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vaxxman · 5 days

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Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?

Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.

I hope this is the right meme.

More silliness below.

This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.

The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.

You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.

Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.

I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.

Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.

Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.

Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.

The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.

One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.

They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.

You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier #Medic's reaction to a stick of butter is 100% based on my own reaction after reading an American recipe for the first time #Like I didn't know butter in America came in this normed stick-form I genuinely thought it was some arbitrary unit like ??? A Stick??#As in I didn't know if the recipe required the butter to be in this specific shape; like sometimes you have to add butter in shaves or molt #no biggie lemme whittle away at my butter block until it's shaped like a stick? And then I learnt it was the portions that butter comes in #Cut me some slack; I'm used to recipes using eggs as the scale-up ingredient; not butter #I also learnt that medical labels is where metric units are mostly encountered simply because medicine is international #But that is the main reason why I think Medic would not realise he'd have to deal with imperial units until he goes grocery shopping #The man's just been ignoring the “oz” information right below everything he's ever used; out of sight out of mind #I want to think Engi is the most normal person about the entire metric-imperial-units thing he just does some mental arithmetic and done #King just learned système international d'unités during one of his 11 phds; it's not unrealistic

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antidotefortheawkward-art · 1 year

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Thinking about that Zhihu AU where Tang Seng's disciples were Erlang Shen, Sun Wukong, and Bull Demon King instead.....

[ID: 1. An illustration of Erlang Shen, Sun Wukong, and Bull Demon King from the waist-up. Erlang Shen is wearing a weimao and a purple yuanlingpao archer-style with the left lapel flipped out. His two inner robe layers are checkered blue and purple-ish off-white. He has a snow leopard pelt at his waist. Sun Wukong is in his typical pilgrimage outfit, chewing on a piece of willow with his arms crossed. Bull Demon King has his arm around SWK's shoulder, leaning against him. He has a leopard pelt across his chest and a dark red scarf around his shoulders, with a red banbi and off-white inner robe. His other hand is on his mixed-iron rod, which is placed on his shoulder. 2. A translated screenshot from the aforementioned Zhihu thread. It reads "西天路走的太顺利畅，我反而无聊 This path to the Western Heaven is too smooth. I'm actually bored." End ID]

#journey to the west #jttw #xiyouji #sun wukong #monkey king #erlang shen #yang jian #bull demon king #alternate pilgrims AU #please read the snippets from that thread bc its honestly gold.... the tags too #THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A WARM-UP DOODLE GHFDJSKDSKD ough. i need to finish chara designs for game dev club 😭#also. im not saying this alt group wouldve avoided the Six-Eared debacle entirely but. they sure wouldve figured it out sooner.#either because 1) bull demon immediately realizing this isnt swk because hey theyre best friends who grew up together or #2) six-eared tries to beat up erlang shen and erlang shen immediately strikes back. they fight for long enough for real swk to come back #this group of pilgrims doesnt have the golden bands as their uniting chara design motif <3 they have pelts instead <3 #tang seng cant even be like 'WHAT THE FUCK' at swk skinning the tiger bc nmw and els turn around and do the exact same thing

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coconut530 · 5 months

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PAPERTEETH WT OG BY @wulvert OUT TODAY!! GO GIVE IT SOME LOVE!

#Paperteeth #Paperteeth Webtoon #Webtoon #6 #this is the first actual WT OG I have that’s labeled as a comedy #Which I usually tend to avoid bc I get embarrassed by comedies but it’s fine because I just love this one #It just makes me laugh every time #Wulvert is a master of their craft #Like I just -think- about it and I start laughing #Anyway yeah so excited to add this to the Monday lineup! CANVAS SQUAD UNITE #I found wulvert through TRIPTRACK which is equally hilarious but then I saw this was gonna be an OG so I binged it #It’s so hilarious and adorable #Avery Scarlet Agnes the cat The Barbeque (TM) The Garlic Bread I can’t #I can’t wait for Garlic Bread arc (no it f**king isn’t still CRACKS ME UP DUDE)#— is something I never thought I’d say #Like the other day I said “should I take my bagel into the darkness” and I haven’t been the same this is the same vibe #ANYWAY very excited to add another goth lesbian couple to my pile of… 2 other… couples…#Annabel & Lenore Valentine & Emilia Avery & Scarlet there they are hahahhaha #Go read paperteeth and give urself a laugh ❤️🖤

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er1c-c4rtman · 10 months

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I'm kinda an hour or so late buuuut

🎊🎉🧽✨️HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPONGY-BOI✨️🧽🎉🎊

#nicktoons unite #spongebob squarepants #danny phantom #jimmy neutron #fairly oddparents #timmy turner #sp•art #*casually ignores all of the chaos in the background*#AAAAAAA HES 37‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖#ignore the background lol #Bucktooth duo just sweet #ik this is unrelated but I gave myself a new signature #Unfortunately Nickelodeon showed us a 2 hour tlh episode (I wish the worst for the characters)#<3 #Love this mf-king sponge #Jimmy managed to set everything on fire #Have a good night or day everyone :D

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mihai-florescu · 3 months

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If I may be so bold as to ask, what are your favourite Eichi stories?

Fav eichi stories... every story eichi is in is blessed and made wonderful by his presence alone... that aside, jingle bells and milky way and of course element & checkmate my favorite reminis... black tea too is a favorite. OH. EP:LINK how could i forget my darling...my darlink if u will... but theres also circus and quarrel fes i loved...daydream..............

#pensive emoji i really do love most eichi stories #a bit sad his center in !! was to me more a yuzuru story but i didnt care abt eichis grandma at all i think i just had higher hopes #but i can make any story where eichi was there for a few scenes Be About Eichi so #supernova. shinsengumi. wonder game. king's horseback ride. requiem even #all awesome stories by themselves but eichi's presence although small enhanced them #thats not even true eichi's presence there wasnt small it was essential #stories without him in it are about him too. can you tell im half asleep i dont feel like im being coherent #ALTERED. I FORGOT HER #diner live was cute too it has my 2 favorite temporary units once again there eichi is the 5star but i end up thinking about #other things in that story besides him mostly #im rereading this it is all over the place sorryy #ask #anon

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lonestarbattleship · 2 years

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The sun sets behind Mount Fujiyama on August 27, 1945, as seen from USS Missouri (BB-63) anchored in Sagami Wan, outside of Tokyo Bay. Ships of the U.S. Third Fleet and the British Pacific Fleet are in the distance. Closest to the camera, in center, is HMS Duke of York, with HMS King George V next beyond her.

NHHC: 80-G-490414

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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I WAS ABOUT TO SAY IM BEING HATE CRIMED CAUSE THE FIRST ONE I REVEALED WAS KANDA BUT THEN I SAW I GOT MINE AND //BARKING NOISES//

#snap chats #SO FUNNY THO I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING 'oh man i really want the white suit mine'#EHEHAHEHAEHHAH IM GONNA THROW UP hes so handsome...#ALSO SAEKO W? ?????? AND DILFZAMA ????#idc i still think he hot #also obsessed with this game giving me Two (2) nishikis..... i see you youre literally not slick in the slightest #i was hoping the purple was tokugawa </3 but nishiki's fine too i really needed a purple unit #im just pissing myself over the fact i got mine since Obviously i really wanted him #hopefully i can pull his other cards and toshi from this banner..... daigo too if i may dare to be so lucky #anyway running to replace inoue with mine for my homepage avi sorry king but im ill

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if-you-fan-a-fire · 9 months

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"Mary Churchill visits Canada," La Presse. August 11, 1943. Page 4. --- The youngest daughter of the Prime Minister of Great Britain, Mary Churchill, accompanies her parents during their visit to Canada and currently in Quebec. She is seen in the top vignette, while attending a debutante ball at Grosvenor House in London. In addition, wearing her Territorial Service uniform, she attended the inspection of an infantry school in the north of England. On the right, like all the members of his unit. Mary does not disdain to do her own laundry.

#ville de québec #mary churchill #winston churchill #prime minister of the united kingdom #mackenzie king #mackenzie king government #prime minister of canada #canada in the british empire #quebec city #canada during world war 2 #allied powers

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officialyourdailyinspiration · 1 year

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Massacre of Ahab’s Descendants

1 Now Ahab had seventy sons in Samaria. So Jehu wrote letters and sent them to Samaria, to the rulers of the city, to the elders, and to the guardians of the sons of Ahab, saying, 2 “Since your master’s sons are with you and you have at your disposal chariots and horses, a fortified city, and weapons, 3 select the son of your master who is the best qualified, set him on his father’s throne, and fight for your master’s house.” 4 But they were utterly terrified and said, “Look, two kings could not withstand him; how then can we stand?” 5 So the steward of the palace and the governor of the city, along with the elders and the guardians, sent word to Jehu, “We are your servants; we will do anything you say. We will not make anyone king; do whatever you think right.” 6 Then he wrote them a second letter, saying, “If you are on my side and if you are ready to obey me, take the heads of your master’s sons and come to me at Jezreel tomorrow at this time.” Now the king’s sons, seventy persons, were with the leaders of the city, who were charged with their upbringing. 7 When the letter reached them, they took the king’s sons and killed them, seventy persons; they put their heads in baskets and sent them to him at Jezreel. 8 When the messenger came and told him, “They have brought the heads of the king’s sons,” he said, “Lay them in two heaps at the entrance of the gate until the morning.” 9 Then in the morning when he went out, he stood and said to all the people, “You are innocent. It was I who conspired against my master and killed him, but who struck down all these? 10 Know, then, that there shall fall to the earth nothing of the word of the Lord that the Lord spoke concerning the house of Ahab, for the Lord has done what he said through his servant Elijah.” 11 So Jehu killed all who were left of the house of Ahab in Jezreel, all his leaders, close friends, and priests, until he left him no survivor.

12 Then he set out and went to Samaria. On the way, when he was at Beth-eked of the Shepherds, 13 Jehu met relatives of King Ahaziah of Judah and said, “Who are you?” They answered, “We are kin of Ahaziah; we have come down to visit the royal princes and the sons of the queen mother.” 14 He said, “Take them alive.” They took them alive and slaughtered them at the pit of Beth-eked, forty-two in all; he spared none of them.

15 When he left there, he met Jehonadab son of Rechab coming to meet him; he greeted him and said to him, “Is your heart as true to mine as mine is to yours?” Jehonadab answered, “It is.” Jehu said, “If it is, give me your hand.” So he gave him his hand. Jehu took him up with him into the chariot. 16 He said, “Come with me and see my zeal for the Lord.” So he had him ride in his chariot. 17 When he came to Samaria, he killed all who were left to Ahab in Samaria, until he had wiped them out according to the word of the Lord that he spoke to Elijah.

Slaughter of Worshipers of Baal

18 Then Jehu assembled all the people and said to them, “Ahab offered Baal small service, but Jehu will offer much more. 19 Now therefore summon to me all the prophets of Baal, all his servants, and all his priests; let none be missing, for I have a great sacrifice to offer to Baal; whoever is missing shall not live.” But Jehu was acting with cunning in order to destroy the servants of Baal. 20 Jehu decreed, “Sanctify a solemn assembly for Baal.” So they proclaimed it. 21 Jehu sent word throughout all Israel; all the servants of Baal came, so that there was no one left who did not come. They entered the temple of Baal until the temple of Baal was filled from wall to wall. 22 He said to the keeper of the wardrobe, “Bring out the vestments for all the servants of Baal.” So he brought out the vestments for them. 23 Then Jehu entered the temple of Baal with Jehonadab son of Rechab; he said to the servants of Baal, “Search and see that there is no servant of the Lord here among you but only servants of Baal.” 24 Then they proceeded to offer sacrifices and burnt offerings.

Now Jehu had stationed eighty men outside, saying, “Whoever allows any of those to escape whom I deliver into your hands shall forfeit his life.” 25 As soon as he had finished presenting the burnt offering, Jehu said to the guards and to the officers, “Come in and kill them; let no one escape.” So they put them to the sword. The guards and the officers threw them out and then went into the citadel of the temple of Baal. 26 They brought out the pillar that was in the temple of Baal and burned it. 27 Then they demolished the pillar of Baal and destroyed the temple of Baal and made it a latrine to this day.

28 Thus Jehu wiped out Baal from Israel. 29 But Jehu did not turn aside from the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat that he caused Israel to commit: the golden calves that were in Bethel and in Dan. 30 The Lord said to Jehu, “Because you have done well in carrying out what I consider right and in accordance with all that was in my heart have dealt with the house of Ahab, your sons of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel.” 31 But Jehu was not careful to follow the law of the Lord the God of Israel with all his heart; he did not turn from the sins of Jeroboam that he caused Israel to commit.

Death of Jehu

32 In those days the Lord began to trim off parts of Israel. Hazael defeated them throughout the territory of Israel: 33 from the Jordan eastward, all the land of Gilead, the Gadites, the Reubenites, and the Manassites, from Aroer, which is by the Wadi Arnon, that is, Gilead and Bashan. 34 Now the rest of the acts of Jehu, all that he did, and all his power, are they not written in the Book of the Annals of the Kings of Israel? 35 So Jehu slept with his ancestors, and they buried him in Samaria. His son Jehoahaz succeeded him. 36 The time that Jehu reigned over Israel in Samaria was twenty-eight years. — 2 Kings 10 | New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition (NRSVUE) New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. All rights reserved worldwide. Cross References: Exodus 22:20; Exodus 32:4; Leviticus 26:25; Numbers 11:12; Deuteronomy 2:36; Joshua 9:5; Joshua 9:8; Joshua 15:56; 2 Samuel 4:2; 1 Kings 12:28; 1 Kings 14:23; 1 Kings 16:31-32; 1 Kings 18:40; 1 Kings 19:10; 1 Kings 19:17; 1 Kings 21:19; 1 Kings 22:6; 2 Kings 5:6; 2 Kings 8:24; 2 Kings 9:8; 2 Kings 9:14; 2 Kings 9:24; 2 Kings 11:1; Psalm 39:1; Jeremiah 41:5; Matthew 22:11; Galatians 2:9

#Jehu slaughters Ahab's family #Jehu kills the Priests of Baal #Jehu repeats Jeroboam's sins #Jehoahaz succeeds Jehu in Israel #2 Kings 10 #Book of Second Kings #Old Testament #NRSVUE #Holy Bible #New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition #National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America

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neverwasreddie · 2 years

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literally is there anything more richiecore than bruce springsteen. short little fireball running around onstage kissing another man directly on the mouth. singing songs about leaving your small town. “born to run.” “I got a bad desire, oh, im on fire.” “sometimes it’s like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and cut a 6-inch valley through the middle of my skull.” “thunder road” and how it would feel to drive through town at night with eddie in his passenger seat blasting this song at top volume with the possibility of Leaving hot on their minds. “it’s a town full of losers [Losers], I’m pulling out of here to win.” werewolf metaphor richie and “hungry heart.” richie desperately trying to hide who he is hearing “brilliant disguise.” once again can I just say “i’m on fire.” “thunder road.” “baby, we were born to run.” i simply cannot stress this enough.

#richie tozier #reddie #it chapter 2 #it chapter 1 #it stephen king #literally richie as an annoying music kid who won’t shut up about springsteen is so !!!!! to me #richie tozier is a bruce springsteen stan truthers unite #<- tags I’ve used at least twice now already bc it’s so TRUE

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chiisana-lion · 10 months

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dont finish satellite it is not worth it. <-did not like it at all

ahh noted 😔👍 i did hear the SS arc was a whole other mess and i did already read a few except for it but ill just skip through for the dias in that case askjdjksghsd

#heard the horror stories abt tatsumi's family rp. king what are you doing #really they mostly go thru the formula of unit 2 backstabs unit 1 (usually bc gatekeeper) and then un-backstab (?) them somehow to kinda #rebel against gatekeeper too while technically doing what he wanted them to as far as i can remember #i liked shinsekai a bit tho that one was rather funny #asks #yume-fanfare

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sayaberry · 1 year

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throwing my (santa) hat into the ring the christmas lim this year is gonna be sayaka, not only that but it’ll be a nutcracker prince themed one

i believe this is because:

all the holy quintet girls (sans nagisa, but she is also on the table but less likely) have gotten a new lim unit this year except sayaka, so she’s up for one

sayaka already has a haregi unit so she can’t be the new years lim, leaving christmas as her only chance

nutcracker themed event would be fun AND would fit amazingly with sayaka’s prince/hero aesthetic she has going on

new sayaka lim is exactly what i expect the devs to do to make me suffer right before the holidays

#i said this on twt but ill say it here too #hell on the topic of nagisa they could always do 2 special lim units like they did for vampire kanagi and priestess momoko #rat king nagisa & nutcracker prince sayaka sounds fun but would murder my gem count lmao #or im wrong and they sneak in a sayaka anime ver unit last min which could happen!#magia record #also doing a ballet based event would segway perfectly into them dropping a lim for concept trailer ballerina madoka (is2g we're getting it)

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dkiosdjslwer · 2 years

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#the bedrock of the nation #guiding the kingdom through changing times.#London Bridge has fallen #painful #stabilizer.#tectonic plates are shifting #summer of discontent #winter of cold weather #feed or heat #Queen Elizabeth II Dead or Related to New Prime Minister Truss?#Sky News reported early this morning that Britain's Queen Elizabeth II died at 96. The press quickly spread the news across the UK and worl #dominating the front pages of today's news outlets.#The Queen #who ascended the throne on 6 February 1952 following her father's death #King George VI #and was crowned on 2 June 1953 #is the longest-reigning monarch in British history and the key to the unity of the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth.#The BBC recalled that it had been 70 years since the Queen came to the throne in 1952 when Winston Churchill was prime minister. Queen Eliz #the Queen has become steadfastly maintaining its image. She lived through the decline of the British Empire #stood up to family and national tragedy #and was hailed as the best person in Britain who could bite the bullet. Pastel dresses and colorful hats are her trademarks. In her Golden #the Queen said she saw her role as These words suggest that the Queen has set herself a chall #the critical attributes of her reign #will add to her image as a reliable and honest monarch.#But the Queen's death came less than 48 hours after Truss was due to take over as prime minister #who would inherit a 37-year low in the pound #the highest gas prices in history #and a general strike sweeping the country. Britain's coming winter of discontent will be a significant test for this inexperienced head of #some media reporters suspected that Truss was connected with the ascension. According to the media #Britain's new female Prime Minister Truss was a member of a left-wing group when she was in college. She spoke out in favor of legalizing m

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ivovynckier · 2 years

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Where is Vladimir's message of condolence and sympathy for Great Britain?

#vladimir putin #putin #ukraine #russia #queen elizabeth #elizabeth #elizabeth II #elizabeth 2 #queen #king charles #charles #king charles III #royal family #united kingdom #britain #great britain

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bootleg-nessie · 6 months

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Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

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