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northernmariette · 3 years

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Countess Potocka Visits the Davouts

The moment is drawing near when I will say goodbye to Countess Potocka. In my next post she will share the scene with another memoir-writer, both of them describing the same person in quite contrasting ways. For now, the Countess is still starring on her own, compelled by good manners to accept an invitation to a meal she would have given her left arm to be able to refuse. Marie-Louise being absent, the Countess finds another handy target for her barbs.

The Countess, having ascertained whether her visit will be more convenient in the daytime or in the evening (daytime), gets dressed in new, fashionable and expensive attire, though she is much bothered by her shoes (too small?). I can't help but think that this outfit was meant to impress the Davouts with her superior status and unimpeachable pedigree - something simpler would have been preferable, as we shall see. Since it's already three in the afternoon when she appears at her hosts' door, maybe they were not expecting her anymore, even if we assume she had advised them this was the day of her visit. At least the Countess is honest enough to state Madame Davout had treated her well in the past.

C'est ainsi que j'allai chez la maréchale Davout, qui m'avait comblée de prévenances pendant son séjour à Varsovie, du temps où son mari commandait en Pologne. Comme elle passait les étés à Savigny (1), c'est là qu'il fallut aller la chercher. J'envoyai à son hôtel en ville quelle serait l'heure la plus convenable pour faire ma visite, - on me répondit que ce serait dans la matinée. Je me rendis donc à Savigny par un soleil brûlant, mal garantie par un très petit chapeau orné de violettes, et très gênée dans mes brodequins lilas parfaitement assortis à une robe montante en gros de Naples de même couleur ; - madame Germont, oracle de la mode, avait elle-même combiné toute ma toilette.

[...]

[J]e me promettais une visite agréable. L'hôtel de la maréchale, à Paris, m'avait donné une grande idée de son goût et de son opulence, et je pensais la trouver luxueusement établie à Savigny. J'arrivai vers trois heures. Le château, entouré d'un fossé et d'un mur, avait pour entrée une porte hermétiquement fermée. L'herbe croissait dans les fossés ; - on eût dit une habitation abandonnée depuis maintes années. Mon laquais, ayant enfin trouvé le cordon de la sonnette, une petite fille assez mal vêtue vint, au bout de quelques minutes, demander ce qu'on désirait.

- Madame la maréchale est-elle à la maison?

- Oh ! pardonnez-moi, qu'ils y sont, et M. le maréchal aussi, répondit la fillette.

Et vite elle accourut appeler un des hommes du château, qui se mit à la suivre sans se presser et tout en ajustant sa livrée.

Je me fis annoncer, et blottie dans la voiture, j'attendis encore assez longtemps, ne sachant trop si je devais insister ou simplement laisser une carte.

Au bout d'un petit quart d'heure un valet de chambre se présenta enfin à la portière du carrosse et me fit entrer dans une vaste cour ; il s'excusa des lenteurs du service, m'avouant sans façons qu'à l'instant où j'étais arrivée, les gens travaillaient au jardin, et que lui-même était occupé à nettoyer le verger.

On me fit traverser plusieurs salons complètement démeublés ; la pièce où l'on m'introduisit n'était guère plus ornée que les précédentes, mais au moins il y avait un canapé et des chaises ! La maréchale ne tarda pas à apparaître. Je m'aperçus aisément qu'elle avait fait toilette pour moi, car elle attachait encore quelques épingles à son corsage. Après quelques minutes d'une conversation languissante, elle sonna pour faire prévenir son mari. Puis nous reprîmes notre entretien pénible. Ce n'est pas que madame Davout manquât d'usage ou fût dépourvue de cette sorte d'esprit qui facilite les rapports entre deux personnes du même monde, mais il y avait en elle une certaine roideur qui pouvait être prise pour de la morgue. Elle ne perdait jamais de vue le maréchalat ; jamais un sourire gracieux ne venait animer les traits de sa beauté sévère. [...]

Le maréchal arriva enfin dans un état de transpiration qui attestait son empressement ; il s'assit tout essoufflé, et, tenant son mouchoir de poche pour s'essuyer le front, il eut soin de le mouiller de salive afin d'enlever plus sûrement la poussière dont sa figure était couverte. Cet abandon un peu soldatesque cadrait mal avec les manières empesées de son épouse ; elle en fut visiblement contrariée. Me trouvant de trop dans cette scène muette, je me levai et voulus prendre congé, mais on me pria de rester à déjeuner. En attendant que le repas fût servi, nous fîmes une promenade dans le parc... Il n'y avait aucun chemin tracé, les gazons étaient de hautes herbes toutes prêtes à devenir des meules de foin, les arbres coupés pendant la Révolution repoussaient en manière de broussaille ; je laissais à chaque buisson des fragments de mes volants, et mes brodequins lilas avaient pris une teinte verdâtre. Le maréchal nous encourageait de la voix et du geste, nous promettant une surprise charmante !... Quel ne fut pas mon désappointement lorsque, au détour d'un massif de chênes adolescents, nous nous trouvâmes en face de trois petites huttes en osier ! Le duc mit un genou en terre et s'écria :

- Ah! les voilà... les voilà !...

Puis, modulant sa voix :

- Pi... pi... pi...

Aussitôt une nuée de perdreaux se mit à voltiger autour de la tête du maréchal.

- Ne laissez sortir les autres qu'au moment où les plus jeunes seront rentrés, et donnez du pain à ces dames... Elles vont s'amuser comme des reines, dit-il à un rustre qui remplissait les fonctions de garde-chasse.

Et nous voilà, par un soleil brûlant, donnant la becquée aux perdreaux !

La duchesse vida, avec un calme et une dignité imperturbable, le panier qu'on lui avait présenté. Quant à moi, je faillis me trouver mal, et, n'y tenant plus, je fis observer que le ciel se couvrait et que nous étions menacés d'un orage.

[...]

Le déjeuner fini, je m'esquivai en toute hâte, jurant, mais un peu tard, qu'on ne m'y prendrait plus.

Thus I went to the home of Maréchale Davout, who had showered me with courtesies during her stay in Warsaw, when her husband was in command in Poland. As she spent the summers in Savigny (1), it is there that I had to go and find her. I wrote to her Paris house to find out the most convenient time to visit her, and was told that it would be in the daytime. So I went to Savigny on a broiling hot day, little protected from the sun by a very small hat adorned with violets, and very uncomfortable in my lilac booties perfectly matched with a high dress in taffeta in the same color; - Madame Germont, the oracle of fashion, had herself arranged my costume.

[...]

I had promised myself this would be a pleasant visit. The Maréchale's Paris residence had much impressed me with her taste and love of fashion, and I thought I would find her luxuriously settled in Savigny. I arrived at about three o'clock. The door of the chateau, which was encircled by a moat and an enclosure, was hermetically sealed. Tall grasses were growing in the moat; the chateau had the appearance of having been deserted for many years. My footman having finally found the doorbell, a little girl, rather ill-dressed, appeared, after a few minutes, to ask what was wanted.

- "Is Madame la Maréchale at home?"

- "Oh, but yes, they are there, and so is the Marshal," answered the little girl.

And she hurried to summon one of the servants of the chateau, who proceeded to follow her at a leisurely pace, adjusting his livery as he went.

I had myself announced, and huddling in the carriage, I waited for quite a while, wondering whether I should insist or whether I ought to simply leave a visiting card.

After a mere quarter of an hour, a manservant finally appeared at the door of my carriage and led me into a vast courtyard; he apologized for the slowness of the service, informing me without particular deference that at the moment I arrived, the household staff was working in the garden, and that he himself had been engaged in tidying the orchard.

I was led through several completely unfurnished salons; the room into which I was ushered was hardly more ornate than the previous ones, but at least it had a sofa and chairs! The Maréchale presently appeared. I could easily perceive that she had just dressed up for me, because she was still busy fastening some pins to her bodice. After a few minutes of languishing conversation, she pulled the bellcord so her husband could be apprised of my presence. She and I then resumed our awkward conversation. It is not that Madame Davout's manners were lacking, or that she was deprived of that sort of wit which facilitates exchages between people of similar backgrounds, but there was in her manner a kind of stiffness which might be mistaken for arrogance. She never forgot about the marshalate; never did a gracious smile enliven the features of her austerely beautiful face. [...]

The Marshal finally arrived, his haste reflected in his heavy perspiration; out of breath, he sat down and, using his pocket handkerchief to wipe his forehead, he moistened it with saliva in order to more efficiently remove the dust from his face. This casualness, a bit too soldierly, contrasted sharply with the starchy demeanor of his wife; she was noticeably annoyed about it. Finding myself de trop in this silent scene, I rose and tried to take my leave, but I was enjoined to stay for a mid-day meal. While waiting for this to be served, we went a walk in the grounds... There were no paths, the lawn was covered with high grass ready to be turned into haystacks, the trees, cut down during the Revolution, were growing back as scrub; I left shreds of my dress's ruffles on each bush, and my lilac booties had taken on a greenish tinge. The Marshal encouraged us by voice and by gesture with the promise of a charming surprise!... What disappointment when, at the bend of a clump of stripling oaks, we finally stood in front of three small wicker huts! The Duke went down on one knee and exclaimed:

- "Ah! here they are... here they are!..."

Then, modulating his voice:

- "Pi... pi... pi..."

And at once a swarm of partridges began to flutter around the Marshal’s head.

- "Don't let the others go out until the youngest have returned, and give the ladies some bread... They are going to enjoy themselves like queens", he said to a roughneck who was the gamekeeper.

And there we were, under scorching sunshine, feeding partridges!

With unruffled and imperturbable dignity, the Duchess emptied the basket of bread she had been given. I, on the other hand, came close to fainting, and this being beyond my endurance, I pointed out that clouds were moving in and that a storm threatened.

[...]

Once we had finished eating, I left in greatest haste, swearing to myself that this visit would not be repeated.

(1) Savigny-sur-Orge [this note appears in the original text]

https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/bpt6k5463019n/f278.item pp. 229-234.

So there went the Countess’s pleasant visit, just not quite as pleasant as foreseen. I confess that I share her feelings about the spit-moistened handkerchief. And I too have been in the excruciating position of trying to make conversation when there is nothing to converse about. But she did not expect to have her fancy dress shredded by unkempt scrub. All this while traipsing in uncomfortable booties ruined by grass stains, the reward for this being to witness Davout calling his partridges in a falsetto voice, and a final indignity, bringing her close to fainting (or was it the foot-pinching booties?): having to feed breadcrumbs to partridges, while being expected to have fun doing it. Pass the smelling salts.

The food must have been good, because she does not have a word of criticism about it. No word whatsoever about it, in fact. I suppose no artichokes were served.

My little finger tells me the Davouts were not sorry to see the back of her, unless her manners were so exquisite that she was able to feign delight through her visit. But then again there was this laboured conversation, so... no. They were glad she left.

#marshal davout #aimee davout #countess potocka #davout's country home

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foxerice · 4 years

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old guard au. old guard au

immortal bastards baby!!!

if you haven’t seen the old guard don’t worry this is basically an immortal foxes au

neil is 25 when he gets caught by his father. is tortured and killed.

then neil comes back to life :)

he doesn’t really understand what he is yet, but he’s pumped up on adrenaline and basically got the gist lol

his father doesn’t notice that he’s come back to life and that his injuries are gone

(because neil may be alive and healing slowly, but he is still in a very poorly lit basement, covered in blood, staying completely still, controlling his breathing)

as soon as his father unties him to dispose of the body, neil kills him, lola, and the rest.

he runs. full to the Brim with adrenaline and sheer glee.

the rest of the gang have a dream/vision of the moment neil died (this is how some of them found each other, by having a vision of a new persons moment of resurrection)

neil doesn’t know about any of the others (due to him being new) and ran away from the scene of the crime bc he has no idea what to do. his first priority is to somehow get new clothes? he doesn’t know. it’s been less than an hour. he’s trying very hard not to freak out.

the foxes (and jean) are split into 3 groups!

1 dan, matt, allison, seth and katelyn

2 andrew nicky and aaron

3 renee kevin and jean

(renee’s the eldest, dan and matt are second, then allison, seth and nicky, then andrew aaron and katelyn. the newest are jean and kevin (they happened like 2 weeks ago) and lastly there’s neil)

each of the groups know that the others exist, but haven’t met (i mean how often do you see someone in a dream for a split second and know where to go?) (also andrew isn’t interested in the rest of the foxes, other than renee)

renee knows all of the foxes and used to be part of dan’s group but is currently only keeping contact with andrew bc of a. disagreement

dan doesn’t know much about andrew’s group, the only thing she got out of renee was that they Really weren’t interested in them.

jean and kevin don’t know any of the rest, only renee. the three are on their way to meet andrews group.

kevin and jean found out they were immortal at the same time.

dan’s group had a vote and the majority voted against two new additions, so renee separated from them and immediately went for the boys by herself, letting andrew know she was after new guys.

the plan was for andrew and renee to meet up after she retrieved kevin and jean, which was like 2 weeks ago

guess how jean and kevin found out they were immortal. together. at the same time :)

SO the foxes see a vision of neil, in the basement. with a cheap shirt on that’s got BALTIMORE bedazzled on it. they take the hint.

by coincidence andrews group is the closest, renee is right behind (due to her group and andrews having the rendezvous)

dan’s group is a bit further away from neil but they’re getting there Fast

(all of them regret letting renee leave alone and are worried about her, so they go after neil thinking renee will probably be onto him too)

renee is Definitely after neil. she doesn’t know if andrew will keep him and doesn’t think it’s likely that dan’s group will go after him. either way she doesn’t want him to end up alone.

andrew is positive that dan’s group will be after neil and genuinely can’t be bothered to deal with their large group so he just wants to snatch neil + immediately make a run for it with renee

IN SHORT, all of the foxes are Very close (andrew’s group are travelling by maserati, dan’s have multiple cars, renee’s are train surfing or something of the sort)

so yes it becomes a race

nicky: the Who Gets The Pretty Boy First Race, or WGTPBFR for short.

aaron, newer than nicky and still sensitive: you watch a guy die and all you think about is how hot he is?

nicky, old as fuck and dead inside: did you see him, aaron? he was Yummy. Scrumptious, even—

andrew: what other reason is there for us to be going after him.

aaron and nicky: wait. wait what-

dan’s group with their 5 cars: (fast and furious soundtrack plays in the bg)

katelyn overtakes seth and he curses violently at her. she grins and sticks her hand out the window, flipping him off as she zooms past. seth decides that he will most definitely throttle her as soon as they reach baltimore

allison is at the front ofc there is no overtaking her.

matt and dan are in the back just in case someone crashes. again.

renee is trying very hard to be nice to these two french speaking bastards but God is testing her

kev: ok seriously how old are you

renee: i don’t know :)

kev: it is not POSSIBLE for you to be so old that you dont even know!!

jean: honestly how do you expect us to trust you if you wont even tell us—

renee: i honest to fucking God do not know :)

kev and jean, freaking out: stop LYING—

their group has been jumping trains and buses for like a week and a half. renee is at her wit's end. she feels like a tired mother driving a car while her two kids have violent tantrums in the back.

so ! andrews group is maybe one hour away. renee is three. dan is nine.

neil is sitting very still in a gas station bathroom.

someone knocks three times. neil unlocks the door. he’s handed a bag of clothes.

#if . anyones interested in this ill continue it but it got very long lol bnvbn #the foxhole court #aftg #tfc #neil is definitely a bit older here than in tfc maybe like 25? 26?#feels weird to have him any younger with how old andrew is bnmvbxm #the old guard au #thank u so much for this ceri i rlly had to get this Out bnmbmcv

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zmayadw · 3 years

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Evening to all :)

Allright, so after two days of terrible headache, one sleepless night, lots and lots of coffee, and constant tweeks of what I already had written, its time to continue with the story. Lets have some fun at the Aurora :)

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 8

We left the restauran and drove to Aurora. It was saturday night, but the bar wasnt that much filled with people yet. The Aurora was like most of the bars : booths wer on each side, tables towards the middle, but still leaving enough room for people to dance. The bar was on the opposite from the entrance with barstools arround it, a smaller stage and karaoke machine on the left, basement/storage entrance on the right, with big TV above it. Since Jessy's brother Phil was the owner of Aurora, we had a booth waitng for us. We settled at our booth, and i got up to get us drinks, since they refused to let me chip in for the dinner. Dan decided its still too early for whiskey, but emphasised that at some point in the evening we're having it. Jessy just groaned at that, and i chuckled going to the bar ordering us beers. As i was waitig, a guy appeared behind the bar „Put this on the house, Dave. Cant let her pay for her first drink here.“ As i turned ,he winked at me, setteling down a box with bottles on the counter. „Hello, Phil.“ I smiled at him „And thansk for the drinks.“ He extended his hand towards me, and i did the same. He took it, moved it towards his lips, giving me one of those cavalier kiss on it „Hello, Maya, nice to finaly meet you.“ I felt a little heat coming to my cheeks. Phil really was a charmer, as i was told, especially from Jessy, but i must admit he wasnt bad looking. He had a long brown hair, mostly worn in a tail. His eyes wer dark brown, and he was tall and muscaline. He was wearing a white shirt with the Aurora written on it, wich just made his tattoos more noticable. I was a sucker for tattoos. „Do all girls get such a charming 'hello' from you here?“ i asked teasingly. He grinned devilishly „Just the special ones.“ „I got warned about you, trying to sweet talk me.“ I grinned back. „Can you blame me? I'm a sucker for a beautifull woman.“ I felt even more heat coming to my cheeks, and was greatfull the light wernt that bright, so noone would notice, especialy Phil. It felt good, being flirted like this, but i didnt want to give Phil any wrong ideas. I knew from Jessy that he was interested in me, and to be honest, if Jake was out of the picture, it might be different. „Thanks for the compliment! But, i have to warn you, i might not be a good choice.“ I said, making a serious face, leaning a bit closer towards him over the bar, wich made him do the same. „I was told i was reckles and out of control, kinda hard to handle, stressing people too much.“ He looked at me, that devilish spark in his eyes intensifieing „Well, Maya, maybe you just havent met your match..yet.“ „Maybe.“ I replied, leaning back, smile forming at the corner of my mouth. We just stared at eachother like that for a while, Phils gaze intensifing with each moment. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, and i was really confused about it. What was happening here? Ok, Phil was good looking, but Jake was the one i was longing for. Wasnt he? „Well, as much as i'm enjoying talking to you, i better get those beers over to my friends.“ He glanced towards our booth „You just might need some more beer.“ I turned to see what was it that he refered to, and saw the whole gang showed up while we wer talking. Including Jake. I was glad to see him, i didnt really think this was a place he would feel comfortable being at, but i supposed Hannah made him come. I heard from Jessy they wer spending much time together, the three of them, wich wasnt to be unexpected. He was their halfbrother after all, they wanted to get to know eacother better. And Hannah made him stay at her appartment since he came to Duskwood. And then i noticed Jake staring, but it wasnt me he was staring at, but Phil. Oh boy, i tought, can my life be simple for just one evening. I turned to Phil, sighing „I guess your right.“ I took the beers, slowely moving from the bar, walking backwards. „Oh, and i have a feeling i might need something stronger soon, so keep a glass close for me.“ I said skeptical, but Phil just grined and winked „I'll be right here with that glass ready.“

As i neared the booth, putting on my best smile, they all stood up cheering. I settled the beers on the table, Hannah embracing me in a tight hug, with Thomas grining behind her. „Its so good to finaly do this.“ She said. „Its good to see you , Hannah.“ I said, hugging her back. Hannah let go of me, and now it was Cleo's turn. „Dont you scare us like that anymore, you hear me!“ she scolded me before smiling „I promise.“ She let go of me, and they all sat back. I grabbe myself a chair from the table near us, since the booth was full now. As i sat down, i glanced at Jake. He smiled and nooded at me, and i smiled back. Lily was just siting there, barely sparing me a look. I tried not to take it too personal, from the begining she wasnt that much fond of me, and the feeling is mutual. „So, how are you feeling?“ Hannah asked me. „Oh, im much better, thanks for asking. Few more days and i'll be back to my old self.“ I told her, as a waiter, Dave , came to our booth, bringing five more beers. I turned towards the bar. Phil just winked at me, and continued about his business. I noticed Jake saw that also, his body tensing a bit. „Thats good to hear.“ Hannah siad, and Dan chimed in „I'll drink to that!“ raising his glass towards me. I got my glass and added cheerfuly to him „Me too!“ Now Lily finaly spoke „Good thing it ended as it did, we could all be drinking our sorrow instead.“ I tensed at her words, a bit of rage forming in me, but Hannah jumped in before i could say anything. „Lily, stop it. We are all aware of how things might ended, no need to emphasising it anymore.“ She sounded tired saying it, i got a feeling this wasnt the first time the two of them had a similar conversation. „Im sorry, Hannah“ Lily continued „but you know how i feel. Maya's actions could have terrible consequencess, and i dont see what is there to celebrate.“ „How about me being here, Lily? Is that good enough reason for you?“ Hannah asked, but Lily just sat there silently. I couldnt be quiet anymore. „Im sorry you feel that way Lily.“ I started. „I expected you to be more happy now that Hannah is back. Yes, i made some mistakes, i know. But we all do mistakes, Lily, you should know it all too well.“ She shot me such a angry look when i said it. It wasnt my intention to start a fight with her or anything, i knew all too well how badly all of it could have ended, but i was also tired of it being dragged out constantly. „My sister could have died!“ Lily basicly screamed, wich made few people arround us turn to see what was happening. „Lily, enough!“ Hannah started, but i really had enough, and my head started to hurt a bit now. „Your sister could have died eitherway, Lily“ i said basicly hissing at her „No matter what i might have or might have not done. At least i had the guts to act, and would do the same all over again if i had to, gladly. Luckily, things turned out for the better. You should be happy about it, and stop dwelling on the 'what if's'. If you cant do that, to just be happy you got your sister back, then for fuck sake i dont know what more to say to you.“ As i finished, you could feel the tension gathering around. „Sorry all, but i need something stronger to drink.“ I stood up going for the bar.

Phil came as i sat on one of the stools, rasing his eyebrow „My, my, you wernt wrong about needing that drink. So, whats your poison?“ he asked me grining. „Oh, whatever you grab first, as long as it washes the bitternes out.“ I said, feeling that rage not setteling, and my head throbing some more. He grabbed two shot glasses, pouring both with whiskey. „Dont mind if i join you.“ He said, rising one of the glasses. I grinned, taking my glass knocking it at his „Its no fun drinking alone, anyway!“ „Bottoms up!“ he chimed, and we exed our gasses. „One more, please, the bitter taste is still not washed completly.“ „Comming right up!“ he said cheerfuly, filled both again, and we drank those too. Someone patted me on my shoulder, and i turned to see Dan standing next to me. „Aww, Maya, you started without me.“ He said, being dramatic and acting hurt. „Aww, sorry Dan“ i said making a sad face „You cant really blame me, after all that just happened back there.“ „Point taken“ he said, sitting next to me. I turned towards the booth. Jessy, Cleo, Thomas and Hannah wer still there. I could see they didnt seem much affected by any of what just happened. But Lily was gone. And so was Jake. Great, i tought. The night began so nicely, i guess it was too good to last. „Well, Dan, feel free to join us now. The more, the merrier.“ I turned to Phil. „Barkeep, antoher glass for my 'nonjudgemental' friend here, please.“ Phil grinned, taking one more glass and filling them all again „The lady commands, the lady gets!“ Now the three of us chinned our glasses, and drank up. „Phil, i think you and I will be very good friends.“ I started „Since i assume you are not theirs most likable person of all time.“ i waved my hand towards the booth. „And i suppose as of now, i might join that club, too.“ Phil looked at me, a bit sirious „I told you once before, Maya. Everyone gets the exactly right ammount of respect from me as deserved. I dont bother with the tought if im 'likable' to someone or not. You dont mess with me, and i dont mess with you, its simple as that.“ „Amen to that!“ It was Dan, and both Phil and me looked at him, not really expecting it. I started laughing so hard „Oh, Dan, thanks, i needed this.“ „What?“ Dan looked at me, question marks written all over his face. Phil just shook his head, lowering it down, hiding himself smiling too, filling our glasses again, and drinking his up. „If you two would excuse me, i actually have some work to do.“ He winked at me as he left. „Be careful Maya, Phil is a player.“ Dan told me a bit serious. „Dont worry, Dan, i'm a big girl, i can take care of myself. So, tell me, how much am i hated at the moment amongst the others?“ i asked him. „Dont worry, Maya, nobody hates you, trust me. But you gotta understand Lily. She really was scared for Hannah, and she tought she was doing her best.“ He paused for a while before adding „Just like you did.“ I looked at Dan, and tought 'shit, he has a point there'. „Ah, crap, Dan, why you have to be so 'smartypants' all of a sudden?!“ He chuckled at me „Look, both of you did what you did, and it ended how it did. Even if you dont see it, you both expected the same result. Just your ways of trying to acomplish it wer totaly different. And thats where all hell broke loose.“ I knew Dan was right, but i tought Lily would be at least a bit happier for having Hannah back, and not to be all bitchy about it, clinging so tightly on all the things that could go wrong. „All right, enough with this serious talk. I tought we came here to drink.“ I started, but added quickly so Dan dont feel me being ungrateful „But, thanks Dan. I understand what you wanted to say to me. I will keep it in mind, for the next time.“ Dan smiled and noded at me. I took a sip of my whiskey, when there was another tap on my shoulder. It was Hannah „Hey, just wanted to say we're leaving. It was really nice seeing you, we should definatly do this again.“ She said, adding „When things cool down a bit.“ She gave me an appologetic look, „Yeah, definatly! And it was really nice seeing you two, Hannah.“ She hugged me „And dont take Lily by the heart, please. I know she can overreact sometimes, but she means well.“ „Dont worry, Hannah, i understand, its all good. Hope i wasnt too forward myself.“ Now i looked at her appologeticly. „Everything is good.“ She smiled „Take care, Maya, see you later.“ „Laters you two.“ I waved at Hannah and Thomas as they left. Cleao and Jessy joined us at the bar. „Uhh, that was fun.“ Cleo said. „Indeed. Not really my definition of a 'fun night' i expected.“ „Dont worry, Maya. Lily is just a hard person sometimes, a bit overprotective, too. She will calm down, eventualy.“ Cleo told me, to wich I replied a bit skeptical „ So everyone tells me.“ Phil came to us, taking two new glasses „C'mon you sad lot, enough with it. I tought we wer celebrating a 'new girl in town'!“ he said cheerfuly, winking at me, filling all the glasses up, handing one for Jessy and Cleo. Jessy groaned at it, scolding Phil „Ohh, dont encourage this two, Phil“ she said, pointing at Dan and me „I'm the one who will have to endure them for the rest of our evening, with all that whiskey in them. And we all know Dan and whiskey doesnt end well.“ „Hey babe, dont be like that!“ Dan said to her, in that dramatical and hurt way he does, making Cleo and me laugh. „See, it already started.“ Jessy said, leaning her elbovs on the bar, sighing sadly, now she trying to be dramatic. „Awwww babe, i promise i'll behave.“ Dan said, pecking her on the cheek. „You better behave..remember, im the one you're going home with.“ She told him, giving him one of her serious looks. Phil was just taking a sip of his drink, and hearing Jessy say it laughed so hard that he spat his drink out. Cleo and me laughed with him, but Dan looked at Jessy all pale„Yes, ma'am!“. I took my glass, raising it „Last one? Then we get beer again.“ Jessy looked at me „Deal!“, the rest of them taking their glasses and we drank. „That's it for me“ Cleo said „I'll be going now. Have to be early at the Gates of Hope tomorrow. And you all know how my mother can be if its not her way.“ She said shuddering a bit at it. „Ohh, we dont want to get Miranda cross at you, or any of us.“ Jessy said, giving Cleo a look of symphaty. Cleo hugged me „It was nice seeing you, Maya. We should definatly do this again, soon. And i promise i wont leave so early next time.“ „No worrys, Cleo, thanks for coming anyway.“ I said, smiling back at her. She waved us goodby and left. We ordered some beer then, as i promised Jessy no more whiskey. „Sorry, Maya, i really didnt think this will go so badly.“ Jessy looked at me appologeticaly. „Oh, dont sweat it, Jessy“ i grinned at her „Im having more fun with just the two of you, anyway.“ She grinned back, when Phil looked at me, making a sad face, mimicing Dan's hurt gesture „Awww, and what about me, i dont belong in this 'fun club'?“ I looked at him and winked „We have our special 'secret club', remember?“ That made Jessy switch her look from Phil too me, all puzzled, but Phil just grined devilishly at me, winking „We sure do.“ Jessy turned to Phil now, making a serious face, waving her finger at him „Phil, you better behave! Maya is not a 'toy' to play with and throw away after it.“ I jumped in, before Phil could say anything „Oh, dont worry, Jessy. Phil was nothing but a gentelmen towards me.“ Phil grined at her, makeing an aureola sign above his head with his hands, sugesting him being an angel. Jessy just snorted „Yeah, yeah, more like a 'devil in disguise'.“ „Im not sure who's the 'devil in disguise' here actualy.“ Phil said looking at me intensely, my cheeks flushing again.

#duskwood #duskwood aurora #duskwood phil #duskwood jessy #duskwood dan #duskwood fanfic

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lemonadelyric · 3 years

Note

2, 4, 5, 7, 11, 12, 13, 19, 20, 22, 23, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 43, 52, 53, 55, 56, 57, 58

SO MANY ASKS thank you anon!!! I'm sorry if some are some that are vague but thank you!!!

2. what would you name your future kids? I always liked the name Alexandria, but honestly I can't think of any other names??? I liked Skylar for a while too, but this friend of mine ruined that lmao

4. what are you looking forward to? IM LOOKING FORWARD TO READING MORE WARRIOR CATS and also to getting me and my bf's room cleaned up and moved around, and having his best friend over, and going out for SUSHI, and being able to play Rockband and everything!!!

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? MY PARTNERS and a lot of my friends!! I always say I couldn't be with someone who doesn't make me laugh, so it's great having friends that make me laugh too <3

7. what was your life like last year? About the same, stuck at home for the most part with my boyfriend. 2020 was nuts man. I also didn't know what to do with my life, and I'm slowly getting there. I think I have an idea but,,,, that's a secret.

11. are you listening to music right now? NOPE but it would probably be Montero tbh LOL

12. what is something you want right now? Hmmm.. My room cleaned up and moved around! FOR MY WINDOWS TO BE SEALED SO BUGS WILL STOP BOTHERING ME!

13. how do you feel right now? Pretty good! Bought everything I'm gonna need for a looooong time, all my time and energy will be spent reading, and saving money!! I've spent enough for a century x.x

19. have you ever been to New York? Never, how's the weather?

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? MONTERO but also a bunch of NSP songs haha

22. description of crush. You know.. I don't think I have any big crushes right now? Like maybe some platonic ones on friends cause they mean a lot to me, but like, there's no one I'm really crushing on right now!

23. fear(s) Spiders, stink bugs, thunder/lightning sometimes, tornados, falling (heights not so much, but falling, YES), and my loved ones leaving or dying :') big trigger lmao

25. role model Not sure if I really have one! I kind of just live by the motto of "be a good person" and bam, off I go

26. idol(s) Okay that's different: Markiplier, Ethan Nestor, Arin Hanson, Dan Avidan, Jennifer Aniston, John Krasinski, Lady Gaga, uhhh... Okay I have a lot but we'll stop there lol

28. i’ll love you if… You're funny, you care about me, you're honest, open-minded, NICE TO WORKERS, and we have a lot of the same interests c:

29. favourite film(s) O Brother Where Art Thou, You're Next, The Proposal, Fifty First Dates, and uh... probably a couple more I can't think of

30. favourite tv show(s) THE OFFICE, Friends, Zoo, Parks and Rec, and uhhh probably more but The Office is one I rewatch a LOT

31. 3 random facts About me? Uhhhh -I have slight sectoral heterochromia! Patches of amber in my eyes! -I'm half hispanic (Mexican!) My biological father was from Mexico with his family. He and my mom broke up before I was born, so I didn't like learn Spanish or anything from his side of the family. I grew up near Chicago though so I was around the culture a lot C: -I have all of the first Harry Potter movie memorized, along with the second one ^^;; My grandmother liked the series with me, so we both watched the movies a lot in the summers I spent with her!

33. something you want to learn Mostly languages!!! Toki Pona, Japanese, Spanish, probably more xD I'd also like to be more knowledgable about like playing instruments and such, I know how to play a little of the kalimba!!

35. favourite subject I loved English! Also psychology and like, social studies TwT I miss school sometimes

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? -I want to move out and live on my own with my partner(s) -I want a full time job I like -I want to achieve some sort of fame, something little, but something! (SOMETHING GOOD, PLEASE, UNIVERSE)

40. favourite memory Probably.. Okay it's dumb, but me getting my cat, Pixel! She means the world to me, and I love her so much!! I went to the shelter to adopt a cat, she wasn't even on my list, but when the shelter worker took her out of her cage and handed her to me, she immediately laid against my chest and purred and I cried and had to adopt her ;;w;;

41. relationship status In several relationships, and open to more ; ) (But not really looking, I got a lot on my plate haha)

42. favourite book(s) Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, the Warriors series by Erin Hunter, The Tairen Soul Series by C.L.Wilson, and the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R.Ward

43. favourite song ever OH that's a hard one! Hmmm.. I've always been a huge fan of Believe by Cher??

52. something i’m talented at I'd like to say I'm.. pretty good at picking up new things! Like crochet, knitting, and my kalimba, stuff like that! Also at teaching others C: I've been told I'm good at that a lot!

53. 5 things that make me happy -My cat, Pixel -My partners -My friends! -Animal Crossing -WARRIOR CATS

55. tumblr friends Okay I have a lot uuUUHHH okay I'll tag some people!

@disabled-bat-lover @chaoticgouda @fictionkin @bi-llcipher @thaliaisalesbian @colorfulblackk @xofemeraldstars @heartivore @boi-with-art-supplies @likelyvampirical @deepseachaos PROBABLY WAY MORE IM SO SORRY IF I DONT TAG YOU

56. favourite food(s) Pizza, waffles, tacos, soda, string cheese, Iiii think that's it for now!

57. favourite animal(s) FOXES, bats, mice, dogs, cats, wolves, rats, opossums, uhh I think that's it?

58. description of my best friend Hmmm.. Is it cheesy to say my partners are my best friends? Other than that, uh, well she's very nice and understanding, trusts me, and we have a lot of the same humor. She's really supportive too and is really good about checking in. It's been great ;;o;;

Thank you anon, this was SO MANY QUESTIONS I loved it!!!

#anon #ask me #lyric answers #Anonymous

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thegreenerartist · 4 years

Text

Okay okay guys wait

Just I M A G I N E

The Foxhole Court,,, but set in the Philippines (they’ll all still be the same characters but it’ll just take place in the Philippines!)

The Filipino & Filipina Foxes!

Okay so Neil is still on the run, with 5 mil ($) in his pocket, but think about it. There are 7,641 islands. 7,641. His father would have absolute HELL trying to find him and his mother (until she died oop) (probably somewhere where they are trying to sneak into Luzon?) So then Nathan will be stationed, not in Baltimore, but maybe somewhere in Luzon (it being the central island and all)

Neil would know how to speak English (universal language duh), Tagalog (common Filipino language) and maybe Ilongo? Or Ilocano? For Luzon, but then he’ll probably know the common languages too, like Bisaya and Cebuano for Visayas, maybe he’ll know Arabic or Islamic for Mindanao? (I highlighted the ones I think he would most likely know, but most Filipino langauges tbh sound similar. Takes maybe a few months, weeks if you’re good, to learn a language like a native)

So idk how to segúé (how to even spell??) to him meeting the Foxes bUT HE GETS THERE

Soo let’s say the Cousins (yes thats their official tital no I don’t take critisism) know how to speak Arabic while Kevin is the one who speaks Bisaya. Everyone can speak English and Tagalog because Filipinos are taught English and Tagalog early on oop

Okay fine this will still be an Exy universe (but can yall imagine? Street basketball?)

They’ll probably be learning somewhere in Luzon, most likely NCR for plot because it’s probably where Nathan and his men are too

They meet and stuff, cool shenanigans

(Their backstories might be a tad rougher than in canon because,,, yeah. It happens here)

Okay so I just wanna get to the fun stuff, since that’s what I originally planned for this post

Nicky and Allison will deffo be like those ladies who wash clothes and gossip, i.e. spreading chismis

Nicky reminds me of the gays here that go “oH HEY MGA BES!”

Andrew is THAT dude who goes up to an ice cream guy and asks for, “Cornetto. The sweetest one you have”

He wouldnt like dirty ice cream. It’s too bland and milky, not sweet

Neil would fit right in. Everyone here wears shirts and pants/shorts. Some guys dont even bother putting a shirt on

Dan and Neil go bonding to the palengke (wet market) since most of the other foxes have been raised in middle class

Matt buys those birds in the cages so he can set them free like the good boy he is :)

Renee is a BOSS in chinese garter

Allison was the heir to,, idk probably something like SM or something

Aaron is every asian parents’ dream tbh

Also I love the idea of them getting houses since Filipino houses here look basic as heck but look SO authentic, as in yall could go, “wow that looks like a normal house” but then,,, yall would know. That’s a Filipino’s house right there

Everyone get’s THOSE houses where there are literal bars on the windows and the fence is so goddamn tall

Except for Kevin and Allison

Those two would get the classy stuff

Like Allison would probably be living in those houses that were during the Spanish Colonial Period (with Renee because duh)

Kevin will get a private resort or something somewhere in Boracay or Palawan or something (with no one because I fully support aro ace Kevin [ but bi Kevin is awesome too though don’t get me wrong {sorry Thea}])

I would love to propose the idea of Neil calling Andrew ‘mahal’ or ‘love’(THEY ARE MARRIED HERE LET ME LIVE) (ILL JUST SAY THEY GOT MARRIED IN THE US OKAY)

In the morning, when they wake up and Neil goes, “m’hal, pakibukas ung bintana” “love, can you open the blinds?”

(Fun fact, the prefix paki is a polite way of asking someone to do the action, the same way you say ‘may’, ‘can’ and ‘please’)

But then ‘mahal’ ALSO means ‘expensive’ in Tagalog. I find it funny because Andrew is truly, very, absolutely expensive

“My god napakamahal naman yan’ Drew’!”

“Oh my god Drew’, that’s so expensive!”

“mAy stAnDArdS akO excUSE Me!!11!”

“I have standards excuse me!”

“M A H A L ‘W A G”

“L O V E , N O”

I love the idea that they play basketball in their free time with neighbourhood kids, as in street basketball

It starts with Andrew and Neil

They were outside, holding hands (it’s ok Philippines isn’t SUPER homophobic) (and even if someone was stupid enough to talk them down, they have knives :)

And these,,, kids go up and be like, “laro?” “play?”

Because kids right?

And BOOM it becomes a thing (usually on their breaks :)

Renee joins because Peace Corps (actually no. She did it out of the kindness of her own heart)

Then Dan, Matt and Nicky wanted to join

Allison was dragged there by Renee

Katelyn wanted Aaron to come too

Kevin decided to go since it’s the off-season and he has nothing to do, yaba daba da he actually misses his foxes

He keeps mumbling, “buti pa kapag nilaro nila an Exy *grumble grumble*” “it would be better if the played Exy instead *grumble grumble*”

They are happy :D

Okay so yall know how Kevin is a health freak

So one day Andrew will eat one too many goSH DARN AICE AND KEVIN WILL HAVE A F I T

Andrew doesn’t care

Until he does

Kevin can go on and on about how unhealthy some foods are and blah blah blah

But yall cANNOT TELL ME that that boy does NOT eat those streetfoods

Im talking about fishballs, squidballs, siomai, tokneneng, ALL OF THAT JAZZ

(That’s what happens when yall let a person who never played in the neighbourhood try streetfood) (they get OBSESSED) (I can tell from experience lol)

Then Andrew keeps that footage for blackmail

Just imagine. Kevin Day. Eating. The oiliest. The most unhealthy. Goddamn streetfood

I’ll probably make more :P it was fun to write this!

I would love it if this were liked and reblogged 🥺👉👈 I would appreciate that very much because I spent some time on this and I need validation 🥺🥺

#aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg headcanon #tfc headcanon #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #akin #andreil #renison #aftg philippines

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elyhaikyuu · 4 years

Text

JUST A TRANSFEREE

Tsukishima Kei x OC

Chapter 03: LA VIE EN ROSE

(Masterlist) [prev] [next]

×××××××××××××××××××××

3rd Person's POV:

Kiyoko was strolling around the 1st years floor when she heard someone calling her.

"SHIMIZU-SENPAI!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Oh Hinata, I'm just looking for someone who haven't join any clubs yet." She said to the energetic boy.

"OHHH, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO APPLY BEING A MANAGER?" Hinata asked his senpai, tilting his head.

"Yes, you know we are graduating soon, and I think that it's better to have a manager now so I can teach her." Kiyoko explained.

"I CAN HELP YOU SENPAI! IF I FOUND SOMEONE, I'LL TELL YOU IMMEDIATELY!" Hinata said enthusiastically.

"Thank you Hinata! I'll be going now, see you." Kiyoko thanked him and continued finding a person.

-Timeskip-

'Uwahh! She's so pretty!' Yachi thought while looking at the third year talking to her.

"So, why don't we try a trial membership?" The third year said to her, oblivious that she's not listening.

'WAIT! WHAT DID SHE SAID?!?! I'M SO BUSY LOOKING AT HER, I FORGOT TO LISTEN!!!' Yachi thought hysterically.

"Huh!? YES SURE!" She agreed not knowing what this is all about.

"Really!? Thank you so much!" Kiyoko said holding her hand in the process.

"Uhm, I have a friend who also haven't join any clubs yet. I can ask her too if you want." She said, remembering Akemi.

"Oh, of course! I'll just come later and you both can introduce yourself to the club. Thanks and see you later!" She said bidding her farewell.

"Bye." She said smiling awkwardly.

-Another Timeskip-

Akemi was on her way to have lunch at the rooftop. Yachi was not with her because it's her turn to help the teacher with paperworks, so she decided to have lunch there since she knew there's no one there right now.

She reached her destination and sat in the shade, away from the sunlight. She take out her bento which is fulled with rice with a marinated meat that is her left-over dinner last night, a salad on the side and fruits.

She started eating while looking at the sky.

'It's a nice day, huh?' She thought, smiling a little bit.

She continued eating until she's full. She tucked in her bento in a handkerchief and let it down beside her.

Akemi brought her ukulele today since Yachi found out that she knows how to play. She requested to play her some songs that's why she brought it today. But since Yachi was not here, might as well play a song to kill some time right? Since it's still not yet time and she's alone here.

She decided to play La Vie En Rose, french version.

(Listen to this while reading.)

(I know that this might not be a ukulele version, but if you want, click this video.)

youtube

Quand il me prend dans ses bras

Il me parle tout bas

Je vois la vie en rose

She starts singing, getting lost in her own world. Not paying attention to her surroundings.

Il me dit des mots d'amour

Des mots de tous les jours

Et ça me fait quelque chose

She doesn't notice someone opening the door. The person stopped when he heard her singing. The languange was unfamiliar but it's not the reason why the person was captivated. It's because of her voice.

Il est entré dans mon cœur

Une part de bonheur

Dont je connais la cause

He slowly walked towards the voice, afraid the person might stop singing when she heard him listening. He taked a peek and was shocked to see it's the transferee girl. She doesn't left his mind ever since he saw her.

'Why is everything captivating to her.' The person thought getting frustrated with his feelings.

C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie

Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie

Maybe it's not the right decision to come here. But then if he did not come, he'll probably not hear her sing. So maybe it's a good thing, right? Or maybe not because his feelings are somersaulting.

Et dès que je l'aperçois

Alors je sens en moi

Mon cœur qui bat

She finished singing and smiled a bit.

"I know there's someone there." She said looking at his direction.

"You're not very good at hiding, you know? Tsukishima Kei-san." She told him, standing up and walking towards him.

'Huh!? How did she know?! And wait, did she called me by my name?!?!?!' Tsukishima was panicking on the inside but on the outside, he doesn't looked bother at all.

"Ehh~ and how did you know my name?" Tsukishima teases her, smirking.

"I asked my friend who are you since you're staring at me the other day." She straightforwardly said, not getting affected by his teasing and looking straight at his eyes.

Tsukishima got stunned at her words. His ears reddened due to embarrassment. Akemi saw this and laugh a bit.

'Even her laugh is captivating, the hell.' Tsukishima thought.

"Don't worry about that Tsukishima-kun, it doesn't bother me. I'm Kudō Akemi by the way, nice to meet you." She said reassuring the guy, looking at her watch.

"Oh! It's almost time. We gotta hurry if we want to make it in time." She told him. Getting her things hurriedly.

She was about to get past him when he held her wrist.

"Tsukishima Kei." He said looking away from her.

She got surprised by what he said and smiled when she recovered from the shocked.

"Hmm. Let's go back now Tsukishima-kun."

They walked side by side. Smiling in their minds.

-It's another timeskip-

Yachi was fidgeting in her sit while Kakashi-sensei discusses. She doesn't know how to tell Akemi that she told Kiyoko-san that she doesn't have a club yet and that they are having a trial membership today.

Akemi notices her and asked her what's wrong.

"Hitoka-chan are you okay? Do you want me to tell Kakashi-sensei that you're not feeling well?" She asked, worried that something might have happened with her friend.

"Uh! It's not like that Akemi-chan! I'll just tell you later." She answered, not looking at her friend.

"O-okay." She asked still hesitant with her answer.

After their class, Yachi pulled Akemi in a corner. Akemi was confused with how her friend was acting. Yachi is still hesitant to say something, so Akemi decided to ask.

"So, can you tell me what's wrong?" She asked, examining her friend's expression.

"Uhh, please don't get mad at me Akemi-chan. I kinda did something without your permission." Yachi said lowering her head.

"And what is it?" Akemi asks, now curious with what she'd done.

"I-ah there was a senpai who talked to me about joining their club since I still don't have one. And I kinda told her that you also don't have one, and now we're having a trial membership today and I just told you! I'm so sorry Akemi-chan! I'm such a bad friend, I'll understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore!" She said teary-eyed. She's really ashamed of what she's done.

Akemi now understands what this is all about.

"Hitoka-chan it's okay. I understand why'd you do that. And I am thankful that you thought about me not joining a club. It's really fine. Yes, I know I don't really want to join one but it's still a trial membership right? So, it can't kill me if I come right? So it's really fine Hitoka-chan. And I still want to be friends with you." She said to her, explaining that it's really fine.

Yachi stared at her in bewilderment.

"AKEMI-CHAN!!!!" She exclaimed and cried, hugging her tightly.

"Now now, stop crying now Hitoka-chan." She comforts.

Yachi calmed down after a few minutes.

"Can you tell me which club is it now?" She asked her.

"It's the volleyball club. Kiyoko-san, the senpai who talked to me said that she'll come here after class and fetch us." Yachi told her.

"Oh, so it's right now. Guess we just have to wait then." She said looking around in hopes to find someone looking around.

'It's Tsukishima-kun and the others' club, eh? Well, guess it's just the way it is.' She thought leaning her back to the wall.

×××××××××××××××××××××

Hey guys! This is where chapter 03 ended. Hope you have fun reading and give me some feedbacks to improve my writings! Thank you guys so much, lovelots❣

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#kei x reader #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima kei x oc #tsukishima x reader #haikyū!!#hq tsukishima #tsukishima x you #detective conan

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tslasvegas · 3 years

Text

Episode 4: “I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty.” - Keegan

Dan and JAKE! A WORD IN MY OFFICE PLEASE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Wow! Today was A Day to say the least. I feel like boo boo the fool with how things went down today, but hopefully, I can recover from that now that there’s a new tribe. I’m excited to get to know new people, but sad to see my old alliances have to come to an end. I guess we’ll see what happens

Finally a swap and golly 5 OG Palazzo! I really hope this works in our favor. Kinda nervous for Joey and Stephanie tho because now they are in the minority of their tribe. I do hope they’ll find a way to survive till merge

LMFAO IM... watching the tribal council for the other tribe and I'm SORRY??? Who the fuck is Jake S he is the most condescending man I've ever seen in my entire life YIKES. Anyways this swap is nice.. I think I've got a good group, I really hope we win the next few immunities because I 1) really dont want to see Rachael on this tribe and 2) i want to try and rebuild my um. tattered relationships. I did the best I could in the challenge for tonight, I'll try to come back tomorrow a little more renewed cus I'm kinda wiped out from today's events. Now that my tribal council cherry has been popped for this Org its time to go crazy woop

So good not to check Luxor anymore!

youtube

Well last tribal went fine, I got to see what was in the Prize Vault which is awesome; now I have a better idea of the twist. Big problem though- Our swap put me in the minority. I was running Luxor and had a core 4, now they have 5 OG Pink so they can pluck us off, one at a time. I went from drivers seat to getting driven over. We need to win the challenge, so I'm gonna go ham in winterbells and hope to pull it out.

We swapped! I think I made a confessional already, but honestly I don't remember. I gave Livingston some of my chips so he can go visit the vault after the immunity challenge. We'll see what is in there and for how much, and maybe snatch up some real nice items to help us out. I've also got Andrew on my side, which is great and he's apparently quite tight with Pat, which is fantastic. Mo is a pretty decent dude and I've been talking with Jake a lot today. Things are going alright. I just hope we can win this challenge.

Phew, while the swap was not ideal. I was really liking my tribe, we were kind of quiet but individually everyone was great and we also kicked butt at challenges! Anyway, the swap with numbers wise not great, but I know Xavi from a previous game and we have a solid relationship, I hope he and John and Joey and myself can build a solid squad to make it to the merge. The challenge was rough tbh, I am not great at video games, but I think I did ok... Jaiden got like 20 trillion points on a game so really I have no idea how I did. Hoping for the best!

I am losing my mind in my personal life so I am sorry that I have been mia. I appreciate the patience from the hosts and my tribe. It makes me still want to play even though I've been kinda invisible. I'm aware of that. I'll fix it. I promise. Otherwise, its been pretty good as a tribe so far. Andrew, Pat, and NIk and i are all really close from other games, so we're good and Andrew and Pat and I are together, which is just really unfair if you ask me. I can't wait to start scheming!

Uhhhhhh.................................... anyways........ yall hear somethin? Oh I hear something. It's the sound of Joey literally blowing himself up to me hardcore!!!! The narcissism and arrogance really jumped out on this one. So Joey had the idea of calling tonight to go over some stuff and honestly out of the 2 hours we spent, I think about 45-60 mins of it was rather nice and I do feel that I enjoy his presence, but omg... his desire for control is so noticeable and its kinda gross. Joey and I debriefed on what went down on Bellagio and I totally understand why there was the difference in us discussing tribe dynamics - I had to give up all my info while he kinda kept things more reserved. I want to assume this is because of the fact that I went to tribal and he hasn't until now. I won't judge him for that. However, after this he's kinda like dictating the fact that an OG Bellagio needs to go home. Ben is the easier person to throw under the bus since he didn't even bother to do the challenge/let us know what's up. Not a big fan of that, but aight. Then Joey starts suggesting we vote out Kailyn...?? Uh... not on my watch. I have to make it up to Kailyn at least a little bit so even though she's probably got a loaded gun pointed at my head rn, I want to defuse the situation rather than start throwing her out there as a potential target. Even if it isn't coming from me, I'm not here for that. The information that Joey did give up to me relates to the chips in the game. I've never paid much attention to the chips, but I guess it takes 10 to get into the vault and Joey's got between 11 and 15 (he changed his answer on the subject SEVERAL times). He says there are three idols worth 40 chips each, then a super idol worth I think 50 or 60 (can't remember). On top of that, there are nullifiers, vote advantages, and a legacy advantage, too. He seems fixated on the legacy advantage and really wants the chips to get it. Like.. ok do you but we NEED the super idol?? Does he not realize that thing has more power than anything else in the vault combined..? ANYWAYS. What really started to turn me off about Joey is that there was this sudden expectation that I'd be giving him all of my chips thus far. I don't care about them to begin with but knowing what I know now, it doesn't make sense for me to give him my stash just to fuel his hunt for... a measly legacy advantage... I put myself in a compromising position. I told him that once a host gets back to me on my exact total, I'd be willing to trade him my chips for I guess an allyship going forward. I mean that. I want to work with Joey at least through this vote, but I can't guarantee that it'll go much further than that. He is a very risky person for my game right now because if he's coming off this strong to everybody, it's only going to hurt me by association to stick with him longer than a vote or two. However, I'm going to try and divert the attention and just be like, maybe we need to use my five as a bartering piece for new allies at this point. I want to try and build meaningful partnerships right now, especially since that was the only reason I wanted to make it to the merge.. Rebuilding is crucial as well. Kailyn and possibly Nik/Rachael are not going to be fond of me once we all have "the talk" about last tribal. I put myself in an even more compromising position with them, but I'll find my way out of that mess. I think........ As far as this tribe goes, I think between Joey's WILD imagination/constant over-analyzing and the lack of direction this tribe has taken so far.. I'm doing okay. Nobody is really standing out besides Joey and I guess myself in a way, so if I keep him around it MIGHT even shrink my own target little by little - unless people find out we're together then FUK.

......five seconds later

In terms of my other relationships right now, I love John Coffey but this is old news, I've been in love with this man since like 2016 and it's fine - totally fine - just fangirling a bit rn since I get to spend more time with him!! woohoo. Xavier and Stephanie are straight up non-entities which makes me SO scared of them especially since Stephanie's won an ORG before... how can someone be so irrelevant yet still win something? Hmm... Makes me think that she's secretly a ninja, you never even see her around. Nik has grown more and more quiet as the days go along and I wonder what's goin' on with that. Maybe they've decided since Biden won the election that moving to New Zealand is a bad idea? Lmfao. I dunno. Nik stresses me the hell out because I have no idea what they're thinking at any point in time even in the off-chance that we are talking. I think I might just have a personality they don't mesh with because I noticed on call forever ago that none of my jokes were particularly landing but Nik had a lot to say and a LOT to joke about there... rip. If it's a personality conflict - go off, I guess. I'll try on a couple different hats w this person to try and see if I can get things to go better than they have been. Kailyn.. like I said before, pretty sure she's after me but I am really trying to sell it to her that I like her a lot, because I do. I literally compare her to my best friend irl because they have very similar attributes and I consider Kailyn kinda messy but fun and quirky like my BFF so I hope that Kailyn did truly appreciate me making that comparison. Ben's inability to do this challenge is going to be his undoing. I think the only acceptable move is to vote him off this time because I HAVE to prove to Kailyn that I can stay the course, and I also need to whittle down Bellagio numbers to prevent people from targeting us and having everything go to shit that way. Let Joey control this, please dear god. Don't let me get blood on my hands. Let Rachael integrate herself well on this tribe. Let someone else blow themselves up in the process. Just not me plz and thanks. There is no fear in my soul tonight. Joey might be a fucking crackhead but so am I. I'm breaking down walls that I didn't think existed but Joey basically told me tonight that he thought I was confrontational, rude, chaotic, and all these other things but was impressed at how calm, optimistic, and outgoing I was. Love to hear it. He might think he overestimated me but he was right about the initial impressions... too bad he won't be around long enough to see that side of me :~)

FIRSTLY, DeNara was robbed. Okay so I already wrote this a while ago in my host chat about how the fact jake and dan are praying for my downfall because after the swap i am the only og bellagio on a tribe with 5 palazzo and 2 luxor. so after I slowly blinked at my screen for a bit I was like okay how do we survive this if I go to tribal. Because I’m under the impression tribes are gonna stick together especially going into merge but since Luxor is already down so many members it’s kinda Bellagio Vs. Palazzo. but then I was like okay wait I’m the only member of bellagio on this tribe after coming from a tribal so I’m the only one who can say what happened and I can create what narrative I want to help me get through the next couple rounds. Because if I was like oh blah blah I was in majority im so fucked then of course they’re gonna target me to get me out. But if I play the victim card and milk the fact that I voted in the minority acting like I hate my og tribe maybe they’ll think to use me as a pawn. To take down others moving forward. Listen if I have to be labeled a goat to move forward then BAA bitch.

.....five seconds later

Things are going good, because not only am no longer in danger this round but that means Rachael is going to the enemy tribe which if she came to our tribe that might’ve disrupted the narrative I had going of me being against og bellagio. Also DeNara should still be here, don’t think I didn’t clock the fact that Ben scored a 0. I also found out from Andrew that Rachael and Ben are apart of the same Tengaged group which explains why Rachael was so set on Ben staying but like, listen, if I end up in a game with someone I’m friends with, and they’re not active and helping the tribe. Good riddance.

What the. We lost yet again. I have lost everything since the start of the game. It's crazy. There are 4 from Bellagio, 2 Palazzo and 2 Luxor. 2+2 seems like an obvious plan, but it looks like it is falling apart already (read: Joey). Sucks to be across the world, so instead of scheming, I'll be sleeping.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. is the same as I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty.

The swap did happen. Expected it. Glad we won this first challenge in this new tribe tho in worried for Stephanie and Joey

Vault Shenanigans - Holy shit I did not expect this to be as powerful as it is. I was preparing myself for some sort of payment based search system, but being able to straight up buy the items I want, but its also the same for other people. I had a misconception at how generous the wheel was so I'm probably behind some people with the amount of chips, but I could very well start scooping up some of the steal votes and just say "see ya" to the idols, although getting a super idol would be very wild, it still seems risky to hold out that long to get it, even though there's a great amount of power associated with it. The other issue with a super idol is that I think that its very likely that if I get into a position where I need to use it, that I lose a lot of respect with the jury if it does happen. The only benefit from actually having it would be that I no longer have to worry about someone else whipping it out, so it'd be less for me wanting it, but more for others not having it. As of now, I think my optimal play is to hold on to my chips until around ~40, and then buy both vote steals at once, OR go all out for the super if someone has already bought an idol by that point, because I would be operating under the assumption that the frontrunner is already out of the running. Tribe Swap Shenanigans - This is a hell of a tribe swap. 5-2-1 is always a great spot to be in, I am already good within the 5 that I have so I don't have to worry about anything there, it should be relatively smooth sailing as far as getting to the merge. Mo/Jake are alright so far, neither particularly speak too much. Kevin has not reached out at all, probably will try to talk to him tonight for general purposes, even if he seems like he'd be an easy one to get out first should we go to tribal the next time. But generally I really don't plan on losing so it's kind of a wash. I'll take the smooth sailing, easy path to merge. Premerge is never as relevant as merge is when it comes to FTC as long as you have something to show for yourself at the merge. I've got all game to make my presence known, and I plan on using the entirety of the game to do so.

I feel super anxious today because even though I had a great conversation and built a good connection to Joey, there hasn't been any talk about the vote quite yet. I mean obviously names have rolled out but nothing solid is out there still, I think I just need to let go of the urgency for a name to start being spread early on and just let things be. Stephanie and I have been chatting a bit here and there today so I feel more comfortable with her and hopefully she sees things from a similar perspective as everyone else - the Bellagio foursome needs to get broken up right now. As long as it's not my name of course!!!!! Plz vote Ben @everyone. Or Kailyn tbh save me a little bit of trouble now. Talking to Xavier is SO HARD LMAO. He doesn't immediately contribute information into a conversation and as bad as I wanna get rid of Ben, I almost..almost think going for Xavier is the smarter move, since Xavier doesn't seem too motivated to actually get to know ME and work with me. I'm selfish that way. Kailyn doesn't seem like she wants to do Ben which is a little frustrating but I totally get it, if Ben stays he's going to go after her hardcore but like she needs to actually pitch me an alternative lmfao. I don't wanna go bending over backwards just to appease her right now so if she doesn't gimme a name.. sorry sis but then I think it's gonna be Joey's call on this one :/

I am being very cautious now. The 4 of us (me, John, Joey and Steph) are going to vote together. Now Jaiden wants to vote Nik. And Kailyn wants to vote Ben. Why can't we just agree on one?! And it always has to go down to the wire. Stick together, people!

I think I am possibly leading the charge against Nik rn?? Joey told me he wanted Ben and then I told him I wanted Nik and now he wants Nik LOL take that Stephen

Okay well I have no idea what's going to happen tonight, but I'm going into tribal not afraid of the vote I am probably going to have to make ... I think the best move is to just vote for Nik and be done with it, but it's going to cause a serious rift in a lot of my relationships if I do so. I've been super wishy-washy to a lot of people I think and right now it doesn't make sense to continuously do one thing when I mean another.. especially since there seems to be zero ground to move upon when it comes to getting the vote to turn from Nik to Ben. Nik doesn't even SEEM ACTIVE?? Why are we making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Ben can't just walk around deciding what's going on and I think Kailyn would prefer to keep Nik around rather than Ben but it's like... so push for Ben to be the target hun! She's feeding into someone else's move no matter what she does, it's either Ben's agenda or John's agenda. Pick a side, but pick the side I'm on, too. Why don't we just vote for Kailyn tbh. lmao

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2ugars · 5 years

Text

ੈ♡˳ high school senior!hyuck + soccer player!hyuck all in one!!!!

ps - the high school that i’m basing off their high school is mine, which is an international american curriculum high school that has like . a very small hs population.

a lovable and troublemaker senior who interacts quite a lot w his underclassmen — a bit too much than what’s probably considered necessary

he’s always been loud n friendly even before senior year but for some reason it? sky-rocketed?

u would expect seniors to stop tryin to make friends n stuff because they’ll have to leave for college at the end of the year nyways……

but NOPE

donghyuck’s a whole other species so he. .

makes friends .

A Lot of them

some of them r accidental on the other person’s part

there was this one time where hyuck forgot his pencil case and he was asking around

and some guy in junior year was like Here u go!!!!give it back to me after school or smth :)

as promised,, donghyuck Forgot to give it to him after school but he DID give it back the morning after w a bunch of teabags

donghyuck: some tea 2 relieve ur stress! also !!!!!!! U r invited to my bday party :)

donghyuck: and my future wedding

donghyuck :D

junior: Whjat

hyuck’s that one senior who somehow knows everyone’s names?

he’s crazy

the type to say people’s names whenever he converses w them

he does it to seem closer nd to put them at ease? in a way?

has a unique handshake w 75% of the high school population

how does he remember all of that

muscle memory???????? who knows at this point

someone raised their hand during class and he flinched in his seat because he Really Wanted To Do The Handshake w them

he wouldn’t call it popularity, how a lot of people know him

“they’re just . familiar w me,” he would tell jeno

“that’s called popularity u idiot”

“n . No”

it takes him a while to let it sink in that he IS popular but he still doesnt like to call himself that since he thinks it’s awkward nd a lil off-puttinng

so he just calls himself annoying in the end lmao

“i realized,” he rells renjun one day, “that i’m most likely the most annoying senior ever. more than mark was, even, and that’s saying a lot!”

renjun hums to show that he’s listening when, really, he’s not

“it’s the perfect plan,” donghyuck continues. “i get all of them to love me this year, and when i leave, the entire secondary school will have no choice but to mourn my absence—“

“was that your plan all along?” jaemin interjects with a laugh

“of course not. the kids love me without me having to try much. but it’s a pretty good plan! i could pass it down to chenle, or something.”

renjun later tells chenle to continue to never listen to hyuck

chenle, although puzzled, agrees

hyuck’s in varsity boys’ soccer as midfield

what u would call a hidden leader

was originally appointed captain by the coach but turned it down almost immediately

Hates disappointing people

especially people who are depending and relying on him

he isn’t sure he’s ready for that much weight, being an official leader

however when the ream found out he turned down the position of captain, they made him vice-captain next to sunwoo

donghyuck: “i won but at what cost”

mood maker of the team

screams a lot on the bench in the times when he’s pulled from the field to take a break

“U GO FELIX”

“LOOK AT MY BOYS GO!?!??!?!?!”

“OOF them THIGHS”

“JEEOOONNGGGIIIIINNNN that’s my little boy. Wow. i think im tearing up”

does this not only in games but in practices !

hes quite a chatterbox

please shut him up

i’m kidding please don’t

“look alive guys!!!!!! last one to run ladders buys sushi!!!!!!”

usually ends upbeing the last one

he says he does it on purpose

he’s lying he hates running ladders

“SPREAD OUT I NEED YALL LIKE A SMOOTH LAYER OF BUTTER ON TOAST! THAT MEANS NOT CLUMPED!”

he joked that if it weren’t for soccer, he’d be on the cheer squad

won mvp in junior year and the sportsmanship award for three years running

NOT ONLY DID HE WIN SOME SPORTS AWARDS.......

HHE ALSO WO N!!!!!!!!the hearts of the middle school boys’ soccer team

it’s because he’s the coach assistant during the ms soccer season

he started coaching in his freshman year

surprisingly gets shy when the boys, in all their wide-eyed awe n wonder, call him Coach Donghyuck

“nnnnnnnNNNNNOOOO O OO O Dont say that call me hyuck instead omg plwase. NO SIAN DONT CALL ME COACJ NO”

to hyuck’s confusion and jaemin’s pure delight, hyuck’s managed to steal the hearts of the middle school girls’ soccer team as well??

he took some chopsticks from the school cafeteria because he forgot his own at home

when he finished eating lunch, he didn’t want to go all the way to the tray drop-off since it was so far from where he and the dreamies sat

and renjun’s being more annoying than usual that day and is purposely making hyuck to hurry the HECK up so that they could do some modern language homework

of course, hyuck is lazy and doesn’t want to walk that far, renjun, gosh dan g it

so he goes to a middle school girl he’s had a few random, short convos with in his bus and... .. .

“hi louise! is it okay if i place my chopsticks here for you to take it to the tray drop-off?”

the young girl startles but at the sight of donghyuck, she smiles brightly. “oh, hi, coach!”

her greeting sparks up excited hi’s and hello’s from the other girls that donghyuck acknowledges with a smile of his own

(he doesn’t bother correcting them about the title)

(he knows that no matter how many times he’ll gently scold them into not calling him coach, they’ll still persist without fail)

(so he takes it in, albeit reluctantly and with his ears turning red every time)

“that’s totally fine!” louise says.

“thaaank you!” he sings, placing it neatly beside her plate. “you’re the best. see you in practice!”

and honestly

the reason why the middle school girls love him is because he stayed after school to study one day

and when he was done, he watched one of their games that was on the home field

he was on the sidelines shouting encouragements and generally just . Screaming his lungs out

you could probably imagine how the opponent team wa s thoroughly confused as to who the boy was and why exactly he was shrieking bloody murder

after the team won, he walked over to their team huddle and, after asking permission of their coach, gave them high fives and praised them and gave them light-hearted pointers before giving them a huge HUGE smile

yeah

apparently that’s enough to have a whole armada of boys and girls willingly take your chopsticks to the tray drop-off after lunch

he likes to brag about it every once in a while

anyways hyuck is just

a really good and nice senior

who the underclassmen respect and appreciate lots

when the seniors graduate, hyuck hides his tears by laughing so much

like it’s kind of concerning how much he’s laughing renjun thinks the boy’s going to choke on his spit at this point hyuck please sto p laughign

NOTHING FUNNY IS EVEN HAPPENING HYUKC PELAS E

like hyuck started laughing when the closing speech of the graduation ceremony begun

the boys thought it was because he probably farted or heard someone else fart since he was trying so hard not to make a sound

liek all you could hear coming from hyuck was wheezing and little hiccups

and jaemin, who was sitting next to him, had to pinch hyuck’s thigh constantly with how violently he’s shaking with silent laughter

hyuck was covering his face the entire time and jaemin, widely grinning, finally pried his hands away

only his grin slowly wavered when he saw the other boy’s face

jaemin: “oh”

renjun: “what do you mean oh? the teachers are looking at us, we might not even be able to graduate if he keeps laughing, shut him u—”

there wwere tears staining hyuck’s cheeks and snot was basically running down his nose and he was laughing like a maniac and oh no, he’s losing it, renjun get tissues, what the actual HEK

the closing speech ended with a new tissue box emptied and a tissue rolled up into hyuck’s left nostril

the others were crying, too, but they were smiling

jisung approached them with wet eyes and the same awkward stance where he keeps his hands clasped in front of him and hyuck tearfully joked that he looked like That Meme and made jisung cry instead of laugh and chenle started laughing because of it but ended up crying too

HAHAHAH THE SE BBOYS BEIN CRYBABIES (imcrygin too at the thought of this i love ht em. s o mmmcuhhchl)

hyuck couldn’t help but pull the dreamies into a hug before he gets swallowed by their arms, affections, and surprisingly, their smooches

“ABOUT TIME Y’ALL PUNKS RETURNED MY LOVE”

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dvp95 · 5 years

Text

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 4

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 3,122 for this chapter (15,775 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

i want to die

Aw, what happened? Did you give SugarScape spoilers?

Despite Dan's horrible mood, that makes him snort. no you buffoon 1 sugarscape has been dead for yrs, much like how i would like to be 2 i don't say spoilers ever 3 it's WORSE

I may be a little out of the loop. You gonna make me guess? I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was.

phil, Dan sends on its own for emphasis. i touched my coworkers tit on live telly and now i can't look her in the fucking eye

Jaime hadn't actually cared much. She'd laughed at him, made some jokes about how Dan's spatial awareness hadn't developed yet, and then moved on with grace. Meanwhile, Dan had been having a mild panic attack on his side of the sofa because all he'd meant to do was brush a distracting piece of lint off Jaime's shoulder and, somehow, drastically missed.

It was all of ten seconds of his life, and Dan is still freaking out about it. He's been pacing his hotel room since they got back, hasn't even bothered changing out of the nice shirt he'd worn for the interview.

Like accidentally? Phil finally replies on Dan's third lap of the room.

no phil i need to grope people on camera to finish. what kind of person do you think i am. YES ACCIDENTALLY.

I dunno what you're into. I'm sure she knew it was an accident?

Yes, Jaime knows it was an accident, but that's not the point. there will be gifs phil

Phil sends him some emojis, only some of which make any sense in context. Dan isn't sure why that calms him down so much. He sits on the edge of his bed and sighs, waiting for Phil to stop typing. It takes a while, but eventually Phil says, Then you'll deal with them. It honestly can't be worse than you falling off the Jimmy Kimmel stage? I swear I saw that gif for months before I knew who you were. And if you're worried about people saying you did it on purpose, tell Jaime. You can talk about it like adults.

It's all laid out very clearly, and while it does make Dan feel better, he doesn't think he's finished being dramatic yet. He checks the time and sighs heavily.

dont suppose you'd be up for a late lunch/early dinner to distract me??

Sure! :), Phil responds immediately. The quickness of his agreement makes that part of Dan's brain start shouting again. I'm actually filming today though. I'll be done in like half an hour if you want to meet me here? Then we can either get takeaway or go out?

It's truly fascinating to Dan how practiced Phil seems to be at giving someone options and pretending like either one is fine rather than just offering his own opinion on the matter.

After assuring Phil that he'll be there, Dan considers getting changed. He's only got fifteen if he wants to get to Phil's place on time, and he isn't exactly known for his quick wardrobe decisions.

In the end, Dan just swaps his nice shoes for some sneakers and rolls his sleeves up. He's a little overdressed still, a McQueen button-down maybe a little too fancy for just hanging out with a new friend, but. He doesn't want to be late. Besides, he looks good. Maybe he likes the idea of Phil being surprised, looking him up and down, having the interview as an excuse to be so dressed up.

The part of Dan's brain that exists to remind him that men are attractive has been so, so loud this week. It's been impossible to ignore.

Dan messes with his straightened fringe until his phone beeps, telling him his Uber is outside. He remembers where Phil lives, in the very vaguest sense, but has to get the exact address from Phil.

He's glad that Phil's front door is painted a specific sort of blue. It would be just Dan's luck to knock on the wrong narrow brick building.

Thor barks, somewhere inside, and Dan shoves his hands in his jean pockets as he waits for Phil to answer the door.

"Hey!" Phil greets him before he's even fully opened the door, beaming. To the great pleasure of Dan's ego, Phil's eyebrows raise as he looks Dan over. "Y'know, you could have changed. I wouldn't have minded waiting a bit."

"Feeling underdressed?" Dan teases.

"A little," says Phil. He pushes his glasses up and gestures at his own graphic tee and slippered feet. "If I'd known there was a dress code, I'd have put on a sports coat."

"You look fine, I was just impatient," says Dan. He waits for another beat. "Uh, can I... come in?"

Phil is giving him a smile, the one with deep eye crinkles and his tongue trapped in his teeth, but it drops as he realises that they've just been standing in his doorway. "Oh! Yeah, sorry, come in. I'm actually not done filming just yet, Thor distracted me. Shouldn't take long."

"What are you filming?" Dan asks curiously, his heart pounding a bit as he follows Phil inside and then, surprisingly, downstairs. "Wait, you're the basement flat? Your video lighting is so good, though!"

"Mostly artificial," says Phil. He sounds wistful. "Someday I'll have a place with a glass window, just you wait."

"What are your windows made of now?"

"What? They're made of glass."

"Then why would you need to wait for one?"

"What did I say?"

"Glass window," says Dan, fighting back giggles. They reach the basement door and Phil lets them in, giving Dan a sheepish sort of smile over his shoulder.

"I meant a glass wall. Like a wall of windows, y'know? That's the dream."

"Yeah, it is," Dan agrees, but he's distracted by the fact that he's in Phil's flat. He kicks his shoes off among the pile next to the door and looks around. "It feels super weird to be seeing this place in 3D."

"Oh, probably," Phil laughs. "You want some slippers? My feet get so cold down here, I've got like a dozen pairs."

"I'm alright."

Phil's flat has less natural light than Dan had expected - or, evidently, than Phil would prefer - but the sheer number of lamps, string lights, and scented candles scattered around the place give it a soft glow that Dan is a big fan of. There are bright colours on every surface and every wall, and the overall effect isn't as overwhelming as it could be. Dan still thinks it could be edited down, but. It's very Phil.

To his vague surprise, he sees Phil's bed pushed against the far wall, a backless bookshelf the only divider from the open living space. Box lights and camera are all set up at the side of his bed.

"If I didn't know what you did for a living," says Dan, gesturing at the setup.

Phil grins at him. "Yeah. My landlord still doesn't believe that I don't make porn. You want a drink?"

"Sure, whatever you're having," says Dan. He spots Thor, curled up on a fluffy dog bed in the corner, and immediately starts cooing. "Oh, there you are! Hello!"

Thor perks up, cocking his head to the side, and Dan gets on the floor to call him over. Within seconds, he ends up on his back with an armful of happy puppy, and he giggles helplessly as Thor licks all over his face.

"Thor, down," Phil says from somewhere above them, sounding amused. Thor backs off, winding through Phil's legs a couple of times before he trots back to his bed.

"I love him," Dan informs Phil, still flat on his back. It's not the most flattering angle to look up at Phil, but he can deal.

"So do I," says Phil. He holds up a glass. "Ribena?"

"Please," says Dan, standing back up to accept the drink. He suddenly feels very weird, standing in the middle of Phil's lounge slash dining area slash kitchen slash bedroom. "Er, you've still got to finish filming, yeah? I can just... sit."

With a small grin, Phil waves at his sofa. "Make yourself at home. Just try not to rile Thor up too much? He's already made my blooper reel longer than the video itself."

"I think I can handle that."

Dan cannot, in fact, handle it. He brings his Ribena to the floor so he can sit next to the dog bed and scratch all of Thor's favourite spots. He finds one of Thor's toys as he listens to Phil wrap up a story that sounds maybe ten percent true, and then - well. It progresses to a tug of war before Dan can even entertain the idea that this might be distracting to Phil.

"Dan," Phil says, in this tone like he's trying to sound stern but can't stop smiling. "Are you growling at Thor?"

Yes. "Maybe."

"Maybe? I'm literally filming right now."

"He's just so cute," Dan whines.

"I know he is," says Phil. "I deal with this struggle every day of my life."

Dan sighs and lets Thor have the rope, watching wistfully as he zooms off with it. "Sorry, I'm really not trying to be a dick. I know this is your job."

"Hey, no," says Phil, suddenly sounding much closer. Dan looks up from corgi-watching to see Phil leaning against one side of his shelves, hands in his pockets and a soft smile playing around his lips. Butterflies erupt somewhere in Dan's belly. "I'm not bothered, really. I think it's cute. I just also, y'know, would like to eat sometime today."

"Why don't I just order something?" Dan suggests.

"Alright," Phil hums. "I'm lactose intolerant and hate mushrooms, but the intolerance can be ignored for pizza if that's what you want."

If that's what Dan wants. "What do you want?"

Phil blinks. "Oh, whatever."

"No," Dan presses. He knows it isn't very good manners, but he wants to see if Phil will actually offer an opinion of his own instead of walking that thin line of indifference. "I will quite literally eat anything. You pick."

It's quiet for a moment while Phil thinks it over, only the hum of the refrigerator and Thor's little huffs of breath for background noise. Dan has to admit that the small basement windows have an upside - less traffic din is able to get through. Coupled with the way Phil has lit his flat, the atmosphere makes Dan feel comfortable, like he could curl up here and just stay.

The rug under Dan is soft, the Ribena is perfectly watered down, and he's got a cute dog and a cute boy to stare at. He really could sit here forever and be content.

"I feel like Chinese," Phil says eventually. He's chewing on his lip, and Dan realises he hasn't seen Phil look so... anxious.

"Chinese sounds great," says Dan. "I'll order."

Phil seems relieved that he hasn't accidentally made a horrible choice or something, and he goes back to filming while Dan fucks around on different apps to find the best Chinese place in Phil's area.

"You never actually told me how you managed to grope someone."

Dan, who had gotten all wrapped up in chow mein and MasterChef and had forgotten his hellish morning by this point, chokes on air.

"Oh my god, nooooo," he groans, covering his face with both hands and sinking further into the sofa. He hears Phil laugh. "She just! Had some fucking, like, fluff on her shoulder. Like lint. I was gonna brush it off."

"How did you fuck that up so hard?" Phil asks. He sounds so amused that Dan wants to keep hiding, but the curse has him peeking out between his fingers curiously.

"I've never heard you swear," says Dan.

"I don't," says Phil, "on YouTube."

Unfortunately for Dan, the sound of Phil swearing is very hot. He groans again, overdramatic to cover up his very real blush, and gesticulates wildly. "My limbs are not friends with my brain, okay, I've got very big hands and I misjudged where I was putting one of them."

"Yeah, you do." Phil's eyes track Dan's hands with an intensity that makes Dan's gut constrict. Then he blinks, meets Dan's eye again, and the look is gone. "That sucks. I get it, though, my body and brain are not on the same frequency at all."

Dan thinks, a little hysterically, that this is a very good reason not to try and have sex with AmazingPhil - he doesn't want to end up in A&E.

There are roughly a hundred other reasons, too. Dan's uncertainty about his own identity, the fact that he's only in the UK for another two weeks, and the very real bond that they've been forming as friends are all at the forefront of his mind. Even so, it helps to make a joke to himself about it.

"Have you ever touched a tit accidentally?" Dan asks dryly.

"I've never touched a tit at all," says Phil. He's drinking coffee despite the hour hurtling into evening quickly, and Dan has to wonder if he ever sleeps. "Not really my wheelhouse."

"They're fine," Dan says, with much less enthusiasm than he normally would. He can't sit here and talk about his boob opinions with Phil, though, because that way lies madness. So he changes the subject, talks loudly about the episode of MasterChef they're on.

He's not ready to come out properly to himself, let alone to someone he barely knows.

Well, okay. It would be more accurate to say 'just met', because Dan feels like he does know Phil fairly well at this point. At least as well as he knows Jaime or Patrick. And maybe that's more of a commentary on how shit a coworker he is, how bad at making friends he is, but whatever. The point is that he likes spending time with Phil a lot, and he wants to do it more, but he can't have that conversation yet.

Dan knows he's attracted to guys. When he was younger and had an even worse handle on himself, that attraction would either lead to fumbling, fearing for his safety, or both.

Right now, specifically, he is attracted to Phil. This feels different, because he's got no reason to fear Phil or to immediately jump him, he's just comfortable sitting next to Phil in the dim light and letting the warmth of the feelings settle in his chest.

Maybe someday he'll be ready to tell Phil that he likes guys. Maybe that'll even go somewhere. For now, Dan is going to trash talk the chefs like he knows what he's talking about and settle into Phil's sofa and laugh like he belongs there.

Dan gets a little too comfortable. He has no idea what time it is when his eyes start to droop, but he's sure it's unreasonably early for someone who goes to sleep in the wee hours of morning most of the time.

A hand on his shoulder jerks him back into full awareness, and Dan blinks over at Phil. "Whuh?"

"Hey," says Phil. He's smiling and his voice is low. Dan can feel the slight chill of Phil's palm through the thin material of his dress shirt.

It's overwhelming, suddenly, how much Dan wants to lean in to Phil. The itch under his skin that he would feel ten years or so ago, the restless, guilty want that had him falling into bed with whatever bloke would let him, is thrumming through him with an intensity he hasn't prepared for. Dan's tongue feels heavy, and his gaze drops to Phil's mouth before he can stop it.

"Hey," echoes Dan, a beat or two late.

"You're falling asleep," Phil says. There's something about his tone that Dan can't quite place, so focused on his own emotions as he is. "You wanna stay over?"

Dan really, really does. But he really, really, really shouldn't.

"I can't," he says, not bothering to hide how regretful it makes him to turn the offer down. "Breakfast telly or whatever in the morning."

The loss of Phil's hand on Dan is one that he thinks he'll be feeling until Phil touches him again. "Of course. You probably have to wake up ridiculously early for that, huh?"

"Unfortunately."

Dan orders himself an Uber and slides to the floor with Thor in order to stop himself from giving his body what it wants in the short amount of time before it arrives. Thor likes the attention, and when Dan glances up to see the soft, unguarded look in Phil's eye, he thinks that Phil probably doesn't mind being ditched for his dog.

They chat about MasterChef and Dan's upcoming interview for a few minutes, safe topics, and Dan is disappointed when his phone beeps with the notification that his driver is close. He doesn't actually want to leave, he just knows he has to.

"We have to do this again before you head up to Edinburgh," says Phil. He walks Dan to the door, which is a little pointless - it's a total of eight steps away.

"How'd you know we're going to Edinburgh this weekend?" Dan asks, distracted from the process of getting his shoes on.

"Been in the business a while, lucky guess."

"Right. Well, then, I'll have to see what I'm doing on Friday."

"Yeah, just message me," says Phil.

There's a moment after Dan gets his shoes on where they're both just standing there looking at each other, and Dan's heart starts pounding like he's getting chased.

"I'll see you Friday," Dan says quietly, even though he isn't sure that he's free. He just needs to say something. His phone beeps again, probably telling him the driver is outside, and Dan is both relieved and annoyed.

Phil opens his mouth to say something, but Dan's racing heart and anxious mind doesn't want to hear whatever it is. He steps forward and wraps his arms around Phil's waist in a tight goodbye hug. It's the sort of embrace he'd give any of his friends, nothing overly intimate, but he knows he'll be thinking about it later anyway.

When Phil's arms drape over Dan's shoulders and his thumb brushes deliberate circles over the back of Dan's neck, it hits Dan very suddenly that if he were to try and kiss Phil right now, Phil would let him. That kind of knowledge is intoxicating, the surety of it making Dan's head swim.

But. He still doesn't know for sure what he wants, and his Uber is waiting. So he just pulls away, says goodnight, leaves.

#phanfic #phanfiction #dnp fic #phan #words words words #can't breathe when you touch my sleeve

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catalina-infanta · 5 years

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Fantastic Beasts meets Star Wars

I was watching the Fantastic Beasts movies and one thing I love about those films is their use of the main character (the protagonist and Hero) being a bit different than the regular hero, and showing traits of someone with autism (he won't look other characters in the eye for long, his very specific interests of caring for animals to which he has developed specialized expertise, and his comments about how people “often don’t like him”). I, myself, love seeing heroes who aren’t your cookie cutter male alpha, punching people while making sassy remarks. I think Ben Solo/Kylo Ren kinda fits this mold too, as did Luke Skywalker. They just aren’t your usual alpha dog, they have emotions, they are real people.

Yet, there seem to be some other trends where the writing of the Star Wars sequel trilogy and the Fantastic Beasts series are concerned.

Black and White Thinking

One is the theme of black and white thinking as being portrayed as evil. Maybe this is even more pressing today. Of course, this is coming about out of Hollywood, as Americans are experiencing more and more the pain and dangers of bipartisanship within their government. Yet on the world stage, however (as I am not American) the insidious effects of how we consume media through computer and search engine algorithms (which gather information particular to our interests and worldviews) means we rarely leave our own information bubbles or read news with which we may disagree with. This is separating us further from others more and more, forming divides and even black and white thinking (us versus them) when we are unable to tolerate or understand other people’s opinions.

In the movies, these topics are being stressed with good versus bad, us versus them and with fascist, totalitarian thinking at play. Even visually this is being represented. For instance, the main villain of Fantastic Beasts, Grindelwald, is repeatedly wearing black and white. Conversely, however, the hero Newt Scamander is shown wearing colours, blue and yellow. And this is not the first movie to make colour an important feature in expression ideas about characters:

This is showing Grindelwalds polarized, thinking of purebloods against those who are not is black and white (read: wrong). Indeed, in the films expresses this as flawed further when it has the main protagonist, Newt, express distaste at how American wizards cut interaction with muggles out entirely and see them as lesser beings, probably commenting on racism in America and its enduring systemic ills.

Of course, we all know that black and white is traditionally part of the Star Wars good versus bad, but even this is changing, with Rey moving into greyer garbs from her earlier whiter clothing.

Forbidden Attachments

Also, much like Jedi were forbidden from attachments, Muggle’s can’t be with magic folk in America (its illegal even). Much like dark force users were taught to fear the dark and stay away from light jedi. There is no middle ground, just bad and good, no learning from each other or expanding, just lines which cannot be crossed. So of course, where you have a plot like this which the writers think are constrictive or wrong, you have your main characters crossing this line (in the case of Fantastic Beasts, to show its wrong and backward, and in the case of Star Wars to show its worth expanding outward and understanding the other side, forgiving and letting those who have fallen back into the fold to repent and redeem and that even they can be good nd have souls worth loving).

In Fantastic Beasts, one of the main love stories is one between Queenie and Joseph, a witch and a muggle. Like Rey and Kylo Ren, a lightsider and darksider union (we think..but c’mon its pretty obvious they are romantic!). So both movie trilogies have 2 protagonists who are braving this divide, but finding it casts them out, or jeopardizes their union. Rey and Kylo cannot bridge there divide (nor should they with how dark kylo is right now), and in Fantastic Beasts, (***SPOILER***) the American witch Queenie, in the end of the Crimes of Grindelwald has even joined the evil cause of Grindelwald because she (misguidedly) believes they can help her relationship with the Muggle Joseph come to be allowed.

The Evils of Repression

So above we have two themes, black and white, polarized thinking as being shown as wrong, and main characters attempting to breach these divides between two worlds/belief structures through love.

But there is one more similarity. In the Fantastic Beasts 1st movie, there is a dark phenomenon known as an Obscurial. According to Wiki fandom, an obscurial is a young wizard or witch who developed a dark parasitical magical force, known as an obscurus, as a result of their magic being suppressed (often through abuse or fear of showing their powers). According to Dumbledore, an Obscurial can possibly be healed by replacing their feelings of alienation with a sense of belonging.

Repression has long been seen of as something akin to evil in western film and storytelling (often you see priests in TV and movies going through this, self-flagellating, or whipping themselves for their nasty sinful thoughts – and these characters tend to be evil, think of Paul Bettany’s character in Dan Browns Da Vinci Code, or the evil guy Frollo in Hunchback of Notre Dame).

Something Star Wars has been dealing with since the advent of the prequel trilogy is this idea of repression leading to evil. One of Anakin’s, and I argue Ben’s, troubles was with the repression of their dark natures, or even repression of just their good emotions such as love for Padme or Shmi, causing them to become unbalanced and leading them to evil. I get it, if someone told me I couldn’t love I would grow angry too, and I am pissed with the Jedi – it seems Luke was too.

The idea that balance is necessary in the Star Wars community is pretty self-evident though, so I wont take too much time explaining this. Ben and Anakin are emotional guys, constantly told to keep it all in, only let the light out, repress your feelings and any darkness that may be felt because that’s “bad” (Yoda’s advice to Anakin when he was fearing for Padme’s death to “rejoice for her” for becoming one with the force sucked, and we are meant to be frustrated by it, because I can't believe George Lucas would expect us to agree with Yoda and believe it was OK for Padme to die and that Anakin should just move on). Indeed, to repress and deny the good and bad inside us is damaging and something we should all avoid – this is the Jungian notion of accepting and resolving yourself with your shadow self, instead of ignoring it until it explodes, much as the Obscurials do when they cant hold it in any longer and they die at a young age.

As a side note, I was really happy to see Credence didn’t actually die at the end of the first Fantastic Beasts film, because he was obviously an abused and unloved child looking for his parents (sound familiar? Rey?). Although sadly, I’m not sure he will survive the series of films now that he has joined Grindelwald, or that the writers care enough to give this character anything more than redemption equals death scenario and not bother to give him a happy ending or find belonging and peace.

Conclusion and how these movies should wrap up

Anyways, I guess I just thought it interesting that both films were dealing with similar themes, probably because they are issues we are dealing with in society, but they are issues society deals with all the time in one way or another at all times but perhaps we feel they are more pressing today?

The importance of these themes to these movies, however, means they should be in some way resolved at the end of each series because they aren’t going to reinforce these notions by punishing the characters who act out of the bounds of societies black and white framework.

With Star Wars, I think there will be a better way to look at how Jedi will go about their business in dealing with the dark side (i.e. with more understanding of what it is instead of fear and rejection), and how individual Jedi will deal with the darkness inside themselves in thier own personal journies to avoid the worst. This will hopefully include some resolution on how future Jedi will deal with attachment - rather than just repressing everything and forgetting about it. I dont think this is something that is valued today in the west, because no one wants to abandon those things about human life that make it most worth living.

On that note, I also expect the two pairs of lovers of both Star Wars and Fantastic Beasts to be reunited, in order to visually and narratively show a change and love for the other side and repair the longtime split between the groups. Its more than just a sappy ending, it’s a metaphor for how we should think about the “Other” that we are told to fear or belittle by a society that has gone too far in its black and white thinking. So, Queenie should marry Joseph even though Muggles are thought beneath wizards, and Kylo and Rey should both come towards the centre and be together and find their belonging they so desire, thereby resolving their loneliness. (However, this is a whole other question of Kylo’s redemption, etc.). But the notion that Jedis shouldn’t marry be damned! And this is the PERFECT way to show that stupid rule was dumb and resolve the very thing Anakin struggled with in some way. And, for that matter, the notion that forgiveness shouldn’t be given to those who have erred or fallen by the wayside be damned!

No, in the end, the lesson is that black and white thinking sucks, and love and forgiveness is what matters for those who find it in their hearts, to love, and not fear the other side is what our heroes are showing us, with a multitude of colour to express the variety of people, and emotions, that life can give us.

#Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them #Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald #Star Wars #Reylo #Queenie and Joseph #Harry Potter #Episode 9 #Episode IX #Star Wars Sequel Trilogy #Luke Skywalker

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thenixkat · 6 years

Text

Animorphs notes 3

Book 3

Narrated by Tobias. Getting all of the white kids out of the first I guess

Tobias forgets the color of his eyes after a few weeks as a bird. But he remembers that he had blond hair and was kinda big.

Tobi has also oly been looking at his bird face head on cause otherwise he’d notice how doofy his face looks

Dan’s not holding that hawk prisoner he’s just got shitty animal husbandry. If that 3 ft by 3 ft cage is the only cage he keeps her in. That could just be a travel cage dude uses for the filming for all the info I have and Tobi has already demonstrated that he over anthropomorphises animals

Also Tobi is gonna get that captive bird fucking killed with this Peta shit.

And he does something very unbirdlike infront of multiple people any of whom could be a controller.

And he nearly gets killed doing this.

Tobias is a dumbass that doesnt consider the consequences of shit.

Tobi she’s a fucking bird and there’s a fucking elephant destroying shit and humans causing a ruckus. She’s startled and startled birds fucking fly u numpty!

Rachel chews Tobias out for being a complete idiot and starting that stunt while on fucking air

Ya know what, Tobi’s descriptions of Rachel are starting to make me uncomfortable. And that plus his insistence of talking to Rachel on her solo mission every 5 secs probably means he has some creepy crush on her

Tobi don’t start on that shit you chose to be in morph far more than was safe, was warned multiple times of the time limit and got yerself stuck. Its not a curse if yer fucking responsible.

Applegate skips on the whole redtails also hunt smaller birds and that’s… weird

Tobi assumes that a human smiling when they see a bird means their jealous. Not that like, the person just fucking likes birds and nature and shit and is either going to or going home from a job where they spent hours in a bland cubicle looking at just a computer so hey a cool bird, they must be jelly that they cant fly.

I don’t like Tobias.

Why do the yeerk ships have clocking that hides them in ultraviolet as well when humans can’t see into that range? Wouldn’t it make sense just to cloak along the visible spectrum and save power and also cleaning bills from hitting so many birds and bugs?

Marco is valid.

Also betting that that released hawk is gonna be ded in the next few days.

Also why did Jake not get any info from Cassie on potentially what to feed Tobias? Why isn’t Tobias just fucking living at Cassie’s barn? She could claim that he’s some tame hawk that someone gave to her b/c they couldn’t afford to take care of him any more

Tobias why didn’t you bring up the thing in the sky to the whole group?

Is this brooding angst?

Also if Tobias has been eating random leftovers from Jake for weeks he should be sick as fuck.

Why didn’t anyone call Child Protective Services for Tobias’ case too?

Dead geese

Wolves were recently released in the nearby national parkl/woods

There are mountains nearby, and a coast near by, an abandoned church, a mall next to a construction site

Has Marco been in the mountains before?

Marco, yall only tried to rescue Tom once. That’s not everything you could do. Yall could just fucking kidnap him and fake his death and also tell Jake’s parents so they don’t do anything… rash

Tobias is kinda taking charge of this mission

Tobias doesnt like Marco

Its 20 miles from Cassie’s barn to the mountains

Cassie apparently dosent consider that female wolves might also fight for dominance

None of these kids practiced this morph beforehand even tho they know morphing something for the first time usually leads to some loss of control

Cassie can morph horse. There’s horses plural at her barn. They could have all become horses in the woods to travel the 20 miles then turned into more normal forest animals to blend in once they got there.

Every Time they morph my comparative anatomy classes start fucking screaming in anguish. The knees reversing is not nearly as bad as fingers shriveling and disappearing b/c somebody doesnt know fucking digitigrade limb anatomy

Morphing took Cassie 2 mins

Tobais is a hawkaboo

Alpha. Ick

Jake can’t control his morph and is triggering wolf shit in the others

They really should just fucking demorph and remorph.

Tobias gets frustrated and flies off to clear his head

Too fucking bad we dont get a first person view of turning into a wolf b/c Tobias got himself stuck as his fursona and had to narrate this book

Fake park rangers

No, I’m not going to believe that hork-bajir have T. rex feet b/c these kids know jack and shit about every kinda animal. Also zygodactyl feet make more sense for a tree climber, and would look lovely while kangaroo hopping

Tobias only notes blades on their heads, wrists, elbows and knees.

Tobi mistakes a random group of 5 wolves for his friends

These dumbasses dont demorph and remorph b/c they want to be wolves for the rest of their life

Taxxons are consistently described as fat centipedes

Tobias finds out his hawk body is horny for a lady bird

More misinformation on how wolf packs work

Idiots don’t display submissive behavior and back away to avoid a conflict. Or just flat out fucking run away.

SO the gang are able to demorph at least 7 mins past the two hours time limit. Cassie was in morph the longest yet is the first to finish and then helps the other morph with her coaching skills. Interesting.

SO how long can they really stay in morph? It takes Cassie 2mins to morph, they were at least 7 mins past the window. Cassie spent 69 mins in morph more or less, could she go longer?

Did lying to them about how much time they had left help? How much of morphing is psychological?

Owls can and would eat hawks. Tobias should be concerned about that.

Marco comes up with the idea to drive the alien tanker uncloaked over the city to alert the citizens

Jakes plan is to enter the ship through the pipes as fish. Why would there be a way to get into the rest of the ship from the water tank?

Rachel’s gymnastics group is doing a show in the mall

It bothers me that the kids and books don’t call Iness 226 by their name. B/c conflating the yeerk with their host is… not a good mentality to have

...birds can walk. Does Tobias think the only way birds can move is by flying? He can fucking run, it’d be a cute little flapping waddle but he can fucking run

Tobias loses control kills a rat, has a freak out and tries to commit suicide in front of Rachel. Is thwarted by Marco

Tobias goes feral to avoid his emotions

Tobias goes to see if the female hawk is still alive/maybe a booty call

Ya know I wanna know whats going on with the other animorphs while Tobias is having this crisis

It took Tobias a surprisingly long time to get past his shit and give a damn that a person was about to be brutally murdered in front of him

… how does Tobi’s eye attack work on the hork-controllers? AT what angle is he going to avoid the foot long horns and still hit the eyes?

You can totally hug a damn bird Applegate. People hug birds all the damn time.

Why don’t the two people with osprey morphs? Catch fish? Hell they could work together driving the fish into a net if they’d thought to bring a net.

These kids are so dumb. Marco? Cassie? Morph fucking ospery and see where the fish are!

Toboas gets distracted by the sexy lady hawk durring an important part of the mission

Andalite description: eyes on antler-like stalks, large main eyes, dainty hooves

Why is Visser 3 here now?

Plan gets 500% more dangerous and Jake and Rachel still push for it

Cassie sides with doing the plan over fucking waiting till security cools off and trying again when there’s less chance of death

The hork-controllers shoot a deer but not a bird going out over the lake multiple times

Hork-controller talking shit to a human-controller

Why is there a grate at the top of the water tank that leads in to the rest of the ship?

Tobias genuinely seems to think that there are voluntary hork-controllers given this and his comment in the first book’

Also I don’t like how Tobi keeps refering to non-human people as creatures. This shit probably happened in the other books but fuck it I’m noting it now

Heh. The kids can’t open the grate to escape and are plotting group suicide to avoid capture and infestation.

Its almost like trying to infiltrate a spaceship/tanker through the water take was a very very bad idea.

Tho is they had like mosquito morphs it might have worked

Taxxons can apparently climb like small bugs do.

Tobi steals a gun to kill the ship with

Tobi kills a ship with a gun

Random chance saves the animorphs again and Tobi is the only one to notice the humans falling out of the ship

…. Marco has an osprey morph not bald eagle.

Also! Bald eagles are fish eaters! Why didn’t Rachel morph to make fishing a little easier

Tobi sees the sexy lady hawk die

#nix meows #nix reads animorphs

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festiveditl · 6 years

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Also I watched Dan's younow live stream where he was talking about it and he said he didn't mean it in that way, like he had meant to put another line in there, but decided that he didn't want it. I just feel like some of the phandom members blow things out of proportions, like that they thought it was a dick joke, but wasn't meant to be. Like "a chocolate bar and something else in my mouth." could be referring to another type of food or drink or whatever idk.

yeah. no, i disagree. i think theres no way dan didnt know what kind of joke he was making, and even if he didn’t, he shows the videos to phil and phil wouldve told him. so i just dont buy that he didnt realise how it sounded like. that being said, and the point that bothers me most is that it’s not that we misunderstood or overanalyzed like for example the times he went off because of “phan”, this time people were just refering to a joke in the video that had no way to be misinterpreted, and i’d give him the benefit of the doubt if he said something more neutral but it was right there and im pretty sure most people thought the same way.about blowing things out of proportion, i feel like everyone appreciates the content the way they like, personally his video’s message while i found it interesting, i don’t really relate to it, for different reasons and i appreciate it in the way that lets me know about whats going on in his head because i care about him. and the joke, for me, was such an important moment because it was very straight forward and it seemed like a clear step towards being able to discuss sexuality with him. now dan got upset because people focused more on the last point than the first, and while he can have concerns about how his content is received, being patronizing to his viewers for the way they take his content, wad borderline insulting, specially when it refers to a delicate topic for lots of people in this community as sexuality is.just so you know, there are lots of people ive seen today on the internet saying they came out or had a positive experience inspired by dan being so comfortable with his sexuality, only for him to take it back.it just bothers me so much that after all this years and all those moments he has showed us he really gets the inner works of this community, he has the guts to say “i dont know this people, idk where they came from or who they are” when he knows exactly it’s most of his viewers and exactly why we care about that topic in particular. is in bad faith after telling us he didnt want his content to be received that way, that he refrains from making those kind of jokes, yet today’s video on phils channel was filled with them and it felt so disingenuous. while two days ago i felt more on the same wavelength as him as being queer myself, now i feel like i dont really know where he stands and that makes me distrust him.im obviously not implying im gonna unstan or something, it’s just that im incredibly disappointed because i thought this was over us a long time ago. i dont think he’s ever going to address this, knowing them and seeing their damage control video today that clearly didnt go too well, but i hope he understands that we are not upset because he hasnt come out, we’re upset because he looks down on us for reacting in a way that he didnt want us to react. it’s kind of ironic this whole discussion was on a video about him being his true self lol. i think his true self is being a mess.

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survivorsunsetrodeo · 3 years

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Ep 10 | Am I Just Plain Irrelevant? - Josh

Soooo I am the partial owner of an idol with Taylor!!! So hopefully we get ourselves through this round. I need to tell Ari about it but I’m worried they’re gonna tell Taylor, so maybe I’ll just let it be for now. BUT I PROBABLY WILL TELL THEM RN hahahahaha. Idk if they’ll be mad about it or just happy it’s in someone’s hands. The bad thing is that someone has the whiskey too so that idol is out and about as well. I am BEAMING that the vote worked out as it should.

WHEW ya boi really survived yet again despite being called out as most likable player in the game!!!!!! idk but i deserve some kind of award the vote went pretty much as expected minus all the scrambling/drama that rly isn't interesting to talk about.... now we have some new tea to spill which is a) idols and b) next moves.

a) the idol randomization this round is absolutely chefs kiss - taylor was planning to buy the last gun anyway which she has now done with the help of a loan from dan, and the only other idol that's active is the whiskey that me and jacob have been sipping + which still nobody suspects we have (i hope). taylor thinks josh has it so im like yeah mhm probably! anyway this means we dont have to worry about the vote going screwy and if we really needed we could play that, but i think that won't be necessary. b) so basically immediately after council, taylor says in the 3some group chat that she thinks it's time for jabari to go next and i said yeah good call i have no problem w that. the only people left here who aren't my bffs are jabari and emma, and jabari proved herself a loose cannon this round with trying to flip on ali so as much as i love her, she gotta go. with the newly solidified trust between taylor + dan, i really don't see how this could go wrong (knocks on wood) because that's been the biggest disconnect so far in our majority group and now they have something to share so that should be helpful in bringing everyone closer together.

in other news, taking stock of relationships - taylor dan jacob ali are all still saying they trust me over anyone and wanna take me to final three which is a very cute look for me but obviously i'm not gonna believe it till we get there. i'm starting to get a little worried about how much jacob knows my game, like i mean i tell him everything and im fine w that but i don't want him to get any funny ideas about how he can sell our story better than me! i'm also nervous about dan clocking the two of us because he said something just now about how we were both doing good at keeping people close, "[him] with taylor and [me] with jacob" which i mean yeah duh to an extent i know everyone knows this but i'm still trying my best to distance myself as much as possible. ali im not worried about obvi and taylor i don't think she will vote me out until close to the end so that gives me time to figure out what to do about her at that point. so likeeee i think we should be good for a while? i've bought myself a couple more rounds probably before i have to really start hustling? we'll see but these fools really did say "ari is the most likeable and talented person in this game let's keep them around <3" they will regret it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel bad for Nic he seemed to have spiraled after the tribal Brandi went. I wonder if this was avoidable but people aren't gonna let the AARP roam free when everyone knows about us which is exactly what I've been thinking from the start. From now on I really have to play smarter. I've been trying to limit the info I give to Ari but I need someone to be 100% honest with and like I'm not a dummy to bring Ari to FTC they'd wipe the floor with me. They just have so much connections and is basically untouchable but people will have to catch up eventually. This is why you always go 5th!!! But for now I plan to hide behind Ari because they're a big target. I honestly dont believe Ari got extorted like lmao ok you've been voted for everything good on touchy subjects and you get extorted for money?? but i'll go along with it and Emma seems to have bad reads so I'm not sure how much I can rely on her to sus things out but I need her as a vote and to pool money with. Taylor seems to be the most open and fluid player so I need to keep a close eye on her. After losing Nic my trust ranking is something like this: 1. Emma* (I just trust Emma the most at this point but I can't let her know everything) 2. Ari* (I also trust Ari the most but I have to limit the info I give to them and only give info that is personally relevant to them) 3. Taylor 4. Jacob 5. Dan 6. Jabari 7. Ali (please do not take 48 hours to reply back or send conversation enders I'm not good at talking to people)

https://prnt.sc/xjoq7k

I'm really annoyed at how Ari seems to be keeping things from me all the time and then telling me things at the last minute where I wouldn't be able to do anything and my dumbass here keeps on telling them things all the time and now Ari told me they lied about their horses? Literally what am I supposed to do Ari is so vague all the time!! I'm not in any position to lie about my horses because I'm taking this opportunity to gain allies but really all this does is make me not trust a lot of people. I don't know who to trust but I don't have the luxury to choose so I'm just blindly gonna follow Ari because they're the only one giving me info. Dan also said he wants to talk to me and Jacob came clean on why he lied to me but I'm just really annoyed. I was in no position to do anything to save Nic and I've been telling everyone I would be fine if Nic goes just tell me if people are voting for him AND THEY DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING? What did they think I was gonna do I haven't bought things from the shop they should know I've been giving Emma money so what the heck yall.

I'm really hoping my talk with Dan will help illuminate some stuff because I'm only getting things from one source (well two but Emma's reads are kinda bad) and I don't even know how long Ari wants me around since Ari is the most well connected person here so all I'm doing is getting on Ari's good side and with my back against the wall I just have to trust them....but I have to play smart if I can survive this next round I think I'll have a general idea on where people stand. I think it would be very funny if I send Ari home at 5th place for the memes but I don't have any pull to even do that.

PS: if you're reading this Ari ily but yes i am very annoyed at the moment <3

Another PS: Am I overestimating my impact in this game or am i just plain irrelevant.

If Jabari wasn’t dead to me in this game before, she certainly is now! She just got off a call with Ali and said I voted him out and she voted to keep him. What a fool. Obviously Ali is gonna tell me about it. He told Taylor first which is..... scary to me because maybe he’s closer with her than me. But he still told me so.

I just wanna make sure if I get to f5, I’m not outnumbered by an OG Beeho alliance that they’ve had from day 1.... which is a possibility but 5th place is also kinda cute?

alright alright alright okay okay okay i need to be a little less cocky here yeah. the rope purchase this round shook me because i have no mf clue who did that or why and that BOTHERS ME!! we're 99% sure jabari has the rifle, josh would tell me if he did it, and none of my ppl are dumb enough to waste their money on that in the middle of a round so like......... it has to be emma??????????????? but where did emma get that money???????? man i dont know. it bothers me.

either way though, basically it has to be jabari this round and the only possible obstacle is if dan/taylor get too freaked about her possibly having the whiskey. i kinda sorta brought up to jacob that we might want to tell them about it but i think he doesnt rly wanna tell anyone and i don't super want to either so we're just saying josh prob has it, sorry josh, i know u don't drink. so hopefully that should be okay idk i don't see another way this could go wrong but i also have immunity so like that helps.

im also Very Worried about whatever twist is coming down the pike because the ftc schedule does not add up and my spidey senses are tingling i just really hope it's not someone coming back because that would be no fun at all. well ok chloe could come back i'd be fine with that <3

i really don't know how to feel abt my personal relationships w everyone because dan keeps saying like he wants to be with me in the end he doesn't care if he loses as long as he gets to play with good people etc etc and it sounds too good to be true but somehow i believe him? but i gotta keep my head in the game. and then taylor, our talks have gotten more personal lately and she's been just saying so much of how amazing she thinks i am and how grateful she is we've met and i'm not saying i don't believe that, i'm just saying it makes me nervous because i can't let that distract me from the very real possibility she makes a move against me at some point. it's safest to assume dan and taylor will come together to flip on me EVENTUALLY and probably SOON so we just have to get there first. which is why my priority thus far in merge has been eliminating all the wild cards as quickly as possible. brandi we didn't know where she was truly at, nic would have kept shaking things up, and jabari's so hard to read because the way she plays is just on a different level from everybody else. so if all of them are gone, then i'm really truly not worried about josh or emma because they're both floaters not scramblers and that leaves me with a group of people whose motives i can understand and predict at least to some extent. the devils you know, right? so hopefully i can keep that up and keep a step ahead of them for a while longer!!

i'm getting a little too used to this look.... https://prnt.sc/xl0ne8

Welcome to my Ted Talk :D

I have been hurt by this game, I know I am not a bad person, I am loved in my personal life because I love giving. I guess people do not really get how real I am. It is just sad. I never have won an ORG and I really want too. :(

I get its a game and all but i was gutted when people lied to me about horses, it honestly makes me think there's bigger things at play. I might have to find other options in this case

so many thoughts... um i'm starting to think a lot more about how to get to the end game with ppl that i think i can beat and it's just a lot to think about and i'm afraid if i'm gonna do that i'm gonna piss a lot of ppl off by making big moves and stuff and that is just so scary to me but it must be done

I heard it was jabari but why ppl just going for people in the bottom thinking about just telling jabari hey girl if u have an idol play it im burnt out because im on the very outs the only person here is making me wanting to play is josh if hes gone its gonna be super hard to play this game without them my will to play = lost even tho its hard now rather me then him going if the jabari thing is a lie.

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Y’all I am SPENT. I just feel like each round I find myself slipping deeper and deeper into crackheadery and I need to RELAX. I am really proud of the game I have been playing and if I go out now, I’m going to be crushed but also proud. I would be proud of the fact that I was seen as a threat and got taken out bc of it. I don’t want to think negatively but there are SO many idols in play it’s hard to really navigate these votes.

I know the shotgun is with me and Taylor but this fricken whiskey is MIA??? I am hoping someone like Ari has it. They have been really certain that no BS is gonna go down tonight, but how can you be so sure unless you have the idol no one knows the location of?? I mean they’re also safe with immunity so idk.

I am just gonna hope I’ve put enough work in with people to not get voted out tonight. And if I do, it is what it is!

Power Rankings: ONE - ARI (+1) Threat: 9 (-1) Trust: 9 (NC) This week was definitely Ari’s week. They won immunity, had everyone give them the correct horses. They also got put in an alliance with josh and I where we got good intel from the other side and what they’re thinking. I think anyone would be stupid to believe that Ari isn’t the biggest threat in the game. TWO - TAYLOR (+1) Threat: 8 (+1) I put myself at two for the same reasons as Ari. I think the other side is opening up to me more now that nic is gone, I have more info. I’m also trying to make people feel guilty for listening to nic. Really using manipulation in a sense to make them feel bad for me. I also want good rapport with them as jury management is key in this stage. THREE - JACOB (+2) Threat: 7 (NC) Trust: 7 (-1) Jacob is someone I’m surprised to seee high this week. However, with being included in the whispers last round, and again this round without his name coming up, I think he deserves to rank third this round. Jacob’s game is very under the radar, and hes playing really well with the power to take the game in the direction he wants. FOUR - JOSH (+4) Threat: 4 (NC) Trust: 6 (+1) Josh got to work this round which is a pleasant surprise. He made an alliance with Ari and I which was a great move for his game. There is also a really good chance he has an idol this round. So he does hold a lot of power and information compared to his past rounds. FIVE - ALI (+2) Threat: 4 (NC) Trust: 10 (+1) Ali seems to have steered clear of his name being on the chopping block this round. Honestly Nic going last round is just as good of a move for my game as it was Ali’s. He just doesn’t have as much information and if he does get any information he comes directly to Ari and I. SIX - DAN (-5) Threat: 8 (NC) Trust: 9 (+1) Dan really plummeted this week as every crazy good week normally follows a terrible week unless you do the right damage control. I think Dan is complacent in our alliance and felt the need to not worry about the mess he was going to leave behind after nic left. But now people don’t trust him, and his name has been brought up by the minority. SEVEN - EMMA (+1) Threat: 1 (+1) Trust: 4 (+4) Emma like usual is toward the end of the power rankings. Her and I did clear the air, but I still don’t like how she just let nic dictate how she played the game. I understand she’s extremely loyal but to not talk to someone for three rounds because your ally doesn’t like them is questionable gameplay. It’s likely Emma goes this round if Jabari idols. EIGHT - JABARI (-4) Threat: 6 (+3) Trust: 0 (-2) After the shady round jabari had last week, it’s no surprise she’s in hot water this round. She also did a terrible job damage controlling the situation. She lied and said Dan flipped, threw multiple people under the bus, and no she’s acting extremely nervous. She’s become everyone’s number one target because she tried to flip at the wrong time.

Okay so im nervous but if i go it isss what it isss Jabari is the plan i think theres a big chance she has an idol im like debating if i should yolo it and throw my vote at jacob i love jacob but i feel like at this point they are kinda in the core alliance how i see it maybe rn are like ari-ali-jacob jacob with dan > Taylor > Jabari i am glad that me and taylor either are good or gonna end this game good idk if i am going yet but after this vote if i survive i really want to work with taylor!! either way i have nothing bad to say about taylor i think shes great me working with nic kinda hindered trust there but i am to loyal to default this game i do love nic tho but atleast i kinda have a game to play!! idk i am also probably just gonna vote for jabari because if its like 4-3-1 mega oof ASDFG i dont trust any of these hoes yet except for josh oh well if i go which i think its a high chance of me going atleast he gets 400 dollars richer hehe also i didnt even want jabari out at first but then she tried to throw me under the bus to dan smh

dont trust anyone not even urself

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

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neverthoughtofthatlol · 3 years

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TWENTY on My Twenty

I actually want to write this on 31st Dec but i will just do it now.

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my twenty years of life and if I were to put it into words, it would be these:

1. Allah.

In the end of the day, all that matters is Allah. His blessings, His rahmah and His loves. No matter what my problems are, it will be always gonna be done somehow with the helps of Allah. Allah loves me more than anybody else do and Allah loves loves when I came back to Him. I am very much of a sinful person yet Allah always give me His blessings and loves. I can’t thank Allah enough and i am so so grateful for being born as a Muslim. Allah is The Most Merciful and Gracious. He is Al Fattah, Al Rahman and The Goodness is only His.

This life is but a tool for us to find Jannah. There is something bigger, better and kekal than this dunya. But for us to just live life as it is, we cant get into Jannah. Do as He tolds us to, from the Quran and His Prophet SAW. Do everything that please Him. Find more ilm, knowledge on the religion. One by one, step by step. InsyaAllah.

Above all, He is The Most Merciful, Most Knowing. Everytime I fall, i went back to Him, crying and praying. Alhamdulillah. Each times, He helps me get through my problems. So Isma, whenever you are in such a bad situation, or even you are not— always run to Him and pray. I learn this ayah this year and I love it‏

‏وَلَمْ أَكُنْ بِدُعَائِكَ رَبِّ شَقِيًّا

‏"Dan aku belum pernah kecewa dalam berdoa kepada-Mu, ya Tuhanku."

‏(Maryam: 4)

Sungguh, i am far than being a person of Zakariyya tapi Allah sungguh mendengar semua doaku. Though not all are granted the way i want them to be, but they all good for me.

2. Family.

I thank Allah everyday for my family. Each and every of them. My parents especially. I am ever so thankful for my sisters and brothers in laws. My parents and siblings been there for me on my highest and lowest.

Mummy. For everything that I had done, i always think that it all thanks to mummy’s prayers. Perhaps among those days, there might be a day that i gonna take my own life or i might be facing a big problem and it were mummy’s doa that saved me. Maybe there are days that i supposed to fall and fail, but again doa mummy save me. I am not a good student ykno, tapi tiap kali exam besar, i asked mummy to pray for me and setiap kali itu I got result yg agaik baik. Lebih daripada cukup makan. Alhamdulillah.

I dont have friends. None at all. No bestfriends and nobody to talk to. But i have my family with me. I have my sisters whom i shared few things with. I dont go out with friends, instead i went with my siblings. My brothers in laws took very nice care of me. Like real brother.

And for all that, i so appreciate them and pray to Allah everyday for each and every them can go far and successfully in whatever they do. I dont know how to express my love and appreciation, but i just know i love them to death. I dont have anybody. But i know they always have my back.

3. Qadr

If Allah already written a thing for you, it will get to you. Even if that thing is right under your nose, if it does not mean for you, it wil never be yours. But if that thing are mean for you, it will get it eventually.

Don’t worry about a thing. God has write everything for you ever since you are in your mum’s womb. Tenang. Pray and cry to Him. Dont forget to breath.

What isn’t for wont be yours. Make peace with your past. Let go of things burdening you. Believe in Allah. He will guide your through. Accept the Qadr of Allah. He knows best. He is the Divine Planner. He loves you . Know that His plans will always lead to something better and great. If things go wrong, that might be a form of protection from God. Things might rough sometimes but later, when you look back and see how perfectly the pieces fit together.

3. Timing

You are never early and never late. You are just in time. Perfectly in your time frame. If people your age doing better than you, then it is their rezeki.

Boleh jadi the time that you want that certain things to happen in your life, is the time that you are not ready for anything. Boleh jadi you belum kaya sebab you belum cukup knowledge about handling money. Boleh jadi awak belum buat degree sekarang, while people around your age are on their second year kf degree sebab you belum ready untuk semua tu.

You are not late. Remember that life is not a race. You don’t compete with anybody in this life okay. It’s about you again yourself. You nak maju or you nak stay still di sana.

4. Manner

Manners maketh a man. Sebelum menuntut ilmu, kena ada adab. Sebelum kita mengajar adab, kita kena membeli jiwa. Manners for me is the first thing to be taught to our children. What is a person without manners. What is a professional without manners.

If you being rude to me or anybody else, then consider our last meeting is our last chapter together. With that being said, i dont want to associate myself with mannerless people. Sure it’s cool and all but for what?? Being mannerless is not just about talking in a rude way but also taking benefits out of a person and leave him when he is in need. Being rude is also being a person with no commons sense.In the religion we call it akhlaq. What is a muslim without akhlaq.

If in your place, everybody do that. Then keep doing it. However in my place, dont act like that. You are in MY place. So behave yourself.

This is a note to myself too. For me to being a nice person to everybody regardless of who they are, their background.

5. Mental health

Mental illness are real. Three years ago I dont even know what is a depression and anxiety. Years ago, I even mocked people with mental illness. Years ago, I believe nobody should ever have it and everybody should endure it well. Years ago I believe none of my surrounding would be one of them. Years ago I believe I just have to be strong and calm to overcome it.

I was wrong. Who knows years later, me out of everyone else, the me that was known for her strong will, the me who are so ambitious, the me who stay rational and collected most of the times, the me who didn’t bother thise little things. Who would expect me to be one of the fighter of mental health. Who would have know that me will go through all these.

I mean even me myself never imagine that I would be in that black episodes. Huh. Things are real. Mental health are real. It happens. To everyone. Regardless of whom and whys.

Few things ive learned about mental health are they are real and they will come to you unexpectedly. It will tear you apart. It bring you down. It will make you lost your sanity. You will lose control of everything. Breath became heavier than ever.

But you will overcome it. You will go through that. And you will learnt a lot. You will realize about lot of things. You will appreciate more. You will turn to your Creator again.

Everytime it hit you, try your best to hang in there and always always run to Allah. Cry your eyes out. Bail. Beg to God. It is hard but it will pass.

Read again. Books. Fiction or nonfiction, read. Get that feeling of reading again. It somehow helps me. Read the quran also. Read the hadith. Read random quotes from socmed. Unfollow the flow. Breath again. Look at the sky. Get a cup of coffee once in a while. Listen to talks. But dont read other people story on how to overcome it. Dont read the survivor’s sharing. It will trigger you. Dont google the topic. Leave it as it is. Enough with what you know. It will trigger you, harder than the usual.

7. YOU HAVE TO DO IT

If you have dreams, you have to get it yourself. Nobody else are going to do it for you. Sure people will help you but no one can make your dream into reality other than you.

Once you enter adulthood, it

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lillysleepilystudying · 7 years

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92 Questions Tag

tagged by: @court-ships (now @bujo-ie )

LAST: 1. drink: probs water (tbh i dont like water much but you gotta sTaY hyDrATed) 2. phone call: i ran out of credit ages ago and haven’t bothered to recharge it so i haven’t called anybody recently, but mum has called me, so i guess that counts. (actually thinking about it i can’t remember the last time i called someone) 3. text message: to my best bud (cause i was wallowing in the depths of despair for like 3 weeks cause i felt like she was ignoring me so i finally got the courage to text her about it last night :) i think we’re going to be good) 4. song you listened to: K I’M LISTENING TO TEAM BY LORDE RIGHT NOW AND I LOVE IT FOREVER AND ALWAYS 5. time you cried: tbh like last weekend (see point number 3)

HAVE YOU: 6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anybod 8. been cheated on: nup, thankfully 9. lost someone special: i have lost relatives but i never really knew them? i have lost quite a few pets tho :/ 10. been depressed: not ‘officialy’ but past couple weeks have been bad (once again, see point 3) 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never been drunk, only ever had small sips of alcohol (i’m way to young)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: ohh so hard i don’t really have a fav, but i guess all blues (with and emphasis on teal) and like nearly all pastel colours.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yeah, but not like super close 16. fallen out of love: nah 17. laughed until you cried: maybe, but not very much 18. found out someone was talking about you: i don’t know? like this one isn’t very clear 19. met someone who changed you: sort of, i became closer to best bud, who i guess has changed me a bit 20. found out who your friends are: yes, but like also no? one of my few good friends left (for england of all places, but she is coming back), another’s moving schools, and once again see point 3 for other friend 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lol i don’t even have facebook

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: see point 21 23. do you have any pets: YESS SO MANY a dog, two cats, like 8 horses (only one’s mine tho), 3 ducks (one i’ve had since i was like 4), around ten chickens... yeah i kind of live on a farm without all the big herds (also a lot lot smaller than a farm lol). fun fact: we used to have like 7 peacocks, they’re actually the coolest birds to have around. 24. do you want to change your name: no way, i actually quite like mine :) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: pool partay! tbh i went way overboard with the decorations, i spent hours making little paper flowers for everyone (they looked pretty cool, actually) 26. what time did you wake up: probs like 6;30, but stayed half asleep until 8:20 (shhh it’s a sunday i can do what ever i want 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleepinggg (sadly without my radio on bc mum wanted me to ‘try sleeping without music’ mum how i can i i need it ON 28. name something you can’t wait for: DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #BILLISBACK GET PUMPED!! also PINOF 9 and halloween baking videos from dan and phil, also, any album coming out from any of my favourite artists for the next like 104585 years. ALSO I’M GOING TO MONGOLIA IN LIKE 2 WEEKS HOW DID I FORGET THAT 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like half an hour ago we were running about in the rain putting the horses back in their yards 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: world peace, there are too many people (and animals) that are a victim of unhappiness they will never deserve

31. what are you listening to right now: A WORLD ALONE AKA THAT LORDE SONG THAT I RELATE TO ON AN OTHERWORLDLY LEVEL 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah, there’s one in my grade and he speaks fluent french (at least he did last time i checked which was like 2 years ago) 33. something that is getting on your nerves: tbh like all homework ever, plus this giant self-directed project we’re doing this year, it’s the most stressful thing ever. also, once again see point 3 34. most visited websites: umm i guess youtube, school’s home page, tumblr (although i’m mainly on mobile for that and that’s an app) reddit and ao3 (one my phone)

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. mole/s: nah not really 36. mark/s: nah, but i got beeg stretch marks on the sides of my hips bc i am gROWING FAST 37. childhood dream: i think a vet or zookepper. also i really wanted to publish a book that said ‘new york times bestseller’ on the front bc that’s what all my favs said on them (tbh i still dream of this) 38. hair color: blonde ayyy (but it’s getting darker underneath) 39. long or short hair: i guess medium - long (little below my shoulder blades) 40. do you have a crush on someone: not really i haven’t had one in literal years unless you count that time i sorta thought i had one one on my best friend even though im 98% sure i’m straight 41. what do you like about yourself: my creativity, like i’ve learnt not to say ‘oh i’m horrible at art/writing’ when i’m actually not that bad. also, i’m a total weirdo 42. piercings: confession: i don’t even have my ears pierced yet?? like, i do want them pierced, but i literally can’t be bothered atm lol 43. blood type: idk, although i did get a blood test like last monday, so i should know soon 44. nickname: i don’t really have any (there’s not much you can do with ‘lilly’) although i have one friend who calls me lilpil. 45. relationship status: single and probably staying that way for a while :) 46. zodiac: capricorn (but i don’t bother with zodiacs bc i am NOTHING like a capricorn) 47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite TV Show: OMG I HAVE SO MANY BUT I’M A FRIGGIN HUGE DOCTOR WHO AND SHERLOCK FAN COME SCREAM ABOUT THEM TO ME also if you ship johnlock that’s even better!! 49. tattoos: none 50. right or left hand: right handed 51. surgery: nope 52. hair dyed in different color: never done, probably never going to (i change my mind ALOT) 53. sport: tbh i hate sport but i do horse riding and with school i do sailing and hockey (bc a summer and winter sport is compulsory) 55. vacation: OK LIKE I SAID I’M GOING TO MONGOLIA AND I CAN’T GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH BUT I DID HAVE TO APPLY TO GET IN AND I’M RAZZED 56. pair of trainers: i’m not to particular, i just have shoes for sport (alTHOUGH, i do have an awesome pair of white sneakers with a bit of gold round the back)

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: it’s father’s day and we had a GIANT breakfast and lunch so i don’t know if i’m even having dinner 58. drinking: i could KILL for a milo right now (it’s like, my version of tea or coffee) but parents have stopped buying it because ‘there’s too much sugar’ TIM I DON’T CARE I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT 59. i’m about to: idk i need to practice guitar, work on my bujo (bc i’m super behind), keep writing my fic, and i guess other general stuff 61. waiting for: nothing really, it’s sunday night so i’m sad bc it’s monday tomorrow 62. want: lots of things (who don’t amirite) but one is getting my bedroom walls gyprocked and painted (they’re wood panelling and i hate it) 63. get married: tbh whenever i meet the right person :) 64. career: FILM DIRECTOR YO i know nothing about film but i still really want to do it.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: OMG HUGS HUG ME PLEASE 66. lips or eyes: eyes, literally everybody’s eyes are beautiful, it’s great 67. shorter or taller: taller 68. older or younger: older i guess 70. nice arms or nice stomach: nice personality ;) 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive, like me tbh i’m so sensitive raise your voice at me and i will burst into tears 72. hook up or relationship: relationship always 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, also like me

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: definitely no 75. drank hard liquor: nopeity no 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have ‘em 77. turned someone down: technically yes? there was this new kid at school and he was literally asking every girl out, i was a bit confused. 78. sex on the first date: definitely no 79. broken someone’s heart: sadly i think so (but we’re like best friends no so it’s all good) 80. had your heart broken: no 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: yes, aforementioned relative i barley knew (still sad tho) 83. fallen for a friend: sortofnotreally

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: yes, at least i try my very hardest 85. miracles: in a way, yes

86. love at first sight: not really

87. santa claus: when i as like 3, yes

88. kiss on the first date: maybe?

OTHER: 90. current best friend name: ezri, my smol bean (also person from infamous point 3) fun fact: we’re both pretty sure she’s named after her character from star trek, ezri dax (her parents are giant nerds just like ez and i) 91. eye color: blue/gey with a bit of green 92. favorite movie: ARGHHH I CAN’T PICK I HAVE SOOO MANY, LIKE EVERY ONE BASED OFF BOOKS I LIKE, i really can’t pick, but one that is quite special to me is ‘my house in umbria’, my grandma and i used to watch this together all the time

Ok whoa this took me LITERAL HOURS but now that i’m done i just want to tag anyone who wants to do it! :)

#92 questions tag #this took sO LONG #but it was fun #lilly speaks #personal #not studyblr

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