#well it only left you with the option of being the most badass gay with the blade

[maghrib-genova]

When you are gay and also study the blade,

You become a force to be reckoned with.

#immortal husbands #the old guard #joe x nicky #kaysanova #Because while everyone else was busy being straight the gay study the blade 🤣 #and when you are busy being gay and also busy studying the blade #well it only left you with the option of being the most badass gay with the blade #no one can defeat them #they are too powerful together

[deltaengineering]

that was the winter anime 2021 that was

Still not quite ready for a dozen posts about how terrible the likes of Combatants Will Be Dispatched are, sorry. Watch Vivy though, it owns. Here’s some more things that are (mostly) good. As always, worst to best.

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki S3

Yatogame has long run out of hot Nagoya facts and its ensemble comedy never amounted to much, so now it seems mostly content to just spam more and more wacky character designs. About the only thing that it has left going for it is that 3 minutes a week are more effort to drop than to watch, so I expect them to make a movie next. 4/10

Go-toubun no Hanayome S2

Quints is a weird one. S1 was a barely good enough (i.e., well above average) implementation of the ages old harem chestnut. S2 is actually better at the core of its appeal, since it gives all the characters a sharper profile (things like taking Nino from joke to badass and making Ichika a villain are no mean feat), but it does pay a steep price for it. You see, to deliver a steady drip feed of meaningful character moments it apparently has to rush through the source material at a breakneck pace, which completely wrecks the "story" part of this story and makes every episode seem like a recap. And it still keeps wasting precious time on vestigial nonsense like its framing device and the Kyoto flashback scenario that was already the worst part of S1. But by far the most annoying aspect is its insistence on keeping all the options valid, since it prevents any real progress and makes everything seem arbitrary and pointless. So sure enough, after a season of much ado we still don't end up anywhere — you can't really raise the stakes if all at stake was "who wins" to begin with. It's watchable and even enjoyable scene-for-scene but it's getting harder and harder to call it a solid show overall. 5/10

Skate Leading Stars

I was watching this primarily because I didn't like Yuri on Ice much and wanted to see if something that is a blatant attempt to cash in on it would be better — because while YoI delivers on one aspect (being hella gay), it really is an absolute shambles of a sports show. And sure enough, Skate Leading has none of the auteur appeal of YoI, but it just works much better. In particular I appreciate how it managed to make me care even a little about a cast of assholes, which is a nice contrast to the nauseatingly ingratiating way YoI tries to make you love its characters. Also, Skate Leading is just generally cheap and unambitious, so not susceptible to trying hard and painfully flaming out on the presentation side like YoI is. But at some point you gotta let go of these comparisons and on its own Skate Leading is... just fine, I guess? Competent, mildly engaging, not very memorable. And that's probably where it loses to Yuri on Ice in the end after all, even if I think it's "better". 6/10

Idoly Pride

Idoly Pride sold itself on me with a really good (and hilarious/tragic) first episode that was just too bizarre to ignore — I mean, how can you ignore GHOST IDOL MANAGERS. Well, the majority of the show isn't like that. It's a competent and solid version of the idol franchise show, yes, but it really had more potential than that. Especially midseason, it gets lost in these dozens of characters, and while they're all likeable, it does seem like a waste of a good story just centered on Mana/Kotona/Sakura. By the end it comes back around to the heart of the matter with a Maeda-style sob story, which could be a disaster but seasoned veteran Jukki Hanada makes it work anyway. Overall, there's quite a bit of ridiculous hacky melodrama in this, but quite honestly that's the best part and I wish it would concentrate more on it. The rest is just okay. 6/10

Yuru Camp S2

Yuru Camp is still likely the best pure iyashikei show when it gets down to business. Compared to S1 though, this seems to happen less and less. At its peaks (i.e., basically any quiet moment with Rin) it's at least as good as ever, and there's some good cast additions like Mini-Inuko, but it appears that Yuru Camp simply has run out of things you can do with camping and it fills up the time with other... stuff. This stuff includes the generic school club shenanigans it was never particularly good at, and a gigantic helping of crass consumerism. Yeah, I would say the majority of Yuru Camp is just a straight up infomercial at this point, which itself ranges from the perfectly acceptable (which cute anime isn't about food constantly), to the sketchy (I don't know whether the Izu tourism board cut this production a fat check, but if they didn't, Yuru Camp still gives its best effort to make it seem that way) to the highly irritating – I am aware that camping requires gear and you can't just ignore that, but you most definitely do not require whole arcs dedicated to talking about raising funds for the purposes of acquiring the Lamp of Comfy Happiness at your friendly local Caribou™ either. Not to mention an arc where the aforementioned lame school club does the same, for double irritation. Make no mistake, this show is so riddled with scenes that beg for a solution to embed affiliate links in video files that it makes me wish I was watching something as anticapitalist and underground as Love Live. And irritating really is the last thing a show with this core concept, as stellar as it is at that, can afford to be. Bummer. 6/10

SKOO the Infinity

Skoo has one really huge asset: ADAM, its magnificent villain. It also has one really huge liability: Reki, its not magnificent protagonist. To be more specific, it's very good at anything outrageous, physics-defying and silly, such as most scenes ADAM is in, and quite bad at anything serious, dramatic (in a serious way) and down to earth, such as most scenes Reki is in. So, what's the verdict? Well, the rest of the cast is more ADAM-like, and Reki's co-protagonist Langa is fine as the straight (yeah, right) man. The tedious buddy drama is a comparatively small part of this show, and at least it pays off quite well in the end. Seriously, I was ready to give this a 6, but the final episode is probably the best one of the show, in all of its aspects. That's really not something you see often. Skoo's a great time. Except when it's not. 7/10

Non Non Biyori Nonstop

Speaking of the rare good ending, what about we gave one of those to a slim and inconsequential slice-of-life show? NNB has always been solid, comfy and amusing quality with a couple of standout moments (usually something with Renge), and Nonstop has that plus an ending as conclusive as any show of this type is ever going to have. Besides, it does a lot of things right by focusing on more characters than the central 4 (especially Konomi has great material in S3), it expands the universe just enough to not get stale, and it moves things forward — It's definitely a lot better than the movie, is what I'm saying. Apart from that, well, we're three seasons in, if you have any interest in this you probably don't need me to explain what's good about NNB at this point. Bonus points for being nothing but an ad for the manga. 7/10

Wonder Egg Priority

Oh boy, so here's the big one. Wonder Egg is the rare Meaningful Arthouse Show About Real Issues You Guys, as you might have heard. And well, the long and short of it is that it's a very good show with quite a few glaring problems (besides not actually being finished due to production issues, but what we have is enough of an ending to be able to meaningfully talk about it). In particular, one problem: WEP is, at its core, one of these metaphorical Magical Girl-ish series that are just a thin layer of abstraction over coming-of-age or societal problems. The issue is that "metaphorical" in this case means "literal" and "thin" means "basically nonexistent". This show is not subtle regarding what it's about, at all. This is a double-edged sword — on the positive side, some things really should just be said aloud, and I'm really, really fucking tired of the Ikuhara style of "here's some wacky things, maybe a blog post will eventually tell you how it's actually about the most important thing ever" obfuscation — if it's really so important, just spell it out. On the other hand, there are limits to this and when a second, different Ai appears I don't really need a voiceover line telling me that yep, this show is about parallel universes now. WEP spells out many important things, but it also spells out many things that are implicitly clear or better left vague. Not to mention that with being so obvious up front, the show's tendency to leave figuring out what it's actually saying about it up to the viewer can leave the wrong impression. Again, I settled on the opinion that it's subtle after all where it counts the most, but you might easily get the impression that it pulls its punches (Ikuhara does this the exact other way around — once you figure out what the fuck he's talking about it's abundantly clear what he's saying about it).

In fact, this show is so good at subtle, quiet character moments that it calls into question the need for big huge fighting fantasy layer in the first place, especially since I'm not a fan of the fantasy designs and the fights aren't great. Sure, they look impressive on a technical level (this show is very good looking in general), but the lack of actual impact or rhythm makes me think this is not made by people who are very familiar with action and maybe they should have asked some seasoned shounen veterans for this — or just, you know, not do it. They can (and do) impress with character acting in quiet scenes just the same. And while Ai's character story actually does pay off quite nicely by the end we got, and Momoe and Rika are also handled well, Neiru's backstory is significantly less good, not to mention the whole Frill subplot regarding the show's mythology that they introduced just before (and that's the part to be resolved at a later date), which is a huge can of worms. We'll see how well they handle that, I suppose, but as it is it's a weird and vestigial detour that doesn't add much besides thematic headaches.

But yeah, apart from all that — I like it, a lot. Great character writing in the details, cool looks for the most part, tons of ambition, and a message that I consider to be appropriately handled — for the most part, and for now. Not quite ambitious arthouse anime at its finest, but also not a pretentious disaster like Sarazanmai, Monogatari et al. 8/10

#anime #review #winter2021 #Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki #Go-toubun no Hanayome #Skate Leading Stars #Idoly Pride #Yuru Camp #sk8 the infinity #Non Non Biyori #wonder egg priority

[serialreblogger]

What do you think of character game: Susan

Pevensie from Narnia?

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with: nobody, because in concert with @malewifelester i have decided Susan is aro (and bi). I ship her with badass femininity

friendship them with: her siblings :(( i’m just a sucker for family bonds, found or otherwise

general opinions: deserved better than getting blamed for trying to conform to the only option for feminine value she was presented with. I honestly do think that if CSL had lived 50 years later he would have had a very different take on the matter (bc as a human being, he was very genuinely well-intentioned and worked hard to avoid bigotry in his thinking. At the same time, it was the 1940s and there were a lot of fundamental precepts of racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/ableism etc that just weren’t ever challenged, or even explicitly mentioned, in most social circles. So, despite his best efforts, there were a lot of things it straightup never occured to him to question - like “gay is bad,” and until he met his wife, Joy, “women are inferior.” I’ve talked before about how much growth he did in the last few years of his life, when it comes to sexism; until Joy pointed it out, he literally never realized it was maybe a bit not good that the highest compliment he knew to give a woman was saying “she has the mind of a man.” Once Joy was like “hey this sucks actually” he went “o h. wow you’re so right” and never did it again, which honestly makes me respect him a lot despite disagreeing with pretty much everything he believed, because he really was that dedicated to examining every idea presented to him and pursuing that which was good and true no matter where it led, and honestly that makes him a better person than some modern-day liberals I’ve met).

That said, he did live in the 1940s, and kids today are still reading and internalizing the messages of The Last Battle, and i think that’s pretty awful so I’m gonna go ahead and make Susan a more complex and compelling character than Lewis ever intended for her to be. Aro bi in the 1940s who was raised being told she was The Pretty One, treated as more valuable than her younger sister by everyone (including her parents) for that reason, and so naturally did everything she could to cling to that label, even at the expense of everything she herself loved and valued. She wasn’t vain, but she was scared, and isolated from her siblings by the socials and special favours she received from the people who liked her for her face. Her brothers looked down on her for the same reason everyone else put her on a pedestal, and Lucy--Lucy didn’t see her either. Lucy envied her, but she didn’t really know who she was anymore.

Susan had no one.

She was expected to settle down and find a nice husband to fall in love with, but she didn’t do that, she’d never really understood what the appeal was in finding a single soul to dedicate your life to, give everything up for. She’d never fallen in love, and she didn’t want to. But she was running out of time.

And what would happen when she wasn’t young and beautiful and perfect anymore? Nobody saw Lucy, who wasn’t ugly but she was just ordinary-looking; Lucy, the sweetest person Susan ever knew, who was constantly talked over and shuffled off to spend summers with the insufferable insect-collecting cousin. What if that happened to Susan? Who would she be, if she wasn’t the beauty of the family? Would she be anyone at all?

And gosh, imagine Susan’s life after her entire family - including the only people who knew about the magic they’d had in childhood, the magic she’d taken to scoffing at because she was so afraid of what that lion who’d abandoned her would say about her now - imagine what she’d be left with after they all died in a train wreck. Imagine how entirely alone she’d be. What would her life become, when she had nothing except a face that would only stay perfect for a few years more, and no one who cared about her except the people who wanted things she could never give?

Dang it, I made myself sad.

#ask game #narnia #cs lewis #susan pevensie #she deserved better :( #thank you so much for the ask!! i love talking about susan pevensie tbh #sexism #character ask game #ask linden

[its-chelisey-stuff]

‘Love and Redemption’ eps 51-59 (final thoughts)

I feel empty but I’m happy. I finished it, it’s over and it’s going to my top favorite dramas of this year. What a crazy, beautiful, painful but rewarding ride! Also, that’s a huge ass poster but it seemed appropiate for the final post and it’s just gorgeous.

This is a very long post, you’ve been warned lol

First thing first: WE GOT A HAPPY ENDING. I loved the story but I knew, going into it that it was a hell of angst fest and that held me back a bit, except that I learned that it ended happily, and hey, I’m down for those endings. What can I say? I don’t do sad endings, real life is already messed up enough. Also, my boy Sifeng remained from beginning to end, my favorite character in the drama AND enters my honorable list of favorite male leads in dramas I keep thinking about making a real post with that list, maybe soon 

I love Xuanji a lot. I want to make that clear before saying what’s next. While I think that she was definitely a lot dumber and gullible that I’d liked her to be, I understood why she was acting the way she did. During  eps 41-50 she didn’t know what Sifeng was doing the way that we as viewers did. She had no idea. Could she have figured it out if she’d tried? Yes, but also, she had a precedent of letting revenge and resentment get the best of her in another 9 lives... so it was not really that crazy that she tried to kill Sifeng. Did I wanted to slap some sense into her? Totally, but I think she was punished enough for doubting him. Not only because she learned the truth of all those past lives and that she always hurt Sifeng but because our male lead himself punished her by pushing her away and given her the cold shoulder once she found him. After two years, mind you.

I think that, if you add all that up, it’s actually a bit more than what she deserved. Poor girl. Also, she totally made up for it once Sifeng forgave her, my heart melted/broke while she cared for him before and after finding out he was dying yet again, because of her, because he saved her.

And then Xuanji made the biggest, most in your face declaration of love and devotion in the whole three realms, when she found out that she was in fact not only the God of War but also the Star of Mosha aka the most terrible and evil dude to ever exist (Dijun’s words not mine) and still opened the crystal lamp... Because only by doing that she could save Sifeng’s life. She basically said “fuck the 3 realms and their peace, if Sifeng’s dead then I don’t care for anything” even when she knew she’d become a man which is hilarious to me bc what the fuck censors?

So Sifeng was no longer on mortal danger but he lost Xuanji sort of since she was now a man lol and thus we never broke the cycle of “we must make Sifeng suffer throughout the whole show”. I can appreciate the consistency of it, even if it broke my heart to see him like that.

And then the drama turned into a BL drama. Which made me laugh for a good almost 4 episodes. I loved it, it’s true. I can’t deny watching Sifeng stare lovingly at a man while holding his hands and telling him “I won’t leave you” didn’t do things to my heart and that my fangirling personality was left unaffected. I do have trouble coming to an understanding of the censors and their mystical ways because they were just not watching the drama. Or maybe they were, since they cut the ep count from 70 to 59. I do wonder what else was in that part of the story we’ll never get to see. Probs more gay stuff and hey! how dare you deprive me of it, censors?

I’m so glad most side plots and problems were resolved before these last 9 episodes, because then we had all that time to focus on OTP achieving a well deserved happy ending while exploring BL options AND the whole “God of War/Star of Mosha are the same person” was finally explained. Which, wow, it was heavy and fucking Dijun, you really are the shittiest shit excuse of a God to ever shit-exist. What an asshole. I felt really bad Luohuo Jidu, to be betrayed and mutilated in that way by a person you cared for and trusted... that’s a terrible violation to suffer. Truly horrible. He didn’t deserved any of that, he was innocent and he wasn’t going to harm anyone or bring war to the heavens. And the ending they gave to Dijun is my one problem with this drama, the one thing that I hated. But tbh no ending would’ve ever felt satisfactory to me. In the end, Xuanji’s attitude, indifference, was the best position to take, since revenge and hate wouldn’t have done any good.

I did enjoy a bit Dijun’s breakdown when the Heavenly Emperor showed him what could’ve happened if he’d never meddled in the whole affair with his stupid motivation to “save and guard the 3 realms”. It was all caused by him... and as much as I hate to admit it, without him, there wouldn’t be a drama. Think about it, had he not created the God of War, Xuanji wouldn’t exist and Sifeng would’ve never fallen in love with her. Everything was Dijun’s fault, including the love story and I feel conflicted about it ngl hahaha.

Which brings me to the revelation that Sifeng was XiXuan while in Heaven, the son of the Heavenly Emperor, a prince of the Heavens and the gasp, the shock, the screams out of my mouth!! It made a lot of sense that only someone in a high position would fly right in the middle of a heavenly execution and say “You’re not dying today, I will make them send you to the mortal realm and go through 10 tribulations. And I’m going with you.” Like !!!!!! Sifeng was SOOOOO Sifeng even before being Sifeng. Which is the reason why even Luohuo Jidu fell for Sifeng ha! 

This was just Sifeng being a sexy badass telling his bf/gf “You need me”

The whole thing while Sifeng was on hell or whatever it’s called, with the Star of Mosha, was totally a BL drama plot and I was loving it. What a way to truly love someone, Sifeng. No matter if she was a dude or a woman or public enemy number 1, he was loyal and supportive of Xuanji in whatever form. Of course no one could resist that level of adoration and ultimately, Sifeng’s fierce love is what saved his life at the end since Luohuo Jidu gave him half of his heart, which reminds me, Heavenly Emperor is really one bad father he barely showed any concern for a son he hadn’t seen in 1000 years and died like 10 times. Wtf? He was also not only a bad father, but also the worst Heavenly Emperor, since he did nothing to prevent any of the problems in the last thousand years!

That was sooo straight of you, drama ;)

I didn’t really understood how Xuanji and Luohuo Jidu got separated but since they already had an independent mind and personality of the other, I guess that was the key? Whatever, love conquers all, and always wins.

After all the big revelations and stopping the end of the world, Sifeng was also in a coma for like a year or who knows how long and poor Xuanji waited/cared for him patiently. To me, it feels safe to say she suffered as much as Sifeng did and loved as loyally as him. Their wedding and their wedding night was stuff out of a fairytale and ChengYi’s ost was the perfect song for it, I was soooooo happy and couldn’t stop smiling like a fool.

The scene with the party, demons and mortals united and celebrating like equals and getting drunk, with Sifeng following his wife around the place while carrying their baby on his arms and trying to get her to put down the wine hahaha was the perfect and a well deserved ending for them.

I like to think they ascended again after a long, happy mortal life, and were free to love and adore each other for eternity. Sifeng, Xuanji, yours was a crazy as f*ck ride, full of pain and tears, but I’m so glad you loved each other so deeply, against all odds, curses, lies and whatnot. Cheers to you and your happiest ending!

I don’t know if I want a season 2! On one hand, if it’s the same cast I’d just have to see it, no question about it, though it ended perfectly. And if it is another cast, why do a second season at all?

#love and redemption #cdrama #yu sifeng #chu xuanji #cheng yi #crystal yuan #yuan bingyan

[carriagelamp]

~ Queer Lit 30 Day Book Challenge ~

I decided to do this challenge I came across for June! Originally it was designed as a “day-by-day” thing, but my June was way too hectic to do a write up every single day… so I decided to make a nice compilation for the end of the month instead!

This is perhaps not the “purest” form of the challenge but I wanted it to be personal for me. Growing up when I did and where I did, I had very little exposure to queer books, especially age-appropriate queer books. That being said, there’s some books on this list that are really only “queer” by technically, or through a secondary character rather than the main character. I debated whether to include these but finally decided that, yes, I would. I owe it to myself. Even though some of these books that aren’t “as queer” as other, they were (or are) really important to me as a queer person and my journey is understanding that, so I wanted to acknowledge them!

More info about the books and the challenge under the cut!

Day One: First Queer Book You Remember Reading

Color by Taishi Zaou and Eiki Eiki

Remember how I mentioned a lack of available, age-appropriate queer books? I was one of those kids who was definitely exposed (probably too young) to queer manga/yaoi. It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted, especially as a wee ace teen, but it was the best I had at the time and it meant the world to me at the time, to see same-sex relationships even if looking back on them is very “YIKES”.

I’m sure I read others before this, but Color is one of the first that I really remember and which I a) actually owned and which b) wasn’t completely repellent in hindsight! I haven’t reread it in probably over a decade so I have no idea how it stands up, but at the time it read like a much more “realistic” account of two teenagers developing a crush and starting a relationship and as a questioning teenager it really helped me realize that this was a real, viable option.

Day Two: Queer Book That Reminds You Of Home

The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag

I hummed and hawed about this one for a long time because honestly I tend to read books that make me feel far from home. I decided to go with The Witch Boy though because it’s a story that challenges gender norms and stars a large family out in the woods, running wild and exploring magic, and honestly it gives me vibes that remind me of vacationing with my extended family. We’re also partially ginger and inclined to run wild in the woods. If we knew magic we’d have used it for sure.

This book is about 13 year old Aster, who lives in a family where the women all become witches and the men all become shifters. Aster, however, has no interest in shapeshifting and instead finds ways to study magic and learn the arts of witchcraft while constantly being pushed out by his female relatives… though everything might change when a new danger, that may or may not be connected to Aster studying magic, begins to appear.

Day Three: Queer Book That Has Been On Your TBR Too Long

Beneath The Citadel by Destiny Soria

That was an easy choice, this has been sitting on my bookshelf for months, staring at me accusingly every time I enter my room. I’m really excited to read it (Magical heist? Rebellion? With an asexual protagonist? Yes please) but for some reason I have not gotten around to it. Some day, baby, some day.

Day Four: Queer Book With A Name Or Number In The Title

George by Alex Gino

George is an absolutely charming middle grade novel about a child named George who the world perceives as male… but who knows she’s definitely a girl. The novel begins when her class decided to put on a play about the novel they had just read: Charlotte’s Web. George is desperate to play Charlotte, her favourite character, but isn’t even allowed to try out because it’s a “girl’s role”. George and her best friend struggle with how to handle this problem and manage George’s secret amid elementary school and home drama.

This book is really adorable – it was a nice, easy, cozy read for an adult, and would also make a great read aloud to elementary-age children if you want to introduce them to transgender characters.

Day Five: Queer Book Where The Protag Has A Fun Job

The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris

Not actually a queer protagnoist, but a queer side character who plays a major role in the series. Mister Vernon, one of Leila’s fathers, has arguable the coolest job: he’s a retired stage magician turn magic shop owner, which is complete with large rabbit, hidden room, and tons of fascinating gadgets to help a young practical magician learn their trade. He is hands down one of the neatest character in the series and is a major catalyst throughout the series.

The first book follows Carter, a runaway orphan who practices street magic to get by, as he runs away from his horrible uncle and winds up meeting a gang of magic-loving friends in a small town. Hiding from his uncle is only the beginning though, and the mysteries surrounding the town and Mister Vernon become thicker and thicker as the series goes on.

Day Six: Favourite Queer Graphic Novel

Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu

There’s lots of fantastic queer graphic novels out there, but I have to name Check, Please! as my favourite (and not just because I’m Canadian and am legally obligated to at least show interest in a hockey story). Check, Please! is the friggin cutest story about Eric “Bitty” Bittle, former figure skater and avid baker, who joins the Samwell University hockey team. The story is told in the form of Bitty’s vlog as he recounts the bizarre quirks of the Samwell hockey team, his struggle to overcome his fear of checking, and his growing crush on the team captain, Jack. Seriously guys, this is cavity-inducing sweetness and you can read it all online for free, here on tumblr @omgcheckplease or at its own website, checkpleasecomic.

Day Seven: Queer Book You Often Reread

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Another book I haven’t reread in years, but this was the first queer novel I ever read (and owned!) so I read it obsessively, first the copy from the high school library and then my own copy (which is, let us say, well-thumbed by this point). It was pure fluff, in an aggressively diverse, relentlessly accepting, rainbow-coloured high school and it was exactly what I wanted in high school, and it still makes me happy whenever I remember it. It’s a straight-up high school romance, pretty traditional to the genre, but it has the most delightful supporting cast you could ever ask for. Maybe I should reread it again this summer…

Day Eight: Queer Book With A Happy Ending

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst

This was a bit more of a “yeah it was fine” book for me, but honestly… queer people deserve some average, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies. As far as my normal reading preferences go, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies are my bread and butter. And this one has a cute sapphic romance to go with it. It’s about Denna, a princess with a dangerous secret: she has a magical Affinity for fire, despite being betrothed to the prince of a kingdom that aggressively prosecutes and fears magic-users. So now Denna is in a strange land, trying to hide her increasingly volatile magic, solve an assassination that rocked the kingdom, and deal with the growing connection between her and the prince’s wild sister, Mare. It has court intrigue, a murder mystery, horses, and lots of confused sapphic pining so it’s totally worth picking up if you want a light summer fantasy adventure.

Day Nine: Queer Book With (Over) 100 Pages

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

I decided to try to get as close to 100 pages as possible! River of Teeth is a 114-page novella that I haven’t quite finished (work and covid stress happened) but which I am fucking losing my mind for. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s peak alternative history, about queer hippopotamus-riding cowboys in Louisiana during the early 20th (late 19th?) century. Like… I don’t know how to emphasize how unbelievably cool this book is. Genderqueer demolition expert with a giant crush and a penance for making things blow up and attempting to poison guests when they’re bored?? Check. Gay gunslinging hippo-riding cowboy with an angsty backstory (and also a giant crush)? Check. Sexy, fat, badass lady con artist with an albino hippo that she spoils? Check. Like damn guys. I’m not done the book and I’ve already bought the sequel because I know the second I pick it back up I’m not gonna stop until I’ve ploughed through it all. This book is the epitome of “refuge in audacity” and “rule of cool”. Is it over the fucking top? Absolutely but that’s the point.

Day Ten: Favourite Queer Genre Novel

The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare

I’ll be honest, I’m a little shaky on what counts as a genre novel (isn’t… everything… a genre??) so I decided to interpret it as “slightly trashy YA supernatural fantasy” because that sure is a hella specific genre I’m weak for.

I really thought I was done with the Shadowhunter novels, I thought they were a goofy series I left behind in teenagerhood that I could look back on with amused indulgence. And then I found out that there was a novel specifically about Alec and Magnus and! Oh no! Ding dong I was wrong. I fell back in hard because listen… I love them. They were one of the first canonical same-sex relationships I ever read about in an actual novel, they meant a lot to me then and still mean a lot to me now. I have nothing to say to defend myself here except that this book wrecked me and I can’t wait for the sequel.

Day Eleven: Queer Book You Love In A Genre You Don’t Read

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connel

I am very rarely a slice-of-life / romance genre sort of person. I like my stories cut with a heavy dose of fantasy, scifi, action-adventure… something. So a graphic novel that’s not only a romance, but one about an unhealthy relationship and infidelity is like… super outside my usual range of reading material. But it was very much worth the read! The art was stunning, and the complicated emotions it tapped into really touched me. I’m very happy to have read it, and was so damn satisfied by the end.

Day Twelve: Queer Book With A Strong Sense Of Place

Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller

Linsey Miller is one author I very actively follow, I love her works and they always have very distinct, complicated worlds with unique societies and magic systems. Belle Révolte was her latest book and followed a prince-and-the-pauper type of story, in which wealthy Emilie des Marais is determined to learn noonday (magical) arts in order to become a physician, someone who can actually work to make her home a better place… but this is not something a proper lady would ever be allowed to do. So she flees her finishing school and meets poor, but magically gifted, Annette Boucher and offers her the chance to switch places. Annette goes back to school as “Emilie” and gets to hone her skills at the midnight arts while Emilie will use her name to sneak into medical school and fight her way up the ranks to physician. This is a challenging enough task, with rebellion roiling just beneath the surface and the country about to slip into a arrogant war that threatens the lives of hundreds…

Day Thirteen: Queer Book That Really Made You Think

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

This is a four book manga series that is completely breath-taking. It’s touched by magical-realism and completely drowned in visually stunning metaphors and symbolism. Seriously, I’ve reread these books multiples times trying to digest how the wide variety of symbols overlap and contradict and compliment and challenge each other. I still haven’t really gotten a solid handle on it, it’s very fluid, so yeah… definitely makes me think.

The story starts with Tasuku Kaname who believes he may have just been outed as gay by a high school friend, and feels like he’s watching his entire world crumble around him. He is seriously considering taking his own life, when he runs into the mysterious woman “Someone-san” and winds up leading him to a drop-in center that’s run by a local non-profit, and is also a hub for a number of queer people in the community. The books follow Tasuku as he grows, learns, makes mistakes, and confronts his feelings, along with a number of other members at the drop-in center. It is completely beautiful, optimistic, but also quite stark and harsh at its look at homophobia and transphobia in modern Japanese society and how it can effect people in different ways. I just bought book four and can’t wait to read it and see how everything ends.

Day Fourteen: Queer Book That Made You Cry

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline

Holy shit guys. Listen. Listen. If you don’t read any other book on this list, please consider reading The Marrow Thieves. It is hands down the best book I’ve read so far this year. Another book that doesn’t have a queer character as the protag, but as one of the main supporting characters and listen, his story fucking destroyed me as a person. That romance just… aaaaaaah. AAAAAAAAH.

Anyway. The Marrow Thieves is a Canadian dystopian novel. It takes place in a post-climate change world in which society has been ravaged – partially due to the wildly different and extreme weather patterns, but also through a strange disease that has spread through the population that has left people completely incapable of dreaming. Now unable to rest, process their lives, and dream of a future, people are being driven insane and only one group appears to be immune: North America’s First Nations people appear to be unaffected. And so they begin to be harvested, rounded up and collected in “school” in order for people to suck the marrow out of them to give to white people afflicted by this disease. The Marrow Thieves follows a First Nations boy named Frenchie as he flees the recruiters and tries his best to survive in this post-apocalyptic like wilderness, banding together with other First Nations people who are heading north, where they hope to find communities of their own people with whom they can shelter and start to rebuild their lives.

It’s a YA level novel, not very long, and such an insanely good read. I cannot emphasize enough PLEASE GO READ THIS BOOK. 

Day Fifteen: Queer Book That Made You LOL

Mostly Void, Partially Stars by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Welcome to Nightvale always makes me laugh and it was a lot of fun to get to read the transcripts of the episodes. I’m a sucker for novelizations/transcripts of shows. It was a nice nostalgia trip and gave me an excuse to go back and relisten to some of my favourite episodes too! If you’ve never gotten into Nightvale… hey, it’s a classic! Podcast is fucking stunning if you’re into podcasts, and if you’re not but would enjoy a weird, queer, eldritch horror comedy then try the book! It’s the first “season” compiled in text form, exactly how it’s heard in the show.

Day Sixteen: Queer Book That Is Really Personal To You

Jughead volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky et al

Including this one because gee golly it sure did make me want to fight a lot of people for quite a while. It was one of the first stories I ever found/read that had an explicitly asexual main character… (and a character I already really loved! Which I now got to feel an even stronger connection to! It was so fun and validating!) so it was super awesome how like half of tumblr decided for a year there that this was apparently a cardinal sin. Imagine… one single version of old, long standing comic series deciding to retcon a character to represent a heavily under-represented community… imagine being so fucking angry about that that you decide to start a hate campaign on the internet. So much fun to live through that as an ace person. Anyway, these comics were nothing amazing but I sure do love them aggressively out of pure spite, even now that the aphobia on tumblr has died back down I will hold this to my chest and adore it.

Day Seventeen: Favourite Queer Book Sequel or Spin Off

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

Honestly do I even need to say anything here? Is there any queer person who hasn’t read Mackenzi Lee’s The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue series? If you are someone who hasn’t read it yet… go do that?? Absolutely stunning, one of my all-time favourite book series. It’s the perfect combination of hilarious and goofy, intense action, heartfelt character development, and a dash of “wait was that supernatural or??” This sequel was fantastic, this time focusing on Felicity, Monty’s sister, and her quest to become a physician despite being a woman in the 18th century. Awesome look at femininity, feminism, asexuality, and race. (Also… OT3? OT3.)

Day Eighteen: Favourite Queer Book By A Favourite Author

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

One of those “ehh is this technically queer? Not really but close enough, it is in my heart” books. It was one of the books I read as a teenager when I was still beginning to seek out and try to explore queer lit in so much as I could.

Terry Pratchett is, hands down, my favourite author, and though he doesn’t tend to write explicitly queer literature, his exploration of gender through allegory is top fucking tier. Everything to do with the dwarves in his series is fascinating, and a really great challenge/critique/exploration of gender, and this is the book that takes it to the next level (and brings in at least implicitly queer characters). It’s about Polly Perks, who lives in a small, war torn nation, choosing to join the army in order to find out what happened to her brother. However, as tradition dictates, she can’t join as a girl… so she disguises herself as Ozzer, a young man. There’s a lot of twists and turns, and as always Pratchett delivers fantastic humour and just absolutely delicious satire.

Day Nineteen: Queer Book That Changed Your Life

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson

This was the book that made me realize that I, as a queer teacher, could have queer kid lit in my future classroom. Maybe a comparatively small revelation, but a really important one to me. It made me realize that this didn’t need to be something I kept a secret in my professional life and which could really positively influence children, especially queer children. It was the first queer children’s book I ever bought.

Day Twenty: Favourite Queer Book Series

Candy Color Paradox by Isaku Natsume

Alright… I’ll admit it, this isn’t actually my favourite series, but I’ve used my favourites in other spots. And this is a good one! Definitely more of an actual “yaoi” than the other manga I’ve included (here there be sex) but it has a very different vibe that what I’m used to from that type of manga. The main pair are actually both capable, mature adults, with careers they actively care about, and who get together in the first volume! 

The rest of the series is less about them angst-ily toeing around their relationship, and much more about them learning to grow as a couple and balance their work and relationship and society. It’s funny and sweet, and I really enjoy these two losers. It’s a very low-stakes enemy-to-friends-to-lovers story, in which Onoe (a reporter) and Kaburagi (a photographer) are paired up on a news story they’re supposed to dig into together. What starts as a bickering rivalry gradually becomes respect, friendship, and love~ Onoe is a gremlin of a protag, so he’s a treat to follow.

Day Twenty-One: Queer Book That You Recommend A Lot

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

To repeat myself: Linsey Miller is awesome! This is my favourite book of hers, the first of a duology. It’s kind of like an intense, edgy Tamora Pierce novel with murder. In this world, the Queen has a team of assassins known as the Left Hand. They’re an elite group that keeps the Queen safe and does the dirty work that needs to be done to protect the kingdom and keep the encroaching nations at bay. When the assassin Opal is killed, a contest is announced to find the new Opal. People from all over come to complete for the honour of being one of the Queen’s royal assassins, including gender-fluid thief Sallot Leon. Sal has some deep motivations to become Opal that go beyond a loyalty to their kingdom, but they’re going to have to survive their competitors if they even wants a chance at it… (Sal generally goes by either she or he in the books, but I’m using they in this instance since it’s in a more general sense.)

Day Twenty-Two: Queer Book That Made You Take Action

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Uhh, I don’t really have any books that made me take action per se, but this one sure gave me a lot to think about. It’s about deep sea mermaids who originated from the pregnant slave women tossed into the ocean to drown during passage to North America. From those dying women, this race was born and were taken in by whales, raised and protected until they could descend into the deep ocean waters, to form their own safe society. Their collective past is so painful though that as a species they’ve developed a very short term memory. But a people can’t live without any ties to their roots and so one of them, the Historian, holds all the memories for their entire species and shares it with everyone once a year so that the community can be connected to their ancestors before once again returning the memories to the Historian for safe keeping. Yetu, the current Historian, is so overwhelmed by these memories, that she can no longer take it – she flees her people, her responsibilities, and her pain and escapes to the surface instead...

Day Twenty-Three: Queer Book By An Author Who I Killed Is Dead

Cybersix by Carlos Trillo

I cannot emphasize enough, this is not actually a queer comic, it is in fact a very homophobic, transphobic and sexist comic written by a horrible person.

That being said, he’s dead and I own it now the TV series was essentially about a genderqueer superhero and a very confused bi biology professor who has a crush on both personas. I had a passionate crush on both personas as a child, and I will cherrypick this comic until I die in order to enjoy the only kickass genderqueer/genderfluid noir antihero I’ve come across. I am valid and I am not open to debate or discussion. Do not read this comic it’s horrible (but consider watching the show).

Day Twenty-Four: Queer Book You Wish You’d Read When Younger

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

This is such an incredibly soft story with the nicest art. There’s so much understanding and compassion in it and its exploration of gender and self-confidence and being true to yourself would have been very reassuring to me as a child, especially by late elementary/middle school. 

Day Twenty-Five: Queer Book In A Historical Setting

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

A retelling of Achilles’ and Patroclus’ relationship from childhood to the Trojan war. So yeah, you can imagine that this was also a candidate for Day 14 :’) I haven’t read this one in years but god it was lovely and emotionally destroyed me as a person.

Day Twenty-Six: Queer Superhero Book or Comic

Overwatch: Reflections by Michael Chu and Miki Montillo

I don’t really read superhero stories very often (the comics have always driven me a little bonkers, trying to find a way to enter the totally unapproachable Marvel/DC canons, and the MCU burnt me out years ago for every other sort of superhero story) so this is the closest I can get. Tracer’s a superhero yeah? Anyway, I, like every other queer person in the Overwatch fandom, lost my fucking mind when this dropped for Christmas a few years back and officially declared Lena Oxton not only the face of the entire franchise but also a lesbian. It’s an adorable little comic and Tracer’s girlfriend is a sweetheart.

Day Twenty-Seven: Favourite Queer Children’s Picture Book

Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack

There’s a number of sweet queer children’s books that are popping up these days, but this is my favourite just because it’s less about “explaining the gays to children” (though those books also have their place) and more of a cute little fantasy adventure in which the actual protagonist is gay. It’s about a prince who sets out to find himself a bride who can help rule by his side, but it quickly becomes clear that he isn’t interested in any of the girls. Instead, when a fire breathing dragon threatens his kingdom, he meets a brave knight who fights along side him. It’s very supportive and the art is lovely.

Day Twenty-Eight: Queer Book That Made You Feel Uncomfortable

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

This is a book with an asexual protagonist that I was originally really excited for. I know there are a lot of people out there who really enjoy this book and connected with it, but it didn’t do it for me. Maybe because my expectations were too high, but the protagonist’s experience with asexuality was vastly different than my own and the narrative voice ended up rubbing me wrong (and let’s be honest, slice-of-life romance is NOT my usual genre at all). So it’s not “made me uncomfortable because it’s Bad And Wrong” more just… totally vibed wrong with me. Maybe the perfect book for other people but definitely not for me, I had to return this one unfinished because it’s portrayal of asexuality just made me so deeply uncomfortable.

Day Twenty-Nine: Queer Book That Made You Want To Fall In Love

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

This book had to make it on here somewhere, and honestly it could have gone in a lot of different spots, but I chose to put it here because the relationship between Monty and Percy is so incredibly sweet and authentic it really does make you want something like that. TGGTVAV (for anyone who has somehow not heard of it) takes place in the 18th century, and is about Monty, his best friend (and crush) Percy, and his sister Felicity going on a final “hurrah” tour of Europe before Monty's father finally tries to pin him down in England and force every part of Monty that’s deemed “unacceptable” out of him. So Monty intends to live this summer up… until everything goes off the rail and the three of them are suddenly fleeing across the continent with assassins at their heels and a strange, stolen artifact in their possession.

Monty has a lot of growing to do in this novel, and that’s one of my favourite things about it. For his and Percy’s relationship to ever have a chance, Monty needs to learn and change and actually communicate with other people, and it makes the relationship feel strong. Not a fluffy, surface level romance that often happens in YA but something built from the ground up by two friends who really want to make it work. Ahh, it’s lovely. One of my favourite novels.

Day Thirty: Queer Book With Your Favourite Ending

My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame

A two-book manga series that was completely stunning. It deals with queer relationships and homophobia in a very stark, real-world manner that you don’t often get in manga, while still being incredibly loving and sympathetic. The book is about Yaichi, a single father whose estranged brother (Ryoji) recently died. One day, a Canadian named Mike arrives, introducing himself as Ryoji’s widower. Mike had come hoping to visit his late husband’s homeland to try to get some closure, and Yaichi ends up inviting Mike to stay. The whole story looks Japan’s societal biases, through Mike’s experiences, Yaichi’s thoughts, feelings and prejudices, and those of his daughter who adores Mike. 

Seriously, this is one of the kindest, most earnest looks I’ve ever seen to internal prejudices that critiques them without demonizing the person who feels them. Instead it lovingly embraces grief, growth, and love. This series made me cry multiple times, was good enough that even my straight brother practically ordered me to go out and buy the second book when he finished the first, and the ending was just *chef’s kiss*

Honourable Mentions

A few books I really wanted to fit on my list somehow but couldn’t quite manage it, so here: All Out an anthology of historical fiction short stories about queer teens. The Tea Dragon Society series and Princess Princess Ever After, graphic novels by the amazingly talented Katie O’Neill. Heartstopper a webcomic turn graphic novel by Alice Oseman about a pair of rugby players. The Different Dragon a cute picture book in which the boy has two moms and which is about accepting different ways of being. And Lady Knight a part of Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small series because because Kel is word-of-god aro(and/or ace) and I’ve adored that series and Kel since I was about thirteen so by god I’ll take it.

- 

Now for those that wanted to do their own challenge, I found it on @gailcarriger’s blog.

#queer lit #queer literature #queer books #pride books #pride 2020 #book review #book reviews #lgbt literature #lgbt books #tggtvav #tlgtpap #mask of shadows #belle revolte #jughead #check please #shadowhunters #our dreams at dusk #my brother's husband #manga #witch boy #wtnv #the marrow thieves #canadian lit #canadian literature #river of teeth #the prince and the dressmaker #and tango makes three #the deep #song of achilles #idk and others i guess

[indipindy16]

Heyyyyy, so about that doc with the AU ideas.... (Please feed me I yearn for content)

im obsessed with the idea of monoma and aizawa being related to afo lol. you only see like 3 quirks in the whole series that are based on other quirks - what i would call ‘meta quirks,’ that would only have any function in a world of quirked people. so ofc these 3 quirks have to be related:

afo decided to have a bunch of kids, to see if he could make noumus out of them which retained their brains after being given a bunch of quirks. he impregnated a bunch of women lol, but he kept tabs on them. as soon as the kids turned 4 and presented their quirk, they would be kidnapped by the doctor and brought into the lab. most of the kids had quirks based on quirks (seeing quirks, stealing quirks, copying quirks, erasing quirks…) and are various ages. aizawa, monoma and midoriya were some of them, but aizawa got saved by his badass mother when he was still a kid, so he was already gone by the time midoriya and monoma came around. the two of them manage to escape while afo is still recovering from his fight with all might, and since monoma’s mother was killed by afo, he goes to live with midoriya and his mother. they go off the grid and run away from afo. in this au midoriya is quirkless, up until he meets all might and it goes as usual. umm could be from monoma’s pov, and include monoshin because that’s cute. basically after the sports festival, afo finds monoma again and in the summer camp they kidnap him instead of bakugou. (the reason why aizawa was never caught or taken back by afo is because he won the whole sports fest and became too famous/well protected to be easily stolen back - since monoma didn’t make the fight rounds, he’s a perfect target. afo only knew the kids by their quirks, he never actually met them, so he doesn’t realise that midoriya is one of his kids as well because mido has a quirk now.) anyway so after they kidnap monoma back, he and midoriya spill the beans to the ua faculty, aizawa has a midlife crisis over the fact that he now has younger siblings, and afo continues to be a dick who doesn’t pay child support.

just some sweets stuff as well:

Christmas cake: Japanese slang for an unmarried woman over 25 who is considered undesirable as a wife, in the same way that Christmas cakes are considered useless after Christmas Day.

Good thing for Jirou, she never cared much about being ‘desirable’ to the opposite sex anyway.

-> a momojirou story about jirou’s 26th birthday and momo reassuring her that she is the best gf ever, and that she loves her very much. pro hero gfs <3

*

like. the trope of aizawa adopting shinsou? well what about instead… hawks adopting tokoyami?? maybe he comes from a super religious family and they tried to exorcise the ‘demon’ from him, protective services put him in the foster system, and he ends up with really shitty foster families, and his quirk is considered ‘dangerous.’ but then our boy hawks swoops in and goes ‘u know what? i’m not letting my intern get disrespected like this’ and adopts him. obviously hawks is still young himself (22 i think), so he’s not very good at the whole parenting thing, but miruko helps him out. he becomes an older brother figure for tokoyami. gen found family fluff ensues

*

bEST JEANIST AS A TEENAGE FASHION ICON

thats it, thats the idea

*

HAIKYUU AU - no quirks. just volleyball

so the ua boys volleyball team is on the rocks. its been pretty much non-existent and turned to dust at this point. but, it once own the nationals.

izuku’s mum runs this second hand / antique / trinket store, and izuku helps out sometimes. one day, he finds some old sports tapes in the back and watches them - they’re of the year when ua was at nationals, and their striker, yagi toshinori, inspires izuku to play volleyball.

bakugo is on the school team and he threatens / bullies izuku not to join, so izuku has to train on his own. he learns shitty technique, but he ends up building some muscle by clearing out the beach.

izuku gets into ua, and when he goes to apply for the volleyball team, ofc bakugo picks a fight. the other first-years who join the team are todoroki, kaminari, shinsou, kirishima, and iida. there aren’t any second years - they all got expelled - but mirio and tamaki are on the team as third years, and nejirou is the team manager. their teacher sponsor is a new teacher this year, and it’s left ambiguous. there’s the whole ‘get over ur differences if u want to join’ thing, and then woohoo! team!

turns out their teacher sponsor is aizawa. he drags in the now-retired-due-to-injury yagi toshinori to be the coach. when aizawa went to ua, the volleyball team was too small to go to any tournaments - he’s determined to turn it around and let these kids live their dreams.

some ‘canon? what’s that?’ ideas:

just a really wholesome story about inko and mitsuki being besties. met in middle school or something, supported each other through everything… just gals being the best of pals...

or i mean u could make it gay, that’s always an option (and have izuku and katsuki grow up as actual bros, and actually be friendly to one another? what a shocker) - like, the two of them get sperm donors and are pregnant at the same time so the kids can be twins or something. and ofc you’d expect katsuki to be closest to mitsuki and for inko to be closest to izuku, but then to make it a TWIST add some great bonding between inko + katsuki and mitsuki + izuku!! i’ve never really seen any mitsuki + izuku bonding in stories before, so that’d be pretty cool

*

izuku gets hit by a villain’s quirk during a big villain attack when he’s 7, turning him part-cat. the villain dies during the attack, so they can’t erase his quirk’s effects - they’d have to surgically remove the ears and tail, or get an expensive quirk specialist in. izuku decides he likes being a nekomimi, so he keeps them and gets being part-cat officially registered as his quirk. he has better senses and agility, and he can talk to cats now i guess. also his eyes are cat eyes. he doesn’t pass the ua exam, so he goes into the general department instead, but he does really well in the sports festival and gets transferred into the hero course with shinsou. (this is all just because i need a valid excuse to make izuku have cat ears.)

some ‘future au’ ideas:

all of the pro heroes merch lines - deku’s ’t-shirt’ shirts, tokoyami’s edgy emo/goth hoodies, iida’s ingenium trainers, bakugou’s popping candy chocolate, todoroki’s own brand of scar cream, HAGAKURE’S CAMO COLLECTION OMG the possibilities are endless  

---i made hagakure’s camo for her bday drawing

(i use a strikethrough so i know which ideas i’ve used or posted anywhere. i think that once i put an idea on the internet, it’s probably free reign, so if you want to use any of these for fics or art go ahead. i’d just appreciate it is you could link back to me haha)

5 years after graduating from the General Studies department of UA, Hitoshi opened his own agency. As a private detective.

By the time he’s 25, he’s settled in and relatively comfortable with his career choice. So when his work phone rings one day and he’s still half-asleep he easily opens with, “Shinsou Detective Agency. Before you ask, I do not investigate cheating spouses or missing dogs and I do not screen potential employees for companies.” He paused. “I’ll investigate missing cats, though.”

The person on the other end took a harsh breath, like an almost-laugh, and responded gruffly, “Hm. Good to know if Jelly ever gets lost.”

-> aka shinsou is a PI and aizawa contacts him for help on a case. aizawa never sought out shinsou after the sports festival, being too busy with 1-a’s insane antics, and so shinsou went on to never become a hero. maybe he’s also a vigilante on the side? idk. anyway so yeah aizawa gives him temporary permission to use his quirk during the case. they investigate, blah blah, the point is that afterwards aizawa gets shinsou a licence and takes him on as a sidekick (the same way ingenium offered to koichi in vigilantes)

i have new ideas on the daily. this doc is just growing

keep in mind, i have given to you here only a few of the shortest ones. there are several huge paragraphs of full-au ideas (like where izuku has a quirk, and the entire story follows canon)

these are, ostensibly, ideas for fics that i never write because i’m lazy. but some of them i do end up using for art or comics, so... yeah. most of the comics i’ve posted were originally just little scripts in this doc. an example:

yamada and reformed!shirakumo are walking together, with coffees

shirakumo: so then i - oh, your phone’s wringing

(yamada’s ringtone is the nyancat song, and the contact name is ‘daddy’)

shirakumo: haha, you still call ur dad ‘daddy’? i thought you got over that in high school (taking a sip on the coffee)

yamada: (answering the phone, keeping eye contact with shirakumo) hey, shouta, what’s up?

shirakumo: (spits out coffee)

—- made this a comic on tumblr

damn this post is longer than i expected

whelp, i hope you liked it

#answered ask #bnha #bnha meta #bnha au #au ideas #bnha au ideas #free ideas #come along kids get ur free au ideas #dad for one au #haikyuu au #momojirou #inko x mitsuki #i will go down with this ship #there's a lot of dadzawa here as well #dadzawa

[queerchoicesblog]

Unicorn Emergency (TF Series, Chris x Zig)

So, it’s time for my second and last request for the Creative October Challenge hosted by @playchoicesficidea​ 🍂 

This fanfic was requested by @andi-the-cat and sees Chris and Zig dealing with an unexpected...unicorn emergency. I tried to make it light-hearted and funny as requested: hope I made it right! Since I headcanon that Chris and Zig shared a rather secretive and complex relationship which took a while to blossom (see When We Were Young), there are hints of romance here, not full PSA.

Prompt: Unicorn

Word Count: 1526

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn  @bhavf  @melodyofgraves @abunchofbadchoices​  @silverhawkenzie  @begging-for-kamilah  @kennaxval @kamilahmykween @desiree-0816 @universallypizzataco @gayestchoices @embarrassingsmartphonegame​ @strangerofbraidwood @wrath-gutierrez​

_________________________

"Crap!"

The sudden exclamation startled Zig as he was folding his football uniform before putting it back into the locker. Luckily, he didn't jump: instead, he turned and saw Chris froze in place a few steps away, gaping at the screen of the smartphone in his hands.

"What's up, man? You okay?" Zig asked, raising an eyebrow.

It took a moment to Captain Powell to notice his teammate giving him a quizzical look. He swallowed hard and started typing frantically on the keyboard.

"Yeah...I mean, no, it's..."

He pressed the send button and groaned.

"I think I messed up big time"

"Okay, let's hear what happened" Zig said in the most concealing tone to hide the shadow of concern rising inside him.

"Spill the beans, Captain. Maybe I can help" he added, reassuringly squeezing Chris' shoulder.

Chris met his eyes and grimaced. He hesitated and hung his head in frustration: he couldn't believe that a thing like that could ever happen. Not to him, not after all he had done, not with all the love he had inside him.

In the end, he sighed deeply and spoke.

"I...forgot my sister's birthday"

The look on Chris's face was so miserable that it almost hurt to see. Zig offered him a sympathetic smile.

"Well, technically you didn't, man: you remembered just now"

"Yeah, because my mom texted me they're waiting for me at home this weekend for the birthday party"

Seeing that Chris was starting to beating himself down again, Zig put his hands on his shoulders and waited until the forlorn captain looked back to him.

"No, no, no: don't do this to yourself. You're not the worst big brother on Earth, you were just a busy brother: a big match coming up, exam prep, promotion of the second chance scholarship-"

"But still-"

"When was her birthday?"

"Yesterday" Chris winced.

"Yesterday it's not that far away, you can call her tonight and apologize"

"She won't understand, she's nine, Zig: the only thing she will remember will be how her brother forgot about her on her special day"

This was getting nowhere. Zig opened his mouth but Chris spoke again.

"And I even forgot to buy her a present, the present she asked long ago" he added grimly.

"It's Thursday afternoon, you can still get it. Tell you what, I'll come with you. What did she ask for?"

A weak smile appeared on Chris' lips.

"Ehm...a unicorn onesie"

Zig blinked and chuckled.

"AJ? Are you sure we're talking of the same person?"

"I know, right? And it was meant to be a secret: she would kill me for sharing this 'weakness' of her. She's a tough girl"

"To put it mildly!"

The two of them shared a quick laugh then Zig patted Chris' back and put on his signature smile.

"Okay, let's go get this unicorn onesie for the badass girl"

"Like now?" Chris gaped.

"Yup. Chop chop, Captain: the secret gift won't buy himself!" he winked, picking up his bag --------------------------------------------

A couple of hours and several failed trips to malls later, they stood in front of the entrance of a costume shop fifteen minutes before closing time.

"Worth trying: Fortune favors the bold, isn't what they say?" Zig shrugged and they both entered, hoping that it would be the lucky call.

Feeling anxiety and concern growing inside me, Chris made a beeline to the counter where a visibly bored girl who was making a big show of chewing a gum as texting on her phone.

"Hi there! Sorry, it's a bit of an emergency as funny as it may sound but can you help me?" he said, trying to sound as cheerful as he could.

The girl sighed and raised her eyes from the phone but said nothing. She just kept chewing her gum.

"Okay, hm...I was wondering if you have unicorn onesies fo-"

The girl rolled her eyes and burst into laughter.

"Why don't you try a sexy firefighter costume instead? I bet it suits you better: you work out a lot, don't you?" she giggled, winking at his Hartfeld Knights hoodie.

"What? Oh no, it's not for me!" Chris quickly said, blushing a little.

At that very moment, Zig arrived and stopped by his side, looking quizzically between him and the girl...who immediately covered her mouth with a hand.

"Oh sorry, sweetheart! I didn't get it...apologies!" she said, shaking her head.

Then she addressed Chris again, a smile on her lips.

"Central aisle till the end, than turn right and right again. That's where adult costumes are"

"Adult costum-" Chris and Zig choked at unison.

"Even though I still think you guys should try the sexy firefighter ones too" she added and leaned a bit closer to whisper. "They really help to spice things up, if you know what I mean"

Zig barely stifled a nervous laughter clearing his throat as Chris turned another shade of red.

"Actually I'm not looking for...adult costumes. It's for my sister, she's nine...you see"

The girl gave him a lingering gaze than put her phone back on the counter and nodded understandingly. After a moment she reached across the counter and took Chris hands' into hers.

"It's okay, sweetie, you don't need to be ashamed of it. You must have suffered a lot, poor thing but who cares if you're into the football team and gay at the same time! You're totally entitled to love your boyfriend here" she gestured at Zig, entering her passionate speech mode. "..and unicorn onesies too! We live in a very mean world but don't let the bastards grind you down, okay? It's totally fine and you are a beautiful human being. You two are a beautiful couple and my heart is full of love for you. Jenna here is totally rooting for you"

That said, she pulled him into a tight swaying hug.

Zig stifled another laugh at the awkward "support gay rights" speech of the oblivious girl. He didn't linger on the thoughts those words suggested, a scenario he had pictured himself not long ago but clearly impossible. So he went to the rescue of speechless gaping Chris patting the back of the girl's back.

"Thanks, that's sweet of you to say but...we're not a couple and it's truly a birthday gift for his sister"

However still not fully convinced, the girl redirected them to the children costume area, adding that sadly there were very few unicorn onesies left. She probably meant to perorate her cause more but refrained as the guys sped up to the children aisle.

"Worst idea EVER!" a flustered Chris commented, heading towards the "kids costumes" sign. "Remind me not to set foot here EVER again"

"How come? The lady there was just lovely" Zig chuckled, following in tow.

"Oh that's for sure but I will die of shame I guess"

Zig decided not to read too much into that answer: would Chris really be ashamed of having a boyfriend? He had been very understanding and supportive with Zack, Kaitlyn and Hayley but...you never know. Would a kiss from a boy upset him?

He decided to keep up the jolly bantering and let that train of thoughts sink. As they turned left, finally surrounded by Halloween kids costumes, he grabbed Chris' chin and shook it playfully.

"You don't have to be ashamed, didn't you hear the lady, man?"

Chris laughed and cute dimples formed at the corner of his mouth, almost taking Zig's breath away.

"And...you would be cute even a unicorn onesie"

The words slipped out of his mouth, making his cheeks turn slightly pink. Internally cursing himself, Zig diverted his eyes and added:

"Don't take in a bad way, I mean-"

"Well, good to know I have other options outside the sexy firefighter thing" Chris laughed shyly, smiling quickly before scanning the kids costumes.

"Found anything good?" Zig asked after a moment, trying to shaking off the last piece of conversation from his mind.

Chris nodded and turning showing two onesies.

"These might do: they look like pajamas, don't they?"

"Yeah, you're right. Which one will you go with?"

Chris looked down at the two options.

"I can't really see AJ with the purple one, better stick with the classics, what do you think?"

"Sounds safe, knowing AJ" Zig agreed.

They hurried to the counter again and paid. As they walked out of the closing shop, Chris' phone started beeping.

"It's mom. Better answer this, I might get a chance to talk to AJ and apologize for yesterday" the captain said, an apologetic look in his bright eyes. "Sorry Zig..."

"No apologies needed, Cap" Zig shrugged.

"Just omit the part about adult costumes shopping and she will be fine" he added, playfully patting Chris' back and flashing one of his signature smirks.

"Dork!" Chris shook his head and pressed the answer button.

"See you tomorrow, Sexy Firefighter" Zig waved at him on his way to the nearest bus stop.

Chris chuckled...when a voice resonated in his ear.

"Who's a sexy firefighter, love?"

His mother's voice followed by hearty laughter.

Chris winced: it would have been quite a long -and, knowing his mom, most embarassing- call home...

#october challenge #the freshman series #chris powell #zig ortega #chris x zig #playchoices #choices fanfic

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

OC Interview!

I got tagged by the lovely @andremarshallwhite in this, thank you! I think someone else might have tagged me a long time ago? I couldn’t find who it was, but big thank you if someone else did!

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same. I’m tagging: @marvilus73 @thesuplexrangerexperience @red-king-4 @commonwealthhero @myworldisbiworld @humans-are-friends-not-food @nya-for-you I know that’s more than five but I can’t count and also hate rules. I think some y’all done this already, though!

I’m cutting this because it’s hella long, so the rest is under the cut 👇

1. What is your name? "General Jack Daniel O'Kelley of the Commonwealth Minutemen, how about you?"

2. Do you know why are you named that? "Yes."

3. Are you single or taken? "Taken, but... if you're asking because you're interested... my relationship is a little bit more... open than people usually mean when they say 'taken'."

4. Have any abilities or powers? "I'm very talented at creating. Equally if not more talented at destruction. Radiation heals me after I had this thing happen on an island with the Children of Atom.. long story, it was a phase. I also know a neat trick with my tongue..."

5. Stop being a Mary Sue. "I would love to but no."

6. What’s your eye color? "They were blue, but now they're... it would be easier to just show you."

7. How about your hair color? "Blonde, blondes have more fun!"

8. Have any family members? "The only blood family I have left alive is my son... but, it's complicated. And something I'd rather not discuss... blood doesn't make family, though - I know that fact with certainty. I consider the people I love and trust and work with every day, the people who we have each other's backs, my family."

9. Oh? How about pets? "Just Dogmeat... oh! And a robot butler. That's the same thing, right?"

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like? "Greed, injustice, hatred, you know, that kind of stuff you would think people would dislike... I've been told that's not very common anymore. Or maybe it never actually was. And Gunners. I will wipe every single one of those sons of bitches off the face of this god forsaken earth even if it kills me. Yum Yum Deviled Eggs are also fucking gross."

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? “I like to do robots. I mean, I build and mod robots. Give old assaultrons flamethrowers and refurbish old sentrybots so they have gatling laser hands. Paint them fun colors. Put skulls on 'em. Make friends with them. That kind of thing."

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? "Only if necessary or if they earned it. Out here that seems to be a lot of people. And before The War... I served four years in Anchorage, I didn't get to decide what was necessary or... right... so then, too, as a soldier, yes."

13. Ever… killed anyone before? "Same answer as before."

14. What kind of animal are you? “Have you ever heard the term ‘crazy like a fox’?”

15. Name your worst habits? “Jet, mentats, psycho, med-x and whiskey”

16. Do you look up to anyone at all? "My mom and dad. They were good people. They had really good hearts. They adopted me when I was ten. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into. Then they stood by me through... everything. Unconditionally. I still have a hard time believing people like that really existed."

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual? "Very bisexual"

18. Do you go to school? "I did when I was a kid"

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day? "I had that life once... I would do it again in a heartbeat."

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys? "Not that I'm aware of."

21. What are you most afraid of? "Failing to protect my family again."

22. What do you usually wear? "Whatever's seasonable, reasonable and fashionable. Though fashionable is probably subjective..."

23. What’s one food that tempts you? “Fancy Lads Snack Cakes – I’m supposed to be saving them all for my husband because he really likes them. A lot. I lack the words to convey what happens when you put a box of those things down in front of this man. But they’re so good and sometimes I break down and sneak some. He always knows when I do. Can you imagine having your shit together enough to know exactly how many snack cakes you have? If you can’t, ask him, because evidently he does. I love that man.”

24. Am I annoying to you? "Not particularly"

25. Well, it’s still not over! "Well, OK then!"

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)? "I don't know if there's necessarily a class system out here anymore... but before The War my wife and I were probably closer to the upper end of middle class. My parents were definitely middle-middle class. Before that... I don't know what class you would call a kid without parents scraping by in an orphanage."

27. How many friends do you have? "You want a number? I have no idea. I'm friendly with a lot of people."

28. What are your thoughts on pie? "I once got a perfectly preserved pie out of one of those snack gizmos you see around here and there. Every single one I tried was broken - my pal Mac kept telling me to just smash one open if I wanted that pie so bad, but I wanted to get one fair and square. And god dammit, I finally did. I still haven't eaten it, I put it on my mantle like a trophy."

29. Favorite drink? “Whiskey and Nuka-Cola 50/50 mix”

30. What’s your favorite place? "There's an old overpass up by Greygarden. Once you get on top of it you can see the whole Commonwealth. It's amazing."

31. Are you interested in anyone? "There is this one guy I'm kind of married to..."

32. That was a stupid question… *shrug*

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? “I would rather just cover myself in butter and throw up a sign that says ‘Mirelurks Eat Free!’ if those are my options...”

34. What’s your type? “Alive... no, I'm kidding. I mean, that is a prerequisite, oh, unless you’re a robot... are robots technically alive? Anyway.. I don't know. I like a lot of different types of people. Genuine people. People who are smart in their own way, whatever way that is. Being a little bit badass doesn't hurt either."

35. Any fetishes? "We don't have time to answer that question, to be fair."

36. Camping or outdoors? "I like being outdoors... I don't like being cold or eaten by surprise Deathclaws, so camping is the less attractive option."

#sole survivor #ty for tagging me in oc things you guys are so good and nice

[dent-de-leon]

Hi Leo! I'm curious, can you tell me about Dragon Age?

AJSKSDJSKFSG THIS IS PROBABLY LIKE A 3 HOUR CONVERSATION IF YOU GET ME STARTED, BUT REAL QUICK:

Dialogue heavy, story driven RPG where you are a Chosen Hero (or Unfortunate Bastard of Circumstance) and gather allies 

You can build up friendship with party members and even romance some of them. Shoutout to all my love interests that left me…I cry about a new elf or mage ex every time a new game comes out…

The combat’s fun!!! I’m especially partial to playing a mage in DA2 and Inquisition–this will also heavily impact the story cause mages and mage rights and lots of other plot based stuff,,, 

You can be a snarky smartass and in DA2 that’s my whole personality 

Real quick basic plot summaries for each of the main three games:

Dragon Age Origins: Nightmarish creatures called Darkspawn exist. And rarely, they manifest in one huge plague known as the Blight that consumes everything in its path. Like in Inquisition, you can choose your race and background. But here, you actually get to play out your origin story, hence the title. You eventually end up whisked away from your home to become a Grey Warden, honored–and cursed–heroes that are specially trained to end Blights. As it happens, you and another junior Grey Warden end up being the only Wardens left in the country, so you’ve gotta figure out everything you never got to learn in your (x1) day on the job, gather allies, lead a war-torn country, and maybe pet your dog. 

Dragon Age 2: You can only be a human. However, class does still play a huge role. And in this case, whether or not you’re a mage will determine so much of how your journey plays out, as this game is entirely about mage vs templar politics (mages aren’t trusted to control their power, so they’re guarded in towers by templars, it’s a whole thing). As a way to balance team mechanics, whether or not you’re a mage will also determine which younger sibling your Hawke gets to keep (iM REALLY SORRY BETHANY,,). You are Hawke, and your day just keeps getting worse. You’re one of the refugees fleeing the country that got devoured by the Blight in DAO. You’re just trying to get by in this hellhole of a city. Reluctant hero gets plunged into the heart of all their city’s problems until the whole place is torn to pieces. Try and protect your family–or whatever’s left of it–and hope you trust your friends enough to forgive them. I always saw DA2 as being as much about your companions as your PC, so really pay attention to them. I also think a lot of this game is about redemption and whether or not someone deserves it, ect. Also, Fenris did nothing wrong and I’d die for him. 

Dragon Age Inquisition: Rifts into this thing called the “Veil” that lead to a magic world known as the “Fade” are torn open. And by unfortunate happenstance, you end up receiving a mark on your hand that is slowly eating away at you–but is also the only thing that can seal the rifts. People from across the lands look to you for help as their supposedly chosen savior because of this, and you are heralded by the dominant religion as such–though opinions of this will vary if you’re not their ideal candidate, as in,, not human, a mage, ect. You can choose to bask in your newfound glory or publicly denounce that some god has fuck all anything to do with it. Either way, you become the leader of an Inquisition and have entire armies at your disposal. Also Cole is so good and I’m still crying over him. 

DAO AND DA2 ARE!!! HARSH!! WITH CONSEQUENCES!! You can absolutely get party members accidentally killed. You can also commit absolute atrocities against them. DA2 is especially unforgiving with this because you can end up automatically losing people if you don’t have their approval high enough based on their personal allegiances. But like, Inquisition is really forgiving. None of the party members can die, but they can ditch you. Which is Fair 

Inquisition is probably the easiest game to get right into. Aspects of DAO just haven’t aged well and the combat’s so much more tedious for me. DA2 and DAI have much better combat systems, but I think DAI feels a lot more like a traditional “DA” type high fantasy game. There’s also lots of different places to explore as opposed to being confined to one city and such and you get into lots of really different lore with throwbacks to the older games. DA2 is also, uhhhh….depressing,, like, I love it and replayed the hell out of it, but the ending isn’t that big triumphant hurrah or happy comfort you get in DAI (and in endings for DAO). So yeah, I think if you just want a glance at DA, you can try out Inquisition. 

DA2 is treated as the ugly black sheep of the franchise but it’s the Best story so that’s that on that. Also, Hawke is by far my character I’m most attached to. Warden is badass and legendary and Inquisitor was fun but,, I dunno,, Hawke was just very different and personal. They weren’t leading an army or anything, they were just trying to get by and I kinda liked that 

If you’re playing Inquisition I hope you like elves (i love them lmao) but yeah it’s huge on ancient elf lore!! If you’re playing an elf you might be more into that 

COLE IS MY BOY IF YOU PLAY INQUISITION PLS TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM HE’S A GOOD GHOST BOY AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM

There’s also a fair bit of lgbt rep, though there is some discussion as to whether or not it’s as progressive or representative as people would like, but, real quick on potential relationships for your PC: There are 2 bi romance options in the first game. Every romance option but an added DLC character is bi in the second game. The third game’s romance options include a gay man, a lesbian, two bi characters, and a pan character. And of course there are characters that are queer beyond just the romanceable NPC’s. Krem, for instance, is one of the only trans characters in a video game I’ve ever seen that isn’t treated like a joke and is a fully dimensional character where that part of their identity isn’t shoved under the rug.

There’s lots of Fantasy Politics so like,, hope you’re into that. Also, fuck the templars and the Chantry. 

NOT NEARLY AS MANY DRAGONS AS ADVERTISED,, CERTAINLY NOT ENOUGH TO BE CALLED “DRAGON AGE,” SHOW ME THE DRAGONS BIOWARE,, PLS,,–Inquisition has absolutely the most dragons, so there’s that 

Morgan and Leliana are fucking amazing and seeing so much of them again in Inquisition was the best  

Fenris is Best Romance and that’s that on that

I’m so sorry this was so long, but its not as long as all the hours I’ve logged in every one of these fuckin games 

#you innocently: 'hey can you tell me a little bit about dragon age?' #me stressed and trying to procrastinate at 1 am: 'BOY--'

[javis-beretta]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (1)

this is part one of my first series, based off the movie w/ the same title which is so stupid and cheesy, i love it. i’m gonna continue this anyway (because i’m having a good time writing it) but pls send me an ask or a message if ya like it bc i crave validation. enjoy! <3

((also this has some swears and i don’t like writing abt girls fighting, so i’m changing that part of the plot thx))

part 2 / part 3 / part 4

It wasn’t that you fell in love easily, the opposite was actually true. You just had a lot of fuzzy feelings, fairly often, and those feelings were pretty easy to misinterpret as love. That’s how it had been with Race Higgins, back in grade six, when everyone still called him Tony and he was your first kiss in a game of spin the bottle. That’s how it had been with Romeo Cortes, when he danced with you at your first ever school dance in grade nine. That’s how it had been with Jack Kelly, who had been your first best friend, your cute neighbour and your sister’s first boyfriend.

(Well, Kath wasn’t your sister, not exactly. Her parents, Mr and Mrs Pulitzer had taken you in when your mom had passed and, when Mrs Pulitzer joined her, Katherine’s dad had become a father to you both. So, she wasn’t your sister, not by blood, but she was your family in every way that mattered.)

One thing your mother had taught you, long ago, before you’d been old enough to understand what she meant, was that there were few better ways to understand yourself than writing. She filled books with pages and pages of how she felt when she met your dad, and how she felt when he wasn’t around anymore, and how her heart soared with love for you.

So, whenever you heart felt a little too full, you let your feelings overflow onto pages. After you kissed Race, in the middle of a game of spin the bottle at your first real boy-girl party, you wrote him a letter explaining how much it meant to you. After Romeo saw you standing alone at your first Homecoming and took your hand to lead you in a sweet, short slow dance, you wrote him a letter about how good it felt to not be alone, and to have him by your side. After Katherine told you that she was dating Jack, when you felt your heart sink as you smiled and gave her a hug, you wrote him a letter about how much you wished he’d chosen you, or even seen you as an option.

The letters were only ever for your eyes, for you to understand what your heart wanted, at those moments. Race was dating Spot, your second (and ex) best friend; Romeo was gay, and the entire school knew that he’d been pining after Darcy for forever and Jack was cute and creative and kind, but Katherine was the closest person to your heart and you would never ever hurt her by dating him, even after they broke up when she left for college. The letters were all hypotheticals. They were impossible fantasies and you liked it that way.

Until, on the third day of your junior year, when it all came crashing down.

Race walked up to you, dressed in the same jeans and bomber jacket kind of style that he (and most of his track team friends) had been rocking since the start of high school. He made it work, but that was no secret. Everyone who had ever been in your school hallways knew that Race Higgins was cute. It was one of those things. The sun rose every morning, the moon controlled the tides, Race Higgins was cute. It was an easy and simple fact. Another easy and simple fact was that Spot, Race’s boyfriend, had stopped liking you pretty much as soon as high school had began. You weren’t sure why, but you didn’t mind too terribly. You had people in your corner, like Katherine and Davey, so Spot could dislike you if he wanted to. Still, he probably wouldn’t have been too happy to see Race coming to talk to you with a serious look in his eyes, looking as though he was seeking you out.

He found you sitting outside school, with your laptop open on your lap. You were working on your English assignment as you waited for the bus.

“Hey, Y/N. Can I, uh, talked to you for a second?”

You were surprised, but you pulled out an earphone and motioned for Race to sit down next to you.

“Listen, as much as I appreciate the thought, Spot and I, like, just broke up so I don’t think that we could…”

He trailed off, looking at you expectantly.

“No offense, but what are you talking about, Race?”

He laughed, sounding a little uneasy and reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper in a vaguely familiar envelope.

“This letter is, like, really sweet and from what I can remember that kiss was pretty hot, given that we were twelve, but, I just don’t think we should date.”

Suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea wash over you. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. He could not have gotten the letter. How could he have gotten the letter? It was locked away in a box at the top of the closest in your room and there was no way he could have it. But, he did. And, if he had gotten his, that meant that… Oh, motherfucking, no.

You looked up and saw Jack, heading out of the school building and making a beeline for you. No, no, no. So, before you could think, you panicked and did the only thing that would stop Jack from talking to you. You grabbed the collar of Race’s jacket and pulled him towards you. Letting your laptop drop onto the grass below you, you screwed your eyes shut, and kissed him. After a moment, he sunk into you and you opened your eyes for a second to see Jack, in your peripheral vision, hesitating and turning back. In your head you thanked Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

You pulled away from Race and both of you were gasping a little.

“Uh, okay, that was a little better than the kiss we had when we were twelve, but, um, respectfully, what the fuck just happened?”

Race sounded as confused as you felt, and just then, the school bus pulled in.

“Shit, I-I’m so sorry about that, but, uh, I have to go. Thank you!”

You grabbed your laptop, stuffed it in your bag and ran to the bus, sinking down into the first seat you found. You glanced out of the window and saw Race, still clutching the letter tightly in his hands, looking well-kissed, with wide pupils and swollen lips and more than a little bewildered.

“Fuck,” you said under your breath.

“You can say that again, sister.”

You glanced to your right and, there, sitting next to you in all his glory, was Romeo Cortes.

“Hi,” you said feebly, with an even weaker wave.

“Hey. You okay? You kind of look like you just got rejected from the college of your dreams.”

“Ha. Something like that. I definitely have the same ‘my life is officially over’ feeling.”

He gave a low whistle and spoke softly.

“So, I, uh, got your letter.”

For the third time that day, you felt ready to chug a cup of lighter fluid. You didn’t reply.

“I’m really flattered, and Homecoming really was fun, but, um, you know I’m gay, right?”

You covered your warm face with your hands.

“I know, of course I do,” the words came out a little muffled, so you pulled your hands away and continued. “I wrote that letter ages ago. Those are the feelings of past me, not current me, I swear. I am so so sorry.”

Romeo nudged your shoulder with his and shrugged.

“Hey, it’s all good. I’m used to being irresistible.”

You let out a little helpless laugh and he grinned, kindly.

“There we go. So, you can smile! You look like you need someone to talk to. Wanna tell me about your day?”

You looked at him and the words came spilling out. You explained the letters, and Jack and your consensually ambiguous kiss with Race and the pit of helplessness you felt at the bottom of your stomach.

“Wow,” was all he said, at first. What more could he say?

“Well, first of all, homeboy kissed back, so I wouldn’t worry about the consent there. Secondly, you need to talk to your sister before her ex-boyfriend does. And then, you need to talk to him. And Race. Basically, you’ve got a lot of talking to do.”

“Can’t I just sink into a hole and die instead?”

“While that sounds like a great option, I’d be gutted if my favourite dance partner disappeared.”

He gave you a smile, and you felt a little bit better. If Romeo believed your story, maybe the others would too.

The bus pulled up to your stop and you got up to leave. Romeo was right, you needed to call Kath, as soon as you could.

As you walked from the bus stop to your house, you saw someone standing on your porch. He was wearing paint-stained jeans, a dark blue shirt, murderously hot combat boots and a badass leather jacket. Jack Kelly. Of fucking course. Shit. You turned and ran, as fast as your legs would carry you.

#race higgins x reader #newsies x reader #jack kelly x reader #katherine plumber x jack kelly #romeo x reader #newsies: the musical

[enbysaurus-wrex]

All-American Boy chapter 4

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13196649/chapters/30685923Chapter 4

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and

Stars are falling all for us

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one

-Your Guardian Angel, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Cas:

Cas wasn’t sure why Dean had freaked out on him exactly, but his roommate hadn’t done it since, so Cas believed him when he said it wasn’t because he was gay.

He decided, after being unintentionally shoved out of the closet, that he was pretty comfortable coming out to all his friends. They met at Moondoor twice a month and Cas figured the next game would be as good a time as any to tell all of them.

“Uh,” Cas said nervously before approaching the group. “Before we start… I kinda needed to say something.”

“Sure thing, Cas,” Charlie said, giving him a warm smile.

Cas swallowed, hard. You can do this, he told himself before taking a deep breath.

“I’mgay,” he said quickly. Suddenly shy, he looked down at his boots, blush coloring his face. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“Welcome to the club!” Max shouted and a few people woo’d and clapped. Cas immediately relaxed. He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

Charlie hugged him and whispered, “Thank you for sharing that with us,” before he returned to Team Badass and stood beside Dean.

His roomate clapped him on the shoulder. “Proud of you, man,” he told him and Cas couldn’t help but smile. He'd chosen some pretty good friends.

On Monday, September 18th, Dean came barreling into their room after class.

“Why didn’t you tell me today was your birthday?” he demanded, throwing his backpack on his bed.

Cas shrugged, pausing his game. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“You know what this means right?” he asked and Cas shrugged.

“It means you’ll be twenty-one basically all of your junior year!” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I have to wait till January!”

“So?”

“So? So?” Dean said, throwing up his hands with a huff. “You summer and fall birthdays will never understand…” He shook his head and sat down on his bed. “Dude, missing the cut-off in kindergarden or whatever has finally paid off!” he all-but shouted and Cas shrugged, still not quite getting what Dean was trying to explain to him. “You’ll be able to go to the bars with me my senior year, man!”

Cas searched his eyes before asking, “You want to be my friend that long?”

“Will I want to be- Of course I will!” Dean said, kicking off his boots.

“I’m sorry it’s just that… I’ve never really had friends,” Cas admitted, wringing his hands together.

Dean stopped and looked at him, one sock in his hand, one sock still on his foot. “What?” he asked, after a moment.

Cas was suddenly embarrassed. Of course someone who had as many friends as Dean would be taken aback by that sort of news. He probably thought it was extremely unusual, like there was something wrong with Cas. Maybe he would even change his mind about wanting to be his friend.

“I-it’s just that, well, my parents… I-I never really was allowed to… um, hang out with anyone and… I know it’s weird for someone to come out and say they never had any friends and I would totally understand if you didn’t want to hang out with me-”

“What!” Dean yelped, standing up. “How could you even think that?”

“Well, it’s just… I thought...” Cas stammered.

Dean shook his head. “No, you know what?” he asked, sitting back down on the bed and putting his sock back on. “Fuck practice. You and me? We’re going out. How does Dave & Buster’s sound? I know we can’t exactly drink or anything but their food is pretty good. My treat.” Dean gave him a charming smile as he slipped back into his boots.

“That’s an arcade right?” Cas asked, swearing he’d heard the name someplace.

“Yeah, it’s pretty expensive but really fun and totally worth it. We could invite the Moondoor group… I’m surprised you and your brother don't have any plans for your birthday.”

Cas looked down sheepishly. “He asked but I told him I already had plans. I didn’t want him to close the shop early on my account.”

“He owns a candy store, right?” Dean asked as he laced back up his boot.

“Yeah, it’s pretty high-traffic on the weekends. That’s when he gets the most business,” Cas said, still not making a move to get out of his gaming chair. “Look, Dean, I appreciate the thought but you don’t have to take me to Dave & Buster’s.”

Boots laced, Dean stood up and grabbed his leather jacket from his wardrobe. “We can always do something else if you don’t want to do an arcade. I just figured, you know…” he said, gesturing towards the television where Fallout 4 was currently paused.

“No, I like archades. I used to go with Gabe. He’s the one that got me into gaming… But that’s not what I meant.”

“If it’s about the money, Cas, I got that covered. I saved up a bit this summer working at Bobby’s.”

Cas sighed. “I can’t have you spend money on me and miss practice,” he said, turning the controller over in his hands.

“Hey,” Dean said, holding out his hand to help Cas up. “It’s no problem okay?”

With another sigh, Cas put the controller down and grabbed Dean’s offered hand. His roomate pulled him to his feet and suddenly they were eye to eye. Blue eyes met green and for a moment both stared, neither pulling away. Dean cleared his throat, breaking the trance and Cas let go of his hand, putting some space between them.

“Okay,” Cas said, finally relenting. “If you insist.”

“I do,” Dean said, grinning. “This’ll be the best nineteenth birthday you’ve ever had!”

Cas rolled his eyes, retrieving a jacket from his own wardrobe. He chose his tan trench coat instead of the leather one Gabe had gotten him. It was slightly large on him but it was his favorite for whatever reason. “It’ll be the only nineteenth birthday I’ll ever have,” he corrected, slipping the coat over his shoulders.

“Semantics,” Dean said with a chuckle.

Dean:

They were seated at a table near the bar when Dean received the text from Charlie. He refrained from slamming his phone down on the table in frustration. Come on, Charles! He needed a buffer!

“Charlie can’t come either,” he growled. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”

Cas looked down at the table and Dean immediately knew he’d said the wrong thing. “I’m sorry, Dean,” he said into their shared plate of pull-apart pepperoni pretzels.

“For what?”

“I’m sorry you're stuck with me all night,” Cas said, looking up at him bashfully.

“Nah, man,” Dean said, picking off another piece of pretzel. “I like hanging out with you.”

Before Cas could say anything in response, their waitress returned. “You boys ready to order?”

Dean gestured for Cas to go first. “Yes,” Cas said, looking back down at his menu. “I’ll have the chicken parmesan alfredo, please.”

The waitress wrote something down onto her notepad. “And you, hun?”

Dean pointed to the item he wanted, finger pressed against the glossy picture of the glorious looking burger. “Can I have the BBBacon Burger?” he asked, stuttering out the Bs. What? That’s how it was written! He can’t have been the first person to do that!

Their waitress chuckled. “Sure thing,” she said, writing down his order. “Anything else?”

Both Dean and Cas shook their heads, mumbling no thank yous and the waitress made her way back to the kitchen, telling them their order would be out as soon as possible.

“Why’d you say it like that?” Cas asked him as soon as she left.

“That’s how it was written!” Dean said defensively. He took a sip of his Coke.

“Uh huh. Sure,” Cas said, taking a sip of his lemonade. “I’m sure it had nothing to do with making our waitress laugh.”

Dean frowned. Sure, their waitress was an attractive dark-skinned girl in her mid to late twenties, but he was only concerned with making one person laugh tonight.

“Or maybe I just wanted to make sure she got my order right,” Dean suggested. “You know, saying the menu items exactly as they’re written. Less room for error that way.”

Cas chuckled. “Suuure.”

“And, you know it’s gonna be good too. Because it has three Bs,” Dean said, pinching off another piece of appetizer.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Cas said, stirring his lemonade with his straw.

Not even five minutes later, their waitress came back with their food. She moved the half eaten appetizer to the side to make room for the entrees.

“That was quick!” Dean said when she placed his burger down in front of him. He immediately took a bite and groaned around a mouthful, earning yet another laugh form the African American woman. Looking over at Cas, Dean noticed the other man frown a little and look away. Shit! He had to fix the situation fast! He didn’t want to totally snub his roomate on his fucking birthday!

Cas looked back over at Dean when his plate was sat down in front of him and Dean smiled at him, earning a small smile in return. They both thanked their waitress and she left to go help other guests. Since it was a Monday night, however, the place wasn’t very packed. Satisfied that he and Cas were okay, Dean returned to his food.

When Cas took a bite of his pasta, he made the slightly orgasmic sounds he always made whenever he ate really good food. “Wow,” he said, swallowing. “This is really good. Didn’t expect that from an arcade.”

Dean looked up from his fries at the man sitting across from him. It was just the two of them. There were supposed to be other people here. At the two-seater table they were currently sitting at, it almost kinda sorta felt like, well, a date.

“I’ve heard the drinks are really good but expensive,” Dean said conversationally. He took another big bite of his bacony burger. “This is too good,” he said around a mouthful. “Sammy’d never approve… I know they have a grilled portobello and veggie sandwich. If he were here, he’d probably get that instead of a salad. He only orders those at, like, diners and shit where they don’t have another vegetarian option. He’d probably order a side salad but he’d bum a few fries off me anyway.” Dean chuckled and popped a few in his mouth.

“It’s sweet you’re looking out for him even though he isn’t here,” Cas said, looking at him with a bashful smile Dean couldn't quite decipher. “Though, I thought you said he was vegan, not vegetarian.”

Dean nodded. “He is. He just takes the cheese off,” he said with a shrug.

“I see,” Cas said, twirling more cheesy pasta onto his fork. “Well, to Sam,” he said, lifting his fork in mock solute.

“To Sam,” Dean agreed, raising his burger. “May the hippie freak live forever.”

Cas only ate about half his pasta, claiming that the appetizer filled him up too much. He mentioned not wanting to waste the rest, but also not wanting to lug a to-go box around the arcade.

“I can carry it for you,” Dean suggested.

Cas shook his head. “Dean, I’m not going to have you carry my food around with you just because I’m feeling lazy.”

“It’s your birthday,” Dean said with a shrug. “You shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how birthdays work,” Cas said skeptically.

“Well, it’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to,” Dean quoted.

Cas snorted. “Way to quote a song that’s over fifty years old.”

“Hey,” Dean said, pointing his finger at Cas. “Don’t diss old music. Besides, I was quoting the Amy Winehouse version. That’s only, what, seven years old?”

Cas chuckled again, shaking his head. “I’m kinda concerned you know that, one. And two, maybe she should have partied a little less, don’t you think?”

“Don’t disrespect the dead,” Dean scholded, polishing off his drink and standing up. “And don't shame me for liking a wide variety of music. What am I supposed to do? Pretend to like one genre and one genre only just to keep up the allusion I’m some sort of cool macho dude?”

Cas stood up too. “Hey,” he said, raising his hands in defense. “As long as you don’t like Taylor Swift or something-”

“Don’t disrespect T-Swift. Shake It Off is my jam! Junior year in high school, man. I rocked that shit at prom.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Whatever. We gonna play some games or what?”

“Hell yeah we are! Time Crisis, newest version, you get to play the girl.”

“I would be honored to play a kick-ass female protagonist,” Cas said, making his way towards the arcade area. “You are so on, Winchester!”

After kicking his ass at Time Crisis, Cas suggested they play the Jurassic Park game.

“You don’t understand, Cas,” Dean said, getting into the Jeep. “My high score on this thing is insane. I’ve been playing it at every arcade since I was a kid.”

“We’ll see about that,” Cas said, swiping his card.

Dean swiped his own game card. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Novak.”

It turned out, the sensors on the 90s era game were absolute shit. Neither boy could shoot straight and they game overed pretty quickly.

“Well, that was a waste of money,” Cas said as he stepped out of the machine.

“Maybe we should go back a couple decades and play a retro game we know works?” Dean suggested.

“What do you have in mind?”

Dean shot Cas a smirk. “Oh, just the arcade classic known as skee ball.”

“I’m not very good at that,” Cas admitted with a frown.

“Well, I’m a master, taught by the best,” Dean bragged.

“Yeah?” Cas asked, as they made their way towards the machines, he pulled out his phone and began typing something into it. Dean only got slightly jealous at the thought he could be texting someone else.

“Yup. My dad was something of an arcade master in the 90s. Taught me everything I know,” Dean said, swiping his card and picking up a ball.

“Skee ball was invented in 1909, so… way more than a couple of decades before Jurassic Park,” Cas said, poketing his phone.

Dean felt confusing relief that his roommate was Googling the game like a nerd rather than texting someone. He wasn't sure why the idea bothered him so much in the first place. It wasn't like he had a crush on him or anything. It wasn't like he was Max.

“You would look that up,” Dean said with a snort. He threw his first ball, landing perfectly in the middle circle. He looked over at Cas who seemed impressed. “I’m gonna win you a prize,” he said before landing another perfect throw.

In the end, Dean wracked up a sufficient amount of tickets, which he loaded onto his game card. They played a few more rounds of games including the ever-awesome Terminator game with the heavy as fuck guns and four player Pacman with two strangers, girls who looked around their age. They learned the girls were named Patience and Kaia and they were both attending a local community college. They played a few rounds with them before the girls had to leave.

When both their game cards were out of ‘tokens’ they made their way to to the Winner’s Circle area to cash out Dean’s skee ball tickets. He had just enough for a large plushie.

“Pick something out, Cas,” Dean said, pointing him in the direction of the wall-o stuffed animals.

“Really? You want me to get a giant plush cartoon character like we’re in some bullshit teen romance movie?” Cas asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow at Dean as if issuing some sort of challenge.

Dean’s throat went dry. “Yeah? It’s your birthday, man. It doesn’t have to be anything weird.”

“Fine,” Cas said, appraising the toys on the wall. “I want the Pikachu.”

Dean waived the attendant over to get the giant plush toy down with one of those plastic hooks.

The attendant handed the extra large Pikachu to Cas. Honestly, it was probably bigger than an actual Pikachu would be.

By the time they were ready to leave the arcade, it was close to midnight. The busses were no longer running and they had to get an Uber. Well, there went half of Dean’s spending money for the semester, he thought as he, Pikachu, and Cas squeezed into the backseat. Looking over at his roommate, he realized it was worth it. Cas was worth it.

Cas:

The day after he and Dean went to Dave & Busters, Cas was tired to say the least. They didn’t get back to their dorm until almost one in morning, but rather than going to bed, he and Dean stayed up late watching old episodes of Pokemon on Netflix. So when he got up for his seven AM jog before his nine AM French class, he was pretty beat having only gotten a little under four hours of sleep. When his alarm blared that morning, Dean called him crazy and told him to just skip the jog and sleep in, but if he did that he’d feel, well, off the whole day. No, jogging was essential to make Cas feel like Cas. So, off he went into the brisk September morning. The air at least felt fresh on his lungs. Come wintertime, however, he’d have to start jogging inside. His phys ed class would be using the indoor track soon as well. He stifled a yawn as he stretched and though he could maybe take a nap between his French lab and Theatre, which didn’t start till eleven. At least he only had three classes that day, with Calc II ending at two o’clock.

The rest of the week passed pretty normally, with Dean going to every practice, even getting up to run with Cas on Thursday. Without French lab, Cas could sleep in till nine, and since most of Dean’s classes were late morning / afternoon classes, and because he missed a day of practice, a nice run before the big game tomorrow would do him some good.

Of course, he complained the whole time.

That Friday, the soccer stands were a sea of purple, fans of the sport gathered there to show some school spirit for the first game of the year. Cas, not normally a sports person, was sandwiched between Charlie and Garth, cheering Dean on as he gracefully made his way down the field. Birchwood kicked Noter Dame’s ass of course, the bulldogs scoring twice as many goals as the Leprechauns. Who the hell thought that Leprechauns would make a good school mascot anyway? Cas thought with a small chuckle.

The next home game would be in two weeks against Duke, and after that, the team would be off to Stanford for an away game. Apparently Birchwood was in division one, whatever that meant, and competed against schools all around the country. Cas was rather proud of his roomate, even if that meant he’d have to spend a weekend away from him. At least it didn’t fall on a LARP weekend.

Thankfully, the weekend after the Stanford game was Halloween. A few weeks prior, he and Dean had went to Halloween Express to pick up some wings to complete Cas’s Constantine costume. Since Cas already had the shirt, tie, and trench coat, Dean thought the character would be cheap, easy, and pretty impressive to those in the know of the comic series.

In the store, Cas selected a pair of black wings.

“You know, Constantine can just perceive angels. He’s not actually an angel himself,” Cas said, as he ran his fingers along the feathers.

“Says you,” Dean argued. “I think that’s exactly why he can see angels and demons. If he wasn’t a half-breed himself, why would he have those special abilities? He’s a nep-whatever.”

“A nephilim,” Cas corrected. “And that’s just a fan theory.”

“Whatever. We can be our own characters,” Dean said, selecting a serrated rubber knife. “You can be an angel who’s fallen from Heaven to stand with humanity. And I can be your handsome demon-slaying friend.”

“You know,” Cas said, smiling shyly. “That’s kind of appropriate, me falling from Heaven, given who my family is… And the fact that you’ve helped me ‘slay my demons’ in a way... It fits.”

Dean turned to look at him. “You’ve never really talked about what happened with them…” he said, his tone sympathetic as if he was curious but didn’t want to push. Cas appreciated that. “You only ever mentioned not having much contact with them anymore. Did they… Did they kick you out or something?”

Cas sighed. “I don’t really want to get into this right now,” he said. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Dean. It was just that he wanted to keep his family drama out of his new life. He’d already said too much in passing already, or rather, not enough about his parents that Dean started to become suspicious. Only mentioning Gabe all the time instead of a father or mother must’ve tipped his roomate off.

“It’s cool,” Dean said with a shrug. “I get it. You don’t have to open up about anything you’re uncomfortable with… I’m glad I could help though.” Dean smiled at him and the pressure in Cas’s chest immediately melted away. Dean would never judge him.

“Thank you, Dean,” he said as the two of them made their way to the registers to pay for their purchases. His chest felt light and he and Dean exchanged small smiles. He was falling more and more for his roommate each and every day. And that wasn't a good thing.

It was Friday, the 27th of October and Cas was tying the plain blue tie for his not-Constantine costume. Dean was dressed in his usual flannel, jeans, and work boots.

“Why aren’t you in costume?” Cas asked him as he slipped on his tan overcoat.

Dean looked down at himself, pointing to the toy blade sticking out of his pocket that he’d drawn symbols on with a silver sharpie. He’d even gone so far as to use a bit of brown paint he’d bought from the art store in the Villa to age the hilt.

“I am in costume,” he argued, earning an eye roll form Cas. “What? I figured as Buffy-esqu monster hunter I’d pretty much wear what I always wear.”

“Uh huh,” Cas said as he adjusted his angel wings. “You know, in X-Files they just wear suits.”

“I’m not X-Files,” Dean argued. “I’m X-Files inspired.”

“Whatever you say, Dean,” he said, making sure his keys, wallet, and phone were all in his pocket before they headed out to the haunted corn maze. The nearest outdoor Halloween event (complete with haunted corn made and hayride) was about a forty-five minute drive out of Chicago. Kevin and Channing offered to drive the entire LARPing group to the event, so long as they all pitched in for gas money.

Truth be told, this was Castiel’s first Halloween. His family had previously forbidden the holiday claiming it was ‘satanic’ and ‘inappropriate for children.’ He’d never been to a haunted corn maze, or even a haunted house. He hoped he wouldn't make too big of a fool of himself in front of Dean. Maybe, if he got scared, he could grab his crush’s hand, no consequences. Use the maze as an excuse. And maybe, if he were lucky, they'd go on the hayride after.

“What are you supposed to be?” asked Charlie in a very well-done Wicked Witch costume.

“I’m an angel of the Lord,” Cas said, making his voice even deeper. “I fell, just as Lucifer did, but for all the right reasons.”

“Cool, and I guess you’re just here as Dean Winchester?” Charlie asked, holding back a laugh.

“For your information, Elphaba, I’m Dean Winchester, hunter extraordinaire,” Dean said, playfully flipping her off.

“Hunter? Like Bambi?” Goth-Alicia asked.

“No, like monsters,” Dean said, eying Kevin up and down. “Nice Ariel, Kev.”

“Hey, you wish you could fill out this shell bra as well as me,” Kevin said, pushing the cups of the brassiere together to show off his non-existent cleavage.

They all laughed as Dean, Cas, warlock Max, waitress Jo, and a werewolf Garth all piled into demon-Channing’s five seater sedan. It wasn’t the safest option having Max and Channing sit up front with Garth sandwiched between Dean and Cas in back and Jo on Dean’s lap, but it was their only option. There simply wasn’t enough seats for all of them. Cas tried not to be jealous as the blonde girl made herself comfortable on Dean’s lap. No, it was simply not his place to hate her just because she and Dean were a couple.

Kevin took Charlile, fairy Gilda, vampire Alex, Alicia, and cheerleader Krissy into his own sedan. They were in the same boat with Krissy sandwiched between Alicia and Charlie, and Gilda on Charlie's lap. Alex sat up front with Kevin.

“If I’m cheating, so's Jo,” Dean argued as they pulled away from Kevin and Channing’s apartment. “She’s just using one of her mom’s old uniforms from when she used to work at the Roadhouse before it burned down.”

“At least I’m not going as myself,” Jo spat back and Dean tickled her pits, causing her to squirm, making everyone even more crowded and uncomfortable. “Hey! Dean Winchester I swear to god-”

“Not while I’m driving, Dean!” Channing yelled, giving him a harsh look in the rear-view. Maybe it was her devil horns, but that quickly shut the duo up.

The rest of the ride, Dean and Jo were pretty well behaved, making casual conversation with Cas and Garth as they made their way to their destination.

Once they made it to the haunted corn made, everyone breathed a sigh of relief once they got out of the car, stretching their sore limbs.

“Cas! Dean!” a voice shouted from across the parking lot and Cas turned to see a gypsy fortune teller and Disney’s Pocahontas approaching them. When they got closer, he recognized Patience and Kaia from Dave & Buster’s.

“Hey! Didn’t think we’d run into you guys again!” Dean said, offering them a small wave. “You know, Ariel and Pocahontas should take a picture together, seeing as they’re both Disney princesses.” Dean chuckled and pointed to Kevin struggling to get out of his van in the mermaid skirt.

“No thanks,” Kaia said. “Just here to represent Disney’s one and only Native American princess.”

“Nice!” Charlie said, giving her a high five. “Now, if only Disney made a lesbian princess, we’d be all set.”

“At least they made Lefou gay,” Cas commented. “It’s a step.”

Kaia shook her head. “We deserve more than a couple seconds at the end of a movie,” she said, crossing her arms. “Until the LGBT community can have main character roles with actual representative romantic story-arcs, it will just be scraps and not an actual seat at the table.”

“Aaand on that note,” Patience said, grabbing her girlfriend’s hand and laughing awkwardly. “You mind if we join you guys?”

“The more the merrier!” Garth answered for the group and everyone nodded.

The maze wasn't as scary as Cas had hoped, and on the hayride after, Jo had sat next to Dean near the rear of the truck, forcing Cas to sit next to Charlie. The night wasn't going exactly as planned, but Cas still had a load of fun. Afterall, he didn't agree to go just so he could get closer to Dean after all.

A couple more LARPing nights and a few more soccer games passed before the week of Thanksgiving. Classes were getting into the thick of things, and Cas had already submitted several large papers and assignments for each class. Although he was still running outdoors, his Jogging class was utilizing the indoor track as students began to complain about the cold.

Classes ended on a Tuesday that week, but it was their Friday schedule. The university called it ‘Fruesday’ and it was probably the dumbest thing Castiel had ever heard of. Why not just end the week on their Tuesday classes since it was, you know, a Tuesday? No professors really seemed to have an answer to that, all of them stating that they’d petitioned to get rid of the asinine day for years.

The university would be closing housing on Wednesday so that all staff could go home and enjoy the holidays. Since Gabe was opening the store around six in the evening on Thanksgiving to keep up with the ever-expanding-into-Thursday Black Friday madness, and as the manager had to be there several hours early to count the register and take care of managerial things, he wasn’t going to participate in the holiday that year. And since neither Gabe nor Cas were exactly welcome back home, Cas had no Thanksgiving plans. He thought about just staying on Gabe’s couch the whole weekend and fix himself a turkey sandwich, but the idea sounded both depressing and lackluster.

“What’re you doing for Thanksgiving?” Dean asked conversationally as the two of them packed after class.

“Uh, nothing really. Gabe’s working and I’m not going home to see the rest of my family so-”

“Nothing? You’re doing nothing for Thanksgiving?” Dean asked, sounding slightly appalled.

“Um, no…” Cas said, as he zipped up his suitcase. “Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just… You have to do something for Thanksgiving. I mean, it’s Thanksgiving!”

“Well I’m not…” Cas said, picking up his luggage from the bed.

“Well,” Dean said, doing the same. “You are now.”

“What?” Cas asked, looking at Dean with a dumbfounded expression.

“You heard me,” Dean said, looking back at his friend. “You’re doing Thanksgiving with us this year. End of story.”

“Dean… Are you sure your parents won’t mind having one more person? I know Jo-”

“What about Jo?” Dean asked, looking confused. “She’s doing Thanksgiving with her parents.”

“Oh, I figured since you two were…” Cas trailed off when he noticed Dean’s raised eyebrow.

“Since we’re what?”

“Well… aren’t you dating?” Cas asked, suddenly confused himself.

To his surprise, Dean burst out laughing. “No, Cas. I’m not dating Jo.”

To be continued...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13196649/chapters/30685923

#all-american boy #destiel #fanfiction #fanfic #college au #university au #chapter 4 #AO3

[radishface]

Scientific Methods | Chapter 3: Hypothesis

You’re a showman, responding to every context, every input, sensitive to your surroundings beyond belief. But if you’re a hyperactive element that sets off at first contact, that must make Niel a noble gas. No wonder they call him King.

Read on AO3 ➡

________________________

It’s 2am. Early bedtime, all things considered. Some of the guys are still up in your room. You’re doodling away at your Mnet journal. With your right brain, you’re writing something sappy that they can use for broadcast later. Your left brain, in the meantime, is embarking on a voyage of discovery.

So, how would it happen?

Option one. After five minutes of excruciating silence at the podium, Boa reveals that “Never” Team wins (as it should), and that Ong Seongwoo has garnered the most votes and is now center of Wanna One forever.

So. “Never” Team has placed first. Cheers will erupt. Dongho will look alternatingly bitter and happy. Kenta’s face will be grey. And Daniel will turn around and be happy for you. He’ll be clapping and grinning and generally just so happy for you because let’s face it, you’re still good friends even through this competitive seduction playacting thing that’s suddenly hit your relationship like a strong gust of wind on the side of a sailboat.

You close your eyes, convulsed by a sudden realization: Niel doesn’t show any other expressions other than “sexy” and “outrageously happy.” That’s why he’s on top of this whole Produce 101 gambit. That’s it. Niel is a fucking adorable one-trick pony and the human equivalent of an endless supply of MDMA. Daniel is reliable and stable and happy and the nation loves him because he makes them sane.

There. You’ve said it. Bring on the hate mail.

Daniel must have grown up well. His mom must love him without being overly attached. His dad must be involved just enough. Nobody died in a strange or off-putting way during Niel’s formative childhood years. The most trauma he had was being bullied at school for looking like an awkward teenager, but who hasn’t experienced that? Niel grew up lower middle class, with low expectations of life. Like, if he dropped out of the rankings tomorrow he’d be bummed, but he’d get on with it.

Ugh. If you dropped out of the rankings tomorrow, you would be pretty devastated. You might not go full Daehwi-level suicidal princess of angst, but you’ll have a chip on your shoulder for a good while.

Dear God. You hope you can win a spot in the final 11 and keep your innocence intact. You need that for this whole thing to work. Or at least, at least hopefully you won’t suffer any major tragedies until you’re in your late twenties. Small tragedies are fine.

Niel is so different, not just from you, but from 90% of all the other queens of angst on this show. Niel is weirdly well-adjusted in a fucked up industry, and that’s probably why you’re so deeply drawn to one another. You’re a little bit wrong in the head. That’s why Niel, with his deeply boring inner life that’s 100% sunshine and ponies, likes you. Niel doesn’t understand it, but you’re the one who connects him to a greater intensity of life. He might be a one-trick pony right now, but he’s thirsty to learn a few more tricks. And boy howdy, you’ve seen the pony learn.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Niel, the nation’s gummy ball of sunshine, wants you to cut through it and expose his core. He’s trusting you with this. He invited you over for soju and tried to get you drunk. He wanted you to do something. He’s interested. Okay. So maybe that’s what your mission in life is. To teach a one-trick pony a few tricks. Show him what’s possible. Ideally, without causing yourself any major PTSD in the process.

And if you don’t seduce him properly, you’re the one who’s really fucked. Because here’s the thing for Niel, this might just be an Interesting Thing, but not the Real Thing. He’s probably just playing around. Ong Seongwoo is a great guy and a funny guy but Ong Seongwoo might also just be a curiosity. Ong Seongwoo might only be Kang Daniel’s best friend as long as he’s good for shits and giggles.

If you don’t completely get in Daniel’s head properly, you’re the one who’s going to be hurt. Because you’re the one who actually loves him.

Ah.

An exquisite pain blooms from your heart. It radiates out of your chest and fills your limbs with a sweet-and-sour ache.

Deep breath. It’s fine. Enjoy it. You can handle love. Close your eyes and let it run through you.

Deep breath. It would be nice if he were here. Ongi. You asleep yet?.

Deep breath. Ongi, you don’t have to be funny all the time.

Deep breath. Relax, Ongi. I like you because you’re you.

Before your heart explodes, you take another deep breath. Okay. Work through this slowly. You have a few thought experiments to complete and it pays to be methodical. This is what your therapist taught you when your dad threw the 18th century Louis XVIII ottoman at the window when he found out that your mom was having an affair and you thought that all of you were going to die that night.

In times of emotional extremity, just go slow and think it through. It’ll never be as bad—or as good—as you think it will go. Being rational has never made falling in love any easier, but it’s the least you can do for yourself.  

So. Option one—

After winning with Never, you go out and celebrate with the team. You’ll all try to get Jonghyun and Minhyun drunk at the buldak joint around the corner but of course they’ll be far too responsible and Jaehwannie will take most of the soju instead. Flush with drunk feeling, he’ll start belting out songs or just straight up start screeching. Daehwi might even loosen up and join in on the noise, given they’ll finally be away from the cameras and Daehwi has been so fucking repressed lately it even makes Ong hurt.

Niel might want to meet up later, but likely he’ll be hanging out with the Open Up team.

And then—you’ll keep your promise and go on your way.

You’ve successfully eliminated your Feelings for people before, though they never got this far. And those feelings were never incubated in such intense environments. So you anticipate that eradicating your feelings for Daniel will be more difficult—but not impossible.

It’ll start with a regimen of Not Hanging Out with Daniel as much. You’ll have to find another buddy to occupy the time. Seonho might be interested in being your lackey, if you can tear him away from Minhyun. Seonho would also be a good fit 1) he’s in a good rank, so it won’t hurt your ratings, and 2) he’s the Kid.

You’ll have to start finding flaws in Daniel’s character. Scrutinizing everything about him. Becoming a little critical, a little dismissive. It’s going to harsh the mellow of your relationship, but some things have to be stressed in order to change. Only after this period of actively reframing can you get enough distance to look at the relationship in a different way, coming to rest as another travel-weary survivor in the bittersweet, heavy-hearted DMZ that is the Friend Zone.

Except.

Daniel might not get the hint. Peachly puppy that he is, he’ll probably come crawling back twice as hard when he catches a whiff of the boot he’s been given.

Wait. Realization: if you start ignoring Daniel, he’ll likely be more interested in you and whatever it was that you had to say.

Okay, let’s get the facts straight.

Fact: Daniel is remarkably persistent and optimistic.

Fact: You’ve intrigued him with your big potential reveal.

Fact: Daniel loves it when noonas play hard to get.

So basically, if Never team wins, it’ll force your haughty noona hand. That’ll drive Daniel insane.

One or two weeks of dramatic sexual tension later, Daniel will have broken your will to resist and there will be a confession of feelings accompanied by some heavy breathing. If Daniel’s breath doesn’t smell like fish, you might even kiss him.   

Option two—

Open Up team wins. Celebrations are planned. The 1-2 Punch Donkey Kang combo and rest of the team go out for hotpot.

While they’re out, you’ll send for your dad’s entry-level Mercedes C300. You’ll make Uncle Butler vacate said car and walk back empty-handed to the Ong family estate. Sorry, Uncle Butler.

Around midnight, Open Up team will return to the dorms. You will send a text to Daniel instructing him to meet you at the parking lot behind Studio C.

Daniel will arrive at your dad’s Mercedes C300 under the cover of nightfall. You will hold the door open for him.

But the seats are so warm?! Daniel will splutter in delight.

Yes, Niel. I took the personal liberty of making things more comfortable for you before you arrived.

You’ll drive the both of you to one of those remote highway turnoffs that overlook Seoul. You’ll start off the playlist with some classic American rock. Then some EDM. Which eventually becomes The Weeknd. The mood will be dark, sexy, and pulsating. That kind of lonely, humid, heavy, 4am feeling. Except it’s not lonely, because you’re both there.

Nice.

Your one hand is on the wheel and the other’s on the stick. Nevermind that the C300 is an auto. It looks cooler this way, and if there’s anything that gets through Niel’s thick head, it’s the visual.

Ah, important: you will be navigating this route from memory like an old school, route-memorizing badass, because Google Maps Lady would totally ruin the mood.

You will arrive at said remote highway turnoff after an hour or two of driving and admire the skyline while leaning against the hood of the C300. The rising sun will bathe Seoul in a wash of hazy pink and lavender. Giddy with exhaustion and good vibes on your gay trainee version of the classic K-celeb car date, you will both look at each other. Your eyes will drift down to his lips and his eyes, to yours. And then—

You’ll be nervous. Even though you prepared everything, you’ll still be nervous. Your heart on a stick, you’ll say, Hey, Niel.

He’ll look at you. He might have a heavy-lidded gaze, expectant. Or maybe he’ll look scared, but hopeful.  

I think it’s time for me to say that thing that I was supposed to say.

You will pause here for a really long time. To build suspense. To gather your courage.

But I’m not going to tell you.

Daniel might look surprised. The faintest edge of disappointment might creep into his face.

This is when you’ll move in closer to him and put your hand on his neck. He’ll be caught. His breath will hitch in his throat that way. You’ll run your thumb over his pulse and find it jumping. And you’ll finish what you were about to say.

I’m going to show you.

And then, if Daniel’s breath doesn’t smell like fish, you might kiss him.

You sigh in awe. Whoa. That’s good. That’s actually pretty good.

Okay. Option three—

“It’s late, Seongwoo.“ Jonghyun says sleepily from across the room. “Go to sleep.”

“Almost there,” you say, and take your pen to your trainee journal.

Dear our Lord up in Heaven, you write.

Hi it’s me, your humble servant. So, now You have heard my three proposals. Let Thy Will be done.

Thanks,

Ong Seongwoo (not Hong Seongwoo)

#ongniel #ong seongwoo #daniel kang #produce 101 #wanna one #fanfic #ongniel fanfic

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Fuck. This is going to be really very long. And I am saying that knowing how long my previous rants were. Those were short compared to what’s about to come.

I absolutely, completely and unconditionally love Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is the singular most perfect TV show in existence. Nothing I have ever seen has lived up to it and I doubt anything I will ever see will live up to this show in its whole. This is my second favorite show on my top five list and it’s held that spot for the past fifteen years (which mind sound strange that I put the “most perfect TV show in existence” on spot two, but… I’m fully aware of all the flaws in my most favorite show and that I love that one with my nostalgia goggles on, but it will still always be my number one and not even Buffy’s perfection can kick it off the throne).

Now, just because I love something doesn’t mean I perceive it as flawless. I am fully aware of its flaws. But nothing is a hundred percent perfect.

I don’t even know where to start, but I think the beginning is the best.

What I hate about most supernatural shows is how “They are now thrown into this strange, new world with monsters… and immediately forget all about their non-supernatural friends” that literally every other show with supernatural elements does.

Not Buffy. When she first meets Willow and Xander, the two kind of only had each other and their buffy who gets killed off right at the start. And even then, Willow and Xander were the non-supernatural normal friends. And they became so important.

The fact that Buffy has this group of ordinary people behind her and really just human characters and that they back her up, that alone is awesome.

The Scooby Gang in general is awesome.

That is my favorite thing about the show. The relationships between the characters and how important they are. That the friendship never takes second place to the romance, like how many other shows like to write it. Because regardless of who was added to the plot and who left again, in the very end, it always came down to Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles and I will always cry at the show’s finale when it is just the four of them, parting ways to go into their very last battle, I mean fuck I’m crying right now just writing this because it was just so heavy with the emotions and the importance of their friendship.

They are the heart and backbone of this show and the show never forgot it.

Many shows forget themselves, they forget the values and beauty they once represented, the longer the show goes on. And Buffy never did. Sure, it lost itself in the middle - but we’ll get to that when we get to that - but it caught itself and never declined fully.

Buffy Summers is an amazing character. She’s a girly-girl who loves lollipops and talking about boys and whining. She’s the most badass female character ever written in TV who saves the world repeatedly and comes back from the dead just to do it again, who has been beaten down by life in the cruelest ways possible and still kept on surviving but never without the scars. Her struggles were never just shrugged off. They became themes that were being dealt with realistically. For fuck’s sake, we had a plotline about her working at a burger shop because yes, this is a show taking place in reality and bills are something that needs to be paid even if you save the world. She is not a perfect character, she made a lot of bad decisions along the way, but that is what makes her human. She is not some character created for an agenda to show that “girls can do anything boys can” and is thus forbidden from doing anything overly girls, as many writers mistakenly do when trying to write strong female characters, because a female is not powerful and strong just because she belittles women who like wearing pink and dressing prettily and who see “girl” as an insult. That is not how strong women work.

Women are complex characters, just like every character should be. They don’t have to solemnly be one way so they aren’t the other way. And Buffy is a beautiful example of the complexity of it all.

Willow Rosenberg is an amazing character. She’s one of the characters in TV that had the biggest character development. This shy, demure girl that became the most badass bitch around who could kick your ass into a parallel dimension with the blink of an eye. The fact that she was literally the first lesbian I ever saw only made her more amazing for me. You see, I started watching Buffy with season 4, which first premiered in Germany in 2001, because, well, I was 10 when I started watching that show since earlier was kind of a little too young in my mom’s eyes, but she’s been watching it for years at that point and I kept lingering in the doorway with pleading eyes because vampires and witches and werewolves, mom, please, until I got to watch it. Right in the season where Willow and Tara fell in love. And I was legitimately in awe, because the concept of two women falling in love was new to me. I never met a real life lesbian before and on TV, the highest of their feelings were Will & Grace with the gays, but lesbians? Never seen that before. It was amazing for me.

And I will forever be grateful that Willow and Tara were my first representation of lesbians that I met.

Xander Harris is an amazing characer. I mean, seriously, I could do this for nearly every character but I’ll only be doing it for the Big Three for the sake of time, okay? He was this fearful, dorky, kinda useless normal dude in the beginning, but he had such a strong backbone, he always knew he’d be there for his friends. And he always was. What made him so special was that he wasn’t special. He was just A Guy. Where Buffy was the Slayer and Willow became the most powerful witch in existence, he was just a normal guy. The original Matt Donovan and Stiles Stilinski and Simon Lewis (despite him turning into a vampire later on, I will still count him for this category). The quippy human best friend to the supernatural. But he adapted. He found his own place among the supernatural and his own way of prodicing for them, helping them.

It amuses me that actually, I kind of started watching this show with its weakest season. Season 4. But let’s start with the other seasons first (I mean, I warned you guys that this is gonna be long).

Buffy was my first high school TV show. All shows I had watched up to that point were family comedies like Married with Children and Full House. But this was the first real look into how American high schools work and I loved it. The first three seasons in itself are the best of Buffy. I’m not even able to pick one season as the best because I like the whole stretch of it.

The dynamics, the characters, the villains, the plots.

Cordelia Chase is - argh, I didn’t want to do this for every character, so I’ll keep it short - another amazing example at character development. From the shallow, air-headed Barbie to a strong ally and friend who fought with her head held high and I will never forget Angel for ruining her.

And okay, if I take a sentence for Cordelia, I can really, truly not skip Giles. Giles, who will forever be The Mentor. When I hear “mentor figure” or “father figure”, I will always first and foremost think of Giles. He was the father and guide to them all, but he was not the one strong pillar, he too had his struggles. It’s one of the things that made me love the second Percy Jackson movie because Anthony Stewart Head is who I pictured as Chiron when reading the books and it is the most perfect casting they could have made.

The first three seasons arched beautifully together, tying the struggles of the high school students turned demon hunters, the funny elements and self-awareness, the serious undertones.

The scene at graduation when the class gave Buffy an award for being Class Protector is one of my favorite TV moments, because this… this acknowledgment of “Yeah, we weren’t always there for you and we didn’t bother getting to know you, but we know you’re there and we know what you did for us” and honestly, I’m crying again, this is ridiculous.

They graduate from high school and then… life continues. Like. Life continues in a realistic way. They go to college, or not in Xander’s case. They struggle with what to do with their lives, they try to find their own paths in what I consider the most realistic portrait in TV. In others, it’s not just “Yup, they college. We’ll mention college every now and again, but it never interferes with the demon hunting” like with most others. Buffy struggles with college work and demon killing, Willow soaks it all up because it’s exactly her world, Xander doesn’t know what to do with it, Giles struggles with what to do with his life in general.

Still, I consider season 4 the weakest season because the Initiative was… It wasn’t used well enough. It appeared and then it kind of disappeared again and in this show where the lore and world-building are so rich and on-point, the Initiative was the one hit and miss they did. Not to mention, I don’t like zombies and Adam creeped me out and was the weirdest major Big Bad that they ever had in that show.

But it brought back Spike and made him a more complex character than just “Bad guy with bad attitude and insane girlfriend”.

Which is a good cue-in for the ships and love-stories, actually.

Buffy is and perhaps will always be the only franchise where the love-triangle clicks for me. Angel/Buffy? Yes. Oh god, what a beautiful, tragic love-story, please give me more of them, OTP all the way. Spike/Buffy? Oh, the pain but they are so good for them and when he’s good, he’s the best, please give me more of them, OTP all the way.

I literally can not decide on who to ship her with. With most love-triangles, I either do not care about both options, or I want to cross the badly written female out of the equation and want to dive right into the slash fiction, or there’s only one good pairing in the options anyway.

The tragicly ironic thing is that for Willow, I have and always will ship her most with Oz though. Willow and Oz were that perfect soft warm ship for me, when I got to finally watch the first three seasons as the reruns hit Germany.

Willow and Tara, while beautiful at times, were also very tragic. The way Willow lied to Tara and manipulated her was just so unhealthy. I do love them together, I just think that I love Oz and Willow a bit more.

Xander is a mess. Like. Seriously. Him and Cordelia. Him and Anya. I can not decide which one I like more in the end, but think that, at this point, it really does become clear that I can cut this show into two parts. The first three seasons of high school where Angel/Buffy, Xander/Cordelia and Oz/Willow are just all the yes, as well as the post graduation seasons where Spike/Buffy, Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara are just all the yes. Which really, truly fascinates me.

Because it’s really rare for a show to get me on board with its canon couples in general. This show does an amazing job on that too.

So, season 4 was kind of flawed in the way the Initiative wasn’t grounded enough in this world and how weak its endgame villain came off.

Season 5 brought the legit only thing about this show that I hate. Dawn Summers.

Urgh. It makes me shudder to just think about her. She’s such an awful and useless and stupid person. And yes, I’m saying person here, because “character” would blame it on the writing and make it sound like she’s a badly written character, which she is not. She was intended to be the annoying, dumb, useless little sister. Not every character can or has to be flawless or lovable. She’s just that… one that isn’t.

And she just becomes worse in season 6, honestly. She is such a self-centered brat that has no concept of the struggles of others. Like. Yes, I understand that she has problems and that she suffers too, but so does everyone and if someone doesn’t have time for her, she acts out. They just… They do have a lot on their plates, trying to save the world and keep you from being homeless, you know? Which, okay, was a solid portrayal of an angsty, bratty teen, I suppose, because teenagers, as I recall from my own time as one, are fascinatingly blind for the struggles of adults. Doesn’t make her less annoying though.

I take back what I said earlier, about not being able to pick a favorite season. Season 6 is my favorite season, which in itself is baffling. Normally, I pick one of the very early seasons of a show because they keep declining afterward until they crash and burn.

Season 6 did the exact opposite of what other shows do. Where other shows feel the need to top it all off, go wilder and broader and more brutal and bigger enemies until it becomes an unrealistic mess, this one just…

Three human boys.

That’s the enemy of the season. Just three stupid idiots who play pranks on the good guys, for the most part. And it was the perfect choice, because instead of having to deal with those major Big Bads, we get the chance to deal with the characters. The one thing I keep complaining about in other shows, how they’re too overcrowded with plot to even give the characters any time to deal with stuff or interact.

Buffy did it.

They stepped back from the Big Bad in favor of dealing with the bigger issues. Dawn being not a real human and not dealing well with that. Buffy having died and being brought back. Willow becoming addicted to magic. Xander… completely fucking up the best thing in his life.

We have character plots in this season.

Character plots that still end in a big battle of epic proportions when Willow literally becomes a Dark Witch powerful enough to destroy the world. But instead of it being some epic battle, it’s one of the… quietest fights ever and it’s brought home in such a beautiful way because it’s about grief and loss and pain and love.

And those. Those are the moments that make Buffy the most perfect TV show to me. It never loses its humanity. Maybe the most emotional scene in all of this show happened in season 5, when Joyce Summers died and Anya talked about her death, about the concept of death. That will never cease to make me cry.

And season 7 was the perfect ending. The way it rounded things up, it brought every single thing full circle, all the way to that above mentioned scene of Giles, Buffy, Willow and Xander parting ways before the very final battle, among all the loudness of everyone, it is brought to the forefront one last time that it is them.

The way they solved the whole Slayer thing, the Big Bad they chose for their final season, the development. Nathan Fillion as one of the creepiest bad guys ever. The fact that, even after all those seasons already, Buffy still had a struggle, had to prove herself.

I have one or two major bones to pick with it, because I hated when the group decided “Lol, nope, we don’t need you, Buffy”… that broke my heart. It breaks my heart every single time I watch it because even her friends tell her they need a break from her. I mean, I love how she found safety and support in Spike’s arms after that scene, but that it happened at all and that after things of course go wrong without Buffy, they all come crawling back… it makes me angry. It was important to bring them all as a team together, but to me it will always feel OoC coming from those she had fought alongside with for seven years, those who should always have her back who always did have her back.

And, when talking about bones to pick, aside from weak season 4 and Dawn Summers, there’s just one more major thing that I have a problem with.

Hank Summers. For those who forgot because he’s literally only been in two episodes, that’s Buffy’s dad. Because Buffy has a father. The “(half-)orphan”-trope is very overused, but I genuinely think this show would have benefitted from it.

Hank Summers does nothing. Not even when his ex-wife dies and his teenage daughter and barely-above-twenty daughter are left all on their own. He doesn’t pitch in with money, he doesn’t visit, he doesn’t even think about taking Dawn in and taking care of her himself.

I mean. Same as with Dawn, it can just be said that he is a Bad Person and a Seriously Bad Dad, but… Give me a break, Buffy deserved better than that. Having him be dead would really have been better, especially when Joyce dies and he just… “Nope, no interest in those kids”.

And on that note, let me add Faith (who I accidentally forgot about before). She’s... probably the most complex character, because it’s easy to hate her, but it’s also kind of easy to love her. She’s definitely the most flawed character and that’s what makes her good. Because she’s bad. She gets the same powers as Buffy, but unlike other Slayers, she gets morally corrupted. But she also finds her way again. She’s a badass bitch and she definitely brought something new to the table. I loved how flawed she was, because she was not a good person, but when needed, she was one of the good guys. They never pretended to turn her around into a good person though, she always stayed true to herself.

The reason I’m adding her here is because I feel like she messes up the mythology a little. Part of me really loved how they brought in Kendra after Buffy died, because “When the Slayer dies, another Slayer awakens” and that they remembered to keep with that when Kendra died. But after that, this kind of really fell apart and is one of the biggest plot-holes to the show, in my eyes.

Buffy died three times. But only her first death awakened a new Slayer. Now, you can argue that with that, the mantle was passed on, but... When Buffy came back from the dead, she still had her Slayer abilities. She was still the Slayer, she wasn’t suddenly back to being the normal girl she was before she turned sixteen and became the Slayer. So technically, considering she was still the Slayer, her other deaths should have also passed on the mantle and thus awoken two more Slayers.

Not to mention... in the history of Slayers, Buffy was the first one to be brought back to life? I always found that hard to believe. No one ever used CPR or magic on a Slayer before? I doubt it.

So in this very rich and grounded lore and mythology, I have a problem with “We got Kendra and then we got Faith and... we don’t bother explaining why we never got any additional Slayers”.

Now, as we conclude this, let me wrap up what exactly makes Buffy the Vampire Slayer the most perfect TV show to me.

1.) The superb writing.

Not just the plot as I laid it out above, the way they knew when to step back and when to give character plotlines instead of big and loud action plots. Simply the dialogues alone. This show holds up. It’s a time-capsule of the 90s, sure, but its writing and dialogues are still funny, emotional, heavy, with exactly the right words chosen. The writing on this show is in every aspect overwhelmingly brilliant.

2.) The characters.

They’re individual, they’re well-developed, they have their own plots and relationships and they are all important, not just the titular character. It inverted tropes with its characters, it managed to put strong female characters out there without having “being a strong female character” be their only and defining character trades.

3.) The story.

Okay, this is technically part of the writing too, but I think it deserves its special shout-out. Because this show has a consistent lore where not all of a sudden all the time something new is shoehorned in and retconned in and where it comes apart by the seams the more seasons it has because you notice the writers didn’t think ahead so far. No, this world is fleshed out, its lore is established and as it is. It’s consistent.

Yes, it’s not flawless, but damn it’s the closest to flawless that I’ve ever seen.

#ask me a show and I shall rant #TV Rants #Fandom Rants #Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Buffy is basically perfect #Joss Whedon is essentially a genius #We need more strong female characters like Buffy #mystoryandotherrandomthoughts

[professor-riddikulus]

Craigslist - Ch 2

Summary: James and Sirius are looking for a roommate for their Los Angeles house - Remus has just moved from Dublin needs a place to rent while he goes to graduate school. One Craigslist ad later, the three of them find themselves living together and shit is bound to get complicated. Featuring trans Remus and the wonder of Wolfstar.

Author’s Note: I know it has been a long time friends, but I’m back! Hooray summer! I hope to be updating this more regularly now that all those pesky seminar papers are completed. I am sorry for what I assume is going to be the ridiculousness of this chapter. As you probably know, Sirius cannot be contained. Anyway, enjoy! 

You can also read this story on FF.net or Ao3 if your heart desires

It took an hour for Sirius to take a shower and get ready, during which time Padfoot and I watched several episodes of some cracked-out show called The Amazing World of Gumball and I did the cereal dishes that Sirius had left behind. He came jauntily down the stairs, hair tied back and still damp, a loose black muscle tank on that showed too much of his strong tattooed arms, too much of his lean muscled torso. I tried not to stare. I probably failed miserably because he looked pleased with himself.

“I assume,” he said flipping his keys from one hand to another, “that we're not taking the bike?”

“Your motorbike? Nah I don't particularly feel like dying this afternoon.”

He made a noise somewhere between a snicker and an indignant huff.

“Fine the car then. But I warn you, it's a few years old.”

I, of course, assumed that he meant a few years old like Lily meant a few years old when she talked about her 10 year old crappy Prius. What he actually meant was a black Mercedes S-Class that probably cost more than four years of my graduate stipend and that was exactly 3 years old. It was so beautiful that I was actually nervous to sit in the seat. Opulence in most forms makes me uncomfortable -- my parents always made a tidy living but I was always the kid putting away coins for a rainy day. The responsible one. Some people are built to be pampered, can adjust to being treated like kings, to throwing caution to the wind. I never felt comfortable indulging -- instead I was the kid who didn’t want anyone to look at him when they sang a the happy birthday song. It isn’t shyness not really, it’s well, wanting to fly under the radar I suppose. Showing off what you have draws attention.

I just looked at Sirius and I knew this wasn’t him. He stood taller than me but his posture was proud. He wasn’t afraid to take up space, wasn’t afraid to be noticed. He had no idea that taking up that space, taking up oxygen, meant taking it from someone else. I was stiff and trying not to move my dirty shoes too much on the carpet, Sirius on the other hand was completely at ease, his ripped skinny jeans clashing with the dark brown leather of the seats. He was leaned back, reclined like his body itself was used to luxury. Watching him driving the 5 with his sunglasses on, singing along to some mindless pop tune, I had the distinct feeling that Los Angeles was not going to be anything like I expected. Sure they said it was a town for movie stars, but it’s difficult to understand how value works here. Some people have so much they don’t even notice how much they have. Sirius certainly didn’t. This guy, this house, it wasn't like being in another country. I have been to France once, and nobody there even spoke the language that I spoke, yet I still felt like less of an alien. How rich was this guy?

I looked down at my Target t-shirt, one that Lily and I had picked out only a few days before. It was my favorite, but next to the glamour of the car, the palm trees, and the guy sitting next to me I felt distinctly shabby. It wasn’t like I was usually fashion-forward. I do my best to stay at least a bit put together but I’m not a trend-setter. I’m sure his pants cost the same as my whole outfit. Probably more, actually. I tried to shake myself, there was no reason to be ashamed, and in any case he was the one being stupid by buying such an expensive car. I sighed, if I had that kind of money, even a quarter of that kind of money, there are so many other things I’d be doing with it. I’d be giving back to the community, I’d be working for a nonprofit, I’d be paying off my student loans. I’d be doing something, anything, other than buying a car that might be the price of a house anywhere else. The very thought of it made my nerves feel frayed. I was going to be living around this kind of wealth, benefitting from it even.

I looked over at Sirius, whose grin slipped a bit at what must have been a concerned or frustrated look on my face but which he quickly replaced the grin. Perhaps he didn’t want me to see his concern?

“You don’t like Drake? We can change the radio to something else?”

“Don’t worry mate, I’m good. Your car is really something.”

“Yeah it’s pretty okay. I bought it as a graduation present to myself.”

“Oh? Where did you do your undergraduate degree?”

“James and I went to USC together, that’s where you’re going, right?”

“Yeah,” I grinned to myself, I hadn’t even considered that Sirius had gone to college at all somehow, but if he did, USC didn’t surprise me. Lily told me that it had a bit of a reputation for being a school for rich American kids, especially west coast kids -- those Orange County, Beverly Hills, Malibu, rich kids -- someone like Sirius I guess, “I guess you’ll have to show me around at some point.”

“You’ll figure it out quick, s’not a big campus.”

I paused, weighing my options a bit. I chewed the inside of my lip. You’re being a coward Remus Lupin. He’s not going to think anything. “So,” I let the word hang in the air a bit, “do they have, erm, a big queer community there? Like among the undergraduates at least?”

Sirius smirked at me, “Are we gonna have that talk?”

I panicked, “What? What talk?!”

“I mean the, ‘oh-here’s-how-I-came-out’ talk. The ‘I’m-gay-you’re-gay’ talk. The ‘do-you-have-a-boyfriend’ talk.”

“I see no reason why we have to. All that is pretty obvious isn’t it?” I picked at the stray thread sticking out from the knee of my jeans but I could feel him looking back and forth from the road to me, trying to catch my eyes. I was embarrassed for a reason I couldn’t quite explain, sweating a bit, and not because of the heat. He looked at me like he was trying to read me, like he was regarding a particularly interesting painting and he wanted to examine the individual brush strokes. I felt on display under such scrutiny, exposed even, but I forced my eyes back up to his. He wasn’t going to see me squirm. I wasn’t going to let him affect me. He was just some spoiled kid from southern California. I was going to hold my own.

Sirius smiled, “Maybe not that last one. You haven’t picked up some all-American boy, swooned by the lilting accent of Mother Ireland?”

“Excuse me?” I laughed so hard at this abrupt shift that I needed a minute to compose myself, “What even are you?”

“I told you, wolfboy, I’m a star.”

“You’re something, that’s for sure.”

“Something amazing. It’s okay, I understand, words fail you.”

I shook my head at this, how I was supposed to continue the conversation after that, I had no idea. I had the distinct feeling that what was happening was something of a face off. He was taking the measure of me, wanted to see if I was going to keep up with him. It was the same feeling that I had when he fired his ‘interview’ questions at me. It was like dealing with a toddler that wanted to see how far he could push the rules. Luckily, I’m stubborn, and I’ve always loved a challenge. When I didn’t say anything, Sirius didn’t seem to have a hard time filling the void. He probably would have talked to the empty seat if I hadn’t been there.

“Yeah, it’s badass that you’re a big queer though. I was getting annoyed being the only rainbow unicorn in the house. Now we finally outnumber James and his dirty fucking heterosexuality.”

I laughed a little, “Yeah. In case he tries to convert us, strength in numbers and all that.”

“Oh don’t worry, he’s way beyond that. Literally all our friends are queer, he always complains there’s never anyone for him to date because all our female friends are lezzies. Dude that reminds me, we should definitely have a pool party to welcome you to the family.”

Literally anything but a pool party. Pool parties meant swimming which meant swimwear and I didn’t think we were going to be at that point for quite a while, if at all, really.

“I dunno, maybe in a little bit when I get settled and get the furniture built and everything.”

Sirius shrugged and ran a hand along the top of his head, pushing back the strands of dark hair that had fallen around his face, I think it was the first time that I hadn’t seen him smiling and I wondered if I had wounded him, “Yeah, ‘course. Whatever you want.”

We pulled up to the Ikea in Burbank and parked, and Sirius looked at me, wide-eyed and stunned. “Don’t fuck with me Remus, this…” he gestured to the giant blue and yellow building in front of us that was the biggest one I’d ever seen, “this is a fucking furniture store?! It looks like several goddamn airplane hangers put together.”

“Just you wait,” I told him unbuckling my seatbelt, “I have a feeling you’re going to lose it.”

I was not wrong.

“This is fucking NUTS!” Sirius leaned dangerously far over the escalator as we took it up to the second floor to start making our way through the maze of mock rooms that made up the Ikea showroom. I pulled on the back of his shirt, trying not to be distracted by the amount of tan skin this action revealed.

“You’re going to kill yourself. God Sirius don’t lean that far over.”

“Okay Dad sorry.” Sirius snickered but he stopped leaning over the escalator.

When we got to the top Sirius’ eyes lit up as he surveyed the floor full of mock-rooms and tiny apartments. “YOU COULD LIVE HERE!” He nearly ran to the first room, threw himself on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. I rolled my eyes and picked up a pencil and pad to record the numbers of the furniture. When I walked over to Sirius he was wiggling his feet and looking incredibly pleased.

“It’s like a goddamn Swedish Disneyland dude.”

I laughed, “And like Disneyland, we’ve got a long way to go, you can’t spend ten minutes sitting on every couch along the way.”

“This one is comfy though, you should get it.”

I turned over the ticket and laughed, “No way, it’s almost two thousand dollars.”

Sirius’ eyes got, if possible, even wider, “That’s it?! Dude that’s hella cheap.”

“Not at Ikea Sirius, you’ve got a lot to learn.”

“It gets cheaper?”

“Jesus you’re spoiled aren’t you?”

“Yeah well, I’m amazing so…”

“You’ve got to be kidding with me.”

Sirius looked me dead in the eyes from his slouched perch on the couch, “Absolutely not, I’m completely Sirius.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” I said exasperatedly, throwing up my hands a bit dramatically and trying to hide a smile, “I’m leaving your punny ass here.” I didn’t want to laugh but something about his mix of monetary ignorance and over-the-top childish antics meant that I couldn’t help it. You are not supposed to find him funny. He is a complete wank. He wants you to laugh, wants the attention. Don’t you fall for it. I wasn’t going to be just another sad sack who gave Sirius Black attention, even if I wanted to be. I started walking away towards the next room, which had a smaller sofa with shelves built into the side and back that was a bit more my style.

Sirius jogged to catch up with me and threw an arm around my shoulders, he was a few inches taller than me with a much longer torso and so his arm fit comfortably there. He smelled good, like rain and wood and cigarette smoke. “No one ever leaves my ass Lupin.”

“This is going to be a long day if you don’t focus and help me pick out furniture.”

“Okay,” he said with mock composure, “I promise to be on my best behavior.”

His best behavior it turned out, involved pretending that each room was part of his house, picking up everything that wasn’t tied down, arguing with me about the color of the upholstery, trying to wear curtains like a toga, spinning around on the desk chairs, forcing me to lay next to him on every mattress, climbing through (and getting stuck in) the children's tunnel, and generally making a fool of himself. I tried to contain the damage, shooting apologizing looks at passerby and generally steering him away from irate employees but it was difficult to try to pretend to be stern with him when I was snorting with laughter. When I pointed out that people were staring, he just responded shrugging and laughing “of course they’re staring, we’re gorgeous”. He was an idiot for sure, but you had to admire him for his general lack of fucks.   

“I can’t afford that one, Black!” Sirius was sitting on the edge of one of the nicer beds in the showroom. This one was a mid tone warm wood with a dark blue upholstered headboard that looked like a lovely place to lean back on while reading a book. I really did like it, and so arguing with Sirius about why I wasn’t going to buy it was proving to be difficult.

“Remus it is only $499. And it’s the bed! It is the literal centerpiece of your life, sleeping, watching TV, fuck--”

“OKAY OKAY shut up oh my god those people are giving us the boss eyes.” I cut him off as a posh looking couple with a little girl hastily pulled her away from the madman and his terrible language, “Look Sirius I have to buy a whole bedroom and living room/office I can’t get the exact one I want of everything.”

“I’m just saying that other bed you wrote down looks like it would break if you were using it properly.” He had a point here, but the metal one was $350 less and that was a large amount of money for some fake wood.

I laughed and felt my cheeks getting hot, “I don’t think we have to worry about me using it for anything other than sleeping.”

“Please. You’re going to get so much fucking play in Los Angeles dude. You’re fucking cute.”

“Okay but we were talking about the bed.”

“Ahhhh,” Sirius looked satisfied with himself, one hand on his hip, “You can’t take a compliment can you?”

I was absolutely bright red at this point. I felt like his eyes were appraising me. I knew that look, I’d seen it before. “Sirius focus, the bed.”

“Well I still say you gotta splurge on the bed,” he said and he started cracking up, “Oh my GOD that sounded SO WRONG!” Then he laugh-snorted so loudly that across the aisle a woman started giggling. I laughed so hard I was crying and had to sit down next to him on the bed. It was several minutes before the two of us even calmed down enough to speak to one another and I was wiping the tears from my eyes with the back of my arm.

“Okay Lupin, I’m buying the bed.”

“What? You are not.”

“We’re roomies now right? Family. And I fuckin’ like you.”

“I mean I like you too so far--”

“So far? Fuck the hell off.” He looked actually offended so I tried once again to redirect his attention to the task at hand.

“I just mean it’s $500 Sirius. I can’t accept that, we barely know each other.”

“Just let me buy you a house warming gift. Stop making such a big fucking deal over it. It’s just money.”

“I can’t Sirius. It’s just too much money.”

“Okay well I’m buying this bed because the headboard is dope and I know you like it a ton more than the other one, AND because I’ve jumped on it and know it’s sturdy enough,” And the cheeky bastard winked at me again, “So if you buy that other shitty $150 one you’ll have two beds and I know that back house is spacious but I don’t think two queen beds would fit in it.”

What was I going to say? I could already tell by the way that he drew himself up when he said it, the way his tone shifted to all-business, (and I turned out to be right) that Sirius wasn’t the kind of person who takes no for an answer. He gave orders like someone that was used to having those orders obeyed. Someone who had heard ‘yes’ a few too many times. When he gets his mind stuck on something there’s no moving him. So I sighed and smiled at him.

“Okay. Thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

He stood, took the pencil from my hand and wrote down the number of the new bed on the pad that already had a long list of the other furniture I was buying. “Thank you will do, Lupin. Now let’s go get the last few things, you told me there’s ice cream at the end of this and I am all about that.”

He complained all the way through picking out rugs and curtains and throw pillows (I really like throw pillows okay?) but when we got to actually picking up all the boxes from the warehouse the biggest problem I had was trying not to just stand there and watch him load cart after cart with heavy boxes. Give me a break, yeah? He was showing a lot of skin and I’m on a lot of testosterone. Together we wheeled the loaded carts to the delivery counter (and went back for two more). A little more than $3,500 later, I had a bed, couch, bedside table, desk, two chairs, two rugs, coffee table, lights, shelves, TV stand, dresser, sheets and towels, comforter, curtains, throw pillows, a large cactus Sirius was calling “the scary phallus”, and even a warm blanket that reminded me of one of my favorite old jumpers. I had only spend so much money at once one other time in my life, when I bought a shitty old car my first year of uni from a kid that I had a crush on at the time. The car worked out, the crush...not so much.

I treated Sirius to an ice cream, which I figured was less than he deserved after spending five hours with me in Ikea and buying me a bed. But it was the most that he’d accept. I didn’t know what else to do. But he seemed happy enough, he did flush a bit red when I wouldn’t stop thanking him, so I guess he appreciated it even if he told me to “shut the actual fuck up”. Somehow he was still full of energy even after lifting hundreds of pounds of furniture and walking all over the certifiably biggest Ikea in the country. If I had been worried about how nice his car was on the way there, I worried less on the way back, leaning back into the incredibly soft seats and putting my head back felt like a reward after carting box after box to the delivery desk.

Sirius looked over and grinned, “Big day huh?”

I nodded, “I’m glad I only have one day until the mattress shows up, today has been a lot. The moving and the shopping and your bolloxology.”

“Um excuse me?” He laughed, “What the actual fuck did you just call me?”

“Bolloxology, you know, messing about. Your BS.”

“Holy fuck that is a ridiculous word.”

“You’re a ridiculous word.”

“Oh fantastic comeback, real smart. I can see why they let you into a PhD program.”

“You are such a muppet, and yes before you ask it means you’re an idiot.”

Sirius grinned, I had the distinct impression that he took most insults as if they were compliments -- a trait which made him infinitely charming, and infinitely frustrating at the same time. He turned up the radio and some alternative rock band was playing. As we sat quietly in traffic on the 5, the sun started to set, and it glinted deep red off the building windows, bathing the car in a warm light. It felt like we were glowing, the windows rolled down, the air just a touch stagnant between the hot cars. I felt a pang of homesickness. It was so different from the cloudy, misty-cool nights of Dublin, the old stone streets, the bustle of Grafton, the smell of the grass and trees in the park across from my favorite pub. I missed my warm jumpers with the permanent smell of tea clinging to them, the cigarette smoke hanging lazily in the air around the corner shop, proper chocolate. I missed stumbling out of The George at 3am scuttered as fuck all with my mates Sean and Frankie after a drag show and a heavy drinking session.  

As excited as I was about the new furniture, the new graduate program, the new friends and colleagues, the new roommates even, there was something sad about the perfect California horizon reflecting the last glimpses of the day. Something huge and daunting about the hot city that made me feel a bit lost, as if between the picture perfect landscape and the rubbish in the gutter there was a facade that frightened and excited me in equal measure. It was all just so big. And I was holding on to a runaway train -- Los Angeles felt like a million miles away from home. This was what it felt like, I thought a bit ruefully, to be homesick. This was also what it felt like to make something of yourself.

We arrived back at the house when it was dark, after stopping to pick up food for a whiny James who was bored without Sirius around to annoy him. When we pulled up to the house I smiled, I still could not believe that somehow I’d gotten a spot in this mansion. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for them to find out who I was -- emphasis on the was -- but maybe they were the good sort. Maybe…

Sirius opened the door, I didn’t have a key to the front house yet, and Padfoot came bounding out. James, hair wild, glasses halfway down his nose, was sitting on the couch in front of Comedy Central working on his laptop. He lit up when he saw Sirius which I thought was sweet until--

“FOOD!” He exclaimed gleefully. “Fucking finally! Oh god is that Golden Hen?! Yesssss.”

Sirius and I passed him several containers of Chinese food and he ate faster than I thought was humanly possible. How he could eat the amount meant for a medium sized family and be as thin as he was I have no idea. I've since learned that James is a human garbage can and his jittery, always-in-motion body consumes calories at an unbelievable rate. Some guys get all the luck.

“How did it go at Ikea?” He asked through a mouth of vegetable fried rice.

“I think it was quite an education for Sirius.”

“Did you know they have ICE CREAM there dude?! It's amazing it's huge and they have all these tiny apartments in it and they sell like pots and pans for like five dollars!”

“Yeah,” James replied nonchalantly, digging through a new container of food, “I went with the Dork when she and Marlene got their new place.”

“I saw their couch!”

“Sorry, who?” I looked confusedly from one loudly chewing roommate to the other.

“Oh!” Sirius dropped the spring roll he was holding. “James we should have them over tomorrow when Wolfram here has all his furniture delivered.” The conversation was getting further and further from something that I could track, it was like they were speaking their own language.

“Sorry,” I said, wincing at the apology, “but who are we talking about, and erm...did you just call me Wolfram?”

Sirius shrugged but there was a slyness to his eyes. “Marls and the Dork--”

But James cut in, “Marlene and Dorcas are our lesbian friends. Marlene went to high school with Sirius and I, and she picked up a girlfriend up in Berkeley. Marlene and Sirius used to date before they both caught the gay so they’re still weirdly in love with one another.”

Sirius shrugged again, “She’s a fucking bombshell, who wouldn’t be fond of her?”

“I certainly am, too bad she’s given up guys.”

I laughed at James, “Not for her, statistically women who have sex with women have way more orgasms.”

James looked affronted, “Okay, listen to PhD over here. But I’ll have you know, I’m a giver.”

“Where you stick your dick is neither here nor there --” Sirius started, but I cut him off.

“Yeah, apparently it’s nowhere at all.”

James threw a fortune cookie at me but I dodged left quickly enough that it merely hit the couch behind me. Sirius laughed so hard that he almost spilt his beer, “Well he’s got you figured out hasn’t he?”

James looked at him through narrowed eyes but said nothing so Sirius eventually lapsed into a teary-eyed silence. “Okay okay, but for real Marlene and Dorcas should come over tomorrow cause we can all build Remus’ furniture together. We were going to plan a party to welcome Remus to the family but maybe just do this on the DL. Don’t want to scare him too much.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” The last thing I needed was to be the center of attention. I wasn’t even adjusted to the two guys I had moved in with. Now I had to worry about impressing their friends? And I hadn’t had a moment to myself. I really thought I’d be building by myself, maybe some Netflix on my computer. But what was I supposed to say? They wanted to be nice. They wanted to make an effort. Come on Remus. You can’t move all the way to America and then not make a fucking effort to be social.

“I mean we don’t have to do anything dude. We’re doing this because you seem cool and we like to have a good time.” James grinned and ran a hand through his hair which left a piece of rice along his temple. I decided not to point this out but instead grinned right back at him. I caught Sirius’ eye who smiled conspiratorially at me, he’d clearly seen James make a mess of himself too. I knew immediately that he was also planning to let James sit there like a tool rather than say anything.

“So Marlene and Dorcas won’t mind helping? It is a lot of work.”

“Nah,” Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes away from the rice in James’ hair, he was not exactly the best at keeping a straight face but perhaps Sirius staring weirdly at him was routine because James seemed not to notice, “They’re lesbians they’re good at building stuff you know.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m going to text Lily too?”

James lit up like a fucking ray of sunshine. I almost instantly regretted suggesting it. Things always get complicated when your mates want to bone one another, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to be totally outnumbered with people that I didn’t know and since I’d moved to Los Angeles, Lily was the only person I’d met from abroad. Sure she was from England, but you have to take what you can get when no one in America can make a decent cup of tea.

Sirius nodded, “I mean the more hands the easier it’ll be right? We can do beer and pizza and maybe even swim a bit.”

“I’m already texting the girls.” James was tapping madly at his phone.

That night, after stuffing my face with Chinese food with James and Sirius, I padded upstairs to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms after James absolutely refused to let me spend the night on the sofa. Despite myself I think I was already starting to like the two idiots. It was weird, I’d never had cis guy mates in Ireland that would stick around for very long. Something about my having a vagina. Sure there were lads that would return my texts periodically, or that were good for a pint or two. I don’t know what made them scare so easily -- I was still the same guy. I’d been lucky, I’d been able to pass as a (perhaps effeminate) guy for awhile even before I started testosterone. But it was always the same once they found out -- the queers, the ones that had wanted to fuck me, or to keep me around to see if they wanted to fuck me, when they found out that I lacked something they liked, that was enough reason to abandon ship. The straights, the ones that were good for a night out on the piss or that didn’t mind me when I was a winner for their team in football, they disappeared entirely. I was no longer one of the gang. Didn’t matter that the dosage I was on meant I had more testo in my system than some of them. I liked them, yeah, but I also didn’t want to get attached. Being attached, hoping for something more than a casual friendship with cis guys was like -- it was asking for heartbreak.

I waited until I heard the two of them head to bed before I stripped down to my boxer briefs. I lifted my arms and pulled my binder off slowly, peeling it away from my ribs and wincing. Too many hours in it today meant that I was probably going to feel it tomorrow. Even with the new ones I’d ordered there was always that inability to take a deep breath, the pull on the ribs that made you sore and sweaty after a long day in the thing. It was one thing in Dublin where it never got too hot, but here, where it seemingly never dipped under 70, adding an extra layer was tough. I touched my chest a bit and it was tender but I didn't think I'd have bruises. I thought about how James and Sirius had invited their friends over tomorrow and sighed. I probably wouldn't have much chance to go without the damn thing tomorrow either. Swimming? It was out of the question -- I was going to have to find a reason to pass.

I could have just told them when I came in for the interview. Lily never asked me why I didn’t even though she knew, for which I was grateful. I had been open with the department at USC, had even mentioned it in my entrance essay. I was working on trans and queer literature and film it wasn’t the most difficult puzzle to piece together. Somehow though, I just hadn’t been able to do it. I didn’t want to lose the chance at the room, and sure, I guess I liked them. Now it was as if I were keeping it from them. Every day that passed meant that I was going to get more attached to my new mansion, my new mates. It would be better to get it all out in the open now and find out if they were going to be phobic.

But now I’d ordered the furniture. It was coming tomorrow, and leaving was going to be a bit harder when I had a small apartment’s worth of furniture to move along with the boxes that were currently in the pool house. I ran my hands through my hair, trying not to let the fear that shot through me overwhelm me. Sirius was queer, he specifically asked for a queer roommate. It wasn’t going to matter. And anyway, there was no reason why they should find out.

#wolfstar #craigslist #sirius goes to ikea #it goes exactly how you would expect #marauder fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #fanfiction #trans remus #irish remus #american au #silverlake #los angeles #harry potter fanfiction #james potter #lily evans

[swimmmusic]

'My Sis Can Make Things Awkward, for That She is My Hero' In ‘Pulp’, Bukowski’s last book, the soggy protagonist Nick Belane laments that people are just getting dumber. That he can’t even find the will to acknowledge them anymore. This precedes him knocking one of these dumb people out and then discarding said dumb person’s wallet into a drainage ditch. I had a similar encounter the other night. Minus the make-believe ending where violence serves justice with extra olives. I usually avoid public speaking, blogging or ranting of any kind when it comes from anger. ‘Cause really who needs to perpetuate more of that shit? But now I feel angry and also compelled. I know it must be fiercely intimidating to imagine me pissed off but one night in my hometown this week left me feeling eager for violence. We all have those movies in our mind. It is when we are going to bed and when we are in the shower that we win every hypothetical argument and kick every hypothetical ass that needs kicking. In real life it went down more like this: ~~~~~ “Like, I’ll take a blonde or a brunette. I mean, if you had them right in front of me … and both were super hot, I would take the brunette. But if the brunette was super hot and the blonde was like super, super hot … then I would take the blonde.” My sister Lizzie and I were enjoying a pleasant dinner together on the outside deck of Goombay’s. I was saying something when the philosophical musings above caught our attention from the table behind Lizzie. I stopped mid-sentence to listen. After such careful comparisons with such delicate tact, I completely lost track of what I was saying. Lizzie and I both laughed to each other. A couple of minutes later the Tweedle-Dee ’s harped their intellectual pipes some more … “I’ve had like 6 Land Sharks bro” “No way, you’ve had at least 7!” “How do we tell with these pitchers?” “Whoa… I don’t bro. It’s like impossible to know. Haha” More time went on. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, my sister turned around to the table and asked them to watch what they were saying. After being called out by my sister, he just sat dazed for a moment and then slobbered, “What? We’re all white here!” “Actually, that doesn’t matter. What the Fuck?!” replied Lizzie. I asked my sister what he’d said and she told me. Apparently one of them said something about black people in downtown Melbourne and ended it with the N word. Then he went on about how “you couldn’t walk downtown without them looking at his girlfriend’s WHITE ASS.” He shouted the ‘White Ass’ part. I’m guessing she’s a brunette. I couldn’t tell you because she wasn’t at the table with them pounding Land Sharks. Perhaps her ‘white ass’ was taking an off night from Romeo. Perhaps her ‘white ass’ was treating itself to something a tad bit more formidable than the Land Shark Gobbler’s cute little baby dick. Now you may be thinking, “Why are you making assumptions about his dick? What does his dick have to do with any of this?” To that I answer this. It is possible his dick has nothing to do with this. It is also possible that he isn’t drinking so many Land Sharks to forget about his depressed, little, baby dick. It is also possible that the giant pick-up truck he peeled out of the parking lot with wasn’t purchased to compensate for his angry, little, itty bitty, cheesy, baby dick. And it MAY EVEN BE POSSIBLE that the reason another man, especially a black man, looking at his girlfriend’s ass drives him mad enough to use a word soaked in centuries worth of hate has nothing to do with his chickpea, pinky, baby carrot, lottery pencil, angry, little, itty bitty, cheesy, baby dick. And no offense to those with baby dicks that overcome such adversity without turning to disgusting levels of self pity and ignorance. Kudos to those who have become a master of fellatio or give bomb-ass back-rubs. After all everyone has something they hate about themselves. For me? Well, I would tell you but then that is all you would see when you looked at me! And then I’d have to kill you. Which in turn would make me a hypocrite for acting out in anger to my insecurities! One giant OM for enlightenment! One thing we can agree on is it is the manner in which one faces adversity that matters right? I have proof to back my claim here and you will see that this isn’t wholly a ‘baby-dick apologist’ paragraph. It also serves as quite the ‘baby-dick segue’ paragraph. We have made some amazing friends since living in LA. Of these friends, two of my favorite humans are black, gay men. I am unaware if either are Jewish but if so, that would be like the trifecta of adversity! Still, I could never come close to how it must feel to be a black, gay man. (I mean yes, I do love wearing dresses on occasion and I can pop and lock better than most girls in rap videos. Nevertheless, I am far from understanding the struggle.) Both of these friends are doing amazing things. Both are an inspiration to me. To be honest, I don’t usually even see them as gay, black men doing well. I just see them as guys I know doing rad shit. Moments like these remind me to step back and appreciate how much they’ve had to overcome to be where they are. I’m in awe. I’m also in awe of my sister. Without hesitation, she spoke up. Even they became more heated in their ignorance, I have to think that she at least planted a seed of doubt in their minds. Maybe he will think twice before saying such a word in public again? Maybe not? Maybe it just pissed him off more. It wasn’t a good sign that the words “You’re a BITCH!” was yelled at Lizzie as they drove away. As much as I was proud of my sister for saying something I was also ashamed at myself for not speaking up myself. I have to admit, in that moment I felt like Bukowski’s ‘Nick Belane’. All I could do was roll my eyes and not give them any more of my attention. I just kept thinking, “I’m just so tired of stupid, fucking people. I can’t even bring myself to acknowledge them.” But that is the reality. There are still so many stupid, fucking people. And as long as that is the reality I think it would be better for me to acknowledge the malignancy. I have to say it again I am really proud of Lizzie. She is ten times smarter than me, has a family and her work in the last few years has been helping people of all ages and races overcome their personal adversities. And in that moment, she spoke up. Phew. What a badass. Now I also realize that me speaking up could have led to a few things. Here is the fun part. Make-Believe Option 1: Me intellectually belittling him in front of a crowd of onlookers. In this case he would throw out senseless arguments rooted in antiquated philosophies that I would quickly dismantle all while making it very clear that he was acting out of fear and anguish over his insufficient endowments. He would realize he must join a baby dicks anonymous group and trade in his giant Pick-Up for a Prius. I would get a free slice of Key Lime Pie and my sister a gift certificate for a free dinner for her family. Order restored. OM! Make-Believe Option 2: Me recalling all the mixed martial arts I absorbed as a child watching countless JCVD and Steven Segal Movies, and fusing them into the ass-kicking of the season! First he would throw his beer my way. I would of course duck and the beer would soak his friend. Then he would come in strong with a right hook. I would of course easily avoid this. He would swing again with his left. Grabbing his wrist and re-directing it over my shoulder, I would then flip him over and his shoe would clip the giant pitcher of Land Shark, soaking his friend. Then I’d order another pitcher of Land Shark and waterboard him with that and the dirty bar towel. Okay, that is a little extreme. I wouldn’t do that. I would just half nelson him until he became faint and just whisper, “go to sleep little baby-dick, go to dreamland.” He would awake feeling gratitude that I took it so easy on him and well … join a baby-dick anonymous group and trade in his purple Polo shirt for a Black Lives Matter shirt. Order restored. Motha-fucking OM! Perhaps only realistic, slightly possible Option 3: Me unassumingly approaching baby-dick and asking him we could talk. Then I would disarm him with my humility and woo him with my sincerity. Actually neither of those are very realistic. Maybe I would just tell him, “Hey Baby-dick, the way you …” OK, FINE! I WON’T CALL HIM ANYTHING TRIGGERING! “Hey man, I have a lot of people in my life that aren’t white that mean the world to me so what you said earlier really hurts my heart.” I suppose I would just have to see where that would take things. But in all reality, it would do more good than the first two options would. Despite those two being quite fun to play out in my mind over and over again. ~~~~~ I don’t want to hate white people. I don’t want everyone else to hate white people. But man have I been feeling annoyed by ‘white people’ lately. I’ve consciously not made this a political piece. There is always an argument to be made over politics. Some angle that led a person to vote Red or Blue. But there is no argument or shining nugget of intellect that can be postured for being a bigot. The next bar we went to I found myself in a similar position where a few guys and a girl were gawking at a lesbian couple as though they were some freak show. Just two girls cuddled on a couch together enjoying each others company had these guys losing their wits. All of this has me feeling a little let down by my hometown. Though homogenous, it is just a quiet beach town with surfers and laid-back people. I never really saw examples of racism or prejudice growing up there. ‘Sheltered’ doesn’t need to be a negative thing until it spawns ignorance. And the only political thing I’ll say is that with the election of such a rude, unenlightened guy as Trump, there seems to be a re-emerging ‘right to be rude’. That is pretty scary. If AOL Instant Message was still a thing I would say let’s all get on and have a group chat about this stuff. I don’t really know how to proceed with anything. I also am not trying to incite something where everyone should take offense to everything! God, I wouldn’t be able to write anymore. I have friends that say despicable things for the sake of humor and shock value. As do I. That isn’t really what I am talking about here. When there is nothing but real hate behind a comment, no matter how small it is, that is what I am talking about. But I think a lot of this weird lackadaisical bigotry is from systematic racism. Maybe it is people’s parents? Or friend’s parents that say racist things? And we grow up and never never ask them if they really feel that strongly about that? And why? Or maybe it is because no one, including myself ever has the guts to say, “hey, that actually hurts my heart when you say that.” Because God help us, we would rather be ANYTHING than socially awkward! But shit if these nimrods have the guts to be public racists, it’s time we have the guts to be publicly awkward! And my sister sure as hell did. Love that skank! I would highly suggest reading my mom’s reason for ‘being on the bus’ to march with a million women in Washington, D.C. on January 21st. I am very blessed. I was born a white man. I realize the societal upper hand in that even if I don’t try to flaunt it. Hell even if I try to trick people into thinking I’m a hawt white chick half the time! But I was also blessed with enlightened family in my life: Three brave, independent women; a sincere, hilarious Jewish father; an extended family of patient, good people and tons and tons of friends that give me the chance to prove I’m not just another annoying white person. Here is a link to my Mom’s piece. - “Why I’m On the Bus” http://us12.campaign-archive2.com/?u=a7e7bdf578bef8c58a223b965&id=21ea709ca4 -Chris

[avawoolf]

2016 tried to kill me and Maggie Stiefvater may have saved my life.

2016 straight up tried to murder me.

Despite achieving two huge goals (one of which was signing with my literary agent, and the other can’t be talked about yet for REASONS), this was the worst year of my life.

Here’s the laundry list of stressful life events:

A debilitating chronic pain disorder that I conquered several years ago came back with a vengeance, essentially keeping me housebound and unable to do much of anything. Depression perked up and decided to have a go at me. 

A few months later, my husband and I moved cities, where I was diagnosed with a sensory disorder that explained a lot of things, among others why I find driving to be a terrifying ordeal. This was helpful, but also deeply traumatic. Depression took even more bites.

Two months after moving I lost my best friend very suddenly, and the void it left in my life was unspeakable. I lost eight pounds in five days and depression swallowed me whole. Self-harm reared itself for the first time.

Eight months later I realized I was gay. I spent several weeks lying on a mattress in the basement wanting to die. One night self-harm skirted the edge of a suicide attempt. A month later my husband of seven years told me he needed a divorce.

In September I moved out.

The career track I was on before I got married isn’t an option anymore. All my ambition over the last seven years was poured into writing full time, and I’m not sure if you’ve heard this, but being an author is not the most financially stable bet in the house.

I’m living alone for the first time in my life now. My religious family is not pleased with my “lifestyle choice,” and the man I wanted to grow old with is gone. The future is a deeply terrifying place.

Here’s where it all turns around.

I’m okay.

In some ways, I’m better than I’ve ever been. I’m not waiting anymore. Not for someone to give my life meaning, not for someone to come home and help me with the things I can’t do, not to see if someone will be happy with the things I want to do.

It’s all on me now.

This is the double-edged sword. The thing that has kept me at ninety pounds, at sleepless nights, at panic attacks that leave me gasping and sobbing, at shame spirals that send me running for the Ativan before my brain can start yelling at me that I need to DIE right now because I am broken and wrong and Not Enough.

Here’s where Maggie Stiefvater comes in.

(I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, Maggie, but if you do and it causes you to have The Feelings, my apologies in advance to your black Slytherin heart.)

Maggie is my Favorite Author. She also has the habit of writing blog posts and articles that are annoyingly good, and just generally being sickeningly talented at everything.

But she wrote three things in particular that have given me the best weapons life ever handed me.

The first was this article about driving.

As mentioned previously, I HATE driving. My brain is not built for it. Too many things to process, too many layers of sensory information. It’s all very not good. 

Maggie LOVES driving.

Maggie and her cars are a thing of legend, and I’ve been quite envious of this.

Why can’t I be a fearless badass who drives cars really fast, instead of a fearful creature who has a tendency to walk into things and lose my verbal skills if someone looks at me when I’m not prepared?

And whyyyy couldn’t I have been born without a sensory disorder, and anxiety, and a body that seems bent on betraying me in every way that matters?

In this article Maggie told bad drivers like me several awesome things, but the most awesome boiled down to it will suck but do it anyway. Or as she put it, “you can be anxious about a thing and learn to love it even while being anxious.”

This advice gave me one of the first non-terror filled driving experiences I’ve had in years. Rather than the anxiety being proof that I shouldn’t do the thing, that I can’t do the thing, I focused on the fact that I WAS doing the thing. It worked so well that I started applying it to non-driving things.

This advice was my first weapon. I see it as a lovely little blade, perfect for filleting things that would frighten me into submission. It’s black and steel and fits nicely in an evening bag.  

A few months later I read these two posts.

Maggie talked about her own anxiety and OCD, and how she moved past it. “Anxiety is a chain link fence,” she said. “A boundary made worse by being able to see what’s on the other side. You can get through it if you are both strong enough and come equipped with tools or friends with tools. And the more anxiety fences you break through, the fewer you will find in front of you: they are not a renewable resource.”

This was damn revolutionary. 

First of all, Maggie was not born a Fearless Badass. She talked about being a fearful child, small and edible, “easily carried away by hawks,” and BOY did I relate to that. Yes, I nodded with all of my 90 pounds, yes, that is me.

“Anxiety is a chain link fence.”

If it will suck but do it anyway was a black and stealthy dagger, then this was a proud and singing scythe.

You know that ultimate slayer weapon that Buffy hefts out of the stone in season seven? All blood red and shiny and swingable? That’s what that phrase is—it’s my Slayer Scythe. It’s my promise that every time I do the thing that scares me I wear the fence down a little more.

Eventually I will crash through it, and some day, I will marvel that a fence ever stood there.

Christmas was very, very bad. I won’t go into the details other than to say that it involved a night of running off into the snowy woods around my parents’ home and thinking semi-seriously about sitting under a pine tree until I froze to death.

But as bad as that night was, I had my weapons. I let myself feel the pain, and then I got up and did the thing. I went back to the house and got on with the business of living.

For me, the biggest change has been the things I tell myself. It’s the refusal to shame spiral, to tear into myself, to demand perfection on the first try and punish myself when it doesn’t work out. It’s knowing which fears to face, and not caring about the things that are too much for me right now.

This is the best way I can use these newfound tools: life is like a video game.

Every gamer knows you don’t go after the five star mission when you’re only at one. And you don’t berate yourself for being at one star, or having a small health meter, or having a puny little weapon that takes twenty slashes to kill a small slug demon in the first level. BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT WORKS.

You move through the game, and you LEVEL UP.

For me right now, that’s walking when I feel sad; it’s trying new things; it’s cutting off critical self-talk before the sentence is finished; it’s refusing to overthink even when my brain says that’s irresponsible and I need to have a PLAN FOR MY WHOLE LIFE RIGHT FREAKING NOW.

You move through the missions, you slay the baddies, and you level up.

And you enjoy the missions. You don’t sit there going OH NO WHAT IF I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THE END BOSS??? WHAT IF HE KILLS ME? WHAT IF I CAN’T DO IT????

You know that by the time you get to the end boss you’ll be strong enough. Your health meter will be bigger, you’ll have better weapons, and you’ll bat things out of your way with one swing. You don’t need to know how you’ll do it, you just know that you will.

And if the boss battle comes and you’re not perfect on the first try, you’ll do it again, and you’ll do it better. And if you need to go back and level up some more, that’s fine too. Because soon you’ll be back to slay that end boss and move onto the next game.

So that’s where I’m at now. Thanks Maggie. Thanks for the shiny weapons.

*pets my Slayer Scythe*

I’m prepped now.

#new years resolutions #maggie stiefvater #long post #hope cook