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reverieblondie · 6 months

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Scary Movie Night

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara X Fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Smut with Plot, Praise, Unprotected Penetrative Sex (wrap it before you tap it), Full nelson, Oral, Cum eating, Reverse cowgirl.

Summary: Halloween Night and horror movies what could go wrong?

A/N: I can not do kinktober because I write to slow, so this is my Halloween fic instead. Also if you have sent me a request I am working on it so please be patient! If you enjoyed this Halloween themed Fic, please checkout my Halloween Fic with Peter B Parker here.

Word Count: 6,582

“Oh no please don’t kill me Mr. Ghostface I want to be in the sequel!”

Halloween night, alone with no plans but to watch the horror movie marathon on TV, pass out candy to trick-or-treaters, and gorge yourself on candy and popcorn.

The movie marathon was going strong. You had started with Nightmare on Elm Street, and now you have moved on to Scream. The marathon was the perfect way to get into the Halloween spirit. Halloween was the perfect night to get your spook on, everyone is entitled to one good scare on the spookiest night of the year. However, you didn't foresee yourself getting scared from the movies with having to constantly get up to pass out candy to eager trick-or-treaters.

The doorbell rang out causing you to heave yourself from the couch dusting popcorn derby from your chest you flip on your interior lights and answer the door.

“Trick or Treat!”

The little Bundle of kids cheered. Ranging in ages you surveyed the group with a smile. A sweet little princess, an impressive robot, and an oddly adorable zombie, with them a tepid teenager with his scary werewolf mask on top of his head. You assume the babysitter for the night. Quickly complementing their costumes you gave them each a handful of the sugary treats they were so desperate for. Chirping a thank you they all run off to the next house over.

Smiling as they run off you scan the crisp autumn night watching the masses of excited children cheering and laughing as they run from house to house. As you are greeting some more treaters running to your door, something catches your eye.

A dark figure seems to be slowly walking in the shadows of the sidewalks carefully avoiding running children and lights as it walks carefully by, surveying the rows of houses. Watching intently you quickly pass out the candy while trying to get a good look at the figure. Then one of the kids chirps a thank you causing you to smile down at them, once the kids run off your porch you look for the figure in the night and it seems to have disappeared. Okay, that was creepy. Maybe it was just a harmless kid, don't work yourself up.

And you didn’t the whole weird sighting had completely left your mind. You had finished Scream and moved on to Halloween, is it even truly Halloween if you haven't watched this movie at least once? Enthralled in the movie your lights are turned dim to get you into the atmosphere of the film. Then something makes you jump, and it wasn’t the shape on the screen.

Whipping your head towards the sound, it's like a soft tapping and it's coming from your window. This caused only one thought to rush through your brain- did I lock the window…

Slowly approaching the window you hear the tapping continue and you swear as you inch closer it becomes more rampant. Then as you reach for the curtain it seems to stop. It's probably just nothing, but the thought of that shadowy figure made all your confidence waver. If this is something you are screwed…maybe if you had some company you would be calmer.

Not wanting to be a horror movie cliche you start looking through your phone's contacts. You need someone dependable, scary, and someone you wouldn't mind hanging out with, like…

You stop scrolling and stare at the contact name: Miguel O’Hara…

Dependable- yes, he can be kinda a hardass but at work, he is always ready to give a helping hand to you every time you ask, even though he would not shy away from giving you shit when given the chance. Though you have grown to enjoy the teasing.

Scary- Uh, the dude is 6 '9' and built like a brick wall. It was one of the first things you noticed about him, The dude was huge! He could probably crush you if he needed to, though would that be so bad? It has become an office joke that when he's not at work he's living at the gym working out like crazy. How else could he be so big?

Now Miguel is your friend, you two had gotten close through your jobs at Alchemax, So it's only natural for a friend to let another friend come over right? Even if this said friend is quite attractive, with a gorgeous face, broad back, slender waist, and the best ass you have ever seen. Yeah, hanging out alone in your house shouldn't be a problem…Right?

Taking a deep breath you press the call button.

-Bring…-

-Brriinnngg…-

“Hello?”

“Um, Hey Miguel, are you busy?”

You hear Miguel shuffling around before he answers “What's wrong?”

Wow, he's pretty perceptive, you didn't realize how shaken up you sounded for him to ask you that so quickly. “Uh, I was wondering if you could…come over?”

There is a long moment of silence then what sounds like an exasperated sigh on Miguel's end. He busy…Maybe you should tell him never mind, you're the one who decided to watch horror movies alone and-

“Okay, I will be there shortly.”

Well that took zero convincing, “O-okay, see you then”

-click-

——-

Making sure to pick up your living room a bit you anxiously await for Miguel to arrive. The random tapping has stopped but you're still walking apprehensively through your home. Turning back on your lights you continue to watch the movie trying to distract yourself but you feel your hands getting clammy and anxiety rising. Were these movies just getting to you? Or Is there stuff happening? Worse than that, Is Miguel going to think you're crazy?

Checking your phone every couple of minutes waiting for a call or text from Miguel. He said he would be here shortly but it feels like forever, where is he? Having nervously eaten all your popcorn you go to make another bowl. Throwing the bag in the microwave you start the time and think about how you just saw this same situation in Scream. Waiting patiently you're starting to think you're overreacting a bit. That tapping could be anything, maybe when Miguel gets here you two can laugh at this. He has the most amazing laugh…

Then a sudden thumping breaks your daydream. Frozen, you don't move a muscle, you don't even dare to breathe as you slowly move your gaze to the window where the tapping had been. But, the thumping noise is fainter, and it's almost like something hitting something on your windows. For a second you think, is someone egging me? You thought you could avoid that because you got the good candy. Is someone messing with you? Maybe this is all in your head?

The thumping then turns into a window-rattling, like it's being pried open, your blood runs cold…

Eyes flicking around the room, your gaze gets glued towards the bathroom, and you clutch your cell phone tightly, is this happening…do I look? Absolutely not! Frantically you look at your phone. Where the hell is Miguel?

Then the sound of your doorbell chime sounds like a saving grace. Quickly you rush to open the door, but it doesn't budge. Danm-

Fumbling with the lock you quickly swing the door open and there he is. Miguel O’Hara, in all his beautifully intimidating glory. God, you could just kiss him. You didn't even care that he was looking at you like you were insane. Without a second thought, you're pulling him by his shirt inside, slamming your door shut. Turning to him with wild eyes the hysteric words flying from your mouth.

“Canyougocheckthebathroom, Iheardanoise and I’M Freaking out!”

Miguel just looks at you baffled before he swivels his head around responding with a casual sigh. “Where's the bathroom?”

Timidly you point down your dark hallway and Miguel instantly starts walking that way. Following close behind it takes everything in you not to cling to his jacket. Now you are usually a lot braver, but the oddness of the whole situation has you in a tissy.

Miguel stops at the closed bathroom door, turning his head over his shoulder he points his index finger to the door in a silent question. Nodding with a yes he opens the door with a confident swing walking through. You're more apprehensive as you peer through the doorway holding your hands tightly to your chest. Looking through your bathroom it's completely normal, apart from the mountain of a man looking around at it.

Turning to face you his chiseled face in a quizzical glare of ‘okay?’

Pointing to the window you meekly say “I thought I heard the window being opened..”

Nodding Miguel parts the curtains to reveal a shut window, going the extra mile he even tries to open it but it's locked. Closing the curtains back he turns to you placing his hands on his hips.

“Anything else?”

Looking at the shower you nudge your head at it. Seeming to roll his eyes slightly he opens the curtain to reveal an empty shower, murderer free. Sighing, your tension starts to ease up, everything seems fine, other than you acting like a damn spaz.

“You okay scaredy-cat?” he says with a smirk.

Rolling your eyes you're not amused by the nickname, “Yes I am fine, now can you give me a minute?”

Miguel shrugs with a smile and walks out of the bathroom, he turns like he's about to say something but you quickly slam the door closed, locking it. Pressing your back to the door you run your hands through your hair and down your face feeling ridiculous. Nothing is here to get you…plus Miguel is here you need to get a grip.

After regaining your composure, doing your business, washing your hands, and maybe putting on some mascara and fixing your hair a bit, you finally exit the bathroom. Walking into your living room you are met with the sight of Miguel walking out of the kitchen, jacket removed, revealing a black tee shirt that does everything for his muscular physique; the cherry on top, he has taken your popcorn from the microwave and poured it into a bowl. -well just make yourself at home the O’Hara

Feeling a bit awkward you decide it's the polite thing to thank him, “Thank you for coming over and checking my bathroom…”

Miguel nods plopping down on your couch and placing the popcorn on your coffee table, “you know, Maybe you shouldn’t be watching horror movies by yourself if you're just going to get scared by them”

Touché-

“Well…That's why I have you, you get to be my bodyguard” You say with a chuckle as you turn off your lights and slide down onto the couch next to him.

“I don’t know, I was working before you called…”

“Working?” This shouldn't be a surprise, of course, he was….”Well that's not a very fun Halloween”

“And getting scared by cheesy horror movies is?”

“Hey, At least it's festive, plus it’s not the movies that spooked me, some weird person was lurking around and this odd tapping, then the window…”

As you speak you look up and see that Miguel is listening intently, hanging on to each word that leaves your lips, you can't help but feel your cheeks blush from his fervid stare.

“I don’t know…maybe it was the movies…”

“I’ll stay”

“Huh?” You look at him confused

Miguel casually grabs a handful of popcorn “I said I’ll stay, I don't have to finish that work right now and you seem genuinely scared, though I think you have just been watching too many movies niña” he playfully nudges you with his elbow and you nudge him back making him laugh causing you to blush again.

“Plus…” he adds while dragging his eyes over your face, then down your body, studying your form for a moment “It will be..festive..” he looks back into your eyes and quickly averts his gaze to the movie, eating his popcorn casually.

-------

This is not how you saw your evening headed, alone in a dark room with Miguel. Sure you have had the odd fantasy of this moment before but there was no TV playing, and there were also no clothes…the popcorn was still present though…

Trying to be engrossed in the film you can’t help but take your eyes away to look over at Miguel. Fidgeting around on the couch, Danm, you need to relax. Miguel is being a good friend and just trying to watch a movie he doesn't need to be ogled by you!

As you continue to be at war with yourself your fidgeting and sighing must have gotten Miguel's attention. Because he’s then carefully wrapping an arm around your shoulder and bringing you in close. Feeling your face turn through three variations of blush you allow yourself to be pushed closer till your head is on his shoulder. Before you can even fumble with a response Miguel is speaking up. “You seem like you're scared…”

Not scared, just burning in desire for you, but I will take what I can get. “Thanks, Miguel.”

Completely ignoring the movie now, you don't even know what's on, you are just enjoying the closeness of Miguel's warm body. He might be the world's most cuddly man despite appearances. The best part was when a jumpscare would suddenly happen, he would hold you tighter like he was trying to protect you. His calm rhythmic breathing and how his fingers subtly rubbed loose strains of your hair it was so calming. Calling him over was the perfect move, everything was going great.

But there was something that just didn't make sense to you, “How come you're not at some kind of Halloween party or something?” you inquire looking up at his sculpted jaw.

Miguel shrugs, moving his eyes away from the screen to look at you “How come you're not at a Halloween party?” How come he can’t ever just give a straight answer-

Rolling your eyes you scoff “I’m not a fan of parties they tend to be overwhelming and usually kinda a letdown. Like I’m not going to go there and meet some sexy masked man to sweep me off my feet by fulfilling my every desire…”

Miguel looks at you confused and you just giggle “Heh, I read a story about it once…Anyways I like staying home to pass out the candy, it’s fun getting to make the kid's night.”

“You like kids?” he quickly asks.

“Sure, I mean I want some of my own one day.” As you answer you look over at Miguel and you think you see a slight smile on his lips as you speak.

“Seriously though, how come you weren't doing anything on Halloween?” you ask, trying to get the truth. “Didn't you get invited to go out?”

Miguel sighs, “Well yeah but, I’m like you, I don't like parties, horror movies are not my favorite, and kids don't trick or treat in my building, Plus…I was kinda waiting”

“Waiting? For what?” you say furrowing your brow at him.

“Well, I was waiting to see if you were going to invite me out” His sudden confession has your heart warming, and before you can get too mushy you slip out a laugh elbowing Miguel in the abs. “If you wanted to hang out you could have just called, you know?”

“I know, I guess I’m lucky you freaked yourself out so much you needed my company, scaredy-cat.” he teases leaning further into you and making your body warm.

“Hey! I was hearing and seeing things, Mister.” you poke his chest, almost hurting your finger in the process.

“Sure you were…” You and Miguel are both leaning pretty close by now, still laughing with each other. Then you two seem to notice the sudden proximity that has you both turning your heads quickly.

Miguel and you continue your playful banter as you watch the movie. He complains how everything is predictable, proving his theories by telling you who will die and in what order, you call him a buzz kill and playfully pinch his sides as he continues to ruin the movie. Miguel meets your pinching by doing it to you, this quickly escalates to a pinching war on the couch.

Lost in the playful fight you and Miguel feel the tension building around you until the ring of the doorbell cuts through the laughing. Sounds of excited laughter following the ring, you look to the door and smile at Miguel “Well, duty calls,” Miguel moves so you can slip past him, and you head towards the door. To your surprise, however, you notice that Miguel is following you. Looking at him confused he averts his eyes and places his hand on the back of his neck, “Thought I could help….” -what a cutie

Smiling wide you place the bowl of candy in his large hands. Swinging the door open you see a group of giggly kids eagerly holding out their baskets. They all go to sing out their Halloween phrase but suddenly stop with wide eyes and gasped expressions.

Looking at them confused you wonder what has them looking so shocked till you turn your head and look at Miguel. With the lights dimmed down in your house and the porch light only hitting parts of his face he looks terrifying, also are his eyes glowing red? What?

The youngest kid dressed like a fairy starts to cry, turning to hug her mom's leg. The others are too scared to even move. Miguel, in his infinite wisdom in social cues, leans over slightly and lets out a simple question “What will it be? Trick or Treat?”

Noticing the kids getting upset and equally the parents, you are quick to soothe things over. Flipping the door light on you makes it easier to see Miguel, making his faceless obscured, this seems to make the kids relax a bit and the moms and dad blush to see his strong physique and chiseled features.

“Wow! Miguel, don't all these kids look great? Don’t you love the costumes?” You nudge Miguel with a smile trying to get him to smile back.

Miguel, confused at first, doesn't understand, then lighting up he seemingly catches on “Oh yeah definitely all good, I like the Spider-Man” Miguel points to a kid who is dressed in the Blue and red vigilante outfit (A popular costume since the masked hero started saving Nueva York) the kid gives a thumbs up that makes Miguel smile that has everyone’s heart squeezing.

Finally with the kids more relaxed and the parents thoroughly flushed you crouch down, pulling Miguel with you to drop candy in the kid's bags. You take the time to ask each kid what they are and compliment the outfit. Miguel keeps his smile placed as he watches you with the kids. He seems to enjoy this. Finally, with all the kids giving their sweet rewards you and Miguel wave bye.

Nudging him in the side you get his attention “Try not to scare the kids huh?”

Miguel rolls his eyes “I didn't do it on purpose.”

Miguel walks back inside towards the movie and you go to reach for the light, but some sudden movement catches your attention. It looks like someone or something running down the side of the neighbor's house. Stepping out into the night air you look and see if you can see it. Inching closer and closer you're trying to catch a glimpse but then the sound of a playful scream down the road makes you jump. Looking back you see a father lifting his daughter and tossing her into the air making her scream and giggle. Taking a breath to calm yourself, you head back inside. Not seeing that the bushes have been rustling…

———-

Settling back onto the couch you are happily eating away at your candy. Trick-or-treaters are heading home for the night leaving the rest of the treats for you to enjoy. Miguel's eyes are focused on you as the candy slips past your lips.

“I can’t believe you actually can sit here and eat all that sugar”

You side-eye Miguel “Oh let me guess you don’t eat candy?” Probably not have you felt his abs in that shirt, completely solid-

“I just, haven’t had any that I like”

“Well, do you not like sweet things?”

Miguel looks at you for a moment like he wants to say something but quickly changes his mind “It depends…”

“Well here try this, it’s one of my favorites”

Quickly unwrapping the candy you hold it up for Miguel to take, but instead of grabbing it from you he leans down and takes it with his mouth.

Staring at him your thoughts seem to evaporate.-

Wait, did I just…did he really…did I feed him chocolate?

Staring at Miguel you meet his gaze with wide eyes, is he…no! He probably just took it because he just really wanted the chocolate…

While you're consumed by your thoughts your eyes stay locked with Miguel, he looks nervous. Like he's also surprised that you fed him chocolate, but he was the one who leaned in and ate from your hand! He fed himself!

Moving his eyes away for a moment he turns away and quickly swallows the candy, as he turns he seems like he wants to say something but instead his intense stare stays on your eyes. Feeling his arm on your shoulders move slowly to your hips curling tighter around you, a crashing wave of excitement washes over you. He slightly leans forward keeping his eyes on yours, it feels like you can’t breathe.

Heart is beating a mile a minute, all your nerves are on high alert, brain feels like it's frying. His scent, his touch, his intense stare! Wait, are his eyes red again, must be the lighting.

All of it is overwhelming. With ease, his large hand gently grabs your neck, bringing you closer to touch his plush lips to yours. Eyes shutting instantly you lean into the kiss, pressing yourself closer to his warmth. Seemingly groaning in surprise he leans more, parting his lips slightly to guide you through, mouth moving in tandem with him. Feeling the kiss deepen to a more intense passion you feel Your arousal ruining your panties and body heat reaching a fever pitch.

Breaking from the kiss to get air you stare at Miguel's face as he catches his breath, he looks downright majestic huffing for air it drives you wild, tightening your thighs together. Taking everything not to pounce him you back up brain scrambling from the hot man panting at you.

“I-is it Hot maybe I should o-open up my….Window! Yeah, open up my window!” Quickly you scramble to your window pushing past the curtains and lifting the window. The sudden cool breeze does nothing to cool your heated body. Standing there you take deep breaths to calm yourself, then large hands grabbing your hips make your attempts to calm down fail. Feeling Miguel nuzzle into your hair, then his breath fan against your neck has you almost moaning, you just can't help melting at his touch.

“I’m sorry if that was too sudden, I just…I’ve been wanting to do that..” His arms wrap around you in a hug making you fall into pure bliss

“For how long?” you say breathlessly leaning into his hold.

Humming Miguel thinks for a moment “About….five months now”

Your eyes shoot open and you turn around and swat his shoulder “You have liked me for five months and you haven't done anything about it!”

Miguel takes your playful hits for a few more moments before catching your wrist and pulling you in close, “you know if you wanted to kiss me you could have?”

“What? No way, I have been leaving hints this whole time you needed to meet me halfway!”

Miguel leans in closer, silencing your nagging with a kiss that you quickly fall into, playing with his hair as his hands roam over your body. Breaking away Miguel smiles down at you, “Is this meeting you halfway?”

Giving a slight pout you look at him with doe eyes “All I'm saying is that we could have been doing stuff sooner if you would have done something.”

Miguel quickly lifts you kissing you passionately carrying you blindly to the bedroom, when you feel your back hit your bedroom door you break the kiss looking down at his smirking face. “Well let's make up for lost time, shall we?”

Fumbling with your doorknob trying to open your door, but he swiftly moves your hand, opening the door in a fluid motion. Unable to contain your desires, you feverishly pull on his shirt while his hands fumble with your leggings. Once his shirt is off you take a second to admire his body he just chuckles at you before he's undoing his pants, while taking your top off you watch as his cock springs out from its confines slapping against his abdomen.

Now fully exposed to one another he can't help but lick his bottom lip taking in all your soft curves. You're equally hypnotized by his monstrous phasic and the massive length that causes your legs to shake. Seeing your nervousness he's quick to relax you.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make you feel good.” Running his hands all over he gets behind you and walks you to your bed. Pushing you against the bed you're falling on the plush mattress on your hands and knees.

Miguel's large digits can be felt spreading open your wet folds, you can only whimper as he runs his other finger up and down teasing you.

“Danm, you're so wet…”

Before you can give a rebuttal you feel him lick a long strip up your cunt. All you can do is let out a squeak as he ravenously eats your pussy, licking at your slick walls. All you can do is drop to your elbows moaning his name, as he hums and prods his tongue in your quivering slit.

Finally needing to break for air he moves away, his warm breath fanning over your wet cunt making you squeeze your legs together. Turning your head over your shoulder to look at Miguel and you almost cum right there. He's panting like a damn animal as a mixture of your arousal and his spit coat his chin in a shining sheen. The most alarming thing is that his eyes are blown out in hungry lust “Miguel…” you whimper his name breathlessly.

“Sorry hermosa, you're just so sweet..” with that he's spreading you open and back to eating your pussy like a starved man making you approach your high. Feeling your body reaching its peak you grind your hips into his face making him latch onto your swollen clit, sucking and twirling his tongue on it.

“Oh my god! Miguel! Ah!”

Knowing exactly what he's doing he leans in, humming onto your clit more, sliding two fingers into your slick cunt. moving his fingers in slowly he's spreading you open to accommodate every enticing inch. Once he's knuckle deep he starts pumping his large fingers in and out. Practically drooling now from his pumping plus the hungry licking and sucking of your clit you feel in bliss. It's not until Miguel is letting out a low groan into your cunt that you start seeing stars.

Trying to squirm away you try to prevent what's about to happen but Miguel grabs a hold of your hips not allowing you to move, continuing his low groans and deep pumping. The white-hot rush washes over you and all you can do is scream his name as you cum, Miguel not wanting to waste a drop of your sweet essence quickly licks and sucks every drop from you, helping you ride your high on his face.

Coming down from your high you feel Miguel's large hands squeezing your waist, “So good for me baby, so fucking sweet..”

Before you can even fully get back to your senses Miguel is Pulling you up to press your back to his chest, “now keep being my good girl and ride me..” he growls into your ear.

Laying down on the bed he steadies your hips as you grab his massive length angling it to tease your slit. His hot tip feels so good teasingly poking at your slit. Looking over your shoulder your eyes fall to Miguel, he looks like he can't take any more of your teasing. Grabbing your hair he roughly pulls making your back arch suddenly “Fucking ride it,”

Slowly lowering yourself on his cock you feel the stretch making your toes curl, Miguel's large hands rub soft circles on your hips as you stretch yourself full. You're unable to help your mewing of his name as you fully press down to take him all. Not even moving yet your eyes are rolling at the way his tip is already nudging your cervix. Miguel continues to rub his hands up and down your back cooing sweet nothings about how you're such a good girl, his good girl.

Feeling him throb in you, you're ready for more so you slowly start raising your hips and bringing yourself down, with each motion your cunt clenches down on him savoring the stretch. Once you're accommodated to his size you pick up your pace moving faster and pushing him in deeper, his hot tip has you losing your mind. Grabbing onto your breast pinching and twisting your buds, you're losing it moaning and crying out his name.

Egged on by your enthusiasm Miguel grips your hips and thrusts deeper, “That's my girl, take it, baby, ah fuck, my cock is yours”

“Its mine..ah fucking mine” you cry out bouncing faster

You start to feel the coil in your stomach tightening, feeling your body heating up to a fever pitch. Miguel is right with you approaching as high as he thrust harder cock throbbing and heating to a mouth-watering burn. Grunts falling on deaf ears you're too lost in the chase or your second orgasm, your only focus is to milk him dry, to feel his thick seed fill you.

The chase gets halted when suddenly Miguel is leaning forward kissing the back of your neck, hooking his arms under your knees. Locking his hands behind your head, the contorting has him fucking your pussy impossibly deeper, his breath is ragged as he moans, “I'm going to ruin this fucking pussy!”

“Fuck! Ruin me miggy!” You didn’t need to ask him twice he's fucking you hard, his in your stomach at this point. The arousal from your cunt is dripping down to your ass as he just takes full control over you. Chest feels on fire as you gasp from his pace which shows no sign of relenting till his cumming deep inside you.

Practically there you feel your coil about to give, and then Miguel slows his strong thrust to a stop, his breath getting quiet. Turning back to whine at the sudden loss of friction you hear it too…the sound of your living room window sliding up. Still caged in his grip from the Full Nelson you can only look up in horror, your house is being broken into! You weren’t paranoid!

Miguel slowly releases you from his hold and gently slides out of you moving you to the side of the bed. You can’t help the slight moan you give from not being full of him anymore. Miguel stands up and looks at you placing a finger to his lip reminding you to be silent, his intense eyes looking like they shine red. Quickly following his silence demands you cover your mouth with your hands.

Slow footsteps can be heard walking through the house and your eyes widen. Who was in here? What is happening?

Miguel slowly and steadily puts his pants on (disregarding his underwear) and you wrap yourself in a robe. Miguel goes to open the door of the bedroom but you quickly grab his hand to hold him back. Looking up at him with pleading eyes you try and urge him not to go out there, it’s dangerous he could get hurt.

Without words, Miguel places his hand on your cheek and gives a soft kiss to your lips, a reassurance that everything will be okay. You hate how much it calms you at the moment but can’t help how you surrender to it.

Miguel goes to open the door but it’s too late, the door flies open and you see a masked intruder dressed in all black. Screaming in terror you hide behind Miguel’s tall stature. To your surprise the intruder also screams when you are, jumping backwards they pin themselves to the wall. Wait? What kind of intruder jumps in surprise? As you shake in fear and confusion Miguel just stares daggers at the person.

Before you know it the intruder is cussing and running towards the door but Miguel is not having it, he pursues the intruder in a quick sprint. It was honestly a pathetic sight, the intruder scrambling to unlock your front door while the monster of a man Miguel goes to grab him.

After successfully slipping through the door the masked person starts running down your driveway. However, they were not quick enough, with an incredible force Miguel grabbed the masked person’s shoulder and slammed them to the ground in one swift motion. With the way he swiftly maneuvered it was like Miguel has done it thousands of times.

Thoroughly pissed off Miguel lifts the now limp figure in the air. Now seeing the comparison between the two you see how the guy didn’t even stand a chance to Miguel, in fact, the figure now seems to be quite slender. Carefully you approach Miguel and the figure.

in an animalistic growl, Miguel finally speaks. “What are you doing breaking into y/ns house…”

The figure lets out a whimper of “Who?” the continues in a pathetic plea,

“Please sir don’t kill me,” Sir? What? That’s not how intruders sound. Miguel lifts the mask off the person's face to reveal a young man probably a freshman in high school looking like he’s about to pee himself. The young man turns to you with desperate eyes.

“Ma’am, can you tell your husband to put me down?” Okay, not my husband but I’m not going to correct them.

“Um, first you need to explain why you were breaking in before I call the police “

The kid lets out a whine “Please don’t! it was just a stupid prank, I was supposed to scare Kenny Crain.” The kid's face flushes and starts to cry

Looking at them confused, you ask, “Kenny Crain?”

The kid sadly nods and Miguel’s grip tightens, You continue “No Kenny Crain lives here?” Gesturing to your house.

The kid's tears stop and he looks at you in shock “wait this isn't 945?”

You shake your head “This is 925”

The kid stops crying and looks to a nearby bush “TYLER YOU FUCKING IDIOT! You scoped the wrong house!”

A bush rustles before letting out a pathetic “sorry-“

Miguel drops the teenager from his grasp to the ground, he makes a sit-down motion with his hand and the teen eagerly obeys.

With long strides, Miguel goes to the bush and plucks the other teenager out lifting him by the collar and placing him next to his friend.

Watching as Miguel scolds the teenager you feel a smile creep across your face and that same tingly feeling in your stomach, Miguel O’Hara your hero.

Walking over you grab Miguel’s arm causing him to fall silent from his reprimanding of the two teens.

“Miguel, I think they learned their lesson.” You look at the two pathetic-looking teens and they nod urgently.

Miguel stares at the two young men again, not over what they did “You two, go home and don’t ever do anything like this again. Or else….”

With that the teens start scrambling and apologizing, running off into the late Halloween night. Your eyes fall to Miguel, his bare chest heaving as he watches the boys run off in irritation, he looks gorgeous. Miguel had come to protect you again, it’s only right you repay him. Sliding your arms around his waist you press soft kisses to his warm body.

Tease muscles begin to relax with each passing kiss from your soft lips. Swiftly he turns around and looks down at you. You thought he looked fantastic during the day right now he looks damn ethereal. A soft kiss is pressed to your lips, it's caring and full of passion.

Slipping his tongue past your lips you suddenly feel the night air grazing across your ass as Miguel lifts your robe before his warm hands come to grip you rear, making you whimper.

Breaking the kiss in one fluid motion Miguel scoops you from your feet and carries you into your home. The kiss becomes hungrier with each passing moment, and before you know it you're crashing onto your sofa with Miguel over you caging you beneath his hard body. Moans escape your lips as he gropes your body, his hands quickly undo your robe, then quickly grab a hold of your breast to play with your sensitive buds, his tongue drags over them coating them in his saliva.

Pulling away you look at him with blown-out eyes buckling your hips uncontrollably toward him, it's like your in heat. Chuckling softly he bites his lip and he starts to undo his pants, you're still shuddering with anticipation when his cock springs out.

“You didn't want to go back to the bedroom?” you ask in a shaky breath, holding your hands out to him. Did you want to go back to the room, no you just want to tease him.

Grabbing a hold of your hands he leans in placing kisses on your fingers and your knuckles before he pins them over your head.

“I thought you wanted to finish your silly horror movie marathon,” he coos

Grabbing his length with the free hand he slaps it against your aching cunt causing you to jolt your hips up with a quick moan. Proud of himself for the reaction he gets from you he continues as he rubs his cock through your wet folds to gather your arousal,

“figured we could multitask.”

With that he slowly seathes himself into your wet heat, your moaning and clawing in back relishing in that fullness you're sure to get addicted to. Miguel can't help but throw his head back at how your pussy sucks him in tightening around him instantly and he's not even fully in yet. Miguel just keeps pumping his hard cock through your velvety tight walls, watching your brain get hazier with each thrust that kisses your cervix, keeping at this you're sure to forget to even breathe let alone watch a movie.

The Tv seems like a faint buzz between the sounds of Miguel's thrusts and grunts married with your whimpering pants and squelching pussy. The TV catches your attention for a single moment -” Don’t go away, we are playing all Your horror favorites till the witching hour!”

Miguel grabs your chin and brushes his thumb across your wet lips, a mischievous smirk on his lips makes your sex tighten on him, “Looks like we’re in for a long night baby.”

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folkwhoredoll · 1 month

Text

library affections - rafe cameron x fem!reader

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

synopsis: there are two things that you love in this world; rafe and books

word count: 0.9k

warnings/tags: none, just fluff with sweet boyfriend!rafe

a/n: hi everyone! i don't think i can ever thank you all enough for your support in all of my works :< tbh i did not expect to gain so much interaction because this blog is still relatively new but here you all are and i appreciate each and every one of you <3 this fic is another fluff boyfriend!rafe fic (is it obvious that i like fluff so much lmao) and i've written this a while ago. i hope you'll like this one! if you have a request or prompt in mind, feel free to send me a message. happy reading!

masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Being a regular visitor at the Camerons' estate has familiarized you with every corner of the house. Now, you have memorized every room and decoration, immediately spotting whatever is newly added. The Camerons didn't mind your presence, with your family being a close friend of theirs. Thus, it was no surprise that you ended up dating the one and only son of Ward Cameron.

With his father and stepmother often occupied and his sisters frequently out with friends, you and Rafe usually find yourselves with the house to yourselves, save for the occasional presence of the household staff. Yet, you've never minded.

Today follows a similar pattern. Ward left for a morning meeting, Wheezie went to school, and Sarah departed at noon to join John B's group. Surprisingly, even Rafe isn't home, having agreed to a golf outing with Topper and Kelce. Although he initially invited you to join, you declined, preferring to avoid the "boy talk" and the scorching sun. Thus, you find yourself waiting for Rafe in the living room, idly scrolling through your phone.

It's been around two in the afternoon when you got bored, sighing and deciding to stand up to walk around the house. Your feet already know where you're going when you face the familiar entrance to the Camerons' Library.

This room is your most loved spot in the whole estate, apart from Rafe's room. The vast shelves of bright book covers from different times always amaze you. If you could, you'd live in this room. Rafe has found you exploring this library countless times; even his sisters know it's the first place to check when you're not around the house.

Quickly scanning the shelves for a book, you settled upon a fantasy fiction novel, clutching the book as you made your way to a couch by the window. The first few chapters had you hooked immediately, eyes rapidly passing through every word as you moved chapter by chapter. The book was so good that it blanked your other senses, making you jump when you suddenly heard Rafe's voice.

"I knew you'd be here." He smirked, still in his golfing outfit, as he stood over you.

"Hi, Rafe." You smiled up at him, putting the book down on your lap. "How's golfing?"

Rafe plopped beside you, stretching his legs and putting an arm around your shoulder. "It was good. I got bored with Top's whining about his break-up with Sarah, so I left."

You chuckled when you saw his eyes roll, a dramatic sigh escaping his lips. "They were together for a long time. You can't blame him."

"I guess." He shrugged before flashing you a flirty grin. "But I also want to spend time with my girl."

You snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"What? I do! I feel guilty about leaving you here alone." He defended.

"I don't mind, Rafe." You spoke.

"Hm. I bet you don't. But still."

You raised your brows, silently urging him to explain what he meant.

"I just mean that you were too distracted by that book, baby. I could've been an intruder, but you wouldn't even know. What is that about anyway?"

Your eyes lit up at his question; you've always loved speaking about the books you've read. And Rafe loved hearing you talk, even if he's mostly confused.

"I just started reading it, so I don't really know what it's about yet, but there's this girl, and she has electricity powers!" You started excitedly.

Rafe listened intently. He couldn't help but feel affection for you, marveling at how your eyes sparkled with passion for the story. Despite the chaotic world outside, at this moment, it was just the two of you, surrounded by the tranquility of the library.

As you continued to talk, Rafe's mind wandered, reflecting on how much you meant to him. You were the one person who could effortlessly penetrate his tough exterior, revealing the softer, more vulnerable side of him that he often kept hidden from the world. He felt at ease with you, free to be himself without fear of judgment or ridicule.

Lost in his thoughts, Rafe reached out, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You paused mid-sentence, startled by the sudden touch, before leaning into his hand, relishing the warmth of his touch.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, concern lacing your voice as you noticed the distant look in his eyes.

Rafe shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Nothing, I'm just... happy. Happy to be here with you."

A soft blush colored your cheeks as you met his gaze, feeling the warmth spread through your chest. At that moment, surrounded by the scent of old books and the soft glow of sunlight filtering through the window, you couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Leaning in, Rafe pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before pulling away. "I love you," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with sincerity.

"I love you too," you replied, your heart swelling with emotion as you returned his affectionate gaze.

With a contented sigh, Rafe settled back against the couch, pulling you closer until you were nestled against his side. Together, you sat in comfortable silence, basking in the simple pleasure of each other's company.

At that moment, surrounded by the familiar comforts of the library, you knew that no matter what the future held, as long as you had each other, everything would be okay.

#drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x y/n

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babygorewhore · 3 months

Text

Yes, sir.

Moving to the outer banks wasn’t planned but your grandmother needed as much help as she could get. What she didn’t mention was a hot guy named JJ worked for her. And he decides to take you. Even if you’re sleeping.

Moodboard

Idk what came over me. Thank you so much to @xxhellfirebunnyxx for beta reading and always talking me out of quitting writing. This is kinda short but oh well. And also my first JJ fic EEEEEEEE. And yes, I changed the name.

Warnings! Dubcon! Fucking you awake! Slight spanking! Pussy slapping! Oral! Fem recieving. Choking! Tying hands! Unprotected sex! Breeding kink! Perv! JJ Dark! JJ Dom! JJ sub reader!

You knew moving to a new state would be hard but the worst part was unpacking the dozens of boxes in your bedroom and you were careful to set away your prized box of toys.

You moved here to take care of your Grandma, the old woman didn’t have anyone else and she couldn’t hardly care for herself anymore. You didn’t mind, leaving behind your old state and hovering parents that were disappointed in your life choices. Setting your hands on your hips briefly you then jumped at the sound of the lawn mower. You walked to your window and gasped.

Moving the tool was a tall, shirtless blonde guy wearing knee length shorts. His shirt was tossed over his shoulder and his backwards hat covered his messy hair.

He glanced up and you stepped back from the window. You breathed out before you went downstairs where you grandma was loitering in the kitchen. “Grandma, are you hungry? It’s past noon.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I want you to meet someone.” She gestured for someone to enter the kitchen who was behind you and you gulped when you saw it was the hot blonde guy.

He put his t shirt on unfortunately and grazed by you as he passed by.

“This is JJ. He helps me around and I appreciate his company.” She reaches up and pinches his cheek. You snort when he winced but then plasters on a fake smile.

“And she’s my favorite lady to cut grass for, aren’t you?” You almost rolled your eyes at the way your grandma cooed after him.

JJ turned towards you. “Well, you must be the famous uh, Baby doll, your grandma keeps talking about. When did you get here?” The way he phrases the word makes goosebumps rise on your skin but you clear your throat.

“I uh, got here three days ago. I’m still unpacking.” JJ nodded.

“Well, let me know if you need any help with that. I gotta finish cleaning the pool. I’ll see you later.” He gave you a smirk, glancing up at your body.

The hours went by and you really tried to resist but you finally took out your rabbit. Tension built up from stress and now new eye candy to admire. He stayed for hours, cleaning and working outside. Giving you plenty to view as he wiped sweat off his body with his discarded shirt.

Everyone where you used to live wasn’t nearly on his level. And he seemed confident. At least to you.

The silicone was slightly cold as you ran it down your clit that was covered in spit.

What you didn’t know. someone was watching you.

JJ was hidden in your closet. He never left, only snuck back in through the window when everyone went to bed. He had been waiting for weeks for you to come. The old woman couldn’t stop talking about her pretty little granddaughter. And when he saw your picture? He knew he’d have you no matter what it took. He didn’t care that it made him a total perv right now.

The way you ran the toy over your pussy that was glistening even in the dim lighting. Your hands were grabbing your tits as you massaged them and he had to clench his jaw to keep from moaning.

Finally, you brought it inside you, your cunt took it with ease as you pumped it slowly then faster. You almost rolled on the bed, your legs spread wide as you moaned and panted. “Mmm,”

JJ started palming himself before he forced himself to stop. No. He wouldn’t cum in his own hand. No. He would cum inside you.

You were growing closer, he could tell by the way you were breathing and how your stomach tightened. Come on, baby. There you go. He thought.

You spilled all over the toy and bit your lip to quiet yourself. JJ wanted to make you scream and he would. He’d have you on your own bed. A little Kook according to his standards but you needed him. Your pretty doe eyes that were fucked out. Your bitten bloody lip that he wanted to suck.

He waited as you drifted asleep after staying on your phone.

He quietly walked out, his boots thankfully not making much noise. JJ carefully picked up the discarded rabbit beside you. He brought it to his mouth, seeing it was still wet with your slick.

He wrapped his lips around it, his eyes rolling back at the sweet taste that coated the plastic. JJ knew his own cum would taste like heaven mixed with yours. His tongue licked the sides, much like how he wanted to devour your sweet pussy. You were still naked on your lower half. JJ rolled his hips as he tried to keep quiet.

But your swollen pussy. Your tits hanging outside of your shirt. Fuck it. JJ set the rabbit down and sank to his stomach. He wasn’t going to wake you up in the traditional way. No. His breath warm against your pussy and he flattened his tongue against your clit.

You groaned, something…felt good. It was in between your legs. It was warm and pressured. You groggily opened your legs and saw a head full of blonde curls buried in your cunt. You gasped but a slap landed on your ass.

“Shhh.” It was JJ. “Lay back. Like a good girl.” He commanded as he greedily sucked your clit before releasing it. he saw you were still sitting up, eyes wide staring at him. “Lay. Down.” He gritted out and you quickly obeyed.

“Yes, sir.” You whispered as he kitten licked the underside of your bud before sinking it inside you. Your pussy tightened around his tongue and he groaned and dug his nails against your flesh. He dragged them down as you humped his mouth with force but he didn’t fucking care.

“JJ, I’m gonna c-“ He stopped immediately and you whined from the removal.

JJ slapped your pussy. “You should see how pathetic you look.” He smirked as he yanked off his shorts and wrapped your wrists with his belt above your head. “This is how it’s gonna go, you’re gonna fucking take it.”

You shuddered before he slammed his lips to yours, he tasted like weed as he opened his mouth and twisted his tongue to yours. You tasted yourself on him as your eyes fluttered shut. You felt him run the tip of his cock along your slit before he sank into you, filling you up.

Your head lulled to the side as you sighed as he started thrusting without warning. “You’re such a dirty slut, huh? Letting me fuck you while you’re sleeping? Fucking yourself while I’m watching?”

Your headboard slammed against the wall and your eyes rolled back as he hit a particular deep spot inside you and his necklace hovered above your face. You couldn’t hardly move but just accommodate him with your legs wrapped around his waist. “Don’t-don’t stop, sir.”

JJ leaned down and let spit fall into your mouth. “I’m gonna cum in you. Fuck a baby inside you. You’d like that? Knocked up with my baby?”

You nodded rapidly. “Yes, sir. Fuck,” You body jolted as your peak was rising, his thumb started circling around your clit.

JJ was about to cum, you knew by the way his speech halted and his movements stopped having a rhythm as he ravaged you. His hand slid to your throat as he gripped you. “Thank me for fucking you. Then you-you can cum.” He muttered.

“Thank you for fucking me, sir.” You whined before your pleasure exploded inside you.

Your body trembled as white hot euphoria came over you and your air was cutting off as JJ squeezed. His rings cold against your burning flesh. He spilled inside you, sticky and all over your pussy and thighs.

You both breathed in each other and he released your throat and you sucked in oxygen.

JJ gave you a wicked smile. “I’m not done with you, princess. I’m gonna hide again in your closet. And you’re going to pretend you’re sleeping. We’ve got all night, huh?”

Tagging. @xxhellfirebunnyxx @drewstarkeyslut @take-everything-you-can @girlfuckthatwhore @imyourdaninow @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @slvt4jamesmarch @scene-and-dandylover @lesservillain @emsgoodthinkin

#jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #JJ Maybank xfemreader #jj #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank smut #JJ smut #jj maybank one shot #JJ Maybank outer banks #outer banks smut #outer banks #dark! JJ Maybank #perv!JJ Maybank

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katiexpunk · 4 months

Text

Nightmare Before Christmas | Pairing dark!Joel Miller X Fem!Reader

This story is a gift fic for @xdaddysprincessxx as part of the @pedrostories Secret Santa event. You wanted dark and I hope I delivered. Merry Christmas, babe.

Summary: As an escort, you’ve found yourself in some pretty fucked up situations before. Years of experience have taught you to navigate such situations with a combination of tact and assertiveness. Most of the time the men who exude an air of sleaze shrivel back into the corner, embarrassed and limp dicked. Most of the time. Tonight is not one of those times. Rating: 18+ Minors DNI Word Count: ~3.6K Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Tommy and Joel are not nice guys in this one. Escorting. Non-Con. Guns. Knives. Kidnapping. Spitting. Ropes. Chloroform. Alcohol. Degrading pet names. Joel calls reader kitten. Reader jumps out of moving vehicle. Blood. Rope burns. Unwanted creampie. Conflict on pleasure. Fingering. Explicit/rough penetration. Breeding kink. No major physical descriptions of reader/graphic is for visual purposes only. No specific age gap mentioned. No use of Y/N. No happy ending. Authors Note: Special thank you to @kewwrites for lending me her brain on this one. Additionally, thank you to @toxicanonymity for writing dark content that I had to binge-read to put me in the headspace to even write this lol. And thank you @sydneyinacoma for holding my hand as I wrote this one. Also submitting this as part of @romana-after-dark's Dead Dove December event. Merry Christmas? Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Notifications Extra dark smut below the cut.

As an escort, you’ve found yourself in some pretty fucked up situations before. Years of experience have taught you to navigate such situations with a combination of tact and assertiveness.

Most of the time the men who exude an air of sleaze shrivel back into the corner, embarrassed and limp dicked.

Most of the time.

Tonight is not one of those times.

++++

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’re in the bathroom of your sleek apartment on the twenty-fifth floor in the heart of Los Angeles, preparing for another evening of playing the part of whatever and whoever your client wants you to be.

Sometimes you’re the arm candy, sometimes the new girlfriend, and sometimes you’re just something to look at. It wasn’t always easy, not at first, but the rewards are well worth the endure.

You slept with a handful of your clients early on, only because you needed the money, but now it’s your hard line. You ensure your prospective clients know your rules before you agree to go out with them, and for the most part, they don’t try to cross them. Sure, some try, but all it takes is a quick threat of I’m leaving and they’re happy to fall back in line. You think half of them are convinced that they’re charming enough to make you break the rules, just for them, but none of them ever are.

You stand before the mirror in a chic ensemble that accentuates your curves without revealing too much. Wear something black and don’t make it trashy, his instructions said. You run your fingers through your hair and give it a final touch before fastening a pair of statement earrings that sparkle like the lights on your Christmas tree.

The gentle chime of your phone signals a new message. You pick it up, the screen illuminating your face with a soft glow. Your client for the evening, a successful entrepreneur named Tommy, confirms the details for the evening and informs you that a car will meet you at the agreed-upon location at 8:00 pm sharp.

You check the time and still have another 15 minutes. You meander over to your bar cart, pour yourself a nip of vodka over ice, and sip it while you kill time. You’re not usually nervous, but tonight feels different.

Not before long, you take a deep breath and head out the door.

++++

The night air is crisper than usual for LA this time of year, but you ride with the windows down anyway. Your destination is a trendy rooftop bar where Tommy has chosen to meet. He hasn’t told you the occasion or why he’s hired you, but your best guess is that it’s some swanky holiday party or circle jerk between a bunch of rich people.

The car pulls up to the entrance, and the driver walks around the vehicle to open the door for you. You adjust your dress with sweaty palms as you step out and head into the building.

The rooftop offers a panoramic view of the city. Much to your surprise, nobody is there, except for the waitstaff and a man far from the entrance. Tommy is seated at a corner table, engrossed in the cityscape. You approach with grace, and as Tommy turns to greet you, your eyes lock in silent acknowledgment.

The night unfolds as most of them do.

There’s nothing strange about it. He orders a bottle of Dom, and you share a meal over casual conversation. He tells you that he rented out the entire rooftop because he wanted some privacy. Which isn’t unusual, you figure he might be some high-profile figure, or maybe he’s married, but you’ve come to learn it’s best not to ask.

There’s nothing inherently different about this client than any other.

But for whatever reason, you can’t shake the pit of lead that’s settled in your stomach, and the gnawing little voice inside your head that’s screaming danger.

He touches your bare knee under the table and gives you a dark look, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to rise to stand. The gnawing little voice might as well be an opera singer at this point.

You clear your throat and take your phone out of your purse to check the time. Fuck. You test your luck and try to excuse yourself early anyway.

“Well, this has been lovely, but I –” you start to say, but you’re cut off by his dark eyes.

“Nuh-uh, you’re mine for another two hours, doll,” he says in a raspy low voice.

You watch as he slips a few $100 bills on the table. As he silently rises to stand, you catch a glimpse of the handgun that’s fastened on his hip beneath his suit jacket. Your pulse quickens at the sight.

You follow him to the elevator, and he presses the lobby. Standing next to you, you realize how much bigger than you he is. He’s broad and built, he looks like he could rip a phonebook in half with his bare hands.

Stay cool, stay cool, stay cool.

On the ride down, you feel him snake one hand behind you and he hikes the hem of your dress up and runs his cold fingers up the back of your thigh and over the curves of your ass.

“Tommy, I don’t sleep with my clients. Please stop,” you ask, your voice firm.

He turns to face you and cages you against the elevator wall. He’s so close, you feel his hot breath on your lips. Your eyes glance over at the screen above the numbers, and you still have another 15 floors to go until you’re at the lobby. Your stomach drops.

“You’ll do whatever I ask you to tonight, doll,” Tommy rasps, his voice cold. A shiver runs down your spine as you feel a hard metal pressed up against your ribs – the gun. “Do you understand?” he asks, not questioning.

Tears well up in the corners of your eyes, and your adrenaline courses through you like an F1 car. When you don’t respond, he presses the barrel of the gun harder into your ribs. Ow. “Better answer me now, Doll, or this isn’t gonna be fun for you,” he threatens. You manage to rasp out a shaky “I understand.”

Just as you do, the elevator signals that you’re in the lobby and the doors open. He steps back from you and you slump down the wall for a moment, utterly terrified. He nudges his head toward the exit and walks closely behind you, the gun now positioned on your lower back. There’s a dark suburban waiting at the entrance of the building.

You slip into the vehicle, the cool black leather cold on the backs of your legs, and he follows in behind you. There are three other men in the car, two in the front, and one in the far back. They’re all dressed in dark colors, most of them covered in tattoos, and you’re willing to bet that all of them are armed.

“Ooo, she’s a pretty one. We’re gonna have fun with her,” the one in the back says in a heavy voice.

“Fuck you,” you yell back, spitting on him. It lands on his face, and a terrifying look crosses it.

He wipes the spit from his eye before he grabs the gun from his side and holds it firm against your temple. Your breathing catches in your throat and your heart freezes mid-beat.

“You better behave you little cunt, or I’ll make it hurt more than I’m already going to,” he rasps and you let your eyes go glossy as you stare out the window, silent. He removes the gun from your head and sinks back into the seat.

As they drive off, you consider your options. You could fight them, you think, but that probably wouldn’t end well for you. You consider trying to grab the handgun from Tommy, but he’s so much bigger than you, that probably wouldn’t end well for you either; plus you’re not even sure you’d know how to shoot it. You could grab your phone and try to call 9-1-1, but Tommy would notice you rummaging through your purse for it.

As they’re driving, you notice that they failed to lock the doors. You’ve never kidnapped anyone, but even you know that’s a rookie mistake. You watch the road blur behind a road of tears, and then it dawns on you – your only option is to jump. You clear the tears from your eyes, set on your escape plan, and wait for the perfect moment.

Once the car is at a reasonable speed, or so you guess, you don’t know how fast you’re going, and there seems to be no car directly behind you, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. You swiftly pull the door handle, and do your best imitation of a duck-and-roll.

You hit the pavement with a loud thud, and roll a few times, completely fucking up the skin on your knees and palms. Giving yourself no time to think, running on pure adrenaline, you stand up, abandon your heels, and make a run for it.

“FUCK!” Tommy yells, “God damn it, man, turn around, we gotta go get her!” he yells to the driver.

You have no idea where you are or where you can go, but you allow your legs to propel you forward.

Don’t stop, just run.

You look over your shoulder and see the suburban making a U-turn, and you assess your options once again. You see a Taxi idling in the distance. You don’t think, you just pound on the glass for a quick second before opening the door and slipping into the vehicle.

You’re panting, out of breath, and borderline hyperventilating. You scream “DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE.” The Taxi driver looks back at you, eyes wide, noticing the blood that’s dripping down your legs in thick streams.

“Did you hear me!? Drive, please they’re going to find me,” you scream. He turns his head back to the windshield, pulls the lever into gear, and hits the gas. The back wheels of the taxi spin out in the gravel as he deftly pulls out into the road ahead.

With your breathing still erratic, you look behind you through the rearview mirror and are pleased to find that nobody is following you.

Holy shit. You escaped.

You sit back normally in your seat and hold one hand on your heart, and the other on your stomach. You assess your hands and legs, noticing you’re covered in blood and gravel. You go to reach for your purse, but shit, you must have lost it when you jumped.

“What the hell was that about?” the taxi driver says in a raspy low tone, looking at you through the rearview mirror. You don’t respond, your hearing still muffled and ringing from the adrenaline.

He drives for a few minutes and then turns into a dark alley.

“Wh – what are you doing?” you ask, keyed up, running on fear. Your hand instinctually finds the door handle, like you might need to jump again. He unbuckles his seat belt and whips around to face you, the leather of his seat squeaking a little as he does.

He’s big, you can tell he has broad shoulders and thick biceps. Salt and pepper curls grace his head, and he has a scruffy beard to match. There’s a deep line between his eyebrows and a rugged handsomeness to him.

“You haven’t told me where you want to go, and you’re not listening to me. ‘M not driving you anywhere until you tell me what the fuck that was about. And ‘sides, you’re bleeding. Can’t have you getting blood all over the back of my car,” he says.

He turns back around and opens the driver's side door.

“Where are you going?” you ask, voice shaky. What the hell?

“‘M grabbing the damn first aid kit out of the trunk,” he retorts, a tinge of annoyance to his voice. You’re not sure why he’s being so rude in the first place. You hear the trunk pop open, the sound of ruffling like he’s grabbing something, and then the sound of the trunk slamming shut.

He rounds around to your passenger side door and opens it.

“Look I’m fine, I don’t need you to –” he shuts you up with a thick rag pressed firm against your face.

You swear you see him smirk before your vision blurs and fades to black.

++++

The air in the dimly lit basement hangs heavy with dampness, and a faint odor of mildew lingers in the stale atmosphere. As your consciousness slowly returns, you realize you’re standing and tied up against a support beam in the middle of the room.

Your wrists are bound with coarse ropes above your head in a tight knot, causing them to lose circulation. You try to wiggle yourself free, but your body is pinned firmly against the wood by ropes that also extend across your legs. You try to scream, but there’s no point. A thick strip of duct tape covers your lips, muffling even your loudest of efforts to cry out.

You frantically observe the room around you. It’s illuminated by a single flickering light bulb overhead, the walls are concrete that have been stained with age. The only audible sounds are what you assume are footsteps in the house up above. You try and wiggle yourself free, but it only exhausts you.

You float in and out of consciousness. As your eyes fall closed, you hope that when you wake up you’ll find that this was all just one big fucked up dream. A nightmare before Christmas.

++++

You awake to the sensation of cool metal on your cheek. You groggily come to, and once your vision clears, you see the face of a man – the taxi driver. Your eyes bug out and you whimper beneath the duct tape.

“Shh, shh, hush kitten,” he coos, running the flat blade of the knife over your soft cheek. “You’re okay, ‘m gonna take real good care of you, I promise.”

Hot tears well in the corners of your eyes, your eyes now bloodshot. You whimper something that sounds like a muffled “please,” under the tape and you see his pupils dilate. A devilish smirk crosses his face.

“Oh my kitten has manners, does she,” he rasps, dragging the knife down the razor edge of your jaw, over your sternum, and down the valley of your breasts. “Say it again for me,” he says. You’re a full-blown factory of tears at this point, and you muffle out another masked please. You tug on the ropes and stare back at your captor.

You flinch as he uses the knife and cuts your dress down the middle. Your perky tits spill out of the tight fabric, and he looks at them with hungry eyes. He sheaths the knife and uses his thick hands to rip the rest of the fabric off of you until you’re completely bare before him, minus the thin scrap of your underwear.

“Well shit, baby. Look at you,” he takes a step back and admires your body, bringing his hand to palm at the growing bulge in his pants.

You turn your head so you don’t have to look at him, trying to focus on something, anything but him. You hear the clanking of his metal belt unbuckling, and the faint sound of his zipper coming down. He drags his pants and underwear off of his body, and stands before you, fully hard, his large cock throbbing and red. He looks down at it and spits.

Massaging his length in one hand, he stares at you and tells you, “Look at me, kitten.”

You don’t.

A deep growl escapes his chest, and he steps closer to you. Still massaging his cock with one hand, he uses the other and grips your jaw tightly, smushing your cheeks together, forcing you to look at him. “There she is, my pretty girl, that’s better,” he taunts.

“See what you do to me?” He says, nodding down to his cock, his jaw slack. “This is what you’re gonna get for tempting me,” he darkly adds. He continues to work at his cock; to him, you may look like you’re watching him, but you’re doing your best to blur your vision, to think about anything else.

His hand leaves his cock and comes to rest on your chest with his palm flat. He trails it over your breast and cups the weight of it, rolling your nipple to a stiff peak between his index finger and thumb.

“If you promise you’ll be a good little kitten for me, I’ll make this feel good for you,” he says. All you can do is whimper and cry as he uses you.

He drags his flat palm down your body, over your tummy, and cups your pussy over your underwear, feeling the warm heat of it. He growls and hooks his fingers under the fabric until the tips of them are nudged into your slit, near your hole. He dips the tip of his middle finger into your cunt, and you flinch.

“Good little kitten, already wet for me,” he says, and then plunges the length of it inside of you. You gasp, and he smiles. He drags the length of his finger, now covered in your slick, up the seam of your pussy until it lands on your clit. He begins to draw tight circles there, and you can’t help but moan at the sensation of it.

A low growl reverberates through his chest as he works at you, his dark eyes trained on your face. You try to suppress the need to come, and he can tell. “Filthy little girl, pretending you don’t want to come for me. Go on, baby. I know you want it,” he says darkly, coaxing you closer and closer to your orgasm.

He alternates between fucking his fingers into you and rubbing your clit. You don’t want to come, but you can’t stop it. Can’t fight it. As much as you hate it, you’re at his mercy. You’re scared to admit what it might mean if you were to come under circumstances like this, but you’re so tired, you just want to feel something good. “Be a good little slut for me, kitten. Come on my fingers, know you want to,” he says, and shit. Your vision goes white, and for the first time tonight, you don’t feel anything except pleasure.

He collects the slick that’s formed as a result of your orgasm and uses it to coat his hard cock. He watches you and admires the fucked out look on your face.

“Gonna free your legs now, kitten. Don’t go getting any ideas or I’ll find another way to use my knife other than cuttin’ these ropes, got it?” he rasps. He ducks down, pulls the knife from his back pocket, and uses it to saw the ropes until you’re free before once again tucking it away.

He drags your now-soiled panties down and off your legs. You know he’s going to fuck you. And as fucked up as it is, and as much as you don’t want it, there’s a little tug at your low navel, a thread of arousal that tells you otherwise.

He uses his hands to grab your hips and he tugs at them until your back is slightly arched against the beam. Your wrists hurt, the harsh rope burning your skin, but it pales in comparison to the thick stretch of him in your cunt.

He fills you in one thrust, giving you no time to adjust to the size of him. He holds you up, your legs wrapped firmly against his core, and he fucks into you. He fucks you hard, his thick cock punching against your cervix with nearly every thrust. You whimper from the intensity of it.

“That noise…keep making it,” he begs, his voice wrecked. You fight your hardest to stay silent after hearing that. “Need to know, kitten – are you on birth control? IUD? Anything?” he asks, and you think if you tell him the truth, maybe he won’t come inside of you. Stupid, stupid mistake. You shake your head “No,” and he groans.

His hips slow and stutter. “Fuck, fuck – yeaaaahhhh, kitten. Fuck, you’re mine,” he pauses with himself buried to the hilt deep inside of you as he pumps his seed deep inside of you.

“So good for me, kitten. You’re so good,” he says, caressing your cheek with his thumb, still inches deep inside of you. He rips the duct tape off your lips in one swoop, the tearing sensation causes your eyes to water. He plants a soft kiss on your lips, before biting your bottom lip hard enough to bleed.

“Taste good, too,” he adds, licking your blood off of his lips.

He pulls out, leaving you completely wrecked, and his cum smears all over your thighs.

“Names Joel by the way,” he says, his voice impossibly dark, “just thought you might wanna know the name of the man who’s gonna make you a mother.”

END

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#pedrostories #pedrostoriesgift23 #dark joel miller #dead dove do not eat #dark tommy miller #deaddovedecember2023 #joel miller smut #joel miller x female reader #dark smut #tw noncon #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader

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navybrat817 · 1 year

Text

In His Hands

Pairing: Woodworker!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky's new project is his favorite one yet for a very special reason. Word Count: Over 2k Warnings: Fluff, implied sexual content, pregnancy, slight feels (it's me), minor flashback, canon divergent, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @firefly-graphics Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. A/N: My first Connect 4 (C4007 - Square 2) / Into an Alternate Juneiverse for @buckybarnesevents! Set in Into the Woods AU and time jump from Valentine's Day Tradition, but can be read as a standalone.❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The buzz of the table saw echoed in the barn as Bucky carefully cut through the maple board, inspecting it to make sure it was even. He put a lot of thought and care into each project and design he created. Everything from cost to maintenance to longevity. His current project was especially close to his heart.

My favorite one yet.

After the fight, coming to grips with his trauma, everything, the city felt different. Bucky longed to have a simpler life. He unexpectedly found a bit of peace in the form of woodwork. Using his hands to build things, and not damage them, kept him busy and happy. But the thing that brought everything full circle was you.

His wife.

"Doll, I still can't believe you said yes."

"Who would say no to you, Jamie?"

He glanced at a photo of the two of you on the wall, still in disbelief that he got to wake up beside you every morning. He found it more and more difficult to get out of bed when he wanted to stay tangled up with you, but the bills wouldn't pay themselves and he had to work to get a paycheck. Lucky for him, his "office" was in the nearby barn. The yard was a decent size, too.

"Great place for a family one day, isn't it?"

"Just about perfect, doll."

Like Steve, he hadn't expected to love living a quiet life outside of the city, but he did. You made a beautiful home together and it wasn't that far of a drive if he wanted to visit. He wondered some days if he was living in a dream because things seemed too good to be true.

If so, he never wanted to wake up.

"Need you to be perfect," he said to himself as he cut another board.

He checked the design again, his eyes narrowed as he thought about how long it would take to finish. You gave him your seal of approval when he showed his idea and reminded him not to put too much pressure on himself. He had plenty of time to make it and other projects came first.

But he hadn't had a task as important as this one.

He removed his safety glasses when the sun shone through the window, giving the place a soothing glow and him a moment to pause and reflect. He made love to you that morning. There was no pain in his left shoulder. Steve planned to stop by this evening. It was just about a perfect day.

How is this my life?

"You know, I think that is going to be your best work yet."

Bucky turned his attention to where you stood in the doorway. He couldn't keep the smile off his face when he noticed you had one of his shirts on. You looked good in his clothes, always had. And seeing you enter a room still took his breath away. He didn't think he could love you more, but he did each day.

If I ever stop breathing from the sight of you, at least your face will be the last thing I see.

His gaze went to your stomach before he closed the distance between the two of you and placed his large hand on it. He hadn't built a crib, but he did his research to be sure he'd make the best and safest one possible. It would be something to hopefully pass on to future generations. Another tradition.

But first and foremost, it would belong to the baby.

Our baby.

"I'm just getting started, but I think you're right," Bucky said, sinking to his knees and kissing your belly. "Only the best for our little jellybean."

Most days he couldn't keep his hands off of you, but it got worse once he found out you were pregnant with his child. You were glowing, more than usual, and he was a moth drawn to the flame. Thankfully you didn't mind and let him indulge.

Your need matched his own.

He'd never forget the joy he felt when you told him you were pregnant. You often brought him snacks or lunch while he worked, but that day you brought him a small gift box, too. It wasn't his birthday or a special occasion, so he had no idea what it could possibly be. Inside were two positive pregnancy tests. He almost dropped them, too stunned to speak. His heart almost burst through his chest when he saw the happy tears in your eyes.

"We're having a baby, Bucky. You're going to be a dad!"

It took a minute to sink in. You were having his baby. He was going to be a dad. You were giving him a family. A life he had only dreamt of.

'I still have to see a doctor, but-"

His mouth came down on yours before you could finish what you had to say, his massive hands framing your face so he could deepen the kiss. He poured his love, passion, soul, everything into it. He took you right there on one of his empty work tables, his left hand on your stomach the entire time.

"I love you, doll. Love you both so much."

He brought you back to the house and made love to you all over again, taking his time to worship you. He didn't get any work done the rest of the day. It was worth it.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, concern filling his eyes when you yawned.

He always checked on you during his breaks to make sure you felt okay, even when you insisted that he didn't need to. Days like this when you visited the barn first, he still had to ask. Any discomfort or pains, he wanted to know and help however he could.

"Just fine," you assured him, tucking a few strands of hair that came loose from his ponytail behind his ear. Just like he couldn't stop touching you, you always found an excuse to run your fingers through his long, brown locks since he grew it back out. "A bit tired, but fine."

"You're not wearing your mama out, are you?" he asked your belly. He pressed his ear against it and felt a slight kick, as if he got an answer. "Good because she needs rest. She has enough to deal with taking care of me."

"We take care of each other," you said.

Bucky wanted to believe that. You had a good set-up in the city before the two of you decided to move and he worried you'd regret going with him. You reminded him that you were still going to work from home and it was a choice you made together.

Partners. Equals. Soulmates.

"Yes, we do," he said fondly, focusing on your stomach again. "But can you believe she had the nerve to ask if we should buy you a crib? Like she forgot I could make you one. Don't hold it against her, jellybean. Hormones and baby brain."

"Bucky!" you scolded before you laughed.

He chuckled as he kissed your stomach a second time. "I'm kidding. Kind of. I did have to drive all over town the other day to find the potato chips she wanted."

Bucky would drive to the ends of the earth to satisfy any craving you had.

"Hey. Our baby is the one asking for them and it was the only flavor that would provide any satisfaction," you defended yourself. "And I balanced it out with fruit, so everyone wins."

"Yes we do and I'm glad. I need you both nice and healthy," he said as he stood up.

"We're both fine. You know that," you smiled.

He hadn't missed a single appointment, wanting to be there every step of the way. Listening to his baby's heartbeat was like hearing his favorite song again for the first time. He actually waved at the screen when you had your sonogram. And he swore the baby waved back.

Bucky also bought a few books on babies and parenthood. While he knew some life lessons couldn't be learned from a book, he wanted to be prepared. You supported him in that and baby proofing the house in advance.

Your only request was that you didn't want to know what you were having, which he agreed to.

It would be a beautiful surprise for both of you.

"Need you both safe, too," he added.

"We are safe," you said, glancing around. "Our home is safe. You don't need to worry."

Bucky tried not to. Your home was secure and he kept a clean and safe shop in the barn, but he didn't want to take a risk by having you too close to any of the tools or get irritated by the dust. The only table he let you touch was the empty one where he made love to you. Maybe that was why it was still empty.

"I guess you're right," he said, brushing his lips against your forehead. "You know if we have a girl, I'm never letting her out of my sight."

"Oh, I know," you giggled, putting your hand on his wide chest. Feeling the wedding band through his shirt was one of his favorite things. "And if we have a boy, you'll teach him to be a gentleman. Though I imagine he'll probably be just like you."

"Hey, I am a gentleman, ma'am," he smiled.

"Mmm. You keep telling yourself that," you teased.

Bucky hoped they took after you. Kind, but fierce. Loving and fair. Whether he had a daddy's girl or a mini version of himself, he just wanted to have a special place in their heart.

"And you really don't mind that I'm making the crib, do you?"

"Of course, I don't," you said, frowning. He immediately kissed your lips to make it disappear. "Why?"

"Just making sure," he said, rubbing your belly. The source of comfort from such a small gesture amazed him. "I think I just feel better knowing our baby is truly in my hands."

It was silly, but Bucky thought if he made the crib that it would be like he was holding your child as he or she slept. That no matter what, they would be safe and cared for. Surrounded by familiarity and warmth.

Your baby deserved that and more.

"I think that's a beautiful thing," you assured him, placing a hand over his. "You work so hard for us and I know our baby will one day appreciate that you built them something with your heart and hands."

His hands, like the rest of him, were massive and strong. A man his size was meant to destroy, which he did in battle and worse. He also proved that he was meant to create. His size never intimidated you. In fact, you once said that one of many things that made him special was how deceptively gentle he could be.

That the only ruin he would bring you with his touch would make you whole again.

In my hands, you'll always be loved.

"I'll always work hard for my family," he promised.

He hadn't told you yet, but he planned to build a rocking chair for the nursery, too. He wanted it to be a surprise. He could already picture the two of you sitting in it with a soft blanket to keep you warm.

The image made his heart swell.

"And if I have my way, we'll have one more. Jellybean could use a companion."

"Now you sound just like Steve. Both of you wanting to keep your best girls knocked up," you smiled, sliding your hands up his muscular arms to his shoulders. "You think you'll convince me?"

"I don't think. I know," he smirked, kissing you before you could argue.

As excited as Bucky was for the next part in your journey together, he was also afraid. He knew he'd be a good father, but not a perfect one. He'd make mistakes and stumble along the way. He wouldn't always have the answer. What he did know was that he was going to give his child unconditional love and care.

Starting with the crib built with his heart and hands.

Bucky is going to be an amazing dad, right? And how about Steve? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #connect4au #woodworker!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #woodworker!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #into the woods au #bucky barnes x f!reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

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seungmoonandstars · 5 months

Text

𝐿𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 11k

rating: mature/explicit ಇ

comments: thanks everyone for the likes and reblogs and feedback! (´︶`) knowing someone is enjoying my fics makes writing seungmin so much easier. technically this is the last part, but not really...

⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ｡ ⋆

→ Blind Date

→ Second Date

→ Third Date

Part 4 of 4

Seungmin goes quiet after that, relaxes against the arm of the couch. You’re on the opposite side, doing the same. You watch each other carefully , but nobody makes a move, and nobody starts to speak.

You wonder if there was something you could have done to avoid all of this drama. Four and a half months of wondering; of being so down you can barely make it to work some days. Both of you have been really bad at this.

“Yes, I know it’s complicated.”

Counting the days and weeks until Seungmin comes back to you has been excruciating, sometimes anxiety inducing, and the only thing really keeping you together.

As of today it’s been 136 days since you spent the night with him. Twenty weeks, almost, since you looked at him face to face—touched him, kissed him, desperately wanted to confess how you’ve already fallen for him, and you never want to leave his side again.

But he did text you three days ago.

A part of you feels like giving up, because maybe this has gone on for far too long.

It’s nothing that Seungmin has done. He hasn’t said anything to you about things likely not working out. He talks to you in the same sweet, cheery way he always has when he actually has time to text, or call. You don’t resent him for his lack of communication, ever, because you know his lifestyle is worlds away from yours.

But the part of you that’s crazy about him sits and thinks: he can call for a five minute conversation, ask me how I am before I completely fall apart. You think…why hasn’t he messaged back? It takes a few seconds.

You hate having these thoughts. But you’re only human, and you have so much empty time to think about him.

It’s just not the same for him. It might never be the same for him.

Right now you’re staring out of your classroom window, completely lost in thought. The kids are working quietly, and it’s honestly the first time all day where you’ve been truly alone in your head.

There’s a loud knock on the door, and it makes you, and your students, jump.

“Come in…”

The door opens slowly, and the face that peeks through the door is a familiar one.

“Hey,” Choonhee waits a moment, then enters and closes the door behind her. She grabs a chair and finds a spot to sit directly in front of, across your desk.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“I’m on my way out, but I wanted to see you before I left. I keep missing you, and you’re not answering my messages.” The look she gives you is a little bit questioning, and a little bit irritated.

“Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my mind. I’m trying to get out of this slump.”

“Slump? The same one you’ve been in for the last…” she gestures vaguely at nothing, “month? Maybe longer, I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” you manage, but it comes out shaky. You feel your throat tighten, and the air is pushed out of your lungs. Your eyes sting with tears. You can’t do this here.

“Hey hey, I’m sorry.” Choonhee starts to stand, “go pull yourself together, I’ll watch the class.”

You inhale deeply and make your way to the restroom. Luckily you have it to yourself, because when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror, tears are starting to stream down your cheeks. The result of bottling up until you explode.

Talking to Choonhee about this was always an option, but you haven’t. For some reason, you didn’t want her know how deep the cut is that Seungmin has made in you.

Her blind date was probably never supposed to turn into this; something serious, something you want, maybe more than anything you’ve ever wanted. You feel stupid and childish about it, because you know who he is. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that it was him that initiated date number two, and three, sort of, otherwise you’ll convince yourself you somehow forced him into all of this.

It takes far too long for you to finish crying and clean yourself up, but she’s still sitting there waiting when you return.

“I’ll be over tonight, and we’re going to talk it out. Okay?” She says.

You nod, eyes still red, makeup probably giving you two black eyes.

“I have to get going, I’ll see you later. Your phone went off while you were in the bathroom.”

You watch her as she walks out, then look to your students. In a few minutes, they’ll be dismissed. And you can go home and finish the crying that you’ve started.

First, you sit and poke the screen of your phone. It’s just a text message.

No, it’s not just a text message. It’s Seungmin. Choonhee probably looked, but all she would’ve seen is the contact name for him; SM.

Weeks ago, you almost changed it to Minnie, but you didn’t. The impersonal, secretive SM remained. You unlock your phone and open it.

I hope you had a good day. You’re just leaving work, I think…if I have my time right

And just like that, he pulls you back up, and back in. He says the right thing at just the right time. Although today, he he did miss it by a few minutes.

Now you battle with whether or not you text him back immediately, or wait until you get home. Neither feels like the right thing to do. You stare down at the message until it’s time for you to dismiss your class, thinking of what to say to him.

It’s personal. He took note of the time, and remembered when it is you usually leave.

Part of you feels like crying again, but your heart is fluttering. You hate this.

———

“I got your favorite!” Choonhee starts unloading the bag of food she brought with her. “Don’t look so defeated over there.”

She let herself in while you sat folded up on the couch. You’re still looking at your phone, trying to figure out what to say to him. Should you keep it casual and tell him your day was alright? Lie?

No, you could tell him the truth; that it was a rough day, and you’ve had a lot of days like this lately because you haven’t seen him in such a long time. But you have no idea how he’d react to that. Maybe he would feel guilty about not texting more, or feel bad because he’s been too busy to see you when he is in Seoul.

Or maybe he would feel overwhelmed by it, and decide enough was enough.

Seungmin—the Seungmin you know, at least, has always come off very laidback. Open when he needed to be, but not overly so. He’s a little bit reserved, but so many moments with him have been…cute.

And Chicago. It’s been so long since Chicago—long enough that the memory is fading a little. You have to think back on it and keep yourself there, in that moment, to remember all the detail. It’s all still there, in your head.

Finally, you start to type.

“Hi Minnie. I had a rough day today…I hope I get to see you again soon.”

You stare at it until Choonhee clears her throat in an attempt to get your attention.

You read it once more, then send it.

“Okay, dinner is served. Eat and tell me what’s been bothering you.”

You set your phone face down on the table and take a few bites before getting into it. Starting the conversation will be the most difficult.

So you just start.

“This is a little bit my fault, isn’t it?” Choonhee listened quietly, but you could tell she wasn’t expecting this to be about him. “I pushed this on you. I knew he spoke to you back in…June? I think it was June. But I didn’t know you saw each other again after the first date.”

“Yeah, there was a second date. And a third. And, well…ya know.”

Her eyebrows raise, “what? Fourth, fifth?”

“No, we slept together.”

She’s silent for a long moment, but her eyes remain fixed on you.

“When I went home in July. Remember?”

She’s still silent.

“I haven’t seen him since then.”

“Seungmin doesn’t like opening up to people. He doesn’t do that. Or he didn’t, at least. Are you sure you didn’t just…dream it?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream about having sex with him and then convince myself it really happened.”

Choonhee throws her hands up and waves your remark away, “okay I’m sorry, I’m just…surprised. I mean, even the multiple dates is a little surprising.”

“Then why did you even set us up?”

She shrugs, and then struggles to find the right words, “I don’t know…you were both here, and alone. I didn’t want you to spend the holiday by yourself. I thought you’d like him…I guess I was right. I’m not usually good with matches.

“So…are you saying I should just move on?”

“No, absolutely not! Text him right now, and tell him you want to see him when he gets home. He doesn’t get to fuck and run. I don’t care who he is.”

She goes quiet for a few seconds, but you can tell she’s frustrated and deep in thought. “I knew you’d like him. I’m sorry, I made this mess. If he doesn’t get himself together and talk to you like he should, I’ll go find him myself.”

———

By the time your text message gets to Seungmin, he’s home, undressed, and about to hop into a very hot shower. He smiles when he reads Minnie, because in the far too few messages exchanged, you’ve mostly called him Seungmin. His smile fades when he reads the rest.

He knows he’s been bad at this. Not just bad, actually—he’s been pathetic. He’s ghosted you, and strung you along for weeks.

No, he thinks. It’s been months of sporadic texting. Every time he was home, or close to home, he ignored you. Not maliciously, of course, and ignored is a strong word. He messaged you, but it really was the bare minimum. Especially after the last time you were together; you gave yourself to him, and Seungmin took all that he could.

Now he can’t admit to you how much it scared him.

He sets his phone down for now, and climbs into the shower—because once again, his mind, body, and everything in between is tired.

He’s so tired, he feels like he could cry. Maybe if he just let go, let himself wrap around someone and cry into their chest, he would feel better.

———

“When did he text you last?” Choonhee is cleaning up the table, throwing things into the sink, and generally doing a terrible job of tidying. But she means well, and you let her at it. “Has it been a while?”

“Three days ago, before today. He sent a message while you were in my classroom earlier.”

“Oh, is that who the buzz was? Did you answer back? Maybe you should just make him wait around.”

“I replied right before we ate, only because it took me a while to figure out what to say.”

You’re back on the couch now, phone in hand, eyes staring at the stagnant message thread. Figuring out his schedule is tough sometimes, and you try (and usually fail) to stay off of Twitter and fan sites. Right now you’re sifting through them, though—looking for anything new.

You pull up a few airport photos from earlier today. Seungmin is hidden behind a mask and a hat, but you can see his eyes. He looks tired.

It makes your heart sink. You return to your message thread again and read through the last few texts; they feel more and more impersonal as time goes on, and that makes your heart sink, too.

Maybe he is pulling away from you.

“I know saying this won’t help, but do not let this take over. Don’t let him get into your head like this.”

“It’s too late for that.”

Choonhee grabs your arm and shakes it furiously, “he’s just a guy!”

———

Seungmin is flat on his back, covers fluffed up all around him, a pillow under his head, another under his feet. No matter what he does, he’s uncomfortable. He desperately wants and needs to fall asleep, but it’s alluding him. His brain won’t shut up.

The room is chilly, and that’s usually what does the trick. Cold room, warm bed, and he’s out like a light.

He picks up his phone and reads your text again.

Hi Minnie. I had a rough day today…I hope I get to see you again soon.

If only he could figure out what to say back to you. There are so many things he wants to say, and so few ways he can think of to type it out.

Even if he were to see you face to face, he’d be lost for words. Seungmin is not one to let people in, but he has already let you in.

And now he’s stupidly pushing you away.

He pulls up a photo of you and stares at it. This wasn’t the way he planned on relaxing, but his hand is finding it’s way under his shirt anyway, touching his stomach, slowly moving downward until reaches the waistband of his sweatpants.

Thinking of your one night together, somehow still vivid in his head after all this time, is enough to get him hard. And looking at you…he runs his hand down the length of his cock, grabs tight, and strokes himself slowly. The breath he lets out is shaky. He has to be quiet.

———

“Is he?” You look at her, only slightly defeated. “…just a guy?”

“You slept with him, you should know.”

“He’s not.”

The look she gives you is almost enough to make you rethink what you just said.

“I promise you, beneath everything, he’s like any other guy you’ve dated who got too close, freaked out, and disappeared.”

You shake your head. Then your phone buzzes in your hand, and the feeling makes your heart jump to your throat, and your stomach sink all at once. You don’t immediately move your eyes to the screen—you can’t.

“Was that him?”

Now you look. SM. You nod.

you still want to see me?

You will see him again, and you’ll tell him exactly how you feel.

“What did he say?”

You turn your phone so Choonhee can read the message. She rolls her eyes.

“He sounds like a guy. I’m sorry I got you into this…but, you are going to see him again I assume.”

“Yeah, of course.”

———

It’s not until you’re in bed, hours later, that you open his text in an attempt to answer. But it might be better to do this in the morning, because sending one and waiting for his reply is going to keep you up all night.

You stare anyway, trying to get your thoughts in order; your words, your feelings. Do you want him to know how you really feel now, or when you have him in front of you? Can you even get the right words out when he’s in front of you?

You open your notes app and begin working on a reply.

You know I want to see you, Seungmin. I’m trying to be patient and understanding, but it’s so hard when you’re on my mind every day. I hope you’re getting some rest, and I hope you’re doing well. And I hope I can see you before you leave again.

You fall asleep writing. And in the morning, there he is again. One text message sent at 5am.

I’m so sorry. I should have made time for you in October, but every time I wanted to ask you, I froze, I don’t know why, I have no excuse

For a moment, you think you accidentally sent the rough draft of your text in your sleep. You didn’t. This was just him, awake before dawn, finally giving you something sincere. Now you have to rethink your reply.

The typing notification pops up while you’re reading over his message again. Still awake at 6:45.

I remember you telling me you wake up at the same time every morning... Good morning

You feel like crying again. But not like yesterday.

“Good morning” is the best you can come up with this early. He’ll have to wait.

———

Seungmin falls asleep, eventually, but not comfortably.

He gets up from bed to clean himself up, change (he’s warm now, so he opts for less clothes), and hopefully he’ll still be a little bit tired by the time he hits the bed again.

At 4:45am, his body decides he’s had enough. Now he’s awake, eyes still closed, bed far too warm. He throws off the blankets and flips onto his back.

Immediately, and not surprisingly, Seungmin’s thoughts turn to you. You’re sleeping soundly, he hopes, unlike him. He imagines you in the bed he’s never seen; curled up, tucked in. Maybe if he was there with you, he could sleep.

Every time he gets back home, he tries to push himself again, and he fails. He did it in October, and then again in September, right before his birthday. He knows he can’t keep doing this to you.

He pulls out his phone and opens your message thread.

…I hope I get to see you again soon

Seungmin stops thinking and just types:

“I’m so sorry. I should have made time for you in October…”

He stops and reads it. October. He was busy with the album release, but if he looks back in his messages again, he can count the number of texts he sent on one hand. You sent just as many…well, one more than him. That last message he didn’t even reply to. You must have been fed up with him and his lack of communication. And you had every right to be.

“…but every time I wanted to ask you, I froze, I don’t know why, I have no excuse.”

This part is true. Seungmin is almost freezing again right now.

“I don’t know how to explain…”

Now he thinks.

“…how all of this is making me feel. Maybe I’m…”

Seungmin backspaces the last sentence before he even finishes it. And then he hits send.

At 6:45, he’s still wide awake. He remembers you telling him your alarm is always set for this time, so he sends one more message.

And you reply. He was right, you were awake. Just a good morning, though. He’s sure it’s far too early for you to deal with his wishy-washy bullshit.

———

When he doesn’t text again by lunch time, you decide he’s waited long enough. And you can’t waste time, really. He might not be in town for long.

“I want to see you, and I will see you. Today, tomorrow, it doesn’t matter. But I need it to be soon. Neither of us are allowed to be nervous anymore.”

It’s better, you decide, than whatever you wrote last night.

He’s silent as you drift through the rest of the school day (you assume he’s having trouble thinking of a reply to that), and right as the class is gathering their things and leaving, another teacher sneaks in and approaches you. Then you realize it’s not a teacher, but you recognize her. She’s a secretary you’ve spoken to a few times before.

She nods to you and smiles. “I know you’re on your way out, but there’s a visitor for you, a parent who insisted I bring them right to you. It seemed important.”

You have very specific times for parent/teacher visits, and this is not one of them. And there is nobody else who would visit you. You’re confused. “Okay, send them in…I guess.”

You look down at your phone—you doubt it, but maybe you missed a text message or a call. No, nothing.

“Hello.”

The way his voice floats over to you almost knocks you out, and when you turn to meet his eyes, your throat refuses to let you release the air in your lungs.

“Your last text was very insistent. I know this probably is not the best approach…but I haven’t been doing a very good job of anything lately.”

Still you just stare at him, lost for words. You look around your classroom, then down at yourself. This is not how you wanted to see him again, but do you have any room to complain?

He takes a few steps toward you, “was this a bad idea?”

You manage to shake your head and swallow. And then you realize your legs still work, with some effort. Two steps later, your arms wrap around his waist, your face disappears in his sweatshirt, and you squeeze.

His tiny, relieved laugh is music to your ears, and then his hands slide across your back until he’s fully embraced you.

You keep him there for a long time, and he doesn’t protest or try to pull you away. When he does speak again, it’s a question.

“How was your day?”

You slowly release him, but making eye contact is a bit of a challenge. “It’s better now.” So you fall apart when he does show up; no strong words, no looks of disbelief at his absence. You knew this would happen.

“Where can I take you? Home? Or…anywhere you want.”

“Home is good.”

“Okay, there’s a ride waiting for us.” He moves his hands up and over your shoulders, and he rests them on either side of your neck. “I understand if you’re angry with me, and if you stay that way.”

“I am. I don’t want to be.”

Seungmin leans closer, and he moves painfully slow, but eventually he makes it to your mouth. His kiss is light and short, but he keeps going back to peck at your lips, over and over, until you open up and hold him there.

Finally, clear memories of Chicago fill you up. His scent and his touch pull you right back, and you hope he remembers it like you do.

———

It feels like your first date. A quiet car ride, a slow ride up the elevator, an awkward, unsure walk down the hallway to your apartment door. Then walking into your messy living room.

“Are you hungry? I can order something for us,” he says as he’s carefully removing his shoes. “And we can talk while we wait.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll make some coffee.”

Seungmin doesn’t follow you to the kitchen, like he’s done a few times before. Instead, he sits on the couch, situating himself so he can still see you.

You try not to look at him as you work, but you fail, several times. He smiles every time your eyes meet, but it’s a sad smile. It’s not one you’re used to seeing.

“No small talk,” you tell him as you hand him his coffee. “I’ll lose my mind.”

“No small talk.” He nods.

“Where have you been?” You start, staring down at your mug. “Not physically, I know that already. I mean…in every other way.”

“Uhm—“ Seungmin thinks. His face twists a little, probably in confusion. “Where have I…”

“Mentally,” you can’t take your eyes off of him now. “Emotionally.”

“Oh, okay I understand.” He clears his throat, adjusts himself. “It’s been hard to keep my thoughts organized lately. It’s not just that I’ve been busy with work…I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I’m sorry.”

Seungmin shakes his head, “I could’ve fixed it, I’m sure. If I would’ve just talked about things with you a while ago, I probably would have slept easier.”

“I kept you up?”

“Yes. Well, thinking about you. I do think about you, all the time, even if I haven’t kept in touch. But I’ve been over complicating things, I think.”

“Talk to me now. Please.”

You think you can see his cheeks turning pink. His eyes are wide and shiny, but he’s unsure.

“I know, Seungmin…it is hard. It’s been hard for me, and I feel like it’s been a little more difficult for you. I kept everything to myself all this time, up until yesterday.”

He gives you another questioning look.

“Choonhee forced it out of me.”

He nods, sets his coffee down, and swings his legs up on the couch. Something about him making himself more comfortable puts you at ease. You remember him mentioning before that he felt relaxed being here, alone with you. "I don’t feel any pressure here." You hope he still feels that way.

“Tell me what you told her.”

“She did most of the talking.”

“Then what did Choonhee tell you?”

“That you’re just a guy, and I shouldn’t let you get to me like this.”

Seungmin actually nods at that—but he’s not looking you in the eyes now, so maybe he’s just…thinking about it. Or maybe he’s agreeing. You don’t know where this is going yet.

“I am just a guy, she’s right. I don’t want to be just a guy, though. Not to you.”

“Oh…”

“I thought I knew what was going on when we were together in Chicago, and I thought I knew what I wanted. I’ve been thinking all this time that if this couldn’t be a normal, traditional relationship, you would not be happy, not satisfied. And you’d tell me you weren’t interested in me anymore. I thought you would tell me you couldn’t do it.”

You almost interject; tell him that’s never what you expected of him. You wouldn’t never do that. Why didn’t you say that before? Instead, you used the hypothetical “if you weren’t who you are” question on him. You remain quiet, though, hoping he continues.

“…what I’ve been doing isn’t much better than what I’ve been afraid of. But you’re very smart, and I always knew that.”

You just smile at him, waiting for more.

“That’s why you were so worried when you found out who I was. You know this is much more complicated than that.”

“Yes, I know it’s complicated.”

He’s biting his lip. Tapping his foot. It’s almost touching you, and you want to stretch your leg out until it does, but right as you tell your brain to do it, his leg slides back. He sits up and leans forward, falls to his knees, and crawls across the couch.

Before you can squeak his name out, he’s straddling you, arms on either side of your waist. And then the full weight of his body is on you. Seungmin sets his head down gently against your chest and relaxes.

You freeze for a few seconds. You have fallen asleep on this couch with him before, but this feels like much more.

He doesn’t say anything, not even when you set your hand on his head—rake your fingers through his hair, wrap your other arm around his shoulders. He sighs, though.

When it feels like you’re drifting off to sleep, he finally speaks. It’s muffled against your shirt.

“You just want me, right?”

“What?”

“Even if nobody is allowed to know. And we can’t go out in public, and I have to pretend you don’t exist.”

“Seungmin, I know that we can’t have a normal relationship. I just want you…and to know that you want me.” You say the last part under your breath.

“I do.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I promise I’ll be better. And that I won’t be afraid to talk to you, and tell you too much.”

“You can tell me whatever you need to.”

“I don’t usually talk much…to anyone.”

It never occurred to you that he didn’t have someone to talk to when he was feeling down, or having a bad day. A bad week. He’s been bottling everything up, just like you have. Maybe for a very long time.

“You can talk to me about your bad days, Minnie, or when you can’t sleep. And about your good days. I would like to be that person.”

“Am I the reason you had a rough day yesterday? Have you had a lot of those?”

“Yeah, I have had a lot of bad days because I missed you.”

“You can tell me about your bad days, too. Even if they were bad because of me.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Seungmin laughs, and it shakes your whole body. “Good.”

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

The next morning is almost normal. Your alarm goes off at its regular time—6:45, and you’re tired, which is also normal. The room is chilly, and it’s so warm under the blankets that getting up is nearly impossible. An ordinary morning. The one thing that makes it different is that Seungmin is there when you open your eyes.

The alarm doesn’t even make him stir, but when you finally turn it off, he groans.

“I’m sorry, go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to work?” He asks, eyes closed, voice raspy with sleep.

“No, not today. I found someone to cover for me.”

He smiles and reaches his arm toward you, and he feels blindly around where he thinks you might be. “Why are you so far away?”

You move closer and grab his arm, “I’m right here. Go back to sleep.”

“I’ll try.”

…

Sleep eventually finds both of you again. When you wake back up a few hours later, he’s still there, breathing deeply, melting into your bed. You need to get up, but you wait a little longer. You really don’t want to wake him right now.

When he eventually wakes up on his own, he’ll feel better.

You close your eyes. And again, you fall asleep.

…

Something warm against your forehead wakes you up for a third time. Your eyes open and all you see is skin; Seungmin’s neck, his shoulder. The collar of his shirt is loose enough that you can see the start of his chest.

You pull him closer and push your face into him. He smells good. He smells like sleep and sweat and whatever leftover cologne is still stuck to him from yesterday.

Part of you still wants to keep your guard up. He’ll be gone soon, and then you’ll have to wait and see if his confidence and trust in you remains, and if he’ll really feel comfortable telling you the things he doesn’t tell anyone else.

“I can start,” you say, face still in his chest. You move up toward his neck and set your lips against his skin.

“Start what?”

“After we were together last, in Chicago, and we didn’t…use a condom. I did get a morning after pill, and I took it.”

He pulls you away so he can look at you.

“My period came really late after that, so I thought it didn’t work. And I was really scared. But I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell you because we hadn’t talked very much that week, and you didn’t need that on your mind anyway.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone.”

“Everything turned out okay.”

“You can talk to me any time you need to, even if I’ve been quiet.”

You nod, and you really want to believe him.

“Too soon for babies.” He whispers, just loud enough for you to hear him. He has a little smirk on his face, but he’s avoiding eye contact and staring at the little bit of space between you.

“You want them?”

“Hm?” Now he makes eye contact, and his ears are slowly turning red. “Uhm…yes, I always have. Do you?”

Having kids isn’t something you’ve thought about much (aside from the scare you had in July), because you haven’t met anyone you would want to have kids with. Well, until now, because looking at Seungmin and the sweet smile on his face is making you want them immediately. But you know that’s not possible for him.

“With the right person, yeah.”

“I’m sure someday I’ll be able to do that. Have the time to be there, for both of them. You and baby. I couldn’t be gone all the time and leave you alone.”

He stops for a second. You wonder if he’s even hearing himself speak.

“…Seungmin?”

“It was my turn to tell you something personal.” He brings his hands up to his face and rubs his cheeks, then his eyes. “Just in case I’m the right person.”

The conversation feels like too much, too soon. But you like it. He’s only been open with you like this once before: on your second date, when he admitted to being worried you’d like his friends more than him. You thought that was silly then, and now…you’re not sure you could like anyone more than Seungmin.

“…and if I’m your right person.”

Seungmin smiles and hides his face in the pillow.

———

As the day goes on, you wonder how long he’ll be here with you. Every time he looks at a message on his phone, you assume that will be his cue to get going—to start saying goodbye. But he’s still here, and he seems content.

It was his idea to stay, and he insisted on making breakfast.

“What do you normally do on your days off?” is what he asked as you sat and ate.

So it’s been a regular day off, aside from the fact that Seungmin is also here with you…eating, cleaning, sorting laundry, watching tv, and eventually, catching up with schoolwork.

He sits down next to you on the couch when you open your binder and pull out a stack of papers. He watches quietly as you shuffle though them, putting the pages in order before you start to look them over properly.

He picks the next one up before you get to it. “How old are your students again?”

“They are eight…a few are nine.”

“I don’t remember my English classes being this complicated when I was…older than them.”

“You should see their math homework.”

“Oh, I was very good at math!”

“Yeah?” You look at him, give him your full attention. “There’s so much I don’t know about you.”

“Not even what’s on the internet?” Seungmin leans back against the couch, and pulls you with him.

“I’ve read a few things. But I’m sure you’re a lot more complicated than your fun facts.”

“I hope so.” He grabs you around the waist, “what were you good at in school?”

“English…” you laugh. “And I did pretty good in my German class, and history.”

“Do you speak German, too?” He’s holding you tight, head resting on your shoulder.

“No, I’ve forgotten almost all of that.”

“Why did you come here, to Korea?

You turn yourself to look at him, disturbing his resting head. But he keeps his arms around you.

“So close to Samseong-Dong?”

“I felt like I needed to start over after I graduated college, and this seemed like the perfect way to do it. I actually almost went to Japan.”

“Why didn’t you? Where did you go to college?”

“Northwestern University. And I missed a deadline. Luckily, I already had applications submitted to a few different programs here and nearby.”

“And you chose here?”

Seungmin’s hands wander throughout the entire conversation, stopping when they reach just below where the hem of your shirt hits.

“They chose me.”

“That’s very lucky.” They slide underneath and up your back, “maybe we were meant to meet each other.”

“I’m not sure I believe in things like that.” You move yourself closer to him, until your face is inches from his.

“I don’t either, really. Fate, and soulmates. I’ve been called a…uhm, I don’t remember the English word. A negative person.”

“A pessimist?”

“Yes. Maybe sometimes I am, but…not always. I can be positive. I just like to be realistic.”

“A pragmatist.” You lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth.

“Mhm, both of those P words. I did get lucky, though.” He pushes forward, gently coaxing you to your back.

“Was it there before?” You ask. He’s hanging over you, studying your face. “Before Chicago, after I asked if you would date me?“

“Was what there? You mean, did I like you?”

“Yes, but…more than that. Or was it spending the night together?”

“It was before that. That’s why I wanted to spend the night with you.”

You nod, trying hard not to beam up at him. But his hands are on your sides, and his fingertips are moving so delicately over you, you can’t help but smile.

“When was it there for you?”

Your heart starts beating a little faster. You have no answer ready for him except the truth.

“When you gave me Pochacco.”

“On our first date? At the coffee shop?”

You throw your hands over your face and nod, “yeah, at the coffee shop.”

“I felt kind of silly giving him to you, I thought you would think it was silly, too.” He pulls your hands away so he can see your face again.

“It wasn’t.”

“So PuppyM wasn’t silly either?”

“No, I love him. And your denim jacket you left, that’s hanging on my bedpost. I love all of your gifts.”

“Oh, I forgot about that jacket!”Seungmin comes down and settles himself against you, face in your neck, hands wondering more.

“You can have it back, if you want.”

“No, you keep it. But I do need something of yours to keep with me.” His hands slide under your shirt and across your stomach. He tickles your side again, then stops when he reaches your hip.

You’re surprised at his restraint.

“I’m sure I have something for you.” You set your hand over his and slide it up his arm. Then back down.

His fingers twitch and push under your shorts. As ready as you were, and as much as you wanted him to make that move, your breath still catches in your throat.

He props himself up with his other arm and looks at you. His fingers touch lightly over your underwear, taking his time, getting himself where he needs to be.

But you’re not taking your time. And it’s Seungmin touching you, so your body is already on fire. You push your hips up and push his hand harder against you.

His fingers slide up and sneak beneath the fabric. He moves slowly, and he’s watching you carefully, as if you might protest.

But of course you don’t. You grip his arm and slide your hand from his bicep down to his wrist, moving with him as his fingers slip inside of you.

“Am I doing okay?” He leans closer and whispers. He doesn’t wait for an answer before pulling out and sliding back over your clit, making you choke on your answer.

You manage a shaky mhm and Seungmin giggles into your ear. His fingers stay put, making soft circles around you, keeping his touch as delicate as possible. Then he takes them off again, and he pushes back inside.

The reach of is fingers is enough to hit just the right spot, and when you jump from the pressure, he does it again and again until he gets a moan out of you.

You lift your hips into his touch and pull him down for a kiss. Your grip on his arm tightens and he eases up, but barely. His mouth is working its way across your neck now, leaving you free to moan.

“Do you do this a lot?” He says as he nibbles across your ear and cheek. When he gets to your lips, he hangs above you and holds your gaze. His thumb slides over your clit again, like he wanted to remind you of what he was talking about.

“Uhh…hmm?” You slide your hand up and grab a handful of his hair. “Yes.” You laugh and knead your fingertips into his scalp—it makes his eyes roll back. He’s in your neck again, savoring his little massage.

“Do you think about me when you do it?”

His question sends another wave of pleasure through you. His fingers slip inside again, pressing hard. His thumb is on your clit, wet and sliding easily and hitting everywhere you need it to.

There’s hot, heavy breathing in your ear, and a sweet whisper, “do you think about me, hm?”

“Every time,” your climax hits fast, and Seungmin knows he’s succeeded by the way you’re pulling at his hair.

He holds himself up just enough to watch you squirm beneath him. His touch softens even more as you start to relax, and when you stop and stare up at him, he comes down and kisses across your forehead and down the side of your face. He lets you catch your breath before moving to your lips.

“Really?” Seungmin blushes and tries to stifle his laugh in your neck.

You nod slowly, “that was…very good.”

“Thank you.”

“Too good, maybe.”

“I did some research.”

“You did not.” But when you think about it for a second, it does seem like something Seungmin would do. “Did you?”

“Just a little. In case I’d get to try it out on you someday.”

———

Seungmin looks carefully across your desk, touching the books stacked there, the loose sheets of composition paper, the notes and pencils. He sits in your chair and opens the drawer—inside are a few notebooks, all used and full. He shuffles things around a little, searching every inch.

Now he gets up and moves to your bookshelf. It’s more of a trinket shelf, though. Seungmin only runs his eyes over this, until he catches sight of a snow globe. He picks that up and shakes it. Inside is the Chicago skyline.

He stares at it for a long moment, then returns it to his spot. His attention turns to you, on the bed.

You just smile at him. He keeps looking around.

The next stop is your bedside table. You sit up when he sits down on the edge of the bed, run your hand down his back. As soon as he opens it, he whispers an ooh, and reaches inside.

“What did you find?” You laugh.

“Me,” he holds up three photocards with his face on them.

You take them from him and fall back on the bed, “you”, and look deeply at paper Seungmin.

“Hey, I’m right here…” he pushes your hand away and bends down to kiss you. “Real me.”

The next thing pulled from the drawer is a journal. He looks it over, but doesn’t open it.

“That’s you, too.”

Seungmin points to it, and his head tilts, “this is me?”

“Yeah, almost every page.”

His face goes from confusion to understanding, and then it falls a little.

“You should add one more page.”

“I will.”

The journal goes back in, and then his fingers close around something small. When he pulls it out, it catches the light and throws a reflection across the room.

“Oh, I haven’t worn this since last time.” You sit up and Seungmin hands you the bracelet. It’s only a tiny gold chain, but at the very end of it is a star charm.

“This.” He says, and he watches as you unclasp it, wrap it around his wrist, and close it again.

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

An hour after Seungmin left your house the last time, he sent you a text that just said “I’m home”. That was a first, and it felt like a good omen. But only time would tell. He never really had a good start with keeping in touch.

But he also said goodnight. And then he said good morning. And sometimes he called just to tell you instead of texting.

Actually, this morning, almost two months later, he called early in the morning, when you were still asleep. You caught his name on the lock screen before you picked up, but you still lacked the energy for anything more than a groggy morning Min.

Luckily, he can make up in enthusiasm what you lack some days.

“I’m sorry, you’re still asleep,” he whispers.

“No, it’s okay. I’m just being lazy. What are you up to this morning?” You also caught sight of the time before answering: 10am, way too late for you to sleep in.

“Catching a flight home, from Thailand. Waiting around.” Now you can hear the sleep still lingering in his voice.

“Oh right. I forgot you were there…I did see some photos. You looked very handsome in your safety glasses.”

“Thank you,” he laughs. “I was calling to…uhm, say good morning, and also to see if you would be home tonight.”

“Minnie, I’m always home.”

“That’s true, but it would still be rude to just show up unannounced.”

“I give you permission to show up unannounced.”

“Can I have a key, too? Oh, that reminds me…uuh, well, actually I’ll just talk to you about it later.”

“Okay, don’t forget. And yes you can have a key.”

———

This is the first time you’re not nervous about Seungmin coming over. Well, not as nervous as you typically would be. You’re still a little on edge—a little worried about how you look and about how your food is going to taste.

He didn’t mention anything about coming over hungry, but you’re taking the initiative anyway. If anything, he’ll have something to take home with him.

A soft knock at the door. You know his soft, steady knock, and you never have any other visitors, so it’s him. But for some reason you stand there stupidly, not moving, not saying anything, because you know it’s really him on the other side of your door.

Finally, after a few seconds, you take a breath. “It’s open.”

The door swings open.

“Hi,” Seungmin closes it quietly, takes off his shoes and looks at you from across the room. “It smells very good in here.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten so…”

“No, nothing since lunch.” He takes a few long strides toward you. Big blue sweatshirt, matching sweatpants, a big smile. “So I’m very hungry,” he embraces you and squeezes you tight against his chest. “How have you been?” He relaxes, but he doesn’t let you free.

“I’ve been okay...I’ve been good.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t visit around Christmas—oh!” He bends down and kisses you.

He kisses for a long time—long enough that you think you might end up in bed before you even eat dinner. But he slows down, and then releases you.

“Happy new year! A little late.” He comes down again for one more kiss, and then makes his way to the kitchen. “What did you make? Something American? It smells like something American.”

“Yes. It’s very American.”

“Should we eat first, or talk?”

“I’m sure we can manage both.”

———

The two of you stare at each other from across your tiny kitchen table. Seungmin sips his tea. You just watch and wait, because this is his conversation.

“Do you want me to start? Something about you having a key to my apartment?”

“Ah, yeah. Yes, I should have a key, but I was thinking of a different apartment.”

“Oh, like yours? No, you don’t have an apartment. Or do you?” You lean a little closer, “secret apartment?”

“No, no secret apartment,” he laughs. “But I thought it would be nice if you lived closer. Closer to the city, and closer to me.”

“That would be nice, but I’m not sure something closer is in my budget.”

“I know,” Seungmin smiles—there’s always something so clever and knowing about his smile. “I figured you might say that. I could help.”

“You want to help me with rent? Expensive rent. That’s kind of serious.”

“I do! It is serious. I am serious.”

“You are?” You sit back in your chair and study his face. He’s still smiling and nodding at you.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about it for…almost two months. And I found somewhere I think would fit very well.”

“Closer to you?”

“Much closer. I could walk to you.”

You’re thinking, but you’re not really thinking. The obvious answer to this is yes, even though it’s hard to just come out and say it. The idea of someone else helping with rent, or helping with anything, is foreign to you. “I would like to be closer to you.”

Seungmin looks at his phone, pulls something up on it, and then slides it to you across the table. “How is something like this?”

You trust Seungmin’s taste and judgement, but you still want to look it over thoroughly. Distance, yes, but also the size, the layout. And you do not have enough windows in this apartment. You’d like more windows. If he’s as serious as he looks, it might as well be worth whatever money you’re both going to put into it.

“How about this one?” You pull up a different listing.

He looks it over, “still very close. Oh, two bedrooms. Maybe the extra space would be nice.”

“It is a little more, sorry (Seungmin shakes his head when you say that), but it has a bathtub instead of just a walk-in shower. And it’s own laundry.”

He laughs, “I could do my laundry faster if I bring it with me. And the kitchen is nicer.”

“I miss having a bathtub.” You hand him his phone back. “But are you sure this isn’t too much? I know you said you were serious—“

“I am…I want you to know that I’m very serious. I think this is a good way to show you. And it’s also very practical.”

“You seemed so unsure before. I just want you to be…good. I want both of us to be good.”

“I’m very good.”

“This is a little crazy, isn’t it? All of this.”

“Yes, it is. I’ll call about it tomorrow.”

“No, I can. Let me do that, at least.”

———

“Minnie?”

Mmhm?

You sat on the couch after dinner, and it didn’t take much time before he had you on your back. He lifts your shirt as far as this position will allow, letting his fingers dance over you—making you squirm a little from how soft his touch is.

Forming the words you want to say is much harder than you thought. They’re dancing around in your head; you’re moving them back and forth, but every way it comes together feels like too much or not enough. Maybe right now just isn’t he time.

“What’s wrong?”

You pull your shorts down, open your legs for him, then shake your head. “Nothing.”

Seungmin reaches down and feels you, slips his fingers inside, then slowly pulls them back out. He smiles against your mouth and pushes in again, just to feel how wet you are. “Are we okay here…are you comfortable?” He asks sweetly. His fingers are still inside, moving delicately.

You nod, but suddenly you remember that you are not good, and you’re not ready. “Shit, no we’re not good. We need a condom this time.”

“Oh right, we should be safe. Tell me where they are,” he adjusts his sweatpants and very carefully lifts himself off of you.”

“In my black bag, under my bed.”

You listen as he slides it out and digs around. The contents of that bag are a mystery, but the condoms you bought back in Chicago, both boxes, have to be in there still. You’re not that bad at unpacking, but if it’s something you don’t use, you’re definitely going to forget I’m about it under there forever.

When he comes back in, he has one in each hand.

“I’m….not sure which one is for me.” His voice seems a little dejected. He’s looking down at them as he approaches you.

“Oh Minnie, they were both for you. I bought these a while ago, when I didn’t know which would fit you better.”

“Oh,” he finally makes eyes contact again. His face softens a little. “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s okay, come here.” You spread your legs again and wait for him, “I’ll put it on for you.”

He crawls back onto the couch, settles between your legs, and opens both hands, palms up, in front of you.

You take the right one and rip it open. Seungmin looks like his mind is suddenly full. His eyes are big and soft.

“Min, what’s on your mind?”

His hands are already on his sweatpants, pulling them down his hips.

“You are.”

You touch him, slide your fingertips down, and then back up. The condom goes on easily. “Does it feel okay?”

He nods and adjusts, makes himself comfortable, and lifts your legs until he has more room. He pushes in a halfway, then leans over until you’re almost nose to nose.

“Minnie?”

“Hmm?” He sets his forehead against yours.

“There’s only you.”

“Just me?” He pushes his nose into yours, “only me?” Pecks at your lips.

“Just us.”

“Only us.” Seungmin pushes the rest of the way in, waits a moment, then begins to fuck you slowly and deeply, “you’re all mine.” He whispers in your ear as he drags his lips over it.

It takes you a second to pull yourself together. Each thrust sends you upward and knocks the breath out of you, but you manage a nod.

“Tell me,” he quickens his pace. The couch shakes the end table, and you can hear the clatter of things falling to the floor. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.”

It comes out shaky, and it’s not good enough for you. But Seungmin is still smiling. You try again

“I’m yours,” you grab the back of his neck and hold him still, “I only love you.” Your hand grabs hair and pulls—lips close on his before he has a chance to speak.

But he sighs into the kiss. He slows down, and it feels like he’s melting into you more and more with each thrust. What little skin is exposed between the two of you slides together, damp with sweat, and Seungmin kisses every part of you he can get to in the position he’s in.

He tries to get rid of your shirt, but he can’t stop, and he has to stop to make any progress—so you clumsily lift it, and your bra, until you’re free.

His hand slides up your ribs and his fingers graze over you, but for now he just watches how he’s making your body move under him. He seems hypnotized, but eventually he blinks, and then his eyes are fixed on yours again.

The room is quiet—no ambient noise from the tv, no music, nothing. The only sounds are the heavy breaths and soft moans you’re sharing. The condom is slowing him down, keeping him here much longer, and everything feels good in this position; good enough that you’d be satisfied staying like this as long he needs it.

He made you come last time, and now you want to do the same for him.

You lift him off of you until you can see him better.

He looks you in the eyes again, satisfied and smiling. “You feel so good,” he’s back down again, mouth on your chest, kissing down until he can close his lips around your nipple. He licks and works his way back up, stopping at your throat and staying there, his warm breath hitting you. “You love me?”

Your heart jumps. It was already racing, but now you feel it everywhere. In your throat, your chest, your head. You don’t think you’ve ever told anyone that before; not so soon. It’s been a year, but tonight is only the sixth time you’ve seen him and touched him. Everything else has been texts, phone calls, video calls.

It doesn’t matter. You said it because it felt right, and it still feels right.

“Yes.”

Seungmin slows his pace. His exhales turns into a string of soft, dulcet moans. He lifts himself upright and holds your hips as he rolls into you. He comes quietly. You wouldn’t have even realized if you weren’t looking right him.

The satisfied look on his face makes your stomach swirl. You watch Seungmin smile before your eyes close, and you can hear him whisper something to you while you’re coming down from your own high.

He pulls out and carefully brings your legs together.

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything, love.” He sits you up next to him and pulls your t-shirt over your head, “I was just…” he pulls you close, “nothing, it’s not important right now.”

“Will you stay here tonight?”

“Yes, I’ll stay.”

———

It’s been a long six weeks. You’re a little stressed out, but you’ve been holding yourself together very well, you think.

This apartment has been your only home for more than three years, so packing your things up and preparing to leave has been a little bit emotional. Almost everything is out of here and all that’s left are a few things you’re taking along on the last car ride.

Before this, everything was moving in slow motion and it was killing you. Now, it won’t slow down. You’re happy, and you’re grateful for everything that Seungmin has done for you…and it’s still sometimes hard to believe he’s doing it all just for you. But it’s so much all at once.

He told you he would stay tonight—your first night there. You haven’t received a text telling you otherwise, so you’re hoping he will be there when you arrive. You do have to remember that you’ll be there alone most of the time, though.

Some things will remain the same.

———

The elevator ride up is long, and you think back to you and Seungmin—your first date, bringing him home with you to your 5th floor apartment, thirty minutes out of the way, just to have him to yourself.

That was probably a good indication that he liked you. You just didn't realize it at the time.

You finally stop at the 17th floor.

The original apartment you looked at was unavailable when you called the next morning, so Seungmin insisted on taking everything into his own hands while you were at work. He knew what you were looking for, but he went overboard.

This apartment has the windows, the bathtub, and laundry room, but it also has double the space—and three bedrooms. When you asked what you were supposed to do with all of the extra room, Seungmin shrugged and said we’ll figure something out.

You don’t even own enough to fill up half of it. Everything that required any sort of muscle; the bed, the living room furniture, it all stayed behind. Most of the things in this apartment are new, or they will be new.

Before you have a chance to explore any further than the kitchen, you hear a very faint, soft knock on the door. You know it’s him and you run to open it, but he punches in a code on the doorknob, turns it, and peeks in before you get there.

“I tried to beat you here.” He smiles.

“You almost did.“

He closes the space between you and pulls you into a hug. “How was your day? Did the movers get everything here?”

“It was alright, and…I think so, but I haven’t gotten any further than this.”

“Just alright? I know it’s been a lot lately.”

“I’m better now that I’m here, and you’re here.” You take his face in your hands and squeeze his cheeks, “let me see, smile.”

Seungmin smiles widely and dramatically, and then bends down to kiss you. “How do I look?”

You pull him back for another one, “still handsome.”

He picks up the bags he walked in with and sets them on the kitchen chair. “I brought us dinner, and a few things to make you feel more at home.” Seungmin is pulling the food out of the bag, piece by piece. “So you didn’t see the bedroom yet?”

“Not yet, why?”

He shakes his head and smiles, “we’ll see it later.”

“What did you bring me?”

“Oh, let’s see!” He starts digging in the other bag.

You watch as he carefully places an assortment of things along side the food. There’s a candle, two candles, a small picture frame, but you can’t see the photo from where you’re standing. A stuffed dog. Another stuffed dog. One of them is Pochacco, the other is a mystery, but he does look familiar.

“That’s all for now but I do have more stuff to bring.”

“Well, we have plenty of space to fill.”

He beams at you, grabs one of the stuffed dogs, and pulls you against him. “This wasn’t mine, but I have one just like it.”

“I like him, he looks like you.”

Seungmin laughs and looks at Daengmo, “yes, he kind of does.”

———

When the sun goes down, and you’re both full and relaxing, you begin to feel even more nostalgic for the conversations you had and the memories you made with him at your old place, on your old couch. You have to work on new memories now.

He’s facing you on the new couch, eyes closed, slow, steady breaths. The flicker of the tv is hitting his face, making his cheek and the soft brown of his hair glow.

Very slowly, you reach your foot out and touch his.

Seungmin’s eyes open, and he gives you a sleepy smile, “how was dinner?”

“Good.” You sit up and move closer to him, “we should go to bed while you’re still sleepy.”

He groans and shrugs his shoulders.

“We gotta go see the bedroom, remember?” You grab his hand and pull a little, and he immediately gives in.

The bedroom is warm and cozy, like it’s already been lived in. You know Seungmin came in at some point and made it this way; the curtains are pulled, the soft amber lights are clicked on, and one of the candles he brought is lit on the bedside table. Both of the stuffed dogs he brought, and your PuppyM, are already laying on top of the pillows.

The bed is made, but not too made. The blankets are loose and fluffed up, ready to crawl into.

“How does it look?” He sounds a little more awake now.

“It looks perfect, come on.”

He shakes his head, “If we don’t brush our teeth now, we will never get back up to do it.” He smiles and kisses you softly.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

———

The lights are off, the candle is out. Seungmin is facing you in bed.

“Are you awake? Did you lose your sleepy?”

“A little.”

He scoots closer until his arm can drape over you. The bedroom is bigger, and the bed is bigger, too. You’re sharing one side just to be close to each other.

“It will come back soon.”

You set your forehead against his chest and feel it move steadily with each breath. It's quiet for a long time, and now sleep is really escaping you. You should be able to relax like this; you’ve shared a bed with him a few times before, and you haven’t slept as well since. And you’re tired—too tired. Maybe too exhausted for sleep.

You wonder if he’s awake, or if he’s quiet because he thinks you’ve finally drifted off.

You run your hand gently over his arm, waiting for a reaction. At first, he doesn’t make a move or a sound, but when you slide your hand back up, he moves his leg against yours.

“Can’t sleep?” He whispers

“Did I wake you?”

“You didn’t.”

“Then no, I can’t sleep.” You prop yourself up on one arm and look down at him. It’s dark, but you can just make out the details of his face.

He flips onto his back and pulls the covers away. “Are you uncomfortable?” Seungmin asks and places his hand on your cheek. He’s warm, his eyes are warm. His mouth parts slowly and turns into a smile. It’s a tired smile. “New bed.”

“New everything.”

“Except for me.”

Your hand closes around his, then you turn your head to place a kiss on the inside of his wrist. “Thank you for being here. I know you’re on a tight schedule.”

Seungmin pulls you down on top of him. His face is in your neck, kissing playfully and lazily, but the way his hands are exploring you is anything but lazy.

“You’re cold,” he stops, wraps his arms around your waist, and holds you there. “You need to be warmed up.”

You get your hands underneath his shirt, “you’re warm enough for both of us.”

“I can share.”

“Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Yes, I would love that,” he laughs softly and disappears in your neck again.

The stupid question bounces around in your head. His warm lips on you are starting to make your head fuzzy, and you wonder if you should just forget it. But now he’ll get it out of you somehow.

“Will you sing for me?”

He pulls back to look at you. Seungmin’s face lights up. It could light up the entire room. “You want me to sing for you?” If he was sleepy at all before, he’s not now. You’ve managed to wake him the rest of the way with a simple, stupid, request. But it wasn’t stupid at all.

“I always have, it just never seemed like a good time.”

“Right now? Should I sing now? Maybe it’s too quiet, and the walls might not be very thick.”

“In the morning?”

He nods, “yes, I’ll sing for you in the morning. What should I sing?”

“Surprise me.”

“We talked about singing together before, remember?”

“I remember,” you wrap around him and pull the covers back up in an attempt to get him sleepy again. “But I’d rather just hear you.”

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

#kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin x y/n #seungmin x reader #seungmin x y/n #seungmin x you #skz seungmin #seungmin smut #seungmin fluff #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin smut #skz fluff #skz fanfic #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic

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softspaceboibrian · 11 months

Text

The Heart Wants What It Wants || Jamie Tartt

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N where Y/N works at AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Characters: Jamie Tartt; Keeley Jones and Rebecca Welton (Y/N's best friends); Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes and Dani Rojas (Jamie's support team); Roy (being his usual grumpy self).

Summary: when Y/N goes into Rebecca's office to have her usual morning chat with her best friends, she doesn't expect it to result in a very messy confession from her crush.

Warnings: bad language, like a lot. slight sexual harassment. Roy being harsh with Jamie. Jamie being all over the place with his feelings. fluff, a lot of pining and crushing. just bad writing, really.

WC: 8355 (it's kinda long, I know... but I didn't know where to stop! sorry!)

A/N: This is my first time writing for JAmie or any Ted Lasso character in general. I hadn't written anything in months, and I guess it shows. but I was so sad that there weren't enough Jamie fics on here that I thought I could just write one of my own. hopefully people like it! I'm in the middle of my exam session, but if you have any requests or suggestions, feel free to write me!

this gif is completely unrelated, i just love phil dunstan

“Come in” Rebecca’s voice was clear and loud as always, even through the closed door. As you walked in, you took in the smell of hot tea permeating the door – definitely something you could always count on.

You greeted both Rebecca and Keeley, before plopping down on the sofa right in front of the big windows looking out onto the field. You looked out for a moment, noticing the team making their way outside to finally begin practice. You had been working at AFC Richmond for almost a year now, all thanks to Miss Keeley fucking Jones, obviously. Ever since you first day there, everyone had immediately started treating you as if you had always been part of the family, especially Rebecca. “If Keeley likes you so much, it must definitely mean something.” That was her excuse when she invited you out for drinks with the two of them on the second day. “Also, there’s only so many women working at AFC Richmond, we have to stick together, don’t we?” And the rest was history, as some author would say. Even the team had liked you since the get-go. Some more than others. There should be a disclaimer here: you had never cared for football, in any of its forms. But Keeley had been so persuading, making the job sound like a party. And she wasn’t lying. Being with the team was more fun than you could have ever imagined. Yes, some of them were self-centred, and some were self-centred pricks, even. But somehow, you had taken a liking to all of them. And now, after an entire year of working there, you knew them so well that she could even make out who was who all the way from Rebecca’s office.

You were so lost in your own thoughts, that when Keeley talked, you almost jumped out of her seat. “Babes, is everything alright?” Her voice was kind as always. “You seem off today.”

“Everything is fine.” You fixed yourself, turning around so to face both of your friends.

You smiled, or rather you forced yourself to make your smile feel as real as possible. But when you met Rebecca’s gaze you froze. She was holding one of those shortbread biscuits that Ted brought her in every morning and that you only had the pleasure to taste once and, well, you completely understood why Rebecca loved them so much. “I call bullshit.”

“What?”

“I said I call bullshit.” The woman put the last remaining bit of biscuit in the small, pink cardboard box, as to save it for later, and then made her way on the couch with you and Keeley. “You have been off for, well, quite a few days now. And I love that you’re an independent woman and everything, but Keeley and I are your friends. Actually, I would like to believe that we are your best friends. We care for you and we would very much appreciate it if you would trust us enough to come to us with your problems and thoughts.”

“Yeah, babes. You know we’re always here for you.” Keeley moved closer to you and leaned against the back of the couch.

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. You had wanted to talk with them for a while now, but you were always too afraid they wouldn’t care about it, or you were too embarrassed about how they might react to it. But this time it was them that asked you to tell them. And they seemed truly interested in knowing what was going on in your mind.

“Chop, chop, out with it.” Rebecca let her heels fall to the ground and set herself comfortably in the corner of the couch. Yeah, well, as comfortable as that extremely fitted pencil skirt gave her permission to.

You bit your lip for a moment, gathering all the courage you had. “It’s stupid, really.” You tried to laugh it off, hoping that they would just let it go.

But they didn’t. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you feel like this.” Keeley said, putting a hand on yours.

“Fine.” You sighed, looking off in front of you. “I think I may have feelings for Jamie.” You blurted out as quickly as you could.

“Our Jamie? Like, Jamie Tartt?” Keeley asked.

“I know it’s stupid. I shouldn’t like him, right? I know you think it’s stupid. I know you think he’s a prick, and you’re not wrong. I know that he’s a prick. Fuck, that makes me hate myself even more. How could I like a prick? Well, he had changed a bit, and now he-s a bit less of a prick. But still, he’s Jamie fucking Tartt, he’s probably one of the hottest footballers out there, in any way possible. He could fucking have whoever he wanted. Hell, he could have a fucking model. I’m sure he had model. He had you, Keels. And I’m just me. I fucking hate that I’m feeling this.” You started rambling on aimlessly, putting out there in only a few seconds all the fears and insecurities you had been holding in for the past who knows how long.

“Hey, love. Just, wait a minute.” Rebecca’s voice broke your train of thoughts, thankfully just in time, or who knows where you could’ve ended. “Let’s just calm down a moment, okay?”

“It’s just-” You sighed. “I hate that I’m feeling these feelings. I don’t want to feel them. Not for him. I don-t want to be his latest conquest that he’s going to move on from and forget as soon as he finds someone more interesting. I don’t want this. But I can’t help it. I… Fuck, I feel like I’m back in middle school. Shit, shit, shit. How old am I? 12? No, I’m not. I’m 25 years old, for fuck’s sake. I should fall for proper man. Not people like him.” Your eyes filled up with tears, which you tried to hide as best as you could, even though you knew that the other two would notice them, nonetheless.

And they did. Rebecca and Keeley shared a quick glance, before sliding even closer to you, both immediately wrapping their arms around your figure. “Listen, babes. You said it yourself. I’ve been with Jamie, and he was in his top prick form back then. Now he’s… he’s changing. I don’t know if it’s the training with Roy or if it’s Ted finally rubbing off on him, but he’s no longer the dickhead I dumped almost two years ago.”

“She’s right. He has changed.” Rebecca agreed with Keeley. “Also, you cannot tell your heart what it should and shouldn’t feel. It will only cause you more pain, and we definitely don’t want that.” The woman had this motherly instinct that you had always loved. She always knew what to say to make you feel better, or at least less shitty about yourself. “And remember, you could never do worse than me. I was married to the king of the shitheads.” She added, which made both you and Keeley laugh.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Keeley got up and ran to the door, only to lock it and run back to the couch. “If it’s alright with Rebecca, we’re going to take the morning off to talk, just the three of us.”

“Sounds perfect to me. I really didn’t have much to do anyway.” Rebecca was a great liar. You knew she probably had so many documents to read through and to sign. But she always made time to help you with your problems. And that’s why you loved her so much. “Is that right with you, love?”

You didn’t even need to say anything. You barely nodded, and next thing you knew, the three of you were sitting on the couch with no shoes on, a warm cup of tea each and a big chunky blanket on your legs. You never really thought they would be this open with you. Yes, they had made it clear ever since the beginning that they liked you and that they cared for you. But you had never thought that you could go to them for something like that and they would do all of that for you. But they did.

“Okay, let’s start with one simple question: are you two talking? Or, I don’t know, did you go on a date?” Keeley’s question was very straightforward and made completely sense. However, the answer wasn’t as easy to give.

“Well, we haven’t really gone on like a proper date. But we did spend quite a lot of time together last week.” You looked at the other two and you could feel them asking for more information with just their eyes. “It didn’t start as the best of situations…”

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You didn’t really want to go out that night. It wasn’t really your thing. You usually spent your nights at home, reading a book or watching a movie. Or, if you were lucky, you would go out with Keeley and Rebecca for dinner and drinks, which you loved. What you didn’t love was going out for drinks with people you weren’t as comfortable with. But you had never really learnt how to say no to people, so when your old high school friend – who had moved to America for college and you hadn’t heard from since – messaged you on Instagram, saying that she was back in London for a few days and wanted to go out with you to “catch up”, you couldn’t really bring yourself to decline the offer or make up an excuse. So, you just agreed and made plans to meet up with her in front of a very busy and very fancy place downtown. You hated clubs, especially busy one, but even more you hated going to new places without people you knew. But you knew the girl, in a way. You were really close in high school, so things shouldn’t be too bad, right?

“So, you’re working for a football club! Never thought it would happen!” The girl shouted over the loud music which you were already hating with all your guts. But you just pulled through it.

“Yeah, it’s a good job.” You hated having to raise your voice so much, but it was the least you could do if you wanted to have a conversation with her.

“Do you know any famous footballer?”

“I mean, I know the boys from the team. I suppose they’re famous now. But yeah.”

“Would you introduce me to any of them?”

There it was. You had been talking with her for half an hour and, knowing how she was back in high school, you had been wondering how she hadn’t yet asked you about the guys. A small part of you really wanted to believe that she had changed and that she had stopped sleeping around with guys just because they were hot. But apparently, you were wrong. “Well, it’s complicated. They’re in the middle of the Premier season right now, and most of them are training really hard hoping to be rostered for their national teams. Plus, you’re only going to be in town for a few days, so that wouldn’t really work.”

“I wouldn’t mind moving my flight back for a footballer.” She smirked.

“Maybe next time.” You fake-smiled. “Also, who would want to go out with a football player? Most of them are self-centred assholes who only care about winning.”

“But they are sexy and they have money.”

“But you’re studying law in an ivy league college, you could be the one with money in the relationship.”

“Nah, I don’t really care about that. If a hot guy with money wanted to be with me, I would literally give everything up.” She said, as if that was the most obvious answer. Now you were remembering why you never reached out to her after high school was over.

You spent another half hour listening to her blabbering about something you didn’t really care about. And you could tell that she knew, but didn’t say anything. That was how things had always been between the two of you back in school: she was the popular one, with guys running after her, and her constantly cancelling plans that you two had made to go on a date with a different guy, while you spent your afternoons with the drama club, putting on the next show, to which she was always invited but she never came. It wasn’t all bad. You actually had good times with her. You spent a lot of time over at her house, and you were almost part of her family. But once you were no longer forced to see each other every single day at school, it didn’t take long for you to realise you were completely different. So, you just stopped looking for each other, making plans or going out. That’s why, when the messages stopped coming altogether, it didn’t really hurt you, since you were the first that had started to back out from that friendship. But years had passed and you had really hoped she had grown out of that phase of her life. But you were wrong. People never change, that was what you said to yourself as you were absentmindedly nodding to whatever she was saying now.

“Listen, Y/N, do you mind if I leave you alone here for a moment? There’s a guy over there that has been eyeing me for a while now and, I don’t know, I have this feeling I should go over there.” That was her usual excuse. I have this feeling. As if sexual craving could be described as an actual feeling. But you didn’t care, you actually wouldn’t mind to spend a few minutes by yourself. So, you just told her to go. And she did. Not a single “are you sure you don’t mind” nor an “it will be quick, I promise”. She simply picked all her stuff up and left.

And then you were alone.

You thought about leaving a couple of times, but you thought it would be rude because what would happen if she came back and you weren’t there?

So, you just remained seated there, in the small booth, waiting. And waiting. You looked around, studying the crowd, and hoping that she would just come back, or at least text you to let you know her intentions for the rest of the night. But that message never came. And you waited there, alone.

Until, after almost twenty minutes, a random man approached you. He had to have been at least 15 years older than you. He was dressed all fancy, a black blazer and jeans, a white shirt with the first couple of buttons left open to show a few sparse grey hairs on his chest, as if that was something that all women found sexy; I mean, who did he think he was? Roy Kent? He walked over to your table and leaned on it to get closer to you. “Is this seat taken?”

The first thing that hit you was the almost nauseating amount of perfume and aftershave, closely followed by the stench of cigarette and alcohol as soon as he opened his mouth. “I’m waiting for a friend.” You replied, hoping that would be enough to send him away.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sitting here alone for quite some time now.” He smiled, and you wanted to throw up. “And I don’t she’s coming back. She and that boy looked very intimate if you know what I mean.”

That comment sent shivers down your spine. How long had he been looking at you? “I’m waiting for another friend of ours.” You said, hoping that he would buy it.

He moved closer to you. “Let me wait with you. I wouldn’t want to leave such a pretty girl out here on her own.”

You hated when people called you a girl. You were a grown woman, for god’s sake! But you hated it even more when that comment came from creepy old men that were nonchalantly flirting with you.

“They should be here any minute now.” You replied quickly. “And I actually prefer to sit alone.”

“Nonsense! Let me keep you company!” He smirked, sliding even closer to you. You were on the verge of tears, feeling this awful sensation in your stomach. You felt like you were going to throw up, and you weren’t sure whether it was because of his terrible taste in perfumes, the horrible stench of smoke, or just his presence in general. You wanted to just get up and get away, but it was as if your legs had forgotten how to move. You tried to insist, telling him that you were going to meet them outside, but he wouldn’t let you go. He started moving his hand, and you knew that, if you didn’t move, he would put it on your thigh. But, with tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, your body completely froze.

“Y/N!” A voice called your name. You turned around to look at the source. Your vision was hazy from the tears, and the strobe lights weren’t exactly helping you in that moment. “I’m sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find a spot to park me car.” He walked over to your table and waited for you to do or say something to sit next to you.

“You’re Jamie fucking Tartt!” The old man exclaimed. “Fuck, man. You’re great! My mates and I don’t really like Richmond, but you’re the best player in the team. You and that Oby- Obe-, you know, the Nigerian guy.”

“Yeah, cheers, man.” Jamie replied, taking a seat next to you. “Now, would you mind leaving us alone?”

“Is she your date?” The man asked, and you could tell that he was confused because why would a star like Jamie Tartt go out with a normal girl like you?

“Do you have a problem?”

“No, no!” The old man finally stood up from the table. “You enjoy her.” He smirked and gave him a wink, before looking at you up and down for the last time and eventually leave.

You finally could feel your body relax again when your attention was caught by Jamie talking. “What a fucking creep.” He shook his head, before finally looking at you. “Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

You shook your head. “I think you got here just in time.” You smiled at him, almost feeling guilty for probably having ruined his night.

“Were you here alone?”

“Well, not really. I was here with a friend but she left with a guy.” You stopped, quickly looking around. “But I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Some kind of friend.” He sighed, still looking at you, as if he were studying you, trying to understand if everything was truly okay, trying to assess the situation. “Do you want to leave?”

“What?”

“I said, do you want to go out, maybe grab a bite?” He raised his voice, thinking that you might have not heard him over the loud music.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. You can go back to your evening if you want. I’m fine, I swear.”

“I was here on me own.”

“You go to clubs alone?”

“Well, yeah.” He looked at you for a moment. “Listen, really, I don’t have anything to do here. And in any case, I would much rather spend time with you. So, if you want to leave and do something actually funny instead of waiting for some shitty friend to hopefully come back, then count me in.”

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Did you go with him?” Keeley asked, looking at you as if she was watching the latest episode of a soap opera, completely hooked up to the story.

“We spent the entire night together.” You said shyly.

“Doing what?” You had never seen Rebecca so shocked and interested in a story in a while.

“We ate in a chicken shop; we stayed there talking for a while and then we took a walk.”

“How long did you stay out for?”

You could feel both Keeley’s and Rebecca’s eyes on you, demanding an answer, wanting to know more, to know everything. “Well, we took the sunrise as our cue to go home.”

“Babes! You’re telling me that you stayed up all night talking with Jamie?” Keeley squealed, jumping on her knees. “Like, you found topics to talk about for, what, 7? 8 hours?”

“It wasn’t that difficult. I didn’t even have to force it.”

“What did you talk about?” Asked Rebecca. And all of a sudden, the almost 50-year-old and 30-year-old women in front of you turned back into their high school personas and you almost wanted to laugh at how adorably funny that scene was.

“Well, a bit of everything, you know. Our lives, where we grew up, our favourite things, favourite food, favourite movie, favourite city, the books that have impacted us the most, the cities that we dream of visiting one day. Normal stuff.”

Keeley looked at you, in complete shock. “You talked about books. With Jamie. How?”

“He said that he had noticed I like to read and asked me about my favourite book. I told him and then asked him the same thing. And he told me.” You replied, as if that was obvious. But it was only then that you remember that Keeley had been with Jamie in the past and, if she was that shocked, it must have meant that, when they were together, he didn’t read. Possibly at all.

“Babes, remember when I told you he had changed since I had broken up with him, right? Well, that’s an understatement. When we were together, it was fun, but we didn’t really talk about that kind of stuff. He was much more superficial. I don’t think he never really asked me what my favourite food was. And the fact that he was taking an interest in all of those things about you, well, it definitely means something. I wouldn’t take that for granted.” Hearing Keeley, someone you trusted with all of your heart, someone you loved and looked up to, someone that truly knew who you were talking about, saying all of those things, made you feel things. You didn’t know what those things meant, but they were things you hadn’t felt in a long time. And for the first time in days, you were finally accepting the idea of having feelings for Jamie Tartt.

After a few moments of silence, Rebecca asked you “Was that the only time you spent time together?”

“Well, no. I mean, we’ve been talking basically every single day. He sends me a good morning text almost every day, and we talk a lot at night. Sometimes he calls me.”

“Okay, okay. That’s good.” Rebecca said, almost as if she was an investigator gather all the evidence. “But you didn’t answer my question: did you go out another time?”

You immediately felt heat rising to your cheeks. “We didn’t really go out.” You looked at the two women in silence for a moment. “Last night he… ehm… he showed up to my place.”

“What?” They both almost screamed at the same time.

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You had just finished putting on your pyjamas after a long warm shower. You still had to decide what you wanted to eat, something you always dreaded because, as much as you loved cooking, you hated preparing food for one. You started making your way down the stairs and to the kitchen when your doorbell rang. You weren’t really expecting anyone, so the sound left you confused. You looked through the peephole before even saying anything, so that if it was someone you didn’t know, you could jut pretend you weren’t at home. But, when you looked through it, you were surprised to see Jamie standing right outside of your door.

You immediately took a look at yourself in the mirror right beside the door, trying to make yourself look at least presentable, before finally opening the door. When Jamie’s entire figure came into view, you noticed the food boxes in his hands. “Jamie?”

“Hi, Y/N! Ehm, I’m sorry to barge in on you like this but… ehm… I thought we could spend some time together, you know?” Was Jamie blushing?

You stood there, a soft smile on your lips, looking at the man in front of you. “Sure.” You giggled, moving to open the door even more, as a way to let him in.

“I’m sorry, I should have texted or called. That was stupid. If you’re busy I can just-”

You cut him off. “Jamie. I’m not busy. You can come in. I just wasn’t expecting visitors, so the house is, well, it’s not tidy.” You take a step forward to take some of the boxes off of him. “What’s with all of this food? Did you rob a supermarket?” You laughed, nodding your head as a sign for him to follow you, before making your way to the kitchen.

“No!” He laughed, and suddenly you felt this weird sensation in your stomach. “I didn’t know what you were craving and so I got everything that you told me you liked.” He said, while putting the boxes on the counter. “I got us a pizza to share, because you said you’re not a huge fan, but that you like to eat it while watching movies. I also got us kebabs because they’re always good, and sushi because why not. Oh, and I also got us those spicy Korean rice thingies that you said you love so much. What’s their name? Tee- To-”

You laughed as he struggled to say the word. “Tteokbokki.”

“Yeah, those.” He smiled, putting his hands on his sides.

“Just a question.” You walked around the kitchen gathering cutlery and plates to eat. “How many people did you think were going to be here? There’s enough food to feed an army.”

He looked at you and then the food, before bursting out laughing. “I told you! I didn’t know what you were craving. And I wanted to do something nice for you, but I overdid it.”

You put the plates on the counter and turned to look at him. “It’s okay, I appreciate it anyways.” You smiled. “But why would you wanted to do this for me? It’s not my birthday or anything.”

“I just… I had a very good time with you the other night.” Was Jamie blushing? Again? “And I was really in the mood to watch a good movie. So, who better than you to watch it with.”

You smiled, trying to hide the blushing coming onto your cheeks as well by turning your attention to the food on the counter. “Did you have a movie in mind?” You asked, while putting the different foods on the plates.

“You said that you really like Dead Poets Society, right? And that you think everyone should watch it at least once in their lifetime, right? So, I thought, since I’ve never seen it, we could, I don’t know, watch it together. If you want to, obviously.” He waited for you to plate the food to pick a couple of plates up and follow you into the living room.

“That actually sounds like a perfect plan, Mr Tartt.” You smiled, while taking a seat on the couch, waiting for him to join you.

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Fucking hell, that’s adorable!” Keeley exclaimed. “He never did that for me! When he showed up uninvited, it was usually because he wanted to have sex.”

“Well, this is good!” Rebecca joined in. “He has changed. He listened to what you told him, he remembered your favourite food and your favourite movie. And before you say something like ‘but that’s not a big dead!’, yes it fucking is. It is a huge deal. Men aren’t always reliable. Rupert never was, at least. I vividly remember telling him my favourite drink at least a dozen times. And every single time he would get me something completely different. At the beginning I was too afraid to say anything, so I just drank it. But then I started to speak up. And still, he didn’t remember.”

“Yeah, okay, but him remembering that I like pizza only when watching movie doesn’t mean he feels anything for me.” You said, throwing your head back.

“I’m sorry, babes, didn’t you say that he told you that he wanted to spend time with you?” Keeley asked. “You said it yourself: he came to your place with all the food you had told him you liked and suggested to watch your favourite movie together because he had had a good time with you and wanted to do that again.”

“He decided to spend time with you rather than going out with other people or spend the night texting some random girl on dating apps.” Added Rebecca. “He chose to be with you.”

“I suppose you’re right.” You sighed. “I still don’t think he has feelings for me, though.”

“Whatever, babes.” Keeley took a sip out of her mug, before refocusing on you. “What happened next? Did you watch the movie?”

“Yes, we did.” You smiled at the memory. “He got emotional at the end. I’m not saying that he cried, but he definitely had glossy eyes by the time of the ‘O Captain, my Captain’ scene.”

“Which means he feels comfortable enough to show his emotions in front of you.” Rebecca noted. “And what happened next? Did he leave or did you spend another night talking?” She smirked, trying to make fun of you in a friendly way, almost mom-like.

“Well, he stayed a while longer.” You looked at the two women. “We talked a little about the movie, he told me what he thought of it, we discussed a little about why I thought it is a very important and still relevant movie, and he agreed with me. At first, I have to be honest, I thought he was just agreeing with me to not make me feel bad. But then he added to my argument and I stood corrected. He had truly understood the point of the movie and of my thoughts. For the first time in, gosh, I don’t even know how long, I felt seen, listened and understood by someone that wasn’t you two or Sam.”

Keeley brought a hand to her chest. “I have conflicted feelings because, by the way you’re talking, I want to tell you to just run out of here and into this man’s arms; but at the same time, every now and then, I remember you’re talking about Jamie, and it feels so weird because he’s so different from what I remember him to be like.” She explained. “Which is good, but kind of unsettling.”

Rebecca nodded along with what Keeley said, before eventually turning once again to face you. “What happened after you talked?”

“We decided to watch Modern Family, you know, to cheer ourselves up after the movie.”

“And?” Asked in unison the two women.

“And nothing.”

“I call bullshit.” Said Rebecca.

“Agreed.” Added Keeley. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Nothing!”

“That’s not true!” They once again spoke in unison, which was starting to become quite weird.

“Nothing happened. We just… fell asleep.” You almost murmured those last words, almost too scared to say it out loud in front of them.

“I’m sorry, what?” Asked Rebecca, who had obviously heard and just wanted you to say it again out loud.

“We fell asleep!” You shouted. And you were so glad that Rebecca’s office was so high up and far from others. “As we were watching the show, he started leaning into me. At first, he laid his head on my shoulder, and then, somehow, we ended up with his head in my lap and my hands in his hair.” You could feel your cheeks burning up.

The two women shared a quick look, before turning back to you, huge smiles on their faces. “When did he fall asleep?” Asked Keeley.

“I don’t know.” You looked down at your own hands. “I fell asleep as well. I don’t know how or when, but when I woke up, it was like 3 in the morning, and we were lying on the couch. He had his head on my stomach and an arm draped over my waists.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.” You were fidgeting with your bracelet, too embarrassed to look up and meet your friends’ eyes. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want him to go away.” For some reason your eyes started filling up with tears.

“Hey, babes. It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not!” You almost shouted, tears finally falling down your face. “It’s not fucking okay. I hate feeling like this.”

“Love, hey, just… wait a second. Take a deep breath.” Rebecca moved closer and wrapped her arms around you. “Why do you hate it?”

“I don’t know. I’m feeling all these things for someone that doesn’t even like me back.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N.” Keeley moved closer as well, taking your hand in hers and leaning her head against yours. “I mean, you’re the coolest person I know, you’re fucking smart and interesting, and you’re fit as fuck. I think most of the team has at least a tiny crush on you.” She smiled, hoping to cheer you up. But that didn’t work.

“Listen, love.” Rebecca squeezed you, before pulling away slightly. “As that song says, the heart wants what it wants. I know feeling like this is terrible, but there’s only one thing that you can really do, and that’s talking to him.”

“But what if he says that he was just being a good friend? What if I misread every single thing he has done and said to me up until now?”

“And what if you haven’t?” Keeley asked. “Finding you at that club was completely random, pure luck. But he then chose to spend the entire night with you. Just like he chose to send you a good morning text every single day, and he chose to come and spend the evening with you. Also, I’m almost 100% sure that he woke up as well during the night, but didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to go, just like you didn’t want him to leave.” Keeley brushed a rogue strand of hair out of your face. “I know it’s hard, but you have to act.”

“But I’m scared.”

“Which means that you care.” Rebecca smiled. “You care about him and about your relationship.”

You looked at the two women in silence for a few moments. You wanted to cry, and you wanted to scream. You wanted to run out of there and straight to Jamie. You wanted to hug Keeley and Rebecca ad tell them how much you loved them. But all you could do in that moment was smile and be glad for the wonderful friends you had. “So, I should go and talk to him?”

“Yes.” Keeley smiled.

“And you should do it right now.” Said Rebecca, standing up from the couch. “The team is going back inside, which could be a good moment for you to swoop in and talk with Jamie.” She seamlessly slipped back in her high heels and fixed her blouse. “And if anyone has anything to say about it, they will have to come to me. I’m the owner of this club, after all.” She winked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The team had just made their way to the changing room, ready to hear Roy giving them “pointers”, or rather making sure they knew every little thing they had done wrong. But Jamie didn’t really care about that. Jamie knew that he had played like shit, but he couldn’t help it. His head was someplace else.

“Oi, Tartt!” Roy’s voice echoed in the room, and everyone’s head turned to look at the man sitting in front of his changing station. “What the fuck were you thinking, uh? You fucked all the assists. The team was constantly looking for you, and you were nowhere to be found!”

Jamie’s eyes remained low on the ground. “’m sorry, coach.” His voice was soft. “I’ll do better next time.”

His teammates couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Somehow, in the span of 24 hours, Jamie had lost all of his confidence. They looked at him and almost couldn’t recognise him. And the worst past was that no one really knew what to do with him, how to talk to him, how to cheer him up. Because that’s the thing with teams: you’re a family, you’re all extremely close, but you’re still a bunch of men that don’t know how to handle emotions and how to talk about their feelings. So, they just bottle everything up and hope that, sooner or later, it will just go away.

But right now, looking at Jamie, Sam felt compelled by something to just stand up and walk over to him, to say something. “Is everything all right?”

Sam’s voice startled Jamie, who was so deep in his thoughts he had almost forgotten he was at the clubhouse. “Uh?” Jamie looked up and was met by Sam’s concerned look. “No, yeah, everything is fine.”

“It don’t look like it, bruv.” Isaac joined in the conversation.

Sam took a seat next to Jamie. “You don’t have to talk to us about whatever is on your mind. We’re not going to force you. Just know that we’re here for you.”

“Sì, muchacho. We’re a familia.” Dani and Colin walked over as well, almost forming a barrier between him and the rest of the room, creating a safe space for him.

No one said anything for a few moments, most of them unsure of how to act, of what to say to him. They wanted to ask him, to help him, but they had no idea how. So, they all remained quiet, until Jamie broke the silence. “I feel so stupid.” Jamie’s voice was low. “I… I feel like a middle schooler.”

“What do you mean?” Colin asked.

Sam immediately turned to look at Jamie. “Did something happen with your dad?” And Jamie could feel the worry in Sam’s voice.

“No, no, I haven’t talked with me dad since Wembley.” He shook his head, rubbing his face. “No, I… You’re going to laugh…” He looked up, but all he saw was seriously interested faces, the faces of friends that were genuinely concerned for him. “I have a crush…” He almost whispered, but it was still loud enough for them to hear. They all shared a quick look amongst themselves, before turning to look again at the man sitting before them. “I feel so stupid because, usually, I have all this confidence with women, right? I’m so sure about me self that I don’t worry about the possibility of a rejection. It doesn’t affect me, usually…”

Sam nodded along with everything that Jamie said, as if he could relate to every little detail. “But with this woman in particular, you’re scared.”

Isaac asked the question that everyone wanted to ask. “Who is this woman?”

Jamie looked up from the ground, meeting everyone’s eyes. He could tell that his friends wanted to help him, but something was stopping him, almost too afraid to admit he had feelings for her, too scared that they would laugh in his face and say that she deserved better than him.

“Muchacho, you’re a beautiful man, and every woman would be lucky to be with you.” Dani always had this way of talking that could give confidence even to the shiest and most introverted person in the world.

“No, you don’t understand. This woman is different from the others.” He sighed. “She’s not a top model or an aspiring actress that wants to be with me because I’m famous. She’s… she’s different.” Jamie started fidgeting with the ends of his shoelaces. “And I’m different. I’m not the same person I was two years ago, I know that. And I think that’s why I’m so scared. Like, what if she doesn’t like me? What if she still thinks I’m a prick? Uh?”

“Listen, boyo. You said it yourself; you have changed. And if this woman doesn’t like your new you, then too bad for her.” Colin took a seat next to Jamie, opposite to Sam. “But if you truly like her, you should tell her. Don’t let your fear get in the way of your happiness, okay?”

“Yeah, like Selena Gomez said in her song, the heart wants what it wants.” Smiled Dani.

Jamie looked at those people around him, and for a moment he felt all the guilt for how he had treated them two years before rise to the top. Did they forget everything he had done to them? Did they forget how bad he had made them feel? He had treated them so poorly, and yet, now they were there, next to him, showing care and interest in how he was feeling. “Thank you, boys.” He smiled softly.

“You know we’re here.” Sam smiled, giving him a small push with the shoulder. “We’re family.”

“Yeah, bruv.” Isaac added. “But are you going to tell us who this woman is or not?”

However, their conversation was cut short by the door to the changing room opening, and Y/N walking in, looking around, clearly searching for someone. And that was when the boys realised Jamie didn’t need to tell them anything, because as soon as he saw her, he stood up. He fixed his hair and immediately took a step forward. None of them said anything. They just remained quiet and watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes.

“Jamie.” You smile once you finally met his eyes.

“Y/N” He replied, softly, taking another step towards her.

“Do you… do you think we could talk for a moment? Alone?” She said quietly, but the silence in the room made it extremely complicated for her not to be heard by everyone.

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

You smiled, turning around to exit the changing room. Jamie took a deep breath, turning quickly to look at the four guys standing a few steps away from him. He nodded to them, and they nodded to him in return, as a way to say ‘you got this’ or ‘go get her’. So, he took one more deep breath, and followed her outside.

Once he stepped into the corridor, he noticed Keeley and Rebecca standing in the middle of it, looking at the two of them. Keeley smiled, which gave Jamie a boost of confidence, Whereas Rebecca was looking at him in such an intimidating way that immediately sent shivers running down his spine. He knew they were there for you, and he knew how much they cared for you, so it wasn’t difficult for him to understand what Rebecca’s gaze meant: ‘break her heart and I’ll break you’.

He greeted the two women with a quick nod, before realising you were still walking down the corridor. “Wait up, Y/N!” He said, jogging after you. “Where are we going?”

“Boot room. It’s the quietest place in here.” You looked at him, noticing his expression, as if he wanted to say something. “I already asked Will to leave us alone in there.” You replied, quickly grabbing him by his hand and pulling him through the doorway.

“You always think about everything.” He chuckled, getting into the room. He never really understood when or how that room had become like a sort of therapy room for the team, where most of them went when they needed to get something off of their chest or just be alone, but couldn’t leave the clubhouse. That place stank like hell. But he was glad nonetheless for the privacy. “You had your supporters with you as well, uh?” He smiled.

“Yeah.” You laughed under your breath. “They are actually the ones that forced me to come and talk to you.”

“Should I be scared, then?”

“No! No.” You shake your head. “I don’t think so.” You started pacing around the room, trying to give order to all the things you had in your head at the moment.

“Is everything alright?” Jamie looked at you, slightly worried.

You looked at him, taking a deep breath. “Yes.” You nodded. “Just give me a moment because I haven’t really thought about what I want to say to you. Or rather, how I want to say it to you.”

Jamie nodded, taking a step towards you and catching your hand before you stepped away again. “Do you mind if I go first, then?”

You looked at him, surprise painted all over your face. You didn’t know what to say, so you simply nodded, waiting for him to talk.

“Okay, so, first of all, I wanted to tell you that last night was… well, I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I really wish we could do it more often.” He smiled, squeezing your hand as a way to catch your attention. “And then to the difficult part... Okay. The boys told me to just be me self. But it’s difficult, you know? Because, like, I am always me self, but when I’m with you, I’m different from how I am with the others. Not in the sense that I’m not truly me self, but in the sense that, when I’m with you, I’m me self even more than usual.” He stopped, looking down. “Sorry, I didn’t really have anything prepared either.” He chuckles.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Go on, you’re doing great.” You said, trying to look at him in the eyes.

“What I’m trying to say is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m truly me self. Like I’m the most authentic version of me. And I like it. I want to be like that always. But I feel like I can only be like that when I’m with you.” He looks at you. “I lied before. I don’t want to be with you more often.” You stopped and looked at him completely confused. “I want to be with you as much as I can. I want to be with you every fucking day.” You giggled, feeling the blood rushing up your neck and to your cheeks. “I want to make lunch for you. Well, no, okay. I want to learn how to make lunch for you. I want to take you out to dinner. And I also want to order in and watch a movie on a couch like we did last night. I want you to play with me hair because, fuck, that’s the most relaxing shit ever.” You bit your bottom lip, trying to contain all the happiness that you were feeling in that moment. “I want to go out with our friends and be able to show you off. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street.”

“Jamie…”

“Wait a second.” He interrupted you, pulling you even closer. “I want you to wear my jersey at matches. And to cheer for me. And I want to kiss you whenever we win a match. In front of everyone. I want to go out and celebrate with the team, and while we��re there, I want to hold you close while we talk with them, and then be able to just walk home together and celebrate just the two of us. And I don’t mean have sex. I mean, that would be fun, but I meant like having a party just the two of us. Drinking, and dancing and laughing. Or we don’t have to go home, and we can just walk around town all night, like we did that time.” He became all serious all of a sudden. “I want to be able to protect you from creepy old men. Actually, no. That wouldn’t be necessary because you would never need to go out by yourself ever again.”

“Jamie, I…”

“Wait, I’m not done.” He interrupted you once more. “I want to be able to sleep over at your place and you over at mine. I want us to buy toothbrushes to leave at the other’s house. I want to wake up next to you like we did today, but I want that every single day. I want to have me clothes at your place and your clothes at mine. I want to drive Roy mad by telling him last minute that I’m sleeping over at your place, so he has to come all the way there. And after I’m done training with him, I want to stop at a cafe as I get back home and I want to buy your favourite latte, so that you can wake up to the smell of warm coffee every day.”

“Jamie!” You shouted, trying to stop him from talking.

“What?”

“Just-” Your hands found their way to the back of his head, as your eyes remained fixed on his. “Just kiss me, will you?” You laughed, before pulling him down towards you.

When your lips finally crashed against one another, you could feel the tension you had been holding in your stomach finally releasing. You pushed yourself on your tiptoes, as Jamie’s hands slowly and softly found their resting place on the small of your back, helping you up, and pulling you closer to his chest. Your hands played with his hair, and in that moment, you were sure he could feel your heart beating like crazy in your chest.

“So…” He whisper while pulling slightly away, only to press his forehead against yours. “Did you want to say something?”

You kept your eyes closed, too afraid to open them and realise that it was only just a dream. “I think you said everything.” You chuckled, trying to get some air back in your lungs.

“Well, if you wanted to say something…”

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

A/N: sorry, this was so long! so, if you read it all the way through, then thank you! please, feel free to leave me any kind of feedback and don't forget to send me suggestions or requests if you have them! thank you again! ily <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fic #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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sourcherryandsprinkles · 1 year

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Nothing ever go according to plan | JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: The plan to get the cross back turn sour and JJ end up putting his life on the line

Word count: 1k

Request: can I request a JJ Maybank fic with numbers 4 and 6 from the obx print list please! thank you sm <3 ‘’Can you stop being so fucking reckless? I’m tired of being scared of losing you.’’ + ‘’Don’t push me away.’’

Can you write the pursuit/accident from episode 5 but instead of Kie on the bike with JJ, it’s reader and they are a couple

Note: That scene had me on the edge of my seat!!

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

Getting caught stealing the cross into Topper’s truck was not part of the plan, but you had to roll with it. When does anything go according to plan anyway?

You saw a flash of red and blue lights, then heard the siren. Shit.

You quickly got behind JJ on his motorcycle, holding onto him tightly as he revved the engine and took off. A mix of siren wailing and tires screeching filled your ears, making the blood pump faster in your veins and your anxiety increase. Being part of the pursuit was less fun than watching it happen on TV.

‘’J…’’ you warned worriedly, looking over your shoulder and seeing the police car getting closer and closer.

‘’I know, I know,’’ he said, his own nerves translating in his voice.

He slid into the other lane and sped again, trying to catch up with Topper. Once he did, he told him to keep going straight and that he had a plan.

‘’Get ready to jump.’’

‘’What?!’’ you exclaimed, not on board with that plan. You’ve seen Footloose, it looked dangerous. ‘’Have you lost your mind? I’m not leaving you.’’ You clung to him, fingers gripping his shirt.

‘’Get in Top’s truck,’’ JJ repeated with more bite in his words.

Your safety was important to him and he couldn’t have you on his motorcycle if he wanted to continue with his plan.

Reluctantly, you did as told and jumped onto the box holding the cross, Pope’s hand holding yours tight so you wouldn’t fall during the process. He helped you get inside the truck, finally safe.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Sarah asked from the front seat.

You nodded, but everyone’s attention shifted when you heard a screech of tires right behind and saw that JJ had stopped and turned his bike around to distract the cops. Was that his plan? Getting the cops to go after him instead of the truck with the cross?

‘’Holy shit!’’ Cleo said, watching from the back window. ‘’I think he threw something at the cops.’’

The police car turned around and fell right into JJ’s plan. While distracting the cops was a good idea, he just committed a criminal offense.

Sarah turned to Topper. ‘’Topper, turn around!’’

He shook his head stubbornly. He agreed to help her, but he wasn’t going to go to prison for her friends — Pogues. ‘’Absolutely not.’’

‘’We’re not leaving him. He’s gonna get arrested,’’ you said, protecting your boyfriend at your turn.

With some more insisting from Sarah, she finally got Topper to turn around. You and Pope shared a relieved glance. The caution to get JJ out would be very salty and none of you could afford it.

The next minutes were intense. Pope was yelling directions at Topper while you were silently panicking in the backseat. The amount of stress this boy always put you through was crazy.

‘’No way, he's up on the overpass. What is he do—’’

Sarah didn’t get to finish her sentence. Up on the overpass, you saw JJ losing control of the motorcycle and crashing through the barrier and railing and falling down the overpass. The car echoed with gasps, watching the accident unfold.

Topper hit the brakes and you all stumbled out of the truck to check on JJ.

The motorcycle broke into pieces at the impact. There were parts here and there on the road, but no sign of JJ.

‘’JJ…’’ Your eyes were frantically searching for the blond as your hands were beginning to shake. ‘’JJ! Where is he?’’ You searched the surroundings, but he wasn’t there. ‘’JJ!’’ Your voice was desperate and panicked, mixing with the other’s.

‘’Maybe he’s up on the bridge,’’ Pope suggested, staying optimistic.

You crumbled to the ground as tears blurred your vision and a sob escaped your lips, thinking the worst. Cleo watched you with sadness and kept looking for JJ for you. She didn’t want that traumatic scene to be your last memory of him. He had to be alive.

‘’I wish I could say I did this on purpose, but that was the gnarliest powerslide I've ever done,’’ a familiar voice said from behind you.

Everyone whipped their heads around, seeing JJ standing and dusting off his hat.

‘’You’re alive!’’ Pope yelled, tackling his friend into a hug.

JJ groaned in pain, his whole body aching from the fall. ‘’Yeah, I’m surprised too.’’

Everyone went and hugged him, sharing a few words. Everyone except you. You were still on the ground among the debris, tears running down your face. He was there before your eyes, alive and well, but your state of shock held you frozen.

Noticing you were still on the ground, Sarah helped you up and called JJ, tearing his attention away from his conversation with Pope and Cleo.

Guilt filled his guts when he saw you and he freed himself from his friends to come over. ‘’I’m gonna go check on my girl.’’

If this would’ve been a movie, it would’ve been a perfect moment to put in slow-motion, but your life, although chaotic and implausible sometimes, was not a Hollywood production.

Another tear fell when you felt JJ’s embrace enveloping you. This time, it was a tear of relief. ‘’You’re okay,’’ you stated, your voice muffled by his chest.

‘’A little sore, but—’’

You pulled back and hit his chest sharply. ‘’Can you stop being so fucking reckless? I’m tired of being scared of losing you.’’

He hissed, but accepted the hit. He deserved it. From your perspective, the accident must not have been easy to watch. If he had been more careful, he would not have lost control of the motorcycle and fallen off the overpass.

JJ gently wiped your tears from your face, looking at you with soft guilty eyes. ‘’I’m sorry. I just wanted to help, I didn’t think my plan would turn to shit.’’ He tried to hug you again, but you didn’t let him. JJ sighed. ‘’Don’t do that. Don’t push me away.’’ He went again, but this time you wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing away the part of you that was mad at him.

—

OBX taglist: @moralina @eudximoniakr @toylewestinnyc @rottenstyx @sweeterheartxamerica @jordierama @viridwityy @izzy-laufeyson @kenzi-woycehoski @lilaconner @Katsukis1Wife @hawkegfs @mommyruuetrue @acornacreacure @snownjune @nmedina8611 @slvtherinseeker

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron

#jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank outer banks #jj maybank fanfic #jj outer banks #outer banks #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #rudy pankow

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mermaidgirl30 · 1 month

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✨Take Me to Wonderland✨

A/N: Thank you so much @5oh5 for being my beta, I so appreciate it 🩷 This fic took over my mind last week and I just had to write it out. This one was super self-indulgent for me. I’ve always loved Alice in Wonderland and thought I could definitely pull Joel into the mix. I hope you enjoy going to Wonderland with Joel 🥹

Summary: You find yourself in Wonderland, but you think you’ve been here before. And the handsome stranger, Joel Miller, is someone that definitely seems familiar.

Pairing: Joel x fem! reader

Word Count: 14.7k

Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)

Tags: Soft Joel, soft dom! Joel, no outbreak, Alice in Wonderland AU, smut, creampie, unprotected p in v, oral receiving (fem), reader finds Wonderland, lots of fluff

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

The bright lights from the lavish dinner party hall give you a blaring headache. This is the third one this week you’ve had to attend. It’s just the same routine. Another dinner, more socializing you don’t want to be a part of, putting on fake smiles to impress some higher up rich snobs just so you can make a good impression for your company.

You’re exhausted, so brutally tired that you could probably crawl up on one of the window sills and take a much needed cat nap with the way your body is lagging in your sparkly wedges. You drag your feet across the polished wooden floor and press your hands down firmly against your short sky blue dress, the fabric swishing around your soft thighs as you smooth the skirt out.

The smell of expensive wine and top brand steak lace through the air, the sound of soft classical music buzzing through your ears as you casually slide by important business men and women intermingling on the middle of the dance floor.

You pick up a glass of champagne and let the harsh taste slide down your parched throat, letting the liquid bubble inside you as you set it back down against the silky white table cloth. You want to go home, leave this fancy feast where talk of money and stocks fly through the air. If only there was some sort of distraction that could take you away from it all.

Suddenly, you see fast movements from the corner of your right eye. You shoot your head that direction and see what looks to be a white cotton tail jump through the sea of Coach shoes and fancy tailored suits. You move your head to see around a woman’s long silky coat and see flurries of hopping movements, the color of snow dancing through the crowd.

You take a few steps forward to see just what it is, your curiosity getting the best of you. You take one more step and stop the moment you see just what it is. A small white rabbit sits in the middle of the crowd. It has long white ears, probably as smooth as a feather, and big blue eyes that seem to look inside your soul. It holds up a golden watch and points straight at the hour hand and turns back around, running toward the long, empty hall outside of the ballroom.

A white rabbit? Did no one else see that? Are you just that tired that you’re hallucinating?

You look around to all the people in the crowd, but no one seems to notice the white rabbit that just leapt its way through the ballroom, and no one seems to notice your wide-eyed gaze. You turn to the brown wooden door and see the white rabbit point once more to its shiny watch, nodding its head as it runs outside of the room and disappears.

You take a step forward in the direction the rabbit went, but then stop a moment. Are you really going to chase after something that has to be an illusion? You look back to the sea of faces you don’t even know, watching as their fake laughter and imposter stances make you sick. You take one more look to the open door and nod. Hell yes you’re going to chase after a white rabbit.

You sprint to the door, careful not to trip over your high wedges as you chase after the rabbit. You see it at the end of the hall waiting for you, fluffy ears standing high as it holds the ticking watch in its hands as the shine of the watch reflects off the clear glass windows. It runs around the corner, not waiting for you as it keeps going. A clear game of tag as the rabbit seems amused at your clear exhaustion of trying to catch it.

“Wait!” you shout down the echoing halls, hoping the rabbit will hear you, but when you turn it’s disappearing yet again. This time, going through a small, dark hole in the wall as it drops the grand watch to the marble floor, not stopping to pick it up.

“Wait, you forgot this!” you shout frantically as you run over and bend down, picking up the watch as your fingers run idly over the golden watch. The watch strikes 7:30pm as its golden second hand spins in a cycle, the minutes ticking by as you hear the faint noise of the watch.

Tick, tick, tick. As the seconds pass by, the ticking seems to stir something in you as you look over to the dark hole in the wall, just big enough to crawl through. You could squeeze in, but should you? You don’t know what’s past the darkness of that wall.

You look back down the long hallway and hear the vacant laughs and chimes of silverware floating down the hall. You have a choice. You either go back in that loud, rambling room of rich pricks or you can go explore the darkness of the hole the white rabbit went through.

You only have one choice. Go chase a fantasy or walk back into a room of people you don’t care about. Your head turns quickly back toward the dark hole, and you decide then.

You choose the fantasy.

You hold tight to the golden watch and sink to your knees as you leave the crowded party down the hall and enter into a quiet, dark tunnel- like hole. The walls are hollow, damp corners filling your vision until you can see nothing but pitch black. You keep on pushing your way through, grunting with all your might as you squeeze through the narrowing walls.

The floor turns from marble flooring to thick, rich grass as you crawl and crawl and crawl until suddenly the opening of the room is large, towering above you. Deep green grass surrounds you, a lofty ceiling made of moss hangs freely from the darkness, and then you see a bright light.

You shift your way through the plushy grass and look through a little keyhole as warm light bursts through. You place your hands on the intricate pink doorway and look through the tiny hole. There, in the middle of a cobblestone path, stands the rabbit. It looks back at you, nodding its head as if to say “Come on now, you’re late.”

You push on the heavy door, putting every ounce of strength into your arms as you can until you hear a locking sound click into place. You shove once more and then you’re falling forward as the doorway jars open.

You land with a thud on the concrete steps and take a minute to smooth out your dress as you stand up. Once you do, you watch the white rabbit speed off ahead of you, daring you to chase after it. You’re awfully sick of playing this game of tag, but you run after it into a sea of green as you enter into a maze of thick bushes.

The rabbit jumps through the green maze, zipping around tight corners as you huff to try to keep up. You nearly run straight into a tall, mangy bush as you slide amongst the slippery pebbled path.

“Wait!” you call out. “You’re going too fast, please!”

Just as the rabbit disappears around another corner and you follow after it, you wind up in a massive open area. You stop and gasp as you take in the tall, colorful wildflowers, the rush of the lilac scented breeze, the mist of a flowing river as a rushing waterfall tumbles into the clear, blue water.

What is this place?

The rabbit hops up to you and grabs the golden watch from your hand, stealing it back as its furry paw flexes around it.

“You’re late.” The voice comes out deep, the sound of a male’s voice as he hops off into a thick, green forest. Before he disappears completely, he sticks his furry ears out behind a tree and curls a paw his way. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come on! He’s waiting,” he calls as he disappears behind a sea of thick trees.

He’s waiting? Who is waiting? And did that rabbit just talk? You must be losing your mind.

You shake your head clear as you walk past a patch of colorful wildflowers. Lilies, tulips, and flowers you don’t know the names of all sprawl out in a thick patch of colors. Vibrant purples, blues, pinks, greens, yellows, and reds collide together in a row of lavish intricacy.

As you look across the patch of lush green grass you see white roses that drip red, mixing the colors together as if blood stains the pure white roses. You find it kind of odd to have a field of untouched, beautiful wildflowers and then a row of rose bushes that seem to be tainted by paint.

“Odd. This place is so odd,” you murmur as you move along the straight trail that will lead you to the trees where the rabbit disappeared. “Silly rabbit, what am I possibly late for? Who was he talking about when he said he’s waiting? Who is he?”

The questions swirl through your head as you pass through the flower field. You hear whispers, quiet and meek as they dance through the large, colorful field. She’s here. She’s finally here! Oh, finally. He’s been waiting for so long.

Are the flowers talking about you? Is that what you’re hearing? No. It can’t possibly be. This is too much. You have to be hallucinating or asleep. This isn’t real. None of this is real.

You push yourself further up the path, passing painted butterflies of orange, blue, and white colors as they flutter above your head. The area is so green, lush grass and vibrant plants every which way you look. Glowing mushrooms the color of hot pink line the way through the thick trees, and you follow.

You end up on a winding path, a soft, salmon colored dust path that splits off into four different directions. You turn to the left, to the right, looking all four ways as your mind races like a ticking clock.

A large white wooden sign sits to the left of the path, arrows pointing in all different directions as the signs read This Way, That Way, Up Here, Wrong Way, Down Here. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of this madness. How the fuck were you going to get out of this mess if the signs couldn’t even be read?!

You stomp one of your shoes into the dirt and kick some pink dust up, feeling yourself losing your patience as this place isn’t making any sense. First, there was a white rabbit with a golden watch, then you crawled through a small hole that led you to some sort of fantasy land, then the rabbit accused you of being late, and now this.

You kick the edge of the wooden sign with your foot aggressively and let out a deep huff. “How do I get out of here?” you sigh as you cross your arms and furrow your eyebrows together.

“You want to get out of here? But you only just got here!” A slithery, deep voice slips down from one of the jacaranda trees and startles you as you jump back from the voice.

“Who’s there?” you ask shakily as you look up into the big purple leaves of the massive trees. You search and search until a large cat comes out of the shadows and shows its face. You stop in your tracks and look up as a pair of big green eyes appear on a low hanging branch. Its body materializes next as thick lines of purple and pink paint its long-haired fur.

“Who is there is a good question, isn’t it? I know who you are, but you don’t know me. How intriguing,” he smiles as he hangs off the branch and twists his body to where his face is right in front of yours. His green eyes glow like fairy lanterns and his pearly white sharp incisors seem to go on for miles.

“How do you know who I am?” you ask nervously as you stare back into eyes that lock on yours. His smile widens as he drops his body further, seeming to float in space as he places his sharp paws underneath his chin.

“Oh, my dear. Everyone knows who you are here. It’s no secret. We’ve been waiting. Mostly he’s been waiting. And what a treat that’ll be. You’re even prettier than I imagined,” he chuckles deeply as he spins his body around yours, floating in thin air.

“Who is he that everyone seems to be talking about?” you ask annoyed as you cross your bare arms over your chest and turn to follow his floating body. You want answers and you want them now.

“You’ll find out soon, very soon,” he laughs as his fanned out tail glides against your shoulder, leaving a feather-like touch to your skin.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me then just tell me which way I’ll find him,” you demand as you place your hands on your hips, letting the soft material of your blue dress sink through you.

“This way,” he points to the left, his claws sharp like knives as he switches directions and points to the right. “No, this way. Actually, maybe it’s north of here,” he smiles as he points up from where he floats.

You purse your lips to try to keep yourself calm. “Please, just tell me where to go,” you plead, eyes burning red as you try to keep your composure together, but it’s slowly breaking the more this cat plays with you.

“You’re exactly where you need to be, my dear. Just hold tight,” he smiles as he disappears into thin air, his voice carrying through the wind as it slowly slips away. Vanishing just like that.

You look every which way while fisting your hands to your side and turn back toward the direction you first came, looking out into the wildflower fields that paint the ground a sea of rainbow colors. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, letting the cool breeze hit your skin as you inhale scents of fresh roses and lilty daisies.

“Home, I need to get back home,” you whisper silently.

Just as you take another deep breath, you hear the deep sound of a throat being cleared and then a rugged, gravelly voice break you free of your thoughts of home.

“You lost there, darlin?”

You turn back around, as quick as a bolt of crisp lightning, and you’re about to chew the cat back out until you realize it’s not him. It’s a man. Him. It has to be the one they were all talking about.

You watch as he leans up against the rough bark of a winding tree, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he leans and watches you closely, eyes trailing down your body as he takes you in nice and slow. Suddenly you’re completely nervous and forgetting your words as you take him in.

Tall. He’s so tall, a little over six feet if you had to guess. His eyes are like pools of honey. Deep, brown eyes that seem to have flecks of warmth sprinkled all around them. And his arms. God, his arms. Large, muscular as his biceps pull at the blue flannel button-up that wraps tightly around him. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing large veins that seem to thread and skate down his arms as they end in massive hands. Hands that probably feel warm, safe.

His blue jeans cling to his thick thighs as clean leather boots lace up over his large feet. He smirks over at you, a flirtatious, playful look that says he’s trouble written all over that gorgeous face. A smooth, patchy beard and mustache cover his face with silver lining the edges. And his hair. Dark tousled curls that spill over the edges of his forehead, and you think they look soft to the touch, maybe even like velvet.

He looks like trouble to you. Warm, inviting, fun trouble.

God, he’s so handsome.

“Well?” he asks again, waiting for you to answer.

“I…I…” you stutter out, unable to even form a comprehensive sentence. What the fuck is wrong with you?

“Cat got your tongue?” he chuckles as the deep sound from his chest seems to reverberate right off the hollow tree barks, landing right into your own chest. It’s like you can feel his laugh. Warm, syrupy, infectious. He’s like a dream. A dream that doesn’t seem to be quite real.

You shake your head, clearing the fog as you find your words again. “I was just looking for my way out of here. Back home,” you answer as you take a step forward and lace your fingers together as you hold them nervously behind your back.

“Back home? You already want to leave so soon?” he laughs as he pushes himself off the tree and takes a few steps forward, crunching his leather boots over the salmon colored dirt of the road.

“Of course she doesn’t. She hasn’t even seen all of Wonderland yet,” the cat replies as he comes out of thin air and rests on the handsome man’s shoulders, his lined purple tail curling around his long neck. “I think she wants you to show her Wonderland,” he says with mischief written all over those glowing green cat eyes.

“Wonderland?” you ask with your eyebrows knit together in concentration. “What’s Wonderland?”

The cat twists its flexible body over the man’s arm, floating off to his side as he smiles brightly up at him. “I’ll let you lead the way. Good luck,” he grins as a loud laugh carries through every path of the massive forest. “Goodbye, pretty girl,” he calls as he vanishes once again into thin air, only the glow of his jagged smile staying in the cotton clouds, high above the trees.

You shake your head and laugh under your breath. This place isn’t real. It can’t be. “Who was that?” you ask the man as he crosses his arms and looks over at you with a gleam in his shiny brown eyes.

“That’s the Cheshire Cat. You can just call him Ches for short. That’s what we all call him,” he replies as he takes another step toward you, getting so close that you can smell him. Rich mahogany and the scent of deep pine needles. Intoxicating.

“And you? Who are you?” you ask as you flick your eyes over him, seeing just how large in stature he is.

“The name’s Joel. Joel Miller,” he nods as he sticks a large hand out to you, edging you to take it as he shoves it closer to you after you do nothing but stare at it.

You finally get the courage to reach your hand out and place it in his. You gasp as soon as he closes his strong grip on yours. His fingers are thick, calloused, warm as you slowly shake his hand.

His eyes lock on yours and it’s like you’re frozen in time, flecks of golden brown staring back at you as you quickly come back to reality. You drop his hand and take a step back, breaking the soft introduction as you stare at the small crevices in the ground.

“I know who you are.” He says your name softly as if he’s known you for years. And it sounds so good coming off his tongue, like a melody that sweeps past the breeze and lands right into a large bed of wildflowers. Gentle. He says your name so gently, soft. But how does he know your name? This doesn’t make any sense.

“How do you know my name?” you ask suspiciously as you watch him shift his weight back and forth against the firm ground.

He chuckles like this is all a game to him, like you know him already when in reality he’s a complete stranger. Someone you’ve never met. You would’ve remembered if you met someone like him before.

“There’s a lot I know about you, sweetheart,” he smirks, a devastatingly handsome smile that you can’t help but melt over.

Sweetheart? Something shifts inside you as you take in his handsome face, his warm eyes that seem to drip like flowing honey. A gleam in his eye that tells you you do know him. But how? You want to stare into those entrancing eyes, want to walk over and trace your fingers against the starry flecks of warmth, but there’s no time for that. You need answers, now.

“What is this place? Wonderland is what Ches said. What’s Wonderland?”

Joel just laughs and shakes his head. “Wonderland has been here for a very long time. It’s been here waiting for you. It’s been so long, darlin’. So very long. We didn’t think you’d ever come,” he says quietly as he huffs a sigh of relief that you’re actually standing here in front of him.

“You’ve been waiting? What? I don’t understand. I’ve never been here before. This has got to be some sick fantasy. I must’ve fallen and bumped my head. None of this is real.”

“You sure about that, sweetheart?” he asks as one of his dark eyebrows raises high on his forehead, eyes staring at you as if he’s waiting for you to say something else.

You question his stance but quickly shake your head out of the daze. “Yes, this isn’t real. Now I’m going to close my eyes and pinch myself and then I’ll wake up back in the real world,” you confirm as you close your eyes tightly and dream of home.

Home. You mean back to your overwhelming, overworked life as you engage in endless meetings and parties with people that don’t matter. Is that what you really want to go back to? Is that what you want?

You keep your eyes sealed closed as you grit your teeth together and think of home. Home. Back to your warm bed and back to your cat, Duchess. You feel a pinch sting your arm as you squeeze your fingertips together, but to no avail. It doesn’t seem to work.

You hear the sounds of a deep chuckle rumbling in front of you, and then you peel your eyes open to see Joel standing a few paces away as he crosses his strong arms and shakes his head in dismissal. He’s laughing at you.

“What’s so funny?” you ask annoyed, huffing out as you see you’re still in Wonderland. It didn’t work.

“Didn’t work, did it?” he smirks, his large hand dragging down his coarse beard as his penetrating gaze keeps you in place.

You gulp, catching your own breath as you answer quietly. “No. I guess it didn’t…”

“That’s because this is real,” he confirms as he takes another step closer to you, boots scuffing against the dirt as he takes another and another and another until he’s standing right in front of you, wild brown eyes sinking down into yours.

You shake your head, unwilling to accept that this may very well be real. “This isn’t real. You’re not real.”

“Not real, huh? Reach out and touch the trunk of the tree,” he instructs as his gentle voice carries through the crisp air.

“Why?”

“Just do it, will ya?” he asks with more force in his rugged voice, the sound making you stand up straighter as it reverberates down your spine.

“You’re a stubborn one, ain’t ya?” he chuckles, a Southern drawl carrying through the wind as it lands straight through your ringing eardrums.

“Guess so,” you laugh.

You reach your arm out timidly and stroke the dark bark of the tree, feeling the rough edges snag against the palm of your hand.

“There ya go, just like that,” he praises as you feel his hot breath breathing down your neck, your skin suddenly boiling alive as you breathe in the scent of fresh bark and wood as it seems to cloud your racing mind.

You take a step back out of his reach and look nervously around you. It sure felt real, but it still didn’t explain how you were here.

As if he sees the wavering expression on your face, he speaks again. Low and gruff sounds falling off the tip of his tongue. “This place is real. Just as much as I am. Here, close your eyes for a second,” he says nicely as he takes another step forward.

You take a step back, and he holds his hands up to say he’s not going to hurt you. “Please, just for a second. Close ‘em. Need you to trust me, sweetheart.”

As your mind caves to his request, you find yourself obeying. You close your eyes and twist your fingers around the hem of your dress, letting the nerves drift away as you try to relax.

“Now, take a deep breath. Focus on the sounds of the rushing water, the trees gently blowing through the wind, the air around you as it blows through your hair. Just listen, get lost in the sounds, in yourself,” he instructs with a lilty voice, the sounds instantly calming you as you follow his instructions.

You slow your breathing down, taking nice, deep breaths as you lose yourself to your surroundings. You hear the faint hum of honey bees dancing through the wildflowers, feel the rush of spring air as it blows gently through your flowing hair, hear the trickle of the river as the distant waterfall clashes against rocks and smooth water.

Focus. Deep breaths. This is real, this is real.

Before you can take another breath, a large palm slides against your cheek, and you almost jolt at the electric spark it ignites in your body.

“Does this feel real to you?” he asks quietly, the volume of his words coming off as composed, soft, warm.

You carefully place your hand over his as you feel the opposite textures of his skin. The back of his hand is soft, smooth as your fingers timidly graze along his tanned skin. His palm is rough, calloused fingers hovering over your jawline as his thick fingers stay right there on your face.

It feels strange how warm and inviting he feels, how vaguely familiar he seems as you breathe in the taste of mahogany and pinewood, letting the scent coat your lungs as you drink it down. You want to box it up, wrap it tightly in a jar so you can fill your surroundings with the smell of him.

“Open your eyes,” he whispers, his hand still grazing your jawline as you flutter your eyelids open.

Your eyes grow wide as you see him standing right in front of you, boots meeting the edges of your open wedge shoes as you see just how clear and coated his glossy brown eyes are now.

“This real enough for you?” he asks quietly as he slides his calloused thumb across your cheek once more, filling your insides with warmth and peace. A peace you’ve been craving for months.

“Yes,” you whisper out, voice deceiving you as he drops his hand and chuckles, taking a step back as he digs his fingers into the pocket of his dark jeans. You’re suddenly aware that the warmth is gone from your face. It left the moment he dropped his fingers from your jawline.

You take a moment to breathe, letting the warm sunlight wash over your fair skin as you let the scent of lilies and forest scents bring you back to earth. You take one more deep breath and ask the question that haunts your mind.

“What am I doing here, Joel? How am I? I just… I just don’t understand.” Your right hand grabs the edge of the satiny material of your light blue dress as your eyes wander back over to the man with broad shoulders and beautiful eyes.

He shrugs a little, but smiles underneath the hoods of his brown eyes. “You needed an escape, darlin’. You opened the door to Wonderland. You found it, with a little help from the white rabbit,” he responds with a deep chuckle. “But, ultimately, you found it on your own. It’s your fantasy land.”

“My fantasy land? But I… I’ve never been here before. How could it be mine if I didn’t even know about it? And you. How could you possibly know I was coming?” you ask with your voice raised, endless questions brewing as if this was all impossible in the first place.

Impossible. This place is impossible.

“I wasn’t sure you would come. I only hoped you would,” he says softly as warm brown eyes look down into yours, feelings stirring inside you that you can’t quite decipher. Too twisted, too tied in knots, too risky to untangle.

“Why do I feel like I’ve known you for years? I only just met you…” you whisper vacantly, your voice hollowing out on the last syllable as something snaps inside you. A feeling of… tranquility.

“A funny feelin’, ain’t it? Those feelings are never really wrong though, are they?”

His pondering questions make you feel crazy, mind boggling as you slowly shake your head. No. That can’t be true. Or is he just twisting your mind to make you believe whatever he says? But somehow you know he’s not lying to you. He wouldn’t. Somehow you know he’s not playing tricks on you. Deep down you know, he’s telling the truth.

You run your fingers through your hair and let them fall back down to your sides unfaltering. “Am I mad? Have I lost my mind?” you ask distraughtly as you bite your lower lip and knit your eyebrows together in deep thought.

He takes a step forward, golden eyes shining in the sunlight as he laughs and shakes his head. “We’re all a little mad here, darlin’.”

You stifle a small laugh and shake your head knowingly. “Mmm,” you hum as you take in the madness of the words.

We’re all mad here.

He nods his head as a curl falls down against his forehead, leaning toward the winding path that’ll take you north into a forest of wonders. “C’mon. Follow me.”

Follow me. The words twist off his tongue as they echo through your mind. Follow me. What will happen if you do follow him?

You turn back toward the way you came, eyes searching for a hidden door you can’t see anymore. Covered by twisting vines and a sea of green mazes that snake around the overflowing garden. No turning back now.

You feel Joel’s large presence behind you, drawing closer and closer until he’s right behind you as his dark shadow falls across the salmon colored pathway. You inhale a deep breath, but all you smell is pine needles and fresh wood and maybe a hint of fresh cut grass. You smell him.

“You’ve gotta stop lookin’ back from the way you came, sweetheart. I know that’s the last place you want to be right now. You want to be away from the noise, the stress, the fake smiles.”

His voice slides against the shell of your ear, reverberating down to your chest as his words sting your insides. Of course you don’t want to go back to that. So why are you looking back?

“What are you so scared of, sweetheart? Hmm?” he asks quietly, his fingertips grazing the edge of your arm as goosebumps form over the sensitive areas he touches. Wildfire burning in the thick brush of trees is what it feels like. Fiery, tempting, smoldering. You can almost taste the flames. Those stirring, enticing flames.

“Everything,” you whisper, pulling all the courage in your gut to answer his question. What are you so scared of?

“Everything, huh? Darlin’, you don’t have to be scared of me. You don’t have to fear this place. This is your safe haven, your sanctuary. Take a leap of faith. Come join me. Follow me through the trees. There’s nothin’ to fear. The only thing you should fear is time itself. So relax. Can you do that for me?” he asks, his hot breath blowing down your exposed neck as you feel his large hand slip down to your waist, barely grazing your light blue dress as his lips sit dangerously close to your jawline.

You don’t have to be scared of me. Relax. This is your safe haven. The words simmer in your mind as your heartbeat races in your blood. The only thing you should fear is time itself.

“The only thing you should fear is time?” you repeat, the words leaving your lips as you feel his calloused fingers trace a flyaway hair behind your ear, tucking it back neatly as he lines his soft lips up to your earlobe and whispers.

“Time, darlin’. You can’t escape it, can’t run from it. But you can run with the madness, let your mind unwind just a little as you slip away into wonder. Let me show you the way,” he coaxes, a sweet melody that enchants your very soul, pulling you toward him, away from all the noise of the outside world, away from normalcy.

You feel him slip from your grasp as you open your eyes up and turn slowly in his direction, seeking his soft brown eyes and deft fingers again. He smirks over at you, a mischievous grin as he nods his head and holds out his hand.

“Follow me through Wonderland, sweetheart. Let me show you exactly what I’m talking about.”

You look at his outstretched hand and look back behind you, back to the way you came in. No going back. This is your chance. Take a leap of faith. Follow him through Wonderland.

You turn once more and see him nod his head, a gentle smile curling up against the sides of his mouth as his warm eyes wade into yours. It’s like you hear his calming drawl as you look at his outstretched hand, calloused fingers reaching your way, convincing you to take it.

Follow me through Wonderland. Let me show you.

You lift your hand, curling your fingers as you think twice about it. His soft brown eyes relax, the crow’s feet pulling at the edges of his tanned skin as his crinkled eyes tell you it’s okay. You can take his hand.

“C’mon, sweetheart. You can trust me,” he says softly, his large palm reaching out a little more, coaxing you to take it.

It’s like you hear the swaying whispers of the wild flowers in the fields, their small trills of voices as they carry through the wind. Take his hand. He’s safe. He’s been waiting so long for you. Let him take you to Wonderland.

You feel it inside your chest, the building breaths and aching longing that leads you to him. Just one more glance at those brown flecks of warmth and that’s all it takes to convince you.

You reach your hand out and press it slowly into his palm, letting his calloused fingers lace through yours as you gasp at the warmth that simmers there. Safe, he’s safe.

He leads you forward through the thick trees, passing peculiar species of birds and plants you’ve never seen before. All shades of the rainbow laid out like a colorful map for you to take in. As you look around in awe, Joel turns his head back and smiles at you. A warm, gentle smile that makes your insides melt with affection.

He continues leading you through this beautiful, strange world. Further, further, further until you’re almost to the end of the pink road, following Joel as he takes the lead.

His hand presses into yours more, calloused fingers brushing over yours as comfort embeds your entire skin.

Familiar, he seems so familiar like you’ve been here before, like you’ve held his hand before, like you’ve known him for so long. And it’s strange, such a strange feeling that encompasses your whole being.

You reach the end of the path and then end up in a wide open space that looks like an enchanted forest. Rows of colorful tulips, marigolds, and lillies cover the area. Green hills in the far distance tower high in the sky, lush grass covers the ground, and a running river crashes lightly to the left of a cobblestone path.

As you walk through the path of vivid flowers, you swear you hear them whispering, calling your name as your bare legs brush past them. And it sounds like they’re talking about you.

Joel chuckles quietly in front of you as he shakes his head, ruffling his tousled curls as he turns and looks back at you.

“Did I hear the flowers whisper my name? Or am I hearing things?” you ask as he looks at you with sun kissed lips and brown flecked eyes.

“They uh… they were definitely talkin’ ‘bout ya. Don’t mind them. They like to gossip to each other,” he laughs, the infectious sound flowing through your ears as you can’t help but smile shyly back up at him.

He really is handsome.

“What are they saying?” you ask as he continues to lead you through the glowing sunshine of the glittering forest.

“They think you’re pretty,” he blushes as if he’s hiding something else, but you don’t push for more answers.

“Pretty, huh? That’s what they think?”

“Mhm. Beautiful…” he whispers under his breath, making your cheeks blush crimson as you fight a growing smile on your glossy lips.

As you continue walking through patches of soft grass, past more whispering tulip fields, you can’t help but wonder if this is all a trick of the eye. Everything is so beautiful, so surreal like that it’s hard to wrap your head around this place.

Joel looks back your way and squeezes your hand, assessing your wandering gaze as you watch a bright blue butterfly land on Joel’s shoulder, the butterfly seeming to stare up at him as Joel smiles down and nods. “Hello, Absolem.”

“Absolem?” you ask as the butterfly turns your way and crawls on the back of your hand, looking up at you as if he’s trying to talk to you. No words come out of his mouth, but you swear you see a tiny speck of a smile on his lips as he flies away and leaves you standing there watching in awe.

“Absolem,” Joel confirms.

“You talk to butterflies in your spare time?” you laugh as you casually tease him. He squeezes his hand around you and shakes his head.

“We’re in Wonderland, remember? You can pretty much talk to anything, even the trees. They’ll eventually answer you.”

“Strange, this is so strange.”

“Just wait till you see the mad tea party up ahead,” he responds as he pulls you deeper into a shaded area covered by big, purple leaves that fill the trees.

“Mad tea party?” you ask with a raised brow.

“You’ll see,” he smirks as he pulls you along.

You walk around a big, shaded tree and come to stand a few feet from a long, narrow table that has tall wooden chairs surrounding it. A lacy white table cloth hangs low over the edges as various icing topped cakes, intricate tea pots, fine china, and pastries litter the table in a heap.

You gasp as you see a mangy rabbit with discombobulated ears yelling about unbirthdays and tea sitting about the table. The white rabbit sits on the opposite side assessing his golden watch while arguing with the other rabbit, and the Cheshire Cat floats above the table as he curls his striped tail around his neck. But what wracks your brain a little is the tall, peculiar man that sits at the head of the table.

He has a large green top hat with a decorative pink ribbon around the rim of the hat. His clothes are odd. A red velvet jacket sits atop a purple frilly shirt with a large multicolored bow around his neck. His pants sit pressed against his legs as stripes fill the cotton material.

When he looks up, a large white smile fills his face as bright red hair sticks out underneath his top hat and flashy green eyes stare wildly your way. He drops his cup of tea and sprints over to you in a hurry, wide eyes staring your way in shock.

“It’s you! You finally found your way,” he says out of breath, voice elated with excitement as he looks over at Joel. “Joel, you found her. You brought her back!” he shouts as he jumps up and down in a crazed manner.

“Brought me back?” you ask confused. But you haven’t been here before. Have you?

“She found Wonderland herself, hatter. I didn’t bring her here. She found it on her own.” He looks over at you, and you swear you see pride in his eyes, a fondness that could only be explained by looking into his eyes.

Safe. He’s safe.

“Darlin’, this is the mad hatter.”

The mad hatter takes your hand as he says your name and bows his head as he tips his oversized hat to you, making you feel like you belong here. Like you’re not a stranger to this world.

“Nice to meet you,” you say as you give him a courteous greeting.

He smiles up at you with a big Cheshire grin and asks you the most curious question you’ve ever heard before. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” he asks with big green eyes as he leans forward with his hands clapping together in anticipation.

“Umm I’m not sure…” you say quizzically, eyebrows knit together as Joel just shakes his head.

“Hatter, she doesn’t have time for questions like that. Let her be. Her and Joel have places to go,” the white rabbit says as he holds up his ticking watch, the other rabbit just pointing and laughing at nothing in particular.

“Oh, right. Well you must come back for tea! We can celebrate your unbirthday and have lots of tea and cake,” he shouts loudly as he bows and skips back over to the table, joining the madness of the tea party again.

“Go on now,” the Cheshire Cat says as he waves you off with the flick of his purple paw. “Have fun with Joel.” He smiles a wide, bright smile at you as it curls into a devious smirk, pure trouble behind those blinding green eyes.

Joel chuckles under his breath and shakes his head. “C’mon, darlin’. Got a lot more to show you.” He grabs your wrist and pulls you the opposite way of the tea party as you hear the faint shouts and laughs from the ridiculousness of it all.

As you walk through a trail of wispy willows and white rose bushes, you ask him another question as you follow his lead. “You live here? In Wonderland?”

“Mhm. Got a house right up that winding path.” He points to a cobblestone path that leads into a valley of tall, green trees that overlook the side of a flowing waterfall.

“It’s just you?” you ask, eyes fixed on the large veins in his neck as he purses his lips together and nods his head.

“Jus’ me, darlin’.”

“It must get lonely here. By yourself, I mean,” you say as you nip at your bottom lip, hoping you’re not overstretching your questions.

“It can be, I suppose.” At those words, his thick fingers wrap tighter around your wrist, almost as if he’s latching on to you, hoping you won’t leave too soon. You can almost hear the wallowing of his words as if he speaks them out loud to you.

Don't go away. Stay here with me.

You continue walking, the green grass catching on your shoes as you come across a large, glistening pond. Massive green lily pads with pink flowers that sit atop them wade in the water as they float gently in the breeze. Joel nods his head and takes a step forward, but you take a step back, fear coursing through you.

“You want me to cross that?” you ask all wide-eyed and mouth falling open as you see no other way across. “Wouldn’t the lily pads just sink?”

“They’re solid, made for crossing by foot. It’s alright. I do it all the time.”

He holds his hand out, his large palm facing up as he nods for you to take it. You weigh your options carefully. Either turn back to the mad tea party or take your chances here with Joel. You know which one you want to choose.

His brown eyes become warmer, golden flecks dancing in his irises as he spreads his fingers wider, taking a step in your direction as he asks you once more to put a little faith in him.

“C’mon, sweetheart. You trust me?” he asks as his eyebrows knit together in a tight line, his eyes searching yours as he waits for an answer. There’s that look again, the one you saw back at the entrance from where you came. You hear the words so carefully.

You can trust me.

“Yes,” you breathe, putting your hand in his as a smile curls up on his lips that forms a dimple against his cheek.

He’s so fucking handsome.

“Well, c’mon then, sweetheart. This way,” he responds as he carefully leads you across the floating lily pads.

Glowing coy fish glide under the water as sparkling dragonflies hover over the surface of the crystal clear water and dance around the green lily pads. The smell of spring and rose bushes fill the air as the glowing sun warms your soft skin. This place is so magical.

When you finally cross over to the other side of the pond, Joel leads you over to a sea of giant mushrooms. Pastel pinks, dark blues, violet purples, and shades of ember reds fill the area. And they look so soft to the touch, like velvet beds you can crawl up and take a cat nap on.

Joel turns you around, his eyes softening as those flecks of warmth sink deep into yours. He stands so close to you, so close that you can smell the pine wood and mahogany scent that drip off his very being. You want to inhale that scent, drown in it as it coats your insides, bottle it up so you remember exactly what he smells like.

And then he smiles. That deep, warm smile that seems to pull everything into place. It’s so warm, so calming, so soothing. You’ve seen it before, you know you have. But where? When? You don’t even know. All you know is you have seen him before. You must have.

You gulp and twist your fingers nervously through your skirt that blows gently in the wind, your lips parting open as you find your words. “Why do I feel like this isn’t the first time I’ve met you? I feel… I feel like I’ve known you for so long,” you murmur out carefully as your gears grind together in your brain.

He chuckles, a deep, sated sound that seems to fill your body up with a splash of warmth. “You think you’ve been here before?” he asks curiously, eyebrows raising as he places all his attention on you.

“I don’t… I don’t think so. I would’ve remembered this place. I would’ve remembered you,” you stammer out, your brain cells firing off as you try to remember.

Remember, remember, remember. But you can’t. You can’t.

Your brain starts to go foggy, all memories of this place nonexistent. If you’ve never been here before then why do you feel this way about Joel? Why is he clouding your entire mind with his warm eyes and gentle smile?

“Why do you think you’re here, darlin’? Why do you think you opened up that locked door to Wonderland?” he asks with a tilted head, eyebrows knitting together as he concentrates solely on you.

You gulp as his intense stare lingers on you. Your fingers grip the hem of your dress as you stutter out nonsense. “I… ummm I don’t know…”

“No?” he asks as he crooks his head, a hand sitting deep in the pocket of his jeans as his eyebrows mold together in a tight line. “I think you do, sweetheart.”

You take another breath as you blow it out through your mouth, letting it fall through the wind as you swallow back nerves. “You seem to know, Joel. So tell me. Tell me why I’m here.”

He smirks before he starts to move forward, his broad form coming closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of you. Joel circles you slowly, calloused fingers trailing up your bare arms as he slides behind your tense shoulders. He drags his index finger along your collarbone gently, making you squeak as nerves pull through the pit of your stomach.

“This is why you came here, remember? To let go, to lose yourself in this fantasy,” he purrs as his lips slide against the shell of your ear, breathing hot air down your neck as your body seems to still against the lull of his deep voice.

His thick fingers trace your jawline, your chin, your neck as he courses down to the strap of your delicate sky blue dress and lingers there, slowly hooking a finger under as he whispers seductively into your ear, “So let go.”

Your breath hitches as his sloped nose brushes against yours, his lips hanging inches above yours as you stare at them. Big, plush, enticing lips. Soft. They look so soft, like they’d fit perfectly over yours.

His forehead drops down to yours as you breathe him in deep. Pine trees, wood, sunlight, ecstasy. It’s all you smell, all you feel as his calloused fingers brush over your jawline, lingering under your chin as he brings your face up, up, up. Just enough to be able to brush his lips against yours as you feel hot warmth flood through your insides. Anticipation builds as you nearly moan his name out, your lips parting slightly as you gaze into his warm, starry eyes. And in that moment you want him, badly.

“Is this what you want, sweetheart? Wanna let go and lose yourself in me?” he blows over your lips, his fingers brushing a curl behind your ear as they tease your jawline, making you arch up more as your fingers dig into the soft material of his flannel. “Say yes, let me show you how to let go,” he coaxes.

Without thinking, you let your body take control as you slur the words out effortlessly. “Yes, show me. Show me how to let go,” you whisper.

He wastes no time and crashes into your lips, his large hands cupping your face as he presses deeper against your mouth. Soft. His lips are so fucking soft as they ravish yours deftly.

You part your lips for him, letting him slot his tongue inside your mouth as he glides the tip of it against yours. He dances around your mouth, meticulous circles as you breathe him in, tasting the honeysuckle flavor of his large tongue. You run your fingers through his tousled curls and feel the moan that catches in his mouth, making you burn like wildfire against the sound.

He starts pushing you back and you walk backwards and feel yourself stop as something hits the back of your thighs. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t stop as he takes and takes and takes. Continuing to twist his savory tongue around your mouth.

After a few more seconds of intense kissing and fingers twisting in hair, he breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against yours as his large hands run down your sides, landing on your hips as he starts to hike your dress slowly up. Your breathing is ragged, desperate as you want more.

Give me more, please.

It’s like he senses your need as he asks, “You gonna let go for me, sweetheart? Let me give you what you need?”

“Yes, yes,” you whisper rapidly as you hear him chuckle under his breath.

“Good, let me take care of you, baby. Sit back for me.”

He pushes you back further as you land sitting on top of a dark blue mushroom. It’s big, soft, almost velvety as you lay your palms flat against it. It almost feels like a bed made of feathers. How strange. He puts a hand on your shoulder and gently shoves you back until you’re laying flat against the mushroom, the softness of it all taking over as your heart pounds in your chest.

You look up and see him stalking toward you like a starved dog, his smirk widening as his eyes darken and hound you. When he reaches the edge of the mushroom, he grabs your legs and slides you forward as you hear a small yelp escape your vocal cords.

“What are you… what are you doing?” you ask nervously as he slowly starts to part your legs while dragging his thick fingers up and down your thighs languidly.

“What’s it look like I’m doin’, hmm?” he asks, smirking as he cocks an eyebrow up and digs his nail beds into your flesh, making a coat of slick fall against your now sticky panties.

He moves up, up, up until he’s hovering over your clothed folds, brushing ever so gently against the damp material. Oh, fuck. He teases the waistband of the material and skims over the soft skin underneath, making you bite your bottom lip as you practically beg him with your needy eyes to keep going.

“You want me to keep goin’, baby? You gotta tell me what you want. Use your words, c’mon.”

“I… yes, I…” you stutter out, unable to say anything else as he barely slides the waistband down, just enough to where you feel the gentle breeze blow against your nearly exposed pussy.

Oh, fuck.

“You want me to make you feel good? Want me to take all that stress and pent up energy away?” he asks as his eyes start to pulse into dark pits. “Hmm?” he hums as he brushes the heel of his palm into your dripping center, making you jump at the jolt of electricity.

“Please. Fuck, Joel. Please,” you beg as he hikes your light blue skirt over your hips and presses his thumb into your clothed folds that are already soaking for him.

“Goddamn, darlin’. Already so fuckin’ wet for me,” he hisses as he slips his thumb inside the lace material and brushes his thumb against your soft folds.

He groans as he feels just how wet you are for him. “You have no idea how good I’m gonna make you feel, baby. Just lay back and let me take care of this pretty pussy,” he smirks.

He grabs the edges of the material and slides them fluidly down your legs as he throws them to the ground. He stands back and rakes his hand painfully through his scruff as he knits his eyebrows together and groans at the sight of you.

“Goddamn it, you’re so pretty, baby. Fuck,” he groans as he pushes your knees apart and stares at your pulsing core, a look of pure pain crossing his tan face.

He falls to his knees on the bed of grass as he slowly starts to trail kisses up your legs. He starts at your ankle, slowly working his way up the side of your knee, then pressing sweet kisses to the inside of your thighs as he works you up nice and slow.

He slowly blows a wave of air across your exposed center and lavishly runs his hands up and down your thighs as you feel more slick start to form between your thighs.

“Oh, baby. Fuckin’ drippin’ for me. You look so sweet, just wanna eat you up,” he groans as he places a tender kiss into the crease of your thigh and then slowly, slowly reaches your center, right where you want him.

“Oh,” you breathe out, forgetting how to take even breaths as your body starts to shake.

“Eyes on me, darlin’. Want you to watch,” he purrs, his eyes dark pits as he hooks his meaty hands around your thighs and smirks up at you. “Eyes. On. Me.”

He slowly licks a thick stripe from your dripping hole and glides it up against your soft folds as he repeats the action two more times. You let out a breathy moan as his tongue makes all your nerve endings come alive. Wildfire burning through your body, begging him to give you more.

“Joel,” you moan as he teases the tops of your folds with his large tongue, smirking as his drool runs down your pussy.

“You taste so fuckin’ sweet, darlin’,” he coos out. “Just hang on.”

He lifts his mouth and slowly lets saliva that’s pooling in his mouth drip over your throbbing pussy, letting the warm sensation cover you in bliss. He breathes in deep and then spits on you as he meticulously rubs the fluid around and around and around, rubbing his thumb in tight circles around your aching clit.

You writhe against him and part your lips open, knitting your eyebrows together as the sensation makes your head feel dizzy and light. You choke on another moan as he stares deeply into your eyes as he circles and circles and circles. Rubbing just the right areas as more slick drips down his calloused fingers.

“Joel,” you whine as his calloused thumb presses deeper against your clit.

“That’s right, baby. I’ve got you. Hang on, sweetheart. Not gonna stop till I have you coming on my tongue,” he growls.”

He plunges his soft lips down on you as he parts your folds with his fingers and laps soft circles against your puffy clit. You moan as he devours you and tilt your head back in pure bliss as you stare up at the fluffy cotton candy clouds.

You flutter your eyelashes as you tilt your head to look down at him, his blown out pupils staring up at you wide-eyed as he feasts on you nice and slow. He pulls your throbbing bundle of nerves into his warm mouth, and it takes everything in you to keep from coming in that instant.

He slips two fingers inside your dripping hole as he plunges deep inside you, curling his fingers up to hit that spot that makes you see stars in your blurry vision. You twist your fingers into his tousled curls as he moans against you, pulling your clit back into his mouth as he sucks you down, down, down.

You hear the squelching noises of his fingers plunging in and out of you, feel the pressure building in your spine as he licks and sucks your glistening clit. You feel like you’re on cloud nine, feel as if it’s just you and Joel in this fantasy land, feel as if you could come undone at any moment as the wet noises seem to echo through the blowing breeze.

You feel your walls start to clench up as he quickens his pace of his fingers inside you, licking long stripes up your core as you moan out his name again and again and again. You’re so close, so close to spilling yourself all over him as you tighten your fingers through his curls and arch your back off the matte blue mushroom.

“C’mon, baby. Come for me. Let me see you let go,” he coaxes as he presses against your spongy walls and pulls your clit into his mouth as he sucks you deep. That’s what does it for you.

“Fuck, Joel. I… I’m coming,” you moan as you feel your walls clench up one more time and then release, white hot liquid spilling down as he laps you up nice and slow.

Your vision goes black as you tilt your head to the sky and let your body ease into a relaxed state as you come down from your orgasm. You feel your breath come in rapid waves as you fight for air to build back in your lungs, your core still on fire for Joel as he laps up all your slick in between your legs.

He stands tall as his large body leans over you, your legs straddling around him as he stands in between your thighs. Your slick glistens on his patchy scruff and mustache, and it makes you that much wetter as your eyes trail over his ravenous features.

“Did so good, baby. So good,” he praises as he brings one hand to caress your cheek affectionately, making you tingle all over at the fondness of the touch.

“That was… that was incredible,” you gasp out as he smirks down at you, the warm flecks of his eyes shining down on you like a golden ray of sunshine.

Warm. He’s so warm.

“Glad I could indulge in your fantasies,” he chuckles as he brings his hand back down your side, his fingers tracing delicately down your hip as he makes his way over your thigh, slowly trailing up and down in slow motions.

“You’re gonna give me another one,” he smirks, his pupils expanding into black pits as he brushes against your sensitive folds.

“Another one? But I’m so sensitive, Joel. I don’t know if I can…” you whine, panting between breaths as you think about him giving you another mind blowing orgasm.

“Oh, trust me. You can and you will,” he growls between his teeth as he starts to move his fingers up and down your folds again, starting a fire down in the pits of your core. “Tell me yes, sweetheart. Tell me it’s okay.”

Your mind fogs over as you nod your head and whisper out, “Okay. Okay.”

“You trust me?” he asks with a cocked brow, his fingers slowly gliding up and down your center, already building slick against his thick fingers.

“I trust you,” you nod, biting your lip as you hold back a moan.

“Yeah ya do,” he smirks. “Don’t hold back now, baby. Wanna hear those loud moans.”

He presses his calloused fingers deeper against your center, spreading your folds as he starts to circle his slick coated fingers against your puffy clit. He spits down again on your pussy and gathers the spit on his fingers, making you more soaked as you hear the sticky, wet sounds of thick fingers against drenched skin.

He hovers over you, leaning against his arm as he stares intensely down at you with those big black pits of his. Your mouth drops open as he flicks against your clit faster, faster, faster until your eyes start to roll back as you feel the blood rushing between your legs.

“That’s a good girl,” he praises as you moan at the sweet words, nearly blacking out as the intense sensations wash over your entire body. You grab onto his flannel shirt as you fight for your life, your second orgasm so close to breaking that you feel like you’re about to lose control.

“C’mon, give it to me. Let me see you come again, baby,” he coos as he presses down harder onto your throbbing clit, his hand moving side to side faster and faster as you feel your back arch off the velvet mushroom.

It all happens so fast. You let the vibrations buzz through your body, starting at your head that slips slowly down your body as you curl your toes and roll your eyes back. You feel the hot heat start to slide out of you as you release for him, more come pouring out than last time as you feel the ecstasy encase your entire body.

“Oh, that’s a good fuckin’ girl. Goddamn,” he moans as he slows his fingers to gentle strokes and makes sure he works you through your orgasm entirely.

You lay there with half hooded eyes, your fingers still curled around his flannel as you slowly release and drop them down next to you. You feel satiated, satisfied, but yet you still want more.

When he starts to back away, you grab his wrist and prevent him from moving out of your range. “Wait, Joel. I need… want more,” you gasp out, your breath winded and tired as you fight to stay completely in one piece.

He knits his eyebrows together and turns your head to face him, his large fingers cupping your chin as he stares down at you with intense eyes. “You want more?” he asks softly.

“Yes, yes,” you whine out, almost embarrassed by how needy you sound.

He chuckles and shakes his head back and forth. “Think you can handle it, sweetheart? Not too tired?” he asks with a sly smirk as the crow’s feet pull at the corners of his eyes.

He’s so fucking perfect.

“Mm-mm,” you shake your head, your hand reaching for his flannel as he lets you grasp on to him.

“Alright, but you asked for it, darlin’. Gonna give ya what you need,” he smirks as he slowly unbuckles his leather belt, unzipping the zipper of his denim jeans as he slides them and his black briefs down, letting his leaking cock press against his soft tummy.

You gasp at how massive he is, the precum spilling over as you wonder what it tastes like, what it feels like inside you.

He crawls on top of your body, crowding your space as you feel overwhelmed by the smell of his woodsy, pine scent. It intoxicates you, drives you mad as you fist at his flannel shirt, desperate to get him as close as humanly possible without completely jumping into your skin.

“Joel,” you whine, pawing at the flannel material as you beg him to take you.

He cups your chin in his large palm and looks you deep in the eyes. “Relax, sweetheart. Let me give you what you need,” he coos.

He lines up with your entrance as he teases you, sliding the tip of his cock up and down your folds as he collects your slick and his spit, already starting a fire in your core as he brushes past your sensitive clit.

“Fuck,” you hiss as his teasing torments you.

“Mmm, that’s right, gorgeous. Gonna take ya now, gonna make all your worries disappear,” he whispers as he hooks your legs over his shoulders and slides his slippery cock inside you.

Your mind goes numb, your brain stilling as the air seems to shift colorfully around you. It’s like the clouds turn pink, misty blue as colors swirl around your vision, making it look like you’re inside a make believe dream. Ecstasy, blinding pleasure erupts through your body every time he ruts up deeper inside you. His cock thrusting, thrusting, thrusting, so deep that it hits that spot that has your ears ringing with white noise.

He gives, gives, gives himself to you, making you cry out with blissful moans as he bends your knees to your chest and fucks into you deeper, harder than before. The sensation builds, your third orgasm right on the edge every time he gives more of himself to you, ravaging you until you can barely take it anymore.

“You’re so fucking beautiful moaning my name, sweetheart. Squeezin’ me so tight,” he breathes out raggedly as sweat builds against his forehead, making his curls stick together as he breaks the distance and crashes his lips down on top of yours.

The kiss is hungry, needy, starving as your tongue collides with his; his hips rocking back and forth between yours. You taste yourself on him, let the salty, sweet flavor run down your glossy lips as your moans twist together in unison. A sweet melody that fills the air as you get lost in each other’s ecstasy.

He bottoms out in you, thrusting faster and faster until you’re on the verge of tears. You’re so sensitive, your body on the edge of spilling again as you hear the slick slap of skin on skin through the air.

“Joel, I’m gonna… I’m about to…” you cry out as a tear licks at the corner of your eye. You’re not going to last any longer.

“Come for me, baby. Let me feel you,” he coaxes against your lips, his forehead leaning on yours as he speeds up his thrusts. He hits your spongy spot one more time, and that has you clawing the back of his neck as your hands tangle in the hair at the scruff of his neck.

You clench up around his thick cock and then spill all over him, milky hot come leaking down your thighs as he groans against your lips as you echo a low moan back to him.

“Fuck, that’s a good girl,” he praises as he thrusts deeper, deeper, deeper until he’s bottom out time and time again. You’re on cloud nine as you feel his cock drive into you, feel your body go numb against his hold on you as you feel him start to lose control.

“Gonna-fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna-” His mouth drops open and his eyebrows furrow together as he moans out your name, thick ropes of come painting your insides as your eyes roll back at the warm sensation.

He ruts up once more in you, spilling his entire seed as you both breathe in foggy, dense air. Arousal and the smell of sex envelop the wind, blowing down your body as you smell nothing but you and him mixing together to paint the skies red. He takes a minute of just keeping his cock inside you as he runs a hand down your cheek affectionately, warm eyes sinking into yours as his lips curl into the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen.

“Did so good for me, my girl. So good,” he praises as he cups your cheek and plants a gentle kiss across your lips. You drink him down, wanting to remember how he tastes like honeysuckle and sugar cookies. He tastes like something you want to imprint in your memory.

When he releases, he slowly slides out of you. You moan at the loss of him, but he scoops you up in his arms when he lays flat on his back. He feels warm, secure, safe. He feels like someplace you want to stay forever. Your eyelids start to flutter closed, your body unable to stay awake any longer. You’re so tired, so worn out from the sex. You just need to rest a little, let your mind enter into the thick fog.

“Joel, I’m so tired,” you slur as your words start mixing together, your eyelids growing heavy against your eyes.

“Go to sleep, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” he hums out, his strong arms pulling you closer into his chest as you let your mind fade into the darkness. Your vision goes black as you fall asleep instantly, knowing you’re safe in Joel’s arms.

When you start to wake up from your nap, you smell the scent of fresh roses lingering in the air and hear the sounds of cheerful birds chirping in the distance. As you start to shift your body and start to flutter your eyes open, you feel movement underneath you. You feel the broad chest underneath you as he slowly breathes in and out, feeling how warm he is with your fingers tangled in his soft flannel.

When your eyes finally open, he smiles up as you as his fingers rake down your scalp. “There you are, darlin’. Was starting to wonder when you’d wake up. You were out for a couple hours,” he says with a deep, sleepy edge to his voice. He must’ve fallen asleep at some point, too.

You hum out against his chest, your chin laying on his chest as you look up at his warm eyes, those eyes that make you melt with longing. “You just wore me out so much that I couldn’t stay awake any longer. You really know how to get a girl to fall asleep, huh?” you ask with a smile widening on your face.

He laughs and hugs you tighter to him. “Just givin’ ya what you needed, sweetheart. Happy to oblige anytime,” he smirks as you laugh again and shake your head.

You relax against his body as his hand runs gently up and down your scalp, sending you into a trance-like state as you rest your hands under your chin and stare up at him. His eyes are so warm, the smile that’s curled at the corners of his mouth sending sparks down your body. He feels so familiar, like you’ve known him for much longer than a day.

Your eyebrows knit together as you study his features, tracing the lines on his forehead with your eyes as you look deep into those golden brown irises. And something like a flash of lightning hits your mind, a distant memory flashing before your eyes as you go wide-eyed. You do know him. You’ve seen him before. You’ve been here before.

“You… this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you before, is it?” you whisper as your throat runs dry. “I’ve been here before, haven’t I?” You know him. You know him.

He sighs, a held in breath leaving his lips as he smiles affectionately at you. “Yes. You’ve been here before, sweetheart. This isn’t the first time.” It’s like all the weight is emptied from his body as his face relaxes and his chest feels less tense now.

“I knew you all along…” you whisper out incredulously.

“You did, baby. Welcome back. Didn’t know if you’d ever find your way again,” he says sadly as his eye color changes to a somber brown.

“But how did I… how did I even get here?”

“You were drowning, sweetheart. You needed an escape. You unlocked the door. You found us again. We’ve been waiting so long, so very long,” he whispers as he hooks a loose curl behind your ear, his eyes slipping into yours as he rests his forehead on yours, a form of intimacy that feels like home. He feels like home.

You lay there breathing each other’s air like oxygen, your lips tangling against each other as you lap up his honeysuckle taste, burning the taste into your memory as if it’s the most important thing in the world.

After a few minutes of getting lost in each other, he helps you up as you stand firm against the lush green grass. He helps you slide the lace panties back into place, covering your sticky center as you fall back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his broad back.

You hear a faint buzzing a few feet away from you, the sound like white noise in your ears. When you turn, you see an open doorway as painted red roses spill over the dark entryway. Your eyebrows crease together as you look at it carefully. It’s calling to you, almost like it wants you to follow.

Joel sighs, a defeated sound rasping from his throat as he looks at you with sad eyes. “Think it’s time for you to go back, sweetheart,” he huffs, his calloused fingers twisting around yours as he holds you close.

“Go back? But I just got here,” you say with wide eyes, feeling your stomach drop as you take in the meaning of his words.

“I know, darlin’, I know.” His face contorts with agony, his eyes on the verge of falling apart, but he puts himself back together as he cups your chin. “You’re needed back at the party. They’re waiting for you,” he says as you hear the distant noise of champagne glasses and classic music floating through the air. The party, it was still happening?

“But I’ve been here for hours, how is it still going on?” you ask with your nose scrunched up in question.

“Time is different here, it moves slower, much slower than the outside world,” he says as his honey eyes flick to the open door. “Wonderland moves on its own time. Funny thing isn’t it? How time works.”

“Yeah, very strange,” you say with your words drifting off as you stare at the door. The door that’ll take you back to reality, to a place you don’t want to go back to.

He sees your distant glance and pulls your face back to him as he looks distinctly into your glistening eyes. “You need to go back, baby. Go finish the party.” He’s telling you that you need to go, but his hollow words are drifting into the void. He doesn’t want you to go, not really.

“But what if I don’t want to go back…” you say quietly with a locked jaw, tears pricking at the backs of your eyes.

Let me stay. Please, let me stay.

“The door is open, sweetheart. It won’t close again till you go through,” he says with a pained expression, his calloused fingers burning your skin as he glides his fingers over your jawline delicately.

You nod your head slowly, telling him you understand. Your eyes wade into the painted door, but your eyes snap back up to his. “What if I want to come back? How do I come back?”

He smiles down at you as he pulls a chain out of his back pocket, a glistening necklace shining brightly in the sun as he opens up your palm and closes your fingers over it. “With this. This is the key that opens Wonderland. It’s yours now. Anytime you want to come back, all you have to do is ask. Think of me, think of Wonderland and hold the key. The door will open for you. All you have to do is ask.”

You open your palm and trace the edges of the golden key with your fingers, letting the cool metal stain your skin as you see the intricate letters carved into the gold. Wonderland is written in cursive letters on the side as they reflect against the sunlight. Wonderland. The key that’ll take you back to wildflowers, twisting paths, and Joel.

He takes the necklace from your open palm and unlatches it as he circles behind you and places the necklace against your chest. “Hair up for me, sweetheart,” he asks as you quickly oblige. You lift your hair and let him latch the necklace into place as the cool metal key sears into your skin. You lift the key and smile, your whole world now in your hands.

He steps in front of you and cups your chin, letting his thumb trace your bottom lip as his eyes sink deep into your own. “Well, I guess this is goodbye, for now,” you say sadly as you let your hand linger on his flannel, hoping you can stay like this forever instead of going back to your boring dinner party.

“Hey,” he says as he brings your face closer to his, leveling his eyes with yours, “this isn’t goodbye, sweetheart. Not even close.” He leans down and kisses you deeply as you latch onto his flannel, promising yourself that you’ll be back. This isn’t goodbye, it couldn’t be.

He releases your lips and walks you to the door. As you look in, you see the long, lit up hallway that you came from earlier. You can hear the music, hear the muffled voices down the hall as you see fluorescent lights from the ballroom. This was it, you had to go.

Before you step through, Joel grabs your wrist and turns you around to face him. “I had the most perfect day with you, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see those beautiful eyes of yours again,” he says with a curled smile on his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You run your fingers through his tousled curls and hold his gaze just a little longer, memorizing every single golden fleck in his irises as you take in his chocolate eyes. “Thank you for showing me Wonderland again. I can’t believe I forgot. How could I have forgotten you,” you say wide-eyed. You’d never forget him, how did you forget in the first place when he was your favorite thing in the entire world.

“Guess you got lost in the outside world. I’m so glad you found your way back to me, my love.”

My love. The words crash into you like a colliding car crash, hitting your insides with those familiar words that sound like music to your ears. My love.

Before you can question his words, he kisses you gently on the forehead and shoves you through the door as it closes behind you. You end up back in the long hallway as the sound of faded music seeps down the corridor. When you turn back around, there’s no door, only the painted white wall that burns into your eyes. You sigh and turn back around.

When you turn, your breath hitches. In the center of the hanging mirror with gold coated around the winding edges, you see Joel staring back at you. Your eyes widen as you walk up to the clear mirror. He looks like he’s standing right there, as if you can reach him with your mind.

You reach your arm up and place your palm flat against the glass, his hand mirroring yours as you wish with all your might you could just feel his calloused fingers again pressed against your skin. You can’t feel him through the mirror though, he’s only a reflection in the glass that you so want to slip into.

He gives you a small smile as nods his head in the direction of the party. You turn toward the end of the hall, your eyes flicking toward the crowded room as you hear laughs and loud voices carry down the corridor. When you look back to the mirror, you only see your reflection. Joel’s gone. You hold back a tear as you sigh out heavily and turn back around. You guess you have to go back in there.

When you turn from the mirror and start to head down the hall, you gasp as you see a small blue butterfly fluttering its wings on the back of your hand. You take a closer look and go wide-eyed.

“Absolem?” you ask. You see what looks to be a gleam in his eye as he suddenly flies off and disappears into a dark corner of the room. You smile, feeling your insides calm down a bit as a piece of Wonderland slips into the real world. It’s a sign, a promise that you will be back to Wonderland.

You head down the long hallway as your click of your heels echo down the corridor, keeping your wide grin stretched across your face. When you turn into the sea of jewel cladded necks and pressed suits, you can’t help but think of painted roses and honey brown eyes. And it’s then you know you can get through the rest of the evening because you went to Wonderland. Your escape, your dream, your sanctuary.

Wonderland. You’d be back, you just know it.

When you walk back into your cozy apartment and shut the door, you flick on the dim lights and start to walk to your room. You play with the golden key that’s latched around your neck, tracing the smooth edges as your thumb glides across the word Wonderland.

Wonderland. God, you wish you could go back right now. You want to, you need to.

Suddenly, a thousand feelings crash into you all at once. It’s like you get struck by lightning, zapping your brain into a dense fog as if you suddenly wake up from a deep sleep. You remember, you remember it all.

You close your eyes and the vivid pictures paint your mind. You can see you and Joel back in Wonderland painting pictures by the pond, can see yourself tumbling in the wildflowers with him, can taste his sugar coated lips after he fed you a piece of cake, can smell the rose scented air as he told you he loved you that first time in a bed of white and crimson red roses. It wasn’t all a dream. It was real, he is real.

Joel, your love. How could you forget?

When you open your eyes, you jump as you see exactly what you were pining for all evening. Joel. Joel’s leaning against your cream colored walls, his arms crossed over his chest as he smirks up at you with those honey glazed eyes that you can’t get enough of.

“Joel?” you breathe out, your voice cracking as you can’t believe he’s in your room at this very moment.

“Miss me already, darlin’?” he chuckles, his lips coated in warmth as the door to Wonderland stands wide open behind him, different shades of roses and flying butterflies leaking into your dimly lit bedroom.

“How are you here?” you ask amazed as your eyes go wide.

He’s here. He’s here.

“You were calling to me,” he says as he nods to your key hooked around your neck that your finger is still sliding against. “You haven’t even been gone a couple of hours, baby. You missed me that much?” he teases as his laugh fills the room.

“Yes.” You let the key fall back against your chest and run over to him, slamming your body against him as you wrap your arms around him.

“I remember, Joel. I remember it all,” you say out of breath as a tear falls down your cheek. “How could I forget. How could I fucking forget?” you ask wildly as another hot tear runs down your face. You feel his calloused thumb wipe the tears away as he lifts your face up to his.

“It’s alright, baby. It’s all okay now. You just got lost inside the chaos of the outside world. I’m so happy you made it back, my love. I’ve missed you so so much,” he coos as he pulls you into his chest and runs a hand soothingly up and down your back, calming the storm that swirled inside you just seconds ago.

“Take me home,” you beg as you run your fingers through the edge of his scruff, causing him to groan in response.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s go home.” He grabs your hand and pulls you through the wide open door, watching it close tightly behind you as it locks in place and disappears behind a bed of painted white roses.

Joel smiles and pulls you to his chest as he hooks his hands around your hips. “Sweetheart,” he coos as he gently cups the sides of your face and brings his forehead down against yours, “please tell me you’re never leaving again. Stay, stay with me. Stay in Wonderland where you belong. We’ve all missed you so much, but especially me. I’ve waited for your return for so long. I can’t bear to lose you again.”

You smile up at him as you brush your lips over his, breathing in his honeysuckle taste as you nod your head slowly. “I’m never leaving again. Never ever. I’m staying here with the white rabbit, with the Cheshire Cat, with everyone. But most importantly I’m staying with you, my love.” You echo his words of my love back to him as he smiles down at you.

“Welcome home, my love. I’m never letting you go again.”

He crashes his lips down to yours as you melt into his touch, his taste, his scent. You feel the warm air encase you as you get lost in him, in all of him. And you know now that this is where you belong. You belong in Wonderland with Joel.

And so you begin your lifetime full of adventures with the best way you know possible, getting lost in Joel, in your favorite Wonderland.

Tags in case you want to read 🩷: @littlevenicebitch69 @lotusbxtch @keylimebeag @blueseastorm @akah565 @r3dheadedwitch @laurrrra @burntheedges @msjarvis @dugiioh @pedrostories @vee-bees-blog @forgetmenotsexy @copiasghoulfriend @vividispunk @strawberri-blonde @thischarmingmandalorian @sawymredfox @reddedmiller @tuquoquebrute @joelalorian @ozarkthedog @casa-boiardi @morallyinept @kirsteng42 @amyispxnk

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 months

Text

The Farmer's Daughter 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your dad sits in the worn-out recliner, silent as the radio buzzes on an AM station. Your mother places a glass of water next to him but he doesn't acknowledge her. You've never seen him like this. Your dad's always been lively, often talking back to the radio. But now, he's like a shell, just staring.

"The rehab nurse will come tomorrow," your mom nears, "he just needs some rest for now."

You nod and back out of the room, a grim coldness in the air despite the warmth of spring flowing in from open windows. You enter the kitchen as your mother trails after you. Without a word, she flips on the burner beneath the blackened silver kettle. You lean on the square island and trace a finger around a ring in the wood.

"Do they know how it happened?" You ask.

"A clot. They say... things like that are hard to catch," she sniffs, "but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is he's home and alive and... he's going to get better."

"I'm sorry, ma," you frown.

You cup your chin and glance over at the door. When you looked in your father's eyes, it was as if he didn't know you. He just smiled weakly then went back to staring. What happened to man who used to jump down from his tractor to the dismay of his wife?

"We'll have to figure out what to do about the planting," your mother hums and chews her thumb. She pulls her hand away and stretches out her fingers, "Timothy's done a lot but... we'll never catch up at this pace."

"I can help," you offer, "ma, we'll make it work."

"No, I need you in here," she counters, "I'll be taking care of your dad. The hospital gave me all these pamphlets; exercises and all that..." she blows out a heavy breath and flattens her palm to her forehead, "how am I going to do all this?"

"Ma, we'll all help," you offer, "it's okay. We'll be okay. Dad will be okay."

You come around the counter and offer a hug. She latches onto you and rocks you in place. As she holds you, a rumble underlines the chatter on the radio humming from the front room.

You part and look over at the open archway to the hallway. You glance at your mother and give a nod. Visitors already.

You go down to the entry way, wondering where Timothy went. He was just out on the porch fiddling with some car part or another. You open the door and lean back on a heel as Walter greets you with a nod.

"Hey, hope I'm not... imposing."

"Um, dad just got home. He's..." you peek over at the front room, "resting."

"Of course, I figured, I just wanted to drop this off," he holds up the basket in his right hand, "had some extra stuff in my pantry."

"Oh, Mr. Marshall," you accept the basket, "thank you. You didn't have to--"

"Walt," he corrects.

"Walter," your mother's voice carries through the hall as she pads up softly, "oh, Walter, how kind."

She looks at the basket as you grasp the handle and Walter lets it go, the weight nearly bowling you over. You do your best to keep it above ground level.

"Heavy," he warns too late.

"Please, come in," your mother beckons.

"I wouldn't want to disturb him," Walter puts his head down, almost meekly. "Just wanted to bring some stuff."

"No, no, please, I just put the kettle on."

"Uh, alright," he accepts reticently. "Thanks, Maddie."

"Not at all," she assures and turns to sweep back down the hall.

He steps in and bends to untie his stained tan boots. He leaves them on the mat and faces you. You give an awkward smile and take stunted steps with the weighty basket.

"Here," he swipes it back as he catches up to you, "don't hurt yourself."

You let him have it. Your arm hurts. He follows you into the kitchen and places the basket on the island as you round to the other side.

"Black tea?" Your mother offers.

"Sure," he stands sternly, arms straight, stance wide.

She takes down three cups as you languish in radio's buzz. You never said much more than a few words to Walter. Walt. He never says too much either, he was always just a sounding board for your father's yammering.

"God!" The back door swings open and hits the wall, causing you and your mother to yelp as Walter merely looks over dully. Your brother clamours in and skids to a halt.

"Timmy, the floor," your mother reproaches.

"Dang it, sorry ma," he huffs, "I just... the tractor's smoking."

"What?" You and your mother stammer in unison.

"Yeah, black shit all out the exhaust."

"I'll have a look," Walter offers.

"Oh, hey, Walter," Timothy grins dumbly.

"You're so kind, Walter, but we can get Vol down here--"Don't bother with the bill," Walter shrugs off, "I'll get my boots."

Your mother sighs and you shake your head at Timothy. She might just be right. There's no way the three of you can get the spring planting done, especially if he's going to treat the tractor like one of his dinky cars he played with as a kid.

#series #au #backwoods au #walter marshall #dark walter marshall #dark!walter marshall #walter marshall x reader #the farmer's daughter #night hunter #drabble

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ajortga · 4 months

Text

why try?

pairing: tara carpenter x fem reader

based off song request! thank you so much for your requests! many are being looked at now, another 3 are left to write. i'm not very good at song requests and i was actually feeling a little rushed this time, i just wanted to get this out there so i hope this can meet what you may have wanted.

??; was wondering if you’d take a song fic request ? mainly asking because i was listening to why try by ariana grande and i thought it might be good with like tara i think , i hope ,,, im not sure anymore lmfao

You and Tara didn’t meet each other in the best way possible, you met on bad terms, especially since she crashed into you while running and spilt hot coffee on you, screaming an apology as she ran to who knows what class, not even looking back.

For that whole day your white shirt was now a caramel brown, making you a little frustrated.

Tara was walking to her film history class, her hair in a braided half up half down, basically huffing as she opened the door, as she looked for a seat, the only left was a seat one away from the window.

A pretty girl with her headphones in sat next to her, scribbling on her notes and wow, her writing was so neat. It reminded her of the poems that lovers would write to each other in neat curvy lines back in the olden days.

Then she looked down at her sweater, it looked like a coffee stain.

Wait, a coffee stain?

The pretty girl was you, the one she crashed into and accidentally spilt steaming coffee on your sweater while she was running late to her next class, not even being able to make the face as she turned a corner and was gone.

Your gaze shifted from your words to the girl standing in front of you, your warm eyes looking at her, then recognizing Tara as yours narrowed.

“You owe me a new shirt. That was eighty dollars.” You mumble, pointing to the stain on your shirt, your voice soft, but trying to be a little annoyed, sour, and angry, Tara found it adorable.

“I was late to class.” She shrugged, making a small laugh as she sat down.

“That doesn’t mean you can spill your steaming coffee on me, I think I got a rash.” You basically flipped her off without actually flipping her off.

She groaned, “Okay I’m sorry, that must’ve hurt. My name is Tara.”

“Y/N,” you said simply, your voice wispy, sounds like a sweet and pretty sound, Tara could listen to it for hours-

“I’m still mad at you,” You murmur, turning your head away from her as your hair draped over your notes, writing.

She scoffed, a little angry that you weren’t quite talking to her, more like talking to her about the situation that she forgot about.

“Are you always like this?” She said, smiling, a little sarcastically.

“You’re mean Tara,” You turn to her, head laying against your palm. “Can I not be a little upset that you stained my favorite sweater, and basically burned me with your flaming coffee, what a memorable way to know you right? You were already late, why not just take your time?”

Tara huffs, seeing you like a kitten that doesn’t get what they want, saving your sweetness for her and squeezing out a little bitterness. She nudges you on the shoulder, making you shift a little and let out a small quiet giggle.

“Whatever Tickles.”

“Don’t call me that Tiny.”

“Excuse you?”

“Don’t think that teasing won’t jump back at you Tiny Toe Tara!”

“Oh fuck you!” She says sarcastically, “You drive me insane!”

Tara was right, you do drive her insane, but not the way you thought of.

Who would’ve known that her mind was you every night before she went to bed, the way she could feel her cheeks heating when thinking of your face. Your hair. Oh god, please don’t get started with your smile. It drove her crazy, in that way where she has seen your face as you talked to someone, just realizing how much of a listener you are. A good one especially, she sees your eyes as you nod, the way you tilt your head in a conversation, fully immersed.

Tara always wanted to have someone listen to her. She was always listening to others, good listening or not, she never got it back.

There were days where she’d tell Sam the things you did, basically screaming as she says how annoying you are. But at the same time, Sam sees the way Tara’s eyes dilate when she talks about you, gushing all her words at once and scrambling some words.

“She sounds like someone you talk about a lot.”

“Excuse you? She is hot! I mean not!”

“Have you ever seen what she looks like? I think I stare at her too much.”

“Why?”

“Oh pfft, because she’s an atrocious looking pretty looking ogre that I can’t help but feel sorry for how she looks.”

“Pretty looking?”

“Oh yeah. No! You’re getting it all wrong. Pretty looking ogre like her looks pretty like one of an ogre.”

“That’s not what it sounded like.”

You and Tara throw insults at each other, she hates them.

“My Tiny!”

“Tararific!”

You annoyed her to bits, she was annoyed at the fact that she was desperate to see you, to talk to you, to see you smile. She was angry that she just couldn’t hate you. Even with your silly personality, teasing remarks, and playful nudges, there were moments where she saw you being you. Seeing you feed stray cats on the sidewalk when she walked to her apartment, your headphones in as she sees your pretty figure asleep on your desk as you took soft breaths, or the way your eyes are different than any other, different in the way that it was special.

She was so lovesick, but she would go through that phase every time if it meant seeing you for a second.

Why try getting her feelings for you to rip?

Knowing that you could still make her heart skip?..

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #vada cavell x reader #jenna marie ortega #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega x you #tara carpenter x you #jenna ortega x y/n #vada cavell x y/n

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bumblebeesfromvenus · 5 months

Text

Wrapped 🎁

Jason Todd x reader

A/N: another one for Jason!! I love writing for him. I definitely need to do it more. This is the second fic for my Christmas event Fi's Christmas Market ☃️ ! I hope you enjoy some Holly Jason fluff!

~Fi 🐝

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, overall very sweet and domestic! Jason being excited to make fun of Bruce, FLUFF.

Wordcount: 3.3k

Thank you to @certifiedredhoodlover for helping me pick out the presents for Tim and Damian <3

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

"G'morning, Baby," you stirred slightly when his sweet voice softly called out to you. You were firmly in his grasp, your oven of a boyfriend keeping you nice and toasty.

His hands gently stroked along your back while you nuzzled closer to his chest. He was trying to wake you, but his soft touches, cozy heat and comforting voice really weren't helping his efforts.

"Ya need to wake up, sweetheart." The sleep heavy in his voice. His heartbeat was steady, lulling you back to sleep. "Don't wan' to.." you mumbled, scooching impossibly closer.

Jason chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "It's snowing." He whispered, you could hear the smug smile that was probably plastered on his face.

He knew exactly what he was doing when he said those words. He knew how to push your buttons. Your eyes shot open and and clumsily scrambled to sit up.

"What, What, really?" You slurred, rubbing at your eyes. He motioned to the window with his head and his heart melted when your eyes lit up as soon as you spotted the little flakes elegantly cascading from the sky. With a gasp and a sparkle about you, you were on your feet in a second, rushing to the window.

"It is snowing!" You beamed, before turning to him. "We wanted to go holiday shopping today, it's perfect! Come on!" You pulled him out of bed, or at least you tried, and he begrudgingly left his warm sanctuary, whining about the cold. But if he was honest with himself, he'd go out in his pajamas if it made you happy.

Jason dragged his sleepdrunk body to the kitchen for some well needed coffee. You were whirling around the apartment, getting ready and finishing off the shopping list. He finished his coffee and yawned while stretching. You stood in front of him with a shocked expression on your face.

"What are doing? Why are you not ready yet?" The disbelief in your voice made Jason's brows furrow. "Babe, we got up 10 minutes ago. You haven't even had breakfast. We've got the whole day, calm down, okay?" He placed his hands on your cheeks and kissed your nose, which made your face scrunch up in the cutest way possible. Your narrowed your eyes at him and walked to the fridge without breaking eye contact.

"You have 30 minutes, Mister." He shook his head at you when you stuffed a piece of toast in your mouth and washed it down with Jason's coffee. "Wha- Hey, that was my coffee!" He exclaimed, taking the mug away from you.

"30 minutes!" Your voice came out muffled, courtesy of the piece of bread, as you made your way to the living room to wait for him on the couch.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You were scrolling on your phone, looking for some of the gifts you knew you wouldn't be able to get in store. He came into the livingroom, grabbing his keys and phone.

"Alright, you got your list?" Jason clapped his hands together, resulting in you looking up at him. You let out a gasp of awe when you saw him. You'd bought him a red beanie for the cold seasons but he never wore it, until today that is. He always refused, reasoning he didn't get cold and he'd look ridiculous. It was quite the opposite.

"You're wearing it! Oh my god, you look so cute!" You beamed, practically jumping from your seat on the couch, grabbing his face and peppering kisses over his cheeks.

"You look adorable, I could literally eat you!" You laughed between kisses, his face squished in your glove clad hands. "Babe, it's just a hat." He stated, albeit a little muffled as your hands were still firmly planted on his cheeks.

"I know, but it looks so good on you! Your white streak is peaking out, and it makes you look like a candy cane!" You squealed. No matter how hard you'd tried, you couldn't keep in your excitement. His brows furrowed at your statement as he grumbled quietly, but you could feel his face heating up even underneath your gloves.

"'M not a candy cane..." he mumbled, lightly offended. Well, actually, very offended. A pout settled on his lips.

"You are, but you're my candy cane, and only mine." You whispered with a sweet grin on your face, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before elegantly twirling out of his embrace to check your bag one last time. Jason smirked, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against the counter.

"If me wearing a hat gets you like that, I wonder what else I could wear..." he pondered, stroking his chin. "I guess you'll have to find out." You said with a cheeky smile.

"Are you ready? Let's go," you held out your hand to him, and he took it in his in the blink of an eye.

Jason loved holding your hand. It was his favorite thing to do, no matter where you were or what you were doing, his hands would be touching yours in some kind of way. He would play with your fingers when watching TV or reading. It was mostly subconscious, but it was a cute habit.

"Are you sure we can't take the car? It's freezing outside!" He reasoned, keeping you in your place when you wanted to step out the door. "But it's snowing! And you're basically a walking furnace, you'll be fine!"

"If I get a cold, you're taking care of me." He grumbled before letting himself be dragged out the door by you.

Jason truly was a man of mystery to you. He wouldn't give a shit when he'd be shot and bleeding out, but god forbid he got a cold. He acted like the world was ending or he was dying. You did enjoy doting on him and taking care of all his needs but his very dramatic 'This is it. This is my end!' talks made you roll your eyes.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You walked through the nicely decorated streets, the snowflakes falling from the sky and covering Gotham as well as yourselves in a powdery blanket. Glancing over to your boyfriend, you couldn't help but giggle. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold, matching his beanie. He had his shoulders pulled up a little, trying to cover some of his face with his scarf.

Your hands were still intertwined and shoved into his jacket pocket. He wiggled his mouth free from his cozy scarf.

"What's on your list, sweetheart?" He asked, his warm breath turning into a small cloud in the chilly air.

★

You were sitting at your kitchen table, the blank piece of paper that should've been a list by now starring you mockingly in the face. You sighed, resting your chin in your hands. "I don't know what to get them, Babe."

Jason was cuddled up on the couch, book, and tea in hand. "Doesn't really matter that much." He muttered, all of his attention on the book as his eyes were glued to the pages. "Yes, it does!" You argued,"It's Christmas. What are you getting them?" He took a sip of his tea, still captured by his book. "My presence at the dinner table, and if they're lucky, a hug."

You rolled your eyes. "You're not helping." You grumbled, your head falling forward onto the table. You'd been at this stupid list for weeks, but you couldn't come up with a single idea what to get them. Especially his younger brothers, Tim and Damian. You'd barely seen them, so picking a present that was useful and enjoyable for them was proving to be a real struggle.

"It really doesn't matter that much, I mean it. You could get each of them a card that says 'I'm proud of you' and they'd cry. So, it's your pick, really." He shrugged, flipping to the next page. You sighed again, closing your eyes. At this rate, you'd maybe get them a present next Christmas.

"I want to get them something personal, Jay. Something that means something to them."

Jason looked at you this time, his gaze over the top of his reading glasses.

"My point still stands."

You groaned, sagging into your chair. "Why is your family so difficult?!" You complained, sitting back up properly as you started to scribble some things down on the paper.

"Trauma." His response was blunt, his eyes were back on the book, his mind in whatever fantasy world he was reading about.

"Right."

You watched him for a little while. Calm breaths, the occasional grin or raise of his brows. "What's so interesting in that book, huh? Barely looked at me when we were talking."

"Hm?," his head turned towards you, obviously not listening to you. "Oh, sorry, s'Mister Darcy." You made an approving noise. "Carry on." Who could resist Mister Darcy? Not even Red Hood could, it seemed.

★

"Well," you began, pulling out the little piece of paper from your bag,"for Dick, I want to go to the record store and see if I can find him something new, preferably vintage. Alfred desperately needs a new apron, and I saw one a couple of weeks ago that'd be perfect for him. Tim gets a coupon to get the Manor for himself for an entire day-" Jason's brows furrowed, and he interrupted you.

"How the hell are you gonna achieve that?"

"You do what I say, Alfred would gladly do me a favor, and I think Bruce is secretly a little scared of me and I will use that to my advantage. And Damian.. I haven't thought that one out yet. I'll bribe him somehow. I think he likes me more than he let's on." You laughed.

He looked quite impressed before a smile settled on his lips. "You're a brilliant woman, do you know that?" He pressed a kiss to your temple, smiling against your skin.

"Thanks, Baby. You tell me everyday." You giggled, looking up at him. It surprised you haven't run into anything or anyone yet, your eyes were on Jason like he was the only one in the world. And he was, at least for you.

"I do? Well, I'll keep doing it." The smile he gave you was so soft, something only you got to see. "Damian gets a Katana with a burgundy handle. We have to pick it up from the jeweler, I had them engrave Titus on the blade." You continued, folding over the top of the list, which peaked Jason's interest.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Why did I do what?"

"That sneaky fold over." He pointed to the list.

"Oh, well, that's your present. Don't want you seeing what it is yet," you grinned, making him pout.

He let out a small huff, eyeing the piece of paper in your hands before trying to snatch it away from you. You quickly pulled it out of his reach and stuffed it back into your bag.

"Hands off!" He grumbled quietly under his breath but quickly let it go when you reached your first stop.

You looked through the dozens and dozens of boxes filled with record vinyls, trying to find the perfect one for Dick. The poor lighting and overcrowded aisle didn't help your cause. You did have to give credit to the interior design, it looked like it came straight from the 70s. You were basically digging for gold at this point, and gold did you find.

You'd picked out an original 'A Night at the Opera' vinyl by Queen, and you'd also found 'Crises' by Mike Oldfield and you decided to get both, hoping Dick would like them. Jason assured you that he would as his older brother adored you. He'd said you were a fresh breeze to the family, and he already loved you just for making his little brother happy.

He was the first to really trust and hang out with you, easing your nerves about fitting into the family. You could already see Dick and yourself jamming out to the tunes together.

The next stop was Home Depot. You'd gone there for a new whisk and a set of kitchen towels and had spotted the perfect gift for the resident Butler of Wayne Manor. It was a little cheesy, you had to admit, but you had a feeling Alfred would really enjoy this gift.

"They have to be here somewhere, I know they are.." you mumbled, searching around in the kitchen section. "Aha! There they are." You pulled Jason with you towards the back, and he had to be careful to not knock over any of the ceramic decor pieces.

"Jeez, why are these aisles so small.." he tried to make himself as small as possible, not only that but he had to keep the shopping back from the record store in mind as well. He couldn't really complain about that though, as he insisted on carrying it for you.

You held up the navy apron to show him the embroidery on the front. It said 'King of the Kitchen' and it had a little crown on top of it as well. "He's gonna take that to his grave." Jason grinned, before breaking into a laugh at the apron. "It's perfect, isn't it? I immediately thought of him when I saw it." You joined your lover, laughing in the back of the kitchen section, earning a stern look from a bypassing lady.

You stood in line at the register in the craftstore after having picked out some nice paper, sparkly pens, some stencil cutters, and a little bit of glitter for Tim's present.

"Don't know if Tim is fan of glitter." Jason said, looking into your little shopping basket. "Well, I am, so he's gonna have to deal with it." You huffed, moving further in line. He put his hands up defensively, as much as he could at least, since he was carrying the bags, and moved with you.

"What about B?" He questioned.

"I'm making him a card. It's gonna be an 'I'm proud of you' card." You sighed, not feeling to great about your choice of present for Bruce. Jason's eyes widened.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah. I mean, what the fuck do you get a billionaire? Especially someone like Bruce. I just took your advice." You joked, bumping him with your elbow.

"I'm so gonna film that."

"Jason-"

"Nope, you can't stop me. Consider it a present from myself to myself."

You shook your head at him and sighed, but he definitely caught the smile that you were trying to hide. It would definitely be a memorable Christmas.

The last stop, thankfully, was the jeweler. Jason had been ready to go home 3 hours ago. The amount of people, crowded stores, and the bright lights were starting to overstimulate him.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up the Katana I had engraved." You smiled kindly at the woman behind the desk.

"Ah yes, and the neckl-" she began but you quickly cut her off with a finger to your lips and a motion to Jason with your head. He wasn't supposed to know wou were picking up his present too. The woman smiled knowingly and went into the back to get your orders.

You tapped your fingers against the counter as you were waiting. You glanced over to Jason, who was grinning like an Idiot. He knew that whatever it was that the woman was talking about was his present. You narrowed your eyes at him.

"You didn't see or hear anything, got it?" You said firmly, earning an even wider grin from Jason.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Good."

The woman came back with a small bag and the Katana in hand. "It didn't fit in a bag." She chuckled nervously.

"No worries." You replied kindly, taking it from her, same with the small shopping bag. You pulled back the Saya and looked approvingly over the engraving of Titus at the base of the sword.

"Wow, that's amazing." He marveled, looking over your shoulder.

"Damian is so gonna cry." He giggled mischievously.

"Christmas is gonna be great this year." He grinned, making you sigh. There was no talking him out of teasing both Bruce and Damian. You could've definitely tried harder if you didn't enjoy it at least a little bit.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You were now back out in the cold, walking home after a successful shopping day. The small bag was securely in your hand, keeping it away from Jason. He couldn't stop eyeing it, though. Desperately wanting to know what was inside. You were just as excited to show him as he was to see, it was challenge trying to keep it a secret from him.

It was a gold chain with a pendant. The pendant almost looked like a coin, on one side your names were engraved with a little heart and the words 'forever and always'. On the other was a red Aster flower. You didn't just pick any flower, it had a meaning. It meant undying devotion. You wanted Jason to have the reassurance of your love and loyalty with him whenever he wore it, which you hoped would be everyday.

It was even more special since only the two of you would know what it meant. The language of flowers was something you were both interested in, having read books about it together. You had used it a few times when visiting the Manor, loving the confused looks of everyone, except Alfred who was quite the flower enthusiast himself.

Jason was talking to you about a couple of new books he wanted to get, which you'd obviously already stored in the back of your closet, waiting to be wrapped, when a little cart selling hot chocolate caught your eye.

"Can we get some hot chocolate, please?" You asked excitedly, already dragging him in the carts direction. "Baby, I'm tired, can we just make some at home?" You could tell he was exhausted, social interactions weren't easy for him, for either of you really. But the intoxicating smell of rich chocolate and whipped cream had taken over your senses, clouding your brain.

"Pleaseeee? It'll be quick, I promise! We'll cuddle for the rest of the evening, okay?" You pleaded, making your best doe eyes at him. He sighed and tried looking away from you as not to fall for your sweet look. He could never deny you anything. It might not be the healthiest of habits, but god, did he love spoiling you.

"Fine. But," he held up his finger,"only if I get head scratches as well."

"Deal!" You agreed quickly, pulling him to stand in line. It was going to be such a nice evening. Jason couldn't wait to be all cuddled up with you, your fingers gently running through his hair. He was going to heaven. You were his heaven.

Here you were, happily sipping on your hot beverage as Jason looked at you adoringly. "Thanks for the hot cocoa, Jay." You smiled, blowing on it to not burn your mouth.

"Of course, Princess. Here, let me get that for you." Your brows furrowed in confusion at his statement. He swiped his thumb over your lip, getting the bit of whipped cream off. His tongue went to his thumb and licked the cream off, and he hummed.

"Delicious." He smirked, making you grin. "If you wanted a taste, you could've asked." You smiled, pulling him down into a kiss by his scarf. He melted against your lips, making sure to mind your drink when he wrapped his arms around you.

The streets were lit up festively, the snowing was still falling gently, and you were here with your hot chocolate in hand and your lips on his. He was really glad he decided to stop for the hot cocoa. As if he had the strength to ever deny you anything.

He was under your spell and would do anything you'd asked of him. He was infatuated with you. He loved you. More than he could ever tell or show you.

Just like the presents under the tree, you've got him wrapped.

#bumblebeesfromvenus #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #jason todd x reader #jason todd #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood #FI'S CHRISTMAS MARKET ☆

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