#when i was a kid i spent a lot of time in school counselor offices. lmao. &my high school counselor referred to this issue as being

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#so i do this thing where i. dont process emotions. correctly. lmao. which im sure is not extremely obvious. lmao. #when i was a kid i spent a lot of time in school counselor offices. lmao. &my high school counselor referred to this issue as being #an 'emotional cripple'. lmaoooo. she referred to the total fucking meltdowns that these times would culminate in as #'a dam bursting'.mao. which i guess was correct i spent a lot of time on conduct probation bc of those little... episodes. lmao. #... (&like all 4yrs on academic probation bc of the much longer stints of mental instability that makes effort of any sort impossible LMAO) #so anyway i started using media to force emotional response to speedrun the trial of processing my emotions #bc once you start crying or screaming or whatever it doesnt really matter what started it; work yourself up enough #&youll end up at the place where it all ends. &begins. &needs to be unraveled or chopped in half. lmao. #&i never stopped using this tactic bc if it aint broke dont fix it LMAO. #so after kicking the process off w millers books ive listened to warsan shires bandcamp almost nonstop #&just finished rewatching the hxh chimera ant arc lmaoooo. #ALMOST. IM ALMOST THERE. I KNOW IT. just a little more force&ill be balanced again i know it. #summer is here i dont have time for this anymore lmao.

[obsessedelusional]

Camp Counselor Munson

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary ✦ You’ve been attending summer camp since forever. This year a new camp counselor joins, it’s Eddie. You’re the cheer captain, he’s the town freak. What could possibly happen between you two?Modern AU Contains smut

word count ✦ 4,800ish

authors note ✦ I love Eddie so much ): this took me forever for whatever reason lol hope y’all enjoy

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

This was your seventh year attending Camp Summer Haven. You've been here a few weeks out of every summer vacation since you were 11. Now at 18 years old, headed into your senior year of high school, you were too old to be just an attendee. Since you turned 16 you have been volunteering as a camp counselor. All you really had to do was make sure the six girls you were in charge of didn't miss activities and they made it through the two weeks alive.

You had grown to love this place it was an escape from the real world. Two whole weeks with friends you only seen once a year. With the no phone rule you were able to make actual connections with these people. As the cheer captain at Hawkins a lot of your friendships felt forced. For two weeks you weren’t one of the most popular girls, just another girl at camp. A few of the kids also went to your school but as you got older they stopped showing up. Which you were grateful for, you already spent all school year around them. That was more than enough for you.

"Okay guys, go get settled in your cabins," Trevor, one of the camp leaders, announces to the group of camp counselors in front of him, you included.

"The kids should be here in an hour. When they arrive please make your way to the entrance building so we can get the kids split up between everyone." He explains, passing out the cabin keys. You all nod in agreement before he takes off. Your key lets you know you'd be staying in the Cabin nine, the one the farthest away from everything. Great you mumble to yourself, annoyed.

"Yes! I got cabin two." Jessie cheers.

"Which one did you get?" She asks when she notices your sour attitude.

"Nine," You groaned. Everyone knew that cabin nine was the farthest away so usually the most neglected. Also rarely did it entice camp leaders to make the trek out there. Meaning you could possibly get away with more but that didn't matter because you never tried to get away with anything especially with six kids staying with you.

"Sorry chica," Jessie laughs.

"I'll be fine. Just late to everything." You joke back. You two had gotten extremely close several summers back.

"Well once you get settled in were all gonna meet up at the rec hall and catch up till the kids get here." She smiles when you agree and then you both part ways. Making the long walk to cabin nine.

—

About thirty minutes later your on your way to the rec hall. You changed into your Camp Haven get up. A t-shirt with the green and orange logo and the matching shorts. As a camp counselor you had a few different options to wear, you usually wore the shorts because if you were being entirely honest you liked the way you ass looked in them.

When you enter into the rec hall a few of the girls are standing around in a circle, whispering.

"What are we talking about?" You ask infiltrating their group discussion.

"The newest camp leader." Jessie chimes, her tone of voice leading you to believe he must be hot. You follow her finger where she points to Trevor speaking to the long haired, tattooed camp leader.

"Oooh," you coo agreeing with Jessie, he was fine. At least from behind, his jean so perfectly hugging his butt.

"What do we know? What's his name?" You ask, needing to know all details.

"His paperwork said Edward." Lucy answers your question, she spent most of her time helping in the office so she was the go to for all information.

"That's a ugly name." Lacey laughs. Lucy and Lacey were basically twins always attached at hips. Blonde hair, blue eyes; borderline perfect.

"Maybe he goes by Eddie." Jessie suggests and that's when all the pieces start to connect. You groan outwardly when you realize its none other than Eddie Munson. The long haired "freak" who would make a fool of him self on a daily bases at school.

"What?" Jessie asks at your groan.

"He goes to my school."

"No fucking way." Jessie chirps, all the girls attention on you now.

"Unfortunately yes."

"Girl he is so fine. Why are you so distraught?" Lucy asks, puzzled by my reaction.

"If you went to school with him you'd understand." You tried not to judge anyone but its pretty hard when he's jumping on lunch tables hissing at the jocks, some your friends unfortunately.

"Whatever. I call dibs." Lucy laughs and you listen as they all argue over who gets to claim him. Lucy was known for sleeping around with the male counselors, rumors starting when she was 15. So she'd probably get him, she always got what she wanted.

The bickering comes to a halt when Trevor leads Eddie to the group of girls to introduce him. "Girls this is Eddie he'll be our newest Camp Leader. He’s going to be heading a guitar class.”

You watch the girls as they introduce themselves all basically throwing them selves at Eddie. You can’t help but roll your eyes at them only for your attention to be drawn back to Trevor when he calls on you.

“He says he’s goes to Hawkins, isn’t that where you go?” Your eyes move from Trevor to Eddie, who’s already staring at you.

“Yes it is.” You smile making eye contact with Eddie. You had never been this close before, his eyes were breathtaking. So much that you don’t hear Trevor’s words so he says your name again this time louder.

“Sorry what?” You ask face red giving your full attention to Trevor.

“I was saying maybe you could show him around.” You nod in agreement, eyes wondering to Eddie once again. He’s actively listening to Trevor explain whatever he’s explaining. You’re too busy admiring Eddie’s features up close to listen to the words. Only to be startled when he snaps his eyes towards you, smiling because he caught you staring at him.

“Oh I think I left your cabin key in the office. Follow me and I’ll grab it for you." Trevor says to Eddie before instructing you to stay put so Eddie can find you when they’re done. You nod yes before they leave you alone with the girls again.

“What the fuck was that?” Jessie laughs the question obviously directed at you.

“What?” You ask playing dumb.

“You we’re one second away from full on drooling.” She says, everyone’s eyes on you.

“Sorry he’s so pretty?” You say as a question.

“He was totally checking you out.” Lacey says while Lucy looks pissed.

"Does not matter I called dibs." Lucy snorts.

"You can't call dibs on a whole ass human." Jessie responds, her tone annoyed.

"Still doesn't matter not like he'd want anything to do with her." Lucy says like your not standing right there. Before you can respond for yourself Jessie speaks over you going off on her. Out of the corner of your eye you see Eddie let himself back into the room, the other girls entirely unaware. You make your way towards him leading back out the door he just came through.

“What was that about?” He asks, backpack and a sports bag in hand.

“Just Lucy be her usual terrible self. She’s kind of the worst.” You admit.

“She gives off that vibe.” He laughs, the two of you walking down the dirt walkway.

“We’ll you better be careful your her next victim.” He looks at you confused.

“She called dibs on you.” You further explain.

“Dibs on me?”

“She wants you. Thinks your so fine.” You laugh mocking her bitchy tone.

“I’m good.” He laughs.

“Good.” You say before asking which cabin he got stuck in.

“So what brings you to Camp Summer Haven? You’ve never gave off summer camp energy?” You ask, leading him to his cabin.

“Joey at the music store told me I could make extra cash this summer teaching kids to play guitar.” He explains.

“You’re getting paid?” You ask acting like your upset.

“You’re not?” He asks.

“No I’ve been going here since I was ten now I volunteer.” You explain.

“You don’t give off summer camp energy either.” He responds.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” You smile, walking ahead of him.

—

Eddie follows you around as you show him to his cabin. Where he unloads all his belongings while you sit outside waiting. After that you continue your tour highlighting all the most important places.

“This is the cafeteria. If you’re ever in need of a late night treat I can teach you how to sneak in through a window in the kitchen.” You motion to the window that sits above the sink, the lock has been broken for years. The camp too oblivious to notice.

“Is that an invite?” He asks.

“Perhaps. Promise you won’t say anything. If they find out the lock is broken I don’t think I could ever forgive you.” You tease, sort of joking.

“I promise.” He laughs.

“Good. The ice cream is to die for.”

—

After your tour is over you two head to the front gate to greet the kids. All the camp leaders and counselors are gathered. Trevor quickly approaches the two of you. The two of them start a conversation while you notice Lucy shooting you a dirty look. You slip away from them to find Jessie. She sits at a picnic table with other people so you join her. Mostly sitting in silence listening to everyone else talk.

Shortly after a couple busses filled with children start to show up. Once they’re all off and waiting, Trevor gives his pre camp speech. Letting the children know to get in a single file line so they can check in, turn their phones in and retrieve their cabin number. You end up with six younger girls. You introduce your self to them and they take turns introducing themselves as you all make the trek to Cabin 9.

“So where’s everyone from?” You ask trying to get to know the kids. They all speak at once, firing off their hometowns. Some of them look familiar from previous years, the oldest whose 15 lets you know she’s from Hawkins too. Her names Mandy.

“Hawkins? Do you go to Hawkins High cause I do and I think I don’t recognize you.” You admit.

“Probably cause your one of those stuck up cheerleaders. No you’re actually the queen of the stupid cheerleaders.” She retorts, her eyes rolling back into her head.

“Okay.. just gonna try my best to not get offended by that.” You laugh as an attempt to lighten to mood.

“Whatever.” She says, attitude apparent in her tone. She doesn’t respond again so you continue to converse with the other girls. Pointing out significant places to know while staying at Camp Summer Haven. Once you arrive to Cabin 9, you continue small talk. The clock on the cabin wall lets you know, it’s nearly time for the first get to together.

Everyone slowly shows up in the recreation center, sitting in circles taking turns saying their name, age and fact about themselves. Switching every five minutes as an attempt to have everyone get to know each other. You catch Eddie more than once staring. Or maybe he was catching you staring at him. Who knows?

“Everyone switch!” Trevor yells, so everyone listens. Your with Jessie’s group now, you quickly make you way to her. She leads the activity as you sit back and let her. The kids begin, one after another. You’re not paying any attention, too busy trying to see if Eddie’s back looking at you.

“Girl Lucy is fuming,” Jessie laughs.

“Why?”

“Because she’s trying to get Eddie’s attention but he’s too busy checking you out.” She says, pointing over to where Lucy is sat. Her annoyed face tells you everything you need to know.

“That’s a shame.” You tease, laughing.

—

Dinner rolls around and your group of girls follows you to the cafeteria where you all wait in line. You notice Eddie’s already here sat at a table. When he catches you he smiles and waves, you shoot him a shy smile. Confused why he’s got you feeling this way.

“Disgusting.” Mandy says to you, actually the first thing she’s said to you in hours.

“What?” You ask.

“The way your practically drooling over him.”

“I’m not.” You lie.

“You totally are.” Another girl chimes in, a few years younger than Mandy.

“It’s okay though, he’s so cute.” She adds causing the other girls into a fit of laughter. Only Mandy doesn’t laugh, rolling her eyes for the millionth time.

The line moves slowly but eventually you have your dinner. You follow the girls to where they want to sit, when in reality you kinda really want to sit near Eddie. Your too distracted following the young one ahead of you to notice, the leg that stretches out to trip you. You fall forward, your plate goes flying as you hit the ground with a loud thud. Silence falls over the room. You look up where the leg came from, it’s none other than Lucy. She’s sat there giggling, along with Lacey.

“You should really watch where your walking.” She snickers as you attempt to pick yourself up off the floor. Her plan backfires entirely because a pair of hands lead you up, your greeted by those chocolate brown eyes you haven’t stopped thinking about since you first seen them today.

“You good?” He asks as you get back on your feet, wiping away the dust that sticks to your shirt.

“I am now.” You say and it comes out more flirty than you had intended. Doesn’t matter because the smile that spreads across his lips makes it all worth it. He helps you clean up the mess Lucy created, walking to the trash can with you.

“Thanks for the help.”

“I saw her trip you.”

“That’s Lucy for you.” You respond, looking over to where she’s sat. Her eyes already on you, giving you the nastiest look.

“What did you do to make her feel the need to trip you?” He asks, bringing your attention back to him. You could either play dumb or tell him the exact truth.

“She’s jealous.” His face tells you he wants to know more.

“She thinks there’s something going on between us. She called dibs, remember?”

“Is there?” He asks, shocking you a tad.

“Maybe.” He nods his head, trying to rack his brain. How he came to some random summer camp only for Hawkins Highs Queen to be here, lowkey flirting with him.

“If there is, maybe you’d want to sit with me for dinner. Really stick it to her.” He teases, you bite your lip thinking. Trying to decide what you should do. If anyone from school knew you were throwing yourself at Eddie “The Freak” Munson it’d be social suicide. For the most part you want to believe that you don’t care what they think.

“Yeah let’s do that.” You respond finally.

“Let me grab another plate and then I’ll be there.” You add before leaving to replace the food that was wasted. Once you’ve done that, you race to Eddie’s table sitting right next to him. You smile at Lucy before letting yourself scoot closer to Eddie. He looks down at you with a smile before continuing his conversation with whoever.

“Really Eddie?” You recognize the voice, it’s Mandy.

“What?” He responds.

“You’re just gonna forgive her? She’s the queen of all the people that treat you like dog shit.”

“Mandy stop.” Eddie demands.

“No it’s bullshit.” Mandy yells before standing up and leaving the table.

“Sorry. She’s my cousin, when her mom found out I was working at this camp. She thought it’d be good for her. If you couldn’t tell she has some anger issues.” He explains.

“She’s right though, my friends are dick heads. I’m sorry.” You contemplate leaving, embarrassed.

“You’ve never been a dick. That’s all that matters.” Eddie says, giving you a reassuring smile. When you can’t come up with a response, he continues.

“You’ve been nothing but kind to me. If you promise not to judge me for what other people have to say about me. I promise to not judge you because of your stupid friends.” You sit momentarily, trying to take in everything he just said.

“Deal.” You respond, smiling. You two continue the conversation with small talk, nothing too deep. Eventually people sit around you guys, taking Eddie’s attention away from you. So you listen and watch Eddie intently when he talks, nodding every so often.

Dinner is over, you and Eddie walk out of the cafeteria. It’s nearly 9pm, time to call it quits for the day.

“So we sneaking in tonight to get some ice cream?” He asks, reminding you that you had offered that earlier in the day.

“Yes let’s meet by the window at 11. Usually by then it’s safe.” You smile before separating. Mandy and the girls follow shortly behind. They are not so quietly whispering about Eddie and you. How they ship the two of you, while Mandy disagrees. Bringing a small smile to your lips, shook that Eddie Munson is the one causing you to be so giddy.

—

11:10

“Where is that-“ You say aloud, getting interrupted and spooked all at the same time. Eddie is finally here.

“Hey,” he smiles, trying his best not to laugh at how he startled you.

“Sorry I’m late. Trevor showed up to my cabin, wanting to talk about tomorrow.” Eddie apologies.

“It’s fine, your here now.” You respond, pushing the window open. It was much easier when you were younger, to slip in. Now you had help because all of a sudden Eddie’s hands are guiding you in. In that moment your extremely grateful he can’t see your face. Realizing quickly your ass is not full display as you climb in. Once in, you jump with a thud off the counter. Turning to face Eddie who has no problem making his way through the window.

“It’s in here,” you speak, walking over to the freezer. Eddie shuts the window before following you. You pull out two ice cream sandwiches. Sitting down, letting your back slide down the wall in the process. You look up to Eddie who’s looking down at you with a smile. Handing the second ice cream sandwich over as his sits down next to you.

Eddie is the first to start eating, you follow his lead. There’s an borderline uncomfortable silence between you two as you realize you two are alone.

“This is some good ice cream.” Eddie speaks up, breaking the silence. You face him, watching him go to town on the ice cream. Bringing a small laugh to you. Before you can even get in a second bite, his is all gone.

“You got something on your face.” You point to the chocolate that sits on his upper lip.

“If this some sick ploy to kiss me, I won’t stop you.” He says with a smug grin.

“Damn I wish I thought of that.” You tease back, taking another bite of your ice cream.

“You convinced me to come to this secluded area, all alone. Dark as fuck. Either you want me or you want to murder me.” He says, your response is laughter. Laughing harder than you laughed in a while. Only stopping when you remember you’re not suppose to be in here.

“I’m gonna murder you actually.” You respond, flatly. Finishing off your ice cream as Eddie talks.

“Makes sense. Hot cheerleader seducing the schools freak for some sick murder ritual, sacrifice type shit.” He let’s out a defeated sigh, sitting back as if he’s ready to be murdered sending you into a fit out laughter again.

“I wasn’t joking though you got something right there.” You say before doing the unthinkable. Something you could of ever imagined yourself doing in a billion years. You close the space between the two of you, pressing your lips into his. Shock radiated through Eddie’s body, causing you to pull away feeling as if you did something bad.

“I’m sorry I thought-“ You apologize.

“No don’t apologize. I was not expecting that. You’re you and I’m me, that doesn’t happen. At least not to me.” He laughs, fixing his posture so he’s sat up.

“Well it did happen.” You say.

“Can it happen again? This time I’ll be ready.” He reassures you with that stupid little grin on his face. With a roll of your eyes, you go in for a second kiss. This time Eddie wastes no time kissing you back, hands finding the back of your head pulling you in deeper. The position isn’t the most comfortable so you hook your leg over the both of his, letting your self sit on him. Hid tongue reaches your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You let it in, your tongues fighting for dominance. His hands move to your hips, pushing you down on his growing boner. A sweet moan leaves your lips at the friction.

“Fuck,” Eddie groans, pulling away from your kiss to catch his breath. Also to attempt to wrap his mind around what happening, he’s in the process of hooking up with Hawkin High head cheerleader. What the actual fuck?

“What?” You asks innocently.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? What if we get caught?” He responds with another question.

“Not Eddie Munson worried about being caught.” You say, laughing still sat in his lap.

“I mean like I was specifically told to not fraternize with the camp volunteers. That’s exactly what this is.” He says, worry in his voice.

“But I want to fraternize with you.” You respond, biting your lip. Worried that maybe you miss read the situation.

“Fuck it,” he says before kissing you again. This time more forcefully, palming the meat of your thighs with his hands. You start grinding ever so slightly on the tent in Eddie’s shorts. The feeling of his hard member feel great between the thin clothes you two wear. Eddie is the one to pull away so he can speak.

“If you keep that up I’m gonna cum.” He admits, his voice breathy.

“Can’t have that yet.” You smile, temporarily backing away from Eddie. You pull at Eddie’s shorts, bring his boxers with them. He sits up quickly in a attempt to help you slide them off easier. Letting them rest at his ankles, you had every intention of riding him. You grasp his cock, pumping it slowly. Watching him squirm under you touch, you’re enjoying this way too much.

“Not fair, you’re not nearly as naked as me.” Eddie pouts his bottom lip. You laugh in response before pulling away from his dick, lifting you shirt up over your head. Eddie reaches around you to unbuckle you bra, watching intently as it falls exposing your tits. Eddie goes blank for a few moments just starting at the view presented in front of him. You shimmy out of your shorts. Your bare body on full display.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He manages to get out, lost for words. Still not believing whats happening right now.

“You can touch me ya know?” You laugh at the fact that’s he’s been sat here gawking at you when he could be touching the real deal. It’s like a light bulb goes off in his head, his brain finally catching up with his eyes. Reaching for you, pulling you back on top of him. His mouth finds you nipple, licking it softly causing a small moan leave your lips. You wet cunt rests on top of his cock, begging for some friction. The sound of your nipple leaving Eddie’s mouth makes a pop sound.

You lift your self up just enough to align his cock with your hole. Eddie watches in amazement as you slowly sit on his cock, letting him fill you up completely. The stretch hurts a bit but you’re taking him so good. His hands rest on your hips, waiting patiently for your next move. You start off slow, grinding on Eddie’s cock. Your hands are on his chest, he’s under you letting obscenities leave his mouth.

You’re pace picks up, Eddie’s hands guiding your hips faster. He starts bucking up into you, hitting you right where it feels the best. Moans continually leave your mouth, letting Eddie know just how good he’s making you feel.

“Get on you back.” He demands, his voice deep. You listen getting off of him and laying on the floor, using your bundle of clothes as a make shift pillow. Before you know it Eddie is between you legs, holding his cock to your entrance. He slams into you, wasting no time pounding into you a brutal pace.

“Play with yourself,” he says and it nearly comes out as a growl. You do exactly what he says, finding you clit with your fingers. Rushing circles around in. The mixture of his relentless pounding and the new clitoral stimulation is almost too much.

“Just like that.” He grunts, switching up his angle ever so slightly. This new angle is just what you needed because shortly after, you’re cumming. Your coming undone on his cock, he never slows only pumps into you harder. Not long before he’s pulling out and finishing on your belly, falling next to you. Both of you lay their in silence for a moment, breathing heavily.

“Fuck,” he says barley audible. You lazily nod in respond unable to respond with words. Eddie stands up throwing his clothes back on, finding something to wipe you clean with. He helps you put your clothing back on, placing a small kiss on your lips one last time.

—

The next day is filled with glances between Eddie and you, whispering to each other in passing. Promises to meet up that night. It turns into an almost nightly event, meeting up in the cafeteria to each ice cream and fuck. Your feelings quickly grow for him, his growing just a fast. The last day of camp ends with you two agreeing to go on a real date once back in Hawkins.

The rest of summer is spent avoiding your friends to be with Eddie in private. Occasionally inviting Mandy along so she can learn to like you, maybe one day. Just a few days ago she came over to watch a movie and didn’t roll her eyes when you spoke. Not even once. You considered that a sign of progress.

Your anxieties grow as the first day of your senior year approaches. Eddie can’t help but wonder what your going to do when school starts up again. Part of him terrified it’ll be the end of you two. You don’t want it to end but you worry what will happen if everyone found out you two were dating. In the end deciding your best bet is to invite Eddie to the last summer party of the year, it’s a annual tradition. The last Saturday before school starts everyone meets at the lake, gets drunk and makes fools of themselves.

“You sure you want to do this?” Eddie asks noticing your stress.

“Yeah I do.” You attempt to smile reassuringly, failing in the process. You two are sat in his van, the party is going on in front of you. It’s not too late to dip, no one’s noticed you yet.

“It’ll be okay.” You say, not believing your own words. Eddie hops out of the van before you can you get out, you hear the sound of a jock approaching the van.

“What the fuck are you doing here Munson?” You quickly hop out, approaching the two men. More basketball players appearing. Walking up behind Eddie, you intertwine your fingers tightly squeezing tightly.

“He’s here with me.” You respond, everyone looking at you like your crazy. Ignoring them you walk right past, Eddie follows behind you closely. Towards the bonfire you see some of your friends, they’re cheerleaders too.

“Hey…” Their voices trail off when they see who’s with you.

“Y’all know Eddie right? He’s my boyfriend.” You say, smiling softly. He waves to your friends, they’re unsure if they should believe this.

“Interesting duo.” One responds.

“How’d you meet?” Another asks, eyes full of judgement. You explain politely. Their faces tell you all you need to know. They don’t approve of your new relationship. No one brave enough to tell the head cheerleader. After a short time of small talk, you find a seat for you and Eddie near the fire.

“That wasn’t so bad.” He says. You lay you head on his shoulder, hand finding his.

“They’ll come around.” You smile.

“And if they don’t?”

“They will. They just need to get to know you, learn to appreciate you like I do.” You explain, kissing Eddie publicly for the first time. Not realizing in the moment that everyone’s eyes are on you two, whispering about the cheerleader dating the town freak.

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[pbandjesse]

It was wildly windy today. Scary at times! But it wasn't a terrible day. I was just very tired.

I fell asleep easier last night but waking up was very tough. I let myself sleep in until 730. And I left late but it was okay. I was moving really slowly. James was getting ready to go for a bike ride and I gave them a big hug but I really didn't want to leave so I didn't let myself wait for them to leave with me and left as soon as I was ready.

My lip is much more swollen but doesn't hurt as bad. Keeping it covered is helping and I found cutting a fabric bandaid seems to be the best way to cover it right now. Eating with a bandaid on my lip is impossible but I didn't have to change it as many times so I'm happy about that.

The ride in was fine but the wind was very strong. I didn't notice but Alexi had texted us that schools were opening two hours late so she would be in later. So that meant everyone came in later. Except me because I didn't notice it. Ah well.

I got to camp and had my bagel and read for a while. Jess asked me to make a ride wish list for Disney. So I did some research and figured out what rides I would like to try for. I'm not a big rides person but there are a few boat based ones I think I will enjoy. And it was fun looking into everything and the possibilities.

We are changing the order of the parks because the travel agent has been kind of useless and didn't tell us that Magic Kingdom is closing early the day were planning on going so now we are probably ending the week with Magic Kingdom instead of starting it. That's okay. I'm just excited to go with Jess.

Eventually people started coming in. And I was given a few small tasks. But I also just spent time reading and doing little things in the computer.

Heather trained me and Sarah on the camp registration website and how to see the wait-list and so because we could do that we could start helping to answer emails from parents. It turns out registering can be a little confusing so I made a reference sheet for parents with a step by step guide and hopefully it will help.

Celia came in to talk to Alexi. And it was nice to see her. I would have my lunch and went for a little walk. I was surprised that there were more downed trees from the storm but the ground was very very soft. It was nice walking around even if it was still to windy.

Nurse Joan came in today and I was able to give her the Christmas gift I had for her. She was very excited about the tiny "Nurse Quaktitioner" I had for her. Made her laugh really big. Love Nurse Joan.

I also have her and Nurse Becky some vintage maps of camp for them to decorate the infirmary once it's fixed up. I was happy to help.

We would have a big meeting about the counselor in training program this afternoon. Where we are trying to sort things out for when the contractor John comes next week. I was glad I had made all the different documents that I printed last week because I swear no one else really has anything ready. Like there were ideas and catching up and getting on the same page but I had actual programs and documents. I felt very ready. Which was nice. It's hard though when I say well I do this... Talking about specialty stuff for the summer and Alexi goes but you are so on top of things and preplan and prep! And I'm like yes. But everyone should be living up to my standards!!! Plus I've done a lot of the planning for the other specialties.

I would have some new ideas for our counciler in training program though. Including making a quiz to figure out what you would best be suited for. Which was fun to make and then I made everyone in the office take it to see if they got placed in different things and it worked really well honestly. Not perfect and I'm sure I'll change the questions a bit but I think creating a personality test for the job is a fun way to help figure out where each kid can go.

I had a few more things to make today. Including a staff survey about your favorite things. I tried to make it more interesting then just what's your favorite color. And it lead to a really nice conversation about what snacks would make our day better. I said a cinnamon soft pretzel. Heather said sushi! I was very surprised and that's why I thought it was a good question! I learned something about her. And we got to talk about the best pretzels we've ever had and that lead to more stories and that is the whole point. To learn more about each other on a deeper level.

I got ready to go right around 4. And I was so stupid tired. It hit me all of a sudden and driving home sucked. It didn't help that people were driving stupid. But despite others best efforts I made it home in one piece.

When I parked a nice man was walking on the sidewalks and we had a nice conversation about the weather. And it put me in a really nice mood.

But this did not last long. I got up here and immediately got overstimulated because there is just stuff everywhere. I tried to start moving stuff but I was just very very overwhelmed and didn't know what to do and then I found my cup in the dishwasher that I have asked a few times not to be put in there and I just absolutely melted down. I felt so tired and so upset. I texted James a million times explaining why I am upset. But I just felt very low.

I have basically been in bed since then. I am exhausted. I did go have some cereal but I may go eat something more substantial. James had the extended hours at the museum tonight so they should be home in another hour or so. And hopefully I can sleep faster and feel better tomorrow.

I hope the wind dies down. And I hope tomorrow is beautiful. Sleep well everyone. Until next time.

[wwwurbunnygrldotcom]

FILE J.ONE - PT.2

(”I mean if you’re going to hack into my software you might as well give me head first”)

1 - 2 + UPDATE

WARNINGS- smut, mentions of pedophilia, porn, bad language, and over all not kid friendly!

NOT EDITED

Pairing- Han Jisung (of StrayKids) X OC

Genre- Hacker AU, Highschool AU, comedy, and romance. 

WC- 2.1K

SUMMARY-

Being a well experienced hacker and coder with too much time on your hands is an interesting hobby, especially interesting when you leave your computer in your school's robotics club and come back to a strange new malware taking over your system. Who in the robotics club is responsible? Who is trying to watch me? And why?

File title; Han Jisung. Age; 17, occupation; student enrolled at Seoul high school, alias; J.ONE.

Normal kid with a normal cyber background, seemingly there was nothing special about Jisung. Except for the alarming amount of porn he watches, although I didn't expect much coming from the vice president of Seoul high school’s robotics club. 

I think I may have thrown up in my mouth a little bit when I saw that message last night. Not only did this person install malware but they hacked my camera too? This further adds to what I believe this person's motive is, if they only wanted my information then why go through the trouble of hacking my camera? Either they want to spy on me. Perhaps for some sort of sick sexual fetish or this is a much more personal attack. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. 

And that is exactly how I felt looking at the sign up sheet for the robotics club. Throwing up on the floor may have been better than taking this pen in my hand and signing my name. I felt this sort of resentment towards them, even if not all of them had participated. Imagining them laughing and spending time with my stalker makes me grind my teeth. 

It’s true that everybody has their own dirty little secret, or their own evil that gives them pleasure. I’ve seen a lot of awful things since I've started digitally snooping, a lot of things that would make people shutter at the thought of. Though I’ve never cared, I truly do not care what your guilty pleasure is, as long as it doesn't affect me. I have a very small circle of people I love, as long as nothing happens to them I don't care even if the world was burning. Perhaps that was my flaw, I don’t have enough sympathy. 

“Wow Areum, I didn't expect this sort of club would be something you’re interested in. It’s nice seeing you getting involved,” said the office lady behind me from her desk. She is having an affair with the principal, trust me. I know a lot about this woman and I've only spoken to her twice but god hearing her speak made my ears bleed a little bit. 

The problem about knowing everything about everyone is how it affects your perception of them afterwards. It’s hard building true relationships with people without remembering everything I wouldn't want to remember. You’ll find that people are much darker than they come off to be. 

“Yeah well, I just live for the community” I spoke as sarcastically as possible, keeping my back turned whilst writing. Though, she’s right, this isn't something I’d normally do if I wasn't being influenced. I have one close friend, Kim Jennie, but I don’t speak to her often as it is. So fully joining a club was something completely out of my comfort zone. 

“I’ll let Chan know you’re coming down, he’s super nice! Don’t worry about not being welcomed, you’ll fit in great.” She comforted me. I finally turned around and made eye contact with her, “Um thanks, i’ll be going now” making my lips into a flat line. 

I wasn't intending to be rude at all, that’s simply not who I am. It’s just that I spent most of my high school career being an outcast to my peers, I couldn't help but feel like an outcast to the adults as well. Sometimes I think they pitied me more than anything. I noticed at some point the staff would pay extra care and attention towards me. I would even get called down to the counselors office for wellness checks, asking me if I was alright. Certainly I was, I was perfectly fine. It was just exceptionally hard for me to make friends or participate in class. 

My mind had wandered so far that by the time I snapped back to reality I was already In front of the robotics club room, the door was open so there was zero time for preparing myself. I took a deep breath and loosened the tie around my neck a little bit, helping my blood flow so I don't feel like I’m constantly suffocating. I poked my head in the door hoping to find some sort of life form but it turned out to be empty.

After a sound of shuffling Chan’s body popped from around the corner, greeting me with the biggest smile possible. Chan is about 5’7 with brown straight hair going down to his eyebrows, he was the perfect picture of most girls' ideal types. He was kind and humble and most importantly, always willing to be there for other people. He just had this loving aura to him. 

A ‘Class President’ badge shining proudly on his chest. 

“You must be Areum, right?” He said, extending his hand outward towards mine. 

I smiled gently, putting my hand in his whilst moving it up and down, in order to execute this correctly I needed to act as innocently as possible. “Yeah. Chan, right? You’re class president!” 

He blushed a little bit when I had brought up his title, his hand making it to the back of his neck rubbing it a little. This felt like a cringe moment straight out of some coming of age movie, gross. 

“Seems like you've heard of me.” He giggled.

“Well only good things, the things you’d want people to hear” I responded, maybe giving into his ego will help me gain his trust. 

“Thank you, that means a lot. So, what brings you to robotics?” 

“I thought maybe I’d try something new, help me get outside my comfort zone a little bit!” I exclaimed.

His smile brightened after hearing my explanation, he seems to truly care about technology and helping others learn. He seemed so pure and innocent. 

“Channie!! Where did you go?” Someone yelled from the other side of the wall separating the classroom. My heart dropped to my stomach hearing those words, coming face to face with the boys I have been searching for was nerve wracking to say the least. 

The youngest member, Jeongin, was the owner of the voice. He was only a year below me but he had this sort of childlike innocence still inside of him, the duality of him and FoxI.Ny was a headache to wrap my head around. 

The rest of the members besides Changbin came crashing into the room one by one, all of them so sweaty their hair was sticking to their foreheads. Their uniforms were completely out of place and disheveled. 

The moment their eyes landed on me all of their faces turned into blank pieces of paper, their eyes becoming as bigger than they already were. Surprisingly, opposite than his persona in normal classes, Seungmin was the first to speak. 

“Chan, you didn't tell us the new member was a girl?!” He hissed out, ignoring the fact that I was standing in front of him. Wow PuppyM, you definitely know how to make a girl feel welcomed. I wasn't even sure how to respond, all I could do was raise my eyebrows and hope the situation would defuse by itself. 

Before Jisung could even speak I could already see the smirk on his face. “Why do you sound like you’re complaining? She’s hot,” his words dripped with his sly attitude. I couldn't help but allow myself to smile while my face heated up. God, he’s so fucking stupid. 

“Okay okay stop, yes we get it, she’s a girl but she’s willing to learn and we're here to help. Right boys?” Chan interrupted whatever other flirtatious comment Jisung was going to make before it even happened, thank god. 

Jisung chimed in, “Oh yeah, for sure. We can definitely help.” he winked. I wasn't sure how much longer I could cling onto this ‘innocent’ image before I absolutely lost it. 

I suppose the next thing to come would be introductions which for the record I personally think is the worst part of any social situation. I felt a hand on my shoulders, rubbing their thumb back and forth. 

“You already know me but let me introduce you, everyones here besides Changbin. He usually doesn't come on Wednesdays because he goes and watches his girlfriend play soccer.” Chan says, turning his opposite and towards the boys. “Felix, how about you go first?”

The shortest of the boys takes just a step forward and smiles at me, the type of smile where you’re so happy your eyes disappear. He opens both of his arms offering a hug and says, “I’m Lee Felix, I’m a little new around here too! I’m not sure if you like hugs but here anyway.” I accepted his hug because at least I know Felix isn't a creep, he seemed like a true good guy. 

His arms wrapped about my shoulders while patting my back ever so gently, he was about a head taller than me so the height difference was perfect. He hummed and released his gripped, “I hope you have fun here” he sighs. He smelt like freshly washed clothes and sweet sugar, I’m definitely going to check up on his data later. 

Hyunjing was the next to step forward with more confidence than the other members have when speaking to me. He gave me a side smile and reached his right hand out, “Im Hyunjin, I think we have literature together.”. I returned his smile and took his hand in mine, letting it linger for a few seconds. 

“I’m Areum. I saw your presentation yesterday. It was really thorough and nicely done, I wanted to say good job.” 

The key to becoming a trustworthy member is letting them feel as though I’m not a threat, making them feel seen and appreciated is what's going to help me get to where I need to be. 

“Oh really? If I need help in literature I know who to ask, I’ve seen your work as well.” he cocked his head to the side while looking down at me. His words felt so intimate like they were hand picked to make me feel something towards him. 

With one last smile he made his way back to the other boys, that was until Jeongin patted him on his back and whispered “Nah, she wants you dude”. C’mon Jeongin, you were doing so well, we could have had a real friendship. 

I simply just rolled my eyes with a half smile on my face, seeing them introduce themselves was slightly entertaining. Next on the roster was our dear Minho. I already knew whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be good by the way he walked up to me. 

I stood on my right and swung his arm over my shoulder. Looking me directly in my eyes, his stare was something that made me beyond comfortable, a type of stare you definitely should not give someone you just met. I think everyone else in the room also felt distressed. Seungmin and Jeongin removed their attention from us and awkwardly looked at their hands, while Hyunjin and Felix just narrowed their eyes and furrowed their eyebrows. 

I can already tell where this is going to end up. This is one of those helpless situations where a girl becomes blindly friends with a group of men only to be exploited for whatever disgusting fantasy they have. Then the girl refuses to admit they're using her until something extraordinarily bad happens. I have seen this exact story so many times. It’s something so normalized though so dehumanizing. 

Something about this situation snapped me back into my true personality and I couldn’t help but jerk my head away from Minho’s, refusing to allow him to get his way with me. I could see out of my peripheral that not only did Minho get the hint but he visibly cringed after being rejected. “I’m Minho,” he muttered before retracting his arm from around me.  

My breath hitched in my chest, while allowing my eyes to wander to the science posters on the walls to distract myself. I looked up to see Seungmin eyeing me down, I think trying to get past whatever façade he thought I was trying to uphold. He gave me a single nod and raised his hand, not making a step in my direction. I gave him the same response though with a smile.

“You guys need to see women more often, this is painful to see,” Jisung howled. This made an eruption of protests begin within the boys, “Are you kidding? I was perfect?” Minho argued. “Oh yeah, like she totally looked like she wanted to make out with you.”

“This isn't an everyday thing for us!” Seungmin replied so disappointingly. Jisung couldn't help but laugh more with the boy's excuses, “We can tell, Seungmin”. 

“You’re acting as if you get mad pussy.” I fired at him, a smirk forming on my lips. Minho’s eyes widened and his mouth opened in surprise. “See me personally, Jisung, I wouldn't take that type of disrespect” he snickered. 

“Would you like to test that out?” Jisung tested, moving just a step closer to me. 

“Could you keep up?” I said taking an even larger step towards him. 

#han jisung #jisung #straykids #hwang hyunjin #bang chan #lee felix #lee know #i.n #kim seungmin #seo changbin #jisung x reader #han jisung fanfic #straykids fanfic

[boag]

Help I just discovered that the high school I went to has a whole wikipedia page . Reading this is literally like…. nauseating . They make it sound great but in reality it is literally such a dark-sided, evil place…. I only attended for three semesters before dropping out of school altogether and was very truant, but in the little time I spent at this school I witnessed an entire race war that culminated in numerous physical assaults and a LOT of unchecked hate speech. We also narrowly avoided school shootings so many times during the first half of my freshman year that my fellow students organized a sit in where we all just skipped our classes and sat on the floor in the commons where we usually ate lunch and just like held up signs respectfully requesting that none of our classmates bring guns to school with the intention of harming us 😭

Also I remember that the school got sued right after I dropped out by one of my classmates’ parents who had pulled him out of school bc he was suffering relentless bullying and racial harassment every single day and he kept going to the School-Based Youth Services office (a program at the school with the purpose of providing students and their families with free counseling. They were also the people you were supposed to go to if u wanted to report bullying or anything like that) and the staff members there would literally just refuse to do anything to help him with it (I remember reading smth abt this when it was happening that contained a quote from one of these counselors that went something like “stop reporting things to us, it just makes our jobs harder”). Idk what happened with the lawsuit but when the story broke I did email the kid’s family’s lawyer and offered to contribute to the case if they wanted more testimonies or whatever bc I had a lot of VERY similar things happen to me at that school…

Anyways in conclusion this Wikipedia article is BULLSHIT for depicting this school so positively and not mentioning any of the countless scandals and legal troubles anywhere… and also I think I would actually rather die than ever step foot in that building again and I am still so glad I dropped out when I did 😭

#the way I was bullied by FACULTY at this school is crazyyyy #my gym/health teacher from freshman year was the worstttt he used to bodyshame me and humiliate me in front of my classmates constantly #like to the point where I would be crying and on the verge of hyperventilating begging for a bathroom pass so I could leave the room

[wordsofcleo]

I am not the same me.

I am not the same person I was before. Let me explain. There is my life before seeing my brain and after seeing my brain. There is my life before starting a new medication (Wellbutrin) and my life after starting a new medication. From the ripe age of eleven years old, I have suffered immensely with mental health issues. This was first spotted by my family physician who had been my doctor from the moment I was released from my mother’s womb. Let’s call her Dr. C. Dr. C noticed that I was not going to school as often as I should have been at the age of eleven. I had many appointments with her where I would complain of a new “sickness” and random symptoms, but she started to notice a pattern with me. I wasn’t actually sick, I was fishing for doctor’s notes to escape school. I was not one to be bullied at school, nor did I have problems with my teachers at the time, but I did have something deeper going on. An internal struggle every single day. I did not want to be around anyone, even my own family. I would have rather spent every single day in my bedroom sleeping the day away and when I was awake, reading books or playing computer games. I knew that I wasn’t like the other kids at school. They had a brightness; a happiness about them. They woke up refreshed every morning with smiles on their faces and looked forward to going to school. They had determination and motivation about everything. I couldn’t quite understand why I was the one child that wasn’t smiling and giddy like they were. I participated in things with them, but I did not feel connected. Their energies felt so different than mine, in a good way. Dr. C then told me she wanted to speak with me alone. She asked about my life at home and if there were any problems that I wanted to talk about. It was then that I was able to tell someone, a professional, about my messed up childhood and how I didn’t ever want to do anything because I was so sad all of the time. That was when she diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and started me on my very first trial run of medications. Though I can’t remember what the first medications were, I know they were SSRIs. Doctors typically start you off on something like Prozac, Lexapro, or Abilify. I took these medications along with therapy both at my school (not a guidance counselor, but a school therapist) and outside of school with a therapist for children. This went on for years. Therapy, medications, therapy, medications. Swapping medications. Adding new medications. None of them were helping me at all. In fact, many of them made me worse off. This only added to the despair that I felt throughout my childhood up until my early adult life. I was not getting the proper help customized for me, though everyone was trying and getting nowhere. It was infuriating. In 9th grade, I was groomed by my aunt’s grown boyfriend and he took advantage of me. I thought that he was my mentor and a male that I could trust in. Boy, was I wrong. I was young, hurt within, and naive. He knew that. He knew a lot about me and my family. Soon after, word got around the school. I had some girl friends of mine who had been around my aunt’s boyfriend with me, though never abused by him like I was, they witnessed the way that he was with me firsthand. The word spread like wildfire, and in horrible ways that you would never wish on your worst enemy, let alone a young teenager. I had people calling me at my phone number mocking me, making sexual noises, how I sure “loved my aunt’s boyfriend”, and whatever else they could say. It was so bad that I had to report it to the police. The local police said, “What do you want me to do about it?” My reply? “You really have to ask me that? TAKE CARE OF IT!” I couldn't even go to school. This was the first time I had ever dealt with bullying in my life and it was over some abuse that I had received from an adult man. I stopped going to school. Due to that, I failed my 9th grade year from my absences. Truancy officers threatened jail time on my family because it was their duty to make sure I got to school. I went just enough, barely any, so that no one got arrested. When my second 9th grade year rolled around, I realized that everyone looked at me differently as if I had been tainted with some disease. Even my best friend since 3rd grade had completely ignored me only to never speak to me again. On top of all of the things I was dealing with, this was the final nail in the coffin for me and school. By that time, I was old enough that I could drop myself out of school. I dabbled with homeschooling, but my depression kept me from getting anything done. Next, I tried an alternative school for people finishing their educations. Then, I got sexually attacked by an adult classmate of mine. That didn’t include the abuse that I’d had as a five year old child. By this point, my world was collapsing more than ever. I had lost friends, my ability to go to school, and I was severely traumatized in every way. It wasn’t until after the last assault that I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They didn’t stop there, though. The diagnoses continued onward. 

Over the course of all those years, I was diagnosed with: Depression, generalized anxiety (GAD), panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), major depressive disorder (MDD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), bipolar disorder (BP), attention deficit disorder (ADD), and a few others that I may be missing.  These wonky diagnoses led to completely unnecessary cocktails of medications for things. I was a growing child with an underdeveloped, growing brain that was being poisoned by psychiatric medications for years on end. By the time I turned eighteen years old, I said, “Enough is enough.” I had had enough. With that said, I decided to put an end to all use of medications and therapy. Once my body and brain detoxed, I seemed to be doing so much better. I was finally feeling my own emotions again naturally and I did not feel battered down by those awful side effects of medications that didn't even work for me in the first place. By then, I had learned all of the coping mechanisms that therapy could offer. I had been in for years, going once-twice a week. There came a point where the therapists could no longer tell me anything that I didn’t already know. 

Fast forward to 2018. This was a year of intense grief. The place where I live and grew up got completely wiped out by a natural disaster, my father figure (grandfather) passed away right afterward, and then my husband left me for the fourth time but that time he insisted on divorce. So, we divorced. I had lost so much. All of the things that were most important in my life were gone. This was the worst point of my life. That was four years ago, but it seems like yesterday, and I’m not over exaggerating that. It really does feel like yesterday. I can say with absolute clarity and stern affirmation that the last four years have been the worst of my (almost, in September) twenty-five year old life. I thought my childhood was hard, and it was, but there was no competition to the year 2018 and the aftermath that was to come. Those four years could be described in one word: suffering. It’s crazy because I have not even been able to notice how much time has passed until recently when my mind became more clear, and I will get to that in a moment. I did not realize how much of my life has gone by and how many days have been eaten up by mental illness. Four whole years. Maybe I was not able to see because I was so blind by the pain and suffering and trauma. Each day that I woke up, I wanted to keep sleeping. Many days I could not even drag myself out of bed. There were weeks that I had slept in the same clothes repeatedly without washing. Days that I didn’t eat anything or ate so much it would make me sick. Every day felt like a sack of bricks attached to every limb of my body. After a while, I started to think that maybe I had some kind of illness inside my body like thyroid or anemia. All of my blood work turned out fine and healthy every time. No one had an answer. I continued to suffer. Just before the trauma went down in 2018, I had left my job due to a back injury. It was a good thing that I did though, because I needed to spend those final moments with my father figure before he passed. For that, I’m grateful. However, I didn’t keep a steady job since then. I had some gigs here and there and I sold artwork, but there was never anything consistent. I was too damaged beyond repair to even think about getting a legitimate job position. Most days I didn’t even know my first name. I went from being a constantly busy employee, wife, and beloved grandchild regularly spending time with her folks... to nothing at all. I had no job, no husband, my family had fallen apart, and every day I had to witness the absolute evidence of destruction that was lingering around my town and all three counties beyond. Those four years were the most debilitating. Every day I contemplated suicide. I mean it when I say there was not a day that went by that I did not think about it. Some days were just thoughts, but others had plans behind them. Plans that I obviously never went through with, but I had tried. I kept trying to commit, but there was some force that was holding me back and I didn’t know why. 

Around November 2021, I got this sudden strong sense within me that something was about to change. There was about to be a transition of some kind. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew that it was coming. I had also had dreams that something was going to change. I had been using nicotine for many years (from age 15-24) by that point, but I had decided to quit. I had been experiencing fast heart beat and whether from anxiety or something else, I knew that using nicotine didn’t help. I tried to quit once in November and failed. Tried again in February and succeeded. I have been nicotine free ever since then, but let me tell you, the ride was not easy. When I had quit before, I realized that my post-quit symptoms were lingering longer than scientific research says they should. Every day after quitting felt like the first day of quitting. None of the symptoms were resolving, especially the brain fog and inattention. It got so bad that I would go into a room, completely forget what I was doing, and end up doing nothing at all. I would take a break from a task to read an article or watch a video online only to be consumed by it and not even realize until three or more hours later that I was there that long and had not completed my original task. It was insanity! This happened the second time I quit too in February. Months later, it never got better. I started to dig into this. What in the hell was happening? Why wasn’t I feeling better even a little bit? I tried telling my friends about this and even they couldn’t understand what was going on. Everyone I read about, even online, were saying that they felt completely fine again after 2-3 months. So why did I feel still like the first day of quitting? This is when I started to get aggravated with myself. I had overcome the biggest, nastiest habit of mine, my bloodwork was showing all signs of health, and I was feeling proud of my body and determination. Still, the mental part lingered and got worse and worse by the day. Feelings of wanting to die grew stronger. I attempted a few times and realized that I had to speak to my doctor about it. 

Since I had long quit therapy and medications, I had nothing but a family doctor to talk to about this. It was not Dr. C mentioned in the beginning of this entry, but a new doctor whom we will call Dr. R. This doctor suggested that I be open to trying a new medication. Truth be told, I had no choice. I was either going to die or die trying and I had nothing left to lose. The outcome of my life was looking morbid. After discussing medication history with her, she decided on Wellbutrin. It is a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI). I told her that I wanted to get it filled, but I needed to take time to sort my thoughts before taking it. I wanted to be in control of this experience if I started back on psychiatric medications. What a long, dizzy road I had been on before... 

I got the Wellbutrin filled, but there was one last thing that I had to do, and this is where my story changes. I called a neuroscientist in the city to schedule myself to come in and get a brain map, also known as qEEG. I had been informed months prior that this was something I could do after years of having no luck with psychiatry and it could give me clearer answers to what is going on in my brain. People who have no success with medications, therapy, or simply have something going on that they can’t quite figure out, are the ones who go for brain mapping. There I was, getting ready to start my new medication, but before I did, I wanted to inquire with the neuroscientist. Neuroscientists focus on the brain and its impact on behavior and cognitive functions. They can spot things on your brain like mood disorders, seizure disorders, autism, and a variety of other things that would affect the brain. The price to do this was not cheap, but with the help of a generous family member, I was able to get in. This was a changing point in my life. 

The grand takeaway was that I have a gnarly dopamine imbalance. The serotonin on my brain was completely fine and normal and that would explain why the cocktail of SSRIs over the years never helped me. This was a profound finding and the answer to so many questions about myself. Both parts of the brain (dopamine and serotonin) play a part in happiness and uplifted moods, but dopamine is over things like: pleasure, rewards, focus, coordination, memory, and motivation. It was also discovered that I have a very high functioning brain. My thought waves were shown to be sprinting all over the place in chaos around my brain. The neuroscientist described me as “highly intelligent”. She stated that “average individuals” do not have that level of activity going at once in their brains, nor do they have the level of abstract thinking that was showing on my brain. Yes, all of those things can be seen. She described my condition as a “blessing and a curse”. Blessing to be intelligent, but a curse to be so anxious and malled with sensory issues. My sensory triggers are things such as loud noises (sometimes even low ones), lights, crowds of people, and so on. I never could understand why I was so sensitive to stimuli or why I prefer to sit alone in a still, quiet room. The brain map changed that for me. I also had spots of OCD (obsessive compulsions) on my brain, but they snapped in and snapped out. The scientist could not “diagnose” me with things, as that is a psychiatrist’s job, but she can use my brain results to tell me what parts are functioning differently and why. The good news was that she could tell me I had no sign of bipolar disorder. That was something I had asked her to look for due to the fact that my biological father has the disorder. I wanted to rule it out. I also had no autism that she could tell. Though she could not formerly diagnose me, she said that the dopamine imbalance could be causing my focus issues and depression; “It could be something like ADHD”. She encouraged me to follow up with my doctor and a therapist. 

So, how is that information so life changing for me? Finally, after all those years, I am able to finally and CLEARLY know what is going on in my brain. I don’t have a serotonin imbalance, but a dopamine imbalance. That means that serotonin medications will never help me feel better. Dopamine medications can, however. The other life changing thing that I never could have expected was a heartwarming confidence boost. Hey, thanks brain! It turns out we’re intelligent after all. We’re neurodivergent!  I learned why I’m sensitive to outside stimuli. I learned that my thoughts are zooming throughout my head with lightening fast speeds because my brain function is higher than other average humans. That, in turn, can cause anxiety. I learned that if I have no where to put my “brain power”, I can also end up with severe anxiety and depression. If there is nowhere for me to use my gift, then I feel unaccomplished and wasted. I also feel bored, anxious, and overwhelmed this way. Stir crazy. With that said, the scientist told me that it would be best for me to get my attention and depression under control so that I can apply my brain to something like a good career or schooling. “People like you are skilled in business and run huge corporations. I think you will be surprised what you can accomplish once you get this straightened out,” she told me. 

Guess what Wellbutrin is? Like I said earlier, it is a dopamine drug. Heck yeah! On July 2, 2022, I started my new medication that my doctor prescribed. I finally felt confident enough with the brain map being done that I could begin. On the first day, I could tell an immediate difference. It was as if the constant chatter and white noise in my brain had been shut off. I was a bit astonished to stand there and not have a million things running through my head at one time. I drove into town to visit with a family member in case I had a bad reaction, but I did not have any bad reaction. On the way there, I ran into a heavy rainstorm on the highway - the kind where you can’t see anything in front of you at all. Typically with these, I would start panicking immediately and my heart would pound dangerously out of my chest. That did not happen at all. I did not feel moved by one ounce of anxiety and I was able to keep calm without even trying. In town and with my family member, I was able to have a conversation without being distracted. For once in my life, I was not immediately thinking of what they were going to say before it came out of their mouth along with what I was going to say the moment that they finished because everything happened that quickly all of the time in my mind. No. I was able to be calm and take turns having an engaged dialogue in the moment with no brain chatter or chaos. I was able to take what they were saying as it came, meditate on it, and reply back accordingly. I felt motivated and determined, but not hyper or overstimulated. The worry with these drugs is that they will overstimulate people and make them jittery or hyper. Not me. It made me calm, relaxed, and even somewhat sleepy. I felt normal for once in my life. I was able to go into grocery stores without having so much fear and anxiety within me, thinking about every little thing that could go wrong and why. 

Today marks 9 days that I have been on Wellbutrin with great success. Today marks 9 days that I have not thought about ending my life. Today marks 133 days that I have not used nicotine.  Between the help of my new doctor prescribing me this medication and the neuroscientist examining my brain, I can safely say with absolute clarity that my life has been saved. Had things not changed when they did, I can absolutely guarantee that I would not be here writing this right now. I get emotional thinking about that, because just that quickly and at the turn of events, my life changed for the better right when I thought it was all over after so many long years of suffering. All that pain for so long gets you believing that there is no way out. And that truly was my reality until the change happened. Though they won’t read this, I want to thank my new doctor and the neuroscientist. Thank you both for saving my life. 

07/11/2022 -Cleo

[entities-of-posts]

*The shadows in the corner of the Archivist's office seem to grow darker and denser. From these Shadows, a person emerges and approaches the Archivist's desk.*

Hello. I've been meaning to drop by again, but I've been, uh, busy. Brought something for you, though.

*From a dark velvet pouch, she pulls what looks to be a small sketchbook, which she sets before the Archivist.*

I'd like your opinion on that, if it's not any trouble. It's been causing a few problems lately. In return...well, I suppose this is going to be a statement, huh? *She sighs.*

I'm part of this organization that works with kids. Summer camps, after school programs, that sort of thing. The name of this organization doesn't matter - trust me, they have absolutely nothing to do with any of the Fears, and I...I do my best not to let my Hunger get involved.

So I'm around kids a lot, mostly middle schoolers. I don't know if you've spent a lot of time with kids - I mean, outside of the context of *She gestures vaguely around the Archives, indicating the Spooky Shit* but they're really interesting to interact with. They've always got something going on, and most of the time it's pretty average drama or random facts...but sometimes it's a little stranger than that.

There's this one kid - I'll call them Alex, though you of course know that's not their real name - Alex is on the quieter side. They're more content to sit in the corner while the other kids are playing games. Most of the time, Alex just sits and draws. Draws and draws and draws. I'd try to encourage them to engage with the others, but they really weren't interested.

Over the last couple weeks, though, Alex has gotten a little more touchy, more irritated when I try to talk to them. I'll see them scribbling furiously in their sketchbook, so hard I expected to hear the paper tearing. Whenever I asked what they were drawing, they'd snap it shut. I didn't push it until one day I looked over to check on them and Alex was just staring at the page, pencil clutched so tightly in their hand their knuckles were white. They looked so frustrated I was almost worried they were going to snap the pencil. So I went over and asked if they were okay. They told me they couldn't get the drawing right, so I asked if I could see it. I didn't know if I expected them to refuse, but honestly I was a little surprised when they just wordlessly pushed the sketchbook over to me, and, well...

*She opens the sketchbook and slides it across the desk to the Archvist. As it flips through, it sees each page covered in rough sketches of people. At least, probably people. There's something just a little...off about each one, impossible to pin down, but leaving the viewer wondering 'Is that really how a person's supposed to look?'*

You see it, right? It took me a moment, but the longer I looked, the more the drawings started to unsettle me. And those are real people, too. I think Alex was just drawing the other kids, and even the counselors. I know those people, I see them almost every day, I know what they look like...but looking at those drawings? I found myself questioning that. I can tell who they're supposed to be, but at the same time I can barely recognize them. I didn't say anything for a minute, looking through those drawings. What could I say? It was probably just the style, or the proportions were just a bit off (is what I tried to convince myself). Not anything I wanted to critique in that moment. So instead I asked Alex what the problem was.

They repeated that they couldn't get it right. "The faces are wrong," They said. I figured they meant the ones they'd drawn. I told them the drawings were good, and Alex looked me dead in the eye and said "No, not the drawings. Their faces aren't right. I'm trying to get it right for them."

I...didn't know what to say. What do you say when a kid says something like that? I tried to push it out of my mind, chalk it up to just another strange thing a kid's said, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Every time I looked at one of the others, the drawing of them would rise to the surface, and it took me a moment to remember that I did recognize the person standing in front of me. It got to the point that whenever I was looking for a kid, I could be looking right at them, and still not be able to find who I was looking for.

So a couple days later, while the kids were all outside, I...well, I took the sketchbook. Alex nearly threw a fit when they realized it was missing, and I do feel bad about it, but something about it is just...

*She shudders, takes a breath, and looks up at the Archivist.*

What do you think? I...I really hope you can tell me it's the sketchbook, and that you can stick it in Artifact Storage or something. Because if not, then either something's messing with me, or...something's messing with the kid. And if that's the case, I...

*She swallows, composing herself.*

They're a good kid. Really. I don't think they know what's happening. Anything I can do to keep it that way, I will.

~☆

*the Archivist listens attentively, a hint of concern showing on its face more and more as the story progresses* *when its visitor is done talking, it Looks more attentively at the sketchbook.*

Hm. This is definitely Strange. The object itself is dripping with Uncanniness now, but… it’s difficult to say if it’s the source of it. Lures are I Do Not Know You’s forte, after all. If you have enemies, you might want to think about which ones could possibly pull something like this - if not, “Alex” is probably the target.

I will lock this up where it cannot cause trouble; but if the child’s Strange behavior keeps on… you’d do best to come back and tell me.

#statements #the Dark star #the Stranger

[ruhrohimrorny]

What Subjects I Think LOK Characters Would Teach:

Lin: PE, obviously. Dating Kya and all the kids are happy cause there’s a noticeable shift in Lin’s mood once they start dating. She no longer forces kids to run a mile every day and instead does it once a week now, so the kids are hoping her and Kya stay together. She also coaches Golf and Lacrosse.

Kya: Waffled between MILF Math teacher, MILF Science teacher, and hippy/chill Music teacher, but decided on MILF Science Teacher. Getting strong Biology vibes. Very fun labs and not strict at all. Her and Zhu-Li are super passionate about leading the Science Bowl team. Seeing these young people be so passionate about STEM and helping their fellow teammates makes her hopeful for this young generation.

Tenzin: He kinda gives math teacher vibes, but a large part of his character in the show is about him keeping his history alive, and teaching others abut learning and respecting history, so I feel like he’s a History teacher. His class is a lot of notetaking but he plays quiet music and does a five minute meditation in the middle of class to encourage kids to relax, so students really like him and actually listen to him. Also, he’s kind of gullible so they make up fake trends to tell him. He once spent a week addressing people as “brony” cause students told him thats what people say now instead of bro. Kids got a good laugh out of that one. Him and Pema are another favorite teacher couple.

Bumi II: Def gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes. Very interesting and informative conversations in his class, but things get off topic very quickly. Whenever kids ask about Bum-Ju, he gets distracted and will talk the entire rest of the period about what to dress Bum-Ju up as for Halloween. Probably plays a lot of videos. And students don’t worry about if they read the books Bumi II assigns cause they don’t think he’s even read the books he assigns. When having discussions about the books in class, sometimes kids will make up stuff and say it’s in the book and for the most part, Bumi II goes along with it cause he doesn’t know what actually happens in the books.

Varrick: Also gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes, but because he’s a businessman/war profiteer, I’m gonna have to say he teaches Econ and gives students lots of unsolicited financial advice. Also supervises the Engineering and Robotics Club.

Zhu-Li: Science teacher, probably Chemistry. She’s very good at explaining and getting kids to follow her instructions. Not only is she a co-supervisor for the Science Bowl team, she helps Varrick run Engineering and Robotics Club, cause if it were only Varrick running it, no kids would come. His intensity and eccentricity scares them.

Iroh II: He’s definitely the young Math teacher everyone has a crush on. Very chill and doesn’t give a lot of homework. Kids love when he shows pictures of his dog to the class and eventually he brings in the dog cause admin think the dog is too cute to say no to.

Tonraq: Resident DILF History teacher. Kind of a hardass but also a nice dude so most everyone passes his class. Probably that History teacher that is also a football coach, so during fall he doesn’t give a FUCK about whether anyone actually turns anything in. Him and Senna is the teacher couple that seems like opposites but actually are pretty similar and balance each other out.

Senna: That English teacher that every mentally ill student becomes emotionally attached to. You know what I’m talking about. She’s so sweet, funny, and chill so all the kids love her class. Tries to include memes in her presentations to seem “with it” but they’re like, doge memes from 2014. But the kids appreciate the effort.

Pema: Definitely the sweet English teacher that occasionally has a mental breakdown when the students test her patience. Otherwise very chill. Also teaches the Childhood Education and Development class. Her, Senna, and Bumi II run the school newspaper.

Bataar: Drafting. Pretty chill, very skilled, and def smokes on the weekend. Also, him and Suyin are that teacher couple that everyone likes.

Suyin: Dance. Super nice and always has like to of those smelly plug in things going so her room smells good and has a “good vibe that evokes emotion”. Always plays EDM or weird 80s rock to get the kids moving. She runs the school dance team. When Bataar has prep period, he sometimes drops in to see Su dance, cause she’s mesmerizing to watch. All the kids think that, coupled with the fact that they eat lunch together every day, makes them the cutest couple ever.

Amon: Drama. He loves directing kids on how to totally live a role. If you can imagine, he sometimes gets a little overdramatic about drama, forgetting that these are just highschool kids, not Oscar winners, but his passion makes the class more enjoyable. Runs Drama Club with Tarrlok.

Tarrlok: Probably Physics. A difficult class, but he’s pretty good at explaining so most kids don’t struggle too much. His main focus is running student government, which he takes pretty seriously. Sometimes too seriously.

Unalaq: Teaches Psychology. The most pretentious teacher on campus. It’s literally so bad, that even other teachers avoid him. Amon abandoned his coffee still being brewed in the machine in the staff room cause Unalaq walked in and he didn’t want to be in a room with Unalaq again after he said that Amon’s outfit “looked like something stolen from the lost and found of a funeral home”. Unalaq sees it as “telling it like it is”.

Zaheer: Government and Politics. Tries to teach the class very well but also injects his own opinion into teaching a lot. The students find him scary but some also kinda think he’s hot. Also does Yearbook. Him and Senna run Mock Trial. Replaced the old Government and Politics teacher Hou-Ting after she retired. She was that one old teacher that made it a hobby to harrass students and constantly reminisced about when you could smack students.

P’Li: Math teacher. Much scarier than Zaheer. Plays her trash ass music very loudly while the kids work. Def yells at kids. She’s kind of funny when she’s in a good mood tho, and when she roasts kids it’s really funny cause it’s usually dead on. Her and Zaheer are those teachers that flirt a lot and you know they’re sleeping together.

Ming-Hua: Art. Loves drawing and, you guessed it, watercolor painting. Very chill and plays soft music but lets you listen to your own music. Super sarcastic and all the students eat it up. Literally a universal favorite. She runs Art Club and Fashion Club.

Ghazan: Guitar. Pretty cool teacher that definitely has some weird stories. All the students know he has a crush on Ming-Hua cause they flirt constantly, but he denies it. Runs E-Sports Club. Idk why I think that, it just feels right. Him and Ming-Hua are also the kinds of teachers kids become emotionally attached to.

Kuvira: Government and Politics also. Seems calm and reasonable, but is a total ass. Makes kids give up their phones, allows almost no talking, gives out more detentions a week than most teachers do in one year, and doesn’t allow for much discussion. Everyone wants her class cause she’s hot but most drop within the first week, to the point that counselors have to say no to some kids so they don’t have to get rid of the class altogether.

Bataar Jr.: Computer Lit teacher. None of the students respect him so they’ll play Minecraft the whole time or play inappropriate videos really loud. Doesn’t really put much effort into teaching, which for some kids is a dream, but for others is an annoyance. Him and Kuvira are the teacher couple that makes everyone say “wtf”. Literally no one knows why they’re together.

Izumi: Secretary/Attendance. Pretty much remembers everything and is super organized. She is the glue that holds the school together. Most students don’t know her name though cause she’s super quiet and works mostly behind the scenes. Whenever Zuko sends anyone her way though he reminds them of her name and to say thank you cause he recognizes how hard his daughter works to keep everything running smoothly. Izumi catches on to this and always manages to thank her dad with a nice tea and a hug.

Toph: Vice Principal. Scary as fuck. Doesn’t ever call kids’ parents cause she efficiently scares the shit out of every kid, so they never do whatever bad thing they were doing again. When she has to work dances, Katara always tries to get her to dance with her. She resists every time, but she always gives eventually. She’s happy to though, cause although she’ll never say it out loud, seeing Katara this happy at her old age warms her heart.

Katara: Health Clerk. Very sweet and everybody loves her. Sometimes kids pretend to feel sick just to talk to her. She doesn’t mind though cause a kid that has a tummy ache and a kid that needs to talk are both kids that need help, and she’s happy to offer whatever support she can. She also always offers to supervise dances when the school has them and always manages to bust a move.

Zuko: Counselor. Wants to be to students what his uncle was to him. Aang and Sokka were counselors too, some years ago. And while they could give some good nuggets of advice and offered the kids amazing support, they also would totally fuck up student’s schedules by accident cause those numbskulls were exactly that- numbskulls. So usually Zuko would have to fix that. He misses fixing their messes and, more importantly, he misses them (they aren’t dead, just retired). He hopes to retire soon too, cause he’s getting too old for this, but he secretly doesn’t want to retire just yet cause working at school allows him to see and spend time with Izumi. Since they’re both working, it’s not like they have too much time together, but even just her popping into his office to bring him tea or check in on how he’s doing that day brings a smile to his face that doesn’t leave for the rest of the day.

Raiko: Principal. After Toph stepped down cause she’s “too old for this shit” (her words), Raiko stepped in. The students aren’t a fan of him but he’s not terrible. And since Toph is still Vice Principal, she keeps him in check.

#lok #tlok #the legend of Korra #legend of Korra #Katara #Toph #Zuko #President Raiko #Izumi #Bataar Jr #Kuvira #Ghazan #Ming-Hua #P’Li #Zaheer #Unalaq #Tarrlok #Amon #Suyin #Bataar Sr #Pema #Senna #Tonraq #Iroh II #Zhu-Li #Varrick #Bumi II #Tenzin #Kya #Lin

[herohotline]

Wet Clay (P.5)

Shouta Aizawa x Reader

Summary: You’ve got your own handful of problems- being a counselor doesn’t mean you can’t also have anxiety or feel overwhelmed by it all.

A/N: it’s finally here!! thank god!! and thank you everyone who was so patient waiting for the new part. i honestly had a lot of fun making this new chapter- i wanted it to be a bit longer as a Thank You for the long wait. I hope you all enjoy it, and look forward to the next chapter!

Word Count: 5,500+

Tag List: @babayaga67, @cosmichorse95, @sugacookiies, @howthe-f-didigethere, @rintomoj​, @missadorable96​

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Technically-not-but-still-technically House Arrest is finally over, much to your relief.

You, Bakugo, and Midoriya were finally freed from Aizawa’s punishment and proceeded with your regular schedules. And while Bakugo and Midoriya have a lot of catching up to do, the same goes for you.

Which you weren’t expecting at all, but you’re pleasantly surprised by a few students standing at your office on your first day back greeting you and asking for a scheduled meeting.

Slowly but surely, word of you and your practice has been moving around the school, which is exactly what you were hoping for. Especially since it got out that you were able to have a successful session with Bakugo, of all people, the students seem to suddenly have a newfound interest in trying therapy that wasn’t there before. It’s the progress you’ve been waiting for to report to Nezu, letting him know that students even outside of the hero course were asking about therapy.

Due to your agreement, you couldn’t give them a session. Your time was pointed strictly at the hero classes for the time being, but it wouldn’t always be that way. You had the interested students fill out a simple questionnaire once the idea popped in your head, which helped you immensely for your reports to Nezu.

They were simple questions, not asking anything too personal, of course. Things like, ‘why does therapy interest you?’, ‘what problems would you like to talk about?’, and ‘what are some of the things that stress you daily?’

The answers you received confirmed that you were right from the beginning- U.A needed a proper counseling team hired, and it would be best if it was sooner rather than later.

And on top of all that good news (though kids needing therapy admittedly wasn’t the best news, but at least it was being assessed instead of being ignored), Nezu agreed with you! After hearing and reading your reports on the students, he agreed to start working with you to begin making after-school programs and looking for professionals to hire. It would take a few weeks, if not more, but the beginning of your dream for U.A was finally taking big steps, and it was overwhelmingly exciting.

You haven’t been able to fill anybody in on your news quite yet, but your change in attitude was noticeable by the staff and the students. It’s especially noticeable to the staff when you come in one morning, cups of coffee and tea hot and ready that you had bought for them when they came into the Teacher’s Lounge before class.

Yamada enters with Kayama, whistling low as he quickly walks over and inspects the cups. “Ho-hey!” He exclaims. “What’s all this?”

“Good morning, Yamada,” you smile at him and nudge a cup his way, which he takes with a gleeful hum. “I was just feeling good this morning and I’m really thankful to how much everyone has helped me settle in, so I figured I could buy everyone a drink.” Kayama walks up as well, grabbing one of the teas, surprising you with her choice.

She notices, a deep frown on her lips. “You tempt me, honey, but I have to watch my figure!” She gestures to her body, which is on full display at all hours. Not that you’re a prude, but it makes you wonder how the pubescent boys and girls feel while in her presence. You’re not envious of them. “But I appreciate you very much, thank you.”

“It’s no problem, I’ll make sure to try and get something better for you next time,”

“Oh, don’t worry! A little tea won’t hurt me.” Kayama quickly waves off your concerns and she sits on one of the chairs available in the admittedly small room. “So? Why’re you so happy?” She raises an eyebrow, and before she can ask-

“Nothing that you’re assuming, I’m sure,” you tell her quickly. “Truthfully, it’s because my work is going well. My tenure here might actually be useful- Nezu and I are talking specifics on hiring other counselors, now.”

Yamada cheers, as loud as ever, “really?! Good job!” He wraps an arm around you and shakes you- if the coffee hadn’t woken you up before, you were surely awake now with his energy! “Does that mean you’ll be staying?” Kayama perks up from her seat.

“Oh, does it? It would be so nice to keep you around longer!”

“I’m not sure about that,” you laugh uneasily, “what the students really need is someone that can be fully devoted to them and their needs, you know? I can’t give that to them while I’m still working as a counselor on the side, and I’m really not sure if I can give up that job.”

“Aw,” Yamada frowns, keeping his arm secure around your shoulder as he looks down at you. The man was freakishly tall, honestly. “Shouta will be so bummed. Do you know how long your tenure lasts?”

“I sort of hoped you were giving up on that,” you deflate. “But, no, I’m not very sure. But it’s probably not for much longer. A month more, maybe two at most. Then I’ll be leaving.”

“Leaving?”

You and Yamada turn your head towards the door, and you get a face full of his hair, making you sputter and sneeze as he laughs at you and apologizes (but it doesn’t sound like he’s sorry). You shove him away so you can actually look at Yagi, dressed in his usual baggy, bright yellow suit.

“Morning, Yagi,” you greet him tiredly. If you said before that you were energized by Yamada’s behavior, you take it back now. He’s actually exhausting. “Yes, eventually. I’m not officially hired, you know.”

“I must have forgotten,” Yagi mumbles under his breath, looking equally tired but thankful as you nudge a cup of tea his way and he takes a long sip. You remember him telling you that coffee was one of the things on his long, long list that his stomach couldn’t handle. “I’m getting too old, probably.”

“How old are you, anyway?” Kayama asks from her seat and Yagi smiles.

“That’s a good question,” he says, and then looks to you. “You’re leaving in a month or so, though? That’s unfortunate, Shouta will miss you.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Nice job avoiding the question, pro-hero,”

“I swear the two of you never quit it!”

The three of you talk over one another at the same time, and after a moment’s silence, burst into laughter together. Despite everything, these people had quickly become your friends, and chatting with them like this every morning was a part of what made the extra stress and work all worth it. “I’ll miss all of you when I have to leave, I mean it,” you tell them once the laughter subsides, and Kayama coos.

“We’ll miss you, too. I’m sure the students will as well, you’ve grown on them.”

“That’s true… I don’t feel good about the whole making-a-relationship-and-bowing-out thing. It takes a long time for a child to feel comfortable talking to you about their issues, and I finally have that! And now that I'd have to leave…” You sigh heavily as you rest against one of the tables, crossing your arms at your chest.

“Give it some more thought, then,” Kayama suggests. “Everyone would be happy to keep you around, including Nezu. Think about all your options before you make any decisions.”

It’s good advice, but the truth is, you’ve already done that.

The time you’ve spent at U.A has been amazing, yes, but you’ve never been more overworked in your life. The stress of keeping up your two professional jobs has you tossing and turning at night, and the burden of feeling like you’re going to let everyone down isn’t good for your mental state, either. For your own health, you can’t keep working the way you are now.

You’re going to have to choose. And it hurts you more than anything.

Despite all of that, you smile at Kayama. “You’re right,” you say, and you try not to sound as tired as you feel, “I’ll think about it.”

—-

The first thing you have to do with your new duties from Nezu is put together after-school affairs. He doesn’t give you a lot to go off of- he just wants you to put together some sort of event or club that the students can go to after hours that will be good for them. Nezu is nice, but he gives you too much freedom. It’s hard to create ideas all on your own and be the judge on if they’re worth the school’s time and money or not.

You’ve thought of several things. The thing you’re trying to do is create an original idea that isn’t purely formed around therapy , per se, but a way for students to vent their problems in a healthy and calm environment. Your best idea has been a little something you called ‘food for thought’, a baking club students can go to where they can learn to bake and cook a variety of simple dishes, and while they bake, everyone gets a turn talking about something that’s bothered them or that they’re working through, no judgment. It can be a bit therapeutic to cook in general for some people, and if you gave students the chance to vent during that time, you think it might be something healthy and fun. And then they could all eat snacks afterward.

...But you doubt yourself again and think about scrapping the idea. There’s too many variables- some students might not like the idea of group therapy like that, and some students might abuse the club by coming only for treats and ruin it for everyone else. Plus, not everyone likes to cook.

You groan and deflate in your seat, laying face-down on your desk. This is too hard…!

Out of nowhere, your phone vibrates. It makes you reluctantly pull your head up, grasping for the device and wincing at the bright screen when it turns on.

It’s one of your clients asking for an appointment.

You take a deep, tired breath in, and let it out slowly. Slowly you sit up in your chair and open one of your desk drawers, fumbling around for your planner and slapping it down on the desk as you open the text and start to ask for details.

Your schedule is crammed, a lot more than it used to be. You end up feeling guilty not being able to see your patient soon enough and give up some of your free time in order to see them. Not that they know that- they thank you and tell you they’ll see you soon, and the conversation is ended.

Somehow, you’re even more tired than before.

Eyes wander over to your plush, comfortable couch. It’s a tempting idea, but… the scattered papers full of drafts of ideas for an after school activity are staring at you, so you shake your head at the idea and try to focus on the papers instead. You can’t afford to nap right now, even though it sounds so, so nice right now.

Your eyes droop, but you can’t sleep. Absolutely not. Your shoulders sag.

You fall asleep slouched over your desk before you can even realize it.

—-

Waking up is surprising, because you didn’t remember falling asleep. It’s always odd when that happens- opening your eyes and forgetting you even closed them, so it has you sitting there like, wait, what ? For a few moments.

You’re not even at your desk like you remember being. Instead, you’re laying on your couch- something you very much remember wanting to do, but you hadn’t. You’re alone in your office too, which is even more odd. You don’t think you sleepwalk.

As you slowly sit up and stretch your tired limbs, you look at the clock on your wall and see that it reads 3:20- school is just about to end.

Drat. You were hoping to get more done before now…

You suppose that’s fine- you can always work more at home and email Nezu if you come up with a great idea by the end of the night, but you sort of doubt that will happen. You go back to your desk to start gathering your things, but from the corner of your eye, a bit of yellow catches your attention.

There’s a sticky note on your ‘food for thought’ paper. Your eyebrows spring up in curiosity as you lean forward to read it.

It’s not much. It just says ‘good idea’ and then there’s, strangely enough, a doodle of a cat giving a thumbs up. It’s not the best drawing you’ve ever seen, but it’s cute.

Kind of strange though. A cat? Who even wrote this, anyway? Who was in your office when you were asleep?

You doubt it was a student. You’re not really bothered, but… the sticky note says it was a good idea. You were doubtful about it, but the second opinion makes you rethink your decision.

Maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea? According to the mysterious cat-doodler.

Hm. You pocket the sticky note, and then put the paper with details of your idea in your bag as you continue to pack up. Maybe if you run into one of the teachers on your way out, you can ask them what they think. You should have thought about that earlier, to be honest.

Quickly you pack up and lock your office. You’re going to miss the train home if you don’t hurry, after all, and you want to get out of the building before the bell rings and the students crowd the halls.

Fortunately, though, you spot Cementoss- Ishiyama- at the front doors, and you wave to catch his attention.

“Ishiyama! You're heading out, too?”

The cement-like man looks toward you, and he walks through the doors, holding it open for you. “Mm. I need to make it to an appointment,” he says simply.

“I see. You wouldn’t mind if I ran an idea by you really quick? It’s for the kids.”

He shakes his head. “Not at all, I just needed to get out before the children did.” You grin and tell him you were doing the same- and then you tell him about your after-school baking idea.

By the time you finish telling him the small details, you’ve walked to the school’s parking lot and Ishiyama looks interested in what you have to say. “I don’t think that’s a bad idea at all. It’s creative, and I think the students would like having something to do besides sitting in a circle and talking.”

“Right!” You animatedly burst for a second- and then bashfully smile at your outburst. “That’s what I was trying to do. I’m glad to hear that it might be worth it. For hires, we could maybe hire a cook, and then the therapist who’d be willing to lead the conversation. That’s where my worry comes in- we’d be paying two people at most, along with spending money on ingredients…”

“Ah, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” Ishiyama says, and he slowly comes to a stop in front of what is probably his car. It’s a big, heavy looking vehicle- which kind of makes sense. The guy probably weighs a lot and needs something he won’t crush into the ground. “We have plenty of ingredients and food left over from lunch time, and Lunchrush would be willing to chip in. It could be something that’s held once a week, maybe.”

“Ah, you’re right. I guess I just didn’t want to assume anything on his part, since he already does so much.”

Ishiyama laughs. “You’re very considerate, but don’t let that get in the way of exploring your ideas. And don’t let Nezu scare you- he’ll let you know if it works or not. If it doesn’t, that’s fine. You’re not wasting his time.”

The words are, quite frankly, reassuring. You didn’t realize how much you needed to hear that, and your body naturally relaxes a bit. “Yeah,” you smile at him, “you’re right. Thanks a lot, Ishiyama. I’ll let you go now- good luck with your appointment!” You wave at the cement-man as he enters his car, but right before he closes the door, you suddenly remember something as you light up. “Oh! I had one more question?”

He looks up at you as he keeps his door open.

“Do you know anyone that likes cats?”

The question is an odd one, and his cemented eyebrows raise in surprise, but you don’t really have a proper explanation. Ishiyama thinks about it, and then he says, “the only person I know who actively likes cats is Aizawa.”

It’s your turn to be surprised. Really? You had no idea.

“Huh,” you say aloud. “Well- anyway, thanks a lot for your input! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

You wave off Ishiyama as he drives off, and once he’s gone, you pull out the sticky note still in your pocket. Aizawa likes cats, huh…? He might have been the person who looked over your paper, then, and he probably moved you over to the couch when you fell asleep at your desk.

The thought makes your chest warm. That was certainly nice of him, if that’s the case. But- ah!

The school bell rings, and you jolt into action. If you’re not quick, you’re going to miss your train home!

—-

Your phone had died on the train ride home.

It was tragic, honestly, because that meant you didn’t have anything to distract yourself with as you swayed in the crowded cart during your long ride home. No music, no texts, no articles… you busted yourself by reading the ads on the ceiling of the train, but there was only so much to read, honestly.

By the time you got home, you quickly plugged in your phone and started to make yourself some dinner. It wasn’t until after your dinner, which was just some quick and easy curry and rice from a package, that you were able to look at your phone again.

There’s several text messages waiting for you.

Some of them are from Yamada, and then there’s a few from a client of yours. But there’s an odd contact among them that you never saw in your messages.

Who knew Shouta actually texted people? He seems like the call-only type.

You click on his messages first. There’s three of them, all sent at different times during the day.

Shouta (7:43am): Thank you for the drinks. Glad to hear your work is going well.

You wonder who told him, but you figure it was probably Yamada.

Shouta (1:30pm): If you keep sleeping during work hours, you’re going to want to get a sleeping bag.

So it was him who was in your office! You should have known he’d be a cocky bastard about it, too.

Shouta (4:10pm): Bakugo only yelled five times today?

The last one was kind of funny. Without thinking, you reply back to him.

You (6:45pm): Thanks for the sleeping bag idea, but I’ll pass for now. It was sweet of you to move me to the couch, but next time you’ll need to wake me up instead!

You (6:45pm): Did you see Bakugo go anywhere after class?

Surprisingly, you don’t have to wait at all for his reply.

Shouta (6:45pm): You looked like you needed it.

Shouta (6:46pm): He didn't go to his dorm, but he stayed on campus. Why?

Hmm. You wiggle on your bed, plugging your phone out of its charger so you can relax in a comfortable position as your fingers tap on the screen.

You (6:47pm): I guess if anyone’s a good judge of someone’s need for sleep, it’s Mr.Baggy Eyes, huh? Go figure

You (6:47pm): also, that’s confidential. But I think he deserves a lollipop at this point. Bakugo cares a lot more than he likes to show, but the fact he’s actually thinking about our session and considering some new methods says a lot about his character. Thanks for telling me.

Shouta doesn’t say anything after that, at least not right away, so you move on and look at your other messages. Yamada’s are a bunch of absurd internet pictures, so nothing too important, and your other client who texted you is asking for a reschedule.

It takes a bit of back and forth with your client until you eventually decide on a new date where both of you have time- thankfully, it didn’t require you taking time out of your weekend more than you already have. By the time you’re done, you have one new message from Shouta.

Shouta (6:56pm): You’re right about that. Bakugo is difficult, but with some help, he’ll be able to do a lot for society. Hopefully you’ll be around enough to see him change. His trust doesn’t come easy.

The words make a heavy feeling in your stomach drop. Without meaning to, Shouta has stabbed you in the gut with guilt, and you’re feeling even more about your decision to leave U.A.

How could you leave, really? The students need you- but so do your clients.

Stress builds up in your shoulders again, and staring down at Shouta’s message, your head swarms with bad thoughts.

Anxiety and discomfort rolls over you in waves.

And you don’t really have anyone to confide in. Part of you feels like talking to Shouta- but you’re not really that close to each other yet. You doubt he wants to hear your complaints about work.

Shouldn’t you be grateful for your opportunity?

You blink as you barely make a reply, and then you toss your phone to the side once you turn it off. Your eyes look at the ceiling of your room, and despite the exhaustion deep in your bones, you’re suddenly wide awake.

You feel like you won’t be going to sleep tonight, as much as you would like to.

You (7:08pm): You’re right. I’ll try my best.

——

Coming into work the next morning is dreadful. The only thing keeping you awake and mildly aware of your surroundings is the caffeine that’s running through you- you’ve drank so much coffee and energy drinks that you wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a part of your bloodstream at this point. You look like a mess, but there’s work to be done.

It’s Friday, which is usually nice, because Saturday is your only day off. But you sacrificed your Saturday for a session tomorrow, so there’s no promise of a break for you for at least another week.

Overnight, due to your lack of sleep, you thought of three other ideas for after-school activities the students might like, and you sent all of them over to Nezu once the sun began to rise and you decided it was an appropriate hour to message him. He hasn’t gotten back to you yet, but that’s unsurprising.

With nothing else to do, you got on the train early enough that it's not even that crowded. You still can’t find a seat, but that’s fine. You’re afraid if you sit down and relax for more than a moment, you might fall apart.

Hence why you’re heading to work several hours early. Hopefully you’ll be able to pull yourself together before work starts.

You stumble a bit each time the cart shakes when it comes to a stop, but eventually you get off and walk to U.A. It’s practically empty, which is also unsurprising, but the doors are open for you, so that’s good. You were a bit worried it might all be locked down.

As you head to your office, it’s eerily quiet in the building. Beside the sound of your shoes tapping on the floor, there’s nothing. It’s a bit unsettling.

Maybe that’s just because you haven’t slept at all recently and your anxiety is through the roof at the moment. Who knows? Regardless, you make it to your office with no issues. But when you open the- unlocked- door, you jump.

And then you slam the door shut with a surprised scream.

“Oh my god!” You yell at the door, and you can hear the people scrambling from inside your office. “What’re you doing?! On my couch?!”

Kayama speaks up, her voice just a lilt higher than it usually is. “Would you believe me if I said it was nothing??”

“No! No I wouldn’t!” You yell back, and you rub your eyes with the heel of your palms. “I will never be able to wash my eyes from what I just saw, Jesus-“

“We’re sorry!! You’re really early!”

“Do you always do this shit on my couch?! I have students sit on that thing- oh my GOD, I was laying on it yesterday!”

“No- we swear-“

And then suddenly, as if from nowhere, Shouta is coming from around the corner with his face twisted up in confusion. “What’s going on?” He asks as he walks up to you, and you gesture angrily toward your closed door.

“Yamada and Kayama were fucking on my couch!”

“No we weren’t!!” Yamada’s screechy, way too loud voice denies.

“Yeah, tell me that again as if you’re not scrambling to put clothes on right now.” You huff, and Shouta’s eyebrows have successfully disappeared beyond his hairline. “Did you have any idea about this?” You look toward him, a hateful look in your eye- but he quickly shakes his head.

“I just got here. I was actually- well.” He looks toward your office. “I was going to nap.”

“ Lord - does everyone use my office as they so please? Do the keys I own mean nothing?”

Yamada wails, “we’re sorry- “

“Shut! Shut it!” You snap.

This is the worst. You have had no sleep, no food. You’re overworked and stressed enough as is- this was just the last straw.

“Clean up my office. Get rid of all your ridiculous germs- the door, my desk, the couch- anywhere the two of you touched needs to be squeaky clean or else.”

You’ve never been the type to really get mad, especially at your friends. Especially at friends who you haven’t even been friends with for less than a year. You try to keep your cool. This was just… bad timing.

“Yes, right. We promise,” Kayama says from beyond the door.

“And you-“ you point at Shouta, who is more than a bit surprised at your tone, and his face shows it. “You haven’t had sex in my office, have you?”

“Never.”

“Good.” You let out a frustrated breath. “Then you’re invited to get breakfast with me so I can cool down while those two put themselves together.”

He doesn’t really need much more convincing. He’s already walking by your side as you turn around, walking much faster than you normally do as you head for the front doors.

Shouta walks a bit faster and opens the door for you, too, which you barely mumble a thanks for.

It’s quiet as you walk down the sidewalk in the early morning, but eventually Shouta speaks up, keeping up with your pace easily. “Do you know where you’re going?”

You stop in your tracks.

“No.” You bite your lip as you frown, and you truthfully can’t even look at him. Instead, you keep your eyes on the ground, at the pebbles on the ground. “Do you know anywhere to go?”

“...Yeah. Follow me,” his voice is surprisingly soft as he reaches forward and nudges your arm his direction, and you both turn around as he takes the lead. You don’t walk for long, crossing a few streets and making a few turns, until you’re at the same place that Shouta brought you to last time.

The familiarity as you enter the restaurant makes you relax just a little bit.

“So,” Shouta starts once the two of you sit at a booth. A waiter handed you both a menu, but you haven’t opened it yet. “You’re not usually so tense.”

Shouta doesn’t make meaningless observations, you know that much about him. He’s inviting you to talk about why you’re acting strangely, and you’re tired enough that you take the bait.

You vent. You vent and vent and vent about everything you’ve been feeling lately- stressed from two jobs, guilty for having to leave, not wanting to leave, tired, upset you have to give up your free time, upset you can’t talk to anybody about your feelings, anxious that you’re not good enough- all of it.

You’re a therapist, so you know how important it is to communicate your feelings, but you haven’t been doing it for yourself. You should know better, but it’s hard. You tell all of that to him too, even though he didn’t ask for any of it.

He gave you an opportunity to speak, so you did. All of it.

And by the time you’re done, your food (which you don’t even remember ordering, so Shouta must have done it when you were busy ranting) is sitting hot in front of you and ready to be eaten. You feel like a hot pile of blubber by the time you’re done, releasing a big sigh full of all the ghosts that have haunted you the past few days. And then you stab your fork into your food, and it feels oddly gratifying.

“...Sorry.”

Shouta just barely moves his head as he closes his eyes- a fairly weak version of shaking his head as a way to deny your apology. “I’d be on my last wire if I saw Nemuri and Hizashi fucking, too.”

Despite yourself, you snort.

“I know you haven’t worked at U.A for long, but if you wanted to ask for a day off, I think Nezu would be willing.” You barely open your mouth before he’s already shutting down your argument, “you want to help the students, and I understand that. But how much are you going to help them in this state? You can’t do anything if you’re doubting yourself and you’re sleep deprived on top of it all.”

Brutally honest, but they’re words you needed to hear. You sink into your seat and nibble on your food instead of arguing with him, which Shouta snorts amusedly at as he eats his food too.

Once again, he pays for the meal, but you don’t really try to argue about that, either. You appreciate how considerate he’s being right now.

“You’re right, and you know it too, so I don’t really have to say it. But you’re right.” Shouta smiles as you play with your fork, food now finished. “I haven’t had a day off in so long, I guess I forgot they existed. I don’t even know what I’d do, besides sleeping a lot.”

“Sleeping is always nice,” He comments and you roll your eyes, because of course he’d say that.

“What do you do on your days off?” Shouta gives you a look and you click your tongue. “Right.” Sleeping.

“Could always go out of town. Have a day trip.”

“I suppose, but I’m not really sure where I’d go,” you hum thoughtfully. “I’m not really sure what I even like to do… I know I like spending time with you. But I guess you have even less time than I do to really go anywhere, huh?”

You’re too out of it to really think about what you just admitted, and you’re looking out the window so you don’t see how Shouta’s face shifts at your little confession. “If you’re fine with me being on patrol, we could go somewhere. That’s probably the best I can do.”

And you’re also not aware of how foreign it feels for him to offer his time up like that for another person. You really have no idea- you just smile at him and light up. “Yeah, that’d be fine! Just having a day out, walking around and all that sounds nice. Aw man, it’s kind of exciting now,” you laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as your nose scrunches up.

Shouta discreetly looks away.

“I’m not very exciting, but whatever you say.”

“Well, that’s true,” ow, “you’re relaxing. And I think I need to relax more than I need excitement, really.” Oh.

He just hums in response.

“Well, anyway. Thanks a lot for letting me say all that. It was really nice of you,” you move the subject along, rummaging through your things until you find your phone and click it on. “It’s still awhile until class starts, but we should head back and check on the two love birds.”

“Hopefully they’re decent by now.” Shouta rolls his eyes, scooting out of the booth with you, and with the food already paid for, you both walk out of the diner together.

“I really can’t believe those two to begin with. Did you have any idea they were together?” You look up at him as you walk.

“Honestly? No. And that’s on purpose. I don’t want to know.”

You laugh. “That’s fair.”

Shouta hums again in response, and the two of you chat some more as you head back to U.A together. It’s nice that you can feel a bit lighter than before, now.

But it’s not fair. It’s not fair that now you’re feeling better, a bit more energized than before, you completely miss the way that Shouta looks at you. The way he’s been looking at you ever since you were exploding with anger at his two best friends.

A look that’s a bit too akin to attraction.

#wet clay #wet clay series #buzzes in my seat #you: gets angry #shouta: wow wait. thats hot #it is 4 am boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #im really nervous lol i hope i lived up to everyones expectations #i didnt even want to put shouta in this chapter tbh because its supposed to be a slow burn jgnagjg but you guys deserve him so there u go #also i dont ship midnight and mic technically but thats where my writing went and i thought it was funny so lmao #to the tags! #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta x reader #shota x reader #aizawa shota x reader #shota aizawa x reader #eraserhead x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #reader insert #series

[sergeantsporks]

Swapped

Ch 4/5

Ao3

Or read under the cut

The year did not pass in a flash, even after he got a job at a little cafe. The year passed agonizingly slowly, with one dull moment after another, while in the meantime, Zoe came back with story after story of exciting goings-on at Hextech.

Well. Not every moment was dull. Sometimes the moments were painfully embarrassing as he would be called up to the board to attempt something he didn’t know how to do, or would be handed back yet another assignment with a ridiculous amount of red ink scrawled on it.

The teachers seemed to be catching on that he knew absolutely nothing, and had one of two reactions; one of them was to simply leave him alone and not embarrass him further, and the other was to attempt to help him learn by calling on him more often.

At least once the students accepted that he was dumb as dirt when it came to school, they liked him fine. A lot of them were incredibly confused about how he could possibly be so bad at school and then be socially competent. He tried to steer clear of them.

Douxie Casperan, please report to the counselor’s office.

Uh-oh. That did not sound good.

Aaaaand yep, the whispers started up, following him down to the counselor’s little room. Really, it wasn’t THAT hard to figure out why he was being called out. He sat down in a chair, his report card facing him with a line of F’s and D’s. Oh, and one A+ in history. He could do that, at least, having lived through most of it.

“Douxie,” the guidance counselor started.

“Yep, I know, I’m a horrendous student with horrendous grades, I need to take school seriously and apply myself. I know all that.”

“You’re a smart kid, Douxie. Your history grades prove that you can do well. And the teachers all say that you’re trying. It just seems like… you’re missing a lot of other information.”

Uh-oh. She was a little too smart. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you don’t seem to struggle in Calculus because you don’t understand calculus—it’s like you struggle because you never learned algebra, so the background isn’t there. It seems like no one ever taught you basic essay-writing skills, so you can’t write an essay, despite seeming to understand analyzing literature fairly well.”

Douxie nodded along as she spoke, but his attention was caught on something outside the window. Something very shiny, and glowing blue.

Trollhunter. The amulet. That bar girl had been right. And the trollhunter was… wandering around in broad daylight. A human?!

“Douxie?”

Douxie put his hands down on the desk. “You’re right, I never took algebra, also I’m nineteen so I don’t technically have to be here, bye!”

He ran out the door, grabbed his bag, and left school forever. He didn’t find the trollhunter, but that didn’t matter. No more calculus. No more counselors and school. The human trollhunter had arrived.

According to the instructions Merlin had left behind for his apprentice, that meant Merlin couldn’t be far behind.

Xxx

Douxie read Merlin’s instructions. Then he read them again. And one more time just to be sure. The old wizard hadn’t left behind anything specific. Only that there would be a human trollhunter, and he would be the one to wake Merlin. And that Douxie was to stay out of it. No handy dates, or a “meet up here!” note, besides a vague bunch of instructions about opening up a bookshop.

“Don’t stress too much over it,” Archie advised him, “He’s Merlin. He’ll contact us when he’s ready, I expect.”

“I don’t want—” Douxie bit down on his tongue. He couldn’t exactly tell Archie about his mission. “I don’t want to wait that long. What if he’s forgotten about us?”

“Merlin never forgets a detail. It’s his thing.”

“I know, I just…”

“Douxie. It’s okay. He’ll be here. Just… be patient.”

Douxie swept the pages of instructions off of the Hextech help counter. “I’ve been patient!” he shouted, “I’ve waited for nine-hundred years, and he can’t even bother to give me a place to check?!”

The door swung open, and Zoe took in the scene. “Oh, boy. Don’t tell me Mr. Arthurian legend is going to be here soon.”

“Well, the problem is,” Douxie growled, “I don’t know!”

Zoe delicately picked up the written instructions, scanning through them. “Right. Well, if you’re really so determined to wait around for this guy—”

“I am!”

“Then I suggest you open that bookstore he’s got set up. If he’s going to meet you anywhere, it’ll probably be there.” Zoe took his hand. “Douxie, can I talk to you? Alone?”

Douxie let her lead him outside, where she dropped his hand. “Why do you need Merlin?” she asked simply.

“What?”

“You heard me. Why do you need him? Why are you so determined to meet back up with this guy that abandoned you for nine-hundred years?”

“I—there’s still so much I don’t know about magic. And I’m not a master wizard yet, I—”

“Why do you need to be a master wizard? Why do you need Merlin? You’ve been doing just fine without him, or some master wizard title for so long! With just you, me, and Archie! What do you need some crusty old guy to tell you?!”

Well, being a master wizard had been the other Hisirdoux’s plan. But… why was he still holding onto some mission? One that he hadn’t needed to do for nine-hundred years? No. That kind of thinking was out of line. He needed to do this. For his parents, if he couldn’t do it for the pale lady. “I… I just need it.”

“But why?!” Zoe half-screamed, “What’s so important about it?!” She grabbed his hand again. “We don’t have to open the bookshop! We don’t know when or if Merlin will wake up! We can go anywhere, do anything—just like we did before you saw the human trollhunter! You can work here, at Hextech, the wizards here are so varied, you can learn whatever magic you want from them—some of them probably even know things that Merlin doesn’t! Just forget about Merlin and his instructions! How can you feel so attached to him still—you’ve spent nine-hundred years with Archie and I, isn’t that more real than any old apprenticeship that you haven’t been a part of for centuries?”

“I’m opening the bookshop,” Douxie growled, “I’m waiting for Merlin.”

Zoe threw her hands up in the air. “Fine! Fine, you open your bookshop, and wait for your stupid master! I’m staying here at Hextech!” She ran a hand through her bangs. “Gah, Douxie! I love you, but you need to learn to let go of some things, okay? Just… think about it. Give it a few days before you open up that bookshelf. Figure out what you really want, not what you wanted nine-hundred years ago and have been holding onto ever since.” She went back inside, the door slamming behind her.

What he really wanted.

He had a mission. A purpose. Right?

Well, what did he care what the Pale Lady wanted? She hadn’t been seen for centuries, just like Merlin. She’d just left behind cryptic instructions, just like Merlin.

But his parents—he couldn’t just abandon them. And if he was on the winning side of this war, if he kept on Gunmar’s side and delivered the information about Merlin’s plans—if he ever woke up—maybe, just maybe, he could make sure that Zoe and Archie wouldn’t get hurt. That there would be a place next to him for them.

Who was he kidding? They’d never agree to that. He couldn’t have a Gum-Gum victory and his new friends. There had to be something else—a way to get his parents back and protect Zoe and Archie and not lose their friendship.

He had to figure out a way.

In the meantime, he opened up the bookshop.

He kept monster hunting with Zoe and Archie.

He kept working at the café.

All the while, more and more of his skin was turning to stone, blue stone lines meeting pink flesh where Something Had Happened to Hisirdoux, but WHY?! So he kept covering up more and more skin, wearing long sleeves and pants even in the heat, much to Zoe and Archie’s amusement.

And he kept running through plans. But they always came down to choosing between his parents or Zoe and Archie. Volunteer enough information to get his parents out of the Darklands, Zoe and Archie hated him. But he couldn’t just leave them stuck there!

Then there was the problem of… well, explaining what he was. Could he ever tell Zoe and Archie the truth? If he rescued his parents, it would come out eventually, wouldn’t it? But he couldn’t just leave them stuck there!

He was set in autopilot, going through the motions of his day while his brain continuously raced to figure out the paradox of How to Not Lose Anyone.

And then he wandered right into a web of dark magic at work. He almost stopped dead in his tracks before forcing himself to continue walking and acting like nothing was wrong. The human trollhunter. Jim. He’d tried to get in closer a few weeks ago, shown up at the school, handed out flyers for the Battle of the Bands. Talked to Jim’s friends. He still wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong, but the trollhunter was glaring at him.

That magic, though. It wasn’t coming from the trollhunter. It was coming from… Claire. No surprise, she was the shadow magician, but… this felt… different.

And then a voice spoke in his head, slithering and cold.

Stay out of it.

Douxie blinked. Had he just-?

I am your queen, your creator, Morgana, Baba Yaga, the Pale Lady, and I am ordering you to not interfere. The girl is mine.

Douxie gulped. Right. This was happening. Okay. Fine.

Act as though nothing has happened. Your cover is necessary—Merlin may soon return.

Douxie steeled himself and took their orders—he wasn’t quite sure how to tell her, but Morgana wasn’t exactly… doing the best job fitting in. And the whole time, his mind spun and reeled. Had Morgana read his mind all along? Did she know everything he’d struggled with?

Well, don’t think about it now, he told himself, shaking his head.

Should Merlin return, Gunmar awaits in trollmarket. I will guide you to him, my special wizard. Soon, you will no longer have to pretend. You will be free to be yourself.

Morgana’s presence faded from his mind as Claire and Jim left, and Douxie shivered, rubbing his arms.

What if I’m not sure who “myself” is anymore?

#toa #tales of arcadia #douxie #zoe #archie #toa fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #dalmar #swapped #changeling!douxie au

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Breaking down the “leak”

It seems the leak from back in April is on everyone’s minds lately. While I don’t really see anything to suggest it is legit, there’s not really much else to talk about. I think what I’d like to do is go down the leak, bit by bit, and give my thoughts. I’ll be going through the points in the order I see them in a series of screengrabs, so it may not be the order the original post had them. A lot of this seems like it would be from a single episode, likely the first one.

The first thing I see is Steve applying to Hawkins PD, but being rebuffed for his previous vandalism in Season 1. This seems odd considering we never saw the police get involved in that. Steve being a police officer is something born out of fan theory, which further casts doubt in my mind. While it could simply be a nod to fans, it still comes off as out of place. Steve was last shown getting a new job at a video store, and we’re going to see him going for another job already?

The next bit is that Max is depressed and sees the school counselor. She has a fight with Lucas and then dumps him. Working in the school counselor from the earlier reported new characters could have been an attempt to make it seem more legit. I don’t know if that casting report was truly legit since it had more info than I’d expect. Max and Lucas fighting is not terribly surprising. Their relationship was not shown to be all that great in Season 3. Saying Max would be depressed links onto the end of Season 3, so, again, nothing too shocking. This could just be good guesswork as opposed to a leak.

Next is a new character Fred (an orphan, but more on him later) talking to Dustin. Fred tells Dustin that he believes his dad, thought to be dead, is actually alive. He was allegedly experimented on by the lab and then thrown into a mental hospital after he went nuts and killed Fred’s mom. This is a rather big piece of info for a leaker to have. The idea that there were adult test subjects was covered in the Suspicious Minds novel, so it could be a tie-in to that, but this part of the “leak” could also just be fan theories based on that same novel. I can’t see Brenner taking any chances with his work being exposed by throwing a subject into a mental hospital.

Next, we have Dustin having lunch with Nancy and Robin, while Lucas and apparent new character Eddie watch Mike be friendly with a cheerleader. If true, then Season 4 occurs immediately after Season 3, otherwise there’s no way Dustin would be in high school with Nancy and Robin. I was never too clear on what grade exactly Nancy was in, but she could potentially be a senior now. Robin had mentioned being in class with Steve though, so I would’ve thought she’d be his age. Still, it’s possible I suppose. Dustin having lunch with them seems to clash with his Hellfire Club status though, unless this occurs before he joins. One would think he’d eat with his new friends, especially if he ISN’T eating with his old friends. Meanwhile, said old friends are also split, with Lucas hanging out with Eddie and watching Mike be “friendly” with a cheerleader.

The next bit is where we’re told Dustin joins the Hellfire Club (set photos confirm this). It’s described as an elite group of nerds formed by the previously mentioned Fred. Dustin apparently is interested when they play D&D, but Lucas and Mike decline. This both clashes and fits with Season 3. Mike is bothered by Will seeming to move on from D&D, but it could still fit if Mike just doesn’t want to play without Will. Still, this seems to be building a rupture of the Party right after Season 3 showed how good they are together. Yes, it’s normal for kids their age to look to reinvent themselves, but it also goes against what the show was apparently building. Each season does have elements where there’s strife in the Party that gets resolved, but this takes it to an absurd level.

Dustin is then described as being seen as a “runt of the litter” in the Hellfire Club. That’s not really unusual treatment for a freshman in a high school club. His D&D skills and link to Robin gain him cred, apparently. This leads to him getting close to Fred. There’s not a lot here, but this “leak” does spend a lot of time on the Fred/Dustin dynamic.

Next is the “shocker” where Mike and El have a phone/walkie call that doesn’t go well. Mike is losing interest, El picks up on it. She says “I love you” and he says “I know.” Considering the level of detail on some of the other parts, this is rather brief. The exchange is verbatim Empire Strikes Back, and, while that isn’t totally out of the ordinary for this show, it makes me see it as something more fanfiction-y. The idea of them having a “meh” phone call isn’t too weird since we saw at the end of Season 3 that they were definitely not on the same page. It wouldn’t be hard for a fake leaker to come up with something like this. Should it be true, then it could spur El to go back to her possessive and distrustful ways. She may be driven to find out how to get her powers back in order to spy on Mike.

The “leak” specifically mentions there being no plans to include Chernobyl. This is an odd thing to say. I’m not sure how popular a fan theory this is, but it’d be in bad taste to work a real-life deadly disaster into a show like this. I don’t know why the person who wrote this felt the need to specifically debunk this unless they just wanted to seem more legit.

A flashback to Joyce, Hopper, and Lonnie in high school. That’s reasonable, especially since we know Lonnie is back this season in some capacity. I have no doubts that Hopper will be having flashbacks/memories during his captivity. This being believable doesn’t necessarily make this real though, as it’s another thing that’s reasonable to predict.

Despite most of the leak seeming to be from an early point in the season, the leaker goes on to say that there’s 5 major deaths (2 new characters, 3 previously existing characters), one of whom is one of the kids who dies in the final episode. Now perhaps there’s parts of the “leak” that I just don’t see in these screengrabs, but this is very odd. Prior to this is just looks like maybe someone got their hands on the first script somehow, or parts of it anyway. I don’t know how many people would be entrusted with every script, particularly the end, for this very reason. A single script getting out is at least somewhat believable, but this is where I lose any faith in this “leak.”

Finally, the leaker mentions this season taking place over the course of months, ending with the end of the Party’s freshman year. This would indeed be a change from the usual storytelling, and it would have to mean a slowly growing threat as opposed to one already striking in the first episode. That would kinda sorta work now that there’s no superpowered character to fend off the supernatural, but it would leave a lot of skipped time that I’m not sure would work in a show like this.

Will is mysteriously left out of this “leak.” There’s literally no mention of him that I can find unless there’s missing parts I don’t have. Someone who knows who dies would have something to say about Will, but there’s just nothing. It’s especially odd considering that if this is indeed the Party’s freshman year, then Will would have started school with them. The Byers don’t move until sometime in October, so Will would have spent at least a month at Hawkins High. This would also make Season 4 start with the shortest potential time skip, or perhaps no skip at all.

So, IF this leak is genuine:

There is a small, if any, time skip, with Season 4 beginning shortly after the Byers move in October.

Given the above statement, Mike must quickly lose interest in El, possibly even before their planned holiday visit.

The Party falls apart despite them all seeing how good they are together at the end of Season 3.

Max is going through depression, likely related to Billy’s death and everything else that happened (the end of S3 supports this).

Max and Lucas’ relationship gets even worse.

Mike and Lucas don’t want to be seen as nerds

Steve is still just a lost man child, or at least suffering the consequences of having been one for so long.

Robin and Nancy hang out together, and with Dustin until he joins the Hellfire Club

Will is a nonfactor, at least in the episode the bulk of this comes from?

I really have trouble believing this “leak” simply due to how the poster claims knowledge of the ending while the details all seem to be from the first episode. I suppose it’s possible they did legit get the first episode and made up some other stuff, but that seems pointless. For now, I’m just going with the idea that ANY legitimacy in this would be that it’s a real fake “leak” created by someone on the show to mislead fans or create buzz.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things leak

[yanderecandystore]

could you please do any of your yanderes with an s/o that has depression/addiction to self harm? i understand if you feel uncomfortable with doing it, i didn't know if mentions of injury count as gore. Have a good day♥️!

Hi! Hello! Actually, well, I just don't want to do really detailed descriptions of gore, but, honestly something like cuts and bruises are okay.

If one of my characters dies in a brutal way, I may not describe the whole gore aspect in great detail, but I would still be like "yo, there are so really disgusting things happening boo, I ain't going to show them tho".

Anyway my point is: yes! Yes I can do mentions of injuries ☺️!

I used an online wheel so it could decide for me with yandere to use, and this bad boy showed up:

TW/Tags: mentions of injuries // depression (reader has depression) // student and teacher dynamic (it may be uncomfortable to some people, so I'll just warn you before you continue) // mentions of deaths 👀 // also some fluff in the end cause we all need some.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Little sunshine [Yandere!Teacher OC (Only Matthew) x Depressed!Reader - Headcanon]:

Let 's recap. You're a student inside Amaryllis Academy, an institution known for only having the richest and most talented students. Students can either get in because by getting invited by the faculty itself, making an incredibly difficult test or paying for your scholarship. Usually, the students that have chosen the third option were subjected to bullying and unfair treatment from the staff. Some students think that those that pay their way into the academy don't deserve respect or sympathy.

It doesn't matter if you're just as wealthy as them, or if you can barely live with the money that you have, they would still judge you regardless, which obviously leads to you suffering inside school grounds.

Just the time spent inside the institution could be enough to drive someone into madness, he knows that, even if he is now one of the most respected teachers, his first year into the job was… Quite frightening. For a newcomer, seeing how only two students can hold the entire faculty into their control, it is pretty scary.

Seeing how every student is handled by a thin thread only because of some rich kid's blackmailing and insulting fellow classmates is absolutely disgusting in his opinion, and the worst part is how he doesn't have any power to help them.

Students don't come to the faculty to talk about bullying, as they fear worse things could happen, but after seeing a student being all by themselves far away from the main crowd made his heart break.

What made it worse was when he came closer he got to see why exactly you were over here. Your arms, you have cutted them with a razor which managed to take more skin area than you previously imagined. He needed to call help quickly.

You know the usual cliche right? No one was there to help you, so being the knight in shining armour that he is, he called an ambulance and took you in his arms as he brought you inside the ambulance. And of course you would only know what happened when you woke up in the hospital, your clothes changed and your bruises under bandages, trying to heal themselves.

He understands that you may not trust him. He is only another teacher inside the hellish school you hate so much. He can't blame you for not trusting him when he says he wants to help you. He wishes to help everyone, but you're the first person that actually showed physical injuries, even if they were caused by you, they all started because of bullying, and he is pretty aware of that.

So please, let him help you. This may be a selfish request, but please help him help others like you, things should never have come to this.

He wants to be the person you come to talk about yourself when you feel no one else is listening. He'll be honest with you and tell you that he doesn't have a better way of helping you, if not by being of emotional support. You may accept him, which he will do his best to be there when you need guidance.

You may also reject his offer, to which he'll understand but will still feel hurt by how he is incapable of doing more for you, or for other students suffering.

If you accept his offer, he'll make sure to always make time for you so you can come to his office after classes and tell him about yourself and how your day has been. It's really simple, as he is no psychologist, but come on now, it's been a long time since the counselor has actually done their job. Someone needs to do something or otherwise the problem will never be resolved.

If you reject his offer, he'll give you your space, but… Sigh.

He can't. He just can't give you any space. He won't interfere in your daily life, no, dear no! He'll keep his distance, but… He can't help but keep an eye for you. It hurts him to no end the fact that he can't help you, despite you stating very clearly you didn't want his help.

It doesn't matter which you choose, because even if he helps you feel a little better, you're still hurting yourself. Is not as much as you used to, but it is still rather concerning.

He knows you need something more than just mundane private talks, even if those help you get some of the stuff out of your system, is it really doing anything? He is worried he is being more useless and a burden than an helper.

And it doesn't help this growing need to have you closer. He… He doesn't trust you all by yourself, not as long as you keep suffering, not as long-

Not as long as the problem keeps happening…! Yes, yes he got it now! Now he understands how he can help you in a meaningful way!

Maybe the sleep deprivation and constant thoughts of you hurting yourself started to get over his head, but he can see it now! God, this is going to be perfect.

Catch yourself having actually fun days in school. Actually smiling for once in a while, not having the need to seclude yourself from anyone else. It started with one good day that ended up turning into a whole week of good luck for you! Yay!

You were suspicious as all hell as first, thinking that the universe was going to punch you in your face any time soon. Yet, it never came.

You haven't seen your bullies in a while. Hell, you haven't seen anyone being bullied in some time now! This was perfect, yet…

Don't get me wrong, everyone seemed happier, but… The school felt a little empty. It looked like a lot of people were missing school.

Or just went missing.

But you don't need to worry about that, you need to focus on more important things now that you're not constantly in pain. He'll tell you that there are three important things in this world, to study, to take care of yourself, and, well, the third thing is based on each person, what is the most important thing to you is the third most important thing that you care about.

Maybe you don't know what it is yet, but hey, there is always time, right? You find the answers for these types of questions in the most unexpected ways. But if you need a little boost, he would gladly help you out.

Not that you'll have a choice this time, your teacher had slowly made his way into your life, but is it really that bad? He just wants the best for you. He hoped his presence doesn't annoy you, he just can't help but feel the need to protect your smile, even if you only give him a shy little smirk he'll make sure no one ever takes it away from you.

You need someone to talk to? He is here for you. Need someone to help you with your assignments? Well, he won't give you the answers, but he sure can help.

Need a ride back home? Any form of comfort? Hey, sometimes we just need to be reminded how beautiful we're, so maybe that would help brightening your mood?

He won't offer those openly, but he hopes you'll soon get the point. It's his job to take care of his students and is his favorite pastime to take care of you.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Also have a good day as well!

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #yandere oc #sheep's stuff #yandere x reader #yandere oc headcanons #yandere headcanon #yandere teacher x reader #yandere teacher #yandere teacher x student #yandere teacher x student reader #yandere teacher x depressed reader #aa #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request

[lostinmirkwood]

Iambic Pentameter

Catch up from the beginning. Read Chapter 2.

She’s Got The Look

Arya glared down at her notebook, blank except for the pen doodles in the margins. She would love her final period Literature class if only Mr. Dondarrion would let them read something written by someone other than old, dead, white men. Who decided that Steffon Fossoway had more literary value than Nymeria Ny Sar? Nymeria was a Rhoynish rebel during the Valyrian uprisings and her writings reflected the plight of her people as they fled across the Sunset Sea to Dorne. Fossoway just wanted to relive his “glory days” of war through stilted sentence structure and pretentious metaphors about sunlight. This wasn’t what she’d had in mind when she’d petitioned Mr. Dondarrion to allow her to take the senior level class as a junior.

She would also love this class even more if there was a seating arrangement that didn’t have Joffrey Baratheon sitting directly behind her. He kept knocking his foot against her chair leg and she was going to lose it on the little snot-nosed southern princeling if he didn’t knock it off soon. She didn’t care that their fathers were best friends, that his grandfather was on the Small Council, and his mother was THE King’s Landing socialite, he was a prick. One who seemed to know just how to push her buttons. If she could keep a lid on her frustration that would be a small victory for her.

Arya tuned back in to the lecture just as one of her classmates was lavishing praise on Fossoway, “His prose is so romantic,” Marella Rosby was gushing.

Arya scoffed audibly, “Romantic? Fossoway? He was a misogynistic alcoholic who spent most of his life trying to shag Aerion Targaryen’s leftovers.”

From behind her Joffrey cut in, “As opposed to a bitter, self-righteous twit who has no friends?”

Arya rolled her eyes. She could see Mr. Dondarrion sigh when she carried on as though she hadn’t heard Joffrey, “I guess in our society being a male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time, Baratheon ,” she could hear his snicker. “What about Argella Durrandon, or Elissa Farman, or Nymeria Ny Sar? Why can’t we read something from-”

The classroom door swung open, cutting her off. The half of the class that wasn’t already facing Arya, and unintentionally the door, to watch her soapbox turned as one to see who was there. Standing in the doorway was Gendry Waters, his unruly black hair falling over his high forehead into his bright blue eyes, scruff decorating his sharp jawline, and the other reason Arya couldn’t enjoy her Literature class. When he even bothered to show up to class he always sat brooding in the back corner smelling faintly of cigarette smoke. He never participated in discussions, she never saw him turn in work, and when it was time for partnered essay editing she always seemed to get stuck with him. He’d flip through the first few pages of her draft before sliding it back to her with a wink and nary a word or a pen mark before slipping out of the classroom as soon as Mr. Dondarrion’s back was turned. It was infuriating.

“What did I miss?” His school bag was hanging haphazardly over his shoulder as he leaned against the door frame, everyone’s attention now firmly on him.

Arya rolled her eyes, and turned back towards the front of the classroom, “Just the oppressive, patriarchal values that dictate our education.”

“Cool,” with a crash the door swung shut behind him as her annoyance returned to whatever it was he did when he wasn’t sitting in Junior Literature, ignoring her essays and winking those blue eyes at her.

Mr. Dondarrion sighed again, his head in his hands. “Miss Stark, thank you for sharing your opinion on Steffon Fossoway and our curriculum. You’re dismissed.”

Arya’s jaw dropped, she hadn’t done anything today to warrant this, “But, Mr. Dondarrion!”

“Dismissed, Miss Stark.”

With a huff, Arya slapped her notebook closed and stood. She made sure to clip Joffrey’s shoulder with her elbow as she stepped past him, fuming, into the hall.

---

Miss Tarth raised a pale eyebrow as Arya swept into the Main Office. “Mr. Dondarrion, again?” she asked, knowingly. Arya nodded before pointing at Ms. Smallwood’s open door with a cocked eyebrow of her own. Miss Tarth sighed and gestured for Arya to enter the guidance counselor’s office. Ms. Smallwood was typing away at her computer talking under her breath as Arya stood in the doorway. Suddenly her head shot up and she shouted, “Brienne! What’s another word for ‘engorged’?”

Arya turned back to look at the secretary. Miss Tarth was staring at the ceiling with a long suffering expression and a slight blush before she replied, “I’ll look it up.”

Arya stepped all the way into the counselor’s office, closing the door behind her, “Turgid?”

Ms. Smallwood cocked her head to the side and thought for a moment. “Perfect!” she chirped before making a few keystrokes and waving Arya into the plain wooden chair in front of her desk. “So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Dondarrion’s Literature class again.”

Arya frowned as she sat, “Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.”

Ms. Smallwood looked up from her computer and adjusted her spectacles, “The way you expressed your opinion to Elmar Frey? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went well, if you’re interested.”

Arya faked a concerned smile, “Good for him. I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.”

Ms. Smallwood sighed, “The point is Arya, people find you a bit…”

“Tempestuous?” Arya supplied.

“Bitch from the Seventh Hell is the term used most often. You might want to work on that.” With that the older woman gave a firm nod and turned back to her computer screen.

Arya stared at Ms. Smallwood for a moment before standing to leave, obviously dismissed, “As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. I’ll let you get back to Aegon’s quivering member.”

The door swung shut behind her and Arya heard Ms. Smallwood mumble, “‘Quivering member’, I like that. I’m going to use that,” as the frantic typing resumed.

---

The day finally ended and Pod found himself back in the main courtyard with Hot Pie again. Hot Pie was going on about some hostile take-over in the KLP Baking Club that had his croissants branded “store-bought” much to his offense and dismay. Pod nodded along vaguely as he scanned the courtyard for shining copper hair, straightening slightly when Sansa Stark finally made her appearance. He wasn’t the only one who noticed her arrival though, sprawled on a low wall near them was a small group of guys ringed around a smug-looking blond who was clearly their leader. One of the boys nudged the blond as Sansa approached with the same friend from that morning. Both Sansa and the blond made eye contact as the girls walked by, Sansa smiling shyly and tossing her hair as they went. Just as they passed the blond called out, “Looking good ladies.”

Both girls glanced back briefly as he gave them an appreciative once over before they continued on through the courtyard, giggling as they made their way towards the parking lot. Pod felt nearly invisible as Sansa and her friend passed by him and Hot Pie without so much as a glance in their direction. He sighed quietly and turned back towards Hot Pie who was shaking his head slightly at Pod’s reaction.

Before either of them could speak they heard one of the boys in the circle around the blond say, “She’s out of reach even for you, Joff.”

The blond scoffed, “No one’s out of reach for me.”

“Want to put money on that?” the other boy replied.

“Money I’ve got. This I’ll do for fun.” Joff sneered.

Pod huffed in disgust and it was Hot Pie’s turn to sigh. Slinging an arm around Pod’s shoulders he turned them away from the other boys, “That, my friend, is Joffrey Lannister. Richest asshole at KLP, don’t mess with him. Rumor has it he once had a kid expelled for taking the last energy drink out of the vending machine right before he got there. He’s a model too.”

“Wait, he’s a model?” Pod laughed.

“Mostly regional stuff, but word on campus is he’s got a big tube sock ad coming up.”

“Really?” both boys snickered before Pod looked back towards Sansa who had paused with her friend at the edge of the courtyard, “Man, look at her. Is she always so-”

“Vapid?” Hot Pie commented.

“How can you say that! She’s-”

“Totally conceited,” Hot Pie deadpanned.

“No! There’s more to her than you think. Just look at her. There’s something in her eyes. She’s totally pure. You’re missing what’s there!” Pod exclaimed quietly, aware that his voice could carry through the crowd if he wasn’t careful. He wanted to woo Sansa, not have her start off thinking he was a creep.

“No Pod,” Hot Pie sighed, “What’s there is a haughty little princess wearing a strategic sundress that makes guys like us realize we can never touch her. And guys like Joffrey realize they want to. Put her in your spank bank and move on, man.”

“No, no. You’re wrong about her. Well,” he paused for a moment, “maybe not about the last bit but the rest, you’re wrong.”

“Oh I’m wrong?” Pie smirked slightly, “You know, she’s actually looking for a Volanti tutor.”

“That’s perfect!”

“You speak Volanti?” Hot Pie questioned, looking surprised that Pod had jumped on his suggestion so quickly.

“Uh, no. But I will!” Surely it couldn’t be that hard. They could learn it together if he could just stay a lesson or two ahead. He’d just moved here, no one needed to know he’d taken two, broken up, years of Braavosi. The root language was the same, he could fake it, right?

#iambic pentameter #gendrya #gendrya fanfic #10 things i hate about you AU #arya stark #gendry waters #my writing #chapter 2: she's got the look #in which we meet arya and gendry #and podrick hatches the start of a plan #we've reached the 10 minute mark of the movie

[curewhimsy]

Symphony Saga: Resonate: Haku Arc Outline (so far)

Chapter 1 (Brief cold opening where the big underlying plot is vaguely explained.) (Brief run-down of Haku’s life, and her grandmother’s recent death) Chapter 2 November 29... Haku and Neru are two misunderstood, troubled, 16-year-old students who meet at lunch and break period. They both have autism and are ostracized for it. Haku shows Neru her stuffed kitten Snowbell, and they bond and talk about nice things. There was pizza for lunch, but it ran out because the bullies pushed Haku and Neru to the end of the line. Haku and Neru had to eat nasty asparagus coleslaw casserole instead. The day isn’t looking too good for them... but at least they met each other. Haku is happy to have met a new friend. Chapter 3 Everyone starts talking about Haku and Neru and teasing them. Bullies start sticking Neru with needles during her walk to gym class. In gym class, Neru can’t walk far because the lunch upset her stomach. During the 5-mile marathon outside that the boot camp teacher made the class do, Neru lags behind in the rain. The rain turns into a thunderstorm while Neru is outside. The entire school loses electricity during this time. Meanwhile, Haku has a breakdown in math class because she is reminded about her grandmother’s recent death, and has to go to the counselor’s office alone in the dark. And the school is big and even scarier in the dark. Haku then trips and falls down the stairs. Neru ends her school day in the nurse’s office, and getting painful rubbing alcohol being put in where bullies sticked her with needles. The counselor’s office is nearby, and they see each other there. Haku and Neru have both had a horrible day. But finally, they can see each other again. Chapter 4 Haku and Neru meet again after school, and decide to run away together. Haku’s mother is always late home from work, and Haku’s dad is nowhere to be found. Haku’s mother is very neglectful and Haku is convinced her mother wouldn’t miss her. Meanwhile, Neru is an orphan and lives with her mean grandmother. Haku and Neru pack away their important things and run away to the mall where they find a secret room with a magical mirror. They get sucked through, and end up being transported to the magical world of Whimsica, in the town of Speckle Town! After stepping through the mirror, Haku’s plush cat Snowbell comes to life. They are sent out through a portal mirror that is in the magical world. This mirror is a one-way portal, meaning they cannot go back through it to get back to Earth. The mirror is located in a wooded area in Speckle Town. “Where am I?” They both ask each other. Snowbell, who is now alive, jumps from Haku’s arms and begins to wander off. Alarmed, Haku and Neru follow after Snowbell, and notice a very magical feel about the woods. They eventually make their way out of the forest and into Teto’s magical bakery. Luka is there too. (Magical and whimsical food!) (Add more details) (Introduce Luka’s pet, Tako Luka) (Haku and Neru spend the night at the empty housing space in the Cozy Building, which is a large apartment complex that also has things like a store, recreation center, and clinic. Others who live there are Ame and her parents, Teto and her parents, Taya and his parents, Ritsu and his parents, Miku and her little sister Mizu, Chapter 5 November 30. Haku and Neru attend their first day of Adventure Academy. Haku and Neru have two classes out of six where they are together. Snowbell also gets to go to school with Haku. In one class where she is alone, Haku meets friends named Ame and Joy. Snowbell makes friends with a little lioness cub named Buttersotch. Neru hangs out with Luka a lot. Teto hangs out with her friend Momo and tells her about the new students. At lunch, everyone meets together. A villain attacks. (The villain, however, doesn’t show their face, but they turn something into a monster.) (Haku and Neru unlock magic powers in order to fix things!) (Sparkle and Twinkle randomly show up and tell the two how to use their newfound powers...) December 1... It’s the birthday of an outgoing, popular person at school. They get to have a school-wide party that cuts through class time. In one of Neru’s classes, she notices a person who is quiet and seemingly standoffish. Apparently his name is Wallace. Wallace is quite tall, doesn’t talk much, nor does he show much expression. He is always working on something secret under his desk, and he’s very good at hiding it. Everyone spreads rumors that Wallace is doing something “bad.” Neru doesn’t believe the rumors and senses that Wallace is misunderstood. She wants to confirm that he is a good person, so she sticks around after class. Neru doesn’t mean to be eavesdropping, but when Wallace thinks nobody is around, Neru catches sight of what he creates. He makes small stuffed toys. Neru thinks it’s nice that he has a hobby he’s so passionate about, but she sees something else unexpected. Wallace passes by a drop-off donation box for children who cannot afford holiday gifts and drops the toys he made in it. Neru comes out to talk to Wallace then. He has a startled and flustered reaction. “Ah! Please tell me y-you didn’t see anything... I mean... um... I wasn’t doing anything... okay? You saw NOTHING?” “Huh?” Neru asks. “I don’t get it. You’re doing something so nice, but... you don’t want people to know or see?” “Ah... well... it’s....” Wallace turns red. “It’s... embarrassing.” “...Why?” Neru says. “Well...” Wallace says. “The toys I make... they aren’t very good... I guess... not yet, anyway...” “But... I don’t think that matters at all.” Neru says. “I’m sure the kid who receives your gift that you put so much heart and care into will be overjoyed when they see it.” Neru looks in the donation box, even though Wallace tries to stop her. “Aw, they’re not bad at all.” She says, seeing what he made “Ah, well... my father... used to make stuffed toys.” Wallace says. “They were much better than mine. He passed away a few years back. Lately I’ve been feeling down, so my uncle told me I could use the skills I learned from him to make people happy... and well...” “Well... does it feel nice though?” Neru asks. “Knowing you’re making people happy?” Wallace’s face lights up with an unexpected smile. “Yeah!” He says. “That’s great.” Neru says. “Well, I’m Neru. And well, I already know your name. Wallace, right?” “Yeah, but... um... I’d like to be called Wally, please...” Wallace says. “That’s what I’d want my friends to call me.” “Oh. All right then, Wally.” Neru says. However, two ridiculous villains (Maddie and Sadie, the mad and sad clowns) show up and try to destroy Wallace’s things he worked so hard on. Stelle, Lunette, and Celestine show up. They give Haku and Neru advice and tell them a message from Queen Rainbow, the Queen of Whimsica... Apparently, Haku and Neru have been recruited into a group that fights for justice all around Whimsica. All they have to do to participate is to continue to be true to themselves and to continue to use their magic, determination, and kindness, to settle problems. After this fight, Maddie and Sadie end up reforming and becoming good. They join Gladys, the glad clown, and form a trio to make people laugh. Intermittently in the story, Haku’s backstory about her brother Dell, who she lost before her parents divorce, had been told. We also get to know of Haku’s cousin Miku, who mysteriously disappeared. December 2 During lunch, Haku catches sight of Miku, her cousin and treasured friend from childhood who mysteriously disappeared one day. They have an emotional reunion. Haku offhandedly comments to Miku about her lost brother Dell again, but notices Miku grows a sour expression on her face at the mention of his name. However, soon enough, things are attacked again... and the villain this time is... Haku’s long-lost brother, Dell? Dell has been notorious in the school for being evil and causing trouble for the innocent. Miku, who also has magical girl powers, transforms and begins to fight Dell. Haku is in disbelief and is saddened watching two precious people from her childhood fight. “Dell... this can’t be!” She cries. “I know you aren’t like this... you were so sweet to me. You can’t really be on the side of Monochrome. You just can’t!” Dell has a completely different and mean look in his eyes than the gentle look Haku remembered from childhood. Dell doesn’t even remember Haku. He appears completely cold, and he seems sinister. Dell is creating monsters to terrorize and destroy peace, while not even seeming to bat an eyelash. Haku is heartbroken at having to fight Dell, but Neru urges her she has to do it. Eventually after a strong attack is fired at him, Dell retreats... Haku is left crying, deeply affected at what she just experienced. December 3 Haku had spent the last night thinking of what to do if Dell shows up again. Haku is a bad cook, but she stays up all night making a batch of the cookies Dell used to eat when they were still living together as children. She doesn’t give up until they taste exactly the way they did that time. Dell shows up again and Haku begins pleading to him. Dell begins charging an attack, getting get ready to hit Haku, but Haku just stands there. Everyone watches, thinking Haku is nuts. Haku starts singing to Dell. She sings to him the song Dell always sang to her when they were little. Dell suddenly remembers Haku. Precious memories... they begin flooding his mind. It shows, because he grows a soft expression stops charging the attack... But all of a sudden, he shakes them off and charges at her with a punch. Miku pushes Haku out of the way and continues to fight Dell. Haku is crushed once more. Miku notices Dell isn’t fighting with full force today, and he retreats. Miku even notices Dell seemed like he was fighting back tears. December 4 Dell shows up again, and this time, a group is with him. Dell has a really sad look in his eyes this time... Haku tries to give Dell the batch of cookies she made, but Dell rejects them and begins to fight Haku. Suddenly, all targets are on Haku. Haku defeats most of the group except for Dell and the mysterious leader of his group, and is in bad shape. The leader of Dell’s group attacks Haku. He is very powerful. To Haku’s surprise, Dell jumps in and helps Haku fend off the attack. “Haku...” Dell speaks. “It’s okay now. I’ll fend him off myself. You stay safe. I don’t want you to get hurt!” “Dell... Dell! No! I can’t... You’ll get hurt too...” Haku begins crying. To Haku’s surprise, the man says something strange... “Betrayal, huh? From my own children, huh?” “I’m NOT your son!” Dell shouts. Haku’s face turns white. “You can’t deny facts.” He says. “You are my son, Dell. And... Haku. I am your father.” Haku is too shocked to speak for a couple seconds, but... “No!” She shrieks. “You are not! You’re a part of Monochrome! You’re evil. You’re the one took Dell away long ago. You made him like this! You raised him and brainwashed him to be just like you! Dell... he was always very sweet to me. He was always protecting me. He’s even protecting me now! He never wanted to be a part of Monochrome! Now I will protect him from you! Begone!” Haku hits Gin with an ultra-strong attack, and Dell joins in. Gin decides he cannot handle it, so he retreats so he can live another day. Haku and Dell did not defeat him this time. But at least they chased him away...

#Yowane haku #akita neru #honne dell #ask to tag #whimsica #symphony saga #ocs #oc #my writing #brainstorm #fic #Symphony Saga Resonate #symphony Saga: resonate #resonate #whimsica saga #ame sugar #life of pastell #vocaloid #utau #haku yowane

[izzielizzie]

Chapter Three

Nate’s chapter is finally here! Sorry it took so long, but I hope the wait was worth it. And, as always, a big thank you to the very lovely @natewynoou​ for checking in with me, allowing me to steal some ideas, and being an overall great friend. Okay, here you go:

“How are you Nate?” My counselor asks me as I sit in front of his desk after school. I was called to his office to “talk about my week” which is a shit excuse since it’s only Tuesday.  I thought he wanted to lecture me on my attendance or my grades or some other crap he knows I don’t care about, but the look of actual concern on his face is telling me this isn’t that type of meeting.

“I’m okay,” I say cautiously. You can never tell what these people really want.

“Good, good. Yesterday must have been traumatic for you, huh?”

And there’s the ulterior motive. Simon. “Yeah, I guess so,” I say, crossing my arms. 

“You were one of the last people to see him alive.” A statement, not a question.

“Yeah, I was.” I can feel myself shutting down and putting up walls. This is starting to feel less like a conversation and more like an interrogation. 

“Interesting, considering your history.”

“My history?”

“You know, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Damn. That was my excuse the first time the police found me at a drug transaction. I didn’t know Mr. I-already-forgot-his-name knew about that. I’m thrown off guard, but I don’t show it. I laugh a humorless laugh and cross my arms, settling in my chair.

“I guess so.”

My counselor searches my face for a beat before nodding. “You seem okay. I think this concludes our meeting, Mr. Macauley.”

I stand, thankful to end this strange meeting. “Thanks,” I say, walking past his desk to push open the door and make my way into the hallway. It’s nearly four in the afternoon, and I don’t know what to do with myself. I might as well just go home. I’m about to leave the building when I hear someone sniffling. I should keep walking. Some crying girl isn’t my problem, but I recognize the person sitting at the base of the stairwell. “Bronwyn?” I ask, walking towards the girl. Maybe she’s upset about yesterday? I mean, she did watch someone die. She seemed okay when I drove her home last night, but maybe she’s not. The girl stops sniffling and twists her torso to look at me. Huh. Okay, it’s not Bronwyn. It’s someone much worse.

“Nathaniel?” I cringe at my full name. But Maeve Rojas moved away before I insisted people call me Nate. 

“It’s Nate,” I say. Maeve snorts and pushes her gym bag off the stairs next to her. I suppose that means I’m supposed to sit next to her. I don’t though. I lean against the banister and look down into her freckled face. It’s tearstained, and her amber eyes are dull. I haven’t seen Maeve since she was nine, and she looks a lot healthier now. I wonder briefly if she still has cancer. But I can’t figure out how to ask that without sounding like a fucking idiot, so I don’t. 

“What do you want?” she asks me.

“You were crying,” I say.

“And?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

She stares at me, and for some reason, she cracks up. Like, full out laughing so hard she’s crying again. She doubles over and wraps her arms around her small body. Nate Macauley. Comedic genius. “Jesus, Nate, since when do you care?”

I don’t know how to answer her, so I don’t. I look at her for a moment before turning on my heel and stalking away. I push through the doors of the school and make a beeline for the parking lot, where my bike is parked. I have the urge to kick it, but it’s old and the only thing I own that isn’t broken, so I refrain. I’m about to climb onto my bike and stress drive around greater San Diego when someone calls my name. I turn, and it’s Bronwyn. Jesus. Just what I need: another Rojas.

“Yes?” I ask when Bronwyn approaches me. She’s wearing jeans for once, and it’s a little off-putting. She always wears dresses. 

Bronwyn stares at me for a moment, unsure. “I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out.”

“What?” Now I’m the one who’s unsure. In the past five minutes, every single thing I’d known about the Rojas sisters to be true is apparently not true. Bronwyn Rojas doesn’t want to hang out with a person like me. Her family made that clear five years ago when they slammed their front door in my face.

“Hang out? I could use a distraction.” I’m pretty sure my definition of a distraction is a lot more destructive than Bronwyn’s, but she looks desperate.

“Um, okay?”

“Great.” She stands there, staring at me, the sun illuminating coppery streaks in her dark hair. I stare back at her, and suddenly we’re cracking up. “This is so awkward,” she says, wrapping her arms around her body the same way Maeve did. It’s crazy how similar they are.

“It is,” I agree. I’m leaning back against my motorcycle. I straighten and offer her my helmet. “How do you feel about pizza?”

I’m laughing so hard the waitress is eyeing me weirdly. Halfway through an olive and pepper pizza, Bronwyn and I have fallen into a giddy, half drunk state that I haven't been in since I was a kid. There’s something about Bronwyn’s sense of humor that makes her endearing. Back when we went to the same elementary school, we were best friends, and I passed most of my time listening to her laugh. We’ve overlooked the awkwardness of our situation and relationship (or lack thereof) for just today, and I’ve got to say, it’s a little surprising that I can still feel so comfortable with her. 

“Nate, do you remember that day in gym class? When we played baseball?” Bronwyn’s glasses are tilted on her nose, and there’s a bit of crust in her hand that she seems to have forgotten about. She’s at ease in her chair, her legs crossed. She’s tied her hair up in a bun, and she looks beautiful. She always does, obviously, but now she’s just on another level. Maybe because I haven’t been this close to her in… forever. 

“Fifth grade right?” I ask this like it’s a passing time I hardly remember and not one of my favorite memories, the one I pull out of the box in my mind that holds the things that give me comfort. 

Bronwyn grins at me like she’s a teacher and I’m a student who finally understands the purpose of multiplication. “Yeah!” Her smile drops. “I think that was the last time we were all… you know.”

I know. It was the last time we were friends. And by we, I don’t mean just me, and Bronwyn, and Maeve, but Cooper Clay, Addy Prentiss, and Luis Santos too. The memory hits me, all of a sudden, of that day:

We were in gym class, the five of us. Maeve hadn’t been in school for years at this point, but she knew about all the goings on in that private school. Cathlic school was not my favorite, but my friends made it better. We were playing baseball, and much to Cooper’s chagrin, Jake Riordan was pitching. He only went to our school for a year, but Jake was the bane of Cooper’s existence. I have no idea why they’re best friends now. I was playing first base, which still baffles me. I hate baseball, and I suck at it. Luis was catching, which was definitely not a surprise. Bronwyn was up to bat, and one of the obnoxious boys on my team told Jake to strike her out. Normally, something like this would have made Bronwyn burst into tears, but for some reason, Bronwyn just smiled a slow smile that I’d come to learn meant danger. I could feel a swell of pride in my chest before Bronwyn had even done anything. I caught Cooper’s eye on third base, and we grinned at each other. We watched as Bronwyn swung, and made contact with the ball. Bron never had good aim, but the ball sped towards the boy (I think his name was Sean), and hit him straight in the face. Bronwyn might not have been a good baseball player, but she sure was a good actress. Her apologetic shock was so convincing that Sean had been sent to the nurse by the gym teacher and Bronwyn had been warned to keep her hits soft.

We had spent the rest of the day in suppressed joy, grinning at each other from across classrooms and laughing loudly, but not loud enough to draw attention, when we regrouped at lunch to tell the story to Addy, who had art class when we had gym. 

“We need to tell Maeve,” Addy had said as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“For sure,” Cooper had agreed.

Three hours later, we piled into Maeve’s hospital room, claiming our usual seats: Addy in the armchair, Bronwyn at the foot of the bed, Cooper on the spindly chair, and me on the window seat. Luis got the coveted privilege of crawling onto the bed next to Maeve, a spot we rotated between the five of us. We grinned at each other as Maeve laughed herself sick. Laughter was the best medicine, Mrs. Rojas had told us once when Maeve was really sick, and we’d taken that to heart, making Maeve laugh so hard and so frequently that she would start coughing until a nurse came running in. 

I’m brought back to myself, and see Bronwyn grinning at me again. “I miss that,” she says quietly, like she isn’t sure she’s allowed to say that.

“I do too.” I pause. “Thanks for offering to hang out.”

“You’re welcome Nate.”

#multi-chapter fic #one of us is lying #sorry this took so long!! #izzielizzie's fics

[ceratinus]

Can you write a story about like doppelgängers?? Like that one astronaut one where there’s a guy outside the ship asking to be let in but also the same guy inside saying that the other is a fake!!

I hope you like this, it felt nice to stretch my creative muscles in this direction thank you ^_^

Idk how much this counts as a Doppelgänger but-

June 29th, 1992

Grace fidgeted with her necklace, twisting the little plastic charm over in her hands as the old camp bus rumbled over pockmarked dirt. Each hole was marked by a loud thud and she would bounce slightly in her hot vinyl seat, one hand leaving the charm necklace to hold her bag, just in case. This was her third year at Camp Clearwater, a run down summer camp full of noisey bunks, sticky benches, and a small lake buzzing with mosquitoes and every nasty bug children dare each other to touch without getting scared. She sighed and looked out the window, squinting at the hot sun. Her mother had told her to pack sunglasses, but Grace had forgot. Again. The bus rounded a corner and started its descent down to the campgrounds, hitting every bump and hole head on.

Giving a small grunt as she hiked her backpack onto her shoulders, Grace made her way off the bus with the other campers, taking in the familiar scenery. There came a shout, the head counselor was beckoning the "mayflies" over to a corner under a tree. That was her this year, not old enough to be a senior at the camp, leading songs and getting time with the canoe- but two years too old for the best beds or using the dilapidated playground. Grace bet her legs still wouldn't touch the ground on the monkey bars, unlike everyone else she hadn't grown an inch. She ambled over to the circle under the tree, looking for a familiar face in the group. Her summer camp friend was Sid, who always got to the camp a week early with the kids from the southern town closer to Clearwater. She was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she was late. Somehow.

The head counselor shouted at them to sit down in the grass and Grace obeyed, dropping herself and her enormous bag onto the cool earth with a thud. Everyone else had done the same, whispering among themselves and exchanging far-fetched stories of school conquests back home. The two other southern kids were sitting in silence, glued together. Grace leaned over and tried to ask about Sid, but a harsh whistle from the head counselor made her snap back around.

"Welcome to your third year Mayflies! Very happy to see you all here again. I assume you all know the rules by now, but just in case: No swimming in the lake without councilor supervision, no going anywhere without a buddy, and curfew at sundown! If we see you out after dark without permission you will be confined to my office for two days, meaning you will not only miss any activities, but you will also have to deal with me!"

She gave a loud, barking laugh, then continued her lecture. Grace was starting to lose focus, tuning her out in favour of ripping small bits of grass from the ground. Each little bit felt like some small rebellion, like she was sticking out her tongue at the councilor and her yearly mile-long list of rules. Something grabbed her attention though, pulling her out of her trance by the roots of her hair. It was a gasp from the kid sitting next to her, making her snap back into focus. The head counselor was still talking her nonsense, but there was someone next to her now. Someone tall, very tall, and with short red hair mostly covered by a camp ballcap that was casting a shadow over most of his features, making them blurry and hard to make out.

"And before I forget, I have someone I'd like you all to meet! This is our new camp counselor, Max. He will your primary counselor this year and I hope you all treat him with the same respect you treat me. Remember, you're big kids now, with bigger responsibilities. I expect nothing less than perfection. "

She gestured to Max, letting him take the stage while she strutted off to talk to other groups. As he came into the shade, the shadow over his eyes softened, and she could see a pair of watery green eyes. They looked like the algae sludge that covered logs close to shore, smelling of rotten plant matter and sticking to your hands if you touched them. It was when he spoke, however, that her blood ran cold. His lips peeled back,

"I know... I am new here, but hopefully that does not stop us. From becoming familiar. I am looking forwards to us getting to know each other, and I promise I will do everything in my power to make this a.. memorable experience for you all."

Was there something about the way his jaw moved when he talked, or maybe it was his tongue, clicking and rolling around in his mouth like some fattened grub? Was it his hands, or his eyes, that twitched in such an unnerving manner? She didn't know, only that something about Max made her sick. Her palms were tingling, right in the deep middle groove, her stomach doing cartwheels up near her lungs. He was done with his little speech and stood back in apparent expectation, being met with small claps and welcomes from some of the campers. They were dismissed to unpack, Grace picking up her backpack and sprinting to the cabins as fast as she could.

The inside of the Mayfly cabin was one of the oldest, and it showed. She was lucky enough to get a top bunk, but almost wished she hadn't as she stared up at a fat brown spider crawling across a beam on the ceiling. The other campers were on the floor, still talking about one thing or another, she didn't feel like joining them. Sid would have usually crawled up here with her, tucking her long legs into her chest and leaning against the back wall regardless of spiders or rusty nails. Sid was brave and impressive, always the first on the slack line or to jump off the pier. Grace had never been brave or impressive, but Sid never cared. And now she was gone. Grace tried to rationalize that maybe, just maybe she had decided to miss this year, take soccer or stay at home where she probably had loads of friends, cool ones. Yet, something just wasn't sitting right. Her mind kept peeking back at Max, turning his orange dead-leaf hair and sticky eyes over in her head. She turned over in her cot and slowly started unpacking in some effort to get rid of her worries, she was here to have fun. Or try at least.

A The Little Mermaid blanket with a picture of Ursula's human form gasping in rage on one side, Ariel on the other. Her camp pillow, stained on one side from her first year at camp, boring stuff for cleaning she left in her bag alongside the sunscreen and underwear. Two chapter books, one new and one already read twice, a stuffed caterpillar, and a Walkman plus four casettes. She popped open the little door where she put the tapes and gasped with delight. Sitting in the slot was a new cassette, popping it out revealing a note from her father.

"Dear Gracie, have lots of fun at camp. Stay safe and try not to miss us too much. Love, Dad and Mom."

The next three days passed uneventfully, eating greasy mess hall food and trying to get a chance to speak to the two southern kids. They were joined at the hip, never farther than a couple feet from one another, and never ever speaking to anyone else. Everytime she crept closer or sat next to them during dinner, they became silent almost instantly. Only their eyes belied a great fear.

Max was another story. Aside from his strange inflections- which he was mocked for mercilessly in the Mayfly cabin after curfew, he seemed perfectly normal. Normal like jerky or dried fruit. There was just something missing that made the throat dry up and the tongue swallow back. She watched him eat at the counselor's table once after being unsuccessful in her attempts to interrogate the southern kids about Sid. He was holding pleasant comversation with another counselor, tapping his fingers along the dark wood, plate empty. His mouth kept moving, but one eye slid away from his acquaintance and locked with hers. The floor dropped out from under her as he slowly blinked then went back to ignoring her. It was clear as day he knew she had been looking at him, her entire day out on the water was spent in fear. She looked down at her reflection on the lake and thought she saw someone behind her, but there was never anything there.

He caught her after dinner, speed walking towards her cabin. A warm feverish hand clamped down on her shoulder, any semblance of a scream dying in her throat. She turned around, hands shaking as he looked down at her. His face was twisted in something like.... concern? He bent down to her level and suddenly Grace was feeling somewhat confused. With both hands resting on his knees now he spoke softly, how one does when they are trying not to scare a wild animal.

"I know. That we may not have started off on the... right.. foot. But I don't want us to be strangers, eh? Please, let me talk with you by the water and hopefully I can remove some of this border between us."

Why she followed him she never knew, her legs just turned to reeds, and the wind was blowing in that direction. Sitting on the old camp log in the sand, he motioned for her to sit down next to him, and she did. His voice was still soft, trying to be friendly, honey sweet and non-threatening.

"I am aware... that you have been attempting to talk to Michael and Lucile about something. And that something is your friend. Sidney. Yes?"

Her hands dug into the wood, trying to keep them from shaking. How did he-

"She talked about you a lot, truth be told. Was very.... sad to go without getting to see you. But. We had issues between her and another camper. Two, Michael and Lucile, actually. I am. Technically not supposed to talk about this with campers, but you seem trustworthy. I can trust you yes?"

Trust her.... she nodded, if nothing else out of instinct. He nodded back, clicking his worm-tongue and looking out at the water.

"There were old grudges from their town. A feeling of replacement. Jealousy over what one felt to be the other taking a spot that was rightfully theirs. I think. The two started harassing Sid, and. It got bad enough that.... she had to leave. For her own comfort. The head counselor does not like to talk about these things you see. She does not want any one to be afraid. Of anything but her."

His laugh was almost imperceptible, more of a wheeze. It crept out between his teeth, grating on her ears and buzzing in her skull. Her entire body was buzzing, she wanted nothing more than to run, run far away from Max. But something was keeping her there, something new. He said he trusted her, he was talking to her like a person, more than most anyone but Sid talked to her. Sid... Michael and Lucile would do that? Drive away her only friend over some petty grudge? She didn't know what to think.

"I hope, you think about all consequences of your actions. Before you do anything. Some may ignore a... great deal before they find people a problem instead of a background."

And he was gone. Loping back towards the camp, leaving her with the last glow of a dying day.

That night her dreams crawled in and out of terror, she drowned in a green pool of algae before a hand pulled her out, a tall figure wearing Sid's face. It smiled at her with a mouth that stretched outside of its face before dropping her through rotten wood boards, down into a loud noise outside her window. She bolted upright, heart fluttering, skin coated in sweat. There is was again, a sharp tapping on the window by at her feet. Grace took a sharp swallow and crept over the edge, peering down to Lucile's drawn face. They met eyes and she immediately tucked out of view, leaving Grace with the option to go back to her Not Sid and worm-eaten wood or gather her courage and sneak out the door.

Michael wasn't there, and Lucile immediately stepped around the corner of the cabin when she saw Grace, beckoning with a single hand. Grace's feet stayed firmly planted on the porch, her eyes darting back and forth, looking for a counselor that might catch her. Lucile looked back over and made a pleading noise, grasping at something in between them with her hands. It was a please, plain and simple. When Grace still wouldn't budge she sighed and ran over, dragging Grace behind the corner of the cabin. She tried to protest, but Lucile immediately clamped a hand over her mouth and yanked her down to the ground where the two were completely concealed by grass and weeds. Grace met her gaze, a wild one at that. Lucile was more rabbit than person, eyelids twitching and pupils like two small dots despite the dark. To Grace's surprise she spoke, barely a whisper but fervent all the same.

"I can't say much or he'll hear me. The old storage cabin down the old trapper's trail. It's all there. All there all there all-"

Her muttering cut out and she started to get up, not bothering to brush any of the dirt off her nightgown. Grace tried to grab her, saying,

"Who? What's down there... what did you do to Sid?"

But Lucile just shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek as she turned her head and ran back to her cabin.

The rough dirt and stones hurt Grace's feet as she raced down the old trail, lungs heaving and legs carrying her as fast as they could. She gripped her necklace as she ran, the little butterfly becoming slick in her sweaty palms. Trees blurred past her, snapping into her face out of nowhere and making her face sting. The storage cabin came into view, its decaying shape sitting squat and rotten in the small clearing. It held a kind of menace, sending daggers of fear right into her chest, catching her breath and pinning it to her spine. She wanted Max to be right, she wanted to get caught after hours and spend two safe but boring days inside, away from two people she wanted to be nothing more than lying bullies. But, bullies don't get that afraid, she'd never seen someone who was supposed to be a bully that terrified in her life. The door to the cabin was unlocked.

Rot.

Rot and webs and death. The entire inside was covered in webs, carrying something akin to the dead squirrel she had found while helping her dad clean out the yard. Something deeper though, heavy and oppressive. It crushed her and pressed all the air out of her lungs, filling them instead with this foul smell. She started heaving and ran over to a corner of the room to vomit, hand against a wall for support. As her eyes opened she looked down and gave a small cry, involuntary and painful. She screamed and backpedaled, trying to reach the door as quickly as possible, away from the hand of her decaying friend.

She raced out of the cabin and looked up, then froze in her tracks, face already hot with tears. She needed to get out, go back, do something, get her mom tell someone she just wanted to be safe where was her mother where was Sid why that couldn't have been no no no-

He was standing at the end of the pathway, maybe fifteen meters away from her.

She screamed, loud and rough like clearing all the dust and rot from her lungs. He didn't hesitate, just sprinting at her, and she ran as well, back behind the storage cabin and on the continuing trail, wherever it went.

His feet made no noise as he hunted her down the trail, but she heard his voice getting closer and closer. That and the sound of wet popping and cracking, the breaking of bones and tearing of muscle. The silence of his movements was getting more irregular, segmented and jittering. A wet voice gargled at her, rotten breath clawing at her neck.

"I. Told you hhghhhgss told you told you.... stupid little girl."

A wet skinless hand pinned her to the ground, rolling eyes aflame with hunger, fat tongue quivering among needle point teeth. It leered down at her, tracing her cheek with a single boney finger, hissing,

"I think I'll have your hide."

#asks #writing #horror #body horror