#I keep meaning to ID my stuff im just bad at it forgive me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boxwinebaddie · 5 months

Note

your au stans feel like the type to ask questions like "would you love me if i was a worm" or "do you think we're best friends/dating in every universe?" only to get answers like "why would you be a worm" or "the multiverse theory means theres infinite possibilities 🤓☝" from kyle. slash very positive.

no stop!!!! too real like 100%

like the easiest way i can explain the ncu style dynamics are like kyle trying to study for calculus, trying to clean his room, finish his homework, read his book, do his chores, be PRODUCTIVE

and its just stan in his room lying upside down on his bed or like poking him in the cheek sixteen thousand times blowing air at his glasses and fogging them up trying to get his attention like kylekylekylekylekYLE and hes like wHAT STAN WHAT????

and stans like...do u think the stars have feelings shdlksahdsakl

its so unserious hes so annoyinG!!! kyle never gets any work done when stans around bc hes literally so distracting one bc hes beautiful and two because his golden retriever adhd boy brain go brr 25/8

will call kyle at 3am when drunk like i lub you :* also i stepped on sparkys tail do u think he knows im sorry how do u know:( sakhdsa

ok hang on im doing the worm one also the boys are always dating when i do this so here we go pepstyle i guess lmaooo

ok 100% stan is like ok babe!!!! would u love me if i was a worm? :D

kyle is like dude what are u talking abt??

and stans like worms!!! me and u!!! if i was a worm would u love me!!

kyle *smart vc* ....ur a person .....ur not a worm ?

stan but if i wAS a WoRM would u love me???

kyle...i mean wouldnt that be complicated since we arent the same species? like how would we talk?

stan but were Soul Mates!!! we could make a system!!! a little language like we do with the signing!!! a Worm language!!! <33 :')

and kyle is like...stan that would be a highly irregular and irrational relationship to pursue & creating a language that we could both--

stan * lowkey getting mad* ....ok where would u put me.... :/

kyle huh???

stan ....if i were a worm, where would u put me kyle....answer :////

kyle *logical* idk in the dirt???????

stAN GASPING LIKE!!! YOU'D PUT ME OUTSIDE?????!!!! >:OOO

kyle like wORMS LIKE OUTSIDE ID SET YOU BY SOME DIRT AND STUFF NOT ON THE PAVEMENT??? WHY ARE U YELLING??!?!

stan like SO YOUD JUST GIVE ME AWAY LIKE THAT!!!! >:000 JUST BECAUSE IM A WORM!!!! YOUD GIVE UP ON ME!!!! sET ME FREE?!?

kyle stan????? you're literally a WORM!!! i dont know what you expect me to do!!! Keep You??? *sweats in autism*

stan obviousLY!!!! i mean!!!!!! iTS STILL ME!!!! kyle!!!!!! IM the worm!!!! i just got turned inTo a worm

kyle ok but stan why?? are you a WORM in the first place??? how did that even happen....like....

stan *voice cracking* i dont know sCIENCE!!! i made a bad deal w a WITCH!!! she got really mad and is teaching me a lesson ANYWAYS!!!

stan wHAT if you set me free in your yard and a big BIRD gets me and i get eaten so i DIE!!! but--but then!!! Science comes up w a cURE

kyle ...or the witch lady forgives you right ;) *dying laughing*

stan *actually crying* kYLE THIS IS SERIOUS I DIED!!!!! and then they find a way to reverse the worm thing!!!! BUT ITS TOO LATE BECAUSE I dIED BECAUSE YOU SET ME OUTSIDE AND NOW WE CANT BE SOULMATES FOREVER!!!! :(((((( ;-;;;;; AND ID DIE ALONE!!!!!! AND COLD AS A WOR--

kyle ....oh my god babe...babe why are you crying :( oh my god its okay!! you're not a worm!! and thats very good news!! i like u as you <3

stan bUT NOT AS A WORM YOU WOULDNT LOVE ME AS A WORm

kyle asjlsjda for FUCKS!!!! ok stan!!! if I was a worm??? IF. I. WAS. A. WORM. would you still love me?!

stan *no hesitation* ABSOLUTELY!!!!! i would love you FOREVER even if you were a worm!!!! ;-; i would save you from the sidewalk when its raining and make you a nice worm terrarium with lots of dirt! i already eat lots of fruits and vegetables so you'd have lots of compost to eat!!!! i would sing to you every single morning and talk to you even if you couldnt talk back. id tell you to wiggle twice for yes and once for no!!! if worms could wear clothes id learn how to make you a sweater!!! id make you a green hat out of leaf incase you miss your ushanka or you get cold!!! id keep you updated on who kenny is sleeping with and put t&p on for you! id blow you so many kisses! i would hold you and tell you i love you every day! id take you on dates with me even if people think it looks weird I ! DONT! CARE! because youre my super best worm bf and the loml! and even if they never change you back id just be happy to spend my life with you and--"

kyle.......oh...my god that was so cute....youre soooo fucking Cute...dude that was like the sweetest thing ive ever heard, i...ok get over here...put your lips on my lips worm boy....nonnegotiable :*

stan okay YES i mean nO!!!!

*stan frustrated annoyed sad noise*

stan KYLE WOULD YOU REALLY NOT LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM

;-; </3

*stan abt to cry again oh my god hes so baby*

kyle *sighs and holds both stans baby hands and squeeze smh*

in....this hypothetical vaguely dystopian scifi universe slash high fantasy depending on whether or not a witch or unexplained science phenomenon turns you into a worm...even though i would be very confused and not sure how to communicate with you...i would not....i would NOT put you outside...i'd make you a worm appropriate enclosure, check the climate, make sure your diet is balanced and

stan WOULDYOUSTILLREADTOMEIFIWAS

kyle oH my GOD! i wasnt DONE! yes i would still read to you, annoying boy, Relax!!! speaking of, it would be very peaceful in my home without you distracting me and making a mess and poking me with your mechanical pencil, i would get a lot done but i would miss you annoying me very much because i love you. so i would do a lot of research, try to figure out how to de-wormify you, work with the cdc, i don't know, go to the white house if i have to. or trade my life for yours if that frees you from the witches curse but you better do all that shit you SAID youd do stan!!!! if you dump me outside, istg!!!

kyle but...uhh...if that didnt work and you were a worm forever. i would still love you very very much...please do not ask me anymore weird questions my face is....Warm and i do not like it >.>

*robot kyle* *cue stan going MWAHMWAMHWAMWAHMWAH <3* *and kyle flinching away like a feral cat sdkhsd*

anyways...thats canon to me

-uncle nina, worm uncle

#SORRY THIS WAS SILLY AND GOOFY I JUST WANTED TO LAUGH #i feel like rmstyle is similar #except jersey is twice as jaded as pepkyle #and raven knows too much abt worms and plants #but would also cry #ncu style is the cynical robot kyle crybaby romantic stan agenda what can i say #this was my best writing please clap #the way stan was so upset the whole time #and kyle was just like...ah...fuck ok...so If You Were A Worm...#jsadsajdsajdalsd #he luvs him #kyle deals w too much i swear #thats what happens when u fall in love w the boy next door and u think hes perfect but hes actually super annoying #live laugh love being a worm

9 notes · View notes

particular-one · 1 year

Note

HIIIIHIII Could i request a matchup .....? Enstars, twst and hypmic pls ...!!!

name is kitten or 🐏 emoji! i preferably dont use pronouns but she/her it/its are ok. i have no romantic preference in terms of fictional characters hahaaa.

my mbti is INTP, tho i tend to be the most "extroverted" one if placed in a room with other introverts. im also a 8w9 + virgo if that helps. also AB blood type though i dont see many people who believe in that stuff on here.

uhmmmm my personality. im pretty sociable for an introvert, but can get burnt out super quickly IRL (but i can talk for hours over text). due to the autism i cant express myself IRL but i make up for it a lot through the internet by being uhhh a real character online.

im like a bimbo with autistm and ADHD basically, airheaded cutesy girly, bad at filtering myself so i can definitely be rude/mean asf .. super bad attention span.. always with a friend. i Can like get carried away and get very mean to people im not friends with. overall im very temperamental and ive always been like "pretty girl but comes off rude/fake but shes also the class clown kinda". since humor just comes naturally to me kinda.

hobbies include: arts (drawing, making art dolls, sewing, designing outfits/costumes, fashion, ect). i used to do dancing and track running but had to stop due to health complications (im super low energy and cant be as active as most ppl). I LOVE idols so much too.

What i look in a partnerrr?? Uhh nobody shorted than me (162cm) just cuz i cant see them romantically no matter how hard i try. anything is ok honestly as long as I can talk to them for ages and theyre not too loud/chaotic. overall want someone to be as equally as down bad as i am with them for me (if not more haha)

misc ... uhh my favorite love language is acts of service. i dont have to force myself to do anything i struggle with like putting thoughts into words or trying to act affectionate (tho i do get cuteness aggression). i love recieving words of affirmation lmao i need the reminding that they do love me !!!!.

i lovee cats, BOBA i kind of have an addiction to it. cute stuff cute ppl ect... i dont rlly like public affection (its cringe asf seeing couples act lovey dovey in public Sory Im not doing that).

I WROTE SO MUCH SORRY i didnt even notice Please forgive me. uhh last bit of trivia umm. if i were half-animal id have bunny ears and a tail... or id be a deer. THATS IT OK SORRY.

hi kitten! rrararararraa a hypmic AND enstars request?? im so excited :> and don't worry about rambling, it gives me a better idea on who i can match you with! hope you like them!

ENSEMBLE STARS ---- SHU ITSUKI

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ shu's first meeting with you was not actually the first time he's seen you. your handiwork with fashion had piqued his interest for the longest time, but he never actually knew that it was you behind those pieces. so imagine his surprise when he finds out that the genius behind the designs was in fact, you! though shu came off as fussy at first, especially since he wanted to get close to you to observe how you perfected your designs, he gradually found himself enjoying your company more and more. when he finds out about your interest in idols, this amuses him greatly, considering he is one. he'd be the last to admit he likes you, but his behavior ends up changing for the better when he's around you. as a partner, shu can be a bit extravagant with the way he shows love, but he always remembers to keep it in private to respect your preference. he's a perfectionist, so he likes to plan out your activities together down to the tiniest detail, but that's because he wants you to have the best time. shu can be rather straightforward with his words as he doesn't beat around the bush — he doesn't have a filter at times either — but everything he says about you, he truly means them. shu likes admiring you while you're busy at work (he says he's doing it because he wants to see how you do things but secretly it's because he likes watching you do something you're passionate about) but there are days where the both of you would be in the same room working on your respective designs together! he asks for your inputs and vice versa, it's usually the most fun he has.

TWISTED WONDERLAND ---- JAMIL VIPER

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ jamil was not your biggest fan when you first met — if he were being honest, you almost reminded him of kalim, and having another kalim was never good. still, you often get paired in tasks together that he had to get to know you eventually, and was he wrong about not liking you. though it took him quite a while to warm up to the idea of being in your company, he actually found himself looking forward to talking with you. surprise surprise, jamil's definitely the type of "he fell harder" in this situation. as a partner, jamil is most definitely not the publicly affectionate type. though it might seem he's keeping your relationship lowkey, it's mainly because he didn't want people (read: kalim) to make the biggest fuss about it. though he doesn't take you out that often, he's very loving and caring in private. though jamil never enjoyed the idea of serving someone, with you it was different. he'd find himself enjoying to cook your favorite food, help you out in your tasks without a word, and to make you feel as comfortable as possible. character development for him, tbh. when you tell him of your craving for boba, watch this man continuously try and succeed to making boba tea tailored to your preference.

HYPNOSIS MIC ---- NEMU AOHITSUGI

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ nemu actually met you through a chance encounter in a mock rap battle during the tdd era as audience members. it was your personality that drew her in, but she was actually surprised by how blunt you were, but if she were being honest, your humor makes her laugh a lot. your relationship means the world to her, especially since she made sure that samatoki didn't interfere as much as possible. she loves her brother, but he can get carried away when it comes to her. nemu's definitely the one who ended up liking you first, but she's unsure on how to express this to you. as a partner, nemu is very, very sweet. she's scared of messing anything up, so she carefully plans everything in advance. when she finds out that you like cats, she actually comes forward with the idea of adopting a cat together with you! it became your bonding activity, with two of nemu's favorites in the entire world: the cat and of course, you. she has your favorite boba order/s memorized and likes to surprise you with getting some. nemu's the encouraging type, so expect a lot of comforting words from her. she's also the type who likes bringing you out to shop, whether it's for your art materials or for clothes, nemu likes hearing your inputs on the items you buy (or consider buying) and takes note of them so she can surprise you with them in the future.

#hypnosis mic #hypmic matchups #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland matchups #ensemble stars #ensemble stars matchups #enstars matchups #enstars #·˚ * 🔭 carlyle matchups

5 notes · View notes

lunarlagomorph · 2 years

Text

Ok this time i actually wrote out what i thought of tsukihime. Im readmoring both for spoilers and length

First off, kohaku's route: really incredible and the way it builds off hisui's route flips a lot of things that seemed innocent on your head, and makes you pay attention to the parts of the plot you already know to understand what Kohaku is really doing and feeling. A good example of this is when Kohaku cuts her finger while cooking and says she can just imagine her hand as a doll hand; in hisui's route this comes across as weird and having more to it, obviously, but knowing exactly what she means makes it a lot sadder to hear.

In general, I think that's one of Tsukihime's strengths you are essentially hearing the same story multiple times, but it manages to recontextualize everything each time and never gets too boring. Certainly there is the difference between the near and far side routes, as well as among the routes themselves, but even those have so many similarities due to shiki's (and SHIKI's) backstory, shiki's connection to the killer, etc. But the timing of the reveals, what shiki does and doesn't know, and a bunch of other things keep the same information feeling fresh, and really lets the game explore all sides of the characters relationships.

Though btw that does remind me why is roa just. Not in the second half? Did he not reincarnate as SHIKI in those? We see Arcueid is in town so one imagines she is here to kill roa. I mean she could just be here to kill the vampire serial killer (SHIKI) but if thats the case she does a real shit job lol. It wasnr that bothersome but it was a little weird to have zero explanation about a major change to backstory.

Anyways i think the near side routes were fine, and arcueid and ciel are both really interesting, fun characters (though i liked arcueid infinitely more) but they definitely lacked the emotional depth the far side routes had. Honestly i knew id like kohaku and hisui as much as i do but i didnt expect to grow to love Akiha as much as i did. It is unfortunate her character is a bit weighed down by nasu's incest fetish or whatever was up with that but pushing past the weird stuff that i think she ended up my favorite character.

And pushing past the weird stuff is like. Required to read tsukihime. Though i will say the sex scenes were very easy to skip thanks tk nasu having specific music for sex lol.

I think besides the weird stuff, though, Tsukihime's major flaw is just the weakness of its themes and symbolism. Which is fine; it more than makes up for that in terms of character depth as well as entertainment quality. But after reading umineko, for example (wow bringing up umineko who would have thought) i really took away a lot of meaning and it's still something i think about in terms of symbolism and themes to this day. The lessons Tsukihime teaches are "killing is bad" and "being nice and forgiving people is good" from what i could tell (though as i let it simmer in my brain i may changs my mind) and those are the same themes as like. Stevens university lol. Again it does a grest job bringing emotional depth to shiki's decision to choose kindness and fight against his nanaya blood or what-not, it just didnt feel like i walked away a changed person like with umineko and similar works. All this does is stops it from being my favorite thing ever, but it was still really enjoyable. I don't do numeric ratings but i think id put this somewhere above steins;gate, and then lowered a bit to account for the fact that nasu was way too horny and way too weird. Which btw i loved steins gate so that means i really loved tsukihime.

Random other thoughtz:

Route ranking:

Hisui=Kohaku > Akiha > Arcueid > Ciel

Character Ranking:

Akiha > Arcueid > Hisui > Kohaku > Ciel >>> inui > yumizuka > nvnsqr chaos > SHIKI > roa(i guess).

This makes me feel mean ranking kohaku so low but honestly all of the route characters were incredible so its not that i didnt like her.

Oh right what the hell was up with sensei i thought shed be a part of the plot. Idk if its sequel bait or what but i was a little annoyed lol.

Ok i think thats it. Im sure no one read this lol but if u did thx

#luna plays tsukihime #my post #blahblahblah

3 notes · View notes

1990jeevas · 2 years

Note

🐺🦝😈 for the ask game :]

🐺 - Should Wilbur get a redemption arc?

YES!!! YES I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL YESSSS!!!! he has been through so much and he deserves love and kindness and time to get better and rebuild his connections with the people who he still loves even if they dont love him anymore and i want that for him so bad. also like i dont even think or WANT everyone to forgive him, i just want him to be able to apologize and explain and for people to hear him out and understand, even if they do not forgive him/try and become his friend again. wilbur has caused a lot of harm but that wasnt ever because he wanted to hurt the people he cared about, it was because he was paranoid, depressed, etc, etc. i know im not saying anything new but i fr just want him to be happy by the end of this shit and i have faith in ccwilbur to give me that.

🦝 - Do Crimeboys have a toxic Dynamic?

if i have to be totally honest, yes, but. i think they can get better? and i would like them to get better? like. okay wilbur very clearly wants what is best for tommy but he wont actually do it a lot of the times bc his own mental health is so fucked and he thinks doing "what is right" in his mind (which is often actually Not what is right, and is just what will bring him immediate emotional satisfaction/relief, if that makes any sense) is more important than keeping tommy emotionally safe and i think the last crimeboys lore stream really showed that. like wilbur wants dream to suffer for everything he did to tommy and he wants dream to suffer by his hands/because of him, but what tommy wants is to just. never have to see or think or worry about dream again. and instead of getting tommy away from dream when he couldve in the prison, he made tommy watch as he threated to kill himself to make dream do what he wanted because he thinks dream cant kill what he created but really its not about wilbur at all, its about the fact that tommy cares so much about wilbur and dream can use that against him. and wilbur just doesnt even realize it which is dangerous for the both of them. and wilbur doesnt mean to hurt tommy, he isnt doing any of this shit with malicious intent, he is just. a fucking mess and tommy is the one who is always there because he loves wilbur even though wilbur isnt good for him. yeah anyways im crazy about them can you tell?

😈 - Is Quackity a villainous character?

imo no but maybe that is bc i think i would Also do the shit he is doing if i was in his shoes. like he has basically lost everyone who he has loved and in return he's done what? build las nevadas where he now lives alone? torture an abuser in prison? have homoerotic arguments with wilbur? id personally give him an award for the last two. like i just cannot see quackity as villainous no matter how much morally dubious shit he has done bc basically all of it comes from a place of being lonely, traumatized and becoming angry/jaded as a result. obvi i dont agree with everything he has done (ie stuff with purpled) but it makes sense in my eyes so 🤷‍♀️

#shit self #asks #acidicvolt #dream smp #tommyinnit #quackity #wilbur soot #discourse

3 notes · View notes

wolfsneedles · 3 years

Text

im sorry but otis and maeve exacerbate the goodness and badness both in each other and this makes them special and more connected with their glimpses, gestures and inability to stay away for longer. unless ur telling me there are other superior ships too but the ending of s3 ep7 was so so special. Otis and Maeve's ending lines in the rain scene is pretty PRETTY indicative of who at least should be with whom, when its always been them in each others mind. Now idk what would writers do or make of it in s4 and cliffhanger like ending, but all love interests added were poorly added and gave us false hope for both characs to be with someone else like isaac/ruby thing, however the entire thing as eric says too, "happened bcs of otis and maeve coming together with special diff traits and bonds to form the best clinic that offers pretty feasible and amateur like opinions which in turn polished otis' skills of helping people more and also for maeve who was already pretty smart and bright ahead of her times, in her speech and tastes" and this was entire reason and beginning of the best season which led to clinical education, awareness for teenagers while otis and maeve also navigate through each others lives and troubles and love and ways of communicating since both have a different way of communicating and both adhere to each other and also give each other space more, (or maybe bcs i do prefer that ship more than others, im just so hyped at every scene and moment). However the best moment for me wasn't the bus scene kiss moment in france but when otis and maeve were both kicked out of sexed class for open and different opinions against or anti to whatever prude and harsh concepts Hope was instilling in people, a lot of ppl and characters owned up to their sexuality and rebelled but Otis and Maeve rejecting the idea and challenging and arguing but then also being kicked out of class is very special moment and a parallel between them that so many perhaps don't notice, It also tells how differently in choices, they are so connected in thoughts, Maeve never shrugged off otis and he doesn't bother her only and until they both knew they couldn't really stay away and he made an effort even after f_cking up to stay in his life, and apologized and competed rather foolishly with isaac but all this bottled down again to ruby and isaac just used for story development and then removed from scenes but in a way i think, it is best for them since otis and maeve are both confused about each other & overall relationships, i think they both would take things v slowly and they are that kind of patient couple if they are a couple.....which i cant see hope of. It all actually just started from them too, which led to graffitis and sexual topics to be embraced and accepted more, bcs idk if someone also noticed how otis has so much of jean in him, and even if he is embarrassed by his mother sometimes, the genes just reflect in him. He is good at articulating and smooth and i think maeve picks it up quickly, they don't even guess when they are together, and they both have innate desire to help ppl esp maeve under that hard rock shell of an exterior, she is the most selfless and forgiving person, maybe too much, and lets go of a lot of stuff, always looks forward to future and is quite pragmatic even but in sense of otis, they both are always inexplicably drawn and held together to each other by some bitter false or sweet ripe memory of their previous days and its so funny or adorable to see them actually cling foolishly to their past encounter messages, moments, talks, and dreams/jokes of having a clinic. We see eric as bestfriend of Otis rooting for them too, and so does Aimee (which is weak evidence or parallel since writers are putting hints like this always but it is always jeopardized somehow in the end too so im not hoping or keeping too high hopes on anything).

The rain moment in s3ep7 is the most heart-warming because maeve now doesn't push otis back and neither does she falls back on isaac somehow, and she welcomes his opinion again, only this time they actually confess in pretty open words & expressions which is more meaningful and rigorous and sparkling than the RainmomentInFrance which i think was, meaningless or maybe just a way to bring them close together.

You cannot tell me this is excellent dialogue exchange and yet so simple with breath your name by Sixpence playing in the BG,

Otis: "It was never about the clinic, it was to be close to you – and even if we aren't romantically together, id like to see you everyday, Nothing feels right when you aren't here"

This is more about companionship and soulmate-ism too than just a sexual relationship or deep crush situation. Even if they aren't together romantically, and still wanting to be close to her is big big thing & detail for at least something good and warm for them in future, because he hasn't confessed this to anyone or ruby even which was initially a casual relationship even. This explains pretty well that even if they aren't together or intended to be together, - the staying close + together or near each other is enough to make day.

Maeve: "It wasn't about the money for me, it was also to be close to you too

Maeve doesn't say much but a) smiles when he says we can be team and due to nearness to her he wanted to work on further and b).she exclaims and rebuts his claim that she was in it for money only when she has never been lucky in family/financial dept and wanted to be close to her too, but also how this was method for her to earn money too so like double benefit because maeve does need money and we cannot reduce her to romantic person only but the hardworking intelligent and practical persona she carries and embodies! and wants to rise academically and also does it selflessly, doesn't obstruct or infringe on someone's rights like most people do. But she also does admit at the same time it wasnt just for the money. With the background music score this moment might be the best cliché end or romantic confession even if in future it doesn't mean much because words...are winds and fade away, but i cannot deny the canon visible goodness these both characters bring out in one another, its like they do compliment and fit each other which i always find quite evident from s1 until s2 made their friendship too sour but its about what they bring in each other and only think abt themselves in each others presence. When they are with someone else they think about other things clouding their mind yet sometimes when they talk to each other, its like they both do comfort each other or it wouldn't have pained the writers to show how visibly hateful they are if they were. Perhaps the abortion moment in s1 was also very warm and changed my mind so much abt them, its like how otis is always there in worse situations for maeve along with aimee too ofc, and sometimes its childish to see him try so hard and desperate to be there but she eventually lets him in.

#sex ed meta #sex education netflix #sex education spoilers #sex ed s3 #sex ed season 3 #sex ed 3 #sex education #sex ed netflix #sex ed #maeve wiley #otis milburn #this isnt pro ship discussion either but how they bring the best in each other regardless of shortcomings and #dick like attitude of otis initially which almost every charac had #but the chemistry in this one isn't in s3 only it was always there and it just got dim and buried #i feel most excited when i see them #and thankful to writers for not giving us enough screentime for them huh so...#maeve x otis #otis x maeve #sex education s3

40 notes · View notes

thisdreamplace · 3 years

Note

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

19 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

#sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #izzy lightwood #lightwood siblings #clizzy if u squint #beauty and the beast au #part 2 i guess lmao #ask #shum-baby #long post #abuse mention

32 notes · View notes

angstysebfan · 3 years

Text

PR Stunt Gone Wrong - Chapter 26

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: You are a fellow actress in the MCU, Bucky’s love interest. You met Seb during the CA: WS and you guys hit it off. Chemistry on and off the set, but never dated until after Infinity War. During filming of FATWS, the pandemic caused everything to shut down. Seb offered you to spend quarantine with him, but somewhere along the lines, things go wrong and Seb makes a PR decision.

A/N: I was going to to this in a Bucky story, but then I decided to keep it Seb. With everything going on with Seb over the last several months, I came up with this story in my head. Obviously a lot of this is made up, but it is using what we know Seb has been doing over the last several months.

The next morning you wake up to your cell phone ringing. You look at the Caller ID and see your manager’s name. You roll your eyes and ignore the call, but after a few seconds she calls again. “Hello?” you answer, making sure you sound annoyed. “I have been trying to reach you for weeks, where have you been?” your manager asks. “Busy,” was all you replied.

“What is this that you and Sebastian went out for a lunch date yesterday? I thought you were done with him,” she says. “What the hell are you talking about? I had an appointment, and he asked if we could talk. We went to lunch and then went out separate ways,” you say. “Well the pictures that have just been posted online tell a whole different story,” she says.

You quickly got out your laptop and looked and sure enough there are pictures of you and Seb sitting at your table for lunch, shy smiles at each other, another of you two walking down the street, and another of you hugging. “What the hell? Whatever Seb and I know it’s not real,” you say, “Why do you care?” you ask, hoping to get the truth from her.

“I... I was just concerned,” she says. You roll your eyes, “Ok, well it doesn’t matter, since he is with her,” you say while quickly shooting a text to Seb. “Y/N, you have no idea of the ramifications this could have,” your manager says. Your eyebrows shoot up, “Oh? I actually think I might,” you say. There is silence, “What do you mean?” she asks. “Let’s just say I know more then people think, but not enough to mean anything. But I have to go and call Chase to make sure he knows what is going on, bye,” you say before hanging up. You hope that you opening your mouth doesn’t hurt the case.

Seb calls you and you quickly pick up, “Seb, I was so stupid, I might have let it slip to my manager that I have an idea of how bad this could get,” you say. “Damn, ok. I’ll my lawyer and see what he says. I hope this doesn’t ruin anything,” he says. “I know I was just so upset that it slipped out,” you say apologetically. “It’s ok Y/N. I understand, but Ale is fuming about the pictures,” he says.

“Who the fuck cares! She is a bitch who put you into this situation,” you say. He sighs, “I know, but this is going to make it difficult to go out to the lawyers without her. I can’t have her find out what’s going on, it will ruin everything,” he says. “Um.. what if I put out a statement, saying we were burying the hatchet between us, and I was giving my blessing to your relationship,” you say.

“Y/N, fans already hate me, do you really want them to come after you? I don’t,” he says. “I wont let you sacrifice yourself for me,” he adds. “So what do we do?” you ask as you hear a beep indicating its your call waiting. You look and see Chase’s name, “Seb I’ll call you back,” you say before hanging up and answering Chase’s call.

“Hey Chase, I was just about to call you,” you say. “So when you said you needed space to think and decide, was that just from me?” he asks. You sigh defeated, “Chase I swear I... We went to the lawyers and he asked me to have lunch to talk. That was it. I wanted to get it over with so that I could just be alone with think,” you say. There is silence on the other end.

“Chase, I swear, it didn’t mean anything. All we did was talk about the case. I am currently packed up to go down to my shore house and think,” you say. “Y/N, who are we kidding here? We both know he is the one you want,” Chase says. “Chase, I meant it when I said that I had feelings for you. I... I don’t know if I am going to be with Seb. I don’t know if I can trust him with my heart again,” you say.

“He loves you. He tells me all the time, and not to rub it in my face. He honestly loves you, and he regrets everything that happened. I can’t stand in the way of my friends happiness,” he says. “Chase...” you say as tears come to your eyes. “Y/N, I care about you, you know I do. And it’s because I care about you, that I am taking myself out of the equation,” he says.

“Who says I want you out of the equation? Why don’t I ever get a say in anything?! Seb makes decisions for me and breaks my heart, and now you are making a decision for me, and again breaking my heart. Why can’t I make my own decisions just once,” you say crying. “I don’t want to break your heart, I am just protecting all of us,” he says.

“Well, fine job you’re doing, because my heart is once again broken. Goodbye Chase,” you say before hanging up. You cover your face and just cry in a mix of frustration and sadness. You knew what Chase was doing, but you were considering being with him. Now you don’t know what to do. You finish packing and get dressed before heading out. Separation from the world is exactly what you need.

You sit at the top of the beach and the cool breeze blows your hair everywhere. Tucker is running every which way, enjoying his time playing in the sand. When you left your apartment, you went to your mom’s and picked up Tucker and came down to your beach house on the Jersey Shore. You turned off your cell phone and have kept your computer closed. You needed time. Time to think. Time to heal. Time to come to terms with where your life is.

You sit there and think of how different everything was compared to how you thought it would be. And the one thing that made you the angriest, was that all these terrible things were a result of other people deciding what was right for you. Deciding to protect you from harm, instead of letting you be involved and working together.

While you knew why Sebastian did what he did, you still don’t know if you will ever be able to fully forgive him and trust him. He broke your heart into a mission pieces, and you have had a hell of a time gluing it back together. You know he is unhappy, and that he doesn’t want to be in this situation, but because he tried to protect you, he broke you. It just shows good intentions are not always good.

Then there is Chase. The man who has been by your side and actually helped you get your life together. He was there through your own personal hell, making sure you knew you were not alone. You were stupid to allow the relationship to go as far as it did, because once again, to “protect” you, he broke your heart. Both men that you gave your heart to, broke your heart. Maybe you are meant to be alone.

Seb paces in his office trying again and again to reach you. You were supposed to call him back, and you never did. He spoke with Chase and found out what happened, and knows you are hiding somewhere. He has so many things he needs to tell you.

He spoke to his lawyer about the pap pictures. Turns out Ale had him followed by paps, knowing he was hiding something. He kicked her out of his apartment and told CAA that he was done. They started threatening your career, but he refuses to allow them to hurt him or you. His lawyer told him that the case is going to trial, and that he has every reason to believe they will win. Thankfully because you have given sworn statements, neither you nor him have to go to court, unless something comes up.

Seb keeps pacing, thinking about where you could be. He went to your apartment, but you aren’t there. He called your mom, but she didn’t want to talk to him, not that he blames her. Where could you have gone? Are you in the city? Are you safe? He keeps pacing until it finally hits him. He knows where you are. He quickly throws clothes in a bag and runs out of the apartment, calling for an Uber.

It takes almost 2 hours to finally reach his destination. He runs up to the house and knocks, but there is no answer. He runs around to the backyard, but no sign of you. He sits there thinking he got it wrong, when an idea hits him. He throws his bag on the porch and runs the block to the beach. As he comes to the small board walk he sees you sitting on the dune at the top of the beach. He walks down the boardwalk until he comes upon you.

You see something in your peripheral vision and turn to see Sebastian standing there. “Sebastian? What are you doing here?” you ask. He stands there panting, “I... I needed to make sure you were ok. I was worried,” he says.

You look at him and give him a small smile. You pat the sand next to you and he sits. You both look out over the beach and the ocean. You try and calm your pounding heart as you look over the horizon. He came for you. He came... for you.

Chapter 25 / Chapter 27

This does not mean they are getting back together so don’t hate on me. But we are almost to the end folks. This is not the end of Chase either. A decision will be made. Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @elegantobservationstudentsblog

Story Taglist: @5jacobm5 @thejemersoninferno @adriannajackson @barikawho @uglipotata72829 @coffeebooksandfandom @collette04 @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo @calwitch @thatsbucknasty @mollygetssherlockcoffee @awkward117 @bihoeofmanyfandoms

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #seb

107 notes · View notes

ivyuns · 3 years

Text

come back to me again ❆ ✰

kim seungmin

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 1.8k

warnings: 2018-2020 era, young hearts are broken, mentions of passing out, y/n’s leader name is yerim and other member’s name is sunni, mentions of suicide, fainting, mean comments, strict dieting, one bad word oop, the plot doesnt make sense lol i just wanted a break from landing in your heart, not proofread

notes: i had three story plots i wanted to use but uh yeah i chose this one (maybe ill post all three of them but different members oo) but listen to love again by baekyun, or the cover by minnie <3

masterlist

idol!seungmin x femidol!reader

tell me you love me like the day you did

the day it ended was on a rainy, cold day. seungmin called you to meet up with him, saying he had something to tell you. heading to the jyp building, which wasnt that far from you house.

scanning your id and greeting the staff, you go to the room seungmin was in. knocking twice, you heard a “come in” and opened the door gently. “hi minnie” you smiled at your boyfriend. seungmin waved back with a small smile on his face.

“y/n, come sit here, we need to talk”

going to where seungmin pat the spot for you to sit, he sighs. “i know this is hard, but you know how stray kids is debuting soon?” you nod, knowing where this is leading to. “i- we have to break up” he paused. “but you know i love you right? i promise id come back after three years okay baby?” holding you tears, you looked into his eyes, that are full of sadness.

trying your best to hold your tears in, you gave him one last hug. before parting different ways, seungmin kissed your lips. letting go, you put the promise ring he gave you 2 years ago on his palm and walked away. letting the tears running onto your cheeks as you walked away from the room.

with a sobbing seungmin left alone in the practice room. holding your promise ring made him feel guilty, but it wasnt his fault that he had to do this.

tell me once again, say that you love me again

packing all of seungmins stuff that was at your house and looking though them made your heart burn. from they day he asked you out after school to whenever you two last hung out with each other, which was over 2 months ago.

because now that you and seungmin auditioned to be in the same company, but with seungmin, he had a little bit more talent than you did. it didnt mean you didnt have talent, it just meant you were physically ready to become an idol. still improving, many idols were amazed at how well your singing and dancing was.

finally taping seungmins box, you went to the stray kids dorm and dropped it off and to say goodbye to the boys. deciding to switch to a new company to focus more instead of dealing with you heartbreak.

you rung the doorbell and you come face-to-face with seungmin. handing seungmin the box, you asked if it was okay to say goodbye to the boys, which made seungmin confused. where you going somewhere? ending your dreams?

seungmin moved to the side for you to come in. as seungmin closed the door, a voice was heard. “seungmo! who’s here- oh” looking up, you see minho. your eyes that was red and puffy ran more tears down as you ran up and hugged minho.

minho was in fact the one who introduced you to seungmin. accidentally falling in love with seungmin, you told minho all about it and he eventually told seungmin about your feelings towards him. seungmin, who felt the same way, made the best way to confess to you, which was a success.

minho hugged you back, caressing you back as seungmin looked down and went back to his room. “its okay love, its okay” minho shushed you as you cried into his chest. settling you two in the living room, the whole stray kids but seungmin came out of their rooms, comforting you as they all knew what happened between you and seungmin.

30 minutes passed and you decided it was time to go. giving the boys one last hug, you made sure they’ll have good luck when theyre now idols.

“just know, ill love you guys forever. thank you”

im where ive always been, i still love you

almost 2 years had gone by and you finally debuted into a three member group. with being the main vocalist and dancer. being invited to the award shows, your group gracefully posed on the red carpet, right after stray kids. accidentally locking eyes with seungmin, you almost teared up but you had to be strong.

sitting down in front of stray kids, you grew anxious as if nobody else other than stray kids and yerim knew about your past relationship. stilling having feelings for seungmin, you let them go and paid attention to the show that was now starting.

“hyung, dont you think y/n looks like shes about to pass out?” jeongin asked seungmin. after you left the dorms that day, seungmin didnt know where you were. nobody told him anything about you other than you leaving jyp. you and your group was hidden from social media until your company announced a new girl group was debuting soon.

after seungmin got the news about you, he felt so relieved, knowing that you were still here living. on the pictures online, you looked like a goddess. the way your singing was beautiful and your dancing were sharp. he was amazed at how far you came.

but when seungmin saw you in person, it looked like you were on the verge of passing out due to how thin you looked. it looked like you couldnt perform on what your condition is.

feeling unsteady, your group was the last ones to perform. getting into your costumes, you fell back slightly when yerim pushed you up. after seeing how weak your body has been acting, she was worried something might happen to you on stage. and seeing how you reacted when you saw seungmin again made her worried.

“y/n, are you sure you got this?” yerim asked. nodding your head a yes with a smile on you, you gave her a thumbs up. with the smile that hid everything. yerim nodded her head, your group was ready to perform.

among the three girls that was on the stage, seungmin only looked out for you. anxiety rising, seungmin bit his lips which changbin rubbing his back to calm down.

the end of the performance, you tried your best to stay still, but you only saw blurry vision. as you were about to get off stage, you fainted with your head hitting the floor first. gasping were loud from everyone as yerim and sunni tried to lift you up and go back to the dressing rooms.

as soon as seungmin saw everything, he stood up and tried to run towards you till he was stopped by chan. “seungmin you cant. everyone’s going to find out” “i dont care hyung, the person i love the most is hurt” seungmin said and let go of chan’s hand that was gripped around seungmins wrist.

seungmin runs through the halls and tries to find your groups room. after finding it, he gently pushes away people who are near you and gets a view of you on the couch. “s-seungmin” both sunni and yerim said together. “yerim, what happened to her” seungmin asked, skipping the honorifics since they know each other.

yerim bites her lips with glossy eyes, scared of what to tell seungmin what you’ve been doing. “yerim?! i said whats going on with y/n-” “she tried to kill herself!” seungmin pauses and tries to lets what yerim said sink into him.

“w-what? why?” seungmin asks as tears start streaming down his face, as well as sunni’s and yerim’s. “she was scared. scared that she wasnt going to be perfect to be an idol. she started getting hate comments, saying she was too fat. but this is why shes too thin. she wont listen to us when we tell her she needs to rest and to start eating. all she does is practice with no water breaks but somehow, she still hits every move right. other than that, shes scared of what youll see her like again. she still loves you seungmin, but shes scared”

“sunbae, shes not okay. she needs somebody and that somebody is you”

seungmin was stunned by what yerim and sunni told him. “can- can you two leave us for a moment. please?” seungmin asked quietly as everyone left the room. seungmin starred at your body. eyes closed with you as skinny as your bones. it scared him of how you thought so low about yourself.

he doesnt understand it. he doesnt understand how you got every moves and vocals right without anything. where you like this during your relationship? no, it couldnt. both seungmin and you promised each other that you two will never keep secrets to yourself.

seungmin silently cries to himself, thinking of why you wanted to do this to yourself as he held your hand. his tears slowly fall onto you forearms, which wipes the makeup off of your scars you created, which makes seungmin cry more.

because of you fainting, the award show was paused temporally. with this being said, stray kids got up and quickly went to you room until they were stopped by yerim. “dont, seungmins already in there” all of them nods their heads and waited outside the room with minho dropping down, hands in his face with tears as he remembers when you tried to seek help from him but he never answered because he was too busy.

don't leave me alone baby, just stay for the night baby

still holding your hand, seungmin whispers ‘i love yous’ and ‘im sorry, please forgive me’. gaining conscious, you flutter your eyes open and see seungmin in front of you.

“seungmin?”

he opens his eyes to see you awake. “bab- y/n. thank god” seungmin says and hugs you gently. tears start streaming down as you realized he probably knows everything now. “s-seungmin, did they tell you-” “yes they did. and im sorry. so fucking sorry oh my god, please dont do this again. please eat, please do what you loved to do again. i want the old y/n back, the happy one” seungmin lets out.

“okay, ill come back” you told him. seungmin wipes your tears away, as well as his and plants a kiss on your lips. “come back to me again?” nodding your head, you both smile. this time, a real and happy smile from you.

the awards continued on and your group won an award. chan offered your group if they wanted to come for dinner, you were going to decline, but yerim, sunni and seungmin forced you to, wanting you to start eating again.

heading out, the eleven of you walked to the nearest korean bbq while holding seungmin’s hand. feeling the warmth youve been missing for 2 years.

tell me your love again.

END <3

#stray kids #stray kids seungmin #seungmin angst #seungmin fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz fluff #skz #jyp skz #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop #kim seungmin #fluff #angst

57 notes · View notes

fridgeful-o-help · 3 years

Note

thank you if you can answer my questions, hopefully all 5 parts went through, and sorry that it ended up being kind of long and rambly. i really appreciate the way you answer people and thought you'd be able to provide some good insight which is why i wanted to hear your opinions if that's okay. thanks so much again, i really do appreciate any advice, and i hope you're doing well and having a good day or night. take care for now!

HI NONNIE! I GOT ALL YOUR ASKS AND ILL DO MY BEST TO AWNSER EVERYTHING I CAN. I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE HELPFUL, AND IM GLAD YOU THINK IM GOOD AT IT.

I HOPE THIS HELPS BUT IM VERY LONG-WINDED TODAY APPERENTLY

NOW, TO BEGIN. TYPICALLY WHEN ARGUING FOR NEOPRONOUNS AGAINST THE ARGUMENT YOU HAVE BEEN PRESENTED YOU HAVE TO GO FOR MORE... WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN ASKING PEOPLE TO CALL YOU A SLUR OR WITH "BLMSELF" IS THAT THOSE THINGS CAUSE ACTUAL HARM TO OTHER PEOPLE. THERES ALSO THAT THERE ISNT ANYTHING WRONG WITH PIZZASELF, IT JUST SORT OF? SOUNDS SILLY? ITS NOT HURTING ANYONE, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A LITTLE SILLY IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE. A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HATE NOUNSELF ARE GOING OFF THE BASE REACTION THAT ITS SILLY/DUMB SO ID KEEP THAT IN MIND. (FYI IF YOU GO BY PIZZASELF YOURE AWESOME. YOU DONT DESERVE ANY FLACK YOU GET FOR DOING SO AND KEEP BEING YOU BECAUSE YOURE COOL! 8}) BUT YES I AGREE, MOST IF NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH THAT ARGUMENT DO NOT USE NEOPRONOUNS THEMSELVES.

PLEASE REMEMBER THOUGH THAT IF IT WAS UNINETIONAL WHEN YOU INVALIDATE SOMEONE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND MISTAKE, AND YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE FORGIVEN. WE ALL DO AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER AND I PROMISE IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.

COMING FROM THAT, THERE IS A VERY SIZABLE CHUNK OF NOUNSELF USERS WHO ARE LEGITAMATE AT LEAST THE LEAST, FROM MY PERSONAL OBSERVATION. A PATTERN I THINK IVE NOTICED IN (A PORTION OF) THE PEOPLE WHO I KNOW 100% ARE SINCERE IS USUALLY PEOPLE WILL SELECT NOUN PRONOUNS BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES? FOR THEM ITS DONE AS PART OF GENDER PERFORMANCE TO INVOKE A CERTAIN FEELING, LIKE SOMEONE WHO FEELS VERY CUTESY MIGHT GO FOR BUN/BUNS FOR EXAMPLE. ITS NOT ALWAYS THAT WAY THOUGH.

SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK. ANYWAYS, NOUNSELF TROLLS ARE SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT TO SPOT DUE TO IT BEING WELL. HARD TO MAKE A "PARODY" OF, REALLY. WITH NON-NOUNSELF ID JUST CHECK PRONOUNCIATIONS AND SUCH BEFORE PROCEEDING. FOR THE MOST PART THOUGH I WOULD TRY TO HANDLE YOUR FEARS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE? INSTANCES OF TROLLING LIKE THAT BLOW UP BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARY AND GENERATE CLICKS, THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THEYRE COMMON NOR UNIVERSAL. IF IT CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU ID SUGGEST DOING SOMETHING I LEARNED IN THERAPY CALLED A BELIEF EXPERIMENT (DOING A SMALLER, ACHIVABLE ACTION TO ATTEMPT TO PROVE OR DISPROVE WORRIED/ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. ID USUALLY DO THIS WITH A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND TO HAVE YOUR BACK OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT)

GENERALLY IF YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS WOULD FIND IT ODD BUT WOULD STILL BE RELITIVELY ACCEPTING ID TREAT IT LIKE A NORMAL COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH A FEW EXTRA STEPS. ID USUALLY SUGGEST TELLING YOUR FRIENDS PERSONALLY BEFORE UPDATING YOUR SOCIALS, BUT THATS UP TO YOU. ID ALSO GO WITH ANY TRANS FRIENDS YOU HAVE FIRST IF THATS AN OPTION, BECAUSE USUALLY ITS EASIER TO EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH NEOS IN THAT SITUATION. IT MIGHT SUCK BUT ID SUGGEST THAT WHEN/IF THEY ARE MILDLY INSENSITIVE JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT BOTHERED YOU AND WHY, HOPEFULLY THEYLL GET IT.

TYPICALLY MY RESPONSE TO SOMEONE BEING RUDE TO ME IS NOT... IDEAL SO I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADVISE YOU ON THAT, BUT GENERALLY YOU DONT HAVE TO DEFEND THE FACT YOU EXIST IF YOURE NOT UP FOR IT. USE THE BLOCK BUTTON AS LIBERALLY AS YOU LIKE, ITS A DEFENCE IN ITS OWN RIGHT.

THATS ALL, I THINK. YOUR MESSAGES COPY-PASTED WILL BE UNDER THE CUT, FORGIVE ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING, I DO HAVE A DISORDER THAT MAKES IT SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO READ. FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, COMMENTS ETC AND DO TELL ME IF I DID MISS SOMETHING YOU STILL NEED HELP WITH .

MESSAGES AS FOLLOWS, WITH SEPERATIONS REMOVED:

so i've been using neopronouns for less than a week and every day since i started, i've been getting negative reactions. the negativity comes from strangers, so it doesn't hurt me as personally as if friends were doing this (i actually haven't said anything to my friends about my neopronouns yet). anyhow, when people try to argue with me, i tell them that i don't see why they can't be respectful and call someone whatever makes them feel happy and comfortable. one reaction i got was "just because something makes someone happy doesn't make it valid" and compared it to letting someone drink poison if drinking poison is what makes them happy. then i get a lot of people who bring up stuff like "but what if the pronouns that make me feel valid contain a slur? / what if i use pizzaself? / what if i only go by BLMself pronouns? you'd be invalidating me!!!" and they try to use my own words against me since i've previously said "even if you don't understand it you should call people by what makes them feel valid." i know these people don't even use neopronouns to begin with but tbh it still does start to make me feel guilty? i'm nd and i can't always pick up social cues or sarcasm so i would feel horrible if i did unwillingly invalidate someone. but i'm also kind of paranoid because so much trolling has been going around recently like one video where someone tricked another person into using neopronouns that sounded like a slur when said out loud, recorded it, and put it online. i don't always know who is being sincere and who wants to trick people, particularly with nounself pronouns, like the pizzaself thing. finally, i wanted to go back to the topic of not telling my friends about my neopronouns yet. i feel like if i just start to put my neopronouns on profiles that my friends can view, it'll seem odd to them that i never said anything before, but i also don't know how to bring up in a personal conversation "i found out about some neopronouns i like and i've started using them" without it being awkward. i don't think my friends would make fun of me but i do think they'd find neopronouns 'weird' in general and maybe act kind of insensitive without meaning to, like not getting it. how would you react to the rude ppl? i know i could ignore them but i feel like they take that as them 'winning' or me running out of ways to defend my point of view. and how would you have your friends find out about about you wanting to use neopronouns?

#advice #mod karkat #discussion of anti-neopronouns #cw anti neopronouns #<-- for bl.#I DO USE NEOPRONOUNS MYSELF BUT IF I SAID SOMETHING WRONG OR OFFENSIVE HERE PLEASE CORRECT ME I KNOW IM NOT PERFECT HFJGJH. (SAYING THIS-#BECAUSE IT FEELS A LITTLE OFF BUT I CANNOT PINPOINT WHERE)

2 notes · View notes

offtopicoverload · 3 years

Note

how would your ideal LI season go?

oooh thank you anon this was really fun and definitely too long and entirely unrealistic because of all the variables but oh well i had fun lmao

Okay I’m just going to start by talking about LIs

I think one of Season 3’s biggest successes was making AJ available from the start, I think that definitely kept those who play for the girls interested

HOWEVER i also think we need one of each: an AJ, a Talia, and a Marisol

Someone you can couple up with right off the bat, someone that takes a bit of time to warm up, maybe around the halfway mark, and someone that isn’t available til the last or second to last recoupling, maybe because they’re only bicurious or its just in their character to take a while to warm up in general, they spent the season in friendship couples or blowing their shot because they didn’t want to move too quick

I know the amount of LIs in Season 2 is a huge attraction, but it obviously wasn’t maintainable, since so many LIs lost their personality after CA

Again, I think Season 3 did great on ideas, but bad execution on drama and actual plot

So I’d probably keep it about 9, maybe 10

And ideally one of them would be trans, probably a trans guy with top surgery scars. Someone makes a joke on the first day and he explains no problem, is open about it and his experiences, maybe he was kicked out as a teenager and is all about positivity and loving people for who they are because of it

I’m all on board for a enby or gnc character or MC, but I honestly think Love Island’s too binary for someone like that to thrive

OH! And an ace LI that’s probably sex neutral and really comfortable with it. They’re up front with their sexuality but have no problem with how sex-focused Love Island is, like they’re fine with the flirting and intimate stuff, they’re just not attracted at the end of the day

Or have this season’s slowburn female LI be demi? I’m not demi, only ace, so I can’t speak on that experience, but I think that might work pretty well, maybe she goes in knowing she’s demisexual and comes out of it knowing she’s demiromantic too? Id love that but idk

I want to touch on customization too, since there’s nowhere near enough

Definitely body types

I forget who said it, but have the typical thin type, a muscular type, and a plus sized

And don’t get me wrong, I know it’s extra work for the artists, but I personally think it’d be worth, but who knows

Make fantasy hair colours possible - blue, green, purple, pink, silver - with the type of variety S3 had, in a style closer to S2

Also tats! And piercings! Just like a septum or some ear piercing, maybe a lip, nothing too difficult

And allow for actually different personalities and careers

I get that most people who apply are going to be outgoing and influencers, but this is all fake anyway so who cares

Have your personality impact LIs, certain LIs are easier to get hearts with with a certain personality, while others have more negative reactions to that personality

Lot of coding but this is just my make believe, what’s the harm

Okay into each day

Id have 20 days, since I agree that that’s a pretty good sweet spot

And Im definitely on board with MC being a bombshell, but instead of introing her on the first day, Id do the second

First half of the episode is spent as a recap of the first day, 5 couples like usual, let’s call the Islanders Bobby, Harry, Camilo, Bill, Rohan, AJ, Talia, Elladine, Miki, and Erikah, I’ll explain later, it’s pretty much for one single reason each

So MC’s first day is the Islander’s second, she shows up like Lucas & Henrik, before all the Islanders are up, and she has an option to say hi to someone early, add a gem to be upfront about being interested or something, during the second half of the first episode

Second episode starts with all the Islanders finding MC and saying hi, whoever you chose to have a chat with’s partner is kinda salty, if you chose a guy

MC ends the day choosing between any of the guys and two of the girls, AJ and Talia

For the guys, like Season 3, three are endgame, ones a red herring like Rohan in Season 1, and one’s up front about it being a friendship couple from the start, since I definitely think we need actual friendship couples - this friendship couple guy is Bobby, but without the pushy crush

Rohan is initially interested, but like in Season 1, he gives it up after a while

AJ is super into it and happy if you pick her and has no problem with it, while Talia has a “no thanks” thing and makes you pick again

Basically, youre not supposed to pick Talia because she’s not open to that yet, and that tosses you off her route or makes it really difficult to fix, maybe only a few dialogue options over the next few days or a specific personality gets her to forgive you. If you don’t pick her, you can couple up later as normal

Day 2 is like it usually is, you’re LIs original partner starts grafting on your LI if you have a male LI, Bobby doesn’t care if you steal AJ, you just have to have a talk with him and he’s fine

You can attempt to reconcile with their original partner, and if you succeed they’ll stop, if not your LI will step in and tell her he’s not interested

Day 3 finds a whole Villa recouping with a dumping. If you have a female LI, then girls are choosing, and AJ will pick you, however there is no dumping for future numbers sake, I know it doesn’t make much sense for the guys to be safe but whatever

If you have a male LI, the boys are choosing. If youre with Bobby, you get stolen and have to help Bobby decide who to dump.

He’ll always choose to dump Miki, regardless of who your LIs ex was or what you say. His reasoning is that she hasn’t made a connection and she was accidentally mean to him once and this Bobby’s hella sensitive

Bobby kinda struggles with it and has a rough few days - You have the option to be sympathetic and keep him available as a friendship couple option, or be a jerk and lose the option to be in a friendship couple

Day 4 is a bit of a filler day, with a fun challenge and some actual conversations.

You learn about your LI and someone else of your choosing, whether that’s a friend, like Ell or Erikah, or another LI youre romancing, like Talia or another of the guys

This is the first time Talia starts to be honest with MC about maybe fancying her and being open to seeing what happens

Day 5 has bombshells: a guy and a girl. The girl is our Marisol of this season, which can also explain away why she’s so slow to open up, she feels like an outcast since she came late and MC can empathise better than anyone which is how they initially bond

The guy is also a LI, but far more bold than Marisol, he has no trouble grafting in front of MC’s LI and trying to steal her or win her over - I’m just going to call him Lucas

Day 6 has another boys’ choice disaster recouping, but with the threat of a dumping on an AJ route

No matter how you reacted to Lucas’ flirting, he picks MC, whether you were going to couple up with him or not, he still steals you from your LI just like Season 2, for simplicity’s sake

The other couples get mixed up, a Nope-adjacent couple are split up, let’s say Erikah and Camilo, but they don’t make it all about them. One of the girls had been pining after a guy but he chooses someone else even though she’s available (Elladine, but Bobby’s oblivious), the girl Bobby was planning to couple up with gets stolen (Talia, but regardless of your route, she doesn’t fancy him), so he couples with Marisol

On a male LI route there is no dumping because the couples are already even

On an AJ route, Rohan is the deciding factor between AJ and Miki. Miki is always dumped because she was barely involved the past few days and Bill isn’t that interested in her even though they were coupled up

Day 7 is the start of Casa Amor, but much shorter this time. Two of the guys are endgame - let’s say Arjun and Carl, two are interested in other girls - let’s say Graham and Nicky, and there’s one you CAN get with, but cheats and gets dumped later on, essentially a Rocco, and one just isn’t interested, another friendship couple opportunity if you don’t want to share with one of the LIs - let’s say Seb

Day 8 is still Casa, you get to know the boys or can crack on with any of the female LIs, though this is still applicable to Day 7

You get a chance to either commit to AJ further or say you want a break to crack on with someone else

If you reassure her, she’ll pie off all the guys and you can stay on the daybed together, essentially ignoring the disaster recoupling and pretending youre still together. But if you dump her, she’ll crack on with Seb if you’re not paired with him, and Arjun if you are, just as a sort of revenge

During CA you can get closer with Talia, cheeky winks in public and getting kinda nasty during a challenge

You get sneaky scenes with Marisol where you learn where her head is at and how she has a hard time opening up and letting people in. You can reassure her and say you’ll be patient or pie her off and she’ll get with the season’s Graham, though they’ll have a different dynamic and ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE AS A COUPLE

Im sorry but boaty mcboat face and MARISOL?? i just dont get it, im sorry

You can graft on Arjun & Carl, tell them where your head is at, and they’re far less pushy

They try to impress but they’re not like poking you until you tell them you’ll take them back to the Villa like in S2

Day 9 is the final day of Casa, with a stick or switch

You can take back Arjun, Carl, Seb, or Rocco, although Seb is a platonic option but you can pair with him the rest of the season as aromantic representation

AJ never switches to save Rohan, and to be loyal if youre on her route

Talia doesn’t switch no matter the route, she spent Casa just hanging out which honestly isn’t the best idea outside of her route

Erikah switches, because like Season 1 Erikah, her head turns quickly, it’s just a matter of time. She switches to Rocco if you’re not on his route, and Arjun if you are. This is going to absolutely blow up in her face

Elladine switches because she gets worried Bobby will, picks Nicky and they actually get on really well

Marisol switches to Graham if youre not on her route to stay safe again, though they dont last anyway, and sticks if you are because she spent Casa with MC instead of the guys

Bobby sticks cuz Bobby

Harry always switches to someone, let’s call her Cherry cuz why not

Camilo sticks to get back with MC or Erikah - Erikah switched, effectively dumping him and really upsetting him

Rohan switches to someone, lets call her Shannon, no matter the route

Bill always sticks

Lucas switches to someone, lets call her Blake, no matter what, just for simplicity’s sake and because I’m already ripping from S2 so who cares

Day 10 is aftermath, much like Season 2

You can talk with your previous LI,

Day 11 has a massive dumping where you vote to save a few people

One of the original Villa boys stays, Camilo is the default but if youre on Harry or Bill’s route, they’ll fill his place

Rohan and Bobby survive

If you brought back a Casa boy, you pick between him and Lucas to be dumped

If you didn’t, Lucas is safe automatically

Rocco/Arjun survive, they’re coupled with Erikah

Either Nicky survives to stay with Elladine or Graham is saved for Marisol if she brought him back, Nicky automatically survives if not

For the girls, Erikah, Elladine, Marisol, and MC are safe

You vote between Cherry, Blake, Shannon on who to save, Shannon is the encouraged option because her and Rohan are actually really cute, but he’ll be nice to any of the girls for the rest of the season

You have to vote between AJ and Talia, sorry queers, i hate it too

Day 12 has a recouping where Talia is finally available if you saved her after everything from Casa Amor

You can reunite with your LI from pre-CA or simply stick to youre CA pick, it’s girls choice, MC is somewhere in the middle

Day 13 has two bombshells - both guys, let’s call them Levi and Tai

Levi grafts hard on MC whereas Tai takes a backseat and MC has to go to him instead if shes interested

Day 14 is a grafting day, you can graft and bond with your LI, Levi, Tai, or Marisol

Day 15 is the second to last recoupling, where you can get with every LI

If youre romancing Marisol, you have a fight in the morning because she still won’t commit and she hasn’t really had an drama on her route yet

Day 16 is an explosion of drama

It’s another Roccogate but on an even bigger scale

If you’re on Rocco’s route, you suffer the backlash, and if you’re not, Erikah does but it still blows back to MC in order to keep her involved

Rocco makes a move on Erikah when MC’s with him, and MC when Erikah is. If he makes a move on MC, she can reciprocate or blatantly shut him down and Erikah will always reciprocate it when he’s coupled with MC because whaddaya know her head can turn at the littlest thing

If he made a move on MC, she can tell her LI who will chew him out privately, or keep it to herself

They basically get caught in the act by Levi, who doesn’t say anything until the afternoon - a lie detector that reveals a bunch of stuff, ill discuss later

He’s asked if he has any drama and he lies, saying no but eventually spills that Rocco made a move on MC/Erikah, and regardless of whether MC reciprocated or not, he says she did

If MC’s with Rocco, she can attack Erikah until someone steps in, maybe Bobby? Or Arjun? and reasons with her. She can get most of the Villa on her side about Rocco being a prick - except for Levi, no matter what, he’ll always side with Rocco and say it’s part of the show

If MC’s not with Rocco and denied him, her LI will accuse her of lying and she’ll have to essentially win them back by the next day or try and get Rocco to clear her name, which she can if they have a high relationship

And if MC didn’t deny him, her LI will dump her on the spot if they have a low relationship, or still win them back if they have a high relationship - but it will still be remembered

Back to the lie detector

There’s the typical S1 questions, cheating is revealed, you can commit to your LI

BUT

If youre on a Marisol route, your LI asks you about her and MC has to confess, which drives a rift between her and Marisol because yeah

y i k e s

Day 17 is the final recoupling

Marisol basically storms into the kitchen when MCs making breakfast and says they’re coupling up and just leaves again. MC has the option to be like “yeah okay, chill” and go back to her breakfast or “what the fuck? no” and chase after her and pie her off

If you don’t pie her off, she chooses MC herself, because that scene in S2 is just really cute and I want another

There’s a double dumping of two boys - Levi and Rocco, and you have no say in it

Erikah, MC, or her LI will essentially turn the Villa against Rocco, while a few of the Islanders resent Levi for his take, mainly the girls

It’s a couple vote, and even if you vote for someone else, they still get dumped because they have the most votes

Day 18 is filler and fluff, meet the parents and final dates, with a surprise dumping where you can get a say and can help them pack, but its a strictly platonic goodbye

There’s so many possibilities and I don’t feel like listing them out right now, but it’s a single couple between three at-risk ones

Day 19 another surprise dumping, why not stick with prom? I just really dig the art, and but maybe make it closer to Season 2? And more personalized speeches!!!

And have a Lottie/Hannah moment!

Idk who all would be here, I don’t feel like listing it out, but I think I have all the dumpings listed below the cut

You can pick between both people dumped who you want to help pack, and can have a moment with either of them, opening a “runaway” option after the finale or reunion

Day 20 is the finale, with the Islanders gossiping and stressing in the morning as some filler content

The afternoon is the announcement, and your placement depends on your couple - If you were loyal the entire time you were with them and have a max relationship you get 1st, if you were loyal but dont have max hearts, you get 2nd, if you weren’t loyal but still have max hearts, you get 3rd, and if you have neither you get 4th

If you win, your LI gets the money no matter what and it’s not based on relationship, it’s based on where in the relationship you are - if MC agreed to be their girlfriend on Day 18, they split the money, and if MC didn’t, then they don’t see a future and keep it

The last episode is the finale party with options to dump your LI for good, make plans to move in, reconcile and explain why MC didn’t say yes on Day 18, or get with someone else entirely

Oh and I want two of the dumped guys to show up together and have started dating outside of the Villa

Cuz I can’t think of another opportunity for mlm in this chaos

This is really messy so I’m going to list out couplings under the cut to try and make sense of this, I think I got everything but probably not its a disaster

LIs

Day 1 - MC or Bobby or Single

Day 3 - MC or Bobby or Bill

Day 6 - Rohan

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Talia

Day 1 - Rohan or Single

Day 3 - Rohan or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo

Day 9 - Camilo

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Marisol

Day 6 - Bobby

Day 9 - Single or Graham

Day 12 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 14 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 17 - MC or Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Harry

Day 1 - MC or Elladine

Day 3 - MC or Elladine

Day 6 - Elladine

Day 9 - Cherry

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Camilo

Day 1 - MC or Erikah

Day 3 - MC or Erikah

Day 6 - Talia

Day 9 - Talia

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Bill

Day 1 - MC or Miki

Day 3 - MC or Miki or Elladine/Erikah

Day 6 - Erikah

Day 9 - Single

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Lucas

Day 6 - MC or Erikah

Day 9 - MC or Blake

Day 12 - Blake

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Erikah or Dumped

Arjun

Day 9 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Carl

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Tai

Day 14 - MC or Single or Elladine

Day 17 - MC or Erikah

Rocco

Day 9 - MC or Erikah

Day 12 - MC or Erikah

Day 14 - MC or Erikah

Day 17 - Dumped

Levi

Day 14 - MC or Single

Day 17 - Dumped

Other Islanders

Elladine

Day 1 - Harry or Single

Day 3 - Harry or Bill

Day 6 - Harry

Day 9 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 12 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 14 - Nicky or

Day 17 - Nicky or Tai

Erikah

Day 1 - Camilo* or Single

Day 3 - Camilo* or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo or

Day 9 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 12 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 14 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 17 - Tai or Lucas/Casa

Miki

Day 1 - Bill or Single

Day 3 - Bill or Dumped

Day 6 - Bill or Dumped

Day 9 - Dumped

Day 12 - Dumped

Day 14 - Dumped

Day 17 - Dumped

Shannon

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Blake

Day 9 - Lucas

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Cherry

Day 9 - Harry

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan Dumped

Bobby

Day 1 - AJ or MC or Single

Day 3 - AJ or MC or

Day 6 - Marisol

Day 9 - Marisol or Single

Day 12 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Day 14 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol or Single

Day 17 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Rohan

Day 1 - Talia or MC

Day 3 - Talia or MC

Day 6 - AJ

Day 9 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 12 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 14 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 17 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Graham

Day 9 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 12 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - Marisol or Dumped

Seb

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Nicky

Day 9 - Elladine

Day 12 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 14 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 17 - Elladine or Dumped

#asks #can it kc #also definitely stole this format from bubblybabynailpolish cuz they're hcs are iconic but shush #thank you anon and sorry for whatever this is #litg

18 notes · View notes

ofmerrit · 3 years

Text

* ◜ kristine froseth , cis woman & she/her ◞ * according to school records , that’s merrit antonietta unn hornsby walking on campus grounds with their usual iced-americano from the ancient grounds cafe . they’re known for their long , dark blonde locks outshining their surprisingly tall figure and are often spotted at the versailles garden reading wild geese by mary oliver . almost everyone knows their family is worth like 1.2 billion dollars , so we suspect they’re a member of olympus , you know , the one for old money . do you know where they were the night that the scholarship student died ? they claim they were touring around the campus for inspiration , must be an architecture major thing , right . and hey , don’t you agree that the sophomore reminds you of muffled screams into silk pillows , the bellyache you get after doing something wrong & vacant smiles ? you better watch out h e s t i a before something dangerous happens to you and life ends at twenty-two . * ◜ barb , twenty-two , gmt +3 & she / her ◞ *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics : full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc. code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity. star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising. sexuality: bisexual. favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver , an anthology . “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more.

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps. kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me

can’t say no <3 if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth .

an overachiever . doesn��t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ???

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk

penpals - seriously ??? i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know.

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl

#hqcruel.intro #oke im bit late .. or early idk asdhfkls #no proof reading <3 if u spot stuff .#baby im nt even here . im a hallucination #sdghjfk .. so bad . le shité . i did this . for what ??#tw kidnapping #tw death #intro.

8 notes · View notes

leafy-wings · 4 years

Note

How would you get into WoF roleplays?

apologies, im not quite sure how to read this one- if you mean “how did I get into wof rps”, ive listed that below, as well as general tips in being better at getting into wof rps, and at the very end if your information on the topic at a total zero. i slowly backpedalled from how much i thought youd know about wof rp lol...

ive been in a good number of wof rps- six or so? but three of them were run by me. ill try to detail them below, but i have very bad memory- actually, i dissociate and have memory loss very often. the patchy spots sometimes get put in the wrong places, so i might be wrong. i hope my summaries provide something, and ill add more at the bottom about joining

- my first wof rp was refuge and rouges, run by me

- my second wof rp was just this year, the destined. id seen the chosen in the past and found the destined (i think it was a recommended blog) right before it started. followed and got notifs and joined from there

- not chronological but being in the destined allowed me to be in the legends and the moonborn

- then i made the royal division

- then i joined pyrrhia pantala au on deviantart, i had joined a few wof groups to get my posts more attention and i think i saw pyrrhia pantala from there, but joining it i think was actually when i looked up on deviantart group search about wof rps

- i joined sundown falls on dA too, but it hasnt gone anywhere yet

- i made another rp of my own, the animus code

- briefly entered an rp which i think was accepting every applicator and immediately fell apart

SUMMARY: dA groups are much more forgiving. While they’ll generally have a time frame for acceptance, all you need to do is fill stuff out and if you do it right you WILL be accepted unless it’s filled up/they need something specific. story based roleplays, usually over discord, require a LOT of luck in finding the RP while apps are open (ive missed SITS twice now and only found out they had apps open THE HOUR they closed). its very helpful if you can find people involved in wof rp and ask them if they know any wof rps soon to come. and if you mean how do you compete in getting into wof rps (because yknow, you have to submit characters and only a few will be accepted).... i dont know. every group ive applied to so far has gotten in. i think being able to draw well makes your character look very catchy and draw the host to em. i think its very important too to make an interesting character while not going over the line- give your character a motif. like, jewels is that hes been trained from birth against the apocolypse. whirlpool is constantly living a facade. orius lives for other people, poison ivy does vigilante justice, etc etc. worst thing i see in wof rps, from judging apps myself, is people who make their characters just... normal. if the backstory is “they grew up in this town with both of their parents and now theyre here” you are really going to be ignored.

if you mean “i dont understand wof RP, how does it function?” (ill answer this for tumblr)- find yourself a blog that runs a wings of fire roleplay/follow an artist whos announced theyre planning one and see the rules from there. mostly therell be a few information posts you have to read about the premise, rules for characters, and rules for the player, along with an application. fill it out and make sure you keep in mind the rules, and follow the rules as listed for the specific group on what to do after- some want you to publically post your app and @ the blog or simply tag it some way, some want you to message them your app, etc etc. from there youll either be linked to the discord or not

4 notes · View notes

mangelak0s · 4 years

Text

Idfc.

Hi! I’m going to post fics in here too, and I hope you like them. :)

I have commissions open!! If you can share and/or buy something would be awesome! Songfics are in promotion sknddskn you can see the prices and all of the stuff here! <3

Warnings: Angst.

This is in AO3 as well. :)

Normally, it was best to take a pencil and paper.

In that way you can write all your feelings, all your joys, your laughter, your sorrows, your miseries.

But... A letter would not read it.

And James wanted to make it clear why this had happened.

Was he a bad person doing that? By making his feelings clear?

No, right?

He just ... He wanted to say goodbye in some other way.

He took his cell phone, opened notes and sighed, beginning.

“Do you remember when you said that you loved me with all your soul, and that you never will hurt me?

Ha.

I think everything was fine, you know? I ... I believe in that fantasy.

That's the truth and the fantasy I lived for years.

But you never cared.

You never cared, you didn't care, right?

Thomas, I'm ... I was crazyly in love with you.

I would have given my life for you.

But I was never enough for you.

Look me in the face and tell me everything you feel, hypocrite.

You took my heart, you pretended to love it, to take care of it, and then to crush it.

Everything can be arranged, except a broken heart.

Do you remember all those romantic moments we had? All that hypocrisy, that lie in which you kept me living?

now I don't give a shit.

now... now i changed, Thomas.

although... i still need you as the stupid that I am.

i can't live in peace.

you are the only thing I think.

you're my day to day, and, shit, I hate it.

I hate you!

i hate you.

i... i hate you.

i...

i love you...

i can not do this, thomas, i dont even have the strength to capitalize, do you see how sad i am?

why did you have to finish everything like that?

why did you have to hurt me so much?

...why did you cheat me?

you... you don't know how this feels.

write this in the notes of my phone to send it later, it seems suicide note, hahaha. i never thought id get to this, but, thomas.

you were always everything I had.

you were everything to me.

and you let me fall.

how did you think I was going to recover from this?

how do you think I can keep looking at your face after all?

i... i cant take it anymore, thomas, i dont give more.

you promised me a beautiful future, and what did you give me?

tell me, thomas, what the fuck did you give me?

this.

this is happening now.

let me stop fighting for my life.

let me stop fighting for you.

i can not anymore. im not strong anymore.

im damaged.

im broken.

and they cant fix me.

i can not take it anymore, god, i have trouble breathing, my eyes are swollen, i can barely see, my head hurts in a horrible way.

you are not the person i met years ago.

you are... you are someone... bad.

i cant tell you anything, i cant sleep in the same bed as you, is not it funny? is not my life funny?

so much disgust do i give so that the only person i have ever loved and will always love, just play with me?

you said you do not give a shit about my life.

you said you didt give a shit.

you sent me to hell.

did you think i would recover easily?

what a forgiveness would solve everything?

no, thomas, things dont work that way.

i feel broken.

sad.

crushed, troubled?

melancholic, nostalgic, bitter, depressed, and all the synonyms you find.

some will think that this is a hasty decision, that everything can change, but... no.

this would be an endless cycle, and... i do not want you to hit me.

my hands are shivering, what does that mean?

it had never happened to me before.

i... i think i should finish this here, hahah.

you will never see me again, and i will never be a burden to you again.

nor for anyone.

the saddest thing of all?

I still love you with all my heart.”

James copied all that, and without reading it again, he sent it to Thomas as is.

There were two possibilities; he could read it before James's depression and his panic attack overtook him, or...

Or that he would arrive the next day at the apartment they shared, and find him... Dead... On the bed.

He was working all night, and he doesn't lie when he says that.

He never took his cell phone.

And now... He feel how his life went extinct.

He ran to James, trying to take his pulse, crying more than he could, trying to kiss him to see if he could somehow revive him, but... Nothing.

James used to have certain episodes of paranoia that he couldn't control except with pills. That should be the only... The only answer to this.

Thomas went to the bathroom as fast as he could, trying not to fall or crash because of how dizzy he was, and he looked for the pills.

Sure, how had he not noticed before? He didn't take them since a week ago.

One week was enough to take away everything he had loved in life.

He screamed, throwing the pills away, causing the jar to break the mirror and shattering it into many pieces.

“Will you remember me?”, he heard James's voice, and looked around. “Be happy, Thomas.”

Now he was hallucinating?

“I'm sorry about everything, but at least I can rest.”

His voice became constant.

And close.

Thomas sat on the side of the shower, put his head between his legs and began to cry and scream.

James' voice was still talking, and Thomas couldn't take it anymore.

He was everything he loved in life, and what was he going to do without the only thing that motivated him to continue?

He stopped, still with the sweet sound of James' voice in his ears, and he went where he was.

He approached, while crying, took his cell phone and found two notes.

The first one was the one that had sent him, and the second was... It was when James was... “Fine.”

In it he asked forgiveness for everything, for what he was going to do - he had done, and for not being able to continue with him.

Everyone knows the Romeo and Juliet novel, right?

Everyone knows that love can kill.

And, this was another one of those cases.

I don't think I have to keep telling more, since the story of both ended there.

#jeffmads #modern au #hamilton #thomas jefferson #james madison

22 notes · View notes

thisdreamplace · 3 years

Note

Hii. Two people in my family r v self-righteous. They make unreasonable requests, then when those 'requests' arnt met obvii, they get v... You'll see

Many times they do things that exclude the certain person they're 'targeting' and will pretend its the other person (the target) who's acting wrong. Theyll team up and exclude the target, and if you mention this, they get v defensive and together lash out against the speaker, listijg long random details of how the speaker did so and so. And most of it is, frankly, unfair and unreasonable 'reasons'

Ive been the target, and so have others in my family. But these two refuse to get how hurtful and self-righteous their actions are! I say self righteous becaus they literally are convinced they have the 'right' to 'act' this way, as it seems so justified in their eyes. I can't deal with this, esp as it's a sensitice tkpic and in the past id fall into their guilt traps and as a result had near zero esteem + became a pushover at school. I'd think if im not being of use to anyonez or if I say no, it's so wrong and I'm a bad guy who has to suffer for that. Thanks to these Law blogs on tumbler and other things ive learned... That thinking is so victim-y blegh. Good for me, lol

Things in my family, as u can guess, aren't that great, thanks to this weird clique-ish behavjor, and other reasons too. But this reason, it's not only me who's facing this behavior? It's others too? And frankly idec abt this behavior that much coz I'm used to it and i am trying to see it as a challenge to improve my self concept eg realising it shouldn't really matter to me if I'm excluded and they make plans w/o me. Why shd I let myself get hurt? I can use this to realise im the one who can create and besides, I've been working on an assumption in which I'm leaving this place (not much success thereyet, but im spinning this in a positive way, if evrything is neutral!)

Ik why this happens to me - it's evry time I accept my olf assumptions on them acting this way, this creates more of the old story-- but why does it happen to others too? Or how can I make them realise wth they're doing? Theyre only damaging themselves anyway :(

Sorry for being all over the place

And also, I said im working on my self concept, so I found out some major beliefs I had, and while meditating i discovered this random old memory from when I was a child ig which I think is where I started to buy into me being guilty and ashamed of who I am. Ik this stuff is what they call shadow work but still do u know where I can go from here? How do I work with this awful memory? To like put it away forever, coz I thought being aware of it would be enough, but it isnt. Some say forgive urself, and the others in the memory, but idk it doesn't seem to work for me. I don't feel relief. Do u have experience with this? Or do u have a resource u could share with me that deals with this safely?

Ok bye bye luvv u

Hi!

Firstly I want to say I'm sorry this is something you are experiencing. But thanks to the law, you have the power to change it for good.

That being said, I think this is why it's really important to go all in when you come to the law of assumption. It's a lot deeper than just manifesting things. You can't be one foot in, one foot out when it comes to the law. You have to acknowledge all the concepts and learn how to apply them. You're experiencing a lot more grief over this topic, because of how you're not applying "everyone is you pushed out." Taking full responsibility for every aspect of the law, and therefore every aspect of your life, will lead you to the solutions you're seeking.

"but why does it happen to others too? Or how can I make them realise wth they're doing?"

It's not happening to anyone else. It's only happening to you and you're experiencing it happening to "others" because of how you're keeping this reality alive. You don't have to make them realize anything, not by force anyway. All you have to do is go within. There is no one to change but self. Period. There's a really good article that could help you get on the right track with this:

No One To Change But Self

When it comes to that memory, from my experience the best I could ever do is let it be and know how it means nothing anymore. Even if it still hurts. The thing is, self concept work has more to do with building self confidence. And this confidence lies in remembering who you really are: God of your reality. The more you focus on that instead, the pain surrounding the memory will begin to dissolve on it's own. Because you know how anything not aligned with love just simply isn't the truth anymore. I think this following article could be helpful in giving you an idea on how to navigate difficult inner moments.

Self Acceptance

I hope this is helpful! 💖

#eiypo #i am

1 note · View note