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#I AM TAKING THIS OUT OF THE DRAFTS FOLDER
octoberautumnbox · 2 days
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Off*IZ: Like It Like I Love It
Soloist Jo Yuri & Male Reader
Categories/warnings: smut, doggy, semi-public, semi-mirror, semi-exhibitionist, office sex, clothed sex, sweat if it counts?, standing doggy, anal, anal creampie, little bit of thigh stuff I think
Word count: 4.2k
Part of Off*IZ Hours
a/n: i worked on so many other drafts on and off this month i really wasnt sure if I'd be able to pull something off this month but we back to our regular programming LMAO :DDDD
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“Thank you, everyone. I know we took longer than we should have,” the project head places his glasses on his forehead before rubbing his eyes, “but we pulled through today. Good work.” All around the conference table, you and your coworkers stretch in various ways and groans emanate from random people in the room. As people start to get up and leave, you overhear muttering about plans after work and what each other’s weekends will be like. 
You do your own stretches and check your watch: 7:54 p.m., nearly three hours later than you should have left. A sigh escapes you, finding yourself already tired from dealing with the lowlife drunks on the bus you’ll be riding with in about half an hour. You grasp around in the dark for a bright side to all of this, but nothing’s coming up so far, except...
“Hey, heading out?” Miss Jo taps you on your shoulder a bit roughly: not enough to hurt, but enough to shove you a little. She stands behind you, her fingers delicately wrapped around the edge of her folder, and a smile painting her cute face. Over the course of your tenure in the company, as well as the fact that the Operational Support Department is only two people strong, you and your boss have gotten to know each other very well.
“Maybe you wanna have a drink with me? God knows we both need it,” she giggles. The petite woman abruptly shuts her eyes solemnly and sucks air in through her teeth, then releases it in a drawn-out yawn. She blinks out the sleep in her eyes before attempting to look at you again. 
“Are you sure? You seem a bit tired.” You spin her around to face away from you and place your hands on her shoulders. You push your thumbs firmly and massage the spot in the middle of her back, and tell her, “Breathe, Miss Jo.”
Her head lolls back, showing you a dimly glowing smile and fluffy cheeks underneath a pair of half-lidded eyes. She breathes out slowly through her mouth, her lips parted ever so slightly, and good thing everyone’s already left the conference room at this point, else they’d start asking questions. 
“Maybe I am tired…” she breathes out slowly, only loud enough for you and no one else to hear. As you listen, your hands travel down her slim arms and onto her waist, and as she tilts her head to the side, you plant a kiss right on her neck. “Maybe… maybe I do want to go home,” her moan comes carefully, as if fighting back a mountain of urges. “Maybe I want to, I don’t know, take a shower?” Your hands slide up her sides, cupping her petite boobs through her top. She giggles again, she brings her hands to yours. 
“And no more ‘Miss Jo,’ please. We're done for the day, remember?” She pulls your hands off her, winking, before hurriedly dragging you out of the conference room. Her steps are joyful and frantic towards the parking lot with you still in tow. She never looks back, one clear goal in mind: get you home, take her shower, get fucked out. A perfect Friday night, like God intended. 
She’s so focused that she fails to notice until it’s too late that you yank her into a secluded printing room, lock the door, and forget to turn on the light. She stumbles into your chest, and the dim reflections of nightlife from outside the window are the only things that let you see the fire in her eyes. 
Yuri wraps her arms around your neck, trapping you in a torrid kiss as your tongues dance around each other, swapping spit and breathy moans. Her lips are soft on yours, with hints of strawberry from her lip balm that only make you want her more. 
Hook her leg under your arm, grip her ass through her jeans, grind her crotch against yours. All she can do at this point is hold on to you for dear life as your kiss continues, never giving her the privilege of catching her breath. In spite of all this, her nerve to fight back surfaces: her tongue enters your mouth and licks everywhere she can reach, and she shamelessly lets her spit leak from her luscious lips and onto her chin. 
At this point the heat gets to both of you, not only from each other but also from the general lack of air-conditioning in the room this late into the night. Sweat collects into bigger and bigger drops on her neck, and your determination to steal every single one overtakes you. You kiss and lick over every spot of exposed and vulnerable skin you can find, and it messes with her head somehow even more than forcing kisses on her ever did.
A bright idea enters your head though, and not so gently, you shove and pin her to a nearby wall. A deep thud rings across the room, followed by a slight creak and groan from the wood holding up the wall inside it. The impact forces air out her lungs, but ultimately she regains her breath and stares at you, shellshocked, before releasing her grip on you. 
“Don’t forget, asshole,” she grunts, playing trying to get free, “I'm still your fucking boss.” Yuri almost slams her face into yours, sorely missing the feeling of your lips on hers. Her tongue travels all over inside your mouth, and what can you do but show her the same sort of fervor?
“I'm also still fucking my boss,” you choke out, still struggling against the onslaught of Yuri's tongue. All the while, her needy moans fill the room with every single hump on her crotch. She tries speeding it up, but with how you're holding her ass, you're fully in control. 
And she fucking loves it. 
With one hand keeping you in place, her other hand works on stripping herself of her jeans. Your position gradually gets more awkward, but the moment her pants leave her ass and you feel up her cheeks, now only covered with a pair of thin lace panties, your hunger for your boss's delicious body only grows.
Her pants drop to around her ankles and suddenly they're gone from her world. Yuri's next target is your slacks, and she makes even quicker work of them. It takes just the blink of an eye before they're gone too, and she’s alternating between palming your stiffening cock and massaging your balls through your underwear.
“I didn't know I was this tired,” she remarked, her breath unstable against your mouth. Her head rests against the wall, her arms on your shoulders, and you finally let her catch her breath. “Oh, by the way,” she wheezes between deep inhales, “we’re setting up the laptops for the new hires tomorrow– I need you to come in at 8.” 
“Come in here? Like ‘office’ here? Tomorrow’s Saturday,” you say, mixing into your voice a tone of sternness. You caress her cheek, and she nuzzles into your palm. She knows exactly what’s coming up next, but she waits for you to let her. It has to be you, you both know it, so as your hand meets her shoulder and pushes her down, she falls slowly, gracefully, to her knees.
Eye level with your bulge, she runs her tongue along her lips seductively while looking up at you. Her fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear and she pulls down slowly, teasing you when she knows she shouldn’t. Your cock springs up and nearly misses her chin, but she makes a show of catching it with her face. She smiles up at you, your cock resting on her beautiful features, all the while she peppers light kisses along the underside of your shaft. 
“Yeah, 8 a.m. tomorrow. We’re setting up VPNs and loading all the shit onto them.” Her kisses soon turn into licks, as if she’s made it her mission in life to trace every single one of your cock’s veins using her tongue. Her eyes flutter closed as she relishes in the taste and scent of your manhood, hellbent on worshiping it like the slut she knows she is. 
“Fine, but I’m spending the night at yours. Make me come into work on a weekend, feed me breakfast.”
“Fine, but you’re driving tomorrow. Can’t do it if my legs don’t work.”
She retreats back for a bit, lining up your cock with her mouth as she eyes it with a lustful greed. She comes in close again, and her tongue swirls around the tip of your cock as she slowly takes more and more in. Her lips seal around your shaft, sucking it like it’s the feast of her lifetime. 
Take advantage of her position, guide her head to rest against the wall. She almost doesn’t notice, but the moment she does, her eyes meet yours to send a single, unmistakeable, desperate message: “Please.”
You plunge your cock deep into her mouth, using the wall behind her to force her to take as much of your length as she can. She chokes and gags, but ultimately her tongue never leaves the underside of your dick and chooses instead to use the copious amounts of spit to make her blowjob all the more pleasurable for you. Yuri’s cheeks hollow out as she tries sucking your soul out, and only then are you made aware of the lewd slurping sounds she’s making. Her adoration of your cock makes itself known like it always does, and you wonder for a split second how lucky you came to be to have such a nice boss. 
She pushes herself off of you with a loud pop, and you find her hair unkempt and sticking to her forehead in strands, licking her lips like she’s just had the best meal of her life. She flashes a smile at you before getting up, and what comes next feels like the most natural thing for the two of you. She gets up and pulls you by the necktie toward the window, you’ve always known she was this type of girl, and she places both palms on the glass. 
“You know what to do.” Her voice is deep and serious, and you're compelled to obey. Your fingers slip under the waistband of her panties, and you pull down to reveal her plump ass. The wet feeling running down Yuri's legs makes her moan quietly, and as the fabric leaves her body you see her thighs glisten with slick and perspiration, reflecting the clueless city's lights.
Your hands travel up her thighs, and you feel her goosebumps under your touch. Now standing behind her, you take in the situation: your boss is bent over, presenting her bare ass and dripping pussy to you, while her hands are splayed onto the cool, transparent glass of the printing room window. Place your hands on her hips, grip securely and show her how bad you want her. Pull her slowly towards you, and as you do, find her looking back at you with unbridled lust in her gaze.
The tip of your cock meets her sinful entrance, and her gaze remains steady and burning on you. “Come on already,” she taunts seductively. She bites her lip in anticipation and you decide not to make her wait any longer. 
You rub your hard cock on her pussy lips, coating your shaft with her juices, before finally plunging yourself into her. Her lips part for you, and as you push deeper into her wet cavern she lets out a low, guttural moan. Her reflection in the glass shows you her eyes are shut tight and tighter still as she feels you slowly filling up her pussy, and her fingers flex against the glass as she tries to find something, anything, to hold onto. 
“Fuck– God, the first one is always the best, huh?” A casual laugh follows her statement, and she looks back at you again. A tiny smile decorates the corners of her mouth, and the odd lighting around you gives her an aura of mysterious, forbidden beauty. 
“Will you behave for me, Yuri?” You rub and grope her ass as you say it, threatening a spank. It doesn't help though, you know your boss loves being put in her place. The thought you implant into her head causes her pussy to quiver, and in turn causes your cock to twitch against her walls. 
“Oh my go– Yes, daddy,” she surrenders, “I'll be your good baby girl.” She lets her head hang forward, having completely given up control to you, all primed and ready to receive your blessing. Her breaths are deep, slow, ragged, choosing instead to focus solely on the onslaught of pleasure you're about to inflict on her tight, delicious, fertile body.
Thrust into her again, as deep as her cunt lets you, and your tip kisses the entrance of her womb. She lurches slightly forward with a grunt, and you almost swear her pussy is made just for you. The way her walls clench around your cock as it twitches again and again inside her makes you think you’re the key to her lock, a match made in hell.
“Daddy, do I feel good? Do you like my pussy?” Yuri’s moans and pleas for your approval only spur you on. She melts under your touch, your hand returning to her ass and threatening her pleasure again. It’s about time you give her what she wants, and she has been a good girl so far, so why the fuck not?
You raise your palm and she watches, her eyes trailing higher and higher. All at once, you bring your hand down with the force and speed Yuri knows is perfect, what she knows she deserves. Your skin meets hers and a slap rings clear across the room, followed by an immoral moan escaping from her throat. 
“Fuck, daddy! It hurts so good–” she gasps, all the while you maintain a slow pace. Your thrusts in her are rhythmic and steady, but in no way soft or merciful. With every pump of pleasure you deliver into her body from behind, she lurches forward again and again, absolutely no time at all to recover with the cumulative brain fog clouding her thoughts, all the while her tight little pussy clenches and squeezes your cock like it’s the last time she’ll ever have you. 
Keep fucking her deep and rough, keep forcing your will onto her body. She submits wholeheartedly to you, pushing her ass back on you each time you shove your cock into her, trying to steal more mind-numbing goodness from you. As if having lost control of her voice, her moans are continuous if not for her need to breathe every once in a while. On one hand, you know her body well, and it’s telling you that she’s growing impatient – she signed up for a railing after all. On the other hand, so what? It’s your fucktoy to use however you want to.
Yank her hair back, pull her right up against your chest. One hand on her toned tummy, the other wrapped around her slender, sweaty neck. Her own hands stay respectfully splayed on the glass, and she’s damn near defenseless like this: she wouldn’t dare defy you in any way. Whisper right into her ear, teasingly and tauntingly, “Until what time do we stay tomorrow?”
She chokes back a sob, only half-successful, only half-focused. “N-not later than one th-thirty,” she struggles, on the verge of tears, “only eighte-teen unitssss…” She sucks as much air as she can through her teeth, your slow and methodical onslaught on her sex unrelenting. “We… we…” Her brain fog must be so thick right now, having finally lost the ability to form complete thoughts. It’s now you know there’s nothing left of her except the desire for more of her ecstasy, just the way you like her. 
All at once, thrust fast and thrust hard. It’s something she couldn’t have possibly predicted, and her surprise numbs her entire body save for her pussy that convulses violently around your cock. Her velvet walls squeeze and massage your entire length, and her love juices coat your shaft before the rest make its way down her creamy, jiggling thighs. She screams loud as her face is smushed against the glass, her arms pinned against the window pane for as much support as she can get. Each following thrust into her pushes her up and up against the glass even more, until there’s no more space between her and the window, nor between you and her. 
Completely victim to you, her eyes wander up and up until they point to the ceiling. Her mouth hangs open as her breath fogs up the glass, still punctuated with rhythmic grunts each time your tip kisses the entrance of her womb. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” she repeats with every thrust, rubbing her face slightly more against the window. If only she could still fathom how easily someone could look up and see her taking your dick, but that's not important now. Her eyes are rolled to the back of her head, her breathing is unsteady, and the flex of her fingers tells you again that she's close. 
Deny her climax just a little more, you're sure she'll understand. Just as you push back into her, eliciting her next crass word, you forcefully pull out of her heat. She tightens impossibly hard again in an effort to keep you inside her, but the sheer amount of her slick fails her. A few seconds pass and she's able to look down, and the sight of your thick and hard cock between her thighs and right up against her pussy does something to her head. It's exactly when her tongue peeks from her mouth and runs all over her lips that you know she's desperate, reduced to nothing more than a simple-minded slut who wants you and you alone. 
“I'm gonna take your ass, baby girl, and you're gonna fucking like it.” Your words are gentle yet daunting against her eardrums, and her pussy lips quiver against your cock again as she jerks her hips forward exactly once and releases the perfect amount of her juices onto your dick. “Yes, daddy…” she replies, holding back her orgasm for a few more moments, knowing that you like it best when she cums while you’re inside her. 
Yuri waits in anticipation as you poke her asshole with your cock. Her eyes draw shut, head leaning solemnly on the glass, as if praying that she survives the rough anal fucking she's about to receive. 
Since when did you get so mean? Making a lady wait like this. And yet, the way she squirms in depraved pleasure under the constant threat of your cock is just so delicious, you really can't help but use her, play with her like this. 
Having had your fill of teasing her, you give her exactly what she wants. You enter her puckered hole slowly, and yet she takes you in like the good girl she always aims to be. The walls of her ass are just as pleasurable as her pussy, and her tightness in her back entrance is just as perfect as her cunt. The slick coating your cock is her only saving grace against having her asshole torn apart, but with the way she clenches around you so well and how she groans in ecstasy, you think maybe she wouldn’t mind either way. 
Your boss half-screams as you invade her repeatedly from behind, starting slow and steady while tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. Her sweaty cheek still on the window, you watch as a line of spit runs from her lip down the pane, just as a drunkard wobbling across the sidewalk in the street down below finally catches you two in the act. It seems he's still figuring out what he's seeing, so you have just a few more moments left in the printing room before the dots connect in his head.
“G–guh,” Yuri grunts as she taps against the glass. It seems she spotted him too, and is trying to warn you of the same. “It doesn't matter, baby, I'll take care of it.” Your reassurance works a bit too well, and her eyes shut again as she breathes out and relaxes. 
Stay true to your promise, make sure she gets a hell of a taste of the night she’s only about to have. Quickly, carelessly, ruthlessly, piston deep into her asshole. Her walls try their hardest to accommodate you, but ultimately lose the fight and are forced apart anyway. 
“Aaahhhh– AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” Yuri’s heavenly voice is corrupted to sing a perverted symphony. She’s reduced again, from your boss to your personal slut to now just some instrument for your unholy pleasure. Each thrust into her ass sends her riding up the window again, smearing her spit and perspiration all over the glass and her slick all over her creamy thighs. You shoot a cursory look back to the drunk on the street, noticing his eyes widening as his fried brain starts its search for words. You’re running out of time. 
Pound her mercilessly, remind her of her place in your own shared little world. All it takes is just a few more thrusts into her hole until she finally lets it all loose. Your moans mix with hers in the secluded space, and her willingness to serve you brings you ever closer to the edge. 
Just as the drunkard figures out how to point up and mumble his most basic words, you explode right into your boss, filling her plump ass up with your thick and hot seed. A shameless scream rips across her throat, “FUCKKKKK!!!” and her ass tightens around your cock like she owes her life to you, hell-bent on repaying her debt in kind tenfold. Streams of her own cum squirt out of her in jets, splattering on the wall and all over her crotch and thighs. She bucks her hips again and again, having lost any semblance of control over her body and mind, each spurt of your baby batter pushing itself into her body simultaneously pushing another of the already very scarce thoughts out of her head. What’s worse is it keeps coming, the realization dawning on you just as her ass overflows and your cum starts running down her legs, that your desire and output were heightened severely by how pent-up the both of you were. 
You pull Yuri down and duck to the floor right as the drunk finally musters enough of his wits together to point and scream. You hear him from the ground, and as far as you can tell he’s there on the street pointing up at an empty window and gathering weird looks from the other passers-by. All the while, you’ve just finished pumping your boss full of cum while she’s still squirming and jerking weakly as her own climax dies down. 
The room once filled with moans and grunts is now silent save for your combined heavy breathing. The heat once again makes itself known to the both of you, best evidenced by her sweat pooling on the ground where her head lay. Pulling out of her, more of your cum flows out of her ass, deepening Yuri’s breathing as she tries wiping more sweat off her brow.
“You good?” Your question is far too innocent for what the two of you just did. All she can do in response is to nod slightly, and maybe offer a drained but satisfied smile. Confirming her condition, you lean over and kiss her on the cheek before lying back down next to her, giving yourself a moment as well to catch your own breath. 
Yuri turns and places her head on your chest, rising and falling with your breathing. She feels your heartbeat and synchronizes her breathing with it, grateful for some semblance of structure back into her life, but at the same time her dependence on you grows yet again, just like she loves it. 
“We can maybe do breakfast muffins tomorrow on the way, no time to cook and all.” You wrap your arm around her and secure her in a cozy embrace. The floor is much cooler than the air in the higher altitudes of the enclosed space you two occupy, and the situation threatens to steal you off to slumber. 
Yuri manages a nod and a mumble and a kiss on your neck. She pushes herself off the floor, yawns, and stretches. “Do you wanna just come in Sunday instead? Stay the weekend with me?” she asks earnestly, crawling to your discarded clothes to retrieve. She hands you yours, and as she does you plant a wet kiss on her lips. 
“As if being here on Sunday is better than Saturday.” 
“Literally nobody's here on Sunday. We can turn up the aircons.” Your boss nuzzles into your neck again, evidently still addicted to your essence. Her afterglow and the low lights only enhance her beauty to near-godlike levels, and it works perfectly to her advantage.
“Fine. But your ass is mine all weekend.”
She giggles, “Fine, as if it isn't already.”
~~~
a/n: for everyone who reads this far look forward to more off*iz from our other very lovely writers!
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indianajonessadhats · 3 months
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And now for something completely different. Here's a nice video about the art of sound editing, which starts off with a nice little intro regarding the Wilhelm scream; I'm sure you're all familiar.
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JUST KIDDING.
This is a sad hat.
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This is a different sad hat.
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Courtesy, of. well.
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Yeah, just watch the video.
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Hi! I’ve sent you two asks already, sorry for bothering you. I just can’t stop thinking about nhthcth, but I was wondering, does Jon get paid? Was he getting paid as a child?
For some reason I got this idea in my head that if Jon didn’t get paid the contract wouldn’t work. Because like, contracts are usually an agreement that one person does one thing and gets another thing in return. Like the Magnus Institute’s contract is like “you work here and never leave and sell your soul to me and I’ll give you maybe more than minimum wage,” so if Jon didn’t get paid, the Institute wouldn’t be holding up their end of the contract, so Jon wouldn’t need to hold up his end and he could leave.
Although I don’t know how that would work when Jon’s a child, he wouldn’t have a bank account, (does he have one as an adult?) I assume it would just go to his legal guardian’s bank account, which I guess would be Elias, but did Elias ever fully adopt Jon? Like legally? Did Elias have to forge adoption papers and stuff or did he just kidnap a child and hoped he’d get away with it. (I suppose he did get away with it) does Jon even have an ID? How did he go to university when he doesn’t have any school history past third grade?
Anyway, sorry I started rambling, you of course don’t have to answer this (nor do you need my permission not to answer, so I’m not sure why I said that) this is just a funny little question I was thinking about. Also, sorry if you’ve answered this already or there’s something in the fic that would answer it and I didn’t notice. Thank you for the amazing story and answering my other asks.
So, you've actually hit the nail on the head on one of the very important rules for nhthcth as a universe, insofar as like, magic systems (for lack of a better word) goes. That being said, a lot of the specifics of this ask is something that I can't answer due to spoilers (like how he went to university, whether elias ever adopted him, whether he has an ID). Those will receive direct explanations in the course of the fic so I can't answer them here.
But as to like, the magic system itself, it's already been seen/addressed in the fic (in a lot of disparate bits and pieces), so I don't have a problem with a more detailed explanation below the cut.
so, most of this system has been in subtext and broken up amongst a lot of little moments in the fic itself. its there but figuring it out takes a lot of patchwork. I don't currently have a more explicit breakdown of the system in the narrative itself because having like, Jon explain it super explicitly feels a bit too much like those internal monologues of an anime fight scene where the characters are having these really in-depth breakdowns of what they're planning and what's happening while they're throwing each other through walls. I just like more subtle storytelling, personally? A lot of the time, it just becomes so painfully obvious that they're talking to the audience and it feels clunky and unnatural. So I scattered the foundation of this amongst a bunch of little moments throughout.
You're absolutely dead on about contracts needing to be "one person gets one thing and the other person gets the other." That is a hard and fast rule in nhthcth, and it has everything to do with what the Web is.
One of my favorite bits about TMA world building is that the fears as so metaphysical. Which makes for a very fun (again, for lack of a better word) magic system. I hate it when magic systems break their own rules or become too powerful and you can just supercharge on the Power Of Friendship to do basically anything if you Believe Enough. Personally, I think characters get to really shine and show their intelligence when you stick them with very narrow and firm rules and make them work inside that system without breaking it. TMA in particular does an amazing job with that.
The Fears are the platonic ideals of their own identities and they legitimately cannot resist what they are. The episode with the Web's theatre production best encapsulated this: The Web said something along the lines of "If only you could see the strings on me."
In that same episode, Jon almost got trapped in the Web domain watching endless plays, because the Eye could not resist what it is, and what it is is something that spectates pain endlessly. The Web couldn't resist trapping Jon in there, because that's what it is, despite the fact that it would have fucked its own endgame if it trapped the Archivist in its fucked up theatre production until the End claimed them all. They're incredibly powerful beings, but they're still, in a way, trapped by their own nature. Humans can change, adapt, be different, but the Entities can't be anything but what they are.
In nhthcth there's a line that i tend to use again and again to encapsulate this, and it's usually something along the lines of "These things only are what they are."
They're not versatile forces. They're not a flexible tool like most magic systems where you can use this abstract and malleable force to cast the Spell of Fire and the Spell of Healing and the Spell of Ketamine Ape. They can only do what their own existence allows them and they cannot resist their own nature. It's one of the reasons why Jon in nhthcth is so insistent that the Eye can't be used as a force for good--good is completely outside of its existence. If you know anything about Greek philosophy, I think Plato's idea of the forms is pretty analogous to what the Entities are and how they work.
Which is also why Jon's like, "Duh, of course it's the Web that's got us bound and not the Eye. That's what the Web does."
The Eye just isn't about binding and trapping. What Jonah can use it to do is completely limited to stuff that falls under the Eye's umbrella. He could have the most powerful connection to the Eye on the planet (he doesn't), but that doesn't mean he can supercharge on Eye God Juice and blast a hole through the wall with the power of his mind, right? That would make the entire magic system in TMA ridiculous. In the same way, he can't use the Eye to enforce contract terms. That's not what the Eye does.
That's the Web, through and through. So when you're considering the contract, you have to think in terms of what the Web is.
The thing about the Fears is that they're shown to be a little multifaceted in that multiple distinct fears fit beneath the same umbrella with them. Take the Eye. The fear of someone knowing your deepest, darkest secrets fits beneath it, right? And that's very much Jonah's area of expertise. He probably fed on Martin's terror about being discovered for forging his CV for years. He neutralized Daisy by finding out the secrets that hurt her and using them against you. He's the invasive, watching part of the eye that may know your secrets and want to use it against you.
but the Eye is also the fear of someone watching your pain, your suffering, and (for lack of a better term) getting off on it. Enjoying it. It's bleeding out in the street and, when help finally arrives, they just sit down next to you and watch eagerly as you die.
That is so much the Archivists role.
Sometimes, I think of how terrifying the Archivist would be if it wasn't Jon in the role. Don't get me wrong--he has his moments of terrifying power, and he definitely didn't get good reviews on yelp from statement givers. But, fundamentally, he does care.
But imagine you go to the Magnus Institute under the assumption that they may help. You sit there and you tell them the worst fucking thing that ever happened to you. It's like you're experiencing it a second time, in all the horrific detail. You're retraumatized all over again, and then the Statement ends and you're sitting there, tape recorder still running, and you realize the person you went to for help just... enjoyed every second of pain you went through. There's one episode in particular that I think pulled this feeling off so well--the one where the guy in Scotland who found Gertrude's circle opened with something along the lines of "I don't care about any of this. I just want to know if you'll save my son." Like, imagine the horrible, crushing horror of going to someone for help and the moment you realize that were never going to do anything. They just wanted to watch you die too.
It's also one of the reasons that I think that Jon, for all he thrived as the Archivist, kept so much of who he was because of the inaction part specifically. In Season 1, he makes these vague mentions to fights he's getting into with Elias. Elias keeps lecturing him about noninterference, how they're here to research and not interfere, and Jon has these moments were he's like "anyway I don't give a fuck there's fucking leitners out there and if i have my way there will be a hell of a lot less of them." He legitimately says at one point that he's going to get another lecture about Institute mission statements and watching without interference.
Jon made so many bad choices when he was Becoming, but the one he consistently made against Becoming was that, almost against his will, he wanted to save people. That's picking the opposite of what the Eye is, and I think that that's the part of him that he got to keep.
that was more of an aside and not so relevant to the question. i got on a tangent. but it's here now so it stays. i already typed it. Anywho.
Jonah can't do what Jon does. He can't compel answers out of people. He's a panopticon, and the fear he embodies is that someone may be watching you and catch you in the act. It's not the fear of someone forcing the information out of you. But Jon can't do with Jonah does either. He can't just hop through eyes and spy on people. That's not his relationship with the Eye or the part of it he embodies.
They both have a very metaphysical limitation to their own experience with the Eye, because the idea of the Eye itself is just a human classification. Maybe Jon's sky blue and Jonah's dark blue and the Eye's all the blues, but at the end of the day, we just made up the idea of "blue" to explain our own experience with colors. They don't get to wield the full spectrum of "colors" available under the Eye. They can both be attached to the Eye but they're completely limited to what it means to be sky blue versus dark blue.
So it's important to remember that when you consider the contract, because it's just an aspect of the Web. It's not every aspect of the Web.
The Web is the fear of being totally under control of another--think raymond fielding in Hill Top Road, Mr. Spider, forcing people to walk, that kind of thing--but it's not just that. It's also the fear of being manipulated. Of being outmaneuvered. And I think that fits much more metaphysically with what a contract is than being under total and absolute control.
A contract is just an agreement of rules that two parties have to abide by, right? And sometimes the contract is way more favorable to one party than the other, but we also recognize that there's limits to that. You named a very big one--"this for that." For contracts to be enforceable, there has to be this thing we call "consideration." I get this, you get that. If the contract read "I have to give you one million dollars and you don't have to do anything" that'd be a gratuitous promise and it wouldn't be an enforceable contract.
That being said, consideration doesn't have to be balanced. The contract doesn't have to be fair. I don't know a super huge amount of British law (though a lot of American law is derived from it) but in american contract law we have a standard that basically says there has to be a "mere peppercorn" of consideration. We're not going to see if the exchange is fair, just if there is an exchange. there's this huge body of law around what's allowed in contracts and how contracts should be interpreted because we recognize that, at a certain point, something isn't a contract anymore. It breaks the rules of exchange.
And I think that very much goes towards the real fear the Web would be working with when it comes to the contracts. Think of like, law dramas. People like law dramas because the characters show off how clever they are. They're working in some system of rules and then at the eleventh hour they pull out some kind of loophole or interpretation that saves the day, right? The fact that there are limits and rules to what the characters can do is exactly what makes it so exciting when they figure out how to flip them in their favor. You need to have the chance to succeed in the system, however small, or it all just kind of becomes meaningless. There's no point in manipulation or machinations if you instantly lose no matter what.
That's the exact fear the Web would be playing on with the contracts, in my mind. It's being at the mercy of someone who has to follow the same rules as you, but they're grossly skewed in the other person's favor and the other person is better at using them. It's being stuck in a game where both players have to follow the rules but you have no idea what the rules are, and the other player gets to know them and have them severely favor them.
But the entire fear just becomes kind of ridiculous if it's not limited. It kind of becomes like a game of make believe between little kids if you can just write something in the contract without limitation. Like saying "well, my power is at one million percent" "my power is at one BILLION percent" "my power is at FIVE TRILLION percent." Right? Like, if you're playing that game, the rules don't really mean anything. It's all just bullshit. It doesn't invoke the fear of someone manipulating the rules against you. If the contract terms don't enforce obligations against Jonah too, it just sort of leaves the realm of what fear this is, which breaks the rules of the magic system. Being totally at someone's mercy is just a different fear than having someone outmaneuvering you at rules you both are stuck with.
Which means that, for the contract to be what it is, Jonah has to be bound by it in some way. It has to follow some kind of rules that bind him too. It can be very unbalanced and favor him greatly, but it still needs to set some kind of obligation and limit on him or the entire thing becomes ridiculous.
That's why Jonah so aggressively tries to keep Jon from trying to learn the terms of the contract. If Jon knew the way Jonah was bound by the contract, he'd be able to use the rules against him. Jon's playing the same game as Jonah, but he never got to see the rulebook.
We know two ways from canon that you can use to escape the contract: (1) gouge out your own eyes and (2) the archivist dies and the assistants can leave. but we never see the terms of the contract itself, and the fact that option #2 popped up in season 5 when all we knew before that was option #1 means that maybe there are more ways to break the contract and maybe there aren't. Maybe it's just options 1 and 2, or maybe there's other ways to escape we never figured out. Why do options 1 & 2 work? Is it explicitly written out somewhere in the binding instrument? Is it some loophole that not even elias expected? All we know for certain is that ways out of the contract include but may not be limited to options 1 and 2.
So, yes, Jon gets paid. But is that a term of the contract? Was that the consideration that Jonah wrote down in the Web's binding contract, or is there something else? Jon doesn't know, so he can't use it against him.
Maybe Jonah does have to pay Jon under the contract. Or he's only paying Jon to keep up appearances. Like, yeah, maybe the metaphysically binding contract would allow him to chain people here without paying them, but payroll would still have massive questions about why the Institute Head's angry adoptive son has been the Institute's unpaid slave worker for the past decade.
One of Jonah's biggest strategies to keep Jon from escaping is to abide very strictly by what may or may not be the terms of the Web's contract. Jon can't deduce what the rules are if Jonah voluntarily plays by more rules than he has to.
Take Elias's promise to Tim, for example. Jon still doesn't even know how the Web contract is formed. It sure as hell isn't simply the contract that most employees see--there's no clause that says "and by the way you can never ever quit or leave or you will die xoxoxoxo." Are all the terms already written down somewhere he can't find? Could oral promises be binding? He has no idea, because Elias is never going to act in a way that lets him eliminate the possibility. He'll follow the letter of his promise, and maybe that's because he has to or he'll breach the contract, or maybe that's because he's choosing to keep his promise when he doesn't have to. Elias keeps the terms of the contract unclear by following more rules than he has to.
It's one of the reasons why he uses so much doublespeak. Elias says something like "I'll keep my word, and you'll have to do the same." That only tells us things we already knew--Tim would have to be bound by the contract and wouldn't be able to leave. He'll keep his word, but does Elias have to under the contract? If he broke his word, Jon would be able to conclusively tell that oral conditions are non-binding. He'd know that there's some kind of outside binding instrument that has the rules already set out, and Elias can't change them with an oral promise. But if Elias toes the letter of the oral condition no matter what, then it could be because he has to or it could be because he chose to.
There are rules that Elias has to abide by, but Jon is only pretty certain of a few: 1) He has to have Jon's signature before he moves people into his department. He can't give him assistants unless Jon signs off on it first. Jon only got that much because Elias tried so damn hard to get his signature for the transfer. If Elias could break that rule, there's a pretty good chance that he would have, but he didn't so it probably means he can't. It's a place the contract almost definitely binds him too. 2) the contract kills you if you spend too long away from the Institute, but Elias has a way of letting you stay away for longer. If Jon leaves without approval, then he gets sick within a few weeks. But he's made it months away from the Institute just because Elias approved the leave.
So is that because Elias is the one who triggers the contract killing you in the first place? Or does he have a way of stopping a power that will automatically go off.
If the contract reads, "In the case of unapproved absences, the Head of the Institute may file Form B45, the 'Kill My Errant Employees' Form, and the employee will suffer a heart attack within a period not to exceed fourteen (14) days," then they'd be able to pretty effectively escape just by finding a way to immobilize Elias permanently--chuck him in the Buried, he'll never die but he also won't be able to file a Kill My Errant Employee Form. But if the contract reads "In the case of unapproved absences, the employee will suffer a heart attack within a period not to exceed fourteen (14) days unless the Head of The Institute files Form U95, Approved Leave of Absences," then they need him alive and mobile to file a leave of absence form so Jon won't fucking die the next time he's kidnapped for a month. Or maybe a leave of absence form isn't necessary if Jon's only kept away because of a kidnapping. Maybe the contract reads "In the case of unapproved and voluntary absences" and being involuntarily missing isn't a breach at all. They don't know, because Elias is going to file the fucking leave of absence form whether or not he has to.
If they knew the exact rules and minute details of the contract terms, they could wriggle their way into an exception that makes their conditions more livable. Instead, they're just stuck with a very broad correlation between Elias's action and/or inaction and the contract not killing you when you leave for long periods on approved absences. Maybe they could just chuck him in the Buried and fuck off, but fuck if they know, and that's the sort of risk you really can't take unless you're certain.
A lot of Jon testing boundaries with Elias has been trying to figure out the boundaries of the contract. Remember in the martyrs chapter, where Martin is like "jon why do you have an employee email you're like sixteen???" it's because jon was already an employee, and employees are required to have an official email. He knew it and Elias knew it even if no one else did.
If Elias refused him an official institute email, Jon would know that the contract does not require him to provide all employees with Institute-standard resources as outlined in the employee manual. Maybe sections of the employee manual isn't binding, maybe the entire thing isn't binding. Jon knows breaking the Institute dress code probably isn't a part of the binding contract because of his Epic Fashion Moments (or, if it is, the penalty isn't death like leaving is), but does that apply to all parts of the employee manual? If he doesn't get an official email at the shiny age of sixteen when he's Not Supposed To Be Employed, then he knows another section of the employee manual just doesn't have teeth. But if Elias just gives him what any employee would be entitled to, then it could be because he had to or it could be because he chose to.
It's also the reason why getting people to quit was important to jon--yes, he was trying to get people free of the Institute, but if he pushed someone into quitting, he'd be able to test out some very valuable information about the contract. Can people quit if Elias allows it? Maybe the rule is that the Archives can't quit, but everyone else can if Elias allows it. Maybe everyone can quit if Elias lets them. Maybe no one can quit and they're all fucked. If Elias can let some people quit but never lets them quit, then Jon has no data points to work with when trying to figure out how people escape the contract.
Which is also why elias flipped his shit and burned the HR records the one time Jon managed to get his hands on them. Over the years, there have been people who unknowingly stumbled into one of the rules binding Elias, and he let them quit without protest. There's a very good chance that that's because he had to let them quit. If Jon could find the common denominator between people who quit successfully, then maybe he could figure out how to do the same, which is why Elias has spent so long making sure he gets as little information as possible to work with. Jon can't win the game if he never learns the rules.
It is important to note that Elias breaking the terms of the contract that bind him may not be "and now Jon can finally go home oh my fucking god." The penalties for breach of contract, that we know of, are death. Does Elias face the same penalties if he breaches? Does he face some kind of other penalty? We don't know yet, because Elias is guarding those terms like his fucking life depends on it.
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exopelagic · 12 days
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i am in hell
#I literally just can’t bring myself to care about this proposal#I KNOW it’s important and I have limited time now#as of today I have two weeks to finish it and I currently have written nothing <3#I’m meant to have a first draft by Monday#but it’s 5pm and I’m so sleepy and I am overwhelmed whenever I look at it#I’ve read so much. so much. and I still feel like I know nothing. and my supervisor is kinda useless#I think the real problem might be that there’s so much stuff that I’m scaring myself off#and I know I need to take it a little bit at a time but to do THAT I have to wade through my folder of like 60 sources#and figure out which one said the specific thing I’m thinking of or like where to look to find what I need to write about#and I keep reading stuff that makes me feel like I’m talking complete shit because I could be! my supervisor sure as fuck hasn’t checked!#I need to write what’s basically a mini literature review on the stuff that’s relevant and I mean like I THINK that this hasn’t been done#but people have been studying stuff in this field for like 70 years so you know how many papers that is. the last 40 are even relevant today#idk. I was falling asleep in the library yesterday after an hour and I’ve gotten so little done this week#if anyone has recommendations for reference management software that 1. can make tags to organise things 2. can have little notes added#3. can import from zotero I would love you forever#pls god help me I’m drowning here#luke.txt
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little-writers-posts · 2 months
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Something More Between Us (The Milkman x GN Reader)
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Author's Note: A short draft that was playing in my mind because of the milkman on TikTok. I hope you enjoy.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 781
The clock marked 9 p.m., marking the end of my shift as a doorman at the apartment complex where I live. I stretched out on the chair and sighed. At the same time, the other doorman comes through the door to take my place and start his shift.
“Hey, (Y/N), how was your day?” he asked as he started to unpack his things.
“A little tiring, to be honest. Had four residents, plus two without an entry request, and caught six doppelgangers, some more violent than others, but it comes with the job, I suppose.” I said as I packed my things.
“I’m lucky to be on the night shift” he smiled. “I only have three tenants on the list, and according to the DDD all the tenants are in the building except for those.”
“Don’t be careless. Our lives are at stake here.” I warned. “But, you’re right, you’re lucky.” I smiled.
I quickly scanned his list for the night and my heart skipped a beat. Francis name was there, I assume he left for his job as a milkman and, if I remember correctly from my night shifts, he was one of the first to arrive. 
When I started working as a doorman as well as living at the building, one of the perks was to get to know the people who lived in the same space. I always thought that Francis was good-looking, even with those tired eyes. However, even if we do chat a bit at the door or on the occasional bump in the corridors, we never really moved past that. He is a very reserved person and prefers to keep things private, I get that, plus he never seamed that interested in me.
As I was lost in thought, I heard two voices in the entrance lobby and realised my colleague was gathering all the folders to check the information.
“Mmm… Hello” I heard Francis say through the door.
“Good evening mister Mosses” greeted the doorman. “Let’s see…”
I resume my packing, picking up some final things left and reaching for the keys to my apartment.
“All good! You may go.”
“Perfect.”
The second voice reached for the window, “Good evening.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Looking good as always Mr. Gauss”
Once I had everything I left for my own apartment. When I reach the elevator, I saw that Francis was holding the door.
“Oh, thank you.”
“It’s nothing,” he said, “Izaack is also coming so I thought I might wait for both.”
I joined in and backed up against the wall, standing next to him.
“Our prettiest doorman is joining us today, its always a pleasure walking with you” Izaack mentioned as the door shuts, “Did you think about my proposal?”
I sighed for what seems like the thousandth time today. “I am not interested in going on a date with you, thanks.”
“Oh, come on, (Y/N).” He insisted. “It’s going to be fun, I promise. And I’m not just talking about dinner, you know?”
He stepped closer to me. Suddenly, I felt slightly trapped in that elevator. I tried to move further back, but I was already up against the wall. Isaack started to raise his hand to grab me by the chin and possibly bring me even closer to him. However, it didn't come to that. A body came between me and the raised hand.
“Geez, Francis, relax” Isaack chuckled. “I was just messing arround.”
The doors to the elevator opened on the second floor. Isaack was walking out into the corridor, but looked back before the doors closed again.
“You sure can be scary when you’re angry Mosses” He gave that characteristic smile of his. “See you tomorrow.”
The doors closed and Francis moved out of the way.
“Thank you” I whispered to him.
“Hm.” He raised his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen, if he ever bothers you again liked that, let me know, ok?”
“Oh, don’t worry, Francis” I said while massaging the back of my neck “He's infuriating, that’s true, and persistent, but I can deal it him.”
The elevator reached the third floor.
“I mean it.” He said while leaving to his apartment. “I… I do worry about you.”
I was about to put the key in the door when I suddenly stopped and looked at him. He stared at me with his tired but expectant eyes.
"I didn't know..." An embarrassed but broad smile appeared on my face "Thank you, Francis, I care about you too, a lot."
He nodded and gave a small smile, turning and heading for his apartment. 
After all, there might be something more between us than I thought.
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authorhjk1 · 7 months
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Pool Party
(Lee Ahin X Nancy Mcdonie X Male Reader)
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You look one more time at the document, lying in front of you. It's Friday evening. Everyone else is going to enjoy the weekend. You sigh as you get out of your seat. Your weekend is going to be quite hectic.
"Sajangnim."
Mi-ra makes you lift your head.
"This is the report from the Diesel headquarters in Italy."
You take the thin binder out of her hand. Flipping through it, you scan the numbers.
"And here is the final draft for the Korean Air contract."
A way bigger folder this time.
"Thank you, Mi-ra."
You chuckle as you stand up.
"Now I have something to read before going to bed."
Your secretary smiles, while she bows.
"If you need any assistance over the weekend, please let me know, sir. I will gladly help."
"Thank you, but I'm sure I will manage. You are going on a trip with your boyfriend. I don't want to hold you back."
She nods, a glad smile on her face.
"Thank you, sir. I'm really excited."
"Where are you going?"
"My parent's neighbors have a big get together. We are invited."
"Ah, I see."
The two of you continue to talk as you walk towards the door.
"So, you are going back to Busan, then?"
"Yes, I am."
Mi-ra takes your jacket off the coat stand.
"I always wanted to go there, but I haven't found the time do so yet. Thank you."
She gives you your jacket, before you open the door for her.
"I'm sure our neighbors would love to invite you next year."
You laugh at her joke, before closing the door to your office behind you.
"I'm heading out for today. You can get off work now as well.
"You can always call me, sir. In case something comes up."
"Don't worry about it. I need you here next week. Fully recharged and energized. I won't call you."
Stepping through the front door, you immediately realize, what Ahin has made out of your agreement. If you only knew she meant this weekend. You groan as you hear the loud music echo through your house.
After taking your shoes and jacket off, you walk down the hallway. It seems Ahin's speaker is inside your living room. Putting your briefcase down on the kitchen counter, you see that Ahin made cookies. Probably for her guest. You don't bother asking her, putting one of them into your mouth, while taking another one. The warm cookies make the chocolate on the inside melt.
You savor the taste, walking into your living room. The sight of your dinner table almost causes you to let the second cookie fall out of your hand.
You never expected Ahin and her friend to play poker. You never expected her friend to be this sexy and alluring. And you never expected the two of them to sit at your table, barely wearing anything.
While the young brunette is still wearing denim shorts, your girlfriend is showing off her beautifully sculpted body. Since you are standing behind her, you have a good view of her naked shoulders and back. And especially her butt cheeks.
There is no way she is sitting like this without purpose. She must have known you would come home eventually. And she must have known you wouldn't be able to resist her. Her body perfectly on display in this colourful bikini.
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Her hair looks somewhat like cotton candy and her nails match that colour.
Ahin's friend is wearing a blue, orange top, which is hiding her midriff. She looks just as beautiful as the woman in front of her. Her aura is model like and you realize she must be one of Ahin's ex band mates.
"Do you give up?"
Her voice is barely audible over the loud music.
You see Ahin shaking her head. It seems like none of the two noticed your appearance yet.
"Show me what you got."
Taking a step closer, you can see Ahin's friend revealing her cards. Two pairs. Your girlfriend shifts around in her chair, before revealing her own hand. She only got a pair of eights.
The brunette's evil laugh makes you chuckle as she pushes a full shot glass towards your girlfriend.
You check your watch. 7pm. Isn't that a little early?
You walk closer as Ahin tilts her head back. Only now you see the bottle of tequila standing on the table.
Standing right behind her, the brunette looks at you. It is obvious that this isn't exactly their first round and she lost a couple of times already. She gives you a slight smirk, but doesn't say anything.
Ahin groans as she puts the glass down.
You reach forward, wanting to scare her. Ahin jumps as she feels your hands on her naked shoulders.
"Yah!"
She is about to turn around, but you sneak your arms around her midriff, right beneath her chest.
"Hello, sexy."
You hear her chuckle in your ear as she slightly turns her head.
"Hi, daddy."
You knew this was coming. But you're glad the bottle of liquor isn't as empty as you thought at first. The two of them couldn't have drunk more than two or three shots each. Still, you don't know their tolerance for alcohol.
"Wanna play with us?"
Ahin kisses your cheek.
"I have a lot of work to do this weekend. I can't afford getting drunk."
She pouts at you, before struggling to get out of your hug.
"Fine. Don't play with us then."
She seems hurt as she collects all the cards from the table.
"I don't have a problem with playing. I'm just saying I can't drink."
"Or are you scared you are going to lose?"
Ahin's friend grins at you, obviously challenging you to a play.
"What am I betting? I'm not gonna drink."
You pull out the chair at the head of the table. Ahin to your left, her friend to your right.
"And no, I don't have cash on me right now."
"Why don't you bet your clothes?"
"Nancy!"
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Ahin looks at the brunette and you expect her to yell at her further. Instead, she shuffles the cards.
"He is still MY boyfriend."
You see Nancy rolling her eyes.
"Come on. You told me about your agreement. He is allowed to fool around."
Watching the two of them, you wonder what Ahin told Nancy about you.
"Fine."
Your girlfriend shrugs her shoulders. First, you think that's all she has to say on the matter. But you quickly find out that Ahin has more tricks up her sleeve.
Her toes reach your leg, slowly starting to dance over your skin. Their purpose clear.
Ahin deals two cards to everyone, while her foot makes its way up your leg.
"Shouldn't we all bet the same?"
Nancy raises an eyebrow at your innocent question.
"Don't you think your girlfriend would have a small disadvantage?"
Looking at Ahin, you know the brunette is right. Except for her bikini, Ahin isn't wearing a thing.
"Do you want to keep drinking then?"
"No."
Ahin shakes her head.
"I hate the taste."
You grin, while Nancy laughs at her.
Ahin places the five cards in the middle of the table. A king of hearts, an eight of spades, a seven of spades and a queen of clubs.
The two women check their cards and so do you. A two of clubs and a three of spades. Well, that's a great start. You sigh internally, while trying to read the girl's faces. This isn't the first time you play and although there is no money on the line, you want to win. Having the chance to see both of them naked is enough motivation.
Ahin frowns, while Nancy seems to like her hand. You don't know how well they play, but you doubt they would fake their facial expressions.
"I bet a sock."
Nancy looks around the table, unable to hide her grin. Ahin is visibly mispleased. Because of her hand, or because she has barely anything to offer. Or both.
"My tie."
There is still room for improvement. And you want to undress the two of them as soon as possible.
You look at Ahin. She shifts around in her seat, about to give up. Unbeknownst to you, Nancy wiggles her eyebrows mockingly at Ahin, before slowly sliding her left hand over the table in your direction. Although Ahin doesn't mind sharing you, she doesn't want to give up without a fight.
"Guess I'm gonna start drinking again."
Ahin pours herself a glass, but not without her foot now resting on your knee.
"Isn't that a little unfair? You could drink the whole bottle and still be dressed."
"I doubt she can drink that much, Nancy."
The brunette shrugs her shoulders.
"We will see."
She takes a card from the pile next to the revealed cards. She smiles, before putting one of the old ones, face down, next to the pile.
"I keep going."
"And what are you going to bet?"
"My other sock."
Nancy watches you as you take the next card.
A three of clubs. At least it's a pair. If you are lucky, Ahin doesn't even have that.
"I bet a sock as well."
Ahin takes a card as well, before putting one back. She sighs, before reaching for Nancy's shot glass. She fills it without a word.
You look around, before you motion Nancy to show her cards.
With a smug grin, Nancy places her cards on the table. A king of clubs and an eight of hearts. Two pairs.
You show your own cards. A lousy pair of threes.
To your surprise, Ahin's face suddenly changes.
"Got you!"
With a laugh, she places her own cards on the table. A king of spades and a queen of hearts.
You sigh as you start to undo your tie. Nancy bends under the table, reaching for her socks. Her denim shorts are tightly hugging her cheeks, you turn your head, hoping Ahin didn't catch you staring. Leaning down as well, you take off one of your own socks.
Putting it on the table, next to Nancy's, you are surprised, when Ahin suddenly reaches for them and starts to put them on.
"What are you doing?"
"This is only fair. I started with a disadvantage."
Ahin puts on your sock and one of Nancy's. She let's your tie dangle from her shoulders.
Nancy reaches for the cards, ready to start dealing. You realize that this might not be as easy as you thought it would be.
"I bet my pants."
You look at Nancy. After winning her socks back, she lost them to Ahin again. You are already sitting in your chair without your tie and an unbuttoned shirt. You lost it to Nancy, but now you got it back.
"I bet my shirt again."
You look at your cards. You currently have a flush, confident that you are going to win this round.
"I bet my second sock."
Well, it's yours to be exact.
Nancy puts her cards on the table. A straight. You show your own cards. Nancy's smile drops and Ahin frowns again. Although, you don't really trust her face anymore.
Your girlfriend sighs and puts her cards down. Two pairs. You take your sock back, before turning to Nancy.
"Are you going to watch me take them off?"
You shrug your shoulders.
"Might as well."
"Fine."
You see her winking at Ahin, before standing up. Leaning back, you watch Nancy undo the button on the front. She turns around, bending forward.
You feel Ahin's toes glide over your crotch as Nancy slightly wiggles her hips. Turning back for just a moment, you see Ahin watching her as well. Her chin resting in her hand, her elbow placed on the table.
Nancy makes a show out of it. She slowly reveals her round butt, while slightly swaying her hips from left to right. Her thick thighs look invitingly delicious. Looking over her shoulder, she makes sure that you are watching. Her bottoms match her top. Blue and orange in the same pattern. Nancy's ass seems slightly fuller than Ahin's.
The brunette throws her denim pants onto your lap. Your girlfriend's foot is still doing small circles on your crotch.
Once she sits down, Nancy reaches for the cards, ready to shuffle them again. You have to look into Ahin's eyes, needing to tell her to stop moving her foot. She looks at you with fake innocence, smiling at you.
Nancy deals the cards. You look at yours. A king of hearts and an ace of hearts. A good start.
You see both of them smiling as well. Are they fooling you? Or do they actually have good cards?
Nancy reveals the five cards in the middle. Looks like you have won this round. Time to finish this game quickly.
"I bet my shirt, my pants and Nancy's shorts."
You pretend to hide your grin, hoping the two of them would think you are bluffing. Ahin scoffs.
"You seem really confident."
You shrug your shoulders.
"Fine."
Ahin looks down on herself. She is still not wearing much.
"I bet my last sock."
Nancy shakes her head.
"You have to bet the same amount."
Your girlfriend glares at you.
"Alright. I bet both of my socks. And..."
She looks down on herself again.
"And my bottoms."
Finally you are getting somewhere.
"What are you doing?"
Nancy looks at her with suspicion.
"What do you mean?"
Ahin fakes her innocence once more.
The younger one rolls her eyes, before looking at her cards. After seeing the two of you bet so much. And after watching Ahin take another card, she eventually does the same.
"I bet my..."
It's her turn to look down on herself. You hide your smile as you see her face when she realizes she isn't wearing enough clothes.
"I... I bet my top and my bottoms."
Ahin shakes her head.
"One more."
"I don't have anything."
"That sucks for you."
You honestly don't quite understand, why the two of them have started to become so competitive. If this is about having sex with you, wouldn't it be smarter to lose first?
"Than I'm gonna..."
Nancy realizes that you already brought the tequila to safety, after Ahin lost a round and had to take three more shots. You gave her water, which made her feel a little better. Sleeping with a drunk woman isn't the same as with a sober one. Plus, it feels like you would take advantage of her. But now, Ahin seems alright again.
"No alcohol anymore."
Nancy looks at you after your comment.
"Fine."
She glances at your crotch, before looking at Ahin.
"I bet my mouth."
A slight smirk plays around her lips.
"What?"
Ahin's voice is a little louder than usual.
"If you win, I'm gonna eat you out."
Nancy says that as if she has done that a hundred times already.
"If your boyfriend wins..."
She trails off, but places her left hand on your thigh.
You feel yourself harden underneath Ahin's foot at the thought.
"We said we would only bet clothes and tequila."
She definitely felt it too.
"So what?"
Nancy faces you.
"You have almost more clothes on than the two of us combined. Which means, we will need something to make it fair, right?"
Ahin senses your inner conflict. Of course you want to side with your girlfriend. But a blowjob from her model like friend?
Before you can speak up, you hear Ahin's voice.
"Fine. I will raise you though. I bet my top, too."
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She reaches behind her and pulls at the bow on her back. Ahin's bikini top comes loose. Except for a little more cleavage, it doesn't reveal much more, still held up by the thin straps on her shoulders. But the message is clear.
"It's not your turn y-"
You try to ease the tension, but you are interrupted by Nancy.
"I offer my thighs."
You turn towards her.
"You can touch them, fuck them,"
Her voice suddenly turns into a whisper.
"Cum on them."
"Yah!"
Ahin looks at her with fire in her eyes.
"Nancy Jewel Mcdonie!"
Is that her full name? For some reason, her name makes Nancy seem even sexier.
"What is it Ahin?"
She glares back at your girlfriend.
"I-I"
She stutters, trying to come up with something.
"I will- I will let you fuck my throat. You can cum as often as you want."
Nancy scoffs, while you try to remain calm. What is happening right now? Are the two of them doing this because they actually want you, or just because they don't want to lose to each other?
"That's boring, girl."
Nancy leans forward to push Ahin's foot out of your lap. She places her hand on your clothed cock, squeezing it slightly.
"You can have my pussy. Fuck me all day, baby."
Her brown eyes stare into yours as she bites her lip. For just a second, you are entranced by her, before Ahin jumps out of her chair.
"Yah!"
She takes your chin and turns your head towards her.
"Use me. Use my body all night. Do whatever you want with me."
Ahin leans forward, her lips next to your ear.
"Every hole you want."
"Girls, I-"
And once again, Nancy interrupts you.
"That's lame."
She places her hand over Ahin's and makes you face her.
"I will ride you. I'm gonna rock your world and you don't have to lift a finger. You can just enjoy my pussy."
She leans forward too, whispering into your ear, just like Ahin.
"No one has ever been in my ass before."
You finally take both of their hands and remove them from your face. Ahin seems to think about more stuff she could bet.
"I will let your cream pie me. Breed me."
She looks at you, trying to act innocent again.
"Please?"
"Both of you stop it. I-"
Nancy quickly disappears underneath the table. Before you can react, the brunette is kneeling in front of you, her hands undoing your belt.
Looks like you won this round in more ways than one.
Ahin is visibly trying to do something too. But is not quite sure, what exactly.
"You weren't lying, Ahin."
You hear Nancy's voice under the table as she pulls off your pants and traces the length of your clothed cock with her finger.
"Why would I?"
You look at Ahin, who is still trying to think about a way to beat her friend.
"Wow."
Nancy coos as she pulls down your boxers.
Your girlfriend suddenly whispers into your ear.
"Remember the rules?"
You immediately reach down. You stop Nancy from kissing your cock by grabbing a fistful of her hair, holding her in place.
"You promised, you would never sleep with someone but me in this house."
"Hey..."
You blend out Nancy's voice, trying to remember that day in your office.
"No. You said, I'm not allowed to invite anyone over. Last time I checked, this was your idea."
You know that this was Ahin's only way of getting what she wanted. She pouts at you, releasing her poor choice of words.
Looking at her for a second, you come to a quick conclusion. This is not about who invited whom. It's about the respect you have for Ahin. You are not going to fuck anyone but her in this house.
"The pool?"
You wink at her and Ahin catches what you are implying.
She nods, a devilish grin on her lips.
"Would you let go of my-"
This time it's you who interrupts her. You get up from the chair, while letting go off her hair. Your pants fall to the floor, before you reach for Nancy under the table. She is barely taller than Ahin and not noticeably heavier.
Picking her up with ease, you feel Nancy's around your neck.
"Where are we going?"
She smiles at you, still thinking she won.
Unbeknownst to her, Ahin is rushing towards the glass door to open it. Before Nancy can react, she is already flying towards the pool.
With a loud splash, she hits the water, making Ahin the only contestant for your attention. Your girlfriend quickly gets rid off her top, before pushing you towards one of the wooden deck chairs.
As soon as you sit, Ahin is already sitting between your legs, leaning forward. Her lips touch your tip as she starts to stroke you.
"Fuck."
She kisses along your shaft.
"Why does this turn me on so much?"
You chuckle at her as she starts to take your cock into her mouth.
"Yah!"
You hear water splashing. Looking over Ahin's head and her beautiful ass, you see Nancy at the edge of the pool.
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"That's cheating!"
With her mouth full, Ahin is unable to reply. But she shakes her head vigorously, making yours roll back.
"Ahin..."
You groan as she keeps going. Reaching forward, you have to hold her head in place. A week ago, Ahin found one of your soft spots. Since then, she started to use it to her advantage, whenever she needed you to cum quickly.
Just like right now. You keep her face pressed into your crotch, so she can't do anything. That results in Ahin choking as you stuff her throat with cock.
Nancy gets out of your pool, her body dripping wet. Her wet hair makes her look more mature and that small drop on her nose almost makes you laugh.
Once she reaches the two of you, she gives Ahin's naked ass a playful slap. It makes your girlfriend's body rock forward, making her take even more of your cock. You watch how her full cheeks absorb the impact.
"Since Ahin is busy with her mouth, let me use yours."
Nancy bends down, giving you a nice view of her ample cleavage, before capturing your lips with hers. You taste a faint hint of tequila on them as Nancy forces her tongue into your mouth. Unwilling to let her get the best of you, you pull her on top of you. The brunette stumbles forward, crashing into you.
You hear a muffled protest from Ahin, but you are too busy making out with Nancy. Your hands explore her wet skin as you let them glide along her waist and her back.
While your tongue explores her mouth, you hands start to get used to her body as you girlfriend's friend lies on top of you. You feel her chest pressing against you, her hand in your hair.
The two of you eventually have to break away for air.
"Those pictures Ahin send, don't do you justice."
Nancy starts to kiss your neck, her other hand sliding underneath your opened shirt.
"What kind of pictures?"
You are curious what Ahin says about you.
"A picture of you in a suit."
Nancy kisses your neck.
"A picture of you in the shower."
She gives you another peck.
"And a picture of your cock halfway down her throat."
The brunette looks up at you.
"I hope by the end of the weekend, I will have enough pictures for myself."
"Weekend?"
You thought she would stay to spend the night. At most.
"Yeah. More than enough time to take a picture of my face, covered in your cum."
You hear Ahin choking as you unconsciously thrust your hips upwards. The thought of cuming on Nancy's face makes you push Ahin's face further into your crotch with one hand, while the other starts to squeeze Nancy's tits over her top.
"You like them?"
You nod, before watching her pull her top up. It's now bunched up over her tits as she pushes her chest towards you. Opening your mouth, you capture one of her nipples, flicking your tongue against it.
Nancy moans, while you feel Ahin bobbing her head up and down. You enjoy her tits, switching between them occasionally. While Nancy keeps tugging at your hair everytime she moans, you realize that you might be coming to the end too early.
You slowly push Ahin off your cock, unable to defend yourself from one last lick of her tongue, which almost makes you cum.
"Ahin..."
You sigh, thinking she probably knows how close you are. She gives you a knowing grin, licking her lips.
"Switch places."
You try to buy some time, not wanting to cum too early.
You watch the two of them change position. Ahin is straddling your upper body, while Nancy starts to focus on your cock as she kneels in front of the deck chair.
To wonder, when Ahin possibly could have lost her top, is a waste of time. You immediately enjoy her naked chest as she leans forward. While you let your hands explore her mounds, your mouth is tasked to pepper the skin on her neck with kisses.
Your girlfriend moans as you find the spot that makes her melt. Her head is rolled back as you mark her skin while tugging at her nipples slightly.
Then, you feel Nancy's tits around your cock. They are bigger than Ahin's, but not big enough. You can feel her fingers on the upper side of your cock as she closes the gap. Her soft flesh around you feels warm and cold at the same time. Probably because her chest is wet, due to the water from the pool.
Nancy slowly starts to glide up and down along your shaft. Her tits squished together, making sure you enjoy the feeling of them wrapped around you.
At the same time, you start to take Ahin's nipples into your mouth. Just like Nancy did before, your girlfriend holds onto your hair with one hand, tugging at it occasionally.
"God yes."
She sighs as she feels your lips and tongue all over her chest. Her skin is a little softer than Nancy's.
The younger girl on her knees makes you groan as you feel her lips wrap around your tip. Everytime the tip of your cock leaves her cleavage, Nancy captures it with her mouth. Her tongue swirls around it, before she moves upwards again. Her steady rhythm suggests that this isn't her first time doing this.
You feel Ahin's biki bottoms rub against your abdomen as you keep pleasuring her. The slight wetness on your abs exposes her need for release as her clothing starts to become damp.
You realize that, since the night on Halloween, you weren't able to enjoy her pussy properly. Of course you fucked her since then, but because of your tight schedule, there wasn't much time to pleasure each other as much as you would've liked.
You place your hands on her thighs, slowly pushing her upwards. You see Ahin smirk on top of you as she realizes what you're doing. Your mind is still not completely on the task as Nancy makes sure you can't concentrate properly. Her ample tits wrap around your cock perfectly, the warm flesh makes you groan occasionally.
After a couple of moments, you finally get Ahin into the right position. Your hands are now placed on her cheeks, holding her up right in front of your face, while her legs rest on the backrest behind you.
You lick her bottoms, tasting her juices on the fabric, before looking up at her. Ahin's eyes glisten with lust as she sees you underneath her, ready to eat her out.
"Would you mind?"
It takes her a second to comprehend what you mean. With shaky fingers, Ahin clumsily undoes the ties on her bottoms. You can feel the heat coming from her body, especially her core.
You sometimes have a hard time believing that Ahin gets turned on by you fucking other women. But right now, with Nancy's tits wrapped around your cock, Ahin seems like a horny mess. Once her bottoms fall onto your chest, you see her lips glistening with her juices.
You pull her body further towards you, almost making her sit on your shoulders. Ahin moans as she feels your tongue licking her labia. Her hands are holding onto your hair as she tries to calm her body.
While you start to eat out your girlfriend, Nancy makes sure you can't focus properly. She kept up her rhythm the whole time up until now. Now, she is staying in place, her tits mostly wrapped around the lower half of your shaft. Her mouth is busy with sucking you off.
The combination of Nancy's mouth and tits around your cock is something you usually don't experience. It makes you groan, which sends shivers up Ahin's spine.
Your girlfriend is enjoying the feeling of you devouring her pussy, while her friend works your cock. Ahin's hair is a mess by now. It's hanging into her face, blocking the view. The rest of her body is starting to fail her as well. Her legs are starting to buckle. Her core is burning up and her breathing becomes faster.
While you slowly push Ahin towards her orgasm, Nancy has had enough of sucking you off. In contrast to Ahin, you haven't given her pussy any attention at all yet. Seeing you eating out your girlfriend, makes Nancy even wetter. And jealous.
She quickly gets rid of her bottoms, before inserting a finger into her own pussy. It only takes her a couple of moments, until she is completely wet. After Ahin telling her so much about you, there is no way she can keep her eyes off your cock.
Nancy straddles you, while you bring Ahin towards her high.
"Fuck!"
Your girlfriend shakes as you make her cum. You hold her securely, since her position isn't really safe.
After Ahin's body relaxes, you are about to put her down. You suddenly feel Nancy's pussy lips tease your shaft.
Without having time to prepare yourself, your eyes roll back as Nancy sinks herself onto your cock.
"Gosh, that's big."
She moans as she feels her pussy getting stretched by your cock. It has been a couple of months since Nancy had a proper fuck. Her pussy immediately clenches tightly around you.
"You've got a great cock."
Nancy shuts her eyes as she keeps lowering herself onto you. You see Ahin looking over her shoulder at her friend, studying her facial expressions.
"You look so hot riding him."
You can't see Nancy, but you can almost hear her smirk.
"I promised I would ride him."
And so she starts. Her hips meet yours whenever she slams down. And you feel her hands pushing against your abs whenever she pushes herself upwards. Her walls wrap around your cock like a sleeve and you are unable to do anything but lie in your chair.
You only realize that you are still holding Ahin, when you arms start to grow tired. With closed eyes, you try to put her down, not wanting to make her fall. You can almost feel Ahin stare at your face as she watches you. She bites her lip, loving the way your face twists in pleasure.
Once your girlfriend finally gets off of you, she returns her attention to Nancy.
"Oh my god. You are creaming all over him."
You open your eyes to verify Ahin's observation.
Your cock is slowly becoming covered with cream as Nancy is literally creaming. Her pussy feels tighter than before and yet she rides you more smoothly. Her head is tossed back, while her nails dig into the skin above your abs. Her mouth hangs open in a silent scream.
"This looks so good, baby."
Ahin leans over you again, capturing your lips with hers. The kiss is messy. There is not a hint of affection and love. Only lust and desire. Ahin slightly bites your lower lip, before you force your tongue into her mouth. Your hand is intangled in her hair, pulling her down to you.
The kiss becomes more sloppy, when you start to feel that familiar feeling inside your stomach. Nancy keeps riding you, her pussy keeps creaming around your cock, making it glide up and down on your shaft.
The young brunette has slightly changed her position. She is now squatting over you, her hands still on your abs. This way, she somehow manages to take even more of you inside of her.
You groan into the kiss, signaling Ahin that you are about to cum.
The sound of your phone ringing saves you. Not necessarily because you have to answer it, but it distracts you from Nancy's pussy.
"D-D you mind?"
You mumble into the kiss, while holding onto Nancy's hands, which are still pressing against your abdomen.
Ahin breaks the kiss to go back inside and get your phone. She can't help but watch though. She keeps her eyes on you and Nancy, while slowly walking backwards.
"Ahin..."
You motion her to hurry as you start to try to get Nancy off of you.
"I have to answer this."
As if she doesn't hear you, Nancy rides you like a crazy person. You can see how much cream she is leaking. Your whole cock is covered in it. It looks like you came in her, but you know you are barely holding on.
Finally, Ahin comes back with the phone.
"Nancy..."
She doesn't stop bouncing on you, while moaning occasionally.
"Let me take care of her."
Ahin hands you the phone, before attacking her ex bandmate. She holds her in place, while kissing her. You see her fingers rub on her clit.
"(Y/n) speaking."
Nancy's eyes are shut as Ahin plays with her, while covering her mouth with her own.
"Hello. I'm Cho Won-tae. I'm afraid we have to reschedule our meeting."
You close your eyes, unable to watch the two girls on top of you.
"That's-That's alright. What date and time do you have in mind?"
You feel Nancy tensing up around you as you hear her muffled moans.
"What do you think about Sunday?"
"I think that should work."
You almost groan as you feel Nancy's pussy clenching onto you, while Ahin keeps rubbing her clit.
"I don't have my calendar with me at the moment, though. Let me come back to you, once I've checked which time works for me."
"Alright then. I will be awaiting your call."
In that exact moment Nancy decides to cum. Her body shakes on top of you. Her walls hug you tighter than before.
"God! Fuck!"
You hear her muffled scream as she orgasms.
You do your best to hold on. And to be quiet. You can't afford getting caught by the CEO of Korean Air.
As Nancy's pussy contracts around you, you try to finish the call as fast as possible. Once you are able to hang up, you throw your phone away before holding onto Nancy's thighs. She has come down from her high, looking slightly out of it, while Ahin stands beside her.
"What was that?"
"I-I couldn't help it."
She sighs breathlessly, her skin slightly covered in her sweat.
"I can't help this either."
You sit up, pushing Nancy off of you. She stumbles to her feet. But before she can say anything, you turn her around and bend her over the chair.
"Be quiet and take it."
You push yourself inside of her again, rocking her body forward. Nancy moans as you start to fuck her from behind.
After a couple of thrusts, you realize she is having too much fun for your taste.
"Ahin."
You motion for her to walk in front of Nancy.
Your girlfriend gets the hint, sitting down on the chair right in front of Nancy's face.
"Make her cum. And maybe I will forgive you."
Ahin's eyes sparkle with amusement and lust as she sees Nancy lowering her head. Moans start to leave her mouth once she feels her friend's tongue pressing against her clit.
You reach forward, holding Nancy by her neck, while pushing her further into Ahin. Driving your cock in and out of her, you slowly start to feel that familiar feeling again. It subsided, when you got the call, now it starts to come back. You let out your frustration on Nancy for not being able to cum earlier.
Ahin has to hold the brunette's head in place while you pound into her. Her tongue is barely able to keep up as you push into her again and again.
Nancy is a mess by now. The cocky poker player is gone.
Whenever you retreat out of her pussy, you see how she is creaming on your cock. The natural lubricant helps you to fuck her harder. To fuck her deeper.
Your hands start to leave red marks on her hips as you keep pulling her body towards you while you thrust forward.
"Oh god! Please!"
You hear her moan loudly. But this time it's not muffled by Ahin's mouth, but her pussy. Your girlfriend is obviously enjoying this as you see her head rolling back. Her pink hair is flowing down her back while she bites her lip, trying not to moan.
The feeling of your upcoming orgasm increases as you keep fucking Nancy from behind. You dig your nails into her pale skin, leaving small marks on her waist. After a couple of more thrusts, Nancy has given up on pleasuring Ahin. Her head is flopping around to the rhythm of your thrusts, while her hair is flying in all directions.
Ahin is trying to make herself cum with her fingers, while watching you fuck Nancy's brains out.
"Almost there!"
Ahin's lips move, but it sounds like Nancy said it. Or did they both?
You concentrate on the task at hand. Making Nancy climax and then cum on her thighs. Like she promised. You had your eyes on them as soon as you heard her offer. Her pale skin and full flesh more than just inviting you to paint them.
"You fuck her so good!"
Ahin cums first. She arches her back as she plunges her fingers inside her pussy one last time. A high pitched moan escapes her lips as her pussy contracts around her fingers.
Only a couple of thrusts later, Nancy joins her friend in her orgasmic state. Her head falls onto the chair as her knees buckle. She cries into the chair as she cums hard on your cock. You feel her pussy squeezing your cock again and again. It makes you light headed.
And it makes you cum too.
You pull out, before flipping Nancy over. Lying on her back, her head rests in Ahin's lap as you tower over her.
You jerk yourself off with two last pumps, before shooting your load. Nancy's thick thighs get hit by your cum as you stain her pale skin. The brunette moans as she feels your hot seed on her body.
"How are you doing this?"
Ahin asks as she cums on your cock again.
It's Sunday now. Nancy has stayed the weekend. Like she promised. The two of them did their best to distract you from work. And to fuck you.
When you finally finished work on Sunday evening, you closed the deal with Korean Air, cream pied Ahin at least thrice and came almost on every part of Nancy's body.
You are unable to answer Ahin's question now as Nancy keeps riding your face. Her pussy hungry for release, her hips bucking towards you.
Ahin is riding you, just like Nancy did two days prior. Instead of lying on the chair, you are lying on a towel on the wooden deck.
The two girl's riding becomes faster. One of them tries to make herself cum, while the other tries to make you cum.
Nancy almost suffocates you with her thighs as she orgasms on your face. Her juices leak out of her as her mouth pronounces the lewdest sounds.
You feel yourself close to climaxing as well. You reach around Nancy, trying to find Ahin's waist. Once you get a hold of it, you lift Ahin up and down in your own rhythm. It's way faster and harder than how she rode you a second ago.
"Fuck, yes! Use my pussy!"
The weekend has been great. You finished all your work, are now the proud owner of an airline and had sex with Ahin and Nancy more often than you could count.
"Give her all your cum. I want to have some, too."
Nancy coos, while her thighs rub against your head. Her pussy is still hovering right above you. You lick at it, unable to resist your urge to make her cum again. The reaction is immediate as Nancy hisses.
At the same time, Ahin becomes undone around your cock. Her pussy twitches, contracts and tries to milk the cum out of you. You finally give her what she wants. As Ahin shakes on top of you, you paint her insides with cum. You see stars as you feel Nancy's thighs around your head simultaneously.
You will be definitely having breakfast by the pool tomorrow morning.
______________
Hello everyone!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. You can keep requesting until next weekend, then I'm going to start the polls for the December special.
668 notes · View notes
marvelnatr · 6 months
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Busy?
Warnings: jealous dark Nat, dom!Nat, Sub!reader, Daddy!Nat, oral r!receiving, strap on r!receiving, spanking, biting, possessive sex, degrading, daddy kink, brief use of gun from Nat, spitting, breeding kink and pinning. Minors DNI
GONNA SAY IT ONE MORE TIME MENTION OF SUGGESTED VIOLENCE
Natasha’s POV:
Looking over my files I noticed I was missing one of my pages. It must’ve gotten mixed up with Wanda’s, Carols, or Y/N’s when we were filling out mission reports. Grabbing the file I headed to Wanda’s room “hey Wands can I see your file? I think you have one of my papers” Wanda looked up from her book “yeah no problem, you know where they are”. Nodding I headed over to her desk, reaching in and pulling out this months folder. After a few minutes of looking I concluded it wasn’t there, carefully putting the folder back I looked at Wanda “thanks wands”. She nodded and mumbled a ‘you’re welcome’ too focused in her book to pay attention which I didn’t mind. Closing her door I walked down the hall and knocked on Carols room. Going in and doing the same thing I came out empty handed.
I had gotten back in my room, tossing my folder on my bed and sitting down to triple check I didn’t have the file before I texted Y/N. I was right. I didn’t have it. Picking up the phone I drafted a quick text. It was always a little awkward texting her since we broke up eight months ago. The inclination to call her a pet name has to be stifled. We broke up over a stupid argument which quickly turned into slamming doors and blew way out of proportion. When I woke up the next morning she was gone. Showed up to work and didn’t talk to me for months. We never really talked it over. She still looks at me with that same damn look yet she’s acting like she still hates me which drove me crazy. Staring at my phone I drafted a quick message
NR: hey y/n, I’m missing a file for our recent missions. I was wondering if you could look for it real quick for me? Thank you.
YN: she’s busy.
I stared at my phone for a second. My blood boiling a little at the thought of someone else with her at midnight. My emotions taking over I texted back
NR: What do you mean she’s busy? Where’s y/n?
YN: she’s busy. Goodnight.
I stared at my phone and texted back one more time
NR: give the phone to y/n.
I stared at my phone and waited for a few minutes. Receiving no answer made me more annoyed. Against my better judgment I grabbed my keys and headed to my car.
Y/N’s POV:
I pulled my phone out of my girlfriend of two weeks hands “oh my god babe don’t piss her off” she shook her head and poked me “you’re mine and she’s texting you”. I quickly laughed off her statement, and got up to get more water, trying to hide the red in my face. The truth is I’m not even sure if I am over Natasha or not. I miss her, I miss her warmth and her smile. I miss how we had our little routines. I miss our dynamic. I felt my girlfriends hands wrap around my waist as she kissed my neck from behind “what ya thinking about baby?” Putting on a smile I turned around and looked at her “nothing babe” she nodded gently and picked me up placing me on the counter and kissing me. My lips moved with hers but I didnt feel much. No sparks. No butterflies. No nothing. Just the motions.
I heard a knock at the door and leaned over looking at it. Backing away from me she winked as she went to the door and opened it. My face turning ghost white as she backed up. Natasha crossed the threshold of the door, the barrel of her Glock 19 pointed straight at my girlfriends face “who the fuck are you?” Her words flew from her mouth like poison as she glared at my new lover, my girlfriend spitting back in the same manner “I’m her girlfriend, who the fuck are you?”. Natasha’s eyes turned dark, her pupils dilated as she brought the gun closer to her head “fucking excuse you?”. I watched as she flinched, fear flooding her eyes. Starting to get up off the counter I spoke “Natasha knock it off”. Nats eyes fixated on mine while her gun stayed trained on the terrified girl standing in front of her “you’re fucking busy huh? This who you’re fucking busy with?”. Her dominance bled through her voice as I watched her. My voice coming out in a jumbled stutter as she glared at me “stay fucking put Y/N, I’ll deal with you in a minute”. Nodding I swallowed. That wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order. An order I should follow if I wanted to keep my head.
Natasha looked back at the woman “get your shit and get the fuck out, you have two minutes”. I watched as she scrambled to grab her keys and shoes while Nat followed her around with the gun. She was out the door in a little under sixty seconds, the door basically chasing her on the way out as it fell just short of clipping her heels. I watched as Natasha placed the gun on the coffee table. Her eyes watching mine as she took off her jacket, laying the leather artifact on the end of a chair nearby. We stared at each other for a minute. Silence falling over the room. I could tell she was reading me, something I was never able to reciprocate when it came to her.
After a few minutes she spoke up, annoyance lacing her voice “You got a girlfriend and didn’t tell me?” I watched her in confusion “what makes you think you had the right to know?”. Nats eyes got darker as she came closer to me “its fucking respect” I rolled my eyes “what? I was supposed to call you? ‘Oh hey Natasha by the way I have a girlfriend now after you broke my fucking heart’”
Natasha’s POV:
I glared at her, my hand making its way around her throat “you walked out, you remember that?” a silence fell over the room as she watched me, recalling the night in her head. Tightening my grip I seethed “your heart may have broke but mine shattered. So don’t fucking come at me with that Y/N”. I felt Y/N swallow against the mid of my hand. Her throat lightly pushing against it then relaxing as she watched me with fear in her eyes. Glaring at her I shook my head “so yes, I did want to know. She doesn’t even love you. I see the way she looks at you. You’re just a toy for her”. Anger flooded Y/N’s face “she does love me!” I laughed a little and questioned, my hand still around her throat “then why did she walk out so damn easily huh? Leave you with someone as dangerous as me?”. My ex lovers hand reached up to smack me. Her hand just shy of making contact with my skin, before she could I caught her wrist, gripping it in my hand “well that was dumb”
Y/N’s eyes widened as I felt her heartbeat quicken. Her pulse point pushing against the pad of my index and middle finger while my hand wrapped around her neck restricted her breathing a little more. Holding her wrist down on the counter I tilted my head “does she make you happy? Does she love you the way I could?”, the girls face was beat red as she breathed out, struggling to get her words out “n-no”. Loosening my hold I nodded “thought so. Tell me darling, do you want me back?” Y/N’s eyes turned subby as her mouth opened to answer. Moving my hand up I held her jaw, taking a minute to admire the small oval shaped red marks around Y/N’s throat from my hand. I smiled at her “go on baby, tell me” a whine fell from her lips “y-yes daddy” I rubbed my thumb over her bottom lip, her mouth opening as I smiled “such a slut for me hm? You missed me yeah?”. Y/N nodded and I smirked “go on baby, stick our your tongue for daddy”
Y/N stuck out her tongue as I smirked and leaned down, looking at her I spit in her mouth then smiled “hold it babygirl. Do not swallow. Do not let any drip out. Keep that tongue out and flat for me”, staying still she followed her orders. I chuckled as it threatened to fall from her tongue. Her eyebrows furrowing a little in worry as I watched her struggle. After a few minutes I stuck my fingers in her mouth “suck.”. Her lips wrapped around my two fingers, sucking as she looked at me. I smiled at her “so fucking pretty like this, sucking daddy’s fingers like a greedy little bitch”
A red tint fell over her cheeks as she continued to suck. Her tongue swirling around my fingers, I pushed down on her tongue, making her take my fingers in a little more. Tears pricked her eyes as she gagged slightly. I let out a quiet chuckle “atta girl, take my fingers, just like that pretty thing”. Y/N’s hips rocked on the counter, the desperate look in her eyes made me feral. Pulling my fingers out she whined, I lightly patted her cheek and tutted “oh it’s okay baby, lets see how wet you are detka”. My hand made its way down to her cunt, feeling her arousal seeping through her shorts. Moving the fabric to the side my cold fingertips trailed around her cunt. Goosebumps raising on the skin of her thighs. Placing my middle finger on her sensitive bud I rubbed in small circles, Y/N’s eyes rolling back a little as she let out a small moan “f-fucking hell” I smirked “feel good huh baby?” The girl nodded as another breathy moan fell from her lips, I smiled and removed my fingers “good”. Y/N whimpered “n-no please I need more” I laughed a little “go to our room baby”. Lifting Y/N by her hips I helped her off the counter. Smacking her ass as she ran ahead of me and I called out “position four baby”
When I got in the room I was pleased to see that she was indeed in position four. Completely stripped with her back flat to the bed. Her knees bent and legs spread, wrists together and rested above her head. She always looked so pretty like this. I went into the closet and looked for something to tie her wrist together with. Scoffing at the other womans horrible taste in clothing. Finding a tie I came back. Straddling Y/N “wrists”, holding up her wrists to me I tied them together then whispered “keep them there”. Y/N nodded and I watched her “you know damn well I dont take that head shaking shit, open your mouth and speak”. Y/N’s cheeks grew red as she whispered “y-yes daddy I’m sorry. I’ll keep my hands there”. I nodded and made my way down to her cunt.
Looking up at Y/N from between her legs I saw the desperation in her eyes. She knew better then to close her legs. As much as I would love to get the spreader bar watching her struggle to keep her legs open was just as equally entertaining. Leaning down I licked her cunt gently. Her arousal coating my tongue as I groaned “fuck I missed you baby, you taste so good my love”. Y/N’s back arched, her hands gripping onto each other as she moaned. Chuckling I began to eat her out, pulling her into me and burying my face into her cunt. Trying her best not to close her legs she squirmed. Breathy little moans falling from her lips till they became louder, turning into pathetic little pleas “p-please daddy, c-can I cum?” I laughed at her “cum? You want to cum?” She nodded as she squirmed “p-please”. Laughing I rolled my thumb over her clit. Causing pleasure to surge through her body just for me to pull off. Leaving her feeling nothing but too much all at the same time.
Y/N whimpered again “n-no please” shaking my head I rubbed her thighs “no baby, position two”. Sitting up she turned on her tummy. Scooting her hips to the end of the bed and she bent herself over. Y/N’s arms still above her head as I rubbed her ass “mmmm daddy missed making this perfect little ass red, it looks so pretty tinted in that crimson red color”. Just as I finished my sentence I landed a harsh smack to her ass, the sound of skin on skin contact ringing throughout the room along with a loud moan. Smiling I rubbed the outline of my handprint on her ass. Soothing the stinging sensation “you’re getting six baby. Count each and every one like a good girl for me will you?” Y/N nodded “y-yes daddy”. Taking my hand I spanked her again, harder this time. I a little moan fell from her lips “o-one daddy thank you”. I smiled, pleased that she remembered how to count her spanks, my hand switching over to her other cheek, landing an equally harsh smack to her ass. A small whimper fell from her lips. There was no denying it stung. The red color showing more and more on her tender ass. By the time she had finished her spanks she was close to crying. Oh how pretty she looked when she cried.
Rubbing her ass gently I climbed beside her, leaning down I whispered in her ear “such a good girl baby, you did such a good job for me” kissing her ear gently then nibbling slightly “you’re mine do you understand?” Y/N squirmed under me “y-yes daddy I understand”. I laughed a little “oh baby I don’t think you do, but you will”. Y/N watched me with a little confusion. Standing up I watched her “back to position four darling”. Tilting her head in confusion she began to open her mouth to ask a question, something she knew I was not very fond of her doing. I spanked her ass again “that wasnt a suggestion, you do as you’re told when you’re told to do it, is that understood slut?” A yelp sounded throughout the room as her legs kicked a little “y-yes daddy!” Nodding I lifted her hips “then get too it”. She quickly began to scramble into position as I sighed while looking for the toy I wanted “just as I finally think you’re starting to learn to follow directions, you have to be a little brat and fuck it up hm? Why can’t you just follow daddy’s orders?”. Y/N knew that was a rhetorical question. Her arms rested above her head again. I grabbed the breeding strap we had. Y/N always went feral when I pulled out this strap, and to be honest I did too. Worry flooded her eyes a little and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion “what’s wrong baby?” A whimper fell from her lips “I-Its gonna be too big…I-I haven’t been stretching myself”
A low moan fell from my mouth. I loved fucking Y/N, but fucking her when she was tight was a whole other type of sex. The noises she made. The little screams falling from her lips. Leaning over her I straddled her “it’s okay babygirl, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, daddy will make it fit” hovering above her I held her wrists down with my hand. looking in her eyes as I teased the tip of the strap against her entrance then slowly eased the faux cock in her tight cunt. Y/N whimpered and gasped a small moan mixed with pain and pleasure fell from her lips as I coaxed “oh baby I know, I know love. You’re just so fucking tight for me hm? You look so god damn pretty like this baby”
I watched as her cunt took in my strap, leaning down to her neck I sunk my teeth into her soft skin. My canines bruising her sensitive area. The pain of my bite distracting her from my strap stuffing her tight cunt. As the pain turned into pleasure she began to moan “f-fucking hell daddy more please” groaning I moved my hands to her hips, pinning her into the mattress “you sound so fucking pathetic when you beg baby” her moans grew louder as I fucked into her, pulling her hips into me and making sure I bottomed out with each thrust. I groaned “such a whore hm? Letting me fuck into you while you moan and beg for more. Nothings ever enough for you. My little desperate cock slut” bucking her hips up she moaned “i-it feels so fucking good daddy”. Laughing I watched her, pushing my thumbs into her hips enough to bruise “you’re mine do you understand me? That bitch could never fuck you the way I do” arching her back she screamed a little “I-I’m yours daddy, p-please let me cum. I-I’m gonna cum” shaking my head I tutted “not yet baby” Y/N whimpered as I lifted her legs over my shoulders. Hitting an entirely new angle in her cunt. Her screams and moans rung through the room as I continued to brush her cervix with the strap around my hips. The strap rubbing against my clit allowing me to chase my orgasm as well.
Just before I came I groaned “go on baby. Cum” placing my hand on her lower stomach I came, allowing the strap to paint her walls with the fake cum “thats it baby, fuck such a good girl. Taking my cum like the cock drunk slut you are” cries and pleas fell from her lips as she squirmed under me, her legs shaking from her orgasm “d-daddy please, s-slow down, t-too much” chuckling I mocked “you wanted to cum didn’t you baby? Don’t act like an ungrateful little brat now, that would hurt daddy’s feelings” her eyes rolled back again as I fucked her through her orgasm. Working on trying to pull another out of her fucked out body. My hand made its way down to her sensitive clit as I rolled my thumb over the bud. Gripping at the tie around her hands she whimpered “d-daddy I’m gonna cum again” chuckling I rubbed faster, continuing to fuck into her “good, I want you too”. More mumbled incoherent pleas fell from her lips while I pulled her hips into me. It wasn’t long before she was clenching around my strap again. Those desperate big eyes watching me, pleading for me to let her cum. Tutting I shook my head “you know better, open your fucking mouth and ask me or you’re not cumming at all”. Y/N kicked her legs a little in protest, throwing a small tantrum as if she was a child. I quickly pulled out and landed a harsh smack to her cunt, growling as I looked down at her “don’t you ever dare do that again. You use your words, I haven’t fucked you that stupid yet”. She yelped once my hand made contact with her cunt. She was so distracted by the slap that she almost didn’t recognize she was no longer full of my strap. It was hard to keep my eyes trained on her and not watch the cum seeping from her cunt. Taking my fingers I leaned over her. My lips hovering close to hers, distracting her from realizing two of my fingers were trailing down to her cunt. As I spoke I fucked the fake cum back into her “use your words, do you understand babygirl?”. Y/N moaned and nodded “y-yes daddy I understand”
I kissed her then nodded, lining my strap back up with her cunt before fucking right back into her, I groaned as she easily took my thick strap “fuck, that’s better, all stretched out for me”. It wasn’t long before she was close to cumming again. I smiled at her as she begged and I rubbed her hip “such a good girl, look at you using your manners. Cum for me” gripping the sheets she came, screaming a little as I filled her yet again “f-fuck daddy t-thank you!”. Chuckling I fucked her though it, her body getting looser from losing control of it. Fear flooded her eyes as I continued to fuck her “n-no daddy no more please, I can’t” sitting forward I leaned over her. Burying the cock further into her cunt “color darling” squirming she watched me “green daddy…”. Tutting I watched her, grabbing her jaw “then baby, if it is green, why the fuck are you telling me it’s too much?”. Y/N whimpered “b-because it’s sensitive daddy” I shook my head, tightening my grip around her jaw “you know I love when you’re sensitive baby, it makes you cry such pretty tears for daddy”. Blushing she watched me as I rubbed my thumb over her lip “you’ll take one more like a good girl for me. And you’ll say thank you after. Isnt that right?”. Y/N watched me and nodded, starting to fall into sub space. Placing my hands on her wrists I began to fuck into her again. Holding her down.
Y/N did her best to squirm under me. Her tears were steadily flowing at this point from the sheer overstimulation. She looked so pretty like this. Her pleading to go faster. Her begging for more. Feeling her tighten she breathed out “p-please daddy can I cum?” I watched her “who owns you?”. Y/N whimpered “y-you do daddy I’m sorry”. Holding my jaw I looked at her “say it again” cries fell from her mouth “y-you own me d-daddy please!” Nodding I fucked into her “that’s right, I own you. Not that bitch you had in here earlier, not anyone else. Me. Don’t you ever forget that”. Nodding under me I fucked into her “good girl. Cum.”
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shokopan · 1 year
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WE DON’T NEED THINGS LIKE MEMORIES  .  MIYA ATSUMU
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PAIRING: atsumu x gn!reader
GENRE: fluff/comfort and the tiniest bit of angst if you really squint
WORD COUNT: 0.7k
CONTENT WARNINGS: cursing
AYA’S NOTES: i was sifting through my old folder of haikyuu fics i wrote last yr && remembered how much i loved this fic when i found it :DDD
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“what’s wrong with saying that i'd date you if we'd met in high school?” you inquire, clutching your legs tight to your chest as you rock towards atsumu slightly, deliberately falling into your boyfriend's chest as he swiftly snakes an arm around your waist to steady you.
“nothing babe, i swear,” he instantly replies, untangling your fingers from each other to replace one with his free hand, “you just didn’t know me then! i wasn’t too great of a guy in high school if i’m being honest. you probably would've ended up crushing on samu or aran kun, maybe even kita san. he's always been pretty good looking and had tons of girls admiring him,”
“and remember when we first met in uni?” atsumu continues, eyes lowering down when he senses a newfound warmth as you envelop both of your hands around his.
“when i told you off for picking a fight with sakusa san?” you answer, recalling the boiling outrage you felt towards him years prior, "and proceeded to call you an irritating prick?"
“and i fell madly in love with you? yup,” atsumu grins cheekily before faltering by the slightest, "i was basically like that in high school, but way worse,”
“i mean i’m not as bad now, i hope. but yeah babe, i don’t think you’d date me if you knew how i acted then,” atsumu shrugs with , “and i wouldn’t blame you, y'know? dating an asshole sounds rough,”
“tell me about it, i’m dating one myself,” you giggle, bumping your shoulder with his as atsumu sulks, “kidding kidding! but what changed? you’re so sweet to me now tsumu, i can’t imagine you being any bit worse than that day we met,”
“fallin’ in love with you, that’s what changed me,” atsumu responds earnestly, shifting around and wriggling his hands from yours to cups the softness of your cheeks.
“tsumu! don’t say stuff like that if you don’t-“ you protest, moving your face down to bury it in atsumu’s large palms in embarrassment.
“i’m serious! honest!” atsumu protests, sliding his palms down to your jawline and lifting your face to level with his eyes, “you make me a better man babe, my parents, and even samu have said that. but you make me always want to be better because you deserve the best and i love you,”
warmth creeps up your cheeks as a faint soreness materializes, bringing attention to just how wide you’re grinning now, “i love you too tsumu,”
“you better love me! this conversation is making me fucking sad, thinking about how shitty i was. i better draft some emails or something to my old coaches and team for being such a pain to deal with,” atsumu chuckles, brushing the locks away from your face as he admires you for a brief moment, in awe of just how perfect you are when smiling.
“you’re absolutely perfect now,” you beam, taking your turn to cocoon your hands around atsumu’s jawline, “so so perfect,”
“damn right i am,” atsumu puffs his chest out, his signature childish yet endearing pride returning. his cheeks are dusted rose, the corners of his eyes crinkling happily, “i’m working hard babe, gonna be the absolute best boyfriend for you to make up for shitty high school tsumu,”
“good to know,” you giggle, “but you’re already the best boyfriend tsumu, it doesn’t matter how you were in high school. you’ve grown and matured since then, and there’s no need to make up for the past. it’s like your old school's motto, right? we don’t need things like memories. we don’t need to dwell on the people we were in the past. i love you now, and isn’t that what matters?”
“you’re too good to me babe,” atsumu groans playfully, hugging your waist as he buries his face into your shoulder with mild chagrin, taking in your sincerity as his blush grows fiercer by the moment, “i love you so much,”
“i love you too tsum,” a soft smile replaces the cheesy grin as you dip your head down the place butterfly kisses on the exposed part of atsumu’s jaw, “and i’m glad we met. really glad,”
you feel atsumu smile into your shoulder as he lifts his head up, a dorky grin plastered on his face as he kisses you, pulling away momentarily after as he whispers, “me too, i’m grateful we met that day,”
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copperbadge · 6 months
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What do you mean by digital cleaning?
It's something I've been working on more this year because I had a bit more travel than usual so couldn't do actual home cleaning, but I always take a couple of days in the Month Of Cleaning where I'm focused on my digital life. It's good to make your physical home a comfortable place for yourself, but it's also good to recognize that we have "digital" homes that need attention. And often this is at least less physically demanding, so it's good to keep it in your back pocket for days when you're mentally okay but physically too tired or sore to do more of that kind of work.
In the shortest possible terms, digital cleaning is just making sure that your phone, computer, socials, and other digital "presences" are organized in a way that you find helpful, and that you take a moment to either answer those messages you've been putting off or give yourself amnesty on doing so.
This tends to make a lot of people extremely anxious in a way ordinary physical space cleaning doesn't, so I'm going to put the rest of it behind a cut...
So when I say digital cleaning, I refer to stuff like going through my likes on Tumblr and clearing them out, going through my drafts and turning them into queued posts, answering my asks. I spend time in my email inboxes, either responding to messages or removing them. I am not an "inbox zero" kind of guy, but I like to keep the read-but-not-answered messages to a minimum, and towards the end of the year that usually means a clear-out and amnesty. I clean my Google Drive -- delete old files I uploaded for others, move documents I'm no longer using into an archive, move documents I want to work on into a central work folder. I go through my catch-all folder on my hard drive and organize it; I sort through the year's photos and organize those, partly to archive them and partly because I make a scrapbook from them each year. I don't usually have a ton of tabs open but often have more than I'd like, so I go through them all and either read, bookmark, or get rid of them.
I look in my phone's file tree to make sure I delete files I don't need (mostly menu downloads, Restaurants Stop Making Your Menus PDFs Challenge 2K24) and I sometimes go through each app on my phone, make sure I still use it, and make sure it's set how I want it. If this sounds like a nightmare, bear in mind that I very rarely put apps on my phone to start with -- I think my mother has more apps open at any given time than I have apps on my phone ever.
Everywhere I clean, I look for files named things like "notes" or "deal with" or "random" and move them all into one place so that whatever is in them, I can sort through it and make sure it goes somewhere permanent. Logins go in the login/password spreadsheet I keep, addresses go into my contacts, story notes go into a "fiction scraps" file, random thoughts either get moved into a journal file or put into drafts to become Tumblr posts, etc.
If this sounds like I might have some kind of compulsion disorder, I get that; when I explain my digital hygiene systems a lot of people look at me like I'm spouting a mad but harmless conspiracy theory. But it's something I used to have to do periodically even before I created National Clean Your Home Month, because otherwise I could never find anything, and everything was just...harder. As I once told a boss who admired my organizational skills, "It was this or endless chaos."
Putting addresses into my contacts list means I always know that the addresses I have for my friends are up to date. Putting logins into a spreadsheet means that five minutes spent now will not result in five weeks of procrastination later because I can't find the login and can't do anything else until I do that. Going through my email and archiving old conversations means not only can I find them easily when needed, I don't have to look at them the rest of the time. Sometimes I even go through my various wish lists and remove old/purchased items, or clear out all my "save for later" carts.
There's no doubt this is stressful, but like every part of NaClYoHo, it's broken down into smaller tasks; I don't have to look at my computer and organize everything on it all in one day. I can answer a few asks, then sort photos (something I find very soothing up until the moment I Don't), then read and delete some emails, then I'm done for the day. I can spread "answer or file all your work emails" out over a couple of days. I can maybe empty out my Likes but just turn the ones I actually want to reblog into drafts for now and deal with them later in the "drafts" phase of cleaning. And if I don't manage to empty out my inboxes, at least they're emptier than they were.
I'm struggling this morning with having put a bunch of physical cleaning on the to-do list but not feeling physically up for it, so I did what I felt capable of doing (measuring cabinets for new shelf liners mainly) and later today I might sit down and start building this year's photobook. Or not -- I have to code Radio Free Monday, sort out a prescription and possibly go pick it up, plus a very full day of work and a couple of afternoon appointments I can't shirk, so today may simply be a "get through the day" kind of day. That's okay too; some days the spirit is willing but the schedule is full.
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unofficial-underfell · 3 months
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Hey guys, I've been thinking about making this post for a long time and I think its finally time I do so. After realizing that some of my last work was done over a year ago, I don't think I can really ignore it anymore. While I haven't quite thrown in the towel on this quite yet, it's pretty evident to me and I'm sure to everyone who still follows this blog that my fervor for the project has drastically decreased. And has been kind of dead for a while. The comic has not been a priority to me, or posting online much at all actually. I did some soul searching and found that I'd started relying on outside approval for my art instead of doing art for the sake of wanting to tell a story and express myself throughout my work. I have limited energy and depression and sometimes it feels like i get such little progress done even though it takes all of my energy. While I'm trying to go to the gym more and build better habits my energy levels and mood still have a lot to be desired, and I'd rather use the limited energy I have to work on something I'm more passionate about.
I've been trying to grow my skills and absorb more stories and I've moved around a lot and started to listen to what I really felt, and I found that a lot of the art I want to focus on deals with heavier and more mature topics. I do love this story, and all of the characters and I feel like I could make a really clever subversion of what is expected from an Underfell comic. But I feel like in these uncertain times with the world and with all of the stuff going on right now, I'd like to use my energy to work on stories that hit closer to the things that I feel are important. So that's why I've not been posting much.
I'm working on a book, and I've actually got quite a lot of progress done on it, but because of all the horror stories online about people stealing author's original works, I'm kind of holding off on publishing any chapters before I can copyright the first draft of the novel. So my online activity will still be pretty scarce for a bit, though I'll still post occasionally on my @cosmicpixel01 account. I'll try better to not be so radio silent though lol. Even if that means I'll post something boring about my dog or books I'm reading just so everyone knows I'm still alive.
I don't want to call it quits on the story. But I also feel like you guys have been kept waiting to see what happens for a really long time, and that makes me feel so guilty. I will try to finish up the pages I have in the works, and I'm probably going to switch to a different format that is some drawings, some writing to finish the story. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to finish it the way I intended for you guys, even with all of the support and kind words and even the fanart that I've kept in a folder on my desktop. I am letting a lot of you down, but I feel like the radio silence is probably more irresponsible than just going out and saying something. And I'm sorry I've kept you all waiting for a not-so-happy update on the blog.
I hope that some of you will continue to follow me for some of my other exploits and see whatever other things I have going on, but I understand that you all followed me for Undertale so I don't want you to feel any sort of guilt if you decide not to. I'm just happy you all supported me for so long.
I'll try to work on this blog again soon, and if anyone has any questions, my asks are open, though I'll probably keep the asks private. Until then I hope everyone stays safe out there. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
-Avery
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nishisun · 1 year
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DOCTOR’S PET — MATSUKAWA ISSEI.
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paring: optometrist!issei x reader
summery: you should’ve known something was up when you stumbled across that sketchy advertisement... dr. matsukawa is a fucking nut job.
warnings: nsfw, dub-con, fingering, vaginal penetration, manipulation, uses of vibrator, he’s like in his 40’s, reader is in her 20s. PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE BELOW.
a/n: suprise! i am not back, but i realized that i had 14 drafts so i am queuing them because i will soon deactivating this blog, but i’m not sure yet. i’m not sure if this work is finished, so i apologize for any cliff hangers my works have! this was originally written back in late 2020, so excuse the writing if it’s horrible. thank you for the support i received in this blog! i do plan on creating a new blog so this work may be transported to that one if it seems familiar, but i will also make note of that to avoid confusion.
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It should not have gotten to this.
Seriously. You’d think that as medical school enrollments expanded the system would do the best they could and resolve the physician shortage by adding more residency slots in the Miyagi Prefecture. That wasn’t the case at all.
In fact, all the residencies and medical internships you’ve applied for haven’t gotten back to you. It’s been over a month now, and the only emails you’ve received from them are ‘I’m sorry to inform you’ letters and ‘waitlisted’. Not even one acceptance letter. It sucked.
Just when you lost hope, you stumbled across an article for one that was unrealistically near you.
‘Medical Internships Available for Upcoming Optometrist! Miyagi’s Hospital Center: Medical Training Program ran by Dr. Matsukawa Issei, MD. Location: Dr. Matsukawa’s Office.’
It sounded way too good to be true... and it was only a 15-minute drive from your place..? Out of mere curiosity, you clicked on the advertisement without a second thought and ah — there it was; a catch.
Only one person could be accepted.
Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, so you filled the application anyways and hoped for the best.
And for some odd reason, you were actually selected.
You don’t know how, but you actually got chosen. Now here you are, in front of his office in your car. You take one last anxious look in your rear-view mirror, reassuring yourself that you looked somewhat presentable before gathering your belongings and heading to the entrance.
“Here goes nothing.”
Once you push past the doors, you couldn’t help but notice how empty the lobby was. There weren’t any patients waiting, and the T.V used for entertainment purposes was off. Maybe the office was closed? You brush these thoughts off before turning your head to be greeted by a lady. She seemed young, about the same age as you or a little bit older.
“Hello?” she calls, she doesn’t bother looking up at you as she continues to type away on the computer. You turn your head around swiftly to face her, offering an awkward smile.
“Oh! Uh, Hi! I came for Dr. Matsukawa’s internship program?” The woman makes a face that you can’t read — confusion, you might say? Either way, she does an excellent job concealing it as she rolls a pen and a few papers your way.
“Fill these forms out for me and I’ll tell Dr. Matsukawa that you’re ready for him.” she explains, giving you a tight lipped smile.
You take the papers and pen, taking a seat on one of the many comfortable chairs in the room. You finished filling out the form rather quickly, getting up to return the papers back to the front desk, until you suddenly hear bickering. It sounds like the lady that was at the front desk not too long ago and oh, a male voice too. Although you shouldn’t, you let your curiosity get the best of you.
“Hey, is everything okay here — oh.”
It’s the doctor himself. He raises an eyebrow at you, his attention that was once on the lady was now at you, then looking down at the folders he was currently holding, rummaging through them. He looks back at you, using his pointer finger to gently lift up his glasses. 
“You must be L/N?” he clears his voice, as if he wasn’t just arguing with the lady next to him seconds ago, waiting for you to reply.
Dr. Matsukawa is extremely attractive.
The hell? Since when did you have a thing for older men? Is that wrong to say? He looks like a very busy man, even though there were no patients currently in the office. There’s a huge height difference between him and the lady and the way he has to look down at you leaves you with no choice but to close bite on your bottom lip.
Your eyes wander down to his lower body, meeting the dress shoes he was currently wearing, and from there, your eyes take in the tight black pants and the way his fitted navy blue shirt outlined his abs slightly, his white lab coat topping the outfit.
“Ms. L/N?” The man calls out again, his fingers gripping the stacks of files in his hand a bit tighter as he gave you a concerned look. Your head jerks up immediately to face Dr. Matsukawa, your stomach doing flips when you make eye contact with him. “Ms. L/N Y/N is your name. Am I correct?”
You gulp, eagerly nodding your head. “Uh, Yeah — Yes. Yes, that’s my name.” You stammered. You break eye contact with the doctor, eyes drifting to the lady standing next to him.
Dr. Matsukawa flashes you a bright smile before giving you a firm nod, lifting his arm to direct you to another room. “You can follow me — Is everything alright, miss?”
“Y-Yes!” You mindlessly shake your head, struggling to move your feet from where they’re planting. You’ve suddenly realized how unprofessional you’ve been acting and it’s because of the extremely hot doctor in front of you.
“Please, take a seat.”
He’s taken you to a.. patients room..? You were expecting an office. You’re assuming this is where he’ll be discussing the activities you’ll be doing today. You take a seat in the medical recliner, examining the room as he brings out your information in a folder. “Your files show that you’re a really good student, who has a great amount of experience on leadership skills and opportunities,” he affirmed. He looks up at you, shifting in his seat as he continues to look over your papers.
“Uh, Yes, that’s true. I can name some—“
“Let’s get straight to the objective for today, shall we?” The way he suddenly interrupted you by slamming the folder together causes you to flinch, there’s a sudden mischief in his eyes that cause your throat to dry up, and now he’s staring at you. Like boring his eyes on you waiting for a response. You swallow hardly before nodding, causing him to grin. “I’ve already reviewed everything I need to know about you. I don’t want to waste another minute.”
He’s nice. Weird, but nice. Which doesn’t help because his odd (yes, odd) behavior was turning you to someone who you weren’t, which was shy. You’d like to say you’re a pretty confident and outgoing person who’s able to maintain eye contact and keep a conversation going with others, but for some reason, this man in front of you was different.
“I’m going to be running some test. I hope that’s fine with you?” He announced, leaning foward while adjusting the nobs on the lamp. You should be asking questions, you should, because you didn’t know this interview would require “tests”. You don’t even care to at this point, you’re just grateful you got selected, so you nod your head. “Perfect. I’ll start by checking your eyesight.”
“Uh, Dr. Matsukawa, forgive me for overstepping , but what do these test have to do with the internship?” The doctor hums in acknowledgment, leaning down so he can get a good look at your eyes through the lens.
“Can you see the dot?”
You squint your eyes so you can see the so called ‘dot’ he’s talking about more clearly “Yes, I can, but—“
“This was mentioned and is definitely part of the internship Ms. L/N. Did you not read the form?” He sighs, writing some notes down in his paper and you can’t even feel guilty because you’re too distracted at how big his hands are, huge knuckles and veiny. How can someone’s hand be so attractive?
“Well, I did but I just didn’t really see where it said that on the form, so I didn’t think that you’d be running some ‘tests’.” You quote his words from earlier, nervously chuckling. He sighs again.
“I’m going to test your eye pressure.” He stands up, holding an object similar to a pointer. He moves towards you, pointing to the red dot on the wall across the room.
“Keep your eyes focused on the dot and try not to blink. This won’t hurt, but it may feel uncomfortable.” You nod once again, resting your hands on your lap as Dr. Matsukawa squats in front of you so he’s eye-level with you. He gently places his hand in your knee, causing you to flinch.
Seriously, get your shit together.
“Are you alright? He basically snickered, you’re pretty sure he can feel the warmth radiating at your core.
You nod your head, eyes locking into the dot, cheeks heating up and turning into a bright pink shade. Dr. Matsukawa positions the equipment right in front of your eye before pressing a button that activated the device to blow a puff of air into your eye, causing you to blink.
“We’ll try again.” He maintains eye contact, refocusing the device on the center of your eye as his hand that was on your thigh slight reaches higher, going under your pencil skirt causing you to flinch again.
“I’m sorry,” you breathe, letting out an extremely nervous sigh.
“I’m going to hold your head so you don’t pull away. Is that alright with you?” He explains, giving you so soft smile.
You nod your head rather keenly. Your heart flutters at the contact, the grip on the back of your neck not too tight but strong enough to prevent your head from moving.
He starts the device again, watching you fight the urge to blink. He smiles when you don’t blink, removing his hand from the back of your neck.
“Good girl. You just need someone to keep you in place, yeah?” his other hand rubs your thigh and you couldn’t help the whimper slips out your mouth at the nickname.
Dear God help you. It’s like this man knows that you find him attractive.
“Yeah..” you answer, he stands up with the equipment, writing some notes down on his note book before closing it.
“We have one more test and that’ll be all for today.” He leaves the room for a short period of time and comes back with the other lady from before, she’s carrying a box and places it right next to you.
Dr. Matsukawa follows behind the lady, taking a seat across from you. Why the hell did they look like they were about to dissect your body?
“Do you know what’s inside that box?” he beamed, you turned your head to look at the box the lady had placed next to you, tilting your head and slightly squinting your eyes so you could get a better look at the text.
‘Magic Wand — Vibrator Sex Toy.’
What. The. Fuck.
Dr. Matsukawa grins when he watches the harsh breath you take, the lady next to him staring to the side with a bored look.
“W...What’s that for?” You eyes remain staring at the box.
He grins, “You do know what this is used for, right Ms. L/N?” You stare back up at him, swallowing hard.
“Is... Is this why you put these restraints on me?” Your eyes are filled with pure terror, your breathing becoming uneven when Dr. Matsukawa chuckles darkly. What was going on in your head when you willingly let him tie your hands up?
“No need to fret,” He attempts to touch you and you only flinch in response. “What, you can’t handle getting touched by a vibrator?”
You cringe at his word choice, shaking your head when he takes a closer step at you.
“Also,” He’s hot in your face, your breath hitches when you remember that you two aren’t the only ones in the room. You look over to the lady with a pleading look, but she only looks away. “I’ve noticed the way you’ve been looking at my most naughtiest places, Ms. L/N.”
“No... No! It’s not like that I swear!—“
He swiftly faces away from you and you bite your bottom lip. “But of course, if you’re not comfortable with this, I won’t force you. I’m not into stuff like that anyways.”
It’s only then you finally remember to breathe, you shift uncomfortably when he places a hand in your thigh.
“But you’re a good girl, right? You know how to follow directions.” It takes a while to register his words, you’re too busy in your own world, wondering how the hell you got yourself in this position. You don’t even notice his hand was cupping your cheek.
“You see,” he starts, “I don’t want to hurt you.. I just want to study you. That’s all.” He assured with that charming smile that could get you to obey his every order.
So you nod.
“Perfect!” he gleams, “Nina, would you mind stepping to the side for me?”
She follows his request, clipboard in her hand. You give her an unsure look and she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else but here. You don’t blame her.
“Nina over here took her test 3 years ago,” He announces, “Took it like a pro, isn’t that right, Nina?”
She glared at Dr. Matsukawa, before nodding, “Yeah.”
“She’s a very hard working doctor and very successful, too. You should see her when the office is open! Handles the patients so well.”
He continues to ramble and proceeds to remove the object from out of the box, placing a battery and flicking the switch on.
“Wait!” you yelp, he switches off the vibrator and gives you a confused look. “What— what does this have to do with the internship? And what were the eye test for?”
“I’m going to review your vision before and after you achieve an orgasm.” he deadpans.
Your head cocks to the side, in fact, you feel light headed and you wonder how he said something like that so casually.
“You see, I’ve noticed that you’ve been holding your breath quite a lot every since you’ve gotten here, and I can’t help but wonder if you’ll do the same while your vagina is being stimulated.” you blankly stare, waiting for him to continue. “If this is true, and you do hold your breath while you orgasm, you could temporarily lose eye sight, or receive blurred vision due to the pressure that would be building up in your eyes.”
Help. Someone help. This man has lost his fucking mind. And the lady, Nina, why the hell is she not saying anything? Did she seriously go through this too?
Your jaw gapes as well as your eyes, staring at Dr. Matsukawa with a frightened look. Maybe you shouldn’t have applied for this internship. And then the dam finally breaks.
Honestly, you’re surprised you didn’t start crying when he restrained you. You’re absolutely too frightened to even fight back at this point, and even though he said you didn’t have to, you’re too afraid to speak at the moment. If you knew you’d meet crazy doctors like this, you would’ve quit med school.
“This causes your blood vessels in your eye to burst and trigger a small hemorrhage and temporary vision loss.” You let out a sob, “But don’t worry, it’s temporary.”
Like that was supposed to help.
He gently pats your head before placing a strand of hair behind your ear. “It’s okay if you don’t want to do it, baby.”
You face the floor as he rubs his thumb softly over your cheek. You find comfort as he cups your cheek, it’s almost as if it’s only the two of you there.
“I’m sorry if I frightened you, dear. I’m just so very excited because I’ve never met someone so... Inspiring,” You lift your head up to face him, and he lets out a soft chuckle. “With such leadership skills you have, I’m truly greatful you accepted this internship. I honestly find a strong interest in you, too.” His hand travels down your sides, pushing you closer to him.
“Really?” it’s barely above a whisper, breath hitching when his lips softly brush against yours. He nods against your lips, just about to bring them in before he hears a soft ‘tch’ coming from Nina.
“Ah, no need to be jealous, Nina. You’re still in my top 3.” He pulls away from you to grin at Nina, who doesn’t respond. She’s awfully quiet. You don’t know why, but those words sent a pang to your heart. Top 3? Does he have affairs with all his co-workers? Just how many girls has he done this to?
He turns back to gave you once again, delicately trailing his fingers on your sides. “You think you can be a good girl for me?”
You bite your lip, looking up at him and it’s the way he’s staring at you with such adoration — like he’s the only person you can count on.. You just want to make him proud. So you nod.
“Yes.”
You can see the way his eyes light up, and you can’t help he smile to yourself. It finally feels like you’re being useful for once.
“If you ever need me to stop, call out ‘strawberries’”
“Okay.”
Dr. Matsukawa grabs the small vibrator once again, turning it on to the lowest setting, testing the power of it in his finger before lifting your skirt up and placing it against your panties.
“Hah!” you gasp out, your hands pull hard against the restraint, causing Dr. Matsukawa to grin.
“Subject 5 has been restricted for a approximately 10 minutes now. An increased blood flow towards her genital has been detected after realizing what was about to happen to her.” Nina speaks into the recorder.
Subject 5, really?
He moves the wand from your clit, down to your folds, as he watched you writhe underneath the restraints.
“Poor baby,” he pretends to pout, “I don’t think you’ll be able to fully enjoy yourself being l restrained like this. You need to comforting, isn’t that right?”
“Mmm! Mhm.”
He chuckled to himself, before helping you remove all of your clothing, discarding your panties as well as your bra. Your nipples began to harden as the cool air got in contact with them. As he was pulling down your panties, he kneeled down and inspected the slick covering your pussy.
“Subject 5 has increased vaginal discharge, signifying that her body is preparing itself for sexual intercourse.” Dr. Matsukawa calls out before licking a long stripe on your pussy. Your hips buck, causing Dr. Matsukawa to chuckle as he rubbed the side of your thigh.
You weren’t one to get embarrassed easily, but it’s not everyday a hot doctor almost 2x your age sees you naked.
Your head bolts up when you realize Dr. Matsukawa was doing the same, removing his lab coat as well as his right-fitted navy blue shirt, to reveal nibs insanely fit body.
“You’re drooling, Ms. L/N.”
576 notes · View notes
zepskies · 10 months
Note
Okay, I loved the reader smacking Ben's ass, so can we do an uno reverse of the situation, but lmao it would probably not end well because knowing Ben it probably would've been done during a terribly inappropriate time like a meeting or something, also I know that you didn't explicitly say it was BMD ben and reader but I did read it as such, lmao - salvadoreña anon (lmao it feels a little weird to call myself that because Im also desi lol)
Hello my Latina Lovely! 😘 (Wow! Love that you're also Desi. ❤️)
Aw, hell, you done uno-reversed me…
See this imagine for context: Repaying Soldier Boy for a job well done.
(And yes, I had Break Me Down-verse SB x Reader in my head writing that one as well lol. They're ingrained in me. 😂)
Word Count: 350
Imagine: Ben gets a little payback.  
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Your heels clacked on the tile floor brusquely as you made your way back to your office, over in Surveillance. You carried a stack of paperwork that had to be sorted through—and on Grace Mallory’s desk by end of day today.
Your hair was falling out of its loosening bun, and you tried in vain to blow a piece of it out of your face. The elevator on the opposite end of the hall dinged. The doors opened, and out came your boyfriend, strutting into the hall in his supe suit.
You smiled. “Wow, that was quick. You caught Metallo?”
“Being booked with bendy straws for arms as we speak,” Ben replied with a cocky smile. He headed toward you down the hall. “Gonna grab a bite to eat. Care to join?”
You raised a brow at bendy straws for arms. He really needed to work on how badly he roughed up these supes when bringing them into custody.
“Can’t right now,” you said, gesturing with your eyes to your workload. “But I’ll let you know when I’m ready to head home, if you want to wait for me.”
While you spoke, Ben was busy taking in your white blouse, the dark red lipstick, the pencil skirt, the sexy little heels. It was straight out of one of his fantasies…
Maybe you’d be down for a round of sexcretary after work. His lips curved at the thought.
But then, he remembered how you’d got him to accidentally shatter a nice crystal wine glass the other night, and it got him contemplating some retribution.
“All right. See you then, baby doll,” he said mildly.
When he finally reached you, he gave you a nice smack on the ass as he passed by.
You jolted with a wide-eyed yelp. Ben smirked at the sound.
He’d gotten you with a little more force than he thought though, as it made you lose your grip on your files. They flew from your hands and scattered onto the floor.
You twisted back to meet him with a glare. Ben’s hand clenched and curled back…
Then he gave you a sly grin.
“Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it?”  
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AN: So I don't typically post two new fics within the same day (sorry for the spam), but this one was short and essentially a sequel to the other imagine lol. (And my weird brain doesn't like a packed drafts folder. 😉)
I have at least one more SB imagine coming this week. I got a ton of requests this weekend, so thank you all! I really am so flattered. 🥰🥰
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356 notes · View notes
honeyatsu · 4 months
Text
Loner 4 (Junpei x Reader)
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PREV | Masterlist
TW: mention of suicide
a/n:
Hiiii ~ T_T it's been so long since i've written lol! I am sorry if its not good....im kinda rusty! I found this draft after trying to fix my laptop and going thru my things....I figured why not finish it!!! :D I loved working on this fic even tho the only thing done is the outline/draft...i missed writing so im just getting back into a hobby I once loved again ((: I am sooo sorry if my writing style is no longer enjoyable lol but only way to get better after a too long break is to keep writing :D !!!
You decide to take matters into your own hands when Junpei doesn’t return to school the next two weeks – literally.
If the empty desk next to you and continuous lonely lunches weren’t offensive enough, he had the audacity to not even open your texts anymore. Leaving your texts on delivered as opposed to the checked read notification you would often see desperately checking your phone at the end of the day, along with sending your calls straight to voicemail. Sometimes you think you would feel less offended if he just blocked you.
So, you generously speak to your school advisor, showing concern in your friends’ absence and inevitable fate of falling behind – you offer to take his missing work to him and help him catch up, not a complete lie. You weren’t one to be ghosted— ever. A shot to your ego mixed with a concern of your best friend, you decided if he was going to ignore you, you would just go to him. Even if it meant getting his address through the school, no matter how creepy it sounded, whatever context you would put it in.
“Are you taking those to Junpei?” you turn to see your underclassman and teammate, Ino, staring at you with her large doe hazel-eyes, her naturally flushed cheeks spreading from one corner of her face to another.
Cute, Ino was cute. You offer her a simple nod, the white pages your fingers were buried under slightly slipping from your grip, Ino catching it, leaning it towards you again before they could fall. “Do you want me to come and help?” Her tone was sincere and kind, you could say her voice was almost as angelic as her face.
Your stomach churned, body becoming stiff as she stood in front of you, batting her doe-eyes at you with a smile. She annoyed you.
“It’s fine. Gotta go.” You mutter, gripping onto the folders and sheets tightly, speeding your way past her.
It’s lively here, the area you need to walk through in order to get to his home. There are students, chatting, taking up the streets and shops as they lounge around after school. When you walked passed Tatsu Ramen, you tried to not let the bitterness linger around, seeing familiar (yet not so friendly) faces eating there. You flick your tongue against your teeth, wondering if Junpei decided to finally stop ignoring you, where would you two go now. You try to avoid them, quickly shuffling past them, using the stack to cover your face.
The walk wasn’t a short one, nor a long one. It was far enough to make your ankles ache, holding onto the heavy workload – you weren’t sure if you felt bad for the missing work he was going to have to do, or the scolding you were mentally rehearsing to give him.
Either way, it was a headache he deserved, you thought.
The lecture that wasn’t ready was going to have to come sooner rather than later, as you spot him walking toward his home, his clothes baggy and even from the distance you were at, he was more relaxed than you’ve seen him ever be at school. You were at the top of a small street-hill that came before his house, the slope only aiding your speed as you ran towards him, shouting his name, gripping the folder and paperwork that were fighting to slip through your hands.
The closer you get to him, the sloppier your moves are, your nerves reaching all the way to the tip of your toes, the crack on the street not helping as you trip over it. Junpei’s arms reaches out, stopping you from falling into his chest with both hands placed on your shoulder. You stare him in the eye, chest heaving and breath loud and messy, you don’t care that you’re practically blowing your breath into his face. Seeing him felt like seeing a ghost — but seeing his wide eyes turn into a small scowl felt like seeing a ghost who just punched you in the chest.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he observed the piles of work placed on your hand. He scoffs at the sight.
“You’re not in the right to ask questions! Do you even know how a phone works?” you huff out, trying to catch your breath and put your adrenaline at ease.
A look of shame left as quickly as it came as he let go of you giving you a slight shove, his lips pouting as he faced the opposite direction of your face, “Don’t tell me you’re here because you’re worried about my coursework.”
“Well, for us to graduate together, you kind of need to pass. I just thought I’d do you a favor.” Your lower your arms to remove the work that was covering half of your face, displaying your frown even though he was refusing to look at you. You take a deep breath as you contemplate your next sentence. “Plus, I was wo –”
“Us? There is no us,” You were interrupted anyways.
Your mouth opens but no words come out, Junpei finally turns to you. Looking into your eyes, challenging you, just daring you to say something next. You feel the heat of embarrassment rise to your cheeks – or maybe it’s anger, you weren’t exactly sure how you felt at the moment. At the sight of someone who was supposed to be your best friend staring at you with such disgust, almost as if he regretted getting to know you at all.
“You’re all the same.” He started out. His eyes never left yours. “Did you know we’ve gone to the same school for years? By chance you finally noticed me, and because you were too afraid to sit in the front. You think that makes us friends?” His dark gaze was going right through you, burning. The tension couldn’t be cut with a knife as he tried reading you, scanning you for any reaction.
You give him one, taking a slight step back, mouth thinned. You’re still holding on to the stack of papers, crumpling them between your fingers. He waits for you to reply, but you don’t.
“That’s not what bothers me. Your friends, they’ve been picking on me for years. How are you just now noticing? What – because you think we’re friends you finally think I’m worthy of being saved?” He gives a dry, coarse laugh. “You’re no different from the rest. You think you are, because you became friends with poor Junpei, right? You finally decide not to turn a blind eye, barley. The same way everyone else pretends to not notice, you did too! You let them get away with it. It’s not just me that gets picked on! And unless they’re your friends, unless they’re worthy of kindness, you just let them! Everyone does! Teachers, other students, you!”
You don’t dare to speak; you simply shove the assignments to his arms. You don’t look up, you don’t want him to see your lips quiver at his words – you don’t want him to see you fighting to keep your eyes dry, fighting to tune him out. Your attempts fail you, feeling your own wet lashes against your cheek, a single, suppressed tear managing to escape.
“I never needed you. I never needed your pity, I never needed you to save me!”
Of course, he’s mad at you. You don’t know what you did, but you figure that you abandoning him when there was something clearly wrong the other day had something to do with it. You knew something was wrong, yet you still left. And you feel guilty, so guilty for being such a bad friend, just like he says. You feel guilty, thinking that you could just march to him when you’re the one who is in the wrong. You weren’t a good friend, and Junpei knew his worth. You were convinced you were in the right, that it was okay for you to be mad at your friend for abandoning you, but you abandoned him first. You’re ready to turn your heel, turn back and leave him alone for good, and you almost do.
Almost.
“What’s going on here?” A strong voice asked from behind you. You turned your head to be met with a tall slender woman, short black hair, and holding a cigarette in her left hand.
His tone changes, along with his facial expression. His eyebrow twitches when he realizes who has arrived (at the worst possible time, for him); It did not take you necessarily long to realize who she was, her and Junpei practically sharing the same face. If you weren’t so hurt and angry, you could imagine how humiliated you would feel. Weeks of begging Junpei to let you come over, introduce you to his family — and here you are, face to face with the woman who brought your favorite person into this world (even if he was being an ass right now); snotty nosed, eyes glossy, and an ugly tight facial expression because no, you didn’t want him to see you cry.
“She’s bringing my missing work, just a classmate–”
You cut him off, introducing yourself by giving your name, “I’m his best friend.” you snuck in, bowing to his mother while grabbing a work folder, pointing to it. “I brought his classwork. And being honest, I was concerned. I wanted to see for myself that he was okay.” Considering the fact that he seemed to forget how to use his phone and turned into an asshole, you thought to yourself, but you knew to leave that thought to yourself, not wanting to push any of his mother’s buttons, determined to make a good first impression.
“The ramen girl?”
Your eyebrow twitches, turning to Junpei. It almost shocks you, how after his speech of how cruel he tried to make you out to be, this is what offends you. “Your mother knows me as…. the ramen girl?” Junpei stares at you in disinterest and shrugs.
“It’s not often I get to meet a friend, let alone a best friend.” She grins in amusement, “Do you wanna come in and help him catch up with work?”
“Mom, not necessary.” Junpei mutters quietly.
“It wouldn’t be a problem at all!” You chirped in response, grinning from ear to ear as you follow them into their home, ignoring Junpei’s face twisted in irritation.
Their home is welcoming, fit for a small family of two. His mother (you find out her name is Nagi), goes straight to her fridge, taking out a bottle of beer while settling on her counter.
“I appreciate you doing this for him. I understand school isn’t for everyone and honestly, it isn’t as big as you kids make it seem. “ She takes a sip of her beer before continuing, “but I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate this. Or you. I’m just glad I finally got to meet the girl who’s worked wonders you’re not even aware of.”
The praise makes you flush — your body heating up. You swiftly look towards Junpei’s direction, seeing his face tinted red, from his cheeks to the tip of his ears. He was avoiding his mothers gaze along with yours, looking to the side and pouting, arms crossed. He looked like an angry toddler, and you would laugh, normally — if you didn’t feel he hated you at this moment.
“ — Oh, I’m sorry, am I keeping you guys waiting?” His mother replies with a grin, “You’re free to go on, help your best friend catch up on his work!” She takes both of you, leading your way to his bedroom with her palm on both backs, lightly shoving you through the door.
Junpei is standing beside you, sheepishly, his guilt showering his face as he sees you softly close the door behind you and fist your palms as a way to calm yourself down. You’re nervous, and you can tell he is too, the blush never leaving his face. And as awkward and unpredictable this current situation is (meeting his mom in the middle of a fight and having her throw you into his bedroom, awkward is an understatement), you still know there are things you need to talk about. You slowly take a few steps towards him, each step causing you to take a deep breath before you trap him in a tight hug.
“I should’ve been a better friend.” You mutter into his chest. Still holding onto him, you look up at him and nearly laugh at his surprised expression. “Please don’t think you don’t matter to me. Or that I feel bad for you. I mean – ouch – because of how you judge my character. You are my friend. I care about you, a lot. And I’m sorry for making you feel otherwise.”
The gold locket you usually kept hidden in your shirt was brought out, it felt so delicate in between your fingers, but the feelings and memories with what was inside laid heavy in your heart. You took one last, slow, deep breath before you opened the heart-chapped locket, revealing the photo of your deceased father. “He was bullied at work. My dad. They treated him horribly, told him he wasn’t worthy of being man of the house, or something like that.”
Don’t cry, You try to tell yourself, don’t cry.
“Well, one day it all got to him. And he decided it was easier to leave me and my mom, than to ‘burden us with his pathetic excuse of a husband and father’. At least that’s what he said in the letter. If he asked me, I would’ve said he was great.”
You sigh, closing up the locket and placing it back into your shirt, “I should’ve paid more attention, you’re right. No one wants to believe people are bad, or people with hearts can be capable of being so cruel. I always thought people were just people when my dad died. When I read his note, it was so sad. Life seemed so dimmed in his perspective. I guess I didn’t want to experience my life like that, I became ignorant to those around me, especially my shitty friends. I was around bullies and was too dumb to even see it.”
Your arms quickly found their way around his waist, bringing your head to his chest and looking up at him, the small tears that still haven’t fallen glistening in between your eyelashes. “What I’m trying to say with all of this is, I’m sorry. I understand what they do is fucked up, and I’m sorry for just staying silent. My ignorance isn’t an excuse, it was never okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you. And I’m not enabling those friendships any longer. You’re my friend Junpei, I care about you.”
Junpei wraps his arms around you, pressing his body tightly against yours. He would’ve never guessed you felt as bad as you did — he would have never imagined you having to go through something so tragic, yet remained so strong, so willing, so vulnerable to the world around you.
It’s silent, the forgiveness that’s communicated between the two of you. After the embrace you look up at him, your eyes still glistening but your smile turns into a small curve, your teeth slightly showing before you start giggling, hitting his chest. He follows you after — laughing at how vulnerable and serious you two were with one another, and he’s happy, because this is new. He hasn’t experienced a true friendship, a falling out, or making up after, being vulnerable.
The next few hours are peaceful as you two sit sprawled out on his bed with the textbooks and folders with weeks worth of school work. You promised to help catch him up as long as he promised to stop skipping class and ignoring you, especially during times he needs people most.
Junpei spends five minutes staring at a problem, not quite understanding what he was supposed to do. He calls your name for help, but you don’t respond. “I really need help right now,” he states, bringing his attention to you, lifting his eyes to meet yours; His eyes softened at the view in front of him, the world around you became a blur — you being the focus point, the soft beating his heart slowly becoming rapid, his body becoming flushed seeing you laid across his bed, your mouth agape and slight drool dripping from the side. He stares and thinks to himself, he’s always thought you were pretty, but this would have to be the prettiest he’s seen you.
He slowly lifts himself off the bed, tip-toeing around to make sure he doesn’t make the slightest noise while going to your side, being sure to not wake you from your sleep.
Junpei takes your leg that was hanging from the edge and takes the piles of work spread across his bed and neatly places them onto his desk, sitting beside your sleeping figure and taking his blanket, covering your body. He then lays beside you, on top of the covers so there is a barrier between the two of you. His eyes trace the shape of your body, looking at the little details and appreciating every blemish, every texture, every line on your face. Without even realizing he brought his face closer to yours, in awe at how at peace you look laying beside him after all he’s put you through.
He takes a moment, taking in a deep breath as he decides to swallow his pride, whispering an apology.
And to his surprise, he hears you accept his apology faintly, right before your quiet snores echo around the room. He smiles at the sight, laying down besides you
As you two fell asleep with one beside one another, close but not close enough, his mother barged in, holding a tray of tea, about to offer some until she noticed the sight before her.
She then smiled to herself, wanting to wake you guys up, or just take a picture to tease you two with it later. She decides to let you two have this moment, because something tells her there would be more to come.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
When winter comes, it comes quietly — the snow falling sneaking up on the world, the same way your feelings for Junpei seemed to. You don’t exactly remember when his presence alone would have your heart beating out of your chest, you don’t remember when you would feel heat rise in your face when he would give you a simple compliment, but it made you uneasy — and confused. Because he was your friend, later on you realized that these physical setbacks weren’t supposed to happen around your friend.
Your friendship with Junpei slowly got better, it was like starting from square one, but he got comfortable fast — you’d say things were getting to how they once were, but you’d argue that they were better. Junpei smiled more, he laughed more, he even got bold and would initiate physical contact with you. It should make you happy, that he has become more open, more willing to shed his light not only to you, but others as well. He developed a better friendship with his club members, he even started to acknowledge people that even shocked you, and it should make you happy.
It should.
One moment you’re urging Junpei to smile more. He’s president of a club filled with classmates with the same interests as him, you jokingly tell him if he can handle being your friend he should have no problem making more. One moment you’re skipping down the halls, holding a bag with a surprise for him – a gift, there was no special event coming up, but you saw the item and thought of him. One moment you’re excited to start off his day with one of his warm laughs, and wide smile you’ve come to adore – and now, you’re trying to be still as your legs wobble, witnessing something that makes your stomach turn in discomfort.
Junpei is laughing – an honest, joyful, (almost too joyful) laugh. The gift bag almost drops to the ground, but you gripped it tightly as it nearly slipped out of your palms, your jaw suddenly tensed up, and you feel like even blinking would be impossible. His eyes are practically glistening as he looks down at the pink hair, doe-eyed girl you knew all too well. She looks up at him, reaching towards his upper left arm, grabbing it after giggling something you couldn’t make out to him. Junpei doesn’t flinch, in fact, he doesn’t react at all. He accepts her physical touch as if it was the most natural thing to him, and something in you bursts. It was as if a fire was casted in your chest, as if the devil himself pushed you far enough to run into Junpei’s back, nearly pushing him further into Ino if you weren’t able to catch the back of his school shirt before he got a chance to fall.
Before you realize what you’ve done, you feel Ino’s large eyes on you, a curious look on her face quickly switching to her sweet smile that has the rest of the school on the palm of her hands, and Junpei looking back at you curiously. You remove your hand from his shirt, slowly bringing it to your side, you lower your gaze to the floor, gripping your gift, wishing to any god out there to have you disappear from the scene itself.
“We have things to go over, Junpei.” You try to state as calmly as possible, but it comes out bitter, a shaky voice followed by a nervous hand reaching for his wrist, not waiting for a response before you attempt to drag him to the opposite direction of Ino.
You peak over his shoulder when he doesn’t move, seeing Ino hold onto his other wrist, keeping him in place. You try to imagine how this looks to the classmates around you, Junpei in between of two classmates, both pulling him into the opposite direction. You try to imagine the amount of self control it would take to not grab one of the most popular first years by the head and drag her down the hall without it becoming a big scandal.
Your breath hitches as Ino looks you in the eye, her smile never faulting. You watch her with a blank stare, your eyes staring at her hand gripping his wrist until she drops it. When you look up she looks back at you innoccently, as if she didn’t just send you into an internal war with her. “I asked Junpei to the Lantern festival.” Ino announces, clear and to the point, her eyes staring directly into yours.
“Just…just the two of you?” You blink back, letting go of the grip you have on him. Your gaze switched from staring directly at her to Junpei, “Did you say yes?”
“No!” Ino laughs out, and it pains you to admit how melodic it was, how you get why Junpei is so comfortable with someone he barely knows. “Chifuyu and Hori are coming. I didn’t want to be the only girl, so I asked Junpei to come along with you. You know them right? They’re in your art classes.”
“I’d like to go.” Junpei states softly. You try not to glare at him, huffing to yourself as you mutter back “whatever.” You pull Junpei rougher, which leads Ino to let go as you drag him into the empty art club room.
The room is silent for the first few minutes. The sound of you ruffling through your bag to get things out and place them onto the desk is the only thing that echoes through the room. The two of you avoid eyecontact with one another – Junpei looking at anywhere but you while playing with his hands, you take out pictures you’ve printed, sprawling them across the desk, neatly lining them up to one another.
A majority of them were selfies of the two of you. If the air around the two of you wasn’t as heavy due to the last encounter, you probably would’ve smiled – chuckled, even. These photos were the visual documenting of the friendship the two of you shared, a visual timeline of seeing his comfortablility with you. From looking awkwardly at the camera (you were lucky if you even got a smile), to some blurry pictures of him shying away, they blossomed into him
“You know,” you started off, pretending to look into the pictures as if you were inspecting them, “When I said you should show the more open side of you more often….I didn’t think you’d do it so easily. Especially with other girls.” You try to sound nonchalant. You try to make it sound like a friend teasing another one.
“I – I just,”
“It’s not a problem. It’s just crazy. Lookin’ at these pictures, y’know? How long it took you to get comfortable with me but you talk to Ino as if you’ve known her for years.” You don’t know what you’re implying or why you’re implying anything at all – Junpei is just your friend and it’s not not fair to act like you own him, that you’re the only girl in the world he should be laughing with.
It shouldn’t bother you that he’s getting more social thanks to his friendship with you. This should be a happy moment. But you can’t help the way the memory of him laughing so easily with her causes your skin to burn, or the heavy fall you felt in your chest when you saw Ino’s hand touch him. The red flush that spread around his face didn’t make it better either.
“I feel like I should say sorry.” Junpei admits, “But I don’t know why I’m apologizing.”
“You don’t need to.” You mumble to yourself, still refusing to look up at him. You sigh as you’re shuffling through the pictures, none of them working for you. The selfies themselves were nice, two friends just savoring memories with one another. Staring at them all heeds the realization that these pictures were nothing but mere proof of your friendship with one another, the word friends sitting grudgingly in your mind. “None of these are good enough.”
You feel Junpei tower over you, his eyes similarly scanning the photos you’ve laid out. He brings his arm out, it hovers over you, lighty grazing your shoulder as he grabs a photo that’s caught his eye. Your breath hitches when his chest presses up against your back due to the movement – your body freezing, this physical contact alone having your breath to become uneasy, using every ounce of your strength to not lose the balance onto your legs. Hesitantly, you turn your head to look up at him, his dark eyes glistening, staring at what he’s just picked up with nothing less than stars in his eyes. He brings the picture closer to him, unintentionally wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
Your eyes shift towards the picture he’s holding. It's one of the first ones where he actually felt comfortable enough to look into the camera and smile, his arm wrapped around yours and a peace sign being held up to the side of your face. Your gaze landing on him once again, you tell yourself not to overthink the small grin spread on his face, the red tint that’s just barely making itself visible to you. If you weren’t in such close proximity to him, truthfully, you wouldn’t have even noticed.
“Can I keep this one?” Junpei barely whispers to you. He looks down at you for approval, eyes widening at how close your face has gotten to his. He looks down, noticing it was him who has pressed himself to you, and quickly looks back up into your eyes – face growing redder the more you two look into each other's eyes. You imagine the two of you share the same expression, a mix of being flustered and afraid. His arm wrapped around you stays frozen, afriad that moving would bring you closer or bring your bodies farther from one another. Junpei was unsure which one made him the most uneasy between the two.
Neither of you are sure who brought their face closer to the other, his nose touching yours being the only indication that the two of you were even moving. The quiet room wasn’t silent enough, the beating in your chest too loud for your comfort, convinced that Junpei could hear the way he was making your heart jump. Attempting to break the ice, you open your mouth, closing it just as quickly when you see Junpei scanning your face, his eyes landing on your lips. He tenses up, watching the way it closes and seeing your lips subtly pout.
Seeing Junpei watch you with so much want, feeling his chest rise and fall unevenly on your back, this whole situation became overwhelming for you. Here you stand, a few moments ago trying to rid yourself of the jealousy that was clouding your mind, to now find yourself trapped against him. As close as you two are, it still doesn’t feel close enough. You slightly look away, overwhelmed. Noticing in the corner of your eye the gold sparkly bag making itself noticeable to you on the tabl besides the one with all the pictures.
Whether you were even looking for an escape from the situation or not, you took it, quickly removing yourself from Junpei’s hold. Your cheeks heat up as you shuffle yourself away from him, quickly turning and grabbing the gift back. A deep breath escapes your lips as you turn to him, ignoring the look of rejection spread across his face. You chuckle awkwardly, lifting your arms straight and pushing the bag into his chest.
“I got you something.” You announce too quickly, the sentence almost sounding like one word mushed together. Junpei blinks as he stares at the bag, hesitantly grabbing it and removing it from your hold. Whatever confusing feeling he had left for the time being as he opens it, pulling out the movie Killer Klowns From Outter Space disk.
“I thought you hated this movie.”
“I do. That’s why I’m giving it to you. You can keep it, you said it was hard to find a copy. My mom was gonna toss it anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. It was my dads. I would rather give it to someone who matters to me just as much than just throw it out.”
Junpei smiles, a soft “Thank you” leaving his lips while he pulls you in for a hug. You can’t move for a moment – nor speak. Just leaving one awkward situation where your bodies were almost too close for comfort right into another one. You slowly wrap both your arms around him, feeling his grip on you tighten.
While it no longer feels awkward, to deny you felt anything other than your stomach doing flips and feeling so at ease in his grip all at once would be a lie.
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tsukkismoonlight · 5 months
Text
When It Comes To You || J.K × Reader
Summary: You've somehow gotten stuck with the most obnoxious (Minus boy genius Armin Arlert) group ever for a college class project. Eren Jeager, and Jean Kirstein. The latter of which seems to find a way to weasel his way into your life, making your plans for a quiet college experience fall away.
Author's Note: okay, like a year and some odd change in months later i'm finally posting this fic!! Honestly life kinda got in the way but we all know how it is. Anywayyyys, I hope yall enjoy! This is my first longer fic, so let me know what you guys think! Also super big shoutout to my buddies on discord for beta reading the first portion of this! <3 wk: 16.7k
Warnings: unedited, probably ooc characteristics who knows
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"Would you two knock it off?" were your first words since the two bone-headed, annoying, loud-mouthed boys had started arguing. 
Here you were, in an empty classroom, supposed to be working on a group project for at least an hour or two, and the /only/ thing that your group had done was bicker back and forth. 
The first of the two boneheads, Eren Jeager, had spent the whole time insisting on his ideas, and his ideas alone, while the other, Jean Kirstein, had only been arguing that the former's ideas were stupid and that 'if anything, Eren should shut his trap and just do the grunt work.'
The blonde, Armin Arlert, was clearly just as done with them, but took a more quiet approach to trying to stop them. Any time he could interject, he tried to reason with the two, but of course neither would listen. 
So, when you stood up, slamming your palms onto the table and shouting at them, all three of them quickly grew quiet. "We only have so much time to work on this project, and I am /not/ going to fail this project because you two idiots can't let go of your egos for more than two seconds!" 
"Well, maybe if this asshole would-" Eren started, mostly keeping his voice at a low grumble, sounding like a scolded child.
Jean, cutting Eren's words short while crossing his arms across his chest, "Oh yeah, /I'm/ the asshole here…"
But with another of your glares sent to both of them, the two stopped once more.
"Maybe we should split up the work?" Armin was already writing out two plans, where you could make out his name and Eren, meaning that you were stuck with Jean. 
Not that you wanted to be with either of them. You'd rather take Armin and just leave the other two to fail. But, as this was a group project, Professor Hange had made it clear that points were to be docked for any group that did not complete the assignment together.  
You plopped back into your seat, sighing heavily. "Okay, we will work in two groups. Looks like Eren, you're going with Armin, and Jean, you're with me." You paused as Armin slid over the paper he had drafted up. 
Glancing over it, you could see that he had given you and Jean a good amount of work, yet he had still given himself more. Part of you wanted to point it out, maybe even offer to take some of the load, but the other part of you knew that Armin would refuse and somehow make it sound like the nicest thing he'd ever do.
"Okay, so, from there, once all the research is done, Armin and I will meet up in person to work on the presentation bits, which means that Eren and Jean, you will only need to put your findings in a document for us. That should be easy enough." 
When no one objected, you started to pack up your things.You waited for Jean to take a picture of the draft before tucking it away in a folder carefully. 
Around you, the others started to do the same. With a small breath of relief, you finished packing up and slung your bag over your shoulders, looking to each of your groupmates slowly. "If anyone has questions,” you announced, “please text me. I gave Armin my number already, but if you need mine, ask now."
Eren slid his phone across the table to you, a sour look on his face, as he was clearly upset with the whole situation, and the fact that he had been yelled at over it. You ignored his attitude and typed in your number before returning the phone to him.
Next was Jean, who looked at you for a few moments, then handed his phone over to you, where you repeated the process of saving your number for him. 
With that done you set off to your dorm.You didn't live alone, but it was bound to be a wonderful change in pace (and in volume levels). When you arrived, you slipped your shoes off and headed for your room, pausing for a second as you saw one of your roommate and probably your closest friend Sasha Braus. Currently she was sitting on the floor of her room, clutching a bowl of soup…or what was probably a bowl of soup, as it was empty now. 
"Oh, hey! You're back already?" she asked, turning to you with a spoon dangling from her mouth. It caused a slight slur in her words, so it came out more like, "Ohhh, heyyy, yer bick alreaty?"
With a sigh, you walked into her room, dropping your bag by the door before flopping onto her bed (which was incredibly comfortable). "Yeah, I called it quits early because I got paired with Armin, Jean, and Eren, and Armin is fine and all, but your stupid friend and Eren can't go more than five seconds without fighting." 
You could hear a soft clink as Sasha put her spoon down. "Well, it always works for me to hit them." 
"I can't hit my group mates…even if I want to," you grumbled, rolling over onto your side so you could see her.
"I can hit them for you then, just tell me when and where." She flexed her arms, raising her eyebrows up and down at you as she did so. 
This caused a breathy laugh to come from you. You could feel yourself starting to relax. Your two roommates were probably the only reason that you had stayed sane so far. 
Sasha was always good at getting you to smile, at times she wouldn't stop until you showed some sign of positivity. And of course you were more than grateful for it. 
When you had first moved to the dorms, you had kept to yourself, unsure if you really liked her at all. But with time, you warmed up to her easily. 
There had been a handful of nights where she would invite you to stay up and just talk, or watch some movie. And, at times, she would share food with you, which you learned wasn't always her favorite thing to do. 
"Hey, one of these days we need to catch up on Food wars." 
You looked back to her, nodding along, "Oh for sure! Maybe sometime this next week I can stay up with you and we can watch it. Maybe buy some junk food too." 
At the prospect of snacks, she perked up even more. "Can we get-"
"Yes, we can get the baked potato flavored chips." 
"You didn't even let me finish!" Sasha pouted a little, though still unable to hide her excitement at the confirmation of her favorite snack.
You reached down and flicked her forehead lightly, "Well I already knew what you were going to say. It wasn't hard to figure out."
"Hey! I could have asked for something different! Like, salt and vinegar ones!" 
"You don't even like those, and neither do I. We wouldn't ever buy any." 
The two of you talked for another five or so minutes until she had to leave, shouting something about Connie Springer owing her dinner. You took the time to go back into your own room which you actually shared with a third roommate ( neither of you wanted to share a room with Sasha because of her snoring). However, he wasn't home yet, which meant that he'd probably be back late.
You pulled your laptop out of your bag and plugged it in; then you went to grab your notebooks, some pens and pencils, and finally your copy of the book for your project. It was best to get a headstart on the project, as it was worth most of your grade. 
Professor Hange had assigned the class to read and analyze an old book written by a nameless author. The idea and plot was interesting to a point. It was a war between mere humans, and a race of humans that could take control of what they called titans. The main two parties at war were named Marley and Eldia, both of which claimed that the other was in the wrong, and had vowed to take revenge, wanting to eradicate the other's existence. Towards the end, there was something of a compromise, and Marley seemed to come out victorious. All in all, there was a lot more to it, and the details were typically gorey and morally wrong. The ending wasn't ever written, leaving all readers to question what they knew and what they may not have been told. 
This is where your project came in: you were to try and look into the book, outside sources, even artwork, whatever the class could get their hands on, and work on an analysis. Hange hadn't given many guidelines; they wanted to leave it open and see what the class would come up with. Your group hadn't made a decision yet, but so far, Eren was dead set on writing an analysis on who he thought was right and freedom and some other crap, while Jean only had talked about how Eren was wrong. 
Luckily enough, Armin had already written up a potential analysis summary, one that focused on how the two sides were similar and what they shared in common with the rest of humanity, and how trying to pick a side would only allow their bloody history to repeat again. His was rather long winded, but it allowed for you to pick and choose the best parts, and what you guys wouldn't really need. 
You spent some time searching the internet for more sources, coming across a few articles on what could be a deeper meaning to the story, and a few on what could have been the rest of the world's view on both Marley and Eldia. 
That was when you came across a page for the local museum; it seemed that there was going to be an exhibit about the book, featuring many different artists and even some written works. Taking a moment to write down the dates and price for tickets in your phone’s note app. You then sent a quick text to Armin about it, letting him know that if he wanted, you could go and check it out with Jean. 
Clicking your phone off, you gave a heavy sigh and stood up, pulling your arms above your head in a stretch before continuing to work on the project. You knew that you should probably eat something, and drink some water, as you hadn’t really been able to do so in the last few hours. But with the project being so important, you decided against getting back up. If you got up now, chances were that you’d end up wasting some time doing who knows what. You really needed to just focus on your work, food, water and relaxing could come later. This was typical for you, what was one more time anyways?
Quietly, your afternoon quickly turned to night, and you wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for both of your roommates crashing into your room. 
You turned around, eyeballing Sasha and your third roommate, Marco Bodt, unsure if you really wanted to ask questions. 
"She was drinking with Connie at his place," 
"Huh? Noo I waz'nt ! Conn and I were jus playin a game an' then…and then..mmkay maybe I was drinking, but!" Sasha rambles on for a minute, still leaning heavily on Marco, who just gave a half hearted and weary smile. 
You shook your head, and stood up, making your way over to Sasha taking her off Marco's hands "Was Connie like this too?" you asked.
"Yeah, he and Jean both…" Marco sighed, following you as you took Sasha to her room. While you carefully put her in her bed,  Marco pulled her shoes off for her. 
At his words, you paused for just a moment then you continued to fish Sasha's phone from her pocket, placing it on the charger for her. 
"Of course, Jean was drinking, too." you remarked. You tried your best to ignore the irritation rising in you. It wasn't like you guys had to get the whole project done right away, or that Jean couldn't enjoy a drink with his friends. But, it wouldn't surprise you if only Armin and yourself had been the only two to even start.
As the two of you left Sasha to sleep, Marco motioned to the kitchen, saying, "Hungry?" You gave a small nod in response.
Once in the small kitchen area, you hopped onto the counter while your roommate got to work on making something simple. From the looks of it, he was just making mac and cheese, but you couldn't really care less. You hadn't noticed it earlier, but you were actually starving. 
A quiet buzz from your pocket pulled your attention from Marco cooking, and you pulled your phone out, seeing a few messages from an unsaved number. 
"Heyy, it's me"
"Jean"
"just figured i'd text you since we have be partners"
"Not complaining cause i dont wanna be stuck with eren" 
You shook your head at your phone, typing a quick reply back, “Wow really? I couldn’t tell.”
Another buzz, another incoming message, “I really hate that guy. He’s stuck up, and always thinks he’s right”
“You know, I feel like there’s someone else like that too.” You sucked in a deep breath, already feeling a tinge of annoyance creeping its way into your body. Sure, Jean was bound to be the better of the two, but that didn’t mean that you wanted him texting you about his testosterone fueled hatred for Eren.
A few moments pass before he texts you again, the words a little hard to make out at first, “you better not be implying that im like him”
“I would never do that. You are an okay person in my eyes”
“Just okay? I’m fuckin’ great!”
“Yeahh, sure. I agree with you, 100%”
You could almost feel his skeptical gaze through your phone as he sent yet another message, “I dont know if I believe that.”
“I dont care if you believe it or not tbh”
“I cant tell if you like me or not”
At this, you paused. You didn’t really know the guy outside of what you were told by Marco and Sasha. And he definitely did not know you. If he did, he wouldn’t be bothering you right now. But as much as that all was true, you also didn’t want to outright say that you didn’t like him, at least not over text while he was suspiciously hitting you up out of the blue.
“im not sure if like is the right word. Right now I tolerate you.” 
“Thats a good thing right?”
You didn’t answer, figuring that he would eventually get the hint. But, within minutes, he was texting you yet again. You watched as more messages popped up one by one, all of which just as hard to read as the others. Though you eventually figured them out. He was promising to do his share of the project, as well as promising to keep on schedule with it. The last thing he sent was asking to meet up tomorrow, and figure out what you wanted him to do, and something about how he couldn't really understand the guideline sheet. 
You sent a quick reply, just a place and a time, before returning your phone to your pocket, and just in time, Marco had a bowl of delicious mac and cheese for you. 
"Thanks man, you're the best." 
"Hey, you cooked last night," he said, shrugging, "and somehow it was pretty impressive, given the fact that we're all super broke and have next to nothing in our cupboards," 
You let out a small laugh at that. "I am a person of many talents."
"Do tell your secrets, as I am eager to know," Marco says in-between bites, playing into the bit.
"Oh, I couldn't, because then you would have to learn my /tragic/ backstory of how I had to fend for myself as a child." You dramatically sigh, placing a hand to your forehead, and then paused, peeking out at Marco before saying, "That part is actually true. At my house, we often had 'Fend for Yourself Nights' where you kinda just threw stuff together it could be leftovers, cereal or, like, dry ramen." 
Marco chuckles, pointing his fork at you and saying "So that must be the secret then!" 
The kitchen rendezvous went on for a while longer before you both headed off to bed, agreeing that Sasha can do the dishes when she wakes up. 
The next day, you had managed to drag yourself out of bed and find your way to the coffee shop where you were supposed to be meeting up with Jean. 
Key word is 'supposed' to be, since it had been 30 minutes since you had gotten there. Hopefully, you didn't look like some poor soul that had gotten stood up on a date and more like someone enjoying their Saturday morning. 
Another ten minutes passed, and no word from Jean, you had finished your coffee, and had already finished working on pulling out key information from a few of the web sources that you found the night before. 
You glanced at the time again and cursed under your breath. You had better things to be doing. So, you quickly pack up your things and toss out the trash before leaving.  
Just as you returned to the little table to grab your bag, the bell at the door chimed, drawing your attention.  
There stood Jean Kirstein himself, out of breath, hair hastily brushed out of his face, and clothes a whole mess…you were pretty sure he had worn them yesterday too. 
However, his sudden entrance had also gathered stares from everyone in the shop;most people looked on with a frown, questioning why he had just thrown open the door like that, just to stand there looking like a lost puppy. 
You groaned, marching towards him and then grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the way. 
"Seriously? You show up almost an hour late, and make a big scene?!" you say, continuing to pull him down the sidewalk.
"I know, I know!" He took in a sharp breath, stumbling as he went. 
"I mean seriously?! What's your deal?" 
"I didn't mean to be late! And can you stop shouting? My head is killing me…" 
You came to an abrupt stop and turned around to face him. "It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to be late, you were still late! I mean, come on, I sat there and looked completely stupid while I waited!" 
At your words, he tugged his arm free from your grasp, and hesitated for a moment before, saying, "Okay, I'm sorry. I should have been here on time." 
"Or at least texted me to tell me!" You sighed, bringing a hand up to your temple. "Whatever, let's just find somewhere else to sit and I can show you what your part of the project is." 
With those words, the two of you walked in silence until you were back at campus, arriving at one of the rooms designated for studying. It didn't take long to run through Jean's responsibilities, and for you both to settle into a somewhat uncomfortable quiet and begin to work. 
Currently, you were taking the information gathered earlier and writing them into evidence for your thesis while Jean was searching for art pieces to analyze. 
Every fifteen to twenty minutes or so, you'd check in with eachother and help if needed-and Jean needed more help than you did, really. 
And maybe if he hadn’t spammed you with drunk texts the night before, and then came late to your meeting, it wouldnt have bothered you as much. So when he did ask for your help, you were being short and to the point. Luckily for you, helping him was easy. It consisted of choosing between artwork, and identifying key themes or details that stood out, and then giving him ways to write it down so that it made sense with the overall idea behind your project. Now and then, you'd have him read over what you wrote, just to see what all he thought and if he had any suggestions.
Finally, after a few hours, Jean leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. "Okay, I think we've got a lot done. Why don't we break for the day?" he suggested.
At his words, you hesitated. While a break did sound nice, you'd much rather keep working. If you got ahead, there'd be time for breaks later, or time for helping Armin and the others. 
"You go on ahead, I'm going to stay a little longer. Thanks for showing up today." You gave a small smile before looking back down to your laptop, trying to spot where you left off. 
For a moment or so, Jean packed up his things, not necessarily quietly, but enough for it not to bother you. Though, after he finished doing so, he didn't leave. Instead, he stood /annoyingly/ close to you, seemingly trying to burn holes into the back of your head. 
"Is there something you need or…?" 
"You're seriously going to stay and work more?" 
"...Yeah?" 
Jean let out a small series of 'tsk' noises and began to close your notebooks and the few textbooks you had brought. You stuttered out half of a sentence, none of it making any sense, as you watched him stack up your things, his finishing move to carefully close your laptop without even shutting it off. 
"What are you…Why…I mean-what?" 
"I think you work too hard." he remarked, grinning. Normally that would sound snarky coming from him, this time he sounded gentle, and nothing in his face seemed to show any ill will. "I mean, I've never seen you do anything fun. All you do is push yourself to do work." 
You were at a loss for words, face heating up with embarrassment. Just because he had never seen you do fun things didn't mean that you were some sort of shut in who only ever focused on homework and studying. 
Jean waited for you to pack your things, all of which you did while in a small haze, trying to comprehend it all. When you were done, he motioned for you to follow him, not saying a word of what he had planned. 
The two of you walked outside, Jean slightly ahead of you as he continued to lead the way. Occasionally, someone would stop Jean, asking him about a party or a class. He seemed to have a lot of friends, or rather just a lot of acquaintances.
Eventually, you both came to a little grassy field, one where students often came to waste time, or play games like spikeball, or frisbee. Currently, it wasn't very busy, and the two of you found a spot to sit and relax under a warm spring sky.
For the first five minutes, you sat in silence, an almost comfortable one. You found yourself mumbling about how this wasn't so bad, noticing from the corner of your eye as Jean turned to look at you. 
"Would I ever lead you astray?" Jean elbowed you carefully, earning a scowl from you. 
"Given that we don't really know each other, I'm not sure," you retorted. 
"I know that we've had at least three classes together since freshman year, and that you don't seem to like anyone," he pointed out. 
"Not true,” you said. “Sasha and Marco are very nice people who I like a lot," 
At this he barked out a laugh, a wonderful sound really, compared to his typical evil sounding snicker. "Okay, so you appreciate the presence of three specific people." 
"Three? I only named two people," you said, holding up two fingers to signify your only two friends. 
"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but right now you don't seem to hate me, so I counted myself."
You gave another scowl."If we were able to pick our own groups, I would have picked other people, just for the record" 
"Ouch, that kind of stings." 
You couldn't tell if he was serious or not, but one thing you did know was that he probably wouldn't have picked you either.  Not that it really bothered you. While it was true that you've shared classes in the two years that you've been in college, the two of you never really talked. 
Sure, you've had the quick conversations in the hall, or maybe accidentally bumped into each other when trying to take Sasha home, or even just when Jean would hang out with Marco at your dorm. 
It wasn't that you didn't like him (aside from his huge ego and inability to get along with certain people) or even that you didn't like people in general. You honestly just wanted to focus on school, so that you would graduate on time, and get the hell out of this town. Personal relationships could come later, and you were completely content with that. Being alone wasn't something that bothered you. Or, something that you /let/ bother you. 
You leaned back until you were laying down in the grass, staring up at the cloudy sky. The more you thought about it, the more your head seemed to churn with an anxious and maybe even guilty conscience. 
"By the way, I'd say that, even though we didn't get to pick our own groups, I don't mind being paired with you." You sighed, keeping your eyes trained on the sky as Jean laid down next to you. 
From there, the conversation switched to a few different topics, one of them being a small argument over the particular shape of a cloud and what you thought it was. 
Eventually, the clouds dissipated, and the sky faded from its blue to a dusty orange lined with a pale pink-ish-purple. 
"I guess it's time to go home for the night," Jean said. 
"Mhm, guess so," you quietly said, but made no effort to sit up yet. 
Next to you, Jean stood, brushing off his clothes and running a hand through his hair, attempting to make sure there wasn't any grass on his person. Then, when it was apparent that you still hadn't even moved, he nudged you with his shoe. "You coming or what?" 
"I’m waiting," 
"For what?" 
"The first star I see" 
Jean slowly looked away from you and to the sky, "Can I ask why?" 
"No." 
It wasn't really a big deal, but this was your favorite time of the day, and you had the habit of looking for the first star you could find and making a small wish on it. It had been something you'd done ever since you were a kid; old habits die hard. But it wasn't something you just went and told people about, especially not someone like Jean. You were sure that he'd poke fun at you for it. 
His voice pulled you away from your thoughts, and you watched as he pointed just above your heads. "I think there's one over there." 
From your perspective, he was lined up to where the star was atop his finger.The sight made you smile softly; you didn’t notice that he had glanced back down, watching the small moment. 
"Okay, now we can go." You sat up slowly and climbed to your feet, grabbing your bag from where it had been by your feet. 
The two of you parted ways for the night, and you found yourself back at your dorm, which was uncharacteristically empty and quiet. Either Sasha would come home drunk again (or with her hands full of food that she got from Connie or that Niccolo guy) or that she would stay out for the night. Marco on the other hand, was probably visiting some other friends for the short weekend, so most likely, you had the place to yourself until the following evening. 
With the freedom at hand, you took some time to make dinner and lounged around the shared living space, until eventually, your eyelids grew heavy, and you forced yourself into your bed for the night.
The sound of knocking at your door woke you up. At first, you had half a mind to ignore it, but with your roommates, and the friends they had, the knocking wouldn't stop.  You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was around noon, a time that you hardly ever slept in till.
"Yeah, okay, I'm up. Who is it?" you grumbled at the door, noting that if it was Marco, he wouldn't necessarily need to knock, meaning that it must be Sasha. 
And it was. At your words, she swung the door open lazily, and leaned around the corner, "Heyyy, I was wondering if you had plans today? Connie, Jean, and I were going to play some volleyball! Wanna come? Marco is gonna join us later!" 
You took a moment to think it over. It was Sunday, so you didn't have classes, and depending on how long you were out, you could always do more homework later. Not to mention, Jean's comment about how you worked too much was still fresh in your mind. 
"...Yeah, okay, I'll come play. Give me a few minutes and I'll get dressed." 
She gave you a huge grin, shouting over her shoulder, "They said they'd come! You guys still have the net?" 
You watched as she disappeared back into the main area of the dorm, and then shut your door to change. When you exited, you could see the three of them waiting by the door, Jean holding the net, while Connie was tossing the ball between his hands. 
The walk was fairly short, as Jean had suggested the field that the two of you had been at the other day, and just like the day before, there weren't very many people out. You guys could set up a spot without having to worry about anyone else. 
At least, that's how it was at first. The game went smoothly. Surprisingly, all three of them were pretty good at the sport; though, if you had to rank them, it would be Sasha, then Jean (mostly because he can use his height to his advantage), and then Connie. 
For the first game you played, it was you and Sasha versus Jean and Connie. Then, it switched to you and Connie, and finally, you and Jean. 
No one was really counting points; no one could keep track, though each side was sure that they were winning, even if they weren't. It was about halfway through the current match, right as you were about to serve, when something came crashing into your head. 
It had hit you pretty hard, and it took you a moment to even realize what had happened and what was currently happening. 
"Hey, man, watch where you throw this thing! You nearly took my partner out!" Jean was holding a football and pointing it aggressively at another college student, who you think was named Floch or something close to it. 
The guy snatched the ball from Jean, giving him the dirtiest look. "Well, maybe you guys shouldn't be playing so close to where we are." 
At this, Connie and Sasha stepped up. Connie took to Jean's side, starting to bicker with the guy, while Sasha checked your head, fussing over you. 
"Just say sorry to our friend already. You can at least agree that you hit them!" You weren't sure who said that, as all the voices blended together until that moment. Suddenly all eyes were on you. 
More specifically, Floch's eyes. He regarded you warily, annoyance clear in his eyes and voice. "Your dumbass friend looks fine to me,” he sneered. “And besides, we tried to warn them, and they didn't move. It's their own fault. Don't go blaming me for your friend being an idiot." 
You weren't sure what came over you; maybe it was anger from the childish name calling, or maybe it was the stress of the week getting to you, but within an instant, you had crossed the few feet to get to him, and threw a punch. 
You watched as he stumbled back, nearly running into one of his nameless friends, as he clutched at his face. He was clearly seeing red.
"How dare you!" he shouted out. He started to make his way over to you, obscenities of all sorts falling from his mouth.
None of which you really heard, because at that exact moment, Sasha and Connie both shouted the same thing, 'Run,' and took off. 
And, before you knew it, Jean grabbed your hand, pulling you along as he chased after the two, until you four were sure that Floch and his extras weren't going to follow you. 
When you finally stopped, everyone was bent over, stuck in between laughing and gasping for air. 
"Holy shit! That was insane!" Sasha wheezed out, and straightened out, turning to the group with a large smile on her face.
Connie spoke next, hands still on his knees. "I can't believe we ran away." 
All at once, realization hit you: you had just clocked a guy, and then ran away, without even thinking twice. Never in your life had you done something like that. You weren't super confrontational, and you certainly would rather avoid physical altercations. But, at that moment, you had just done it. And, the crazy thing about it was how amusing you found it. Because even though you were struggling to breathe, you were laughing. The kind of laugh where you couldn't stop, and your eyes would start to tear up. 
From where he was standing at your side, Jean watched for a moment, a certain fluttering in his chest (though he could pass it off as his own endeavors with taking in air). You, for the first time that he had seen, were so laid back about the fact that you had hit someone. And the way that you were now chuckling to yourself, clearly in a sort of disbelief mixed with content. 
Jean drew your attention, "Is it bad that I kind of liked seeing you hit him?" Then he paused, as if he had rethought his choice of words. "I mean, in the sense that Floch is a stuck up, entitled bastard, and that he had it coming." 
You gave a little huff, and shrugged. "Well, I'm sure anyone would pay to see that…I honestly didn't know that I was going to hit him…until right after." 
"Well, that was amazing! That guy's been a tyrant since the beginning of the year! He even tries to get in with Eren's group, as if he was even worth being someone to talk to." Connie clapped a hand on your back, his adrenaline still running through him. 
"And I thought that Jean was the one to start fights," Sasha teased.
"Sasha! I don't start fights!" 
Around you, the three continued to talk while you watched, enjoying the sight.  
It was rather nice, for once. You weren't holed up in your dorm room while everyone else had fun, even if the fun was getting into a fight of sorts—which, as you thought back on it, the whole thing was kind of funny. It would have easily been solved if those assholes had just apologized, but you were starting to think that this outcome was better. 
“Hey, should we go back for our things?” Jean asked, pulling your attention to him.
“Yeah, probably, and if those assholes are still there, I think we know someone who can take them on for us.” Connie sent a lopsided grin your way, a certain mischievous look in his eyes.
You shrugged, acting as innocent as possible. “Oh yeah, you’d be the perfect guy for that, even with the serious height disadvantage.” 
Connie’s mouth dropped open, not quite expecting that kind of remark from you. As far as he knew, you were silent, hardworking, and the person who likes to keep to yourself. Even you were a little surprised, but, maybe after today’s events you could try out some new ways to enjoy your life a little more.
Once again, the four of you made your way back to the field, and as you did, you could see a familiar figure standing by your net, looking down at his phone. 
“Marco! You made it!” Connie shouted out, drawing your friend’s attention. “You missed all the action; it was insane!”
“Huh? Did I miss out on playing? And where were you guys?” 
As you approached, Sasha and Connie exploded into answers for his question. 
“You only missed a little of our game-”
“We had to run from Forrester and his braindead lackeys!”
“We’ve got our own Rocky! You should have seen the way they punched him! No hesitation at all!”
Slowly, Marco seemed to piece all of the information together, nodding as he thought it all over. His eyes looked at everyone one by one until he got to you. “You punched someone? The most I've ever seen from you was the time you swore at your computer when it crashed!”
A small and almost shy smile escaped you, “Well, to be fair he started it. I honestly didn’t even think about doing it; my hand moved on it’s own,”
He only shook his head, looking back around the group. “So, are we still playing?”
Jean shook his head. “Maybe we should head back to one of the dorms? Relax or play some games?”
“Oh! I’ve got some fun games!” Sasha chimed in, then paused. “But I’m kind of hungry, so maybe we could make some food, too!”
Once everyone agreed to the plan, the now five of you ended up in the dorm you shared with Marco and Sasha, where Connie, Sasha and Marco focused on setting up some games in the little living room area, and you and Jean were tasked with making some dinner. Of course, it wasn’t exactly easy, given the few options, but eventually, the two of you were able to settle on a college delicacy: instant ramen. 
You pulled out a pot to fill with water, while Jean opened a few packs of said ramen. All in all, it was easy to make, and didn’t take terribly long. Before you knew it, you were handing out bowls to the other three while Jean brought over yours and his to where you were now sitting on the floor, some game cards in front of you. 
“Okay, listen up, I’m not explaining this twice,” Connie announced. “The game is simple: read a card to yourself and then say someones name who you think matches the card. You flip a coin. If it’s heads, you tell everyone what was on the card and give that person the card. If it’s tails, you keep it to yourself, and the card is yours.” Connie gave everyone a pointed look, and when no questions or objections were raised, the game started.
The first to go is Marco; he took a moment to read his card before immediately calling out Connie’s name. Then when the coin was flipped, it landed on heads, earning a small sigh from Marco. 
“It asked who would be the one to need parental supervision no matter what age someone is,” Marco explained.
“What? Why not Sasha?! She gets into more trouble than I do!” 
“Hah! Say that to Professor Levi and all the times he has had to tell you to shut up,” Jean remarked “And not to mention you black out at every party you go to. Do you know how many times I have to carry you home while you sing at the top of your lungs?”
Connie grumbled a bit, but didn’t try to deny the claims. Instead, he pulled out a card to read. His turn ended with a flip of tails, making it now your turn. 
From the main deck, you pulled your card and read it over silently: ‘Out of everyone in the group, who would you rather make out with?’
You can feel your face heat up, already knowing that you only really have two options, Jean or Marco. And Marco is only really a choice because of how well you know him, but even then, you wouldn’t really want to do that with him. So after a few moments of silence, you call Jean’s name, looking anywhere but at his face. 
“That took you some time; must be a good card.” Sasha grinned, reaching for the coin and giving it an impressive flip. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as it landed, and all at once, five heads stuck together to see the outcome.
Heads. The worst possible way for things to go. You could feel all eyes on you now, and you begrudgingly read out the card, once again avoiding looking at Jean entirely. 
A chorus of ooo’s and ahh’s filled your ears, and everyone had something to say about your answer. 
The only one you even managed to hear was the man himself: “I hope you plan to take me out first, I’m not won over so easily." Of course, he had a cocky smirk on his face, pointed directly at you. 
“Whatever, just…whoever is next, take your turn.” You shook your head, busying yourself with eating some of your food that was now starting to get a little cold. 
Time seemed to escape you all and the night drew to a close with Connie and Jean taking their leave. Marco took the time to wash the dishes, roping Sasha into helping, and you retired to your room. You took the time to change into some comfier clothes and settle into your bed, though not quite wanting to sleep just yet. 
Your mind was still stuck on the first game you played and the card you had picked Jean for. While you wouldn’t argue against the idea of finding Jean attractive, or even the idea of kissing him, you just weren’t sure why you were so trapped in thinking about it. You didn’t even know him all that well, and for the most part, you had thought that he was pretty unbearable. 
And yet, the more your thoughts seemed to revolve around him, the more you could feel an uneasy knot forming in your stomach. There was no way that you were going to let yourself get wrapped up in developing feelings for him, or anyone. You were supposed to be focusing on school so that you could get the hell out of this town and make something of yourself.
Not to mention the fact that all of your previous attempts at relationships crashed and burned. The last time that you had gotten close with someone in that way, you ended up with a mixture of being heartbroken and incredibly angry. That was about the time you started keeping to yourself, as if getting to know someone in a more than platonic way would cause your world to shatter again. You couldn’t-no /wouldn’t/ deal with something like that again. 
You let out a groan, planting face first into your pillow and trying to shoo away all thoughts related to romance and feelings, and of Jean Kirstein. 
“Suffocating yourself?” 
You jumped lightly, head snapping up to see Marco in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. His expression was a little hard to read, though he could be like that at times. 
“Uh…no, not quite what I’m going for, but if it gets the job done, then sure,” you joked.
He moved across the room to his own bed where he took a seat, facing you. “Then what’s with the face-in-pillow tactic?”
You hesitated, knowing full and well how close Marco was with Jean, closer than he was with you. “Oh, uh, just, school things, homework, assignments, that sort of thing…”
His eyes narrowed slightly, brows furrowing. “Yeah, for once I don’t buy that, but if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you to spill the details."
Again, you paused, turning away from Marco and looking towards the door. In truth, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him, since he wouldn’t ever tell a secret that wasn’t his. He was definitely the guy who would just want to talk things out, not wanting things to end badly. 
“Okay…Well…that card I got earlier,” you began. “I’m just worried, and I know that it’s just a stupid game, but I cant help but think about it.”
“Worried that Jean took it the wrong way, or worried that you’d actually want to kiss him?”
Marco was somehow always hitting the nail on the head, a talent of his. 
“Would saying both make sense?”
He thought for a moment, the room filling with an unnamable silence, until he spoke again. “Well, I’m sure Jean is going to take it in the way he always does: an ego boost for his way too big head.” Another pause. “As for the idea of maybe wanting to kiss him, I wouldn’t say that's an all too terrible idea, besides the fact that it’s Jean. But, if you really aren't sure about how you feel towards him, maybe you could…test it out?"
“Test it out?” you repeated, confused.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Like ask him to hang out or something. You don’t have to necessarily make it like a date, but you could use the time to get to know him more, and figure out if it’s just because everyone made a big deal out of it, or if you might actually be interested in him, or getting to know him.”
You thought for a moment. The idea was pretty simple, and a good one at that, though just thinking about it made your heart rate speed up. It wasn’t like you had never been one on one with Jean, but now, with all of your thoughts being scrambled like eggs, it was slightly overwhelming. But when it came down to it, you wanted to sort it all out. If you could set your mind straight, and get rid of these terrible thoughts about Jean, you could get back on track for school.
“You’re right, I’ll definitely try that.” You let out a small breath of air and turned back to Marco. “Thanks, I’m glad you’re here.”
“What would you do without me? And don’t worry— I won’t say anything to anyone. my lips are sealed” He smiled, hand coming up to his mouth to mime a zipper motion.
“Okay, good. Unless you want to end up like the douche from earlier, I wouldn’t recommend telling a soul.” 
He gave a laugh before gathering some of his things to go and take a shower, leaving you alone once more. You eventually drifted off to sleep, and surprisingly, you didn’t wake up once.
The next day, you only had one class, and once that was over, you had gone to the library to study, needing to get work done for a few of your other classes. It was a nice change in pace from the day you had yesterday. It wasn’t super crowded, either, which meant you could focus on your work in peace. 
Though, it didn’t last long, as two new faces joined your table. You looked up, almost expecting to see Jean and Connie, or Marco and Sasha, but to your surprise, it was Eren and Armin. 
“I hope you don’t mind us joining you!” Armin smiles, though something in his eyes tells you that he didn’t pick your table without a reason. 
“Uh, no that’s okay.” 
He and Eren settled into two of the chairs, the latter of the two only pulling out his phone. Armin did the exact opposite. He took out two textbooks, a large notebook, and a handful of pens, pencils and markers. 
For the first five minutes or so, the three of you sat in silence. You worked on homework for a communications class, while armin was seemingly working on a paper for a psyche class. But when Eren suddenly scoffed at his phone, you stopped what you were doing to look up at him, questioning his action. 
He in turn looked at you, maybe even through you. “So, turns out, someone gave Forrester a nasty bruise yesterday. He wont say who, so i’m thinking he got his ass kicked and just doesn’t want to admit it.” 
You feigned ignorance, giving Eren a blank stare, “I’m not really sure who that is, but sounds like a tough time for him.”
Eren regarded you for a moment, but it wasn’t his stare that bothered you. You now had Armin’s attention, as if he wanted to ask a question. Or, make a comment on what you said. But instead he said, “Well, I’m not the one to really get into these things, but Floch does like to cause problems for himself, so maybe he deserved it?” 
You nodded along, not wanting to give Eren any more information. With him, rumors tended to get out of hand quickly, and you really did not want to be the talk of the school over an altercation with Floch. To everyone in the school, you were pretty much some nobody, and frankly, you weren’t upset at the idea. If it meant less trouble for you, it was going to be something you’d stay okay with.
“Well he’s been bitching about it all day. It’s starting to get on my nerves.” Eren flipped his phone over, leaning back in his chair as he did. 
“Does he expect you to do something about it?” You asked, still trying to keep a low profile, while also trying to pry more information out of him.
“I’m sure thats what he wants, but I’m not going to help him with that, Floch can fight his own battles.”
A thick silence descended over your table. You took it as a sign that you could continue working on your homework. The one for your comms class wasn’t due until tomorrow, but you really wanted to finish it. 
This had always really been how you did things. You tried to finish things early, study as soon as possible, take as much time to get your work done as possible. And you weren’t the only one. Armin had also gone back to his work, and though you weren’t sure when it was due for him, but it wouldn’t be surprising if it was due at the end of the week or so.
You weren’t all that close with Armin, but the two of you had taken the time to study with eachother for the one class that you did share, and you had even reached out once to ask if he would tutor you for a few sessions, needing help with your math at the time. It was a nice thought to know that you weren’t the only student to stray from the eyes of their peers.
Though he had a harder time with it, being best friends with Eren and all. Not to mention he was also friends with Mikasa Ackerman, who was arguably the girl who drew most people’s attention. 
Before you knew it, two hours had passed, and you felt your phone buzz. You picked it up from the table, squinting your eyes at the bright screen. It was Jean.
“Hey, why are you with Armin, and that idiot.”
At this, you paused, looking around the library, not seeing Jean. 
“Where are you?” you replied.
After a minute or two, your phone buzzed again.
“Come and find me.” 
And that was it. He didn’t send any other messages, even after you sent him two more, questioning him again. You frowned, then looked to your things. You had been working for awhile, so getting up and moving might not be the worst thing. You proceeded to pack everything that you had pulled out earlier, and stood from your chair, looking to the other two.
“I think I’m going to head out. Let’s meet up again later in the week to work on Professor Hange’s assignment.”
Armin glanced up, and smiled, “Okay! How about Thursday? I can show you what all I’ve finished!”
“Sounds good.” You gave a short wave, and turned away from the table, scanning the surrounding areas before setting off in a random direction. 
There were a few more tables behind some of the bookshelves, but none of the students sitting at them were Jean. You checked out the library’s computer section next, and kept looking until you ended up near Armin and Eren again. Another frown crossed your face, until you heard a muffled laugh. 
With the new hint, you looked upwards to the second floor. And there he was, leaning against the railing, smirking down at you. You felt your face heat up in what you were going to call embarrassment, and definitely not any other word that had to do with your complicated thoughts on him, and how from where you stood, he looked almost handsome. 
You sent a halfhearted glare his way and headed up the stairs, making your way over to him, about to comment on his antics, but you weren’t able to get a word out before he could make fun of you. 
“You looked really dumb running around trying to find me.”
You gave an astonished laugh, “Yeah, well you sounded like a complete stalker just now.”
“And you still came to find me. I’m starting to think you like me more than you let on.” 
The unsettling feeling returned to your stomach at his words, though you weren’t surprised that he was poking fun at you after yesterdays game. “In your dreams.” You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to ease the increasing amount of uneasiness that was slowly taking ahold of you. 
“Hm, I guess that’s true. Does that mean you want me to dream about it?” He looked at you contently, despite all of what he said being the brashest thing you had heard from him yet.
You didn’t say anything to that, instead you changed the subject quickly. “To answer your question about who I was with, I actually didn’t plan on sitting with them. Armin and Eren joined me.”
He gave a slow nod, and peered back at the table down below, where the two were still sitting, “Do you think I could spit on Eren from here?”
“No, and I dont think you should even try.” 
“Buzzkill.”
You scoffed, “I am not a buzzkill. You are just in the middle of some pointless battle of being better than each other.”
Jean looked back to you, staring at you for a moment. Then back down at Eren. “I just don’t get what everyone sees in that guy. He’s clearly an egotistical bastard with no regards to anyone else.”
“Do you think that you guys have anything in common in the fact that you both have ridiculously large egos?”
“Don’t lump me in with him.” This he said more seriously, “Anyways, enough about him, do you want to go do something?”
“Like what?”
He shrugged, and started for the stairs. You followed him wordlessly, and the two of you left the library, now back outside where a light breeze met you. The silence continued to hang over you two as you walked aimlessly in a random direction. You couldn’t tell if he was still thinking about your comment on him and Eren, or something else completely. You decided against asking him about it, and instead found a different topic. 
“Hey so, I found this art exhibit at the museum, it’s about the book Hange assigned us. I was thinking that we could go and check it out and see if we can find anything useful?”
He thought for a moment, eyes wandering the path ahead. “Okay, it doesn’t sound like the worst way to spend an afternoon.”
“Would eleven in the morning on Friday or Saturday be okay?”
“Friday works better for me, I think I’ve got plans with Connie on Satuday.” 
“Okay, Friday it is.” You paused, a smile slowly making it’s way onto your face, “Just make sure to be on time. I wont wait for you this time.”
“Hey! I already apologized for that.” He stopped in place, giving you a pointed look.
You stopped a few feet in front of him, shrugging as you continued to speak, “I need to cover all the bases. I am not going to wait around for you, just for you to tell me that you were hungover.”
“I am not going to be hungover again. I’m not going to make you wait, I swear.”
“You better not, I won’t be as forgiving this time.” You go to move past him, elbowing him as you do. 
He turns on his heel to catch up with you, giving you a slight push at the same time, “You were hardly forgiving last time. You were mad the entire time we were working on the assignment,” Jean pauses, taking a moment to look at the path that you had set off on, “Wait, where are we even going?”
You glanced over to him, then back infront of you. “Well, I’ve done nothing but school work today, and you didn’t mention anything specific other than ‘go do something’ and last time you picked where we went, so now its my turn.”
“Are you going to tell me where we are heading at least?”
“No.” You smiled a little at the statement, remembering how you had done the same thing to him when he had asked about you caring so much about seeing the stars. Looking back over to Jean, who was staring straight ahead, you took a moment to really look at him.
He was pretty tall, and when he wasn’t smiling like some sort of evil bastard, he had a pretty nasty resting bitch face, a combination that probably scared anyone who didn’t know him. Though, you could say that despite all that, he had a few attractive features to him. When he was smiling, actually smiling that is, his eyes lit up. You hadn’t noticed it much before, but now when you thought back on the past few days of being around him, you could see the way his eyes would hold a certain softness.  And when he was thinking, he tended to frown, scrunching up his nose until he came to whatever conclusion he needed. And when the two of you were in the field the other evening, he had an almost blissful aura to him, as if he had no cares in the world, you wouldn't ever guess that he was someone who caused so much trouble. Honestly it was probably a good thing that he had a difficult personality. If his ego was bad now, you don't want to know what he'd be like if he knew all of this about himself.
You looked away before he could catch you staring, and before you gave yourself any more time to think about him, not wanting to let yourself actually fall for the guy. 
Instead you focused on finding your way to today's randomized destination. If you were being honest, you hadn't actually thought of somewhere to go, and frankly, with how little you actually went out, you didn't know too many spots around campus. Regardless, you continued to lead the way, until an idea formed in your head. 
Earlier in the year, you had gotten a tad bit lost while trying to find a class, and ended up on the edge of your campus, where you stumbled on an old tree. Aside from the size of the thing, it seemed completely normal. But when you had looked further at it, there was something of a hidey hole in its backside. Since discovering it, you had made countless trips to the tree, using it as a place to get away from the school. You definitely weren't the first person to discover it, but it seemed like no one else ever really visited the old thing. 
As you and Jean came upon the tree, he gave a low whistle, craning his head back to take in it's height, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you just took me to a make out spot," 
You threw a bewildered look at him, before shaking your head slowly, "Well, since you do know better, you should know that it's more likely that I've brought you to the best place on campus to hide a body."
He in turn shook his own head, "And here I thought we we're getting closer," 
"Closer to hiding your body?"
"Not quite what I was thinking…" he trailed off, taking a moment to circle around the tree, his hand trailing along the bark as he went, "so, what made you pick here? Other than premeditated murder."
As he came back around, you watched as he took the time to drop his bag at the ground by his feet, kneeling down next to it for a moment, searching its contents. 
"Hm, I'm not entirely sure. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who ever comes here anymore." You pause, eyeballing what Jean was now holding in his hands, "It's kind of like a secret hideout minus the secret part, since anyone can stumble on this old tree." 
"And yet you brought me here…I'm starting to worry about my wellbeing," he chuckles, then takes a seat a few feet away from the tree. 
In his hands, he held a sketchbook. It looked a good few years old, as loose pages stuck out here and there, and the sheets were starting to yellow along the edges. You watched on quietly, as he flipped open to one of the last few pages, pausing as he glanced back at the tree. 
After a few moments you moved to stand just behind him, looking down at the page, which now held some sketch lines, resembling the tree just ahead of you.
You kept quiet for a bit, watching him quietly. He was lighthanded, it was as if any stray line within the whole piece would fly off the page and into the world around you. 
"You know you can sit and watch me draw too, right?"
"Yeah, and sit next to you? No thanks." You moved away from him, a slight flustered tone in your voice as you realized just how long you had been observing him. 
Instead, you took a seat at the base of the tree, opening your own bag, pulling out some more of your homework. Between the two of you, the only noises were the sounds of pencil on paper, and the occasional shifting of branches in the wind. 
You weren't really sure just how long things stayed that way. The only thing that brought your mind back to reality was the feeling of being stared at. 
"Need something?" You asked, arching a quizzical eyebrow in Jean's direction.
He shook his head, closing his sketchbook quietly, "Not at all. I was just wondering how much homework you were going to do before you got bored of being such a studious person." 
You scoffed at him. He was teasing you for this again? 
"Well, unlike some people, I need to pass all my classes so I can get the hell out of here." 
"You hate it here that much?" 
You paused, a lump forming in your throat. How were you even supposed to answer that question? All in all, this small town was horrible, and had been that way your entire life. Growing up you didn't have very many friends, and your family was fairly distant to you. You had shouldered all of your problems and responsibilities by yourself. Even now, in your college years it was hard to shake the feeling that you were still alone. 
You drew in a breath. "Sometimes, I sit by myself at my desk, and just stare at one of my notebooks until all the lines blur together. And then I realize that I'm crying. But what's funny about that is, I never know why I'm crying. " you start, bringing your eyes to his, "I never have the words to describe what i'm feeling in those moments. It's the same with how I feel about this place. I really don't know if I hate it, or if I'm just…projecting something else onto it." 
Jean stills with the information, until he takes a long breath in, "Art isn't much of a passion for me, as much as it is a hobby. I can't tell you how many half finished sketches I have. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have it in me to finish them, as if I'm scared of not knowing what I'm going to do next." 
He isn't talking about art. You know this from the way that Jean looks at you, not with pity, but with a hint of understanding. 
It was silent once again. Your brain turned over and over as you repeated his words in your head. Slowly, a wistful smile spread across your face. 
"You know Jean, you're not so bad after all." 
He stands up, shaking his head as he does, and makes his way over to you, holding out a hand for you to take, "I have my moments, I can't always be the charming asshole everyone says I am."
You hesitated for a moment, eyes flicking to his hand. Slender fingers and a wide palm, his hand looked soft, and the thought of holding it, even just for a moment, would be comforting. You took his hand, averting your gaze as he helped you to your feet. 
"I'm sure everyone leaves out the 'charming' part."
"That's where you're wrong, everyone thinks I'm charming."
"Everyone but me that is," you chirp back, letting your hands fall to your sides.
"You dont think I'm charming?" 
The churning sensation is back. You /wanted/ to say no, to tell him that he was annoying, loud-mouthed, and a pain in the ass, but somewhere in the time you'd known him, he had become annoyingly endearing, loudly funny, and a pain in the ass to ignore the thumping in your chest. 
"I can't say charming is the word I'd use to describe you. Horribly pleasant maybe, but not charming."
At this he smirks, starting to walk backwards away from you, "Oh so you think I'm pleasant? Hopefully in the way that I'm nice to look at." 
"You missed the word horrible," 
He waved off your comment, instead placing one hand on his chest, right over his heart, while reaching out the other hand towards you, "and yet, if I asked you to join me to a delicious five star dinner at my dorm, you'd still say yes." 
You could feel your face flush, knowing that he didn't mean anything more than just to hang out for a little bit longer, and not in some sort of lame date way, "I'd only come because it would be free food, even if the food is terrible. Like you." 
"So, that's a yes you'll be joining me for dinner? I've got…box mashed potatoes, frozen broccoli, and hopefully leftover seasoned chicken." 
You turned back to where you had left your things, a slightly messy sight. "Alright alright, I'll come, pick up your things and we can go." 
You knelt down next to your bag, trying to ignore the nervous shaking of your hands as you collected your things. Your mind raced with warring thoughts. How did this happen? How was it that Jean Kirstein of all people, had weaseled his way into being someone that you didn't fully hate? But, there was no way you were going to let him get in the way of school, and your plans to finally be free from this horrible town. But then part of you wondered, was it all one sided? Jean seemed to be the type to have all sorts of girls and guys fawning over him, even if he had only ever been open about one specific girl that he was interested in, which of course had been Mikasa. But you couldn't even blame him, she was out of everyone's league. How she seemed to be completely and obviously in love with Eren Jeager of all people was a mystery to you. 
"Hey, are you listening?" His voice stopped your thoughts in their tracks, as you hadn't even noticed that he had been speaking to you. 
"Now why would I be doing that?" You shouldered your bag, standing back up and facing him.
"We've been over this, because I'm charming- sorry, pleasant." 
"Again, you left out the horrible part." 
"I've got a feeling that you don't mean that, otherwise you'd just call me horrible." He turns halfway away from you, looking back to the general area of the school. 
You paused, walking up next to him, trying to ignore the fact that he was right, "You just have selective hearing." 
Jean eyed you while starting to head back to the dorms, a different and softer smile making its way onto his face, "Not when it comes to you." 
You nearly tripped over a stray rock, his words repeating in cycles in your head. You could only give him a glance, busying yourself with avoiding any other stones on the sidewalk. 
What did he mean by that? What did you want those words to mean? Your mind flashes back to your conversation with Marco. The feeling of your heart painfully pounding against your ribs surfaces. Your hands tremble ever so slightly while they grasp at the straps of your bag. Marco was right, and he hadn’t even said anything about you actually having feelings for Jean. 
As the thought hit, you spared another quick look towards him. He was looking at you. Careful eyes studying your demeanor. The way you walked. The way your eyes struggled to meet his. The way your mouth formed a tight line as you realized all of this was happening.
“Hey, if you really don’t want to try my cooking, you don’t have to come.” He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair for a moment. 
You looked away. You could turn him down, you could go home. It would be the easy way out. You could ignore any of his future attempts at hanging out. You could finish school and leave this place. Leave him and everyone else again. 
The thought of it made you shudder. In doing so, you would be condemning yourself to your worst self. Being alone. 
You looked back to Jean, his face morphed into one of concern, clearly puzzled as to why you were taking so long to answer. 
You were tired of being alone. Tired of pushing away your own happiness in pursuit of a future that wasn’t even set in stone. 
You flashed a smile his way, and waved off his words, “No way, you said it was a five star dinner. I can’t pass on that.”
He stared at you for a moment. Then, his confusion melted away, replaced by that famous cocky smile, “Okay good, I wasn’t sure what to do if you bailed on me.”
“Maybe you could have cooked for Connie too, light some candles, play some mood music, you know, make it all romantic for the two of you.” You chuckled, about to make another remark when Jean gave you a playful shove. 
“Why would you say that! I can’t have a romantic dinner with Connie of all people!” 
“Sure you can! It’s easy! Candles, music, food! All you need!” 
Jean groaned and shook his head. “You’re horrible.”
“Pleasant, actually.” You grinned. 
He hummed in response, and you could’ve swore you heard him mumble ‘horribly pleasant my ass’
His dorm room was warm, and set up similarly to yours. The same bland, small kitchen and the same questionable excuse for a couch just a few feet away. Three sets of doors that led to his roommates, and two bathrooms. 
One of the doors were open, and you caught a glimpse of Connie attempting to take mirror selfies. He would take one, bring the phone close to his face, frown and then try again. It wasn’t until his third or forth picture that he noticed you staring through the mirror. 
“Well if it isn’t our very own Rocky!” He grinned, hastily shoving his phone into the pocket of his sweats. 
“Hey Connie” you waved, then smirked a little, “I'm sure the ladies will love all of those selfies.” 
His face flushed slightly, and he stepped out of his small room, “For your information, the ladies already love seeing my handsome face. I was just taking a few more for-”
Jean cut him off, a bark of a laugh filling the room, “Like you can get a girl to think your ugly mug is anything worth looking at.” 
Connie gaped, “Dude, that’s just cold. I thought you liked my face.” 
You eyeballed the two, before turning to Jean and mouthing the words, ‘romantic dinner’ 
Jean glared halfheartedly, before a smile broke through, “and here I thought I was treating you to a five star, romantic dinner.” 
Connie was now the one looking between the two of you, unsure if Jean was being serious or not. You, on the other hand, could feel your face heat up. He had to be joking. Jean was making a joke based off of your joke. That was the only thing that would make sense at the moment. 
“Only if it involves candles and music.” You attempt to force your voice into sounding level, as if you weren’t sickeningly thrilled by the idea of your dinner with Jean being a little more than friendly. 
His head swivels around the room, scanning the small area before emitting a sigh of halfhearted defeat, “Might need a raincheck on that, I don't have any candles.” Jean pauses, thinking for a moment, “Unless you had your heart set on the romantic dinner with candles and music, maybe I can make something work.” He smirked in your direction, true to his usual cheeky self. 
You faced away from him, moving to set your backpack down on the floor by the door, “No candles, no deal.” You pause, practically feeling Connie’s wide eyed stare pointed at your back. 
“That’s not a no to having a more than friendly dinner, now is it?” Jean fires back, smiling in a not so innocent way. Your stomach twisted in knots. He wasn’t wrong. You had intentionally avoided his question, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of yet another person falling for his aggravating charm. 
You shrug a response, giving back another flippant response, “Sure, if it helps you sleep at night to think of it that way.” 
After a moment of silence, Connie’s voice fills the room. “Yeah so, I don’t really know whats going on here, but i’m gonna head out. Sasha is waiting for me with Marco.” He slides on a pair of shoes, grabs a bag and promptly leaves, but not before saying a goodbye, “See ya later Rocky, and Jean, I hope you choke on your food.”
To which, all Jean says is, “Yeah, whatever man.”
You watch him leave quietly, then turn back to face Jean, studying him for a moment. He hasn’t noticed your stares yet,  not when he’s busying himself with pulling out what he needed for this dinner supposedly high rated by Michelin themselves. 
Throughout the past year or so, you had noticed that when Jean was concentrating, he tended to screw up his face a little, eyebrows scrunched in, mouth quirked off to the side, usually whatever was in his hands was being toyed with. But right now, he was different. A content soft smile, and the look in his eyes was gentle. Fond. Domestic. 
“Do you need help with anything?” You asked, feeling the need to do something other than just stand around. 
Jean looked back up at you, bag of frozen broccoli in his hands. “Do you want to make the instant potatoes or the broccoli?” 
You walked to him, and grabbed the bag from him, “Where do you keep your pots and pans?”
“Planning on making this a fancy dinner?” He paused, taking a moment to grab out a small pot for you, and then a lid. “Are you steaming them?”
You set the bag down, then eyed the pot and lid, “Would you happen to have one of those steaming baskets? Or do I need to get creative?”
Jean smiled sheepishly, “I’ve got Connie for a roommate. If I was Niccolo I would definitely have one of those, therefore, you’ll have to get creative. But you’re pretty smart, so I believe in you.”
You nodded slowly. That made sense. Jean and Connie were in the same boat as Sasha, Marco and yourself. If you had done more planning for dinner you probably could have worked something else with Niccolo to borrow his cooking supplies. Though you were sure that the guy would say no, as he was pretty particular about his things. Oh well. You’d have to figure something else. 
The rest of the preparations went fine, and before you knew it, the two of you were sitting at a dingy table that each dorm room had, making small talk over left over chicken and mid-tier potatoes and broccoli. 
“Okay, so I’ll  bite. What’s your deal?” Jean asked suddenly, then his eyes went a little wide as he realized the wording of his question, “I mean! Uh…Well-”
You cut him off, easily able to tell what he meant, “Do you mean why do I have no life and only study and do my work alone?”
He melted under your gaze, before nodding slowly, “I meant it a little nicer though.”
“Its okay, I got what you meant…I think.” You set your fork down, suddenly scrutinizing a small crack in your plate. 
Jean cleared his throat a bit before speaking again, “It’s just that…you spend so much time studying, and it definitely pays off. I’ve heard from Sasha that you have really good grades. But…”
“But?”
“They worry about you. Sasha and Marco that is…and well, I kind of do too. At least, more now that I know you a little better.”
You don’t respond. He’s going somewhere with this. You can tell by the cadence of his voice, how he seems to be picking his words carefully.
“I think that even just in the past few days, you’ve opened  up a lot…I finally got to see you smile.” He paused, “I remember one time last year, in one of our shared classes, I went to see the professor, but you were already there, pleading with him for some extra credit. And when you came out, you look like you had been crying. The next day, I went out of my way to tell you a joke, hoping that maybe you’d smile.”
“I remember that. I told you that I was busy with a make up assignment and ignored you.” You hummed a little, thinking back to Jean back then. His hair was shorter, and he was even more obnoxious that he had been this year. It was one of the few times you had actually spoke to him at the time.
“So…I guess I was just wondering where all this pressure on you comes from?” He fidgets with something in his hands. Like when he’s focusing on his work. You’ve seen it countless times in the past, you just never thought about it until now.
With a sigh, you resign yourself to telling him a little bit about yourself, “I’ve lived here my whole life. And my whole life, I’ve basically been alone. Friends were hard to come by, especially after I decided that all I wanted to do was leave. So, with no one to hold me back, as long as I finish college strong, I can leave and go anywhere I want. I have to do this. Staying here is out of the question…” You trailed off, thinking about how you had never truly said these words out loud. 
“But?” He spoke softly, as if he could tell that you had been battling with yourself on what you truly wanted. He stared at you, not through you as most other people did. Your heart sped up. What were you supposed to say now? You had only started to question your aspirations because of him. And you absolutely would not be sharing that thought now. 
“But nothing. I meant what I said. I’m getting out of this hell and I’m not looking back. Ever.”  you spat the words out, a sudden low and hollow feeling settling in your stomach. What were you doing? A small voice in the back of your head answered that question for you. The same one that you let control most of your college days. You were wasting time, you had assignments to do and a degree to work towards. 
You moved to stand suddenly. “I have to go…I forgot that I’m supposed to meet with Armin tomorrow. I should really make sure that I’m ready to show him my part..and yours too.” You grabbed your backpack, and escaping out into the hall. 
You stood there quietly, chest moving up and down as you took in harsh breaths,  not entirely sure why you did all of that. With a shake of your head you made the journey back to your own dorm, not bothering to take off your shoes at the door like you normally did, instead you merely trudged into your room, tossing your bag onto the ground by your desk, and finding a seat on the edge of your bed. 
“Are you okay?” Your freckled friend spoke up, nearly giving you a heart attack in the process. You hadn’t even noticed that he was home.
You didn’t answer. Instead, tears began to fill your eyes. He was by your side in an instant, arms wrapping around you carefully. Muffled sobs wracked your body. With each one Marco only hugged you a little tighter. He let you cry until you were done. 
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” The words fell from your lips, and you couldn’t stop what came after them, “This whole time i’ve had one goal; to graduate with soaring grades, and to leave. Make as few friends as possible so that way I wouldn’t get distracted…and so that leaving would be easier.” 
“What changed then?” Marco asked, his voice soft and careful. You got the feeling that he already knew the answer.
“Jean. Jean crashed into my life and ruined my plans. I haven’t even really known him that long and suddenly I’m throwing away school just to hang out with him. I haven’t been studying the same way I used to, instead I’m playing volleyball with him, and he’s holding my hand as we run away. I’m sitting with him by that old tree and thinking about him instead of the words on my papers. I’m cooking with him and thinking about how muchI want to do it all again.” Your words are quiet, but Marco hears them all the same.
“You do know that those don’t have to be bad things, right?” He lets you go, taking a moment to scoot away ever so slightly, making you look up at his face, where a small smile rests, “It’s been nice to see you let loose. And I know that you’ve been enjoying yourself.”
You attempt to frown, “Thats not true.” 
A beat passes and you speak again, “Okay. Maybe a little…but I-”
“No. No buts. You are the hardest working person I know. You are smart and you always apply yourself to your work. You are doing amazing. It’s time that you see that for yourself. You will finish school, and you will be able to go out into the world and do whatever you want to do, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait to have any of that fun. You deserve to enjoy your life, the one right now in the present that you are living, okay?”
His words played on repeat in your mind a few times, you tried to interalize them, make them into your own instead of letting that voice shoo them away. 
“Okay.” You nodded, then brought a hand up to your face, covering your mouth for a moment, “I left Jean.”
“What?”
“We were eating dinner and talking and then I got upset and I just…I just left. “
Marco pursed his lips, nodding slightly as he tried to imagine the scene. Jean sitting alone at his table, probably confused and wondering what he did wrong. “Well…theres only so much you can do about that, which I suggest texting him. Let him know that you’re alright, and just so that the poor guy doesn’t overthink, that he didn’t cause you to run off.”
You nodded, “Right. Okay. I can do that.”
It grew quiet between you and Marco, though it didn’t last very long. There was a light tone in his voice, one he used when he wanted to tease someone without making them aware of it, though you had learned to recognize it fairly well. 
“So, I’m assuming that you like Jean…at least a little bit.”
“Okay. Get off my bed. This moment is over.” You push him gently, facing away from Marco. 
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Oh would you look at the time? I should really head to bed, okay goodnight Marco, get off my bed.”
He laughed, and did as you said, letting you have the room so you could change, “goodnight lovebird.”
Ignoring him as best as you could, you changed quickly, and crawled right back into your bed, under the safety of your comforter.  Once there, you pulled out your phone, fingers trembling as you brought up the chat with Jean.
You stared at it for a moment. The last messages were from earlier this day. He hadn’t said anything since then. 
Slowly you typed out an apology. “Hey Jean, I’m really sorry for just bailing earlier. Super not cool of me.”
You groaned at the words, quickly backspacing and starting again. “Sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to just leave you there. I promise things are fine. It wasn’t you, or the food for that matter.” 
You hit send, not giving yourself time to overthink the text any longer. 
Fairly quick after your message had been sent, Jean had already replied. “Its okay! You had me worried for a minute there. Thought maybe the food tasted so bad that you just had to leave to get an actual five star dinner.”
He was being courteous. Trying to keep the conversation light as to not scare you off again. 
Your fingers flew across the keyboard once more, “Let me make it up to you. Friday, 11am, at the museum.”
“You really don’t have to make anything up to me, I get it.”
“Jean. Just let me feel bad and try to make it up. Or else I will think about this all night.”
His next message wasn’t exactly what you thought he’d say…or actually, it was exactly what he would say, “Oh, so if I don’t let you have your way, you will be up all night…thinking about me?”
“No.” You hit send. Then sent another message, “Ykw nevermind. I’m not sorry. Be on time friday or else.”
He was quick to shoot back another response, “Okay fine. Make it up to me.”
Then another message, “How do you plan on doing that anyways?”
“You’ll see. Be patient.”
It wasn’t long after that did you eventually fall asleep. The next day was pretty uneventful. Your meeting with Armin was fine, as the guy already had about half of the presentation outline done, and with all of the information and other necessary work that you had gathered, Armin would most likely have the whole thing done by the time he went to bed that night. 
The rest of the day passed quickly, almost too quickly for your liking. Before you knew it, your alarm was going off, signalling that it was ten twenty-five in the morning. 
You had spent some time the day before thinking of how to make up for ditching Jean the other night, and finally settled on an idea. Said idea was currently sitting on your desk, inside a plastic bag. 
You gave it a quick look before climbing out of your bed, moving to your dresser to get ready for the day. 
You had just thrown on your shoes, sparing a glance at your phone to the time. It was eleven. You were going to be late. Of course after all that talk to Jean about being on time, you were going to be running behind this time. You could only imagine what he would have to say about it.
You hurriedly grabbed the bag from your desk, and shoved your phone into you pocket after sending yet another apology to Jean. 
The trip to the museum took about twenty minutes with public transport. It was eleven twenty-three and you had finally made it to the museum doors. 
Jean was standing just to the right of them, staring down at his phone, his back to you. You watched as he brought his phone to his ear, and smiled slightly as your phone buzzed in your pocket. 
You let it ring. Walking up and tapping his shoulder a few times. “Sorry I’m late.”
He spun around, eyes landing on your form. His mouth hung up for a moment before he hung up the phone call, “Is this to get back at me for the other day?”
“No…I just slept past my first alarm.”
“Oh so when you’re late its okay but when I’m late its the worst thing ever.”
You shrugged slightly, “I at least texted you in advance.” You paused, then remembered the bag you were holding, “Oh…um. I got you this. To make up for bailing.”
He eyed the bag suspiciously, “I thought I told you not to worry about it.”
“I worried about it. Now just say thanks and take the bag from me.” You rushed the words out, holding it out to him, “No refunds so you have to keep it.”
His fingers deftly took the plastic handles from you, and reached inside the bag. You watched quietly as he lifted the gift out, eyes softening as he realized what it was. 
“You bought me a new sketchbook?” He hummed a little, looking at the cover for a few moments, “This is a really nice brand too. I’ve always wanted to try it out.”
“Your other one looked a little full the other day…so I figured I could afford a nice one to say that I’m sorry. “
Jean let the sketchbook slide back into the bag, “Well…thank you. I really appreciate this.” He toed something on the ground, eyes unable to find yours. 
You instead took this moment to find the exhibit tickets on your phone, nudging him slightly, “Let’s get going, there’s a couple of pieces I think we should look at specifically.”
Once inside, you took a few moments to study the map of the place, trying to figure out which hall you needed to go to, before Jean took your hand in his, face a little flushed as he did so. 
“I come here pretty often, most of the new exhibits are near the back on the first floor.” He said, pulling you along with him. 
It wasn’t too crowded, and as most museums were, it was quiet. A nice solitude for those who liked to hide away from the world, and find new ones in the art and historical pieces sheltered there.
When the both of you made it to the exhibit, you found that you were the only ones there. Meaning that you could stare at the art as long as you needed. Which you did. Slowly you let Jean’s hand slip from yours.
You hadn’t thought about seeing the art in real life, and how much it would effect you. Entrap you in every single paint stroke, every single carving of marble. It was beautiful. Clearly the story that was assigned to you had meant a lot the various artists. 
You found Jean staring at a drawing. It was mostly in charcoal, though some color had been added here and there, giving the piece whimsical dimension. It looked to be a tree. A large, barren tree in a valley of never ending sand. From the branches, blue and green spilled out across the paper, spanning what would be the sky. 
“You like this one?” You asked with a hush, not wanting to startle him. 
He nodded, “It’s simple, but I just know that the artist put a lot of work into it. Every line is purposeful. And we will never truly know what it means.” He responded, eyes traveling down to the plaque, where it read the piece’s title, “Paths.” With an unnamed author. 
You let him look at the drawing for as long as he needed. You wandered to a sculpture on display a few steps to the right. It seemed to be one of the titans depicted in the story. Creme colored marble in the form of a woman, skeletal mouth open in what the book claimed to be a war cry. There were ribs formed around her abdomen. Her hand outstretched towards the open air. From this perspective, despite the lack of facial features, the statue almost looked sad. A women with an extraordinary ability, forced to use it for harm, all because she was in love with the wrong person. At least, that’s what you wanted to think.  You were sure that others in your class thought the opposite. Which of course was exactly what your analysis was going to focus on. 
You studied it for a few more moments, before looking away, finding Jean now standing across the room, in front of another painting. You moved to stand next to him, looking at what held his attention.
It was of a starry night sky, bathed in dark blues and purples. Underneath, was a lone pig in a field, head faced towards the grass. 
“This is what started the book, right?” You asked, watching as he nodded once.
“But that’s not what i’m thinking about.”
“Then what’s going on in your mind?”
Jean looked back to you, smiling sideways, “Why did you wait the other night, at the field? I figured that you were waiting for a star, but why?”
You brought your eyes back to the painting, looking from the dark green grass, to the pig that was grazing on it peacefully, then to a star painted to be the brightest one there. 
“When I was younger, I used to stand outside, or at my window, and just wait. As soon as I saw the first star of the night, I made a wish on it.” You paused, thinking back on your childhood, “I used to wish for a friend, or someone more than that. I was pretty lonely as a kid. Eventually I started wishing for a future other than that…and then, I stopped wishing. I still would wait for the star, but I made sure that I wasn’t relying on a ball of gas in the sky to make my wishes come true.”
“I’d say that they came true then.” Jean turned his body to face yours, looking down towards you, some thought dancing in his eyes.
You mimicked his motion, allowing yourself to face him fully, “And what makes you say that?”
“You’ve made two whole friends.” 
“I’ve made three.” You corrected him softly, thinking back to your first conversation about it with him, “Sasha and Marco are very nice people who I like a lot.” You state matter of factly.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “And the third? Don’t tell me it’s Floch…or even worse, Eren.”
“Mmm close. It’s you.” 
He places a hand to his heart, dramatic words escaping him, “How long have I waited for you to realize that you and I are friends.”
“You’re still horribly pleasant.” You remark, shaking your head, “Maybe I should take it back about being friends.”
“Too late, you already said it. No refunds.” He drew closer to you, enough to where you could feel his warmth. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Isn’t that technically already a question?” You pause, then nod to him, “But, yeah, go for it.”
“When you graduate, and leave this town. Will you forget about your friends?”
You hesitate. You knew that he wasn’t really asking about Marco or Sasha. You can feel your stomach flip over a few times, that annoying feeling of nervousness that came whenever you thought about Jean.
“No. I wont. How could I?” Your words seem to have some sort of effect on Jean, as he dodesn’t speak. You continue, trying to pick your words carefully, “When it comes to you, specifically you…I would have one hell of a time forgetting you, Jean.”
“I am pretty cool…” He mumbles, then swallows his pride, “But, what if I don’t want you to remember me?” 
You tilt your head to the side, giving him a confused look, but still allowing him to continue.
“I just mean…what if I want to be remembered as not just a friend. As more than that?” 
He locks eyes with you, his face serious as he waits for you to say something, to say anything really. 
You swear that your heart stops beating altogether. It wasn’t one sided. You thought back to your conversation with Marco from two nights before. You deserved this. Deserved to enjoy yourself. To let yourself live a little. 
“I think i’d like that.” You smile warmly, “Because I like you Jean. I tried really hard not to, but I do. And maybe, just maybe I don’t want to look back on college and only remember you as a friend.” You pause, taking in a small breath and willed yourself to finish your thought, “Maybe, after I graduate, we both can look back on the time. Together.”
“So, you don’t want to skip town and never look back?” he asks
“Skip town? Still do, but I can’t afford to ignore my time here.” 
“What if I came with you when you leave.” it’s less of a question, and more of an idea.
“Let’s just get to graduation first, Jean.”
He lets out a breathy laugh, nodding as he does, “Got ahead of myself there. But I have one more question.”
You study him for a moment, just as you had been studying the rest of the art in the museum. “You know, you were only supposed to ask one question anyways.”
“Last one, I promise.” 
“Okay, okay, what is it?”
“Can I kiss you?”
You’re suddenly all too aware of the small gap in your bodies, and his baited breath, and the sensation in your stomach that feels less like churning water and more like butterflies floating around blooming flowers. You hardly hear yourself tell him yes. 
The stiffness leaves Jean’s body, and he brings his hand free from the plastic bag up to your face, cupping your cheek lightly. His hand is warm, but not as warm as your flushed face is. His thumb moves back and forth slightly as he pulls you to him. His lips are soft, and you can feel his lashes flutter against your cheek. You easily find it in you to move in sync with him, allowing yourself to lean into the kiss, a small smile finding its way onto your face. 
He lets you pull away first. And for a moment all the two of you can do is stand there. You’re sure that you could stand there all day with him. 
You let him speak first. 
“So, am I still horrible?”
“Horribly, yet pleasantly charming. Yes.”
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bedsyandco · 7 months
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“Will gets way too drunk and Em has to come get him cause he'll only leave with her”
a blurb of this pleaaaseeee???
*after the breakup*
this is horribly unedited and written with one eye open. I'll edit it a bit tomorrow.
-
After another victory at home the guys decided to go celebrate accordingly, dragging a reluctant Will with them. Despite scoring tonight, Will just wasn't in the mood for people.
He'd much rather go home with Em, take a shower and fall asleep watching the Bachelor while she runs her fingers through his hair. But he can't do that anymore, so he let's Ryan and Gabe convince him to go out.
Will tries to have fun, he really does but his mind is on Emerson the whole time. His mind has constantly been on Emerson since the moment he met her at the draft.
He sits on the couch, the room buzzing with people, sipping on one too many drinks and scrolling through his "my girl" folder. A bit pathetic, he knows. He knows he did the right thing for both of them by ending it but he can't help but think now that having one piece of Em is better than not having her at all.
"C'mon bud, we're taking you home," Ryan says as Gabe and him try to coax Will off the couch and home, but much to their dismay Will's not moving, at all. In fact the more they try to get him up the worse it gets and he ends up laying on the couch staring up at them.
"I want my Em," he says and Ryan sighs.
"Smitty it's late. She's probably already asleep, do you really want to wake her up to come get you?" Ryan asks
"She's not asleep. It's Friday night, she's staying up and binging Gossip Girl." Will mumbles and Gabe and Ryan share amused glances at the fact that he knows that.
Ryan curses under his breath and pulls Em's number up, texting her the address and asking her to come.
Ryan can't believe what he's seeing when Emerson arrives only minutes later. Her hair on the top of her head resembles a bird's nest more than a bun. She's has no makeup on, her eyes a little puffy like she's been crying. She's wearing pajama pants and an oversized BC eagles hoodie, her feet in a pair of UGGs.
She rushes over to the couch where they're standing, or lying down in Will's case.
"What's going on? What's the emergency?" she asks scanning them all over frantically.
"What emergency? There's no emergency..." Gabe says and Emerson glares at Ryan.
"You texted me an address saying 'SOS. It's Will. Come ASAP' What was I supposed to think?" Em asks and Ryan winces.
"Okay, that sounds a bit...concerning" Ryan responds
"Is that why you got here in like 5 minutes? Isn't your apartment 15 minutes away from here?" Gabe asks
"Yes. So if I get a ticket in my mail box in the next few days, I'll be sure to send it to you. Why am I here?" Em asks and her eyes finally drop to the couch, where Will is laying, fast asleep.
"He's wasted and he won't go home. He asked for you. Figured you're the best option we have to get him out of here." Ryan says.
She gently takes a seat next to Will and brushes his hair from his forehead, placing a little kiss there.
"Will," she says softly into his ear and his eyes flutter open.
"Hi," she whispers and Will sits up wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and putting one hand on the small of her back, underneath her hoodie.
"Em," he croaks out, burying his face in her neck.
"I'm here,"
"Can we go home? I'm tired..." Will mumbles
"Yeah, they're gonna take you home," Em says and looks towards Ryan and Gabe.
"I wanna go home with you," Will whines and Em sighs, knowing it's not a good idea. What if he wakes up tomorrow and feels majorly uncomfortable that his friends allowed his ex girlfriend to take him home while he was drunk?
"Trust me Em, he's not budging. He's twice as stubborn as usual when he's drunk. Please just take him home, we'll come get him tomorrow morning." Ryan says and helps Em lift Will off the couch and out the door towards her car.
-
When they get to her apartment, Will strips down to his boxers and gets into the bed, smiling contently when he lies his head down on her fluffy pillows. Everything here smells like her.
Emerson comes into the room a few minutes later, putting a glass of water on the bed side table along with some Advil that she makes Will take.
"Goodnight Will," Em says, kissing his cheek and he grabs her wrist before she can stand.
"Stay, please" Will asks and Emerson hesitates for a second before snuggling in next to him.
"I miss you," Will whispers a few minutes later, arm thrown over her waist, holding her tightly to him.
"I miss you too," Em says, voice shaking as she tries to keep the tears at bay.
The tears eventually fall when Will places a few lazy kisses on her neck before falling asleep with his head on her chest.
Em didn't know what to expect tomorrow morning. Saying goodbye to Will once was hard enough, she really didn't want to do it again.
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recurring-polynya · 2 months
Text
I was cleaning out my WIPs folder a few months ago, and I found the original draft of my Kira-and-Rose-Review-a-Restaurant story. It was nearly complete, and it's not anything earth-shattering, but it's also mildly entertaining, so I thought I would finish it up and send it out into the world. Then, of course, I procrastinated on that for months, but, hey! It's Kira's birthday! Happy birthday, Kira!
(read on ao3)
🍴 🐟 🍶
“Captain,” said Izuru, clutching his folders like a lifeline, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“My companion will have the tekkadon, but he would like the orange sauce on the side,” Captain Outoribashi informed the waiter. He squinted at his lieutenant. “Is that alright? Do you like tekkadon?”
“Er, yes, it’s fine,” Izuru excused. “Sir, when you said we could go over these budget requests over dinner, I thought we would go to a ramen stand or something. This is far too--”
Rose waved a hand. “It’s covered, don’t worry about it.”
Izuru chewed the inside of his cheek while his new captain continued to order a rather frightening amount of food. The waiter seemed to be taking all this in stride.
Captain Outoribashi couldn’t be more different than Captain Gin, he kept reminding himself. Rose was elegant and mannered, and was trying very, very hard to make everyone in Squad Three feel comfortable and welcome. He also had absolutely gorgeous waves of shining hair, velvety purple eyes that you could just fall into, and amazing taste in absolutely everything. Izuru would never have assumed in a million years that his captain would have any sort of… interest in someone like him, and yet, here they were. In a fancy restaurant. After work hours.
“Sir,” he started again, when the server had left. “It’s not about the money-- well, also, I feel you may have been misinformed, it’s true that I come from a noble family, but, uh… not a very well-funded one. It’s, just, er… I feel that a captain and a vice-captain should have a very professional relationship, you see, and this place is rather upscale, and I feel like you’ve gotten the wrong idea--”
Rose blinked at him. “You’re friends with Lieutenant Hisagi, no?”
Izuru’s cheeks colored. “Well, yes, sir, we’ve known each other since our school days.”
“He didn’t tell you?”
Izuru felt all the blood in his body fall down into his feet. “Tell me… what?”
“Well,” said Captain Outoribashi, with a sneaky smile on his face. “One of the first things I realized upon my return to Soul Society was that old curmudgeon Kyouraku Kenji had retired and that the restaurant review column had been vacant for nearly three years!”
“Wait, what?” Kira sputtered.
“According to your friend,” Rose rambled on, “His former captain felt that the column was elitist or somesuch and didn’t want to continue it, but what could be more egalitarian than communicating the rapture of fine dining to the masses? I thought I was going to need to lean on my good friend Kensei for a little old-fashioned favoritism, but Lieutenant Hisagi was perfectly willing to hand me the post, can you believe it? I assumed he might have mentioned it to you, you’re also a Bulletin contributor, are you not?”
“You’re here to review this restaurant?” Kira managed to get out.
Rose put an elegant finger to his lips. “Shh! We’re supposed to be secretive about it, but I refuse to use a nom de plume, so I am sure we’ll be quite infamous before long.”
“'We'?” Izuru echoed.
“Well, I need to try as many dishes as possible,” Rose mused. “I have to bring companions. You had a noble upbringing, so I’m sure your palate is quite sophisticated. And you’re a writer! I hope you don’t mind, but I was already planning on blatantly stealing any particularly clever turns of phrase that pass your lips.”
Kira felt frozen absolutely solid. Why did his captains always have to be so interested in him? Why couldn’t he get an icy asshole like Kuchiki who would forget he even existed whenever he was out of eyesight, or a battleax like the Kenpachi, who would just break his arms first thing in the morning? Who was he kidding? He knew very well he wouldn’t last ten minutes in Squad Eleven before someone ran his underwear up a flagpole.
Rose’s face fell. “If you’re not interested, just say so. I’m sorry for presuming. Do you happen to know anyone who likes fine dining? Kensei has excellent taste in cuisine, but he dislikes ambience, and you can’t take Hirako anywhere. Beyond that, I’m afraid I’ve fallen out of touch with many of my old acquaintances.”
No! Kira scolded himself. He has offered you a reasonable boundary and you can just say no. Say no, Izuru. Say it. Just because he’s lonely doesn’t mean it’s your job to be his friend. You’re his lieutenant and that’s all you have to be.
“An assortment of shiokara,” the waiter returned, setting a tray on the table holding a number of sampler bowls. “And your sake.”
“Do you like shiokara?” Rose asked, gesturing at the pots of fermented fish before picking up the sake. “Also, do you drink?” he asked belatedly. “I love it, but only with shots.”
“Ah, same,” Kira finally managed. “I tend to think of it as bar food, though, I’m a little bit skeptical of the artisan nonsense from the menu.” It was out of his mouth before he even thought about it-- you’re not at the izakaya with Hisagi and Abarai!! he reminded himself.
“Oh, Kira, you cannot say something like that and then refuse to give me your opinion on the finished product!” Rose sighed. “Please, just help me with this first review! I’ll…” he frowned. “I don’t know what you like. I’ll let you pick the music we listen to in the office for a whole week.”
Kira had already experienced the horror of Rose’s automatic music player that he had brought back from the World of the Living. “Er, that’s okay,” he replied. “I don’t really know any of the music you have. It’s probably better if you pick.” He grabbed a bite of firefly squid with his chopsticks. “I’m here, might as well.”
Rose’s face glowed.
---
  “ ‘...I found the dish quite pleasant, although more adventurous diners may find the flavors too subtle. My delightful dining companion, a man of culture and manners, proclaimed that ‘you could throw a rock toward Rukongai and hit a bar with better shiokara than this.’”
“Savage,” Rangiku declared.
Momo slammed her Bulletin down on the table. “How did you convince him to let you go along? I wish my captain took me to fancy restaurants!”
“Who says it was me?” Izuru frowned, sipping his sake. “I don’t think it ever said the guy’s name. It could have been anyone.”
“Later on, he says that you described the rosewater agar agar as ‘smelling like your great- aunt’s house,’" Renji pointed out dryly, "which is the same thing you said about that facial cream Yumichika tried to get you to use."
"Why do you pay attention to things like that?" Izuru griped.
"Because he took it very personally and complained to me for a month about it!"
"Anyway," Shuuhei broke in, "Captain Outoribashi told me it was you. He wanted to make sure you got your co-author stipend." He jerked his chin. "He said he wasn't sure if you were going to keep doing it with him."
Izuru shrugged. "It was sort of by accident that I ended up going anyway."
"Well, if you don't want to, tell him that I like going to fancy restaurants," Rangiku offered.
"I think it's a nice opportunity to get to know your new captain!" Momo announced. "But if you really don't want to, I also like going to fancy restaurants."
"I also think you should do it," Renji said. "I don't care about fancy restaurants, but that was the funniest restaurant review I've ever read. Captain Kuchiki thought it was hilarious, too, by the way."
"He what," said Izuru.
"He chuckled softly and shook his head," Renji translated.
Izuru had to take a minute to process that one.
"Also, that sweet, sweet co-author stipend," Shuuhei pointed out.
Izuru glared at him.
"Look, it's too soon to have more than anecdotal feedback, but my editorial instincts tell me this column is going to be a big hit. You and Captain Outoribashi have rapport, Izuru! Chemistry!"
Izuru frowned, deeply. "He's my boss, Hisagi, and he's only been that for three weeks. All I want with him is an appropriate work relationship with healthy and firmly respected boundaries."
"How about a 10,000 kan per month dining budget?" Shuuhei replied, and took a shot of sake. "Alcohol permitted."
"Oh," said Izuru. "Well. Maybe that, too."
~
If you enjoyed this, maybe you'd like to read their review of the Seireitei Waffle Hut?
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