#you and parm are going to be the death of me

[jo-harrington]

TW: Death and Catholicism

Eddie as someone you meet at a funeral.

You’re a great-niece, he’s a grandson’s friend. You both really only knew the deceased distantly but in different lights.

To Eddie she was the lady who pinched his arm, fed him too much food, asked if he had a girlfriend, and said she knew some nice girls if he was having trouble dating. To you she was the lady who pinched your arm, fed you too much, asked if you had a boyfriend, and said she knew some nice boys if you were having trouble dating.

Nice to him. Rude to you. That’s just who she was though. To everyone. She had her favorites.

But you’re both there for your cousin more than you’re there for yourselves.

He ends up sitting near you at the funeral home, dressed in black. Well, everyone is. But it’s how you wear those black clothes. You both wear a comfortable shroud while everyone else shuffled in dresses that don’t fit and shoes that pinch and rented suits with ties that choke.

Funeral homes have formative memories for both of you. You bond over it in those drawn out minutes…hours where you connect with strangers only to probably never see them again. For him, it’s his mother and in return he gained a love of heavy metal and the inexplicable need to March to the beat of his own drum just like she did. For you, a grandma you were too young to really know.

“You and Danny have that in common then,” he tries to lighten the mood. “Dead grandma’s.”

“I think everyone gets a dead grandma at some point. Sometimes even two.”

“That’s fair.”

“Mine died on my 5th birthday though,” you tell him truthfully. “So I think I had it worse off than he does.”

“Gotta hold him to that then. He’s a cocky shit.”

“Yeah he is. He still holds some Mario Kart victory over me from when we were 7.”

You both fumble at the church as you seek out a familiar face—although for you it’s a sea of familiar faces you wish you didn’t have to see—and you guide him through, to you, partially forgotten prayers and the sitting and standing and you even hold his hand during the Our Father. He doesn’t let you go because he feels you shake with the uneven ground of your faith.

“I don’t do church anymore,” you whisper.

“Me either,” he whispers back. “Would you believe me if I told you people used to think I worshipped Satan?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I might currently worship Satan?”

“No shit.”

“Meh, anything that isn’t Jesus might as well be Satan to my mom so it’s not that much of a stretch.”

He doesn’t ask where your mom is. Where the rest of your immediate family is. And it’s nice for that to be the first time not to have to answer that question.

You continue to hold hands as the casket is sealed behind a stone wall, as your aunt and her secrets get locked away forever. Eddie remarks that it’s weird to bury people behind walls instead of in the ground. You think it’s weird that he thinks it’s weird; it’s all you’ve ever known.

You offer to show him around the big mausoleum if he plays his cards right.

It’s a joke. You both know it’s a joke.

But after Danny approaches the two of you once the service is over, and thanks and hugs are shared, he stands there with his hands in his pockets and stared at you expectantly.

“So?” He shrugs. “Grand tour?”

You’re speechless but you nod.

“And I know a place that does a good eggplant parm san—”

“Eggplant Parm Sandwich,” you nod. “Cue’s. Off Wolf Road? Yeah it’s my favorite.”

“Mine too. We can get some lunch?”

“Sure.”

And you both think as you walk around the silent cemetery.

You think your aunt must not have been so bad, and he thinks she must have been as good as he always thought she was.

Because she filled her promise of introducing you both to someone nice after all.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #TW: death #tw: religion #tw: catholicism #RIP Zia - the best thing that you gave me was an inferiority complex and an excuse to go to the cemetery #Maybe I’ll meet someone at your funeral but I’m not gonna hold my breath

[yourgaeyisshowing]

Bumps along the way

Chapter 3: Troubling woods and cold nights

Larissa x Shapeshifter!Reader Pregnant!Reader Pregnant!Larissa

Warnings: Pregnancy struggles, Pregnancy/childbirth, Miscarriages, Mental illness, Swears or curses, Infant Death, Stillborn, PTSD, Panic attacks, Near death experience, Mentions of birth and physical exams, vomiting,

A/N: This story is going to be heavy, it deals with real life situations that most don’t understand the pain of. 1 in 4 women will experience this in their lifetime, remember you don’t know everyone's history.

Chapter 3: Troubling woods and cold nights

Larissa had an appetite for sex like no other and you loved it, she knew how much you loved taking the reins on your bedroom life and how it thrilled you to watch her give up that control. Your home life over the last month has been incredible and healing for you both, finding a new love and many new kinks that brought you together. Your wife was a goddess and worshiping her body was your favorite pastime now. Sometimes a quickie over lunch or a fast one before a long meeting. You knew she craved the release from the stress of her job and you were happy to provide it. 

That was until she all but started avoiding you. She would get irritated quickly and shoo you away while she was on a call. When you would get home she would still be working away in her office and you couldn’t tell what you had done wrong. Larissa had never been anything but kind to you and always made time for you, but the last two weeks she was like a ghost. You decided she must just be stressed and would have a conversation over dinner. You poured two glasses of Merlot and made her favorite meal, Medium rare steak with smashed potatoes and parm glaze and made garlic glazed green beans and a small salad. Everything was perfect: two candles lit and the nice dinner plates out. You bought a dozen roses in pink and red, her favorite and waited on the edge of the sofa for her to come through the door. 

The second she stepped into the door her phone was glued to her ear in a heated debate with someone “Probably the mayor” you think to yourself. You watch as she sheds her coat and slips out of her heels and you hope she turns to you to see the beautiful flowers in your arms for her. Instead though her conversation only turns more heated and you watch her walk right past you and to your bedroom without a second glance. Anger filling your veins you hastily threw the flowers down on the floor and slid into your shoes, without grabbing a coat or your phone you let the door slam behind you. You breathed in the cold night air and let your feet carry you to the woods, tears falling down your face. After what seemed like hours to you, you set down against a tree and let your face fall against your knees sobbing until sleep overcame you. 

Larissa’s POV

The workday was stressful and all I can think about is getting off these damn heels. Everything in my body hurt to touch and the mayor was running me up a wall with all his ranting calls. The students were driving me crazy this week and everything felt irritating. All I wanted was to come home, change out of this tight dress and hug you. While dealing with yet another long call from the mayor and his ranting I frustratingly toed out of my heels and shrugged off my coat and walked into our bedroom to change. Normally Y/N would meet me at the door, but over the last week I know my mood has affected her. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I wonder as I tell the mayor that I am tired and done with this conversation. Hanging up the phone as I pull on a pair of loose jogging pants and a hoodie that I secretly love I hear the front door slam. 

Walking into the living room I see a crumpled bouquet of flowers thrown on the floor and the dinner table set with a beautiful dinner and wine. “How did I not see this before?” I say quietly to myself. I slide on a pair of flats and grab a jacket and open the front door looking around. Your car was still in the driveway, but you were nowhere to be seen. I call out your name, but hear nothing in response. Guilt and worry seeping into my veins… I go back and grab my keys to the school thinking maybe you went to our old quarters upset. Knowing I hurt you pulled my heart in like a vice. I slipped into my office and our old quarters that we kept for night watches and late nights working. Calling out your name, I only hear silence in return. True fear sets in and my feet carry me to the woods. I look for my wife for at least an hour and pull out my phone knowing there are two people that could help me. Dialing the number on my phone knowing the late hour I cringe, but my options are short and fear filled right now. “Principle Weems?” I hear a tired, but cheery voice on the other line. “Enid, I need you and Wednesday. I know that normally I would never ask this of my students, but I’m desperate. I need your tracking skills and Wednesday's brain. Y/N is missing… She… She left the house, but her keys and car are still here and she doesn’t have her phone. I think she’s in the woods.” I choke on my sobs trying to compose myself even just a bit. “Where are you?” I hear Wednesday's dull voice over the line. “ I’m at the woods edge on the east side. Marilynn is on night duty, tell her to come too if you see her.” 

With that in no less than five minutes two students and the red headed teacher are by my side. Marilynn pulls me into a hug and I give them a rundown of what happened. Wednesday already has started to map out the route you could have taken and Enid is trying to pick up a trail. Flashlights in hand we set off into the woods hoping that we can find you before we have to call Sheriff Galpin for a search party. The cold air had turned bitter, and the wind picked up significantly. 

Normal POV

You woke for a few minutes and felt the chill run through my bones. “how long have I been here?” You wonder, but tiredness calls to you and exhaustion fills your brain. You let sleep wash over you, not feeling the cold anymore. Nearing the two hour mark of their search, Wednesday’s voice fills the air. “She’s over here!” You don’t stir from the sounds of yelling or running and don’t register Larissa Pulling you into her chest taking her jacket off and wrapping it around your bare arms. “She's breathing! Darling what were you thinking leaving in only a tee shirt and leggings.” Larissa’s voice is full of panic. “Lars, we need to get her back to the house and get her warm.” Larissa nods through her tears and pulls you into her arms all but running back to your home. The three other women follow and Larissa walks straight to your room sitting down on the bed with you still in her arms. “What do we do Mary?” Wednesday answers instead. “You need to get her out of those cold wet clothes and warm her up slowly. Enid go to the infirmary and get all the hot water bottles and heating pads you can find.” Enid nods and grabs the master keys Wednesday hands her. “When did she swipe those?” Larissa wonders, but can’t seem to care her eyes only on you. Wednesday excused herself so Marilynn and Larissa could get you in warm clothes and tucked into the bed next to Larissa who quickly changed herself. 

Coming back Wednesday brought in a tray of hot tea and a bowl with warm water and a cloth wringing it out. She placed it on your forehead. Enid had returned and filled all the hot water bottles and started handing them to Marilynn to tuck around you and Larissa. You continued to sleep well after the girls had been sent to their dorm and Marilynn refused to leave and pulled out a book and a chair and sat next to your shared bed, telling Larissa to “Sleep, I’ll wake you if she stirs” to which Larissa couldn’t say no to as she was cold and exhausted. About three hours later Marilynn was still reading quietly and sipping a cup of coffee. 

You began to stir, feeling warmth filling your bones, the last thing you remembered was cold. Everything was cold, and then you were tired. You tried to sit up but felt a hand push you back down. “Marilynn?” you questioned yourself, what she was doing in your room. Wait, why were you in your room? You left… “Shh calm down, you're safe, you're okay and at home. You almost died of hypothermia, but we found you in time. Just rest hun. Do you want a drink?” The redhead kept her voice low, and nodded to a sleeping Larissa next to you, poor thing was so tired she didn’t even stir at your movements. “Yes please” you croaked out hoarsely. She got a glass of water from the night stand and let you drink your fill before taking the cup back. “What happened?” You meekly asked? “What do you remember?” She asked back “I…I was upset, I made dinner and got flowers for Larissa. She has been so cold and distant, I wanted to surprise her. When she got home she didn’t even see me waiting with flowers or the table set. She… just walked on… I got mad and went for a walk, and then I remember being cold, and waking up here…” You were confused by all the events that happened. 

“Oh dear, Y/N… you were missing for 4 hours. We couldn’t find you, we being Enid, Wednesday, Larissa and I. When we did find you, you were unconscious and barely breathing. Larissa was a mess, she was fretting until we found you.” You had silent tears running down your cheeks, and gladly took the tissue she offered. “Can I ask you something Y/N?” She asked softly, checking that Larissa was still asleep. You nodded and waited for her to ask. “Has Larissa seemed off for about two weeks? I’ve noticed she’s been short with the students, as well as the staff. That and a few days ago, she dashed off from a meeting looking rather green… I don’t think she's feeling herself.” You processed her words for a moment thinking about your answer. “Oh I feel so dumb, it's her cycle. No wonder she’s been off. I’ll talk to her tomorrow, but I am rather tired. You should go get some sleep. I'm okay, you can stay in the spare room tonight if you’d like and I can text you if I need anything or you can take my set of keys and go home that way you can get in if you need too.” Knowing that was going to be your only option to get the woman to actually sleep. “I think i'll go back home, but i'll leave my ringer on and come back in the morning to check on you.” She said softly seeing that you were on the mend. Soon you fell asleep until morning cuddling your wife.

#larissa weems #gwendoline christie #gwendolineuniverse #larissa weems x reader #larissa x y/n #principal weems #wednesday #larissa x wife!reader #pregnant!Larissaweems #pregnant!reader

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The Widow - Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Summary: Sam and Y/N are happily married, but everything changes after a fatal car accident leaves her a widow. The Winchester motto: "Family Don't End with Blood," takes on a whole new meaning for Y/N as she navigates her new normal with the help of her brother-in-law, Dean. But what no one can tell her, is what happens when she falls in love again?   

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F!Reader (past) | Dean Winchester x F!Reader (eventual)

Warnings: fluff, first date, kissing, angst, tears, language

Words: 3,236

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The leaves are starting to change colour now, you notice as you walk through the park on your way to have lunch with Dean. The year has seemed to have gone by in the blink of an eye, and it surprises you to think it’s been so long since Sam died. Christmas, Sam’s birthday and your wedding anniversary were tough days, but you got through them. The next big hurdle will be the anniversary of his death, but you’ll handle that as you’d handled everything so far, taking it a day at a time – or hour at a time, if you needed to.

Thursday has quickly become your favourite day. Dean insisted on these weekly lunches to check in and keep an eye on you. At first, you hated them, assuming he felt some kind of obligation to look after you, or because he didn’t think you could look after yourself. When the grief had lessened and you began to feel more like yourself again, you realised how wrong you were.

Yeah, he asked how you were doing and if you were taking care of yourself, but then the conversation would quickly become about work and how your week had been, and he had a genuine interest in you and your life. Whenever you smiled, his face would light up like a Christmas tree, and when you laughed (particularly if he’d been the one to make you do it), he would grin so wide you feared his cheeks would hurt.

In turn, you became somewhat of a confidante for Dean too. He’d opened up to you about his plans for the family business when John finally decided to hang his coveralls up. He wanted to expand and open another shop across town. He wanted to take in troubled kids and train them on how to be mechanics. He has such a big heart, and it didn’t surprise you that he wants to save kids from taking the wrong path. What was more of a shock, was Dean asking you to help him make it happen. Before you’d even opened your mouth to protest, he cut you off with a firm voice: “I know what you’re going to say, and it’s bull. You’re a part of this family, Y/N. Maybe not by blood, but you are a Winchester. Besides, family don’t end with blood, or even a name, sweetheart.”

It was then you knew the weekly lunches weren’t just to look after “Sammy’s girl” and Dean genuinely did care for you and considered you his family. It was humbling, and it helped you to heal because you’d been worried John and Dean would lose patience with you and eventually stop checking in or inviting you to Sunday dinner. The fact that Dean asked you to join the family business to oversee the expansion, even though you’d yet to give him an answer, meant the world to you.

The Impala is already in the car park when you arrive at the Roadhouse and as you pass her, you ghost your fingers over her hood in a wordless greeting before heading into the restaurant. Walking into the building, you smirk as you see Jo twirling her hair around her fingers and giggling at Dean who has a patient smile on his face, but his bouncing knee gives away how uncomfortable he is with the unwanted flirtation.

“Hey, Jo!” You smile at the blonde, and see Dean’s shoulders drop as he visibly exhales at your timely arrival. “How are you?”

“Good, thanks! Can I get you your usual drink?” The waitress asks.

“Please,” you answer as you slide into the seat across from Dean.

“Oh, and Gordon’s special today is chicken parm,” Jo grins at you, knowing it’s your favourite.

“You know me too well!” You laugh.

“Dean?” The blonde bats her lashes at him.

“A bacon cheeseburger with extra fries. She always steals mine,” he points at you with a smirk and you chuckle softly.

“Alright, I’ll go get those drinks and put your order through. If you need anything else, just shout,” with one last flip of her hair, Jo sashays away with an exaggerated sway of her hips.

“Are you ever going to tell her you’re not interested?” You smirk at Dean as he scratches the back of his neck.

“What? She’s not interested in me,” Dean protests and you laugh loudly.

“Oh, come on! It is so obvious she’s into you! And here I thought you were Lawrence’s answer to Casanova!” you cackle.

“Yeah, well… people change,” Dean defends weakly. “I haven’t done any of that since the night Sam died, you know that.”

“Still?” You try so hard not to show your shock, but according to Dean’s bitch face, you fail miserably. “I’m sorry, that was rude. And absolutely none of my business,” you backtrack, and relax as you see Dean’s jaw unclench and his shoulders lower.

“It’s just…” he trails off and takes a deep breath. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just… the last time I went home with someone from a bar, my brother was killed.”

“I get it, Dean. You don’t need to explain to me,” you smile softly, and the conversation dies away as Jo sets down your drinks.

“So, what about you?” Dean asks almost shyly once Jo has left again.

“What about me?” You frown, before taking a sip of your beverage.

“The guy from work that keeps flirting with you. Have you asked him out yet?”

“Okay, first of all, he’s not flirting with me, he knows that I lost my husband and he's just being friendly…”

“Ha!” Dean scoffs, “friendly my ass! He wants to see your ass, if you know what I mean!” He pumps his eyebrows lewdly at you. 

“Second,” you say ignoring him completely, “even if he was flirting with me, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet.”

“Who said anything about a relationship? I said ask the guy out,” Dean says softly. “Dress up, have a night out on the town, have a little fun. No one’s saying you need to marry the guy.”

“I just don’t think it’s the right time. And I don’t even know if it’s something I want again,” you admit.

“What? Y/N, come on sweetheart. You can’t seriously think you’re never gonna fall in love again, do you?” Dean doesn’t even glance at Jo as she puts his plate in front of him, he just stares at you in disbelief.

“All I know right now is that I’m still in love with Sam,” you shrug and twirl spaghetti around your fork.

“And you always will be. Whether we’re talking next week, next year, or next decade, you will always love him. But it doesn’t mean you won’t fall in love with someone else at some point. Look, I’m not trying to force you into anything you don’t wanna do, alright? I just thought it might be nice for you to be wined and dined by someone other than me for a change!” He winked at you and bit into his burger, humming in approval at the taste.

“Oh, so you’re fed up with me, is that it?” You smirk. “Trying to palm me off, make me someone else’s problem?”

“Never,” Dean reassures you, even though he knows you’re messing with him. “I just don’t want to be sitting here with you in ten years and you regret not taking a second chance at love, a family… a happy life. You have a big and pure heart, and it holds too much love for you not to share it.” 

You smile at his compliment and ponder over what Dean said, both of you falling silent and enjoying your meal.

Dean’s words had no real effect on you until a few weeks later when you went for birthday drinks for someone in the office. That’s when you noticed that Jacob was indeed flirting with you.

You don’t know if it was flattery or the wine or even the two tequila shots you’d had when you first got to the bar, but here you are a week later, on a date you aren’t completely convinced you want to be on with the first guy who’s shown you that kind of attention since Sam.

Jacob is a nice guy. He’s handsome, charming, caring, and funny. He’s doing all the right things; things Sam would’ve done on a date like holding doors open for you, and pulling your chair out for you at the restaurant. He even stood from the table when you went to the restroom.

He’s made you laugh and listened intently to what you said, and his subtle flirtations have made you feel like a woman again. You’ve felt desirable and pretty and it’s felt so good to feel those things again. You feel good.

He’s even been considerate enough to ask a few times how you’re holding up with this being your first date since Sam had died. He hasn’t put a foot wrong, and you know this is what most people would call the perfect date with the perfect guy, but something’s missing and you can’t quite figure out what.

And that’s what’s led you to be standing with him at your front door. You know for sure you aren’t going to invite him into your home, but you also felt like you needed the extra time to try and figure out exactly how you feel about him. You’re both running out of reasons to stay out in the chill of the night, and you know figuring out what’s going on will need to wait.

“I had a nice time, Jacob,” you smile as you play with the keys in your hand. “Thank you for being so kind and patient with me.”

“I think it’s me who should be thanking you for letting me take you out tonight. I can’t imagine how difficult this must’ve been for you,” Jacob smiles softly and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear as he takes a step closer. “I know this might be too soon, but I have to ask. Can I kiss you?”

You stare at him for a moment, not sure what to say. A million things are running through your mind all at once, and it’s hard to pick out just one to focus on. Suddenly, your mind clears and all you can think about is how much fun you’ve had tonight. And it’s just a kiss, right? And with a handsome man no less. So, you nod your head, making Jacob smile wide, showing perfect teeth before quickly swiping his tongue over his lips and leaning towards you.

He’s respectful, only gently placing his hands on your waist as his lips touch yours and it’s… different. It’s not awful by any means, just strange. His lips are a little dry and chapped, despite his efforts to soften them with his tongue, and his hands seem to be too hesitant on your hips. When his tongue swipes at your lips, you open your mouth inviting him in. Almost immediately, your eyes fly open and you realise you feel absolutely nothing, and that maybe you’re not ready for this after all.

Or maybe, you panic, whatever part of you that can love had left when Sam did.

You pull away and try to remain calm. The last thing you need is to freak the guy out, or freak yourself out even more. It’s been months since you last had a panic attack and now is not the time or place.

“I should go,” you manage to smile at him. “It’s late and cold, but I really did have a lovely night.” You have no idea how you say it without your voice shaking or tears filling your eyes, but you do and you’ll take that small victory right now.

“Me too. Maybe we could do this again soon?” He asks and your heart twists at the hopefulness in his voice, and you can’t bring yourself to tell him it isn’t a good idea.

“Maybe,” you smile. “Goodnight.” You turn and quickly unlock the door, smiling at him one last time as you turn to close it behind you.

Flicking the lights on, you make your way to the kitchen, open the fridge and pull a bottle of cold water out. Ripping the plastic cap off you take a few large gulps, hoping the coolness will help calm down your racing heart.

You use the breathing techniques all those meditation classes taught you, but still, you feel your heart try to thump its way out of your chest. Quickly, you grab your keys and subtly look out of the window to check Jacob’s car is gone.

Seeing the road empty, you leave the house making sure the door is locked behind you, and get in your car with only one destination in mind.

Dean.

“Wow! Don’t you look beautiful,” Dean grins as he opens the door, but it soon fades and he clenches his jaw in anger as the tears finally spill from your eyes. “What did he do? I’ll kill him!” He fumes and you shake your head and push him back into the house, following behind him.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on, sweetheart, or do I have to hunt the bastard down?” Dean asks once your tears have stopped, taking a seat on his couch and tapping the space next to him for you to join him.

“It wasn’t him… well it was, but it’s not what you think,” you say quickly as he shoots up from the couch and grabs his car keys. “Dean, please, just listen.”

“Alright,” he relents and sits on the edge of the sofa once more, his knee starting to bounce.

“The date was fine, he was the perfect gentleman,” you begin, and Dean frowns at you.

“I don’t understand. Then why are you crying?” he asks, and you laugh when you realise just how ridiculous this all is.

“I don’t know! I shouldn’t be! He’s handsome, and funny, and kind! You know he asked me if I was doing okay several times because he knew it was my first date since Sam? He did everything right. It was the perfect date.”

“You’re not making any sense, Y/N. If it was so perfect, why are you so upset?”

“Because he kissed me!” you yell frustrated. “He kissed me and it should’ve felt right, I should’ve felt something, but it just felt… I just felt numb,” you finally admit. “What if I’m broken? What if I was only ever meant to be with Sam?”

“Y/N…” Dean trails off, and you know he’s trying to think of something that will comfort you.

“I should’ve felt something, right? Like even if it was like a flutter in my stomach or my heart hammering, right? Or even just disinterest,” you don’t know if you’re asking or begging at this point.

“You really felt nothing?” Dean’s tone is sincere, holding none of the judgement you thought it would.

“Not a single thing,” you confirm and he raises his eyebrows as he thinks over what you’ve told him. “I’m broken, aren’t I?”

“No, sweetheart, you’re not broken. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Perfect date or not, you can’t force yourself to feel what you don’t feel,” he consoles you, and deep down you know he’s right.

“But how do I know for sure?” It slips out before you can stop it, “what if the same thing happens on the next date? And the next one, and the one after that.”

“Hey,” Dean stands up from the sofa and takes your hands in his. “Look at me. That’s my girl,” he whispers when you look up at him. “That won’t happen. The only reason it happened tonight is that, although Jacob may be perfect, he’s not perfect for you, alright?”

You know what he’s saying is right, and as his words sink in, you feel foolish that you drove across town at eleven on a Friday night to freak out over a meaningless kiss. Huffing a defeated sigh and standing up, you grab your keys to leave. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry for barging in so late with more drama. I’ll let you get back to your night,” you smile flatly and turn to the door.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart,” Dean says as he gently grabs your wrist to stop you from leaving.

“It’s fine, Dean. I’m fine. I just want to go home,” you shrug him off.

“And do what? Sit there alone and overthink this?”

“Overthink it? Dean, it was a kiss with a guy I’m clearly not attracted to. You said so yourself,” you argue.

“It’s not about the kiss though, is it? Not really. It’s about more than that. It’s about you thinking your ability to love died with Sam.”

“Dean, don’t–” you insist, not wanting to hear it, but he’s quick to cut you off.

“Don’t what, Y/N? Don’t tell you the truth? Don’t try to make you see there’s nothing wrong with you. That you’re perfect, and Jacob just isn’t worthy of having you. That you’re beautiful and smart, and one day you will find the person who’s right for you.”

“Dean…” you say, but you don’t know how to follow it up, and so you shut up and stare at the floor.

“Do you trust me?” he questions.

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation from you and when you tear your eyes from the floor to look at him, you see him smile softly at your admission.

“Okay. Right or wrong, good or bad, promise me we’ll talk about this,” he pleads with you.

“Talk about what?” you frown.

“What I’m about to do. Please Y/N, promise me,” he begs once more.

“Alright, I promise.”

Dean steps closer to you and cups your cheeks in his large, calloused hands before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. His lips are surprisingly soft, and the scent of everything that’s just Dean surrounds you and dazes you.

And then you feel it.

The butterflies that swarm in your stomach; the haze that descends over you, cutting off all thought except for him and his lips on yours. Without warning, a whine escapes your throat and you open your mouth to encourage Dean to really kiss you, moaning when he does.

It’s good. And you feel like you did all those years ago when Sam kissed you for the first time. Lifting your arms, you circle them around Dean’s shoulders and pull him flush with your body and deepen the kiss.

His hands ghost down your back and snake around your waist. The kiss begins to soften and when his lips part from yours, he chuckles as you chase after them with your own. 

“Not broken?” he asks, resting his forehead on yours.

“Definitely not broken,” you respond breathlessly.

“Told you,” Dean chuckles and presses his lips to yours again, much softer and more innocent this time. You aren’t sure who makes the move, but before you fully comprehend what’s going on, your lips are on his again and you’re pushing the flannel from his shoulders. Dean picks you up and encourages you to wrap your legs around his waist and carries you to the bedroom.

Next Chapter>>

@deans-spinster-witch @muchamusedaboutnothing @kazsrm67 @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @leigh70 @waynes-multiverse @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @chriszgirl92 @stoneyggirl2 @marilynnlew @ilovedean-spn2 @deans-baby-momma @acitygrownwillow @xxsovereignsarayaxx @frozenhuntress67 @lacilou @rach5ive

#the widow #dean winchester x reader #au dean winchester x reader #ansgt #fluff #tw: grief #tw: grieving

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American - Part 19^

This one's a bit sad as it's going into Y/N's family a bit, but it ends well! I hope you guys like it.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: family drama, death/grief, toxic family dynamic, mentions of miscarriage

WC: 8.7K

Leaving England was honestly one of the saddest things that Y/N ever had to do. She had taken to Harry’s family so well that she almost felt like she was saying goodbye to her own family. And the kids… Archie cried when he said goodbye to her and Harry, but she assured him that she’d be back to visit soon, which Harry echoed as he kissed his nephew on the head. And well, saying goodbye to his sister, grandmother, and mother was just as tearful. Harry was the one doing the comforting, as he was a little more accustomed to saying goodbye this way. It made him really happy that it was hard for her to also leave his family, they really were amazing people and he was glad that she felt the same way about them.

The flight back felt even longer than the one they took to England, maybe because they were both sad to go. But when they arrived they were happy to see Julie waiting for them at the arrivals terminal.

“Welcome back!” She smiled happily and hugged Y/N and Harry tightly, “I missed you guys. How was it?” She asked immediately and she started to talking to her about it all. Harry was smiling from the back seat, just listening to her saying praise after praise about his family.  Thankfully, they had the weekend to recover from their journey, so as soon as they got in they had a shower and they knocked out in Y/N’s room. 

Harry woke up close to dinner time and carefully unwrapped himself from her body to go get some water. 

“Hey.” Harry grumbled softly as he walked into the kitchen to see Julie leaned on the counter eating some dinner.

“Are you guys hungry? I didn’t know if I should wake you.” Julie said and Harry shook his head.

“Y/N is still out and I’m just thirsty.” He explained and she nodded.

“I’m glad things went really well.”

“Yeah, I mean, I knew it’d be good, but it just brought a lot of stuff up…I’m sure she’ll talk to you about it when you guys have some private time, but ummm…we discussed getting to meet her father soon hopefully.”

“Oh my dear brother…” she sighed with a smile, “Has she warned you properly?” Julie asked and he smiled.

“Oh yeah…she already told me that he’d probably hate me for the next decade… but ummm, whether he likes me or not, I don’t want to go behind his back, I want him to know that I’m going to propose to her.” He said and she smiled.

“Well, whether he admits it or not, he’d appreciate you letting him know. But please, for the love of god, don’t ask him for permission. That’s so sexist.” She said and he smiled.

“I think the only person I should be asking for permission to marry Y/N is Y/N.” He said and she nodded, “My gran gave me her ring.” He said and Julie pouted with endearment.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’ve no idea how huge of a deal that is. After my grandad passed she said she wanted to be buried with it, didn’t want to part with it ever. But after seeing the way we are she wants me to propose with it.” He smiled.

“That’s so sweet of her. Do you know when you’re going to do it?”

“Not yet. She was talking about possibly going to see her parents for her birthday. So sometime after then.” He said, “Obviously, I may need your help sorting some details out.”

“Yeah, of course.” She smiled, “You know, I’m really happy things went so well with your family. That they were so welcoming and lovely her.”

“They really loved her.” He hummed fondly. “And well I think she’d thrive there, you should’ve seen her.” He smiled and Julie pouted with endearment.

“I can only imagine…I can’t wait until she tells me everything.” She said and Harry smiled.

“Well let me see if Y/N’s hungry, what’d you make?”

“Just butter pasta with fresh parm.”

“Well, I’ll definitely be back.” He said and she smiled as he hurried off. He was quiet as he made his way back into the bedroom and cozied back up beside Y/N as she stirred awake. “Where’d you go?” She asked softly and Harry smiled at her rapidly blinking eyes and slightly pouty lips. He leaned down and pecked her quickly, making her smile.

“To get some water. Want dinner? Julie made buttery, cheesy pasta.” He said and she nodded. “Want me to bring it?”

“I’ll get up. Let’s just stay here for a second.” She said before she yawned and he mimicked her yawn as she nuzzled her face into his neck. “Remember when you slept over that time after the halloween party?”

“Course I do.” He said lowly.

“You asked me to sleep with you because it was hard for you to fall asleep in new places.” She recalled, “That’s when I started to like you. It was cute and it made me worry about you from then on.” She confessed and he smiled before he kissed her cheek.

“I liked you after you forgave me but told me you didn’t want to be friends.” He said and she laughed softly.

“What? Why?” 

“I don’t know… I guess I just found it so attractive that you respected yourself enough not to cave just with an apology.” 

“Well I’ve had a lot of chances to practice that…” she sighed and he smiled, “Also, I kind of wanted you to grovel a little…and you were about to weren’t you?”

“I definitely was about to.” He chuckled as he recalled the moment.

  “And why didn’t you?” she asked and Harry smiled.

“I ummm…I wanted to show you that I could be different. I feel like I hadn’t needed to prove myself to anyone in a long while and ummm…I want to prove myself to you. And I guess it felt good to try and find myself again, even if it was just to get on your good side at first. But then I just…continued down that path for me.” He said softly before kissing her cheek again, “And look at us now…”

“Yeah, look at us.” She hummed happily.

*********

In the weeks that followed there was plenty of discussion about the future. Harry was starting to plan his proposal. He wanted it to be something intimate and clearly personal. He knew that Y/N wouldn’t really care about when or how he did it, but he still wanted to put some thought into it. Meanwhile, Y/N was thinking very seriously about her future with Harry and what she wanted life to look like with him, so she was at the doctor right now for her annual check up with one question on her mind.

“Everything is looking great! As always, if we find any irregularities in your bloodwork we’ll give you a call. Is there anything you have questions about?” Her doctor asked.

“Ummm, yeah actually. So as you know, I got the implant almost 2 years ago now. Umm…and I was wondering what needs to be done to take it out? Or like does it cause any delay in pregnancy?” She asked.

“Oh!” Dr. Ramirez smiled at her, “Are you having any issues with the implant or just planning for the future?” She asked.

“No issues, just planning ahead. My partner and I are starting to talk about the future and about the implications of that…and well, honestly, we keep talking about kids.” She said and Dr. Ramirez smiled, “I think we’re both very eager, so I just wanted to plan ahead if needed.” She explained.

“Yeah, understandably so! So really, we can remove it at any time, it’s the same way we got it in.” She shared and Y/N nodded, “And with it out you can pregnant at anytime so long as it’s the right time.” She explained, “You shouldn’t experience any issues or delays.” She assured her with a smile, “And I mean, if this is something you guys are wanting to get working on quickly we can also check on your reproductive health more closely if you want.” She reminded.

“Oh, perfect! Yeah, I think that would be good. Obviously, I think I need to discuss it with him before we proceed with any appointments or procedures, but it’s good to know.” She nodded and Dr. Ramirez smiled.

“Of course. Just call back if you need to schedule something. It was good to see you.” She smiled kindly before showing herself out. Y/N proceeded to get dressed and was soon heading off to Harry’s place. He had a huge chest/torso piece he had started today and had been at the shop working on this guy from 10am to about 4:30pm, so he had a short day because of that, and well, she’d had left her doctors appointments at 3 that day. But she’d been able to get her eye exam done and her full physical, she figured it was best to try and get everything done in one day if possible to avoid taking multiple days off. As soon as she found a parking spot down the street she grabbed her bag and headed over to his building door, thankfully someone was coming out and she had been able to make it in without having to call Harry. When she got down the hall she heard some muffled swanky music from outside of the door and she smiled before she knocked and second later Harry was opening the door with a big smile.

“Hello, my love!” He greeted her enthusiastically as he led her inside, “How were your appointments?” He asked as she slipped out of her shoes as he grabbed her bag.

“Pretty good actually.” She said and he pecked her lips quickly, “Good.” He hummed before he hurried off to the bedroom to put her bag down. He seemed to be in a really great mood for some reason. When he came back he went straight into the kitchen. He seemed really on task. “So what’s got you all…whatever is going on?”

“What do you mean?” He looked at her with some confusion.

“You just seem really diligent.” She giggled as she came into the kitchen.

“Oh! I bought these like “focus” gummies and they’re working really well. Too well I think. I feel like I’ve had caffeine injected into my blood stream.” He chuckled and she giggled along, “I got in around 5 and I did all my laundry, I changed the bed sheets, I cleaned the bathroom, and then had a shower. And now I’m making dinner!” He said cheerfully and she laughed at just how cracked out he seemed.

“You’ve had a busy day.” 

“Definitely.” He chuckled.

Harry then started telling her about the tattoo he was doing on this guy and how he’d been trying to get in with him in England for years and just couldn’t seem to make it work. The man was littered in tattoos apparently and had left his chest and torso opened because he’d been wanting that to be saved for him. Then the man had lost his job and had to use his saved up money to hold him over. And he had been trying to save up again for it and had just recently made it all up. Harry wanted to do everything perfectly since the man was investing a couple thousand on this custom piece by Harry. Obviously, he knew the elements he wanted in it, but he wanted Harry to do his spin on it and to customize it to his own body. They’d been planning for weeks. This was one of those instances where Harry charged a price for his work on the design and then charged the tattooing sessions by the hour so that the guy could decide just how long he wanted to take - obviously there was a range that Harry would give the clients based on how little or how much it could be. But the man just really wanted it to be perfectly executed and thankfully his first session had gone really well. That was their dinner conversation as Harry just shared his vision in between bites. 

“I can’t wait to see how it looks on him! Did you take a picture today?”

“Yeah, I’ll show you later. S’on my phone.” He assured, “And what about you? Anything exciting at the doctors?” He asked as he set their dishes in the sink.

“Ummm, not exciting, but there was something I did want to talk to you about.” She said and he hummed as he then went over to the “living room” area where she was now getting comfy on his couch and he made his way over and sat right beside her. 

“OK, what about?” He asked her as he tugged at her pant leg to get her to drape her legs over his lap and she smiled as she rearranged herself so that his hand was running up and down her thigh as he looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

“So ummm…” she paused and glanced down at his hands for a second, she wasn’t sure why she was so nervous to talk to him about this when they talked about it constantly now, “Well, you know we’ve been planning for the future more actively now and one thing that kind of keeps coming up in the discussion seems to be about kids.” She said and he smiled and nodded, “And so I just asked about the implant that I have and when I can remove it and whatnot-”

“Oh? What did the doctor say?” He cut in and she shrugged.

“Just whenever, there shouldn’t be any issues where you have to wait ages to get pregnant or something. She said it can be pretty quick.” She shared and he smiled, “And ummm, well she also said that if we, well if I was interested in seeing how my reproductive health is we could make an appointment. Obviously, surface level everything is fine, we did that today. But I think she meant like internally and all. I don’t know why I feel so nervous about talking about this.” She giggled softly and he squeezed her thigh just a bit.

“Maybe because it kind of feels like it’s becoming more real? I have goosebumps, look!” He said showing her his arm and she chuckled.

“So what do you think?” She asked him a bit nervously.

“Well, what do you think?” He turned it around on her, “Like I just want to do whatever you’re happy with, babe.” He said and she bit her lip.

“Umm…I mean, I would definitely like to see how things are internally. Just to make sure there are no foreseeable issues, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, you’re more than welcome to come along! Like if you have questions or something…?” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’d love to if you want me to.” He assured and she nodded.

“And I mean…I know we’re still kind of planning ahead for everything else and all, but ummm, if you…wanted to just get started with kids I’m not…opposed to that?” She said and he was grinning even wider now.

“Are you sure?” He asked and she giggled nervously.

“Yeah, I am. Like…obviously, I think right now might not be ideal since we’re just starting to really get settled at work and well. But I mean, once we get engaged I don’t see why we can’t just…see what happens.” She shrugged nervously and he bit on his lip to tone down his smile.

“Baby…” he said and she hummed, “This is really great news.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah?” She asked and he nodded, “Good! I was a little nervous to bring that up.” She sighed and he smiled, “I just ummm…I don’t know, like things just feel really right with us. Especially after meeting your family. Like…I don’t know, but like I would want that for our baby or babies, you know? To like have them around and be in our lives as much as possible.” She explained.

“So are you saying we’d move to England?” He asked with a smirk and she bit her lip and shrugged.

“I uh…I think I am.” She said with a surprised chuckle, “Yeah.” She nodded after thinking about it for a second and he was just looking at her with the biggest smile on his face, “What?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t think I would feel this happy about us possibly moving over there.” He confessed and Y/N smiled, “Baby, we’re gonna be such great parents…” Harry said to her happily and she giggled.

“I think we would be too.” She agreed with a small giggle.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I just…hold you for a moment?” He asked and she smiled and nodded. She quickly straddled his lap and they just embraced each other for a moment. For a while Harry had been feeling like he’d never get to have these experiences in life because he himself had been so lost. He felt like he had gone down the wrong path, like he’d never meet someone who would love him and respect him enough to build a life with him. And as he looked back he saw just how unprepared he had been before, mentally and emotionally. But now he was more confident than ever that he was ready to build his future with Y/N. This person in his arms was his life partner, undoubtedly so. Everything about her was perfect for him, she made him want to be his best and he loved that about her. He was absolutely in love with her and if it weren’t for his promise to just talk to her parents about their relationship first he would’ve just asked her to marry him right now. “I love you. I love you so much.” He said softly and she smiled.

“I love you too, H. So, so much.” She responded.

“I think we need to just talk to your parents soon because…I don’t want to wait to ask you to marry me.” He said and she giggled.

“I mean…you can ask whenever you want…” she hummed. She was feeling rather impatient, “But umm… it’s a long weekend. Maybe we can take a drive up for Sunday and Monday?”

“Really?” He asked as he pulled back to look into her eyes and she nodded.

“Yeah. I mean…depending on how that goes I may or may not want them around for my birthday.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“True…then ummm, let’s plan for the weekend then.” He said and she hummed before leaning in to kiss his lips softly and slowly. She didn’t care what her dad said anymore, all that mattered was her happiness now. 

********

Harry felt like he was going to throw up as they were about 15 minutes away from her parents house. They had just planned on lunch at their house and if things went well then they’d find a place to stay over night and if not, they’d just drive back to LA. Of course, they were both hoping that things would go well, but it wasn’t really up to them to set the tone of the day. He had even dressed up a little bit to give a better impression, but he still felt really nervous. Even more so when they parked along the side walk. Y/N’s childhood home was nice. It wasn’t huge, but it looked spacious. They had a nice garden up front and it looked inviting enough.

“Deep breaths, baby.” She said to him and he nodded and inhaled slowly. 

“Right…right.” He said softly before turning to her. “I’m ready, lets just go.” He said and she nodded.

“Before we do that, I just need you to know that no matter how that goes, I love you. I want to build a life with you. And I choose you today and will continue to choose you for the rest of my life.” She said to him with a soft and reassuring smile and he returned her encouraging gesture, “Now we can go!” She said and they got out of the car. Harry had bought flowers and had even brought a good bottle of scotch for her dad. They only waited a few seconds after ringing the doorbell before her mom opened it up. 

“Hey, you two!” She said happily and hugged Y/N and then Harry, “Your dad seemed really calm, so I think we’re looking good. He didn’t come out because he didn’t want to seem too eager.” She said quietly to them and they both nodded and smiled before looking at each other.

“These are for you.” Harry said.

“Oh, thank you. They’re lovely.” Marcia said to Harry as she hugged him quickly.

“I’m glad you liked them.” He said to her. She had been a bit more communicative with Y/N and well, Harry was around a lot so they’d greet each other and whatnot, but she was still quite guarded.

“And grandma?” Y/N asked.

“She ummm, she made other plans with her church group, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” She said to her and to Harry. Y/N just nodded but decided to not show her disappointment.

“It’s alright. You can just tell her Harry and I got her these.” She said with the other bouquet in her hand and Marcia nodded. 

“Well, let’s head on to the patio. We set up a little seating area outside, like we’ve always wanted to.” She said as she guided them through,  “You can leave the flowers and scotch here if you like.” She said as she patted on the kitchen counter, so they set the things down as she guided them to the back door, “We also redid the bathroom upstairs.” She said and then smiled at Y/N. “Oh, that’s nice! When did you do that?”

“About a month or two ago?” She said and then opened up the backdoor to lead them outside. 

“Nice.” She hummed and then glanced outside, “Oh, it’s so cute, mom!” Y/N exclaimed with a smile.

“Really? You guys like it?” She asked of the little picnic style table that had been set up. She had these little cushions on the wooden bench and even a spot for an umbrella if they ever needed shade.

“Yeah, it’s lovely!” Harry agreed with a smile, “Even have a little garden going.” He noted as he walked around to see the flowers in long planters along the fence.

“Yeah, I needed a relaxing hobby.” Marica shared and he smiled as he nodded in understanding.

“Are you liking it so far?” He asked her and she shrugged.

“I mean the potting was fun!” She said and made them giggle, “One of my friends encouraged me to get rose bushes and she said she’d teach me about pruning. We’ll see how I fair there.” She said and they both chuckled, “Alright, I’m gonna go grab your dad.” She said to Y/N.

“Do you need help with bringing anything out?” Harry asked.

“Maybe just some glasses? I made some strawberry lemonade, the pitcher’s in the fridge.” She said and then glanced to Y/N.

“Yeah, we’ve got it.” She assured and so they followed her back inside and she headed off to get Daniel, Y/N’s father, while she and Harry just grabbed the glasses and lemonade before making their way out. They sat down, expecting them to come out right away, but it was about a minute or two before she turned to Harry with a nervous smile and he just grabbed her hand.

“S’alright.” He assured her and she rolled her lips together nervously.

“She’s so nervous. She’s talking to me about her renovations like I’m the neighbor or something…” she sighed, “Something’s not right.” Y/N said to him and he looked a bit concerned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure…she hasn’t been this awkward on the phone or anything. Something is definitely up.” She concluded as she glanced around. Everything seemed so quiet and undisturbed…even when she had greeted them at the door, her mom had been quiet, almost as if she did not want to disturb anyone with the noise and then it dawned on her. “Baby, I don’t think my dad knew we were coming.” She said to him and he frowned.

“I think she just said yes without saying anything to him.” She explained with even more nerves. Suddenly the door to the backyard swung open and her dad came out with a slight frown as her mom trailed after him.

“Daniel, please don’t be upset, I asked them to come.” She said, but they both heard it as he stopped before them and Y/N could hardly speak as he eyed her over and then looked Harry over before glancing back to Y/N.

“Bringing another winner home to meet us.” He said with some snark and Y/N frowned.

“Dad, please don’t be like that.” Y/N pleaded softly and he shook his head.

“You know what I’m going to say to you about this. About him.” He said not even sparing a glance at Harry, almost as if he didn’t want to acknowledge his existence, “I don’t know why you think that showing up here means I’m going to change my mind. I won’t.” He said simply and she felt her eyes start to well up.

“Dad, just give us a chance.” She appealed earnestly and he sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t want anything to do with you while you’re off in LA wasting your life like Julie. When you have come into some reason we can talk, but I’m not doing this.” He said before he started to turn around and head back inside. Marcia stopped before him and spoke to him softly with tears running down her cheeks and Harry just sighed before deciding to speak up.

“Sir, I’m Harry, I’m sorry if we interrupted your day. We wanted to come because we just wanted to let you know that we’re planning to get married.” Harry said and this made Y/N’s dad freeze before he turned back around and he and Marcia both gave Harry their undivided attention.

“Well you don’t have my blessing.” He said simply and Harry sighed as Y/N grabbed his hand and he smiled softly at her before turning back to her parents.

“That’s alright, I didn’t expect it. But I will still ask Y/N to marry me, I just wanted you to be aware that it was happening.” Harry explained, “I can see that you’re not seeing eye to eye right now, but family is important. And well, whether you’re speaking or not, Y/N is your daughter and I’m sure you love her and I know she loves you regardless and I just wanted you to know that I love her too. Very much. We make each other happy and we want to make that commitment to each other. And well, it would mean the world to have your support. It truly would!” He smiled at them, “But if that’s not possible, alright then. We just wanted you to know what’s going on with us.” He finished with a nod and then he glanced to Y/N who was tense and squeezing Harry’s hand hard. She glanced into his eyes with her tearful eyes and he smiled at her and she relaxed a bit and smiled back softly, “Let’s go then.” He said to her and she held in her tears and disappointment and nodded.

“Yeah.” She said quietly and just grabbed her purse from the bench. “It really does look nice out here, mom.” She offered a final compliment as her mom’s tears fell quietly. Her dad didn’t even spare them a glance as they walked past him and she shook her head. “We’ll show ourselves out.” She said softly and pulled Harry back to the backdoor.

“Goodbye, Marcia and Daniel, it was lovely to see you.” Harry said before he and Y/N headed back inside as soon as they closed the door they could hear her parents starting to argue. Harry frowned as Y/N instantly broke down, he pulled her into his chest and held her close.

“I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you.” He assured as she sobbed. Because of the way they were standing she was facing the fridge and as she cried and just absentmindedly looked in that direction she noticed something. She moved out of Harry’s hold and made her way around the counter and she frowned as she grabbed the item that had captured her attention from the fridge with shaky hands as another sob broke from her body, “Baby, what is it?” Harry asked immediately as he hurried over and she turned around and showed him the paper. He didn’t expect to see a program insert of who he assumed was her grandmother with a “In loving memory” message at the bottom.

“They never said anything to me.” She whispered with so much shock and hurt.

“Oh my god…I’m so sorry.” Harry said quietly as she walked back into his arms for a few moments.

“Get me out of here. I just want you to take me home.” She whimpered and he nodded.

“OK, baby.” Harry agreed before guiding her back to the front door and to their car, the photo still clutched in her hand.

“Julie’s gonna be so hurt and furious…should I call her now or wait until we get home?” Y/N cried as she and Harry got buckled in.

“Baby, I love Julie, but you just need to worry about you right now. You just found out too.” He said and she exhaled shakily and nodded. As she let that sink in she started to cry harder.

“Baby, just drive. Go somewhere else, I can’t be here.” She sobbed and he nodded and started her car and took off. He made a few random turns and got them to a library parking lot. As soon as he parked he reached for her hand and she took it and squeezed as she inhaled shakily.

She was so angry. She wanted to scream out of frustration and hurt. How could they not have even bothered to give them a call…that was the most absurd thing! That was Julie’s mother…they didn’t think she’d want to know? Even if they were estranged! She was quite literally shocked at this discovery. She wasn’t even sure what to feel. She got out of the car and just breathed deep and paced a few times. Harry walked out as well and he rounded the car.

“Baby, is there anything I can do?” He asked her and she shook her head.

“I just…I just need a minute.” She choked on her tears and he nodded and decided to just go back over to sit in her car. He knew what it was like to get news like this…he hated it when people would tell him that it was alright or that he’d be OK. Yeah, he knew he would be eventually, but he didn’t need to hear that in the moment. He just needed to process and make his mind up about what he felt then. And as much as he wanted to hold her and comfort her, if she needed some space, she needed space. He knew that she’d come to him if she needed him. She proceeded to just walk up to the library and then back to the car several times as Harry just kept a close eye on her.

Harry tried not to judge, but he didn’t understand how anyone could treat their own family this way. He was angry at her parents, even at her grandmother, for shutting her out this way. He’d understand if she was a criminal or was doing horrific things, but she was just expressing herself! He couldn’t see why this was so awful to them that they refused to talk to her. What about the way that they lived and treated people made them better than her, or him, or Julie? If anything, in his eyes they were the awful people, not her or him. From what he could see they were obstinate, self-righteous, and too proud. There was no way that a rational human being couldn’t see or be aware that something had gone too far. And this feud they created with Y/N, their daughter, it had gone too fucking far. It made Harry want to yell at them and berate them for hurting her like that. For shutting her out and denying her of something every person deserves, love, from their own family. 

His family wouldn’t ever dream of doing something like this to him or even to her! He was so mad, so fucking mad and he wanted to help make things right, but clearly her family wasn’t interested in that. He felt bad for Marcia, because she had been trying as of late, but she lied too. She kept something so big from Y/N and that was so wrong. Maybe, her grandmother didn’t care to see her or Julie, but they could’ve at least said something about the funeral. If her grandmother was dead she wouldn’t know that they had shown up to say goodbye or pay their respects. This was a level of fucked up that he couldn’t even understand to some extent. He sat there thinking and waiting on Y/N for nearly 20 minutes before she came back and just sat down in the passenger seat and she just let out a long, slow sigh before turning to him and clearing her throat.

“Let’s go home.” She said and he nodded. 

“Do you want to stop for water or a snack?” He asked as he started to peel away towards the highway.

“Yeah, but when we’re out of the town.”

“OK.” He said and reached for her hand and she slotted their fingers together as he took off. She was quiet for about 15 minutes, just staring at the road straight ahead.

“Am I being crazy for never wanting anything to do with them again?” She asked him softly and he glanced to her briefly.

“At this moment, no. But that’s a big thing, love. And of course, this is your family and your experience, so however you want to move forward, I’m here for you. I have your back.” He clarified, “But just give it some more thought when you’re not as angry at them.” He suggested and she sighed.

“I’m always angry at them, H. Like how could anyone even think that doing this to someone is OK?!” She raised her voice and he shook his head.

“I don’t know, love. I’ve been thinking about it and trying to understand it myself and I just…I can’t.” He said simply.

“And the way my dad was behaving?! Such a fucking child!” She shook her head in disappointment. “You must hate them…”

“I don’t hate them. Like, I don’t know them, how could I? I’m sure there are really great parts of them too, but I just…I think you deserve better.” He said softly and she nodded.

“I do.” She agreed, “My family used to be like yours.” She shared, “We were all so tight knit and playful and fun…I don’t know what changed…” she said and he nodded as he listened. “Like, I’ve always been the same person! Always! I just wish I could shake them awake! They’re missing everything!” She said to him, “They’d rather miss my entire life than to just put their pride aside and wish me well. I can’t…accept that.” She confessed, “And I feel stupid for it, you know? Time and time again they have proven to me that they don’t care to understand me or love me despite our disagreements. Like I try to understand where they’re coming from or to be respectful of their nonsensical views and opinions, I keep my mouth shut! I just tough it out when they all gang up on me or talk shit about Julie…I shouldn’t have expected that they’d have a change of heart.” She shook her head, “I’m sorry for doing this to you, baby. I should’ve known better…or just…stuck up for you or at least said something-”

“Baby, I really wanted to do this. You warned me. Julie warned me…I think it was worth a shot. If anything I’m sorry for…insisting. Like…I just hoped that he’d at least be happy for you or feel grateful that you wanted him to know about what’s going on with you. If I had known that they were…” he trailed off, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m glad we came because they never would’ve said anything about my grandma…” she said lowly and Harry sighed.

“How do you think Julie will take it?” Harry asked and Y/N sighed.

“I don’t know…I don’t think she’ll be too broken up about it. My grandma hasn’t spoken to her in years…how fucked up is that? Her own daughter!”

“I know…” he sighed sadly.

“Baby, when we have kids please promise me that you’ll never bring up the topic of them meeting my family.” She said and he glanced to her quickly before back to the road, “Like, if that were to happen I would want to come to that conclusion myself. I just…don’t want them around people like that. People who lie and neglect…who might treat them badly because of us.” She said and he nodded.

“I promise, my love. I promise.” He said to her. He knew he didn’t have kids with her yet, but just the idea of their hypothetical kids having an unpleasant experience with her family made him feel so angry and protective.

Y/N ended up falling asleep for about half the drive. She started getting nervous as they got closer and closer to home because she had no idea how she would even tell Julie what happened. She knew that Julie would know it was bad when they’d show up on the same day they left, so there was at least that. Y/N was basically trembling as she tried to key the door open.

“Here, my love, I’ve got it.” Harry assured her as he grabbed the keys from her and she thanked him quietly as he got the door open. As soon as they got inside they heard the TV on.

“Y/N, Harry?” She called out in question.

“Yeah, s’us!” Harry responded as he got his shoes off and Y/N as well. She soon appeared by the doorway with a small frown.

“I uh, I made some cinnamon rolls just in case. Your favorite.” She said to Y/N who was sniffling again as her tears started to fall, “Oh, come here, sweetie.” She said opening up her arms and Y/N hurried into them and she hugged her tight, “It’s alright. You’re home now, s’all that matters.” She assured softly and Y/N started to sob.

“It’s not that.” She whimpered as she pulled back and Julie frowned.

“Is something wrong?” She asked and Y/N inhaled sharply.

“Grandma died.” She said softly and Julie shook her head as if she was trying to make sure that this was real.

“Wait what?!” She asked with a frown.

“Yeah, I ummm, I saw this on the fridge.” She said as she reached into the hoodie she was now wearing and handed the picture that had been on the fridge to her. Julie’s eyes did tear up and she pouted sadly as her finger ran over the image of her mother a few times. The funeral had been 2 weeks ago.

“You know, for the last month or so I’ve just…I’ve had a nagging feeling about her.” She said to Y/N and Harry with a sniffle, “I tried calling her a few times and it would just ring out and ring out…like I know she doesn’t want to speak to me, but I’d still leave her messages, you know? And your mom even texted me once to tell me that she would listen to them…and well, she’d apparently proceed to talk shit according Marcia,” she chuckled a bit through her tears, “But she would still listen.” She shared, “And I called again last week and your dad answered and told me to stop calling her. I knew something was wrong then.” She sighed.

“Are you OK?” Y/N asked and Julie nodded.

“Yeah. I tried, you know? And what else could I have done? I told her I loved her and that I missed her and that I wasn’t angry at her or had any bad feelings towards her every time I left a message. So she knew I was OK with her and well, that’s all I could do, you know?” She said, “I mean, I’m shocked that they didn’t even say anything though…that’s just absurd…” she sighed sadly.

“I know, they couldn’t even tell us about the funeral?” She said and Julie shook her head.

“Well, not much we can do now.” She sighed in disappointment. “Was it OK apart from that?” She asked her and Harry.

“Ummm, turns out my dad didn’t even know we were coming. My mom was just trying to get my dad to be a little more openminded I guess. He barely even looked at me and just said the same shit he always does.” Y/N shook her head.

“I did tell him though that we were getting married. He didn’t say anything, but he knows now.” Harry added and Julie nodded.

“Yeah, what he does with that information is up to him…” Julie concluded and Harry and Y/N nodded.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” Harry asked again and Julie sighed.

“I think so. I mean, I’m still a bit shocked, but it doesn’t feel like I thought it would, I guess…” she explained. “Let’s go eat the cinnamon rolls, yeah?” She asked and they agreed and went over to the kitchen. Y/N and Harry stayed standing because they’d been sitting for about 8 hours total today. “Look, my mom and I have always had a complicated relationship. I’m her only girl and have never really been the kind of daughter she wanted. Even as a kid, she was a bit more hard on me than my brothers. She always expected more from me and just didn’t seem to understand that I was constantly around boys so I wasn’t all the feminine as a kid. When I got into high school obviously, I started maturing a little more and like my brothers’ friends started to like me and other boys as well, but that jus made girls not like me, you know? Because in my mind I was just “one of the guys” as they say. Because sure, they’d flirt with me, but it was mostly teasing me and giving me a hard time. Girls started saying that I was just going around with the guys in the grade above me and being from a small town word got around and that just made her more angry at me. You know, she was all churchy and shit…she was embarrassed of me and those rumors…” she explained to Y/N and Harry as they all ate, “But then my senior year I got mixed up with one of your uncle’s college friends and he got me pregnant. I was 17, he was 18, so it wasn’t anything super bad or teetering on illegal so to speak…but I had a miscarriage. I had no idea I was even pregnant!” She shared, “Well until all that happened. And ummm, after that things just became what they were between us and they never got better. I was 20 when I moved transferred to school here. My boyfriend at the time went to USC.” She explained, “And ummm, yeah I just never went back. I was a lot more chaotic then, I wanted to kind of stick it to her and my dad.” She said with a slight chuckle, “Kind of fucked myself in that process, but ummm, I was a stupid kid. I had no idea what I was doing. I was careless and felt like I didn’t need to make things right with them. And like, not for forgiveness sake, but just so that we could at least be civil, you know?”

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded in understanding.

“I did try when I was older, but she gave me the cold shoulder as did your dad and your uncle Rob, so I just…stayed here.” She shrugged.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not! I mean granted, I could’ve handled things better, but I was young and inexperienced, how else would I be expected to act? She wasn’t a child though, she was my mother, a grown ass woman and she was acting worse than I was. They’re all so emotionally immature.” She said, “And as time went on and I tried to make amends with them they just didn’t care about my efforts. Even when I was sick and dying they never called! They never checked in… and I just…accepted the fact that I’d never get to say a proper goodbye to them. Like you know how bad things got.” She glanced to Y/N who nodded, “So I’ve been ready to just not get any form of closure, but not because she died first, you know?”

“Yeah.” Y/N sighed sadly.

“I know that you had a very different experience with her growing up. I mean, Dan was always her favorite.” Julie smiled, “He was her baby, he could do no wrong, so I know you were special to her and I can’t believe that she despite everything happening with you she wouldn’t have at least wanted to say goodbye. With you I think she felt like she was getting a do-over. She was so involved and spoiled you rotten!”

“Yeah, she did.” Y/N smiled through her tears and Harry rubbed her back soothingly.

“She was always so proud though, she never would’ve said that she was wrong about how she handled things when you came to live with me. But she did love you. You have to know that.”

“I do.” Y/N sniffled and Julie smiled as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Good. That’s all that matters.” She hummed with a small smile.

*******

The next few days were quite sad and slow for Y/N more than Julie. It was good that Julie had felt like she’d made her peace with her mother even before her passing. But Harry wasn’t sure what he could even do to help Y/N get through this. He knew it wasn’t just grief, it was betrayal and disappointment. It was her wrestling with the idea of what she’d said in the car, that she maybe wanted nothing to do with her parents again.

Harry was quiet as he made his way down the hall and to her room in case she was asleep. She’s been resting a lot, just sitting with her thoughts really. He knocked twice before he opened the door slowly and peeked inside.

“Hey, my love.” He smiled as he saw her rolled over to face the door.

“Hey.” She said quietly as he came inside and leaned back on the door to shut it. Then he went over and sat on the edge of her bed.

“How are you feeling today?” He asked her as he took her hand and gently played with her fingers. 

“I’m alright.” She said quietly as she sat up against her headboard and he smiled.

“OK. How can I make you go from alright to good?” He asked her and she smiled a bit wider at his question.

“Well, ice cream for starters.” She said and he chuckled.

“OK, ice cream. I’ll definitely go grab some.” He assured, “Anything else?” 

“Maybe a kiss.” She said and he smiled.

“I can definitely do that.” He said as he leaned in and kissed her lips gently before pulling back and pecking the tip of her nose and she smiled at him.

“Thank you.” She hummed happily, “So I’ve been thinking…” she started and he nodded, to let her know he was listening. “I think I just…need to distance myself from my parents. I talked to my mom this morning and she just…she didn’t understand why I was so upset at what she’d hidden from me and Julie. And obviously, my dad told her not to tell us, but still, she didn’t have to! She’s just so…stuck under him, you know? She doesn’t see how that’s hurtful. Like she almost can’t do anything without his approval, which is crazy because my dad isn’t crazy like that. I think that she’s just afraid to lose him too.” She sighed and Harry nodded in understanding, “But ummm…I don’t trust them. I don’t feel like they care about our relationship as a family. And I’m tired of feeling like…like it’s all my fault when it’s not.” She explained with some sadness, but her tone and facial expression reflected definitiveness.

“Yeah, it’s not.” He assured her.

“Fuck…s’just Julie and me now, I guess.” She sniffled sadly and Harry shook his head as he stood and reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring box he’d brought to show Julie, but he sat back on the bed and flicked open the little box and she looked into his eyes, “Baby, that’s your-”

“My gran’s.” He said with a soft smile and she sniffled, “I planned on doing this in the most romantic way, I swear, but…I just want you to know that it’s not just you and Julie. It’s me and my family too if you want that. I love you with my whole heart and I promise you that if you say yes I will make sure that I spend the rest of my life making sure you feel so loved and happy, as much as I can. And not just me, you’ll have a whole group of people in your new family who love you and accept you and who see just how incredibly wonderful and special you are.” He said to her and she just knelt up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Of course it’s a yes.” She sniffled and he chuckled.

“I haven’t even asked yet!” He said and she giggled and pulled back to look in his eyes and she nodded, “Right!” He smiled, “Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked her with the biggest smile on his face and she nodded quickly.

“Yes. Yes. Yes! A million times yes.” She answered as she leaned in and their lips met as best as they could despite their smiles. “I love you. I love you so much.” She whispered happily and he smiled.

“I love you.” He responded. “Let’s get this on you.” He said of the ring and she smiled and nodded.

“Right!” She giggled and extended her left hand out to him and he slipped it onto her ring finger, it was actually a perfect fit. “Oh wow! S’perfect.” She said and he grinned as he looked into her eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” She nodded and he brought his hand up and kissed the back of it, “I complimented the ring when your gran had it on, I didn’t peer pressure her into handing it over, did I?” She asked with slight concern and he shook his head.

“No. I didn’t even ask her for it. She just saw how we were with each other and she insisted I propose with it.” He chuckled as his eyes welled up a bit as it hit him that they were engaged, “We’re gonna get married.” He said and she nodded as she sniffled.

“Yeah, my love. We’re getting married.” She smiled as she nuzzled her nose against his. She felt relief, this was a new beginning for them. It was just the start of their new life together.

----TAG LIST----

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#Harry Styles #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles fic #harry x y/n #harry x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #tattoo artist!harry #tattoorry #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles series #tattoo artist harry #harry styles fan fiction #boyfriend!harry #young american series #young american #writing #0nlythrowharrybeaux

[banannabethchase]

SPAGHETTI KISS RICKYDANNY

Spaghetto and Regretto

~

Spaghetti Kiss - Two people eating spaghetti or noodles end up kissing each other because they were slurping up the same strand of pasta. No apologies for the title.

~

“What’s next for the Red Death?” Ricky asks. Danny watches as he takes a delicate bite of his complicatedly named pasta dish, knowing he’s in public but not caring enough to be more discrete. “Are you going after Yuta again?”

“Well, probably,” Danny says, twirling the pasta around on his fork. “Just for fun. But I feel like the Pure Title is a little beneath me at this point.”

“Hey,” Eddie says, kicking his shin under the table. “Don’t be a bitch.”

“He’s not being a bitch,” Ricky says, and he shoots Danny the kind of grin that makes Danny want to perform. “He’s being accurate.” Ricky takes a bite of the pasta and levels Eddie with the eyes.

The only thing stopping Danny from getting under the table right now is the indecision of whose dick he’d put his mouth on.

“I knew it was a mistake takin’ both of you out at once,” Eddie grumbles to his chicken parm.

Danny shoots a grin at Ricky. “Hear that, baby?” he says. “Maybe that means we should be a little worse, just to make him regret it more.”

“Fuckin’ Christ.”

Danny feeds Ricky a bite of pasta then takes a bite himself.

And, he will swear until the day he dies, he didn’t do this on purpose.

But his final spaghetto is Ricky’s, and they end up kissing.

Eddie groans as Danny bites off the end and leans back. “You two plan that?” he asks. “This whole show a preview or something?”

Ricky shrugs. “Could be.” He puts his hand on Danny’s thigh under the table. “Why? You wanna see us be bitchy together?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Any time the two of you are together is you two being bitchy together.”

“And?” Danny asks. “You’ve never complained before.”

#EddieRickyDanny #wtf i like wrestling now??? #in which sara writes #sarahcakes613 #Truly unendingly stupid this one

[rothjuje]

I am tired, so tired. But also so happy.

I met a friend from Tumblr! It was my 4th time meeting someone from here, and everyone I’ve met has been wonderful. This is actually the first tumblr I’ve met that lives (relatively) close to me which is nice. We have plans to hang again in September, we’re going to visit goats and get ice cream haha.

We unpacked the kitchen!!! I had my first homemade meal after exactly two months in MA (last homemade meal was in TX on June 18th). It was nothing fancy, but it felt SO GOOD and so *normal* to cook again. I made one-pot pasta and why have I not done this before?! So easy and so creamy. I sautéed some onion, garlic, and carrots, put the pasta in, covered it in water, then added some tomato and parm at the end and it was so simple and good (the only thing it was missing was walnuts). I made a bunch of random things tonight (purple potatoes, sweet potatoes, quinoa, and peach cobbler from peaches the girls picked with Justin) and it just felt so homey and nice. Yesss.

Some leaves are starting to turn yellow here. I usually would think it was so pretty, except that I hate Fall so much they just annoy me. Ever since kindergarten I have associated Fall with dying leaves and plant death. Winter equals rest, Spring life, Summer fun, but Fall equals death. I feel like I just got to my house and now I’m going to have to watch everything shrivel up. Jess said that when all of our trees are naked we can wave to each other from our living rooms.

I am excited for winter though. I am excited to slow down. The way the world feels when it’s covered in snow, I can’t explain it. It feels quiet. Maybe not here though, maybe it will be alive with snow plows, adults going to work, kids going to school. But maybe it will be slow during that delicious last week of December. Justin thinks I will make it a week before going stir crazy. Maybe. I’m sure the first winter here will have some novelty factor. Probably not enough to last me 4 months though.

For a while I was thinking we probably couldn’t stay here long term because there’s just not enough usable land. But now I’m in love with our little town. I love our dentist, the shop owners, the neighbors of course. And I realized that living on a hill here is actually beneficial, because there are a lot of marshes here (and everywhere around here) and a lot of the land is water conservation land. We are not on conservation land, so we have more options. We have a good-sized area with a very small slope that we could level. We could take out maybe 5 trees and have a rather large space for a garden, the magical playhouse I have mentioned before, and chickens. There is a part above there that is more sloped, but I think we could get another good-sized area with a 4 ft retaining wall (max allowed). So. Options. I love to plan.

I must be feeling better mentally because I’ve decided I need two goats. And a pig. I’ve been watching way too many farming reels on Insta. And apparently you can raise pigs on hilly terrain.

I was thinking about making a walking path throughout our property, and clearing brush etc, maybe lining it with logs (we have sooo many branches and logs) and making it nice, maybe do a fairy tree at the very top of the hill so there is a fun destination for the kids to reach. I went to a Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco, and they had this magical exhibit. It was an epoxied tree stump, with pieces of paper next to it to write prayer notes like you would at the Kotel. And people slid little notes into the cracks of this stump and of course it wasn’t the same as the Kotel but it still felt pretty spiritual. Such a great idea.

Now to find time to do all the things..

[dancingqueen0019]

Saving Grace Ch. 10

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Author’s Note: Hello again everyone! I’ve got a few chapters typed up this time so prepare for plenty of content to come out. Some chapters are longer, other’s shorter...but they all have our favorite man :)

Warnings: There is a decent amount of death talk, however I bunched it into one spot. That is designated between a series of lines. If car crashes and death are not your thing, scroll past the series of solid lines (you don’t miss anything of great importance). 

On Tuesday morning I gingerly slid myself into my packed car and waved goodbye to my family as I pulled out from the long driveway. Lewis and I had mostly broken in Dipshit and the cows were ready to go for the Fall. 

Grandma sent me home with a cooler full of frozen meats, breads, and cookies so I wouldn’t miss her cooking for too long. I promised I would be out soon to help around the house and gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

Murphy enjoyed his time by chasing the goats all weekend and even learned what a cow looked like and what a cow hoof to the head felt like. His fault for trying to go near her calf though. He quickly ducked back under the fence and ran straight for me to cuddle him and tell him that he would be okay. 

At this point, I had enough time to get home, unload the cooler, put Murphy away, and change clothes for my lunch date. I was looking forward to meeting up with Lindsey, but even more so for getting all the chunky baby cuddles in with her little one Mavery. Until I have kids of my own, I relish any opportunity to hold, play with, or even babysit my friend’s kids. I’ve become the “Aunt” of my coworkers and a couple of them have already booked me to watch their kids for a much needed date night with their spouses/partners. 

Murphy settled in on the passenger seat and let out a high pitched yawn. I rubbed his ears and went to turn up the radio. My phone buzzed in the cup holder and when I got to a stopsign I picked it up to notice a message from Aaron. 

Aaron: Good morning. Are you on the road yet?

Me: Yes, already left. I can’t wait to see you tonight :) 

Aaron: Drive safe darling

My breath caught in my throat for a second and an ooey gooey feeling spread across my chest, he called me darling. He’s never done that before and that makes me pretty darn happy. 

The drive home felt much quicker than normal and I managed to get everything inside with time to spare. It was a bit warm today so I changed into jean shorts, grey short sleeved shirt, and a rust colored cardigan. When I told Aaron what cafe we were meeting up at, he mentioned how that was one that he and his team would frequent for lunch. They would also apparently send someone out before their flights take off to grab a series of snacks and sandwiches for the plane ride so they could have the comfort of home despite where their flight took them. I thought that was pretty sweet that they tried so hard to keep a sense of normal in their abnormal lives. 

Lindsey was there already with a table held by the time I pulled into the parking lot. Mavery was sleeping in her car seat and her toddler Myatt was coloring on the paper menu. “Hii! Sorry, I know I’m a bit late.” I said as I gave her a quick side hug and then sat down next to her. The cafe was newly redecorated in light wooden tones with bright shiplap walls and lots of pastel flowers and thick greenery. The original owners sold it and the much younger new owners wanted to revamp the space in hopes of drawing in more customers.

“Oh please, you are right on time. These squirrels were becoming impatient so we left early. I ordered you a drink, it should be here any minute.” She said with a wave of her hand before helping Myatt pick up the spilled crayons from the floor. I looked over the menu and settled on a pesto chicken parm sandwich with fries of course. After our drinks arrived and we placed our orders, Lindsey and I got to talking while I helped Myatt color in his photo. We went on to gossip about our students and the other teachers for a bit. Myatt’s food came out first, so his mom started cutting up his food for him and Mavery woke up crying for her food. I unbuckled her from her carseat and placed her on my lap facing sideways. 

Lindsey handed me her small jar of pureed apples with a ‘thank you’ and a small spoon. I opened the jar and dipped the spoon into the liquid so she could get a taste of it. She only started eating baby food recently so I didn’t want to overwhelm her. Her mouth smacked together happily and the little noises made me smile big. She is quite a character when it comes to food, and her animated features just make her seem like a living cartoon character. When mine and Lindsey’s food came out, she offered to take Mavery so I could eat but I waved her off and said that she didn’t need to do that. I wanted her to have a break and be able to eat her food while it was still hot. 

As Mavery smacked her hands together in a clumsy clap while she gummed on the apples I looked up and saw a big black SUV pull into the parking lot. For a moment I smiled to myself and thought about Aaron being the one driving that car. 

To my surprise, he was the exact person who left the driver’s seat in jeans and a college shirt, and opened the back seat door to let Jack jump out of the car. The shocked gasp that left my lips caught Lindsey’s reaction and with a piece of lettuce hanging out of her mouth she asked “What?” and followed my gaze to the parking lot. “Him? Do you know him?” She asked as she wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin. 

“Uh yeah, sorry. That’s just one of my students and their Dad. I have always thought about how weird it would be to see my students in public and this is the first time it’s happened.” I said with a light laugh and turned my attention back to Mavery. I was sitting so that the main entrance was in front of me, so if Aaron came in looking for a table, then he would be able to see me clearly. The first set of doors opened up and Jack quickly raced to open the second set of doors for his Dad. I picked the spoon up from the apple jar and continued to feed Mavery a couple more small bites and dabbed the corner of her mouth with the napkin. I felt eyes on me so I glanced up slightly to see Aaron staring at me with a small smile on his face, his dimples slightly showing. I returned the smile and he continued to stare at me with joy, but also a hint of something else I couldn’t make out because his attention was shifted away due to Jack pulling on his arm.

They walked to the other side of the Cafe and waited for their waitress to come by. “Is he a good student of yours or is he a little you-know-what.” Lindsey asked as she ate the last of her sandwich. I smiled and shook my head, “If I had to be a bit biased, I would say that he’s the best student I’ve had all year. Couldn’t say enough good things about that kid.” 

Lindsey pushed her plate to the side and said that she would take Mavery so I could eat my food. I lifted her up high and she started giggling really loud. Bringing her back down to my face, she placed her hands on my face and babbled a bit before I lifted her back up in the air again and made loud kissy noises so she would laugh more. She jammed a hand into her mouth and laughed around it, I scrunched up my nose and spoke in a baby voice, “Whatcha got in your mouth Mavery? You got your hand? Ohhhhh, that looks like a yummy hand. Come here pretty girl!” I brought her down one last time and gave her a kiss on her forehead. 

Mavery kept babbling as I handed her over and Lindsey kept talking to her. Myatt and I got deep into conversation about race cars and Lightning McQueen while I ate my sandwich and fries. Every so often I would look behind him to catch a glimpse of Aaron and Jack now chowing down on their food before returning to my table. We sat for a bit longer after I finished eating to just enjoy the company, but I knew that the kids would dictate soon enough that it was time for this party to be over. The waitress came over with our bills and Lindsey handed Mavery back over to me so she could take Myatt to the bathroom one last time. Once she left, I noticed Jack and Aaron were making their way over to me. 

Jack got excited once he saw me lock eyes with him and he quickly dodged between tables to reach me. A huge smile was planted on his face and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

“Hi Ms. Y/N!” He said as he gave me a side hug. I slipped my arm around his back and gave him a hug back. 

“Hi Jack! Did you enjoy your lunch?” I asked and he nodded enthusiastically. He went into great detail on what he got for lunch and how this is one of the best Cafes he’s been to. Aaron finally made it to the table at this point and greeted me. He rested his hands on the back of the chair Myatt had been sitting in previously. 

“Ms. Y/N I didn’t know you had a baby.” Jack said and that caught me off guard completely. I coughed a couple times from choking on some spit and I shook my head, “Oh uh, no Jack. Ms. Y/N did not have a baby. Maybe one day she will have one though.” Aaron said adamantly and gave me a pointed look.

His lips formed a smirk and I mimicked it before turning to Jack, “This is another teacher’s baby. Would you like to say hi to Mavery though?”  He said ‘hi’ and waved to her and I grabbed her little balled up fist and waved it to say hi. “Are you excited to be going to camp this week? You’ve been talking about it in class a lot.” 

He blushed at that a bit, “Yes I am! Dad and I wanted to get lunch before he dropped me off. It’s going to be sooo much fun.” His smile matched his father’s to a t. He leaned more into me when talking so I wrapped my arm closer around him as he whispered to me, “Can I share about camp during Circle Time next week? I really want to tell everyone how it went.” He fidgeted with his fingers while he waited for my response. 

I hummed a bit before saying, “I have an even better idea. Why don’t we have everyone make a poster explaining what they did on Fall break. I think the majority of our class had something planned.” His mouth dropped open a bit and he bounced up and down in excitement. 

“That means we get to do a really big show and tell and then, and then I can hear what Zach did. I forgot to get his mom’s number so we could hang out over break so now I have to wait for class to start again.” Jack rambled on excitingly and I couldn’t help but nod along and hang onto every word he said. Lindsey and Myatt came back to our little group and Lindsey introduced herself to Aaron. Jack briefly talked to Myatt about the coloring page that Myatt had colored in while waiting for food earlier, and Mavery kept herself occupied by chewing on my clean fingers. 

“Uh Jack buddy, we have to get going in just a minute so we aren’t late. Say your goodbyes.” Aaron said carefully to Jack and he took that as his que to wrap up his conversation with Myatt. 

I looked up to Aaron and his eyes darted between me and Mavery before he smiled warmly and softly said, “It was good seeing you again Ms. Y/N. Have a good afternoon.” Jack gave me one last hug before departing with his dad. Lindsey took Mavery from me and buckled her into her carseat before leaning across the table to me. 

“He’s not that bad looking. A bit older, but still a solid man.” I rolled my eyes at her jokingly, “And,” she continued, “did you see that he didn’t have a ring on?!” This time I hit her forearm lightly and urged her to quit it. We said our final goodbyes in the parking lot and I made my lonely drive back home. After I fed Murphy an early dinner I got to work on laundry and sorting through bills so that I wouldn’t have to worry about that while Aaron was here. 

My phone buzzed in my back pocket and unsurprisingly it was Aaron asking for my dinner order from whatever sounded good. I shot back my Chinese takeout and headed up to my room to make sure that it and the bathroom were cleaned and organized. I lit the giant sandalwood candle on my bedside table and moved a couple things around so the flame had nothing to catch fire on. Aaron should be at my place in the next twenty minutes, so I just took my time watching a TV show waiting for the doorbell to ring. 

When the doorbell finally did ring I raced Murphy to the door and swung it open wide to see a beaming Aaron holding his overnight bag in one hand and food in the other, “You know,” I started as I opened the door, “it seems like everytime you come over you have food with you. I think that is one thing I can always count on now.” He chuckled as he removed his shoes and I took the Chinese bag from him. 

“Well, I’m glad that I can be useful for one thing at least.” He joked as he pulled me in by the waist and gave me a kiss on the cheek. There was a playful glint in his eyes, something I haven’t seen before. He almost looked ten years younger with that look and I wanted to keep that look on his face for as long as possible. He seemed relaxed and calm. 

“Ohh, I can probably figure out at least two more ways for you to be useful.” I patted his chest with my hand twice as I walked to the kitchen island. Aaron took the food out while I grabbed two glasses and filled them with ice water. I sat down sideways on the barstool so I could face Aaron face on and he turned a bit so his left knee knocked into mine. We started eating pretty quickly and fell into easy conversation of how our breaks have been. His was pretty quiet and mundane, which for Aaron is something he wants, but he felt out of place with not having much to do. 

I suggested that he find a hobby he can stop and start whenever  or TV show he can binge watch when he has enough downtime to help combat that restlessness. That of course led into a whole discussion of what shows and movies are more superior and even if he did have enough time for a hobby, what would he even be interested in doing. “Well, what about collecting things? You go to so many states, maybe you could bring back something like a postcard from them?” I suggested. 

He immediately shook his head, “Nuh uh. That would be way too similar in my head to serial killers keeping trophies. Wouldn’t want to mimic that too much incase I bring back more than just a postcard.” He said quickly as his eyes avoided mine. I knew what he meant. He didn’t want to look at the postcards and be reminded of the people he either saved or didn’t. 

I sucked in a quick breath, “Okay, no postcards then. Got it. Uhh, let's run down the list of usual collectors things. You’ve got stamps, rocks, art pieces, figurines, coins..”

“Coins!” His eyes shot up to mine again and a light look took over his face. 

“Coins?” I reciprocated with raised eyebrows. That didn’t take long to find a possibility. 

He sat his fork down momentarily, “Yes, coins. When I was younger I was getting into collecting them and I became obsessive over finding a rare 1944 coin that was worth thousands of dollars. Never found it and started growing out of it I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a small smile. 

“Huh.” 

“What?” He asked sheepishly and fidgeted in his seat a bit.

“Nothing, I just wouldn’t have thought you to be a coin guy. If I had to pick a collectors item for you I would have said something like model planes or cars.” I shrugged and turned back down to stab my fork into the chinese food once more. 

“What about you? Did you collect anything as a kid?” Aaron asked as his knee knocked into  mine a bit. He took a long drink of water and grabbed another crab rangoon. 

“Yes, actually I did. It’s a bit nerdy, but it makes sense for me. You know, grandparents owning a ranch, being around horses all my life, riding at rodeos…” I led on and he caught what I was saying. 

“Horse models?” 

“Ohh yeah. I would convince my Dad to buy them and my Grandpa to build the shelves for my room. For a time I wanted to get rid of them, until I learned how valuable the collection was. Truly I think that my mother just wants to keep them for any grandkids she may have.” I said with a small smile on my face. It was a happy memory to have of my Dad, him adamantly saying that he wouldn’t buy me any more, but anytime we went into the tractor supply store I would refuse to leave until I had a new horse. Eventually he tried to go to the store without me, but when I would stand pouting with my arms crossed in front of his truck, he had to give in. 

We finished dinner and moved to the couch upstairs. I put on some background TV but we mainly just sat there talking. Wrapped up in each other’s arms. He extended his legs to stretch out onto the ottoman, and I laid perpendicular to him so that our bodies made an L shape. My head and hair was splayed out onto his lap and every so often he would run his palm over my hair. I tried keeping a neutral look on my face, but my inner thoughts were eating at me. 

I really want to know about his wife. I know it's personal and he probably doesn’t want to talk about it, but I’m nosey. As much as Aaron tries to maintain a calm exterior, there have been moments where he has slipped up. Just tonight even he broke a little. We were starting to walk up the stairs, with me in front, and there was a loud bang from outside. I wasn’t too phased by it, figuring my neighbors dropped something, or something broke, but Aaron’s spooked look in his eyes told me he was phased by it. He whipped his body around to look behind him on the stairs. He startled me by barking out a “Stay here” before slinking back down the steps and out to the main floor. 

I heard doors opening, shutting, and locks locking. I swore I heard the dull clicking of the window locks before a deep sigh sounded out. Aaron gave a tight smile and said that it was nothing and urged me to go upstairs. 

“Something is weighing on your mind.”  Aaron observed, and I blinked a couple of times to clear my head. 

Releasing my lip from my teeth I meekly looked up, “Sorry, just kept thinking about something.” 

“What is it?” He asked as his fingers gently traced my cheek. I closed my eyes briefly and gathered my two seconds of courage. 

“I was just thinking about earlier, when you went to check the house. Is that something you normally do because of your job or is there another reason?” I whispered out and for a moment I thought he didn’t hear me. That is until his hand paused heavily on my hairline. 

“It..it has to deal a lot with work. There was a time when my work carried over to my home life and it still affects me.” He spoke out with a faraway glance in his eyes. 

I pushed my luck even further and asked the big question, “Was it related to your wife?” 

His eyes closed and he took a long breath in, “Yes.” 

A thick sour taste was in my mouth now and I became a bit afraid to ask for more context, but I headed into this wanting to know so there was no going back now. I reached behind me and grabbed his hand, “May I ask what happened?” 

His hand clenched under mine and his head turned to the side, the tension in the air becoming thick, “I can share my story first if it helps any.” I offered up and he nodded, still not looking at me. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking, “Technically speaking, the whole thing was ruled as an accident, however it was natural once you break it down.” 

“We were heading out to my Grandparents for the weekend and Mom went a couple hours ahead with Lucas while Dad and I stayed behind to finish a couple errands. There’s many things I don’t remember so some of this story is my personal recollection and the rest is what I’ve been told over the years. I remember sitting behind my dad with my stuffed dog. We were actually almost to the house according to my Mom when all of a sudden the car started spinning and then I blacked out from the impact. 

“My father had a spontaneous brain aneurysm burst and it killed him immediately, which is where natural death comes in. When he passed, the car spun and it threw us off of the road. When I finally woke up, I was hanging out of the window facing the ground. The car was pinned against a tree and I couldn’t move. By the time the ambulance got to us, I wasn’t really alert. 

“What I was told was that I was in an upside down V position with my lower chest hanging over the bent metal of the door frame. According to the doctors, I would have bled out if it hadn’t been for my stuffed dog wedged between me and the bent metal. It didn’t stop it from cutting into me completely, but it stopped it enough so I could hang on for a few hours. I spent 18 months in the hospital recovering from surgeries to my chest and abdomen, reconstructing my ankle, and repairing my femur. They had to keep me in a coma for a couple months and the doctors weren’t sure I was going to pull out of it. 

“Once I did get out of the hospital I went right into physical therapy and my Grandfather managed to befriend a couple of college students who were doing equine therapy. I wanted to be back on a horse so bad so once the doctor cleared me, I started my therapy on horses. That lasted at least a couple of years. I had my mobility back, but my Mom still wanted me enrolled just in case I needed a bit longer. It took a huge toll on my family though. My Mom lost her husband and bestfriend, Lucas and I lost our Dad, and my Grandparents lost their bonus son. We really weren’t a family for awhile, my Mom was hyper focused on me for a long time so my Grandparents were raising Lucas. Even though Mom was by my side for everything, I could sense that she wasn’t really with me though mentally once the day was coming to an end. She didn’t sleep much and I could hear her cry throughout the night. It changed all of us, sometimes it was a good change, but for a long time it was just a bad change.” Finishing up the more abbreviated version of my story I looked back up to Aaron to find him finally looking back at me. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

His lips were turned down into a frown and his dark eyes looked even darker somehow, “I’m sorry.” He whispered out and I looked at him puzzled.

“For what?” I asked and he smoothed my hair out once more. 

“That all of that happened to you. It's one thing to lose a parent that young, but it's another to be heavily involved in it like you were. Do you still deal with any physical trauma from it? I know it was a long time ago, but are you okay?” He asked worriedly and a warm feeling spread across my chest. 

“Just a couple of scars. Some of them healed over time, others I got surgically lightened, but I left the rest as a reminder to what happened. It is a part of me that I can move on from, but can’t remove from my life. As sad as it was, I don’t want to forget what happened.” I shifted myself up so I can now sit on my feet next to Aaron and he slipped an arm around me to pull me in close. 

I laid my head on his shoulder softly and played with the hem of my shirt. 

“My job killed my wife.” Aaron said after a minute of silence and I froze up at the statement he just made. He continued talking, “There was a mad man, a monster, that wanted revenge and he chose my family. Even after placing them in witness protection he still found them and he shot her. I found him and I..” He paused and I lifted my head up to look at him. Aaron was staring ahead with another faraway look in his eyes so I placed my hand on his cheek. He startled a bit at my touch and I peered into his eyes, understanding what he was trying to get at. 

“You did what you had to do.” I said in a firm voice. 

He pulled me over to sit on his lap and he buried his head into my shoulder. It took a moment before I wrapped my arms around him and ran one set of fingers through his hair. A sudden sob halted me though and my heart clenched at the sound. “Let it all out honey.” I cooed softly in his ear and his grip became tighter on me. I had to hold back from wincing and pulling out from his embrace.

We sat there for a couple of minutes as he cried into my shoulder, his tears soaking my shirt. “I miss her so much. She was the first woman I ever loved and she was the mother of my child.” 

I pressed my lips into his hair, “I’m so sorry Aaron. I’m so sorry that you were put through that. I’m sorry that she was taken from you and Jack.” He nodded against my shoulder and he stayed quiet. 

I went to shift myself backwards but Aaron pulled me back to my original spot, “Please stay” He whispered. He went on to speak softly about how he hasn’t been able to really mourn since he has to be strong for Jack and continue with his job. He turned his head so that his ear was smooshed up against my breast, I’m confident he could hear my heart beating loudly in his ear though. 

“Thank you for sharing about her though. I hope I didn’t push you to say something too soon.” I said and he lifted his head back up to me.

“No, you didn’t. Thank you for getting me to share. I needed to get it off my chest.” He reached up and kissed my cheek. He pulled back and asked with brows furrowed, “Do you know how great you are?” I smiled and scrunched up my nose at him. My head shook slightly side to side and his lips turned upwards, “Well then,” He quietly started, “let me show you.” 

His hands grabbed my cheek and the back of my neck to pull my face to his and his lips bruised themselves against mine in a firm kiss. A numb feeling was spreading itself over my brain, making it go hazy until he released the hand on my cheek and pressed it against my back. Before I could hold it in I let out a yelp in pain and before I could process what happened, Aaron had yanked backwards and let go of my back.

“What’s wrong?” He yelled out in shock, his eyebrows immediately furrowing together. My hands reached around my backside to apply the smallest amount of pressure to stabilize myself. Aaron’s focused eyes followed my movements and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. 

I pushed myself up and off of Aaron before he could lift my shirt up, taking a couple steps back to create some space. “It’s not your fault, I promise I’m okay.” I tried soothing him but it didn't appear to do anything. His mouth was silent but his body wasn’t. Any person would be able to tell that he didn’t believe a word I said as he sat there rigid and on edge. 

“Let me see.” He said in a low tone.

“No, it’s okay Aaron. It’s nothing really, it was just an accident.” I said in hopes that he would just drop the conversation. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of what happened, just more so embarrassed. 

He rolled his eyes and stood up, taking a giant step forward so that he was towering over me. “I said,” He grabbed the bottom of my shirt again, “let me see.” 

My shirt was pulled up several inches until it bunched up under my bra. The breath that left Aaron’s lips told me that he saw the deep purple bruises that blossomed over my back. At first I didn’t want to look up into his eyes, afraid of him seeing the embarrassed blush that creeped over my cheeks. 

“Who did this?” He rasped out in a gruff tone. When I didn’t answer him right away two fingers hooked under my chin to force my gaze upon him. His eyes were dark and hard, a long way from the playful glint at dinner. I suddenly wished to myself that we were back at dinner again, almost scared of his reaction to my bruises. 

I brought myself back to the moment and a quiet, “It was no one..” started to slip past my lips but I couldn’t finish as Aaron cut me off. 

“I promise you, Y/N, I will deal with whoever did this to you. Just, please tell me their name, darling.” His voice kept its gruff tone until it became pleading at the end. My lips pursed together and I shook my head slightly.

“It was no one Aaron, it was an animal. A horse. I..I was thrown off yesterday.” I explained quickly and he still didn’t look convinced so I reached into my back pocket, “Here! I’ll prove it to you. There was a video taken.” 

I held the phone out for Aaron to watch. My mom was filming on my phone so that we could keep a record of how far Dipshit has come since the beginning. Lewis and Grandpa were standing next to her commenting on my form and how it looks from their perspective. In the video Dip and I were trotting around in large circles and I got a bit cocky and urged him into a faster gait. 

Dip didn’t like that and threw his head downwards so that he could start bucking his back legs into the air. I held my own for the first several bucks and tried my hardest to pull his head back up so that he couldn’t continue bucking. That ended up not working and soon I found myself debating if I should get off or not or if I should ride my way through this. 

Lewis and Grandpa were giving conflicting shouts of what to do. Mom’s voice could be heard somewhere on the video between the both of them, telling me to ‘just hang on’ and that ‘you’ve got this’. That didn’t last long as Dip reared up and when he came back down, I was flung over the front of him, landing on my stomach. The air was knocked out of my lungs from the impact and whatever air had started seeping back in was pushed back out as Dip trampled over me. 

Mom’s horrified gasp was accompanied by a lot of ‘Oh shit, fuck’ s from Lewis and Grandpa. Lewis had ducked between the fence and started sprinting to me as did Mom while Grandpa went after Dipshit. Lewis had turned me over onto my back so that my airway wasn’t blocked. He started running his hands over my shirt to check for any blood or broken or swollen joints. The raspy inhale of air sounded over the camera that Mom was still holding. I don’t think she knew she was still recording at this point. 

“Oh honey! Honey, you’re going to be okay. Lewis help her.” She shrieked out and Lewis knelt down next to me, taking my face in his hands. 

“Y/N, breathe. I need you to calm down and get air back in you.” Lewis said as he lightly tapped my cheek. My eyes were wild in the video and my arms were flailing around, knocking into Lewis’ legs. After a couple more breaths I managed to get my breathing under control and I coughed to get the tight feeling out of my throat. 

Mom must have noticed that the camera was still recording so she fumbled around for a couple seconds before figuring out how to stop the video feed. 

Aaron took a ragged breath in and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking back down at me. “Are you okay? Did you get checked out?” He said in a hard but quiet voice. 

I placed a small smile on my face to tell him that I was okay, “Yes, I’m okay. Incredibly sore, but I’m okay. Mom took me to the hospital, nothing was broken, just really bruised.” He leaned his forehead down onto mine and took another deep breath in. I closed my eyes and relished the moment with him. His hands dropped from my back, the shirt following too and replaced themselves on both sides of my cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered and kissed my forehead, “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’m glad you are safe now. It’s been a full night for both of us now.” I wrapped my arms around his side and pulled him closer to me.

“Want to go shower? Maybe cool down a bit?” I suggested and he hummed in response. We pulled away and made our way into the bedroom. 

I turned the water on hot in the shower so that the bathroom could start steaming up. Aaron sat on the bed, looking into the bathroom as I moved around and grabbed a second set of towels for him. I grabbed my makeup remover and wiped off as much as I could before I released my hair from its hold and scratched my scalp to ease the roots of my hair. 

I could feel Aaron’s eyes on me as I started to discard my clothes, one-by-one and put them into the laundry hamper. First was my shirt, putting my bruises on display, along with the rest of my scars from my accident. Next was pulling my pants down, leaving me in just my bra and underwear. I slowly slid my pants down my legs and stepped out of them, tossing them into the hamper. I glanced over to Aaron and he was intently watching me, with firm dark eyes. I inwardly smirked to myself and slipped my arms out from the bra straps. 

My heartbeat was rapid in my chest, mentally preparing myself to remove one of my last pieces of dignity. I peeled the cups of my bra down and gently laid it on top of the rest of the clothes. I turned towards the shower, my backside fully showing to Aaron, and opened the shower door to turn the water on to hot. As I stood there waiting I took a deep breath and reached my arms above my head to stretch. My hair fell backwards as I arched my back and pushed my chest up to the ceiling. Bringing my arms back down I let out my deep breath and tested the water temperature with my hand, making sure it was warm enough for me to step into. 

Stepping in, I was enveloped in the hot water. At least it matched how I was feeling on the inside. My eyes peered through the open shower door to see Aaron sitting on the bed still. He was hunched over with his elbows on his knees, his hands somewhat clenched together. It looked like he was struggling to stay composed, and the small chewing on his bottom lip only confirmed that for me. We bore into each other’s eyes for a beat before I soothed out, “Come join me.”

#aaron hotch x reader #Criminal Minds #teacher #thomas gibson #love #jack hotchner #fbi

[paynnincorporated]

Ask meme: 5, 6, 7 :)

Hehe. Some of these answers won't surprise you in the least lmao. Long long answers ahead if anyone cares to read X3

5. Least favourite moment and why

I have several, but I think they can all be summarised as "lost character potential moments". I think my least favourite moment is Kitt's treatment in Slithercorp (and overall). She's quite literally set up to fail against Artha, and is made to accept it in this very episode :') Kitt deserved better, and after scrapping the love interest route the writers were definitely fumbling to do anything with her. Runner ups to this are: Pyrrah's track record lol. Supposedly the leader of the crew with the cleanest record yet she hastily scraps her integrity for power/greed. Other one is Word mag clawing Moordryd, his verbal abuse and general uncaring of throwing Moord into dangerous scenarios (Really? Sending him without protection into the shadow track after talking about your beloved dead wife???). It irks me that the direction the series was going was that Moord and his dad might reconcile with Armeggadon's arrival, but the way his character is made to be so plainly vile to Moord is so frustrating. (Lol I was a Word Paynn Hater until fairly recently, if you would believe it X3) 6. Do you ship any pairings?

Psft. My whole blog is largely dedicated to Word/Zulay, because it's ripe with storytelling possibility! Partners in crime, till death do they part, leaving the one left behind with survivor's guilt that he channels into unhealthy obsession to succeed in her memory???? Ooft. Plus, I get to have fun with fleshing out life in all levels of Dragon City. It kills me when I think of Word meeting Zulay in his lowest moments (poor and struggling after his exile) and her helping him out. Then they build a whole tower from bottom up together only for her to die before their family even starts. It's almost tragically poetic.

I very rarely ship anything seriously, but I was moved and inspired enough by these two evil lovebirds to make an entire 2 minute long animatic of them to Clair De Lune. So yeah. Beautiful but terrible tragedy is how I love describing them. Other pairings I ship... I'm not too big on any tbh! Possibly Cain/Moordryd, Artha/Moordryd, Parm/Artha? Connor/Word is another fascinating one, I'd love to see someone write an au where they're still besties and are BAMFs in stopping Meggy. Otherwise, toxic exes is fun too! It's fun because there's a lot of potential writing about how the Priesthood really affected them both (A cult like community training and indoctrinating children about war?? Oof.)

7. How'd you get into DB?

I watched it on Astro Ceria as a 6 or 7 year old, and it got me to draw my first ever fanart comic in a notebook. This led to me picking up drawing! I don't have anything from that time, but the character/shape designs (All largely Peter Detina's hard work!) were extremely influential to my style.

#ask meme #asks #dragon booster #dragon booster meme

[bekindtoyou4007]

One day off and I feel so much better already! Slept badly for about 8.5 hours, interrupted a lot, but then woke up and got some relieving news. Then I had coffee in bed and H and I went out for a pub lunch and came home to a toasty house, played Vidja for a few hours. Then H wanted to watch a wholesome animated film and I made us chicken parm for dinner. I had enough time to sort out my nails too. I think next week I might remove the polish altogether. It's amazing what a day off has done for my mental health. I will gym tomorrow, I think I have some new lower body things to try! I feel like I have hope again. I was sitting around in floods of tears so often early this week thinking 'I can't do another day of this in a row' and now I don't have to it makes a massive difference. Breaks are needed to heal the mind.

Musings: it might be my bio father is so ill he's permanently on a feeding tube which is a sign he's getting nearer to the end. Although he's been getting worse for such a long time now it's sort of not unusual for him to keep going against all odds. It makes me sad to think about his death though I know logically it will come as it will for all of us. I keep having this knee jerk urge to be with him, then he does something like text me about mis selling compensation claims and I feel glad for the distance... I think you can love someone and still find being around them incredibly difficult and in my case triggering re. Previous violence and abuse. I don't think I can trust my father to bear the challenge he is facing now of death with any of the humility or bravery that he never had before. He will go down calling everyone around him who is helping him a bastard.

#daily #08.02.2024 #rest #burn out

[sadiegauthierrp]

Location: Blooming Trails Status: Closed for @misguidedsilhouettes

There was no pleasant way to put it, Sadie and Aylin had put together three funeral arrangements this week and had countless orders for condolence bouquets. Great for the revenue of business, but left an icky aftertaste on the spirit. Which was way she'd been checking in with the younger woman frequently. "Did you take your lunch break yet?" she queried as she peaked around the corner where the florist was putting the final touches on the one non death related order they'd gotten today. "Mrs. Hughes is going to be thrilled with that anniversary bouquet, Aylin. You did an absolutely beautiful job." After a beat and knowing full well that the girl had not gone on her lunch break yet, Sadie inclined her head towards her office. "Come on. Come have lunch with me, I brought extra chicken parm." And it hadn't been an accident since the day Aylin started that Sadie always just so happened to have extra lunch she simply had to have help finishing.

#gc;misguidedsilhouettes001

[rogueshadeaux]

Chapter Five - yəl̕yəlab

The humor didn’t last long; Dad’s face overcasted like a storm on the sea, shadows of pain and guilt and regret. “I…it was to protect you two. All of us.” Standing abruptly, he closed the container his untouched food was in, saying, “Not here. Come on, I want to take you two somewhere.” 

6.9k words | 23 min read time | TRIGGER WARNINGS: Death mentions,

AUTHOR NOTE: yəl̕yəlab - ancestors. Lushootseed.

Easier said than done. 

 Theresa warned me that the cops were pulling kids in for ‘inquiries’ at the Admin office, questioning anyone they could about anything they knew about Brent and I. They were probably doing the same at COLE, too. And really, how hard would it be to track a phone? Brent’s phone was already fucked, the screen cracked and refusing to turn on, but just in case, I yanked it from the wall of the small room, walking back outside and chucking both our phones as far into the Puget Sound as I could get them to soar. Mine skid against a sheet of ice before falling into the water, Brent’s immediately diving in as if it was waiting for this moment the whole time. 

 “I hope you ran that by your father first,” Betty said behind me. 

 I spun in place like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “Oh, ma’am, I didn’t—“ 

 “Please,” she scoffed, sitting at one of the hand carved benches painted blue. “Call me Betty. I don’t care how old I look, I’m too young for ma’am.” 

 She looked at me expectantly, patting the spot beside her when I didn’t move. As I walked over, she said, “I can’t believe how big you are. You had just learned to say my name before you all had to go. Of course, you couldn’t use your t’s correctly, so it came out more like Bebby.” She chuckled, watching me sit. “It was so sweet.” 

 But that…that can’t have been. We've only ever visited Seattle, and even then, only twice. I'd never been here, at this reservation, in my life...I’d never met her before now. I think. 

 She picked up on my confusion, her wrinkled and liver spotted hand laying on my thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you alright, Regina?” 

 I scoffed. Of course I wasn’t alright. “Everything’s so different now, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen,” I admitted, “I’m….” Scared. Though I couldn’t admit it out loud.

 She hummed. “You know, I was there when your father got his powers. Or, no, his first one. Whichever it is.” She pointed at a cliff across the bay. “I was in a warehouse right over there, when he saved me. And I was in the Longhouse when he saved me again.” 

 “He saved your life twice?” 

 “Yep.” She nodded. “After that monster put concrete in my legs. She had killed quite a few of us. And to think, it was all a big political stunt.” Brooke Augustine. She must have been talking about her. “Your father decided to go to Seattle and gain her power, to help his tribe.” 

 Betty turned to face me. “And you, your brother, you both have that same choice.”

 “Wh—what do you mean?” I stuttered. “Are your people in trouble?” 

 “Our people,” she corrected. “You’re just as Akomish as the rest of us. But no dear. I mean, now that you have a choice, what will you choose? To be the helper? Or to hide?” 

 This felt very ‘Uncle Ben’ like. I’d barely been a Conduit for 17 hours and was already getting preached to about responsibility. I didn’t want the power or the responsibility. “I want to pretend like this isn’t happening.”

 “And why is that?” 

 “Because—“ I faltered in my frustration. “I’m — he lied! Dad lied to us about everything, and I’m not even sure what’s going on still, and he just runs off like this is some movie and he’s gotta go save the day when we’re…” I hung my head. “I don’t know what’s happening anymore. What’s real and what’s not.”

 “Well, he loves you. I know you know that’s real.” Betty sat back on the bench, relaxing. “And I know he’s been trying to protect you two for 16 years, now.” 

 “Protect us from what, though?” I interjected. “My Dad isn’t some big revolutionist! He can barely make chicken parm. He’s the guy who secretly loves to watch Telenovelas with English captions a-and makes me paint Brent’s number on his cheek when he gets to go to games. He’s not Delsin Rowe.”

 She hummed again. That’s all she seemed to do was hum, like it was how she processed words. “I became Delsin’s foster mother when he was your age. A little bit younger, actually — he had just turned 17.” She looked off to the horizon, cool steam lifting from the Sound and threatening to settle on it, freeze it over. “His mother and father were on the east coast when the — when Empire City happened. They caught the Ray Field Plague and…” she sighed. No need to elaborate on what happened to people who had that radiation poisoning. “He became mine when the state came for him. Tribe gets first choice when an Indian goes into foster care, after all. 

 “Then those Conduits broke out, and…your father had smoke coming out of his hands.” She shook her head, somehow finding enough humor in the situation to laugh. “And you know what? He didn’t get time to play around with his powers, either. But you know what the difference is between his situation, and yours?” 

 “What?” 

 “You have him.” She gave my thigh another soft squeeze. “He’s going to be there every step of the way, helping you two, teaching you, protecting you. Things will make sense in time,” 

 Yeah, this was definitely the weird pep-talk-from-loving-elder part of the hero's journey. Bit awkward coming from someone I didn’t really know. 

 But she had a point. Dad was a thousand things; dorky, passionate, loyal. But he wasn’t someone who’d lie without reason. We grew up not knowing who Santa Claus was cause he couldn’t bear the thought of lying to Brent and me about it.

 Patting my thigh gently, she stood, making that groaning noise every old person does when they’re forced to use their knees. “Well, it’s too early to worry about anything besides breakfast! Come, Regina, you can help me make French toast.” 

 Brent seemed to rise to the smell before I fully closed the door of our enclosure. “Food?” He grumbled, voice thick with exhaustion.

 “Me bring food, yes.” I joked in a monotone and forced-deep voice. Closing the door with my foot, I walked over to Brent as he sat up, laying the plate of powdered French toast in his lap. “Helped Betty make it.” 

 “You got up early,” Brent remarked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. 

 I could only shake my head. “I didn’t go to sleep.” I took the space on the couch before he could decide to abandon the food and sleep in, cutting into my toast. But I felt his eyes on me, and sighed, asking, “What, Brent?” 

 “Nothing, it’s just—“ He shrugged beside me, his food untouched. “What’re we gonna do?” 

 “Right now, or in the future?” 

 “Is there a difference?” 

 Setting down my fork, I looked over to him. Disheveled Brent was my favorite Brent; it looked like actual him and not some façade he was putting up to impress his friends. Downy hair all thrown about, no super straight posture or anything. He was always so concerned about fitting in that he always sorta…faded away. No one got to see him as the sibling I knew him as. “Well, the now is we eat. We didn’t have dinner last night, so we need it.” 

 “And in the future?” 

 “I—“ I sighed. “I have no idea. Can’t do much, till Dad comes back.” 

 Brent hummed, picking up his fork to poke indiscriminately at his food. “Do you think he’s okay?” 

 “Yeah,” I nodded, at least able to put more conviction in those words. Dad, if he…if this was true, and he was Delsin Rowe, he knew what he was doing. He knew how to protect himself, stay alive. I knew Betty was right; he was off trying to fix the mess I made for him, so he could come back and help us. And he’d be back. “Yeah, he’s fine. C’mon, eat.” 

 Silence hung for a while as we both picked at our food, giving in to the hunger that was being suppressed by all the action from the past few hours. Breakfast was scarfed down in no time, both of us muttering agreements to find some drink — and hopefully a few toothbrushes. Wonder if Betty would let us use her shower? 

 The Longhouse was some sort of community center, full of plaques and art and weaved blankets. The Akomish were a part of the Twana, this collective group of long-extinct tribes that once lived in this area according to the main informational plaque. They were one of the few to survive after everything the Americans did, and they took their job in reeducation very seriously. There were already a few people meandering about, staring curiously at Brent and I before shrugging and moving on. 

 Being a community center apparently meant it had to stay stocked, a few little kids already raiding the same fridge we were going to for snacks. They giggled, rushing off with their loot when they spotted Brent and I as if trying to protect it from being reclaimed. 

 “Wonder if Betty knows they’re here,” Brent reached into the fridge, grabbing two water bottles and passing me one. 

 “Please,” I snorted, opening mine, “If she’s anything like she gave away this morning, she encourages it.” 

 And that was true. Betty had this air of Doting Grandma, the lady who’s house you’d leave with a full stomach and some snuck candies in your pocket. As we made breakfast, she had shown me where all the good stuff was, chocolates and snacks and her recipe book I was allowed to use ‘so long as I included her.’ 

 We chugged the waters back, refilling them in the huge compartment sink and tipping back more before deciding we should visit the restrooms to make ourselves presentable. We left Portland with nothing but our school bags, which meant we were low on supplies. I had a spare sweater I kept around for when I inevitably got food on myself, but Brent was left wearing the blue and orange Akomish Rez souvenir shirt and dirty jeans. I wasn’t doing much better in my sticky ones. I hadn’t even gotten to rub the soda off of them before everything went down yesterday. 

 “Blegh, I need a toothbrush,” Brent immediately complained to me as he opened the Restroom door. “Think Betty has any?” 

 I shrugged, yawning. I’d been up for over 32 hours now, and definitely was beginning to feel it. “We can go ask her?” I strained through the elongated yawn, almost locking my jaw. 

 Brent just laughed. “How about I go talk to her, and you try to sleep? You look like shit,” 

 “Thanks, bro,” I rolled my eyes, “You’re so kind.” But honestly, sleep sounded absolutely amazing right now. My body was finally shutting down, with or without my brain’s consent. 

 “Go,” he laughed, “I’ll come get you if you sleep through dinner,” 

 I muttered some goodbyes, stumbling back to the room and taking the couch. I was passed out before I even fully settled down. 

 “Jean,” A hushed voice pleaded, “Jean, wake up.” 

 I peeled my face from the leather, wiping away the drool that dribbled down my cheek. God, was it already dinner time? I felt like I was barely asleep for more than an hour. 

 Brent was inches from my face, so close that my eyes crossed trying to focus in on him. I blinked a few times, rubbing my eyes and groaning, “What?” 

 “You’ve gotta wake up, we—“ he shot a look over his shoulder. “There’s a bunch of people from Homeland Security here, looking for Dad.” 

 Homeland security? I stretched, rubbing my eyes. “What? Is Dad here?” 

 “No, but they’re also asking about us.” 

 That got me moving. 

 I bolted upright, glancing with Brent to the opened room door. Us? Sure, maybe I could understand Dad, but what did they want us for? “Do they have a warrant?” 

 “It's the Feds, you think they give a shit about warrants?” Brent looked back at the door. “Besides, aren’t all reservations federal land? Do they even need one?” 

 I had no idea, and I didn’t like that I didn’t know. 

 I threw off my blanket, standing. Betty’s voice floated towards us, insisting, “I haven’t seen him since 2018! It’s been so long, I don’t even know if he’s alive,” 

 “He owned a residence here ‘till 2020,” a brash voice said. “Which he sold to you. And he was spotted in Portland after an altercation. We just need to investigate, we wish to speak to him and the two minors, if it’s possible.” 

 “Ugh, fine!” Her voice seemed louder, stressed. Like she was trying to make it travel on air. “You can start in my house just over here! Search all you want, there’s no one here.” 

 She was trying to divert them away so we could make a break for it. 

 I went to pull on Dad’s jacket, stopping midway. Brent’s jacket was bloodstained and with a bullet hole, he couldn’t wear that outside. “Put this on, pull the hood on,” I demanded, throwing him the jacket and moving to hover by the doorframe, listening. There was mild chatter in the Longhouse, gossip as people said Delsin? Isn’t he dead? and could they be talking about his kids? 

 Gossip was good at least, it meant there weren’t eavesdroppers. The Feds had to be on the other side of the Longhouse, now.

 Brent appeared beside me, flush against the wall with Dad’s jacket on now, hood pulled over the beanie the cotton Conduit gave him. “Where do we go?” He asked. 

 God, I didn’t even know where to start. I wasn’t familiar with this place at all! There were woods, but we could only get to them from the front of the Longhouse, and I bet there were people outside, too. Who’s to say they weren’t surrounding the place now? 

 I needed Dad. If he was here, he’d know what to do. Where to go and hide and, if they found us, what to say to them so we wouldn’t incriminate ourselves. If anyone asked me about what happened yesterday, I think I’d break down and weep about it all. Totally guilt-ridden. 

 But we couldn’t stay here, in the Longhouse. It was a sure fire way to get caught by those Federal Agents and be taken into some kind of custody. What if they used laws to take us from Dad? Our birthday was four weeks away, they could wait till we were adults too. It was too dangerous to stay. 

 “We should go to the back,” I said to Brent. It was farthest from Betty’s stairwell. “To that patio area.” 

 “You mean the area on a cliff, facing the fucking ocean?” Brent demanded, looking at me like I was an idiot. 

 “You got a better idea?” 

 He just rolled his eyes. “Fine, c’mon,” 

 I pulled my hat out of my back pocket and put it on, pulling lower over my head than usual. I could blend in easier, I looked Akomish; Brent, though, definitely had more of the White genes, he wasn’t gonna disappear easily for anything. 

 We started down the hall, trying our best to look casual and probably absolutely failing. There were a lot more people meandering about now, whispering among themselves as they gossiped about what was going on. 

 The side patio area was at least abandoned, the sky dull and gray and releasing fresh flurries everywhere. “Now what, genius?” Brent demanded, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He had a point; the Longhouse was on a jettisoned cliff side. There was no going around without heading to the front of the building. There was only a small lip of rock before it all fell off to the water below. We were trapped. 

 “I don’t—“ I cut off, cursing. What do we do? Chilling out out here was stupid, we couldn’t go back in. I walked up to the wooden railing that guarded the area from the cliffs, looking down at the waters. 

 The cliffedges weren’t straight, didn’t dive into the water like I thought; it had juts and lips, spaces in the rock that were perfect for climbing. And lucky for us, that was Dad’s favorite summer activity to take us on. 

 “We can climb,” I shot over my shoulder, already climbing over the wooden posts when Brent started his sounds of protest. 

 “Climb?” Brent shot over, looking over the edge. “What if we fall?” 

 “Dad said we have some kind of healing abilities, right?” I snorted. “You literally pushed a bullet out of your shoulder. We’ll be fine. Unless,” I motioned back. Two more unmarked vans were pulling into the parking lot of the Longhouse, people in suits and black trenchcoats storming out of them. “You wanna stay and talk to them.” 

 Brent groaned, looking back. “That’s a lot. Do you think they found something?” 

 “I’m not staying to find out.” 

 Brent looked back, between the wood fence and the black vans, making his choice with a simple bound over the wooden slats. 

 The first step of the climb is always the hardest; from there, you’ve just gotta find your next foothold. That’s what Dad always said. And it was especially true here, as Brent and I looked down at the rocky cliffside, the tide growing. Just had to take that first step. 

 Well, no, not step; there weren’t any steps here. We had to drop off the side, hang from the edge there and hope we didn’t plummet. Brent shadowed me, hanging on the side and looking for that foothold, that spot we could hang off of. I began to scoot along the lip, hands shuffling along the freezing cold rock, trying to get closer to the next bit of rock below, a perfect spot to lay my feet on. To jump down more, get close enough to shore. 

 This was a terrible idea; the rock was cold enough to hold on to the flurries of snow, and I discovered it was covering bits of ice as my fingertips pressed into the rock, my grip slipping. 

 I stifled a scream as well as I could, Brent not trying at all to silence his as he yelled, “Jean!”

 I swung, my back hitting the rocks as I clambered to steady myself on something. We weren’t that high, maybe 30 feet — but in that moment, I may as well have been in the stratosphere. I was so high. 

 The rough rock of the cliffside stabbed into my spine, and I cringed, gasping out. But I held on. With everything I could, I held on. “Are you okay?” Brent demanded. 

 “Y-yeah,” I huffed. “Yeah. There’s ice, be careful.” 

 Regaining composure, I managed to swing my body back around, brushing the snow off the rock and exposing the ice. It was scattered, just like in the water below, lying in wait to either melt or spread. 

 Finding a spot that was only cold rock, I resumed my scooting, making it to the foothold and settling, fingers barely touching the lip of the rock I was holding onto earlier, looking around for my next move.

 ‘Course, that was all thrown out the window when I heard Brent yelp behind me, and watched his hands slip on ice, then let go of the ledge. 

 I’d like to say I screamed. Tried to grab him, cried out, yelled NO! all loud or something. Really, though, I just watched. Watched my brother fall away from the cliff and down to the barely-wet dirt below, grappling at air as if it could save him. When people say tragedy happens in slow motion, they weren’t exaggerating; it was almost like I could see the panic flex every muscle individually in his face, watch his fingers curl slowly on nothing as they prepared to plummet into the ground. He fell farther and farther down, and I closed my eyes, waiting for some sickening splat. 

 But it never came. There was that squelch mud made when it was just a bit too wet, followed by silence until Brent went, “Huh.” 

 I opened my eyes and looked down — he was standing fine, knees apart and arms out like he had just landed a flip. Like he was worried about whether his feet would meet the ground, not that he had just freedived 30 feet. He looked down, around at the disturbed mud, and then up to me. “That…that didn’t hurt. Like, at all.” 

 To prove it, he stood straight, taking one step — and immediately slipped in the mud. 

 I snorted as he landed ass-first, all humor but also all relief. He was alive. He was okay enough to land ass first in the mud and immediately begin grumbling about how cold it was. He was okay. Brent was okay. 

 I shuffled down the cliffside as quick as I could as Brent stood back up, falling at wiping the gross mud off his pants. He stood straight hearing me land, making a weird guffaw sound as I slipped over to him and engulfed him in a hug. There’s been too many close calls. I was getting sick of it. 

 Brent hesitated a moment, eventually giving me a quick squeeze while saying, “C’mon, let’s get going,” 

 Nodding, I separated from him, following him as he lead the way down the slick and mucked shore. Being down here would do fuck-all for our hiding if we stayed in plain sight; we needed to get farther down the shoreline, away from the Longhouse and out of sight. 

 Easier said than done. It was a challenge to walk along the shore from how slick it was, and we weren’t at any good vantage points to climb up the cliffsides. We followed the curve of the cliffs, Brent in the lead and muttering, “Here, go here,” as he crouched slightly to fit under a rather large jettison of rock, the perfect coverage. I was able to follow him with no need to duck. 

 We stayed under that lip of stone, huddled close together and shivering in place as we waited. For what, exactly? Not like we’d know when the Feds would leave. But we couldn’t stay up there and wait. 

 Luckily, the alcove gave a bit of reprieve from the cold, at least shielding us from the snow and the wind it’d ride in on. We stayed there, huddled and unspeaking, for what felt like forever. 

 “Do you hear that?” Brent asked, teeth chattering. 

 “Hear what?” 

 But I listened out nonetheless, angling an ear towards the Puget Sound. Just the lapping of the rising high tide threatening to drown us, the wind — 

 And a beep. 

 It was steady, slow beeping, like a heart monitor on a patient going into arrest. But it grew in tempo slowly, it’s pace pulling in the sound of motors whirring away, like something was on the move. “What the hell is that?” I turned to Brent. He just shrugged. 

 The beeping grew louder, faster, zooming past for a moment and fading away before growing back just as fast. It seemed to do that quite more, the sound hovering back and forth like a close game of hot/cold until it seemed to lock on its target, its fast paced beeps staying. 

 A drone descended from the top lip of the rock, almost shaped like a dragonfly and glowing blue. It was all black, branded on the side with a white and blue eagle emblem, ‘HOMELAND SECURITY’ along its side in bold. The beeping, it was coming from that little thing, hollering louder as it floated at the entrance, invisible eyes trailed on us. It was looking for us. 

 And it won this round of hide and seek. 

 “What is — do we stop it?” Brent asked. 

 “How?” I demanded. Was it something the Feds were using to find us? If it had a camera, there was no use trying to run. It bobbed a bit closer, the blue hue radiating off of it so bright and blinding me, as well as its scream doing damage to my ears. It had to be something they were using to track us down. 

 I began to panic there; the guys, those Federal Agents, couldn’t have been far behind. “We need to leave,” I whispered, like the drone had ears. Might have, for all I knew. But the drone was blocking, quite literally, our only way out. 

 Suddenly, there was a shimmer in front of us in the air, a pixelated dagger appearing from nowhere and hurtling towards the drone, piercing it. The drone imploded on itself, motored wings breaking away from its body as it collapsed in the mud, beeping still. The blue, its core — that was what gave it energy. We had to kill that weird shiny battery. 

 I moved forward with the plan to simply chuck the bastard in the ocean and call it a day when the air…it was solid. Unmoving. Like there was some invisible wall. I stumbled back, mud squelching under me and making me slip, Brent only just catching me by the arms as the air I somehow ran into shimmered, iridescent, taking the form of a body before solidifying. 

 “Dad?” Brent asked, incredulous. 

 Dad ignored us, reaching his hand out to the drone, its blue pulsing and lifting like mist, rising to his open palm. It spun around his hand like the concrete did a day ago, sinking into his skin and blushing it teal for only a moment before the glow disappeared. The drone died off mid-beep, the sound tapering off like an orchestra that’s conductor randomly collapsed, finally falling silent. 

 Dad, still not acknowledging us, scooped up as many of the drones' remains as he could manage, standing straight and looking around at the bay of the Sound for something. Nodding, he suddenly zoomed away on wings made of glitches and pixels, dropping the drone guts on some spires of rock before flying back to us. 

 Wings. Actual fucking wings. “Dad, how did you—“ I started before he hushed me.

 He held out a hand in a silent beg for quiet, other hand holding a finger to his lips. Dad scanned the shore of the Sound, waiting anxiously. 

 Voices. That’s what he was warning us about — there were people, Feds, headed straight for us, probably following the scream of the drone. Their chatter was indistinguishable up until one exclaimed, “Son of a bitch!” 

 Another voice, chipper and feminine, began laughing. “Oh, that’s gonna come out of your paycheck,” she laughed. It sounded like they were above us. 

 “Fucking hate these drones, swear they never get it right,” the other voice, deep, complained. “Ran into a goddamn rock.” 

 “Well, maybe it had a visual on someone. We know the male youth was here, he left his jacket behind.” 

 Brent inhaled sharply behind me. His letterman jacket, we never even tried to hide the thing. 

 “We’ll need to patrol,” the man grumbled. “I’ll send Juarez back to try and get warrants to search the properties. Do you know if we have to bring that back in?” 

 “God I hope not, I’m not going in the water,” 

 The voices began to fade off again, debating on how to set up the perimeters and getting more people in for a search party before they disappeared in the wind. Dad stayed in front of us a while after, arms outstretched and poised for any strikes necessary, Brent and I knowing better than to make any noise before he gave us permission. Cautiously, I reached out, grabbing his upper arm and squeezing gently. 

 He seemed to blink out of his protective stupor just enough to bring a hand up to mine and squeeze back, giving the outside of the alcove one more look before turning to us. “You guys okay?” He asked, checking over us. He glanced unhappy at Brent’s mud-covered jeans, saying, “You’ll have to ride in the bed of the truck,” 

 “Oh, haha, Dad,” Brent mocked. 

 “Are we going somewhere?” I asked, my hand falling to my side. 

 Dad nodded. “We’ve gotta find a place to stay for now, at least until things die down at the Longhouse. We’re gonna go off the reservation for a bit until Betty calls me.” Motioning for us to follow him, he said, “C’mon. I got you two some clothes to change too.” 

 We parked it at a Zuckers, this giant gas station chain with a kitchen and a car shop, changing out of our mucky clothing and into fresh, warm sweaters and thick pants. Dad did me the courtesy of buying me a cute little brown leather jacket of my own, only two shades away from the color of my boots, a lilac knit and pale blue jeans. 

 They all still had price tags — he hadn’t gone back home. I wasn’t sure if we’d ever be able to, honestly; there were probably agents there too. Would it always be like this? Waiting for the next couch to crash on to become available, changing in musky smelling gas station bathrooms? Is this what life was now? 

 I raked through my hair with the brush I always kept in my backpack, pulling on my hat and walking out to sit with Brent and Dad in a booth near the kitchens. 

 Brent was now in clean, no-mud jeans and a black long sleeve, electing to keep Dad’s carhartt jacket on. He was destroying a pathetic looking pulled pork sandwich, Dad’s tacos going untouched. He looked about as upset as I felt. 

 But when he spotted me approaching, he wiped the discontent from his face, pushing a styrofoam lunch box to me and saying, “I just got you chicken strips and fries, Jeanie. Hope it doesn’t matter,” 

 It didn’t. I barely wanted to eat. 

 “Did you, uh,” I didn’t even know how to ask this, “Did you get everything situated?” 

 Dad, luckily, understood, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah I uh, had to call in a few favors, but it’s under control now.” 

 I nodded, opening the styrofoam container and poking around at the food inside. Brent sat beside me, finishing off his food with no hesitation, but I couldn’t find the same enthusiasm. There were too many questions floating around in my mind. “Dad,” I began, “What’s…what’s going on?” 

 He gently set down the soda he was sipping on, sighing deeply. Brent decided to stop being a glutton beside me, setting down the last bites of his sandwich and giving Dad all his attention, wiping away at the bbq sauce on the corner of his mouth. “Well, what do you want to know?” 

 Brent spoke before my mouth even opened. “Are you really him? Delsin Rowe?” 

 We both assumed it — the conversations, the powers. Betty outright called him so. But we needed to hear it from him. I needed to hear it from him. It didn’t feel fully real until he confirmed it. Like everyone maybe had a case of mistaken identity and this was all just a big misunderstanding. But life would be too easy if we could lean on that fact — especially when Dad hung his head over his food, defeated. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“Why did you — who’s Damion Rowland?” I asked. 

 Dad breathed a laugh like he was trying to lighten the mood. “Well, also me. Legally, right now, I’m Damion Rowland. I was born Delsin Rowe.” 

 “So then, why the name change?” 

 The humor didn’t last long; Dad’s face overcasted like a storm on the sea, shadows of pain and guilt and regret. “I…it was to protect you two. All of us.” Standing abruptly, he closed the container his untouched food was in, saying, “Not here. Come on, I want to take you two somewhere.” 

 We topped off our drinks and hopped back in the truck, Dad not speaking the entire 40 minute drive as he sped away from any sign of civilization and to the woods of Washington state. He followed the road into a forest reserve, riding a scenic route all the way to an overpass before suddenly pulling off to the side, putting the truck in park. “Follow me,” he said simply, getting out of the truck. 

 Brent and I glanced at each other but, with how serious and silent Dad seemed, we knew better than to comment on it. We just followed Dad as he stepped through the thick snow, familiar with wherever it was he was taking us. 

 The trees thickened, basically plunging us into a nighttime darkness despite the fact that the sky was still a blush blue from the sun only just setting. But it didn’t affect Dad. He kept walking, over brush and under branch, leading us down a trail hidden in snow until it spit us out onto a clearing. 

 I gasped. The area was beautiful. You could tell it’d be a field of wildflowers when it was summer, but right now, the area was untouched snow, a blanket of cold comfort to lie in as you looked at the view. It was cliffside with an unobstructed view of the snow capped mountains, the sky clearing up post-snowfall and letting the actual Milky Way glint through, dozens upon dozens of stars and the moon lighting up the sky. Chapman had stars, sure, but not a sky like this. Is this what it was supposed to look like? Like a tear in the fabric of reality, stars from the universe running away through it? The snow soaked up any sounds, leaving us in a calm sort of serene silence as Brent and I stared skyward. 

 “This is where I proposed to your mom,” Dad began, kicking at the snow, pulling our attention from above. He was staring off at nowhere, concentrating only on his words. “Betty watched you two for me, and we spent the day out here, just…hiking. Being together. It’s hard to enjoy each other when you have two twin toddlers running you insane,” he laughed, the humor replaced by pensiveness. 

 There it was again. That timeline didn't add up with what we knew. There shouldn’t have been toddlers and Mom in the same sentence, we were newborns when she died. 

 Dad seemed to pick up on the confusion from Brent and I, the need for more answers. “We lived on the reservation ‘till you were 18 months old.” He began simply, looking off at the horizon. “You two, me. Your mom. In the old house my brother lived in, before he died.” He found a trunk to lean against, staying away in thought for a moment longer before saying. “We — your mom and I, we weren’t even a couple when she ended up pregnant. It was, like, 5 weeks after everything in Seattle that she called me and told me. So I did what any man should do, and had her move in with me, took care of her. It wasn’t hard to love your mom, though; she was a goddamn spitfire. We made it official after we found out we were having what the doctor thought were twin boys.” 

 Out of everything he said, that broke my absolve and made me say, “Wh-what? I was supposed to be a boy?” 

 “Always thought you looked too manly,” Brent joked, dodging my swing. 

 “Not my fault I have more balls than you,” 

 Dad laughed, shaking his head. “That’s not how it works, kids. Only one of you flashed the doc,” he looked pointedly at Brent, “So we had to assume. 

 “There’s something else you two need to know,” he sighed. “Your mother isn’t from — well, no, she is from Jersey, but we didn’t meet in college. She was a part of the Seattle uprising, too. Abigail Walker.” 

 Abigail Walker. That was the woman Conduit, she had revealed Brooke Augustine was training her to kill. She was…her and Delsin, and one other Conduit, they all took down the DUP Director together. That…she was our mom? 

 Brent looked as shocked as I felt, Dad reading the surprise on both of our faces and saying, “But anyways, it was after that, that we became a couple. Not like it mattered, we already made the biggest commitment out of them all, but…then you two were born, and it was strange. Felt right. Never even wanted kids before your mom called me, and here I was taking night duty all of a sudden.” 

 He fell silent there, biting the inside of his frostbitten cheek. “She didn’t die after you two were born. It was…the lie was easier to keep up with, if I just said that. Wouldn’t lead to more questions. But she did get sick. Having you two, it…I don’t know, it activated something in her, some kind of chronic illness. The doctors didn’t even believe us at first, just said it was postpartum and ‘it’ll get better’ and shit. So by the time they took us serious, you guys were a year old.

“She got weaker after having you two. The delivery itself went bad – there was an emergency c-section, a blood transfusion – but she…she never seemed to heal fully. Her powers weren’t as strong, but doctors don’t take that kind of complaint seriously, you know? They didn’t—“ 

 His voice cracked, and he stopped immediately. This looked so hard for him, I’ve never seen him so…small. The mention of Mom sagged his shoulders in, shrunk him down with the weight of such a heavy memory. Shakily inhaling, he tried again, saying, “We started looking into it after your guys’ birthday. Blood draws and tests and stuff. Didn’t really reveal much except there was a whole lot wrong. So we started treating it. 

 “She was weak. I stayed home to help with you two and Betty helped where she could, too. We took care of Abigail, and took care of you. She was having one of her good days when I brought her out here and proposed. I didn’t even have a ring, just kind of did it in the moment. And she said yes. But…” Dad’s voice, it cracked again, coming with a glistening tear that slipped down his cheek. “A week later…Betty couldn’t watch you two. I had to stay behind while she went to another doctor appointment.

 “Those Akurans, they were keeping track of us. Abbs had a bad history with them, and they weren’t fans of me either. Seattle, the Conduits’ release — it completely fucked their gang stuff they were doing. And there were the ex-DUPS too, Lifeline, a bunch of other people threatening us every damn day. They followed her and—and attacked her. She tried to protect herself but she didn’t have—“ 

 Dad’s voice tapered off, leaving us to fill in the gaps. She couldn’t save herself. They came in, probably guns blazing, and killed her. 

 The sight of him crying started my own tears, and they slipped silently down my face, mourning the truth and hurting for Dad. He never cried. I’ve never seen it from him. He was the guy who’d joke to make things lighter, who would always try to be the comedic relief. Seeing him cry, it shattered everything in me. Even Brent shared in the tears. 

 We stayed in that silence for what felt like forever, only sniffles breaking it. At least, until Dad said, “I couldn’t keep her safe. I didn’t…but I could keep you two alive. So I gave the government everything they asked for in exchange for a cover. Name changes, a house. And we left.” 

 Dad did all of that, so he wouldn’t lose anyone else. I knew his brother died when he was younger. And Betty told me about his parents dying from the Plague. To lose Mom on top of it…he lost so many people. I think I understood, now. 

 I’d do everything I could to keep him and Brent safe. Alive. We had so many close calls these past two days, that heart stopping fear that someone you loved was going to be snuffed out like a flame, that was a fear I didn’t wish on anyone. And yet Dad lived it. Again. And again. And again, and again. Four times over. Parents, brother, love. I couldn’t imagine how hard that was. 

 And for him to be the man he still was despite it all was a miracle. He was kind, compassionate, loving. Brent and I never wanted for a single thing aside from unnecessary gifts, and yet we’d still manage to find those things wrapped under the Christmas tree. Dad still found the want to be an advocate, and helped create COLE. He was a good man, despite how much happened to him. He still cared. About others, about us. 

 I was moving before I even realized, wading through the snow to get to his side and wrap my arms around him. I couldn’t find the strength to talk, but I hoped that every bit of my unsaid thanks, my apologies and condolences, were translated into the squeeze. 

 Dad wrapped his arms around me, one leaving after a moment to loop against Brent’s shoulders and pull him in, too. And we stayed there, looking off into the distance and silently crying, finding peace in each other after everything. 

There's the rest of the background and history! From here, I will be doing some more worldbuilding, and then

Oh, then it's time for the fun.

#infamous erosion #infamous first light #infamous second son #infamous 2 #infamous #delsin rowe #abigail walker #fetch walker

[maritasdump]

Hey Marita 😼

Lime, yellow, blue, orange, gray, hot pink

Hey Iva 😼

#jsbdkshkshxjss #you and parm are going to be the death of me #marita asks #homies

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

he’d totally facetime bb all snotty and gross so upset and she’s just like 🤨???

based off a very drunk vampy learning about the Triassic Cuddle

“Look at them! It’s so fucking sad, I hate everything.”

“Yeah, it’s very sad, baby. I get it.”

“They didn’t even know each other! They were just two completely different beings— erghhh!— living their separate lives—”

“Harry, calm down before you make yourself vomit.”

“— and then the world around them collapsed and they somehow found one another amidst the chaos, and in that— erghhh!— in that moment, they became friends!”

“It’s very touching, yes. Now why don’t you take some deep breaths and go sit down for—”

“And even though animals aren’t totally sentient, they still made the— erghhh!— conscience decision to cuddle up around each other for comfort, all in order to spend their— erghhh!— last minutes alive with at least a shred of happiness to stifle their— erghhh!— their fear.”

“Very beautiful, very powerful. Now you should really settle down, you’re starting to gag and hyperventilate—”

“It is! It is really beautiful and powerful! Just two strangers bonding through an integral emotional connection. I’m— erghhh!— I…I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Go sit down. Now.”

“Would you do that for me?”

“Do what?”

“If the world was ending, would you— hic!— would you—”

“Was that a hiccup?”

“Stop interrupting me, I’m trying to ask a very vital question pertaining to the future of our relationship!”

“You won’t even get the chance to finish the question considering you’re about to projectile all over your kitchen counter.”

“Just shut your mouth and listen to me!”

“Fine.”

“Would you— hic!— or would you not snuggle up with me inside a hole in the ground— erghhh!— so we can spend our last moments together and be immortalized in stone?”

“Sure.”

“Liar!”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘liar’? I said yes, didn’t I?!”

“You don’t sound happy about it!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry for not being absolutely ecstatic about a hypothetical apocalypse where we suffocate to death inside a dirt hole. My fucking apologies.”

“The least you could do is be more positive given the circumstances!”

“Is Mitch there? Pass him the phone.”

“No. We’re gonna talk this out, I take this situation very seriously.”

“Mitch, I know you can hear me. Do you still have those ketamine syringes?”

“You’re asking him to drug me?!”

“I’m asking him to sedate you. Watching you drool on yourself while unconscious is way better than watching you regurgitate the chicken parm we had for lunch.”

“I should dump you for this.”

“Be my guest. I’d finally have some peace for longer than a couple hours.”

“Wowwww, you’re not even gonna fight for me? That’s fucking foul, I don’t want you in my armageddon scenario anymore; you can die alone in a forest fire for all I— Ow! I’ve been injected!”

“I’ve got him from here, Y/N. Let’s get you to bed, 2012.”

#ysijwa!ask #ysijwa!blurb

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 149 Expert Review Time

Hey gamers what’s up time for another CHAPTER 👏 REVIEW 👏

It was looking kinda bleak last time for pretty much everyone so I’m hoping things improved this time around, but it seems Murata and ONE are kinda going through their “I’m going to put my characters through the MOST” phase so… that feels unlikely. But nevertheless… still excited to see my favorite boys.

The 10000th Psychic Sister cover. Murata, I’m begging you. There’s literally like 30 other characters to choose from. I know you like drawing boobs but imma need you to put the pencil down for a minute and take a walk because this just ain’t IT.

“Summer is coming” it is July. Summer has been here for ten years. I’m so fucking hot all the time. Everything has been evaporated out of me and I’m literally a raisin.

The Psychic Sisters covers are just so devoid of life a lot of the time… I wouldn’t mind if it was them fighting or engaging in everyday activities but when they’re posed for the camera and deliberately placed there to look sexy it just sucks all the human out of them. The cover/splash page is a great chance to show characters in a new light!!! It’s mostly set away from the story so you can do whatever you want! Choosing to make 80 fanservice covers is just wasted opportunity for what could be additional character development. It’s gotten to a point where even the smegma-slinging bitchboys on Reddit are complaining about the excessive sexy covers…. When PussySlayer384756 complains that there’s too much tittage being shown, that’s how you KNOW we’ve got a problem. Now, idk how the fan climate is in Japan but I can’t imagine they’re feeling much different over there either.

Also, her anatomy is… janky. Her tit is bigger than her head, her belly is too long, and she’s got like 4 spare ribs. Like, I’m by no means an art expert but it doesn’t take a chef to know the soup is shit, you know what I mean? I feel like page after page of Murata drawing obscene muscle men has made him rusty on what should be (somewhat) normal-looking people.

Darkshine learns what TRUE peak male performance looks like.

You’ve gotta wonder how Darkshine even got to the S-Class to begin with when he pussies out of nearly every single fight… except the one where the opponent was literal water. Everyone says that he just joined the association for additional validation, and I believe it… this boy is not cut out for actual hero-ing. 99% Of the time HE’S the one who needs a hero.

It kinda bothers me how useless he’s been post-Garou fight, especially when we spent like an entire chapter trying to console his ass. I get that’s part of his character and development… but it’s begun to slow things down. We get it. We don’t need to see him be insecure every time a new enemy pops up. One was enough. We would’ve gotten the same effect if he just sat out the entire time post-consolation, because everything that’s happened to him on the surface has been kinda redundant.

Here comes the boooyyy 🎶🎶

Nice callback. I’m glad Metal Bat is finally here. Bitch runs slow as fuck.

It’s nice to see him act on his own agency instead of orders from the hero association. He’s clearly much happier when helping out on his own accord, and has a ton of initiative too. The chapter he got with just he and King meeting up and slingshotting themselves to the fight was really a breath of fresh air from all of the fighting. It’s moments like these where ONE remembers that people like OPM for the characters, and not necessarily the pretty action sequences. I really like this duo. I like Metal Bat. I like it when they’re given time to be themselves and not just vessels for the next fight scene.

I know I said I wanted the heroes to die but Murata I’m begging you please don’t kill the child. You can kill Puri, though. I hate that fucker.

Child Emperor regularly visiting and eating with Bofoi even despite being his lab assistant would be a lot cuter if Bofoi wasn’t the human equivalent to a dog turd. I might’ve overstated that… seems like Bofoi is just using him as an errand boy. The clear lack of respect he has for CE is very indicative of his character and is not necessarily a bad thing plot-wise, but I would still like to beat him with a cane. Additionally, it’s clear that he’s not going to help the heroes here. At least, I don’t think so. His “fuck them kids” attitude seems to be a pretty big pillar in the building of his character and I doubt ONE would jeopardize that just because he’s written himself into a corner. Oh, well. We’ll see.

It’s very sweet that even when near death, CE still thinks of Zombieman. Aaaaghh it’s so GOOD when the characters actually LIKE each other. I know realistically not everyone is gonna be friends but man… it would be a lot cooler if we got more insight on their chemistry. Pleaz have more Metal Bat-and-King-esque chapters. I wanna see how everyone gets along.

Also, the concept of Puri just manifesting drilling powers and carving through solid rock with nothing else but pure strength and determination is so funny. A little convenient, sure, but I really don’t care because it’s actually done well. Their reunion scene is hilarious. More stuff like this pleaz….

I don’t even know what to say about Genos here. Dude, I know you made an oath to protect Tatsumaki or whatever, but there’s no shame in a good bail. You can’t even bail anymore because your damn legs are gone. See, this is what happens when you make promises. The secret to keeping your legs intact is doing the bare minimum. Hope this helps ❤️

He’s making a valiant effort but… I’m afraid he just ain’t gonna do much while roleplaying as a worm. Maybe he’ll make a chrysalis and come out as a butterfly. Wait, that’s caterpillars. Fuck. TATSUMAKI IS A GONER, BRO. WE NEED YOU TO BE THE DEUTERAGONIST!! IF YOU DIE WE LOSE 70% OF MERCH SALES NOOOOOOOO

Local man has a heart attack in front of thousands of little monsters and somehow saves the world, more at 5.

King I’m begging you please get that shit checked out that’s not NORMAL.

Yeah, I like this conclusion. Very tasteful cliffhanger. I mean we know King ain’t gonna do shit but SOMEHOW black sperm is gonna get punted like the little cumstain he is. Can’t wait to see the events that unfold next chapter… it seems like every scene that involves King turns out to be really funny and I’m super looking forward to black sperm seeing Jesus.

Also, a little off-topic but I just really like the way Murata inked his pants. Got a real comic book feel to it. I mean, he’s just really good at drawing clothes overall (save for Fubuki’s body-tight dress that is 100% not how women’s clothing works but I digress). Fucker understands fabric physics like I understand how to make a bomb ass chicken parm. I respect it.

In conclusion, lower everyone’s expectations of you and you might get to keep your arms and legs. This has been Life Lessons from Forrest. You now owe me 50$.

#one punch man #opm #zombieman #metal bat #child emperor #king #manga spoilers #I mean not really it’s been out for like two weeks now (I think) #Genos #Tatsumaki #puri puri prisoner #meta

[imaginary-portal]

Unspoken - Part Two

Bucky Barnes x Fem Reader

Summary: Y/N is a superhero with telekinetic and healing capabilities. The only catch, she doesn’t speak (italicized words are thoughts).

Word Count: ~2k words

Part One Part Three

Masterlist

Enjoy!

——————

While Y/N was in the bathroom, Sam and Bucky had a conversation. Although they tried to keep their voices hush, Y/N could hear mumblings through the wall.

“How did you get her to stay?” Sam asked. “I don’t know, I was rambling for a while and she just wrote down on paper.” Bucky said. “Are you ok?” Sam asked. “Yeah, she just reminds me a bit of myself when I was recovering.” Sam nodded. “Maybe she’s been through some shit-“ Y/N opened the bathroom door and the conversation stopped. “So Bucky did you finally decide what to eat?” Sam recovered quickly so Y/N didn’t raise any suspicion. “Uh I guess I’ll get the parm.” Bucky said. “I’ll call it in. Be right back.” Sam left the room and called the food in from outside. Y/N sat down on a bed, pulled out her book and started reading. “Um- that’s Sam’s bed. I don’t know what we’ll do for the sleeping situation tonight.” Bucky said awkwardly. She gets up and sit in a chair instead, continuing her reading.

When Sam returns he finally breaks the ice. “The food should be here in half an hour. So do you want a bed to yourself or do you mind sleeping with one of us?” Y/N ponders for a moment. It would be nice to avoid any awkwardness and sleep alone. Plus it seems the two could use some bonding. Something about their friendship seems off. On the other hand, I feel like I can trust Sam. Y/N points to Sam’s bed. “I already told her it was your bed.” Bucky points out. “Are you ok with that?” Sam asks and she nods her head. Sam and Bucky exchange silent glances. Sam’s was a look of victory, he got her to nod. Bucky’s was a look of jealousy. Sam tried half as hard and got more communication from her.

Y/N read some more, but she finished her book. Since she only carries one with her at a time, she was at a loss. “Good book?” Sam asked. Y/N handed him the book and he flipped through the pages. Y/N looked over at Bucky, who was looking back at her. Unable to handle the queasy feeling, she immediately looked away. “Hmm seems interesting.” Sam handed the book back. Y/N grabbed the remote from the desk. How are these dudes just sitting here? Don’t they want something to pass the time? Y/N turned on the television and flipped through the channels. She decided on the sports channel, something she thought the guys would enjoy. They sat and watched the game until a knock sounded at the hotel room door.

Sam grabbed the food and paid the delivery guy, who spent his time looking at Y/N in the background. Bucky caught wind of this and tightened his jaw at the sight. Bucky felt a wave of overprotection wash over him. He didn’t know why, but Bucky didn’t want to think about Y/N being with someone. Bucky shot a death glare at the delivery guy, who started to look a little worried. When Sam finally shut the door, eating time began. The hotel room was silent as everyone enjoyed their meals. Y/N didn’t want to look too desperate, but this salad was the largest meal she’d had in days. Y/N is not good at prioritizing her money, she spends it all on books and coffee. Sam noticed that she finished her salad within minutes. “We could have gotten you something else if we knew you were that hungry. Want some money for the vending machine?” Sam offered as Y/N looked up at him. Without prompt, Sam grabs some money out of his bag. “Go crazy girl.” He hands her two dollars. Y/N leaves to find the vending machine.

“Dude, did you give the delivery guy one of your stone cold stares? He looked like he was about to piss himself.” Sam said, laughing. Bucky avoided eye contact as he took a bite of his food. “He was staring at her. The look in his eyes just gave me a bad feeling.” Bucky defended himself but Sam could see right through it. “You know she looks at you, right? When you’re not paying attention.” Sam added. Bucky shook his head. “I doubt it. If anything she likes you.” Sam put down his fork. “That’s where I disagree. She trusts me more, but she likes you.” Sam paused but saw no reaction from Bucky. “Fine, want to make a bet? If she likes you, you have to wash our laundry for the week.” Bucky shoved another bite of chicken parm in his mouth. “How would we know if she likes me?” Sam huffed a smile. “You mean besides the goo goo eyes she’s been giving you? I don’t know, maybe if she makes a move or something.” Bucky sighed. She doesn’t even talk to me, she barely gives me any sort of acknowledgment. I’ll win this bet, easy. “Fine, we have a deal.” The two men shook hands.

After walking around for a few minutes, Y/N found the vending machine in a hidden corner. Her eyes widened at the sight of a candy bar. Y/N ate the chocolate on a bench outside, not wanting to interrupt the guys. She comes back inside to see the two finished eating and getting ready to sleep. The room smelt strongly of Italian food.

“I’m going to shower real quick.” Bucky announced, not knowing Y/N was in the room. The tone of his voice is different. Y/N made a mental note. Y/N took off her shoes and approached Sam’s bed. “I’ll keep this between us but, can you tell me your name?” Sam asked. Y/N contemplated. Ah screw it. I’m feeling generous today. Y/N took the hotel notepad and wrote her name down. She folded up the paper and handed it to Sam. “Y/N. What a pretty name.” He said with a smile. “I promise I won’t tell Bucky.” Y/N got under the covers and turned off the lamp next to her. “Goodnight Y/N.” Sam said and got into bed.

The two slept with their backs towards each other, however, that gave Y/N a direct line of sight to Bucky’s bed. When Bucky got out of the shower, the bathroom light shined in her face. She saw his damp hair, he was only wearing boxers. Y/N got a quick peek at his abdomen. Bucky smirked at Y/N when he noticed her look. He slept facing Y/N, hoping to get a glimpse of what she looks like asleep in the morning.

——————

Bucky was the last to awaken in the morning, Sam getting up for an early run and Y/N taking a shower. Bucky finally got out of bed when he heard the bathroom door open. Y/N’s hair was wet and she smelt fresh. Bucky awkwardly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Y/N watched him from behind, subtly checking him out without him knowing. Just as Bucky finished getting dressed, Sam came back. “I’ll meet you guys for breakfast I’m just gonna shower real quick.” Sam said, short of breath.

After breakfast, the three went to scope out their next mission. They had intel about the position of the super soldiers and it appeared to be correct. “Let’s go in, while they least expect it.” Sam said. “Wait, what if there’s civilians in there?” Bucky asked. “Well I have yet to see a single one. Even if we just start from outside we can get them.” Bucky contemplated for a minute. “Ok, what do we do with her?” Bucky gave Y/N a side eye. “She helps us out, yeah?” Y/N nodded in Sam’s direction. “Sounds like a plan. Let’s get in there.”

There turned out to be more super soldiers than originally expected, causing the team some struggles. Y/N was a big help, moving large objects to thwart groups of them. However, there came a point where the three of them were encircled by the soldiers.

“Y/N look out!” Sam yelled and Y/N stopped a flying sword that was coming after her. Bucky stopped in his tracks. “Y/N, hm that’s her name.” He mumbled to himself. However, he didn’t have much more time to think about it because another super soldier came running at him. Y/N grabbed the sword and started fighting soldiers with combat as well. Y/N heard a gun click and turned her head to see it was pointing at Sam and Bucky. When the gun fired, Y/N made the bullets fall to the ground. The soldier wasted an entire round of bullets.

The soldiers ended up giving in, but running away as a group. Sam chased after them, but to no avail. Bucky looked to be in pain, as he was crouched on the ground, groaning. Y/N approached him and saw his hand covering his shoulder. It looks like he was stabbed. Y/N reaches her hand out and heals the wound, Bucky’s breathing slowed. Y/N also healed the cuts on his face and arm. Bucky watched in amazement as Y/N used her powers to heal him. He liked the feel of her gentle hands on his skin. He looked into her eyes, “Thank you, Y/N.” Y/N nodded and helped Bucky stand up. She liked the sound of her name coming from his mouth. Sam returned appearing unharmed. “Let’s get our stuff, they’re heading north.”

Another night another hotel with only two beds. This time felt different, though, now that Bucky’s wounds are healed, he doesn’t have to take this time to recover from them. He was excited to get a good sleep. “How about we take turns yeah? Y/N can swap between beds so that way it’s fair?” Y/N shrugged as if she didn’t care. However, she was excited to share a bed with Bucky.

That night Bucky and Y/N also slept with their backs facing each other. Bucky was awakened in the middle of the night by some murmurs from the other side of the bed. Bucky turned on the light and looked over to Y/N. She was having a nightmare and talking in her sleep. Bucky turned off the light and settled back into bed. Her voice sounded so vulnerable and desperate. It made him sad that he had to hear her voice for the first time like that, but there was nothing he could do about her nightmare. He wondered if Sam dealt with the same thing the night before. It was hard to fall back asleep because then Y/N started to quietly whimper. When the whimpers stopped Y/N woke up. She slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom, teary eyed. She washed up and brought herself back into reality. It was just a dream. I hope I didn’t wake anyone else up. Y/N would be embarrassed if they knew.

Y/N went back to bed, and Bucky whispered her name, “Y/N, is everything ok?” He obviously wouldn’t be able to tell in the dark so he turned on the lamp. He turned towards Y/N, who had wrapped the blanket around her, her eyes red. “You know I, I get nightmares too.” Bucky sat up, close to Y/N, his voice barely a whisper. Y/N’s heart started racing at the thought of him hearing her dreams. “For a while I wasn’t a good guy, I was under mind control and torture. I did things, horrible things you could never imagine.” Y/N watched him as he spoke, while Bucky stared into the distance. “I’m still not over it, but it does get better. I promise.” Bucky slowly moved his arm to rest on Y/N’s blanketed shoulder. “If you ever want to talk-or I guess write about it, I’m here.” Y/N liked the sound of his voice, soft and comforting. Bucky looked over to Y/N to see her looking right back at him. Y/N felt her embarrassment wash away. She gave Bucky a small smile, which he returned. I guess he’s different than I thought. Y/N laid down and faced opposite of Bucky, ready to go back to sleep. Bucky reached over and turned off the light. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

——————

Tags: @learisa

Copyright © 2021 imaginary-portal. All rights reserved.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagine #imagine #mcu #marvel #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #fanfic #crush imagine

[stxphxn-strange]

(no) rest for the innocent

summary: Tony wasn’t even on trial, but the jury found him guilty and he couldn’t disagree.

a/n: idk last night i was thinking about tony dealing w survivor’s guilt after endgame (and IW) so i threw this together, tw for mention of death and implied thoughts of suicide

“Good evening, Doctor.” FRIDAY’s warm, pleasant voice always reminded Stephen of home and cinnamon scented candles. “How was your trip?” 

“Too long for a meeting that could’ve been handled over email. Or through carrier pigeon, as Tony would say,” Stephen replied as his cloak sailed off down the hall. 

He washed his hands carefully, drying them on an Iron Man dish towel that Peter had given them as a joke wedding gift before putting the kettle on. 

As the water was boiling, he noticed a covered plate on the kitchen counter. There was an obnoxiously orange piece of paper in front of it, which made Stephen smile. Tony always left him little notes on purposefully electrifying paper, that way they were easy to find. 

The sorcerer’s smile only widened as he read the note. 

Steph— 

I wasn’t sure when you’d be back, but I decided to make you dinner anyway. But not because I’m missing you and wanted to surprise you, I just accidentally cooked too much. You know how that happens sometimes and you just end up with an ungodly amount of chicken parm? Life’s funny like that. 

Anyway, I’m in the lab. I had some good ideas earlier and I wanted to start them while I still felt productive. Welcome home sweetheart, and if you go to bed before I do (because you probably will, you responsible asshole you), sweet dreams and goodnight. 

Love, Tones

PS— Orange you glad you met me? … don’t answer that, I just couldn’t help it and had to write that down. 

Stephen rolled his eyes fondly. “Fri, will you tell Tony that even though he’s not funny, I’m very glad I met him?” 

FRIDAY was quiet for a few moments before responding. “Boss says, quote, ‘fuck you Gandalf, I’m hilarious,’ unquote.” 

Stephen smiled, heating up his meal before sitting down to eat. He flipped through a magazine while he ate, FRIDAY turning on some soft jazz music as background noise until Stephen cleaned up and left the kitchen. After a refreshing shower, the sorcerer found himself in his most comfortable pjs and slippers as he walked through the house. Stephen wasn’t sure if he was going to bed yet, but he wanted to see Tony (and maybe he wanted a kiss or two or even three). 

The music in the lab automatically lowered when Stephen shut the door behind him, and Tony looked up with an expression that could only be described as tired. 

Actually, he looked exhausted. Weary. Barely holding himself together. Stephen wasn’t a thesaurus, but very concerned about his husband. 

Tony was trying to smile, but he seemed too exhausted to do that and just gave up, not saying anything as Stephen sat beside him. 

“Hi.” Stephen leaned over and softly kissed his husband’s temple. “Thanks for cooking for me, you didn’t have to.” 

Tony shrugged. “I had a lot of energy earlier, and I accidentally cooked way too much. Maybe it was intentional, you know I’d take any excuse to go out of my way for you.” 

His words said one thing, but his tone betrayed him. His voice was brittle, hard, and almost staticky. Stephen thought he sounded like a rusted hinge that was trying not to cry out for repairs… or maybe that analogy only made sense given where they were. 

Stephen kissed him again as Tony sat back at his desk, closing his well-used sketchbook. “You alright?” 

“Yeah. Tired I guess.” Tony sounded as unconvinced as Stephen felt. 

“Come to bed with me,” Stephen offered. “I’ll bore you to sleep by telling you about the meeting.” 

Tony laughed hollowly. “That bad?” 

“I don’t know how to describe it, but it was a waste of time. Even Wong was bored, and he watches the Antiques Roadshow remake for fun,” Stephen replied. He yawned and leaned against Tony’s side. 

“I see what you’re doing,” Tony murmured, trying to be lighthearted. He was just feeling some kind of way right now, he felt serious and was so endeared by his husband that it hurt. 

“What am I doing?” Stephen asked, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

“Being cute and sweet so I’ll go to bed and let you be the big spoon,” Tony accused. “And maybe I just really fucking need a hug, but… it’s working.” 

Stephen shifted and pulled Tony into his arms, holding the mechanic close as he went lax. 

“My Boss Is Singing Closing Time Protocol please, Fri,” Tony mumbled. 

“Goodnight Boss, goodnight Doctor,” the AI replied, beginning to run the lab’s standard closing protocol. 

“Portal?” Stephen asked. Tony was getting better with going through portals, but some days were harder than others. Stephen didn’t know what tonight would be like and opted to ask, selfishly wanting to make sure Tony got some rest as soon as possible. 

He was so out of it by that point that Stephen wasn’t sure if Tony registered the question, but he nodded slowly and trusted Stephen to lead him through it and into their bed. 

Despite “resembling a sloth clinging to a tree bough,” (Tony’s words) Stephen was intuitive and knew when not to hug Tony. Even when he was asleep, if Tony woke up thrashing or fighting against something in a dream, Stephen let him go. 

Tonight was a bit different. Stephen wasn’t brought to the edge of reality by Tony thrashing in their bed or accidentally tangling himself in their sheets, so he assumed everything was fine. That was until the sorcerer hugged his husband closer, still mostly asleep and just following his instinct, and Tony outright begged Stephen to let go of him. He wasn’t quite awake, but Stephen backed off immediately and heard Tony trip over his own feet as he left the room. The sorcerer fell asleep again after that, trying to stop the sound of Tony’s broken plea from cementing itself in his memory. When Tony climbed back into bed some time later, Stephen was stirring a little bit more. Tony hid his face in Stephen’s collarbone and said nothing, his breathing still slightly erratic. 

“Sorry if I woke you up,” he mumbled. 

“Don’ be,” Stephen replied, his voice unsure whether or not to wake up. 

“Will you hold me again?” Tony asked pleadingly, his voice almost imperceptible. 

Stephen wordlessly obliged, kissing the top of his head. “Whatever’s bothering you… you can talk to me about it. When you’re ready. And you don’t have to, but I’m here for you.” 

Tony nodded. “It feels like too much right now. What I’m thinking about, I mean. I need time to process, I guess.” 

“Okay,” Stephen said simply. “But I’m here for you whenever.”

“I know. I love you,” Tony replied. 

Stephen began to trace soothing patterns on Tony’s back. “Love you Tones.” 

++++

Tony didn’t seem any more rested the next day, but his confident Tony Stark™ pose seemed natural. He’d easily be able to fool people who didn’t know him as well as his family did. So it was a “fake it until you make it” kind of day, and Tony’s energy was on a strict schedule. There was only so much he could take today, and if his teammates wanted to call him selfish then that was their choice. 

It would just go in one ear and out the other, especially this late in the day and after brutal team training. Tony was close to skipping the meeting, but a cutting remark in the hallway made him change his mind. Why did they always act like it was breaking news when Tony needed to step back from something anyway? He was just as human as anyone else, and the world was happy to throw responsibilities on his unenhanced, steady shoulders just because he was a natural caretaker. 

The arguments about Tony’s quiet, withdrawn demeanor started two minutes into the meeting. Stephen was ready to defend his husband as soon as they got to the conference room, Tony collapsing into a chair and leaning his head against the cool metal of the table. 

He didn’t want to talk today, and Stephen didn’t want him to. 

“It’s not nap time, Stark.” There was a small hint of fondness in Natasha’s cold, clipped voice. 

Tony was already regretting his decision to show up, wishing he hadn’t told Stephen again and again that he was fine. He wasn’t, and they both knew it. Everyone knew it, but Tony knew better than to advocate for himself in front of his… colleagues. 

“I don’t even remember what we’re meeting about,” Tony muttered, looking up enough to address whoever was talking to him. 

Rhodey took a seat beside Tony, encouragingly patting his back. “You good?” 

“I’m fine, Honeybear,” Tony replied. He was sitting between his two favorite people, and that helped him feel a little more grounded. “I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

Someone scoffed. “I don’t think anyone’s slept right in months. And don’t say you haven’t slept in years, Stark. We don’t need a story about how everything you’ve ever done has led to years of sleepless nights. We know already. Put it in a book or something and make the team more money so I can have better arrows.” 

Stephen was two seconds away from dropping the archer into the Dark Dimension, or flipping a table. He wasn’t sure how to handle the man yet, still taken aback by the rudeness and stupidity of his comment. “Barton, what the fuck—” 

“Steph, don’t bother with him,” Tony said. He stood up, forcing his tiredness into a corner and giving his coworkers a confident glare. “Pardon me for giving it my all and being a bit tired as a result. Now I’m going to get an ice pack for my shoulder and maybe a cup of coffee. Does anyone want anything?” 

“I’ll take a—”

“Get it yourself, you know where the kitchen is.” 

For dramatic effect (and moral support), the cloak landed on Tony’s shoulders and billowed out as he left the room. He returned with the aforementioned ice and coffee, and a mug of tea for Stephen. 

“You didn’t have to do that sweetheart, but thank you,” Stephen said appreciatively. 

“That’s why I wanted to,” Tony replied. He relaxed a little into his chair, starting to believe he could get through the meeting. 

Then, like clockwork, Clint opened his mouth to complain. 

“Why did you bring him tea and nothing for the rest of us?” He whined. 

“Doesn’t Tony do enough for you?” Stephen asked, innocently taking a sip of his tea. It was his afternoon green tea, made exactly the way he liked it. 

Tony was always so sweet and attentive with his loved ones, it warmed Stephen’s heart. The sorcerer stifled a laugh as Rhodey poured half of Tony’s coffee into his own empty mug. 

“Thank you,” the colonel said impishly. “Consider the roommate tax paid for this month.” 

Tony tried to smile at the old inside joke, but Stephen noticed that it fell flat. 

“Are we done with the interruptions? We need to talk about what’s out there. We don’t know if Thanos is the exception or the rule, and—”

Tony stopped listening. Clint’s snootiness was doing his head in, but the idea of another threat, another thing, another colossus he’d have to conquer and survive if his luck had anything to say about it… that was the breaking point. 

Tony didn’t have a good relationship with luck. He didn’t really believe in it, but apparently it believed in him. Because Tony was lucky. It was true that he was lucky in meeting his husband, his friends, and his family, but this was a different kind of luck. Tony was intelligent and skilled, shrewd and savvy, and there was virtually nothing he couldn’t do or solve, except for one thing. 

He was constantly lucky, constantly cheating death. 

And he didn’t realize that he was hyperventilating, didn’t recall dropping his head into his hands. He didn’t recall that he’d just walked out in the middle of the meeting after a minute, didn’t realize that he was home when he opened his eyes. 

Tony was home, in his spot on the couch in Stephen’s library. Stephen was sitting beside him, quietly watching a documentary or something like that. Tony was laying down, his head in Stephen’s lap with the cloak draped over him like a blanket. The crimson fabric continued to cling to him as he sat up, further proving Tony’s point that Levi liked him best, but he wasn’t in the mood to banter now. He just appreciated the support and the warmth of his sorcerer and their shared, sentient blanket.

With some hesitancy, Tony leaned over and rested his head on Stephen’s shoulder. They locked eyes for a minute, Tony’s gaze deliriously bright and vacant. 

Stephen didn’t know what to say or do to make the man trembling in his arms feel better, but started by hugging him closer and softly stroking up and down his spine. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, lowering his head and hiding against Stephen’s chest. 

“No apologies,” Stephen reminded him. “I don’t want or need them, and you don’t have to explain yourself.” 

“I have to give a good reason,” Tony said, his voice beginning to shake. “Everything I do needs a reason.” 

“Why? Says who?” Stephen asked. He was more thinking aloud, half expecting Tony to leave the question unanswered. 

For a while, he did. He just sat, furiously trying to blink back tears and gather his thoughts as Stephen held him protectively. 

“Sometimes I think about… things,” Tony began vaguely. “And people. And places. I guess I just like nouns.” 

At this point, he didn’t even know if he was trying to deflect or just tell a joke, but his attempt at humor fell flat. He tried to force a laugh, but halfway through it turned into a painful sob. He cried harder with each breath, ignoring the ache in his chest. Tony barely listened when Stephen encouraged him to breathe, but eventually he gave into his exhaustion and listened to his lungs. 

His stupid lungs, which apparently were just as stubborn as his brain. 

“I can’t keep doing this,” Tony whispered. “I shouldn’t have survived Afghanistan, New York, Sokovia, Siberia, or Titan. I can’t keep cheating death, Stephen. I don’t want to. I don’t want to be lucky and survive when the damage I’ve caused, the damage I claim full responsibility for, has taken so many lives. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt or killed for me.” 

Stephen pressed a soft kiss to his hair, feeling Tony’s guit and fatigue as if it was his own. 

“I don’t want to do this,” Tony repeated. “I’m probably just spiraling or being needlessly selfish, but  I… I don’t know.” 

“You’re taking on too much responsibility where you don’t need to,” Stephen said. “I know that’s easy for me to just say from the outside, but you aren’t the only Avenger. It’s about time the team, if you can even call them that, takes accountability for their actions and stops bulldozing you with their problems. You aren’t selfish, Tones. You’re tired and overworked, and you deserve a break. You deserve to breathe, to just exist without feeling like you have to look over your shoulder or justify your every step.” 

“I don’t think I know how to even do that anymore,” Tony replied. “And I don’t deserve it.” 

“You do,” Stephen argued. “And rest assured I’ll keep telling you that. And I’ll keep telling you how much I love you, because I really do.” 

Tony smiled sadly, trying to press himself closer to Stephen if that was even possible. “I love you too.” 

He was starting to settle down, soothed by a flurry of soft kisses in his hair and the gentle brushes up and down his spine, when FRIDAY quietly spoke up. She almost sounded remorseful. 

“Mister Parker is requesting one or both of you in the lab, whenever it’s convenient,” she began. “And he’s asked me to assure you that it’s nothing major.” 

Tony sighed, sitting up again. “I’ll investigate.” 

Stephen shook his head. “No, let me. I’ll tell Peter that you’re resting, and he’ll understand.” 

“I don’t want him to think I don’t care,” Tony whispered. 

“He would never think that. You know how he gets about making sure you take care of yourself, and Peter knows with certainty that you care about him. Our son is much more mature than the Avengers,” Stephen replied. 

“I still feel bad,” Tony said. 

“I know. I can promise him Thai food if that’ll make you feel better?” Stephen suggested, half jokingly. 

“It actually would,” Tony admitted. “FRIDAY, will you schedule a Thai food delivery for 6:30pm please?” 

“Scheduled,” she replied simpy. She still sounded apologetic for disturbing them right as Tony was falling asleep, but maybe Stephen imagined that. 

The sorcerer stood up gracefully, covering Tony with another blanket as the cloak wrapped a bit tighter around him. “Look after yourself and relax, or get some sleep. No one’s expecting anything from you right now Tones, alright? I love you.” 

Tony nodded, a little smile on his face as Stephen kissed him again. “Love you.” 

He really wanted to sleep. He actually put effort into falling asleep, which was something he never thought he’d do, and of course sleep didn’t come easily. Sleep never came easily, but the memories did. It was all too easy for Tony to get caught in a thought stream, whether he was planning a surprise, inventing, or remembering unpleasantries. Today he was overwhelmed by guilt, readily convincing himself that he was a selfish failure like Howard Stark and his teammates liked to say. It was too easy to get lost in their ire and wanting to please everyone, and Tony had given up so much of his agency just to try and make other people happy. 

It was exhausting, and he didn’t even feel like he’d succeeded at that. 

The mechanic started tearing up again as he continued to think in a circular pattern, faintly aware of the Cloak trying to comfort him. It was a sweet, welcome gesture, and Tony let it happen and let himself cry. He was still laying there in tears when Stephen came back in half an hour later.

“Pete says he hopes you feel better,” Stephen said, returning to his spot and pulling Tony close. “And I told him to just go ahead and eat whenever he’s hungry, or when the food gets here.” 

Tony just nodded, feeling relieved and supported in Stephen’s arms again. He nodded again, as if trying to shake the unending self-deprecating thoughts from his head, before saying anything. “Sounds good.”

tags: @salty-ironstrange-shipper @stark-strange-love2 @chocopiggy @katninjagirl97 @kitkatfat15 @taruyison @funkylittlebidiot

#tony stark #stephen strange #ironstrange #not endgame compliant #non infinity war compliant #peter parker #ironstrange and spiderson #not avengers friendly lowkey #not clint barton friendly #james rhodey rhodes #tw mention of character death #tw death mention #tw sui mention