#which is a LOVELY song it makes me feel things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tayytayy12 · 2 days

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From the start | LN4 x Reader

Summary - Reader and Lando have been best friends for years, but reader slowly develops feelings for him, and didn’t want to tell him in fear that he wouldn’t feel the same and it would ruin their friendship forever, so she releases a song indirectly telling him everything, not knowing he’d always felt the same.

Warnings - Swearing

Type - SMAU

FaceClaim - Laufey

Requested - yes - no

Yourusername

Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 4,927,290 others - Posted 01.02.24

Yourusername - Studio sesh 😙

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User1 - OMG OMG OMG OMG

User2 - DOES THIS MEAN NEW MUSIC SOON ?!??!?

GracieAbrams - 💛

Yourusername - 🤍

User3 - She’s so adorable

User4 - Y/n I need whatever you made in that studio like right now pls

User5 - Oh Y/n I fear I can already tell you’ve ate

LandoNorris - HELLO WHY DIDNT I KNOW OF THIS ?

User6 - the first time she hasn’t told Lando something

Yourusername

Liked by - LandoNorris, TaylorSwift and 5,100,104 others - Posted 20.02.24

Yourusername - Surprise !!!!!!! My brand new single, ‘from the start’ is out right now! Along with its music video, written and directed by yours truly 😙 this song is unlike anything I’ve ever released before, it’s a complete and true raw reflection of all of my emotions, and I hope you love it like I do. I love you, enjoy 🤍

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User7 - OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

User8 - KNEW Y/N ERA INCOMING

User9 - THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING WHAT

User10 - The music video is so fun and goofy but somehow so deep at the same time, I love it sm 😭

User11 - Y/N WHO IS THIS ABOUT

User12 - FR SAME

User13 - YES LIKE, WHOS GOT OUR GIRL WRITING WHOLE ASS LOVE CONFESSIONS

User14 - Literally my new favourite song

User15 - Okay this is so about Lando

User16 - Girl what ?😭

User17 - I see their point, the lyrics point to all things that they’ve said about their friendship

User18 - Like what? 😭

User19 - Like ‘Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate "She's so perfect, " blah, blah, blah’ Y/n has said so many times that sometimes Lando just sits there and says everything about the new girl he’s talking too and it bores her to death, I’d say that’s good enough proof 😭

Y/n.Nation

Liked by - User20, LandoNorris and 83,290 others - Posted - 23.02.24

Tagged | @/Yourusername

Y/n.Nation - Y/n was the guest on the Jimmy Fallon show last night !!!! She debuted from the start with its first ever live performance, then done her interview where she revealed that her new hit is about someone very very close and personal to her, her words were-

“From the start for me, is like a one of those letters that people write and throw into the fireplace just to get their emotions out there, but instead of writing a letter and throwing it into a fire I wrote a song and gave it to my fans. Which for me is kind of the same thing, they’re incredibly supportive and loving and I couldn’t be more grateful for them, every single one of them I love with my whole heart. This song is about something that I’ve been keeping to myself for maybe ten years now? Since I was still really young. God that makes me sound old, but it’s about someone I’ve known and been extremely close to since I was a child. And I think when you’re so close with someone, feelings like the one I’ve presented in the song can completely ruin a friendship if they’re unrequited, but the other day I decided it was time for me to ‘man up’ as my mum would say, and I went to the studio, I wrote and recorded the song and shot the video, and I just released it and I let my music do the talking. I’ve still not heard anything from the person I’ve aimed it too, so if I don’t get one I suppose that’s my answer to my ‘confession of love’ that I brought up at least seven times in the song.”

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User21 - Y/n told me she loves me

User22 - I’m crying this is so cute but a teeny bit sad at the same time

User23 - She actually lets us read her diary 🥲

User24 - Oh it’s so about lando 🥲

User25 - It’s so obvious I’m gonna cry

User26 - LANDO ANSWER HER RN

User27 - ‘Since I was really young’ she really has loved him from the start

User28 - Okay this relationship is a need now please

User29 - same it’s not even a joke anymore

User30 - Lando it’s in your hands now do the right thing

User31 - LANDO LIKED THAT HAS TO BE GOOD

LN.Updates

Liked by - Yourusername, user32 and 89,191 others - Posted - 25.02.24

Tagged | @/LandoNorris

LN.Updates - Lando on a podcast recently!!! He never addresses Y/n by name, but I think we’d be right in assuming that’s who’s he’s talking about

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User33 - MY LANY/N HEART HAS BEEN GROWING THIS PAST WEEK

User34 - I need someone who looks at me the way Lando looks whenever Y/n is mentioned

User35 - WE ALL DO

User36 - HE FEELS THE SAME HE FEELS THE SAME

User37 - Y/N LIKED OMGGG

User38 - Gonna die

User39 - I need them together right now

User40 - All the Lany/n haters right now are hiding

User41 - As they should be

LandoNorris

Liked by - Yourusername, OscarPiastri and 2,008,99 others - Posted - 22.04.24

Tagged | @/yourusername

LandoNorris - Just thinking of youuuuu 🤍🤍

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User42 - EVERYBODY WAKE UP LANY/N HAS BEEN CONFIRMED

User42 - SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

User43 - RIP ME

User44 - WHY THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU TWO MONTHS TO CONFIRM THIS

LandoNorris - We was in a funny mood, we’ve been together since the day after that podcast 🫠

User45 - SHUT THE FUCK UP

User46 - So, before the even confirmed their relationship, they’ve been on a boat trip, she’s been to races, AND they’ve gone to the beach while we all through that they wasn’t together

User47 - The from the start lyrcis 😩

Yourusername - That was a great coffee

LandoNorris - I made a cute hard launch post and you focus on the coffee you had over a month ago?

Yourusername - It was a really good coffee 🥲

LandoNorris - I’ll buy you more

Yourusername - I love youuu 🥲

LandoNorris - I love you more 🤍

User48 - I’m going to sleep on the highway

Yourusername

Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 2,991,295 others - Posted 22.04.24

Tagged | @/LandoNorris

Yourusername - When I say from the start, I really mean it 🤍

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User49 - This is the kind of love I NEED.

LandoNorris - I love you, I always have

Yourusername - Funny, I could say that same thing. I love you so much more

LandoNorris - Impossible

User50 - This is why I wish my mum had a best friend with a son, cause this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

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jennifer-jeong · 3 days

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[Smut] [Various x AFAB!Reader] “Force me and choke me ‘till I pass out”

CONTENT

"My kinda love" Song: The Weeknd - One Of The Girls

NSFW, 18+, smut, assigned female at birth (AFAB) reader, fem reader, hard kinks, kissing, choking, ripping clothes, getting manhandled, hair pulling, spanking, vaginal penetration, belly bulge, clit play, orgasm, creampie, established relationship, consent implied, safeword mention but not used during it, your boyfriend being soft with you when he’s not rearranging your insides, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

RYOMEN SUKUNA, FUSHIGURO TOJI, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, EREN YEAGER, CHILDE, WRIOTHESLEY, Wanderer

Word Count: 1371

You absolutely loved how rough your boyfriend was with you. He was a bit pent up after not seeing you for a few days so as soon as you walked in the door, his hand was on your neck, pushing his lips onto yours. He forced your body against the wall as he deepened the kiss.

You moaned into the kiss while his free hand roamed your body. “Babe wai-” you said as you tried to pull away from the kiss. “Shut up, be good f’me” he growled back before slamming his lips into yours again as heat pooled at your core at the sentence. He grabbed at your tits then slid around to your ass to slap it, hard. You mewled at the sting and the sounds you were making fogged up your boyfriend's mind. The only thing going on in his mind was your body and how he needed it right now. His hand left your neck so both hands could rip your black leggings in half. You were about to protest but he quickly threw you over his shoulder. The ease with which he tossed your body around was dizzying. It was fucking hot.

“Eager are we?” you tease.

“I know you love it.” He says while he reaches his free arm across to spank your ass.

He wasted no time in standing you in front of the bed and bending you over. He hooked a finger under your panties, moaning at the strings of slick connecting the fabric to your pussy.

“You really are such a good fucking girl f’me,” he says in a deep voice laced with pure lust.

“Mmph- just for you daddy~” you reply, arching your back and showing off your ass to him.

He rips your panties in half as well, needing access immediately. You start to get up so you could at least take off your shirt and help him take some clothes off but he grips your hips hard and pushes you back into the bed.

“Where do you think you’re going princess? I can’t wait any longer,” he says.

“Wha-” you start but he cuts you off by grabbing a fist full of your hair and pushing your face into the plush blankets. He pulls down his pants just enough to take his aching hard-on out, not wanting to waste time taking his pants off fully. He uses his free hand to rub his tip along your slick folds which earns him a muffled whimper from you.

You want to tell him to at least be gentle if he’s not going to prep you with his fingers but it just comes out as muffles into the bed.

“Hm? Can’t hear ya darling, gotta speak up,” he says with a shit eating grin that makes your eyes roll even though you can’t see it, you just know that he’s doing it.

He pops the tip into your aching cunt and you think he’s going to ease you into it but you’re quickly cut off by his cock ramming into you all at once. The stretch stings but very quickly turns into pleasure especially after you feel him twitch inside you and moan loudly.

“So fucking wet ngh- you’re spoiling me, doll,” he moans breathlessly.

He starts moving, your slick helping him glide in and out. His veiny shaft drags your walls in all the right ways. Something about the feeling of the skin on his raw cock just feels so much more heavenly than any dildo. Not to mention the pure fucking size of him. He was big enough to kiss your cervix even in this position. He knows exactly how to find your sensitive spots and so he angles his hips down to drag his cock along your g spot every thrust. The girth and length added to the pleasure since he made you feel so full and was able to stimulate your a spot and cervix too.

Soon after, he starts to speed up and the “plap” sounds of his skin hitting yours starts to echo around you two.

“Fuuuck, you’re so fucking perfect. You take me so fucking well.” He groans through his teeth, hand still fisting your hair, giving you a dull sting on your scalp that he knows you love.

You’re still moaning into the bed, slowly going dumb as he fucks you so good your vision blurs. He’s not even touching your clit or anything yet and you’re so fucking close. Your mixed arousal was soaking whatever was left of your ripped leggings as it all slowly dripped down from your sopping cunt.

“Ngghhh fuck, such a good fucking slut f’me,” he says as he starts getting close. He spanks you as his mind starts to function on pure desire as lust takes over him. He alternates between your left and right cheek, spanking until they’re both red while you mewl at every hit.

He suddenly releases your hair and pulls you up so he can choke you with one hand. His arm is wrapped around to the front of your body as he applies pressure onto your neck. Your voice, no longer muffled, is driving him crazy.

“Ngh-! D-daddy, feels s’good. You fill me up so good mmmphh! Ah-!” you moan out to him.

“Yeah? Mmm, can feel you twitching around me princess, gonna cum?”

You manage a small “mmhm” in response, your eyes rolled back into your skull.

His free hand finds its way to your lower stomach. He feels himself bulging through your skin every time he thrusts. It turns both of you on so much. He presses on it to make you feel more pressure on your g spot.

“Haah! P-please d-daddy,” you beg mindlessly, not even able to voice what you want.

He knows exactly what you need though. His hand from your stomach travels south towards your clit. “Don’t worry baby, let go. You deserve it.” He starts playing with your clit as you choke out sobs. Your head starting to feel the effects of him choking you so hard.

You arch your back as you start to approach your high, eyes squeezed shut and rolled back into your head.

“Yeah, c’mon baby, you can do it. Such a good girl,” he encourages you and releases some pressure on your neck. Your orgasm finally hits like a fucking truck. Your body seizes and your cunt clenches around him as intense waves of pleasure wash over you, your mind going blank. You let out high pitched moans that turn into deeper, full moans as you start to come down and register the pleasure.

“G-gonna cum mmph-! Inside, darling,” he stutters out to you, not even sure if you heard him.

Now you’re both moaning messes as his thrusts go from erratically fast to slow and languid. Pushing the cum in and out of you, helping both of you ride your highs for as long as possible.

He finally stills, deep inside you as both of you breathe heavily. He lets go of you so you can relax and lay back down. He helps you lay down on your back, admiring you and the cum dripping out of you. He bends down to kiss you slow.

“Love you s’much baby. Was that okay?” He asks.

“Love… you… too…that was amazing… don’t worry” you say between breaths.

“Okayy, just making sure you remember that we have a safeword. I don’t ever wanna hurt you darling.” He says, adoration and concern in his eyes as he kisses your cheeks and forehead.

“You’re so sweet but we talked about this” you giggle. “You’re always so thoughtful for reminding me though… But… you know this is how I like it sometimes,” you say in a flirty tone.

“Oh?” he chuckles. “Well then…”

He starts to manhandle your shirt and bra off you before sliding the ripped fabric of your pants off. You giggle at his eagerness.

He get himself undressed and slots himself between your legs again, grabbing the back of your knees and pushing them towards your chest, bending you in half.

“Don’t mind if I do,,,” He finishes his sentence.

You were in for a long night with your lover. But, you had no complaints <3

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST<3 ||

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sigridstumb · 3 days

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Me and Tom Ripley

The Talented Mr. Ripley. The Imposters. The Grifters. Inventing Anna. Saltburn.

I love stories about con artists, sociopaths, and imposters.

I've rewatched the Netflix series Ripley about six times since it came out.

When I was about thirteen years old, I read every book in the local public library about cons and cold reading. I read about how to win people over in business, I learned how to cold read. There were all these books out there that TEACH you how to pretend to be a normal person that someone wants to be friends with! These books teach you how to get people to trust you, to believe you!

I found these to be amazing tools. I could not get people to believe me, I could not figure out why people disliked me. I could not figure out what I was doing so wrong that made bullies kick me in the halls or throw things at me from schoolbuses. I knew it was something wrong with me, I knew I was messing something up, I knew I was failing. So I studied.

I studied how to fake the things I actually felt and believed.

The thing was, I wasn't lying most of the time. Most of the time I was using the social techniques of con artists and cold readers to get people to believe that things I meant. If I said "yes I like this song" in a way that was natural and comfortable for me, the person I was talking to thought I was being sarcastic and mean and that I hated the song, that I thought poorly of them for liking it. I did not! I liked the song! But to get the other person to believe me I had to remember to do all these extra things, like turn my body to 3/4 face the other person, to smile, to make me voice sound like a smile. I would think about cuddling a puppy in order to get the right amount of warmth in my eyes. I would lean in and raise the pitch of my voice.

There are all these extra THINGS I had to learn and remember to do in order to get people to respond to what I intended to say.

So, yes, I love media about con artists and grifters. I love watching people be good at that switch, at putting on the mask. I love watching people in a panic that they will be caught, be revealed, because that's how most social interactions feel to me -- constant worry that my mask will slip and the person I am talking to will suddenly feel that I'm lying to them, that I'm faking everything. (I am faking everything but it's to make sure they believe the truth! Which they won't believe unless I fake everything! I am an imposter, but in support of the truth!!)

Part of what I love about the Netflix Ripley is that Tom is only good at lying to other people when he has successfully gotten himself to believe what he is about to say. He practices and rehearses his lies so that he can sell them to others. I used to practice my facial expression in the mirror, trying to get them to look like other people's faces and expressions. I would practice my tone of voice and how to make it sound warm and friendly. All the things Tom does -- except the murders! and the theft! -- all the SOCIAL things Tom does, I have done those things in an effort to hide my autism and be accepted by the people whose respect and friendship I wanted.

Con artists, cold readers, and comic books taught me how to pretend to be neurotypical.

#actuallyautistic #autistic #masking #neurodivergent #tom ripley #ripley #the talented mr ripley #con artists #cold reading

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bookyeom · 10 hours

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whatever you say, bro - chs

pairing: vernon x reader word count: 1.2k warnings: kissing, Shrek slander request prompt: "You're cute." "What did you say?" + "are you flirting with me?" "I’ve been trying to do that for three years."

A/N: Thanks so much for all the support on my 700 follower celebration. You guys rock! I'm doing my best to get through the requests, but there were way more than I anticipated so bear with me!

Vernonie [8:59pm]: we still on for tomorrow night?

Your heart leaps, like it always does, when Vernon’s name pops up on your screen.

Y/N [9:01pm]: yeah! see you then, bro

You sigh heavily, throwing your phone down onto the bed beside you and rolling over, pulling your pillow into your chest.

Bro.

It’s a defense mechanism, you know, but it’s getting a bit ridiculous now. You’ve taken to throwing out the word nervously when he gets too close – which seems to be more often than not lately. You’d been worried that your crush on Vernon was getting disgustingly apparent, and so you'd started with this whole "bro" nonsense. Now, you don’t know how to get out of it.

Every time he catches you looking at him and raises a dramatic brow; every time you’re making plans to hang out just the two of you; every time his hand accidentally brushes yours while he hands over a headphone for you to listen to a song – you find a way to call him 'bro'. So that he knows it’s all strictly platonic. Which it’s not, of course – not for you – but his friendship means more to you than anything in this world, and you’re not going to jeopardize that just because you think he’s hot. And kind. And funny.

Sure thing, bro. See you tomorrow, bro. I love movie nights with you, bro. I love when you show me new music or video games and your face lights up, bro. I love your eyes and the way you laugh at your own jokes, bro. While we're at it, your smile is pretty nice too, bro.

You close your eyes with a sigh.

"Thumb war."

"What?"

You’re sitting on the floor in Vernon’s apartment the next day, arguing over which movie to watch. It’s been at least a half hour of back and forth, so you'd decided to take matters into your own hands, and had proposed the most obvious solution.

"Thumb war," you repeat. "Winner gets to pick the movie."

Vernon eyes you warily. "Fine. You're on."

As soon as his fingers curl into yours, you can feel your stomach flutter. His touch sends goosebumps across your skin, and you regret the suggestion instantly, but you must carry on. For honour – and for the fact that if he makes you watch Shrek 2 again you might scream.

You square your shoulders and laugh at Vernon’s face, which has instantly turned competitive. You count down, and as your thumbs begin to battle, you feel the competitiveness in yourself grow, too.

“Yes!” You cry. You have him pinned.

You’re counting down when Vernon suddenly surges forward, your hands falling apart as you let out an ‘oof’ and fall to the ground. You let out a squeak as your back hits the floor with a soft thud, Vernon landing on top of you. His arms are on either side of your head as he pushes himself up a little, chest hovering above yours, and you can audibly hear the way your breath catches in your throat.

"Just shut up and let me pick a movie," he says breathlessly, and you’re sure you've forgotten how to breathe. His hips are between your knees, his chest pressed to yours, and you can feel every part of him against you.

"Make me shut up," come your words, and you regret it immediately. His eyebrows raise, just as surprised as you are, and you swear he falters a little.

"I will," he says back after a pause, and you can’t tear your gaze away from his. "I'll kiss you."

The blood is rushing to your cheeks before you have time to think. Around now would be the time that you look away, but he’s so close that you can’t. Your heart is nearly pounding out of your chest, and you’re certain he can hear it. Or feel it.

Your head is spinning as you force out a laugh before saying, "Okay, bro."

Vernon’s eyes search your face before meeting your gaze again. His expression is serious, and you hold your breath as you wait for him to react.

But all he does is stand up, holding his hands up in surrender. "You can choose.”

For the rest of the night, things feel a bit awkward between you. You don’t comment on it like you normally would, because Vernon hasn’t said anything, which means he’s probably forgotten and it’s just you that’s making it weird now. You make it through your pick, and then he surprises you by picking one of your other favourites to watch as a second movie. It’s sweet, but you’re confused since he'd caused such a fuss earlier.

As the movie progresses, you begin to relax a little. You can feel Vernon’s eyes on you as you giggle to yourself, and you shoot him a glare.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. You turn back to the TV, focusing again when you hear him add, quieter, “You’re cute.”

Your head whips back in his direction. He avoids your gaze this time, the only telltale sign he notices you looking shown in the way he fidgets with the remote.

“What did you say?”

“I said you’re annoying.”

You think ignoring everything that’s just transpired in the last minute is probably for the best.

“I’m about to be really annoying, then,” you quip – and then you begin to quote line after line.

It’s one of his biggest pet peeves, and he knows you’re doing it on purpose. You continue, waiting for him to break. It doesn’t take very long.

"Oh my god. Shut up." You can hear the smile in his voice, and you know you aren’t annoying him that much.

"Make me," you shoot back without thinking, your heart stopping as you quickly remember where those two words had gotten you just a couple of hours before. You think Vernon is holding his breath, too, and you resist the urge to shrink even further back into his couch. Don’t make it weird, it’s fine, you’re just joking, don’t make it –

Vernon’s hand is on your face before you can finish your thought, tilting your chin up towards him – and then he’s kissing you.

When he pulls back, it takes a second for your eyes to flutter open again. And when they do, he’s already looking back at you, unwavering. His thumb brushes against your chin before he smirks and says, eyebrows raised, "I told you I would, bro.”

Your mouth is agape as he drops his hand and turns back to the movie. You feel a bit like your entire brain is resetting as you process what just happened.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“I’ve been trying to do that for like, three years now, so… yeah.”

“You kissed me.”

Vernon looks at you again now, and you absolutely cannot understand how he’s so calm about all of this. Smiling about it, even. “I did. Thoughts?”

Your friend is stoic at the best of times, but his eyes always give him away. When he doesn’t break your gaze, when he just waits while you process, you can see it in the way he’s looking at you — that even if he seems calm on the outside, he’s nervous. Nervous that you’re going to reject him, nervous that he may have overstepped, nervous that you don’t like him back. As if that would even be possible. “I think,” you say slowly, “that the movie can wait a little longer if you wanted to kiss me some more… bro.”

@wheeboo @tae-bebe @waldau @eoieopda @gyuminusone @minisugakoobies @lvlystars @seohomrwolf @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @christinewithluv @wqnwoos @iluvseokmin

#vernon x reader #vernon fluff #seventeen imagine #seventeen imagines #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #svt x you #vernon x you #chsfic #my writing #bookyeom700 #seventeen fluff #chs x reader

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muwapsturniolo · 2 days

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✯𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝✯

chris x black earthy/boho!reader

IN WHICH…Y/n finds a peace of mind with her lover, and his two brothers.

WARNINGS: nothing besides smoking.

5 a.m.

It was 5 a.m on a Sunday and Y/n couldn't sleep, her mind racing intangible thoughts. With a sigh she carefully sits up, attempting to not wake up her sleeping boyfriend. She successfully does so and begins moving around the room, gathering the items she would need.

She exits the room once she gathers everything, and walks down the hallway, peaking into the guest room to check on Nick and Matt. They decided to come over with Chris and ended up spending the night. She didn't have a problem with it, always hating being alone.

She found their company relieving.

Seeing that the two are still sound asleep, she continues her trek through the big house. She arrives in the kitchen where she grabs a bottle of kombucha out of the fridge, making her way outside barefoot.

She shudders as the crisp california air nips at her skin, not use to the cold that comes in the early morning, and leaves before it even hits 12 p.m. She takes a seat on her poolside couch and sets up her camera, pressing record before rolling up.

"It's currently 5 a.m. and I couldn't sleep, so I decided to come outside and journal while the sun rises." She speaks to the camera softly, her eyes trained on the grinded-up plant in front of her. "The boys spent the night and are currently still sleeping. It was nice having them over, not having to be alone." She lights the joint and inhales the smoke, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling.

"I'm not sure why I hate being alone so much, I think it's because I came from a big family and I'm not used to quiet...Granted it's never quiet considering my thoughts are always loud but I digress." She stops talking and flips open to an empty page, starting to write all of her thoughts and feelings down. She leaves the camera rolling, figuring she would just make it a time-lapse with some copyright-free neo-soul music playing over it.

She wasn't a typical YouTuber, never doing big fancy things and showing off. She was a more peaceful and serene one, her videos consisting of her lifestyle and talking about her feelings.

Her videos that have done well so far are her lifestyle vlogs, the main points being her smoking, painting, cooking, and shopping for crystals. It seems as if the viewers also love her monthly vinyl reviews, finding the way she expressed her love for music interesting.

That's how Chris found her.

He was looking for a YouTube video to watch before bed and he saw a thumbnail of hers. She was smoking in the thumbnail, a wall of vinyl's behind her as the title read, "fav vinyls this month".

He won't lie, he clicked on it because she was pretty, but he stayed for her personality and the raw emotions she expressed as she talked about the Fugees.

To say the least he went down a rabbit hole and watched all her videos that night, adding some of her favorite songs to a playlist.

Speaking of the boy...

She turned around hearing the patio door open, a soft smile gracing her face seeing her half-asleep boyfriend making his way towards her. "Why the hell are you up so early? And why did you leave me?" He questions plopping down next to her. "Couldn't sleep and I didn't want to bother you with my tossing and turning...Why are you up so early?"

"You know I can't sleep without you." He fixes her legs so he can lay in between them, sighing out as his head meets her soft and plush thighs. She smiles softly and runs her nails along his scalp, caressing his face at the same time. "What were you thinking about?" He mumbles when he notices the journal and pen.

She shrugs, "I'm not sure... My mind was just loud." He opens his eyes and looks up at her in worry. She notices and shakes her head, "Nothing bad, don't worry baby." He nods and relaxes back against her body.

The two lay on the couch in comfortable silence as they experience the twilight, listening to the birds chirp as they awaken from their peaceful slumber. The pool rumbles softly as it begins to clean itself, the water rippling due to the vibrations.

"This is nice," she looks down hearing Chris's groggy voice. "Hm?''

"I said this is nice... Laying here and watching the sunrise with you, not having to worry about what the day brings." She hums in agreement and watches as the skies turn from dark blue to hues of pink, purple, and orange.

The sunrise reflects off of the rippling water of the pool, casting a warm glow on the two bodies. Y/n tilts her head back as she basks in the warm rays. It seems as if her thoughts finally quieted down, giving her a chance to be calm.

Chris stares at his girlfriend, his heart swelling in admiration seeing her in her natural habitat. He truly believed she wasn't meant to be in LA. She was meant to be somewhere that had a bunch of greenery, somewhere that had a waterfall right under the sun so she could bask in it like a cat. Somewhere where she could be free and at peace.

"I can feel you staring at me," she looks down at Chris whose face has a hue of red. "Just admiring you. I can't admire my girlfriend now?" She giggles and motions for him to sit up. She pulls him into a soft kiss, enjoying the warmth of his lips.

"It's six thirty and you two are already being gross." The couple pulls away and looks at a half-awake Nick, and a sluggish Matt. The two make their way over and sit on the ground in front of the couch. "Shut up, I was enjoying time alone with my girlfriend since you two decided to crash last night." Y/n watches as Chris and Nick go back and forth, their banter not making sense since they are both still tired.

"Can both of you shut the hell up? It's early and you two are bitching for no reason." Matt grunts. Chris huffs before settling back down against Y/n, burying his face in her stomach. He kisses the brown skin before fiddling with her waist beads.

The quad dives into a conversation, not talking about anything important per say but just talking. They soon fall into silence, enjoying the peace before they have to go back to their busy lives. Not long after, Y/n's brown cat Janelle, joins them causing Matt to gasp in excitement.

As he plays with her, Y/n rolls another blunt. "I wish I could do this every day. Your house just makes me feel at home." Nick breathes out.

"That's funny considering I only find it to be homey when you guys are here." She grabs her lighter and sparks the pink wrap, inhaling it before handing it to Chris. She watches as the smoke cascades in the sun, creating shapes of different sizes.

"Wouldn't it be crazy if we all just lived with each other?" Matt voices, his tone light as he plays with the cat.

"I wouldn't be opposed to it...We are always with each other anyway." Nick adds.

"I would like that honestly," Chris eyes Y/n as she speaks, his heart racing at her words. He knows it's too soon, the two of them have only been with each other for 7 months. However he knows she's the one, his family loves her, his friends love her, he loves her. She came into his life and watered him like a plant, helping him bloom into something more.

"Fuck it, let's do it!" Everyone turns to Chris in surprise.

"Huh?"

Chris sits up and turns his body towards Y/n, "Let's move in with each other...I mean you hate living alone and we are always over anyway. Let's move in with each other."

"Are you sure Chris?" Y/n wants to scream and dance in excitement at the thought of her best friends and boyfriend living with her, but the sensible part of her isn't sure. Granted they have been friends for a year but she and Chris have only been dating for 7 months. "Yeah, I don't have a problem living with you, I think it would be great... I want this relationship to go somewhere...I think you're the one for me."

Y/n feels her eyes burning as the salty tears form, slowly descending down her face. Chris chuckles and pulls the girl into him, holding her tightly.

They all sit in silence, letting Y/n get her emotions out.

After a few minutes, Y/n sniffles and pulls away from Chris.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"I'm in... I want you guys to move in with m-" Before she can finish her last word, she's dogpiled by the three boys, all of them laughing and shouting in excitment.

"Yes! This is so exciting! I'm going to love having a fully decorated house!"

"I get to see Janelle every day!"

"And I get to love on you every day!" Chris pulls her into a deep kiss, ignoring the groans of Nick and Matt.

The two brothers stand up and walk back into the house, leaving the couple alone once again.

They pull away from the kiss, their foreheads touching as they look each other in the eyes, both of their bodies full of love and tranquility.

"I love you," Chris whispers, his voice holding nothing but affection.

"I love you too"

The two lean in once again, their lips touching softly and tenderly.

The sun shines directly in front of them, the camera only able to see the silhouettes of the lovers.

i was in a fluffly mood so i hope yall like it💕

TAGLIST 🍑

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thenightling · 2 days

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Dead boy Detectives review

I've watched all eight episodes of Dead Boy Detectives and it was a decent show. It's not something I may obsess over like The Sandman, or The Witcher, but it was decent.

Dead Boy Detectives is the story of Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland. Edwin was killed during a Satanic ritual in 1916. Charles died from hypothermia and internal bleeding after some bullies drove him into an ice-cold lake while throwing rocks at him.

(Note: That was not how Charles actually died in the source material. In the comics, Lucifer had quit and shut down Hell (the basis for the TV show Lucifer) so many evil souls returned to Earth, including the boys that sacrificed poor Edwin. They badly burnt Charles' back on a hot stove and Charles died from his injuries.)

The two ghosts decided to dedicate their afterlife solving mysteries to help other ghosts find peace. They are aided by psychic, Crystal Palace, who is haunted by her abusive ex-boyfriend who happens to be a demon.

Both Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland originated in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman: Season of Mists, The Sandman: Volume 4. Issue 25 of The Sandman comics, and within Act 2 of The Sandman audio drama.

The Dead Boy Detectives made their TV first appearance in Doom Patrol for HBO Max (now Max). During a shakeup at Max the show was moved over to Netflix as to better connect it with The Sandman since that is where they originated.

The show features different actors from the ones that played Charles and Edwin on Doom Patrol.

The Dead Boy Detectives is a decent show but ...it feels a bit like a CW teen drama. I had been told that some of the show's writers were originally writers for the CW... and it shows.

There are some deliberately surreal elements of the show that I think are a callback to their appearance in Doom Patrol.

I love the variety of supernatural entities in the show, including the appearance of two of Morpheus's siblings. Death and Despair. The things I don't like about the show can be considered CW tropes or cliches. The angsty romances and unrequited love. The ham-fisted abusive ex metaphor between Crystal and David The Demon.

And of course the most tedious of CW tropes, the end of the episode pining and angst while a sad pop song plays in the background.

If you look past the CW-ness of it, the show is enjoyable.

The only other things I can complain about is the "connecting thread" subplot of The Afterlife: Lost and Found feels like unnecessary filler. And I wish they would openly establish that Edwin, being an innocent, would NOT return to Hell if collected by Death now. I don't think that should be left hanging over his head. Especially since we're supposed to see Death as a kind entity. Also I think Charles says "Aces" a little too much. It's very distracting and makes me feel like the writers didn't know much late 80s English slang. It would be like if he was an American and they had him say "Radical" all the time. I get that it's kind of his catchphrase but it also got a bit annoying.

The parts I don't like are CW tropes and what I'd consider to be late 90s Vertigo edginess.

The thing I liked were plentiful though. The protagonists were and are likable. The ending is satisfying enough so that if there is only one season this was still good. I liked that it appears that one can ascend out of Hell after some self-reflection as is indicated by the boy Edwin confronted in Hell. The blue light was established to mean ascension, a good afterlife.

I also LOVE the opening credits theme music and animated sequence. It reminds me of the intro to Showtime's Creature Feature movies. (See the trailer for 2001's She Creature, not the 50s version. Watch the trailer at thirteen seconds in, on Youtube, and you'll see what I mean).

That's two Gothic themed shows from Netflix in the last two years with great opening credits sequences. The first being Wednesday. That one won Danny Elfman an Emmy.

It's funny, Wednesday and Dead Boy Detectives (which is a spin-off of The Sandman) have great opening credit intro sequences but The Sandman does not. Apparently Neil Gaiman was told people don't watch the opening credits anymore so The Sandman doesn't have them.

I feel we were cheated out of what could have been a great opening sequence for The Sandman.

Episodes 7 and 8 of Dead Boy Detectives were probably the best of the series. I liked it well enough that if Dead Boy Detectives gets renewed I'll happily watch season 2.

#Dead Boy Detectives #The Dead Boy Detectives #The Sandman #Sandman

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luciddownloading · 1 day

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Tarot Reading (Pick A Card): What Are Their Current Intentions? 💌

Hey, everyone. I am back for another Tarot reading today. I took some time away from this blog and doing readings because I needed to self-care, to reflect and regroup. But, now I'm back! So, let's get into it.

Today, we are going to be looking at your person's current intentions. Meaning what do they want out of this connection, what do they want to give you and what actions do they plan on taking. Remember that energy can always change. I will give it to you honest, per usual, but try not to either get too frustrated by a reading or overly idealize a situation because of a reading you receive, either. My motto for love readings is "don't stress, don't obsess".

Also, on Patreon, I will be doing an extended reading where we will see what will happen the next time you see your person. So, if you're interested in joining me over there, the link to the extended will be at the end of each pile's reading.

I am also not taking reversals because I tried to earlier and the energy just felt very off. I feel like I have just gotten into such a groove of not taking them that I am probably just not meant to for awhile.

Anyway, choose the image or images below that you are most drawn to. The theme for today: birds. Why? Because a little birdie is going to tell me what your person's intentions are. Lol idk. Sometimes, I just choose what's most aesthetically pleasing to me in the moment.

As always, trust your intuition. It will tell you if you have chosen the right pile or if there are messages here for you. 💚

PILE 1

PILE 2

PILE 3

PILE 4

PILE 1

Knight of Cups

(clarified by: Seven of Swords)

Judgement

(clarified by: The Star)

Three of Pentacles

(clarified by: The Tower)

Queen of Pentacles (back of the deck)

Pile 1, I have the feeling that your person has some explaining to do! I think, in the past, they played around on you quite a bit. This could have been a situationship that never went anywhere, an unfulfilling relationship or even some kind of unrequited love situation. Regardless, there was some sort of major ending. A fall out. A bridge burned, even, for some of you. And I actually think it was good for you. Even though it was painful, ending things with this person was very empowering for you. I am getting that phrase "may the bridges I burn light my way". You kind of feel like you're in unbothered mode, moving on, while this person is still very much hurting over this.

So, what are their current intentions? Well, they want you back. I say that because I am hearing the Nsync song I Want You Back. But, I get the feeling from you that this is vaguely amusing or even hilarious and ridiculous. Even though they are planning on making this romantic gesture, I don't know how successful it will be and they don't either. I guess we will see in the extended! But, the thing I am feeling is that they really did something to disrespect you or take you for granted. They may have even lied in some way. At the very least, they hurt you unnecessarily and it's no one's fault but theirs. You know that and, if it's any comfort, they know it, too.

Tbh, I am definitely getting "third party" energy here. And I feel like this went one of two ways. They may have chose someone else over you and this person turned out to, honestly, be a total nightmare. The connection definitely feels karmic and in that very painful way that karmic relationships can be. They may not have realized what they were signing up for with this person til they were in it. Also, maybe this person isn't overly toxic but the situation is just very unstable. One of the reasons why is... you. Which is funny because you kind of have the energy of the "now why am I in it?" meme. You aren't in this relationship and you aren't pursuing this person. But, this karmic knows how much your person loves you, maybe through suspicion or an intuitive sense. They know they can't compare and it's something that makes them very insecure.

I see you as this Queen of Pentacles to your person. Regardless of your gender, you are a very feminine being who has a stabilizing, nurturing effect on them. In fact, this might become a bit of an issue because they could project their mother complex on to you, sometimes. It's easy for you to fall into that but I think you have been working on it. You have been learning to put yourself and your needs first. You could have birth chart placements in Earth: Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn. As caring and sensitive as you are, you are also very sensible. And that level head has allowed you to set very firm boundaries now with this person.

But, I will say that you don't have to necessarily burn a bridge with this person. And if you have, you can rebuild it. You can be firm and strong yet still kind. There is hope for this connection but it's also up to you and your free will. This person used their free will to choose someone else. So, you can use your free will to choose yourself, if you want. It's funny because I am not getting a lot about THEIR intentions because, in the end, your Guides want you to remember that this is up to you. Even though you feel a powerful connection with this person, even though they want you back, you get to choose what path you want.

I also get the feeling that this person is far from ready. They are trying to get ready. And maybe you don't want to wait around for that. But, they are going through some massive changes and that is destined, whether you end up together or not. You were the catalyst for that. But, they are a little too focused on getting you back, as if you are this goal or prize. And to quote the legendary Princess Jasmine, you are not a prize to be won! It may be especially messy because they might still be with this third party. BUT, I don't think they will come forward to you with this romantic offer until it's done. It may end in a very dramatic fashion, though. Actually, I think it most likely will end that way lol.

They still have a lot to learn. They are this Knight of Cups. They want to be emotionally available to you but they are still not quite mature enough yet. They could definitely have Water placements in their chart: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Scorpio, most likely, is coming through strongly. (They could also have Aquarius energy or you could) They are highly secretive in a lot of ways and the biggest thing they need to work on is honest, open communication without fear of vulnerability. They are not there yet but they're working in it. When they finally come forward, it will lead to a revelation of their true feelings toward you. But, it's going to take a lot of effort from them.

What will happen the next time you see this person? Join me on Patreon in the extended reading to find out

EXTENDED READING FOR PILE 1

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PILE 2

The Hierophant

(clarified by: The Empress)

Five of Swords

(clarified by: Knight of Wands)

Five of Wands

(clarified by: The Lovers)

Two of Wands (back of the deck)

Pile 2, your person is feeling this very restless desire to move toward you. This is something that seems to be affecting everything they do. It's like no matter what they do, their attention drifts back to you. But, not really in a daydreamy sort of way. More so in the sense that this person wants to take action toward you and move out of the current place they're in. For some of you, they may actually be thinking about moving to where you are, as this could be long distance. That's how serious they are about you.

That may be pretty shocking to you. I say that because a) this feels like a situation that's in separation and that you haven't spoken to this person in a long time and b) they've never been the serious type before. I see them as this Knight of Wands figure. They could have Aries, Leo or Sagittarius placements in their chart. They are very fiery and more on the masculine side. They were either a major player when you were in their life or they were rather insensitive and self-centered. Somehow, they really hurt you. Maybe treated you like an option, maybe were very reckless with your feelings. They could have even just rejected you or not given you the time of day because they were too busy chasing after other people. This person is very attractive and charismatic and is used to love interests flocking to them. But, in the midst of all that, they failed to appreciate the one who mattered most: you.

I said all of that because I do think this person is constantly thinking back to that period when you were in their life and evaluating their mistakes. I'm hearing, "I was such an asshole". Well, I won't argue there lol. I also think that, at one point, they had a choice between you and someone else. Or something else. Maybe not necessarily a person but a lifestyle or something. Maybe they chose their immaturity and BS over you. Regardless, you walked away from them once it proved to be too much. And I think they are striving very hard to learn from these past mistakes.

There is a lot of fear they harbor over you moving on and finding someone else. Maybe you already have and they know that via word of mouth or social media. Regardless, they want to be better than your other options. Because, let's be real, YOU have plenty of options to choose from and I think this person either forgot that or didn't fully realize that. On some level, they were convinced that they were the prize. Well, I think you've effectively flipped that script on them. Because they are seeing you as The Empress: a very feminine individual who is absolutely gorgeous, from the inside out, and high-value. (You may have Taurus or Libra placements, especially Taurus). They are feeling super-attracted to you and I get the sense that you are deliberating leaning more into your Empress power and they can energetically sense that. And it's making you wildly magnetic to this person, more than ever.

Their intentions are basically to cuff you, to lock you down into a commitment. But, of course, whether or not you say yes to this is up to you. I feel like you actually wanted a real commitment with them at one point and made yourself available and they either rejected you or took you for granted or both. But, now, it's like they are on the same page now that you were then. Does that matter to you now, though? The song Too Little Too Late by Jojo is coming through. Listen to the lyrics. This may either be how you feel or what they fear you're going to tell them. However, I don't think they are willing to give this up without a fight. And they are very intent on showing you how much they want this and how much they will fight for it. How you respond is up to you.

I do think this is a very significant connection and, at one point, you saw this person as "the one". They are definitely a soulmate of some kind. Possibly even that label that rhymes with "schwin schlame", if you ascribe to that. But, just remember that these types of connections do not necessarily have to end up in union. This is more of guidance for you. Trust whatever your heart is telling you, in regards to this situation, and don't be overly attached to an outcome or a preconceived notion of your future with this person.

What will happen the next time you see this person? Join me on Patreon in the extended reading to find out

EXTENDED READING FOR PILE 2

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PILE 3

Six of Cups

(clarified by: Two of Wands)

The Lovers

(clarified by: Queen of Pentacles)

Three of Cups

(clarified by: Ace of Swords)

King of Wands (back of the deck)

Pile 3, the energy here is so interesting. First of all, I wouldn't be surprised if you were also drawn to Pile 1. But, only check it out if you were truly drawn to it. This is another energy, though. A different person from that pile. It's a new person that you either haven't met yet or you have just recently met. If you haven't met them yet, you will very soon and I also feel as if you FEEL them already. Maybe you're having dreams about them or getting signs or confirmations. Either way, this is definitely someone a part of your soul family. You have had past lives with them and they're a soulmate. Like, a high level soulmate. They are this King of Wands figure: a very masculine individual who has healthy confidence, mature strength and is a leader. They likely have placements in Fire: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius.

Keep in mind that readings can be futuristic, on occasion, or tell us how a connection will play out in the near future. So, if you haven't met this person yet, they will feel this way about you soon after. Maybe they already do, to some extent, because they already have their eye on you or just sense you subconsciously. But, if you have recently met them, this is how they are feeling now and what their intentions are now. If neither of this situations apply, this may not be your pile. Because I am getting this new and fresh kind of energy from them. It doesn't feel like anyone from the past.

Anyway, with that in mind, their intentions are pretty simple. Powerful but simple. They just want you to be with them. This is someone who knows what they want. I say that because two songs came through just now: I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys and I Wanna Get To Know You by G Unit. So, yeah, very straightforward! Lol and that will be the refreshing thing about this person. They will be that healthy masculine counterpart who knows how to go after what they want and put in effort consistently. And I get the feeling that most of you are not used to such behavior from the masculines you've been with in the past.

The Queen of Pentacles also came up in Pile 1. And this is you, regardless of if you're male or female. You are a very feminine being who has a very grounded, comforting, and abundant energy. You could have personal placements in Earth: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn. They see you in this way. They see your beauty and your value. However, they aren't just going to think this or say this. They want to SHOW you how much they value you. They want you to feel chosen and appreciated. They intend to show you that you're their top priority.

It's like they have always known you existed and always knew you were out there. Like their heart was holding out for someone like you, throughout all their disappointing romantic experiences, and that belief in love kept them going. For a select number of you, this is someone you knew while growing up or in high school or college who you are reconnecting with. And maybe you didn't see each other in a romantic light then but you can see it now. Kind of like Simba and Nala in The Lion King. Something about lions or Africa could be significant. One or both of you could have Leo energy or be of African descent. I am also getting that this could have been a friend or a sibling in a past life that you're coming together with romantically in this life. Don't let the latter possibility freak you out. Relationships can shift like that on the soul's journey.

Also, this person is a lot of fun. They may see you as a blast, too, and want to be very social with you. I can really see you on their arm at social events. This person is very attractive, very charming and they have lots of admirers, platonically and romantically. And they are going to want to show you off because they see you as an equal match. I also think they know that people will love you and will find you as funny and smart and fascinating as they do. You will meet a lot of new people through this individual.

In my reading in Your Future Romantic Partner, there was a pile about you being with someone in the public eye, in some capacity. If you picked that pile, this is probably that person. They really have that it factor! And, in terms of their relationship with you, they really want to be the best partner they can be for you. This will be a very harmonious and fulfilling union, if you choose it. That doesn't mean it will be perfect or that they're perfect, though. And things going so well may trigger your "flight response" because you're so used to being let down. You're not used to being appreciated this much and treated this well. But, you deserve it! So, don't run from it. If those fears or insecurities rise up, just deal with them and let them go. You don't want to miss out in something great just because it's foreign territory. (Speaking of which, they also may be of a different nationality than you or live in another country and have a different accent than you)

What will happen the next time you see this person? Join me on Patreon in the extended reading to find out

EXTENDED READING FOR PILE 3

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PILE 4

Ten of Wands

(clarified by: Nine of Pentacles)

Nine of Wands

(clarified by: Ace of Swords)

Five of Cups

(clarified by: Judgement)

Eight of Pentacles (back of the deck)

Pile 4, it feels like your person is hanging on by a thread. They are going through a highly stressful time and it feels like much of this stressed is self-induced. They have been putting way too much on their plate and they are reaching a point of burnout. This is someone who is a hard worker, to the point of being a workaholic, and they are learning that they can't just bury themselves in work to avoid their problems. Because, you know, that only makes your problems worse. And I think they have done this in order to avoid thinking about you, even though they have strong feelings for you.

Something happened here that made you guys fall out of touch. Maybe you had a falling out or you just lost touch. I feel like there was some sort of big misunderstanding that caused this or there was a sense that things that were left unsaid. It's really interesting because the energy here is kind of... vague. I think this is maybe someone who never expressed their feelings or romantic interest to you whatsoever. And for a long time, you had no idea that they felt that way toward you. Maybe until you chose this pile lol. Or probably sometime recently. You might have learned it from another Tarot reading or just a sudden epiphany/download. Take it as it resonates. But, when I am doing these readings, I usually get a sense of the "story" involved. Here, it doesn't feel like that because I think you spent a lot of time very unaware of this person's feelings for you and how that was driving their actions and decisions.

So, yeah, this definitely feels like a former friend or co-worker who was a secret admirer. For most of you, they're not in your life anymore. And if they are, you are at a distance and not really communicating. But, either way, they really want that line of communication to open again. And they also have this strong desire to be with you. Or, at least, to confess their feelings to you. It is this burden that is weighing on them very heavily. That is actually a part of their stress. They aren't able to get those feelings off their chest and that's very burdensome. They are looking at you as the Nine of Pentacles, so you may have Earth placements (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) in your chart. (A very Earthy reading today) They are kind of putting you on a pedestal and idealizing you as this really beautiful, really valuable being that they want but can't have.

Something about pursuing you would have been "wrong", in their mind. For many of you, this is someone who is married or in a serious relationship. It also could have been a co-worker or someone at your job who didn't want to cross professional lines with you. But, whatever the case, they really regret not going for it. If they're with someone else, I don't think it's a happy situation. In fact, I think it's very codependent and a public show of happiness instead of something genuine. They definitely could be one of those couples who are always posting pics together on Instagram but are actually disconnected and miserable together in real life. But, it's all a part of this image of a perfectly successful life this person has always strived for. And they are starting to see how hollow that can be.

So, I am not getting a lot about intentions toward you. Like, yes, they want you but they are not ready to do anything any time soon. They have a lot they need to release to do so. I think this person will undergo some massive shifts in the near future, whether that's totally changing careers or leaving their current partner. They are in resistance mode still, though, too afraid of change. I am hearing Let It Happen by Tame Impala. They need to just let go and stop trying to control everything in their life. They have all these preconceived notions about the life that they "should" be leading and that has always hele them back.

They are also thinking frequently about you because they admire how you live your life. While they seem like the codependent type in relationships, you are much more independent. You also don't care much about others' approval in the way that they do. They would love some of that to rub off on them. Even though they want to be with you, a part of them also wants to be you. Like I said, the energy here is very different. I can't even gauge much about how you feel about them because I just don't think this is something at the forefront of your mind. But, maybe it will take you by surprise. Sometimes, great connections can happen out of the blue with the people we least expect.

What will happen the next time you see this person? Join me on Patreon in the extended reading to find out

EXTENDED READING FOR PILE 4

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Thanks for stopping by! You can check out my other readings and posts here:

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#tarot #tarot reading #channeled message #astrology observations #channeled song #tarot love reading #twin flame reading #twin flame #divine counterpart #pick a pile reading #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a pile #soulmate reading

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yandere-romanticaa · 1 day

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I've had a very fun and fruitful conversation with @allfearstofallto and she had some very strong reactions for a story about yandere Diluc and Tartaglia that has been marinating in my mind for a while now. I'll just give you a brief version of my idea.

You and the 11th Fatui Harbinger are to be wed. With your freedom stripped away from you and with your wedding date fast approaching, you are working tirelessly to escape the Harbinger's grasp.

However, even with your freedom stripped away, even if you have no autonomy on your own, there's an inkling in your heart in which you cannot hate your captor. He is far too kind and gentle towards you, the way in which he treats you makes your heart swell with a plethora of emotions.

But enough is enough.

You need to leave. Fast.

One evening, you act sweeter, more submissive than usual. Your fiancee eats it up and is delighted by this change in attitude. His happiness is evident because now things can proceed without a hitch. Don't worry darling, you won't be anywhere near his work. He'll keep you safe, fed and loved.

All he asks in return is to be in your heart. Love him. Love him, please. It's a hard request, a selfish one even, he knows this.

He can make it up to you. He can and he will.

He promises.

You kiss him in bed, telling him that you understand. Your eyes shift towards the hidden suitcase in the corner as you feel the drugs start to kick in. Tartaglia is fast asleep, and you finally taste the sweetness of freedom.

The man wakes up the next morning in a daze. The bed is empty and cold.

His heart shatters into a million pieces. He roars out your name like a wounded animal, his throat sore and bleeding from the pain.

He must find you.

Meanwhile, you made your way towards the City of Freedom.

You settle in, find a job, a place to live in. It's hard but you manage.

You ignore the lingering presence that you feel behind you when you're alone at night. You're making it all up, you keep telling yourself.

No one is following you.

One evening, you enter a cozy tavern. You order a drink and it is prepared by a handsome, albeit stoic bartender. You manage to get him to open up. He introduces himself as Diluc, the owner of the fine establishment in which you sat in.

How neat.

Due to various different factors, after a short while Diluc takes you in. He is patient and strict. It's an improvement.

You don't know about his ever growing obsession with you. You don't know about the endless sea of portraits he has of you. He keeps it all hidden well under wraps.

Regardless, Diluc is still only human. It's only natural that his jealousy would bubble up and rear in its ugly head from time to time.

Dawn Winery is in a way, forced to attend a massive social gathering. Diplomats from the North are everywhere and, of course, Tartaglia spots you in the crowd.

Even if his eyes were to be plucked out, he would always manage to recognize you.

Tensions rise and the danger of bloodlust reeks in the air. Much to his chagrin, Childe cannot simply just kill Diluc and be done with it.

He is being forced to play Mr Nice Diplomat.

Oh the horror, being stuck between these two.

Now, since this has the potential to be long as fuck, I was thinking of making it into a multiple part story. The best name I could come up with it so far was "A Song of Ice and Fire". I'm open to title names, if someone has better ideas. An important note to add would be that this would be a serious commitment for me as I haven't done a story like this in years. Chapter updates would probably take me a long time due to my job and potential lack of energy, but this idea has been in my brain for years now, which is a clear sign that I'm passionate about it. And, my question is - would you like for me to make this story come to life?

#yandere childe #yandere tartaglia #yandere diluc #genshin impact #♥️ girlie says

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rooksamoris · 1 day

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💞 — 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐒.

💞 — in which jamil realizes that no matter how hard he avoid the oasis, the thirst will not disappear till it is quenched.

💞 — jamil viper x reader

💞 — warnings: hurt/comfort type fic. some descriptions of gore to emphasize yearning (the arabs be dramatic, what can i say)

💞 — 1.7k words. inspired by "sawwah" the song by abdel halim hafez. you should listen to it while reading tbh. first in a series of me assigning old school arabic songs to various characters. and yes, arabic speaking jamil is back. the translations are italicized with the arabic, and i changed some lyrics to fit third person, instead of first.

Wa ana mashi fil bilad, sawwah.

And I walk through countries, a vagabond.

Jamil had a job. He was bound to eternal servitude to the Al-Asim family—practically property to Bait (house/clan) Al-Asim. He had a job, and yet he spent his nights away in his mind, wandering like a vagabond. Purposeless, jobless.

All those nights toiling in the kitchen of Scarabia made him forget purpose and work were different things. He would never call working for that spoiled boy his purpose. He was made for more—to be praised, to rule and command. He deserved more. Jamil deserved more than having to push away his moon, his qamar (moon).

You were like an oasis in the desert expanse that he called his mind, and yet he walked away from you. He walked away when he desperately needed a sip. When he desperately needed rest and dates from your palm.

“Qad jinint? (Have you become crazed?) I have too many things to deal with. And you’d be better off without the burden of my title. Imshi (Go on/walk off).”

Jamil saw it. He saw the way your expression faltered, the softest twitch in your brow, the smallest tremble of your lips. It was cruel, he knew it, and it hurt him to say it. But in the end, he knew there was nothing else he could say. There must have been a better way to delicately reject your confessions, and yet he took the harshest route. Jamil plucked the dates from your palm and trampled over them.

He hurt himself by doing so, denying himself the one thing he desperately wanted. In the end, it was simple. Mishwar baeed, wa hu gareeh. His life was a long journey that only injured him. He did not want it to injure you as well.

Still, his charcoal eyes would seek you out. He would still ask Kalim about you, wanting to know how the distance was affecting you. Did you become a vagabond as he did? Were you avoiding oases?

Did you ask about the brown-skinned boy who broke your heart? He just wanted to be reassured—tamainu (reassure him)—that his qamar was doing alright. Wa in la’akum habibi, salamuli alai, he wanted to tell Kalim. If you see my love, wish them peace from me.

He would never ask you himself, nor did he get the chance to since you would scurry off whenever he passed by. The one place he could not avoid you was the kitchen of Scarabia, his domain, during one of Kalim’s parties. You were hiding away from the madness, and he had been trying to hide away from you. It was the same spot in which you cooked with him, listened to him, and were eventually rejected by him.

Jamil froze after walking in, and you turned your head up from your phone once you saw him, “I’m sorry,” you said, pushing yourself off of the counter and heading for the other door. You could not face him, not after that rejection. Not after he told you that your feelings were that of a crazed djinni (genie/jinn).

He shook his head and walked to the stove top, turning it on, “Stay. I’ll make chai,” he muttered. He did not even look at you.

You still wanted to leave, but instead, you just nodded. Honestly, you were a fool for the man, for that long dark brown hair which he braided so perfectly, and his aquiline nose which you desperately wanted to trace your finger along, “I don’t want to trouble you—”

“It’s no trouble. It gives me an excuse to get away from Kalim.”

You swallowed and nodded.

The silence was horrifically uncomfortable. The only sounds in the kitchen were the boiling water in the kettle and the sound that the mortar and pestle made while Jamil began to grind the herbs for the tea. Chai, cloves, cardamom—he added cinnamon this time. The scent always made everything more cozy.

Ya qamar, ya nasini. Oh moon who forgets me. Jamil hoped you would have gotten over your feelings for him and forgotten about the rejection, but he could tell it stung. The way you looked around the kitchen proved that enough. He poured the evaporated milk into the tea, let it simmer with the racing of his heart, and then poured both of you cups. He was gentle as he set your cup in front of you, unlike the savagery that he handled your heart with.

Jamil leaned against the island, his eyes trailing over your face, “Are you—”

“I’m fine,” you blurted, holding the cup of tea. Waseitak, waseiya, ya shahid aleiya, “I promised you—you heard. You saw,” you elaborated, “I’m fine.” Tekilu ala beiyak. You could have told him of the state you were in after the rejection, but you opted for lies veiled by a fake grin.

He understood. He did not let you see past his veil either, “I see.”

“The tea is great.”

“Thanks.”

There it was, another uncomfortable silence. His eyes said it all, though. Had you looked close enough, you would have seen how they ached to sacrifice themselves for you. He wished his worries for you would leave him alone—he would have gouged his eyes out just to make the aching in his heart disappear. It was curling in on itself, threatening to burst with the violence of a desert storm, sand filled his lungs, suffocating him. The weeks felt like years, and he was just a nomad in the night.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he set his cup down.

You immediately frowned and put your teacup down as well, scared you would drop in, “You don’t get to say that now,” you mumbled.

Jamil nodded in agreement. It was cruel, rejecting you so harshly just to turn around and claim he did not mean any of it. Especially when he still did find you crazy for loving him as ardently as you claimed, “It’s wrong. I know,” he said, looking away from you and to the door where all the commotion was. The music was muffled by the shut doors, making the kitchen feel like an entirely different building, “But I… I feel the same.”

That was another lie. He did not just feel the same, Jamil longed for you. He yearned, his heart ached and his veins begged to be torn out for your sake. Every cell in his body called for your name, his hands begged to grasp your waist, kiss your neck—his hands which artfully painted henna, wished they could trace every curve and every dip on your body.

“Jamil…” you trailed off.

He merely shook his head, “It is because I feel the same that I must reject you. You—you have so much more waiting in your life without me. My suffering should not be yours,” he said, and he said it as if it were the law of the universe. He was a vagabond eternally bound to avoid the oases because the oases were not meant for him. They were meant for Kalim Al-Asim.

Despite all that, he did not push you away when you cupped his face. He did not protest as he drowned. He did not thrash, he did not fight. His body did as it wished, leaning into your hands, “Ya qamar… you are making this more difficult than it needs to be,” he muttered, the disdain dying before it could embrace the quiet air of the kitchen.

You frowned at him—sevens, he wanted to kiss that mouth of yours—and your brows furrowed, “Let me, Jamil. Just let me,” you said. What did you want him to let you do? You had no clue, or perhaps it was just too broad to describe.

Nawarli, wararili, seitak al-habayeb.

Enlighten and show me the path to the beloveds.

He was so weak when it came to you. Before he knew it, his hands were at the small of your back, pulling you closer and forcing you to arch against him as his lips met yours in a fierce kiss. He sighed into your mouth, his tongue slipping in when you gasped in surprise.

Jamil needed you even closer. His hands made their way down to your hips, his thumbs slipping under the hem of your shirt to feel your skin. It was just as nice as he dreamed it would be. What made it all the better was how you kissed him back.

One of your hands gripped his shirt, right at his chest, right above his cruel racing heart, and the other held the back of his head. The quietest of whimpers escaped you as he bit your bottom lip, causing him to groan.

He pressed you against the counter, causing your hand to slip from his chest and move to hold onto the surface behind you. You kissed him till you could not breathe, “Ja—Jamil,” you stammered when your lips parted from his.

Greedily, he went in and kissed you some more. Jamil had taken a sip, and now he wanted it all. He only pulled away when your hands pressed against his chest to push him away. His eyes widened and his hands fell back to his sides. He pulled the hood down to hide his face from you as he turned his head, “Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s—It’s fine,” you replied, fixing your clothes and hair, “Are we…” you let the question hang like a date on a palm tree.

He nodded, “If you’ll still have me,” he replied. What he wanted to do was get on his knees and beg you to use your lips to end his suffering—beg that you use those hands to pull the sand out of his chest.

“Of course, I’d still have you, Jamil,”

Your words were like a soothing balm. It was the salve that you spread over his burns, over his scars, and over the bruises that his yearning created, “Okay,” he said, and it was all he could manage to say for now.

He picked up the kettle of tea and poured you some more. No matter what he did, he could not run away from you, his purpose. You forced the vagabond to stop and pulled the title right off of him, before pushing him into the waters of the oasis.

“We have some ma’amoul (semolina biscuit stuffed with date filling),” he says, after some silence.

#💖 — amoris writes #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #twst jamil #twisted wonderland x reader #twst jamil x reader #jamil nation is so back #making him speak arabic for y'all again

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bittersweet-folder · 3 days

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can i have 'briefly tracing the lines of their palms' with minghao please?

🪽Ofc love! Thanks for this request! (Please check the masterlist if anyone wants to request anything)

🪽Pairing: Artist Minghao x gn reader , established relationship, non idol au

🪽song rec: understand by keshi | 🪽word count : 437

Here you go with artist Minghao because I believe an artist's hands should be admired🩶

You're Minghao's muse. You love it a lot to be his muse, to be the one whom he admires the most and gets his inspiration from. You may not always understand how he perceived things and beings around him, but you admired the way he expressed it through his brush strokes on the canvas. It's a saturday night and you both were sitting on the couch watching a movie after dinner. You both were cuddled up, all cozy in the blankets. One of his arms was around your shoulder while you cuddled up close, your head resting on his chest.

It felt comforting and relaxing sharing each other's body warmth like that. You held his other hand with both of your hands. His hands are big with his freshly painted nails shiny because of the light from the tv screen.

"Hao these look soo pretty" You squealed when he had shown you his new manicure two days back.

You traced the pretty abstract red and black design on his nails. You also think of how he uses these hands to create those exquisite masterpieces hung on the walls of the exhibition room. It makes your heart swell with admiration and pride. You trace the lines of his palms now. Soft and slow traces.

"Love, what are you doing?" He asked,his voice a bit husky for not talking for some time now.

"Mmm nothing, focus on the movie" You mumbled, cozying up even closer to him as if there was a bit of space left between you both. A soft smile laced on your lips now.

He let out a chuckle. You kept on tracing his hand but then suddenly he tilted your face with his hand you were holding, making you look at you.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours hmm?" he asked. He was looking at your eyes, then your cheeks which were slightly pink but not that visible in the dully lit room.

"Your hands are very pretty. I really love how you paint so beautifully, like how your hand is familiar to that feeling" You said.

He would be lying if he didn't feel the admiration in your eyes, which did make him a little shy. He slowly came closer and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, his hand now caressing your cheek. He pulled back slowly and smiled looking at you.

"Thanks, love, that means a lot to me. I love you so much" he said in a softer voice.

"I love you too Hao" you said, now hugging and resting your head on his chest again.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆:*:･ﾟ☆

a/n: as someone who loves art and is an artist, writing this was quite comforting... <3

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fic #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt reactions #svt fluff #svt fanfic #minghao fluff #minghao #xu minghao #the 8 #minghao fanfic #minghao imagines #minghao x reader #svt

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elllisaaa · 2 days

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loved the bf!beomgyu!!! <3 could you perhaps do bf!taehyun as well? :)

the bf!txt agenda is not doing any good for my delulu hours but here we go !!

BF!TAEHYUN who is not the most talkative, but that is the most caring and observant boyfriend ever.

for example, he knows exactly what your coffee order is, he knows what your favourite snacks are, and he knows which song from your long ass playlist on spotify is your favourite. and these are things you don't even have to tell him, just because he always has an eye on you, and because he wants you to feel like a princess. and that's how taehyun makes you feel everyday. whenever you need something, bet he would hand you his card so you can pay for it. and don't even think about paying something for yourself or the both of you when you two are going out. but that's just because he wants to treat you like the queen you are.

"oh and i left my card for you on the kitchen counter, since you're going out with your friends this afternoon. i know you will do some shopping so get yourself something nice for our date tonight angel."

even if you don't workout, taehyun will bring you to the gym with him. he doesn't need you to do anything else than be there for him. it's maybe not what some would call quality time, but it is for both of you, especially when his schedule is so packed. he steals some kisses between his sets, lets you vent to him about your annoying coworkers, and smiles everytime you take his towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. and yes, he also loves it when you gush over his muscles and how strong he is. he's often the one praising you, and when you compliment him, he always finds a way to turn it back and fluster you. so sometimes, you make it your life mission to make him blush instead. and he lets you do so because you have him wrapped around your finger.

"you're very pretty today angel." - "but you're prettier tae, the prettiest boy in the world." - "what did i do to deserve you ?"

you know that your boyfriend sometimes struggles to talk about his emotions and feelings, and you're always here for him no matter what. but when he finally opens up to you, he's never backing up. everytime he feels bad or tired we would've kept it to himself and stayed alone before. but now, after a long day at work, all he wants is to come back home to you and hold you close to him. sometimes he needs to tell you everything that happened, and sometimes he just needs you to soothe him into your embrace. either way, he feels the most at ease, the most loved when he's close to you. in the mornings after these nights, he wakes up before you to make you breakfast as a thank you, even if you insist that he doesn't need to and that it's your job as his girlfriend. but the princess treatment never ends with taehyun, and he will never take you for granted.

"just eat angel, i did it because i wanted to and because i love you."

BF!TAEHYUN who pays for everything just so he can literally ruin you for any other men when you come back home.

because the reason he let you borrow his card to pay for your hair, your nails and your clothes, has some ulterior motives. he loves it when you're all dolled up for him, when you take up so much time to look even better than usual for him. he especially loves it when you're wearing skirts or dresses, because it gives him an easier access for when he bends you over the couch and fucks you from behind. he loves it when your makeup runs down your face because you're crying from how good he's making you feel. taehyun loves it when your hair are all tangled and messy because he's tugging on them when you're sucking on his cock. and he loves it when he sees the scratching marks your brand new nails he payed for had left on his back.

"that's it princess, cry for me. feels good ? i know it does."

taehyun is always willing to give you everything you want in bed, as long as you're good for him and doing everything he's telling you to. one of his favourite ways to torture you a little is by edging you. you can choose how he's pleasing you - his mouth, fingers or cock, whatever you want, he'll give it to you - but you have to warn him every time you're close, and he'll stop. and when he finally lets you cum, he's telling how proud of you he is, how good you are for him, and how good he's gonna fuck you as a reward. and he does fucks you good, so good you're going dumb and can only whine and cry out for him.

"my good girl, i'm gonna take care of you, hm ? gonna reward my angel."

but when you're not following his orders, or when you decide to be a brat and act out, he has no other choice but to discipline you, right ? his go to punishment is to bend you over his lap and spank you. taehyun makes you count each slap he gives you, finding it cute how red the skin of your ass gets with each new one. he loves it when you stumble over your words, moaning and crying out when he slaps your butt one more time. each time, you take your punishment so well he cannot do anything else than rewarding you with his cock, because after all, you're his princess and he just wants to give you the best. and obviously, he loves it when you're all cute and innocent, but the best moment is when you become nasty and desperate for him and he gets to lovingly degrade you.

"my pretty little slut, acting like a saint and whoring yourself out for my cock."

#eli answering your questions #eli's anonie #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt smut #taehyun smut #taehyun hard thoughts #taehyun hard hours #taehyun x reader

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solannn · 3 days

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𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒 𝐋’𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑

ᥫ᭡ 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⤷ bsd men ; what’s their fav things to do with their lover ? gn reader, might be hinted male. Established relationship, can be imagine as bf or husband.

˒ ⏤ 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 ;

• ⮑ i feel like, he would love doing chores with you. Like chore dates /hj

• ⮑ like he’s in the kitchen, washing the dishes with you. While he dulled the dirty plates, and made a pile of plates. You rinsed the plates and the piles. He found it fun to do chores with you, he loved it.

• ⮑ he seems like the person who hates chores or duties, however he isn’t. Sometimes he could be lazy to do it, when he isn’t in a mood. He def listen to music while doing it.

• ⮑ he will probably play with the foam from the dishwashing liquid, and put some froth on your nose, for a laugh.

• ⮑ i think, while he scrubing the dirt of the dishes, at the same time he would, he puts some music to enjoy their moments together. (It’s song about sucide) he propose to sang the song, with him. How could you refuse, this guy who was such a tease to you

9/10, it’s pretty cute that he’s helping you with chores, without getting bored.

˒ ⏤ 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 ;

• ⮑ bikes dates, like he’s showing you his fav place at midnight.

• ⮑ like he’s taking to the countryside, late at night after a long day at work. You’re holding his waist, tightly as you sat on the behind him. As he start the cycle and began to move it forward slowly. The breezing air was going through your long/short.

• ⮑ The warmness of your held, making him smile slightly. Sometimes, on middle of the road, he would ask you if you’re doing okay, or wondering if you’re asleep.

• ⮑ he loves taking you to his favorite place, the landscape is always so beautiful. He does that, with a grin on his face he also does that after a stressful day.

• ⮑ the countryside is mostly a village is often a place where traditional ways of life are still practiced or, has rustic charm, with its thatched-roof cottages and winding streets. It’s so lovely, the ancient woods, which were still used to build houses, the trees and bushes which surrounded several villages. Lights illuminated their view, to better see the landscape. The stars shone brightly, and the moon was reflected by the sun.

10/10 it’s makes me feel sleepy, if someone does that to me, specially if i had a hard day.

𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲 ;

If you’re a musician/violonist ;

• ⮑ you loved, music, and syncs melody and so does Fyodor.

• ⮑ don’t you think a violinist and a cellist, are the most perfect duo for each other ?

• ⮑ To calm down after a hard day, or you just want to relax with your partner. The music filling in the room, they didn’t need the lyrics, the intrusment was already perfect.

• ⮑ While you play violin, he plays cello with you, creating the most beautiful and elegant melody. The song was relaxing to both of your ears.

• ⮑ A harmonious, and tuneful melodious sound filled the room, Fyodor’s eyes was closed, enjoying the melody you made, with him. You and Fyodor were having fun, no matter what melodious music he started playing, you could follow him, or recognize the music without any problem. Once the music stopped, Fyodor opened his eyes again, looking at you and curve his lips into a grin. Fyodor had noticed, but not you. Nikolai and Sigma were in the same room, they were curious to hear such synchronized music. Nikolai was amused, as he clapped his hands, quickly, whereas Sigma clapped softly, while glaring at the excited clown.

idk what to rate him, i don’t even play instruments

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cookiesaddict · 15 hours

Text

Full Moon + Apology Tour Episode Analysis/Prediction

Full Moon

The episode stars with Stolas and Blitz waking up on the day of the full moon. Their duet starts, Blitz sings how excited he is for their usual full moon date and the things he wants to to do Stolas in bed. Stolas is excited as well, but anxious. he wants to end their arrangement, and give Blitz to choice to stay or go.

Blitz arrives at imp headquarters. Blitz is in his formal clothes, ready for his and Stolas’ date. He puts Moxxie in charge, and leaves all of his paper work for Moxxie to deal with while he is gone (poor Moxxie).

But before visiting Stolas, Blitz wants to make their night extra special by giving Stolas a romantic gift. With his shopping bag in his hand, he goes to the lust ring asking Fizz for help to find the perfect gift for Stolas.

Blitz arrives at Stolas’ palace, the gift is in his hands what seems to be candles I think? Blitz thinks they’re going to go bed like usual, only to find out that this is not what’s going to happen. Stolas admits to ending the arrangement. Soon, an argument between the two breaks out.

Blitz feels used now that Stolas is ending their deal, thinking that Stolas doesn’t want him anymore. Their argument escalates. And instead of letting Stolas in, Blitz starts to push Stolas away by probably saying something very hurtful to him. Blitz now realizing that he has hurt Stolas badly, desperately tries to reach out to him by trying to grab his hand. But as he does so, Stolas kicks him out of his palace by using a portal. It’s too late now, Blitz has lost Stolas. Then the episode ends.

Viv has said that “You’re losing me” by Taylor Swift is a very Stolas coded song. A part of the lyrics goes like this:

“Now, you're runnin' down the hallway

And you know what they all say

You don't know what you got until it's gone”

By losing Stolas, Blitz realizes now what he had in Stolas and what he has lost. Or maybe he realizes this later in “Apology Tour”?

Apology Tour

(This one was really hard for me to predict. It could go in so many ways, so I’m most likely wrong.)

Blitz visits Stolas, probably to get back into Stolas’ good graces again. But Stolas is not having it. He is still very angry and hurt. He is obviously not happy to see Blitz again. “Do you feel any remorse for what you do?” Judging by this line, Blitz is likely downplaying everything and acting like nothing has happened (Like he did with Barbie). Either way, Blitz attempt to apologize and win Stolas back has failed. So he goes back home, and starts crying on the couch? (him crying on the couch could very well be from another episode)

Eventually, Stolas decides to join Verosika on tour. Verosika likely wants to help Stolas with his break up, and wants to give him a change to vent about Blitz and pour his heart out on stage. Blitz decides to go to Verosika’s concert for some reason. Maybe he goes to the concert to try to apologize to Stolas again? He did seemed to be really focused into trying to apologize to Stolas at the beginning of the ep, so is he is going to try again?

Blitz soon finds out he is not welcome at the concert, which is why he is dressed up as a ghost or something so he could sneak in unoticed? It’s a Halloween concert anyways. Eventually, Blitz bumps into Verosika. Maybe it will result in them finally making up and for Blitz to apologize to her?

The concert begins, and Stolas finally takes the stage. Unaware that Blitz is there, he starts to sing. Judging by the text on the banner, Stolas is singing about his grudge towards Blitz and how hurt he is. The scene with the shattered mirrors with Blitz’ reflection in it during Stolas’ song, also supports that it is possibly a grudge song. It could also be Stolas singing how hurt he is, rather than it being a grudge song, which seems more likely to me?

But maybe as the song progresses, it gradually turns into a love song because he loves Blitz just too much to stay angry at him? While Stolas is singing, Blitz is hearing every word. Blitz looks at him. Is he touched by Stolas’ love song? I think Blitz now knows that Stolas genuinely does love him, since Stolas doesn’t know he is there. So there are no reasons for Blitz to not believe everything Stolas is singing. Not just that, but it will also gave Blitz an insight on how much Stolas is hurting.

However, it seems that Stolas isn’t angry at Blitz anymore. Because in the next scene, Blitz and Stolas appears to be talking (Blitz still has that same ghost disguise on). Looks like Blitz apologized to Stolas, and that they are finally making up. Maybe even confessing their feelings for one another? Who knows, maybe decide to take things slow? It could also be that they just stay friends for now. But I feel like they’re definitely making up. The episode ends.

(Also There is also a whole b plot with m&m and Loona fighting a robot at the lust ring. Not sure if it’s from the same episode? Also I have literally no clue why the robot is there.)

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pb524830 · 7 hours

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right where you left me

part: 2 pairing: paige bueckers x oc word count: 2.7k c/w: mention of blood, language a/n: hey guyssss here is part two enjoy it i love you ALL!! live reactions in my inbox => ALWAYS welcome!

I wait a beat, processing. “What… did you want to talk about?”

“Us.”

My eyebrows shoot to my hairline. “Us?” I demand. “Who is us?”

Paige moves her hands between the two of us exasperatedly. “Bro. You and me. Us.”

“We haven’t been an us in three years, Bueckers.”

“I know that. I know that. I just-” She lets out a huge sigh. “I miss you, bro.”

I truly can’t help the laugh that escapes me. Not that I try. But still.

“What is funny?” She demands.

I bend over, bracing my hands on my knees. And I cackle.

“You miss me?!” I howl, clutching my sides. “Oh, that’s good. Now you miss me, okay.”

“Good to know you’re still a crazy bitch.”

“Good to know you’re still fucking stupid,” I shoot back, wiping at my eyes. Her eyes widen and I can feel a retort on the tip of her tongue, because despite everything - I know her. I cut her off before she can say a word.

“What did you think was gonna happen, Paige? You were gonna come knock on my door in the middle of the night like a fucking Taylor Swift song, and tell me you miss me, and then what? Huh? I was gonna- what, kiss you under the stars? Tell you you’re the love of my life and of course I’ll take you back?” I sneer.

She clicks her tongue irritatedly, not unaccustomed to my rants. “It’s not even like that, dude.”

My eyebrows raise again. “Oh? What is it like, then, Paige? Do tell,” I snark, crossing my arms.

“I just miss… I don’t know, being around you? Like, I hate how awkward things are between us now.”

“That’s your own damn fault.”

“Yes! Okay! It’s my fault, I get it, and I’m sorry-”

“Which part are you sorry for, Paige?” I demand. “The part where you convinced me to not only cheat on my girlfriend, but also break up with her to be with you? Or maybe it’s the part where you swore we’d be together and we’d make long distance work because, really, Michigan and Connecticut aren’t that far. No, maybe it was the part where you dumped me after I came out to my family for you because you wanted to fuck other people?” My voice is rising, and I’m stepping closer to her. We’re nearly chest to chest when I finish speaking

She searches my eyes. I don’t miss the way her gaze lingers on my lips, and suddenly there’s goosebumps all down my arms and I’m conscious of the tank top I’m wearing. “All of it. Everything. I’m sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to,” she says quietly.

I search her eyes back, my lip curling. “Cop out. Fucking cop out. You’re a coward. You were a coward then, and you’re a coward now. Go home, Paige.” I turn to walk away from her, but her hand lands in the crook of my elbow.

My knees nearly buckle. It had always been like this. Her touch had always had the power to make me crumble, and it shudders through me even now.

“Maya-” she starts.

I shake her off. “I said fuck off.”

***************

“It’s Juilliard.”

“Well, open it.”

“I can’t”

Paige sighs, coming to crouch down next to me at my desk, lacing her fingers with mine. “Mai. I’m right here. No matter what happens, it will be fine.” I scoff at her. “That’s so easy for you to say. You’ve been committed to your dream school for almost a year.” Her face softens, blue eyes trained on mine. “You’re fucking incredible, dude. Any school who doesn’t see that doesn’t deserve you. No matter what happens when you open that letter, you’re still a badass. It’ll be okay.”

I squeeze her hand, nodding. “Yeah. You’re right. You’re right,” I say, mostly trying to convince myself. Paige places a kiss against our clasped hands and I ignore the shudder it sends through me. It’s too domestic, too intimate, and this is probably a moment I should be sharing with my actual girlfriend. “Come on. You can do it.”

I login to my admissions portal, click to view my decision and shut my eyes tight, waiting for it to load.

I hear Paige breathe next to sharply, and I open my eyes, blinking.

Dear Ms. Jacobs,

We regret to inform you…

I can’t read the rest of it. My eyes blur with tears, and sob claws its way up my throat.

I wasn’t good enough. All that work, the sweat, the tears, the hours spent in the studio - fuck all of it, because I wasn’t good enough.

“Maya,” Paige whispers. My bottom lip quivers, and the tears slip down my face. They land on the back of Paige’s hand in my lap. “Maya, baby,” she tries again, and I shake my head. My breath shudders out, and the tears are falling faster and faster now. I shake my head more indignantly, slamming my laptop shut.

A sob forces itself out of my mouth, and I bring a shaking hand to my mouth. Then the tears are really falling, streaming down my face, my whole body shaking with sobs, and I’m collapsing out of my chair into Paige’s arms. I sink into her on the floor, letting her strength support me, because God knows I have none. Her arms are firm around me, and I cry and cry and cry into her shirt, the blue of it darkening with my tears.

She presses her lips to my hairline, whispering words of reassurance against my forehead.

And though my whole world is crashing down around me, Paige is there. My Paige.

So, really - how bad could it be?

**********

“Mom!”

“Yes, honey?”

“What the hell is Paige doing here again?”

“Oh, she said she’d take Matthew to the park to play some basketball. You know how much he used to love watching her play-”

“Oh, my God!” I exclaim, stomping out of the kitchen and throwing my arms up. When the hell did she even manage to do that?

I storm out of the house, to where Paige is waiting near her car. “You better not be using my little brother to get to me, you asshole,” I warn menacingly, poking a finger into her chest. She narrows her eyes at me, and it startles me a-fucking-gain just how blue they are. She’s in a white cropped tank and mid-length blue shorts that hang off of her hips. Slowly, she pulls my finger down, wrapping her hand around it.

“Chill, Jacobs. Not everything is about you,” she says. I glare at the snark in her tone. “Ew, Maya, go change if you’re gonna come with us,” I hear my brother Matthew’s voice from behind me, a pair of Kyries hanging from his hand. I turn around to gape at him, and Paige guffaws. “Excuse you? I will take those shoes right to the store and return them-”

“Yap, yap, yap,” my brother complains, and my mouth drops open further, Paige’s laughter increasing in volume behind me.

I turn around and smack her on the stomach. “Shut up,” I hiss.

“Get in the car, kid!” Paige calls.

“Now, hang on. Where the fuck are you taking him?” I demand.

Matthew grins, running up to us. “I’m telling Mom you cussed,” he says slyly.

I make a face at him. “You’re such a little shit.”

Paige’s eyes trace over my face. “You’re sister’s a little brat, huh?” She notes, and Matthew groans in agreement. My eyes shoot to hers in shock. Brat?

She smirks at me. “You all ready?” She asks Matthew, but her eyes don’t leave mine. “You’re not taking my brother anywhere without me,” I blurt out stubbornly. What the hell? I don’t care that much. “And you’re not coming anywhere with me looking like that. Maya, you look ugly,” my brother says bluntly. “Matthew,” I warn. His attitude has really gotten worse since I’d gone to school.

“Go change,” he whines, and I look down at my old pajama pants and sleep tank, then back up to Paige. Her eyes trail up my body the same way, jaw tensing, and her tongue darts out to lick her lips. “Yeah,” she intones hoarsely. “Go change.”

I hold her gaze for a few more seconds, the heat of it addicting. When she jerks her chin back towards my house, I listen. I run inside, up to my room, changing my clothes quickly.

I run back out in an all blue workout set, a pair of leggings and tank top that are the same royal blue as Paige and my high school colors. I fling open the door to Paige’s car, hopping in. I gather my hair to clip it up into a bun but she doesn’t move. “Hello? Go?” I say sarcastically, looking at her curiously. Her eyes are trained on me already, and it makes my chest warm.

“You’re wearing that?” She asks quietly, her knuckles white as her fingers grip the steering wheel. I crinkle my nose at her. “Sorry, did you wanna pick out my outfit?”

“Do you actually just exist to make my life difficult?” She snaps.

“Just drive,” I say, rolling my eyes.

The car is quiet for the first five seconds of the drive.

Then Matthew pipes up. “You guys fight a lot.”

Paige laughs drily. “You have no idea.”

We reached the park Paige and I had stumbled into each other at last week. Paige opens her trunk, resting her hand against the trunk door up in the air as she surveys her trunk. “You should clean your car,” I say matter-of-factly. “And you should mind your own business,” she quips back, but there’s no malice to her tone. She picks a pair of shoes out of the pile building in her car, slipping out of her driving slides to lace them up.

“Matt, you got the ball?!” She calls back to my brother. He yelps in response, already running to the court.

That’s the other thing that really pissed me off about all of it. He used to worship her. It’s not like he had a dad to teach him all the things he was supposed to know. But ever since we were kids, Paige had been there.

When he was four, he scraped his knee, and she cleaned the blood up that trailed down his leg because she knew it made me squeamish. She’d cleaned it with alcohol, holding his hand through the sting, and kissed the bandage she’d placed on top of it.

When he was six, he picked up a basketball for the first time. Paige was his hero. He wanted to be just like her, and she’d spent hours with him and Drew teaching them all the fundamentals. He dragged me to her high school games, starry-eyed at watching his idol run up and down the court.

When he was eight, my mom couldn’t make it to his 3rd grade talent show. She had an emergency shift at work, and I still only had my permit. Paige had sped through perhaps three different stop signs trying to get me there on time, and she’d taken us out for milkshakes afterwards.

My jaw clenches at the memories.

I watch them together, watch her let him blatantly foul her over and over again, purposefully missing layups while he laughs that she’s going easy on him. A tear tracks down my face, and I wipe at it stubbornly.

“Hey, you good?” Paige pants, running up to me, her brows furrowed. I hope she hasn’t seen me crying. “What? Yeah. So good.” Matthew is close behind her, his water bottle in hand. I blink. “Damn. Y’all already done?”

Matthew frowns. “Are you dumb? It’s been an hour and a half.” I open my mouth to spit a retort back at him, when Paige interjects. “Hey, take it easy on your sister,” she chides, clapping him on the back. “Thank you,” I sniff. She grins at him slyly. “She’s already shit at basketball, no need to make her feel worse,” Paige smirks. I roll my eyes.

Matthew howls with laughter, high fiving her. She takes his head in the crook of her arm, ruffling his hair. “Ah, I missed you, kid,” she laughs. “Now, hang on,” I splutter. “I’m not that bad.” Paige quirks an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? Play me then.” I scoff. “No!”

Paige backs up, dribbling the ball between her legs, and starts clucking like a chicken.

“Oh, that’s really mature,” I say loudly, crossing my arms. She doesn’t stop, and my stupid little brother joins in. “Play me!” She calls over his noises. I roll my eyes again, and she laughs. “They gon’ get stuck up there!”

“Okay, check up,” I snap finally.

I’m not awful - I played as a kid and in high school before committing to dance full time - but I’m no Paige Bueckers. I meet her at the 3-point line, gesturing for the ball. She grins, her eyebrows raised. “You sure?” I flick my wrist, gesturing for the ball again. “Don’t get all pussy on me now, Bueckers,” I tease.

It’s natural. Too natural, too instinctual, to be going back and forth with her like this.

Paige tosses me the ball, and I toss it back to her, before it lands in my hands again. I back up, dribble it out, then make a quick drive to the basket. I lay it in easily, catching it under the net, and turning to frown at her. “You’re taking it easy on purpose,” I complain, thudding the ball into her chest. She grasps onto the ball, staring down at me, her eyes searching mine. “How do you know that?” She murmurs.

I shake my head, biting back a smile. I can’t tell if the rapid beating of my heart is from the drive or from the fact that she’s this close to me, smelling clean and fresh and so Paige. “Cut the shit. Play for real,” I tell her, dropping my hands from the ball. Neither of us move, the ball the only thing between us. Then she breaks the thread connecting us, dribbling back to the perimeter.

On her drive, I grasp at her shirt, and she yelps, completing the play anyway, the ball falling deftly through the net. “Foul!” She yells at me. “You have like seven inches on me, how the fuck else am I supposed to defend you?!” I demand. Paige stares at me. Then she cracks her neck, tongue in her cheek.

When she blocks my next shot viciously, I know she’s playing for real.

As much as I hate to admit it, she’s incredibly attractive when she’s so competitive. Possession after possession, she absolutely dominates the game. It doesn’t help that my idiot brother is cheering for her the whole time, spurring her confidence on. She knocks me to the ground on the last play, yelling triumphantly in my face as she stands over me, feet on either side of my body. Her body glistens with sweat, but her smile is fucking blinding. She leans down, her chain dangling in my face. “Still not shit, huh, Jacobs?”

I grab her shirt, pulling her to the floor, and her knees land on the concrete on either side of my torso so that she’s almost straddling my body. She lurches forward with the momentum, her hands on either side of my head. Her ponytail falls down, brushing my nose. “Shut up, Bueckers,” I mumble, but I’m smiling, my eyes moving between her lips and her eyes, my hand still fisted in her shirt.

“Are you guys gonna kiss?!” Matthew calls, breaking me out of my trance. I shove her off of me and she squawks, falling to the side. “Shut up, Matthew,” I grumble, stalking past my brother and smacking him on the back of the head. Paige is on her feet now, dusting off her hands. “So sensitive,” she says mockingly, eliciting a withering look from me. She sighs, turning to my brother and holding her hands out helplessly. “Can’t take a joke,” he says, shaking his head. Paige laughs loudly, looping an arm around his shoulder and walking with him to her car.

“How do milkshakes sound?” I hear her ask him.

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers fic #wcbb #fic #uconn wbb #✂️ anon #ncaaw #paige bueckers x oc #fic talk

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franklyimissparis · 1 day

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mr schwartz: a line-by-line queer-coded lyrical analysis

warning: this is quite long but mr schwartz is one of my favourite songs off the car album (and one of my favourites of alex’s in general) and i’ve ALWAYS read it as super queer but have yet to dive into precisely what makes it queer and the themes within it. it’s TRULY such an understated lyrical masterpiece.

Put your heavy metal to the test

- this is a play on words of the phrase ‘test your mettle’ which basically means to see whether or not someone will carry on through something that is difficult. immediately, this indicates that the relationship between alex and the other person is a difficult one and requires strength/determination to move forward with

- it also could refer to heavy metal music (which isn’t a very traditionally romantic genre) as is played off of in the next few lines

Might be half a love song in it all for you

- the phrase “half a love song” is particularly interesting to me as there are many ways to take it: it could be half a love song because it is unfinished or because it isn’t fully a love song (and both interpretations tie into other lyrics in the song)

- if we go down the route that it’s only half a love song because it isn’t fully a love song, it implies that there is more to the relationship than romance or that the song/relationship isn’t meant to be viewed (solely) through a romantic lens (but the other person may see it as such)

- whereas the idea that the song is unfinished could either suggest a lack of passion or the feeling that the story isn’t done yet.

- it could also communicate that the someone else needs to finish the song for alex - which is somewhat implied in the previous line. this could also indicate that, like alex, the other person gets musical inspiration out of their relationship

Timing wise, it’s probably for the best

- the use of “timing” ties in with the musical references but also highlights that the relationship is heavily tied to the timing of what’s going on in their lives (invoking “right person, wrong time” in a way)

- alex is acknowledging that because of forces outside of their control (i.e. time) it’s probably best they don’t pursue a serious relationship (or, like the previous line, a “full” love song)

Come here and kiss me now, before it gets too cute

- he’s asking his lover to quickly kiss him before they can let the moment become sweet, implying that, while he is fine with the physical aspect, the emotional side of things makes him uncomfortable

- musically, he also wants to avoid being cheesy or overly sentimental which ties in thematically with the ultracheese as well

- it’s important to note that this is also the only explicitly romantic line on the entirety of the car album: this (and the half a love song line) is the only line on the album that cannot possibly be read as platonic

Mr Schwartz is stayin’ strong for the crew

- here we switch to discussing the persona/character of mr schwartz, which as seen later, is obviously meant to be an extension/alter-ego of alex himself

- the reference to “staying strong for the crew” directly after talking about his lover implies that there is a conflict between the two: that staying strong for the crew entails keeping an emotional distance from his lover

- he recognises that those around him rely on him to keep up his persona to do their jobs (in this extended metaphor of a film set)

Wardrobe’s lint-rollin’ your velveteen suit

- alex is known to emphasise his personas via clothing choices and the velveteen suit is representative of that here. the crew removes any imperfections, like the lint, off of the suit (the persona)

- this also ties into alex’s obsession with perfectionism and control and how, though he is wearing the suit (i.e. persona), there is a mutual reliance between him and the “crew” to maintain his image

- also have to mention that velveteen is a rather untraditional material choice for something as traditional as a suit, there is a bit of a clash here between the two (a fully velveteen suit could also be seen as quite camp - and is also very 70s, which ties into eycte’s aesthetic too)

And smudgin’ dubbin on your dancin’ shoes

- dubbin makes leather softer and waterproof: again, others are trying to prevent damage from occurring to the persona

- this could also refer to the musical direction that the band has gone to in tbhc and the car: their music is softer and more contemplative than it was before, especially since ‘dancing shoes’ is also a song off of their first album. this could be commentary on how alex’s personas have evolved and the mixed reactions he’s gotten from his audience over it

Gradually, it’s coming into view

- we move from music imagery to film imagery with the line “coming into view”.. things were blurry or unclear before but he (or the other person) are slowly coming to realizations about their situation

It’s like your little directorial debut

- having a directorial debut suggests that this is the first time they are taking control of a situation and telling others what to do, they are directing someone else instead of being directed - with the word little being used to emphasise that this isn’t a massive change yet

- but he’s also directing himself to behave in a certain way: alex is directing his new persona, mr schwartz, in his debut

As fine a time as any to deduce

- to me this line also implies that this realisation has sort of been a long time coming, they’ve been through this cycle so many times that they might as well come to the realisation now

The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

- going into the next verse as well, this hints that alex and his lover have had struggles with seeing where alex ends and the persona begins and have also never been able to get their relationship right as a result

And if we guess who I’m pretending to be

- here he is confirming what is obvious: alex is mr schwartz and the persona is clearly differentiated from himself as “pretending”. alex and his lover are both keenly aware that mr schwartz is a persona which almost becomes a joke to them in the next line

Do we win a prize?

- alex pokes fun at how obvious it is to him and his lover that mr schwartz is a character but i think he’s also pointing out here: do we get anything out of the persona that i’ve created?

- he’s questioning, perhaps for the first time, if in the end keeping the persona up will be worth it to him and his lover or if it is all meaningless

Having attempted twice, both incorrectly

- okay so obviously the majority of us reading this are immediately going to go to a certain side project of alex’s and the two albums they’ve released (with talk of there being a third to complete the trilogy)

- this suggests that there have been two attempts at happiness between him and his lover but both times there was something fundamentally wrong with the relationship that caused them to drift, which is likely related to the act that he is putting on

Do we get a third try?

- the phrasing on this line is interesting as well as alex doesn’t ask his lover directly like “can we have a third try?” instead, he poses this question more existentially: will a third try be given to the two of them? it implies that he and the other person aren’t in control of their situation to some extent, they have to rely on being given chances by others.

- though this also could be interpreted as alex shirking responsibility of the situation onto others instead of being straightforward. he simultaneously wants and does not want control.

The gloved hand’s reachin’ in to hit the switch

- by wearing gloves, there is the desire to avoid leaving fingerprints/evidence of the relationship. and because the hand is gloved it is intentionally anonymous: is it alex’s hand? mr schwartz’s? the other person’s? or someone outside of things meddling in the relationship?

- interesting also that a switch is a binary thing: either on or off (gay or straight, platonic or romantic, alex or mr schwartz) ignoring the possibility of things being on a more complicated spectrum as is implied earlier (“half a love song”)

- hitting the switch is sometimes used as a euphemism for triggering a permanent change but can also be seen as a temporary action (the switch can be endlessly turned off/on), highlighting the back and forth in their relationship.

There’s not one goddamn thing that you can do about it

- this is the only time alex curses in the song which highlights how frustrating the persona and lack of power can be

- he feels stuck in the situation, just continuously flicking the switch between persona and reality, and indicates that his lover is also likely frustrated at this too. though they want to help fix the situation, they can’t, or at least they feel like they can’t

But Mr Schwartz is havin’ tea with the grips

- again, he’s switching back and forth between the real him and mr schwartz: while alex is frustrated and insecure about the lack of control in his life, mr schwartz charms those around him and takes hold of the situation

- more film imagery with mentioning the grips (those who help with camera and lighting equipment on a film set): to me, this line is fascinating as we’ve seen that everyone (including the crew) is working towards keeping the mr schwartz persona up and through the metaphor of the film set they are creating something imaginary, however, behind the scenes the grips still get to be real people with real families while alex, or mr schwartz, has to continue to keep the persona up.

Askin’ after all the wives and the kids

- the use of the phrase “askin’ after” instead of “talking about” etc. implies that the question is not mutual: mr schwartz is not being asked about his wife/kids because he does not have any and the others know it. yet he knows that it is important that he shows interest in their nuclear families. this is also clearly commentary on how alex is the only unmarried and childless member of the band

- it could be seen as him directing conversation away from his personal life: focusing on others and letting them talk is more comfortable than discussing yourself honestly and breaking the act

It’s at the heart of what the business is

- the final line of the song breaks down the essence of why the persona is kept up: ultimately, it is a business decision. alex understands how closely tied together business and personal lives are as a celebrity and is invested in the persona to keep the two separate, though by choice or force is up for debate

- also poses the question of whether or not he’s genuinely interested in their lives or if it is just business to him. it could be read as bittersweet in the sense that the heart of the business is human connection, but if you don’t conform you aren’t allowed to drop the act without punishment

- finally, this line also ties back to “staying strong for the crew”: he has to keep up the persona so that the ‘crew’ can continue to work and take care of their families. and hearing about them is both a reminder of what he is denying himself and what is at stake for the others.

to summarise: alex is torn between putting on the straight persona of mr schwartz and being truly himself within the fractured relationship he has with his lover - which has been heavily influenced by external and internal pressures. gee i wonder who the song is about (rhymes with schmiles schmane.)

#may do some other songs bc this was fun #it took me way too long though 😭😭#if you made it to the end you’re insane and i love you #if anyone has any requests let me know lmao #alex turner #the car era #the car album #arctic monkeys #miles kane #milex #the car #mr schwartz #tlsp

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georgescitadel · 2 days

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George R.R. Martin on the process of creating A Game Of Thrones (1/3)

You hold in your hands the second volume of A Song of Ice and Fire… but not the second volume as originally intended. Although I wrote the opening of A Game of Thrones back in the summer of 1991, as related in my introduction to the Meisha Merlin edition of that volume, it was not until October of 1993 that I drew up a proposal for my agents to take to publishers. There is no mention of any book titled A Clash of Kings in that proposal. In 1993, I was under the impression that I was writing a trilogy.

Trilogies had been the dominant form in epic fantasy ever since J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings had been broken apart by publishers and released in three volumes. And the story that I wanted to tell divided quite naturally into three parts; much more so, in fact, than The Lord of the Rings, which is actually one fairly seamless narrative, and not a trilogy at all. I planned to title the books A Game of Thrones, A Dance with Dragons, and The Winds of Winter. I knew right from the start that they would all be large books. Huge books, even. But there were to be only three of them, and…and none were to be called A Clash of Kings. Sometimes the author is the last to know.

As I write this, I am halfway through the writing of A Feast for Crows, the fourth volume of my ‘trilogy.’ There is no mention of that title in my 1993 proposal either. These days, when pressed, I confidently assert that A Song of Ice and Fire will ultimately run to six books… but behind my back I know my lady Parris is smiling knowingly and holding up seven fingers. She may be right. Though I may dream of six books, plan for six books, work toward six books, the only thing that truly matters is the story. And the story needs to be as long as the story needs to be.

In Hollywood, the suits will tell you how long that is. A television show has to fit within its allotted time slot, of course, and you cannot beg, borrow, or steal an extra minute, no matter how much the story needs it. Running times are somewhat more flexible for films, though not as much as one might think. For the most part, the studios still want movies to run about two hours, so they look for screenplays of 120 pages or less, and demand cuts in any scripts that come in longer. My own screenplays and teleplays were almost always too long and too expensive in first draft, so in my later drafts, along with addressing the inevitable notes from studio, network, and producers, I was constantly trimming. In the end, I would deliver a shooting script that was the right length and under budget, but it was never a happy process… and I often went away feeling that the earlier drafts were the better ones.

The size of A Song of Ice and Fire was in no small part a reaction to ten years of trimming. I wanted to do something epic in scale, something at once grand and sprawling and complex and subtle, with a cast of thousands, huge battles, mighty castles, gorgeous costume, lavish feast, great rivers, towering mountains, vast fields… all the things I could not do in television. In short. I wanted to make a world. And for that you need a bit of room.

In my original proposal, I estimated that each volume of the trilogy might run as long as 800 pages in manuscript. The novels that I had written during the 70's and 80's, before Hollywood, had generally come in at 400 or 500 pages or thereabouts, so an 800 pages book seemed very lengthy indeed. The three books of the trilogy would be structured around the long, slow seasons of Westeros. A Game of Thrones would be summer’s book, A Dance with Dragons would take us through autumn, and The Winds of Winter… well, the title says it all. Even in the Seven Kingdoms, where a season can last for years, 800 pages ought to give me enough room to reach the end of summer and conclude the part of my tale, I reasoned.

‘Twas a lovely plan of battle… but no plan of battle ever survives contact with the enemy, it has been said. Writers know the truth of that as well as any general, though our wars are fought on blank white sheets of paper and empty computer screens. For the map is not the territory, the blueprint is not the house, the recipe is not the dinner… and the outline is never ever the book.

- George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings Limited Edition Introduction (2002)

#Ned Stark #Catelyn Stark #Sansa Stark #Arya Stark #Bran Stark #Jon Snow #Tyrion Lannister #Daenerys Targaryen #The Outline #A Game Of Thrones #George R.R. Martin #ValyrianScrolls #ASOIAF

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