#'They'll tell you to be number 1 never to be happy - First place is for those who need a grade who lack self-confidence'

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Takeomi, Self-Esteem and Denial (and more)

@raizelswitch, thank you for waiting!

TL;DR : I want a BD spin-off and I want it from Takeomi’s POV even though he’d be such an unreliable narrator (and like that we could also have a Akashi siblings spin-off, two birds, one stone). Takeomi has a lot of issues and making him raise children and naming him vice captain was a bad idea since it only made things worse. He had developed both an inferiority and superiority complex to cope. And we were robbed of any interaction between him and Inui, the other famous ‘can’t let go of Black Dragon even after x years’ character.

Who wants to read about 17,000 words about Takeomi (I didn’t expect to write this much, what the heck)? Clearly not Tumblr because I spent way too much time having to reorder this post, it mixed it all up everytime ! It also refused to post it for hours

The translations of Wakasa’s and Benkei’s ‘a day in his life’ as well as Takeomi’s failure story come from the Twitter user RanHaruchiyo

I feel like I made a few mistakes so there : English is not my native language, I apologize if some sentences don’t make sense. Sorry for any type of typos as well.

I referred to the past (beside the final timeline) as ‘canon-timeline’ several times because I had no clue how to name it. It’s not the futures, it’s not the original or final timeline, it’s… it’s the past until the final timeline comes in.

When you reach the top – the only way is down. (and up and down…)

Let’s get started with something very quick – Takeomi was created to be the exact opposite of Shinichiro. And when you’re the exact opposite of a character who’s perfectly good, loved by everyone (other characters and fans alike), then the writer uses you to be bad. Not necessarily evil - Takeomi isn’t evil - but ‘not good’.

And Wakui doesn’t shy away from that. I’m keeping the analysis of the kanji of the Akashi and Sano siblings’ names for the end, so I’ll just talk about the ‘shi’ of ‘Akashi’ here, to show what I mean.

司 (Akashi) means ‘administrator, official, a governor whom the emperor chose to carry on the imperial policies in provinces’. It fits Takeomi’s role pretty much, right ? He had a high rank in Black Dragon, but Shinichiro was above and that’s when it starts to be very interesting. 司 upside down gives 后. And it means ‘monarch, king, emperor, queen, empress’ – nice coincidence, isn’t it ?. It’s literally the same kanji upside down. Takeomi is Shinichiro upside down. Is that why he’s the rain bringer while Shinichiro, always being seen in a positive light, would be linked to the sun ? I already thought of Takeomi as a ‘teru teru bozu’ since they’re supposed to bring rain when hung upside down and it’s not stupid to think of Shinichiro, oh so perfect Shinichiro, as a ‘sun bringer’ – after all, like Mikey, he took over Japan, did he not ?

Plus, the sun is their most famous goddess (Amaterasu)’s symbol, Japan’s symbol, and by such the emperor’s symbol.

And when you’re that. When you’re the mirror of such a perfect character, how can you not be made but only of flaws ? You’re made to be bad in everything he is good – and the opposite isn’t guaranteed to be true. What if making you good in things he’s bad in makes you good ? No, no, you’re supposed to be bad. Because he’s good, and you’re his polar opposite. He’s bad in excusable things. You’re bad in barely forgivable things. It’s not important for him to be a horrible fighter, even in a story centered around gang fights. It’s unforgivable for you to not know how to raise your siblings, in a story built on siblings' relationships.

And Shinichiro is great at raising Mikey and Emma, while Takeomi isn’t that much of a fighter. We see him fight a bit when he goes with Brahman to confront South about Draken’s death, but it’s not big important fights, Benkei and Wakasa, and later Senju, are the ones fighting. And Benkei and Wakasa were Black Dragon 1st generation’s main fighting power, as the guard and special attack unit captains.

(Heck, Shinichiro is listed n°1 best in bikes riders, Takeomi is n°3 worst - yet another thing he's either bad or average at. (Wakasa is n°3 best, we dont know where Benkei lies. Mikey is 2nd best, Takemichi and Senju are respectively 1st and 2nd worse))

Shinichiro is good, even when he kills. Takeomi is only ever bad or less-bad. Perhaps Wakui initially planned scenes where he was ‘good’, but they never came to be, so instead we’re stuck with a character who has a potential for a redemption arc and who never got it.

(Look at this ! He became self aware! And finally stopped living in denial !)

(We never see him again after this btw. He never gets to talk to Sanzu.)

If there’s one thing Takeomi is good at, it’s strategy.

He is feared, he is called « God of War », he is named vice-captain…

By other people. By other delinquents. By Shinichiro.

He doesn’t think he’s the reason all of that happens. He isn’t those things, he receives them (use of passive voice). By such, if people don’t give him, then he’s left with nothing. No matter if he is good at something, if people aren’t there to tell him, then he doesn’t think he is. Takeomi thinks of his worth, his validity as a person by how others perceive him - they praise him ? He must be great ! They ignore him ? How pathetic has he become.

When do people say that ? When he’s Black Dragon Vice-Captain. When is he Black Dragon vice-captain ? When Shinichiro is on top. That’s why he panics in chapter 230 when Shinichiro tells him about disbanding the gang. If the gang gets disbanded, what does he have left ? If Shinichiro tells him to stop following him around (chapter 230: “I was always by Shin’s side”) what is he supposed to do ? He is but “an ordinary kid. Whether it be in sports, or studies, [...] just average. [...] a normal child, not special at all” (same chapter) whose childhood friend “had a mysterious charm that attracted people around him. Even with that charm, Shin never resorted to violence.[...]he was just very earnest and kind” (same chapter). Without Black Dragon he’s nothing. Without Shinichiro he’s nothing. Because he never learnt to let go of Shinichiro‘s hand, nor did he wish to. But Shinichiro just.. let go one day. We know how Shinichiro is. If he was aware of how much he is needed by Takeomi, he would have done things differently. And while he shouldn’t be responsible for Takeomi’s well-being, he is the reason whether Takeomi’s self-esteem is stable (or a bit too much over the top) or not. Takeomi made him responsible for it, and Shinichiro surely would’ve helped if he figured it out, (because Takeomi is a stranger to himself and wouldn’t have ever asked for help (he doesn’t know he needs help after all)), but Shinichiro didn’t. The same way Mikey didn’t notice why Baji acted the way he did during Valhalla arc until it was too late. It’s not because they’re childhood friends that they read each other like an open book.

Shinichiro, while he never intended to and we can’t blame him for this either, is the reason Takeomi turned out like he did. Takeomi followed him everywhere, he wouldn’t have entered delinquency if Shinichiro didn’t. Takeomi tried so hard to climb to Shinichiro’s level and kept comparing himself to him and it got worse when he was appointed the role of vice-president. His ego skyrocketed. And even if Shinichiro had noticed it, would he have figured out how to change that ? For sure, if he knew how to help he’d have helped – then again, would Takeomi accept this help ? He’s a professional when it comes to denial, he pushes everyone away. And denial is what he does best. From denying he would be nothing without the other Black Dragon founding members and hiding behind his God of War persona, to denying his involvement in Senju and Sanzu’s life. Even if Shinichiro, Wakasa and Benkei did try to help, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, who refuses to believe there’s something wrong, and by doing so who refuses to talk about it. It’s all made to protect himself from the truth. Because the truth will hurt him, facing it will make him realize he’s not special and that will shatter his self-esteem. It will make him feel painful emotions he can’t deal with. So he runs away from it, and thus, dives deeper into misery. If you refuse to see the problem, then it will grow, and Takeomi’s problems, his mistakes, grow a lot. The world changes but he doesn’t, he keeps the same behaviors, and soon they turn against him. His fame turns into debts. Debts he can’t pay anymore, but he refuses to admit it. Because he would have been able to pay, if Black Dragon had remained. Takeomi likes to live in luxury (his dream is to be a multimillionaire), so he’d keep on denying the fact he can’t afford it anymore just to carry on living this way.

Maybe the reason him and Wakasa & Benkei aren’t close isn’t that they see him as ‘Shinichiro’s childhood friend we’re obligated to endure/tolerate even though he’s insufferable’ (when the BD founding members interact, Wakasa and Benkei always tease, laugh at Shinichiro, chapter 230, Benkei “Look at all your battle scars !” Shinichiro, “Quit it !” Wakasa, “A loser in both fights and love !” Shinichiro “Hey man, that's none of your business”; chapter 269: Benkei “You sure are dumb, Shinichiro !” Wakasa, “Haha. Well, that's shin-chan for ya.”) they’re never shown as friendly toward Takeomi) but more that, even if they did try, Takeomi, unconsciously, never let them know who he really was underneath it all. To be fair, Takeomi lied to himself so strongly he wasn’t aware he wasn’t this façade he had created. I’m not sure if Wakasa and Benkei succeeded in seeing through his lies, Takeomi himself surely didn’t. Shinichiro was left but whether it be the original timeline or not, he didn’t succeed to help Takeomi. Takeomi compares himself to others (him being an ordinary kid vs Shinichiro not being one), is sensitive to criticism and compliments alike (while he didn’t seem hurt when Kakucho uno-reversed him by asking him if he had forgotten about Shinichiro after Takeomi had asked him if he had forgotten about Izana, he did react, unlike Kakucho who remained unfazed; “Drunk in the praises of my name, I became arrogant”), seeks attention and validation, makes things about himself (“[...]He talks about the Brahman Senju created as if he created it. [...] I remember he used to brag about Shinichiro's achievements as if he himself had done them[...]”, Benkei’s ‘a day in his life’) and has troubles admitting his faults (even if he eventually apologizes in chapter 230 to Senju, he is fighting back tears while doing so). Those are all things inferiority and superiority complexes share (beside the low self-esteem). And while there are signs we can’t be 100% sure he has, reading about Takeomi echoes to those two complexes. First, inferiority complex. Feeling insecure, incomplete or unworthy → “not special at all”; “I was broke and powerless“; ”at the lowest of low. But they accepted me as I was”. Withdrawal → “I got news of Shin's death. But I was too busy in struggling for money.”, that ‘too busy with money’ (in good (“treated as a VIP [...] never got short on money” and in bad “my debts piling up”) seems like the perfect excuse to avoid your friends and family. All or nothing thinking, things are either good or bad → he’s either at the top of Japan and everything is doing great or he’s not and nothing’s working in his life. Insecurity in relationships → Benkei and Wakasa are his disliked/feared people because "they look down on me" (3rd guide book) (there is no proof of that but I’ll dig into that later). Feeling good when doing better than others → only felt at ease when he was the God of War. Finding fault in others, demeaning others as a way to transfer their feelings → will go back to it way later, but his relationship with Sanzu is basically that. Shutting down because of shame, guilt, embarrassment or an inward sense of defeat → once again, what he did after he started to be indebted.

For superiority complex there’s : hiding feelings of mediocrity and underlying or persistent low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority → hiding his “powerless”, “ordinary” and all behind his mask of second in command of Black Dragon and Brahman. High valuation of self-worth, a self-image of supremacy or authority, overarching belief that they are better than others → “the first generation Black Dragon once ruled the nation - with me as the vice captain. I was feared, since my decisions determined how any conflict would end. I was called the « God of War »” . Feelings of entitlements and boastful claims that aren’t backed up by reality → he brags about Senju and Shinichiro’s achievements, they aren’t his own (even though he must have some). Which goes with: need to be in control → he’s the one who’s in charge of making Brahman gain money (and he’s the one who decided of it, Senju is against his ways), Brahman listens to him when he says they’re attacking Rokuhara Tendai and not to Senju who tell them to stop, and is convinced Senju is only where she is thanks to him, Wakasa and Benkei being around and dealing with everything (chapter 229, Takeomi: “Senju got herself included in the ‘three deities’ only through first gen Black Dragon’s support. Senju can't take this fight alone !”).

There are also signs which I can’t find quotes or panels to say Takeomi has them but, knowing the character, it wouldn’t be surprising. These include : feelings of hostility, frustration, nervousness, or aggression (he does express those but given the context it's justifiable; he's impulsively decide to go against Rokuhara Tendai even though Senju tells him no because they aren't ready, Benkei says "It's no use, Takeomi has lost his cool". There's also his nicotine addiction which does not help). Highly competitive, perfectionist paired with an avoidance for any kind of competition where efforts might be compared with others’ ; don’t do something if there are risks one would fail (he dislikes efforts (3rd guide book), so that may mean he only does things when he’s sure of his own capacities and refuse to leave his comfort zone, he doesn’t participate/try if he’s not sure of succeeding). And : unwillingness to listen to others (if BD founding members tried to take his head out of the sand, it failed). Overcompensation to specific elements of life (perhaps linked to his childhood but we have no information about it). Mood swings, often made worse by contradiction from another person (→ him seemingly aloof, becoming mad very quickly at Sanzu when he or Senju do something wrong ? His whole reaction to Draken’s death; “I'm gonna destroy Rokuhara Tandai right now.[...] Assemble everyone in Brahman for an emergency meeting !!”, followed by South’s comment in chapter 225: “It's so rare to see Akashi getting all rowdy like this.” and Senju’s trying to calm him down (only making it worse). Takeomi’s interaction with Kakucho about Izana and Shinichiro in chapter 212 too maybe). Gets offended if there’s no positive feedback.

I will like to add that no official list of signs exist or if it does, I didn’t find it. But knowing how both of these complexes work, it was interesting to talk about it, in my opinion.

(By the way, Takeomi was listed number 1 worst at ‘who is needy when dating ?’ (whereas Sanzu and Wakasa were 1st and 2nd best). Except that in Takeomi’s case the reason he’s not needy is because he's straight-up avoidant which isn't better. As opposed to Senju and Draken (2nd and 3rd worst) who seem non-needy in a healthy way.)

Takeomi wants to stand at the top, Shinichiro knows how to go up there, so he just has to tag along, easy-peasy. But like for a jungle gym, you have to get down one day. Did Shinichiro want to become Japan's number 1 ? I’m not that sure. It may have been a goal, but not the main one. What he liked most was the journey, not the destination, if it was then he wouldn’t have disbanded Black Dragon. But Takeomi wants to go on top of the jungle gym. Takeomi wants to be Japan number 1. Forever. Takeomi wants to learn how you get up there and how to stay/keep standing still.

That’s one of the most tragic point with Takeomi in my opinion. He was the brain of Black Dragon, he was the brain of Braham (it may have been an excuse but Senju recruited him for his guidance, his wisdom), and he was, supposedly as Mikey’s advisor, the brain of Bonten. He knows how to get on top of Japan. He knows how to become influential, how to make money (Brahman’s B-1 fighting club), how to recruit people and make them stay, he knows which decision to take to assure victory or defeat.

He’s smart, insanely. And he. doesn’t. see. it. If he did, he could have managed to live without the gang.

For Takeomi, it’s not that he becomes number 1, it’s that there’s a number 1 by his side and he knows how to follow them (his special skill is ‘taking advantage of others’ (3rd guide book)). He is aware he was the lead actor as to why victory or defeat were but – Takeomi isn’t a fighter. Wakasa and Benkei are. Shinichiro sucked at it but he was still insanely strong.

Takeomi doesn’t fight and that’s not his role. He likely knows how to pull out punches and other fight moves but as a ‘God Of War’ he’s mainly a strategist. He takes decisions, Shin agrees or not (and Shin is the one who has the last say), Wakasa and Benkei, and the rest of the gang, apply. (chapter 224, Benkei answering “yes, sir” to one of Takeomi’s command (even though Senju is clearly against it))

However, he’s not the one who brought them together. All of what he has. It’s thanks to Shinichiro. Wouldn’t be number 1 without him. Wouldn’t be friends with Wakasa and Benkei without him. Takeomi lives on what Shinichiro gave him. Him, an average, good-for-nothing kid. And when it’s time to say farewell to all of that – he doesn’t.

Shinichiro has his own shop. Wakasa and Benkei have their own gym.

Takeomi stays as if he was still on top. As if he wasn’t already falling, as if the impact on the ground wouldn’t damage him. As if Shinichiro, who decided climbing the jungle gym wasn’t fun anymore, didn’t stop stabilizing him.

He lives in denial. And it works at the beginning. People still think of them as number 1 so it’s not too hard. But then they realize they aren’t. But Takeomi is an average kid. In everything. He’s only good at what Shinichiro designed him as. And he didn’t think he'd be good at it. He isn’t good at anything else. He can’t do anything else. So it goes on.

The debts pill up.

Shinichiro dies.

And ? And repeat. Without the debts, this time.

Senju, joyous, cheerful, strong-willed Senju, asks him to join her gang. As her second in command. Even though he is “broke and powerless”. “At the lowest of low” (chapter 230). Even though Wakasa and Benkei are right there.

(Shinichiro asked him to be his vice captain. Even though Takeomi was average, good at nothing but following his childhood friend around. Even though Shinichiro had become friends with Wakasa and Benkei who were in this world since way longer.)

And so Brahman is created.

Their prestige comes back. They remember mannerisms days after days, they remember how you do it. Brahmam grows. They have hundreds of members, they make a lot of money with deals and underground fights. Whereas Wakasa and Benkei moved on (or, way more than Takeomi did), Takeomi didn’t and it shows even in their Brahman uniforms. If you look closely, they don’t have the same patterns on their sleeves – Wakasa and Benkei both got flowers, although different from the other’s (same thing for Senju) but Takeomi has a dragon. (Average Brahman members have the same thing they have on the back of their uniforms)

Draken dies. Draken dies. He shouts it – It’s not a childish brawl (chapter 224). I find it hard to believe that during Black Dragon 1st Gen, they never lost anyone, but Draken’s death snaps him back to reality. It isn’t like it was with Shinichiro. There’s no fun. It’s war. Standing at the top isn’t like standing on a jungle gym. Draken is dead and so is Shinichiro. Why isn’t he ? (chapter 225, Takeomi: “Souuuuuuuth !! Why did you kill Draken !? He wasn't even a formal member of Brahman ! If you wanted to kill someone it should've been me !”)

Either Draken dies, or Senju does.

For what else would have Takeomi joined Bonten ? Actually, let me change that question ; where is and what does Senju do in Bad Toman and Manila timelines ?

Because Mikey goes down a dark path in all the timelines so, did she try to stop him ? If yes, is she dead ? The three deities battle might or not have happened (South wouldn’t have the same members if that’s the case – Tenjiku never came to be in Bad Toman and Izana is alive in Manila). And… And if that’s the case or not – why are Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi nowhere to be seen ?

Wakasa and Benkei work in a way that opposes Takeomi. Not only with how they dealt with Black Dragon disbandment but how they dealt with Senju’s death. No matter how it happened, Takeomi joins Mikey after his sister’s death (Bonten), Wakasa and Benkei join Kanto Manji when Senju doesn’t (nowhere to be seen in Bonten).

Difference being, if Senju dies, Wakasa can’t witness Mikey’s dark impulses and can’t talk to him about it. And even if he witnessed it, if Senju is dead, would Wakasa care ? Wakasa must know there’s nothing against the dark impulses so why join Kanto Manji ? They love Senju, their princess, do they want to keep her safe ? Surely. Why take this option then?

It's never stated. So it's interpretation/theory time.

Wakasa would choose Shinichiro over Mikey. In chapter 270, he says "Honeslty speaking, I'm glad that Manjiro has passed. I was worried that you'd be first to die [...] Right now, you're just rotting away", now, Wakasa from the original timeline and from canon-timeline aren't the same. Original timeline Wakasa had the time to accept Shinichiro had lost his brother (and Mikey could perhaps regain consciousness one day, but the more day passes, the more the chances lower), but he couldn't see his friend rot away. His previously bright and charismatic friend was being devoured by sleep deprivation, helplessness and so much more. Hence, if Mikey dying would free Shinichiro from his suffering (although it would also add to it, he wouldn't have to work himself to the bone to take care of Mikey, and would finally have time to process all of what happened to him) then Wakasa is okay with it. Shinichiro is important to him, more than Mikey could ever be.

Wakasa, is the only person Shinichiro talked to about the original timeline. Out of the two people knowing about it, Wakasa is the one Shinichiro went to to tell him about it (Sanzu is the other and he came to Shinichiro asking about it). We don't know if Shinichiro planned to tell more people, and if yes, Wakasa was on the top of his list. Thus, this means Wakasa had heard Shinichiro telling him he killed a man and then himself. Because Mikey died. So that Mikey won't die. And he probably was murdered because of it later on too, because Shinichiro told him the homeless man's last words – because Shinichiro told him everything with every details.

So, when Wakasa finally sees Mikey again, sees the level of destruction he causes, sees that he kills like it's nothing, like he's enjoying it, this boy his friend killed for to keep alive... Well, Wakasa, dragging Benkei along, joined Kanto Manji to keep Mikey alive — because that's what Shinichiro sacrificed himself for, so, so many times. He can only stay near Mikey and try to not have him killed when they're in a world where being murdered is common. Mikey is strong, but he won't ever survive a bullet shot in the wrong place.

For Takeomi though, when he joins Bonten, his sister is dead. After his best friend. He failed the two people who meant the most to him and who appointed him as their second in command because they trusted him. He let them die. It’s not a child game anymore. South signed his death warrant.

And Takeomi hasn’t seen Mikey or Sanzu in years. (They’re the only ones left, he can’t leave them alone. He can’t stay alone.)

That’s the first theory. Second is, he crashes, he and Mikey end up meeting again, he gives him the role as his advisor. Rinse, repeat. The circle continues ; Bonten is at the top of Japan. Mikey is at the top of Japan – and that, even without Kisaki. 

Even without Kisaki.

Is Takeomi on the same level as Kisaki ? I don’t know. Kisaki is the moon to Mikey’s sun. But what was Takeomi to Shinichiro ? Perhaps his rain. And I'll keep going with the ‘perhaps’, because we’re never shown what Takeomi is to Shinichiro, beside a friend. Every meaningful interaction they have is from Takeomi’s POV. In Shinichiro’s chapters, Takeomi is briefly mentioned once when Sanzu gets out of the juvenile center, then when Shinichiro time leaps, he is too focused on Mikey to give (me) us any useful interaction/thought about Takeomi. There’s only one case, “Takeomi…” in chapter 273 but without that ? The start of chapter 269 is shallow. It gives us information on Shinichiro’s relationship with Mikey and Takeomi’s own relationship with his siblings (“I'm like his father figure at this point. Its best from him to learn from his peers” /"What kind of parent would let their kids learn from gang rides ?”) and also a quick information on Black Dragon founding members but that information is basically ‘they’re good friends :)’.

Anyway, Shinichiro nicknamed Takeomi ‘Rain Bringer’. So what does rain symbolize in Japan and does it somewhat fit Takeomi ? Rain is strongly linked to death and rebirth (as water usually is in Japan), to becoming something, someone else. This makes a nice little link with his siblings as Senju’s flowers are sakura (and so is her image color, pink sakura) which also symbolize the cycle of death and rebirth, the fleeting nature of life, how short if is, but also renewal and optimism, and Sanzu got his name from Sanzu no kawa, the three-crossing river, who is a river souls have to cross to get to the afterlife and/or to resurrect.

Takeomi’s other nickname, which wasn’t given by Shinichiro, is God of war. Japan has two gods of war, either Hachiman from shintoism, or Bishamonten from buddhism (since it’s Japan we’re talking about, those two got mixed up a bit but). Hachiman is a god of war and agriculture and was said to determine a samurai’s fate in battle (chapter 230 : “[...] my decisions determined how any conflict would end”). Bishamonten is a god of war and warriors, a punisher of evildoers and the ruler of rain. Bishamonten also carries a chatra (a kind of umbrella that symbolizes kingship, sovereignty).

This, while it gives more tracks to analyze Takeomi, doesn’t answer the question ‘What was Takeomi to Shinichiro’. So, if the story refuses to give us the answer, we have to find some parallels with other characters and see if they fit.

Shinichiro’s...

...Baji

That’s right ! Baji and Takeomi share the same role. For this topic, Sanzu (and Senju) is the anomaly between him, Baji and Mikey.(and although we could say Sanzu is Baji’s parallel, he’s mostly Kakucho’s.)

Let’s start with why Wakui decided to depict them that way.

For Mikey and Baji, it was mostly there to show how long they’ve known each other. Mikey had said they were childhood friends but that doesn’t give us a time indication as to when they met. Then, there is the ‘Baji is behind’ aspect. It isn’t a problem between them, that Baji never wins against Mikey, no matter the years. Baji is just after Mikey and can’t reach the top yet.

For Shinichiro and Takeomi, it’s the same. ‘They’ve known each other for how long?’ ‘Probably since then’. Takeomi is behind Shinichiro who is standing at the top. Takeomi wants to do so too, and Shinichiro helps him to. Takeomi can’t stand here unless Shinichiro holds him still.

Shinichiro doesn’t enjoy being Japan’s number 1 - standing at the top. He became a delinquent to form relationships, to have fun, to deal with his father’s death and his mother’s stay in the hospital. He wasn’t against becoming the strongest but it wasn’t his goal (chapter 142, Shinichiro, in a quick Inui’s flashback: “Is winning really that important ?”). After all, if there’s nobody above you, the only people left are below, and Shinichiro says it, it’s only bullying and that’s meaningless (chapter 230, “Now that there's no one better than us, at this point it's just gonna be bullying the people weaker than us, wouldn't it ?”)

However, the childhood friend dying changes. For Mikey and Baji, the one climbing dies ; for Shinichiro and Takeomi, the one at the top does. How can we interpret this ? We already did for Takeomi – that means the one climbing falls. But for the one already on top ? The person who (tried to) followed him there died on the way. He’s still on top, but now he’s alone. Mikey is never alone, but after Shinichiro, Baji’s death is one of the last indispensable nail on his coffin. A nail aggravating his isolation and loneliness.

Personality wise, Baji and Takeomi are awfully different. Takeomi is awfully different to all characters – he is one of the most flawed and most fans don’t find him any redeeming quality.

Baji does share one of Takeomi’s characteristics, and that’s what (ironically) led to Shinichiro’s death. As Kazutora says in chapter 44 while stealing the bike: “You might complain but you always go along with whatever I'm doing”, Baji follows people. He can do well on his own (Valhalla), but if it wasn’t for his stubbornness in pursuing Mikey around (chapter 39, Mikey: “We lived in the same neighborhood. It’s not like we got along that well. He was always picking fights with me”), they wouldn’t have become childhood friends. They are also younger than their childhood friends (Sanzu and Shinichiro are the oldest).

Baji is Shinichiro in one aspect though: he is the one to have created Toman and to have assigned every founding member their role in the gang. (Baji does it in a flashback of chapter 63, Shinichiro gave Takeomi his position as vice-captain so it won’t surprise me if he gave Wakasa and Benkei their). They both also challenge people stronger than them. (Shinichiro on a daily basis “He'd challenge guys way stronger than him to fights”, Baji with Mikey “He was always picking fights with me. And I handed him his ass every time.”).

If there are parallels between Shinichiro and Baji – are there parallels between Takeomi and Mikey ? The answer is yes. They both don’t know what to do after Shinichiro’s death (and Mikey is even more lost after Baji’s), so much that if you push them in the wrong path, they end up as the number 1 criminal organization of their country (Kisaki for Mikey (Bad toman, Manila) helped to speedrun the process — as we see with Bonten, Mikey’s circle in Bonten (Sanzu “There they are ! The dark impulses ! I've been waiting for this” Haruchiyo) helped too. And the one thing to do to get Takeomi back in his prime is to restore his self-confidence (Bonten, and what he was close to do with Brahman)), they both cope with their emotions the same way as well, ‘I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day, I’ll die’ as one may say. They hide between smiles or blank faces. Little things matter as well, so.. chapter 123, Mikey “I wanna stand out” - they both do (even if Mikey is about 4 in this chapter).

...Kisaki

the fact takeomi is both baji and kisaki is hilarious pls. Those two hated each other so much. Well i wont be surprised if Wakui made it official that Takeomi hates himself

Yeah you read that right. Takeomi is Shinichiro’s Kisaki to the same extent he is Shinichiro’s Baji. Like with Baji, he fills Kisaki’s role while dealing with it differently – they don’t have the same personality so it’s not that surprising.

They’re both the gang’s ‘brain’. Whereas Takeomi was given the position, Kisaki approached Mikey with this exact idea in mind. Kisaki wanted to make Tenjiku Toman (chapter 126, “I'm going to make my own Toman”), and Takeomi was about to transform Brahman into (a much darker) Black Dragon (Chapter 219, Senju: “Brahman’s gotten bigger.. and Takeomi has changed. Now, instead of making brahman ‘stronger’ he thinks that making it ‘bigger’ is more important”  → all the more people to praise him). Both had the same goal too (to become number 1), and end up being criticized for it because of their way to attain it by Mikey (“in order to make Toman bigger I've ignored your underhanded methods until now. But that ends here [...] Your arbitrary decisions will screw up my dream”) and Senju ("I get that not all the jobs we take will be clean. However, thinking about dirtying Brahman for trash like that pisses me off”) when those two asked them are the one who asked them to guide them (chapter 265, Mikey: “there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart. Sometimes that ‘something’ expands and drives me to destroy absolutely everything. Kisaki… I want you to stay by my side with that part of me. I want you to guide me, Kisaki” (and worse, when Kisaki asked him if he’s sure, even if Kisaki doesn’t guide him the way he wants, Mikey answered “yeah, I don’t care.” But then, it was before Takemichi waltzed in his life); chapter 230, Senju: “I want someone who I can trust ! Someone who can give some guidance to the team ! Will you fill that role, big bro ?”). They had different reasons, for sure, Kisaki wanted Hinata’s love, Takeomi wanted (to keep) that idolizing love other people had for him, but those different reasons have the same roots.

They never grew up from their child-mindset.

Kisaki kept that childish logic of ‘Hinata loves Takemichi. Takemichi wants to be Japan's number 1 delinquent. Hinata loves Japan's number 1 delinquent. If I’m Japan's number 1 delinquent, Hinata will love me.’ (and he wanted Hinata’s love because she was the only one interacting with him and being nice to him, she said “He’s a good kid” when everyone else doesn’t, even back in elementary school where he is described as “creepy”) and Takeomi kept that childhood wish of being important, needed, validated.

Now, they turned out differently because of a very essential point :

Chapter 182, first chapter of Kisaki’s flashback : “When I was in elementary school, they called me a child prodigy.”

Chapter 230, Takeomi’s chapter : “Whether it be in sports, or studies, I was just average. I was but a normal child, not special at all.”

Kisaki was made aware from an early age that he was smart. He is as arrogant as much his intelligence allows him to be (sure, it’s insufferable, but he is as smart as he says). He is well-assured of his capacities and is the one to make his life decisions, he is very independent from Mikey or anyone else. Kisaki has an actual self-esteem. He doesn’t under or overestimate himself. He knows what he does, he knows he is the one doing so. Takeomi is the opposite. He’s too arrogant, doesn’t know in what he is smart, but the others say so, so he must be, he makes his decisions while looking at Shinichiro – he got there thanks to Shinichiro. And Kisaki got there thanks to Takemichi, although in another way. Kisaki also followed Takemichi around. By stalking him, but still. And unlike Takeomi, Kisaki is very conscious of it when he lies, it is but another strategy to manipulate people.

Kisaki is Takeomi if people had noticed and talked about his capacities in his childhood. Takeomi is what Kisaki could’ve been if people never praised him, if he never finished number one at any national mock exam and if he became childhood friends with Takemichi (instead of stalking him).

Both of them corrupted Toman and Brahman (and Black Dragon if Shinichiro hadn’t been Shinichiro). “Brahman is closer to a group of adult gangsters than they are a motorcycle gang. Some nasty rumors follow them, too.” (chapter 215, Inui); “Money is power. How valuable do you think your ‘strength’ is !?” (chapter 229, Takeomi); but are also the reason why they became huge organizations. They are the reasons why Brahman (almost) and Toman fell into criminal organizations (although Toman would’ve anyway).

They also both first got into a gang when they were 13. (Black Dragon was created the 22nd February 1995 – Takeomi was born the 10th march 1981 (the year after Shinichiro’s own birth btw, Shinichiro who is the oldest Black Dragon founding member), so he was about to turn 14 BUT HE WASN'T, and in 2005 Kisaki is 13 since he was born the 20th january 1992 (two years younger than Mikey, one year younger than Takemichi))

...Draken.

Shinichiro and Mikey both have their “This is the breeze of a new era !”(chapter 230)/”I’m gonna seize this world” (chapter 223) speech that only Takeomi/Draken could hear ; and they’re both vice-captain/second in command.

When Black Dragon gets officially disbanded (their final garthering), Wakasa and Benkei shed a tear or two, Shinichiro being the crybaby he is, has a lot of tears running down his face, and Takeomi… too. Takeomi is the only one with his eyes close. He grins his teeth. He can’t accept this reality, can’t look at it. Even if Shinichiro talked about it with him beforehand. And… it’s the same with Draken. Not that Mikey informed him before saying Toman was over (and they didn’t have a second generation to lend the name too, as opposed to Black Dragon), but with how he reacted. On paper, he said he agreed with it (even after his “What ? What’re you goin’ on all of a sudden ?” in chapter 189 which is the same as Takeomi’s “Disband !? But why !? I mean, we just became Japan's number one !” in chapter 230, and Mikey also disbanded Toman after becoming Japan’s number 1), that since it was Mikey’s choice, he had “no objection to the leader's decision” (chapter 189), but in reality, not only do we learn it’s not true when they dug up the time capsule (chapter 198, Draken reading his letter : “I’m at a crossroads in my life right now. Toman disbanded. […] I actually regret it. Toman is everything to me. Im sure everyone in toman felt that way ? I’m worried… I cried”), but he also joins Brahman. There was nothing prior to that revelation pointing at it. In Bonten he has his shop, he says “I’m retired” and “I left everything i had back in Tokyo Manji” to South (chapter 211) in his letter he wrote “So, I'm leaving all of my regrets in here” and that’s what teenager Draken tried to do. But he joined Brahman instead. And we learn why after, when he says in a flashback to Mitsuya (chapter 238) : “Have you grown accustomed to living life without Toman ? Because I can't seem to move on from it. That’s why I think i’m gonna go back to the life of deliquent. I’ll continue following Mikey [...]”. Draken couldn’t leave Toman, his whole life behind. Then why did he in Bonten ? Because Senju died. Not only must it have affected him, but it affected Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei. And, yes, we can say Senju died in Bonten regardless of the fact it’s never said. Why ? Bonten is a memorial for Izana, its symbol, its members’ tattoo come from Izana’s earrings and the (天) ten of Bonten 梵天 from Tenjiku 天竺, the (梵) bon of Bonten 梵天 comes from Brahman 梵. The executives, advisor, second and third in command, are either former Tenjiku member or Senju’s brother (or both for Sanzu but again, can we really say he was a Tenjiku member when it’s clear he was acting as a spy on Mikey’s unaware behalf..) - and its leader had a deep relationship with those two as well. There’s no need for Senju to have the same role as Izana in Bonten if she’s not dead. So, Senju’s death is the answer as to why Draken utterly left Toman (and Mikey) behind in Bonten timeline (he loves Mikey very much but he can't lose any more loved ones). But Draken’s wish to get back to Mikey until then, his refusal to abandon Toman, was what led him and Takeomi to understand each other. That’s what led to Takeomi recruiting Draken (because he must have been the one to come up with the idea, like he is the one to have thought about recruiting Takemichi). That’s what leads Takeomi to get this angry at his death. Not only is Takeomi is partially responsible for it, Draken is essential to bring back Mikey, and Takeomi is not. And so, “If you wanted to kill someone it should've been me !” (chapter 225). And also why he becomes even more angry when Mikey arrives (“Fuck off, Kanto gang ! You guys abandoned Draken !”). Takeomi takes his role as Senju’s second in command very seriously, she asked him to guide the team and he accepted, he swore to give his all for them (chapter 230). He is the one telling her to keep cool and not being driven by her emotions (chapter 218), which is ironic because he’s the one to act before thinking after Draken’s death whereas Senju tries to calm him down (and fails).

Kanto being “a three-way state of equilibrium between these three teams and has entered the three deities era” (Yamagishi, chapter 208) was not an innocent choice when it is also revealed in chapter 226 by Senju that “Benkei and Waka. Before the first generation of Black Dragon happened, these two divided the Kanto region. Kanto used to be divided into two parts”. South takes the role of Benkei, and Senju, who created Brahman for the only purpose of stopping Mikey the same way Kodo Rengo was formed to stop Ragnarok’s expansion, takes the role of Wakasa. This is also backed up by their fighting style and body type. Mikey takes Shinichiro’s role, but whereas Shinichiro ‘defeated’ Wakasa and Benkei and became their friends and leader which lead to them ruling over the region, Mikey crushed South/Rokuhara Tandai and made Senju disband Brahman, for the same result (Takemichi could’ve taken on Shinichiro’s role but the power of friendship can’t do everything). And Draken is in Takeomi’s role. Not Sanzu. (because Sanzu doesn’t care about Toman while Draken just wants it back.). Furthermore, I like the fact South, in the final timeline, “is a heavyweight champion of foreign martial arts. When he visits Japan, he hangs out at the Gojo gym” because not only does South finally have friends (like Senju, he is friendless in canon-timeline) but because Benkei’s dream is “to produce a MMA champion from Gojo gym”, which while not being exactly the same thing is still close enough for me.

A difference between them worth mentioning is that while Draken is the oldest of Toman founding members, Takeomi is the youngest of Black Dragon founding members.

(+ Inui, Kokonoi:

The other character introduced as refusing the end of Black Dragon is Inui. He's a character who is developed alongside Kokonoi who can't accept Akane's death.

But whereas Takeomi seemingly doesn't do anything by himself to get out of his vicious circle and debts, Inui actively tries to keep Black Dragon alive. He even takes Shinichiro’s shop as his hideout (with Kokonoi), although it has been abandoned. Nobody else came to keep that place alive – it reminds them of a too painful reality. And it could've with Inui too, but Inui has only good memories of this place (chapter 143, Inui: “All those senpai who’d stop by were so dazzling and awesome. [...] I heard so many stories in this bike shop from our senpai. They all had so much fun talking about their old leader [...] Even as an adult, he could still laugh about the dumb stuff he did years ago together with his friends.”). Not to say the others don’t; but Inui is able to see pass the pain of this happiness unable to come back.

Inui is the first out of the three to let it go. He finds Takemichi and realizes that.. maybe he could live without Black Dragon. It takes a bit but Bonten Inui has let it go completely, unlike Kokonoi and Takeomi, both going deeper and deeper into criminality ; both still running away from reality, refusing to look back and see what they loved isn't there anymore.

Inui heals in Bonten. He doesn't in Bad Toman, where he's with Hakkai who became BD 11th leader. He doesn't in Manila, where Izana who was the 8th BD leader and the first leader Inui worked under comes back. Always running after BD shadow. Manila Inui met Takemichi, but Manila Inui wasn't separated from Kokonoi, not for years, not for more than a decade, since Tenjiku merged with Toman. They probably didn't have their 'Akane is dead, I'm Seishu!' talk, and if they did, it clearly didn't change anything.

We don't know how Inuis family life is. We know his parents couldn't pay for his sister's surgery and she ended up dying. We know he had had to witness his best friend lose himself in the prospect to make money. We know somewhen, he met Shinichiro. Spent time with him at his shop. Perhaps to stay away from home ? Home who burnt him? Home who took away his sister ? Meeting Shinichiro did a lot to him accepting his sister's death, surely. A bit of positivity in his life. But nobody was there for him when Shinichiro himself died. When Izana disappeared nobody knew where and the Haitani Brothers left Black Dragon when it became to hard to deal with, leading it to fade away (chapter 105, Kokonoi: “They ended up in a tough spot when the Haitani brothers of Roppongi came to power… So they ditched the gang, and disappeared.”).

Inui learnt about it after getting out of juvie. He went to juvie for Black Dragon. For Izana. This can't be the end of it. So he makes Taiju the 10th leader. He's not loyal to him because he's Taiju, he's loyal to him because it's the Black Dragon leader (chapter 143, Inui: “That good old Black Dragon I used to know was no more. I panicked when Black Dragon died for a while. That’s when I sought help from Shiba Taiju.”). But the Christmas Showdown happens, and Inui witnesses the force of nature that is Takemichi Hanagaki. And he's like Shinichiro was.

He leaves Black Dragon behind when he puts on Toman uniform for the first time. Black Dragon won't ever leave him, but he can let it go and cherish the memories he has. He didn't get to be in Black Dragon when he wanted to (chapter 143, Inui: “I’ve always admired such a team. That’s why I joined Blakc Dragon. But by the time I joined Black Dragon it was the eightth generation. It was shit.”) and that changed him (as being in a gang changed Takeomi) (chapter 143: ”During the eighth and ninth generations.. our gang did extortion, robbed people, sold drugs, all sorts of heinoius stuff. There was no trace left of the gang’s original intentions. And before i knew it, the gang’s evil had an influence on me. I landed myself in juvie.”), but he can maybe experience a similar thing with Takemichi, or maybe it'll be completely different. It's okay, he has turned the page. Now, he has to bring back Kokonoi and make him turn the page as well. Except Inui had a slow and nice 'turn the page', while Kokonoi won't.

Kokonoi needs more time, Kokonoi can't let Akane go just yet, even if Inui yells at him to stop acting as if he was seeing his sister instead of himself. Inui practically slaps him up. He has failed during Tenjiku, but this failure planted a seed in Kokonoi's mind which finally bloomed during the battle with Kanto Manji. It's a more abrupt realization than Inui got, but it doesn't hurt him. Akane tells him to let go, that she's glad he did all of that for her but that he doesn't need to continue – she's dead. Seishu is not. And even if that's meaningless, even if he knows he's, they're, going to lose, he goes help Inui against Wakasa and Benkei.

Takeomi's realization of having done something wrong falls upon him all at once. A part of it. His realization concerning Brahman, about Senju and Sanzu is there ("I've failed Brahman principles"(chapter 230)/"But me going crazy and Haruchiyo going astray[...]"(chapter 241) and it hurt him. Acknowledging his mistakes to himself and to others, to Senju, made him cry.)

But where is his realization about Black Dragon and Shinichiro ?)

But not Shinichiro’s Takemichi.

Takeomi isn’t Shinichiro’s Takemichi because for starters, Takemichi is Shinichiro as it is constantly repeated throughout the story.

Takemichi changed Mikey’s life (if it wasn’t for him, he would’ve kept listening to Kisaki, kept thinking he only needed darkness, he would’ve killed Kazutora (chapter 265)). Takeomi didn’t change much Shinichiro’s. Not the same way Takemichi did at least. Mikey, like Takeomi, needed someone to guide him, to follow around, whether this person was Takemichi or Kisaki depends entirely on the timeline’s events. Shinichiro could guide himself, he didn’t need somebody to show him the way. So what ? Why does it matter? It matters because all the friendships in this story have an impact on the characters it concerns. Whether it be the Twin Dragons, Izana and Kakucho, Inui and Kokonoi, Mikey is changed by Pah (going to jail), Kazutora (Shinichiro’s death), Baji (him siding with Kazutora and his own death), Draken (“Draken is Mikey’s heart. He compensates for what he’s lacking”) (not Mitsuya though. Which is very sad. I want a concrete example of how Mìtsuya impacted Mikey's life!!)… And the Black Dragon are out of this rule. Especially Shinichiro. Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei all changed because of him (in good for Wakasa & Benkei, in what could’ve been good but ended up bad for Takeomi) but the other way around isn’t shown to be true. Wakasa & Benkei became friends, really good friends since they own a gym together in several timelines, and Takeomi got something to fill his lack of self-esteem which then got taken away from him without him having learnt how to cope with it in the meantime.

And Wakasa & Benkei aren’t supposed to have a gym in canon-timeline. Wakasa is a gang leader in the original timeline – supposedly he only changed vocation because Shinichiro told him about the original timeline and he decided not to go down that path. But then, when did Shinichiro had the time, during his time in the past, to tell Wakasa about his time leap ? He barely stayed one day. So did Wakasa, in the original timeline, came back to the illegal world so he can produce/obtain money and help Shinichiro out ? We don’t know what Benkei does in the original timeline, but I’d find it hard to believe he’s not with Wakasa. As for Takeomi, his situation is most likely the same, he’s in debt (which would explain that brief “Takeomi…” from chapter 272 from Shinichiro before he has to focus on the date, and very much alive Mikey). Or, if we want to look at another option, since Shinichiro got into “shaddy stuffs” (as he says in chapter 270), they could’ve followed and got back into delinquency. If they did it fast enough, Takeomi probably didn't get to the point of having debts. If you add the “Join my gang, Shin. With you we'd be the top gang in the world” of Wakasa (same chapter)  to any of this option, and the lack of negative response from Shinichiro you end up with one terrifying timeline where Shinichiro could have become, actually, a bad guy (or kill himself anyway).

What did all three of them do to make Shinichiro grow, positively or not ? Nothing (concrete that is, his admired/respected people are ‘’the Black Dragon First Generation Members‘’). Shinichiro’s entire personality, and that’s one of the only if not the only character, is centered exclusively around his family, mostly but not only, Mikey. He is changed by his father’s death and his mother’s hospitalization and starts to be a delinquent, he is changed by Mikey’s accident, by Emma running away, by his grandfather dying, by Mikey’s death and is so broken he is ready to believe in time travel, maybe was he also changed by Izana’s reaction when he discovered they weren’t blood-related. Only Wakasa is here in his flashback. No Benkei, only a mention of Takeomi. That’s not right. They’re his friends, why aren’t they here ? Why do we have so little information ?

Shinichiro stays the same until Mikey has his accident. He isn’t shaped by anybody else, not even his childhood friend whom he has known for more than a decade.

Shinichiro didn’t need guidance like Mikey did, but he didn’t need to stagnate either.

– which beg the question : Why did Wakui decide to put the exact same kanji, pronounced the exact same way in both Takeomi (武臣) and Takemichi (武道)’s name ? As a writer, making this decision means something (most of the time), alas, i didn’t find what. (Takemichi like Takeomi has self-esteem problems at the beginning of the story because he got beaten up as an middle school student by Kiyomasa but other than that..)

What I did find was Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi pages in the third guide book. There’s still not much about Shinichiro (he is listed as all three’s admired/respected person), but there’s a bit more about their relationship with Takeomi. First, the one thing that actually surprised me : Wakasa and Benkei are listed as Takeomi’s disliked/feared people. Then, Wakui was kind to explain since it’s followed by “(They look down on me )”. Now, to see if it’s true or not (if they do think that, or if it’s just Takeomi (who must be such an unreliable narrator)) we have to take a look at Wakasa and Benkei’s own page.

Takeomi is only mentioned once for Wakasa, in his ‘a day in his life’ :

“I had a one-week holiday, so I went on a quick trolling trip to Okinawa. I wanted to enjoy fishing alone, but Takeomi and Benkei came along. The aim was yellowfin tuna. Takeomi got tired of not being able to catch anything after 3 hours on the boat and said he wanted to go home, while Benkei was seasick and exhausted. I knew I shouldn't have brought them along.”

We learnt that Takeomi isn’t that patient (to be fair, fishing isn’t something he likes to do, unlike Wakasa) but not that much is said about how Wakasa really thinks about him and him alone. He is irritated by both of his friends, who ruined his holiday, equally. You can’t say if he looks down on Takeomi or not.

For Benkei, Takeomi is also mentioned once and it’s in his ‘a day in his life’ as well :

“The gym is closed today. Takeomi persistently invited me out for a drink. I usually don't go, but we went to an izakaya together. His drinking is long. At first its fun, but as we get deeper into it, he starts to brag. He talks about the Brahman Senju created as if he created it. He has always been like that. I remember he used to brag about Shinichiro's achievements as if he himself had done them. Shinichiro liked him, including such a bad part of him.”

It gives more than Wakasa’s did. First, Takeomi, although he dislikes/fears them, still tags along with both of them when he can. Second, not that much of a news, Takeomi brags and takes on Senju’s achievements, the same way he took on Shinichiro’s. Third, Shinichiro was aware of it and didn’t stop him ?

While we can say Benkei is probably irritated by it, like for Wakasa we can’t say he looks down on Takeomi.

It pains me that there’s not much interaction between them. You can say Wakasa and Benkei are friends – but do they consider Takeomi a friend ? I don’t think he’s still labeled ‘Shinichiro’s friend’ in their mind, but – especially with Takeomi’s fall – they aren’t close, have they ever been. They don’t have that kind of relationship like Toman’s founding members have for example. Perhaps they did once.

Takeomi’s page, in my opinion at least, is the one that gives the more information on the character it‘s about. He likes Akechi Mitsuhide because he has the same birthday as him (sure why not – Akechi Mitsuhide, to make it very short, a general in the Heian period who attempted to become Shogun, and whose reign as Shogun lasted thirteen days), he dislikes making efforts (makes sense, he makes others’ achievements his own, which also leads to:), his special talent is taking advantages of people, and his dream is to be a multimillionaire (he is also ranked number 1 best to ‘Who has a way with words ?’).

Except confirming what I was already thinking, it still doesn’t offer much (but i’m so glad it has been explecitely written). But his failure story, that’s, well, another story.

And all of that offers a great transition, but let me change the topic first –

Family - the first thing you learn to run away from

(You were probably waiting for it from the start, sorry it took so long for me to talk about it !)

Takeomi’s failure story goes like this :

“I was their father figure. My father was busy because we are a motherless family. I was strict with Haruchiyo because he’s a man. He cut my face with a knife one day and left the house. He’s a hell of a fucking brother. I vowed that one day I would let Senju punish him.”

Sanzu gave him the scar.

Worse, looking at the timeline, Takeomi doesn’t have the scar when Black Dragon is founded (in February 1995 Sanzu would have been 4 so, not that surprising) but he gained it along the way, before Black Dragon disbandment (in late spring, early summer 1999, so Sanzu was either 8 or 9 (Takeomi was 18 – they have a 9 years gap)). That’s… young. What could have pushed Sanzu to do this ? Did Takeomi really do such a poor job raising him, Sanzu decided that attacking him was the only way out or something like that ? Sanzu, who says to Senju, “I wish I knew how to talk back to big bro like how Mikey and Baji do…” (chapter 241), cut his brother’s face with a knife before the age of nine? (he was nine when he said that, so perhaps he did stand up for himself before but then he gradually stopped (or all at once, it depends on how Takeomi reacted to being cut i suppose.)).

This leads to a question : did any outsider of their family know about it ? Sanzu probably wasn’t running around yelling about what he did, but did Takeomi complain (to Shinichiro) or did he keep his mouth shut about how his scar came to be. Both ? Complained about how hard it is to raise Sanzu (who ran away after what he did) while saying his new scar is from a fight he has gotten into ?(of course he didn’t get his scar from a 4-9 years old. Who do you take him for, he wouldn't let anyone, let alone a child, scar him like that.) Since we know Sanzu doesn’t go home when he’s in Toman (chapter 206, Muto : “What's with that look in your eye ? You don't have anywhere you belong ?”), it may not be an unusual thing for him to run away. (Which begs the question: what does his grandmother and father think about it ? Are they even aware of it ?)

Looking again at the timeline, what did Mikey and Takemichi do during the final reset ? They came back in October 1998 (Sanzu 8, Takeomi 17), yet Takeomi has his scar during the wedding. So either Sanzu cut his face before (and be 8 years old at most), or Mikey and Takemichi failed to prevent it.

this baby cut his brother’s face.

Talking about scars… We never got to see how Takeomi reacted when Sanzu got his. Did he blame him (he thought Sanzu was the one who broke the toy plane before Senju confesses she is in chapter 241) ? Did he just not do anything and left (oh sweet guilt) ? Did he decide to stay away from Mikey a bit ? Did he go to the hospital ?

For both Sanzu cutting Takeomi’s face and the toy plane incident, I pity Senju for having to witness it and feel guilty for not doing anything, but also because she knows sometimes she should be punished and not Sanzu. Her and Hakkai should get along well (once he stops freezing everytime girls talk to him).

But above all, I pity all of them for witnessing how the Sano family works. How, even though they also have absent parents, they’re healthy. How Mikey talks back to Shinichiro, how Emma loves her brother without feeling unwanted or lonely, how Shinichiro knows how to raise his siblings even with his family life, his parents' condition. And my heart ached the first time I read chapter 273 and Sanzu called Shinichiro ‘Shin-nii’ – thing Mikey never did. They addressed Takeomi as ‘Take-nii’ in their childhood, but they stopped. (Sanzu calls Shinichiro ‘Shinichiro-kun’ in the original timeline, which makes you wonder why, but I think he did since he was young and stopped because, for one, Shinichiro is too busy with his study and taking care of Mikey, and two, Sanzu went to juvie.) And Sanzu goes directly to Shinichiro after getting his memories back. He shares his confusion with Shinichiro, even if what he says seems unbelievable (even for himself) because he trusts him and knows he can share his worries with him. And Shinichiro answered to this 13 years old needing reassurance by telling him he killed a man.

I’d give a lot to see how the Akashi father is. I’d give a lot to see how Takeomi was raised. Because with Shinichiro it’s easy. Mama Sano and Papa Sano, for the little we’ve seen of them, seemed like good, stable people. They must have raised Shinichiro great until they couldn’t anymore. We don’t know when Mikey’s mother got to the hospital, but his father died when he was 3, so Shinichiro at least spent 13 years of his life with (guidance from) his father. Sure, it would’ve been better if it be longer, but it’s already more than.. Taiju (which, with some calculation, was 8 when his mother died). But we don’t know for the Akashi. We only know that Sanzu and Senju don’t call themselves Akashi. That Senju says “ We’re the mysterious siblings !” which is funny but makes me think about ‘let’s not talk about whatever’s going on in our family/at home’ which is not funny. Think of it, if the Akashi parents were the same as the Sano, they wouldn’t have turned out that way. It’s not fair to compare families or even people but to be fair they’re characters so they’re meant to be compared. And maybe the Sano siblings would have turned out like the Akashi siblings if their dad survived and their mom still died, who knows.

Takeomi didn’t take Senju and Sanzu to gang meetings, or anything gang-related whereas Shinichiro did. There could be two reasons (which can both be true at the same time) : 1, gang stuffs are dangerous, who would bring kids along, seriously, Shinichiro ? (chapter 269, Takeomi “are you stupid ? what kind of parents would let their kids learn from gang rides ?” after Shinichiro said “I'm like his father figure at this point. It's best from him to learn from his peers”) 2, it was the only thing he had that wasn’t family/home, where he could be himself and not have to care about his siblings (and be completely crushed under his responsibilities and doing a poor job because of it--). The fact he didn’t isn’t that important, Sanzu didn’t want to be part of a gang to start with (chapter 277 : “Nah! I don’t wanna be a delinquent!”), he only joined Toman after having his memories from the original timeline back and talking with Shinichiro about it (and Shinichiro dying). But Black Dragon, like for Shinichiro, was Takeomi’s life and by not bringing Sanzu and Senju in it, he didn’t interact with them much, he let them out of his life. Mikey and Emma “followed him [Shinichiro] everywhere” (chapter 109, Mikey), Takeomi needed his me-time, far away from his siblings. He couldn’t, unlike Shinichiro, put on the ‘perfect big brother’ role/façade.

Since he left his house often, Sanzu was left in charge (chapter 241, Takeomi “[...] you have to set a good example for her”; chapter 249, Sanzu (to Senju) “Did you forget who raised you [...]?”). If Takeomi had to take care on their father's role, it’s easy to understand that he delegated his big brother role to Sanzu. This was clearly not a good move, but Takeomi back then didn’t understand how strict he was with Sanzu, nor how unfair it was that he would blamed him for things Senju had done (following the rule of ‘you’re the older, you should have taught her better’) (perhaps Takeomi was so strict with Sanzu because he lashed out all of his self-anger/hatred on him; there's also the fact he may have recognized himself (his childhood self at least) in Sanzu – shitty move, but as a professional of denial, Takeomi might not have even been aware of it). But Takeomi wasn’t meant to be their father figure in the first place, and he could have failed his big brother role as well even if their life had been different, but he shouldn’t have had to endorse the responsibility of raising his siblings, had he been given the choice or not. It’s also somewhat ironic, that Takeomi did take on their father’s role the same way their father did – he left home for work and everything to the oldest child who stayed. Just like Shinichiro took on his father’s role. Not only because Shinichiro spent time with his siblings, which their father seems like he would have done, but also because, like his father, he gifts Mikey a toy, and tragedy soon follows (his father’s death in the car accident, Sanzu’s scars or Mikey’s accident). He was also a crybaby – although his father never cried in public (chapter 263, Mikey: “My father also cried easily ?”, his mom: “I wonder if he ever cried in public? That man was hopeless”). Mikey looked up to him, like he looks up to his father. I honestly think Mikey, who was also a crybaby as a child (chapter 263, Mikey’s mom: “[...] you too… used to be a crybaby when you were younger. All you did was cry and wail.”), started to stop crying (in public and in private alike) after his father’s death. Sure, he was very young when it happened, but children lack life experience not intelligence, sometimes they’re very capable of reading the room, and Mikey, who probably didn’t understand what was happening, knew that weeping wouldn’t help his already crying brother and mother. Mikey saw his father as this very strong, capable man who protected the family and decided to take on that role by being ‘strong’, by not crying and by beating people up (chapter 263, Mikey: “I am not going to cry. That's why, mom, I'm going to protect you, so come back home”; “I met that big guy from east elementary’s third grade. And I beat him up !”, his mom: “You're so strong, Manjiro. Just like your father.”). He has one memory of his father, where he hands him a superhero figurine – and what are fathers if not the superhero of their young children ? 

Sanzu was a better big brother than Takeomi was. Sanzu, like Takeomi in the past, doesn’t want Senju to be in a gang and much less a gang leader (chapter 216, Senju : “Haruchiyo doesn't like the fact I’m the head of Brahman. He doesn't like that I'm the strongest and that Takeomi endorses me.”). “Because of my mistakes, Takeomi got mad at Haruchiyo even so Haruchiyo was always nice to me” (Senju, chapter 241) ; he could have. He could have let out the anger he had on Senju since he couldn’t talk back to Takeomi. He didn’t, because Sanzu was a kind child, but also because seeing how Takeomi favored Senju (in his actions, this does not mean he loved her more) if he had learnt Sanzu got angry at her or even made her cry… Sanzu was already aware of how his brother acted when he got angry.

I refuse to believe “The curse Shinichiro created by killing the time leaper, that is what my ‘dark impulses’ are. It affected everyone around him” (chapter 274) as the reason behind Sanzu and Mikey’s behavior. Simply because, if it did, then why was Wakasa, Benkei, Emma, heck even Sano grandpa, not affected by it ? And why was Kazutora ? The only way I accept it is with ‘it affected Sanzu because he was Shinichiro’s trigger, so they shared the power and by such, Sanzu had to carry a bit of the curse’ (im not going to talk about mikey’s case here but i also came up with a more complex reason as to why he was affected, that is not just ‘he was close to him’). However, we don’t know what the curse does. The homeless man only said ‘’curse you’’ (chapter 271), any explanation from a character who isn’t the homeless man can’t be taken as the perfect truth. Anyway, all of that to say that behind Sanzu (and Mikey’s) actions, there was a bit of genuinity. The curse pushed them to act, but a part of them wanted to act, the curse made them unable to stop (and think of alternative solutions), worse, the curse made them like it. (okay, it’s theory time heck it. the curse feeds on tragedy, the more tragedy, the more it grows, the more it grows, the more hungry it gets, the more it wants tragedy, the more it triggers tragedy. And by feeding on tragedy i mean all the negative feelings that go hand-in-hand with. Sadness, despair, helplessness, rage, regrets, guilt… It clings to someone who already has a tragic life (Mikey, Sanzu, … Kazutora,…) and it worsens it. End of theory time.) ANYWAY. All of that to say that, this ?

Was something Sanzu would (without the curse) regret, but did anyway because he couldn’t stop it (because of the curse) because a part of him wanted to (not necessarily, hit Senju with a pipe, but get a pay-back from what he had had to go through as a child. Who knows what he would have done to Takeomi if Wakui decided to not drop our ‘God of War’ by the road before the last fight of the story). And he says things her ‘always nice to her’ brother wouldn’t have said (especially) to her such as “fighting all flamboyantly like that.. you buzzing disgusts the hell out of me. You disgusting fly !” (chapter 248)

Sanzu knows Senju isn't responsible for Mikey's curse, but he learnt about it when he was 13; not before (i'm not saying that's why he hit her, that’s not my best transition). Who knows, maybe somewhere in his mind he did blame Senju before memories of the original timeline flew back to him and he realized whether the toy had broken or not, Mikey would've turned up like that either way. This also begs the question : what did Sanzu think about the accident, before Shinichiro admitted what really happened on that day, before he got his memories from the original timeline back ? What did he think about staying friends with the one who scarred him for life ? Did he really wholeheartedly agree to stay friends for life with Mikey to Shinichiro?

Speaking of the original timeline, Takeomi is said to be on “non-speaking terms” with Sanzu. But let’s put everything back into context : Sanzu “used a damn katana and slashed all of his friends” (Baji ; chapter 270) (which also doesn't support the 'it's because of the curse' explanation or the "You can't erase the curse! [...] I've been following Mikey as if I was in a trance [...]"(chapter 275) of Sanzu. Because there wasn't a curse in the original timeline to 'explain' Sanzu's behavior), and Baji himself says to Shinichiro “Why do you give a fuck about somebody like him ?”(same chapter). Whether Takeomi blames himself for how Sanzu turned out or not, Sanzu at best hurt his friends, at worst killed them. And in this timeline, Takeomi still has Senju to look after – hence, he can’t let Sanzu interact with her, and he refuses to talk with him after what he did (whereas in Bonten, Senju is dead and Takeomi came back in the game and ends up accepting murder as part of his, their, life) Takeomi is also against Mikey killing (South), as he says “Are you even human!? There’s no reason for you to go that far, y’know?!”(chapter 233) which Mikey kindly answers to by kicking Takeomi in the chin and saying “you're better off dead, too.”(same chapter). Shinichiro, like Sanzu, justifies it ; “He just attacked them because they were talking shit about Manjiro. Isn’t that how Haruchiyo is ?”. Would Shinichiro have justified it in another timeline, though ? If Mikey was okay, if Emma was there, if his grandfather didn’t die… Would he have accepted Sanzu’s actions ? Shinichiro in the original timeline, is in deep, deep denial about his entire life collapsing around him.

One second he’s working at a job he likes and wants to do, the other he is a university student, a nurse and his brother’s main and only caregiver. One second, he lives with what is left of his family, the other his brother is his only family left, and he can’t leave the hospital. Not only did his life go downhill after Mikey’s accident, he must blame himself for it too. Why did Mikey have his accident ? Because he didn’t want to lend the Concorde to Baji and the rest. Who bought the Concorde as a gift for him ? Shinichiro. He guided his brother, the boy he raised, to his death, and the girl he raised is nowhere to be seen (which might have been in part his fault since he was too busy studying for Mikey to pay attention to her), even though he had promised to his father to look after the both of them (chapter 269, “Father [...] I’ll take care of both Manjiro and Emma for you.”). His parents, his grandparents, he had nothing left. But Mikey is still alive. So he keeps on focusing on that, only that. Mikey can’t interact with people, nobody knows if he is aware of his surroundings, but he is alive and that fact alone is the only thing keeping Shinichiro from facing reality, from realizing that at this point, he is his family on his own, it’s the only thing keeping him going. He has to keep Mikey alive, to the price of his health (chapter 270, Baji: “In order to get the qualifications to be a caregiver he had to study while working in the hospital. I’m sure he doesn't even have time to sleep, his life is a total mess”; Wakasa: “I was worried that you'd be the first to die [...] Right now you're just rotting away”), his money, his morals (same chapter, Shinichiro: “I've gotten involved in many shady businesses. So I could help Manjiro in whatever he needed. I've done whatever therapies and even paid a lot for those suspicious religious groups”) anything, anything for Mikey. So of course, Haruchiyo was justified in his actions, no matter what Baji or Takeomi might say (plus, Baji says all kinds of things (“He isn't right in the head.”) but he still tags along and interact with Haruchiyo, he doesn’t fool many people. Then again, does Baji have any friends ? If “there’s nothing great about middle school”, he can’t meet Chifuyu, and who knows if he met any other founding members, if he met Kazutora at least.) because killing for Mikey is exactly what Shinichiro does.

The homeless man tells him to gain the power he killed his predecessor, and for a man who has lost everything, killing isn’t much. Except it doesn’t work. Shinichiro doesn’t go back to the past instantly after killing this man. His last hope is gone. And it wasn’t even one – he helplessly believed in the idea of time leaping because it was the only thing left he could believe in. So he kills himself. There’s nothing left anyway. Wakasa, Benkei, Takeomi, Haruchiyo, Baji ? Not enough. And then it works. He’s back. He saves Mikey. Then when he unexpectedly goes back to his present (2003) and goes look for the homeless man, he doesn’t find him. Probably to talk, to thank him. But the thing is, he killed this man. But not once is he seen feeling guilt about this. Denial ? Maybe. Or maybe it’s because he finds it justifiable. He killed for Mikey, for his baby brother, for his own sanity. One doesn’t mean the other isn’t true – he could justify it to stay in denial. He dies too soon after for him to learn to cope with what he did anyway.

There’s also the fact that out of everyone, he goes to Wakasa to tell him about the original timeline. Not Takeomi (who isn’t doing well in any point anyway), and not Benkei (who… we don’t know), but Wakasa. And he confesses his murder to him (as we’re told by Mikey, chapter 268 : “I was informed by Wakasa” ; chapter 274 : “the curse Shinichiro created by killing the time leaper… that is what my dark impulses are.”), the same way he confessed what he did in his previous timeline and what he thought of doing (“In these four years, I've gotten involved in many shady businesses [...] Maybe I should kill them all for deceiving me.” (chapter 270)).

So, while in the original timeline, Takeomi focuses on Senju even if that means neglecting Sanzu, Shinichiro focuses on Mikey which leads to Emma running away (to where, we don’t know). And those two little sisters fit their role differently. While Emma cooks (she is seen several time cooking; and to Draken after he asked her if she was housekeeping “well, gramps is old and…” (chapter 263)), likes cute things (the teddy bear she wanted and Draken got for her birthday), isn’t a fighter and in the final timeline becomes a housewife, Senju chases Mikey, Baji, and Sanzu around, wants to play with their toys (Mikey’s concorde), trains at Wakasa and Benkei’s gym and is a gang member. Takemichi refrains her to buy punk clothes and even though she still buys a lot of items, she prefers Brahman’s uniform and she goes shopping because Takeomi tells her to (“We’re shopping in Harajuku because Takeomi told me to ‘do some girly stuff sometimes.’ This is his card.”) and gives her his credit card (whose money comes from Brahman’s activities, so as to whether it’s his or Senju’s decisions leading to him being rich..). They’re both feminine, but Senju is a bit more of a tomboy in what she likes. Emma doesn’t feel lonely (“Since then, I've never felt lonely. Not even once”)(she has friends her age, such as Hinata), Senju clings to Takemichi the moment he joins Brahman (“Brahman’s full of old guys, so I’m glad people my age are joining”(chapter 216);”So can i think of us as friends now ?”(chapter 219))(seemingly, her only friends remain Mikey and Baji, whom she likely hasn't seen in years, even before Valhalla arc). They are also the only girls Takemichi saw in bra (chapter 9/chapter 216) but uh.. I don't want to know if that was made on purpose or not. But it joins the feminine/tomboy dichotomy – when Emma undressed, she had something else in mind (which, fortunately, didn't happen) and she has lace underwear, whereas Senju is very uninhibited (“Oh, it's fine. It's just sports bra”, chapter 216) and is wearing a sports bra like she says. They were raised the same way (Emma taking care of/helping her grandfather with chores ; Senju being forbidden to use ‘ore’ by Takeomi because it’s not ‘girlish’, making her go shopping for her to ‘do some girlish stuffs’; both being surrounded by men/boys (who are gang members, or former)) so it’s not because of outside influences they came to have different personalities and behaviors – Senju doesn’t fight or is tomboy-ish because she was raised among men (heck, she lives/lived at her grandmother’s while Emma had no woman/girl family members), she simply likes what society deems ‘for boys’ because she is herself and likes those things ; same for Emma, she doesn’t force herself to be someone she isn’t.

The Akashi are a motherless family but we don’t know why. If the Sano parents are dead (beside Karen, Emma’s mom) then I have two theories coming to mind. Either, the Akashi parents are alive or, they are indeed dead and the father in charge of raising them is Senju and Sanzu’s but not Takeomi's (or a mix of both, who knows). There are various details pointing to Takeomi being half-siblings with Senju and Sanzu.

First, it would be another obvious parallel with the Sano → Emma is Shinichiro and Mikey’s half-sister, but make it a twist by making the half-sibling the oldest instead of the youngest. Second, Manjiro (万次郎) and Shinichiro (真一郎) share a kanji and so do Haruchiyo (春千夜) and Senju (千咒)– if their parents wanted to give them names with a same kanji why don’t they all share it ? I get it with Emma (her mom probably named her and we don’t know how involved her father was in her life, plus, 郎 is a kanji that literally means ‘son/boy’, but she could have have a name ending with 子(ko) meaning ‘child’ and who’s only used in feminine names), but Takeomi ? If they wanted to do that, even if Sanzu and Senju came after, couldn’t they choose 武 or 臣 ? Both feminine and masculine names with those kanji seem to exist (and even if they didn’t, it’s the Japanese name system, they could very much invent it – that’s what they did for Senju!(can’t find information on this name like Wakui decided to write it)). And third, the Sano brothers look a lot alike (Mikey did get his hair color from his father but beside that, they both look a lot like their mother) while Emma looks like her mom (they don’t realize straight away she’s their sister “Isn’t she a foreigner ?”, chapter 123 and Takemichi, Hinata and Naoto don’t realize it either and think she’s dating Mikey for a brief moment in chapter 66 (although Takemichi ends up saying “They do have some sorta resemblance actually” after being told, but Mikey asks him “Really ?”), Sanzu and Senju both look extremely alike while Takeomi doesn’t (different hair color, eye shape, eyelashes, eyebrows - perhaps same eye color).

If we go along with this theory, which also makes their mother the parent they share and not their father like the Sano do (like they stay at their grandmother’s but the Sano stay at their grandfather’s), then the answer as to when Takeomi stopped living with his biological dad and moved in with his step-father would be important. Which one is responsible for how he raises his siblings, or perhaps they are both at fault ? When did their mom leave/die? Did someone ever tell Sanzu and Senju Takeomi was their half-brother ? If Takeomi’s step-father’s family name is Akashi, then Takeomi doesn’t use his birth family name either. And since Takeomi’s mom left him, does he feel the same way Emma feels about it ? (not saying his mother left for the same reason/the same way)

Or they could share the same father and have a different mother like the Sano. Either way, I’m craving for more information about them. They better not stay the “mysterious siblings” forever. Wakui pls

The Sano siblings are 4, we all know that. Izana is a Sano. So what if he throws the parallels off-balance ? He doesn’t. If you’re as delusional as I am, Muto is the Akashi’s Izana.

While Izana knew Shinichiro and Emma, and never got to know Mikey before dying in Tenjiku, Muto knew Sanzu and never got to know Takeomi and Senju. When they met, Mikey had lost Shinichiro and Emma, Sanzu left his home (and most likely stopped interacting with his siblings - although the “Haruchiyo doesn't like the fact im the head of Brahman. He doesn't like that I'm the strongest and that Takeomi endorses me” of Senju in chapter 216 means that he made his disapproval known). Izana knew of Mikey (Shinichiro kept talking about him), Muto didn’t know of Sanzu’s siblings. Muto also has the same age gap with Sanzu (and Senju) that Izana has with Mikey (and Emma). Izana was meant to parallel Mikey, Muto was meant to… parallel Takeomi. He parallels Sanzu too, in some points (staying loyal to their first ‘king’, being very harsh on betrayers/spies, having nowhere to go, Muto to Sanzu, chapter 206, “You don't have anywhere you belong ? You and I are pretty alike.”) but Sanzu said “I would've loved to have a big brother like you”(chapter 206) and so… either Wakui came up with Mucho or Takeomi first. Maybe he didn't even intend to narratively tie them in the first place. But they're still shaped in a way to be opposite. Sanzu took Mucho as his big brother figure first because he’s the opposite of the big brother Sanzu got and who failed him. Mucho’s betrayal against Mikey leaves him to die by Sanzu’s hands anyway, however, by betraying Mikey, he also betrayed Sanzu’s trust. His big brother failed him, again. A brother who told him “it's fine to be devoted to the king, but take care of yourself, too.”(chapter 206), not only validating his actions but saying he’s important as well, a brother who gave him his jacket, a brother who is the reason behind his favorite food (Sanzu’s favorite food is cheesecake for Cozy Corner and Mucho’s failure/heroic story explains why : “to make Haruchiyo Sanzu open up, Mucho bought him cheesecake from his favorite shop, Cozy Corner. The atmosphere was awkward and Mucho asked if something was wrong, to which Sanzu replied that he hated cheese, but would give it a try. There was no conversation after that.”), a brother who tried to make him open up, who tried to understand him, a brother who thought handing him a mask was a good idea because he was “missing out because of those scars” (chapter 206). Another perhaps useful information is that Sanzu dislikes “smothering people”, which was probably what Takeomi was to him (we already know Takeomi likes, has to be in control).

We only have one example of a moment the Akashi siblings spent together, only the three of them. And that’s Senju’s “it's super sparkly ! I haven't been [in an amusement park] since second grade of elementary school !” (chapter 219) and her hidden volume cover (which happened the same year Sanzu got his scars so between April 1st and July 30th 1999).

(Takeomi is the only character, on a (hidden or not) volume cover, we can’t see the face of. Most of them look directly at the reader, and if they don’t we can still see a bit of their face (just like Sanzu and Senju here).)

Final Timeline

It’s not a rant about the entire ending, that’s not the purpose of this post so I’ll only stick with Takeomi.

He’s the only one I have a problem with in this ending. Not him in particular, but his role, his job. Mikey and Takemichi fixed everything (the best they could), including the Akashi siblings’ relationship. All three of them work together.

I won’t say it’s bad for Takeomi’s development, it depends how it’s done and since it’s a happy ending for everyone, it shouldn’t impact anyone badly, But. Was him being the ‘self-proclaimed producer’ necessary ? I’m not against it, especially not if he has another (official) job on the side (and we know he’s smart enough to have one, and one who pays lots, which would also explain how he succeeds to ‘produce’ Senju & Haruchiyo). The only small problem I have with this is – he still lives by being someone important, needed, for somebody else, living on somebody else’s success. And it can be healthy ! But why is it ‘self-proclaimed’. Yuzuha isn’t Hakkai’s ‘self proclaimed’ manager. She is. Takeomi could very much be Haruchiyo and Senju’s producer. Sure they’re youtubers and I don't know if they can have official producers, but why? Takeomi, especially final timeline Takeomi, doesn’t need to brag about others’ achievements as if it was his own, he needs to brag about what he can and what he does by himself, without the need of anybody else.

And I don't say it’s what happens in the final timeline. But it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I hope he has another job where he constantly realizes he is the only reason why it succeeds. Because I don't need him to say ‘I raised them’ or ‘I produce them’ when someone praises Senju and Haruchiyo, as if he was the reason they became famous. I don’t need him to get Haruchiyo and Senju under the spotlight to steal it from them. I need him to be their producer because he can, because he wants to help and bond with them, without taking what they did for himself. I need him to have an individual job, to have built his career without anyone’s help, to see that he can succeed alone. And unfortunately, that’s not what this last chapter made me feel was happening.

Still, it is (and that’s why we’re here for, not me rumbling about how Takeomi’s job is the only one to piss me off because he’s the only character who ends up with a job that can screw up his development). First, I'm so glad the Akashi actually get to be siblings. There are still some issues they had had to fix (with Mikey and Takemichi’s help-), Takeomi and Haruchiyo’s relationship was already pretty bad (Takeomi has his scar on his face) but it got fixed ! Second, Takeomi deserves to feel needed (and to be), which he is by being their producer and i wish, if both sides do take advantages of the other, that it’s in the most healthy way (if that makes sense) – that “the money [...] spent out of Takeomi’s pocket” was his idea and Haruchiyo and Senju accepted (with perhaps the intention of paying Takeomi back later, maybe not with money, since Takeomi doesn’t seem to need it, but still, to do something to show Takeomi it was appreciated) and that Haruchiyo and Senju thanks him publicly, without his ego feasting on it.

I hope he got his self-esteem restored. Which of course that’s what happened, we’re in the final timeline and everything’s good. But. I really hope he did.

And I choose to believe that the “same old Takeomi.” from Shinichiro means Takeomi the same as he was when they were kids. Maybe not exactly, because Black Dragon 1st generation and Takeomi’s superiority complex happened, but that Shinichiro recognizes his childhood friend is doing well, that he’s still here somewhere and got healed.

+ What’s in a name ?

(I'm gonna do something I didn't do for the Shiba (there wasn't much to say about it for them))

Writers are careful with how they name their characters (I'm making generalities here) – and it's especially true with Japanese and Chinese Writers whose characters' name change meaning depending on how they decide to write it

So it's been odd to me, when I realized the ‘Take’ in both Takeomi and Takemichi were the same. Why would Wakui do that? It can't be a coincidence, right ? And indeed. The Akashi siblings' names hold meaning.

Let's start with 明司 (Akashi). 明 (aka) means light, bright and is made of the Kanji used for sun (日) and the one used for moon (月). Then, 司 (shi) means official, director, administrator and was once used to design governors the Emperor had appointed to carry out the imperial policies in provinces. So 司 is for people in power, but not at the top. As said before, 司 seems to come from 后 which is the same kanji upside down and which means ‘emperor, king, monarch..’.

武 from both Takeomi and Takemichi means ‘military, war’. Takemichi's name is actually made of the exact Kanji as Budō (武道, way of war/way of the martial arts). 臣 (Omi) means ‘retainer, subject’ and could be used as a ‘I’ when addressing one's master. Ah, and it can be pronounced ‘Shin’ by itself. Because of course it does.

Takeomi is either: the warrior retainer or the war/military retainer. But he can also be in some way, the director of the light (and so can be Sanzu and Senju.)

I've got more to say about Sanzu than Senju so I'll start with her. Search "Senju Japanese name" into a search bar, you won't end up finding it written like Wakui decided to write it. Not that it means it doesn’t exist, but it's not popular. And for cause, Wakui chose to write Senju: 千咒 – A thousand curses.

Now, who would name their child "curse", I don't know. Perhaps it's one of those names where they're supposed to be degrading so as to push bad spirits/ghosts away? I have two theories for this but they’re without any real basis. One of them is ; the person who named her was really angry at her birth and since we don’t know where is/what happened to their mother.. Yeah (either she died giving birth or for some reasons she named Senju that way before leaving/disappearing). Or it could be one of those ‘Kira Kira names’ (names outside of the norm parents decided were cool). Anyway, Senju thinks she is the reason why both Mikey and Sanzu (+Baji) turned up that way, which isn't true as we're being told after, but Senju thought she was the reason behind Mikey's curse – without knowing it was a curse.

I didn't find any real concrete stuff about Kawaragi. Which is sad. 瓦 means roof tile and 城 means castle. When put together with the Kanji 礫, 瓦礫 means rubbish, wreckage, debris. With the Kanji 解, it becomes 瓦解; collapse, downfall. Normally I won't dare to talk about things who seem to be a bit too coincidental. But 土崩瓦解 doesn't feel coincidental. It can either mean 'complete collapse' or, '(something) going to pieces', meaning 'broke beyond repair'. Which she did. Or rather, thinks she did (not only the toy plane, but “Ever since that day, they all changed… mikey, baji and Haruchiyo. They all changed, and it's because of me” (chapter 241, Senju)). Also, 瓦 is 万 but backward and 万 is the first Kanji of ‘Manjiro’ (万次郎). Which makes a lot more sense. I guess ? For 城; there's 成, meaning 'promoted' it's notably used in Shogi where some pieces can be, well, promoted.

I like to think Sanzu started calling himself such because Mikey and Baji decided to find themselves different names (even if Baji is never even once referred as Ed or Edward). But whatever the reason, Sanzu is one hell of a name. Quite literally, hell. If you look up "Sanzu'' and ignore the Tokyo Revengers-related things, you'd scramble upon: 三途の川 – Sanzu no Kawa. River of the three crossings. A place the deads have to cross after their deaths, and which leads them either to heaven, to hell, or to resurrection. Souls get punished there. Every sin gets met with a trial.

(Plus, it's interesting to know that those you get drag to Jigoku, "hell", fall in the water/river where a bunch of snakes await them. Whereas people who get a pass to Tengoku, heaven walk over a bridge. Sanzu is never called ‘sanzu’ in the original timeline. But you know how Shinichiro died the first time ? Yeah, you do. He isn’t called Sanzu once in the original timeline, and even if he is in the final timeline, I decide to believe it’s because Mikey and Takemichi are too used to calling him that way to realize it and he just picked it up.)

春千夜 (Haruchiyo), is the only name among the Akashi who don't have any kind of negativity in it. Senju has curses, Takeomi has retainer (which isn't a negative thing in itself, but we've already established that Takeomi wants to be so much more than to be at someone's else service), Haruchiyo means "Spring of a thousand nights". Just like Senju, he has 千, ‘a thousand’ in his name.

Remember the 武 from Takeomi and Takemichi ? Yeah ? Well I'm a bit of a liar. Rather than a liar, I didn't say everything. There's a third character with 武 in his name. But it isn't pronounced 'Take' for one, and for two, it's in his family name, not his first

武藤  泰宏

Muto Yasuhiro

(I can't imagine the pain he has to go through every time he writes his name down. 藤 is one hell of a kanji.)

Ah... Mucho. Sanzu's big brother figure. Better than the other. But who did the only thing Sanzu would kill anyone for: betray Mikey. But that's not the point here, we're here to talk about his name. Beside the obvious 武 meant to add to the fact he's Sanzu's big brother, like Takeomi but reversed, 藤 means wisteria. 泰宏(Yasuhiro) means "peaceful' and 'broad' which describes Mucho's personality accurately but, but, but. In 泰 there's 𡗗 just like in 春 ;) (it actually doesnt mean much because taiju also has it in one of his kanji but shh). Or, just like Sanzu shares a kanji with his sister, he shares half one with his not related by blood brother. And ⺢ is a variant of 水, water, just like Sanzu is a river.

朕 is also in there. It's the royal ‘I’, ‘we’ – completely opposite of the servant 臣, ‘I’. More globally, wisterias represent the imperial family in Japan; thanks to the Fujiwara who impacted Japan by a lot when they were the ones ruling the country. And I’ll stop there with Mucho because I may be going too deep here and at some point digging further is meaningless.

Shinichiro and Mikey’s names are… It made me chuckle, not gonna lie. Not because of what the kanji means, but because those are extremely common kanji found in names. 一郎 in 真一郎(Shinichiro) means ‘first’ and ‘boy/son’. 次郎 in 万次郎(Manjiro) means ‘next’ and ‘boy/son’. These (reading ‘Ichiro’ and ‘Jiro’ by themselves) were rather common names for children from not-upper class families. It’s much less common nowadays. Then there’s 真 who means ‘real, sincere, genuine, truth’ and 万  who means ‘ten thousand’. And I didn't quite understand why their parents would choose that kanji, but if you add 全 to it then it gives 万全 or, ‘perfection, flawlessness’, and suddenly it makes my heart melt and also more sense. (it also seems to come from his grandfather’s name Mansaku (万作))

Sano 佐野 too, is a rather common name. Or at least half a common name. since 佐 may make you think of 佐藤 (Sato) which is the most common Japanese family name. However, the 藤 comes from the Fujiwara clan, since the Sano don’t have this kanji (unlike Muto) we can say they don’t have samurai ancestors (or if they do, it got lost along the way). It seems like family name with two out of three of the following kanji : 田, 中 or 村 are reasonably common. And 野 (Sano) has both 田 and 村. (although unlike Tanaka(田中), Nakamura(中村) and others they are stuck inside one kanji).

Unlike Akashi which describes someone of the upper-class, the Sano are everyday average people (Sano means ‘to help’ and ‘field, plain’ but also a prefix meaning ‘wild, lacking a political post’). Except they aren’t. But Wakui must find himself funny for this.

EDIT: 'Sano' is a city in the Tochigi Prefecture in Kanto, which economy revolves around agriculture and light manifacturing. It was also once the name of a clan.

(By the way, the -no of Terano (寺野) is the same kanji. As in, Terano South. And there are some parallels between Mikey and him.. (ill mother, no father, a parent who's a foreigner – but Mikey was born and raised in Japan while South had Brazil), person who raised him showed him the world of delinquency (but they had clearly different view of it), go live with their grandparent(s), person who raised them died when they were 12 (Shin died before Mikey had turned 13) because of ‘dark impulses’ (South himself; Kazutora), they both have ‘dark impulses’ (although we might never know why/how/if they are really the same dark impulses for South), they are both known by a English name rather than their official Japanese one (but Mikey chose his while Dino named South)… We don’t have enough about South and I don't like it.)

(Even worse, because if you’re as delusional as I am, you would notice that if you take out two strokes of 南(South) you end up with the kanji 幸. And since Mikey loved his mother very much, and she loved him very much, and South loved his mother very much… Then his mother must have loved him very much as well (even if she was incapable of fully taking care of him). And 幸 means ‘happiness, luck, blessing fortune’. But then it’s a girl name. But perhaps that’s what his mother wanted her child to be named if it was a daughter ? It’s still hidden in the ‘’Minami’’(南) Anyway, as I said, I’m being delusional and 南 is not an unusual name in Japan. Leave me and my headcanons alone. There's also the possibility it was his father who was Japanese, of course. After all South’s name is Japanese, but then, we don't know a thing about his father so we can't say if him and South’s mom were married. But no matter which one was his Japanese parent, he either had no vocabulary in Japanese or only the basis and had had to learn everything when he was sent to live with his grandparents in Japan – who probably don't speak a word of Portuguese so it didn’t help South having very violent habits. They couldn't communicate.)

I didn’t find something that caught my attention with Baji’s kanji. Sad. But Edward means ‘guardian, protector’ so at least he chose a name that does describe him well. Micheal means ‘who is like god ?’ and of course reminds you of Michael the Archangel and knowing his mother called him ‘my angel’, well my heart is currently aching. I mean… Baji is made of a kanji meaning ‘place’ and another meaning ‘ground’ (the kanji for Keisuke means ‘jewels/corner’ and ‘meditation’ and i really have no idea for those) – Michael is one of the most famous angel name and Sanzu is linked to the afterlife so.. perhaps Baji is the ‘human’ of them three ?

(Baji Keisuke is written 圭介場地. Out of all these kanji there's only 圭 I perhaps found something interesting about. In Shogi, there's a piece called 成桂; 'promoted Katsura' and its abrevation is 圭. Btw, in Shogi, the 'king' is 玉将 or 王将 (if you're a lower rank player or a challenger VS if you're a higher rank player or a reigning champion) notice the dot ? It's 瓦 from 'Kawaragi' vs 万 from 'Manjiro' again)

Emma and Izana's can't be analyzed this much. I didn't find anything for Izana (If i go on Behind the name, in japanese the name Izana (rare and only used in pop culture) comes from the verb izanau ; to invite, to ask someone to do, to call for, to tempt, to lure, to entice ; but honestly, searching for the etymology of this name doesn’t give you a lot of answer (not enough sites say the same thing for me to believe it)) and Emma is "universal, whole" when it comes of German etymology and "all containing" when it comes of Hebrew etymology.

Also it’s interesting how Sanzu and Senju decided to change their family name and not their first like Mikey and Baji. Plus, Baji gets called by his family name every time so it didn’t serve much – like Senju who changed her family name but is never addressed by it in the story (even Brahman members yell ‘’Senju’’). But then Mikey changed his first name and gets called by it and Sanzu changed his family name and gets called by it. One option for each possibility, so it could be in/Wakui’s purpose! The one who didn’t use their other name as much as their real one are the ones to die, whereas the one who, to overstate the point, changed their identity by identifying with something that wasn’t initially them, actually got those selves erased. It’s more clear for Sanzu. Sanzu came up with ‘Sanzu’ and ‘Akashi Haruchiyo’ wasn’t anymore. Mikey came up with this name for another reason but it was still to get rid of ‘Manjiro’. And he didn’t get rid of ‘Manjiro’ until his brother, the only person left to call him that, died. Mikey’s flashback (chapter 264-265: “I.. really like ‘strong’ people [...] Until that day [Shinichiro’s death] [...] I was looking for ‘something’ other than strength [...] All the guys in Toman are good. They're so good but there's something I can't figure out. I wonder how long… there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart [...] ‘strong’ alone is not enough [...] After all, all I need is ‘darkness’.”) tells us he was already starting to follow his Dark Impulses ; after his brother’s death. He confesses it to Kisaki (“I wonder how long… there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart. Sometimes that ‘something’ expands and drives me to destroy absolutely everything”). Manjiro Sano died with his brother. Other people may still call him that way, like his grandfather, but Mikey is Mikey. And this innocent name he once chose to make his sister feel less lonely became a metaphor for his incoming loss of sense of self.

We can also add that Shinichiro may have not changed the way he called Mikey because since his brother, 'Manjiro', was the only thing left from his life before it went downhill, calling him 'Mikey' instead of 'Manjiro' would have created even more of a distance between Shinichiro and his past 'normal' life from his childhood.

Baji and Mikey chose their name (Micheal & Edward) to try to make Emma open up. To get closer to her (especially Mikey). And Emma gets her birth name (Kurokawa) changed as Sano, which makes her even closer to her two brothers (and less from Izana). Sanzu and Senju chose their name to separate themself from Takeomi (and each other).

Of course, they aren't the only characters being best-known as a name they chose themselves of have been given by others. Draken for example, doesn't show any kind of resentment or even neutrality against his name; Ken is still present in Draken. We also know he chose it as a child (like the others), but (unlike the others) a reason is never given - he most likely thought it was cool; just like Mitsuya's dragon and his new tattoo were. Same with Benkei. It is written in katakana in the manga, but with kanji Benkei and Keizo have the same 'Kei'. Benkei is one of the most famous historical figure in Japan, by the way. (He is the servant of Minamoto no Yoshitsune, born Ushiwakamaru. Birth name which shares a lot of kanji with 'Imaushi Wakasa'. Both were great fighters). South, is another example of a name given to change one's identity – but South didn't name himself 'South'; Dino did, after making him kill someone, or giving him a bloody baptism if you prefer. And 'Minami' means 'South' but Minami never grew up enough for us or himself to know who he was.

(+ 

mikey baji sanzu and senju are four and so are bd 1st gen doesn’t feel like a coincidence. But i cant think of something that makes it very interesting. Wakasa and sanzu both know about the og timeline, baji and takeomi are used as parallels at least once, senju has some commons traits with Shinichiro, but mikey does too (and more), senju and benkei.. both like MMA ? And their favorite catchers are rivals ? Thats not much for me to talk about ngl)

#me writing analyses on the fanbase’s most hated characters : why is it not getting attention ? #alternatively. Me writing analysis : im going to make so many parallels #if another character has 武 in their name i’ll go bash my head against a wall #Takeomi seems like the kind of person to say ‘stop it youre going to make me look like a bad (mother) brother’ #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tok rev #tr #tr takeomi #takeomi akashi #akashi siblings #black dragon #sanzu haruchiyo #tr sanzu #tr senju #senju kawagari #senju akashi #wakasa imaushi #benkei #arashi keizou #shinichiro sano #tr shinichiro #i feel like i spent more hours trying to get this post to be posted than i did writing it #if i forgot anything i swear- #honestly i think i couldve written it with less words. but i also dont know how i could do that #i added to this a bit too much after posting it. meh whatever #the 'no' of matsuno is the same as teraNO and saNO and 'chi'fuyu share the 'a thousand' kanji with haru'chi'yo and senju #'They'll tell you to be number 1 never to be happy - First place is for those who need a grade who lack self-confidence' #- Notes pour plus tard by Orelsan (french singer) #i think this idea fits omi a lot

[jodybensonsharp]

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[just-another-blog-of-fluff]

Familiar - Part 9

Word count: 7250

Warnings: Mentions of drinking alcohol (no tipsy/drunkenness though), angst

Just in time for the new year!

No prompts for this one - Tom and reader attend a fancy New Years Eve party together for the first time! I will warn you - there's some angst in this part. I feel like it was needed - no relationship is without its hardships, and it's been all fluff up to this point. I promise it ends fluffy though!

I didn't explicitly leave this part open for a part 10. I don't want to keep adding to the series just for the sake of adding to it if it's getting stale and boring to readers - I feel like it would ruin the series and I don't want that! But, if people have hopes for part 10 and have some ideas, I'm also happy to continue on so long as it isn't getting boring to you all 💚

Happy New Year everyone!

Familiar series navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Sitting in the back of a limousine, dressed in an absolutely gorgeous evening gown, leaning on the arm of your famous actor boyfriend, you truly wondered how you'd gotten here.

You. A regular, non-celebrity girl from the suburbs. Living in the city to go to school and establish your career while working a bar to earn a living. Simple, ordinary, unexceptional you. On your way to a ritzy New Year's Eve charity ball with an A-list celebrity guest list.

How in hell were you going to fit in?

Tom's hand rested against the sequined fabric of your dress covering your knee. He had helped you pick it out, given you had very little concept of appropriate attire for this sort of upscale event. A floor-length, black, shimmering sequin gown, the dress clung to your curves in all the right places. It had a relatively modest V-shaped neckline with three-quarter length sleeves to help keep you warmer in the winter chill. The skirt of the dress had very little flare to it, but boasted a slit that ended just around the middle of your thigh on the left side. You'd seen gowns like this in magazines and on television, but never in a million years did you imagine you'd be donning one yourself.

"You're awfully quiet, love. Are you feeling alright?" Tom asked, breaking the heavy silence in the vehicle.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just nervous."

He turned his body to face you a bit more fully. "There's no reason to feel nervous. You look absolutely breathtaking. It's me who should be nervous, walking in with a lovely lady like you on my arm."

You felt heat creep up your neck, unable to stop the small smile from forming on your face. "Oh... stop it."

"I only speak the truth. And, anyhow, you'll know some of the other guests. A number of the Marvel cast members will be attending - Scarlett, Robert, Lizzie, Jeremy, Seb..."

"They're all your friends, though," you interjected. "Sure, I know them, but I don't really know them that well yet."

"I promise you they'll help you to feel welcome," Tom assured, squeezing your knee affectionately. "They already adore you."

The limo began decelerating before coming to a stop at the curbside in front of the entrance to the ball venue. You turned your head to peer out the window, your breath hitching in your chest when you saw the sheer number of elegantly-dressed partygoers bustling into the building to escape the winter cold. Reporters with flashing cameras were mulling around, capturing photos of couples as they made their way up to the venue.

"There's so many people!" you whispered in awe, heart racing in your chest.

"It is a charity ball, darling. The guest list is quite extensive." Tom held his hand out with his palm turned upward, gazing at you expectantly. "Shall we head inside, then?"

"I... Tom, I don't think I can do this..."

His expression twisted into one of concern as he scooped up both your hands in his. "What worries you, love? You can tell me."

"I just don't fit in! I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb, Tom - how can I possibly go in there?"

He squeezed your hands comfortingly, lifting one to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles. "I assure you, darling - you will not stand out in any negative way. It's all in here -" He tapped your forehead gently with his finger, making you let out a breathy laugh through your nose. "I would never force you to do something you don't want to do, but please understand that you aren't out of place. The only heads that will be turning are those who recognize the sheer beauty that I see in you."

Your face burned at his complements, and you leaned your forehead against his with a flustered whine. He laughed warmly, tilting his head up to press a kiss to your forehead.

"Alright, I'll give this a shot. Let's go in then, before I change my mind and chicken out."

Taking your hand, Tom scooted his way out of the limo and helped you to step out onto the sidewalk, your fingers held loosely against his palm. Once you'd fully planted your heels on the ground and maintained your balance, Tom released your hand and offered you his arm. This, at least, felt familiar to you - it brought you back to your first date, walking through the city streets to the restaurant, the day after this all began. With a steadying breath, you stepped forward and walked toward the venue at Tom's side.

"Mr. Hiddleston!"

A cameraman stepped out in front of the pair of you before you reached the door, aiming his camera lens at you both. Tom was practiced at this, sliding his arm around your waist to tug you close to his side with a bright smile. Instinctively, you smiled as the camera shutter clicked and the flash went off, leaving a blue spot in your vision when you blinked your eyes.

"How about a kiss for the lady?" the reporter urged. Tom chuckled, holding his hand up politely.

"We must be going, thank you." His hand slid to the small of your back, gently leading you away from the invasive reporter and into the building.

The door led into a vast, ornate lobby area. A sparkling chandelier hung overhead, pinpricks of light reflecting off the polished floors. There were attendants taking guests' coats as they entered the lobby wearing white gloves and black suits. Ahead there stood a set of double doors, through which you could hear the muffled chattering and music of the charity ball already in full swing.

You paused a moment, turning to look at Tom. He looked absolutely dashing in his black tuxedo, tailored perfectly to fit him. He'd combed his curls back a bit, although he never could completely tame them. He smiled encouragingly at you, taking your hand in his.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Swallowing anxiously, you nodded. The two of you moved toward the double doors leading to the ballroom, where two attendants pushed them open as you approached to allow you inside.

The interior ballroom was stunning. It had vast, two-story ceilings, with a large central curved staircase leading up to an upper balcony overlooking the room. The lights were dimmed, with warm uplighting glowing along the walls to accent the soft overhead light from the elaborate chandeliers dangling from the marbled ceiling. Guests mulled about, greeting incoming friends and conversing happily with one another while jazzy ballroom-style music echoed in the background. More attendants in black suits made their way between groups to pass out flutes of sparkling champagne and hors d'oeuvres. One such attendant approached as you entered with a tray of champagne glasses. Tom plucked two glasses from the tray with a polite thank you, passing one to you and gazing at you with those beautiful blue green eyes of his.

"To your very first charity ball," he toasted, raising his glass toward yours. You tapped the edge of your glass against his with a clink, taking a long sip of the bubbling liquid.

"Tom!"

A familiar voice boomed from a few feet away from you. You turned, grinning when your eyes fell on Chris Hemsworth seated at one of the round, tableclothed tables nearby. The two of you made your way over to greet him, finding yourself wrapped in a hug that nearly made you spill your champagne.

"Chris, don't go crushing my girlfriend, please," Tom jested, hugging his fellow actor and friend with a firm pat on the back of his shoulder.

"The two of you are seated at our table!" he declared, gesticulating toward the table place cards where your names were scrawled in calligraphic-style handwriting. He wrapped his arm around a much shorter woman who had been seated beside him. "This is my wife, Elsa."

"Nice to meet you," she greeted you with a warm smile, shaking your hand.

As Tom chatted amicably with his old friend, you glanced at the other place cards at your table. None of the other names appeared familiar, which made your heart sink. At least you knew one other person at your table, but you were nervous to see who else you'd be sharing dinner with.

You didn't need to wait long to find out - guests were called to their tables for the start of dinner within a half hour of your arrival. Tom pulled out your chair for you, as the true gentleman he was, taking his seat beside you as others began filing in to your table.

"Oh my! I must say, I didn't expect to be seated with Thor and Loki this evening!" a woman's voice exclaimed from behind you. Tom and Chris turned around to find a woman in a tight-fitted silver gown standing there beside the table, a huge, toothy, starstruck smile on her face. Your stomach twisted when she took the seat on Tom's other side, rotating to face him rather than the center of the table as most others would do.

"Pleasure to meet you, miss...?"

"Dominique Falorsi - CEO of an up-and-coming fashion brand," she drawled, offering her hand to Tom for a weak, excessively feminine handshake. "And of course, I already know who you are, Mr. Hiddleston."

"Call me Tom, please. If we are to share a table all evening, we can at least be on first-name terms." He leaned back a bit so she could see you on his other side, introducing you to her as well.

"Pleasure," she said flatly, immediately returning her attention to Tom as others began taking their seats at your table.

Across the table sat a film music composer and his wife, seated beside a director of a few recent indie films with her partner. Notably, Dominique was the only single person at the table. It didn't seem to phase her in the slightest, however. She was more than content to trap the men at the table in lengthy conversation throughout dinner. You ordered a glass of wine from the waiter as he passed by, and Elsa followed suit beside you, shooting you an exasperated look that you fully felt.

At the end of dinner, the charity organization leader stepped up to say a few words of thanks. The ball would benefit a local children's hospital, with all proceeds being dedicated to medical research and to the families of children who couldn't afford the medical care their child required. It was an honorable cause, one you could certainly get behind, if you had any money of your own to donate.

A big brass band took the stage after dinner, and party guests began getting up to dance and to view the raffle prizes to decide where to place their tickets. Before Dominique could begin chatting about something else, Tom rose to his feet and offered you his hand with a smile.

"Care to dance, love?"

You nodded, suddenly feeling shy as Tom took your hand and led you confidently to the dance floor. He spun you around once you'd found an empty space to dance, wrapping an arm around your waist and swaying with you to the jazzy, swing-style song the band was playing.

"How are you faring so far?" he asked.

"Alright," you replied with a weak smile. "Although, I'd love if Dominique would stop dominating the conversation with you."

Tom chuckled at your wordplay. "You don't find her to be interesting?"

"Not in the slightest. And her dress is way too tight." You scowled, eyes flitting over to where she now stood at another table, gushing animatedly to Robert Downey Jr. about something you couldn't hear from the dance floor.

Tom raised his eyebrows at you, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Are you jealous, darling?"

"No! Pshh. I'm not... jealous. Of course not! Why would I be jealous?"

"You just seem to be rather fixated on this one woman, who just so happens to be single and seated next to me this evening."

"I'm... irritated, is all."

Tom squeezed your hand that was clasped in his. "Darling - I assure you, I only have eyes for you. There's no need to be jealous. And this likely won't be the last time we'll encounter this sort of situation... it does sort of come with my line of work."

"I know. It's fine." You sighed, stepping back as the song wound down so you could head off the dance floor. "Just... don't let her monopolize the conversation with you tonight, alright?"

"I'm sorry, darling. I'll try harder. I was simply trying to be polite."

"I know."

Tom leaned down and pressed his lips to your cheek, sending a wave of heat across your skin from the spot where his kiss landed. "Shall we take a look at the raffle prizes then, darling? It would be a great opportunity for me to provide a donation to the cause, especially if there's something you'd like."

The two of you wandered toward the raffle prize table, where Chris Evans and Sebastian happened to be looking over the options as well. They greeted you both warmly as you approached, each offering you both a friendly hug.

"Find anything worth investing in?" Tom asked.

"My girlfriend is interested in this diamond necklace on the end, here," Seb mentioned, motioning toward an open jewelry box with a glittering necklace seated in a velvet setting.

"Oh, wow - that's beautiful," you marveled, gazing at the sparkling stones.

"Do you like it?" Tom asked, stepping up beside you. "I could purchase a ticket for the raffle if you'd like."

"Oh, no... Tom, I couldn't possibly -"

"Ah-ah! Don't say it doesn't suit you because it's too fancy. Tonight is for charity, and I'd love to enter to win this for you."

Ignoring your feeble protests, Tom flagged over the table attendant to purchase a ticket. You sighed exasperatedly, although deep down it made your heart flutter to have him doting on you.

"Did you see this last one?" Chris asked, motioning you over. You, Tom and Seb joined him at the end of the table where a sheet of paper was laid out, a few names scrawled on the top few lines in various handwriting styles. "They're asking some of the higher profile guests to volunteer to offer a dance as one of the raffle prizes."

"That's... a smart idea," you admitted. If they got a decent number of people to volunteer, they could collect a huge sum of funds for the charity. And depending on the volunteers, they could draw in quite a few raffle ticket purchases.

"I'm gonna put my name down - you guys should too!" Chris suggested, scribbling his name down on the list. "Let's see which of us gets the most raffle ticket purchases - I bet we could get some of the others in on it."

"Why the hell not," Seb agreed, taking the pen and writing his name below Chris's.

Tom looked to you, his brows raised. "If you'd rather I don't do it, I won't."

"No, it's alright. I bet you'll get a killing in raffle sales," you insisted, grinning. "Just make sure you enter a ticket for me, alright?"

"Of course! I'll enter two, just for good measure," he declared, winking.

"Ok, except those don't count toward your total. Only sales from other people," Chris griped.

Chris and Seb broke away to go track down some of the others to rope them into their little competition. You caught sight of Scarlett and Lizzie standing together by the bar, motioning for Tom to head over and greet them.

"Good evening, ladies," Tom greeted as the two of you approached.

"Always so proper," Scarlett joked, giving Tom a hug. "And it's great to see you haven't gotten sick of his antics yet," she added, turning to you with a smirk as she offered you a hug as well.

"You sure you haven't cast some sort of spell on her to keep her around?" Lizzie asked teasingly.

"I wouldn't know how if I wanted to," he laughed. "Fortunately, she seems willing to tolerate me enough to stick around."

You shrugged, grinning. "Yeah, he's alright I guess." You yelped as Tom pinched your side ticklishly, swatting playfully at him. "MOST of the time," you added with a teasing glare.

The ladies were more than willing to go in on the impromptu competition, raving about how easy it would be for them to rack up tickets being the only two ladies in attendance from the cast. You and Tom stayed and chatted with them for a while, and you began to feel a bit more at ease.

Much of the evening was a blur. The pair of you meandered around, making certain to stop by and say hello to all of Tom's castmates that were present for the evening. You danced a bit more, sipped more sparkling wine, and tried your hardest to enjoy yourself despite the fact that you still felt incredibly out of your element here. Not to mention, Dominique was making it a point to pop up randomly throughout the evening, always domineering the conversation whenever she found ample opportunity to do so. It was maddening.

A lovely conversation the pair of you were having with Jeremy Renner and Robert Downey Jr. was suddenly interrupted when the organizer announced the drawing of the raffle prizes. The band took a pause as everyone found their seats once again. You bristled when Dominique took her seat beside Tom, placing her hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

"I saw you are offering a dance as a raffle prize," she observed, a seductive drawl to her voice.

"Yes, the Marvel cast decided to make it a friendly competition, with the added benefit of raising money for the charity," Tom explained.

"So kind of all of you!" she squealed, squeezing his shoulder. "Well, perhaps I'll get a dance with one of you, then."

You clenched your jaw, trying your hardest to block it out. It was silly of you to be jealous of this woman, you knew - Tom promised you he only had eyes for you, and lord knew the man didn't have an impolite bone in his body, so we wasn't about to just shrug the woman off. But god, if she didn't spark a fiery rage in the pit of your stomach. You wished she would just disappear so you wouldn't have to deal with her any longer.

The organizer began pulling names for each prize. Seb's girlfriend won the necklace, which you cheered for. One by one, the other prizes were raffled off until only the dances remained.

"A huge thanks to the entire Marvel cast for playing along - this raffle prize raised more money than any of the other prizes combined," the organizer declared excitedly. You grinned, squeezing Tom's knee.

"That's so cool! I love that," you whispered.

"We'll draw all the names, and then following the drawing the band will play a song for all you lucky raffle winners to accept your prize of a dance. The largest sum of ticket sales goes to Chris Evans for this one - let's begin with him."

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed across the room, leading to a chorus of laughter amongst the partygoers.

"We never stood a chance against Captain America," Chris Hemsworth lamented jestingly. "Hopefully it doesn't go to his head."

The organizer moved down the list, drawing and announcing a name for each star that had graciously volunteered their time. Your heart began pounding in your chest when they called Tom's name, though you tried to hide your nervousness.

"Let's see..." The organizer dug his hand into the raffle ticket box, drawing a slip of paper and lifting it to his face to read. "Dominique Falorsi! Where is Dominique?"

Your throat tightened at the sound of her name, only compounded by the squeak of elation by the woman where she sat two seats down from you. She turned to Tom with a million-dollar smile, placing her hand on his knee.

"I have to admit - I put quite a few tickets in for a dance with you. It looks like it paid off!"

Tom chuckled politely. "Yes, I suppose it did."

Before you could even consider saying anything to Tom, the band began to play once again as the organizer announced the completion of the raffle. Dominique nearly leapt to her feet, glancing down at Tom expectantly with her hand held out toward him.

"Shall we dance, then?" she sang.

Tom stood, turning to shoot you an apologetic look. "Yes, let's join the others."

Your eyes burned with the threat of tears as you watched your boyfriend take this woman's hand and lead her to the dance floor where many of the other pairings had already started to dance. He pulled her into a partner's hold, maintaining a respectful amount of distance between his body and hers. She was having none of that, pulling him a bit closer so the two of them were nearly pressed against each other as they swayed to the music.

It was too much to watch. You stood abruptly from the table, a wave of nausea plaguing your stomach as you glanced around in search of somewhere, anywhere, you could go to be alone. Your eyes fell on a double French glass door in the back of the ballroom which led to an outdoor balcony, which was vacant given the icy winter chill in the air. You didn't care. You'd rather feel frozen than watch this wretched woman with her hands all over your boyfriend.

The cold air stung your cheeks as you opened the door and stepped outside. The muffled brassy melody of the band was still audible from where you stood, but the loud chatter of the ballroom was nearly muted entirely. You leaned your elbows on the railing of the balcony, finally allowing a few tears to stream down your cheeks.

Logic told you that you shouldn't be so upset, but your heart was tearing apart inside your chest thinking of Tom dancing inside the ballroom with that woman. How could he, knowing how you already felt about her? Why didn't he just decline and request a new name be drawn from the raffle?

You wiped your tears from your cheeks delicately to avoid smudging your makeup, thanking the stars you'd chosen waterproof mascara this evening. You had to pull yourself together. It would be humiliating if someone were to see you like this at your very first public event with Tom.

The song ended, transitioning into another more upbeat tune. Still, you remained outside on the balcony, not ready to rejoin the rest of the guests just yet. You were beginning to shiver in the bitter cold, but you could tolerate it a little longer if it meant avoiding the party.

It wasn't until another song began that the door to the balcony swung open behind you. You refused to turn around, not knowing who you'd see standing there but knowing for certain you didn't want them to see your face. The buzzing of the party swelled and then muted once again as the door shut, and a set of footsteps drew closer to where you stood. Suddenly, someone draped a coat over your shoulders, still warm from their body heat.

"Darling, you must be freezing," Tom fretted, moving to stand beside you at the railing. Reluctantly, because he was right, you tugged his suit jacket tighter around yourself. "Why are you standing out here in the cold? I couldn't find you."

You laughed humorlessly. "You don't know?" Turning, you looked up at your concerned-looking boyfriend, a fire in your eyes. "It was making me sick watching you dancing with that awful woman. Why did you go through with it?"

Tom looked taken aback by the bite in your tone, his expression twisting in hurt and confusion. "You know I couldn't back out - there was a significant sum of money donated for the prize, I couldn't just change my mind."

"Why not? You could have said no because it was her, couldn't you?"

"That would have been incredibly rude."

You groaned in frustration. "Damnit, Tom - I know you're polite, but she's just... ugh, she's horrible! She's been hanging all over you all night!"

"And I've already told you, I only have eyes for you."

"So tell her off, then!"

Tom sighed, hanging his head. "Darling, I've told her numerous times that I'm spoken for. She's done nothing inappropriate - if she had, I would certainly have asked her to stop. But I'm not going to be rude to her just because she's enjoying my company."

"Tom! She... ugh! You just don't understand, do you?" You turned away from him, taking a few paces across the balcony to put some distance between you with your hand running through your hair. Turning back around, you choked back a sob. "It hurts, seeing someone like her wanting you the way she does. I could never be on the same level as her! She's confident, and sexy, and has a promising career... and what am I??"

Tom took a few strides toward you to close the distance, grasping your shoulders. You'd never seen the anger that was burning in his eyes before. It made your stomach twist.

"I don't know how else I can make you understand! You are everything to me. I don't care that Dominique is rich and loves flaunting herself for the world to see. I love you."

You gazed at him with tears blurring your vision, threatening to spill over at any moment. His eyes softened, a cloud of despair darkening his normally vibrant blue-green irises.

"I told you, this likely won't be the last time we encounter a situation like this. It happens to people in my line of work often. It breaks my heart to see you suffering so much." He took a wavering breath. "I understand if you've decided you can't tolerate a relationship like this. It would shatter me to lose you. But watching you hurting like this, knowing it's only going to happen again and again..."

You let out a strangled sob, wrapping your arms around him and holding him tight as you cried into his chest. He embraced you, his arms wrapping around yours and squeezing you close as though you might float away if he let go. Your hair rustled as he pressed a long kiss to the crown of your head, simply breathing in the smell of your hair.

After a few moments, you loosened your hold on him so you could look up at his face. He looked as though he was fighting back tears as well. Your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. You loved him. You couldn't just give that up because things got difficult.

"I'm sorry, Tom. Can you be patient with me?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know it's not your fault. I trust you. It's just... going to take more time for me to get used to. If you're willing to give me that chance."

He released a breath, smiling as he pulled you back into his chest, his hand rubbing comfortingly up and down your back. "Of course, love. We'll work through it together."

You let out a sigh of relief, melting into his embrace and simply allowing him to hold you. He pulled back slightly, only so he could duck down and capture your lips in a tear-stained kiss. You kissed him more passionately, more hungrily than you ever had. The idea of losing him, of walking away from this just because of your petty jealousy, it just seemed so foolish.

After a while, you began to shiver again from the cold. Tom stepped back, rubbing his hands along your arms to warm you.

"I think we've made enough of an appearance this evening. Why don't we head home for the evening and ring in the new year, just the two of us?"

"Hmm... can we put on pajamas and drink wine?"

"Darling, we can curl up on the sofa under as many blankets as you'd like. I'll even pour you a glass of wine while you get comfortable."

You grinned, giggling. "You sure know how to sweet talk a girl, Tom."

"Only you, love."

Tom took your hand and led you back inside into the muggy warmth of the ballroom. You returned his suit jacket once the heat had chased away the chill on your skin. The two of you headed over to your table to collect your belongings.

Suddenly, Tom paused a few feet from the table as the band began to play a new song. You hadn't recognized a lot of what they played all evening, but you'd heard The Way You Look Tonight many times before, enough to know the opening few notes before the lyrics began. Tom turned to you with a grin.

"Would you do me the honor of one last dance before we depart for the evening, love?"

You felt your face burn under the sheer weight of his gaze. His eyes had that vibrancy back, wide and earnest as he awaited your response. Shyly, you nodded with a smile, allowing him to lead you onto the dance floor and sweep you into a partner hold.

He held you close, your body pressed against his as he began to sway you gently to the music. With a calm sense of contentedness, you closed your eyes and leaned your forehead against his shoulder, unable to wipe the smile from your face. Tom began to sing along, his voice low and velvety in your ear. Flustered, you buried your face deeper into his shoulder with a giggle. It only served to egg him on, leaning back a bit and beginning to sing a bit louder as he grinned at your blushing face.

"Am I embarrassing you, love?" he asked teasingly. You shook your head, laughing as he started swaying more broadly, rocking theatrically to the beat with an impossibly wide grin on his face. "And that laugh... that wrinkles your nose... touches my foolish heart."

"Tohom!" you giggled, flinching as he ducked down to bump your nose with his. "You ahare ridiculous!"

"I'm just trying to make sure everyone knows we're together," he insisted, nudging you out away from him a few steps so he could twirl you around, the skirt of your dress skimming the marbled floor. He tugged you back into his arms just as quickly, returning to that same dramatic swaying as before as he continued to serenade you.

As you danced in Tom's arms, the rest of the room faded into the background. He had a way of looking at you with such passion, a way that made you feel like the only person in the room even in a crowd of other fancily-dressed party guests. Those eyes of his, they were soft and intense all at once. It was hard to look away, but it also made you feel so incredibly bashful and flustered to know he was looking at you like that.

When the music began to slow, Tom wrapped his arm tighter around your waist, gracefully dipping you backward as you shrieked and giggled at the sudden motion.

"Just the way you look... tonight." He held you tight, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips before lifting you to stand upright. You felt dizzy in the most wonderful way, grasping his arm to steady yourself as you made your way off the dance floor and back to the table to take your leave.

Dominique was standing by the table prattling on about something to Chris and his wife, putting on a sultry smile as her eyes landed on Tom approaching the table.

"Tom! You weren't nearly as extravagant when you were dancing with me!" she whined teasingly.

"I apologize - my theatrics are reserved only for my lovely girlfriend," he responded, slipping his arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your cheek. You couldn't help but grin, fireworks shooting off in your mind as her face fell. "It was wonderful meeting you, but we must be going."

Scooping up your purse from the table, you allowed Tom to lead you out of the ballroom and through the lobby into the cold city air. The paparazzi had long since left, likely returning to their own New Year's Eve parties. The limousine pulled up to the curb, and the driver stepped out to open the door for you to duck inside.

"Would you like to go back to your apartment?" Tom inquired. "I'm sure Toby misses us, although Noelle is probably taking good care of him."

"I'd rather not, actually. Noelle doesn't expect us home until the morning, and I don't want to have to explain why we left early. I just want to enjoy the rest of the night with you."

"Then to my apartment it is."

The limo dropped you off at Tom's place, and soon you were both entering his quiet studio apartment. He didn't need a lot of space, given how infrequently he actually stayed there, but despite it being small it was still incredibly nice, with a crisp, modern feel and plush minimalistic furniture. The moment Tom shut the door behind you both, you collapsed dramatically onto the sofa, pulling your heels off your aching feet.

"I'm not sure who invented high heels, but I will never forgive them," you whined, rubbing your thumb into a sore spot on your foot. Tom pulled his suit jacket off and hung it over the back of one of his dining chairs.

"Next time you should just wear flat shoes. It isn't like the fashion police are coming to get you."

"Yeah, but then I'll be even shorter than you," you lamented as Tom took a seat beside you on the sofa. He reached down to take your sore foot in his hands, but you quickly jerked it away. "Uh-uh - you remember the last time you tried to give me a foot massage."

He chuckled at the memory. "You'll never learn to enjoy it if you don't at least allow me to try."

"Maybe later. Right now, I just want to get out of this dress." Your head shot up, realizing you had none of your pajamas with you. Tom had a few sets of clothes at your place, having forgotten things here and there when staying at your apartment, but you hardly ever stayed at his place. "Er... I don't have anything to change into."

"Hang on - I'm sure I can find something for you to borrow." He stood from the sofa and wandered around the dividing wall that separated his bedroom space from the rest of the apartment.

"You'd better not have ex girlfriends' clothing here - you don't have a roommate, I'll know it's from your past relationships," you called teasingly after him. You heard a drawer open and close, rustling of fabric, and then Tom reappeared in the living area with a set of clothes in his arms.

"Fortunately, no ex girlfriend clothing here. Unfortunately, that means you'll have to settle for some of my clothes." He handed you the outfit, and you happily disappeared into the bathroom to strip yourself of the beautiful but uncomfortable dress and throw on the oversized T-shirt and sweatpants he'd offered you. The T-shirt sleeves hung to your elbows, and the hem of the shirt hung so low that you probably didn't need to wear pants to remain decent, although you were glad for them because it was a bit chilly even inside the apartment. You had to pull the drawstring extra tight to keep the pants from falling down, careful not to trip over the legs as you returned to the living area.

"How do I look?" you asked, twirling for Tom. He grinned.

"I'm not sure if I prefer the dress or this look - you look gorgeous either way."

Your face burned, and you glanced down at the floor to avoid his gaze. He stepped into the kitchen area, pulling out a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses and motioning for you to sit on the sofa.

"I don't have a blanket quite as soft as yours are, but you're welcome to take the throw blanket from the back of the sofa," he offered. You pulled the blanket down over yourself as Tom poured you each a glass of wine as he'd promised, carrying them over and placing them on the coffee table in front of the sofa. You took the glass and drank a slow sip, humming contentedly as you sunk back into the sofa cushions.

"Now this is the best way to spend New Year's Eve," you mused. "I'd take hanging out in my pajamas - sorry, your pajamas - and lounging on the couch over a lavish party any day."

"Admittedly, I do enjoy a quiet night in," Tom concurred, sipping his own wine. "Now, will you allow me to try to help you relieve the aching in your feet?"

"You really want to tickle me, don't you?" you teased.

"No! Well... you know I never pass up the opportunity." He winked, and you glared playfully. "But I truly do intend to give you an actual foot massage - it is my doing that kept you on your feet all evening, after all."

"Alright, you can try. But I'm not responsible for any injuries you might sustain if I accidentally kick you."

Somewhat reluctantly, you lifted your feet onto the sofa and bit your lip as he took hold of your ankle to pull it into his lap. He laughed heartily at your anxious expression.

"You look so terribly nervous, darling! I'm trying to help you relax."

"I know!" you whined, squeezing your eyes shut and hiding your face in your hands as he wrapped his hand around your foot to press his fingertips into the arch.

"Alright, I'll try my best not to tickle you." You sucked in a breath as he began kneading his fingers into the sore sole of your foot, releasing it slowly with a hiss as you allowed yourself to get used to the sensation. Surprisingly, it was actually more tolerable this time, even sort of relaxing. You gradually allowed your muscles to relax, leaning your head back against the couch and sighing contentedly. Tom chuckled deep in his throat. "I take it you're enjoying this?"

"Mm... it feels a lot better," you hummed drowsily. You jumped a little when he switched to your other foot, quickly sinking back into the sofa as you became accustomed to his touch once again.

"Does this make up for allowing myself to become the object of that woman's affections earlier?" he asked facetiously.

"Hmm... I don't know, Tom... that was a pretty significant transgression," you pondered, glad you could joke about it now. "I'm not sure if I've forgiven you yet."

"Wow. How can I ever possibly earn your forgiveness? I've provided you clothes, wine, and a foot massage. What more do I have to offer?"

"You could give me a back massage too," you suggested with a grin. He laughed, releasing your foot and motioning for you to turn your back to him.

"I suppose I could."

You scooted closer on the sofa and turned to face away from him, squeaking in surprise when he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged into his lap, digging his fingers into your sides.

"Hehehey!!"

"I said I could. I didn't say I would." You leaned back against his chest, laughing and squirming helplessly as his fingers crawled up your ribcage. You braced yourself for the inevitable targeting of that spot on the backs of your ribs, but instead he slotted one hand up under your arm while the other darted to claw into your belly simultaneously, drawing a squeal of shock from your lips.

"Thihis isn't ma-HA-MAHaking me wahant to FOHORgive you!" you griped, hooking your fingers around his hand at your belly while pressing your arm down against his tickling fingers at your upper ribs.

"What if I decide to tickle you until you forgive me?"

"We-he-he... we'll be here a lohong time!" you joked.

"You think it would take me that long to make you give in?" His hands both shot to your ribs, scratching into that hypersensitive favorite tickle spot of his. You threw your head back against his shoulder and kicked out uselessly, exploding with desperate laughter.

"TOHAHA-TOHOM NOT FAHAHAIR!!"

"If you wanted me to stop, you'd forgive me," he hummed teasingly in your ear, setting fire to your cheeks. You wrapped your arms around your midsection, pressing your hands against his in a completely ineffective effort to get his fingers to still against your ribs. If anything, it just made him speed up the scratching and pinching of his fingers. "I could go after your other spot."

"NOHO WAHAIT!! I FOHORGIVE YOHOU!"

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it." He swiftly shifted his hands to the sides of your belly and scratched rapidly, depriving you of coherent thought.

"T-AHAH I-HI... I CAHAN'T SP... TOHOM!!"

Hearing you becoming breathless, he relented, wrapping his arms tightly around you in an embrace. You released the last residual giggles as you caught your breath.

"I-hi already forgahave you, yohou dork!" you whined, giggling when he pressed his lips to your cheek.

"I know. I just wanted to hear you laugh." He allowed you to sit up, and you took another sip of your wine while he turned on the New Year's Eve party on the television. You hadn't realized how close it already was to midnight.

As you settled back against the sofa, Tom wrapped an arm around you to pull you into his side. You sighed happily as you lay your head against his shoulder, nestling into him.

"This has been a crazy year," you noted. "A happy one, but crazy."

"A wonderfully crazy year," Tom hummed in agreement. "I can't wait to see what the next one brings for us."

The countdown to midnight began on the television in the last minute of the year. When this year started, you'd never have pictured that this would be how you'd be celebrating the new year, cuddled up with your wonderful boyfriend (who also happens to be famous, which still boggled your mind) after spending the evening at a black tie gala. There had certainly been ups and downs to your time together, but you wouldn't trade anything for this moment, right here, leaning into Tom's side while the last ten seconds of the year ticked away.

As the clock struck midnight, Tom tilted your chin up with his finger and pressed a long, sweet kiss to your lips.

"Happy New Year, love."

"Happy New Year."

Part 10

#familiar series #marvel tickle #ticklish!reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #sfw tickle fluff #tickle fluff

[8uggestionamplifie6]

I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????

Like, think about this realistically.

Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).

If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.

(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)

Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.

Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.

(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)

As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.

Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!

This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.

Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.

Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.

Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?

Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?

I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.

Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.

So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".

In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.

Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.

Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.

Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).

I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.

There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Let me share something:

"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."

Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.

Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.

Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.

Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.

You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.

You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.

You just gotta let go.

Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.

And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.

You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.

You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.

You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.

You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.

You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.

Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.

For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.

#star wars #sw anakin #anakin skywalker #padme lives au #padme amidala #leia skywalker #luke skywalker #Im not sure if anakin and padme would be good parents #like its possible but realistically? I dont think theyd be good parents #like anakin will probably be kicked out of the order (because he married a senator AS A JEDI and didn’t think to leave) #he just ruined the Order's stance on remaining neutral bc now people are gonna ask if they were neutral to naboo #the political ramifications for it is insane so check out my account bc i got a post about it #anakin would likely never learn how to love UNpossessivly and become a helicopter parent #and padme wouldnt stop him because . she already make a shit ton of excuses for him in aotc when anakin #murks innocent CHILDREN and she's like <; he JUST MURDERED PEOPLE AND ITS OK???? #padme is an enabler for the most part and i know she would not stop anakin if he became a helicopter parent when she already doesn't care #leia and luke would grow up in such a toxic environment #yes you dont have to agree but just think about it logically #anakin already don't know how to love securely/unpossessively and if he leaves the Order #he still aint gonna learn and padme aint gonna reign him in #i feel so bad for luke and leia. at least in OT they had good parents #Bail is Best Dad^tm #Obi-Wan you gotta sue this couple and take them kids away. You Bail and Breha can keep'em. Y'all better at being parents #which is weird cause none ya got kids but thats okay luke and leia can be your kids #obi wan kenobi

[majesticnerdyvee]

Hey! Sorry if i'm bothering you, but i just wanted to ask how your truly fantastic fic Harry Potter and the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is coming along. Its like one of my favourite fics of all time, and i'm so excited for the update. Thanks!

Hey Nonny! Never bothering, don't worry, asks are always welcome! :)

This ask makes me feel all fuzzy omg, it's really heart-warming to see that you enjoy it <3 you're lovely!

I realise now that the tags on the fic said I'd update 4 days ago. Unfortunately, university is really kicking me to the curb and I have exam season coming up, so it won't be for at least another 2-4 months :/ And it makes me sad, because I know people are waiting, but I have no beta which I would love to have for a fic this size, but I had no replies to my post sadly. That aside, I'll beta it myself of course to my best abilities, but I am restructuring the fic too. And finding motivation to write for this fic is a bit hard recently ://

Here's a couple things that are going on though:

Blake will have more screentime to show his character more and to give him time to befriens a number of characters which plays a role eventually

Draco will have a slightly different arc, which ties to Sherlock and by extension John, and I am very excited for this part

I am adding years 1,2, and 3 for Harry and Draco, which means Blake will be at Hogwarts since his year 4 experiencing the craziness

John/Sherlock and Greg timeline is going along well, and pre-writing their parts is fun but long lmao

the Founders have a secret,,, and it's hot tea I swear (has to do with Slytherin and Gryffindor)

animagi play a big role, and I am reconstructing certain spells to like, be better/work better and explain the reason why they work, and it's quite a bit of research

the ships i beg you I love my boys and once I put them through the angst wringer they'll be happy but first,,,, ANGST

Blake + Cedric = Slytherpuff duo of chaos

Sherlock and Greg developing friendship is the hill I die on

Sherlock, John and Greg will be a part of a bigger crew, essentially combining all House members into one team

McGonagall has a lot to look out for lol

I could write my favourite parts of writing this fic all day and my headcanons which I will eventually implement, but then this ask would be much longer :'D but if anyone's curious I can tell you!

Harry's situations at the Dursleys will be different, and Aunt Petunia will get a character arc too (and not Vernon because we don't like him in this household :3) - she has Potential

patronuses. they're awesome. and Blake has the coolest of them all ;)

Altogether, this fic is now over 100k words long. And that's just chapter 1 plus the hogwarts years which is all before year 5, hah, I can't write short stories for life x) And the chapters will be massive. We're talking ~20k and more possibly, to have the whole year in one place. So there's a lot of content to look forward to!

I could do Wednesdays In Progress again if I don't forget, though, hmmm, so there's an idea, but we'll see if I don't forget lol

Also, it's Christmas, so Merry Christmas if you celebrate it! Or Yule for our fellow witches and wizards out there or anything else you celebrate <3 As a small Chrismtas present, here is a cover for the fic that my younger brother had made for me (and I love it to death):

thank you for the lovely, encouraging ask, Nonny! as a treat I'll write today a bit for this fic <3

#ask box #chatting up nonnies #Harry Potter and the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes #my fic #potterlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #harry x draco #ao3 #fanfiction #johnlock fic #greg lestrade #mycroft holmes #hogwarts

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

#mbs disney+ #mbs liveblog #the dance of the celestial orb #the mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

[pastel9girlbunny000die]

Age Gap... AU

Part 1

One Piece The Monster trio~

♡The characters are all between 27-29 unless said otherwise

♡The s/o is between 16-18

Warning: ...Kissing and Cuddles? PDA and nakedness, smoking and drinking

***

Monkey D. Luffy🍖

🍖Dating a younger s/o has never really been a problem or something bad for Luffy

🍖Cause his more of a child than you are.

🍖People outside of your friend group always assumed that you guys are good friends or relatives.

🍖When Luffy's friends found out you two where dating, they we're really supportive and made you feel part of a great social group... better than the poeple you hang out at school

🍖Same with Luffy's family. They accepted you as part of the family without hesitation, but still trying to wrap their heads around how you two even started dating???

🍖Umm ugh... Your family not so much... Your parents weren't very happy about you dating an older guy like Luffy.

🍖It made them worry

🍖But! You did reinsurer them it's was all fine. He has a decent job makes enough to support a family has a nice cozy home and a loving personality.

🍖it got them off your back for a while~

🍖Buttttttt~😏

🍖when it comes to Luffy's looks, he looks pretty young for his age already reaching his late twenties.

🍖When telling others that your in fact dating doing all the sweet loving couples stuff, they believe you since he looks like an older classmate from your school.

🍖But when you tell then his infact an working adult... they don't believe you, they just take it as a bad joke.

🍖You never ask your meat brain for help with homework cause you might start fooling around instead of doing it, if his presence is around you during school work or studying.

🍖Luffy doesn't really care about age since he loves you for who you are rather than what age gender or colours you are.

🍖And he does it unconditionally.

🍖He loves it when you cook a big meat feast for a king! or you randomly give him cuddles or cheeks kisses. It makes his heart beat exstra fast and butterfly's fluttering all around in his stomach.

🍖Luffy introduced you to a lot of new food and you love most of the dishes. But also found a few new food allergies you never knew you had.

🍖Let's just say you know the hospital staff pretty well now.

🍖Small loving touches like these matters a lot to him like all the little things you do for him. It makes him extremely happy.

🍖PDA 😏*Public display of affection*

🍖Luffy doesn't mind holding hands or little pecks here and there in public.

🍖But holding his hand comes with consequences... be prepared to be dragged from placed to place in a public shopping mall or market cause he won't let go when he runs from food course to food course.

🍖But when it comes to PDA kissing, he only allows the quick peck on the lips or cheeks he doesn't do the long make out session. His not one to sit still in one place for too long.

🍖His your man child after all.

Roronoa Zoro ⚔

⚔Zoro doesn't care.

⚔He dates you cause you are you.

⚔He has never been really the one to judge based on looks but when he met you he saw nothing but the most beautiful thing in the world.

⚔He has a really direct personality and isn't really the one to talk much or too clingy.

⚔Zoro doesn't have a solid job he switches from part time to part time, and one of his joba is the reason he met his s/o.

⚔He got lost on his way too your school and ended up bumping into you, literally.

⚔He nicely asked for directions and you gladly let him tag along with you, even though he sometimes turns the wrong way.

⚔It turned out he applied as a substitute teacher for a month at the boys kendo club.

⚔So you had a lot of time getting to know each other 😏~

⚔Other than that he hit it off pretty well with his s/o. From hanging out at school during lunch, to after school and weekends.

⚔That's how you ended up asking him out on a date.

(Definitely demanding to pick him up!!!)

⚔Than started dating. You later on met his group of friends which surprised you though to him not being a kind of person to hang out with a loud bunch but thier his life long friends and good people, you ended up liking them quicker than your school friends.

⚔Zoro's parents have already passed away and his is the only child so it was sad that you didn't get to meet his family and thank them for making this hard working lovable idiot.

⚔It took you awhile to work up the courage to let your family meet Zoro. It's not that you care about if they liked him or not all you wanted to know if they'll let you be with him and keep loving your marimo.

⚔Their reactions where priceless. But they were okay with it. Since they knew the swordsman from high school and he wouldn't do anything to seriously hurt you.

⚔Telling others that you and Zoro are indeed a couple is weird to them he has a bleak personality and a horrible attitude along with him being in his late 20s.

⚔You on the other hand are sunshine and rainbows all the time full of energy and always positive.

⚔How does that mix?

⚔In public you guys always gets mistaken for father and daughter/Son. But you brush it off and claiming your a couple.

⚔Which surprised them but they don't push further though to Zoro sending them glares.

⚔One thing you love about Zoro is taking little naps together. Anywhere the couch, bed, floor, bath tub anywhere you start cuddling him he'll fall asleep on you a few minutes after you'd follow.

⚔He tought you Kendo. And let's say you got a new hobby.

⚔You once asked him to help you with homework. Next day you came in with the excuse, "Ma'am my dog ate my homework."

⚔Zoro loves you with all his heart sometimes he can't help but feel like he doesn't deserve you or his holding you back?

⚔But you reinsurer him with him is the happiest you have felt in you life.

⚔PDA 😳*Public display of affection*

⚔His not really good with affection but he doesn't push you off when you want a hug or two maybe even kisses he will allow it.

⚔His also not clinging kind of guy. So waking around in public he won't hold your hand but he will put an arm around your neck.

⚔And in return one of your hands slips into the back pocket of his jeans giving you the opportunity to squeeze his ass whenever you desire.

⚔He let's it slide. With a tiny blush.

⚔While walking around in any public place you always keep an exstra eye on him (like a parent making sure not to lose thier kid in a large place).

⚔Your more relaxed when his arm is around you meaning you'll be near him at all times. But when his not your six sense activate to mama bear mode all eyes on him at every second.

⚔In one day at the mall you caught him almost mindlessly walking off in a random direction or out the store.

⚔You had to chase after him.

⚔PDA Kissing😚~ Like I said he doesn't mind it but when he gets a little drunk he full on gets you sucked into a full blown make out session he doesn't care where. In public, at home, in you home, out with his/your friends even near your parents. Nothing gets in his ways of what he wants.

⚔Not even your embarrassment.

⚔After all your stuck with your Marimo.

Sanji Vinsmoke 🚬

🚬Sanji is a complete different case than the other two mentioned above.

🚬He's a hopeless romantic.

🚬First time you met him he was dress as a okama. A first expression you'll never forget, For awhile you wonder who that woman was and thought you'll never cross paths again

🚬Destiny proofed you wrong.

🚬You met him again at the Baratie one of the most famous restaurants in town.

🚬In the end you guys talked the night away, you probably interacted with him more than the poeple you came with.

🚬Later on he invites you for a free homemade meal, personally made by him.

🚬He also gave you his number~ 😚😏

🚬That's how you met.

🚬And later on you two became closer there was just this unique thing about Sanji that made you like him more.

🚬Yes he treats woman with the at most respect and kindness, randomly complements any woman he comes across.

🚬Like a true gentleman.

🚬But in his eyes you felt different. He flirts more with you, he does small sweet things for you.

🚬And don't forget the mouthwatering lunch boxes you get to take school.

🚬Sanji spoils his s/o with a lot of affection he can't go a day without a hug or kiss, if he doesn't get either one of them he will genuinely worry.

🚬Sanji thinks it's cute that your younger than him, it gives him more of a responsibility vibe when his near you.

🚬He practically treats his young s/o like the rightful queen/King they are.

🚬But that doesn't mean his a little negative when it came to his age, his not that old reaching his late 20s, he has his doubts.

🚬But when he has these bad thoughts you can see it on his face, it made you sad that he thinks you'd leave him for someone younger.

🚬Your response is making him some nice relaxing hot tea and cuddle him in a blanket whispering sweet words of love to him

🚬It lights his mood a bit.

🚬From time to time, Sanji's s/o gets jealous by the way he treats other women, you could be a little selfish just wanting him to only look at you in that way.

🚬You weren't surprised when you met his friends they care about Sanji as much as you did, they also loved you, finally happy that he got a lover so they could stop hearing his complaints about his single life.

🚬And they kinda use him for free meals. Especially Luffy the leader of their little friends group he always whines for meat, it kinda cute.

🚬You can't really ask Sanji for help in school work/homework, his a high school dropout. And the only thing he can actually help with is cooking classes which you hate. But at least your grades picked up in that class

🚬Sanji never let's you meet his biological family, he forbids the topic and avoids it at all cost. But couldn't wait for you to meet Zeff his adopted father, he literally dragged you to his childhood home to meet the old geezer.

🚬Zeff took you in the moment he met you and treated you like his own daughter/son, he also said "Finally I can rest in peace knowing you won't die alone." At Sanji.

🚬Which result in a small argument.

🚬Like Sanji you refuse to let him meet your parents, afraid they won't accept the relationship and force you apart. So you always give him the excuse that you want to wait or not ready yet.

🚬He respect your decision, and won't interfere or go behind your back. If you can wait so will he.

🚬Buttttttttt😱

🚬One night your Dad/Father decided that the family should go out to eat, give your mom/mother a little break from cooking.

🚬You agree to go aswell. Without knowing which restaurant.

🚬Guess where you went😏

🚬Yes... The Baratie!!!

🚬Your soul left your body. I mean Sanji should be off right ? Right ? Its weekend.

🚬But it got worse when you saw a glimpse of him in the kitchen and your eyes meet.

🚬What go worst that your Mom/Mother took a seat in Sanji's section of the restaurant.

🚬Meaning he will serve you.

🚬At this point you give up and just let it be, tonight your life as well as your relationship will come crashing down.

🚬Mindlessly sitting down, at that moment Sanji came bursting through the kitchen doors like a tornado heading towards you

🚬Wrapped his arms around you kissing you all over your face, right in front of your family.

🚬They where far beyond shock.

🚬By the time Sanji let's go of you, you looked like a morning person who just got out of bed, hair messy clothes messy and a blank look on your face.

🚬It didn't take long for them to start drowning you with questions.

🚬In the end you made sure to tell them,

"Mom/Mother Dad/Father, this is Sanji his the head chef of the Baratie, his also m-my boyfriend."

🚬Your mom/Mother got offended that your dating a professional cook, that is most likely better at cooking than her.

🚬Your Dad got offended that your dating someone older close to his age. (He can't really give the if you hurt my little girl/boy I will end you speech, the blonde must've heard it for a long time and just wouldn't be treated by it.)

🚬But they saw how worried you looked holding Sanji's hand tightly, the blonde seemed ready to start a argument if they would be against you two.

🚬In the end they smiled and nodded.

🚬Sanji and his s/o couldn't be more happy as instant took over and you two kissed passionately and long.

🚬Your Dad/Father had to clear his throat reminding you where you are.

🚬You broke apart blushing.

🚬It all ended up happy.

🚬Telling your parents weren't easy but now that you know that thier okay with your relationship made it easier to tell others.

🚬Let me tell you, Yes Sanji is older than you and everyone can tell that by his looks, so they just assume you guys are relatives or brothers/brother and sister.

🚬Sanji always corrects them, Your his lover not family member.

🚬That's when they turn to you asking if his black mailing you.

🚬You just simply say "No."

🚬You don't need to give others an explanation, knowing you two love each other very much.

🚬Despise Sanji's appearance you ignore his good looking hot abs and body and turn to his eyebrows and personally others make fun of how unnatural they are but they are the most lovable features on him that you like the most.

🚬Sanji smokes, and yes you know that. You never complain or ask him to stop, but you did ask him why he does, he simply just said "I started to smoke to piss off the geezer, I was just a stupid teenager at the time."

🚬You don't like cooking so that kinda got Sanji down, but you didn't mind helping out once in awhile.

🚬You love make overs dressing up and looking pretty. Which made him happy that he can share his okama side with you, you love doing his make up. aswell as styling his blonde wig.

🚬That's how he brought you to meet Iva one of his friends at the kamabakka night club.

🚬You really enjoyed it there and all the others you met.

🚬It was really fun seeing Sanji in his more feminine side and dress as a girl.

🚬It made you happy that he even share his most inner self with you.

🚬Sanji is really happy that you accept and love him for who he is.

🚬PDA *Public display of affection*

🚬Sanji is all over you hand holding, kissing, hugging even making out.

🚬He let's you hold hands and doesn't mind random kisses on his cheeks but he personally prefers his mouth over his cheeks.

🚬PDA kissing 😏~ One thing he loves is being taller than you, so when you want to give affection by kissing you have to stand on you tip toes and only able to reach his jawline.

🚬So you just kiss him from his jaw to his collarbone. Secretly leaving a mark😏~

🚬But when you go out with him dress as a Okama he doesn't let you kiss him much or hold hands but he doesn't mind locking arms with you.

🚬Just to know you're near, and save.

🚬He has one hell of a kick, You found out that out when you guys went out to a bar with Iva and some of his other friends (You didn't drink, being a minor and all but you did have a glass of soda or water).

🚬At some point Sanji got up to use the bathroom. And when he got back he saw a drunk guy harassing his s/o

🚬So with one hit he kicked the living hell out of the guy. (It didn't ended well for that guy, must've hurt more with the high heels boots Sanji's was wearing kicked him😵)

🚬And Sanji angrily dragged his s/o home early.

🚬It surprised you since Sanji wasn't really violent around you much, but knowing he'd even get into a fight to protect you. Made you happy and felt loved. He is the blonde cook you fell in love with after all.

***

#One piece #fanfic #male reader #fem reader #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #sanji vinsmoke #luffy #Zoro #Sanji #One piece fanfic #anime

[palettes-and-prompts]

Prompts based on Beautiful People (feat Khalid) by Ed Sheeran

No problem!

Dialogue Prompts

1) "Oh god, they're coming over here to talk to me. Walk over there and call me in like thirty seconds and make up some excuse that we have to leave for." "You got it." 2) "You know, I don't know what it is but there's something about you." "My incredibly good looks?" "No." "My wit? My charm?" "I don't know what it is but there's something special about you." 3) "I'm tired of this fucking party, do you wanna get out of here?" "Thought you'd never ask." 4) "Where are you?" "I'm at a party." "You hate parties." "I know. I thought it would make me forget that Person A's not here." "Damn, you really miss them?" "Yeah, not enough alcohol here to make me forget all the shit I said to them." "Stay there, I'll come and get you." "Thanks, Person B." 5) "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Because I just realize you're the only person in the world who's ever been real with me." 6) "What are we? You kiss me all the time but we're not dating, you tell me there's no one like me but you don't text me all the time, you only text me when you need me to be there for you. I don't get it, Person A. What are we? What am I to you?" "I don't know." "Well, when you figure it out get back to me." 7) "You sure you want me to come over, your manager-" "I don't care about anything else. I just want you." 8) "I wanna leave the party." "Babe, we just got here." "I wanna leave." "I wanna stay." "Fuck it, I'll walk home." 9) "I can't look at you when you get like this. Call me when you've sobered up." 10) "I'm tired of being around famous people. If one more interviewer asks what I'm wearing I might just kill someone."

Regular Prompts

1) A's always been surrounded by cameras and interviewers, never really getting to have a life, but when Person B shows up in their life with no idea who they are they're finally able to talk to someone who isn't obsessed with them and doesn't recognize them on sight. They form a close relationship and soon the two sneak around to B's place a lot and A's never been this happy before. But things get complicated when paparazzi catch them together. 2) A's never liked parties but is convinced by their friend to go. When they meet Person B they instantly connect but their time together is cut short due to their drunk friend needing to be taken home. A tries hard to find out who person B is, asking around but no one recognizes them by description. They end up meeting at another party and talk a long time again, only this time B leaves before A can get their number. They try to meet them at another party but they aren't there. A eventually gives up after not being able to find them on any social media. When they get another job doing something they're passionate about they're reminded of B, but even more so when B walks in through the front door and they're introduced as the person training them who'll they'll be working with for the next few months. 3) A's looking to make it as a model and they find getting jobs anywhere is incredibly hard since they're always told they're not exactly what people  are looking for. They meet their roommate Person B who gave up photography when they came to the city and no one wanted them. They're talented but insist that that dream is over and that they sold their camera to pay rent when things didn't work out. They have a lot in common and when B's birthday comes up A uses the money they saved for a better apartment to go to the pawn shop and buy B's camera back for them. B is touched and the two spend the whole day taking photos and hanging out as they celebrate B's birthday. A goes to sleep and wakes up with missed calls, emails, and text sent from modeling agencies asking when A can come in for work. A schedules every shoot and goes into the kitchen finding B asleep at their laptop from sending emails, calling people and texting pictures of A they'd taken. When B wakes up A kisses them for the first time and B smiles, asking if they got the job. A says yes and B tells A they'll be working together as model and photographer from now on. 4) A's an actor/actress who retired young and is living off the money earned from their movies. When they meet a barista their age, Person B, who'd like to interview them they refuse since they've been unwilling to do an interview for anyone in years. As they interact with each other more B keeps asking, eventually annoying them to the point that they agree and give them their address. When they go to A's house B is fascinated by how little they have around their house and how empty it is. A opens up about how lonely being a star can feel and how hard it is to trust anyone. A tells them numerous stories and explains their life and B write a piece on how stardom can affect someone financially but also emotionally and mentally. The piece is a success and A reads it realizing that B wasn't just some idiot who listened but didn't hear them. They congratulate B on their story and B thanks them for letting them tell it. B awkwardly but sweetly asks them out and A can't remember the last time they were on a date but agrees. A finds it nice that they finally have someone willing to listen to them for once and B's just glad someone's talking to them. 5) A gets tired of living the rich life they always wanted and begin to think about all the things they gave up to have their life. They pack all their things and go back home to their old friends who are excited to see them. But Person B, the person they were closest too asks why they're back, telling them that they said they'd never come back. Everyone senses the tension and leaves the two alone. B tells them they should have stayed in their mansion. A tries to get used to the things they used to do while other people immediately ask for autographs. A goes to a party where B is and A gets them alone to apologize for leaving the way they did and saying the things they said. B tells them they don't want an apology, they just want A gone. The two slowly but surely begin talking and when A tells B they're thinking of moving back for good B asks where they're going to live. A mentions they're going to sell their house and buy the house they used to talk about living in together. B tells them they're surprised they still want that house after getting the life they wanted. A tells B the life they want is there with them in that house.

#Ed sheeran warning #this has got a lot of aus in it tbh #write #writing prompts #prompts #sad prompts #hurt/comfort prompts #dialogue prompts #fic prompts #writer #song prompts #prompts based on songs #song ask #writing #hurts/comfort? #mentions of alcohol #falling in love #this is reminding me of the time i said ed sheeran would make a good sloth villain #i wish i could unsee that slothy man

[getitinbusan]

Only Love Can Hurt Like This -4

Im Jaebeom - Angst

Y/N doesn't want a relationship, especially not with an idol. Jaebeom only wants her.

Love after heartbreak and all the things that fall in between.

Angst, Cheating, Fluff, Smut

A new series inspired by lyrics, each chapter has a specific song that goes with it.

Chapter 1: Nice To Meet Ya

Chapter 2: Blood In The Cut

Chapter 3: Liability

Chapter 4:

Chapter 5: Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Chapter 4: That's Just The Way You Make Me Feel

You keep on asking me the same questions (why?)

And second guessing all my intentions

You've got the answers to my confessions

You know I love it, so please don't stop it

So real, so good, so fuckin' real

The way you make me feel Janel Monae. 

He knew he fucked up and he didn't know what to do about it. He'd finally made some headway and now he was back to square one. 

So, the next day he was back. Standing in front of your counter he held out a cup of Hotteok.

Before he could speak you jumped in, "See JB, the way this whole retail thing works is, you pick something you want that I'm selling, then give me money for it. Nowhere in the scenario do you bring me random shit just because."

Your eyes were red, he felt terrible, after only 2 conversations he'd already managed to hurt you. 

"It's not random shit, it's an apology. I'm sorry I drew attention to you last night." he paused, "you don't deserve to be attacked like that." 

You turned away trying to gain your composure, "The one thing I've learned through all this is to never apologize for showing your feelings. When you do, you're apologizing for the truth." 

You looked back, "I've never apologized for loving Yoongi, because it was real whether people want to believe it or not."

You sighed, "You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't put the target on my back JB it's been there a while, I'm just sad because now you've got one too." 

His heart sank when he realized that you weren't choosing loneliness to protect yourself, you were keeping your distance so he wouldn't get dragged into it. 

He placed his large hand over yours as it lay on the counter. "There's only one thing that's going to make me walk away from you." He tipped your chin so you were forced to look into his eyes, "Tell me you don't want me here." 

The door chimed, you were no longer alone.

"Like I said yesterday, it's bad business for me to chase away customers, stay as long as you want."

He smiled brightly, "That's not a no." 

Taking the Hotteok from the counter you were still unsure, but he was right, it wasn't a no. 

………………………

Standing at the bar in the exact spot you'd met him, you'd hoped he'd be here tonight. You felt like a desperate fool with a schoolgirl crush.

Three days had passed since you'd last seen him and despite your best efforts, you found yourself missing him. You hated the way your heart hurt, of course he'd given up why would this be a surprise? 

A hand reached around placing a drink on the bar in front of you. "You look like you could use this, still pining over Min Yoongi?" 

"Actually I'm waiting for a friend Minho." 

"I could be your friend tonight Y/N. I guarantee I can get you to stop thinking about him," he grabbed your ass. 

"No thanks, I don't think 5 minutes in your bed will change my world."

He grabbed the drink back, "No wonder he cheated on you, you're such a bitch." 

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb...you'd let your guard down and everything was feeling all too personal. Shooting back the last of your Soju you grabbed your jacket and made for the exit. 

"You're not leaving when I just got here?"

Your traitorous heart fluttered, "I didn't know I was supposed to be waiting." 

His grin got bigger, "Are you mad because maybe you actually missed me a little?"

Mad, sad, who could tell them apart anymore? 

"Yeah, actually I am and I'm livid with myself for it." 

He put his hand on your waist, "Hey, I'm sorry, I got called for re shoots."

His thumb rubbed over your hip soothingly, "I only have your work number...I just got back and I was hoping you'd be here" 

A voice shouted from across the bar "Don't waste your time on that one JB, come sit with us"   

You closed your eyes trying to keep the tears at bay, "You heard the man. I'm leaving anyway, I guess I'll see ya around."

Shooting a look at Minho he ran out the door to catch up with you. 

Standing at the curb waiting for a cab he reached his hand out to you. "I wanted to be with you tonight, and I'm pretty sure you wanted to be with me. It's still early, let's go somewhere okay, can we still do that?" 

Placing your hand in his, "Only if we're alone...and there's alcohol."

He smiled victorious, "I think I know a place." 

Walking up the crowded street you felt better, anonymous. He kept squeezing your hand making sure you hadn't slipped away.

"Right here," he stopped in front of a pink neon lit Karaoke Bar. 

"Karaoke? I think one of us has an extremely unfair advantage JB." 

"Don't worry I'll let you win." 

Stepping closer to him you kissed his cheek, "Why are you being so nice to me JB?" 

"Y/N, why do you keep questioning my motives?"

His hand ran up your arm, "I hate that you've been mistreated for so long that you don't realize what normal behavior is."

He held the door open for you, "How's a private room and bottle service sound?" 

................................

You consumed copious amounts of Grey Goose as you took turns performing for one another. What you lacked in vocal talent you made up for in your ability to mimic choreography.

"I think I've lost my voice," you shouted after your efforts to sing Itzy's Wannabe.

"I'm going to have to tell JYP about you, maybe with some training you can debut next year and come on tour with us," he laughed.

He queued up the next song, "Come here, I want to dance with you." 

You moved into his waiting arms and allowed yourself to surrender to his pursuits. His song came on and you laughed, "it's so cheesy Jaebeom-ah!" 

He sang anyway, 

Our love will lead the way for us

If the road ahead is not so easy

Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

You don't have to change a thing

I love you just the way you are

You let your head rest on his chest, his heartbeat was louder, more important than the words he was singing.

Glad he was holding you up, you felt a little drunk, a little in love and for once, you weren't going to stop yourself. 

He kissed the top of your head and held on a little tighter, "So does this mean you'll finally give me your number?"

You looked up at him nodding, locking eyes he moved slowly closer, lips almost touching ...until his phone went off.

He frowned, "Fuck, it's management. Sorry I've got to check in. Just stay in my arms ok?" 

"You're going to read texts over my shoulder? How romantic," you jibed, but you didn't break away. 

JYP: Dispatch has reached out to us for comment regarding a new dating scandal. They were tipped off that you were with Y/N at Cakeshop Night Club tonight and now they are outside of the Karaoke bar waiting for photos. We need to discuss your intentions immediately. A car will pick you up in 15 mins, wait inside for security. Do not leave the building together as it is still controllable speculation.

You could feel his body react to what he was reading, deep breaths, tensed muscles and finally pulling you in tightly. "What is it J?" 

"I've got to get you out of here, the press are outside" 

He handed you his phone, "add your number."

But JYPs text was still open and you saw every word.

You keyed in your info and switched it off before handing it back. 

You breathed deep, "You know, sneaking in and out of buildings is my specialty," You put your hand over his heart and gave a sad smile.

"Don't worry about me. I'm sure there's a back entrance, I'll just grab a cab home. If you go out the front they'll be too busy taking photos of you, they'll never notice me."

You tried to sound confident and uncaring so he'd do what was best but Jaebeom had his own plan. 

"Get your stuff, we're going out the front together." 

He pulled your hand through the bar and out the front door. Lights flashed as they took their photos for tomorrow's headlines.

Hailing a cab he leaned over and kissed your lips, "I'm going to call you as soon as I can okay?"

You weren't okay, your first kiss would be your last kiss. Your smile hid the stabbing pain in your heart, you knew it was over before it had started.

"Jaebeom," you called him back after he closed the car door behind you, "It's been a really great time."

He smiled and waved.

Getting into the companies blacked out Suburban he was happy, he was going to stand his ground.

He'd felt bad that your first kiss had been under these circumstances so he opened his phone to text you a quick apology.

Searching the contacts  he found your entry, "I'm sorry" with random numbers underneath. 

#Jaebeom #jaebum #got 7 #im jaeboem #got 7 jaebeom

[daikenkki]

MrDonald09: Since Series 22, what new change has annoyed you the MOST??

tttedrawings: Fantasy sequences and the intro/life lessons outro, they just make the episodes shorter, and most of the time aren't really needed at all.

MrDonald09: Ah yes unfortunately you can only have 4 options on Twitter polls, I’m sure the list would be huge if you could have more.

MasonDey1: To me the whole concept of the Steam Team is just pointless.

MrDonald09: Yeah it limits the characters that are used most of the time.

PSideplates: I voted for bouncing since it's closest to the general "kids show" tone that BWBA takes on. It really is like watching a show you put on for your 3 year old so you can leave the room in peace. It hurts to watch. If we were getting the Brenner era where the engines bounced, had ugly details, went worldwide, and got Nia and Rebecca, I'd be miffed but accept it. But BWBA just claims to be TTTE and acts like a generic preschool show. And I don't wanna be in a position where I'm an adult watching a preschool show.

MrDonald09: Agreed. I feel proud to be a fan when I watch classic era and Brenner era, but if it was like BWBA throughout the whole show I can tell you I would not be supporting it now.

TCKRangeltoon: I blame Chuggington.

PSideplates: I don't. Chuggington ended before they came up with BWBA. If anything, Chuggington made the market for train toys/shows competitive which forced HiT to make good Thomas products, well toys anyway.

ronniethe14xx: Honestly, disagree with the point it's the most general kids show tone. Travelling seems to be the new hip and cool thing to do in kids shows, I'd argue that makes it slightly worse then the bouncing because it's clear Thomas only jumped on that trend to be "hip".

JovanniChavez11: Faster pace and Thomas losing his identity. I don’t mind Thomas going on a trip but that wasn’t the way to handle it.

MrDonald09: Yes. IMO it should have stopped after the BWBA special, I think it should have only been a special.

Bostonthomasfan: Don’t really mind the bouncing but it can be over done at times. For around the world? I wish there were more episodes on Sodor and less around the world. Like 18-8 would be good.

MikeArc31375512: The bouncing. Loathe it with a passion.

ThomasTVNostal1: The thing I hate is constant arguing over opinions.Some people have been told to fuck themselves for disliking an episode of BWBA that the majority of the fandom likes and vice versa. This is unacceptable. As a fandom, we're a team and we help each other out.

ChillerB3: The forced feminism with Nia, Rebecca and the newer Steam Team really rubbed me the wrong way, more than hyper bouncing and worldwide shit did.

MrDonald09: Same, especially how the majority of the audience really doesn’t care about that, having more females, great! but don’t mess with many people’s childhood to make SJWs and toxic feminists happy cuz I guarantee you the people who wanted this change probably don’t even like the show.

ryanburges4472: I didn't read properly and the real thing since Series 22 that has annoyed me the most is the bouncing. I've been more bothered about the steam team without Henry (Just Henry). I'm happy with Edward sleeping at Wellsworth.

MrDonald09: Yeah, I completely agree honestly i’m not mad that Edward isn’t in the Steam Team anymore. It's Henry that annoys me the most.

ryanburges4472: I know! Gordon and James sleeping at Tidmouth without Henry. Edward is best at Wellsworth because he has a branch line which stars from Wellsworth.

CoolCar161: Henry and Edward stopped appearing as much anyway. They haven’t been good characters since series 4, even in the Brenner era they had little to no appearances due to writer's block. Rivets is a nice little detail that makes them seem more real, Thomas always wanted to see the world and the bouncing is hardly that bad.

TheBlueE21: Thomas' world tour. It's so inconsistent. Doesn't tie into the movie that hyped it up, never explains why or for how long Thomas is in each country, 1 ep he's in China, then Brazil etc then Sodor eps act as though he never left due to always being there. Plus most sets aren't great.

halfbakedhex8: For the record, I voted the 'rivets' option because the inclusion of the new detailing runs so counter to what the show is now, that trying to inflict reality onto the now-very-unreal engines feels very confused as to what the show is trying to achieve.

BluebellThEngin: The "bouncing" doesn't bother me much at first, but as time went on, it starts to get a little out of control and it kinda bugs me. I don't have a problem with the added details like the rivets, but they do look a little too big. Shrink them in size and they'll be okay. I'm mixed on Thomas travelling around the world if I'm being honest. The new Steam Team is what bugs me the most out of all of these options. I never liked it to begin with (minus my child self). It makes the other characters look useless. What I love about the Classic Series is we got lots of stories about almost each and every single one of them it makes the series interesting. But with the Steam Team, not only does it focus on the main characters so much, but it also brings them out of character. Especially if it's for the sake of the plots.

fan_ttte: The New Steam Team with Nia and Rebecca is what I don’t like most. I don’t mind the bouncing or rivets, Thomas going worldwide is okay. I don't know, I just feel like it would’ve been better if Nia and Rebecca did join, but also keep the others, for some interesting interactions and episodes.

islandofodor: If Thomas hadn’t gone worldwide, we’d probably still be in the Brenner era. Granted, it’d still be a slight step down but the international episodes barely take advantage of the different setting and opt to use generic plotlines that we’ve already seen on Sodor.

thesaddletank18: Bouncing, rivets and worldwide idea are bad but the new Steam Team is just....why was this done to the show?

Jacob34335638: I liked the new details, I’m mixed on the New Steam Team, and Thomas travelling the world. But the bouncing is what pisses me off the most, it literally makes the show look like Chuggington. The bouncing was at it’s worst in Journey Beyond Sodor and Thomas’ Magical Birthday Wishes.

TWR_Douglas_10: ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!!!!

DFox1203: Is everything an option?

TheWinnerGuyCJP: Voted worldwide cuz it makes Thomas completely out of character.

SoupyGunzilla: I think a lot of the stories suffer from the shorter time. A lot of them could be better if they had more time.

kofi_milky: The bouncing, more sing alongs, replacing Edward and Henry with Nia and Rebecca. Even Thomas going worldwide. When the Rev. W. Awdry said "Here is your friend Thomas the Tank Engine. He wanted to come out of his station yard and see the world", the world that's he meant is Sodor.

sodordaily: Choosing New Steam Team because I miss the old SO MUCH!

peter_sam_no4: I think for me the bouncing as it’s so unrealistic . A 1 ton lump of metal can not swing all over the place like it has no weight.

Growlithemaste1: I hate the bouncing the most, but the rest are all useless too.

sixteen_dnw: Worst is the New Steam Team, then worldwide, then rivets, and then bouncing. TBH it doesn’t bother me too much.

BearsFlush: It annoys me that Thomas travels the world, as they remove chapters that might be focus on Sodor, and the locations and some engines are not represented correctly on the railroad.

VacentTest: I’m fine with the New Steam Team changing Edward and Henry out for Nia and Rebecca, I’ve always supported it in the beginning because increased feminism is good. Thomas going worldwide, that didn’t annoy me cause I was interested in that, the rivets is minor and nothing to worry about. But the bouncing, annoyed me the most at first but I’m used to it.

SnatchyBoi: The bouncing and the New Steam Team.

GWREngine: The New Steam Team is the most annoying change. It feels like Mattel doesn't care how special Edward, Henry, and Toby are. Plus we don't need to have more than 1 female main character. Emily being the only girl used to make her special. With Nia and Rebecca around, she isn't special anymore.

TurnTable2002: Chris Renshaw's music really annoys me.

MichaelfromNZ1: Bouncing, worldwide and New Steam Team. They represent how far Thomas has fallen since Mattel fully took over.

ArmchairRailway: New Steam Team.

TI4MGP: This is probably the hardest time I’ve had deciding on one of your polls lol. I went with the Steam Team though, but bouncing comes in a REALLY REALLY close second. The other two are less but equal with each other.

jack_bench: TBH, I'm fine with all of them? But I chose bouncing because the rivets are neat, world-tour - while it makes no sense - has a valuable goal (and is kinda fun), and the Steam Team really needed more female representation which we got with two positive role models in Nia and Rebecca. Bouncing is unnecessary, but not horrendous.

Holycro1Michael: Everything!

JosefSnowBall: Rivets was something I actually liked seeing on some engines. Bouncing is something I’m OK with, it’s kind of grown on me. New Steam Team sucks because it gets rid of the 2 best engines, Edward and Henry, and Thomas worldwide sounded like a bad idea to begin with.

TheThomasFan: Probably Thomas going worldwide . The animation is shit and it’s all just recoloured.

TheUnluckyTug: The new Steam Team. I think I'd be a little more accepting of BWBA if Edward and Henry weren't so transparently and obviously thrown to the side and treated as if they don't exist. It was like the biggest "fuck you" to fans ever.

MrDonald09: Yeah, not to mention Nia and Rebecca have such generic personalities they can barely hold a unique episode nowadays. I can understand Edward staying at Wellsworth but they did Henry DIRTY by slapping him at Vicarstown so he can focus on his Mainland duties yet not do any episode focused on this new job.

SteamEn83954980: Ok so ignoring Emily, it was a perfect 1-7 number of characters and now it's just 1, 18, 22, 4, 5, 6 and 12. Like I know it's minor but that fact gets under my skin.

DBlue02: I voted for the bouncing, but yeah, I kinda have to agree with Simon Martin’s opinion on the Steam Team concept, it’s long since overstayed its welcome. I’d prefer a nice balance of the main and side characters getting their share of the spotlight, like in the classic seasons.

TFan512: What if Edward, Henry, Nia and Rebecca were all part of the main cast.

[we-arethenewheroes]

Help me help you -part1

Read the Intro

Synopsis: "I only knew how to party and spend my money until someone didn't want it anymore"

Genre: soulmate-ish!au, fluff, angsty, non-idol!au ⚠️TWO ENDINGS

Warnings: drugs abuse, mention of sexe, (very soft I swear)

Pairing: NCT TAEYONG

Notes: it's not smut guys. Part1 of a 3 part story with a bonus chapter. Also short and easy to read. Sorry if I make any mistake :) look at this cutie plz I'm dying here

He broke up with me.

That ungrateful bastard broke up with.

After everything I've given to him he still managed to go with it, and I can't even approach him. Even the alcohol can make me feel better.

I have to do something, I can't go see my parents like That, what can I say to them? That I broke up with ? Or that he went abroad ? He died ?

"Aaaah I can't tell them that he died or they'll ask me so many questions..."

Yes, I noticed the guy looking at me, but I'm not in the mood.

...wait

I stand up, look at the guy, and just leave the bar. How can I not be in the mood..? Maybe I should just find someone I really like? Maybe it's time for me get married? Have kids?

...or maybe not? :)

I go to my car and drive to the library.

It's the only place that make me feel safe.

I've always been very smart, more than average. School was never a problem for me, and I always liked to study.

The library is quiet, and people don't look at me like I'm just meat. There's so many books, stories, and different people.

We all want the same thing: sit down with a book, and read in peace.

I take "Please Look After Mom" and sit in a corner. There's not a lot of people, just some student, kids reading Naruto in the back.

But there is one person,

One guy that appeals my attention

Not because he's very handsome, but because he seems very familiar...

...Ah! Lee Taeyong ! Wait this guy is Taeyong?? When did he became so handsome ??

Now let me share our story

Y/N, 16 years old

I already told you, I was very good at School, always straight A's, but this guy, Lee Taeyong, was too

"Y/N, A, as always. Lee Taeyong, A, I see you studied hard for this test, you have the best score"

What ? He has the best score? That's impossible!...well I mean, maybe I should just give this one to him.

Later that day, I went to the library. I really wanted to read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for some reason. As I went inside, I saw Lee Taeyong in the corner, reading the 5th book of Harry Potter.

I mean, I gave him the best score but does he has to take the book I wanted to read ??

"Hum, excuse me, Lee Taeyong right ?"

He took his eyes off the book to look at me

"...Yes?"

"Are you gonna read that ? Because I really wanted to read this book and you're getting on my nerves since this morning."

"Hu- why ? Did I do something wrong?"

I just sighed, he really was clueless.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, technically.."

"Well, I already started to read. We can read together if you want, you probably already read all the books so you know the first 2 chapter right?"

"You want me to read with you?

"Why not? And I mean, no one is here anyway so if you're scared that people think that we are datin-"

"Do you think people are this stupid ? To think that we are dating ?"

I sat next to him and dragged my chair so it's closer to him. He looked at me in silence, and we just started to read our book.

Actually, that was pretty fun. After some times, we started to acknowledge one another when we saw eachother at the library. We would chat about books mostly, and how embarrassing it would be for me if people find out that we know eachother.

One day, we were reading the book again, when Taeyong looked at me,

"What are you starting at."

"You know I like you, right?"

"Yea I knew, why?"

"Oh, no just so I know that..you know."

"Lee Taeyong, don't you dare ruin this and ask me to be your girlfriend. You'll be too embarrassed to read with me afterwards. "

"Yeah... you're right"

A week after, I leart that Taeyong had moved to another country. He had a scolarship, and moved to England. And that test, that score that was better than mine, was what made him succeed.

And after almost 10 years, here he is.

Honestly I don't know what to do, I'm just standing there, a book in my hand, looking at Taeyong coming in.

He saw me,oh shit-

I turn around and start to walk in the alley when-

"Excuse me miss!"

...He recognized me.

I turn around to look at Taeyong, with a small smile. He's smiling too

"Y/N ? Is that you?"

He's even more handsome when he smiles.

"Yeah, that's me... Lee Taeyong, right..?"

He laughs, put his arm around my shoulders and ruffle my hair,

" Woaaah, it's been a while !"

"Well I guess if back then you had tell me that you were moving to England we would've keep contacts, and why are you acting like a big brother right now??" I step back to get his arm off me "and honestly, were we that close ? Hum?"

He smiles at me

"Heey, don't be like that, Hum? You always put your head on my shoulder we when we were reading,"

"Because I was tired and you were my pillow."

"We would always chat in the library,"

"About how embarrassing it would be for me if people fund out about are meetings-"

"See ? Meetings, we were friends stop denying it. You were my only friend, and I was your only true friend."

I looked at him for a moment. Then, why did you left me behind ?..

"And, I didn't told you that I was leaving because I wanted to be mysterious, in case we meet again. "

"What?"

"I wanted you to ask around, to try and know why I was missing, and the fact that you know that I moved to England prouves me you did." He smiles at my, all cheeky, I just want to slap his smile off his pretty face.

"And honestly Y/N,"

I look at him "What."

He takes a step and lean, a but to close to my face,

"Look."

"At what ?.."

"At my face. I'm handsome right ?"

Oh my Jesus

I laugh. Wow he's shameless now.

"Why would you tell me that ! Are you shameless our what ? Woaa really I'm speechless"

"So that means yes-"

"I never said that!" I cross my arms

He grin and giggle. He straighten up,

"Hey, Y/N,"

"What again"

"Let's read the Order of the Phoenix together, like the old times. Hum?"

I look at him.

"And are you gonna leave to another country like the old times..?"

He gently laughs

"No, Y/N, don't worry, I'll stay this time."

I slightly pout,

"Okay Then,"

I don't know how much time we spent in the library. We had so much to say to one other. He told me about his years in England. When he started to make friends, to be more confident. That I gave him the courage to talk to people freely, because he knew that he would make friends, if I was his friend.

He told me he still didn't date, to scared for some reason. All the girls were at his feet but he still didn't had the courage, and didn't like any girls at his school.

He said he wanted to contact me, but seeing how much I've changed, how much of a party girl I was on the social media, he got scared and stepped back.

I told him that he changed too. That he got more confident, sassier, cheekier, more handsome. I told him I also got a scholarship. That my relationship with my family got worse than ever. I told him my schedule: the day I work in the bank, at night, I was a party maker, of course shipped the part where I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and that I had so many fling.

We gave eachother our numbers, and promised to stay in contact.

I was happy. It's true that I didn't really remember him after so many years, but I saw him, i was happy. I realised that I did miss him, and for the time we were together, I didn't feel empty anymore, like the "fun" missing in my life was filed.

When we part ways, more like getting kicked out of the library, I was excited to see him again after so many years.

When I got to my empty apartment, I took a shower, changed into my pj, and went to the kitchen to cook myself something. I got tone a message from my party people, I had to tell them I was sick and I couldn't come, the truth is, I didn't feel like I had to party tonight. Or ever again.

We started to meet a lot with Taeyong. He went to my empty apartment, I went to his crappy apartment.

"But like, Taeyong, don't you think you should move ? I know it's just a for-the-time-being apartment, but it's really crappy and suffocating in here" I say as we hear the neighbours fight.

"Yea I know, Its crappy, but Y/N, I got attached to this crappy place. Maybe I'm crappy ? I'm not like you, I never lived in a fancy place !" He say as we hear the neighbours fuck.

"Taeyong, stop lying to yourself."

"Then find me an apartment."

And that's what I did.

The next day I helped him move out of the crappy apartment to the cute apartment next to his work.

Normally, I would've bought him the apartment, and then ask him something in exchange. But I didn't do that. I found the apartment, yes, he bought his apartment.

The same day, I'm just watching TV when I hear my phone ring.

It's Taeyong.

I smile as I read his message,

"[TY]Dear Y/N,

I'm sending this very official message to summon you to my apartment, tonight, because I just meet my neighbour and he's scary. Sending you my location :)

Thanks babe"

"[Y/N]Don't call me babe."

"[TY] Yes, but you comin?"

"[Y/N]omw"

"[Y/N] Don't you think just saying that you miss me would've been less embarrassing than this lie?"

"[TY] No"

I laugh, and wait,

3...2...1-

"[TY] not that I miss you or anything it's because that's the truth !"

I take my coat and go to my car.

After a short ride, I go to Taeyong apartment and knock. He immediately open the door and pull me inside quickly.

"Did he saw you?"

"Who ?"

"My neighbour !"

I laugh "Taeyong you can stop the act"

He looks at me, debating if he should stop or not.

"Okay ! I'll stop! I missed you"

"But you saw me this morning-"

"No, you help me moved, the only time we saw eachother was when we passed eachother in the stairs." He pout, I giggle

"And when we drank that lemonade?"

"You mean when you took the biggest shot of your life and got back to work" he cross his arms, I laugh

"Ok, ok ! I'm here now, so let's eat." I make my way to the kitchen

"Eat...?" He looks at me

I turn around and look at him.

"Don't tell me... you didn't order anything...?"

He smiles. "In the oven, I order pizza 20 minutes ago"

I smile widly

"You're the best"

I go get the pizza in the kitchen and go back to the living room, where Taeyong is sat on the sofa. I put the pizza on the table, sit on the floor next to Taeyong's legs and start to eat.

We're watching a movie, laughing, eating together. I put my head on his knee

"Woah, I ate way to much"

Taeyong looks at me

"Hey Y/N,"

"Hum ?"

"You're sleeping over right?"

I look at him, "Me ?"

He pout and try to look cute. He looks like a sad puppy "Pleaase Y/Nnnnn"

"OK ok! I'll stay, but just tonight"

"Yess" he gets comfortable on the sofa and pat the space next to him "come here"

I do as he say, and sit next to him. He puts his arm around my shoulder and watch TV.

And I can't help but smile.

My heart is beating a little faster, and I feel like millions of butterflies are in my stomach.

He's staring at me. I look at him and see his eyes shining. No men ever looked at me like that.

"Taeyong..."

He just looks at me, leans in and kiss me.

His lips are soft, and his kiss is gentle.

After, he looks at me.

"I think I never dated anyone because I was waiting for you, Y/N."

I smile and look at my hands

"Pff, I knew you liked me..."

We quietly laugh.

"Can I ask you to be my girlfriend now ?"

I giggle

"You can"

He looks at me " I take this as a yes"

I look at him.

I think I just find my soulmate.

A/N: Thanks for reading ! Plz like and reblog and I hope you liked it !💚

#reaction #nct #kpop #nct taeyong #taeyong imagines #taeyong imagine #imagine #taeyong reactions #bts #stray kids #exo #got7 #seventeen #blackpink #red velvet #monsta x #twice #winner #day6 #pentagon #clc #astro #the rose #ateez #ikon #lee taeyong

[cicixdruid]

The Hope Of Autumn, Pt. 1

Author's note: I knew I wouldn't be able to go without writing one of these for long! This is going to be a fanfiction inspired by the upcoming holiday Halloween. It will be a few parts long. Enjoy!

October 11, 2018 4:30 p.m.

"Tyler! Clara! I made Halloween cookies!" Aunt Grace calls up to the two teenagers from the bottom of her staircase.

Grace is absolutely obsessed with Halloween. She goes all out for it every year. She carves a pumpkin every single day from October 1st to the 31st so that on Halloween night, she can proudly show off to the neighborhood children that she, by far, has the most pumpkins in front of her house.

Clara claps when she hears the word 'cookies.' She grabs Tyler's hand eagerly and races downstairs. "I hope you made a bunch!" She calls to Grace, running into the kitchen, still grasping onto Tyler's hand tightly.

"Oh, I made plenty," she assures Clara, placing a plate piled with sugar cookies shaped like little pumpkins onto the table. "Aren't they just precious?"

Clara smiles. "They're absolutely adorable!" She holds one up to Tyler. "Aren't they, Ty?"

He shrugs. "Whatever you say." He just loved seeing Clara get excited over the little things in life.

Tyler holds up a disposable camera and snaps a picture of Clara unexpectedly while she is looking away.

"Really, Tyler?" She giggles.

"I want to have pictures of you smiling. But it looks forced if I tell you beforehand, with you looking in the camera and all. You know how I feel about my candids."

Clara playfully rolls her eyes. She feels bad for Tyler. Though he seems to enjoy taking pictures with disposable cameras, it upsets Clara that since he made his escape with her a number of months ago, he has not been able to spend any time with his first loves: his cameras back at home in his room. Probably collecting a bit of dust by now.

A wave of sadness rushes over Clara. She wishes she could get Tyler's cameras back for him. They were the only things which brought him solace when he was being relentlessly bullied at school, long before she had the chance to be there for him.

Grace notices Clara's expression and offers her a slight smile, as if to convey to her that they would find a way to get Tyler's cameras back somehow.

Clara takes a bite into a cookie. "We should let your parents know you're okay at some point."

Tyler tenses up. "I will when I'm ready."

Clara looks down. "Maybe they'll mail all your things here once they learn you are safe with your aunt, like your clothes.. your phone.. your cameras."

Tyler bites his lip. "We'll see, Clara."

October 12, 2018 9:38 a.m.

Tyler playfully whines when Clara wiggles out of his grip. "We always cuddle in the morning until 10." Though Tyler is feeling a lot better these days, he still heavily relies on Clara's comfort. When she is in his arms, it is impossible for him to feel anxious. When she is near, all is right in the world for him.

Clara chuckles. "I need to find out what our costumes are going to be."

Tyler groans. "Can't it wait?"

She sighs. "I suppose I can browse ideas on my phone while in bed.."

Tyler immediately protests. "No! The world is on hold for us until 10 a.m. like it always is!" His tone is almost angry.

Her heart beating fast, Clara goes back to the bed where Tyler is laying. Tyler has never raised his voice at her before and the fact he just has honestly makes her feel a little bit scared.

Once Clara is back in his arms, he feels calm again. Taking a deep breath, he whispers, "I'm sorry, my love. I just.. Want to spend time being close with you is all."

Clara nods, her heartbeat steadying.

Tyler kisses her forehead. "I won't yell at you again. I promise."

In reality, Tyler does not want to dress up in a costume for Halloween. To him, it sounds corny and boring. He just wanfs to spend these next several cold months under 5 blankets with Clara, staying warm with her nestled up to him. But he has given the idea some thought and figures that if it makes Clara happy, he will do it.

October 13, 2018 7:01 a.m.

Clara re-reads her letter for what has to be the fifth time.

Mr. & Mrs. Down,

I am a friend of your son's. I promise he is safe with me and your sister/sister-in-law. She is no longer living in the same place she was when you last spoke to her so please don't bother trying to hunt her down. Tyler is not ready to return home. He is not ready to face everything that has happened to him in his past there. I know he will reach out to you in his own time when he is ready. He will tell you why he feels he can never return home when he is ready. And I know he loves you. All that has happened still has an impact on him but he is as happy as he could possibly be here with me. I hope you will respect his wishes. I just want you to know he is well. I have put a few pictures of him in here so you have some proof that he is alive and well.

Clara folds up the letter and places it in a white envelope. She grabs the two pictures of Tyler she had secretly taken of him: one at the carnival and one at the store a few weeks ago and places them inside of the envelope as well.

With Tyler sound asleep, Clara is able to make her way out of their bedroom without him noticing. She walks down the staircase slowly, careful to not make a single sound on the way down. With a smile and a nervous sigh, she hands the letter to Grace who is waiting downstairs. She plans to drop the letter off at her sister's house on her way to work this morning.

Grace places her hand on Clara's shoulder. "All is well."

She places the envelope in her purse. "Stay inside today. It is going to be pretty chilly."

Clara nods. "I should head back before he wakes up."

Clara heads back upstairs and crawls back into bed next to Tyler. She runs her hand through his curls and whispers gently to him, "All is well."

When noon rolls around and the boy has yet to awake, Clara decides to do some more costume planning. She takes out her phone, sets her notifications on silent mode so nothing will disturb Tyler and starts browsing the internet for ideas.

#tyler down #tyler down fanfiction #tyler down fan fiction #tyler down imagine #devin druid #13 reasons why imagine #13 rw #13 reasons why fanfiction #13rw #13 reasons why #thirteen reasons why #the hope of autumn

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Amanda's new puppy

Luka, Damien and Avery talking about something, Craig walks over.

Craig: What are you guys talking?

Luka: (looks him) It's kind of A secret.

Craig: Bro, tell me. I'm good at keeping secrets.

Luka: (rises eyebrow) Craig, dude, do you remember that one time you told everyone that Alex was going to proposed to me on my 24th birthday including me.

Craig: ... ... You need to let go of the past, Luka.

Luka thinks for a moment, then hold up his phone and sees a picture of an adorable Black and white border collie puppy.

Luka: I'm getting Amanda a puppy~.

Craig: Holy crap! What a cutie. Luka, that's great.

Damien: Indeed it is. She's been at the shelter for a few months, her other siblings have already been adopted, * starts tearing up* I-I'm just so happy to see this little one find forever Home~ (starts crying)

Avery: (pat Damien on the back) She's a healthy lady. Good puppy play, loves kids and people. And gets very well with other dogs big and small She's just need a few more shots before you can take her home, Mr. Jarvis. Give it a until tomorrow.

Luka: (grins) Perfect. (signs the papers)

The Next Day, Luka works into the animal Shelter, Damien in his volunteer clothing is holding a small Black and white border collie puppy.

Luka: Morning~. (sees the puppy) Hi, sweetie. Ready to go home. (takes the puppy from Damien and and she start licking his face)

Damien: I'm so grateful that you are giving this little girl a good home.

Luka: Of course. She will be very loved and taken care of.

Damien: ... ... ... (burst into tears and and hugs tightly)

Luka: ... ... Um... There there, man. It's... okay?

Puppy: (start looking Damien's face)

Mary: (walks over and sees, then pats) Dams, sweetheart, it's okay. Let go of Luka. (pulls of him of and watchable as Damien walked away still crying)

Luka: ... Is... he gonna be okay???

Mary: Oh, Damien will be okay. He gets very emotional when people adopt animals here. (looks at puppy and smiles at her) Did you tell Amanda yet?

Luka: Not yet. She's still has no idea. I'm going to Preiser when she gets home from school.

Mary: Oh, this is something I need to be a part of. What time is she coming home?

The talked for a while long before saying their goodbyes.

Luka put a harness and leash on the puppy and said a good to Mary, and headed out the door.

He spot Robert walking out of Avery's with Betsy.

Robert: Thanks, Doc.

Avery: No problem. If her ear is acting up again let me know and I can write out A prescription.

Betsy: (running out and spots Luka down the hall and makes a beeline for him)

Luka: (looks down, and smiles) Hello there, Miss. Betsy. (bends down and pets her)

Robert: (walks over, and smiles at Luka) Hey, baby doll. (about to give Luka a kiss when spots the puppy)

The Puppy walks up to Betsy, and sniffs her, then Betsy licks her and the two start playing.

Luka: Heh. That's so cute. Guess they're best buddies now. Huh, Robert? (looks over at him) Robert?

Robert: ... (has his hands over his mouth, tears welding up) Where... did you get that puppy?

Luka: (picks up the puppy, and holds her) From here. Amanda's has been wanting a dog for a while.

Robert: What!? You adopted a dog without tellin'!? How could you, Luka!? I thought we had something!!

Luka: (rises an bow) Well, Amanda doesn't know.

Robert: No shit. It's a surprise. But who else knows!?

Luka: Damien, Dr. Zuckerman, Mary. Oh, Brain and Craig know.

Robert: ... ... what the hell, man!? You told Brain and Craig, and not tell your boyfriend!?

Luka: (rolls eyes) Stop being a drama queen, Robert.

Robert: (glares at him)

Luka: Here. (hold out the puppy) You can be the first to hold her.

Robert: ... ... (looks at the puppy)

The little was looking at him with her big brown eyes, her curly tail wagging. Robert it's not just her out of Luka's arms and hold her tightly. The puppy starts to lick his face.

Luka: What do you think? she's a cutie, huh?

Robert: God, Yes!

The two walked out the Shelter together.

Robert: What are your name?

Luka: It's Amanda's dog. She gets name her.

Robert: How about Killer?

Luka: No.

Robert: Alright, Dutches is a good name.

Luka: That's the name of Hugo's dog.

Robert: ... Alright, I like Allie, though.

Luka: That's a... really nice name.

Robert: BatMan or BatGirl.

Luka: Okay, now stop.

Robert: Betsy the second.

Luka: (groans)

Later On That Day.

Amanda comes walking into the house.

Amanda: Popsicle! You're amazing daughter just came home.

Luka: (pokes his head out from the kitchen) Hi, Bug. How was school? (walks up to her, and kisses her on the forehead)

Amanda: Same old same old. Oh, Ernest just join the football team at school.

Luka: Good for him.

Amanda: How was your day, dad?

(Sits down on the couch)

Luka: Not bad. Say, Amanda, I've doing a lot of thinking and I think we should get a dog.

Amanda: (eyes light up) Really!?

Luka: Nope.

Amanda: Aww. (pouts)

Luka: Because I have a got you one. (smiles)

Amanda: Wait what!?

Robert: (comes walking into the living room holding the puppy)

Mary: (holding up a iPhone recording)

Amanda: (sits there on the couch, speechless) O-Oh, my... god. I-Is that... real!?

Robert placed the puppy on the couch next to Amanda, the puppy walked right to Amanda her tail wagging like crazy.

Luka: Meet your new puppy, panda.

Amanda: (starts to cry and picks up the puppy) O-OH, MY GOOOOD!!! (hold her close) I love her!!! Dad, I love her!? What's her name?

Luka: She's your dog, you have to pick one.

Amanda: (jumps from the couch) Daaaad!! Thank you!! I... (starts crying again)

Mary: I think Amanda loves her new puppy.

Robert: (smiles sweetly when as he watches as watches the two)

Later on that day, Amanda was taking pictures and playing with the puppy.

Luka: (smiles) Well... I'm the number 1# dad of the cul-de-sac~.

Robert: Don't let say that in front of Brain, he'll try to out dad you, Luka.

Luka: (chuckles) Probably. But I really do owe you and Mary for making this extra special for Amanda. Really means a lot to me.

Robert: (smiles, and kisses Luka) Only because you're a great man and hell of a dad, babe.

They kisses again when the door ring.

Luka: (blinks) Wonder who that can be. (walks to the door, opens) Huh!? Val! (smiles) Please come in.

Val: (walks into) Good too see ya, Luka. (hugs him) Lookin' good, old man. Still need to shave, though.

Robert: Haha. I guess. (walks over and hugs are) What are you doing here, Val? Everything okay?

Val stayed quiet for a moment, she put her hands on her hips face turned pink.

Amanda: (pops her head through the doorway) Oh, sis! You're here already? (walks over hold the puppy)

Val: Oh. My. God. SUCH A CUTIE~! (runs over to Amanda, hashing over)

Luka: ... ... Well, okay then.

Robert: (chuckles)

Val: (looks over at Luka) You tell anyone about this, they'll never find your body.

Luka: Haha. Good one.

Val: ... I'm being serious.

Luka: U-Um... Okay. No problem.

Val: (smiles) Hehe, I'm kidding, Luka.

Luka: Oh, thank god.

Val: (glares at him) Or am I?

Luka: Will you knock it off!? You're worst than your father!!!

Robert: Hahahaha!!!

Amanda: Welcome to your new weird family, Kodama~. (kisses the puppy)

#dream daddy damien #robert dream daddy #dream daddy amanda #dadsona #dream daddy mary #val dream daddy

[seacreek]

I don't want to write anything where irl friends would see (no one is gonna see this here anyway) but I need to get this out of me.

Liiiikeeeee

I was (am?) literally the most suicidal I've ever been in my life today (is today over if it's 2 am?) and not only can I tell that to NO ONE, but it's like God was fucking rubbing it my face all day. I actually laughed at one point bc I was driving behind someone thinking of whether I should try to do it at home or somewhere else when I noticed their license plate said KYS and then a mashup of my birthday numbers.

But like I've already been feeling this building bc I'm behind on bills and have no heat and it's gonna snow soon and it's the holidays which remind me that my family is all spread out and I don't really talk to my parents anymore and somedays I talk to no one at all but my cat and my life is going NOWHERE with no way to change that but to work myself even harder when I don't even feel like I have anything at all to give anymore.

And I already felt like calling out bc even though I chose to work Thanksgiving yesterday knowing I'd be the only one there, it was still depressing to know that normal people are with friends and family and I'm not. But I also didn't want to take up my neighbors/friends on their offers to join them bc I did that last year and got all the questions about what I was doing with my life and at the time I actually believed I'd be going back to school the next year but now I realize how I can't possibly afford that without accepting help from someone which would BE my neighbors bc my parents would not help and I can't pay for it alone. And I can't accept help from them bc I feel like I would just get overwhelmed and depressed and flunk out and waste their money anyway. And the other reason I couldn't go over there/can't is bc I already feel like such a burden to them. They do all this nice stuff for me all the time and I catch myself even EXPECTING it at times which is fucking disgusting. Even if I'm grateful and say thank you, it's not like they owe me anything just bc I have no one else to give it to me. So I need to stop accepting their help and gifts, but then I know they are judging me for that bc even though their really nice, they are also super judgmental and they really like me bc they think I have "potential", but if they knew that I'm actually just a natural born idiot and failure, they'd never want to talk to me in the first place. And also it's unhealthy probably how much I rely on their validation bc since I've known them since I was little, I'm almost using them as surrogate parents which is also fucked up bc they are not my parents, they have their own kids who actually have their lives together unlike me who is just like a pet project of theirs.

Soooo anyway I already had all this on my mind and more going into work today and when I get there, I look at the schedule and realize everyone called out but me!!!!

And so I had to make a frankenstein schedule out of all of theirs to prioritize what needed to get done and was still trying to do little favors for people in between that I didn't want to disappoint bc it wasn't their fault that their staff wasn't there to do it with them and it was getting super overwhelming. And then I'm super sensitive so when I'd have to tell someone that I COULDN'T do something extra for them that they really were looking forward to, it was already punching me in the gut to see their disappointment. But then the worst part is that they don't fully get that I'm not just choosing to do that out of spite, but I legitimately had negative amounts of time to get everything done so they would blame me for what I couldn't do for them. EVEN THOUGH I WAS WORKING LIKE 4 SCHEDULES IN 1. Like they don't have the capacity to think past what's in front of them sometimes which I understand it's not their fault, but it SUCKS bc then they are pissed at me even though I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to do everything for everyone and keep them all happy and they should really be annoyed with my coworkers who didn't come in but I didn't even throw them under the bus bc it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I'm the person in front of them who is "refusing to do what they ask" so it's my fault.

So that's how my day is going everywhere I go as I rush from person to person and place to place, answering calls, improvising on the spot, and constantly having to tell someone that whatever they had planned on today isn't possible and dealing with the result of that. And the WHOLE TIME I am DAYDREAMING about how I'm gonna kill myself when I get home. Maybe slit my wrists, wait no my leg because I know I'll chicken out on the wrists, wait no, I'll drive out to the ocean and just swim out until I'm drowning too far out to save myself, wait no, what bridges could I jump from let me google that, wait no, I could take all of the pills at home together but then I might throw them up so wait no, maybe I'll drag this out and just not eat or drink til I just die nah that takes too long etc etc etc. And I'm really thinking this is gonna happen tonight bc I already wrote a letter monday or tuesday and I'm sure they'll find that pretty fast when they look in my journals so I don't even have to worry about that part, just the doing. So I'm contemplating my end of life and getting more anxious and sad with every hour passing bc I'm really thinking this is it, this is the day I'm out. But really I keep getting caught up bc my CAT who is sadly the one being on earth that I love who could never understand, is at home. And I'm thinking about how if I kill myself while she's there and it takes time for people to realize I'm missing/find me, she will be sad/hungry/thirsty in the meantime. Which is so unecessary and all of my suicide plans get scrapped if they involve direct trauma of another being and she's the one that means the most, so how could I be so selfish as to not make a plan for her?

So I'm thinking of how I have to sneak her to my sister's place while she's still at work and that's stressful enough but more so bc then I'll have a time limit on getting this done bc as soon as she comes home and sees kaiya there without me and no explanation, she'll start blowing up my phone and when I don't answer, she'll call someone. And I don't want to do that in a pressured state, I need time to process everything and think about life and what I'm doing. Plus, what if I decide not to??? (Which is what ended up happening for tonight anyway) I would've done all that for nothing and then had to confess when she found kaiya anyway and have to go to a psych ward or something which would just ruin my life faster but make it harder to get out.

So I'm thinking ALL this ALL day while working my ass off yet still disappointing everyone and swallowing tears that would turn into sobs every hour until it's time to go home.

Then I drive home and even though I pray to God to send me some sign that he cares, he doesn't.

At this point, I've already lost the fire under me so I know this is another night where I just get through it, cuddle kaiya, and wake up the next day to do it all over and I've accepted that in a way.

Then 1 am rolls around and my sister calls me to say she stopped by a party where she ran into my old best friend and friends from high school. None of whom cared enough about me to even ask what I was up to these days, even though they were talking to my SISTER. And that whole growing apart thing took such a toll on me mentally and I do feel like I'm over it now these days, but it still brought up these gross sad feelings of when I was first realizing that they didn't really care about me anymore and then fully understanding that I didn't matter to them. Which hurt SO MUCH bc they were a ride or die for me, like I would have done anything for them and I never even DOUBTED they didn't feel the same until it was so obvious I had to stop pretending around it. And that fucked with ALL of my relationships with people. Every single friend I had, I started pulling away from bc I was so insecure in myself that I felt like I had to get away from them before they had the chance to drop me which I now felt was inevitable. To this day, I feel like I have a body count of of people that I desperately want to talk to, but don't let myself bc I feel like they don't deserve to have to put up with a person as shitty and worthless as me. And I do that in every possible relationship I have, platonic, romantic, and even familial. And I can't blame them for that bc they were just a normal person growing apart from someone I guess, but I think it triggered something laying dormant in me so badly that it was actually the catalyst for my inability to connect with other people in meaningful ways. I never meet a new person anymore with the belief that they will be in my life for more than a few years at most. Most people I expect to be gone within a week or two. My walls are up so high that it's actually selfish that I even talk to people at all bc I only end up hurting them when I pull away for seemingly no reason at all. And I'm too much of a coward to tell them that there's nothing wrong with them, I just can't get that close to people anymore. Like it actually makes me physically sick to think of carrying on normal relationships with people which is SO fucked. But then I turn into the villain bc I'm worried that they'll develop the same fear of people and I'll be the cause of it. Like I'm a vampire. But I isolate myself and then get to a certain point where I think "I'll try again!! And this time will be different!! I'll really have someone new in my life!" And then I am super friendly and doing my best to be good and making plans and whatever. But then I start getting that sick feeling again, like what if what if they just haven't realized how much I suck and how disappointing I am yet, they'll definitely realize it soon and I come up with some random specific reason why they'd actually hate me if they knew "THIS" about me and I start detaching myself and then flake on plans and then disappear. And then spend weeks worrying myself sick that I permanently damaged their trust in people!!! But then I get lonely again and the pattern starts again!! All traced back to this moment in time where it actually hit me that people's affection for you can disappear in the blink of an eye no matter how much you thought they cared about you. So clearly love is conditional and just that thought alone is enough to make me want to end it all!!

So yea, just a shit day with shit cherries and cream on top.

And now it's 3am and I have to wake up in 5 hrs to do this again.

And all of this is still something no one will know if or until it comes spilling out and then my life will either be changed forever or over.

But yea, drew that lion the other day.