inkyshouse26

[inkyshouse26]

This post has a trigger warning. So please, if you don't want to risk being triggered then avoid reading this post.

I have been struggling with self harm on and off throughout my life. Currently I believe that it's at it's worst. But as I mentioned in my last post I am in a mental health group chat and I think it's helping a bit. I'm not really sure if I'm trying to stop or not. If I am then I'm not doing a very good job.

I think the main reason I wanted to post about this is because I want anyone who is going through this or something similar to know that this page is a safe place. Also, anyone who knows someone who is self harming may have questions that I'm more then willing to answer. Questions that might trigger other people. Of course, I may not be able to answer all of your questions but I will still try. And please remember that it's different for everyone. What helps me may or may not help someone else.

Please know that this page is a judge free zone and that if you are struggling you're more then welcome to talk about it here. You're safe, and you're valid.

#mental health #mentalheathawareness #mental illness #self harrrm #sh #awareness #journal entry #journal #entry #diary #update #safety #addiction #self help #healing #help

[inkyshouse26]

I’m currently in a mental health group chat and I honestly think that this is gonna be a good way for me to connect with some really nice people who actually take mental health seriously. It’s only been open for a day and we’re already becoming good friends.

#mentalheathawareness #mental illness #sh #journal entry #journal #entry #diary #update #group chat #friends #mental health #strength

[inkyshouse26]

I just found out that I’m going to go to this really immersive Van Gogh exhibit this summer and I’m so excited!

This painting is one of my absolute favorites. It’s called Almond Blossoms and it was painted in 1890, it was a gift to Van Gogh’s newborn nephew who was named after him.

There was something about the fact that he painted it for his nephew that gave it more emotion and love to me. Van Gogh was always described as a troubled artist. And people back then were cruel to him. This specific painting kind of stripped away all of the stigmas that were given to him by the people of his time and really highlighted the fact that this man, was just that, a man. A man with a family and a life. And for me this really stuck out to me as the one painting that he made that really called attention to his sense of love and humanity. I guess there’s comfort for me in the fact that though he was brilliant and talented beyond his years, he was still even more then that. Whether that be a friend, a brother, or, an uncle.

He was a person, and I find amazement in the fact that greatness to such degree can lie within someone so very human.

#art #painting #paint #journal #journal entry #diary #entry #mental health #artist #starry starry night #van gogh #almond blossoms #beauty #talent #excited #excitment #beautiful

[inkyshouse26]

Where the hell has Cavetown been my whole life?? How have I just now learned about them?? So far Devil Town and Sharpener are my favorites.

I’ve always loved music. It’s something about relating to lyrics or resonating with the beat that gives this realistic feeling of being deeply understood in a way that a simple conversation fails to provide. Music knows the side of us we hide from the world and highlights it. And for a moment we become the main character of our own story. It’s a feeling that I find very comforting, and one I hope to never lose.

#cavetown #journal entry #entry #just a thought #music #relate #relateible #mental health #mental illness #sh #sharpener #deviltown #musicians #diary #writer #writing #mentalheathawareness #band

[inkyshouse26]

Toxic.

I’ve never lived in a healthy, stable environment. It’s like plucking weeds from a garden. Except no one does, so the flowers are unable to grow properly. I never want me or my home to be poisoned soil for my kids. It’s rare to find someone who’s had a good childhood. I don’t even know what classifies such. I hope they know comfort and safety in a way that I never did, and probably never will.

#mentalheathawareness #toxic household #toxic parents #toxic #journal #thoughts #hopes #dreams #kids #home #home & lifestyle #diary #journal entry #entry #mental illness #mental health #stability #safety

[inkyshouse26]

Been thinking a lot about the future and what I want to become. There are so many things that I love to do but no matter the passion I have for those things there’s always a doubt of whether or not I’m good enough.

(Not my photo. Credit to whoever’s photo this is.)

#space #journal #writing #writer #diary #aesthetic #dark #relatable #reflective #mental health #future #overthinking #nervous #notgoodenough #any advice?

[inkyshouse26]

Went on a walk today. The weather here is surprisingly nice. It’s not too cold and it’s not too hot. The only ‘bad’ thing about it is how damp it is. But that’s not really a complaint in my opinion. I love rain. I love storms even more.

The walk was fun. I went with my boyfriend and his best friend. We brought the puppies too. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all. My expectations of life have only been getting lower. Which is sad, because I know life has so much more to offer. I just have to embrace it. And hopefully soon, I will.

(This is not my photo. Credits to whoever’s photo it is.)

#nature #journal #writing #writer #walk #flowers #flower #picture #blog #blogger #aesthetic #aestheitcs #nature aesthetic

[inkyshouse26]

Anxiety Sucks!

I’ve had severe anxiety/panic attacks since I was five years old. You would think that dealing with it for so long would somehow make it easier. Like, after all this time it would be more like a routine rather then an obstruction in my day. If you think that then I hate to inform you that you’re unfortunately wrong. At least in my case.

A lot of people who don’t have to deal with severe anxiety. Or attacks. Don’t really understand that everyone’s anxiety is different. Different triggers, different tics, and different symptoms. It even shows itself in different ways. Whether someone bites the inside of their cheek or their knee bounces to an unknown rhythm. Those early signs, so matter how they present themselves are signs that could lead to trembling on the bathroom floor.

I wish that people cared enough to do more research on anxiety, so that more people could recognize the signs. Maybe then it might be slightly easier to deal with because for the first time we wouldn’t be dealing with it alone.

#anxiety #mentalheathawareness #mental illness #nervous #stressed #stress #mental health #relatable

[inkyshouse26]

Hello Everyone.

So, I started a Tumblr. I guess I’m just trying to figure out where I belong in the internet. And I’m hoping that I might belong here. I don’t want any hate on my page please. I want this to be a safe place for people.

Sometimes that’s one of the scariest parts about the internet. The constant headbutting from all the different minds and personalities that find their way to a keyboard. The internet is a great place to hide but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be seen. Especially since most people on the internet are looking.

Whether they’re looking for a friend, a salvation, someone to relate to or a place to belong. Almost everyone is looking for something. I just hope that I might find what I’m looking for. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, enjoy my messy rambles and chaotic nonsense.

#writing #journal #new to tumblr #writer #blog #blogger