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parkersbliss · 2 years

Note

Hey! If it’s alright with you, may I request five x reader dating headcanons with Wanda!reader?

yes yes yes!! love this concept hehe

Power Couple | F. Hargreeves

pairing: five hargreeves x wanda! female reader

wc; 831

warnings: violence maybe? cursing

synopsis: five doesn’t like being the least powerful in the room, but he’ll make an exception for you

a/n: I love wanda and five my little homicidal babes <3

requests: CLOSED

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt list

—

first he definitely has to get over himself

five is used to being the most powerful in the room

now he’s like…

second

which isn’t bad

unless you’re five

and he’s five

so it IS bad

he resented you when you first met during the apocalypse

you and your perfect smile and your smart thinking and being the smarter person in the room

OH AND MORE POWERFUL

but you know, his options are limited for friends in the apocalypse

and then he found out you could manipulate reality and like everything else

but he liked when you could change the wasteland of the apocalypse into a flower garden

even if only for a few minutes

it brought him peace

so he sucked up him pride and decided to be your friend

and eventually you and your perfect little smile turned into more than friends

and then he found out your powers were like

well there were a lot

like a lot a lot

and each time he was like like ??? there’s more ????

so obviously, he knows about reality warping, energy manipulation, telekineses

but wait there’s more

transmutation

you could turn rocks into beds to sleep on

granted that was actually read hard for you so five never asked for much more

he was more like “a bed… from rock?”

and you just breathed out a “yeah”

“any other abilities I should know about?”

“jesus christ I’m actually gonna commit arson if she has any other cooler powers”

five’s mouth fell open “you can read minds?!”

“telepathy”

five’s mouth falls further, if possible

“and before you can ask, yes I can see your memories and yes I’m speaking in your head”

five damn near passes out

AND THEN

you’re both next to and in front of him

“hi again” you whispered in his ear

and then you waved in front of him

“what the fuck”

honestly?

he might just be completely smitten for you now

he’s just in awe

poor boy

and very slowly you revealed more of your powers

after being recruited by the commission and sent on the field

five’s personal favorite was conjuring bc twins!!

he could conjure flowers for you and you’d get him a marshmallow peanut butter sandwich

you could switch weapons mid battle with a simple snap

also you fly???

you don’t really like to but you CAN

also can teleport too

and it just turns into a very hard game of tag

you’d both appear, and disappear and probably trash the house in your little competition

you let five win most of the time

just bc it means he tackles you to the couch with kisses and “victory!”

you didn’t wanna tell him you could feel where he was going next

and that’s why five basically worships you

(but he’d never say that out loud)

he did find the mental manipulation creepy

it reminded him of allison

except you didn’t have to speak so it’s like

you were unstoppable basically

he’s just wow wow wow

you’re so pretty, and powerful and all his

you guys were perfect partners in missions, using both your powers to take out enemies

he liked never having to worry about you

and he also liked how sweet you were with just him

and vice versa

he loved being able to cuddle up to you at night, summon some popcorn and a good movie

he just doesn’t know how he would’ve survived without you

you made the apocalypse bearable with your magic

also quite literally surviving in general

the amount of times he’s been shot at only for you to block it or send the bullet the other way

or when someone has him pinned to the ground

and with a nod of your head they’re flying out the window

yeahhhh he gets himself into a lot of trouble and you’re always there to help

pretty sure if the commission did yearbooks you’d be voted power couple

literally

you guys did everything in sync and going against ya’ll was a losing battle

“do you ever think about how you’re basically the most powerful person on earth?” he asked

“i don’t know. It’s weird to think about.”

“you’re quite literally a goddess and you’re all mine” he whispered

you smile “all yours”

and then he’d attack you with kisses

“do you think our kids would have superpowers?”

“kids?”

five just smiles “I’m gonna marry you (y/n)”

“yeah?”

“yeah”

pause

“so we can have superhuman babies. just think how powerful they’d be with your powers and my time travel!”

“and your attitude?”

“hey! you used to be quite the devil on the field. may I remind you—,”

you wave your hand and five couldn’t speak

“don’t remind me”

you release your hold

“you are crazy overpowered, babe”

“do you want superhuman kids or not?”

“i love you and all your crazy abilities”

“mhmmm thought so”

the kids?

a set of twins

or as five liked to call them

“superbabies! YES!”

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreaves x reader #tua five x reader #tua x reader #tua fic #tua season three #tua #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy season 2 #aidan gallagher #umbrella academy five #five headcanons #five x reader #five x you #five x y/n

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incognitopolls · 6 months

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do you get a lot of submissions for the same questions? if you get a submission similar to a poll you’ve already done, do you post it, or discount it? are there submissions that follow the guidelines that you choose not to make into polls? if so, what sorts of factors might cause you to reject or pass on a poll?

this blog is great by the way, thank you for running it :-)

I do get a fair number of repeat submissions. A lot of those have been for things that are actually still in the queue, so there's no way for people to know that it's already been submitted. Simple answer: if it's a repeat, I ignore it.

More nuanced answer: If it's basically the same as a poll that's currently in the queue, I'll check if the repeat submission adds any options or details to the question, and add those to the queued poll if possible. If it's a different question in the same vein or if one question is broad and one is narrow, I'll probably run each one separately. If it's a repeat of something that's already been posted, I'll ignore it.

The exception: The handful of questions that were posted very early on this blog had a very small response pool. Some of those questions have been resubmitted recently and I've decided to repost them since they'll likely get quite a bit more traction now.

Other rejections: There are occasional submissions that are not repeat questions but which I choose not to post, yes. The vast majority of submissions get posted, but some things I've chosen not to publish have included:

Polls that are clearly copied from another poll/tournament blog, e.g. "who did you vote for in Best Blorbo Of The Year?". I think the results on the Best Blorbo Blog answer that question already, and I'm not interested in being involved in tournaments.

Polls that I think are going to stir up genuine harm, invite violent or hateful speech into the comments or my inbox, or trivialize serious current events.

Polls where the submitter is just fishing for people to agree with their unpopular opinion, e.g. "who else thinks that pumpkin spice lattes suck?". When I can, I'll try to spin these in a more neutral direction, e.g. "what's your opinion on pumpkin spice lattes?", but that's not always possible.

For the most part, though, people submitting polls have been considerate, which I appreciate! Like I said, the majority of submissions do get posted.

And thank you/you're welcome!

#not polls

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bootleg-nessie · 1 month

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Nessie, what are your thoughts on Joe Biden VS Donald Trump, as well as the 2024 election as a whole?

I’ve said this a thousand times before, but choosing between Biden and Trump is like choosing whether to microwave a baby or bake it in the oven. I voted for Biden the first time but only because the alternative was Donald fucking Trump. I was told he was “the lesser of two evils” and I’m sure he probably still is, but I can’t excuse his involvement in the Palestinian genocide so I won’t be voting for him a second time. The two party system has failed us yet again, which is why I’m voting socialist in this election instead. I know Claudia and Karina won’t win but I simply refuse to vote for either major candidate, and this way we can hopefully help to normalize voting 3rd party so that one day a 3rd party candidate might have a legitimate chance of winning a major election.

We’ve been alternating between microwaving babies and baking them in the oven for hundreds of years. Everyone thinks that “oh, maybe the microwave won’t kill the baby this time,” and to be fair, sometimes it doesn’t, but they all still seem to think that we need to pick one or the other because that’s the way we’ve always done it. Nobody’s listening to the few people standing in the corner who are suggesting maybe we SHOULDN’T still be cooking the baby or even have been cooking it in the first place, as was intended by the baby’s creators. Literally all it takes is enough people realizing this, and eventually we can stop cooking babies altogether (yes, I know that in reality some of them are basically advocating for deep frying the baby but ignore them, I’m talking about the ones who don’t want to cook it at all).

Allow me to frame it another way: when you get shot, putting pressure on the wound is the best thing to do in that moment, but you can only put pressure on it for so long. You’ll live longer by packing the wound with gauze than if you did nothing, but it’s a very stressful and strained existence. However, if you don’t do anything about it you’ll still bleed out, just more slowly.

On the other hand, you can try to remove the bullet so that you can stitch up the wound. You’ll bleed a lot more in that moment and it’s way harder to stitch up a wound than it is keep changing the bandage, but ultimately you’ll heal. You’re going to have to do it eventually, so you might as well do it before you lose even more blood and before things get even worse. It’s not the quicker or easier option by any means, but it’s the one that leads to the best possible outcome.

Edit: I’ve heard it all before, I promise there’s nothing some stranger on the internet can say that will change my mind. I’m sorry if that upsets you but it’s my constitutional right to vote for who I want

#ask nessie #nessieposting #nessie on drugs #r/196 #196 #r/196archive #/r/196 #rule #meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #politics #us politics #donald trump #joe biden #claudia and karina 2024 #democrats #republicans

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existslikepristin · 8 months

Text

I edited this post with my (essentially) finished paint job as well as a rundown of how I got crushed in the first game, in case you're curious to hear about my utter failure that kept me from posting this for a week, lol. If you're not, there's smut after this Keep Reading line

Tags: NSFW, S.M.U.T., genie, anal

(Story Index)

On the table again…

You rub at your temples and finish stepping out of your shorts. You’re hearing a lot of things that feel rather unnecessary, and frankly, you’re more than a bit tired. “Can we just… let’s go with the table again.”

Joy snorts back a laugh and nods. “Sure thing, master.” And with that, she floats into the air again, drifts horizontally over your head, and settles onto her back on the table. The mug of tea lands next to her face and a curly straw appears, allowing her to sip at it without getting up. She points her legs straight toward the ceiling, blocking her face from view, and, like a dancer—imagine that—, she slowly spreads them to either side. Her ass is still plugged, and her lack of a vagina is still very weird.

“Not trying to be presumptuous with the missionary position, master. Just thought you might like to see how my titties bounce this time. Or feel them. They’re yours to do with as you please, after all. Like the rest of me is.”

You step up and pull the plug out of her ass, taking a bit less time to appreciate the beauty of the action than before, as you’re just in it for the fucking this time. You take note of the brief deluge of your cum that follows, but ultimately pay it no mind, shoving your cock past it and into Joy’s butt.

For a second, Joy gargles sensually, but then swallows the mouthful of tea and moans instead.

It’s just as effortless as the first time, fucking Joy’s asshole. You glide in and out, getting massaged all the way. You could get used to this.

And yup, you’re used to it! You’ve already grown accustomed to it. It’s only been like half an hour since meeting Joy, and you can see yourself buried in her ass for probably forever. Not that you’ll literally do that. Probably.

Joy pulls her legs up a bit, and you take in the view except for her weird lack of pussy. Her thighs jiggle with each of your thrusts, her lips gape as she pants, and her boobs tempt you with their bounces. She did specifically say she was getting on her back so you could see them, and she did say they were yours, so…

You lean forward, scooping Joy’s tits into your palms. They’re just barely too large for your hands, which, as you think about it, doesn’t quite make sense as a measurement for boobs. It’s not clear exactly how you’re supposed to define a handful. Like, Joy’s tits aren’t that big. If you had to guess, they’re even a little smaller than the average (or so you assume from all the porn you watch). With the way they spread out from your fingers a bit as you squeeze though, you're not so sure you can call them a handful or even know exactly where to measure from. The bottom of the tit is pretty easy to determine, but where it ends on top is more nebulous. You could measure a handful if they were upright and you were behind her, cupping them. You suspect then she’d be just about a handful, but so could any number of other boob sizes. You might have to start specifying between heaping, rounded, and leveled handfuls perhaps, like in recipes. Then, of course, you’d need to take into account the size of your hand—

“Something on your mind, master?”

Options:

Yes. It’s time to go to a strip club, so you can take some scientific measurements. Right after you’re finished here.

Oh shit, right! You’re supposed to be meeting with a friend of yours tonight! Right after you’re finished here.

Suddenly you want to bake something. Tell her to help you bake something. Right after you’re finished here.

You’re still thinking about other exotic fucking locations. That was the second place vote… You don’t even have to finish here.

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 12

If you thought I'd make it easy for my boys to be together....honey, you've got another thing coming.

I'm so sorry 🙃

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 11, 12, 13 Word Count: 3349 (average 25 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racisms. Steamy scenes will come to those who are patient. :) All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

The Council was a group of old men who should have probably died or retired ages ago and they still believed their opinions mattered to generations much younger than them. I sat at the front of the long, rectangular room next to the seat of my father. There were nine council members, five on one side, four on the other, all regarding each other like they were better than all the others. I wondered if any of them even considered anyone else in this room their friend, or if they were all in this just to barter their way of life into this town.

I was equal parts frustrated by their traditional methodology and scared at the power they still held over a society that had evolved since their time. They were capable of so much simply because they had climbed up the ranks until there was nowhere else to go.

My father had been summoning me to each Council meeting for the past week and I found myself bored to tears each time. I contributed very little to their conversations, and I already knew that I was doomed to disappoint all of them again today.

Most of the items of business were small, inconsequential things like adding more roads, where to expand for more homes as more people come to our town. With each one we offered our vote, when there really wasn’t much to vote on. I found my fingers itching to be playing with something other than the fringe on the hem of my sleeve.

I couldn’t deny that my father - despicable as he is - was a committed leader. His attention was fully invested in each person’s comments, and he weighed all of the options equally.

My father was an intelligent man, and a deep thinker and I think that’s why it hurt me so much every time that he didn’t seem to have the heart to make sense of me. I wasn’t worth his time mulling over and understanding - to him I was simply broken and in need of his repair.

Time moved slowly, but I did my best to keep my mind on the present conversation. I was surprised that my father didn’t ask more of me since he insisted that I be there, but I was also grateful to not be put at the center of attention in front of these old men.

After a long laundry list of things, my father cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, “Council Orin, I seem to recall you mentioned to me an issue you were having in the Northern district?”

I watched closely as the man named Orin nodded sagely towards the Duke. “Ah yes, thank you, Your Grace. Gentlemen, I’d like to discuss the matter of a newcomer that’s been in town. A well respected innkeeper came to me with some concern that an orc has been staying in his inn for the past nine days now. He doesn’t appear to be here for any particular reason besides to loiter in our streets. We’ve been good enough to attract very little of the other folk in Faerun, and I wonder if there is something to be done with this newcomer?”

I gripped the armchair of my seat as I was forced to listen to these men discuss their distaste for orcs. With one mention of Drun’s race, they suddenly all felt it was their right and permission to exclaim their opinion - all of the despicable and completely wrong. They were talking about Drunrag, my Drun. They called him unclean, and one of the cursed races because they had sided centuries ago with the enemy. A long dead enemy that Drun had nothing to do with. They were formulating plans to get him out of town. I had to say something, but I couldn’t, not when I looked over and saw the way my father was watching me with such a smug look.

He shifted in his seat again and cleared his throat, the room fell into expectant silence.

My Father spoke, “Altan, son, what do you say is the best course of action? Perhaps your youth can help us see a different light?”

I refused to look back at him. He was mocking me. I knew he was cornering me to fold and not say anything. I knew if I said what I felt, it would fall on deaf and racist ears. Instead I sat straight and held my fingers tight like claws on the armchair. “Perhaps it would be wise to avoid making a rash decision until we learn why he’s here.”

“The innkeeper says the orc won’t speak when he talks to him. Says he’s practically mute.” Councilman Orin responded.

Another Councilman jumped in, “I thought I saw him working with that Dragonborn Doxxah in the Northern District, perhaps they’re plotting something.”

I couldn’t believe them. Doxxah had been here for years and had proven themselves again and again to be an honest, hardworking contributor to the town. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by another round of the men exclaiming their dislike of Dragonborns, of Orc of all the races they felt uncomfortable around.

“It’s not as if we don’t want them in our town.” One of them said, “But it must be understood that our town was built centuries ago as a fortress to protect our ancestors from the dangers that these very same races brought outside our day every day. Do we ignore our past and history just to embrace these newcomers into our town?”

“I don’t see any reason why we should be the same as our ancestors from hundreds of years ago.” I replied. They all looked at me with furrowed brows. “Perhaps Berdusk is more than about keeping tradition, but about making traditions that provide comfort and safety for all folks who pass through. Neither Doxxah or this orc you speak of has caused any true offense that warrants this amount of distrust towards them. Perhaps change is not so bad for a town and we simply need more time.”

My father tapped his finger on his armrest, “So you would erase our history from us?”

I shook my head, “That’s not what I'm suggesting at all. I see it as an expansion of what we could offer.”

“But we can’t please everyone, young lord.” One man said, “We are not as impressive of a town as those larger, more advanced cities like Waterdeep, or Baldur’s Gate. We cannot easily accommodate them and our people would not be comfortable to change for them. Wouldn’t it be safer for them to not be here?”

“So you’re saying we force this gentleman to vacate our town?”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a gentlemen, young lord. He’s an orc, he’s from the wild plains in the South. They’re undignified and so uncouth there.”

My voice was shaking as I spoke. “I don’t see any sound reason to kick him out.”

“It’s for the safety of the town. You must remember that the North District is where families live. An orc living there is…well…it’s preposterous and it cannot stand.”

Tradition. Family. Protecting what’s always been. These were the grumblings that this town rested everything on. It was a narrative that had pervaded and infected the way the Council viewed anything. They had used the same disgusting rant on my mother when she had tried to change things here to help her children and other people's children. Remembering her then made my blood turn hot and I couldn’t listen to any of that bullshit anymore. I sprung to my feet, my chair making a loud clatter as it fell back. The room fell silent.

“You are the ones who are preposterous. Look at you! You all live in denial that times have changed since you were young. Times have changed since our ancestors. Time changes people, it changes us. We have a chance to be more than just Berdusk, a town where all Men live and thrive. Why must it just be humans? Because you’re more comfortable looking at someone who looks and thinks exactly like you! It's easier, isn't it? It’s too uncomfortable to have to consider that other races could be better at your job than you! It's too uncomfortable to have to recognize that maybe your traditions are worse than outright violence. You don’t like that the world is changing to make you less important and you would drive out every last race that isn’t human if you had the chance, wouldn’t you? Including me.”

The silence in the room was deafening and none of the Councilmen would meet my eyes as I let them have a taste of what I thought of each of them.

I turned to look at my father, who was looking at me with a smug look.

“I’m dismissing myself from this meeting.” I said, before stepping down and racing out of the room.

I caught the eye of Commander Gideon who was standing outside the door into the room. He didn’t move, but I caught something in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. I didn’t bother dwelling on it as I continued my march out of the room, out of the building and down the steps towards the town below me.

The guards weren’t prepared as I barreled passed them and down the street. They tried to follow me, but I shook them off quickly as I wound through the crowds and into another crowded street. My head was pounding, my heart was racing and I only had one place I wanted to be.

I burst into Doxxah’s bakery, out of breath and heaving. “Where is he?” I asked.

Doxxah broke into a grin and pointed behind them. “In the back, young lord.”

I didn’t wait for permission to walk around the counter. I wove my way through the various obstacles until I found my way into the back where the room was so much more warm with all of the ovens burning. There was Drun, covered in flour and sweat. He hadn’t seen me and was bent over a tray of rolls, sprinkling a dusting of cinnamon over the top of them. He was biting his bottom lip and was deep in concentration.

All of the tension inside of me loosened at being able to see him. He was adorable in that moment, and I would have loved to take in the image of him like this, but I needed him. I cleared my throat and waited for him to look at me.

His eyes, his beautiful stormy grey eyes found mine and he raised to his full height.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. He looked behind me with a worried expression. He seemed afraid to approach me.

“I just needed to see you.” I said. “I’m…” I felt hot tears as I looked at him. Why couldn’t they see him the way I saw him? He was gentle, he was beautiful, he carried himself so carefully and thoughtfully. How could someone look at him - sprinkling cinnamon on a roll with such care for gods’ sake- and tell me he was of a lesser race? There was nothing about Drunrag that I didn't find lovely and safe and good. I closed the distance and barreled into him, wrapping my arms around him with my head buried in his chest. “Please, let’s go.”

“Where?” He asked.

“Anywhere,” I said, my voice was muffled in his chest and I felt like some pathetic child.

I felt Drun’s hands settle around me. Holding me around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. His body was so warm.

“Will we be safe?” he asked.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to answer.

“Altan.” he said and he pulled me back so he could look at me, he took my hand and placed it on his chest. Oh all of the nine hells consume me, my name on his lips was sin. Gods I needed him. “Do you feel it?” he asked, using the same words I had said to him.

And I felt it, the quick beating of his heart. It was strong and steady and purposeful. I pressed my hands there, feeling comfort in its power.

“Do you understand?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Do you trust us?” He asked.

“I trust us.” I said. “But my father will never allow me to be with you. We’ll never be safe.” I looked up at him, “The city intends to kick you out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they plan to do worse. If I can’t go with you, then promise me you’ll go and be safe.”

He shook his head, “Not without you.”

“Then let’s go.” I said. “I’ll leave it all behind, right now.”

I heard Doxxah’s throat clear behind me and I whirled around to see Commander Gideon standing next to them.

“Your grace.” He said, his voice was gentle. “Your father asked that I get you…he wanted me to inform you that you should say your goodbyes now.”

It was a threat. Say goodbye to your lover and come back repentant or face the punishment. My body tensed and I resisted moving.

“It’s alright, Altan.” Drun said softly, his hand was on my arm, and he gently coaxed me to return my attention to him.

I nodded, my face wet with tears. “Drun…I love you.”

He nodded, his hand tightened around me. “And I you.” He leaned forward and his forehead was pressed to mine. “I’m yours, djenifad. Don’t give up on me.”

He pushed me gently towards the door and I resisted every time. I saw the pain reflected in his eyes as I was being pulled away again from him. “Drun, Drunrag. I love you. I love you...” I could only say it again and again as Commander Gideon took my arm and gently began to pull me away. Drun was standing there, watching me and I saw a faint glint of wet light in his eyes.

Commander Gideon was gentle as he pulled me discreetly into the carriage that was waiting outside the bakery’s steps. Of course there were still many eyes on us as I pulled myself in.

“Commander,” I managed to say, struggling to stay composed. “What does my father intend to do to him?”

He remained calm, and he was gentle in his answer, “The Duke did not make any mention of the young orc, only to return you home.”

Somehow, that left me more scared, but I could do nothing else but nod and utter my gratitude to him. He was being surprisingly gentle and kind about all of this.

Doxxah stood at the door, but not before approaching me and placing in my hands a small box. “He made this one, he added so much cinnamon I couldn’t sell them. I think they’re for you.”

I laughed before immediately coughing and choking on my tears. My Drun, he remembered I loved cinnamon. I couldn’t speak. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. Doxxah closed the door and backed away, waving gently at me. They didn’t say anything, but I saw an ally in them. They would take care of Drun while I couldn’t be by his side.

The ride was silent, uncomfortable and the Commander was once again patient and gentle as he told me that I was to be escorted to the Duke’s chambers to meet with him. In all of this, I could sense a reluctance in the Commander’s actions. I’m sure he felt a bit like a babysitter and could easily resent me for making his job such a headache, but he continued to remain neutral and impassive.

My father’s chambers was a room I only saw when I was in trouble and I only ever associated it with bad memories. I never remembered seeing it until I started to disobey my father’s rules and resist his instructions for me, and then I would be taken there to be given a stern talking to. When stern talkings to didn’t work for him, it turned into ridicule, chastisement and sometimes physical punishment. I hated that room.

The room was all dark wood panels, red velvet curtains that kept the room dark and moody. He had little furniture in there, just a round room that was dark and shadowy. When the Commander let me walk in, he waited outside and I stepped in alone.

“You made quite the impression in the Council meeting today.” The Duke said. He was sitting at a chair, a scroll in his hand that he was reading.

My jaw was tight as I took in the sight. “You can do anything you want to me, but you can’t hurt him, do you understand?”

“By our laws, we have no grounds to do anything to him yet.” My father said coolly, not looking up from his readings. “But if I hear or see that he has touched you in any way…I can promise you that I will remove him from your life in one fell swoop and ruin any chance of you seeing him again. I have him right where I want him to keep an eye on him. And you, my son, will be kept under a more severe supervision. So I know where you will be at all times. Be careful of your actions.”

“Why is it so important to you to control me?” I asked, fighting back the emotion in my voice. I had to stay in control. “There is no love lost between us. Why must we suffer ourselves through this? I’ll never be the person you want me to be. Just let me go, let me be happy with him. I’ll never speak your name again. I’ll change my name if I must. But we don’t have to keep doing this anymore.”

“You ungrateful, insolent boy.” My father seethed, “You have been given everything since the day you were born and I have been the one to give it to you. I could have taken you from your mother as soon as I saw how she was turning your mind against me. But I let her keep you. You were always hers and I was gracious enough to let it be that way. But she is gone and you are mine now, and I will see you thanking me for the mercy I continue to show you.”

“I’m not grateful.” I spat, “How can I be grateful when you intentionally keep me from being who I am? Just…please…let us go.”

He sighed, feigning exhaustion. “I know the moment I set either of you free, you’ll be crawling right back to each other. I see it in both your eyes, you're sick for each other.”

“I’m not sick, I’ve never been sick. This is my choice.” I pleaded back, “Your Grace…Father. I love him, he means more to me than my own life.”

His eyes became wild at those words, “You would bring yourself this low to get the attention you so crave? If you desire to be nothing more than a whore, then I will find you someone better than this. You depraved child.” He rose to his feet. “I do not see how you became so wrong as you grew, but this would disappoint even your mother to see you as wanton as you are for that beast. You will not see him again, and if either of you seek each other out, it will cost him his freedom.”

I flinched, the words bit into me and I felt tears form once again on the surface of my eyelids, but I did not blink, nor back down, “So what will you have of me, now that I am your depraved, sick, deranged prisoner?” I asked “Should I worship you? Kiss your feet for your bounteous generosity for saving me from my own choices? Or would you prefer your prisoners to stay silent, meek and submissive?”

“You will be grateful and you will follow my instructions with obedience. Do you understand?” His eyes were cold and heartless as he regarded me. “Your life will be easier once you start to see what I’m doing for you and you’ll thank me someday.”

I could not bring myself to beg anymore. I saw the finality of his words in his eyes. He intended to break me, and I was afraid there was no hope to be free this time.

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faithfromanewperspective · 24 days

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was just thinking about how easy it is to compare the current president of Israel (whose name I don’t even remember) to hitler. it fits the way we think, doesn’t it, foreign people do bad things, what we see as familiar is good. but then the more I think about it, about how this whole thing has been set up and the extent (which I have to learn more about exactly still) to which usamerica is driving a literal genocide then the person I’ve gotta do that comparing to is actually… joe biden??? like that’s such a curveball in our brains we never expected but if you trace the power structures, yes there’s a fair deal of being a puppet going on but only because he never stands up against it. because he doesn’t actually care to stop it. and actually how fucked up is it that we’re literally talking about how the best thing is to continue voting for him for president because the other guy is worse like ??? none of us expected it of usamerica. we respected that country. we still respect its people and hang out with them every day

but like. let that sink in for a second. the guy encouraging and allowing a genocide is the better of two options?? if that’s the case I’m sorry but the civilians really don’t have any power. I’m sorry but if that’s the standards we have we have to start imagining better. this is like when your parent asks you if you want to wear a red shirt or a blue shirt but you never got the option to wear a dress instead or simply no shirt at all. it’s the illusion of choice. and as a world how do we turn a blind eye to this?? how do we not call out our dear cousin usamerica who is clearly in a bad state right now? whose leadership desperately needs to do better especially if they’re going to be in a position of leadership in the world as the power structures would have that they are?

because people live and breathe economy I was thinking, what if the rest of us simply boycott usamerica like we boycott Israel?? that would send the global economy to shambles. and I know it’s not gonna happen all of a sudden (so no need to hurriedly account for all the people that would get hurt) but what if we did? simply stop buying and consuming things that come out of America?

now I’m probably one of the biggest and most long-standing swifties you’ll meet (tumblr doesn’t count it’s an echo chamber) but could I? could I simply hold off listening to the tortured poets department when it comes out and stick to her older stuff I already own on cd’s and the like? Taylor doesn’t need my money or my numbers next to her songs and I’m going to be missing a lot if I do this but when this is over, her music will still be there. My favourite author is American. that one might be harder since I really want to read the second sword catcher book (I’m not worried about twp since it’s not coming out til 2026). I know a bunch of technology comes out of usamerica but I don’t need to update any of my devices and if I do there’s probably other brands I can buy from. I think because my iTunes is Australian I might be okay with it?? but I’m trying to transition away from it and buy more cds anyway. And I don’t watch tv, I rarely watch movies now so I could probably forgo that too.

I was actually just thinking about how there are so many songs out there I probably won’t get to listen to. what if, in boycotting some this is my chance to broaden my horizons? and I will preface with the fact that I know many non American artists do live and record in LA: im not gonna boycott them for that. In fact I’ll support their music because I want them to come home. and I might make an exception for green day and good charlotte for generally protesting much about usamerica?? but tell me guys, what do you think?? is this feasible? I might actually do it. I’ll make an exception for tumblr probably and use meta social media to the minimum (maybe I should for tumblr too and google). but also. is this racist?? is it going to do any harm?? because damn it I want to support the people. I want to support marginalised groups and native americans but I also want to be part of a boycott that’s meaningful rather than a token gesture. and I know the usamericans of us can’t do this, but please if I do it see it as me supporting your rights to having your opinions heard on a political level because I come from a country that isn’t great colonialism wise but at least we have that and I can’t imagine not having it

#boycott usamerica #boycott usa #<-genuinely can’t believe this is a tag in the wild gonna check it out #anyway. this is gonna hit hard for the fandoms I’m in on here #if I do it fully #luckily we still have 5sos #but I feel like I’m being up myself about it when Australia’s not really better #at the same time albo has finally gotten mad at israel and we don’t have anywhere near the international power #usamericans please weigh in on this #free palestine #human rights

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nokingsonlyfooles · 2 months

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“It’s my hope, Mr. President, that you listen to us, that you choose democracy over tyranny.” - Abdullah Hammoud, Dearborn Mayor and Voter

YES! I can't fuckin' believe the media accurately reported this as a protest and printed/publicized the words of the voters explaining why they did it. AND NOBODY HAD TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE! This is big and it could get even bigger! But it's a qualified bigness, because...

Walz, a major supporter of Biden’s reelection campaign, said Michigan’s “uncommitted” results were a healthy demonstration of democracy. “I think they feel passionate, as they should, about an issue we all care about,” Walz said, adding that he expected most protest voters would eventually return to Biden’s side in a likely November rematch with former President Donald Trump, who himself has struggled with college-educated voters and suburbanites in his ongoing Republican primary against former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley. “I’m much more convinced there’s a chance bringing those folks home is much greater than bringing the ‘Never Trump’ folks back home,” Walz said.

Yeah. I know this song and dance. I've seen it happen in person, at protests, in reatime. They come out to "do voter outreach" and they're all smiles to start. "Yes! Please do continue to act upon your freedom of speech in a way I, an advocate for the status quo, find nonthreatening. Your feelings are valid, ha-ha! I expect nothing to change, and indeed I will act to change nothing, but good for you!" A few folks always believe the message has been received and quiet down, that's why they do it. But wait and see what happens to that smile when a few people start interrupting and yelling, "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

At least this guy's willing to suggest Biden would pick up more votes by moving left than moving right, although I doubt he actually expects anything radical. A few more forgiven student loans or somewhat cheaper drugs aren't much of a problem, and that's leftist too! So we don't really have to worry about the ongoing genocide.

The thing is, if/when this picks up momentum and the DNC starts to think they might have to change something or lose, it will become something other than a positive demonstration of free speech. It'll be childish tantrum-throwing, pointless, uncivil, attention-whoring, astroturfed, counterproductive foreign interference, and whatever else sounds bad. If any of you out there in internet-land already feel threatened by it, you're probably saying that right now. (Go ahead and comment, you'll boost this with other people who think like you, and I might change some minds.)

And, if you are comfortable with it and want voters to do it instead of threatening to withhold votes from Biden in the general, check your privilege. Not every state offers this. Unless something changes real fast (at least, I THINK it hasn't changed, it's hard to do a search when "uncommitted" brings up SO MANY news articles about Michigan 😁), mine won't. I can't do this. I can't vote in a third party primary either. It'd be all blue or nothing. And neither of those things will get me any press, so I gotta keep talking. Maybe I'll motivate someone who can vote uncommitted! Or scare a politician! I still think I'm doing more good by staying alive, and I'm a bit distant from any property I might meaningfully damage (although I am open to suggestions that won't get me arrested and silenced), so this is the only thing I got that won't injure a human being.

Tumblr, no matter how you actually intend to vote, if you're not up for living in a two-party system where both parties think they can do a little genocide and stay in power, you have ways of making yourself heard. There are options beyond falling in line behind the lesser evil. Don't let anyone tell you there aren't. And when you start hearing "stop!" or "you can't!" that means you have something they want. A cessation of hostilities! Well, now you might be in a position to negotiate terms! Don't give up!

Please, please, please don't give up. There is so much to be done.

#us news #us elections #michigan primary #protest votes #protest #democracy #democrats #democratic party #palestine #genocide #resist #nonviolent resistance #uncommitted

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luvsae · 9 months

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Hey

Me again still asking for Cha Hyun-su like lets be real WE NEED MORE LOVE FOR HIS TALL ASS UGHH

Anyways so like he’s infected obviously and were like trynna sneak in to see him - were not dating but we have a crush on him (hell we don’t need angst) - so yeah uhm im horrible at describing of what im asking for

ALSO DO YOU KNOW WEAK HERO CLASS 1 (the tv show) CAUSE IF YOU PLEASE WRITE FOR YEON SI-EUN AND WERE ALREADY DATING HIM AND SHIT AND IF YOU DONT KNOW THE TV SHOW YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT I don’t know where to but use LookMovies (a website to watch any shows or movies)

omg this has been in my inbox for so long and i apologize </3

i haven't watched that show but i will watch in the future!! anyway. you know i love to write for hyunsu <3 LETS GOO WOOO this ended with a cliffhanger, so lmk if you want a pt 2 dgkjdsgjdng

infected or not | cha hyunsu

Hyunsu.

He was your best friend for a while. You two had moved to a new apartment and had separate rooms, but always joined together to play videogames and what not.

You and Hyunsu were the perfect pair of friends, but what he didn't know was that you had a crush on him. A huge one, to be exact.

Masking your feelings for him was easy, yet hard.

Sometimes you just wanted to shout your feelings out loud, but then you were shy and decided to keep everything in because of the risk of rejection from your bestfriend.

Also, you didn't want to have a change in your friendship. You didn't want anything to happen just because your feelings got in the way, no way.

You loved seeing Hyunsu, but you couldn't anymore because of the infection going around, and he had caught it. It would cause his nose to bleed and his eyes would turn black.

People feared him as if he was some sort of monster, but you didn't fear him. Not one bit. You knew that Hyunsu was still the same person, just infected.

Eunhyuk had decided to keep him locked in an extra room that was on the main floor. This was decided after there was a vote on whether or not to kick Hyunsu out.

Of course, you were against this, and was very vocal about your feelings. The older man complained, but then he turned out to be infected as well. Karma.

You began to feel lonely as your best friend and crush was no longer by your side at all times. You missed the way he would look at you, or the way he would hug you when you first saw each other in the morning.

You never realized how much you could miss someone until they were no longer with you.

Tonight was a rather lonely night.

You were tired of not seeing Hyunsu, so you decided to have a plan laid out.

Tonight you were going to visit him. After hours was the safest option as Eunhyuk would probably be too busy doing something else, or at least you hoped that was the case.

You threw on different clothes - something a little bit nicer, also looking in the mirror to fix your hair.

Mixed feelings entered your mind at a sudden speed. Specifically about Hyunsu.

Should I tell him about how I feel? You thought to yourself, shaking your head to focus on your appearance instead of the many questions in your mind.

Grabbing your phone and headphones just in case, you also took a packet of ramen for Hyunsu. He had a lot of it, but it was his favorite flavor - Chicken.

You closed the door carefully and made your way down to the main level. People were most likely asleep as it was late, but you were just excited to see Hyunsu.

As you made it to the main level, you quickly peaked around to see if anyone was there. Turning around, you bumped into someone. That someone was Sangwook.

"Going somewhere?" He asked, his voice a tad bit quiet.

"Uh," you paused for a moment. "Yes..?"

"Going to see your boyfriend?" He teased.

"Wh- Hyunsu isn't my boyfriend, and can you keep your voice down! I don't need Eunhyuk on my ass about this. He doesn't let me visit in the daytime, so..." You replied back.

Sangwook let out a quiet chuckle. "I wasn't gonna stop you. Have fun and don't get caught. If I get asked anything, I never saw you."

"Thanks." You nodded and continued walking down the hall.

You eventually made it down to the room where Hyunsu remained.

With a quick peak inside, you opened the door, quickly closing the door behind you and noticing Hyunsu who was half asleep against the wall.

His lip was puffed out a bit and his cheeks looked so soft. You smiled at the scene but quietly went over and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hyunsu."

Jumping slightly, Hyunsu's eyes shot open and looked directly into yours. His mouth was hung open a bit before he got a few words out.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I came to visit you," you answered. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"No, no," he smiled. "You didn't. I'm happy to see you. I've missed being with you all the time."

There was that familiar feeling in your stomach - the butterflies that hatched from the cocoon. The feeling you couldn't wish away even if you wanted to.

"I've missed being with you all the time too," you confessed. "I brought something for you. It might be small but I thought you would like it."

Handing over the pack of ramen, Hyunsu's eyes lit up. "I've been craving this, oh my god. Thank you so much. I promise to repay you when we get out of here- well, if we do."

"Hey," you placed your hand on Hyunsu's shoulder. "We're both gonna get out of here. I promise you that. I'll do whatever it takes, okay?"

"Thank you," he said, "You're an amazing friend."

Ouch.

He didn't know your feelings, but you couldn't help but feel a tad pinch of bitterness at the mention of being a friend - because that's what you were. Just a friend.

You knew you had to confess today because although you did promise about both of you getting out, you didn't know if you would get infected yourself and how your body would react to it.

"What have you been doing to keep yourself occupied?" You asked, knowing you were going to confess soon.

"Staring at the wall," Hyunsu laughed - it was the sound of music to your ears. "I just, I don't know. I try to sleep or eat. I basically do whatever I can to be busy. I think about you sometimes, or all the time actually."

"I think about you all the time, too," You told him, your cheeks slightly burning with red. "I, uh."

You paused, clearing your throat. The nervousness started to rise to your throat.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his face full of concern.

"I'm okay," You reassured him. "I just need to tell you something, but I'm not sure how to.. say it, you know?"

"You can say it whenever you want," he patted your knee. "I'll be ready to hear it."

You closed your eyes momentarily, letting out a breath. "We've been friends for a while. I really love sharing a house with you, but being apart for so long made me realize something,"

You averted eye contact. "I miss you so much. I never knew I could miss someone as much as I miss you, Hyunsu."

"I miss you all the time, too, Y/N."

"My point is," you inhaled shakily. "I've learned that.. I have feelings for you. The feelings you have for someone you like. I'm sorry to have this all.. fall out on you, but I wanted to say that because I miss you every single day."

When you finally looked at Hyunsu, his face was mixed with confusion and other emotions, but you couldn't tell.

As he was about to say something, a familiar figure stood in the opened doorway, looking directly at you.

"Y/N, no one's allowed down here. I've told you that before." Eunhyuk had his hands on his hips as he looked down at you.

You quickly stood up. "I'm so sorry, uh, Hyunsu.. I'll see you later."

Hyunsu watched as you ran out of the room, his feelings left unanswered.

He wanted to say something.

#fanfic #fluff stuff #fluff scenario #sweet home #cha hyun su

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timebegins-onopeningday · 7 months

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🌤️Challenge update 🌞

Okay, folks, based on the results of the poll, here is what we are going to do! Since the overwhelming majority of you said yes to keeping posting open, I am going to keep posting in this collection open forever.

Our schedule now looks like this:

September 12: Soft deadline for new works (tomorrow!) If you get can get your work in by then, you're doing great. Massive applause to the people who posted already.

September 13: All works that have been posted will be revealed around 8am UTC-8. Creators will no longer have a period of anonymity, authorship will be revealed immediately.

September 14: Official start of the rolling submission period for new works. Basically, when you claim it and finish it - post it! It will be revealed, not anonymous, and a part of the collection. There is no waiting period.

Monthly on or around the 15th, going forward from September: I will do a round up post on this blog of new works that have been posted since the deadline (if any). I may also sprinkle in a couple prompts I feel could use some lovin' throughout the months. I may also firmly remind you to leave comments. I may encourage you to make rec posts or transformative works based on the works you loved. Depends on how many cups of coffee I drink prior to crafting the post! We just don't know!

But this is not the end of our efforts to keep writing baseball fic!

Because a not insignificant chunk of you indicated that you would also like the option to leave new prompts, what I have decided to do is run this challenge again next year! The logistics of re-opening prompts either on a rolling basis or at regular intervals across the year was going to be too much for me as one person to handle on top of keeping up with new works and also just generally being a busy person with a lot going on. Also, we have 110 banger prompts this year! Let's give them some love before we jump into something new.

Our jobs for the next year: I will keep prompting for Year One of this challenge closed and work on crafting next year's challenge to be better and less chaotic; you all are going to start brainstorming prompts for Year Two! I do not have a schedule for next year yet, that will come much later next year, but it will probably be pushed back at least a month (mid-July -> late-August), so you have plenty of time in the postseason-offseason-2024 season to put your faves in a boba shaker and toss them around. Rules will likely remain the same or very similar and if there are any major changes, I will be sure to highlight them.

In summary:

Posting open forever: Yes!

New prompts in this collection: No!

New prompt meme in 2024: Yes!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for voting and special shout out to all of you who gave feedback, either in comments, the tags or in DMs! I could not have refined the action I took for the feedback I was receiving without all of your input. I hope this satisfies most of you. I know a handful of you wanted the collection closed and I offer my sincerest apologies that that was not the action I decided to take.

Baseball fandom is a small but generous community and I appreciate every one of you. With your energy and creativity, I think we can make it even brighter through this year and into the next. Thank you all 🌝

#mod post

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demethinkstoomuch · 1 year

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How Would The Locked Tomb Cast Do At Survivor?

Yes, it is time for my highly-researched opinions about how my current hyperfixation’s cast would do at my favorite reality game show!

I went through big chunks of the cast and sorted them into groups by playstyle/likely outcome/role in the season. A few characters are not easily sorted into a group, so they’re on their own. This mostly assumes the cast is isolated, though I may assume “someone like so and so” as options for tribemates; if I have a Blood vs Water thought, how they’d do with their loved one, I’ll bring it up. I will be ranking the groups on their likeliest boot orders, with a bit of wiggle-room, because after a certain point, that stops being super meaningful. I should have just done a Brant-Steele, I wouldn’t have to organize that.

Away we go under the cut!

...Survivor? That’s still on?

Let me give anyone unfamiliar with a 22-year old show a quick rundown: Game starts with everyone divided into usually 2-3 tribes of 6-10 people each. At this phase, immunity from tribal council earned in challenges is tribal, and the losing tribe goes to tribal council and they vote someone out. The tribes might swap players or change considerations, Survivor hates consistent formatting; somewhere in the 13-10-ish range, the tribes merge and immunity from the vote at tribal council becomes individual. People voted out join the Jury, who watch tribal council; at the end, the final 3 face the jury for Q&A or speeches, and the jury votes for the winner. You can get 1-use immunity from a vote by finding a hidden immunity idol. I am treating Final 4 as a point where no one meaningfully controls who goes home, because the current mechanic kind of works that way. I hate it, and am ignoring its existence.

Now, please note that Survivor is a very, very swing-y game. The things that win you the game one season might not in another, so there’s only some cases where I’m very sure how they would do, and some cases where I think there’s a range -- if you’re in theory capable of making it to the final 7 or so, and capable of doing it without screwing yourself out of victory, there might be a universe where you can win... or you could just miss your shot, who knows.

The Total Disasters (Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Silas, Judith, Mercymorn, Honesty, Crux, probably Pash, maybe Ortus but maybe not)

Look, some people are not destined to win Survivor. That’s most people, honestly. But some people are very, very clearly destined to be voted out immediately. These are people who cannot disguise any part of themselves to get along, who cannot chill, who need to have things their way or the highway, who eschew social bonds in favor of their own machinations and standards. Survivor is a game of connection, and it’s a game of connecting to people who are nothing like you. You can see why everyone on this listing might be total, unmitigated disasters.

Judith is the most likely person in the universe to force the entire tribe to just sit there in the shelter, we have no need for duplicity or sneaking off for private strategy talks, we will just eliminate the weakest link, It is very straightforward! No one likes that. It never goes well.

Harrow and Honesty are both very likely to get in trouble for immediately scouting for idols -- and not being subtle enough about it. Harrow is at least reasonably likely to find one, though. Honesty probably just applied when he heard about the time a cellophane-wrapped block of cocaine washed up on the beach during filming. It could happen again, on a different beach. Maybe production won’t take this one away. It could happen! Silas is most likely to interpret the immunity idol as a form of idolatry and be pissed about it. Both of these stories actually happened, though one never made it to the show. (Also, no one would want to see Silas after he’s gotten dirty. It’d just be sad.)

For some reason, undefinable for me, Mercymorn feels like she’d last a round or two, she just has big “third boot” vibes. I think she can maybe be functional enough in her hate to stick around. Ortus can stay out of this group if he does not quote too much poetry, and is not too big a downer. Pash can if she does not get into too many fights.

Precious Cinnamon Role Too Good for this Game, Too Pure (Nona)

Nona lives in her own category. She probably would be a form of disaster, but a very different one. Nona’s social skills honestly would preserve her from Harrow’s fate of immediate vote-out. That said, her inability to lie and her general softness would combine to make her a major problem as an ally: you could not tell her anything. She would be very uncomfortable about votes. I think she probably would not get very deep in before her unease at voting people out would make her too unreliable an ally to keep. I’m picturing Marquesas’ Gabriel Cade as I say this, and that was pre-merge. Cinnamon roll too good for this game, too pure.

On the other hand... I feel like there is an incredibly unlikely chance, if the stars align, that Nona could win. It would be a disaster season -- and probably very funny. This would require everyone else to be missing at least one of the following Survivor skills: Surviving to the End, Being Likeable, Removing Threats. Nona would have to be the only person whose two remaining skills are Being Likeable and Surviving to the End. If that happens, maybe everyone else would all self-destruct on each other while Nona has a fun adventure with all the blase innocence of a Cartoon Baby in a Cartoon Construction Site, and people like her more than the other members of the Final 3. This has happened before, so let’s call this Fabio upside.

Sit-Out Bench Gracers (Cytherea the First, Dulcinea Septimus)

These two have more or less identical early games, and only slight divergences in the late game. In the early game, they’re massively endangered due to, you know, being dying. Their hopes are twofold: #1, That the rest of their tribe can pull their weight, and they can be queen of the Sit-Out Bench; #2, that their social games are enough to protect them on likeability and they can shift the targets over. If that happens -- if they make it through the early game -- then they have a good shot at a deep run. They’re both likeable and cut-throat, a good combo... But then, do you want to go up against the inspirationally dying girl? Do you? You don’t, right? You cut that. I think Cytherea has a better survival rating than Dulcie, because being underestimated is Cytherea’s biggest skill, I think.

But let’s say they make it to the end-game: then, Cytherea’s ability to be under-estimated becomes a detriment. You have to be able to sell your game. You have to be able to sell your game and be respected for it, and the person who gets in close with personal reliance and deep intimacy, and then slits your throat callously? The jury tends not to like that. That tends to piss them off. In that regard, Dulcie, who’s just more edgy and less likely to play it personal, has a better rate of winning. But these differences would play out only in the rather unlikely endgame. I’d rather see Dulcie, though; she’d give an amazing confessional. I get big Courtney Yates energy from her, a tiny skinny girl, 0 physical presence, but hell of a sass on her. (She’d probably be less mean than Courtney, but I’m just saying.)

Smart Mom and Mom-Adjacent People (Abigail Pent, Juno Zeta, Commander We Suffer, The Angel)

So, there’s some good long-term potential, very little win chance, and very, very good Early Boot chances here. This is where Mercymorn would fit if Mercymorn were capable of Chilling. Let’s get to explaining that mess of a set-up. There are two driving factors: We’re dealing primarily in this group with “older” (Survivor “old” runs from early 30s to anything else; the show skews young, on average) women or women-adjacent people who are very smart and not capable of disguising it. On average, they’re not very physically tough, which becomes a problem in the early game -- they just might not be enough in challenges early on. On the second level, being undisguisably smart and no-bullshit can become...A little bit threatening. A lot of smart older ladies smell the rats early -- and the rats freak out and take them out. Which is more or less what happened to Abigail Pent in canon, so that seems a likely fate for her in Survivor.

But lately, that type has done a lot better, which is fun and exciting, so let’s talk about the final danger: If they last to the end, people might not like it when “Mom” betrays them. They very well might undervalue her strategic chops if she stays in deep. Even if they did not come here to be “Mom,” they don’t want it, stop that. But how you are perceived in Survivor is more relevant to how the game plays out than who you are or what you do. Survivor is not a fair game, and the double wombo-combo of agism and sexism is ruthless. But man, when this type does really well, they are a delight: they can be chaotic, ruthless, canny, and just really gratifying to watch. We Suffer probably does the best on the grounds of not being a necromancer, and therefore, being physically the toughest -- she has the most Chaos Kass or Chrissy upside (both of whom were delightful, think that this trend is BULLHONKEY, and nevertheless failed to escape it.)

Slow Down, You Crazy Child (Isaac Tetteres)

Isaac is a funny one. He’s pretty OK, but I think the odds of him melting down in a paranoid and self-destructive spiral are very high. This could begin at any time, but ultimately means that when Isaac spots a big threat, or starts to feel like someone is coming for him, he will come at them so hard that it destroys anything he’s built. Which is a shame: he could build stuff. Observation is a valuable Survivor skill, and I think he’s not actively repellant, so he’d probably make some decent alliances early on. But if you act like everyone is out to get you, you’ll make people out to get to. And if you show your chops too early, you might just take out your target...And then get taken out yourself. This quality is one that makes him one of the types of players Nona needs a whole season of to win: he’d be one of that season’s better players, too. It’s just that the best that sort of disaster comedy season has is juuuust sharp enough to cut themselves.

There’s some sort of connecting thread between himself, Augustine, Naberius, and Ianthe, but their over-all outcomes become so different that it becomes hard to lump them together. But if I did, that type would be: Too Schemey. How good they are at the socializing, how likeable they can be, how concealing of their cunning, determines their fate.

The Meatshields (Gideon Nav, G1deon, Marta, Pro, Colum, Aiglamine if she’s not too old for it, Jeannemarie if she doesn’t get into too many fights, Ortus if he can get his act together.)

This is, of course, an enormous group. The basic thing prognosis is this: If you are physically strong, you will be valued in the early game, and viewed as possibly threatening as a challenge threat in the middle of the game around the top of the merge. Even though, basically, if what you’re primarily delivering on is raw strength, the challenges really stop being geared that way. Survivor individual challenges are a lot more endurance, balance, and puzzle-based. People will still target those they perceive as threatening...And most of the people in this group do not have the ability to avoid that, so they’d probably all go in the early to mid merge. This bundle are not strategically very dynamic, though some of them -- Gideon, I mean Gideon -- are at least socially engaging. But the rest of them, except Jeanne, really wish this was about surviving, and not about people. It’s not, though!

Gideon has the upside of being very likeable, but you have to be way more clued-in, and willing to use those clues, to fare really well. But she gives a FANTASTIC confessional, which makes her a delight to have. She’d get asked back, but Survivor still resents you skipping Leg Day. Her namesake, not so much -- but if Gideon Nav improbably makes it to the end, she could win. Her namesake, though... if he’s lucky, someone picks him up as a loyal #2, and he gets voted out to weaken them or dragged to the end as a dead fish, setting his leader up for an easy win. 0% chance of winning. The rest would be loyal enough to be good allies, except Jeanne-Marie, who might be loyal, but could be a bit too much of a firecracker (though that makes her a good person to take to the end) ...But they’re all too honorable to wriggle out of trouble, and not strategic enough to take out bigger threats, so win odds are low.

The Godfathers (Commander Wake, Hot Sauce)

I think that they both operate on Having a Gang. If they have a Gang that they can be absolute ruler of -- and, given people, they will seek to become absolute ruler of -- and can dominate its comings and goings, it will become a thing of iron, and if it has the numerical superiority, they will march the Gang to the End and crush the other alliance/tribe/whatever. What if Boston Rob really, really hated necromancers? What if Boston Rob were a 14-year old girl?

Forced into a situation where her numbers are inferior or her tribemates resent the idea of being controlled, Wake has far and away the better odds compared to Hot Sauce, but she’s still more likely to go scorched earth and hopes to ride the chaos. Which...rarely works, honestly. I think Hot Sauce would have a harder time, being younger and all. They both have an incredible charisma and force of will which will hopefully get them their Gang, but Wake’s edges are harsher, while Hot Sauce is more withdrawn. Both are under considerable threat, playstyle-wise, of the whole premise of The Gang just not working with the cast around them. Like, most people don’t really like the idea that they are not allowed to have independent strategies in a strategy game. Their approach is more or less a high-risk, high-reward one. It fails at inflection points: the start of the game, the swaps, the merges, where they’re capable of being outnumbered or outgunned or overthrown. Wake probably has a better sense of who to take to the End Game than Hot Sauce, but that’s down to not being 14.

The Dads (Magnus Quinn, John Gaius)

These two technically have very different fates, but I thought their superficial approach would be alike enough. Both are reasonably physically competent mature men who are approachable, sociable, and not obvious about taking charge. They’re charming, reliable, and competent without being overwhelmingly so, which gives them good odds. But Magnus isn’t cutthroat, isn’t deceptive. This makes me think he’d go through the tribal stage, and he’d do well -- but when the time comes for his alliance to cannibalize itself, he won’t be long left, so he’s in The Zone, but loosely, 12-5 or so. Magnus is a great guy to have in your alliance, though, and a really great guy to have in your cast. He’d get an invite back and he’d do exactly the same, but we were expecting him to be delightful, not successful. He probably makes the DVD cover, so good for him!

John is deceptive, and he’s never as sentimental as he looks. His best-case scenario is that he activates his manipulation skills, plays innocent, finds someone worse to stand beside, and he is the coolest man on the ice. His worst-case scenario is that he makes a plan, over-reaches, and bungles it, perhaps melting down in a “who voted for me???!!” paranoid spiral, and does not understand why people do not want him to win. I’m not sure which I find more likely, but either could happen, and at just about any time. Winning is possible for John Gaius, unfortunately.

The Grand Vizier Probably Eats Brunch (Augustine the First)

I think Augustine maybe could win. I think it’s not a sure bet, but sometimes, you just have to be just charming enough, just good enough at pretending you care, just clever enough, without being any of those things too much. I think Augustine is good enough at playing second fiddle who turns around and tries to murder you that it will serve him well. That’s a winning role in Survivor. I could also see him on the losing side of the post-merge dynamics -- in which case, he’d go somewhere in the 10-7 zone, but outside of that scenario, I think you can pencil Augustine in for any point between Final 8 and Victory, Inclusive.

Too Dangerous To Live (Coronabeth Tridentarius, Palamedes Sextus, Camilla Hect)

All of these are people who I think could do very well at Survivor, except for the part where there is really no disguising how well they could do at Survivor. They will probably be valued members of their tribes and alliances, in the hub of things, making moves and doing great! Until everyone looks towards the end-game, and what do they see? This is the longest write-up, because each of them is a different picture of a great Survivor player in their field.

They see that Palamedes is crazy smart and has about 35 million scenarios for the endgame planned out. He can probably solve any puzzle put in front of him in, like, 3 seconds. He’s quite likeable most of the time, a good dude, and undeniably respectable as a strategic force in the game. He’d murder a final tribal speech. He runs the slight risk of being the sort of high-strung nerd who goes home early, but I think he can avoid it. He’s less likely to avoid being a high-strung nerd who gets voted out late. He’s a season’s fallen angel, the person who played brilliantly but fell short. Unless a miracle happened, but I think he’s in the Christian Hubicki slot; everyone’s gonna love this nerd, which is part of his problem. Some of the fandom will absolutely love him. They will be right, and not joyless reddit husks.

They see that Camilla is, for all she’s a little quiet and anti-social, a formidable challenge beast. She can do everything a Survivor individual challenge is likely to expect of you: she could throw beanbags at things, she could walk on balance-beams, she could endure in weird postures, she can solve a puzzle at the end. And she’s got a very strong strategic sense and understanding of the game rules, fully capable of recognizing who the threats are and who’s working against her and so on. She can find idols like she’s pulling them out of a pocket. I think she’d be the worst of this bunch at selling her game at the end, and the worst at convincing people to not target her now, but there’s a chance it works for itself.

They’d see Coronabeth. Who is Coronabeth, and is almost, very nearly, the perfect Survivor player: endlessly charming, endlessly charming, percieved as fantastic by all who survey her. Every move gets credited to her, even the ones she had nothing to do with. But she probably has a lot to do with a lot of them, because she is also rather cunning in the way a social-strategy game like Survivor is concerned with. And she is physically capable enough to win some immunities. Coronabeth could win Survivor by just standing there.

And the entire rest of the cast would go, “Huh, that’s a problem for me, because I would like to win Survivor. That is what Survivor is about, winning Survivor. And they could definitely stop literally all of us from winning Survivor.” And then the threat singularity would begin, and everyone’s mission would be to Get Out The Biggest Threat. Now, any of these people could go a few rounds on immunities or idols or stupid tribemates -- Corona gets the most out of stupid tribemates and the least out of idols because she’s less good at those -- but it’d be risky. They’d be sprinting through fire, scrambling from tribal council to tribal council like they’re walking on a tight-rope. Which makes a great show for the jury, which makes them more likely to win, which makes them more threatening, lather, rinse, repeat. The luck is, more likely than not, going to run out at some point. It will most likely run out somewhere between the final 7 and the Final 4, with 5 as a very likely point: last call before it’s too late to stop them, oh god, somebody, please stop them!

Funnily enough, I think a Blood Vs Water with Palamedes and Camilla dampens both of their chances, because they can’t protect them both. A Blood vs Water with a Redemption Island twist, where someone who can do well at challenges can come back, though... Then he and Camilla would absolutely wreck shop if she gets voted out early, hiding his threat level a bit, and then she wins her way back at the final hour, and then they are an Unstoppable Survivor Machine. Let’s call this the Paul Scenario.

Almost Perfect, Except For the Glaring Part Where She’s Ianthe (Ianthe Tridentarius)

Ianthe is almost a great Survivor player, if only she weren’t...Ianthe about it. She seems to be aware enough that you have to charm people to at least make an attempt. And she’s clever and cutthroat. But...Would it be enough to overcome... Ianthe? And, if so, then what? Could someone willingly vote for Ianthe to win a million dollars? Could someone Ianthe has backstabbed turn around and applaud her? I think Ianthe would gloat too much, honestly, and that would end up making people turn away from respecting her game. She is her own worst enemy. I think she makes it pretty far, though -- and either gets taken out for being too schemey, or she stays and is a 0 vote finalist... But maybe, just maybe, she’d have a shot.

Here is what her shot looks like: She needs a Coronabeth. She needs someone who is attention-drawing that she can pair up with and hide her threat level behind. Unlike actually playing with Coronabeth, though, she’d need to get that person to about the 5-6 remaining point and then take her out... after lining up a collection of saps who absolutely could not get more than a few anti-Ianthe votes, and those guys take her to the final 3. Like, say, Babs. Everyone hates voting for Ianthe, but they just can’t vote for those other guys, because in some way, they are worse. That’s what an Ianthe win looks like. Missing any of those elements means that Ianthe probably falls just short of a win.

Mr 0 Votes (Naberius Tern)

Oh, hey. It’s the guy Ianthe needs to take to the end. He is his own special sort of disaster: he’s the perfect goat, his own worst enemy. No one’s going to vote for Naberius to win. In general, he strikes me as the exact sort of player that could lead to a Nona win if there were enough of him in a season: he’s smart enough to know how to strategize, but not so smart and not so charming that he wouldn’t overplay, and not nearly subtle enough. He thinks he’s a strategic mastermind, he probably has a confessional or three about how he’s the one controlling this game. He isn’t. He could really go at any point in the game, honestly. If he goes early, it’s because he’s a slimy, whiny twerp who overplayed his hand and overestimated himself; if he goes at top of the merge, it’s because he’s a big physical threat. After that, though... He probably doesn’t go home in the 8-4 zone, not if anyone can help it. He’s the perfect losing finalist, you want to take him to the end no matter who you are. Unless he’s not your sacrificial goat, or unless there’s no better targets vulnerable. Then he goes. No one’s sad about it.

THE WINNER, GENTLEFOLK! (Pyrrha Dve)

Bow down before your new Survivor God. Pyrrha is really, really, really good at Survivor. She is probably the single best Survivor player of the cast, prove me wrong. A huge part of that is that she’s capable of lying low, in addition to being charming, a great liar, cut-throat, cunning, and physically capable. I think she is capable of taking a season of Survivor and ruling it in a way which is so low-key and so complete that she makes a really boring Survivor season, because she’d crush all the life out of it. They might want to take her out every week, but they can’t -- but next week! But no, not this week, either. And so on. Pyrrha’s said all these things, but really, she’s in with them, right? They need her. They can’t get rid of her now. And the chance slips away... Things could break badly for her, but she would need some bad luck to not charm her way, subtle and powerful, to the win.

#The Locked Tomb #TLT #Survivor #Stacking Obsessions #I'm not listing the entire cast in tags #I'm not a monster #Nona the Ninth Spoilers #I am in delight imagining the clown-car pile-up scenario required for a Nona win. It'd be hilarious.#I am not going to call Ianthe Russell Hantz but I thought about it #But I didn't want to be so insulting to Ianthe.#Meta #TLT Meta #The Mortifying Ordeal of Posting Your Dumb Crossover Concepts #Courtney Yates rather did look like a malign fairy #Camilla Hect on Redemption Island would be a delightful terrifying experience #Just looming in the background.#People getting on the DVD cover almost regardless of placement: Gideon/Magnus/Pyrrha/Anyone Too Dangerous To Live #People getting on the DVD cover if they do REMOTELY well: Ianthe/Dulcinea/John/Augustine/Any Smart Mom-Types/Nona/Any Godfather Type #Babs might get on the cover only as a losing finalist but only MIGHT. G1deon would not get one even as a losing finalist.#Harrow would at least like the food!#The None or the Plain White Rice Boiled in Water

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