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nicoline1998enilocin · 7 months

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Flufftober Day 1 | It'll be okay

Pairing | Best friend!Chris Evans x Best friend!Female!Reader

Word count | 1.3K

Summary | After nearly a decade of being together, you're going through a very intense break-up, so you're at a loss about what to do with yourself. Luckily for you, your best friend Chris knows exactly what to do to make you feel better, and you're very thankful to have him in your life.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. RPF, hurt/comfort, Reader going through a tricky (mutual) break-up, Chris being the best friend ever, implied smut.

Prompt(s) | 1. ''I've got you'' | @flufftober 2023

A/n | I'm slowly catching up with the missed days, so here's the first one to complete the collection this month! I thought I'd start the month off with a bit of hurt/comfort, so I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider made by @cafekitsune | GIF-credit goes to @quacxon

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist | Flufftober Masterlist

''I think it's about time we talk,'' your boyfriend, Nathan, says as he sits at the dinner table. You just finished preparing dinner and have put it on the table, though you're extremely worried as you see the look on his face.

''I-Is everything okay…?'' you ask, though you already know what will come out of his mouth next. This is the talk you've been dreading for a while, ever since he mentioned the possibility of working overseas a few months ago.

''Actually, no, it's not,'' he says as he's fighting back the tears, and you stand up to sit on his lap, where you grab his face and place your forehead against his.

He doesn't have to say the words to know it's over, though you're not ready to face that reality yet. ''Can we have one more night together? Please, it's all I'm asking before you go,'' you ask as you close your eyes, hoping to stop the tears from falling, but to no avail.

Nathan wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer until there's little to no space left between the two of you, and that's when he kisses you in a way that sends you soaring.

''I'd love nothing more than that,'' he says before he picks you up and walks you to the bedroom, the dinner you prepared forgotten entirely as the two of you make love for the rest of the evening and night, exploring every inch of each other one last time.

The following day has come too soon, and you've packed your stuff quickly since most of the things in the house are Nathan's, and he can decide what to do.

Finally, the moment to say goodbye is here, and you can't hold back the tears that are coming because you two have been through a lot over the past nine years.

''Please, kiss me one last time before I go,'' you ask of him, and he does by pulling you close to him and closing the distance with the softest, sweetest, most heartbreaking kiss you have ever felt. When you pull away, you give him a sad smile before pulling away from his hold.

''I wish you all the best, Nathan. And I hope you will find the woman of your dreams there, as well. You deserve it,'' you say as you pick up your duffel bag and suitcase; the rest of your stuff is in a storage unit until you have found your place to live.

''I hope you find love too because I know that whatever man you choose must be exceptional to be loved by you,'' he says, and with a slight nod and a last wave, you walk out the door of the place you once called home.

The Uber you called is already waiting for you as you load the suitcase and duffel bag into the trunk of the car, and you wave to Nathan one last time before getting into your Uber. As he drives off, you're officially leaving your old life behind.

For now, you'll be staying at your best friend Chris' house until you've found your place, and that's where you're headed while he's preparing for your arrival.

He made you two care packages for when you arrive to make you feel a little more at home right away since you'll be living in his house for at least two months, maybe even longer.

Chris has been busy getting a few care packages ready for your arrival the entire morning. The first one he made included everything from a blanket to cuddle under to a few pairs of fuzzy socks and from a few books to your favorite snacks.

The other one is in your bathroom, attached to the guest bedroom you'll be occupying. It includes pads and tampons in various shapes and sizes, a few face masks, a thick bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, different kinds of shampoos/conditioners, and a purple vibrator, which he got as a joke, knowing you'd appreciate it.

He's in his kitchen preparing lunch when he gets your message.

< Princess 👑 > I'll be there in 10 minutes. I can't wait to see you and Dodger again!

< Chris 🐶 > We can't wait either, Princess. We're already waiting for you!

He sends the text with a photo of Dodger, who's excitedly looking out the window after he told him you'd be coming over later.

When you see the photo, you instantly get a big smile and are excited to see him again, even though you've just said goodbye to the man you were convinced you'd marry one day.

''We're here, ma'am,'' your Uber driver says, and you get out of the Uber, seeing Chris waiting at his front door for you. After grabbing your suitcase and duffel bag, you thank the Uber driver and walk up to your best friend.

He lets you put your stuff inside before pulling you into a hug, and almost instantly, you burst out into tears as you feel the safety of his arms enveloping you.

''Shhh, it'll be okay, Princess, I've got you,'' he says between kisses on the crown of your head, his big hands rubbing your back softly as you cry into his chest, soaking his shirt. It is far from pretty, but you would be lying if you said you weren't feeling 100 times better after.

''I-I'm sorry, I need to freshen up,'' you say before pulling away and instantly feeling guilty as you see the mess you made of his shirt.

''Hey, don't worry about my shirt. It'll get clean in the wash,'' he says, and you nod before apologizing again and freshen yourself up in the bathroom and change into some comfortable clothing before getting some Dodger cuddles.

Once you walk into your room, you spot a big basket with stuff on your bed, and you walk over to peek at everything in there, finding a little note from Chris as well.

''I hope this will make you feel right at home'' is what it says on the card, and you can't help but smile at it and nod softly. It's everything you could have wished for and more.

Walking into the bathroom, you see a similar basket, which immediately warms your heart until you look at everything there. ''You little shit,'' you laugh as you find the vibrator he got you, though you plan to make good use of that in a while.

When you're freshened up and wearing your glasses, your hair in a messy bun, and your comfiest clothing is put on, you walk downstairs, immediately greeted by Dodger.

''Hi, Buddy! Come on, let's get some cuddles on the couch, okay?'' you say, and he happily follows you before jumping on and taking his place in your lap.

''I see someone's happy to see you,'' Chris laughs as he walks in with a cup of tea for you and some water for himself, and he grabs the lunch he was preparing before you came over, having made enough to share between both of you.

''Thank you for everything, Chris. It means a lot that you'll let me stay here,'' you say with a big smile. He rubs your cheek lovingly with his thumb, and you lean into his touch.

That day is spent watching some cheesy rom-coms, cuddling with Dodger, eating ice cream and other snacks, and that evening, you fell asleep when you were cuddled up against Chris.

He carried you to bed and tucked you in, but before he could leave, you woke up and turned to him.

''Stay, please,'' you croak out softly. He has never been one to say no to you, so that first night is spent sleeping in Chris' arms, in your safe place. You haven't slept that comfortably in a while.

#flufftober 2023 #day 1 #chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff

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grape-eating-vampire · 2 months

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alright, it's done. i finished it.

this is the third and final part of things that happened in my first bg3 playthrough ever that I found so funny that I put them in my notes (spoilers below)

let me start this by saying I have only cried twice in the 155 hours it took me to complete this shit. however, I have almost-screamed at the characters more times than I'd like to admit. but first here's stuff that happened since the last one of these posts I made:

after killing Orin I went around Baldur's Gate for a while and did odd sidequests, including

clearing out a haunted house and sidelining to kill a stinky man in a wardrobe (and drag his body to a guy two streets over)

entirely ignored Gale's quest to look at a book because I kept getting arrested there after having killed the boss mage guy

I also foolishly though this wouldn't have any consequences. oh boy was I wrong

went to see a underwater prison, got told off by Gortash, decided to explore it after killing him, and promptly forgot to do so

killed Gortash! fuck that guy the only good thing about him is his fancy robe

tried to recruit a dragon called Ansur, found out the emperor is Balduran (????????? honestly I was shocked)

killed said dragon and felt like I was playing skyrim all over again

found a letter ("Dear Ansur") by Balduran/the Emperor. this was the first time I cried. I could still cry.

patch 6 came out! that was yesterday and I spent about 10 minutes trying out new kisses and sitting on Shadowhearts stool in camp (she now says "I'm glad you decided to join me" or something like that when you do)

went pretty much straight to the underground pool thing where the brain was supposed to be

failed abysmally to Dominate The Brain™

got pulled out by the emperor and had to start beef with Lae'zel because I had also forgotten to care about Orpheus and the hammer from the House of Hope

admittedly, I didn't really forget, I just didn't want to spend any more time with Raphael than I absolutely had to

my +14 persuasion saved the day once more and Lae'zel was fine with the one hope in her life getting his brains sucked out

went off to fight the brain once more. my game crashed twice trying to load that cutscene.

met all my allies! I forgot how many there were actually, and I only called on two of the groups later on

fought a lot. like a LOT lot.

got to the Netherbrain and kicked it's ass*

*had to reload about 3 times and try again because Minsc at level 12 was stuck on 100 hp for some reason and kept fucking dying

finally managed to kill the fucker! had Lae'zel deal the killing blow which seemed very fitting

more cutscenes, but this one actually didn't crash the game, I got to look at some beautiful unloaded walls and stuff instead

Lae'zel left right after we got to the haven. understandably so

remember how I ignored Gale's quest? well he didn't blow himself up like he inteded earlier, but he left to becOME A GOD????? I cannot fucking deal with this man

Karlach on the pier. this was the second time I cried, but unproportionally much so

Wyll left with her for Avernus, the little cutscene of them arriving there made me feel a bit better

Astarion had to leg it because of the sun (sorry)

Shadowheart didn't do much of anything during all of this, neither did Minsc, Halsin or Jaheira

decided to go help kids with Halsin, seems to fit my character (eventhough I really didn't roleplay so much)

we got an epilogue! yippie!

caught up there with everyone, except Lae'zel (who was there via the fantasy version of zoom) and Gale (who was there via the fantasy equivalent of a voicemail)

tried to hug Gale, couldn't, almost cried again but managed

also met a tressym who I recognized from fanart as Tara. I don't know why she was there, we never met her before and Gale hadn't mentioned her either

read a LOT of letters the party had received. barely kept my composure at the Gur's letter to Astarion

Withers did a cool speech and the game ended

after all of this and so much more that I didn't take notes about, I can confidentially say that Baldur's Gate 3 is the best video game I have ever played, and within it's genre my favourite ever!

I'm also emotionally devestated, especially after these final parts (but in a good way)

that's all, thanks for reading!

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #orin the red #enver gortash #astarion #gale #wyll #karlach #lae'zel #shadowheart #jaheira #minsc #withers #bg3 spoilers #the emperor #ansur

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ritzcuit · 1 month

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i found a bunch of dialogue that ive 100% either forgotten abt or just nto seen in a while so i posting them here for me and me only

this when they're talking abt the family photo....i YELLED!!! the day WEEEEEEE all went out fishing!! WEEE!!! I KNEW DATZ WAS THERE!!!!THEY ALL SAID I WAS CRAZY BUT I KNEW IT No one doubted me. literally no one. but im still vindicated. from "well someone had to take that photo" to "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" oh datz... Also 'seems like datz has a lot to say', i know it's just the "yuty's CHANGED..." stuff but i want to read it more emotionally. i know that man has complicated and upset feelings on this kid he saw raised from a baby to now...Ok? uncle.

this one i never rly fully forgot abt bc i cite it so often but it's just nice to have a screencap.. that yeah without a doubt dhurke and datz were friends pre-fire... also everything he says abt jove is very "dhurke told me this/said that" so they didnt meet. Which idrc about. jove means nothing to be to be honest

cowards for making it metaphorical LIKE DATZ SHOULD HAVE A DRAGON TATTOO. i dont draw the tattoos ever cus i keep forgetting and am lazy but datz should have one and it should be on his heart because he's a freak. And it should be a gay thing. it should be a young dhurke and datz stick n pokeing their convictions on each others bodies like insane revolutionaries. And it's about the revolution but it's about dhurke. OKAY!??!? oh you dont fukcing get it

i didnt rly forget abt this one either but it's cutie to me i just like them Oh they are so oomfies. it'uahhhgh Datz how many conversations are you trying to cheer dhurke up and being his optimism when dhurke cant be optimistic. like that's what this always reads to me as. is datz compensating for dhurke's pragmaticism even though i do really like to think that dhurke is the optimist and datz is more pragmatic underneath it all. but they switch off they bear each others loads. (not in a gay sex way rn) like it's so. No of course he still cares about you! bc he's not gonna say "yeah i bet that little squirt doesnt gaf LOLLLL" that's crazy.

also i like dhurke was never a hands on kinda dad. And i like when datz's role in the family is as a connection. like. this is very novel to me it's very literature. apollo and datz go out into the woods for a trip and then over the course of their trip it's apollo getting closer to his dad thru datz's stories and whatnot...Like?

well OBVIOUSLY *i'd* want it to be datz as his own character and person with feelings and ideals but i get his function for writing. i understand it. it makes me crazy tho. Um anyway

i just like him

#i really like datz.

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withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus · 6 days

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"Most JP bands treat their foreign fans as non existent." was sth I shouldn't have found today but it's not like i dunno. I just didn't wish to hear it rn. However I will say this, because it's been bothering me for years.

While fc stuff is sth most western fans dislike (including myself) and just accept it's sth common in Japan so they choose to ignore it, it is still unfortunately one of the biggest incomes for the bands. Whether it is available for global fans or not and whether we can be part of it or not (financially i mean), I think it's good to put that into perspective too. If it wasn't for this "politic", some bands would have disbanded way earlier than they did. Also do consider that some bands, regardless of whether they have an fc or not, do not favor one or the other. It's rare I know but it happens. Like yeah fc members get extra stuff release-wise, special lives and some even get to go on a trip with the band (not all bands do the latter one though let's be real) but as a whole, the band doesn't ignore its non monthly payers. That is very important to consider before feeling like "unless i'm paying a heavy load, i am not appreciated enough".

Another thing I'd like to point out is that, yes these people are artists and artists depend largely on people's emotions but being an artist is also a job. So we can't really be mad that these people use every method in the book to earn money. Paying the bills isn't the only thing they use money for. They need money for their costumes, mvs and tour expenses. That is a lot of money guys and if you think buying their cds and merch alone is enough you are wrong. Especially if the band isn't independent, the biggest percentage of their products' income goes to their company, not them.

As for my last point and the view of Japanese artists towards foreign fans, I'd like to point out a type of experience I've read more than once from jrockers and that is "moving on from the bands". It is really hard for a small band, or a band with fans under 20k anyway, to imagine themselves making fans outside of their immediate environment. Sure, some can argue the insecurity lies in Japanese culture as a whole, but with the years I've come to realize it's more than that. Bear with me. There are bands who are not interested in expansion abroad, sure, but you will be surprised how many actually ARE interested. The problem lies in the fact they can't trust it. Either because they themselves have never left their country before or cared to research how other cultures act, they know what they know based on word of mouth and stereotypes, OR because they met foreign fans at their lives, got excited about it and then said fans had to go so, because they had no visual proof those fans were still there, they believed they were forgotten by them. I also met a fan living in Japan a couple of years back and she confirmed that for me, that many jrockers have this fear of being forgotten or not being relevant for long. They do everything in their power to keep their relevance going so they can't depend on things they can't see and confirm they are loved on the regular, because that's a lot of anxiety to take in. They prefer focusing on what's there, cause if their venues don't fill up there, then no matter how many fans they have abroad they won't be able to sustain their dream.

So yeah before you get upset at a band for how they earn their money from fans or how they act towards different types of fans, put yourselves in their place. What would YOU do to keep your dream going and not having to live a life you hate. There lies your answer. They are not hollywood artists. They don't earn royalties from interviews and commercials the way hollywood people do, so they will never be able to quit the fc method or having to manipulate emotions a bit to keep their shit going. I'm not a fan who is able to pay often and yet every jrocker I tried approaching was really patient with me. And I personally appreciate that. Sure it's part of the business to be polite, but having had a bad experience too, among the good ones, I can tell you that won't hold an arsehole back when you find him.

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casspurrjoybell-29 · 5 months

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Forgotten Ties - Chapter 12- Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

There was a flash of bright light and Skye looked away, and then there was rumble as the ground shook followed by gunfire.

Skye pressed his hands over his ears and watched in awe as the trees he'd leapt through the branches of just a few weeks ago began to brutally uproot themselves and lunge towards the soldiers.

Nim was grabbing kids and pulling them away.

"Run," Skye saw one of the soldiers turn towards them, hesitate with her gun raised and then turn her back to them as she focussed on the threat in front of her.

They ran.

It wasn't very far back to the house.

Skye wished it were further.

Joanne opened the door and ushered them in but Skye could still hear screaming and gunfire from down the street.

"What happened?" Peter asked.

Marigold shook her head.

"The Fae. We can't stay here. They'll find us again. We have to leave."

"We'll get you out in the van," Joanne said.

"Where should we take you?"

"I'll lead the way on foot," Nim said. "I'd take up too much room in the van anyway."

"Everyone get your things into your school bags," Marigold called out. "We're leaving in five minutes whether you're ready or not."

"No," Miya wailed, tears in her eyes. "I want to stay here."

"Miya," Marigold said in a voice that was gentle but firm. "If we stay here, they'll come and take us again. We have to leave."

Miya was still crying but she went to pack her things.

Skye didn't go to school, so he'd already packed his things into his schoolbag.

He went and got it from the bedroom and then watched as Marigold and Peter gathered some more food and pots and pans from the kitchen and shoved them into garbage bags.

Skye found some fruit snacks in the larder and shoved them into his bag.

The rest of what was in there was also mostly just food he'd been hoarding, some of it since before they'd even seen that creepy interview on TV.

It wasn't long before everyone moved outside and they started trying to figure out how to fit everyone and everything onto the bus.

"I'll go on foot with Nim," Skye offered when they started talking about having to leave some of their stuff behind because there wasn't enough room.

"Can you keep up?" Joanne asked. "Besides surviving jumping off of roofs, I honestly don't really know what you can do. I never really did get to know you, Skye."

"Yeah, I'm good at lots of things. Running, jumping, reading..."

"Really? Because I got a phone call from the school and they didn't seem to think you were very good at reading."

Skye gave her a shake of his head.

"I can't believe you would focus on that at a time like this. We have to leave before we get murdered."

Joanne sighed.

"You're not wrong."

"Please don't eat my fruit snacks."

"What?" Joanne asked but Skye was already running off to join Nim.

Nim was taking his clothes off while simultaneously trying to cover as much of his nakedness as he could because he was handing those clothes over to Marigold.

It was very interesting to watch, for multiple reasons.

"You're coming with me, are you?" Nim asked.

Skye nodded.

"Okay," Nim said, covering his cock with his hand as he got down on the ground. "Be careful," he added before starting to shift.

As the van started up with everyone loaded on board, Skye could still hear the fight going on down the street.

Thankfully when Nim started running, it was in the direction away from the gunfire, though from the circuitous route he took it seemed like he'd just been intentionally avoiding it.

Nim was a big, powerful beast, his muscles moving with speed and precision.

Skye wasn't that.

He wasn't strong at all.

When you didn't weigh much, it was just easy to run fast and not get tired.

For a while, anyway.

Eventually he started to struggle but he had a plan for that.

He kept his weight light and leapt onto Nim's back, causing him to stumble for a moment.

Skye held on with his hands and knees and kept his chest close to Nim's back and the burden hardly seemed to slow Nim down at all.

Nim had made the whole thing look effortless but by the time they finished their journey at the end of a one way street that led up into the woods, he was panting heavily.

Skye climbed off his back and gave his furry head a pat.

As soon as Marigold brought Nim his clothes back, he ducked behind a tree and shifted back.

He had his pants on by the time he came back out.

Skye collected his bag from the bus.

His fruit snacks were still in it.

He gave Joanne a nod of approval, though she just looked confused.

There were a lot of hugs and crying and saying goodbye to Joanne but Skye didn't really have any feelings about all that, so he spun in a small circle while he waited instead.

When it was time to go, Nim led the way.

As they started walking, Skye ate his fruit snacks.

They got stuck in his teeth but today had been a hard day in many ways.

Skye tried to console Miya by feeding her a fruit snack but that only seemed to upset her more.

Marigold was trying to calm the kids down and convince them this would be fun but that wasn't working either.

They weren't moving very quickly and before long Nim was carrying three of the kids.

Skye tried to carry Miya for a while but she bit his shoulder twice and he didn't get very far before he got tired and had to put her down.

He wasn't very strong.

For a while, he was given the job of designated flashlight holder but everyone got annoyed with him because he kept forgetting that making sure that everyone could see was the whole point.

He wasn't trying to be unhelpful, in fact, he was trying very hard to make himself be the opposite but the whole thing was like a puzzle his brain had to be actively focussed on or he'd just aim the flashlight where he needed it or entertain himself by waving it around in circles.

He handed the job off to Jay and he did much better at it.

Skye offered the fruit snacks to the rest of the children, even though he wanted them all for himself and some of them did take one.

When Skye offered one to Nim, he opened his mouth and let Skye put the fruit snack in because his arms were busy with carrying children.

"How are you holding up?" Nim asked.

"My feet hurt," Skye said.

Nim nodded.

"There's a bit of that going around, I've heard."

"Is it much further?"

"I won't lie, it is. I wanted to make sure nobody would stumble across us by accident at very least. And now, after what happened, I'm hoping they'll be too busy to put much effort into looking for us."

"The Fae saved us, huh?" Skye asked.

"Yeah. I've never heard of anything like that happening before. Of them directly weaponizing their creations like that."

"They protected us," Marigold said as she caught up to them.

"If they're willing to fight for us, what will that mean for all of this?"

"Bet it escalates things," Nim said as he readjusted his grip on one of the children.

She had fallen asleep against his shoulder and being jostled around didn't wake her.

"That could be bad, I guess but when we're outnumbered and outgunned, I'll take it."

"I don't know what to think," Marigold said. "On the one hand, I agree but on the other, these things can go wrong. The Fae made vampires, after all and they prefer the taste of hybrid blood."

"You're not wrong but for now I'm just happy we're here instead of sitting in that park or on a bus getting shipped off to who knows where. There's that saying about the enemy you know being better, but sometimes the enemy you know is so fucked that you'd rather take your chances with anything else."

"It's all just things to think about, anyway," Marigold said.

"For better or for worse, we don't have the power to change any of it. If the Fae decide to fight back, that's their own choice."

"Unless we die," Jay cut in. "If I die, I'll let the Fae turn me into a tree and then I'll protect you all. I saw them trying to shoot those trees. Fucking idiots."

"Jay, don't swear," Marigold scolded.

"Why?" Jay asked. "Who cares anymore?"

"I care," Marigold said. "Why?"

"Because I'm not ready for you to stop being a kid just yet."

"Well, I'm still a kid but I'm not a little kid," Jay said. "There are too many kids here for all of us to be little kids."

"Okay but set a good example by not swearing."

Jay sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I don't think it matters anymore but fine. If it'll make you happy."

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hermholland · 1 year

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This is going to be a little bit of a mish-mash of things but there is a point to it…

Lately I've been realising that I need additional help and support with my Depression than I'm currently getting. Despite the fact that since October I've had decent reasons to be upset or sad, I've recently acknowledged that I've not actually come back out of my misery for months, I've just found new reasons to explain it. It's clear that Things Are Getting Bad Again.

I've explained before, I think, about my abandonment issues, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and paranoia, and it's been especially bad the last few months: I've struggled to communicate with others, I've questioned whether people I consider my friends would prefer if I wasn't around, I've wondered if they'd notice if I dropped off the face of the Earth, I've been anxious about reconnecting with people, I've been scared to make plans, I've had panic attacks at the prospect of seeing people I've not had any contact with in a long time… The list goes on.

My most recent struggle is that one of my closest friends seemingly not wanting to spend time with me or even really communicate with me if it's remotely out of his convenience. It's felt like if I try to make plans with him to do something other than go to one pub we always go to he either doesn't want to or he'll agree & then cancel last minute ghost me for a day or more. Not all of this is imagined, but it's far more down to his own personal issues than with some resentment towards me. But it's been hard enough reaching out and being rejected or ignored that I've had to decide to just stop reaching out for the time being as a form of self-preservation. The voice that tells me everyone hates me and that they're right to is always much louder and more convincing than reality or truth, and for a while now I've been questioning a lot about my relationships with the people I care about. This has been extremely painful, and I've been getting progressively more closed off and isolated as I've tried to deal with it.

That, and other things, and general demon voices telling me I'm an awful person, have me feeling unwanted, unlikable, and isolated. It's been really horrific.

The thing is, though, and essentially what's become the reason I've actually shared this, is that while all this has been happening, in the last week (and more specifically on Sunday) I've had a few different and entirely unconnected things happen which have done a lot to counter these feelings. Some of these things will seem entirely inconsequential, but in the context of what I've just explained they've all meant the absolute world to me.

A friend of mine couldn't make it to my pirate outing on the 10th of February because he'd broken his clavicle and thus was entirely bedbound. He lives on his own and has not been able to even sit up without great pain and difficulty for several weeks now. I've tried to keep in touch with him, even about mundane things like what I'm looking forward to eating that day, so that he doesn't feel alone and like everyone has forgotten him (I know that feeling and wouldn't wish it on anyone). This is the man that I made my little BlueJay toy for, so that he could come out with us to the pirate event that he'd been looking forward to before the accident. The day after the pirate outing I sent him loads of pictures of everyone who was out posing with the toy of him. He was incredibly grateful, and told me how much the gesture meant to him and that he believed that even thinking of making a stand-in for him so that he could join us was "a sign of true friendship". I was really pleased with this response and it made me feel really good about doing something that didn't feel like much of a big deal to me while I did it.

Fast forward to last Sunday.

As I was getting some stuff sorted on my PC, out of nowhere, I got a message from my friend that I'd had to stop reaching out to, simply talking about how he didn't like his new phone. It was nothing special or important, and was really only a grumble about something inconsequential. I'd been feeling unwanted and like my badgering was the only reason our friendship had persisted, and hearing from him about something so unimportant and conversational was, maybe quite oddly, an extremely affirming gesture about the status of our friendship. If he'd gotten in touch about something that mattered then it'd have been worse, because this was just talking for the sake of talking because we're friends. A tiny thing, but it meant the world to me.

Maybe an hour later I got a message from a friend of mine who I only ever see maybe once or twice a year because he lives far away, but always gives me a shout when he's in the area to hang out. I wasn't able to join him, but it was really nice to get the invitation, especially as he doesn't know any of my other friends, so it was entirely unrelated. Another simple thing but it made me feel wanted, which was wonderful.

Again a little while later I was chatting with another friend of mine who I always chat with on a Sunday, and everything about feeling unwanted and so on had made me worry that I was neglecting this friendship, and I said as much to him. He reassured me that this was not the case at all, and something about that and the way he did it was really comforting.

A little while after that I got a gift from a friend out of nowhere, which was far more meaningful than I think he remotely understood at the time, or even after when I reiterated my gratitude to him for it. He explained his reasoning behind giving me the gift as being quite simple and matter-of-fact, but even that kind of meant more because it wasn't some grand gesture designed to make him look like a saint… it was just "You wanted this, and I wanted to make sure you got it at the right time". I was incredibly flustered to receive the gift at the time (I'm shite at surprises, especially gifting surprises!) and later on when I was by myself I got really quite emotional about it.

All of these separate things happened from unconnected people for entirely different reasons and at similar but obviously not-choreographed times. Even though my Depression voices are extremely convincing and very loud, they can't block out the fact that all of those things happening so close together affirm the collective strength of my friendships with people. It's hard to believe that nobody likes me when all of these people have made gestures proving otherwise.

I'm having a hard time, and that's not changed. I'm not feeling better, as such, but the smallest of gestures from people (as simple as just messaging me out of the blue to say their new phone is annoying them, which just shows they want to share something in their life with me) have been so reassuring and affirming that things don't feel so heck right now. I'm still miserable, but that's helped shut up one of the worst voices telling me I'm awful.

You'll never know how meaningful just saying hi to someone without any purpose or agenda (except just that they're your friend) can be.

#personal #mental health #mental illness #depression #anxiety #me #rejection #rejection sensitive dysphoria #abandonment issues #loneliness #relationships #friendship #isolation #paranoia #reassurance

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thatgirlonstage · 3 years

Note

I'd be very interested in a ficlet about the Witcher daemon AU you messaged me about a while back, if that's something you ever meant to actually write out. 👀👀👀 If not that, then, hmmm, some soft geraskier, maybe with this sentence from a prompt list that went around: "Is that my shirt?"

I got too into writing Sad Jaskier Hours + puppy therapy and the length got away from me but here is that inciting scene I talked about, in full prose

(And now that I’ve done this one scene I feel freer to do more stuff in this AU, so more later possibly)

Witcher & HDM fans please forgive me my lore sins, I have only seen the Netflix Witcher and I haven’t read HDM in like over decade, so please hand wave any wrongness as crossover changes

———

The words still stung.

They felt physical, still crawling over Jaskier’s skin like ants four days since he had come down the mountain. Whenever I find myself in a pile of shit, it’s you, shoveling it. He half expected to wake up to them tattooed across his arms like the mark of a pariah. “Stay away from this one. No one who knows him wants him around.”

Geralt was prickly and stubborn and rude and what friendship Jaskier got from him came quietly. It came in his perfect recollection of all the stories Jaskier told him, no matter how inconsequential or how much he professed to be annoyed by Jaskier’s prattling. It came in those rare, sardonic smiles Jaskier had gotten better at drawing out over the years. It came in his acquiescence to let Jaskier wash his hair whenever they could afford hot baths, in the yellow-eyed glare he sent anyone who tried to cheat Jaskier at cards, in the way his shoulders would relax and he would start humming along under his breath when Jaskier practiced music by their shared campfire. It came in the softest press of lips against his forehead, when Geralt finally came back from Yennefer’s the night after the djinn and thought Jaskier was asleep. Until the mountain, Jaskier had thought it came in the lack of any serious objection to his presence, in the way Geralt seemed to take it for granted that they would travel together for a while each time they ran across each other. Now, he was starting to wonder if he had misunderstood. He was starting to wonder if he had misunderstood a lot of things, and only imagined others.

He poked listlessly at his fire. His lute sat with his pack, untouched for a week. Kazia, his daemon, perched on a fallen log opposite him, preening her feathers for lack of anything else to do. Even she had been almost entirely silent the last four days, making none of her usual songbird chirps as she and Jaskier made their lonely way back—Jaskier wasn’t even sure where he was going. Away. That was all. Away.

Some rustling in the woods made his back stiffen. He tossed another log on the fire, hoping to deter whatever was out there. It had been a while since he’d camped this far out in the woods without Geralt to scare off anything that stalked the nights. He’d been so unable to face running into Yen or Geralt or even the gossip about them back in town that he’d just struck off into the wilderness. Hopefully that piece of stupidity wouldn’t be enough to actually kill him.

He held out a finger for Kazia, and she hopped onto it. He deposited her on his shoulder. “Fuck him, right?” he asked. Despite his best effort he found no flippancy to put into his voice, only bitterness.

“He didn’t mean it,” she said. “You know he didn’t.”

“No,” Jaskier said. He poked the fire, flipping over a log, sending a burst of sparks skyward. “I wish he didn’t mean it.” He leaned back, careful not to jostle Kazia on his shoulder, bracing his palms on the ground. Tilting his head up, he could see the light of a few stars, just managing to poke through the canopy. “I tried,” he said, and hated the crack in his voice. “I’ve been trying for so long but— what else could I have said? What else could I have done?”

She nuzzled her head against his cheek. “I don’t know, Jask. Maybe nothing. I’m sorry.”

He kept staring up at the stars. Silence fell again, Geralt’s final terrible words scraping him raw.

Witchers didn’t have daemons. When people said they felt nothing, had nothing human left in them, they pointed to that fact. You couldn’t possibly be human without a daemon. Even the likes of elves and dwarves had daemons. Witchers were monsters in the shell of something that had once been human.

Jaskier thought that was a load of horseshit. He hadn’t wavered on that point. Geralt had his own fears and feelings and wants like anyone else. Jaskier was just beginning to believe he might have misinterpreted what some of those feelings were.

He nudged Kazia to get off his shoulder and pulled his blankets up. Blankets, plural, because his own had proven woefully inadequate for the mountain and Geralt had, with a grumble, come over in the middle of the night to the miserably shivering Jaskier and dumped a thick, scratchy wool blanket over him, and when Jaskier had protested, Geralt had said it wasn’t cold enough for him to need it, and then Jaskier had forgotten he had it before he fled. Gave him a blanket, and then a day later screamed for fate to get Jaskier out of his life. Jaskier hadn’t quite managed to parse that yet. It hurt too much to look at.

“Do you expect me to keep watch?” Kazia quipped. “I can hear something moving around out there. I don’t like it.”

Jaskier curled his hands around the blanket, tugging it around himself. “Hopefully the fire is enough to scare it off,” he said. “I need to sleep or we won’t be able to make any progress tomorrow.” He turned, a little petulantly, on his side, facing away from Kazia. “It’s not like I can do anything if something decides to come eat us, even if I am awake.”

He heard the flutter of her wings as she took off into the low branches of the nearest tree. “Sleep lightly all the same,” she told him.

Jaskier didn’t respond, tugging his knees up to his chest, closing his eyes, and willing the world to disappear for a while.

Kazia’s frantic chirping woke him with a start.

“Jaskier! JASKIER! Jaskier WAKE UP!”

He blinked his eyes open, squinting in the dim light of the dying embers of the fire, and found himself staring directly at a giant white wolf.

He shot up and back in instinctive terror, hands scraping against rocks and roots. “Geralt—!” he squeaked, on reflex, and felt his heart twist somewhere beneath the terror as he remembered no Witcher slept beside him. Kazia was fluttering frantically around his head. He stared at the wolf. The wolf stared back.

It was a gigantic thing, its shoulder probably higher than Jaskier’s hip if he were to stand next to it. It was white from head to toe, shining like a ghost in the firelight. Its eyes gleamed yellow, a misplaced pang to Jaskier’s heart. Something about it felt off, not-quite-a-wolf, almost as if it were a daemon, but that didn’t seem right either. He wondered for a moment if it were a mage’s daemon — out here apparently alone as it was — but that wasn’t right either. He’d met Yen’s daemon, a sleek black feline thing with four eyes and two tails. He’d known it for daemon instantly, despite its strangeness. This wolf just seemed not quite right, somehow. He tried and failed to place it in Geralt’s endless bestiary, and came up blank. If there was a monster that looked almost exactly like a wolf but wasn’t one, Jaskier hadn’t heard of it. At least it wasn’t eating him. Yet.

He stayed frozen for a long few minutes, he and the wolf just staring at each other. Kazia landed on his shoulder, puffing herself up as much as she could, her claws digging in just shy of breaking skin. He tried to calm his thundering heart. Maybe the wolf would just go away. Maybe it had smelled what meager rations Jaskier had left. Should he make a go for his saddlebags and toss his last piece of salted beef at it? Would it attack him if he moved?

The wolf did not leave, nor did it attack him. Instead, after a long enough pause that Jaskier was afraid they’d be stuck at this impasse all night, it ducked its head and whined. It shifted forward, almost cautiously, as if it wanted to avoid spooking him. It snuffled around his feet, at his blanket, and whined again. It took another step closer. Then, to Jaskier’s terror, it butted its head into his chest.

Jaskier inhaled sharply, quickly, trying not to hyperventilate. The wolf whined again, one ear flicking. It moved its head back and butted against him again — not with any force, just pressing its head into Jaskier. It reminded him of...

“Do... do you... want... pets?”

His voice sounded hysterically high in his own ears, but the strained tone didn’t seem to scare the wolf. It butted into him again and whined emphatically, almost a quiet howl. Very, very tentatively, Jaskier lifted one hand and, telegraphing his movement so the wolf could pull away, gave the wolf a quick little scratch behind the ear.

The wolf gave a little huff and — of all fucking things — wagged its tail. It whined and turned its head into Jaskier’s hand, so Jaskier gave it a longer scratch this time. He could still feel Kazia’s heart thumping a million miles an hour, but her panic had abated somewhat. She hopped off his shoulder and onto his head, letting him lift his other arm to pet the wolf’s side. Up close, now that Jaskier could focus on something besides just size and eyes and teeth, the wolf seemed nearly pitiful. It was far too skinny beneath its fur, with mangy patches here and there. He caught sight of a line of scratches across its haunches. One eye looked crusty and swollen, as if it were infected.

“Poor thing,” Jaskier murmured. “Did you get left all alone too?”

The wolf howled, a low and piteous sound. It butted its head against his chest again and pressed into him. Jaskier wrapped his arms around the wolf, taking comfort he hadn’t wanted to admit he was craving in its solidity and warmth.

“Jask...” Kazia took off from his head again. “I don’t know if I like this. I thought she was a daemon at first but she’s not. I’ve never been mistaken about that before. I’ve never even heard of anyone being mistaken about that before.”

“She?” Jaskier leaned sideways, peeking between the wolf’s legs.

“That’s not the point!”

“I know, I know.” Jaskier leaned back from the wolf, getting another look into her face. “You’re... not a daemon, are you? You can’t be, you wouldn’t have come up and asked for pets if you were a daemon.” The wolf looked back at him, her gaze almost too steady for mere animal intelligence, but she didn’t speak, and no one jumped out from behind a tree to strangle Jaskier for molesting their daemon. “Where’d you come from, huh?” he murmured. The wolf only whined and pawed at the blanket where it had pooled on Jaskier’s lap. “You want to sleep with the blanket and the fire, I bet. I don’t blame you, it’s cold out there tonight.”

“Jaskier!” Kazia wailed. He looked over and shrugged helplessly at her.

“Do you want to tell the giant wolf to go off and mind her own business?” he hissed. “If she were going to eat me, I think she’d have done it by now.” He looked back at the wolf, one finger still idly scratching behind her ear. “You promise you’re not going to eat me?” The wolf huffed, blowing in his face. Jaskier, for the first time since he’d arrived at that godforsaken mountain, laughed. “I think she’s telling me I’d taste bad,” he said to Kazia. “You’re probably right,” he confided in the wolf. “I haven’t had a proper hot bath in two weeks.” The wolf huffed in his face again.

Kazia fluttered down to a nearby branch, and then again to the log she’d been on before, and then up near the wolf. The wolf looked at her, her gaze steady. Kazia landed on the wolf’s head.

“Kazia!” Jaskier yelped, but the wolf went still, and then let out another very quiet howl. Jaskier felt Kazia soften, saw her feather down smooth.

“Oh,” she said. “She’s so sad.” She looked up at Jaskier. “I still don’t know what she is but— I’ve never heard a sound that sad.” Jaskier’s fingers curled into the wolf’s fur. He leaned forward, resting against her shoulder.

“That makes all three of us,” he said. “A fine group of sad, lonely outcasts, hmm?” He shifted, trying to spread the blanket so the wolf could lie on some it without leaving Jaskier cold and exposed. Kazia took off again, landing back on her perch on the branch. “Here,” he said to the wolf, patting the blanket. “You can stay the night with us, if you want.” The wolf’s tail wagged again — just a brief lash back and forth — and then it turned itself in a circle, settling down against Jaskier’s side.

He was not going to cry for how all the times he had wished Geralt would lie down beside him, to keep him warm in the night. But he curled a hand in the wolf’s fur and let himself be lulled by her quiet breaths. “You know,” he mumbled, just on the cusp of sleep, “if Geralt did have a daemon, I bet she’d look exactly like you.”

After breaking camp the next morning, Jaskier got barely a hundred paces before he found the carnage.

The graveir’s throat was torn out — arduously, ripped along the edges, its thick skin snagged again and again until its head was all but severed from its body. It smelled of rot, its fingers were bloody, and it had white wolf hair sticking out of its wounds. The wolf gave a quiet whine when Jaskier froze at the sight of the thing. He glanced down at her, back at the graveir, and back at the wolf.

“Did—” He swallowed thickly. “Did you do that?” he asked. The wolf looked up at him and barked once. She stalked over to the graveir, growling at its body. Jaskier felt suddenly very faint. He steadied himself against a tree. Kazia flitted around his head, concern radiating off her.

“That thing got so close to our campsite,” she said. “Way too close.”

“Yeah,” Jaskier said, not quite hearing himself. “Yeah.” He shook his head. “Hey,” he called the wolf back over, and gave her a scratch behind the ears. “Good girl,” he told her. “Very good girl.” He looked up at Kazia. “I think she ought to come along as long as she wants to.” Kazia flitted down to land on his shoulder, puffing herself up territorially.

“As long as she understands that I’m your daemon.” Jaskier almost smiled, and tickled a finger over her head.

“Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite, Zizi,” he teased. He glanced down at the wolf again. She was smiling, her tongue lolling out of her mouth. She was clearly enjoyed the scratches. “Thank you,” he said, quietly. She howled in response, that low, piteous noise from last night, as if she dared not be any louder. Jaskier stood back up, hefting his pack, shifting the lute case against his back. “Right. I am not spending another night almost getting eaten alive, so let’s try and find the road again today.”

He traipsed off through the woods, leaving the mangled graveir behind him, Kazia flitting about his head and the mysterious wolf loping along at his side.

—————

(if it’s not super clear, that 100% is Geralt’s daemon. the conceit is that in this world part of becoming a witcher is being severed from your daemon, but Geralt’s escaped after that happened and she’s been wandering the wilderness. she’s lost a lot of herself, which is why she can’t speak and it’s iffy how much she understands, but she still remembers the smell of her lost human :’) and hopes that Jaskier can lead her back to him)

#the witcher #geraskier #answers #my writing #jaskier #fluffyblue-artnwriting

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juiceboxesheadcanons · 3 years

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Hello and good luck on the new blog! 🤗 If it's okay, I'd like to request some wholesome things the adultrio would do for their S/O. For example, how they'd hype their partner, what they'd do for them when they're not feeling well or stressed, things lile those. I hope it makes sense and thank you! Take care of yourself and I hope you have a great day/night! 🙇💕

AJDCJFJJGRJ YOU’RE SO SWEET ILYSM- yes you may have some of the troublesome trio thank you for asking 😁🧃 Warning: Includes bad language but no nsfw

Adult trio headcanons

Chrollo

🧃 this romantic little bi- 🧃 if you were sick he’d be like “I told you to wear a jacket.” and I wouldn’t be phased if he hit you with the “it’s bc of that DaMn phone.” but he’d enjoy taking care of you, yes the troupe will watch over you. He’d tell machi to go check on you, give you soup, tea, and those gross crackers he is sure will make you better. but just because he scolds doesn’t mean he isn’t a little softie for you and is so happy he can treat you like a little baby 🧃 stressed? why is baby stressed? school? hell no put that away and let me snuggle you until you’re better 😠 🧃 please play with his hair. please. I asked nicely. he LOVES it. 🧃 if you have a powerful nen ability he is OBSESSED with it. “That was amazing dear.” and all that stuff. he literally loves you do not take this for granted at all, 🧃 he finds you crying. why is Y/N crying? no cri fo u. no ma’am wipe those tears away and let’s go get your favorite takeout food and we hug until whatever made you sad is forgotten. If somebody made you cry, say goodbye to them cause they’re getting their neck: snapped 🧃 he calls you “my queen” because that’s what you are you beautiful looking mother f- 🧃 you went shopping? show him your clothes he wants to see how pretty you look in them rn

Illumi

🧃 😐 🧃 nah I’m just playing I love him, anyways if you were sick he literally would not genuinely understand what to do. The zoldycks don’t get sick bc they’re simply built different. he’d ask his butlers to run you a warm bath but after that bath you’re officially one with the bed. He’ll literally make sure you don’t leave that bed until you’re better. at this point just pretend you are so you can leave honestly he isn’t sure what to do he just wants his healthy happy princess back 🧃 stressed? oh. He literally would tell you that you need to keep your good grades and in a nice way, to get over it weakling. but if you started crying he’d feel bad and if it’s a good day even apologize for being so harsh on you 🧃 we all know by now this man is LOADED so shopping dates are regular because he isn’t sure where else to take you and of course hisoka won’t help cause he’s just away doing god knows what. if you want one thing just expect 97 of it in top quality. 🧃 he isn’t trying to buy your love he just doesn’t know how to express how much he adores you because his parents didn’t love him :( 🧃 you have a hobby? great. he’ll help pay for all the equipment, materials, practices, and may even research a thing or two so he can know why you’re so interested in this. when he watches you do your hobby he loves how you’re just so effortlessly good- poor guy is such a quiet hype man “that’s really good y/n” please he’s trying his best 🧃 please do haircare and facemasks with him. he may not say anything but he LOVES it. he thinks the cold facemasks are calming and it puts him in such a good mood. Have you seen rapunzals his hair? he most certainly enjoys how soft his hair is after its conditioned and shampooed. if its night he’ll snuggle you the rest of the night but if it’s day, he’ll probably have a soft smile. please just give this man huggies. 🧃 crying? what is wrong this time. he might just stand there and sit down with you. he isn’t that good at comforting. he’ll just pat your head as you vent all your feelings. he probably doesn’t feel that bad but he’d get you a cup of water-

Hisoka

🧃 ah yes, my favorite pEdOpHiLe

🧃 stressed. *sigh* he’d close your books and hold you like the little baby you are and tell you its okay and everybody needs breaks. you fall asleep in his arms and poof all of a sudden your favorite takeout is on the table. (we all know this man isn’t a great chef.) honestly he is doing great and trust me, he’s trying. He really is.

🧃 don’t even let him see you crying. he’d get sad seeing you sad, plop down next to you, ask why you’re crying, and then say it’s gonna be alright. you just gotta BeLiEvE. okay buy on a real note he’d probably slaughter whatever made you cry and if it was something stupid like you saw a baby bird fall out a tree he’d laugh and say “Y/N you’re so soft~”

🧃 You’re sick? “open wide dear~” he is having a field day feeding you and holding you in bed. He’d probably make you a sandwich and get you a water refill every 3 seconds. unlike illumi and chrollo he’d let you leave the house just wear layers and don’t go out for too long. he’d probably make you take him with you because he is worried for you shawty bae 😔✌

🧃 Him being the man he is he would somehow find out you were terrified of bugs and it’d be his life goal to scare you every time he found a random spider in the corner. he wouldn’t go too far he’d just tease you every now and then but only to see where your limits are. (consider him a smart man hm~)

🧃 if you’re short I got some news for you miss girl, he will literally tease you about it every day- using your head as a arm or chin rest is his favorite thing to do because of how mad you get, “tehe angry y/n is cute~”

🧃 this man. He would literally get up at 3am and change all the clocks in the house to 10am to make you think you were late and then say “did you have a meeting today?~” and laugh as you scramble around to find your shoes and walk out to see pitch black. he’s just the little prankster like that. he also enjoys putting flour in your blow dryer so you get a face full of flour when you wake up.

🧃 he loves you, you’re his darling now go let him kiss kiss you pls

Alright that’s the end! I decided to make it long bc I be feeding my requesters breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with snacks in between 😀 anyways this actually took 1 hour bc tumblr deleted it like 4 times so yEAh, I hope you enjoy 🧃✨

#hxh headcanons #adult trio

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hello-mojo · 3 years

Text

[Ok so the following is a story, (Rise Above This was was a working title) I was working on this completely on my own and I was quite excited about it. I actually had tried to plot out the progression and main plot points, and a few other notes for things I needed to look up and research to mesh the timelines a bit better. I hadn't gotten around to it though and now... well I don't know if I'll ever bring myself to write fanfiction anymore. I loved this story premise though and had such Hope's for it... ah well. The first chapter was completed but there was supposed to be so much more.. Frances having accidental magic and then getting sick and Healer Harry to save her... ah well. If you like the fic let me know, if you want to adopt it, comment.

Oh one other thing... not all the songs are actually nirvana songs, there's a pearl jam song used too but I was looking for songs in the right genre that seemed to work for the plot. It's all fair in fanfic right?

Anyhooty... I doubt I'll post the stories that were completed on my main profile as I orphaned them and they can still be viewedon archive just look up my old. Penname CagedNTorn.

For unfinished stuff I had oh let's see... 3 different charlie/Draco fics I was working on, one that was all but complete... I had a draco/spike crossover fic, plus there was the sailormooon/Harry Potter crossover... that was actually a Drarry fic too, there were a bunch of things that I'll likely never finish. So I'll post them by and by.

Do let me know if there's a better place to post the plot bunnies that are up for grabs.

Now I've blathered enough so here's the first chapter of Rise that can be adopted if someone is interested in finishing it.]

Rise Above This

Draco was backstage at the place he was playing that night. He sat tuning his guitar wearing ripped jeans and a white long sleeve thermal t-shirt with thumb holes burnt in and also a mohair sweater he was particularly comfortable in. Western Washington state was wet and cold pretty much all the time.

This didn't really bother the English man though as England had similar weather. He'd grown his hair out and had it cut shaggy and it hung in his eyes perpetually now but he didn't care. It drove his mother nuts whenever she came to visit.

Narcissa still hadn't quite gotten the hang of blending in with muggles but she was getting better. She was sitting nearby chattering about her trip to France. She was wearing faded bluejeans and a fitted corset top that she'd bought in paris. She also had a posh cashmere sweater on where most of the kids were wearing flannel and converse sneakers, just like Draco.

She had her long blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail. Draco smiled at her as she nattered-on about wines and the latest runway fashions. At least he still had her. Pansy was floating around somewhere too, probably flirting with someone.

"I just don't understand why you have to look so scruffy though darling. You have such a lovely face! Can't you at least comb your hair back?" Narcissa was saying. Draco rolled his eyes at her but gave her a shit-eating grin.

"Because I like looking scruffy. It pisses off the establishment. Even if it didn't, I'd still do it. Hiding myself away is comfortable." Draco said, handing his guitar to a stagehand.

"Besides, this grungy war refugee look suits him. He's ridiculously hot." Pansy stated with a grin as she sidled up to accompany Narcissa out front to watch the show. Draco could already hear the crowd cheering as the lights went down. Draco and the 2 other blokes, 1 squib and one muggleborn, all cast outs of the wizarding world lined up off stage. They formed a circle and everyone put a hand in and they shook them, clapped and cried out their chant.

"Music and ass, gas or grass. We're here for a good time, not here for a long time. Lets do this!" Draco led the chant the guys all cheered and then took the stage. Dave went first and started a drum beat, Krist was next and began the base-line. Then Draco, carrying his electric guitar, went to the mic. He never looked at the audience. He wasn't here for them, not really. He was here for himself. Because he had something to say. Even if no one really understood him or interpreted his messages clearly.

"Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up

Choice is yours, don't be late

Take a rest as a friend

As an old memoria."

He strummed the chords and sang the song not really looking at anyone. He was trying quite unsuccessfully not to think about a certain messy haired brunette.

After the war he'd had every single door slammed in his face. Even the most menial of jobs wouldn't hire him. Potter had kept his word and put in a good word for him and his mother but the blonde on stage really didn't know why he'd bothered. No one in the Wizarding world wanted him or any other Slytherin around. Dave was a muggleborn Slytherin in the year below Draco and had also been chased out.

"Take your time, hurry up

Choice is yours, don't be late

Take a rest as a friend

As an old memory."

It was hard not to think of Potter when he sang this song because it was about him, at least mostly. There was always a thinly veiled anti establishment opinion mixed in. The fans loved it though and he didn't really mind. It’s not like Harry would ever show up and hear it. He was too busy still saving the world, having babies and whatever else it was that heros did. Not Draco. His long shaggy hair hung in his face as he sang the chorus, and shook his head. Just one word. Memory. His best and worst thing. His respite and the source of his nightmares.

He finished off the song and they hit a heavy chord progression into the next song.

"Load up on guns, bring your friends

It's fun to lose and to pretend

She's over bored and self assured

Oh no, I know a dirty word"

The kids surged forward jumping up and down and shaking their heads as they raised their fists in the air and sang along.

Draco had worked with Dave to put his thoughts on the war into muggle terms. He thought they'd done pretty good honestly. Even if they hadn't, the teenagers in Seattle and California couldn't get enough. He screamed the chorus and the kids screamed it with him.

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us

I feel stupid and contagious

Here we are now, entertain us

A mulatto

An albino

A mosquito

My libido

Yeah, hey, yay"

Five years ago Draco had left the wizarding world and his mother behind. Narcissa was more than able to take care of herself. Draco wasn't concerned about her in that respect. His father had been a lot of things but stupid had never been one of them. Misguided certainly, but not stupid.

Luscious had moved money around in various accounts all over the world. He'd taken Draco with him on nearly all of his business trips. Draco had had many private tutors growing up and could speak French, English, Russian and German fluently. He could read in several languages. His father had insisted. Draco learned to balance a ledger when most kids were learning to ride a bicycle.

When the ministry had seized their accounts in Gringotts, they hadn't even seized a tenth of the true fortune. Draco hadn't needed to work. He'd wanted to. However no one would let him. So he'd packed a duffle bag of casual clothes, taken his muggle id and cards and left for America. He'd covered his accent fairly well he thought, and if he came off sounding like a stoned southerner at times… no one pointed it out.

He met Dave hanging around kings cross station panhandling. The two 18 year olds decided to strike out together. Draco and Dave were sitting together at some boardwalk in Seattle, Washington when Draco flipped his skateboard and saw a kid playing guitar near-by. He'd been hooked from the first chord. He'd bought them instruments and they taught themselves to play.

"I think you'll all know this next one."

Draco hit the distinctive chords and the kids in the audience squealed with delight. This was more personal, more singing than the growly screaming. More about his feelings than anything else. He hid in his hair not seeing anyone. In his mind he tried to be back in that skatepark with scraped knees, just him and Dave.

"What else should I be?

All apologies

What else should I say?

Everyone is gay

What else should I write?

I don't have the right

What else should I be?

All apologies."

He sang the words not looking at his mother, not caring about her reaction to that statement. He'd forgotten she hadn’t heard this particular song before. Well she had to find out sooner or later he supposed.

"I wish I was like you

Easily amused

Find my nest of salt

Everything is my fault

I'll take all the blame

Aqua seafoam shame

Sunburn, freezer burn

Choking on the ashes of her enemy."

Draco finished the song and the kids were crying out various songs they wanted to hear while cheering and clapping. Draco loved it. He lived for it. They only had one more song to play. It would end the show on a high note before the next band took the stage. The next song he was about to play was about a lot of things. Various parts of the war, Tom Riddles beginnings, the discrimination in the Wizarding world, his own parents a bit. In hindsight, Draco realized that he likely should have adjusted the set list a bit when he'd found out his mother was coming to the show. 'Too late to do anything about it now.' He thought to himself. Maybe they'd finally have a real conversation for a change. He set his guitar in a stand nearby and took a deep breath.

"At home

Drawing pictures

Of mountain tops

With him on top

Lemon yellow sun

Arms raised in a V

And the dead lay in pools of maroon below."

He shook his head, hiding in his hair and not seeing anyone. Only Dave and Krist, only his guitar. The kids screamed and jumped and sang along. Draco thrashed around stage with them, just the microphone cord wrapped around his hand.

"Daddy didn't give attention

Oh, to the fact that mommy didn't care

King Tommy the Wicked

Ruled his world

Tommy spoke in class today

Tommy spoke in class today"

The guys backed him up intermittently on the chorus and the base thumped throughout the song, a steady heartbeat. Draco couldn’t let himself worry about hurting his mother's feelings. He sang what he needed to say. He knew nothing was ever simple. There were at least two sides to every story and a variety of contributing factors.

"Clearly I remember

Pickin' on the boy

Seemed a harmless little fuck

But we unleashed a snake

Gnashed his teeth

And bit the recess lady's breast."

Draco knew the words painted a vivid picture. He didn't care. Maybe people would learn that bullying others for shit beyond their control was stupid and had far reaching consequences. There were certainly a few chapters in his story that he'd like to rewrite.

"How could I forget

And he hit me with a surprise left

My jaw left hurting

Dropped wide open

Just like the day

Oh, like the day I heard."

There was no possible way he could make up for some of the shit he'd done. He knew that. He tried to just pass on the lessons. Hoping that if he could even reach just one person, it'd be worth it. Exile in the muggle world. They weren't so bad really. Their fashions were quite fun, and much more functional than robes. He missed making potions, doing magic. It was a particular skill set that he was good at. There was no place in the muggle world for magic. He had to be even more careful now that they were getting really famous. People were always watching him. Hiding in the bushes, trying to sneak into his hotel room, everyone wanted pictures of him to sell to the press. He couldn't risk anyone seeing him perform magic. He did little things like casting stasis charms or heating up a hot beverage, or casting a cooling charm on himself and the guy's. He knew his mind was spiraling away from the uncomfortable conversation with his mother that he was anticipating after this.

"Daddy didn't give affection, no!

And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear

King Tommy The Wicked

Ruled his world

Try to erase this (try to erase this)

From the blackboard."

He knew his parents had loved him. They had been very cold, and reserved in all things though. His mother could be formidable when she wanted to be and his father was doting yet terrifying. That was something about Tom Riddle's life that Draco had been able to understand. Feeling alone, as if no one cared, no one understood you. He knew how cruel kids could be, because he had been the one leading the mockery in his day.

He'd never once thought about what it might feel like on the other side of it. Until he'd been on the receiving end of such mockery, ridicule and unfairness did he begin to re-think his actions as a snotty young man. The crowd was going wild.

Draco stood as the lights came up and he bowed with the guys. They all smiled and waved to their fans. Off stage, he saw his mother standing with Pansy. Narcissa looked a mixture of hurt, worried and angry. A reporter from MTV was there, shoving a microphone in his face. Draco smiled his small smile, just a turning up of the corners of his mouth really. He answered all of the questions asked in a rare and rather lengthy interview, glad for the temporary reprieve from his mother for the moment.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar set of green eyes and messy black hair, accompanied by none other than Hermione Granger and a regular. Analese Taylor was no stranger to Draco. She had been a fan since the band's boardwalk skate park days. Now that they were famous, she was their number one fan. The way Granger was clutching her arms, the strong resemblance between the two women, Draco could slap himself for not realizing what was so familiar about the girl. She had to be related to Granger, no other explanation.

Before he could really panic about the three familiar faces another familiar set of arms was thrown around his knees and a very delighted

"Daddy!" Rang through the room as his daughter Frances threw her arms around him. Draco glanced around for his soon to be ex wife. He spotted her nearby with arms crossed, looking furious. He sighed deeply as he scooped his daughter into his arms. The child was his whole world outside of his music. Draco glanced back towards Potter and Granger as his wife stormed over as the press and other onlookers were cleared out by Pansy.

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paradise-creator · 3 years

Note

Hellooo!! I love love LOVE the diamond box matchup you did!! You're amazing!! Your blog is incredible!! Now I'm here for a romantic haven box Haikyuu matchup pls🥺

Appearance: My name is Kay! She/her, black, straight, 5'1, I have a slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol idk), short-ish hair(like mid-neck), dark brown eyes, shoe size 9, I like to dress comfy so I'm always in oversized hoodies, sweatpants, sneakers, sweatshirts and shorts. I like colorful clothes too, high waisted jeans and shorts and boots. I'm not very fashionable but I try lol.

Personality:

Basics: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert.

Some positive traits: I'm optimistic, friendly, energetic, organized, enthusiastic, observant, happy, open-minded, loving, encouraging and inquisitive!!

Some negative traits: I'm annoying, perfectionist, insecure, forgetful, easily distracted, kinda lazy, argumentative, too nice at times and clingy.

I love learning new things!! Currently I'm learning Korean, how to draw, how to paint and songs on the saxophone.

When I'm up for it, I love fun physical activity!! Going for a hike, going to the gym, bungee jumping, mountain climbing, going camping and etc :D

Although I love going out, nothing beats lazy days at home. I can spend hours by myself and still be happy. When alone I usually sleep or watch a movie/anime or practice my drawing or saxophone or try and learn something new!

I have a horrible memory and can never remember important dates 😭 I've forgotten my own birthday a few times (rip) so people can get mad at me for missing appointments, forgetting birthdays and other important days. I try my best to organize everything necessary on my phone calendar so I can be reminded.

I love seeing people happy! Nothing can fulfill my day more than knowing I put a smile on someone's face! I usually try my best to help out anyone who needs it and to the best of my ability! This has led to me getting taken advantage of in the past but I can't help but try and make others happy. I've developed a thicker skin and some trust issues as I've grown up because of it.

I love hyping my friends/family up!! Do you need a boost in confidence? Here I am, ready to help you remember the absolute king/queen/royalty that you are!! I'm usually very energetic and enthusiastic about many things and I love spreading positivity around!!

My love language is physical touch! So touch is very important to me in my relationships. Though I am insecure so I tend to think that I smother the people I care about with too much affection idk lol. I live for hugs and cuddles and hand holding 👉🏿👈🏿 but because of that I feel like I'm very clingy and annoying skskfksjd

I'm introverted in nature so although I mean usually full of energy and love making new friends, I can't do it for too long lol. My social battery runs out really fast and I have to hide away and recharge before I can be fully social again, otherwise I won't be my best self. I treasure personal time and understand when people need time for themselves too.

I love spontaneity!! I love living in the moment and doing stuff just for the hell of it!! Wanna go on a road trip? Dance in the rain? Build houses for charity? Go to McDonald's at 2am? Go on a long walk? SIGN ME UP!!

I can also be lazy and unmotivated to do stuff. If something doesn't interest me, I'd find myself incapable of doing it or I'd do it with great difficulty. I'm one of those 'do something when inspiration/motivation hits you otherwise it'll be absolute shit' types.

But when I do have motivation/inspiration that's when my perfectionism comes in and I have to do it in the best possible way and anything less is an insult to me, my family, my ancestors and descendants lmaoo. Unfortunately I subconsciously set a very high bar for myself which can be overwhelming and stressful but when I manage to produce work of that quality, it's very satisfying and rewarding jshkshdhsj

I have more to add but I feel like this is getting way too long 💀 lemme just move to the next section heheheh

Hobbies: I LOVE listening to music, learning new things, watching movies/anime, sleeping, reading, writing, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, drawing, journaling, making friends, and cooking!

My music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, KPOP, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, trap, krnb, anime OP's and bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Queen, Khalid, Ateez, Harry styles, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Fun facts:

I'm more of a cat person but I live dogs and think they're adorable!!

I have four piercings and I plan on getting more soon!!

I'm a night owl, and get super grumpy in the mornings especially when woken up unexpectedly >:/

Although I love making friends, I only have like 1/2 super close friends and like 20+ acquaintances lol

I want to get a tattoo soon but idk what to get :(

I'm super addicted to coffee (rip) and if I don't take some for some time (like a week) I'll get the worst migraines and I won't feel better until I drink some coffee 😭

That's it!! I hope i wrote enough stuff!! Did I leave anything out? If you need more pls tell me and I'll send another ask :D Take your time!! I'm in no rush. I'll patiently wait even though you get writers block or have a large amount of asks 😌 pls stay safe and healthy!! Drink lots of water, sleep well and have an amazing day/night!! 💙✨

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ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Journal of Feelings

- 3 am shenanigans

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Sugawara Koushi, Vice-captain of Karasuno

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- OKAY so like, as I read your description I thought of Akaashi or Yaku or Sugawara

- Me being the indecisive author I am had trouble picking

- But then I remembered that you loved to do spontaneous things.

- And that's when I realized that Sugawara is THE ONE

- You two would be deemed the "3 am couple"

- Or in the team it would be "Epitome of Chaos"

- He takes care of you

- He will alway remind you that you don't need to be perfect

- Insecurities? BE GONE

- Nagativity? BE GONE

- That's basically his motto

- He is both your mom and partner in Crime

- did I mention he will take care of you?

- CUDDLES AND KISSES FOR DAYS

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Journal of feelings

- Once this man realizes that you LOVE physical affection. He will give it to you. EVERYTIME HE SEES YOU

Kay entered the gym to watch her boyfriend play. She tried sneaking in and so far it has been great. She thought she was off the hook but then felt a familiar arms wrapped around her waist. "I found you~" Sugawara said with a smile.

- You both would often plan pranks and majority of the times, it would succeed

"Okay okay, so what are we doing today?" Kay asked the silver haired male. "Oh~ maybe we can scare Asahi or anyone for that matter with a beetle?" Sugawara suggested. "That's--no," Kay responded.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

3 am shenanigans

It’s 3 am in the morning. Almost everyone is fast asleep or in their homes, well almost. The night sky is littered with diamond in the sky. The streets were silent but it was comforting. A few people walked here and there. And a few cars passes by there and here. “What are we doing up so late?” A silver haired man said as he yawned. “We’ll be going to Mc Donald’s! What else?” The female responded as she smiled at him. “Is it even open at this time?” He asked. “Koushi, darling, it is open,” Kay, the lover of our beloved silvered male man said as she smiled. Sugawara chuckled and held her hand, the smile on his face was evident. “You know, we should be sleeping by now right?” He said as he pulled her closer. “And so what? I wasn’t planning on sleeping early! I slept the whole day yesterday and missed the chance to hang out with you,” The girl responded.

A small blush appeared on the male’s face and he giggled. “That’s very sweet bu-“ He was about to say but was silenced by the girl. “That was very sweet but we could’ve done this later on or tomorrow. Well, sorry to break it to you, Love. But, we are here,” She said as she pulled the male inside the fast food chain. And soon enough, the two got their orders and enjoyed their meal. “I don’t know why but this hits different,” Kay said as she eat a French fry. “It really does. Especially since you are here,” Sugawara stated as he patted her head. Now, she was the one blushing. As the two chatted, the other customers and staff glanced at them every now and then. None of them were annoyed at their interactions. On the contrary, they enjoyed watching them,

Some felt envious of their relationship. Some dreamt to have something like that. And others remembered the times of old. The two were so sweet, it’s almost too much. Laughter and chattering echoed through the building from both the couple and the people around them. Then they were dub the “3 am couple” as the two would often venture in that restaurant at 3 am in the morning.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

I'm so so sorry for the long wait! This week has been hectic. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this matchup~ and thanks for requesting!

#☁️matchup #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchup #fanfic #anime #fiction #sugawara koushi #sugawara kōshi #Sugawara #sugawara headcanon #match ups #hq matchups #hq sugawara #Anime matchups #BlackPearl

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Liam & Edie

Liam: get out of work early, I need your help Edie: alright Edie: what are we doing? Liam: I finished a 🎬📽🎞 & it has to be screened tonight at a specific time Edie: do you know what cinema you wanna infiltrate Edie: like, max capacity blockbuster moment or a more independent arthouse style? Edie: I have ideas for both, if you don't already Liam: gotta be sold out seats for max exposure Edie: looking up whatever dumb superhero shit is on right now Liam: put the word out for me too, yeah? 📢 you've got more 👀 on you Edie: of course Edie: keep it vague but intriguing? Edie: what's the angle Liam: my sister is Edie: your sister? Liam: she's 16, would've been Liam: today Edie: the film is for her Edie: not a hard sell Edie: every twat loves a party Liam: every twat's forgotten about her already Liam: I have to do something Edie: I'll get all the people there I can Edie: 16 is a big one Liam: I'm looking for a cake to blow up Liam: big enough to splatter lots of rows but not too huge to sneak in Edie: really do need a pram Edie: if you do wanna go big, my ma has a kiln, easy to bake in and quicker Edie: I could put it in a backpack or some ridiculously oversized handbag my sister has Liam: you're amazing Edie: you or the audience haven't tasted the cake yet Liam: be more fitting if it tastes bad Liam: like we're shoving bittersweet down everyone's throats Liam: & in their faces Edie: that's easily done Edie: toxic hazard here we come Edie: how long have you been working on the vid? Liam: a while Edie: are you happy with it? Liam: there's no more time left to do edits Liam: I gotta get it out there, like I said Liam: 18 is gonna need something bigger Edie: timing is key Edie: did you talk about it Edie: what she'd want to do Liam: looking that far ahead wasn't something she let herself do Edie: that's fair Edie: I haven't looked that far ahead before Edie: we'll make it special Edie: something she'd approve of Liam: there has to be some way to throw a party after that's not the standard gay shit Edie: an anti-party Liam: yeah, without being ☢️ & barcode tattoos about it Edie: so a disgusting cake, what else can we fuck up Edie: bastardized 🎈s are almost a given Edie: maybe we can play some party games Liam: use your talents on the happy birthday song Edie: I'll do my best for you both Edie: did she believe anything happened after you die? Liam: she wanted to come back as someone else, show up back in my life just when she reckoned it'd gotten settled & boring Liam: but I don't think she really believed that, just didn't want me to turn into one of those twats Edie: yeah, most people want to believe something like that Edie: some continuation Edie: but the percentage who genuinely do, I don't know Liam: a lot of shit she said was for my benefit of my ma's, I don't know if she knew I knew that but I did Edie: Yeah Edie: but through reassuring you, she was probably trying to give herself that same comfort Edie: again, whether it worked is unlikely, but we keep going 'til we don't Liam: yeah Liam: I have certainty in her not wanting everyone to act as if she was never here this fast, I'm going with that Liam: her friends, a lad she liked, they're supposed to give more of a shit Edie: we'll make them remember Edie: I was thinking Edie: she'd be in transition year now Edie: they're always having bollocks seminars and lectures Edie: that would be easy to hijack Edie: well, not easy, but we could Liam: you're so fucking smart Liam: I didn't even think Edie: it'd be a way to get the ones who won't hear our call tonight Edie: which are arguably the ones who need a lesson in caring more so Liam: keep it going like pass the parcel Edie: a project worth the waste of time that whole year is Liam: then a holiday, me & you Liam: where we won't waste any time Edie: are we going to find a holiday home? Liam: did you like living with me? Edie: so much Edie: I wanna live with you properly Edie: all the time Liam: then yeah, we'll find a holiday home & when we get back you can move into mine Edie: really? Liam: our mas will both have shit to say about it but so do we Edie: if they're really going to object to that degree Edie: we'll work for enough money to rent our own place Liam: & sleep wherever else we have to until we've got that Edie: as long as I'm with you Edie: I miss you when I'm not Liam: I wanna be with you all the time too Edie: maybe if we split our time between mine and yours, they wouldn't even notice Liam: they can tell themselves they're keeping a better 👀 on us if we do Edie: yeah, and it's not 'as serious' as moving in together Edie: in their minds Edie: guess it'd be better if we were going 'round sleeping with anyone and everyone Liam: I've had more offers since I got a girlfriend than before Liam: must be a shared view between our parents & lots of the girls at school Edie: 😡 Edie: adds to them feeling something if they get to fuck someone over at the same time as, I guess Liam: I'll never hurt you or let anyone else do it Edie: I know you won't Liam: I love you Edie: I love you Edie: no one is gonna stop us from living the life we want Liam: [a pic of a pram he has stolen for her to fill with stuff and there's a birthday pinata in there currently like oh hi] Liam: I found this for you Edie: 😍 Edie: Baby! Edie: you got me wheels Liam: I couldn't stop thinking about you struggling with a heavy backpack Edie: You're so sweet and I'm so excited Edie: is what's going in the pinata a surprise? Liam: I was gonna tell you but lets keep the excitement going Edie: is it 🕷s Edie: or 🦷 Liam: do you know where I can get that many 🦷? Liam: that'd be a great idea Edie: 🤔 Edie: maybe a vet's dumpster Edie: think people dentists study 'em Liam: maybe my ma kept our 👶 teeth Liam: I'll have a look Edie: Mine kept hers Edie: you'd need quite a few to make an impression Liam: the fake blood I'm gonna add will help Liam: but you're right Edie: there's loads of roadkill around mine Edie: could get that for the 🦴🦴 Liam: I don't know if I want you touching it though Liam: you could get sick or something Edie: I've got gloves Edie: the only illness they had was potentially bad eyesight 🚗 Liam: you've gotta be careful, baby Edie: okay Edie: for you Edie: how else can I help you though? Edie: the cake is in Liam: keep thinking, all your ideas are perfect Edie: I wanna be Edie: what about spiking the drinks, but not in a fun way Edie: or is that too 👿 Edie: just a laxative or something, nothing mad Liam: it don't matter, we won't drink it Edie: I definitely won't Edie: don't even miss any of it Liam: we need something that'll make them 🤮 she did lots of that Liam: only fair Edie: what does that 💊🧪 wise Edie: too much salt is a dead giveaway with one sip Liam: charcoal is probably too big a giveaway too Liam: & you can't get ipecac no more Edie: 😕 ugh Liam: we'll have to settle for the laxatives Edie: they'll make themselves sick all on their own Liam: you did make a fucking disgusting cake Edie: you don't even wanna know what I put in it 😏 Liam: I want all your secrets Edie: you can have everything Edie: [a gruesome list of god knows what] Edie: it smells so gross cooking right now Liam: don't make yourself 🤮 Edie: I'm getting some fresh air Liam: what can you 👀? Edie: from here, the pond Edie: which also smells, so I might need to go look at the 🍅🥔s growing instead Liam: go decide on your outfit Edie: what do you want me to look like? Liam: beautiful Edie: nothing more specific? Liam: nah, not until I've seen what you come up with Liam: you test well Edie: 🤞 Liam: 😍 Edie: that's what I want Edie: always Liam: I want you Edie: I can't wait to go away with you Edie: are we going to the sea Liam: we can Liam: we can go anywhere you like Edie: I just wanna watch the sun go down under the waves with you Liam: you watch that, I'll watch your face while it does Edie: You're so Edie: you make me feel like a person Edie: a real one, that matters Liam: you matter to me, Eds Edie: I'm not used to this feeling Liam: you know I'm not either Liam: we'll get used to it Edie: it's like I believe you but I can't believe it Edie: if that makes sense Liam: I get it Liam: I do need you to believe me though Edie: I do Edie: you're just perfect Liam: nah, I'm not Edie: to me then Liam: whatever's wrong with me, we're good together Edie: we're going to make a perfect baby Edie: that always feels like a person Liam: I'm gonna love it even if things go wrong Liam: I need you to know that too Edie: I know you will Edie: and I believe that Edie: I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't Edie: you won't be able to not love your own child Edie: even if it's hard Liam: & I'll wanna be with you, perfect or not Liam: whatever else happens Edie: we can do it Edie: I love you and I want it to work Edie: I wanna be a good mum and give the baby all the love and attention and everything it could ever want and need Edie: that is so much more than most people have Liam: the baby is so fortunate to have you for its ma Liam: you've done everything right already & its not even here yet Edie: I wanna do it right Edie: I can't imagine doing it wrong Liam: I know you will Liam: you set your mind on shit & it gets done, that's how you are Edie: makes me sound like an assassin Edie: don't hate that Liam: I don't hate thinking about you holding a 🔪 Edie: next video Liam: it'll be on my mind until then Edie: I can give you a preview Edie: if you show me the fake blood Liam: [does obviously] Edie: 🤤 Liam: I made extra for you knowing you'd be into it Edie: That's just one of the reasons we work Liam: are you gonna give me the rest of them? Edie: I'll start on the list but I don't know if it'll ever be done enough to be conclusive Edie: and I'd hate for you to think I'm not serious Liam: that's another reason why we work Edie: see, they keep adding up Edie: good thing I didn't commit to tattooing it on me Edie: run out of space so quick Liam: I don't think her video is done enough Liam: I don't know what to do Edie: You'll regret it if you miss her birthday, I think Edie: you'll have chances to add to it and improve on it every year if you want Edie: it's a tough one to know what's enough on, yeah Edie: 'cos what could be Liam: if it's shit I'll have ruined her birthday Edie: do you think it's shit? Liam: I can't tell Liam: I can't feel anything Edie: I can watch it before you show it Edie: or you can just do it Edie: they aren't going to forget it though, regardless, and that's what you want, yeah Edie: for them to remember her Liam: you've gotta watch it on a big screen Liam: I'll watch you & I'll know if it's good or not Edie: okay Edie: I won't tell you I know it'll be good Edie: cheapen my actual reaction Liam: 👌 what do you wanna tell me instead? Edie: another reason we work is you're talented and creative too Liam: I have to try to bring something to the table if we want a perfect baby Edie: you mean aside from how insanely hot you are Liam: its gonna look like you so that don't count Edie: maybe it'll get to be tall like you Edie: my 10 year old sister is already taller than me Liam: you only wanna be taller for kissing me Liam: there'll be a no dating rule until they're like old enough to properly move out Edie: might save your back, that's all Edie: they won't need to, they'll be happy with us Liam: I've already saved yours with this pram, I'm not bothered about mine Edie: but I am Edie: I'll invest in some stilts Liam: & have you snatched up by the circus, nah Liam: don't matter if its twins in there, I'll pick you all up Edie: 🥰 Edie: you make me look and feel like that emoji, legitimately Liam: [a picture of some random people he's sneakily taken a photo of while he's out and about and changed so they have no eyes because he misses and wants to see her rn] Edie: ooh baby Edie: 👁s would be a great pinata filling Liam: have we got time to turn 🍇 or some gay shit into 👀 like a ma on halloween? Edie: OH Edie: speaking of mas Edie: just had a 💡 Liam: what? Edie: she has mealworms to feed the 🐦🦅s Edie: too late for the cake but how perfect Liam: genius Edie: my next idea was going to get some caviar but I don't think my wage is stretching that far Liam: I could steal some Liam: dunno where the fuck from though Edie: bet they don't have any at the spar Edie: there are tadpoles in the pond but I'm not murdering them Liam: the worms will work Liam: I'm on my way to yours, how long til the cake is cooked? Edie: you're coming here Edie: 😄😄😄 the excitement is only going ↗️ Edie: about 10 minutes, though a bit of burning can't hurt Liam: I thought you'd like a hand with decorating Edie: I'd like to see you Liam: you miss me too Edie: so bad Liam: I know Edie: come see me Liam: I kept the secret for as long as I could but I'm nearly there now Edie: no secrets, right Liam: I don't want there to be Edie: I'll tell you everything you wanna know Liam: tell me what we're doing tomorrow Liam: after this Edie: we're gonna get in the car and drive 'til we get somewhre we want to stop Edie: and we'll get fish and chips and ice cream and play on the beach and then we can talk about bringing the baby back and doing it all again Liam: the baby's face when it eats ice cream for the first time Liam: & feels what sand is like Liam: we'll film it all Edie: 🥺 Edie: I feel like I might cry? Liam: everything we don't remember any more we'll do again with our 👶 Edie: there's so much good stuff to relive Edie: stuff we didn't get to do too Liam: yeah, there's lots of shit I've not done Liam: I used to feel properly awkward about it Edie: just 'cos my childhood was weird in an 'exotic' way doesn't mean it weren't too Edie: there's loads of Irish childhood staples that we didn't have Edie: we'll make that list too, for the 👶 Liam: I can't think of a better way to start the baby book Edie: I'm gonna do it for your birthday Liam: yeah? Edie: I've got a feeling Liam: that might be knowing that I'm outside Edie: [dramatic run out] Liam: [we know he's as extra and would immediately stop whatever he's doing/ drop whatever he's holding so they can kiss dramatically, don't get a hole in that pinata yet sir] Edie: [ah you crazy kids, dunno where the rest of the fam is tbh] Liam: [100% gonna say he puts her in the pram and pushes her into this gaff like a giant nerd, so imagine her just squished in there please] Edie: [LOL adorable, try not to break it already] Liam: [you probably don't have time to do pram repairs on top of everything else lads] Edie: [we got schemes honey] Liam: [if you don't draw on each other with icing pens when you're decorating this cake I don't wanna know either of you] Edie: [my boo has put her foot down] Liam: [all the tattoo practice and ideas in any possible artistic medium thank you] Liam: [we all know what saucy behaviour you'll be getting up to as soon as he gets there though] Edie: [but the softest ever tbh 'cos a tough day and you just wanna make sure he's okay] Liam: [honestly there's only so busy you can keep yourself boy, we all see you] Edie: [not gonna force you to talk on it but also gonna be clear it's an option] Liam: [he's just trying to get today over with as if tomorrow and on any other day he won't think about it, oh hun] Edie: [mood] Liam: [where is his mother? what is she doing rn? those are my real questions] Edie: [sad things don't think about it Liam: [anyway we know the vibe so is there anything else you wanna make a point of happening rn before we skip to the aftermath?] Edie: [hmhmhmmm we can probably skip] Liam: [everyone gonna be cross at you lads] Edie: [I like to think the fam was there earlier so they were already moody, but then you come back with the police and you're gonna skip town tomorrow so lol] Liam: [his poor mum having to go down the garda station when she's already living her best life, likewise gonna be in a great mood] Edie: [safe to say you will not be invited back tonight gal] Liam: [Rio is gonna tear Liam a new one cos he was all I'm gonna look after her it's chill when they last talked haha] Edie: [oh lordy] Liam: [I just hope they got to do all their creepy plans before the police ruined it] Edie: [or at least the important ones, and that it went well in that people are talking about it] Liam: [gotta let you have that] Edie: [tis important and a mood] Edie: how's your ma now Liam: she's still going Edie: I thought she'd like it Edie: if you explained what you did Liam: she likes what we did but not how Liam: she don't understand that playing it in the sitting room wouldn't work Edie: she wants to keep it all private Edie: if people feel uncomfortable it's only because they should Liam: we know that Edie: is she more 😭 or 😤 Edie: one is easier to deal with Liam: it's both, at the same time for a while Edie: that must be so exhausting Liam: it's just what she's like Edie: you've not really known her any different? Liam: I must have, but I don't remember Liam: not clear enough Edie: I'm sorry Edie: if I could've taken the blame harder, I would've Liam: I don't want you to take any of it Edie: I don't care about getting into trouble Liam: you will if it sticks next time & you maybe can't earn as much cash Liam: be the perfect ma you've set your heart on Edie: not at the sake of you though Edie: it's so unfair I couldn't take my fair share Liam: you did, you weren't there for the shit I did before that got me my talking to from the 🐷 Liam: it's about her not you Edie: yeah, I know Edie: wish we'd saved the pinata for them though 🐷🤮☠ Liam: we'll make a 🎬📹 I've still got the rave masks Edie: Yes Edie: it's the least we can do Liam: you'll feel a bit better at least Edie: no, it's not about me Edie: how do you think it went, before they showed Liam: you thought it went decently I could see it in your 👀 Edie: it did Edie: it was beautiful Edie: but did you like it? Liam: I reckon she would've Edie: she'd be proud, for sure Liam: yeah Edie: but I am, whilst I can't guarantee that Edie: I can this Edie: are we still going tomorrow Liam: I'll show up, if you can't get out send me a 6 Edie: I'll get out Liam: safely Liam: I'm not gonna watch you fall out your window Edie: I won't, babe Edie: no guard dogs here Edie: they can't keep permanent watch Liam: no 🔥🌉 either though Liam: your ma must already hate me Edie: I'm not staying though Edie: I'll pretend to listen to them Liam: I understand baby, I don't want to be here Edie: I want to take you to the beach Liam: we'll go then Liam: smooth it over after if we have to Edie: I don't know how to care about making them happy, never mind doing it Liam: all you need to do is say what they wanna hear Edie: wait 'til they hear about the baby Liam: we just won't tell them until your 🤰 makes us Edie: but 'til then Edie: literally who knows what they want Liam: we know what your sister wants, she told me Liam: we'll base it off that, be good Edie: 🙄 Edie: she's a fine one to talk Liam: don't you wanna behave with me & for me? Edie: for you, not them Liam: I'm only asking you to do it for me Liam: so they won't be getting in our way Edie: what do you want me to do now then? Edie: tell me Liam: explain why we did it but pretend you're sorry that it got out of hand Edie: alright Edie: I'll hate every second of it but I'll do it Liam: I'll make it up to you Edie: tell me how Liam: 💍 Liam: I'll get you one Edie: you already got me a pram Liam: that was for the 👶 too, I wanna give you something that's just yours Edie: oh Edie: will I have to hide it too though Liam: as long as you don't bury it Edie: we could pretend it's not THE 💍 Edie: put it on a different finger Liam: you've still got great ideas after earlier Liam: you really are a genius Edie: Hardly Edie: I'm just trying very hard to be very good for you Liam: you don't even have to try Edie: I do when it means having to hide how I feel about you Liam: nobody can say shit about me promising to marry you one day Edie: they say all kinds of shit Liam: you don't have to hide that we're in love whatever they say Edie: I never will Edie: they know I am, that they can't change that Liam: if you don't wanna be good we can leave tonight Edie: you're right that it'll make shit easier Edie: I can ignore them Liam: I don't care about shit being easier if you're not happy Edie: I am happy Edie: they might not be happy with the way it's come about but they can't harp on it too hard without making me miserable Liam: I couldn't have done everything today without you Edie: I'm glad I could do that for you Edie: that's how it should be Edie: is going to Edie: I've got your back, you've got mine Liam: yeah, like a family Liam: me & you are, however long this baby takes to show up Edie: there's nothing you could ask that was too much of me, seriously Liam: not a test this time Edie: can handle it either way Liam: I know 👀 Liam: but I can't handle missing you more than I do, if you wanna like be a huge bitch to me or something like Edie: I could try if you wanna be less loveable for a sec too Liam: one sec I'll have to try & stop thinking about how alive you were tonight first Liam: & find a less gay way to say it than that while I'm working on it Edie: you say gay, I say workable lyric or tat inspo Liam: when you've filtered it through your 🧠 it'll be right Liam: all I know is beautiful wouldn't be good enough Liam: 🎇🎆 Liam: either Liam: I think the closest would be when you get a puddle of petrol, all those colours, that kinda bullshit Edie: I wish I could tattoo that onto me Edie: a bruise would be closest to that Edie: but I wish I could see me how you see me more Liam: I'll start filming, see what I can do Edie: you have a year 'til my birthday too Liam: lots of chances to get footage then Edie: be good for the baby too, when it grows up Edie: see we loved them before they even got here Liam: we'll record as much as we can Liam: starting at the beach tomorrow Edie: we'll make a sandcastle dreamhouse Edie: and find the perfect shell to start a collection for them Liam: I don't think I've ever made one Edie: 1/8 ratio water to sand is a good start Edie: then it depends if you want the castle buckets, or a plain one so you can sculpt it yourself Edie: add seaweed, shells and pebbles, et voila Liam: I'm gonna look for enough shells to make a mobile too Edie: 🌌🧠💡 Liam: maybe we can make it sound on top of looking nice Edie: if we find some driftwood too, that would be 🔝 Liam: we'll go back if we don't Liam: until we do Edie: if we like it we can move there Liam: what kind of 🏠 do you want? Edie: one that's the perfect size for just us three Edie: and always feels cosy and like a home and is the place you actually always wanna come back to because it's that comforting Liam: 🗺❌ Liam: I'll take you hunting Edie: maybe we'll find another to takeover when we're down there Liam: lots of them are holiday homes now summer's over they'll be empty Edie: and not everyone invests in good security, even though they're rich enough to Liam: pick the one you like best, I'll get us in Liam: most people don't bother changing their alarm codes from the default Edie: right Edie: they kinda deserve it Liam: if you're not gonna treat your shit like you want it, someone else will take it Liam: why not us Edie: 9️⃣9️⃣9️⃣ Liam: how long can we stay this time without your ma calling that number herself? Edie: when we're on our way, I could tell her we've gone Edie: rude of her to stifle our creativity 📹🎞📼 Edie: but if we give her something, she might freak less Liam: you got any 🎁 in mind? Edie: you mean getting her a stick of rock or? Liam: whatever works Liam: you know I'll do it Edie: It's not even you, they admit they don't know you Edie: maybe we give them the chance, when we do come back? Liam: 🎲 Liam: alright Edie: it might be totally unbearable Edie: I make no promises to the contrary Liam: you don't have to, you'll be there Liam: unbearable is when you're not Liam: like now Edie: I know Edie: it hurts my heart not being with you right now Liam: if my ma decides to stop, I'll call you Edie: do Edie: I'll get out of here as soon as I'm physically able Liam: me too Liam: even if it means I'm waiting outside for you 👀 Liam: 🛰🌏 Edie: You can wait outside my window any time Liam: 📹🎞📼 Liam: 🤫 Edie: 😳 Edie: everything you do is hot Liam: I'm thinking about you whenever I do anything, maybe that's why Edie: I won't dispute that Edie: even though you definitely deserve more credit Liam: you can give it to me when the credits roll on your film & you realise what you look like to me Liam: & that everything I do is to turn you on or make you smile, laugh, all that happy shit Edie: I don't know what I ever did to deserve you Edie: but I'll be a better person from now if it means I get to keep you forever Liam: nah, don't change a single thing Edie: 🤏 😈 🤏 😇 Edie: got it Liam: we won't show every 🎬🎞 to the 👶 Liam: or every 🎤🎧 either come to think of it Edie: got to have things to protect them from Edie: may as well be us, not actually a threat Liam: [sending her all the cute baby videos such as when they eat a 🍋 etc like this will be us because we can't be dealing with our mother popping off anymore] Edie: [sending her stuff of the twins 'cos that big sister evidently lol] Edie: him* soz babe Liam: [Grace would die if she knew] Edie: [when you are 10 and MORTIFIED honey] Liam: [when his ma is having a breakdown and he's just spamming the bae with random adorable baby content from the internet casually] Edie: [so sorry to your ma but also not sorry we did] Liam: [he can't handle all your emotions gal I'm soz, we're living our best fantasy life here instead] Liam: [I vote this happens until he can actually call her and thus end the convo cos we know they highkey enough to do that]

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the-mykie-show · 5 years

Text

After your night with Negan you have to make an important decision, meanwhile your ex struggles to accept that your relationship is over and after he takes things too far Negan comes up with a plan to teach him a lesson once and for all.

*rating* explicit

*warnings* rough sex, multiple sex positions, semi public fingering, blow jobs, unprotected sex, dirty talk, kind of stalking.

In your dazed, half asleep state you almost mistake Negan's arm still wrapped around your waist for your ex's, before memories of last night flood back into your consciousness. You let out a contented sigh, remembering how Negan touched you, the way his tongue felt between your legs, how his cock filled you.

“You awake, darlin’?” he asks, his fingers brush your hair off your neck for him to press a soft kiss under your ear.

“Yeah.” you whisper, rolling over on the plush pillows to face him.

You're both still naked, and you feel the unmistakable ache that only really good sex could leave between your legs.

“You sleep alright?” he asks.

“Like a rock.” you replied.

“Yeah, couple of good orgasms will do that for you” his signature cocky smirk lights up his face.

You smack his shoulder playfully.

“You want to shower before you go?” he asks.

“That would actually be great. You joining?”

“Nah I got some shit to take care of.” Negan shows you to his personal bathroom, it's just as lavish as his bedroom, a large tub sits in one corner, a glass shower stall in the other, with plush black rugs,and matching fluffy towels. You could almost forget the apocalypse even happened in here.

He gives you some shampoo and soap, and leaves you to it.

You notice in the floor length mirror that you have several hickeys on your neck and inner thighs, and a bruise shaped like Negan's fingers on your hip. You don't mind them though.

Once you've showered and wrapped yourself in a towel you leave the bathroom to go find your clothes wherever they were scattered last night. You expect Negan to be long gone, off attending to whatever the Sanctuary needed today, but instead he's waiting for you by the bed. He's already gathered your clothes and put them into a neat pile on end of the bed, next to them however is nice set of lingerie accompanied by a short black dress.

“What's this?” you ask looking between Negan and the dress.

“It's a proposal of sorts. If you want to say no you can, no questions asked, but I was hoping you would be my wife.” you're stunned by him yet again, you thought last night was a one time hookup, you weren't expecting him to ask you to join the six other girls he called his wives, you'd never given if you're opposed to the idea or not any thought. You'd never had reason to having been what you thought was a happy relationship.

“I don't know. Can I think about it?” you ask sheepishly.

“Yeah, of course. Regardless of what you decide, I'd fucking love to have a repeat of last night.” he says, pulling to him and planting a kiss on your lips. It starts to heat up right as someone knocks urgently on his door.

“What the fuck do you want?” he breaks the kiss to shout at the person on the other side of the door.

“We have a problem, sir.” Negan rolls his eyes.

“If you'll excuse me I have some clusterfuck to fix.” he leaves you to make your choice on your own. In the end you decide to keep the back dress but wear your own clothes for now.

You make your way down to the cafeteria for breakfast, loading your plate with your favorites, shooting the grumpy lady in a hairnet who always serves your morning meal a friendly smile which quickly fades once you remember that you no longer have a boyfriend to eat breakfast with.

Your steamy fling with Negan was enough to make you forget all about your lying scumbag of an ex for one night, but now in the cold light of day you're forced to confront the fact that you're alone now.

The little black dress laying upstairs in your room begins to look better and better as you find an empty table and settle in for your morning meal alone. You watch Negan's wives as you eat, they've always intimidated you since you arrived at the Sanctuary, but watching them now they seem nice enough. You watch as a pretty redhead throws a rolled up napkin at a tall dark skinned women sitting across from her and all the girls laughed together.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by an unfortunately familiar voice “Y/N! I've been looking all over for you all night. Where were you?” your ex stands in front of you.

“None of your business.” you snap.

“Come on, don't do this babe. I made a mistake, and I'm so sorry. Can you please give me another chance?” he pleads.

“No. You can go fuck yourself.” you take an angry bite of your breakfast not even bothering to look at him.

“Are those hickeys? Are you already fucking someone else?” he's angry now, he grabs your arm yanking you to face him suddenly.

“Who the fuck is he? You little whore getting with another guy the night you break up with me!” his grip on your arm gets bruising tight on your arm.

“I broke up with you because you cheated on me you stupid prick!” you try to jerk your arm away from him but he won't let you go. You start to get a little scared.

“You're hurting me, let me go.” he does, but you're certain it's only because people are starting to stare.

You feel sick to your stomach, you don't even want your breakfast anymore.

You managed to make it through the rest of the day without another run-in with your ex, you do run into Negan a few times but he doesn't ask if you've made a decision yet, just shoots you a knowing smirk and winks at you on his way by.

That night when you go back to your room you notice a small wicker basket by your door, it's filled with fresh wild flowers, a stuffed animal, and a bottle of wine that someone had to have spent a shit ton of their points on. At first it makes you smile, you think it must be from Negan, an attempt to win you over and get to say yes to being his wife no doubt. Then you see the card attached to the basket and realize it's from your ex.

“I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I need you. I love you.”

You stuff the stupid note back into the basket and shove it aside.

You don't care if he spent all his points on this apology basket, you don't care how much he wants you back, it isn't gonna happen.

The next morning there is yet another basket outside your door, this time with chocolates, a heart shaped necklace, and a bottle of whiskey.

After lunch another one arrives. At this point you start to fear that your ex is turning into a stalker, and people on your hall are starting to notice the heap of gifts outside your door, you hope someone will steal them so that you don't have to deal with them, but Negan has rules against such things that he enforces harshly when necessary so no one dares to.

That night when you returned to your room your door is unlocked. You know you locked it, your heart beats violently with fear, but you open the door anyway, your hand wrapping the knife at your hip.

You recognize the figure standing at the end of your bed seconds before you stab him. It's your ex.

“What are you doing in my room you psycho?!” you yell at him, flipping on the light, still branching your knife. You notice that he's spread rose petals around the room, as if a sappy romantic gesture was enough to win you back.

“I came to prepare a romantic evening for us.” he says, turning around slowly “Instead I found this.” he holds up the black dress Negan gave you.

“So you fucked Negan huh? And he asked you to join his little whore house. Can't say I'm surprised, that is his MO. Just like he did to Dwight. You gonna have him burn my face off too?” he laughs bitterly. “Just at least answer me this. Did you sleep with him when we were together?”

“No of course not. I was loyal to you, even though you cheated on me, lied to me, ignored me, treated me like shit. I was loyal. That night was the first time I've slept with anyone that wasn't you in years. In fact it'd been so long I'd forgotten sex is actually supposed to feel good until Negan.” you know you're playing with fire but you just can't help yourself.

“Come on Y/N you can't possibly mean that. We had good sex, you loved me. It's not too late, we can still get it all back.” he's pleading with you again, desperation in his eyes.

“I don't want it back. I don't want you back.” you say matter of factly.

“Please don't say that Y/N! I love you, I need you back.” you shake your head gesturing to the open door.

“I said no, now take your shit and get out of my room.”

“It's our room. Please just let me make it up to you. I could fuck you so much better than him.”

“No you really can't, not that it would matter if you could because we're over, and tonight I'm saying yes to Negan.” you hadn't even completely made up your mind about Negan's proposal until that moment but you know you're making the right decision.

“No! You can't, you belong to me, you're my girl.”

“I don't belong to anyone, I'm a person you shit head! Not a piece of property. But tonight I will be a married woman and you're going to have to accept that.” his eyes burn bright with anger, and for a moment you fear you're going to have to use your knife, lucky for you your neighbor across the hall, a sweet older lady who works in the gardens, comes home at the right moment.

“Are you okay, dear?” she asks, poking her head into your room. Your ex shoots you a dirty look and throws the black dress at you on his way out with a growl of “This isn't over.”.

“I'm fine, thank you.” you assure your neighbor before closing the door and going to work cleaning up the rose petals all over your room.

It takes forever to get them put into a pile on the floor, and before you can finish you hear a knock on the door. You freeze, you fear its your ex back to harass you more, but then Negan's voice speaks from the other side of the door.

“You in there babygirl?” you open the door, he sees you're wearing the little black dress and grins from ear to ear.

“You're saying yes?” he asks.

“Yes.” you returned his grin and he yanks you into a tight hug and presses his lips against yours in deep kiss. When you both come up for air he sees the mess of petals and gifts spread around your room.

“What's all this shit?” he gestures to the room with a leather clad hand.

“What do you think?” you sigh “my ex wants me back. He's trying very hard.”

“Of fucking course he does, you're a goddamn catch.” he smirks, playfully slapping you on the ass.

“Yeah, well he should have thought about how much he loved me before he did what he did.” you shake your head with disappointment.

“Yeah, he sure as shit should have. Do you want me to talk to him?” Negan offers, picking up the bottle of wine the idiot had left and examining it.

“I think that might make it worse, he thinks I belong to him.” Negan places the bottle down with the rest of the unwanted gifts and pulls you to him, his gloved hand sweeping your hair back to press his lips against your ear.

“Well then, maybe we just need to show that little prick who you really belong to.” he nips your ear lobe and your knees go weak.

Negan explains the rest of his plan, all while letting his hands wander all over your body, gently kneading your breasts, and eventually working your dress up over your ass, feeling you up and admiring the way your ass looks in the lingerie he gave you all the while.

You're unsure about his plan, you worry it will make the situation worse, not to mention it's a little intrusive and awkward, but in the end you decide to trust Negan.

You wait in Negan's office with him while he sends a Savior to find your ex, “you look nervous. Don't be,” he reassures you “it's not like this is anything either of us hasn't seen before.”

“I know, it's just I feel weird about this.” you admit.

“You don't have to do this if you don't want to, we can call it off.” you knew Negan would let you stop this whole thing on a moment's notice with no questions asked, that was a big part of why you trusted him with this. If anyone else had suggested this idea to you, you would have laughed in their face and told them to go fuck themselves. But this was Negan.

“No, let's do it.” you say.

Negan lifts you onto his desk, standing between your legs, he pulls you into a kiss that starts soft but soon turns rough, his tongue slipping into your mouth, the ache between your legs already stirring up again.

His lips move to your neck, “You sure you're good with this? You feel a little tense.”he says against your skin.

“Yeah, I'm just nervous, what he reacts violently?” he keeps kissing your neck, softly sucking in the sensitive spots, and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk.

“Do you realize who you're talking to?” he asks “He wouldn't dare. Now spread your legs for me, baby.” you do as he asks, opening your legs to reveal your bare sex, this plan requiring you to take off the lace panties.

He presses two fingers to your lips, “Get em nice and wet,”

you take them in your mouth and suck on them softly, wetting them so they'll slide inside you easier.

“Damn I can't wait to feel that mouth around my cock.” he groans pulling his fingers from between your lips and sliding them between your thighs, you feel them press against your already wet entrance.

“You ready?” he asks, and you nod. His fingers fill you all at once in one smooth flick of his wrist, your thighs clamping around his hand.

He easily finds your sweet spot and slowly drags the pads of his fingers against it, your body clenching around him. Footsteps approach outside the door and his fingers still inside you, giving you the chance to change your mind. But you shake your head.

“Good girl, let me feel that tight little pussy come.” you can't hold in the moan when the heel of his hand rubs against your clit at the same time his fingers rub something deep inside you.

The Savior Negan had sent to get your ex knocked on his office door, you fidget nervously as Negan orders them to come in, his fingers still buried deep inside you.

You feel your ex’s shocked stare as realizes what Negan is doing to you. Negan holds up his unoccupied hand, signaling him to wait.

“C'mon baby, I know you like it when I fuck you real slow, but I got business to attend to.” his fingers feel so good inside you it isn't even awkward, you hands involuntarily grip his shoulders, moans falling from your lips as he makes you come. Your core tightening around him as you come, a warm wet rush coating his fingers in the evidence of just how good he made you feel.

You lean back on your elbows on his desk, feeling drunk on pleasure despite your ex standing there dumbfounded by what he'd just witnessed.

Negan turns to face him, licking the arousal and come from his fingers.

“Sorry about that, man.” he says with a smirk “gotta keep my girl satisfied, not that you'd probably know anything about pleasuring a woman” he laughed.

“What the hell is this?” your ex says. “I thought you wanted to talk to me?” he's pushing his luck with Negan.

“I sure as shit do. You got any ideas why that might be?”

“Not really, but is guess it has something to do with her?” he looks at you with disdain in his eyes, maybe even disgust.

“Well looks like you're not as big of a dumbass as I thought, because you are right. My wife here tells me you won't accept that she's over your ass and leave her alone.” his eyes dance between you and Negan, looking rather afraid now. He knows he should be nervous, even if you weren't Negan's newest wife he wouldn't take kindly to a man harassing, borderline stalking a women. He probably thinks Negan has a much more severe punishment in mind, like the iron or the cells, or maybe even the fence.

“It's not like that…” he stammers “it's just… I.. I wanted to apologize and ask for her back. I wasn't gonna hurt her!”

“The thing is you already did apologize and ask for her back. It became concerning after you grabbed her and screamed at her in the cafeteria, and it became creepy after you you broke into her room. I'm not going to ask you to justify your shit ass choices, but I am going to have to insist that you apologize to the lady and swear on your nutsack this shit won't happen again.” Negan explains.

“I did nothing wrong, in fact that little whore should be thankful someone even wants that used up cunt enough to fight for her at all.” his words feel like a slap in the face, how could he say that about you? You thought he cared about you at least a little even after everything he did to hurt you.

Negan's whole demeanor changes, his eyes becoming dark and cold, almost murderous.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he growls, and before you know what's happening your ex is thrown against the wall and Negan's hands are around his throat.

“You don't fucking talk about my woman like that, you hear me you little fucker?” your ex struggles to breath, trying to push Negan off him. Negan doesn't budge until his face turns blue, finally letting him go and throwing him to the floor.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything Y/N! ”

“And?” Negan growls.

“And it won't happen again, I'll leave you alone.” he looks almost in tears.

“Good, now get your ass out of my sight.” he scrambles to his feet and hurries from Negan's office.

“You okay babygirl?” he asks once the office door slams behind your ex.

“Yeah, I just feel like an idiot.” you stare down at your feet in shame.

“You're not an idiot, baby.” he wraps his arms around you. “and you aren't a whore either. You can't let that shit get to you, he's just an asshole who didn't see what a beautiful, smart amazing woman he had, not to mention hot as fuck and awesome in bed.”

You smile a little at his words. “I'm pretty sure you don't hear this often enough, but you're a good guy, Negan.” you pull him down into a kiss, which he gladly reciprocates. “now why don't we finish what you started?”

“That's my dirty girl,” he smirks. “How about you get down on your knees for me?”

You gladly drop to your knees, reaching up to open his pants and pulling them down his legs with his boxers all at once, his manhood already hard. Staring up at him with the most innocent, doe eyed expression you can muster, you grip him by the hilt, you pop his tip in your mouth, sucking on it and curling your tongue around it, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

“Damn baby!” he groans. You can already taste his precome, so you tongue his slit making his hips involuntarily twitch and slide his cock against the back of your throat. You gag a little, not expecting the sudden thrust.

“Sorry sweetheart, I just couldn't help myself. You don't gotta deep throat me if you don't want to, this feels fucking amazing on its own.” you respond by slowly swallowing him all the way until you feel his tip at the back of your throat, you somehow managed to swallow him almost all the way to his balls, not leaving much of his shaft for you to stroke so instead you cup his balls kneading them while you suck. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth, and he lets out a deep moan.

Slowly pulling off, you suck his tip a little harder this time and then swallow him “Shit baby,” he groans “keep sucking my cock like that and you're gonna be my fuckin’ favorite in no time.” his hand twists in your hair, pulling gently as you bob your head up and down on his shaft. “Oh fuck yeah, just like that.” you feel his balls tense in your hand before he even warns you that he's going to come. You heed his warning by sucking his tip while he comes with a load groan. You swallow as much as you can before letting his half soft member slip from between your lips.

“That's my good girl.” his hand strokes your hair “Now that I've made that pretty little mouth mine, why don't you go bend over my desk and let me take you from behind?”

You stand up, and bend over his desk like he asked, he comes up behind you, his hand pressing your top half down while the other pushes your dress over the curve of your ass exposing you to him.

“You loved coming on my fingers in front of that prick didn't you?” his hand dipped between your legs.

“Yes.” you moan, admitting the truth that you'd gotten off on Negan pleasuring you in front of your ex, showing him how a real man gave a woman pleasure.

His fingers find your core, easily sliding inside you.

“Oh darlin’ you're fucking soaked. Did sucking me off get you this wet?” you nod.

He's already hard again and lining himself up with your entrance, his tip pressing into you.

“Ready babygirl?” he asks.

“Yes.” you moan. Your voice is so full of lust you barely recognize it as your own.

He enters you with one hard but smooth thrust, your body spasming around him as he lets you adjust to his size. At this angle it's even more obvious that he's a lot bigger than you're used to, once you're adjusted to the feeling of being filled so deeply you push your ass against his hips, pressing his cock deeper inside you.

Once he knows you're ready you feel him withdraw slightly and snap his hips forward with enough force to shake the desk, the angle is perfect, each thrust hitting that little spot that made your eyes roll back in your head.

“You like that baby? You like my cock filling you up?” he thrusts roughly again. You'd never liked rough sex before Negan, but now it felt amazing, you figure maybe you'd just never had it done right before Negan.

“Harder.” you found yourself moaning the command after a few more rough thrusts, even Negan seems surprised by it, but he does it anyway. The force of his thrusts rattle the whole desk, knocking a lamp over and sending some books crashing to the floor.

You feel your core tightening with your building orgasm, each thrust increasing the intensity, and making your walls squeeze him.

“Damn you're so fucking tight.” he groaned.

“You gonna come for me… again.” you can practically feel the smirk in his voice, and I want to say something snide back, but then his hand reaches around, his fingers finding you clit. He teases the sensitive bundle of nerves with a maddeningly light touch, the complete opposite of his rough, hard thrusts.

You feel your walls start to flutter and throb around him, your orgasm finally over taking you, he drags your pleasure out with slow but hard and deep thrusts, his fingers still working your over stimulated clit, while your toes curl in your shoes and your hands hang onto the edge of the desk for dear life.

Your core is still spasming with aftershocks of your orgasm when Negan finds his release, his body going rigid behind you as you feel him spill inside you. He keeps thrusting as hard as he can until he's spent himself completely and his cock starts to soften.

In one dizzying movement he pulls out and turns you around to face him.

“Fuck, I am a lucky man! I'm glad you said yes, babygirl.” he kisses you, this time it's soft and lazy. And you've never felt more content than you do in his arms, that somehow still pleasurable freshly fucked ache deep inside you and his come on your thighs.

#negan #twd negan #negan's thirst squad #negan fic #negan fanfiction #negan x reader #twd fanfiction #twd fanfic #twd reader insert #negan reader insert #negan requests #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic

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notbigondoors · 4 years

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How do you generally write your replies to asks or threads or rp stuff? On the Tumblr app or on your computer? I'm thinking about making myself two or three rp tumblr blogs (I'd like one for Stephen King's Carrie, another one for Marvel's Morbius and maybe a third one for Wonder Woman) but I don't have a computer atm and I wonder how comfortable it would be to rp using the phone app only/how good it would look. This is an amazing Vision blog btw!

{out of equations} I actually do a healthy balance of both. At night when I’m relaxing at home and watching TV or whatever, I vastly prefer the computer. I type faster when on the computer and it’s just physically easier. But then when I’m out and about, sitting in a restaurant or a doctor’s office or somewhere where I’m just waiting for a while not doing much, I’ll whip out my phone and work on replies there. As far as the actual writing, aside from it being easier for me to type on a computer vs. a phone, it’s really not better or worse to do either. But as far as the Tumblr site is concerned, there are honestly good and bad aspects to both ways of using it.

The app is really a pain as far as formatting. Now, sure, you can do things like adding colored text a lot easier on the phone and without requiring actual coding, but you can’t use a blog theme or really complex text formatting because it just simplifies everything. There are a lot of bugs on the Tumblr app that make using the phone completely obnoxious to me. For example, if you place a title on your text post on the computer, it will remain at the top no matter how many times the thread is reblogged or the reblogs are deleted from it. But if you so it on the phone, for whatever reason it will downgrade the title to a heading that will then disappear when you inevitably trim the reblogs off the thread. I have no idea if there even is a way to make titles that actually function as titles on the phone, but maybe there is?

Another annoying thing about using the phone (and this is more recent, so maybe it’s an actual bug that’ll be fixed as opposed to just a stupid update) is that when I tell the phone to delete all reblogs from a thread, it will appear to have done that, but the it will leave the first reblog that was there at the top. So this results in the reblog having like... a post you don’t want randomly still up there and then your reblog? Which... makes things really confusing if you’re trying to keep track of the thread’s story? I don’t know how to fix that one either.

Also... when switching from Tumblr app/mobile to the Tumblr site on a computer, I still sometimes am unable to edit or even open my posts because it will say “Oops! This appears to have been edited in the mobile version. Please use the app.” Or something like that. Such a pain.

The other thing is... they appear to have taken away the ability to save an ask answer for later on the Tumblr mobile app? I used to be able to start answering and then just save my response in my drafts if I have to close the app and I’m not done yet. Now there’s no option to do that. I really hate that, it came in handy. You can do it on the computer while holding down Ctrl +Alt while actively in an ask text window and replying to it. If you hold down those keys, the options to either “Safe as Draft” or “Queue” will appear at the bottom right as buttons. So yeah, a definite advantage over mobile.

Also, in the case of “read more” links, those breaks in the post where writers can cut off their super long mega posts with a link to the full version so that people don’t have to scroll through a wall of text on their dash? Yeah, those don’t work on mobile, heh. Well okay, no, they work.... but you don’t have the option of using them on mobile. So if someone has set one up on the computer, it will function in mobile, but people who are mobile only don’t have the option of using “read more” links.

The biggest problem with mobile is that people with complex themes for their blogs or even ones like mine that are Tumblr simple, haha, can have info pages set up as links you can click to go to more information, and those don’t even show up on mobile. Even if people send you the urls, when you click on them they will only go to their main blog and not to the pages. So that means you won’t be able to view any muse or mun info or any rules pages set up that way. That doesn’t mean you can’t ask someone to kindly post or send you the information, but that makes it kinda hard for blogs with passwords or muns that won’t even talk to you until you’ve read their stuff.

However... not everything on the Tumblr app is worse than on the computer. On the computer... there are various forms of gif files that function as gifs on other sites and in graphic editing programs, but will not open on Tumblr. For example, I’ve noticed that gifs saved as text map or .txt files and gifs with urls ending in .gifv instead of .gif will not open on Tumblr. Whether you cut and paste the url or you open it from a file on your computer, they just won’t work. The gif will blip away and an “error loading gif” error message will appear. I’ve gotten around this somewhat but simply editing the file extension back to .gif, but that only works sometimes, and I have not found a way to open gifs saved in text map formats. So this makes it really annoying when trying to add reaction gifs. On the app, though...... I seem to be able to post just about any gif I want. So that is a definite plus.

Also, if you want colored text on the computer, you have to code for it, and honestly, I’ve forgotten how to do any of that, haha. Even if you set it up on your phone and then open the post on a computer, the computer version will wipe out all formatting and coloring that you did. Super annoying.

There are also a lot of bugs on the website that are not present in mobile, such as links not going where they should (how many times have I clicked on my blog’s activity feed only to be sent to my dash, ugh), and random spaces being added in the middle of my text posts that I didn’t place there? o_O

So... I guess I would say that functionally speaking I prefer the computer version, but there is a lot to be said for the portability of the phone and being able to work on stuff whenever you have five minutes. I should also mention that I have the Android version of the Tumblr app, so... I don’t know if maybe the iPhone version is different or better or worse. But I do know people who are 100% on the computer version, 100% on some kind of mobile version, or people like me who switch back and forth, and we all seem to be finding our ways just fine, so I think whatever version you choose, you’ll acclimate to that and adjust your style and habits accordingly.

I hope this was helpful! (^-^)/ (Also thank you so much, I’m glad you like this blog! Vision is such a sweetie, isn’t he? XD)

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susannaprouse · 5 years

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Fifty Nine - San Francisco

We got up slightly later on our second day in San Francisco, had breakfast in our airbnb and caught the bus into town. Here we walked to a bike rental place and picked up our bikes for the day. Considering I'd fallen off the bike immediately in the Galapagos I was gearing myself up for another embarrassing fall. Luckily (and obviously now I think of it) the bikes were much better and weren't way too big for me. We cycled out into the sunshine to the Disney Family Museum.

On the way we spotted a Farmers Market so decided to lock up our bikes and take a look. The market was amazing, stalls full of colourful fruit and vegetables in beautiful displays. I hate to say it but the Americans know how to do a farmers market. We got suckered in and ended up buying absolutely delicious artichoke hummus and pittas. I wanted to buy all the things but we managed to tear ourselves away.

We cycled along the bay, appreciating the brilliant cycle lanes and seemingly patient drivers until we reached the museum. As we were queuing for tickets, annoyed that we hadn't bought them online, a woman approached us asking if it was just the two of us and if we wanted her spare ticket. I didn't really understand why she had it but I tentatively offered her money (quickly saying we didn't have much cash on us) to which she refused. She was so kind and we got chatting, she was a San Franciscan and worked with disabled people and service animals. We discussed how great the city is but also how expensive it is to live there. The conversation made the queue go quickly and before we knew it we were buying the additional ticket (even that was reduced as we used Mike's student card!) and thanking her again.

The museum was brilliant although I was slightly dismayed they didn't mention anything about Walt's anti-Semite tendencies although I guess that kind of ruins the magic. It took us through Walt's life, the history of his and the Studio's animations, the impact of the animators strike and war and finally his creation of Disney World. I know I'm falling into the Disney trap but for me it was great and reminded me that I'm excited to take my children to Disney World too.

After the museum we realised it was much later than we thought it would be and we were hungry. Lucky for us right next to the museum there was a mini festival and so loads of food trucks. We walked up and down perusing our options before deciding on philly cheese steak, something Mike had said I needed to try here. I went for the classic and Mike had chicken, they were both delicious and huge. We were both pleased we hadn't ordered any sides to go with it, getting more used to American sized portions.

Feeling satisfied we got back onto our bikes for the main reason we'd hired them, to cycle across the Golden Gate Bridge. The cycle to the beginning of the bridge was nice, the cycle on the bridge was amazing but also scary. The wind had picked up by this point and there were a lot of other cyclists who were using their weekends well. Even with all of that I didn't fall off, it was a miracle.

At the other end of the bridge there was a huge hill, we sped down it for 10 minutes enjoying the lack of cars and thrill. We had a quick Golden Gate Bridge selfie before cycling on to Salsalito, a small town that is picturesque but also incredibly touristy. We cycled through and found somewhere to park our bikes. I really resented paying the $3 each to park but it seemed we didn't have another option. After going to see the sea we realised we had forgotten to pay. I tried to convince Mike it didn't matter but him being the worrier he is decided to go back to tell the guy. The guy was impressed we had come back saying honesty paid and charged us for just one bike. We definitely could have got away with not paying though...

We wandered down the harbour looking into the touristy and expensive shops ending up in a small cafe for a drink and to secretly snack on our hummus and pittas. Then we walked back deciding which super yachts we'd buy in the marina on the way.

The cycle back was very nice although I did have to get off and walk up the huge hill (I did manage to cycle the beginning and the end though!). There were fewer other cyclists and the wind wasn't quite so windy. We dropped off our bikes and here's where we might have made our last saving of the day. Buckle in it's a long story.

We knew we wanted to hire bikes and Mike had found a place called Basically Free Bikes where you spent $38 on hiring a bike for the day. But you also got that $38 in store credit at a sports shop. I looked at this sports shop and realised they sold camping gear, we just happen to be camping in Yosemite later in the week. So after A LOT of working out we decided to buy some camping crockery and plates as we could get them home easier and our camping kit hire that we'd organised didn't include them.

However, when we went to get the bikes we were only charged $11 because the camping gear we'd hired had come up on their system. They said they'd figure it out and we could sort it when we returned. When we returned the same guy wasn't there so we didn't bring it up. All in all we potentially might have got two bikes for $11 instead of $66 AND free stuff in the sports shop!

By this point in the day we were exhausted, we'd walked for two hours and cycled for three hours. It was definitely time for ice cream. But because we hadn't done quite enough we made a quick detour to Lombard Street, a crazy street made up of a small zig zagging road - you kind of have to Google it to see how weird it is. We clambered up the steps to try and get a good photo but the tall hydrangeas got in the way. We watched car after car of tourists queue up and then wind down this road before we headed for ice cream.

Ghiradellis ice cream was another of the things I was excited to do in San Francisco. Ever since Mum got the brownie mix in Costco I've never been able to forget it. Apparently neither did all the other people in San Francisco as there was a big queue. It went quite quickly and soon we were sat down with two sundaes (salted brownie for me and cookie for Mike but we decided to do halvsies). Half way through we both looked at each other knowingly, we both felt it was too much. These sundaes were huge and our bodies did not want them. We pushed on for a while before wrapping the salvageable brownie, cookie and chocolate to take home. It was so painful for me to leave that ice cream but I also didn't want to be sick. I don't think real adults should be physically sick from eating too much ice cream.

We caught the bus back home feeling better with each minute but were completely exhausted when we got in. We watched a Bob's Burgers before collapsing into bed.

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