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torhues · 2 years

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akaashi keiji.

tw . death and grieving

they say, we value something the most when it's gone.

akaashi doesn't know why those words resonate with him.

he doesn't have a lot of offer, not at all. akaashi keiji, in fact, doesn't have anything to give or lose, his hands are empty. he has a mediocre job and a mediocre life, a mediocre apartment with some mediocre flowers in the mediocre vase a friend gave him as a congratulatory gift on graduation day. he has same mediocre thoughts and books, tropes and genres, no new thought in a while; akaashi, actually, has more to accept than to lose.

to think, he has always been on the receiving end of life.

good grades made their way to him almost too easily, his looks served as a way for confessions to find their route to him as well. being an only child gave him the privilege to have everything to himself rather than sharing it with someone. akaashi isn't half mean, or selfish, or careless, or anything that people like him could be. he still keeps the fountain pen bokuto gave him on the last day of highschool even though it's nib had broken. there's a scarf in his cupboard, one made by his late aunt who died of lymphoma, it's torn, yarns peeping out of the knits. it's kept intact in a fancy red box.

akaashi has always received a lot, so much that he hasn't dealt with loss, to such an extent that he has never been on the other end. but his hands feel empty. in the silence suffocating him, sitting on a chair with his head hung low, the floor looks so pretty. there's a faint reflection of him on the tiles, then his eyes land on his hands.

his hands feel empty.

maybe it's the timing that has been making him feel this way. perhaps, it's the location, the empty hospital room and the empty streets, the empty hallway, the empty hours, the lack of something and abundance of everything— it's making him go insane. it's fine, he tells himself, a hospital can make one feel that way.

akaashi looks over at the empty bed, the white sheets and the white walls all around. his gaze shifts to the now shut down heart monitor, the pillow you had rested your head upon until this afternoon, the lilies in the bouquet he got your this morning, they've wilted. he should be packing up your stuff. your clothes, the blanket you've always adored and the books you made him read all these days while you were lying on the now empty hospital bed.

occasionally, he tries to convince himself that this is a dream. that you're here, somewhere, perhaps at work or at the nursery, maybe out for shopping with a friend or at your parent's house because you've been missing them lately. akaashi imagines himself waiting for you at the station or the bus stand or the airport, smiling like a fool because he hasn't seen you in days and finally he can have you close to him, his lips on yours, your hand in his,

but now, his hands feel emptier.

akaashi, once again, looks over at the empty bed. the image of you lying on it slips in his mind— weak and exhausted, too miserable to even lift your hand. the you that has been greeting him with a crooked smile for the last three weeks. the part of you that cries when no one is around a pretends to be fine when he accidently walks in on you. you who had been living off on tubes and blood transfusions, who smells like medicines and antiseptics, who's eyes, even while fighting to their life, didn't run out of love.

akaashi has always been on the receiving end. his chest feels heavy, his vision is blurry, he feels lonely; akaashi doesn't know what he had lost.

he can't put it in words.

they say, we value something the most when it's gone. akaashi doesn't understand why those words keep popping up in his mind as a reminder. he's not like that, he knows how much to mean to him. he adored you— still does— has never taken you, or your love, for granted.

what about the people who know the worth?

he sniffs, because he knew. akaashi knows he loves you more than anything else in this entire world and, tried his best to hold onto you; little by little, thread by thread, holding by the end of the rope even if it means standing at the edge of the knife.

losing something, isn't it so much worse for them?

akaashi believes there's penance in yearning, there's pain in giving too much of your heart. you've always been on the giving end, and it scared him because, what if he's not enough? what if he isn't even giving you even a quarter of what he's receiving, because in the end, nothing in the world could compensate for short fall.

did i not love you enough?

he thinks of the times where instead of all this, he had you. life was exquisitely simple, and you were desperately happy. where instead of heavy silence, the room was filled with your laughter, where his hands weren't empty for yours always found their way to his'. he thinks of the days when he'd spend his evenings with you, strolling in the park or while taking a walk by the beach. right now, he feels alone, as if it's just him and pieces of shared moments with you, lingering in the air.

akaashi hasn't never dealt with loss, but losing you made him lose everything he ever had.

#♡ hues'.#♡ handmade.#akaashi keiji #haikyuu #akaashi x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu angst #akaashi angst #haikyuu fic #akaashi fic #haikyuu headcanons #akaashi headcanons #haikyuu drabbles #akaashi drabbles #hq angst #IM SORRY FOR ANOTHER ANGST #IN MY DEFENCE I CANNOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING ELSE #also this sounds monotonous me thinks

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tangledinink · 1 year

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komipacket · 1 year

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everybody likes you everybody likes you

#qsmp #qsmp fanart #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp gegg #gegg #gegg fanart #Slimecicle #slimecicle fanart #My art #Everybody likes you #The song was spinning in my head like the whole day #Got tired of it already #He just wants a family #The last stream was wholesome at the end tho #Ha you thought it was another cute art huh?#No eat your angst guys the first pic isn't real #Im sorry to every kyman fan that is still here confused

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anianurst · 4 months

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OMG IGNORE THE OTHER ASK ME I MEANT MORE BIG BROTHER SUKUNA ur first one was rlly good (poor yuji) but it was rlly good 😜

summary: being with sukuna is like riding a seesaw. good thing his sweet, younger brother, yuji, is there to hear about your problems and be a shoulder to lean on. too bad you don't feel the same for him.

a/n: a part two! i wanted to continue with the band au thing that I wrote about in the first part. i was rewatching victorious and oml jade and beck is kinda of what i picture y/n and sukuna being like (but like more intense). song used is "you don't know me" by Elizabeth gillies (the actress for jade) (here's the link)

warning(s): mentions of toxic relationship, sexual acts!!, leading on (mostly on yuji's part), one-sided feelings (again on yujis part I'm sorry bb), mentions of manga characters not yet introduced in the anime (yorozu and kashimo hajime)

"I told you that I don't want you talking to her anymore! She keeps fucking flirting with you, and I don't like it!" you yell at Sukuna, and like always he rolls his eyes at your antics. Scoffing, you cross your arms and wait for Sukuna to say something, anything at this point to ease your worries.

"Yeah, and I fucking told you that you're overreacting. Yorozu's always like that," he replied, his face pulled into a nasty scowl, his eyes narrowing into a cold gaze. His words do little to ease your anger (or worry) and cause more rage to flare in you.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's it? That's your excuse for her basically fucking herself on you the entire night?!" you scoff. You think back to how this whole fight started, and a deep pit at the bottom of your stomach starts to form.

Why hadn't you listened to your friends? They knew the type of guy Sukuna was and they warned you about getting involved with him. How someone like him would never allow himself to be tied down to one girl. How he wasn't "boyfriend" material at all.

And they were right. Even though your relationship with Sukuna had evolved past that of a one-night stand to the point where you'd see each other for dinner or even movies, that didn't stop him from basking in the attention of other girls, Yorozu specifically.

Ugh, you hated her the moment that Sukuna had introduced the two of you. The boom of the music that always filled you with a rush of adrenaline and energy seemed to dull as your eyes landed on the girl who clutched onto Sukuna's arm and pushed her boobs into his frame. Her love-sick eyes that always followed him and that ugly high-pitched laugh of hers set off something ugly in you.

The sound of the door opening makes the two of you turn. Yuji walks through the door, his gym bag slung on his shoulder and hair a little matte with sweat. His tired figure seemingly brightens up the second his eyes fall on you, and he's smiling oh-so sweetly at you. It doesn't last long as he notices how there are tears pricking the ends of your eyes and how your arms are crossed in anger.

He's quick to put his gym bag down, head over to you, and place a hand on the small of your back. "You ok? Did Sukuna say something rude to you?" he asks, his voice and eyes filled with nothing but sincere worry and softness.

Sukuna's quick to scoff, and before he knows it, he shoves Yuji away from you. "She's fucking fine," he spits out. Without another word, he turned on the ball of his feet and headed towards his room. His door-slamming echoes throughout the apartment, and with him gone, you finally let your tears fall.

Strong, warm arms are quick to wrap around you as you let your head lean on Yuji's shoulder. Small hiccups leave your lips as Yuji whispers sweet nothings into your ears and rubs comforting circles into your back. "I-I just need to go. I'm sorry, Yuji," you say and quickly step out of his arms and grab your bag from the couch.

"I'm always here for you if you need anything," the pink-haired boy says, and there's a strange tug at your heart. A small and quick 'thanks' is all you can muster before rushing out and away from the apartment.

"You think you're so funny, huh?" Sukuna sneers at you, his eyes glaring down into yours as he holds your wrists together. His leg pushes between your thighs, and a whimper falls from your lips as you feel the familiar hot warmth pulse throughout your body.

"Do-Don't know what you're ta-talking 'bout," you manage to say, lying straight to Sukuna's face. It seems you both know that you're lying, and he lets out a deep chuckle as he lowers his lips to bite into your shoulder. A yelp escapes your lips before you try to hold back a moan.

"Really? So, you weren't throwing yourself on Kashimo like some slut?" Sukuna says back. Your eyes narrow into a glare as your gaze meets his. You can feel his boner pressing into your thigh, and you hate how you can feel yourself getting wet.

"Fuck you," you spit at him, and he laughs again.

"That's the plan, darling."

"Are you sure you are good to go on, y/n? You look like shit," Shoko says, a cig hanging from her lips. A puff of smoke follows, and you grimace as you try to wave it away from you.

"I'm good. Just kinda tired," is all you say, and Shoko doesn't look entirely impressed with your answer. She sighs before putting her cig out and holding your hand in hers.

"Maybe it's time you put an end to whatever you have with Sukuna," she whispers quietly enough so that Satoru and Suguru don't hear it (even though you're pretty sure they're listening in anyway since they, too, are worried about you). And you hate how she says it, "whatever." Shit, you hate that it accurately sums up the relationship between you and Sukuna. Because, in truth, you don't know what you and Sukuna are anymore. You two argue, you fuck, you go out to parties together and then go back to arguing. You don't remember ever having fun together like you did in the beginning. Instead, you've gotten so used to your routine that you've begun looking forward to what happens sometimes after you argue.

How when Yuji comes back to the apartment, and you and Sukuna are in the middle or nearing the end of a yelling match, he'll whisk you away and look at you with those love-filled eyes. How he'll tell you some stupid story that happened to him and his friends, or how he'll take you to the nearby ice cream shop in hopes that it'll cheer you up. How your heart feels much heavier every time you say goodbye to him, and you catch a glimpse of his red, rosy cheeks.

You know that Yuji likes you, but not in a friendly way. No, that he genuinely wants to be in Sukuna's place. He wants to treat you so much better than his older brother does. And you know he would, but you simply can't feel the same for him. No matter how much ice cream you eat or how many stories he tells you, your heart doesn't beat the same for him as it does for Sukuna. And you feel so incredibly guilty about how you let him take you away from your big-bad-scary 'whatever' and act like the two of you are together.

With a huff, you stand up and down the rest of your drink before smiling back at your bandmates. "It's almost time for us to go on."

How fucking shameless can Sukuna be? you think as your gaze sweeps the crowd and lands on him and his friends. Uraume (who you actually like and you think likes you back) is bobbing their head to the beat of the current song while Mahito cheers wildly (he's so wasted) and Hajime is sipping on his drink, and of course, Yorozu is wrapped all around Sukuna.

His eyes aren't on her, though. No, they're staring straight back into yours, and you hate how, after all this time, it still sends a shiver down your spine. The world seems to fade away as you finish the last line of the song, and you're turning to bandmates. "We're doing the new one," is all you say, and they're quick to grin back at you and follow your request.

You think you know me but you don't know me You think you own me but you can't control me You look at me and there's just one thing that you see So listen to me, listen to me!

Your grip on the mic tightens as you push your hair out of your face, a flush rising on your neck. The crowd seems to roar even louder.

You push me back, I push you back, harder, harder You scream at me, I scream at you, louder, l-l-l-l-louder I'm dangerous, I'm warning you But you're not afraid of me and I can't convince you You don't know me

Sukuna shoves Yorozu off his arm as he takes a couple steps forward. There's a smirk growing on his face as your eyes meet again, and there's an ugly but warm pleasure that spreads throughout your body.

And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting And the pain feels okay, it feels okay, hey

You think back to all your arguments with Sukuna, and for a second, you wonder if that's what love really is. Is it supposed to leave you feeling overwhelmed and enraged to the point where you feel too addicted to that same feeling? Well, whatever you think. Maybe it's not supposed to feel that way to other people, but to you and Sukuna, that's what makes the two of you work.

All the pain and yelling is what keeps your hearts beating for one another, and maybe it's toxic and not right. But who cares.

You push me back, I'll push you back You scream at me, I'll scream at you louder, louder Louder, louder, louder, louder Louder! Louder! Louder

Maybe you're both messed up to keep 'whatever' going on, destroying one another and then rebuilding one another through sex. Maybe you're more messed up for dragging poor, innocent Yuji into your hideous cycle. For making him think that perhaps one day you'll wake up and throw yourself into his arms.

You push me back, I push you back, harder, harder You scream at me, I scream at you, louder, l-l-l-l-louder I'm dangerous, I'm warning you But you're not afraid of me and I can't convince you

Poor Yuji, having feelings for someone who already seems to be taken by his cruel older brother. He watches you sing your heart out and shine so beautifully that he knows the flush on his cheeks isn't from the alcohol. He notices that your eyes always seem to go back to the same spot, and as he turns his head, his heart drops as he sees Sukuna standing there, his cheeks flushed a deep red and grin now replacing his smirk.

He watches the spark grow brighter between the two of you, and every nerve in his body tells him to leave. But he can't, not when he starts to see a love-filled grin start to spread on your face.

His heart seems to come back to life as it beats faster while he watches you perform. Someone bumps into him, and then he's brought back to the reality that your gaze and grin aren't directed at him.

And I don't have to, I think you know me

#sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #sukuna #yuji itadori #yuji x reader #yuji itadori x reader #yuji itadori angst #im sorry yuji my bb #i think i may have a problem when it comes to writing about sukuna eheheh #toxic sukuna #jjk x reader #angsty jjk #i hopes this lives up to the hype of my first blub #oml this turned into a whole fic when i initially planned for it to be another blurb #rewatching victorious was so therapeutic oml my childhood #literally love jade she was always my fave

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treasureplcnet · 6 months

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also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill

#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY:#i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by)#weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop--#--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but #how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable #and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts #so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like #kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead #there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him..#just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop #im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE.#THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME #now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts #karl weissman #bodies 2023 #bodies netflix #sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to #personal

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lamuliz · 1 year

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(4/?)

Wow this Stanley SUCKS,,

sorry guys :D

#lamu was NOT sorry #im having fun #fan comic #angst #the stanley parable #the stanley parable fanart #the stanley parable narrator #stanley #stanley parable #tw blood #tw violence #there should be another poll soon #TSPUD Ending the Parable AU

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haruniki · 3 months

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It was fine, just fine. When you and the rest of the invited trailblazers got to Penacony, it was fine. Even the weirdness of your beloved Stelle's dram prior to landing was fine. What wasn't fine was the girl who had offered Stelle a tour of the dream world, even offering to show ger her favorite place in the entire area. Sure you were excited to explore the new area with her, but it was fine. Stelle could show you all the cool places that she was shown. It was fine.

What wasn't fine is the way Stelle looks at her. Firefly, as she introduced herself, was a nice girl and wouldn't hurt a fly. But why did it hurt so much when Stelle talked to her in such a gentle way? A way she's never spoken to you. What hurts even more is the way she held Firefly in her last moments before fading away, she held her so gently. And the way she looked after the event, made your heart twinge in guilt and jealousy. You love Stelle, but it seems that her heart longed for someone else.

#i hopw this makes sense #im so tired and I've speedran like 2 games today #sorry for not posting #work and school suck and i hate it #this was another attempt at angst that didn't work too well #x fem!reader #x female reader #x gn reader #hsr x reader #hsr stelle x reader #hsr stelle #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail stelle #honkai star rail stelle x reader #men and non sapphics dni

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the-delusion-corner · 22 days

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ℑ𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 - 𝔜𝔲𝔱𝔞 𝔒𝔨𝔨𝔬𝔱𝔰𝔲

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𝓎𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒾 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒶 𝓃 𝒸𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝑜 𝒾𝓂 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔

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In which, Yuta had chosen Kenjaku's side.

(¯`◕‿◕´¯)

"I never meant for this to happen....really, I didn't"

"You made a choice. You fucked up"

The ruins of Shibuya, the crater where the beaming city once stood, where the streets used to bustle with people, living for the first time, was now an ugly bomb sight, the sign of destruction, an unhappy thought.

Your head lay meekly on the black haired boy's lap, he'd been too weak to kill you, his personal feelings from the past got in the way. One year ago you were end game, saviours together. But you had been left for his own agreement on a sick desire for a new and apparent perfect world. And it took your approaching death to make him realise how wrong he was in his choice.

"I hate you Yuta, i hate you so much.

But I love you, i love you so much but seeing you hurts"

The blood covered face of yours stared up at his tear filled expression, the breaths from your rising chest becoming more suppressed. You became hazy, and you were ready. You'd had enough, the pain was slipping away. You've done what you can, you saved so many people, been the perfect person.

He didn't respond, simply because he had no words. But his voice found him meekly as your eyes brimmed.

"everything hurts Yuta"

"...Im sorry. Im so sorry (y/n), this is my fault"

He was so right that this was his fault, but as you became dazed, what good did it do blaming him further? You loved him before. He was the right person, at the right time.

But he'd made the wrong decision.

The world grew blurry, hazy, and breathing became a chore. Your half lids stared up into his glossy eyes, and you gave him a smile, one he didn't deserve.

"Maybe....in another life we got our happy ending...maybe we could've protected each other, instead of causing pain."

His salty tears fell onto your face, the pitiful face Yuta gave you was almost upsetting, but don't be weak now. You're gonna be happier. He didn't get chance to respond in life, as you slipped away on his lap. But that didn't stop him from cradling your head in apology for what he'd done and speaking, in hopes that wherever you were, you'd hear him.

"𝕴𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊.. 𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖓" "𝕾𝖔 𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖌, 𝖒𝖞 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊"

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𝓅𝓁𝓈 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝑒

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siliconforbrains · 4 months

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Okay, it's like 10pm on a work night and I haven't had any coffee today so my thoughts are a little scrambled BUT. I WAS THINKING.

(About In Stars and Time of course I'm always thinking about that game)

A couple of years ago, at the height of Steddie -my sister was big into it and recced me some fics okay- I read this fic about Steve dealing with time loops ("The one in which a time loop is fucking exhausting" by badpancake) and there was this specific detail about the epilogue that stuck with me.

It was the idea that, once the time loops were done and over with, people would slowly start to remember bits and pieces of what happened in earlier loops. After being fractured for so long across dozens of timelines and experiences and outcomes, time was finally healing, and broken shards of lost memories would find their way back into people's minds.

And that got me thinking about a post-game what-if scenario where the same happens to the gang as they travel through Vaugarde.

Like they still don't remember everything -just bits and pieces. Experiences so emotionally charged that they found a way to cross the sands of time and reach them again.

The question is, what would those memories be? The first answer that comes to mind is some of Siffrin's deaths, of course. I can't imagine watching your friend get pancake-d by a boulder would be pleasant, nor witnessing them turning their own dagger to themselves. Or offering him a slice of your favorite snack only for him to go into anaphylactic shock in front of your very eyes, for that matter!

But there would be other instances too, wouldn't they? Death is not the only thing that shook them to their core. What about their first death to the King? Or Bonnie's fate at the end of Act 3? What about basking in the blissful feeling of victory against the tormentor of your land only to turn to look at your friend and know something is very, very wrong?

What about fighting through the House with a party of 4 instead of 5, bloodied, confused, staring in the face of the King knowing you're about to die and wondering why your friend left you all when you needed them most?

I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this, but I've been rotating this concept in my head since this morning and thought I'd get it out on here so y'all can suffer with me tehee

#maxisrambling #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat siffrin #i genuinely don't know if i'd ever write a fic about this concept #esp bc i already have like 3 wips im working on and i don't need another #but if i ever were to it would be like. a post-game fic where the party realizes just how bad the loops were #how they affected siffrin and how they mightve affected /them/#(bc love this found family to death but siffrin probably downplays a lot of the loops stuff until confronted /lh)#and meanwhile sif has to deal with the knowledge that his family is remembering things he never wanted them to remember #seeing things they never shouldve seen #and is probably filled with a fuckton of guilt about that bc even now that the loops are broken they're hurting them #they all need a hug oh my god #OFC it would have a happy hopeful ending but NSDJKVNDJKFV angst hurt/comfort <3 #okay im done rambling hopefully this makes sense #im gonna go pass out now id say sorry but I'm not lmao xoxo

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cthulhusstepmom · 1 year

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Ghost is observant. He's always been, even before it was his job. It kept him safe, safe from his father's worst moods, safe from bullies at school, safe from the inevitable deterioration of all of his relationships.

So when Soap starts acting suspicious he feels his heart start to sink. He's a big enough person to admit that he's been selfish with Soap, allowed himself to indulge in genuine companionship; allowed something dangerous to develop. But what choice does he have? The thought of leaving now and denying himself the simple warmth of John MacTavish is almost a physical pain. So it should be a relief when Johnny starts to pull away, it saves Ghost from being the one to do it. But for once in his long trail of broken hearts and slowly withering relationships, Ghost doesn't want it to end.

So he clings on. He seeks him out more often, snaps and snarls at the thought of Soap going out of his sight. He lays there listening as Soap wakes with a haunted scream, internally wrestling with himself until he gathers the courage to cross the hall and knock, his cheeks heating when Soap answers the door in just his boxers. He kicks himself when Soap redirects and prepares to bow out and take the dismissal respectfully when Johnny offers to come and sit with him and his traitorous heart soars in his chest. Soap is giving him this and he'll take it with gratitude. They sit together in the rec room for hours, watching the fish sleep peacefully until Soap has drifted off and his tea is in danger of spilling in his limp hand. He briefly considers taking Johnny back to his room but he rationalizes that there is a reason the Soap didn't want him in there and it really isn't his business. So he sits there and he observes. Simply watching the slight rise and fall of Johnny's chest as he sleeps on the tattered couch. Indulging in the domesticity of it all.

When a knock jars him awake in the middle of the night he's unsure what he expects but Soap delirious and bleeding was certainly not on the top of that list. A small lick of pride flares inside of him that Soap would come to him before medical, which brings with it quiet concerns and many questions. Still he brings Johnny inside and sits him gently on his bed, stepping into his bathroom to quickly grab his personal first aid kit.

Soap is saying something when he gets back, so deep in his accent that it doesn't even register as words. Kneeling on the floor in front of him, Ghost reverently takes his arm and starts to wipe at it with a damp cloth. Cleaning away the blood with quiet fervor, unsure just what could inflict such a wound on his Sergeant at this hour of the night. When the wound is revealed he flinches back.

Ghost is intimately acquainted with snake bites, has several scars buried deep in his collection that match the marks on Soap's arm, stretched and warped as they are from where he's grown since he got them.

And this is from a big fucking snake.

He looks up to Soap meets his eyes suddenly deathly sober.

"Just how'd you get this Soap?"

#CLIFFHANGER PART TWO #IM SORRY BUT IM NOT #ANGST #a smidgeon of Ghost's perspective because i love the wet cat man #tbh Ghost is just a big old retired fight dog in the shelter and Soap is the white woman coming to dedicate their entire life to him #he just needs love mannnn #on another note i may or may not be investing in my own goldfish tank soon so pray for me #in the event that happens i will post about it and 100% use it for fish person gaz content #cod mw2 #fish person gaz #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #john soap mactavish #reptile person soap #simon ghost riley

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strawberryspence · 1 year

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happy march 27.

today, 56 year old steve wakes up, makes breakfasts, wakes robin up and drives back to hawkins.

they go pick up some coffee and flowers. they also pick up dustin along the way. before driving to their final destination, the hawkins memorial cemetery.

they set up a small picnic under a growing tree. the same one they planted in spring 1986, it's their reminder of where they buried eddie.

they eat under its shade, and talk about a short life well lived.

they celebrate an old friend and how it's been 36 years since that day changed their lives.

#tw mcd #tw major character death #today i will be posting another angst piece #im sorry #also eddie please be alive #please come out behind the tree and be like SURPRISE MFERS #steddie #steddie rants #steddie headcanons

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 10 months

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yeah so @chaotic-on-main was chatting with me about an angst idea that triggered another angst idea that resulted in this post so go check out her oneshot first 🔪🔪

I'm Sorry | Canonverse Angst Drabble

✧ word count ➼ ~400 ✧ notes ➼ canon!verse, angst, death, grief, im not sorry :)

Every step felt agonizing. Your grip around the flowers were now nowhere near gentle. You walked through the aisles of fallen soldiers until you reached the very end.

Despite constantly being hailed as Humanity's Strongest, Levi Ackerman finally fell in battle. It was a blur of chaos. He was there one minute and then he just...wasn't.

You looked at his name.

It felt so empty now. You remembered going ballistic, screaming, and flailing in denial at the idea that he was gone, no matter how many people told you the truth. Now that you've accepted it, you felt nothing but emptiness—and rage.

"How dare you leave me," you hissed underneath your breath.

The thunder clapped ominously in the background.

"How dare you die without me."

Your grip on the flowers tighten to the point that the stems no longer stood straight.

You knew you were being unfair. He had died to protect you—but you were so, so angry. You were angry at him for dying. You were angry at the world for taking him from you. You were angry at yourself for failing to save him.

Unable to take it anymore, you threw the flowers down towards his grave in a fit of rage. There was an unreadable expression on your face.

Levi Ackerman was gone. No matter how much you resisted against it, he was gone.

You glanced down at his tombstone again. You breath got caught in your throat as you looked back down at the flowers that were now chaotically scattered around the tombstone.

The emptiness you felt within you seemed to implode within itself. You suddenly felt like your body was trying to drag you down into the earth to be with him. You didn't even have a body to bury.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled as you knelt down and fixed the flowers, your hands shaking as you picked up the stems and the fallen leaves.

"I'm sorry," you repeated. You weren't sure if the wetness streaming down your face was from the tears or the incoming rain.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," you said as you placed the flowers on his grave, gripping at the ground.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

You collapsed onto the ground in a defeated fashion, burying your face in your hands as you quietly sobbed.

"I'm sorry I failed you," you said underneath your breath, "Levi."

#: @chaotic-on-main @romantichomicide95 @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @moonmalice @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @belovedackerman @bejewelledd @sad-darksoul @ackermendick @aomi04 @apolloshaiku @laraackerman @pulpolicia @raenacreates @nube55 @roseofdarknessblog @saeonara @noctemys @sixpennydame @sleepyfairyxo @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @levis-squishy-cheeks @dumbfound-princess @evas-leslas @einnyl @mrsmiagreerjoin my taglist!

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merry-andrews · 10 months

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The Great Gatsby AU;

After Jake married to son of a rich (old money) family, he and his husband live in a lovely villa nearby the sea and things are alright, they even have a little girl too until there's rumours about 'Rooster', a mysterious wealthy man and his fancy parties, it's like big carnivals and he hosts almost every people. He lives in a lovely mansion on the other side of the seashore right in front of Jake's house. One day they receive a formal invitation from Rooster (though Jake's husband doesn't like to go) so it's how Jake meets Bradley again💗 it's the beginning of their secret meetings and Bradley keeps asking Jake to leave 'that man' and live with Bradley. Bradley stops all those parties even fires his housekeepers and servants only because of Jake who wants to keep it secret between them..

It goes on and on for few weeks until Bradley buys Jake a lovely ring decorated by a green-blue gem💚 and purposes to him 'stay with me forever Jake, I love you'. Jake panics, says he needs time and leaves Bradley that night..

Two days passes when Jake gets a phone call, having bad news of Mr. Bradshaw badly injured in car accident and he may won't make it. Jake has a fight with his husband (he found out about him and Bradley) but he doesn't go to see Bradley at hospital..

#angst warning! but you can imagine the ending however you want to :>#hangster #sereshaw #I mean in my opinion he'll die at the end..#and Jake never went to see him in hospital #but in another world he leaves his husband. takes his daughter with him and goes to live with Bradley #'Bradley.. rich people won't marry poor soldiers..'#yeah Brad was in war just like Great Gatsby book #everything is the same just like the book #it was in my draft for a month and was chewing on me so yeah.. i finally posted it 'shrugs'#jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangman x rooster #its my comfort ship im sorry for this sad au :(💔#i just needed to get it out of my mind jxgsfs tho ending is open! :) so something good happens at the end.

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bl-inkstone · 1 year

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traveler, wait! it's dangerous to go alone, so have some zhongli thoughts for company!

i think life with zhongli as your significant other would be best described as the love behind every little action and gesture the two of you make. even with all the years you've spent at each other's side (either married or just simply together), the romance never dies. but it shifts and goes through changes, like stone giving way to the gentle embrace of time.

one such example is when the love shared between you calms into something that can blend in with the walls of your home. it matches the color of your curtains, the painted flowers on cups left on your tea table, the clothbound books and scrolls tucked away into the red cedar scroll shelf you had diligently sought after and haggled for when your lover had mentioned it once in passing. it's in the crinkle of your eyes in the morning when you sit at your table together and eat. it's in the shape of his smile when he returns from his work in the funeral parlor to you and the home you've made together.

when you grind ink for him while he works beside you, or comb and tie his hair for him in the morning when sleep still clings to the edges of his eyes. when he combs and washes your hair for you in soothing baths, or leans down to massage the stress of the day away from your tense shoulders when you come back home to him.

acts of service that don't really feel like acts of service — not to zhongli or you. gestures of devotion seem like a more apt term, now, when love is so ingrained in your lives that the word can no longer be used to describe it. you've turned the word from noun to adjective, from adjective to action. love is such a small word for such a boundless concept, but you manage to fit it in every word, every action, and every day leaves zhongli helpless and wondering in the dead of night of what to do with all the love he holds in his hands, specially made just for you.

it's a song and dance he can never quite stray from. even when his heart calms in the daytime and he can look at you with all the assuredness of a lover that loves and knows he is loved in return, all five thousand years of wisdom leaves him when night comes and you're asleep in his arms. he has loved plenty in his long lifetime. friends, family, even past lovers that he can only maybe recall when he can recognize a quirk or quality present in you. but it's in your presence that zhongli remembers that even an archon can become just a man weak to the war between heart and mind. what good is five thousand years of wisdom when it can't tell him what to do with all the love he has for you? how can he show it without scaring you away? you know who he is and you've said time and time before that it doesn't scare you, that you love him no matter what form or identity he takes but what if —

you shift in your sleep and all thoughts cease as he swiftly readjusts his hold as to not disturb you any further. in the dark of your room, zhongli counts each breath and beat of your heart and wills his own to match the tempo of yours. in the morning, he'll reprimand himself for entertaining such foolish thoughts while you hum and converse in front of your shared vanity. he'll share these thoughts with you as he always has, and you'll put down your comb and grace his face with crystalfly kisses as you always have in return. your routine shifts to make room for assurance during the times when he needs it, and the same goes for him when you speak your own fears and doubts as well.

it's part of the comfort of your life together, as strange as it may sound, that you live with all the joys and lows your love brings. sometimes, he wishes he can give you more and do away with all his mortal doubts completely, but a moment of contemplation reveals that it is exactly these doubts that make the softer aspects your lives shine all the more brighter. is this why you allow yourself to feel all your emotions, rather than push back and try to reason them away? is this why you've always placed so much importance in letting him know that should he ever need it, your shoulder is his to lean on? zhongli understands the rationale behind it and has given similar advice to mortals he's met before, of course, but it seems that even he is not immune to the irrationality of the heart. there is much wisdom to still be learned, he concedes. five thousand years is no match for an emotion that has existed since the dawn of teyvat, after all.

time doesn't completely erase all the insecurities of a man who has loved and lost so many in his long lifetime, but zhongli finds that he doesn't entirely mind. come trials and tribulations, he'll stand firm and weather it so long as he can keep holding your hand through it all.

#miyo.muses #zhongli.togo #dont ask me where this came from #i fully intended to write smth for alhaitham but ended up with *vague gesture to whatever the hell this is*#im not even that hyped abt zhongli so this was a surprise #i think its still soft and cute and my fave flavor of zhongli not-really angst but #shdbfdhjsb bye i dont think i can ever write for this man again #if this is what happens when i sit down and go “hey zhongli would be interesting to write about” then i am GONE #this isnt even fully finished or beta read i just want this out of my drafts #i have enough faves sir pls dont make me pull for u too #i already have thoma as my shielder!! i do not need another one!!#GRRR THE POTENTIAL OF ZHONGLI THOUGHTS HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD AAAAAAAAA #if i ever do end up writing for him again feel free to clown on me </3 #sdgsjab sorry if this all seems so disconnected #i just have many ideas and no proper way of wording them all in a cohesive manner #so #you get this #genshin impact #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader

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cabyang · 7 months

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moral archives idea:

cabby only realizing shes in love with yinyang AFTER he gets eliminated in ii 15. but yinyang always knew he was in love with cabby.

#ii moral archives #ii cabyang #ii yinyang #ii cabby #im sorry but im in an angst mood #i also listened to another song that was so them

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effervescentdragon · 1 year

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lefrères (or charles ship of your choice) + "where we're from, there's no sun"

The world ends on a Thursday. It isn't even a special Thursday, it's just a random Thursday like any other, nothing special about it, and somehow that makes it even worse.

They are together, all three of them, out and enjoying the first rays of spring sun. Lorenzo holds Arthur's hand in his left, and Charles' in his right, and the two of them are both eating ice-cream. Lorenzo sees that they both have more ice-cream on their faces than they should, but he isn't annoyed. They look ridiculous, his brothers, and he's laughing along with them as they walk to the edge of the pier in the Monaco marina. Lorenzo is laughing as he sits down and pulls the tissues from his pocket to start wiping his brothers' faces, but he also feels restless. The water underneath them isn't moving, and the sky is clear, but there is a feeling of anticipation in the air. Or maybe that's just Lorenzo overthinking, as he is prone to do. The sea is calm, the waves barely there, and that makes him uneasy for some reason.

"I can wipe my own face," Charles says to him when he's done with Arthur. "I'm a big boy now, Lolo."

Arthur is throwing pieces of his cone into the sea, hoping to see some fish, and Lorenzo nods at Charles and gives him the tissue. Charles manages to make even a bigger mess of himself, but before Lorenzo can intervene, Arthur is suddenly moving closer to him and clutching his hand.

"Lolo, why is the sun going away?" he asks, and Lorenzo snaps his head up. The waves below them start rising, and a disquiet fills the air. The seagulls are screaming somewhere, and they sound too close to the way humans scream. Lorenzo feels Charles' hand clutch his forearm.

"Lolo," Charles whispers, half-scared but still half-curious, pointing towards something in the distance, something that looks big, too big, and unnatural. "What is that?"

Later, Lorenzo will find out just what kind of destruction the thing in the water is capable of. (Total.) Later, Lorenzo will know the full scope of what they are about to lose. (Everything.) Later, Lorenzo will find out the thing's name. (Kaiju.)

But that will all come later. Now, as the world ends on a random Thursday in March, Lorenzo takes his brother's hands, pulls them up from the pier, where the water levels are rising too rapidly for it not to be a sign that something very bad is about to happen, and calmly, deapite his pounding heart, says, "Run."

(Years later, when Charles is on the way to piloting a Jaeger of his own and Arthur is following in his footsteps, as he always did, Lorenzo will come an visit them during training. He will wait for his brothers against a wall, and he will see them exiting the training grounds. He will see a young, gangly man walking with them, and will see him ask something, too far away to be heard. He will observe the way his brothers look at each other and recognize the look from the day when the world ended on a pier in Monaco, and he will see the way Charles nods with a smile that doesn't ever reach his eyes anymore, and he will hear Arthur say matter-of-factly "Where we are from, there is no sun," and he will dig his nails into his palms and close his eyes, because if Charles and Arthur were too young to remember the times when Monaco was the brightest jewel in the light of the sun, Lorenzo wasn't. He won't say anything, though. It will not be his place to remind them of something that will never be, again.)

#im sorry katie im in a mood xD #another pacific rim au #lefrères #f1 rpf #effervescentdragonwrites #my writing #angst i guess

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