#I'm honestly just tired. like i don't want to hear about anyone's personal life at all even for the fun of it i want to be totally unaware

[bagdaddyb]

Self Centered

Summary: Wednesday realizes just how self-centered she has been. (reader has powers connected to nature)

Pairing: fem!Reader x Wednesday

Warning: slight angst

AN: Love the Wednesday character. Cold emotionless cutoff while also sadistic mean and cruel

"No Wednesday."

Those were the words you'd muttered to the girl before disappearing into the crowd. No. Wednesday was almost unsure how to process it. Since she'd came to this school of miscreants there hadn't been a single person not willing to bend to her will and since you'd started.... whatever it is you have with Wednesday you'd never turned away from any of her desires. So what changed? By the time Wednesday has recovered from the blatant rejection you're long gone and she's left to do nothing but return to Ophelia hall. She goes over the whole interaction again, taking note of your slumped shoulders and baggy eyes. You weren't yourself today, honestly if Wednesday truly thought about it you hadn't been yourself for some time. How long had it been since your demeanor changed? You don't smile at her anymore, you never seek her attention. When was the last time she'd spoken to you before today? She's been so caught up trying to investigate her stalker that she's completely neglected other parts of her life. Entering her shared room she's unsurprised and slightly disappointed to see Enid laying in her bed speaking with Thing.

"I just don't think this color suits your skin tone, the lighter green would go much better."

Thing taps and signs in response causing Enid to gasp.

"You take that back."

Upon hearing the door close the blonde's attention is grabbed eyes locking with black ones.

"Hey Weds, how's the investigation? Did (Y/N) agree to head into the forest with you tonight?"

"No."

The ravenette says as she neatly deposits her things on her side of the room moving towards her desk chair to start her writing hour.

"I'm not surprised."

Enid lets out in response gaze moving back to the display of nail polishes she put out for Thing to choose from. This catches Wednesday's attention, turning in her chair she burns Enid with her glare.

"Why is that?"

"Well she literally almost died during your last 'investigation' when she was stabbed and said "I'm never helping you again Wednesday Addams" while I stitched her up."

Before she continues Enid lets out a sigh muttering she's gonna kill me under her breath before continuing.

"And I'm going to tell you this because you're my best friend, (Y/N) has been unhappy for some time. You treat her more like your minion than partner. You drag her along on these dangerous stunts where she almost always gets hurt yet you never put forth any effort into the relationship, the last few things she's agreed to have been purely because thats the only way she gets to spend time with you. She is tired of it all being one sided so you need to get your act together unless you want to loose this relationship you pretend to not care about."

As Enid speaks its like a light bulb pops above Wednesday's head, recalling past encounters, conversations, and arguments she now finds herself feeling conflicted over. Standing abruptly Wednesday leaves her room, completely disregarding Enid and her writing hour. She needed to find you. It was never her intention to use you, or was it? She'd been approaching this like she would approach anything else but she now realizes that in and of itself is the problem. This isn't anything else. As much as she will deny it she cares for you in a way that is completely foreign to her. Arriving at your dorm room she knocks three times. Waiting only thirty seconds before knocking again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Wednesday bites back her snarky remarks when Bianca opens your shared dorm door. The siren does nothing to hide her disgusted face in turn.

"(Y/N) isn't here. She's always in the gardens during this time. Of course you'd know that if you cared about anyone other than yourself."

That is all the ravenette gets before the door is slammed in her face, Wednesday's eyebrows furrow as she turns on her heel. Just how self centered had she been? In her eight months of knowing you and five months of courting she'd learned little to nothing about you. Besides physical attributes and your general knowledge Wednesday never made an effort to get to know you better lazer focused on the hyde investigation then later her stalker you were always kept on the back burner. For the first time in her life guilt washes over her and it makes her bristle. Her feet move quickly towards the garden, entering she doesn't even have to look following your voice carrying through the flowers. Wednesday can't help the way her lips turn in disgust as she walks, the garden was to bright countless flowers planted aimlessly with no value yet she couldn't deny the health of the garden. Every flower in bloom properly watered and glowing. Coming around a corver she sees why observing you as you sang along the the music coming from your phone. You fingers were at work using your powers to meticulously grow different flowers and plants in healthy soil. You worked diligently so immersed in it that you fail to notice the brooding aura observing you. You fill the flower box you're working on with purple lillies a beautiful contrast to the blue bachelor buttons in the box next to it. Stepping back you observe your work humming in approval before turing to head to a different part of the garden. The moment you spin you freeze eyes meeting black ones you'd never once seen in the garden before. You are truly at a loss of words at the girls presence as she'd never once seeked your company and for a moment you consider pinching yourself. Surely this must be a dream.

"Wednesday? Ummmmm.... what are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize."

Okay now you were sure you were dreaming. You look around before pinching yourself.

"I must be living in the matrix."

You say before looking around again. Not sure if this is true reality. Silence envelopes both of you as Wednesday stares realizing she's never truly had to apologize. Especially not of her own volition. She's stumped on what to say or do but you don't wait long scoffing you begin to walk past the ravenette.

"If this is your way of apologizing spare me."

Wednesday stays quiet denying herself the mean and witty response knowing it wouldn't help her situation as she starts to form words in her brain she follows you past a dead section of the garden three planters tucked away in the middle of the garden that you don't even glance at as you continue foreward. Wednesday pauses for a moment taking in the uncared for section in contrast to the overly cared for garden before moving to quickly catch up with you.

"(Y/N) I apologize for my previous actions. As surprising as it may be I have not realized the fault until now. You are more than my pawn but I have failed to treat you as such. So I hope you can forgive me."

You merely hum in response not taking your eyes off the planter you stood infront of.

"Ok Wednesday."

You dig your figures in the soil trying to decide what would look best in the array of colors before you. Wednesday can tell her words have little affect and the fact that she may of already lost you causes her stomach to unsettle. Not easily detered she sticks around watching you mend the soil before speaking up again.

"That patch back there full of dead plants, why did you walk right past it? You seem very keen on keeping everything else in the garden grown and healthy."

You jump when she speaks honestly surprised that she was still there.

"Ummmm.."

You hesitate before releasing a sigh and turning to face Wednesday.

"It was a patch of flowers I grew for you when we first began our relationship. I grew them in the beginning as a gift symbolizing the start of our bond. I was going to show them to you the first time I invited you to the garden but as your rejections grew harsher and the light of what our relationship truly was shined brighter..... I stopped caring for the flowers. Now the bushes are barren and dead yet still as symbolic as ever."

You release another sad sigh eyes dropping to the ground before turning back towards the soil.

"If you don't mind Wednesday I'd like to be alone. I'm sure you have more important matters to attend to."

More important. The words Wednesday used everytime you've invited her to the garden. Everytime you've asked to spend time together in Jericho. Everytime you've tried to have conversation about anything other than her current obsession. Everytime you tried to engage her in a subject or activity revolving around you. She'd made you feel unimportant.

"No I don't."

Wednesday pauses a moment unhappy with how unstable her voice sounded.

"While I have failed to prove it in the past you are the most important thing in my life. I...... care for you deeply and I do not wish for our relationship to be forgetten, barren, and dead. This is all new to me..... these feelings, this bond.... but I won't allow myself to be held back by my lack of knowledge. So I will sit here all night if I have to. Today, tomorrow, and the next if that is what it takes for you to forgive me."

Your vision becomes cloudy as tears form in your eyes, the once grey sky becoming dark with clouds and as the first drop falls so does your first tear. This was all you ever wanted, effort. Tears fall as your heart pounds in your chest after finally being showed you meant something to the Addams girl and if that wasn't enough the feeling of a hand wrapping around your forarm was.

"I'm sorry mon cher."

Another apology things that were unknown from Wednesday Addams coupled with physical contact something you'd never experienced from the girl.

"I forgive you."

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x reader #wednsday addams #maybe the beginning of something more #bagdaddyb

[fallingdownhell]

May I request Yae Miko, Dehya, Cyno and Childe getting defensive/angry/protective (whatever you see fit) about someone saying they deserve better then their s/o because they aren't in the best physical shape? (Be that being fat, disabled ect.)

Honestly? It felt so self indulgent writing some of this, especially Dehya's part, so thank you for requesting it<3 Also, since I'm writing about some conditions I'm not affected with, please let me know if I missrepresent any of it, and I'll immediately change it! Characters Included: Cyno; Dehya; Childe Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship; various conditions on reader: being deaf/overweight/in a wheelchair; mean comments being made by others; characters defending reader; does that count as comfort??; not proofread yet Word count: 1,6k words Enjoy<3

Cyno

being deaf was never the handicap to you as others would probably see it

of course, it was difficult, learning to interact with the world and the people around you when you could not hear any of it, but rather than seeing it as a hindrance, you saw it as a challenge, one that you were determined to overcome

now, as an adult, things were going pretty well for you. Most the people you often interact with know about your condition, so they tend to be more patient when conversing with you

growing up, you began learning sign language to communicate with the people around you, as well as reading their lips. Over the years, you got more and more fluent in the language, so this was working out pretty well for you

Cyno, upon first meeting you, was fascinated by the way you percieve and interact with the world

despite the fact that you were not able to hear anything at all, you were the most lively person he's ever met, always smiling and laughing at everything and everyone around you, always seeing the good

after first meeting you, he immediately went and started to learn sign language as well. He had this desire to be close to you and spend more time with you, and he thought, in order to better communicate with you, he should learn how to talk to you

Now, a few years later, you've been in a relationship with Cyno for quite some time, and he could honestly say, that he's never been happier in his life

you brighten each of his days, simply by existing within his proximity, your smile was contagious and he often found himself just staring at you, never getting tired of your beauty

however, sometimes, there tend to be voices that question the relationship you have. Mostly people who didn't know you all that well, asking Cyno how he could even be with someone who could not hear a word he said

While he did pity those people, he always jumped to defend you. You may not be able to hear, but that didn't mean you were any less than anyone else in this world. In his eyes, it's just another thing about you that made you unique

It was always like this. Whenever anyone was talking bad about you, or telling Cyno that he should find a better partner, he always defended you, claiming that there would never be someone better than you

and if those idiotic people still don't get it by the lovestruck way he talks about you and continue to pester him, Cyno can get annoyed very quickly, not hesitating to draw his weapon on them

he wouldn't actually fight them, but the possibility of it being there scared them enough to run with their tails between their legs

but, at the end of the day, he never tells you about those encounters he has, not wanting to bring down your mood with it. He'd much rather enjoy the stories you have to tell him each day when he comes home to you

Dehya

when people were thinking about Dehya, they thought of a strong, independent woman, beautiful, smart and capable of many things. They respected her, and many wished to become the person by her side

when rumors came about of Dehya having a partner, people began to talk among themselves, guessing on who it could possibly be and what they would look like

No doubt would someone like her only settle for a partner just as good looking, smart and strong as herself, right?

well.. let's just say, the day you and Dehya became public with your relationship was a very... tough one

People knew you as being one of the most trusted merchants of Caravan Ribat. And while they all agreed on you being a very likeable and easygoing person, many of them also made fun of you behind your back, for the simple fact of you being overweight

a fact that you had always struggled with since your childhood. You've tried a many great ways to loose weight, yet either nothing worked or only had very short lived success

eventually, you gave up hope and stopped trying, instead learning to love and accept yourself for who you are

And exactly that love you held for yourself is what drew Dehya to you in the first place, eventually falling in love with all of you. Sometimes, you yourself couldn't believe that she actually loved you, questioning how you got so lucky. But not like you were complaining about it

Still, the glances and whispers people threw your way when you were walking through the streets, hand in hand with Dehya, often brought you down, knowing exactly what they were talking about

but anytime that happened, Dehya jumped right in, telling those people off, yelling at them to mind their own damn business. And it always worked as they hurried away, afraid of her wrath coming their way

whenever this happened, she'd always comfort you afterwards, knowing that, despite everything, words like that still hurt and weighed down on you. She'd then always tell you how much she loved you, how beautiful you were to her, pointing out everything she loved about you. It always helped to brighten your mood again

then one day, it just so happened that while you were out on a date with Dehya, someone decided to be bold and walk up to Dehya, finally speaking out loud what everyone was thinking

"Dehya.. why exactly are you with them?", he would ask, voice timid and quiet, yet he just had to ask

"You got a problem with my choice in parner, huh?", Dehya spoke up, ready to defend you against the entire world if she had to. She stood up from her place, standing in front of the guy as it almost seemed like she got ready for a fist fight

"N-no! I just meant... they don't.. exactly... suit you..", the guy tried to argue, but realised that with every word, he was just more and more digging his own grave

at this point, Dehya was fed up. She did not care for any onlookers as she beat up the guy. Once he was on the ground and apologizing profusely to her, she let go of him, instead addressing the crowd that had gathered around them

"Okay, everyone listen up because I'm not gonna repeat myself after this! They are my parnter, and I do not care what any of you think or have to say about it. It's my choice and you all better shut up about it, or I'll beat you up just like I did this punk!", she yelled and pointed at the guy still on the ground, blood running from his nose and mouth. Pretty sure she made him loose a teeth or two

surprisingly, after this encounter, people stopped commenting behind your back, your days becoming much calmer and more enjoyable since than. And even if you might not agree with Dehya's actions, you couldn't deny that it did have a positive outcome

Childe

most people would suspect that a person as active in their day to day life as Childe, would want a parnter that is at least similar to them in that way

yet, when they find out that his significant other is actually disabled and in a wheelchair, they can't hide the surprised sounds and expression on their faces

they can't possibly imagine how a relationship like that would last very long, seeing as the two of you would be polar opposites

oh boy, would they be surprised to find out that you and Childe have been going strong for several years now. Sure, you were not able to walk and sometimes, in specific situations, dependent on him, but those are also the moments Childe loved, when he got to show his strength when lifting you up or doing something else for you

at first, you felt stupid for having to rely on him in those specific situations, since you always strived to be as independent as possible, despite your situation. Yet Childe always comforted you, telling you that it wasn't a weakness at all to ask for help every now and then. On the contrary, knowing when you need help can be a great strength. So, that's how you decided to see things from then on, and it did help you a lot

and even though you were bound to this chair, that did not stop the enjoyment you held towards life. You loved traveling around, exploring the world and expieriencing it first hand

it helped a lot that Childe got to travel around a lot thanks to his work, so you'd always ask to accompany him. Of course, there were times where he couldn't do so, but most of the time, he was happy to take you along and show you all the places he knows about, and even discovering new ones with you

whenever he couldn't take you along on his travels, he'd always come back with a tone of souvenirs for you, along with so many stories to tell you that never failed to grab your attention, wishing that you could have been there with him

overall a very good, very protective boyfriend

the first few times he heard people talking about the two of you behind your backs, he went over to them, drawing his weapons, ready to kill whoever dared talk bad about you in his presence

word spread around quickly and soon, no one dared even mutter a word about your relationship, in fear that the Harbinger might catch wind of it and came hunting after them, ready to take their lives

Childe did not mind that reputation at all. He was already known as a battlehungry maniac, and if it meant people left you alone, not having to worry about ill intended comments, than all the better. He can handle it

the most important thing to him is, and always will be, your well being

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader headcanons #genshin impact x reader headcanons #cyno x reader #cyno x you #cyno headcanons #cyno x reader headcanons #dehya x reader #dehya x you #dehya headcanons #dehya x reader headcanons #childe x reader #childe x you #childe headcanons #childe x reader headcanons

[rifualk]

On Mental Health and Cosmic Embarrassment

I don't usually make a post in the aftermath of one of my spirals, so I bet most people see some of the vent posts I make, and assume I am just off my meds or something. I am on them but I might not be on the right ones. This is a thing that happens to me sometimes. I have psychotic episodes, where it feels like the things I am saying are completely inconsequential and I genuinely believe no one cares what I'm saying or, worst of all, that it cannot scare anyone that cares about me. I get too tired to fight my intrusive thoughts and I just ride them out. Most of my thoughts are not ones I enjoy having. I have trouble parsing what is real sometimes. For most of my life, out of a kind of primal shame and terror of being perceived or judged, I beat myself into believing that I just roleplayed as a crazy person online because I wanted attention for it, but it finally clicked for me at some point in my 20s that I was, and am, genuinely very mentally ill, maybe in ways that make me not-entirely-functional in the culture I inhabit. Also, I want attention for it.

Life is very embarrassing. I think embarrassment, shame, et al. is probably the most cosmic feeling of them all, because being embarrassed, for me anyway, leads invariably to my OCD extrapolating the embarrassment, no matter how slight, into its natural extreme, becoming a full-blown existential meltdown and often manifesting in some self-punishment. Or a lot of self-punishment. Instead of saying "everyone wants attention, it's not a big deal", my brain will overwhelm me with shame and make me vow to be quieter about the whole thing next time. Good emotions are meant to be expressed, I tell myself, and Bad ones are not. I think it's very unhealthy for people to not express their negative emotions openly. Or maybe I'm psychotic. I mean, I am psychotic. But maybe right now, too.

Ultimately this feeling peaks with the realization - again - that I'm a eukaryote. I live on a spinning ball of stardust in the aftermath of what had to have been a colossal disaster and waste of time. But it happened, and so now there's a bunch of stuff floating around, and some of that stuff started moving for reasons I don't personally understand and the implications of which scare me. And the moving stuff that moved faster got to stay moving longer. And so a chain reaction escalated, and eventually there were very large moving things whose survival adaptations had evolved in such a way that they could conceptualize and communicate complex information about the world around them, but they were also able to conceptualize themselves. This gave them a lot of grief. They wanted very badly for there to be an answer to why they were able to do that. Surely it served some purpose. But we never found one, and here we are.

I don't have a god to turn to. I have tried - earnestly, sincerely, and desperately - to reach out; I never hear back. I don't want to be an atheist, it's heartbreaking. Honestly. I want someone to be up there, or out there. Knowing there isn't, is just... cruel. It's horrifying and it wrenches my heart. Look at us, look how much we're suffering, where the fuck did you go, what the fuck is your problem? Help us!

In spite of everything, I am still not sure what I believe.

Don't you ever just cry about the world? Like, broadly? Don't you ever just have to take off your glasses and wipe the brine from them because you caught a glimpse of what people, as a species, could be capable of? And I get angry at myself, too. What am I doing about it? What even can I do? I can barely hold down a job. I am barely an adult. I am often mired in this feeling. It permeates everything. I'm living in a tragedy - not just my own, but millions and millions of others'. This is a nightmare. It's a nightmare and I'm an embarrassment, and my brain doesn't work right, and I'm living in a terrible reality that is shared by everyone, and yet somehow equally isolating and alienating to all of us. Does it have to be that way? Aren't we all lonely?

When I am spiraling I really do think that the end is near, either for me, or for everyone, or for both. To be fair, my confidence about humanity's future is not promising even when I am at my most sane. But in this kind of emotional place, the stakes are too high for me to care that what I say might come off as upsetting. It is completely overwhelming. I see my life up to this point, and I see how long I've been alive and realize I'm very Not Normal and I look and sound different than everyone around me and I'm an embarrassment. It's embarrassing to exist. It's embarrassing to be transgender, too. It's really, really embarrassing to be mentally ill and fully aware of it all the time. It's shameful. I am ashamed of how my family likely sees me. How my peers see me. I'm just a walking disaster. I feel like this bars me from leading a happy life or finding some success in art - It doesn't seem like you're allowed to be quite this much of a problem and "get away with it", does it? There's a bit of social sanitizing at work there - you are only allowed to be a certain level of messed up and if you pass that you're sort of a pariah. I don't think I've ever done anything pariah-worthy, but I can only see things from the inside of my own head, and there's a lot of unwanted noise in here.

I painted this when I lived in Oregon. I don't know how. I could not do art like this again if asked.

I'm not in a good place, generally-speaking. It could be worse - and it was for a long time- but it's still just not great. There are two reasons for this. One is that I'm very homesick. The other is that I found - and subsequently lost - my twin. But I only want to talk about the first reason right now - I grew attached to the Pacific Northwest in a way I've never really grown attached to any other place. It had a quality that exists nowhere else. It resonated with me immediately and I knew right away from the moment I first set foot there that it was my home. I grew to be a part of it, and it's the only place I felt I somewhat-belonged... I have been away from Oregon for 2 whole years as of next month. I feel like I'm a fish out of water, or a sapling in the wrong soil. I can't and won't say that the place I live currently is a bad place, but it isn't my place, and the disconnect has been maybe the nastiest shock to my system in all my life. Finding the place I loved, and living for over 12 years there, only to be wrenched away from it so suddenly, left a shock on me that I think has yet to surface in my work. I'm excited to see what form it takes when it does. Location is very important to my mental wellbeing, more than I think it is for most people. Maybe I am a plant. It's also very important for my art. I've struggled to find inspiration since I moved here. That said, I've had the very precious opportunity to just work on myself - on my transition, as well as my personal issues. I think I'm getting better, gradually, in some way. I have a job now, at least. So it's not entirely bad. I even grew sunflowers last summer.

Around this time I got banned from twitter, but I don't feel any shame about the reason why because I believe in my message. But it forced me to be a lot less active online for a long time. It also made me lose a lot of support. That's been something I've grappled with a lot these last 2 years - that people really don't like people like me, for reasons that are mostly not our fault. I will likely always be something of an outsider for being who I am now, but I was one before anyway. It's still worth it. I like the person I'm becoming. I feel like only recently did I allow myself to feel this self-love. I was too embarrassed of myself. It took a lot of patience and a lot of de-tangling my self-worth from a lot of trauma. So it's likely I would have needed to go through all of this regardless of where I was.

I still slip up. It's an uphill climb and it's slippery. I like to be transparent about these things. It's a relief - feeling like I need to hide things is my default state and it's lovely to just let go of stuff so I don't need to keep it in my head all the time. I have a lot of hangups still. I get discouraged about my art still - I fear I'll never build myself back up to where I was before, and that there will never be a time when I can really pay the bills with it. Or worse-still, that it just isn't special enough to last. That it isn't remarkable enough to survive after I'm gone. But I think a lot of people who make stuff feel that way, and it's not our fault. There's some relief in that. I'm happy to have even a few people that care about me and my work, and something I've been trying really hard to remember in recent years is to take time to appreciate them. I'm not actually alone. I have a lot of people that love me. I'm not an outsider. I'm very lucky to know the people I do, and I hold a deep regret for all the connections I've let go of because I was just too sick. Deep down I really do wish I could love everyone. I have no ill will towards anyone, not really.

I still don't know what I'm doing. I am just doing my best, I think. I'm really, really tired. I don't want to get any older. I'm scared of the passage of time. My memory is so bad, it feels like time is taken from me without me realizing. I am 33 years old. I do not have 33 years worth of memories. There are huge leaps. Gaps where suddenly I was just older and in more pain. Being adrift in time like this is horrific - one day I will blink, and the present moment may be completely forgotten. It can't go this fast. It just can't. Something has to be wrong. I don't want to die, I don't want to miss out on so much life or be unable to remember it. I don't want to find myself on my deathbed someday way sooner than I think and be unable to string together any kind of coherent thread from my memories. What is it all for? It has to mean something right? Why am I doing anything?

I think I finally understand that love is why. I don't know much more than that. Love is real, and it's the answer. If you find love, don't take it for granted, ever. No love is perfect. Take it with all its flaws. You don't have time to bargain with it. Love like you'll never love again, love like it's your last day alive, love like it will keep you alive forever, because it will. Every year closer to death you get, you will feel the regret of all the times you did not follow your heart. Life is short. I'm finding this out entirely too late. It goes by so fast, and what you have at the end are people and memories of being loved. To be loved is to live forever. It's the thing that connects us to everything else. It's the source and the answer to everything. It makes more sense the older I get. It used to sound cheesy, but I believe it with more sincerity every day.

I kept my last promise to you - there are no new scars on my arms, or bruises on my head or face.

#mental health posting #is there a better tag for that

[bunni-v1]

hii, congrats on 500 followers! if it’s okay, i’d like to request idia, trey and leona with D, J, K, M, and T for the NSFW alphabet ^^

🍓AGH I FORGOT YOU LAST NIGHT! I'm so sorry, I was so tired I didn't even notice you among the full list of requests. Please find it in your heart to forgive me!

TW: Idia is REALLY fucking weird; Incest mention (NOT between Ortho and Idia); Idia being a creep; Idia's kinks; Idia

Idia

D - Dirty Secret: Idia is known to watch the cameras at NRC. What people don't know is those cameras are EVERYWHERE (minus the dorm rooms and bathrooms). He sees the students "sneaking around" in broom closets and darkly lit hallways. He hears the muffled whines and moans of "exhibitionists" trying not to get caught. Little do they know they've had his eyes on them the whole time and he's enjoying himself right along with them. It's even better if you're involved (in the case that you're not together, though he's not against cuckolding completely). Seeing his crush be dominated (or do the DOMINATING) by someone else gets him all hot and bothered.

J - Jack Off: He is in a sexual relationship with his right hand. He jacks off all the fucking time -- at least thrice daily. It's always to the worst shit imaginable too, like fucked up incest hentai, anime girls that are HARDLY legal, the shit you'd imagine a shut-in to be into. He's embarrassed by it, 'cause the shit he does is so gross. He'd find it hot if you wanted to watch him though. He'd be all whiny and shy about it, but it's honestly the sexiest thing he's ever done.

K - Kink: The better question is what kink does he NOT have? Roleplay, marking, hardcore bdsm, cuckolding, blah blah blah. You name it, he's considered it and gotten off to it at least once. However, his favorite thing? Soft mushy sex. The kind where you hold his hand and tell him how good he's doing, how well he gets you off, how big his dick is, how pretty he is when he cries. Ugh, that's the shit for him.

M - Motivation: Brushing his hand with yours is enough to make him pop a boner. You can't blame him though, he's never felt the touch of another person who isn't his literal family.

T - Toys: Yeah of course he uses toys. He has a collection (that he HIDES like it's the nuclear codes or something) that he uses on himself when he feels like it. If you wanted to use them on him he wouldn't be opposed... if you want him to use them on you, well, that's even better.

Trey

D - Dirty Secret: Believe me or not, Trey is a fucking perv. He's REALLY ashamed of it because he's Heartslabyul's resident good-boy big brother. He's a role model for most of his dorm mates, so him creeping on the other guys in the locker room isn't something he wants to get out. Oh yeah, he's a panty sniffer lol.

J - Jack Off: Despite being a perv, he doesn't feel a need to get off all that often. Back at home, he doesn't have the time or privacy to. So he just learned to deal with a raging boner. However, when he does, which is rare, he prefers the fantasy of you under the table sucking him off during class over anything porn can offer.

K - Kink: Trey isn't all that kinky, other than the whole panty-sniffing thing. He likes things simple and easy, but he enjoys a power-dynamic kind of situation a lot. Never tell anyone this, but if you wanna play step-siblings with him, it's probably the hardest he ever cums in his life.

M - Motivation: Giving him personal attention over anyone else is a surefire way to get him up and going. Especially when other people want your attention, and you just hard focus on him. Sevens, he loves that, fuels a very rare possessive side of him that he doesn't let out often.

T - Toys: Nah, Trey's a pretty "I'm gonna do it myself" kinda guy. If a toy can give you more pleasure than he can, he's not really doing his jobe right, is he?

Leona

D - Dirty Secret: He wants to be DOMINATED. Put him in his PLACE, call him a good kitty, make him grovel, and beg for you to let him cum. It's his ultimate fantasy, and he wouldn't EVER admit it to anyone -- especially not you. He can't let you know you could have that power over him. (He's a hard dom until he's not, lol).

J - Jack Off: A lot of people say that Leona doesn't jack off but like...? Are we talking about the same character? There is NO WAY he doesn't just lay in bed and stroke it on a really lazy day. Like, yeah he doesn't particularly enjoy it, he'd rather have you, but you have to do what you have to do to get off.

K - Kink: Leona, surprisingly, isn't into anything too humiliating for his partner. I mean, he's got a humiliation kink that goes both ways -- but that's completely verbal degradation stuff. He's a choker, but he'd never slap you. He's pretty much into everything you'd expect a hard dom to be into, but he'd never physically hurt you. It's against his moral code.

M - Motivation: It's hard to get him motivated if he's not into something. So really, there's nothing that gets him motivated, he either wants to fuck you or he doesn't and nothing's changing his mind. Even that pretty silk set he bought you. He's tired now, come take a nap with him. (If you're insistent, he'll eat you out or smth, but don't expect much more than his mouth and hands.)

T - Toys: Leona, like Trey, is very much an "I can do it myself, we don't need toys" guy. And, he's right, he can. He honestly finds toys insulting to his ability and refuses ANYTHING like that ANYWHERE near him or you.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #x reader #bunni's treats 🧁 #leona kingscholar x reader #trey clover x reader #idia shroud x reader

[aerkame]

Hi, I hope you're having a wonderful day!!!! How would Wally and the others in your Alive AU react if Reader had a coworker or friend that was romantically interested in them? Would they just get really clingy or even aggressive, especially considering they're confined inside the house?

I am! I went skating for a long while outside and got a Starscream model kit to put together later. :) (Short fic takes place in the Alive AU)

Jealous! Everyone x reader

__________________________________________________________

It started with flowers. One day out of the blue you had came home with a huge bouquet of beautiful roses. Julie was the first to ask where you got them, they were just so pretty! You told them it was from a coworker at the public library, he was really polite and gave you these roses as a gift...you were blind to say the least, not seeing it as a romantic gesture. But the romantic gift did not go unnoticed by your colorful guests.

Poppy told you she was already preparing dinner for tonight which was a relief honestly, you felt exhausted. Two pairs of arms pulled you close for a hug, recognizing them as Julie and Sally, the two hyper sunshines of your life. "Hey there host, we reeeeaaallly wanna show you something!" Julie was practically jumping with joy while Sally let go to grab something, coming back with a stereo to play music on. The two put on a dance that almost resulted in a vase being broken, but Barnaby's soft paws were there to catch it just in time.

"How about we all dance together?" Barnaby gave you a warm smile, he always knew how to warm your heart. Holding out his paw you took hold of it, joining in the dance with the three goofballs.

During dinner, Poppy came up to you with a delicious looking small cake and placed it right in front of you. "I made you some dessert deary, eat up!" You looked down confused "But what about the others?" However, when you looked back at the table everyone had already gone to do their own activities (or so you assumed) and Poppy just sat there smiling. Soon after that awkward dinner Eddie cornered you in the hallway one arm leaning on the wall and the other holding a neatly folded letter with red hearts all over it. "Here you are sweets, Frank and I wrote this just for you." You firmly grasped the paper and unfolded it. It was a beautifully written poem about you. "Wow, thank you Eddie I don't know what to say, this is very well written! I love it." Eddie gave you a small kiss on the head like he always did and the tip of a hat before walking downstairs whistling a small tune.

Later that night Howdy came by the bathroom as soon as you got out of the shower to gift you with the shiniest apple you've ever laid eyes on. You questioned where he got it from but Howdy only responded with "It's a secret! Just know that it's 100% off for you!" You couldn't say no to that goofy grin of his, plus he was just so happy to give it to you! You took it from him with a warm smile on your face... Also because his giant body was blocking you from leaving.

Once you finally managed to get by the giant caterpillar with your new gift you went to your room to settle down and sleep, rolling around a bit in the sheets until you got comfortable enough and closed your tired eyes.

Not even a minute after closing your eyes you felt the bed dip beside yourself and a long arm snaked over your torso. Only one person you know does that. "Wally, what are you doing?"

"I'm just cuddling my dearest host to sleep is all.~" You peeked open an eye after hearing that. He always did this when he wanted something out of it. "What do you want?"

"Nothing at all! You're the most I could ever ask for...buuut since you brought it up, you might as well do me a teeny tiny favor." You rolled in bed, turning yourself towards his chest, you were too cozy to care about the intimacy. "Hmh?" You hummed in acknowledgment.

"Stop talking to Derrek."

You sat up immediately. Not once did you tell anyone who it was that you've been talking to. "How did you-" a finger shushed you. "I know about him, and I want you to stay away. Can you do that for me darling?" He smiled coyly, but really it felt like he was threatening you. "No...Wally I can't just ghost someone like that. Besides we're just friends." The arm around you tightened as you squirmed to get out of your own bed. "Oh I know, but I would really love it if you two would quit talking. I don't think he's right for you."

Your eyes narrowed at him, for once the cocky bastard didn't look so cocky. "Wally...are you jealous? Is that what all of this is about? The gifts, the dancing, the constant cuddle sessions from you and everyone else here?" You watched his body go rigid and his face scrunch up into what was almost a frown. Wow, he's actually kind of frowning for once. That was rare.

"Wally, we're not a thing. Derrek and I are just friends and I don't intend to ever date him. I'm glad you and the others really care about me this much but you really shouldn't worry about my safety." You spoke more softly, finally understanding where he was coming from. The iron grip on your waist didn't falter though and you felt yourself suddenly being forced into a bear hug.

Julie swatted Barnaby's long tie out of her face so she could lean in closer to the door to listen. Everyone else did their best not to make any noise as they listened in.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better I'll just tell him we're nothing more than friends and to keep it at that, but I can't just cut people out of my life like that...alright?"

An audible groan left everyone's mouth hearing that, startling you and Wally both. Silly host, how can you be so blind to love?

Looks like the dear reader doesn't understand just how much everyone loves them yet! Personally I don't think any of them would be the type to hurt you or others EXCEPT for Wally. I think they would probably just try to shower you with their love to make you like them more...however, if you are straying too far from them they may need to find a way to make you a permanent resident at the house, just not at your house. They've got a nice place just for you back Home.

#Welcome home arg #welcome home #welcome home x reader #everyone x reader #wh #welcome home fanfiction #requests open #welcome home wally darling #welcome home sally #welcome home julie joyful #welcome home barnaby #welcome home wally darling x reader #welcome home barnaby x reader #welcome home frank x reader #welcome home eddie x reader #welcome home sally x reader #welcome home julie x reader #welcome home poppy x reader #welcome home howdy x reader #Alive au #au #welcome home au #welcome home alive au

[jester089]

High on life, and coffee

Been thinking about this for a while so I'm gonna write it. This one needs a bit of set up though. I've been thinking a reader who is really really fast. Like fast enough to just run on walls or ceilings when way to energetic. Kind of like a super powered slightly more mature kid. TADC Crew x Hyper, Fast, & Optimistic Reader

You were overwhelming to everyone. You always having a seemingly limitless amount of energy and just overall happiness for everyone and thing around you. Because of how you act everyone sees you as childish. But that honestly isn't true. You've been here longer then Kinger but you are strangely ok mentally. I mean the circus is tiring and childish but have you ever thought about if a child found it? I mean people in the circus don't age so someone who's energetic and not mature would be perfect. You aren't really immature though. Just a lot. You remind everyone of a cat with how you get zoomies and just sprint around till you tire yourself out.

Caine quite likes how you are. You don't complain and happily go on adventures. And he can be wild around you without worrying about freaking you out because you always match if not exceed his energy. One time he gave you a incredibly strong energy drink because Jax said you asked for it. That was an awful day for everyone involved. The day ended with thousands of dollars in damages and not a soul you included getting out unharmed. ~~~~~ You were sitting in your room physically shaking. You want to get up and do something but Caine said he has something to show you. So you're doing you best to be patient. Caine pops into existence next to you. You quickly stand up exited to hear what he has to say. "Hello my speedy friend! I have some amazing news! I'm expanding your room and adding a hamster wheel so you can run as long as you like without breaking things!" He snaps and one of your walls extends more then doubling your room size. And just as he said their is a giant hamster wheel. You get in to try it out. After running for a bit you get out thank and hug him. "Oh it's no trouble! I'm glad you enjoy it!" Caine disappears and you get back to running. It feels nice being able to go as fast as you want. I give the hamster wheel a day before it's broken.

Gangle is a tough one. She likes how energetic you are and feels more ok being herself when you're around. But you are also a lot and she can't always handle that. Despite you regularly moving at the speed of sound you never mess with her or break her masks. So she's grow to enjoy having you around. Do be careful though cause if you sprint by her just the speed in which you were going will knock her over. She doesn't have the body mass to be able to deal with normal wind non the less your shockwave things. ~~~~~ You sprint into a room looking for someone to talk to. You see Gangle and run over to her feeling bad when she falls over. Once she's back up you start talking at her, no matter how hard she tries she doesn't get a word in before your on a new topic. Eventually with Pomni's help you calm down ever so slightly and start having a genuine conversation with the two. That of course doesn't last long. You get maybe a minute into the conversation before you sprint off again. Gangle who was mid sentence stares at the door you just zoomed through. It's not like this is the first time you've done that. It's still surprising though.

Zooble is consistently annoyed by you. You have so much energy, talk faster then anyone can understand, and are constantly talking. She can't even avoid you as you can easily do a lap of the entire circus if you feel like it. You're just so loud and forget that personal space exists. So she doesn't like you. But she's kind of forced to get used to you as you're consistently everywhere at once. On the plus side you can find anything in a matter of seconds so she goes to you if she needs something. You can also get to places everyone else can't so if she wants alone time she'll ask you to put her really up high or something so no one but you can bother her. ~~~~~ Zooble is wandering around looking for you. She calls you name out every now and again. You two set up this awesome roof fort that only you are able to get into and she wants some time away from everyone. She call out one more time jumping when you come crashing through a wall at like 300mph. You skid across the ground face first coming to a stop right in front of her. She gets a little worried when you don't move but you soon hop up and dust yourself off asking what she needs. "I want in the roof fo-" She doesn't even get to finish her sentence before you pick her up, hold her above your head, and sprint off. She has to bundle up a bit to not lose any of her pieces just from the sheer speed you're moving.

Kinger going to have a heart attack every time you wiz by just saying. You never calm down and never stop, so he can't do much. He's intelligent and calm. Thinking things through and much preferring to just be comfy. You are the dead opposite never slowing down and acting exclusively on instincts and impulse. You honestly freak him out when you appear cause chaos in a room then zoom out leaving whoever is there to clean up. If any one Kinger would be the one to get you to calm down. If he manages that he's really surprised by how smart and mature you are. You have more energy then you know what to do with but you aren't stupid. From then he appreciates you a lot more. And he keeps stocked up on calming things like music or tea to help you out. ~~~~~ Kinger is laying in his fort thinking about his life and past life when he hears some incredibly rapid knocking on the door. He knowing who it is sets up a crash pad with his extra pillows and blankets then opens the door not surprised when you basically fly in crashing in the crash pad at unreasonable speeds. "Hey Kinger! Can I tell you something cool?! Can I, can I, can I!?!" Kinger smiles at you and nods while getting comfortable again. "I learned a new trick! Watch!" You pull a broom out of seemingly no where and balance it on your palm. You only keep it up for 10 seconds before it falls straight in your face. "Did'ja see?!" "I saw. Is that all you wanted to show me?" You nod and run up to the door. You throw it open and sprint out. Kinger is about to stand up to close it before you pop your head back in say bye and close the door behind you.

Ragatha would be the only real one who starts out trying to be around you. You're a lot, a lot more then she can keep up with. But she isn't just going to leave you alone because of that. It takes her a while to be able to make out what your saying but once she does it feels more like a friendship rather then her worrying about you. She wont admit it but she secretly goes to you asking for piggyback rides. The wind in her hair makes her remember the real world in a way that doesn't make her feel worse. She will unironically try to ground you when you break things. She never follows through though cause she knows you aren't trying to break things. You just move way to fast for even you to handle. ~~~~~ "Y/N GET DOWN HERE! YOU'RE 500 FEET OFF THE GROUND YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT!" You, who is sitting up on the highest ledge in the circus glare down at her. "What if I don't want to. What then? Also you don't have any say over me I'm my own person." She is going to yell at you again before you slip, fall, and land exclusively on your face. She rushes over and helps you up. Surprisingly you're completely fine. "See I told'ja. I run into things at much faster speeds then that. I'm durable. Not I'm going to go annoy Caine for something sweet because I want something sweet. BYE!" You leave her in that room. She just stares in the direction you ran slightly surprised, and slightly annoyed. You have zero self preservation and you wont listen to her. It worries her. But she can't argue with the fact you're durable. I mean you're the only person she knows who could fall from that height and still move. None the less talk, walk, and run. After she snaps out of it she gets up to follow you knowing full well you've probably already gotten yourself into trouble again.

Jax after trying and failing to so much as touch you stops trying to "prank" you and switches to trying to get you to help him. He never tells you what you're helping with but he's gotten you to listen anyways. Until you inevitably find out what you're helping with his "pranks" get much more elaborate and hard to avoid. I pray for the poor sucker who walks into them. Cause trust me their going to be cruel. ~~~~~

"Little to the left. No to far. Yeah right there. This is gonna be perfect." "Nice! So... Why exactly did I set up this giant hammer?" "Oh uhh... Caine made this giant piggy bank that we have to destroy to win todays adventure. You want to win the adventure don't you?" "Of course I do! Do we need anything else?" "Yeah could you get some more rope." You give him a thumbs up and run out. Jax turns back to the door trap you set up without even knowing it. He sees Kinger start walking in and gets a huge smile. He pushes a little button and the giant hammer falls and hit Kinger straight in the face knocking him out and rearranging his entire face and head. Jax starts laughing hard as you come back in with the requested rope. You drop it and freak out when you see Kinger running over to him wanting to help.

Pomni is already jumpy without someone sprinting around at mach 2. Despite how often you scare her you apologizing and offering help is something she likes. Sadly with you there her hopes of finding an exit were quickly crushed. You picked her up and sprinted around the entire circus showing her every inch. And just as everyone says their wasn't an exit. She gets really depressed after that. She's less jumpy and more mopey. She thanks you for your help and wanders off towards her room leaving you alone to feel bad. ~~~~~ "It's just... Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to help..." "No you didn't do anything wrong. She just believed so hard that there was an exit. And by helping her you proved that their isn't." Your frown only deepens at that. You weren't trying to make her lose hope... Maybe you could do something nice for her. You and Kinger have been working on something for Pomni with some help from Ragatha. Once it's finished you thank him for the help and run off to her room. Once you get there you knock... Nothing. You ring the doorbell... Also nothing. You swear you hear something glitchy but only for a moment. Worrying. So you leave the gift in front of her door with a little hand written apology note. (Another story done. Sorry to all my requestors I've just been writing more casually and for what I want to write recently.)

xoxo, Jester

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #caine x reader #gangle x reader #zooble x reader #kinger x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #pomni x reader #noob author #not beta'd

[bluepeachstudios]

Oo rank the splinters from worst to best dad! I have my own personal ranking but i wanna hear yours

SPLINTER BEST DAD: Worst to Best

Last Ronin Splinter: Raised children to fight in a family blood feud! Didn't let them stop even when they claimed to be tired of fighting and killing! Got one of his sons killed by refusing to retreat! Horrible person and father!

Mirage Splinter: Raised the turtles to kill a man that HE had the beef with because Shredder killed HIS master, but he couldn't do it on his own so he just!!! RAISED CHILDREN AS SOLDIERS INSTEAD???? He's mostly "sensei" instead of "dad".

IDW Splinter: OOuuhhohoho. I could get into it. I won't. I get why he did some of the things he did. Plus he never really raised kids, they just kinda. Mutated into teengers. Bad dad though like jesus. Made more trouble for his kids than he helped.

Bayverse Splinter: He's just.... there.... he taught them how to fight... his guidance is kinda blah and he's pretty harsh with his punishments. You don't see him have any really soft moments with the kids, but he's not really a horrible dad, he's just... meh. Mid. I blame this on the bad writing of the movies.

1987 Splinter: He's a great caretaker, honestly. But he's more a sensei than a dad. He acts more like their teacher, he calls them "my friends" or "my pupils" and "my turtles" which is v cute. They definitely see him as their dad/master. He's very good to them, so he gets extra points. <3

2012 Splinter: OKAY I KNOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE MAD ABOUT THIS ONE. But he ALMOST NEVER fights beside them. You never see him doing anything fun with the kids. I'm sure he has! But like you never see it in the show, he tends to keep a distance. He keeps them safe from the blood fued, doesn't want them getting involved with Shredder. He does push them to save the world and does the whole "sacrifice anything or anyone to complete the mission" to Leo, a 15 year old boy, and then just sits at home???? Until April has to convince him to help?? AND HE DOESN'T HELP HIS SONS HE HELPS APRIL AND I'M??? Anyway that always bothered me. I love him as a character.

Rise Splinter: Here's our boy! He's shown with photos that he participated in fun activities with the kids when they were little. Not in the best way, obviously, but like!! He helped them make a lemonade stand!! Which is such a human child thing to do. He wanted them to have a normal life! He refused to train them for a long time with anything but movies because he didn't want them to have to fight. He's depressed as hell and yeah he's selfish at times but he has character growth through the series and turns into an honestly great dad by the end of it. I wish they'd had more time to show that growth and the aftermath of it.

1990 Splinter: THE LIVE ACTION DAD EVER. (I'm electing to ignore The Next Mutation. he's not even a dad. he's their sensei. anyway fuck next mutatio-) He's so gentle with them. He loves them so much. Calls them his sons all the time. Protects them despite being captured and interrogated and presumably tortured for information. HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH.

2003 Splinter: The Best Dad. He's a rat dad. He's not carrying a whole lot of human baggage. He lost his family once and he knows how to make one now. He takes care of his boys, he scolds them for going out, and when he realizes they're going to keep going topside and he can't stop them, he makes them do it safely. He is with them for ALL of their big fights. He EXCLUSIVELY calls them "my sons" constantly. He loves them so much oh my god. Would die for them in a heartbeat. Never wanted them involved with the Foot, tried DESPERATELY to keep them safe from it, and when he realized they were involved, he explained everything to them. He hugs them every time they get separated, he handles Leo's Depression Arc(tm) as well as he can. He never gets mad at Leo for hurting him. He just realizes that he can't help his son and must send him to someone else. And that's so hard to do.

So anyway 2k3 Splinter is best rat dad. Rats were made to be dads imo.

#asks

[linawritestwst]

rollo x reader who's scared of magic headcanons (gn!reader)

so. here i am, writing this HJSJDJDSJ. but i actually wanted to write something with rollo for a long time and i thought that i can wait until this event ends.. but i'm too impatient, haha. also yeah, if you haven't read the event story yet, these headcanons are full of spoilers!

okay, so i probably should explain this concept. you see, i know that this fandom usually depicts mc as someone who is 100% against rollo's actions and wants to protect their friends AND THAT'S COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE, but one day i sat there and was like.. "but what if mc wasn't like that". what if mc was so tired of everything and they were so traumatized because of everything that happened that they became scared of magic? what if they even hate it now? you can imagine the reader being someone who loved magic and was interested in it, but eventually became terrified of it because of their trauma or you can imagine them being someone who found this world too scary from the start. also, they don't like nrc students that much (but they don't want to admit it) and pretty much get a corruption arc, so if you don't want to read something like that.. you should probably skip this one.

if you want to read something similar (but more.. uh, comforting), but with other characters, feel free to check out my riddle, leona, azul and jamil x reader who's traumatized from overblots headcanons!

warnings: a mention of a panic/anxiety attack, a possibly unhealthy relationship dynamic, mc's behavior is also very similar to ptsd.

♡ you know that so many people would go "i wish it were me" if you told them about everything that happened with you in this world called twisted wonderland. come on, you have a cute cat sidekick (who acts more like a gremlin), you get to see so many pretty boys every day and this world also has magic! why wouldn't you want to stay here? sure, you miss your family and friends, but also you have to agree that this world is more fun than the one you came from. you agree, right, y/n?.. you wish you could say that you do, but you're not so sure anymore. living in twisted wonderland sounds fun, it really does, but you never felt so stressed and anxious in your entire life. you wanted to help these boys, you wanted to understand them, but you didn't want to become their therapist. you have your own problems, you just want to go back home already, you miss your loved ones! and as you kept trying to help everyone and you saw just how dangerous their magic can be.. you started to get more and more scared of it.

♡ you don't want to go to nbc at all at first. you don't find it as exciting as others do and you agree only because crowley told you that you might find out how to go back to your world there. and you knew well that crowley is most likely lying to you again, but.. what's the point in refusing to go? if you agree to visit the city of flowers, you won't find any hints there, but if you stay here, you also won't find any hints. you're tired of your dorm and this school in general, so maybe going to a new place will make you feel better. also you just want to get a break from seeing crowley's face every day and you sure hope that you won't find another student to take care of there.

♡ when you meet rollo for the first time, he feels like someone who's completely different from nrc students. sure, you can definitely feel that there's something.. off about him at first, but he seems like such a polite and caring person that you stop thinking about it at some point. but rollo officially gains your trust when he says that it must be tiring for you to be surrounded by magic users all the time. you don't think anyone from nrc has ever said such a thing to you, you know that they care about you, but most of the time it felt like you were just being used and people rarely asked you about your own feelings. honestly, you feel like you're about to cry when you hear those words from him but you try to stay calm. it's probably not a good idea to tell him about everything that you had to go through, you literally just met him! and why did he just say that he wants you to forget about your problems while you're here? this.. this doesn't feel right. why is he so nice to you?

♡ you notice that even though rollo is mostly nice to everyone here, he definitely treats you better than other students. you don't know the reason, but you're not sure that you even want to know it. yes, you've been manipulated quite a lot of times in the past, but.. you don't really have any energy to try and "see right through him". even if he just wants to use you, for some reason you just can't bring yourself to care. it's probably because you find people being genuinely nice to you more surprising than people manipulating you. so for now.. you want to believe that he really is just that kind. you have some very nice and interesting conversations with him and you find yourself enjoying spending time with him like this. you don't even want to go back to nrc students, haha.. it was a joke, but for some reason your anxiety comes back when you see their faces again. hm? what did rollo say just now? it sounded a bit like "those magic users.." but why did he say it in such an angry tone?

♡ you really want to have fun at the festival, but you just.. can't. you feel too tired, everyone is so loud and noisy and you can't focus on anything. you want to dance with everyone as well, but for some reason, when you see them having fun together.. you remember all the overblots, you remember all the times you had to do crowley's job, you remember all the tragic backstories that you had to listen to. but before you can stop thinking about all that and join them even though you can't even stand properly.. the fireworks start. you know that malleus just wants to make the townspeople happy and you agree that they deserve to have the best festival ever, but also, everything is even more loud now because everyone decides to join malleus. they even manage to turn this into a competition. haha, nrc students never change, do they? you wish you could laugh about it, but for some reason you can't even smile right now. what is wrong with you? why are you feeling like this? shouldn't you find these fireworks as beautiful as everyone does? these boys are trying so hard, you should compliment them for their efforts! grim and malleus especially want to hear compliments from you, considering that they're the ones who started it, but you can't say anything nice to them right now.

♡ for some reason, it gets harder for you to breathe and your head starts spinning. it's probably because the noise is too overwhelming for you, you could try and go somewhere more quiet but you can't just leave them here! but why.. why is everything so scary right now? you're so mad at yourself for not feeling as happy as everyone else, but after everything that you had seen, it's impossible for you to see magic as something good. you can't focus on anything else right now and your mind is screaming at you, begging you to run away and hide somewhere, but you still sit there and watch everyone. but you didn't know that somebody else has been watching you all this time too.

♡ you find it strange that the only thing that you can hear clearly right now is rollo telling malleus that if he and other students are so powerful, then they should use their magic more carefully. you feel so shocked, you didn't expect someone like him to say such a thing. it would be normal for someone like trein to say it, he's your professor, of course he would be worried and he would tell everyone to be more careful with their magic. and you already had a feeling that rollo is a very responsible person so you weren't surprised when you noticed that he doesn't really like the fireworks, but for him to say something like this.. you can't help but agree with him.

♡ after he's done talking to malleus, he wants to make sure that you're okay and when he looks at you, it becomes obvious to him that you're not okay at all. he sincerely apologizes to you for letting something like this happen and says that he should have noticed that you're not doing so well. rollo helps you find a little more calm and quiet place even though that's pretty hard to do right now because of the festival, but to be honest, you feel more safe already because of him. while you're trying to calm down and you're starting to breathe normally, rollo suddenly asks you, don't you think that magic is too dangerous and people can't just use it as carelessly as those students did? you can easily hurt someone with it and not all magic users can control it, some of them don't even try, they don't care what happens to other people. maybe this world would be better without magic users.. no, it would totally be better without them.

♡ he wants to hear your answer and you don't know what to say. no, actually, you do know what you want to say, but you're not strong enough to do it. saying those words would feel like betraying everyone else, yes, you're terrified of magic, but you don't want all of your friends to disappear! "friends".. you don't know if you actually would call them friends if those magicians weren't your only company in this world. you try to say that magic is not that bad, but something stops you. you try to say those words, but you realize that you can't because that would be a lie. you have thought many, MANY times that everything would be so much better if magic didn't exist. it's not only because of overblots and other terrible things, it's also because you wouldn't come to this world if it wasn't for magic. this is why you still can't go back home.

♡ you still can't find the courage to say that you think rollo is right, so you end up crying and you keep saying how scared you are and how tired you are. you blame yourself for crying in front of him, because you don't want to make him worry about you, but also, finally letting your feelings out like this feels nice. you needed to cry, you needed to admit that you find this whole situation terrifying and that you want all of this to end. you don't notice rollo looking confused for a second, it's almost like he's not sure what he's supposed to do, but when you look up at him, he's already holding you in his arms. and you realize that you needed someone to hug you like this for a long time.

♡ when rollo tells you about his plan, at first you think that it's a bit too much. you agree that this world would be much better without magic, but taking their powers like this.. you ask rollo if they're really gonna be okay after that, especially the fae students. rollo simply says that you're too kind for villains like them and that you don't have to care about them this much, they don't deserve your sympathy. after everything you've done for them, they are the ones who should feel sorry and beg you to spare them. you still don't want to hurt them too badly, but also.. maybe you and rollo really should teach them a lesson. it's fine, they are gonna be fine, you're doing this to save them, it's not your revenge or anything like that.. at least that's what you want to think and rollo assures you that you two really are going to save them and that your intentions are pure. it feels weird to hear just how much rollo wants to change this world and that you two are the only ones who can truly understand each other even though he's still a magic user himself and you are a magicless human. him meeting a human, who hates magic as much as he does and you meeting a magic user, who is willing to make this scary and cruel world a better place for you.. haha, you two are basically soulmates.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst x reader #rollo flamm #rollo flamm x reader #rollo flamme #rollo flamme x reader #yeah i'm using both tags for him because i've seen both of them being used #i thought i'll just go with one of them but no!! this guy has so many names!! #so yeah i'll decide which one to use if one of them becomes more popular or when we get the official eng version of it

[homesickn]

Isn't Bite Also Touch?

(Loki X female demon!reader)

Chapter 8! — read it all here.

Summary: You and Loki have the first training practice together with the Avengers.

“Who the Hell is Ediel?” Clint asked. “I swear you are bringing people for free from now on.”

It's the first training practice that you're joining along with the Avengers.

“I agree with Hawkeye.” You say, a hand holding your foot up in your stretching. You're all preparing yourselves before starting the exercises. "The Avengers are just accepting free forms at this point.”

“I never even heard this name Ediel in the Bible,” Clint comments, shrugging his shoulders. “Not that I've really paid attention.”

“Maybe it's a made-up name,” you say as if you don't know the truth.

“I love how you're just gossiping about him as if you don't know his life,” Thor brings up with a smile. You give a smile back, sticking your tongue out. “It's kind of funny.”

“Listen, dude. I'm just saying,” There's a twinkle to your expression as you share. “Maybe…if you search for his pictures you'll see his real name.”

“You're the first person that I've ever seen call Thor a dude,” Nat says and you laugh.

“I literally couldn't care less.” Clint expresses with a tired grunt, referring to all the Ediel talk. He was wrapping some bandage wrap around his fist because it was covered by a large bruise.

Ediel was taking pictures somewhere else, it was understandable to say that the humans loved Ediel, since the party scandal. They adored him, it left you infuriated. 

He wasn't even that special, you could do so many more things than him, you were overly powerful, your powers crossed the limits throughout Hell and Earth. You were a child of Satan.

Yet, he was what they wanted to take pictures of. Bunch of fools. 

They're pathetic.

You cross your arms as you look at the team preparing their places, you angrily mutter out your thoughts of him. “Idiot, he's a fool.”

“Anyone from a thousand miles would be able to hear your angry mumbling.” Loki says, coming to your side, crouching down to where you stood sitting near the wall.

“I'm not mumbling, I don't do that.” You cock your head, barely turning to face him. “You know, you were nicer to me when you didn't know I was a demon,” you muse.

He looks at you, amused by your sudden statement.

“When I first saw you you seemed like the most powerful creature my eyes had ever seen,” you blush at his words, that does leave you a bit baffled and speechless. “I wasn't anticipating any family issues in your life story.” He says, remembering the Angel.

You grunt in annoyance, still with your arms crossed childishly. 

“As I said, you don't know me.”

“That's right,” he looks elsewhere. “I despise you.”

That stings a bit more than you expected. How could he claim not to like you? You've barely ever done anything to him.

“Just now, right?” He looks at you with curiosity, and a frown. “You didn't hate me when we first met. You were kind.”

He looks around the room as you say that, quietly remembering his pleasantry when he thought you were just a very powerful witch. He didn't want to think about being too soft and trusting with a demon, but you've done nothing if not show him loyalty and… friendliness.

And on the contrary to his beliefs, he was feeling yet stronger every day, after spending it with you.

He thought you'd weaken him. He thought he should keep himself away. 

He tried to shake away the small bubbling guilt he started to feel. He could see the little bruise, almost non-perceptible, that he'd left on your lips.

“Honestly,” he clears his throat. “I feel like it makes sense for me to doubt your truth.” He tries to explain, he knew you were lying to him about something you wouldn't tell.

You tilt your head arrogantly.

“Well, then you can despise me very far away from me,” you shoosh him away with your hands, like you're guiding a dog out. “Go, go, leave me alone.” 

He looks incredulous, kind of entertained by your gestures.

“You can't treat me like that, are you serious?” He says, but he's smiling at your funny attempts to stop him from bothering you. “I'm not a dog.”

“One day,” you confidently start. “I'll make you my little pet. My dog, a very misbehaved stray for me to train. Mark my words. You'll kneel at my feet.” He feels the power behind those words reach his groins as he shamelessly gives you an infuriating smile.

“Don't threaten me with a good time.”

“I'm being nice, you literally compared me to a–” you paused dramatically to say the next word. “bug, if you remember, from earlier, a bug.”

“Forgive me,” he said, smiling at you. It didn't feel very sincere.

You were quite shaken from his behavior, as much as you love playfully annoying him, his constant emotional barrier strikes you by surprise at times. 

Surprise only, not sadness. You wouldn't let yourself feel inferior for that, much less his silly offending names during rough sexual acts.

Besides, you like it when he's rough too.

Steve arrives a few minutes after, taking your attention away from the annoying god by your side. 

He brings his hands together and begins to explain the exercises you were about to practice, also, how every single training is depending on your specific powers and strength as an individual.

So you should have a partner that matches your level to fight with, and as there's no other match for magic…

“I guess you could say that's me.” Loki points at himself when you look for a partner.

“Look, I would fight you, of course,” you lift your hands up to him as you explain. “But frankly, I don't want to kill you.”

“Kill me?” He laughs. “You're so funny, little demoness.” He conjures his knives.

“Now be careful you two. We don't want to ruin our training with a real murder, we already have enough trouble at bay.” You quirk your eyebrow to Loki from Steve's words.

“See, you fool?” You make sure to make your hands a bit reddish with your powers now, warm enough to burn as you touch him, but not enough to be perceptible to others that you're using pyrokinesis. “No killing.”

Loki sees your little trick, he can feel your magic as you're close, and purposefully makes his hands colder too, he could only hope they didn't turn blue.

As you go for the first attack he hisses from the burn, he grabs your wrist and you feel the freezing touch on your skin.

“Oww!” You jump from the cold and feel the needle pricking sensation on your flesh. You gasp as you point accusing him. “Cheater! You're using ice powers! I didn't even know you had these.”

“You get caught unaware and assume I'm cheating now?” You take the moment of his distraction, and jump to fight him in another hurried way, like a wild beast.

He catches you by your hips while you keep hitting his head with your fists giving very burning sensations. Nothing truly harmful, so it doesn't step the limits.

He complains and winces from the touch. “We should agree on no pyrokinesis, to keep the battle fair.”

“Am I hurting the little prince?” You manage to ask, smiling devilishly as he still holds you up, attempting to take you off of him. 

“You truly are an annoying little imp, aren't you?” You feel the softness behind those words, your attacks now getting less intense. The others don't stop their training, you keep your focus on Loki's moves.

He manages to push you off of him with a blast of his green seidr, you fall on one of the comfortable mats on the floor, proper for practical fighting. 

You giggle as your body hits the ground, you give a thumbs up to him as you cradle your lower stomach. “Good one, man, you got me.” 

Loki doesn't know why he feels this… guilt as he watches you, the same position, you, on the floor. Quite the same as earlier but now your words rang in his ears.

You don't know why he's standing there like a fish left in thought, but you take the moment to lift yourself with easy flexibility, giving a superhero stance as you run towards him again.

Your powers make him hit the wall, he grunts and gives you a smile.

“Didn't hurt. Is this the best your powers can do?”

“I told you, I could kill you if I use them too much, be careful.” You tease and feel the magic tingling your veins, it excites you whenever you can use it freely like this. You were almost jumping like a kid from excitement.

“As much as magic may be a fascinating sight,” Natasha says, and you turn to face her. “Please, don't break anything in the way.” 

Bruce was sitting on a little chair as he spoke up. “Yeah, preferably everything in place.”

Loki grabs your arm and twists your body with his to the ground, hovering you again, and licking his lips. You feel the shock to your core as you look up his eyes, he gulps as he looks down into yours.

“Don't turn your back to your enemy, you really do need the training lessons.” 

You smile. “Well, I don't have to practice. I don't need to.” You easily turn his body around, pinning him down this time. 

He hungrily gazes your figure up on him, straddling him, then he catches your eyes again.

“See? I can do anything I want, sometimes you tend to forget.” You wink and press yourself closer to his chest, almost reaching his mouth as you speak.

“This doesn't look like the usual training we have around here,” Tony mutters, peeking from the open door. “This is why I don't participate in these things.”

You lick your lips and move to guide Loki's body up with you, he relents and attaches his hand to yours as you two move to stand up.

Once it's done, you stare at the sight of your hands together, you twist it a little, like a creature facing something unusual, analyzing it. It's not something you usually do. 

Nobody really ever held your hand, even in a situation as casual as this was.

He untangles his hands from yours. You feel the wish you could grab it back.

“Let's keep training.”

“Who do you train with?” You ask Thor, taking a breath from your training with Loki.

“With Loki, but you stole him from me,” he says, not very seriously, smiling at you and handing you a bottle of water. “My brother and I fight together all the time, it's almost tradition between us at this point. He's the only match for my Asgardian strength.”

It feels comforting to see the familiarity behind Thor's words, he's really nostalgic as he talks of his experiences of battle and training practices with his brother. 

“But it's great to see an equal match to him, one that shares magical abilities too,” he continues.

“It's rare those moments that you come to compliment me or my skill set,” Loki snickers at his brother. 

“I always speak the world of you,” Thor's words felt too honest, too impactful to a level you felt you were interrupting something personal about him, and his family.

You're in awe, his brother truly loves him.

But who are you to say anything to Loki? You know how he must feel. Left to always be the one in second place, his brother destined to have the throne.

Your eyes glance at the others still in action, your muscles ready to continue the fighting but you take the time to ponder your thoughts.

That's why Loki must be so restricted, so distrusting. He questions your every move, just because of your nature. 

You don't want to take Thor's side and tease Loki's moodiness, besides, it's not really your business, you don't know what they've been through.

“Do you want to train with him a little? We can keep going later,” You offer to Thor, and say the second part to Loki.

“Are you really selling me like that?” Loki asks jokingly with a smile.

“Yes. It's a very easy deal,” You say, the golden brother laughs and pats Loki's back.

“Let's do some battle moves, just like the old times,” Thor moves to grab his weapon, Loki doesn't seem excited, but he definitely seems used to it as he readies himself. “Then you will show the lady your fighting techniques.” 

You smile at the two, glad to be an audience.

“Just know I'll be rooting for you!” You loudly tell Loki, he stops short on his steps, processing your words. Then, he quietly moves to prepare for the training with his brother.

Some hours later, you find yourself walking towards Stark's common lab to pester him.

“There's a lot of new people coming around,” You say, shrugging your shoulders as you share with Tony. “This is ridiculous, why so many? Why do you even need so many people around?”

“This tower doesn't stand by itself.”

“It actually does, that's how buildings are made.”

“No, no, stupid, I meant the work around here. S.H.I.E.L.D and the Stark Industries.” Tony brings up, checking some files. “You're just complaining because your brother is getting pampered by the media, it's a good thing, at least it covers your face from the news.”

“My face in the media should be a delight, humans should be grateful. AND, you should know better than to call me stupid,” you meekly threaten.

“You don't scare us.”

“Because I choose not to,” your voice is cold.

“Right,” he pretends not to care. “But what is the matter with that? Having many people around.”

You sigh loudly as you look out of the lab, unfortunately seeing that there's one of the female agents talking with Loki. A blonde, high-pitched voice woman.

“Like, who the fuck is she?” You point to the woman close to Loki.

“Oh, that's Clair. She's one of the best in the business.”

“I bet she is,” you angrily muster. “Such a pathetic human name.”

“She's also incredibly Christian, maybe that's just your demon side speaking,” you pout from Tony's words. 

“Cheer up, sis, no one's stealing your man from you.” Ediel shows up and you give him an angry stare.

The lab was usually chillier than the common areas of the Tower, you wondered why Tony felt the need to keep everything cold and so robotic-looking, but again, you're not the scientist here. 

“You shouldn't even be here,” you bring up. “All of your species are insufferable, always bringing up their noses where they weren't called.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tony swears, passing his hand down his face in disbelief, and clear annoyance. “Could you shut the fuck up? Honestly, I'll pay for you to leave the house.”

You smile impishly, tilting your shoulders up and down in joy. Still smiling even as you look over where Loki is.

“Deal.”

“Wait, what?” Tony is confused.

“I want to go out!” You plead like a child. “But I can't go by myself…” 

“Poor Loki,” Ediel looks at the ceiling to avoid your face. “Not only is being held hostage here but has to deal with you and your possessiveness.”

A tilt of your wrist has his voice disappearing, surprising Stark with the sudden use of your magic like that. 

Ediel touches his throat and tries to figure out what's wrong with his vocal cords, because you've removed it with magic.

“Finally, some peace,” you sigh, then smile to leave their presence, moving towards the loud lady bugging Loki with her presence.

“Loki!” You call loudly, interrupting with a shake of your hand eagerly through the air. “Loki! Loki!”

He almost rolls his eyes, but holds back a smile. 

“Pardon,” he whispers to Clair. As you reach over, he puts his hand close to your stomach to stop you in your steps. He says your name. “Don't do–”

“Who are you?” You ask the woman whom you already know the name of, the sparkle in your eyes holding fake politeness. 

“Don't do anything irrational,” Loki's low tone orders, his timbre almost vibrating through your brain like a purr of a kitten, but he seems a bit too serious when he says these words. “Please, I know you.”

You gape at him and put a hand over your chest. Looking at the girl who's sheepishly looking back at you, shy now. 

She introduces herself calmly, you nod to recognize it but still pay more attention to Loki's insinuation.

“I'm not going to do anything, such a lack of trust! You need some therapy, man,” again, he sighs off, from the term, squishing his eyes shut now. “Therapy, some talking would do you good, for sure.” 

He passes his hand over his face in annoyance, you close your arms around him. He just puts his hand on your arm to steady you. 

“I'm a god, I don't need these things, a Midgardian giving me tips on how to live my life,” you're surprised he doesn't push you away, just keeps his hand over your arm, so you can look up from his chest.

He looks down at you to see you talk.

“Do they have therapy in Asgard?” 

“We do, we're just too proud to face it sometimes.”

“So that's just a general experience then. Good to know,” you don't want to waste his good mood too much.

Clair's just shamefully trying to move away to leave you two alone, trying to sneak out. You could only chuckle, the sound muffling against Loki's chest.

“You drove her away,” he states, not sounding harsh or upset. His hand caresses your back now, he also pushes your hair behind your ears. 

“I tend to do it a lot.”

“They're scared of you.”

“I know that too,” you could hear his heartbeat. “Do you know we're allowed out?” He knits his eyebrows, surprised, maybe it's a lie.

“How?”

“I tricked Stark, I think,” he can't hold back his smile from your sentence. 

In Asgard, Thor was the one that was considered the role model, Loki always tried to be like him. 

He recognized from an early age that his methods and thinking were too different from his brother's, it upset him, even his sense of humor contained more wit and tricks, his tricks would always bring the fun to the scenes most of the time.

It was somewhat devilish from the Asgardians perspective, the tricks, Loki wasn't naturally aware of how socially devious his pranks were.

Thor was always the one being praised, the more he tried to copy that, the lonelier he felt when he didn't receive the same treatment. 

The tricks felt like an escape, something that's his, his magic did that too. The mischief suddenly didn't come only for battle tactics or parties, or to call for the attention of his parents.

It became part of him, it grew within him, he couldn't get it away. To a point, he became known to it. Everybody knew of his tricks and lies, they grew popular and infamous. 

There were a lot of problems that came with being popularly known as a trickster, obviously. But altogether, it felt quite lonely. 

Something he thought to be inherently linked with being a trickster, and the God of Lies: you get no one's trust, no one sticks with you, he should grow used to loneliness.

His mother was the only one who's always seen him in a different light, even if it's difficult for Loki to admit— and he isn't going to say this outloud; but he knows she loves him. She loves him, she motivated him to learn more magic, she's one of the only people who could find the fun in some of his harmless tricks. She often says she's proud of his intellect, respecting him for all his individuality. 

She's the only person he resented not seeing from this deal of having to stick to Midgard. She's the only one he truly misses when he thinks of home.

His mind often convinces him most of the time that all she did was out of guilt, for lying to him for his entire life. 

He doesn't know why he feels so sour, that's why he's refusing to think too much about home lately.

But you?

Your bright eyes locking with his, he could only hope you don't hear the quick pounding in his chest. 

You came into his life with all he's been criticized for in his life, sharing it with him and not feeling ashamed of it for even a second. And for the first time, he's found someone who truly seems to admire all the powers he has, who shares the same mischief as him. A demon.

He never knows what to do with this information, he doesn't know what to think, it's like a huge barrier prevents him from trusting you. 

Whenever he thinks too much about your trustworthiness, the reminders of his time under Thanos' grip hit him like the blade of a sharp knife. He could still feel the phantom pains from the bubbling heat burning his skin, from the chains holding him as he tries to remember how it feels like to be safe.

And he'd often try to forget how painful the lies they told hurt him, he tried to think of home, searching for a feeling of safety, but it'd only bring him further down his pain, it would stick inside and mix with something traumatic, and bitter.

It's difficult, he still doesn't feel free. The nightmares make that, you make him doubt your loyalty, what if he wakes up one day and he's still there? 

Out there, dehydrating and begging for peace in his mind, feeling his bones weaken under his usually so tough skin. It still gives him goosebumps, he swallows in anxiety.

His hand is still on your back, you're curiously looking up at him. 

“Too deep into his own thoughts for me to see it,” you think, you're not so sure you, actually, wish to read his mind.

“Earth to Loki?” You ask. He brings his gaze to you again.

“Unfortunately, I'm still on this godforsaken planet,” you laugh.

“I'm going to make sure we can go out.”

“As in, like, from the Tower? Forever?”

“I was thinking just for like, a park or something,” you pretend to think. “But yeah, we can discuss escaping later. I have my ways.”

Taglist: @mischief2sarawr @dangertoozmanykids101 @lokidbadguy

#loki x you #loki x reader #loki fanfic #loki friggason #loki laufeyson #soft!dark loki #dark!reader #loki angst #loki fluff #loki #loki x female reader #loki and reader #loki and you #loki x f!reader #demon!reader #loki odinson #loki smut #loki mcu #dom!loki #dom loki

[halfmoth-halfman]

About the scene you just talked about:

I actually saw it (or interpretated it) as less problematic because Samara was part of Farahs group and therefore a freedom fighter, then she was forced to do you know what by Makarov. Makarov used not only the negative stereotypes that exist against middle eastern people, but also the fact that Farahs group is one of his main enemies in Urzikstan and this is where I think that COD actually did a good job i guess? Because stuff like this happens, especially in these times of the war in gaza, middle eastern (also mainly muslim people, but idk if Samara is explicitly muslim) people have it harder to fight against stereotypes and media are quick to blame them and use these stereotypes (which was also shown in mw3 with the news thing). Idk if it was their intention or if I just optimistically interpretated it like that, but I thought the scene was like a depiction of what happens in real life, short: middle eastern people being negatively used to push an agenda which is easy because of the existing stereotypes

I hope i was able to explain it well and not offend anyone. I would love to hear more opinions on this :)

(there are spoilers below)

i can understand that they may be trying to emulate real life, but personally i think regardless of samara's ties to farah and her being a former ulf soldier, they should've chosen a different way to go about the mission. yes, it could be understandable for makarov to want to frame farah and urzikstan, and that it could be playing off of real stereotypes and experiences that middle eastern people go through, but i don't think activision put that much thought into it and i don't think they care.

the original no russian mission involved makarov framing america despite the 141 (also his enemies) not being american, but activision chose to change that to specifically frame the middle eastern country for terrorism (mirroring a 9/11 style event) and kept that in during a time when there is actual genocide happening in palestine and islamophobia is growing back to a post-9/11 high in the us, the country they're based in.

and honestly, the change really cheapens makarov's character for me. he's supposed to be some big, menacing villain who is at the forefront of his movement and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his goal, and in the og games we see that in the way he carries out the no russian mission himself. in this game, he does what? threatens samara then jumps out of a plane and that's it? the worst he does is give a speech explaining why he's doing it - it's his men that do most of the work forcing her to carry out the hijacking.

he's also supposed to be the 141's big bad, their mortal nemesis, but there's more emphasis on the way he and konni group terrorize and kill farah's friends and soldiers - dena and samara, in particular - than when he shot soap, a main character, and i think that's very telling.

if it were another gaming company that put more thought into their plot and considered the nuance of their storylines, maybe i could be convinced it was well intentioned, but activision makes military games. these game are meant to be military propaganda above all else, so i'm not willing to give them that kind of grace. i think it was a deliberate choice for an american company to not have their villain frame america like in the original game and instead fall back onto the same, tired "let's frame the middle eastern people as terrorists storyline" that's in every pro-military game and movie, during a time when there is a humanitarian crisis happening in palestine.

#luvmeraxes #moth answers #answered #mw3 spoilers #mwiii spoilers

[grox-empire]

ANOTHER propaganda post for @voidspace-bubble's spore tourney.

GROX SWEEP BABYYYY!

There is a reason my blog is themed around them. There is a REASON my fursona, Who I own a fursuit of, is a Grox. There is a FUCKING REASON they are one of few holdovers from Spore in daybreak. I am SO autistic about them you have no idea. Spore in general is my special interest but something about these little guys specifically just has me ENTRALLED.

They're the big bads of spore. The main villains of space stage. They're built up from the beginning of space stage and are a major obstacle even towards the endgame. You can either ally with them, Which is far easier to do but comes with MANY penalties... Or take on the grueling task of wiping out their entire empire, Which is roughly 2000 planets large and circles the galactic core. And they are one of my absolute FAVORITE parts of the game. First off, The way they're built up. They're built up as a big, scary empire. the antithesis to life. But then you meet them and they fucking LOOK LIKE THIS

Which??? Can I just say. Is fucking IMMACULATE. The sheer contrast with how these guys are described and how they actually LOOK is just... amazing. They're built up as a force to be reckoned with, Everyone is TERRIFIED of them... And yet when you actually meet them? They're short, impish, vaguely cat-like aliens with the saddest, wettest eyes you have ever seen, And incredibly low-level parts at that. The best part? They do genuinely live up to their reputation, Too! I definitely know a lot of people aren't a fan of their design because it's not scary or threatening enough but I personally think the sheer contrast between how they look and what they are makes them MORE scary. What would drive something like that to this point? And that's not even taking into account how goddamned fun they are to draw and stylize. Due to their design being pretty simplistic you can interpret it in many ways... I personally see them as vaguely cat-like, Child-sized humanoid aliens with short fur, But i've met several people out there who see them totally different to how I do. It's VERY interesting.

Second of all, The sheer amount of PERSONALITY these little guys have while you talk to them. Spore's dialogue is great and highly underrated but The Grox? Honestly they're just... The absolute PEAK of what spore's writing can be like. They're super fucking charming. Like there's CLEARLY so much more to them than what you see on the surface... But unfortunately because spore is spore and worldbuilding isn't their top priority, You never really learn what their deal is beyond what is shown to you. But that doesn't stop me and MANY others from having headcanons! I have a whole BOATLOAD of headcanons that I am fucking refraining from talking about here since... This isn't about my own version of them that i've come up with in my head, this is about how they are in canon spore. That IS to say, though... If anyone is interested in hearing more about that please for the love of god LET ME KNOW I could go on for HOURS about my thought on these guys

I'm tired as fuck and this probably sounds SO incoherent because I have so many thoughts that i'm unable to articulate, But i'm so autistic about these guys especially. They're genuinely one of my favorite fictional characters of all time and I really want other people to be able to appreciate them too ^^ They're definitely the creature I would personally like to win the poll. I know it's a pretty damn obvious choice but these little guys genuinely mean a lot to me and I don't think i'd really be the same person I am now without them. I've been fixated on them since like... 2019?? and it's lead me to creating my passion project which I plan on sticking to for years to come.

So, To make a long story short? GROX SWEEP!

#spore #grox #spore creatures tournament #propaganda post

[luveline]

hi jade!! sorry if this is unwanted at all - i know it’s weird when people come to your inbox just to rant, but i just feel like your someone who it would be so nice to talk to. i am not doing well right now and i so admire the way that you talk about people and life with such kindness even when you admit you are also feeling badly.

i remember a little while ago you posted about feeling like a drag on those around you because you were feeling low or unloved even around people who love you (sorry if i’m misremembering words/feelings?). i’m feeling that so much right now and it’s really scaring me. if you’re open to sharing, i would love to hear more about how you are feeling and/or how you approach these feelings (do you talk to the people around you about them, for example?)

sorry again for the out of the blue message, and regardless of whether you read this or respond to it, i hope you have an absolutely lovely day <3 thank you for being you

No it's okay!! I'm sorry you're having a tough time my love, it's rough.

Lately I've been feeling really unhappy. I think most of it comes from internal feelings of doubt and poor self esteem and stuff like that, and I guess I try to cope with that by reminding myself that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm not trying to suggest that anyone experiencing self loathing is a narcissist or anything, but I feel much better about not loving who I am when I remind myself that it doesn't matter? Like, it does, it really hurts, and it makes me tired, but hating myself won't change what I am, so it's okay to pump the brakes sometimes. I wish things were different, but I can make it through the day if I focus my attention on other people like my family or on expressing myself through something creative like writing or drawing. I really enjoy pretending to be somebody else. And also remembering that even if you don't like yourself, you still deserve things; to be treated well, to make your best effort to treat others well, to eat and take care of your body, all that junk.

I'm glad you think I talk about people and life with kindness, I'm really happy it looks that way. I try really hard to be good to others and to try and be mindful of the things that I have (without demonising myself for feeling the impact of the things I don't have, either). lm sorry if this isnt a good answer for your ask, I've answered and deleted three different times now because I'm not sure what to tell you, it's a hard question (but I really don't mind you asking). I'm not totally sure how I deal with it all. Not always well😭 I have these moments where I think it will never ever get better for me and that this uncertain claustrophobic feeling of who I am will always be near me. I guess if you measure it up as like —if i asked you right now if you truly believed that no one loved me, what would you say? So I definitely believe that the people around you love you, but I'm sorry you're not feeling it, it's not a nice feeling and not easy to cope with. And about being a drag, honestly even if you were a drag, love is knowing that you're allowed to do that. I know you don't want to bring people down, but some people won't mind if it's you cos they love you. You don't HAVE to always make people happy, you're a person. I'm sure there are moments where people in your life have possibly given you too much to handle, or tired you out, but you don't resent them for it and they don't resent you, either. It's the 'human condition' I think to need things from others. I hope you feel better soon! Or as better as you can, and I hope this isn't a paragraph of uselessness 💗💗

#jade's asks #ily

[robinsnest2111]

Hey that coiled-dragon person is proship and engages with incest and underage ships, just to let you know

hey anon, I appreciate your concern but I gotta make something very clear.

I've been in fandom spaces for way longer than the terms "proship" and "anti" have ever existed (at least in their current form/use). And I still stick to the old fandom rules of Ship and Let Ship, Don't Like Don't Read/Look, the good old kinktomato (ykinmkato -> Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That's Okay), and being very liberal with the block function and content filters to shape my online existence to my liking.

I've experienced that first noticable wave of antis on here in the 2010s first-hand; them calling out, witch hunting and threatening real life harm to very sweet people I've been mutuals with for years, baselessly accusing them of the most vile real life crimes over their fictional tastes. I've had total strangers in my inbox accusing me of supporting and endorsing the same vile real life crimes they accused my mutuals of simply for daring to associate with someone the antis had on the very top of their shitlist.

At the end of the day I only care about if people are Kind, Compassionate And Respectful to other Real Life Human Beings and their boundaries! I could care less what they like in fiction.

As long as there are no cold hard facts of anyone doing real life harm to real life people I honestly don't want to hear about it. I'm tired of this entire thought crime debacle.

Fandom is supposed to be fun and a playground/sandbox to safely explore whatever catches your brain's fancy without necessarily enjoying or having to act it out in real life.

#anonymous #ask robin #just my 2 cents #if anyone is uncomfortable with me holding that stance: you're free to unfollow. i'm not holding you against your will #i'm just so so tired of this... it's been almost 10 years and it's only getting worse it seems... #this shit honestly scared me back then. i was around 18 and people threatening real life harm to my online friends? fucked up #now i'm just. tired lol #and not as afraid to voice my opinion/stance on divisive topics

[rahullkohli]

Hi, Annika. I just saw your last post and I wanted to check in and see if you're doing okay. I am sending you my best.

jesus christ this is two months old, i am so sorry. thank you so much for checking in on me, it's honestly so nice to log in to see. i appreciate it so much. i'll just put explanation under a cut because it's all just a lot. you don't have to read, but at least i can use it to dump my brain for what's been going on, because i don't have anyone to talk to about it.

but ily for caring about me, i truly was scared to log in and find that no one had noticed i was gone and that people just forgot i existed.

so basically, my dad was in the hospital with a blood clot in his eye at the beginning of december, which fucked up his sight a lot. and everything was just so heavy with christmas being the worst time of the year for me, and then on top of that last year was absolute hell for me so i just fell heavy into the depression.

then on january 4th or sth my dad had another blood clot in the brain, which brings us to the ninth blood clot in his brain in about two years. this time around was the worst hit so far, and he now needs so much help. so i'm basically his primary caregiver again. he has a nurse that comes a couple times a week, and social health workers coming every day to make sure he eats, do some cleaning, help with stuff like laundry and such, which is a huge relief. but there's still so many other things he can't help with, and that all falls on me. like going to his hospital appointments with him because his memory and eyes are basically worthless at this point.

on top of that my depression is just getting worse and worse. except for when i go to help my dad, i don't see anyone socially. my dad never asks me about how i'm doing, how my life is, or anything like that, neither does the rest of my family. i only hear from them when they ask about our dad. so i am more or less just a tool for them.

and tumblr just started feeling like such a negative place. most of what i saw was people telling others what they were allowed to like and not like, and if you didn't adhere to those rules you were told you were a monster. and most stuff i saw on my dash seemed to be new things i didn't have the energy to engage with (i still haven't watched wednesday even though i was so excited for it). and it was a lot of all the bad crap happening in the world, and tumblr didn't feel like an escape any longer, it just felt like it was amplifying my depression, and speaking into the catastrophe thinking side of my OCD and anxiety, and it made my intrusive thoughts hit a level i honestly haven't experienced before, and i was genuinely afraid of myself.

and i'm just exhausted. the past three months i have been in bed when i haven't been doing stuff for my dad. the only thing i have for myself to keep me sane atm is running twice a week, yoga once a week, and song lessons once a week. the support person i got switched to after my old one quit is on sick leave now, so i have a temp, but i can't really talk to her because all of my shit is just such a heavy baggage and i don't know where to start, especially since i'm hopefully only seeing her for another month.

i'm just tired. if i didn't have cas to take care of, i think i would have asked my doctors about options for psychiatric hospitals for a while. i feel like a zombie most of the time, and i only keep going because there's not really any other alternative. so i guess that's that.

at least i was able to work things out with my vet bill, and i'll be paying the last installment next month, and cas is strong and healthy as if nothing happened.

also, i'm using pedro pascal to cope.so that too.

#anonymoose #ask #thank you for caring about me anon ily <3 #i hope i can be back now

[stargazer-sims]

Beyond the Broken Parts

Eden: Everything okay?

Haru: Yeah.

Eden: Sorry for invading your privacy, but you were in here a really long time, and you didn't answer when I knocked and called your name. I got worried.

Haru: Sorry about that. I didn't even hear you knocking. I guess I zoned out for a few minutes. It happens sometimes.

Eden: Are you sure you're all right?

Haru: I'm okay. Just a little tired. I figured I'd take my medication while I was in here, so I wouldn't forget before bed. You know, 'cause my routine is different with you here. But then, uh... I kinda forgot what I was doing anyway.

Eden: I didn't know you have to take medication.

Haru: It's for my brain.

Eden: I shouldn't want to laugh at that, but...

Haru: Yeah... that came out wrong. Remember, I explained how I have problems because of all the alcohol and drugs and stuff my mother was using?

Eden: I remember.

Haru: I need something to regulate all my brain chemicals and calm me down. Otherwise, I'd be so hyper that I'd probably be flying off the walls, and I wouldn't be able to think or focus long enough to have an intelligent conversation or learn anything. Or even basically take care of myself, I guess.

Eden: I'm sorry.

Haru: You shouldn't be. This is my everyday life. It's not a bad thing. It's just... you know. A thing. It's not something I really talk about with anyone, but it's always been a part of who I am.

Eden: I won't tell anybody.

Haru: I appreciate that. It's not something I'd want the whole world to know.

Eden: That's totally understandable. Your friends know, though, right?

Haru: They all know I take medication, but only Ryu and Taiji know exactly what it's for. Keigo might know too, but not from me telling him. I'd never tell him or Senjirō, unless I absolutely had to. I only tell my private stuff to people I trust.

Eden: Are you saying you trust me? Even though we've only known each other for a short time? You've known those guys for like, five or six years, haven’t you?

Haru: About five years, yeah. Sometimes, the longer you know somebody, the less you trust them, though. I mean, I trust Keigo to a point. Like, he's a good person and he'd never intentionally hurt anyone, and I like him, but I'm just not comfortable sharing some stuff with him.

Eden: And Senjirō?

Haru: I think we can say we're friends, but not great friends. He doesn’t take me seriously, and we have too many differences to be really close. And to answer your other question, yes I trust you.

Eden: Thank you. That means a lot.

Haru: You already mean a lot to me.

Eden: Same. I honestly didn't know it was possible to fall for somebody this fast, but I'm glad to be discovering it with you.

Haru: Me too.

Eden: If you're really tired, maybe we should go to bed now. There's no reason to stay up any later, especially if you need to rest your brain.

Haru: My brain could use some rest. The problem is, I’m tired but I’m not sleepy, if that makes sense.

Eden: It does. If you’re not sleepy, we can cuddle in bed. That’ll be easy on your brain.

Haru: I like this plan.

Eden: Good, because I really want to cuddle with you.

Haru: Shirtless?

Eden: Apparently, skin-to-skin contact is very therapeutic.

Haru: You think it works on brains, too?

Eden: *smiling* There’s only one way to find out. We can get a good night’s rest, and maybe you’ll feel better in the morning

Haru: I usually feel great in the mornings. It’s once the day gets going that it sometimes goes all to hell. I don't know why changes in my routine are so hard, but whenever there's the smallest difference, it's like I'm using up three times as much energy just to deal with simple, normal things.

Eden: That must make travelling and being on tour really difficult and stressful for you.

Haru: Yeah, but it's worth it. I always get really energized from the audience. I might have to sleep for most of the next day, or the day after if we have back-to-back shows, but I'm totally willing to do it for that big crowd energy.

Eden: I wish there was something I could do to help you. To make everything better somehow.

Haru: You know what? You're already doing it.

Eden: How? What am I doing?

Haru: Supporting me. Taking me seriously. Being somebody who knows I'm broken and who sees past the broken pieces.

Eden: Haru—

Haru: What?

Eden: You're so much more than your 'broken pieces' as you call them. Maybe you've got issues most people don't have, and like you said, it's part of who you are, but you're a whole person with a million different parts. An amazing person with a million amazing parts. That's what I see.

Haru: How'd you get to be so beautiful? On the inside as well as the outside, I mean.

Eden: I credit my mother, mostly. She says acceptance is the most important thing when it comes to other people. Like, everybody matters, without having to qualify it.

Haru: I think I already like your mother.

Eden: When you feel ready for it, we can FaceTime with her and my dad, and I'll introduce you. I think Mommy will really like you, too.

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #sugar valentine #Eden Seong #Sakuharu Abe #wearesugarvalentine #tw medication #tw intellectual disability #stargazersims

[nekosd43]

I just need to vent

I'm so depressed. But it feels different from my Capital D Depression because at least when I take medication my Capital D Depression chills out.

Like it feels physically different. I remember what it felt like before I was medicated, this does NOT feel like that. I remember how I would talk to myself before and it is not like that.

I honestly don't think i can pills and therapy my way out of this one.

I can't get out of this goddamn funk because I'm stuck in a living situation that is actually capital H Hell because somehow I am perpetually unlucky.

It's the first day of school again and once again I am at home with no job. Everyone tells me I'm good at teaching, I never get negative feedback when I'm observed, students and parents like me BUT SOMEHOW I never get to keep a job! Somehow there is always someone better and more qualified than me! HOW IS THAT STILL POSSIBLE I've been teaching for 12 years!!! I've taught literally every grade and every version of language arts offered in our district, from newcomer english to APIB. But then I see people fresh out of college getting hired and I think - is it me??? Am I doing something wrong??? nobody tells me I am but I can't get a job so clearly it's me???

I live in one of the pockets of Red in CA so our district is very conservative, and I'm hearing talks of book bans and parent rights and CTR and I know I'm not Out but I wonder if it's that, or if I should even be staying here at all.

But then I can't leave because I can't make the money to afford moving!

My normal outlets and coping strategies don't help because it's inescapable. And now internet 3.0 is sucking out what little joy I was getting from those things.

I make things and I want people to see them and say something, but I spend hours on a painting and I get no response. I ask questions and nobody answers. And I think "ah, but you should make things because you love to make them, not because of the attention it brings you" but YOU KNOW WHAT IT WOULD JUST BE NICE IF LITERALLY ANYONE TOLD ME I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB AT ANYTHING?

I'm so TIRED of clearly being good at my job, being good at writing, being a good artist, and yet I get NO acknowledgement from people UNLESS I have predicated it with self deprecation or shove it into people's faces and ask them directly "Hey tell me you like this".

And I KNOW this is 100% not because I'm bad at what I do. It's because the way things are structured now on the internet makes it basically impossible for me to be seen by anyone who isn't already looking for me. And maybe I wouldn't be so dependent on it if I hadn't come from an adolescence Old Web where it was a lot easier to discover and talk to other artists and I had people communicating with me directly about what I was making instead of just liking it and leaving it in the void.

And I WANT to decouple myself, I want to not feel like I NEED the numbers to go up to be happy, but I can't STOP sharing things online because I'm becoming more and more isolated and it's the only way to share things with the people who DO care. Friends I've had my whole life are moving away from me in the physical world, and online friends i've known for decades are disappearing in waves because of policy changes and then they're just Gone. The internet is the only way I can keep in touch with people but it's ALSO my biggest tormentor because every SECOND someone isn't talking to me I feel as though I'm being purposefully ignored.

BUT every second someone IS talking to me it becomes a guilt spiral of "ah shit, how have I guilted this person into pitying me because Evidence shows people would MUCH rather not talk to me." And I KNOW that's not true!!!! People have lives outside me!!! But my world is getting smaller and smaller and feels more and more empty and the best thing to do is LEAVE and let my world get BIGGER with MORE THINGS in it but I can't AFFORD to leave and nobody around me is obligated to drop what they're doing to make me feel like the world isn't ending.

AND YEAH IT FEELS LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING.

I don't want to feel that way but I do!!!!! I feel like everything is on the verge of collapse, and who is going to need ME when the world ends? Nobody! Nobody will ! They all have someone else they'd turn to first and I WOUDN'T WANT THEM TO ANYWAY! What good am I??

I just need everyone to stop what they're doing and HOLD me and tell me I did the best I could??? How selfish! How self centered! Who am I to ask that!? The world is ending and all I can think about is me.

AND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I KNOW. I KNOW IF I JUST HAD AN INCOME NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING TO ME. I don't feel this way when I'm working, even on my VERY meager teacher's salary! But I can't keep a job long enough to GET OUT OF HERE. I just work JUST long enough to have hope, and then I'm unemployed again!

I JUST WANT TO LIVE! I JUST WANT TO HAVE A PLACE THAT IS MINE! I JUST WANT TO LIKE WHO I AM AND WHAT I DO! AND I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO SEE ME AND I KNOW I'M SEEN AND THAT'S ENOUGH.

and the worst part is i know i will be refreshing this all day hoping to see SOMEONE, ANYONE commenting. because number goes up. and that will feel good for ten minutes.