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misc-obeyme · 1 day

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cc. your tags on the boudoir post. MAMMON recieving an album of those photos. i'd love to hear your thoughts on his reaction (and everyone else's, if you're feeling particularly inspired?)

Ah, Daisy, my dear, thank you for asking!

I apologize for this late response, but I knew I was gonna be getting wordy with this one. Because I looove the boudoir photos idea in general and OH MAN just thinking about all their reactions is making me crazy lol. I was going to just do my regular sort of response, but this turned into full on headcanons oops.

So just in case anyone missed it, here is the original post!

My thoughts change a little bit depending on whether MC is present when the characters receive the pictures, so I included both! I only did the bros but I might be willing to do the rest upon request!

the brothers react to MC giving them an album of boudoir photos

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: suggestive but that's about it, nothing explicit

Lucifer

When you're with him, Lucifer is calm and courteous, but with a flare of arrogance. Of course you would give him such a special gift. It's only natural that you would trust such intimacies to him.

He asks you if you're trying to tell him something. Has he perhaps been neglecting you, MC? Did you give him this so that he wouldn't be able to help himself? He's onto you.

No matter your reason, he can't look through too many of the pictures before wanting the real thing that's sitting right next to him. Tell him you still have some of that lingerie in your possession. Especially if you happen to have some in his colors.

If you aren't with him, he's going to be a lot less arrogant in general. He will find you later, make no mistake. But he's honestly so touched by your gift that he spends a lot of time looking through the album, simply admiring you.

Mammon

Mammon is freaking out no matter where you are the time. If you're with him, it's definitely a lot worse. Blushing profusely. Opens the album then slams it shut because he can't handle looking at it for very long.

You can't help but giggle at his reaction and then it's all stop laughin' at him MC!! You'll need to take his hands or maybe kiss his cheek, let him know that you genuinely just wanted to give him a nice gift, you aren't trying to tease him or anything.

Ask him if he likes it. You'll get a serious response. Calms down enough to say 'course he likes it. Likes it so much, he suddenly can't keep his hands off you.

If you aren't with him at the time, he buries it under his pillow or otherwise hides it because this is now one of his treasures and nobody gets to see it but him!

Leviathan

Levi is another one who'd be a blushing mess no matter what, but if you're there at the time, he might retreat to his room and not let you in. He needs that barrier between you because if he sees you right now, his heart will explode.

He'll let you back in eventually, but it might be a minute. He needs to calm down. Are you trying to kill him, MC?! Even when he does let you in, he can't look at you directly. He's probably covering his face with his hands.

Reassure him that you gave these photos to him because you trust him with them. They're personal, intimate, and you want him to be close to you. He's going to calm down the more you talk to him. Pull his hands away from his face and when he sees the sincerity in your eyes, it flips a switch. Might even slip into demon form just to wrap his tail around you possessively.

If you're not with him at the time, he's going to need to take care of that raging boner of his right away. He won't be able to focus on anything else until he does. He's so embarrassed, he has to watch several episodes of Ruri Hana to recalibrate.

Satan

He will try to keep his expression unreadable. He's not having any over the top reactions, but as he flips through the photos, he keeps getting redder and redder. You're sitting right next to him, how can he not react? At some point, he has to close the album because he feels like he's looking at something he shouldn't.

Satan is quiet about how flustered he is, but he's having a hard time looking at you. He tries to say something and incomprehensible lines about how beautiful you are fall from his lips. He sounds like a broken record of spoken word poetry or perhaps a very drunk beat poet.

Recovers himself after a minute. As soon as he's composed, you're in his arms. You knew what this would do to him, didn't you, MC? You'll find yourself pressed up against the nearest wall in moments.

If you're not with him, Satan will tuck your album into a stack of his other books. He thinks it's well hidden there - in plain sight. But he's hyper aware of it. Keeps coming back to look at it. Ends up having to put it on the bottom of a stack behind a different stack to make it more difficult to get to.

Asmodeus

Thrilled. Absolutely thrilled in every way. Oh, wow, MC, you look amazing. He's breathless. He's entranced. He's even blushing because he knows what it means that you've given these to him. He's so in love with you, he can't stand it.

Asks you about everything you may be wearing. Comments on the skill of the photographer. Tells you that next time, you should do one together. He has so many ideas. He wants to do one where all you're wearing is jewelry - bright and sparkling, just like your soul.

Covers you in kisses. He's not shy about how this is making him feel, how much he wants you. He just wants to see your beautiful figure here and now in real life, MC! Won't you let him worship you?

If you're not with him, he will find you immediately so he can say all of the things he needs to say in that moment. You can't leave him alone with all these feelings, both physical and emotional. He brings them all to you without hesitating.

Beelzebub

It might take him a minute to understand exactly what he's looking at, mostly because he's never even heard of this. He doesn't know what a boudoir photo shoot is, so you might have to explain it to him. Once he understands, he starts lightly blushing as he looks through them. His expression is serious because he's beginning to see just how special this is.

Honestly surprised that you would give him something so intimate. He's touched. He's going to hug it to himself and look at you with tears in his eyes because he can't believe how lucky he is.

Give him another couple minutes to look through them and then he's having different feelings. He's not sure if he can hold back, MC. Tell him it's okay, that you don't want him to, and you'll find yourself on your back on his bed in zero seconds flat. You're quickly reminded why he's the Avatar of Gluttony.

If you're not with him at the time, he will figure things out on his own, though he'll have a plethora of questions for you later. He keeps it close to him at all times until you answer them because he knows one thing for sure - he doesn't want anyone else seeing these.

Belphegor

Oh, he sees what you're playing at. Trying to fluster him, are you, MC? Trying to rile him up? Are you sure you can handle him when you do that? He's so wound up by the gift he can't act normal about it. He's actually very touched by it, but he's not sure how to deal with the feelings, so he comes on too strong.

You laugh because to you, this is expected. You understand that this is Belphie's way of dealing with his own shyness. You respond by meeting him with just as much intensity. It's all kisses and touching and fumbling in the dark.

It's only later, when both of you are calm, when you're nestled in his arms, that he admits to you how much it means to him. That he tells you how he'll cherish the album you gave him. That he says he's stunned by how gorgeous you are, even more brilliant that the stars in the sky.

If you aren't with him at the time, you'll be dealing with a petulant but horny demon later on. He's going to be annoyed at you for leaving it for him and then not being there when it inevitably turns him on. Just as possessive as his brothers, he hides it in the attic where no one is likely to find it.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 8 hours

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Alright so one of the DCxDP Aus:

It's vaugley inspired by another post I can't find where Amity jumps around the country and sometimes field trips turn into week long road trips. Only vague because I saw: Fentons make the school buses turn into alien invasion shelters and brain went burrrrrrrr.

Anyways, so Superman is fighting off against aliens who have kryptonite. He's trying his best but he's failing, he can't get up.

Meanwhile, a school bus full of kids are watching. Amity Park, after their own world nearly killed them all being led by the GIW who managed to convince everyone ghosts were evil, had displaced itself and now bounces around dimensions. Usually it stays for a week so it's safe enough for trips but this time it didn't. No big, Danny can sense a portal in a city called Gotham so they were on their way when BANG invasion.

Danny thinks it's fun and frankly so does everyone else but Lancer who is exhausted.

Then they see Superman being hurt and…

Danny’s Obsession is both Protection and Space. They know Superman is an alien. He is the Ghost King and the class has become his Fraid through time. They all feel the need to protect.

So they do.

Danny bursts out of the bus first as Phantom and starts blasting. Sam is next, vines erupting from the ground to grab and drag aliens away, one of which she drags to Tucker so he can steal their tech to start hacking. Paulina is out with teeth bared and breathing fire, scales appearing. Dash is using his enhanced strength as Kwan using his super speed. Other kids pour out fighting. Then Star shouts: “KRYPTONITE IS HARDENED ECTOPLASAM! WE CAN EAT IT!”

The kids start snatching and chowing down as other heroes arrive. There are no adverse affects so they let the kids have their fun as they help Superman stand up.

At the end of the invasion, Mr. Lancer (who had come out to with a Blastor in hand) sighed. “Is there paperwork? We were trying to get to a portal in Gotham.”

Que: What?

Danny: “Yeah our home town we had to displace from our him dimension after they wanted to experiment on all of us. Amity pops up in a lot of universes and it's fun!”

Star: “Sometimes our field trips end with us finding the nearest portal though. Danny can find them.”

This just gets questions but like, Lancer is filling out paperwork and the teens are chatting with heroes happily so it ends up they just kind of roll with it.

The conversations are weird though.

Danny: “Ranking for this world?”

Sam: “Top ten. Not higher then Faerun.”

Tucker: “You just liked how you got involved in that one cult and helped summon a Nature God to murder a bunch of polluters.”

Sam: “And?”

Paulina: “I like that one world where everyone had some sort of power. That Midoriya kid was cute. To bad we got caught before we could sneak him on the bus.”

Lancer: “No kidnapping anyone to Amity!”

Tucker: “I liked the time we ended up on that one planet- Palaven? That was fun.”

Danny: “Yeah it was!”

The kids move on and Batman escorts them to Gotham. The portal turns out to be the Lazarus Pit (oh joy) and then life moves on.

Until a month later when Flash sees the kids at a Museum and learns Amity Park came back. The city begins hanging around more and we discoverAmith likes this dimension. It eventually settles near Gotham and Metropolis. Sometimes it vanishes but it always returns.

#dcxdp #dpxdc

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magicalrocketships · 8 hours

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out of context lines

The Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post and share one or two sentences* (or lines for artists) from your most recent unposted WIP with zero context.

I was tagged by @powerful-owl and @diablointercept, thank you!

*or paragraphs, in this case. Forgive me.

They're in the same press conference. It is a battle — a desperate, furious battle — for Daniel to stay focused on the camera and not on Max, who is sharp and frustrated and borderline rude. Max snaps at an inane interviewer later on. Daniel watches the footage five times in a row, video pinched wide, him zooming in until it's Max's mouth, as big as he can get it, and wants to put his dick in it. He tries to meditate the night before Free Practice, the night before Qualifying, the night before the race. He should be doing a full body check but instead he's just remembering Max's skin, the way he tasted, the places Daniel hadn't had a chance to map before it all ended. He wants to learn him like he learns the track, but the opportunity is gone. It is done. It is over. He mentally scrolls his way through their message thread, at the soft dick pictures, the times Max said Daniel's name out loud, the pictures in bed with Zoe asleep by Max's side.

He should be horrified, but all he wants is more of it. He wants Max's attention, he wants it at the expense of Zoe, he wants it more than he wants literally anything on this fucking planet. He wants, he wants, he wants.

He opens his eyes and he's alone. He's so, so fucking alone. It hurts.

Heartbreak fucking sucks.

And I'm sharing one or two paragraphs rather than sentences because

I haven't shared anything in ages

this fic is in the HOME STRAIGHT

I'm writing the LAST CHAPTER (cough, probably) and it's 110k+

we're in the 'I don't think anyone will want to read this/it's too long/what are we doing' mental battle phase of finishing a piece of writing, so it's SHARING TIME as I wail WE WILL OVERCOME YOU at my screen.

(PS OBVIOUSLY this is heartbreak but my fic will end positively for Max and Daniel because I don't write anything that doesn't).

#waffling on about fic #dick chicken #breaking every rule for you #it's got a name now #just need to finish it #realising now i forgot to tag anyone #i'm very tired #forgive me

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televised-uhhh-nerdistry · 2 days

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Cartoon rec of the week:

Craig of the Creek

I haven't seen enough people talking about the show, so I'm mentioning it here. Absolute 10/10 cartoon. Just three kids, running 'round, making friends, running their own semi-sustainable community in the forest (there are some concerns about how much trash they leave there but ultimately they're better than most adults). Literally such a dream. they encourage each other to be emotionally healthy and they protect each other from "danger". Like they'll help each other achieve their dreams as they come (and new dreams show up pretty often because they're young kids).

And they're so funny! Like genuinely these kids are so earnest and intelligent and incredibly humorous and full of heart! They have full lives and they live them to the fullest out in nature after school, on the weekends, and in the summer. It's one of the best representations of found family I have ever seen in a cartoon, and I absolutely love it.

Also several of the writers behind the show are POC and queer (I think the head writers are all Black but I could be wrong), so you know that it was written well and the representation is awesome like I know that it should absolutely go without saying, but representation is much more than just showing BIPOC people on screen, and in terms of cartoons I haven't seen that many shows understanding that fact except maybe the Proud Family, Fat Albert, and a few others whose names will return to me once I've taken my ADHD meds. But the point is that Craig of the Creek gets it right. Most of the characters throughout the show (from what I've seen) are BIPOC, and you can tell that there are caring nods to BIPOC communities (primarily Black American communities), and more than that, that the writers know what they're talking about and are deeply familiar with and are a part of those communities. Craig, the titular character, is a young Black boy, and his family are middle class and ultimately very successful Black people. Kelsey (one of the main characters) is Jewish and Polish, and written with more complexity than having a one and done Hanukah celebration. The Creek's main business, a trading post, is run by Kit, a young Black girl with a love for economy and business. And many other characters are racial or ethnic minorities as well, and it warms my heart to see these characters done justice time and time again.

There's great subtle queer rep too, and you can tell it wasn't written just for the sake of representation, like it was thought out and intentional, and it worked beautifully. There are queer witches, and there are no labels applied to them, they're just allowed to exist with no explanations, happily in love with one another. There's a non-binary character later in the series (I'm only like 10 episodes in so I haven't met them yet but I've read amazing things about them). Kelsey also apparently identifies as a lesbian later in the series (I say "apparently" because I haven't done much reading so as to avoid spoilers, not because I am discounting her identity). On top of that, JP (one of the main characters) has a sister who is dating another girl.

There's also a significant amount of body positivity in the show, at least far than I've seen elsewhere. Not only do they openly say "all bodies are beautiful" and follow up on that by defending one another, there's also very little need to defend one another, because there's a very unspoken and deep respect in the Creek for things like body type, skin colour, disabilities, and so on. The kids of the creek, and their grown ups, are all different body types, and given their penchant for community and uplifting one another, it's no wonder they all seem confident in their bodies.

Not to mention the disability representation. There is a character later on in the series who is Black and deaf, and he not only speaks in Sign Language, but in Black American Sign Language. In addition, though unconfirmed, many of the kids in the creek embody aspects of various neurotypes. For example, the three main characters, Craig, Kelsey, and JP all come across as neurodivergent, with special interests, neurodivergent ways of thinking, and so on. Some have speculated that JP has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which is a disability often comorbid with ADHD. Not to mention that all the kids in the creek embody different special interests, most of which would be considered weird or frowned upon in everyday society, but that are given the opportunity to shine and flourish in the Creek's accepting culture.

Take the Horse Girls for example, a small clique of girls who roleplay as horses in a pasture near the Creek, and of course many of their behaviours are played as jokes, but ultimately they are accepted and involved in many adventures because of their unique interests and abilities which are ultimately how they aid the rest of the Creek. Every kid is a useful and accepted part of the Creek, with the exception of the ranger scout kids, who are essentially the same as cops, who are often exploitative, rude, and disruptive to the community as a whole.

Ultimately, the show is one of love, friendship, community, and acknowledging differences as a natural and helpful part of life. On top of that, it's not copaganda! What more could you want?

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astarionfixation · 2 days

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Chapter 11: +I am not a glass doll+

Part of "Am I Fu**ing Insane !?!" A multi chapter adventure in Astarion’s mind

Rating: EXPLICIT ROUGH SEX (intercourse PIV)

CW: Blood, Sex

Word count count: 1.9k

Pairings: Astarion X OFC Tav

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54356776/chapters/140917522

I have a quite serious praise kink. Which also means compliments in the forms of tags and/or comments might very well spur me to write and post more

** Thoughts "" Dialogue - - Remarks ++ Quotes / Memories

SUMMARY: In this chapter we simply finish the sex marathon we started 3 chapters ago -to jog your memory, she's on top, for the first time ever- Cause I imagine Pacing is of the essence for someone who's been around over two centuries like Astarion. If we had caring cuddly Astarion in the previous two chapters let's just say things get a fair bit rougher here... consider this your content warning for serious Rough stuff.

He has to close his eyes because, if along with the sensations her swaying hips are eliciting from his cock -strangled within her velvety warmth-, he also lets the vision of her soft, perfect body reach him, as it makes languid, serpentine circuits with her back arched and breast exposed as she impales herself repeatedly over him, that alone might make him come undone.

Her movements are excruciatingly slow, as if every inch of him has to be felt and pressed upon, as if her centre is gauging every sensitive spot on his cock and after a moment of attentive reactions she keeps learning and repeating exactly those that are driving him the most insane with pleasure.

His hands still gripping on her hips, though without any pressure or conviction, only to have his fingers full with the grasp of her softness.

*there’s absolutely nothing I can teach her…*

His head rolls back and he doesn’t even realise he must have arched his back enough so that now he hits a new, deeper spot inside of her and a louder gasp breaks through her throat as her movements halt with his cock completely buried inside of her. His eyes shoot open to find her biting her lip.

“Are you alright? Just… let me stay still for a moment… get used to me… we don’t need to ru–”

The words die in his throat with a groan ending his sentence as her hips have resumed their undulation, slow yet hitting harder and deeper every time she presses herself flush against his crotch.

“Do you want me to stop?”

She breathes every word as her rhythm remains unaffected. She suddenly lets him pull out almost completely and his instincts have his fingers dig deeper in her hips to keep her close

“No… please.. I was… just worried… about you”

“Stop worrying about me Astarion, I’m not a glass doll”

There is something incredibly enticing about the way she chose her words, though before he can spend any longer on them, her entire body is overhanging above him. Her hands reach to the headboard of the bed as she’s got him completely trapped between herself and the mattress beneath him. Her soft, perfumed locks caressing his shoulders are the last thing he registers as suddenly this new angle makes a scream of pleasure escape his lips. Though her own lips capture his immediately and now both their moans are just filling each other’s mouths.

This is a new kind of kiss, ravenous, she’s not just kissing him she is…

*biting!*

Her teeth are pulling at his bottom lip and yet in a flash her tongue is pressing harder against his own. Teeth clashing against his and for a moment he still tries to focus on covering his own fangs with his lips for fear of hurting her. But that’s when her words resonate and unlock something in his body

+I am not a glass doll+

A hand quickly moves across her back to press at the nape of her neck, pulling her closer still, the other one reaching for the small of her back as his own hips arch against hers, his cock buried deep inside of her, reaching surely an impossible depth for a human. He might think about how sore this will make her feel later but those thoughts have all but left his mind, finally beautifully empty for once, and all he knows is what his body feels.

Her incredibly tight cunt throttling every inch, every spot, of his insanely hard cock, every beat of her pulse reverberating around it and rippling across his crotch and dispersing around his body.

Her thighs locking his hips in place, pressing harder and harder against his bones and a fleeting thought carrying the desire to hear himself crunch, crushed by her grip, almost tips him over the edge.

Her teeth biting down on his lips without restrain as her kiss gets rougher against his mouth and her hips movements are beginning to match that raw need until she angles herself just right and another moan makes him almost roll his head back. When he does, her teeth don't relent and that's when her bite on his lip finally draws blood.

As the metallic flavour hits his senses everything turns to a blur. The pressure around his cock drives him mad and in a split second he’s grabbed her arms and reversed their positions, flipping her on her back as his hips now pound into her impossibly wet and engorged sex. Her measured slow movements are forgotten, replaced by sudden, hard thrusts that make him want to go deeper, and deeper until there’s nothing left of her to discover, to feel, to taste.

One hand grabs at her wrists and pins them above her head, holding them in place in a rock hard grip, as the other reaches to her thigh, pulling her leg up to curl around his own waist

*Deeper… deeper… deeper*

Her sighs and moans have left room to screams and heaving, and he can tell her own hips are trying to meet his thrusts best as she can in this position. He arches his back so that his mouth can devour hers again and this time there’s nothing resembling concern about his fangs, as they go directly to graze at her lip, nipping just enough to draw her own blood now wetting his lips

*We’re even now, you minx!*

His mouth latches onto her lower lip, sucking on it to draw more of her ambrosia as his hips keep pounding into her relentlessly. Even as little of her blood as this scratch allows him to take in is sending his entire body into a frenzy. His movements scattered and impossibly fast, thrusting in and out of her swollen cunt and he only realises how far he’s taken things when suddenly he feels her clenching around him, the feeling almost as if his own cock is to be strangled and torn apart from his body. The leg draped around his hips pressing into his backside as to pulling him closer *deeper* inside of her whilst her entire body convulses in spasm. Their lips separate only because, in a jolt of pleasure, her head rolls back letting out his name in a scream.

With his mouth now on her neck, he can’t even remember that’s exactly the spot he fed from just hours before, but the freshness of the wound must be what pokes at his instinct when in a moment his fangs tear at it as his mouth captures her pierced skin and finally he can swallow mouthfuls of the heavenly liquid she carries in her veins.

The flavour of her coating his tongue, just as the spasms of her climax still choke his cock, are the last thing he can grasp onto with any lucidity as his eyes roll in the back of his skull. He’s senselessly thrusting harder and harder into her that if any semblance of reason had been left in his brain he’d know he’s bruising her, but no notion other than chasing that absolutely idyllic promise of untainted pleasure is driving his rough motions now.

He can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge as the random clenching from her last climactic twitches are tantalising his cock. His fangs instinctively pressing harder onto her flesh as to getting still *deeper* into her is the only vagrancy he can still follow, in every direction, be it flesh or sex.

His focus is such that it’s not until the tip of her tongue barely caresses the outer shell of his pointy ear that he realises she’s back in control of her movements after her climax. The feeling of her soft bite on his earlobe a moment later, on such a sensitive part of his body, is the gate to perdition and with a final thrust he pushes everything he has into her. A white light explodes in his mind as his own orgasm takes control of every jolt and involuntary reaction of his pale, tensed body.

Sparks are inundating his vision and his physical brain, some ecstatic and some as if pure radiant damage is dispersing across his every thought. Any flash and image that ever existed in his mind is simply flooded with the bright, gleaming pleasure that began in his cock and is now dispersing across his skin through the entirety of his body. His hips pressing flush against hers buried as deep as her fragile form allows, an animal marking his territory with his own seed filling her insides.

His skin still tingles from the aftermath of his pleasure when his brain slowly sinks back into his body and feels hers pressed against his as his mouth is still full of her blood springing from her neck

His lips keep latched onto her still, though his blood drawing has stopped, his tongue freely caressing her skin and gently soothing the wound in an attempt to close it again.

Every shallow exhale that leaves her lips still carries a soft moan. As he leaves a kiss on the closed punctures and moves to his elbows to leave her space to breathe he realises his hand is still holding her wrists down in a rock hard grip so tense he almost can't feel his own fingers.

He drops his grasp and his fingertips go to caress her forehead, her cheeks, swiping her hair aside.

“You were definitely worth the wait, my sweet… you are perfect… are you alright? Was that… too much?”

With her hands free he feels her fingers run through his own hair now, a soft hum resonating through her chest as her swollen lips, still crimson tinted, pull into a smile, her head shakes slightly before she gently speaks

“Definitely not… I don't think I could ever have enough of you… but now I know my dreams never did you any justice…”

At that he can feel the corner of his own lips pulling, the delicious stinging of his lower lip a delightful reminder of how savage her desire for him was, and that settles his mind upon the only sensation her lovely expression brings to him: bliss.

After placing a soft kiss on her lips he slowly pulls his softening cock out and a unique kind of satisfaction fills him as her body still twitches, a soft sigh exhaled with what sounds like quiet laughter, and as he rolls on his back he pulls her to his chest and he can feel immediately her arm circling to reach his shoulder, her naked leg draping possessively over his.

“You’ll have to tell me more about those dreams my darling… after all… there's nothing you desire that I'm not willing to give…”

His voice leaves the question hanging suggestively and he feels her face pressing, hiding against his chest so that the arm circling her pulls her closer as a soft laugh resonates from his lips. Her soft murmurs let him know he's not going to get that answer now as the tip of her cold nose is now pressed against his own unusually warmer skin. Her breathing is regular and slowing enough that the rhythm lulls his own senses into actual, restful, sleep.

For the first time in his entire existence.

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solo-pitstop-vibes · 2 days

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Rowing Pair - Part Two | Don Hume

Don Hume x Original Character

Hi! This is definitely not super edited and maybe a little rushed, but I wanted to post something so here we are! Enjoy part two of Rowing Pair! More to come from Allie and Don...

Part one here!

...

Don gets a little courage after the Huskies' first win.

...

The early morning breeze is chilly coming off the water. Rowing practice is in full swing, and Allie is standing with the other coaches. Bundled up in a thick sweater, her arms are crossed for more than one reason. Ulbrickson paces the length of the Varsity boat, shaking his head,

“34 strokes. You’re fine at 34 strokes. Anything higher and you fall apart. 34 strokes, you don’t beat Cal. 34 strokes, you don’t win at Poughkeepsie. You certainly don’t get to Germany. You know who you beat with 34 strokes?”

He throws his arm out, pointing with his notebook. “The JV boat. Maybe,” he says, turning to the JV crew lounging on the dock. “What are you guys waiting for? Get back in the boat.”

Scrambling to their feet, the younger crew hustles back into their shell. The last few days of practice had not gone well for either team. The Varsity crew was looking worse by the day, and the JV boat wasn’t coming together as they should. Another hour passes with the rowing shells making their way up and down the channel. No one is happy with the progression of the day. The coaches are climbing out of the motorboat, waiting for the two row boats to finish floating in.

Allie looks to Ulbrickson,

“Permission to speak candidly, sir?”

Al gives her a curt nod.

“I don’t think Glenn is a good fit for the boat, they need someone with more fire. There’s a lot of energy to wrangle in that shell, and I don’t think he can do it.”

Al’s eyebrows raise in interest, “Okay, then who would you suggest?”

“You know who.”

That statement gets Allie a pointed look from Ulbrickson without hesitation,

“We’ll talk about it later.”

The next practice, Bobby Moch strutted down the dock and straight into the cox seat of the JV shell. Three practices later, they were rowing like a well-oiled machine. Allie stood next to Ulbrickson and Bolles, watching from the dock. Allie couldn’t help the smug smile trying to break its way onto her face.

“Better?” she asked Al, hands clasped behind her back as she rocked on her heels.

That got her another pointed look, but this time followed by a small smile.

“Better.”

...

“They’re catching up!”

Joyce’s voice rings out amongst the cheering crowd, her hand gripped tightly in Allie’s. Their eyes trained on the two boats making their way through the water, even from far away, they can tell Washington is slowly making their way alongside the Cal boat.

Allie declined Pocock’s invitation to watch along the shore of the finish line, instead choosing to watch the race with Joyce on one of the observation boats. She clearly made the better choice with how invigorating it was to her and feel the crowd cheer around them. Allie and Joyce were only one of many yelling at the top of their lungs as Washington surged past the halfway point, swiftly passing the waning Cal crew.

“Oh, you’ve done it now, Bobby,” Allie mutters under her breath.

Bobby gives the opposing coxswain a taunting wave as they push ahead. The Washington crew's speed began building and paired with a synchronized technique, they were pulling away. Each crew member strained with each row of their oars, and their chests heaved. The crowd’s volume surged, and the announcer began shouting through the intercom as Washington pulled further ahead. Approaching the finish line, they were ahead by a full boat. Closer and closer to the finish line, pushing themselves to the limit.

“And there’s the flag! Washington has done it!”

Allie and Joyce grab each other once again, jumping in joy with their arms around each other. Joyce exclaiming,

“They did it! They really did it!”

As they glide to a stop, splashing surrounds the winning crew as they celebrate. They’re all damp by the time they come to a stop, with huge smiles on their faces. Don shakes hands with Bobby before looking up into the crowd. Catching eyes with Allie, his smile widens as he excitedly waves in her direction. Allie laughs at Don’s excitement, sending back a small wave and a massive grin.

…

The party was in full swing by the time Allie arrived, and she stood outside for a few moments trying to get her bearings. She was practically shoved out of Ulbrickson’s office an hour ago with a promise from Tom that they were done reviewing footage for the night. Allie was still standing outside, nervously smoothing out her dark green dress when Bobby’s smiling face appeared in the doorway. His jacket had already been abandoned somewhere; his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Leaning on the propped open door, he spoke,

“Scared to come in?”

Allie shook her head, “No, it’s just weird because I’m late and coming in alone.”

Bobby clicked his tongue, making his way down the steps to her with his hands tucked in his pockets. “It’s not weird, I’ll go in with you. This party is just as much for you as it is for us.”

She didn’t move, just giving Bobby a nervous glance. Bobby’s expression softens,

“Hey, uh, I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway. Ulbrickson told me that I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and that I wasn’t an option until you suggested me. So, thank you. I’m really happy to be back on the team.”

Allie hadn’t known Bobby long, but they had become close over the summer. While he was strong-headed and liked to act on his own fruition, he always valued Allie’s opinion. She was stunned when he was removed from the crew. Unfortunately, Ulbrickson had used Bobby’s punishment to teach the crew a lesson. Everyone is replaceable, he had said. That’s why he was so hesitant to bring him back and eat his own words.

“I’m really glad you’re back too, Bobby. It wasn’t the same without you.”

Allie meant it. Bobby brought out more in the JV team than he ever could have with the varsity team, and the potential was building.

Bobby knocked his shoulder against hers, flashing Allie a cheeky smile, “Come on, time to let loose. I bet you can get some schmuck in there to dance with you in the first five minutes!”

Allie smiled softly, shaking her head, “Oh, maybe I’ll just watch. I don’t want to dance with just anybody.”

Before she finishes her sentence, the coxswain is already nudging her towards the door encouragingly, “Well I’ll dance with you if you don’t see anyone who passes the test. Although I might have a suggestion or two myself on who to go for.”

His hand is firm on her back as they break through the doorway. Allie glances around, looking for another familiar face. She spots Don almost immediately, sitting on a bench alone with his hands tucked in his pockets. His cute little frown painted across his face. He hadn’t noticed her yet.

“There might be one good one in this bunch, but I might take you up on that offer later,” Allie gives Bobby a small smile, glancing away from Don before Bobby could catch on. Little did she know, Bobby already had plans in motion. While he couldn’t confirm her crush on Don, he sure could confirm Don’s crush on Allie. Having caught on to Don’s puppy dog eyes at practice the week prior, Bobby was determined for Don to make a move after their maiden win. There was no better time.

In the center of the room, couples were dancing to the big band music flowing through the speakers with others sitting at tables that hugged the sides of the room. Allie finds Joyce and Joe sitting close at a small table and notices Shorty slipping off outside with one of Joyce’s roommates. Noticing Allie, Joyce waves her over, gushing about how great she looks. Bobby dashes into action, scrambling through the crowd to Don. Joyce would hold Allie off for a few minutes, she was a talker just like he was. Bobby slides down the bench, settling beside his teammate.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Don shrugs, “I’m watching.”

Bobby glances around, Allie is still talking to Joyce. Good. “Why aren’t you talking to anybody?”

“I’m not much of a talker,” Don replies. His hands are still shoved into his pockets, no intention of moving.

“Oh.” Bobby nods, “Well, look over there. See her?” Motioning in the direction of Allie, who has now glanced up and caught the pair talking. Don balks, catching eyes with Allie and swiftly looking away, straight ahead. His throat is dry, and he blinks, “Y-yeah, I see her.”

“Allie said to me that she wasn’t going to dance with just anybody. Now, I’ve offered to dance with her if she doesn’t want to dance with anyone else but…,” Bobby turns in towards Don for emphasis. “Listen, Hume. Tonight, not tomorrow night, or next week. Tonight is your best shot.”

A beat passes, and Bobby thinks he’s convinced him.

“You go on. I think I’m okay.”

Bobby could smack Don Hume upside the head in an instant. “Christ sake,” he mutters, glancing again between Don and Allie. Don nods his head in quick succession, confirming he’s not changing his mind. Yeah, he and Allie had talked a good bit, and he had walked her to her dorm a few times after practice, but she had only kissed him on the cheek once. There’s no way that Allie liked him, he thought. He felt like she was just that nice to everyone. Defeated, Bobby huffs again, looking around the room. All the other guys were dancing with a girl. Well, Johnny and Roger were dancing together, but Bobby could still count that as dancing with someone.

A lightbulb goes off in his head, and before he could think again, Bobby shoots off the bench and towards the stage. Quickly cutting the music off, he steps up to the microphone.

“Hey, listen up!”

The crowd stops dancing and turns to the commotion on stage, Allie included.

“We got a musician in our midst. With a little encouragement, we might just get him to give us some live music. Don Hume! Get up here. Get up here!”

The crew rushes around Don and despite his protests, they drag him up by his arms and carry him towards the stage. As they’re settling him down around the piano, Bobby motions to Chuck, quietly telling him to go find Allie and to bring her upfront. Chuck dashes off, racing through the crowd before finding the young girl towards the back of the room. She gives him an odd look when he stops abruptly in front of her, slightly winded from his frantic search.

“Moch is requesting that you come up front,” Chuck makes a grand gesture of holding his arm out for her to take, which she does hesitantly. Bobby had something in play, and she was suspicious. In a way, Bobby thought that above all else, if he could get both Don and Allie to let loose with a little fun and music, then he could call his plan a partial success. He hoped, however, that Don’s little performance might give him some courage. Don settles in at the piano and looks out to the crowd, just as Allie steps into place between Bobby and Chuck.

He forces himself not to freak out with Allie front and center. He glances back at the piano then back to Bobby, then to Allie. She looked beautiful. Her hair is down, blonde curls falling down her shoulders, and right then and there, Don decides that dark green is his new favorite color. Her full attention is on him, and for those few seconds, he felt like he was in heaven. Tearing himself away, he turns to the piano fully and takes a few deep breaths. This is it, he thought.

Before he can second guess himself, he starts off the first tune that comes to mind- the same tune that Allie had been humming to herself at practice. Don played the first few notes and Allie broke out into a huge smile, recognizing the tune immediately. Soon everyone was dancing and singing along with the JV crew singing the loudest. Enamored with Don’s newfound confidence, Allie could hardly look away even with Bobby, Chuck, and Roger taking turns twirling her around every so often.

They could dance and sing all night, but as Don plays the final notes and the song comes to an end, the crowd erupts in cheers. For a few moments, Don takes in the cheers and applause before he turns to the crowd and bows his head, looking up with a smug smirk. Quite the opposite of his usual shy smile. Allie catches his gaze when he looks up. She’s hooked the second they lock eyes. She almost feels dizzy when Don’s smug smirk is accompanied by a quick wink in her direction. A deep blush rushes to her face, her lip taut between her teeth. Now, she’s the one in heaven.

When Don descends from the stage, he’s greeted by more celebration from the boys grabbing him up and patting him on the back with each telling him how great of a job he did. Others from the crowd doing the same. Allie stood aside, waiting her turn to congratulate him after all the boys did. Once the crowd had settled down, Don finally turned to Allie.

“That was amazing! You were amazing!”

Someone must’ve turned the big band music back on and turned the volume up because Don could barely hear what Allie was saying. All he could tell was that she was excited and had a huge smile on her face, his smile mirrored hers. He shook his head, raising his voice,

“What?”

She tried repeating herself, but between the music and the crowd they were stuck in the middle of, neither could hear each other. Allie huffs after another failed attempt and grabs Don by the hand. Dragging Don behind her, much like a lost puppy, Allie makes her way outside where it is quieter. Once they make it outside and she doesn't feel the need to yell, Allie turns to Don,

“Geez, It’s too loud in there after all that. I have been trying to say that your performance was amazing and you’re amazing! Where did you learn to play?”

“I’ve been playing since I was little,” Don shrugs, a smile still stuck on his face. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. That was a lot of fun, but uh don’t tell Bobby I said that. He’ll be dragging me up on stage at every party.”

Allie laughs, “I promise I won’t tell Bobby.”

A few beats of silence fall between them as they just take each other in. An idea spurs in Don’s head. The music from inside can be heard softly from their spot on the top landing of the steps just outside the doors.

“Do you want to dance? It’s too loud in there, but it’s not so bad out here.”

Allie nods eagerly, “I’d love to.”

Softly taking her hand in his, Don gently pulls Allie in towards him. Swaying gently to the music, neither of them breaks their comfortable silence for a few moments. Resting her head on his collar, the pair are closer than ever. Ignoring the fuzzy feeling in her stomach, Allie is the first to speak up. “You did really great today, Don. You and the whole crew. I have a good feeling about this year.”

“Thank you, today felt good. It was fun,” Don replies. “It felt nice to have someone there cheering me on too. I’d win every race if it meant you were at the finish line.”

“Well,” Allie smiles bashfully, looking up at Don, “Don’t go around telling the crew I have a favorite. They’ll all get jealous.”

Don chuckles, “I won’t tell.”

Even in the dim lighting, the two are fighting off a blush, hoping the other won't see. To distract them both, Don steps back and raises his arm, letting Allie twirl in place a few times. Her soft giggle fills his ears as her dress flares slightly, making Don smile. His voice is quiet, almost as if he’s saying it to himself,

“You look beautiful.” A beat passes. “You always do.”

Allie’s breath gets caught in her throat, as Don pulls her back to him. Her voice is equally as quiet when she looks up at him and replies,

“Thank you.” Allie hesitates after finishing her sentence, trying to find the courage for her next words. “Don, I-“

She can barely get Don’s name out before a familiar voice rings out,

“Hey, lovebirds! Might want to come back inside, they just brought out a cake with all our names on it!”

Huffing at Bobby’s rude interruption, Allie steps away from Don slightly, who rolls his eyes at the coxswain. He wants to pull Allie back to him as she steps away. He keeps their hands connected, but his eyebrows are furrowed, “You were saying?”

Allie shakes her head, smiling softly, “It can wait, let’s get inside.”

…

Eeekkk! I couldn't decide if things were going to go further, but I'm feeling a slow burn for this one. More chapters to come!

#don hume #boys in the boat #don hume x oc #don hume x original character #don x alllie #jack mulhern #don hume x reader

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hemeruni · 3 days

Text

Well. Here’s what I’ve been planning on doing… I’d like to introduce you all to-

The FIRST ANNUAL tumblr User hemeruni direct, a special event where I get to actually go into more detail about the projects I’m currently more so focused on, while giving important news to what’s next on our menus.

Now let’s go ahead and get this show rolling shall we?

NURSE PHILLY UPDATES

As you know, Nurse Philly has been placed on the back burner for a while as I took the time to work on my other projects. But, starting today, I’m working full speed ahead to officially get the Askblog up and rolling! The scripting process has been tough, but a rough outline has been finished and a overall timeline of arcs and events are all laid out, so it shouldn’t be long for you all to see the nurse in person!

I’m not the type to give out dates, but expect this hush puppy to start around mid-late 2024.

Alright we’re getting the hang of things! What’s next?

GLIMMERLOVE NEWS

This project started as a one off post that quickly spiraled into one of my favorite projects thus far under the hemeruni brand. While there isn’t plans to get a Askblog rolling anytime soon, the askbox will always be open for asking questions to these mysterious folk.

This project doesn’t have much besides that, but if things change revolving my work ethic, I’ll surely consider it.

No date on this one, as it’s currently in a fine state from where I’m seeing it.

HAPPY HATCHDAY HEMMY!!!

By the time I’m writing this, Hemera’s birthday is still ongoing and it might honestly been the most exciting days I’ve had in a long time, considering the fact that I’ve just… haven’t been active as much.

This fox means so much to me and I have Sparklecare and only Sparklecare to thank for creating such a wonderful creature that deserves everything wonderful on this blue marble of a planet.

I love you Hemmy, don’t stop being you.

Me and Uni are making a coffee shop au

Yeah idk what else to say

It’s news to me but I’m just posting this since I thought the idea was funny.

Personal au?? I think?? Only WE get to make one not YOU /J

Now. I mentioned something at the beginning of the whole thing about a change that is going to happen. Before we end this, I might as well say what I want to say.

The Future.

I’m breaking away from this community, for my own mental sake. I’m saying this with a heavy heart, knowing that this whole 'fame' thing isn’t something I enjoy. Besides fame, I’ve been so caught up in comments and reblogs that it mentally drains me to see one post that I spent less time on doing better then one I actually put my effort into.

This culminated in a unfollow from the official Sparklecare account that I’m still assuming is over the criticblog situation. Nevertheless, it left me bed ridden for weeks, realizing that what I worked so hard for was taken from my own dumb mistake.

That taught me a valuable lesson though, which is why I’m finally deciding to just cut contact with the community entirely, besides friend groups and servers I’m in you won’t really see me active on my main, mostly just au updates.

That also means I’m no longer reblogging stuff to my main account, but I’ve already came up with a solution revolving a account called hemerunireblogs (which will be linked later down the line)

That’s the most you’ll see me interacting with this community, I hope you can understand.

Now.

We’ve reached an absolute.

The End.

I wish things could’ve been different, but it’s either I continue down this path and further ruin myself for others sakes, or I finally start to work on myself again. In the end, I decided to choose myself. Call me selfish, I could care less.

For some, I’d like to wish the best, even though we may have not talked much, I’d love to see you again sometime soon.

You all have been a wonderful audience, I hope you all had a wonderful Hemmy Hatchday. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight my friends.

-Mx. Hemmy

#my art #sparklecare #hemera philly #hemeruni #uni cornelius #nurse philly #Glimmerlove au #text post #ramblings #long post

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zayne-li · 22 hours

Text

Cross posted on AO3, may be edited in the future, it was written very shortly after the game actually came out.

Explicit, MDNI.

Zayne gets injured, MC saves him, and Zayne has very normal feelings about it.

Feelings like: femdom, etc.

"Zayne! Zayne! Can you hear me? Come on, get up, you have to get up, we need to go now!"

The world is fuzzy at the edges, and there's a tinny sort of ringing in his ears, but he hears his hunters voice. She's upset. Why?

Arms stronger than they should be tug at the lapels of his white doctors coat, dragging him up off the concrete, and he blinks hard several times. His head is swimming.

Zayne groans, deep and low as his awareness slowly returns, able to blearily look around and recall that right, yes, we were at my favorite sweets shop... And then...

"I know it hurts, Zayne, but I really, really need you to get up right now." That's her voice again, and then he can see her. Right in front of him, holding him halfway off the ground. There's blood smeared across her lips, cheek, and eye, and her hair is ashy with dust, no hint of the real color underneath it all.

It occurs to him that it's concerning he can't recall what exactly has happened. Was it Wanderers? Some sort of accident? A weak cough escapes him as his shoes scrape across the loose pebbles on the road.

Everything hurts. Like one giant bruise all over his body. But he is slowly regaining his senses. He does have at least that.

All around them is destruction: rubble and dust and shouts for loved ones piercing through the fog. The air smells and tastes metallic as his hunter helps him up onto shaky feet, hoisting one of his arms over her shoulder and wrapping the other around his middle.

"Can you walk? We need to get you to Akso now."

Her pupils are blown, and eyes wild. It's a look he hasn't seen on her before. Despite the pain and danger they are in, there is something about her in this very moment(maybe the blood, the adrenaline, this demeanor he's never seen before) that makes his gut clench.

Ought to dissect that later, he thinks. Then again, perhaps not.

"Akso?" His voice is rough, throat sticky with dust.

"Yes, you broke at least two of your ribs in that explosion, you need medical care, do you understand?"

His eyes drop down to hers, and he realizes just how much they are touching in this moment. All the way from their feet to her head, becoming a long line of heat down the right side of his body.

What timing, Doctor Li.

"I understand." He confirms to her, and plants his gaze firmly ahead of them, forcing his attention onto the task at hand rather than the way that look in her eyes makes him feel.

Weeks later he is still recalling that day, though who can blame him, confined to bed rest as he is? Three broken ribs and a full month of leave from the hospital, it's difficult to find ways to entertain himself.

Zayne closes his eyes and he sees her covered in sweat, that single minded determination carving deep lines into her face. If she'd had to, she would have dragged his limp body to the doors of the hospital. It was a look that told him, "I'm not losing you too. Not today." It was that look that had given him the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

It aroused him deep in his gut, somewhere he hadn't even known existed.

It was disturbing, in more ways than one.

He'd begun to have dreams.

Dreams of her coming home to his apartment, the door closing with more force than necessary, her dirty boots crossing through the kitchen with purpose. And when she found that purpose, she would have that same look on her face. In some of the dreams she'd still have blood on her face, and she'd lick the droplets away, just as she did while she labored to save his life that day.

She would grab him by the knot of his tie, stifling his surprise with a bruising kiss, plundering his mouth like a woman starved, using her unexpected strength to push him back against the wall, to cover him with her smaller frame. He would moan into her throat and her lips would curve into a smile against his.

One night, he wakes around four in the morning after dreaming of his hunters battle lust and he finds himself in an uncomfortable, sticky mess.

Zayne knows he loves her. He has since he was a boy, that has never changed, but through the years, his crush has waxed and waned, but remained fundamentally childlike. It hasn't been until they reconnected this past year that he'd even begun to let his thoughts drift to more unsavory places. And now... Well he determines that this new... Discovery of his remain well and firmly hidden.

Her presence in his life is too precious to waste with his depraved imagination.

After all, while he's been bored and cooped up in his apartment, with strict instructions from every person in his life to "Sit and rest, for once!" She has been visiting him almost daily. Usually not for long, as her own work keeps her extraordinarily busy(he supposes he's never noticed just how hard and much she works before, because he himself is often entrenched in his own), but always with an easy smile and some sort of treat for him. Chocolate, or cookies, one afternoon a little fruit tart from a vendor she passed on her way to see him.

Most of the time, it is no challenge for him to recognize that her friendship is far, far too valuable to risk losing.

Today, she knocks on his door, and when he opens it, he almost forgets.

She's a mess.

There's a fairly large, but shallow cut across most of her face, from her cheek down to her chin, her hair is pulled up haphazardly, the leather glove she normally wears is missing, and her clothes, though neat, have small tears across one of her knees, and her shoulder.

Zayne swallows before he greets her.

"Difficult day?"

She exhales a chuckle. "Just a long one, sorry. I was going to go home to clean up, but by then it would have been pretty late, and I was already nearby when I finished, so I thought I'd just uh... Drop in."

She's sheepish, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand, and Zayne forces himself to look away, making eye contact with the corner of the wall instead. There's a chip in the paint.

"Really, you needn't trouble yourself on my behalf, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You require rest as well as I."

What would it feel like, right now, to have her press up against him? Warm. Solid, he thinks. Would she grab him by his jaw? Turn his face this way and that?

He imagines how she would taste. Salty and metallic, he thinks, especially now. His hunter, shoving him onto his back in his bed, she would be impatient, barely taking the time to undo their pants before sheathing herself on his cock, using her palms on his chest for leverage to fuck herself as she pleased.

"Yeah, well then we might as well rest together, huh?"

She pulls him from his depraved thoughts.

Zayne realizes that the heat between his legs, if not controlled soon, will become a much larger problem(no pun intended).

"You have quite the knack for turning phrases, you know." His tone stays even, and he turns away, inviting her inside without another word, his excuse being the television in his living room that needs muting.

"And you never have this much time off. It's kinda fun, really."

He hears the click of the door shutting, and the turn of the lock.

"I brought you something, too."

Thud on the kitchen counter. Whatever it is, it sounds hefty. While he pretends to look for his remote, he adjusts himself in his pants, burning with shame for this predicament.

"What is it this time?"

"Brownies! Salted caramel flavored. They're my favorite."

She appears quite suddenly in the corner of his vision, and he jumps, feeling his face grow hot.

"Thoughtful as always." He smiles, and hits the mute button on another story of wanderer attacks.

His hunter frowns, leaning her body around to get a good look at him.

"Something's wrong. What's wrong?" Her tone leaves no room for arguments, and Zayne's eyes go a bit wide just for a moment.

"What makes you think anything is wrong? Other than my broken ribs?" He doesn't realize it, but he imitates her in the way he tilts his head. The mirth in her eyes makes his chest ache.

"You're blushing, Doctor Zayne." Her tongue pokes out from between her teeth with her smile.

"Perhaps I'm coming down with a fever." He counters.

She squints, but moves away, rolling not just her eyes, but her whole head. "Oooh-kay. Then perhaps I should leave, huh? Keep you from spreading your virus all over Linkon?"

His mouth opens, but he has no immediate response.

"Uh-huh." She oozes with smugness.

God he wants her. Whether in his dreams, or right now, either will do. He's wanted her for so long. And now she's so close. Zayne feels his entire chest go tight with longing. He wants everything with her. For her.

He wants her to be with him always. If he could put a tiny little hunter in his pocket and keep her there he would, just so he could pull her out when he likes to soothe the ache in his soul that she both creates and fills in equal measure.

He wants her just like this, messy and stinking of rain and sweat and blood, he wants her sweetness, her humor, her easy charisma.

And God he wants her to claim him. He wants the battle lust, her fingernails deep in his scalp, the stinging on his back. He wants her to take whatever she likes from him, his body, his soul, his everything.

"I wasn't blushing. You are mistaken." Somehow he keeps his voice even and calm, though inside he fights to keep from pouncing on her.

Down, boy.

Recognition flashes across her face.

And then a flurry of emotions he has trouble naming. Confusion, shock, and something else he can't define, but it reminds him of the day they were in that explosion, and she became someone he didn't know.

His hunter steps forward, further into his space, and on instinct, Zayne steps back, his swallow loud in the quiet apartment.

She must see something on his face. Fear, he thinks. And her expression of bewilderment changes as her gaze flickers rapidly across his features, first his eyes, his mouth, the bob in his throat, the fist clenched at his side, and then back to his mouth.

Her movements are slow as she takes another step forward, as if she's afraid to spook him, like one would a wild animal. She grabs the front of his shirt, and he swallows back a whine.

His hunter sees this too.

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"You frighten me sometimes."

Do I, Doctor Zayne?" Her eyes are dark, and she pulls him down to her, tilting her head just so, and holds him a hairsbreadth away from her lips.

He can taste her breath. It makes his knees weak. God, if you are there, don't wake me from this dream.

#lads zayne #love and deepspace #zayne #zayne x reader #zayne x you

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elffees · 1 day

Text

How Fragile Allyship is Portrayed in Frontiers of Pandora

So I really love this audio log from Priya and needed to talk about it. This entire post will be based on this log.

Transcript:

"I ... it's Priya. Obviously. I don't know what day it is. Nothing makes sense... Alma's dead. Alma. Is. Dead.

Oh wow. That's weird. But you know what the really weird, screwy part is? There's this whole other Alma just walking around. Except she's not blue and she's got tiny eyes. Do we all have such tiny eyes? I just ... I feel like good Alma was killed. And we're left with this other one who everyone hates. But really it's the same person. Or is it?

I don't know what to think. I'm not really the one for existential crises, but this is a real brain-breaker. And I'm ... I'm sad. My friend died. No. No. She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right. I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She was protecting them. She tried. Right? Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure. And that other Alma... she wants to hang out, just like old times. But... she's not my friend. Not— I think I hear someone. Signing off."

This audio log can be found in the Resistance Hideout.

I really like this log because it encapsulates the different ways allies & marginalized peoples view and are affected by certain situations.

Disclaimer before I start: I am not saying Priya is a bad person, nor am I saying allies are bad people.

For starters, I can understand why Priya, and likely other Resistance members, have mixed feelings towards Alma. It's a very complex situation. So Priya regarding it as "weird" and being at a complete loss makes sense.

What I want to focus on in this post are the last 3 paragraphs. Where she expresses confusion and hurt because "Good Alma was murdered".

I think this right here is a very well written distinction on how allies and the marginalized communities they assist experience situations differently.

Alma's Reveal

Everyone had their worlds turned upside down when Alma confessed the full extent of her actions in TAP. Alma admits that her avatar was a tool for manipulation. Although she may care for the Sarentu children now, for the majority of their relationship, from the genocide, to TAP, to being frozen and left behind, Alma's avatar was a tool to manipulate and coerce Na'vi into viewing her (and by extension TAP, then later the Resistance) as "one of them". As someone to trust and relate to. The purpose of her having an avatar was to act as a golden ticket into Na'vi society.

Alma was not "murdered". There is no "good" or even "bad" Alma. There is only Alma.

The human who played a role in the massacre of a clan, then manipulated its survivors for years, then left them behind to remain in stasis for nearly 2 more decades.

Who is also the human who founded the Western Resistance and tried to band together several Na'vi clans to protect Pandora, who encouraged the Sarentu to reclaim their culture and customs the ones that didn't expose her ofc, and who helped rid Pandora of cackling narcissist John Mercer.

There is only ONE Alma that has done all of these things.

Alma was not "murdered". Her tool of manipulation was destroyed. The object, the mask, the weapon that gave Alma her power and confidence and that helped her fool not only the Sarentu, not only the Resistance, but also herself into thinking she was something she was not, was taken from her.

Alma was not murdered. She was thrust back into reality.

And so, Priya's last 3 paragraphs interest me. It's completely fine that she mourns the image of who she thought Alma was. In a way I think the Sarentu (sans Nor) do as well. Everyone thought Alma was just a good person who only wanted to help with no ulterior motives. It's painful to realize that was far from the case.

But then Priya goes on to hate Nor. She spits his name out like a curse. Glad he's gone because "he never liked them anyway". That he had no right to "murder" Alma because she only did a few "bad things".

There's a lot to unpack there.

Priya's Blaming of Nor & It's Ties to Fragile Allyship

I want to break down the lines one by one.

She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right.

For starters, it is EXTREMELY COMMON for allies of marginalized communities to "insert their two cents" on a delicate topic. More often than not when there is inter-community issues, allies have a tendency to say the phrase: "I'm [insert demographic] so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, BUT I think..." Any and all oppressed classes have heard this phrase from MILLIONS of allies before.

The FOP writers did remarkably well at capturing what allyship looks like when writing the Resistance. Because Priya, as a human formerly part of the oppressive group trying to wipe out the Na'vi and Pandoran wildlife, fully believes she can judge whether Nor had a right or not.

It's not her call.

She cannot determine whether Nor was justified or not because she, as someone part of the privileged class in the world of the game, has never suffered from the harm that Alma's avatar has caused.

She, and none of the Resistance members, were raised by Alma's avatar.

They were not lied to by Alma's avatar for YEARS about the true fate of their families and loved ones.

They were not encouraged to view Alma as a mother-figure or nurturing teacher or beloved caretaker, when she was actually just eager for fame and success.

They were not put into cryosleep and then left behind for 16 MORE YEARS with suspicions that this abandonment was an intentional coverup.

They did not suffer any of that.

They saw her as the leader of the Resistance and as a friend, which does cause an impactful betrayal of course, but Alma's avatar never tried to force them to see her as family. As someone to love.

While Priya only says all this in a private audio log and thankfully doesn't say it to any of the Sarentu or god forbid So'lek, these are her thoughts. The simple fact she believes she can judge Nor, that she has the capacity and authority to scold one of the main victims, is a reoccurring feature of privileged allies who struggle to realize that they cannot relate or ever fully understand how marginalized communities experience oppression.

Priya says Nor had "no right" to "murder" Alma. When truthfully, Priya has no right to judge how the Sarentu feel and respond.

I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

After Priya attempts to place judgement on Nor's actions, she then dives deeper.

She is glad Nor is gone. Not ONLY because of what he did to Alma's avatar. No. She is also glad he's gone because Nor was not friendly.

Another prime instance of fragile allyship is that allies tend to believe that marginalized people are only worth their sympathy if they're likeable.

This has a lot ties to the "Perfect Victim" concept.

Because Nor was not friendly, because his trauma caused him to distrust humans and he did not quickly get over it and befriend Resistance members, he is undeserving of as much sympathy as the other Sarentu.

It's seen as a positive that he's gone (despite the fact he ran away in clear emotional distress.) Not just because of what he did to Alma's avatar, but because now Priya and the Resistance no longer have to assist someone that's "ungrateful" and "not as nice" as they should be.

The purpose of being an ally is to help oppressed classes survive against circumstances that would otherwise have them discriminated against or have them dead. Being a truly good ally should not hinder on whether the person is "likeable" or "grateful" for their services. But sadly, in the real world, that is one of the most common "conditions" a LOT of allies have when it comes to offering support. How much they like the person or groups they claim to want to help.

Allyship is more often than not based on likeability, rather than morality.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She tried. Right?

Another feature of fragile allyship is the tendency to change sides.

Priya agrees that what Alma did was wrong. She understands that.

But because of the simple fact that Alma is human, Priya not only relates but tries to defend Alma's actions. Seeing herself in Alma is understandable because they are both human and were friends. The problem comes when Priya begins to project and defend Alma's actions.

It doesn't matter that by her own admission Alma's main goals were fame and achievement. It doesn't matter how much the Sarentu are hurt by her actions. It doesn't matter that Nor was outraged. It doesn't matter that even calm and collected Ri'nela was disgusted. It doesn't matter HOW the Sarentu, as the direct victims, feel about Alma's actions. It doesn't matter that intent ≠ impact.

Alma is human like Priya, so from Priya's POV, Alma's 'intentions' hold more value than how the Sarentu were impacted. "We're" trying to help. Alma was trying to help. So her actions can't have been that bad. Right?

Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure.

And finally, this is another feature of how allies tend to respond to things.

Of the two, Mercer is the one who unabashedly committed the massacre and oppressed the Sarentu for years. Mercer is "the bad one" because his actions are overt. They are clear cut, obvious, and maniacally evil.

When real world marginalized groups face microaggressions or covert prejudice, allies have a tendency to step in and defend the offender. "Hm, I don't think that was racist." "Are you sure that's homophobic?" "It's just a word. I don't see how it can be ableist to say." - "It's not like it's really hurting anyone."

When oppression is not as clear cut to allies, they tend to dismiss it entirely. It doesn't matter how the victims feel about the situation. As discussed earlier in the post, allies tend to think they have the authority and capability to make judgements on prejudice they do not face, and ergo believe they can determine how "bad" something really is. Better than the marginalized class can themselves.

In Priya's eyes, Alma is better than Mercer because Mercer's oppression was harsh yelling, explosions, and murder. "Mercer's the bad one" while Alma was "only trying to help."

But in truth, both Mercer and Alma have done and continued to do harmful things. They both played a part in the decimation and continued manipulation of the Sarentu. Both for their own selfish purposes.

Oppression has many faces. It does not always look the same, it is not always a mustache twirling villain. It can be subtle and quiet. It can be hidden behind gentle eyes and smiles. It can be from "good intentions" just as easily as it comes from "bad intentions". It can be subconscious, it can be self aware, it can be secretive, it can be out in the open. It can be many things. There is not only "one bad" style.

Oppression is just as diverse as the communities it aims to harm.

Conclusion

I want to reiterate that I do not dislike Priya and this post isn't a hate campaign against her. I know many dudebros in the fanbase unfairly criticize her.

The point of this post is to applaud the FOP writers. It is very rare when mainstream media is able to accurately depict how fragile allyship is. Priya's reaction to Nor stabbing Alma's avatar is painfully realistic to the many ways allies have reacted to certain situations in the real world.

This is one of the many reasons why I love this game and feel it hits home. Not only can I relate to the Na'vi clans, but my god can I relate to the way allies are written in relation to them. And I feel like this audio log from Priya, while brief and easily missable, is one of the prime moments of realism this game portrays really well.

#it's such a minor audio log / note #but it really hit me and i just had to talk abt it #frontiers of pandora #avatar frontiers of pandora #afop #priya chen #alma cortez #lexi plays afop #long text post //#long post //#sorry lol

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quillyfied · 1 day

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Alright, reacting messy and all over the place to this trailer, LET’S GO:

Okay, strong opening: hooded figures (one of whom is checking his watch, which is hilarious, but the skin of the hand also looks red, so probably demons?), red background (good argument for Pride), Blitzo getting IMP out of dodge and then IMMEDIATELY crashing the van, good for you bud I’m so proud (but not as proud as I am of Moxxie chewing Blitzo out without a single “sir” thrown in there). Couldn’t begin to guess when this takes place, but since the van is crunched up later during a bit that is, I am 99% sure, Ghostfuckers, then this is probably Apology Tour. Hooded figures might not have anything to do at all with the gang running for it.

FIZZ THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A SEX TOY THAT IS TOO BIG. I’m not sure if you’ve found it but it’s close :P Lots of fun little clips, though Moxxie dodging a blue fire explosion in Lust doesn’t look good.

DHORKS AND CHERUB WORKING TOGETHER I KNEW IT I HECKING KNEW IT I’M SO MAD I NEVER MADE A POST ABOUT IT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SO CERTAIN OF IT FOR MONTHS NOW. AAAARGH. AND I CAN’T PROVE IT!! But look at Collin, he looks so unsure compared to the other two. Poor guy. Okay, Blitzo is leaving a card of some sort in front of Agent One, and he’s using the crystal, so this is very much giving me Mastermind vibes (or even Sinsmas, if it's after the conflict and this is just Blitzo messing with them now). Humans being able to open a portal to Hell…that ain’t good!

Something coming at the gang from…looks like their office? And it’s round and spiky…could be whatever it is that’s making them go on the run, whenever that is (Apology Tour is my current guess).

CLETUS IS IRON MAN NOW.

(Listen I’ve been having visions about Blitzo being on trial for stirring up so much crap in the human world that it’s started to have repercussions in Hell so the fact that there seems to be a meeting or trial of some sort later having to do with Stolas is making me think maybe I’m a prophet. I’ll maybe explain more later in a different post but dropping it here bc it’s part of my thought process right now.)

Blitzo why did you give your fake ID such a rack and then neglect it as part of your human disguise XD I’m disappointed in you, babe. I’m also wondering what in the unholy hell a demon wants with a haunted house on Earth (and if that’s Leviathan like many people have been speculating, what is A DEADLY SIN doing in a HAUNTED HOUSE on EARTH???). (Also that is the single most awkward angle of Blitzo of all time, why on earth is he wearing white leggings because if he was naked we would be seeing some pixelation here…unless imps can retract their junk, which I’m open to.)

Ooh, quick shot of Loona operating a machine gun in Lust! Nice! (Hey quick Q where’s Blitzo in all of this??)

Helloooooo, Vassago! Excited to meet you! Really looks like there’s some sort of trial or meeting in Pride and Stolas might be either the topic of discussion or literally on trial, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all to have Andrealphus trying to get Stolas demoted or something similar without Stolas even being there. So Vassago actually wanting him present looks good on him for now. But this is a trailer, things can be misleading, but anyone who looks that fed up when dealing with Andrealphus can’t be all that bad :P Thinking this is also during Mastermind, or possibly Sinsmas.

Okay, first really significant shot I’m noticing of short-sleeve Blitzo makes me think it might be Full Moon, because he’s sort of off to the side while the focus is on Stolas talking about how this transactional thing between them isn’t right anymore. Though. Hmm. Stolas is in full regalia for this. And there’s a shot later of short-sleeve Blitzo trying to go for Stolas’ hand and winding up outside (portal? Didn’t seem like it) and Stolas is in his robe when that happens. Musical number with metaphorical sequences?

Sun/moon seems to be during Apology Tour, if that’s when Stolas and Verosika are on a stage together.

And short-sleeve Blitzo with a Dankee Candle, good on you man XD (that’s been one of the more compelling arguments for short-sleeve Blitzo being during Sinsmas, not Full Moon, because gift-giving, but the bits of deep conversation that keep happening with Blitzo in short sleeves sound very much like a conversation that needs to happen during Full Moon and I can’t imagine they’ll wait an entire season for it).

Now the heart-rending bit that’s definitely during a musical number with kiddo Stolitz and then grownup Stolitz, currently voiced over that heart-stabbing “you think you can toy with our feelings because we’re smaller and less important” monologe from Blitzo, it’s FINE I’M FINE (Though…looking really closely…I am not sure if that’s when that monologue occurs? The mouth movements ever so slightly don’t match up. But animation technically has some leeway when it comes to that kind of thing.)

OKAY CALLING IT NOW, TEEN BLITZO AND TILLA SCENE IS DURING GHOSTFUCKERS. I don’t even think it’s a flashback, I just think Blitzo’s brain is being fucked with and he’s seeing his mom and visually reverting back to a teenager. The carpet behind Blitzo and the lighting are mostly what I’m basing this on. Also how fucked up would it be if Blitzo sees a ghost of his mom only for it to reflect his internal monologue about how terrible he is back at him, amirite :P

Okay sassy short-robe Stolas is Apology Tour, calling it now; he and Blitzo have “we’re about to hatefuck” energy off the charts and Stolas in particular is being so bitchy and petty-looking. And angry. And kinda sad. Am I ready for their breakup era to be full of bickering? Yes. Yes I am. I’m also skeptical that the smile that’s on Blitzo’s face during Stolas’ sarcastic little bow is going to be the expression on his face when the episode comes out, but I’m ready to be surprised.

HELLOOOOOO NURSE! YES TODAY SATAN! (Deeply curious about who’s the disgrace, have a current bet going on whether it’s Ozzie or possibly even Stolas, but I could be pleasantly surprised and it’s Mammon :P) Pretty sure the trial/meeting is happening during Sinsmas, actually, it would be too funny to call an episode that when introducing a new Sin. Also short moment to appreciate that Mammon brings fidgets to meetings, of course he does. My guy. My dude. Also his reaction is what makes me think Satan is talking to Ozzie, because Mammon would have no reason to look that gleeful at anyone but Ozzie.

WHERE DID BLITZO GET THAT SWORD THO. (AND ALSO HOW BADLY IS IT ACTUALLY GONNA FUCK UP ANDREALPHUS’ WHOLE DAY BECAUSE THAT’S DEFINITELY ANDREALPHUS ABOUT TO COME DOWN ON THEM LIKE A SACK OF FROZEN HAMMERS) Blitzo trying to protect Stolas, kill me ;A; Stolas looks like he’s in regalia, though sans cloak or hat…why is he at Andrealphus’ place, and why is it looking like he can’t fight back? Stripped of his powers, maybe? Anyway this is Sinsmas, no doubt about it, it’s got season finale energy.

If the haunted house guy is actually Leviathan, I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Why is IMP in Lust getting attacked by CHERUB/DHORKS? I have more questions.

“Everyone’s shitty, we live in Hell!” Valid, but also, cop-out.

I’m very curious about what is making Blitzo make that face, because it’s not the cake; it looks like Verosika is cutting it but then she’s also sitting next to him on the railing where he’s sitting, so…? Anyway, it’s Apology Tour, and can I just say how EXCITED I am to get to know more about what happened with Blitzo and Verosika and maybe see some closure for them both on that front? Because YIKES their dynamic means there is a good, juicy story behind it. But also, Blitzo why are you wearing a bloodstained sheet?? (Presumably to sneak around but why did he choose THAT OBJECT, is really my question.)

Millie fighting possibly possessed Blitzo and what appears to be a flashback to Millie and Blitzo’s first fight (could be a time skip but it makes more sense for it to be a flashback given Millie’s hair and Blitzo’s fashion) (side note but dammit why are they both so hot) let me know something new about myself, and it’s how very, very much I want to see Millie and Blitzo kicking the crap out of each other XD Blitzo and Moxxie got to spill their guts in a drug-induced hallucination; I want Blitzo and Millie to fight each other bloody. They’re bonding and sharing deep intimate feelings, guys :P

And the Millie voiceover where she’s telling Blitzo how much he takes from others? Probably during whatever weird hallucination (PLEASE be a hallucination) involves Millie with tied wrists, a branch in her hair, and a ton of glass sticking out of her eye. Ghostfuckers, perhaps? Would make the most sense but how much stuff could that episode POSSIBLY have, oh my word.

(Short-sleeved Blitzo dropping a ton of paperwork on Moxxie also makes me think that’s his date outfit for Full Moon; can’t do this mountain of paperwork, sorry Mox, he has a daaaaate)

Panning to Verosika at the part when she gets to “and leave them worse than when you found them” holy HELL

“Do you feel any remorse for the things you do” yeah somehow I think that’s aimed at Blitzo, y’all. Just from what we’ve seen of Stolas in that particular robe and his general expressions and actions that whole time, and the fact that he seems to be talking to Blitzo (if not an imagining of Blitzo) the whole time. But it panning to Andrealphus about to go super Saiyan does make me laugh super hard actually (bc NO THAT BITCH DOES NOT).

ENTIRE MOMENT OF BREATHLESS SILENCE FOR OCTAVIA CALLING STOLAS OUT. It’s been so complexly beautiful to watch this show not shy away from how much self-hatred and low self-worth hurts loved ones too, and especially to watch that play out with how Octavia and Stolas’ relationship is changing and hurting from Stolas himself changing and hurting, but to have it called out so bluntly really makes me wonder what in the high holy heck is about to happen and when this conversation takes place. I have a horror that it’s during Mastermind or whenever the trial/meeting is, because perhaps Andrealphus and Stella manage to turn Via on Stolas and tell her that whatever is about to happen to Stolas is deserved or for the best, but. Uh. Hmm. Hmmmm. (Because all of Stolas’ power and possessions passing to Via doesn’t mean that Via is old enough or prepared for them and giving them to her would put all that power somewhere that is potentially much easier to manipulate/control, but I have a lot of thoughts about how Stella feels about Via and how that colors how Andrealphus treads around the subject of Via when talking to Stella about her and it’s not for this trailer reaction.)

(Apology Tour involving not just apologizing to Verosika, but to Stolas, too? I can only hope, though it’ll be far from simple; I don’t think Stolitz is going to sort out their issues and get together fully this season, but I’m hoping for some steps.)

(Also PLEASE can we get some Stella development that maybe sheds some dimension on her spoiled brat personality)

VIA SONG VIA SONG VIA SONG VIA SONG (maybe about her own magic and her life and how it all kinda fell apart so fast even as she’s growing up so fast poor girl)

Pretty sure the mirrors shattering thing is happening during the Stolas Apology Tour song, but we’ll see. Gosh there’s gonna be a lot of songs this half of the season.

Millie getting a short is such a good thing for her as a character, but I also love that she’s getting an episode with Blitzo, because out of everyone at IMP, I’ve been waiting for her to be the one that Blitzo has a major breakdown in front of; seems like Ghostfuckers is going to give me my wish! I don’t think she’s gonna coddle him or be overly sweet about it, but I do think she has a way of getting through to him and handling him in a way he wouldn’t let Moxxie do and couldn’t handle Loona doing either. Tough love but sweet? Idk man. Unless this is the moment he starts getting possessed. Who knows.

I am SO CURIOUS about who is going through the movie of Blitzo’s past traumas where he ruins the lives of everyone he loves; I’ve heard speculation that it’s haunted house dude, which would match up with Blitzo having a nervous breakdown in Ghostfuckers, but I dunno.

Oh that soft Blitzo look from under the bloodstained sheet. Oh that happy smiling Stolas that I’m now more convinced is taking place in the same general episode, if not sequentially after each other like that. Blitzo goes from looking so miserable to maybe looking more hopeful. Or perhaps yearning. I’m not sure how to interpret the expression, it’s just really heart-wrenching okay. And Stolas is wearing the same outfit as he is when he’s onstage with Verosika so what even IS this episode.

The very businesslike way Stolas says “Thank you, Blitzo” before he softens up makes me think THAT is what’s gonna finish up the Full Moon argument, but it does make me wonder what on earth Blitzo says that gets Stolas acting the way he does in potentially the very next episode.

Overall it’s a well-produced trailer that I’m sure we’re all going to be dissecting frame by frame for a long time! Whee!

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers

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heymacy · 1 month

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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

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deoidesign · 23 days

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FUCK-

#yknow the best thing about unlocking the part of my brain that lets me self reblog things #I can post at 1 am #and it's like.. fine #like it doesnt matter...#cause I'll make you see it again in the morning #I did a full drawing of this one but I think it looks better cropped #gets the energy in there properly #I can post the full one later but I think I like this more! like the full one is fine it's just less dynamic #steve #time and time again #webtoon #ttawebcomic

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daddyplasmius · 7 months

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hand on my stupid heart flashbacks

this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)

When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.

He almost went back.

Almost.

He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.

He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.

Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.

Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー

The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.

While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.

Dad scrambled to shoot at him.

Danny fled.

His parents didn’t recognize him.

The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.

He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.

The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”

Everyone pointed at Sam.

Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.

This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.

The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.

Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.

Surely they would know him on sight.

“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.

Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”

Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.

He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?

They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.

It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.

Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.

VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.

Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.

#danny phantom #danny phantom au #danny phantom fanfiction #you know that gif of the wailing emoji dissolving? :Why:?#yeah that's what i do every time i remember i never finished HOMSH while i still had the style in my brain #feel free to steal this idea. please steal this idea. please write it i wanna see this idea so bad but im already writing another 100k+ fic #if y'all want me to post the full fic i can but. it is not finished & most likely never will be. sorry again #i won't lie. the haze i was in was a depressed one. i was. not in a good place At All when i wrote HOMSH #like the only part i remember actually writing was the panic attack scene & that's just barely #i reread the whole fic in the middle of the night months later while listening to Implode Alright by Built by Snow on repeat #yeah i cried. this one is funny but mostly it's just. mourning. grief. the works. it's a vent fic & also a. kind of. wishful fic #like. don't you just wish death wasn't so permanent. don't you wish you could tell them everything you wish you could #don't you wish you could just see them again #i'm actually writing this into a bigger ventier series currently called Let Grief Do Its Work #cuz i rewatched LUCIDS again recently & remembered what HOMSH was originally about. why i was writing it #i'm not calling it HOMSH cuz. HOMSHie is my baby. it's its own thing & i don't wanna ruin the vibes #reluctantly admitting i call an unfinished fanfic i don't remember writing... HOMSHie baby... in my head #yeah i have a cute nickname for my fic. what of it #it's 5am & i think i'll throw up if i think any more about posting unfinished unedited pieces of a fic so i'm going for it. cowabunga #go into the world. get your 2 notes you beautiful animal #*passes out*

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trashlie · 1 year

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ILY FP 210, 211, 212

WOOOOOOOF I’ve been holding off on writing this post, because I wanted to wait for this whole “episode” to fully come out. Quimchee revealed they were all meant to happen in one episode, but SO MUCH was happening in the episode that it was too long to do as the one. I... kind of wish I hadn’t waited because now there is SO MUCH for me to cover, so I’m going to do my best to keep this organized and coherent.

No lie, these go up there in my top episodes, especially 212. I have a feeling I might have some different feelings than others on this one...? We’ll see, I’m keen to hear how all of you are thinking and feeling about it. To me, these episodes really encapsulate a good 80% of the plot that we’ve been dealing with, and there’s some good reveals in here that have been a LONG time coming. I think everything is set up now for the time skip to come, and especially after all the events that transpired this arc (remember how this all started out so many moons ago with Nol going to the company Christmas party? That feels like it was years ago to what is happening now!) I am BEYOND excited to see what the time skips have in store for us!

Anyway, before I start spoiling things, let’s get into it!

Well and truly, I love this arc! It’s really capture so much of the story this bigger story has centered on - the relationship between Nol and Kousuke. This isn’t the root of the story, of course, but it’s a significant portion of what we’ve come to read for, I think, and I cannot tell you how much I love seeing the characters verbally acknowledge things they’ve swept under a rug.

212 felt especially raw to me - Kousuke’s confessions are tragic in the way of too little too late, and the realization that Nol was never against him, that he was always on the same side, that they could have been an incredible team may come to haunt him. That acknowledgement of his that nobody really liked him - no one else but the one person he had demeaned and devalued until he was truly nobody - really hit me like a sucker punch. I truly thought these were truths Kousuke wouldn’t be able to reach until he lost more, like his job or his sense of self, but I guess we can argue that he’s lost a lot of his sense of self; from the moment he punched Nol, it’s clear that he’s dissociating. That also serves to tell us how important this moment is for Kousuke, what it means to him, what Nol means to him.

Now, I’ll be upright honest with you guys, because I think this is where the difference of opinions will come in. I really enjoy stories with this kind of element of hatred and care so intricately interlaced in family or friends. There’s something about this sense of care being overwritten by jealousy so scathing it mutates into resentment and hatred and loathing. The way these two feelings battle out, the way ugly emotions are so strong they come to eclipse any hope for warmth. Idk it’s intriguing to me, it creates a compelling story.

And in Kousuke’s case, it is! A running theory has been that Kousuke treats Shinae the way he does because he is, subconsciously, treating her how he wishes he’d treated Nol. As the story went on and Kousuke’s ugliness started to come out more and more and his paranoia began to consume him, I think it was probably difficult for many to find credence in this theory - that there was no way Kousuke could have cared about Nol and transferred it to Shinae when he treated Nol how he did but I’m still here for the theory. It’s just that Kousuke’s ugliness was so strong, overwhelming, it eclipsed anything else.

Now I’m not saying I think Kousuke loves Nol or thinks of him as a brother, but rather I think deep down, he understood they were connected. As a child, Nol was the only person who didn’t treat Kousuke like an object - like a puppet or rich vending machine or influence to be gained. But how could Kousuke allow himself to think so favorably of Nol when he was so deeply rooted in jealousy?

This is what I find especially intriguing about their dynamic. Something I talk about a lot is that Nol and Kousuke are both the products of abuse - Kousuke is the way he is due to neglect and manipulation, and in turn he took that out on Nol. I’ve seen people say Kousuke doesn’t make sense to them, but he DOES and this episode really drove that home and confirmed a lot of things I’d felt.

Kousuke’s treatment of Nol all stems from Rand and his affair. Let’s look at it from Kousuke’s perspective. He has a father who is never around, and when he is he’s busy and always puts his career first. He rarely joins them for family time, there’s a rift between him and his wife. All young Kousuke wants is for his father to spend time with him, to be around, to notice him. His mother tells him things - if he’s a good boy Father will pay attention; if he wants his father’s attention he needs to be just like him; if he wants Father to care to notice he must be exactly like him. But his mother also says other thing - that there’s someone else, money is being wired to someone. At school people murmur similar things.

All he wants is his father’s approval, his father’s pride, his father’s attention, his father’s time. He must not be good enough, yet. He must not matter, yet. He’ll make sure he does, though. He’ll do exactly what his mother says, he’ll buckle down just like she tells him, he’ll make sure to become the perfect son that his father can be proud of.

So you can understand, then, why the discovery that the murmurs are true, that there’s another family, would shatter him the way it did, why it remains a point of breaking for him even as an adult, why he never really reconciles his father’s affair. How is it that the man who has no time for him or their family, had enough time to create a second family? Why was he so undeserving of his time? Why was he so undeserving of his attention?

And it rooted deep inside him, right in the core of his foundation. This other boy who describes his father as someone who couldn’t possibly be the same man as his father - a funny man, a kind man. That is not the father Kousuke knows, so why does this other child know him? (Never mind that this child has also never met that version of his father.) It all stems from that: a craving for something he’s never received.

Kousuke’s whole speech about how there was only one kind, sweet, generous, funny person in his life was the very person he attacked and tore down hit me HARD. His admission of fear, that he ACTUALLY ADMITTED TO BEING SCARED, that he’ll never be good enough for Rand, that nothing he would ever do would make him worthy of his attention actually hurt. This is the kind of thing I’ve been wanting Kousuke to acknowledge and embrace, because it’s the one thing that has been fueling and propelling him. He doesn’t do this job because he’s passionate about it - he does it because he’s still vying for love and attention. He didn’t forsake his childhood because he was above it - he literally sacrificed it for his father. Regardless of what you think about Kousuke now, it has to be acknowledged that he, too, has suffered. And let’s not pretend that Yui truly believed that Kousuke could win Rand’s affection this way - it still feels like it was a game for her, a manipulation to turn him into someone she could use to get her way, a puppet if you will. It’s fucking sad to think that he gave up everything because he was so determined to earn his father’s love, that his love and attention was believed to be so conditional he had to make himself worthy of it.

“I hate you for making me aware this person exists. And I hate your face being a constant reminder of it.”

So many times, Kousuke has berated Nol for his playful, joking behavior, for seeming so lax and carefree. I’d always thought it was jealousy that he didn’t have that kind of life, that he wasn’t allowed it - and that probably is still a part of it - but now we know that when Yeonggi laughed and played around, he was a vision of a version of Rand Kousuke had never known, a spitting image of a man Kousuke didn’t even know could exist.

And as Nol points out, it was all for naught. All of Kousuke’s jealousy and his fear, tearing down Nol so that he could instead get to know that version of Rand. All of it was for naught, because who knows if that man even exists? It seems like only one person ever knew her, and who’s to know if she didn’t make him up. Kousuke has spent his entire life - sacrificed his childhood, accelerated himself through school, forsook any fun or leisure - on a quest for a man who probably doesn’t exist, for something he’ll never achieve. He spent his whole life tearing down someone innocent trying to get to something he’ll never have.

I really thought it would take for Kousuke to lose it all, to stumble in his career before he’d realize it, but here he is.

But on the other side of that, we have Nol. Nol, who also lost - and lost more than Kousuke did. Nol who was isolated and alienated, Nol who tried time and time again to reach out and create a connection, and was refused every time. Nol who suffered under Kousuke and Yui’s watch over and over. Nol, who despite it all, still tried to treat Kousuke well, still tried to give him a chance, still tried to reach out to him at his most desperate.

I think that really illustrates something important: an understanding that there is a reason for Kousuke’s behavior and his paranoia, where it comes from, but that reason doesn’t justify. I can acknowledge both that Kousuke absolutely is the product of his environment and that he has been an asshole about it lol. Idk I can admit that my intrigue in his has grown a LOT.

These episodes have just tapped into something so deep that I love about this series - that our experiences heavily color our interpersonal relationships, as well as our relationships with our own selves. Nol notes that he, too, suffered, he, too, lost, he has been alone and alienated and despite it all he still tried, and he still attempted to be a good person, in contrast to Kousuke who let his suffering turn him into an asshole. It was kind of a hard-to-read moment, because Nol spoke the truth, and as much as I feel for Kousuke, Nol is right. Because he never attempted to deal with those ugly feelings, because he never chose to face them, because he instead wore them as armor, it became his identity, he became an asshole through those experiences. Had there ever been a moment that he could have met Nol in the middle, that he could have put aside his jealousy, that he could have turned off his Rand blinders, he could have seen what Nol was able to see earlier and more clearly. And isn’t that sad? They could have been a great team, they could have had each others’ back in a world where no one else did, they could have been there for each other, but Kousuke couldn’t cross that line.

Again, I fully acknowledge that Kousuke is the way he is because of those experiences. I acknowledge that this is the wake up call he needed, that he was forced to finally reckon with the truth.

But I also worry what will come of Kousuke as a result of Rand’s arrival. Is he going to backpedal? Is this going to short-circuit something and push him to double down, or is it going to free him?

Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to earn Rand’s favor, to earn his attention. Everything he has done has been an angle to get closer to his father. Like, when you break it all down, that’s the sad, basic truth. He was a child who so desperately wanted his father’s attention that his life became about that. And here comes Rand, showing up when it looks like Kousuke is running away. Rand who never had time for him, Rand who didn’t shower him with warmth and affection.

Rand who showed up and wailed “My son” in response to Nol.

That whole scene honestly hurts me. Nol is hurt, Rand is anguished and horrified, and Kousuke? Kousuke finally witnessing his father show a fatherly side - and it wasn’t for him. And not only that but Rand might not even believe that Kousuke was trying to get help, that he attempted to get Nol up but couldn’t. And does it even matter when the truth is that Kousuke DID cause this? I can’t imagine it was his intention - I don’t think his mind went “punch Nol and he’ll fall over the railing” as much as Nol tried to leave and Kousuke reacted on that. But the point still stands: even if it wasn’t his intention, this is still ultimately his fault. Nol goaded him on and played a part, but Kousuke was the hand that acted.

I fear that this will ruin what little relationship Kousuke has with Rand - and it’s a fear because it means Kousuke could swing in two wholly opposite directions. Does he double-down and return to the side of his mother, the only family member who has made him feel like someone’s child? I don’t think he’s at the point where he can extricate himself from the family, as good as it would be. And I worry that if that’s the case, will he double back down on his treatment and resentment of Nol? For this one moment, he saw that they were equals, that they both had a broken, shitty relationship with Rand. And then Rand showed up, showing that paternal side Kousuke has longed for.

As much as I WANT Kousuke to hold on to that moment, I don’t know that he can. I think the cracks have formed and I think his fragile reality is crumbling faster, but I fear he’ll retreat back into the “comfort” of the world he knows.

Here’s the thing about Kousuke: on some level he knows. He knows that Yui isn’t great, he knows that she has done awful things, he knows that Nol did no wrong, he knows that Rand will probably never change. But these are such uncomfortable truths and he has spent his life propped up by a false reality. This was pointed out by AugmentedElle on reddit, but look at the difference in Kousuke’s flashbacks. Look at the memory in 210 vs 212. The flashback in 210 is the strongest, most vibrant memory we’ve yet seen. Ordinarily they’re in some kind of grey scale, or at least muted colors, sometimes with spot color like in Shinae’s. In Nol and Kousuke’s flashbacks thus far, we’ve seen those muted colors or alterations - Nessa’s face appearing scribbled out in Kousuke’s memories, just as in 212. The use of color suggests that the memory in 210 is, quite possibly, fabricated. It starts out with Kousuke dazed, unable to remember what just happened, and Yui comes in and tells him he won’t have to see that boy for a long time. It feels like something happened - that perhaps Kousuke did something (the huffing that parallels his huffing after he punches Nol in the current story) and blocked it out or whited out and Yui came in and gave him an iteration of the story. It’s the strongest memory because it didn’t come from him - because it was filled in and colored in by someone else. The whole time we’ve thought Nol had perhaps been pushed to the bring, that Kousuke instigated a fight and Nol snapped, but maybe it was never Nol. Maybe the whole time Kousuke has associated Nol with danger and violence - because he was wired to think that way. That whatever happened and lead to that moment was so traumatic he doesn’t have the real memory, and instead carries a fabrication.

And that is essentially the basis of Kousuke’s entire life. Regardless of intent, Yui does manipulate Kousuke. She says things knowing full-well the effect they’ll have. Consider that moment with Nol and Nessa vs Yui in Kousuke’s flashback in 212. He watches Nessa blow raspberries on Nol’s cheek, a warm and silly exchange full of so much love and care - and then he looks up at Yui, who wears her maternal mask, shadows falling eerie over her face. Doesn’t it feel so much like she set this up? Doesn’t it feel like she knew Nessa and Nol would be around? She fills his head with things like “the only way to get your father’s attention is to be just like him” and “we’re not like other families we’re so special” and “isn’t it just so wonderful that rand at least has enough time to eat with us”? That’s not vouching for Rand - that’s passive aggression towards Rand and creating an idea of who Rand is - that Rand unwittingly lives up to. Despite speaking of the affair in front Kousuke, she turns and tells him that “Your father values us too much, he would never do such a thing” - a blatant lie that only plays into that feeling Kousuke wears that he’s been cheated, that there exists a version of his father that has been denied to him. Nessa tells Nol that Rand was a kind, sweet, generous, funny man. Yui tells Kousuke that Rand is anything but funny and he has no time for jokes. Maybe both are true, but Nol’s unintentionally makes a point about how Yui speaks of Kousuke’s father, vs how Yui spoke of Nol’s father. Why would a parent speak ill of the other parent -- if not to make the child see them that way.

(She also tells him there’s nothing she hates more than people who don’t take things seriously, and well, look at how Kousuke came out.)

There’s a fragile cognitive dissonance between what Kousuke knows to be true - that is, the reality that has been shaped by his experiences and Yui’s manipulation - vs actual reality, and we’ve seen this a number of times when various events threaten that tentative balance. Kousuke at the club, angry and paranoid, is aware of what people really think of him. Deep down he knows people don’t see him as great, as an honorable gentleman. Deep down he knows he’s a selfish, judgmental asshole, but it doesn’t fit the fabricated reality he believes in, so it only comes out in his paranoia. He knows that Nol is like him, that he didn’t have the love Kousuke coveted, that he tried to get by quietly, but Kousuke’s fear and paranoia still thought of him as the boy who had earned the love that Kousuke couldn’t, and that made him a threat. He knows what kind of person Yui is and has tried to draw boundaries, but he’s still told her things about Nol that she could act on, because he knows what she is capable of. When people or events fracture that reality, he struggles and lashes out, because he needs that reality to keep it together, but it’s crumbling fast.

Between the phone call with Rand and the moment that Rand shows up on the scene - what is the state of Kousuke’s reality? Is it crumbling? Is he trying to stuff the crumbling rocks back into the foundation? Will he retreat to his mother, the only one who can keep the tint of his rose colored glasses or will he be forced to face reality for what it really is? I wish it would be the latter, but I just don’t know if he’s ready for it yet. I don’t know if he can face that which he’s run from this whole time just yet.

As for Nol, woooooooof. What a fucking NIGHT. To think - THIS IS HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. On the one hand, I think, maybe this can give him some kind of peace. He’s finally gotten a piece of Kousuke’s mind, he finally knows how Kousuke sees him, what he thinks of him, and what motivated him all these years. Maybe with this knowledge, Nol will be able to walk away in peace. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore. He knows where he stands - and where he’s always stood - and I think he’s made it clear that he’s drawn his line. He is done, he is finished, with all of them. If Kousuke can find his way to the other side of the line, then good for him, but Nol has no intention of trying to bring him over anymore.

I do think there’s a lot of room for them to reconcile in the future - when Nol’s raw anger has maybe ebbed, when Kousuke has found himself and learned to stand on his own ground, rather than prop himself up by his fabricated reality. But they are far from there. I’ve said before that I had a feeling maybe we’ll see the three main characters reunite in the time skip as adults after having gone separate ways, and that feeling still lingers. Nol has made it clear that he still wants to get away - and frankly I think he needs to. I wish he’d say so much to his friends, I wish he’d tell them where they stand. I feel so bad for Shinae, who went through so much grief and angst and really put herself out there to bring him back, to get her closure - and then when she had it and was ready to let him go, he insisted on staying. For him to turn around and leave like that again, after everything she told him, after the ways she opened up to herself, god that must hurt a lot. I guess on the one hand, she got the closure she wanted but.... it wasn’t even that long ago that Nol was making jabs at Kousuke for abandoning his friends, and there he goes doing it a SECOND time.

There’s a piece I’d love to give more time and thought to - that maybe all along, on a deep, subconscious level, Kousuke feared Nol leaving and that’s why he’s always acted when Nol was on the leave. If Nol leaves he’ll be truly alone. If Nol goes, there is truly no one left who ever liked him, who ever saw any value in him. This post is already long enough, so I’ll try to spit that out later this week, if I can. I think it’s not a coincidence that Kousuke punched Nol as he was leaving, that he didn’t bring himself to do it when Nol promised he’d leave, just as he let Yui know Nol was planning to leave. Maybe he doesn’t recognize it yet, but I think Kousuke is terrified of being left alone and Nol escaping without him.

Like I said, more on that later, but it’s an important point that I think ties in really well with this relationship Kousuke has towards Nol. It’s complicated, fucked up, toxic, and messy, and it needs a LOT of untangling by professional help. But I do think these last episodes really set something up for Nol and Kousuke’s future - as much as there is so much resentment and anger between them, there’s a mutual sense of longing, of needing each other to fill a void: for Nol, he sought out a brother in Kousuke, a companion against the adults in their lives; for Kousuke, that knowledge that Nol, too, had suffered that neglect, and was the only person who had ever truly liked him. I think one day when that anger has died, when they’ve made peace and hopefully worked on themselves, when Kousuke has freed himself, I think there’s a chance they will be able to reconcile. Like I said, maybe they’ll never be family to each other; there’s so much damage there, it’s really possible that can never be undone. But I think at some point, at least, they will see themselves on the same side, rather than each other.

#I Love Yoo #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Kousuke Hirahara #Rand #Yui Hirahara #one day I'll replace my Rand tag with his full name but I can never remember it #lol as you can see this is v v heavy on the brothers and their relationship with each other #i want to maybe do a post later where i point out little individual bits i've enjoyed in these episodes or little details that stuck out to #I REALLY want to write more about their dynamic as brothers but woooof we'll see if i wind up finding the time to write everything i want ;A #i just feel SO STRONGLY about this current arc it's EVERYTHING i've been waiting for and i just have so many thoughts that are all over the #place and it's sooooo had to wrangle them into one place!!!!!!!!!#(I think this is why I like when people send asks - it helps me concentrate on one point lol)#Basically I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the content quimchee is feeding us the insight into Kousuke i have been DESPERATE #for this part of Rand the continued hints to Yui and Kousuke's relationship #and yknow even if you don't like a character (at least for me personally) i can often still find empathy #and man i feel for Kousuke in this one #all these truths he's finally releasing all these fears he's facing and one that literally materializes in front of him????#holy shit that's gotta hurt ouchies for EVERYONE #CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ALL ON NOL'S BIRTHDAY?!#CAN YOU BELIEVE HIS LAST NIGHT BEFORE PRISON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY IS GOING DOWN LIKE THIS?!#jesus CHRIST #ILY Commentary

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magentagalaxies · 5 months

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in an unexpected turn of events i'm having to edit down the content in my aubrey monologues so that i can actually fit all four of them in my final performance for my standup class and on the one hand it sucks bc i really love some of the jokes i have to cut but on the other hand someday i'll be able to write more monologues and possibly expand upon this cut material so i can get a whole monologue on a topic that would've just been an aside

#the actual standups in my class who have only ever done a tight five having to stretch their new material to fit the 20 minute final #vs me‚ an extremely extra fag who's used to writing full-length scripts‚ realizing the 3 monologues i've timed already add up to 20 min #and i'm working on a fourth one that works better as an opener than any of the existing pieces so it has to get in #(it'll be short tho i'm making sure of it. it's just like ''here's some material about aubrey's relationship to zir mom!'')#(then immediate segue into the uncle reg bit)#got the catcalling monologue down to 5 minutes and 30 seconds when the first draft was nine minutes #(tbh i'm fine with most of those cuts i think they were mostly filler)#(there's a bit about androgyny that i liked that i cut but tbh it doesn't work as just one paragraph it needs more nuance)#the uncle reg monologue is having the ''dumped at the pride parade'' thing trimmed down which is funny bc that was the original premise #tbh i could probably stretch my toronto pride material ft. uncle reg to a full 20 minutes bc the first stream of consciousness was so long #i wrote it right after i myself got back from toronto pride and tbh i actually wrote it as the outline for a sitcom episode #so the monologue version is very reduced down bc there were so many details that didn't fit in #and i'm realizing the material about the person who dumped aubrey should be its own monologue that i'll do another time #and maybe even add in the rest of the sitcom-style story at some point bc tbh that's some of my favorite aubrey material i've come up with #and the cishetman monologue is getting the intro part about facetime trimmed a bit bc it meanders #and the ''sugar and spice and everything nice'' joke is being cut even tho i like it bc i actually have a ton more material in my notebook #that's just me riffing on how weird those expressions are. and the material isn't polished but i could make it something later #the song isn't being trimmed bc it has a very specific run time and imo is the strongest. so that's my closer #anyway thank you to everyone reading my aubrey updates i'll be sure to post the final 20-minute-special on youtube #and i hope i get to do more monologues soon so i can put the other ideas mentioned here (as well as some i haven't) out into the world

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holybananaoafshoe · 6 months

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Modern AU: Halloween 🎃 1/2

It’s way after Halloween, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? I’m happy you guys are here, and what would the spooky season be without a, hastily written, one shot? Here’s the first half for you guys!

Pairing: Kaeya and Wriothesley :)

TLDR: What’s Halloween without a party, a ghost hunt, and some well-meaning shenanigans?

“Please, Albedo, it’ll just be for tonight!”

“No.”

“I’ll do anything,” Kaeya pleaded, “I’ll do all of the taste testing for the next month.”

The man in question was lounging languidly on the couch of their shared apartment, feet propped up on the coffee table, and absentmindedly watching some kind of documentary on cryptids across the United States. A large bowl of candy sat on the round end table next to the couch, a few discarded wrappers laying on Albedo's lap as he watched the documentary.

The living room was dark, the only source of light coming from the various lit candles around the apartment and the glowing TV. Small pumpkins that were crudely carved by Kaeya and Klee littered the counter top, while the more intricately carved ones Albedo had carved (as well as a few he carved for Klee) were displayed on the balcony.

Their neat apartment had a few cobwebs strewn about and rubber bats hanging from the ceiling. Their kitchenette had some small test tubes and beakers with water and food coloring in them. A few had smoke drifting from the tops to pool on the counter--courtesy of Albedo, who took a few leftover dry ice chunks from work. Ghosts hung in the hallway that led to their bedrooms and the bathroom. They had painstakingly hung up their fairy lights on the ceiling of the hallway in an attempt to make the ghosts seem a little less scary. Poor Klee had gotten quite the scare late one night while she was sleeping over because she forgot they had hung them up, that is until a passing car's headlights cast the ghosts' eerie shadows on the wall.

Kaeya liked to dub the hallway “Specters Crevice,” but it seems others did not share his sentiment as they’d wrinkle their noses or roll their eyes at the cheesy name. All, besides Klee, who had giggled and hung up a small ghost that looked a lot like Dodoco. The name, lights, and the ghost resembling Dodoco had thankfully helped ease the young girl's mind.

It was their night off from the Knights of Flavorus, which was a small bakery owned by Alice. The local bakery wound up expanding relatively fast with the help of Albedo’s scientific ways of combining flavors and the owner’s own to-die-for recipes. Albedo was the head food and flavor chemist of the company and managed a small team that would come up with wacky flavors that made all the employees a little nervous to try.

Kaeya had known both Alice and Albedo long before the bakery began. Alice had been close to Crepus, his adoptive father, before he had passed away. She visited so often that he and Diluc have taken to calling her “Aunt Alice.” Since Crepus's passing, Alice had taken Diluc and Kaeya under her wing, treating them like her own children and helping them through the hardships they endured after the funeral. The family held a special place in Kaeya’s heart, they took him in after he and Diluc had gotten into a nasty fight in the bar. The brothers had exchanged harsh words--words neither of them truly meant, but left emotional scars all the same. One of the long-time bartenders broke them up and let Kaeya leave early, just an hour after midnight. Wouldn’t you know, that would be the same night a drunk driver hit Kaeya in a head-on collision as he was driving towards Aunt Alice’s house.

He lost his right eye and his brother that night.

The next following days in the hospital were…ones he’d rather forget to be honest. Surprisingly Diluc would visit, which would always end up in a yelling match that Aunt Alice or nurses would rush to break up. During those rough weeks of healing and physical therapy and searching for a job (and trying not to think about his eye), she had let him stay with her. Aunt Alice bought the bakery just a few months after his accident and hired Kaeya as one of the bakery’s managers. After a lot of deliberation and discussions and arguments with Diluc, he started work at the Knights of Flavorus and got an apartment with Albedo. He was often found upfront working his customer service ‘charms’ as Lisa, their accountant, would say, or in the back decorating cakes.

Thankfully, Kaeya and Diluc are at least on speaking terms now. Sometimes, they can even stand each other long enough for Kaeya to help out at the bar or to sit through an event with Aunt Alice and her family.

Nonetheless, Albedo was not one to dress up for Halloween, often going with whatever costume Kaeya or Klee wore or just donning his lab coat and grabbing some kind of prop he dug out from Kaeya’s closet. Tonight, he sported an oversized white hoodie that had swirling gold embroidery on the arms with stars sprinkled in, a pair of navy sweats, and fluffy Dodoco slippers Alice had gifted to him last Christmas.

Kaeya had on his costume and a face full of makeup, ready for a night out in the town.

Only, he had forgotten he was supposed to take Klee out to the annual Halloween bash in the park this year. The bash is hosted by the town where various businesses open up elaborately decorated booths ranging from food to games to entertainment. It was one of the biggest holiday celebrations in the town, right next to Christmas. The winners of the booth decorating contest won bragging rights as well as the ability to pick where their booth would be located at the next year's bash.

After the bash, the streets in town would be closed off for a few hours so kids can run around and go trick-or-treating. Everything considered, the turn out for the event was huge and most of the employees at the Knights of Flavorus worked in shifts at their booth.

It was the first Halloween either has had off for…a while. Usually the two spent the night covering each other's breaks at the Knight's booth so they could spend a little time with Klee. Yet, here they were, spending the few hours before the Halloween Bash to get their costumes on and goodie bags for the kids ready, and Kaeya just realized his predicament.

Albedo slowly tore his eyes away from the TV and looked over at Kaeya, raising an eyebrow at his costume. “Last time I covered for you, you got arrested.”

“And I got a cute boyfriend out of it, your point?”

Last Halloween, Kaeya had gotten into a small fight with a customer that resulted in both him and the customer getting detained and taken to the nearby police station. He wasn’t even working for the Knights of Flavorus, he was helping his brother bartend. Technically, he was supposed to be at the barkery, but Albedo had covered hsi shift after Diluc had called Kaeya up right around the time the Halloween Bash began, asking if there was any way he could help. His long-time bartenders had called in just before the bar opened: one had gotten sick and the other had to rush their child to the emergency room (word on the street was the child had grabbed a flaming marshmallow with his bare hands, apparently trying to throw it into their cup), leaving Diluc alone at the bar. Kaeya couldn't exactly leave his brother to fend for himself, he knew how busy the Halloween party at the bar got and then the absolute insanity when the after party started. (It was always the best party of the year, fondly remembered by all those who participated until the next rolls around).

It wasn’t his fault and, if it says anything, Diluc and the police agree that Kaeya was not at fault.

Listen, what was he supposed to do when he kept getting orders for angle shots? He and Diluc made sure to keep an eye out for the creep. Unfortunately, with how packed it was, neither seemed to be able to spot the man. His breaking point was when Barbra, a member of a local band that often played live music at the bar, had shakily come up to him and tell him that it was Albert. At that point, Kaeya had left the bar to hunt the man down. Can you blame him? He was getting sick and tired of throwing Albert out for creeping on girls and following Barbra around the parking lot. No matter what he or Diluc tried, nothing seemed to keep Albert away.

When he finally caught Albert’s ass, he made sure to get between Albert and the person he was pursuing. Of course, when kicking Albert out peacefully didn’t work, Kaeya had tried to forcefully kick him out. One thing led to another, and Albert wound up breaking a bottle of wine over Kaeya’s head and used the bottle as a makeshift weapon. At some point in the fight, Kaeya had been able to wrestle the bottle away and subdue Albert until the police arrived.

Imagine Kaeya’s surprise when the police arrested both of them. He supposed it had been a year or two since he’s worked as security, but he thought the local police would at the very least remember all the times he had called the station about an unruly drunk.

He didn’t exactly regret fighting Albert, the man had it coming for a long time and a small part of him was satisfied that he was the one to put the man behind bars, but he did regret having to sit in an interrogation room for the rest of Halloween without spending any time with Klee. He sat in the cold interrogation room for who knows how long--his head bleeding, feeling a little woozy, and overall reevaluating his life choices--until Wriothesley had walked in. It’s cheesy to say, but Kaeya’s breath was taken away at the sight of the officer. How could he not be infatuated when the officer scrolled in, a slight grin tugging at his lips, and began to tease Kaeya about the fight?

He wound up doing community service for a few weeks, but it was so worth it.

For one, Albert was officially banned from the bar and Diluc was able to get a restraining order of sorts to keep him off the bar's property. Secondly, it also gave Kaeya more time with Wriothesley. Eventually, he had worked up the nerve to ask the other out for dinner, who had teasingly said he would take up his offer once he was finished with community service.

“My point,” Albedo said, pointing a Crunch bar at him, “is that last year, you were beside yourself for missing out on spending time with Klee.”

“I know," Kaeya sighed, "it's just, I can do the Halloween Bash, but Wriothesley and I wanted to go to the after party together and…"

"That's when trick-or-treating starts," Albedo finished for him.

Kaeya nodded and silence filled the space between them as Albedo thoughtfully munched on the candy. After a moment, Albedo looked over at him and pointed his half-eaten crunch bar at Kaeya: “You know, you still owe me for knocking a whole tub of peppercorns into batter when you and Wriothesley tried to fu--”

“OOOKAAY we agreed to never bring that up again,” Kaeya interrupted, his face turning a nice shade of red.

Albedo took an aggressive bite of his candy, the loud snap making Kaeya cringe, and threw his arms up as if to say: what do you want me to do, when you haven't touched a single cake pop I've made?

The Peppercorn Incident™ happened when Kaeya and Wriothesley first started dating. Let’s just say Wriothesley's after hours visit to the Knights of Flavorus with Kaeya to pick up a set of keys had turned into an impromptu cake decorating lesson in the large walk in cooler that got a tad flavorful, if you will. In their passion, they had knocked over a large container of peppercorn into leftover dough (who knew plastic wrap was so flimsy?).

After knocking the peppercorn over, they decided it would probably be best to continue elsewhere, so Kaeya cleaned up (he wasn’t a monster, thank you, people make food on those tables) and they left. Only, he had forgotten to throw out the leftover batter, and Albedo had been the lucky soul who had decided to look at the security footage to find the culprit. Thankfully, Albedo deleted the footage and they both agreed never to speak of it again, so long as Kaeya taste tested anything Albedo made for the Halloween Bash.

You can imagine how much Kaeya had wanted to yeet himself into the abyss when Albedo had dragged him into dry storage and confronted him about it.

Kaeya can only imagine what would have happened if Sucrose, or, God forbid, Aunt Alice had found the footage.

Small mercies and all of that.

Regardless, Kaeya didn’t mean to avoid taste testing things for Albedo. Between helping Diluc out with the bar, getting the Knights of Flavorus’s Halloween booth items, and splitting his spare time between Klee and Wriothesley he hasn’t been able to pop by the labs. Usually, Kayea doesn't overwork himself--he prides himself on his ability to balance his time between work and life--but before he had realized, he found himself committing to setting up the bakery’s booth for the Halloween Bash and helping at Angel's Share all so he could get tonight off.

He wasn't proud to say that Albedo and Lisa had to send him home early a few times (nearly collapsing at the counter and throwing an entire tray of cupcakes away instead of the broken piping bag wasn't his brightest moments), calling Wriothesley to come pick him up and drive him back home. One day, Albedo took one look at him, picked up his phone, and told Jean Kayea wasn't coming to work--all while maintaining eye contact. Don't get Kayea wrong, he was thankful for his coworkers (if he was being honest, they were all more friends than coworkers) and without them he wouldn't be half as alert as he was currently.

However, Albedo hasn’t summoned him to the labs once. Instead he just set random cake pops out and about the apartment, and they weren’t even weird flavors, they were vanilla. Perhaps he didn't call him over because he could see how exhausted Kaeya was, but he was fully capable of making caffeinated cake pops.

Albedo can deny it all he wants, but he swears he's seen something about it in Albedo's recipes.

Not only that, but Albedo occasionally enjoyed giving them things to taste test that were unusual, stifling a laugh when they made faces at the flavors. So to say that Kaeya would have been the perfect subject for unusual flavor testing, tired and unassuming as he's been the past few weeks, would be an understatement.

The perfectly normal and delicious cake pops were odd, suspicious even, and Kaeya had halfway expected one of them to have an interesting candy coating. Except none of them ever did.

(No matter how much Albedo liked tricking others into tasting something odd, he wasn't cruel. Not that he didn't try to make something for Kaeya, he just felt bad pushing his unholy creations onto his tired roommate. Besides, Kaeya has been working his ass off to try to get Halloween off to spend time with Klee. Even Albedo had to admit his efforts were enduring, so maybe he made Kaeya's favorite cake pop flavor to help him feel better after a rough night at the bar. He even made a few for Wriothesley, who would drive Kaeya home. He'd spend the night and cook Kaeya’s favorite breakfast the next morning. Wriothesley would stay over more to make sure Kaeya would actually go to bed rather than work on finding things for the bakery’s Halloween booth.)

So here they were.

Kaeya shuffled his feet, the red shoes of his costume squeaking on the floor. "Listen, I'll make good on that and I'll make sure to help keep nosey cooks and customers away from the labs during the holidays."

Albedo hummed and stated: "I believe you will…and I'll come up with something you can help me with for this later, so go have fun on your date."

Kaeya let out a victorious whoop, crossing the distance between himself and his roommate to give him a sloppy hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Albedo laughed and patted his friend's back: "Yeah, yeah, don't get too ahead of yourself."

Kaeya went back into the kitchen, buying himself with packing up a small goodie bag for Klee and another for Wriothesley's adopted cousin Freminet, humming a song to himself happily.

He paused, his hand hovering between the popcorn balls and Halloween baggies, suddenly realizing: "There's no way you're only wearing a hoodie to Halloween."

"I didn't have time to get a costume." Albedo called from the living room.

"Oh, we'll make you a costume."

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