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#I fucking love everything they choose to be
0cta9on · 3 days
Note
Sana and Miyeon fucking their boyfriend and they fight over him to make him choose her favorite girlfriend (full story please)
A Stroke of Luck
length: +3k words
Twice Sana x (G)-Idle Miyeon x Male Reader
(Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long!! First threesome piece, so I hope it's alright)
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【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★
Sometimes you wonder just how you got so lucky. Since the day you were born, you were able to glide through life, getting anything you could ever want with a simple wave of your hand or a nod of your head. Perhaps your life of luxury can be attributed to your incredibly wealthy parents spoiling you the second you drew your first breath, or maybe your past life sacrificed themselves to save the universe and the higher power up there is finally giving you your recompense. Regardless, you revel in the fact that you have everything - and everyone - right at the tip of your fingers.
Frankly, you have a vague memory of how you met them - your memory always gets hazy when alcohol is involved. You were never too keen on clubbing, viewing it as a waste of money for a night you’ll never be able to remember, but it was a small price to pay to appease some potential business partners that your parents would eventually bleed dry before tossing to the curb. While trying to keep up appearances, the crowd parted at just the right moment, allowing you to gaze upon these goddesses for the first time, two Mona Lisas that made even the most beautiful supermodel comparable to a two-year-old’s crayon drawing. This is when your memory gets a bit blurry. A quick exchange of sultry alcohol-infused words, a brief yet lingering touch on the arm, and suddenly you had them both face down in some expensive hotel room, pounding away to high heaven. After a night of blissful sex, you would wake up alone with a note on the nightstand and one new message on your phone from an unknown number. Upon reading the note, only then did you realize just how truly lucky you are.
That night was a year ago. In fact, today marks the exact anniversary of that night - your first anniversary with your girlfriends. You have a whole schedule planned for later, which includes an expensive dinner for the three of you, a private fireworks show, and a steamy ending between the sheets as the cherry on top. As bizarre and outlandish as your situation is, you genuinely do love them and want to spoil them with a good time. Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately), one of them isn’t content with waiting around until dinner rolls by.
The sight of the cute Japanese woman crawling towards you in nothing but one of your white button-up shirts is a sight you would gladly get surgically implanted into your retinas. She tries to glare at you menacingly, but her round eyes and her bread-like cheeks only serve to make her look adorable.
“Sana, what are you doing?” You ask, amused.
“I’m a tiger stalking their prey. Rawr~” she teases, stifling a giggle. Any attempts at trying to watch the game on the TV prove futile once Sana starts rubbing your thighs, her hands tantalizingly close to your crotch.
“Miyeon is gonna be pissed if she finds out we’re fucking without her, you know?” You say as you run your hands lovingly through her silky hair.
“If she finds out.” Sana punctuates her statement with a kiss on your bulge. “Just don’t let her find out,” she giggles. Before you can object, her hands are already unzipping your pants and taking out your erect cock. Sana gazes at it affectionately, licking her lips as she strokes you slowly. Compared to Miyeon, she is much more vocal about her desires, begging and pouting until you finally give in to her demands (Not that you would ever say no to that face). Whether it’s a new handbag or your cock inside of her, Sana gets what she wants one way or another.
“You naughty girl,” you tease, caressing her cheek. “You really can’t wait until Miyeon gets home?”
“Mm-mm,” she mutters, shaking her head before taking your entire length into her mouth. The overwhelming sensation of her tongue lapping up your precum causes an involuntary groan to escape your throat. An entire year of this and not once does it ever get old. Life is fucking great, isn’t it?
Sana’s doe eyes scan your reaction as she worships your member, always so attentive, ensuring that you’re enjoying the experience as much as she is. She watches the way you squirm when she sucks on your balls or the way your breath hitches in your throat whenever her teeth gently graze against your skin. To the unknowing eye, Sana can easily be seen as a materialistic brat, but you know better than anyone how much she reciprocates your affection. It’s most evident in how hard she tries to take all of you in at once, struggling to the point of tears as she forces your cock down her throat.
“Fuck, Sana,” you moan. “Save some of that energy for later tonight.”
She struggles to catch her breath after another attempt at deepthroating you. Precum and saliva coat her mouth and chin, dripping down to her chest that’s barely hidden behind your white button-up shirt.
“I just can’t help myself when I’m with you. That beast between your legs is just sooooo enticing.” Sana hops into your lap, pressing her full body weight into you. You feel her panting breath tickle your nose while you stare at the many charming features of her face. How lucky you are to have such a beautiful woman in your life.
“Why are you smiling?” she teases, the sweet sound of her laugh brushing against your ears.
“I love you, Sana,” you state firmly. Her cheeks turn a bright shade of pink right before she hides her embarrassed expression in the crook of your neck, giggling delightfully. You’re so infatuated by her cuteness that you almost forget that she’s naked and sitting on your lap. Almost.
One by one, you unbutton her shirt, slowly revealing that body you love so much. Her full, perky breasts sit above her toned stomach which flows and ebbs into her petite waist. You run your hands along her familiar curves, painting her chest with kisses. Your body aches for her and hers for yours, clawing and gripping and kissing every inch of your beings, trying to absorb one another just to get closer than humanly possible.
Sana cups your face, eyes steeled with lustful determination. “I need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard that Miyeon gets jealous. I want to be the only woman for you, even if it’s just for a little moment.”
Without another word, you stand up, carrying her by her ass and aligning your cock with her moist folds before staring deep into her eyes as you thrust yourself into her, watching her face morph into several shapes of desire as she adjusts to your size. Sana’s arms and legs wrap around your torso, desperately clinging onto you to try and take in every inch of your cock. You’re not sure how long she’s felt like this; you always considered her and Miyeon to be a package deal, never one without the other for too long. You love them both equally and always ensure that you never showed favorites. Maybe you slipped up recently, or maybe the two of them are fighting behind the scenes. Whatever it is, if Sana wants to feel like the only woman in your life, you’ll gladly grant her wish in a heartbeat.
“Sana… baby… I love you so much,” you pant into her ear.
“MMPH, yes! I love you too, baby! F-Fuck! You’re the only one that can satisfy me!” She mashes her lips into yours, forcing your tongues into a messy yet sensual dance. Her moans vibrate in your mouth, drowning out any kind of background noise other than the clapping of your hips against hers. Her sweet pussy takes you in so well, almost as if it was tailor-made just for you. However, your cock belongs to two women. One of those women happens to be unlocking the front door right at this moment.
“Hey guys, I’m bac- Hey!”
Much to Sana’s dismay, you momentarily pause your thrusts to glance at the source of the voice. The second love of your life, Miyeon, is standing right there with a large bouquet of flowers and an irritated pout on her lips.
“Hi princess,” you say to her, hoping to ease the tension. “What do you have there?”
“They’re from work,” she huffs, tossing the flowers onto the sofa before stomping towards you. “What are you doing?!”
You let out a sheepish laugh as you set Sana down to the ground, pulling out of her sweet embrace. Now two pairs of unhappy eyes are looking up at you. “W-well, you see, you know how Sana is-”
“How could you two have sex without me?!” Miyeon exclaims.
“Yah, don’t yell at him!” Sana interjects. “It’s not his fault he prefers my pussy over yours!”
“O-okay, I never said th-” You try to come in between them, but they both push you away with surprising synchronization.
“No, he doesn’t! You probably just threw yourself at him, you slut!”
Sana gasps. “Slut?! You’re just jealous that he likes me more than you!”
The two continue to bicker and argue, and you start to worry that things could get physical. Right as Sana lifts her hand, you step in between the two of them, shielding Miyeon from a potential slap.
“OKAY, let’s all calm down for a second, alright?” You gently grasp Sana’s wrist, putting it down by her side. “What is going on between you two? You guys are best friends, why are you fighting all of a sudden?”
The two fall silent, averting their teary eyes to the floor, standing there like bickering sisters. You never expected this kind of behavior from either of them, especially on the day of your anniversary.
“Look at me,” you command, lifting up both of their chins towards you. “I love the both of you and I don’t want to see you fighting. We’re going to stand here and talk until this all gets resolved, even if it takes all night.”
Seeing the serious look in your eyes, both of their expressions soften. Sana is the first to speak up.
“I see the way you treat Miyeon. Sometimes I feel like you like her more than me, and it makes me feel… jealous.”
Compared to Sana, Miyeon is on the quieter side, rarely demanding things from you or complaining about anything. In the beginning of your relationship, you assumed that she wasn’t into the idea of polygamy and only tagged along because of Sana. It took a while to understand her, but you eventually found out that Miyeon just doesn’t like asking for things and wants you to basically read her mind. Now, you can tell exactly what she’s thinking just from her body language, and Miyeon consequently became more affectionate towards you. Sana must have noticed the differences in the way you treat her and thought you were showing favoritism.
“Okay, yes, I treat Miyeon differently than I treat you, but that doesn’t mean I love her more than you, Sana,” you reassure her. “You girls have different personalities and both of you deserve a man that can love you the way you want to be loved. I’m sorry if it seems like I treat her better, but that’s really not the case, okay? Please don’t fight because I made a mistake.”
Sana and Miyeon look at each other with an apologetic expression before falling into a warm embrace.
“I’m sorry I fucked him without you,” Sana apologizes.
“I’m sorry I called you a slut.”
Sana pulls Miyeon into a deep and loving kiss. It starts out innocently enough, but eventually, the two begin moaning into each other’s mouths while their hands explore their bodies. You can’t help but stroke your cock at the sight of your two ladies making out in front of you. Miyeon notices your erection and whispers giddily into Sana’s ear, prompting a mischievous smile to grow on the Japanese woman’s lips.
“We’re so sorry about fighting, baby,” Sana says in a sultry tone.
“Yeah, we’ve been such naughty girls.” Miyeon looks at you with her siren eyes, drawing you in with a simple glance. “Maybe you should punish us, baby.”
Sana reaches out and grabs your rod, pulling you closer. “Yeah, punish us with your big, fat cock.”
With your heart pounding with excitement, you grab their wrists, pulling them towards the bedroom as the sounds of their giggles trail behind you. You throw them towards the bed, quickly freeing yourself from any clothing as they watch with anticipation. Miyeon bites her lip as she ogles your body, while Sana touches herself just thinking about all the things you’ll do to the both of them.
“Miyeon is a bit overdressed, don’t you think so, Sana?” You ask, smirking. Sana nods in agreement, pulling Miyeon into a heavy kiss while her hand snakes its way into her top. You get to work on Miyeon’s bottom half, kneeling in front of her and tugging at her skirt to reveal the damp spot on her panties. You pull Miyeon’s legs over your shoulder so her thighs sandwich your face and begin planting kisses all over her supple skin. Sana tosses Miyeon’s top and bra to the other side of the room before sucking on Miyeon’s perky tits. Her high-pitched princess moans fill the room, accompanied by the wet kissing sounds of you and Sana pleasuring her body.
“Ah, fuck! Yes, just like that!” Miyeon exclaims. You hungrily pull off her panties before diving into her heat, licking between her folds and flicking your tongue against her clit. Sana sits behind her, holding her spasming body while nibbling her ear.
“I bet you’re sooooo exhausted after work, aren’t you, princess?” Sana whispers into Miyeon’s ear. Miyeon nods amidst her whimpering, biting her lip at her girlfriend, begging for her to take her. Sana obliges, shoving her tongue into her mouth as you shove your tongue into Miyeon’s dripping pussy. It doesn’t take long for Miyeon to reach her first orgasm, squirting her nectar all over your face which you gladly lap up, not wasting a single drop. Her body shivers with pleasure, but you have only just begun.
Sana and Miyeon watch intently as you stand up and align your cock with Miyeon’s glistening heat. With a mischievous smirk, Sana moves aside, letting Miyeon lie on her back. Miyeon’s mouth forms an “O” as you insert your tip inside of her, and Sana seizes the chance by sitting on Miyeon’s face, grinding her hips into the Korean woman’s open mouth. Your bodies form a literal love triangle as Sana pulls your face towards her, catching your lips with hers as you thrust deeply into Miyeon. You imagined this to be the last thing you did on your anniversary night instead of the first thing, but you don’t mind doing things a bit out of order. As long as these two lovely ladies are happy, you’re happy.
“Isn’t Miyeon’s pussy so tight, baby?” Sana asks with a smirk on her face. You nod, becoming increasingly aroused by Sana’s dirty talk, quickening the pace of your thrusts. Miyeon’s muffled moans become significantly louder, causing Sana to cling onto your shoulders for support as she reaches her climax. Sana pulls your head into another kiss, moaning into her mouth as her body trembles from her orgasm. She eventually collapses to the side of the bed, allowing Miyeon to finally breathe. 
The light reflects off of Sana’s nectar on Miyeon’s skin, giving her the appearance of a glimmering angel. You slow down the pace of your thrusts, bringing your face close to Miyeon’s ear.
“Mirror?” You ask simply. She nods excitedly, biting her lip with anticipation.
If there’s one thing you learned about Miyeon since dating her for the past year, it’s that she absolutely adores herself. If she suddenly turned quiet, it was because she was either staring at a mirror or taking selfies. Every time she sent you nudes, it was more so to show you just how beautiful is rather than solely for your benefit (Not that you minded, of course). On the nights the three of you felt particularly frisky and decided to film yourselves, Miyeon would always rewind her parts, going on about how sexy she looks when she’s about to cum or how pretty her own moans sound. You wouldn’t say she’s narcissistic; rather, she’s just confident in her looks, and she had every reason to be. Cho Miyeon is the perfect embodiment of a princess, and you love that about her.
You bend Miyeon over the vanity, making sure she has a good view of herself before you rail her from behind. She peers over her shoulder at you and winks, wiggling her ass playfully.
“What are you waiting for? Aren’t you gonna punish m- AH!”
You grip onto Miyeon’s slim waist and begin to pound her hot cunt with ease. The entire vanity shakes as she clings onto it for dear life, barely able to support herself as her legs become as stable as jelly. Despite the stage of disarray she’s in, Miyeon maintains eye contact with herself in the mirror, evidently turning her on more with how her pussy tightens around your cock.
“Cum for me, princess,” you whisper gruffly into her ear. “You look so pretty when you cum.”
“I do?” she asks, flashing her puppy dog eyes at you through the mirror. You nod, unable to speak a coherent word as the sensation begins to feel too much. Miyeon squeals with pleasure as her juices begin to leak down her legs and onto the floor. You hold her up in case her trembling legs give out on her as she rides out her orgasm.
“Good girl,” you reassure her, planting kisses all over her back. Once she calms down, you help her to the bed and lay her down gently next to Sana.
“That was so fucking hot, princess,” Sana says, giving Miyeon a small peck on the lips. Miyeon giggles, her eyes barely able to stay open. With Sana’s energy back and your cock still hard, she descends on you like a panther, pinning you to the bed.
“Miyeon’s tongue is nice, but I needdddd your fat fucking cock inside of me,” she smirks as she straddles your lap, guiding your tip inside of her pussy. Her eyes roll back inside of her head as she takes you little by little, before completely bottoming out inside of her. After a moment of adjusting, Sana begins to ride your cock, holding onto your chest for support. You squeeze and tug at her bouncing tits, eliciting cute little squeals from her. A still-tired Miyeon decides to join in the fun, pushing Sana down onto your cock with more force and teasing her clit.
“HOLY FUCK!” Sana squeals ecstatically.
“I bet you like being a little slut, huh?” Miyeon teases her. “You like being filled up by our boyfriend’s cock, don’t you?”
“FUCK! Yes, I love it so much!”
“You wanna be filled with his cum, right baby?” Miyeon smirks at you as she whispers into Sana’s ear. With how close you are, you have no choice but to follow along with her impromptu plan. 
“Oh god, yes please fill me with your cum, baby!” Sana exclaims, eyeing you desperately. Miyeon’s hand trails up your chest as she leans in towards you.
“You heard her,” she says, slyly cupping your cheek. “Better give her what she wants.”
Without hesitation, you shoot your load straight into Sana’s womb. Sana’s second orgasm follows shortly after, your fluids mixing together inside of her. Out of an entire year of fucking these two wonderful girls, this is the hardest orgasm you have ever experienced.
Eventually, Sana collapses on top of you, gasping for breath, while Miyeon quickly laps up the fluids dripping from the Japanese woman’s legs. You can’t help but laugh at Sana’s post-orgasm shivering.
“H-holy… shit,” Sana says breathlessly. “That… was fucking amazing.”
Miyeon crawls up, laying her head on Sana’s chest. “Yeah, he’s pretty great, isn’t he?” The two girls giggle at each other, exchanging playful kisses and warm looks. You wrap your arm around the both of them, grateful that they’re not fighting anymore.
“How did I get so lucky to have the two of you in my life?” You ask, gazing at these two beauties lovingly. With a quick glance at the clock, you notice that you still have a couple hours until the dinner reservation. “Why don’t you two hop in the shower and get ready? I have something special planned for tonight.”
“You’re not gonna join us?” Miyeon asks.
“I would love to, princess, but I know for a fact that we’re not gonna make it to dinner if I join you in the shower,” you joke. Sana jolts up, grabbing Miyeon’s wrist.
“I am NOT missing out on dinner,” Sana states, dragging Miyeon into the bathroom with her. Right before they close the door behind them, they turn to you one last time.
“We love you!” They say in unison. 
You lay back on the bed, smiling to yourself as you look up at the ceiling. How did you ever get so lucky?
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 days
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Hm… Have you ever think about Aventurine, Sunday and Dan heng with fem reader that has chubby cheeks?
When you’re eating, they can’t stop looking at your cheeks that keep puff and being squishy. You remind them of small hamster, really cute.
Give your cheek a playful bite, squish your cheeks like a stressball for him, or nuzzle his cheek against your?
I love chubby cheeks… and my hsr husband and waifu;)
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Aventurine would absolutely adore the fuck out of your chubby cheeks, especially when they’re being squished and tugged between his fingers.
It was his favourite pastime that he’d gladly trade everything else for if he ever were to choose to do one thing for the rest of his life.
He’d prod your cheek if you weren’t giving him enough attention for his liking and find himself fascinated at the way they recoiled.
If Aventurine were a cat, you’d be the laser of the laser pointer that he’s trying his hardest to catch because that’s how invested in your cheeks he was.
Now would Aventurine nibble your cheeks? Yes and he would act indifferent about it too as he shrugs his shoulders as a mischievous smile graced his lips. ‘I must’ve mistook your chubby cheeks as a sweet treat, oops.’ He’d say and you knew he wasn’t in any regard remorseful of his actions.
He’d do it again in a heartbeat but he really does love your cheeks and won’t let you or anyone say anything bad about them, ever.
Sunday
Find your chubby cheeks endearing and cute.
He gives your cheeks the most affection, whether it’s kissing them, caressing them with his fingertips or even giving them a playful nibble as he laughs when you squeal.
‘I cannot help it my sweet, your cute plush cheeks were left unguarded to my attack.’ He chuckles as he kisses your cheeks again, loving how they felt under his lips that he couldn’t help but take another nibble.
When he’s stressed, he would sit himself in front of you, hold your face and begins playing with your chubby cheeks with the most focused look on his face. It would’ve been cute if he wasn’t playing with your cheeks as though they were mouldable as clay.
You: hard day sweetie?
Sunday, pinching and prodding your cheeks: what gave that away my beloved.
You: just a guess.
Your cheeks would be aching for days afterwards but at least Sunday makes up for it by massaging them and smothering them in affection.
Dan Heng has found himself developing cuteness aggression because of your cute fucking cheeks! How dare you!
He tries to act nonchalant when staring at you when eating, his eyes focusing in on how your cheeks would puff up, much like a chipmunks would when stuffing their cheeks with food for the winter. However he must’ve not been subtle enough for the lenses of march’s camera with the amount of pictures taken that day.
He just wanted to squish your cheeks really, really badly and maybe even chomp on them a little, a thought brought about thanks to his dragon noodle side, but he restrained himself from doing so out of respect for you and your boundaries.
However don’t be surprised when he goes and nuzzles his cheek against your own in his sleep and purring a little also. He may even lightly bite your cheek in the process while you were unaware, so when you bring up the teeth marks on your cheek, Dan Heng felt his face flush with heat as he looks away from you and scratched his nose.
You knew it was him but found his expressions of getting caught too adorable to scold him for the fact that you now had to spend the day with people asking if you been bitten by a cat or something in your sleep.
‘Yeah…sure.’ You’d trail off as you side glance Dan Heng, who kept his back to you, knowing damn well you were staring at him as his movements came off as more stiff than normal.
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keyotosprompts · 2 days
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not easy to please ⋆⭒˚。⋆
alternatives to popular tropes
⇴ siblings's worst enemy
they're your sibling's enemy, so of course they're yours too. they're despicable and you seriously want them dead. luckily for you, the feeling's mutual.
⇴ struggling ceo and their know-it-all office worker
how did this mf become the ceo of one of the most progressive countries in the world?? they're clueless and you're the one that has to fix all their mistakes. you seriously don't get paid enough for this (unless they can come up with another way to pay you).
⇴ marriage of inconvenience
what happens in vegas stays in vegas. except when you've signed an official marriage contract, and everything is so much more complicated before. now this person is stuck with you until you can divorce! (or will you?)
⇴ forbidden hate
your parents absolutely adore the idea of the two of you together. they have wedding pinterest boards, future plans, and baby names for the two of you. only one thing: you two kinda hate each other, and hell would have to freeze over before you'd ever get with them.
⇴ no more second chances
sorry dude! f'ed up really bad the first time, and now you're not giving anymore chances, and your ex has to deal with the consequences. one problem: they can't deal with the consequences bc they're literally in love with you. hm. just what will this person do to get you back?
⇴ not so secret identity
everyone knows who they are. not even the old mask and hat trick could prevent people from identifying them. and it's fine–they absolutely bask in the fame. one problem though: they're a constant target to the entire world. perfect!
⇴ separated from each other
they never get any alone time. alone together in an elevator? too bad, a party of ten just showed up, pushing the two of you on the opposite side of the elevator. finally alone at home? nope! unfortunately, your friends make a surprise visit! oh how will you two ever get past this?
⇴ "you deserved it."
a normal person would've asked "who did this to you?" except your bond is not normal. not in the slightest. i mean seriously, what does this person want from you?
⇴ "i can't have you, so i'll let someone else take my place."
they know that they're not good enough for you, and that you deserve someone better than them. so, they choose to let you go, and hope that someone else can make your world light up like they used to
⇴ the one that is still here
everywhere you go, this person is there. whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, everything ties back to them. everything reminds you of them. you couldn't even escape if you tried.
⇴ playboy but he's actually a nerd that cannot get play
he's gorgeous–he's the most attractive man you think you've ever seen in your life. you think he's probably got it all–girls or boys coming up to him nonstop. only, that's not true in the slightest. somehow, he's managed to fumble every single time.
⇴ nobody wants the bad boy
he's troubled. there are rumors of him starting fights 24/7, and he lives in a bad area. he could really fuck someone up. nobody wants him.
⇴ "you must be delusional"
lovers that know that they're in love with each other, but when admitting it to their friends, they shut down their feelings.
⇴ loving someone to save them
none of that breaking up nonsense. love is power. their love and support causes you to be stronger than ever. knowing that there's love out there gives you a reason to keep on going. love saves you.
⇴ too smart to live
you've outdone yourself this time. bypassed every guard, rule, and law without anyone catching you. so, of course, there's only one solution here: to eliminate you.
⇴ different worlds (revised)
you grew up poor while they grew up rich. now, in the present, you are the more successful one, while they are struggling to get their life together. now, you must help the one who used to be in your current position, and fix things together.
⇴ one-sided blind date
rule one of having a blind date: you should not know who you're meeting. well, too late! you sneaked a peek at your friend's phone and found out who you'll be seeing soon. now, you're scrambling to get out of this date because you know exactly who it is.
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dee-morris · 3 days
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Some Random Thoughts on the Nature of Free Will
Thinking about that conversation from the book that got put into The Resurrectionists. Aziraphale is explaining how he and Crowley are good and wicked, respectively, but they have no choice while Elspeth does. Bc humans can't be truly good unless they have the choice to be wicked.
(This is where I usually end up arguing with someone on Twitter lol bc they think Aziraphale is being Mean to Crowley by calling him wicked. It's just a brand name darling, not a judgment call. He literally said in the same breath that he's not TRULY wicked bc he wasn't given a choice.)
So I'm sitting here thinking about free will and the choices the celestials are given, which are not many. And I wonder if one of the reasons they were drawn to the Arrangement was to give them each the choices that humans were born with. One can't be truly good without the opportunity to do wrong, so perhaps being able to work both sides of the equation helped them develop into truly moral beings and not just extensions of their offices. We see in Uz how they're able to work together and bounce off each other to save Job's family, even though the Arrangement didn't properly exist yet.
I've also seen lots of takes and metas that indicate that people view Heaven and Hell as a class system: Heaven is the upper-class privileged majority, while Hell is oppressed, kicked out, downtrodden. I think people forget that the primary difference between the two is aesthetic. Hell has all the same powers as Heaven, and they both intend to burn humanity to the ground in order to prove their gang is best.
No, if we're going to talk about who's got privilege, it's definitely humanity over heaven or hell. We have free will and imagination, which are more miraculous than anything. Sure they've got all these powers and can work miracles and so on, but where's that gotten them? We can actually change things. All they can do is try and influence us to change things, and their success rate isn't high. Two of the most powerful beings in the universe couldn't convince an eleven year old boy to blow things up. That's. Pathetic, actually.
Which brings me back around to the ineffables. Because they actually DO have free will, but I don't think they're used to realizing that they do, which might be why they act a little bone headed sometimes. The show implies and the book comes right out and says that they picked it up from being around humans. And like I said earlier, I think the Arrangement played a big part. They were actually able to choose to do good or evil, a luxury that normally only humans can enjoy.
And the best part of this, for me anyway, is knowing that everything that they are to each other is a conscious choice. Aziraphale didn't want to be a fighter, so he gave his sword away and made the conscious choice to be soft and silly and get into scrapes. And Crowley chooses to come to his rescue because he likes it, not because he is obligated. It's a way for him to choose to do good without getting in trouble. They are each other's outlet to explore humanity in a way that would be impossible if they were on their own.
Aziraphale speaks French badly and flutters his eyelashes and plans elaborate Balls because he loves doing human things and he wants to do them with Crowley. Crowley drives a sleek classic sex machine with bullet hole stickers on the windows and goes on capers and performs daring moves because he loves doing things the human way and he wants to do them with Aziraphale. The way they interact and work together because they WANT to, and not because it's their Great Bloody Destiny or whatever, is so fucking beautiful to me.
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ta3baee · 1 day
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Jungkook with a chubby girlfriend Pt.2 !
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Pairing : Idol!Jungkook x Chubby!Fem!Reader
Warnings : Nsfw headcanons after the sfw, I will include a cut and another warning though.
Mona’s notes : Edited & proofread by my wife. Minors dni! I’m not responsible for what you consume on the internet. Part one here! Reblogs are very much appreciated <3
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SFW !
• He’s the type to take your insta pictures for you and hype the fuck out of you, I’m talking “Yes mama!”+ “mhmmm look at those hips”+ “those curves my god” + “that’s my sexy lady” and so much more.
• Literally lives for your stomach pudge and your fupa?? Yup, he’s crazy for it.
• He knows you so fucking well that it’d take him just one single look to know how you’re feeling. If he catches you double checking yourself in the mirror with your hand slyly pulling down your shirt to cover yourself, he’d be up on his feet immediately and listing all the beautiful things about you, aka everything.
• We all know he’s basically a gym rat, and what’s a better trope than gym rat bf x chubby gf?? Absolutely nothing. He’d look so big and buff beside you it’d make you feel tiny and protected.
• When you’re out with him and get some looks from both men and women, he’d just stare at them and make them uncomfortable with a hand wrapped around your waist, holding your tummy (that’s how big his hands are).
• He adores it when he sees you cooking in the kitchen wearing a tank top, shorts, and no bra. You’d be minding your own business, and he’d just come up behind you and grab a boob or both and fiddle with it, other times he’d grab your tummy and squish it while whispering good morning and sweet nothings in your ear.
• During his late night lives, he’d go on and on about you, talking about a very simple feature of you in such beautiful detail; it could be a dimple or a specific stretch mark, he’s smitten.
• Imagine him sleepily blabbing about you;
• “my girlfriend is the best”
• “I’m gonna marry her and make her my queen- she’s already my queen, but an upgrade-not that she needs an upgrade”
• lmao, you get it.
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Nsfw below, do not proceed if it’s not to your liking
or if you’re a minor !
NSFW !
• A lil nsfw version of him taking your pics; “You’re making me so hard” + “What if I were to just bend you over right now?”.
• When your looking at yourself in the mirror, he’d come up behind you, hold your tum tum, and whisper dirty shit into ur ear all while he makes you hold eye contact with him.
• When he takes consensual pictures/videos of you riding him, his hand would either be holding your hip or grabbing a handful of your ass.
• Considering the proven fact that Namjoon loves thick girlies, Jungkook would - with your consent send him some of the videos of you riding him and throwing it back at him just to see Joon literally fall apart. He can look, but he can’t touch.
• On that note, when Jungkook has you over, he’d make sure to tap that ass extra hard so you’d be louder, and his bandmates would be forced to listen to you and suffer with their own boners…If only Jungkook would let them hit it…If only.
• This man is filthy rich, so prepare yourself to be spoiled to the max. New sets of lingerie every fucking day, if he can’t choose between two, he’ll buy you both… and an extra one.
• That hot portrait on his wall? That’s you and him; he’s shameless when it comes to you and doesn’t even bother hiding it when he’s on live. He’d simply do anything to show you off, even if it means getting in trouble with management.
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qrrieterisunnq · 2 days
Note
🎞️, with Trevor Zegras !! Could the song please be radio?
I loved writing this so much! I'm sorry I cut out the actual smut, but I hope you like it!🤍
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“Please welcome on a stage Mr. and Mrs. Zegras, for their first dance as newlywed. The song they choose is called ‘Radio’ and is written by y/n Zegras.” The moderator on your wedding announces with a big smile on his face, as everyone starts clapping for you two. You look over at Trevor who is already standing in front of you, his hand extended towards you.
You place your hand in his, letting him lead you towards the dance floor. One of his hands sneaks around your waist and the other slides in your hand to keep you close to him and start dancing as soon as the music starts playing.
Trevor’s eyes softened when he heard your voice, as he swung you in the rhythm of your song.
I don't even think about it now because
I finally found you
Oh, sing it to me
Now my life is sweet like a cinnamon
Trevor's hand on your hip grips you harder, as he moves you closer to him, so you can feel his hardening cock against your belly. “Sweet like cinnamon, huh?” he whispers in your ear, placing a tender kiss on your neck. “You’re playing with fire, my love.”
“I know, but you haven’t heard everything, yet.” You whisper, your voice is low and full of something Trevor can’t define.
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby, love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
Pick me up and take me like a vitamin
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom, oh yeah
“You know what you’re doing!” he sighs in your ear, his lips gazing over your earlobe. “As soon, as we’re done with the dance, I’m taking you upstairs to our room, so I can fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to close your legs for another two days.” He whispers, both of his hands now on your hips, as he presses you more onto himself, so you can feel his hard cock rubbing against you.
“I like the idea.” You giggle kissing his lips tenderly. With a sigh, you wrap your hands around his neck, lying your head on his chest.
“Ehrm, me too.” His lips linger on your forehead as he speaks, a small smile playing on your lips.
No one even knows what life was like
Now I'm in LA and it's paradise
I finally found you
You look up at him, a smile on your lips. His eyes are glistening with tears as he’s looking down at you. “I love you, y/n, so fucking much.” He whispers resting his forehead on yours.
“I love you too, husband.” You whisper smirk growing on your lips when you hear his breath hitch.
“Don’t tempt me, wife. You know what I'm capable of.” He growls his hands gripping your ass harshly.
“Yeah, I know, that’s why I’m doing this.” You grin, sliding your hand down his chest until it’s hovering over his clothed cock. You palm his clothed cock, causing a small moan to leave his lips. He dips his head in your neck, biting your neck lightly.
For the rest of the song, you keep dancing to the rhythm of your song, Trevor’s head in the crock of your neck, as you feel his warm tears dropping down on your skin.
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom, oh yeah
Baby, love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
As the song ends, an applause rings out through the reception. “The song was beautiful. Really, every word, every tone. I fucking love it.” He whispers, kissing your lips, making your knees buckle.
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sydnikov · 8 hours
Text
Fleeting || A. Svechnikov
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Author: Sydney / @sydnikov
Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov / fem!Reader
Word Count: 17.5k
Summary: Every moment with Andrei is fleeting.
Warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f and m receiving), cheating(?), toxic relationship, alcoholic consumption, angst, cursing, no happy ending, Andrei-is-a-dick™
A/N: For those of you who have already been following me, you might remember this post—that’s what this is based on :) This is also the longest fic I’ve ever written so that’s insane, but sorry not sorry. Get ready, this one’s gonna hurt 🤭
*Minors, you are responsible for your own media consumption. That being said, I will not block you for interacting with this fic or my blog, but always be aware of the content you choose to consume and the consequences it can have.
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Andrei doesn’t love you.
It becomes clear for you months after you start fucking him on the side. His likeness for you is merely an obsession, something to have all to himself.
You’re his, or were his, and that’s how he saw you. Nothing more than that, or at least that’s the conclusion you’ve come to after months apart lets you reflect on your relationship with him.
Spending a lot of time in your head, you think. About him, his actions, why he couldn’t love you the way you love him.
He always held you close to him, one muscular arm curled around your waist while the other likely held a drink in his hand. He paraded you around like a prize, happy to show off the hot piece of meat he likely thought of you as at his side.
It was hard to reach him, literally and metaphorically. You had to stand up on your toes to reach his ear, and the power imbalance just by your height difference alone only made the whole thing hotter, merely one aspect of your relationship you never really could get over.
Every time you spoke it had him grinning in a way that made you think he knew something you didn’t. You’re already so shy, too, and it’s what made up your whole demeanor, what drew him to you in the first place.
He likes sweetness. Innocence, quiet—that way you couldn’t rebel. And he loved it when you doted on him. You did your best to be everything he wanted in a girl, too. Bold makeup, skimpy clothing, speaking only to him and him alone. Best of all, you didn’t question him. His actions, his decisions, why he’d sometimes go days without speaking to you but once he called you again, you would come running without hesitation.
It took you too long to realize that he only liked you because you were someone he could fall back on when the freedom of his escapades got too boring and he needed stability. The thing is that Andrei loved you being his, but he didn’t want to ever be yours.
And you know this now, you do. The moment you went no contact and left his apartment in tears, you were calling your best friend for support and to reinforce the fact that he is the asshole, not you.
Sometimes, though, you dream. Of his hands on you, his mouth on your neck, his thick cock pounding into you from behind. The toxicity of it all that, despite everything, felt so good because your emotions were always on overdrive when with him.
Mostly, you liked feeling desired. Nobody had ever pursued you the way he did, even if your body is all he really wanted from you to begin with.
It’s been months since you confessed your feelings for him and he told you to leave; months of you wallowing, going to work, meeting with friends for drinks as a shell of yourself because without Andrei, life suddenly seemed colorless.
You miss him. The excitement, the tension, the way he made you feel. And you pride yourself on being confident, but all self respect flies out the window the moment his name is brought up. It’s wrong, too, you swear you know this, and you imagine countless times telling him off, if you ever run into him again.
For treating you like a body to warm his dick, a soulless individual with no feeling… You’re reminded of the last conversation you had with him yet again, the one that ended everything. You’d been seeing each other for months when it occurred. Months full of Andrei and the rollercoaster of emotions he had you on.
To get to the end, though, you have to go back to the beginning.
It’s January of twenty twenty-three, and you’re freshly twenty-one and experiencing the world in a way you never could before. Riding the high of getting your first serious job in college, it took no convincing at all for you to let your best friend, Maria, convince you to go out on a Friday night to celebrate your blossoming lives.
“Who are we meeting there, again?” You ask, painting your lips a bright red in front of Maria’s full-body mirror. You’ve already started pregaming, and your head is starting to buzz in just the way you like it.
Your blonde friend is quickly curling her hair, despite the fact that she’s had hours to get ready and still procrastinated until you arrived at her apartment. “Some friends from work. You probably won’t know them,” She says offhandedly, finishing her hair in record timing before snatching up the two dresses she had previously laid out on her bed. “Should I wear this in black or red?”
Raising a brow, you question her wording. “Considering I don’t work with you, I doubt I would.” Laughing, you turn your head away from the mirror to examine the two dresses she’s holding up to her body. “Do the red one, it makes your eyes pop.”
Anything would look good on Maria, though. She has this timeless sort of beauty, a blonde, blue-eyed bombshell that has eyes turning her way wherever she goes. You’d be jealous if you didn’t mind her taking all the attention off of you, considering you’re nowhere near as bold as her.
It will especially come in handy tonight, too, since these co-workers of hers are ones you’ve never met before and you don’t exactly plan on getting too close to them.
“This is why I get ready with you,” Maria sighs happily, unceremoniously throwing the black dress back onto her bed. “Oh! I almost forgot, I have heels for you!” She’s then running back into her closet, ruffling through a box before emerging with a pair of bright red stilettos.
“What’s with the red theme tonight?” You giggle as she tosses the heels to you. They look expensive, a brand you don’t recognize written in cursive on the inside of the leather soles. Maria insisted you incorporate red into your outfit tonight, whether it be subtle or bold.
She eyes you from her position on the bed, somehow managing to zip up her dress one-handed. “You don’t watch sports by any chance, do you?”
Throwing back the last of a vodka shot, you wince before responding. “My dad made me watch baseball with him sometimes?”
Maria’s face lights up like she suddenly knows something you don’t. All she does is hum in response, biting her lip like she’s holding back from telling you something.
Or, you’re just drunk. You’ve always been a lightweight. “What?” You ask anyway, finally standing up as you adjust yourself.
The blonde walks over to you, fixes the creases in your little black dress and affixes you with an approving stare. “Don’t worry about it,” Suddenly, she’s whirling around to go back for her phone, which is laid faced down on the nightstand. “Ooh, I knew those heels were a good choice. You look so good!”
As she saunters back over, wraps an arm around your waist, pulls you into her side and poses for a picture, you forget all about the abrupt topic change and the fact that her red theme with questions of sports does mean something, after all.
Truthfully, you still can’t remember exactly how you got from her apartment and into a high-end bar you’ve only ever seen advertised online. Bits and pieces of an Uber ride along with downing more shots come to mind, but it’s all hazy.
You don’t really care to remember though, either, as Maria leads you through the crowded bar, arm linked through yours, with a purpose. The music is loud, so loud you think you can see the walls moving, but that’s also probably just your swimming vision.
“Here they are!” Maria is shouting over the noise, and you follow her gaze to a group of tall, imposing men surrounding two booths right by the bar.
“Those are you coworkers?” You ask, a little incredulous. Scratch that—very incredulous.
She sends you a mischievous grin. “I said friends, girl. Meet my friends!” That’s what gathers their attention, and you’re suddenly reminded that she’s just as tipsy as you right now, if not more.
Ah, fuck, you think as one of the men come over and pull Maria into a hug. He looks at you questioningly after they pull apart, and you send him a small, nervous smile.
Damn it, Maria.
“You must be the friend she mentioned,” He says, again looking to the blonde beside you for confirmation. “From college, yeah?”
That seems to snap Maria out of whatever stunned stupor she’d been in, and she tunes back into your conversation by, again, pulling you into her. “My best friend,” She swoons, and yeah. She’s definitely drunk now.
“Nice to meet you,” He’s chuckling, and seems to be familiar with her antics. “I’m Martin.”
You introduce yourself and shake his offered hand. “Any leftover shots, by any chance?” While taking the lead in conversation with people you’ve never met before might seem odd, you don’t think you can rely on Maria to socialize for you considering she’s already falling into your side.
“I can check, if you want to follow me—ah, shit,” Martin curses, suddenly, then quickly apologizes to the two of you before rushing over to a man with a mustache attempting to climb on top of a table.
“Interesting friends, Maria,” You say into her ear as you reluctantly follow him, keeping her close. “Who’s the one with the mustache?”
She seems to gain a little bit of her wits back to give you a description of all the guys within your eyesight. “The mustache is Seth, super friendly but also, uh… Super drunk. He’s Canadian.”
You’re not sure why you need to know his nationality, but she continues before you can ask.
“And you just met Martin, right? Yeah, he’s really nice. His girlfriend, Nykki, is gorgeous, they’re both from Czechia. Then there’s the really tall one, behind Seth? No, other side. Yeah, that’s Jesperi. A bit of a flirt even though we’re all pretty sure he has a girlfriend, but he still won’t admit it. He’s Finnish.”
Maria continues to describe a few of the others, but truthfully, you tune out after Jesperi because a man about the same height as the Finn is suddenly approaching the group, and looks to be the only one Seth listens to because that’s who gets him to crawl down from the table.
You don’t know why he catches your attention so suddenly, but something about him… He turns, and you’re able to catch a glimpse of his side profile.
Immediately, you come to find there’s no accurate word to describe him. His beauty simply transcends any compliment you could give; instead, you interrupt your friend from her spiel.
“Hey Mare, Mare—who’s that?” Slapping her arm, you point towards the now-laughing stranger. He’s looking around as he does so, which is when he makes contact with your starstruck eyes. He looks amused, then seems to recognize the blonde beside you, and then he’s cutting through the crowd to meet you.
Maria gives you a look before also spotting the approaching stranger, and a large smile lights up her face. It’s a smile you’re very familiar with, one that enraptures every man who catches a glimpse of her pearly whites.
You quickly come to the conclusion that this is why she was so eager to go out. She’s likely had her eye on him for a while, and you struggle to keep the disappointment from your face as she purrs his name.
“Hey, Andrei,” She says, a little giggly. “Great game today, you all played awesome.”
Andrei… You test the name silently, liking the way it feels on your tongue. He’s even taller up close, and you can see the muscle definition straining through the fabric of his shirt. He’s huge, and you feel incredibly small standing next to him.
“Thank you,” He replies, his voice deep. A little husky, definitely accented, but you’re not sure from where. “Who’s your friend?” He changes topic quickly, and those dark eyes are back on you once again.
Maria, as ditzy as she can be, does notice the subtle change in him. Andrei has never been overly flirty with her like she has with him, and she’d be an idiot not to notice the way his eyes were drawn to you the moment he spotted you.
She’s used to having all sorts of attention from the opposite sex, and the Russian hockey player is all sorts her type. It’s amusing though, watching how you melt under his gaze, thinks ‘me too’, and then decides to help you out.
“This is my friend from college,” She introduces you, says your name and watches as he takes it in like it’s very important information. Grabbing your hand from where it rests at your side, she holds it out to Andrei for you, snickers as you send her a glare. “And this is Andrei. He plays for the Carolina Hurricanes.”
This is why she asked you if you watch sports, you suddenly connect the dots. And why she was telling you where all these people are from. Her friends from work are actually sports players, and you understand why she didn’t say it outright.
These guys, they’re famous, right? Your stomach twists, and you suck in a breath as Andrei takes your hand. His palm envelops yours, and he brings it to his lips to press a heated kiss to your skin.
The greeting is outdated, but for whatever reason it suits him. You think the kiss is a promise, too, as his thumb swipes over the back of your hand.
“That’s hockey, right?” You intend to ask Maria, but you’re unable to take your eyes off of Andrei as he slowly lets go of you, like the contact is riveting for him, too. “In the NHL?”
“Yes,” He answers. “You don’t watch?” You’re not a fan like he’d expect. Strangely enough, he likes that you don’t follow them. It makes you all the more interesting, someone new to pick apart for his pleasure.
You flush, turning red under his unrelenting gaze. Suddenly, you feel out of place with your lackluster hockey knowledge. “Not a huge sports girl, unfortunately.” You say slowly, but he catches your quiet words anyway.
He’s already tuned into you—has made you into a new game to win, in his mind.
“I can fix that.” Andrei grins, and it’s almost predatory as he smoothly slides his left arm around your waist. “Do you mind if I steal her?” He directs his question to Maria, but doesn’t really give her a chance to answer before pulling you  away.
Turning your head, you find her sending you a grin as she mouths something encouraging, holding up two thumbs-ups. She’s already decided that if she can’t have this sexy Russian, she wants you to instead.
“I like your heels,” His deep voice is in your ear, suddenly, and you take your eyes off of Maria to look up at Andrei, instead. “They’re the color of our jerseys.”
“Thank you,” You breathe, letting the warmth from his compliment wash over you. “Maria made me wear them.”
He clicks his tongue, like this information doesn’t surprise him. “She has good taste. Red is definitely your color.”
You flush again, finding that his eyes are already on you when you tilt your head up. Nobody has ever told you that before… Maria is always the one getting praise, not you.
The fast beating of your heart, shaky limbs and nervous breath, and you already know you’re falling for it. His charm, his looks, his confidence; it’s addicting, and you can’t force yourself to stop as you ever so slightly lean into him, letting his body envelop you.
Before you know it, you’ve arrived at the bar, and Andrei orders a drink over the loud bass that reverberates in your ears. It appears moments later - not fair - and then he’s sliding it towards you. You meet his eyes again as he smiles, raising a brow at your silence before he gestures to take it.
“For you,” He says. “Vodka cranberry. I have a feeling you like the fruity drinks, no?”
He’s right, as much as you hate to admit it. You’re not one for sipping hard, bitter liquor, even if it gets the job done. You’re not sure how you feel about him being able to read you so well, but you do like not having to carry the conversation.
“Am I that transparent?” You grin, though it’s laced with insecurity as you take a sip. It’s good, and helps calm your nerves.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve, malyshka. It’s not a bad thing.”
You wouldn’t know it then, but he already began patronizing you the moment you met him. The Russian language is full of double-meanings, and malyshka, little one, is rather mocking. For him to know you so well already was a good thing for him, but for you? Not so much.
Andrei sees right through you, and he has from the very beginning.
“You’re not American, are you?” You change topic, suddenly, using the unfamiliar term he used as an excuse. “Your accent, it’s foreign.”
“Net—no, I’m not. Most of my teammates are out of country.” He replies. “I’m from Russia. Just here to play hockey.”
“Do you like it? Here in Raleigh?” You ask, a pitiful form of small talk to keep this sudden tension at bay.
“I do.” He replies. “I like it a whole lot more now that I’ve met you, though.” And then he’s smiling again, a grin rather feral as he looks at you like you’re his prey waiting to be devoured. He’s incredibly smooth as he puts his hands back on you, one sliding around the circumference of your waist while the other brings your hand holding the drink to his lips, taking a sip from the glass.
Your eyes go half-lidded at the motion, and Andrei knows he has you—hook, line, and sinker. He loves this game, but he thinks he likes you a little bit more than that, too.
Not that he’ll ever admit it.
“You just met me,” You blurt, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze.
Andrei, to his credit, takes your nervousness in stride. He finds it cute that he has that effect on you. “And I like you,” He counters, flashing a dazzling smile. “You’re cute. Small, like kisa.”
“Kisa?” You try out the unfamiliar word, your attempt at a Russian accent definitely not as sexy as his.
“Kitten,” He translates. “Will you purr for me?” It’s so disgustingly cheesy you can’t help but grimace, and Andrei laughs at the look on your face.
He steps closer, even more than he was before, and the way he looks down on you only makes the difference in height that much more noticeable. He’s so big… Normally you’d feel caged, but with him it feels safe, and that’s probably a red flag you won’t discover until much later.
You struggle finding something to say, but he beats you to it. “I’d like your number, if you’re willing to give it.” And he’s so smooth, so conniving with the way he asks it because he’s not demanding at all, letting you think you have all the power.
“Okay,” You breathe, eyes widening in awe as you don’t even have the chance to pull out your phone before he’s sliding his own into your hands. “You can add your contact.” He instructs, watching you type in your information.
It looks informal, your first and last name in his phone like you’re merely a coworker. You’ll blame it on you being tipsy later, but you add a smiley face at the end of your name, hoping it makes you stand out. You don’t know how many girls he has in his contacts but you’re not naive enough to think you’re the only one.
You lick your lips almost subconsciously as you hand Andrei his phone back, and he zeroes in on the motion. Suddenly, he has the urge to kiss you, and so he does just that. It catches you by surprise, but soon enough you’re melting into him as one large hand cradles your jaw, keeping you tilted up to him.
Andrei tastes like sin, like temptation and all things bad you were told to never get involved in as a kid. A forbidden fruit, perhaps, and there’s even hints of cranberry left on his tongue to cement that fact.
“Andrei…” You hum in surprise as he deepens the kiss, his lips soft and heavenly. It takes everything in you to pull back, to separate yourself from the addicting taste of him. “Wait, I don’t, um—”
You pause. Andrei looks confused, perhaps a little alarmed as his eyes flit over your face. “You don’t… Kiss anyone?”
“No! No,” You lower your voice, not wanting to attract any attention. “Of course I do. I just, I don’t hook up. For fun. Ever.”
He frowns, like he can’t fathom the idea that you don’t enjoy sex with no strings attached.
“Really,” he says, not quite a question. “You’re beautiful, though.” The charm comes back full force as his hand comes to brush away some of your hair that had fallen into your face. “Surely you have suitors, no?”
Your throat tightens, and suddenly your eyes are glassy as he looks at you with so much reassurance and affection. “Maria usually gets the ‘suitors’, not me.”
“I don’t believe that.” He responds immediately, and he looks so sure of himself as his head lowers, his eyes looking back and forth from yours to your lips, and you’re helpless to stop him as the hand moving your hair comes to rest on your cheek.
It’s all very convincing, the sudden care and adoration… You’ve never had a man treat you so delicate, like a prized possession, and you fall for it all too quickly.
“Let me take you out?” He soon asks, and there’s nothing you can really respond with other than yes.
Everything happens so quickly from here. Andrei becomes a centerpiece in your life, and you’re helpless to stop it as you fall for everything about him. You don’t truly become his ‘girlfriend’, but you are something more. Secret dates and midnight drives where no one can see you confirm that.
That’s why you think he’s finally turning serious about you when he shows up to your apartment at the beginning of March a few weeks before his playoffs start. He holds a large bouquet of roses, except your favorite flowers are gardenias because they remind you of your mom so your smile wobbles a little bit, but you let it slide for the romanticism of it all.
Andrei grins, the whites of his teeth blinding and he pulls you in and kisses the top of your head. He asks you if you’ll come to his playoff games, wear a WAG jacket and act as if what you are is official. You think you truly mean something to him after this, even though he never actually confirms it.
Suddenly you’re Andrei’s girl (but not really) and it becomes your entire identity. You essentially live with him as the playoffs come around, taking care of his apartment while he’s on the road. He talks of getting a dog over the summer, and you’re enthusiastic in your encouragement because you’ll have a friend to keep you company while he’s on the road.
His injury happens, though, and he’s out for good, at least for the rest of the season. You don’t know how to comfort him because your ‘relationship’ is so new, and it’s hard for you to understand why the anger at himself cuts so deep.
Ultimately, you fix the rough patch with sex. Lots and lots of sex. He works through his frustrations by taking you long, hard, and deep, mostly with him on top holding your throat while you take it like the good girl he tells you you are.
“‘Drei, your leg,” You remember saying to him one time as he slams you onto his bed, rolling directly on top of you. He doesn’t seem to hear you at first, too busy laying kisses to your neck.
“I don’t care.” He eventually responds, looking at you so darkly it leaves you shivering. He eats you out afterwards, and, well—you don’t have any more protests after that.
They win the first series against the New York Islanders in six games, and the moment the final goal is scored in overtime you’re jumping out of your seat along with the other WAG’s at one of their houses.
It’s exhilarating, rooting for something with every ounce of your being. You do it for Andrei - who still isn’t playing, but he was there watching - but mostly for yourself because you love the feeling of belonging to a community so close.
The second series ends sooner than the first, a five game victory over the New Jersey Devils, and this time you are at that final game. You sit with Andrei in a private booth at the top of PNC Arena, gripping his arm that also holds onto your thigh with the same amount of intensity.
The moment the final goal is scored - also in overtime - you’re hunching over your seat releasing a long breath. Andrei attempts to rise, then likely remembers his leg which forces him to grip the arms of his chair in strained acceptance.
“They did it,” You hear him whisper, like he can’t believe they actually came out of this series alive. “They did it.” He repeats himself, louder and more confident. You’re still folded over yourself, letting the anxiety drain out of you when he grabs your hand and tangles your fingers together.
“My kisa,” He says, waiting for you to turn your head so he can smile brilliantly at you. “We did it.”
“Not we,” And you grin back, because there’s nothing else for you to do but match his ecstasy. “You did it.”
“I didn’t even play,” Andrei is laughing, soaking in your praise like a sponge. “But I was here, wasn’t I?”
“You mean more to them than you’ll ever know.” More to me than you’ll ever know, you want to say, but hold back on that particular vulnerability.
After he finishes the team meeting in the locker room, you take him back to his house. He still hasn’t been given the all clear to drive, so you’ve taken up caretaker duties along with his mother.
You don’t think she likes you very much, either, but Andrei just says it takes a while for her to warm up to new people. Thankfully, she’s never around when you are though, because as you close the front door to his house he gives you a look equating to a meal he wants to devour.
Andrei seems to forget all about his knee, again, when he moves into you, pushing you back against the front door. “You drive me crazy.” He mumbles into your lips, and you don’t think you’re meant to respond as he moves to your neck.
You wore his jersey tonight, hoping it would bring the team good luck. You also happen to like how possessive he gets when he sees you in his clothes, especially wearing his name. It’s a little ridiculous, but you can’t lie and say you don’t love the attention.
Biting into your jugular, he tastes your rapidly beating heart before moving on, addicted to the sound of the moan that chokes its way out of your throat.
“I’m going to fuck you,” He breathes, massaging his hands into your waist as he pulls you away from the door. “And you’re going to love it, aren’t you? Because you’re such a good girl. My good girl.” His raspy voice leaves you holding back a whimper, and it’s hard to speak as he begins to sneak his hands under your jersey.
When you don’t respond because you’re too distracted by his hands, his damn hands, trailing up your ribs, he digs his fingers harshly into your skin. Your eyes snap open to find him almost glaring.
“Yes,” You think he wants to hear you say. “I’m yours.” You babble as his fingers let up, moving to cup your breasts over your bra as he pinches your nipples into hard points.
“That’s right,” He hums almost mockingly, hands now back to your waist as he pulls you after him to the path of his room. “No one else can make you feel like I do, yeah?”
This time he doesn’t expect a response as he pushes his door open, turning you around as you fall into his bed. Your head spins as the jersey you’re wearing rides up and Andrei quickly does the rest, slipping it off you with ease.
“Fuck,” You think he says, but you could care less as his bare hands are back on you, kneading the soft skin of your stomach and trailing back up the length of your torso. “No shirt underneath?”
“It was too hot outside,” You reply, breathless as you attempt to tug his suit and tie off, but that quickly proves to be more difficult. He tsks, thankfully deciding to aid you as he rids himself of his jacket. “You’re lucky that jersey is so thick.” He says, moreso to himself as he begins unbuttoning his slacks.
All that’s left is his undershirt and boxers, meanwhile you’re still left in your bra, jeans, and panties. Andrei must realize this too as he kicks his slacks off somewhere behind him. “Strip,” He commands, but you don’t need the reminder as you’re already one step ahead of him.
Your jeans and panties come off quickly, but it’s harder to remove your bra lying down. You eye the delicious specimen of a man above you, reaching out your hand for his own. “Help me?” You ask, biting your bottom lip before rolling onto your stomach.
Andrei mutters something behind you, but it’s clearly appraisal as the first thing his hands land on is your bare ass. He spends a few moments appreciating the view before his fingers trail up your back, unclipping your bra much quicker than you ever could have.
“You, kisa, are dangerous,” He teases, lowering himself to where his solid chest is pressing down on your back. He loves taking you from behind, tangling his hands in your hair while you’re left to his mercy.
He noses his way past your hair to reach your neck, lightly nipping the skin as you sigh, your head melting to the side so he can continue his ministrations.
“Andrei, please,” You hiss, the wetness between your thighs now too prominent to ignore. You wiggle your hips tantalizingly, hoping to catch his attention.
He grins into your neck, doesn’t respond as he presses a final kiss to your pulse point before pulling back, his right hand sweeping the rest of your hair to the side.
“You need me to touch you?” He asks, smoothing his left hand over your hip before slipping it to the inside of your thighs. His fingers find your clit, rubbing it ever so lightly to feel you flinch with sensitivity underneath him.
You tremble underneath him as he continues stroking you, and your hips jerk upward when two of his fingers slip past your walls and curl. He’s laughing as your ears ring, and already you’re so close to coming when his thumb rubs circles on your clit in time with the thrust of his hand.
Just like everything else about you, though, he knows; he knows and he pulls back before you even have the chance to swear because then the last layer of clothing between you is gone. His boxers are thrown somewhere behind him along with his undershirt, and now he wastes no time pulling your hips up, leaving your chest pressed into the bed.
So used to this familiar position, you look behind you in anticipation to find him stroking his cock, staring at your glistening pussy with barely contained arousal. You’re not sure what he’s waiting for, but then he’s sliding his free hand through your soaked lips to gather the wetness there, using it as lubricant.
“Shit,” He says, swearing more to himself before climbing atop you. It’s routine the way he grabs your hair, tangles it in his fingers while the other guides his swollen cock to your entrance. The bulbous head pushes into you with ease, finding no resistance as he sinks into you.
Andrei hisses, mutters something in Russian, then is lowering his head to press his lips to your ear. “Fuck, you’re tight. You just feel so good all the time, you know that, kisa?”
The only sound capable of coming out your mouth is a whimper as you bury your face into the sheets as his hips begin thrusting, hitting your sweet spot with bullseye accuracy each time.
The girth of him stretches you out deliciously, and it leaves your walls clenching and unclenching rhythmically in time with his movements. You mold to him like your body was made for him, like there’s no other way to exist without him taking you in such primal fashion.
Andrei’s head rests in the crook of your neck, murmuring indiscernible phrases while his hands trail up and down your body. His hips rut against your clit each time he thrusts forward, and if anything you get wetter at the thought of him fucking you so callously.
You feel like his most precious belonging sometimes, like an object. It can be disorienting when he talks to you like you’re a child, but when he fucks you it’s like that preciousness he views you with is amplified.
You flinch upward when his cock curves into you just right, and the way he coos into your ear to bring you back down only verifies that thought. He wants to take care of you, always—even if it demeans you.
Andrei suddenly rolls over onto his back, bringing you with him to where you’re the one on top with your back laying against his chest. He sits up, and now you’re in his lap, thighs spread to the side as he once again begins fucking into you.
Your mouth opens into a silent scream as your head rolls back onto his shoulder, the new angle forcing his cock into deeper lengths inside you, and it hurts but it hurts so good and why were you ever questioning how he treats you, again?
How has only one man ever been able to make you feel this good?
Euphoria floods your veins as his hands find purchase on your body, one taking your left tit and rolling your nipple between his fingers while the other sneaks down to the junction of your bodies and finds your clit, rubbing over it mercilessly.
When your stomach starts clenching and your lower spine tingles, Andrei is right back at your ear whispering encouragement. “That’s it, angel,” He praises. “That’s it. You want to come, yeah? Do it. I’ve got you.”
His name leaves your mouth as a breathless whine, and you struggle not to flinch away from his touch when it becomes too much but also not enough, and somehow he knows this and just holds you tighter.
When his cock hits you so deliciously good while his thumb swipes over your clit, you fall. You fall hard, the walls of your cunt seizing around him as ecstasy takes over your body. Sparks fly across your skin, stars filling the empty blackness behind your closed eyes and you think you’re sobbing Andrei’s name but you can’t be sure. The only thing you can be sure of is him; his cock inside you, his hands on your body, his voice in your ear, his teeth on your neck as he approaches his high.
Yours lasts for longer than normal because he doesn’t stop moving—if anything, he goes faster, because the sight and feeling of sending you into a spiral only triggers his own release.
By now you’re motionless, unable to even lift your head as it remains lying against his shoulder. Andrei’s thrusts are frenzied, more sloppy and less precise, until he’s throwing his own back with a long, pleasure-filled groan.
Eventually, he stills. His chest is rising and falling behind you rapidly, attempting to collect himself now that his mind is back in the present. You sigh, quietly yet happy, as his cock softens inside you but doesn’t move, his release slowly trickling down your conjoined bodies.
You suddenly remember that he didn’t lose a condom, but then you remind yourself that you’d stopped using condoms weeks before. You were already on birth control, and he assured you this was exclusive.
You were a fool to believe him.
Andrei soon moves, his hands taking to your hips as he gently lifts you off of him. “I know,” He says when you hiss with sensitivity. “I’ve got you, good girl…” He lays you on your back, and you don’t move from your position even as he leaves the room.
Your eyes soon flutter shut, and you curl to the side as the minutes go by with no sign of return. It’s not regret that fills your mind, no, but another emotion, something stronger than just satisfaction at getting such a pleasurable release.
You don’t dare to think of the world ‘love’, but maybe something similar to that is what you’re feeling?
It doesn’t help that just as you’re on the verge of falling asleep, Andrei comes back to your naked form while he’s now adorned in sweatpants. You merely hum as he sits on the edge of his bed next to you, one of his hands reaching out to trail up your arm. When he reaches your face he brushes away the hair stuck to your cheeks and forehead from cooling sweat, letting your skin breathe.
He says something, so quiet it’s impossible to hear over the sound of your thundering heart, and you don’t have the energy to ask as you finally succumb to exhaustion.
Andrei cleans you up after, dries the inside of your legs and slides one of his t-shirts over you. He tucks you under his sheets and pulls you into his arms, letting your hair tickle his cheeks.
The Eastern Conference Final arrives far quicker than any of you are prepared for, and games one and two against the Florida Panthers are full of anxious nail-biting and frustrated cursing when the puck hits the goal post.
Both games end in overtime losses, and the team has to play games three and four in enemy territory, down by two.
Andrei, understandably, isn’t taking it well. It's hard for the players on the ice, of course, but even harder when he has to sit at the sidelines, hidden in a booth at the top of the arena with you doing your best to comfort him.
“Why can’t they just fucking score?” You remember him hissing before the end of regulation in game two, not angry at his teammates but at the situation instead.
And himself, too, because he is the injured one. He is the one who tore his ACL making it so that he couldn’t play. It isn’t his fault, but it is at the same time and that’s what’s truly getting to him.
As the timer hit zero, he’d leaned back in his chair and grabbed your hand without thought, squeezing your fingers to the point of strangulation.
You let him, though, because at that point you’d let him do anything.
“I’m sorry.” You said, your eyes on him the entire time. It pained you to see him so miserable, and there was nothing you could do to make it better. “This isn’t your fault. It’s… Blame Bobrovsky, okay? He’s just too—”
You interrupted yourself, not wanting to say ‘good’ even if that’s true because you didn’t want to upset him with the implication that his teammates couldn’t be better.
Andrei, to give him credit, didn’t take offense. His eyes were on you the moment you started your ramble, and as you finally paused to gauge the look on his face you found amusement and unbridled affection in his gaze.
“Too good?” He finished your sentence, waiting for your meek nod of confirmation. Merely sighing, he only brought your intertwined fingers to his lips, pressing a kiss to the top of your hand. “You’re right, kisa. He is too good.”
You stay back in Raleigh while the team, including Andrei, takes flight to Sunrise, Florida. Most of the WAG’s stay back too, the majority already anticipating the result of this series.
Hours after the team’s flight, Maria calls you late on the eve of game three.
“Hey, Mare!” You answer, lowering the volume of whatever show is on the television to better hear her. “What’s up?”
“Hey, girl!” She chirps, and you can hear voices in the background so you assume she’s somewhere busy. “Just landed in Florida!”
“You flew to Florida?” You ask, choking slightly. “Since when?”
“Don’t you remember? I told you! The team needed extra people since we’re staying here for longer than a night.”
“Oh, shit, yeah,” Is all you say because you don’t, in fact, remember, and suddenly feel really guilty about it. You haven’t actually spoken to Maria face-to-face in weeks, having been caught up in everything Andrei-related.
You haven’t talked to lots of people you were close to before Andrei came into the picture, now that you think about it. It’s a problem you’re sure to reflect on when you’re done talking to your friend.
“...bunch of us are going out tonight since the game isn’t until later tomorrow night, including a lot of the team.”
Maria’s voice tunes back in, and you shake yourself out of your thoughts to catch-up. “Really?” You inquire, now suddenly interested. “Is Andrei going with them?”
You could ask him yourself, sure, but you don’t really talk about that stuff, what he does or what you do in your free time. It always felt invasive to ask because you weren’t quite sure if you even had the right to, considering the nature of your relationship.
You doubt he thinks about what you do when you’re not with him, anyway, so you always just assume you can live in the moment with him and have that be good enough.
“Dunno,” She replies. “Can’t you ask him yourself? You’re seeing the man, after all.” You can hear the smirk in her voice at the last sentence.
“Um,” You stall, because no, you can’t just ask. “He just got off the plane, I don’t want to bother him.”
“Mhm,” Maria hums, and you can’t tell if she’s suspicious or not by her tone alone. “True. I’ll just text you if anything interesting happens, okay? Sound good?”
“Sounds good,” You can’t help but laugh at her sudden hastiness, and soon enough she’s hanging up the phone with the claim that the team bus is there to take her to the hotel.
As your call with Maria is in the early afternoon, you have a while to wait before all night life in Florida begins, so any updates will take time to roll in. You know this, and yet you can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.
Distracting yourself by shopping helps, as does meeting up with a few of the WAG’s for a late lunch. You’re able to put your anxiety in the back of your mind for the rest of the day, and as the sun sets you pull back up to Andrei’s house and let yourself in with the spare key given to you, mind at peace as you float around his living space in preparation for bed.
You almost considered his place your home now, rather than your actual apartment. You’ve been spending so much time here, with him and also alone as everything with him seems to be going so good… When you settle into his bed, wearing one of Andrei’s large t-shirts and boxers, you check your phone one last time for any updates.
There’s a few Instagram notifications, one or two emails from your university, only one message in the groupchat with the WAG’s, and a text from Andrei which is what you zero in on first.
Settled in the hotel now. Leg is hurting, so I’m going to bed early tonight. Text you tomorrow, okay?
There’s no silly emojis, no indication of any emotion in his text, and yet you read the message with a smile, insecurities officially gone. His teammates are going out tonight, not him, and you don’t have to worry about Maria texting you later because there would be nothing to update you on.
How could you have ever doubted him?
You fall asleep peacefully, unbeknownst to the fact that long after midnight, your phone begins blowing up with silent notifications from Maria. She does, in fact, send you updates of her night out, but not updates you’ll smile at when you wake up the next day.
Sunlight filtered through closed eyes is what has you slowly awakening to the world of consciousness, and you stretch your arms with a yawn before reaching for your phone first thing. It’s hot to the touch, and at first you attribute that to it being stuck under your pillow the entire night, but upon unlocking the screen you discover that that is not the case.
WTF did you and Andrei break up?????
He’s here with the rest of the guys and he’s highkey flirting with some randos???
I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were done w/ him!
You’re prettier than them btw. I snuck a few pics
Several more messages from Maria have taken over your inbox, those are just the first you see. It takes your brain a minute to catch-up, but when it finally does you’re sitting up with bated breath as you tap on one of the images she sent.
It’s definitely Andrei—you’d know his face anywhere. He is, in fact, surrounded by girls in the picture, his arm wrapped around the waist of a gorgeous blonde with a drink in his other hand, and it’s so reminiscent of the way he holds you at clubs that you know, you know immediately that this is what you meant to him all along.
The affectionate name-calling, gentle hand-holding and constant touching… You thought he looked back at you like you hung the moon, but now you’re realizing that maybe you were just projecting the reflection of your own starstruck eyes instead.
You sit up in bed, hand pressed to your forehead as a sudden headache rips through your brain. What the fuck are you supposed to do now? Remembering that you’re actually in this man’s house, in his clothes, too, has you jumping up like you’ve been burned, and you quickly exit the bedroom to collapse on the couch instead.
“Oh my god,” You whisper to yourself, in disbelief as you click through more of the images sent to you from last night. There’s no denying to yourself that he was with these women, all while supposedly having a significant other waiting for him at home.
There’s no one to witness the slow breakdown of your sanity, and you can’t even cry because you’re so in shock about what you’re seeing
Is this real? Are you real? Is this really happening?
It’s almost like a switch in your brain goes off, and very quickly you drop your phone. You take a deep breath, you bury your raging emotions, and you stand up from the couch to start your day.
You refuse to allow yourself to break down now. Not when you still haven’t spoken to him. At the very least you’ll wait until you have an explanation…
To confront him on your very strong feelings you’ve been doing your best to ignore until now, because they’re too real in the wake of this discovery to just vanish away like you’ve done before.
You need to know where you stand with him. Truly, because these pictures you can’t stop thinking about? It’s too much. You can’t pretend it doesn’t feel like thousands of little knives stabbing your heart repeatedly even if it all means nothing to him.
Everything goes back to normal. Everything is fine. You never saw those pictures, ignored Maria's continuing calls and acted as if your world wasn’t suddenly tilted on its axis.
Andrei doesn’t text you at all throughout the day, which can probably be attributed to preparation of game three, but all you can think about are the girls he might be texting.
Because he certainly isn’t texting you.
Game three results in a loss, a bad one, and it would pain you to see the reactions on their faces filtered through the television if you weren’t so numb.
He still doesn’t text you. Doesn’t call, either, and Maria eventually gives up on trying to reach you as game four approaches.
The impending doom of Andrei bares down on you like a vice, slowly strangling you in the screaming silence of his house you still remain in. Maybe this is something you should have seen coming because it isn’t the first time he’s gone radio silent, you just assumed he was busy—because that’s what he told you.
You’re starting to think that maybe you shouldn’t have listened.
You love him though, right? That’s why you believed him? That’s what you’re feeling right now, why it’s like you can barely breathe when you think of his smile or the way he’s betrayed you so?
The Panthers sweep the Hurricanes, a complete four-game victory that sends Andrei and the rest of the team licking their wounds all the way back to North Carolina. You don’t watch the fourth game with anyone but yourself and a bottle of wine while catching up on homework for one of your classes.
Becoming so close to Andrei meant you became close to the rest of his teammates too, to the point where you’d consider some of them your good friends, so seeing their faces broadcasted live after the final goal is devastating to see.
Not as devastating as the text you receive, though, in the midst of trying to figure out what to say to him the moment he steps foot inside his house.
I won’t be home tonight, heading straight out with some of the younger guys. I will see you tomorrow
Well. You can’t say you’re surprised. You’re willing to bet money he’s out sleeping with some random girl whose name he won’t remember the next day. Instead of letting the anxiety take over, anger takes its place instead.
And boy do you run with it because anger is so much better than feeling powerless. It simmers in your blood, a wildfire settling low in your stomach until you’re practically shaking while waiting for Andrei to walk through the front door the next day.
When he finally does, you’re so mad you’re numb. Your anger has turned you into a ghost, an attempt at protecting your fragile heart from more heartbreak likely to fall upon you the moment he tries to charm you back into his good graces.
Once he spots you sitting on the couch, he smiles in greeting. It’s soft, and you’d like to say affectionate, but you no longer can tell how deep his feelings run for you.
Clearly, not deep enough.
“Kisa,” He says. “How are you? I’m sorry I was out late.”
“It’s fine,” You respond tightly. Andrei doesn’t seem to notice, merely nods before walking past you to the kitchen. You follow him silently, trying to figure out how to phrase your next words.
You end up settling on a subtle approach. “I’m sorry about the games… I know it must’ve sucked having to watch.”
He scoffs immediately, mutters something you don’t catch but still doesn’t turn around to face you as he rummages through his fridge. “It definitely was not fun to sit there, no.” He replies.
“Is that why you didn’t come back last night? You were coping with the loss?” You’re hoping your strong reference to his late-night escapades will spark something in him, but alas you still seem to be wrong and all he does is cast you a furtive glance before going back to his business.
God, you were just going to have to wring this out of him, weren’t you?
“Andrei,” You start, taking a deep breath. He still doesn’t stir. “Andrei, I know.”
Finally, he stops. Pauses mid-motion of whatever he’s doing, and his shoulders seem to tense in preparation of your foreboding words.
“There’s other girls, right? It’s not just me?” Your voice is already wobbling, and you’re glad he’s still refusing to face you because your eyes are slowly filling with tears, the agony of these last few days catching up to you.
This is when Andrei finally turns around. He meets your eyes last after scanning up and down your body; the clothes you’re wearing that aren’t his, your nails digging into your hands, and finally the bright flush of your face as you struggle not to explode.
“What do you mean?” Is what he says, looking at you calculatingly.
“Don’t play dumb with me, ‘Drei,” You whisper, invisible wires constricting around your throat as you force yourself to continue speaking. “Maria told me. She saw you. And you lied to me.”
Andrei doesn’t speak. He just stares, fingers clenching and unclenching like he can’t decide if he should approach you or not. After what seems like hours of silent battle, he replies, starting out by saying your name like a warning. “She… Maria had no right to tell you that.”
“Because I’m not actually your girlfriend, right?” Your response is immediate, and it hurts him if the flinch on his face is anything to go by. “You don’t owe me anything. Not a title, responsibility. You never promised me any of that so sleeping with other girls is perfectly okay.”
Everything you’re saying is true but it’s all wrong the way you’re looking at each other. Tears are now openly streaming down your cheeks and Andrei hasn’t moved since the moment you opened your mouth.
“Nothing to say?” It’s defeated, your entire demeanor as your shoulders sag and you fight the urge to collapse. “Yeah. I—I wouldn’t know what to say either.”
“I’m sorry,” Andrei whispers, and he doesn’t fight you which makes it all the more devastating. Everything you’re saying is true and it’s still all so wrong but he isn’t fighting you and wow, you’re really about to lose him, aren’t you?
“I think the worst part of this for me is that I actually let myself fall in love with you.” It’s your last-ditch effort of getting something out of him, anything that proves this isn’t completely one-sided on your end.
Andrei looks gutted at that. But he steels his resolve, his eyes go cold and he clenches his jaw as you try, one last time, to reach him.
“Do you love me?”
He’s staring at the wall behind you. No words fall from the lips you’ve kissed a thousand times until they finally do, and this is when you come to the realization that you’re ruined. You won’t ever look at another man the same because Andrei will forever haunt you in everything that you are and what you do.
“No. I don’t.”
You don’t put up much of a fight after that. You wave your white flag and slip past him to grab the small bag you’d packed earlier in preparation.
Andrei doesn’t move from his spot in the kitchen once. His face is tight, eyes dark and anguished as you drop his spare key on the counter. You look at him one last time, will him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t.
He never does—so you leave and you don’t look back.
It hurts worse because there really wasn’t a fight. There was no screaming, breaking glass, hurling insults at each other; it was a quiet acceptance of the end of a relationship that had no chance of lasting.
That’s what gets you. Not just because it’s over, but because he doesn’t love you like you love him.
You can’t believe you let yourself fall for it.
When you finally make it back to your apartment it feels like walking into an alternate reality, especially after an agonizing drive back full of nothing but silence and your thoughts.
You’ve practically lived with Andrei the last few months so much that you’ve forgotten you had a life before him. Maria comes to your mind immediately at that thought, and you can’t think of anything else you need more right now than your best friend.
Her phone only rings twice before she picks up. She says your name warily, likely because she hasn’t heard a word from you in two days.
“Hey,” You whimper, and you hate that you can tell how broken you sound. “Um, you were right. About Andrei. I… Talked to him about it. We’re done.”
There’s silence on the other end for several moments. Then:
“Oh, babe, I’m so sorry. I’m coming over, and I’m bringing the fattest bottle of wine known to man, okay?”
You can’t help but laugh through your tears.
“Don’t respond, you can’t say no. I’ll see you in a few!”
And, well, you do nothing but let her hang up as you stare at your blank lock screen for a minute. Something possesses you to try and freshen up even though it’s just Maria, so you make your way to your bathroom.
Opening the door, your eyes land on your reflection in the mirror, your tear-stained eyes the same color red as the lipstick you wore the first time you met him. The same red of your heart, too, as you feel the shattering of it now more than ever.
It all goes back to him. Everything about you, your identity as ‘his girl’ reducing you to someone who doesn’t exist without him.
Fuck you, Andrei, you want to yell. Fuck you and fuck everything you put me through.
As you furiously rub your eyes, you realize you don’t know who you are anymore. You let yourself be molded into an unfamiliar version of yourself, into someone just for Andrei to want to keep around.
The tears start again, and you’re left sniffling in the suffocating silence of your bathroom. The only person who knew you, the you now, is gone.
And suddenly, you find yourself alone.
Well… Not totally alone. “Fuck him!” Maria shouts after she breaks into your apartment (she has your spare key) after you’d collapsed onto your couch and refused to open the door. “Seriously, fuck him. You’re way too good for him.”
“Weren’t you the one who convinced me to sleep with him in the first place?” Is your weak rebuttal, muffled and almost imperceptible as your head is burrowed in a pillow.
Your friend tsks, likely waving her arms around in that expressive way she does. “Yes, well. I never claimed to see the future. But now we know him for the piece of shit he is!”
Maria is your closest friend, yes, but you also know her to be someone who tells you what you want to hear. Right now, you’re feeling vengeful and angry, so she’s feeding into those emotions to make you feel better.
You know, in two months time or however long it takes you to process this, when you start missing him and tiptoe around the idea of calling him, she’ll support you then, too.
Which probably isn’t what you need, but, whatever. You’re just grateful you have someone on your side.
“I need…” You start, not quite sure how to phrase what you’re wanting. “I need to forget.”
“A one nightstand type of forget or get so drunk you pass out type of forget?”
You wrinkle your nose at the thought of sleeping with someone so soon. As much as you hate it, you don’t think you’ll ever stop craving Andrei’s body.
No man ever could make you feel that good…
“Get drunk,” You say, quirking a small smile at the whoop she lets out. “I can’t fuck someone right now. At least not yet.”
“Yeah,” The blonde agrees, sighing almost wistfully. “I’d feel the same if I knew what his dick felt like.”
“Maria!” You shriek, throwing a spare pillow as hard as you can her way. It misses, but does the job of lightening the mood and keeps you giggling the rest of the night.
She does her job in making you forget, though. Makes you put on one of your shortest dresses and gets you drink after drink until you’re hunched over a toilet in the back of some bar gagging your stomach out.
You wake up the next day with the worst hangover ever, but Maria is fairing the same and somehow you consider it worth it. Maybe you can live your life again without him.
You’ve done it before, right?
And really, it’s ridiculous when you let yourself think about how you’d only been seeing the man for five months and he completely managed to send your world careening in that timespan. So, you don’t let yourself think about it. Instead, you live.
For yourself, for your friends, for your heart that won’t ever be full but feels a little bit better every time you wake up each day without Andrei next to you.
You graduate university with your bachelor’s and get a job that’s even better than your last, and you make a really good group of friends at said-job without Maria’s help (though she’ll always be your best). The summer passes by with melancholy laughter and gentle healing, and while your first love always remains in the back of your mind, you think about him less.
So much less that you lose track of time, not even realizing that October of twenty twenty-three is here and the NHL season is starting back up. You haven’t spoken to any of the WAG’s since you broke it off with Andrei, assuming you would no longer be welcome in the ‘clique’ and preferring to separate yourself from a group associated with someone who brought you so much pain, so there haven’t been any reminders about the new season from them.
The memories of him are fleeting. They’ll come to you at random times, and now that you’ve lived in the past yet again, you can forget about the end where Andrei is a distant thought but every time his name is brought up it squeezes your heart so much you can’t breathe.
You’re doing better. Truly, you are. You’d stopped crying over him long ago, and you might have gone to class with swollen eyes and showed up to work despondent, but you’re working through it in your own way. Healing isn’t linear but you’re making progress slowly but surely.
One day, you wake up with a sudden determination to officially ‘get back out there’, per Maria’s words. There’s nothing spectacular about this day; it’s only mid-November, the weather in that awkward stage of autumn morphing into winter.
Maybe it’s because the night before you’d succumbed to the urge to search up the Hurricanes’ schedule, curious to when they’d be home and not.
It’s only a coincidence that they have a home game when you call your friends from work, asking if they’d like to go out after everyone gets off. It’s also a coincidence when you meet someone at said-bar you attend, and it’s absolutely insane how if you squint he kind of looks like Andrei.
Oh, but he’s so, so sweet… His name is Jack and he buys you and your friends drinks, keeps a respectful distance yet never strays far when you’re wrapped into another conversation. He asks for your number at the end of the night and you give it to him without hesitation, taking note of the way he creates your contact in his phone himself.
“You like cats?” He asks as he’s still typing away, and your breath catches in your throat because it’s a question that makes you think of the first night you met him. When you don’t respond, he gestures towards your keychain attached to the strap of your handbag.
“You have little kittens on your keychain. I think that’s what I’ll add to your name, yeah?” Jack laughs a little shyly, and it’s cute but you keep replaying kisa in your mind over and over in a Russian accent you never could quite imitate.
“Yeah, I do like cats,” You say, flushing at the sudden amusement in his eyes. “I like them a lot.”
Jack doesn’t waste any time texting you the next day, and the normalcy of it freaks you out a little. Where’s the anxiety? The stomach-dropping nerves that come with talking to someone new? The constant wondering if they like you or not?
It’s so safe and secure that it hurts, because it was never like that before.
Everyone in your life is so supportive, though, but that only makes it worse because they can see how good this man is for you, but why can’t you? You feel like pulling your hair out when he texts you good morning and goodnight and sick to your stomach when he shows up during your lunch break with flowers.
However, there’s no one is more enthusiastic about Jack's new presence in your life than Maria.
“He’s a dream guy, honestly,” She swoons, kicking her feet back on her ottoman. “You’re so lucky. I would kill for a guy I met at a bar to be so smitten with me he shows up to my job with flowers.”
You hum in agreement, unable to come up with something to say. “He… Yeah, it’s nice, I guess.”
The blonde eyes you from where you’re curled up on her couch, deliberately avoiding her stare as you mindlessly watch whatever is on the TV. “You guess? He’s perfect!”
“On paper,” You retort, huffing slightly in frustration at yourself because why can’t you see what everyone else sees? “I don’t really know him.”
“Yet. You don’t really know him yet.” She helpfully points out. “Why don’t you want to give him a chance?”
“I… I do. I am giving him a chance. Maybe I’m just not feeling it.”
“He’s not Andrei, babe.”
You fight the powerful urge to scoff. I know, you want to scream. I know. That’s the problem.
Jack is too perfect for you. You want the ups and downs, the electrifying chemistry, the undeniable connection you’ve felt with no one else before. You crave the feeling of those past five months, of being with someone who lit you up to your very core.
It’s been almost eight months and you still can’t get him out of your head.
You give Jack a rightful chance, though, like everyone in your life is begging you to. You can’t bring yourself to end it because there really is nothing wrong, it’s a perfect getting-to-know-you stage which checks off all the boxes. It’s just that you don’t want normal because normal is boring.
You want chaos. And Andrei is chaos personified.
Unbeknownst to you, Maria is still very good friends with a lot of the WAG’s and talks about you when they ask. They miss you, it turns out, but your friend never tells you this in fear of sending you into a depressive spiral that tends to happen when they’re brought up. They’re ecstatic to hear that your life seems to be going so well after the breakup, especially after seeing Andrei’s reaction to it all.
This is something Maria doesn’t tell you, either. She’s such a good friend, protecting your heart like that. Andrei did not come out of his house after you ended it the same person; he was a little darker, a little angrier, frustrated in a way that suggested nothing could be done to fix it.
It doesn’t help that he couldn’t take it out by playing hockey, because he wasn’t cleared to play until the end of October, a month into the regular season.
He never admits his sour mood is partly to blame you for. Not that it’s your fault—he’s the one who fucked up, not you.
Never you.
Maria knows all of this and still gives him the cold shoulder for his treatment of you. None of the girls were very happy after finding out while his teammates just gave him awkward pats on the back. It doesn’t stop him from finding out about you, though, and what you’re up to.
The WAG’s talk. They’re gossip machines, and while normally he hates them for it because he always has to watch what he says around them, this time he’s thankful because they tell their husbands and boyfriends everything.
He’s at Martin and his girlfriend, Nykki’s, apartment watching their cavapoo, Gigi, when he finds out you’re seeing someone new. They’re heatedly talking about something when they walk in and don’t see him on the floor cuddling Gigi, so he doesn’t interrupt.
“I mean, I’m not surprised, but wow. It certainly took her a while to move on, didn’t it?”
He hears a smack, assumes Nykki has hit him on the arm like she typically does when he pisses her off. “She loved him, of course it took time!”
“Ow!” He hisses, though it’s clearly in jest. “Well, yeah, but like… It’s been months. And it’s not like she’s in contact with any of us anymore to remind her of him.” Andrei notes the sourness in his teammate’s voice, feels his heart drop because he thinks he knows who they’re talking about, now.
“Still,” Nykki replies. “I was so sad after my first heartbreak. They take a while to heal from, especially when it’s not a clean ending. It’s no secret how Andrei treated her.” She’s frowning when she continues. “I wish I could give her a hug, but I get it. I wouldn’t want to see any of us, either.”
Martin sighs. “I get it, too. I sure do miss the wine she’d bring though. She had the best fucking taste, ever.”
“Of course you only miss her for her alcohol.”
Andrei decides to clear his throat at this moment. When he does so, Martin and Nykki whip their heads towards him on the floor, surprise and guilt decorating their faces when they see him holding Gigi rather dejectedly.
He starts by saying your name, even surprises himself when it comes out biting and, dare he say it… Jealous? “She’s seeing someone?”
Martin and Nykki share a glance. Gigi chooses this as the time to leap up from his lap and run towards her parents where Martin happily picks her up. “I’m going to go take her out. Thanks for watching, ‘Drei!” He quickly flees the apartment, and Nykki says something under her breath as she glares after him.
They both know Andrei isn’t letting this go.
“Do you remember Maria, her friend? Works in the Hurricanes’ marketing department?” She eventually says, joining him on the floor.
“The blonde one? Yes,” He replies, and even though there are many blondes working for the team he knows exactly who she’s talking about. She’s your best friend, after all, and he knows everything about you.
Like how he knows you will never get over him. Conceited? Yes, but he had (has) you wrapped around his finger.
“Well, she talks to a lot of us still, despite everything that happened. And she tells us things.” Nykki pauses, almost like she’s scared to go on.
“Things like?” Andrei inquires. “How she is doing? Who she is doing?”
She glares at him then, eyes narrowing into slits. “Not that you really have a right to know, but yes.”
His fingers dig into his palms and his jaw cramps with how much he’s trying to keep from exploding.
“So, she’s seeing some guy now?” He scoffs like the very idea is incredulous. As if whatever pathetic excuse of a man you’re talking to could ever compare to him.
“She has a right to move on, Andrei. You should too. You ruined her.”
That fact remains true, but he still has no desire to ever let you go as he deliberately ignores her advice, well-meaning as it is.
How ruined could you really be if you’re already with somebody else?
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to run into you because you avoid him like the plague. You know everywhere he and his teammates frequent so you stopped showing up long ago, and he’s pretty sure you keep a several hundred-foot radius between you and PNC Arena at all times. He doesn’t blame you, but it pisses him off to know he can’t easily find you.
Christmas passes, you spend it with Jack and Andrei spends it with his Russian teammates. The New Year arrives just as quickly, and as he locks lips with some random girl at the party he’s at he thinks of you. Wonders who you’re with, if you’re kissing that guy Nykki told him about.
You actually flew back home to spend it with your parents, giving Jack some weak excuse about how you weren’t able to see them over the holidays.
North Carolina winter is in full force as February of twenty twenty-four rolls around, and your life remains inexplicably boring while Andrei’s picks up. The Hurricanes are finally having a redemption arc after their awful first-half of the season, and thus are heading out to celebrate far more often than normal.
They’re more daring in where they choose to go, too, wanting to branch out of their norms, because why not?
This is really unfortunate for you. Horrifying, actually, because you’re out with your friends, Jack, and his friends too when the team comes strolling in. Eyes instantly shoot their way, aweing at the miniature celebrities in their own right for finally bringing a good professional sports team to NC.
The moment Andrei steps foot in the establishment you know. Your skin catches fire, your ears ring, and your heart thunders inside your chest because only man can set off your senses so powerfully.
You look away from Jack - who thankfully doesn’t notice, he’s sucked into a conversation with one of his friends - and find Andrei approaching the bar with Martin and Seth. He hasn’t noticed you yet and you try to keep that from happening as you sink down into your seat, flashing your friends an exaggerated smile when they eye you curiously.
You’re unable to hide for long, though, when a song bursts from the speakers and sends everyone into an excited frenzy, your group included as they crowd the dance.
Luckily you’re able to escape that particular rally and wave Jack off when he asks you if you’re okay. “I’m fine,” You shout over the bass rattling your eardrums. “Just letting my drink settle a bit.”
He doesn’t question you, merely nods and smiles before disappearing somewhere with his friends. Now, you’re alone, and you can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing because now you have a perfect view of Andrei and his teammates leaning against the bar, looking far too good as they do so.
You can’t keep your eyes off him. You never could, especially can’t now as you soak up every little change your eyes can see. He has a scruff now, a sexy five o’clock shadow that you know firsthand how it feels between your thighs. His hair is a little longer, too—you wonder if it’s still as soft as you remember.
Jack suddenly appears from a break in the crowd and oh, yeah, fuck you can’t be thinking about your ex like this, can you? No, you aren’t officially with Jack, but it’s still wrong. He likes you so much, you know this, and you… Don’t hate him?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, you bemoan to yourself, torn between the angel on your left and the devil on your right that don’t give you the chance to decide because you feel eyes baring into your skull, begging you to notice them. Your entire being freezes, stuck in between some weird limbo as you lock eyes with Andrei for the first time in months.
There’s no one else but you and him as neither one of you refuses to break first, and you only lose eye contact when a group of people walks between you. When they’re gone and you’re able to freely look again, you realize he’s gone from his spot at the bar. All his teammates are still there, and they’ve now spotted you too.
Would it be wrong to call an uber and just tell Jack you felt sick?
Your name is suddenly being whispered into your ear, and you would have flinched if the sound of his voice didn’t have you relaxing back into your seat. You refuse to look up at first, because if you look at him so close to you again you’ll fold.
“Andrei,” You greet, quietly. “How are you?” You still aren’t looking at him, choosing to swirl around the drink in your hand instead.
“I’m good,” He replies, so close you can feel the heat of his body seeping into your skin. You lean into it almost subconsciously until he’s sliding into the booth next to you, pressing the two of you together. “How are you, my kisa?”
“You don’t get to call me that anymore.” You retort, finally meeting his eyes to cast him a withering glare.
“No?” Andrei reaches a hand up to brush some stray hairs from your face. So delicate his touch, he trails his hand down your cheek, your neck, and down your waist until landing on your thigh. You don’t stop him, either.
“That’s funny. I could have sworn that you’re mine.”
“I’m not,” You squirm under his touch, unable to push him away. “I haven’t been in months. Wasn’t ever ‘yours’ to begin with. You made sure of that.”
Andrei doesn’t appreciate the call out. The way his face twists is mean and you know whatever he’s going to say will hurt. “Right,” He scoffs, is snide with the way he tones it. “But you’re his?”
He gestures towards Jack, who thankfully is enraptured in a tense game of pool on the other side of the room. You don’t question how he already knows that’s who you’re with.
“I’m not anyone’s, Andrei.”
“Yes you are. You might have thought that because we haven’t seen each other we are just over?” He leans into you, doesn’t let you break eye contact as he gets so close your noses touch. “No. I bet me being so close to you right now has you soaked, and you want to know how I know that?”
Your throat is tight as you swallow. You can’t look away as you move to shake your head, but strange, because it comes out as a nod instead.
“You’re not ‘over me’, malyshka. You’ll never be over me. You love me.”
His grin is feral, his words biting as they cut through you at such a vulnerable level it has you flinching back from his touch immediately.
“Oh, fuck you, Andrei,” You hiss, an angry sheen of tears starting to gloss over your eyes. “Fuck you. I don’t love you anymore—especially not now.”
You move to slip around him but his arm shoots out and stops you in your tracks, leaving you frozen as he stands to tower over you.
“Careful,” He murmurs. “Your boy over there might think something’s wrong. Maybe I should introduce myself, make sure he knows I would never dare hurt you.”
“You don’t have to touch me to hurt me. You did that plenty without having to lift a finger.” You retort. “Now, get out of my way. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“But what if I want to talk to you?” You really hate the height difference between the two of you right now because it takes no effort at all for him to slide a muscular arm around your waist and keep you glued to his side. “Maybe I have missed you.”
“I sincerely doubt that,” You mutter, but he ignores you as he begins to lead you away from the booth you were in before. “My friends will wonder where I am if I’m not at the booth when they get back.”
“Not worried about your boy?” He mocks, noting the way you don’t mention Jack at all. “They won’t have enough time to notice.”
You narrow your eyes at his insinuating words as he stops at the bar, waving down the bartender who comes immediately. “His name is Jack.” You mutter, thinking he can’t hear you. He continues talking, ignoring you, and you’re unable to hear him over the noise so you don’t bother trying to understand what he’s asking for.
Soon enough there’s a drink sliding across the bar counter and Andrei pushes it in front of you. You eye the glass, making note of the fact that the liquid is red. “Vodka cranberry,” He confirms what you’re already thinking.
You flash back to the night you first met and suddenly you want nothing to do with the drink in front of you. “No thanks, I don’t want it.” You say, trying to step away.
You don’t get far, though, because he’s grabbing your wrist and tugging you rather harshly back to him. “Drink it,” He demands, watches your eyes and the way they dart from his face and back to the glass nervously. He sighs, then, like he’s realized something and lets go of your wrist only to land back on your hip. “It’s… Nothing is wrong with it. I didn’t touch it.”
He thinks you’re worried about being drugged? You almost laugh but manage to hold it back, because of course he doesn’t remember that this is the first drink he ever got you.
Your heart beats a little faster as you concede, finally picking up the drink and taking a tiny sip. He waits for your reaction like he’s the one who made it. “It’s good,” You finally say, licking the sweetness from your lips.
Andrei watches you, your eyes, your lips, everything about as time seems to stop and it’s just you and him, like it’s supposed to be.
You haven’t changed all that much, and you can tell he likes that. Your hair is a little shorter, you’re perhaps a little thinner now that you’re not on a college student diet, but you’re still you.
Andrei hasn’t changed either. You’re the same yet so different, and it’s incredibly difficult resisting the temptation to fall back into old habits.
“I’ve missed you,” He admits quietly, and you think it’s sincere this time. You wouldn’t have heard if you weren’t standing so close together.
Your heart thunders in your chest. You might be sweating out of nerves, or maybe it’s just the club. Your hands itch to touch him, and with more alcohol in you thanks to the cranberry you don’t stop Andrei as he succumbs to his urges first and uses one, large hand to cup your cheek.
You shudder as he caresses the skin, his thumb landing on your bottom lip and stroking it lightly. “Andrei,” You breathe, pupils blown wide. “You can’t—we can’t…”
He tilts his head, reminiscent of a dog. “Why not? You are not single?” He has you. He knows you know he does. You aren’t nearly as committed to Jack as much as you’d like yourself to be.
“I can’t do that to him,” You try weakly, already feeling your will bending to the persuasiveness of his touch.
His head lowers, hand remaining on your cheek as he brushes your lips together. You crave it, you realize, and move to fully push your mouths together but he’s pulling back before you get the chance.
“Go to the bathroom.” He says. “I’ll meet you there.”
“Will you?” You ask, the double-meaning clear as you stare at each other, neither willing to break.
Andrei’s face is unreadable. You can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing as his hands land on your hips and he turns you around in the direction of the restrooms. “Go,” He taps your ass, nudging you forward. “I’ll be there.”
You give in this time. You’re aware of the astronomically bad decision you’re making as you cut the line, faking a sick stomach and whispering ‘sorry’ over and over again in your head as the nice ladies let you through.
When you close the door you immediately make your way to the mirror. Your reflection stares back at you, and with mussed hair and smudged lipstick you should be feeling ashamed.
All you feel is anticipation, though. For Andrei’s hands on your body, for his mouth to kiss all the spots he’s missed.
Several minutes go by and the knocks on the bathroom door become more frequent. You think he’s bailed on you - it certainly wouldn’t be the first time - but then you hear his voice outside.
“Da, yes, she’s in there,” A pause. “She’s my girlfriend, she needs me.”
Your breath catches in your throat, turning to face the door as he knocks and can hear his voice more clearly.
Yes, you do need him.
“Kisa,” He says, slightly muffled but you feel the effect he has on you is all the same. “I’m here. Let me in?” He’s almost begging, and you quickly unlock the door as he pushes through.
His smile is mischievous as he closes the door behind him. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” He purposefully raises his voice, shows faux concern and plays it up in case anyone is listening outside.
“You’re so dramatic,” You say, pulling him down to you by the collar of his shirt. Now that you’re alone you don’t bother pretending you don’t want him as much as you do. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
“Yes ma’am,” Andrei relents immediately, closing the distance between the two of you. Both his hands come up to the sides of your head to keep you in place, tilting you in whatever way he likes. His lips are just as soft as you remember, and your bodies move together like they were never apart.
He’s demanding as he begins pushing you back, crowding you against the tiny bathroom wall. His words from outside come back to you suddenly, and you break the kiss to catch a breath as his lips begin a trail across your cheeks. “Girlfriend?”
He doesn’t miss a beat. “I had to get them to let me through somehow.” It’s not what you want to hear but you lose the urge to fight him on it as he reaches your neck and begins sucking little hickeys onto the sensitive skin. Your head falls back with a sigh, uncaring of your hair catching whatever germs might lie on the wall.
You let Andrei do what he wants to your neck for a few moments, then when the urge to taste his lips comes again you grab the back of his hair and pull him up to you. He goes willingly, and you moan into his mouth as he continues to push back against you so hard you can feel his dick through his jeans.
He pulls back much too soon for your taste, and you try to follow but suddenly one of the hands holding your head comes down to wrap around your throat, restricting your breath as he pushes you back. You go to speak, but his other hand is leaving your face to unbutton his jeans one-handed.
You watch, eyes heavy-lidded. “‘Drei?” The weight on your neck is comfortable, so you don’t bother moving as he shoves the rest of his jeans along with his boxers down his thick thighs.
“You want to talk to other guys?” He starts with a bite. “Then you can remember the taste of my cock in your mouth while you do it.”
Your blood pressure skyrockets as the hand on your throat leaves to pull your hair back out of your face, grasps it like a rope, and pushes you down to your knees.
You’re at eye-level with his cock as it bobs in front of you, angry and swollen with beads of pre-cum leaking from the tip. He stares down at you expectantly, has to hold back a groan at your wide-eyed gaze looking so innocent.
As your lips wrap around his tip he’s reminded of the fact that no, you are not innocent. He made you that way. Fucked you like no man ever could. Ruined you for everyone but him. His feelings for you are complicated, but he does understand one thing…
Andrei doesn’t want you, not really. But he hates to think about you with somebody else.
Your tongue is masterful in its work as it swirls around his head, and once you get comfortable you begin going down. His head falls back and this time he doesn’t hold back his noises as your warm, wet mouth envelopes him.
“Missed this mouth,” He grunts as you suck. “Like it much better when you can’t speak.”
It’s insulting and degrading, yet it doesn’t fail to turn you on as you squirm and rub your thighs together in hopes it’ll give you the friction you need.
His hand in your hair soon starts pulling, sliding your mouth forward and back in increasing motions as he gets closer. He’s unabashedly groaning now, and you can see his abs clench when you suck a certain way.
Suddenly, you have the urge to have him fall apart before you. Maybe it’s revenge, wanting to see him lose control for you like you’ve done for him so many times; you tilt your head, using your tongue to stroke the sensitive underside of his cock and that has him jerking into you.
“Fuck,” He hisses. “Good girl. Just like that.” The praise goes directly to your clit, and you whimper as it throbs with no relief.
Despite being apart for almost a year, you still know what every twitch of his body means. You know he’s close because the hand in your hair is gripping you tighter, you can feel the steadily increasing tempo of his heartbeat through his pulsing cock, and his thighs are ever so slightly trembling underneath your hands.
You want him to come in your mouth. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted anything more; your efforts increase and you dig your nails into his skin to hear him hiss and as his thrusts pick up he starts hitting the back of your throat.
Internally thanking your lacking gag reflex, you don’t flinch as he picks up speed, now blatantly using your mouth for his own pleasure with little regard for your comfort. “Shit, baby,” He blurts, desperate. “I’m gonna cum.” You hum in response, the vibrations of the sound finally throwing him over the edge.
Andrei throws his head back for a final time, one long groan emulating from his unfairly sculpted chest as his cum hits the back of your throat. You’ve always loved the taste of him and this time is no different as you suck him deeper, not wanting to waste a drop.
He takes a few moments to collect himself and in that timeframe your ears slowly stop ringing and you come back to reality, finding that your knees ache from being pressed into the floor and there are loud voices coming from outside the bathroom door.
As you move to stand, he too seems to remember where you’re at and uses both arms to pull you the rest of the way until you’re back to standing. You swipe your hair out of your face as his thumb comes to your lip, wiping away a stray drop of his release.
Despite the post-orgasmic clarity, he looks at you with softness and something else swimming in his dark eyes. “You’re still good at that,” He states. “Been sucking anyone else off?” His words are quiet but every bit threatening as you note the possessiveness in his tone.
“No,” You gasp as his thumb pushes its way into your mouth. “Just you. Only you,”
“That’s right,” He says. “Just me. Only me.” Then he’s spinning you around, fingers remaining pressed into your mouth while the other trails up your spine until he’s gripping the back of your neck. “Hear them outside?” He asks.
The ‘them’ he’s referring to, you realize, are the voices outside the bathroom. They’re much louder now, a few knocks mixed in, and you wonder with slight panic how a manager hasn’t come to unlock the door yet.
“They sound very angry, don’t they?” That same hand on the back of your neck strokes your skin, slowly working its way down to your waistband. “So we better make it quick. Hands on the wall, kisa,”
You know the moment he pulls down your pants he’ll find you to be unabashedly soaking. Despite claiming to be in a hurry, he takes his time working open the button of your jeans, grazing the skin above your panties before ever so slowly sliding them down your legs.
“Andrei,” You hiss, impatient. “Hurry up!” As the hand in your mouth retreats, you realize you’re both needy and nervous, an overwhelming combination.
He only laughs. “Someone is needy,” He mocks, holding your hips in place when you try wiggling against him. “Patience.” Leaning into your ear he murmurs this, staying this way as he fully slides your jeans past your knees.
Andrei sneaks his hand in between your thighs, something resembling a growl rumbling from his chest when his fingers find your dripping folds, feeling how you throb for him. “Missed this pussy even more,” He breathes, lubricating his fingers with your slick before slowly circling your clit. Your arms shake from where they hold you up and it’s a battle to keep yourself from collapsing.
“You are just made for me, aren’t you?”
You’re so wet you practically suck him in as he guides his dick to your entrance, and he wastes no preamble as he pushes in. If he thought your mouth was heaven after so much time apart, the feeling of your pussy squeezing him in so deep doesn’t even compare. His hands are digging into your hips as he ruts into you fully with one thrust, panting as your warmth contracts around him.
“Still so fucking tight,” He marvels like he can’t believe it, like it’s a dream you feel even better than when he replays the memories of you on repeat. “You been waiting for me?” He’s not expecting a response as his rhythm picks up, finding a familiar pace for the both of you that has him swearing under his breath and you struggling not to shout your pleasure to the rooftops.
“God,” You cry out when the head of his cock directly hits your g-spot, your hips jerking up so hard you would have fallen if it weren’t for Andrei holding you up. “Fuck, Andrei, fuck, I’m gonna—”
Andrei laughs, a sound that would have been more menacing if he also wasn’t gasping for air. “Already?” He mocks. “I barely touched you, baby,”
You don’t have to touch me, it’s on the tip of your tongue waiting to be blurted out. You don’t have to touch me for me to be on my knees for you. The words are ready, but instead all that comes out is a moan and maybe that’s for the best because he probably wouldn’t respond as well as he does in your dreams.
He’s unaware of your internal dilemma as he leans over you, pressing his clothed chest to your back. “Gotta be fast,” He reminds you, as if you’d forgotten. “You ready?”
“No, I—I can’t,” Because you don’t want this to be over. You don’t want to cum because he’ll follow you right after and then when clarity hits he’ll leave you again and you’ll be back to square one.
“Yes, you can” He croons. “I’ve got you. Not gonna let anything happen to you, I’m right here.” You want to sob as one of his hands leaves your hip and finds the junction of your bodies, gentle fingers prodding your pussy spread-wide around him until he finds your clit and rubs.
Your body is trembling and you can’t tell if you’re trying to move towards him or away, but it doesn’t matter anyways because he has you trapped between the wall and his body and the unrelenting pace of his hips slamming into you.
You have a sudden urge to look him in the eyes before you come undone by his cock and his fingers, so you crane your head to the side and watch him watch you. His hair is damp from sweat at the corners of his hairline, his lips slightly open as he pants and you think you spot him lick his lips when he catches you staring. You go to say something but he swoops down, catching your mouth with his own and promptly shuts you up.
Andrei doesn’t relent in his motions despite the uncomfortable position, not letting you break from his lips by removing his hand at your hip and gripping your face to keep you right here. He owns you, at this point, mind, body, and soul as your lungs beg for breath while your clit throbs beneath his fingers and oh, oh, there it is and you’re gone—
You feel the rough pads of his fingers bullying your clit but you don’t really focus on it until now, how the calloused ridges carelessly sweep over you with no semblance of relief and only when you body abruptly freezes does he part from you, but only slightly, leaving a hair’s width of space between your lips. “Beautiful,” He says, under his breath so quietly you don’t hear him as your bones catch fire and your brain short-circuits.
Heat sears you from the inside-out and you do nothing but endure as Andrei rocks you through it. There’s tears of ecstasy streaming down your face, you’re sure of it now, and you think he’s wiping them from your cheeks but you can’t open your eyes enough to check.
It takes a few minutes, but once your heart stops racing you can hear your favorite voice swearing behind you and only then do you comprehend him still moving inside you, but before you can whine at the sensitivity he’s stilling with a long, drawn-out groan.
You don’t dare speak first, nor are you the first to move. The air around you is stagnant with tension as you rest your head on your arms, breathing deeply to catch your breath. What does this mean? You’re spiraling already and it’s only been minutes since your desperate fuck in this bathroom.
Eventually, Andrei moves first. He slides his softened dick from you with a hiss and you feel his cum trickling out without him there to keep it plugged in. Wrinkling your nose at the feeling of having to walk around with wet inner thighs now, you slowly stand up as his hands fall from your body. You slide your panties and jeans back up the rest of your legs, ignoring the uncomfortable sensitivity of being covered once again.
Neither of you speaks a word. You want to cry suddenly, and this time not from pleasure. “What did we just do?” You manage to choke out, your voice so hoarse you have to clear it. He’s clearly planning on just leaving without a word but you’re not going to let him.
You stare at him expectantly. He’s turned around so all you have in your view is his slide profile, clearly struggling with what to say as his jaw clenches tightly.
“Nothing,” He finally says, and he might as well just fucking stab you in the back. “We did nothing. You’re going to go back out there and pretend nothing happened because it didn’t.”
Oh, he makes you so angry. You can’t believe you’d forgotten that. “You’re serious?” You know he is but you don’t want to believe it.
Andrei meets your glassy eyes and you wish you could read him like he so easily can read you. He looks as conflicted as the day you walked out of his house for the last time, like he has so many words to say but refuses to let them fall from his lips. Just like then, you know this rendezvous means more to him than just a meaningless hookup.
If only he’d admit it…
He exhales a shaky breath as another loud knock disturbs you. “We need to go.” He dodges your question just like he dodges every issue in his life, especially in regards to you. “Come on, kisa.”
“You can’t just call me that, after—after this,” You hiss as he grabs your arm and pulls you towards the door. You panic on the inside as he unlocks it because once you leave this dirty sanctuary you know your problems will only get worse.
Strange, how Andrei manages to make everything worse despite making you feel so good.
As if your emotions don’t matter to him (they really don’t), he flashes you a grin as he drags you behind him, past the angry horde of people who, now that you think about it, definitely know you were fucking. “I know you like it.” Spoken so simply, so plain, you hate that he’s right.
You’ll always like it. Always love him. For as long as you’re hung up over him it will always come back to bite you in the ass and he knows this too.
It’s why, without shame, his arm is curled possessively around your waist as he leads you through the crowd of people. Your friends, Jack, don’t even cross your mind as he does so.
“Go find your friends,” He soon leans down to whisper in your ear. “Then find Jack. Tell him you felt sick and had to use the bathroom.”
“What if I don’t want to?” You snap, purposefully antagonizing him.
Andrei merely raises a brow at you. “You can always stay with me, with my cum dripping down your legs, and explain to everyone how you missed me so much you couldn’t stay away.”
You want to hit him. You almost do, but he continues before you actually go through with it.
“I wonder what Jack would say?” Of course he was listening to you earlier. He ignored you then, of course, but he listened.
And yeah, okay, you get it. Not a good idea to let everyone you know see you with him. He doesn’t want his friends to see him with you, either.
“Trying to get rid of me?” You ask, intending to sound sarcastic but it comes off as more insecure than you wanted it to.
You know he is, but you can’t help but ask for confirmation. Maybe it would help you move on to hear how little he actually cares for you.
“I don’t think I could get rid of you if I tried,” He replies. You can’t tell if he’s serious or not. “You’ll never get rid of me though.”
He’s right, again. You hate so much that he is because you both know you’ll be crawling back the moment he calls.
You want to cry again as his arm leaves your waist, the absence of his heat leaving you shivering.
Andrei looks at you for a long time, just appraising. He tilts his head like he doesn’t know what to think, but then he spots something behind you and starts backing up.
“I will see you again someday, kisa.” He winks at you, and then he’s gone.
Someone behind you taps your shoulder while speaking into your ear, a voice you recognize as one of the girls you came with. You should probably focus, banish Andrei from your mind, but you don’t.
You strain your neck, watching for him through the crowd. He’s back at the bar with his friends, his teammates you once knew.
He’s laughing at something one of them said. Like he wasn’t just with you, fucking you against the bathroom walls.
“Are you okay?” Your friend behind you asks, the one thing from her you do catch.
“Yeah,” You say, swallowing despite the dryness in your throat. Andrei is talking to more people now, girls that have approached him, you notice. “I’m fine.”
He looks gorgeous under the lights. You catch his brilliant smile, the glimmer of his eyes, and those lips you can never get enough of. You soon lose sight of him amidst the throng of people, but his fleeting allure forever lingers...
Like a steadfast reminder, a haunting echo of what can never be.
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A/N: Well, that was fun. I hurt my own feelings writing this but it was worth it. I hope you guys enjoyed! Please remember to reblog & comment!!
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cinnamonest · 16 hours
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May I present to you... innocent playgirl reader x modern au incel scara??
Like reader is just a sweet gal that thinks this boy who she's in a project with is pretty and despite his weird and creepy behaviour, it's a good thing she's trying to make a move, because y'know! it's actually women's fault that men get so frustrated and depressed since they never give the short guys a chance! Only go for the top 1% and all that.
Unfortunately after scara naps her, noncons the absolute, living daylights out of her, and continues to terrorize her ass does she realize that being nice and sweet to the degenerate, sexist incel in hopes of fixing him wasn't the brightest idea 😔
(If you can't tell I love the idea of kind n sweet MC who doesn't know any better getting her shit wrecked for no good reason because incel scara is just that much of an asshole)
Ohhhh my God bless you for this
Precisely, it’s so unfair. It’s just extra inches of leg bone, it means nothing. And yet day in, day out, the oppressed class (sub-6-foot males) have to deal with unjust discrimination. All because you have the most superficial desires and can’t compromise on such a silly thing. No, you’d rather whore around with some guy that will just use you and cheat on you because your dumb girl brain seeks that out like every other. And in spite of being smarter and better than the neanderthals you choose to date, which should entitle him to pussy, he’s left with nothing but porn and his hand. The world is an unjust place.
He’s pessimistic as all hell, so he can’t take any kindness or attempts at getting closer from you at face value, there has to be an ulterior motive.
You’re only pleasant to him when you talk to him because you want something. You probably expect him to do work for you, or help you cheat on tests for you or fork over money. You think he’s the sort of loser that will salivate over any girl that gives him a shred of attention, don’t you. That he’ll run himself ragged doing whatever for you just to get your approval. Well. You’re not going to get that.
It goes along with this greater idea of you he’s crafted in his head, one that fits a similarly pessimistic image. It doesn’t matter how “innocent” you are, literally anything you say or do, he’s projecting this stereotype of a secretly not-so-innocent, ultra-promiscuous college girl onto you and using it as both justification for his disdain and as a means of rationalize not leaping at this rare chance for female interaction — it’s not that he’s too afraid of rejection, it’s just that he knows that talking to you is a waste of time anyway, you undoubtedly have guys lined up you're fucking on a regular basis.
Besides, even if he tried, you’re far too dull-brained, so any conversations you’re capable of aren’t going to be stimulating anyway. You’re in college, of course you’ve spent all this time racking up a body count because God knows girls only use college as a means to get dicked all the time, they don’t actually care for academics in any way.
And poor you, you're completely oblivious to his bitter seething. You just think he's just quiet. And surely he doesn’t come off as rude and cold on purpose, no, you tell yourself that he probably just is one of those guys that is naturally like that, it’s not malicious.
But then you have to start going out of your way to be actively nice. Trying to make conversation and say nice things — you must think he’s stupid, that he doesn’t know that it’s actually just fake niceness so you can lure him in and get him to say something you can then mock him for in that faux-sweet tone of yours. In the exact opposite of your assumptions on him, he assumes malice in everything you do and say. He won’t give you the satisfaction of giving you leverage, so, he stays quiet, gives you one-word answers and shrugs.
What plans do you have for the weekend?, you say, in your attempts to make conversation. Ugh.
Not only are you trying to jab at him by reminding him that he has no plans other than staying inside and wallowing, but clearly you do have plans, undoubtedly ones that end with you stumbling home in a walk-of-shame on a Sunday morning.
And the nicer you get, the more you irritate him. What makes you think you can just be like that? All smiley and sunshine-like, and for what? To mock him? Acting innocent and sweet as if you don't know what kind of power you inherently hold just by having a hole between your legs, as if you're not actively abusing that power when you're clearly trying to get him to be attracted to you.
Each and every class period, he ends up so infuriated by the few words you exchange that the only way he can even stay sane is by immediately going back to his apartment after class and releasing all the pent up frustrations via exceptionally violent porn. He's got a few specifics pages bookmarked now, girls that look just like you getting slapped around and choked and manhandled and skull-fucked and gaped… but it's just not satisfying enough, there's still this lingering irritation, a skin-crawling malice that won't go away.
It's not good enough to imagine. If anything, the post-orgasmic clarity just makes the whole thing feel pathetic — it's not really you, you get to be all happy and safe and sound when it should be you, you should be the one being brutalized and put in your place, you deserve it for being so damn nice. So pleasant and upbeat and kind and what gives you the right?
In the end, once the burning fury becomes too much and no one else is going to do it, the only option is to take matters into his own hands…
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neurolady · 1 day
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I Forgive You!
I've seen a million and one different takes on Aziraphale's "I forgive you" in the Final 15. Most peoples initial knee jerk reactions of what the fuck does Crowley need forgiving for, to forgiving Crowley for an unconsented kiss, to (once folk have calmed down and started to see Aziraphale really has no choice but to go back to Heaven) forgiving Crowley for not trusting him. What I haven't seen is the suggestion that it actually has nothing to do with forgiveness at all!
When he says, "May God forgive you" or "May you be forgiven," it's always after Crowley does something Aziraphale believes is out of character or wrong. In Uz Crowley saying he wants to kill Job's children and at the bandstand after his ourburst at God (I'm missing one, I'm sure). I think in these instances he is genuinely saying I hope you're forgiven for what you just did.
On the two occasions, he uses, "I forgive you," Crowley is not acting out of character at all, and neither is he wrong. Aziraphale knows this! The two scenes are completely parallel in s1ep4 by the car when Crowley pulls over to apologise and, of course, in s2 the Final 15.
Crowley wants to talk about them and is ALL in for them to be together - literally, both scenes he basically begs Aziraphale run off together.
Aziraphale can't get past his cognitive dissonance and insists Heaven is the answer. Obviously, everything is ramped up 1000 in the Final 15, but even in s1, you can see Aziraphale's turmoil at being asked to choose Crowley or Heaven.
This is where I think "I forgive you" has nothing to do with Aziraphale offering forgiveness to Crowley. In both scenes, Crowley pushes Aziraphale's attachment to Heaven even further. In s1, he keeps it about Aziraphale, "...how can someone so smart be so stupid!" In s2, no such restraint, so you know just "No Nightingale's" and THE Kiss!! The effect is the same, Aziraphale is shook (obviously just a teeny-weeny bit more in s2), he's retreating into himself, and his reflex is "I forgive you". He's a being of forgiveness it's an instinct. He also knows - again probably more out of instinct than any deliberate intention - that Crowley will immediately recoil from any attempts at forgiveness, which gives him space to process. So I think "I forgive you", is actually Aziraphale's shield that he throws up between himself and Crowley when his love for Heaven (or more for being an Angel) is in direct conflict with his love for Crowley. He is pushing Crowley away because in the moment, he can't cope with the choice he has to make, and it works both times, and he instantly regrets it both times!
On the plus side, if you condense all the shenanigans that happen after the "car argument" in s1. Crowley instantly forgives Aziraphale for pushing him away, as soon as Aziraphale has a plan he goes to Crowley, he chooses Crowley and Earth without hesitation when the shit is really about to hit the fan and they get their happily until Gabrielle shows up naked at the bookshop a few years later after!
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dreamerwitches · 20 hours
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Right! Off we go off we go! Andreana and Kako. Yeah I'm still torn on this. I just think the original doppel worked really well and this one just... ruined it..? I don't think they needed to change the doppel aspects and in doing so it made it look worse. The dual blades looks too busy and kinda dumb and why is her hand up there?? I get she's reckless so she might have cut it off but still... I'm unsure about the legs either. Her whole body is a mishmash of colours and her legs are suddenly all one colour? Dunno... I'd give her a bigger book skirt, highlight the bookmarks more (yes I know the legs are probably bookmarks but moreso as a skirt) and probably give her legs more like her arms.
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Oh dear Maura... why did they choose the curtain one..? Maura and Nanaka. It's... it's boring, anyone with eyes can see it's boring. I just feel like the witch takes away from everything interesting about the original. My favourite part is how dark Nanaka's inclusion is and of course, that's absent here. And even the upside down curtain was at least a little interesting but now it's just curtains hanging the regular ol' way. I feel like this witch would be way way better animated instead of just sitting there curtain-ly. They should've chosen someone else with a better doppel...
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Meiyui and Delanna. Now I know why she's in a crib, she's just straight up babyish and sleep themed. I think she's fine, nothing special. The crib is fun and creepy. I kinda wish the mouths were more creepy but I guess that's just her style :T
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Heidesommer and Konomi... ehhhhh this is super boring... the doppel is more fun... witch is just a mound, it looks like a pile of junk. I don't have much to say about it... doppel is better
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Cendrillon and Rena. Now. I think the full witch is beautiful. The colours are so pretty, the faces are horrifying and the bird detailing is lovely. But... is it the doppel..? N-Not for me... Like, I just feel the bird theming comes out of NOWHERE. Her theme is Cinderella, where did this come from?! (actually do birds peck out the eyes of the ugly stepsisters or something in the original? Maybe, that would be a bit better) And the three legs don't do it for me. I felt the one leg to highlight the missing glass slipper works well. And the hair pieces being on the side of her body doesn't sit right with me. Neither does the tail(?) piece, looks stuck on like they were like 'oh, fuck, we forgot the fan part!' BUT. It is a beautiful witch. Do I see this doppel coming from it if it was the other way around? No Also here I included Cendrillon's brief anime appearance and it lines up pretty well! I think in the anime one the body looks more lumpy, the beak isn't as big and its missing the wings.
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Zola and Kaede. Meh, disappointed. Why is she less detailed than the doppel??? But I suppose we already kinda saw what she was gonna look like anyway, I should have prepared myself... From the anime, my favourite part was her body and it just feels kinda hard to see here, like, show me those RIBS! I wanna see them! And those big ol' arms! But they're so hidden by the background and her body mehh. Plus I think the face of the doppel is weird and creepy and that's just not there in the final... Also don't like how the horns(?) just completely differ from the doppels style. They kinda look like veins but I dunno if I like them.
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Also special guest... my own full witch interpretation from (i think) last years witchtober. I prefer mine thank youuu. But if I redid the witch I'd give her the doppel face, I believe I was basing mine off the anime image at the time
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Let's finish on a good one! Momoko and Elfriede! Another that's super pretty, I have few complaints. The head is horrifying and I love it and the dress is still super pretty. Only gripe is I prefer the black lace to the gold gems. My biggest gripe is the fat, bloated hand at the bottom. Why..? What was wrong with the doppel's ones? I think such a slim and elegant needed something better than a hand that looks like a balloon dog. If the fingers were longer I think it would have worked better. And the floating fingies look a little dumb but thats minor
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pagodazz · 2 days
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your post abt sexualizing the emh characters and actors was based but lets be real we all skipped the princeton tapes anyway
Im going to be so upfront rn. and don't take any offense I'm not mad or anything but I'm definitely gonna get heated HELP.
I listen to the Princeton tapes almost everyday, I revisit the transcripts often when I want easy access to the dialogue. The Princeton tapes might actually be my favorite part of the everymanHYBRID lore. It's so important to everything you need to know for the whole series and it helps explain so much, especially when it comes to vinnie as character.
the Princeton tapes have so much to offer and I think it's such a shame that this fandom chooses to ignore all the effort that the everymanHYBRID guys put into this series. The Princeton tapes has never failed to make me emotional HELP. it's beautiful shit. So I'm so sorry anon I literally cannot agree with this at all because the Princeton tapes are my absolute everything. I genuinely relate to Princeton Vinnie (& also Roger) more than I might relate to anyone on the channel. They're so real, and I wish more than anything they were more than tapes but at the same time I love it so much it's so perfect.
Also while during my most recent rewatch I've realized that in the series HABIT himself will use quote's and shit that Princeton Vinnie himself has said.
This one always sticks out to me, because it feels like habit pulled those words RIGHT out of Vinnies mouth only to in turn use them on him. Of course the Lexi video predates when the tapes came out, but canonically the tapes happened WAYYYYY before this, considering it takes place in the late 80s.
this goes with my idea that HABIT himself has probably had access to those tapes (atleast at some point) and he did he's research on Mr everyman here. but that one is just my personal opinion and I don't expect people to agree.
While people think that the Princeton tapes are daunting and take too long, they're literally shorter than emh as a whole series if ur watching the right shit.
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these videos are basically the full in depth EMH lore and it has videos in it that long since been deleted.
If you're getting into everymanHYBRID and you're not getting into all the lore and then you're gonna go an act like you know everything it's genuinely so??? because you're literally missing out on KEY information.
like did you guys know habit IS in the tapes 😱😱⁉️⁉️⁉️ did you WATCH finding fairmount all the way through????
did you know Evan and Jeff are there ⁉️⁉️⁉️
ALSO ??? PATRICK FROM MLANDERSEN0?????? DUDE???? HES IN THERE. THE RAKE FUCKING TALKS TO VINNIE IN THERE.
did you know that EVEN VINNIES DEAD FUCKING GIRLFRIEND LEXI IS THERE. IT HAS SO MUCH INFO. YOU LEARN WAY MORE SHIT ABOUT FAIRMOUNT AND THE MINETOWN FOUR IN IT. IM GENUINELY SO AT A LOSS RN. HELP IM TOO AUTISTIC FOR THIS ASK. BECAUSE IN NO WORLD WOULD I EVER DREAM OF SKIPPING THE TAPES.
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nepenthean-sleep · 2 days
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Hey hey! For the character meme Gideon!
hello thanks for the ask :)
favorite thing about them i love how she speaks. someone said once that everything she says is like the wrong option in a video game dialogue choice list. all of tamsyn's characters have incredible dialogue but gideon is so goddamn funny especially. like it wraps around from being cringe to being funny again. her narration is excellent.
least favorite thing about them i'm gonna say what i said for harrow, everything about her makes sense for her character and her role in the story.
favorite line given the first answer here you can imagine this is extremely difficult for me. however. i'm going to go with a decidedly unfunny one from chapter 25 of ntn because it makes me feel insane.
Nona had never seen anyone so sad in her whole short life. It made her nearly afraid to die. “Nobody locks me up anywhere,” said Kiriona.
she says!!! while locked in her corpse by her dad!! after being locked in harrow's brain for a year by harrow!! after being locked in drearburh for 18 years by the ninth!! ohhhhhhh my god
brOTP sorry i'm going with gideon and ianthe because they hate each other and i just find that endlessly amusing
OTP griddlehark sweep
nOTP don't really have one, just don't like when she's shipped with men
random headcanon after she goes to canaan house she starts getting freckles because it's her first time in sunlight
unpopular opinion idk i don't really see people talking about this much but like she's an asshole. she has a mean-spirited streak. and like yeah i guess if your opponent in the cartoonishly evil contest is harrow it's gonna make gideon look like a much better person but like. idk everyone was shocked by her being a dick in ntn but it's not really that different from how she was before?
also i really really hate the fandom himboification of her turning her into a one-dimensional horny fuckboi vehicle for harrow to have 36 orgasms or whatever. or the opposite where they make her a loyal idiot golden retriever. butches often have personalities that are not either of these things, actually!
song i associate with them it is 100% absolutely from hell with love and sweet true lies, both by beast in black. not only do they sound like songs i think gideon would listen to, like, the lyrics are so.
Killed my light To serve your delight Now see me ripped apart Ripped apart
Another voiceless cry Another hopeless try I wish you'd open your wings and take me inside From hell with love I write Confess my passion crime Cause to my heart, soul and mind, you are kryptonite Oh babe
like cmon.
Baby, baby tell me more of your lies Say you want me for a lifetime I believe you even when I know it's a lie Love's so blind Sweet true lies
AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! thank you @oceanwrath for introducing me to these songs with your tlt art.
favorite picture of them again i can't choose just one there's so much good art in this fandom but my favorites are this FUCKING STUNNING kiriona piece by @nil-elk and this amazing one by @battletailors and this incredible piece by @notedchampagne and this one by @may12324 and this one by oceanwrath and listen ok i just really really like gideon nav 😭
thanks for the ask!
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MORE APOCALYPSE AU RAMBLES !!! Please 🥺 I am literally so in love with this au idea, I just know it’s going to be lovely
I AM LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING THE FIRST CHAPTER ALREADY LOL
I shall mention some things that are going to be written in the first chapter as well as some new rambles (along with some of what i have alrdy written down under the cut :3)
First off, Regulus doesn't even remember his own name. He's super chill for the first like 1k words despite being surrounded by dead bodies and blood and waking up in a surgery room.
This is def going to be rated E. not even for violence i also plan to add some little steamy bits later teehee
Harry's last name? Fuck! Who knows! Not Regulus that's for sure!
Also Regulus is convinced that Harry isn't his kid due to how much Harry looks like James. (theres some reg in there too, Regulus just doesn't know what he looks like beyond having pale skin)
Harry is going to be causing problems right from the bat. He's a screamer. Loud baby he is.
Also sorry to disappoint but jegulus and the Black Brothers don't meet (or well... find each other) for a WHILE. I have people to kill off before hand.
But! Sirius and James (Peter is there too guys dw) are together being as codependent as ever (its actually so much worse)!
Regulus on the other hand starts out with nothing but a baby yall, he's kind of fucked.
anyway snippet!!!:
He stands, feet squishing against the tile as he walks up to the screaming infant. As soon as his face comes into view for the baby, it settles down. He watches it, tilting his head as it reaches up to him with wet eyes. Their skin is dark, darker than his own for sure, already has a head of hair with small curls already growing in. Grey eyes stare back at him, they're slightly too big for the baby's face he notes. There's a scar too, a staggering line branching out into other, smaller, lines. It's still slightly puffy, new. He pulls his eyes away from the baby's face when it raises their arms, still pouting and reaching out for him.
He takes a step back, ignoring the whine it brings out from the infant. It doesn't look like his baby. He looks down at his hands, staring at the pale skin that stretches across the bone and presses his lips together. It doesn't seem like his baby at all, why should he choose to care for it? He begins to take several steps back, going to continue looking around the room when the baby starts to wail again now that it can't see him. He looks to the crib and his eyes catch on the name on the side of the crib. It's slightly blood splattered, just like the metal of the crib itself, but it's there in big black ink. Harry J. Po- the blood covers everything else but something in the back of his mind twinges. Like a forgotten memory trying to push to the surface. It aches slightly, and the feeling i for nothing in the end as no memory comes to mind. He frowns, but pushes the thought away for later.
He steps back up to the baby and the wailing quiets down to sniffles. His frown deepens but he finally steps up to take the infant into his arms. A small grunt escapes from the back of his throat unbidden as he raises the baby, Harry, up. They're heavier then he first thought, though a big baby is a healthy one he supposes.
He takes a step back unconsciously, bare foot sliding for a second before he rights himself. He doesn't remember how he knows that. He can't remember if it's a saying or a general fact and that thought starts to eat at him. He rests Harry against his shoulder and the baby doesn't hesitate before burrowing his face in the crook of his neck.
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fantasyandshit · 1 day
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The tailor
Type: one shot
Pairing: Azriel x male reader
Based off of this request
I hope this is ok for my first male reader! I hope to do this justice and hope this lives up to your hopes @vampyama !
I sit at the table at Rita’s, talking and laughing with Mor, Cassian, Rhysand, and Feyre when I hear the door open and the heavy set footsteps I had come to recognize anywhere. My head swivels around, eyes meeting Azriel’s- cauldron his eyes are beautiful. I can’t help but let mine trail down his body, he’d changed from whatever he was wearing on his mission, into a loose fitting black shirt that showed part of husky perfect chest, and a pair of black slacks, hugging his strong, beautiful, enticing thighs oh so perfectly.
“Azriel!” I jump up and run to hug the male, my family chuckling at my antics. I nuzzle into my mates chest, a purr of sorts leaving me. I can feel Azriel pat my head softly rubbing. “I missed you my mate.” I look up slightly, my chin sitting on his chest.
“I missed you to love.”
We love to sit at the table, hands clasped together, I can hear Cassian muttered something about ‘Lover boys.’ But happily ignore him, instead snuggling into my mates shoulder as he orders us some drinks. As we sit and talk, I think back to when I met my mate.
———
I was the tailor for the high lord and his inner circle. “Yn! Alright man, I’ll be honest. I know it’s short notice but I’ll pay double for the rush. We need dresses for all the girls and suits for the three of us,” he looks to the other males with him- I stare at the one with blue gems. Beautiful, that’s the only way to describe him. “Can you make it work?”
I take a moment to think, it’s the highlord- I have to say yes and as long as I close up till starfall I should be able to make it work. “I think I can do that. I’ll just need to take you all back for measurement updates. Although I’m already going to have to close shop so you’ll have to choose from the fabrics I have with me, I can’t import anything.” I survey the group, my eyes once again catching the beautiful male- his eyes already on mine- shit. I look away quickly as the high lord speaks.
“That is perfectly fine. Thank you so much. You will be well compensated I promise.”
“It’s my pleasure, now do you want to come back to the fitting room?” He nods, and the rest of his group follow me back to a large room with a circle platform in front of a mirror and chairs around the room. “Sir wherever, whoever wants to go first may step on the plat form now.” I gather my supplies, moving forward to take Cassian- as I’d heard’s measurements. I write his name on my notepad before getting to work, once I’m done I turn to face him. “So, can I ask what you’re looking for in this?” I write everything he says down, sketching an idea before showing him.
He smiles and nods in approval. “That’s exactly what I pictured. Thanks.” I nod, slowly making my way through the whole group, allowing them to go look at fabrics.
Lastly- Azriel I had learned, the beautiful man from earlier, steps on the plat form. I get some measurements, as I move to get his wing span, I accidentally hit one of the larger membranes.
He moaned.
He fucking moaned.
I apologize over and over, Azriel shushing me, assuring me they are just sensitive. Finally, he turns around, grabbing my arms. We make eye contact and I gasp- he does too.
“Mate.” He whispers, tears spring to my eyes- what if he doesn’t want me? He’s probably disappointed. He probably wanted some beautiful woman. He’s not gay. He can’t be right? My thoughts are stopped by his lips crashing to mine. He grabs my hips, dragging them to his, the tent forming in my pants meeting his own. Neither of us make the connection that his friends are still hear.
———
“Yn? You still there love?” I shake me head, blinking. I had spaced out, Azriel’s thumb rubs my arm soothingly.
“Oh? Yeah- yeah. Sorry love, I just spaced out.” I lean up, giving him a peck on the lips. He nods, going back to his conversation as I just marvel at his beauty.
He turns back to me, eyebrows furrowing, “Are you ok love?” It’s a whisper in my ear.
“Yeah. You’re just so pretty.” I wouldn’t be surprised if there were hearts in my eyes as I respond. He chuckles before speaking again, still a whisper. “You wanna go for a walk.”
I grin, I lived walking through Velaris with my mate, showing him off like he deserved. I nod my head vigorously, practically bouncing in my seat. “Everyone, we’re gonna head out ok.”
Everyone says some variation of ok as we leave the table, as we are walking out, I hear Cassian call, “Be careful kids- wear protection.” I laugh slightly at his antics as we leave to the street.
I swing our hands, skipping and twirling with Azriels shadows down the street, him walking behind, smiling fondly. An idea coming to mind, I dash ahead, giggling as I make it to a field of flowers. I pick a few, weaving them together insanely fast thanks to the help of my mates shadows. Finally, I finish his crown, turning back to him and placing it on his head. He smiles with me, pulling me into a loving kiss. “I love you my mate.”
“I love you too.”
—————
Okkk idk if that was what you wanted- I’m praying I did ok. Again- it’s my first time doing a male reader so I hope it’s ok.
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dent-de-leon · 12 hours
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TALESIN'S INITIAL PITCH FOR LEO AMICUS!!
Taliesin: "I am playing with the notion of a character named Leonard--uh, Leo--Amicus. Middle name, last name--redacted. A socialite...a socialite in exile. Just these days, fixer, friend to whoever needs a friend. Enemy to whoever needs an enemy. How I ended up with Candela is, I come from a very rich family. We were living in the Eaves. I just had very little I needed to do with my life--other than spend money. Very little responsibility. And one of the wonderful things we used to get up to, was kind of a unsavory thrills and chills of the wealthy and the well-to-do and the interesting. Where we would throw parties--and interesting themes, just...anywhere from crazy swinging on the chandeliers, to whatever the version of unbelievable wealth's costume parties, et cetera. Any theme, any weirdness--"
"Just, disturbing decadence. The decadence of boredom. One of the evenings that I was supposed to have this--you know, four times a year club--I was supposed to be putting it together. I thought it would be fun to have a kind of faux seance, just sort of bring the vibe of the occult and the beyond to the party. Just have kind of that...kind of a fun, dark spiritualist vibe. The war was over--the vibe was everywhere. Didn't know that the object and the people involved were...uh...real! And things went. Very very wrong. And people died. It was...very bad."
"The very rich family that I had covered it the fuck up. And paid off every bribe. Made everything go away. In return, I was told to leave--to lose my last name, never speak of the family again, and just live off the--very reasonable to most people--amount of money I was given to just live my life away. And never make noise again...Paid off and put into exile--which I have done. Especially since, almost every person who died at that party, was the direct relation of a very powerful, influential person--which Candela has been so kind to keep under the table for me."
"In return, I have given them access to the lovely collection of things--many of which I did not know were that interesting--that I had collected over the years. They get to pick through my apartment whenever they choose. And I in turn, I still know people, I still talk to people. Especially unscrupulous people. And I know things about people that shouldn't be...made public--so just, I've got a little bit of everything, and I am very bored."
"I have to kind of, I have to keep myself quiet. But I'm a little older, a little wiser, and good at, you know, paying attention now...[I keep going back to Candela out of] a mix of boredom--which is a very big one. They put in the work to keep me off the radar now that my family is fucking done. So. If any of the rich and important families found out that I was the one who caused their child, or grandchild, or otherwise--to be psychically incinerated into a lunatic who is now locked in an asylum with half a face, or whatever happened to them--I would be dead. So they keep me safe, and in return I do work for them, and I'm happy to do it. And I'm malleable for, as always--whatever anybody needs."
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fuck it if i can’t have him
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Pairing: Sami/Jey Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,514
how dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded? Cause fuck it I was in love...
Part 2 in a series I'm calling "i love you (it's ruining my life)" Read part 1 here or this part can stand alone!
AO3 Link
Set between Elimination Chamber 2023 and Wrestlemania 2023
tag squad: @jeysbvck @harmshake @southerngirl41 @imabillyami @elementaldoughnut12 and @feelschicken
this fic is still running with inspo from @motherknuckers much appreciated!!
---
The sound of weights hitting the floor echos in the empty hotel gym and Jey pants with exertion, sweat dripping down his face.
It’s late, way later than he should be awake- they have a flight early tomorrow morning and his brothers won’t be kind in waking him up in a few hours. But he just couldn’t fall asleep, finally giving up and heading down to the gym. It’s technically not supposed to be open this late, but Paul has a way of working these requests into their hotel reservations, just in case.
The last few weeks have been tense after his disappearing act after the Royal Rumble. He was welcomed back after proving his loyalty by kicking Sami, but things haven’t been the same. Maybe the problem is him, the discomfort he feels within himself projected onto his cousin and brothers, but the vibes have been different.
When he thinks about everything that’s happened since the beginning of the year, looking at everything that’s gone wrong and how it all fell apart.
How close he and Sami had been to… something. Something that scared and excited him in equal measure.
He’d made his choices, sure. That superkick at the end of Raw was as clear a message as he could send. How could he have done anything else? Roman was going to take it out on Jimmy if he didn’t come back, hell he could have taken it out on Solo if he wanted to. The thought of his brothers suffering on his behalf is unbearable to him.
But at the same time, losing Sami has hurt more than he cares to acknowledge most days. He feels like he’s lost a limb, on unequal footing as he goes about his days. It’s too quiet without his constant presence, there are times he sees something funny on his phone and turns to show Sami but he’s just not there.
It reminds him of how he felt as a child when he and Jimmy were separated, the bone deep wrong that they had to learn to get over as they got older and had separate lives.
Jey wipes away the sweat from his face and tries to breathe, slow and steady like he’s been practicing.
It’s not fair. Nothing about his life has been fair since Roman established dominance in his life, you’d think he’d be used to it by now. But something about this last indignity, he just can’t seem to get over it.
Why couldn’t Roman just accept Sami into the fold? Hadn’t he proved himself over and over again over months, he’d beat Kevin for them at Wargames for them, that had been enough for him. Why did Roman have to push it to such extremes?
Sami choosing Kevin over him, over the family, over Roman. It hurt like hell, but Jey could understand that there wasn’t another choice for Sami to make. Sami wouldn’t be Sami if he had chosen to batter a tied up Kevin Owens. That innate goodness that permeated his soul, the light that made him put up with months of abuse from Jey, keeping the faith on whatever it was he saw in him.
Jey’s not sure what that even was anymore. He had no problem beating up Kevin Owens or anyone else Roman pointed at, whether they deserved it or not. Anything resembling a sense of justice had been beaten out of him by the Tribal Chief ages ago.
He couldn’t do it to Sami. Not at the Rumble. Not at Elimination Chamber. Not until it was clear that Roman would force him to make an impossible choice between his brother and Sami. The man he…
He picks up a barbell, starts a set of reps to keep his mind from the obvious ending of that sentence. The feelings that just rub salt into his wounds, adding insult to injury.
Not that it matters now. Even if Sami had thought of him like that, it hadn’t been enough for him to choose to stay, even if Jey had been brave and selfish enough to ask that of him, if there had even been a chance. Roman took that away from them both.
He finishes a set, and the song playing in his earbuds ends, starting another track thats both familiar and new. Jey fishes his phone out of his pocket and checks the screen, confirming his suspicion.
It’s a new song by an artist he and Sami had bonded over, they’d talked about it when it had been teased on twitter, excited about it. He’d completely forgotten in all the turmoil. It feels like a knife in the heart now.
However, he doesn’t stop himself from hitting share and copying the link into a new message to Sami and hitting send before he can even think about it.
It’s late as hell, no way Sami’s going to see that message until the morning. And what’s he supposed to say now? After the way he attacked Sami the last time they saw each other, he can’t exactly just act like nothing happened.
He stares at the screen, hovering his thumbs over the empty message field. Can’t say nothing either. Fuck.
thought you’d wanna see it- sent 2:30am
Somehow that sounds worse. Desperate. Clingy.
Jey swaps back to his spotify feed and changes the song before shoving his phone back in his pocket.
Maybe it’d be better if he never met Sami at all. Or at least if Sami had never attempted to join his family. He’d known Sami for a long time now that he thinks about it, he’d been around backstage for years, and they’d done spots together over the years here and there. Truthfully he hadn’t payed him much mind for most of that time.
It wasn’t until he approached Roman that it all started. The disgust he felt watching someone beg for the opportunity he’d been beaten into. Sure he could see the appeal of trying to get into the most decorated faction in WWE, but could it really be worth it? Even with the belts on his shoulders he wasn’t sure.
At least before then Jey didn’t have this foolish hope, didn’t know how it felt to be safe and secure with his family and have someone to commiserate with, some of that burden off of his shoulders. They’d been so damn happy. Or at least he had been. Maybe Sami had deceived him. Maybe-
The burn in his forearm alerts him that he’s pushed himself too far, setting down the weight and groaning.
Between the aching twinge in his arm and the far deeper ache in his chest, he finds his eyes stinging with tears.
“Fuck- FUCK!” He screams, the sound echoing around him.
How is this the right answer? Feeling miserable, unable to sleep, down bad and crying at the gym over Sami fucking Zayn.
He lays back on the weight bench, stares up at the ceiling and just lets all the shit he’s been pushing down wash over him. Tears flow freely down the sides of his face, anger at Roman, jealousy over Sami picking Kevin fucking Owens, disappointment in himself at letting it get this bad, that bitter feeling wishing he could change the course of the last 3 months so he could just be happy with Sami again.
Fuck.
Fuck it, he was in love with him. He was in love with that ginger idiot. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it now.
He sighs out his breath, letting his eyes close for just a moment. Something about admitting it to himself releases the ball of tension in his chest, and the late hour begins catching up with him, his eyes growing heavy.
He presses his thumbs against his eyes, rubbing them and wiping the lingering tears away.
Jey wipes down the bench efficiently, tossing his stuff back in his gym bag before heading out and back up to his room. He’s in a room by himself tonight, which Paul tried to sell to them as a treat but it feels more like a punishment.
The door shuts behind him, disturbing the quiet of the early morning. He thinks about getting a shower, but honestly he’s too tired for that. He’ll take care of it in the morning before the flight.
He rolls into bed, phone in hand, and against his better judgement opens his messages again. There’s no reply, unsurprisingly, but then he sees it.
A tiny “Seen 2:34am" underneath the bubble.
Sami’s…. awake? Or was anyway. The top of his phone reads just after 3 am now.
Maybe…. just maybe…
Jey worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he feverishly types a message, giving it one quick look over before hitting send. After all, what more does he have to lose?
He lets the phone drop against his chest, trying not to get his hopes up and getting comfortable in the bed.
His eyes shut for the briefest of moments, and he feels his phone vibrate in his hands.
---- Couldn't get this out of my head- wanted to leave the ending pretty ambiguous and kayfabe compliant. Got all this angst out of me, here's hoping I get back to fluffier WIPs lol
Hope you enjoyed!!
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