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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

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On the Run - Chapter 1

Story Summary: Being the daughter of wealthy socialite Philip Blake, the man running for governor, has its advantages but when someone tries killing Y/N in order to get to her father, Y/N finds herself on the run and entangled in a web of mystery and romance with her professor Joel Miller and her bodyguard Negan Smith.

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47007172/chapters/118420453

Warnings: Swearing, angst, smut, abuse of power between a professor and a student, etc.

Notes: I'm doing another crossover with Joel Miller and Negan Smith. This is very alternate universe and will feature characters from both The Last of Us and The Walking Dead. I already have a lot of the story written so I will try to update it as frequently as possible.

As always Y/N ='s your name or whatever name you want to use for this story. Thanks for checking it out.

Silence. It was something that so many people longed for and enjoyed, but for Y/N it was miserable. Sitting alone in the large dining room waiting for her father to make his presence was something she did frequently. And every time she did, she never felt more alone in her whole life. It was so quiet that the ticking sounds from the grandfather clock in the other room was heard and it was driving her crazy. This was how it always was. So many of her friends told her that she was lucky to have a rich father. A father who gave her access to whatever money she wanted and allowed her to do anything she pleased. While it sounded nice on the outside it was actually a very lonely life.

When Y/N was a child, her mother had abandoned her and her father. At the time Y/N didn’t understand it but as she grew older, she didn’t blame her. She just wished sometimes that her mother would have taken her along. Y/N’s father was Philp Blake. A powerful man with a whole lot of money to control whatever the hell he wanted, but it was clear most of her life that being a father was never something he wanted. The lack of presence from her father was always very evident in her life. He was always busy at work or away on trips leaving her alone with a lot of the workers that he hired to watch over her. If anything she was more of an annoyance to her father. A thorn in his side. For a while he wanted her to follow in his footsteps and take over the family business, but her interest was in other things. It was her final year in college and her father made it exceedingly clear that he hated the direction her life was going in. Threatened her that once she was done with school if she didn’t do what he wanted with the family business he would cut her off completely, but truthfully? She didn’t give a shit. So because of that, she was living it up now while she could. She had complete access to his money and could do anything she wanted so she was. Her father was too busy with running for the position of governor in the state that they were living in to even notice anyways. It was almost a fuck you to him.

Shifting in her seat, she reached for her phone to pull it out and look at it. If her father was going to take any longer, she would have to be rushing to class and she hated that. She liked getting to everything early, but her father was the type to make others wait for everything. What was worse about today was that it was her birthday and she knew that he wouldn’t be doing anything special for it. In fact, that’s probably why he was making her wait longer than normal.

When the sound of footsteps finally started to fill the air, she set her phone down on the table and lifted her eyes to see her father entering the room with an arrogant smug over his features. He definitely knew it was her birthday and that’s why he made her wait.

“Y/N,” her father sat, his eyes gazing out at her when he got comfortable in the seat across from her at the large dining room table. “I’ve had them start breakfast for us.”

“I’m not going to be able to have it. I have classes to get to,” she informed him with a smirk, looking to her phone to see that she didn’t have much time left until she had to leave. “So what’s the plan for tonight?”

“I have a fundraiser tonight,” he remarked with a huff, his eyes surveying her over closely. “You can be late to your classes. I should be having breakfast with my daughter on her birthday.”

“Oh, so you do remember my birthday?” she feigned being shocked placing her hand over the center of her chest. Of course he would want her late for her classes because he hated what she was doing to begin with. “Here I was thinking you forgot.”

“Would you ever let me forget?” his southern drawl rumbled making her roll her eyes and shake her head. “I heard you had a party planned for tonight.”

“Oh yeah. Huge one. Everyone is coming here and we are going to celebrate out back. Lots of people, lots of noise and lots of alcohol,” she emphasized her words, her eyes narrowing out at her father when he let out an amused breath. “So you don’t have to worry about me embarrassing you at that fundraiser. I’ll be home embarrassing you in other ways.”

“I don’t care what you do as long as you stay out of the media. Enjoy it now while you can because this is your last year to do so before I cut you off. You’re twenty-three now. I think it’s about time you started taking care of yourself, don’t you? Since you’re so hell bent on not being part of the family business,” he almost mocked her seeing the way that she shook her head with his response. “Architecture? I can’t believe my own daughter is that boring.”

“Sorry to let you down pops,” she threw her hands up in the air and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m very much aware that I’ve been a constant embarrassment to you since I was born. We all know you wanted a boy.”

“I did,” he agreed with her nodding his head slowly. “Yet here you are. I’m sure if I had a son, he wouldn’t be turning his back on me going into something as useless as architecture. What a waste of a life and job.”

“Well I do like to waste time, just like I did this morning here waiting for you,” she gave him back the attitude making him let out a muted laugh that made her throat tense. “I’m glad I got to share my morning with you for my birthday. It was actually surprising to see you on this birthday compared to the last…how many birthdays have you missed again?”

“Always with the attitude,” he shook his head and sighed loudly, reaching out to place his hand over the center of the table. “When was the last time your mother contacted you again for your birthday? In fact when was the last time your mother contacted you at all?”

His arrogant, smug smirk made her curl her fist up and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest, “Your silence tells me everything. I imagine you at least bought yourself a fine gift for your birthday with the money I freely let you use.”

“Absolutely,” she snorted hating that his comment about her mother was able to actually upset her as much as it did. He wasn’t wrong. Her mother wanted nothing to do with her father and that’s why she ran off. But in running off, she wrote off Y/N too and that left Y/N parentless in a fashion. “You still keeping an eye on mom?”

“Are you asking me if I know where your mother is?” he questioned watching her nod and he threw his hands up in the air. It pissed her off that her father constantly threw it in her face that he knew where her mother was, but he’d never let her know. It had been so long since she had seen her mother that she felt like seeing her mother again would do nothing for her. At this point she was angry with her mother for leaving her all alone with her father. “I do.”

“And you won’t tell me, right?” she confirmed with her father hearing him chuckle under his breath and slide in closer to the table when one of the workers he had hired to work around the house came in with a tray of food for him.

“Why would I do that?” he blurt out with a tip of his head. “Your mother wants nothing to do with you. Why would you even be interested in finding out where she is? It’s not like she’s going to accept you back with open arms. You’re as good as dead when it comes to your mother.”

“Right,” she stood up from the table and stopped before leaving standing in the doorway. “Since I’m as old as I am and you’re ready to write me off completely as soon as I’m out of college, can I finally be allowed to leave without having your men tailing me?”

“Come on,” her father scoffed grabbing a berry from his plate and taking a big bite of it. “You know why I have you followed.”

“So I don’t embarrass you?” she saw her father’s head of security walking into the dining room with them, pulling up a seat beside her father at the table. “Good morning, Simon. I’m sure I’ll be seeing plenty of you and your men tonight, huh?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Simon winked, stroking his fingers over his graying mustache that looked like that of a villain in a cartoon.

“I’m going,” she announced pointing toward the door and Simon dramatically waved at her making her feel furious when she turned on her heel to leave. It was a useless meeting with her father and she didn’t understand why she waited for him anyways.

Instead of focusing on it though, she went to her classes and concentrated solely on those. None of her friends were in the same program as her so it made it easy to focus on what needed to be done with her schooling during the day. She knew that some of her friends would make a big deal about it being her birthday so avoiding them until later was a good idea.

The day went by quickly and by the time she got to her last class, she had her phone sitting on top of the desk before her. It was buzzing relentlessly and she knew that it was people getting excited about the big party for tonight. Instead of giving it attention, she just let it go until the professor standing at the front of the room turned to face her.

“Could you silence that damn thing?” he requested, his chocolate brown eyes locking with hers when she looked to her phone that was on top of her desk. With a smirk, she nodded and reached to turn her phone on silent when he shook his head. “You know in most cases I would have no problem throwing someone out of my class for interrupting it.”

“It won’t happen again Mr. Miller. It was an accident,” she assured him with a wicked smirk seeing the way that his eyebrows furrowed while he stared out at her and tugged at his plaid, button down shirt he was wearing in a nervous motion. “You know how much I love this class. You have my full attention. It was an accident.”

“I’ll let you off this time, but the next time I’m throwing you out,” he threatened, stroking his hand down over the facial hair that was over his jawline. With a shake of his head, he went back to teaching leaving her somewhat amused over their interaction. By the end of class her professor was seated at the edge of his desk with his arms folded out in front of his chest. “Ms. Y/N, please come to my office after class. We need to discuss something about your last project.”

“What about it?” she reached for her bag and threw it over her shoulder seeing him tip his head to the side. “Was it bad?”

“We need to discuss some things about your work,” he reiterated and moved out of the class leaving her standing at her desk with a smirk. Heading out of the lecture hall, she let out a gasp when she saw her best friend standing and waiting outside of the room for her.

“Poppy. What are you doing here?” Y/N clung tightly to her bag watching her best friend grip to her books and bounce in the position that she was in. Poppy’s blonde hair that was tied up wiggled with the movements and her green eyes glistened with excitement. “I have to go talk to my professor about something.”

“Oh! Come on! It’s your birthday and we have a party to plan!” Poppy’s squeaky voice boasted making Y/N smile.

“It is my birthday, but the party is already planned all out. All you have to do is meet me there tonight,” she reminded her friend making a frown expand over her features. “I have to deal with classes first. I will call you when I’m out of the meeting.”

“You should just ditch your professor Y/N, he works you too hard,” Poppy declared with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’ll be waiting for you babe.”

“Looking forward to it,” Y/N winked heading through the hallways to the office where she knew she would find Professor Miller. Standing in the doorway, she knocked on it when she saw that he was sitting at his desk looking at something with his laptop. When he heard her knock, she watched his brown eyes lift to stare out at her and she smiled. “You wanted to see me?”

“Close the door,” he instructed waving her into the office when he pushed his seat back and away from the desk. Listening to his order, she did what he asked and pulled her bag in closer to her body. “You left your phone out on your desk to annoy me today and I know you did.”

“Why would I ever do something like that Joel?” she placed her hand in over the center of her chest and feigned being innocent in the moment. “I’m your best student. Why would I purposely go out of my way to upset you? I don’t want you to punish me and give me a bad grade…”

With a rumble, Joel stood up from his seat and started to make his way around the table and she dropped her bag at her side, “Well, I may want you to punish me. I just don’t want you to give me that bad grade.”

“You’re a bad girl,” he rumbled reaching out to hook his arm around her waist to pull her in flush against him making her smile when she braced her hand in over the center of his chest. “You’re lucky it’s your birthday because I would spank you if it wasn’t.”

“Please do Professor Miller,” she purred biting at her bottom lip in a seductive manner seeing his eyelids heavy with want and lust while she stroked her fingers up and over the side of his neck. “It is my birthday after all.”

“You are going to be the death of me,” Joel slurred lowering down to claim her lips with his in a forceful sweep that left her melting in against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around her. With a growl, he bit at her bottom lip giving it a small tug before staring down at her. “You’re lucky I like you so much because I could have thrown you out of class today and avoided your birthday completely. I can’t play favorites you know.”

“Oh, I’m your favorite?” she teased him, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt to get him to kiss her again. Her lips parted allowing the warmth of his tongue to brush out against hers making her purr when they separated.

“You know you are,” Joel whispered, his thumb dragging out over her bottom lip and the warmth of his breath over her skin drew chills down her spine. “You are so beautiful. You know that?”

“Aw, Joel. Winning me over with your words. Just like you always do,” she muttered sliding her hand up to pluck open the top button of his plaid button down. “I do kind of want you to punish me for my birthday though. Remind me not to be a bad girl.”

“Well, if you insist,” Joel smirked grabbing a firm hold of her and leading her over toward his desk. Forcing her down over the top of it, he placed his hand firmly over the back of her neck and squeezed at it before dragging it down between her shoulder blades and over her spine. It made her let out a shuddering breath and he smiled. “You need to be more careful in my classes. Obviously, I’m going to like you because you’re my best student, but you make things too obvious and that is risky.”

“No one is going to know that we are fucking,” she looked back over her shoulder at him, wincing when he used his other hand to force her to put her head back down over his desk. “I wouldn’t want anyone to know about our relationship because I don’t want to ruin your job for you. You know I like our relationship. I don’t want to lose it.”

“Then you need to be a good girl and do as I say,” he responded sliding his palm in over her full bottom, squeezing it firmly before giving her bottom a firm smack. Arching forward, she purred out only to feel him reaching for the back of her pants. Pulling them down, Joel took her panties with the movement getting the material to her thighs. “You want to be a bad girl for your birthday?”

“I want to be your bad girl,” she slurred feeling the warmth of his palm caressing over her flesh making her bite down on her bottom lip. Purposely she added emphasis to the word your, knowing that she just wanted to be this way for him. After his soothing caress she felt him smack down over her ass making her whimper out. “Harder.”

“Harder?” Joel repeated her request, his southern drawl getting her hotter with the way he continued to caress over her tender flesh. Arching her back, she felt a stronger smack over her bottom making her cry out with the burning sensation it left over her flesh. Another firm spank followed and then another making her coo out and she felt a damp heat at her core. Joel’s hand caressed over the fleshy part of her ass before sliding between her thighs to trace his rough fingertips over the length of her sex. Teasing her with the idea of his fingers, he traced them over her sensitive lips before circling his index finger over her entrance. It made her hips arch up and a tsking sound fell deep from within his throat. “Sit still.”

“Joel,” she mewled out his name when he sank his fingers inside of her taking his time to thrust his finger in gradual strokes having the movements slowly grow stronger in strength. It made her close her eyes tightly, her head tipping back when he growled in response.

“You are so fucking wet. The spanks really did you in, didn’t they?” Joel teased her, inserting another one of his thick fingers into her warmth making her shudder beneath him. The plunges of his fingers inside of her made her heart hammer inside of her chest and she felt her pulse jumping in her throat. Before she could begin to enjoy the pleasure he was drawing out inside of her, he was pulling his fingers from her body and she whined. Looking over her shoulder she watched Joel bringing his fingers to his mouth to take them between his lips. Sucking at the taste of her over his flesh, Joel smirked when he saw the lust in her eyes while she stared out at him. “Head down.”

“Joel,” she pouted seeing him snap his fingers and she did as he ordered of her. Lowering her head, she stretched her hands out and curled her fingers around the edge of the desk. Joel stepped in behind her and she felt the denim of his pants rubbing up against her making her hum out with the friction it caused. Beneath his jeans she could feel him hard while he rubbed himself against her bottom. “Was your cock hard in class?”

“With you sitting in front row, my cock is always so hard,” Joel responded, biting down on his bottom lip while he rubbed himself up against her bottom. “Moving you to the back so I don’t have to sit down all the time would probably be a good idea. Don’t you think?”

“But I want to be able to look at you. We don’t have much time left with me in your class,” she whined when he pulled his hips and moved away. Going to lift up, she felt him pressing into the center of her back to keep her in place.

“Remember, you do as I say,” Joel demanded stepping in front of her at the other side of the desk. Joel started to pull open the belt in his jeans making her lift her head up to look up at him with big eyes. Licking her lips, she saw his dark eyes locked on her. Getting his jeans open, he pushed the material to the side and reached to pull down the front of his boxers making his cock spring out before her. Her throat went dry from the position she was in watching Joel’s thick fingers curl around his cock to stroke it firmly in his grasp. It drew attention to the swollen tip making her wet her lips. Stepping as close as he could to the edge of the desk, Joel hooked his fingers into her hair to get her to lift her head a bit further while his other hand led his cock toward her mouth. Teasing the tip of it across her bottom lip made Joel smirk when she whined knowing that he wasn’t allowing her to take him into her mouth yet. “You would do just about anything for me, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” she slurred against his flesh, parting her lips just enough for her to kiss at the tip making Joel’s jaw flex in response. “Anything you want…it’s yours.”

“Good girl,” Joel pressed his hips forward watching her kiss further at the tip before dragging her tongue out across the top collecting the taste of him at the slit. “Go ahead…”

Taking his cock into the warmth of her mouth made Joel tip his head back and moan, his fingers hooking tighter into her hair while she lapped at the head of his cock with her tongue before lowering her head over his length. It made Joel bite into his bottom lip and he dropped his head to make sure to watch her while she gave him a blowjob. Her eyes were closed for a short amount of time, so entirely focused on giving him what he wanted.

“Open your eyes,” Joel ordered with a scoff watching her do what he asked of her, fluttering her eyelashes when she looked up at him. Starting to thrust his hips, Joel sank his length further down her throat time and time again. The wet slurping sounds filled the office surrounding them while he had his way with her. Doing her best to relax her throat, she was allowing him to use her in any way he wanted making his quiet moans fill the air. Yanking back on her hair, Joel pulled her mouth from his length enjoying the way she stared up at him when he wrapped his fingers back around his saliva covered length. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll be thinking of me all the way throughout your party tonight. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Professor Miller,” she swallowed down hard, her wet lips shining when he smirked down at her. “I’m yours to do whatever you want with me.”

“Good girl,” Joel moved around the desk, reaching for her pants to roughly tug them further down her legs. Kicking her feet apart, he moved in behind her and stroked over his body noticing the way that she shook at his closeness. “Do you think you deserve a nice present before I get what I want from you?”

“Please,” she begged, her fingers curling tighter around the edge of the desk feeling Joel kneeling down behind her. Dragging his fingers across her bottom led her to pant before he firmly smacked over the lower part of her ass again making her cry out.

“You’re my bad girl, aren’t you?” Joel hummed caressing his hands down over her thighs squeezing at her flesh before caressing back up over them again. “Say it.”

“I’m your bad girl,” she whispered whimpering out when she felt Joel’s warm breath hovering over the most intimate parts of her. “I’m yours…”

“Yes, you are,” he growled out, pressing a wet kiss over her core making her tense up. Closing her eyes, she felt Joel’s mouth kissing over her heated flesh before dragging his tongue out through her folds. Gasping, she enjoyed Joel’s tongue teasing long lines from her clitoris to her entrance and it made her rock back against his movements. The sounds Joel made while he ate her out were like music to her ears and it turned her on all the more. When his tongue focused at her entrance it made her whimper out and the sensation of his hot tongue pushing inside of her made her coo. The movements of his tongue along with the suction of his lips over her body had her shaking against him and he chuckled against her flesh. “You’re not being quiet.”

“You don’t want me to be quiet,” she gasped when his tongue started to lap at her body again knowing that he was proud of what he was able to work out of her. Her breaths were uneven when she felt her thighs shaking. “Joel.”

A warmth rushed throughout her body, her eyes slamming shut when Joel got her to an orgasm making her whole body tremor. Without giving her time to come down from her high, Joel swiftly got up to his feet and grabbed a firm hold of her hips. Bringing her back against him, he reached between them and led his cock to her entrance thrusting his hips forward filling her completely making her arch up and away from him with a cry.

A moan fell from Joel’s throat while his thrusts started off immediately fast and hard making her cling tightly to the desk. His fingertips were digging hard into her hips undoubtedly going to leave a mark with how strongly he was holding onto her. Taking a moment to adjust, Joel pushed his pants and boxers down to his knees before he started smacking up against her harder. She was on her tiptoes, her body eagerly rocking back against him while he fucked her.

“You feel so good,” she cried out, her gasps filling the air with every powerful thrust that Joel made inside of her from behind. His grunts followed his thrusts and he already had her a shaking mess beneath him. With a huff, Joel adjusted her body to his liking and he leaned in over her. His fingers wrapped around the edge of the desk to give him leverage to help pound himself into her again and again. The desk was shaking with how hard he was fucking her and he wasn’t kidding when he told her that he was going to fuck her so hard that she would be feeling him later. “Joel.”

“Shhh…” Joel hummed biting at her earlobe enjoying the wet sounds their bodies made together. Releasing the desk with his left hand, he sank his fingers into her hair and put a bit of pressure at the beck of her neck while he continued to pound into her with unrelenting movements. Joel’s moan drew a liquid fire to flood her veins and she could feel a dampness sliding down her thighs. “You’re tight little pussy belongs to me, doesn’t it?”

“It’s only yours,” she declared, her whines following his movements. His fast fucking turned to slow, powerful thrusts that had her bouncing forward with every smack his hips made up against her bottom. Joel was using her like his own personal sex doll, but she didn’t care because she liked being made to be his. Winces fell from her throat with the meticulously powerful thrusts. His cock was throbbing inside of her and by the sounds he was making she knew that he was close to coming. Soon he was back at pounding away inside of her, his moans warm against her ear when his movements slowed down. Joel held her in place with his cock twitching inside of her, while he pumped her full of his cum. Joel pulled back and away from her, falling back onto the leather chair that was behind him where students would come to sit if they were really coming to his office to talk to him. Closing her eyes, she felt like the room was spinning around her. The warmth of Joel’s cum trailing down her thigh was felt when she looked back at him over her shoulder. Standing up on wobbly legs, she kicked out of the material of her pants and moved in over Joel in the chair. Grabbing a hold of his cock, she led it back inside of her, bouncing her hips over his length making him grunt. “Make me come…”

“Who says you deserve it?” Joel growled out, lifting his head up enough to meet her in a sloppy kiss, but instead of fighting her on it, his rough fingertips found her clitoris caressing over the sensitive bundle of nerves in strong, circular motions while she bounced her hips over his length. It didn’t take long before she tossed her head back letting out a cry. It allowed him to kiss down over the side of her neck and leave tiny bites over her flesh along the way. Y/N fell in against his chest and rest her head against Joel’s shoulders while his hand braced in over her lower back. “You’re wild darlin’.”

“I just had to get a ride in on my cowboy before we ended this,” she felt his cock softening inside of her and she pulled her hips up and away, but still remained over him enjoying the way it felt being this close to him. “You’re right, I’m going to feel you tonight still. That’s one of the hardest fucks you’ve ever given me.”

“Did you dislike it?” Joel tipped his head back to stare out at her seeing her smirk and shake her head.

“I loved it,” she assured him, stroking her thumb over his bottom lip allowing him to take it between his lips to nibble at her flesh. “Are you coming to my party tonight?”

“Y/N,” Joel slurred, pulling his lips away from her thumb with a huff. “You know I can’t do that. You’re going to have friends from the school there.”

“None of them are in this program, they won’t know who you are,” she maintained, her eyes full of awe for the man beneath her. “I’ve told my friends I’m in a relationship with an older man and they support it. They think it’s hot that I’m dating an older man.”

“Dating?” Joel repeated her words, his eyebrows bouncing up when she said that word.

“Well yeah, you’re my boyfriend,” she pointed out making Joel straighten up underneath her and she saw something change in his face while he stared out at her. “I mean that’s what you would call this, right? Dating? We spend a lot of time together. Go on trips together. Buy each other things. Spend nights together…”

“I mean…” Joel’s lips parted, his brown eyes searching hers and it was clear that he was uneasy with the conversation that they were having. “Why would you tell your friends about me? If the college found out that we were sleeping together I would be fired, Y/N.”

“I don’t tell them that you’re my professor. How we met doesn’t matter,” she stroked her fingers over the center of his chest making Joel scoff in response. “They don’t need to know that you were impressed with my work and when you called me in here to talk about my skills our chemistry just skyrocketed. The only thing they know is that you flirted with me and swept me off my feet with your quiet, southern charm.”

“I can’t go to your party tonight Y/N. I have a daughter, remember?” Joel reminded her making her lick her lips and he adjusted her over him so that way they had some distance. “Sarah is fourteen and I can’t just leave her alone to go to some college party.”

“What about your brother?” Y/N pushed making Joel snort, his brow line creasing when she was visibly desperate to have him in her life tonight. “I think Tommy can handle Sarah for one night, don’t you think?”

“No, we have a movie night tonight,” Joel reflected her suggestion, reaching down to grab his pants to pull them back over his hips and she suddenly felt uncomfortable seeing his reaction to things. “Every Friday we spend together since her mother left us.”

“Well,” she thought about what he was telling her and she reached out to palm in over the side of Joel’s face, teasing her fingers through his facial hair. “Maybe I can blow off the party tonight and I can meet Sarah for the first time? I can bring over a pizza and maybe some ice cream.”

“You don’t have to give up your party to meet my daughter,” Joel stammered getting his pants back together while she worked to pull her pants up and over her hips. “It’s not that important.”

“Of course it is. I love you Joel, I want to meet your daughter,” she repeated what she had told him in the past hearing Joel inhale sharply and tip his head to the side. Joel moved her from over him and stood up heading over toward his desk to sit down on the edge of it folding his arms in front of his chest. “Why is it you respond like that every time I tell you I love you?”

“Because it’s too fast,” Joel answered with a stressed sound, reaching back to stroke his fingers in over the back of his neck.

“But we’ve been doing this for over a year and a half now,” she pointed out making Joel tense up and he shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not like we’re just fucking Joel. We’ve been out on dates, we’ve traveled together…I’ve given you a significant amount of money for your company.”

“And I appreciate that,” Joel threw his hand up in the air making her chest ache while she sat in the chair before him. Joel’s breathing was heavy and she could feel a lump developing in her throat. “I know it was a lot to ask you for that loan and I appreciate you doing it for me. I appreciate all the gifts and the money you’ve given me. It means a lot to me.”

“But not enough for you to tell me you love me?” she stammered seeing him grimace when she mentioned him loving her. “Listen, you can just keep whatever present you got me for my birthday and replace it with an I love you. Just once.”

“I didn’t get you a gift for your birthday,” Joel confessed, his brown eyes full of a certain emotion she couldn’t read when she felt her chest ache. “The sex was your gift.”

“I just…” she felt her breath getting taken from her lungs and she immediately nodded her head. When it was Joel’s birthday, she went out of her way to give him the best birthday possible. Showering him with gifts, taking him out somewhere nice and even giving him a trip to the beach after he talked about longing to go one day. “Okay.”

“You’re disappointed,” Joel commented seeing that her face was turning a shade of red when she looked down at the ground before her.

“No, I just…” she lied to him looking up at him with a dampness in her eyes making Joel drastically bob his head about and look over toward the time. “Am I keeping you?”

“You know that I can’t keep you in here for too long. People would get suspicious,” Joel explained looking to the watch that she knew his daughter had given to him on his birthday. “Why don’t you just text me later and let me know how your party was.”

“Maybe we can go out to dinner before the party?” she stood from the seat feeling a chill flooding her spine hoping for more from Joel. “Maybe that little diner that you like? We can get a couple of shakes, burgers and fries. Then after we can share some of that pie that…”

“I have to pick Sarah up and take her to soccer practice,” Joel interjected before she could make a further suggestion. Joel stood up and moved around the desk to reach for something in the top drawer and she saw it was his keys.

“Maybe I can come and…” she started to mutter but Joel put his hand up in the air to cut her off and shake his head. “Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough to meet your daughter? I thought you liked me…”

“I do like you, but it would just be…weird,” Joel answered with a shake of his head making her let out a shuddering breath. “Hey Sarah, here is this girl that is my student. We hang out sometimes…just thought you would like to meet her.”

“So I’m good enough to have a pussy full of your cum and I’m good enough to give you nice things and go on trips with, but I’m not good enough to meet your daughter or brother? Or have any part of your life?” she inquired knowing that for a while she realized she wasn’t getting back in the relationship with Joel what she was giving him, but she just thought it was because of his ex-wife hurting him like she did in the past and he was just genuinely a shyer guy.

“Watch what you say,” Joel hushed her looking toward the door making her roll her eyes and shake her head.

“Do you really only see our relationship as us just hanging out?” she thought back on what he said making Joel grumble under his breath. “Am I just your student to you? The last time we spent the night together you spent all night holding me and the things that you said…”

“You are my student,” Joel reminded her making her chest tighten when he shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry it’s not the answer you want, but everything you want is too complicated for me right now. I need relaxed in my life. I have so much going on and what you’re asking for is just too much.”

“We’ve almost been together two years Joel. I get if this was the first few months, but I think we started doing this a year and nine months ago,” she educated him on the amount of time they had been fooling around with one another. “It would be one thing if it was less than a year, but you’ve asked me to be loyal to you. To only be with you. And as far as I knew, I was the only person you were sleeping with too.”

“You are, but it’s more of a case if I’m having unprotected sex with you, I didn’t want to be fucking all the boys on campus too,” Joel noted making her let out an offended breath and he threw his hands up in the air. “I just think sex feels better without a condom and you were willing to do it, so I thought we just had an agreement with that.”

“You know if you dedicate yourself to one person with sex, that usually means you’re dating them,” she commented making Joel’s nose wrinkle. Lowering his head into his palm, he was very uneasy with this discussion and she let out an offended breath. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I can’t break up with someone that I was never dating to begin with,” Joel snorted making her heart sink hearing him pronounce the words with a firmness to his tone. “I just don’t want to introduce you to my family. I also don’t want to tell you I love you because what we have, it’s just not…”

“Wow,” she felt her body shaking and she headed over toward her bag that she dropped at the corner of his office. Instead of listening to this any longer, she knew that she couldn’t take it and had to leave. “Thanks for the sex. It’s exactly what I wanted for my birthday.”

“Listen,” Joel began, standing up straight reaching out in attempts to touch her, but she pulled back and away from him. “You have to understand…”

“No, I get it,” she held her hand up in the air making Joel’s eyes narrow and he gave her a glare that made his chiseled jawline flex. “God, I’m stupid. This is already off to a great birthday. Enjoy your day with Sarah, I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Would you just,” Joel stammered only for her to pull open the door to storm out of his office. Heading for the front of the building that she was in, she felt like the world was spinning around her and she didn’t know how to handle the information she was just delivered.

“Slow down tiger,” a familiar deep, raspy voice rumbled from behind her when she shoved open the front door. Looking back over her shoulder she saw that her personal bodyguard that her father had on her for the last few years was resting back against the school smoking a cigarette. His dark sunglasses were over his eyes, his dimples sinking in when he stared out at her. “Where are you going in a rush?”

“Fucking hell Negan,” she snapped watching his head tip to the side and his eyebrow arched up over his sunglasses. His dimples sank in when he released a long line of smoke from his lungs making her look down toward the ground. At the moment she wanted to cry and have a meltdown but she was doing her best to keep it together. “I forgot they have you follow me every-fucking-where.”

“Kind of my job,” he clarified pulling the sunglasses from his face, hooking them at the top of his shirt while he stared out at her with his hazel eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lied feeling like her heart was going to explode from how upset she was with what Joel had just said to her.

“We both fucking know that’s not true,” Negan took another puff of his cigarette before tossing it aside making her shrug her shoulders. “Did the professor fucking do something?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she disputed watching Negan push himself forward from the school to approach her and stare out at her with is expressive eyes. Negan reached out to grasp her jaw between his thumb and index finger noticing that she was quite upset.

“How much money did he ask for this time?” Negan queried making her roll her eyes when she pulled away from Negan and shook her head. “Do I need to go fucking kick his ass? Did he do something that…”

“Stop,” she reached for Negan, grabbing a hold of his arm and pulling him back to her. “I just made the mistake of thinking my relationship with him was something more than it actually was.”

“What do you mean?” Negan’s face scrunched up, visible confusion flooding his features while he stared out at her. “Pretty sure you’re fucking dating him.”

“Apparently not,” she snorted thinking about all the things she had done with Joel over the last year and a half. After all they had done together, she just assumed they were a couple and even though he hadn’t told her he loved her, she thought she was working Joel up to it. “You never told my father about him, right?”

“Of course not. You asked me to keep it as our secret and it is. Your father never asks where you go or where the money you spend is going. Even if he did ask me about your potential lovers, my loyalty lies with you. Not your father,” Negan promised making her sigh loudly when he placed his hand in over the center of his chest. “He just pays me to keep you safe.”

“He pays you to follow me around like a stalker,” she reminded him waving him on to follow her so they could walk through campus together.

“You know there was a point in time where you actually enjoyed the idea of it,” Negan teased her, nudging her playfully with his shoulder while they walked side by side. “If I remember correctly, you were head over heels for me.”

“And you were married,” she frowned making Negan stop walking and his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned her. I know it’s still sensitive with her passing and…”

“It’s fine,” Negan held his hand up in the air and it made her eyes fall to the wedding rings that he still wore on a necklace around his neck. Growing up, she had the biggest crush on Negan having him be her bodyguard. Anyone who was around him as much as she was would have fallen in love with him too. With his wildly naughty, cocky attitude and one of the most stunning smiles she had ever seen in her life, it made it hard for her not to fall for him. Physically, Negan was the man of her dreams. Tall dark and handsome defined him completely and she was in love with him for a significant part of her life, but the number one problem was that he was already taken by his childhood sweetheart. Lucille. So any attempts she made on Negan in the past were quickly shut down because he was head over heels in love with his wife. And it was only recently that he had ended up losing her to pancreatic cancer. Just talking about her sometimes would make Negan very emotional and since her passing the two of them had gotten a lot closer as friends. In fact, Negan was probably her best friend and her bodyguard. He was there all the time so he knew everything. More than anyone knew. And in a way she liked it because she knew she had someone she could be completely honest with. It just so happened that she used to have the biggest crush on him for a long time. Negan reached up to brush his fingers against his wedding ring that was there along with his late wife’s ring. “I’m going to have to get used to talking about her at some point.”

“Give me your hand,” she held her hand up seeing the way that Negan’s nose wrinkled and he tipped his head to the side. “Just give me your damn hand.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan allowed her to take his hand and she hooked her fingers with his leading them to hold hands while they walked through the campus together. “I feel like a teenage boy again holding hands with a pretty girl.”

“Listen, I need someone to hold my fucking hand so I don’t have a complete and total meltdown,” she informed Negan feeling him stop when she stated that and she shrugged her shoulders when she gazed over at him. “And I’m pretty sure you need someone to hold your hand sometimes too.”

“Is this guy still in his office?” Negan questioned, pulling her forward to stare down at her seeing the way that her eyes were tearing over. “That’s it, I’m going to go fucking kick his ass…”

“No,” she begged, pulling him back to her so that way he was staring down at her with his big hazel eyes. Negan’s palm pressed in over the side of her face and he swallowed down hard when she leaned into his touch. “I was just stupid Negan. It was my own fault. I wanted a relationship so bad that I was reading everything…wrong. I’m just so used to no one wanting me that it felt good having something with Joel.”

“I could have told you fucking your professor wasn’t going to go anywhere. It was an abuse of power on his end and…” Negan started to vent but was cut off by the feeling of Y/N pressing her fingers in over his lips to silence him. When he stopped talking, he felt her dragging her fingers through his short beard and he sighed. Hooking his arms around her, he pulled her into a tight hug and stroked his fingers over the back of her neck. Squeezing her tightly in his arms, he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss over her forehead. “Come to the Mustang. I have something for you.”

With a simple nod, she followed Negan to his black classic Mustang that he owned. Negan held his finger up and motioned her to wait a minute when he opened the passenger’s side door. Leaning down he reached for something from the back and she let out an amused sound when he brought out some balloons and he was holding a six-pack of cupcakes in his hands.

“Happy birthday,” Negan offered up a weak smile holding out the things in his hands making her smile when he did it.

“You remembered,” she breathed out seeing his dimples sink in and he gave her a small nod. “I didn’t think you remembered when I didn’t see you this morning.”

“I was too busy driving out to that special little bakery you like to get you these,” Negan informed her making her touched to know that he went out of his way today to get her something that she liked. “I know how much you love the cupcakes from there and I just, I wanted to do something nice for your fucking birthday.”

“Well, you’re going to have to share them with me,” she reached out to accept the balloons and the cupcakes finding herself amused with the whole balloon aspect of things. Negan so far was the only person to make some kind of positive impact for her on her birthday and she appreciated it. “You know I can’t eat six of them by myself.”

“I can do that,” Negan muttered and she took a minute to think about things before stepping up on her toes to press a quick kiss at Negan’s cheek. “Get in…”

“Yes sir,” she nodded her head allowing Negan to help her into the passenger seat of his Mustang and she knew if this was how things were when she was younger, she would be swooning over Negan doing something nice for her on her birthday. Unfortunately she was still upset with the way things went down with Joel and that was heavy in her heart, but she was doing her best not to have a meltdown. When he got back into the car, he pulled his sunglasses back in over his face and looked over at her. “You taking me home?”

“No, I’m taking you out to dinner on the water. Give you some time to relax before you are surrounded by a shitload of people tonight,” Negan answered her with a big smile making her throat tense up knowing that it was something that she wanted Joel to do with her. Negan must have caught the expression over her face and he frowned. “What?”

“You don’t have to do this just because you are my bodyguard and have to be around me,” she claimed making him frown, pushing his sunglasses down his face to allow his hazel eyes to connect with hers. “I’m sure there is something else you would rather be doing with your time.”

“No, I want to spend my evening with you, doing something nice for your birthday,” Negan winked starting up the car noticing the way that she was staring out at him. “So stop worrying. Everything is as I want it.”

Instead of fighting with him she allowed him to take her where he wanted. It surprised her when they got to the restaurant and they led them outside to the table that had more balloons there along with a bouquet of flowers. It made her stop in her footsteps and Negan moved in behind her to place his hand in over her shoulder, “What?”

“What would you have done if I would have went with Joel somewhere?” she asked knowing that this was something that Negan obviously had planned for her long before just deciding to randomly take her here for her birthday.

“Then I would have called and cancelled,” Negan led her over toward the table and held the chair out for her. After she sat Negan took the seat across from her and she felt bad knowing that this is what she wanted to be doing with the man she thought was her boyfriend. Taking his sunglasses off, Negan noticed the way she was staring out at him and he threw his hands up in the air. “You talk about having shitty birthdays all the time and I just wanted to make sure that you had a semi-decent one.”

“I don’t deserve you after all the shit I’ve put you through,” she lifted up from her seat to lean across the table to press a lingering kiss over the side of his face. Negan smirked when she sat back down in her seat. “I bet you would have never thought you would still be here years ago.”

“Years ago I was just thankful to have a job. Going from having a promising career in baseball to hurting myself and needing a job was rough,” Negan explained thinking back on his life working with Y/N. “You may have given me a run for my money, but I enjoy my job.”

“I’m sure the money you make isn’t all that bad,” she thought about the people that worked for her father and she heard Negan scoff. “You know, you never told me how you ended up with this job. Being stuck with me.”

“I don’t view it that way,” Negan shook his head, rolling his eyes when he reached for the glass of water that was before him. “I got the job because Simon owed me. We knew each other previously, I was in the minor leagues for baseball and I looked to have a promising career ahead of me, but I got injured. Lucille and I just got married, I needed money and he hooked me up with this job taking care of a wild and unruly teenager of some rich hotshot. And I thought, how hard could it be?”

“And then you met me,” she joked looking down at the menu that was before her knowing that this was a place she had come many times before and Negan obviously knew that she liked it. “I probably drove you crazy.”

“Sometimes,” Negan tipped his head to the side and gave her a wink. Reaching for something beside him, Negan grabbed a hold of the bag that he brought with him into the restaurant. “I know this is kind of goofy considering the circumstances, but this is your last present from me today…”

“What?” her eyebrows bounced up seeing that he was handing something across the table to her. Accepting the bag, she pulled it into her lap and reached inside to reveal the leather-bound sketchbook that Negan had gotten for her.

“I know you have people that are going to give you incredible gifts tonight that are going to make that feel stupid, but I always see you sketching on things and since this is going to be your profession I thought you might like having one that looked…fuck, I don’t know…nice,” Negan waved his hand around seeing the way that she smiled while she opened it and flipped through the pages. “I saw it and it made me think of you so I got it for you.”

“Thank you, Negan,” she found herself in awe of the man before her knowing that with their history together she was so surprised that Negan still liked her as much as he did. She really did give him hell when she was a teenager and in her early twenties so she was thankful for his kindness toward her. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Go for it,” Negan got comfortable in his seat, tipping his head to the side when he gave her his full attention.

“You and Joel are around the same age,” she began seeing the expression over his face change when she brought up Joel to him and she knew that Negan was never a fan of the guy to begin with. “Do you find me to be overbearing? Am I wrong for thinking that we were dating after a year and a half? I wanted to meet his daughter and he had a meltdown about it. Called me just some student.”

“Y/N, I don’t like him,” Negan explained with a loud rumble of a groan, reaching to pinch at the bridge of his nose when he leaned forward in his seat. “I think the problem in the whole relationship was him and not you.”

“Just answer the question Negan,” she pleaded knowing that she probably sounded pathetic and desperate, but in a sense she was.

“Your relationship started because he took advantage of you. He called you to his office and told you that he wanted to talk about how well you were exceeding in his classes and then seduced you into sleeping with him. Because you’re attracted to older men you were eager to get the attention from an older man…” Negan reasoned with her making her face flush over when he reminded her of how her relationship with Joel started. “You know how uncomfortable you were when he asked you for money the first time, but you’re too goddamn nice and you liked him so much that you were willing to do whatever it took to keep him happy. To answer your question, most people who are dating a year would have no problem introducing their daughter to the person they were with. People who go on trips together are often considered dating too. So no, I don’t think you’re overbearing for wanting to get closer to Joel. I think it’s fucked up he’s your professor and I think there is something incredibly shady about him, but…”

“I know how you feel about Joel. You tell me all the time,” she reminded him with a shake of her head hating that she let Joel get to her so much but she really liked him and she put a lot of effort into their relationship over the last year. “I just wonder if there is a problem with me. My mother left me. My father can’t stand me. I’ve had boyfriends, but never anything super serious. The one time I think I’ve fallen in love with someone…”

“You’re surrounded by shitty people Y/N,” Negan reasoned with her hating that she was going to these thoughts because of Joel upsetting her like he did. “It’s a hard pill to swallow, but a lot of the world fucking sucks. You’re a good person in a shady fucking family. Of course you are going to feel lonely in that environment. You don’t have the attitude of a rich person. You’re humble, caring, kind…”

“After I graduate, I’m going to be poor as hell,” she chuckled seeing Negan scoff at the thing that her father told her. “Will you still like me then?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Negan reached out across the table for her hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “It’s not the money that kept me here and you know that. I care about you. I always have and no matter what your father does, I will always be in your life.”

Squeezing her fingers around Negan’s, she appreciated the sentiment and felt good knowing that no matter what happened in her life, there would always be someone she knew that she could count on. It made her happy to know that Negan was that person.

“I feel like I was just being a pathetic, clingy child with Joel and I feel pitiful,” she admitted to Negan focusing on the way that his thumb stroked over the back of her hand. “Is this what all men are like when they get in serious relationships? I’ve told him that I love him multiple times at this point and every time he turns pale and starts sweating. Why do the things he’s doing with me if he doesn’t want a relationship of some kind?”

“Y/N…” Negan slurred, his eyebrows bouncing up with his fingers curling tighter around hers. “Are you sure you’re the only student that he is doing this with? For all you know, this could just be something that he does. Takes advantage of the power he holds over people as their professor and...”

“That’s not what this was Negan. I was just doing really good in his classes and he wanted to pull me aside. Told me that he knew people that would be interested in my work if I kept up doing what I was. It was just when the two of us were together there was this chemistry,” Y/N informed Negan feeling his fingers slowly slipping from hers and he leaned back in his chair visibly uncomfortable. “Negan, while he may have seduced me, I could tell he hadn’t been with someone in a very long time. He tried to pretend to be confident, but he was still nervous. I think after his wife abandoned him and his daughter, he shut himself down. Joel is complicated.”

“Men aren’t as complicated as you think they are,” Negan retorted with a snort, tapping his fingers at the top of the table while they waited for someone to come and take their order. “Listen, you are a good catch, but some people see you and they get the wrong idea. You’re beautiful, sweet, passionate, talented…but sometimes people are going to see your last name and they are going to take advantage of how good you are.”

“Joel isn’t like that,” she combated making Negan throw his hands up in the air in a defensive movement. “Joel isn’t the type that cares about politics or money.”

“He asked you for money, he knows you have the money Y/N. How did he know that?” Negan pushed, leaning forward in his seat trying to keep quiet since there were other people near them.

“I talked to him about my life quite a bit Negan. He knew what my life was like and he knew that I had an endless supply of money because of my dad. You know my dad. He allows me to do whatever I want without asking. I love Joel and I would do whatever it takes…” she rambled on watching Negan’s thick eyebrows arch up and she felt her chest tightening. “It’s not about the money Negan.”

“You’re not pathetic for falling in love with someone Y/N. You’re a hopeless romantic and I can’t fault you for that. I fucking get it,” Negan placed his hand in over the center of his chest and cleared his throat when he could see they were getting prepared to come get their orders. “Plus, Joel has been playing with your feelings and emotions. Dragging you along so you do what he wants. Whether it’s sex or money…”

“It’s not about the money Negan,” she stressed thinking back on the moments that she shared with Joel previously. “I think his ex-wife just really hurt him. He has a lot going on in his head. There are moments where he is really cold, but then there are those moments where he is holding me in bed some nights where it just feels special. Unlike anything I’ve felt before. I think he really combats his thoughts a lot. He wants to be loved and to have a relationship, but at the same time he’s scared to.”

“I think you think too fucking highly of him,” Negan declared making her frown and they both went silent when the waitress came to their table to take their orders. After the waitress left Negan noticed that Y/N was deep in her thoughts and he shook his head. “Y/N, I’m not trying to be mean here. You know I support whatever decisions you make. I just want you fucking happy, but there has been some rather big fucking red flags. I would know because for a big part of my life I was a walking red flag. I was a fucker in my younger years. So I just want you to be careful.”

With a simple nod, she looked to her phone and sighed when she saw that Joel hadn’t texted her or anything after she left his office. If there was something more between the two of them, she thought maybe he would have contacted her, but he didn’t.

“Everything you’ve done here is everything I wanted Joel to do today,” she silently muttered making Negan frown, nodding his head slowly. “I’m starting to think you’re the only person that truly sees me for me Negan. Maybe the world forced it to be that way, but you see me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Negan gave her a wink sliding closer to the table, tipping his head down in attempts to get her eyes to connect with his. “While you’re with me, try to forget him and enjoy yourself. If you need to still talk about him, I won’t shut you the fuck down, but I want you happy and I think the more you think about Joel the sadder you are going to be.”

“I’ll do my best,” she gave him a weak smile knowing that Negan was trying harder than anyone in her life right now to make her happy and she appreciated the gesture. So she was going to give him the best of her right now. It’s what he deserved for trying to make her happy. It wasn’t normal for people to go out of their way for her to make her happy so she was very thankful for that. So that’s what she did. Did her best to ignore her feelings on Joel and it was nice to actually have a few moments of downtime with Negan. It really did feel like at this point that Negan was the only person that she could be herself with and not have to worry about impressing him. Hopefully that feeling never changed with him because he was way too important to her for her to lose now.

----

Tags: @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @tone-stark @thesapphirequeen @wonwoosthetic @misskittydenoire @casangel1986

#Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #The Walking Dead #The Last of Us #negan x reader #joel miller x reader #negan fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #twd fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x you #negan x you #negan imagine #joel miller imagine

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ellieslittleburrow · 1 month

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Masterlist 🌹🌹🌹

Hi there, welcome. I'm reposting the masterlist on my other account, rusty's lodge and adding the fics i wrote on this one as well.

enjoyyyy 💕🌸

MASTERLIST P.2

4am Masterlist

Fandoms : Supernatural, Walker, The society, Hannibal, Peaky blinders, Sherlock Holmes, The Punisher, The Witcher, and many more!

Open to requests from other tv shows i might've watched, so request away 🖤🖤

Supernatural :

One shots :

Sam and dean :

Coming home late..doesn't keep Dean okay.(Angsty Dean x sister reader)

Graduation (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Broken heart (Dean x sister reader)

Cakepops (Dean x sister reader)

Tummy ache (Fluffy Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Arrested (Angsty Sam x sister reader)

Distant(Sam x sister reader)

The best dad (Sam x daughter reader)

Heartbroken (Sam/dean x sister reader)

I'll do it for you (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Sleep paralysis...Part1(Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Witchcraft (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Fun evening...Part 2(Angsty Dean x sister reader)

Fun evening..Part 1(Fluffy Dean x sister reader)

Social anxiety (Dean/Sam x sister reader)

Eating disorder part 1 (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

ED part 2, Dean(Dean x sister reader)

ED part 2, Sam (Sam x sister reader)

Periods (Dean/Sam x sister reader)

Hungover Dean ( Fluffy Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Non-binary little winchester(Sam/Dean x sibling reader)

Dean realizes his sister’s lesbian( Dean x lesbian sister reader)

Forever love you, no matter what(Sam/Dean x lesbian sister)

I'm here now, kid (Dean winchester x daughter!reader)

Too young to go on hunts(Sam/Dean/Bobby x sister reader)

Sick (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Pretty girl (Sam/Dean x young sister reader)

psychic abilities (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Homeschooled Part 1 (Sam/sister reader)

Homeschooled Part 2 (Sam/sister reader)

Sir mister judge (Dean x sister reader)

Bites pt1 (angst Dean winchester x daughter reader)

Bites pt2 (fluffy Dean winchester x daughter reader)

The hairdresser (Sam x young daughter reader)

Short hair (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Panicky..(Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Hurtin' kid.(Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Family breakup. (Angst Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Sentimental sister (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Other characters :

The little secret (Castiel x reader)

I promised i’d keep you safe and i broke that promise(Platonic jack x sister reader)

Savior castiel (platonic castielx sister reader)

Charlie's girlfriend (Romantic fluff charlie x sister reader)

Siblings (Dean/Sam Winchester x sister!reader)

Christmas time (Dean winchester x sister!reader)

Texts 📱 :

Sam and Dean :

Are you sure you’re feeling better ? (Sam x sick sister reader)

Prank time. (Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Night terrors (Dean x sister reader)

I crashed baby...(Sam/Dean x sister reader)

Other characters :

Blackmail Part 1(Claire novak x winchester sister reader)

Blackmail Part 2

Hannibal :

Poor behaviour Pt1 (hannibal x daughter reader)

Poor behaviour Pt2

It is but a little cold. (Fluff Hannibal x daughter reader)

Anger issues (Hannibal x daughter reader)

Protective family(AU Sherlock Holmes/Hannibal Lecter x daughter/sister!reader)

Peaky Blinders :

Final night in Soho (shelby brothers x sister)

Sherlock Holmes :

His ward. (Sherlock Holmes x sister reader)

His ward. PT2, choice 1

His ward. PT2, choice 2

The detectives (Sherlock/Enola holmes x sister!reader)

Big Sky :

Hurt but safe.(Beau Arlen x daughter!reader)

The Last Of Us :

A father like no other (Joel Miller x daughter!reader)

From stranger to father..(Joel miller x daughter!reader)

Fainter reader(Joel miller x daughter!reader/Ellie x sister!reader)

The witcher :

Geralt headcanons (Geralt x daughter!reader)

Top Gun Maverick :

Balls of fire (Rooster Bradshaw x sister!reader)

Elvis :

I own you. (Smut Elvis Presley x girlfriend!reader)

Classic case of jealousy (Elvis Presley x girlfriend!reader)

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toogay2besaved · 6 months

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⚠️LOOKING FOR STATION-19 FRIENDS 😩⚠️

I am in desperate need of some good friends who love to geek out!! Not only to station-19 but anything!

A little about myself!

I’m 21 (22 in a few weeks),

My inbox is always open no matter what!

female she/her,

I’m new to tumblr, I love reading and writing little fanfics,

my favourite shows right now are Station-19, Criminal Minds (100 more to list),

my favourite colour is lavender and burnt orange

Canadian 🇨🇦

#station19 #maya bishop imagine #carina deluca x maya bishop #drabbles #fanfic #need friends #open inbox #andy herrera #jack gibson #victoria hughes #carina deluca #travis montgomery #dean miller #ben warren

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mickandmusings · 1 day

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mickandmusings masterlist

Last Updated: 4-29-24

Requests: Open!

Requesting rules here!

Supernatural:

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Castiel

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes

Thor Odinson

Loki Laufeyson

Stephen Strange

Bridgerton:

Anthony Bridgerton

Benedict Bridgerton

Colin Bridgerton

Star Wars:

Din Djarin

Poe Dameron

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Anakin Skywalker

Ben Solo

Top Gun:

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Robert 'Bob' Floyd

Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell

Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky

The Bear:

Carmy Berzatto

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

Other:

Joel Miller

Javier Pena

Rafe Cameron

Indiana Jones

Prince Eric (live action)

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harmonity-vibes · 4 months

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Imagine

You're in high school and you're dating these two. The popular girls would be jealous.

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dreamypqulson · 1 year

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you’re fighting an apocalypse with cordelia when she hears you scream. she tries to remain calm as she searches around for you. that’s when she spots you laying on the ground, covered in blood. she rushes over to you, tugs your body onto her lap and holds you close. you struggle to catch your breath but still manage to speak, “cordelia, kiss me. please kiss me. i cannot die without showing you what you truly mean to me.” she hovers her hand over your bleeding wound and you can feeling her magic course through you. although she was exhausted from fighting, she used all the strength she had left to heal you. “you’re not going to die, my love,” she says, but still, she leans down and kisses your aching lips anyways.

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pimosworld · 9 months

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Based on poll results we have Charity and Cain.

TLOU AU x Triple Frontier Crossover

#frankie morales x reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader x francisco morales #tlou x reader #tlou au #triple frontier au #tlou crossover #joel miller x f!reader #francisco morales x reader #joel miller smut #Francisco Morales smut #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #tlou imagine #joel miller imagine #santiago pope garcia x reader #jeffrey dean morgan #Jeffrey dean Morgan x reader #moonshineverse

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theapangea · 10 months

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hey besties!! request are open now so pls send me some stuff in my inbox. i’m open to anything (smut, fluff, angst, etc etc)

Who I write for:

Lip Gallagher (Shamless)

Carmen Berzatto (The Bear)

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)

Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Jay Kelso (That 90s Show)

Nick Miller (New Girl)

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mentally-ill-simp · 6 months

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I have made the very brave decision to start posting at least one fan fic or fic request every Sunday and Tuesday I don't want the people who requested already to think i forgot about them I'm just a busy person. I would also like a tag list for my fics. So if you guys have requests or would like to be added to the tag list then dm me or ask in the ask box :)

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justagalwhowrites · 4 months

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Halcyon - Ch. 3: Why don’t we try to actually get our shit together?

You and Joel come up with a plan. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 2, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Some mild diet talk, no explicit mention of reader's weight or size (beyond she is smaller than Joel but my Joels are all giant, OK? Joel is like 6'5" Joel is a big big man, big big man). Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 5K

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Sir, I can’t just… Well, I understand that you say that but…”

Amanda, the sophomore girl who worked the front desk of the English department offices, frowned, phone clutched against her head.

“I understand that,” she said again. “But she’s a special case, Professor…” She flinched and glanced up to see you coming in, looking relieved. “Sir? Give me just one second and I can check…” She pressed the hold button and lowered the receiver. “Professor, I am so so sorry, I know we’re not supposed to send unexpected calls or emails through to you but do you know a Joel Miller? He’s insisting he’s a friend of yours and…”

You raised your eyebrows before answering.

“Yeah, I know Joel. Go ahead and transfer him back to my office. And if he ever gives you a hard time again, tell him to fuck off.”

Amanda looked relieved and took Joel off hold as you went to the end of the hall and unlocked your door. You didn’t have to share an office like a few other people in your department. One of the perks, you imagined, of being a big name that got the university some attention. But you hadn’t done much with the space yet, the only thing on the wall a framed poster that the dean had waiting for you when you started there.

Your phone rang just as you set down your bag and you picked it up, tucking it against your shoulder.

“Yes, what do you want, I’m busy being very famous and important,” you said with a slight English accent.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize best selling authors were such a hot commodity,” Joel said. “Should I make an appointment?”

“Probably,” you replied. He snorted. “What’s up?”

“Did you know that you tried to put your number in my phone the other night?” Joel asked. “Note that I say ‘tried’ because what you actually did was put something in my notes that has four numbers and then seven symbols which, if you’re counting, ain’t even the right number of digits.”

You scoffed.

“You’re lucky I didn’t change your passcode or set an alarm for 4:30 in the morning,” you said. “Sounds like you got off easy.”

“You’re a menace.”

“I know,” you said, smiling a little to yourself. “So why were you looking for my number on a Monday morning?”

“Because I was looking for your number on a Sunday morning and ended up shit outta luck,” he replied. “Figured I could catch you at work. They got you all locked down over there, huh?”

“Trying to discourage random readers from contacting me here is all,” you said. “There was a problem with that at Brown right when the book first got popular. I don’t think it’d be as much of a problem now but still, administration thought it was smart. Speaking of which, don’t be a shit to my office aide.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” he said, ignoring your last comment. “Think you can put me on the list of people who are allowed to talk to you? And on the list of people who are allowed to bring you food?”

“Bring me food?” You frowned.

“Well, yeah,” he said. “I was hoping I could do that. Like… today. In an hour or so. If you’re not shaping young minds or whatever.”

“Don’t you have work?” You laughed.

“New job starts tomorrow,” he said. “And I don’t exactly have a lot of time without Sarah where I’m not at work.”

“And you want to see me?”

“No, I figured I’d just call and annoy your secretary as a new hobby…”

“Office aide.”

“You free for lunch or not, Goldie?” He said, exasperated. You resisted the urge to laugh.

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, I’m free. I have a class gap from 11:30 to 2. I can meet you somewhere…”

“I’ll just come to you,” he said. “Assuming that a fancy schmancy professor will still eat tamale lady tamales…”

“OK you could have opened with tamale lady tamales,” you said. “Buried the lead there, Miller.”

Joel laughed.

“I’ll give you my number and you can text me where your office is,” he said. “Then I’ll have a way to contact you that isn’t fucking gibberish. See you in two hours.”

You put his number into your phone and texted him. He responded with a screenshot of your note with the message literally none of those numbers are right which made you laugh.

It was hard to focus as you taught your next class, checking your watch every few minutes to see just how much time had passed. You were keyed up, stomach tight, and you tried to talk yourself down as you walked half way across campus back to your office.

It was Joel. Just Joel. Sure, before Friday, you hadn’t seen or talked to him in years but falling back into friendship with him had felt so easy so far. He was safe and comfortable. You’d spent every day with Joel once upon a time.

But that felt so long ago now. You were different people then. Joel was a jock who pretty much just hung out with you and tried to speed run his way through every hot girl in school. You were a geek who spent her entire life either trailing along behind Joel or with her nose in a book. A lot had changed in the last decade and a half. Joel had a kid. You’d gotten married and divorced. Well, almost divorced. Nothing was finalized yet but you’d stopped wearing your wedding band when you moved to Texas even though it still sat on the ring stand on your bedside table.

After Friday and Saturday, you weren’t entirely sure if you were going to see Joel again. You hadn’t gotten his number and you remembered nothing of trying to put your number in his phone while you were drunk. You weren’t sure if it was going to be a fluke, just a blip on the radar of your lives that had gone on totally disconnected paths for more than a decade, or if this was something that would continue.

You weren’t sure what you wanted. Losing him the first time had hurt. It might have been the worst thing that had ever happened to you, even worse than losing your mother, than watching your sister sister fall apart in slow motion over the last decade, than your father entirely. Was it something you could survive again? Was it something you’d need to dig back up and talk through with Joel now that you were speaking again? If that was what he needed, was that something you could handle doing? You weren’t sure about any of it.

But you were already starting to think that you’d go along with anything Joel wanted as long as you got to keep him around this time, just like high school. He’d been the sun and you’d been caught in the gravity of him. You wondered if you’d ever escaped it at all.

You straightened up your office a bit, not that you’d had much time for things to get too messy. Most things were submitted virtually now, though you insisted on poetry being printed to make sure formatting was maintained, and most of your personal notes were contained to planners and notebooks that were in orderly piles on your desk. You were absently checking your email when there was a knock on the frame of your door and you looked up to see Joel standing there, a foil covered plate in one hand, two glass bottles of Dr. Pepper in the other.

“Oh my God, is that Dublin Dr. Pepper?” You gaped at him.

“Technically no,” he said, coming in and setting a bottle down in front of you. “Stopped making it at the Dublin plant years ago but basically the same thing. Hi, by the way.”

“Hi. And I’ll take basically the same thing,” you said, leaning forward to peer into the hall. “Do me a favor and close the door?”

He nudged it shut with his foot and you took the bottle, popping it open on the edge of your desk. Joel sat in the chair on the other side of your desk before he followed suit, smirking as he did.

“I didn’t want witnesses if I broke the desk I’ve had all of a month, OK?” You said.

“Goldie, I don’t think you could break the desk if you tried,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. You did the same, humming a little in appreciation. You rolled the liquid on your tongue like you would a wine, the bubbles crackling and dancing there before you swallowed it.

“God, that’s good,” you said. “I can’t remember the last time I had a soda that wasn’t diet…”

“Christ you sound like a Yankee,” Joel laughed, sitting back in the chair. “That’s a Coke in your hand, darlin’, not a fuckin’ soda.”

“Oh God,” you groaned and laughed, too. “That was such a hard habit to break! I’d ask my roommate if we had any Cokes, she said no, I’d go in the fridge later and see Diet Pepsi and have a what the fuck moment.”

“Strange world out there,” Joel smiled slightly, turning the glass bottle that looked so small in his large hands.

“Are these the tamales?” You asked, nodding at the plate.

“Oh, shit, yeah,” he said, taking the foil off the plate. The corn husks glistened and you groaned a little. Joel pulled two sets of plastic wrapped silverware out of his pocket and handed you one. “How long’s it been since you had one of these?”

“I don’t even want to own up to it,” you said, unwrapping the fork and knife. “I’ve basically been on a diet for the last decade of my life, these look incredible.”

You wheeled your office chair around the desk and sat next to Joel before peeling back a husk and cutting the end off with your fork and taking a bite. Your eyes rolled back in your head and you slumped back in the chair with a satisfied moan.

“Jesus Christ.”

“That good, huh?” Joel laughed.You just nodded, mouth full, and sat up to cut off another bite before you even swallowed the first one. “Diet for 10 years?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, covering your mouth with your hand until you could swallow. “There was the book tour, they wanted me to look a certain way. And… well, my husband has a type so…”

“Fuck that guy,” Joel said, opening another tamale and taking a bite of it. You rolled your eyes a little. “Mean it, fuck that and fuck him.”

“Oh, so you don’t have a type?” You asked, brows raised. “Because I seem to remember a very distinctive type in high school…”

“Oh lord,” he rolled his eyes.

“Pretty, for sure,” you said, teasing a little. “You definitely seemed to be a bit of a boobs man…”

“If I were with someone I sure as shit wouldn’t make them fucking diet to be my type,” he cut you off. “He’s a fucking idiot, Goldie.”

“You’re making a bigger deal out of this than it really is,” you waved him off.

“No, I’m really not,” he replied. “If we’d been talkin’ I’d have fuckin’ come to Rhode Island and kicked his sorry ass.”

“Joel,” you rolled your eyes.

“What?” He asked. “I would’ve. And he’d fuckin’ deserve it.”

“Anyway,” you said, cutting off another chunk of tamale. “You’ve got a new job starting tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s one that I’m actually lookin’ forward to, too. Get to be a little more creative…”

“You don’t normally get to be creative?” You frowned.

He scoffed.

“Not on any of the big shit,” he said. “Owners and managers get to do that. They toss me the smaller projects here and there to plan and run, this one is some owner’s suite remodel. Doin’ the bathroom, fancy fucking closet, that kind of shit. They’re letting me run it so I’ll shut up about never getting to do the fun stuff.”

“How long have you been working there?” You asked.

“Since I was 20,” he said. “So… fuck, 13 years? Jesus, I’m getting old…”

“And they’re not letting you do the creative stuff?” You asked, brows raised.

“I’m apparently ‘too valuable’ runnin’ the crew,” he used air quotes. “They throw a few of these little jobs to me every year but mostly I just make sure shit goes right on site for bigger jobs. Get it all done on time, all that.”

“Do you like doing that?” You asked.

“Not really.”

“OK,” you frowned. “So why are you still there?”

“Well, mostly because I tried paying my mortgage once with dreams and they told me to fuck off,” he said dryly and you glared at him.

“You know what I mean,” you said, cutting off a chunk of his tamale.

“Hey!”

“Shove it,” you popped it in your mouth before he could take it back. He rolled his eyes. “You’ve been doing that work for a while is what I mean, I’m sure somewhere else would hire you and you could do the parts of it you liked.”

“What I really want is to start my own company,” he said. “Well, what I really want is to play music but that ship’s sailed. Realistically, I’d like to start my own company. I think I could make some really cool shit if I had the chance.”

“So do it,” you shrugged.

“Oh yeah, easy for you to say,” he scoffed. “What, you just write your fuckin’ book?”

“No,” you said. “It took a lot of work and editing and rewriting and I’m not sure I’ll ever do it again but I did it. You can do it.”

“What do you mean you’re not sure you’ll ever do it again?” He frowned. “Thought I saw somethin’ about you writing another one.”

You looked at him for a moment, frowning a little, fork frozen over the plate. You were contracted for another book but that wasn’t something that had made national news, just an item in some industry publications after the press release from the publisher.

Why would Joel know that?

“What?” He asked. “Why are you starin’ at me?”

“Oh,” you said. “Just got something on your face…” You dipped your fork into some of the drippings on the plate before smearing it on Joel’s cheek. “Just there, nothing crazy.”

He pursed his lips and looked like he was struggling not to laugh.

“You’re the worst person I know,” he said, wiping his face with a tissue from the box on your desk.

You smirked, sitting back in your chair and putting your legging-clad legs in his lap, the way you used to sit with him on the couch back when you were teenagers.

“I know.”

“I’m serious though,” he said, the hand not holding the fork going around your calf just like it always had. “What do you mean you might never do it again?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed, peeling the husk off another tamale and cutting off a bite of it. “I don’t know that I have another story to tell. I’ve been trying to tell another one and I just… haven’t found one. I think I had one good story in me and I told it. That’s the end.”

“That’s bullshit,” Joel said.

“It’s really not,” you shrugged. “When I wrote the first one it just kind of flowed. At least the first draft did. I wrote it in about six months after my mom died and Gale…”

“Brad.”

You glared at him.

“Gale,” you repeated. “Edited it and workshopped it with me.”

“Oh I’m sure he was a fuckin’ natural at that,” Joel said, voice dripping in sarcasm. You glared at him. “What, you’re telling me I’m wrong? I don’t think I am…”

“He was well equipped for the job,” you allowed. “And yeah, it took a lot of edits and rewrites before it was ready to even start trying to show to agents, it was years of work… Who would I do that with now? I don’t know that I can do it by myself…”

“Do it with your publisher and shit,” Joel said. “Come on, don’t tell me that jackass is what’s holding you back…”

“It’s not just that. I really don’t know that I have anything else to say. And even if I did…” you took a deep breath. You’d never said this aloud, not even to your agent. “If I did, what if it’s not as good?”

Joel waved you off.

“Of course it’d be as good, the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact that everyone freaked the fuck out about the fact that my ‘debut novel,’” you put the words in air quotes, “was so brilliant and shit, what if I never write anything better? What if everything I ever make after this is a let down? What if I never do anything good again? Everyone who took a risk on me, everyone who read my first book, everyone who ever thought I could do something will be let down by it. Jesus, one reviewer said it was the best debut novel since To Kill a Mockingbird, how the fuck am I supposed to live up to that? Starting to understand why Harper Lee didn’t publish anything else for decades…”

“Goldie,” Joel said gently. “I’m sure you’d write something great.”

You poked at your tamale, staring at it as you did.

“What if the only great thing I ever made was great because of him?” You asked quietly, eyes darting to Joel for a second before looking back at the plate. “What if it was just fine when it came from me and it only became what it became because of him?”

“Anything you’d write would be great, got nothing to do with fuckin’ Brad,” he said. “Not sure you can write something that’s not great.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Joel, you read the articles I wrote for the school paper,” you said. “I don’t think you’re a fair judge.”

“And your lit mag stuff,” he said defensively. “Look, I’m not a genius or anything but I’m smart enough to know when something’s great and you’re great, alright?”

“Yeah, well…” you nudged his leg with your knee. “So are you.”

He just looked at you for a moment until you frowned.

“What?”

He leaned forward with his fork, smearing some tamale drippings on the tip of your nose.

“Got something right… there.”

You laughed and he squeezed your calf and you cleaned your face before you went back to focusing on the food and life outside of your broader ambitions. Before what felt like too long there was a knock on your door and Alyssa poked her head in.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you had company,” she smiled, her eyes drifting to where your legs were still in Joel’s lap. “I was just going to put a note on your desk, I figured you’d be at your next class already. Have you written your midterm yet?”

“Not yet,” you said, looking at your watch and you realized it was far later than you realized and you had less than 10 minutes to walk to your next class. “Shit, I have to go!”

Joel released your leg from his hold and you scrambled to collect your things as Joel cleaned up the remains of lunch.

“If you wanted to write midterms together,” Alyssa said as you slung your bag over your shoulder. “Maybe next week?”

“Sure,” you said, looking around at your desk and grabbing your gold notebook before standing next to Joel. “Email me?”

“Yup,” she smiled, looking Joel up and down. “Absolutely will. Hi.”

“Hi,” he said, smiling a little. You looked between them and fought the urge to groan. She was just Joel’s type.

“Alright, some of us have to go teach,” you said. “Out of my office so I can lock up.”

You ushered them both into the hall.

“Have fun teaching,” Alyssa waved, giving Joel a last look before heading to her office a few doors down from yours.

“Oh I’m sure I will,” you said, taking Joel’s hand and pulling him along behind you before he could start gawking at her and then you were really late for school. “See you later…”

“What was that about?” Joel laughed as you spilled out into the hall that was tight with the press of students.

“I know your type,” you said. “And I don’t have time to wait for you to be done doing your thing…”

“My ‘thing?’ And you know my type?” He asked, brows raised. “Really? Well, in that case…”

“Oh shut up,” you rolled your eyes and he laughed.

“I came by to see you, for the record,” he said. “And apparently feed you properly since you aren’t gonna do it yourself…”

“Thank you,” you said, sincerely. “That was really good. And it was really nice, hanging out with you.”

“It was good to hang out with you, too,” he said, smiling a little, his hands shoved in his pockets. “Should let you get to class though. Those minds aren’t gonna shape themselves. And I have your actual number now, not the fuckin’ hieroglyphics you tried to leave me Friday…”

“And I have yours,” you smiled back. “But I do have to go…”

“Right,” he said, leaning in and pulling you into a hug and holding you close for a second. He was warm and his chest was firm and there was something about the way his arms fit around you that was so all encompassing you were certain that you belonged there with him. That, somewhere in the universe, the root of you both had grown together and separated just to find each other again. He pulled back. “Don’t let those college kids give you too much trouble.”

“I won’t,” you said. “Don’t let Sarah give you shit.”

“Oh, I will,” he said. “Can’t help it. Bye, Goldie.”

You smiled.

“Bye, Joel.”

You were three minutes late to class. You didn’t care.

When you got home, you went to one of the boxes you hadn’t unpacked yet, one that sat in the extra bedroom that you hadn’t found a use for yet. You knew exactly which box, the one filled with things you only looked at when you were feeling especially strong or particularly weak. You sifted through old notebooks, past one of Joel’s faded band t-shirts that you’d swiped at his house when Tommy had knocked a cup of Kool-aid over when you were wearing a white shirt and Mrs. Miller and scrambled to get your top in the wash to get the stain out and then you’d never given it back, down to the shoebox of photos. You pulled it out and looked through them. Joel at 16, a confused look on his face as he lay on the wheeled contraption he used for sliding easily under his truck and you surprised him with camera, a splotch of grease on his cheek. You, 17, in Joel’s letterman that was big on him so it was massive on you, sleeves shoved up around your forearms as you stuck your tongue out at the camera. The two of you, 16, sitting on opposite sides of a restaurant booth, your legs stretched out on the benches, a basket of fries and a milkshake between you. You were flashing a peace sign at the camera and Joel was looking at you, a soft smile on his face.

It was easy to remember what friendship with Joel had been. It would be so easy to fall back into it. It felt like you were always supposed to be this way, lives so intertwined they were built on the same foundation. It had seemed an impossible thing, to blow it all apart. You’d loved it then. You missed it now. But it had blown apart and you weren’t sure you could survive losing it again.

You sighed, flipping to the back of the box to the photos from prom night. Your mom had sent them to you after you’d moved to Rhode Island and they’d languished at the photo lab for weeks. There was a simple note: “Thought you might want these,” a little heart drawn at the end.

You found the picture of the two of you together, your hand on his chest, his arm around your waist. You were looking up into his eyes and he was looking into yours, a small smile on his face, just enough for the beginnings of his dimple to show. You looked at it for a while before you signed, packing everything else away and moving to your office, propping the photo against your computer as you sat down to write.

***

Sarah had been in rare form that night. Very skeptical about why she needed to do homework at all and trying to logic her way out of needing to do it for as long as she possibly could.

“Kiddo, if you just sat down and did it, you’d be done by now,” Joel had groaned at one point.

“But if I just didn’t do it, I’d be done by now, too,” she replied.

He took a deep breath. Sometimes, this girl…

“Not on the table, Baby Girl,” he said. “You can either do your homework now and have time to watch TV before bed or you can not do your homework and fight me on it, not watch TV and get up early tomorrow to finish your homework. Up to you.”

She groaned, picking up her pencil, bouncing her leg impatiently under the dinner table. Joel wasn’t sure who was happier when the damn worksheets were done, him or his daughter.

Once Joel was certain Sarah was asleep, he went to the back of his closet and found the box that he kept stashed away. He didn’t have to look far, the two copies of your book right on top. One was signed. He didn’t open that one, just looked at it now and then, held it when he wanted to touch something you’d touched once.

The other had a worn spot on the spine, where the structure of the book had cracked and bent enough times because he’d tried to read it dozens of times but could never bring himself to go past the first page.

He liked the cover of it, certain that you’d had a hand in picking it. It was simple, an orange sun with a gilded flower in front of it, the title, Halcyon, in bold letters below the abstract image. Joel flipped past the pages of praise, the title page, the table of contents, the forward written by fucking Brad. He turned until he got to the words that were yours. He knew they were yours, he recognized the voice of you, even on paper. No matter what you said, there wasn’t an ounce of Brad there. At least, not on that page.

“The sun in Texas was hot in summer,” you’d written, “melting ice cream and asphalt in equal measure. But it was the heat of his palm that made my cheeks burn…”

He closed the book, looking at the back cover with your picture on it. Your arms were folded so that one was in front of you, the other vertical alongside your face. Your gaze was intense, a knowing smile on your lips, as though you were staring at him, teasing him, tempting him. “The answers are all here, Joel,” your picture said. “If you could just make yourself read it, you’d know.”

He put the book down and got his phone out of his pocket, finding your number in his contacts.

You answered on the second ring.

“Oh my God, you’re so demanding,” you sighed in faux exasperation.

Joel laughed.

“I know, I’m so fucking needy, don’t know how you stand me.”

You laughed back.

“What’s up?”

“Been thinking,” he began.

“You?” You said. “Really?”

“Shut up.”

You giggled.

“Anyway,” he continued. “Feel free to tell me to kick rocks but… Sounds like neither of our lives have exactly gone the way we’ve wanted them to.”

“You mean you didn’t plan on being a single dad and I didn’t plan on being divorced at 32?” You gasped. “Color me shocked!”

“We were always good at holding each other accountable,” he said, ignoring you. “Hell, you’re the only reason I graduated high school…”

“And you’re the only reason I started at the school paper,” you said. Joel smiled at that, the memory of standing outside the newspaper office while you talked to the teacher so you couldn’t back out.

“Right,” he said. “Well… what if we did that now?”

“Now?” He could hear you frowning through the phone. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said. “Why don’t we try to actually get our shit together? You make me better, always have…”

“You, too,” you said quietly but you at least sounded serious now.

“When are you supposed to have your next book done?” He asked. “Assuming there’s a contract with a deadline for that shit, right?”

“End of next year,” you sighed.

“Great,” Joel said. “Alright, let’s give ourselves to the end of next year to set ourselves straight. You finish your book, whatever else you want to get done…”

“Finalize my divorce,” you said.

“That’s a good one,” Joel said. “I’ll see about starting my own business…”

“And having a stable relationship?” You asked.

“Sounds like a good goal,” he answered, his stomach twisting a bit at that. “What do you say? We come up with a list of shit and go from there? You know we’re better when we’re on a team than when we’re not.”

You were quiet for a moment.

“Yeah,” you said eventually. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

Joel smiled a little, looking down at the box, the cover of your book looking back at him.

“It’s a deal,” he said. “We’ve got this, Goldie.”

You laughed a little.

“Hell yeah we do.”

Next Chapter

A/N: So sorry for the long wait on this! Should be weekly updates from here out for a while, promise <3

Thank you thank you thank you for reading! I'm so excited for what's coming up for these two, I just love how they love each other and yes. I can't wait to explore it all with you.

Thank you for being here! Love you!

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #halcyon

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storiesforallfandoms · 1 year

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Masterlist 3!

Here’s the third masterlist for all of my works! If you want to check out more of my work, here’s the links for masterlist one and masterlist two Imagines marked * are smutty imagines! Imagines marked ` are requests! Imagines marked ⭐ are personal favorites!

IMAGINES

STRANGER THINGS small ~ jim hopper` dance with me ~ eddie munson ⭐ starry night ~ steve harrington* (part five) ⭐ at the hip ~ steve harrington` ⭐ triple date ~ steve harrington (part six) ⭐ the freak ~ steve harrington (part seven) ⭐ oblivious ~ eddie munson ⭐

SUPERNATURAL strange human feelings ~ castiel` cleaning ~ dean winchester`

HANNIBAL into fiction` sob story ~ hannibal lecter

THE BOYS obsession ~ billy butcher ⭐ herogasm ~ soldier boy* ⭐ alone on christmas ~ billy butcher

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY life father ~ diego hargreeves` rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves’ ⭐

THE LAST OF US (HBO) friendly neighbors ~ joel miller ⭐

BARRY attraction ~ barry berkman`

AMERICAN HORROR STORY late night sins ~ xavier plympton (1984)*`

VICTORIOUS lost dog ~ tori vega`

HEMLOCK GROVE i don’t ever wanna see you with him ~ roman godfrey ⭐

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES roses are red ~ damon salvatore` ⭐

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH captive ~ blackbeard/ed teach ⭐

FUTURE MAN winner ~ josh futturman* ⭐

THE GENTLEMEN the assistant ~ raymond smith ⭐

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN spirit of nature ~ jack sparrow`

THE MAZE RUNNER i’ll keep you safe ~ newt`

MARVEL how things are now ~ marc spector and steven grant` ⭐ kneel ~ loki* the most wonderful time ~ bucky barnes

1917 early morning ~ will schofield*`

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT happy birthday ~ javi gutierrez ⭐

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S i need someone older ~ william afton ⭐

SALTBURN new toy ~ felix catton ⭐

THE SANTA CLAUSE santa’s sister-in-law ~ bernard the elf

8 MILE one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr ⭐

PETE DAVIDSON your gift` favoritism`

HARRY STYLES the perfect tree a star in the making`

MACHINE GUN KELLY baby mama` ⭐ my queen*` getting your attention*` all the mistakes` not what it looks like`

EMINEM may the best artist win*` too close for comfort` ⭐ when it’s wrong but it feels right` in the dressing room*` he’s acting different` we have to stop meeting like this` every inch*` let’s surprise the world`

GOODGUYFITZ wake up call*`

CORPSE HUSBAND letting go` they forgot` ⭐

ASHTON IRWIN home life`

CONAN GRAY pushing`

MATTHEW LILLARD accidental drunk confessions`

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE feeling good*`

ALEX TURNER more than a song*` ⭐

BO BURNHAM can’t handle this right now ⭐ look at me*`

KRISTEN STEWART special customer`

TARON EGERTON he already has my approval ⭐

ROBERT PATTINSON my favorite superhero

GERARD WAY good girl*`

GWILYM LEE history repeats itself`

RYAN GOSLING play date`

JOSEPH QUINN bad idea, right? ⭐

RANBOO fluffy haired gamer boy`

JACOB ELORDI height advantage`

SHIPS

family reunion ~ hermione granger x draco malfoy`

HEADCANONS

showing pedro pascal fan edits ⭐

NSFW ALPHABET

rook (jp capellette)*` eddie munson* ⭐ billy butcher* ⭐

#imagines #imagine #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #masterlist #number three

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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

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On the Run - Chapter 2

Summary: Y/N's birthday party doesn't go as planned as shocking discoveries and big events sends her night into a tailspin.

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47007172/chapters/118549708

Warnings: Swearing, super angst, heavy touching, etc.

Notes: This is a longer chapter, but there is a lot of action in it and lots of things going on. Thanks to anyone that is reading this!

After their dinner together, Negan took Y/N home to see that people had already set things up for her party. Even though her father wanted nothing to do with her, she assumed that he helped set up the party because he only wanted the best of the best to be seen at his home. When people started showing up at the house for her party, she started realizing that many of the faces that were showing up she barely even knew. The people that came were here for a party and not to celebrate her special day.

That fact alone made things rather mundane for her and depressing. Considering how she felt today, she wished she would have just arranged a small get together with the people she did love and care for. Instead she let her rage for her father rule her decisions which only made her feel worse. Really she wished she could have just been meeting Joel’s daughter tonight like she wanted to. Maybe that made her a weirdo, but after almost two years of having the relationship they did, Y/N thought what she had with Joel meant more than it actually did. It was saddening to know that something she put so much passion into made her feel so bad. It reminded her that Joel hadn’t gotten her a gift for her birthday and he hadn’t even bothered to write her since they separated this evening. It made her wonder if what happened at his office today was the end of their relationship in general.

With so many people getting drunk and being plastered she didn’t feel like drinking. Getting drunk would only make her drown in her sadness even more. So after being harassed about a dozen times from strangers asking her why she wasn’t drinking she just pretended she was. Holding a glass made people believe she was partying too which made them leave her alone. With how bad she was feeling, alcohol would only intensify things for her and she wanted to avoid feeling worse about things.

“There you are!” a voice boasted from beside Y/N from where she was sitting by the pool in the backyard of her father’s massive home. Music was booming, people were surrounding her partying and having a good time, but Y/N would be lying if she said she was having a good time. All that was on her mind was all the time, energy and effort she wasted into the relationship that she put into things with Joel. Gazing beside her, she saw that it was her best friend Poppy kneeling down beside her. “Babe, how much have you had to drink?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N didn’t want to be honest that she hadn’t drank at all. Poppy was the life of the party and if she knew that Y/N hadn’t been drinking she would insist on Y/N getting absolutely wasted. And Y/N didn’t feel like doing that right now. Which meant she had to lie to her best friend. “Too much.”

“I have someone that I want you to meet. His name is Jamie. He’s a soccer player, huge cock. It will make you forget that boyfriend immediately,” Poppy pointed off in the distance toward where a group of people were and Y/N immediately waved her hand in the air to dismiss the suggestion. “Come on girl. It’s your birthday and you’re just depressing the hell out of everyone here sitting here and sulking. Have sex. Enjoy yourself. Do something to have fun.”

“I don’t want to,” Y/N insisted sitting up on the seat that she had been stretched out on. Gazing back over her shoulder, she could see that at the back of the crowd Negan was leaning against the house surveying over the party. “If I had sex with someone, I wouldn’t want it to be some random ass stranger. But I truthfully don’t want to have sex with anyone right now.”

“You know, you were a lot more fun before you started dating that boyfriend of yours,” Poppy pouted, folding her arms out in front of her chest and by the way that Poppy was slurring her words together, Y/N knew she was drunk as a skunk. “You had no problem partying then.”

“Well, I want different things in my life now than I did then,” Y/N realized that she had grown up in the last few years. When she was younger, she thrived on the idea of pissing her father off by being a mess. Now, she just wanted to be something more. Her own person. And she wanted to be happy. She thought she would get that with Joel, but after today she wasn’t sure that was going to happen.

This environment used to be everything that Y/N enjoyed because it helped her forget the life she was actually living. It fogged her brain enough to help her forget that she had a shitty family where people didn’t really care for her except for her money. So partying and having fun was where she felt like she belonged, but the closer she got to being on her own, the more she realized it was just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Poppy was her best friend and she loved her, but she was pretty sure they wanted different things at this point. Finishing her degree off with a good grade appealed to Y/N and college only meant awesome parties and environments for Poppy.

Deep in her thoughts, Y/N was still watching Negan keeping a close eye on the party. Eventually in time, his eyes connected with hers and she felt her heart rate quicken. When Negan saw that she was staring out at him, he smirked and waved his hand giving a bob of his head. Even in her woes and sadness, the sight of his dimples sinking in made her smile and she lowered her head down. “I’m not the same as I used to be.”

In their small interaction, Poppy had noticed the unspoken moment between Negan and Y/N making her gasp out and place her hand in over the center of her chest while she stumbled as she moved forward toward Y/N.

“Are you hot for Negan again?” Poppy wondered reaching out to smack her hand over Y/N’s shoulder making Y/N wince. “How long are you going to let that flame go on? How many times did you try to hook up with him in the past? He was too afraid of your father to hook up with you.”

“That’s not…that’s not why we didn’t hook up,” she immediately shook her head setting the glass down on the ground beside her. “He was married Poppy and he loved his wife. I don’t think he gives a shit what my father thought.”

“Everyone cares what your father thinks,” Poppy responded taking her time to gaze over the party that was taking place. “You’re just being so boring tonight Y/N. If you want Negan to fuck you, just go ask him. I’m sure he will since you said his wife died. Maybe he needs a pick me up fuck as much as you do babe.”

“Poppy,” she let out a disgusted breath hearing her friend laugh and shrug her shoulders. Poppy was eying over Negan from where they were seated and Poppy tipped her head from side to side. “What?”

“If you don’t ask him to fuck you, I will ask him to fuck me,” Poppy vowed making Y/N groan and stand up from the chair that she was in. Even the idea of Poppy attempting to jump the one person that Y/N had steady in her life grossed her out. Pulling herself up to her feet, Y/N felt Poppy quick to follow her and she held her hand up in the air to distance herself. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just saying he’s a total babe. The older he gets the hotter he gets. I know you have a thing for the slightly graying daddy type.”

“At least I have a type, as opposed to someone who will fuck just about anything,” Y/N cringed seeing the amused expression over Poppy’s face.

“You act like that’s a bad thing. I see that as an opportunity to try a little bit of everything that is out there,” Poppy reached out to squeeze over Y/N’s shoulders not taking offense at all to Y/N’s little snarky comment. “If you tried it once in a while, I think you’d be happy.”

“I’m good,” Y/N assured her knowing that the last thing she needed right now was more unstable relationships in her life.

“I’m just saying honey there are so many people here for you and you’re stuck in your own head,” Poppy urged her to look around the party. What Poppy saw was the opposite of what Y/N saw. These were people that weren’t here for her. She knew that.

“The people aren’t here for me. They are here to party and for the free booze,” Y/N claimed with a half laugh and a shake of her head. “Let me go inside and sober up a bit. Then I’ll come back out and try to mingle with some of the people here.”

“Good,” Poppy reached out to give her a big hug before gazing back over her shoulder at the guy she was trying to sell off on Y/N earlier. “If you don’t want him…”

“He’s all yours,” Y/N nodded her head in the direction allowing her friend to bounce off after her newest exploit and Y/N headed back toward the house. Heading away from the party, she stepped before Negan seeing the way that he smiled out at her. Placing her hand over the center of his chest, she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “I’m pretending to be plastered. Please save me and get me out of here for a while.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan gave her a wink catching her when she feigned being drunk. Hooking his arm firmly around her waist, Negan led her toward the house to get her out of the big crowd. When they got inside, she pointed in the direction that she wanted him to go leading them to her bedroom. Once they were inside, she locked the door and went over to drop down on top of the bed letting out an overwhelmed sigh. Negan stood beside the bed for a moment before doing the same to lay down beside her. It made her look over at him and he gave her a big cheesy smile. “Why are you running away from your party?”

“I’m not feeling it,” she answered dropping her hand down beside her on the bed and she felt Negan’s fingers hooking with hers while they stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom together. It was quiet, but the sounds of the music outside were still booming and she groaned. “I only did this party to piss off my dad but I think he enjoys these things more than I do. I didn’t even want a party.”

“You should do what you want with life Y/N. Pretending to be someone you aren’t isn’t the way to do things,” Negan whispered making her squeeze her fingers tighter around his. “Just do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy.”

“That’s the thing Negan, I don’t think people would enjoy the real me. I thought I was special growing up, but I’m really not. I’m just some rich guy’s daughter. And truthfully, I don’t even know where my father made his money. I think my dad is actually a really bad person, but I never started to question it until recently,” she explained turning to look at Negan seeing that he had been watching her while she was talking. “My mother left for a reason, right?”

Negan said nothing, his eyes shifted and she nodded her head, “Yeah, I thought so.”

“I don’t know everything about your father Y/N. My job is you,” Negan reminded her knowing that his silence made her believe that he was confirming for her that her father was a bad person. “I just know normal people don’t need a bodyguard to watch their daughter’s every move. Even if they are rich as fuck.”

“And now he’s running for governor,” she mocked her father with a bob of her head and sighed when she slid in closer to Negan so she didn’t feel so awkward being alone. “Maybe I’m just like him.”

“You’re not,” Negan denied her claim almost immediately, his deep raspy voice drawing her attention. “You were questionable as a teenager, but you’re a good person Y/N. You want to help people. You care about people. You want to better the world not make it yours. With your father, I want to believe that he’s good even after some of the questionable things he has done. With Lucille and the cancer, he gave us a sizeable amount of money to help her after he told me that he wouldn’t give me a loan. I think he just wanted to look like a badass shithead in front of Simon, but…”

Negan heard the sound of Y/N’s breathing changing and she sat up in the bed confusing him when he did the same, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” she waved her hand in the air dismissively and he sat there for a minute thinking about her response to what he was telling her about her father. Something seemed to be circling in Negan’s mind when he turned to look at her with his right eyebrow arched. “What?”

“Was it you?” Negan cleared his throat watching the way the color drained from her face and he slid back, his eyebrows furrowing with a sense of emotions she couldn’t read. “You’re the one that gave us the money?”

“I heard you talking to my father about Lucille’s cancer and I knew how much you loved her,” she alerted him to what she had done seeing the way that his hazel eyes got bigger. It was something that she never wanted to confess to him but hearing him giving the credit to her father was just hard to hear because she knew her father was an asshole for denying Negan originally. “When he told you no, I wasn’t okay with that. I had seen my father give money to so many people that were undeserving. You had been taking care of me for so long and Lucille deserved the best care. I just lied and told my father I was taking an expensive trip. Went and stayed with Poppy for a while. That was the one time I could get away with things because you weren’t constantly on my ass. So I was able to lie then and get away with it.”

“Why…why didn’t you tell me that?” Negan searched her eyes seeing that she was getting upset and he didn’t understand why.

“Because I couldn’t save her for you,” she whimpered making a breath catch in Negan’s throat. It was when Negan’s eyes teared over that she had to force herself to look away from him. “They say money can help anyone, but she still died. I couldn’t save her.”

“You’re not a miracle worker Y/N. She had pancreatic cancer,” Negan pointed out watching her move over toward the window and he stood up from the bed following her not far behind. “The survival rate for that is incredibly small. But what you did do extended her life. With that money I was able to make her comfortable. We had more time together alone so I could be with her. That money helped us. I just wish you would have told me.”

“It doesn’t matter where the money came from,” she concluded hating that money was such a big deal in life but she knew it was. It’s why she didn’t see giving Joel money as a problem when he asked her. Sometimes giving someone money would help save someone and she was hoping to help people instead of taking from people like her father had likely done. “I’m the daughter of a piece of shit Negan. If he turned down helping you and your dying wife who knows what else my father has done. I can’t escape the sins of my father no matter how hard I try. I couldn’t even help your wife. I can’t make people fall in love with me. I think my father just hangs over my head and he will be there for the rest of my life.”

“Hey,” Negan turned her to face him seeing that she was actually genuinely upset about this whole thing. Cupping her face in his hands, he shook his head and traced his thumbs over the sides of her face. “Your father does not define you. People might make you think he does, but he doesn’t. You are your own person. Your heart is so fucking big.”

Lifting her head up, she could see that Negan’s eyes were still damp making her heart break. The way he swept at the tears over her face made her pulse leap and she felt a lump growing in her throat. With the closeness of the two of them and the way he was staring down at her she felt a chill flood her body. “You can kiss me.”

“What?” Negan smirked thinking that she was joking at first when he pulled his hands away from her face and slid his hands into his pockets. The way he pulled back and away made her face flush over and she let out a defeated breath.

“God, I am so stupid,” she huffed, moving over toward the bed to drop back down on the side of it. Grabbing the pack of cupcakes that Negan had gotten for her, she popped open the container and peeled back the wrapper on one of them to take a big bite. “Why the fuck would you want to kiss me? I’m sorry. I’m so fucking dumb right now and I’m misreading all the signals.”

“Y/N…” Negan sat down on the bed beside her, reaching out to place his hand in over her shoulder in what she assumed was his way of comforting her and turning her down. Before he could say anything, she took what was rest of the cupcake and shoved it into his mouth surprising him with the gesture making his hazel eyes grow wide. Attempting to chew what she had shoved in his mouth, Negan tipped his head back and saw the way she smiled when he spoke with a mouthful. “What the hell was that?”

“I felt like whatever you were about to say would have made this whole thing awkward, so I stopped you before you did,” she clarified making Negan snort and reach up to try to wipe away at the frosting that was left over his face. “You missed a whole lot of it.”

“Oh?” Negan felt her leaning forward to wipe at his short salt and pepper colored beard in attempts to collect the frosting. A gasp fell from her throat when she felt Negan smearing some of the frosting that he had on his fingers across her face. “You’re welcome.”

“You dick,” she hissed going to reach for the tissues that were beside her bed, but the sensation of Negan cupping her face in his hands was felt when he led her mouth to his. It felt like the world stood still when Negan’s lips claimed hers in a long draw out kiss that made her eyes to close. Leaning forward closer to the kiss, she enjoyed the way that his thumbs stroked at the side of her face in a comforting sweep. The taste of the cupcake still lingered over his lips and when she pulled away, she took notice of the way that Negan’s eyes stared down at her lips. “Wow.”

“Not bad for a first kiss,” Negan dragged his thumb across her bottom lip, his eyebrows bouncing up before a wicked smirk tugged at his lips. “Although, it was a bit too fucking sweet for me.”

“Oh, ha-ha,” she picked up on the fact that they had frosting still over their faces knowing that he was making a joke.

Going to speak up again, she was silenced by his lips covering hers again and she kissed him back this time enjoying the way that his fingers stroked through her hair in an intimate fashion which took her breath away when she pulled back to look him over. Negan’s eyelids were heavy, his breathing loud while the warmth of it drew chills down her spine. Pushing forward she kissed Negan’s lips, her hand settling in against the side of his neck. Parting her lips, she felt the warmth of Negan’s tongue brushing against hers making her whimper into his mouth.

Sinking her fingers into his hair, she sucked faintly at his tongue and leaned back onto her bed using her free hand to pull him in over her. Carefully Negan followed her movements and braced his weight on his hands when she palmed down in over the side of his face. Nuzzling his nose in against hers, Negan was careful when he laid in over her making a loud exhale fall from her lips.

“There is so much more to you than you think there is,” Negan whispered tracing her bottom lip with his thumb and she pressed a faint kiss against the pad of his thumb. Taking his thumb between her parted lips, she nibbled at it before tracing her tongue over it. “Y/N…”

Curling her fingers around the back of his neck, she led him back to her for them to kiss and she felt her body getting hot all over. Kiss after addictive kiss left her wanting more so when Negan pulled back, she felt her body shaking, “You’re a good kisser.”

“Thanks,” Negan smirked, his nose wrinkling in amusement. Reaching for a tissue, Negan helped to clean the rest of the frosting from her face before wiping at his own. Tossing the tissue he stared down at her and sighed while he stroked over her features. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

A surprised breath fell from his throat when she placed her hand over the center of his chest to give it a small amount of pressure to get him onto his back. Crawling in over him, she heard his nervous exhale fill the air when she rest over his hips. Swallowing down hard, he watched the way her palms slid up from his hips toward his lower abdomen and he bit down on his bottom lip. With the warmth of their skin-to-skin contact, he tipped his head back and closed his eyes enjoying the way that it felt to have her touching his slender torso. With her fingers teasing through the thick dark hair covering his flesh, Negan could see that her eyes were full of want and lust. Licking his lips, Negan closed his eyes and let out a tense breath. “We should stop.”

“No,” she shook her head getting the material of Negan’s shirt balled up at the center of his chest finally getting to see the length of his long torso. Lowering down, she pressed hot wet kisses over Negan’s chest making him take in a sharp breath. Teasing her tongue over Negan’s nipple had his back arching up toward her and his moan drove her crazy when she nipped at his flesh. Kissing down over Negan’s abdomen had him breathing unevenly when she reached his pants. Trying to unhook his belt, she felt Negan’s hands grabbing a hold of hers and he shook his head. “It’s okay.”

“No…” Negan hushed her sitting up on her bed allowing his shirt to fall back into place. Trying to gain back his sense of control, Negan kept his hands over her shoulders and could see the confusion in her eyes. “We shouldn’t be doing this. Not now.”

“It’s okay Negan. You’ve been so good to me,” she moved forward to kiss him again, flicking her tongue out over his bottom lip making him groan out. Dropping her right hand down she pressed it over the center of Negan’s pants palming in over his body making Negan’s eyes come to a close. His lips parted and a sharp exhale fell from them. Leaning in she kissed down over his jawline and could feel him getting hard beneath the material of his pants. “Just let me show you some appreciation for how good you’ve been to me.”

“Y/N,” his moan was rasp and quiet while she caressed over his length. With her left hand she tugged at his belt working to pull it open. When she got the material apart and reached for the button in his pants, Negan hopped up from the bed and headed over toward the window to try to catch his breath. “Fuck, fuck.”

“Negan?” she felt her heart hammering in her chest and her throat went dry. Hearing the sounds of him pulling his belt back together made her feel lost for words. “Am I not appealing to you? I don’t understand.”

“God, that’s not it,” Negan commented turning on his heel to look back at her as he caressed his hand down over his face. Stress flooded his handsome, chiseled features and more than anything she wanted to be kissing him again. “You are sad and depressed. It’s your birthday and if I let something happen, I would be taking advantage.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You would be making me feel not so fucking pathetic,” she stood up from the bed throwing her hand out hearing him huff.

“You love Joel,” Negan reminded her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat making the expression over her face change. Folding her arms out in front of her chest, she looked down and let out a sigh. “I’d be a piece of shit to allow you to do what you were just about to fucking do.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” she confessed making Negan let out a hesitant breath before tipping his head from side to side.

“It’s a bit different,” Negan countered knowing that she had a crush on him from the start but crushing on someone and loving someone that you thought you were in a relationship with was completely different. “I think you’re beautiful. Lord knows how much I care about you. I just know the difference between right and fucking wrong. And as hard as my dick is right now, I’m gonna suffer the blue balls because I know you enough to know that you don’t need this. What you need right now is a friend.”

“I don’t know, the kissing was pretty good,” she conceded to that fact making Negan chuckle and nod his head. Even though she knew her body wanted something different, she stepped forward and held her arms out. Without question he accepted the hug and squeezed her tightly in his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Negan kissed at her temple squeezing her tightly in his arms. Even though her body was telling her something else, she knew that Negan was right. Sleeping with Negan would only make things more complicated. Leave it to Negan to be the only smart person in her life that thought about her future instead of right now. A familiar ring tone started to play from Y/N’s pocket making Negan groan out when he recognized who it was. “Speak of the devil.”

Immediately Y/N pulled away from the hug and reached for her pocket. Pulling out the phone Negan could see that it was Joel calling her and the excitement that flooded into her eyes made Negan sigh loudly and step back. That was exactly why he wouldn’t let things go forward tonight. How Y/N felt about Joel was all he needed to see in order for him to back off.

Y/N took a minute to gather herself before answering, “Hello?”

“Can you break away from your party?” Joel’s southern drawl rumbled at the other end of the phone. It made her heart skip a beat when she stepped back and away from Negan. Negan’s head lowered, his jaw flexing when she was visibly excited about Joel calling her. “Because I’m outside.”

“Bullshit,” she choked going to the window to see that Joel’s truck was indeed outside in front of her house.

“Meet me out front,” Joel instructed her before hanging up. Sliding her phone back into her pocket, Y/N realized that she had to be smiling a ridiculous amount.

“Joel is here,” she informed Negan who simply just smirked and nodded. Heading for the door, she stopped when she went to reach for the handle and cleared her throat. Looking back over her shoulder she could see that Negan’s face was flushed and he seemed to be contemplating things in his head. “Negan?”

“Yeah?” Negan didn’t look up, his voice was quiet making her panic.

“Are we okay?” she inquired making Negan slowly lift his head and give her a nod. “What just happened.”

“I know what it was. It’s an emotional day for you and sometimes that makes us do questionable things,” Negan assured her that everything was okay, feigning a smile. That’s what he did a lot lately. Smiled through everything knowing that it would make people believe him that everything was okay. “Don’t worry about me.”

There was so much she should have said, but she didn’t. She just pulled open the door and noticed that Negan was following her down the stairs toward the front door. When they got to the door she stopped and looked back at Negan. “Could you hang back a little bit?”

“I won’t be up your ass,” Negan stressed following her outside and she looked to see that he leaned against the front of the house. The expression over Negan’s face showed that he wasn’t enthused with the whole thing, but when he pointed his fingers forward, she looked behind her to see that Joel was getting out of the truck.

In one hand he had a cake and in the other he had a bouquet of flowers. Stepping forward, she could see Joel’s dark eyes staring out at her and she couldn’t help but smile, “What are you doing here?”

“I heard it was someone’s birthday and figured I would drop in,” Joel explained with an uneven breath, his head tipping down. The way his chocolate brown eyes were staring out at her took her breath away when he held out the flowers for her to take. When she accepted them, Joel weakly smiled and nodded toward the cake. “Truthfully? I reckon what you said today stuck with me because I started talking to Sarah tonight about you. We were watching a movie together and I guess I was acting different. She asked me what was up and I told her that there was a woman that I was seeing. It was her birthday and I hadn’t done anything nice for it because I didn’t know what to call the feelings that I had for her.”

“You talked about me to your daughter?” she couldn’t help but swoon hearing that bit knowing that it was all she had really wanted from the start. Joel gave her a nod when he held the cake forward for her to look at it. It was a sheet cake that said happy birthday with her name on it with a few balloons that were piped in with icing. “What’s this?”

“Well, it’s a store-bought cake that she demanded me to get for you. I know it’s not gourmet like something you would get normally, but Sarah insisted…” Joel motioned her to wait putting the cake in the back of his truck bed so he could reach for something in his back pocket. “She also makes these little bracelet things, I uh, I don’t know what to call them. I have one…” Joel held his wrist up to show that he had one as well. “She wanted me to give you one for your birthday.”

“This is from your daughter?” she questioned with a half-smile, stepping forward when Joel worked to get the bracelet around her wrist by tying it on her. Once she had it on, she pulled it back to look it over and she could see that Joel seemed proud of it. “You really talked to your daughter about me?”

“Well, I left out some details about our relationship,” Joel concluded with a nervous smile, his eyebrows furrowing when he reached out to grab a hold of Y/N’s hand that wasn’t holding onto the flowers that he had given her. “But yeah, I talked to Sarah about you. I know that a cake and flowers isn’t a great gift. I should have thought something out for your birthday. I’m sorry I didn’t do that. I…care about you Y/N. I care about you a lot.”

Gasping, Joel felt her jumping into his arms and a laugh fell deep from within his throat when she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders to give him a big hug. Spinning her in his arms, Joel couldn’t help but laugh pressing a kiss over her lips when she pulled back to look at him.

“You’re happy?” Joel inquired, his eyebrow arching in curiosity while her free hand reached up to caress through his messy dark hair.

“So happy,” she answered moving down from his arms to place her flowers he had gotten her by the cake he put in the back of his truck. “This is the best gift I could have asked for.”

“Good,” Joel stepped forward tracing his thumb over the side of her face making her tip her head back to look up at him. Bringing them closer together, Joel wrapped his left arm loosely around her waist seeing the awe that was in her eyes. “I’m an idiot.”

“So am I,” she whispered knowing that she had been doing something stupid only moments earlier because she was in such a saddened state from what happened between the two of them. “Listen, I know I should have been more relaxed about things. I was being clingy and too needy. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to say that I love you to me if you don’t feel it.”

“No, don’t blame yourself,” Joel hushed her, leaning to press a kiss over her lips that made her step up onto the tips of her toes. Nibbling at her bottom lip, Joel growled when he leaned back and cleared his throat. “I want to talk to you about something. It’s kind of serious. Do you think you can sneak away with me for a while?”

“Of course,” she looked back over her shoulder to see Negan staring out at the two of them and she suddenly felt guilty noticing the expression over his face. Clearing her throat uneasily, she stepped back and caressed her thumbs over the back of Joel’s hands. “I’m going to go somewhere with Joel.”

“You don’t have to follow, I’ve got her,” Joel assured Negan seeing the way Negan’s head tipped and his jaw flexed. “I know it’s your job, but I’ve got her. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

“Joel Miller,” a voice boomed from behind them making Joel turn on his heel. With a nervous breath Y/N felt Joel releasing her when she noticed that her father had just gotten home from the fundraiser that he was at. It was surprising because she didn’t think her father would be home this early. With an amused rumble of a sound, her father clapped his hands together before pointing at Joel. “It is you. God, you’ve gotten a bit of gray in your beard and your hair, but that’s you! What the hell are you doing here?”

“He’s here for me,” Y/N clarified reaching down to hook her fingers with Joel’s seeing the way that Joel just completely shut down in front of her father. It made her want to protect Joel but is response to her father surprised her. Joel always acted like he wasn’t someone that knew a lot about people like her father, so to see him react so strangely to him made her worry. “Joel is my boyfriend.”

“What?” Philip snapped, his eyes gazing between Joel and Y/N before he let out a disgusted breath. “I knew you didn’t have taste Y/N, but sleeping with the help?”

“What?” she breathed out, gazing over her shoulder at Joel to see that his eyes were looking down toward the ground and his jaw was flexed. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t remember?” Philip snapped his fingers and in the distance Y/N could see that Negan was getting closer noticing that the situation was starting to get weird. “I know you were young, but he was around a lot for quite some time.”

“No, I only have been in a relationship with him for almost two years. I think you’re confused,” she alerted her father looking over at Joel who had lifted his head, his eyes connecting with hers. There was something different in the way that he was looking at her and she let out a hesitant sound. “Wait, how do you know his name? I’ve never introduced the two of you or brought him here. And I know Negan didn’t tell you.”

“Honey, you don’t remember when I had this house built?” Philip pointed back to the huge home that was behind them and he was rather dramatic in the way he said it. “Young Joel here was who we hired to do it. Well, he’s not young anymore, but he was then. In fact Joel was here for most of the house being built before I fired him.”

Slowly releasing Joel’s hand, Y/N could see that Joel’s face was scrunching up in anger, his face turning red when her father stepped in closer to him clearly trying to piss him off, “Joel here was the man in charge. Had an incredible vision and he was the main contractor that I hired on. Everything was going well until I showed up one day unannounced to see that the man in charge wasn’t here. When he misses a day of work, I know that he can’t be that serious about this job.”

“My daughter was sick,” Joel reminded Philip, his voice deep and angry while Philip made a tsking sound to almost mock Joel. “You fired me for missing half a day to take care of my daughter and then you never paid me.”

“Took your whole crew too,” Philip chuckled seeing the way that Joel’s expression grew deep in fury. Philip waved his hand in the air in a very dramatic manner before laughing out. “You know Joel here tried to sue me for it too. My lawyers chewed his ass up. Someone as insignificant and unimportant as Joel Miller wasn’t going to leave any kind of impact on my life.”

“Stop it,” Y/N asked of her father seeing his face wrinkle up in amusement while he looked between Y/N and Joel. Her father was upsetting Joel and she hated the things that he was saying to him.

“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You’ve held onto that shit for this long?” Philip questioned, his eyes locking with Joel’s again whose body was completely tense and his face twisting with anger. “Are you fucking my daughter for some kind of sense of revenge? Oh Joel. Please. That’s not revenge. I already know she’s an idiot.”

“Hey,” Negan spoke up seeing the way that Philip looked back at him and Negan could see that Y/N was getting upset hearing everything that was just revealed to her. “Enough.”

“I’m assuming you didn’t tell me about this because you didn’t know?” Philip pointed between Y/N and Joel. “Then again you weren’t here when that happened so I can’t exactly blame you. That was long before your time. I wish you would have let me know that my daughter was sleeping with the scum though.”

“Listen here,” Joel growled, stopping when he felt Negan’s hand placing in over the center of his chest to keep him back so he didn’t get in trouble for touching Philip. “You’re a piece of shit.”

“No, I’m not. I’m the future governor, Joel,” Philip snorted stepping in closer to Joel making Joel tip his head back so Joel could stare up at him with his angry eyes. “You’re the piece of shit. You’re nothing. And you’re fucking the embarrassment of the family. Did you really think that would affect me in any way?”

“No, he didn’t know that I was your daughter,” Y/N tried to reason, shaking her head making her father laugh and his nose wrinkle. Joel’s body tensed up and he looked back over his shoulder at her. “You didn’t know he was my father, right?”

Joel said nothing leaving Philip to release a big belly laugh when she clearly realized what he was saying was true, “God, I knew you were stupid, but this is a new level honey,” Philip chastised his daughter rolling his eyes and looking back toward the house. Shifting on his feet, Philip started to head back toward the house taking slow back steps with every move he made. Tossing his hands up, Philip sighed and his men followed him as well. “As far as I’m concerned Joel, you can have her. I don’t want her to be part of this family anymore anyways. Enjoy both of you being a fucking joke together.”

“Don’t,” Negan stopped Joel from going after Philip knowing that it would only cause nothing but nightmares for Joel if he went have Philip and tried to hit him. “Your life is not worth whatever it is that he did. You do not want to fuck with him.”

“Let go of me,” Joel hissed pushing at Negan feeling like he was going to explode with the way that Philip had just talked to him. Everything inside of him wanted to attack Philip, but he knew that Negan was right. It would only fuck his life up all over again if he tried to attack Philip.

Once Philip was inside the house, Negan released Joel and looked back to see that Y/N had fallen back against Joel’s truck and she looked like she was on the verge of an absolute breakdown, “Joel?”

Turning on his heel, Joel looked back at Y/N seeing the way her eyes were swelling up with tears, “Please tell me it was a coincidence. That you didn’t know that I was his daughter at first and you only found out later.”

Uneven breaths fell from Joel’s throat, his head lowering when he heard Y/N start to cry since his lack of words said everything for her, “Holy shit. I really am the dumbest piece of shit, aren’t I?”

All that was heard was the music from the party at the back of the house and she stepped forward to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand, “So was I really that good of a student or did you just see my name and knew that you had to do something to get back at my father?”

Joel hung his head low, simply shrugging his shoulders and she felt her heart racing. At that moment she felt like she could die with the way that she was feeling, “I’m not talented like you said I am, are I? It was all fake.”

“You’re talented,” Joel whispered, his lips parting when he shook his head. “But you’re nothing I haven’t seen before. You’re the top of your class. But there are others just as good as you.”

The way Joel’s eyebrows furrowed and his dark eyes slowly lifted up to stare out at her made her let out a hurt sound, “It doesn’t matter though. Your father’s name attached to yours will get you a job anywhere you want.”

“Wow,” she stammered feeling the daggers in that statement being thrown at her. Those words made the air leave her lungs and she felt pathetic hearing everything she just did. “Everything is starting to make sense.”

“No, it’s not,” Joel responded, stepping forward but it made her step back and away from him. “Yes, it started off in a very poor light. I was trying to give it back to your father. Fucking his precious daughter. Getting her to fund my company that he fucking ruined. I know that’s shit, but the more time I spent with you the more I started to realize that I actually like you.”

“So you didn’t like me from the start?” she pushed seeing Joel’s jaw flexing and his hands went straight to his hips. “Now the rough sex makes sense. It was you getting your anger out and using me to do it. I just thought that was the way you liked things so I did whatever you liked to make you happy.”

“I don’t think that’s something we should talk about in front of Negan,” Joel felt uncomfortable that Y/N’s personal bodyguard was hearing everything she was saying.

“Like he doesn’t fucking know,” she screamed at Joel making Joel shift on his feet and he looked flustered to be standing before her right now. “I didn’t even stand out to you, did I? It was just the name.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say here,” Joel reasoned with her, throwing his right hand up hearing her crying. “Your father fucked me over. I lost my company. I lost a shitload of money. It took forever for me to fix my life. I had a daughter and your father completely fucked me and my family over.”

“So that’s why you asked for the money?” she shuddered seeing the way that Joel gulped and she shook her head. “So was this fake the whole time? Were you just pretending in order to get closer to me so you could fuck with my father? Get the money back that you were owed?”

“Yes and no,” Joel went to step forward to touch her, but Negan stepped between the two of them and shoved into Joel’s chest.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Negan warned making Joel scoff and give his attention to Negan.

“Don’t start with me you fucking stalker. You get paid to be a fucking stalker so you don’t have a fucking say,” Joel shoved Negan back making Negan snarl. “Why don’t you go run off after your master and report back to him like a good boy.”

A grunt filled the air when Negan threw his fist out and hit Joel firmly in the face making Joel stumble backwards with a grunt, “I have been wanting to do that all fucking day.”

It took Joel a moment to gather himself before a roar filled the air and Joel launched himself at Negan tackling him to the ground hard. Grunts and scoffs were heard while the two fought on the ground before Y/N and she was at a complete loss not knowing what to do, “Stop.”

Neither of them listened to her as she tried to reach down to grab a hold of Joel who had just gotten Negan onto his back. Her arms hooked around Joel’s so he couldn’t hit Negan and she let out a grunt when Joel shoved her back making her trip over her own two feet hitting the ground hard.

“Fuck,” Joel scrambled to try to help her get up since she took a rather hard fall.

“Stop,” she begged of Negan when he went to go after Joel after Joel had helped her up from the ground. Standing between the two of them, she didn’t know what she was even doing right now, but she didn’t need the two of them fighting. They were disheveled but other than maybe a few red marks they hadn’t completely destroyed one another yet. “Joel, do you really care about me? Did you really tell your daughter about me?”

“I didn’t lie about that,” Joel scoffed holding up his wrist to compare the two bracelets. “Yes, I talked to my daughter about you. Did this relationship start off the way you think it did? Yeah. It did. I saw your name, I knew who you were and I took advantage. I just got lucky that you obviously have daddy issues and you were attracted to older men. It took a while, but you rubbed off on me Y/N. You’re…special. I know that you are. I took advantage of a good person which is why…”

A loud popping sound filled the air making all of them jump and Joel looked back over his shoulder where the sound came from, “the fuck was that?”

“Hey,” Negan reached for Joel getting him to turn back to face them and he saw that there was blood over Joel’s face. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m not…” Joel reached up to wipe at his face only to look up when realization struck him.

“Joel?” Y/N breathed out touching her arm after she jolted back. Seeing the blood that was over her fingers made her let out a wince when she looked to her arm to see that she had a deep flesh wound there. “Negan?”

“Get down,” Negan tackled both Joel and Y/N to the ground to the best of his ability when multiple gunshots started to fill the air and it was obvious by where they just shot that they were going for Y/N. Forcing both Joel and Y/N’s heads down, Negan did his best to survey the area. Philip’s bodyguards were starting to surround the place while the shots continued and they were aiming for Y/N. “We’ve gotta move. Go!”

They all scrambled to brace themselves against Joel’s truck and glass shattered above them from the windows of Joel’s truck being shot out. They all had their heads covered when Negan tried to look back, but another window got shot out, “Fuck.”

“What is happening?” Y/N felt her body trembling from the adrenaline that was flooding her veins after being shot. Looking next to her she saw Negan pulling out a gun and she fell back in against Joel. “What the hell is that?”

“I’m your bodyguard Y/N. You had to know that I had a fucking gun,” Negan snapped, reaching out to make sure that both Joel and Y/N were down when he popped out enough to shoot back at whoever was shooting in the distance from the trees. It was enough to stop the shooting when he nodded over toward his Mustang that was a few cars down. “We have to get to my Mustang so we can get out of here.”

“My truck is right here,” Joel hissed out going to get up but another shot filled the air and he dropped back to the ground.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not genius, but your fucking truck is Swiss fucking cheese right now,” Negan snarled hearing Joel let out a roar. Motioning Joel and Y/N to crawl first, Negan popped up again to shoot off his gun a few times as warning shots. “Go, go, go!”

The lack of shooting alerted Negan to the fact that the shooter was likely reloading his weapon and this was their only chance to get away. When he got to the car, Joel tugged on the handle and looked back when it wouldn’t open, “Can you drive?”

“Of course I can fucking drive,” Joel snarled when Negan tossed him his keys and Joel opened the door to crawl into the car having a bit of trouble getting across to the driver’s seat.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” someone questioned from behind them making both Negan and Y/N look back to see that Poppy was standing there with a glass of champagne in her hand. “You’re supposed to be opening your gifts, yet you’re out here crawling on the ground with Negan?”

“Poppy, what are you doing?” Negan snapped seeing Y/N’s best friend standing around like nothing was happening. A rumble of an engine starting was heard and Negan could tell that Joel started the car. “Get out of here.”

“Get down Poppy,” Y/N urged her friend seeing the way that Poppy tipped her head to the side confused.

“Listen, I get it you’re doing something weird and different because you had your heart broken, but the two of us have never been separated on your birthday,” Poppy slurred jumping when the glass in her hand shattered and she looked to it with a frown. “Well that was strange.”

“Fuck it, get in the backseat,” Negan pushed the seat forward and shoved Poppy into the backseat behind Joel. When Negan started to push at Y/N to get her in the backseat as well, he could feel her fighting him on it. “What?”

“I’m claustrophobic,” she reminded him hearing Negan groan out when he tried to push her into the back again. “Negan you know I hate tight spaces. I’m going to freak the fuck out and…”

Shots started to fill the air again when Joel smacked the back of the seat, “Unless you want to fucking die, I suggest you get in the car because it’s you they are aiming for.”

“Get in the bloody car,” Poppy called out making Y/N push forward into the backseat and Negan scrambled to get the seat back into place before hopping in. Even before Negan had the door closed Joel was gunning it to get the fuck out of there. The sound of the back window shattering was heard making Negan snarl out as he got his gun ready. “Are we being shot at?”

“Yes Poppy, we are being shot at,” Negan snapped from the front seat, pulling open the glove compartment to grab another gun that was inside making Joel hiss out and hit the wheel with his hand. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I just can’t believe this is fucking happening,” Joel exclaimed with an angered breath, using the rearview mirror to see that there was an SUV following them making him hiss out. “On our ass Negan.”

“I see it,” Negan announced rolling the window down, looking to Joel with a huff. “Put some gas on it Joel. I thought you were from fucking Texas.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? That I’m used to car chases and fucking getting shot at?” Joel screamed out at Negan with a hiss when he pressed the gas pedal further down making all of them jolt at how fast he was starting to drive now. “I don’t want to kill anyone.”

“Then drive good,” Negan demanded hearing the sound of a gun going off making all of them duck down. Reaching behind him, Negan urged both Y/N and Poppy to lower their heads down to keep them safe. “Stay down.”

“Holy shit, you’re bleeding. A lot,” Poppy finally realized the blood that was covering Y/N’s arm and she let out a surprised squeal when another shot went off and hit the car this time. Luckily the bullet didn’t hit any of them. “Were you shot?”

“Yeah Poppy, I was,” Y/N alerted her friend seeing Negan changing his positioning and she saw him pushing his upper half out the window so he could shoot at the SUV that was following them. “Joel, grab him!”

“I have to drive,” Joel retorted with an annoyed breath, reaching out to grab a hold of Negan’s pants to make sure that he didn’t fall out of the car while he controlled the car with his left hand. Each gunshot had the three in the car ducking down not sure whether it was coming from Negan or the car behind them. With a final shot, Joel could see in the rearview mirror that Negan had shot out the front wheel tire the SUV making it swerve and flip with a loud shattering sound. “Fucking hell…”

“That was amazing,” Poppy boasted looking back over her shoulder, jumping when she heard the booming sound of the car setting fire after it was hit by another car. “I feel like I’m in a James Bond movie right now and this is incredible.”

“This is not a movie Poppy,” Y/N hollered at her friend feeling winded after she did it and she looked to her arm. “I think I’m going to pass out.”

“What?” Joel quipped looking back over his shoulder at Y/N seeing the blood that was covering her arm making him panic. “Negan, she’s bleeding out.”

“No she isn’t. It’s a flesh wound. When we get somewhere I can help her, but right now we have to focus because…” a groan fell from his throat when a car hit them from behind and another side swiped them trying to get the car to flip, but Joel was able to control the wheel. “Fucking hell.”

“Why are these people trying to kill you?” Joel shot a look back at Y/N seeing that she looked pale and he felt his throat get dry. “Hey, focus.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t do anything, the only thing I can fucking think of is my dad,” she got out letting out a frustrated breath when she heard Negan shooting again and she tried to cover her ears feeling like she was about to have a panic attack with everything that was happening. “He’s only running for the governor. I don’t understand.”

“There’s a reason your father is surrounded by a security team babe,” Poppy pushed making Y/N swallow down hard. “The political world thinks your father is going to win the run for governor and quickly make his way up to the white house. He’s incredibly powerful.”

“You know politics?” Negan scoffed looking back at Y/N’s friend that he found to be a bit flighty, finding himself surprised when the sound of multiple gunshots filled the air making them all duck. “Joel, get us the fuck out of here!”

“I’m trying,” Joel shouted back at Negan dodging traffic the best he could on the highway in the middle of the night. Noticing that the two cars that were chasing them were starting to come up along the sides of the car made Joel grasp tightly to the wheel.

“This is a Mustang Joel, you can outdrive these people,” Y/N called out from the backseat hearing the hushing sound that came from Joel when he seemed to be waiting for the right moment. Both cars were swerving, hitting the Mustang to try to get it off the road.

“Brace yourselves,” Joel instructed slamming on the brakes making the wheels squeal and they watched the two cars smash into each other causing one of them to flip. The Mustang came to a complete stop as they watched the car that had flipped spinning out. The one that didn’t flip was spinning about before it turned to start heading back for them.

“Fuck this,” Negan shoved open the door making all of them tense up when he left with one of his handguns, leaving the other on the ground of the car.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Joel tried to reach out to grab Negan to get him back in, but Negan was already out of the car.

“Get back in the car,” Y/N demanded seeing the final remaining car was starting to gun it in their direction. Trying to grab a hold of Negan’s shirt to get him back in, she was only met with three loud booms making them all jump when she saw Negan shoot the driver’s side of the windshield. There was no questioning that Negan hit the driver when it swerved off the road and smashed into the wall. They were all silent when Negan got back into the car and gazed back at them. That was the last car that had been chasing them, but everything was lingering between the four of them. “You just killed that person.”

“I’m sure we killed more than one of them,” Negan reached for his phone putting in an address and tossing his phone to Joel who was staring out at him with his nervous brown eyes. “Get us here. Now.”

Without question, Joel started driving and a silence surrounded them showing that they were all shaken up from what was happening. Joel cleared his throat and gazed over at Negan with an uncomfortable breath, “First shoot out and person you’ve killed?”

“Yeah,” Negan swallowed down hard, his eyebrow arching up as he let out a deep rumble of an overwhelmed sound. Negan lowered his head into his hands and Joel could see that the girls looked terrified in the backseat.

“Where the hell are we going?” Y/N questioned, shakily reaching her fingers up to see that she was still bleeding pretty good.

“One of your father’s safe houses,” Negan explained with a shallow breath, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “It’s the one he always gave me the address to if something went wrong. It’s secluded and by the water. We’ll be safe there.”

“Well so much for your birthday party,” Poppy spoke up making all of them tense when she made all of them uncomfortable. “I got you something really good too.”

Instead of responding, they all remained silent as Joel drove to the location. Negan wasn’t lying when he said it was in the middle of nowhere. It was deep in the woods and when he got to the address, the driveway they went up was a winding, long path. It was right off the water and big, just like what Y/N would expect from her father and she let out a disgusted breath when she saw it.

Once they parked, all of them were eager to get out of the car and Y/N braced herself back against the Mustang. Poppy had headed over toward the porch in front of the door to sit. Negan was knelt down in front of the car, his head buried in his hands and Joel was pacing.

“I have to go home,” Joel announced, throwing his hands up in the air drawing Negan’s attention when Negan lifted his expressive eyes to stare up at the smaller man. “I have a child at home. I shouldn’t be here.”

“You can’t go home. You were there and god knows who is involved in this. I originally thought there was one single shooter, but this is a big fucking thing Joel,” Negan stood up from where he was knelt down and dragged his right hand down over his face with a stressed breath. “Your truck was there.”

“What are you trying to say? You think these people would try going to my home?” Joel’s voice grew in anger, his brown eyes gazing between both Negan and Y/N. “Then I have to go home! I have a daughter and a brother at home. They could be in danger. I have to go back to them.”

“They are in more danger if you are with them,” Negan claimed reaching for his phone from Joel to look for a number. “I’m going to call someone that I trust more than anyone to take care of them. I’ll have him come and get your family. Take them to a place where no one else can find them. I swear to you. They will be safe.”

“No, no fucking way,” Joel shook his head stepping forward when Negan held his finger up to silence him. “They are the safest with me. No one can protect them better than me. I didn’t sign up for this fucking shit. I shouldn’t have even been at that fucking party.”

“Trust me. This is a guy that was a cop. He won’t let anything happen to them. He owes me one for saving his life,” Negan addressed Joel with a shake of his head. “We have a complicated relationship, but Rick Grimes is one man I can promise you will keep your family safe. I’ll have him go get them and then we can have your daughter call you so you know she is okay. I promise you, everything is going to be okay.”

“You can’t promise something like that,” Joel snarled making Negan shrug his shoulders while he was talking on the phone with someone on the other end. Hearing Negan telling the person on the other end his address made Joel let out a nervous sound. “How the hell do you know my address by heart?”

“It’s my job to know everything about you,” Negan rumbled making Joel let out an overwhelmed sound and he started pacing. Then it made Negan think about how he had no idea that Joel worked for Philip previously. “Well, most things.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Y/N tried to move out to Joel to comfort him, placing her hand in over his shoulder letting out a gasp when Joel pulled away from her like her touch was fire.

“Don’t touch me,” Joel warned making Y/N stumble backwards, her eyes staring out at him with confusion when he ran his hand down the side of his face. “This is your fucking fault for guilting me into showing up at your party. I’m now looped into this fucking thing and I have nothing to do with your miserable fucking family.”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N apologized feeling guilty that this was happening in general, lowering her head.

“I knew I should have never fucking done this to begin with. All your family has ever done is fuck up my whole life. I should have known that starting something with you would have just landed me in a fucked-up position like this,” Joel continued to yell making Poppy stand up from where she was seated when he stepped in closer to Y/N. “I hate your whole fucking family and all you people have ever done is put me in shit my whole life.”

“Hey,” Poppy put a distance between Joel and Y/N, her hand placing in over the center of Joel’s chest to keep him back. “I know that you’re worried about your daughter and that’s okay, but I can’t imagine that Y/N had any kind of idea that this would happen. She has no idea the kind of person her father is. If she would have known your family could be at risk, I promise you that she would have never done something like this.”

“Don’t try to lecture me about someone that I’ve been around for almost two years,” Joel bickered with Poppy, his dark eyes locking with Y/N’s when she lifted her head up to stare out at him. “She spends and spends without a care in the world. She was so fucking arrogant that she thought she was good enough for a professor to pull her aside and think she was better than every other student. She had to know her father was a piece of shit, but she just kept on with life acting like it was no big deal. Spending her father’s money like it was fucking toilet paper when the rest of the world is suffering. That’s what the Blake family does. Spend endlessly and ruin other people’s lives.”

“I did it to piss my father off,” Y/N defended herself seeing the way that Joel rolled his eyes and started to pace again beside the Mustang leaving her with chest pain over the things that he was saying. “I spent the money on things that mattered. I helped people…”

“Oh, so that massive ass party tonight was to help people? Taking me on a trip to an expensive ass resort was for the better of the world?” Joel pushed further, the lines over his head growing deeper as he threw his hand up in the air to point out at Y/N. “You’re just a spoiled little rich kid that has no account for the real world.”

“The party was my last thing because my father was cutting me off completely once I got my degree,” she informed Joel seeing him smirk when his hands rest at his hips and she could see that Poppy desperately wanted to help but didn’t know how. “I’m the black sheep in the family. I don’t fit in and he’s disgusted with me wanting to go into what I am.”

“Oh boo fucking who,” Joel taunted her making a lump grow in her throat when Negan finished with his call and stepped in beside them.

“Okay, Rick is going to call me back when he has your family,” Negan claimed with a shrug of his shoulders nodding back toward the house. “I’m going to go check things out inside. Make sure everything is okay. Once I’m satisfied that the house is safe, I will bring you guys in. First…we have to ditch our phones. Just for safety reasons.”

“Jesus Christ,” Joel tossed his hands up in the air and shook his head. “I knew I should have never fucking come tonight.”

“Here,” Y/N handed Negan over her phone seeing him nod and give her an empathetic expression when he saw that her background photo was her with Joel taking a selfie where she was kissing his cheek. Poppy huffed when she handed over her phone to Negan. Waiting for Joel’s, Negan could see that Joel was thinking things out.

“Why do you get to keep your phone?” Joel questioned seeing the way that Negan’s head tipped to the side. “Why do all of us have to hand over our phones, but you get to keep yours?”

“Because mine isn’t under my name and after Rick calls me back about your family, I’m ditching mine too. I didn’t keep a phone under her father’s name like the rest of the dumb fucks that worked for her father,” Negan reasoned with Joel hearing the angered breath that fell from Joel’s lungs. Joel grabbed his phone and tossed it to Negan seeing the glare that Negan gave him when he almost dropped the phone. “Thank you.”

“Whatever,” Joel leaned back to rest against the Mustang and he could see that Y/N looked like she was on the verge of tears again. Negan handed Joel over one of the guns seeing the way that Joel stared down at the gun with a huff. “Why are you giving me this?”

“To keep everyone safe,” Negan remarked before heading back toward the safe house to go check things out for them.

“You know, I took you on that trip because I wanted to make you happy. You told me you hadn’t had a trip since Sarah was born other than that one trip you took on a cruise with the two of you and Tommy,” Y/N reminded Joel of what he had told her in the past when they were together. “I showered you with gifts and I gave you money because I love you, Joel. I just want you happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“You wanted someone to love you back,” Joel corrected her seeing the way her eyes were damp and he shook his head. “You knew I didn’t love you. You were just so desperate for the love of someone that you were willing to do anything to get it. You are looking from attention from an older man because of your piss poor relationship with your father and I became that guy. You wanted me to love you so bad and you were willing to put every cent you could to get it. You wanted to buy my love. That’s what you were doing.”

A loud swallow came from Y/N’s throat and Joel could see a single tear sliding down the side of her face, “And I let you do it because I fucking hated your family. If you weren’t you, I would have told you no because I don’t like people spending money on me. I’m not that kind of guy, but knowing the trash you came from…”

“Knock it off,” Poppy warned hearing the way that Y/N sniffled before walking off down the walkway that was toward the large body of water in the backyard. They could hear that she was crying and Poppy looked back over her shoulder with a sad breath. “I know you’re upset. I would be upset too, but she’s not like her dad. And she’s not the one that’s at fault for this. She was shot. It’s her birthday. Her father hates her. And she loved you. If she had to pick between you or her father before this, she would have picked you. She still would. You may not love her, but you’re being cruel. I understand the circumstances and if I didn’t, I swear I would be punching you in the dick right now but since things are the way they are I’m trying to be more understanding. I get it was a ploy the whole time for you, but it was real for her. You made her fall in love with you. So try to be a little bit nicer, eh?”

“Jesus Christ,” Joel scoffed looking out in the direction that Y/N went off. Thinking about what Poppy said to him, he sighed and went off after Y/N. Noticing that he was still holding the gun, he made sure that the safety was put on before placing his gun down the back of his pants. Seeing that Y/N was at the bottom of the backyard near the water sitting in the sand, Joel dropped down and took a seat next to her seeing that her face was tear stained. “You probably shouldn’t be getting sand in that wound.”

“Whatever,” she huffed staring out at the water and the silence was so loud that the only thing she could hear was the sound of the waves in the water. “I’ll probably be dead by the end of the night, so who gives a shit anyways?”

“You’re not going to be dead,” Joel hushed her with a shake of his head gazing back over his shoulder at the safe house seeing that Negan had started turning on the lights that were in the house. “We’re at your father’s safe house. No one is going to be able to find you here. They will figure out who is doing this and you will be fine in no time.”

“Yeah, okay,” she shook her head obviously not believing a word that Joel said and he sighed loudly. “I’m sorry I’ve put you in this position. You’re right. This is all my fault. I should have just realized that you didn’t love me. I was just so fucking stupid. You should be with your daughter right now instead of being with someone you fucking hate. I’m sorry I put you in this position.”

“Listen, I’m sorry for talking to you the way I am. I was upset originally with your father and I’m scared about Sarah,” Joel acknowledged with a frown, dropping his head when he caressed his hand over the back of his neck. “I’m an asshole. I know I am. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for because nothing you are saying is wrong,” she shrugged her shoulders, reaching up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “There is certainly something wrong with me. My mother abandoned me and left me with my father who she knew was a piece of shit. My father hates me. No one really likes me for me. They just see my father when they look at me. And you’re right, I was arrogant. I really believed you when you told me that I was special. I just wanted to be special so fucking bad on my own. Not because of my father, but because of me. I tried so hard and worked as much as I could with my schooling that I thought I finally found something that was for me where I could break away from my father.”

“You are talented. If you keep working at it, you will do perfectly fine,” Joel commented seeing that she genuinely felt everything that she was saying about her father. “What I did was wrong Y/N. You aren’t your father. You were just a kid when he did it. I forgot that. You had no idea who I was because you had nothing to do with it.”

“You told me that you started realizing that you liked me along the way,” she thought back on what he told her before she ended up getting shot making him sigh loudly. “When?”

“On our trip,” Joel answered her, his jaw locking up when he gave her an honest answer. “Until then, I didn’t get to know the real you. I just saw the girl willing to do everything I wanted in order for her to be mine. I told you to jump and you asked how high. I was addicted to the feeling of having control over someone as powerful as you.”

“I’ve never had power in my life Joel. I’m probably one of the least powerful people out there. I’ve always been under someone’s thumb or say. I could never be who I truly wanted to be,” she confessed with a shuddering breath, considering the answer that he just gave her. “Our trip was for your birthday in September. We were together a whole year and a month before that. So for a year you pretended we had something together? And you felt nothing for me?”

“I don’t want to lie to you. I just saw my anger when I was with you. It was when we really got to spend time together when I saw the parts of you I didn’t know existed. That’s why I allowed us to start spending the nights together sometimes. I genuinely like you as a person Y/N, I do. Regardless of the shit I’ve mouth vomited over the last hour,” Joel declared making her let out an overwhelmed exhale while he stared out at her with a sadness in his eyes. “I really did talk to Sarah about you tonight because I care about you.”

“But you never loved me?” she confirmed making Joel let out a tense breath and shake his head making her breathe in sharply.

“If things would have gone different and we could have worked on us,” Joel began lifting his hands in the air trying to think out his words. “I really did like spending time together with you. You’re good company Y/N. And if we got to explore our relationship more and you weren’t…”

“Philip Blake’s daughter,” she finished for him making Joel’s lips part and he nodded slowly. “I never had a chance with you from the moment you learned that he was my father. Which really sucks because I really did love you.”

“I know,” Joel whispered hearing the sound of footsteps approaching and he swiftly turned around to see that it was Negan holding his hand out to show the cell phone. “What is it?”

“Your daughter,” Negan informed him making Joel scramble to his feet to grab the cell phone so he could talk to Sarah. Joel walked off in the distance and Negan could tell that Y/N was upset about everything that was happening. Kneeling down, Negan reached out to place his hand over her shoulder and he noticed that she was crying. “We gotta take care of that wound.”

“Of course,” she gave Negan a half-smile and allowed him to help pull her up from the ground. Wiping at her face she could only imagine how terrible she looked right now. Following Negan toward the house, she saw that Poppy was already waiting for them on the back deck watching Joel talking on his phone by the water. Poppy stepped forward to reach out for her friend and Y/N held her hand up to stop her. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m sorry babe,” Poppy commented following the two of them into the house where Negan led her into an office in the home. Negan made her sit down on one of the comfortable chairs that was there when he went for the medical kit that he had found when he was searching the house before allowing them in. Y/N saw in the distance a giant painted portrait of her father on the wall and she groaned out in disgust. “I can’t believe how you’ve handled being shot. You’re a goddamn champ love.”

“It just grazed me Poppy,” she winced when Negan started to clean her wound and his worried eyebrows bounced up to make sure she was okay. Giving him a nod, she bit back on the pain that she was feeling knowing that it burned like hell.

“Yeah, but you were bleeding a lot,” Poppy was dramatic in the way that she pronounced her words making Negan chuckle.

“I checked in with Simon who told me that they put your father in a secret location to keep him safe,” Negan educated her on what he learned when he was on the phone checking in with everyone and surveying the home alone. “He wasn’t hurt at all. They think someone who was trying to get to him was going after you to make a point.”

“This is all very ironic, isn’t it?” she couldn’t help but laugh in frustration, squeezing her eyes shut while Negan finished up with her wound and it hurt like hell but she didn’t want to show it. “My father doesn’t even love me and someone is trying to kill me to put it to him. My father would probably be thankful that they killed me. Then he doesn’t have to explain why I’m no longer part of the family when he lands governor.”

“Your dad wouldn’t want you dead,” Poppy sat on the edge of the chair that Y/N was in, reaching out to hook her arm loosely around Y/N’s shoulders being careful not to mess with the area that Negan was taking care of. “Regardless of how he feels about you, you’re still his daughter. His flesh and blood. No parent wants to see their child die before them.”

“Poppy, I don’t know who you are trying to fool here. My father wouldn’t give a shit if I died,” Y/N’s voice was broken when she thought about her father’s feelings toward her. “He’s confirmed that for me many times in the past. And it’s almost amusing to think there are people out there who think that by hurting me, they are hurting him. One person is trying to kill me and another broke my heart.”

The sound of the door pushing open was heard alerting everyone that Joel was standing there. By the look in his eyes it was obvious that he had heard what she said about having her heart broken. Guilt flooded into his features and no one said anything. This was something that Negan and Poppy really had no say in. And with Joel, he already told her how he felt.

“Thank you for finding someone to take care of my family,” Joel cleared his throat, finally stepping forward and holding the cell phone out for Negan to take. “I would rather be with them myself right now, but I understand you having us hang it out here until we know everything will be okay. It’s better to keep them safe.”

“You’re welcome,” Negan accepted the phone after finishing with the bandage on Y/N’s arm. It made her sigh and slide back into the chair while Negan gathered everything he used to clean it up. “There are some burner phones that we can use here. I will take one and I’ll give you one Joel. Just in case.”

With an understanding nod, Joel went over by the fire that Negan had set and stood by it to get warm after being outside near the chill of the water. Staring down at her feet, Y/N leaned forward and curled her fingers around the sides of the couch, “I’m not feeling very well. I think I’m going to go lay down for a few.”

“Are you okay?” Negan helped her stand up from the seat and she gave him a firm nod. Heading out of the room, she went for the stairs and found the first bedroom that she could.

Crawling into the center of the bed, she closed her eyes tightly and wished that this was all a dream she would just wake up from. Everything that was happening was something she would have come up with only in her nightmares. Someone was trying to kill her because of her father? The man she loved only used her to get to her father. Her life was shit and she knew that, but this topped the cake. And the sad thing? It was still in the final few minutes of her birthday and she was ending it broken.

The sound of a door pushing open was heard, but she didn’t move. She didn’t have the energy. So many times today she wanted to break and sob. Holding it in only made things worse. Part of her wondered if things would have been better if the shooter didn’t miss. It’s not like she felt like her life held any importance. Having Negan, Joel and Poppy here only put them at risk…and for what? It made her think maybe she should just go back home because it was a waste to put forth all this effort for nothing. And honestly? That’s what she felt like. Nothing.

Sighing as the bed dipped, she felt the delicate touch of arms wrapping around her to hug her from behind and she immediately knew it was Poppy. Allowing her friend to hold onto her, Y/N stayed quiet and just enjoyed being comforted by her friend. In her heart, she would have loved for it to be Joel, but she knew better. At least with Poppy she didn’t feel alone and she appreciated that.

----

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pedrito-friskito · 1 year

Text

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

during - part eleven

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

you get the short end of the stick, but it’s worth it.

a/n: okayyyyyyyyy shit’s getting heavy, folks, but things are chaaaaaaanging. hope you’re ready 😈

word count: 4.4k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, a lot of angst, a lot conversation, canon-typical violence and injuries (heavy on both), drinking, Joel has more feelings, I love Tess.

if you haven’t already, please read the announcement/follow up I posted about giving Liv a name.

✨follow @friskito-library for updates on new works/chapters✨

Tess likes to talk. You don’t mind; it makes the walk back much faster, and the QZ is within sight much sooner with the easy conversation between you.

She talks about how she found Joel and Tommy, how they’d been stuck together ever since Kentucky. She mentions her husband, Nate, and you offer your sympathy — which she brushes off — and tell her about Dean.

“With a baseball bat?” she repeats, an almost incredulous look on her face. “That baseball bat?”

“Yep,” you laugh, hefting the thing in your hand. “Kept me alive this long. All those years of softball finally paid off.”

Tess tells you what she was starting to build in Baltimore, and you can’t help but grin. The two of you are more similar than you thought. You return her stories in kind, details of your own ventures. “There are lots of ways in and out of the Boston QZ,” you tell her, “you just have to know where to look.”

You don’t ask about her and Joel, and she doesn’t offer the information. He hangs back the entire time, a good twenty feet behind you, rifle slung over his shoulder. You chance a glance back once or twice, mostly making sure he’s still there, and his hard gaze makes you freeze every time.

This definitely isn’t the reunion you’d imagined. Honestly, you’re not quite sure what you had envisioned, but this sure as hell ain’t it. Fuck, why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?

You lead them through as quietly as possible, using a spot on the wall where the bricks have been cracked, leaving footholds behind for those who know to look for them. You send Tess up first, then Joel, and he waits at the top, grabs you by the arm and hauls you up the last foot. You open your mouth to say thank you, but he’s already released you, turned away yet again.

All right, so this is how it’s going to be.

Through the top level of the building, down the ladder into the alley. You stash your bat and your bag in the same place, tell Tess and Joel to leave their guns there, too. Joel’s reluctant, but Tess smacks his shoulder and he does as you say, that hard look on his face the entire time.

Your boots splash in the same puddle they had last night. Tess is close behind you as you head out of the alley and skirt down the next building. A few more alleyways, heads ducked, avoiding soldiers and civilians alike, and you head down another alleyway, waiting for the coast to clear before shoving a dumpster aside, revealing a hole in the bricks that leads inside the empty warehouse.

“How did you—” Joel starts to ask, but cuts himself off.

You hold your arm out, gesturing him inside. “Quickly.”

The opposite end of the warehouse faces the gate almost directly. The windows on the lower level are covered with newspaper, shattered in some places, and you peer through one of the missing panes. Beside the main gate, there’s an office, of sorts. Where they take any survivors that make it to the gate, test them, either put them in the system or put a bullet in their heads.

“Wait here.” You prop open the window, slide through the gap and pop back up the other side. No one pays you any mind as you head towards the office, leaning up on your toes to peer through the little window in the door. Nick’s standing inside, staring at one of the old computer screens, and when you tap on the glass, he nods.

You turn back, waving at Tess. “C’mon.” They’re quick about it, and you push the door open once they’re close, following them both inside. Nick stares at Joel for a moment, meets your eyes over his shoulder. You try to school your face neutral, but you can’t tell if you get away with it or not.

“In there,” Nick says, the words blunt, and points down the hallway, to one of the smaller rooms. The office used to be a doctor’s office, you think; one main lobby, a bunch of smaller exam rooms down the hall. Joel and Tess do as he says, and you start to follow behind, but feel Nick’s hand on your shoulder. It makes you pause, and you look at him, turning beneath his hand.

“That’s him, isn’t it?” he asks, his voice low. “Joel.”

You repeat yourself to him a third time. “Does it matter?”

Nick’s brow creases. “Of course it fucking matters, Liv.”

You shake your head. “Just process them, please? Then you can throw me in lockup and this’ll all be over.”

The look on his face says he doesn’t believe you, but you push his hand off your shoulder, step into the room where Tess is standing, Joel sitting in one of the chairs, elbows on his knees. “This is Corporal Nick Cowan,” you introduce, jutting a thumb over your shoulder. “I trust him. He’ll test you both, put you through the system, and take you back to my place.” Your eyes flick to Joel. “Tommy should still be there.” You turn to look at Nick. “On the off chance he’s not, take them to Deanna’s.”

Nick gives you a curt nod, and you can feel Joel’s stare boring holes in your skull. It’s Tess that finally breaks the silence, concern on her face. “What about you? Why aren’t you taking us?”

“Cuz I’m gonna be in lockup,” you say, and Joel jumps to his feet, but doesn’t reach for you, doesn’t do anything but stare, “for the next two days.” You swallow hard. “There’s enough food at my place for you three, water too. Tommy knows where the whiskey is.” You give a little chuckle, staring down at your boots before lifting your head. There’s something like admiration in Tess’s eyes, whereas Joel is pure fire. You chew the inside of your cheek. “It’s fine, really. All part of the deal.”

“You’ve been in FEDRA lockup before?” Tess asks, crossing her arms.

You nod. “Once or twice. I’ve been caught by a couple other soldiers, but I have dirt on most of them. Makes it easier, but this is all part of the plan.” Your eyes dart to Joel before meeting Tess’s. “It’s fine. It’s worth it.”

Nick grabs your arm then, all business, fingers biting into your elbow. “Let’s go. Now.” His voice is louder, and you lift a brow as he pulls you back through the door. “You two, don’t move, or so help me god, I will throw you both right back through that gate.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Seriously?”

He stares down at you. He’s angry, you realize. “Seriously.”

Nick yanks the door shut, Joel and Tess staring at you as it closes, and he all but pushes you down the hall to the door, out onto the road, towards the building where you’ll be for the next two days. Lockup. “There were other soldiers in there,” he mutters under his breath. “I had to make it somewhat believable.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

Since the world ended, Joel will admit he’s gotten quick to judge. First impressions were hell before cordyceps ravaged the planet, but now they’re even worse, if not more important. But Joel’s met one too many terrible people, and he’s learned to be quick on the draw, quicker on his judgement.

He knows almost immediately that he does not care for Corporal Nick Cowan. At all.

Mainly, he doesn’t like the way Cowan was looking at you. He saw the way he stopped you outside the door, the two of you whispering under your breath to each other, an almost defiant look on your face. Are you two…?

He doesn’t finish the thought.

Joel’s mind has been churning from the moment he saw you, standing there in the gas station parking lot, that fucking baseball bat in your hand. Something else had taken over, something like happiness, spilling into the corners of his heart the moment he had you in his arms again. Alive, breathing, whole, right in front of him. He felt whole, for the first time in a long time, holding you like that. It felt…good.

And then you opened your mouth, and it all came crashing down.

He hasn’t forgotten. He can’t forget that night. The gunshots and the blood and the way Sarah had cried. The way he’d felt her go. It haunts his every step, her voice a constant reminder in the back of his mind. He knew he’d have to tell you, if he ever found you again, and in a way, he’s grateful his brother was the one to deliver the news, but the way you’d said it, the broken apology, the tears on your face, it was too much.

It is too much.

Cowan returns not ten minutes after he’d hauled you off, and Joel gets to his feet when the door opens. The soldier gives him a look, but Joel doesn’t flinch. He’s used to this shit; the FEDRA soldiers in Baltimore were the same. “You can sit,” Cowan says, but Joel doesn’t move. Tess sinks into the chair he’d been occupying. There’s a clipboard in the soldier’s hand, and he flips the page over. “Names.”

“Tess Servopoulos.”

“Joel Miller.”

“Date of birth.”

“April 9th, 1969.”

“September 26th, 1967.”

On and on it goes, until the page is full. Cowan doesn’t look at either of them once, and then takes the scanner from his belt. He’s not gentle with it, the hard press of plastic and the following tingle at Joel’s neck making him wince. The scanner turns green both times, and Cowan scoffs.

“Well, there you go.” The soldier sighs. “Boston QZ works about the same as Baltimore. You work for the community, keep it running, earn your ration cards. Liv will tell you where to find assignments, what jobs you’re allowed to take. She’s responsible for you for now, once she’s out. You stay in her place until she comes back, and we go from there.”

“We don’t get our own space?” Tess asks, and Cowan shoots her a look.

“You wait for Liv,” he says tersely, “and we go from there.”

Joel bites his tongue.

He leads them through the QZ quickly, both hands on his rifle. Joel itches for his own gun, stashed in your hideaway, but forces his hands into fists instead. Tess gives him a pointed look. Don’t fuck this up.

It irks his brain that Cowan just knows where your apartment is. Tommy opens the door after the soldier knocks, and pulls Joel into a hug, Tess afterward. “You made it.”

Tommy steps aside to let them in, and when Joel turns back to the door, the Corporal is gone.

Good fuckin’ riddance.

“Much nicer than the shit we had in Baltimore,” Tess comments, shucking her coat off, and Joel huffs a laugh.

It’s…well, nice isn’t really the word. The flower wallpaper is something else but the place looks lived in, which already makes it better than the plain walls and nondescript shit they had in the Baltimore QZ. There’s a butterfly painted on the window, a bookshelf built into one wall, another little shelf between the two windows with a radio perched on top. The flower paper doesn’t continue along all the walls, giving way to a yellow colour, the lower two feet of the wall painted blue. There’s a big window near the bed, a tall wardrobe beside it, a cracked radiator, the bathroom tucked beside the bedroom.

Tommy makes lunch, some kind of instant mac and cheese that tastes all too familiar to Joel. But washing it down with a glass of whiskey definitely helps. Tess busies herself looking through your bookshelves, combing through the titles.

“Where did she get all this stuff?” Joel asks. The shelves are filled with books, but there are other things too, little knickknacks and candles and tchotchkes. A little elephant made of jade. Joel picks it up, rubs his fingers over the carved edge.

“If you’d been listening, on the walk back,” Tess quips, an almost sing-song to her voice, “instead of being an asshole, you’d know. She’s been doing the same shit we have. Smuggling. Looting places that have been deserted. And she’s clearly better at it than we are.”

Joel says nothing, his brow lowering as he puts the elephant back on the shelf. There’s a little glass dish on one of the other shelves, filled with rings of all sizes and metals. Wedding rings, he realizes after a moment, engagement rings.

Tess hums. Joel watches as she reaches down, rubs her thumb over the silver band on her finger.

“Who is she, Joel?” Tess asks, and a zap of cold slides down his throat. “To you. Who was she? And don’t try to bullshit me and say nothing.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says, instead of nothing, and walks away from the bookshelf. There are no doors between the different rooms, the living room and kitchen and bedroom one open space with a dividing wall. He walks towards your bed, lets his hand trail over the plaid sheets and blankets and sinks onto the edge, parks himself in front of the window.

He stays there, until the sun sets.

Two days in lockup, you’d said. You wait for Liv, Cowan had instructed.

Part of him feels like he needs to apologize. He’s going about this wrong, he knows that. But the memory of what he’s lost has risen to the surface of his mind, and made him hurt. Made him all too aware of how broken he is.

With Tess, it doesn’t matter. He cares for her — of course he cares for her — but the line in the sand is clear. It’s stress-relief, comfort, a placeholder for what they’ve lost. Tess lost Nate, and Joel lost you.

And what the fuck did he do to deserve to find you again?

Tess crawls into bed, eventually. She doesn’t say a word to Joel, doesn’t invite him to lay with her. He can hear Tommy snoring on the other side of the thin wall that separates the living room and the bedroom, his brother sprawled on the couch.

He gets to his feet, scrubbing a hand over his face. The wardrobe door creaks as he pulls it open. There’s not much inside, clothing meant more for warmth than anything else, an assortment of sweaters and flannels. He knows he shouldn’t, feels a prickle of guilt up his spine as he drags his hand through the fabric. His fingers catch on something softer than the others, and he pinches blue flannel, striped with white and grey.

You kept his shirt. All this time. Held it close enough to take it with you when you left.

It makes him ache.

Joel wanders into the kitchen, grabs the bottle of whiskey from where it had been left on the worn kitchen table. It’s a mess of coffee cups, pages torn from notebooks, a collage of maps spread beneath everything else. He sees paths marked in red, on the maps, places circled and x’ed out, scribbled notes and times and dates. The kitchen sink is clean, a few plates stacked beside, evidence of Tommy’s cooking still on the stove. The fridge is slightly crooked, from when Tommy had pulled out the whiskey.

He sees it, from the corner of his eye, on the top door of the fridge. Held in place by a magnet shaped like a strawberry.

July 4th 2002

The magnet falls as he pulls the polaroid off, but he catches it before it can hit the ground. The picture is torn at one corner, the edges a little warped, but otherwise intact. He can remember that night. The warm summer air, your head on his shoulder, beer and barbecue in his belly, the awe on Sarah’s face as you all watched the fireworks together. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Joel puts the magnet back on the fridge, but keeps the picture in his hand, sinks into a chair at the table, takes a swig from the bottle of whiskey.

He doesn’t hear Tess until she’s sliding into the chair across from him. He says nothing, another long sip from the bottle as she pulls the polaroid from his grip. She looks at it for a long moment, smoothing her fingers over the edges before handing it back to him.

“Tell me who she is, Joel,” she says again, more of a statement than a question. “Please.”

Joel’s throat bobs. Tess doesn’t often say please.

He blows out a shaky breath. “A ghost,” he says, the corner of his mouth twitching. “To be honest, I’m still not totally convinced she’s really here. That we’re really here.”

Tess grips his free hand, pushes the bottle away. “We are here, Joel. Liv is here.” She squeezes his fingers. “Please, I just wanna make sense of it all.” Tess pauses, leans back a little. “Did you love her?”

Joel just nods, the movement slow as molasses, making his neck ache. “Her parents owned a hardware store, back in Austin. She moved back from Michigan after she finished school, started working in the store, and I met her there. We had one summer, and then she got a job in Boston.”

“You let her go.”

His brow crinkles, and his fingers itch to reach for the bottle, but he doesn’t. “I couldn’t let her stay in Austin just for me, couldn’t let her throw away her future.” He shoves a hand through his hair. He’s still holding the picture. “We spent the rest of the summer together, and then she left. Came back the next summer, and we had another two weeks.” He rubs his thumb over the photograph, the image of you leaned against him. “But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t enough.”

“She broke it off?”

He lays the polaroid on the table, thumb still tracing your outline. “She met someone. Dean. The space was too much, for both of us. I understood. I let her go.”

“And then the world ended.”

Joel reaches for the bottle then, and takes a long swig before sliding it across to Tess. “And then the world ended.”

“So, she’s the reason you wanted to go to Boston.”

He can’t bring himself to look at Tess. “I called her that night, when everything happened. Told her to get out of Boston, that I’d find her. It was never about Boston, exactly, it was just about going East, praying that we might meet in the middle. I looked for her at every QZ, every shelter, every single time I saw a body in the street, I was looking for her.”

“But you found her,” Tess says, her voice low, and Joel forces his eyes to hers. “Joel, she’s alive. She’s right here. Second chances like this…” She trails off, shakes her head. “This kind of stuff doesn’t happen all the time, Miller, not anymore. This is…”

“If you call this a miracle, Tess, I swear to god.”

She scoffs a laugh. “No, not a miracle. But…something. You can’t—”

“I told you who she was,” he cuts her off, that same feeling rising in his throat again. What the fuck did he do to deserve a second chance with you? “Now drop it.”

“Joel—”

“Drop it, Tess.” He shoves his chair back, gets up, heads for the bed.

If she notices him take the polaroid with him, she doesn’t say anything.

Stairs are hell.

Every step makes your side scream in pain. The pressure you’ve been holding against your ribs has done little to ease the ache, and even breathing makes it worse. Your mouth tastes like blood, iron and tangy against your teeth, and you know you’re lucky as hell your cheek isn’t broken. Bruised to shit, yes, but not broken.

They were feeling feisty in lockup, worse than you’ve ever had it before. Nick left you with two other soldiers inside, muttering something about disturbing the peace. They processed you, put the charge on your record, and when another soldier came to get you, your stomach sank into your toes.

Angie.

The same soldier who’d been working the pharmacy when you’d gone to get inhalers for Henry. You hadn’t threatened her, not exactly, but you’d made it clear that you could do some damage if she didn’t give you what you wanted. The pharmacy is a no-violence zone; she couldn’t have hit you then even if she wanted to. It would get her in deeper shit than you.

But in lockup? A whole other fucking story.

She grabbed you roughly, all but shoving you through the doorway that led deeper into the building. You don’t think the building was originally like this, all cells and interrogation rooms; FEDRA must have built it themselves.

You were expecting to get shoved into a cell right off the bat, but instead, she lead you to one of the rooms, pushed you inside and yanked the door shut behind you.

“What are you—”

Your words cut off with the first slap, a hard backhand that made your head snap to the side. You grunted, grabbing the back of a chair inside the room. You had half a mind to grab the thing with both hands and launch it at Angie, but that would only extend your time in lockup.

All you could do was sit there and take it.

Her second backhand made your teeth rattle, pain sparking behind your eyes. You nearly ducked to dodge the next hit, out of instinct, but forced yourself still, tears springing forth as her fist connected with your cheek. Over and over again, you just let her hit you. She hit you hard enough that you stumbled back, tripped over your own feet and the chair behind you and hit the ground. She didn’t waste any time driving her boot into your side, and you just curled inwards, just took it.

You weren’t sure exactly when she left, all you knew was that the blows stopped landing, but the pain didn’t. Two more soldiers came in after, picked you up off the floor, and carried you out of the room. They put you in a cell next, gave you a bottle of water and a blanket. The fabric was mottled with blood when you finally opened your eyes, and your face ached something fierce.

You slept it off, the rest of your time inside. Ate the shitty bread when it was offered, used the water to clean the blood from your face. And then, your forty-eight hours were up, and they let you go.

Part of you expected Nick to be waiting for you outside, but you were happy he wasn’t. You didn’t want to feel like you owed him anything more.

It took ages to get back to your building. Every step outside made pain shoot through your side; you’re pretty convinced at least one of your ribs is broken. And now, fucking stairs.

You almost fall against the doorjamb once you reach your apartment, digging in the pocket of your coat for your keys. You’re fumbling with the lock when the door swings inward, revealing Tess, bright-eyed and wearing one of your t-shirts. “Jesus Christ.”

You actually fall forward then, and Tess catches you, sliding an arm around your waist and dragging you over the threshold.

“A little help here!”

Tommy and Joel are both sitting on your couch, and they both jump to their feet the moment they see you. Tommy moves before his brother, and is at your side in an instant, taking some of your weight from Tess. You’re grateful as hell, though the movement makes your side scream in pain. They bring you towards the couch, and from the corner of your swollen eye, you see Joel move out of the way, heading in the direction of your bedroom. You’re in too much pain for it to really sting.

You cry out as they lower you onto the couch. Tommy looks frantic, and Tess disappears for a moment, coming back with a wet cloth. She drags it over your cheek and you whimper.

“She’s messed up,” she says, you assume to Tommy. “They have a clinic here, right? Like in Baltimore.”

“Yeah,” Tommy says, “saw it when I first got here. I can go—”

You flail an arm out, your hand landing on Tommy’s leg. “Get Deanna.”

You think he nods — you hope he nods — and you hear the door bang shut a moment later. Tess wipes at your face more; guess you didn’t get as much blood off as you thought.

“Tess,” you call softly, and her eyes snap to yours. “You don’t have to—”

“Oh, shut up,” she tells you, her voice almost stern. You want to laugh. “Who did this to you? FEDRA? Cowan?”

“Not Cowan. Pissed off the wrong girl, I guess.” You actually scoff out a laugh, but it makes your ribs sing with pain. “Can’t fight back in lockup.”

Tess’s brow wrinkles. “Good to know it’s the same shit all over in some way, at least.”

You go quiet, for a long moment. Tess holds the cloth against your cheek, and you revel in the cool feeling, letting your eyes flutter shut. The pain throbs with every beat of your heart, every breath you take, but her hands are gentle, almost soft.

“Joel told me,” she says, breaking the silence that’s been filled only with your shaking breaths. “About the two of you, about…before.”

Tears fill behind your closed eyelids, and you feel them slip down your cheeks. “Doesn’t matter now,” you say, trying to shake your head but failing miserably. “He doesn’t…”

“Don’t worry about what he does or doesn’t. He’s a stubborn ass.”

“You two—”

She puts a finger on your lips, shushing you. “I said, don’t worry about it, Liv.” She shakes her head, brow pinched, moving the cloth to dab at the corner of your mouth. “Not right now.”

You hear the door open, and a moment later, Deanna’s face comes into view, hovering over you. “What the hell did you do, girl?”

“Made a deal,” you say, “but it was worth it.”

Through the thin wall, you think you hear Joel sigh, the noise long and deep.

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