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#I started drawing this at the time of night I really should have been going to bed
cheetahing · 2 days
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fic meme fill for @orchisailsa for the prompt: Post-canon DFS being uncharacteristically sweet and trying to kiss LLH in the kitchen to distract him while FDB sneaks behind them to try to salvage whatever he's attempting to cook
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di feisheng waves smoke out of his face, frowning into lotus tower's kitchen. he doesn't know what exactly li lianhua is cooking up, but he doubts it's anything good. while his regular fare has improved, regaining his sense of taste has, if anything, made him more enthusiastic about his culinary experiments. di feisheng has even deigned to subject himself to some of them, mostly due to li lianhua's increasingly outrageous flirtations. while his indifferent mask and iron stomach are basically invincible, di feisheng can't say he's enjoyed the experience.
fang duobing, on the other hand, in the event of his visits, has neither of di feisheng's advantages and therefore is reduced to begging him for help. more often than not he plays along, simply because he enjoys having something to hold over fang duobing's head. today, fang duobing looks at him with pleading eyes and a series of hand gestures that make di feisheng scoff. still, he wades into the smoking kitchen and draws li lianhua away from the stove by the hips.
"xiangyi," he says, pulling li lianhua far enough away from whatever he's cooking to give fang duobing space to doctor it as he sees fit, "do you really have to go through so much trouble just because the brat is here?" fang duobing makes a face at him over li lianhua's shoulder, but di feisheng ignores him in favor of the bright smile beaming up at him from li lianhua's face.
"a'fei," he says, practically glowing, "i've told you before you don't need to be jealous of xiaobao. this is simply what a teacher should do for his student."
di feisheng purses his lips, mainly to keep from smiling. while he can't deny occasionally being possessive of li lianhua's time and attention, these little shows of jealousy are, more often than not, simply because they make li lianhua happy. "you've been cooking more every night he's been here," he says, because that's probably why fang duobing has reached the end of his endurance.
"his wife keeps him on a tight leash, he doesn't get to come that often," li lianhua says in his most reasonable tone, "i should spoil him when i can."
"are you sure that's what you're doing," di feisheng can't help asking, cognizant of the offended pause in fang duobing's frantic flailing at the stove even without looking at him directly.
"of course," li lianhua says, entirely sincere, "my shifu cooked for me every time i visited after i left yunyin mountain."
"ah," di feisheng says, because there's not much he can say to that.
"now stop distracting me," li lianhua says, starting to turn back toward the stove, "dinner will burn." well, that won't do.
"xiangyi," di feisheng repeats, and reels him back in to kiss. li lianhua relaxes into it after almost immediately, arms coming up to wrap around di feisheng's neck. he lets di feisheng's tongue nudge past his lips, sighing and tilting his head cooperatively, and for a moment they both indulge in the contact.
"what's gotten into you," li lianhua says, looking quite thoroughly kissed when di feisheng finally pulls back. behind him, fang duobing gives di feisheng a thumbs up as he scuttles out of the kitchen.
"nothing," di feisheng, letting his hands skim up and then down li liannhua's side before he reluctantly lets go. "can't i be affectionate?"
li lianhua laughs, presses another quick kiss to the corner of di feisheng's mouth, and turns back to the stove. he picks up the wooden spoon, tasting the contents of a steaming pot. "oh," he says, smiling, "not bad at all."
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polkadotdragonx · 7 months
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Fanart for the fanfiction Through the Ice by Tallihensia.
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cakesdown · 1 year
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Being on vacation really just hammers in the fact that humans are supposed to be relaxing and doing things at their own pace in order to flourish and be healthy. Why the fuck do you think vacation is so relaxing it's bc you're away from the shit jobs we're forced to be in
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ourdykeofsorrows · 1 year
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. (Vent)
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kerink · 1 year
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in light of people's confusion over cecil's longevity in @sexymanotd i wanted to document a bit of his history for those unfamiliar or nostalgic
welcome to night vale is a podcast written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. cecil gerschwin palmer is the main character and voiced by cecil baldwin.
it debuted on june 15, 2012 it reached its peak in popularity in 2013-2014
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despite this, wtnv has been one of tumblr's top fandoms since staff started tracking fandom-related data in 2014
for the longest time the only thing we knew about cecil's appearance was: "He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short. Not thin or fat." and that wasn't until episode 19 which aired march 15, 2013. for almost a full year we had no idea what cecil looked like. so tumblr's collective unconscious kicked into high gear and we did what we do best
we created a tumblr sexyman
from know your meme: "Defining traits of the archetype include skinny body type, trickster or villain role and dapper clothing."
know your meme identifies wheatley (portal 2, 2011) and the onceler (the lorax, 2012) as being likely tumblr's first sexymen. and the onceler fandom was at its peak in 2012-2013, the same time as wtnv. in addition to this, the hannibal fandom has been cited as one of the contributing factors to wtnv's success on tumblr.
so tumblr had created an archetype that worked and the wtnv fandom was made up of mostly hannibal fans - the foundation for putting cecil in a suit was there. and honestly? cecil's at work in the show, why wouldn't he be well dressed?
however, while this explains his attire it doesn't explain some of cecil's more unique sexyman features, namely the tentacles. for this we have to return to the 2014 fandom review analysis where you can see the most popular fandom at the time: homestuck
haven't you ever wondered why almost a quarter (189/923 at time of writing) of E rated wtnv fics on ao3 are tagged tentacles or tentacle sex? why cecil having tentacles for a dick is such a seemingly popular headcanon? well look no further then homestuck cultural hold over.
throughout all of this, the development of the sexyman archetype on tumblr and the rise of homestuck, one creator really stands out: kinomatika
kino was one of the most popular homestuck artists on tumblr at the time, popular for their eridan fanart. if you google image search "welcome to night vale" kino's art is still one of the first results you'll get
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their design was so popular in fact it was featured in wtnv related articles from the time
and yes there were absolutely other artists giving cecil tentacles and moving tattoos at the time, but it can't be understated the reach kino had and the influence their homestuck roots had on their design choices
i recommend going through the archive of @nightvaleartclub to see how cecil used to be portrayed back in the early days. unfortunately the earliest fanart i've been able to find is july 2013 and i find it hard to believe it took tumblr a year to draw him. although, i started listening at episode 5 and didn't start drawing him until then myself so who knows...
cecil has had tumblr's heart in a vice grip since episode 1, with "20,000 posts, 183,000 blogs and 680,000 notes using the #Night Vale tag" during its first week. tumblr's love for wtnv has always been fairly genuine, from the impact the writing has had on tumblr humor and future story telling, to how wtnv paved the way for lgbt+ representation in indi media, to how it popularized podcasts as a medium for story telling, to the little comforts some of cecil's quotes still bring people today
cecil is not only a founding father of tumblr culture, but also a blorbo of the people. cecil the character in canon has a tumblr account where he posts his art and slash fanfiction.
although cecil's character has developed over time and we've come to see what a ditzy, eccentric, brat he really is, changing his status from sexyman to babygirl, cecil is absolutely a character you should embrace. and you know what... despite what i've said in the past
#cecilsweep
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[ID: Images one and two are Google analytic graphs for the search terms "welcome to night vale" and "wtnv" between June 15, 2015 and January 27, 2023. They both depict very sharp spikes around 2013-2014 until the lines decrease greatly over time.
Image three is a drawing of Cecil from Welcome To Nightvale. He is white, with white hair, glasses, a third eye on his forehead, and he is wearing a suit. In the background is the silhouette of a neighborhood from the WTNV official art, a galaxy, and a moon. It is tinted purple. Image four is the always has been meme. Instead of the earth is the tumblr logo, and the text is: “a wtnv fansite?” “Always has been”. End ID] id thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose
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strangesem · 11 months
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hobie brown x shy/quiet!reader headcanons
spider-punk x reader this is not a drill
long as hell I’m so sorry
a/n: reader is mentioned as being a mom friend but imo that can be gender neutral so this can still be read by anyone!! if that makes you uncomfortable though please skip this post :)
I also imagine hobie as being 19-ish so it’s kinda implied reader lives alone but can def be read as younger!!
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most people didn’t notice you at first.
you were quiet; really quiet. you’d mumble your thank you’s, whisper apologies, and generally go out of your way not to interact with people as a whole.
I feel like that gentleness/softness would almost draw hobie to you though?
he’d definitely first meet you as spider-man; saving you from some sort of robber or attacker. and then he’d see you be so shy about thanking him and apologizing as if it was your fault??? he finds it sweet but also kinda concerning for you tbh
and over time he begins to notice you more and more during his patrols; something about you just draws him in.
he definitely likes that you don’t try to tell him or others what to do lol
after talking to you enough as spider-man, and you start to open up, he begins to like you even more
you listen to some of the music he likes? your humour?? not to mention how genuine you are???
(also very useful if you happen to be a “mom friend” type who keeps first aid, candy, etc on you at all times!! he’d definitely appreciate a lollipop to help with the pressure changes while swinging around or a bandage for his cuts)
speaking of which if you ARE the type to have those things on you he may start seeking you out if/when he gets hurt
and after that even when he’s not tbh he’ll just pretend to have a headache and eat some of your candy on your couch lmao-
one time though he comes with wounds a little too serious looking for the standard wet cloth and bandaid treatment you had been used to; and it scares you
you raise your voice a bit louder than he’d ever heard, in a scared tone that was different than your normal anxious voice, and you tell him he should probably definitely go to a hospital
“but I like you so much better” he leans in a little too close, holding on to you a little too tight to keep himself steady, and you suddenly realize the reality of you situation
spider-man is in your living room. he’s bleeding a lot. and you’re the first person he thought to come to; because he likes you? not like that obviously- unless it is like that? NO. people barely even notice you, no one would ever feel like that type of thing for-
“you’re staring” you can feel the shit eating grin on his face; it’s practically burning through his mask
you stutter out an apology and after stammering around for a moment you get him to sit down and do your best to treat his injuries
you can tell the disinfectant stings by the way he flinches whenever you apply it, as well as his teasing that he “thought you were supposed to be nicer than the nurses” but he does his best to sit still and let you dress all of his wounds
you both remain still for a moment, and you think you can feel his eyes on you but you’re too scared to look up. your hands are shaking; they have been this whole time.
“that’s everywhere right? I didn’t miss something?”
he takes off his mask to look you in the eye and tell you he’s okay but you’re just like ????
:O
ANYWAYS you are once again staring bc you now know spider-man’s identity???
I feel like he’s gently hold your face and just give you a quick peck to make sure he wasn’t crossing any boundaries
but if you kiss him back? he’s NEVER stopping
he’ll start randomly crawling through your window with excuses of missing you or wanting to show you something
and soon he’s staying the night at your place or he’s swinging you over to his so you can stay with him
I think dates would definitely be super chill and more like hanging out at each others places than anything else
but if he does a show for his music he’d definitely want you there!!
he’d also probably pick you up and start swinging around the city with no warning just for the way you’ll grab on to him so tightly-
but ofc is you asked him not to he’d stop immediately!
doesn’t get super jealous or anything, he’s a pretty chill guy, but he will get sorta bothered if someone’s aggressively pursuing you even after knowing you two are together
like if someone doesn’t know and flirts with you he’s just like “yeah I’m lucky”
but if someone ever went so far to imply you should be unfaithful and/or should leave him he’d probably tell them to back off and either leave with you or put his arm around your shoulder and glare at them until they leave
either way he’s not starting any fights or anything though; he’s super comfortable in your relationship and hopes you are too
genuinely thinks you’re the most beautiful/handsome person ever like he WILL flex to the other spider-people if relationships come up
he’s really not in to pda though; he’ll put his arm around your shoulders/waist but that’s it. maybe hand holding depending on the situation.
but when you guys are alone he likes physical touch; don’t expect to be on top of each other or anything but having your/his head rested on the others lap or him just resting his hand on your leg is pretty common
he’s also not very big into gifts (he doesn’t buy into the capitalist need for abundance and all that) but he does like giving you jewellery/other wearable items bc he likes to see a reminder of himself/your relationship on you
pls make him a bracelet or something he’ll literally never take it off (also jewellery for any of his piercings is fair game)
he values small intimate things in a relationship; like painting each others nails, listening to each other rant about things you’re passionate about, etc
overall he may not be big and showy but he’s an amazing boyfriend and would love you like a lot
he’d also definitely write songs about/for you bc you’re so important to him and he wants the whole world to know that :((
I haven’t written fanfiction in forever but if anyone has any hobie requests I could write as headcanons I’m open to them!! :)
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gojipink · 1 month
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privilege
ஐ ft. diluc
ஐ summary. giving diluc a blowjob so good, he revokes your bj card :(
ஐ warnings. N*SFW, mdni, fem!reader, deep throating, fem. pet names. 1.4k words
ஐ notes. part of my bj mini series! check out more parts here ✧˖°.
“waitwaitwaitwait,” diluc catching your arm, stopping your trail of kisses down his stomach as you peer up at him through your eyelashes. 
he swallows thickly, mind reeling from your ministrations, a little embarrassed at how he’s found himself to be on the receiving end of your love. undressed to only his boxer briefs, laying flat on his back as you slide down his body, worshiping every inch of skin in your path downwards.
“what’s wrong, ‘luc?” you ask as you plant an innocent kiss at the start of his v-line. 
to be honest, you knew exactly what you were doing. diluc has been so busy, so stressed out recently that you wanted to take a night to focus on him. to let him receive even half as much love and pleasure that you receive from him on an almost nightly basis. you knew exactly what you were doing when you straddled him on the bed, giving his lips a searing kiss as you slowly pushed him back to lay his head down on the plush pillows. making him so distracted by your onslaught of hot, wet kisses down his jaw and neck that he wouldn't notice what you were trying to accomplish. 
“my love,” he calls out breathlessly, “what are you doing all the way down there? come lay down, i should be the one taking care of you, don't you think, darling?” 
you breath out a laugh as you nip at his hip bone making him draw in a sharp breath as his hardening dick flinches in its confines. 
“i want to be down here, diluc. actually i'm not even exactly where i wanna be yet,” you tease.
“love-” he tries to argue before you interrupt him,
“please, ‘luc,” you pout up at him, “lemme take care of you this time. wanna make you feel good, i’ve missed the way you feel in my mouth,” you plead. 
diluc has only let you suck him off a small handful of times throughout your entire relationship. it's not that he doesn't like it, quite the opposite actually. it’s just when it comes to sex, he gets off on getting you off. your pleasure is genuinely his pleasure, he’s almost sure he could cum at the sight of you coming undone alone. but when you look up at him almost pleadingly with your lips so so close to his straining cock, he lets his resolve melt a little and lets you take whatever you want from him. 
he sighs, his big hand coming up to cup your face, thumb caressing the apple of your cheeks. “if…if that’s what you really want then… but go slow, love. don't hurt yourself, okay?” 
you inwardly melt at his concern as you flash him a smile, “thank you, ‘luc. i’ll be careful, i promise.” 
he huffs out a sigh while his hands brush your hair out of your face, “yeah, that’s what you said last time before you choked on it.”
you giggle at his words before playfully nipping at his skin right above the waistband of his underwear. “and who came almost immediately feeling my throat tighten on his cock?” you tease. 
“darli-mmph-” he tries to argue before you cut him off with a warm wet lick along the heavy shaft of his cock through the fabric of his underwear. 
his breathing instantly becomes heavier as you press teasing opened mouth kisses to his twitching length while your fingers hook over the waistband to slowly drag the last article of clothing off his hips. 
diluc raises himself on an elbow to watch you through hazy vision as he uses his other hand to help you pull the fabric off. 
as you discard them onto the floor by the bed, diluc’s wraps a hand around his throbbing cock squeezing at the base a little, giving himself a couple of short pumps. 
“my love, you don't have to do this,” he tries to convince you one last time as you make yourself comfortable between his thighs, “come lay down, hm? let me make you feel good, bet she’s just aching for it, isn't she, angel?”
you pout at him knowing that he’s trying to rile you up on purpose, hoping that if he gets you needy enough you’ll let him take over. you would be lying to yourself if you said his plan wasn’t effective, not with the way his filthy words strike straight to your cunt making your little hole clench around nothing.
“it’ll be my turn later, wanna taste you first,” you insist, your hands dragging up his thighs, nails lightly raking over the cords of thick muscle. 
diluc’s jaw tightens when your smaller hands replace his on his swollen cock. using both of hands to twist around the entirety of his length, making him draw in a sharp inhale. 
his piercing gaze follows your every movement as you open your mouth slightly, letting a pool of saliva fall past your lips and drop onto his flushed tip. diluc’s lip part in a silent moan as he watches the filthy sight, mind filling with fog as your hands drag across his length smearing your saliva over him. 
his resolve to switch positions finally dying down as he gently tangles his fingers in your hair, subconsciously pushing down the slightest bit trying to encourage your soft lips to meet his drooling cock. 
your lips finally meet his aching tip as you press a sweet kiss to his oozing slit before you take his length into the warmth of your mouth. 
diluc hisses at the feeling of your tongue repeatedly circling around his tip then massaging at the pulsing thick vein on the underside of his cock. 
“mmmh, love, s-slow, go slow,” he pants while his fingers tighten themselves in your hair, trying to grasp for control over the situation he’s found himself in. “doing so good, darling, mmph-! d-dont go any deeper, just-ngh keep it...keep it there.” 
you hum while bobbing your head up and down, the vibrations going right to his tightening balls as he tilts his head up to the ceiling a guttural groan ripping through the room. all senses filled with him, you desperately want to disobey his orders and just want to feel him further. want to feel his tip poke at the back of your throat as you swallow around him, want to know what he sounds like when his hips involuntarily stutter, thrusting his dick down further. 
knowing he’s slowly losing himself in bliss, you test the waters by slowly inching your mouth lower and lower until you feel his coarse red hair tickling your nose. you close your eyes and take a breath before surging forward practically devouring him whole.
the constricting feeling of your throat wrapping around his sensitive tip forces his hips to jerk in surprise, his mind short circuiting at the addicting sensation.
“ah-! l-love, oooh f-fuck! wait-!” he chokes out, his hands fisting tightly in your hair desperately trying to keep your head still, torn between wanting to push you down just a little bit further or pull you off him to scold you for deliberately ignoring his warnings to be careful. 
thick, milky ropes of his cum hit the back of your tongue as he pulls his leaking tip away to keep you from bullying his twitchy cock further into your throat. 
you swallow every spurt of cum, not letting a single drop leak through the corners of your lips. soothingly licking his shaft, softly bringing him down from his high, his chest harshly rising and falling, his eyebrows knitted together as he gazes at you with glossed over eyes. 
you lick one last stripe up his length, making his dick twitch in overstimulation, before sitting on your knees in between his legs, hands massaging his flexed thighs. 
he huffs out a breath as he gives you a pointed look, “alright, your privileges have been permanently revoked.” 
your mouth falls open in shock, “what! you liked it, though!” 
he shakes his head as he reaches to grab your elbows to drag you off of your knees. he rolls the both of you over, you now laying underneath him, face caged in by his strong arms. 
he tenderly lays a soft kiss on your lips, cock stirring when he vaguely tastes himself on you. he pulls back just slightly to chastise you, “i distinctly remember telling you to be care-” 
“and i distinctly remember you, once again, cumming as soon as your cock hit my thro-mmph!” you try to interrupt him only for him to cut you off by capturing your lips in a heavy, greedy kiss.
“what am i going to do with you,” he sighs into your mouth as you giggle and wrap your legs around his waist. 
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shaniacsboogara · 18 days
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jojo siwa claiming she's revitalizing gay pop and releasing 'karma' on the same night as conan gray's 'found heaven' and chappell roan's 'good luck babe' is so poetically ironic. it's like the universe WANTS to draw a comparison between jojo and queer pop artists.
the thing that makes queer pop compelling as a genre is the unique storytelling and experiences of queer artists told through their music. that doesn't necessarily mean every song by a queer artist has to be about their queerness. they don't have to scream "hey i'm gay!" in every single song they write. but claiming to be "reinventing gay pop" should mean you're telling interesting stories about your queer experience, right???
'found heaven' by conan gray is about growing up as a queer kid with religious guilt and disapproving parents. he equates being in love in an authentic way to "finding heaven", and the piece as a whole resonates with a TON of queer people in different stages of their lives. some people can look back at their childhoods and how much they've grown since then, some can relate because they're currently going through what conan's written about, and some people can sympathize with the way some queer people are treated, even if they aren't necessarily queer themselves.
'good luck babe' is a song about queerness and compulsory heterosexuality. chappell sings about a woman she was in a relationship with who decided to settle down in a conventional marriage despite being queer. the song reflects the denial a lot of queer people go through (specifically regarding the lesbian experience) and the unfortunate way a lot of them end up repressing who they are to conform to societal standards. it's fun, it's campy, but its message is still poignant.
as for karma… there's nothing inherently queer about that song. the music video for the original version, ‘karma’s a bitch’ by brit smith, featured a heterosexual storyline. jojo buying the rights to a song she didn't write isn't inherently a bad thing, a lot of mainstream artists do that all the time. however, if you're claiming to be a pioneer of the “gay pop” genre and your music doesn't reflect any queer themes or experiences, is it really “gay pop”? again, queer artists don't have to write exclusively about their queerness, but if you try to present yourself as a voice for the queer community without telling any of their stories, you're not going to be lauded as some revolutionary figure. if any of the songs on jojo’s album are actually about her experience as a lesbian or contain any queer themes, then i think she'd qualify as a “gay pop” artist. but so far, she's given us a faux edgy, generic pop song and tried to market it as some insane never-been-done-before feat. and honestly, if her entire album is like this and she continues to market herself this way, it's a slap in the face to all the genuine artists and storytellers in the queer community.
but let's stop talking about jojo siwa and start talking about the incredible queer artists who are truly breathing life into the "gay pop" genre: chappell roan, renee rapp, ben platt, conan gray, girl in red, kevin atwater, baby queen, mitski, clairo, dodie, and SO MANY MORE (feel free to add on some of your favourites because there are so many wonderful artists out there <3)
also: if you have a different perspective on this situation i would absolutely love to hear what you think and if you agree / disagree with this! i love discussing topics like this so feel free to reblog with your own take
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honkytonk-hangman · 7 months
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Good In Bed
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
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Summary: Jake has made it crystal clear to you that you're only friends with benefits, so why did he go and delete your dating apps?
Warnings: brief mentions of smut but not smutty, jake kinda being an asshole, reader getting upset and yelling at him, fluff ending all the way baybay
Notes: u have no clue how much i love u @roleycoleyland for literally being the reason this got finished &lt;;3 <;3 <3 title from Good In Bed by Dua Lipa <3
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Jake pumps his hips hard into yours one final time, before he at last collapses beside you, chest sweaty and heaving, his eyes closed and his face raised to the ceiling. Your position had shifted from the pure force of your fucking, and somehow your head had fallen off the side of his bed, leaving you hanging slightly as you too try to catch your breath.
“Damn, I’ve missed this,” he says a short time later, shifting himself fully out from between your legs, and tucking his hands behind his head, the afterglow of a good lay lingering on him beautifully. Once upon a time his words might’ve sparked pride or even joy, but now they’re just one more cut that stings painfully before being swallowed up. You note sourly he doesn’t say he’s missed you, despite the fact he’s been gone ten weeks now, and against your better judgement you missed him.
You lay there on his bed in the late evening and regret every moment that led you to this point. You shouldn't have picked up when he called tonight, you shouldn't have come over for drinks, and you definitely shouldn't have had sex with him again.
It’s not that Jake isn't a nice guy, well, he isn’t always, but for the most part he was a mile more decent than most of the guys you’d actually dated in the past. From the start he was straightforward and blunt with you about what this thing between you would be, how much he was offering you, and to his credit, he rarely seemed to step outside of that. And like an idiot, you’d gone and gotten feelings for him anyway.
You should have stopped seeing him long before his most recent deployment, and you shouldn't have been there the night before he left for him to hit you with another straightforward and blunt assertion that you were only fuck buddies, nothing more.
The thing is, you and Jake got on well, so well in fact most people assumed that you were an item, and at this point maybe you were blinded by your feelings, but you couldn’t exactly see why you shouldn't be, aside form the fact that Jake didn’t seem to be interested in any sort of commitment, despite what that offered was basically what you had now, only he didn’t have to go out of his way to break your heart once a week.
After the last time, before he’d left for ten weeks, you’d sworn off him for good. You put his name in your phone as ‘DO NOT CALL’, you downloaded a few dating apps, you’d even been on a few dates… and then Jake had sauntered back into your life, invited you over for the night and just like none of your progress existed in the first place, you’d come at his beck and call.
You lay there feeling pathetic as it sinks in what you’ve done, but swallow back your emotions for now. You were an adult, you chose to do this with him tonight, you knew what it would do. Warm fingers make you jump as they wrap around your wrist, and you glance up to watch as Jake effortlessly tugs you back onto the bed, closer to him, never letting his hand leave your skin as he releases you to skim his fingers up and over your shoulder, drawing you even closer until you’re almost cuddling. You nearly pull away.
Jake wasn’t a post-sex cuddler, not really anyway. Aftercare? No problem, but this wasn’t exactly the sort of session that required aftercare, so you’re more than a little surprised by his continued affections, staying still as he curls himself onto his side to face you, hand dropping to grab at your thigh, which he hikes over his, as if this was something you normally did.
“You may need to give me a few before we go again,” you tell him, realising this position was probably just him gearing up for round two. Jake peeks an eye open at you, and lifts an eyebrow as though what you’ve said is very funny.
“I don’t think I’ve got more to give tonight,” he says, adjusting your leg around him again, pulling you in even more. You refrain from frowning, if only to avoid explaining to him why. Jake closes his eyes again and lets out a contented sigh. His hand stays curled around your leg, though he begins rhythmically smoothing his thumb back and forth over your skin after a few moments, and you begin to wonder at what point he’s going to withdraw from you like he usually does.
Luckily you’re saved from the dreaded wait, your phone buzzing loud and distractingly. You use it as the perfect excuse to extract yourself from him, instead moving to a sitting up cross-legged position as you reach for your phone, and draw the screen closer to your chest when you see who it’s from. Jake seems only a little disgruntled by your movement, though gets over it quickly, replacing his hand almost exactly where it once was around your thigh.
“What's going on?” he asks casually, eyes closed again as you tap out a reply. You spare him half a glance, but don’t feel much point in lying to him about things, seeing as he’d never done so with you.
“Just this guy I met on Tinder a while back.” you tell him lightly, completely missing how his eyes pop open immediately and he stares up at you with an unreadable expression.
“You’re on Tinder?” he asks, voice blank, finally making you look down at him properly. You blink and shrug, before going back to your phone.
“Sure, I mean, I don’t know how else to meet people these days, I kinda don’t get out much when Dagger’s not around,” you inform him, shifting in your place slightly as he withdraws his hand from your thigh to lay over his sternum instead.
Feeling the mood shift, but unsure as to why, you force out a laugh and shrug.
“It’s been sorta nice, trying to get back out there again properly, not just, you know, settling or whatever.” that makes Jake react clearly, frowning at you while pushing himself into an upright position. “Settling?!” he repeats, though it’s not really a question. You stare at him in confusion.
“I don’t know, I guess I’m getting past the point in my life where I wanna be doing this,” you getsure between the two of you. “All the time.”
Jake blinks at you in clear offence, before quickly his entire demeanour seems to change all at once, and his expression falls into a somewhat familiar cocky grin.
“Alright, I get it,” he says, only further confusing you and you’re caught off guard enough that when he reaches out and plucks your phone from your hands, you don’t have time to react.
“Hey! Jake!” you protest, suddenly a little panicked as he very easily plays keep-away from you, using one of his hands to do something on your screen, while the other easily bats away you various attempts to swipe your phone back.
“You don’t need any of this shit, alright?” Jake tells you almost condescendingly.
“Jake!” you warn, your voice growing less calm by the moment.
“There, gone. Deleted.” he says proudly, before at last turning your phone screen around to face you, and letting you take it back off him, which you do hurriedly, snatching it away and standing up from the bed.
“What the fuck?!” you demand, looking agape between your now tinder-less phone, and Jake. The blond looks more relaxed now, and all of a sudden any thought of keeping your brooding and your feelings to yourself goes out the window. Your eyes prickle.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that?!” you shout. Jake has the smarts to at least drop his smug grin, but now he stares up at you in even more annoying surprise.
“I was just–” he starts, but you don’t even care what he has to say anymore.
“You don’t get to leave for ten weeks after, especially after reminding me that you don’t want me, and then just show up again and ruin my chances at finding someone who actually does!” your raised voice wobbles, and you don’t bother trying to hide your sniffling as you continue to lay into him. “That’s not fair! You’re being unfair!” you cry. “How many girls did you take home while you were away, huh?”
Jake blinks at you, a shade of indignance colouring his features now.
“None.” he tells you, but you can only scoff.
“Right. And how many did you flirt with? How many did you buy drinks for?” he stays silent at those questions, either not wanting to answer or no longer seeing the point in the face of your tirade. You stare at him until your eyesight blurs completely before at last you reel back from him.
Gasping a little at the state you’ve worked yourself into, you turn half away from him and wipe desperately at your eyes.
“Baby–” Jake starts, his fingers brushing your wrist, but you jerk away this time, pulling your hand and your phone to your chest.
“I need to go. I shouldn’t have come,” you tell him, collecting your clothes quickly before escaping into his bathroom.
You can't help but feel a little pathetic as you cry harder once you’re in the relative privacy of his ensuite, a strange but familiar disappointment lancing through you when he doesn't come after you. However upon swinging the door back open once you’re dressed, you find Jake standing in front of his bed, sweatpants now fastened around his hips, and a determined expression on his features.
“I’m not letting you leave like this,” he tells you firmly, as if he has any say in what you do. You scoff at him, but don’t cover up your still dripping eyes. If anything, his resolve seems to strengthen.
“Look, be pissed at me, I deserve it, but I’m not letting you drive home when you’ve been drinking,” his voice leaves little room for argument, and even though in the back of your mind you know he’s actually being the decent version of himself right now, you can’t help but snarl at him in disgust.
“Fine! Then I’ll call an uber. I’m not staying here.'' You're aware you sound a little childish, and you feel a small pang of regret when Jake’s face flashes with hurt that is quickly covered up by sternness. Going against all the signs you’re putting out to him right now, Jake moves forward and stops your movements to find your shoes by laying both hands on your shoulders. When you look up at him, eyes still blinking away tears, he seems sincere and pleading.
“Just… just stay here, I’ll sleep in the lounge, alright? Just don’t go home like this.”
You want to snap at him that he has no right to ask that of you, but somehow you think he already knows that, and is still asking anyway. You realise dully, that just like you always wanted, Jake was chasing you now, though, you aren’t sure you really want it anymore.
“I wasn’t trying to upset you–” he cuts himself off, just as you shrug out of his hold.
“Please do not talk to me right now.” is all you can manage by way of agreeing to his terms.
You can barely bring yourself to look at him as he goes about collecting up his pillow and a spare blanket, and a part of you feels cruel, but the bigger part of you is proud that you’ve finally put your foot down. Maybe at some other time you’d let him talk, but right now all you can think about or hear is every moment prior to this night when he’s hurt you.
You’d hoped you’d at least be able to fall asleep somewhat fast, but the longer you lay there, the longer you go over and over every little detail of your night until you find yourself downstairs, wrapped up in the throw blanket from Jake’s bed, and standing a few feet away from him on the couch. He sits up immediately when he noticed you, chucking his phone down and focusing intently on you. You note he doesn’t open his mouth, or attempt to speak yet, and you almost regret telling him not to earlier.
You stare at one another hard, until you have to suppress a small hiccup, at which point you frustratedly wipe your face with the back of your hand and cross your arms in front of you.
“Why did you do that?” You ask, amazed your voice sounds as firm as it does. Jake stares up at you with a mixture of uncertainty and something you want to say is remorse but you can’t bring yourself to believe right now that he would be.
“I’m not good at this stu—”
“—No, tell me why you did it.” You cut him off, not willing to listen to his self-pity right now. Jake closes his mouth and blinks up at you, staring intently for a few moments before he shifts in his seat. “Did you miss me?” You prompt after he continues to stare, eyes somewhat pleading. You understand relationships and vulnerability are hard for him, you’re willing to give him this olive branch for now. To his credit, Jake immediately nods, his hands coming together across his spread thighs to wring anxiously.
“Yes. I’m sorry—”
“—If you ever try any of that shit again, I’m kicking your ass,” you tell him. Jake blinks, then straightens up, and nods again. Your lip wobbles and this time when he reaches a hand out for you, he doesn’t grab you, but waits for you to shuffle forward toward him before pulling you in.
He tugs you forward to come stand between his legs, and bows his forehead to rest against your abdomen, his hands anchored at your hips.
“I don’t want you to think I don’t want you,” Jake mumbles, loud enough for you to hear, and you know this is a big admission for him.
“I know it probably doesn’t feel like it, but you can just, you know, tell me that…” you reply, letting your hands fall into his hair where you begin to smooth down some of the mess you made of it earlier. “I want you,” you say, realising while he may subconsciously know that, you’ve also never told him before. “I would never have let you mess me around if I didn’t,” you add with a short laugh, and flick his ear gently. Jake huffs, and lifts his head so he’s looking up at you now, chin resting on your belly.
“I don’t want you to date anyone else. I should have told you that back when I realised it…” he says softly, looking for the first time since you’ve known him like holding your eye contact is uncomfortable for him. “Is that okay?” He asks even quieter.
“Only if you don’t half ass it,” you peer down at him with playful scepticism.
Jake’s fingers at your hips tighten and his eyes narrow.
“I don’t half-ass anything,” he tells you sourly, before making a face. “Tonight notwithstanding.” he adds after a moment. You can’t help it then, you chortle, and hold the sides of his face. Jake smiles, seemingly proud of himself for making you laugh, and he adjusts his hold on you, moving his hands down to tug you into him, so your knees buckle and you’re forced to catch yourself on his shoulders just as he manoeuvres you to sit on his thigh.
“I’m sorry,” he says, far more seriously, leaning his forehead against yours now that you’re face to face. You cup his cheeks again, and dip forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips.
“You will be out on the curb so fast if you fuck me around again,” you tell him cheerfully, making him laugh this time.
“Noted,” he says, before he steals another kiss, longer this time.
When he pulls back at last, you feel yourself relax fully against him, and move to rest your head in the crook of his neck.
“Can we go to bed now?” he asks after a few seconds. You nod, stifling a suspiciously timed yawn, and yelp a little when he scoops your legs under his arm and stands, grinning smugly all the way back upstairs.
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cow-smells · 7 months
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Decisions | Vinsmoke Sanji / Roronoa Zoro x reader
Summary: You and Sanji are friends. Just like you're friends with Zoro. When a misunderstanding pushes emotions to a boiling point, you're put on the spot to make a tough decision - who really is the man for you?
Word count: 1100
Warnings: none
A/n: this is going to be a choose-your-destiny type thing, where you can choose who you want to end up with! this first part is the prequel to that ~
you chose: Zoro , Sanji
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“Here, like this.”
Sanji took to standing behind you, wrapping his arms around you to place his hands on yours, guiding you through the proper motions to chop a carrot as evenly as he did. You couldn’t help but notice how his biceps flexed against your own, how he smelled of the bath he took this morning, the light caress of his breath on your neck. It was nearly overwhelming. You had to hyperfocus on the task in front of you so to not zone out and chop off a finger.
The carrots now chopped, Sanji’s excuse to wrap himself around you was gone. Reluctantly, he took a step back; you weren’t sure if the sudden coldness you were feeling was disappointment at his lack of proximity.
“Okay,” he started, his voice a little shaken; you wondered – was that because of you? “breakfast’s about as good as done. Do you want to call everyone in?”
“Sure,” you agreed, earning yourself one of Sanji’s beautiful, deep-dimpled smiles.
Gathering the crew for breakfast was rarely a hassle; you were often tasked with the mission after helping Sanji prep breakfast, and so, you already knew everyone’s routines and where to find them. Luffy was usually nearby the kitchen somewhere, ready to pounce on breakfast the moment Sanji permitted; Nami could be found on deck, drawing maps of where you’ve been; Usopp was a bit less predictable, but he’d usually find you as you were making the rounds. And then there was Zoro – which, you learned, was not a morning person.
While Sanji was up at the crack of dawn, already dressed to the nines and on his feet working in the kitchen, Zoro would sleep in until forced out of bed. They really were polar opposites.
This morning was no different; you knocked twice on Zoro’s door before letting yourself in. You smiled at the sight of his sleeping form, splayed across the bed, limbs tangled in his sheets – so unlike the proper way he held himself during his waking hours.
Perching yourself on the side of the bed, you lay a hand on Zoro’s shoulder. He opted to sleep on his stomach, and you couldn’t help but be appreciative of the sight of his muscular back, shaped by the hours of training he put in daily. “Zoro,” you called calmly, caressing his upper back in what you believed to be a friendly manner. “Hey, it’s time for breakfast.”
Zoro mumbled incoherently in to his pillow before shifting to throw an arm around you, his eyes still shut peacefully. “Zoro,” you laughed, being tilted on to him. “come on, it’s time to wake up.”
Finally, Zoro responded. “Mm. Sleep better.”
“Better than Sanji’s cooking?”
“Yes,” he deadpanned. You should have seen that coming. After a short pause, Zoro opened an eye, taking you in. “Did you cook?”
“I helped.”
“Fine.” With that, Zoro threw off the sheet that was covering him, hopping out of bed in surprising speed. While he’d usually sleep in trousers, last night was hotter than usual, and he seemed to opt against them today.
“Sorry,” you apologize, seeing Zoro in nothing but his boxers. You stood up to make your way out of the room when Zoro interjected, “What’s the rush? I’ll walk with you,” as he pulled on a pair of pants. He grabbed a button-up and followed you out of his room, threading an arm in to his shirt.
You stopped dead in your tracks as you came face to face with Usopp. You could see from the way he was looking at you two, just what he was thinking. You both were leaving his room quietly early in the morning, Zoro being half undressed. Usopp’s gaze jumped between you and Zoro, his mouth falling slightly open, trying to think of how to express himself.
Zoro, however, didn’t give him the opportunity. “Usopp.” Zoro greeted sternly. Zoro then placed a hand on your lower back, maneuvering you to keep walking, leaving a confused, suspicious Usopp behind.
Usopp was the last to join you all for breakfast. When he had finally arrived, the expression he wore was one of slight terror, or maybe just pure disbelief; a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the crew. Usopp took his place sitting opposite Nami, who wasn’t afraid to just ask – “Usopp. What’s up with your face?”
Usopp, reluctant to vocalize at this place and time, opted for giving Nami a wide-eyed look before raising his brows and shifting his eyeline between you and Zoro.
If that was meant to be a discreet message from himself to Nami, it failed, because even your oblivious captain had picked up on the cue – “What’s going on with y/n and Zoro?”
You could see Sanji tense visibly, his eyes growing wide. Zoro, however, seemed completely unbothered.
You could see the panic rise on Usopp before he blurted out, “Zoro and y/n are sleeping together!”
You, Luffy and Nami all shout – “What?!” to varying degrees of emotion. Strangely, Zoro doesn’t protest.
Then, a chair falls back to the floor. Sanji was on his feet, his hands fisted. You knew him well enough to know how mad he was just from the way he held himself.
“No.” Sanji said, his voice almost a growl. Slowly, he picked up his gaze from the floor to Zoro. “This… This is the one thing, I refuse to lose to you. I won’t let you have her.”
“Sit down, cook. This doesn’t regard you.” How Zoro could be so unbothered right now, you had no idea. Why wasn’t he clearing things up? Was he – was he okay with the others thinking you were together?
You could see Sanji flaring up – there was a fight about to break out, you were certain about it. “Sanji, I literally spent all morning with you.”
Instantly, Sanji’s rage melted away. Sanji made his way to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you to him. “That’s right. I shouldn’t be listening to this nonsense when I know I’m the first person you see when you wake up.”
Zoro’s brow twitched at that. “What are you saying, cook?”
Looking more smug than need be, Sanji replied, “What do you think, mosshead?”
“Enough with this already!” Nami yelled, far too tired with the duo’s one-upmanship. “You’re talking about a real person here, not a toy. Ever think to ask her how she feels, what she wants?”
“Yeah, y/n.” Zoro stood, and the look he was giving you could set you ablaze. Sanji’s arms around you tightened. “What do you want?”
you chose: Zoro , Sanji
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astraystayyh · 1 year
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A cat proposal
summary : minho is in love & wants to marry you
pairing : Lee Know x reader, pre-established relationship.
genre : FLUFF
warnings : mention of wanting to have kids together at the end.
the things i would do to have this man.... hope you enjoy reading!! feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments, it will be very appreciated!! <33
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You were lying down on the couch, Minho sprawled on top of you. His head was on your chest, his nose nuzzling your stomach every now and then as if to remind you he was there. And you were playing with the locks of his hair lazily, drawing mindless circles on his back from time to time.
It had been exactly two weeks since Minho moved in with you. You hadn't really had the time to relax, just the both of you. His schedule was hectic and so was yours, as it was nearing the end of the year. You only saw each other when he came home late to you; bringing your body to his and peppering kisses on the soft curve of your shoulder.
But today, he managed to come home early, and so did you. Which led to an impromptu movie night together. Still, you couldn't really focus on the movie, the dialogue coming to you like mindless chatter. You had something to suggest to Minho, and you didn't really know how he would take it.
He must have noticed that you were looking up at the ceiling, since he blew a raspberry on your stomach, prompting startled giggles from you. He smirks, before placing a small kiss on your bare skin, "what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
"I have something to tell you, just think about it okay? You don't have to reply now."
"Okay, tell me about it," he turns the TV off, giving you his undivided attention. It made you flustered, how he always looked at you like you were the only person that mattered on this earth.
"Well... since you moved in. I thought... why not bring your cats here in the apartment, this way you could see them more often and we could take care of them together," you start off, your rhythm accelerating with each word.
"I mean, I know it will take time for them to get used to a new place, so we could do it gradually? They could stay over for a weekend until they feel comfortable here," you start to ramble. "And you could put their toys and playhouse in the washing machine room since it's nearly empty, and we'd take turns taking care of them and I don't mind feeding them and changing their litter box when you are on tour, and I'd bring them to your parent's house because they might miss them and-"
"Honey, breathe," he chuckles and you stop, gulping. You really forgot how to breathe during your little speech.
After that, it's silent. Minho doesn't say anything, placing his head back on your stomach. Your cheeks are turning a crimson red from embarrassment, you just made a fool out of yourself, didn't you?
Your frantic train of thought is interrupted when Minho picks up your hand and starts kissing your knuckles softly. He doesn't look at you as he places chaste kisses on each of your fingertips; as if his lips meeting your skin was worthy of all his attention.
The truth is, Minho couldn't talk right now. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid if he ever spoke, he wouldn't be able to stop the flow of words yearning to come out.
There are one million words in Korean, yet none of them seemed fit to express his adoration for you. He racked his brain for the right combination of words, because 'I love you' didn't cut it anymore. What he felt was more than love, it was a heart wrenching feeling in the most beautiful way.
Minho knew you loved him too, but it was in moments like this that he was reminded that you actually love him. That you were as infatuated with him as he was with you. That you thought about him just like he thought about you.
Kissing your fingertips, one at a time, he couldn't help but remember a fact he once read; there are twenty three words for love alone in Arabic. Maybe he should learn them, maybe he should learn every expression of love that was ever invented, every love poem that was written throughout history. And then he'd recite them to you, one by one. Maybe then you'd understand how you make him feel.
But he couldn't bring himself to tell you all of this, so instead, he settled on a love language that the both of you understood- touch. As his lips met your knuckles, he hoped that you'd feel it all through his kisses. That you'd know how much love he holds for you.
He finally looks up at you, his eyes holding yours in an intimate gaze. It's a while before he speaks again. "I will marry you one day, you know that right?" he whispers softly, as if it's a secret meant for the two of you alone.
Your breath hitches in your throat at his words, he wanted a forever with you?
"You mean that?" you whisper back, voice hoarse from the emotions you were barely keeping at bay. 
"I do. Would you like that?" he asks in a small voice, as if there was a possibility you'd say no. You almost scoff at that thought; not in this life, not in the next one.
"Of course. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Min," you tell him sincerely, your eyes wide looking into his so he'd know how serious you are.
"I want... I want our cats here," he starts off, knocking the breath out of you, 'our'.
"And I want silly supermarket lists with you, that I wouldn't be able to read because your writing is shit," you both chuckle, his laugh reverberating through your entire body. You always felt it deep inside you when he laughed, as if it was a melody meant for you only to hear.
"And i want to brush my teeth with you. I want to come home and see you with the cats. I want to cook for you and I want to kiss you when I wake up and sleep," he whispers, head now buried into your chest as if he was embrassed to say those words out loud.
"And I want.. I want kids with you, I want a girl running around that looks just like you. And you'd both greet me at the door and I'd die a happy man."
Silent tears are falling out of your eyes right now, 'you'd be a good mother', he once told you. And now, he wanted you to be the mother of his kids. It felt like your heart was in his palm and that he was squeezing it with every word he said. But you didn't mind, you knew that Minho would never squeeze too far to break you. You were safe with him. 
"We’ll have that my love, I promise," you smile, placing a sweet kiss on his head. "But i want a boy that looks like you,"you playfully pout. 
"There could only be one me," he tsks, waving a hand in the air as if to dismiss your words. 
"This is your son we are talking about," you laugh, your hand threading through his hair once again. 
"Our son," he clarifies and you blush. "Yeah.. our", you repeat, a soft smile on your face and he finally looks up at you again. 
You bop his nose with your finger playfully and he grins at the action. "So… does this mean you want the cats to move in?"
"Of course silly. My favorite people in one place, I can't wait."
"Cats are not people," you tease, and he rolls his eyes at your words. 
"Details."
He then stands up, pulling you up with him. His hand gently cradles your jaw and his lips fall perfectly on top of yours; the kiss making stars swirl in front of your eyes. "I love you so much Min," you whisper in between kisses and he smiles, "I love you yn, so much more than you know."
"I know, you know, Lee Know," you joke and he pushes your face away with his finger, "Nevermind, I take my proposal back."
"No can do. You are stuck with me forever," you singsong, pulling him in for a tight hug. 
Forever with you, he really liked the sound of that. 
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blkkizzat · 6 months
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ღ𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟!𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 ღ
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝟐
18+ONLY MDNI
kizzatober series: Thrilling Ghouls
Kinktober Prompts: Breeding, Dacryphilia, Aphrodisiac Synopsis: Catching him in a lie, you suspect your boyfriend Toji is cheating on you. Where does he keep disappearing to once a month that keeps him away for often days at a time. You're fed up. You've made up your mind this time to follow him but are you ready for what you discover? CW: AU. Most warnings for P2 really. Slightly dubcon-y. Bully/mean/teasing Toji. Bratty/crazy gf reader. Rough sex. Drug ref. Werewolf transformation but this isn't that furry shit lol. Omegaverse themes I borrow heavily from but I'm not following the rules of it faithfully (I don't even know them myself lol) WC: 4k of 10.4k Lightly black fem coded but no descriptors.
A/N: This one took a bit longer expected as I recently caught a cold, boooo! But I'm realizing even in my fics I intend to be PWPs I still need to set the mood and a plot springs forth lmfao. Plus I had fun actually trying to write a bit of horror in too! I decided to split into 2 parts because of the delay already.
Big shout out to an irl bestie @sairotonin for drawing a sketch of Werewolf!Toji for her inktober for me to use in my gfx. TY sis you a real one!!
Enjoy!
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“In the next 500ft, turn left.”
This was going to be the third goddamn left the car navigation told you to take in the last 20 minutes. You were ninety-nine percent sure you had been going in circles and were now lost as shit at night in the middle of nowhere. 
You glance at your phone sitting in the dash-caddy. 
One measly bar. 
The further you traveled, the more the service bars were dwindling as well. 
Shit, you had 3 full bars last time you looked.
Opting to keep ahead straight instead of turning, you cross-check your destination via the spy monitoring app you had shamelessly downloaded on your boyfriend Toji’s phone.
Toji’s current location was 45 miles outside of the city and it had been a good 10 miles since you last saw any kind of highway. The area you were in was a mix between nature reserve and private property so not even GPS could pin down the exact directions to his whereabouts. 
Sigh. 
You had never wanted to be That Girl™. 
You know, the ones who would sneak peaks at their boyfriend’s phones, were super insecure about any interaction their man had with the opposite sex and ran down on them while they were out to catch them in the act of cheating. 
But you were a woman at the end of her rope.
What else could you do?
For a few days every month Toji would simply disappear. 
The various excuses he gave usually centered around his work. You didn’t know exactly what he did, but you knew enough to know most of it was dangerous and wasn’t what good society would consider legal.  
Toji had scolded you before for asking too many details. 
For your own safety.
He would say with an arrogant smirk.
But even when working you had always been able to get a hold of him after a few hours. It was just this one particular job he would completely drop off the face of the earth for. It annoyed you, sure, but Toij’s work never followed him home so you didn't have complaints.  
That is, until you had finally moved-in with him and Megumi.
Truly, you were already like a little family.
Megumi, who had just recently started preschool, had been quick to warm up to you ever since you and Toji first introduced you to him a few months prior to that. 
But living together pushed things to a whole other level. Megumi would follow you around like a lost pup and often opted to sit in your lap rather than Toji’s.
Not to mention throw a near fit if you weren’t the one to tuck him in goodnight. (Toji would never admit he was a bit jealous and would only grumble slightly that it was less of a hassle for him if you did it so you should just do it from now on).
You never even realized you had such a mothering instinct, being on the same page as Toji about no more kids, until you looked into those little emerald eyes of Gumi’s and absolutely melted. 
You had grown so close that the little boy unknowingly let it slip once while Toji was MIA on that job, that he was glad Daddy went on his daddy breaks once a month so you both could have fun together by yourselves.
You tried to keep your reactions in check for Megumi but that revelation completely shook you. 
A “daddy break” didn’t sound much like a work trip to you which spiked your anxiety and caused you to spiral into overthinking. 
Did he need a break from you too as well?
You couldn't very well grill a 4-year old and you didn’t have the nerve to just ask Toji straight out. 
So you did the only thing you could think of at the time and that was to complain to your good friend Tsukumo over drinks a few days later after Toji returned.
Tsukumo, who always seemed to have the wrong answer for everything, simply told you to do the ‘smart’ thing and download a monitoring app on his phone that would log is calls, texts and whereabouts. 
You initially balked at her.
Tracking Toji had never crossed your mind.
Outside of this, Toji had never given you a reason to doubt him and you wanted to respect his privacy and trust, especially trust as you knew he didn’t let many people get close to him at all.
True, he wasn’t exactly the most forthcoming man you ever dated. You were well aware he had his many skeletons as well as ex-hookups. But Toji for the most part had been content with his gambling then coming home to you and Megumi. 
He wasn’t the type to ‘run the streets with the boys (he had no boys tbh), you had only ever known him to have the occasional drink with Shiu when he wasn’t out gambling.
You had almost refused to do such a thing… That is until Tsukumo posed the question: 
What’s more important Y/N– your peace of mind or his trust? 
And Y/N, is trust really what’s important here at all if he is in fact already taking advantage of yours?
Touché. 
Tsukumo had you there.
“Besides, you think that old dinosaur is even going to notice an extra app on his phone in the first place?” 
Tsukumo quipped, throwing back a shot of sake and jiggling the empty container at the bartender for more.
“You just got rid of his old flip phone last year. I’m surprised he can even use a touchscreen without punching a hole through it. Just delete the app once you’ve seen what you needed to see.”
Tsukumo gave you this advice like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
Ignoring her digs at Toji’s age, and maybe it was the 3 bottles of sake the both of you had blown through in the last hour, but you were starting to think she might be onto something. 
“Mmm, on second thought, might as well keep it on there. Men like Fushiguro are dogs that need to be kept on tight leashes.”
Tsukumo grinned at you with a wink before turning her attention back to the bartender.
You still didn’t know then if you would actually go through with it.
Nevertheless, here you are now at 11:15 PM at night about to pull up on your boyfriend thanks to Tsukumo’s advice to find out once and for all if Toji was cheating on you.
You had dropped Megumi off at his best friend Yuji’s for the night, thanking Yuji’s parents for watching him and feeling guilty for lying to them that you and Toji had a date night. 
Almost there.
You are within 2 miles of arriving at the vicinity of where the monitoring app says Toji is.
However, your anxieties were getting the best of you as you drove in near tears.
You turn up your music louder, the booming bass distracting you from how much darker and creepier it gets the further you drive into the wooded area. 
Sighing again, you had no idea how this would turn out but you knew the result would determine whether you would be listening to Positions by Ariana Grande or Playing Games by Summer Walker on repeat during the drive back. 
Barely a half mile later, you see the engine light of your car flash. The pungent odor of burning oil fills the car as a plume of smoke escapes out from under the hood.
Goddamn it, Toji. 
“Y/N, make sure to go get ‘er an oil change while I’m gone. Ya got like 15 good miles left on ‘er.”                                                                                                                                  Toji’s voice rang in your mind. 
Well the big lunk he was wrong.
You had driven at least 33 miles so far.
You mentally cussed him again. 
Toji was the one who was supposed to change your oil, he used your car more than you did. Only opting to use his own blacked out unplated and unlicensed car for jobs like he was on now.  
You wouldn’t have even left the house if it wasn’t for his sketchy cheating headass. 
Okay, so you hadn’t exactly confirmed that just yet, but you were pissed and until you confirmed otherwise, right now he was a cheater and everything about this situation was his fault.
Pulling over to the side of the dirt road before you caused further damage to your car, you weighed your options.
Option 1: Call AAA
You had zero bars though. 
Fuck. 
Option 2: Wait here in the safety of the car until morning.
You would still have zero bars and you might miss Toji, making this whole trip fruitless.
If he beat you home in the morning and found you gone with Megumi at Yuji’s with the sad excuse for a 'date night' lie you gave, you would never hear the end of it.
He would taunt you into oblivion that your silly ass drove all the way up here unto the woods for your car to break down cause you were too busy being a psycho bitch to remember to get an oil change.
Option 3: Walk on foot the rest of the way to Toji.
Really the only viable option you had. 
It was a good 12 miles or so back to the highway, you didn’t know how many turns you had made since then and you doubt you could make it back on foot anyway. If you were going to walk a few miles to get service again you might as well walk to where Toji was.
Sure if he wasn’t cheating you would still get ridiculed, but at least you could get a ride home. 
And if he was cheating, you would hot wire his car (one of the few useful things he did teach you) and that motherfucker and his whore could find their own way home.
Resolving yourself to walk, you put on Toji's hoodie that fortunately was still in the backseat from him last using your car to go to the gym. 
You really should have put more thought into planning this before you left. Besides Toji’s oversized worn hoodie that reached your mid-thighs all you were wearing was a thin white shirt and black spandex shorts. 
You didn’t even have sneakers or boots, as you looked down at your fuzzy black slippers you mostly only wore outside to run short errands like dropping off Megumi at preschool or picking up groceries. 
Thankfully, you did have a small flashlight in the glove compartment though in case of emergencies like this.
Flashlight in tow, you step outside of your stalled car and immediately suck in a worried breath as the weight of the chilly night settles over you like a heavy cloak.
You only have a mile and a half trek but the dirt road that stretches out before you looks endless as it disappears into the obscurity of the thick shroud of fog surrounding you. 
The flashlight doesn’t do much to cut through the intense density of condensation. You had only made it a mere 20 feet from your car but you can just barely make out its faint outline.
Swallowing, you put on your bravest face and fix your gaze forward. 
The reflections of your flashlight casts shifty patterns on the mist in your peripheral vision and you do your best to ignore the chill that creeps up your shoulders. 
“Fuck you, Toji.” 
You mumble half-heartedly, pulling the hood over head.
You didn’t really mean it though. Would-be-cheater or not more than anything you wished he was here with you now. 
You were freezing, tired and all you could think about was how warm and safe you would feel in Toji’s arms. Even if you were mad at him. 
You pick up the pace, wanting to get to him sooner. 
Almost more unnerving than the fog itself, the forest around you is as quiet as a grave.
There are no chirps of crickets, nor hoots of owls. 
Not even in the crisp cold of fall does the wind rustle through the trees, everything is silent.
The haunting nature around you seems to hold its breath as if it knows you're an unwelcome intruder who has trespassed too far.
You don’t dare peer into the trees which look taller in the darkness, closing in tightly on the dirt road. They are ghastly silhouettes of their former selves blocking any moonlight to help guide your way. 
You shiver as you feel as if you are being watched from a distance.
The only noise you hear is the soft crunching of rocks and leaves beneath your feet with every unsure step you take forward. 
You can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread as a stray tear runs down your cheek.
You couldn’t get to Toji soon enough. 
Though you still didn’t have any service the GPS updated as much as it could in roaming, you were so close.
As you continue forward a shadow on the path catches your eye in the foggy distance. 
Your heart quickens as you inch closer, your anticipation mingling with fear.
Shapes soon begin to take form and the harsh reality dawns upon you.
A pack of wolves. 
Their shadowy figures coalesce before you through the fog as they take stock of you.
You start to feel queasy as you see their red-stained muzzles dripping with the blood of their latest kill. The grotesque carcass of a deer practically stripped to the bone lay lifeless under their enormous paws. 
Their eyes, fierce and predatory, meet yours with a chilling intensity as the feeble beam of your flashlight washes over them. The deer, although large, you know is not enough to quell hunger from beasts of their size.
With a shaky breath you slowly retreat, not wanting to further agitate their already aggravated predatory senses. 
Then you hear it.
From what seems to be the darkest reaches of the night, a sound reverberates from the trees, through the forest and beyond that's unlike anything you've ever heard before. 
The howl that tears through the stillness is so chilling you instantly feel the lamentation that carries the weight of centuries of primal power down in the very marrow of your bones.
Even the wolves snap their heads to attention and bow their heads as if the sound announced the presence of a creature much higher on the food chain... something more ancient and malevolent…
...something terrifyingly unhuman.
The body racking shiver you experience is so intense it has you sprinting at full speed before your mind, frozen from fear, can even process you are moving. 
You burst through the dense trees, leaving the road as your heart pounds like a drum in your chest and tears stream freely down your cheeks to soak the edge of Toji’s sweatshirt.
The tangled underbrush of the forest whips the soft skin of your legs and the forest itself seems to conspire against you as you navigate the obstacle course of branches, logs and large rocks all seemingly with a mission to slow you down.
You can hear the chilling howls of the wolves you saw on the road call out behind you, giving chase. 
The sounds of their footfalls grow closer with every passing second.
Terrifying as they are, they hold no candle against the howl that sent you running and your body continues to propel you forward. 
Panic frazzles your senses and you make the tragic error of trying to steal a glance back behind you before directly colliding with a large cedar.
Groaning from the impact you reel as you try to gather yourself, clinging to the tree for support. 
You hear a twig snap behind you and you whirl around as you are faced with a largest gray wolf out of the pack who had been chasing you. 
The alpha wolf’s teeth glint menacingly as their breath escapes in visible puffs in the frigid night air. 
Too late to try to make a run for it again, you whimper as you resign yourself to your fate. You slid down the large tree to bury your face in your knees.
Was this it?
Was this how you died?
You weren’t even able to see Toji after coming all this way. 
You also wanted to be able to hug Megumi one last time and maybe knock the daylights out of Tsukumo for her horrible ass idea. 
But ultimately this was all your fault. 
You could be snuggled up with Gumi on the sofa with snacks watching Anpanman but your dumbass had to go galavanting off into the middle of the woods like a fucking lunatic and now you’re about to be eaten by a wolf.
You could feel the wolf’s overbearing presence as it approached you but you couldn’t bear to look up. You’d rather spend your final moments thinking of Toji and Megumi. 
Yet despite your impending doom, your head did snap up once you felt a rough tongue gently lick your ankles and curiously sniff at the ends of Toji's hoodie covering your legs. 
The wolf was more than intimidating up close as its giant muzzle was the size of your entire head.
However the wolf regarded you cautiously like it almost recognized you before releasing its own chillingly deep howl and promptly running off.
Wait– T-The hell?!
You sat there at the trunk of the tree trying to process the interaction that just took place but you didn’t have much time to ponder as you heard something else approaching you rapidly.
The sound of snapping twigs and heavy, uneven footfalls don’t seem to be that of a wolf, renewing the sensation of dread through your body. 
Your heart races in your chest as the ominous sounds of the being looming evermore closer become more pronounced.
From the shadows emerges a monstrous figure.
The fog doesn’t reach this deep into the forest and the moonlight that peeks between the trees glimmers on its enlarged taut muscles. 
Its eyes, red, burn like fiery amber. 
Fierce and resolute you can see them pierce through the darkness long before you can make out any features of the creature's face.
What you think upon first glance must be a demonic apparition from your worst nightmares ends up being– 
Toji?!
As he steps into a beam of moonlight, the transformation before you is complete. 
Toji’s once-human and feet hands have become formidable claws with nails like blades, his face remains mostly unchanged with the exception of his mouth which in his snarl reveals rows of gleaming, razor-sharp teeth.
He is still mostly human in appearance but you can tell he stands taller, nearly 8 feet.
The thicker body hair on his forearms bristles with raw power.
He was completely bare save for the tattered jeans barely hanging on his body that had torn from the sheer size of his enormous muscularity in this form.
Each step he takes towards you makes your heart skip a beat yet you stare transfixed, unable to look away and your tears increase.
Was this terrifying otherworldly apparition the boyfriend you had been searching for?
Time stands still in that haunting moment as Toji’s eyes bore into your soul with a predatory intensity. 
His hunger and primal instincts radiates off of him like a palpable force. 
“T-T-Toji?” 
You cautiously inquire through your quiet sobs. 
“Y/N?! What the fuck do you think y’er doing out here?” 
Toji snarls back at you. His growl seems to cause the very atmosphere to vibrate and the earth beneath you quakes as your body involuntarily quivered with fear. 
Toji thought he must have been losing his goddamn mind when he caught onto your scent earlier but here you were like a lost little lamb to the slaughter before him.
He came out onto the woods to be alone, away from civilization and away from you and Megumi during his monthly transformations. 
It was safer that way, for all of you.
You had been fortunate the local wolf pack had acknowledged him as their Alpha and recognized his scent on you.
But there were far worse dangers in the forest besides them.
Toji wouldn’t be able to protect you like he was now. 
Not with you needing protection from him too.
Protection from him as not only was it a full moon, it was a harvest moon, a mating moon. 
The primal urge to rip you apart was only truncated by the more intense carnal urge to mate with you. Toji wanted to claim you as his and fuck you so hard into the girthy cedar behind you the entire tree would topple over by its roots.
He had wanted to claim you as his mate for a while now.
Even moved you in with him and Megumi as the final step but you couldn’t wait for that, could you? 
You had managed to track him somehow all the way out here and throw his whole plan into the shitter. 
He could barely control himself in this form as it is and now your scent, blubbering cries and the fucking harvest moon were sending him with full force into a fierce rut. 
“T-Toji w-what is this!? W-what’s happened to you!? W-what are you doing out here?!” 
Worry saturates your voice as you choke out your questions in rapid fire cries not giving him time to even respond.
Toji fights the predatory instinct in him who sees you as his prey and if your gaze wasn’t so focused on trying to read his face for answers you surely would have noticed him fully bricked near bursting out of his worn jeans.
You looked so appetizing. 
He needed you.
However, Toji could tell your nerves were completely shot and the slightest twitch of his muscles toward you had you almost jumping out of your skin like a little bunny rabbit.
“Y-Y/N…” 
His voice strained itself into a murmur as he attempted to do his best to lull you into some sort of security so he could explain things calmly to you.
Yet the way he was near salivating, drool dripping from his canines as he panted and towered over you did anything but make you feel secure. 
You mistook his lust for bloodthirstiness.
“Just calm down. It’s OK.”
Toji needed you to be calm like he needed you to take steadier breaths if he was going to successfully win the tumultuous war he was fighting against his instincts to pounce on you. 
There is an oppressive tension between the two of you and he can tell you are also fighting against your fight or flight reflexes.
Good girl. 
It would be disastrous if you did something foolish, no telling what might happen then.
But unfortunately for the both of you, your fits of emotion and impulses are what had your crazy ass out here in the first place. 
The pressure had officially gotten to you. 
Toji’s lies, your car, the woods, the wolves, everything leading up to this point bubbled over because the last thing you wanted to be told right now was to ‘just calm down’.
You snapped. 
“Ok? OK?! OKAY?!...TOJI WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT THIS IS O.K. RIGHT NOW!?”
You were practically hysterical as you yelled at him, momentarily forgetting your fears of Toji’s new form.
The trigger of being told to 'calm down' in a situation where you clearly had every right to feel every fucking emotion you wanted won out over everything else.
“MY CAR BROKE DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK OUT HERE, I LITERALLY WAS JUST CHASED BY WOLVES, ALMOST EATEN, AND Y-YOU… Y-YOU-”
A crackling snap came from above you and you realized Toji’s claws had completely ripped a large chunk out of the tree right above your head.
Your tantrum had in turn pushed him over the edge as well. 
His irises flared intensely at you as you quivered under his gaze in fear.
He would have you but first, he would play with you a bit.
Things never happened the easy way with you.
Yet, that’s also exactly the way Toji liked it too. That's why he'd put up with you thus far.
A malevolent smirk dons Toji's features as his simple command issues an unsettling tremor running down into the depths of your being.
“Run.”
P2 HERE!
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© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ
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A/N: Count on Tsukumo to always given the wrong fuckin’ advice. Lmfao! Or was it the right advice in this case? Hmm we will see what happens next!
Smutty goodness in the next part. This part was just to set the horror mood!
I promise this fic isn't as nearly as long as Ghostface!Choso. It's looking to be about 8k total and I have 3.5k of P2 finished lol.
Reblog if you are both submissive and breedable for Werewolf!Toji, but likes and comments are appreciated all the same!
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@callm3senpaii @arxliana @jujutsualy @luxiethefairy @fredswh0re @missphanosaur18 @moon-esque @briefrebelfanalmond @nikkitc0703 & @dancingwithdeities (prone bone coming in p2 just for u sweets!) LMK below if you would like to be tagged in P2. For all kizzatober fic tags comment on m.list.
815 notes · View notes
supernaturalgirl20 · 1 year
Note
Hey, could you do a fic about Joel knocking up the reader, while living in Jackson? He's such a baby daddy and Everytime I read fics that says he pulled out during sex, I always think "hm, someday he's gonna get someone pregnant" since it's a very ineffective birth control hahaha
Thanks for the request 🥰 I’ve made this one more angsty from the last pregnancy request but it has a happy ending 😉💕
And Then it Happened
Pairings: Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, unprotected sex, PinV sex, Joel is an asshole, mentions of cheating, unplanned pregnancy, little bit of angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of abortion, cursing, fluff, anxiety.
A/N: did a quick edit on this so sorry about any mistakes 🥰
Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰
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The weight of Joel’s arm around your waist felt heavier than normal and the way his hand was splayed across your stomach had anxiety coiling tight within your chest. 
You should have told him last night, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. He had seemed so happy and relaxed for the first time since settling into Jackson that you didn’t want to take from it. 
A groan slips past his lips as he moves his hand from your waist to lay back against the mattress. 
“Mornin’.” His voice is husky with sleep as he pinches the bridge of his nose, his body stretching out his tired muscles. 
“Mornin’,'' you whisper back, a slight quiver in your voice as you turn to face him. He looks at you from beneath his hand with a furrowed brow, his eyes tracing the contours of your face as if he’s searching for something. 
“Everythin’ alright?” His hand falls away from his face as he reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. 
You hum in response, but you can tell from the expression on his face that he isn’t buying it. “I’ma try that again and this time I want the truth,” he turns on his side to face you, his thumb tracing along the seam of your bottom lip as you pull it between your teeth. 
“You bite your lip when you're lyin’ darlin.” His eyes are full of warmth as they gaze at you, and you gulp nervously as the butterflies begin to flutter in your stomach. 
Your breathing becomes ragged and your heart beats harder against your chest as you work up the courage to tell him. 
“I’m pregnant,” you mumble quietly waiting with bated breath for him to say something. “Darlin, ya gotta speak up. I didn’t catch what you said.” 
You can feel his thumb rubbing gently against your cheek and you have to close your eyes to stop the tears from falling. “I'm pregnant!”
The motion of his thumb stops. His hand pulls away from you as he sits up abruptly in bed, the movement drawing your attention to him. 
“What?!” He stutters. His hand runs anxiously through his hair as he stares down at the duvet. You sit up and slowly reach out to him, but he pulls away, his eyes darting quickly to your face. 
“I'm pregnant,” you whisper, almost on the verge of tears. His eyes drift to your lips before meeting your gaze again. “No!” He says it so harshly you flinch. “How the hell did this happen? I ain’t ever cum inside you.” 
“I mean, pulling out isn’t a fool proof method, Joel. It just…” He’s shaking his head and when he looks at you again the warmth in his chocolate-brown eyes is gone. 
“I ain’t ever got anyone else pregnant pulling out. You must be seeing someone else. It ain’t mine.” His words cut you deeper than any knife ever could. You pull the sheets over your naked body as you begin to sob. 
He’s up and out of the bed in a flash as he quickly grabs his clothes off the floor. You want so desperately to reach out and touch him. For him to drop everything and wrap you up in his arms but you know that isn’t going to happen. 
“I - I haven’t slept with anyone else. It’s only been you. I thought we were…” He scoffs as he turns towards you. “You thought we were...what? Together. It was just sex. I told you from the start I couldn’t give you more than that. That I couldn’t give you anything other than someone to share a bed with and you were ok with that.” 
“I was. Until I wasn’t and now, I’m pregnant and whether you like it or not, this baby is yours.” You stand, pulling the sheet around your naked body as you move around the bed towards him. “I love you, Joel. I have for a long time I just didn’t want to scare you away. So, I kept it to myself. I know you have issues from your past and that you lost Sarah…”
“Don’t!” He shouts. “Don’t you dare bring her up.” His finger is pointed at you angrily and his breathing is ragged as he tries to keep himself calm. 
“I’m sorry. I just meant that, I get it. You’re scared and that’s ok because so am I. But we can figure it out together.” You try to move closer to him, but he pulls back. 
“I can’t.” He stutters, his eyes now fixed on your stomach. “I can’t do this again. I won’t. I’m sorry.” He grabs his shirt and throws it over his t-shirt before leaving your room, the door slamming loudly behind him as you stand there staring after him. 
When you hear the front door slam shut you break down crying. The sound of your sobs fills the now-quiet house. You knew he wouldn’t be happy, but you didn’t think he’d abandon you. 
Sitting back against the side of the bed you move your hand to rest over your stomach. “Guess it’s just me and you.” 
***
The weeks that followed were tough. Joel avoided you as much as possible and when he couldn’t, he barely spared you a glance. 
You had asked Tommy to stop putting you on patrol with him, it was too much being in such proximity to him when he wouldn’t even acknowledge you. People had started to talk so it was easier if you went your separate ways. 
“Ya sure?” Tommy asked, his eyebrows raised in question. “You and Joel make a great team.” You nodded. “It’s for the best.”
“Somethin’ happen between you two. Joel’s been grumpier than usual.” He stood leaning against the door with a soft smile on his face. 
“Just didn’t work out, that's all.”  Tommy didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push you on it. “He ain’t gonna be happy bout this, ya know?” 
“I don’t care. He’s gonna have to get over it. Also, I was hoping to speak to Maria. Is she about?” He nodded before tilting his head to the side. “She’s out back. Want me to get her for ya?”
“Is it ok if I head on back?” He nods, stepping aside to let you pass by before he grabs his denim jacket. “Will you tell Maria I’m gonna head out and find Joel. Gotta go and break the good news to him.” 
“Sure. And Tommy, make sure he’s alright for me.” He winks at you before closing the door behind him. You make your way out back to find Maria planting some seeds, baby Luna cooing up at her from her stroller. 
“Hey,” you say softly, hoping not to startle them as you walk out into the garden. “Oh hey, I wasn't expecting you.” She dusted her hands on her jeans as she stood to greet you with a hug. 
“Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about something. Tommy said he’s gone to find Joel.” Maria smiles at you before bending down to pick Luna up. “Sure, let's head back inside and I’ll make us a cup of tea.”
“So, what’s up,” she asks, placing Luna in her highchair and making her way to the stove to start boiling the water. You shift nervously from one foot to the other and when you don’t answer, Maria turns around to look at you. 
“Everything ok?” Her eyes are wide with concern and when you start to cry, she rushes over and pulls you into a tight hug. “It’s Joel, isn’t it? I knew it. I told Tommy somethin had happened between you two.” 
Her hands rubbed your back soothingly as you calmed down to a quiet sob. “I’m - I'm pregnant. It’s Joel’s.”
“Well, that’s obvious.” She teases as she pulls back slightly. You let out a little laugh before you sob again. 
“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I just ....”
“No,” you shake your head, wiping the tears from your face. “Joel doesn’t think it’s his. Well at least I think so…I don’t know. He said that he’s never…. ya know…cum inside me so it couldn’t be his but I told him that the pullout method isn’t guaranteed. Sorry, I’m rambling.”
Maria shushes you. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Jesus, I knew I didn’t like him for a reason. Asshole. You ain’t been with anyone else since he got here. Hell, anyone with a set of eyes can see you’re besotted by him.”
She pulls away and makes you both some hot tea before ushering you into the sitting room. “Here,” she hands you a cup and takes a seat beside you, Luna sitting happily in her chair eating some porridge. 
“I don’t know what to do,” you whisper as you take a sip of the hot liquid. You don’t know if you can do it without him. “Well first things first, are you keeping it? If you don’t want to, we have options here. You can take some herbs that will terminate the pregnancy.”
Shaking your head, you place the cup on the coffee table. “No, I want to keep it. I’ve - I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Never thought I’d get the chance.”
“Ok, then we can help you. You won’t be alone in this. Tommy and I will be there and Ellie. Does she know yet?” 
“No. I haven’t said anything, and I don’t know if I should. It’s not my place and besides me and Joel, we weren’t together like that.”
“Oh, bullshit. Who said that Joel? He’s more delusional than I thought. You two were joined at the hip, you were practically married. And look with Ellie it’s up to you but she is gonna find out eventually, I mean you’re gonna start showing and then what?”
“I know. I’ll think about it. What happens now?” You reach out and take your cup in hand again, sipping slowly on the warm tea. Maria smiles as she glances at her daughter. “Well, we have a scanning machine so the doctor can determine how far along you are and if the baby is doing ok. He’ll give you the vitamins you need to be taking and keep a regular eye on you.”
“Wow, that’s amazing. Didn’t think those were still available.” You smile over at Luna as she makes grabby hands at Maria. 
“Yeah, we found one at the nearest hospital and Tommy brought it back hoping it would still work, and it did. He was a little over-cautious when I was pregnant.” She laughs as Luna bounces happily in her lap. 
“We should get you over to him now, that way we know for sure what’s going on.” Maria stands and quickly bundles Luna into her stroller ready to take you to the doctor. You make it to the end of the street when you bump into Tommy and Joel. 
They’re laughing at something Tommy said but as soon as they spot you Joel's face goes serious. All four of you stop and Joel just stares at you. It’s awkward. Tommy and Maria share a look, but you don’t notice, too caught up in the way Joel is staring at you. 
“Where are my two girls off to?” Tommy asks as he pulls Maria in close for a kiss. The sound of his voice breaks Joel from his trance and his gaze drifts to Luna who's cooing up at him. 
“Just bringing Y/N to see Jason.” You can feel Joel’s eyes on you again, but you refuse to meet his gaze, focusing instead on Tommy.
“You’re not sick are ya?” He asks, worried, as his eyes drift to you. You shake your head and glance at Joel before meeting his gaze again. 
“Alright, we’ll leave you, ladies, to it. See ya home for dinner,” he says to Maria before kissing her softly. “Yeah. I’ve left everything simmering on the stove so just wait until I get back.” 
Joel’s gaze follows you until both you and Maria are out of sight. “Alright, what the hell is goin’ on with two? And don’t say nothin, 'cause that ain’t nothin.” 
Joel huffs out a breath as he stares at his brother, the crease between his brows deepening. “She’s pregnant,” He snapped. 
“And you ain’t happy bout it, I take it?” Tommy asked, quickly masking the shock on his face.  They continue to walk, making their way through town towards the empty bar. Joel exhales loudly as he takes a seat at the bar. “I don’t know how I feel,” he sighs as Tommy hands him a glass of whiskey.
He tips his glass in the air towards his brother before downing the golden liquid. “I never thought I’d ever be a dad again, not after…not after Sarah.”
Tommy refills his glass, taking a sip of his drink. “I know. But you’re a dad to Ellie, what's one more.” He leans across the bar, eyes focused on Joel as he picks at a beer mat. “And you love Y/N, even if you can’t admit it out loud. Joel, I’ve watched you struggle my whole life, I’ve watched you blame yourself for Sarah but guess what? It ain’t your fault. None of it is. This is your second chance at a normal life, if it were me, I’d grab it with both hands. Hell, I already did. We’re safe here. So, what’s holding you back?”
“I don’t deserve it.” He gulps back his second glass and bangs it down on the bar before standing and leaving Tommy alone. 
“Stubborn ass,” Tommy shouts after him.
***
You’ve begun to show. A small bump that was barely visible from a distance but a clear sign to the people of Jackson that their community was growing. 
Ellie had found out about the baby and has been practically living at your side since. Joel had told her after his night with Tommy and even though you’re not sure what exactly he told her, you’re happy it didn’t cause a rift between them. 
“I hope it’s a boy,” she beams as she helps you prepare dinner. You smile at her as you cut up the potatoes. “I have a feeling it’s a girl. Call it mother’s intuition.” 
“As long as I can teach them how to hunt, I’m happy with either.” You snigger and she smiles up at you, happy to see you laugh for once. 
“Joel thinks it’s a girl too,” she says as she peels the carrots, her smile fading when she realises what she’s said. Her eyes drift to you and when she sees you standing still, hands shaking slightly she pales. 
“M’sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to bring him up…I just….” You shake your head, placing the knife gently down on the countertop as you untie your apron. “I’m just - I’m gonna just head to the store. I completely forgot the flour for dessert.” 
Rushing out the door you let your legs carry you as you try to catch your breath. He thought you were having a girl. Had he been talking about the baby to Ellie? Does he want to be a father now? 
Your mind was racing with these thoughts, and you were distracted when you turned the corner. A gasped breath leaves your lungs when you see Joel laughing at something the pretty blonde woman said. Who the fuck was she? 
You feel your heart shattering into little pieces and your lungs tighten as you take in the happy expression on his face. You have to get out of here, you think to yourself, but before you can move, he turns and catches your gaze. 
Something flashes behind his eyes, and he starts to move towards you but you don’t want to talk to him. Can’t bear for him to tell you he’s moved on, so you run home. 
The door closes behind you and you rest your head against it, willing your lungs to take the breaths you desperately need. A soft knock startles you, but you already know who it is. 
“What do you want Joel?” You ask as you turn to face the wooden door. You can hear him sigh deeply from the other side. “S’not what you thought, darlin. I promise.”
“And what is it you think I thought?” You can feel a deep anger bubbling away beneath the surface of your skin. 
“Please - please just let me in and we can talk.” You scoff. “Now you wanna talk. You had over a month and instead of talking to me, you completely ignored me.”
“I know, darlin’ but please, just let me say my piece and if you want nothin to do with me still, I’ll leave you alone.” That ache in your chest starts again and you find yourself torn between wanting to hear him out and telling him to fuck off. 
“Fine. You have ten minutes.” You turn the handle and open the door to find him standing with his hands in his jeans pocket, head facing the ground but as soon as he hears the door open, his gaze meets yours. 
“Hey.” His eyes take you in, lingering on the swell of your stomach, something he hadn’t noticed until now. His breath catches at the sight, and he wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you. He knows he can’t. 
“So. You’ve moved on then?” You start as you move further into the house, Joel hot on your heels. 
“What?! I ain’t moved on, no that’s - shit that’s not what that was I promise.” He sighs, running his hand down along his face.  “She’s helping me with something.”
“Sure.” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “Does she know you’re about to have a baby you want nothing to do with? That you abandoned the woman who loves you.” 
“You shouldn’t love me. I’m not a good man. I ain’t good enough for you darlin. There are a lot of other men here that are far better for you than me.” His hands are at his side now and you can tell from the way he flexes them that he wants to reach out to you. 
“I don’t want other men. I just want you,” you whisper. “Do you love me?”
“It’s not that simple. I - I’m scared darlin’.” His voice breaks and you can see he’s holding back tears. 
“I hate to break it to you Joel, but love is fucking scary. It strips you raw to the bone and leaves you vulnerable but that’s also the beauty of it. I never thought in a million years I’d find it in this fucked up world and yet I did. I love you, Joel. I love Ellie and this baby and even Tommy and Maria and loving all of these people put me at risk of getting hurt but I love them anyway.” 
You take a deep breath, eyes drifting towards the window before you meet his gaze again. “I know you’re scared. Scared to have connections, scared to love but guess what, so am I. Everyone is. But I’m willing to take the chance, are you?” 
He nods as he releases a breath. His shoulders relax and the hard planes of his face soften as he shifts closer.  It’s like a switch has flicked for him and he realises what an idiot he’s been. 
“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry for everything. I never meant those things I said that morning, I was just scared is all. I know that ain’t no excuse but it’s the truth.” His eyes drift to the small bump visible beneath his plaid shirt. 
He wondered where that shirt had gone. He smiles softly at the idea that you’ve been wearing it this whole time. He wants to reach out and touch you. To run his hand over your bump but he doesn’t. 
“Let me prove I can give you more, that I can be the kind of man who deserves you and our baby. Please darlin’,” he begs, his eyes pleading as he moves closer. You feel a swell of emotion rising in your throat, threatening to spill out and even though there’s a small part of you that still hates him for what he said that morning, an even bigger part loves him more than life itself. 
Words escape you but with a simple nod of your head, he slips an arm around your waist pulling you close. The other cradles your cheek, his thumb rubs circles into your skin as he stares at you lovingly. 
“I’m gonna make it up to you baby, I promise. We’re in this together, always.” A watery smile spreads across your face and his eyes drift briefly to your lips before he begins to lean in. When his lips touch yours it’s as if a spark has been lit and you can’t help the soft moan that slips out. 
The kiss becomes more heated by the second and he pulls you closer, so close that you can feel the warmth from his skin seeping into you, that you can feel the evidence of his arousal against your thigh. The sound of a door closing upstairs startles you both. “It’s just me. Is it safe to come down now? I’m just gonna head to Dina’s and then you two can get back to sucking the face off each other,” Ellie calls from the hallway before she makes her way into the kitchen. 
Pulling away with a laugh, Joel rests his head against yours. “So, you weren’t flirting with that woman?” You ask for the second time. He chuckles, unable to think that your jealousy is anything but cute. 
“I promise you, darlin’. I was just trying to get some stuff for the baby. Was gonna gather as much as I could for a nursery at the new house and then I was gonna come to beg for forgiveness.” 
You breathe a sigh of relief. Thank fuck, you think to yourself as you wind your arms around his neck. He slips his own tighter around your waist and you close your eyes and breathe him in. He smells of whiskey and citrus. He smells like home. 
“What new house?” You question as you pull away slightly. 
“Oh, you told her. Finally, can I come with you when you show her,” Ellie’s voice sounds from behind you and you both turn to face her. 
“No kid, you got school, remember,” Joel says, his voice a little stern as he tilts his head towards the front door. 
“Ugh, fine. Whatever. I’ll see you later.” She huffs out as she turns to leave. Joel turns his attention back to you and he smiles down at you as you look at him with confusion on your face. 
“Come on, got somethin’ I need to show ya.” He links his hand with yours and guides you out of the house and down the street. “Where are we going?” You ask as you look around, the houses slowly fading away as he pulls you towards a small house at the edge of Jackson. 
“This,” he says as he pulls you to stand in front of him. His arms slip around your waist to cradle your bump. “Is home.”
“Home?” Your voice squeaks as you take in the once-dilapidated house, now fully refurbished. He hums as he rests his head on your shoulder. “Yeah, home. Been working on this since you told me you were pregnant. Roped Tommy into helpin’ me too. It’s not much, but it’s ours. Somewhere for us to call home and be a family.” 
A strangled sob escapes from your lips and he turns you in his arms, holding you close as he tilts your chin upwards. “The minute I left you that mornin’ I regretted it. Went straight to
Tommy and told him I wanted to work on this for us”, his hand moves to rest on your bump, “for our family.”
“It’s got plenty of room. Four bedrooms, a nice size kitchen and a living room. Ellie already has her stuff moved in and I think I’ve got most of the things we’ll need for the baby. Now all that’s left to do is ask if you’re willing to move in with us. With me.”
“Yes. Yeah, I’m ready.” He smiles brightly at you before capturing your lips in a searing kiss. 
“Wanna see it, darlin’?” You nod your head and twine your fingers with his as he leads you inside. You gasp in awe as you take everything in. It’s beautiful. Homely. Somewhere you can picture yourself for the rest of your life. 
“I love it, Joel.” He smiles, “come on, I wanna show you the nursery.” He leads you up the stairs and down the hall to the last room on the left. He holds the handle in his hand and turns to you with a smile. “Ready?”
You nod. Heart racing as he slowly opens the door, and you gasp when you see the way he has decorated it. A pale yellow adorns the walls with pictures of animals in small frames. There’s a small crib in the middle of the room and a little dresser to one side. On the other, there’s a rocking chair and a small bookshelf beside it with a few books already littering the shelves. 
“Joel - Joel it’s amazing. I can’t believe you did all this. Where’d you find everything?” He stands beside you with his arm around your waist. “Found most of it on patrols. Borrowed the chair from Lauren,” he leans in close, his breath hot on your ear, “the woman you were jealous of. And I made the crib myself.”
“You made it? Oh, Joel…” you begin to cry, and he pulls you close kissing the top of your head. “Shh, baby. It’s alright. I want our little one to have the best is all.” 
“Thank you. I mean it…this is amazing.” He leans in and kisses you softly. “Gotta provide for what’s mine. Now, how about I show you our room,” he teases as he quirks a brow. 
You shake your head as you giggle. “Go on then.” Your new shared room is right next door and when you walk inside you take a quick look around. It looks cosy. A huge bed, two lockers and a bookshelf with some of your favourites. 
Your heart swells but you don't get to dwell on it as he quickly closed the door behind him and pushed you gently onto the bed. He stood there staring, his eyes taking in the curve of your body and the swell of your stomach with hunger you’d never seen in him before, and you shuddered. 
“Been thinkin’ bout this for far too long, darlin’.” He breaths raggedly, his eyes watching carefully as you begin to remove your clothing. He gulps and a strangled groan slips past his slightly rough lips as he takes in the sight of you bare, the peak of your nipples pebbling with the cool air. 
He quickly shucks off his boots as he climbs up the bed towards you, his body completely covering you. His mouth finds your nipple, pulling it between his teeth and you moan loudly, fingers running through his hair. 
A sudden need washed over you. A need to feel him against you. To feel his bare skin against your own as you both seek out that pleasure you’ve wanted since that last morning. 
With a shaky breath, you slowly move his shirt up his body and he’s quick to help you. Pulling the shirt over his shoulders, he tosses it onto the floor and his jeans quickly follow leaving him bare. His hazel eyes stare down at you and there’s a vulnerability behind them. 
You reach up wrapping your hand around his neck and you pull him into you, your lips meeting in a searing kiss. His hands grip your hips tight as he nestles himself between your thighs, careful not to crush you or the baby. 
You angled your hips, urging him to sink inside you and take what he wanted. Taking himself in his hand, he notches the head of his cock at your entrance and with a roll of his hips, he sinks into your heat. 
“Fuck, darlin’. So, god damn tight,” he says with a strangled groan. He begins to move, slowly at first pulling himself almost out before pushing back in. 
The sound of your soft whimpers and the sight of you writhing in pleasure beneath him has him losing his fucking mind. He grabs your leg, throwing it over his hip as he begins to pound into you, the bed groaning with each thrust of his hips. 
“Fuck, darlin’…I’m-I’m so close…need ya to…need ya to come first,” he groans into the skin of your neck, his teeth nipping you softly. 
“Joel…. oh god I’m gonna….” You gasp as your orgasm pulses through you. He lets out a strangled groan at the feel of your cunt clenching tight around him. 
His hips begin to falter and the only sounds he lets out are soft grunts as he nears his release. He rolls his hips again and again until he cums, groaning loudly as he spills inside you. 
He slowly pulls out and reaches over the side of the bed to grab his tattered t-shirt, using it to clean you up.  He collapses onto the bed beside you pulling you into his chest. 
His fingers trace a pattern into your skin. “Ellie said you think it’s a girl.” You watch as a smile edges its way onto his face, his palm resting gently over the swell of your stomach. 
“I don’t think darlin’, I know. She’s gonna be pretty like her mama. Cheeky like her big sister and she’s gonna have me wrapped around her little finger.” A hint of sadness washes over his face and you reach out to touch his cheek. 
“Hey, you ok?” He smiles then, his eyes glossing over with unshed tears. “Yeah, darlin’. I’m happy it’s just…”
“You’re thinkin about Sarah.” His eyes widened. How do you always know what he’s thinkin?
“Yeah. She always wanted to be a big sister. She’d be so excited about this little one.”
“Maybe we could have Sarah be her middle name. A way to remember her big sister.” Joel smiles pulling you into him as he crashes his lips to yours. “You are amazing’ darlin, you know that? Got my whole world right here,” he says, cradling your stomach once more. 
“Don’t forget about me,” Ellie shouts from her room. You both turn to look at the door. “How the hell did she come in without us knowin’?” Joel shifts to lean on his elbow. You shrug your shoulders as a small giggle escapes you. 
“Think it’s funny do ya?” He begins to tickle you and you start to laugh loudly. “Are you two done? Because I’m starving.” 
Joel laughs then, resting his head in the crook of your neck. “Suppose we better get up and make some dinner. Then I’m gonna rope Tommy into helpin’ me move your stuff over.”
“Sounds like a plan, Miller.” You watch as he dresses and makes for the door. He turns to face you, “better get used to that name darlin’ cause you’re gonna be a Miller soon too.” With a wink, he opens the door and makes his way downstairs leaving you alone, shocked at what he just said. 
Mrs Miller. You like the sound of that. 
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pinkie-pop · 2 months
Text
"I Have Something To Tell You."
Part I Part II Part III
Featuring: Gender-Neutral Reader, Yandere Genshn Impact, non religious SAGAU, Yandere Fatui Harbingers
Word count: 3.1k
Includes: Portrayal of mental illness, suicide, description of injury,
Synopsis: After killing yourself and landing in the world of Genshin Impact, you reflect on all that has gone wrong.
•~•~•~•~•~•
You don't really want to go home. Not exactly. But it's easier to say you miss your bed than to say you'd be fine with any bed, so long as it isn't the one in your wing. 
You thought people who get isekaied into new worlds were supposed to be happy. You've always been unlucky, you suppose. That's right. It's easier to say you were unlucky than to face the reality of the situation: that this was all your own fault.
You should have sucked it up. Should have gone to counseling or stayed at a hospital. Should have done something else. Should have done anything else.
You should never have killed yourself. 
•~•~•~•~•~•
It all started maybe a week ago. You've always been depressed. Never passionate about anything other than your video games, never smiling at anything other than a shiny new character or banner weapon, but it had never been this bad before. For all the talk, you had never actually wanted to die.
But then something changed. You aren't quite sure what it was that set you off. Maybe a particularly bad day at work, a side effect from an experimental medication you're on, or nothing at all. Regardless, something changed, and it changed fast. Soon, death became all you could think about. It plagued your mind both night and day until, at last, you slit your wrists in the bathtub, and when that didn't work, and you woke up again, you climbed up your local water tower and jumped off.
But it didn't matter. You woke up again. Looking different, but still undeniably you. Your face and voice had changed, but the same two scars still sit mockingly upon your wrists. You can't say you're prettier now, just different. Weren't the protagonists of transmigration stories meant to wake up in beautiful bodies, completely unlike their originals? So why was it that your hair and eyes remained the same, that only your face and body had differed? 
“Your body,” Dottore explained, “was completely destroyed during your fall. So it reconstructed itself, leaving you a little different, a little the same. That's why,” he said, tapping your wrists,”—that these are still here.” Any other scars you have had disappeared from your body, any blemishes vanished, though the two on your wrists remained. It left you looking smooth and unfinished, a pale imitation of who you once were. Like someone who had only seen you a couple of times tried to draw you from memory. Dottore told you it was because you were attached to them. That the scars shaped your soul, hence their survival. You didn't quite understand, if you're being honest, but he seemed to know what he was talking about, so you didn't bother to question it.
When you woke up again after death, the first thing you noticed was how cold it was. The chill wind was bitter against your white nightwear, the breeze penetrating through the thin fabric as easily as a needle piercing one's skin. The cold seemed to seep into you, lodging itself deep inside your bones. 
It was snowing, you realized dimly. That's odd. It hardly ever snowed anymore. The thought that you ought to have been dead by now hadn't yet occured to you, only the thought of cold and bitter winter days lingered in your mind. You thought of school being dismissed due to snow in your youth, of playing and building snowmen as a child. You recalled how the snow eventually stopped coming in winters, due to the Earth’s gradual heating. When it did come, it was a sad and pathetic thing, only a few inches total, melting as soon as it hit the ground. 
You thought long and deeply, in an odd, serene state of mind despite, or perhaps because of the polar cold. You aren't quite sure how long you stayed there, reminiscing, but it must have been quite a while, seeing as how your fingers and toes turned black, contrasting starkly against the snow.
It was Tartaglia who found you first, buried knee-deep in snow, strangely calm despite the way your fingertips are blackened by the cold. Of course, you were calm. You were supposed to be dead anyway.
“You okay there, comrade?” He asked you, waving a hand in front of your face. You blinked at him slowly but otherwise didn't respond. You were so still that he would have thought you dead if not for the soft rising and falling of your chest. Tartaglia attributed your inaction to shock—a symptom he's seen plenty of during his time as a Fatuus. Seeing as how you seemed unable (or perhaps unwilling) to move, he simply picked you up and dragged you back to the Zapolyarny Palace, where you were able to warm up and get treatment.
In normal circumstances, your arms and legs would have had to be amputated, but your circumstances were far from normal.
Dottore was the one who had saved your limbs (Your legs, having been buried in the snow for hours, were beyond saving, but your fingers and hands were able to recover). For that, you were grateful. He’s a creep, sure, but sentiments of debt made you tolerate his odd rambles about medical malpractice. Made you politely ignore the way his hands seemed to linger and stray.
After all, if he could save your limbs from certain death, he could most certainly remove them with just as much ease, too.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•
The mirror in your quarters is broken. 
You punched it when you first saw yourself reflected in its panes and refused to get a replacement, despite the many urgings of Pantalone to let him buy you one. Simply having your mirror broken was not enough to completely block out your new reflection, so you requested a can of blackout paint to be brought over to your room, where you then did a—in hindsight—rather shoddy job of enshrouding the reflective surface. It looked bad, but you didn't care. 
All you cared about was never seeing the face that you hesitate to call yours ever again. 
•~•~•~•~•~•~•
You aren't quite sure why Tartaglia brought you back to the Palace when it would have been much easier to leave you in the snow. You asked him about it once, but his response was less than satisfactory. 
“You could say I fell in love with you at first sight,” he said, ruffling your hair. Because what could be more charming than a frostbitten civilian in white nightwear that camouflages them in the snow?
You decided then and there to ignore any questions you had about the Harbingers’ growing attachment to you. You didn't need to know why they felt the way they did. Only that they did.
Only that they do.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
You were given a luxurious room at the Palace, far nicer than even the best of five-star resorts you could never afford. You even had your own personal maid, a brawny woman named Lera (an aptly chosen name, considering it means strength). She had her own helpers that also attended to you, three girls named Ana, Ulyana, and Irina (Ana and Ulyana are twins belonging to two rather uncreative parents, and Irina is an only child). Ana and Ulyana seem to be around your age, Irina a few years younger, and Lera about two decades older. Having the four of them around makes you feel as if you've been transmigrated into a romance fantasy novel.
When Tartaglia brought you to the Zapolyarny Palace, it caused a small ripple of chaos in its wake. The halls were filled with whispers about the strange person who seemed to have captured the heart of the eleventh Harbinger. Even more shocking than that, however, was the second’s agreement to heal you. There were many rumors going about, talk of backroom deals that must have been done to get Dottore to agree to save your arms, but no proof of such things were ever found. Some brave souls claimed that Dottore had also fallen for you and that that was why he had agreed to help. These people were hushed by their friends rather quickly, for fear of their own lives.
Stranger still was the seventh’s involvement in your recovery. Sandrone, though you're not sure how she heard about it or why she had decided to help, had created a pair of porcelain legs for you to wear. They were pretty, like a doll’s, a pale eggshell white with elegant gold carvings etched into the skin. They were comfortable, too, so much so that you almost forgot they were prosthetic, and Lera had to remind you multiple times to take them off before heading to bed.
You wanted to thank Sandrone for your legs, but you haven't seen her since your measurements and fitting. You asked a servant to send a message to her, but you've gotten no indication that she's even received it, let alone a response. As for Dottore, you were able to send your regards through Ulyana, who had to visit his section of the Palace anyway.
Tartaglia visits you daily, and soon you begin to coincidentally meet with the other Harbingers, who always seemed to have time for entertainment in the form of you.
“Oh, are you the one that our dear Tartaglia is so smitten with?” Came the sing-songy voice of Columbina. You pause, turning around slowly. To be honest, Columbina was one of the Harbingers you'd most like to avoid. Her soft voice sent shivers down your spine that—you hope—would be attributed to the cold instead. 
You turn towards her, and, afraid your voice might crack, say nothing and simply nod instead. 
“What’s your name, little songbird?” She asks you. You give it to her in a quiet voice, and she returns it with her own. Before she can say anything more, Tartaglia comes by and wraps an arm around you, making up some excuse about the two of you having someplace you needed to be. Columbina watches the two of you leave in silence, a small, closed-eyed smile upon her face.
Later, Tartaglia warns you away from Columbina. “There's something not right with her,” he says, a rare frown dancing upon his lips. “I can't place it, but you're better off staying away. And that's not just because I'd rather keep you to myself.” He then smiles and ruffles your hair in an attempt to lighten the mood. You don't say anything, but nod when he asks you to avoid her.
Pantalone is next. He visits you directly, bringing with him two golden bracelets you have no choice but to let him place upon your wrists. They do a good job of covering up your scars, which you assume is the intention behind the gift. It's oddly thoughtful, coming from him. But you know better than to think it was free.
You aren't sure if you want to know what he expects in exchange.
You meet with La Signora next, and you're surprised to see that she's still alive. You suppose the Traveler hasn't made it to Inazuma in this world yet. That's strange, but you decide not to dwell on it.
Next is Dottore’s segments, also still alive, and all of whom seem to enjoy lingering around your quarters. You often find one or two hanging around in the hallways, always making light conversation or asking if you require anything. You know better than to write it off as a coincidence, and for a while you entertained the thought that Dottore had put them up to it, before promptly writing it off as ridiculous. 
Still, a small part of you can't help but wonder if the doctor has taken a special interest in one of his dear patients.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Two weeks into your stay at the Zapolyarny Palace, you overhear a conversation amongst the servants. You hide behind a banister and listen in.
“How long has it been now?” Says a maid, a nervous hand tangled in her hair, tugging it slightly. You’ve seen her before but have never gotten her name. She’s speaking to another maid who you recognize as Tatinana.
“Almost a month, I’d say,” responds the other, gently stopping her from ruining her braids.
“Everyone’s getting antsy. I’ve never seen Lord Tartaglia so irritable.”
“I know what you mean. He used to be such a laid-back guy. Now, you can barely even hold a conversation without him looking at you like he’s ready to tear out your eyes. Lord Scaramouche has gotten even more unbearable to be around, too. And you can tell the Player’s absence has taken a toll on everyone else as well.” Player, huh? If their absence is so heavily noticed, they must be important. It’s odd, though. You’ve never once heard about such a character existing at all, let alone their disappearance. You keep listening, hoping for clues about this mysterious person’s identity.
“Don’t you think the timing is a little odd? They showed up right before the Player stopped logging in. They’ve got the Harbingers wrapped around their finger. It’s too precise to be a coincidence. There’s something to it, I just know it.” Is she…talking about you now? So this ‘Player’ disappeared right before you showed up? They stopped ‘logging in’? Well, isn’t that wording a bit peculiar? It sure sounds like gamer lingo to you.
This Player that they mentioned…it couldn’t be you, could it?
“Enough with your conspiracies. Let’s get back to work before—” A floorboard creaks from under your foot, and the two maids freeze. You suppose there’s no use in hiding anymore, so you step out to face them.
“E-esteemed guest, w-what brings you here?”
“Ah, nothing much,” you say. “I heard voices and came to take a look. What were you two talking about?” You ask casually, stuffing your hands in your pockets.
“Nothing!” The girl with braided hair squeaks. You raise an eyebrow at her, and the other shakes her head.
The girl sighs. “We aren’t supposed to talk about them,” she says.
“Maria, I think they heard,” Tatiana says. “What do you want to know?”
“Tell me more about this ‘Player’ you mentioned.” 
“Didn’t stop you before.”
“Right, well…” She pauses, seemingly formulating her next words carefully. “It’s this…force. This being behind the Traveler. We don’t know its true nature, none of us have ever seen anything like it. It controls the Traveler and their companions like a puppet to its puppeteer.”
“They’ve lost their minds,” Maria whispers. “It’s scary. They make us clean a ghost’s room. Every day, it has to be spotless.”
“And? What’s the goal?”
“That’s the thing…none of us know. The Harbingers know something, they’re all obsessed with the Player, they’re convinced that the Player holds some kind of power they can utilize, but the Player isn’t from Teyvat, and only Lord Tartaglia has figured out how to interact with it.”
“Interact with it how?”
“By being possessed. All the Harbingers want to be controlled by the Player, they think it’ll make them stronger. But it’s more than that. They used to just want to use the Player for their own gain, but somewhere along the way things changed. They’ve been working on a way to bring them here, and when they do there’s a whole wing in the Zapolyarny Palace dedicated to them.”
“It was unbearable right after the Player first disappeared, the air was suffocating. But then Lord Tartaglia brought you back and things started to return to normal. I overheard him saying being with you reminded him of when the Player used to take control.” You nod, the cogs in your head turning furiously. That settles it, then. Without a shred of doubt, you are the Player.
“Hey, so listen…”
The Tsarista summoned you and all Harbingers to a meeting in an effort to control the chaos your revelation had caused.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
You thought you were prepared to see the Tsarista for the first time, but nothing in the world could prepare you for the sheer, glacial beauty standing in front of you. Her presence was strong, commanding obedience with a simple glance. Her eyes looked at you coldly, interest evident in her face as she called the meeting to order. A beautiful crown of ice sat upon her head, her impossibly white hair elegantly framing her face as it cascaded down her back.
The meeting passed by in a blur. You remember them talking about your need to be protected, to never leave the Palace without at least two Harbingers or the Tsaritsa herself escorting you. You remember telling them about how you died, stating simply that you ‘fell from a high place’ and omitting the part where you jumped. You remember the color of the buttons each Harbinger wore on their coat. But you don’t remember the part where you agreed to stay with them. You don’t remember anyone even asking.
After the meeting, news of your true identity spread like wildfire. Some people didn’t believe it, calling you a fraud or an imposter, but those voices were quickly snuffed out the second the Harbingers started to accept your new status as the Player. Immediately, you were moved to the Player’s Wing in the Zapolyarny Palace, an easy move, considering you had no possessions. 
You don’t know why they’re trying so hard to win your favor or even if they realize that they’re failing, but either way, you know you need to get out of here. You’d try dying again if you thought that would work, but after seeing your scars, the Harbingers have already blocked all potential means of speeding up your expiration date. That only leaves one option.
The Harbingers’ visits, already a nuisance, became overbearing in no time. If it wasn’t Tartaglia dragging you to his training hall, it was Dottore giving you the nitty-gritty of his latest experiments. If it wasn’t Arlecchino shoving sweets down your throat, it was Pantalone burying you in gifts.
If it wasn’t one, it was always the other. 
You have to run away. 
But how? The Harbingers are all working together to keep you under constant lock and key.
Maybe if you were able to break the bonds they’ve formed with each other, you could recruit one of them to help you. They’re all selfish assholes. You’re sure it wouldn’t be difficult to convince one of them they’d be better off keeping you to themselves.
“I have something to tell you,” you say, brushing a strand of hair out of the Balladeer’s face. “It’s about Dottore.”
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alwaysmoncheri · 1 month
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hiii would u be open to writing remus lupin x reader with the prompt *x put head on y’s shoulder* “just don’t leave…” with either remus saying it or the reader? no worries if not <3 🦌🦌
hi, my love!! thank you for requesting! i hope this is what you’re looking for! i was in a little bit of a writer block last night so this may not be my best work, i apologize for that, honey </3
cw: fem!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of remus being a werewolf, remus feels insecure, the marauders not being very helpful, established relationship, crying, 0.9k
<3
Remus isn’t one to hide who he is, you know he’s a werewolf, he’s been vulnerable with you before, so when he starts to become a little distant from you, you know exactly why. The past few days have been rough for him, you know. Leading up to a full moon is almost always worse than the aftermath. But this time, Remus seems particularly bothered. He still holds your hand to classes and reads to you at night, but something about the way he always is distracted, like loosely holing your hand without knowing and constantly losing his place while reading makes you feel like his mind is truly elsewhere.
The Marauders aren’t helping the situation either. Sure, they’re supportive of their friend and you know they’re always there for him, but the pitying glances don’t go unnoticed by both you and Remus and you don’t presume he is very fond of those looks. You don’t blame him.
At dinner, the night before the full moon, James, Sirius, and Peter keep repeating the same set of motions. Their eyes dart from each other, their food, to Remus, and back to each other. You fight the urge to roll your eyes at their obvious display of concern because Remus doesn’t really need that right now and they should know that after all this time. After tolerating the silent glances for the majority of dinner, Remus shifts uncomfortably, his eyes not leaving his food. You gently slide your hand into his, hoping offer some comfort, and when he accepts you take it a step furthur and draw small circles with your thumb on the back of his hand. This doesn’t last long. When the other three boys offer sympathetic smiles, Remus notices and stands from his seat, dropping your hand and walking out of The Great Hall with quick strides.
“Would you guys quit it?” you hiss at the boys across the table who’s eyes widen at the abrupt snap of your head in their direction.
“What?” They reply in unison and share a few nervous glances before returning to your harsh gaze.
“Remus clearly isn’t doing well,” you say, pointing out the obvious, “the least you can do is not look at him like he’s dying.” you add gesturing in the direction of the door, where Remus had walked out of.
“We’re not—”
“Save it,” you cut James off, who makes an attempt to defend the three of them. You roll your eyes, standing from your seat, “I’m going to check on him.” you state before following the previous path of your boyfriend, out the door and to your dorms.
When you arrive in the common room and head towards the boys’ dorm you hear quiet sobs echoing through the door. Your throat tightens and you hesitate to move towards the sound, but you do anyway because you know Remus needs somebody and you’re always willing to be that somebody.
“Remus?” you call out before pushing the door open and are met with a sniffling Remus, eyes red and puffy. Your heart almost breaks in two, the sight enough to make you feel the clenching in your chest and for a moment, you unknowingly hold your breath.
“Hey, lovely.” Remus greets and his voice cracks with the attempt to cover a sob that might’ve escaped his lips.
“Oh, honey.” you whisper and Remus bows his head, with shame or just to wipe the tears off his face, you don’t know. You walk towards the bed before sitting next to him, hand rubbing his shoulder, slowly sliding down to hold his hand, once more, “Do you want to talk about it?” you offer, bringing Remus to lift his head up and meet your gaze, a lump grows in your throat at his broken expression and you try to keep it together for him.
“I’m just so tired—” Remus starts, before a sob escapes his lips. He reaches out for you and you don’t hesitate to bring him into your arms, his head rests on your shoulder, your hands cupping the back of his neck, while his hands wrap around you waist, “ —I don’t want to be like this anymore.” Remus admits, his voice breaking and you feel your shirt dampen with tears.
“Hey, I’m here.” you say, gently running your hands through Remus’s hair and up and down the length of his back, “James, Sirius and Peter are here.” You add and you feel Remus’s sobs turn to sniffles against your shoulder. “Even if they get on your nerves, they mean well.”
“I know…” Remus says, the sound muffled against your shoulder. He lifts his head, your eyes meeting his puffy ones, “Is it okay if we just stay like this?” Remus asks hesitantly, as if you would ever say no to him.
“It’s more than okay.” You whisper, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. You start to shift your body further onto the bed before Remus’s tight grip around your waist prevents you from doing so. Your eyebrows furrow with confusion before hearing Remus’s desperate voice.
“Don’t leave me, please…” Remus begs, clinging onto you.
I’m never going to leave you,” you reply and Remus nods continuously against your shoulder, his hair falling into his face and brushing yours, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Remus says, his voice shaky but calmer than before, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” He admits and your heart warms with his words.
You smile, pulling the both of you back onto his bed in a more comfortable position with his head still tucked into your shoulder, “And you’ll never have to know,” you whisper before you close your eyes and allow yourself to rest.
<3
masterlist . remus lupin masterlist . taglist
thank you for reading, my darling! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily! send requests to my inbox!
tags: @googie-jeon, @annoyingmidgetwhowrites, @jordie-gvf, @marauderswhxre, @vixparker, @moonsupremacy01, @enamoredwithbella
alwaysmoncheri © ─ all rights reserved. please do not repost/translate/copy any of my work.
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k2ntoss · 2 months
Note
i feel like I've been MIA for too long lmao but hooo boyyy i have so many thoughts now because of that prompt list omg 🫠 i NEED -Fucking someone so good that they struggle to kiss you back.- and “Spread your legs baby, that’s it…Wider.” with Jason immediately please Mara, the brain rot demands it 😭
-🦊
JUST LOOK AT THIS, MY FAVORITE ANON !!! (as if it wasn't clear before) have i told you already how i love the way your mind brings the brain rot to work??? well, i do. let's get at it, babe
fucking someone so good they struggle to kiss you back + "spread your legs baby, that's it... wider"
movie nights are for two things, actually watching your movie selection while cuddling with your partner or to completely ignore whatever was playing on the screen while your partner fucked the life out of you. you go guess what was jason's plan for tonight's movie plan.
you're actually trying to focus on the movie, your eyes fixed on the screen as you lay on jason's chest and he holds you softly, his chin resting on your shoulder as he leans in to leave a soft peck on your skin. it's innocent and sweet at first but then one of his hands slides under your shirt, caressing your skin and drawing abstract lines on your stomach that made your attention drift away when he pressed a kiss on your jaw.
"jay... are you even watching the mo–" you were speaking, trying to scold him but your words caught on your throat when his hand moved further up and cupped one of your breasts at the same time he licked your neck.
"i'm not watching the movie, baby" he whispers against your skin, his lips gracing your neck right before he kisses that spot behind your ear "i want to get touchy with my pretty girl."
"oh, so you want to get touchy?" you ask, there's now a hint of amusement and mischief on your voice as you turn your face to look at him and jason can't help but chuckle and nod, like a kid that's been caught red handed doing something he wasn't supposed to "and who said i wanted to let you, jaybird?" you ask but deep down you knew you would let jason get his way with you anytime he wanted to.
"you... you're not doing a thing to stop me from touching you like this" he says, his voice is low and his hands are now both on your chest, he squeezes your tits firmly before lifting your bra "it is because you know you're all mine to enjoy or because you want me to actually feel you up completely?"
the way he speaks and touches you manage to drag a soft moan out of your lips and it makes him feel powerful because he knows how to make you melt. that's what he wants, jason wants to be the one to always make you feel good, he wants the reason you smile and moan, the only one to know every corner of your body so he could give back all the good things you gave him.
jason really enjoys the way it's so easy for him to shut your mind off with the smallest touch when mixed with the right words, he loves whispering into your ear and kissing your neck just to see how needy you can get from it but it was just the effect jason's touch had on you and he couldn't deny you could do the same to him. so now when he gets your shirt lifted and squeezes your breast while kissing your neck he has to hold back a moan when you move and push him to be able and sit on his lap.
"sometimes you should try to pay attention to a movie, you know?" you ask teasingly, leaning in to kiss him again and jason misses no time to let his hands snake under your shirt again just to feel those goosebumps on your skin. it's unthinkable to try and stop to resume your initial plans because your boyfriend is now sucking a subtle trail of small marks on your neck while he starts pulling your shirt off and when he is done your bra stands no chance against him.
"the movie can wait, we can watch it after i make you scream and beg for more..." jason whispers into your ear and he smirks when you tug at the neck of his hoodie, he knows he won and he takes it off and that's when the last strand of control you had vanishes at the sight of his toned body, the faint scars scattered over his skin around that one on his chest that ran all the way down to his stomach it only made him way more appealing.
he really loves the effect he has on you, it makes him feel like he really deserves the way you look at him and how you touch him as if he was your most valuable treasure and he was, his touch equals yours; needy but still lingering enough to make sure you know how he values the fact that you are with him, his grip firm but loving as he holds your hips to make you grind against him once he takes off those comfy sweatpants you wore to bed and that he loved because of how the hugged your figure.
clothes do not last on your bodies and it isn't so much until your body is completely pressed against his while he makes you put your hips up, jason lets his hand wander between your thighs until he has two fingers sneaking over your folds, flicking your clit as he smiles smugly at you.
"do you still want to watch the movie, ma?" he asks, voice now deeper while his finger traces a trail between your folds, teasing your aching pussy before he slips his digits into your entrance. jason looks at you, the hunger in his eyes only adds to your arousal as you grind your hips against his palm, the calloused skin brushing against your swollen clit.
you grunt something that sounds like a shut up and a please mixed up in a hushed moan, as your boyfriend keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you while he kisses and bites your neck, the smirk on his lips doesn't leaves when you struggle to beg him from how much he teases because his free arm is around your back and his hand is now groping your breast.
"already so desperate? i just started, sweetie" he coos you mockingly as he slowly lays you down under him, lips trailing down your neck until he is now kissing and biting on your nipple "just look at the pretty mess you are, all wet around my fingers and you could just cum like this... should i let you get off like this?"
"god, jason– don't do that, i need you" you moan breathlessly and for some reason his words only get you more needy, making jason feel a huge ego boost as he gives you that pretty shit eating grin before he switches to your other breast, sucking and teasing you more as his fingers leave your pussy, entrance now clenching around nothing.
there's a feeling of relief once you can see jason moving to be between your legs as he trails his kisses to your tummy, lovingly and devoted and his hands squeeze your legs softly to try and help your body to calm a little to no overstimulate you just yet.
"spread your legs baby," he says softly, his lips brushing against your skin and the sweetness on his touch and words makes you comply without thinking twice, your legs spreading almost on its own for him "that's it... wider" he says now smugly, seeing the way you open up just at his presence makes him feel so powerful.
he holds onto the back of your knees, pushing your legs until he makes them rest over his shoulder. his hand guides his hard dick until his tip is lined up with your pussy and he pushes in, slowly as a low growl escapes his throat, holding onto your hips to give a first stroke.
"so fucking thight and i had already stretched your pretty cunt before" he says, his body still until you nod for him to start moving and he doesn't hesitates to start with a quick pace "that's such a pretty toy i got myself, didn't i? i just have to touch you and you'll let me have my way with you..."
he makes it sound so good you can't help but moan, one of your hands reaching for his neck to pull him from his nape; fingers tangling on his hair as you bring his face close to yours and jason only makes his thrusts faster, hiting all the right spots as he holds you bent like this.
"jay– jay please" you whine as you try to really bring his lips to yours, it amuses him and you hear it on his rumbling chuckle, his hands gripping your hips in a way you knew your skin would be painted in finger-print-bruises by tomorrow but you just loved that, silky skin painted with his hickeys and bite marks, a sing of that ownership he had over you.
"use your words, princess," he whispers into your ear, the sound of the dominance on his voice making you moan loudly when his hands also squeeze your ass playfully "you're a big girl, you can use that pretty mouth of yours can't you?"
"please, kiss me jay" you beg, voice shaky as he pounds into you and the way jason is closer now on top of your body, his shoulders still holding your legs up just making the angle perfect for his tip to kiss your cervix.
jason does as you ask, leaning in a pressing a bruissing kiss on your lips and he seems pretty resolved to devour your mouth like that but instead he's met with you really struggling to kiss him back and he is lost in this discovering. it encourages him to move your body as if you were a pretty doll for him to use, placing your legs against your chest but this time only over one of his shoulders.
"feels like too much, pretty doll?" he asks, whispering into your ear almost in a growl and he changes his pace, slowing down to give you deep and slow strokes but still slamming his hips against yours.
"too good, jay... feels just so good" your voice slurred as you cry for him to move a bit faster but jason has just found out how to play with you a little more.
"yeah? you sound way too pretty for me to change the pace, crying like a desperate slut" the use of names sends a shiver down your spine, jason knows what buttons to push in order to get your pleasure to skyrocket and he is really proud of it as he keeps pumping into you, hissing in pleasure when he feels your walls clenching around him "god this feels so fucking good, i could cum into you so deep baby, you'll feel me right here"
one of his hands wanders from your hips to your belly and the thought of him reaching so deep inside of your body is enough to make your body tense, there's something new to all of this because you've felt way more sensitive than before and jason is feeling way too eager to find out how much he can do with that.
"jason please, fill me up like this" you say in between shaky moans, legs trembling already and the way you look at him through those teary cute doe eyes makes him throb into you.
"want me to breed you, baby? i want to see you dripping full of me" he says, his pace fastening again but it grows sloppier as his hand moves from your belly to one of your tits, squeezing it and toying with your nipple "you look so pretty like this, angel, so ready for me to use your body over and over again"
it's amazing the way jason manages to shut your brain off, making your words catch on your throat and turning you into a whimpering mess. rocking your hips to meet his movements until your orgasm hits you, pussy squeezing him like a vice, almost making it impossible for jason to keep thrusting inside of you.
the pleasure of your body washes over him, bringing his own climax to his as he releases into your throbbing pussy as he slows down, letting out a low stream of curses before he comes to a halt still holding your legs against his chest.
"i don't think we'll be watching that movie now, ma..."
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