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#working at relationships
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Apple Pie
Harry was baking when Draco got home.
An apple pie, if Draco had to guess, judging by the smell wafting through the house. He took a slow breath before squaring his shoulders and heading toward the kitchen where his boyfriend was baking. It didn't seem like something that should set Draco's fight or flight responses off but it very much was.
Harry only baked pies when he was upset. And it wasn't that he was afraid of Harry; he wasn't, it was just that he hated how hard that amount of stress was, hated that they couldn't just have a proper fight anymore. Hated that he felt like it was all his fault.
"Hey," he said lightly, settling himself at the island and watching Harry as he tidied.
"Hey," Harry replied, voice equally light, but there was an undercurrent of something else there, something that Draco could feel buzzing in his veins.
He paused, parsing out the words, trying to figure out what to say. Maybe if he could just assure him-
"Don't," Harry said, voice sounding stretched tight, like something was ready to shatter inside of him. "Just leave it alone."
"Harry-" he started.
A vase on the shelf wobbled dangerously for a moment before Harry exhaled and unclenched his fists, "Seriously, Draco," he said. "I need some time."
"Right," he said softly, trying not to escalate either of their emotions, "okay," he said, nodding and heading toward their bedroom and deciding to take a shower.
He spent his time in the shower reminding himself that this was how this always went, ever since the curse. Harry's magic was always heightened when he was upset, Harry always drove him away so that he could calm his body down first so his magic didn't lash out unpredictably and wreck their home, they always got to talk it through later. He forced himself to slow down, to do a hair mask and a face mask, light a candle, and moisturize his skin. He'd finished all of his normal self-care routines and then braided his hair before putting on a pair of sweatpants and one of Harry's jumpers.
When he emerged from the bathroom, Harry was sitting in the chair in their room, elbows rested on his knees, fingers clasped. He wasn't looking at Draco but Draco knew that he was fully aware of his presence.
“Hey,” Draco said, keeping his voice level and calm.
“Sorry,” Harry whispered. “I wanted to be okay by the time you got back but I just...” he shook his head and sighed heavily, looking up at Draco and pinning him with the intensity of his gaze, “Are you alright?”
"Fine," he said lightly, no reason for Harry to know that he'd almost died in the field today.
Harry all but growled at him, "don't lie to me," he said and Draco could feel the way his magic was twitching around Draco, trying to reach out and check him but Harry was visibly restraining himself.
With a sigh, he held out his arms, "I am fine," he muttered a bit petulantly. "Go on then," he said and Harry's magic covered him, touching him everywhere seeking out his bones and organs, checking him for any damage. After a moment his magic retreated a bit but he could still feel it lingering on his skin.
"You had a lot of injuries," Harry said, jaw ticking.
"I'm fine," he repeated.
He looked down and took a deep breath, "Ron told me you were in Mungos," he said, and he really must have done a good job regulating given the way his voice barely trembled.
Draco sat on the floor in front of Harry, sliding closer so that he could catch his eyes, "I am fine," he said softly looking up at him.
Harry's fingers reached out and brushed over his jaw, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," he confessed. "Draco, I'm-" he broke off, looking at his hands where his fingers were clenched together, "I'm afraid that I'd burn the world to the ground if something happened."
He reached out and took both of Harry's hands in his, clasping them between his, "I'm okay," he repeated.
"This time," Harry said softly.
He didn't know what to say. "I know my job is hard-"
"No you don't," he said, his voice just a little sharp. "You have no idea what it's like to sit here everyday, waiting and hoping that nothing bad happens to you. You have no idea what it's like to have my magic constantly rushing under my skin wanting to help you-"
"I've told Weasley a thousand times not to fucking send you a patronus for every little injury-"
"It wasn't a little injury!" Harry snapped and a light bulb blew in the bathroom.
He shook his head, "I hear that but there's nothing you can do anyway-"
"That's the point!" Harry shouted and something shattered in the kitchen. "There's nothing that I can ever do. I just sit home and bake fucking pies while you go out and throw yourself in front of everything that will kill you."
"That's rich coming from you," Draco said. "The entire reason your magic is like this is because of the curse you had to throw yourself in front-"
"To protect you!"
"I didn't ask you to protect me!" Draco exclaimed. "How long are you going to keep punishing me for something that you chose?"
"Punishing you?" Harry asked, reeling back like Draco had slapped him, "How is wanting to keep you safe punishing you?"
Draco shook his head, tears filling his eyes, "I don't want to give up my life. Every time something happens," he said, "every time I get hurt, I feel afraid of how you're going to react."
"Draco, I wouldn't hurt you-"
"Not because I'm worried about you hurting me," he said, because that was true. "Because it tears you up and I keep waiting for you to ask me to quit. And I don't want to. Harry-"
"I'm sorry," he said, "shit." He put his head in his hands, "Shit."
"I love you," Draco said, because he did, more than anything. "I love you."
"I know," he said, catching the hand that Draco had pressed to his cheek and turning his face to kiss his palm. "I'm a lot," he said. "This curse is a lot. This is too much-"
"You're not too much for me," Draco inserted quickly because he wanted Harry to understand, "but it feels like I'm too much for you. And I hate the way I make you feel. I hate that we just keep going in this cycle of you getting worried, blowing shit up in our house, then feeling guilty and apologizing."
"Sorry-"
"Stop," he said. "Salazar, Harry!, stop apologizing It should be okay for you to feel worried. Why are we always trying to cap it?"
"Because my magic destroys things," he said like Draco had lost the plot.
"And?" Draco asked. "So what? We can fix it. Let's just," he shook his head, "please," he said. "Please, can we just have a fight. Or can you just let yourself feel your fucking feelings and we'll repair anything that's broken. Because I hate feeling like I'm constantly breaking you."
"What if it hurts you?"
"It won't," Draco said, "because you would never."
"There's a lot in there," he said softly. "A lot of things that I've worked really hard at not experiencing in their fullness."
He nodded, "I know, love. Just," he shrugged, "let it out."
Harry stared at him, "What if I'm too much?" he whispered.
Draco brushed his thumb over his cheek, "impossible."
"Outside?" Harry asked. "Maybe in the back garden? If we put up some shield charms?"
"Yeah," Draco said, leaning up to press a soft kiss to Harry's lips, "yes."
"I don't actually want to fight with you," Harry said, "but it might be nice to let myself feel," he added like a confession. He looked at Draco, "I don't actually want you to quit, I just-"
"Hate feeling helpless," Draco said softly for him.
Harry nodded.
"Come on," he said, standing and pulling Harry to his feet, tugging him outside.
For a long moment, Harry just stood there, letting Draco put up stronger wards and shields to protect the perimeter of their property. As he watched, Harry closed his eyes, his toes burying themselves in the grass and dirt. Draco watched, waiting, and nothing happened.
Until it did.
He'd been expecting things to shatter, rocks to break, their flower garden to get torn up. Instead, the sky itself turned dark and it opened up and started to pour.
Rain drenched everything in seconds. Everything except Draco.
He looked at Harry, watched the tears streaming down his face mixing with the rain. Then Harry started to talk, "I am so afraid," he said over the pounding of the rain. "So afraid that I'm going to lose you, you have no idea. And it just," he shook his head, "the grief and fear weigh so heavily on my heart, all the time." Thunder cracked overhead, lightning striking the ground. "And I can't do anything. I want to be able to help, to be able to protect you, and it eats me up inside that I can't."
The rain turned to partial hail but Draco remained completely dry, even as Harry's clothes started to cling to his body in all of the wet.
"And I'm so frustrated about being trapped in our house. Frustrated that they haven't found the counter-curse. Frustrated that I can't help you or anyone else. But especially you." he said, still not looking at Draco, his eyes still closed as the storm raged on.
Draco waited, he just waited, wanting to give Harry all of the space that he needed to say whatever he wanted to say.
"I feel like I just keep failing you, over and over," he sobbed. "I promised, in our vows," he continued, "I promised to protect and cherish you and it's a promise that I break every fucking day."
"Harry," Draco said, moving toward him and stepping into the rain and ice that was still pelting his beloved. "Harry, look at me," he murmured and the other man opened his eyes.
"How can you even stand to look at me?" he asked, voice raw as the wind whipped around them.
"You haven't failed me," he said. And Harry started to shake his head but he continued, "You haven't," he insisted. "Because you can't. You protect my heart, you protect our home, you layer me with protective spells every single day before I leave; don't think I don't feel them settling over me like a mantle."
"I-"
"I love you. I want you," he added. "I want this life, with you. We promised each other the rest of our lives and I want all of yours. I want you to feel your feelings; to be afraid, or angry, or frustrated, or anything else. I want you to be you. Completely and totally you." He shook his head, leaning in and kissing him hard, "Circe, I've missed you these past two months."
"I haven't gone anywhere," Harry said, brushing the long wet strands of hair that had fallen out of his braid off Draco's face.
He nodded, "But you've been such a shell of yourself, so timid and," he shrugged helplessly, "not you."
"Draco," he breathed, tears falling all the harder, even as the rain started to ease slightly.
"Please stop hiding from me," he begged.
Harry tucked his face in Draco's neck and he cupped the back of his head, threading his fingers through Harry's curls.
"I want all of you," he said softly. "All of the anger, the hurt, the frustration. Give me all of you."
"Okay," Harry whispered, the rain slowing around them to a light drizzle. "Okay."
He wrapped Harry tighter in his arms, squeezing him as the rain stopped and the sun poked back out. "There," he said softly, "feel better?"
Harry nodded, pulling Draco closer, holding him tighter than he had since the curse happened.
"There you are," Draco murmured, holding him tighter in return, "Fuck," he whispered as their bodies seemed to come back intune with one another. "There you are," he repeated.
"Don't leave," Harry whispered, voice cracking.
"Hey," he said, "hey. I'm not leaving, love. I'm not going anywhere. Why would I-"
"My brain knows that," Harry said, "but my heart just-" he broke off. "I'm afraid."
"Listen to me," Draco said, pressing a kiss to his temple, "I'm not leaving. I love you. And I am always happy to tell you."
"It's stupid," Harry whispered.
He shook his head, "Nothing you're feeling is stupid. It's okay to be afraid, it's okay to need reassurance. We're going through something really hard, I'm happy to reassure you."
"Thanks."
He hummed, "do you think you're ready to go back inside, maybe put some dry clothes on and watch a movie?" he offered. "I was told to take two days of medical leave, so we can have a couple of days with just us?" he hedged.
Harry pulled back so that he could look him in the eyes, "I'd like that."
"Me too."
He sighed and scuffed his foot on the ground, "Thanks for letting my feelings be really big."
"I'm always happy to let you take up space," Draco promised. "Always."
And even once they found the counter-curse six months later, they found that they both were better at communicating their emotions and expressing their needs with less trepidation.
They were both surprised to find that the curse had actually been a blessing in disguise.
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Read more of my fics here.
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hansoeii · 24 days
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Ohh look, it's the dead boy detectives!
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lavendervirgos · 12 days
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Wanna spend the day together? In bed, naked, watching movies, eating food and having sex three or seven times?
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eastgaysian · 3 months
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the specific frustration with dungeon meshi is that there's been a very distinct shift in fan content and a very clear reason for it. it was one of the rare cases of a decently popular work where the vast majority of fan content you saw was gen or f/f; m/m ships existed but they were not anywhere near as overwhelming as in other fan spaces, and people who heard about dunmeshi by word of mouth often came in knowing about farcille. the anime started airing after the manga was completed and is a pretty faithful adaptation, it's not as if it added any more fanservice/sexualization/shipping fodder. the only difference is that it made dunmeshi more mainstream/popular, and that's when the focus started shifting towards m/m ships and away from gen and f/f. for the people who enjoyed being in a fan space that unlike 99% of fandoms wasn't m/m focused, that fucking sucks, and there's nothing you can do about it because you are always flat out outnumbered
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assiraphales · 8 months
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love that when luffy heard the name roronoa zoro & found out he was an extremely feared pirate hunter to the point that people called him a demon his first reaction was ‘I’m going to see that guy’ then when he found out he had a soft spot/good person he was like ‘OHHHH he’s coming home w me’. and as for zoro, he was like huh that kid’s crazy. sure I’ll join his non existent pirate crew and follow him into danger. perhaps even die for him! and within a week they’re communicating practically telepathically. first mate successfully acquired
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sketchnwhatevr · 11 months
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I really like them a lot🔥💧
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catsharky · 5 months
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Yeah I was right and there was no way I was getting the rest of this done without making you all wait another month or two, so I just went to the next good break point. We're officially past the halfway point with Astarion though, so not too much longer before you actually get to see Rolan again!
Part 1 • Previous Part • Next Part
Full page format under the cut:
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barrel-crow-n · 6 months
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One thing about Kaz is that instead of thinking "I don't deserve her" he went "I will work on myself to deserve her" Bro is a simp, not a quitter.
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nerdpoe · 7 months
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When Danny decides to reincarnate, centuries after his adventures, he chooses a random Dimension of Heroes and Villains.
He's expecting adventure! Heroics! A life worth bragging about in the Afterlife!
He wakes up in a tube, staring down at surprised teen heroes as they release him and another person.
Later, he finds out that he's a clone of Batman and Superman, and the other clone is of Superman and Lex Luthor.
He came into this world expecting adventures, not a weird custody battle about him and his brother (because that's what Conner is) between two A-List superheroes.
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hamoodmood · 8 months
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Another man another disappoinment
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tesseractingrey · 5 days
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i think one of the coolest things about dan howell is the example he sets of how your life isn’t over at 25, and one person won’t fix your life but you still can. dan met his actual soulmate at 18 and is only now, in his 30s, finding true and genuine happiness and fulfillment. meeting phil didn’t automatically solve all his problems, although he was clearly a significant part of the motivation to bother doing the work at all. but dan still put in the work himself for YEARS to improve himself and his life and it WORKED. your life isn’t over if you aren’t completely happy and fulfilled and the person you wish you could be in your 20s. putting in the work takes time but it is WORTH IT.
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horreurscopes · 2 years
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ELEKTRA: I am the shape you made me. Filth teaches filth.
(prints)(process video & high res)
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stil-lindigo · 1 year
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the machine.
a comic about being a 'creator' online.
creative notes:
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jedi-starbird · 3 months
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APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)
New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.
He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.
The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.
"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."
Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!
Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.
When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.
Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.
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buggachat · 14 days
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ladybug and chat noir having a partner spat and going to marital counseling over it
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bbbbbbbbatman · 9 months
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People are so surprised when Clark seems to actually...like Bruce Wayne? Like for his personality?
Like, when people date Bruce Wayne, it's usually for his money, his fame, or both. And everybody knows this, even Bruce, clueless as he is. It's not like he's dating them because he thinks they're his true love, he's clearly just having some fun, and if Bruce is okay with it, well, everybody else is too. No big deal. Bruce gets what he wants, his partners get what they want, and that's it.
So when Bruce Wayne announces he's dating Clark Kent, everyone assumes he'll be just like the rest. Except--he's not?
Outside of his job as a reporter and a few appearances as Bruce's date, he remains pretty private--so he's not after his five minutes of fame. So he must be after some money, right? No problem, Bruce loves spending money on his partners.
Except, it's been like two months but Clark keeps showing up to things in cheap, ill-fitting suits and sources report that he still lives in a small, mid-grade apartment in Metropolis, and he doesn't even have a car. A car is like a chump change gift to a guy like Bruce.
And then people start talking to him because they gotta figure out what this guy's deal is and...Clark seems to...like Bruce? Like obviously Bruce is a likeable guy, but not as a serious romantic partner. But Clark talks about how he likes spending time with Bruce, and spending time with Bruce's kids (which is absolutely unheard of), and he wishes they both had more free time to spend together.
Anyway, people are so confounded by smart, normal guy Clark Kent in an actual loving relationship with the guy who got in a public argument last week because he thought melancholy was a vegetable.
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