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madamewriterofwrongs · 4 years

Note

ooh for the july prompt list can you do 28 + buddie

For you, darling, anything!

July Prompt List

28. “Just by existing and by letting me speak to you, you give me an immense amount.”

Without Question

“No, no, I’m serious, Eddie.” Buck let his beer slosh over the coffee table as he emphatically pointed at his best friend. He could clean up later; there were more important things happening at the moment. “You, need to get laid.”

On the carpet across from him, Eddie threw his head back in a groan of frustration. “Not this again, Buck, I told you.” He had, in fact, told Buck three times since arriving and subsequently leaving the bar with their friends, but it bared repeating. “I am not interested in hook-ups. I need a relationship – with someone Christopher would approve of.” At least, Eddie hoped that’s what he said (words were a bit fuzzy in his head at the moment). “I don’t need to get laid; I need to get married.”

That seemed to sober Buck just a little, his mouth drooping downwards. “You’re ready to get married again?”

Eddie found himself doing his best impression of that singing bass (weren’t brains funny at 3am?), thinking of the right answer. “No. Yes? Maybe. I hadn’t really thought about it but yeah” he eventually decided. “If I’m going to put myself out there again, it’s going to be with someone I can see a future with.”

“How are you supposed to know that on a first date?” Very good question, Buck. Eddie’s face scrunched in on itself as he sought the answer.

“I don’t know that I know what it would look like to meet that person.” Buck’s eyes were really blue when his face was red from too much alcohol. They were like an ocean in a storm. What?

“Okay.” Buck slammed his bottle onto the coffee table with so much force, it shattered their eardrums but he was already crawling to his feet.

He was halfway into the kitchen when Eddie finally realized that Buck was gone and called out “where did you go?”

Suddenly Buck was back where he started (had he even left?) throwing himself to the ground, now with a pen and a piece of what looked like old mail. “That looks important.”

“This is important-er” Buck insisted, leaning his weight against the edge of the table, giving his full attention to the paper stuffed under his forearm. “We’re going to figure this out.”

“Figure what out?”

Buck rolled his eyes and nearly hit his head on the table in the process. Should they really be doing this now? Well, if not now, then when?

“We’re going to figure out the perfect person for you” he declared with the confidence of a man who would have a splitting headache and a few bruises in the morning.

“You have a rolodex of every person on the planet that we can go through?” Eddie scoffed, taking another ill-advised drink.

Buck stared at Eddie too long for either of them to properly see straight, eyes forced wide before he inevitably fell asleep. “A rolodex? What are you, fifty?” Before he could process Buck’s words, they were moving on. “No, we’re going to write down exactly what you’re looking for in a partner, so that when you do meet someone, you’ll know they’re the one.”

Seemed reasonable enough. Buck was so smart sometimes, but sometimes he was an idiot (like that time he tried to pet a dog after they found it covered in – what they thought at the time was – blood. It turned out to be ketchup from where his owner had collapsed from a heart attack in the middle of making lunch). Buck was probably the dumbest smart person he knew. But in a really smart way.

“Okay.” Eddie leaned forward to match his friend’s position across the coffee table. “What’s first?”

Buck squinted at the paper, waiting for it to reveal its secrets. Just as quickly, he perked up and began to scribble.

“Number one: good looking.”

Eddie scoffed, wiping his spit from the table with his sleeve. “Why is that the first thing on the list?”

“Because” Buck drew out emphatically. “The whole goal is to get you laid. If you don’t find them attractive, then this whole experiment is for not.”

It was Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes so hard he felt dizzy. “Now who’s fifty?”

In lieu of a response, Buck went back to his scribbling. “Number two: they have to love Christopher.”

“That is an absolute must.” Anyone he was with had to love Christopher the way Buck did – with his whole heart. He really was a great person.

“Three: someone who understands your schedule. Being a firefighter is not a 9-5 thing; they have to be prepared for late nights and crazy danger.” Buck’s face twisted as he wrote, into something Eddie recognized as hurt. It took him a little longer to realize why that sadness was marring that pretty face. He slowly reached out a hand to touch his wrist. Buck shouldn’t feel like he was alone, or that Ali leaving was his fault. He deserved to know that there was someone who wanted to be with him – despite the schedules and the dangers. His eyes really were so perfectly blue; even when they were starring at him hopefully. Especially then.

Eddie opened his mouth but nothing came out so he closed it again, hoping the lack of oxygen would help him remember. He didn’t remove his hand right away.

Buck spent the next forty minutes emphatically telling Eddie exactly what his ideal person would be, with Eddie adding commentary here and there to make sure Buck got the wording right (maybe, things were still a bit hazy).

At the end of everything, there were ten items on the list. Ten items for the perfect partner for Eddie. Now all he had to do was find that person. He stared at Buck, proudly handing Eddie the paper for him to tuck into his back pocket, and something of a smile rose to his lips. Finding that person would be the easy part, thought Drunk Eddie. All he had to do was remember the list and even his sober counter-part (as obtuse as he was – excellent word choice, Drunk Eddie) would able to figure it out.

Just to be sure, Eddie waited until Buck stumbled towards the bathroom for the third time, before he retrieved the list from his back pocket and added an eleventh item.

There. Easy as pie.

Thoughts of delicious, sugar-filled pastries, had Eddie stumbling up the stairs to the master bathroom. Why did he think getting drunk at Hen’s birthday party was a good idea? He was not in his twenties anymore. This shit had consequences.

Of course, he expected those consequences to be a massive hangover and some second-hand embarrassment (which he did have). What he wasn’t expecting, was to wake up with his arm around the waist of a half-naked Buck.

Well that was new.

The soft smile on his face as he watched Buck’s even breathing, so calm and safe, was also…not that new. Certainly not one he’d ever experienced while sleeping shirtless in his best friend’s bed, obviously; but being happy that Buck was peaceful and all right was something Eddie experienced on a daily basis.

He carefully pulled his arm away from that – surprisingly soft – abdomen, and rolled onto his back as naturally as he could without waking the other man. If Buck woke up to them cuddling like that, there might need to be a discussion about why he felt so comfortable like that; and morning afters were not the time for existential wanderings.

Not that this was a ‘morning after’. It was the morning after a night of heavy drinking and clearly neither of them were fit to drive, let alone sleep on the couch without hurting themselves. Buck’s bed was big enough for two grown men to rest comfortably (not that they seemed to be using half of the space) so it made sense that they would share.

Yup, perfectly reasonable. Anything else – like his heart beating out of his chest with longing – was just an aftershock of the abhorrent amount of alcohol they’d consumed.

Who thought any of that was a good idea?

Oh right. Christopher was away at camp and Buck had dragged him to Hen’s birthday party; where she’d loudly declared that for one damn night, she wanted to celebrate everything she’d accomplished with her closest friends, consequences be damned. Which, of course, meant that several rounds of tequila shots were ordered in honor of the birthday girl. He vaguely recalled Karen getting exasperatedly drunk beside her wife, which encouraged Eddie to drink his loneliness away. Which seemed to have led back to Buck’s apartment.

There were definitely some dots missing there.

Namely, why he’d let himself sleep in his jeans but not his shirt (in Buck’s bed!).

Before he could even attempt to make connections, the body beside him began to stir, and the peaceful rest on Buck’s face soured into disgruntled pain.

“What died in my mouth?” He chewed on the words as they left his lips, leaving Eddie to dodge a few flailing limbs as Buck returned to the living. A few more scrapes of his tongue against his teeth seemingly had Buck satisfied that he wouldn’t get the taste out of his mouth without help, so he rolled over to check the time on his phone, only to find a body in the way.

“Eddie?” he groaned against the morning light through his window. “What are you doing here?”

The firefighter tried to shake his head but found it only made his stomach protest harder than it had been already. “We are too old to be drinking this much” he hoarsely declared.

Buck’s reply was swallowed by his retreating form as he stumbled towards the bathroom to empty the contents of his bad decision. Eddie let his head fall back against the pillow, the only sounds in the apartment becoming Buck’s retching, and Eddie’s painful decision to forget everything about last night.

Stumbling through the door of his bedroom a few hours later (Buck had insisted on taking him out for a greasy breakfast before dropping him off at home), Eddie had just enough mental energy to toss his clothes vaguely near the hamper before jumping in the shower and then straight to bed. He had never been so grateful for a day off in his life.

Much like the night before, Eddie remembered very little of the day he slept away; those 24 hours became a blip in the string of time that carried no real significance in his life and was happily forgotten.

When doing laundry a few days later, he did find a piece of Buck’s mail folded into the back pocket of his jeans. So, he tossed it onto the ever-growing pile of things on his dining room table colloquially called ‘things that need to be returned to Buck’s eventually’, and thought nothing of it.

It would be another month before Eddie thought about the letter or the night that time forgot.

Hosting random get-togethers for the firefighters and paramedics of the 118 (along with their families, of course) was practically a bi-weekly tradition at this point. Whoever was available would offer their space, and everyone was welcomed in, bringing food and drinks and games. It was one of Eddie’s favourite things about being a part of the 118: the inherent companionship. He had never been a part of anything where it was just assumed that he would have a babysitter, or someone to barbeque for two dozen people in his backyard, or drive him to the hospital when his grandmother broke her hip. No matter what was going on, they could always rely on each other.

He loved the family he’d built at the 118.

So what if he was a little lonely sometimes; he was never alone and that was just as good. Still, maybe it was time for him to put himself out there again. The idea of dating – of random hookups and dead-end dinners – felt exhausting (and not at all what he needed). What else could he do, though?

Luckily, it was his turn to host, so no matter how he was feeling, it would soon be replaced with joy and contentment and laughter. But first, he needed to clean up.

As was tradition, Eddie grabbed the pile of things on his table lovingly titled ‘things that should get back to Buck’s but likely never will’ and shoved them onto his bed until their guests had left for the evening. One of these days, he would remember to tell Buck about all the things of his that had accumulated at the Diaz house over the years (a spare charger, a hat, a few bits of mail he would bring over when he was helping Eddie with tax season – or Eddie was helping him, they weren’t really sure). Small things that might not be missed, but also a spare tooth brush, a pair of sweatpants, and a book he’d only ever seen Buck read at his dining room table while Christopher did his homework.

Maybe he should just get Buck a drawer for his things and then he wouldn’t have to lug it around every time he had company over.

The doorbell rang, sending Eddie sprinting to throw everything onto his bed so he could answer the door in a timely manner.

He loved having a full house. It made everything feel lived in. Sure, he strived to ensure that Christopher’s room (and any room his son spent a lot of time in) was warm and inviting. But there was something about 20 people crammed into the small sections of his house, filling the air with love, that made his house feel like home.

It also meant that there was a mess everywhere. He really didn’t mind it – part of having a big family was accepting that there would be a mess sometimes. With so many little ones running around, however (especially one who wasn’t so steady on his feet), it was best to keep the floors and corners tidy as much as possible.

That was when Eddie noticed a folded-up piece of paper on the floor of the hallway leading to his bedroom. It must have been a some of Buck’s mail that fell when he ran to get the door. An easy enough fix. Curiously, he unfolded the paper for the first time, just to see if it was something important.

Just a flier for some new gym Buck was on the mailing list for. Nothing special.

He turned it over to see the writing on the back, expecting contact info for a trainer or something equally relevant.

1. Someone good looking (you have to want to bone them or it’s all for not don’t make fun of me for using that phrase it’s rude)

He recognized Buck’s messy handwriting straight away. What he couldn’t remember was why he’d written some sort of list on the back.

2. Someone who loves Christopher (obviously that kid is your whole world so he has to be theirs too)

Okay, so this had something to do with Christopher, it probably had something to do with Eddie, too.

3. Someone who understands your schedule/lifestyle (your job is important to you and you need someone who gets that)

Eddie stared at the page, memories of too much tequila and not enough inhibitions flooded back to him.

4. Someone who will make you a priority (you need to make you a priority too you know)

Buck had written him a list of things he should be looking for in a partner, that much he remembered now. The commentary scrawled beside the list, however, was new.

5. Someone kind (you’re so kind you need someone whose just as kind and appreciates your kindness because you’re so kind)

Eddie found himself dragging his feet towards the sounds of people, eyes still glued to the page.

6. Someone smart (not like a doctor or anything but you have to be able to hold a conversation obviously)

He’d laid it out so simply that night; told Eddie exactly the type of person who would make him happy. How could Buck know that?

7. Someone loyal (you deserve someone as loyal as you Eddie you stick by people even when they’re awful jerks who almost screwed up the best thing they ever had)

Eddie couldn’t breathe, head buzzing with the sincerity in Buck’s words, even sloppily written on the back of a flier.

8. Someone who makes you laugh (I wish you could laugh more I like your laugh)

Someone called out to him – maybe the real Buck – but he was trapped in the memories of this world of possibilities.

9. Someone who can read you (not read to you idiot you need someone who knows what your face means because you don’t always say things out loud but you do say a lot)

The new voice was in front of him now, reaching out to him, trying to pull him to the present, but he refused to leave.

10. Someone who makes you feel safe (you make me feel safe)

And there it was; the list of qualities for Eddie’s perfect partner. The person who he could marry – because he remembered telling Buck that he wanted someone he could marry (that’s where the list had originated). It seemed an impossible task to find someone who fit all ten items on the list.

And yet.

Underneath it all, Eddie recognized his own handwriting, as messy as it was. The note he’d written himself so Sober Eddie would remember who it was that fit every criterion.

11. Someone who’ll stay

When he finally found the strength to raise his eyes to meet the real Buck’s, he was breathless all over again. The concern, the absolute care on his face, tipped Eddie over the edge.

“It’s you.”

Buck ducked his head but didn’t physically retreat; he was still so close, all-encompassing – the same way he’d ingratiated himself into the Diaz family long ago.

“What’s me?”

Wordless, Eddie presented the list for Buck to read. He watched the journey of emotions play through like a slideshow from confusion, to embarrassment, to realization, to confusion once again, mixed with painfully unending hope.

“I didn’t mean me when I wrote this.”

How had he not seen it before? How could Eddie have been so blind?

“But I do.” His eyes really were like the ocean, weren’t they. Even sober, he could stare into them forever.

“Marry me?”

Buck’s chest expanded with the weight of Eddie’s question, eyes wide in a disbelief that made him feel giddy; knowing Buck was just as stunned by these turn of events as he was. The fact that neither of them had run away screaming in horror, had to be a good sign.

“What the hell is going on?”

In hindsight, Eddie should have known better than to have his earth-shattering realization in front of their friends and family. Everyone was too nosey for their own good. Just because he’d suddenly proposed to Buck despite the fact that they were not dating.

He’d just proposed to Buck despite the fact that they weren’t dating.

Athena called out to the boys again when neither answered. “Does someone want to clue me in?”

Buck turned back to Eddie, a calm smile on his face – the same peace that he’d had when they were lying in bed together (visions of memorizing his sleeping face filled his hope to the brim).

“Eddie and I are getting married.” Buck spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear, but his announcement was just for Eddie. The only word he had left to describe his beating heart was ‘disbelief’.

He’d just proposed to Buck despite the fact that they weren’t dating. And he’d said yes.

He should be more panicked. He should run away screaming. Ask to take it all back. What the hell was he thinking? Asking his best friend to marry him because of a list that seemed too good to be true. Just because Buck ticked every box that said they were perfect for each other. Just because Buck wanted him back, just as deliriously.

How could he not embrace it all?

The noises that erupted from their family was drowned out by the thrumming of his heart when Buck pulled him in for a kiss punctuated by the infectious laughter bubbling in his chest.

The list floated to the floor as Eddie wrapped both arms around his fiancé (holy shit, he had a fiancé), to be retrieved after everyone had gone home. Buck and Eddie would talk about everything – sit Christopher down with them to make sure he was as happy as he seemed as well – and the list would eventually make its way to their bedside table.

On their first anniversary, Eddie would present it to Buck in a frame, and they would hang it in their bedroom as a reminder of the night their drunken selves figured out what it took them years to discover.

Their perfect partner.

#cj writes things #cj answers things #prompt fill #buddie #buddie fic #911 fox #911 fic #love allie #getting together #love confession #maysgrant

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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years

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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

#smadhuman being pure af #bay answers #long post #very long post #ask #asks

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telekinsesis · 4 years

Text

"🎭The Masked Autistic Quiz🎭

If you’ve spent your life ‘faking normal, you might not look autistic to the casual observer. So I’ve made a questionnaire that’s tailored to the masking autistic adult.

#ActuallyAutistic #AllAutistics"

1. Have you ever felt as if you were missing the built-in instruction manual that everyone else seemed to possess?

Yes. I had to slowly learn how basic things worked while others seemed to instinctively get it.

Did you spend an inordinate amount of time learning to copy the behavior of other kids so that they wouldn’t realize you were different?

Yes. I always just wanted to fit in and have friends and be liked, but I always felt different than them.

2. Are you able to make eye contact, but would much rather NOT make eye contact? Have you taught yourself to ‘cheat’ by looking between the eyes or at the eyebrow? Does eye contact make it harder to think clearly?

I can't handle eye contact for longer than a couple of seconds. Most of the time I find a way to avoid it, I can only remember doing it in stare contests with my sister or for comedic purposes.

3. When you’re alone do you make random noises or repeat interesting words to yourself? Do you move your hands or feet because staying still feels ‘wrong?’ Bonus points if you do this around other people.

I'm always shaking/bouncing my leg. Sometimes I hold my breath for no reason or find myself making involuntary noises with my throat. Every once in a while I also say random things.

4. Do people refer to you as a ’space cadet’ or a ‘day-dreamer’, even though those terms make no sense to you? Do you appreciate unusual things like constellations in the popcorn ceiling, tricks of light, numbers and textures?

I am always daydreaming or spacing out, I would be more called out for it as a teen than I am now. / I don't find those things unusual but I love noticing them and the little details about it, I do appreciate it.

5. Do your anxiety levels spike when there is a change of plans, or when somebody calls, rings a doorbell or sends an email/text? Do people perceive you as rude and antisocial for being unappreciative of their surprise attacks?

Yes, yes, yes. Unless it's someone I deeply trust (sometimes not even then though), sudden changes of plans or routine upset and stress the hell out of me. Phone calls can give me anxiety and sometimes I need a lot of time to reply to a simple text.

6. Do you have a hard time understanding why people feel the way they do without a personal point of reference? Are you able to relate much more once you’ve tied their experience to something that’s happened to you?

I can't remember or realize if I do, but I do know that I'm better at "empathizing (?)" when I relate to the situation in one way or another. My closest friends are people I share similar experiences/feelings with and we can get each other.

7. Do people jokingly call you ‘OCD’ for your organizational strategies or list making, even though there are perfectly rational reasons for your behavior? Does this ‘obsessive’ behavior also bring you a sense of calm and order when you’re allowed to see it though to completion?

Not really, but my sister who's a psychologist thinks I have "obsessive/compulsive traits" or whatever because of how often I wash my hands. I also enjoy organizing my saved files, even if it takes me hours, and feel much better when they are.

8. Do you have social anxiety, but only because you have a hefty track record of rejection due to missed social cues, difficulty navigating conversations and an inability to understand what other people are thinking?

I have been diagnosed with social and generalized anxiety but I don't know why, it's just my brain. I do remember it starting/getting worse when I got to high school, around the same time my depression kicked in.

9. Do you avoid places because of the overwhelming noise, visual clutter, bright lights or overwhelming smells? Do you avoid busy stores and do your shopping when things aren’t as busy?

I don't go out a lot overall, I like staying home better. I don't know the exact reason why and when I go out it's hardly ever to packed loud places because I'm very introverted, but I also hate when people talk too loudly 90% of the time.

10. Do you have a built-in ‘BS detector’ and despise playing along with things that infantilize you? Have people said you’re ‘not a team player’ for complaining about pointless gift exchanges or parties? Do you need to understand the purpose of a task?

Yes. I don't complain but I don't participate either, again, I'm very anxious and introverted so unless I feel comfortable with those people, I don't like socializing much. I don't remember ever doing tasks without purpose, I don't think they exist in the first place, everything has a purpose.

11. When you get happy and excited, do people say you’re ‘too much’ or tell you to calm down? Are you unusually animated when genuinely excited, yet find it hard to fake this enthusiasm on demand for others?

When I'm in a good mood, I'm in a good mood. When I was younger and participated in things I was passionate about I would get told to tone it down and be less "loud" or "annoying" because the way I expressed my excitement was too extra. I found it easier to blend in and calm myself externally after called out.

12. Do you feel so closely connected to your hobbies that you can blissfully engage in them for hours and have a hard time stopping for anything else? Does losing interest in them make you feel as if you’ve lost a part of yourself?

Yes, definitely, yes.

13. Is driving a stressful and exhausting experience for you? Do you tend to take the same familiar route every time and even go so far as to avoid stressful intersections and fast highways? Do you struggle making quick decisions behind the steering wheel?

I don't drive.

14. Do you feel as if you relate to animals more than other people? As a child, did you secretly suspect that you were from another planet or species than that of your classmates? When meeting someone similar to yourself, do you feel like you’re ‘home’, so to speak?

I relate more to cats than people I know. I still do, even though I rationally know it's impossible, kinda. It's not very often but yes.

15. Do you abhor the idea of making conversation with people who share nothing in common with you? Would you happily go out of your comfort zone to talk with others about a shared hobby or passion?

My classmates gave me anxiety but I would talk for hours with one of my sister's friends because she liked classic movies too.

16. Do people assume you’re angry at them when you’re not? Do you smile or laugh inappropriately, upsetting others? Have people told you that you have a ‘resting bitch face’?

I have been asked multiple times if I was okay or if I was sad when I was nothing of the sort, but maybe I was simply depressed? I remember laughing and then realizing it wasn't a good moment but I don't remember it happening a lot or why I did it.

17. Do you have an unusually monotonous or singsong voice? Do you have a hard time modulating your volume and speak with inappropriate volume for the situation?

I don't know, I don't think so but I constantly do get called out for not speaking clearly or mumbling or talking too low or fast even when I think I'm being clear or think it's possible to understand me regardless.

18. Have you purposely chosen interests that fly under the radar as ‘normal’, yet you still prefer to enjoy peripheral aspects of that interest, such as studying the stats of baseball players or making elaborate backstories for your Barbie dolls?

As a kid I would create novelas around my Barbie dolls, when I made pillow forts with my friends I would create dramatic/tragic stories and wanted to act them out with them. Currently I don't "choose" interests or care about how "normal" they appear, I'm just naturally invested in things.

19. Do you find it inordinately difficult to listen to someone when other people are talking? Do you have a hard time carrying on a conversation in a loud or crowded place?

I don't know but I don't think so, when a person is loud enough I can hear them over other noises, even if it's by a little. Again, I don't usually go to loud or crowded places so I can't remember.

20. Do emotions and sensory overload build up into a thunderstorm of rage that you have no choice but to ride out until it passes? This might be a meltdown. Alternately, does the buildup result in you retreating from the world and ‘zoning out’? This would be a ‘shutdown’.

Yes.

21. While not officially criteria, this is something that many autistics will relate to: Do gender, romantic and sexuality norms seem arbitrary and fake? Even if you don’t identify as LGBTQ+, do you hesitate when referring to yourself as cisgender or heterosexual?

I'm a lesbian that questions her sexuality at times and have no idea what my gender is, I just know I'm not cis.

22. Have you developed coping mechanisms such as lists, schedules, stacks of paper, alarms and reminders to help you function as an adult? Would you still be able to get by without them?

I'm currently not doing anything that requires me functioning like an adult and don't remember what I did when I had to but I would never be able to be an adult.

23. Do you go through periods where you can’t even remember how to make dinner or get ready for work, and even the easiest of tasks seem insurmountable because you can’t fathom completing the steps to completion?

I don't forget how to do things but I can forget to do them or it's almost impossible to bring myself to physically do them.

24. Do you find it easier to do things when they’re a passion or ‘special interest’? Were you good at cooking/gardening/organizing when it was interesting, but find it impossible to start once the passion has abandoned you?

Always. I have abandoned many projects once I lost interest even if I was somewhat good at it at the start.

25. Do you have a hard time recognizing or remembering faces? While not all autistics are ‘face blind’ many of us are.

I don't think there are many faces I need to recognize or remember, and I have a shitty memory anyway so I don't know.

26. Is keeping and maintaining relationships difficult for you, even if you’re loyal to them? Do you suddenly remember a good friend or relative that you literally forgot about for months or years? Is it hard to initiate conversations without a prompt, even with friends?

Yes. If I'm close and trust them, it's not hard to text them first but I don't always know what to exactly say or talk about.

27. Lastly, do you get emotional and feel ‘seen’ when reading the above tweets and other content by autistics? There might be a reason for that.

I do some and most times, but I don't wanna assume things.

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gumnut-logic · 5 years

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Gentle Rain (Part Six)

Title: Gentle Rain

Warm Rain Series

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Author: Gumnut

24 - 26 Jan 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: Sometimes it is so gentle, you don’t realise it is happening.

Word count: 2937

Spoilers & warnings: Virgil/Kayo, Scott/OC, spoilers for Warm Rain up to this point in the timeline.

Timeline: Six months after ‘The Proposal’, almost a sequel.

Author’s note: For @scribbles97 I had so much fun with this one sitting on my back porch on a gorgeous sunny day. Many thanks to both Scribbs and @the-lady-razorsharp for help on this bit. Also for @vegetacide for some plotwork we did for further into the story. Next chapter is half written and I’m still having fun :D I hope you enjoy this fic that has a mind of its own.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

It was like some kind of daydream caught in a whirlwind.

The week had passed with medical consultations and chats with Scott over the network. His eyes lit up when he smartly inquired about Kayo asking her to Tracy Island.

“So you coming?” Was that expression hopeful?

“I’m considering it.” She bit back a grin. Why should she make it easy?

His eyes narrowed at her. “What could I offer to entice you?”

“Oh, you’d like to entice me, would you, flyboy?”

He really did have a beautiful smile. “I think I could.”

“Then entice away.”

He posed thoughtfully. “Now what would a gorgeous looking young woman like yourself find attractive on a tropical island. Let me think.” He tapped his lips with a finger.

She choked on a laugh. “Really?”

He held up a finger as if struck by a thought. “Marshmallows. We have the biggest, fluffiest marshmallows in the Southern Hemisphere. Absolutely delicious roasted over a slow fire.” He licked his lips.

Her eyes almost fell out of her head. “Scott Tracy, you are a flirt.”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

“And brazen about it.”

“Do you mind?”

That brought her up short, but she didn’t hesitate. “I think I can handle it.” And she was grinning.

His voice dropped an octave. “Good.”

She shivered.

Wow.

She still got one over him. He never did find out if she was coming to visit or not. She held him at arms length the entire week, taunting him.

He seemed to enjoy it.

Kayo picked up the game and swore Virgil to secrecy. Virgil threw up his hands and refused to be drawn in to any of it. The fact he was called out to a rescue two minutes later aided and abetted her little conspiracy.

Scott left the hospital two days before she did. Now it was her turn and she found herself aboard the Tracys’ private jet, all leather and luxury. Virgil was flying while Kayo attended to her, and it was just the three of them flying over the stark red brown landscape of the Australian Outback.

She had luggage, a new hoverscoot, and a belly full of butterflies. There were popular rumours about where exactly Tracy Island was and what you would find if you ever managed to actually get there. Mansions, a secret city…heh, one website claimed Tracy Island was on the other side of a wormhole somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. Another claimed it was easy to find by tracking birdlife.

Em didn’t really know what to think. The concept of a tropical island was steeped in stereotypes in any case. Perhaps palm trees would be present. The rest was likely up for grabs.

Kayo sat opposite her, occasionally looking at her with just a touch of concern. Em hadn’t said much since they had left Perth airport and she probably looked terrified.

For crying out loud, you’re a fully qualified professional, you’ve faced down much more in your life than a family of billionaires. Hell, she once stared down a patient holding a knife in her face. She was Em Bloody Harris, stop being such a wimp.

A little focus and a little spine.

She straightened and Kayo looked up. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, thank you.” Conversation. “Are you all pilots?” A frown. “Do you fly?”

A small smile crept across Kayo’s face. “Yes, and I most certainly do. Though I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of my Thunderbird.”

Em’s eyes widened. “You pilot a Thunderbird? Which one?”

“Thunderbird Shadow.”

The Thunderbirds were well known across the world as angels of mercy. They appeared at the most desperate moments, often long before any other rescue organisation could possibly have made it. There was the grey, blue and red rocket plane, the green behemoth that nursed all the equipment, a red rocket, a yellow submarine and the Voice Who Answered. There was also rumour of another plane, but sightings were rare and little was known about it. Em’s eyes widened. “You’re the ghost Thunderbird.”

The smile widened just a touch. “You could say that. We take our security very seriously.”

“Yet you’ve invited me.”

Kayo raised an eyebrow. “You checked out.”

It was hard to work out how to feel about that.

“Em, I don’t invite on whim. I thought you would like to visit and I know I will enjoy your company. The background check was just procedure.”

Em dropped her voice to a harsh whisper. “Please don’t tell them. They don’t need to know.”

She could tell by the security specialist’s reaction that she knew exactly what she was talking about. Equally quiet. “They won’t hear it from me.”

“I don’t blame International Rescue. It wasn’t your fault. The only one deserving blame was the bastard who caused it all. I hope he rots in hell.”

“He is.”

Em stared at her. “He’s dead?”

Kayo’s expression was horribly cold. “Yes.”

“How?”

“Classified.”

Blink. “Okay.” She swallowed. “I hope he suffered.”

The other woman didn’t answer, but something sad flickered briefly over her face.

“It is awfully quiet in here. Should I be worried? You two aren’t plotting a mutiny or anything, I hope.”

It was like a switch had been flicked. Kayo’s expression changed completely, smiling up at Virgil as he entered the cabin. “No need for a mutiny, love. I have plenty of other ways to get what I want.”

Virgil didn’t quite roll his eyes, walking past to grab a drink from the fridge. “Can I get you anything?” He waved a bottle of water in their general direction.

“No, thank you.” They chorused together.

Virgil looked back over his shoulder. “Do you have any idea how creepy that sounds?”

Em bit her lip, but couldn’t help parroting the sweet innocent smile Kayo sent her fiancé’s way.

His gaze darted back and forth between them, more alarmed by the moment. “Okay, I’ll just be upfront piloting the plane. Don’t summon the devil by accident.” And he stepped smartly back into the cockpit.

Em turned to Kayo to find the woman fighting back a grin. Em’s lips twisted as their eyes locked. A heartbeat and they both burst out laughing.

-o-o-o-

“Skies are clear, winds 20kph and from the south. You are cleared to land, Tracy Two.”

Through the open patio doors, John could hear the distant engagement of T2’s VTOL. Nowhere near as loud as her Thunderbird sisters, but strong enough to lower her safely onto Thunderbird Two’s runway.

He estimated no more than fifteen minutes before Kayo and their visitor would arrive in the lounge.

Sooner the better before Scott burnt out Thunderbird imPatient’s hover jets with his irrational ‘pacing’.

The slickly repainted hover chair now sported a pale blue-grey chassis with a slash of cherry red and sky blue down each side. The number one had been neatly inscribed in Thunderbird font on both sides. How Virgil had fit it in the last three weeks, John had no idea.

They had been horribly busy. Alan had been forced to take on Thunderbird One much to Scott’s annoyance. They simply could not function without her. As it was, Virgil had been burning most days at both ends, between rescues, hospital visits, and Tracy Industries on top of his regular duties.

They had only just gotten back to rhythm after Virgil’s accident. Now they were a man down yet again for at least another two months, probably more.

At Christmas.

Christmas never failed to increase the need for International Rescue. It was called the silly season for a reason. The collective IQ of the planet appeared to drop around this time of year, regardless of religion. If John could believe in astrology, he might have been inclined to blame the cosmos, but in reality it was often just stupidity.

At the moment he was seriously considering leaving the missing fishing boat caught in a cyclone off Broome, in the north of Western Australia, to the local authorities. They should never have been out, they had received clear warning, and yet had gone out anyway.

But IR’s sensory systems were far more advanced than any other. He had already interfaced with TB5 in an attempt to short cut a location, but the electrical activity in the cyclone denied him a lock at that distance. Thunderbird Two should be able to get a fix on the fishing boat’s transponder within a few hundred kilometres and with TB4 on board she should be able to render any assistance required.

He watched Virgil bring the light jet into land smoothly knowing that in a moment he would have to ask his brother to fly out again.

Gordon was already on his way to the hangar.

And Scott was spinning around in circles.

“You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I can take eight Gs in a spiral dive. This is nothing.”

“Fine, but can you stop anyway?”

His big brother sighed and slowed to a standstill, staring at the toes of his left foot, stuck out awkwardly in front of him.

Over the last hour John had become acutely aware that something was bothering his brother above and beyond his injuries and resultant incapacitation. He had become fidgety, restless and agitated. It was out of character. Scott was a ball of energy at most times, but it was controlled energy, channelled and targeted at need.

Apparently, he had sprung a leak and, like a dropped garden hose, was bouncing around the room, out of control.

“Is there something wrong, Scott?”

“No.” Sharp and abrupt and so obviously a lie, John was almost insulted his brother thought it would work at all.

“Could have fooled me.”

“What?” He was poking distractedly at TB imPatient’s controls. The hoverchair did a sudden donut and backed ungracefully down the steps into the sunken lounge.

“Can you please not kill yourself on my watch. Virgil would be pissed.” That usually meant a pissed Kayo, never a good thing.

It was so much more peaceful in space. In space there was a comms off switch.

-o-o-o-

One minute there was a massive expanse of Pacific Ocean, next an island appeared out of nowhere.

Em stared out of the window at the dual spiked volcanic rock in the middle of blue water. As they drew nearer, she could make out the remains of the volcanic caldera, the hints of coral beneath the lagoon and the house amongst the rocks.

As the jet angled into land, her side of the plane dipped towards the ocean giving her a stunning view of the little island paradise. Knowing the pilot, probably on purpose.

Yes, there were definitely palm trees.

“Wow.”

Kayo smiled at her. “It’s home.”

The runway came into view, lined by palm trees. Em frowned. That didn’t quite look long enough...or wide enough. “K-“

The underside of the plane echoed mechanical movement, and a sudden roar above that of the jet engines started up. Their speed dropped off abruptly and Em felt her stomach shift inside her. The nose of the plane lifted and they descended vertically.

Kayo was watching for her reaction.

Em arched an eyebrow. “So not your average personal jet?”

The other woman smirked a little. “I’m sorry, but you’ll find that the Tracys don’t do ‘average’.” Was that pride? Perhaps just a little?

Em couldn’t help but grin.

Several butterflies were firmly stomped on.

Their speed slowed to almost a standstill as the ground approached, the jet hovering before gently touching down on the tarmac. Then, to her surprise, the jet’s wings folded back on themselves and they taxied between two lines of palm trees towards a cliff face.

She couldn’t quite see from her angle, but it appeared the cliff opened because moments later they were trundling through an entrance.

And past the massive bulk of Thunderbird Two.

She couldn’t help but stare.

“Damn.”

It was whispered, but Em heard it anyway. Kayo was up and out of her seat in the next breath and disappeared into the cockpit without another word.

Em was left to frown a little and stare at the giant green plane as the jet slowed to a stop in its hanger off to one side.

Thunderbird Two was high up on its landing struts, but as their jet came to a halt, there was a rumble of machinery and a chain of green cargo crates trundled past. One labelled with the number four settled beneath the giant green plane and the craft lowered, swallowing the crate whole.

Thunderbird Two was even larger that touch closer.

Kayo entered the cabin once again, her expression annoyed. “Virgil needs to fly out.” It was very clear the woman was not happy. “Some idiot went fishing in a cyclone.”

Virgil Tracy flew Thunderbird Two. It was well known. But now she had met the pilot she had trouble reconciling the kindly man with the gentle baritone, the soft smile and so much expression in his eyes every time he looked at Kayo, with the image of the superhero rescue operative of popular myth. He wasn’t what she expected.

But then a mental image of the saviour wrapped in metal, tossing brickwork with giant claws, as he busted into that hole beneath the collapsed hotel in Perth, flashed up.

Well, Superman did have his Clark Kent.

There was a hiss as Kayo enabled the cabin exit, an apparently automated set of stairs rolling into place. Virgil hurried from the cockpit, flashing her a quick smile before pausing in front of Kayo, his hands landing on her shoulders. Em looked away to give them privacy as he leant down to kiss her.

A whispered ‘fly safe’ and his boots hit the metal stairwell.

Moments later, the hanger was filled with the stirring roar of Thunderbird Two’s engines and she watched as the behemoth taxied out into the daylight. She couldn’t see the runway from where she sat and she had no idea how the huge plane managed on such a narrow tarmac, but seconds later, that roar swelled into a crescendo and the plane around her vibrated with the power being expended as the craft no doubt launched.

As the roar disappeared off into the distance, she looked up to see Kayo still standing at the exit, her back to Em.

“Kayo, are you okay?”

“Fine.” And the woman turned around a smile forced onto her face.

“Yes, Virgil.”

That earned her a glare. “Let’s get off this plane.”

That shut down the conversation. Em tried her best not to take it personally. It was obvious that Kayo wasn’t used to sharing her problems and honestly, it wasn’t any of her business.

Not much was said as Kayo helped her into her hoverscoot. The device was a smaller version of the hoverchair, less bulky now she had no legs to support. It had variable height so she could look a person in the eye if necessary. The harness supported her back, keeping her upright, while the remains of her legs were cushioned with anti-pressure in the small seat. She had chosen to wear what would have been a knee length summer dress today, the convenience of covering up her injury taken to full advantage, her stumps wrapped in soft socks beneath. The sleeveless dress hugged her overall slim figure, and was appropriate for the tropical clime

This was made abundantly apparent the moment she descended the stairs into the hanger. The hanger doors had since closed, the metal structure towering above her. In fact, the entire hanger was massive. But where she would have thought the air should be cool, it was gently warm, perhaps a remnant of the recent exposure to the outside.

Saltwater lingered in the air.

The cavern echoed with smoothly operating machinery. Some kind of automaton was interfacing with the cargo section of their jet and offloading their luggage and in the distance there was more movement of an unknown purpose. Kayo secured the plane before joining her and leading her over to an elevator.

“Gordon left with Virgil, but Scott, John and Alan are upstairs.” Kayo shot her a smile and Em managed to corral the butterflies just a little. “Did Scott ever work out whether you were coming today or not?”

“Heh.” Okay, so she was grinning now. “I strung him along quite nicely. He offered me all kinds of things to get me out here.”

Kayo actually let out a laugh. “Really?”

“I think the last offer was a Lamborghini.” Not that she would ever accept such a thing, it was hilarious to play the man.

“He offered you a Lambo?” A frown. “What colour?”

“Oh, I had a choice. Green or yellow.”

“Hah. Don’t trust him. He’s offering you Virgil or Gordon’s.”

Em’s eyes widened. “Really? You have Lamborghinis?”

Kayo snorted. “They’re boys. Did you expect anything less?”

She thought a moment as the elevator rose. “I don’t know. I never considered luxury in relation to International Rescue.”

The elevator slowed a moment before changing trajectory and travelling up at an angle. The movement was so smooth, her ‘scoot hardly reacted.

“Oh, they work for it, but the boys do have their toys.” Kayo’s smile was infectious.

“I told him I would only consider a blue one.” It had been teasing and off the cuff, but those eyes of his prompted everything.

“Points to you, Em. You picked his colour.”

And the elevator slowed to a smooth stop. She barely had chance to think before the doors opened and Kayo led her into a large lounge area.

Just in time to see Scott Tracy collide with a wall.

-o-o-o-

End Part Six.

Part Seven

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #virgil tracy #scott tracy #kayo kyrano #virgil/kayo #scott/em #scott/oc #warm rain #gentle rain

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scotty-v2-blog · 5 years

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Starting a Blog

So like it says in my description, this is part Accountability journal, and part lifestyle blog. A lot of people start lifestyle blog’s saying “look at how great my life is, you should totally emulate me in every way you can.” This is not that. Life sucks sometimes and mine is no different, this is a lifestyle blog for people who are trying to change their lives. This is about wanting to be better.

In some ways I know my life has been easy and I know it has been better than a lot of people, I have much to be grateful for but I’ve also struggled. I have throughout my life been dismissed and overlooked for various reasons, one of the primary being the fact that I have Mad ADHD, for those of you not familiar, google it. I’ve struggled with basic things like impulse control, focus, and social acceptance for a lot of my life because of this. I was also exposed and quickly became addicted to pornography at the age of 9. I am in recovery from but still working on Binge Eating Disorder and clinical depression. As a result of these and my own actions I found myself behind my peers in every way imaginable growing up. To put it bluntly I was on my best days mediocre, I was a loser, a screwup, an addict, a spaz, a freak and a slacker. By the end of high school I had been abandoned by my friends, had spent my entire education up till that point doing the bare minimum and never achieved anything I felt I could be proud of. I sucked and I knew it. Every year I would make New Years resolutions and every year, I would stick with them for maybe 24 hours, y’all know how it goes. But this was my low point, I was miserable, alone, overweight and struggling just to pass my last classes. I decided I had two paths ahead of me and whichever one I took would be predicated on one thing. Was I a victim of my circumstances, forever doomed to live out life as a nobody, alone and unloved, or could I against all odds break free of this person I had become and change my life, change myself into the person I wanted to be. I decided that 2016 would be my all or nothing year. Either I was in control of my life and could and would change it before the year was over, or I wasn’t. In which case sad as it was to say I was ready to end it. It has been 3 years, in that time I have lost somewhere around 90 lbs, discovered a passion for nutrition and fitness, served a two year mission for my faith, learned a second language fluently, started attending college and gotten a girlfriend who I love. My life is not where I want it to be, I still struggle with pornography though it was in recovery for a while it has reared it’s ugly head once more. Even though I work hard to stay in and continue to improve my physical condition I have had injuries and setbacks, and occasionally I still binge eat myself into being physically ill. I still struggle with depression and I almost failed all of my classes last semester not due to difficulty but due to my own poor decisions, I’m terrible with money, often anti social and I struggle to find balance and control in my life every day. Point is, I’m not where I want to be. But I’m also not done yet. If the last years of my life have taught me anything it is this. There is only one perquisite to change and that is never giving up. So I’m writing this blog for every Slacker, Screwup, Addict, Freak, Spaz, Fat-Ass, Loser, Hypocrite, and Liar. If you have ever felt that you’re a lost cause, that nothing can ever change and you can never get to where you need to be then this is for you. I’m just some guy, I am in no way special, I am the least gifted person on the planet but I’m still here and there is no way in hell I’m giving up. So this is it, every week I’m gonna let you guys know how I’m doing, what is working and what isn’t. If you want to reach out please do, I’m always happy to hear about others who have made changes in their lives, and I want to help if I can. I want it to make it clear that I have no idea what I’m doing. My life is in no way figured out, but I do have two things going for me. First that I know I can change my life because I've made it better than it was two years ago, and second that I am, far too dumb and stubborn to ever stay down for long, so if I keep moving someday I will get there. -Scotty2.0 05/19/2019

#grit #self confidence #self control #self improvement #change #addiction #recovery #lifestyle #loser #weightloss #transformation #Scotty2.0 #adhd #depression #binge eating disorder #embrace the suck #accountability

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shiranai-atsune · 5 years

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VLD Rant... and Goodbye Letter

I have been going around tumblr recently and I have noticed that a lot of fans have written a goodbye/thank you letter to VLD, which is hours from its final season airing, and I've thought about joining in ‘ya know, jump into the bandwagon with my fellow emotional hardcore fans and decided to write a letter of my own. A rant/goodbye/closure letter.

Okay, okay, I'm totally gonna be real here. I'm actually typing this under... emotional duress (???) so, please don't judge me; I just need to let this all out...

And I've had this for a while, saving it all up until the day before THE day. You know, just wanted to get it all out all at once

I wish Voltron had more episodes. Eight seasons should be released a year separately with 24-26 episodes released weekly per season. Eight seasons. One season a year. Plus OVAs.

I'm also wishing for a VLD movie. I know this is too much to ask but the show is so good I wanted it to last for a loooong time.

Voltron had so many plots just rushed! And potential developments and exploring more of the universe lore!

Plus, I'm not sure, with all the plot devices and plotlines they've put, would everything fit in just 78 episodes.

Sometimes, I feel like it isn't enough, that we're not getting enough. Maybe it's the pacing or the lack of episodes showing what's going on with the rest of universe.

I mean, what of the Galra? They don't exactly have a home planet so how are their lifestyles, besides military? Like, what about the children? Where do they exactly live? etc. (a lot of things confuse me, like the age gap... I mean, Lotor’s over 10K decaphoebes old and his nanny is still alive... his nanny who knew him as a child...)

Really. I wanna be honest to myself here. If VLD had that many storylines, they should've had arcs for it. Not cramp each storyline into one episode! Alternate reality, plot devices, etc. I’m just not making sense here...

This sorta feels like Star Wars. The movies weren't exactly enough so they made spin-off tv shows... which I hope VLD will have... one day... that isn’t horrible or will ruin the franchise.

Oh well... I suppose I can still dive into the fandom and keep on requesting... I mean, at least I’m not alone here, I’ve got fellow fans who knows this feeling...

One more thing I've got to confess, I WANT FEM!LANCE TO HAVE HAPPENED TO BADLY!!! No offense but I wish Lance was the one genderswapped to female, not Pidge; though I wouldn't mind alongside Pidge.

If Klance becomes canon and Fem!Lance becomes more popular and gets more art/fics, my Space Rangers all survive and live happily ever after I can accept this as peacefully and as calm and content (still cry on the inside) as I can.

BTW, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING VLD! THE ENTIRE CHARACTERS, CAST, AND CREW, @thebestlaurenmontgomery, (and whatever the tumblrs of the other cast and crew members are...) EVERYONE WHO WORKED THEIR HARD BUTTS FOR THIS! I’ve had my complaints, but I could not ask for a better show. I know it felt like a short time... but it was a fun run while it lasted!!!

Setting aside my ranting above, I just want to say that while it felt like a short time, Voltron has given me so much... great relatable characters, happy smiles and sad tears, the journey of a lifetime, so, so many wonderful moments that I wish could go on forever...

Even though, I spent less than a year with them... I’ve felt like I’ve bonded with them for just so long... I love them all to the bottom of my heart dearly, and now just seeing them go... hurts. A feeling I haven’t felt for a long time. They may just be cartoon characters to some people, but to me, they felt real, I want them to be real, because I want to join them... heck, I would take a shot for them if we were fighting the Galra. ...so, so many characters I wish I could hang out with much longer... There’s just so much... such a big universe with so many people...

Argh, I’m just so bad with words... but I hope you all get what I’m trying to say...

The show has made such an impact on me...I’ve met so many awesome people, I’ve had the chance to support so many amazing content creators, I’ve read and seen so many artwork and fanfics... I’m gonna miss this show BAD. I’m gonna miss my favorite Paladins, so so much.

I love being a part of this fandom. And no matter how much it hurts, I do not regret it.

(Even after the show if over, I’m never gonna stop shipping Klance, so KICK me until the day I die!!!)

I just wish there was more... that I could’ve joined right from the beginning... I joined way too late, like, MANY seasons way too late. I missed out on a lot...

I mean, really, like A LOT. The feeling of waiting, anticipation, guessing, etc.

The best I can do is just savor every moment I have the best I can... (Quiznack, writing this is making my heart ache).

I’m just hoping Voltron actually exists in real life...

Now if you excuse me *sniffs* I need to go grab a lot of boxes of tissues... *cue waterfall tears*

On another note, I've noticed that a lot of people have problems with the Lion swap...???

Okay, go easy on me on the comments.

Oh, and one last thing... It’s been an honor flying with you all...

And now my heart just broke. (I must now emotionally, mentally, and spiritually prepare myself)

...

QUIZNACKIT. OH WHO AM I KIDDING?!?!?!?!?! I AM NOT READY. I DON’T THINK I EVER WILL BE! I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS!!! WAAAHHHHHH!!! TT-TT

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chambersmyers67-blog · 5 years

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Friendly Furniture Aids For Movement.

I am specific that you have actually perhaps listened to or seen mobility device platform lifts that will certainly give individuals that are mobility device bound a means of entering and also out of their automobiles. In attaining power you have to establish particular individual qualities like looking into a beneficial location to start, check out and create the sources needed to acquire a desired position as well as do something about it. Simply under 6.6 million individuals go to a gym regularly, below a peak of more than 6.7 million six months ago. Using the power of the Zeo Crystal, Tommy, Kat, Rocky, Tanya as well as Adam ended up being the Zeo Rangers, Planet's last resort versus the Machine Realm. It consists of the electromechanical head which is in charge of reading/writing data on the CD/DVD and consumes great deals of power. Also if a gym does not allow a youngster to join, they may prolong babysitting services. According to lots of fitness center sales pitches, you'll drop weight, you'll transform your body and your total lifestyle will boost if you join their fitness center. When it comes to high quality of wheelchair lift, convenience and also convenience is the very first standard for purchaser. It has 11 gyms in Spain as well as 4 in Portugal, in addition to 5 outlets in Australia. With a mobility device system lift the individual has the power to set their wheelchair on the lift and also secure it right into area. The three sorts of face lift treatments are the deep plane lift, the mid lift and the string lift. The genuine power of Power, however, is that ... it's putting African-Americans at the heart of a TV pattern - the antihero - that previously has largely been the district of white men. If you're new to the fitness center you might be daunted, but if you follow these basic standards, it will ease your change from lazy person to fitness center rat. The Bowflex Sporting activity residence fitness center does occupy a fair bit of room; the impact of it is larger than what many people anticipate. The only means for any of the Rangers to call one another would certainly be their independent wrist devices, which really did not count on the Megaship for power. The Bowflex Sporting activity house fitness center is a versatile maker that covers basically every muscle group of the body. Some fitness centers do not allow any person under 18, while some nationwide chains, such as 24-HOUR Health and fitness, allow minors ages 12 to 17 to join. Mention punch power and individuals have the tendency to recollect huge, protruding arms and triceps muscles. When you are looking for the mobility device lift van or you are intending to have van customized, it is suggested to you that you deal exclusively with a credible member of the National Flexibility devices dealerships association when you are have to purchase a mobility device handicap lift van. With the matches still in his hand, he struck up an additional fire, illuminating the opening, showing a collection of actions heading to a reduced degree. I looked up to see what can be the last time Jack checked out me with love in his eyes and afterwards counted on encounter my back to him as i raised my leading to disclose my bare back to him. Although the concept of power is not inborn but learned some individuals have it and also others do not. I additionally like his summary of the cost of power; lengthy hours, hard work, as well as loss of family members as well as individual time. He raised his hand as well as i tensed my body, wheezed as well as closed my eyes all set for the discomfort. Sports Direct stated its ₤ 5 deal was being tried at its brand-new purpose-built fitness centers as well as maybe turned out at the former LA Health and fitness websites in the future. The health club is 142,000 square feet as well as consists of equipment such as outside as well as interior swimming pools, 12 tennis courts, exercising weights, machines and 120 health and fitness classes in a week. It has 40 gyms in huge cities around the UK. Conversely, everyday membership prices just ₤ 5. The majority of regional recreation centre gyms could be used on a PAYG basis. These wheelchair lift vans are specially made to accommodate wheelchair bound person. Enhancing temperature levels incorporated with the damaging contaminants released by nuclear power plant contribute to unhealthy air high quality, activating asthma assaults and various other breathing harms. Pfeffer (Glad this is a created review I have no suggestion how you can state that name) is an academic that specialises on organisational behavior, as well as this book is basically his advice on the best ways to acquire, preserve, and also recognize power. The gamers handled to prise open the lift doors as well as were handed containers of water, coffee as well as sandwiches as temperature levels increased inside. Each time we placed ourselves right into package we shed our power since at this moment we shed the ability to recognize our limitless possibility. What interests me extra is how in each story human life is placed relative to law and political power. The oppositions could not doubt whether the Clean Air Act authorizes EPA to limit carbon dioxide pollution from nuclear power plant. The emphasis of his book is the result power carries those who do not have it. He breaks his analysis down into 3 measurements of power: the initial is straight negotiating and also engagement, the second is the exclusion of the helpless from that bargaining process and/or agenda-setting by the effective, and also the third is the internalization of the ideals, worths, and also choices of the dominant by the controlled. Rather counter-intuitively, the quicker removable quad lift has the same uphill ability as a fixed-grip quad. An old gym at the site closed in 2012 as well as the centre was demolished and reconstructed by the Royal District of Kensington and also Chelsea, who spent ₤ 29million. To me, this is really sad since as I claimed, it was hand made equipment by Joe Gold himself and also has a particular worth to it if nothing else than for historical factors. Then she entered 8th quality and also participated in track, swimming, then softball period came. After the Turbo Rangers lost their powers, he effectively led the team into room, where they discovered Andros as well as the Megaship. I have actually had numerous unforgettable miracles given that I discovered the Secret and now I'm expecting enjoying the things I've developed in the past, caring every little thing in my present, and lovi While the Secret is the legislation of attraction, the Power is the regulation of love. It deserves having a look at which Pokémon are in the health club you intend to attack prior to opting to enter into battle to make certain you have the appropriate sorts of Pokémon to prosper. L'entraînement par accélération sur les plates-formes Power Plate ® acquire une foule d'avantages notables put atteindre, voire dépasser, les objectifs de problem body. Lewis, pushing the ground, blood dripping down his face, reaching out for the last vital to his power. So while energy power plant fitness centers may not generate blinding light, their presence does leave a bit much more light at the end of the passage. Individuals who frequently flock to cosmetic surgery clinics to have a mid lift are those in their 40s or 50s. Stood under the largest shower she had ever before seen she delighted in the feel of the water as it moved down her, sighing with satisfaction as the power shower gently massaged her body. The no-frills health club group, which is managed by exclusive equity house CCMP Funding Advisors, had hoped to provide the business in London following the ₤ 250m float of its main budget rival, The Fitness center Team, last November. Push-ups and also pull-ups are the most standard upper-body motion to establish power endurance. This workout equipment is frequently gone along with by a display screen that tracks the heart price,. in addition to other details like the number of miles run or calories melted. Il est vrai que j' y consacre a peu prés 4 heures par semaine chez moi en musique et je peu vous dire que je ne price aucune séance tant je me sens bien après mon heure de power plate. There are various other basic functions of patio PL-P mobile wheelchair lift are as adheres to. The High court already determined that question also in American Electric Power v. Connecticut, in 2011. Both fitness centers have actually moved the inner city location of Sparkhill as well as cater for a mainly Muslim clientele. The Lumo Raise costs ₤ 80 in black, white as well as grey with black and silver magnets. If you stroll into the gym with reduced power or really feel as if you have flu-like symptoms, the very best point to do is to delay your workout for a couple days. There is an alternative available to you if your objective is to lift weights and also get a cardio benefit at the same time. People waste a lot of money on unneeded cardio equipment, multi gyms as well as overpriced specialist products that quite frankly aren't specifically helpful in an industrial gym, let alone a house training area. Going to imp source was as essential to a Roman as mosting likely to the gym was to a Greek.

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ragingsquidjake · 6 years

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Jake's 10 Favorite Films of 2017

Been a while. I decided it'd be nice to get my feet wet on updating again with my Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2017. I'll note right here at the top that I specifically say "favorite" and not "best," because (A) I am WAY underqualified to assess objective artistic merit in film, and (B) you can argue with me about what movies are the best, you can't argue with me about which are my favorites. So disagree all you like! But these are the movies that, to one degree or another really moved me this year.

10 - STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

I'd pretty much given up on loving STAR WARS movies. When I did my 100 Favorite Films list a couple years ago, I was shocked to find how high STAR WARS was on my list. I always new I loved the movies, but in sitting down and assessing what movies and storytelling mean to me, it was surprising to see how high STAR WARS ranked. Particularly after the prequels were so off-putting. And then THE FORCE AWAKENS came out and I...just...couldn't care. I connected to none of the characters, I thought the set pieces were uninteresting, and I wasn't sure what it wanted to do other than be the original movies. The only thing I found interesting was Kylo Ren, a villain particularly compelling in his weakness.

So when this new movie came out I was still excited because it was still STAR WARS, and I'm a rather huge Rian Johnson fan, so I went in expecting to like it, but I didn't expect to love it. But I did. LOVED it. The characters I'd felt no connection with in THE FORCE AWAKENS suddenly clicked. The action was compelling. The choices characters made were surprising but also well-motivated and revealing. As opposed to when a major character died in TFA, the death in this film meant something, it hit me hard. I loved it.

I can carve out a couple pieces of logic that don't pan out, and I agree that the gambling planet diversion goes on too long/isn't as well orchestrated as it could be. But still. But still. It also helps that the movie is centered around a theme I find endlessly compelling: how to deal with the fallout of failure, and where and how to find the will and the direction to go on.

I loved a STAR WARS movie again. In a year of continuous tumultuous uncertainty and disappointment, that was a wonderful experience.

9 - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

I don't know how deep I want to get into the new "controversy" around this movie, but given that in some circles it's at the point now where liking the film is tantamount to saying you endorse racism, let me say this: I don't think the movie forgives any of its characters, and all of them have a lot to atone for. It's a movie in which anger has corrupted nearly everyone, and anyone who has escaped that overwhelming anger is left grappling with hopelessness and desperation. McDormand and Rockwell's characters are both dangerous and wrongheaded, and even though both characters do certainly receive grace at certain points--which is a far, FAR different thing than forgiveness or acceptance--neither of them actually do much to accept said grace. That leads to an ending that, in typical McDonagh fashion, is kinda funny, but also existentially horrifying. SPOILER, but anyone who watches Mildred and Dixon drive off to possibly kill someone innocent of the one crime they know to connect him with and thinks "boy, this movie sure does approve of these characters and their thoughts and actions" might want to reconsider.

McDonagh takes a hard look at difficult people and eschews easy answers. What is to be done with someone like Mildred or Dixon? Certainly Dixon should lose his job, which he does. He should also be in jail, which he is not, but certainly seems headed in that direction one way or another. But even in jail, what does one do with a man like Dixon? Do we just write him off? Is he too far gone? If he IS too far gone, how did he get there? Is there anything to be done there? And what does it mean to be too far gone? The same goes for Mildred, who at multiple points almost literally burns down what remains of her life because she cannot move past the tragedy in her past. Should she, too, be written off entirely? Put out to some kind of angry person pasture?

The movie isn't without its flaws. For a movie that has racism as a major component of its story (and being set in rural Missouri), it's dreadfully short on black characters of any actual substance. And not every scene works (that scene with Mildred and the deer, which could have potentially worked as a quick, silent beat, becomes dreadfully ham-fisted with dialogue). But a movie about the difficulty of people overwhelmed with a blinding anger, particularly in 2017, shoudn't be quickly dismissed. I liked it a lot, and have kept thinking about it since I saw it.

8 - I, TONYA

Another difficult flick, another look at the anger and resentment run amok. Harding is a great anti-hero for our times, caught at the cultural crossroads of rising class resentment, the burgeoning 24-hour news cycle and celebrity/reality TV movement, and the focus on "Family Values." Harding and those in her orbit are all stuck in a gravity pull of lower class roots that they find it increasingly difficult to escape from, and it eventually leads them towards a path of doom and destruction.

Much like with certain political scandals, the question of Harding's guilt in the Kerrigan case is one of what did she know, and when did she know it. This movie is less concerned with Harding's guilt in the knee bashing than it is with her cultural guilt. Her guilt of being low class, crass, graceless, broken in home and in soul. Which certainly helps make Harding a compelling character, but does run the danger of letting the actual assault of another human being be a side story. Is the movie too kind to Harding? After years of mockery and humiliation, being barred from doing the one thing she'd spent her whole life working towards, if there is an overabundance of "kindness" here, what does that mean?

THREE BILLBOARDS makes us consider what could possibly be done about broken people like Mildred and Dixon. I, TONYA asks us not only what we could or should do about someone like Tonya Harding, but what role we ourselves have in creating someone like Tonya Harding. Having lived in a few places in my youth with some pretty extreme poverty, my class warrior instincts certainly got inflamed watching I, TONYA, but now living in fairly middle class comfort, if I'm going to say that Tonya Harding was a monster, she was a monster created trying to contort herself to fit the approval of someone like me. Both sides of that conundrum gave me pause while watching the movie, and I loved that it hit me from all those angles while still being a really engaging, exciting film to watch. I thought it was a real achievement, and I tip my hat to those involved.

7 - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

In the midst of a movie year filled with anger and despair, we got this little miracle of a movie. All things considered, the characters in this film have it worse than pretty much any of the others on this list, socioeconomic-wise, and yet this movie was so full of life and joy and wonder. It helps that the movie is anchored on that amazing performance from Brooklynn Prince as Moonee, a character whose infectious energy continuously caught me off-guard throughout the whole film. We're so trained to find the hopelessness and sadness in a story like this (or perhaps even worse, thoughtless schmaltz), that Moonee's sense of adventure and openness felt like a small, silly, human revolution on screen.

Willem Dafoe is getting all the attention for this movie, and while he is undeniably amazing, Brooklynn Prince and Bria Vinaite are both so staggeringly good, so dynamic but also natural and believable, it's practically a crime people aren't throwing awards at them. And while movies this year had showier direction and editing, Sean Baker's ability to craft such an organic story that sneaks up on you quietly as the movie progresses is honestly stunning. He makes it look easy, as though these characters and this world and this story were just lying there waiting for someone to point a camera at them. The way he builds tension, keeping the many dangers of the world, the ever-present invitation to tragedy, consistently just on the outside of the story until it cannot help but break through, is masterful. There's such an elegant arc to Halley's ability to turn enemies and rivals into friends and accomplices until, suddenly and violently, she cannot, was one of the best pieces of dramatic construction I saw this year.

6 - LADYBIRD

It's difficult to talk about LADYBIRD because, as Rotten Tomatoes will apparently tell you, it's basically a perfect movie. What do you say about a movie that pretty consistently and pointedly just simply Gets It Right? Much like THE FLORIDA PROJECT it's an achingly humanistic look at a young woman whose perception of the world begins to grow faster than she's prepared for.

What's so beautiful about the movie is how perfectly it captures that horrible growing pain that bridges the gap from adolescence to adulthood: the realization that all of your pain and angst that feels so personal, that is so very much yours, is actually shared by everyone, always, everywhere. Those people you dismiss, or make fun of, or envy? They're all hurting and yearning and lonely and confused and frustrated, just like you are.

Pound for pound, I don't know that I've ever loved an entire cast of characters in a movie more than this one. I could go on and on about each individual performance of every supporting character. They were all glorious. I wanted to hug all of them. What a beautiful movie.

5 - MY COUSIN RACHEL

A common theme in a lot of movies this year was men's inability to see women wholly as people. No need to go into a lot of fairly self-evident mirroring of current events, I think. But one such movie that I feel was grossly underappreciated was MY COUSIN RACHEL. Adapted from a Daphne Du Maurier novel, the movie follows a young man's relationship with his late cousin's wife. At first suspicious of her, once she comes to live with him he finds himself enthralled. The cousin goes from feared and hated to the object of desire. For a brief moment all is bliss, until, slowly, the old suspicions begin to resurface. Who is this woman, really? What does she want? What sort of game is she playing?

There's so much to dig into with this movie, but to reveal too much would be to tip the movie's hand, and it's a pretty damn good hand, played extremely well. The performances are all spectacular, the movie's locations and design are brilliantly considered, and its tone and telling are perfectly balanced. After the movie my wife and I had a long conversation about how the movie reflects and comments upon the way men see women. We both had different takes on what certain aspects of the film meant, but it's the kind of movie that really courts that kind of discussion, and only grows all the more meaningful and interesting because of it.

4 - THE PHANTOM THREAD

I'm beginning to feel like Paul Thomas Anderson has gotten to that point where we just sort of expect him to make something brilliant, and so we're not all that impressed when he comes out with yet another masterpiece. This movie absolutely blew me away, and I'm shocked people aren't talking about it more. It's human, funny, compelling, and surprising. To me, Anderson has reached the point of artistry where he's almost a magician. I don't know how he makes this movie work. Most of the characters are unpleasant, it takes place in a world I have very little interest in, and its emotions are frequently reserved until they, on very rare occasions, burst forth in largely uncomfortable ways. And yet, I loved every minute. I smiled the whole time. I was swept up in it, and I don't even know how it happened.

This and the following movie make up a pretty intense double header of films about egomaniacal male artists and how the women in their lives deal with them. The strange sort of twist this movie comes to in the resolution of this relationship is something so strangely beautiful, something I found so oddly touching, I consider it a marvel.

Also, "The tea is leaving, but the interruption is staying right here with me" is a perfect moment that had me laughing out loud while also cringing inside at totally recognizing that horrible impulse. Which leads me to my next movie...

3 - ...mother!

On the way to seeing this movie my wife and I were having a slightly heated discussion about making plans. I'm very much an extrovert who loves having big parties with lots of friends coming over to the house and hanging out. My wife is an introvert, and while she loves seeing our friends, these kind of gatherings take a lot out of her. I am also a person with Artistic Aspirations, which, as anyone who has ever had to deal with another person with Artistic Aspirations knows, can be an extremely exhausting endeavor. I want to DO THINGS, I am hungry for ACCOMPLISHMENTS. My wife, if she had her druthers, would spend her days on the couch cuddling with cats, watching British mystery TV shows, and working on personal projects either artistic or design related.

So we put our discussion on pause and ducked into the theater to catch ...mother! When we left, it felt like we'd both gone through some sort of intense counseling session. We went back into our discussion about the party much more even-tempered and found some good, solid compromises. The movie was a vision of what could be, a nightmare vision of a worst possible outcome for two people of our temperaments. It tore into both of us and made us look at each other and ourselves, and reach out to each other. It was, honestly, a powerful experience.

I know the movie is outrageously over the top, I know its allegories are what some might call ham-fisted, but Heaven help me it was exactly how that silly little argument we were having before the movie felt, and that's what I really crave out of cinema. One of my favorite movies of all time is Andrzej Zulawski's POSSESSION. It's a movie about the crumbling of a relationship, but it has absolutely no claim to any sort of realism. Far from it, the movie looks to externalize how a serious breakup feels, with car crashes, murders, violent fits in subway tunnels, and a grotesque squid monster. I'd much rather watch that movie than a movie that just looks at a breakup in starkly realistic tones. ...mother! felt more like those arguments, to me, than, say, the much more realistic scene of Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone sitting around the dinner table in LA LA LAND. ...mother! was a straight up gut punch that really affected both Emily and I, and we talked about the movie for days afterwords.

It was also fairly fearless filmmaking. Once that movie lets itself off the leash and really goes for it, I was on the edge of my seat. It was audacious, surprising, difficult, and personal.

2 - RAW

In a year where people talked a lot about women in film and one of the most discussed movies of the year was a socially conscious horror movie, I felt like RAW got a bit of a...well, a raw deal, if you'll pardon the pun.

It's the story of a young vegeterian woman names Justine (in an incredible performance by Garance Marillier) who is going to veterinary school. On the first day of class she takes part in a hazing ritual that involves eating raw meat. That little taste of flesh sets off certain cravings in Justine that lead her down a path full of shocks and surprises that it would be an absolute sin to spoil.

The movie is one of the most gut-turning horror flicks I've seen in a long time, something the French seemed to have taken great pride in recently. But there's also a strange heart beating inside it, and there are a lot of things on its mind. It's a movie that hits on nearly every level, and its scenes of bravura horror and, sometimes at the same time, comedy, are pretty astounding. The audience I saw it with was gasping and cringing the whole time, it was a great communal horror movie experience, one that's stayed with me ever since.

There's maybe a longer blog post to write someday about how the future of horror lies with women and minorities, as they're the ones closest to actual horror in real life. I don't think it's mere happenstance that while most white guy horror movies have become rote scare machines, the horror of women and minorities out on the fringe are where people are finding deep, meaningful, lasting horror film experiences these days.

Julia Ducournau, the writer/director of RAW, is now at the top of my list to watch. I cannot wait to see what she does next.

1 - PERSONAL SHOPPER

One of the reasons I feel like this year was such a strong one for film is that so many of the movies I saw have stuck with me long after I saw them, but none moreso than PERSONAL SHOPPER. It's a movie that's incredibly self-assured, but oddly hard to define. Part thriller, part ghost story, part rumination on moving forward after the death of a loved one, part examination of contemporary distance and dehumanization through technology, there's a lot going on but still feels completely whole.

While the movie has a number of tricks up its sleeve, its greatest asset is Kristen Stewart, whose performance should have been showered with accolades and yet the movie seems to have quietly disappeared. There's an incredibly tense section in the middle of the film that's entirely focused around one side of a text conversation. It's a feat of editing and directing to make something that would seem incredibly static and dull on the page incredibly tense and emotional, but it couldn't have been done without Stewart's naturalistic performance that captures a quiet unraveling of safety and explosion of personal fear and doubt in the midst of a very public place. It's a hell of a performance, and one it's hard to imagine another actress being able to pull of nearly as well. Assayas seems to have found the perfect matching of subject and star, and Stewart absolutely kills in her role here.

The heart of the film, I think, is what we truly want out of our relationships with others. Stewart's character Maureen puts her entire life on hold to try and make contact, even for a moment, with her deceased twin brother, but what happens if she actually gets that chance? What does she want to say to him, what does she want him to say to her? The movie never makes it seem like Maureen is all that invested in the afterlife, she doesn't want to hear from her brother whether or not there's something on the other side. So what does she want? What actually goes missing when someone we love dies, and what does it mean to try and replace it? But even beyond death, how do we connect with those who are still with us? The central texting scene, Maureen's Skype sessions with her boyfriend, her boss who manages to be overbearing while also never actually being around all that much, there's a constant distance Maureen is grappling with throughout the film, sometimes trying to bridge it, sometimes trying to hold it steady. It's maybe the first movie I've seen to really address this modern problem in a way that didn't feel pat or reductive. It felt extremely personal.

Which all leads up to its absolutely pitch perfect ending, a quietly earth-shaking encounter that left me absolutely floored when I saw it and has played in my head over and over again ever since. In a movie that has this many moving parts and interweaving themes, sticking the landing can be incredibly difficult, and boy did they. One of my favorite film endings in a long time.

For a year that felt as fascinating and dynamic as 2017, a mere favorite 10 movies seems paltry. There's so much more I want to talk about, so if there's something from 2017 that particularly stands out to you, toss it in the comments and let's keep the conversation going.

HUZZAH FOR MOVIES!

-Jake T.

#2017 #Favorite films #Star Wars: The Last Jedi #The Florida Project #Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri #Personal Shopper #Raw #The Phantom Thread #Ladybird #My Cousin Rachel #Mother!#I Tonya

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dear-chaton · 6 years

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1-100 bb

BAbe lol why it’s fine but oh dear lord who’s ready to another long af ask?

Bc I just answered some of these I will link to the first part here^^

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal bc I don’t care if it get soggy

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Lots of cream, milk and sugar.

6: do you keep plants? Nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Writing I guess? I didn’t pick up drawing or painting till late last year

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Always, singing to myself as I fill this out right now haha

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side but curled up nearly in fetal position bc I’m lanky as hell

12: what’s your favorite planet? Mercury?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Either really pastel or grungey

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! In space metal sticks together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Lasagna

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I like to point out friends spelling mistakes on discord and pin them so that everyone sees bc I’m slightly dyslexic so it’s funny when I do catch mistakes

20: what’s your favorite eye color? I love green and blue eyes

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. There’s many of those lol

22: are you a morning person? Nope

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? No, I don’t like to have one single person that knows every single little thing about me, I have multiple people that know many things that I trust to them but often those things rarely overlap

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where?

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? It’s a tie between my pug shoes or my cat shoes bc they have memory foam soles since I work on my feet all day I wanna have some comfort on my off days

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Just plain regular bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Oh yeah plenty of times

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. It was after a friends party last year and we just sat in her living room comparing the average guys dick size for some reason 😂

33: what’s your fave pastry? Croissants

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s a really big bunny rabbit, I don’t think I ever named it to be fair and yeah I keep it on my bed nearly all the time and it’s something I use to comfort me if I’m sad and wipe away the tears if I cry :’)

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes lol but I more so collect them than use them

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Either skillet or Pentatonix

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Hate when people cut me off when I’m saying something, I barely talk so when I do I’m a little miffed if I don’t quite get to finish my train of thought, I also hate when people chew loudly in a quiet setting like please no save me

39: what color do you wear the most? A navy blue or a jade green

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I guess the most important to me is my purity ring and I’ve had that thing since I was 13 so nearly 8 years I’ve been wearing it and yeah

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! It’s kind of quiet and quaint but it’s fabulous to have study groups there and sit there for hours I feel bad for the people that deal with us but it’s so nice

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Being in the back of my boyfriends car, cuddling him

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Ha nope

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. What’s the favourite movie for cats to watch? The Sound of Mewsic (you can pry cat puns out of my cold dead hands)

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Heights and yes still hate it

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I love cds and the last one I bought I can’t actually remember it’s kind of been a while^^

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Bears from each state

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Misbehaving by Pentatonix or The Only Exception by Paramore

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? That despicable me meme bc I love those movies okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My friend Stirling who just had to put his dog down :(

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Screeched and lunged for my phone I guess erm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Just the small things you don’t think of when you think of a particular person like someone will bring a blanket to our group between breaks and we’ll all huddle underneath it or someone will push two couches together so people can cuddle and/or spoon and be cute like stop being so freaking cute sometimes okay,

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It’s interesting I’ll say that

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I am bc I’m the oldest of my friends and therefore the only one who’s roughly allowed to drink but no seriously my role on two discord servers is a toss up between Wine Aunt or Wine Goddess like I don’t make this shit up

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Have never really liked poetry so uh

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? On my bookshelf there’s all my favorites out on display but the rest are kind just shoved into boxes

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? It’s dark out bc it’s nearly midnight

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My best friend even though I haven’t been the greatest friend and not talked with her in a while >.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Soft with white and light blue flowers I guess?

68: what’s winter like where you live? Hot and humid most of the year with a week or two of what the fuck Florida

69: what are your favorite board games? Checkers

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Most definitely

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Always ready to fight

75: tell us about your pets! I had a puppy that I had to give away over the summer, she wasn’t really a puppy she was a little on the older side but I really loved her and miss her a lot

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Studying but my classes are pretty easy

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Neither

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t mind them but since my nephew likes them I tolerate them

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? One wall is just a hot pink bc that was the color of my sheets at some point but I’m gonna paint it to a pastel mint hopefully soon

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Like an iceberg, so cold it pierced my soul (idk either man)

82: are/were you good in school? Pffffffft that’s hilarious

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I wanna get one tattoo is it’s simply ❝&❞ and on my left inner wrist

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No not really, haha

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Homeward Bound bc that is my shit okay

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t like cities so um yeah

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Er maybe to the city to go to a con but otherwise not planning to travel much

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Drowns it with cheese, after taking a lactaid pill of course

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? It’s almost always with a headband of sorts

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My friend Mags

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Going on a date and going boating with my family

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I always procrastinate them lol my computer must hate me

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? It was 6? Years ago and I didn’t have the right shoes and slipped on some mud and fell

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I have a YouTube playlist for that shit lol there’s like 100 songs i listen to on repeat

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future bc hell if I’m about to relive my past again no thanks fam I’m good

Really Fucking Cute Questions

#Anon #answered #kiwi talks shit #ask meme

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corkcitylibraries · 4 years

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Book Review: Matt Haig’s Notes on a Nervous Planet

by Sorcha Fogarty

It is a strange and difficult time for us all. We are all facing a wide range of emotions, from sadness and fear to uncertainty and loneliness. The limiting of natural social contact and the cessation of a normal daily routine can result in anxiety and low mood, particularly when we have senior members of family to worry about. Telling people to “stay positive” can be a redundant platitude, as it is perfectly normal to feel uneasy, to say the least, during this challenging time. Feeling demotivated and lacking enthusiasm can, however, be curtailed with a little bit of self-love: eating foods that nourish you, taking daily exercise, and reminding yourself that none of us are going through this alone.

It can be an even more challenging time for those of us who already find it difficult to manage our mental health, so seeking out ways to cope is all the more important under the current circumstances. As we all know, reading can be an excellent panacea during difficult times. Whereas a lot of “self-help” books can serve to exacerbate anxiety, the wonderful Matt Haig, who also gave us the gem “Reasons to Stay Alive”, has perfectly encapsulated what it’s like to live with mental health problems, and in particular, anxiety, in this modern age.

We live in a world where our news is delivered to us 24/7 – as Haig puts it, “we live in a 24-hour society but not in 24-hour bodies”. Technology, particularly our phones, has increasingly taken centre-stage, especially now, as we scroll anxiously through our newsfeeds, or wonder why we’re not up at 6.00 am yoga-ing along to the latest YouTube fitness video, and educating and entertaining our children in clever and novel ways. Instead, most of us are either working from home or negotiating life as an essential worker, trying to deal with the constant demands of our children, worrying about our elderly parents and friends, feeling isolated and afraid, or we are anxious about what the future holds as regards the economy and our own sources of income.

That’s the reality, and it would be remiss not to acknowledge the many difficulties we’re all facing at the moment - but we don’t have to stay mired in these difficulties, as Haig’s book so brilliantly elucidates. Of course, technology is all the more vital now, for staying in touch with quarantined or self-isolating loved ones, or just talking with a friend in a time when meeting up for a coffee is simply not possible. However, if we are constantly scrolling and face-booking and instagram-ing and mindlessly losing ourselves in the digital world, as Haig states, we are programming ourselves to put our bodies and minds at odds and setting ourselves up with expectations for our lives that prevent our happiness. The wonderful thing about Haig’s writing is that it reassures and empathises without getting all schmaltzy or superior; a book that may sometimes reference yoga but also knows that at the worst times, nothing works except waiting out the pain, and being good to ourselves in the meantime.

So, what are Haig’s suggestions? A brief run-through would look something like this, and Haig writes with such warmth and wit that it is almost impossible not to feel reassured:

1. Comparing yourself to others will make you miserable

“How to be happy: 1.Do not compare yourself to other people. 2.Do not compare yourself to other people. 3.Do not compare yourself to other people. 4.Do not compare yourself to other people. 5.Do not compare yourself to other people. 6.Do not compare yourself to other people. 7.Do not compare yourself to other people.”

2. Use your breath to rebalance yourself

“Breathing is the pace you set your life at. It’s the rhythm of the song of you. It’s how to get back to the centre of things. The centre of yourself.”

3. Do things you love (offline)

“Do something somewhere in the day that isn’t work or duty or the internet. Dance. Kick a ball. Make burritos. Play some music. Play Pac-Man. Stroke a dog. Learn an instrument. Call a friend. Get into a child’s pose. Get outside. Go for a walk. Feel the wind on your face. Or lie on the floor and put your feet up against a wall and just breathe.”

4. Remember the basics

“Never delay a meal, or sleep, for the sake of the internet.”

5. Spend time with animals

“Non-human animals are therapeutic for all kinds of reasons. One reason is that they don’t have news. Dogs and cats and goldfish and antelope literally don’t care. The things that are important to us – politics and economics and all of those fluctuating things – are not important to them. And their lives, like ours, still go on.”

6. Resist robotic tendencies, be mysterious

“Be a mystery, not a demographic. Be someone a computer could never quite know. Keep empathy alive. Break patterns. Resist robotic tendencies. Stay human.”

7. Remember that marketing feeds our discontent

“If you were already good enough what on earth would you spend your money on?”

8. Be mindful of how you use social media (and how it makes you feel)

“I used to think social media was harmless. I used to think I was on it because I enjoyed it. But then I was still on it even when I wasn’t enjoying it.”

9. Do some knifeless mental surgery

“Reframe your idea of beauty. Be a rebel against marketing. Look forward to being the wise elder. Be the complex elegance of a melting candle. Be a map with 10,000 roads. Be the orange at sunset that outclasses the pink of sunrise. Be the self that dares to be true.”

10. Check in on yourself

“Keep an eye on yourself. Be your own friend. Be your own parent. Be kind to yourself. Check on what you are doing. Do you need to watch the last episode of the series when it is after midnight?”

11. See your physical and mental health as one

“Panic is physical as well as mental. For me, running and yoga help more than anything. Yoga, especially. My body tightens, from hours of being hunched over a laptop, and yoga stretches it out again.”

12. Be kind to yourself (here’s how to make it easier)

“How to be kinder to yourself about yourself: 1.Think of people you have loved. Think of the deepest relationships you have ever had. Think of the joy you felt when seeing those people. Think of how that joy had nothing to do with their looks except that they looked like themselves and you were pleased to see them.”

Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig is available on BorrowBox.

#cork city libraries #love reading

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tracyfance · 4 years

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New Post has been published on Tracy Fance

New Post has been published on https://tracyfance.com/gratitude-coronavirus/

Gratitude & Coronavirus

The UK is about 5 weeks into the pandemic, 2020 is not going as I thought it would, I’m sure you feel the same way too? For many people life as they know it is on hold, however for some not a lot has changed. I fall into the 2nd category, although work is very different, I can work via phone, Skype, email etc, my events and training however are a different issue.

So how are you spending your time during this hiatus? Many people are using the time wisely; cleaning their houses and cars, ploughing through that list of jobs that you promised you would do one day but have just been to busy to do for years and the like. Some have become experts on games and are furiously posting on social media every minute of their lives to kill the boredom. I have to be honest and say life is not really drastically different for us, here’s why:

We both work from home anyway so we are both at home most of the time, the only difference is that my partner is not popping in and out on errands and seeing clients and I don’t have a stream of clients coming to see me nor are we out at the events we usually do, this is not the end of the world for me as I have felt changes coming for some time now, this may be the transition.

When it comes to food, the panic buying did not really touch us, my partner is one of those who will use every bit of a chicken, including boiling the carcass to make soup, stock or both. He’d be great on Ready, Steady, Cook as he can make a meal out of most random items and it will be tasty and nutritious.

I spent the first week of lockdown on the phone to various government offices and financial establishments DWP/HMRC/my bank/mortgage company etc to find out what assistance was there for us then I spent another week on technical issues so that left the 3rd week where I feel like I am finally getting to work on the projects that I have had on my to-do list for years!

I’m glad we were allowed to exercise so I have left the house but in my normal working week that is quite often the only time I leave the house so that has not really changed either!

I love what I do and I love seeing my clients, however not having the manic diary that I usually have has given me space, that space has allowed me to think about where I want my business to go, how I want to grow. I’ve enjoyed being quieter, I’ve enjoyed doing stuff for me instead of always being there for others, I sort of miss it all too though, but having a break does make us appreciate things we take for granted, even the annoying person in the office might start to be a welcome return to normality!!

We are being more creative financially because times are challenging, but we seem to be living like kings, one of our local fishing businesses is supplying the public as a result of their catering trade having gone due to this lockdown, it is fresh, local and very reasonably priced so we are supporting them, we love fish but we rarely have skate, salmon, lobster, crab etc as much as we are doing right now.

We are shopping differently, we’ve never done a big shop, instead we tend to go when we fancy something for dinner so we go most days, my partner is not keen to go that frequently right now so we are going once a week.

We are buying our meat from the local butcher and veg from the local fruitier which we do sporadically usually, many of our friends are doing the same, let’s hope this is the future for local businesses and that they don’t go back to using the supermarkets quite as much.

I really love the creativity that I am seeing in people right now, they are coming up with old ways of doing things as well as new to get them exercise and to stop them getting bored.

I love the fact people like Joe Wicks who nobody took notice of is now a viral sensation and millions of people are watching his workouts, oddly TV companies around the globe want him now! Glad that some people are benefiting from this but in a good way. Sadly, the criminals and unsavoury people are equally creative in finding new ways to rip people off or to profiteer from the situation.

It is sad to see how many people have become hard, selfish and antisocial during this Coronavirus pandemic, panic buying with no thought to others, ignoring social distancing, judging people with no knowledge of the true situation, however this has been outweighed by those who’ve discovered their ‘war spirit’ and have gone above and beyond to help those worse off, manning food banks, cooking for the vulnerable, working even though this puts them at risk, caring for those who are ill with a range of illnesses as well as Coronavirus.

Most of us are guilty for taking things for granted, I know I take my partner for granted, he always does the cooking, I rarely get in the kitchen but I know he enjoys it and I do offer to cook. We take it for granted that we have freedom to move around, many countries had a full lockdown, with no room to escape the house AT ALL, with the police given powers to arrest people not adhering to the laws.

We take our health for granted until someone we love gets ill or worse we get ill, it is true when they say ‘youth is wasted on the young’ it is, it is only when you are older or have poor health that you wish you’d taken better care of yourself when you were younger. Even fit people can be struck down suddenly.

I’m sure there are many people and businesses that took their trade for granted, who expected pubs and restaurants to be closed? Even the takeaway that we take for granted is not so readily available.

Many people do not like their jobs but at least they have a job and the income from it, many people now are realising that they moaned about their job but would give almost anything to have it back now!

Look around your friends and family, see how much you miss being with them, for many people this social isolation is their normal day, imagine 5/10/20 years of this as a disabled person or as an elderly person, single or not. I hope that this situation will allow for more compassion and understanding of those who live in isolation on a daily basis.

I love the way neighbours have created groups on Facebook and WhatsApp and other similar apps so they can all talk and see who needs what, if anything. For many this is the only contact they have had with neighbours since moving into that property, that may be due to shyness, working shifts, long hours, just different working patterns etc, we need community and this has proved how much better we are as a community.

Finally, we are valuing our key works like nurses, doctors, pharmacies, firemen and police, it’s great we come out and clap for them to show our support but I’m sure being better paid would be more appropriate when this is all over.

It is great to see people have ideas on how to help the community, on how to fulfil a need or to create a new service or product etc to help at this time. So instead of being busy doing nothing, use the time wisely to allow inspiration and new ways of being come to you.

Now is the time to get used to living in the moment, rather than being flat out 24/7 and unable to enjoy who we have in our life, the things we have in our life, it is the right time to think about the kind of life we want when this is over, I don’t doubt that for many people going back to how it was is not an option.

So in amongst all my usual day to day tasks, I am also building in more me time, I’m not sure if my run is ‘me time’ or not, I do it because I need to get some exercise instead of being chained to my desk, I also need to lose weight. I’ve picked up my flute for the first time in months and I am ploughing through learning a new language, by the time this is over I should be able to speak 4 languages including English!

I’ve given myself time to sit in the garden and sunbathe, I’ve allowed myself to change my sleeping pattern as well as changing my diet a bit. I don’t have lunch most days right now because I am not getting enough exercise so a few less calories is no bad thing, it also means less shopping trips!

We are missing friends and family but so far, we have been lucky and they are all well, that has been our main goal, we’d hate to be responsible for someone we love getting sick or dying.

I love the way so many people are living the #bekind ethos, we have no idea what a person is going through in their life or what their status is so be kind to all, they may be a key worker or they may have mental health issues and need that kindness. Smile at people, do something nice for someone and ask them to pay it forwards.

This pandemic is the perfect mechanism for many to accomplish their soul contracts and soul purposes, out of adversity comes something positive, it gives humanity a chance to be humane and compassionate, so although this is a terrible situation there are many positives to be found in it. It is only all negative if we allow ourselves to see it from that position.

Weird as it may sound, I am actually grateful for this pandemic, the planet needs it as does humanity, this might just save the lives of the planet and everyone on it!

So make a list of all you are grateful for right now, however temporary, focus on what you have and not what you do not have. Stay safe!

#gratitude #bekind #coronavirus #payitforward #inspiration #attitudeofgratitude #positivementalattitude #soulcontracts #soulpurpose #humanity #compassion

#corona virus #coronavirus #health #positive thinking #soul contracts #soul purpose

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flcwerstudies · 6 years

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cute tag!

pretty long post coming up!! Thanks to @cafedetude for tagging me!! im tagging: @hermiionegrcnger @studying-frenzy @belledoe @tiny-notes @theteadesk !! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ofc and if u want to do it and i haven’t tagged you go ahead!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? there must always be more milk than cereal, but that amount must not exceed a certain amount do you get me? when i scoop my cereal there has to be proportionate amounts of milk in each scoop, consistently, until i have finished my bowl. my mind is a strange and lonely place.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yes! its so refreshing and i feel like all your lethargy just evaporates... i love taking walks in the winter around my neighborhood in the evenings.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? spoons, lipsticks, i once used another book to bookmark a book, hair elastic, my contact lenses case, compact mirror....im a mess, i know

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: scalding hot with lots of sugar and some milk. coffee: lots of milk, so much sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? no? i just want my braces off!!

6: do you keep plants? yess

7: do you name your plants? yes! i am currently growing two wild roses and I’ve named them Calliope and Polymnia.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? journaling, writing, reenacting musicals and dramatic renditions of songs?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yeah ofccc it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back and side

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? CAROL THE LESBIAN LIBRARIAN // mary walks by // too many to list here tbh

12: what’s your favorite planet? mars! and also venus

13: what’s something that made you smile today? my friends

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? a hurricane flew thru the entire place, empty wine bottles on the ground, beanbag chairs, stacks of books and movies, maybe a cat and a dog lazing around on the couch

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! there’s a gigantic cloud of alcohol wayyyyy out in outer space that could produce over 450 trillion pints of beer

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? give me all the pasta. i love all pastas.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? im ok with my hair color now

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. GETTING A CAPUCHIN MONKEY AS MY PATRONUS ON POTTERMORE

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yes! i rant a lot and i sort of write down reflections? on my day and things. its really emo and angsty lmao im 16 pls

20: what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes. so gentle. so sharp. so kind but so cruel. so ambiguous!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my tote bag from myanmar! the straps are falling off but i love it so much

22: are you a morning person? depends on if i slept early enough

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, watch a movie, watch youtube, read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? absolutely not. it always pisses me off when people are like ohhh you can tell me anything??? no i can’t????

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? my friend’s house lmao

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my peach converse! they’re so pastel and they seem weird but converse generally go well with a lot of things

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don’t like gum tbh

28: sunrise or sunset? both

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? sticks his tongue out when he’s concentrating and its so cute i die everytime

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes but i will never ever go into detail with anyone about this lmao

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i love socks, i like wearing weird socks except for toe socks, people who sleep with socks on are Immune to Heat and Not Afraid Of Dying?? no white socks get nasty real quick and they’re so bland, i love socks i have this grey pair with french bulldog faces allllll over it and i wear them all the time and even though people can’t see them i still get happy and tell people about my dog socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. HA LMAO we had just watched a scary movie so obviously we turned on my little pony and watched that for two hours

33: what’s your fave pastry? cupcakes! anything tbh i have an enormous sweet tooth

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my dad used to go on a lot of business trips and he came back once with a huge stuffed bear from switzerland and its so fuzzy its still on my bed. it’s name is Fred and it wears overalls and it has brown fur!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes to all!!

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? paul anka lmao he’s not a band but ya know

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! wHEN UR JAMMING OUT TO MUSIC AND THEN SPOTIFY JUST STOPS WORKING?? people asking me if im mad when im just being quiet and then making me mad by continually questionning me, people who will ask dumb questions (yes, there are always dumb questions. google is free and im not going to tell u the homework, it’s written on the board quite clearly u moron), racist/homophobic/ableist/ generally offensive and disrespectful people

39: what color do you wear the most? grey and navy

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have mismatching earrings that my grandmother got me for my birthday!

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Fifteen Dogs by Andre Alexis!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! the starbucks on center street it’s very Starbucks, exactly what you would expect, but I always sit in the corner spot near the windows

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My family!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? sitting in the sand in shell key, florida. my feet are in the water and i am watching my family swimming. I am very sunburnt but my mind is completely blank in a good way

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? absolutely

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. ofc they used a baby lion as their mascot. it’s simba-lic.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? there’s this food in korea that’s just stir fried rice with soybean sprouts and the sprouts..... aw god....they refuse to be bitten in half and it’s so gross i hate it sm

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? darkness! and no it is different today!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? there are scarce places to buy CD’s now but the last one I bought was Micheal Jackson’s Bad

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? bottle caps and paperclips and also pens i pick off the ground

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my dad. any aretha franklin song

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the spongebob one and the gif of the white man who blinks a lot....u know the one

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i loved all of them and i want to be able to quote them in all of my speech but i dont think people have watched all of them

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? i was working on homework last night and when i was turning on my laptop to work on my project i met my reflection in the screen

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? been incredibly bitchy like damn.....i surprise myself and i really hate it

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when people use weird shit as bookmarks, when they laugh with their eyes shut, laugh lines near their eyes, dimples, kindness, when they aren’t afraid of making eye contact with me bc i have weirdly intense eyes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it did not fit the mood of my day but yes i did reenact the lyrics

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my friend diana is the wine mom but i am the vodka aunt. why?? she is infinitely more caring and kind and sophisticated and also wine gets u lowkey, calm drunk, while i, the vodka aunt, am caring, but i have a bit of a laissez faire attitude and go with the flow and ‘damn what the hell fuck it’ kinda vibe and vodka gets u sloppy shitfaced drunk with none of the sophistication that comes with wine.

59: what’s your favorite myth? icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i dont LOVE poetry but i like haikus they’re like clever one liners ha

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I gave my friend a notebook that i’d hastily made the night before and I have received a box of pads which in retrospect is not even a stupid present bc pads are expensive

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? i drink oj when i can

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i organize them every month bc i am ridiculous and i can’t function if my bookshelf is weirdly organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale grey almost white.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? my oldest group of friends (TNT lmaoooo) OR YOU KNOW callixtus from volunteering holyyy. you know those people who u meet and u immediately click with?? he’s on of them magical people and he was hella funny too i miss that guy to all hell

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? small roses! peach blossoms and cherry blossoms too. one huge ass hibiscus or lotus flower as a statement piece

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? cozy and sheltered. valid excuse for not going out

68: what’s winter like where you live? terrible but i love it kinda

69: what are your favorite board games? monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board? NO WHAT

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? barley, green or reallllyyyy black tea with loootss of sugar so that it makes your teeth ache

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah how’d you know

73: what are some of your worst habits? expecting everyone to be on the same page

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. dedicated and brash, loud and hilarious, soft, amazing, i love them a lot

75: tell us about your pets! i dont have pets!! T-T

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? studying BUT DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS OK

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? hateclub sorry

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? done my makeup for me while gossiping with me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? pale green and yeah i did. i chose it bc i love green! and the old color was boring and i didn’t like it

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. no edges at all, soft bovine eyes , shaking leaves, crocodile tears

82: are/were you good in school? yes! it’s a source of a lot of pride for me!

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? amsterdam by nothing but thieves omg

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? oohh nahh im not planning on getting tattoos im scared of needles

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? through the woods? i used to read a lot of them but you know i grew out of them

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? not especially no

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the drop, double indemnity, back to the future, idk there’s a lot

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? the rennaissance! it was so extra and i loved it a lot

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. TORONTO-soaring skyline from the highways at night near the lakeshore, the lights from the condos are like stars and its ridiculous but i also loooooveee dubrovnik in croatia and hanoi in vietnam and kaunas in lithuania and kyoto in japan.....in dubrovnik the wind blows in from the shore and at night when the lights are on in the walled city the stone glows amber. In Hanoi in the old quarter, motorbikes flash by and there’s yelling and the smell of pork skewers and there’s old buildings and new ones, huge stalks of bamboo leaning up against the walls. In Kaunas the wind is so cold and sharp and the buildings are so clean and there’s that old fortress and the tower! it’s so beautiful. and Kyoto is old and archaic but so modern it hurts and the streets are too uniform and the houses creep me out a bit bc they’re so quiet.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? i dont think so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i will bury my pasta in cheese just you watch

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? my hair is one style fits all bc its short

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? study and work on projects and homework and stress and nap and have dinner with a guest

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? no updates. we die like men.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? isfj-t, aries, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? sometime in september? it was nice!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. put your head on my shoulder by paul anka....there’s a lot and im really lazy sorry

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future, just to see where I end up

#tagged #ask games #nice!#tagged games #tag games #about me

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c-rankin93 · 7 years

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Uncle Archie Knows Best

A/N: so me being the anti-social person i am, decided to troll Tumblr. When i came across THIS lovely post about MMFD prompts, and i haven't done a prompt for many moons.. soo.. i wrote this in about an hour, because of my 'shes no you' multi chapter creation. so hope you like it even if its just thrown together and i though id just add the tag list to my other Fic.

Runs and Hides now... Because i dont even know where this came from!

Archibald at your service...

Now let me tell you a story, a fickle little shrine to two people I love dearly. A story so pleasantly surprising you'll be wondering 'what happens next?' You've seen Rae's point of view, and maybe even Finn's, but have you viewed it from the outside looking in?

I can read Finn better then a poem written by Shakespeare himself, and Rae let's just say hostility and regret can never be covered by a sarcastic joke. Her facial expression tell a story of their own, I just so happen to be a fantastic Explorer. Summer of '96, currently 3 days, 7 hours and 19 minutes ago was the last time I had seen or heard from either Rae or Finn. Which was incredibly odd because I ALWAYS get the one moody phone call from Rae everyday, telling me to get my arse moving and to meet her at the pub. Oblivious to the time she's calling, which would be tethering on lunchtime. And I, being the early riser I am would already be wide awake and on my 3rd cup of peppermint tea. Finn on the other hand would just levitate around, half the time fading into the background by the jukebox until it was time to see Olivia. Olivia, Finn's new prized possession. The 24 year old business women that seemingly found a newly fresh 17 year old attractive enough to date. And if Finn's docile smiles have any indications, he really didn't know what she saw either. That stupid boy jumped head first into a pile of his own shit, when he got involve with Olivia. I know why he did it though, Rae hurt him that night she broke up with him. He wasn't stupid, he had heard the rumours about Liam and Rae. The kiss. The fight. He wasn't even keen to go on the date in the first place, but he walked outta the pizza place with a new girlfriend. Coincidence? Yeah, your probably right. So what happens when Uncle Archie knocks some sense into a dim witted Finn Nelson? Nothing. You know why? Because they hadn't contacted me in 3 days! No 'thank yous' or 'Fuck yous', just a whole lot of silence. My mind maybe a little fuzzy, my alcohol ingestion that night was more then I'm willing to disclose. But I do remember what I said to Finn outside the pub after Rae made a dramatic, but also quite hilarious exit... (Fades off into a memory. Woooohooo *spooky fingers*) "Finn, a word. Outside?" My eyes gravite towards the gang; who are still wondering 'what just happened?' Before they land on the boy in question. He too looked a little put out, but agreed to talk. Finn kissed Olivia's cheek quickly, then trailed after me into the bellow freezing temperatures of a summers night in Stamford. We huddled close together around the side of the pub, away from prying ears. He kept looking around, trying to see what direction Rae sprinted off to and when he saw her fading figure he frowned. "What the bloody hell were you thinking Finn!" I pointed an accusing finger at him and shoved it into his chest multiple times. "Wot?" He replied, defending himself from my unslaught. "What do you think your doing bring Olivia to the pub? Especially when you know Rae will be there!" This boy was smarter then he looked. He knew exactly what he had done tonight, he brang Olivia to show everyone he had moved on. He just had no idea that was the topic I chose to broach with him tonight, we'll until now. "I didn't do anythin' wrong Arch. Liv wanted to meet you all tonight, especially 'Cause she knew Rae was there. She wanted to get to know everyone." I swear gay men are the only smart creatures on this planet. "You twat! She was sizing up the completion! 'Oh Rae how lovely to meet you, Finn talks soo much about you'" I spoke with a girly accent. It wasn't my finest work, but at least I got my point across. "And what's with all this cheesy nickname shit. Bug? Really Finn! When you guys chose pet names, were you laying in bed cuddling too?" "Hold up Arch! Remember Rae left me! Not the other way around. She has to use to me datin' other girls-" "Woman" I interrupted. "Girls-women whateva! I had to deal with it, so does she." I shook my head at the stupid boy I decided to call my best friend. "Do you not listen to the stories that get spread around school" I asked honestly. After socialising in the same circle as Macca and Simmy for a few weeks, I had grown a custom to the foul things they talked about involving the other students. And to my regret, Rae had been a topic well and truly covered. "What are you talking about? You know I can't stand college" Finn stressed running a hand through his hair. I caught him look in the direction Rae headed, but unfortunately her figure had disappeared by now. "After your little disabled toilets stun, you two became quite famous. I'm surprised you didn't hear about your little escapade floating in the wind." "You know nothin' happened. We talked, and I kissed her. And it shouldn't matter what happened in there anyway! It's nobody else's business." Sighing, I thought of a different way to broach the subject. "Finn its a place full of teens, gossip is their only form of communication. We are a nasty breed of people, that will twist and turn the truth until it's a plausible story. It doesn't matter what really happened. All they know is you and Rae locked yourselves in the toilet, alone, together. They have an imagination. Everyone thinks you two had fucked." Finn scoffed acting like it was the stupidest thing he has ever heard. Then it clicked. The clogs in this brain meshed together in harmony, he finally got what I was trying to say. "What are they saying about Rae?" "Do you want the truth? Or would you like me to sugar coat it?" I asked honestly. It didn't matter how and what I said, I know Finn was going to be mad once he finds out. "Truth." "They are saying along the lines of... Rae is a fat minging bird that you felt sorry for so you decided to give her a sympathy fuck..." "And she's heard this?" I nodded. "What about you and the rest of the gang? Have you heard this?" I regretfully nodded again. "Why hasn't anyone told me this shit! Why haven't you done anything about it Archie!" I bowed my head in shame. Here I am berating Finn about what he's doing to Rae when I too was only hurting her as well. "I honestly thought you knew and shrugged off the silly rumour like you normally do, I mean when you heard about Rae and Liam you laughed. And I know I should of done something Finn. I'm just trying to fit in at the moment, and I fucked up! We all fucked up" I sighed. "So she believe what people where saying about her then? That's why she broke up with me? Not because she didn't want to be with me but because she doesn't think she's worthy of me." "I don't know Finn" I shrugged. "She had a mental break down not that long ago. Anything could be going through her mind right now." Finn patted his jacket pocket, checking for his wallet and what not before looking back at me with a sad smile attached to his face. "I have to go talk to her before she gets to the pigeon race." I snorted. "Really Finn?" "Look just tell the others I had to run off, I-ugh-I had toooo..." "Go to a pigeon race?" I laughed. "Yeah whatever. Just tell Olivia I'll call her tomorrow" he shouted the last part as he darted across the road. He ran down the road leading to Rae's house. I hoped I had done the right thing. "CALL ME!" I shouted, but Finn had already faded into the black. "Well what to do now?" I mumbled to myself staring at the pub doors. I didn't particular want to venture back into that domain, especially without Finn in tow. Eh. I think chop will be quite alright with the ladies tonight. I started walking towards my car. I think it was time for a peppermint tea. (And.. CUT!) But he never called me.. He never picked up the phone, his dad being away on a work trip didn't help. Even Linda didn't spill the beans, she just said she was out. So you see my glorious friends, here is my little story about how Uncle Archie either saved the day or got himself into a load of shit. Time will tell to establish the ending of this story. All I know for one, is it won't be ending with someone jumping on a train to Bristol. I'll shut that shit down quick smart. So until then I will bid you farwell- *Ringing* "Holy fuck" I mumbled wiping the drool sliding down my chin. The ringing continued to blare through the room as I picked my head up from the desk I fell asleep at. I rubbed my forehead and groaned before reaching over my lamp to grab the phone. "Ello?" I croaked, sleep still evident in my voice. "Archie?" I bolted up right as soon as I heard Finn's voice, which caused me to fall backwards off the chair. I laid there a few seconds before dragging the receiver to my ear and taking the base with it causing it to land on my leg. Fuck. "Yeah?" "Did you just- never mind. What's going on?" "What's going on? WHAT'S GOING ON? Three fucking days Finn! No contact from you, nothing" I sat up straight. "What happened?" "Uh well I broke up with Olivia" Finn said warily. I snorted. "Don't give a toss about that! What happened with Rae did you find her?" "Yeah I found her." "And?" I stressed. I'd start going grey soon if Finn kept talking in riddles. "Here I am stressing. Having waky ass dreams about me narrating a story about you two and all your giving me is a short answer. I need information Finn Nelson!" "Are you alright Arch? You seem a bit strange this evening" Finn had the audacity to laugh. "Finn!" "Ohkay. Ohkay. We talk, no details. And we sorted stuff out. Starting fresh. We're going to try again." I smiled. Whatever Finn said actually worked. Honestly I thought the twat would fumble over his words, but he actually did it. I was like a proud father. "Ohkay that's good" I played it cool but inside I was jumping up and down like a school girl. "Are you Bellends coming to the pub anytime soon to socialise? Or are you two not quite ready to come out of your bubble?" "Nah we'll see ya tonight. Catch." "See you then." The line went dead and I sagged back onto the ground. Oh it was glorious being Uncle Archie. Being wise beyond my years, with a dramatic group of friends that helped expand my growing ego. I could sell my story and become a millionaire one day.

*dramatized exit*

@lily-pop-2 @eveerez @i-dream-of-emus @hey1tskat1e @arathewallflower @mmfdfanfic @luly310 @l88cym @tinakegg @milllott @milymargot @lurkernolonger

#mmfdfanfic #ilovemmfd #my mad fat diary #my mad fat fandom #my mad fat diary fic #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #archie

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howtoloseweightfastsafely · 5 years

Text

Part 3 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Part III:

Before getting to some action steps, I'll end the "theory" part of this chapter by, ahem, "droppin' some knowledge".

When it comes to finally getting in shape (or really, any major obstacle in your life), do you ever find yourself saying any, or all, of the following?

"I'm too busy"

"I would lose weight but I have a bad back (or knees, or shoulder, or [insert another body part which has no impact on what you put into your mouth])"

"I'm too tired."

"I have to watch my kids"

"I work so hard already. I deserve a break."

"My coworkers or family eat junk around me, so it's impossible not to join them."

(Or, really any other excuse that's keeping you from your goals)

The thing is, we all have to deal with these, every single day. Even now, I sometimes find myself saying "I just have so much to do today, I can't go to the gym". And this is exactly when I know I have to cut the crap and do exactly what I'm avoiding.

Essentially, we need to train our minds to immediately recognize these B.S. rationalizations for what they are and push through them anyway.

You see, these phrases are called "surface excuses", or excuses that we tell ourselves to cover up our underlying fears.

In other words, surface excuses actually have nothing to do with being busy, or injured, or tired.

While you may actually be busy, in some pain, or really tired, that doesn't mean you can't find 15 minutes to cook a healthy meal or 20 minutes to take a walk or do a quick workout.

In reality, these "surface excuses" mostly have to do with covering up our:

"It's never worked in the past. Why should it work now?"

"Who am I to deserve an attractive, fit body, and will I even be able to maintain it?"

"People are going to laugh when they see me waddling around the gym"

First. No one "made it" by giving up after a few failures.

And even if they really put in the effort and still failed, it's because they followed bad instructions, or they followed no instructions.

With the system laid out in this book, you won't need to worry about that. You get clear, well written and simple instructions from someone who knows exactly how to maneuver around the sticking points.

Second. No one cares about your round stomach, jiggly arms, or big butt. This "self-image" issue can be a big obstacle for many of us who are just starting out. I was like this too: I dreaded working out because I figured people were constantly laughing to themselves about how fat I was.

In reality, though, this is all negative self-talk, and it's simply not true.

One of the most important things I've learned over the years is:

People are much more concerned with how they look in the gym, or what they're eating for dinner, or how they can't wait for the next season of Game of Thrones, or how good the cashier at Starbucks looked today, or [insert mindless drivel that goes through my head, and the heads of 99% of people on the planet].

I also heard a study once to the tune of this: people think 7,000 thoughts per day. And 90% of these thoughts are about themselves. So, while you may personally think you have a huge butt or big ol' man boobs that everyone is secretly mocking, there is a good chance that it's simply not true to the rest of the world. They have their own problems to deal with, and you're probably not one of them. So do what you have to do, and don't worry for even a second about what others think.

Third, and last. I personally get very excited anytime I see someone overweight or obese in the gym, or if I see an overweight coworker bringing in a healthy home-cooked meal.

For me, and likely anyone who works hard in the gym (and/or kitchen), it's incredibly refreshing and empowering to see someone who is busting his or her butt, especially if they're not in great shape already. It shows us they're willing and ready to change, and it reminds us of the struggles and obstacles we faced on the way to our dream bodies.

SO when you see that lean guy or gal at the gym, realize that they aren't mocking you when they look your way; rather, there's a very good chance they're very proud, and maybe even surprised, to see someone out of shape finally taking charge of their life.

Interested in losing weight? Then click below to see the exact steps I took to lose weight and keep it off for good...

Read the previous article about "Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality"

Read the next article about "Part 4 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality"

Moving forward, there are several other articles/topics I'll share so you can lose weight even faster, and feel great doing it.

Below is a list of these topics and you can use this Table of Contents to jump to the part that interests you the most.

Topic 1: How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days - And How You Can Too

Topic 2: How I Lost Weight By Not Following The Mainstream Media And Health Guru's Advice - Why The Health Industry Is Broken And How We Can Fix It

Topic 3: The #1 Ridiculous Diet Myth Pushed By 95% Of Doctors And "experts" That Is Keeping You From The Body Of Your Dreams

Topic 4: The Dangers of Low-Carb and Other "No Calorie Counting" Diets

Topic 5: Why Red Meat May Be Good For You And Eggs Won't Kill You

Topic 6: Two Critical Hormones That Are Quietly Making Americans Sicker and Heavier Than Ever Before

Topic 7: Everything Popular Is Wrong: The Real Key To Long-Term Weight Loss

Topic 8: Why That New Miracle Diet Isn't So Much of a Miracle After All (And Why You're Guaranteed To Hate Yourself On It Sooner or Later)

Topic 9: A Nutrition Crash Course To Build A Healthy Body and Happy Mind

Topic 10: How Much You Really Need To Eat For Steady Fat Loss (The Truth About Calories and Macronutrients)

Topic 11: The Easy Way To Determining Your Calorie Intake

Topic 12: Calculating A Weight Loss Deficit

Topic 13: How To Determine Your Optimal "Macros" (And How The Skinny On The 3-Phase Extreme Fat Loss Formula)

Topic 14: Two Dangerous "Invisible Thorn" Foods Masquerading as "Heart Healthy Super Nutrients"

Topic 15: The Truth About Whole Grains And Beans: What Traditional Cultures Know About These So-called "Healthy Foods" That Most Americans Don't

Topic 16: The Inflammation-Reducing, Immune-Fortifying Secret of All Long-Living Cultures (This 3-Step Process Can Reduce Chronic Pain and Heal Your Gut in Less Than 24 Hours)

Topic 17: The Foolproof Immune-enhancing Plan That Cleanses And Purifies Your Body, While "patching Up" Holes, Gaps, And Inefficiencies In Your Digestive System (And How To Do It Without Wasting $10+ Per "meal" On Ridiculous Juice Cleanses)

Topic 18: The Great Soy Myth (and The Truth About Soy in Eastern Asia)

Topic 19: How Chemicals In Food Make Us Fat (Plus 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply)

Topic 20: 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply

Topic 21: How To Protect Yourself Against Chronic Inflammation (What Time Magazine Calls A "Secret Killer")

Topic 22: The Truth About Buying Organic: Secrets The Health Food Industry Doesn't Want You To Know

Topic 23: Choosing High Quality Foods

Topic 24: A Recipe For Rapid Aging: The "Hidden" Compounds Stealing Your Youth, Minute by Minute

Topic 25: 7 Steps To Reduce AGEs and Slow Aging

Topic 26: The 10-second Trick That Can Slash Your Risk Of Cardiovascular Mortality By 37% (Most Traditional Cultures Have Done This For Centuries, But The Pharmaceutical Industry Would Be Up In Arms If More Modern-day Americans Knew About It)

Topic 27: How To Clean Up Your Liver and Vital Organs

Topic 28: The Simple Detox 'Cheat Sheet': How To Easily and Properly Cleanse, Nourish, and Rid Your Body of Dangerous Toxins (and Build a Lean Well-Oiled "Machine" in the Process)

Topic 29: How To Deal With the "Stress Hormone" Before It Deals With You

Topic 30: 7 Common Sense Ways to Have Uncommon Peace of Mind (or How To Stop Your "Stress Hormone" In Its Tracks)

Topic 31: How To Sleep Like A Baby (And Wake Up Feeling Like A Boss)

Topic 32: The 8-step Formula That Finally "fixes" Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested (If You Ever Find Yourself Hitting The Snooze Every Morning Or Dozing Off At Work, These Steps Will Change Your Life Forever)

Topic 33: For Even Better Leg Up And/or See Faster Results In Fixing Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested, Do The Following:

Topic 34: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 35: Part 1 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 36: Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 37: Part 3 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 38: Part 4 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 39: How To Beat Your Mental Roadblocks And Why It Can Be The Difference Between A Happy, Satisfying Life And A Sad, Fearful Existence (These Strategies Will Reduce Stress, Increase Productivity And Show You How To Fulfill All Your Dreams)

Topic 40: Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results

Topic 41: If You Want Maximum Results In Minimum Time You're Going To Have To Work Out (And Workout Hard, At That)

Topic 42: Food Planning For Maximum Fat Loss In Minimum Time

Topic 43: How To Lose Weight Fast If You're in Chronic Pain

Topic 44: Nutrition Basics for Fast Pain Relief (and Weight Loss)

Topic 45: How To Track Results (And Not Fall Into the Trap That Ruins 95% of Well-Thought Out Diets)

Topic 46: Advanced Fat Loss - Calorie Cycling, Carb Cycling and Intermittent Fasting

Topic 47: Advanced Fat Loss - Part I: Calorie Cycling

Topic 48: Advanced Fat Loss - Part II: Carb Cycling

Topic 49: Advanced Fat Loss - Part III: Intermittent Fasting

Topic 50: Putting It All Together

Learn more by visiting our website here: invigoratenow.com

#weightloss #diet

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davidsilvercloud · 7 years

Photo

Vancouver Visual Artist “Butch Naked”, aka Terry David Silvercloud.

I'm a bit like the Sheldon Cooper character from BIG BANG THEORY... I don't fit in, and live in despair that the humans are so ignorant and not too bright. I'm a loner, not by choice, but genetics and history of my life. I taught myself basic electronics when I was 12 years old and was an officer in the Navy at age 19. I discovered what 'gay' was when I was about 22 and, since I had signed on for only 7 years, I left the Navy before they found out I was gay. In those days (1968) I could have been sent to prison for being gay... that's the way it used to be. I didn't become legal until Jan. 1st, 1969 when homosexuality was no longer illegal in Canada.

If I meet you, I will figure out, very, very, very quickly where you are coming from and whether, or not, you have half a brain. I try to get along with everyone but have zero patience for idiots, morons and bullies. I'm 6'2" and you don't want to mess with me... I will do you very serious damage. There is no such thing as fighting clean and I don't fight clean... I bite and and will kick you in the nuts as hard as I can. I break bones... don't f**k with me. Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you. My nickname is 'Butch'. You figure it out.

Monday 2 October, 2017. I wuz up early and woke to the news of the mass shooting in Las Vegas. Very sad. I have no words. I have lost count of the number of times I've started my day with the news of a mass attack on TV. The pain of the victims will not easily go away and I wish them well in their recovery. It is pointless to wonder what kind of mind committs these things... it's tricky.

It gets dark pretty early now here in Vancouver. I spend 99% of my time with my own company so I've got lots of time to think about things. I think about the nature of reality, because I'm into Particle Physics, and I think about life, itself... what is this whole shebang all about? This crazy life we live...

My assumption (theory) is that the universe has always existed, and always will. We are so small as to be totally insignificant in the whole thing. Time is an illusion of size... time is a relative reality based upon your physical size. If you lived on a carbon atom, a second would seem like a very, very, very long time. Your second would be OUR nano second... one billionth of a second. In one nano second, light travels only about 30cm... about 14 inches. Everything is relative to size. Our galaxy could not exist for just one second... it is too large and takes light years to exist. You barely exist, anyway, and I expect we are just an accident of it all and, when the lights go out, it's forever... whatever that is. Remember, time is an illusion of size.

We live in a reality which is totally under control of Electrons. Oh, right... did I mention my interest in Electronics and Electrons? We live in an Electronic universe. The information you are looking at, right now, got to you one Electron at a time when, with one final leap between nerve endings, it registered in your brain... an electron jumped a synapse to deliver an energy wave. Your brain is working at about 10 frames per second... that is why animation is always, at least, 12 frames per second... to avoid any jittery images in your brain. Film goes farther at 24 frames per second... in animation they, simply, shoot two frames of the same image... i.e. 12 frames per second. It's still a lot of drawings. Did I mention I did animation?

As a physicist, I like to know little things... such as, at 30 miles per hour, you are moving at 44 feet per second. As you sit reading this, you are moving, through space, at about 500 kilometres per second. Rest is an illusion of relative motion. There is nothing, anywhere, that is not in motion. You can never travel in an absolute circle, in space, unless you can greatly exceed the speed of light.... exactly the formula for the circumference of a circle... better still to move at the formula for the volume of a sphere where the radius is the distance for one second of time... C the Speed of Light. I know it sounds weird but makes perfect sense once you think about it for a bit. Nothing ever moves in a circle. Circles are an illusion of relative motion.

http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com

Most of you have a job to get to and worries about a roof over your head. I'm quite poor but am retired and I have a couple of small pensions to pay the rent and buy food. There is nowhere I have to be. In that regard, I get to look at life from a more relaxed point of view... NOT from survival of the fittest point of view... dog eat dog, the strong eat the weak... etc. I don't have to get up and go to work and I don't have to kiss anyone's ass. I like being the boss and the guy in charge. That works best, for me.

I had planned to become a physicist but ended up an officer in the Navy straight out of high school... never did get around to practicing physics. I got into photography and did high end commercial work... food, fashion, industrial, product, cars, magazine stuff. I had wanted to be a painter, at one time, and have been teaching myself to paint these past 15 years. I'm pretty good at it, now, and have learned a lot. I spend my days working on my art.

I consider this planet, and its inhabitants, to be totally f**ked and am doing my best to save your sorry asses from the horrors that are coming... mostly mass starvation. Yup... get ready because the world, as you know it, is about to end in this century. Your best chance of survival will be in New Zealand and the West Coast of North America. India is totally screwed as will be much of Africa.

Mass starvation will be the norm. China will lose about half its population but is so overpopulated, that will be a good thing. Military dictatorships will be the norm. You'll see. Mass human exodus is now a normal reality... oh, you haven't noticed? I haven't been able to work out the physics of weather, but there seems to be a very high risk that rapid climate change could trigger a new, very fast developing... in less than 10 years, new ICE AGE. You think I'm kidding. I'm a scientist... I don't kid about these things. Things are stable because the salt content of the oceans has remained constant for a long time. The salt deposits at the South Pole are melting... oh... you didn't know about that? The OTHER risk is that we return to a very high CO2 content atmosphere and the Arctic and north become tropical again. Africa would be not habitable, except on the coasts. India would be too hot a place to live. If the salt deposits, in Antarctica melt and the sea salinity rises rapidly, it will change the nature of ice formation... it's all rather tricky to figure out. "Remember, Eric, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people." Mr. Garrison, Elementary School Teacher, South Park.

There are tons of well-intentioned people out there. The thing is, good intentions and ignorance are a very, very dangerous soup. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. It's, usually, the most Conservative, of people who are the ever present danger. The NIMBY's can be dangerous... those who can't adapt to change. Remember, when you arrive, you don't get to stay. Adapt or die.

Also, remember, knowledge does not equal intelligence. Just because it was in a book and a person knows the book backwards and forwards... the book can't think. Well read people are not, necessarily, intelligent people. They can become filled with hubris and that leads to social dangers. Experience can be hard to come by... and can be as valuable as education. It's nice to have both experience and education. Interestingly, the greatest inventions seem to come from people around age 22... those without experience but bold in their views. It's all rather tricky.

The problem with the planet, aside from gross overpopulation and religions, is that the number of ignorant and stupid people far outnumber the educated and intelligent. When this happens, nature eliminates the issue. It's coming. I say, again, prepare to lose half the population of the entire planet in this century. Expect military dictatorships. The west coast of North America will become a country... an independent military dictatorship. That's where I live but don't expect to live much longer... I'm old and not well.

Remember, I'm a scientist... I don't joke about these things. I say what I mean, I mean what I say, and I don't give a flying f**k what anyone thinks. You must prove your worth to me.

People tell me I'm a "Sheldon". Like, who cares? You get to be weird when you are old. I'm about to be 73. Didn't think I'd be here, still. I'm aiming for 75, just now, in order to attempt to complete some projects I've been working upon. Check me out...

http://TheShapeOfGod.com

http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com

http://ButchBoard.com

http://ButchNaked.com

http://ButchNews.com

http://DavidSilvercloud.com

http://SeriousThunder.com

#Artist #Physicist #Photographer #Vancouver #Visual Artist #Butch Naked

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