#'once I'd like to think I was worthy but now I know that I am not. I have wasted my chances and made too many mistakes' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bandgie · 4 months

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Hate You So

prince!bangchan x fem!reader

MDNI 18+, fantasy au, enemies-to-lovers (kinda), oral (f!), cum swapping, brief overstim (f!), biting, brief thigh humping

ask here! notes: I am not taking requests, however, I am interested in this one with my own version ofc

3.2k words

There is never a dull moment with Prince Chan. His words are belittling, his eyes are full of scorn when he looks at you in all his ruthless beauty. Sometimes you wish you could ignore his piercing gaze, but he bores his eyes into the back of your head so harshly you feel it burning.

Even without his hatred, it would be hard to turn away from him. With full lips, plump cheeks, and strong nose, it really is hard to think of him as anything below attractive. Still, you know better than to approach him unless you wish to cry yourself to sleep that night.

A masked ball is the perfect opportunity for you to slip away. Pretend to be someone you're not, or perhaps it's to show your true self behind a false face. Not that it matters. A night like this allows you to put the puzzling hatred the prince has for you far behind your mind.

Drink after drink, spin after spin and you find yourself in the arms of the Viscount Felix. You can tell it's him from the way he adorns himself in jewelry, his hair the color of the sun itself. His deep blue robe stitched with silver treading in layers. It must be difficult to dance in heavy clothes, but he twirls you in his arms easily.

"Ah, isn't it the beautiful Duchess," he regards you with a sly smirk. His eyes peek out from his silver mask underneath.

You narrow your eyes, though you doubt he can see much of your facial expressions from your black mask. "How did you know?" To this, Felix's smirk widens to a smile. "Even behind such a clever guise, your charm seeps through the fabric."

You mock the sound of laughter. "Is this a trick of flattery to get my hand in marriage? To help you rise higher than a Viscount?"

Felix's eyes gleam with mischief. "You think too highly of yourself, dear Duchess. I simply wish to lay in your bed."

Now you laugh. Your voice is swallowed from the sounds of heels clicking on the ground and loud chatter. The two of you dance steadily despite the liquor running in your veins. Felix is careful not to spin you too fast or dip you too low. He may speak vulgar, but he is every bit gentleman in every other way.

"I think I'd like that very much, if I'm to be truthful," you say once you're swaying evenly in his hold. "I can't recall the last time I've been properly loved." Felix makes a sound of understanding, eyes darting to the people around you.

It's improper of you to speak in such a way. You are of high status, and talking like this not only in public, but to someone of lower ranking is foolish. Still, it's this potty mouth that gives you and Felix such a close bond. The fact that you can speak freely without judgment.

Chris does not share your sentiment.

He can hear your crass words from where he dances with his own partner. It sickens him to know that you openly express lustful desires, but it disturbs him even more that he finds himself jealous.

His partner is speaking, but he doesn't pay attention to any words she says. He strains his ears to eavesdrop on the conversation with you and the brightly hair-colored Viscount.

"Is that so?" Chris hears the deep voice of the man dancing with you. "Sounds like that is quite the problem. Has no one caught your eye? Do you think no one is worthy of seeing your wholeness?"

You react as if you tire of your dancing partner, rolling your eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. The person I have my eye on would rather see me burn, that's all." The smile on your lips falter. Despite his better self, Chris wonders who would turn down such an opportunity to spend a night with you. What a foolish man.

"And pry tell, who is this person?" Felix speaks as though he read Chris's mind.

"The Prince."

Ah, that makes sense. Chris can't count the amount of times he's upset you, the times he's spewed swears cruel enough to make your eyes water. He brushed it off as you being too sensitive, too emotional. But he knows deep down, it's so he doesn't get close to you.

Felix's eyes widen and his jaw drops. He looks at you with alarm, and some fear, then he hisses under his breath. "I am not one to tell you what to do and how to speak, but I highly suggest you refrain from speaking ill about the royal blood in their own castle."

He has a point, it's treason to speak how you are now. But the alcohol makes not only your thoughts, but your words careless. "So then tell me, what do you suggest? I tire of my lonely state. I think I'm up for any suggestions you have."

Before Felix answers, his eyes dance around the room one last time to spot any itching ears. Chris, despite being a prince, turns his head to finally acknowledge his partner and try to pick up on the conversation. Once Felix determines there are no listeners, he says, "Perhaps you should lure the prince into your sheets. You say you want love, but I argue hate is a much more fun way to spend the night."

A wicked smile finds its way to Felix's lips that you can't help but match. "Now look who's speaking ill" you say. "Plus, that's a terrible idea. I will regret it in the morning."

To this, Felix shrugs. "Then let him make sweet hate to you past sunrise."

☘︎☘︎☘︎☘︎

Chris should know his luck is thin. Only the universe would have him push you away so much so only for you to want him with the same intensity. It mocks him even now as you stand outside of his chambers when he wanted to get away from you as far as possible.

"Did you follow me here?" He questions you with authority. You swoop into a deep curtsy and bow your head, "Yes, your majesty."

You don't have to look up to know he's sneering at you, lips pulled back into a snarl. Felix, along with the bitter alcohol, gave you too much confidence. Sure you may not be of low status, but standing before a prince unnerves you.

Especially when you followed him with intentions.

"If you want me to ask why, you will be disappointed. Leave me." Chris looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to take those steps back. You never do, however, but instead pick your head up and stride deeper into his room, shutting the door.

His eyebrows furrow and a blush crawls its way up his neck. Chris tries to mask his surprise with anger. "Stupid wrench. Can you not listen to simple instructions?" His eyes that are filled with anger slowly dissipates when he sees you reel back at his words.

You fiddle with your hands nervously and you suddenly feel as though you cannot do this at all. How are you, a duchess, supposed to ensnare a prince who hates you so? Doubt clogs your mind, but you are already here. It would be far too shameful to turn away without even trying.

"Why do you hate me so?" That's not what you were supposed to say. You were supposed to sound flirtatious, experienced. Instead, you're meek and quiet. For a moment you doubt the prince even heard you, but the disheartened look in his eyes says otherwise.

He sighs, running his jeweled fingers in his brown hair. A prince is to never be vulnerable, to show weakness in fear of exploitation. In the presence of your teary eyes, however, none of that seems to matter.

Chris takes a deep breath, "I hate you for many things."

Your jaw drops. You're not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. A foolish part of you thought maybe it was a misunderstanding, but there's no time to reply when the prince carries on.

"I hate that I think about you every hour of everyday. I hate that you live freely while I have to act accordingly." He takes a step to you. "I hate how you look at me with those hidden eyes. I hate it even more that I know it's you underneath that plain mask." Chris is close enough to reach for your face and he does just that. Gentle fingers undo the knot that keeps your mask on and he lets it fall to the ground.

"I hate that I know your voice, that I ache to hear it. I hate that I know in which way you walk, should you be in my castle." His fingertips ghost over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "I hate that I dream of you and I hate when I wake from those dreams."

Chris traces the outline of your lips, watching how your tongue darts out to taste his fingers. He shudders.

"Worst of all," he leans close to your face, a kiss away from you. "I hate that it's only for one night that I will be yours."

You don't kiss him back at first. You can't even register his plush lips on yours. How they move steadily, sickly sweet. The prince tastes faintly of alcohol, but not enough to overpower his kiss. You come back to when his hands find your waist, pressing you closer to his warm body.

A part of you thinks maybe this is a test. That when you begin moving your mouth with his, he'd pull away and laugh. Chris doesn't do that though and instead groans against your lips when you finally reciprocate.

Shaky hands find their way to his styled hair, tugging on his curls to bring him closer. It doesn't take long before you're both chest to chest, one of his legs between yours as you stand, and breathing into each other's mouths. His kiss is bruising, filled with the overwhelming desire he claims to hate.

Chris nips on your lower lip, pulling it back harshly to hear you whimper. Then he kisses you again, messily sliding his tongue against yours. His lips travel down your cheek, your jawline, to your neck. You shiver at his warm tongue tasting your skin, hips rocking on his thigh.

The grip on your waist only tightens to keep pressure on you grinding on him. You feel him smile against your throat. "Humping me like a little bunny, aren't you?" He lifts his head to whisper in your ear, biting your earlobe. "Is my leg enough to satiate your lust?"

You shake your head, "N-no. It's not, my prince." Chris rewards your honesty by moving his hands from your waist. He lifts the many layers of your dress in bunches, holding them above your hips. You take the hint and grasp them in your own fingers, watching him descend lower...

...and lower... ...and lower...

The prince kneels before you, facing your core. You gasp, and despite dreaming about this with your hand underneath your nightgown, it's still an unbelievable sight. No royal blood is to kneel before another, let alone you of lower ranking.

"Prince Christopher!" You sound slightly panicked. "You mustn't! To kneel before...not even that! You must have drunken one too many glasses. I shouldn't have-"

You cut yourself off with a yelp. You feel Chris's teeth dig into the soft flesh of your thighs. He does it hard enough to see his teeth imprints when he pulls back. "You think of me drunk," he says it with accusation. "But how could I be drunk off wine when I could be drunk off this instead?"

Though you can't see him from the frills of the many layers of your dress, it helps ease your nerves when he hooks his finger under your panties. Your hips jolt when the cold air hits your bare cunt, but his warm breath quickly replaces it.

Chris trails kisses just next to your core, his hands planted on each thigh. His fingers makes shapeless figures, dancing closer to where you throb just before pulling away. It's bearable it first, his teasing. But then you start to feel yourself dripping, arousal seeping from your folds. His lips ghost over your clit, moving to the next thigh.

You tremble, trying to move your hips so his mouth catches your pussy. You're met with a chuckle, deep and quiet. It makes you more impatient, whining. "My prince please. I cannot bear it."

The prince pulls away from you completely, leaning back to look up at you. He looks silly beneath where you stand. His mouth red and curls messy from your earlier tugging, but his wet lips are frowning. "Are you, a duchess, telling me, a prince, what to do?"

Shit, you got too comfortable. "Of course not," your voice wavers. From fear or lust, you're not sure. "I didn't mean to offend you, I just-"

"You're quite the nervous talker, aren't you?" Chris's once pouting lips turn into a smirk. His observation makes you blush, though you're sure your face was already a deep shade of red since the beginning.

He smiles at your reaction, teeth gleaming in the candlelit room. "No need to fret, pretty duchess. I told you that tonight I am yours. If my mouth on you is what you desire, then so be it."

You watch as Chris dives forward to the empty space between your legs. His tongue darts out to taste you directly, going under your lower lips to collect your arousal. The warmth from his mouth makes you squeal, but his hands move to the back of your thighs to keep you in place.

It's hot, wet, and a little rough when he licks you. He trails his tongue upwards to rub soft circles on your nub before dipping back down. Chris moves his hands higher until they're under your hiked dress, gripping your arse. His fingers kneed into your soft flesh, forcing you deeper into his mouth.

There's a guttural moan that leaves him, sending waves through your cunt. Chris opts to suck on your flesh, pulling it only to let it go with a wet 'pop!' The sensation makes you shiver, legs buckling for a second before you regain your composure.

"This is..." the prince trails off. He buries his nose on your clit, sticking his tongue out to prod at your entrance. There's no doubt that the evidence of your shame is dripping from his chin, but he acts as though he doesn't mind. He hardly cares how your legs squeeze and how the hair on your pelvis tickles his face when he painfully pushes his face deeper into you.

This is divine.

You want nothing more than to grind on his face, hump on his tongue like the bunny he said you are. But your legs shake so much, your knees lock so often you see your vision go black for seconds. Finishing on the prince's face is something you could have only dreamt of. Yet here he is, seeming to eagerly coax a release from you. Surely he must be flushed himself, straining painfully in his trousers.

"P-Prince Christopher I- oh~ I'm so close. Do you want me to...should I..."

It's difficult to finish your sentence when you're so close to finishing in his warm mouth. You want to taste him how he's doing to you, you want to feel how his length would stretch you out. He must feel the same way, he has to.

But he only shakes his head with your pussy still in his mouth. "You should cum," he says breathlessly. "Let me taste this, drink you in. I've never had a cunt as pretty as yours."

Hot kisses rapidly peck on your clit. The prince spits messily on your already wet core, but he quickly spreads it all over your lips. Chris moves you up and down by your ass, encouraging you to ride his face. The idea of hesitating and passing the opportunity is behind you. You feel as though you might crush his head with the force of your legs, but he takes it all.

It makes sense why you're moaning, writhing under the tongue of the prince. But it makes you wonder why he's so loud himself. Groaning at your taste and whining when your hips shy away from his relentless mouth. You can hear him mumble mostly to himself. Mindlessly babbling soft words of praises.

"So good." "Pretty pussy." "Fuck. Ride my tongue, just like that."

Maybe he's trying to help get you to your high, but it makes you distantly wonder, nonetheless.

You whimper at the feeling of pleasure building in your stomach. It bundles and quivers until you drop the hem of your dress to reach down and grip Chris by the hair. He ignores how the layers surround him like blankets. You feel him gasp against your pussy when you slide your cunt up and down his face.

"S-sorry," you apologize pathetically. "Close. Wanna cum- fuck! wanna cum. Please forgive me." You mewl more apologies before vibrating with pleasure. Chris can't protest as you finish on his tongue, and he seems to rather like it with the way his blunt fingernails stab into the skin of your bottom.

You keep him there on your cunt as your body trembles with aftershocks from your orgasm. The prince obediently licks you throughout it all, collection your cream before loudly gulping it down. Your shaky hands finally release him from your grip, but Chris is persistent on giving your quivering clit final kisses.

Even if you try to move your hips from his mouth, he keeps you in place. "Your majesty," you struggle to find your voice from how much you were moaning. "Please. It's so sensitive."

He licks a fat stripe along your pussy to hear you cry out one final time. "You ask for me to taste you. You practically beg for me to let you finish on my tongue and when I do, you tell me to stop. Tell me, duchess, what is it that you want from me exactly?"

It's a simple question that has a simple answer, yet, saying it would bring complicated issues you know neither of you are able to face.

You. The word is on the tip of your tongue, but you settle for saying, "T-to please you, if you'll have me." It's close enough to what you actually want.

Chris finally brings himself to his feet, reaching for your fallen mask on his way up. He hands you the fabric, but you're so distracted with his face that you gasp.

He's soaked in your juices, his face glistens in the rising moonlight coming from his window. It's almost offensive to look at, reminding you of how you lost yourself so easily.

The prince only smiles at your words, your shocked expression. "Don't worry about my pleasure, pretty duchess." He leans in to kiss you, eyes fluttering closed upon impact. You can taste yourself on him, the bitter flavor settling on your tongue and invading your senses. It brings a new wave of desire, of an aching want.

"There," he gives you a dazzling smile when he pulls away. A string of saliva mixed with your arousal connect your lips. "Have a taste of yourself instead."

#smut #skz smut #skz #stray kids #stray kids smut #skz bangchan #skz bang chan #skz chris smut #skz chris #skz channie #skz chan smut #bangchan smut #bangchan x reader #bangchan fanfic #skz felix #stray kids bang chan

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eyebagshawty · 6 months

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Is It Really You? (Part 1)

Pairing: Astarion x Spawn!Reader

Summary: While Astarion is roaming the streets for Cazador's next meal, he stumbles upon someone crying near the edge of the lower city. Turns out, you wouldn't be a worthy victim, and you're a lot closer to him than you may imagine.

Song Inspo: Is It Really You? By Loathe

Warnings: Canon-typical violence/cruelty, mentions of abuse, mentions of trauma, NSFW (18+ ONLY), Cazador is his own warning

Other Tags: Slow burn, eventual smut, fem!Reader, soulmates

A/N: Hello! I wanted to make a self indulgent first installment to this playlist event I’ve got linked below. This will probably be more than 2 parts. I'd love to create a tag list if folks are interested, but alas I do not know how. If you would like to be tagged in future updates, please comment below or message me and I'll make sure to add you.

Part 2 Part 3

Your dagger sliced through the belly of a dead sheep, your hands immediately moving to inspect the entrails. While magic in Faerûn was quite advanced, nobody had succeeded in finding out how to perfectly see the future. This meant that most had to resort to unusual forms of divination, such as haruspicy. This involved the sacrifice of an animal, inspecting the entrails, and speaking to the god that blessed one with this ‘talent’.

Your thumb rolled over the small intestine, causing your eyes to roll back into your skull. “Well girl, what do you see? Say it,” Cazador hissed, his nails digging into the sides of your throat. The dark lady, Shar, whispered into your thoughts.

“Lady Jannath will agree to your request to meet, you will acquire 6 spawn,” you mumbled, your mouth dry and lips trembling. Your head reeled as your eyes rolled back into place, your vision a little blurred as you got your bearings. You were so hungry, but you knew the vision wasn’t good enough to acquire more than a rat.

“And what of the deal?” His nails clenched harder, just breaking the skin of your neck. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes, fear nestling into the depths of your stomach.

“The dark lady knows nothing of the deal. The shadows were too great to understand if you would gain control over the area. All she told me is that you will keep the power you have now at least, my lord.” You choked out. With the grasp he had on your neck, he threw your head into the sacrificial table in front of you. You crumbled to the ground, hands immediately covering your head in defense. “Please my lord, I am hungry. It is all she allowed me to see I beg of you.” He tugged you by your hair onto your knees and bent down so that both of you were eye level with one another. You felt the all too familiar intrusion of your mind, your every vulnerable thought being exposed to him. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact with him; his thumb traced the ridge and squeezed it when he had pried all available information from you.

“I see you do not lie. Leave and fetch another animal, something larger. We will do this again, and you will tell me how this deal ends. Once you do, you will be fed.” You stood, and were roughly pushed to the door, feet tripping over each other as you grasped the door frame for support. “Now! Leave. My. Sight,” he hissed, the door slamming closed behind you as you stumbled through the darkness of the castle halls.

Astarion kicked a pebble with his shoe, slowly walking through the quiet streets of the lower city. His goal for tonight was the Elfsong, maybe a lonely human down on their luck and 5 drinks deep. His skin crawled at the thought, disgust with himself, with Cazador, worming it’s way through his veins.

He let his mind drift, thinking about the past 200 years — he at least thought it was around 200 years, but he had honestly lost count around year 5. He was nowhere near the Elfsong, instead walking near the edge of the city near the woods. Cazador surely can’t punish me more if I get his meal back to him an hour late, he thought. His feet stopped in place as he heard sniffling and stifled sobs nearby. He snuck closer, peering around the stone wall of a house, and he saw her.

His heart lurched, feeling a strange pull towards her; he wanted to see her face, maybe comfort her. His nose scrunched up and he averted his gaze. He shouldn’t be doing this, he needed to stick to the plan lest he end up with Godey for a fortnight. He looked back to her to see her looking straight at him, eyes the same color of red as his with her fangs peeking through in her shocked expression.

Warmth flooded his body as he stared at her. He had heard about true vampire mates from Dalyria whenever she gabbed on and on as he tried to fall into a trance. Could she be his? No, she can’t be. You’re just a spawn. This couldn’t possibly happen to you, you imbecile. He shook his head free from all thought and walked over to the bench she sat on. “Is this seat taken?”

If you had the blood to blush, you’re sure your face would be beet red. You’d never seen another spawn while out in the city, nevertheless the castle. Cazador only ever allowed you to interact with Leon, the longest favored spawn waiting hand and foot on his ‘cherished’ haruspex. You looked up into his eyes, the same wine red color, and you felt warmth flood through your cold skin and a tug at your unbeating heart. You nodded and patted the space next to you.

He sat with very little distance next to you, and glanced down at the wolf below you. He looked over your features more and noticed the fresh scratches and dirt covering your form. “Forgive me for asking… but were you fighting a wolf?” You let out a defeated chuckle.

“I’m the haruspex for our lordship. The vision Shar granted me tonight wasn’t to his liking so he sent me searching for a better, more sentient animal,” you looked down to the cobblestones below you, sighing weakly, “I’m not sure the vision will change. I can’t control what she tells me, which probably means no food for a month until his next request.”

Astarion placed a hand on your shoulder, scowling at the same ground. A shock raced through both of your bodies at the contact, jumping lightly. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry,” as he spoke, a thought entered his mind. “How come I’ve never seen you before? Surely I would have recognized your face you’re…” he trailed off. Your head tilted in question, waiting for him to continue. “Beautiful.”

You smiled at his quiet admission, looking over to his stark white curls, his pointed ears, his gaunt but perfectly sharp cheekbones. “He keeps me next to his personal quarters. I’ve never been allowed to see another spawn except for Leon, who oversees my practices and brings me the occasional rat— or cat if I’m lucky. We’ve become quite close. Well, as close as we can be with Godey’s supervision.” You heard a light growl at that. “I don’t love him of course, I’ve kind of lost any hope for that kind of relationship since I was turned,” you quickly assured, not wanting Astarion to get the wrong idea. You’d only just met him, you didn’t even know his name, but you felt deep down that you wanted to please him. “I also think you’re quite beautiful,” you whispered, looking to the sky in shy embarrassment.

Astarion didn’t understand why his stomach filled with rage when you spoke of being close to Leon. He wanted you to be close with him. He wanted to learn everything about you; what you loved, what you hated, who you were before this new life. He slid his palm from your shoulder to your hand, stroking your thumb gently as you looked back to him. “What’s your name?” He asked, already knowing it would be the most beautiful word to flutter from his lips.

You gave your name to him, your eyelids becoming hooded as you slowly leaned closer to him. He smiled and fully intwined your fingers.

“Astarion.” His lips met yours, and the tugging at your heart strained even more, an inseparable bond being created. You reached your free hand to his curls, pushing one behind his ear. As your finger stroked across the shell of his ear he let out a breathy moan into your mouth. He wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

He knew that you were his; his true mate.

He nipped softly at your lips and pulled away reluctantly. You both stared at each other with eyes full of adoration and soft, tender love in the mix. You smiled and cupped his cheek, eyes never leaving his. “Tell me about yourself, Astarion.”

He looked off to the side. “Hmm… well. Before all of this, I was a magistrate. There’s not much I remember except for that,” he sighed softly and you stroked his cheek with your thumb, encouraging him to continue. “I was attacked in an alleyway, beaten within an inch of my life. Cazador found me, offered help and more, and I took it. Now I’m here, I’ve been here for quite a while. 200 years perhaps. Seducing, silencing, and bringing back unaware victims for Cazador to consume. It’s monstrous,” he snarled.

“I don’t think you’re a monster,” you mumbled, searching his eyes which softened before you. “I think you’re just trying to get by. Same as me, same as Leon, same as all of the others. I think people often forget that spawn are victims to him just as anybody else. Sure, the longer end of the stick, but we’re all grasping at the same one.” He leaned into your hand, nuzzling your palm with his cheek.

“My dear, you might be the only one who sees that. But nevertheless, thank you. Now, enough about me. Tell me about yourself,” he gently smiled, rubbing your lower back with the hand wrapped around your waist.

“Well I don’t remember much of my family, but I remember my mother. Not her face, or anything specific, but how she made me feel. She made me feel so loved, supported. I cried a lot after I was turned. Because all I felt was this loss for her,” you sniffled a bit mentioning her, and Astarion squeezed your waist in a comforting gesture. “He must have loved me in his own fucked up way, because the next day I was bathed, dressed, and taken to a mother superior of Shar to learn haruspicy. It’s been about 350 years since that day, but I remember it like it was just this morning.”

He quirked his brow and the corners of his mouth turned downward. His concern flooded through your chest. “What do you mean by ‘loved’?” You filled with shame and broke eye contact with him. You maneuvered his arms from around you and stood, worry flashing across Astarion’s face. You motioned him over to undo the laces of your simple blood red gown. “If you also have one of his poems I wouldn’t be sur-“ his breath hitched as he took in the state of your back.

Near every inch of skin was marked by Cazador, each bite mark, bruise, and scratch in various stages of healing. “I don’t know if I would call it true love, he’s completely insane about me speaking to anyone. That’s why I can only talk to Leon, someone he knows wouldn’t turn their back on him. He’s tried to… be with me a couple of times. Each time I turn him down it’s a week in the dungeon.”

The emotional pain radiated off of you into Astarion’s heart. He could feel the pain of his mate, how she had been used. He brought her to his chest and wrapped a protective arm around her back, the pain being replaced with pure hate. “I want to get you away from him. I don’t want him to touch you ever again,” he growled. He buried his face in your hair and kissed your head. “You’re mine. And I’m yours. As long as you’ll have me.” He nuzzled the spot that he kissed.

You looked up into his love filled eyes timidly. “Astarion, I want that too, but I truly don’t know you very well. I don’t know why I feel so strongly for you, like I was made for you, but strangely I’m falling for you. I want to see where this goes first. And I don’t think Cazador will ever give up on finding me if I’m gone.”

He kissed your neck again and rubbed your sides. “You should ask Leon about true mates, without Godey if you can,” he mumbled as he looked to the sky. The blackness of the night had faded to a dark blue. He needed you to get back to the palace safely; the sun would rise soon. “Darling, we must go.”

Your head popped up, gasping at the lightness of the night sky. You let him take you back to the palace, frantically running away from the early morning Baldurian sun, the dead wolf cradled in your other arm. You were now a block away from the palace. Astarion took your wrist and nipped it. Your heart lurched in its place from the bond and you felt it might snap in two from how tight it had gotten. “Astarion… when will I see you again?” You looked frantically to the castle and then back to him, your worries being calmed ever so slightly by seeing him before you.

“Whenever the time is right, make sure Shar obscures one of your visions. I hunt for him every night. I will wait at the Elfsong tavern every night to see you again my love.” He kissed you fervently, lips moving affectionately with yours. He squeezed your hand and let it go. “Now go on darling, I would never forgive myself if you got punished for being out too late.” You walked backwards toward the palace, only breaking eye contact with your mate when you looked up to the window, clutching the wolf’s body tighter to your chest as you saw Cazador looking down to you in the courtyard from a tall window in his quarters. Astarion was just out of eye view from him and mouthed, “I’ll be right behind you, my sweet.” He was less scared of the punishment he would be receiving later, as he finally had something — someone — that was his.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion #18+ content #bg3 #bg3 astarion #slow burn #angst #astarion ancunin #soulmates #astarion x tav #astarion romance #fanfic #bg3 smut

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hades-in-bloom · 5 months

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The Bigger Person

Spawn!Astarion Ancunin x Redeemed Dark Urge!Reader

summary: after saving Baldur’s Gate, Astarion and his partner descend into the Underdark to take care of Cazador’s misdeeds. All seven thousands of them. Was it something the elf truly wanted to do with his freedom?

spoilers for Act 3/Pale Elf and Epilogue

warnings & contents: teethy fluff; established relationship; comfort, sass, and class; hints of existential crisis; the reader could be any gender; mentions of trauma; some hugs; assumed drow or half-drow background of the reader but could be any race

a/n: I am kinda terrified of writing for Astarion as I respect Larian’s work SO MUCH (so Larian, please forgive me, if I ever do this goofy dagger-happy love wrong). This blurb came out of nowhere as I was bored during my long ass flight. As always, proceed at your own risk. Minors DNI! Masterlist xoxo

soundtrack: miley cyrus — used to be young

***

You watched Astarion from afar as elf was basking in the azure light of a Sussur tree. His pale skin glowing, eyes half-lidded—one of, if not the most beautiful sight you’ve seen in your entire life. Radiance of a Sussur flower might have been the closest thing to the sunlight the vampire spawn had now, after the ever-protecting tadpole was gone.

It was barely a couple of weeks since the Netherbrain crushed into the Chionthar. The exhausting journey was finally over. Your thoughts for a moment went to Gale—how was he fairing now, taking into account his condition? And what any of you was supposed to do with your lives now, after saving the world?

You shook off your guessings by and by—only to notice that it was Astarion’s turn to stare at you. His smooth lips curved into a mischievous grin.

“My once murderous little love, what were you daydreaming of?” The man wondered as he stepped towards you, stretching out a hand for you to touch, inviting you to feel the soothing coldness of his forever-young skin. The elf tilted his head a bit, curiously; studying you.

“You seemed… far from here.” Although his tone was lighthearted, you could see concern in the wandering gaze of garnet eyes. After all these weeks traveling—and now living— together, you could read him quite well.

“It’s nothing,” you mumbled before coming to your senses; a gentle, slightly teasing smile appearing on your face. “I was stalking you, actually. You fit quite well with the Underdark, you know.”

Astarion didn’t seem to object your observations.

Obviously.

“Well,” he gestured abstractly, pretending not to care, although he cared quite a bit. “You don’t say, my sweet. Although I'd assume that my features should look aesthetically pleasing in most of the attention worthy places.”

You couldn’t keep a straight face as you laughed, enjoying his lazy attempts to hide a proud smile.

“Behave, Astarion. There are kids in the close vicinity, after all.”

The man changed in the face and let out a soft groan. “Seven thousand of them,” he muttered with slight annoyance in his voice.

Despite grimaces Astarion made regularly, you could see him enjoying it—taking care of the murderous horde of vampire spawns to whom the elf showed mercy in the palace. He was their mentor, their leader now—a counterpart to what Cazador was, the monster that created them all. Now so much better than him.

“I blame you,” Astarion continued in the meantime, playfully pointing a finger in your direction. “That’s all your nasty influence. Be the bigger person, dear!..” he passionately—and painfully accurately—mimicked your tone of voice while saying the last piece. You, though, weren’t offended in the slightest. You liked him even more when he dared to show the silly side of his complex, wounded personality.

You felt his hand crawling around your waist as he huffed next to your ear shortly after. “Why should I be a bigger person, darling, when I can be happy and petty?”

You snorted. “I don’t think you’re holding back on pettiness, love.”

His smile stretched across the skin of your neck in a silent, although eloquent enough reply. None of you said a thing for quite a while, staying motionless close to each other with heads buried deep into your own thoughts.

“Thank you.” You blurted out eventually.

Astarion shifted, looking into your face with his eyebrow raised. He was visibly confused.

“Thank you for choosing this. Choosing them.” you continued as you met his gaze with yours. “Instead of your… freedom.” You struggled to find a better word for that.

Astarion didn’t seem to be convinced; didn’t seem to follow at first. “I’m free,” he replied gravely. “The bastard is dead.”

You shook your head slightly. “You could’ve been anywhere. Doing anything,” you retorted with care. “But you’re here instead.”

His facial features softened as he understood why you were saying what you were saying. There was a pinch of truth in your words—he spent some time thinking about it, too, after you’ve both descended into the Underdark and began building this fort; the safe harbor for Cazador’s cursed—as although perpetually hungry vampire spawns now, these people deserved to have a place to call home, no matter how dangerous or uncivilised per human standards it was.

You heard Astarion letting out a reluctant sigh as he came to terms with his own decision once more.

“This was the right thing to do.” The elf concluded at once.

Mild aversion to his own heroism that manifested itself in his whole appearance in that particular moment made you giggle suddenly.

“My, my. Who thought you'd be up for doing The Right Thing the first time we met.”

The elf gave you a friendly, tad fiendish stare as he rolled his eyes, and you scoffed as he spoke. “Not that you were a paragon of virtuousness back then either, being your daddy’s scion.” You made an unamused face that made him smile.

Astarion reassured you then with playful seriousness, letting his lips and teeth slide affectionately to your neck. “Don’t keep your hopes up, darling. Now my quota of the rightful deeds is fulfilled for the upcoming century.”

You smirked as you locked him into a hug, not believing a single word of what that man just said as you felt him hugging you back.

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fatphobiabusters · 2 months

Text

You know what? I thought I'd seen everything, but I'm literally fucking speechless right now. My university's counseling center is so fucking untrained on fatphobia that they have a pamphlet on "Body Size Diversity and Acceptance," which I had been shocked was offered at all. But I apparently shouldn't have gotten my expectations higher than the depths of the Mariana Trench because, after a very horrible experience with fatphobia in counseling there today, I opened the pamphlet to read that thin people are "oppressed" for being thin. And I am somehow not exaggerating in any fucking way when I say that's exactly what the pamphlet claimed.

They:

Didn't acknowledge fatphobia at all (the pamphlet barely even shows any fat people and makes this entire shitty pamphlet JUST about body image. You know, as if that's all fat people have to fucking worry about. The rest of this list is just about the two circled paragraphs because I do not have the energy to dissect this entire bullshit pamphlet)

Erased fatphobia to talk about "size oppression" which is a concept they made up to pretend that ALL people are oppressed for their size. BULLSHIT.

Act like this pretend "size oppression" they used to erase fatphobia is oppression because "Everyone judges themselves about their size and that's all that's needed to be oppressed for the size you are 😔"

"Size oppression does not spare those who are naturally thin, either." HUH. HUH. ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? YOU WANT TO TAKE A SECOND GO AT THAT, BUD?

The pamphlet says thin people are OPPRESSED BY "VOLUPTUOUS AND MUSCULAR IDEALS." BUDDY, YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY THE WORD FAT. THE WORD "FAT" IS NOT WRITTEN EVEN ONCE IN THIS PAMPHLET, BUT YOU SURE HAD NO PROBLEM WRITING "THIN" EVERYWHERE! AND "VOLUPTUOUS" IS JUST YOUR FUCKING CODEWORD FOR "THIN WITH A BIG ASS." FUCK OFF!

"[Thin people] can be just as dissatisfied with their bodies and themselves as anyone else." HUH. REALLY? YOU'RE GOING TO CLAIM THAT?????

They're the target of people's jealousy and envy, which you use to claim thin people are oppressed, AND THEN NEVER STOP TO FUCKING THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN ABOUT WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO LOOK LIKE THEM?!?!?!?! I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THERE'S AN INDICATION OF A POWER IMBALANCE SOMEWHERE IN THERE????? SOME REASONS FOR WHY THIN PEOPLE ARE SO PRAISED??? AND THEM BEING PRAISED...IS YOUR DEFINITION OF OPPRESSION?!?!?!

"For no reason other than their body sizes!"

NO REASON?!?!?!?!?!

THERE'S NO REASON WHY FAT PEOPLE LITERALLY KILL THEMSELVES TO BE THIN OTHER THAN FUCKING AESTHETICS?!?!

NOT THE MUTILATION, POLICE BRUTALITY, STARVATION, LACK OF ACCESS TO VITAL RESOURCES LIKE CLOTHES AND HEALTHCARE, FATAL MEDICAL NEGLECT AND ABUSE, BEING LEFT TO DIE IN NATURAL DISASTERS LIKE HURRICANES, COURT JUDGES SAYING IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO RAPE FAT PEOPLE, THE WAGE GAPS, JOB DISCRIMINATION, WORKPLACE HARASSMENT, FORCED SEPARATION OF FAMILIES, NOT BEING ALLOWED TO ADOPT CHILDREN, AND THE LIST GOES FUCKING ON?!?! THIN PEOPLE ONLY EXPERIENCE THINNESS AND NO AMOUNT OF PRIVILEGE OVER FAT PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

I want to kill, maim, strangle, and rip flesh with my teeth right now :)))))

-Mod Worthy

#thin privilege #fatphobia #Mod Worthy

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passionpeachy · 2 months

Note

Does it still count as a sapphic poetic love letter if I use all pronouns? Who cares, I have great tits so I think it's valid.

Even through we never met, I feel like I could just find you in a crowd.

It would be so easy, wouldn't it?

But why is that?

Why does your radiance shine through enough for me to recognize it in a sea of other lights?

Maybe it's the way you joke, eyes probably crinkling in delight when someone laughs.

Maybe it's the way you talk so happily about your interests. Oh, I wish I could hear your rants all day, even if I don't particularly care for things you talk about. I think it's enough that you're talking and I can look at the way your eyes shine.

I want to touch your hair and run my fingers through it. See how it feels, see how it shines in the daylight. And maybe under the moonlight, if you allow me to take you out some time. Could I kiss your hands under the moonlight? Those hands of a lovely, blushing girl. Those hard working, calloused fingers still feel so delicate when they trace my cheek. But, of course, only in my mind - I could never allow myself the sin of being under your hands. Oh, but is it? Is it truly wrong of me to look at your skin and see divine beauty in every curve, to wish to kiss your heart so you may never experience it's cold ache? Somehow no one has convinced me fully yet.

I don't feel I deserve your smile - I'm a bitter person, you know? So why does it make me so happy to hear from you? To wonder how your touch feels? I wonder what you truly think of me. And what you'll think of the true me, ugly, bitter side of the one you still seem to cherish.

Love truly is cruel - how could you, a delicate pearl, look at me like I am more that a piece of lonely rock lying deep in the sea where no one will look at me but the oh so lonely fish that live down there?

Just maybe, If I ignore the wispers of the cold-blooded ones and get closer to the skies, to you - I will shine like you? Oh, how I hope so. To reflect light in the ways you do, to be, to feel worthy of being near you, even if my form in darker than yours. Even if I am not as perfect.

And maybe, the closer I get to you, I'd see your true form half hidden inside the shell, under those see-through covers. A little more there, little less here, some scratches - gods, you're beautiful. You're more beautiful then you realize, probably. Why are you so perfect in your imperfectness? Your form, your character - just you. Oh, how I would wish to have your heart just as you have mine.

You're too sweet, you know that? I love you so much, I think I'm starting to love myself through an extension of you. I see myself in your eyes, and maybe I am not the little nimble pebble I once through I was. And maybe you're not the perfectly round in all aspects, cold white pearl I saw you as. Maybe we've both been lost pearls living without protection scratched by the cruel storms in the sea. And maybe we're both better than we think, and only now are learning to see it in each other's expressions under the warm light of love?

I hope so.

The way this begins versus how it ends is driving me crazy. anyway this is us anon

#asks #💌#HNFNGFHDHFH????????#one of the more intense and longer love letters I’ve gotten #I wonder if anon is just trying to fulfill my wishes of getting sapphic love letters or if there’s some sincerity to this #anyway that was a lovely read thank you <3333 #edit: reread this one and I’m still sooo…….aaaahhhh

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 2 months

Note

I barely played Nikke in my iPad, so the fact that you can write them is pretty surprising for me. So, for my request, can I have the Nikkes reaction of their s/o being injured when helping them during dangerous missions?

(GoV: NIKKE) Rapi, Anis, and Neon reacting to their S/O getting injured

If my inclusion of iDOLM@STER on this blog is any indication, I will write anyone I deem worthy, no matter how big of a pain in the ass it is. I guess in Nikke's case, it's just ass.

(Rapi) "S/O, are you okay?!"

Rapi remains calm as best as she can, immediately rushing to their side and administering first aid.

Even in the heat of combat, Rapi remains steadfast, analyzing to see where the worst of their injuries are before patching them up.

The moment the mission is complete and extraction arrives, Rapi is by their side the entire time, watching over them.

Once the debriefing is over, she rushes over to the infirmary where S/O is to either keep them company or wait for them to wake up.

(S/O) "Rapi, if I'm keeping you-"

(Rapi) "Rest assured, you are not. I will remain here...I-If you want me to, that is."

Even though she doesn't breathe, S/O can see her shoulders slump in relief when they tell her they want her close.

Eventually, Rapi does have to depart for her other duties, but always tries to drop by until S/O fully recovers.

She can't help but blame herself, if she were a better soldier, S/O wouldn't have been hurt this bad.

Rapi didn't even voice her thoughts, but S/O gently squeezed her hand in reassurance, catching her attention.

(S/O) "I'd do it again, Rapi. Don't beat yourself over it."

(Rapi) "I am a Nikke, and you are human. I can be repaired, you cannot."

(S/O) "Call it irresponsible, stupid, or whatever. I'm not letting anything hurt you, Rapi."

She remained quiet for a moment before closing her eyes and gently smiling.

(Rapi) "I...should be saying that to you, but...Thank you, S/O."

Her heart would be skipping several beats right now if she had one.

But it doesn't stop a blush from creeping onto her cheeks.

Anis is the first one rushing over to S/O's side as she picks off the enemies that had injured S/O.

(Anis) "H-Hey! What's wrong with you, why did you take that shot for me?!"

(S/O) "Agh...! Heh, t-thought I could get you out the way and dodge it in time!"

(Anis) "That was stupid, you almost got yourself killed!"

Anis's overbearing side rarely showed itself, but now it was kicking into overdrive, fully bandaging S/O and letting an arm go around her shoulder as she helped them up.

(Anis) "Next time, just let me take the hit! My metal bits can be replaced, you can't-"

S/O smiled at her, lightly chuckling.

(S/O) "I'd rather not hear you whine the entire trip back, if it's all the same to you."

Anis laughed in response, some of her tension finally cooling off.

(Anis) "So you'd rather get shot than hear your lovely girlfriend talk? You sure know how to make a girl swoon."

(S/O) "I learned from the best."

(Anis) "...HEY! What's that supposed to mean!? I oughtta drop you right now!"

Their banter made the trip back to the Outpost more bearable, S/O getting her mind off their injuries as best they could.

But Anis becomes hyper aware of where S/O is during a mission, ensuring they wouldn't waste their life, even for her.

Neon points her gun in the general direction of the enemy that had shot S/O, and completely erases that direction by filling it with bullets.

(Neon) "LEAVE MY S/O ALOOOOOOOOOOONE!"

After the dust settled, Neon rushes over to S/O who was being patched by the other members of Counters, setting her rifle down and checking their injuries.

(Neon) "S/O, you're not dying are you?!"

(S/O) "No, but I think I'm slightly deaf from all the ammo you burned next to me."

(Neon) "That was for revenge, S/O! No one hurts you and gets to live!"

Neon, despite her small stature, helps carry the injured S/O back to extraction.

(S/O) "I feel like luggage rather than a squadmate-"

(Neon) "Listen, I can only hold my ammo AND you in a certain way, and there's no way around it!"

Neon does feel bad that they were injured on her watch, but if anything that strengthens her resolve to protect them better next time.

After all, no one could hurt S/O if they were decimated by her superior firepower first!

In the infirmary, Neon is already constructing a better way to keep them and the rest of the squad safe with even bigger guns!

(Neon) "Ooh, I think no one could hurt you again if I give you a rocket launcher!"

(S/O) "I think that'll encourage people to hurt me faster if I had that much firepower!"

(Neon) "Hm...You're right. How about a minigun?"

(S/O) "T-That's not much better!"

#goddess of victory: nikke headcanons #goddess of victory: nikke imagines #goddess of victory: nikke x reader #rapi nikke x reader #anis nikke x reader #neon nikke x reader #rapi nikke #anis nikke #neon nikke

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mcflymemes · 1 year

Text

ASK PROMPTS ABOUT THE PAST & REGRET * requested by tatsunotsurugi

yesterday is gone.

you have to let go.

i never look back. it distracts from the now.

i just don't see why the past has to matter.

it's pointless to dwell on it, you know.

i don't know who you used to be.

memories are dangerous things.

the past is never where you think you left it.

i wish i could go back.

we all do things we desperately wish we could undo.

my past does not define me.

we can never go back again.

we were so intimate once upon a time i can't believe it now.

if we had met years ago, would you still have liked me?

scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.

the past beats inside me like a second heart.

looking back you do not find what you left behind.

no one saves us but ourselves.

no trouble ever got fixed late at night. midnight is for regrets.

i wish i knew you back then.

what's past is prologue.

i want everything back the way it was.

put your energy into today.

my scars remind me that i did, indeed, survive my deepest wounds.

that was... the dumbest thing i've ever done.

no one is rich enough to buy back his past.

are you still thinking about what happened?

there has to be something we can do to change it.

it's being here now that's important.

there's so much i wish i could change about what happened.

i'm a product of my past, but i don't have to be a prisoner of it.

my past is everything i failed to be.

i regret knowing you.

what's done is done.

it might have been.

you are the only person i'd like to say goodbye to when i die.

it made you stronger. i hope you know that.

i am worthy of a future.

me and you, we got more yesterday than anybody.

memory is a mirror that scandalously lies.

take it from me. if you hear the past speaking to you, feel it tugging up your back and running its fingers up your spine... the best thing to do, the only thing... is run.

if only. those must be the two saddest words in the world.

the past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it.

my yesterdays walk with me.

i loved you so much once.

i like who you are now.

i wish you'd just let go.

there's no future for me.

what do you regret most?

do you ever miss it?

there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you, but i just can't.

the past no longer holds you captive.

maybe in another life.

i hope you never have to think about anything as much as i think about you.

i never should have done that.

i'm trying to forget you. it's not easy.

you're just another story i can't tell anymore.

how many regrets do you have?

those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

you can learn from it... but you can't change it.

#rp starters #rp memes #rp prompt #rp meme #rp musings #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme #writing prompt #rp asks #ask meme #rp inbox meme #sentence starter #sentence starters #sentence starter prompt #mcflymemes #thanks for the request!!! :)

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pathetic-sapphic · 9 months

Text

Arcane milfs with an insecure S/O

CW: NSFW-ish for Ambessa, female reader

As confident as Sevika seems, she knows what an ugly feeling it is to be insecure. She loves hyping you up whenever you decide to dress up, making you twirl and show off your gorgeous body to her. Sevika will often praise you too, especially your personality and smarts so that you shall never doubt how competent and good you are. It irks her to see someone so wonderful feel bad about themselves so she'll shoo away all your doubts to the best of her ability.

Come on, pretty girl, do a little twirl for me, yeah? I want to see how that cute dress looks on you from all angles. Well, you can't blame me when you're such a vision, just imagine how lovely you'll look perched up on my lap. Oh, you are absolutely adorable when you blush, c'mere darling. You have no idea how lucky I am to have you.

It's hard to feel insecure next to such an attentive and kind partner. Grayson is a true gentlewoman, always putting your happiness and safety as her first priority. She will quickly pick up on your sour mood and insist that you confide in her. She will gently hold you as you cry and diminish all your doubts in a matter of seconds. She loves you more than anything and feels her heart squeeze painfully as she realizes just how bad of an image you have of yourself. From then on she will make sure to remind you how much she adores you and how none of this would make sense without you by her side.

It's alright my beloved, I'm here for you. I'm sorry you've been hurting for so long, I wish you'd told me earlier so I could have been here for you. No no, don't apologize, my dear, it's not your fault. What matters is that I know now and I'll help you and support you until you realize just how wonderful you are. Look at me, please? Ah, there's that pretty face that I adore. You're gonna be okay, love.

Listen, Ambessa isn't the best at comforting you about such an issue. Mostly because she hasn't felt like that much in her life as she wears all her scars with pride and loves her muscular physique. She isn't good with words and, although she notices your somber looks into the mirror, she will wait until you're comfortable enough to talk to her about what's bothering you rather than reaching out first. Once she understands the issue, she will dedicate her time and energy to making her girl feel loved and appreciated by worshipping your body as much as you let her. After she is done with you, you won't be able to walk, much less dwell on your insecurities.

Tell me, pet, do you think I'd have you right here next to me if I didn't think of you as worthy enough? Do you think I'd share a bed, give my love and touch to someone undeserving of it? Perish those foolish thoughts, my darling pet, you know I wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't as lovely as I think you are. Now come here, if my words won't do the job then I'll let my actions speak for me. You just lay down and let me worship you, sweetheart.

Believe it or not, Cassandra has her doubts too but is too afraid to admit to them. She often worries that you may feel trapped in your relationship with her or if you might feel as if she is too old for you. However, when it comes to your troubles, she is hands-on with making her sweet girl feel better. She'll shower you with gifts, take you out on lavish dates, and utter such kind and sweet words that you'll never have to doubt whether or not you deserve to be by her side.

Did you enjoy the cakes I bought for you, darling? Well, I'm glad they were to your liking, how about we go on a date later this evening after I'm done with work? Magnificent, there is a new dress waiting for you on your bed and I would appreciate it if you would wear it for tonight. I just know you'll look absolutely stunning on my arm. Look at that beautiful smile, I could stare at it all day. You know I'd do anything as long as that means you're happy, don't you? Good, I'll see you tonight, my love.

#arcane #arcane headcanons #arcane x reader #arcane sevika #sevika x reader #arcane ambessa #ambessa x reader #arcane grayson #grayson x reader #arcane cassandra #cassandra kiramman x reader #requests are open #arcane x female reader

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peachesofteal · 9 months

Note

I have a question about darling and Simon and Johnny: would darling ever worry that they would get annoyed with her insecurities and that they would leave her because of them? Could it actually get to that point in the dead disco canon or in an au? Or is it a reason she might try and distance herself from them, telling herself they'll get tired of having to reasure her or how she isn't worthy of them and they deserve better?

I'm sorry, darling is just so relatable and that's something I know I'd worry about if I were her

This is canon. It’s not talked about much because I’ve been focusing on the insecurities revolving around Simon and Johnny over insecurity about self… because in the history of their relationship, the three of them have done a lot of work in regards to Darling’s (you) sense of security in the relationship. I think a lot of this unease, this insecurity about the guys also comes from your own self awareness and worry. They have each other, they don’t need you. They have each other, why would they want this burden?

By now we know that you/reader suffer from depressive episodes, eating issues, self doubt, self deprecation, etc, etc. Think about how that was handled in the beginning of their relationship, imagine the reaction when you laid it all out on the table said “this is who I am”, or the first time they witnessed you sink into debilitating depression. Clearly, the guys know how to care for you. It’s not their first rodeo, but since we know how you think (me, you, anyone who relates to Darling like we do) we know you thought yourself a burden for a long time. How you thought, after the first time they found you still in bed in the middle of the afternoon, that they would surely leave you, that they wouldn’t have the bandwidth to deal. There’s a chapter with flashbacks where Darling goes to dinner at their flat, at the very beginning of their relationship, and all you can think about is that they’re going to dump you, and that train of thought is not just because you feel like an outsider:

“They want you. They don’t want to get rid of you… they actually want you. Something dark and sharp twists in your mind, something full of doubt and loathing, something that tells you to run away. They won’t want you anymore once they get to know you. Truly get to know you. They won’t keep you. Don’t get confused.”

Something I’ve tried to highlight is how you are, the way you feel too much, too intensely, the way you need just a little bit more care, really calls to the guys. Johnny falls in step behind Simon on this, because of the dynamic (and this plays very seriously into how and when Simon takes control), but it rings true for both of them.

“Simon is a killer, but you and Johnny have turned him into something more. You’ve taught Simon he has the capacity to care for something sweet, something delicate. Given him and Johnny a chance to have something good besides each other, to love in a way they’ve only dreamt about.”

“He wants to tell you he’ll take care of you, that he and Johnny will keep you, keep you with them, keep you safe, keep you happy. He wants to tell you all the things you’re not ready to hear yet. Wants to tell you you’re precious, so precious to them already. That you buried yourself beneath their skin, worked your way into their hearts.”

The way Johnny just instinctively knows how to reach you:

Darling.” Johnny’s fingers pull your chin upwards, until he’s forcing you to look at him, a warm palm moving to cradle your face when he’s satisfied he’s got your full attention. “I need you here, with me. Stay with me.”

And what you need (true man of action in this fic, every chapter without fail):

“Then we’ll get a new one.” He blurts, without even fully thinking it through. He only knows he’s desperate to reassure you, desperate to show you that they’d do anything for you.

“He taps his fingers down your cheek to draw your attention back up to his face, and that’s when he notices. How dry your skin is. How cracked your lips are. The circles under your eyes, the hunch in your shoulders. He looks up at Simon over your head, who gives him a swift a nod, and pulls you away and into his own arms.”

I’ve said before, but Dead Disco is my own personal comfort fic for many reasons. You don’t even need to squint or read between the lines to see why. Some people yearn to be cared for, to be loved and valued for their flaws as well as their positive attributes. Some people want someone to say “I see you the way you are, and I love you for it. I accept you the way you are. I cherish all parts of you.” Darling/reader wants that. You need that. The guys give that, even though sometimes it’s not always perfect.

Things like this are in Dead Disco’s outline as well, I’ve always planned on diving into the beginning more and showing some of these pieces. So hopefully we’ll see some more of it! ✨

This was a whole ramble and I am so sorry but I am really, painfully passionate about the canon workings of their relationship, Darling’s feelings and experience, and their journey.

#peaches asks #dead disco #don’t mind me just talking about my characters like they’re real #wow this got to me #thanks anon!#ghost x soap x reader

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inkandcigars · 7 months

Text

It's been a while since i've posted my life updates here so... here I am.

This is one thing I'd really like to keep so I am sharing this here, given that my life has been shared since college 🤣

I cannot say that life has not been easy for me cause challenges are still there but things right now were more bearable? Also, I am looking forward for this new chapter in our lives as a married couple 💜 for years of going back and forth into thinking if I am worthy to raise a child given my mental health and circumstances, God has finally heard our prayer. 💜

I am 6 months pregnant, you guys!!!

And although there are times that I am getting anxious if I am ready to raise someone of my own, I always feel lucky knowing that I will never have to go through this on my own. Also, taking into consideration how my husband takes care of me even before we got pregnant and especially now that we are. I know our child will grow into a very supporting and loving family. Something I always wished to have. And now, something I could have ever dreamed of. Even while waiting for our baby yet, I already feel that we are a family.

Can't wait to meet you our little one. Just feeling your little kicks every once in a while makes me glad and at ease knowing that I am doing a great job since you're very alive and makulit. I could not ever forget that one time when your daddy was trying to locate your heartbeat using the doppler and you kicked just so he would know where you are placed inside my tummy. Caused us to laugh hysterically. You're already playful just like your daddy.

I love you. Can't wait to meet you. Your daddy and I are so lucky and so so happy to have you.

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katebeckets · 1 day

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hi there!! sorry if this is weird but wanted to get your opinion on something!! believe it or not I've never watched the final season of castle and I know a lot of people say it's a bad season but I finished my season 7 rewatch and I'm wondering whether or not to give s8 a chance lol like is it so annoyingly bad I should just skip it forever or are there still moments that make it worthy of my time? thank you ☺️

hi!! not weird at all, I love that you asked me haha 😊 I also hope you don't mind me publishing this in case anyone has anything they want to add!

the short version of my answer is that yes, I personally think it's worth watching at least once! That said, I am well aware that there are things I might have forgotten about it since I've only seen it once. I'll put my reasoning/other considerations below the cut. Hope this helps!

————————————————————— 💭

Yes is my short answer, but I wanted to say why because there's a lot that goes into it for me (I take this way too seriously 😂)

First, I very generally believe that everything is worth watching at least once. That's just how I usually consume media. I also do my best to always watch things before I give any sort of opinion—for example, there are some things I have an idea about (including Castle season 8), but I felt it was important I personally watch it if I wanted to meaningfully converse about it.

Second, I think there are some moments I do love in season 8! I also know there was at least one episode that I did want to rewatch once seeing it. I'd say if you go into it open-minded (but with reasonable expectations, since it does have its issues), then you might be pleasantly surprised by parts of it 😊

That said, I'd ask what your reasons were for not watching it to begin with (as well as how you feel about season 7, because I feel like that can also be helpful for deciding if you want to watch 8). Because I will say that for me, season 8 was a hard watch since I have an idea of what was going on during that time w/ the cast (and I wasn't even watching the show live!). I also had some major problems with the storyline. Now, I kind of view season 8 as a bonus (meaning I only really acknowledge the parts I like as canon and ignore the existence of the rest 😂) because I think there are some moments I love but also have what I feel are fairly valid issues with other parts (valid meaning I can imagine other ways for the characters to behave that I think are just as plausible).

Anyway, hope that made sense. Feel free to ask/DM/reply if you have any questions/need clarification on any of this!

#isakvaltzrsen #answered #castle #i love talking about this kind of thing hehe thanks for asking me ^-^

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crownmemes · 3 months

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Chance Sentences

(Sentences from Chance (2016-2017). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Patients come to me and I assess them, and then I refer them forward to the appropriate next step."

"She strikes me as someone who knows how to get her way."

"You got so tough all of a sudden."

"Once is a mistake. Twice is a decision."

"Did I mention that I have been drinking?"

"I will not accept that this problem cannot be solved."

"Most fights are over before they start."

"If you're going to be afraid, be afraid of something that could actually happen."

"Know what your enemy is afraid of. That's power."

"The question is not 'Is it a game?'. The question is 'Who sets the rules?'."

"Your not knowing the reason doesn't mean there isn't one."

"Never would have figured you for a motorcycle guy."

"You're good, I know you are, but you're not strong enough."

"Whatever this is, it won't end how you think."

"For me to be loved for the first time ever... You can't imagine what it's like."

"What value is money, or even life, without love?"

"I would have killed my father if I could have."

"I think you should confess. I think you should come clean."

"There's more trauma in this life than war."

"What I want to know is how someone like you managed to stay alive this long."

"They said you have a concussion and broken bones, but you're going to be okay."

"We're going to fix what's wrong with us. The both of us. That's what matters."

"I've always thought of you as one of the good ones."

"If you weren't already hitting that, I'd tell you to."

"Every instinct I have says to grind you into a pulp."

"Instinct is behaviour based on prior experience."

"You're going to die pretty soon if you don't stop picking fights."

"Are you thinking of doing something that has an outcome you can't live with? Again?"

"Oh, I am well acquainted with the limits of what you can do."

"I don't play chess anymore. I used to, now I don't."

"You know, there's something different about you from the guy I met before. Something in your eyes."

"So somebody killed somebody. How is it my problem?"

"That jacket is a piece of clothing that's worthy of scrutiny. No one will look past it to what's underneath as long as the jacket makes a good impression."

"Loyalty. Something from a bygone era."

"I don't mean to pry, but is something troubling you?"

"You know, you have one of those faces. The kind that's vaguely familiar."

"How close am I to getting punched in the face right now?"

"If you ever break into my apartment again, I'll stab you in the eye."

"Keep talking. You're about five seconds away from the most humiliating moment of your life."

"I hate feeling like a victim! I don't like it!"

"I wouldn't do that. There's no crying in here."

"It has been pointed out to me that I have grown reckless."

"Fear stops when you kill the thing you're afraid of... Or it kills you."

"I am trying my best to be civil. You don't want to see what happens when I stop."

"You said I could be whole, but how can that happen now?"

"Those that are good must suffer the same as those that are bad."

"I'm not going to tell you to get over yourself, but you should."

"When something feels that good, does a person ever just do it once?"

"Is there any fucked up thing you don't know about?"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific;#crime drama;#filmtv;#chance;

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stalkersdiary · 8 months

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~I still love you~ (SFW)

I can't believe it's been this many years since I first saw you. I glanced at you on your way back home. Your clothes fit you in a way that showed off your most attractive attributes. I had no idea if you had gone on a date, an interview, or just a nice outing, but from that one look alone, I knew right then and there that I had to get to know you better.

Now, I see you every day. I used to watch you from your windows, cameras, and on every trip you take, I followed you. Which… Is why I'm writing you this letter. I'm writing because I'm concerned about you. I've noticed that you've been acting differently lately, and I'm worried about your well-being.

You seem so… self conscious. I know you've been going through a tough time lately, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. The world around us is cruel and hateful, but you know other people don't matter. Right? You know the only one who needs to love you is me. Right? Which I do. I love you. I adore you. I think you're the most attractive person in the world! There's no one in this world I want more than you. No one can make me have heart palpitations like you can. No one can make me blush at just one glance. No one else can make me have a physical reaction like this.

I would do anything to prove to you, that you were worthy of respect and love. I'd kill for you. I'd torture someone for you. I'd even kill myself for you. You're like my GOD. I'm scared that if you take their words to heart, I might lose you. I… refuse to let you shatter like that.

If you need to talk, I'm always available to listen. I know I might seem like I'm being crazy, but I love you so much. I don't want to lose you. Please forgive me for being so… Protective. I don't mean to get in your way or make you uncomfortable. Hell, I literally abducted you to protect you so… I guess that this seems like nothing in comparison but… I worry.

You are the most amazing person I know. You are kind, compassionate, and intelligent. I am so grateful to have you in my life. I love you more than words can say. So please... Tell me what's wrong. I want to help you. I want to make you happy... For once. I promise this is the last letter I'll slide under the door if that would make you feel better.

I love you.

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beanghostprincess · 5 months

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Omg you like SatoSugu and Soukoku too? I’ve GOTTA hear your thoughts on them

If I start talking about my relationship with these two ships I might actually end up sobbing while I write this- But basically, both Soukoku and Satosugu are really important to me because the whole dynamic of "best friends to enemies who still have feelings for each other" reminds me of something that happened to me with my former best friend. Which is, uh, not pleasant to talk about but we had a very nasty break up and I think it's a very common experience. Somebody said something once (in my post about Shuggy making more sense if they were girls) about these ships always resembling friendships between sapphics that don't know they're sapphics yet, which changed my whole view on these three ships completely because oh lord, that person was so damn right. Because it's the possessiveness of it all, you know? Like- Being close to your best friend, so much it hurts to see them with other people and so much it's frightening to think about a world without them. You have so many feelings about this person that you can't quite place and you can't put a name to, but it's more than a friendship and it's not romantic love either. And it makes more sense being a closeted sapphic because you don't accept it might probably be love until the friendship ends in a very nasty and toxic way and then you keep resenting that person forever.

I am kind of traumadumping here, lmfao, but basically I really like these three ships because they treat this dynamic in very different ways and I am a sucker for them. The angst is immaculate and I'll never get tired of them.

I like Soukoku for a lot of reasons, BSD being my favorite manga of all time and everything. Dazai meets Chuuya when he doesn't have any reason to live but keeps working for the mafia nevertheless because Chuuya is interesting enough to keep being alive. Because perhaps that's what Dazai has been looking for. And Chuuya, well- He has mixed feelings for Dazai but his loyalty is unmatched and that's both his best and worst trait (we see that constantly, poor boy). Dazai is still, after everything, his partner. They need each other, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They're basically canonically soulmates, at this point, and you don't even need to ship them to acknowledge it because it's just that obvious. Chuuya is the only one able to keep Dazai wanting to live and Dazai is quite literally the only one with the ability to stop Chuuya from losing control. They really are made for each other. It makes me go completely insane. The whole thing about Chuuya not being a human but being the most human and empathetic person of the mafia, and Dazai saying he isn't worthy of being called human but being physically one? That's just insane. And I could talk for hours about them and write a deeper analysis of their relationship, but I'd never finish this post, then.

Then, Satosugu. They make me equally insane. They were best friends. They were so damn close. And Gojo loved him so much that he couldn't stop Geto when he turned his back on him and walked away to become what he is now. It's just so heartbreaking, losing someone like that and all of a sudden. We see Geto losing himself over the years and falling into desperation and emptiness and Gojo not noticing until it's just too late to do anything. That's Gojo's weak spot. He's the most powerful sorcerer and dude can't fight his ex best friend because "there's no curse more twisted than love". That fucked me up completely, honestly. Gojo is such a complex character, growing up so quickly and with so many expectations, not being able to enjoy his teenage years either because they stole them from him like this. And Geto ending up all alone too, turning into just a vessel of vengeance. Like- Shit is too deep to explain it in just a tumblr post, but they make me go insane.

And Shuggy is basically the same thing but at least these two have the chance to make up and reunite at some point. Shuggy is the one that feels more realistic to me, honestly, because it genuinely feels only like a normal falling out between best friends (that definitely were something more) rather than this complicated poetic mix of metaphors and poems. These two were just kids when all of this happened, too, it makes me so ill. But I have a whole post talking about Shuggy too, so I don't think I need to explain why I like them.

TL;DR: These ships are definitely for the sapphics who had THAT best friend and had very strong feelings toward them but didn't know why, and years after a very nasty break up that still haunts them to this day they realized it was a bit more than just a friendship.

#could this work for non-sapphics too? yes. but i'm a lesbian and i'm making this about me #i love all these ships and they make me go so fucking insane #they make me want to cry every damn time #ughhhh #one piece #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #gojo satoru #geto suguru #satosugu #buggy the clown #red haired shanks #shuggy #bungou stray dogs #jujutsu kaisen

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