#''unless you put on makeup because you don't even know that makeup only exists to make you attractive to men''

[littlegoldfinchh]

bed was so soft that i forgot about my anger for two hours

#then i ran into a recommended post that was written by a terf and . yeah #why was it recommended to me i have no idea. it was about anti makeup stuff like girl have you considered that #some people simply just LIKE using makeup.....? #people like this are the biggest hypocrites. like ''yeah i support women's rights and the your body your choice mentality'' #''unless you put on makeup because you don't even know that makeup only exists to make you attractive to men'' #like girl. idk this makes me agressive #rambling

[bethelighthalazia]

Last Dance?

Summary:  When your boyfriend doesn't take enough care of himself, the inevitable happens at the end of one of ATEEZ’s concerts.

Pairing: bf!Yunho x fem!reader

Word Count:  1282

Warnings: angst, injury, blood

[ AN: This was just an idea that ran through my head and was intended as oneshot. Well, here is part two: Dancing Forever. Read with caution please. <3 RE-UPLOAD from my old blog @justsomedreaming]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

The day of the concert began horribly already with you waking up to Yunho´s empty side of the bed. You know that he didn't sleep, since his side is cold and there is no dent in his pillow. He usually is not as nervous, but the night before, he already had struggled to fall asleep at all. With a sigh, you sit up in bed, sending Mingi a text, asking if he knows where your boyfriend is. Soon, your phone rings and seeing the caller id, you pick up.

“Hey Y/Nnie, Yunho is here, what’s up? He said he woke up early and wanted to let you sleep in.” Mingi said before you even could start speaking, a frown etched onto your features when you stay quiet. This silence was enough for Mingi to realize that his best friend seemingly had lied to him about that. “He wasn't home at all, right?” “Hmh, I'm worried…I think he's overworking, but he won't listen when I ask him to take breaks.” You answered him quietly, worried about your boyfriend. Hearing a shuffling through the phone, you soon realize that Mingi must have stopped Yunho from dancing and sat him down. ‘I am fine Mingi, just going over this dance again…I was home but slept on the sofa!’ You heard Yunho's voice quietly, swallowing hard and feeling guilty for not trying harder to make him take breaks or sleep. Only a few moments later, Mingi must've picked up his phone, because he said something again. “Don´t worry, he'll take a break now, I promise. See you backstage later?” He asked and you only nodded at first, quickly mumbling an ‘okay’ for him before you hung up. 

A few hours later, you arrived at the place of the concert, the security searching you before letting you in, they knew you by now, but always followed protocol strictly, which you were thankful for. Walking down the hallway, you stopped shortly before reaching the open door to their backstage room, hearing Yunho talk to his stylist as it seemed. “I already had dinner, so you can put on my makeup already, thanks. What? Oh, yeah I'm okay, just woke up early today, sorry for that.” Hearing his voice made your heart heavy, knowing that this is the voice he uses when he's hiding something. Taking a deep breath to calm down, you then stepped into the room, quickly being greeted by the boys, Wooyoung wanting to hug you, but you duck away from them with a chuckle. Their energy never bothered you, you really closed these boys in your heart. “Stop! You all, sit,” You said, putting on a scolding look and, to your surprise, they actually followed your order, except for Yunho, who already had been sitting in his makeup chair. Giving your boyfriend a short look, you frown but then turned back to the boys, revealing a box with nine donuts, one for each of the boys and one for you, all in their favorite flavors. 

After they almost ripped the box from your hands, you secured the ones for you and Yunho and walked over, deciding that it had no use to scold him. A smile on your face, you kissed the top of his head and held out the donut for him. “Hey Yuyu, here I was able to save this from the boys for you,” you chimed quietly, taking a bite of your own while he did take his donut from your hand. “Thanks jagi. Sorry for leaving early this morning…” You shook your head, signaling him that he doesn't have to apologize, you knew how hard the boys always work for their concerts, so you gave up on scolding them a long time ago now. “It's okay, you forgot your keys though. I will leave you now, so your stylist can do her job, she´s already staring daggers at me,” you joked, which made Yunho smile, giggle quietly even, before he nodded and kissed you gently. “Don´t worry, I´ll protect you from her.” 

The moment Yunho turned back to the mirror, Mingi called you to him, asking for help with something, but when you sat down on the couch next to him, you frowned. “Okay, either you want my attention, or you should go to the gym, because opening this bottle is something you also can do alone, Mings.” You said, but he laid an arm around your shoulder and smiled, making you think this might be more an act for Yunho than anything. “He looks like shit lately, Y/nnie…what´s up?” He asked and with a little sigh, you leaned your head against his shoulder, talking quietly. This exchange is nothing new for the others, they know how close you and Mingi were from the beginning, he's like a big brother to you. “I don´t know, Mings…he doesn't talk to me. It's been like this for weeks now. He ate less, didn't get much sleep and sometimes didn't even come home from practice.” You explained, letting out a deep sigh. You didn't know why your boyfriend had been so distant lately, not only to you, but also the others. “Did something happen between you guys? Or…maybe something on twitter or such stuff?” Your head tilted backwards to look up at Mingi with a confused expression, but he couldn't really answer this either. Yunho didn't tell any of the boys anything, they assumed he´d be okay. “Maybe it's the stress? This is the last concert before our vacation, maybe he is just stressed.” The taller one tried to reassure you, but the worry just doesn't go away. After a bit, it was time for the boys to go on stage and you headed to your spot in the VIP area, near the backstage exit of course. ATINY knew that you and Yunho were a couple and they welcomed you happily.

The concert went well, the boys rocked the stage like they always do and you kept cheering for them, your eyes never leaving Yunho though. You could see that his movements became more and more sloppy, as if he's losing his usual energy throughout the performances, which is not like him. No matter how long it is, Yunho never falters in his dancing, but today? It was worrying. After the last song, they stood there for the ending fairy and you already noticed that he seemed somewhat out of it, his eyes half shut and his breathing seemed staggered. 

Before they all left the stage, you already got up to hurry backstage, but then you saw it in the corner of your eyes. While the boys were walking down the little stairs, Yunho seemed to stumble, but a sudden shout let you look properly. 

Time seemed to slow down, a heavy lump in your throat when your feet moved on their own. You saw him falter in his steps before he suddenly dropped like a puppet whose strings got cut. The others didn't realize at first what was happening since he was the last to leave stage, only when Yunho´s arm fell against San who walked in front of him, they noticed that your boyfriend passed out and fell down those steps, hitting his head on the edge of the stage in the process. The last thing you saw was a bleeding wound before your sight was blocked by staff and the other members of ATEEZ.

“Yunho!” You screamed when you tried to reach them, some security men holding you back while Mingi and San carried Yunho backstage to a room and Seonghwa rushed to you, pulling you into his arms to keep you from following them, panic on everyone's faces.

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

#ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez angst #jeong yunho #kat writes <3

[mitigatedchaos]

You keep claiming there are mental differences between ethnic groups that outweigh differences within ethnic groups, yet almost never provide any sort of citation to this claim even in the form of a masterpost. Also, how do you know these alleged differences don’t go away when you take environmental factors or social class into account

You clearly don't read this blog because I have never claimed that. You should tell me who sent you here, because they and I need to have a little chat.

In the meantime, let me clear something up for you:

"Racial privilege" theory requires asserting a "correct" baseline racial ratio which the observed reality differs from in order to determine the amount of - and therefore existence of - "racial privilege."

This is at best a branch of race science and should be held to the same standards of skepticism we would apply to Charles Murray. Usually it doesn't even rise to that level, and instead we get attempts to legalize racial discrimination without having to prove that it will have any positive benefit for society.

Why does it need to be held to a higher standard? Well, can you explain why racism is wrong in the first place?

There are more complicated reasons, but the basic reason is pretty simple. It's a violation of individual justice - being punished for something someone else did, that you have no control over. (Sometimes, being punished for something that no one did.)

Even if there are differences in the number of, to make up an example, Norwegian gangsters and Italian gangsters, it would still be a violation of individual justice to punish someone who is not a gangster for 'being a gangster,' regardless of whether they are Norwegian or Italian.

Companies only have a limited amount of revenue, which means they only have a limited number of employees. Since they can't hire an indefinite number of new employees and stay in business, a demand that they change the racial composition of their workforce is a demand that some of their workforce should be fired solely on the basis of their race, something they don't control. This is a violation of individual justice.

When a post-liberal progressive says that Google is 30% Asian and calls that a "problem," what they are doing is, at best, a form of race science. Whether directly stated or not, they are asserting a "correct" racial ratio that Google differs from. (If unstated, the "correct" ratio is the point at which they would stop criticizing Google on the basis of its racial ratio.)

Unless they get the ratio of which races "should" work at Google exactly correct, innocent people will lose their jobs, putting their housing and families at risk and unfairly impoverishing them.

That sounds like a number that should be held to a higher epistemic standard than just looking at the current racial makeup of the entire US, right? At the very least you'd need to look at city, state, commuter catchment area, ratio of relevant university degrees awarded, age (racial population ratios change by age!), difficulty of project work in the degrees, and so on, and it would all have to be updated annually.

If that sounds like a lot of work, that's because it is.

Doing "race conscious" policy 'correctly' is a lot of work. It is too much fucking work. In fact it is so much fucking work that the typical outcome is just awarding a flat bonus or penalty by race - which is to say, no one actually does it correctly.

Of course they weren't going to do it correctly. "Just treat people as individuals" wasn't promoted because it's perfectly correct all the time; it was promoted because it compresses well.

Now, to clear up a second matter:

"Is it environmental causes or something else?"

Well, why do you want to know? That matters a lot, doesn't it? Are we here to pass cosmic moral judgment on ethnic groups? Or are we here to make people safer, healthier, and wealthier?

It's the wrong question. The right question is:

"What can you do to effectively improve the situation that isn't substantially immoral, particularly in a lasting way?"

Also, how do you know these alleged differences don’t go away when you take environmental factors or social class into account

Can you take that assertion and turn it into a successful program that will improve people's lives in ways that I can measure (that is, to ensure the program isn't a fake)?

If it's a vitamin pill that we can give to malnourished kids, if it's an education program that produces lasting gains that hold to adulthood, if it's a monogenic therapy we can use to cure some obscure disease - if the program actually works, then it's not my problem.

If the program doesn't work - if it doesn't reduce the number of people showing up to scream their racial feelings, if it doesn't make the polity more stable, if it doesn't improve outcomes - then what use is it?

#anons #asks #racepol

[bby-deerling]

Matchup request! Apologies in advance for the length and also thank you!:

I am a Virgo & INFP with a leaning preference for male. Not sure if I can exactly call myself a tomboy but I certainly don't put on much makeup or stylize my hair often. Just some foundation and slight brow and lip tint. You know, natural look. I do wear some perfume though, just very light floral scents. I favor wearing dark colors (and red). I also really really like dogs but cats are fine too. Like if it were ethically allowed, not harmful to the animals and not dangerous to myself, I would have a pet wolf and a pet lion. I am also a night owl.

I am the quiet type who only gets talkative when a subject of interest is brought up but otherwise, I tend to listen more than initiate conversations because I'm always afraid that I'm bothering someone (I am very afraid of accidentally offending others so I also avoid confrontations). I am so quiet in general that I often unintentionally scaring whoever's home when I walk around or approach them (yes, exactly like that one The Office meme with Dwight). I think it's because of my quiet nature that people tend to seek me for advice or just want someone to lend a ear and I try my best to help them. I can consider myself to be empathetic.

I enjoy horror fiction (namely psychological and cosmic horror) and my hobbies include playing video games and drawing while listening to music, podcasts, or streams. I really require personal alone time and prefer staying indoors. I consider myself a decent cook/baker but I absolutely LOATHE prepping so the most energy I am willing to spend are for breakfast stuff, sandwiches, ramen, easy pasta recipes, and muffins/cupcakes. I would like to sing and dance but I don't have the confidence to do so in front of others unless I am at least a bit tipsy (not that I drink often, my tolerance isn't even that high).

Some flaws I have: I am indecisive af it frustrates even me, I get easily burned out, I can't stand crowds, I'm a stress eater, and I get frequent migraine for various reasons including stress (again) and loud noises.

If I were to pick a superpower to have, I'd like to shapeshift. Like when I get annoyed, I imagine myself just growing sharp teeth and loudly snarl and snap at the air with extended, unhinged jaws. I also have recurring dreams where I can fly and it feels absolutely freeing, I think my element in the Avatar universe would be air (though I wouldn't be an air nomad cause... I need to eat meat lol). Just to give an idea of what I would be like in a fantasy-setting, when I play a RPG game, I tend to rely on speed and stealth.

thank you so so much for sending this in <3! you sound super lovely, by the way, we would mesh together well i think!

you would be a good match for...

law!

i think law would appreciate the raw beauty and practicality you carry with you! you both prefer to wear more dark and muted colors, and he would be amused (and melt a bit inside, not that he'd tell you that!) if you were to steal some of his clothes or hoodies.

you both are on the more quiet side and are good listeners, and you would enjoy a lot of comfortable silence together. words that are exchanged between you two are meaningful and potent!

he understands your need for recharging your battery with alone time; he often requires the same thing. however, he would never turn away from silently joining you and simply existing in your presence, working or resting together in parallel.

law would be extremely grateful if you shared your easy-to-make snacks with him during late nights when neither of you can sleep. the type of food doesn't matter, as long as it's not bread, and he silently appreciates these gentle gestures of care you provide him!

he also burns out easily, so he understands and helps you navigate and mitigate that. he also is stealthy, and has no qualms about helping you slip out of a stressful or overwhelming situation; chances are he probably is feeling the same way.

<3

#600 follower event #matchup #ask

[notvictims]

mikayla + appearance, because i'm incapable of deciding on a fc.

general. she's unrealistically beautiful. like, the definition of conventionally attractive, thanks to her mother. i've said it in the past, but her beauty is one of her powers, because it's able to distract opponents (temporarily, usually only a few seconds) and can also cause them to let their guard down slightly, which aids in her charmspeak. she radiates beauty regardless of the state she's in—she can be grimy, bloody, sweaty, and still look good, the way they do in the movies. she's just unnaturally beautiful, to the point she can almost be painful to look at (i say this only because hot girls hurt my heart)

height + build. she's 5'7", which is taller than her dad, because fuck him. her build is muscular, but lean. she's incredibly toned, but not like a body builder. she has light abs and you can tell she works out. (just trains, mostly) both her legs and arms have rock-solid muscles. i don't know what else to say.

skin + scars. her complexion is bronze and clear, incapable of developing any acne. the only flaws she has are her scars, which include one across her cheekbone, one on her left shoulder, a deep scar on the back of her head (hidden by hair, so nobody knows it even exists), and a scar that cuts across her right eyebrow, leaving a gash in it. when she was younger, the only time she would ever wear makeup would be to hide the scars, but she's grown out of it—she gets into enough fights that she figures she doesn't have to delve into the real source of all her scars, so it's fine.

hair. she has full + think black hair, which she keeps long and wears in large, loose curls. think k*mberly h*rt pre-chopping her hair off or ellie alves, and you've got the general idea of her hair style. she usually wears her hair down, unless she's training, in which case she'll put it in a ponytail, just to keep it out of her face. she's incapable of having a bad hair day—she literally puts no effort into doing her hair, despite it looking professionally done every day, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed.

eyes. she has light brown eyes, with flecks of gold in them. during golden hour, they almost appear gold. her eyelashes are naturally long and thick. her eyebrows, like her hair, look professionally done, but she doesn't even need to touch them. like i said above, her right eyebrow does have a slit in it, due to scarring.

mouth. she has bow-shaped lips and perfect teeth. never needed braces.

tattoos + piercings. currently no tattoos, although she's not against the idea of getting them. in fact, she wants to, because her dad hates tattoos, but she hasn't decided on anything yet. her ears are pierced, but that's about it.

preferred style of clothing. unlike most of her siblings, she's satisfied in just a t-shirt and jeans. it's most realistic for her lifestyle, because she'd rather cover a t-shirt in blood and rip it up than something more expensive. she prefers not to wear dresses, but if the occasion calls for it, she will. she doesn't wear heels, ever, because fighting monsters is unrealistic in shoes like that, so she sticks with regular sneakers. usually, white air forces or converse, because she's a basic bitch at the end of the day. so basically, her style is super casual 90% of the time, because she sees no reason to hella dress up if there's a high chance of the clothes getting ruined.

jewelry. she has her camp necklace, which is just a leather band with handmade beads on it—8 beads exactly, for each summer she's spent at camp. she doesn't really wear anything else, because she used to wear gold jewelry, but it kept breaking, so she's over trying.

#like i said: pretty privilege #her life is hard BUT... at least she just wakes up and looks like a model #must be nice to never put in any effort at all whatsoever #as long as she showers and brushes her hair she's good to go.... thats her entire routine #mikayla: headcanon. #i always love hearing which fcs people tell me remind them of mikayla though.... #usually i can See it but its still not. 100% #every time i think i settled on one i change my mind 2 days later so its better to leave it to everyone elses imagination

[baratrongirl]

Fanfiction Trope Meme

Stolen from @pigeontheoneandonly, who I don't know at all. Saw it in their blog and went "I like these questions". Rules: copy/past and bold your fic preferences and tag someone to do the same. I don't ever explicitly tag people because I don't want anyone to feel put on the spot when they could be having a bad week/month/year. I'm interested in all my friends' answers, so answer the questions if you want to.

slow burn or love at first sight. (Good question. I tend to think that love at first sight is unrealistic, because you only know what someone looks like, not who they really are. So I suppose I prefer slow burn where the affection grows as the people get to know each other.)

fake dating or secret dating. (Ugh, I like both! Though secret dating wins with Klapollo - dating in secret because Klavier's a rock star and they don't want the tabloid hassle.)

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers. (This is how my relationships have worked in real life. We've always been friends first - at least for the relationships that have actually LASTED.)

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance with correspondence. (Ack! I can't decide! *squishes Klapollo into one bed* vs LDR with Apollo in Khura'in and Klavier in Los Angeles/Tokyo?)

hurt/comfort or amnesia. (HURT/COMFORT. Finally, an easy one!)

fantasy au or modern au. (This one depends on the original setting. If it's a fantasy setting, a modern AU. If it's a modern setting, then a fantasy AU!)

mutual pining or domestic bliss. (Get it together, silly boys! Of course, I'm talking about Klapollo again. With some of my other ships, I prefer them to simply communicate and sort their relationship out.)

smut or fluff. (I like both BUT if we are simply talking about tropes in the absence of plot, I prefer Porn Without Plot to Fluff Without Plot. Fluff Without Plot leaves me feeling unfulfilled, like I ate candy floss when I wanted a meal. Fluff WITH Plot is fantastic, and I've written quite a few Teen-rated fics myself. Smut is definitely not essential for a good story.)

canon complaint or fix-it fic. (Fix-it!!)

alternate universe or future fic. (AUs are fascinating.)

one-shot or multi-chapter. (Depends on the story, of course. If it's high-quality, I can easily read 150k of fic in a night. What is this "bedtime" thing you speak of?)

kid fic or roadtrip fic. (I am not really a fan of either, but I LOATHE kid fic. Fan-created OC children make me break out in metaphorical hives. Though - I say that, and I would still absolutely love to read a story where Trucy (aged 25+) offers to be the surrogate for Klavier and Apollo, since she is Apollo's sister and has the most similar genetic makeup to him. I guess I'm more interested in the negotiations (will they accept it? Does Klavier even WANT children which are genetically his considering how Kristoph turned out?) than the actual part where a baby exists.)

reincarnation or character death. (NEVER character death, I hate it - and it's an actual squick to the point of being triggering with my main ship. Whereas reincarnation, finding each other again and again in different worlds over time - OMG I love.)

arranged marriage or accidental marriage. (Especially if accompanied by queer lawyers with legal shenanigans.)

high school romance or middle-aged romance. (Middle-aged fans demand middle-aged Blorbos! 35 is not "old", you teenage Narumitsu fans.)

time travel or isolated together. (Can't decide. As long as it's not a tragedy where they're separated by time, or where one is already a ghost while the other is alive, I don't much mind.)

neighbors or roommates. (No actual preference.)

sci-fi au or magic au. (Slight preference for magic, but only because SF is hard to write well.)

body swap or genderbend. (No preference, though I should perhaps observe that F/F Klapollo are barely any different to M/M Klapollo unless you're writing smut. Body swap, however, is hilarious because you have Mr Tall, Skinny, and Beautiful suddenly inhabiting the body of Mr Short, Buff, and Ordinary - and vice versa.)

angst or crack. (Angst with a happy ending. But I do love a good crack fic too!)

apocalyptic or mundane. (Mundane please. Apocalyptic fic stresses me out instead of being fun.)

#fanfiction tropes #fanfiction preferences #my blorbos #klavier gavin #apollo justice #klapollo #answer if you feel like it

[thelittlepalmtree]

It is insane to me how much people correlate makeup and male attention. And i'm a lesbian. But I also love make up. I'm not doing it for male attention. I'm doing it for me. I want my face to be sparkly. I don't think that's a problem. I love when i'm walking in the sun and I can see the reflection of the sparkles on my face in my glasses. My favorite ten minutes of the morning, Are the ones where I get to put make up on.

And I have always felt like this. My favorite activity is a child was dress up. I just like this shit. And I don't really feel like it has anything to do with me being a girl. Like, It's just something that I like. And i've never once liked men. Even just around me. I have always liked sparkles and never liked men. So, It's not about men.

But there are millions of people in the universe, Of all gender persuasions, Who genuinely believed the only reason you would put on Make up is to make a man think that you're hot. And I don't know how to exist on the same planet as those people. Like if you don't like make up I understand. Because if it's not your thing it's not your thing. And I know that there are a lot of women who are conditioned to feel like they have to wear makeup. So I understand resentment there But I also feel like a lot of those people are really snobby about it. Like you are not liberating all women with this take.

But the men Especially who just cannot conceive that a woman would put on makeup for herself, Or because she likes it, Or because she feels like she has to to be presentable, Those men are so out of touch. Like I have never known a woman To genuinely feel That she had a better chance with a man with make up on. Like i've never known a person Who doesn't wear make up to work, Doesn't wear make up in their daily life, But it's going to speed dating And is like Better pull out my old make up kit from claire's from when I was twelve. In my experience you either wear makeup everywhere or nowhere. It's either a part of your life or not a part of your life.

And this feels like such common knowledge to me, That It honestly makes me feel like Gender is too different spheres of existence. Like being Raised as a man must be so different. Like i'm not saying every man, But there are men out there, Who just truly do not know what it is like to be a woman. Like their brains can't even conceptualize what it's like to be a woman. It's like if I were to try to empathize with an alien being. Their experience is just so extremely different from mine. Because in order to have that belief, That women are just out here putting on make up for men, You have to be completely disassociated from women. It really means that you don't know anything about the daily life of the women you encounter. Like if your mother is a make up girlie, You either don't realize that, Or have no idea why she is that way. I mean, like I truly think that like a lot of these men just don't know what it looks like when someone wears light makeup. Because these same guys who are like women wear make up for men Literally only know what it looks like when you have like a full on face of makeup. Even if your eyelids are like teal green they won't clock it Unless you've also got like a full face of foundation. Or, Even if they can notice that women wear make up pretty much all the time If they wear it at all, They're just assuming that women are constantly trying to attract men. Even in wildly inappropriate circumstances. Do you think the women that are Walking on the street with eyeliner on are all trying to be harassed? Because I do think that they think that, But that's a Wild thing to think. For most women, Unless you are intentionally going to a place to find a partner, Like a party or a bar or a club, You're trying to avoid men even looking at you. And the fact that some men don't understand that means that they really have no idea what's going on with women at all.

All this is to say, I am just always flabbergasted By this take. Like every time I hear it, I want to take the dude by the shoulders and shake him violently until his head falls off. It's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. It's just always so shocking. I just I don't know how you experience life and are that stupid.

[astheskyisblue2]

Chapter one- Sunflowers, The Pageant

A/n: Hi guys I hope you like this chapter! Please reblog, follow and or like if you want! Just a quick trigger warning for domestic abuse and child abuse here and throughout the story!

Aria’s P.O.V.- July before Junior year

    It should be illegal to wake up early in the summer. Summers were made to sleep in, comfy in your bed, and pretend like the rest of the world didn't exist. It should be socially unacceptable for anyone to get out of bed before noon unless it is an absolute emergency. 

    Nothing important happened in the morning either. All the fun things happened at night. But if everyone had the same schedule, none of the fun things would happen at night because the fun thing about night was the peacefulness. The feeling that you are the only one in the world, and nothing you did mattered. Not really. You couldn't do anything under the watchful eye of Mother Moon that would fuck up your life entirely. As long as the only thing you wanted to do was sit up, in your window seat, draw and  listen to rock music so loud you would probably go deaf if you listened to it at that volume during the day. 

   Of course, that was just an illusion. A wistful dream of a nocturnal fifteen-year-old's mind that was being deprived of actual dreams by a criminally insane aunt who thought that it was, and should be, perfectly legal and socially acceptable to wake up at five in the morning while on vacation. 

   Not only to wake up so early, but to wake up so early to go to a beauty pageant. A beauty pageant! Beauty pageants were outdated, archaic practices meant to put women on display as if we are cattle for men to select and slaughter. 

    They were created to showcase the perfect female. Perky, thin, submissive, middle class and white. Fuck that shit. Fuck feminity. It was another way the patriarchy used to keep women in the kitchen and dependent on men. Even now when women are legally allowed to work, it's still socially frowned upon to do so after having kids and more socially frowned upon to not have kids at all. 

   God forbid, a woman want a life outside of marrying some man, who has a lot less social pressure on him just for being born with a penis, and most of them don't even treat women right. Fun fact: Did you know that women are significantly more likely to be murdered by their husband or boyfriend than any other person in their life? 

   And beauty pageants on their own were a hot spot for women and girls to be sexualized and attacked. Poor Jon Benet… Poor who knows how many like her that we would never know their names. The wrong things were socially acceptable. The wrong things were glorified, and it made me want to roll back over and sleep until three in the afternoon out of protest and spite. 

  Unfortunately, the universe had other plans for me. My endlessly energetic and aggressively morning person of a  twin sister skipped into my room. She was already dressed in a white sun dress decorated with sunflowers, a pair of wedges and an oversized straw sun hat. She was also wearing the same gold cross necklace that she wore every day. Part of me wondered if it had molded to her skin by now and that was why she never took it off.. Who even wore hats indoors? Apparently the same person who got up and dressed at, by the looks of her curls and face full of makeup, three or four in the morning with a smile on their face. I didn't even get to sleep until three or four in the morning most days! I wanted to soak up every bit of nighttime that I could. I groaned, "What do you want, Bri?" 

  Brielle giggled, "Well, Good morning to you too Sunshine!" She somehow pronounced the exclamation point. Everything she said was punctuated with an exclamation point. I think she'd vibrate with the excess energy if she tried to talk like a normal person. "I brought you a little something."She held out a can of Coco Chameleon,my favorite coffee. It was an iced coffee blended with a thick flavor of chocolate and cold brew. So it tasted delicious and had enough caffeine to keep me alive. I refused to drink the dirty water that was black coffee.

    I'm sorry but nothing can convince me that anyone actually likes black coffee, they just get a high off of feeling superior to others because they chose coffee as their hill to die on. Out of all the injustices in the world. They. Chose. Coffee. Couldn't be me. I'd take my sweet sweet sugary bean juice any day of the week. And I did. On pageant days, I needed at least two. It made me slightly shaky but at this point my bloodstream was forty percent coffee and sugar and sixty percent actual blood. "Did I mention I love you?"

    Brielle giggled, "You didn't, but I know you do. I love you too, by the way." She sat on the end of my bed and drank her green juice while I chugged my coffee like I was stranded in the desert and it was the first water I had seen in days. 

   After I had finished it, I sat up, groaned and stretched, with that amazing yawn that forced all the tired out of my body except for the little bit that hung around my eyes. I wiped the crusties out and sighed. "Alright, let's do this shit." Brielle tensed. "Oh come on, Brielle. Shit isn't even a bad word in the grand scheme of bad words." 

   "But it is a bad word and that makes it a sin. No sin is better or worse than any other sin.." She clasped her hands in her lap. So apparently cussing was as bad as murder?

  "Well that's bullshit." I mumbled, rolling my eyes. Brielle gasped. "What? What'd I say?" 

  "If you want to live on the path of sin then fine but you sure as sugar will not drag me down that path with you. Now, Aunt Meredith wants you down in twenty minutes and if you're late we're leaving without you." 

  "I'm not sure that's the threat that you think it is!" I yelled after Brielle as she left the room and stormed off down the hall. I loved her but she was a handful and a half. She acted that way because of her boyfriend's family, the Kipps. Our family was religious, sure, but their family was even more so. Our family was the type that went to church every Easter, Christmas and sometimes after a particularly bad fight. We only ever prayed before meals like Thanksgiving when my grandparents were over.

    The Kipps were the type of religious that practically ran the church. Mr. Kipp led the youth group. Mrs.Kipp and Mr. Kipp helped organize and run most of the fundraisers and outreach for the church. Mrs. Kipp spent several hours teaching and rehearsing with the church band. Brielle was the singer for said band and their son, John was the drummer. Fun Fact: Music is only a sin if it’s not about God. You can’t listen to secular music but you can make Christian covers of those same secular songs which would require listening to said secular songs. Just one of the many hypocrisies of Christianity. Of course, I would never say that to Brielle because she found so much joy in Christianity. Or she found something good in it because she devoted a lot of her time to it and it was different from the way that people would ironically watch a movie or wear a band tshirt. So, who was I to tell her not to believe in the things that made her see the world in brighter colors? That brought her green eyes to life?

      Even if I didn’t understand it or believe someone could conditionally love me unconditionally. I knew that I loved her unconditionally and maybe that was the only thing humans were meant to understand. Maybe the only thing that really mattered was our love for other humans. I didn’t know if that was fake deep or real deep. It all sounded the same in my sleep deprived brain. I needed at least ten to function properly. More reason as to why it was sadistic to make me wake up at five in the morning when I had only managed to get about an hour. 

  Brielle prayed before every meal even if we didn't pray with her. She went to every service. She sang in the church band. She carried mini bibles and promotional bookmarks in her purse in case she saw someone “God told her to” give it to. Between Church, cheer, pageants and school, she barely had time to sleep and eat but it seemed to give her the type of peace I only got from coffee or music.

      I knew that they wouldn't ever actually leave without me. I couldn't ever be that lucky. So, I threw my sheets off and started going through my closet to put an outfit together.

       “What was that about?” I jumped. I hadn’t seen Grace in my doorway. 

      “Jesus Christ, Grace. You fuckin’ scared me.” 

        “Oh so that was what it was about.” She sat on my bed and wrapped my blanket around her shoulders. 

   “Yep. Which shirt should I wear?” I pulled two out of my closet. 

       “You’re kidding me, right?” 

         “What?”

        “They’re the same shirt.” 

         “Uh, no they’re not.”

    “They’re both band shirts.” 

  “So? Band shirts are incredible.”

   “Well of course you think that, all you ever wear is band shirts.” 

    “That’s not true.” I put one of the shirts back in the closet and pulled on my Welcome to the Black Parade one. I had two copies of this shirt because I loved it so much. Then I started brushing my hair up into a high ponytail. I didn’t feel like wearing it down, I would look too much like all the girls who were actually competing. Except, of course, most of them were taller than me. I was a very petite five-foot-two and it was the reason I would always be taken as a newborn kit when I was trying to be a fierce Lioness.  The “I could kick your ass” vibe wasn’t as easily achieved and not nearly as scary when you were a pipsqueak like me.

    Grace handed me her thick makeup bag. “Here.” I wish I didn’t have to wear makeup but it was one of Aunt Meredith’s ridiculous rules that I didn’t give enough of a shit about to fight her on. Especially not on pageant days.  She was a special kind of intense on pageant days, at least the season was almost over. This pageant would be our last one for the year, and it was only one day instead of the usual full weekend. 

   There were rules that I pushed back on. Out of the three of us, I was the most outwardly rebellious child. I was the only one that was begrudgingly allowed not to compete in pageants. That was because, as the clever and mischievous child I was before I became the clever and mischievous teenager I am, I had sabotaged the pageants. It never seemed to be on purpose.  A forgotten lyric in the talent portion, or going shy during interviews, or putting my dress on backwards or unzipping it for the actual beauty portion of the beauty pageant. Which by the name, should be the entire thing. In fact, in a beauty pageant in its original form, that was all it was. The talent and interview portion were added in a performative action to make beauty pageants more feminist, before feminism was a colloquial term. 

   I know that I just said I should let people enjoy things even if I didn’t completely understand them but there was a huge difference between religion and beauty pageants, even if I believed the message behind them for women was pretty much the same and spoke to bigger problems in society that I as a fifteen-year-old girl who couldn’t even vote yet was powerless to change. I didn’t have a lot of control over anything so I rebelled and listened to loud and angry music. Mostly of men and the occasional woman, like Halestorm, screaming about how fucked up the world was because it made me feel a little less voiceless even though it didn’t really make an impact on anything except my insides but anything that made me not want to peel my skin apart made an impact on me and maybe that was all I could do. Maybe the only person I would ever make a difference on was me. Maybe my legacy would die with me, and maybe that was okay. Besides, beauty pageants were keeping me from sleeping and religion wasn’t, so I knew which one I considered to be public enemy number one. 

   I dabbed a bit of concealer on the deep purple rings that underlined my tired emerald green eyes and applied a bit of mascara. The mascara really made my eyes pop. I hated myself for saying that because it meant that one of Aunt Meredith’s opinions held even the tiniest bit of weight. So, out of spite, I zipped Grace’s makeup bag back up and handed it back to her without applying lip gloss. “Thanks.” I pulled on my thrifted leather jacket that was starting to peel from old age and overuse, I wore it everyday no matter the weather. It had gotten to a point where I didn’t feel like myself unless I was wearing it. So I guess I understood Brielle’s obsession with her necklace at least on that level.

   “Grace! Aria! Get your butts down here!” Aunt Meredith screeched. 

    “Coming!” I groaned and tied my black converse, my Doc Martins hadn’t come in the mail yet and it was too hot to wear them and a leather jacket in the middle of the summer anyway. Wearing a leather jacket was pushing it but there was no way I was going out without my baby.

   “I swear that’s like your emotional support blankie.” 

    “Shut up.” I bumped Grace with my shoulder and slung my bulging backpack over my shoulder.

       Aunt Meredith fussed with Brielle once they were in clear view. “Brielle darling, you look beautiful.” 

  “Thank you Auntie.” 

    “But there’s something off.” She tapped a finger on her lips and inspected Brielle’s outfit. “It’s the hat!” She plucked it off her head with both hands. I’m not kidding. She had to use both hands.. It was that big. “There, that looks a lot better. You have to keep your head clear for when you leave wearing a crown.” There was no point in her saying that other than to make Grace feel bad. Brielle probably wouldn’t even be wearing that same outfit by the time we left that night. There were a lot of outfit changes. That was kind of their main shtick. Aunt Meredith knew this. She had been taking me and Brielle to pageants since we were three and dragging Grace to them even longer. There was a time, now only remembered through photographs, where Grace was her star, but somewhere along the line, I don’t remember when Grace started having to battle to even be seen. “You look beautiful, Brielle. A future Miss America.”

  Brielle blushed and looked down at her feet. At least she had the common sense to be slightly ashamed. “Thank you, Auntie.” 

   “How do I look, mother?” Grace asked, apparently feeling brave that day. She was wearing a red off-the-shoulder shirt, dark blue jeans with a brown belt and matching brown boots. Her hair was curled too. I think that she tried to copy the way Brielle wore her hair but it didn’t go as planned. Most of the curls had come undone, but it worked. Her light chestnut brown hair was straight with a gentle wave to the ends. Her makeup was gentle, at least for her. I could still see the light dust of freckles across her cheeks, and instead of a striking lipstick, she was wearing a thick layer of gloss. She had clearly put a lot of effort into her outfit and I thought that she looked beautiful. 

  Aunt Meredith just ignored her, as she usually did. “What time do we have to leave?”

  Grace must’ve been feeling really brave that day because she repeated herself, “How do I look, mother?” 

  “You’re so rude. Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a conversation?”

   “Okay.” She let out a sigh of defeat.

   “You look beautiful.” I said, sincerely.

    She rolled her eyes, “I wasn’t asking you.” 

    “I know.” I didn’t fire something back because I could see the hurt in her eyes. She didn’t need me mocking her for it. 

    “We need to load up the car anyway. Come on.” And by we, she meant me. Why couldn’t she and Brielle have done it? They were down here for twenty minutes before we came down. Brielle had given me a Coco Chameleon so they had gone to the store already too! We weren’t allowed to keep Coco Chameleon in the house in case it spilled and poisoned their precious green juice. But no, it had to be me. Every. Single. Time. I sighed and went to pick up the things by the door. A black metal box filled with hair and makeup supplies, several separate outfit bags, and Brielle’s baton.

   “Here, you need help?” Grace asked but  she was already picking up the bags.  Aunt Meredith and Bri had already gone out to the car.

   As the sun rose, we drove through the sleeping city to the pageant.

   The first portion of the pageant that day was Talent. “Can someone help me zip my dress?” Grace asked, struggling to push her hands to the zipper of her red floor-length gown. 

  “Relax, come here.” I held my hands out and she turned around, sucking in as I zipped it up.

   The dressing room, Aunt Meredith had paid extra to make sure we had a private one, was flooded with generic patriot music. Brielle flung herself across the floor, she was a flash of red, white and blue. She jumped and contorted herself while Aunt Meredith yelled out commands and the occasional compliment. 

    Grace lined her lips with red and twisted her hair into a braid. I handed her her belt box. A belt box was a small oddly shaped box that molded to her mouth and muffled her voice as she warmed up. Fifteen minutes later, Grace was called to the stage. On our way out of the dressing room, Aunt Meredith decided to share some of her oh so desirable wisdom, “Shoot for second place!” I’d say that she was just a bitch who had never mentally made it out of her teenage years but Grace and I were both still in our teenage years and we would never act like that. So, there really was no excuse for that. I wanted to punch her in the face to deliver some karma for her actions but I knew that that would only make her feel like she was the victim. So, with the little impulse control my sleep deprived brain would allow me, I put my hand on Grace’s back and led her out of the room and into the wings. As we stood there, I could feel a gentle shaking.

   “Grace… Are you crying?” 

  “No. I just don’t get why Brielle is some great saint. I mean, she’s not even that pretty.”

   “Oookay…”

“I didn’t mean you.”

“Brielle and I literally have the same face.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a bitch.”

“And Brielle is?”

“No…. Why do you always have to take her side?”

“I’m not taking her side.”

  It became more obvious that Grace was in fact crying.  “I’m sorry. I’m just so tired. So, so tired.” I would’ve offered to find her some coffee but I had a feeling it wasn’t the type of tired that coffee could fix.

  She turned around and I hugged her, gently stroking her hair.  “I’ll never be good enough for her, will I?” 

 I sighed and kept stroking her hair, “No. No hon, you probably won’t be.” Grace started crying harder into my chest. Yikes, I could’ve said that a lot more gently but it was the truth.

 “I just want to be what she wants. She’s my mother… why can’t I just be good enough for her?”

  “Because she’s a narcissistic bitch, and that’s not your fault. You can’t control her and… you can’t change that. But you know what you can do?” 

  “What?” Grace sniffled. 

   “You can wipe your tears, fix your posture, go out there and prove her wrong. Do it for yourself, okay?” 

 Grace wiped her eyes, “Okay. I’ll do it for us.” 

  I smiled and let her go. “I know you will.” 

  And she did, I knew she’d won even before the award ceremony. I waited in the audience next to Aunt Meredith. She was wearing an excessively flashy outfit. A bright red dress, rhinestone dangle earrings that looked like mini chandeliers  and a thick black and white pearl necklace.  All she needed was a thick white coat and she would look like Cruella Deville, except Cruella Deville was less evil. 

 “Thank you all for coming to DalesVille’s Annual Sweethearts Pageant. We have a lot of beautiful and talented young ladies here today and it was so hard to pick the winner. We wish we could give all of you a crown! But unfortunately, there can only be one winner per age category. Now let’s get on to the awards.”  Grace and Brielle’s age category was the last.

  “Second Runner-up is Cornelia Nottingham.” I held my breath, “First runner-up is Brielle Summers.” I let it go, smiling a justly smug smile. “And finally, Miss Teen Sweetheart is… Grace Roberts!”

   I jumped up and screamed. Aunt Meredith grabbed me by the wrist so hard I thought she was going to crush it. “Sit down and act like a lady!” She hissed at me through gritted teeth and dragged me down to my seat. 

   When she let go, there were red marks from her nails. “Jesus Christ…” My face burned with the heat of her anger in a way that told me she would’ve slapped me had we been alone. Little did she know, I would’ve slapped her back.

    Grace ran off the stage and hugged me. She had this expression of hope on her face that I hadn’t seen since we were kids. The sparkling crown on her head was reflected by the light in her eyes. “Did you see that? I did it!”

  “You did! Hell yeah you did! I’m so proud of you.” 

  “I’m going to check with the judges. There has to be some sort of mistake. My little Brielle has never lost a pageant to anyone.” This, of course, was a lie. But whatever helped her sleep at night. Aunt Meredith stormed off. 

 “Ignore her. These judges actually had a brain in their heads. You deserved to win, Grace. That was the best I've ever seen you perform.” 

    “You really mean that?”

    “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

     “Pinky Promise?” 

     I laughed, “You’re such a child.” But I held out my pinky to her anyway. 

  Brielle with her smaller crown, ran past our aisle and into the arms of her beloved John. Of course John was here. He picked her up and swung her around, then they kissed. They were that annoying, overly romantic couple. 

  “I wonder if they know they aren’t actually in a cheesy romance movie.” 

  Grace shrugged, “You know, it would usually bother me but I’m in too good of a mood for their dramatics to ruin it. I’m just glad she’s happy. John’s a really good guy.” 

  John handed Brielle a blue bouquet of sunflowers and some blue flowers. I didn’t know what type but I guess that didn’t matter. “Yeah, I guess he is.” They’d been dating for years and Brielle still blushed every time he did something romantic for her. 

  Aunt Meredith sashayed back over to us, her nose up in the air. “Don’t go getting cocky over your win. It was only by half a point and I’m sure that was a calculation error. You had lipstick on your teeth.” 

  “No, no you didn’t.” I said, thoroughly rolling my eyes at Aunt Meredith.

  “Well, maybe we should get your eyes checked.” 

   “They’re fine. Trust me.” 

    Aunt Meredith kept her teeth clenched. “Listen, young lady. It is one thing to not have even an ounce of taste but it is another thing entirely to blatantly disrespect me.” 

   “Oh, like you blatantly disrespect Grace? All. The. Fucking. Time?”

    “It’s not like that.”

    “No, you’re right. It isn’t the same thing because you’re the mother. You’re supposed to be above all this but instead you screw her over time and again.” 

  “Aria.” Grace put a hand on my arm but I shrugged it off. 

     “No, no I’m sorry but why the fuck do you think it’s okay? Do you not see the effect you have on Grace? On Brielle even? Why do you feel the need to bully teenage girls? Is it because you’re so deeply insecure that you can’t see people prettier than you without hating them for being that way? Maybe it’s not that they’re pretty at all, even though they’re fucking beautiful, maybe it’s that they’re actual human beings while you are proof that the devil exists.” I was met with a slap across the face so hard I blacked out for a second. 

   “Do not disrespect me, you ungrateful brat! I didn’t have to take you and your sister in but I did. And I can throw you out!” Everyone left at the pageant was staring at us by then. Brielle and John had snuck out. Good, I didn’t want her to hear the way Aunt Meredith spoke about us. She still had faith in the world, and the goodness of people and I’d be damned if I let someone take that away. I held my cheek, glaring at her. That was going to leave a bruise. Aunt Meredith flushed, looking at all the onlookers. “Carry on.” She dragged me out by my arm and Grace followed along. 

   The car ride was silent, Aunt Meredith didn’t even turn the radio on. So, I popped my headphones in and played  Second Chance by Shinedown on loop as I watched the sun go to sleep. It was my favorite song for when I needed to be somewhere else for a while. It was the best song to daydream about running away to and nothing could change my mind.  

          Brielle texted Aunt Meredith to say that she was going to the church lock-in. It was a youth group only event. Who wanted to spend the night in an old creepy church anyway? It was probably haunted. I didn’t see how it couldn’t be. There were two places on this earth that were definitely haunted: Hospitals and Church. Too much life went on in those places for them not to be. As much as I loved the Paranormal, I had no desire to actually see a ghost.

  Grace was still beaming by the time that we pulled into the driveway. She ran inside with her award. “Dad! Dad! Guess what?”

    Uncle Chris turned from the stove to his daughter. Bentley, our pitbull, was circling his feet in search of scraps. “What, Pumpkin?”

  “I won! I won!” 

  Uncle Chris hugged her, kissing the side of her head. His eyes had lit up in the same way hers did. For the most part, Grace took after her mother physically. So it was cute to watch their similarities. “That’s wonderful, Sweetheart. Congratulations.” 

  “Thanks dad.”

   “Do you want to do anything to celebrate?” 

  “Can we make cookies?” 

 “Absolutely not, you know the rules: No Junk Food of any kind during pageant season.” Aunt Meredith’s heels clicked across the floor as she joined us in the kitchen.

 “Come on, Mer. It’s just a few cookies. Don’t you want to celebrate our daughter?” 

  Aunt Meredith scoffed, “ Of course I-don’t undermine me in front of the children, Christopher. The answer is no.” She turned to Grace, “We can’t have you gaining any more weight. Then you won’t fit into your dress.” 

 “Don’t talk to our daughter like that, Meredith. Her weight is fine. She’s fifteen! She deserves to be a kid while she still is one.”

 It was like a shift in the air, something woke up in our monkey brains and we ran up the stairs, Bentley followed at our heels. 

#writing #queer writers #writers on tumblr #creative writing #writeblr #writing community #Sky's writing

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠❞ ─ 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐦

after all this time, i start asking why i'm staying

were you ever mine?

are we something that's worth saving?

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, happy ending

❥ warnings ; cursing, themes of cheating

❥ synopsis ; you're will's s/o. when he comes home from work, you can tell he's off. what you didn't expect was him to kick you out.

❥ a/n ; none!

"Will?"

You call out after hearing the front door to your house open and shut. When you don't get a response, you get up from your laying position on the couch and approach the front door.

There, Will stood. His back was turned to you as he hung up his coat, and although you could not see his face, you could immediately tell he was off. Even the energy around him felt dark and tense.

"Oh, hey, hun.." You said anxiously, trying not to set him off in any way.

Will didn't react to your voice. Instead, he backed away from the clothing rack and walked past you, not even bothering to spare you a look. This wasn't the first time Will acted out like this, especially considering he was exhausted all the time from the work Crawford gave him. But he would at least greet you soon as he walked through the door, not flat out treat you as if you didn't exist.

"Will," you sighed dejectedly, more to yourself than to your boyfriend. You quietly followed him upstairs to the master bedroom, where he began to strip off his work clothes, changing into something more comfortable. Still, he ignored your presence. You had to make another move.

You slowly approached him from behind, placing your hands on his shoulders. You were immediately taken back when he forcefully removed himself from your touch and walked away to another corner of the room.

"Will, I just-"

"What?" he scoffed mockingly, "You just want to help?"

"You're my boyfriend, Will, of course I want to!"

He laughed.

"It certainly doesn't help when you breathe down my neck every fucking minute."

Tears pricked in your eyes, Will's vicious tone scaring you. You searched Will's own eyes, trying to find any trace of remorse or regret. He had none. You didn't even know who you were looking at.

"What are you talking about, Will? When you want space, I give you space. When you want love, I give you love! What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to leave."

And then it was quiet for a moment. You both stood there silently, feet away from each other, eyes burning holes into the others.

"..What?" You stared in disbelief. "Wh- What are you saying right now, Will?"

"I want you to leave. I want you gone, Y/N. I don't need you anymore."

"No," you bit your quivering lips, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Will averted his stare from your crying form, the floor suddenly becoming more interesting.

"No, you're lying. You're just saying that. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Lies. "It's best if you just leave."

You choked on a sob. "What?! Where is this coming from all of a sudden? We were okay just the other day!"

Will remained silent, still not daring to make eye contact with you.

"Is there someone else?"

"I- No, Y/N. I don't owe you an explanation."

"So this is it, then? You're just gonna kick me out?"

"Please, Y/N. Don't make this harder than it already is."

"This is hard for you?! You're not the one getting kicked out!"

Will sighed, somehow managing to remain calm while you screamed at him.

"I'm sorry." And the conversation ended there.

You began to pack your bags. You also phoned a friend, asking them if you could crash for a bit until you had a stable job and a home. You were not about to sleep on the sofa tonight.

You opened and slammed drawers, taking your anger out on furniture as you took your belongings with you. You also did it to spite Will, who attempted to get some sleep. But he did not complain. He continued to act as if you didn't exist.

It made you wonder. Where did it all go wrong? How long has he thought about leaving you? Was there another person?

Will wouldn't answer your questions. At this point, you didn't wanna know.

You were able to finish packing up within an hour. Will was still wide awake during that time, listening closely to the angry banging of furniture, quiet sniffles and shaky inhales as you tried the best you could to keep your composure.

You loaded all your bags into your car, getting ready to head to your friend's place. You went back inside to get a couple more things and look around the house a final time. You stopped by the front door as you were about to leave, your eyes landing on a picture on the windowsill of you and Will. Your already tired, red eyes welled with tears again. You opened up the frame, sliding the picture out and folding it into your pocket. Not like Will would want it in his house anyway.

And so you left.

You didn't say your goodbyes. You just left.

A week had gone by. Will carried on with his job as usual, attended his therapy sessions, but he never once mentioned you. Not a lot of people knew about you and Will's relationship, or what was once a relationship. Since his coworkers already knew so much, or what Will deemed to be enough information about him, he wanted to keep your relationship secret. Not that you minded.

The only person who knew of your relationship was Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford, but even when it ended, he didn't tell them anything. He didn't tell them how guilty he felt the night he kicked you out. He didn't tell them he still had nightmares about you being harmed. He didn't tell them how he was the one harming you in his nightmares. He didn't tell them how empty he felt when you blocked his number and social medias (ok sorry but like little headcanon here?? will has an instagram and it's just pictures of him fishing / or of his dogs fnsmdnskdjsk).

He never told them how he tried not to stay in his house as often, because it reminded him of you.

He was definitely acting strange at work. It was easy to tell. Even Bev pulled him aside to inquire about his health. But he continued to keep his mouth shut, until he couldn't.

Will rushed to the front door when he heard little taps on the metal screen. Secretly, he hoped it would be you. But when he opened it, there stood Alana Bloom. Will always thought Alana was beautiful. But how could anyone disagree?

Her long, dark waves that framed her perfect, slim face were never unchecked and unkempt. Makeup or none, preppy work uniforms or pajamas, she always seemed to look her best.

You even found yourself feeling small and insecure when Will invited her over for you to meet. But he assured you that she could never even compare to you. You believed it.

Alana's thin lips curled up into a soft smile. "Will. Can I come in?"

"Y-Yeah, sure." He let her in and she walked through the front door for the first time in forever.

"Jeez," she chuckled. "How long as it been?"

"Maybe too long," Will simply replied.

Alana walked around the house, scanning every detail while Will patiently trailed behind her. The dogs were playing outside, so it was just the two of them.

"Why did you decide to come over today?"

"I've been worried about you." She turned around to face Will, who stopped a few feet in front of her. "But now that I'm here in your house, I can see why you've been acting off."

"What's your diagnosis, Doctor?" Will joked, an attempt at lightening the tense air.

"Y/N. They left, haven't they?"

There it is.

Technically, Alana wasn't wrong. You did leave, but Will never clarified in what circumstance.

Will looked at the ground.

"Yeah.. Took all the photos too."

"Hey," Alana began, her finger resting under Will's chin, prompting him to look up at her. "You don't have to hide from me."

A week had gone by. A long, lonely, miserable week. You crashed at your friend's for two nights before your parents invited you to live with them while you worked on getting back on your feet. They didn't live too far, so you thanked your friend for their hospitality and moved in with your parents.

As you finished unpacking your stuff, you realized you were missing some things. You cursed at the realization you would probably have to pick up some stuff from Will's.

You still had the key, so you would have no problem getting in, unless he had the lock changed of course. You were only worried about running into him.

What the hell?

You got dressed. You didn't wear anything fancy, but in case you ran into Will, you felt obligated to look presentable and show him that you could still make it without him. You decided on doing a bit of makeup. Again, nothing fancy. Just enough to conceal the dark circles under your eyes and make your features pop.

And then you headed on the dreadful drive to Will's place.

When you got there, you were too nervous and too focused on making the trip quick to even notice Alana's car in his driveway.

However, what did catch your attention, were the many dogs Will owned. They ran up to you as soon as they recognized you. They panted as they jumped and wagged their tails, expressing their happiness the most they could. You tried your best to pet them all, your mouth lifting up into a smile. You didn't realize it but you really missed the dogs.

You dug around for the key in your pocket and pulled it out, quietly unlocking the front door and letting yourself in.

"You don't have the hide from me.."

Your eyebrows furrowed together at the sound of a female voice.

When you walked into the living room, you were horrified to see Will with another woman. Alana.

Their lips were locked, engaging in a passionate kiss, not even noticing your presence. You felt sick as you put the pieces together.

"Now I know why you kicked me out," you whispered, half to yourself and half to Will, who almost about pushed Alana off him at the sound of your voice.

Both their cheeks heated up in embarrassment when their eyes fell on you.

"Y/N! I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"Look, I only came to pick up some stuff. Then I'll be out of your way." You didn't once look away from Will, deciding to totally disregard Alana's presence and apologetic mutters.

With that, you rushed out of the living room and into your bedroom, searching under the bed and in the closet for your missing items.

You heard faint talking from the living room but tuned out most of it, deciding it wasn't worth your time or even your business in the first place. Then you heard the front door shut and a car start from outside.

Before you could process what might've happened, you heard Will's footsteps stop outside the bedroom.

"Y/N, we should talk."

"No, we shouldn't."

"You blocked my number."

"What good would it do if I kept it?"

"Please, hear me out."

Disgruntled, you turned to face Will, sending a cold glare his way.

"Look, unless you found a way to make a time machine and give me back the time I wasted on you, I don't want to speak with you."

"Why won't you just listen to me?!" he snapped.

You scoffed, "Well surprise, douchebag, I have feelings and you hurt them!"

"Well, I'm sorry, alright?" he calmed down now.

"Are you? Really?" You shook your head. "A sorry won't fix this, Will. Not after what you did. Gods- I can't even look at you right now."

You laughed. "You know what fucking sucks? After all you did, after the cheating and the lies, I'm still in love with you."

Will teared up. "I was never with Alana, Y/N. It's always been you."

"Then, why, Will? Why did you throw me out so coldly like that?"

"I began to have dreams, Y/N. Nightmares," Will admitted, his voice beginning to break. "Nightmares about people hurting you. Criminals. It was too real. As much as I loved- As much as I love you, I never wanted you to choose me. I don't want people using you as a weapon against me. To hurt me."

You slowly walked towards Will, stopping a foot away from him. You looked up into his glossy bambi eyes as he spoke.

"It was when the nightmares got worse, when I was the one hurting you, that I realized you weren't safe with me."

You cried. "Oh, Will. I wish you had told me."

"I couldn't. I didn't want you to remember me that way."

You laughed. "Well, I ended up remembering you as the asshole who kicked me out, instead."

Will managed to give you a smile through his tears.

He brought his hand to your shoulder, and gently lead it up your neck to the side of your face, cupping it lightly and brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"I would never hurt you, Y/N."

"I know. I know, Will. You aren't a monster for having nightmares you can't control." You brought your own hand up and placed it against Will's, leaning into his warm touch. "I'm still here. I'm alive. In your hands. And I feel safe with you."

Almost hesitantly, Will leaned in, connecting his lips to yours. His body felt tense, but when you kissed him back, you felt his worries disappear into the air.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

"Stay with me tonight?"

#will graham x reader #will graham fluff #will graham angst #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal tv show #hannibal gifs #will graham gifs #will graham oneshot #will graham imagines #rattyoakenbitch #alana bloom #angsty #hannibal fandom #hannibal fanfiction #beach bunny #lyric prompts

[deleteddewewted]

Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”

To keep busy I just thought that a oneshot of Shinsou getting self conscious/needy would be cute since we already have his redemption arc rolling in. The next part of the Incel!Shinsou series (Part 3) will have him proving his worth at the Sports Festival. So in thinking of how he will prove himself to you I thought of how will all of those people affect him, especially you. ( This oneshot takes place pre changes, so Shinsou is still his disgusting self but he's figuring out how to woo a woman, especially of your caliber.)

Incel!Shinsou Series:

Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Incel!Shinsou Headcanons

"I know what you're doin' here. Made your intentions clear. Oh you, you terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Beautiful thing"

TW: Strong Language, Mild Sexism

People were never an obstacle when it came to the things Shinsou wanted. He’s aware that others would do anything for him if he played his cards right. The right words with the right question did wonders for him. So why the fuck couldn’t he have what he wanted when it came to you? You drove him up the wall with the kindness you showed him. He didn’t deserve it and you’re existence almost felt like a punishment from whatever deity that existed out there to make him suffer. You guys were suppose to be studying for your upcoming project that required a poster, a slide show, and one influential person that would help prove your projects point. You left him running circles within his own mind as to how you were so willing to challenge him. He wanted you to obey him not see through his bullshit. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to him vent, or didn't give him attention, but he wanted to hold you under his control. To be the person you listened to.

In class you where both seated on the extreme ends of the room on opposite sides. You never realized this (you do), but his head would periodically turn towards your direction to look at you, to figure you out (liar). This time, you managed to catch him do it.

“What are you doing?” You asked plainly. You honestly didn’t care that he was staring, everyone does when you dress like you're attending an MCR concert in the middle of autumn.

“You look different....today.”

“Nice.” It was difficult to care. Shinsou was just some guy in your class that you had to deal with. Nothing special really....ok, maybe it wasn’t fully true. You didn’t really know him all that well or anything (Unless it was mocking and belittling everything you did, that was normal behavior for him so it wasn’t surprising to find out he was like that outside of campus.) but he wasn’t all that bad? If he cared for himself a bit more, hygiene wise he would be considered handsome or at least a competent human being (you weren't going to call him a man, men don't act this childish. At least the ones you knew.) Maybe then you would take his opinion seriously, but for now you’ll ignore his...interesting comments he's been throwing towards you today.

“It’s rude to ignore someone when their talking to you, you know?” The neutral face he had now possessed a frown and a furrow to his brows. You still couldn’t process how he took the time to make sure his hair stayed purple but didn’t care for his body odor. (This man dyes his hair purple yet cant bother to shower or use deodorant for once in his life.)

“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just not interested in anything you have to say.” With that you get up and take your things and leave. There was no point in wasting time on someone who couldn’t even look at you directly and had to also sneak glances at you. "Do I really look that unbearable?" you thought to yourself. In the end you didn’t care anymore, everyone was entitled to an opinion and the last thing you need is feeling self conscious because of your out of place classmate.

Shinsou was fuming. How the fuck did you just get up and leave his ass while he was trying to complement you. You should have been more appreciative that he was giving you his attention for once. A bitch like you wasn't even worth it so he doesn't understand why he even tried with you.

He never goes directly home after school but instead to the local theater. It was one of the few places where he could be around others and could genuinely be himself. It was weird, he didn't feel like himself when he was speaking with his "friends", friends that he's never spoken to verbally, never seen, and never would meet. He knew that he didn't deserve this, to have a safe haven when he acts like an ass, yet here he was.

"Good morning Shinsou! How are you? Are you ready for rehearsals? You did remember to read your lines, right?" Shinsou rolls his eyes at his theater mates antics. Monoma never seems to stop but he does know when to tone it down and when it comes to Shinsou he tones it down a bit. (Because Monoma is canonically considerate of others, look back the Sports Festival and the Joint Training Arc.)

"Im good man, yes i did read and memorized the script, dont worry about it." What an odd friendship, the most chaotic gentleman like man out the bunch with the quietist incel in the group. Shinsou should have seen it coming when he was adopted by Monoma but he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep so he doesn't really care.

Believe it or not Shinsou does take showers (only for theater) but very quickly and with no care (no shampoo or soap, fucking why man.) Theater means more to him and so making his character look the best they possible can was his first and foremost priority. He puts on his costume, gets to makeup (the minimum, because it's "gay" for him to wear makeup and since the world is unfair and cruel he has perfect skin for a greasy headed asshole.)

"Everyone get a move on! Kodai, Tsuburaba, and Awase! Go to stage left! Light techs, how's it up there?" One of the tech heads shouted out. Shinsou and Monoma got to their positions on the stage and the rehearsals began.

Love, the play was about love. Love that wasn't rejected but also not accepted. He didn't understand the concept fully. Was it romantic? Platonic? Familiar? Admiration? He loved his dad, but he mostly admired him. He worked long hours and middle resents him for not being there for him, yet he realizes that his dad works to give him the world, a home with all the things he wanted. He never had a mother so he never had parental or familiar, again his dad was there but he wanted a parent that would hold him when he came back from school everyday. He didn't have a girlfriend, so he doesn't know romantic. So far all of his characters where villains, or evil in some way. He was starting to get sick of them. Shinsou wanted something more, wanted to play a character that wasn't how everyone saw him as on his day to day life. He wanted a challenge, he wanted....affection. Just to show it. He wanted attraction. Just to abuse it. He wanted...love. To just...maybe...feel...enjoy...understand it.

"You terrible thing you. My love, you're so cold. You've left me hanging on every one of your words. You've made me loose my self, lose my self-control because of you!" He pours everything into his performance, his loneliness, his regrets, his experience. He's been told by his co-performers and directors that he has a great future in the arts, in theater. If he just took care of himself more he would be an amazing actor, not only incredibly talented but also attractive. He would have the world kneeling, bowing to him just from his words alone. He could have anything he wanted just because of his existence.

" You've made me do things i don't want to do...for you." Kodai stands there looking horrified. He's covered in blood, the blood of her lover, the one she left him for.

"No, i-i didn't-"

"YOU MADE ME-MADE DO THIS FOR YOU! You terrible, terrible, terrible thing! You beautiful thing, I've done this for you!...and you still cant and won't love me." He doesn't see Kodai anymore. It's not her face he sees, nor her voice that he hears.

Its you...its your voice. You. You looking back at him while he slowly lowered himself to kneel and crawl towards you. It's you who backs away from him as he starts to cry and hiccup.

"You wreck me, you made me. You leave me in your wake, please let me go!" He sees you and feels you grabbing his wrists back, pushing him into himself.

"Don't you ever let me go...."

You terrible beautiful thing, you.

And here we are again. This was a lot fun to write since it feels more concrete when it comes towards his personality and his full thought process. In many cases people like Shinsou just want attention or some sense of validation, which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but it's more about the manner you go about it. You shouldn't pressure or force others to spend time with you, but there is always someone out there that will like to give you those things.

Tag list: @blossominglark

#bnha #mha #shinso x reader #shinsou #shinsou x reader #my hero academia #mha angst #sad fic #fanfiction #incel shinsou #incelshinso #shinso is a dick #alt #enemies to lovers #shinsou hcs #mha shinsou #bnha shinso hitoshi #shinso hitoshi #my hero academia shinsou #mha headcanons #hitoshi shinsou #shinso x y/n #shinsou x y/n #shinso hitoshi x reader

[toasty-bat]

Ok this was going on too long to be put in replies so here we are. Tramp Stamp, the "pop rock" "band".

Okay so. The members. Marissa Maino, has released a few EPs in the past, as has the guitarist Caroline Baker. The drummer, Paige Blue, is a songwriter with a couple of published songs.

However, for each member their former music and style was COMPLETELY different to how they make music now. Sure, styles can change, but this much this quickly? They each apparently spontaneously dyed their hair similarly neon colours at around the same time, before even forming the band.

Their music is also weird. It's like Blink-182 of it was modernized and then diluted down to buzzwords only. It's also clearly supposed to be the sort of "riot girl feminist" stuff seen in pop punk in the early 2000s - except again, it's diluted and "off". Their lyrics all sound like something specifically crafted to appeal to Tumblr users and young people on TikTok, and it seems to bank on the idea that because the target is young, they won't really remember late-90s to early-2000s pop rock and so won't know why they sound "off".

The band has barely started existing, but despite having no sold songs or EPs or albums under their belt, they already have stan accounts, a well-established website, and well-designed merchandise at high prices. Not something a brand new normal band does.

They're VERY defensive whenever they're criticized for anything. Recently they were called out for stealing their name from another band, @/thetrampstamps-blog (these guys are real), to which they responded "we don't like white cis men!!". It was quickly pointed out that every member of their ""band"" is cis, and white.

Everything about them seems manufactured. Their brand-new instagram is full of clearly professionally taken shots in studio lighting with full professional makeup and hair (not necessarily weird for a band....unless that band was created less than a month ago and hasn't even released a debut EP yet). They regularly use outdated slang and act like when old people write teenage characters - for example, one of their TikTok songs contains lines like "Tumblr girl, sk8ter boy", "I'd rather die than hook up with a straight white guy" (????) and "it's some major fuckin tea".

Their lyrics and captions may sound plausible when they're separate, but when it's all put together it reads like an AI-generated Buzzfeed article about current youth trends.

Their website claims their music is "the kind of stuff women talk about with their friends, but no one has ever put it into this kind of music before" (this is apparently a quote from one of the band members.) I'm sorry, nobody has ever done this before? Doesn't your band claim to take direct influence from early-2000s feminist punk scenes?? Have you ever listened to a feminist punk band before, ms "definitely in a feminist punk band"???

As for the "we hate straight white men" stuff, one of the members is openly married to a straight white guy. Not saying you can't be married and also be a feminist pop punk icon, but..their entire thing is that they're "a brilliant voice on white-boy privilege and fragile masculinity". (That's supposedly another quote from one of the band members. Definitely a real human person thing to say).

The band claims to be emo as well, but couldn't recognize MCR music when asked to name MCRs most popular songs. Not that it's impossible, but how likely is it that an emo/pop-punk band taking influence from the 2000s and early 2010s doesn't know what MCR is???

(TW: Sexual assault, alcohol for this bit)

One of their songs describes raping a man by getting him drunk and pressuring him into sex. Whether this is industry-plant related or not, this clearly isn't some "voice for the youth" shit that anyone Gen Z is interested in.

The irony is that they're also connected to Dr. Luke, a cishet white male who owns their publishing house... and who has multiple SA accusations against women (notably Kesha)

(TW over)

Also, they claim to be Queer Punk, but 2 of them are openly cishet. Now, I don't believe you should pressure public figures into coming out, but I can say as someone who enjoys the queer punk scene, I've never seen a Queer Pop Punk band made up of 2/3 cishet people.

On one of Marissa (the singer's) tumblr accounts before it was deactivated, the DNI said "-Phobic against any sexuality, including straight!"

(...what about the whole "we hate straight men and we're queer punk"... thing...)

Tldr: Everything from their social media presence to the way they dress to their song lyrics/style sounds like something old people in suits would imagine appeals to the young generation. They specifically targeted punk and queer spaces and appear to exploit them, and in response to criticism they either explode at whoever is criticizing them, or they delete accounts and immediately recreate new ones.

At first it seems plausible that they're just weird, but the further down the rabbit hole you go, the less and less real it all is. It reaches a point where you see them post and it feels like you're watching an AI that was fed information on Gen Z and is randomly generating content based on that information.

(don't judge me I fell down the rabbit hole HARD ok lmao)

#WHAT THE FUCK #rape tw #question tag #papergay tag #tramp stamps #the tramp stamps

[espejonight28738]

15×12, Galaxy Brain meta

Where we don't know Cas place in the story, because he won't be written by anyone

First of all, a warning: This was written with my clown makeup on🤡

Second of all, eternal thanks to @verobatto-angelxhunter without her, I would still be crying for somethkng that was surely an error of the writers, and this wouldn't have been possible XD.

Now, I've noticed that the strong belief that Cas was gonna be a key part of Chuck's defeating is... dying, to say it somehow. And honestly I don't understand because everything is crystal clear according to me.

When Billie gave the boy the whole "You are the messengers of God's destruction" speech (and hell that was intense) I think we all though the same.

Jack, Dean and Sam. Once again, it's like Cas is not even there.

In any other season, I would probably believe that's because the writers are professionals at ignoring Cas, and they are, but I don't think that's the reason this time.

You do not point out a problem and then continue to make the same mistake. It would be ridicoulus. This season they have been pointing at Cas unexplainable/forced absences since almost the begining.

After he was pretty much ignored in the first 2 episodes (except for the 'we are' speach which I'll love forever). Then, for the first time, he voluntary went away. Not because he had something to do, not because he felt undeserving of staying, and not because non-born Jack had mess with hos mind or whatever.

And from there we have his absence in 15×04 (my meta about that episode here) where it was CALLED OUT. Becky said it. "No one even mentions Cas." And that alone could be a funny meta-fiction moment, but it doesn't end there, right?

Funny that in a chapter we know Chuck was writting as we were seeing it, he didn't write Cas.

In 15×05 (meta here) we could see a more clear parallel between Sam and Dean/ the werewolves brother because the absence of Cas put them in an isoleted situation, similar to the one the werewolves lived in. Besides, this was another Written By Chuck Episode.

In 15×06 we did have Cas (yei), but he was on his own case. In an episode we *know* Chuck wrote (he confessed in 15×09 bringing Eileen back was part of his plan), Cas was in an unrelated case.

In 15×07, Cas comes back to the bunker. Just in time for Sam to go into Chuck's head. That was NOT Chuck's plan.

In 15×08 was still not Chuck's plan. He didn't want them to contact Micheal. Cas not only did that, he managed to persuade Micheal/Adam to help by sharing his memories of who Chuck really is.

In 15×09 we saw a preview of a possible future. In this one, is in Cas *absence* (him going mad and then being locked in the Ma'lak box) that Dean pretty much gives up. He still will do anything to help Sam, but the fight in him is gone. He accepts his "destiny" in ending of the story.

In 15×10 we have... another chapter completely (or mostly) written by Chuck. Taking their "main character powers" he's proving them, or at least trying to, that He is still the writer, and they are just the characters.

And again we have no Cas. Curious, isn't it? Almost as if Chuck can't make him his character.

In 15×11 we have Cas separated of Dean and Sam again. Here I think 2 detalis are specially important.

First, the moment Cas gets re-introduced, his mission is to re-introduce Jack again. Then, we know for sure Cas keeps playing outside of Chuck's game, never once being his piece.

Second, we have Dean and Sam compared to "Heros, like in the old times". Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that, almost cry, but something about it kept bothering me.

I kept trying to write a meta about it, but I couldn't define the problem. Now I find it.

Think of any hero of the greek/roman mythology. Anyone.

They all are peons of the Gods. Hector, Aquilles, Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus, Heracles, Jason.

They always are solving the Gods' messes, or they are a piece in the Gods' games of chess. Or they ended up in the bad side of a God and for that has a less than ideal story (as Heracles about that one XD).

Some of them have better endings than other, but none of them are really free, are they? Always submitted to the will of the Gods. Those are the people Fortuna was comparing Dean and Sam to.

And Cas was, once again, absent.

Finally 15×12. @verobatto-angelxhunter kinda beat me to say it (here her meta), but the fact that Billie, who was one of the most important rols in bringing Chuck's demisse, took the time to remind us that she is Death because Cas killed her as a ripper. He wrote that part of the story.

Even though he did such a crucial thing, he doesn't get mentioned as "messenger of God's destruction" (Billie was so extra with that I love her).

I mean, even if he was k-word before they ended Chuck, he has played a good enough part to at least have some recognition, right? Right??

Unless Billie doesn't know.

Unless it's something that doesn't happen in the books. It's not like the books can't make mistakes. The book were wrong about the Ma'lak box as the only non-apocalyptic outcome for the whole Micheal mess. (The solution there was Jack, who is also someone who doesn't play by Chuck's rules and wasn't part of the story) (And is alive because of Cas' taking care of Kelly and the his deal with the Empty. All of that was Cas.)

Going back in the episode to Chuck's monologue in the store. In the TVs we could see all the AU that "didn't spark joy". That gave him the ending he wanted but lacked something.

You remember what called my attention of Sam's dreams of the AUs? Cas wasn't in any of them. Even if we know he must have existed (Benny appearing is an indication of that) Chuck just got rid of him at some point. That is what all those non-sparklers of joy have in common. Then, is not naïve to think, taking all I have already said in this meta into account, that this Cas has something none of the others had. A glitch that allows him to be the blue pill or something like that.

"But that's something pretty big, they would have to talk about it eventually." Y'all may be thinking.

Yes, they need to adress it eventually. You know, if only they confirmed a Cas-centric episode...

...yeah, exactly like that.

The first Castiel centric episode we have since, what? The Man Who Would Be King?

He needed an entire episode because it turned out he had been lying to the Winchester the whole season. He was now the big bad of season 6. Of course he needed an episode.

What do you think they can do with a Cas-centric episode now?

Tagging: @metafest @agusvedder @legendary-destiel @that-one-fandom-chick @studio-hatter

#supernatural meta #castiel meta #spn 15×12 #spn s15 #galaxy brain #supernatural #castiel #my metas

[ajokeformur-ray]

ok so for the match up thing!! name is loren, im 20, a 5'2 tiny goth kiddo who looks always grumpy and has a dark sense of humor i guess. i study philosophy and i write for a theatre company because i don't have the guts to act!! im,,, a shy mess. never dated before although i had some casual sex but really it felt so empty that i choice not to have it anymore unless im in love honestly. i own a typewriter! and im always dancing in my room because it feels good and it helps me when im manic!

also I have BPD and I cling too much to people, like really depending by em if they’re my fave at the moment and im very jealous and have anger issues but I try my best to be nice or polite at least!! i love cats, snakes and ravens. i love cozy days when you do nothing at all except for laying under a blanket and watch the rain or little things like this! i like to cook and being Italian, i can cook very well. i have glasses but i hate how I do look with em so I don’t ever wear em.

i love arthur fleck so fucking much i literally would die for him because he needs to be spoiled and cuddled and just thinking about him makes me cry so loud- but i love the joker as well, of course, being the smug bastard he is!! and daydreaming about him helps me going through the day which it’s not always so easy because sometimes it’s just too much, you know

ohhhh I forgot I wear a shit load of make up like literally I look like Robert Smith most of the time and I don’t give a fuck about people opinions ai literally go to lessons dressed like a gothic doll most of the time

i’m also a night owl

Arthur Fleck (I know he’s angry in this GIF but fuck he’s hot)

word count: 1, 131

We don’t know Arthur’s real age, but Joaquin (the gorgeous man that he is) is 44, so let’s assume the same for Arthur for a touch of realism, shall we? That being said, this means that Arthur would be so hesitant to even talk to you because of your age. You see him staring, though, you see him following you sometimes wearing that thin yellow hoodie he seems to love, and so you decide to approach him. He’s instantly smitten.

You have a dark sense of humour and so does Arthur, so this is perfect for his ego. His comedy is a sore spot, it always has been, because no one supports this precious boi in anything he does and it’s really fucking sad. When he cracks a really dry, deadpan and dark joke and you burst out laughing, love just blooms in his chest and he falls in love with you a little more. How are you real? He’s convinced you’re a delusion he’s concocted sometimes, but he dares not question it. Anything is better than the truth. Anything.

You study philosophy, so your intellect is definitely above Arthur’s. His handwriting is really bad (in the cutest way? Imagine handwritten letters from him that are filled with smiley faces and words scribbled out like 1000000 times because he can’t spell it right until he gives up and uses a word he does know how to spell) and because of how impoverished he is, that suggests that he’s uneducated. As such, when you write an essay or an assignment or you complete some other work, he’d want to read it but he wouldn’t really understand some of the more technical stuff. He’s not at all stupid, he’s very clever, and I think sometimes he’d ask you a question late at night about the thing you’re studying just so he can go to sleep to the sound of your voice. With his weary head cushioned on your chest, your heartbeat in his ear, your voice and your hands in his hair, he’d be asleep in no time.

I feel like Arthur would really love the fact that you’re shy because that means it’s easier for him to assume the protective role? So, like, he’d find your shyness frankly adorable and if you ever got shy over him then it just becomes a circle of shyness before Arthur bursts out into uncontrollable laughter and you have to comfort him through a fit. Just squeeze his hand, patiently wait it out, and reap the rewards when he can breathe again and his lips are on yours as a thank you.

You love to dance and this… Oh, this is a quintessential part of your whole relationship. When it’s late at night and Arthur is listening to music on the radio, he’d approach you, his body already swaying to the beat, and his hands would find your hips and he’d dance with you, doing that really fucking attractive shoulder thing he does. It ends up with the two of you in the bedroom doing a different kind of dance, if you get my meaning ;) Arthur understands how simple things can help you when you’re feeling a certain way, so when you’re feeling manic it’s almost 1000% guaranteed that he’ll just start dancing with you until you’re so tired you don’t want to do anything anymore.

You have BPD and you cling to people, which would actually really reassure our boi. He would need near constant reassurance that you’re real, that you love him, that he’s not hallucinating your entire fucking existence, that you’re not going to leave etc, etc. In return for all the coddling you (gladly) give him, he would do anything for you. And I mean anything ;) he would let you cling to him in any meaning - physically, mentally, emotionally. Anything. “You’re my Loren, it’s my job to take care of you.” and he’d do it so well you’d be ruined for anyone else in your life. Ever. He’s a jealous boi and though he’d take you at your word, if someone wasn’t getting the memo he’d have to step in. 

You both adore and live for cozy days inside his apartment. He has a special blanket that he likes to curl up under with you. It smells like the two of you and when either of you are missing the other because of work, studying or whatever else, then you huddle under it until the other returns. You can cook well, which is perfect because the best Arthur can do is really cheap microwave meals. He’s worryingly thin, not only because of the seven medicines he’s on but also because he just can’t afford to eat. It’d be really hard for him to even put any weight on, but at least you keep him regularly fed.

When you told Arthur that you would actually die for him and that you love him so much it just makes you cry sometimes, he’d be astounded. He’d just sit there, blinking for a few tense seconds before his throat rips with loud, intrusive laughter which is so hard and so uncontrollable that he can taste blood in the back of his throat. You’d hold him, love him, support him and cherish him and that right there means that he’s never going to leave you. Not ever. Sex with him reflects this. He’s so gentle, so tender and so loving that it makes your heart bleed. It’s not uncommon for one or both of you to actually cry during sex because you’re just so, so in love with each other that it hurts in the sweetest, most precious way.

You know who you are and you know what you want and you don’t give a fuck what people think about you. You wear what you want when you want and that’s such a fucking mood and Arthur would be so proud of you and he’d totally offer to do your makeup for you using his own work supplies! He’d be so careful and he’d giggle against the way your nose wrinkles when he’s a bit too careful with his brush and he’d want to kiss you again and again, ruining your makeup purposefully so he can stay closer to you for just a little longer and…. oh, I’m actually gonna cry writing this wow… (spoiler: I did.)

In the grand conclusion because wow I’ve rambled: you and Arthur have the sweetest, most precious relationship. It’s full of love. There are definite challenges, there are some arguments because things just get too much for the both of you sometimes and sometimes there’s more taking than giving on either side because that’s how it can be, but you never leave each other. Never, never, never.

Joker (fun fact when this part showed in the cinema I was with my mum and i legit went “Oh, fuck me” as in I properly moaned AND SHE HEARD ME. two weeks later and she still hasn’t said anything but I know she heard me)

word count: 1, 522

Whereas Arthur struggled to even think of talking to you because of the huge age gap, Joker really isn’t all that bothered. You’re a fully consenting adult who knows her own mind, so what’s the harm, right? So long as you’re both happy and comfortable with each other, he couldn’t care less. That being said, you’re 5′2 and Joker is 5′8 so there’d be some height teasing going on. He would put things up on a higher shelf in the kitchen just so he can come up behind you and ‘accidentally’ (on purpose) press his crotch up and into your bottom as he retrieves the item you’re after with a cocky grin on his face and fire in his eyes. Sexual teasing is a very normal part of your relationship and it’s a serious warning sign that he is not okay if he doesn’t do anything like that towards you all day. 

You have a dark sense of humour and you look grumpy a lot of the time, which means that, often, Joker will practically bounce up to you and use his index fingers to make you smile. It wouldn’t take long for you to actually smile from his actions, though, and that’s exactly why he does everything that he does; because he knows you can’t resist him, the smug bastard. Oh, but you love him, and he know the depth of your love for him. He’s so very honoured by it, though his way of showing it is sometimes to murder someone who irritated you last Thursday and not ever telling you about it. He’s a strange one, but he’s so free that you find yourself not minding. Just so long as he’s happy; when Joker is down, it means that something is hugely wrong and it reminds you so badly of Arthur that it hurts and you might have to crack out some of his own jokes just to cheer him up. For example, if you handed him an actual human heart and said, “I love you, Joker”, he’d burst out into loud and genuine laughter and would end up smudging his makeup from kissing you so soundly. Isn’t he gorgeous?

Joker isn’t political, religious, or anything of the sort. He tells you and others that he doesn’t believe in anything. But there’s one thing he believes in. Just one. It’s the love you have for each other that he vehemently believes in. if anyone even dared to suggest that your love isn’t as strong as you say - she’s just scared of being killed, that’s why she’s with him, or what a freak! How can she stand to kiss him? - then he’d go fucking apeshit. The last person he overheard doubting your love for him ended up swallowing several bullets in quick succession. Overkill? Perhaps, but he doesn’t care. No one gets to doubt your love for each other, not even yourselves. He’d be very supportive of your studies and I have no doubt that, if you ever got a shaky grade, it’d be changed very quickly by a shaking tutor who can’t quite look you in the eye. The smiley face on the whiteboard which looks like a child did it clues you in hugely, though. His actions are wrong but it comes from a very heavily guarded heart of gold.

Where Arthur finds your shyness cute and he would immediately adopt Protective Mode™, Joker would just relentlessly tease you just to see how deep your blush goes. “That’s an interesting shade of red, Loren. Where have I seen it before? Ah, yes…” *Twirls and fingers the hem of his red tuxedo* Be warned, though… Only Joker gets to tease you about being shy. If anyone else dared to tease you for being shy or for stuttering or for tripping over your words and oh god shut up, he’d rip them a new one. Only he gets to tease you. He does, sometimes, wind you up on purpose, just to see how far he can push you before you snap and want to punch something. He finds it incredibly amusing. Deep down, though, he’d be just as protective as Arthur and would find himself doing things for you that you’re too shy to do; in whatever means you need! ;)

You dance because it helps you when you’re manic but also because you enjoy it. Just like with Arthur, this is absolutely essential in your relationship with Joker. A lot of the time when you’re dancing, he’d step in flawlessly and you’d start dancing together like Fred and Ginger, with him dipping you, spinning you around, lifting you up with surprising strength, and it’s one of his favourite ways (other than makeup sex) to apologise to you. “Dance with me.” Immediately would his hands grab you, spinning you, his intense green eyes never leaving yours, that damned smirk on his lips as he sees that blush rising on your face… Again, like with Arthur, you do several modes of dancing together; some are more preferable to others!

When you’re out and about together in public, you’re basically glued together. Your hands are held so tightly by the other that you’re not sure whose hands is whose and, are your fingers getting a bit numb? Both of you have jealousy and anger issues for slightly different reasons; Joker because it’s borne from a place of deeply set abuse and abandonment issues, and you have your own reasons that he may or may not know about. He finds it baffling that you get jealous over him, though. So many of Arthur’s neuroses still live on in Joker, despite his bravado. You try to be polite, but Joker makes no such efforts; he will destroy someone for even glancing at you in the street. 

You both live for cosy days. These are the days during which Joker will relax his persona. He will cuddle with you, watching shows on TV, his fingers grazing along the underside of your breasts or even dipping under your underwear. You can arch your hips into his touch all you want, he’s not gonna give you what you want unless you’re patient. He loves foreplay more than the act itself; to him, anticipation heightens everything deliciously. You cook very well, and Joker would love to watch you cook. He enjoys the heat you summon into the bedroom, and he loves bending you over the counter, sweeping the dirty plates into the sink with a noisy crash (and you have to buy new plates at least once a week), and fucking you until you’re only upright  because of his arm wound tightly around your waist.

You once told Joker that you often think of him when you’re not with him, just because he offers you comfort and support from wherever he is. Just knowing he’s somewhere in Gotham wreaking havoc or even waiting for you to get home makes you feel like you can conquer the fucking world, and he was flattered. He did get a little upset, though, when you confessed that you would actually die for him if you had to. He kills for you, and sometimes because of you without a thought, but turning that idea around onto you makes him feel hot in all the wrong ways. I actually think Joker would crawl into your arms that night, needing to feel that you were there, and real, and even now he’s wondering how you could possibly love him knowing all that he has done and will continue to do. He would make you promise to never keep your word on this topic, because no one is gonna be dying in this relationship. You and him are forever a ride or die. For better or for worse.

You stand together at the bathroom sink putting your faces on. Your shoulders are touching, which means sometimes your elbows bump into each other and one of you makes a mistake with the makeup. “Oh, would you look at that? My makeup’s ruined,” Joker would hum, “what are you going to do about it, darling?” There’s only one answer to this, and it’s the two of you kissing each other so passionately that you have to wash your faces off and start again. Who knows, maybe you don’t get to leave the bathroom that day. Makeup is one of the biggest expenditures in your small household, even with Joker knowing where to go to get the good stuff.

In conclusion: dating Joker would be so very different to dating Arthur, but there is love, compassion, trust, adoration, so much sex you’re surprised you can still walk most mornings (he can and will go multiple rounds with you in a day; he’s a horny fucker, is our Joker), and there are definitely more emotional challenges than there are any other, but you’ve learned to stick it out with him over the years, You’d never leave him for any reason, even if he murdered everyone in Gotham (and a lot of the time he’s sorely tempted to burn the city to the ground and start all over again).

#rebs-doom #Requests closed #requests open for joker 2019 #matchup #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck #arthur fleck imagine #joker #joker imagine #joker x reader #joker (2019) imagine #joker 2019 imagine #joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix x reader #joaquin phoenix imagine #phoenix!joker #phoenix!joker imagine #phoenix!joker x reader #todd phillips

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

#Grace spills tea #grace speaks #poto 2004 #phantom of the opera musical #phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #Phantom of the opera 2004 #movie review #my reviews

[thesoundofaghost-mp3]

May's tutorial on how to take 2000s looking pics! This is not just for scene and/or emo kids, although ofcourse yall can use this!

Here are a few things you can do to make pictures look like they were taken in the 2000s!

What better way to look 2000s than when you use 2000s technology?

Exemples of things you could take a pic with are: an ipod, or any mp3 player actually, 2000s looking cd players, PS2 controllers (make sure it actually looks like you're playing or believe me, someone will notice!) or xbox controller (if you use older consoles of any type, the vibe might look more 90s but if you manage you can still make it work)

If you can't take a picture next to or with 2000s technology... anything? Well maybe you can take a selfie with a fliphone, or a T Mobile Sidekick (if you have one, lucky you!) or even a Nintendo DS if you've got one of those with the camera! Mirror selfies were also a thing of the (mid?) 2000s if they were taken with an actual camera! Let's also not forget the webcam pictures!

Here's one I took for example:

Special "effects"/ Editing:

One thing that makes almost all pictures look so much more aesthetic/better: putting the flash on! I promise it works almost all of the time, the picture will look more high quality and clearer even though it is the same quality as without! If you think your outfit might not be too great or you'd like to make it look like it was taken with a low quality phone, blur the picture! It could also just look artistic, which works just as good.

As for the editing, Glitter, like edits made on Blingee, turning up the contrast, putting a filter (or a few) that give off a blue hue or darker, add in your FriendProject profile number, or your nickname in a grungy font, or photoshop yourself in front of a cute butterfly background!

The poses and angles!

Taking a picture with only this information might not be enough to make it look as 2000s as you want it to be, so now let's see another thing; the poses and the angles! Especially when you take a selfie, do not understimate the power of the "myspace angle" as you might've heard before, the super high angle from which you take the selfie, in which you could include your whole outfit. I know, out of experience, that the position in which you have to try and stand to get your whole outfit in the picture is very, VERY uncomfortable, but trust me it's worth it!

Here's an example:

Other angles/poses you could use are for example the ones in which you position the camera, phone or whatever you take your pictures with at your feet, put a timer or make someone take the picture for you, in an angle at which your feet will look bigger than your head and your whole outfit will be visible again! This one's hard to explain but here's an example, again from one of my pics because I couldn't find one from someone else: (putting "myspace picture big feet" on google, does in fact, not work)

Shoutouts from most known myspace celebs were a big thing back then, with the name of someone (or their own, partly to prove they aren't catfish) written on their hand or a piece of paper, as well as showing off fake tattoos made with sharpies, or something like "I love you!" on the palm of your head, so standing there showing it, could, somehow be a pose? I guess so... oh well, this is still something that would've been on this list!

There are many more (like for example the ones where your legs look broken as you sit on the floor, or the one where you are showing off your room plastered with posters..) but just know not to just stand there looking lost (unless that's what you're going for), be either VERY dramatic with the poses or super casual, no in betweens or you'll probably look awkward!

Dramatic makeup and hair!

Of course... To keep on being dramatic, because the 2000s very much were, (as every decade, in their own way, but you get what I mean) hair was often in crazy colors and or haircuts! Even if you were neither emo nor scene, celebrities like Christina Aguilera or Kelly Clarkson, to Matt Tuck (that's right!) had highlights in their hair, or just dyed parts of their hair, usually blonde, black or red, but chalk haircolor exists in many colors, so go crazy on that!

See here:

Not only that but side ponytails, extensions, crimped hair, face framing bangs, spiky gelled hair etc. Even if you aren't emo or scene, your hair can cover one of your eyes for the picture!

Makeup had to be very visible, especially as a scene kid or emo kid with the overflowing amount of eyeliner, and colorful mascara or anything that you could find to be original and "artsy" really, but also for any other person! Makeup looks that were usual attire were for example: LIPGLOSS, blue, purple, white or eyeshadow, frosty pink lipstick, a lot of mascara, colorful eyeliner, rosy cheeks, or lined lips (darker on the outside) but none of that would be complete without thin eyebrows! Fake tans are also a go-to if you're feeling it!

Now, if you're too scared to use hairchalk or dye your hair, and you aren't too good at makeup, no worries, you've still got other options!

Props and accessories!

Big sunglasses.. yes, even indoors! Rimmed glasses, Colored lenses, "Bug eye" sunglasses, there are many to choose from! Scarves, very unnecessary but pretty cool looking! Hoop earrings were also in! For guys too, jewelry was often worn, for example diamond earrings, shell necklaces, as well as the typical "gangsta wear", you would've guessed it: the dollar sign necklace or chunky golden chains/necklaces. They were ofcourse not first worn during the 2000s, but they were definitely still very much worn then! Other jewelry often worn were silly bands, wristbands, kandi bracelets and necklaces. You can even wear fake piercings!

As for headwear, still many to choose from, like trucker hats, both for guys and girls and anyone who'd like to wear those, bandanas, fedora hats, (do not recommend, 80% of the time you'll look awkward, but you can't know if you're part of the 20% that could rock the look if you don't atleast try, I guess) "baker boy hats" and big huge bows for all my scene beans out there. Belts. BeLtS! A lot, too much, 3 of them, or one big one, just find whatever you have and wear the goddamn belts! Fishnets! Fingerless gloves! They were very much in, and not just for scemo kids!

Not only is it about things you can wear, but also things you can use for the picture, you can look cute while holding a plush toy, (bonus points if you've got a gloomy bear, hello kitty or gir plush!) mysterious while holding a notebook/ diary of some sort or nerdy with your favorite book, but a lot of pictures get much more fun when they are super random, for example like kiki kannibal, just casually holding a lamp in her garden...

Clothing!

Now, this one will be short as I will mainly give you guys links to some articles that talk about 2000s fashion, but here's a thing: If you're going for a very "in your face" kind of style, go fully crazy lol! Scene kids get your neon green tights or red ripped skinnies out and wear all of the colors, preps wear your shiniest Playboy logo shirt, goths and emos you better wear your nicest black knee high converse, all of it!! Go fucking over the top because truly, it was rarely ever over the top in the 2000s! Also, did I mention? Cringe culture is dead, nobody cares if you somehow manage to truly go a little too far! If you're feeling yourself, don't hesitate to show a little skin, (I don't mean totally naked, duh, especially if you're a minor plz no it's usually a very bad idea) ain't nothing wrong with mini skirts or crop tops! (guys, GUYS please wear them too if you feel like it, I promise you a lot of us think that's hot okaythatsall)

Anyway, here's a few articles on the fashion/clothes! Most of these include also accessories etc but you'll find a lot about clothes!

Includes men's clothing too!

https://www.complex.com/style/best-fashion-trends-of-early-2000s/

Yes.. I know.. Buzzfeed.. But oh well, it's still showing the clothes and fashion like we need! There isn't much for guys here, but there is inspo to take from it lol!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/forgotten-early-2000s-trends

Now, I know what this one says... apparently all of these trends were"mistakes"... Well who's gonna laugh when 2000s style makes a comeback? Definitely not them, once they look back on this article!

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/fashion/g2898/worst-2000s-fashion-trends/

This article includes men's fashion and also includes a link to buy the items! That is, if you've got 35$ to spend on a cap for example... Which I don't, but that's okay, it's got pretty good examples of the fashion!

https://spy.com/gallery/2000s-fashion-trends-throw-back-style/

And since I couldn't find a good article on 2000s alt fashion, I made a Pinterest board with a few exemples for Scene, Emo, Goth, Mallgoth/Goth, Visual Kei and Cybergoth! There isn't a lot yet, but you'll get the general idea :)

https://www.pinterest.fr/mayskelly/2000s-alt-styles/

I hope you guys like it, and try it! I think I may share my favorite attempts if enough people do it on my instagram story and here, and tumblr as well if anyone participates in this!

#emo #scene #scemo #scenecore #emocore #fun #tutorial #2000s core #2000s #2000 #2001 #2002 #2003 #2004 #2005 #2006 #2007 #2008 #2009 #2010 #preps #goths #everyone #contest #participate! #participate

[malexfan10]

What is it about Malex?

I was playing around on my phone at work (when I should have been working lol) and came across some article about the best TV couples. It was published in 2018 so Malex wasn't in it lol

But I was going through the pictures in the article and I saw a lot of the couples I've liked & enjoyed over the years listed. Pacey & Joey, Captain Swan, Haleb, Stydia, Kurt & Blaine etc.

I started thinking...what is it about Malex that makes them extra special for me? What is it about them that made me join Tumblr and Twitter for the first time? I never had either before this year. What is it about them that made me write more fan fic in the span of 3 months than I have in years of watching other shows? And I'm someone who studied English Lit in university and have written many novels, hoping to finally pursue publishing this year with one of them. But the amount of fan fic I've typed out the past 3 months? My hands seriously hurt!

So why is Malex so special?

(I made a collage below)

Is it because they're an LGBTQ pairing? There have been other LGBTQ pairings I've rooted for. Malex isn't the first and they won't be the last. Times are changing in TV land and we're seeing more and more representation. It's progressing slowly, but it is changing.

Is the reason Malex is extra special a shallow reason? The actors are both incredibly good looking. No getting around that. But I loved Haleb too and Tyler was one half of that ship. I adore Joshua Jackson and Dylan O'Brien. I think Holland Roden is beautiful. In the couples I've followed over the years, all the actors & actresses have been attractive in their own ways.

-- side note -- I know I put Destiel (SPN) in the collage below even though technically they're not a couple but some of their lines over the past decade, I mean come on! It's so obvious! --

Anyway...

Is it the chemistry between Tyler & Michael? I thought Katie & Josh had amazing chemistry. Only reason I watched PLL was for Haleb and the friendship between Tyler & Ashley. Some of the couples I've rooted for really sizzled on screen. Do I think Vlamburn has better chemistry than all the others? Not necessarily. I think they tie for first with some of my other faves (although I would probably rank them above right now just because they're current).

So what is it about Malex that made me so emotionally invested that I joined social media like this? That I've written a bunch of fics and have so many other concepts cooking in my head.

I think it comes down to the angst at the end of the day and how the story has been written.

I've directed a lot of disappointment and anger towards Carina and the writers since that finale because I'm afraid the triangle will grow and span multiple seasons. I'm afraid the writers will show Michael really starting to have deep feelings for Maria the longer M&M exists (I know Vlamis said in those last interviews that his feelings for her are already very deep but sorry Vlamis. I love you but I don't see that yet.) I'm afraid now that they know they were renewed, they'll drag this storyline out, pursure M&M and then Michael with other relationships if/once M&M ends with Alex just waiting in the sidelines, moping and heartbroken.

But despite all my fears and disappointments after that craptastic finale (seriously, I can write a 20 page essay), I have to give the writers their credit.

The story they wrote, the beauty they created in Malex, with that amazing angst and history and love is the reason I'm so invested.

"Where I stand, nothing's changed"

"I never look away"

"That I loved you and I think that you loved me."

"Cosmic"

"But you are mine"

"I don't look away Guerin"

"I love him. I probably always will"

I mean, these lines all exist. No one can take those words away. Yes, the writers can try and diminish it by shoving another relationship down our throats & attempting to give that relationship the same level of meaning and importance (sorry, not buying it. Hardly anyone is). But those lines will always be there.

The epicness of Malex will always be there.

That beautiful first kiss in the reunion will always be there.

Their connection in senior year, bonding over their painful childhoods and living situations will always be there.

Caulfield, although bittersweet, will always be there.

Michael Guerin wanting to be Alex's hero will always be there.

The angst and love between them is just unbelievable. I don't think any other couple I've rooted for over the years has had the same amount of angst or history. Their story is just beautiful.

I don't cry too much in movies or TV shows unless there's a really sad death that hits me hard. LOST was one of those shows where I sobbed constantly (Jin & Sun's death, Juliet's, Charlie's...I could go on).

But I cried after that last scene in episode 6, when Jesse destroyed such a beautiful and pure moment 🥺

I cried at that moment in Caulfield 🥺

I cried at the finale, watching Alex just waiting there while Michael....let's not remind ourselves 🤨

So yes, the chemistry is unbelievable between Tyler & Michael. How close they are offscreen shines through their performance and this is in a cast where everyone's close. But with Vlamburn, especially from Michael, he's so unfiltered when he talks about Tyler's eyes or the way he kisses or just how much he loves him. What can I say, they make me love Malex more ❤

Yes, they're both incredibly good looking but that's a miniscule, shallow reason. How good looking a couple is in no way compares to how much their emotional connection matters, at least for me.

So really, it's the story. It's the history. It's all that profound, made for each other, soulmates love that they share. It's the incredible angst that makes me root for them even more.

And yes, as much as Carina and crew have angered me after that finale and after their insistance of shoving this triangle down our throats and in our faces, they did create Malex so I have to be grateful for that. Vlamburn perfected it and made it epic but the concept came from Carina (trust me, it hurts to give that credit).

So as much as it still hurts with what happened, as much as seeing the M&M promos bothers me, as much as I'll be a sobbing mess once season 2 hits and Alex realizes what happened, I have to believe that this much care and heartbreaking angst was given to this couple for a reason. That reason has to be that Malex is endgame.

Can Carina change her mind about Endgame Malex? Sure she can, if she wants to lose a substantial percentage of the fandom. But I can't believe she'll do that.

I can't believe that Malex is anything but each other's ending.

I can't believe that this beautiful love story we've seen between 2 men who started as scared, lonely boys and are now broken men trying to put themselves back together is anything short of EPIC.

I can't believe that M&M, however painful and ridiculously unnecessary, is anything but a bump in this road for Malex.

All that matters is how the writers take us from point A to B.

Does their separation last for 4 more seasons (pending renewals) and Malex reunites in the series finale, season 5? God I hope not. I need to see them existing as a couple together on screen, not just a kiss and makeup moment last episode and assume they made it. So once this teenage level of triangle nonesense has been dealt with (please let season 2 be the end of it!!!!), I really hope the writers realize the amazing couple they created and give them their due justice by bringing Malex together for good.

Episodes 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, last Malex scene of 9, beginning of 10 and all of 12 point this show towards one inevitable ending with Malex and that's reuniting (did I get the episodes right?). Just keep your fingers crossed it happens sooner rather than later. Right now, that's where my main fears lie.

This fandom has been super great about lending support to one another when things get tough. Unfortunately, things will get even tougher next season so it will be good to have this great support.

As far as the promos and interviews we'll be getting between now and 2020, I'll try to only watch interviews that Michael & Tyler give together and avoid anything that seems like M&M promotion (outside of full cast interviews or festivals etc). I love all the actors on this show. They're all wonderful and talented and deserve our love and support (not commenting on that Nathan instagram thing).

But as a Malex fan, I have no place in my life for unnecessary stress from a TV show because honestly, as invested as I am, it's still just a TV show. No need to give myself more heartbreak before season 2 even airs by watching pro M&M interviews like yesterday. I'll just stay in my happy Malex bubble until then (and then die when I see M&M next year 😭).

In the end of this long post, all I wanted to say is that Malex is extra special, head and shoulders above others ships I've rooted for and that's mostly because of the beautiful story I've seen on screen but Vlamburn defintely plays an imortant part in making it epic ❤

I'm a Malex lifer. Nothing will ever change that.

❤

#malex #roswell alex and michael #alex manes #michael guerin #roswell nm #roswell new mexico #long post #sorry