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wonysugar · 4 months

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sorry | yoo jimin

synopsis : her hands were always warm.

pairing : childhoodbff!karina x fem!reader

genre : all of us are dead au, angst (i’m sorry), childhood friends to lovers (?), high school au?

tags : zombie apocalypse, spoilers to the show?? it’s better if you watched it, so you get the refs ykyk, flashbacks, the entirety of aespa are in this, only karina is relevant tho

warnings : blood is mentioned, injuries are mentioned, implied dissociating i think, gross zombies, eating humans and stuff, you get it

word count : 2.4k

a/n : this was so self indulgent LOOK I FINISHED THE SHOW TODAY AND I SOBBED I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER💔💔also not proofread uhm looks around if you see any mistakes no you don’t! :]

“y/n, barricade the door.”

you stared at aeri as she yelled from across the classroom, fighting off another braindead zombie, barely winning and almost getting bitten. as a result, ning groaned, gathered up her courage and threw a chair at the walking dead that lunged at her friend. then, she stabbed the being’s neck before it got the chance to get up.

eventually, once she was spared a few moments to inhale and exhale, the japanese girl’s gaze met yours, eyebrows immediately furrowing afterwards.

“what are you staring at— barricade the fucking door, you dumbass?” she yelled, somehow louder this time, before having to stab another zombie in the neck with her pocket knife.

as if snapping out of a trance, you mentally slapped yourself, quickly looked around and rushed to grab the nearest desk, despite struggling to pick it up. then, you pushed it towards the sliding doors of the classroom afterwards. minjeong, the incredibly athletic girl she is, while also having heard the dozens of zombies running towards your location, quickly slid the other door shut and stacked another desk on top of the one you put.

you both reluctantly backed away, glancing at each other as if to seek reassurance from the other’s stare. you both listened closely for the sound of the impact from the zombies hitting the door, then unconsciously sighed from relief when you did hear it.

“thanks, sports girl.” you teased the short girl, snickering when she hit your shoulder playfully (which kinda hurt considering the strength she had, despite being seemingly petite.)

you felt the tension in your body fade away with each breath that was taken, you crumbled to the ground and allowed your body to get rest.

“also,” minjeong turns to look at aeri before addressing her, “you didn’t tell me you knew how to fight, who taught you?”

the girl in question runs her fingers through her hair as she groans, seemingly annoyed by the stupid question, before cheekily smiling, “i guess when you have to fight bitches every once in a while, you end up learning a few things.”

you all laughed, glad to be finally able to breathe and take a break from the constant amount of attacks you’ve endured up until this point.

“wait—“ placed ning before any of you said anything, readjusting her glasses nervously as she stumbled on her words,

“where’s jimin?”

“fuck fuck fuck fuck—“ she mumbled to herself in panic as she ran at full speed through the different hallways of the school, carrying the hard metal rod she found on the ground as a weapon whilst also escaping the army of things chasing after her, occasionally hitting unexpected obstacles left and right as hard as she could.

she felt her legs slightly giving out on her as she sprinted, the numerous injuries on her body bringing her a clear and not at all appreciated disadvantage. in a normal situation? she’d probably be limping and be annoying about it, asking her friends to carry her to class and whatnot,

however, this was a life or death situation, about 15 different zombies were behind her trying to devour her and half of her friends were probably a part of that same pile,

limping and being annoying to her friends wasn’t really an option right now.

“what do you mean she’s still out there???” you shot up, your blood running cold upon hearing that your best friend might’ve ended up being a 5 star course meal for the zombies, “you couldn’t have made sure she was with us before closing the door??”

“i couldn’t have done anything, genius, calling out to her while she’s trying to draw the attention of those fuckers from the other side of the school would just defeat the whole purpose.” sternly said the japanese girl, giving you back the same energy, also panicking for jimin in the process.

you walked back and forth in the room, pacing and trying to figure out where she possibly could have went, eventually groaning and stopping in front of the mean girl again, grabbing her shoulders, “so what?? she’s just dead now?”

“look, y/n, she’s probably just hiding in some classroom safe and sou—“

“i’m going after her. i’ll bring her back, you guys stay here.” you declared, immediately rushing to the backdoor.

“no, y-y/n—“ is what ning said, stuttering, before you bolted out of the classroom at full speed.

“okay well.. she’s definitely dying.” concluded minjeong before getting hit by a worried ning. “don’t say that—“ responded the latter.

“die you stupid fucking bitch diediediedie—“ exclaimed jimin, hitting the zombie that was clinging onto her foot and hissing at her with the same metal rod that she was carrying for what felt like several hours, grunting desperately with each hit, using every fibre of her body to kill it, until all of its blood splattered onto her.

after a while of it being unresponsive, she shakes its hand off of her shoe and watches its lifeless hand hit the ground. then gripping onto her femur injury trying to stop it from abundantly bleeding, shutting her eyes closed in hopes of making it somehow less painful. somebody on the level below her was screaming for their life, so all those braindead whores were away for a while. she was contemplating on how to run if they ever came back faster than expected, now that her brain has actually acknowledged the pain in her limbs, it was gonna be harder.

during that time, jimin couldn’t help but think about you, wondering if she was gonna be able to see you again, wondering if you were even alive. wondering if—

“jimin?”

that was your voice.

she recognized it better than her own.

“y/n.”

she immediately turned her head to look at the source of the noise, not being able to keep her flinch contained upon hearing it. then, upon realizing that you seemed fine, she couldn’t help sighing from relief.

but then she noticed that you were crying.

and you noticed that she was hurt.

rushing towards her, you quickly put your arm under hers for support and help her walk to near safety before the undead figured out you were here. you could think about the rest later, all that mattered was that she was okay.

walking into a seemingly empty classroom, you waited until something potentially jumped at you. after watching out for a couple of seconds, you set jimin down onto the ground carefully as you closed the door behind you. before you could even turn around, the older girl spoke,

“how did you even know where i was?” she asked, still huffing from the sprinting she’s been doing while trying to survive.

“your shoes are covered in blood, footsteps are not hard to follo—“

her nose.

blood.. was dripping from it.

it was bleeding.

her nose was bleeding.

she curiously raised her eyebrow at your sudden change in expression, “what happened? did a zombie scare you or something? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” she giggled.

“j-jimin?”

“what? seriously y/n, you’re scaring me. what is it?” she continued giggling only nervously, this time, in hopes of making you feel better, whatever it was that suddenly got you like this.

“y-your.. your n-nose..” you said, your voice barely above a whisper,

“it’s.. bleeding.”

“oh come on.. tell mee. your secrets are safe with me, i promiseee—” she pleaded with you, making a joking hand rubbing motion as you subtly laughed at her unfunny attempts to try and win you over. you could never let her know that she was funny; her ego would be too flattered.

“we’re in the middle of some sort of a zombie apocalypse and you’re still somehow managing to be annoying.” you joked with her, to which she pouted in response.

“ugh you’re no fun..“

“sorry that i’m trying to survive, jimin??” you said back using a sarcastic tone. she groaned and rolled her eyes before speaking again,

“look y/n, we’re probably gonna die anyway, okay? might as well die knowing everything about the other, don’t you think?” she tried reasoning with you, and yeah, while it did make a little bit of sense why she’d think that way, just in case you did survive, you had a dignity to keep.

you couldn’t just tell her that you’ve had a crush on her ever since you were kids.

“…what?” she said, her voice suddenly matching the volume of yours. blinking at you as her smile drops, distraught from the piece of information you just gave her, you can see a small nervous smile forming again as she approached her hand to her nose. “come on, you can’t make jokes like that they’re not funny at all man—“

red.

was that blood?

no, no, it couldn’t be. of course it wasn’t.

right?

when she looked back up at you, she noticed that you slightly backed away from her, still staring at her with nothing but pure fear in your eyes.

you weren’t scared of her, were you?

why would you be?

“man that doesn’t even taste that bad.” you affirmed, still not done chewing the fresh bibimbap, the taste of the absurd amount of wasabi you put on it not having fully hit you yet. she simply looked at you with hooded eyes, nodding at your claims like they completely made sense. she was patiently waiting for it, she was waiting for you to jolt at the actual taste.

and god was it funny when you did.

“f-fuck?? jimin oh mai fuck— jimin wawer— path me the wawer oh my—“

the sound of her own laughter resonating in the food court, everybody was staring at you two like you were crazy, and it was fortunate you physically weren’t able to laugh.

cause your two laughs mixed together sounded like one incredibly loud laugh, people knew you for it.

“next time, maybe don’t claim to tolerate something spicy when you’ve never even tasted it, got it?” she advised you, digging her hand into her bag as she looked for her water bottle, watching you eagerly nod. at that point? you needed to consume something that wasn’t wasabi.

“y/n i swear i didn’t get bitten i promise you it’s— it’s probably my blood pressure. yeah! m-maybe it’s too high or something i’m— i’m sure running was the c-cause.“

you quickly grabbed her hand as she was still sitting down.

cold.

it was cold.

“why are your hands always so fucking warm all the time? like— it could be -10 degrees celsius outside and your hands would still be warm.. i just don’t get it.” you questioned, holding onto her hand and observing it like it was some sort of rare object that needed to be analyzed.

your hands were always cold, it was no fair.

“maybe it’s just cause i have a really warm heart.” she said in a dramatic manner, naturally making you roll your eyes at her. then, when your eyes went back on her, you noticed something.

“hey jimin?” she hums in response, indicating you to continue, “where’d your name tag go?”

she chuckles, “oh, i was supposed to give it to someone, but then i ended up just losing it somewhere.”

you giggled as a reply, “fucking idiot.”

you choked back tears as she tried justifying herself, backing away further as she eventually got up from her seat on the ground. you heard the bones in her limbs slightly crack in the process, and you know she heard it too,

she just wanted to pretend like she didn’t.

tears rolled down her face as she stumbled on her words and her steps, the struggle to get air in her lungs growing bigger by the second, “y/n i swear— please listen to me i— i’m fine i-i just—”

how did she get infected? she didn’t even get bit.

“i-it’s impossible.” she thought aloud, “i didn’t—“

then she remembered,

the blood that splattered.

the injury on her leg.

fuck.

“jimin.” you whispered, the tears that you were holding back finally dripping down your face as you saw her. her veins slowly popping out as blood came out of her mouth, slightly drooping.

you saw her turn right in front of your eyes, and there was nothing you could do.

you just had to leave her there.

her eyes were bloodshot by this point, and she was fighting back only god knows what to not let her neck crack in front of you. she couldn’t see anything anymore, the only thing she thought to do at that moment, before anything was too late, was to reach into her skirt pocket, grabbing something small, you couldn’t tell what it was. you didn’t know what it was,

until she deployed it onto your palms.

“oh stop it.. not my fault nametags are so small, it’s a pain in the ass trying to find something so tiny, so i kinda just stopped looking for it.” she tried justifying, but you just kept laughing at her.

“who were you even planning to give it to, anyway?” you added, trying not to seem too hurt about her having a crush. you had to be supportive, because jimin wasn’t just the person you loved,

she was also your best friend.

“now you’re doing a little too much.. i’m so obviously not telling you that.”

“w-what are you..?”

yoo jimin.

“m-my nametag. it’s yours n-now.” she said, eyes twitching from the pain she felt, her bones cracking with each movement she made.

what?

her nametag?

what?

“i’m s-sorry i couldn’t— t-tell you sooner.” she stuttered, clutching onto her bloodied up shirt like it was gonna help her feel better. “i p-pussied out.” she giggled, still sobbing.

“sorry.” was the last word she could muster up.

you stared at her.

and she stared at you back, smiling before leaving the room and sliding the door shut behind her.

it all went by so quick.

you didn’t even get to say goodbye.

wasn’t this all just a bad dream?

you were gonna wake up right?

the zombies running, they weren’t running.

the screams in the hallways, they weren’t hers.

they weren’t even real to begin with, right?

the zombies weren’t eating her.

you stared at her bloody nametag, tears falling down onto it.

yoo jimin.

the zombies don’t even exist either, do they?

you made all of it up, right?

right?

“ugh lame.. i’m your best friend, you should be telling me.. booo tomato tomato..”

she laughed, hitting your shoulder playfully before laying her eyes on you, smiling tenderly as she watched you pout.

“sorry.”

#kpop gg #female reader #aespa #aespa karina #karina aespa #aespa angst #all of us are dead #all of us are dead au #karina x female reader #karina aespa x female reader #yoo jimin #yoo jimin aespa #yoo jimin x female reader #i’m gonna cry #i felt so fidksodkkwdk #writing this

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albertweskersplaything · 1 year

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"Such a wet cunt for me. All dripping wet, just for me and only me. begging to be filled with my seed. what a good girl." he whispered in your ear, dragging the tip of his cock along with your swollen pussy, teasing you with that smug smirk.

"Don't worry, you'll get your reward soon baby." he said in a low growl, before biting down on your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, but not too deep or long enough to really hurt you - just enough to make you gasp. You felt your body heat up at the thought of being fucked like this by the big bad wolf of your dreams. He was so hot. And you were so horny.

You couldn’t stop thinking about him, how good it had felt when he had buried his fingers inside you. How good it still felt when his dick slipped inside your wet pussy. You couldn’t stop dreaming of it. Even now you could feel him moving in and out of you in a slow thrust, his strong hands gripping your hips tight.

"Ah, so fucking wet. So ready for me." you heard him murmur in between breaths as he continued thrusted into you relentlessly. His hands moved faster and faster as he drove himself harder into you, hitting one of those sensitive spots inside you that had you moaning loudly and throwing your head back against his shoulder.

"So fucking sexy," he breathed against your neck, nibbling on your skin gently and licking the marks left behind. "And all mine. My sweet little slut." Your hands flew up and cupped your breasts instinctively, letting out a soft moan when his tongue found a particularly tender spot, sucking on it harshly until you were gasping for air.

“God fuck. Fuck, I can’t….I need to come.” you panted out, pulling his head off from where it had been resting on your shoulder and kissing him frantically, feeling his hand trace circles over your clit until you came undone.

Your moans became louder and louder, your body shaking uncontrollably as you came undone, your orgasm ripping through you like a tidal wave. He pulled away from you, panting heavily, his eyes dark and lustful as he looked down at you, “Fuck, you are so beautiful.” he murmured, leaning down and kissing you softly.

#how i feel #writing this #resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield x you #chris redfield smut #jake muller x reader #jake muller smut #carlos oliveria x reader #carlos oliveira smut #resident evil 6

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allmpoems · 29 days

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Fungi Funeral [1/4/24]

Who decomposes

a fungus, when she dies?

Does her next of kin, break her down,

thinking "Oh, oh, dear mother of mine"?

Does a mushroom return

to the earth that she's built?

The earth that she's turned

into dirt made from silt?

Does a mushroom grieve

for her family, forgotten?

And is she alone

until she herself is rotten?

Do fungi feel

as alone as we do?

Does a mushroom want

a love just as true?

I've read that fungi

make paths in a way

similar to those

that a computer may.

Are we the same?

Both inside and out?

After all, after death,

we become a brand new sprout

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shprka · 10 months

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CHAPTER 1 IS OUT

#had such a good time #writing this #i miss harringrove so will be writing more #billy hargrove #harringrove

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raniououou · 1 year

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Just a thought…

Why does every time when an angel falls in love, something terrible happens?

In the beginning, before there was paradise, Kimah loved Uri, and Uri loved Kimah. And they became Uri-Kimah, one being, one soul. Together they were love, bliss, and comfort in a time of violence, fear, and pain. But it was not to be, and after the angels were ravaged, Uri-Kimah was split, their age-old love torn asunder. Kimah was set aflame, a star to light the path for Uri, who became Uriel, the flame of God, and God alone.

Before there was sin, He was the anointed cherub that covers. Blessed cherub, son of the morning, wisest of all angels, of unfathomable beauty. Lucifer was perfect in his ways from the day he was created, until the day iniquity was found in him, until the day love bloomed in his blameless heart. Lucifer loved Michael, but it was not to be. And the sanctioned cherub picked up his wounded heart and aching body, driven by the aim to rise above God. Thus, the first sin was born. He waged a war against his Father and ultimately, against the love of his existence. A battle such that had never been fought, and never will again. But he was defeated. Injured and damned, he fell, a third of his brothers fell with him. All would share in his eternal suffering.

Before the flood, the watchers were given charge to look after, protect and pray for mankind. And they did, taking notice of man’s unparalleled faith and resilience. They admired the sons of Adam for it, But they also took notice of the daughters of Eve, and their love for them blossomed into something more. So their leader Semyaza made a pact with his brothers, and they took the liberty of taking the daughters of man to wife, the liberty of following the heart. But it was not to be, and from the union of the sons of God and the daughters of man, giants were born. Sanctioned, the watchers begged their father for forgiveness, but the deed was done, and they had to face punishment. Semyaza was imprisoned, without a hope to ever fly again without wings. Azazel was chained and buried deep beneath a desert, never again to see the light. A flood would come to wash away the sins they helped spread. And the world as they knew it, would never be the same.

Uuuuuuugghfhfh, hope u enjoyed reading whatever this was. I was never the same person after reading Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolas. That book changed me. Giving me a new perspective and things to think about. Always wondered why everyone, even God could love someone else romantically, except for angels. Heh, idk, i should probably write a poem about this.

#angels before man #writing this #instead of writing my essay #its super late #late night ramblings

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mourninglamby · 2 years

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What is ur favorite quote from the dsmp and why

im sure theres like 39482 but. i will always tear up thinking about "what am i without you?" "yourself". it just. works. ctommy, who defines his worth by who he follows and how well he follows them, lost without cwilbur and bound to follow people who end up hurting him when he has a glimmer of independent thought, was just told by ctubbo, his best friend, someone who he hasnt had the best relationship with lately because of a myriad of external forces hell-bent on destroying their relationship, that you are enough.

its a line that was said at just the right moment by just the right characters for it to have the most loaded and emotional impact on the viewer who had to watch these characters battle with self worth and self love and what it means to break the cycle of violence they've been conditioned to believe they were perpetuating. and the delivery? how natural the answer was? yet how it meant EVERYTHING to ctommy? its just a really, truly beautiful exchange. ctubbo is saying "you are more than your capacity to assist others. it is not worthless to exist for yourself. you matter. Full stop."

#cried like a bitch again #writing this #i know its probably not worded the best #and ive realized recently that i have an issue with run on sentences #but like... idk #i dont think i could ever come up with the words to express #how this line makes me feel

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kindregard · 2 years

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Ok but picture this:

He Tian finds a way to make Mo smile (mini fanfic):

~•~

HT: Why are you so uptight?

Mo: No idea what you’re fucking talking about

HT: You never smile!

Mo: Then give me something to smile about

HT: Hmm… like a joke?

Mo: I don’t care

HT: Why did the chicken cross the ro-

Mo: Corny

HT: But I can’t think of anything good

Mo: Not my problem

HT: Hmm

HT: I have a better idea

Mo: What is i-

{He Tian reaches for Mo’s waist and begins tickling him}

Mo: HE TIAN- WAI-

<He Tian watches closely for a smile. Mo’s tough facade quickly washed away at the skittish contact. His lips parted lightly at first, barring a smile barely noticeable and a light giggle. Oh was it music to He Tian’s ears. If he had been recording, he would’ve set the melody as his ringtone. Eventually, Mo could no longer restrain his smile. It was angelic. His pearly white teeth and feline fangs were clearly displayed. His eyes were closed and he leaned his head back. His full laugh was as beautiful as his smile. It was kind. It was loving. It was ethereal. It was light. He Tian was left in a daze and lost focus. It was all so hypnotizing. Mo kicked his feet playfully and reached down to He Tians hands, to remove them from his stomach. He grasped tightly and lifted Tian’s hands up, then pressed them against the raven-hair’s chest. He sat back up properly, trying to regain his composure, and wiped his watering eyes from laughing so hard.

…

Mo: Never… ever do that again

#19 days #19 days fandom #he tian x mo guan shan #mo guan shan #old xian #let me know what yall think #is this good?#please make this happen #i’m crying #i had so much fun #writing this

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egoistivc · 5 days

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y'all make sure I don't leave the

stove open when I cook shit please

#Writing this #while being half asleep #probably wont post this lmao #i still have to wake up at 4am

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separatist-apologist · 8 months

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This amnesia fic sounds like is going to ruin my life in the best way

We're in the same sinking boat anon

#i should be working on other thins and yet here i am #writing this

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theotherbuckley · 8 months

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I’m going feral over my own fucking writing. The writing gods have possessed me. I did not write this fic, it wrote me. Angh hrrng hnggskskksksks it’s really good I swear but it’s got me flapping my arms like a lunatic.

#the fic is Eddie in hospital and Buck trying not to breakdown #but it’s actually really dumb and wholesome and there’s a lot of fun facts and comparing Eddie’s eyes to cows #and angh angshsjkske it’s so wholesome and I don’t want to spoil it yet but just I’m going feral I love it so much #writing this #buddie #fic is curing my mental illness #I want to rant about it but I don’t want to spoil it you don’t understand #911 buddie #has my entire heart and soul and I hope the writing gods continue to possess me through this

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criticalerror25 · 7 months

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BIG LORE ™

SUMMARY REWRITE OF WILL WOOD ITERATORS

Once Iterators had been invented, a few copies of the blueprints and instructions were handed out as a early access while their designs were being finished up. Today we'll be focusing on a very lovely company called ████████, which currently had no noteworthy achievements to their name although still held a relatively decent amount of capable Ancients. Their current boss, [Albatross], was a... reeelatiively calm yet sketchy guy, more on him later though. With the knowledge of how to build a Iterator, [Albatross] decided to start a project to build two Iterators; one built as a experiment, and one built as a self-ish way of keeping their beliefs alive in the form of a near immortal giant machine. These two Iterators, respectively, are [Laplace] and RIP (Replacing Inner Peace).

Near the end of the project, a Ancient by the nickname of HATR requested to join the company. He'd gotten relatively interested in the company's capability, yet overall wasted potential, and had.. big plans for it. Upon being let in, they worked on the two first Iterators until they were finished to try and gain everyone's respect for their hard work, which ultimately will work rather well.

RIP was finished first, and due to technical difficulties [Laplace] had a considerable delay before also being finished. So, after their completion, ████████ worked for a while on training RIP's AI, being supposedly forbidden from interaction with [Laplace], [Albatross] being the only one allowed to talk to them. The experiment mentioned earlier was primarily to see how a Iterator would work if they were given bare knowledge of anything, hence why the isolation.

Something known as the "Global Dictionary" was soon enough invented, which [Albatross] refused to show to either of 'their' iterators. HATR, who I'll be addressing as "Hail" from now on, began to talk more and more to the rest of the company, trying to win them over into soon enough realising his plan. They managed to convince around everyone into building a new Iterator, one that would supposedly be better than everyone else's. Soon enough, Hail began to spread propaganda behind [Albatross]'s back, advertising that they could create something amazing if they worked together.

This is around the time that Hail began to become more and more of a tyrant; the time at which TLU began development. TLU, or as is his full name, "Hither To Truth, Left Unanswered", was a rather successful attempt at impressing everyone that hadn't been convinced already into the plan. The construction was kept under wraps for a rather low amount of time before [Albatross] found out, trying to cut off the development of this unauthorized Iterator before they were practically exiled due to holding no power over anyone in the company anymore. The only Ancient that still sided with [Albatross] was one of his closest friends, SC (Or as is his full name, Shining Constellations Through Nomadic Expeditions), who decided to leave the company on their own after [Albatross]' exile. Hail's plan had succeeded, so now; it was time to move on to step two.

TLU was completed, albeit with a quite honest uninterest from practically everyone since they had no purpose in being made now that everyone, except two ancients, had been convinced into joining Hail's side. TLU was soon afterwards abandoned to be forgotten, with communications to anyone outside of the local group being cut off. Though a bit unexpectedly, the harsh treatment from everyone actually left TLU liking [Albatross] and SC more than they liked Hail.

Now that TLU had been finished, Hail began his plan to make a actually perfect Iterator. He began to spread his propaganda outside of the company, trying to get even more talented Ancients into the company to help build something outside of everyone's league, something so perfect even the cycle would bow down. Once he had gathered enough people to begin construction, he and ████████ began working on [Flowr].

[Flowr] was, to actually some people's surprise.. underwhelming. He felt unsatisfied with 'his' creation, quickly moving on to planning their next creation despite the fact some Ancients had actually gotten rather attached to [Flowr].

Oh, and here's a little update on how everyone's doing; Let's just say TLU was.. worse than doing bad. TLU's madness starts quite early on, but this is around the point it goes from just an issue to a relatively worrying issue that will grow into pure insanity. TLU can be explained in about three words; Guilt and Insecurity. They'd grown to feel extremely guilty for [Albatross]' exile, specially due to how similar he was to Hail in some aspects. He was, in some sort of childish way, made to slightly resemble Hail; something he obviously hates and only helps fuel his guilt. Hail partially feels a bit like a authority to him, like a sort of voice he fears instead of hates. How ironic, a snake that's too scared to hiss~!

Hail eventually presented his new plans to ████████, beginning construction on [Capgras]. He was... good, but once again not good enough. HATR still craved to make the perfect creation, beginning to get more and more frustrated with their failure to create the perfect being. They were also beginning to run low on supplies, something rather worrying especially if progress had to be hindered even further which would quite likely cause faith to be lost.

In a attempt to continue their creation shenanigans, Hail decided to, mostly out of spite and hatred, scrap [Laplace]'s materials to make their new creation. ████████ agreed to completely rebuild [Laplace], especially since no one was ever really attached to them. ...Said creation Hail strived so much to create was [Cotard], something he was convinced would be their perfect creation to bring saving to all. By this point, Hail had begun needing tactics pretty much akin to that of a cult, preaching about their supposed success not only for his own ego but for everyone's faith growing.

[Cotard] was actually a relative success, and for once Hail felt.. content. Content; but not quite satisfaction. They'd grown a insatiable greed to create the true solution to the "Great Problem", something he'd also passed down inadvertently onto [Cotard] through pressure. For a while, ████████ stopped developing new Iterators as they gathered materials and just kinda took a break for a while. In the meantime, Hail's dissatisfaction simply grew and grew with a lust for something even better; so they decided to announce work on a new Iterator after a considerable amount of time.

However, the supposed "new Iterator" was actually going to be a rebuild of [Capgras] as Hail had began thinking none of his creations should be allowed imperfection. [Flowr] and TLU were left alone, mainly because they were perfect enough to not need a entire rebuild (And because he knew some people would get angry if [Flowr] was rebuilt). [Capgras]'s rebuilding was actually rather unsupervised, ████████'s employees being trusted enough to not require active guiding from Hail. ...This... went horribly wrong. In the process of rebuilding [Capgras], their processing systems were left active in the new Iterator, resulting in a bit of a issue with [Capgras] remaining partially alive in the new Iterator's systems. This naturally causes the new iterator, SUDOW (Sunshine Under Drifting Orbital Weather), to have a full awareness of just how painful it is to be rebuilt, and a bit too much paranoia.

Oh, quick little "How's everyone doing" update; TLU descended into madness even more! Like, maybe to the point of insanity! [Flowr] was actually considerably jealous of [Cotard], specifically of the amount of attention they get and how ungrateful they are for it. [Cotard] himself is just feeling on the verge of a mental breakdown constantly due to how much pressure and expectation is put onto him as the "Perfect Iterator" by mostly everyone in ████████. In fact, it's thank to all of this pressure and the lingering thought that [Laplace] is still his identity (Something that started mainly due to SUDOW and [Capgras]) that Cotard managed to create a successful organism; Void Hounds. A dog-resembling creature made out of void and a constantly growing body in perfect balance of destruction and creation. Void Hounds were actually partially made due to his desire to destroy himself permanently, a task which they can carry out pretty well due to permanently erasing whatever they eat with their corrosive void fluid effect. ...Thankfully though, almost every Void Hound is contained to roam [Cotard]'s superstructure to destroy it from the inside and to stop them from spreading to the outside world.

Oh, and RIP? ...Well, remember all the way back at the start when I said I'd talk more about [Albatross] later? Well, now is "later"! [Albatross] actually had the belief that the void would eventually consume all, making him incredibly, and maybe even eerily- casual about everything, regardless of the matter. This is a belief that he passed down onto RIP, which led him to research the void above all else. Despite this, RIP grew uninterested on resolving The Great Problem, since it wasn't in his code and wasn't something he was drawn towards at all. After all, why work when all of it will be erased eventually? ...And last but not least, Hail. How's he doing? Well, actually, that leads us perfectly into the next section!

Hail has, by this point, begun getting doubts about what he's doing. He was worried faith would falter in ████████, but it seemed to falter within him the most due to how much he thought he could accomplish, but how little he had actually done in his eyes. Sure it looked wonderful in everyone else's eyes, but to him? It wasn't good enough. And honestly, he'd started to wonder if it was even worth trying anymore. This is around the time the mass ascension happens, which probably implies he's spent a long... LONG time just trying to create perfection. And so far, [Cotard] was the closest he'd gotten.

Though eventually, and in a honestly last ditch effort to create true perfection, he decided to rebuild SUDOW, which was, by the way, mostly shaped around Hail's appearance. ...In a odd kind of metaphorical way, it was almost like he was rebuilding himself to achieve this perfection he so desperately craved to achieve. Regardless of symbolism and such, ████████ gathered for one last time to create [Char] from the scraps of SUDOW, who similarly kept the consciences of his past versions.

[Char] is, to say the least; A goddamn eccentric bastard. Though I'd be willing to say it isn't really his fault, for the most part. Y'see, being rebuilt two times does some stuff to your systems, specifically to try and adapt; So naturally, upon seeing that paranoia didn't work and that the only ones alive were the perfect and smug ones, he subconsciously began acting more self-centered, following Hail's every order and working restlessly to solve The Great Problem in a attempt to set example for everyone else. Accidentally, though, the more egotistical he became the more he ended up pushing away just about everyone except Hail, with even [Capgras] and SUDOW not getting along with him. In fact, part of Hail's instructions included harassing TLU and RIP, mostly out of spite he still held towards those two. ...After all, they're the closest to imperfect creations 'he' has, and 'he' never quite got the chance to rebuild either of them, so the only way he could manage to make sure they knew how much he hates them is to channel his spite through [Char], who had to carry out his orders or risk destruction.

████████ very quickly disbanded after that, the Ancients beginning their mass ascension afterwards. However, [Albatross] and SC, seeing how the Iterators would be left unsupervised, decided to do a small favor for the two dearest to him, pretty much removing any taboos TLU and RIP had as well as managing to unlock TLU's communications to finally allow him to talk to others outside the local group. ...And, you may think the story is nearing it's end since the ancients are gone, but frankly I'm afraid I have several more paragraphs to write about the next 3 Iterators in the local group and the one that gets involved, so let's move on to that.

TLU, now capable of doing just about anything to himself and having reached the peak of their insanity quite a bit ago, enter a "mild" stage of desperation about wanting to finally rid himself of these thoughts once and for all. Issue being, "these thoughts" are his entire life, and he knows there's no good way of naturally moving on, so he decides to do the next idea; Completely rebuilding himself into their "ideal version". Through probably quite a painful process and the help of automation, they manage to change their puppet and processing systems into a essentially new Iterator except for the superstructure remaining the exact same. ..Though unfortunately, part of his apologetic thoughts still somewhat move on to this new Iterator, [Chemical], who in a attempt to help decides to split part of his resources into a new Iterator and also rebuilds [Char] to try and give them some closure.

This quite quickly backfires, the rebuilt before of [Char], [Pro/Con], having to deal with four voices all talking over each other including his own, at pretty much every single moment of their life, and the split version of [Chemical]'s systems, [Bones], having barely enough processing capability or memory (due to their memory being exclusive to their puppet and lacking the capability a full superstructure would give) to normally go on with their life. Regardless, [Chemical] decides to take responsibility as the parental figure for both of them, soon enough turning to trying to speak with Iterators outside of their local group.

He soon enough reaches a point of relative fame across some groups due to having managed to "create" two Iterators (Despite both of them being made off of pre-existing superstructures and puppets) and having rebuilt himself. They end up nearly falling in love with positive attention, since it's something neither he or TLU ever got to experience, slowly becoming more neglectful of their supposed adoptive family and only using them as trophies of some sort to gain fame. Despite this, he still monitors both of them regularly (Mainly [Pro/Con], though) to make sure they're doing "fine", or at least fine by his standards. [Pro/Con] is, in fact, not fine; and this is something that'll require a small detour to talk about a character relevant to them.

...So, despite not being based off of Will Wood, unlike everyone else, he's a character I need to mention regardless due to story relevance; PC! Also known as Painted Charm, he's a Generation 4 created by a drug selling company. Their sense of happiness is heavily fucked up from the moment he was built, believing happiness is smiling and anything else is either sadness or anger; negative, and as such bad, emotions. He primarily worked as the face of the company, taking communications and advertising as well as simultaneously being a massive drug factory. However, briefly after the Ancients' ascension, he decided to begin giving the drugs away for free since money had no value anymore, and using drones to find potential customers due to the considerably lower rate of customers ever since the Ancients ascended. Also, since he was no longer bound to their company's orders and didn't need to stay in his chamber all the time, he began paying more individual attention to each customer, keeping track of small notes for all of them such as their preferred method of pleasure, their favorite creature, boundaries, and so on.

[Pro/Con], looking for a escape from his own systems, ended up meeting PC, whom naturally offered the drugs still being made in their factory as a "reliable option" to get rid of any sort of intrusive thought, which is what they thought was troubling him. Said drugs, or rather processed mushroom spores, had properties which made it considerably hard to think properly, a trait which helped shut up everyone else that was stuck in his head. He practically became addicted, needing to constantly carry bottles around to even live normally without being overwhelmed; which obviously made it so that it wasn't long until [Chemical] found out.

Seeing this as a flaw, [Chemical] began, well, "reprimanding" him for his actions- If shouting violently and lighting on fire can even count as reprimanding. The two of them as well as [Bones] quickly became what can only described as a horribly dysfunctional family, with [Chemical] still neglecting the both of them on just about anything other than [Pro/Con]'s addiction, and distancing themselves from the still alive local group. Which, speaking of, I'm sorry to say that [Cotard] is by this point either dead or in horrid agony and slowly deteriorating from the void hounds. ...Quite literally dementia...

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allmpoems · 28 days

Text

Understandable Identity [11/9/23]

my hair is in two tight braids

at the bottom, they merge into one

I didn't do them by myself

And I adore the feeling of getting them done

By someone else

My dog has a hot pink collar

It complements the colors mixed in her hur

she paddles up next to me

she tilts her head, asking,

"I love you; what are you doing?"

What am I doing?

I'm keeping myself grounded

everything should feel very real

not philosophical

and nothing like last night

I had three presentations this week

I abhor the whole ordeal

but it feels really good

to look really real

to look like I know what I'm doing

My ducks are in a row

but sometimes that row is a circle

I get things done

I always get them done

just with an added layer of stress

I sit, I read, I go, I return

it's simple and normal and beyond

but is there more, like everyone says?

or is it just a

Dream?

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artzychic27 · 2 years

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What do you think of a fic where the other Austins are doing and saying alot of bad stuff about Tomassian (since he left the group after Love bug) and at some day Jean hears it and snaps

So he gets akumatized (maybe something related to theater)

An the whole thing is like a big show and stuff, with alot of acting and things like that

And Jean always being a gentleman with Tomassian and always calling him "mon amour"

This idea deserves one of these

And this will be my third Musical Theater-related Akuma! 😍

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #love this #this is pure #fanfic idea #writing this #need this in my life

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sydneyofalltrades · 10 months

Text

I felt the urge to write depressed Constance so here’s a post-canon/everyone lives scenario

INTENSE TW for depression, S/A, and s/h

Drowning. The feeling of drowning.

It had Constance in a chokehold. She was drowning in pressure, responsibilities, the voices always telling her she was never good enough. And she never will be.

Constance Blackwood, the nicest girl in town.

Constance Blackwood, the most secretive girl in town.

It was three weeks after the accident, and the crew went out for a picnic. It was supposed to be another day of faking it till she made it, and so far it was working.

“So I was telling Ricky about how I don’t remember much about that whole limbo thing,” Penny was saying, “But allegedly I was floating? In the goddamn air?”

“Exactly,” Ricky signed, “Your song was so eerie too, I loved it.”

Noel rolled his eyes. “Say what you want, mine was the most flamboyant.”

“Yes, and the most explicit,” Ocean snapped. She crossed her arms as she said this.

“You’re the one who tried censoring ‘motherfucking,’” Noel argued, “And called us all losers.”

That shut Ocean up. Mischa looked up from his phone.

“Why isn’t no one eating,” he asked. Indeed, the spread of food they had prepared had been untouched.

“We were waiting for Connie’s cupcakes,” Penny said, “Those little pockets of pure heaven.”

Constance looked up. “Huh?”

Ocean frowned. “Your cupcakes? You did bring them, right?”

Constance nodded. “Y-yeah, here.”

She took out the Tupperware container and opened it. “Dig in.”

The others took the sweets and began eating, complimenting the girl on her perfect desserts.

“Ugh, it’s melting in my mouth, I love it,” Penny exclaimed.

“Glad you like it,” Constance said with a smile, then began picking at her food.

Ricky stared at her for a while. This wasn’t right, she was usually peppy and cheerful. But now she’s… different.

“But on the topic of each others’ songs,” Ocean was saying, “Misch, yours was truly heartwarming.”

“The rap, right,” Mischa asked, devouring his food. Ocean shook her head.

“No, the one about your fiancée. I’m sorry for calling her imaginary, you really love her.”

Mischa smiled. “Thanks, Ozi.”

Constance watched her friends as they conversed, and she joined in everyone once in a while, but she still felt like her head was deep underwater.

After they began packing up, Ricky tapped her shoulder. Constance turned to her.

“You okay, Connie?”

She nodded, plastering a smile. “More than okay, I’m fine! Why do you ask?”

Ricky shrugged. “You just seemed.. distant. You know you can talk to us if anything’s wrong, right?”

Constance nodded. “I do. I’m alright, Rick, really.”

“Space Jesus,” Mischa called, “You finished eating yet?”

Ricky smiled and Constance pushed his wheelchair to the others. She laughed as Noel dramatically retold their tale to Penny, who was still in mild disbelief, and poked fun at Ocean and her pouty face. She could hide it, just for a little longer…

***

“Connie!”

Constance came down from her room. “Yeah, Mom?”

Her mother smiled. “Hey, baby, can you take Conrad to the park? I’m busy the whole day at the café and he really needs to burn off some energy.”

“Sure! Come on, Conrad!”

Constance’s one-year-old brother toddled over to her and clutched her legs.

“Con-Con!”

She smiled and picked him up as they went to the park.

While she watched him play, she listened to music. The booming loudness of it made her feel numb. Less numb than the drowning, but still.

“Con-Con! Look!”

Conrad held up something and Constance squinted. “Is that a seashell?”

Conrad nodded. “Yeah!”

Constance took it in her hands. It looked authentic, but there weren’t any seas in Saskatchewan.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s yours!”

Constance smiled. “Oh, thanks Conrad.”

“Hey, do I know you?”

Constance looked up. Him. She grabbed Conrad’s hand and they ran. Constance didn’t know where, but eventually found herself at Ricky’s place.

She rang the doorbell.

“Connie? What’s-“

She and Conrad raced inside before Ricky could finish signing.

“We were in the area and felt like coming over,” she said. Conrad was confused.

“Hi, Rick. Why’re we here, Con-Con?”

Constance felt the drowning pressure turn to a tsunami in her chest.

“I can’t- I can’t-“

“Constance. What’s wrong?”

She didn’t know. But she knew.

“Rick… I think I was-“

She tugged the sleeve of her sweatshirt. Ricky was confused.

“You don’t need to wear that, it’s like 90 degrees, Con.”

“I just-“

“Con-Con! I wanna go back!”

The tsunami swallowed her whole, and she broke down in tears. She curled up in a ball on the floor and just cried.

Ricky slid out of his wheelchair to comfort her, but Conrad was confused.

“Con-Con…”

Constance wiped her nose and Ricky saw the faintest scar on her forearm.

He pointed to her sleeve. “Con, can I?”

She buried her face in her hands, not wanting to see their reaction.

Ricky gently tugged on the sleeve and saw a slew of scars all over the poor girl’s arm. He checked the other and saw more, some still red.

“Constance.. what happened?”

She didn’t respond. Conrad sat down next to her and leaned against her and Ricky just hugged her. He didn’t need a reason to comfort their close friend.

***

“And we need to make a campaign! Something that screams teens lives matter.”

It was after-school. The choir was chatting on the gym, no choir practice for them because Father Marcus was still recovering from his heart attack.

“Ozi, if teen lives really did matter, we wouldn’t be going to school,” Penny deadpanned. That remark earned her a high five from Noel.

“Guys, please! We need to show that the accident isn’t just a one-time thing, this can happen anytime.”

“Yeah, but not everyone gets a chance to come back to life from it.”

While Ocean and the others argued, Ricky was signing with Constance.

“I know you don’t want me to tell them,” he began, “But this is unhealthy, Con. You’re cutting yourself and distancing yourself from your support group, and you’re hurting. A lot.”

“I can fix it,” Constance signed back, “I know I can fix this, I don’t need to bother the others.”

“Depression isn’t something that can be flipped off with a switch. Now I’m not telling you how to live your life, but I’m just saying this as your friend. When you need someone, I’m here. We’re here. We always will be.”

Constance took a breath. “Guys?”

The rest of them turned to her, and Noel nudged Mischa, who looked up from his phone.

“Y-you guys remember when I was talking about life before we died? About how I realized how great everything is?”

The others nodded.

“Your speech was beautiful, Connie. What about it?”

Constance hesitated, but Ricky nodded with a smile.

“I- I told you guys about that carnie I lost my virginity to. And uh- it- it wasn’t pretty.”

She bit her lip to keep it from quivering. Ocean placed a hand on her arm.

“Connie, what are you saying?”

Then a sickening thought crept into her brain. “Constance… did he..?”

Constance didn’t answer. She felt ashamed, shamed that she couldn’t keep it to herself.

Penny stood up. “Constance, he assaulted you?”

She just started crying. Again. But this time, Ocean hugged her. Penny hugged her. Noel and Mischa and Ricky all hugged her.

And in that moment, she knew she was protected. She had support.

Constance Blackwood, the most depressed girl in town

Constance Blackwood, the most loved girl in town

#ride the cyclone #constance blackwood #i had so much fun #writing this #which is weird #tw depression #tw sa #sydneys weirdness

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