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#whatever i dont really care about cloud sets anyway
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DIDN'T WE HAVE LIKE 2 CNY EVENTS THIS YEAR ALONE? ANOTHER? ANOTHER PRESALE? ANOTHER DOUBLE UR? WITH XMAS NEARBY? BC WE'RE PROBABLY GETTING THAT LILITH EVENT LBR
Exhales
What the heck? Now ive seen gacha games with bad event schedules...(looks at ln and nuc) but come on
Are you not making money???? Are you desperate for money????
I get this is a gacha game made to do nothing but dry people of money but like.....idk i think having a balance of spreading events out helps keep the interest of coming back which should be important as a live service game but what do i know
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hanasnx · 7 months
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(if this makes u uncomfy in any way plz ignore)
idk if mj exists in SW ‘verse, but like—sex with ani while ur both high as kite?? BIG YES (from me at least).
esp cause!! it would probably heighten ani’s force sensitivity?? like he’s feeling high and tingling and extra touch sensitive and all of a sudden you’re touching him and he’s getting a rush of emotions, floating, hungry, hot, i love you i want you.
and you. you look like heaven, like every sin he’s ever indulged in, all flushed and glowy and smiley, touching him with a fluttery touch.
ani needs you when he’s high cause there’s something almost spiritual, almost heaven scent and hell touched, about the rush of you he gets in every way.
as a former pothead i think i've gotta set some records straight. long post about marijuana + fucking + anakin under the cut <3
warnings: marijuana, negative + positive for anakin experience with marjuana
when i was smoking enough for a circle and then playing whatever videogame was in my ps for 20 hours a day, i can say that it did nothing but make me hungry, my attention span elongated, and my anxiety non-existent. i wasn't interested in fucking, i was mostly into wasting away while naked. it didn't do much (that i can remember) for my sense of touch.
i do know that when i did fuck while high, it wasn't a remarkable experience because i don't remember any of it. nor did it make me horny or add to the sensation. those kinds of effects were from an entirely different drug that i did that i dont feel like putting the trigger warnings for so i wont talk about it
pot is definitely good for mellowing out, chilling, and fucking really casual. and i mean really casual. that's my experience with it anyway i have no idea if its diff for other ppl, im sure ppl who arent demisexual and have higher sex drives than me can say different who knows.
for anakin, i can see him smoking and fucking. definitely. in very specific circumstances. let me lay those out for you:
he smokes very occasionally for spirituality reasons. he does it respectfully, with great care. a big stickler about it. he wants to emphasize to himself it's not for recreational or social reasons. the jedi discourage drugs that cloud your judgment. marijuana is frowned upon to rely on for things like calming yourself or meditating because you should be able to do that alone. however, it's not frowned upon to partake in it every once in a while. it's all about new experiences and as long as you treat it with respect, it's alright. anakin treats it with the utmost respect.
he does not care to be under the influence of something. being high or drunk is a very rare form for him indeed. he gets very uncomfortable when on something, and especially uncomfortable being reliant on something, so when he is smoking he does it alone most of the time. he does not like being disillusioned, and he certainly does not like the idea of someone's no-nonsense idea of him being shattered.
he's led a ceremony with younger people of the order. taught them how to partake, how to roll, how to use it mindfully. and if someone is having a negative first experience, they had too much or it does not agree with them and it gets into their heads, he knows how to calm them.
when he smokes with you, it might be a rare moment of rebellion. a "i'm an adult, i can smoke a little weed." moment. and even with that notion, his darkness may catch up to him. the guilt of using it under different circumstances than usual may put him in a bad place, memories he pushes back into the reaches of his mind creep up. his past with tatooine, the tusken massacre, etc. he gets paranoid, those doubts you couldn't love a monster like him get the better of him. it gets in his way. and you're there to lead him back to the present. like op said, "you look like heaven" he'd hone in on you. tunnel vision.
anakin's way of calming himself is often self pleasure. and so since youre here, and willing and able, he might use you to guide him back to the present in a more physical way. he can't think if he's inside you, all he can do is chase his orgasm. he's tingly, he's got those nerves in the pit of his stomach, he's trying to ground himself using you and at the same time fuck you out of this world. however, with marijuana you're both slowed, and clumsy. the love-making wouldn't be coherent, or poised, but it'd be enjoyable. less concerned about what you must look like, and more cuddly. more shallow thrusts, and humping ruts, and sloppy kisses and no dialogue.
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morskisir · 3 months
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i'm really curious why you dislike the comics? /genq /nm
ooooh the dreaded question. i can get really passionate about this (i care too much) so i'm going to be as brief and simple as i can. i'm aware many people enjoy the comics and that's fine. /gen you do you. like i said; i care too much
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: we have no clue how much time or dedication was given to the comics by valve; the poor writing isn't necessarily the fault of the writers and i have no personal beef with them! with that said, old man yells at cloud /ref under read more/keep reading.
the two main gripes i have with the comics are lack of planning and tone problems.
as i already said, the lack of planning- and therefore the poor writing- does not mean the comic team was incompetent (the art is quite good a lot of the time, actually), but this does mean it severely hurts the quality of the comics themselves. it's clear they aren't sure where they're taking this (as evident by whatever the fuck is going on with helen) and what the story is even supposed to mean. the tone goes hand in hand with the poor planning; the comics aren't sure whether they want to be purely comical and action-focused or a DARK comedy; having serious moments and themes in the story.
in the end, the serious moments come off as either manipulative (iykyk. i am not getting angry about this for 40 minutes again) or as if they're being made fun of (cough cough sniper).
they also struggle to really build up those moments, so sometimes it feels as if they just came out of nowhere. it's really jarring.
there's also just. not a lot of conflict between the main cast?? there isn't a lot of pressure put on pauling from the mercs via questioning her actions, etc. (we only slightly get this from spy. but like once) (i get that it's to show how much trust they have in her but, really? not a single thing?) (this could build up to like. a "grand betrayal" sort of thing but yknow. they didnt think about the build up to anything)
this is why i think making it JUST the RED team really hurts the story- they already have set dynamics and don't need to develop or sort through any conflicts they have with one another. medic only has conflict with sniper of all people. MEDIC. who went to join another team which was actively hunting his previous one.
the comics introduce conflict and new dynamics by straight up making up new characters?? as much as i love zhanna- she was primarily put into the story just to be soldier's love interest and have a fun dynamic with him.... i'm so sorry miss.
they could've done that with demo btw?? since demo and soldier are supposed to be friends?? unless actually the team differences DO matter (which the comics do not make clear at all, engie is randomly blue while the rest are red. okay. why? wouldn't you like to know.) so red soldier and red demo dont bounce off of eachother as much as blu soldier and red demo do.
i'm not formatting this at all but remember the poor planning? ahem. sniper timeline. why did you make him barely 30. i will fucking kill you he was always clearly meant to be, look, and sound like an old man. its in his concept art its in how he talks. raghghgh
they keep giving themselves problems by adding new characters cause then the main fucking mercs who people adore get no time for themselves (demo, pyro, scout, engie) they're just kinda......there. it sucks. but it's what we got, i guess. just how canon the comics are is questionable- but i don't care if they are.
it's free real estate i'm doing my own thing!!!!!!!!!!! fuck around find out!!!!! be gay do crime!!!!!!! *gets arrested by valve for tampering with copyrighted material*
anyways, after all that negativity; shoutout to the only stuff i enjoyed from the comics: pauling, heavy, the art. goob byeeeeeeee
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idislikefrenchclass · 4 months
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hiiii! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals, followers and all the wonderful people on here! happy new year and all the best :)
hello! i dont know how to ask other people i have basically no idea how tumblr works besides from posting haha but heres my list :)
-my dog and my family. my dog is the greatest being i have ever met and my family is very nice and i love them all. sometimes i HATE going on walks with my dog but this is how i get my time alone to think so i actually do like it!!
-my friends! i dont have many but the ones i have i love too. they make school survivable 4 me, but especially my best friend. whenever i wish the world were ending i can call her up and well do the dumbest shit (well literally climb trees or lie around doing nothing. i mean really dumb shit. yesterday we set styrofoam on fire) and i feel like a human being again
-music. whatever i do normally theres music playing in the background. well not now since im writing something i need to think about so not always. most of the time i listen to shit alt rock but i also have a couple cds and cassettes which are.. also shit alt rock *shhshs radiohead, csh, and weezer*. i have a björk cassette from the 90s DUHHHH
-drinking tea or coffee and reading, i love tea. i have a couple of nice cups too but my favourite has to be my dads southpark cup. i usually read books that my friends recommend to me or that i find online or at the book store and think "hm this book looks cool ill buy it" (currently "the secret history" its great). theres this book shop that has a cafe in it kinda near where i live, i like going there. usually by bike but when its cold i go by tram because i love being on the tram. its like a little treat i give myself when i find am unused tram ticket on the ground or just buy one but let me tell you thats pain in the ass since theyre so fucking expensive it hurts my brain
-making/seeing art. i like drawing, painting, making collages, writing, taking photos, making music, putting makeup on my face, making cool outfits. all sorts of art. it doesnt have to be good, i just have to like it. my writing in english is kinda meh but in german its fun to write since my writing is actually good and i can put lots of weird words in it that i dont know in english and the grammar just feels so much more natural. it soothes my brain to have written something i like. going to museums is aaah too. especially the modern art ones, historical ones are just boring tbh.
-i know it said 5 things but im extra so hihi. being outside!!! when im inside for too long i just feel like im a rotting piece of meat. which is gross because i dont like meat. and milk. and eggs. AND TOMATOES THEYRE SO GROSS. did i ever say im vegeterian? like almost vegan even. anyways, i love being outside just watching the clouds or listening to the silence. i love quiet but i also love noise.
thats all i think. hope this is not too long or fuck it i dont care
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gwynrielsupremacy · 3 years
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Time to rest your weary head - PART 14
I know I'm updating more slowly these past few weeks, but idk..... it's kind of a long story but i feel like in so many ways, writing helps me to go through my problems - and these past few days i just haven't been needing to do it. which is good? but at the same time, i miss it dearly and dont like delaying you updates lol :) ANYWAYS enough rambling for now.... YEAH so like this is GWYN'S LAST CHAPTER.... we have only one left.... thank you so much for your supportiveness from day one!!! it's been a thrill writing this <3
Check out my masterlist; and tagging girls @katiebellf @starbornsinger @madie2200
It was girl’s night. It took almost two weeks before the Valkyries could finally have their sleepover of gossip, sparkling wine, music and laughter. During these days, her sisters in arms definitely noticed Gwyn and Azriel’s furtive stares across the room and how they found themselves reaching towards each other more and more often during training. But still Nesta and Emerie hadn't said a word so far, content in casting inquisitive eyes and raised brows at both the Shadowsinger and the priestess. Waiting, Gwyn reckoned, for that particular night – which was scheduled in advance. So she was bracing herself to answer with honesty to whatever questions they might have for her.
And she knew it would be plenty.
In one of their last afternoon encounters in the library, she let Azriel know she felt comfortable enough to talk to her friends about their relationship; and told him if he wanted to, she would be okay with him telling his brothers as well. They both agreed, though, to refrain themselves from sharing about the mating bond just yet. “One step at a time” Azriel stated softly before planting a kiss on her forehead.
They had been taking this mantra quite literally, in all aspects. Their kisses sometimes got more intense and heated, but it always stopped before Gwyn could feel any kind of discomfort. She was grateful for it, but with time, something inside her started to change; it was almost imperceptible, a new feeling she kept to herself, but was nurturing it with kindness and a strange sense of pride. An eagerness for more, that grew stronger with every chill that went down her spine as Azriel kissed her with abandon in the quiet depths of the library; or the charged silence that took over when they halted their movements a few inches away, chests heaving, flushed from training in the middle of the night. Or the way his hand squeezed hers reassuringly when they ventured together in their few visits to Velaris. His hazel eyes piercing at her soul, filled with such intent and contained heat that made her wonder how it would feel if he set that fire free.
It’s been a few days since they last saw each other, because Azriel went on another mission for Rhysand, and Gwyn was thankful she had this night to distract herself from just how much she felt his absence. She wasn’t too worried, but it was only because she trusted Rhys’s word when he reported to her how was Azriel doing, and because at most nights, she could hear a faint melody lulling her to sleep. His own way of telling her he was fine.
She turned her attention to Nesta and Emerie’s discussion about the last book both read and drew a sip of her wine. The private library was warm, with mattresses spread across the floor topped by fluffly pillows and soft blankets. They were already in their pajamas; Nesta sprawled on the floor and Emerie sat across from Gwyn at the couch, with her legs on top of her lap.
“Ok, so.” Her Carynthian sister abruptly changed the subject, staring hesitantly at Gwyn had while Nesta crossed her legs, with a matching look on her face “Are we going to talk about it now?”
Gwyn sighed. She was nervous about voicing it, even if it was to her best friends. But still, she couldn’t contain the smile that crept upon her cheeks, the joy that filled her chest:
“I guess now is as good time as any.”
Emerie and Nesta both exchanged looks, as if gathering their thoughts. Strategizing.
“First of all” Nesta stated sternly, carefully measuring her words “How are you feeling?”
“Good” Gwyn answered with the same tone as her friend, brows high with amusement at her friend’s concern.
“Good.” She nodded, almost to herself “And what exactly is going on?”
“Well… Not much.” Seeing as her sisters didn’t approve her vague response, she went on “We’ve been taking it slowly.”
“We? So there’s a we?” It was Emerie’s turn to raise her eyebrows, nudging her with her foot from across the couch.
“If you want to know…” She said, matter of-factly “Yes, there is.”
“And how far did this we-thing go yet?”
“We’ve been meeting in the training ring for a year now, you know, for training purposes only.” She raised her brows for emphasis as her sisters laughed “But ever since my birthday, we grew even closer. It was really one of the most thoughtful gifts I ever got. And then he invited me to Velaris.”
Gwyn toyed with her hair before continuing: “And then we kissed.”
Nesta raised her brows almost to her hairline, and Emerie’s reaction consisted in her throwing a pillow at Gwyn:
“You kissed?!” She squealed. “They kissed.” She turned to Nesta, eyes wide.
“Stop it.” Gwyn laughed, feeling herself flushing. “Yeah, we did… Multiple times now.”
Nesta started laughing as well, a mischievous glint in her cunning eyes: “And how’s it going?”
“Well, as I said before, we’ve been taking it slowly. But…” She added, her blush deepening “Maybe… I don’t know, maybe I’m ready for... More.”
Mother, she felt giggly like a teenager; on the positive side, her friends were acting as such, smirking and casting amused looks at her. Nesta reached forward from her place in the mattress and took Gwyn’s hand:
“Gwyn, this is good. To consider developing your relationship with a male you trust… This is good. Natural.”
“We’re happy for you.” Emerie nodded, adding.
“And Azriel is well advised.” Nesta completed, lifting an eyebrow.
“Oh, I don’t doubt he was.” Gwyn winked, laughing at her friend’s protective tone. “I’m a bit nervous. And happy: a nervous kind of happy.”
“Well” Nesta got up to her feet, motioning for Emerie to give her a space on the couch, sitting between them and snuggling under the covers. “If you want, we could give you some advice.”
Gwyn nodded, and couldn’t shake off that grateful feeling at their supportiveness as she and her two sisters by heart started discussing deep into the night.
*****
She woke up as the sun began to rise, light entering the room by the semi-shut curtains. She dreamed of that familiar melody again. Nesta and Emerie were still asleep, and she stretched quietly before getting up, heading towards the window to watch the sunrise. Magically, a cup of tea appeared in her hands, and she thanked the House before drinking it, observing the first appearance of sunlight rise beyond the mountains. Today she wouldn’t be attending her morning service, so she could spend more time with her friends and eat breakfast together.
Gwyn sighed, appreciating the peace and quiet with a light feeling in her chest, just as she caught a glimpse of shadow approaching the House. Her heart started beating faster at that, and she adjusted the blanket around her shoulders before quietly opening the doors that lead to the balcony.
That principle of shadow grew wider as Azriel’s figure started becoming more and more apparent under the daylight. His shadows reached her before he did, and she giggled when they went for her hair and shoulders.
Her mate landed with one swift move, striding towards her, and she tried to calm her heart as she took in that beautiful sight.
“Good morning” He greeted her quietly with sparkling eyes and a crooked smile.
She smiled even further at the sound of his voice, a soft tone that matched the tender melody she heard in her sleep, and closed their distance in two small steps.
“I missed you.”
Azriel pulled her into his arms, pressing their bodies close. She nuzzled her head on the crook of his neck and took a deep breath, as he gently caressed her back:
“I missed you too.” His voice was a deep rumble that caused chills on her spine.
He pulled away only enough to lift her chin and brush his lips against hers. A whisper of a kiss. Gwyn found herself instinctively going for his hair, pressing him closer as she tugged his raven hair; because Mother, she had missed him. All of him. And she wanted to let it show.
Azriel didn’t miss a step as he enlaced his arms behind her back, and the groan that erupted from him as she bit his lower lip only made her desiring scent grow stronger, mixing with his. He parted for a second, panting, and his hazel eyes darkened with lust as he scanned her face. His hair was ruffled from where her hands had been, and as he glowed against the morning light Gwyn thought he was the most handsome male to have ever lived.
And he was all hers.
“I could hear you.” Gwyn breathed, and couldn’t contain her fingers from brushing against his cheek, trailing her thumb against his lips. “Almost every night, sometimes before bed, sometimes when I couldn’t sleep, or in my dreams: I could hear your melody.”
Azriel closed his eyes, resting his forehead on hers. Both their mating scent and his shadows like a cloud around them, inebriating her thoughts. His hand toyed with a strand of her copper hair.
“You did it, didn’t you? Sing to me.” She continued.
His crooked smile in answer melted her heart, and that alone made her smash her lips on his senselessly, Azriel letting her lead the way as she slowly guided his hands down her back, and when he placed them on her thighs she pulled herself up, embracing his torso with her legs and trusting him to hold her. Which he did rather effortlessly, tracing kisses from her mouth to her jaw to her neck while she sighed.
Gwyn knew her sisters were just behind those closed doors and curtains, sound asleep, but she couldn’t care less. Not when the heat emerging from her core made her want to combust. She could feel every inch of Azriel against the fabric of her night clothes, the duvet she used to cover herself long forgotten on the floor, but instead of shying away from it, she embraced it fully, pressing them even tighter and thriving at the sound of his deep rumble against her skin, at the sensation of his fingers digging into her thighs.
She quietly giggled, thriving at his touch, and opened her eyes a few seconds later when she felt his face moving away from the spot on her neck, her body already craving his lips on her again.
“Why did you stop?” She stared into those deep hazel eyes, filled with passion and flame.
“Your laugh” His voice was rough, lips swollen. “It drives me insane.”
She raised an eyebrow, but couldn’t help laughing again, louder this time. After all, she was happy. She brushed her lips against his lightly:
“I’m glad you’re home, Az.” Back to me, she thought.
He softly placed her on the ground, but didn’t let go of her hips:
“I’m glad to be home, Gwyn.”
And at that moment she knew, with certainty, home would always be wherever they were.
Together.
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pseudofaux · 3 years
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hi!! plz if you dont mind could you do some doctor play with kyle from ikerev?
I COULD AND I WILL! 😍 The good doctor is always in on this blog.
Thanks so much for requesting! 🩺 I wanted to make this sexy for the doctor play but definitely keep it playful, because I really like that part of the Alice/Kyle dynamic. I hope you will see and enjoy this!
(Requests are closed, readers, but there are a lot to be filled in May and likely June, too! Feel free to follow along or just check in and enjoy as many as you like. A masterlist will go up when they are all completed.)
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“You’re really compromising my professional integrity here,” he drawls.
“Good thing you aren’t held to a professional standard after ten at night. In my room.” She gives his hand a squeeze for good measure.
“...point taken.”
He still sounds strained, so she pauses and looks at his face.
“It’s okay,” Kyle assures her. “This is just... weird, outside of the clinic.”
“Is it too weird?”
“Did I say it was?”
She rolls her eyes and gives his hand a yank for good measure. “Don’t make fun of me. You said we could try.”
“I did. So,” he begins loudly, taking back his hand and using it to tap a folder she nicked from the clinic for just this reason, “I believe you mentioned some ‘enhanced sensitivities that are making everyday life more difficult’. What can you tell me about what’s going on?”
He has the exact lazy, gentle, warm tone she loves to listen to when he’s actually working. He looks so normal there in the chair beside her bed, a little lazy but not inattentive, and his hair is mussed from a long day and he’s one one leg over the other. He looks so good her feet start swinging, hanging off the edge of her mattress.
“Well, Kyle, I—”
“It’s Dr. Ash, actually,” he chimes in. He sounds bored but since he never actually corrects people he must be doing this because he’s committed to the play she asked for. She pulls her lips into her mouth so she doesn’t laugh.
“Dr. Ash,” she amends respectfully.
“I went to medical college,” he points out. “You’re not seeing a quack, here.”
“Can we get to the point?” she hisses. He does not pull his lips into his mouth, he laughs openly at her and waves her on.
“Doctor Ash,” she stresses, “I’m having a very hard time lately because— well, this is embarrassing...” and even though it was her idea, it is embarrassing. She’s not comfortable saying what she was thinking. It seemed like a really good idea all week when she was working up her nerve, but now that they are actually here, her nerve seems to have left her to do this on her own.
“Don’t worry,” Kyle drawls. “I’ve seen it all before.”
“...have you.” She can’t help glaring at him.
“Oh, right, sorry. Uh... just be honest, I’m here to help.”
“Well, it’s my chest, you see.”
Kyle cocks an eyebrow at her, more curious than seductive. If she’s honest with herself, even his curious expression is very appealing. “Are you experiencing any pain?” he asks. “How long has this been going on?”
“Ages,” she says, leaning into the drama of their little play. “And it’s not pain, exactly. More like... sensitivity, like I reported.”
He taps his chin thoughtfully with the folder. “Can you show me where on your chest, exactly?”
She nods, takes a deep breath, and cups her breasts. The way his eyes widen and shoot to hers is extremely satisfying.
“Didn’t realize you meant this,” he says under his breath.
“Well, I did,” she shoots back under hers. “This, specifically,” she says in her normal voice, and thumbs her nipples. She can’t remember the last time she was so bold, but his interest is evident so she sticks with her plan. Now they are getting somewhere!
They go back and forth a bit more, and eventually he asks her to remove her shirt. Victory bubbles like fresh fizzy lemonade in every one of her fingers as she undoes the ribbon she wears under her collar, then all the buttons. By that point her nipples actually do ache, needing his touch, used to his mouth by this point in the night. They feel vulnerable but not in a way that desires hiding. Not that she could, when each peak is so obvious through her chemise.
“I see why you’d be concerned,” Kyle says drily. She shoots him a look and he holds up his hands, one still clutching the empty folder. “Sorry,” he mouths.
“No you’re not,” she hisses.
“You want to stop, or...?”
“I want you to do it right!”
He holds up the folder again and clears his throat.
Kyle touches the stethoscope he wore into her room, slung behind his neck. “I’m going to listen to your heartbeat,” he tells her. She nods.
“You’re going to feel me touch,” he says quietly, and she’s heard those words a hundred times but never said in such a way. It makes her heartbeat start to skip, trip, run inside her ribs. Now they’re getting somewhere.
The little disc presses into her just above the lace that edges her chemise, and it is so cold she flinches. His hand comes to her arm to hold her in place. “Sorry about that,” he murmurs. He opens his mouth and expels warm air onto the spot the stethoscope chilled. “Better?”
“Yes,” she says, maybe a little too enthusiastically.
He hums quietly (that means good, she recognizes that sound as well as she knows his snores), and then presses the disc to her again, following the edge of the lace. It’s a slow, careful progression.
“Good, good, can hear your heartbeat,” he says, voice thick.
“No you can’t,” she hisses.
“Did you go to medical college?”
“You don’t even have it in your ears!”
“What? Oh— aww, to hell with this thing,” he says, chucking the stethoscope over his shoulder. It thumps forlornly against the carpet of her room, but she can’t spare it any thought because two green-gold eyes are looking right at her as he slides the right strap of her chemise off her shoulder and fishes out her breast.
“Medicine is about careful observation,” he tells her, in a voice some men use to tell their lovers significantly more romantic things. She doesn’t mention his careful stethoscope use, but he tweaks her nipple anyway. The pull immediately registers between her legs and her breathing becomes something more like panting.
He hums, frees the other breast, and tweaks that nipple, too. Her naked shoulders hunch forward in a protective measure but he doesn’t let go, so the pull becomes a sweet, sharp pain, and her whimper is plain in the air between them.
“Oh, good,” he murmurs. “I know you expressed concern, but this all seems like normal sensitivity to me.”
She’s trying to play along, but her voice is very pleading when she asks “Does it?”
Kyle nods and frowns in concentration as he gets a wider grasp, then gently pinches. “Feel that?”
It’s a good thing they are in her bedroom, because her noise of assent would definitely echo off the tiles of the clinic and is generally inappropriate in any professional setting.
He’s massaging her now, moving the captive flesh between his thumb and finger, and honestly the gentle pull feels like milking and she has to squeeze her comforter below her hands so she doesn’t swoon. “What... are you doing?” she manages to ask. Her voice is complete lust, it feels like all of her is complete lust.
“Carefully examining my patient,” he says quietly, and indeed he is looking at the tip of her breast very carefully. “Please stop distracting me, my work is very important.”
That’s what he says, but there’s some red high on his cheeks, and she’s never seen him wet his lips so often while giving a patient an exam. Nor ever massage them like this. Thank goodness.
When he starts working her other breast at the same time, she struggles to keep up the act. He’s never touched her like this before, and being half clothed while he’s all buttoned up and leaning in to slowly milk her or whatever he’s doing while she sits less and less primly on her bed... maybe they’re close enough to breaking character? That was the whole point. Should she just give it up and pull him into bed?
“You’re going to feel me touch,” he whispers, and it’s said gently but it is a declaration, not a warning. Even half-dazed, he puts the stress on just the right word to make the meaning clear: he’s going to touch her and she will feel it.
Kyle turns his hands so he can cup her breasts with his fingers. There’s another of his warm breaths, so warm it makes her nipple feel as dewy as her slit, and then he takes it in his mouth without letting go of his grip on her. His suck is so strong— or maybe she’s so sensitized— that she shrieks, the sound tiny but alarmed. He shoots her a lazy glare, then closes his eyes and says “Quiet, please,” around a mouthful of her breast before he does it again.
“Kyle,” she says in a small voice. “I—”
He sighs through his nose, the huff of his breath blowing onto her like a cloud. She feels him everywhere. “As I said, it’s ‘Doctor Ash’, actually,” he corrects as he moves to her other breast.
She repeats it with a shaky voice but the last syllable becomes a wail she keeps in at the very last minute by clamping her mouth shut as he sucks even harder on the other nipple.
He lets her fall from his mouth but doesn’t move back. Gravely, he tells her “That reaction makes me think this is a very extreme case.”
“Oh no,” she says. She wishes she could play up her concern for the sake of this game, but the words just fall out of her with even less grace than her wet nipple tumbled out of his mouth when he let her go. Only with his mouth, of course. His hands are still on her, still working her. She tells herself that’s why she can’t stop squeezing her thighs together. “What do you recommend, doctor?”
“Bed rest,” he whispers. He’s rubbing her nipple with his nose and he is so attractive she is going to die if he doesn’t touch her more.
“Oh thank goodness,” she sighs, throwing her arms around him. She can hear his muffled laugh as he lets go to slip his arms around her and use the embrace to push her back to the comforter.
“Don’t worry,” he murmurs before he puts his hands right back where they were and begins to kiss her throat. “I have a very specific treatment plan in mind.”
She moans when he finds the spot she likes, high on the left side. “Tell me more,” she begs.
But he doesn’t. He shows her instead. Thankfully, the treatment plan is very thorough.
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Text
Fluff Alphabet (Mammon)
@pzlqpibz said: Please can i have one full alphabet on mammon ? 🥺🥺 Love you, take care of you !!!!!!😚😚😚
Hi! I hope that you don’t mind that i’m tagging you. But anyways here is a full fluff alphabet for tsun tsun baby mammon :)))) ~Admin Hurricane
A - Activities; How do they like to spend time with you?
He likes taking you out to buy stuff despite him not being able to afford a lot of things lol. And if he can, he also likes taking you to his shoots so you can see him going all out with different outfits and such.
B - Beauty; What do they admire/find beautiful about you?
He rlly likes your hair and just playing around with it. He also thinks it’s rlly cute when you’re studying together and your face scrunches up while you try and figure out what the answer is. He’ll just kinda stare at you longingly and then when you catch him, he’ll turn away panicked and blushy lmao.
C - Comfort; How would they help you if you felt down/were having a panic attack?
He’d also panic because at first he wouldn’t quite know what to do, but then he would just pull you into a hug cause he wouldn’t rlly know what else to say. 
D - Dreams; How do they picture their future with you?
At first, he thought that it was a one sided thing, so all he could rlly see is you with one of his brothers and not him. But then after you got together, he could see it as something that could work out. Being the avatar of Greed, everything used to be just about him, him, him, but then you came into the picture and all of that was thrown out the window. 
E - Equal; Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
He gives off dom vibes, but rlly he’s the more passive one lmao
F - Fighting; Would it be easy for them to forgive you? How do you fight?
It would probably be something along the lines of: Mammon: grrrr you idiot human, I’ll never forgive you! *five minutes later* Mammon: nooooo MC come back dont hang out with my stupid brothers.
G - Gratitude; How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what you’re doing for them?
He acts like he isn’t but really, he is, he’ll just never admit it.
H - Honesty; Do they have any secrets that they hide from you? Or do they share everything?
He gets into a lot of trouble with the witches and he doesn’t want to get you involved. But since he’s a terrible liar you still find out anyways.
I - Inspiration; Did you change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
You did! You helped him with his relationship with his brothers. 
J - Jealousy; Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Oh boy, he’s a tsundere for a reason lol. If he wasn’t the avatar of Greed, he’d be the avatar of Jealousy lmao.  
K - Kiss; Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
I like to imagine that he’s a rlly good kisser dshfbsffdbsh. The first kiss was most likely pretty rushed and a spur of the moment type of thing, where he literally goes “cause i love you idiot,” then proceeds to kiss him.
L - Love Confession; How would they confess to you?
If you’ve seen lesson 20, you know ;)
M - Marriage; Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
At the beginning of your relationship, he’s terrified that you’re gonna leave him cause everyone thinks he’s a scumbag, but then later on he really believes that he wants and will get married to you. He’d probably propose by pulling you into a secluded place away from his brothers, maybe the top of the devildom and then ask the question. And mammon, being mammon would want an extravagant wedding lol
N - Nicknames; What do they call you?
Treasure, baby girl, babe, baby, my human
O - On Cloud Nine; What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It’s pretty obvious lol, he’s more blushy and clingy than usual. He doesn’t easily express his feelings cause whenever he sees you, he turns into a stuttering blushy mess. 
P - PDA; Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
Oh man, if he could let the entire Devildom know that you’re going out with him, he would do it. His brothers are tired of him constantly bragging and going “mE AnD mC aRE dATiNG”. But he’s a shy blushy baby about PDA in front of everyone else. 
Q - Quirk; Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
I think that mammon would actually be rlly good with kids! He doesn’t seem like it at first but he’s just a big softie for them.
R - Romance; How romantic are they? What would they do to make you happy? Cliché or rather creative? 
He doesn’t act all romantic at first, but he’d try his best to make you happy. Something catches your eye? He goes out of his way to go get it for you later. 
S - Support; Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
He’s supportive of whatever you want, he believes that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. 
T - Thrill; Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
He prefers to follow a routine. 
U - Understanding; How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
When the two of you start dating, he knows you pretty well. He doesn’t show it but he’s pretty empathetic. 
V - Value; How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?
This relationship is vvvvvvvvvvvvvv important to him. He’s never had anything like this because he’s constantly being put down by his brothers and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 
W - Wild Card; A random Fluff Headcanon.
When the two of you wake up in the morning and you’re trying to get up, he’ll just pull you back unexpectedly and cuddle longer, refusing to let you go.
X - XOXO; Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
In public, he’s a blushy baby, but in private be prepared to have this boi be stuck to your side like glue. He won’t let you go. You probably have to initiate the cuddling first tho.
Y - Yearning; How will they cope when they’re missing their partner? 
Oh man, if you’re gone, he sulks a lot and hides out in his room. He’ll probably just lay on top of his bed scrolling through his gallery looking at pictures of you, or you and him. 
Z - Zeal; Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
If it’s you, he’s willing to try his best and achieve it, even if he acts like he’s uninterested. He really cares about you and wants to ensure your happiness.
Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist :)
If you wanna request something, don’t be afraid to send something my way! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!
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perhapsthanatos · 3 years
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10:32 pm with yuta ♡
nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)
alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn
genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.
word count: 1400~
playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.
warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.
a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3
“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”
“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”
“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”
“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”
you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?
you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?
after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.
“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”
a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.
“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”
“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“
“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”
his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”
you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”
he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”
“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”
“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.
knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.
yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.
he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.
“get in, princess.”
and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.
“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.
“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”
you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.
© perhapsthanatos (efa)
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osdd-1bitch · 3 years
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// partly a vent? but also if you have any type of advice as to what i can do pls say,, gotta be honest im still INSANELY fucked on if im a system or not :( for a while i was dead set on it but i ended up just not saying anything to my therapist and fell back into that "ok no thats not me, im just a really vivid daydreamer" mindset.
then your blog auto-popped up as i was typing and i clicked it and im back to that "maybe" thing. im just so conflicted rn ughhh goddamnit :( ive been having an extremely stressful past few weeks (no specifics but alot of my trauma resurfaced, alot of shit triggered me, similar traumatic situations etc) and i missed both of my therapy sessions the past 2 weeks, so ive kinda reverted back to being dependant on alters who im not even sure are alters or not. and even THEN im not sure how to bring up to my therapist that i think i may have OSDD or DID?? like idk how im gonna come back after 2 weeks and say "hey btw all this traumatic shit came back up and i think i might be a system bc i talk to people in my head who arent me lol but anyways can i use ur fidget cube?" ??? SO much has happened and im really debating on just pushing down that it might be osdd/did and pretending nothing is wrong for the sake of keeping myself mentally stable yk ?? gotta say i just dont know what to do at all. lets also not forget im 13 and shouldnt even have to deal w this much stress EVER but dfghgtf. im just really struggling to tell if this is my maladaptive daydreaming or DID man :(
MaDD and plurality are weird to work w, especially since MaDD can and often is be caused by trauma and there are some expressions of MaDD that one could put on the plural spectrum. Its mucky either way and can suck to deal with
before i continue, id like to say our experience on therapy has...not been great so ill refrain from giving therapy specific advice for fear of our past experiences clouding our judgement, but you can share the trauma bits and get some help without talking about plurality. the rings system did some videos that might help about talking to a therapist,red flags ect, lovely folks, you should give em a watch if you havent. either way id say you prolly shouldnt bring this up yet, but info is also good in general
and also, some personal advice, be very very careful on the internet, especially social medias at your age. we were in your shoes once and it did fck us up quite a bit
either way, i seriously doubt youll be taken seriously, not in a bad way, full grown adults struggle to get help. and stressing about specifics can just lead to, you guessed it! more stress. its totally fine to drop all lables and just exist for a while and try and do whatever, talking w sysmates or daydreaming whatever, you dont have to name these experiences for now, just live them. doubt is weird, and youll almost def be wout dxing for a few years either way.
just live your life, try not to bring up trauma wout professionals, and be very safe on the internet, and preferably get off tumblr and move somewhere safer, its really not a place for people your age. i know you probably wont listen to that bit much, but at least be extra super safe.
self dxing can take years btw. its not really a matter of weeks, lived experience and analyzing yourself and just questioning takes a lot of time. take it slow
and its totally fine if its not did. or madd. or either. dont stress, dont try and conform yourself to dxes and stuff rn, especially since you are both v young and just started questioning. im not saying your age means you shouldnt, if you have did you have it rn, but things can take time to come to light. just b honest w yourself and open to the options, mkay? self dxing is a lot of research on top of the work. if you started questiong round now tbh many systems if they questions at your age would get a dx or self dx at like 15,16,17 ect ect, and thats if they question. do what helps you and talk to your therapist, you dont have to mention did but talk about questioning disorders and junk.
this sorta age is when figuring yourself out rlly starts to happen yknow? that doesnt mean you should be cornered off n stuff, n kept away from dxes, but it also means you should be very careful n research a ton. if you find smth you resonate w it, keeping it in the maybe pile for a year or two can seem like its a long time, but will help a ton in the end, if its true or not. if its stressing you out a ton, its okay to not think about it for a bit, you have time.
and again, please please please try and get off social medias they can mess w your head a lot, and try not to share your age online again. im torn abt publishing this n may delete this ask n repost the response, but im not sure
tldr:
i dont wanna tell you to not question or identify symptoms, but things change a lot n you are just dipping your toes into life. take things slow and sit on them, thats the best advice given to us at your age. you could be absolutely right, you could be confused, you could be dead wrong, and all of these are okay. just keep yourself open, research and rlly think abt it (like months of thinking abt it) before it can age properly in the maybe bin. and also be safe online, dont share your age and stuff n keep off toxic n inapropriate sites like this best you can. options are open and symptoms can change over time. just exist and take note of things. dont stress over lables, n self dx should stay in the possibly-maybe bin for now, itll be worth the wait
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igotyouniverse · 4 years
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Breathe Me - Chapter 1 [nct vamp au]
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Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.
Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [several side-pairing involving Mark, Ten, Lucas and Jaehyun.]
Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Action, Fantasy
Warnings: none (this chapter)
suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)
a/n: Here it comes! After years of procrestination I finally managed to write the very first (very boring) chapter of my vampire au with nct! Anyway, the main drama will start in the next chapter so stay patient and bear this one with me. It took me long enough, haha. All the warnings will be for later chapters so don't start reading if u dont feel like reading stuff like that qq If someone wants to get tagged please send me a message, ask, comment or whatever qq
I really hope you guys enjoy it, it was a very heavy birth. ♥
ch.2 || ch. 3
                                                   †
The girl sighed deeply and took a look outside the small airplane window. She saw how the plane slowly drove into the prepared parking lot and felt how her level of anxiety rose with each second. Even though the flight was 18 hours long and her legs started to hurt she didn't want to stand up. Standing up meant for her to actually leave the plane, get her luggage and meet her family which would sooner or later lead to them asking all these questions. It wasn't like she didn't miss them.
She missed them very dearly. She missed the Sunday morning brunches with her neighbours, the movie nights where her dad would always pick out a movie because he'd pout if not, she even missed  her little brother Mark bursting into her room without knocking and asking her some totally stupid questions. She missed catching up with her best friend. She missed all these sleepovers when all they had to worry about was who the cutest boy at school was and what they'll do together once they were adults. She craved for all these past memories. The last time she set foot onto this ground was two years ago at her very first spring break after leaving home, moving to a town thousand of miles away, not knowing anyone.
She heard a beeping noise which indicated that the passengers could stand up and get out but she waited. All of them seemed in such a hurry to leave the plane, grabbing their belongings, everyone trying to get out first which ended in a crowded queue inside of the plane. She stretched her legs as much as possible, not making the slightest move to stand up.
Her eyes wandered back to the window, allowing her to take a glance at the sky, she wished to be into again. It was still quite bright outside, even though it was nearly evening, the sun nearly blinding her when she looked up, leading her to cover her eyes with her hand. The sunsets were so different in the States than here, in South Korea. Her eyes tried to focus on the slowly fading sun, leaving the sky in beautiful pinks and oranges with just a hint of soft white clouds.
Her mind started to spin, thinking about all the things she had to explain to her family sooner or later. But for now she needed to stay positive and hide the fact that she – the oh-so-perfect – student managed to drop out of a university, her parents nearly went insolvent to pay for to allow their daughter to get the best medical education they could think of. At the beginning the girl actually thought that it was her biggest dream to become a famous surgeon but after a short while she had to face the ugly truth that the job she so desperately wanted to do as long as she could remember just wasn't her thing.
She tried so badly to keep on and thought that it's just a phase every young adult went through when they started university but every time she talked to her friends at university she saw that that wasn't exactly the case. Everyone was so focused and motivated to become a successful doctor or surgeon they underwent the torture of endless sleepless nights, insane pressure and the feeling of not being able to even cut an onion correctly, which the professor didn't even care to make better. Every day she got told that she would never be able to work in the medical field and could try herself with some more basic and easy studies. It didn't matter how hard she tried to remember all the lectures and do her assignments – she failed miserably at everything.
Of course, her family didn't know. She was way too afraid to burst the bubble her parents created around her, leaving her in that perfect, white spotlight, portraying her like some sort of angel on a pedestal for everyone to see. They loved to talk about her in front of everyone, telling them that she'd be a successful surgeon, working hard and publishing groundbreaking articles, making herself a name in the medical community. Maybe even getting some famous award. Everyone in that small town knew about the smart daughter who got into one of the best medical universities in the United States, who worked so hard she was barely home.
She couldn't bear to see the disappointment on their faces once they see what she really was – a failure. She managed to hide her dropping out of university so well, she created her web of lies carefully over the last year, she sometimes even believed what she was saying. But as soon as her alarm clock went off, remembering her to go to work at a small corner café to pay her rent and even save some money in case her parents might throw her out, she had to face real life again. The life in which she dropped out only one year after starting, loosing hundreds of thousands of dollars and leaving the incident in her resume forever.
She was glad she got a job in the café as it belonged to the parents of one friend she met at college, who managed to get in because of a scholarship. They allowed her to work as much as she could to save money and even helped her sometimes.
“Excuse me, Miss?”, a soft and gentle voice made the girl leave her deep thoughts and look up. A beautiful, young flight attendant smiled down at her. “You need to leave the plane, please.”, she said in sweet yet demanding voice  and got her luggage out of the cabinet above for her. The girl didn't realise that the plane was already as good as empty. She thanked the attendant, grabbed her bag and went out of the plane into the airport, feeling her legs shaking more with each step she took.
She pulled out her smartphone, turning off flight mode only to get bombarded with dozens of messages, mostly from her mom asking if she already landed and that they waited for her at the gate. After that she only texted emojis. Hearts, heart-eyes and some other stuff which made her feel even more anxious. How could she disappoint a mother as proud as her? No, she needed to keep her secret for a bit longer. Maybe until her brother messed up. But what could he possibly mess up which would overshadow her dropping out of college? Maybe if he committed a crime.
Mark was different from her, She didn't know how but he actually managed to tell their parents that he doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer, and instead insisted of becoming an author or journalist. To say her parents were unhappy would be an understatement. They were more than angry and told him to pay the tuition himself. They believed it was just a small teenage dream he had but when he finished High School and started working at the local bookstore to save some money to actually study creative writing they realized that he was serious. That small incident happened just 14 months ago, yet he continued to work there and save up. He even managed to visit her every couple of months, as she didn't want to come.
When she arrived at the luggage claim the suitcases were already out on the baggage belt and she waited as long as she could, watching her lonely suitcase making its turns on the device, purposely ignoring it until it was the only one left and she had to grab it. Her phone vibrated in her pocket again.
Mark [06.07pm]: Where r u?
She rolled her eyes and just put it back in the pocket of her jeans as she headed towards the exit. The girl took a deep breath, putting on the brightest smile she could manage and stepped out of the doors. Her family wasn't hard to notice. Her parents held a way too big and bright  banner in their hands
WELCOME HOME AVA
Ava tried to keep her smile up and waved at them. “Oh, honey welcome home!”, her mother shouted as she lowered the banner to hug her daughter tightly. “I'm so happy you're finally home again, our doctor!.”, she said and patted her back softly. She felt her dad joining the hug and giving her a warm smile as well, joining her mother in telling her how happy he was to have her back home. Ava clenched her jaw, trying to smile as honest as possible.
“You're really squishing me to death guys.”, Ava chuckled and was glad when her parents finally let go of her. She looked up and saw her brother Mark smiling at her.
“Come on, give your favourite sister a hug.”, the girl laughed, making her brother chuckle before embracing her in a loving hug as well. The last time she saw him he visited the campus a few months ago. Of course he didn't know she dropped out then and nearly choked on his water when she told him. She knew he wouldn't tell their parents but he thought it would be better if she told their parents as soon as possible, which she didn't of course.
“Happy to have you back.”, Mark said and squeezed his sister one more time before he let her go and took her suitcase.
Ava stretched her body slowly before getting into their car, really not wanting to sit down for another hour but apparently she had to. As soon as she sat down and put on her seat belt her mother turned around to look at her and smiled.
“Tell us, honey, how is Stanford? Is it going well, yes?”, she asked and Ava felt like she needed to throw up.
“Yeah, everything is fine. I handed in all assignments last week and I have a good feeling.”, she chuckled and felt guilt crawling all over her body. She smiled slightly and turned her eyes away to avoid her mother proud gaze, yet she could feel Mark eyeing her.
“Ah, that's so great, honey. Your father and I just talked to the Lee's from across the street and they told us their son wants to apply to Stanford, too. We told them you could talk to him and give some advice.”
“Sure.”, she just sighed and pulled out her phone again, hoping her mother would understand her silent plead to leave her be. Her mother smiled again and turned back to talk to her father about what she'd make for dinner on this special occasion.
Ava checked the other texts she got, scrolling through them. She smiled when she saw a text from her best friend, sending her a picture from her in her nurse uniform. She looked so cute, proudly standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room, posing with a finger heart.
[Ava 06.54pm] Cute! Just landed, on my way home. Wanna hang out later?
[Yunmi 06.57pm] Can't. Night shift today but pick me up tomorrow morning and get breakfast? The café next to the bookstore finally opened!
[Ava 07.00pm] absolutely! Can't wait. Miss you so much ♥
She scrolled through the remaining texts just to feel a little disappointment in her body after not seeing what she so desperately wanted to see. But then again, she didn't expect to see a text from him after he ignored each and everyone of hers the last two years. He didn't even care enough to wish her a happy birthday in November so he probably couldn't care less texting her when she came home.
She sighed lightly and looked outside the car window, seeing how the landscape came and go in front of her eyes and how the sky got all these beautiful colours in it, she could even see the moon already. A wave of tiredness crashed over her exhausted body as she decided to close her eyes for just  a moment.
The girl felt someone poking her arm multiple times, calling her name.
“Wake up, we're home.”, she heard Mark say and groaned, before rubbing her eyes.
“Yes, I'm awake, you can stop poking me.”, she said when her brother continued to poke her arm with a grin on his face.
“Don't make me hit you.”, she warned and slapped his hand away.
“Pff, please.” he answered mockingly and jumped out of the car before her fist could reached his body.
Ava chuckled , getting out of the car stretching her stiff body slowly, hearing all her joints crack at once.
“How old are you? 80?” Mark said teasingly, getting out her suitcase from the trunk.
“Trust me, I feel like it.”, she yawned loudly and slowly got up the stairs to their house.
She inhaled the sweet and calming scent of her mothers vanilla candles as soon as she set foot into the house, taking of her shoes before she walked further inside. It hasn't changed a bit. The beige coloured walls still had pictures of the family on them. Ava smiled and looked at the picture of her and her family from her Highschool graduation three years ago. She smiled when she saw the exact picture her parents had chosen. Mark and her making some weird pose while her parents rolled their eyes.
“Honey, dinner will be ready in half-an-hour, okay?” she didn't realize that her mother was standing right next to her and flinched a bit.
“Yeah, sure, thank you, mom. I'll start to unpack then. Love you.”, Ava said, kissing her mothers cheek softly before going up the stairs into her old room where Mark already put her suitcase and bag.
Her room hasn't changed either. Of course, it looked a bit colder as she took all her personal stuff with her to the US when she moved out, but it still felt comfy with it's cozy beige sofa and her queen sized bed, which her mother already prepared for her. She closed the door behind her and looked outside the big windows, which connected to a small balcony, which was only hers. She remembered how mad Mark was when she got the room with the balcony and not him and grinned. She stepped outside for a moment to breathe in the still warm air, listening to the rustling sound of the trees as a mild breeze blew through them.
The small wooden bench she made herself with her dad back when she was younger still stood in the very same corner and even had pillows on it and a blanket, indicating that someone still used it even while she was gone. Probably her mother when she wanted to have some time and space for herself, she thought and smiled before going back into her room.
She stretched her stiff body once again before squatting down and opening her black suitcase to unpack her things. Ava only brought some clothes and other necessities with her as she didn't believe of staying home for a longer period of time. She rented her tiny apartment, or as she preferred to call it, her shoebox to a friend from university who looked for her own place as long as she stayed with her parents so she didn't need to worry about paying rent. So she just packed her essentials and hoped to keep her pretty little lie for some more months to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her situation now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay in Stanford . She just knew, she didn't want to stay here in this tiny town where everyone knows everyone.
She loved the size of New York, she loved the vibes, the people and even the stink it had. It was charming in some kind of way and she enjoyed the anonymity she had. She liked living in the famous city which never sleeps but it didn't feel like a complete home to her yet and maybe never would. Not to mention, that she was just working in a café which was barely enough to live so she needed to get something more permanent very soon. But she had no idea what that could be. Maybe she'd apply to another university, maybe she didn't want to go to college at all. But what were her options anyway?
Ava groaned, throwing a stack of clothes into her closet in frustration, before squatting down again to fold them neatly. She felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jeans and sighed when she saw the name of the person who messaged her blinking in front of her. She opened it and thought about her answer for several minutes before she decided to ignore it for the moment and maybe get back to it later, unsure about her wanting to meet the sender or not.
She furrowed her eyes as she looked at the clock hanging at one of her walls, showing that it was way later than she expected and her mother still hadn't called for dinner yet. She put the last of her belongings in the connected bathroom she shared with her brother and checked her phone to make sure she didn't receive a text from him telling her dinner is ready. Ava didn't realize how hungry she was until she thought about the dishes her mother was probably busy making and her mouth started to water. She really missed good Korean food. There were quite some Korean restaurants in New York but of course nothing tasted as good as her mother's home cooked meals.
Just as she wanted to open her door and check downstairs she heard her mother shout from the kitchen that dinner was finally ready. She opened her door and could already smell the kimchi and meat her mother apparently made and couldn't wait to finally taste it.
“Coming! I'm getting Mark”, Ava shouted back and wanted to knock on Marks door, telling him to come down but the boy who opened the door wasn't her brother.
“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you?”, Johnny asked, seemingly surprised but a small smile appeared on his pretty face.
He hasn't changed a tiny bit. He still looked as gorgeous as three years ago when she left and never heard of him again. His hair was still black but a tad longer than before. It framed the contours of his face just perfectly which made it hard for her to look away and think about how she was mad at him for ignoring her for the past years, even though the last thing she remembered with him was actually something very nice. Or that's at least what she thought it was. Apparently he thought differently and had to treat her like air. Not even daring to step a foot in their house when she came home for spring break once.
“Umm, fine. Are you staying for dinner?”, she asked, trying to sound as calm as possible but she couldn't hide a tint of anger in her voice, yet the anger mixed up with other feelings she was way too bad at hiding.
“Yeah, I invited him. He basically lives here anyway.”, she heard Mark say behind Johnny who didn't seem to sense her displeasure over his invitation. Why do they have to be best friends? She asked herself and secretly hoped for Johnny to disappear or something. But of course that wouldnÄt happen.
“Please, the food gets cold, come down.”, she heard her mother saying from the foot of the stairs with her hands stemmed in her hips, still wearing her red-dotted apron.
“Actually, I'm not hungry.”, Ava said taking a step away from Johnny as his simple presence made her legs feel stupidly weak.
Her statement got quite unbelievable when her stomach started to growl from the heavenly scent of her mother's food.
“Doesn't sound like it.”, Mark said and raised his brow looking at his sister questionably.
“I'm really not hungry and I'm meeting a friend. Can we postpone our family dinner to another time?”, she said while purposely emphasising the term family to show her displeasure about the clearly unwanted guest guest.
Before her mother could answer something Ava ran down the stairs, giving her mother another short kiss before running outside, leaving her house behind.
She took a deep breath before letting out some vulgar curses towards the situation and especially the person causing her to still feel all these things.
Ava pulled out her phone and messaged the only person she could think of, who might get her thoughts somewhere else, even if she might regret it in the morning.
masterlist
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Cheating
You walked in the front door, tripping over shoes and silently cursing. Harry always left his shoes right in the door for you to trip on. You reached down to pick them up but were surprised when you noticed they were a pair of heels, and not your pair of heels. You set the bag of food down on the counter before walking into the bedroom, shoes in hand. “Harry who’s shoes are-” your voice stopped. Harry looked up, panicked, and guilty. The girl in your bed rolled off the side, pulling her pants up and throwing her shirt on. You dropped the shoes and stared. She grabbed them and ran out the front door while Harry got up, walking towards you with his arms in the air.
“(y/n) wait, just please..I can explain.” You didn't say anything, you looked at the red hickey plastered on his neck and turned around walking out. “Baby wait.” He grabbed your wrist and you smacked him across the cheek, tears falling from your eyes.
“Get out. GET OUT HARRY!” you screamed. He stood in front of you shocked. You pushed your hands into his chest. “Harry get out.” You pushed him towards the door.
“Baby-”
“Dont do that. Don't you dare call me baby.”
“(y/n)...” You looked at him, tears falling down your cheeks. 
“You need to leave Harry.” You grabbed his keys off the counter and threw them at him. “I don't care where you go but it needs to be somewhere far away from here.” You turned away from him, walking into the bedroom and locking the door. You collapsed against the door, holding back your sobs in until you heard the front door close. You got up and reached for the bed, freezing when you saw her bra laying in the sheets. You knew you couldn't stay here, you knew thinking about what just happened in YOUR bed would actually make you sick. You also knew that driving was not an option seeing as the tears were clouding your vision and you could barely breathe between the sobs escaping your mouth. You grabbed your phone. There was only one person who lived close enough and wouldn't judge the situation. “Gemma..” you cried into the phone.
“Oh god. What did the idiot do now?”
“Can you come get me? I just don't think I can stay here...”
“Say no more sister, I’ll be there soon.” You quickly threw some clothes into a bag, grabbed your toothbrush, phone charger, and hairbrush. Gemma pulled up, walked in and hugged you. She grabbed your bag and carried it to the car as you locked the door behind you. Thankfully Gemma didn't ask too many questions, she made you a cup of tea and wrapped a blanket around your shoulders. You quietly thanked her and sipped the tea, trying not to think about what had happened. She sat across from you and waited for your breathing to return to normal before talking. “So what do I need to kill Harry for?”
You took a shaky breath, tears returning to your eyes. “He- he” you were crying again and Gemma scooted closer placing her hand on yours. “There was another girl-”
“You don't have to talk about it (y/n)...” Gemma softly smiled at you. “Not until you're ready.. and I won't mention to Harry that youre here or that I know what happened. Stay as long as you need. I really mean it when I say that, you are my sister whether youre with Harry or not.” That made you cry more. You hugged her tightly and smiled.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too girl. Forget my brother, he's an asshole anyway.” You laughed and she smiled. “You can have the guest room, its the door on the left. Make yourself at home, seriously.”
You told her you would as she walked away answering her phone that had been ringing. You grabbed your bag off the floor and dropped it on the bed in the room. You were exhausted at this point, your eyes were so puffy from crying they felt as if they weren't able to stay open. Your throat hurt, your nose was so stuffy you couldn't breathe, and you had a killer headache. You sat on the edge of the bed, tossing your phone on the floor. Harry and texted and called more times than you could count. The door cracked open and you looked up confused, but Olivia ran in jumping on the bed and laying on your lap. Olivia was Gemma’s cat. You and Harry had watched her a few weeks ago when Gemma went out of town, and clearly she remembered you. You scratched her ears before getting up, changing into pjs, and climbing under the covers. Olivia rejoined you, purring slightly as she snuggled with you. You were grateful for the distraction, the soft purr, and the feeling of something snuggled next to you. You didn’t do well sleeping apart from Harry, in fact when he wasnt with you, you barely slept at all. Having Olivia was helping a little though, you were able to fall into a distracted and restless sleep. 
When you woke up the next morning, you felt worse than you had the night before. You felt hungover even though you hadn't had a sip of alcohol. You stumbled into the kitchen where you found Gemma eating a bowl of cereal and scrolling through her phone. “Morning.” you mumbled grabbing a bowl for yourself.
“You look like shit dude.” she said looking up from her phone.
“Well I’m glad because that pretty much how I feel.”
She frowned and held up her phone. “This might cheer you up..” You looked at the article of Harry. He was in his boxers standing on the street, tears streaking down his face, and getting into a car. You just shrugged and sat down. “Come on (y/n) perk up we are doing something fun today.”
“We are?”
“Yes. We are not letting you sulk around the house questioning my brothers dumb life decisions. We are going shopping.”
“In public?”
“Well that's where shops are so yes.”
“I don't think I’m ready.”
“Oh I know you aren't ready. Thats why we are going. Youre not about to feel sorry for yourself all day. Nope. You are going to get Harry off your mind, which is why we will no longer be talking about him, reading about, or thinking about him okay?”
You ate another bite of cereal and nodded. “Fine.” you grudgingly said. She grinned. 
“Good, go get dressed then and wear something cute. You can borrow clothes if you need too.” You finished off your bowl and jumped into the shower. You took a nice long shower, soaking in the hot water and letting your mind relax. You quickly got dressed, applied some makeup and fixed your hair. Gemma was waiting for you in the living room and she smiled when you walked in. “Now that is what I’m talking about. You look like a person!” You laughed and rolled your eyes.
“Whatever.”
“No whatevers. Now, hand me your phone.”
“What? Why?”
“Because Harry has been calling and texting you all morning and all night. Today is a no Harry day. Your phone can stay here.”
“But-”
“(y/n) youre never going to focus on shopping with him calling and texting. Take a break from the media, the rumors, the-”
“The rumors? There are rumors about this now?”
“Technically they are the truth but obviously no one has confirmed it which is why they are rumors still. But anyways everyone is on your side of the argument.” She shook her head “no no, this is a no Harry kind of day. We are not talking about this right now. Now leave the phone.” You followed her instructions, a girls only day is what you needed and you were definitely not ready to think about or talk about Harry. You tossed the phone into the couch and followed her out the door.
You and Gemma spent all day shopping and were finishing the day off with dinner. You had a really great day. Your mind hadn't wandered to Harry once and you hadn't even had the urge to cry once either. It was a winning day. Gemma had ordered you a bottle of wine and the two of you were going to town, laughing and singing at the table. It really was the perfect end to a perfect day. Until in walked Harry’s hoe. You wouldve recognized her anywhere, the fake eyelashes, the dead dying hair, the slutty composure. You stopped laughing and frowned. Gemma followed your gaze and shook her head. “Is that her?”
“Yeah.”
“What a prick. She's not even cute.”
“Im cute, she's ugly, and yet she still slept with Harry.”
“Harry’s a real disappointment. We should talk to her.”
“What? No.”
“Come on (y/n). Go tell her off.”
You stood up. “Youre right. She ruined everything.”
“There ya go.” You took a step forward, your breath catching in your throat. Tears falling down your cheeks. You turned and sat back down. “Im proud of you.”
“Its not her fault. Its Harry’s.”
“Damn right it is.”
“Im not ready to talk to him Gem”
“You don't have to..you need to heal a little before you talk to him. Otherwise youre just going to cry when you see him.”
“Ugh...give me the bottle.” you said reaching your hand out. It was safe to say that you and Gemma were wine drunk by the end of the night. You had finished almost 3 bottles of wine by the time dessert came out and you were having a great time. Gemma had called an uber and the two of you could barely control your laughter at the fact you were wine wasted. When you got home, the two of you were stumbling up the stairs together, leaning on each other and laughing at each others laugh. You opened the front door stepped in and smiled at Olivia. “Olivia!” you shouted through a laugh, Gemma following suit.
“(y/n)..” Harry’s voice whispered. You and Gemma stopped laughing. Harry stepped out from the kitchen, he looked terrible at least from what you could tell. He looked a little blurry, but his face was very red. Gemma stepped forward.
“Harry..you need to go.”
“No what I need is to talk to my girlfriend.”
You started laughing again, earning a confused look from Gemma and Harry. “Girlfriend? Is that what you think we are?”
“Baby..”
“I’m not that dumb. I wouldn't date someone who cheated on me.”
Gemma seemed to have sobered up real quick. She grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him towards the door. “Harry you need to leave.”
“Yeah.” you said stumbling forward. “Leave.”
“Are you drunk?” Harry asked leaning in closer to you.
“I’m wine wasted.” you laughed looking at Gemma who smiled.
“You like rarely even drink though.”
“Clearly not, she had almost 2 bottles at dinner.”
“2 bottles?” Harry look concerned.
“You've driven the girl to drink.”
“(y/n)” Harry’s tone had changed. He seemed to be very concerned.
Youre expression changed. You looked at him closer, you remembered the previous night. Tears formed in your eyes, sobs starting to echo through your chest. Gemma pushed Harry towards the door again, coming to your side. “Harry go. Cant you see you being here is upsetting her.”
“I just want to talk.”
“You can't talk your way out of this one little brother. She needs time.” You dropped to your knees, looking up at him. You were crying again, you couldn't tell if it was because you were drunk or because it had clicked again that Harry had cheated on you, and that he wasnt even yours anymore. Harry watched with a pained expression on his face. “Harry youre upsetting her, just please leave. We were having a great time until you showed up.”
“A great time?” Harry asked turning to her. “You got my girlfriend wasted Gemma.”
“She’s not your girlfriend Harry. You ruined this one. Im trying to fix it, to fix her. But you had to go and screw it up like always.” That made you cry harder. You didn't want them to fight just because of you.
Harry turned and stormed out not saying anything and Gemma kneeled at your side. “Its okay...shhh (y/n) breathe.” You tried breathing but were struggling. Gemma pulled you to your feet and escorted you to your room. She set pjs out and told you change while she was getting some tea. A few minutes later she returned, placing a cup of tea on the bedside table. You had changed and were sitting with your knees to your chest in bed, tears still falling. She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “I’m sorry (y/n)...I really didn't think he would shoe up.”
“Its not your fault. He probably tracked my phone and anyways it was bound to happen eventually.”
“It shouldn't have happened tonight. You said you weren't ready.”
“I don't know I ever will be.” Gemma looked at you surprised. “I love him Gemma. I love him more than I love anything else. But he broke the one promise he swore on. He broke my trust. He killed everything we had. I don't know how to forgive that..”
“You just have to give it time. Time will make it hurt less.” You nodded and yawned. Gemma yawned in response, standing up and saying goodnight. For the first time ever, you picked up your phone scrolling through his texts, listening to his voicemails, reading tweets and catching up. Turns out Harry had made a statement. He had admitted the whole truth to his millions of followers on twitter. Management probably loved that, you thought. He had tagged you in apology tweets, photos, and then of course fan accounts had stepped in. There was a hashtag associated with everything too. Of course, the thing that got you was his last voicemail. He was barely speaking clearly, tears clouding his voice. You could hear the snot in his voice. 
“(y/n)..I’m so sorry. I can't- I can't even apologize enough but baby I love you so much. That was a mistake, a drunken mistake. I broke your trust, I hurt you, but (y/n)...I can't live without you. I don't think I can go on without you. I-I don't know what I need to do to help you forgive me...I don't know if you ever will but baby I won't live in this world without you. I know what I did was screwed up. I know I’m a terrible person. I deserve to put in hell for what I did but just tell me-just tell me theres hope. That theres hope one day I’ll have you back..that one day you could love me again.”
You couldn't breathe. The pain in his voice killed you. You missed him, you wanted to comfort him, and yet you also wanted to kill him for what he did. Your phone buzzed again and you looked down reading the text from Harry. *Just know that I will NEVER stop loving you baby, you will always be my person. Sleep tight, don't let the monsters bite.* You dropped the phone and groaned. Of course he had to tuck you in..he had to be cute. You wiped the tears from your eyes, washed your face, brushed your teeth, of course you spilled water all down the front of your shirt so you also searched for pjs. You couldn't find any. You rummaged through the dresser and came across a large white tshirt. When you unfold it the familiar font caught your eye. It was Harry’s tshirt. It had the heart with his name inside, the album cover on the edge and an arrow going through the heart. You put the shirt to your nose, breathing in his smell. You quickly threw the shirt on, climbing in bed, and falling into a peaceful sleep, Harry on your mind.
---
Let me know what you think :)
Cheated (part 2)
Message me requests! And as always thanks for being awesome with all the support and love! You guys are the best! xoxo
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your--isgayrights · 3 years
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F, M, S :?
Hiiii stella i really liked your new fic just so you know okay hello :))
Gonna put my answers to these under the cut because they’re really long ^_^; thank you for sending me an ask for this but also dont feel obligated to read my long winded answers aslkfjfdsf
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Hmmmm this question is kind of hard because even though I really see myself as someone who likes writing dialogue more than prose, lately most talking I write is like heavily interlaced with like these character actions that are supposed to be indicative of tone, you know? Also I have a lot of dialogue I like that isn’t technically attached to anything yet... uh...
Okay, I like these lines from A Dream in Which Yoo Jonghyuk Plays Mario Kart:
"Kim Dokja." Yoo Jonghyuk says.
"... You're gonna tell me to shut up, right?" Kim Dokja tries to guess from the vast experience he has of this man. "To not worry so much about useless things? To just be here in the moment..."
He trails off on the word moment. His eyes are suddenly far away, clouded with the memory of a destroyed Seoul skyline.
The hand on his shoulder tightens. Just enough to bring him back.
"Eh?" Kim Dokja's eyes refocus, blinking up at a Yoo Jonghyuk who is looking at him in the eye instead of over his shoulder. "Well?" He asks a man whose broad back is now far too sore in the mornings to carry the weight of the world. "Am I right?"
Yoo Jonghyuk does not answer any of the questions that Kim Dokja has posed with a 'yes,' a 'no,' or even a 'shut up.'
He does, however, give his husband a peck on the lips that lasts for just a moment shorter than a dream and conveys the exact same message.
When he pulls away from this kiss, he meets his husband's eyes once more and says five magical words.
"Watch me win Rainbow Road."
Um the thing I’m most proud of here is that I made Yoo Jonghyuk being a gamer anything approaching “romantic.” The “Watch me win Rainbow Road” line is basically the main thing holding this ficlet together as an actual piece of writing akdjfslfjsf. But like I said, a lot of the emotion in the words comes from the deviance from expectation set up around the dialogue rather than the dialogue itself, so I’m not sure if it counts? Fun anyway!
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
Hmmm most of my premises I’ve been trying to adapt somehow into my current WIP, like I had this soosang idea that I thought about adapting as some sort of epilogue? It was like about HSY and YSA being childhood friends and the way that HSY wrote passages in her stories differently based on the way she viewed their relationship. But then like... hmm.
I guess Actual premises would include stuff like “AU where Kim Dokja is there when Yoo Jonghyuk regresses,” which I’m always daydreaming about just a little bit because 1. I kind of want to write YJH perspective on KDJ in the early rounds because I think its hilarious how he probably thinks very highly of him actually and thats SO diffferent from how KDJ views how things are happening, and then 2. VERY funny to have KDJ make the choices he makes confidently in timelines where he doesn’t realize YJH knows about him, or like 3. how KDJ would adapt to YJH knowing about him and whether he has back up plans for that.
My only hang up on that premise is that I’m not going to write it because A. It would take WAY too long for me to flesh out that premise in a way that I was happy with because I’m terrible like that and even slice of life relationship stories have to have like 40k long chapters for me to be happy with development. And then B. It’s definitely a premise that’s been used before, and even though I’m usually cool with doing bland premises with my own spin on them, I think that a lot of people already have like... set opinions on what they think this type of au would look like and mine differs a bit and I don’t want to argue with people on the internet, haha.
Anyway since I’m never going to write it, I can tell you that I think that the climax of my AU would probably be all of the KDJs of every timeline some how reviving YJH at the same time across their parallel timelines. It would show the perspectives of KDJs who were briefly mentioned in YJH’s building angst train, even ones where he was an enemy and in fact killed YJH himself, and other ones where he was a deeply trusted comrade, and we would think that the KDJs are doing some part of the scenario until they all do the same thing at once and it’s revealed what the item they were trying to obtain did. It exchanges his own life for that of YJH’s.
YJH in whatever regression he’s in has this moment of being completely saved, where all of these lifetimes where he died peacefully of old age by his companion’s sides come rushing into him, but even though he realizes Kim Dokja is the one responsible, he has no memory of him making it to the end. So he resolves to spend that last lifetime vowing not to die and to save Kim Dokja no matter what when previously he had given into the regressor depression of only trying to save himself.
Also not about fanfic but uh here’s some songs that I daydream orv amvs to sometimes: A Death - An Unkindness, I’m Gonna Win - Rob Cantor, Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths, Squaring up - Sir Chloe.
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
Ahhh you know I think I’ve said this before that I really like slow burn and long complicated relationships like childhood friends to enemies to friends and or lovers you know, but I’ve been thinking about it recently and realize that I actually do use a lot of fandom-ey tropes! Like it was pointed out to me that my big WIP is very much based on an AU used in other fandoms, and I realize that I really like writing troupes used in fandom in a way that puts my own twist on it,  you know?
Like this is a bit embarassing, but I think the first fics I ever wrote were definitely from me seeing a specific kind of AU being overused in the fandom and wanting to write that AU from what I viewed as like... THE. RIGHT. WAY. to do it asdlkfjsfasfasf. Like the main emotion that actually gets me writing something down is spite alskfjf. Like sorry allos but I don’t understand why they would have kissed there so heres a 50k+ fic where they gaze longingly at each other for a much much longer time okay thanks.
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Life After Snowpiercer: Still Alive
Summery- Curtis (hints of You) makes his way through the cars, and reaches the end to find a surprise waiting for him. Violence. 
If you want to read the story Curtis told Nam, read it here- Past Horrors
Word Count- 2967
Chapter 3 / Masterlist
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“OPEN IT, OPEN THE FUCKING GATE!”
Curtis stood at the final gate, the final mother fucking gate, his palms slapping at it, his boots ramming into it, and his rage, all that rage from the past 17 years, and more recently the two days it took him to fight his way here, so many lives, gone. His revolution had become a blood bath, Gilliam executed, Grey stabbed, Tonya shot, You… well he couldnt even let himself go there, not yet. Edgar, well fuck Edgar he betrayed, having left him laying among the rest, setting out right after the battle of the tunnel, leaving the majority of people behind to care for the dead and wounded. There was no time to stall.  
Hours before in horror he watched the front enders slaughter his people in the television screen,among a car full of children singing praises to the almighty Wilford, the saviour. The armed men entered the gate and were lost from sight. Curtis just felt that all of you were gunned down without a care. No…. He almost broke right then and there, he could see them entering the last car, the one where he supposedly had you kept safe. His breathing picked up, his chest tightened and black stars swarmed in his vision. Then the tv crackled the noises of gunshots and flares of white could be seen coming out of the darkest gateway, all of it so grainy on the screen, but it was picture clear for him. No bodies could be seen, but the way his whole being just shattered into a million biting glass edges, slicing unseen wounds through his mind, he lost you, he couldnt keep you safe after all. Tonya smacked his face. “Curtis snap out of it, you have to lead us”
How can I? Shes gone, they shot her. His mind pieced together an image of your body crumbled in the middle of the aisle, bright red blossoming around you like a opening flower across your back, your hand outreaching for the darkness that might have hid you. Your eyes, the ones hes seen laughing, crying and loving, glassed over sightless, that part that was a persons soul, the spark that brought them life in there eyes, gone. Gone, could it really be? Curtis, she was doomed the day she chose you, and you kept her anyways. Monster. You killed her.
Suddenly Tonya came into his vision again, and beyond her, Minister Mason crumbled on her knees, her rat like face, with those beady eyes and oversized false teeth saying his name “Curtis, I can help you!” The heavy weight of the gun in his palm had a purpose, and it felt FUCKING GOOD just then. Without even a moment in between her words and him registering what the fuck she was pleading for, he marched over and right to her forehead the muzzle settled, her eyes rolling up to look at it in fear, the yellowish whites of her eyes brimming with tears, pupils focused on the muzzle indenting against her forehead. “Curtis pleeease, I beg you!”
His expression, was that of a man who no longer gave a shit what happened to him, his finger squeezed and that bullet, with a little satisfaction for him, drilled through her brain, a splatter of red grazing the entire area. A wipe of his hand across his face, he turned back towards the gate, Nam already working on it. Switching to a new cartridge, he told those still remaining. “We go forward” And just as he came to the gate, Nam got it to swing open, and now this man became the darkest part of himself he could possibly be, the compassion he would show his fellow kind was simply gone. There was no hestitation in his actions. If anyone crossed his path, they were met with cold killing rage.
Now at the final gate, that god damn signature W holding him back from Wilford. Nam tried to stall Curtis, refusing to open that final one for reasons Curtis couldnt understand. His daughter Yona, moaned on a pile of coats, drugged and drunk beyond rational thought, the child was a pitiful sight indeed. “Open the gate Nam, now. Is this what you want?” Curtis emptied his pockets of the kronoles, flinging them at the ex security intel “Take it! Open the fucking gate now!” 
In a moment of weariness, Curtis stumbled to the floor, leaning back against the frame work staring at the door. Nam took some pity on the man and tossed him a smoke “Fucker better enjoy it, its the last one.” What the hell, Curtis thought, and he lit it, taking a stale drag of nicotine he hadnt experienced since he was 16 at a party. Finally he started talking, telling Nam all about how the beginning of his life on the train went. Inside his mind though, was a totally different conversation, his way of saying goodbye he supposed although numb at this point to everything, he could still sense the pain it was causing, vibrating in waves from him. 
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“Hey handsome” Your hands would slide up his chest and circle around his neck. “Almost at the end of the line”
“Appears so Baby” Another drag of smoke escaping from him. 
“I guess were lucky we got this far right? I knew you would Curtis” Plucking his smoke from his lips and taking an inhale, washing the two of you in a billowing nicotine haze. 
“Leave it to you babygirl to find the bright side here.” He chuckled, seeing you now rise to the balls of your feet to kiss him, hell even imaginary your kisses could score a fire to settle in him. How he wished it was real. That you were here, fuck he missed you it was an ache in his chest.”I dont think Im going to be returning… “ His voice drifted off softly. 
“Oh handsome, you know I will find you again, another lifetime. You dont think this is truly the end of us?” 
“No? it seems like it” 
“Handsome, this is just one of many. I love you and we will see each other again. Now go do what you came to do.” you winked and returned the camel between his lips. Stepping away and leaving him alone once more.
Curtis lifted his gaze, asking one last final time. “Open the gate, please” Nam again shook his head, going off in how they MIGHT survive outside of the train, that the snow was melting, there was no need to stay. 
“What are you fucking nuts? go out there and freeze. Leave all these people here, no. Open the GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING DOOR” 
Then like the gate just knew, it clicked open and a flash of yellow stepped out, Nam shot backwards and in Claudes hand was a pistol. Composed as ever, she looked at Curtis. “Wilford will see you now.” 
He simply spared a glance at Nam, whom Yona was wailing and shaking to bring back to her, and he pushed up, and into the room, all cold steel metal and blue glows, along one wall was a kitchen gallery, all dark masculine looking wood work and at the table in the car, sat an older man with intense blue eyes, staring at Curtis while frying his steak, smirking. “Curtis! Lets take a look at you.” Wilford almost sounded joyful, impressed? “You did a mans work coming all the way up here, did you know its been years since anyones walked the entire length of this train. How about you sit down, lets chat.” Claude nudged him towards the seat. With contempt he obliged, sitting down. “Would you believe Ive never been to the tail section?”
Curtis spat out “why the hell not, we to dirty for you in the tail section?”
“You think the engine isnt without its own complications Curtis?” Wilford turned from frying his steak for half a second, fixing Curtis with a look of disappointment. “It gets awful noisy up here, and not many to talk to.” 
Who the fuck does he think he is? Noisy? Trying living with a thousand people in a iron box. “Right, you got steaks, room, and that whore will bring you whatever you want.”
“Curtis, everyone has there preordained position. And everyone is in there place…” Pointing at him with the greasy spatula, the steak starting to smoke and sizzle on the stove top. “Except you.” Turning back he flipped the steaks on a plate. 
“Yea, thats what people with the best place say to those in the worst place. There is not one soul who wouldnt willingly trade places with you.” Damn straight Baby, your voice encouraged him. 
“Would you?” Wilford questioned, seasoning his steak, how in the hell do seasons still exist? Perhaps you werent always the best voice of reasoning. 
“Fuck you” Curtis spat at him with hatred and disgust. 
Wilford sighed, as if exasperated with him. “Curtis, were all stuck on this train, and its a enclosed ecosystem with a fragile balance. Med rare?” Breaking his line of thought, Curtis ignored the question entirely, which Wilford paid no heed to. “population must be kept in balance, everything rigidly maintained. Now there are times… we have to take more drastic measures.” Wilford brought the steaks over, setting one perfectly cooked one in front of Curtis. “we simply dont have time to let natural selection take over, we all would be overcrowded on this train, starving. Remember starving Curtis? It took us a while to get the protein blocks going. I am truly sorry about that.” Wilford cut a bite of his steak and chewed between the rest of his words. “So we occasionally stir the pot to speak. Get things moving… The cast out of the seven, The McGregor Riots, and this one… My new favorite. The Great Curtis Revolution. Nice ring to it, right? The kids will love it” He winked one icy blue eye at Curtis as if it was a big joke between them. “I mean who was to expect you to come through with torches through the  Yekaterina tunnel? Pure genius, nothing like Gilliam or I expected” 
Curtis snapped his head a bit and confusion clouded his face He didnt just say that. “What?”
“Now come on, dont tell me you didnt know, Gilliam and I?” Giving an amused chuckle at Curtis confusion. “Front end and Tail end, we work together Curtis, he was more then a partner, he was my friend.”
“Bullshit, I dont believe you” Curtis stated, there was no way Gilliam was friends with Wilford, the hours the two of them had spent together discussing how to get here. 
A grin crossed Wilfords face “well our plan was that the rebellion was to end at the tunnel. Kill off most of you, send the rest back. Curtis, why do you think Gilliam conditioned you to be the leader after McGregor? Sadly, it was supposed to be your hurrah. Your going out like in that old movie…. Braveheart? Going out in a fight. Your name was to give the remaining tail enders hope. So Gilliam gave you everything you could want back there. No one messed with you, got to keep the pretty girl, no one shamed you for keeping both your hands. Wasnt it nice, be able to hold her with both.” Dont you dare listen to him baby, we chose each other, Your voice echoed and stressed.  A sickness washed over Curtis as these words, Wilford seemed none the wiser over what his words were doing, or he simply didnt care. “Gilliam said you were smart, but he could control you. Sadly he didnt.” Wilford wiped his mouth and tossed the napkin down, not even eating half the steak. “And why he had to pay the price. Im going to miss my friend, our long nightly chats.”
Still in disbelief over the news, Gilliam had been a mentor to him, a father when he needed advice. All those years, and he just fueled Curtis rage for this moment. No one knew that the traitorous snake was the man they all pledged there allegiance to. 
“But your little stunt, well it took out more of the front end then I had hoped, but what fun, right? Its okay, you tail enders throw off brats pretty quickly, we will recover. Theres really just one last thing to do.” Picking up a phone, he pressed a button and waited for an answer. “How many you got left back there?” He listened and looked at Claude “We still at 75 percent?” she gave a nod and he returned to whomever was on the phone “Kill off 75 percent…. actually you know what? In celebration of our 18th year, keep 18 extra alive. Thank you” 
Before he hung up, the barely there sound of gunfire blasted from the phone, and Curtis sprang to his feet. “YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Claude gave off one warning shot, which ricochet the bullet around the room, causing them all to duck momentarily. “God damn it Claude! Mind the engine.” Turning to Curtis who was straightening himself out and at this point ready to get this fucken over with. “God damn high strung woman, cant do nothing with them when they get to that point.” Wilford muttered to himself, going up the steps to check on the cylinders circling. Curtis followed him up, preparing to end this now. Wilford pulling out his own pistol from his robes, he cocked it at Curtis.”Mind your next move son. I got a proposition for ya, you might want to consider.” 
Curtis merely paused cause of the gun pointing at his chest, basic human instinct still riding out his anger. Clenching his jaw, the twitch ticking in tandem, Wilford motioned him forward. “Listen, I like you, you got spunk, You get the job done. I already have a predecessor, but I need someone who can take over Minister Masons place since you disposed of her. About time someone did, I couldnt stand that woman. At the time, she was my finest choice though. You carry out what I need done, I know you have it in you.” Sliding the gun back into his robe when it seemed Curtis was no longer about to attack him. “Once in a while you dispose of some unnecessary lives we no longer have use for, do some intimidation to out of control groups. I will let you stay up front, even bring your girl up here.”
“Shes still alive?” Curtis croaked, the haze of your name clouding his senses, could it be true, was there actually hope?
“What? Of course shes still alive Curtis. First shes a woman, I wouldnt have my men kill off any women her age unless she was unfit to bear children. Even if you werent in the picture I would have her brought up here, resupply the front end. Shes a pretty thing, make someone a good wife. We need to continue the supply after all. Second, shes yours and Gilliam made it clear she was necessary to keep you compliant. Why do you think we allowed you two to play house with those orphans? Her little pet project. Why we never collected those kids, yes I knew all about them all along.” Wilford spoke as if he was doing You and Curtis a major favor. The fucken ass. Curtis could just see you now, the roll of your eyes and arms folding over your chest, Child Bearing Wife? Go Fuck Yourself Wilford.
All this information sunk in, Still alive, You were still alive. He could have you back, it was as simple as saying yes at this point. Sinking to his knees, his hands came to his face, relief watering his eyes and a soft sob broke. Wilford circled the man, whispering to him “Imagine it Curtis, life of luxury up here, have your girl back. You wouldnt ever have to live in a cage per say again. Just follow my orders like a good little soldier. Its really that easy. Minister Everett, sounds fitting right? The tail ender who actually made something of himself. Gilliam would want that for you.” Then he walked away, leaving Curtis all alone, choking on another sob, his hand came to his head and brushed his signature beanie off, rubbing his head.  No Curtis, you are here for a reason, echoes of your voice shouted at him.  “And if I say no?” Wilford snorted with disdain at Curtis, rolling his eyes with exasperation. 
“Im giving you the deal of a life time and you dont want to take it? Fine, I guess I will have her killed Curtis, marched right up here and you can watch her die, or bring her up here and give her away to someone else? You can watch another man have her. Is that a better option. Its either you do this or you die and shes mine.” He gave a shrug. “The choice of your fates is in your hands.” Wilford was no fool, he knew how to work Curtis, already he could see the mans shoulders sink in a sign of defeat. Claude was perched near the gate entrance when it opened, a glance over her shoulder widened her smile, and she stepped aside. “Ahhh, I was wondering where my predecessor had gone off to, its about time you arrived. I was just telling Curtis all about what we set up for him.”
Curtis looked over his shoulder and the familiarity of the man struck him hard, it was like looking at you, your features in this young man was so prominent, he croaked out in disbelief. 
“Matt?!” 
Yes, your brother was still alive, healthy and alive. Dressed in a fine suit, well groomed, the young man smirked at Curtis. “Long time Curtis, good to see you again.”
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@what-is-your-plan-today​ @jtargaryen18​ @curtisbbq​ @p8tn0lish​
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hinasho · 4 years
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isle of the lost vs descendants 1 characterizations
the book ends literally when the movie starts so their personalities cant be that different right? lets see
(similarities posted at the bottom!)
DIFFERENCES:
book: when evil queen goes on about beauty related things, especially in regards to her daughter, usually evie would begrudgingly recite whatever “tip” eq taught her and just go along with what she says. not to say she hated those kinds of things, but whenever her mother brought it up, she never expressed similar excitement or engagement. more often than not she was indifferent to her mother’s beauty antics, and we only see her talk about them in regards to herself in the last few chapters (im not talking abt the mirror incident, but the one liners she’d drop about her appearance here and there) movie: when the parents first tell their kids about going to auradon, eq talks about sprucing her daughter up before she leaves and evie is visibly excited about the makeover. she also goes onto encourage it on others as seen when they’re all in the limo and she tries to put makeup on mal.
book: the villain parents are not friends and we almost never see them together. the one time we saw the parents/adults all together was in the prologue scene for evie’s 6th birthday party. after that they never interact and dont pay each other any mind. this is especially true regarding evil queen and maleficent, as they state in the book that they’ve been at odds ever since they fought over who’d rule the isle. eq has also just been welcomed back into society after being banned by the other, so time-wise, at worst, they are still enemies and, at best, barely tolerable acquaintances. movie: evil queen & maleficent have a significantly close relationship, so much so that eq knows her house like the back of her hand and where maleficent keeps things, specifically that her spellbook is in the fridge. they even have a laugh about how they use to run things before being forced to live on the isle. they seem to be genuinely close. 
put the rest under the cut bc this post is too long lol
book: jafar and jay’s mantra is “whoever has the gold makes the rules” which was significant because it helped them while in the forbidden fortress movie: jafar and jay’s mantra is “there’s no team in I” (while this change was surprising, i also wasn’t that upset abt it bc both book and movie!jay struggle with teamwork)
book: carlos is not athletic at all and goes on about how he hates gym class. he is very focused on stem and doesn’t really care about any other kind’ve hobby. meanwhile jay is athletic and does casual parkour when going anywhere. movie: both of them do extreme parkour in the opening song. im not referring to the dancing ofc, but the extra flips and tricks they do. this is not unusual for jay, but is in regards to carlos.
book: jay isn’t the only one that goes around stealing things, mal very much does it to. at the end of the day they’d even compare how many things they’ve stolen to see who’s the best thief. jay usually wins, but still, both are thieves. movie: when they get to auradon, mal is very confused as to why jay would take the time to steal things and even needs for him to explain why he does it.
book: ben describes audrey as a classic fairy tale princess. she finds all things in auradon lovely and beautiful, and even has a bird land on her finger during their date. while she does think negatively of everyone on the isle, she acts mostly “lovely and sweet” before anything else, and it is not faked. think: giselle from enchanted. movie: idk how else to explain this difference besides “audrey just has a different vibe”. she is more regina george-esque than genuinely cheery, and puts on an obviously fake smile and attitude so often that queen belle expresses distaste for her 
SIMILARITIES:
mal likes art and goes around the isle putting up tags --- (the romance storyline wasn’t bad, but it would’ve been nice to see mal maybe join an art club? or get into painting or smthg else related to her hobby)
carlos is afraid of dogs --- in the book he can’t even say or hear the word bc it’s a trigger for him. he can say “puppies”, but he cannot say the word dog. whereas in the movie, he says the word several times. this is an extremely minor difference to be fair
when they’re afraid/think they’re in danger, they all cling to jay
they’re not used to sunlight 
the ben & mal tension on first meet (and continued infatuation before the cookie scene) --- in the book both characters have had a dream about the other. they didn’t know who the other was, but they remembered the dreams vividly enough that they were able to describe their faces in detail. in the movie when they first meet, both pause on each other several times. it’s likely because of the o’l Disney Romance™️, but it could also be because of curious recognition. 
jay is a flirt/smoother charmer and girls fawn over him
carlos is good with and likes science & technology
mal wanting to prove herself to her mother & the others not being as set on it --- in the book, mal is constantly reminded of the times her mother has called her “not worthy of bearing her own name or of being her daughter” and it causes mal to lose her cool several times. the other VKs also have parental issues ofc, but ones that are not as focused on proving themselves like mal’s are. theirs lean more towards other problems. in the movie she is extremely insistent on reminding them what they’re at auradon for and that this is their “one chance to prove themselves”
the core four freeze in fear when confronted with the reality of their parents’ pasts
mal can touch maleficent’s scepter --- to be fair that dance number in the museum was most likely just mal daydreaming, but still
jay going off on his own/following his own plan --- in the book jay and jafar plan for him to go with mal to the forbidden fortress and then double cross her and steal the scepter for himself, taking it as their “big score”. in the movie when they first see the wand with their own eyes, he runs off in front of everyone and only opens the gate enough for himself to squeeze through. carlos has to open it wider so they can all get through it after him. and once theyre in the same room as the wand, he reaches for it first against mal’s wishes.
carlos is bad at sports --- this is in both the differences & similarities section because, while in the book & movie he’s bad at sports, in the book he also doesnt like them and has no desire to do them as he is completely focused on science & tech. while after some practice in the movie, carlos joins the tourney team alongside jay. (i personally would’ve preferred for him to join a computer or engineering club)
mal can manipulate people with ease (book: evie / movie: jane & ben)
fairy godmother is mainly the one that enforces the “no magic” rule --- beast may have created it, but both in the book & the movie, people/creatures talk about fairy godmother being the one that restricts them
carlos climbs trees/searches for higher ground when afraid
evie knows how to use her looks, specifically her smile, to get the things she wants (book: persuading dr. facilier / movie: getting info out of chad)
audrey likes to dance 
carlos is sarcastic & competitive 
mal cheers up evie when she’s upset 
evie is good with academics
ben wanting to be his own person rather than act like his father --- this was a good continuation from book to movie as ben only realizes he needs to be himself in the final chapters, which he just continues to encourage in the movie. 
mal’s spur of the moment saving tactics
the villains aren’t good with computers/the internet --- the isle canonly doesn’t have wifi and in the movie the villains struggle with the laptop that was most likely given to them from an auradon representative
audrey’s family still being deeply traumatized by what maleficent did 
belle not letting beast talk shit 
mal pitying her mother for what she went through --- in the book: when she sees the past of what happened at aurora’s christening and sympathizes that her mother was nothing but a sad lonely girl. in the movie: the “and i really wish you hadn’t gotten there yourself” line during ben’s coronation
annddd yeah!
honestly there were a lot more similarities than i was expecting, and i am pleasantly surprised! book to movie things dont usually crossover well, but honestly, the first movie didnt do too bad of a job of it. 
tbh i think the one that probably suffered the most was audrey’s character. she really seemed very different from her book counterpart. this isnt to say that book!audrey was a saint and would’ve treated the VKs kindly, but she also wasn’t a fake person and was genuinely that cheery and upbeat all the time. whereas in the movie, it seems like almost nobody likes her (except chad) bc of her “fakeness”. 
i personally think if they were gonna go with the “bad girl and her minion” role, then audrey should’ve been the minion. in the book she was kind’ve an airhead (?? idk she just tended to have her head in the clouds a lot) and if one of the auradon girls told her to act a certain way towards the VKs for the “good of auradon”, i could see her listening to them. i dont know if she’d be the one to come up with the evil deed herself though. 
overall, the continuity flowed pretty well. i wish they didn’t change audrey’s character like they did (they probably could’ve had jane play the role of ‘stuckup girl’ tbh since she was a new character and her mother had a higher position in the kingdom compared to audrey’s parents anyway, so smthg to boast abt), but other than that, the movie’s characterizations were kinda close to the books!
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Chapter 3 - Earth and the Lost Soul
The Butterfly Who Lost Her Wings
Word Count: 3981 | AO3 Mirror | Previous | Next
Summary: Marco returns to Earth and sets out to right a wrong.
✧·゚: *✧·゚:* ☾ *:·゚✧*:·゚✧
A rift in space opened up in the Diaz family’s living room. Marco emerged from it a second later, dimensional scissors in hand. He was exactly where he had intended to land, in the middle of his living room. But only when the portal had disappeared did he realize that he hadn’t fully thought that decision through.
His mother, Angie, immediately noticed his arrival from her standing place in the kitchen. “Marco, you’re home!”
A cold wave of dread washed over him as he caught sight of his mother’s unknowing smile. She threw her arms around him in a hug, but he was completely lost in his thoughts, dismayed by his realization. I’m going to have to be the one to break the news to everyone in Echo Creek…
“Welcome home.”
“Hi, mom.” Marco tried to politely excuse himself to his room, but Angie wasn’t about to let him go so easily.
“Did you get everything figured out with Star?” she asked, letting up on her grasp. “I know she didn’t leave on the best terms.”
He turned around slowly, opting to stare at the wall behind her instead of making eye contact. “Actually… can we talk about it later? I’m really tired.”
Unfortunately, Angie was smarter than that. “Is everything alright?”
“I’m tired,” he repeated. “I’m really, really tired.”
“Marco?” She could only repeat her son’s name as he turned his back and ascended the stairs without responding further. “Marco!”
He shut his bedroom door behind him, trying to listen through the door. When he was certain that his mother hadn’t followed him in an effort to demand answers, he slid down the wall to a seated position on the floor and sighed heavily, his exhaustion finally starting to catch up with him.
His phone in is pocket was being bombarded by incoming messages, now that he’d returned to a place with cell service. He remained there on the floor for several moments before he was able to convince himself to look through his notifications. There were a lot of unread messages from his friends, mostly Jackie. As he was attempting to read through them, he was bombarded by several new texts from Janna.
Janna: yo diaz
are u home yet?
u better answer me
Because of course Janna somehow knew that he was back on Earth. He supposed it really wasn’t all that surprising, once he thought about it. I’m not sure if I’m in the right headspace to put up with this right now…
Marco: Yeah I am, how did you know that?
Janna: not important
ur gf has been harassing me bc u werent responding
next time maybe give some notice before u disappear?
Guilt flooded over him. She had every right to be upset with him, as far as he was concerned. Everyone did. He was the one who left without notice, and aside from a parting message to Jackie—apparently she had still tried to contact him anyways—no one else in his immediate friend group had known where he was.
Marco: I’m really sorry
I didn’t mean to be gone as long as I was
Janna: save your sorries for your gf dude
u cant just disappear for a week w/o warning and pretend nothings changed. shes got every right to be mad if she is
i kinda do too, lucky for u im not the grudge holding type
did star come back with u or is she like staying on mewni or whatever
Marco collapsed backwards onto his bed, defeated. His phone fell out of his hand, currently of little concern to him, now that he was so lost in his thoughts. There’s just no escaping this, is there? Everything had always been about Star, and everything still was about Star. Just as suddenly as she had crashed into his life, she was gone, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, about how the last thing she’d thought to do before disappearing in that explosion was to apologize.
A piece of his world had went with her, and he couldn’t help but feel that he was somehow responsible. There had to have been warning signs, right? Should he have done something differently, or done something sooner? “I hate this,” he murmured aloud, burying his face in his hands. “I hate this…”
Star probably hates this, too, he admitted inwardly. She always did everything in her power to be a positive force in people’s lives. The last thing she’d want is for everyone who cared about her to be moping around. I really hope she knew what she was getting herself into…
He finally spared another glance at his phone.
Janna: ???
Marco: Sorry
I don’t know if I want to talk about it right now, if that’s ok
Janna: yeah sure
if things are awkward between u two now thats ur business, not mine
jackie isnt mad at you fr that btw
Marco: For what?
Janna: uh
at the party?
Oh, right, Marco grimaced. Just before she left for Mewni—and subsequently vanished—Star had confessed her feelings for him in front of everyone at their end-of-the-school-year celebration. Even now, he still couldn’t help but hold some resentment towards her for how hasty that decision of hers had been, especially when she knew he was dating Jackie.
It was almost like she knew that was the last time she’d ever see him, and that her true feelings had been a weight on her chest that she could no longer bear to keep bottled up.
And yet, at the same time, his resentment felt unfair. He had no way of knowing when these feelings of hers had actually emerged, but Star never stopped trying to help him get Jackie’s attention. Even once they were finally dating, Star still went out of her way to include both of them in her lives however she could. As much heartache as it likely caused her, she must have valued their friendship over everything else, if she was able to force herself to put up with it for such a long time.
Conflicted feelings about Star aside, he still had overwhelmingly negative memories associated with that party. He preferred to forget about it where possible.
Marco: Gee, thanks for that, Janna
I’d almost forced that party out of my recent memory, but now it’s back.
Janna: sorry lol
Marco: Why would Jackie be mad at me about that? Star having feelings for me doesn’t change anything
Just wondering why you think that
Janna: i dont, im just repeating what she told me
and she told me she wasnt mad at u, sooo
i dont think shes mad at all tbh? that was a week ago anyways
go talk to her urself dude, im no therapist
Marco: Alright
Thanks, Janna
Janna: no prob
Though he did feel a bit guilty for withholding the truth of the situation from Janna, he swore to himself that he’d be honest about what really happened as soon as he felt able to. Janna was a mixed bag, and even though they were friends—at least, I think we’re friends?—he had no idea how she was going to take the information. He wanted to give himself time to come to terms with it all before trying to explain it to his and Star’s friends.
He had some things he needed to take care of, first. There was someone that he needed to apologize to, more than anything. Hopefully she was home.
His door creaked open, and he slowly made his way back down the staircase. His mother looked up from the book she was reading on the couch, her eyes lighting up with concern. “Marco?”
“I’m gonna go see Jackie,” he said quietly.
“Okay…that’s okay.” Angie stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of him cautiously. “Just… if you need to talk, I’m here for you, sweetie.” She extended her arms in an offering for a hug.
“I know.” He accepted her gesture and rested his head on her shoulder. “I just need to talk to her first.”
He headed out to the garage. It didn’t take long for him to wheel his bike out of the garage and suit up. He never really felt like taking his bike out was all that notable. Nothing would compare to when he tried to teach Star a couple months back, but she—
No, stop it, he told himself, shaking his head as if it would help unscramble his thoughts in any way. Stop thinking about her.
He was sure that the last thing Jackie needed was for him to suddenly show up on her doorstep in tears, especially when he had already done such a terrible job of communicating with her during his impromptu trip to Mewni. His only message to her about the entire situation had been incredibly brief.
Marco: I’m going to Mewni to make sure Star is okay. It sounds like something bad is about to go down there. I’ll be back soon, I promise. Love you
If he could go back in time a week, he would have done a better job of explaining himself. But it’s too late to worry about it now. I just need to focus on the present.
Once he’d shut the garage behind him, he headed off in the direction of Jackie’s house. His gaze rarely lifted from the street, and he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with any neighbors that he passed, out of fear of encountering someone who’d ask questions or demand answers.
It almost felt like some of the color in his life had been leeched away. The only thing that didn’t look any more faded to him was the moon, which was painted a vibrant and shadowy red, slowly climbing its way out of the magenta-colored morning sky—wait, what?
Marco rubbed his eyes fervently in an effort to snap himself out of it, but it didn’t work. No, his fears were completely correct, and he found himself staring up at the Blood Moon, hovering behind the clouds. It wouldn’t be visible for much longer before it sank behind the trees, but the fact of the matter was that it was here. It was still here, lingering in the background like a silent menace. A shudder ran up his spine as he watched it, unable to look away.
The front wheel of his bike suddenly collided forcefully with the curb, threatening to launch him over the handlebars. Miraculously, he managed to plant a foot on the ground to prevent himself from landing in a heap. He let out a trembling exhale as he stared up at it with an intense gaze.
Okay. Why it’s here isn’t important. You’re here to see Jackie, he repeated in his mind, over and over in the hopes that it would stick. She’s worried about you. You haven’t spoken to her in a week. You need to apologize.
With one last fleeting glance at the moon, he backed his bike away from the curb and continued down the road towards Jackie’s house.
✧·゚: *✧·゚:* ♦ *:·゚✧*:·゚✧
“King River has returned.”
Moon’s gaze snapped up from the book on dimensional travel she had been scouring through. Even if she had publicly said that returning Star wasn’t first on her list of priorities, that didn’t mean that she was about to drop all of her efforts. As she viewed it, her status as as queen was an entirely different person from herself. Queen Butterfly was the one who would look after the kingdom, and Moon was going to find a way to contact her daughter. But hearing the news of her husband’s return reminded her that this situation was far too great in scale to look at it in such a black and white way.
“Is he alright?” she demanded, standing up.
The guard nodded. “He appears to be, yes.”
Moon let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. “Thank goodness…”
She left her notes behind and quickly followed after the guard. It was a slightly unusual scene that she walked into, as there were several large eagles perched around the foyer. But her husband was there, too, and that was all that mattered to her in that moment.
“Moon-pie!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. Their common formalities were forgotten as both of them rushed towards each other and met with a tight hug in the center of the room. “I’m so glad that you’ve returned safely.”
“And I you,” Moon murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I didn’t know how much more of this I could take...”
He pulled back from the hug to hold her hands instead. “You know, you really had me worried, leaving so suddenly!”
“I’m so sorry,” she apologized.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do! But if you and Star had to leave so quickly, it must have been serious...”
She’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t cry, but her composure was betraying her. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated, her voice choking up on the last syllable.
River frowned in concern. “Did something happen?”
“I-I tried— but I didn’t— Star, s-she— I couldn’t...” River brought a hand up to cup her cheek, and she met his gaze with sad, watery eyes.
“Moon-pie?”
She lurched forwards and buried her face in his shoulder, holding him close as tears began to flow freely.
The few knights that were left in the room lowered their heads and excused themselves from the room, granting them both some privacy.
✧·゚: *✧·゚:* ☾ *:·゚✧*:·゚✧
After a very brief internal pep talk, Marco was finally able to convince himself to knock on Jackie’s door. As anxious as he was to see her, he tried to focus on the floor as he waited, in the hopes of not overthinking anything.
When the door finally opened and he was face to face with her for the first time in an incredibly long week, he felt a grin take shape on his face. “Hey, Jackie—“
“Marco!” She darted forwards and caught him in a tight hug. “God, I was so worried about you, doofus!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the worst.”
“No you’re not,“ she argued, holding him tighter. “I saw your message… but I sort of hoped you brought your phone anyways, just in case.”
“I can’t exactly get cell service on Mewni. Earth phones don’t work there,” he reminded her, chuckling halfheartedly. She laughed too, and it managed to brighten his smile a little. There was something comforting and familiar about hearing her laugh.
“I know! I know, it’s just… you left without much of a warning at all. First Star, and then you… you guys really scared all of us.”
“I’m really sorry. I should’ve talked to you first. I didn’t mean to make you worry so much.”
“It’s okay, Marco. I know you didn’t mean to.”
A beat of silence passed as he tried to think of what to say and she patiently waited. Where do I even start?
“Do you think we can go sit down and talk about everything? It’s… a long story.”
“Yeah, of course!” She nodded and beckoned him through the door. “Come on in.”
He followed her upstairs—after a brief hello to her parents—and took a seat in her desk chair. She sat down criss-crossed on the foot of her bed and looked at him expectantly.
Jackie was the first one that dared to break the temporary pause. Her voice was cautious. “I take it that something bad happened?”
Marco was surprised by her forwardness. “W-what?”
“I can tell you have bad news, Marco. Well, either that, or something exhausting happened. I can see it in your face.”
“Oh, uh... yeah, your first guess was pretty on point.”
Jackie frowned sympathetically. “I may not know much about this Mewni stuff, but hey, I’m probably easier to vent at than a brick wall, right?” She leaned forwards and put her hands in her lap. “So lay it on me.”
“...How much do you want to hear?”
“Tell me as little or as much as you want to. If it’ll help you feel better, I want to hear it.”
But there’s so much that’s happened! “Gosh, where do I start?”
“The beginning, maybe?”
Marco nodded, and, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he began his story.
“Well... there’s always been a bunch of monsters from Mewni that kept coming after Star. Their leader was named Ludo. He wanted her wand, but him and his lackeys are pretty incompetent, so they never managed to take it. Not until this guy named Toffee came along.”
“Toffee? That’s a weird name…”
“Yeah, I don’t really understand Mewni’s naming conventions, either,” he laughed. “Maybe it’s a normal name there. I mean, to be fair, most of Star’s family is named after celestial bodies, so it’s probably not that weird.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s fair.”
“Anyways, Toffee kind of showed up out of nowhere, and we could tell that this was a lot more serious than what we were used to with Ludo.”
“You didn’t ask anyone for help?”
“Star’s not exactly the type to ask her parents for help, so no, we just kind of dealt with it ourselves.”
Jackie pursed her lip. “That sounds like a really bad idea.”
“In hindsight, yeah, definitely. We had no idea who this guy was.” Queen Butterfly made it sound like he’s pretty infamous, he remembered, silently wishing he had asked for more information on Toffee when he had the chance. “He’s the only one who ever managed to take the wand. He kidnapped me, and then he tricked Star into—“
“Excuse me?!” She interrupted, somewhat outraged. “You got— you can’t just gloss over that!”
“But this isn’t about me!” Marco protested. “I’m perfectly fine now, so it’s no big deal.”
“If you’re that calm about literally getting kidnapped, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with you going to Mewni all the time...”
“It’s not a regular thing, I promise!”
“Okay, okay,” she sighed in defeat. “Fine. What happened there? Besides the whole hostage-taking thing.”
“He used me as blackmail to make Star destroy the wand.”
“I thought you said he wanted to take it?”
“That’s what we thought, initially,” Marco admitted. “He had Star use this really weird spell that set it off like a bomb. The whole castle blew up, Toffee included. We thought it killed him, but… well, it obviously didn’t. He came back.”
Jackie furrowed her brow, thinking for several moments. “Not to insult your storytelling or anything, but I’m really lost.”
“Yeah, I’m, uh... kind of skipping over a lot. Sorry.”
“It’s okay... I know there’s a lot to go over, probably.” She glances around her room once before an idea came to her. “Wait! What was up with the night of the school dance? In the graveyard, when that weird little bird dude showed up.”
“That’s Ludo,” Marco explained briefly. “Long story short... when Star tried to destroy the wand, it actually split it in two. Star kept the first half, and Ludo had the other one. That night in particular was when he stole the spellbook from Star.”
“What does that Toffee guy have to do with this?”
Marco tried to recall as much as he could about the days prior to Star’s disappearance, but the fact of the matter was that he hardly knew anything about Toffee’s involvement with the whole situation. There was obviously a lot more to it, far beyond his own knowledge.
“That spell Star used must have put him inside of the wand. For some reason, she used it again, and she got caught in the blast that time...” He took a pause, having a hard time thinking about those that few moments before she disappeared. “Toffee got out. Wherever the spell put him, it put her in his place. I think that might have been his plan all along.”
He was leaving out a lot of the details—he could tell from the slideshow of emotions on Jackie’s face that she knew his explanation wasn’t quite lining up—but frankly, he could hardly make sense of it, either. Even if he had visited Mewni several times now, everything about it and its magic was otherworldly.  He couldn’t imagine how crazy it sounded to someone who had never even been there.
It wasn’t that unlike the Neverzone, in that way, though Mewni was certainly a lot less intense. A few things had stuck with him once he left—mostly learned skills, like how to drive a dragoncycle or wield a katana—but all the rest of his memories of that place had faded in a matter of weeks. He supposed it was time shenanigans of some sort, but it was still weird to him that he had acquired these skills when he didn’t remember practicing them at all.
Jackie had remained silent, mulling over his words. In the temporary break in conversation, Marco went on, saying, “Apparently this guy has been involved with Star’s family in the past, but I don’t really know how.”
Finally, she spoke up, offering an idea of her own. “Can’t someone use the same spell, or something? Anything at all?”
Marco shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that simple. The wand seems to be broken for good now, and I think that’s the only way to get to where she is.” He stared at the floor as he was reminded of just how dire this situation was. “She’s trapped in a dimension that no one can get to, and… I can’t tell if that’s worse.”
Jackie immediately dipped her head in understanding, and her sadness was apparent on her face. “Gosh, this really sucks.”
“That’s a heck of an understatement.”
“You were there when this happened? I can’t imagine how hard that was.”
He nodded once, averting his gaze from her when he felt his eyes begin to tear up again. “It should be so easy, but it’s not… everything that could have possibly gone wrong did go wrong.”
Despite his efforts to hide it, Jackie was quick to notice his defensiveness. “Hey... come here.”
He hesitated for several second before finding the energy to move. When he got up, she stood as well and met him halfway in a hug.
“I-if I had known that was the last conversation I was going to get to have with her,” Marco mumbled, his voice never rising above a whisper, “I, I wouldn’t have just let her leave without—“
Wordlessly, Jackie pulled him in tighter, resting her head against his shoulder. “I know,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry.” Marco could tell from her tone of voice that she was upset, even if she wasn’t really showing it in the same way he was.
In that moment, he felt awful for subjecting her to all of it. She and Star knew each other, of course—it was hard for anyone not to be charmed by Star’s infectious personality—but he wasn’t sure if him dumping all of the information on her without warning was a fair way to relay it. I hope she doesn’t feel guilty about what happened.
Nobody should have felt responsible. Not Jackie, not Janna, not Marco. It felt awful to admit it, but Star had been a victim of bad circumstance, and that was all. It wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t supposed to be a mind reader.
A shudder went up his spine. But why do I feel so guilty?
“I’m so glad you’re here, Jackie,” he said, attempting to redirect his thoughts.
“And I’m glad you’re back,” she replied. “I’m so happy that you’re safe.”
At least he didn’t have to wake up for school tomorrow. That was something he didn’t think he could manage.
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viktorfm · 4 years
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(MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL, NONBINARY) - Have you seen VIKTOR SAMUELS? VIKTOR is in HIS/THEIR SENIOR year. The VISUAL ARTS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say HE/THEY are OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT and DEPENDENT. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR THERAPIST. (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)
dont. look at me. i know. anyways if it wasnt obvs i abandoned cupid (n darrow) in order 2 bring the two ocs tht he ws inspired by n ws a combination of bt. theyre better as different ppl methinks.
DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS TW
aesthetic.
old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.
basics.
full name: viktor phillip samuels
nickname(s): icky vicky :/
b.o.d. - january 2nd, 1996
label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.
height: 6′1″
hometown: preaker, vermont
sexuality: pansexual uwu
pinterest
stats
favorite song: disorder, joy division / it’s getting faster, moving faster / now it’s getting out of hand / on the tenth floor, down the back stairs / it’s a no man’s land / lights are flashing, cars are crashing / getting frequent now / i’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling / let it out somehow
background.
born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in preaker, vermont - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.
was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.
as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.
always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.
drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.
just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.
being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.
in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.
his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3d art ap course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.
because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.
not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to yates but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!
he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.
has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.
if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.
( tw death, grief, overdose / hospitalization beyond this point )
when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.
and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.
afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.
his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)
tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.
came back to yates to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.
is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.
personality & facts.
the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!
a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.
can appreciate the ~urban legends~ at yates and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.
fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.
they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao
like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.
despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.
the preacher’s whore son, basically :)
pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.
vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all their money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.
will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.
they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away hbdsjfngkh
will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.
will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.
that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.
emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.
will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.
but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.
they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.
likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a twig but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)
probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.
generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.
i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/
an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.
pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!
wanted connections.
religious trauma? oh worm ;; three cheers fr <3 guilt <3 anyways uh. just people tht viktor hs known thru the church in some way even tho hes a fkn. freak now. maybe even family friends. 
the horror of our love :/ ;; hmm. any romance tht cld b toxic i think this cld fit. just rly a bad fit. viktor doesnt rly know hw to love so nothing rly lasts bt. maybe they try n try n nothing works bt they keep trying. cld also just be anything unrequited.
little fkn gremlins ;; theyre all evil n mean. bt theyre all friends. <3 
you are nothing ;; uuh. enemy plots. spicy enemies. rly bad enemies. rivals. they r brutal towards each other bcos nothing viktor does is ever soft.
fuck u dont pity me ;; uh. people who try to get close to viktor n he just. bites at them. he’s like no. bc he assumes ppl who r kind in response 2 his vileness r. theres smth wrong w them. n it might hv to do with pity. n he hates pity.
ugh. locals x ;; ppl who also grew up around preaker, vermont. the samuels r <3 well known folks n the uh. hm. the murder is an ongoing case. so they cld know abt it <3
dont tell anybody x ;; this is for soft plots. i dont know much about soft plots but. 
maybe i am part of the problem ;; the problem is chlamydiagate. this is a hook-ups connection. fwbs n one night stands. ppl viktor hs brutally ghosted. he doesnt acknowledge their existence outside of these events, perhaps. 
dont u just wna go apeshit ;; this is where viktor becomes a bad influence.
bt uh. anything. pelase
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