#I'm quite depressed this year so I'm hoping today will be good

[lucianinsanity]

It's my birthday 🎈

#I'm going to buy some books and maybe shoes and other stuff #I'm quite depressed this year so I'm hoping today will be good #I want to draw some stuff too #I'm advancing on my inktober so maybe I'll post it early somewhere #I'm not really having fun #between my knees and my doctors telling me to lose weight and fighting with all my irl friends #just not doing all that goos #I'll go see a therapist soon I hope #bye an sanity #an is venting #in the tags but still

[hellish-sunsets]

Lucifer red string of fate soulmate au? Like, maybe he and Lilith originally got together despite the strings because Lucifers was Grey or something at the time; but eventually his turns bright red because turns out his soulmate was mortal and is now a sinner so they can actually be together? I think it would be cute since he's so depressed with Lilith leaving him; now he has the sparkle of hope that he can find the missing piece to his puzzle 😊 if you do end up writing this request could it be super fluffy??? (Also bonus points if Sinner Reader is not only shorter then him but also super kind hearted and sweet!)

I'm a sucker for soulmate AU's! This one got a bit away from me, I'll probably have to make a part two, but for now here's what I got!

Gray Dyed Red

Word Count: 1,912

-------------------------

The strings existed since the beginning of… well, existence. Every being had one tied to their middle finger, or the closest they had to one for the more animalistic ones. No one could see them but the owner of the string, thin things that could never tangle or be broken, either red or gray. And at the end of that string was supposed to be your soulmate. Well, as long as it was red. 

Lucifer’s had always been gray. 

And yeah, it bothered him at first, but he was quick to push aside and keep himself busy with creating with the other angels. He would lose himself in his work. But then, none of his ideas were good enough. They were too… different. He just wanted to make something he could be proud of. 

He was only allowed to watch when Adam and Lillith were made. 

Watching wasn’t as much fun, but he could still keep himself distracted. He smiled down at them as they started their lives on the earth they were given. 

Then they fell apart. He didn’t understand why. Surely the first man and woman would be soulmates, right? But no, they didn’t fit well at all. They’re relationship was a constant fight of who was in charge. He decided he had to help somehow, and in the process fell in love with Lillith. She told him her string was gray, and he thought that maybe they could make it work. They loved and supported each other! What did it matter if they weren’t soulmates?

Even after their fall to hell, they spent thousands of years in each other's arms. 

Then she left.

No word, no note, just an empty bed and an empty castle. 

And he knew he was falling apart, shunning the rest of the world, not even reaching out to Charlie anymore, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted a distraction, something to put his mind on that wasn’t his own failures. 

The gray string of his was just a reminder that there was no one for him, not even the woman he gave all his existence to. 

But it was strange. All these thousands of years, it had never changed color before. 

He didn’t even notice at first, couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it happened. He was in bed, had probably been there far too long. He physically couldn’t sleep anymore, so he needed to distract himself with something else. Maybe he could make an actually good rubber duck today. He should probably shower first, or clean himself in some way. Showers were faster so they usually won out. Though, they didn’t usually end up being faster once he gets in there. 

Whatever, he just needed to get up, right?

With a groan, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, stretching his arms over his head. He avoided staring at the empty side of the bed, shoving the covers off to head for the bathroom, the wood floors cold against his feet. 

He yawned as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror. That’s when he saw it, a glint of red. He frowned and lowered his hand to stare, wondering what he had seen. It couldn’t have been his eyes, the shade wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t his cheeks. He went to scratch his chin but froze with his hand halfway up. 

The string was red, deep and bright and unlike anything he had seen before. He looked down at his hand with wide eyes, not quite comprehending what it meant, but for some reason his heart seemed to flip in his chest. That was strange…

So… he had a soulmate now? How? When? Were they just made, or perhaps they were born somewhere? Were they from Earth? Heaven? Hell? Could he find them now? Maybe it turned because they just entered hell. But then, how good of a person could they be if they were down here with the sinners, perhaps a sinner themself? Was that even the type of person he wanted to interact with? But he had seen so many find their soulmates on the other end of their string and, good person or not, they were always perfect for eachother.

His heart does another flip in his chest.

He forces himself to undress and get in the shower, but his mind kept racing, going over the same questions over and over again.

His shower was much shorter than usual. He wanted to get out as soon as possible.

It had been a very long time since he bothered walking or flying through the city. He didn’t much like the sights or the people. Lilith was the one who dealt with them. Every single one of those sinners was just a reminder of what he had done, a never ending punishment. He preferred avoiding it all together. The last thing he ever wanted was to see how his gift of free will was abused by so many.

But that didn’t matter now. As much as he hated the people and the crowds, he was going to follow this stupid string until he found it’s end. 

—-------------------------

A few days passed. 

Pentagram city couldn’t be that big, and yet here he was, still searching. He did rest. Occasionally. Sometimes. Probably not enough. The only reason he did rest as much as he did was… well, he wanted to be at his best when he did finally find the end of his string. He wanted to make a good impression!

He narrowed it down to the edge of the city, a more rundown section where new sinners tended to congregate.

So they had to be new to hell. That's why his string suddenly changed color. They must have been a human who recently died and manifested here. He… wasn’t sure how he felt about it. What if she was just as awful as every other sinner? He feared that the most, that he was destined for some terrible person, that he didn’t deserve someone actually nice…

His string went straight down to an alley below. He could avoid the crowd, thank God. He swept down into the alley, feet landing with a quiet clack against the cracked concrete. He withdrew his wings, glancing around his filthy surroundings with a scowl of disgust. Surely there wasn’t anyone lounging in the muck here, right. But no, there was someone here, a sinner in tattered clothes, standing with their back pressed against the brick wall, head bowed as they took deep breaths, like they were calming themself down from something. 

A frown tugged at his lips. He glanced down at his hand, eyes tracing the vibrant red string towards this sinner, the other end tied around their finger.

It was them. 

He wasn’t entirely sure when he started walking towards them, just knew when his hand clasped around theirs. They jumped, trying to pull away at the sudden contact until their eyes met. They almost immediately relaxed, eyes widening with understanding as they gazed down at their clasped hands, then back up into his eyes. It was odd. No one had looked up at him since Charlie was still young.

He was usually better with words. They would normally come so easily to him, even if they may not always be the best or a bit rambling. But for once in his life, he wasn't sure what to say.

“Hi.” They said, smiling up at him ever so sweetly.

“Hey.” He smiled back, a flush rising in his cheeks. “What, um, brings you… here.” He motioned vaguely to the filthy alley with a slight frown, but the smile returned when he looked down at them.

“Ah, you know, just trying to collect myself and not freak out.” They said with her cheery voice, chuckling a little at themself. “I, uh, I never really thought I'd end up down here. I guess I thought sometimes I'd end up in hell, but honestly I just didn't think about it. But it's okay! I think I get it now.”

He tilted his head slightly in confusion, but that giddy smile never did leave his face. “What do you mean? You know why you’re down here?”

They nodded.

“Yep! I'm here to be with you! That must be it!”

Warmth didn’t bloom in his chest like he's felt in other circumstances. No, it was more like being hit by a freight train face first. In an instant he had them in his arms, savoring their surprised giggle as he squeezed them tight, burying his face in their hair. They happily hugged back. 

It could have been only a moment, it could have been hours, but he didn’t care. He didn’t dare let them go until he was sure this wasn't some sort of trick or dream. Only when he was satisfied did he pull away, eyes looking over them intently, committing every contour of their face to memory, every scratch, every scar, those sparkling eyes, that smile sweeter than apple pie. Shit, they really were perfect for him, weren't they? They could confess to murder and he would forgive them instantly.

“My name's Y/N, by the way.” 

Even their name was perfect.

“Lucifer.”

“Like the devil Lucifer?” They didn't even look that perturbed, just curious. He chuckled and gave a little bow. 

“The one and only. Come on, let's get you cleaned up.”

‐—-------------------

It was strange, having someone in his quarters again, sitting in bed with the sound of the shower running in the back. It felt… right. It was proper he wasn’t alone anymore. How things were meant to be. Nice.

He sat up straighter when he heard the shower turn off. A few long minutes passed before she came out, dressed in a simple white sundress he provided. He wasn’t very good at making clothes, he preferred creating animals and things similar, but at the very least it looked like it fit, accentuating her sweet smile. 

He could feel his cheeks heating up, but he ignored it in favor of exaggerating the smile she brought to his face.

She sat on the edge of the bed next to him, running her fingers through the damp strands of her hair.

“Well…” She started, but wasn't really sure what to say, voice drifting off. She stared at her feet, unsure what else to do. 

He tilted his head to the side, just watching her for a moment. He reached out for her, hesitating for a moment before cupping her cheek, guiding her head to turn towards him. He just… he needed to see her eyes again. He needed to be sure she's real and in front of him and this wasn't some sort of trick. 

She smiled at him and leaned into his hand. His heart melted.

“I didn't think I'd ever find my soulmate.” She admitted in a whisper. “My string was always gray before, so I thought…” She trailed off and shrugged. He nodded his understanding.

“Yeah, me too. ‘Sorta assumed I just didn't have one since I wasn't human. I think it's more common for demons and angels to have gray strings.” His brows furrowed in thought, but whatever was running through his mind vanished as she turned her head to kiss the palm of his hand.

“... what do we do now?” She asked.

He gulped and shook his head, gathering his thoughts.

“I suppose I should introduce you to my daughter.”

#reader insert #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer magne #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel reader insert #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #gray dyed red #soulmate au #hazbin hotel soulmate au

[personasintro]

Employed 01 | jjk

⏤𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴; Being independent while living the harsh reality of adulthood is sparked by arrogance in the form of the most infuriating man you've ever met.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: ceo!jungkook x reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: explicit language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 16.4k+

banner by: @archivedkookie // thank you so much again for making this for me! ♡

index (to be added)

El: I think I'm drunk again

"think or know?"

El: know then

El: turns out I didn't have sex yesterday 

El: god I already masturbated twice today!!!

You could survive without that information, a snicker leaving your mouth at your best friend's messages. She had a date yesterday. Well, you're not sure if it was officially a date or she just hung out with one of her co-workers she's been flirting with for weeks now. 

Elaine broke up with her then boyfriend recently. This co-worker of hers has caught her eyes even when she was in a relationship (with a total douchebag). Not mentioning he's still in a relationship with his girlfriend. They're not on good terms either but still. It's complicated and who are you to judge?

"make it three then" 

El: it's not helping :/

"because he's all you're thinking about"

That one is true. He's been a topic number one in any of your conversations.

El: that's true lol

El: but I'm kinda scared to get involved with someone from my work

"I'm not surprised, it usually is like that"

"but look, you're never gonna find out if you don't try it"

While you're trying to be as supportive as a best friend can be, you do have your own opinion about her little shenanigans. But in the end, you do want her to be happy and not be depressed because of her two failed relationships from before. This guy at least seems to be treating her right and he's a proper gentleman. Not a red flag which cannot be said about the previous two ones. 

El: so you think I should give it a chance?

Jumping from one relationship to another is... you're not sure what to think of it. Everyone's different and you try to keep being open-minded. If he makes her happy and she wants to try it, why not? 

You know you would be more wary, especially after a heartbreak. You would focus on yourself first, recharge and regain self-love or whatever people do after a break-up. 

Before you can type your reply, another message pops up.

El: because he treats me right and everything's perfect... I'm just scared of that one fact of working together

"well working with friends or family never does any good, the same goes for relationships"

That's a fact. In most cases it's the worst anyone can do. 

"but try it if you feel like that's the right thing"

You're not one of those friends who give false hope. You're honest, try to be without getting too honest which could potentially hurt someone. Elaine is a wonderful woman. You've known her for years and have been best friends just as long. It's unfortunate the majority of your communication is done through messages and occasional video calls. Ever since you moved out of the country, you've been away from everyone. 

However, you knew what you would lose in order to pursue a different life you always wanted.

El: what about you tho? have you found yourself a job yet?

The question you've found unpleasant back home – and you still do. 

"no :("

El: don't worry! you just got there

El: I'm sure you'll find one soon x

Sighing, you wish Elaine's words would come true. Preferably very soon.

You send her a quick thank you with a heart emoji before someone slides onto the opposite seat. Met with a wide grin and crinkled eyes at the ends, your before neutral expression turns into a surprise and happiness. You didn't hear him coming!

"Hobi!" you greet him after not seeing his face for a few days.

He's been your friend for quite some time now. Actually, it's safe to say he's been a huge help ever since you decided to move here. It lasts until now and without his help, you're not sure if you would've ever had the guts to leave the comfort of familiarity of your country.

"Hey," he greets, laughing a little as the air becomes more cheerful. Or maybe it's only you and the fact he's no stranger to you. 

Having prying eyes on you almost all the time is still a little uncomfortable. As if they knew you're a foreigner right out of the bat.

Hoseok chose to meet up at his favorite place. He's a little late, but you don't have the heart to scold him for it. You know it's only your anxiety of having to be here alone, feeling strangers' eyes on you. Luckily, you did the typical trick. Staring into your phone, minding your business and trying to act unbothered. 

"Have you ordered anything yet?"

"Ah, no," you shake your head, "Was waiting for you."

You had to tell the older lady to give you more time since your friend should be arriving anytime soon. 

"Sorry for running late, traffic here is no joke." he apologizes, shrugging his overshirt as he hangs it over the bag of his stool.

"It's fine." you tell him, catching his amused expression which causes you to purse your lips. 

"No scolding?"

"I was about to but I changed my mind."

"Of course you were." he laughs.

Before another word can be uttered and a fit of giggles surround the round table, what you assume is the owner – the same lady that asked you for your order earlier – comes back with the same kind smile. Hoseok says both your orders, already knowing your usual choice since you're here the third time already. Like you said, it's his favorite place to eat. Korean barbecue is definitely worth every penny. 

"I didn't wanna tell you on the phone but–" He giggles when he notices your wary look. "You haven't found a job yet, right?" He makes sure.

For some reason, your cheeks heat up in guilt. Guilt from not being able to find out despite living here for two weeks. Okay, it might not be a long time but the whole process of finding a job is way harder. You've been through something similar back in home. Having to experience this all over again feels very saddening. You would lie if you told you haven't had any expectations. Of course, you know it's not going to be easy but still. You hoped it would be easier.

You're a little fucked up from the situation back home. The months you waited to get a job and then lose it in the span of one month. Wasn't your fault, but it still hurts though. 

Shortly said, you just can't allow yourself to experience that again. 

"No." you mumble, placing your elbow on the table as you prop your chin on your palm. 

"Perfect," he says, met with a raised brow from you. "I have a friend."

"Oh god."

"No, listen to me," he presses. 

Hoseok has a lot of friends. Different types of friends. While you haven't been able to meet most of them (which you're sure is not even possible since he's got a lot of them), you've heard of them. 

"He owns a company. A very prestigious one," 

That has your eyes widening.

"He's been looking for an assistant, told me about it when we went out for a whiskey."

"Since when do you drink whiskey?"

"Not the point," he grits, "Anyway, he just mentioned it very briefly but then an idea sparked when I was home. How did I not think of it sooner? Right, like–"

"Hobi." You motion for him to shorten it and to get to the fucking point. 

"Right," he laughs, "So–you should work for him."

You blink and stare, breathing out a chuckle. "Just like that?"

"Well, no." he frowns a little, "You should probably go to the interview–but honestly, you have nothing to be scared of."

"But assistant? What are the requirements? What about–"

"He's gonna tell you everything. We don't talk about work much and he only briefly mentioned looking for an assistant. But you're great and skillful. What else do you need to be an assistant?"

"I don't think it's that easy, Hobi. Especially if it's some big company like you said."

Hoseok leans back, shrugging. "He's my friend. He's gonna take you in." he promises and waves his hand, sending you a little assurement along with a wide supportive smile. 

You're not sure you're assured at all. But you have nothing to lose. You told Elaine to try it because else she wouldn't know. Even though this is not about a relationship at all, there's some similarity to the situation. 

And you're going to listen to your own advice.

Hoseok wasn't lying when he said about his friend's company. That alone made your stomach shrink with unease and the only thing that calmed you was the reminder of their friendship. Regardless of this successful friend of his and what he said about his business, you expected a decent and nice building. 

Not a freaking tallest and biggest building on a street full of companies. 

Holy shit. 

That's your first reaction you luckily keep to yourself while you stare at the tall building. Oh god. You're ten seconds from running away like a coward but you can't. You simply can't let a stupid stress affect you. This is a great opportunity for you. 

Plus, not to mention the lengths Hoseok went through to get you a chance to have an interview here. He talked to his friend because of you, purely because of that you can't disappoint him as well. 

Staring at the building, it screams of wealth even from its exterior. Is it stupid to say it kind of looks a little intimidating? Sure, your nerves could play a role in this as well. It looks like the entire building is covered in glass, in one you can't see through from the outside. Plus it looks super clean. 

Do they get it cleaned often? You laugh at your thoughts, releasing a breath you've been holding before you finally start walking toward the entrance. 

The only info Hoseok gave you was time and date. He told you there's nothing to worry about and you'll find your way around. Despite the lack of information, he tried to assure you. But walking up the stairs, you mentally curse at your friend. He might've done that because he didn't want you all stressed out, but it has a complete opposite effect.

So you remind yourself of his words of assurement and just go for it. 

The tall and huge door is automatic. Of course it is. It opens as soon as you're close enough, fast enough so you don't have to halt your steps which happens often with automatic doors. 

Scent of freshness and (novelty?) hits you pleasantly as soon as you're inside. It's everything you see in big movies. A lot of space, minimalistic but pretty interior. Everything is modern and even people working here are dressed elegantly, in dark blue color that is matched with white. 

"Miss? Where are you going?"

Almost jumping at the sudden presence beside you, you see a bulky man with a security tag attached to his elegant shirt. Even security has elegant attire? Holy fuck, Hoseok, where did you send me?

You're impressed, almost too impressed but that only sparks your stress even more. 

Especially when you see the man patiently waiting for your response. 

"Umm," Great. "I've got a job interview here?"

He scans you as if he's searching for any hints of lying. What is this? A fucking pentagon? 

"They'll give you directions at the reception desk. Please, continue past the detector." he says professionally, pointing at the detector system you've only seen at airports.

"Thank you." You try to send him a polite smile, your legs suddenly feeling a little wobbly in those heels. 

You chose an elegant outfit, a nice soft pink set with a touch of a few decent silver accessories. It's not too much but it screams of elegance which suits their theme. You paid extra attention to your make-up and hair, putting all your effort and not only because it distracted you today. 

The reception desk is at the very end, not hard to miss as a huge logo of the company is lit up and attached to the marble wall. There is a young woman aware of your presence immediately, welcoming you there before asking what you are looking for. If they're surprised to see you here, they don't show it as much. 

After explaining you're here for the job interview, she asks for your name and after she checks your information, she gives you directions to get there. There are a lot of employers, busy doing their job as some of them wait for an elevator. There are three of them! 

Other than that, nobody really pays you any attention as a silent chatter involving business resounds inside the elevator. Some of them get out sooner, some of them wait until it's their turn.

Number twelve lits up as a robotic voice informs you of the floor you situate. You get out, not quite sure where else to go as you look left and right. A little confused, the young receptionist hasn't offered any further information beside getting out on floor twelve. That's until you see a group of young females gathered on the left side of the building. Getting a feeling this is it, you walk toward them.

There is another receptionist desk, a few chairs and leather sofa in the hallway as all of them seem to be waiting. This is it.

"Welcome, miss. Are you here for the interview?" Someone asks, catching your attention as you notice another receptionist with the same attire like the one that greeted you earlier. 

This one has short hair, perfectly straightened and styled.

"Oh, hello. Yes I am." you respond lightly as she nods.

"Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. Can I offer you a glass of water?" she asks after she points toward the group of women that are waiting. 

"No, thank you." you smile, luckily finding yourself a free spot where you can sit down. 

It's interesting to see different types of interested parties. You notice how each of them are women and you wonder if that was a requirement or it's because of something else. 

Either way, they're all dressed perfectly and definitely put their best effort. Again, Hoseok said this is a good and big company, so it makes sense everyone probably wants to work here. It's not like you don't feel like you don't fit it, even though it's stupid and they most likely want this job just as much as you do. However, some of them look confident and determined to even be here. They came prepared. 

You purely judge it by their confidence that oozes out of them, without them having to talk at all. 

And then there's a few of them that look nervous, even though they try their best to hide it and match other's energy. 

As much as there's Hoseok enthusiasm about his friend giving you the job, nothing's sure and the huge queue just proves it.

You definitely feel like you could relate more to the latter. You're a little nervous and everyone's eyes are on the door when it gets open, another woman getting out of there. She greets the receptionist before walking away with confident steps, her heels clacking against the marble floor.

You gulp, curling your toes in your heels.

You sit there and wait. Not going to lie, you think about pulling out your phone and at least entertaining yourself with the device until it's your turn. However, no one seems to be doing that and you definitely don't want to give an impression that you don't want to be here. You can't be sure.

There are eyes everywhere, including cameras that you've noticed are in every corner. They don't miss anything. Every fuck up there possibly could be, they're going to see.

But it does make sense. They need to be protected.

One thing about you is that you don't like waiting. You can be patient but after a while you get bored. You've watched your surroundings for the past forty minutes – what else is there to do? 

Your boredom is bound to end eventually and when your name is called, you spring onto your feet. They must've sent your information to the receptionist on this floor, since she never asked for your name. But that's the least of your worries when you finally walk toward the other room. Too focused on not stumbling and doing something embarrassing, you focus on your steps until you get inside the room where everyone has been walking out of. 

It's huge.

This is no meeting room or room designed for job interviews. This is an office. A huge one with a freaking seating area. Your mouth is agape as you notice a similar design the whole building has. The only difference is the view over the entire city and little coziness this office has. It's slightly more personal without having any personal pictures or anything – at least that's what you've quickly caught onto. 

It's hard to navigate around the room, you're not sure where to go. 

"Are you going to come in or not?"

A deep voice resounds around the corner making your eyes widen and stomach shrink. Embarrassed of being called out at checking this place out and clearly not moving, you clear your throat and reach the corner.

A man. 

He stands behind a desk, eyes focused down as his fingers briefly touch the stack of paper spreaded on the dark oak desk.

Before you can utter a single word, politely greet whoever this man is, he speaks again.

"Are you mute?"

What the–

"No?" you almost scoff, frowning a little which causes him to finally lift his gaze up.

He stares you up and down, scoffing silently under his breath. His dark eyes are one of the first things you notice on him. Even from a distance, you can make out the dominance in them. He's tall and has broad shoulders which are definitely more defined in the white button-up. The black suit hugs his form perfectly, like it's been designed for him.

You're not stupid. This man is important. And young. He's too young to be the CEO. Don't they have someone on their team to do the job interviews anyway? Whoever he is, he's clearly confident and full of himself. Perhaps you're mistaken but well...

He cocks his brow at you, eyes motioning at the two chairs in front of his desk. He's telling you to get there and sit down. 

You listen, despite your eyes attached to his form as he no longer watches you. He sits down, making himself comfortable as he peeks into the papers. Your full name comes out of his mouth, reading it aloud as the question sits in the air for a moment.

"Yes, that's me." you jump in to answer, not wanting to make this any more awkward.

You're still slightly perplexed by the not so pleasant start. Suddenly, you understand why most of the women out there were nervous. 

While you sit down and have him right in front of you just a few feet away, you try not to stare too much. He is young. He could potentially be Hoseok's friend. 

"Have you brought any documents with you? CV? Documents of your skills and diplomas? Anything?"

Gulping, you nod before you pull out your finished CV that Hoseok has helped you with. 

He takes it from you, flipping through the pages as he stays quiet. His face is hard to read. A frown clouds most of his features and he looks stern. Too stern for such a young male.

He briefly glances at you, while you play with your nails out of his eyesight. God. What was that look for? You know you're not overly qualified and you haven't graduated from a prestigious school. Your hope of getting this job is slowly dying down as he remains quiet before he tosses the papers onto his desk.

He leans back, glancing somewhere above your head as he sighs. "Why do you think you're suitable for this position?"

Okay, you got this. Fuck, you hate this question. You need money, clearly.

"You know, most people don't even get a chance to get to the job interview stage. Not people with your CV and education history."

"Pardon?" Your response is immediate. With an edge to your tone.

However, he is unfazed. 

"Why are you here, Miss–" He stops before glancing at the papers again before saying your surname. 

This dude is fucking–

Forget he's the hottest piece of man you've ever seen. You can tell right out of bat he's arrogant, a little too arrogant. You know he probably has different types of people coming into his office, you're aware your education record isn't something mind-blowing... but he can still be polite and not so rude.

And before your attitude can come to the surface, you remind yourself why you're here.

You need this.

This is your chance.

You've been staying in your AirBnB ever since you came here. Since you have no job yet, you can't exactly rent any place. So you're paying for the apartment that's your temporary home with your saved up money. You need to find a job and then a place to live in as soon as possible. 

"My friend told me about this job. He knows the CEO. Maybe you could ask him, he probably knows of me."

He knows the CEO? Really, Y/N? You stupid–It makes you sound as if you're completely relying on your friend knowing the CEO. Which is not entirely true. Still, you chose your words diplomatically and maybe this man could change his attitude since you're coming from – is it an inner circle? – or in the worst case, he's–

"I'm the CEO."

Of course he is. 

Fuck. 

Isn't he too young to be running this place? 

"Oh," you mutter, "Well, Hoseok mentioned you're looking for an assistant and–"

"And you think just because you know my friend you're suitable for this position?"

"No!" you exclaim, maybe too loudly which has you shut your mouth immediately as a frown makes it onto your face. 

Minus the fact he called Hoseok his friend, when he's your friend too, he sounds almost amused and definitely rude. 

"I had people graduating from Harvard coming in here before you."

Congratulations, you mentally snark.

What does he want you to say? 

I'm sorry I wasn't rich and smart enough to graduate from Harvard? 

"All I meant was that Hoseok mentioned you're looking for an assistant and that I should try it," 

You completely miss out the part where Hoseok was entirely confident he's going to give you the job. From the looks of it, he's far from it. 

"I may not have the greatest experience in this field, or I haven't had the luck to have an outstanding education record, but I'm hard-working and I learn fast."

"Hard-working and learning fast is not enough." he informs you.

"What else is there to do to be an assistant?" you ask, your mouth shutting up once again when you see the look he gives you. Wow, he has a very intense glare. "I mean–what does it require?"

"A lot of things. Executive assistant does not only perform administrative tasks, but there's a lot of research and tasks beside it. Not to mention I need someone I can rely on whenever."

"I'm a reliable person."

"Hoseok's word is not enough." he grits through his teeth.

You frown again, starting to get pissed off at his attitude. "I can prove it to you."

"Why should I give you a chance?"

"So I can prove it to you?" you deadpan, his glare dropping as he scoffs.

"You're awful at answering questions." he notes, mumbling under his breath almost as if it's not aimed for your ears.

But you hear him regardless, pressing your lips together as you straighten yourself. 

There's silence that follows. It lasts long, almost too long so you consider walking out of here. His phone vibrates as he reaches toward the device and sighs eventually. 

He puts his phone to his ear, answering with a dry Yes.

He listens for a moment. Frowning as he leans against his chair and looks at the ceiling.

"Yes, she's here."

Hoseok.

He's calling him. 

That has your attention as the young male whose name remains unknown for now glances back at you. With the same stoic expression, of course.

"Ho–"

He sighs, pinches his brow. He's listening, rolling his eyes here and there while you find it amusing. Though you don't dare to smile or even give him some sort of reaction that he might see.

"You owe me." he grits before ending the call. 

He tosses the phone back where it was, not looking pleased at all.

"I'm doing this because Hoseok is my friend."

You stare, ignoring the way your chest clenches with sadness for some reason. Or maybe it's a disappointment and embarrassment. 

"You have five working days to show me your potential. If you mess up, you're out of here."

While your not old self would tell him (very happily) fuck you, you know this is your chance to prove more things and not just to others, but to yourself as well. Even having this company's name in your CV is going to be a major help. 

"Thank you." you tell him instead, standing up as he snatches your documents off his desk and hands it to you.

You snatch it back, offering him a tight smile when he glares at the obvious attitude. 

"Here's the contract. Read it, do not sign it yet. Just an idea of what's awaiting for you." he explains, standing up. 

You feel like nothing can prepare you for what's awaiting for you. 

"I'll make sure you're not going to regret it. I mean it–I know I'm not the perfect candidate to work in your company, but I'll prove to you with my hard work that I could be. And not only because of Hoseok."

He stays silent, simply watching you. Not looking sold at all. 

But you nudge your ego away and accept the challenge this man might be. 

"Thank you again, Mr..."

His jaw clenches. 

"Jeon."

The familiar beeping he has grown used to and is a part of his everyday life, rings around his silent office. It rips his attention off the papers in front of him. With a single click, he accepts the call from the front desk on this floor.

"Mr. Jeon, I'm sorry to disturb you but you've got a visitor." The feminine voice that is somehow a part of his everyday life as well resounds. 

Brows pinching together, he stares at the phone with a slightly irritated look. Everyone knows they should not disturb him when he's in the middle of reviewing potential deals. He likes to stay focused. And even Soyeon's automatic apology did nothing.

"I don't have any visits scheduled." he responds, unimpressed and indeed bothered by the interruption. 

The young woman that has been working for him almost since the very beginning keeps herself composed, not showing how intimidated she is by him. 

"I'm aware, sir. But he's saying he's your friend?"

"My friend?" he deadpans. 

There's only one person who could come unannounced, enough to disturb him from–

"Jung Hoseok?" she asks unsurely.

Of course it's Jung Hoseok. 

No one barely comes here for visits. Everyone – and by that he means everyone that knows him personally or professionally – knows he doesn't appreciate visits. Not before his lunch and not even after. He's here to work. 

A sigh makes it past his lips as he scratches his eyebrow. "Send him in."

Despite the lack of visits he barely gets – just because he doesn't want them – he still made sure people that know him are on the list. In case there is some kind of emergency and for some reason can't be contacted. You never know. He takes precautions. 

Jung Hoseok is one of those people on the list. 

But the difference is no one really abuses that kind of privilege that gets him through security. Basically gives him a free pass around the building. 

"I get it from here, sweetheart. Thank you. He's my friend." He hears from behind the door, a chuckle of disbelief makes it out of his lips before his office door is open.

His receptionist stutters over her words but before she can make a proper sentence, his not by much older friend closes the door with a thud. Arms outstretched and wide grin, he stares at him unimpressed. 

"Surprise!" Hoseok chimes, striding toward his desk as if he owns this place.

Even with his presence here, Hoseok doesn't come here often. In fact, he can't remember when was the last time his friend visited him here. But out of people coming here unannounced, Hoseok makes the most sense. 

It can be seen he's not here often, momentarily ripping his gaze off the frowning and intimidating CEO to admire the spacious office. 

"Indeed," he mutters.

"Oh, come on. At least look like you're happy to see me!"

"Why pretend?" he simply asks, the older pursing his lips as he rolls his eyes. "Is there a reason for your... surprising visit?"

"Of course there is," he confirms, slouching himself in one of the chairs. He sighs in content, a look of surprise at how comfortable that chair is. "Alright, I'm sorry for popping in just like that–but I was around and since you barely answer my calls–"

"I'm busy."

"I know you're, Mr. CEO."

He rolls his eyes at Hoseok.

"So I came to you."

"Why? We saw each other last week."

"I'm gonna ignore that comment," he remarks, causing the younger one to shrug. "Anyway. I thought this would be better to discuss in person."

He sighs, leaning against his chair. "Just spit it out. I'm really busy."

"Okay," he says, propping his ankle against his knee as he shakes his foot. A habit of his friend that he noticed a long time ago. "When we were hanging out, you mentioned something about being in need of an assistant."

"What? You wanna be my assistant?" he jokes, amused by the idea. 

Hoseok rolls his eyes and almost flips him off. But then he remembers his visit here has a purpose. He would rather not risk anything. 

"No, Jungkook. I do not want to be your assistant," he emphasizes, causing his lips to curl into an amused grin. "But I know someone that might wanna."

"Hoseok," Jungkook sighs, "I don't want any of your–whoever that might be–in my company."

"What does that mean?" he gasps.

"Your choice of friends or people you know are... questionable."

"Okay, that's actually very rude!" 

Jungkook shrugs. "It's true."

"How did you know I'm talking about my friend?"

"I didn't, I just called them that to keep it respectful."

"It's not one of my hook-ups!"

"Spit it out. I don't have time for this nonsense." Jungkook sighs, staring at the ceiling. Hoseok is really testing his patience. He's hungry and with a lot of work in front of him.

"My friend moved here recently and has been searching for a job. I thought you could give her a chance, I can totally vouch for her."

Jungkook blinks at the ceiling, staring down at his friend without having to move. "What this friend of yours accomplished?"

Hoseok's eyes widen and he almost stutters. "What do you–"

"Her skills? Education?"

Hoseok is the one who just blinks as Jungkook sits up straight with again, unimpressed look. "I'm not employing just anyone here, Hoseok. This is a successful company for a reason."

"Well–I don't know about any of that but I know she's hard-working and–"

"You don't know and you're here asking me to give her a job?"

"I'm asking you to give her a chance." Hoseok corrects.

"Hoseok, you're my friend–I...I don't hate you–" Hoseok glares at him. "But no."

"Jungkook!" he whines.

"I don't know this person and from the looks of it, you don't know either."

"Just because I don't know her entire resume doesn't mean she's a stranger. Just FYI–" He frowns, "But please. Just give her a chance. I need your help."

Jungkook lifts a brow. 

"You know I never ask you for anything."

That one's true. 

Whatever power Jungkook has in his young age – the age of twenty-eight – Hoseok has never asked him for anything. Let alone use him. He's the most valuable friend he has. Not that he would ever say it out loud. Not in usual situations anyway. Hoseok is aware of that.

"She's been trying to get a job ever since she came here. She lives in–"

"I don't care," he interrupts, scratching his forehead as he tries to soothe the wrinkles there that are caused by frowning. "She probably can't find a job because she's just not... good."

"That's not true," Hoseok quickly jumps to remark. "You know how hard it is to find a job nowadays."

It's silent for a few moments.

"Please."

"Don't." Jungkook stops him, closing his eyes.

"Just give her a chance."

He already curses himself mentally for this. Perhaps he feels a little embarrassed for Hoseok.

"Fine."

He cringes when he hears a loud squeal of excitement.

"Just one interview. That's all I can promise you." he informs him firmly.

"Thank you!" Hoseok sits up straight, his sneakers thumping against the floor. 

"Now go, I've got to work."

He doesn't argue, right on his feet as he can't stop grinning at the annoyed man. 

"Soyeon will give you further information." he mumbles under his breath.

"Great! Well, I would ask anyway."

Of course he would. 

"Don't forget to eat."

"Okay, get out now." Jungkook mumbles quickly, ignoring the teasing smirk from his friend as he strides out of his office confidently.

Hoseok is at your place. If that can be called that.

You're only sure of that because one of the lights stopped working, the bulb burned out. Rather than having to deal with any additional expenses, because you're never too sure and it's better to be safe than sorry, you asked Hoseok if he could come today and change it.

Plus, you need someone to help you with the stress you know your job interview would bring you. And you were goddamn right.

However, that's not the only thing you're bringing with yourself.

Since you gave Hoseok the second card and code to your temporary home, you knew he would be there already. You told him to wait up for you, way before you had the opportunity to meet his friend.

That man can't be anyone's friend. You doubt it.

The moment you get your shoes off and meet Hoseok's sheepish grin, he has no time to react as you reach for one of the cushions and start hitting him repeatedly. He squeals as if his life depends on it, though no real damage is done as your frustration takes over.

"That. Was. Fucking. Awful!" You say with each hit, finally getting the cushion snatched from you as he tosses it back onto the couch behind you.

"What happened?"

Glaring at him, you see it in his eyes. The hidden glints of knowing, even the tiniest tint of apology. 

"Why didn't you tell me he's fucking arrogant and rude?"

His cheeks heaten up as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "He can be rough around the edges, but he's not that bad."

"No!" you yell, "He's even worse!"

"Okay, let's sit down and talk." he tries, giggling nervously as he leads you to sit down.

You do, huffing out as you cross your arms over your chest. The feeling of embarrassment and close to humiliation keeps coming back every time you think about the entire moment you spent in that building. You've never felt more like shit before. He made you question your abilities and skills, judged you by your resume within seconds. He made you feel like you're nothing.

Not mentioning he's not interested in hiring you at all. He made sure to let you know that. 

"Y/N, come on..." Hoseok speaks after a moment, softly and sorry just as he looks.

"Why didn't you tell me? I came there and–" You don't bring yourself to say how hopeful you were when coming there, despite being nervous. "You promised me it's going to be okay." you add way quieter, embarrassed to admit it out loud. 

It sounds childish but Hoseok was the one who sparked hope and confidence in you. He assured you everything is going to work out. Of course you knew it couldn't be all true. There is always a space for failure or something not going according to plan, but this? This is your worst experience in months. Definitely takes the cake for the worst experience here in Seoul. 

"I'm sorry," You hear, his features softening as he squeezes your forearm. "I knew if i told you how he can be, you wouldn't go there. I didn't want you to miss this opportunity."

"What opportunity?" you scoff. 

While you realize he wanted to help, what's the purpose of it if his friend isn't exactly one that wants to help?

"He made me feel stupid."

"No," Hoseok argues, earning a glare from you. He wasn't even there! How can he argue about that? "He's just very selective with his staff."

"Oh, trust me, I figured. I mean, he wasn't exactly secretive about that."

Hoseok nervously laughs and rubs your arms. "But besides that, how did it go?"

"I–" you stop, thinking for a moment. "I don't know if it was me or you, but somehow I convinced him to let me prove myself."

"Y/N, that's amazing!" Hoseok yells excitedly, receiving a pointed look from you.

"I mean... it's worth a shot," you mutter, "But I feel like I'm gonna get fired before stepping in there."

"Listen to me," Hoseok says, scooting closer. Straightening himself, he makes sure you see his persistent features and the seriousness behind them. "You're gonna rock it there. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Jungkook can be difficult and I can't promise he's going to be all sweet, but if you'll do your job well then everything's gonna be fine. Trust yourself."

"Hobi, I trusted myself and coming back from there, I feel like utter shit."

"Come on now..."

"No, you didn't see how he looked at me. He told me people that graduated from Harvard come there looking for a job. Do you get it? Harvard. Or a fucking Yale!"

"Yeah..." he mumbles, "I told you he's successful. So is his company."

"No shit."

Hoseok chuckles, "That doesn't change the fact that you're good. You'll get better."

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you feel panic arising at the thought of going back there. You don't have a choice though. You can't live here for any longer and you need a job desperately. 

"You're the only one that thinks this. And sorry, but that's not enough."

What you mean is that it won't affect his friend's decision in any way. Hoseok is no help at the moment. He got you the job interview which of course has helped, and you will let him know that as soon as your panic fades away a bit. But from now on, it's just you. 

You'll need to prove yourself.

To wipe that arrogant look from Jeon's face.

You were up for a challenge, but this one seems to be the biggest yet. 

Hoseok laughs at your words, knowing very well what you mean. Trying to light up the mood, he pokes your side with his elbow. "I'll beat him up if he's gonna treat you wrong."

"Sorry but from the looks of it, it seems like you're the one who would get his ass beaten."

Snickering at Hoseok's loud gasp – the one you know its purpose is to lighten up the mood once again – you can admit that out loud. The arrogant prick has muscles on him. You could see it from behind that desk alone.

"I'm prepared to take the risks from you." he jokes, teasing you.

"Oh, shut up!"

He laughs loudly, the ringing sound causing your lips to twitch. All the amusement is gone as his face pops up in front of you again. So are you reminded of the negative experience you unfortunately went through not even an hour ago. 

"No offense to your friend, but he's a fucking asshole." you spit, not even thinking of how Hoseok can feel about you cursing at his supposedly friend. You should've been more considerate but rather than being met with offended Hoseok, you hear his laugh again.

"Well, sorry to say this but you need this asshole."

The worst part of it is that he's absolutely right.

You made sure no disaster would happen from the beginning. Like for example, waking up late on your first day of work. Just to be safe, you set up around four alarms to make sure you won't be late.

Besides not eating anything from all the nerves, you've received an encouraging message from Hoseok who puts a lot of faith in you. At least someone does. You certainly stopped the moment you met Mr. Jeon.

Or Jungkook. Like Hoseok calls him.

It feels weird to put a proper name on him. First name, is what you mean. It's weird to even call him by it in your head. There's undeniable respect (or a fear) you have of him. Even by talking to him for a few minutes, it seems like he's going to pop up the moment you call him by his first name in your mind. 

With an empty stomach, minus the glass of water you gulped down before leaving, you get on your way to Jeon Investments Inc. The ride in a cab is full of anxiety and no matter how many times you try to steady your breathing, you feel like you're on the verge of a panic attack. Even the poor driver seems to be concerned as he asks you if you're okay. 

Turns out, after you read the contract once you found the courage, there might be a lot of things you're not prepared for. Minus all the professional terms and conditions you're supposed to comply with, you feel lost. Utterly lost. And fucked.

You've got many questions. Once you ask, you know you will come out as inexperienced and even dumb. Being an assistant is not just taking calls and dealing with emails. That much you understood after reading the ten pages of a very professionally and legally written contract. 

There is so much expected from you and being truthfully honest, you're not sure if you can make it. 

Curiosity got the best of you and after gulping down a whole glass of beer – let's ignore the fact you bought it to yourself even despite your financial state – you of course, googled your boss. Can you even call him that yet? Is he officially your boss? No contract has been signed. Mr. Jeon made sure of it. 

There are many articles about Jeon Jungkook. Most of it is just boring and professional stuff. It contains the same information – and there are not that many to begin with – but from the looks of it, it seems like Mr. Jeon is one lucky fucker. Has been born into a wealthy family and like in the famous books and movies, has inherited the family company. The man is practically swallowed in money.

He's successful. And well known amongst business people. Surely, he's no stranger in this particular circle of people.

But at least this is different from all the books and money. Because even though he's successful and has many official photos from different events, he's no celebrity. His life is purely private and no one digs in it. Which is probably for the best for him. This man is practically mysterious.

You're reminded by your conversation with Hoseok after you calmed down after your breakdown. 

"How did you even meet a guy like him?"

"Jungkook? Ah, I've known him since he was a kid. You could say we're a distant family."

"What?!" You screeched at the thought of it. And you have no idea why. 

How did you find out about it only now?

"Well, my great aunt actually married Jungkook's mom's cousin?" He questioned almost unsurely as he frowned in thought before he nodded. "Yeah. It's a little mixed up and we're not really blood related but yeah."

Thinking about it now, it makes sense. 

Where else would Hoseok meet someone like him? Without a doubt, he must've attended some private college and surely, all types of schools before that. God, he's definitely one of those people that were in a private daycare! You can only assume and you don't want to put any stereotypes on him, but based on what you know about him, he lives a different life than you and most people for sure. 

Who owns millions worth company at the age of––How old is he? 

That's something you forgot to ask Hoseok. 

The cab ride is awfully fast. Which you should be glad for. You're ten minutes earlier which is definitely better than being late. Plus, it will take you some time to get to the top floor. Especially if you'll have to go through the same process with security like before.

You do. 

The security makes you do the same routine like you had to go through when you first got here. It is their job and you fully understand that, though you're a little annoyed when they eye you as if you're carrying a gun underneath all your clothing. After all of that is done and you do have to inform your arrival at the front desk, you're finally allowed to go on the lift. 

You're not even sure if you work at the same floor where Mr. Jeon is, but guess you will find out. Despite your inner nerves and anxiety crawling up your throat, you try to appear confident as if you're not ten seconds from a mental breakdown. 

Your presence is luckily ignored, everyone seems to be on their way to work as most of them exchange greetings. Since you don't know anyone and you're not familiar with any of their faces, you remain silent unless you share eye contact with someone. You have no problem politely greeting anyone. It does put you a little at ease when most employees give you the tiniest tilt of a smile. 

The floor that you're slightly familiar with is less empty than you remember it to be, but there are still a few people walking down the halls. Getting to the front desk, you wait up there when you find it empty. Not trying to get nervous because of it, you keep looking around. You definitely look out of place. No doubt there. 

Someone gets out of the backroom and the female you're already familiar with, gets behind the desk. It doesn't take too long for her to notice you and when her eyes fall upon you, you make sure to greet her and explain why you are here. 

You're not sure if she's informed of your purpose here but she nods regardless.

"Mr. Jeon is not expected to arrive for the next hour. But that doesn't concern you, at least not now. First, we have to give you an attire."

Oh, that's right. 

Everyone has a certain dress code and since you haven't received any clothes, or instruction what to wear, you wore something work appropriate. Something similar you wore to the job interview.

"Come with me." she says with a little smile, motioning you to follow her as she leads you down the hall. 

She stops, pulling out a card from her pocket as she attaches it to the scanner. 

Opening one of the doors that is similar to the next dozen ones you've passed by, you walk inside. It's a small sized room, compared to the big halls and enormous office you were interviewed in. There's nothing special about it, though you wonder what this room is for. Besides a transparent circle shaped glass table and tall sized dressers, there's not much in here. 

Still, the room is designed well and goes with the rest of the company's aesthetic. In the corner you notice a small kitchen cabinet. There is a coffee machine and a table next to the cabinet with two stools. It seems like a breakroom but you're not sure. It seems... small compared to what this company is. 

The drawer being open is heard as the female that is yet to be introduced to you, asks your size. You answer her and watch in awe as she pulls out clothing. 

"Do you prefer pants or a skirt?"

A little taken aback, you look at her and notice her wearing a skirt. Well, you did shave your legs. "Skirt." you respond before thinking it through. 

"You can wear whatever is more comfortable to you. Mr. Jeon isn't too stern about women wearing skirts and it's completely up to us. Of course, you can change it whenever you want. You don't have to wear skirts all the time," she explains as she sets the pile of clothing that matches everyone's attire on the glass table. 

"You can wear your set of clothes too, they don't have to be company's. Some employees prefer wearing this since it saves money. But you're free to buy and wear your own clothes as long as it meets our dress code. Nothing too revealing and in the dark colors, so black or dark blue,"

You try to give attention to every word she says and you desperately let too much information sink in. Her mouth just won't stop.

"The heels you've on are fine. That isn't provided by the company, though we do have some emergency options in the dresser there," She points at one of the dressers. "You buy your own heels, that is something the company gives you money for every two months. It's added as an extra in your paycheck."

Luxury. 

"This room is not an official break room. That's somewhere else, I can take you there," She says when she glances at her watch. "This is mainly just an emergency room when you need to change clothes. It's almost like a storage room. But you can come here and make yourself coffee. I prefer to do that sometimes because it's close to my desk and it's less crowded. No one really comes in here. It's not used as much."

You nod as she glances around.

"The windows are tinted, so no one can see inside. So don't worry about the lack of curtains. You can change your clothes here, it's safe."

"Thank you."

"Very well then. I'll let you get changed. You can put your clothes back in that dresser in the corner and get them back when you clock off."

"Okay, thank you."

And with that, she spins on her heels and walks out of the room. She closes the door after her to give you some privacy. Not wasting any time, you quickly change your clothes and do everything based on what information she told you. The clothes fit and surprisingly, it's very comfortable as well. 

Your hands caress the material of your skirt and without doubt, it's clearly expensive.

Adjusting your hair, you walk out of the room to find her waiting for you. Once she sees you, she wastes zero time and starts leading you elsewhere. You have a lot to catch on.

She briefly starts pointing at the countless doors, explaining what's behind them. As much as you listen to her and try to remember everything she's saying, there's no way you will remember all of it by the time she's done. 

Passing through the glassed big room with a long table and dozens of chairs, she introduces it as one of the meeting rooms. 

"It's the most used one. Big meetings and contracts are signed there." 

There is also a big projector screen on one side of the wall with the greatest view of the city. 

She points to restrooms, not wasting time in going in there as she reminds you there's not much time. 

This girl is like a robot. She says everything fast and there's no hint of doubt or anything. You wonder how long it took her to learn everything. There really is no way someone is able to know all of this in a day. But rather than being met with any sign of empathy, she keeps showing you around and throwing new information on you from every side. 

"As you might have noticed, I work at the front desk on this floor. We will mainly work together, but your job as an assistant is closer to Mr. Jeon. Whatever you will have to deal with and prepare, I will inform you about. It's your job to make sure it runs smoothly."

She says as you follow behind her, trying to match her fast and long strides. 

Oh god, you can't do this. And you're not talking about walking fast in high heels. 

"Now this," she says, close to her desk and across from Mr. Jeon's office, before she opens the door. "is your office."

You both walk inside. Immediately met with the luxurious interior, you stare at the beige and goldish furniture that despite the color, it all seems minimalistic and clean. The entire room smells nice, and is definitely cleaner thoroughly. There's a white desk and behind it is the entire wall of long shelves with binders sorted most likely alphabetically. Even the shelves are backlit with LED lights. Since the entire building is covered in windows, there is an amazing view on your right side as you stand in front of the desk. 

"This will be your workplace. You will handle all calls, emails and everything of that sort here. Of course, you will be required to move around the building, so this place is mostly for you to handle the things where you need some peace and quiet."

"Wow," you manage to say. "This office is beautiful."

There are even nice plants in matching pots that make this place more alive.

"It sure is," she hums, "I don't think you will use it that much though."

You look at her a little confusingly. "Well, it's mainly for those calls and emails. You have tons of other work to do."

You don't get the courage to ask for more information. At least not now when you barely have enough time to blink.

"Follow me."

She leads you further down the hall, knowing every corner like the back of her hand as she greets passing by coworkers automatically. Some of them steal a curious look at you, but their prying eyes are long forgotten when your focus is elsewhere. 

"Saja," The woman calls out, stopping between the huge door frame. 

Across her shoulder, you notice a spacious room with multiple tables and stools around them. This has to be the break room she told you about before. The scent of morning coffee mixed with freshness hits your nose, the freshness that floats in the air through the entire building. 

One of the employees turns around, her gaze falling on her colleague shortly after as she excuses herself and walks up to the two of you. You notice she looks at you for a short period, mainly keeping her focus on the woman in front of you.

"Could you please show–I'm sorry, what was your name again?" she asks, glancing across her shoulder as her apologetic eyes fall down on you.

Ignoring the pinch of embarrassment, your name fills the short silence that is shared between the three of you. 

"You don't mind me calling you by your first name?" she assures.

"No, that's fine." you respond, hoping all of you can be at least friendly with each other. She did call the other woman by her first name. 

"Great," she takes a breath as she turns back facing – was it Saja? "I need you to explain to Y/N what's expected from her, especially today. I showed her around, so I hope–" She glances back at you, "You slightly know your way around."

Saja nods, clearly knowing this beforehand because her reaction is not full of surprise. In fact, there's zero surprise.

"She's your responsibility right now," She reminds her and even though Saja nods, you see her brows slightly raised in a mere annoyance. "Don't forget, Mr. Jeon expects everything to run smoothly."

"Of course." she says.

The woman that has shown you around turns to you, her lips close to a soft smile but her mind seems to be elsewhere. Clearly she's rushing to go back to work, at least you assume that is the reason for her abruptness. When she glances at her watch, it confirms your suspicion. 

"Well, good luck on your first day."

"Thanks–" You stop, giving her a questioning look when you realize you don't know her name. She hasn't introduced herself to you.

Whether the realization hits her at the lack of introduction on her side, she doesn't show it and offers you a simple answer.

"Soyeon."

"Thank you, Soyeon."

"Just listen to Saja here, she will explain the rest to you. And don't stress too much."

That's easier said than done. 

"Any advice?" you ask, chuckling nervously as she gives you a sympathetic look.

"Don't mess up."

Your mouth falling open and a total despair dominating your features, you watch Soyeon wave at you before she scurries away. You swear your heart just dropped and the stress of not being able to do this comes up to you in a bigger intensity. 

Though you seem panicked and not present, you do notice Saja's eyes scanning you from head to toe as she clears her throat. Looking at her, she motions you to join her in the room. Ignoring all eyes on you, you focus on her as she leads you toward the kitchen counter. 

"Mr. Jeon comes at half past eight every morning. Occasionally an hour earlier, so you should always be prepared for that just in case,"

What are you supposed to do? Spread a red carpet for him?

"By the time he comes here, he needs to have his schedule ready for him. You also do that a day prior, sending him his schedule electronically. But you still need to have everything ready the day he comes in, so this means all papers and other details that he needs to check over or have it prepared for him."

You nod along with her explanation as if you've done this before. 

"The assistant before you had that prepared for you, so you don't have to do it today. But it is expected of you to do that tomorrow and from now on,"

"Okay."

"Mr. Jeon doesn't like someone coming inside his office when he's not there. But as his assistant, he prefers all the documents to be on his desk, fully prepared and ready for him, when he gets there. That's where Soyeon comes, she's going to inform you Mr. Jeon entered his office and that's when you bring his morning coffee to him."

Is he a king or a boss?

Mr. Jeon seems like the biggest menace already. 

"Are you listening to me?" she frowns.

"I am, it's just too much information and I'm trying to process it."

You're not met with an ounce of empathy as she scowls at you as if you've done something wrong. That leaves you a little bitter but you don't let it show. You simply just stare at her, a knowing glint in your eyes when you're clearly not scared by her little attitude. What did she expect? Was she I Know It All when it was her first day?

This is insane. 

There's no way anyone that comes to work on their first day knows everything. Not to mention even if that person has experience in this field, every company is different. Every boss is different. Every boss requires something different.

"You better learn fast then. Mr. Jeon doesn't like slackers."

Frowning again, this time you can't fully hide it as you give her a look. Did she call you slacker just because you don't know everything? Which is absolutely fine because Hello, it's your first day here!

She glances at the wall to check the time on a big circled clock that is attached to the wall. Wow, even the clock looks fancy!

Oh shit, she's walking away. Quickly catching up to her, she starts showing you the coffee machine. Automatically, she prepares the cup and barely gives you any time to fully grasp what buttons she's pressing.

"Mr. Jeon should arrive any minute. Soyeon will let you know and you'll bring coffee to him. Along with the papers that are on your desk, I'll show you which ones."

"Won't the coffee turn cold?"

He's not here, he is supposed to arrive. You might not well Mr. Jeon well but he seems like the type to get annoyed when his coffee is cold. And judging by Saja's pause, he most likely is and your guess has been right. 

"If he comes later, you'll just make him another one." 

Mentally shaking your head at the ridiculously over some coffee, she motions for you to grab the cup as she ushers you out of the break room. You try not to spill it, matching her pace as she gets inside your now office in long strides as she opens the door fast and wide. You even passed Soyeon's reception desk but you were rushing to even notice her.

She tosses the stack of documents onto your paper. Ready to walk out, you stop her abruptly by quickly saying; "Thank you!"

She stops, barely giving you a glance across her shoulder as her light hair shines in the natural lightning. She styled it in a neat ponytail that makes her look super professional. 

And with that, she leaves with no words.

She lets the door open, not even closing it behind her as you stare at the door frame where she was standing just seconds ago. Blinking and swallowing down the irritation, you place the steaming hot coffee on your desk. Careful not to spill it over the documents. That would be truly a horror scenario. 

Sighing, you rub your forehead softly, trying not to rub off any make-up you put there. You tuck strands of hair behind your ears, cursing yourself for not putting it up. 

The beeping sound comes from the desk, causing you to jump in surprise as you look around. It's coming from an office phone and you quickly rush to it. You stare at the multiple buttons and touch screen. Logically, you pick up the actual phone and put it to your ear.

Before your mouth opens, Soyeon's voice already reaches your ears.

"Mr. Jeon just entered his office. You have his coffee ready?"

Glancing at the steaming hot coffee, you answer. "Yes."

"Perfect," she sighs, almost in relief. "Oh, not sure if Saja told you but there's an iPad in one of the drawers in your desk. We all have one. That's going to be your best friend from now on."

"Oh, okay, thank you."

In fact, Saja did not tell you about it.

You've got so many questions about the stupid iPad. What's it for? Why do you need to use it? But before you can actually ask anything, Soyeon tells you one last thing before ending the call.

"You better get him the coffee now. Mr. Jeon doesn't like waiting."

Mr. Jeon can go fuck himself. 

Still, you carefully grab the cup of coffee and the documents. Trying to balance it in both of your hands is no joke, but you somehow manage as you rush out of your office. Passing by Soyeon who's on the call, your eyes meet but there's no time for any sort of interaction besides that as you knock at Mr. Jeon's office door. 

"Just get in, he knows it's you." Soyeon whisper yells at you, a hand covering the phone's microphone.

Aren't you supposed to knock? Fuck, you're going to fuck this up so badly.

You can barely open the heavy door, but again, you surprise yourself by managing to do that without any damage done. Being back in this office brings memories but there's no time to dwell on it, not when you have a job to do. 

You see him.

The suit jacket being tossed over the couch that's pressed against the wall, right next to the massive windows. He stands tall, wearing a black button-up with slacks that match his suit jacket. You don't look too much, setting this down onto his desk just as he reaches it and sits behind it. 

When you look at him, you notice the look he gives you.

A look of disbelief that you're really here. He definitely thought you would give up.

But rather than give him that satisfaction – and the fact you need this job – you send him a smile. "Good morning."

You're pleased with yourself. Maybe you caught him off guard by having everything prepared for him. Well, they said he needs these two things from you today and you've managed to do it. That sounds like a success, right? 

"What is this?" he asks, ignoring your greeting like the arrogant prick he is.

He stares at the cup of coffee, annoyance overshadowing his entire features. And you thought he already looked annoyed.

"Your coffee?" you ask dumbly. 

Confused of why he's even asking, you notice his jaw clenching before he looks away to take a deep breath. Breath to regain patience. One he doesn't seem to have. 

"Is this a joke?"

Your eyes widen, a lump creating in your throat as you stare at his cold demeanor. "Pardon?"

"I don't drink macchiato."

How were you supposed to fucking know that? 

"I'm sorry–I didn't–"

You didn't make it. You didn't know.

But he's not interested in your apology. Nor witnessing you being a stuttering mess.

"Black. No sugar." Is all he says through clenched teeth.

Is this a fucking coffee shop?

His eyes are on your hands as you carefully grab the failed coffee. You have a feeling as if he's going to attack you any second and even such a detail like him glaring at your hands seems intimidating.

Sighing, he ignores your presence as he pulls the documents you brought him closer, opening one of them.

With a clenched jaw, you walk out of his office in complete embarrassment and anger. It feels like you're going to cry and you surprise yourself that you already feel this way. This day could not be worse. 

You've managed to already fail and fuck it up, right in front of Mr. Jeon. 

Luckily, Soyeon is not at her desk when you pass by. Finding the right way to a break room, there are less people there than before. Everyone has gone to work.

"What are you doing?" Soyeon suddenly walks in, an iPad in her hands. "Please don't tell me you haven't brought Mr. Jeon his coffee. I saw you walking in there."

Biting the inside of your cheek, you mutter through clenched teeth. "Wasn't the coffee he wanted."

"You got his coffee wrong?" she shrieks as if it's the end of the world.

Preventing yourself from rolling your eyes at the dramatics, you rather explain it. "I wasn't the one who made it. Saja did without telling me what coffee he drinks."

Soyeon stares and you don't know what to think of her look. Does she think you're accusing her that this is her fault? Well, it sort of is but they're colleagues. You don't want to make enemies here. So you nervously chuckle and quickly add;

"She probably got it mixed up."

Soyeon walks closer, helping you to navigate your way with the machine as you silently thank her. 

"She knows Mr. Jeon's coffee preference." Is all she says before she gives you a knowing look, walking away with a sympathetic scrunch of her brows. 

As the coffee pours and the sound of it fills the silence, you stare at the city view. 

She purposely gave you the wrong coffee.

Soyeon never specifically said Saja has set you up. She didn't directly hint at it and perhaps it's just been your rash judgment. Reminded again that this is only your first day here and you don't know anything or anyone, perhaps she made a mistake. That could be the case too. Though you feel bad for thinking the worst, which stems from the fact people are assholes, you focus on doing a good job from now on.

Not that the previous mistake was really your fault. 

You're that kind of person who tries to set the record straight no matter what. So this bothers you even now, but Mr. Jeon definitely doesn't care about any of your explanations. The warning look he gives you when you bring him the right coffee shuts you up immediately. 

Plus, it could all be just a mistake and you wouldn't want to make any accusations over a stupid coffee choice. You haven't graduated from Harvard as Mr. Jeon was so kind to remind you, but you're not dumb. You're not going to make enemies – nor you ever want to. But dealing with not so important things on your first day is not it. Even if your ego and tendency for justice is highly bruised. 

When you're back in your office, you try to make sense of all the papers and documents. There's no one exactly guiding you for it. Turns out the iPad that has been given you shows you Mr. Jeon's schedule. It must've been done by the previous assistant. Everything is neat and in order. You can do that.

You're in the middle of reviewing the device, trying to see how things were previously done so you could do your best, when your phone rings again. You click on the touch screen, staring wide-eyed when it comes to life and Soyeon's voice fills the silence.

"Hey, Mr. Jeon has a meeting at ten. Your presence there is needed."

It's almost embarrassing how your stomach churns at that information – and especially at the thought of it. Being in a meeting full of wealthy men? What are you supposed to do there?

"May I ask why?" you ask – nervously – because you're not sure what you're supposed to do there. 

You've read the contract. First of all, there is too much information for you to remember all of it. Accompanying Mr. Jeon to meetings among other things is one of them, that much you remember. 

"You won't accompany him to all his meetings. This one's big, so you're mostly there to take additional notes and whatever Mr. Jeon tells you."

Is he going to tell you? Because it seems like he expects you to know everything right off the bat. Though you keep that snarky remark to yourself. 

"You just need to be present and actually listen."

A few minutes later, after being navigated by Soyeon to the big meeting room she had shown you earlier, it turns out you were actually right. The room is filled with men wearing suits that scream rich and regardless of their clothing, you can tell they're important. Their age differs, it's a good mixture of young and elders. You do find some comfort when there are two other women there as well. Though, you have no idea what's their purpose or if they're one of the investors, the meeting happens after the official greeting.

They take turns. Setting up their presentations as they continue to speak about either theirs or someone else's business. You're not sure what you're supposed to take notes of. In fact, Mr. Jeon hasn't spoken to you since he successfully ignored your presence here.

He sits at the head of the long table, dark eyes settled on whoever is presenting, listening to them carefully. He has documents settled in front of him, which you soon figure out are the other investors' plans. Whatever they're presenting to him, he has in front of him on paper. You quickly note the nervousness that some men, older than Mr. Jeon for sure, show and truthfully, you don't blame them.

It feels weird to be seated behind the same table as them. You sit on the right side of Mr. Jeon. After a while, he leans back and makes himself more comfortable. Your attention is put on him, noticing he's been playing with a pen, twirling it between his long fingers. Are those rings? You quickly look away, cursing at yourself over and over again. 

Well, it's no secret this arrogant fucker is hot. You haven't had the chance to properly... look at him. The dominance oozes out of him which makes him slightly intimidating. Or maybe it's a mixture of his stern and cold exterior.

You're not a fan of him. That much is clear but none of that is important. You don't need to be one. You just need this job and stupidly said, the money that comes with it. If having to put up with someone full of himself like Mr. Jeon, you will have to endure it. At least until you'll be able to find another job. Having an experience in this company would open many doors for you for sure.

Look at you. 

Here you are thinking of this when no contract has been signed yet. 

A notification pops on your iPad and you stare for a moment before looking around. Are you allowed to look? It's not your personal iPad, it's not like whatever there is is your personal stuff, it must be work related. Before the screen can darken again, you check it. It's a file you open, trying to look as discrete as you can. Everyone's listening to Mr. Choi (if you remember the name in his presentation well), so you quickly take a peek. 

It's a file with everyone's name and the name of their business and presentation. Some of them are marked with a cross and others with a questioning mark. Frowning a little in confusion, you look around. Your breath hitches as soon as you find Mr. Jeon staring at you from your side. 

His stare is cold as ever, his eyes not faltering as you realize. He's the one who has sent you this. You're not sure why you send him a soft nod, silently telling him that you understood.

No reaction comes from him and his attention is directed back to the presenting man.

It continues like this. As the man comes and goes to switch places at the presenting spot and in front of a huge screen, Mr. Jeon slowly sends you his decisions. It's the only communication between you. 

As the meeting continues, you mostly take the notes for yourself as you separate the projects based on Mr. Jeon's previous marks. It's mostly to keep it more neat for you. You're not sure what you're supposed to do with it, but you'll find out from either Soyeon or Mr. Jeon himself. If not, you're just going to have to ask. You're not a fucking mind reader.

All presentations roughly take two hours, you swear your butt has no feeling from all the sitting. Your stomach is empty and it feels like you've lost your butt, it intensifies when you stand up. Mr. Jeon shakes his hand with the others, giving them one last greeting before he walks out of the room. You rush to catch up to him.

Your heels clink beside him as he's aware of your presence. He has to be. Yet he doesn't even spare you a glance as he stops at the elevator and clicks on the button. The elevator door opens immediately, a little surprised how hectic and fast everything seems, you take your place a little behind him.

"I want their presentations sorted out."

Oh my god.

Maybe this day is not going to be so bad after all. 

With a little smugness spreading in your chest, you confidently state; "I've already done that. I'll send it to you."

And then he glances behind him, right back at you as he makes sure you see the lift on his brow. Does he not believe you? Is he impressed? It's so hard to make out what he's thinking. He's definitely a very hard person to be around with. Hoseok deserves a golden medal for putting up with him. 

Irritated by his reaction, with swift taps to your screen, a sound of email being sent fills the elevator.  

You plaster a fake smile at him, making sure he sees it as you softly say. "Already done."

His features harden as he turns around. "I'm staying in for lunch today."

"Okay?" you ask unsurely.

You hear him taking a breath, but you can't see his face since he's not facing you. But he's undoubtedly irritated by your unprofessional response or at all, by your presence. 

"Have you not done any research?" he snarks.

Taken back for a second, you quickly shake yourself out of it. "I have not been informed about your lunch, no."

"Careful, Miss Y/L/N. You're already off to a bad start."

Before you can open your mouth and inform him that the bad start wasn't your fault at all, he doesn't seem to care as he stops you with his palm lifted in the air. His fingers slightly curled as his rings shine.

"This time make sure the coffee is black, or you'll be out of here faster than you can spell coffee."

Opening your mouth at the audacity, luckily for you he turns around right after as the elevator dings and informs you of the floor. He walks out and leaves, leaving you there with an open mouth and anger rising. Before the elevator door can close again, you quickly make it out of there and walk toward your office, hoping your walk doesn't come as aggressive as you feel.

Turns out Mr. Jeon also sends his preference for lunch and it's one of your duties to get it for him. Among all the information Soyeon has been able to give you, one of them is that you either have to get it ordered or get it personally. She explained it when you were on your way to get his freaking black coffee. It's dark just like his personality is.

You might not be an assistant before – you knew getting him things like this would be your responsibility and well, job as well. Mr. Jeon wants this and that. Mr. Jeon prefers it like this. Mr. Jeon doesn't like that.

It hasn't been even a full day of you working, yet you feel like you want to strangle that man. He has power, everything around you, in here, is his. He can afford getting this kind of service and you're paid for it.

Perhaps it's your own irritation that is simply caused by the mentioned man, but you feel more like his slave than an assistant. 

Luckily, he chose Italian for his lunch today and Soyeon helped you in showing his favorite restaurant. How she knows all of that about him is beyond you. Anyway, they could get it delivered just in time, so it's kind of your lucky day. All you have to do is to get downstairs and out of the building to take it. Plus bring it straight to his office, of course. 

"There are a few restaurants that take time to get it delivered, or sometimes they are so busy that they can't get it delivered in Mr. Jeon's scheduled lunch time. That's when you have to get it for him instead."

It's what she told you when she was clicking Mr. Jeon's order.

"There is also a car in the garage that's for this purpose. When you need to run some errands to be exact." 

That freaked you out. 

You're new. Not just here but in this city. You don't know its streets and even though you don't doubt the car has navigation, you're a little stressed about that. But can you show it? No. You don't need anyone doubting you.

Nerves are calmed down when you get your boss his lunch and everything runs smoothly. He gets his pasta and even though he barely acknowledges you, it's a success. 

One of the things you always worried about when coming to a new job is being left out. Being in a new collective is never easy and it can be nerve wrecking for obvious reasons. So when Soyeon suggests you join her for lunch, you relax and happily agree. 

It becomes your chance to meet – as you could say – your colleagues. They're welcoming and curious, asking you how you ended up in the city. For a moment it seems like you're a new attraction and despite all the attention on you, you prefer they engage you in their conversation. Even though you're the main topic of it. 

Saja is there as well. You still don't know what to think of the whole coffee situation, but she seems at ease and not looking as if she was aware of her mistake. 

"So, how do you like it here, newbie?" Max, the tallish dark haired guy with sharp eyes and prominent features asks.

"It's her first day." One of the women whose name you can't remember points out.

Max gives her a look, "So? She already feels about it somehow, right?"

He looks at you, and so do the rest of them as you're just trying to enjoy your beef broth. "It's been slightly stressful, but it's my first day. So I'm just trying to remember everything."

"Honestly, we all have been through that. First days are never easy." The woman speaks again as Soyeon shrugs while Saja reapplies her lip tint.

"Ah, the pressure to not fuck up is tough, right?" Max complains as if he's the one that's been through the most stressful day. Well, he might have. You never know.

"Max." Soyeon warns him.

"What? We're not in the company." He rolls his eyes which amuses you as Soyeon glares at his audacity to roll his eyes at her. 

"I can't imagine being Mr. Jeon's assistant. The pressure must be a lot." The woman says again, her short hair barely reaching the top of her shoulders as she pouts slightly. 

"What are you talking about? Mr. Jeon is a great boss." Saja says, twisting the lip tint close as she puts it into her purse.

"I never said he's not great," But you can. While she remarks at Saja to correct her, she simply shrugs. "I just mean the pressure is even bigger considering his assistant works with him the most."

"I could do it any day." Saja says confidently.

Your and Max's eyes meet for a brief moment, his lips twitch slightly but he seems to not react much. You're slightly curious about his reaction, though you act like you haven't seen it as you continue enjoying your soup. 

"Good luck to you, really," The woman says, "Have you managed to mess something up?"

You swallow down the broth, straightening yourself as you clear your throat. They all stare at you expectedly, the table quieting down. Oh god. "I, ah, I mean is nothing big, at least I think."

They stare even more and you mentally roll your eyes before muttering under his breath.

"I got him the wrong coffee." 

Soyeon turns her head at you, staring and for a moment you think she's silently scolding you. Not that you care, they can all fuck off. You've had a rough day and it hasn't even ended. While the woman stares at you in empathy, Max goes back to eating. 

"I mean it's not that bad." she adds, voicing her empathy. 

"Was he mad?" Max asks. 

"Well," you hesitate, cocking your head to the side. "He wasn't happy for sure."

"Oh poor you." The woman whines as if you're destined for death.

And that's when you glance at Saja. She stares and that's when you know she realizes. You're silent, not really sure if you want to throw her under the bus. It's also a great opportunity to see how she's going to react. She clearly saw your look. It's a silent communication between you.

She clears her throat, "Oh? Was that the wrong one?" 

"Yeah." you deadpan.

"Sorry about that." Is all she says as the conversation drifts to a different topic. You enjoy your meal, finally getting some food into your empty stomach. 

After you're back from lunch break, you get back into sinking as much information as you can on your own. Which means – exploring the new device that has been given to you, along with basic information about Mr. Jeon's meetings, schedule and even the emails he has sent. For a certain time being, you feel utterly lost. Not that's not any news.

You try to not let yourself lose in the craziness and hecticness this company seems to be holding. Everyone seems to work automatically, not mentioning they're synchronized like the greatest machine there could exist. Except, they're all human and perhaps they forget you're one too. Or maybe they just expect you to know everything and jump into this work. Is it possible?

Between the chunks of time you seem to have, you doubt yourself and your abilities. It's not the actual work you doubt. It's the fact that everyone and everything seems to run smoothly and fast, while you're left in your own chaos in the tallest and biggest building on this street. 

Though, you're not as useless as your doubts and anxiety might've made you feel. You get a hang of Mr. Jeon's schedule and work plan. At least most of it. 

This man is busy. Not the usual busy. 

He has meetings every day. It doesn't matter whether they're long or short, it takes most of his time. There is a bunch of material and stuff that needs to be prepared for him – every day – and he has to get through it all. 

No wonder the man is so bitter.

With so much work on his shoulders, you would fuck the money and end this business.

Perhaps, that's why you're not the millionaire here. 

Chuckling at your ridiculous thoughts, you're in the middle of checking the mailbox when the phone rings. Recognizing the four code number, you realize it's Soyeon and you already brace yourself for whatever dumb requests might Mr. Jeon has this time. 

"There is Mr. Kang on the line, he wants to schedule a meeting." 

"Okay–" 

Before you can ask her anything quickly, there's a beep sound before a male's voice resounds in the speaker. Greeting him politely, the call runs smoothly as Mr. Kang seems to be very easy going and helps you navigate yourself even without him knowing. 

You check Mr. Jeon's schedule, noticing Mr. Kang is already one of his partners and it turns out, Mr. Jeon has invested a lot of money into his entertainment business. As he tells you and requests, your boss' presence is needed and it's not a meeting that could be done directly in the company. That's why you choose the day where his schedule is not as crazy. 

You're not sure if you've scheduled it right but Mr. Kang seems to be pleased either way. The call ends shortly after and you're left in silence. Leaning back in your chair, you sigh in relief.

That wasn't so bad. 

With upcoming calls, there are numbers straight up calling you but thanks to the call with Mr. Kang, you already know what to expect. You schedule a few meetings here and there, making sure you make reminders for Mr. Jeon. Some of them had to be added or pushed forward. You're not sure if you're doing well, but you're going with your intention. You'll soon find out anyway. 

Surprisingly, the rest of the days goes like this and your brain is focused on doing the job, rather than stressing over everything. It keeps you pleasantly busy, or perhaps it's because there's no one that brags in here and pours hundreds of new information on you. 

You barely see your boss. He's mostly locked in his office, preferably not wanting to be disturbed – something you quickly pick on. Or maybe it's your assumption because how else would you know? You've been locked in your office (not literally) and doing (hopefully) your job. 

Though, he asks you to bring him one of the old contracts between one of his partners. You search for it, but luckily the previous assistant kept things neat. Therefore, you haven't spent too long searching for it and probably testing Mr. Jeon's patience. 

When you come into his office, after announcing yourself of course with a gentle knock, he taps into his laptop barely giving you any sort of gaze. You're used to it by now. Even though he seems to be busy, you still mentally roll your eyes at the lack of... respect? Acknowledgement? He surely could be more kind if he wanted to.

As you place the contract onto his desk, informing him of it even though he knows, you spin on your heels to get back to the safety and comfort of your office.

"Wait," he says as if it physically pains him to even talk to you. Or maybe it's just the gruff of his voice and the depth in it. You're surely assuming a lot of things. 

Turning around and trying to keep your facial expression polite, you give him a questioning look. One he finally sees when he finally decides to spare you a glance. 

"I need you to reschedule the meeting with Mr. Kang. I already have something planned there."

Frowning in confusion, you try to think back of his schedule you've seen dozens of times by now. Have you made a mistake? You're sure his day was mostly free, in terms of nothing big scheduled and planned.

Or there's a chance he made a mistake? You did send him his schedule though. He must've approved when he had no objections. Until now. 

"Your schedule was free on that day, sir." you inform him, the tone hesitant as if you already suspect he has made a mistake. You're still wary about it though.

He stops typing, his eyes flickering back to your figure for a split second that has your stomach clenched in discomfort. This is it. You're either getting scolded or fired. The first option seems more pleasant. 

"I've got a private schedule." he remarks with the same stoic expression you've seen a handful of times. Does this man have any emotions? Because you're seriously doubting it. 

Oh well. You couldn't have known he has a private schedule. Shouldn't you know about these kinds of things? 

"Oh, sorry. I will reschedule the meeting right away." you say, swallowing down your pride and the need to voice your thoughts. 

Of course, you know you can't speak freely because this is your freaking boss. He's cold and demands professionalism. It wouldn't be right of you to tell him that you didn't in fact know about his private schedule. Because there is no way you would know. 

And perhaps there might be a little luck in all of this. Maybe he clearly sees the distress on your face as he rolls his shoulders before opening his mouth.

"I wanted to add it and send it to you after reviewing my schedule." he informs.

You both stare at each other for a moment, while you're processing the fact he just indirectly told you it's not your fault. He knows you wouldn't know.

"Just make sure the meeting is rescheduled," he mutters, eyes focused on the screen of his laptop again. "You may leave."

Thank you, your Highness.

You leave for real this time. With a tiny feeling of accomplishment in your heart.

Mr. Kang – or what you assume his assistant to be exact – has shown no problem in rescheduling the meeting. You were slightly worried he wouldn't be pleased but after his assistant checked with him, he didn't seem to mind at all.

The sun is setting down and the view from your office is worth every second. You even steal a quick photo of it before you return back to work. 

This room is quite isolated but even the little sounds you could've heard throughout the day, just the ones that let you know this place is active and busy, have subtly faded away. The company is less hectic and everyone's probably on their way home. You won't lie, you've checked time and according to a contract that was given to you, you should've clocked off already.

But – you had a few emails to sort out along with your own personal research of Mr. Jeon's working ethic and schedule. You understand things more now, you studying and trying to get a hang of it certainly helped. 

You're not a coffee drinker but you've made yourself one after stealing five minutes, to get yourself one in the break room. The cup is now empty, sitting on your desk as you've left the door ajar. You have one more email to read before you pack it up. Even Soyeon is not at her desk and you assume she already left home. 

You're in the middle of staring into the screen, your eyes slightly aching as your door is suddenly pushed open. The sound is loud enough to catch your attention, even if it wasn't for your peripheral vision. 

You stare wide-eyed at Mr. Jeon, glancing around as if he's checking to see the room intact. Once he finds nothing suspicious or worth his attention, his gaze falls down on you. 

"What are you doing here?"

Somehow that question is invading, yet it's simple and said with a cold tone.

Opening your mouth, you try to find the right words as he glances at the surely expensive watch hugging his wrist. Not mentioning it all matches with his dark suit. 

"You were supposed to leave an hour ago."

"I wasn't sure–"

"You didn't read the contract?" he cuts you off, frowning. "It clearly states how long your usual working days are."

In fact, you read it. Along with the information that there is something called a basic shift and additional schedule. It consists of special events, occasions when you're needed outside of the company and your usual working time. So far, nobody has really talked about it yet and it's something you need to know about more.

"I wasn't sure–" you continue, louder or at least loud enough to catch his attention and let him know he interrupted you. The way his face twists into irritation is not something you should play with. 

But His Highness is probably not aware that interrupting is considered as impolite.

"--I could leave just like that since it's my first day. Actually, I was planning to finish an email before leaving."

"You're better here when you're well rested each day. I don't need an employee who works overtime because they can't finish their work on time."

The jab is there, loud and clear, one you should've been prepared for. Of course he's going to give you an attitude about this. 

"Didn't Miss Kim tell you when you're supposed to finish?"

You have no idea who Miss Kim is, it's either Saja or Soyeon. But one thing you know, none of them let you know nothing. 

"In fact, no she didn't." you inform him with a pointed look, watching him narrow his eyes at you. 

Whatever he's thinking, he keeps it to himself. "Pack your things and leave."

He goes to turn around and leave, your panic getting the best of you as you quickly jump to your feet. "And come back tomorrow?"

His steps halt to a complete stop as he glances across his shoulder.

"You said you would give me a chance."

"And I'm keeping my word, Miss Y/L/N."

Pressing your lips together, your fingers leaning against your desk as you try to prevent them from shaking. 

"I want all the documents on my desk before eight tomorrow. And don't mess up my coffee."

And he's out of the room, leaving you with your mouth open and eyes widened. You slowly blink, realizing hitting you slowly and surely as your lips stretch into a wide smile.

You're expected here tomorrow. He didn't fire you. 

Yet.

Your legs and walk flow in a confidence you were definitely lacking the day before. Even though this job seems like something where you don't know what to expect every day, you're more content with yourself by your yesterday's performance rather than disappointed and upset about it. 

Though, there is still a slight fear of what's awaiting for you creeping around the corner. But you don't let it ruin your morning. Now when the sun starts to peek in, the morning's fresh air naturally lifts your mood.

Maybe it's not just the fear that could potentially make you anxious. You also have a huge respect for this job. Not only because you need it, but you also want to do your best. While you truly admit you wouldn't be able to work there without Hoseok's help, you'll try to prove you deserve to have a place there.

Mr. Jeon would never even let you enter the building if Hoseok wouldn't persuade him to give you a chance. Figuratively speaking. Mr. Jeon isn't probably the person that deals with employing people from the start. They have to go through different check-ups and rounds until they get a chance to see the boss himself. His word is final though. You don't doubt he's included in all those decisions, but you can't imagine him dealing with every single interested party when it comes to new job positions. 

You truly appreciate Hoseok's help. But you can't help but feel slightly embarrassed that he had to put effort in persuading his friend. You still have Mr. Jeon's face right in front of you. That one look that reminds you why you're there in the first place. 

Your ego has to go. At least you have to push it to a certain level, so you won't get too discouraged. Again, you need this job and the money it offers. This is the only reason why you're walking inside the building, blending in with people you would never truly blend in. At least you don't believe that. 

You're wearing the clothes Soyeon gave you. It's safe to say it's one of the reasons why you look like you're one of them. Well, you are for now. You can only hope you will when you hopefully sign the contract. 

A card is given you at the reception, the kind woman informing you of its use as you simply just have to scan for entry. Not literally. It's just to log in your information to the database of when you're arriving and leaving. Everyone has one.

Glad for this new information, you scan the card in a nearby scanner before waiting for the elevator. You put it into the small and very inconspicuous pocket in your skirt. One thing you've got to say about the attire, is that it makes you confident. You already feel successful while wearing it, which is ridiculous and definitely sounds like it, but it feels like an honor to represent this company. Even on your way here, you noticed a few interested gazes aimed at you.

The material feels expensive, almost forbidden to wear in fear you would stain it somehow. Coming inside here again, you're a newbie regardless of how you feel outside of this tall and massive building. 

As you come up to your floor, greeting who you could call some of your colleagues (despite there's no way you'll get familiar with all of them) Soyeon is not present at her front desk but you're guessing she must be somewhere around. Who you do find and spot coming out one of the rooms is Max. You halt a little, surprised by his sudden presence as he seems equally perplexed to see you. But the look is quickly wiped away as he shoots you a wide and friendly smile. 

"Y/N, so you didn't give up." He tries to joke, clearly hinting at the fact that yes, you're still here. Even though you're not sure why he would think you wouldn't. God knows what they think of you or what information they have about you.

Unless Mr. Jeon is keen to gossip and open with his employees, there shouldn't be too much stuff that could reach their ears. 

"No, not yet." You settle on a faint grin, keeping the joke afloat.

"I do like you, so I really hope you stick around."

"Oh, was that a compliment?" you laugh. He definitely knows how to make someone nervous.

He opens his mouth, a grin still attached to his lips but before he could make you even more assured than he already is (which is a total sarcasm on your part), someone comes out of the break room, interrupting the moment.

"Are you done flirting, Maximilian?" Saja, wearing the same attire as you, hair in a perfect sleek low bun, doesn't bother to show a hint of smile. "Our policy says there are no workplace relationships allowed." She reminds him, almost annoyingly which leaves you totally dumbfounded. 

Glancing at Max, he seems just as dumbfounded because first of all, where's the flirting? Sure, Max is a little on the flirty side but you assume that's a part of his personality. Who knows, but still, such a bold assumption is not exactly appropriate. 

But Max doesn't falter, he doesn't look embarrassed but the way he looks to his side where Saja's standing, he looks her up and down, almost in a bitter way. 

"Is there a reason why you interrupted our flirting?" he asks instead, causing you to almost choke on your spit as you clear your throat and fail to hide the awkwardness you're currently and undoubtedly feeling. 

She chuckles, not buying his attitude. "I need her to show her stuff. So please, take it somewhere else and preferably to someone else. But make sure Mr. Jeon doesn't know about it."

"You and your threats."

"The company's policy. Not threats." She corrects.

Are you interrupting something?

Max turns to you, rolling his eyes. "You know, friendliness is not against our policy."

"Explain it to Mr. Jeon, once he's the one who catches you."

"Catches doing exactly what? Talking to my new colleague? Please." 

You purse your lips, shifting weight on your feet. This is really awkward.

"Max," she says his name, laughing almost bitterly as she shakes his head as if to call out his bullshit. He doesn't move though, lifting his brow. "I'm just informing you."

"I don't need you informing me. I'm very much familiar with our policy. Now, Y/N, it was lovely talking to you and I do hope we will talk in the future, preferably not getting caught by someone." he teases, grinning at you as your cheeks heathen up as you send him an unsure grin. 

You murmur something in return, not even sure what comes out of your mouth as he shoots you one last smile before walking away. Saja stands there, raising her brow at you almost as if it's your turn to get scolded. 

"I wasn't lying. Mr. Jeon does not allow any relationships. I'm sure it's in your contract."

The one that isn't signed yet though. You keep that to yourself. 

First of all, you didn't even think about Max that way. Not unless she made it seem as if it's something bigger than it really was. Not aware of her true intentions, you don't even try thinking of it because it's pointless. 

"Is there a reason why?" you ask instead, her brows shooting up in a silent surprise at your question instead.

"I'm pretty sure it's because it could potentially ruin the progress of working. Just measure to avoid any misunderstandings and problems. Most companies do that. At least the ones I worked at did."

"Max seems like a friendly person. I don't think he was flirting."

A little annoyed as she seems to look, perhaps it's the still ongoing topic that annoys her, she stays silent for a moment. You don't give her the time to respond though. 

"It was nothing but a friendly conversation. Nothing to suspect or worry about."

The look on her face is worth your slightly passive-aggressive reaction as a grin threatens to make it to your lips. "Well, I advise you that."

"Thank you, I will take it to heart." you promise her, almost cackling when her expression drops and it turns more serious.

"Let's go to the office. I need to explain a few things before Mr. Jeon arrives." she grits through her teeth.

Despite the not so friendly exchange, a smile remains on your face as you slowly follow her to your office with slightly more confident steps.

During the ten minutes that are spent in the pleasant interior of your office, you deduce Saja is more informative and helpful than she was yesterday. Regardless of how quickly words spill out of her mouth to the point you think you might get a whiplash (again), you're trying to sink every information she has for you. She even made a few notes, point by point, that consists of basic information you'll need. 

You appreciate the work she put into that, or that she took the time to write all of that, regardless of its length. With that being said and sent to your mail, she leaves you to do your job since the time is ticking and Mr. Jeon will be here any minute. 

As explained and not forgotten, you make sure the cup in your hold and its content is the right one. Despite your boss' words of how he wants his employees well rested (though you're not sure if that's possible due to the amount of stress and work), you have barely slept well. Though, you hope the make-up you're wearing hides that tiny secret well. 

You don't dare to judge. Everyone here seems to be working well, perhaps they don't experience as much stress like you do – obviously. 

Coming inside his office after announcing yourself of course, you're not shocked at the lack of eye-contact and attention as you settle the cup down.

"I hope it's the right one." he says, something in his tone that you can't quite point out. Did he just make a joke? As many things here and in life generally, you don't dare to say and be sure. You don't know him and his personality is something you're still trying to figure out.

It's that moment and a few seconds of lingering silence that eventually causes him to pry his dark brown eyes off the laptop's screen, setting those distant and dark orbs on you. It's the clear quirk of his brow that brings you back into reality.

"Of course it is." It's funny how quickly you say it, with urgency as if you didn't get it wrong only yesterday. To your defense, it wasn't exactly your fault. Actually, it wasn't your fault at all. Saja made it and you just brought it to him. 

It still bothers you that you're the one who messed up in his eyes. Or in anyone's for that matter. He watches you for a second, enough to make you nervous while you're inches from his desk and well, him. He does radiate dominance and coldness. It doesn't make sense that Hoseok is friends with him. He's a complete opposite.

As much as you're curious about the man in front of you, you prefer not to ask your friend too much about him and his life. One, it shouldn't interest you enough to want to know it. Second, Hoseok is a very good friend with him and not only that, they're some distant family. While Hoseok is your friend and the closest person you have in the country, he's not your best friend that could potentially spill you anything. 

In other words, it wouldn't be exactly wise to try and pry. After all, your curiosity should go aside because this is your job. You shouldn't play with fire or dig into this and him. You won't risk that. 

"I had your documents and papers prepared before you came in,"

Stupid. You inform him of something he clearly saw when he came in here. 

"I hope everything's right."

"You hope?" he questions his brow in the same position that has been questioning you. 

He leans back against his chair, elbow resting on the arm handle as he brushes his fingers over his chest. He doesn't pry his eyes off you.

"You really want this job, right?"

You open your mouth and give him a look, once you can't even define yourself but obviously almost spills out of it. He notices it, he surely does because the little twitch the corner of his mouth makes is enough proof of it.

"I want to do my job right, sir. I'm still new and I'm learning." you answer him, diplomatically with a hint of honesty and roughness that definitely doesn't go unnoticed by him. 

Whatever argument he would have prepared, he decides to keep his mouth shut and just watches you with almost piqued interest. Or he's deep in thoughts, like you said, you can't quite figure him out.

"Learning is fine, but I hope you're aware you have to be quick at it. We don't have time for any slackers or slowness."

Well, damn. What encouraging words. 

"I'm not a slacker and I hope I'm not slow either."

If he knew you even dreamed about this job, your first day haunting you even in your sleep.

"You do a lot of hoping."

"Sometimes it's the only thing we can do."

He stays silent for a moment, "I could argue with that," he protests but he says it with no remorse or anything negative. Just merrily points out. "I could also give you a few encouraging words, but I'm not sure what help would that make."

It would certainly make you not want to shit your pants in his presence, but you don't tell him that. 

You're not here long enough, but you can't imagine him being all sweet and encouraging. It just doesn't suit him at the moment. You're aware of your judgment and assuming, so you stop and straighten yourself more.

"I need to see results, not give out hope."

That's a bit cold, but you offer him a short nod.

"Got it."

"Alright," he sighs, straightening himself that he's no longer in his leaned back comfortable position. "I need you to get a car ready for today's lunch. I have a meeting at that time and you're coming with me."

You nod, hiding your shock and maybe fear? Who knows. 

"Any restaurant preference?"

"Italian. The one in the Four Seasons Hotel. Call them and reserve us a table. Just mention the name Jeon and they should confirm it."

"Got it, sir. I'll call them right away."

He nods, scooting closer to his desk, dismissing you with no other words needed. 

Turns out, he has a driver for special occasions. Not sure if lunch with a business partner is a special occasion, but this time you meet Mr. Jeon in an underground garage. Not having the guts to ask if you're late, you keep your mouth shut and the two of you get inside the car. 

You're sure you're not late, you were informed about the specific time when you delivered him the news of the successful reservation. Soyeon, whom you met during the day, has given you some details of how usually these meetings work and how you should prepare. Turns out, you're there to assist Mr. Jeon – schedule any possible future meetings and give him information about his schedule. 

It's understandable that a man with so much work on his shoulders can't remember every single thing, just as much as he can't manage the little details. That's why he has an assistant, that's why you're going. 

The reason for your presence there is no secret to you, and you knew that without Soyeon telling you. Still, you appreciate her trying to help. 

The drive there is spent in silence, a little awkward you would say. One of Mr. Jeon's driver is an older man. Not too old though, maybe old enough to be your father but he seems nice and polite. You can't exactly tell when all you exchanged were greetings before you joined your boss in the backseat.

You also can't say it's the most comfortable ride. You mean... Mr. Jeon is sitting right next to you, even though there's a little space between you – it's still the closest you've been to him so far. 

Man with such distance he seems to radiate, it feels odd to be so close to. He's a stranger, someone who literally has your destiny in the palm of his hands. Big hands at that. 

Something you've noticed before but is clear now as well. You're purely judging the way his phone looks small in his hold. You don't dare to make it visible that you're silently side-eyeing the man. He's not exactly the type to break the awkward silence, but he seems to be too engrossed in his phone to maybe even notice. Or care. 

The silent radio music is the only thing that prevents complete silence. And you find yourself staring from the window, your purse clutched to your side with the needed iPad in it.

It's when a rustling sound comes from the side, catching your attention as you watch Mr. Jeon tucks his phone back into his slacks pocket checking his surroundings out of the window. 

"Mr. Liang owns an agency that represents people who would potentially want business investors to invest in them." Mr. Jeon suddenly says, breaking the silence with his smooth but deep voice.

The moment you both share a look, which is just simply looking into each other's eyes, you almost panic and look away. You hold the stare though, not wanting to get intimidated by the man's eyes or aura. He seems clueless about that, more notes the slight surprise or confusion on your face.

"It's not important information but you can't go there and be completely clueless." he explains, causing you to nod in understatement.

"I thought most business partners come straight to you." Meaning to his company and through their employees, they got to the boss – Mr. Jeon.

You're not ashamed to have a question, a meer curiosity coming to the surface. Mr. Jeon doesn't look bothered, which is a good sign. 

"They do. But most people don't have the resources to do so. We're not a company you can just easily approach. We're talking about millions here, not a few bucks. So owners of agencies like Mr. Liang, they take care of all the important stuff. They take a share from the potential success, that is if I decide to invest in whatever they come up with."

"But they still pay for it, right? They have to be able to allow an agency to represent them."

"Of course. Nothing's for free, Miss Y/L/N," he answers, "If it's a beginner whose business is new, they usually take loans. They still need to pay."

You know how frustrating it feels not to have enough money to be able to go after your dreams. It's a sad reality. People have to take a risk to be able to go after them, most of the time to get into debts. 

It's surely not something Mr. Jeon has ever gone through. You don't judge him. He had the luck to be born into a rich family, which doesn't always have to be positive. You're just comparing the two different worlds. Regardless of that and anything that's obvious, Mr. Jeon was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. 

You wonder if he can even empathize with the struggles these people, or any ordinary mortal is going through. Does he even realize how tough it is for some people? In a way, he's helping them by investing his money into their business but still. It's not for free. You've seen the numbers. He has a good share after that as well. 

After all, he wouldn't invest if it caused him to lose the money. He needs a profit off the things he invests his money into. And from the looks of it, he's doing a fucking amazing job at it. 

You arrive to the Four Seasons Hotel shortly after, Mr. Jeon dismisses his driver's attempt of opening the door for him. It's a little detail but you notice it nevertheless, focusing on yourself instead and trying not to trip in your heels.

Mr. Liang is already inside by the time you get greeted by the lovely staff. Their swift greetings aimed at the man beside you prove he is a regular here. That much was clear to you when he said to mention his name when you were about to make the reservation. 

Just like the most business partners you had a chance to see, Mr. Liang is older than your boss for sure. He's in his mid fifties for sure, but his appearance screams important and business. You're purely judging it by his suit and overall vibe. For his age, Mr. Liang definitely takes good care of himself. 

He's either surprised Mr. Jeon hasn't come alone or because he sees a new face. But judging from the information you've received, you would say it's the second option. You're right because seconds after and after the two men bow at each other, he looks at you. 

"New assistant?" he questions with a smile, outstretching his hand for you to shake.

You politely take it, bowing to him. Mr. Jeon watches the interaction, sitting down as he adjusts his suit. "We'll see."

Is all he says, your frown wanting to come to the surface but you surpass it. It's awkward and perhaps quite embarrassing to hear him saying that in front of a stranger. Mr. Liang seems to be a little taken back, but for whatever reason (or his own sake) he does not ask any further questions. 

They start chit-chatting when menu orders are given to you. You stay quiet, pulling out the iPad from your purse to prepare. Drinks are ordered and you stick to the soda, even though it's nothing like you. It's not like you should care about the bill, one of those two surely pays but still. It's a safe choice. 

"I'll come back to take your meal order." The waiter says, bowing to everyone at the table before he retrieves back.

The man starts picking their food, silently flicking through the menu. "Order something too." 

Mr. Jeon speaks beside you, not lifting up his gaze as he still scans the item in his hands. 

"This should be your lunch break, Miss Y/L/N," he reminds you.

You notice Mr. Liang lifts his eyes to watch you two but his lips stay sealed shut. 

"So order something and eat."

Well, how were you supposed to know that? At least he informed you and spared you the embarrassment of having to spend this meeting with an almost empty stomach. It's a bare minimum but regardless of that, this is still work. You're working during your lunch break. So it is touching that he wants you to eat and not starve.

That would be a really asshole move, considering they're about to have lunch during this.

"Okay." you almost whisper, looking at Mr. Liang as you send him a tiny smile. He reciprocates it and luckily, gives you no attention.

After you order the food, the two business men go straight to work. You assistate, jumping in whenever you're needed and after tasting delicious Italian food, you feel better about the entire meeting. Everything runs smoothly and even though it's hard to detect any positive emotions on Mr. Jeon's face, he seems to be pleased enough with the outcome.

Surely, you can't be a good judge of this, but considering this is your second day properly working in this company, you're proud of yourself because you knew everything. You haven't done anything ridiculously hard, mainly gave information of Mr. Jeon's schedule and did research when he asked you to, but still. You're proud of yourself.

There was not a moment where you were lost and that's a win. Especially in the presence of the boss himself. 

When you get back, Mr. Jeon retrieves back to his office, informing you he doesn't want to be disturbed and all calls should be handled by you or anyone else. You nod at that, bowing at him one last time before you separate your ways. 

"How was it going?" Soyeon asks once she spots you walking by her desk, her eyes sparking with hidden interest and curiosity.

How was it going? You ask yourself. Releasing the breath, a content smile makes it up on your face. "It went actually well."

Soyeon's brows lift up as if she expected something else, though it's quickly wiped away as she gives you a cheerful smile and thumbs up. 

You're ready to walk away but you halt in your steps. "Mr. Jeon does not want to be disturbed." you inform her.

The entire moment is professional, bringing something joyful to the hopeless situation you're in. You're merely informative, making sure Mr. Jeon's orders don't go ignored. Soyeon nods, watching you the entire time you walk to your office.

You sit in your chair, leaning back as you stare at the ceiling, giggling to yourself. The joyful moment doesn't last long though, the phone ringing loudly brings you back to reality and reminds you that nothing is won yet. 

But it's on a good path and that's exactly what you let remind yourself for the rest of the day. 

"Is your boss hot?"

The second day at your work has ended successfully and so far, Mr. Jeon hasn't come to find you and deliver bad news. That's enough to celebrate and perhaps open a bottle of wine to celebrate, but you simply cannot. You can't risk a headache or potential hangover. 

Since living overseas can be lonely and the last thing you want is to bother Hoseok. He has his own job and can't hang out with you whenever you feel like it. Therefore, you didn't consider inviting him over because there's no need to.

And FaceTiming with your older sister is just enough. It's what you used to do most of the time when you were back home. 

She moved out to Spain at the age of twenty-two which is sooner than you. For you, it was difficult to leave home and everyone there. For her, not as much. She has always been more adventurous and braver when it came to stuff like this. That's why it was such a surprise you decided to move here. Well, you did talk about wanting to come here but it was mostly fantasy talk.

She surely didn't take you seriously, knowing you wouldn't just pack your things and leave. However, you've met Hoseok and if it weren't for him, you wouldn't have the guts to leave.

"What? You did say he's young." she elaborates, shrugging at the raised brow you're showing her.

"So he's gotta be hot as well?"

If it were for you, that's exactly how you would describe your boss. Which by the way, seems very inappropriate and you almost get embarrassed for thinking it. It feels weird to be talking about it openly, even if it's your sister. 

She visibly shrugs, propping her chin on her palm. "He's young and successful. It would be a shame if he wasn't hot, just saying."

"He's decent," you hum instead, not giving the pleasure to unknowing Mr. Jeon that yes, he is hot indeed. The fucker knows it anyway for sure. "I'm more concerned about his personality. He's very firm."

You elaborate more, explain her everything from beginning in more details since messages do not give it justice. She's no stranger to your situation. 

"Well, thank god for your friend then," she says after you tell her about the interactions you've experienced with your boss. "And you don't have to work for him forever, right? You just gotta stay there for a while and then you could find something different."

"Whatever that's gonna be, I feel like it's not gonna be anything better."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because his company is one of the best known in South Korea. He's a millionaire."

"Maybe you could work for another millionaire then." she jokes, earning another glare from you. 

"It's not that simple."

"Hm," she hums, popping a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "Is he like, super famous? I could google him. What was his name?"

You laugh, shaking your head. "He's known but he's private. People tend to put their interest and attention on idols and actors, actresses. Not millionaire heirs."

"You know what you should do?"

"What?" you deadpan, knowing one of her brilliant ideas are about to come out. 

"You should make more friends. You never know. They might help you in the future, in any field."

That's not exactly a bad idea, you know what she means. 

"I'm not gonna make friends just so they could help me when I need them." you point out.

"That's now what I meant," she argues, "Not in that way. But it's not bad to know more people. You gotta understand you don't have your family there, Y/N."

"I know that." you mutter, rubbing your forehead as you make yourself more comfortable in your bed. 

"Just think about it."

"Yeah, yeah." you wave the topic off. "I'm ready to make more friends. But currently, there aren't many opportunities to do so."

"What about your co-workers?"

"Right," You press your lips together. "They're all... I don't know, some of them are very welcoming and obviously, the company is large so I don't know everyone. I don't think it's even possible. But some of them are really serious. I don't know how to explain it."

"Maybe it's a cultural thing?" she questions.

"They're just very skilled in everything and I'm a newbie." You're reminded of Max's words. He calls you a newbie. 

"It will get better, I'm sure."

You're not sure about that, but you nod and end the topic there. You catch up over other stuff, mainly your sister talking about the reconstruction of her and her boyfriend's bathroom. Once a set of yawns keep coming in the midst of your call, you decide to end it there.

Making sure your alarm is set, even though it's automatic by now, it takes you a minute to stare at the ceiling before darkness swallows you whole. 

This time more confident to meet Mr. Jeon's orders and deep eyes that follow you into your dreams.

#networkbangtan #ksmutclub #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #bts au #ceo!jungkook #personasintro

[j0elmill3r]

Pre outbreak joel getting a cold where he can’t go to work so he stays home and his baby girls take care of him

Roles Reversed

Pairings -  Joel Miller x Daughter!Reader, Sarah Miller x Sister!Reader

Summary - Joel gets sick, and his baby girls take on the role of looking after him for the first time - Especially his youngest. 

Word Count - 1.4k Words

Warnings - Literal tooth -rotting fluff.

A/N - Take this as an apology for my last spate of depressing fics...I'm sure it'll be back to regularly scheduled programming in no time

Joel Miller Masterlist

Joel groaned as he woke up, turning onto his side as he looked at his alarm clock. Most mornings, he didn't usually find it so hard to wake up in the morning, since you had finally grown out of the stage of not sleeping through the night - But there was something about today that felt different, he felt more tired than usual, sore and blocked up. Joel loved you, but he really hoped that you wouldn't come bounding into his room as you usually did every morning without fail. Luckily for him, Sarah had woken you up this morning to try and give your dad a rest from you, since turning 3, you had become quite the handful - Joel had thought this phase would have ended after the terrible twos.

"When is daddy wakin' up?" You asked Sarah, trying your hardest to mix the eggs that Sarah had cracked into the bowl. You were now going through your clingy phase, and since you were lacking in a mother figure, you just became more clingy towards your dad. Sarah giggled as she looked back at you.

"He should be up soon, I promise," Sarah assured you, taking the bowl and whisk from you. "You know what? A for effort," You smiled widely at the praise, even though you didn't quite get how backhanded it was. You looked over at the stairs as they creaked, smiling at your dad as he came down the stairs - Sarah frowned slightly at the sight of your sickly father.

"Daddy!" You yelled out excitedly, waiting for Sarah to lift you down from the kitchen counter. Reluctantly, she did, feeling sorry for your dad as you ran full pelt towards him. Joel grunted as you ran directly into your dads legs, waiting for him to pick you up, looking up at him in confusion. "Daddy, up," You demanded, a pout on your face as you met your father tired eyes. 

"Sorry, baby," Joel apologised, groaning as he bent over to pick you up. "Daddy isn't feeling too good." He sniffled, his nose blocked up. Sarah slid him a glass of orange juice.

"No coffee this morning, you need some vitamin D," Sarah told him, she wasn't taking any mess from him this morning. Joel happily took the glass, holding the glass in one hand, and holding you with his other arm. "You need to go lie down, and not go to work," She gently scolded him, Joel laughed, laughing at the big sister bossiness she had adopted since you'd been old enough to verbally communicate with her. "And me, and Y/N will look after you today." Sarah told him with a smile, taking you from your dad's arms. 

"I made you breakfast, daddy," You told him. Joel looked at Sarah, slight panic in his eyes at the thought of his 3 year old in charge of making his breakfast. "No, we made you breakfast." Sarah corrected you, settling the panic in your fathers eyes. "Here, scrambled eggs, with extra shell, courtesy of Y/N." Joel chuckled as he took the plate from Sarah.

"Oh great, my favourite."

Joel did have to hand it to Sarah, she was great at getting you ready for the day. She had gotten you ready in the time it had taken him to take a long shower and get into fresh, comfy clothes, and settle onto the couch in a comfy position. You sat on the floor in front of the TV, some cartoon playing, it completely had your attention. Joel, instinctively, moved you back from the TV, considering how close you were to it.

"Daddy," You whined.

"No baby, you'll get square eyes if you sit so close," He warned you. Sarah had gone to the store to get supplies for your dad, since all that was in the medicine cabinet was child's Tylenol and NyQuil, which wouldn't have been much use to your fully-grown, adult father. 

"Sarah, honey, I'll be fine to go," Joel tried to convince his oldest, who was already sitting on the bottom step, slipping into her shoes as she looked up at her dad.

"No, go and lie down dad," Sarah gently pushed him back to the living room, watching as Joel got back into his position laying on the couch. "I won't be long, and I have my list so I know what to get you." She said, a satisfied smile on her face as she looked over at you and your dad, Joel's eyes dropping with sleep at every passing second, and you sitting in front of the TV, your attention glued to the TV. Sarah waved goodbye to you as she left. Joel, determining that you were pretty satisfied to watch your cartoons, he concluded that he could afford a bit of shut eye - but only 5 minutes, he told himself. It was only 10 minutes later when you noticed that your dad was out cold, starting to snore. You giggled, climbing over your dad and grabbing one of the blankets that sat behind the couch, trying your hardest to throw it over your sleeping father. You sat down in front of him, just in case he needed anything.

"Sleepy daddy," You whispered quietly, watching your dad as he slept. Joel stayed asleep, and as the front door open, you looked over to your sister as she came through the front door carrying a CVS bag. She saw the excited look on your face, but held a finger up to her lips, motioning for you to keep quiet as you ran towards her. "Daddy fell asleep." You told your sister, pointing into the living room towards your sleeping father, also showing her your feeble attempt at putting a blanket around him. 

"I see that, did you make him comfy?" She asked you, grinning as you nodded in proudness with the attempt of comforting your father. Sarah picked you up, realising that it was just past your nap time, she carried you upstairs to your bedroom - watching you yawn as she put you down in your unmade bed. "Aw, you're sleepy." Sarah asked you, tucking your teddy in beside you as she pulled the covers up. You whimpered as she went to leave, reaching out for her as she made her way out of your room.

"Stay," You whined, trying to wriggle out of bed. Sarah, reluctantly sighed and headed back to your bed, getting in beside you. You cuddled into your sister, who put both arms around you, holding you protectively. A while later, Joel woke up, in a bit of a blind panic, since you and your sister were nowhere to be seen. Spotting the CVS bag on the kitchen countertop, he realised that Sarah had maybe just taken you to the park for a bit to give him a bit of peace and quiet. Okay, maybe Sarah had been a bit overboard in what she had bought - Joel had told her the basics, pain killers, cold and flu, and tissues - But she had gotten at least two of everything, and 3 boxes of tissues. After taking what he needed and locking up the house, he went upstairs to your room, knowing that you had bedding that needed washed. 

Going into your room, he saw both you and Sarah, curled up in your bed. He smiled at the sight of the two of you, cosied up together and smooshed into your toddler sized bed. Joel didn't quite know what overtook him, but he picked Sarah up first, carrying her down the hall to his room, laying her down on his bed - He then did the same for you, laying down in bed beside Sarah, while still holding you. Sarah cuddled into his side, putting her head on his chest while he still held you with one arm. Joel smiled.

He wasn't quite sure why, but he smiled, happy to have both his baby girls with him.  If you woke up at 3am complaining that you were hungry, then that was fine, he'd make you something to eat. Anyway, Joel was smiling until the next morning, when you both you and Sarah woke up with both chest and head colds.

#joel tlou #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller hbo #joel miller x daughter!reader #x daughter #x daughter reader #x daughter!reader #hbo the last of us #fan fiction #fanfiction #fluff #fanfic

[yeoosaangg]

Bad Idea || Kinktober - Day 3

pairing ▸ jung wooyoung × f!reader

now playing ▸ bad idea - dove cameron

⤷ ❝i've got a lot of sins, but you're my favorite.❞

genre ▸ college au, (one-sided) "enemies" to lovers, kinda angsty, smut

warnings ▸ mommy kink, dry humping, marking, degradation, biting, mentions of depression, self-harm, blood, attempted suicide, hospitalization

── ⋆ ⋆ ── 𔘓 ── ⋆ ⋆ ──

You sit in a circle, bored out of your mind.

A bunch of drunk college students thought it'd be fun to play a silly party game called "Seven Minutes in Heaven".

The last pair of students came back with swollen lips and a few hickeys.

Typical.

Chaewon: Alright! Y/n, spin the bottle.

Y/n: I told you I wasn't playing.

Chaewon: Just do it once! You don't actually have to do stuff in the closet. Just wait until the seven minutes are over.

If she wasn't your friend, you'd punch her. But you sigh, spinning the stupid bottle.

It comes to a stop and you look up at the chosen one you'd be locked in a closet with.

Oh, fuck no! Absolutely not.

Chaewon: Off you two go! Try not to kill each other please.

Easy for her to say!

Wooyoung smirks, confidently walking towards the closet. You follow, putting as much distance between you and the boy as possible.

Hendery: Game starts as soon as I close this door.

Then he slams it shut, locking it from the outside.

Wooyoung: I see you’ve grown out of your baby cheeks.

Y/n: Is that a compliment?

Wooyoung: Just an observation.

Y/n: Whatever.

He chuckles.

Wooyoung: Haven't seen you since junior year of high school.

You cross your arms, staring at your feet. Why is he talking to you like you're old friends catching up. You just want to leave this stupid closet.

Y/n: For good reason.

Wooyoung: Why? We used to be great friends.

Y/n: Like you care.

Wooyoung: Of course I care.

If he did, he would've been there for you when you needed him the most. But he wasn't.

Y/n: Just shut up.

Wooyoung frowns. You never talked to him this way before, what happened? Why'd you drift so far away from him? When did you get so cold?

Wooyoung: Why do you hate me so much?

You scoff. There's no need for him to know, it already happened.

Y/n: Figure it out if you want to know so bad.

He whines quietly.

It'd be easier to clear the air if you'd just talk to him. Why are you being difficult?

He pouts, not liking how you're ignoring him. So he starts kicking your leg to catch your attention.

Y/n: Quit it!

Wooyoung: Not until you tell me what I did.

Y/n: Ugh, fine!

He smiles triumphantly, leaning forward with anticipation.

Y/n: Remember when I spam called you the night you went to Yeosang's birthday party?

He nods.

He was going to call you back when Yeosang took his phone away so he wouldn't be distracted. He meant to follow up with you, but you disappeared.

Y/n: Massive trigger warning, but I was going through a rough depressive episode and needed someone to distract me from doing something really bad.

Wooyoung's smile drops, his shoulders slumping in sadness.

Y/n: When you didn't pick up, I got upset and the bad thoughts got worse. My mom was home, so I couldn't do it there... But I ended up walking to the nearby bridge.

Wooyoung's stomach tightens, a few tears falling down his face.

Y/n: I took out the razor blade I had in my pocket and cut really deep into my arms. I threw it into the river below me and I climbed the railing.

Wooyoung's bottom lip trembled, taking your hand in his. You didn't pull away from him, which made him feel hopeful.

Y/n: Before I could jump, Haknyeon saved me.

Wooyoung: My friend?

Y/n: Mhm. He said his family was on their way back from eating out at a restaurant when he recognized me and told his dad to stop the car.

Wooyoung: I'm happy he did.

Y/n: I wasn't. But he never told anyone what happened. He covered for me and lied to my mom about what happened. He helped me get better until I fully recovered.

He should thank Haknyeon. His best friend wouldn't be here today if he hadn't been there to save you.

Wooyoung: That's why you randomly disappeared... Because you were in the hospital.

You nod, smiling at him.

Y/n: Very dark period in my life. I still have some days where I'm feeling icky, but not as bad as that day. I hope I never get to that point again.

Wooyoung: I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.

Y/n: You didn't know. But I still held a grudge 'cause you promised never to ignore me.

Wooyoung: And I wasn't! But Yeosang took my phone and told me to stop letting you distract me.

Y/n: Why would I be a distraction?

He clears his throat, feeling a bit embarrassed now. It's not an appropriate time to talk about that.

Hendery: Five minutes!

Right, they're still playing the game.

Wooyoung: Ain't no way that was two minutes. This feels rigged!

Hendery: Maybe if you weren't boring and kissed her, time would go by faster!

Kiss?!

Wooyoung: He's crazy.

Y/n: Yeah, but he's hot so it cancels out.

Wooyoung: You think he's hot?

Y/n: Well, yeah. But I wouldn't date him.

Wooyoung: Would you fuck him?

Huh?

Y/n: Why're you asking?

Wooyoung: I'm curious.

Y/n: No. We're both dominant types in the bedroom, it wouldn't work out.

He hums in acknowledgement.

Wooyoung: What about me? Would you fuck me?

Y/n: Do you want me to?

He shivers in place before answering.

Wooyoung: Yes.

Oh!

Wooyoung clears his throat, not expecting the conversation to have gone this route.

But he likes it.

Wooyoung: I've always had a crush on you. Ever since we met, actually.

Y/n: Damn. If you had asked me out when were were kids, I would've accepted.

Wooyoung: And if I ask you now?

Y/n: I wouldn't hate the idea.

Wooyoung: Do you want to go on a date with me?

Your smile beams, making his worries disappear.

Y/n: I'd love to, baby.

He giggles, hiding his face behind his hands. You coo, moving to sit next to him.

Wooyoung: Can I call you Mommy when we're alone?

Fucking hell.

Y/n: Yeah, baby. You most definitely can.

Wooyoung: Okay.

You can see him let himself go, letting you see the side of him no one else can see.

Wooyoung: Can I kiss you, Mommy?

Y/n: Come sit on my lap, precious.

He wastes no time sitting on your lap and wrapping his arms around your neck. His body melts at your touch, your lips dancing with his.

He angles his hips so his crotch rubs against your clothed heat. He softly whines into your mouth, loving the feeling of having you to himself.

Y/n: Baby, can I mark you?

Wooyoung: Yes, please. Want people to know I'm Mommy's.

You smile, pulling down the fabric of his hoodie. Your hot tongue licks the skin of his collarbone before you paint a few red marks on him.

You know they'll bruise later.

His hips stutter, loving how intimate and scandalous this was. Inside of someone else's closet at that.

Y/n: Look at you, so desperate for me. Mommy's little whore.

Wooyoung: Mommy, please.

Y/n: Please, what, baby?

Wooyoung hides in the crook of your neck as his rhythm picks up pace, whimpering at how good he's feeling.

Hendery: Three minutes!

Wooyoung quietly whines. He doesn't want this moment to end. He pulls down your shirt and starts biting your shoulder.

Y/n: I like that a lot, baby.

You moves your hands from his hips to his ass, giving him a hard squeeze. He chokes on his moan, not wanting Hendery to hear.

Y/n: Is my pretty boy feeling shy?

Thing is, he has no problem acting like an arrogant asshole all the the time. But when it comes to the bedroom, he turns into mush and wants to be held.

He wants you to reduce him to nothing but Mommy's fucktoy.

Y/n: Aww, look at you. What happened to the boy that was so bold and sure of himself just moments ago? Why do you seem so small now?

His brain short-circuits. Your tone was sickenly sweet and soft, but your words were mocking him. It's confusing his brain.

Y/n: What's wrong, baby? Is it too much to process with that little brain of yours, hm?

Wooyoung: I- Um, w-we... What's-

He looks so fucking cute. You want to fuck him silly, but that can wait for another day.

Y/n: Look at you, stuttering and tripping over you words. How about I shut you up, baby.

He gasps as you kiss him. He feels so good, loving the way you're holding him.

You hum, sliding your hand under his hoodie. You pull him impossibly closer, using your tongue to part his lips.

He quietly whines, rememberng where you guys were.

Hendery: One minute!

Y/n: How about you make yourself cum, baby?

Wooyoung presses into you, the friction stimulating you both. He inhales another moan, trying his best to keep his sounds at bay.

Wooyoung: Gonna cum, Mommy.

His muffled words were so cute, but you understand him perfectly.

Y/n: Go ahead, baby. Let it out for me.

His hips stutter, releasing inside his underwear. You cum at the same time, feeling your panties soak.

He whines, feeling sticky but so good.

Wooyoung: Thank you, Mommy. Was so good.

Y/n: Of course, my cute boy. Now, fix yourself up, We've got 15 seconds.

You smirk, watching him pull down his oversized hoodie over the front of his jeans. He wipes his face and fixes his hair just in time.

Hendery: Wow, you two really are lame.

Y/n: Thanks, Dery.

Hendery: You guys didn't even talk?

Y/n: What's there to talk about?

Your friend rolls his eyes and pushes you out of the closet.

Wooyoung immediately goes back into his confident and arrogant persona. But you know the truth.

Wooyoung: She's a buzzkill, dude. I need another drink.

They wrap their arms around each other and follow you back into the other room so other people can play the game.

═══

a/n: yeah, idk. i think i'm incapable of NOT adding some sort of plot... the song barely has connection to the fic, i just like it. thanks for reading ‹𝟹

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez fic #ateez x reader #atz fanfic #atz smut #ateez smut #jung wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #atz wooyoung #atz x reader #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez au #ateez angst #ateez writing #ateez oneshot #ateez hard hours #kinktober #kpop kinktober #idk what else to tag

[factual-fantasy]

22 ASKS!! :DD THANK YOU!! :} 🎉🎂🎉

GASPPP!! :DDD I'D LOVE TO!! :}} 💖💖

I've actually been thinking a lot about Louis and his story lately! Though, since drawing is rather taxing on me atm I haven't gotten around to making him a character study post.. Like I did for Cuttlefish.. BUT!! I have still made some story bits for him anyways! :DD 👇👇

I had this idea that he used to be an ordinary flavored cookie of some kind. And he used to live on land as this washed up fisherman that was really down on his luck.. he had lost his job, his home, his arm.. he had no friends.. no family.. nothing. He was really lost and alone..

Its around that time he was somehow welcomed aboard Seafoam's ship. It was just Seafoam, Octo and Ellie at the time. Louis found great comfort and security with this crew. He had never felt more welcome and wanted in his life.. This environment started to break down Louis' anxieties and depression overtime. Slowly turning him into the more jolly and boisterous Louis the crew knows him as today.

But things would take a seemingly bad turn when a curse befell Louis. Turning him into this half cookie, half crab beast. Louis' body had changed significantly, the biggest change being his huge crab arm. Now, most cookies would consider this ghastly new form to be what its intended to be. A curse.. But Louis.. actually didn't mind the changes. In fact, he liked his new body. Quite a lot! And though his new crab arm did cause him quite a bit of aches and pains.. and also took away his ability to swim.. he honestly considered it an upgrade!

Where before he had a missing arm and was completely useless in combat.. now he had this huge intimidating claw in its place! With his new found strength and power, he was a force to be reckoned with! Not only that, but he didn't see his new body as ugly, he thought he looked AWESOME! So he also got a major confidence boost too!

In present day, Louis is a confident, sociable, and all around happy person. And he gives all the credit to Seafoam and his crew for his new found zest for life! :}} ✨🦀💖✨

Anyways-- thank you for taking interest in Louis! :DD rn drawing is rather challenging for me, but I hope to draw him again someday soon! Maybe I can go back and make him his own character study post like I wanted to! 👀👀

I KNOWWW WAAAAAAA 😭😭😭💖💖💖💔💔💖

@pink088

XD Bibi would probably use it to make a cold glass or water for me🥺💖

And hey, thanks for the cake! :DD No doubt Cici will devour it XDD (Bibi allows it)

I suppose if I really wanted to I could learn how. But I don't want to turn my hobby into a job..

I made my first post on December 19th, 2018!! :00 That's roughly 4-5 years or so!

I use FireAlpaca! And I use a xp-pen 13.3 pro tablet ✨✨

As for that Undyne and Papyrus post.. The story behind it is, that Papyrus is from a different timeline. And in his original timeline.. Undyne is dead.. Now, this other Undyne knows that her Papyrus, the "real" Papyrus, is somewhere else in the underground. So this Papyrus is an imposter. She questions this imposter. "Who are you, and why do you look like Papyrus?" She waits for this imposter to answer.. But Papyrus has no words.. since his Undyne died, he hasn't heard her voice in a very long time... he's too shocked to speak..

I DO have a YouTube channel, and I was intending to make animations for it... but I lost my drive. Animations get stolen A LOT. And Animations take a ton of time to make. I was discouraged.. why would I spend so much time on something, if its more likely to be stolen?

Though I have been thinking about making sketch animatic memes... maybe once my health improves I could try to make one-

And hey! Don't worry about my arms, I can make several whether I'm feeling good or bad! :D

AND AAA THANK YOU!! :DD I'm glad you like him and noticed his eye details!! :}}}

(Post in question)

XDD Jangles is chaotic enough to sleep hanging upside down tho lets be real-

@yourstrulylightstar283 (In response to this post)

:DD Bibi gives his thanks!

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson (In response to this post)

XDD I know right?? Another year has already come and gone, its crazy to think about! :00

And don't worry, I've been focusing all my energy on taking care of myself and drinking lots of water! 👍👍

Awe! Thank you so much!! :DD Right now the main thing I'm battling is my poor mental and physical health.. but I have high hopes that things will improve soon! :)))

@the-woomyverse (Post in question)

:DD Thank you! I'm glad you liked them!! :}}

As for Ludwig and Morton, unfortunately they don't have a lot of story built yet.. but I'm working on it! <:D

Ludwig is intended to be the eldest sibling, and heir to the throne. He's the "Prince of the Koopas". That post shows Ludwig seeming nervous.. and unsure. I'm experimenting with Ludwig taking his role as heir very seriously.. but its stressful. He feels like he's under a lot of pressure and has a loooot of responsibility to look forward to..

Though I'm kind'a going back on that a bit. The canon Ludwig seems pompous and a bit arrogant. Maybe I should keep some of that but in a positive way? I imagine that Bowser wouldn't force Ludwig to do this if he didn't want to. And I imagine that Kamek would have done very well to prepare Ludwig for his future kingly-hood.

What I mean by this is. I think a more.. confident, and level headed version of Ludwig would be appropriate. Rather than a pompous snob or a nervous wreck. He could be a young prince with a lot of wit and discipline. A price that is bound to make a fine king. 👑

For Morton I'm afraid there's even less story built for him 😭💔💔 Right now the main thing I'm experimenting with is Morton having some form of melanism. (Its a mutation where animals are born with excess pigment in their skin. Making their fur/hair/skin very dark/black when it otherwise would not have been.)

I could experiment with Morton not liking this aspect of himself..? Maybe it makes him feel out of place or insecure..? Though I doubt any of the individuals around him would have judged him or treated him differently at all for it.. even his siblings.

Idk, I just need some more time to think about him I suppose! <XDD Sorry!! 😭😭

Thank you!! :DD

@untitled-7613 (Post in question)

Thank you! :DD I'm glad you like them!! :}}

And Jimmy was a lovely gift, though I didn't create him! The factual fam is mostly intended to be made of characters that I can take credit for-

(Note- Jimmy was a nice gift, but please! I stand by only wanting comments <:} 💖💖)

@tallchest13-blog

Dawww, as far as I'm concerned, you've followed me twice! At least in spirit! XD

@couchwow

Hergn... but that takes efforttt... how about you tell me what you like about it first? :0

@neo-metalscottic

No problem!! :D And I wonder that about K Rool. I didn't actually realize that he would be very similar to Bowser.. hmm. Well, I'm thinking that even if he is close to Bowser in size, Bowser's got him beat by his fire breathing ability XDD And King/Big Koopa's overall could just be a tougher species-

As for the Super Stars, they have about the same status as the 1-Up Mushrooms. They are this extremely rare Power up that seems to only show up when its needed.

I've been experimenting with the toad people worshiping 1-Ups and the Delfino people worshiping Super Stars. These bizarre and wonderous powerups that are strongly tied to the prophecy and what not. They're also related to how Peach and Daisy became royalty..

Its a lot of complicated word spaghetti atm but the point I'm getting at- is that there is definitely more than one! And they are so powerful and so.. seemingly sentient, that they are seen as almost.. like.. these holy beings that bring about future events.

I haven't rambled about all that biz yet becuase I cant find proper words to figure out what I'm even thinking <XD Gonna need some more time on that one!--

And yes yes yes! The Commander is still around, and AWWW!! Is he really?? :DD That's so sweet! Thank you so much!! :}} I haven't thought much about what role he's played in raising the Koopalings, though I really should. While he isn't there to actually help raise them, he's always been around as they've grown up. Whether it be following Kamek around or doing some kind of work around the palace.

When it comes to Bowser returning injured.. I wonder. part of me thinks that he wouldn't return right away, so maybe his injury wasn't seen by the Commander. But the news of his defeat would certainly be bone chilling. Commander would be more tense around the palace. And probably extends his night watches a bit longer in an attempt to better protect the Koopalings..

On the last note, Yes! I do plan to redesign him once again XD or at least update him a little- Though drawing is very challenging for me atm.. so that'll have to wait a while!.. <XDD

@littlelightfish

WAAAA THIS ASK GAVE ME LIFFFEEEE!!😭😭💖💖💖 NO ITS NOT TOO INTENSE THE ONLY THING THAT IS INTENSE IS MY PURE JOY AT READING THIS OVER AND OVER WAAAHG THANK YOU SO MUVHCHH!!!💖💖💖💖😭😭💖💖

As for your questions! <XD --I've been thinking more about Tuna's character over the past few days and this got me thinking even more! :D

I imagined that when Tuna started out he was a real brat. Not super great to be around. He had some bottled up stuff for sure and was real rebellious and resistant to authority figures. Nobody was really willing to deal with his crap and always pushed back, which just made him more bratty.. for a while Seafoam wasn't sure what he was gonna do with this kid..

But then he reached some kind of middle ground with Ellie.

I have several ideas in mind for how this could go.. but I'll ramble about this one first- XDD

Ellie has thick skin and could tolerate the snarky remarks he made. She also didn't push back, even through she very easily could have. She knows that this kid has some serious inner battles and he doesn't need her snapping back at him.

And like some of the things you mentioned, it started out with Tuna just bumming around in the kitchen. Since Ellie could tolerate him she never kicked him out. Making the kitchen kind'a like a space where he could.. "get away" from the rest of the crew, in a sense..

Ellie was the first person to crack that outer shell of his. Providing him a consistent source of comfort, with her food and the quiet kitchen.

After some time the snarky remarks or comments would slow down.. over time he just resorts to standing around and watching her cook. Getting closer and closer.. eventually asking questions. "What are ye makin..?" "..what's that do..?" She would always reply genuinely. And as gently as she could considering her usual monotone voice <XD

Eventually it turns into "..where'd you learn to cook?" "..how long have you known Octo..?" "..do you trust Cuttlefish.?"

She could say kind things about the crew which gets Tuna to lighten up around them. "Octo seems mean but actually he's just blah blah blah..." Next time he interacts with Octo he's less tense. "Seafoam is genuinely as kind as he seems. If ye can trust anyone, its him." He starts listening to Seafoam more..

These interactions would continue to develop more and more. I don't know if he'd ever be able to help her cook anything- considering how strict she is about it <XDD But although I have several more ideas for this, I like this idea of Ellie really softening him up over time..

WAAHDH WALL OF TEXT--- Thank you again so much!!! :DD It makes my heart very happy to hear that you love Tuna and Ellie so much!! 🥰🥰

(Sorry for not being able to transfer your cookie gifs to this post! <:0)

Hmm.. that makes me wonder if the cookie run characters have.. cookies. Like, small cookies that THEY eat.

Something tells me they don't.. Which makes me think that seeing someone eat a normal cookie would still be horrifying! <XDD

@mrslilysnow

Awe! Thank you so much! :DD Such a pleasant and wholesome message to read, truly. :}}

I'm working out my feelings with the fandom.. tbh I think I'm just in a place where my emotions are all outa whack. And I'm just avoiding anything and everything that upsets me. 💔

I'm sure in a few weeks when I get my health back on track I'll feel better about the Octonauts fandom. Perhaps I'll even return with more updated designs! XD

@radicalrainbow

:DDD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm so glad to hear that!! :}}}

And huh.. its been a while since I've drawn the FNAF string beans hasn't it? Once I can get my health back on track I should draw them again! <XDD

@lampylamperson

Blue!💙💙 :DD Specifically shades similar to what ever this one is XDD 👇👇

:000....... FISH! :DD

@canonickero

SLJFKSJF THAT DISCRIPTION OF THE PIC XDDD JHASKDEJHV

And thank you! This makes me feel a lot better XDD

@beryl-shade

I think the cookie run games have cake/dog things..? I'm assuming the crews pet would be one of those :00

As for the names you've suggested, I love Patty, Pretzel, Muffin and Cornbread XDD such great names! :DD

#my response #factual fam #bibi #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ocs #my ocs #octonauts #undertale #deltarune #super mario bros

[ell-arts]

Just some talking

Not quite a life update, but not quite an activity post either lol, just a plain post about some general things I guess?

I've slowed down quite a bit on content and activity on here. Ever since graduating and moving back in with my parents, I've been hit with art-lethargy and burnout fully settled in, and so I just kinda allowed myself to be stagnant for a while, recovering from the harrowing year that was 2023. It's been helpful. Of course, I couldn't rest for too long because I had to finalise my portfolio/CV and prepare for the working world. Good news is that starting today I'm working on a concept art/storyboard internship for an animation company for two weeks. I don't know if I'll stick with them after the internship ends, but I do have my eye on some other job offerings. We'll see.

I also just realised that 13 Jan was the 1-year anniversary of me returning to being active on Tumblr again. Since then, I believe I've made more content for PMATGA than ever before, and its all thanks to your support! Hoping for another year of PMATGA fanworks.

That being said, I want to get to the main point of this post. In the next few days (weeks?) I won't be talkative or very active for a bit.

If I may be honest, there's been a heck of a thing going on with my family and in my personal life right now. It's sucking at all of my energy and driving me to the point of having an anxious/depressive episode. Outside of work, I really don't have the motivation or will to work on any content at this point in time.

I've been trying to at least do small bits of writing, hoping to get a few fun drabbles out. But they're uninspired and being done haphazardly, because of emotional lethargy and feeling drained regarding irl drama. I am still barely recovering from last year's burnout from uni. So I'm not going to force it. My drive will come back in time, I just need time to readjust to a new work schedule and deal with personal issues first.

I know that Call Me Cyli is much anticipated. I know that The Veil has now gone precisely a full year without an update, equally as anticipated, if not more. I know how much you guys love these stories.

I am not giving up on them. I just need some time.

Hopefully, after I've landed a permanent job somewhere, I'll be able to have a bit more stability in my time and schedule.

Thank you all so much for being so kind and supportive during my first year back on Tumblr 💙 I'll see you when I see you :)

#pmatga #pacman and the ghostly adventures #update

[pocketramblr]

Super late, but 5 hc ask game where Giran gets a kid showing up at his doorstep who says his name is Izuku and his mother recently died and he was given instructions by her to seek him out if anything happened to her. Giran recognizes his mother's name and remembers he had a relationship with her years ago. Upon further investigating he realizes this is his son.

1- It's not super unusual for teenagers to knock on Giran's door. Usually they're delivery boys or messengers, but sometimes they're customers in their own right or looking for recruitment. This kid, however, clearly has no idea who he is: "Um, hi, sorry to intrude, my- my mom told me that if anything happened to her, I should find you. I'm- her name's Midoriya Inko, I'm Izuku." (Giran initially wondered if he's the son of someone he placed who got in trouble there, but then he hears Inko's name, and she wasn't a customer. He waves the kid in and asks what happened.)

2- Izuku's been at a group home the last couple of weeks but slipped away after school today instead of going back. Giran listens, and asks what he wants- he could fake records, get Izuku sent somewhere better, or set up with a new relative, or his own place. Izuku doesn't have any other relatives on his mom's side and never knew his dad, so Giran eventually gets an apartment in "Midoriya Hisashi's" name and has Izuku moved out from the home. The place is really just for him, because he wanted to stay at the same middle school (he's only 13, and he's never had to move schools before). Then, Giran starts poking around to confirm the relationship before offering anything more.

3- But Izuku is lonely, and grieving, and quite depressed. On his fourteenth birthday, Giran comes to visit- a first since getting him moved in, and while they've got each other phone numbers they don't talk much. Giran admits to being his father, which Izuku had almost hoped for before he answered the door. Giran never wanted kids, but he has to admit Izuku's almost not a kid anymore, and since Inko did all the hard parts he isn't going to disrespect her work and throw the teen away. So, he asks Izuku what he wants, and Izuku admits he wants to be a hero, even though he's quirkless, even though he couldn't do anything to save his mom. Giran nods, then says "Ok. I'm sending you to your Uncle Oguro's for the rest of summer break."

4- "My What" Izuku asks, but Giran tells him that he helped save the man's daughter once, so he owes him, and besides, seems like he wouldn't mind Izuku anyway with the company he keeps. "And, your uncle is also quirkless. Tell him you want to be a hero anyway. C'mon, go get packed up while I call him."

It seems to be a very loud conversation from the other end, but all Izuku can hear is his father's easy, calm voice the whole time, still talking like the whole thing is a joke all while being completely serious. Izuku begins to wonder how the hell his parents met.

5- "C'mon, ask." Giran says on the train. Izuku does, nervously, and Giran tells him he won't find out things if he doesn't look and ask, and he should, he's got a good curiosity and a sharp mind. "That'll help at Oguro's. Oh, and if there's an emergency, call me right away, kay?" He's not particularly concerned with Izuku figuring out about the quirkless man being a former hero with a quirk, or learning about AfO that way - Oguro will make it clear Izuku isn't to look for the man or listen to any offers.

#giran's a networker he Knows A Guy or he Finds A Guy #need support items? he knows a guy who makes them and he'll get them to you #need info? giran knows a guy and he'll ask him the for info and fact check it before sending it to you #surprise son who is extremely lonely and without purpose? giran knows a guy who might be able to fix that and owes him a favor anyway #pocket talks to people #anon #ask game

[longitudinalwaveme]

2024 Flash Annual (and General Musings About Si Spurrier's Flash Run)

I bought the 2024 Flash annual today, and enjoyed....parts of it. Which is actually a reflection of my feelings about the run as a whole. Here are my thoughts about the storyline so far, starting with the stuff I'm not crazy about.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Bad

I'm not a huge fan of Wally's kids suddenly having been aged up into teenagers. I liked them as younger kids, and it's frustrating to have them be advanced so rapidly into the more standard teenaged sidekick role.

Linda has been somewhat out of focus in the most recent issues of the story. I appreciate the attempt at tackling postpartum depression, but it feels as though the plot thread has been mostly lost amidst all the craziness.

Barry swearing is weird. He's such a clean-cut guy, and even though he's supposed to be somewhat out-of-character due to all the reality warping shenanigans, it's still odd to have him swearing constantly.

Amanda Waller is back, and she hates superheroes. Again. She's not exactly out-of-character or anything, but she's not really adding all that much to the plot. She's just here because of a tie-in crossover.

The tone of the book is rather dour and depressing. While it's not as relentlessly awful as it probably could be, I have to admit that having the entire Flash family be either depressed or on edge and at each others' throats is a bit depressing.

The Speed Force-related technobabble makes my brain hurt. I know that the Speed Force is always weird and esoteric and doesn't make sense, but this arc has been taking that up to eleven. I neither understand nor particularly care about the Arc Angles or the weird dimensional space-time stuff, and it frustrates me that so much panel time is devoted to that over and above character interactions.

This one is really minor, but I don't care for Evan's new astronaut costume. The original Mirror Master look was better.

Good Stuff

While the dour tone is a bit off-putting, I do at least respect the attempt to portray depression and burnout. For the most part, the symptoms are shown quite realistically, and, at least in Wally's case, it is a continuation of long-running mental health struggles. (Wally also suffered from depression shortly after becoming the Flash, so it does make some sense that his depression might resurface at some point.)

It's good to see Gorilla Grodd again. Before this arc, he hadn't done much for a few years, so it's nice to have him return (even if I'm not sure how he managed to get control over Gorilla City again).

The interactions between Wally and his kids (when they happen) are really solid, at least for the most part. I also like that Irey is still friends with Maxine Baker and that plot point wasn't dropped when the new writer took over.

Abra Kadabra makes total sense as part of the evil scheme, and Spurrier has thus far written him very well. I think it's been a good while since he was a major antagonist in anything, so I appreciate having him back as a Flash villain. I'm also relieved to learn that he was the Piper and not Hartley (mind-controlled or otherwise).

This may be the most interesting and threatening the Folded Man has ever been. Not that that's a particularly high bar to clear, but it's a nice change of pace to have him as a major villain.

Bart Allen and Max Mercury have been written well, and I'm glad that they're a team again.

Hartley has gotten to play an important role in the events of the story and is playing the role of tech support for the Flashes, just like he used to do during Wally's run. I'm very glad to have him around, and I hope that we get to see him in costume before the end of the run (especially given the way that Kadabra's evil scheme has co-opted his theme).

Evan McCulloch is back! I've missed him, and he and his phonetically-written Scottish accent have been one of the highlights of the run for me. He fits in with the book's plot and tone really well, given his weird eldritch powers, and this story has been a good showcase of just how dangerous he can be. I also particularly liked the bit where the Folded Man sarcastically suggested that Evan McCulloch's reward for participating in the plan was a hug; that was a good joke.

Unanswered Questions

Is McCulloch still dealing that Speed Force drug? And how was that connected to the overall evil plot?

Who or what is promising the rewards to the villains? Is it a pre-established villain, or some unknown cosmic horror?

Is Eobard Thawne involved in this scheme? If not, is one of the other Thawnes? I have to assume that at least one of them must be, because otherwise the "Crown of Thawnes" makes little sense.

What exactly has Evan been promised as a reward for his participation in the evil scheme? He's the only one we don't have a definite answer for, and I'm really curious as to what might be motivating him. If I were writing it, I would probably have the reward be a promise to let him go back in time and stop himself from accidentally shooting his father, but I do somewhat doubt that that's what he's actually been promised. Maybe it has something to do with reuniting him with the Rogues?

Are the social problems in Central City going to be addressed outside of Irey's ill-fated attempt to solve them? Is this going to be the next story arc, or an ongoing subplot? If so, I hope Hartley gets involved.

Is Evan still addicted to cocaine? Okay, admittedly this doesn't have much to do with anything, but I am curious.

Regardless of what Evan's been promised, Len needs to find him and whack him upside the head. This scheme is much more dangerous than anything he's been involved with previously, and he seems to have completely gone off the deep end in terms of the behavior he's willing to engage in to get what he wants.

#flash comics #flash rogues #evan mcculloch #mirror master #gorilla grodd #abra kadabra #barry allen #wally west #jai west #irey west #linda park west #the flash

[noacfapologyst]

birthday sleepover — matty healy

(the birthday party: day three)

summary: matty loses something very important in his first moments of officially coming of age. but, he discovers that sometimes losing means winning and he does, he gains something better and something more good for him.

warnings: suggestion of a fight, being drunk in the streets. touches in general. physical contact (anguished, affectionate and raised in tone). disappointment, anger, anguish.

wordcounter: 5,2k

a/n: I don't know if this counts as a sleepover because most of it happens before. but still, i hope you enjoy it!

"Ross!" You scream in the crowd hanging from his arm. "That's so bold!"

"I'm not lying, I'm sorry." He laughs rolling his eyes subtly. "It's more logical to say that you would spend your last day looting a food store on your own."

The dilemma they have while waiting for their drinks is simple. If it was the last day of your life or if you had all the time in the world, who you would be with, what you would do and where. Then his answer hesitates until he finds a girl who attracted him when he was younger, but she was older than him. Today everyone knows that she has a family and that in fact she holds a high office in the city council.

"Do you know what's wrong with that idiot of Matty?" He then inquires, returning to the serious tone of the conversation and looking at how the guy at the bar takes years to prepare five glasses.

"I don't know, he's just being a jerk." You shrug your shoulders and sigh. "I'm not going to withdraw my position because he knows I'm right, he's fooled by her and he knows it's wrong for him. But if he is happy…fine."

"Deceived or not, he is sad at the birthday celebration that he wanted to have and to which he invited us. Hit me if I ever turn into him." Ross comments quite harshly. Then they divide the glasses among the five and walk to the table in a silence of complicity.

You sit in front of him, although you keep your expression with some distance and caution. They argued before, but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy the night either with him doing it or not. Inevitably you know that they will make peace and everything will return to its cycle.

On your wrist dance a glass of Gin Tonic, drink that you have discovered recently but has really dazzled you.

"Look at you, a little girl drinking alcohol on a saturday at this time. You should be playing dolls." Hiss George, sitting on the tip. He smiles at you with expression of comical cruelty, you swallow.

"Courtesy of Matty, my dear." You answer with the same tone on your smile. The two then laugh.

In the meantime, you kick Matty to look up and look at you. His state is static, he is leaning on the palm of one of his hands with a tired and depressed expression. He gets sad, and all he does is change the position of his hand before he drinks his beer.

"This bar sucks. This birthday sucks. We should have stayed home." He says finally, after a while. His tone is heavy, controlled by blood alcohol but quite truthful in the firmness of his words.

"Slow down, dummy." You play with your hands when your glass is halfway. You don't want to beg him to just drop his posture and enjoy her birthday. Until you listen to Britney Spears through the speakers and jump into your little boots. "Oh god, let's go to dance!"

Everybody nods and gets up, it seems the part of good music has begun. Everybody but Matty.

"I pass, I don't want." He answers, and leans against the back of the sofa. You nod angry but you don't bow your head for him, you know that later he'll regret being away and isolated.

"Can you get your damn ass out of the chair and come? It's your birthday, man." Adam shows up from somewhere that nobody notices after moving away from the girl he's been talking to. He has the most marked expression with severity and punctuates the sentence to make it more direct.

In a bad way, but at least he's up.

"But if she comes, what?" It whispers almost inaudible, but chance or not, you hear it.

"For God's sake, Matty! Cathe it's not going to come, understand it for once!" You can't stand it anymore, because you can't stand to see him suffer for waiting for someone who really doesn't deserve to have your best friend. It pains you to see that he doesn't understand it, and he keeps waiting for her so much that it's agonizing and worrying how far apart he is from everyone and how embedded he is in running away with her to places. "And if it takes her breaking your heart for you to understand it, I hope she does. I don't mind."

Adam, Ross and George listen to the cheers of the conversation but don't get into it, because they know they'll make it worse. In that sense, you and Matty have defined characters, and you have opposing personalities, leading to frequent clashes.

You leave him with the words in his mouth, without the slightest attempt to let him speak, you have no interest in hearing reproaches and cheap excuses. You also run away from your friends' arms but they don't complain, they just don't let you out of their sight for anything.

You walk to the center of the track when the song hits the chorus getting a lot of glances in the middle, but you don't care about them at all. You need to disconnect for a while from the last few hours, you need to feel something else running through your body other than anger.

When you're completely lost, you lose track of who you're dancing with. There are hands running through your body, coming and going, but you don't pay attention to them because that's when the alcohol starts to short-circuit your head. He's a boy who's about your height, has brown hair, and you can't tell the color of his eyes. He seems friendly. You don't stop dancing there because you really need to get too much dopamine out of your body because of how loaded you feel. You really don't stop dancing because you feel good, but even when this guy tries to take you away for something else, remember that it would be embarrassing for you tomorrow in front of your friends. And you don't want to give that memory to Matty when he's having such a hard time.

So you don't, you just give him your number and try to get back to your desk.

At that moment Matty does something he's never done before: he looks at you for the first time. He looks at you beyond his friendship. There's a feeling he has running through his veins the moment he finds you receiving someone else's hands inside of you that makes him want to blow up and take him off of you. He doesn't understand it, for him it's inexplicable. But then when you show up back with him, he understands.

Sure, he's known you since you wore loose shirts and sweatpants when you went to your sports classes. You grew up with them sharing their jokes and their way of life, so she considers you a sister in that sense. But he hasn't seen, so far, how much you've grown.

Genetics have had an effect on you, given you incredible proportions, and you've obviously grown in every way. When he sees you arrive on something as simple as a low shot and a muscular black, he feels like he could die the second he sees the skin reaction translucent from your stomach.

No, Matty can't be stuck with you. There's no way he fell for you. He can't, you're his best friend. He can't have feelings for the person that it would hurt him most to lose in your life. It must be the booze, it has to be. But Matty needs a change of air.

The change of air doesn't get him the best way. At the front door he sees the girl he's supposed to be celebrating her birthday with. In a fluffy leopard cover and a denim miniskirt is like Cathe walks into the bar, but without the slightest face of looking for Matty. She's there for something else, or someone else.

"Mattttttttty." You sit next to him with agility after a while. Alcohol has gone to your head after the completely psychedelic time you've been through, and now you're not angry. You just want to apologize for being so hard on me before the five of you go back to sleep at Matty's.

Exit to the disco and then sleepovers. It was amazing to you, you always had very funny pictures of your newly awakened friends leaving for a hangover. And even though you weren't left behind, you made sure everyone always had a cup of tea before sharing whatever happened last night.

"I just..i apologize for the fight." The tone of your voice takes him out of his trance of confusion. You're too drunk, and even if he's in a mess, he'll just take care of you until he knows you're safe. He always will, but more so when you're in this state. "Listen, I got you. No but...i really do. It's okay if you're sad because she didn't come, it's not the last birthday you'll have to celebrate." You drag the words from the tip of your tongue. You talk too fast and Matty laughs. "Hey! Don't you make fun of me, i'm apologizing." You push him a little with your hands.

"We weren't going to fight about this. You don't have to apologize." He pulls you forward when your body threatens to fall off the chair. Your colony floods their nostrils when the head of you is almost under his nose. You don't stop laughing even if you try. "Cathe is there."

Matty regrets talking almost instantly because he sees your face get serious, and you stop talking with that spark you had until just now. You don't keep laughing and just frown at the first expression your face may proceed.

Shit, he shouldn't have said that.

You focus it in the crowd and suppress a sigh of pure envy. You've never turned down the looks and you've never needed them, but you don't mind receiving them anyway. You know you're pretty, but when Cathe comes in, that whole mechanism falls at your feet.

Her legs so fine, her stature so perfect, her physiognomy and her whole body seems to be in the right place all the time. It's really impressive the figure he has and what he generates when he goes into places. You see how the miniskirt fits in her and you want to run to take off your pants and put on your pajamas. Well, you really understand why Matty's so after her and why he can't stop thinking about her. She's hypnotic, her waist, her hips, her breasts, her legs. And then there's you, arms crossed about to cry because the adrenaline rush just went down and you feel like you're thirteen and you're in front of a mirror for the first time.

You really wish she had a different way of showing herself, not because of the exhibition or anything like that, but you just wish her personality wasn't so sour and didn't generate so much rejection. Maybe in another universe she would fit in well with your group and they could be friends. But she just lets Matty down over and over and calls him when he gets bored and needs something else. Maybe that's what bothers you the most, knowing that he deserves something beyond her. She deserves better, maybe something like you.

No, you have to get that out of your head. Either way he'll end up marking his jaw on her in the nearest bathroom he finds to the round. Who could resist good legs and a short skirt?

"Say hello to her for me when you leave with her. Or not, better not do it." You laugh again, but now you do it with irony. "Come back to the table at four for when we leave, that's all. Go with her." You pat him on the back and swallow telling him that leaving with her is practically deadly, because it's a vice that Matty accepts to stay connected to the world. Maybe you just have to accept it.

"I won't go with her."

"Yeah, definitely not Matty."

Snort in a classic silence, which becomes awkward. Matty feels at an understand because now he can't figure out what's going on in his heart, let alone what he should do. Either option has its impact, and both are double-edged.

As a miracle or as punishment, the boys reappear in your field of vision with a bottle of champagne and a smile between their lips.

"They look perfect for each other, both damn broke." He ironizes George by moving his curly blonde hair in the air. His cheeks are hollowed out. "You know, classic." Aim at the bottle with your eyes.

"This is yours." Ross appears from your free side and stretches a vodka and coke into a small glass. His expression reflects something like, "Get drunk so you can't stand Matty, and thank him with a smile."

"How thoughtful, thanks Ross. You are so sweet." You throw him a kiss as a joke. In fact, you've always been like that with them because they usually make those kinds of jokes, but when you see Matty, he twists awkwardly, and you look at him with little understanding.

"However, you're officially eighteen Matty. I hope the next champagne we open is in a caravan going to play in some cheap pub in questionable condition." Breaks the silence Adam, uncorking the drink. "For what is coming."

Each makes a shot of the drink repeating the legend of what Adam previously said. You, even if you're away from the band, can't wish your lifelong friends the best. You expect them to succeed, and you expect them to go far. They all have enough personality to be a leading rock band, only that leap is missing, but it will inevitably come.

"When you become famous, please don't forget me." You mock but behind it there is a stop of sadness in your voice. You just know that they could be caught at any time and they'll have to leave, but maybe you'll have to stay.

"Hey, don't you dare say that." Matty automatically breaks your thoughts because he knows what you're getting into. His hand glides over yours, and without hesitation squeezes. "You are literally our little girl, we couldn't forget you."

So now vodka feels like tears. And then they get worse when the four of them are hugging you with you sitting in a chair. Their company is the most honest thing you've ever had, their friendship is the best thing that's ever happened to you.

When they split up and you're about to tell them how much you appreciate they, they all see the same scene from the same angle.

"Is that..?" Adam whispers to you from underneath. You look at it quickly and nod.

"Yes, is she."

Cathe, with the coat half-falling over her shoulders and a sweeping red top, kissing someone else who isn't exactly your best friend.

You focus the situation right next to you, not knowing if you want to test whether or not Matty is aware of the image in front of you, and then you discover that the person you're kissing is exactly the man you've been dancing before. It's definitely your lucky day.

"For God's sake." When Matty talks, the four of them turn to see him. No one can deny the widespread expression of concern. You're the one who's got Matty next to you after the hug, but he's got the look lost in betrayal.

You see everything on camera a little more scattered, but your head works more clearly when you see Matty staring at his knuckles, squeezing them until his skin turns white.

"Matty, don't." With a cold, worried look at your friends, you make them stand on the other side. Just for prevention. "Go back home."

"Yes, but not now." He speaks, completely possessed by the tone of anger and fury in him. "I might say only a word to this man." He defies when a sadistic smile appears on him.

Your head doesn't work fast enough or clear enough again, so you have to look for some quick fix before it all ends up in a bloodstain you don't want to have to heal. You just slide your right hand over it and with a kick you make it sit on the red chair. You have the solution, or so you think, and even if you'd rather not resort to punishment, maybe it'll placate this.

You look over and you don't actually see either of them around. It's the perfect time to leave.

"Do you really want me to have to see you dripping blood on your birthday?" Questions with the most influential tone you've ever used. You feel it's too condescending and you hate having to resort to the power of swaying such a marked outcome, but there's so much more at stake than that. "She is a stupid, let her go."

Your hand finds his again. The difference in temperature between the two causes the friction to generate sparks. Matty, with completely warm hands and you with your moderately cold ones. That shock makes him reconnect in a sense when he sighs.

George's murmur upsets everyone a bit, but, as Matty's best friend, he knows Matty probably doesn't expect everyone to hear him lament and feel he's being dragged. Anyway, he'll have this conversation with the four of them, but behind closed doors and when he's better. "We'll give you a moment, but please don't delay. It's four o'clock anyway, time to go."

You nod and give the three of them your best confident look, as they disappear into the crowd. Adam kisses your head as a sign of support.

"Matty, honey, breathe." You ask, speaking quietly. A tone that gives him inner peace. "It's a shit, I know. But doesn't worth it. I don't want to see you suffer anymore because of her."

The look you see below shatters you to the depths of your soul. Next time you see her, you'll kick her head in a toilet. "I'm tired of this. She just keeps hurting me over and over again even though she promises she won't do it again." His eyes made of glass are something you think you won't forget and will in fact be the cause of nightmares. You can't protect him from everything, but you hate to see him this bad.

"So maybe there's no point in continuing to fight for her." You lift the body off the seat and kiss its head with your eyes closed. "Do you want to home? We have a sleepover yet."

"You're coming with me?" He asks a moment later, putting on his blended jacket.

"Of course. I am your heavy weight." He smiles reluctantly but nods with gratitude.

They go outside and the breeze that draws the night makes them shiver. They find the boys without too much inconvenience. They look at Matty's face and then at you, but as you turn your head they understand that all is well and tranquility radiates through the bodies of the five in the cold London dawn.

"Well, it will be the most unbearably cold ten minutes." Murmurs George when he lights a cigarette. The golden chain he has around his neck rings every time he moves for how heavy it is. "I ask for the mattress on the wall."

"No way, George." Ross shoots when he hears the most comfortable mattress being stolen. "Not again."

"First-come, first-served." Adam punctuates the words making a play on them. "And if not I'll have to give everyone a pillow."

"In my own house?" Matty raises his voice pretending to hold his hand to his chest with an expression of pain. "That's not friendly."

"I'm so tired of all of you." Roll your eyes waving a smile as you look for a cigarette in your wallet. Your hands glide quickly on the bag and lighter.

They haven't started walking yet, they're just pretending to fight in the driveway while you're sitting on the street curb with the cigarette between your black nails. In a puddle of water you see your reflection and you're scared how much the black shadow has run out of your eyelid.

"Hey, can we share?" Matty's hand extends almost to your neck to help you get up once they stop arguing about who gets the best bed.

"You are incredibly insufferable, friend of mine." You take their hand and the rubbing of both of them leaves you goosebumps but for the moment you don't separate your hand, so there you are, clutching your best friend's hand. "You owe me a lot of cigarettes."

"Guys, when is the kiss?" George approaches you and you both look at him with a fixed, uncomfortable expression. "Yes, of course." He seems to come to a conclusion by the click he makes. "We're leaving. It's starting to get more cold."

"Tell it to me" For the first time, everyone realizes that you haven't worn any coats and notices how your skin stiffens on contact with the air. No, it really has nothing to do with the black hair next to you.

"On the way, guys. That bed won't win itself." George gives the order to leave somehow, and everybody starts walking.

You and Matty don't let go, and that makes eyes fly to you every once in a while.

"Do you want the jacket?" Matty whispers as he stretches out his free hand and takes the cigarette out of your mouth.

"Dude!" You complain by sharpening your voice. "No, i'm fine, really." You answer the question and even though he doesn't agree, he doesn't ask any more.

There's a time when the street gets narrower and you have to be closer together. It's also the moment when sleep leaves Matty down and ends up leaning on the curve of your neck almost without even being able to control it. Follow the impulse of needing to close his eyes.

When he realizes it, he looks at you like you're a little kid caught in a prank. "Lie down, I'll let you know when we arrive."

He nods and returns to that space again. The hands are loosened for convenience, but your right hand then meets the other hand and hooks again.

Then George looks at you and raises his eyebrows with too much interest in you. You look at him with a confused expression and do not stop moving your head to deny any sentence that applies to you.

The next five blocks are not silent, because the jokes decorate the atmosphere and now the discussion lies on which is the best drink for each occasion. They always have these kinds of debates when they leave the clubs. You feel Matty's heart rate drop to a completely different one, you know he's falling asleep, and as much as you hate having to wake him up, you do when they get home.

Leaning on the porch of the house of the lowest of the four, they all begin to yawn one after the other as they wait for the door to open. The moment the lock clicks, there is a tumult and bustle followed by the sound of footsteps running from the door to the living room.

When you find yourself the only one left outside, you go in and lock it. The cozy home envelops you and little by little the cold begins to cease. You're home in many ways.

"George! I thought you want the one at the end!" When you step foot in the living room, George is on top of Matty fighting for the biggest mattress, which is actually the only one placed horizontally unlike the others, placed vertically.

"I changed my taste." Matty has his head literally buried in the mattress, and George has half of his body suspended in the air as his shoes gravitationally swing. The best part is that both hairs are so similar that the only thing that distinguishes them is color, but now they seem to be joined.

You take advantage then that no one sees you to portray the moment with a quick photo on your phone.

"Do you want this? "I'm going to the couch." Adam looks at you and silently points to the sofa, and then to the mattress he's on.

"No, I like the sofa." You sneak out while the other two keep fighting, and you get close to Adam and Ross, who are actually already asleep. "Oh, he's a sweetie."

Ross's body goes up and down quietly when he's fully asleep, and it's really fast how soon it takes to get there. You sit at the feet of that mattress and watch the fight laughing with Adam, until he is overcome by sleep with a final yawn.

"Good night." You smile at him tenderly as he repeats the action.

"Hey, guys. Can you make less noise if you will continue fighting? These two have fallen asleep." You ask in a soft murmur. Both stop automatically, but neither gives way off the mattress.

"I'll go take off my makeup, when I get back I want to sleep in peace. Stop fighting over a bed, God." You get up gently trying not to wake Ross and walk out the door.

Obviously you don't have enough to remove make-up, but soapy water always saves you in cases like this. So you're ready when you see Matty's black glasses on the bathroom shelf. He's stopped using them lately because they make him insecure, but you think they look great.

When you come back, they both play "rock, paper or scissors" to define who will go to the free mattress, next to the sofa. Unfortunately for Matty's ego, he's the loser.

"Good night, George." You greet him from the door frame and he returns it with a smile. Even though he's the best at being annoying and making a joke out of everything, they both love each other and it's not something you need to prove to know it's true.

"Bye honey." While he's taking off his shoes, you do the same with your shoes and then you fall right on the couch. You've slept there a thousand times.

"You, here. Me, sofa." Verbalizes Matty as he can when he sits next to you, only with the difference in height between the two resting methods.

"Stop talking Matty. Sleep, there." Your head touches the pillow and the whole day falls on you. Your voice is completely tamed by sleep.

There's a few minutes of total silence where everybody seems to be asleep, but neither Matty or you are really doing it. Maybe you two need to talk about everything that happened in this night, but you don't know if it matters that much.

"Are you awake?" Whispers Matty, turning half a body to you.

"I am." You answer without moving. "Do you need something?"

"Can we talk about the night? I feel i got a lot to say." Your eyes open and you want to hold a sigh before time. "Come here."

You slide down, wrapped in your blanket so you don't lose heat, and sit in the free space you get.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with me when i get dumb like this." The hair falls off his forehead and there are strands hanging on him, it's a complete mess. "It was a bucket of cold water, but I guess I should have seen it coming."

"Are you okay? I know i was being rude all the night but i guess this is hurting you." You drag your body until your hips are level with their face, and they can look at each other while they have this conversation.

"It does, it's a awful feeling." You smile sadly and he trivializes it. "It would happen anyways, My fatal flaw is falling in love with people who will break my heart. But it's okay, it always comes back to be."

"Matty, that's really sad." He nods, but back, it makes it less important. "What?"

"It's just that even when it's this bad, you're always there. So it could never be wrong." His fingers slide down to take your wrist and wrap it around. "Thanks for taking care of myself. You know i appreciate you a lot, right?"

"I know. I do it too." The yolk of his thumb caresses your skin. "It's nothing, I'm here for that. Can I sleep here? I'm literally frozen."

"Yes yes, of course." He moves his body back a few inches until he considers your body to fit in well. "It's enough space?"

"Yes, sweetie." You slide your knees down on the mattress and your head bounces off the mattress. "Oh, I didn't tell you. The boy she was kissing tried to kiss me before."

"What, really?" Matty asks restless but in his eyes you can see that he is outraged. "He's a fool too for letting you go."

"Lately the people is being really dumb, but not us." Now you don't control your words because your thoughts open up ahead of him. Then you don't stop talking when a completely erratic idea crosses your mind. "If we are both single and reach forty, we should get into a couple. It would be funny."

Matty is getting a little closer to leaving the astral plane every minute. And that offer gives him a minimal hope to hold on to as he continues to discover that maybe if he omits his public crush on you he can enjoy you just as much. He can't lie to himself and he knows it, but in fact now that he has you closer than ever he has all the impulses running through his head. The urge to plant you a kiss, or to just lure you to it and make you sleep hugged by it, but it's content to have your forehead on his chest.

"Do you think it would work?" He asks repressing hope in him. Everything has now been painted a new color.

"Yeah, it's about us." You arrange the blanket in the best way so that it will shelter both of you and you close your eyes. "We'll be alright.

- - -

When Matty wakes up a few hours later, it's the lack of you against him that makes him rise abruptly to look for you for fear that something's happened and you've had to leave.

He calms down when he sees you sitting on the step to the yard, which continues past the kitchen and lets the smell of freshly brewed coffee flood her nostrils. He admires you from afar, as he always has, hoping one day to have coffee with you and hug you whenever you're cold. And then he just realizes something that maybe he should have known a long time ago. He looks at you with the purest love possible, and he knows he's never loved anyone like that. He knows it's true and it's healthy.

He goes back to the living room when he finds George awake. He looks at him without saying anything, but knowing that Matty has something to tell him. With them it's always that, words aren't always necessary.

"I think I'm in love with her."

"Yes, you sure are." George waved a smile that looked more like a sigh. "Go back to sleep, hysterical."

george could be me when he wants a comfortable mattress.

oh, i had a lot of fun writing these three parts of matty's birthday. def i would do it again.

let me know what you think about it, see you soon <333

my taglist is open so if you wanna be add just let me know!!

#matty healy #matty the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #the 1975 fic #matty healy 1975 #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader #matty35 #birthday matty

[xxhispieceofheavenxx]

And I'll watch || Regulus Black

Summary: When their seventh year comes to an end, Regulus wants nothing more than to live his life with the woman he's loved for years by his side. Fate has different plans for him, despite his wishes.

CW: angst, mentions of suicide (very brief), French!Regulus, depressed!Regulus, a hint of emotional abuse/dependency, just Regulus being very sad about life, sad Black!brothers talk because they are my boys that constantly hurt my heart and they deserve better than they ever got :(

Word count: 2k words

Hello!! I'm back with an angsty Regulus one-shot. I have to say, I'm not really good with angst, but I tried my best, and I think it came out quite well. I might have gotten a bit teary-eyed towards the end. This was requested, so I hope you liked it, anon! Thank you! Let me know what you think and on what wip I should focus on next!!

Request are open

Masterlist

Regulus watches on as a stampede of students moves swiftly through the corridor. Everyone carries a smile, clearly elated that their seventh year has come to an end. He sees people laughing and smiling as they hug their close friends; some look sad at the prospect of leaving the place they have been calling home for the last seven years but excited nonetheless.

He looks through the crowd, searching for her face. She is easy to spot for his watchful eyes. She stands off to the side, hugging one of her roommates, a big smile plastered on her face as her friend's tears wet her school robes. Even if he cannot hear her words, he knows what she is saying, reassuring words leaving her lips as she promises to keep in contact. Regulus waits for her to finish her goodbyes, a small smile on his own lips. He stays on his spot, even as his roommates and friends go over to him to say their goodbyes, exchanging pats on their backs.

She turns around in the sea of people looking for something, or rather someone. As soon as she locks eyes with his, a smile spreads on her face. Regulus returns it, excited at the mere prospect that she was looking for him. He raises his hand in a wave, beckoning her to get closer. She starts pushing through the crowd to get to his side.

A puff of air escapes her lips when she reaches him. "Ready to get out of here?" She smiles and grabs his hand, pulling him away before he can answer.

They make their way through the crowd until they reach the big entrance doors, where fewer people are gathered to say their goodbyes. Despite how easy it is to navigate around the small groups, she doesn't let go of his hand. Regulus smiles as he soothes her skin with his thumb.

Today is the last day of their life as students, a coming of age of sorts. They will no longer have to worry about homework or quidditch matches. It is easy to spot in the air how many mixed feelings there are, some happy, excited, others sad, perhaps even dreadful. Regulus feels invigorated; his life is about to change. It already is changing, and as he looks at the young woman holding his hand, he can feel the nerves rising through his chest and up his throat.

"Can you believe it's over?" Her voice calls out as they thread through the grass, leaving behind the noisy voices.

"It's weird, but yes, I can believe it." She picks up her pace, making both of them go faster, her goal to reach the Black Lake before anyone else.

"It's just… everything is going to be so different." She sighs, a mixture of dreaminess and doubt. "I mean, Pandora is engaged, Barty is ready to work with his dad at the Ministry, Susan is moving abroad… Everything is changing so fast."

"I know, but we knew it was coming."

"Yes. Doesn't make things less difficult, mostly when I don't know what I'm going to do now. My only option is going back to my parents and working at their shop, it seems."

"It's not your only option." His voice is soft as he stops in his tracks, letting go of her hand.

"What? Should we go and travel through Europe? Maybe you'll finally teach me some French." She stops a few steps ahead, turning to face him.

His face is solemn, an earnest look in his eyes. Regulus shakes his head, opening his mouth. No words seem to come out, his throat drying and his stomach flipping with nerves. The looks in his eyes, the hopeful, loving twinkle, must give him away as a knowing look takes over her features.

"No." She shakes her head as she moves backwards, turning to get away from him. "No."

"Please." His steps are quick as he catches up to her, getting in front so she cannot keep moving forwards. "You have to hear me out." His hands gesture to his chest. "I've loved you since the moment I saw you. You have to understand. I've tried to stop, to give you space, but it isn't working."

"No." She looks past him, trying to avoid his face, which has more emotion displayed on it than ever.

"Please. I've done everything. I've tried to let you know many times. But, but you wouldn't let me, which is fine." Her gaze turns to the floor as his voice fills with even more emotion. "Please, I just need you to consider it. Just once, please."

"Stop, please." Her voice is almost inaudible.

"I've done everything. I've worked so hard so you would see me. I've changed so much for you, which is fine, I'm happy I did." His knees start bending, trying to get her to look into his eyes. "And I did everything because… because I figured you'll love me." Her eyes close as if she is feeling pain from his words. "And I know, I know I'm not good enough, and I'll never be this wonderful man of-"

"Yes, you are. Reggie, you're a wonderful guy, too good for me." Her eyes look directly at his, her hand grabbing his arm, bringing him close. "And I wish that I could love you the way you want me to, but I just-. I can't."

"Yes, you can." His voice wobbles as the tears pool in his eyes, threatening to fall. "You can." It's just a whisper.

"I can't change how I feel."

Regulus turns his face, looking towards the floor, avoiding her eyes. His lips parted, ragged breathing as if she had just knocked the air out of him. In a way she has; he has imagined this day, this moment thousands of times and even when she said no in his thoughts, he never felt like this. He never felt the sharp pain in his chest, the way his throat is closing on him, how his tears are almost spilling down his face as the woman he wishes to spend the rest of his life with crushes his dreams.

"I can't do it, Reggie. I'm so sorry." Her voice is a whisper, emotion taking over her as she tightens her grip on his arm. "I'm so, so sorry, Reggie."

He takes a deep breath and steps back, needing to create distance between them. Needing to breathe anything other than the lingering scent of her shampoo on her hair.

"I can't love anyone else. I only love you." His voice is monotone, the words feeling foreign in his mouth.

"Reggie…" His eyes don't meet hers, he can't bring himself to do so. "We'd make a horrible couple. We-"

"No, we wouldn't. It would be-"

"We would be a disaster, Re-"

"We wouldn't be a disaster, we would-"

"I tried! Reggie, I tried and I can't." She raises her voice, making his words die in his throat.

He finally meets her eyes. They shine with intensity and love, just not the love he wishes she felt for him.

"Then why does everyone expect it?" New emotions make his voice louder. "Evan expects it, Barty expects it, Pandora; everyone expects it!" His hand extends to grab hers. "Say yes and let's be happy." Her hand moves out of his reach, she steps closer and grabs his arms.

"I can say yes, truly, so I'm not going to say it." He gets closer to her face, wanting to touch her lip with his but not doing so. "And you'll see that I'm right eventually, and you'll thank me for not saying yes."

Regulus steps away, momentarily looking at her. "I'll be dead before I thank you for it."

"Reggie." She steps closer, trying to grab at him once again.

"I'll kill myself before that happens."

"Reggie, don't say that!" She watches as he walks away. "Reggie." She starts walking, trying to catch up to him. "Reggie! Listen, you'll find someone." She reaches his back, putting her hand there, taking hold of his hand. He swiftly brushes her off. "You'll find a lovely, pure-blood woman, that your parents will approve of. And she will adore you." She keeps her pace with his. "And she will make the perfect wife and mother, and daughter-in-law. She'll be everything I could never be!"

"Yes, you could." He stops and turns to her. "You could."

"Look at me! I'm awkward-"

"I love you."

"And I'm not a pure-blood-"

"I love you."

"I'm weird and you would be ashamed of me,-"

"I love you."

"We would fight constantly, I could never meet your parents' expectations." She reaches closer to him, pointing to her chest. "I'd hate elegant society." She points her finger at his. "You'd hate that I don't fit in. And we would be unhappy, and we would wish that we had never done it and everything would be horrible." She pants as her words die. Regulus' jaw ticks as he looks up from the floor.

His lips wobble.

"Anything else?"

"No, nothing else."

"Alright." His voice is breathy and defeated as he turns away from her once more.

"Except that," He turns back around, nodding to her with his face tight. She pauses, looking around before she meets his eyes again. "I don't believe I was made to be in love." He pushes out a breath. "I'm happy as I am. I love living in my own little world too much to give it up."

"I think you're wrong about that."

"No."

"I think you'll find love. I think you'll find a man that you want to share your world with, and you'll love him with everything in you because that's the way you do things." He pauses. "And I'll watch." A stubborn tear finally runs down his cheek.

Regulus turns around, defeated, and continues to walk away from her. She stays, watching his back get further and further away from her. Both of their happiness stripped away with just a conversation. Her frame falls to the floor with a thud, curling her legs into herself as she cries sour tears.

With quick steps, he marches back into the castle and down the stair to the Slytherin dorm. He gathers his belongings that he packed the night before, when he was still hopeful. Before his life came crashing down, before his dreams of twinkling eyes and beautiful smiles turned into nightmares. Everything is his fault, he knows. She has never owed him anything, and she doesn't now either. She has happily given him her friendship for years; that should be enough for him. But it is not. Nothing that she could ever give him would be enough for him, he realises. Because Regulus knows that she, no matter how hard he tried, would never allow him into her dreams and passions. The knowledge of it doesn't take away the pain.

#regulus black #regulus #regulus black x reader #regulus x reader #regulus black angst #regulus angst #regulus black x reader angst #regulus x reader angst #marauders angst #marauders #sirius black angst #sirius angst #black brothers angst #sirius and regulus angst #fem!reader #regulus black x fem!reader #regulus x fem!reader

[melloween-candie]

Trouble [Judd Birch Fanfic]

Prologue

Summary

You were the new kid in school, meaning you were fresh meat. You didn't know much about the school or the area you lived in. You were completely oblivious and naive, so much so you didn't even realized you had a growing number of perverts following you around. However, you weren't completely hopeless. You managed to make a few good friends who warned you about a lot of things- including Judd Birch. He wasn't known for his friendly attitude; in fact, he caused chaos wherever he went. You tried your hardest to avoid trouble, but it came to you anyway- in the form of Judd Birch.

Warning! HUMAN RECOURSE AND BIG MOUTH SPOILERS!

Word Count: 1,083

Prologue, Chap. 1 ... [ON HOLD]

Big Mouth Fandom

Fandom Masterlists

/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/

- Conference Room -

***Connie's Pov***

"What's the big idea, Connie? Why are we here?" Asked Emmi.

"Well, I'm glad you asked Emmi, you see. I want to go over this client's case files."

"Who?" Emmi opened the file that was laid in front of her. "Y/n L/n. Female. Age 10." She skips through some of the details. 

"She has depression, anxiety, and a somewhat low self-esteem," Emmi's face shifted to a sad one. "How sad... she's only ten."

"Yeah, well, it gets worse." Said Cat. "Say's here; she's a foster kid. She was placed in the system after an unexpected visit from child services. Apparently, the dad was very abusive."

"Oh great!" Tito said. "I can already feel the overwhelming emotions this kid is emitting!" She started scattering around the room, flying a duplicating herself.

"TITO!" Yelled connie. "Stop that!"

Tito calms down a bit, and Connie continues to speak. "Now listen, the whole reason why I asked all of you to be here today was because I don't want to see this girl in prison. I don't want her to be dead in the next 10 years... I've been doing this job for years, and every time I got a client who was in her position- they'd always grow to be less than what they deserved. Now I know this isn't like me, but I want all of you to work with me on this!" 

"Oww, of course, Connie! I want the best for this cutie too!" Emmi said, holding your picture up. "I mean, come on! Who would want pain for this adorable thing?!" 

"I mean, I'm fine with that." Said Cat. 

"Good!" 

"Now, wait!" Tito chimes in. "Do I not get a say in this too-?"

"NO!" They all yelled.

"You're bad enough!" Emmi said. 

"Yeah, no offense, but we'd rather try and get rid of you and the kitty as fast as possible so this little baby can have a nice teenage hood." 

"That's fair." Says Cat as he purrs on his chair. 

"Good!" Says Connie as she ends the meeting.

- Y/n's L/n File - 

Age: 10

Birthday: (Your b-day)

Sex: Female (Sorry for anyone who was hoping otherwise)

Hormone Monster: Connie

Anxiety Masqito: Tito

Depression Kitty:  Cat Stevens

Lovebug/Hate worm: Emmi

[This shows that you're young and inexperienced. You tend to get nervous around new things/people in general. You also tend to daydream a lot and are slightly clumsy. You also tend to get into your own head quite a lot.]

2 years later...

Character Info 

You were adopted by a black, thick businesswoman. Who cares for you deeply. She is a sarcastic and classy woman who is extremely smart. She is also a very hard-working woman who tends to be tough on you but overall wants to see you succeed in life. 

 She was recently laid off due to budget cuts. The company she was working for went bankrupt. Luckily, she was rich enough to keep you both afloat long enough for her to find a good new job. 

It wasn't hard for her to find a new, better-paying job due to her resume. Now, she works in the human resource department of a company that specializes in human behavior here at Bridgeton.

She doesn't have any biological children, and she doesn't have a spouse. 

You used to visit your biological family when you were little but quickly cut off all contact with your father when you turned 12. Your mother died a year after you and your siblings were taken... some say it was due to your father, but no one really knows. 

In the end, there'd be days where you wished you could see your siblings again, but the foster family said it would be best not to do so in case the father tried anything... since they weren't adopted yet. Meaning the father still had rights to custody...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BONUS

When everyone left the conference room... Connie came rushing back in... she was holding a file. On the front of that said file, it said-

⚠️Confidential⚠️

- Judd Birch's Future Files -

Age: 18

Birthday: (I don't know/1998) 

Sex: Male

Addiction Angel: Dante (Random date saying when he's gonna get addicted... I don't know when Judd got addicted to Jack Daniels.) Addiction: Y/n, Jack Daniels

"Wait... Judd's gonna get addicted to my girl! Ooooh~" Connie giggles as she continues reading his file.

Anxiety: Tito (Date and time of when he got anxiety. It also says the reason.)

"Ugh." She rolls her eyes.

Logic Rock: Van

Hate worm: Dax (He's just naturally broody- and even as a lovebug, he tends to be very bruff and rude in nature. He has a more muscular build, but as a hate worm, he's more slim and has a dark green veiny look with yellow glowing eyes in the dark. He's also a raddle snake. Was born through Judd's love for chaos and was turned REALLY QUICKLY, when Judd was very little, into a hate worm after realizing Judd couldn't be himself without being punished for it. Because of him and the addiction Judd has for you- Dax tends to make Judd act slightly yandere for you... Like Dax is very mean to everyone who hurts or goes near you- as if you belong to Judd and Judd alone.) MADE UP CHARACTER

Connie gasps! "Oh, my, god!... Dax becomes a hate worm...! I should probably do something about that..." Connie pauses to think. "Nah- he's hot either way~"

Need demon: Maverick (He's more greedy than the others, and he's more quiet. Has a very deep voice and tends to hide in the dark. Laughs like Judd...too. He isn't fairly big, though, he's a normal size for a teen, and his color is pitch-spotty black. Doesn't get out much and works well with Dante- even though Dante tends to get uncomfortable around the man...) MADE UP CHARACTER

[This shows that Judd is more into the darker kind of humor. Who doesn't get horny much at all... He's also smarter than he looks- like he just knows what he's doing (thanks to Van ~) He also has anger issues but tends to throw his anger through actions-]

[Example:]

[His parents piss him off- He slashes their tires...]

[He gets grounded- He sneaks out...]

[He doesn't tend to show his feelings much at all, though... Obviously.]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connie closes the files... "I probably shouldn't have read that, but I honestly can't wait to see what happens once these two meet~" 

A/n

Lowkey, same Connie, LOL! Anyway, I had to make up some fake characters for Judd's files- just cause I felt like the characters in those categories that existed in the show didn't fit the role very well with what I was trying to do.

(Also, I have a Wattpad account where I rewrite my stories from here and post them there- Reason being is cause Wattpad tends to show authors more details- Example: it tells us how many people has read our stories. So, if you see this story on Wattpad, or any other stories of mine- just know that it's my work. I don't steal other people's work!)

#big mouth fandom #big mouth fanfiction #big mouth netflix #judd birch #judd birch x reader #judd x reader #high school au #human resources #netflix tv shows #fanfiction #fanfic #big mouth judd birch #big mouth judd birch x reader #new girl #romance #drama #big mouth story #prologue

[misspearly1]

One Year Anniversary Celebration Post

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

WC: 3.1K

Summary: No one is spared the difficulty and hardship of a rough patch in a relationship. Couples are bound to experience it at some point, it's expected, but when you're going through an exceptionally hard rough patch with your partner Joel, so bad that it seems all hope is lost, is there a chance that your relationship can be saved? Or is it too late?

Warnings: 18+ Content. Minors DNI. Relationship issues. Joel yelling at reader. Mentions of prior arguments. ANGST with a happy ending. Lots of kissing, apologising and making up. Smut. Mentions of self-pleasure. A little bit of nipple play. Unprotected PIV sex. Fluff.

AN: Ok ya'll. I'm not usually into angst, or particularly good at writing it, but I wanted to change things up a little and give it a go with some real-life issues. Arguments in a relationship is a natural thing, so I started off there. I added a little twist in this story too, just because I felt like it hehehe. I hope you enjoy the read, my loves.

Song Appreciation: I don't usually add this sort of thing, but I wanted to add a couple songs that I listened to while writing this story up. They put in those angsty feels, and they're just beautiful pieces of music too! Turning Page by Sleeping at Last. State Lines by Novo Amor. Where's My Love by SYML.

-

Rough patches in relationships are a scary thing. It’s frightening to not know if there’s an end to the constant battling. It’s depressing when it feels like you have reached your limit and are ready to throw in the towel.   

That’s the sort of rough patch that you face with your partner, Joel. Somethings off between you both, it’s been building for months now, you can feel it, but every time you bring it up with him, he just brushes it off. Brushes you off. Today, you are feeling that familiar emotion of ‘checking out’ of the relationship after trying to talk things out with him again and it terrifies you. It terrifies you so much that you’ve almost become numb to it. 

It started off in the morning with something minor when he awoke in a bad mood. The man’s entitled to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you’ve had your fair share in the past before, but to wake up and take that anger out on you is different. Every little thing was annoying him today and instead of taking a minute to cool off or understanding the source of what was bothering him so much, he yelled at you when you asked if he was okay. 

To an extent, you understand that it’s annoying to be asked if you’re okay when you’re quite visibly not okay, but his explosive reaction to your question was not warranted. After spending a whole minute, shocked by him raising his voice with you like that, you were the one to take a minute to cool off. It hurt to leave the house this morning on those terms with him, it hurt when he didn’t try to stop you and it hurts even more right now when you come home, and he’s not said a word to you yet. 

You approached him in the lounge where he was watching TV and said hello, but the silence he returned was excruciating. He’s still mad, but whatever reason he has to be mad with you is just not fair. You did nothing wrong and as much as you feel the urge to raise your voice with him, to tell him how wrong he is for shouting at you this morning, and to have the audacity to be mad at you right now, you were just too exhausted to argue. 

“Joel,” Your voice cracks as you try to gain his attention, but to no avail. He just closed his eyes with a subtle shake of his head, as if to say, ‘not now’. “I um… I just wanted to let you know that I can’t take much more of this so when you’re ready, I’d really like to resolve our issues. We can’t keep putting them off and hoping it will go away, because it’s clear that they aren’t going anywhere.” You explain calmly, though your voice was shaky with anger, you still don’t want to initiate a war of words and turn around to head up stairs instead. There’s nothing left to say, you’ve voiced your needs and it’s up to him now. 

Making your way through your bedroom and entering the bathroom, you closed the door behind you and turned the shower on to wash away today’s sorrows. The steady stream of warm water will ease the headache behind your puffy red eyes and relieve some of the tension. You’re all cried out for today and besides, you don’t want to cry any more than what you already have. 

The shower felt like a safe place, a place where you could momentarily forget about all of your problems, or a place where you can sob about them. And considering you don’t want to shed any more tears, you opted to think about all of the good moments you have with Joel instead of the ugly. You still love him, and you always will, it’s just that you miss those good moments. 

You miss the little things the most. For instance, the way he would gaze at you from afar when he thinks you can’t see him. He would look at you like he’s falling in love all over again. The way he would talk to you about anything and everything, even if he was rambling about absolute nonsense. The three o'clock in the morning chats in bed were the best. Always, without a doubt, the conversation would end with both of you laughing like idiots, or in a deep state of relaxation, snuggling cosily. The little acts of kindness: paying you a compliment here or there, making you a hot beverage when he makes one for himself or leaving little notes beside the bed when he’s up and out of the house before you even wake up. 

You miss everything that you and Joel used to be, and the difference from then to now hurts so much. Rough patches in relationships are a scary thing, but couples get through them. They fight with love, not with loathe. And lately, the love that you give Joel is not reciprocated and sex has become almost non-existent. He’s always tired, and whenever he is in the mood, you’re tired and not in the mood. You’ve become so depraved and neglected of his loving touch lately that you take care of your sexual needs yourself, but it doesn’t feel the same. It never does. 

The picture of Joel’s drunk in love expression appears behind your eyes as you think fondly of the good times in your relationship. You visualize the way his face contorts beautifully when he watches you fall apart for him. The raised furrowed brows, mouth falling open with satisfying groans spilling past his lips, praising you through over-stimulation until you tell him it’s too much. That look on his face sometimes pushes you to climax again for him. He would look so hungry and satiated at the same time, so aroused and pleased, or so proud of himself and wishful to witness the peak of your orgasm endlessly. 

You squeeze your legs together thinking about these things and feel the plentiful slick of your desire soaking your cunt. There’s so much of it and it physically causes an ache in your muscles, desperate-no, begging to be stretched and massaged by his fingers or his cock. The frustration builds at a rapid rate, but you’re too upset to take care of it yourself. You want your partner, the man who you swore would be your partner for life, to be the one to take care of you, not your own hands. Not tonight. 

Taking as long as you possibly could in the shower before your skin started to prune, you climbed out and avoided looking in the mirror, fearing that if you saw the broken look in your own eyes, you’d just burst into tears. You reach for your robe hanging up beside Joel’s on the hook, ignoring the memories popping into your mind of you and him sharing a shower together, and pull it over your body before tying it off at the front. And after towel drying your hair, you don’t even bother with brushing it as you are too mentally exhausted. 

Opening the bathroom door and feeling a pang of disappointment that Joel wasn’t waiting for you on the other side, it was wishful thinking and it felt like another hurtful kick when you’re already down. You know sleep isn’t going to come easy tonight, so in order to combat the struggle that’s coming, you move towards the record player and play some soft, ambient music on a low level. 

Already working its magic, the music helps soothe your current state of mind as you look for a pair of pajamas to wear. Bringing the record player in the bedroom was actually your idea to help Joel sleep when he suffers with nightmares and you didn’t think you would be using for a similar reason. You move towards the bed and drop your pajamas on top before burying your face into your hands with a shooting stab of pain in your temples. It was sharp and brief, leaving a dull ache behind. 

Using your thumbs, you rub your temples gently to ease the tension when suddenly, you’re startled by a large presence against your back. The warmth of Joel’s breath relaxes your nerves and the contact of his nose brushing across your earlobe makes you shudder. He reaches out to hold you and when his hands landed on your hips, your knees buckled, causing you to stumble back, almost as if you collapsed into his arms. Your head lolls back as you look away, too distraught to look in his eyes yet, but welcoming his embrace by sighing breathily, a sound that releases some of the stress. 

The man hears that sound in your voice loud and clear then proceeds to act on it by taking advantage of the way you’re tilting your head away from him. His lips, warm and supple, meeting the exposed skin on your neck make you gasp softly, your eyes squeezing shut to stop the new wave of tears from the embrace you’ve yearned for: a kiss, a simple kiss was enough to reduce you to tears. He moved up your neck, nipping a path that pimples your skin with goosebumps because of his wiry beard and his breath bellowing across your skin again made you feel weak in the knees again. It was shaky and stuttered, the slight whimper he produced sounded torn and fragile before he gulped back the lump in his throat. You could hear how broken he was by a single breath. 

Still, both of you were too wrapped up in the heat of your emotions to utter a single word. You wanted to say his name, moan his name actually, but it was stuck in the back of your throat, not ready to be vocalized. And Joel is feeling the exact same thing. He wanted to say sorry, you could tell by the way he shook his head, the way his breath began to quicken, and his lips trembled through his kisses on the skin behind your ear. You could feel the sheer need to apologize from the way he was gripping your hips and keeping you close, as if he’s pleading, screaming, for you to stay here, not physically, but mentally stay here with him, here in this relationship. 

Joel didn’t need to speak; his actions were speaking on his behalf. The direction of his hand moving up your body to gently hold your throat, tilting your head back to give him more access, that action spoke for him, and it was reassuring your doubts about his love. His arm slipping across your stomach, just under your breasts, pulling you in close as if he were afraid to ever let go again, reassured you that he’s not going anywhere. And finally at last, the way he tilted your face to look in his eyes, his blotchy red and completely wrecked eyes with new tears staining his cheeks, spoke of sorrow and guilt for his mistakes. He opens his mouth to say something, but where does he even begin to say sorry? Words simply couldn’t express his regret. 

A sniffle escapes you at the expression on his face, one that you’ve seen from Joel twice before and it still haunts your memories. The man is deeply pained to show such extremities of his emotions like this. He wanted to speak but couldn’t voice what he wanted to say and continued to let his actions speak for him cupping your cheek to pull you in, his thumb dragging across your skin to catch the tears falling your eyes. It made him choke to see what he’s put you through and he leaned in hesitantly, as if questioning himself worthy or not for a kiss. Your eyes darted down to his lips with the faintest whine exiting your throat, a noise that made him close the gap slowly. 

One kiss he planted before pulling back and hovering for a few moments, his eyes roaming the expanse of your face like he was memorizing it, like this was the last time he’d ever hold you. You could see his thinking process, could visually see the panicked look in his eyes at the thought of losing you right before he leaned in again to kiss you again, fervently this time. You moaned and parted your lips, inviting him in to express just how much he loves you and he did. 

Joel did more than just slip his tongue inside your parted slip and express how much he loves you; he dropped his hand to yank on the ties of your robe too, opening it up to expose your body for him to admire. The sudden shift in tension was palpable, powerful. The sorrow remained, but arousal and desire took over, clouding your mind with passion as he pulled the robe off your body eagerly. The item of clothing dropped to the floor and kicked up a draft of wind to glide up your legs, the cool air hitting your cunt making you feel just how wet you were. It was worse than before in the shower, the amount of it leaving a mess between your upper thighs. 

Turning around in Joel’s arms, you reach for his belt, but he bats your hands away and begins walking you backward until your legs meet the edge of the bed. Then, and only then, did he break off from the kiss to pull his shirt over his head before crashing his lips back onto yours, the quickness of his actions pushing you back to lay down. His shoes and pants came off even quicker, and the moan erupting from his throat when positioning himself between your legs was heavy with frustration. He is just as desperate to be loved, if not more, than you are.  

After he lines himself up at your entrance, he grabs the back of your thigh and uses it as leverage before rolling his hips forward slowly, burying himself inch by inch and savouring the sensation of your tight heat squeezing him. You mewl through it all until he’s buried good and deep, then you reach out to pull his arms where you want them most: one wrapped behind your head, and the other holding your upper arm. 

“Y/N.” He grunts your name, at last, breathlessly before pushing you further up the bed and carefully distributing his weight over your body. The man had you boxed in, surrounding you exactly how you like it as he began to grind in and out of your cunt at a slow pace. Using the hairs on his mound to stimulate your clit and draw out the filthiest noises you could produce, so many emotions were fading away. Not completely, but they were easing up with every second you near your climax. 

“Joel,” You moaned his name and it felt so good too. It felt good to not only hear the sound of your own voice without the heartbreak, but it also felt good just to say his name pleasurably. His eyes remained glued to your face, watching your expression soften with bliss flooding your senses as you clung onto his shoulders. Your nails dug into his skin harshly, causing him to gasp and wince for a moment before he leans down to rest his forehead against yours. His deep, guttural grunts blew across your face, almost making your eyes roll shut with pleasure from how satisfying they sounded to your ears. 

Squeezing his cock with a vice-like grip and throwing your head back with a crying moan, the man took advantage of the opening you were giving him yet again and ducked his head to take your hardened nipple inside his mouth, the added stimulation practically shoving you over the edge. The ecstasy of your orgasm was fierce and intense, bringing you to the brink of tears once more as you feel so high. Although it was a mixture of happy and sad tears, you just felt so euphoric to even focus on anything other than the sound of his groaning. It was beautiful. His voice is so utterly beautiful and attractive. Feeling you fall apart around him was intoxicating for the man. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” He gasps and whines seconds before pulling out to spill hot ropes of his seed across your lower abdomen, painting your skin like a canvas. “Fuuuck… Babydoll.” He growls deeply, his voice making you pulse around nothing and yearn to feel him fill you up with his spend instead. He breathes heavily while coming down from cloud nine, but the sound of your voice brings him back to reality. 

“Joel,” Your voice cracks as you try to gain his attention and he quickly opens his eyes to be struck with disorientation and light-headedness. It was a dream, he was dreaming. He turns to look at you standing in the doorway of the lounge, leaning against the frame as you begin to tell him what’s on your mind and what your needs are for this relationship to be saved. “I um… I just wanted to let you know that I can’t take-”

“I know.” Joel cuts you off abruptly, shaking his head with a panicked look in his eyes. “Baby, I know what you’re gonna say… Come over here, please.” Beckoning you over with his hand held out, the look of remorse was evident in his expression, and you jumped at the chance to try and fix things. You take his hand and sit down on the table in front of him, feeling the anxiety resonating from his shakiness as he holds you tightly. 

“Darlin’, I can’t explain what’s just happened to me right now, but… Fuck! It felt like a sign, and I know you can’t take much more. I know we need to resolve our issues because they’re not going anywhere.” He explains and your mouth falls open with surprise as it was exactly what you were about to say to him before he cut you off. “I promise to do better. I’ll communicate better, we’ll talk this out and do whatever it takes and… Christ, I’m so sorry for yelling at yer this morning. It was wrong of me. You didn’t do anything and it’s not your fault.” The man trembles as he speaks, the tears quickly welling up in his bloodshot eyes. 

“Oh, Joel,” You sob, your eyes also welling up with tears. “You can’t imagine how much I needed to hear you say that baby.” You surge forward and throw your arms around his neck, releasing the emotions you held onto all day about him shouting at you this morning and about all the issues that have been building up for months. 

“Actually, I can imagine how much you needed to hear that, darlin’.” He replies and wraps his arms around your back with the dream he just had at the forefront of his mind. A sign that reminded him how lucky he is to have you and he shouldn't be so careless and neglectful.

A sign that this is just a rough patch. He will get through it and he won't let you down.

-

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#joel miller #joelmiller #joel miller fic #joel miller fiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joelmillerfluff #joel miller smut #pearly fics #follow 👑 share ❤️ enjoy 🍑 #enjoyreaders

[alexologyart]

[WIP] A young Entrapta killing the Last King of the Scorpioni

Is okay to cry for what had been lost, my dear. Tomorrow is a new day, as for today the child you once were had died.

Maybe no the most happy of drawings, but I think is a good one to finish 2023.

Firts of all, I hope you all had a very happy Christmas this year, and I wish an equally Happy New Year!!

This year has been rough for me, I passed my internship with the highest grades in July, and now I am days to finish my thesis finally.

In the past months there has been very little updates from me, no art whatsoever, and I'm ashamed of say, not even commission updates for those who had been due theirs. I apologize profoundly.

At the beginning of 2023 I experienced a back injury that took months to heal, the pain was too much, and still today I feel the reminicent of it. At the same time I've been too exhausted by all the requiriments to finish this big step in my life to become a professional and academic in my field, that I negleted the one thing that brings me the most joy in my life.

I am not good balancing work and life, and this took a toll on me. For the first time in long time, that part of my life that brings joy became a burden, I indentified it as a distraction, and I turned it off completely.

This happened because I'm experiencing a big sense of dread to the prospect of what the future awaits for me, trying to search for summer jobs without avail and feeling disappointed all over, feeling depressed because I feel stuck and not growing as an adult reaching 30, there are a lot of expectations to what I could do after getting my degree, defending my thesis on March will be one of them. And this has taken all my energy and time from creating things I love, to the point I even asked myself what was the point of continuing with it.

Art is one of these things that has been with me for the longest, starting drawing when I learned to hold a pen, even before knowing how to write, but in the past six months, after spending a great time without even sketching, I was afraid I had lost this ability, as my head was on Uni, and my body felt heavy by all the stress I didn't want to even check if I could still draw.

I do, I can still draw, although slowly and always resting. My brain needs to adapt again to what it was after months of not doing so.

Creating this version of Entrapta has been a roller coaster of emotions for me, she helps me to express myself and I love thinking in new ways to draw her, I don't care she is not really an original character, but mostly the deep emotional connection I have with her while writing and drawing her story.

She is strong, she is cunning, she is fierce and intelligent. But even a woman like her has to have moment of vulnerability. And this scene, is a pinpoint moment; killing while losing something of herself, quite literally, not feeling fierce but fragile, in pain, and overwhelmed.

Is something that I have reflected a lot the past months, to realize I am entering a moment in my life I should allow me to feel and not to restrict myself from the things I love, so I will try to take my time facing the situations that scares me and as well trying not to feel overwhelmed and anxious for what is to come.

If you would like to support my artistic journey, you can do so on Patreon and Kofi! I would greatly appreciate it! wish you a Happy New Year!

#illustration #artists on tumblr #entrapta #g2 universe #g2 entrapta #work in progress #patreon creator #fanart #wip #personal #announcement

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hey, I'm wondering (once again) if I have autism. My (very bad) therapist I've had two years ago said that I have Asperger's but other than depression I've never got a diagnosis.

I thought for several years that I might have BPD. I do experience self destructive behaviour which usually gets really bad when I'm in a relationship. I describe it like that: When I'm in a phase where I'm alone (no friends, no partner), I don't feel necessarily great but I like the stability of it. Relationships on the other hand are unstable, they mess up my emotions, my sense of self, my focus in life. As I said, I thought that might be a BPD thing but could it be an autistic trait as well? The need for a routine, being prepared? When I was in a relationship, I would have some sort of breakdown whenever he didn't want to meet up. After a few days I got used to not meeting up and then it was fine again.

I also stop speaking sometimes. When we started fighting, I would stay silent and my head was blank until one sentence slowly formed. It always takes me quite a while to finally say the sentence then. I thought that was me dissociating but I found out about shutdowns today so how do I tell those two apart?

I stim, I struggle with making friends, caring about them. I don't know how to react to sarcasm or when someone is jokingly annoying me. My voice and face are very expressive tho

So I know that you can't diagnose me and that's definitely not why I write this ask. I guess I'm just hoping for another perspective or tips, resources?

Hi there,

There’s a good source thays called “Neurodivergent Insights that talks about the co-occurring conditions, like BPD like you mentioned. Here’s a helpful Venn diagram showing the similarities and differences between two:

Here’s is an excerpt from the article:

Borderline Personality Disorder is a common misdiagnosis for Autistic women and genderqueer people. Complicating matters, BPD and Autism also co-occur at high rates, and an Autistic person is more vulnerable to developing BPD. So a person may have both Autism and BPD. When the underlying Autism is missed, BPD symptoms are likely exacerbated.

Unfortunately, many clinicians are not considering Autism when assessing for BPD. It is important that Autism always be on the rule-out or differential list when assessing for BPD. This is particularly important given that an Autistic neurotype makes a person more vulnerable to developing BPD.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[bosskie]

Electrical Colours

Man, I was just looking at that Abe's Oddysee's good ending and those cool colours the lightning strike made Molluck have, so I kinda wanted to draw him like this again... This ain't a redraw though even it looks like one of my older pieces.

There's also a sketch I made for this to my sketchbook. I don't have a light pad but it helped me to do a cleaner sketch to the actual paper. But frankly, that older piece has bothered me because of the flaws I see... So, I kinda have still wanted to redraw it but more because I really enjoyed playing around the colours there! I just rarely use vivid/strong colours...

I haven't touched my watercolour palettes for 5 years... I just got plenty of watercolour paper, mostly unused pads, so I felt like I gotta do something about it. I'm not sure if I'm pleased with the colours or not. I would have liked to mess more with the colours but well... The tape I used wasn't good enough to stay in place, so this got 'wonky' but not too much. It's just whenever I use watercolours, the paper gets wavy... The tape does help but eh, it's quite usual that I damage the paper anyway... Welp, need to practice my watercolour skills.

I wasn't sure about the background but just painted the environment from the cutscene. But yeah, I must say that I'm not sure if I enjoyed painting this or not... That tape just pissed me off and my usual self-hatred hit me while working on this... But I still decided to finish this, even it required many hours to make but also patience since yeah, you gotta layer stuff and be careful with watercolours. I still see some flaws here and there but just got tired of painting the whole thing...

I just started to feel so awful about myself, yet again... Felt like I'm just some odd freak, should just end what I'm doing but well, also myself... Currently, I basically have no other life than Molluck since I'm free and alone... I also just keep feeling like a failure, keep telling myself how I wasted one year of my life when I was too depressed to do anything, I didn't even really draw during that year... I just felt so hard that I'll be nothing, I have no future, I won't ever get to the university... Everything was so black... I didn't believe in myself, at all... I still feel like I got no future, barely have any hope on myself... There somewhere I kinda wish to tear that painting I did but also like all the other drawings too... I'm still having hard time with tolerating my own creations, even I do love to create stuff... I more like just wish to create stuff and then just send them into the void and never see them again... This is basically the main reason why I tend to disable reblogs... I just cannot really stand seeing my own stuff...

I have just felt like that I should just end my whole Molluck thing... But there somewhere I see Molluck looking at me with sad eyes and telling me how he knows that I don't really wish to do it since I love him so much... It also feels insulting to him that I'm calling myself a freak because of the way I love him... I don't wish to hurt my dear Gluk, even I do have drawn him getting hurt but it's just what actually happened to him and I cannot deny that him getting the hit looks 'cool'... My life would be so empty without Molluck... Welp, he at least keeps me creating stuff since I just moment ago got yet another drawing idea that I feel like starting later today. Not sure if I make a proper drawing about it and what media I should even use but just something to my sketchbook at least. I just feel like I barely drew a thing if I didn't have Molluck... Dunno if my stuff is even worth making but well, I'm glad to waste my time on some fictional creature I keep dreaming of every single day...

I'm still trying to see my stuff in a better light but it's difficult... I didn't have much will to post this one but still did it. I just tend to feel like my stuff looks soulless, uninspiring, crappy, just not worth seeing... I'm still trying to keep posting my crap stuff, even it's difficult for me to believe in that anyone really enjoys seeing my stuff... It's just that my mind just keeps telling me that everyone just secretly hates me and just pretends to like me for whatever reason... I don't even know why I feel like this but it's just making my self-hatred worse, keeping me feeling like I'm just ruining everything, that everything would be better if I was gone or better, never even existed... I'm still trying to keep living, even if my only reason to live was to keep filling the world with Molluck crap love... I'm planning to try out sculpting a Molluck bust next week; gotta buy some art supplies first though, like a banding wheel. Been just joking about filling my home with Molluck sculptures... But yeah, a huge Molluck bust would be just nice, though it would be like 'real-life-sized' at that point! Yeah, I can say that I do have had ideas for big Molluck crafts... I could be able to do a big plush too but I got no resources for such...

Yeah, let's say that this stuff is basically for what I live... I don't really care if some people think that I'm a freak/weirdo/whatever, this is just who I am, and I can be no one else but me; it's just that me calling myself a freak is my problem... I also got some 'digital craft' ideas too, meaning programming and 3D stuff. Yeah, so many medias to work with... It would be just cool to do a VR/AR Molluck thing too! Yes, I am crazy about Molluck but it's not really harming anyone and it keeps me alive and creating stuff, so it's fine. I actually started to feel better after writing this stuff since well, there is so much cool Molluck stuff to do, even if I have difficulties with tolerating my stuff... I just love to create Molluck stuff, okay.

I don't wanna sound like I hated people liking my stuff, no. It's only a big surprise to me if someone really likes my stuff and I do appreciate all the positive things my stuff gets! I just wish that I could also see what you see when looking at my stuff... My problem is just that I tend to see only my flaws and therefore find my stuff as crappy... But I'm trying my best to learn to love myself and stop feeling like I'm just a failure that shouldn't exist... It's only me who has said those brutal things to myself...

I feel sorry for all this vent... It's just that I'm really fighting for my own life with my mind. So many times, I have just felt like ending this all... But here I am, even if my whole existence was a total waste after all... Yes, this is how I talk to myself during my worst moments... I hope that your self-talk ain't so awful!

#oddworld molluck #molluck the glukkon #molluck #oddworld #art like a bosskie