#AND THEN HE RETURNED THE FAVOUR TO HER THE NIGHT THEY GOT ENGAGED AND ALSO MARRIED

[hrefna-the-raven]

Hot as Hades

Masterlist

Words: 2154

Chapter 1 - Call me with a prayer

Summary: You always prayed to Hades and one night, he finally answered your prayers

Warnings: none, just cuteness and love

More and more people assembled for the festivities of Chtonia. Instead of partaking in the customary rituals like the rest, you chose to venture alone into the neighbouring forest. Your ebony peplos gracefully swayed in the gentle evening breeze as you strolled, held together by a sapphire belt that accentuated your form. Clasped tightly in your grasp was an amphora brimming with the finest wine as you navigated through the thick foliage. You had always been somewhat of a solitary soul, finding solace in the company of animals and the natural world rather than in the presence of others. Therefore, it came as no surprise that you would also pay homage to the gods in seclusion, or more specifically, one particular deity. Your steps came to a halt in front of a weathered shrine, a small wooden box housing an intricate statuette of Hades. Since your earliest memories, you had felt an inexplicable pull towards the ruler of the underworld, without understanding why or needing to know. For years, you had frequented this shrine, engaging in conversations with the god. Though he never responded, it mattered not to you; you continued to visit and converse with him nevertheless.

Little did you know that the ruler of the underworld listened to every single one of your prayers. You intruiged him, becoming a pleasant diversion from his daily dealings with the departed. Initially, he was cautious, as no one had ever approached him solely to pray without seeking something in return. Whether it was the resurrection of a loved one or an extension of their own lifespan, prayers were never simple or genuine acts of devotion, at least not for him. That was a luxury that was only granted to the other gods. Of course, he expected the same from you in the beginning, you were only human and mortal after all. However, as years went by, you continued to visit his shrine, offering prayers without any ulterior motives. And until this moment, you had never asked for anything in return, you simply came to talk, and boy, did you have a way of doing so. The jokes you cracked would have made him drop dead laughing, figuratively speaking. While you strolled through the forest, Hades was captivated by your presence, completely engrossed in observing you from the underworld, as Pain and Panic entered the throne room, arguing about who's turn it was to confess their mistake first. Panic suddenly grew silent and nudged Pain, pointing towards Hades, too engrossed in observing you to even notice his minions. Pain let out an amused giggle and stepped forward.

"Your most lugubriousness", he bowed, "are you watching the mortal again?"

Before Hades could respond, Panic interjected, approaching Pain with an impish grin.

"Ah you know the boss got the major hots for her", he could barely contain his smirk, "isn't that right, boss? When are you gonna talk to her? She prays to you for years now."

Hades' hair flaired up and turned a fiery orange before he quickly rushed his hands through, calming the flames until they turned blue again.

"Guys, guys, guys...you know the rules my stupid brother set up", he sighed, "no interaction is permitted until the mortal pleads for a favour."

"But if she does ask something, anything", Pain victoriously pointed his finger up.

"You could appear and talk to her, ask her on a date, boss", Panic finished the idea.

Hades was about to answer when his eyes fell back on you as you kneeled in front of the shrine, holding up the amphora.

"Wouldn't it be far more delightful to share this fine wine with you instead of pouring it to the ground in your name? I'd definitely prefer that", you playfully teased as you removed the cork.

"Boss, she's asking for something! She wants something from you!", exclaimed in a nervous tandem before they blinked and looked around the throne room, "where did he go?"

Just as you were about to pour the wine on the ground, goosebumps formed on your skin and the air around you seemed to shift.

"Baboom. Name is Hades, lord of the dead, hi, howya doin'?", a smooth voice resonated from the dissipating smoke that materialised out of thin air.

As the smoke cleared, a towering, muscular man stood before you, his piercing yellow eyes stared right into your soul. Your gaze trailed over his form, a gasp escaping your lips as you took in his bluish-gray skin and the blue flames crowning his head. Stunned, you found yourself unable to move as the amphora slipped from your grasp but instead of the sound of shattering ceramic, silence met your ears and it levitated toward the god's waiting hands, a mischievous smirk adorning his face as he held it before him.

"My sweet", he winked at you, "it would be shame to throw this on the ground, especially after you mentioned wanting to share it with", he took a few steps closer to you as he leaned down to face you directly, "me."

Hades' smug exterior was the perfectly constructed façade, hiding his crumbling confidence. Question: am I mortified? Answer: yes! What will she say? She will be either afraid or disgusted, either way, this will not work in your favour. He blinked a few times, trying to silence his own thoughts, until he felt your hand on his face. Your fingers trailed up his cheek, brushing against his hair as you observed him with curiosity. But when your fingers got too close to the flames on his head, you quickly pulled them back in pain.

"Ouch", you almost laughed as you licked the burnt fingertips, "one can truly say, you're hot as Hades."

And at that very instant, the mind of the god ceased all function, undergoing a painful shutdown in order to reassess the situation. Throughout the ages, he had revealed himself to countless individuals and witnessed a myriad of reactions, yet not a single mortal had ever responded quite like you did. You just casually not only touched him but also made an admittedly funny joke. Clearing his throat, he snapped his fingers, and in an instant, both of you found yourselves seated on a blanket in the heart of a forest clearing, beneath a breathtakingly clear night sky adorned with shimmering stars. Hades proceeded to pour you a goblet of wine.

"So let's embark on the delightful task of sharing of this finer beverage. What do you mortals fancy these days? Actually, never mind. Don't spoil, I have to try this myself", he remarked as he took a sip from his own chalice.

He hummed at the pleasant taste flodding his mouth, eyes falling shut for a moment as he tried to ignore the rapid beating of his heart in your presence.

"So uhm", you shyly began, peering at him, "how are things in the underworld?"

Great, you mentally scolded yourself, you finally get the chance to talk to your god and this is the best you could come up with?

"Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?"

You couldn't help but chuckle, secretly pondering whether he was simply being polite or if the ruler of the underworld truly shared your sense of humor.

"Come up here and share some wine and jokes with a tiny mortal?", you playfully countered, raising your goblet in invitation.

"Well the dead certainly aren't going anywhere, so what kind of god would I be if I didn't set aside some time from my busy schedule to spend an evening with my most devoted follower?"

You quickly nibbled at your wine, trying to conceal the blush that crept onto your cheeks. The tales circulating about the lord of the underworld were plentiful, none of them portraying him in a favourable light. However, it suddenly struck you that none of these stories had taken the time to truly understand the god sitting next to you. You knew better than to assume that he was only nice and fun based solely on a few pleasantries exchanged, but it also seemed unlikely that he was the monstrous figure painted by the people.

"Here's to Lord Hades, the ruler of the underworld, the lord of the dead, and quite possibly the most handsome god I've encountered thus far", you sincerely smiled at him as you finished another goblet, toasting his name and hoping he wouldn't hold that bold compliment against you.

"Babe, I'm the only god you've met so far."

"But I've seen the statues of the others and meh", you shook your head, "nothing that would shake my acropolis if you catch my drift."

The god burst into a boisterous laughter in response to your remark. After all those years of listening to you, he cherished the warmth of your presence. The way your gaze explored him, brimming with awe and, he could swear, a trace of desire, made him feel woozy on the inside, a weird feeling he hadn't felt in, well, never actually. Time with you slipped away too swiftly, and when Hades caught sight of the sunrise, he let out a melancholic sigh. He took your hand, helped you up and with a snip of his fingers, you found yourself back at the shrine.

"I really enjoyed this, Lord, I mean, my god, Hades", you mumbled, unsure of how to express to an actual god that you yearned for more time together.

My god....my...that one little word, its weight pulling not only his mind in but also his heart which seemed to gravitate around your mortal being, unable to pull away again. Hades shook his head, nervously running his hand through his flaming hair.

"Well, gotta blaze. I have a whole underworld down there waiting for me, so see you around and don't forget to offer your prayers to your one and only", he winked before he disappeared into thin air, leaving behind only a faint trail of dark smoke where he had been standing.

A satisfied grin spread across your lips, your heart fluttering at the mere thought of having spent an entire night with a god. You hummed a sweet tune as you made your way back home, passing the still ongoing festivities. You chuckled at their efforts to please the gods while a small prayer of you summoned the Lord of the underworld himself.

Hades didn't return to the underworld but went back to the clearing, pacing around as the thoughts of the night lingering in his mind. You were a tiny mortal, he was a god, an immortal being, your life would be over within the blink of an eye and then your soul would be floating in the river Styx, for all eternity for him to watch. It would be torment, and he despised torment, at least when it came to himself. He had no qualms inflicting his favourite methods of torture on others. He groaned, his hands rubbing across his face, trying to push away that growing warmth within his chest.

"Well well well", a female voice spoke, causing Hades to spin around, "when I sensed the call of love, I certainly wasn't expecting to find you."

"Aphrodite", Hades huffed, "fancy meeting you here. Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"Oh Hades", the goddess giggled, "the Lord of the underworld in love, and with a mortal no less. How could I be anywhere else when I can revel in taunting you?"

Aphrodite stepped closer, playfully poking her finger into Hades' chest.

"Don't fight it, you won't be able to ignore your love, it has already grown too much."

Hades' hair flared up, fiery orange flames engulfing his neck and shoulders as he suppressed a scream. His nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply, attempting to compose himself while Aphrodite merely chuckled with amusement.

"WHAAAT ARE...? Okay, fine, fine. I'm cool. I'm fine", he grumbled, shooting an irritated glare at the goddess, "I'm.not.in.love."

Although his voice appeared calm, the underlying strain of anger was evident.

"Just savour the moment, my dear", Aphrodite waved at him, "oh and by the way, courtesy of yours truly", she winked at him, mockingly bowing her head, "the mortal loves you too."

And with those words, she disappeared. Hades rolled his eyes; he would never admit it, but she was right. If he set aside his pride and delved deep enough into his corrupted black oozing heart, he would have to acknowledge that the affection and curiosity he felt for you went beyond mere fondness and the fact that you seemed to feel the same way was both worrying and reassuring. Although, for now, he was content to just observe you, spend some time together and see what would unfold and, if possible, hide it from the other gods, they were insufferable enough as it is.

Chapter 2

#disney #disney villains #disney hades #disney hercules #hades #fluff #falling in love #some love for Hades #female reader #hades x reader #disney x reader

[avirael]

FFxivWrite 2023

Day 06 - Ring

With a sad sigh A'viloh looked at the ring in his palm as he stood in front of the goldsmiths‘ guild. It was a delicate little thing but also incredibly pretty. A fine woven silver band with flourishes that seemed to form a lily and in the middle of it a bright peridot. He shook his head and decided that he couldn’t do this.

***

Before he had left for Ul'dah Kikipu had stopped him one last time and asked him for a favour. Carefully she had pulled a necklace from beneath her shirt and took a small silver ring of the chain.

"Take this.", she had said as she pressed it into A'viloh’s hand. "Sell it for me when you’re in Ul'dah. I meant to do so for a while now but couldn’t bring myself to do it, but if you go in my place… Well, the money will help us a lot to keep this place out of these greedy bastards hands."

She sighed as A'viloh turned the ring between his fingers. "It’s so beautiful! The stone is so bright, what is it? And where did you get it?"

"A peridot." Kikipu explained. "My fiancé gave it to me a long time ago and told me he chose it because it looks just like my eyes."

The Miqo'te looked and the stone once more and then at Kikipu’s face. "Yes, it’s really close."

Kikipu laughed and said. "But not quite, right? I guess he just couldn’t afford an emerald. Really it looks more like your eyes than mine!"

At that A'viloh had to laugh too but then he picked up on something she had said. He wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask but given the fact that Kikipu wanted to sell this ring it seemed like an important detail to A'viloh.

"You said your fiancé gave it to you. Where did he go?"

"Shortly after our engagement he fell very sick and died soon after.", she explained with a sad look on her face.

A'viloh already motioned to give it back to her. "Then you can’t sell this!", he exclaimed. He felt a little jealous about this memento and upset about the fact she wanted to give it away. He had nothing at all that reminded him of Laqa. Everything they had they either had to leave behind or got taken from them. If he had something like this he was sure he would cherish it forever.

But Kikipu shook her head and pushed his hand back. "Like I said, it was a long time ago. Also, I think he would be happy to know that his present ensures I can keep our home. This place and the people here are more important than a piece of jewellery."

He understood what she said and it made sense but it still didn’t feel right to him. "Are you really sure about this?"

"I am.", she nodded vehemently. "Please go to Serendipity at the Goldsmiths‘ Guild and show it to hear. She‘s a good person and an expert on jewellery, she will give you an appropriate amount of gil for it."

He had agreed reluctantly and then she had shooed him away, warning him that he wouldn’t make it before sunset if he kept on dawdling.

***

When he returned to the Silver Bazaar a few weeks later the stars had just started to appear in the sky. He had spent the afternoon with some tasks in the area and decided to return home for the night before heading to Horizon the next morning.

Kikipu and the other people had been happy to see him return safely and eager to hear about his visit to the city. They all gathered on cushions on the floor in the middle of the bazaar and A'viloh spent hours telling them about all the things he had seen and learned until one after another excused themselves and went to bed. In the end only Kikipu remained.

"About the thing you send me to do.", A'viloh started, pulled a pouch of coins from his bag and gave it to her. "This should be enough to keep this place safe for a while I hope."

She took the pouch with a deep sigh and looked inside. Then she said visibly surprised: "This is a lot more than I expected! You can’t tell me Serendipity gave you this much Gil for that old thing."

"Ah, about that…", A'viloh answered and pulled the little peridot ring from his pocket. "Don’t be mad but I couldn’t bring myself to sell it."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "What? But… How?" she stuttered and looked at him in disbelief. "Where did you get all that money from??"

He smiled and put the ring in her hand.

"I worked for it. I made deliveries, I hunted monsters, I even played the weavers‘ guild mascot for a day. Whatever job I could find, so you could keep this."

Baffled she looked at him and then started to blink. A'viloh could see the tears forming in her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

"Oh A'vi, thank you so much! This means so much to me! Oh, my sweet boy, I am so proud of you!"

At that A'viloh teared up a little too. To see Kikipu so happy made him very happy too. But to hear her say that she was proud of him? No one had every said that to him.

"Thank you.", he whispered and embraced her tightly.

#ffxivwrite2023 #ffxivwrite #ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv writing #ARR #A'viloh Tia #at first I wanted to write something about ifrit #you know because of the ring of fire in the ifrit fight #but that would have been yet another anxious story #I wanted to write something wholesome instead today... #let's see what the next prompt brings haha!

[sokkas-first-fangirl]

I saw that u made a post asking for prompts/just to talk about fandoms. I was meaning to send an ask when I saw it but I forgot 😭😭 heres something different for you: I'm so happy to see that you like futurama as well, that show has such a special place in my heart 😭😭 and the lack of fics (especially freela fics) is actually maddening 😤😤😤 if you want to, could you throw us some freela relationship headcanons?😳😳💖

The original girlboss and malewife! 👏👏

Fry and Leela were probably the first fictional couple I shipped, before I even knew what shipping was. I just knew I really wanted them to end up together

(The lack of fanfic is a travesty, justice for my disaster couple)

Headcanon time!

When Fry and Leela are officially engaged (y'know, without time being frozen in the process) Bender gives a rather dramatic monologue about how he can't believe Leela didn't ask his blessing. Fry's protests that he proposed go unheard. Bender demands (somewhat jokingly but mostly seriously) that Leela asks for his blessing

No, Bender does not tear up when Leela goes along with it and asks, shut up

No one's sure who cried more at the wedding: Leela's parents, or Zoidberg

They get a dog, damn it! 👏👏

They have two kids: a girl and a boy

Fry remembers how much Yancy hated his name, so while he doesn't name his son Yancy, he returns the favour and uses it as a middle name

Their daughter's middle name is Munda, after Leela's mom

The entire Planet Express crew absolutely adores these kids. Everyone has babysat and they all have very different ways of handling the kids

One time, Leela and Fry came to collect the kids to find them doing paperwork with Hermes. They actually seemed to be enjoying it

Cubert just thinks it's low-key weird that the babies whose diapers he's changing are actually his aunt and uncle

Fry tries to imagine his parents babysitting his kids and shudders in horror. He misses them and wishes every day that his parents could have met them, but letting his parents look after them could only have resulted in utter chaos

One time, someone hits on Fry in front of Leela, despite the obvious wedding rings. Everyone expects Leela to lose it and start a fight. Her usual "I'm gonna kick her ass" attitude. Instead, she surprises them all: she grabs Fry and straight up dips him in a kiss instead

Fry loves it

Fry has also surprised everyone (and horrified Hermes) by starting a fight when some drunken idiot wouldn't shut up about how "weird" Leela's eye is

Fry, drunk: "That's my girlfriend!" Kif: "Fry, that's your wife." Fry: "My wife!? Even better!"

Leela: "I wasn't that drunk last night." Amy: "You hit on Fry." Leela: "So? That's not weird, he's my husband." Amy: "You asked if he was single." Leela: "..." Amy: "You kicked over a table when he said he wasn't."

It takes Brannigan a solid year to realise Leela and Fry are married. Kif has tried to tell him, but Zapp never listened and just never noticed the rings. He nearly crashes his ship when he finally notices

What follows is a long, dramatic sob-fest about how he can't believe he wasn't invited to the wedding

He was. He just never read the invitation and tossed it

Overall, Fry and Leela are just an adorable couple. They're not all over each other in public, but they're always seen holding hands or sitting together. The amount of inside jokes they have is ridiculous. They always smile when they see each other

They are going to live a long and happy life together, so help me god

This got way longer than I anticipated, but that's what happens when you have headcanons for years 😁

#fry x leela #freela #philip j fry #turanga leela #answers #asks #headcanons #futurama #i love them your honour #the original girlboss and malewife #freela headcanons #futurama headcanons

[technicallymellowrebel]

A tribute to my father

When dad was out of work he’d go fishing. That was his hobby. Problem was we needed money at home for food, school fees and other expenses not fish. So no one wanted to clean and cook the fish when he came home. This made him mad and he eventually stopped fishing, temporarily. He also read books and loved sitting at our balcony listening to news on a small portable radio. Afterwards he’d go have a cup of coffee with his friends. That was his routine every evening.

He found work as a door to door salesman hawking glasses, school bags, thermos and anything sellable. He  was in his late fifties. He could’ve been somewhere else enjoying his sunset years but you see he’d been fired from work, invested badly and here he was trying to save face. Had he wanted he could have looked for work soon after the axe had fallen but he squandered his golden handshake and put the rest in business. Before hawking, he’d tried running a butchery, a pick up truck for transport services and both failed. A fish shop didn’t bring any returns either. I was still in high school then and I remember he gave me one of the bags he was selling. He’d come home exhausted from walking all day under the scorching sun or rained on with a heavy bag on his back. It felt good seeing him in the evening knowing that supper was guaranteed.

He later quit and found work with the hospice cancer centre as the administrator. Life was a bit tolerable then but he was soon laid off. Never knew the reason. He later joined a few multilevel marketing companies selling the mirage of good health and youthful vigor. He sold health supplements and moonlighted as a land broker. Dad finally caught a break and  sold a parcel of land that gave him a commission of  three hundred thousand shillings. He moved out and spent the next seven years of his life away from his family except for the occasional visit to pick rent money from a shop we leased.

Life was not always gloom and doom. Up until the year 1998, we’d been living quite a comfortable life. My siblings and I were in school, mom had her own tailoring business and life was good as per the standards of an eight year old. Dad was a senior accountant with a liquor distributing company for sometime and was later promoted to manager. This had it’s perks such as sports club membership for the entire family which we never joined as dad was too ashamed to be seen with his unsophisticated family so he opted to go alone. He was never home. We lived a modest life contrary to my father’s paycheck. We didn’t know any better  so any exclusion from social engagements that required the presence of his family went unnoticed. Ignorance is bliss. We were content in our own little world.

Of course this didn’t mean that there weren’t other favourable recipients of his generous coffers. My mom knew of his philandering but she put up with it occasionally bringing it up when they fought.

The fights were many, more so after his redundancy. He loved his bottle and was up to no good when drunk.  He’d lash out at mom, beat her up while threatening to kill her. Most fights happened at night. We’d all wake up from the commotion and try to pacify him. He’d rant how he hated living with a quarrelsome woman and no good kids who failed in school and would never amount to much. After shouting to his heart’s content he calmed down and slept like nothing ever happened. Several visitors to the home have had the pleasure of witnessing his theatrical performance. Outsiders knew him to be a loving husband, father and friend.

He’d propagate this façade by slandering mom and how he was being mistreated . He at one time threatened to run over my mom. She’d had enough and when he got into his car threatening to jump off a bridge mom stood right in front of him and dared him to do so. This was at two in the morning outside our house for all sleep deprived fellows to enjoy the drama. The embarrassment of walking around the neighborhood after such incidents was overwhelming. The one that really made me sick was when mom had to run into our bedroom and got under my sister’s bed just to hide from him. He couldn’t come in forcefully to get her so he stood outside the door calling her all sorts of names until he got tired and retreated to his room. I cried feeling sorry for mom and this is where my resentment of him was born.

I remember probing her countless times why she stayed. She said she had nowhere to take five kids, also society was not so forgiving to a woman who left her home. To them a drunken tantrum, a few bruises and insults was never enough to abandon your marriage. She had sisters who were thought to be happily married , I think this influenced heavily her decision to persevere and stay put. If we’re being honest mom was no saint either. She had her own baggage and dad was fed up. She knew the right buttons to get the man go berserk. She had her own frustrations too like accepting she settled for a  violent drunk fisherman.

The fights and his lack of interest in my studies during high school and not having plans for my college education ruined whatever was left of our relationship. I was always being sent home for fees arears. Dad would respond by going fishing thus the dislike for whatever catch he brought home. Good Samaritans have seen me through my high school years. I’m forever grateful. I aced my exams with a  B- grade and that was the end of my dad’s efforts to educate me. Anyway a few years pass , life happens and I find myself at home separated from my husband  and  pregnant. This brings tension. My mom and brothers are hostile and mean. I look up dad and fill him in on what’s happening. Ever a loving father he comforts me and makes a call to quell the unrest. I had every right to stay in his home.

This was in June 2019. I manage to move out in July and rent my own place just to have peace. We keep communicating and soon after meet at a café near my place.

I remember fussing over his weight loss and he reassured me that he was actually doing great. He said that his diabetes was under control and the prostate situation was also taken care of. I had my doubts. He looked weak, had sunken eyes, ashy and dry skin that looked kinda dehydrated. We talked at length reminiscing on the past and hopeful for the unknown future. He sounded upbeat that he still had time to put his affairs in order and God would see him through. He told me of a legit deal that would get him good money to buy a lorry for light transport business. He also promised to support me financially if all went well.

Two weeks later I have a CS  and my angel is born on 23 August. Dad comes to see the baby. He brings me diapers and I’m grateful. We talk while he carries the baby. Asks about the name, weight and all things babies. I ask him if he’s happy he says he is at peace as long as he’s away from mom. That he’d rather starve to death but have peace of mind. I took this literally. He tells me that he prays for his children to have a good life.  He stares at her for a moment and seems lost in thought then says he has to leave. He promises to come see the child after I’m discharged and well settled. I watch him leave shuffling along the hospital corridors. I didn’t know that was the last I saw of him.

I’m back home and he checks on me every other day. I had lost my phone earlier so the one I used could only send messages. He died three weeks after the birth of my child. He was sick. Had been sick. He was tired and wanted out. There wasn’t a significant difference between the life he lived at home and away. He had always hoped of living a better life once he’d left home but he was still struggling and blamed it on mom. He drank local booze, smoked and never ate though he had food in the house. He was also severely dehydrated. His liver and lungs had had enough of the abuse.

You can only keep a grudge for so long. The last days I spent with him made me reflect on my own shortcomings. I wasn’t a perfect child nor he a perfect father but was by my side when I needed him and that was all that mattered. He was a flawed man. He had not healed from his childhood, failed marriage, bad luck at business and career. He had spent his money on others and neglected his family and when he came home empty handed his family had no use for him. His friends had abandoned him too.  Alcohol and cigarettes were his escape. I only wish my parents had put aside pride and reconciled. I wish he had spent his last days with us at home as a family. He was still our father and he gave us life. We owed him a dignified death. I don’t condone his behaviour, I only hope we’ve learned from his mistakes.

So when I got the news I cried. Cried for that man that used to spend Christmas with us playing cards and board games before money came along and family was forgotten. Cried for that man that went fishing so his family didn’t starve, he was still providing even when he was down and we didn’t appreciate his efforts. In retrospect, fishing was also his way of meditating and clearing his head, a safe space.

Cried  for the man who valued and fought for me when my family rejected me. Cried for the man who came to see his grandchild as he was exiting. A life was given and one was taken.

I cried because I’d spent two years without speaking with him mindlessly tending to past grudges. I cried because he tried to make up for his mistakes, tried to be a father to his daughter one last time. I guess we reunited for him to see his grandchild and bid farewell to his daughter.

I look at my kids and see a little of him in them. I look at myself and see his love for books, a resilient fighter, a temperamental hot head(working on it), a the gap between my front teeth just like his and yes his nails, manly  nails I have and I can’t complain because I’m part of him. There is so much more. For sure death is ultimate, it transcends everything.  I miss you so much dad. I really hope you found the peace  that was so elusive here on Earth. Rest well papa.

#my words #writers on tumblr #female writers #writerslife #writerscommunity

[ccmpletemess]

〔 ilhan sen, 33, cis man, he/him ) ceyhan yazici was seen listening to monsters by ruelle. ceyhan is a ceo of yazici menswear and known to be intelligent & vindictive.

trigger warnings:

Born to Ecem and Aykan Yazici, he was the oldest of three children. Technically, only by several minutes against his sister, Feyza, despite how much he holds it over the other. His two sisters mean everything to him, and despite how much he acts like he doesn't give a damn about anything, he's extremely loyal and protective over the two of them.

Both his parents run successful businesses', and so not only did Ceyhan grow up in the eyes of the media, but he grew up ridiculously wealthy. To make up for the fact their parents weren't around often, the Yazici parents showered their children with gifts, and they practically got away with anything.

Ceyhan was often causing mischief, getting into fights he knew he could win. It was mostly a way to get his own way, get his parents to show a little bit of attention to him. Besides, he also loved causing chaos.

He was never easy to get along with, with his snide comments and his penchant for trouble, he was often seen as a bit of an asshole, and he usually attracted similar friends.

The only one that can usually knock some sense into him is one of his sisters, usually with a slap up the side of the head from Feyza.

Growing up, the Yazici siblings were sent to an international boarding school for rich children. It was there he met Feyza's roommate and eventual best friend, Ivana. At first, he shrugged the girl off, she was just Feyza's irritating friend. But the more he threw at her, the more she actually returned his attitude, his snarky comments and he found it far more amusing than he should.

As interested as he was in Ivana, he had no intentions of pursuing anything with the other. In his parents eyes, she was the ideal partner, so naturally, he wanted nothing to do with it to spite them.

He mostly sticks to one night stands, though he had a relationship that lasted a year. It didn't end well and they despise him now, but he's not too bothered about it.

After he finished schooling, Ceyhan immediately began working for his father's menswear company, the other training him to take his place as owner when he eventually steps down. Over the years he took on more control, now practically running the place as his father steps back. His mother's company was to be passed onto Feyza and their younger sister.

Wanting Ceyhan to settle down for his image, making him look as a better fit for the CEO of the company, his father arranged a marriage. Cey argued how old fashioned it was, but his father wasn't having any of it, if he wanted to continue to run the company, he was to get married. The person, naturally, that his father picked out was none other than Ivana.

The two went on dates encouraged by their parents and Ceyhan mostly went on these dates to try and prove to his parents it would be a disaster and wouldn't work. However, the more time he spent with Ivana, the more he grew to like her even more. It wasn't just on an attraction level either, he'd grown rather fond of the other.

Naturally, not having dealt with feelings very well before, he freaked out, and several days before the engagement party, was pictured in the media very publicly making out with another. In retaliation, Ivana showed up with a date to their engagement party and the whole thing was called off.

His father, naturally, blamed him for it and berated his own son, and Ceyhan's sway over the company faltered a little. He worked tirelessly to gain back his father's favour. To this day, despite his own part in it's downfall, he's still bitter at Ivana.

He's currently back to his one night stands and sleeping his way through the town, because despite the fact he can be an asshole, he's also very good at turning on the charm and getting what he wants.

#about; ceyhan yazici. #sero.intro

[darkherolovercroissant]

I Still Care About You

Arthur X Mary X Friend Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of Eliza and Issac, happy ending for all three (except Issac and Eliza lol sorry), fuck canon Arthur don’t die.

Masterlist

———————————————————————-

You had been in the gang just as long as Arthur, you seen him grow up from an awkward teen to a strong man. However, there was one thing that couldn’t shake, that was Mary.

You had been in the gang just as long as Arthur, you seen him grow up from an awkward teen to a strong man. However, there was one thing that couldn’t shake, that was Mary.

You watched as the boy fell in love and became engaged, you also watched as he strolled back into camp heartbroken and wanting to die. Mary really hurt him, but you understood where she was coming from.

There were times you planned leaving the group too, but you stayed for Arthur. Bessie and Annabelle passed and the more you think about it, the more you believed that Mary was thinking unlike others.

You knew what the lifestyle was like ever since you joined, but you still dreamt of a house and a family, but you wouldn’t get that when you’re an outlaw. So one night you packed up all your belongings and put the saddlebags over your horse, that’s when Arthur stumbled back into camp.

His eyes were red and he looked so heartbroken, he walked right by you and into his tent. You followed right behind to see him sleeping, but clutching his pillow tightly.

You walked over to the horse and grabbed your stuff before setting it all back up. You were staying to make sure he was ok.

————

The next month was a nightmare. Arthur was drinking like there was no tomorrow, he didn’t care about anything unless it was what he was going to drink next.

You watched as the young man became a monster, yelling at Hosea and even got violent with John. Abigail and you weren’t much better for his anger.

He called Abigail every bad name in the book and once asked how much you costed, which earned a slap across the face. He didn’t take too kindly to that, so he returned the favour. That’s when John had enough and knocked him out.

When he came to, Arthur couldn’t understand why people were barely talking to him or even wanting to be near him. He froze when he saw your face and how bruised it was. Your left eye was swollen shut and you flinched a lot.

Abigail told him off and he disappeared for a while. You packed up and left for a while too, you needed a break and you didn’t want to be here when Arthur returned.

————

After moving to a new camp, Arthur strolled into town and found someone to share a night with. Looking back on it, you could tell that Arthur had no regrets until not much later.

Arthur had disappeared for a couple days a month and when Arthur had said the reason why, John just cuffed him while Abigail face palmed.

When he looked at you, you just glared back and shook your head. Hosea just shrugged and Dutch looked like Arthur just killed Annabelle himself.

Arthur was beside himself and he regretted a lot more than opening his mouth now. You excused yourself and Arthur followed behind you.

If anyone was going to listen, it was going to be you.

“Look, I know I ain’t the best person to be a dad, but it happened and I can’t do anything about it now.” He mutters

“It happened because you couldn’t cope. You got your heart broken, so you seek validation in another and now you got more problems to deal with.” You sigh

“I wasn’t good enough for her.” He responded

“Arthur. For fucks sake, it wasn’t because she didn’t love you. It was because it’s terrifying being a woman in this day and age. She’s scared of what her father could’ve done to her and her brother. Also sorry she doesn’t want to give up a life of security and comfort for a life that you die young in.” You snap

Arthur tilts his head down and shakes it lightly. He fucked up big time and you were right, but he’d never admit it. Why would he admit that you were right? You’d never experience what he did.

“Get it together, Morgan. You’re supposed to be a man, not a child.” You dismiss

————

One day, Arthur heads out and you know that he’s off to see Eliza and Issac. That’s where he’s been going off to a lot lately. Of course, you understood that it’s his family, but you wished the two had never met. No offence to the other two, but the family was draining Arthur emotionally and physically.

He was always worrying about them and you overheard Hosea saying that he should bring them with him back to camp, but Arthur protested. Saying that ‘I don’t want them a part of this life’ but Hosea would counter and say ‘they’re a part of this life because of who his son’s father was’

When Arthur returned, he was depressed and clearly red eyed. Rushing over to him, he told you about finding Eliza and Issac’s crosses. You gasped and hugged him tightly. Immediately feeling like shit for ever thinking negatively about them, well you got your karma as did Arthur for thinking that a bad guy could have good things.

—————

Mad you stood in Horseshoe overlook, Arthur read a letter and then basically bolted to his horse. You roll your eyes playfully as the man was once again a young boy in love.

Much later when he returned, he fell asleep with a smile on his face and when you peeked into his journal, your heart melted at how this tough man was a little boy at heart.

A♥️M

“What a loser” you playfully tease before ruffling his hair and leaving him to sleep.

—————

Now as you wander the streets of Saint Denis, you spot a sight that would make the campfire interesting tonight. Quickly snapping a picture, you caught Arthur acting like a gentleman while escorting Mary to the trolley. You snickered as Mary kissed his cheek and Arthur just stopped working before blushing badly.

As the trolley pulls away, you place on his shoulder, which makes him jump before cursing you out. You laugh and lightly punch him before teasing him about Mary.

He shuts up immediately and groans before shoving you and walking away. He stops as you continue to laugh loudly from the ground and he joins in on the laughing.

“You’re a terrible friend. You know that?” Arthur chuckles as he helps you up.

“I’m nicer than you deserve.” You reply

“I guess that’s true.”

“So any plans for the future with a certain Mary?” You tease

Immediately you’re back on the ground as Arthur walks away blushing.

————

Beaver Hollow, the last place we’d call camp, but it didn’t feel like camp. Tensions were rising and everyone was at each other’s throats.

Arthur had gotten the women and John out, but others stayed behind. Arthur had taken you outside of camp and you saw his horse with his saddlebags packed.

“We’re leaving now. There’s nothing left for us here.” He sighs

You nod and follow behind him and you get to copperhead landing where the others were. Tilly, Mary Beth,Sadie, Abigail, John, Jack hell even Charles was there. You all said your goodbyes and went in different directions. You followed Arthur to Annesburg and when you arrived, you saw a figure get up and almost tackle Arthur to the ground.

“You actually came.” She gushes

“I told you I would, Mary.” Arthur smiled

“Hello y/n.” She smiled pulling you into a big hug.

“Hello Mary. I trust you’re well.” You smile

“More than well. I have someone who’s willing to take us up North. Will you be joining us? If so, you’d be welcome.” She smiled

“I would, but this is your journey. I’m branching off here.” You respond

“Well..take care. If you’re ever up there, this is where you’ll find us” Mary sighs before handing you an envelope.

“Thank you. Best of luck to both of you, now get out of here. It won’t be long before Dutch or Micah come looking for you, Arthur.”

You hug them both and then mount up and ride out of Annesburg and onto a new path as you leave that life in the past, in search of a new future.

——————

It’s been ten years and you finally made the decision to head up north. You look at the scenery as the carriage drops you off at the station.

Your significant other and son hop out of the carriage as you look around the town before spotting a familiar face.

If he was trying to blend in, he was doing a horrible job at it. The stupid hat sitting on his head was enough to give him away, but in many ways, Arthur looked weird without it.

Approaching him, Mary saw you first and pointed you out. Arthur spun around quickly and enveloped you in a big hug.

“I never thought I’d ever see you again” he says

“Of course you would. I still care about you guys. I see you two are doing well.” You gesture to Mary’s stomach, which was growing with the life that was inside.

“Too well. This will be our fourth child” Mary laughs

“You poor thing” you gasp and then punch Arthur.

“Maybe aim lower and harder, just for me” she playfully begs

Arthur rolls his eyes and you both just laugh as you enjoy a walk around town with your friends and family.

#arthur morgan #mary linton #x friend reader #oneshot #short story #x gender neutral reader #y’all hate on her too much #and for what? #like she was right #you just don’t want to admit it #this is a Mary Linton respect zone #arthur morgan x Mary linton #mentions of Eliza and Issac #funny #angst #fluff #Mary Linton was right #if youre rude than youre blocked #not hate zone #go elsewhere with your negativity #it’s a canon ship so fuck off #she deserved a happy ending too #Arthur x Mary

[honkhonkrichard]

Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil.  If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT:  "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!"  "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR  page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).

#anyways #Stan #stanley uris #Stan uris #mine #Murder Theory #honktheory #thats a tag now I gues ?? #pw #analysis #meta

[procrastinatorimagines]

Evidence

Fandom: Chicago PD / One Chicago

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Warning/s: shooting

Word Count: 1,615

Request:  Hi ! Can you do a jay halstead × reader where jay and y/n are dating secretly but one night jay left a hickey on y/n necks and on the next day y/n try to cover it up before work but can't and the rest of the intelligence team spot it and jay blush but she makes up a story but the intelligence team know and y/n and jay come clean and tell the rest of the team they are together ❤ thank you

All in all, you thought you’d done pretty well, giving your neck one last look in your rearview mirror before turning on the ignition and heading to the 21st. 

Jay had left your place early, neither of you arriving at work at the same time so as to not raise suspicions, so he’d been heading out the door when you’d finally gotten out of bed, already driving away by the time you spotted the hickey on your neck in your bedroom mirror. 

You were not impressed to say the least, what part of a secret relationship had escaped his mind? With an annoyed groan you got to work covering it up the best you could, applying foundation more skillfully than you’d expected as you got ready for work.

There would be time for words later. 

You were still driving in when the call came over the radio, shooting nearby your location with officers in need of backup, one down. Quickly throwing on your lights you expertly did a u-turn and headed back up the street you’d just passed, noticing people running for covering in the opposite direction to where you were going, frightened with their heads down.

It didn’t take long to stop the suspect, mask over his head and gun waving about in his hands as he shot behind him with reckless abandon at the uniformed officer in pursuit. 

Slamming on your brakes you dove out of your vehicle, gun out and ready to engage. “Hey!” You called, diverting his attention from the other officers as his gun swung in your direction, diving behind a nearby car just as the bullets began to fly. 

You poked your head up after a moment, getting off a shot before he realised the odds weren’t in his favour and took off into the garden of the car behind him. Cursing you slid over the bonnet of the car you were behind. 

“I’ll get him, you get your partner!” You told the officer, who nodded gratefully and ran back to his fallen colleague, his led badly bleeding.

“This is 50 21 Foxtrot responding to the 10 1 on West 47th, I’m on the tail of an armed offender fleeing the scene of the shooting making his way South-” you paused, a little breathless as you hopped a fence and quickly dived to the side, narrowly avoiding another bullet as the offender kept running. You gave your most apologetic look to the women screaming in the garden you’d just entered but kept going, you couldn’t stop now - “through the neighbouring gardens, we should be coming out onto West 48th soon.” 

The sound of cars was getting louder as you ran, a tall fence looking like it separated the two of you and the main road as the offender opened for a narrow side path out onto the street. 

You were gaining on him fast as he tried to climb over it, grabbing his coat and pulling him down. His gun fell from his hand and you kicked it away as he scrambled after it, punching him hard in the jaw as he turned back to lash out at you.

“Stay down,” you ordered breathlessly, gun out and aimed square in his direction as the gate opened behind you, back up coming through. “You have the right to remain silent...” you relayed, getting out a pair of cuffs as you read him his rights and passed him off to the unis to bring back to the 21st in their squad car.

And then you were off to work.

-

“Hell of a morning,” Trudy commented as soon as you eventually stepped into the district, pushing her glasses up onto her head as you approached, an eyebrow going up as you reached the desk, “in more than one way I see.”

Your brow creased, “pardon?” You asked, unsure of what she was suggesting with her tone.

“My mistake, you must have got that bruise during the chase,” Trudy said sarcastically, gesturing to her own neck. Your eyes went a little wide, your hand going to where you’d spent way too much of your morning covering up the hickey Jay had given you. 

“Of course,” you hummed unconvincingly, rushing to the bathroom as Trudy laughed. All that effort to cover it up and your sweat had washed it away, hopefully you could cover it up again before anyone wondered why you weren’t upstairs yet.

Barging into the bathroom you riffled through your bag for the foundation you’d brought, just in case you’d needed to touch it up throughout the day, but in all the excitement of the morning you’d forgotten all about it. Oops.

You were putting the finishing touches on covering it up when the door swung open again, too late to hide what you were doing as you found yourself face to face with Burgess. 

“Voight’s looking for you upstairs,” she relayed, clearly amused as you hurriedly shoved your things back into your bag, embarrassed at being caught red-handed. 

You were going to kill Jay.

She didn’t say anything on the walk up the stairs, but you avoid her eye guiltily as she buzzed you both up and you made your way to the bull pen.

“Took you long enough,” Adam commented when you both emerged, a coffee in his hand as he leaned against the breakroom door. 

“Yeah, sorry, Y/N was busy covering up a hickey in the bathroom,” Burgess replied non-chalantly, much to your emence embarrassment. Kev snorted out a laugh and Jay choked on his drink as you tried not to meet his eye. 

“Was she now?” Hailey laughed, the others clearly enjoying how flustered you were getting. 

“I er- no- it was during the call this morning-” you tried and failed to sound believable as the others laughed more, Adam being the first to notice how red Jay had gotten since the converation began.

“No one’s buying that Y/N,” Kim informed you as Adam clapped Jay on the shoulder. 

“Well that’s interesting,” he commented, watching the way Jay awkwardly cleared his throat, not daring to look at you. The others picked up on it too, the both of you looking very guilty in a room full of trained detectives. 

“Got something to share there Halstead?” Kev asked, Jay finally looking at you with apology in his eyes as he finally saw the pourly applied foundation covering the very visible hickey he’d left.

You both hesitated before answering - was there really any use hiding it anymore? A room full of your closest friends who also happened to be detectives weren’t exactly going to drop the subject, or believe whateve bs you gave them in the moment.

Sharing a mutual resigned nod Jay rubbed the back of his neck, sitting up straighter in his chair. “Okay, well, we’ve kind of...”

“...being seeing each other,” you finished for him, realising he was unsure how to put into words exactly what you’d both been doing. If you were honest, you didn’t know exactly what this was either, you hadn’t discussed labels, but you both had feelings for each other, that much you knew for sure. 

“For how long?” Hailey asked, looking at her partner with slightly narrowed eyes, wondering how long he’d been keeping this from her more than anything.

“A couple months,” Jay said, glancing back up at you with a little smile.

“Months?” Adam was shocked you’d both managed to keep this a secret from them for so long, “and this is the first we’re hearing about it?”

“Well, we didn’t want to get our wires crossed,” you shrugged, gesturing to try and get your point across, “we work together.” That had been one of the first things you’d talked about the first time you’d spent the night together, keeping your personal and professional lives as separate as you could. 

“Yes, you do,” you heard your Sergeant say, jumping as Voight emerged from his office, leaning against the door frame with his arms folded. Uh-oh. “Is this going to get in the way of doing your job?”

You swallowed and shook your head, “no, sir.”

“We’re good Sarge,” Jay said at the same time.

All the teasing and joking smiles from the unit had vanished, waiting for Voight’s reaction with bated breath as he mulled it over in his head. 

“Good,” he nodded, much to your relief, though you knew the conversation was far from over, “because we’ve got a case to get back to.”

He was right, this was work, there’d be time to think and talk about this more later - right now you had a dead city official and a cop in the hospital.

Burgess winked at you as you made your way to your desk, picking up a scrunched up piece of paper you had lying around and throwing at her once Voight’s back is turned. He paused, shaking his head, but didn’t turn back around as he went back to his desk. 

You rolled your eyes at her and settled into your chair, knowing you had a report to write up about this morning’s incident, your perp down in holding at that very moment. 

Still, you couldn’t help but look over at Jay, who was looking right back at you, offering you a small smile which you returned in kind. Voight wasn’t the only one who’d want to finish this conversation later, you and Jay had a lot to talk about now too, given that everything was out in the open. 

Still, as you turned back to your desk and tried to focus on the task at hand, you couldn’t help but feel like everything was going to turn out okay.

#jay halstead #chicago pd #one chicago #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #chicago pd imagine #one chicago imagine #jay halstead imagines #chicago pd imagines #one chicago imagines #jay halstead one shot #chicago pd one shot #one chicago one shot #one shot

[honeybunnybeez]

If you are still doing the alphabet thing can I please get a c!quackity? It's okay if not, dont worry!

SFW alphabet:

C!Quackity

♡Reader is Gender Neutral!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Lord we know this man is quite the flirt in some way. He's pretty affectionate with you in front of others and almost has little shame with it.

In public, he likes to hold hands or put his arms around your shoulder or waist, depending on how tall you are compared to him.

In private he's pretty playful, calling out your name out of nowhere only to tackle with you a hug and kiss you. He totally keeps you on your toes when at home.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He's a very teasing best friend, constantly joking around with you. Also the best friend people think you're dating before you actually date because of how affectionate he is with you.

You two probably became friends during the presedential election and remained friends since you decided to oppose Schlatt with him and Tubbo.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

My man likes to properly cuddle with you whenever you two have some quiet time alone. His favourite way to cuddle you is by laying on top of you while you stroke his hair or wings.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I would think that he would, most likely after being satisfied with whatever he plans on doing in the server.

Oh my god but he would be so bad at doing chores with you. Washing dishes? Yeah- that's gonna be a 1 hour ordeal as you two have a water fight. Cooking? Food fight. Sweeping around the house? Broom fight- you two keep telling yourself you won't do it again but you do-

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

(Me, having a minor flashback to when he told Eret he didn't like him at all) OKAY- So, depends heavily on the situation. It could either go smooth or just break both your hearts.

If it was just the relationship not feeling natural, he would break it off to you the nicest way he can and would still really wanna be friends with you. He can't cause chaos without his buddy after all.

Oh but if it was because of something bad either one of you did, he would definitely say things he doesn't mean. Things that would break both your hearts. Yeah, it would take a while to ever mend your relationship if that was the outcome.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He has like 2 freaking fiances and 1 (or 2?) ex(es?). (Karlnapity sfw alphabet soon? Maybe-) He's down to get engaged with you for sure.

Okay but he seems to like getting engaged really quickly too- So you'll have to tell him straight up that you need to see where this goes with him. Maybe give like a time period of 6 months or more to see if you two could really live being each others for the rest of you lives.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Emotionally, he is a little rough. He forgets his limits at times and will sometimes say hurtful things to you by accident in the heat of the moment. He'll apologize profusely though when he catches his mistake and sees the way your eyes stare at him with such hurt. He tells you he doesn't mean it and he truly doesn't, he'll feel guilty until you forgive him.

Physically, he is pretty gentle save for his few tackle hugs and kisses. He just loves you a lot and sometimes can't contain it well.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs if it's you giving them. He needs to get a hug from you everyday and if he doesn't he gets super whiny and will even whine in his 'auto tune' voice until he gets them. He likes to hug you from behind, and sometimes his wings cover the both of you as he asks you, "Guess who this iiis!"

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

The first time he ever genuinely said I love you was when you had to help him clean his wings after a bad fall of his. He had never let anyone close to them before and so him thinking he could trust you not to hurt him was something that made him realize that he truly did love you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He's not a very jealous person, being a very affectionate and handsy person himself, but if you and him don't hang out with one another as often as you used to he starts to whine for your attention until he gets it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are very hyper and almost silly.

He likes to kiss your whole face, planting them in quick succession everywhere to make you laugh.

He likes when you give him long kisses on the lips. Especially if it's during a calm moment. It makes his heart flutter.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh he can definitely hang with kids and in return kids love him and his chaotic childish nature too, but he doesn't plan on having any of his own, at least not early on in your relationship. He'll have to think about that for a while.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are the only time you can find him calm, you usually wake up earlier than he does and he always looks so peaceful while he lays on your chest with his wings laid out like a second blanket.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are filled with mindless chatter between the two of you. Rarely do you guys ever remember what nonsense you two were on about before bedtime. All you remembered is shared goodnight kisses and cuddles.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Oh, after all the stuff he's been through he doesn't trust anyone easily anymore. It will take him quite a while to fully open up to you about all the negative things he feels or thinks about. Just take things slow with him and don't push him to say what he doesn't want to, that already wins you his favour.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Okay this seems like a wild card not gonna lie. I feel like if it involves his plan to gain power in the server and you're against the idea he has he gets very frustrated. You'll have to be quick and tell him that you say that because you're concerned about him and his safety.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Besides dates, his memory is a little hard for me to describe. He remembers a good amount of things about you but things you mention in passing are forgotten until you bring it up or until he sees something that suddenly reminds you of it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It was when you properly sat down with him and preened his wings one day when he was way too tired to do it himself. The feelings of your fingers through his wings were like absolute heaven and he forgot how good it felt to have someone do it for you. Safe to say, he got pretty addicted to you doing it to him after this event.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Although he may seem outgoing and like he doesn't care much, he is rather protective of you, making sure you don't accidentally communicate with anyone he isn't fond of.

He would protect you by warning you of others, telling you who is safe to turn to and who isn't safe to turn to. He even tells those he can somewhat rely on to make sure you're protected when he's away. If worse comes to worse he'll protect you physically as well.

He needs you to protect him mentally and emotionally. He feels like everyone he trusts eventually betrays him and he can't have that with you. He needs reassurance that you won't leave him like the others would or do.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He would put in a bit of effort to make it special but not a whole lot, he wants it to be fun but natural too. Though you can always gurantee that he'll serenade you during your dates or anniversaries, the music he plays for you is silly sure but they're also super heartfelt with effort put into it.

In everyday tasks he isn't very helpful, running off to cause chaos more often than not but if you do need help he'll always be there to lend a hand. He often times fetches (or steals) things you need too.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He doesn't know when to quit when it comes to wanting to take over the server. While you know how he truly is, it unsettles you a bit how he's able to manipulate others at times. You totally gave him an earful when he went to fight Technoblade because you knew, as much as you loved your boyfriend, that no one would actually be able to kill Technoblade that easily.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Schlatt made him feel very insecure about himself and even though he knows thay bastard is full of shit and burning in hell, he can't help but feel disgusting at times. Hug him and tell him that he's very handsome and adorable the way he is and that Schlatt shouldn't be talking when he looks like a wine mom on her last line.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would feel so lost without, having no support would make him act even more irrational and could also get him killed pretty quickly. You're his voice of reason to a certain extent.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I've written this before but he likes to make nests out of your pillows, sheets and clothes. The mood strikes him at times and you two will just spend the whole day chilling in his little nest while you preen and baby him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't want someone who leaves him when the situation turns sour, he doesn't want a partner who would leave him behind easily. Most importantly though and as unhealthy as this is, he most likely doesn't want a partner who wishes to have more power than him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He sleep talks and mumbles and that's fine and all but he sometimes he accidentally switches to his 'auto tune' voice and it scares the shit out of you if it's in deep or demonic mode.

A/N: Oh my lord I finally managed to post a c!quackity related thing-! Thank you so much anons for your patience and I hope you all enjoy this! I'm so sorry if this isn't very fluffy but I wanted to mix in a little canon compliance in it too for future angst projects. He was a really interesting character for me to re-study again!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt headcanons #dream smp x reader #dream smp imagine #dream smp headcannon #c!/quackity

[watery-lane]

Words into Smoke

The Night You Cared Sequel.

Pairing: Modern!Ivar Lothbrok x Reader

Summary: As a part of his therapy, Ivar writes letters to unwind and keep track of his mental health progress. He writes to his mom, he misses her. He writes to Sigurd, sometimes he regrets his departure. One night, he writes about her.

Warnings: Angst

Words: 3864

A/N: (3/5/20) I had this idea in my head that I simply could not let go. 

(10/4/21) P.S: Can’t promise I’m back, but I’m definitely turning to writing as a way of winding down. I hope you guys are alright.

Part I / Part II / Epilogue

Some nights, while the city sleeps, Ivar stays awake. Like an owl looking for a prey, the Ragnarsson remains seated upright at the edge of his bed, his now heavily tattooed chest exposed to the world through the panoramic window, heaving. Beating.

Some nights were amazing. He got his drivers license, and Freydis got him an adapted Bentley as a gift. He would spend the nights driving by himself down the empty streets of Kattegat, not worrying about speeding tickets or angry neighbours. 

Not so long ago, he learned his wife was finally carrying a child, her round belly reminding him that he had a legacy to keep, now that the Lothbrok dynasty seemed to be more fragmented than ever. After spending thousands of krone on in vitro fertilisation, the universe seemed to work in his favour. Their favour. If the gods were unwilling to bless them two, science would. These were the nights that were made for celebrations, champaign showers and water for the mother to be.

Some nights were alright. Ivar would come back after a long day of meetings and getting his ass kissed, to find Freydis immersed in her little personal projects. He would tell Erik to pick up some takeaway while he washed away the power and wrapped himself in mundane clothes. He would eat in silence, elbows propped on the counter and eyes on the horizon, watching the sun kiss the skyscrapers goodbye as he mindlessly put food in his mouth. Then he would take his new baby for a ride, to the bar he now owned with his brother Hvitserk. 

Ivar would go there, check the inventory and the register, ask the employees how everything was going and what could he do for them. Sometimes he would also find Hvitserk at the bar, practicing the cocktail skills he had been mastering since he took over your share of the bar. Ivar would simply walk past, not entirely avoiding making contact with his sibling but prefering to keep a healthy distance from the person that substituted you. He started visiting the local more often after you left, feeling the responsibility to continue what you started. He found peace in the simplicity of managing a bar: at the office, he was a tyrannic boss, voice always booming through the walls, keeping both employees and investors in check. At the bar, he was just the young lovestruck Ivar he once was. He understood then, why you wished to escape from it all. You are just a memory now, but sometimes he still feels you around, checking on the girls, checking on him.

Some nights were... Painful. Therapy had a big presence in his life. He no longer needed a cane thanks to nurse Hansen, his physical therapist. But on some days, the stress and the weather would simply take a toll on his legs, forcing him to carry around that metal stick that reminded him that he was, in fact, human. 

Before you left, Freydis figured out a question that would calm Ivar down and make him focus: “What would Dr. Nielsen tell you to do?”. That was how she got him to control himself and open up the last time he was onstage, the night she met you. They were just engaged back then. Oh, how quick did time pass. Ivar no longer organised events like that. He was too consumed by his two jobs. There were nights where Freydis would be on business trips, or out hanging out with friends until the next morning, nights where absences were felt more than presences. But he was coping now. Dr. Nielsen helped the youngest Lothbrok greatly since his great breakdown. 

Ivar had thought he physically felt his heart break the night he got down the stage to find you, only to figure out you were gone after most of the guests had left the hotel ballroom. He felt compelled to call you dozens of times to ask for an explanation. After his calls went unanswered, he decided to drive around town in search of you, not knowing where to start, not knowing where to ask, anger poisoning his brain and taking over his actions. That night he stayed at Loki’s after barging in to see if you were hiding there like “the coward you were”. He hated the fact that you could make him feel that weak. It felt like he was putty and Freydis was fire, hardening him the more he was exposed to her. You were water, turning him into a pliable being, at mercy of your actions.

For five days in a row, he found himself staying at his office until late at night, observing his office telephone with attention and indecision, silently praying for you to pick up the phone, practicing the rage filled words he was about to rain down on you the moment you uttered a response. He prayed with ill intentions, but he prayed nonetheless. It was his last resort. 

The earth seemed to crack open and swallow him whole the moment he gathered all his courage and dialed your number, only to hear an automated voice telling him that the number no longer existed. He sat there, phone on his hand as a white noise took over the voice message, thinking about the different possibilities that could have happened for you to cancel your line. Maybe, he thought. Maybe I really asked for too much this time. 

“Fuck no,” Ivar reflected out loud as he tossed his phone away, “In no fucking way this is my fault.”

“Ivar?” A distant voice reverberated through the glass corridors. It sounded familiar. The youngest Ragnarsson frowned, weirded out by the fact that one of his brothers was still in the office this late.

It wasn’t just one of his brothers, but the three of them.

“Freydis called us asking where you were. You’ve been out late at night for many days in a row, she literally just confronted each one of us asking whether you were having an affair.” Hvitserk said, arms crossed as he leaned on the door frame. “That woman nearly dragged each one of us out to look for you.” Ivar pursed his lips, outraged by such accusations from his then fiancée.

“Well, tell her I’d never do such thing.” He answered, swatting his hand in annoyance. “I am surprised she came to that conclusion, knowing how busy I always am as the bloody CEO!” He exclaimed, letting the following silence fill the room as he flashed a disdainful look towards his brothers.

“Why are you here, brother?” Ubbe finally dared to ask, observing his youngest sibling sway in his chair from side to side.

Ivar looked up for a brief moment, like a puppy who lost his favourite toy, and decided to tell them the whole story. That the had the hunch you were back from a strange event where someone knocked on his penthouse door. To that, Ubbe awkwardly shifted in his place, still listening intently. Ivar explained that he sent you an invite to his inaguration gala and how he asked you to stay for his speech so you could have a dance afterwards, unaware of the utterly personal turn his speech would take just because an old man decided to drink a bit more than usual that night. How he waited for you, called you and looked for you tirelessly, frustration filling his voice as he talked about how you had been avoiding him for a week now, changing your phone number in the process.

“If she thinks she can avoid me by changing numbers she’s dead wrong. We’re business partners, for fucks sake!” He complained, registering the situation as a burden. “I’ll find her new phone sooner or later.”

Unbeknownst Ivar, tension had been gradually building up as he spoke, his three brothers standing still in their places, not knowing how to break the news. Sure they knew this day would come, but none of the three expected to be trapped with the ticking bomb. It was way too soon. Too recent. 

Hell, it was about you. It was most likely no amount of time would soften the blow.

Ubbe took a step forward, leaning on the hardwood desk. With a resigned tone, he mumbled:

“She’s gone, Ivar.” He swallowed. “(Y/n) left Kattegat.”

Already motionless before, Ivar remained still. He darted his eyes to look at his brother, confusion and fear brewing within him, fueling a fire he thought it was extinguished the day he made Sigurd leave. With trembling lips but a determined voice, he asked how did he know. How did Ubbe Ragnarsson, the brother who would stab his youngest sibling in the back at the slightest opportunity, know the whereabouts of his woman, while he sat there completely lost, disoriented.

With an attempt of a soothing voice, Ubbe confessed that months ago he offered you a job position to work on a humanitarian project he had running in Haiti. Aslaug had stated in her will that she wished to expand the non-profit organisation she created to other countries and Ubbe decided to make his deceased mother’s wish come true. He told Ivar that while you rejected the offer at first, you ended up accepting it the night of his gala. That you made him promise to make the process fast and discreet, and that, while you insisted on paying for the plane tickets, Lothbrok Inc. paid for your travel expenses and necessities. You left three days ago, unnanounced, with only Ubbe at the airport to bid you farewell.

Hvitserk, who remained silent all this time, let him know that you were no longer the owner of the bar you opened together. At that, Ivar panicked, his eyes wide open as he snapped his head towards his older brother. You simply signed a transfer contract, with Ubbe as the witness and five krone as the contingency, stating that you were returning the property to Lothbrok Inc., thus paying your debt to the family and releasing yourself from any ties to Ivar. He tried to soften the blow, letting him know that he didn’t know you gave him your share because you were leaving. He thought it was a rash decision that stemmed from seeing Ivar with a fiancée, that you’d come back and take back the business when you were ready. He promised he’d take care of the bar as well as you took care of it, that nothing would change under his management.

Ivar listened intently, motionless. His breathing was deep, yet steady. He never moved a muscle voluntarily, but his nostrils flared with every breath and his hand, hidden under the desk, shook incontrollably as he processed their words. His piercing gaze was focused on the oldest Aslaugsson, who was now relaxing and straightening his back as he regained his composure.

It felt like every action happened in slow motion, yet the blow came fast. In mere seconds, Ivar had propped himself forward from the chair, one of his hands grabbing the jacket Ubbe was wearing while the other, contracted in a fist, made contact with his right cheek. That is when Bjorn, who had been silent during the whole exchange, stepped in, grabbing the torso of his youngest brother as he struggled to keep himself standing, making sure he didn’t hurt himself.

Sometimes, Ivar still hears his own screams.

“YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!” Ivar accused, eyes absent of tears but voice cracking at the end of the sentence. “SHEWAS GOING TO STAY,” He roared, fists swinging towards his brother’s face. “AND YOU FUCKING TOOK HER FROM ME!”

He lost it that night. The screams he released came from the depths of his sorrow, his eyes only registering red while all his nerves could only feel the desperation taking over his soul. Ivar kept trying to reach Ubbe, unaware of how he repeatedly banged his legs against the desk as Bjorn tried to pin him down. 

But what started as a justified outburst gradually led to nonsensical, rage-filled accusations.

“You wanted to fuck her, didn’t you? You wanted her and you couldn’t stand the fact that she chose ME!” Ivar recriminated, grabbing a sharp glass ornament and throwing it to his brother. Ubbe pursed his lips, dodging the improvised weapon. “You did this to get back at me, hmm? YOU WANT ALL I HAVE, DON’T YOU?” He seethed, eyes and mouth wide open, exposing his teeth like a menacing predator as he let out a guttural laugh.

Bjorn was having a difficult time restraining him. Years relying on his upper body strength gave Ivar the advantage of resilience amongst his biggest sibling, while Bjorn struggled to keep him in place. Ivar managed to grab the second glass ornament, throwing it as he shrieked.

“DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” his voice boomed in the room, palm pounding his chest as his free hand signaled the whole place. “YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME, I AM IVAR LOTHBROK! YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!” Ivar kept shouting, cursing as he spat towards Ubbe.

Hvitserk stepped forward, having seen enough, ready to take on his little brother. To his surprise, Ubbe halted him, his arm creating a barrier between Hvitserk and Ivar as he observed with intent and horror etched on his face.

That night, Ivar lost the little progress he made. He broke his femur, dignity left behind as an ambulance carried him to the emergency room.

As if that wasn’t enough, he lost another family member to Lagertha that night.

With a reedy voice as he laid down in the hospital bed, he asked Ubbe one thing:

“Bring her back.” He whispered, his eyes stuck in the ceiling, pretty certain that if he laid his eyes on his brother, he would kill him. “She is working for Lothbrok Inc. now. Bring her back.” His request was met with silence. “That’s an order.” He swallowed, nostrils flaring with each ticking second.

“I’m sorry, Ivar.” Ubbe mumbled. “The Sigurðdóttir Trust is out of your reach.” He reminded him, reopening a wound that Ivar closed not so long ago. “That’s what mother wished.” Ivar snapped his head at the mention of his beloved mother. The brim of his eyes were red like his sclera, a menacing gaze stabbing his brother as Ivar grabbed his wrist.

“You have three days to gather your stuff and leave Lothbrok Inc.” Ivar seethed as he moved his face closer to his brother. “If you’re not gone after that, I will make sure you’ll leave the premises crawling like I crawled as a child.” Ivar swore, releasing his wrist as he let his head drop back to the sterile pillow.

Up to this day, Ivar still saw Ubbe’s action as a huge betrayal. He knew his older brother would return to his life as the new addition of Lagertha’s legal team, Bjorn granted his little brother this little backup plan.

Tonight, his thoughts weighted a little heavier. His eyes scanned the city before focusing on his bedroom, where he finds the clothes he wore today discarded on the leather chair. Behind him, his wife slept peacefully, her baby bumb protuding more and more each passing day. His legs were alright, but with the absence of physical pain he could sense his yearning looming over his head.

Ivar sighs and stands up silently, his bare feet and metallic support dragging on the tiles as he moved to his home office.

Dr. Nielsen taught him the importance of adapted emotional releases. She actively discouraged Ivar from indulging in his impulses and told him to write them down instead. For business meetings, Ivar was told to count until 10, 20 or even 30 if he was encountered with bad news. When it came to personal affairs, Dr. Nielsen told him to write letters addressed to the pertinent subject. Ivar could write them and discard them, write them and take them to therapy or he could write them and send them to the addressee. 

It wasn’t the most effective exercise, but it kept his flame at bay. He needed to learn to do that, now that he knew he had a little one coming soon.

Sometimes he wrote to his mother, asking her questions about ruling an empire he wished he had the answer to. Those he kept, as a tool to reflect later on when his ambition peaked. The more emotional ones he’d take to Dr. Nielsen, a proof of his progress on his journey to... normalcy. The ones he wrote to Sigurd, those he threw away. In those pages filled with guilt and rage, he found himself cornered in a bleak past that seemed to refuse to let him go.

Tonight, he thought about you.

It wasn’t like you weren’t a constant presence in his mind, like an annoying tenant in his brain that refused to leave or pay rent. Ivar just chose to remember the best parts of you, those who could be found at the bar you owned, or on his bed when Freydis left him for the night. If he kept you alive that way, he would also keep alive that part of him he thought he lost. You were inevitable, like the pain after a blow or the kiss after a reencounter.

He wishes he could blame you. For leaving, for stepping outside the gala without waiting for your dance. For silently giving away your shares to Hvitserk, who the only thing he knew about bars was how to empty the alcohol pantry. But there is a part of him that cannot physically repulse you.

Ivar sits down and turns on the desk lamp in front of him. He finds his precious pen and puts a piece of paper on the desk. Before starting, he hesitates.

Dear (Y/n),

He groans, crossing the two words with disdain.

Hello.

“Hello?” Ivar shakes his head, crossing the word again.

Hi, princess.

Ivar cringes. No.

Frustrated, he discards the paper. He had done it before. Why was it so hard to do it all over again now?

Just... Jump right in. Start from the beginning, start from the middle, start from the end if you prefer. He recalls the advice of his therapist. Sometimes, formalities are overrated. It may help when you have nothing to say, but it becomes a burden when you got too much to say. Ivar reflected. 

And so he did.

Every night I drive through the streets of Kattegat I find myself looking for you wandering around, looking for me to give you a lift, for the memory of our first reencounters were the ones that helped us find redemption.

It is weird, but I still have the need to find you even though I know you are no longer here. The idea of you lives in my head, that I am sure of. The feel of you, that is what I miss.

I guess part of me feels like I still need to apologise for something that I’ve done.

At the sight of his words written on paper, Ivar blinks. He never consciously thought much more ahead of his negations, his feelings dictating the perspectives he kept imposing to his reality.

He sacrificed so much for you. He tried to change for you. He went to therapy, he learned to walk. Ivar tried to become the right man for you, he really tried. 

He wished you were there to see it.

Ivar doesn’t really know what he did wrong. All he knows is...

And now that you’re gone for good, 

He shakes his head, crossing the last two words.

all I wish for is to be in the wrong this time.

Ivar huffs in frustration.

I wish I had been selfish, I wish I was the old Ivar. I wish I had begged you to stay, to manage this empire I never chos- by my side.

I know you would have never wanted this.

But I know you would have never said no to us.

Mindlessly, Ivar puts his pen in his mouth, a subconscious tick he developped not-so recently. Passing his hands through his hair, he sighed.

I started to smoke. He confessed. I know you never liked the smell, how it clings to my clothes, my mouth, how it lingered around the house when my brothers decided to have one one in their rooms. Ivar snorts at the memory. Not that you’re here to tell me off. 

Freydis has been buying candles, they’re all around the house now. The smell of the cigarettes blends with the essences and I technically get to have fire dispensers in every single room.

“Maybe I’m waiting for you to magically show up and tell me to fuck off.” He whispers.

Suddenly, Ivar shakes his head, as if the physical gesture cleared his mind.

I guess I’ll have to stop soon, I have a baby on the way. He releases an airy laugh as he re-reads what he just wrote. Who would have thought, (Y/n)? A baby. Me. Your Ivar.

The young Ragnarsson lets out a tired sigh, strenghening his grip on the metalling pen as he mindlessly tapped on the crystal desk. With resigned resolution, he decides to write his last lines, telling himself that he is finally starting to accept reality.

I know you’re not going to come back. Not to the place we grew up at, at least.

If you ever do, I just want to let you know, as sappy as it may sound, that my heart will always be open for you, even when my arms are not.

I miss you.

I miss us.

Take care,

Ivar.

Dropping the pen, Ivar stares at his letter. His hands blindly search for an envelope, a frown etched on his face until his fingertips brush against the soft surface of the letter. You don’t know, but he found your new address. He searched around Ubbe’s old files.

With a careful manner, Ivar writes down your address on the envelope. 

He stands up, walks to his living room and grabs a jacket as he makes his way to the exit.

All of the sudden he stops right on his tracks, his free hand almost reaching to the door handle. Freydis seemed to have forgotten to put out a lone candle, a tiny fragrance dispenser resting on the entrance drawer.

Ivar may not be aware of a lot of things in life, but one thing he was certain of: smoke traveled faster than mail.

His hand was trembling slightly, but it managed to follow his instructions. With a swift move, Ivar positioned the ephemeral piece of paper on the fire, watching intently how the flames consumed his words and took them to you. Discreetly, he threw the burning letter in the empty bin, the lid cutting short the trail of smoke escaping from the container.

He makes sure ashes are all what it remains from his indecent confession and makes his way back to the bedroom. Slowly but steadily, Ivar returns to bed, nesting himself between the sheets before holding his beloved wife in his embrace.

Tonight, he was human. Tomorrow, he’ll have to be a God.

The end.

Taglist:

Note: This is the old taglist I have noted from my past Ivar ficts. Please let me know if you want to be removed or added by sending an ask here. 

@aesstheticallypleasing @captstefanbrandt @unicornbaby741 @fuckthatfeeling @huffelpuffers @yannii04  @collecting-stories @timber3 @darkwolfpeanutskeleton @vampsclassiffied @lenafarn @yourpurplequeen​@youbloodymadgenius​ @lettersofwrittencollective​ 

#ivar x reader #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar lothbrok x reader #ivar ragnarsson x reader #ivar/reader #ivar the boneless/reader #ivar ragnarsson/reader #ivar imagine #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar lothbrok imagine #ivar lothbrok/reader #Ivar One shot #ivar the boneless one shot #ivar lothbrok one shot #ivar ragnarsson one shot #ivar ragnarsson imagine

[sweetiejunie]

It’s Because I Love you

Summary: Soobin dug himself into a hole and needed his bestfriend to help him out

Genre: Fluff, Friends-to-lovers, Slow-burn(ish)

Word count: ~10k (oops sry)

💕 Requested 

A/n: to the anon that requested this. I’m so sorry this took me forever... haha~ I hope you liked it! And writing this actually reminded how much i like writing these. Do you guys prefer these kind of longer fics or the shorter reaction type fics?

Warnings: Some swearing

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      “Y/n i fucked up.”

      Was first line that came out of soobin’s mouth when you opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for soobin to randomly show up at your place. But you really weren’t expecting his presence today, since you knew he would be busy packing to head home for the week break. You were about to greet him but before you could say anything, he beat you to it, his sentence laced with regret and panic.        “What did you do this time?” You answered, “aren’t you supposed to be packing?”        “I- excuse you what do you mean ‘this time’?” He mocked. “Okay, whatever, we’ll get back to that and yeah, i am, but I fucked up real bad,” he repeated.        “Huh?” You took a step back so soobin could enter. “Are you alright? What happened?”       “So you know how all my cousins and sibling are in a relationship right?” Soobin continued, making his way to your couch to sit down. Resting his head back against the cushions as he groaned.       “Yeah, what about it?” Tilting your head as the conversation got more confusing by the second. You closed the door behind you before joining him.        “Well... my brother just called me and may have been bothering me about being the only one that isn’t in a relationship...” he trailed off, “and erm, i may have said i... had a girlfriend. And now my family wants met her.”        You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his confession, “you did what? You really dug yourself into a hole this time.”        Soobin was the youngest of his family. He was always the one that chose to focus more on his grades than actually making friends. Sure, he went to parties and drank every now and then, but other than that, he rarely did anything short of the ‘perfect son’. But despite all his efforts, there was always one thing his sibling could tease him about, and that was the fact that he was 21 and has never been in a relationship. Soobin always tried to not let this bother him, but i guess today, he just snapped.        “I really did,” he sighed. “That’s why i need your help.”        “How can i possibly help you out of this, soobin?” you ridiculed, glaring at him. “You do know that you’re one of my only friends, right? Meaning, I won’t be able to find anyone to play girlfriend with you.”         “Um, actually about that... i kind of told my family that my girlfriend goes to the same school as me and studies the same major as me. I also kind of told them that she has y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair.” He sat up, looking for a reaction from you. Instead, all he saw was your blank expression, staring back at him. “Yeah so, if you hadn’t caught on yet, i might have, sort of, just described you to my family.”         Your eyes widened at his statement, you weren’t sure what to reply. You met soobin all the way back in high school, and you’ve stayed friends ever since — 5 years, 11 months, 23 days, to be exact. Not that you were keeping count or anything. You remember the first day you approached the shy boy, the new transfer student sitting at the back alone. He was the first friend you made there. And to makes things worse, you’ve had a crush on him, but you knew better than to confess and possibly ruin the friendship.         You’ve suppressed all your feeling since then. Maybe. Probably. Okay, no. But you’ve tried. And all this talk of ‘pretend girlfriend’ did nothing but make your heart start racing again.        “Why on earth would you do that!”        “I dont know! You were the first person that came to mind! So are you okay with doing me the favour of playing the role of my girlfriend?” Soobin said with a slight pout and puppy dog eyes. A move he knew you could never refuse, “You’re free this break, right?”        His sudden confession was like a blow to your heart. The first person that came to his mind... but it’s probably just because he didnt have many female friends, right?        “Erm...” you paused. The more you thought about his proposition, the more you found yourself weighing the consequences.        “Come on y/n. Please? We already get engaged every other week at clubs for free drinks. This won’t be that much different.”        “Would your family believe it? I mean, it’s me.”        “Sure they will. And it’ll be easy to fake it since you already know me.”        You paused for another second before replying. “Hm, right. Fine. But you owe me. Do i have to bring anything?” You were helping out a friend.         A friend. Nothing more, nothing less.        “Nope, just bring enough clothes. You don’t need anything too fancy,” he stood up, leaning down to give you a quick hug. As he walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder before leaving your apartment. “Thanks for doing this, i really owe you. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow after our classes, alright? See you then.”

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        After an hour, three outfit changes and completely unpacking and repacking your luggage twice, you were finally satisfied and ready to go. It was only a weeks worth of clothes in a small luggage, yet, you still found a way to overthink it. In the end, you had settled for a simple tee with jeans and a coat to keep you warm for the ride.         Already, you were beginning to regret your decision of going along with this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ act. It had nothing to do with soobin or his family. They were absolutely wonderful, his parents were kind, his siblings were fun and sweet and his baby nephew was, well, a baby. The only problem was what if your heart liked the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ just a little bit too much?         You had met his siblings and parents a handful of times when they visited him at his apartment. They’ve always been nothing but nice to you, and now, you were going to have to lie to them. The more you thought about it, the more your mind was playing angel and devil with you. On one hand, you didn’t want to spend the weekend being dishonest and possibly screwing up the image soobin’s family had of you. But on the other, you wanted to be selfish and be able to call soobin yours, even if it were just for a few days.         You sighed quietly, sitting in your living room waiting for soobin to pick you up like he said he would. The entire day you had been unable to focus in your classes, whatever your lectures said just going right through your head. At this time on fridays, you would normally have found soobin dressed in any lounge wear he had, crashing at your place to watch whatever movie he found that week. But now, you were going to find him dressed up, ready to bring you to meet his parents. The relationship sure escalated quickly. Just as your mind started drifting further, your doorbell rang.        “U ready?” Soobin’s signature eye smile greeted you, his front bunny teeth exposed. You’ve always noticed how soobin’s appearance resembled that of a bunny, but no matter how many times you tried to tell him, he didn’t want to believe it.        “As ready as ill ever be,” you returned the smile, grabbing your luggage and locking your front door.        Well, this was it, no turning back now. Helping you with your things, soobin lead you to his car and started the journey. It was only about a 3 hour drive and a car ride proved to be a great distraction. You hadn’t been to soobins hometown before, so being able to look out the window and see the scenery was no doubt better than sneaking glances at soobin in the drivers seat. You just knew that if you saw soobin, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other propped on the arm rest, you might have gone into cardiac arrest.        The ride was quiet for the most part, that was until soobin pulled up at a red light. “I made a playlist,” soobin flipped his phone around to show you and connect it to his car. “It’s like, if you were my real girlfriend, this would be the playlist i would share with you.”        You couldn’t help but smile when you realised how sweet soobin would be in an actual relationship. His future girlfriend is really lucky. But you had to control yourself, reminding yourself that it’s all just pretend for the week.        “I’m sure its great. You have great taste in music,” you faked a laugh. “Um... so... soobin? How exactly are we supposed to fake this? I mean, what we supposed to do? What will your family do?”        “Oh...” he started, his eyes focusing back on the road, the lights turning green again. “To be honest, i haven’t actually thought about that part yet.” Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought. “Mmm, when my brother first brought his girlfriend home, my family teased him a lot, just to make fun of him and get her reaction. But they already did that with you whenever they visited me so... I’m not sure what they’ll do, honestly.”        “Oh...” That was completely unhelpful. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continued staring blankly out the window.        “Hey, don’t worry too much okay? We’ll just wing it like we do everything else. And that’s worked out for us so far, right?” Soobin chuckled, trying to comfort you. “As for what we need to do. I guess it’ll just be all that couple stuff like holding hands and hugging. And you’re already such a cuddly person, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. We got this, alright? And I’ll be with you the entire time.”        You nod a response, “yeah, we got this.”        On the outside, you tried to seem cool and composed. On the inside however, you were a mess. Sure, you and soobin already had your fair share of cuddles when he showed up for a movie night at your place. And on the days he was too lazy to go back to his dorm, you would find him whining and groaning for you to make him breakfast the next day. But now you were expected to act that way in front of his family? That was a whole new level of stress you didn’t think about when you agreed to this.         After a while more of driving, it was a little over 10pm when soobin finally pulled up alongside the curd in front of his house. The remainder of the car ride had been relatively silent, except for the playlist that soobin had made for you, and the occasional mindless singing you would start that turned into a carpool karaoke. Getting off, soobin unloaded his and your luggage and lead you to the front door.        Probably noticing your nervous state, soobin grabbed your shaking hands. “I’m right here alright?” He smiled, “it’s show time.”        With that, he rang the doorbell. And not 15 seconds later, soobin’s sister answered the door.        “Soobin!” She greeted, pulling him into a hug, “we’ve been waiting for you and- oh! Y/n! I knew it. Same major, y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair. If it wasn’t you, i was about to kick his ass.”        “Hah, yeah, surprise?” You said, the last part sounding more like a question than a sentence.        “Aish, this boy. The previous night on the call, he just told us he’ll be bringing his girlfriend home, gave us a description but never told us who. Left us all to wonder who she was and well,” she chuckled, putting an arm around soobin’s shoulders, “if she even existed. I’m glad it’s you, the first time we met you, i already knew you two would end up together.”        “Wait, so you all took guesses on who it was?” Soobin chimed in, shooting a glare at his sister.        “Well, yea! All of us pretty much guessed y/n. Except for mom though, she’s kept quiet about it. But i guess it was just because she didn’t want to get her hopes up.”        Looking at soobins annoyed expression, you laughed. Shrugging of his sisters arm, soobin grabbed both your luggage, pushing past his sister and pulled them into the house. “Alright, alright, just let us in already, its freezing out here.”        “It’s nice to see you again y/n,” his sister said as she held the door open for you.        “Likewise.” You smiled before stepping in.        You’d never been to soobin’s house before. Sure, you’ve seen bits and pieces of it when the two of your FaceTimed over the holidays, but never in person. In the hallway where you stood, were the stairs that you presumed lead to the bedrooms. Sporadically placed were a few house plants that looked as if they had been watered quite recently.  The walls were littered with family photos, and most noticeably, soobin’s baby pictures. You smiled looking at them, taking a mental image of the cute, little baby this giant once was.        Closing the door behind you, soobins sister spoke, “you guys wait here. I think mom and dad are in the living room. I’ll go get them.”        As you saw her silhouette disappear towards one of the entries, you felt the nerves building up again, “soobin...” you tilted you head up to look at him, your face portraying nothing but worry.        “Don’t worry okay?” Taking your hand in his, gently squeezing for reassurance.“ Just follow my lead and pretend you’re in love with me. Which should be easy since I’m your favourite person,” he joked, in attempts to lighten your mood.        ‘Pretend to be in love with him’. Okay, shouldn’t be too hard, considering the fact that you actually were in love with him and spent years pretending not to be. “Yea, alright.”        Letting go of your hand, soobin walked forward to hug his parents when he saw them approaching.        “Soobin, we were starting to wonder how long more you would take,” his mom said. “How are you? How’s everything at school?”         “Everything’s fine,” he replied. Turning to you, he held out his hand for you to take. “Mom, dad, you know y/n.”        Accepting his hand, you stepped forward to greet his parents. Just hoping that your nervous trembling wasn’t too obvious to the naked eye.        “Ah of course! How could we ever forget,” his mom smiled.        “We always knew the two of you would end up together eventually. He’s always been so obvious about you,” his dad added, causing blood to rush to your cheeks, and soobin to immediately retaliate.        “Dad! Stop it. No i have not!” You looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met your eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face never faltered.        Hitting her husbands arm, soobins mom scolded, “aish, stop teasing them, they just got here. Speaking of which, have you two eaten?”        “No we havent, actually. We came right after school,” soobin answered.        “In that case, you can take yours and y/n stuff up to your room and get settled in. I’ll order some food for you. Pizza sound okay?” his mom spun soobin around, pushing him back to where your luggage laid.        “His room?” You thought out loud. Of course they were expecting you to share a room with soobin. What else could you have possibly thought.        “Of course his room,” his mom answered, “you have known each other for such a long time. And i have no doubts there are days that soobin stayed over at your apartment instead of his dorm anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch.”        With that, you and soobin grabbed your things and headed up to his room. Sure, the nights soobin stayed over you have shared a bed before. But this time, it just felt different. Even though everything was still purely platonic, the element of you being in his home, pretending to be his girlfriend, was still no doubt intimidating.        “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Soobin asked rhetorically, snapping you out of your thoughts. He laughed, clearly taking the whole situation a lot lighter than you were.        Opening the door to his room, it was exactly how you pictured it when he called you. You stood at the doorway, it seemed so familiar, yet unknown at the same time. His bed in the corner of the room with a few pillows and plushies, at the other end, his desk and wardrobe filled with clothes he left behind. His walls were mainly bare, except for one that had a few old polaroids hanging loosing from the ceiling. It felt weird being there.        “Well, don’t just stand there,” soobin grabbed your luggage from you, pulling you in to the room so he could close the door behind you and crashing down on his bed. “First, let me give you the official welcome to mi casa. My family is a lot, but you already knew that. Make yourself at home.”        “Honestly, i cant believe they bought it so easily,” you let out, taking a seat next to him.        “Told you they would. My family probably loves you more than they love me.”        You laughed halfheartedly, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing.        “We should clean up before we head back to the wolves den for dinner. The bathroom is right down the hall to the right. You can go first, ill clear a drawer for you,” he offered.          You nod, gathering your things for the night.        This is all just pretend.

————-————-————-————-

       The shower definitely helped calm you down a bit. You loved the warmth of the water against your skin.        “It’s just for a week. Dont get used to it,” you muttered to yourself.        Getting out, you quickly dressed yourself in a tshirt and some shorts. The normal attire you wore to sleep, anything else was always just uncomfortable for you.          “You’re turn,” you announced when you entered soobins room again.        “That was quick. Here, take one of my sweaters.”        “What for?” You shot him a look, raising brow. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t stole his hoodies before, it was just the fact that he was offering it this time.       “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, aren’t you? Girlfriends always take their boyfriend’s clothes.”        Fishing a plain, red sweater out from his wardrobe, he threw it in your direction, hitting you directly in the face and causing you to yelp a little. “Besides, you already take all my hoodies. This is no different,” he continued, eyeing you as you pulled it over your head.        As usual, soobin’s clothes were huge on you. And this sweater was no doubt oversized, even for him. “How do i look?”        You looked to him when you didn’t get a reply. But this only caused him to turn away from you quickly, mumbling something to himself before answering, “it’s my clothes, it’ll look great on everyone.”        Scrambling to gather his things, he left for his shower. You could have swore you saw him blushing when he was looking at you. But you brushed it off as your overactive imagination. You decided to swiftly blow dry your hair before laying on his bed, scrolling through your phone while waiting for him. You were hungry, practically starving, but there was no way in hell you were going to face his family again on your own. With your new status, god knows what they would do or say.        A mere 15 minutes go by before you hear the door open again. Revealing a damp haired soobin, dressed in a white tee and sweatpants. A simple look you have seen many times over the years, but one that still made your head and thoughts hazy.        “Ready to go down?” He spoke, smirking at you, almost knowingly, “I’m starving.”        “Ye- yeah,” gathering your thoughts, bringing yourself back to reality.

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       Dinner with the family wasnt all that bad. Sure, there was the occasional teasing and questions. But that was to be expected. Any parent would have been curious, right?        You let soobin take the lead on most of those. You didn’t want your cover to get blown by having any clashing answers. Once in a while you would feel soobin grab your hand under the table when he needed your help, but for the most part, they were the basic questions like “since when?” Or “who confessed first?”. The usual relationship stuff, nothing too hard. And it was a lot easier with the fact that it was you and soobin, the two friends that have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of situations.         At the end of the day, the awkwardness ended soon after it started. With it being past midnight, Soobin’s family had long gone to bed, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit kitchen to finish up your dinner, which had quickly became supper.        “So, how was day one of being my girlfriend?” He looked over to you, munching on another piece of pizza. Even in that horrible lighting, he still managed to take your breath away. No one could possibly look good with dull, ugly, yellow kitchen lighting, but somehow, he did. The way the soft light bounced off his skin, partnered with the reflection in his eye that gave that perfect shine to them. You were sure you looked horrid next to him.        “Mmm, it’s alright i guess,” you teased, earning a pout from soobin. “You big baby. I’m just kidding,” nudging him on the shoulder, causing you both the laugh.        You didn’t know why this question surprised you as much as it did. Maybe you wanted to flip the tables, or maybe you just weren’t expecting the answer he gave. “So how was day one of having me as your pretend girlfriend?”        He thought about it for a second before facing you and speaking. “Honestly, it’s been fun. Even though we haven’t done much. But then again, i always knew you would be great girlfriend to someone one day.”        ‘Someone’. If only you could tell him how much you wanted that someone to be him. If only you had the guts to say what’s was on your mind.        “Want to play some music?” Breaking the silence, soobin picked up his phone, quickly scrolling through his playlists before stopping on one he named ‘midnight’. “It’s just some chill songs i found that i thought would be nice to listen to at night.”        The playlist started and the first song to play was ‘what falling in love feels like’.        “Oh, i love this song,” you mindlessly stated between bites.        “Really?” Soobin replied. “I never heard you listen to classical music.”        Your eyes widened slightly when you realised what you said. You didn’t just listen to classical music. You’ve also imagined what it would be like to slow dance to it.        “I never really told anyone... but i always wanted to dance with someone to this song. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit,” you trailed off, the surface of the counter suddenly becoming more interesting. The dead of night had you confessing unspoken words.        There was another second of silence. You could feel soobin’s stare on your face. He was judging you. You were sure of it. Now you were just mentally preparing yourself for a laugh-        “Let’s dance.”        “What?” You weren’t expecting that. You shot your head up, seeing his outstretched hand.        “Let’s dance,” he repeated.        You reached for his hand, but didn’t grab it. You were hesitant. Never would you have thought you’d be slow dancing with your crush — of over 3 years, in the kitchen of his childhood home — at midnight.         He held you hand, helping you to stand before twirling you into his arms. He lead your hands around his neck and his around your waist. You fell in step, letting the rhythm control your movements. Your eyes gazing into his brown, glistening ones, a soft smile on his face. It felt like a dream. Your surroundings and any other disturbances dissolved. It was just you and him. Right here, right now. You stayed like that, dancing. Everything felt just... perfect.        “You know i’d never judge you right?” He said, his eyes watching your expressions closely. “I know that’s what you were thinking earlier.”        You looked away, unable to find the right words. Soobin always had a way to read you so easily. Every once in a while he would remind you how expressive your face was. And you were certain a blush had crept to your cheeks when you heard soobin chuckle.        “You silly girl. You can tell me anything. You know that. After all, you are my best friend.”        “Right... best friend,” you offered a small smile to mask the resignation in your words.         And just like that, the song ended. Soobin let go your waist. Leaving nothing the ghostly feeling of where his hands once were and the sensation of having his body so close to yours.        “It’s nearly 1am. We should go to bed soon,” he nodded towards the clock on the stove. “You can head up first. I’ll clean up here and join you in a bit.”        You nodded. Once you were back in his room, you crashed on his bed. Regret and agony the only things left for you to feel.        Why did you agree to this. You knew it would be hard. But not this hard.        You rolled over to your side of the bed. And true to his word, soobin entered shortly after. Climbing under the covers with you, poking your side when you paid no attention to him.        You jumped, immediately facing him. “What was that for!?”        “Nothing,” he laughed. “It’s just fun to do that to you. I have a fun day planned tomorrow, so get up early. Good night y/n.”        “Good night, asshole.” You scoffed.

.

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       The next morning you woke up to a post-it on your head. You tore it off and looked around the room but soobin was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, sitting up to stretch and read the note.        ‘Wake up sleepyhead. Come to the kitchen for breakfast.’        Oh, how you wished the entire night before had been a dream. But alas, it wasn’t. Pulling yourself out of bed, you cleaned yourself up and descend the stairs. The smell of fresh pancakes engulfing the entire house.        “Good morning y/n,” soobin’s dad greeted you when you entered the kitchen. “Grab a seat. Breakfast is almost done.”        “Your dad cooks?” You whispered as you pulled out the stool next to soobin.        “Mainly breakfast. But yes,” he whispered back.        Soobin’s dad placed a plate in front of each of you. 3 pancakes a piece, and more to come. “Butter or maple syrup?”        “Both,” soobin smugly answered.        “And you y/n?”        “Ill have both as well, thanks,” you smiled before facing soobin. “Where’s your mom and sister?”        “My mom went to the store. And my sister doesn’t get up till later.” Soobin grabbed the syrup his father had just put on the table and poured a generous amount. His attention was fully on his food.        You couldn’t help but grin at his childlike manner. He always loved breakfast. Or any dish that can be both sweet and savoury actually. You both enjoyed your breakfast, watching soobin’s father flip pancakes, cheering when it landed, and messing around while cooking as your morning source of entertainment.        “The pancakes are really good, mr choi,” you complimented.        “Why, thank you y/n. You always have been such well mannered,” he said. “Hopefully some of that will rub off on my son soon.”        “Hey! I am well mannered,” soobin retorted.        “Oh, really now,” you taunted, giving him a look of disbelief.        Soobin tsked, lightly pushing you over. “Okay, whatever. Anyways, hurry up. I’m going to show you around town today.”        “You two don’t come back too late now,” his father added. “And bring a coat, it’s supposed to get colder today.”        Stuffing down the remainder of his food, soobin linked your arms and dragged you out of the kitchen the moment he saw your plate empty.        “Hey! I’m not done yet, i wanted one mo-!”        “Bye dad!” Soobin interrupted, ignoring your plea.

————-————-————-————-

       “So much being well mannered.” You mocked.        “Not my fault you wanted to eat so much,” he shrugged.        Both of you strolled along the road. You weren’t sure where soobin was bringing you, other than his aforementioned ‘town’. Despite it just being the two of you, soobin still dressed nicely, in a turtleneck and scarf with a black coat to go over it.        “Wait...” you started, noticing a passing sign. “Why does that say the town is the other way?”        “Cause i changed my mind. I’m bringing you somewhere else,” he replied, shooting you one of his, oh so charming, eye smiles. “I’ll bring you to town another day.”        “This way’s to the forest,” you raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to kill me or something? After 6 years of friendship. This is how you want to end it?” You dramatically gripped your chest and joked. “I’m sorry for whatever i did. I can change, I swear.”        Soobin rolled his eyes and guffawed. “Of course. This has been my plan all along. To befriend you then brutally murder you among the trees where no one can find your body,” he played along. “Relax, I’m no murderer. An avid liar? Maybe. But not a murderer. I just want to show you something.”         You hummed a response and continued on your way. Not long after, soobin was leading you down a path in the deserted forest. As the path reached deeper into the woods, the trees got denser.        “Erm, soobin, where are we going?” You called from behind him. “I’m really starting to question the whole murder thing.”        You’re not going to lie when you say the woods kind of crept you out. You could have sworn you felt someone behind you. But when you turned around, there wasn’t a soul. The twigs and dead leaves making a deafening crunch under your feet as the — seemingly never-ending — journey continued.        “Just trust me,” he provided a simple answer that proved to be of no help in ensuring you.       As you continued, the sound of snapping twigs got louder. You turned the corner and the sudden sound of birds fleeing their nest startled you, causing you to jump and grab soobin’s coat from the back.         “Are you really that scared?” He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he continued, turning around and reaching for your hand. Gently running his thumb over yours the rest of the way. “We’re almost there. It’s worth it, i promise.”        Having his hand in yours definitely provided some comfort. But it was also making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. After another minute of walking, you finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The horrid crunching sound had been washed out by the sound of, well, rushing water.        A waterfall.        You gasped in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue waterfall. It was spurting over the basalt rock, spilling eel-like over the ledges. Its clamorous passage at the foot of the mountain threw up bubbles of spray. They sparkled uneasily in the beams of light that shined through the leaves of surrounding trees.        When it toppled into the ecstasy-pool, it foamed it at the bottom. The rest of the pool was as clear as cellophane, allowing you to see down into the rocky bottom. Fronds of forest-green plants waved gently in the depths. The waterfall looked like a sheet of blue velour as it swished down. Its edges were hemmed with whipped-white lines.        “Wow,” was all you managed to utter out.        “I told you it was worth it,” soobin grinned. “Come on.” He lead you closer, collapsing on the bank and letting the nougat sweet smell of flowers wash over him.        You followed suit. “How did you find this place?”        “A friend of mine showed it to me when we were kids.” He said, leaning back against his palms. “We used to hang out all the time here. The five of us. That is, until i moved away for high school.        “I wonder what they’re up to now.” He added after a slight pause.        “You don’t see them when you come back for the holidays?” You asked.        Soobin shook his head. “I don’t get to see them much anymore. I barely leave my house, y/n, you know that. Besides, they’re all busy with their own lives.”        You listened to soobin reminisce about his childhood. You would listen to soobin talk for hours if you could. His words are were like gold to you, or perhaps some elixir you’ve been waiting all your days to hear. He had nothing but good things to say. It sounded like he had a lot of fun here, in the small town he grew up in. You both sat there for a while, gawking at the waterfall when the suddenly rustling of the bushes behind you caught your attention.        “Y/n,” soobin stood up, holding you behind him as the rustling got louder. And then a figure walked through, a boy. He was wearing a brown furry jacket. His hair was a strange shade a pink, but it complimented his skin tone nicely.        “Soobin?” The boy said, folding his arms. “No way. Is that actually you? Mr choi soobin. After all these years.”          “Yeonjun?” Soobin replied, letting go of you and walking up to yeonjun. “What are you doing here?”        “I was on my way out and thought i saw you earlier entering the forest so i decided to follow you. Who else knows this place anyway?” Yeonjun laughed, swinging an arm around soobin’s shoulder.        “So you practically followed, what could have been, a complete stranger into the forest?” Soobin shot him a look. To that, yeonjun just smiled and nodded. “You never change, do you?”        “Nope,” yeonjun answered confidently. “Anyways, are you going to introduce me to the pretty lady or do i have to do that myself?” He gestured a smile towards you.        Beside him, soobin stiffened, his jaw slightly tensing before he answered. “Right... Yeonjun, y/n. We met in high school, she’s my best friend.  Y/n, yeonjun. He was one of my friends i was telling you about-”        “Yeah, until this bastard moved, changed his number and practically became a hermit that never left his house much.” Yeonjun jibed.        “Hmm, that sounds about right. The only place I’ve seen him, other than class or the library, is at my apartment binge watching shows,” you added, causing yeonjun to burst out a laugh.        “You guys are mean.” Soobin grumbled, pushing yeonjun’s arm off him.        “I have a feeling she and i are going to be great friends.” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly.        The three of you sat there, talking for what seemed like hours. Soobin and yeonjun continued to tell you about the different adventures they had together as kids with their friends, beomgyu, kai and taehyun. They recounted all the accidents that happened, all the fun moments they had together. Yeonjun eventually proceeded to tell you about all the embarrassing soobin stories he could think of, sharing jokes and making you laugh. The entire time though, soobin barely directed any conversation at you. Let alone laugh at Yeonjun’s ‘jokes’.        As your laughter died down, yeonjun spoke again. “I have to ask though, what’s she doing doing here? Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious. Does she live around here too?”        You looked to soobin, unsure of how or what to answer.        “It’s okay, yeonjun won’t snitch,” he said. “Y/n’s pretending to be my girlfriend for the holiday.”         It hurt you every time he said it. In your head you wished so badly for it to be real. To think, by now you would have learnt that wishing only wounds the heart. And each time soobin said it out loud, it was like a punch to the gut.        “Pretending to be your-“ yeonjun cut himself off by scoffing. “What for?”        “Well....” soobin started explaining the whole situation to yeonjun. To which the only response he got out of the other boy was mockery and disbelief.        “Are you serious?!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “So you two aren’t together?”        You shook your head.        “Oh... good....” he mumbled, grinning in the process. “You have got to be kidding me. But you guys do you, i guess. My lips are sealed.        “I hate to ruin the moment but i have to go. It was nice meeting you y/n.” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It was nice to see you again too, soobin. But let know, the next time you’re back.”        “Right, ill keep that in mind.” Soobin replied.        Just as yeonjun started to walk away, he stopped and turned around once more. “Oh! Right. How long are you guys staying? I’m meeting beomgyu, tae and kai on monday at the diner. You should come,” his eyes travelled to you, “both of you.”        “We cant-“        “We would love to!” You cut soobin off, “come on soobin, you haven’t seen your friends in ages. I would be nice to say ‘hi’ again.”         Soobin stared at you for a second. Maybe it was the excitement in your face or maybe he truly did want to see his friends again. But in the end he agreed.          “Great! Ill see you two monday at 5.” Yeonjun ended, giving a small salute before leaving, for real this time.        Soobin went back to the bay, laying down on the grass, letting out a long held sigh. He stared up at the sky that was quickly becoming darker. The stars and moon announcing their arrival.        “You alright?” You asked, sitting down next to him.        “Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” He answered, his eyes still closed.        “I don’t know. You just seemed... off just now. Like my or yeonjun’s presence bothered you.”        “It’s nothing. Im just tired.” He sighed again, sitting up. “While on the subject, we should head back. It’s getting dark.”        He stood up and started walking without another word.        Was he mad at you? No... he had no reason to be, right? Was he mad about the joke you made with yeonjun?        You quickly caught up to him and followed him out of the forest. Other than your footsteps against the concrete road and the cicadas that came out to say their daily greetings, the awkward silence followed the rest of the way.        “I’m not annoyed at you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” soobin broke the silence. The entire walk you had your focus on the ground, not noticing the stolen glances soobin took. “Stop sulking. People are going to think i kicked your puppy or something.” He chuckled, bending his waist slight to look at your face.        His face was mere inches away from yours. Memories from the previous night came flooding back. You didn’t offer a response, not trusting the words that would escape your lips in that moment. Instead just turning your face to the other side to avoid his stare. Soobin let out a light hearted laugh and continued walking.          You recalled how soobin always said you had an expressive face. He must have seen something you didn’t realise.        The sky got darker as you continued down the road. The cool winter breeze greeting the concrete and skin just the same, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Mentally cursing the fact that, other than your khaki coat, you didn’t think to wear more layers that morning.        Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you cold?” Soobin asked, already shedding off his cherry red, wool scarf.        “No, it’s alright, you’ll get cold,” grabbing his hands to stop his actions.        “I’ll be fine. And we’re only about 5 minutes away,” he argued, wrapping his scarf around your neck. He took your hand, pulling you behind him the rest of the way quickly before you ‘caught a cold’.        The scarf sat snug to your skin, soft and gentle, the ends becoming a colourful flag in the wintry winds. It was still warm from where it sat before. You could smell of his cologne on it. Faint, from the day’s activities. But still prominent enough to know it’s existence.        Your hands trembled in his and you thanked the cold for that excuse. Burying your face deeper into his scarf before he could make out the slight blush that painted your cheeks.        When you reached soobin’s home again, there was a faint chattering echoing through house.        “Oh, i think my older sister’s came for a visit.”        Soobin’s older sister. The one that’s the account, married, with the baby — soobin’s nephew — and the lovely husband. You’ve only ever met them once, well that, and the occasional pictures soobin would send you of him and his nephew. Seeing soobin with babies did things to your heart thats you didn’t like. You’ve already imagined the unlikely scenario of what it would be like to have soobin as your boyfriend. You can’t go fantasising an entire family as well. But you had to admit, he would make a great dad one day.        “Soobin!” His older sister ran and hugged him. He’s always had such a close bond with his siblings. “Mom and dad told me you brought your girlfriend home this time.” She wiggled her eyebrows.        “Hey sis. And yeah, y/n. You know her,” soobin turned to you.        “Of course. The last time i saw you two I knew you’d end up together.” She cheered as if she had just won the lottery.        So, from what you’ve gathered, soobin’s entire family had always had some hopes on the two of two. You wanted to smile at that fact. But at same time, you were lying to them right now. It was a bittersweet feeling.        The remainder of the night went on rather unproductive. You had dinner with his family, chatted with them, played with the baby and that was about it. The worst part came when the family decided to watch a movie together. The movie was great, dont get me wrong. You all sat together and watched kingsman again. Even though it was the tenth time you’ve seen it, it was still yours and Soobin’s favourite.        The bad part came when you had to find a seat. The family couch say four, soobin’s mom, dad and sisters. The older’s husband took one of the arm chairs, leaving you and soobin to share the other. In other words, you ended up having to sit on his lap.        “I can just sit on the floor, its no problem,” you suggested.        “Nonsense. I won’t let you sit on the floor,” soobin rebutted, holding your waist, pulling you back onto his lap.        You swear, if it wasn’t for the dimness of the room, the redness of your face would have matched that of the fire place. Throughout the movie you found it extremely hard to pay attention. Soobin had left one of his hands to rest on your knee and the other around your back. Sure, he was probably just putting on a show for his family. But he didn’t have to do the thumb thing as well. Or gently whisper in your ear, so close that you could feel his breath against your neck.          The rest of the time you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat — which just so happened to be soobin’s lap. As interesting as the fight scene on screen was or the dramatic music playing, the only thing you could focus on was the fact that soobin’s hand had now traveled to your thigh.        And underneath you, soobin’s breathing was becoming short and uneven. He was starting to stir as well before getting up, forcing you to stand and murmuring, “I’m going to head to bed early. You guys enjoy the rest of the movie.”        Within the next beat of the soundtrack, he was dashing out of the living room and running up the stairs.        What...?        You weren’t the only one wondering that. Soobin’s family were now staring at you, his mothers brows furrowed, his sister’s head tilted quizzically. “He said he’s tired,” you blurted, face-palming in your head.        Great. You already felt out of place and this certainly wasn’t helping. You sat down on the, now vacant, chair and continued the rest of the movie with his family.        I’m sure he’s fine. You can always ask him tomorrow.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

       You woke up to an empty bed again. But this time there was no post it note or anything from soobin. So you assumed he’d be in the kitchen like before.        “Morning y/n,” it was his older sister this time.        “Morning.” You looked around. No sight of soobin. “Where’s soobin?”        “Oh he didn’t tell you? He went out for a walk around 20 minutes ago.”        Why didn’t he wait for you?        “Yeah, he didn’t. Did he say where he was going or when he’ll be back?” You asked.        To that, she just shook her head.        Oh...

       “I almost forgot,” she continued. “There was a note for you. I left it on the counter for you.”

       You picked it up, hoping to see Soobin’s name as the regards, telling you his whereabouts. Instead, the note was fairly short.

Hey y/n!

Once again i just wanted to welcome you to town. It was really nice meeting you yesterday! Maybe we could hang out some time?

(Hopefully) Your friend,

Yeonjun

       Did Soobin see it? Either way, why does it matter.        After breakfast, you decided to wait for soobin to come home. If he didn’t tell where he was going, it means he cant be gone long, right? You sat in his room, figuring it would be the only place you didnt have to face his family members.        It was only about an hour and a half of waiting and a lunch break, that you got bored. You could only scroll your phone so much before it started to get more redundant than it already was. So, checking the weather report, you got dressed and left for a walk around. You hadn’t seen much of the area yet, it wouldn’t be harmful to do some exploring. Learning your lesson from yesterday, you put on a wool sweater underneath your coat. A pair of dr marten to match.         It was a rather fine day out. You walked under the sun that warmed your skin, but the cool winds keeping the temperature cool enough. The only thing that would make this better would be if soobin were with you...        “Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you.        You turned around and saw a familiar lock of pink hair running towards you, frantically waving his arms. He was wearing a leather jacket today. Behind him was someone else that chased after him. He had nicely styled, bleached blonde hair and was slightly short than yeonjun was.        “Oh, hi.” You greeted the two of them. “Fancy running into you again.”        “I know, right!” He agreed, a bit more enthusiastically than what you would imagine. “Why are you alone? Where’s soobin?”        “No clue. He just took off this morning. Didn’t tell me anything and i got bored of sitting around alone.”        “Maybe the pressure of a relationship getting to him,” yeonjun suggested.        “It’s fake though,” you mocked.        He just shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less of a commitment.”        You hummed a reply. “Fair enough.”        “Anyway. If you have nothing better to do... taehyun and i,” he said, gesturing towards to boy beside him, “were just headed to the arcade in town. Care to join us?”        “Sure, I don’t see why not.”        You followed as yeonjun and taehyun lead you through the town soobin said he would bring you to. Every corner they turned, they greeted someone new. From little kids to elderly ladies and gentlemen. Small town, i guess everyone knew everyone.        Eventually, they stopped in front of a building, the arcade. The pings from the pinball machines, the bullets from the shooting games, and the ‘jackpot’ announcements, all a dead give away. From the outside, the building looked old and rundown. The paint was old and cracking as if it hadn’t been repainted in years. Even the neon signs provided to the retro aesthetic, casting a purple-red hue over everything.        You stood there, taking in the atmosphere for a second. It sure was different from any arcade you had back in the city. You glanced around, when a figure at one of the pinball machines caught your eye.        “Soobin?” You spoke out loud.        Confused, yeonjun and taehyun followed your gaze to said figure.        “What in the?” You walked up to him. the further into the arcade you went, the louder everything got. Tapping him on the shoulder, you just about had to yell to have any sort of conversation.        “Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with the same expression as culprit that had just been caught red-handed.        You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “So you ditched me to come play games alone?”        “Um, kind of? Not really though,” he said. His eyes darting towards the two boys that to came up behind you. “You came with taehyun and... Yeonjun?”        “Hey soob, long time no see,” taehyun added.        “I went out for a walk and ran into them,” a quick and easy reason. “You could have just told me if you wanted to come to town alone, you know? You don’t have to sneak off at the crack of dawn.”        “Nice to see you too tae. And I do want to show you around the town. It’s just,” his eyes travelled between you and yeonjun, back to you in a blink. “I just needed a break from things for a while.”        “Hm, alright,” you accepted his explanation, but something still felt weird.        “Since we’re already here, there’s no use standing around.” Yeonjun spoke. “Y/n, come play the shooting game with me!”        Before you could reply, yeonjun was already dragging you towards one of the machines. Leaving taehyun and soobin to do whatever it was they did. He handed you one of the guns available and scanned his arcade card. The entire time you could feel eyes watching you, but shook it off.        Yeonjun was pretty good at the game, you had to admit. He spent a lot of time here, you assumed. Time seemed to disappear the longer you were in the arcade. The atmosphere around you never changed. It was still as lively and colourful as when you first walked in. The bright lights and loud music blasting, disrupting your senses. But outside, the sun was quickly setting.        “Good game, y/n,” taehyun offered a handshake after you beat him at yet another game of air hockey.        You took it. “Not too shabby yourself.”        Beside you, yeonjun and soobin clapped for your victory.        “We should probably go back soon,” Soobin said, showing the clock on his phone. It was nearly 8pm. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.        You all travelled back together. Turns out yeonjun and taehyun only lived a street away from soobin.        “See you tomorrow,” taehyun and yeonjun waved goodbye as you parted ways, leaving you and soobin to go your way.        Neither of you said a thing to each other. And for reason you were having trouble thinking of a conversation starter, this hasn’t happened before. Usually you and soobin had endless things to talk about. It didn’t matter how stupid or unimaginable it was, the two of you never ran out of things to say.        “When you were a kid, did you ever pretend you were smoking in winter?” You said the first thing that came to mind, the cold air making your breath visible, helping to elaborate your question. You laughed at yourself, holding your fingers up in a peace sign, imagining a cigarette between them.        “Yeah, when i was like 7.”        Okay, ouch.        Soobin’s answer was short, providing no further conversation. You pressed your lips together, stuffing your hands in your pockets as embarrassment crept up on you. So much for never feeling judged.        The rest of the night you didn’t speak much. Every attempt you made just being shot down with one liners. Every time you showed soobin a funny video or meme, he gave little to no response. And eventually you gave up.        This continued to the following day. Sure, soobin was an introvert. You knew that. But he’s never ignored you to this extent. Was he getting sick of having you around everyday? If that was the case, he should just tell you, you’d give him all the space he needs.        You can’t lie and say you weren’t hurt by that thought. Your crush was ignoring you. That would have hurt anyone. And right now, you felt nothing more than a parasite in his home.        “Come on, we have to go meet the others,” the first words he’s said to you in hours.

      You followed quietly as soobin brought you to the diner. When you arrived, the others were already there. Yeonjun and taehyun, along with two new faces. Beomgyu and Huening Kai, you figured from previous conversations.        They sat at a semi-circle booth meant for four with two extra chairs at the end. One of which occupied by taehyun as the other three shared the banquette bench.         “Soobin! Y/n!” They waved.         Yeonjun sat at one of the ends and shifted when he spotted you enter. “Y/n, i saved you a seat next to me,” he said smugly, smirking and cocking his head to the space beside him.        You rolled your eyes at his antics, lips curling upwards. Soobin’s expression remained hard, unbothered and unimpressed even. But you didn’t question it, he’s been like that since yesterday. And frankly, you’ve gotten sick of it. Might as well spend time with someone that actually wants your attention.        You got along well with the boys. You learnt that Kai and taehyun went to the same school and beomgyu had just graduated recently. Most of the time though, was spent whispering jokes between yeonjun and yourself. And at some point of the night, he had managed to sneak an around the back of the booth. On the other side, Beomgyu and Kai snickered to each other and eventually shook hands, some bet or deal you presumed.        All of a sudden you heard one of the chairs beside you shift. The feet scratching against the tiled floor. And the next thing you knew, soobin was walking out the door, the bell ringing behind him.        “Where’s he going?” Kai asked.        “No clue,” Beomgyu answered. Taehyun just shrugged. All your attentions still on the door that had already been shut.        “Um, ill go check on him,” you announced, running out of the diner after him. Sure, you and him weren’t on good terms at the moment, but nontheless he was still your best friend, and a huge part of you still cared for him.         “Soobin, wait!” You called, but he kept walking.        “Soobin!” You tried again, chasing after him.        “Stop right there choi soobin!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the empty street. The boys silhouette stood still. But never did he turn to look at you. “Dont you dare take another step!”        Never once in five years have you ever felt intimidated by him. But with his large figure being illuminated by nothing but the dull, yellow street lights, you couldn’t say that anymore. There was silence as you gathered your thoughts, making your way towards him. You had him right in front of you. Now what? You wanted soobin back. Your soobin.        “What’s going on with you?” Your feet stopped on their own accord, right behind the tall boy. “You’ve been acting strange.”        No answer.        “Soobin, don’t ignore me!” You said again, desperation and annoyance laced in your tone.        “I don’t know what you want me to say y/n,” he sighed, trying to keep his temper from exploding.        “I want a damn explanation, soobin,” anger from the previous day slowly consuming you. “Do you know how much of an asshole you’re being? God! I try to talk to you, but it’s just like i’m talking to a god damn wall! So, you can either tell me what’s going on or I’m on the next bus home tomorrow.”        No answer. But you could tell the last part hit him hard. He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure you would see the remorse and anger in his eyes. He hated that you were mad. He hated that you were yelling. But most of all he hated that he was the cause of it.       “You asked me to come play girlfriend with you and i did,” you sighed, continuing when he started walking again. “I only did because,” swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re... you’re my best friend.”        Best friend.        “I’m your best friend... you can me anything, you know that.” You quoted his words.        “There’s some things better left unsaid,” he offered before walking away again. “I’m sorry y/n.”        “No!” You cried, stopping his tracks. “Apology not accepted.”        You could see frustration building in soobin. His hand pinching his temple, his shoulders tensed as you spoke. “You said you’d be by my side the whole time! But since the waterfall you’ve barely talked to me! You leave me in situations on my own, you’re ignoring me and you randomly take off without a word. You’re doing it right now! So, again, you can either tell me what’s going on or-“        “It’s because i love you, okay!?”        Now it was your turn to stay silent.        Soobin let out a sigh, turning to face you. “Is that what you want to hear?! I love you, y/n!” His tone got softer, “I love you so much. For as long as i can remember knowing you. It hurts when I see you with other people. Especially people that so blatantly flirt with you in front of me. You’re stunning, beautiful. Even a fool could see it. But you’re also so much more than that.        “You were the only person that bothered to come talk to me the first day of school. Others probably viewed me as the weird, loser kid that sat alone during lunch. But you didn’t. You were my first and only friend for years. Before i knew it, i had a crush on you. At first, i thought it was just a phase. But it wasn’t, y/n. And now, im so hopelessly head over heels for you.        “I know, I haven’t earned your heart. I never will. I could spend a million years worshiping you and still not earn it. You’re my best friend, i know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I know you’re mad at me. And i know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please... please, don’t leave me.”        He sounded raw, real in a way you’ve never heard before. When he was done, he was closely inspecting the road, afraid to look up. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, waiting for your rejection.        “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked, keeping emotion from your voice.        He shrugged and laughed. “You’re my best friend, I didn’t want to lose you.”        You let one hand slide against his cheek, resting your palm there. “You wouldn’t have.”        “Wha-“        “I love you too, you doofus.”        You felt the pull of a muscle as his lips twitched. “Really?”        “Yes. Really. For as long as i can remember.”        Soobin, your best friend — now, boyfriend — pulled you into his arms. “I love you, y/f/n. And I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. What can i say to make you forgive me?”        “Words only mean so much. Actions speak louder, don’t you agree?”        “I do.”        He lowered his head and brushed his lips against yours.        “Am i forgiven?” He asked rhetorically.        You laugh. “Only because i love you.”        “Yes! I told you so!” You turned and saw Kai yelling and celebrating, pointing fingers at beomgyu. Taehyun and yeonjun shaking their heads in disappointment.        What a crazy group of friends they were.

.

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[deborahdeshoftim5779]

BBC Merlin 4x05: His Father’s Son

Here's a round-up of my main observations from BBC Merlin's "His Father's Son" (4x05).

1- MERLIN AS A KNIGHT 

I have to admit that Merlin as a sorcerer and trusted adviser appeals to me the most, but I did write a lengthy post analysing how Arthur had turned Merlin into an excellent fighter. This refutes claims that Merlin gave more to Arthur than he received in return. 

At the beginning of 4x05, we see Merlin selected to play a new role: that of knight. How did this come about? Arthur Pendragon is best known for his skills as a warrior, but he deserves more credit for his military tactics. These destroy the popular yet false idea that he is unintelligent. More on the latter in a forthcoming post.  

One of Arthur’s favourite tactics is using decoys. Previous examples of him using decoys include: The Castle of Fyrien (3x07), when Arthur used Merlin as a decoy to entrap Cenred’s soldiers; Aithusa (4x04), when Arthur used himself as a decoy to get Sir Percival to safety; Arthur’s Bane Part 2 (5x02), when Arthur uses Merlin as a decoy to enrage the slave traders before they escape-- by far my favourite example. 

All things considered, I don’t think it takes long for Arthur to choose Merlin. Furthermore, this decision may have taken place before they reached their selected location, as Agravaine later mentions a previous attack by Caerleon on the border. This choice demonstrates that Arthur has higher confidence in Merlin's abilities than he does of in his knights-- else he would have chosen them. We must conclude that Merlin is Arthur's best fighter, though at first glance, we wonder why an unarmed man follows trained knights into battle. 

Merlin is sharp, fast, has high stamina, and is incredibly resourceful. Most of all, however, he is incredibly brave. In fact, when rewatching 1x02, I was surprised to see Arthur acknowledge that Merlin was "braver than you look." This despite Arthur’s frustration that Merlin did not try hard enough during practice ("Come on, Merlin: I've got a tournament to win!"). 

What’s more, in that same episode, Merlin complains about his first day, but later on, we see his fascination wth the ongoing tournament. Then he admitted to Gaius that working for Arthur (in the context of said tournament) "isn't totally horrible all the time." It took one day for him to change his opinion! 

Sure, Merlin would continue to treat the fighting as pointless violence, and Arthur as having nothing more in his head than a desire to knock "the seven bells" out of other people (3x04). However, even in 1x02, when he applauds Arthur's fighting, his actions tell a different story. We associate this habit of liking something whilst pretending otherwise to Arthur, yet Merlin has it as well. 

As I have said before, Merlin and Arthur have profound differences, yet are profoundly alike. 

2- MERLIN AS A SERVANT 

It comes as no surprise that Merlin would return to serving after the beginning of 4x05. However, what that change represents sets the tone for this entire episode: Arthur dismissing Merlin's counsel repeatedly in favour of listening to his uncle. 

When Arthur says, "so please, stick to what you do know," you have to wonder whether Merlin remembered being entrusted with the role of knight. Now, Arthur puts him back in his place. 

Here's another example: "My conscience is clean, which is more than I can say for my room, so just... do your job, will you?" Yet just yesterday, that job involved Merlin risking his life against enemy forces by dressing as a knight. 

By the way, you can tell that Arthur doesn’t believe his own excuses, because he keeps using the passive voice to justify killing Caerleon: “...a show of strength was necessary… an example had to be made… My conscience is clean…” 

Merlin’s face after Arthur claims he doesn’t need anyone is self-explanatory. 

3- NEW THOUGHTS ON ANNIS

Is Queen Annis a good person? Actually, no. 

First of all, she knows and approves of her husband invading foreign kingdoms to plunder their wealth. Such invasions naturally cost not only the lives of Arthur's men, but her own, too. 

Furthermore, despite accepting Arthur's offer of a fight by single combat, she is prepared to cheat by enlisting Morgana's power. Perhaps if Arthur had died, too, she would have felt some remorse. Yet she still takes a monumental risk with Arthur's life in blatant violation of the knight's code. One has to wonder about her reaction had Camelot plotted against her armies in the same way. 

Then we have Annis calmly ordering Merlin’s execution without giving him a chance to explain himself. The lack of emotion in her voice suggests she has done this before. 

Speaking of cruelty, Annis’ champion seems to enjoy inflicting pain on his enemies, yet the Queen claims that he “served my husband well.” I dread to think what she means by “served”. 

I will also note that Queen Annis disdains magic, referring to Morgana as “witch”. As I have said before, Uther did not begin prejudice against magic; sorcerers were disliked and feared elsewhere, too, including by those who disliked Uther. Many sorcerers caused this prejudice by engaging in manipulative, violent, and wicked deeds. 

Examples include High Priestesses using Fomorrohs to enslave people’s minds (4x06); Cornelius Sigan using his power to change day into night and acquire vast wealth (2x01); sorcerers using special blades to murder people (3x04), and so on.

None of this takes away from Annis’ complexity, nor does it undermine her immense humility when she accepts defeat and withdraws from Camelot. After all, much of Annis' rage and desire for vengeance stems from intense grief over Caerleon's death, so we can assume her marriage was a happy one. 

Forgiving the man who destroyed her domestic happiness (as well as leaving her people without a king) shows tremendous nobility on Annis’ part. I think Arthur sees that, for he is always humble and respectful before her. 

4- LONG LIVE THE KING 

Few people respect Arthur more than Merlin. So when he doesn’t join in with cries of “Long live the king!”, you know something is wrong. 

5- CONTROL YOUR FEAR 

Episode 4x03 has a hilarious scene where a drunk Arthur claims he isn’t even a little bit scared, because, “I’m a warrior. You learn to control your fear.” Then Arthur walks smack bang into a pillar. Never fails to make me laugh. Minus the drunkenness, Arthur was telling the truth about controlling his fear.

You can see this at least twice in this episode: first, when he sees how many men Annis has brought against Camelot, and secondly, when he sees the size of Annis’ giant. In both cases, Arthur harnesses his fear into determination, which is another sign of a great warrior. 

Next up, we have a fascinating scene where Arthur watches his men joking by the fire. It's a great way of showing Arthur’s care for these men, as well as his guilt that impending war will end their lives. In a sense, Arthur has to control his fear yet again. 

6- TRUST IN MERLIN 

After the above scene, Gwaine asks Merlin if Arthur is all right, and the fact that Merlin can describe Arthur's feelings without even questioning the King once again shows the unique nature of their friendship. Merlin sees Arthur's expression, and he just knows. And Gwaine knows that, hence why he does not question the King himself. 

Listen to the silence after Merlin's response. Nobody questions Merlin's judgement: they just reflect. Given the way Arthur has repeatedly dismissed Merlin's advance in favour of his uncle, I think he could have learned something from his own knights. 

I wonder whether the knights would ask Merlin something about Arthur in this way, whenever the king was absent. In ancient kingdoms, kings had advisers, and in order to earn the monarch's favour, you spoke to the latter first. Did Merlin ever play that role for the knights?

7- MERLIN’S IDIOCY 

Now, I have a problem with Merlin telling Arthur that 1)- he would have taken any other option but to face war with Annis, and 2)- his decision to kill Caerleon “was made in the best interests of Camelot.” 

Sorry, but it wasn’t. Merlin knows that. I understand that he has to rally Arthur’s spirits so that they can win against Annis, but I am glad that Arthur knows full well he has done wrong. Both Merlin and many fans do not give Arthur enough credit for recognising his own errors. 

However, even these foolishly optimistic statements pale in comparison to Merlin's reckless and self-righteous interference when Arthur negotiates with Queen Annis. I burst out laughing when he trips and falls headlong into the tent, a metaphor for his impetuousness.  

Merlin eavesdrops outside Annis’ tent, gets caught (so he didn't conceal himself), and then has the audacity to say, “Sorry about this!” to Arthur! Not only that, he got angry over being called a “simple-minded fool”, when he couldn’t even walk in a straight line to follow the king, got himself caught and almost killed by enemy soldiers, and made Arthur look as though he were double-crossing Annis! 

I completely agree with Arthur’s anger: “Oh, I was being kind, believe me: you almost got me killed in there!” Correct. Merlin simply could not trust that Arthur knew what he was doing, and decided to interfere. Instead of apologising for getting Arthur into trouble, Merlin remains on the defensive, claiming without evidence that Arthur was “doing a pretty good job of that yourself!” 

This is untrue. Arthur surrendered himself to Annis’ men. The most injury he received was a slap. He asked a favour. That isn’t risking your life. In fact, Arthur was trying to save lives, and if Merlin had been listening properly (or just stayed in bed), he would have seen that. Only after Merlin’s sudden entrance did Arthur face serious danger from Annis. 

Now, Merlin’s explanation for this is, “I’m your friend! I was looking out for you.” I don’t doubt it. But once again, Arthur is right: “I appreciate that in your very confused way, you’re only trying to help, but please: don’t do it again.”

Condescending? Of course. But this time it was Merlin who provoked him into this anger. 

8- MORGANA 

Despite all her power, Morgana still has to defer to non-magical kings and queens. After all, she requires their military assistance to take over Camelot. 

You can also see how Queen Annis detects Morgana’s hatred, greed, self-righteousness, hypocrisy, and bloodlust. In one glance, Queen Annis begins questioning the wisdom of working with a sorceress she does not trust, not least on account of Morgana being a sorceress. 

In fact, Arthur’s prowess as a warrior impresses her more: “You have as much to lose as I if Arthur wins…” Fascinating scene. 

9- THANK YOU, OLD FRIEND 

It’s ironic that arguably the best scene in 4x05 begins by showcasing Arthur’s cynicism. No guesses why Arthur did not tell Merlin about breaking off his relationship with Gwen earlier. That speaks volumes. If he had told Merlin, I think they would have had an argument similar to that of 4x11. 

Only when Arthur realises that he may die does he ask Merlin to pass his ring onto Gwen with an apology. You can see the guilt etched onto his face as he refuses to make eye contact. Interestingly, Merlin does not ask any further questions. 

Arthur’s entrusting Merlin to look after Gwen in the event of his death says a lot. For example, that ring is technically royal property, yet Arthur gives it to a servant for safe-keeping, rather than his next-of-kin, Agravaine. Despite claiming to need his uncle’s advice, Arthur will not trust Agravaine with such duties. Has Arthur made a medieval will or testament? Obviously, I have no idea, however, this episode already shows Arthur’s reliance on Merlin to deal with family matters. 

Another interesting aspect to this scene is Merlin’s silence after Arthur makes an indisputable point. This dispels any idea that Merlin’s advice was always correct. On several occasions, Merlin had to defer to Arthur’s judgement, because he saw the truth and wisdom behind it. “I don’t know what will happen. But for the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I’ve made the right decision.”

Got to love Arthur’s half-amused, “You’re not about to start crying on me, are you?” He expects Merlin to be either in good spirits or confident, because that is how he, too, remains confident. Arthur is an optimist, yet Merlin becomes a pessimist, so the king must pull Merlin together with light and yet serious teasing. 

Needless to say, Arthur calling Merlin “old friend” implies that they have been friends for a long time. So why do some fans still think that Arthur had trouble admitting that Merlin was his friend? Also, the word “old” in this context can imply reliability, constancy. Arthur chose that word to describe Merlin’s value, as well as the length of their friendship. 

The great thing about Arthur is that while he makes some serious errors, when he does repent, he does so well. Not only does Arthur graciously thank Merlin for his concern, but he makes it clear to Agravaine that he relies on Merlin’s judgement prior to entering battle. This supports my earlier statement that Merlin is Arthur’s best fighter, as well as right-hand man; Arthur does not leave for the fight until Merlin has confirmed his readiness. 

On top of this, Arthur later admits that he might be a cabbage head. “I should have listened to you, Merlin. Just this once, I think you were right-- even if you are the worst servant in the five kingdoms!” 

By implication, Agravaine is wrong. Arthur won’t say that, of course, but we saw Merlin’s sound advice competing with Agravaine’s lies for this entire episode. We can only conclude that regardless of what he says, Arthur trusts Merlin more than members of his own family. 

And this is a theme which will continue and grow for the remainder of Season 4. 

FURTHER POINTS:

Merlin’s fighting skills

Paradoxes of Arthur and Merlin’s friendship

#merlin #bbc merlin #arthur #king arthur #arthur pendragon #merlin & arthur #merlin & arthur friendship #merlin season 4 #merlin his father's son #merlin 4.05 #queen annis #caerleon #morgana #morgana pendragon #character analysis #plot analysis #merlin fandom #merlin characters #lord agravaine #arthurian legend #uther #king uther #uther pendragon #writeblr

[une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir]

WHERE IS THE REST?

After “Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon” came out, it has come to our knowledge that Stannis will be burning Shireen in the books as well. It was revealed somewhere last summer that Jorah and Grey Worm were supposed to betray Danerys, but then they changed their mind about it.

This isn’t special on its own, but it is once you notice that all of this was hard-coded into the GoT’s foreshadowing a long time ago, for example through transition scenes... yet they dropped plots and cherry picked fanservice what they wanted for the final season.

it’s angering “fun” to see what they foreshadowed through those transition scenes, what made it and what didn’t made it. In specific, D&D have said transition scenes were important, because they say something about them. I cannot find the proper citation for this, but it’s common knowledge.

What I’ll write next is only for ONE episode, but this exercise can be made in SEVERAL episodes, this isn’t an isolated case by any means. (the following is a repurpose of an earlier post I made for this matter and i only have paint ATM, which is why the graphics are so shitty).

S03E01: Valar Dohaeris

Danerys is sailing through the Summer Sea while she watches the dragons fishing. While she’s fond of them, she doesn’t think they’re enough to conquer the Iron Throne so she wants an army. Jorah suggests she buys Unsullied and while she doesn’t like the idea at first because they’re slaves, she eventually relents as she believes it’s mecessary. Later, she arrives in Astapor and tours the Unsullied barracks.

There are two Danerys’ scenes in Valar Dohaeris, which are preceeded and followed by other adjacent scenes which characterise Danerys’ motivations during her stay at Astapor by contrast and parallels. Below, I enclose the scene transtion schematics.

[3] Sansa with Shae in King’s Landing port watching the ships.

[*] Danerys sailing the seas and beng suggested the Unsullied.

[4] Davos confronts Stannis about Melisandre burning people..

[5] The Tyrell siblings and Cersei / Joffrey having dinner where they discuss Margaery’s charity.

[*] Danerys arrives at Astapor and tours the Unsullied barracks.

[3] Sansa is powerlessly watching ships at the port, wishing one of them would take her away from captivity. This is followed by a contrast, Danerys is on a ship doing whatever she wants and going wherever she wants. Danerys and Sansa are foils.

Shae and Sansa play a game about where the ships come from and where they go. At some point, Littlefinger comes to talk to Sansa, promising to take her away

Remember this one for later.

In the show, Ros tells Shae that Sansa’s birth was a joyous day, where the bells were rung from sunrise to sunset. In the books (the equivalent chapter where Danerys sails the seas), Danerys recalls her own birth was during a storm which destroyed her father’s ships. Much later in the show (season 7), Danerys’ birth is brought up again, it’s mentioned that she was born during a storm and the dogs barked the entire night.

There is a clear contrast between these two characters births according to the show canon. Sansa was born and there was joyful bell ringing during the entire day, while Danerys was born and there was ominous barking dogs during the entire night. Take note that the foreboding for Danerys is in the books’ canon as well, as the storm raged all night and destroyed the Targaryen ships.

Sansa cannot go home because she’s a prisoner with no power (no movement), while Danerys is sailing free and returning home because she’s free with power via the dragons (movement).

There is a clear contrast between these two character in agency and power as well, which also translates into how they rule. Sansa is a prisoner that had to learn politics and how to play the game of thrones because she had no dragons to rise to power, while Danerys is free after she births the dragons so she never learnt either because the dragons gave her power.

Danerys doesn’t think the dragons enough to get the Iron Throne and wants an army. Jorah suggests to buy Unsullied and Danerys decides that she will get them. This is followed by [4] Davos confronting Stannis for allowing Melisandre to sentence those that oppose them to burning alive, but Stannis justifies this as necessary for the war he’s fighting. Stannis (through Melisandre) and Danerys as parallels, basically Stannis (through Melisandre) is Danerys on dragon steroids LITE. Stannis and Danerys have many adjacent scenes for this reason (for example, walking into the fire, threatening to burn people, activelly burning people, and so forth...)

Stannis confronts Stannis after he’s informed by Salladhor Saan (earlier in the episode) that Stannis follows what Melisandre tells him to do due to the prophecies she sees in the fire. In parallel, (in the books) Danerys follows what she sees in dragon (fire) dreams and other prophecies as well.

Stannis (through Melisandre) and Danerys both follow prophecies that are associated with fire, which are interpretated to suit their narcissistic delusions of grandeur. The magic is real, the meaning they gave them is not.

Melisandre is said to sing to her enemies as they burned, while (in the books) Danerys is said to “sing” while she commmands the dragons to burn the Unsullied masters (yes, this very story segment we’re on!).

Melisandre asks if Davos remembers all those men burning and yelling for their mothers, while Danerys burns every master in Astapor (including what’s basically children, as she says anyone over the age of 14)

Melisandre is called the “mother of monsters” for creating the shadow assassin through blood magic, while Danerys is called the “mother of dragons” for creating the dragons through blood magic, both using these fire magic instruments against their enemies.

Melisandre and Danerys blood magics are both characterised negatively. As a sidenote, Melisandre’s blood magic is sex and burning blood, while Danerys’ blood magic is burning others. In reality, it’s all the same shit, Melisandre’s sex “equals” to life (conception) and she made the shadow baby (subtle) and Danerys killed three lives for the dragons. Only death can pay for life.

Stannis isn’t so keen on burning prisoners and enemies, but does because he believes it to be justice against the infidels and what’s necessary to win the Iron Throne. In parallel, Danerys isn’t so keen on buying the Unsullied, but she burns the masters because she believes it’s justice and believes them necessary to win the Iron Throne.

Stannis and Danerys may both dislike abhorrent behaviour, but they engage in it regardless because they believe it necessary to achieve their objectes. Theis trend escalates from acceptable targets (the Faith of the Seven statues or Viserys) to uncceptable targets (prisoners of war that oppose them), until it’s unsustainable (Shireen or the citizens of King’s Landing) and then someone kills them. It’s worth noting that in the books, Jorah suggests the Unsullied and Danerys doesn’t even give a shit that they are slaves, getting excited with the idea instead.

[5] Margaery gives food to the poor. After, the Tyrell siblings have dinner with Joffrey and Cersei where they discuss Margaery’s charity, with Cersei implying it’s not genuine. This is followed by Danerys touring the Unsullied barracks, where she notes Kraznys being a dick to the Unsullied, which she later uses an excuse as to why she freed them, bt this isn’t genuine. Danerys and Margaery are (in hindsight) parallels.

Margaery does charity not for altruistic reasons, but because she wants to gain power by currying favour through the people’s support. Likewise, Danerys frees the Unsullied not because she cares about freedom (remember, she wanted to buy them regardless), but because she has no money to buy them and wants good publicity.

Margaery and Danerys are both dishonest about their real motivations for doing good deeds, because they’re basically just publicity stunts to harnass support and power. On one hand, when Margaery is taken by the Faith of the Seven, she eventually admits that she never cared about the poor and in fact hated them, but did what she did for power. On the other hand, when Danerys negotiates with Kraznys, she realises she has no money to buy them and makes sure they’ll follow for sure before dropping the dragon, only after she’s convinced by the dispute between Barristan advocating Rhaegar was loved and that’s why others followed him versus Jorah advocating that Rhaegar was honest and that’s why he died.

Margaery is dressed through these scenes in a similar way as Danerys when she’s pandering to the same “soft-power” tactics.

Good so far? Let’s rewind.

Danerys and Sansa are foils.

Sansa cannot go home because she’s a prisoner with no power (no movement), while Danerys is sailing free and returning home because she’s free with power via the dragons (movement).

Sansa adquires a “dragon” in season 6. He’s not the mythological beast proper, but her cousin Jon Snow, who’s secretely a Targaryen and therefore the “blood of the dragon”. Such, one of Jon’s narrative purposes for Sansa is the same as the dragons for Danerys, Jon’s there to protect and power Sansa, to take her home when others couldn’t or wouldn’t.

Jon protecting Sansa happens from the moment they reunite, as he vows to look after her and not leave her from that point forward (Ned haunting him is just a joke, as in show canon Jon doesn’t believe there’s anything beyond death, as he saw nothing when he did). So Jon protects Sansa from Ramsay and Littlefinger, gets angry on her behalf against Tyrion and Theon, there’s an unexplicable hiatus where he's a different character (what happened?), but at the end Jon returns to character and kills Danerys to protect Sansa.

Jon empowering Sansa, not so much. Jon accepts being King in the North instead of making Sansa the Queen in the North... until the very end and in this King’s Landing port (what were D&D indireectly saying that they wouldn’t say directly?)... where Jon forsakes being King in the North (even though that’s dumb, since he’s in jail now) and names Sansa the Queen in the North instead. It was done late and contrived (Jon has been convicted to “jail”, he could never be king again), but the correct foreshadowing was played straight neverhteless.

Sansa asks Littlefinger to take her home and he says that it’ll be treason since she’s property of the crown, but then promises he’ll try to smuggle her on a ship but she needs to be ready to flee.

Littlefinger doesn’t take Sansa home, he takes her to the Eyrie instead. In the books, Sansa accuses Littlefinger of lying about his promise and he admits it, while telling her to forget Winterfell and make the Eyrie home instead. Some time ater, Littlefinger promises to take Sansa to Winterfell after all if she marries Harry Hardying. A likely story... not. Littlefinger already had promised and lied about it.

In the show, Littlefinger does sell Sansa to the Boltons, so she technically returns home but since she runs away shortly after, there’s that feeling it didn’t count. It’s Jon that truly takes Sansa home, by defeating the Boltons and retaking Winterfell at her behalf because if he decided, he’d rather defect south. So, once again th foreshadowing was played straight.

It has been confirmed that in the books, Littlefinger won’t be selling Sansa to the Boltons, so she cannot return to Winterfell that way, not even technically...  So Sansa will realise Littlefinger will never take her home even if she marries Harry, so she’ll flee the Vale to the Wall, then Jon takes her home.

Sansa plays a game about the ships she’s watching, where they’re headed to and why. The captain is disillusioned with undeserving people and wants to go wait out winter in Dorne where it’s warm.

Sansa is playing a game of pretend, because she has a penchant to sugarcoat than face the reality of things. When Shae asks her why she’s doing it, Sansa says she does it because “the truth is either boring or terrible”. For once, a good original scene. Still, Sansa’s fantasy is quite specific, this captain must represent someone else.

Knowing D&D, thisis to be delivered later like something out of a shopping list later on. So... someone is going to want to escape winter to someplace warm, because they're disillusioned with undeserving people. As a matter of fact, the scene before Sansa crashes the no!funeral at Castle Black, Jon (born in Dorne) embodies it...

Jon Snow. Three out of three.

To summarise, these transition scenes predict Danerys storyline regarding some issues by paralleling Stannis and Margaery scenes, as well as by contrasting Sansa’s scene. This is reciprocal as Danerys’ scenes also predict Stannis and Margaery as well as Sansa’s by paralleling and contrasting with their scenes.

As for Sansa proper, to recap and in broad strokes, Sansa is watching the ships and wishes to go home on one but can't because she is a prisoner with no power, which is contrasted with Danerys sailing on a ship and going home because she's free due to her dragons. In addition, this also foreshadows that Sansa gains a “dragon” later on, who provides freedom and protection as well as takes her home and gives her power, the person being revealed in Sansa’s scene details.

It was all there.

Well not all... I got to say that Littlefinger selling Sansa to the Boltons wasn't the only bulshit D&D pulled on the northern campaign. This is because according to this reading that Jon is Sansa’s dragon, he is supposed to empower Sansa yet he accepts being King in the North instead of her. That's not empowering!

It can work though, for example Jon wanting to crown Sansa as Queen in the North, but then having to backtrack because Tyrion presses his marriage to still be valid, so accepts to be King in the North to protect her. Well, this is the realm of speculation, not the point of this post, which was “where’s the rest”...

WHERE’S THE REST?

Let's backpedal a little. Amongst the things Littlefinger says...

Littlefinger: You are the property of the crown. Stealing you would be treason.

In ASOIAF / GoT, a man stealing a woman is wildling code for marriage. This is bad, I don’t like this... because Petyr Baelish stealing Sansa Stark from the Lannister crown is not cool.... but no, as seen from the previous points the metaphor here is meant to be Jon Snow so...

Jonathan Snowflake, who is accused of stealing a redhead around this time in the narrative, later thinks about stealing a woman when confronted with the opportunity to take Winterfell from Lady Lannister, is accused of being half-wilding and having a bizarre endgame where he's suggested to be a wildling but not really since they mention he’s still in the Watch (what was that)...

Jon Snow stealing Sansa Stark.

Knowingly. Willingly.

Jon Snow stealing Sansa Stark from the crown..., which incidently is the Lannister crown, when Sansa is married to Tyrion Lannister. ... Uhm... Tyrion Lannister, who incidently features in the scene preceding this exact one, where Tywin Lannister denies him Casterly Rock and promises him a bride... which is Sansa. Lawl at foreshadowing choochoo train being all matchy matchy with each other.

Jon Snow stealing Sansa Stark from Tyrion Lannister.

I’d like to see it. Where is it?

As a side-note, Sansa's scene details of the ship captain and Littlefinger’s speech is interesting because they might hint at a scrapped storyline for how this entire would have developed, a storyline closer to the books.

Sansa: It's carrying silk and it's supposed to bring back wine in exchange, but it's not coming back.

Sansa imagines the captain leaves with the excuse he's going for a trade deal to exchange silk for wine (food) and in the books, food is actually a big deal with Jon being concerned about food often, at some point saying their best hope to get some arse is the Eyrie. For example, Jon pretending he's going to the Vale with Sansa to get food but then defecting for her sake fits.

Littlefinger: I saw your mother not long ago. She's very eager to see you. And your sister. Sansa: Arya's alive?

Littlefinger mentions Cat and Arya, which is interesting because in the books, Cat prowls as the undead Lady Stoneheart, having taken Brienne who’s looking for Sansa, and Jeyne Poole is impersonating as Arya Stark (she’s the one that marries Ramsay). So these threads may be more connected to Sansa fleeing the Vale than previously thought. Perhaps Stoneheart told Brienne where Sansa is, perhaps Sansa finds out about fake!Arya and that’s why she decides to flee.

Well.. that’s also the realm of speculation...

By the way... armed with this post, answer the following GoT’s endgame questions:

Danerys burning King’s Landing because she believes it’s justice against her enemies and necessary to win the iron chair was out of character?

Jon didn’t notice that Danerys was an arsonist lizard even worse than Stannis and Melisandre?

[INSERT JON BANNING MELISANDRE FROM THE NORTH HERE]

Jon didn’t notice that Danerys was a fake altruist bitch like Margaery?

I’d like to see it. Where is it?

WHAT HAPPENED?

#bulshit that's what happened #jonsa #anti jonerys #anti daenerys #i only have paint on this laptop and i don't FEEL like installing tumblr on my laptop

[foxghost]

Joyful Reunion, Chapter 64

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 2, Chapter 15 (Part 2)

The dining hall falls quiet for a while as something seems to be occupying Bian Lingbai’s mind, and he keeps glancing at Duan Ling; in the end, it is Duan Ling who speaks first to break this awkward silence. “When is the wedding?”

“During the seventh month,” Yao Jing replies. “Uncle Yao Fu told me to wait in Tongguan, as the groom’s family in Xiliang will send someone for me.”

“You’ve had a rough journey,” Bian Lingbai says to Yao Jing. “You don’t have any servants you’re used to right now, so your Uncle Bian will make sure to give you a full retinue to take with you. If you want you can also ask that steward of yours to keep an eye out in the marketplace.”

“Sure,” Yao Jing replies, and seemingly reminded that her maid and servants were killed by those bandits, her expression darkens.

“You should go get some rest.” Bian Lingbai tells her.

Yao Jing nods and takes her leave. Duan Ling watches her go, feeling slightly baffled.

It’s one thing for the Marquess of Huaiyin’s niece from the Jiangzuo region to be married off all the way to Xiliang, but for her to have so few servants and end up getting kidnapped along the way is another thing altogether. Instead of the tradition of being picked up by her Tangut groom’s family in her hometown, she’s been sent here to Tongguan instead; on top of that, the entire business of the engagement is left in Bian Lingbai’s hands. What in the world is going on?

The only possibility is that … she’s out of favour with the marquess.

“What is it?” Bian Lingbai takes a sip of wine and says to Duan Ling, “Have you taken a fancy to the Yao family’s young lady?”

Duan Ling laughs. “Even if I fancy her it’s not like I’ll ever have a chance.”

Bian Lingbai bursts out laughing, finding Duan Ling’s candid ways rather amusing. He explains, “Your uncle was going to form a marriage alliance with the Yaos back in the day, but alas his own children were all too young and hadn’t reached marriageable age. So he actually asked me if it’s possible to arrange Yao Zheng for his nephew — he must have meant you. If he’s still alive, he wouldn’t have thought much of this young woman.”

Duan Ling nods, his expression coloured with melancholy.

Bian Lingbai says, “In a little while, the groom’s party from Xiliang will be here to pick her up. Once I’m done with those arrangements I’ll take some time to help you settle in.”

“I have something with me as well,” Duan Ling says, “I came all the way here to bring it to you, Uncle Bian …”

“Hm?” Bian Lingbai glances at Duan Ling absently, but Wu Du is frowning slightly, and then he coughs once.

Duan Ling looks at Wu Du as if asking for his approval, and Wu Du looks a bit displeased, the furrow between his brows deepening.

Duan Ling nods at Wu Du, but by now Bian Lingbai is getting somewhat impatient. “What are you being so secretive about?”

Duan Ling reaches into his lapel for an item, and stepping forward he hands it to Bian Lingbai. Bian Lingbai isn’t paying attention to it at first, and only once Duan Ling has untied the silk ribbon around the treasure map and unrolled it slowly in front of him does Bian Lingbai turn his attention onto Duan Ling’s face.

“What is this?”

Duan Ling thinks, this is the treasure map you’ve been looking for all along, but he doesn’t dare put it like that. He merely gives Bian Lingbai a nod and gets back to his own seat.

Wu Du scoffs. “Lucky you.”

Nonplussed, Bian Lingbai picks up the map by the edges and stares at it. Then with a sudden shudder his expression quickly changes and he turns to Duan Ling with an incredulous look on his face.

“My uncle hid it in the folds of a strategy manual and had it brought to me.” Duan Ling explains in detail the story he made up himself; basically, it’s about how Zhao Kui had great expectations of him, and asked him to familiarise himself with books on military strategy. He also hid this map in the cover and gave it to him so that once the pages of the Art of War have been turned so many times that the book falls apart, the map will reveal itself.

The story itself is actually full of holes — why would Zhao Kui not leave such a wonderful thing to his own son, and give it to his nephew instead, for instance — but the moment Duan Ling spies the look in Bian Lingbai’s eyes, he knows that nothing else really matters anymore.

“Wonderful … This is wonderful.” A strange look comes over Bian Lingbai’s eyes as he stares unblinkingly at the treasure map.

As Duan Ling looks into those eyes, he gets the distinct feeling that he seems to have seen that look somewhere before.

It’s the same look Cai Yan used to have in his eyes when he stared at Duan Ling’s jade arc.

Duan Ling only experiences a momentary lapse of attention before he’s dragged back to reality by Bian Lingbai’s crazed laughter.

“Wonderful! Wonderful!” Bian Lingbai says, “Wait here a moment.”

He promptly puts away the treasure map and leaves the room without saying anything else.

A bewildered Duan Ling turns to see what Wu Du will say, but instead of talking to him Wu Du simply keeps eating. Even as the night-watchmen have started ringing the first of the night watch, Bian Lingbai still hasn’t come back.

He’s probably gone to verify the map’s authenticity, Duan Ling surmises, and wonders if things will go smoothly if their plan continues to unfold in this direction. As they’re not alone he dares not converse with Wu Du, so once he finishes eating, he waits quietly. By the time a guard shows up to bring Duan Ling to Bian Lingbai’s study, it’s already quite late in the night, but the guard asks Wu Du not to follow.

Duan Ling and Wu Du exchange glances. Wu Du nods at him. They know that the true test of Duan Ling’s abilities has come.

Bian Lingbai is sitting in the study with an elderly man by his side, and judging by the man’s appearance he’s not young anymore, but he doesn’t wear a beard. With a pair of gloves on, he’s carefully examining the treasure map, looking up to give Duan Ling a nod when he comes in.

“This here is Master Fei.” Bian Lingbai says to Duan Ling, “His first name is Hongde, and he’s two generations your senior. He has worked for your uncle, as well as the late emperor. He is extremely knowledgeable.”

Duan Ling greets him politely.

“Where did you get this map?” The elderly man asks Duan Ling.

Thereby Duan Ling roughly repeats the explanation he gave Bian Lingbai earlier. The elderly man then gives him a slow nod, smiles, and says to Bian Lingbai, “Congratulations, general. Once you unearth this buried treasure, it will be enough to satisfy whatever our army may need.”

Bian Lingbai says to the elderly man, “Truly the heavens are on my side. When do you think will be a good time to start excavating, Master Fei?”

“We must wait a little while longer.” Fei Hongde rolls the map back up and returns it to Bian Lingbai. “No matter what, you must make sure this comes to the attention of no one else. I will survey the location personally, and let you know as soon as I find anything.”

On second thought, Bian Lingbai supposes that’s prudent, and he quickly nods to agree. “Should I send a squad of men over to keep watch over the area for now?”

Fei Hongde explains, “You can send some men disguised as mounted bandits and tell them to keep watch at the foot of the mountain, but since no one’s been there in twenty years I’m sure nothing can go wrong now. At the moment, you, me, and young Mister Zhao are the only ones who know of its existence, and I’m sure we can keep a secret. There’s no need for you to worry, General Bian.”

“Yes,” Bian Lingbai says, “You’re quite right.”

As he finishes speaking, Bian Lingbai breaks out once more into a belly laugh. He beckons Duan Ling over to sit at his side, claps him over the shoulder, and says, “The heavens have sent you here to aid me — this deed shall be done!”

Duan Ling smiles and nods, putting on a good show of being happy for Bian Lingbai. But Fei Hongde is staring at Duan Ling. “You must have had a difficult journey. I’d also just come back from Xiliang.”

Duan Ling says, “It was alright. I had Wu Du with me.”

Fei Hongde hums in agreement before continuing, “When did you cross into Xichuan?”

“Around the beginning of the year,” Duan Ling tells Fei Hongde.

“A number of the Shandong Guard used to work for your dad, and after they were relieved from duty they joined the Ministry of War. It’s surprising to me that you did not go looking for them but went to Wu Du instead. That was a good move on your part.”

“I couldn’t let them know I’m alive; after all, it’s hard to see what a person’s really thinking.”

Fei Hongde nods. “After that cousin of yours got married, where did she end up settling down?”

Duan Ling’s heart is beating out of his chest. He knows Fei Hongde is only pretending to reminisce with him while verifying his identity. Good thing he made sure to do his homework before his arrival. He asks, “Which cousin?”

Fei Hongde smiles. “Well, that I don’t quite remember. Back in the day when I was working for the late emperor in Shandong, I heard that you had a cousin on the maternal side with a face that could sink a thousand ships …”

“Fourth sister.” Duan Ling says immediately, “She fell ill later on.”

Fei Hongde nods slowly, and Bian Lingbai says to Duan Ling, “Master Fei has been everywhere. Even though he’s Tangut by birth, he’s an exceptional writer among those in my army. You can ask him for help with your studies.”

“Certainly,” Duan Ling replies.

Fei Hongde says to Bian Lingbai, “General, you still need to bring me a map of the area outside Tongguan so that we can discuss this in detail.”

Duan Ling knows his work is done here; Bian Lingbai then proceeds to shower him with advice and kind words, telling Duan Ling to get some rest. His present attitude towards Duan Ling compared to when he freshly arrived is already as different as night and day; he’s acting like an older brother.

Once Duan Ling is gone, Bian Lingbai turns to Fei Hongde and asks, “What do you think?”

Fei Hongde meditates on this a moment before replying, “There’s no problem with his identity. He should indeed be a member of Zhao Pu’s family.”

It’s only then that Bian Lingbai puts his mind at ease. “There is also the possibility that he’s an imposter.”

"Unlikely. You saw him too; this boy must have come from a literati family, and he shows the bearing of the descendent of a military man. He says little, but he’s quite natural and sedate when he does speak. When facing you, he’s not afraid — all that confidence is right there in his heart. That is absolutely not just any cowering boy one can find anywhere. Where would Wu Du even try to find a young man like that? And besides, doing so won’t do him any good.

Bian Lingbai supposes he’s right; what could Wu Du ever hope to gain by escorting a young man a thousand miles with a treasure map just to deliver money to him?

“That knave first betrayed General Zhao, then he killed Li Jianhong.” Bian Lingbai’s not even sure how he’s supposed to feel about this. “Even if he’s living under Mu Kuangda’s protection now, I’m sure he’s having a hard time of it. He must be trying to find some other livelihood.”

"Wu Du is a hesitant, indecisive man. Moreover, once he’s taken shelter with the Mu family, Chang Liujun will surely try to keep him down — he’d never tolerate Wu Du making a name for himself. He has nowhere left to go other than to come pledge his allegiance to you. This is to be expected.”

“If Helan Jie hasn’t come to me before he did … Having Wu Du at my disposal is not a bad thing.”

Fei Hongde heaves a sigh and says to Bian Lingbai, "Speaking of Helan Jie, I stand by my objection to your taking him in. If the government ever finds out he’s working for you, you won’t ever be able to clear yourself of any ties to the late emperor’s death.”

“Oh never mind that.” Bian Lingbai waves off his words with impatience. “You don’t need to say any more.”

Fei Hongde nods. “I will set out on surveying this area in the next several days.”

Fei Hongde rises and takes his leave. After he leaves the room, a seemingly perpetual smile returns to Bian Lingbai’s face. He unrolls the map, and looks at it over and over again, greed plain in his expression.

Late in the night Wu Du and Duan Ling head back to their rooms through the winding corridor.

A cool breeze wafts by. Duan Ling suddenly stops walking, and feeling something strange in the air, he stands in front of the covered gallery.

A full moon hangs over Tongguan, so big that it doesn’t even look real, spilling its pale silvery light upon the earth. Wu Du comes to a stop and turns to look at Duan Ling, one perplexed eyebrow raised.

“What is it?” Wu Du asks.

Duan Ling shakes his head; he has an odd feeling, but it’s not anything he can describe.

Wu Du stands behind Duan Ling and puts a hand on his shoulder, and together they look up beyond the courtyard. Beneath the bright moon Duan Ling has a false sense of who he is, as though he’s really become this “Zhao Rong”.

“The waters of Lake Dian, the moon of Tongguan,” Wu Du says, “the pine trees of Mount Yuheng, the snow of Languan.”2

Duan Ling immediately turns his head to say to Wu Du. “You know about that too?”

“Know about what?” Wu Du says, sounding bewildered.

“Those …” Duan Ling is reminded of those vast lands of the central plain Li Jianhong once spoke of, and he mediates for a moment on his thoughts before saying, “My dad also used to say that there are far too many beautiful places in the world.”

“Those born unbound in the itinerant layer of society have hearts that long to roam,” Wu Du says offhandedly.

“I see now this is what he meant by ‘the moon of Tongguan’. And there’s also the maple forests beneath Yubiguan …”

“You’ll see it someday,” Wu Du tells Duan Ling, “let’s go.”

“Do you mean to say you’ll take me there?”

“You can go ahead and think that if you’d like.”

They can’t say too much in Bian Lingbai’s estate, but he knows what Wu Du is trying to tell him; once they finish their work there, if he really wants to go, of course Wu Du can take him on a trip.

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also e that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

Lake Dian is in Yunnan, Mount Yuheng is by the new capital, Jiangzhou, while “the snow of Languan” refers to a line in a poem. Languan isn’t a “pass”, but a mountain path in Qinling. (Tongguan is by Qinling) The poem referenced how the snow in Languan pass is piled so high that even horses would halt at the sight of it. ↩︎

#相見歡 #fei tian ye xiang #joyful reunion #xiang jian huan #fox translates things

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 29

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: when you quote west side story you do know things are not about to get any better *nervous laughter* hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

The environment was calm with baby blue and white walls. The only sounds existing in the room being that of the machines beeping and the small breathing sounds coming from the two people in the bedroom. It was quiet, very quiet, but the quietness only contributed to the peaceful nature of the hospital bedroom. 

The slight beeping of the door being opened caused the attention of the French woman to leave from her newborn daughter to the man who had just came in holding a bouquet of white lilies. 

     - I didn’t know what type of flowers would be suitable for someone who just gave birth. - he smiled, taking a seat on the cushioned chair by her bed. - How are my girls?

    - I am alright. Ella’s just been sleeping, I think that’s all she does. - the baby sleep peacefully against her chest, lightly suckling on her mother’s pinkie finger without a single care in the world. - Do you know when we can go home? It’s becoming a bit tiring to be in here. 

   - Robin. - the man sighed. - It’s safer for you to be here than to be home. We cannot return home until we’re certain that no harm can come to you or to Ella. 

   - But we got extra security besides ... I sense something bad is coming.

   - That is just your “momma bear” coming out. You’re safe here, there’s staff and security everywhere. 

   - I hope you’re right. - she sighed, looking at the baby. - I really hope you’re right. 

Y/N stared at him with the sort of curiosity one does whenever confronted with a hard choice. She could just end it, she could just put a stop to it and spare Gwen the pain and shame of being cheated on before she even got married, spare Sebastian and her the childish illusions that everything would be okay. She could just end it, she could just run away and start somewhere new but something always stopped it. Turns out, she couldn’t just end it, she couldn’t just stop falling more and more in love with him, she couldn’t just pretend she could just leave and things would be alright. So once again, she’d rather pretend that everything is alright, everything’s fine. 

She took a step towards him, her shoe front hitting his ever so slightly before she wrapped her arms around him, hiding her head in the space between his shoulder and neck, inhaling his cologne. Sebastian relished and relaxed in her embrace, kissing the crown of her head in means to comfort her.

     - Stay. - he mumbled through her hair, holding her tightly in his arms as if she would fade into air if his grip loosened. Y/N on the other hand was again trying to convince herself that there was a place for them, somewhere in time a place where there could be together without any other external factors. Nevertheless, that place filled with quiet and open air seemed to be nowhere near as breaking through those thoughts were the distant sounding laughter and chatting of people inside the dinning hall celebrating his engagement. Her gaze moved from the room to his face, to his beautiful eyes who stared into her with a look of pure naive hope. - Angel, I ...

    - Mr. Stan? - the two of them left the embrace as someone got closer to the balcony, calling out for him. Her gaze left his to stare at her shoes, shifting her weight from side to side as one of his lesser associates came into the balcony, giving the handmaid a dirty look. - There are some people inside trying to congratulate you. 

   - I’ll be right with you, I just need t ...

   - No, it’s alright. Go. - Y/N interrupted him, giving him a simple characteristic smile. She didn’t want to be the reason why he got himself in trouble and she also didn’t want to make it seem like they were intimate to the rest of the world. Sebastian, however, took a double take, wondering if he should stay and finish his sentence but the associate keeping on calling made him leave her there in the balcony.

The handmaid just sighed, leaning against the railing of the balcony, head heavy with various concerns that probably should’ve weight on her decision back when she decided to get together with him. Before she could decide what else to do, Mr. Dubois had joined her in the balcony, offering her one of the champagne flutes that seemed to float around the party. Despite not being in the mood to drink, she decided to accept it anyway. 

    - So, a handmaid? Pardon my curiosity, I have never met one in my whole life. What does it entail?

    - It’s the same thing as medieval time handmaids. You’re by the heiress’ side making sure she’s happy. - it was an over-explanation of what her job truly entailed but Y/N didn’t have enough time to completely go through what being a handmaid truly was like. - You mentioned the Deschamps. Excuse me asking but I’ve been in this environment since I was younger and I never heard about that mob family.

   - Oh they’re not a mob family. The Deschamps aren’t part of the mob however they are rich, they had money even after the French Revolution. They own more New York real state than the Stans so they normally make an appearance at every single event. 

   - I thought the Stans owned all of the Upper East Side. 

   - They wished. - he scoffed. - I remember a time when one of the mob families tried to get an engagement with a Deschamps. Can’t remember her name, though. Rosemarie, maybe.

   - Never heard of it. - Y/N shrugged. - Enjoying the party so far?

   - I didn’t expect Genevieve Forrest to be that frivolous. It’s nothing like her father. 

   - She’s young. 

   - You can only blame so much on age, Miss Y/N. 

The talk was mostly void of interest, just a polite dance she used to do with anyone and everyone who spoke to her. Once the part became too much for her to handle, she took back to her bedroom sitting down in her bed with various questions going through her mind. Her eyes quickly gazed over her laptop laying on top of her suitcase. She shouldn’t, this was just putting herself deeper and deeper down a hole that kept bringing her more sleepless nights. Yet, as per usual, Y/N did not stop herself and soon enough she found herself with her laptop on her lap, Google on as she typed that very spoke about name. Deschamps. As she finished typing that name and pressed enter several pictures showed up along with a bit of information. Turns out Mr. Dubois was right, they were rich, filthy rich and by the look of it, mostly based in Saint-Nom-La-Bretèch. As she went through the pictures, one of them caught her attention as in the picture stood quite a big crowd of people but one woman in particular standing at the front shared a significant resemblance to the Robin woman that had kept showing on Sebastian’s and Mr. Forrest’s attic. However, the golden necklace that now laid in the middle of Y/N’s collarbones was missing from the woman’s neck in the picture.

Curiously, Y/N clicked the link connected to the photo which led to an article about the acquisition of the Metropolitan Opera House in New York. The picture on the article had a legend and as she went through, she reached the name of the only woman in the figure; Rosemarie Deschamps, the eldest daughter of Michael Deschamps. Surprised, Y/N closed her laptop forcefully, hiding behind her duvet like a scared child. It was just in her mind, it was just in her mind, she didn’t need to know, why did she need to know. Even if she was related to the Deschamps she was probably a bastard child whom the Forrests took pity on. 

With those thoughts, she dozed off to sleep. Between all of this and her relationship with Sebastian she didn’t exactly know how she could sleep peacefully and throughout the night she kept somehow waking up in cold sweats. When she finally managed to have more than just a few minutes of sleep around sunrise, a loud knock followed by her name being screamed in a high pitched female voice took her right off her sleeping state. Great. Through her sleepiness, she mumbled for however it was at the door to come in. In came Gwen dressed like a Givenchy model in a harsh shade of green and white. 

    - Y/N, I need a favour. - she sat on the edge of her bed. - I have my wedding dress fitting today but I really can’t be asked besides Christian and I were thinking about going for brunch. 

    - We’re not the same size. - Y/N mumbled against her pillow, sleep trying to fight through her awareness. 

    - Just check if the dress is okay. C’mon Y/N. - Gwen pulled the duvet away from her. - Please, I covered for you.

   - Okay.

Gwen clapped in excitement before pulling the handmaid up to her bedroom which was filled to the brim with people carrying needles and threads along with various swatches of fabric. Before Y/N could question what was happening, she was brought by one of the woman to stand in front of the mirror while another one opened a white box pulling out Gwen’s wedding dress. Gwen was nowhere to be seen, probably already left and before Y/N could even check for that, the dress was being pushed down her, sitting a bit too loose. Her eyes glued to the mirror as she saw herself in the wedding dress, the white fabric almost glistening with the light. It was a beautiful dress, mostly made out of fabric.

  - Genevieve, we need to spe ... - Y/N turned around at the different voice that came from the door. Sebastian was leaning against it, almost sure his eyes were playing tricks on him as he observed Y/N dressed in bridal fashion. - Angel, what are you doing here?

  - Gwen asked me to cover for her. - she didn’t even lie anymore, instead facing him with the truth that he would probably hear from everyone else. - Is it important?

  - PR bullshit, if you ask me. - he took a step towards her, fully inspecting the gown wrapped around the handmaid. - You look stunning.

  - It’s not my dress. - she forcefully smiled, not sure if she should cry or not. It wasn’t everyday that you get dressed in the wedding dress belonging to the woman who’s about to get married to the man she was hopelessly in love with.

Yet again, she kept digging herself a hole which she wasn’t sure she could ever come out from. 

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#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #mob!sebastian stan #mob boss!sebastian stan #mobster!sebastian stan #mafia!sebastian stan #mafia boss!sebastian stan

[dresupi]

Kings & Queens - Sansberyn

for vampireacademy96 2,158 words Rated T Kings & Queens - Ava Max

~~~~~~~~~~

Sansa was over it. She was supposed to be meeting her betrothed tonight, and she already wished she’d found a way to sneak off. There wasn’t a way to do so now, however. She was going to have to meet Oberyn Martell whether she wanted to or not.

Well, of course she wanted to meet him. She’d always sort of wanted to meet him, ever since she was an adolescent and Oberyn Martell was the tabloid-coined “Bad Boy of the Royals”. He’d garnered quite a reputation. Even earned himself a nickname. The Red Viper.

Even though she wasn’t entirely sure what it was for.

She twirled her hair around her finger. That was what made this all the more ridiculous. He was at least fifteen years her senior and never married. Under what sun was this man going to be interested in her?

Besides, having a crush on someone and being nudged into an arranged marriage with them were two entirely different things.

The royal marriage law was antiquated anyway, even if Sansa thought her mother was secretly happy it still existed. Sansa was liable not to get married at all if she wasn’t required to by law, so it was the queen’s only hope at marrying off her oldest daughter. Arya wasn’t looking to get married either, but at least she was so far down the line of succession it didn’t matter.

Robb was the first in line. He’d gotten married and was expecting his first child, so why was she required to do this, anyway? With the way Marg and Robb looked at each other, they’d probably have like a billion kids and Sansa would never have to worry about marrying well to produce an heir.

But Mum was definitely worried about it so here she was, arranging a meeting between Prince Oberyn Martell and her daughter. He was a Prince of Dorne, no less. He’d no sooner be interested in her than she’d be interested in the animals her brother hunted. Not that she was an animal, but it was a metaphor, obviously.

If her mother and father could have scoured the world for someone with less in common than Sansa Stark than a Dornish prince, Sansa wasn’t sure she wanted to meet that person.

As it stood, the prince had travelled from a long way to meet her. And likely wasn’t any more inclined to the match than she was. So they could meet, see there were no sparks, and move on.

It was one night. One dinner.

She could do this.

Inhaling deeply, she rose from her chair in front of her vanity. She’d dressed for dinner, seeing as Mum and Dad had called for a full-service feast just to introduce her to this man. Well, her mother had. Dad had warned that it made them look desperate when they weren’t even announcing an engagement, but Mum had replied, “We are desperate, dear.” And Sansa had rolled her eyes.

She was wearing a gown with silver and grey stitched into a brocade. The brocade pattern featured a pack of direwolves running through the forest. She actually really liked this dress, so she supposed she could look at this as an occasion to wear it. The dress did deserve a banquet in its honour, so it was easier to look at it that way.

Margaery met her at her door so they could enter the dining room together. Robb wasn’t here tonight, he was out on a hunt and likely wouldn’t be back until early morning, so Margaery and Sansa had agreed to walk to dinner together. Even though they wouldn’t be seated together or enter together, seeing as it was a formal banquet.

“That gown,” Margaery said softly, reaching out to brush her fingers over the brocade pattern on the skirt.

“I know,” Sansa said with a grin.

“I am going to have so many dresses made once I have this child,” Margaery said, laughing as she ran her hand over her swelling abdomen. “So. Oberyn Martell...” Sansa laughed as her sister-in-law switched gears suddenly. “Did you google him at all?”

“I didn’t have to. I already know everything there is to know about him. He’s quite fond of the nightlife, and he’s not entirely difficult to look at.”

She was playing down her early-adolescent crush on the man. That wasn’t knowledge she wanted to get out.

“Not entirely---“ Margaery dropped off at the end. “Sansa. He’s a gorgeous man.”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “Aren’t they all?”

“No, I mean it. You have seen him, right?”

“Yes, I’ve seen him. He’s handsome,” Sansa replied. “I’m just absolutely certain we won’t have anything in common.”

“Oh, and Robb and I do?” her sister-in-law scoffed.

“Well... you two are the exception to the arranged marriage horror,” Sansa replied. “You two clicked immediately and you love each other now.”

“Now, yes. And let me tell you, the fact that your brother is easy on the eyes helped things sway in his favour considerably.”

Sansa laughed as they reached the hallway outside of the dining room.

Margaery had to enter before her, given that her title was higher than Sansa’s, but Sansa liked that she got some time to collect herself.

“I’m only saying. Give him another look. And another chance,” Marg’s parting wisdom, was as ever, apropos.

Her unspoken, immature crush on the Dornish Prince notwithstanding, it was such a surprise that her mother even considered him as a possible suitor. He seemed the type she’d scorn with a wrinkle of her nose before moving on to more worthy suitors for her oldest daughter. But perhaps Margaery was right. All that was years ago, and he was older. Perhaps he’d matured.

Sansa was a grown woman now as well. Halfway through her twenties and with six years of university under her belt. She wasn’t a blushing princess any longer.

Well, she was still a princess, but blushing, she was not.

Until she walked into the dining room and laid eyes on him.

Oh, the years had been very kind to Oberyn Martell. Or perhaps, he’d always looked like this and the most she’d ever seen of him was from the Paparazzi photographs that emblazoned the covers of the trashy tabloids she had brought to her each week.

He hadn’t graced the covers recently either.

At any rate, Marg was astute in her statement that he was a gorgeous man.

Gods, he was so gorgeous.

And Sansa could scarcely find her voice when it was finally her turn to meet him. “Your Royal Highness,” she said, with a nod. She didn’t have to curtsey to him, their titles were technically the same.

He smirked and mirrored her. “Your Royal Highness.”

They were seated together, of course. But they were also seated near her mother and father, and the former monopolized the conversation to try and push them into some sort of repartee, and the whole thing fell flat.

Sansa, annoyed with her mother’s constant machinations, rose to take a stroll on the balcony between the dinner dishes being cleared and dessert being served. Oberyn stood as well, and while she assumed it to be merely decorum, he asked permission to join her on her walk.

Catelyn nearly fell out of her chair with the force of her self-induced launch towards the pair to follow them onto the balcony, and subsequent return at the behest of Ned. “Do stay and speak with me, darling. I need your guidance on a matter of utmost importance.”

He winked discreetly at Sansa, who turned back to Oberyn to accept his invitation for company.

As they walked along the stone balcony, the light from the adjacent rooms flooded the stone in arches when they passed the windows.

“So, you said before that you finished your degree?” Oberyn asked, in relation to the last thing they’d attempted to discuss in the dining room, only to be interrupted by Cat, who wanted to divert attention away from Sansa’s degrees as much as possible.

“I did,” Sansa replied. “I’ve a master’s now in Art History.”

“Truly?” Oberyn mused. “Never had the patience for university myself. That’s quite an achievement.”

Sansa smiled. “At first glance. You still haven’t asked what my emphasis was in.”

“Art?” he guessed, laughing.

She laughed too.

“Or history?” he ventured again, clearly joking and giving her the opening to supply the correct answer.

“Textiles,” she replied with a laugh. “I study old cloth. And notably, fashion from hundreds of years ago.”

“Now, why wouldn’t you lead with that? It’s much more interesting than merely holding a degree in Art History.”

“My mother was solidly against my choice of emphasis. She wanted me to become more well-rounded by university, not sharpened to a point. Not ‘obsessed’ with old dresses, as she so eloquently phrases it. What about you? I know you said you didn’t go to university, but you must have done something these past few years.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked. “Because I wasn’t in the papers so much?” His voice belied his curiosity.

“I never said that,” Sansa replied.

“Didn’t have to...” he stopped walking and her heart sank.

She’d offended him. She had to fix it.

“I don’t judge you for anything you did or didn’t do,” she said quickly. “If I’d been half as bold, I’d have done the same.”

“I never implied that I thought you were passing judgement, but that is indeed good to know,” he mused, walking once more.

She fell into step beside him. “Your Highness, I simply wished to---“

“I like you. A lot. Despite how my brother talked you up and forced me to come on this trip... As much as I don’t want to bend to his wishes, I like you, Sansa.”

“I like you as well.”

“Good. Because I have a proposition for you.”

“You do?”

“Indeed. I think it would be mutually beneficial for both of us.”

“What is that?”

“We bend to their wishes. And then, to each other.”

“What, I...”

“Have you taken lovers before?” he asked, his eyes fiery and dark.

“Yes,” she replied. “As have you.”

He smiled. “As have I. I propose... we should get married. Keep the lot of them off our backs, and you will be able to continue sharpening your points, so long as you don’t object to sharpening them while travelling with me.”

“I...”

She liked the idea. If anyone had asked her before now, honestly, she wouldn’t have. But the thought of travelling the world with Oberyn Martell was one she’d like to explore. She had but one reservation.

“You’re suggesting a loveless marriage?”

“I’m suggesting a loveless wedding,” he countered. “Love doesn’t come until the fires of passion have smouldered. And considering we have yet to even light a match, how could we possibly marry for love?”

“It’s awfully pragmatic of you. What if we never fall in love?”

“Then, we separate. Go our own way, take our own lovers, but under the umbrella of safety that a royal marriage provides. We’ll never be bothered again by our families.”

“I think you underestimate the meddling powers of my mother.”

“Oh, I’ll be whisking my bride away to Dorne immediately following our ridiculously long honeymoon.”

Sansa had to admit, she liked the sound of that.  Dorne was warm and sunny where the North was cold and dark. She’d be able to sunbathe. To watch her children grow and play in the sunlight.

“Children?” she asked.

“As many as you want.”

“If I didn’t want any?”

“Then none.”

“If I wanted eighteen?”

“Then we’d better get started.” He smiled, reaching for her hand, but stopping shy of touching it.

She closed the distance and laced their fingers. As they began to walk once more, she asked. “When should we tell them?”

“Why not tonight?”

She laughed. “We can’t tonight.”

“We can’t?”

“We don’t know enough about each other. Why, we’ve never even kissed.”

She wasn’t asking to be kissed, but she wouldn’t complain at all that she subsequently was kissed.

Oberyn tugged her close with the hand that was clasped in his, tucking his other hand around her lower back and lowering his lips to hers. It was sudden and slow at the same time.

She brought her hand to his jaw, cupping it and rubbing her thumb over his facial hair.

When he ended the kiss, she staggered slightly, but he just tightened his hold on her and grinned. “How’s that?”

“Right, let’s go tell them now,” she said, turning and tugging him along with her.

He laughed and pulled her back once more. “In a minute...”

She smiled and wrapped both arms around his neck. “I suppose we can wait for a minute...”

“Or five...”

“Or twenty,” she breathed.

“Kiss me,” he murmured.

It was actually more like thirty-five, and they almost missed dessert.

She was so glad she hadn’t found a reason to sneak off.

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