#Levi ackerman fluffy angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brotheramberland · 10 months

Note

Hello I was wondering if you could do a platonic relationship with Zuko Levi Kakashi , Gojo with their child that’s like a totally a daddy’s kid(?😭) that wants be like them when they grow up and just looks up to them so much and just mimic the things they do and just follows them+how would they feel about it 🥹🫶

Anime characters as fathers with a child!reader.

Characters include: Zuko, Kakashi Hatake, Levi Ackerman, and Satoru Gojo.

Summary: The character's reaction to their child who looks up to them and aspires to be exactly like them.

Please keep in mind: All character and reader interactions are purely platonic. There is NO romance. The reader is somewhere below the age of twelve and is portrayed as non-binary. These drabbles are meant to be platonic, fluffy and comforting.

Notes: For @bellhella. Hi las, I hope you're doing grand. Cute request too, I enjoyed writing it. I added a tiny splash of angst but everything is still pretty fluffy. I try to make each individual drabble unique and different so that viewers can experience a variety of emotions. I hope that's alright. Remember to keep your head up, stay safe and stay awesome!

✿ೋ──────────────────────

Fire Lord Zuko

Ever since you were an infant, you had always clung to him and taken after him, claiming that you wanted to be just like him when you grew up. It was an attitude that Zuko found endearing and it made him beam with pride. After all of his past mistakes, a part of him was against your aspirations, but he wouldn't let his own insecurities get in the way of your dreams.

At a surprisingly young age- barely over your toddler years- you had requested to train. And train you did. Constantly you were trying your hardest to learn new maneuvers, techniques and skills. When you mastered something, you always sought his approval and praise. Zuko was impressed by how well you accepted constructive criticism and fought to grow.

During meetings or speeches, you would always sit back quietly and observe him. Then later Zuko would have to clear out rooms so that you could pretend like you were the fire lord giving hundreds of people a big, inspirational speech. Just like him.

Zuko, to say the least, was extremely proud of how you were growing and exceeding in life. He was just as attached to you as you were to him, and he would do anything to help you grow up to be healthier, happier and safer than he ever got to be during his childhood.

Today you had been training outside. Your father had been teaching you how to spit fire by using the strength of your stomach. Despite how strict and serious he could be, Zuko loved how you displayed your own ways of having fun. You say you want to be just like him, but you were also just so unmistakably 'you' and he loved that.

But today you did something that he didn't quite like.

"Daddy," You turned towards your father on the bench you were sitting on, "Will you... Will you burn my eye? The left one."

And the way your question made Zuko feel on the inside was far more painful than any lightning strike could ever be. He dropped his goblet and froze, unable to believe that you could ask such a thing. You wanted him to 'burn' you? Burn you in such a way similar to how he had been burned?

"Dad?" You asked in light concern.

Zuko shot up, his hair swishing as he went to stand in front of you, "You- don't you dare ask for something like that ever again. Do you hear me?"

Flinching, you gape and stutter in fear at his sudden outburst of anger, "I..." You didn't know what to say, "I-I'm sorry, I... I just wanted to be like you-"

"By wanting me to burn you? That's how you justify yourself right now? Nonsense. I will not tolerate this irrational behavior. If you ever ask me or anyone else to burn you again, then I swear on my life you will regret it, do you understand me?"

You couldn't believe he was so angry. You stiffened up, tears pouring out your eyes.

Zuko nearly shouted, his arms shaking, "I said 'do you understand me'?"

"Yes," You cried, burying your face in your hands, "I'm sorry, ok. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad, daddy, please-uhh... I'm sorry."

Breathing fast, Zuko stared at you and felt a sudden cloud of guilt envelope him, and he frowned in regret. He didn't mean to be so harsh, nor did he want you to cry. He just... He just couldn't stand the thought of you suffering in any of the ways he himself had to.

Calming down, Zuko took in a deep breath and went to kneel in front of you. He reached out, grabbed your hands and gently coaxed them away from your face, "I'm sorry."

Using a spare handkerchief, Zuko gently cleaned your teary eyes and running nose, "I didn't mean to get so angry with you. I was just... You have to understand, (y/n), not all parts of me are honorable, and that includes this mark. My father gave me this mark because he despised me, and... Well... I don't despise you, so even if I did burn you it wouldn't be the same. It would never be the same."

Zuko cupped your face and stroked his thumb over your left cheek, "Please know that I am grateful that we are not the same in this way, and I hope that we never will be."

"I'm sorry..." You croak, still ashamed of yourself, "I didn't know."

"It's okay," Zuko lifted his arms out, "It's okay. I'm not angry."

Standing up, you go to bury yourself into the divine safety of your father's arms, sadness still beating within your heart, "I love you, daddy."

Zuko smiled and hugged you close, "I love you too, (y/n), and I can't wait to see what an excellent fire lord you're going to become one day. Even greater than me."

You whimpered, still upset but lifted by his faith and understanding. You had made a mistake today, but it was okay. You would never do it again. And while you would like to be just like your father in every way that counts, there were some things that could never be the same no matter how similar the situation.

✿ೋ─────────

Levi Ackerman

He woke up to the obnoxious sensation of someone's hand shaking his shoulder, and he groaned grumpily in irritation. "Wake up, daddy," Your ridiculously energetic voice called, "Daddy, come on, it's time to get up."

Levi creaked open his eyes and glared at you, "Hey, wanna know how you can be just like me?"

"How?" You instantly beamed.

"By being tired and going back to sleep," Levi grumbled, grabbing the blankets and yanking them up over his head.

You weren't having any of it though, and you crawled on top of him and began wrestling to get the blanket off. Technically this was how Levi used to have to get you out of bed when you were smaller, but the more you grew the more you wanted to be 'just like him'.

Yay...

By the time you both had playfully wrestled each other out of bed, Levi yawned multiple times while being drug to the bathroom. Darn thing, you were getting good at locating his ticklish spots... In the bathroom, you both brushed your teeth, washed your faces and combed your messy hair.

Although half asleep, Levi still adored how you continously glanced at him to see how he was dressed, what he was doing and how he was doing it. You were always mimicking silly little things he did, exclaiming that you were practicing to be just like him.

Deep down, Levi had nothing but adoration for you. He loved the way you stood to be like him. It made him feel a sense of pride inside that he had such a strong, brave, loyal pipsqueak for a child, and you had no idea how much he loved you.

The only thing Levi disliked about you aspiring to him was how you ranted about joining the Survey Corps and going over the wall to fight titans. Now that... That made his overprotective, paternal instincts scream in disagreement. In no way did he want you going anywhere near the wall. So many people died out there all the time. If he lost you?

Levi wouldn't be able to handle it.

Before breakfast, you got dressed in nearly the exact same outfit as him (courtesy of Hange). "Daddy, can I wear your cape-thingy?" You asked, already wrapped up in his cape.

"Well what do you expect me to wear?" Levi asked, soaking in the endearing display of you all twisted up in his cape.

"I don't know..." You mumble innocently, smiling, "A blanky?"

"Ha... ha... Very funny, squirt," Levi bent down to untangle you from his cape, bopping you on the nose and pinching your cheek, "Why don't I wear this and 'you' go wear the blanket."

"Mmm..." You pouted at him, "But daddy..."

Levi hid a smile and patted your head fondly, "What if I told you that I used to do the same thing when I was your age?"

"Really?" You asked in surprise. If he wore blankets when he was your age, then that meant that you could do the same thing- follow in his footsteps, "Yay!"

"I never said 'yay' though," Levi rolled his eyes, teasing you.

Your arms dropped as you sneered at him, reacting in a manner he would approve of, "Booo..."

"That's more like it," Levi chuckled and went to make some food.

After breakfast, you held your father's hand while walking to the training grounds, a small blanket secured around your neck to thus act like a cape. When you saw the leader of the Survey Corps, you instantly brightened and cheered, "Erwin!"

Erwin looked in your direction and smiled warmly, "Ah, there's my finest cadet."

Levi watched as you sprinted happily up to his leader, his heart skipping beats when Erwin picked you up and lifted you into the air a bit. Your smile and the sound of your laughter was the inspirational fuel that powered his life.

Blindly joining you and his leader, Levi shrugged and gave you a disapproving look, "Just so you know... I've never hugged that imbecile- not once."

Erwin raised a brow, "On the contrary, I remember once when-"

Levi gave him a death glare, "Dont. Even."

You giggled and said joyfully, "Daddys silly. He loves hugs."

"Yes, that is correct," Erwin chuckled and turned briefly to grab something out of the satchel on his horse. "Come, fellow cadet, I brought you something."

"What is it?" You asked.

Levi felt his chest nearly implode at the sight of a miniature cape. The cape itself was plain with no logo, but yet was perfect enough in size that it would fit you for years to come. He watched as Erwin helped replace the blanket you were wearing with it.

Once he was done, you hugged Erwin, thanked him a dozen times, and then ran over to your father, "Daddy, daddy look! I have a cape, an-and it's just like the one you have. Do you like it, daddy? Do I look like you?"

'The spitting image.' Levi smirked and knelt down, "What're you talking about, squirt? You've got way too much energy to be like me."

"Booo," You pouted at him.

Levi laughed and pulled you into a big hug, "It looks good on you, kid. Now, let's get training."

You would be like him one day. Only Levi believed that you would be better.

✿ೋ─────────

Kakashi Hatake

It was night time; five hours after the Chunin Exams were declared over. You were currently hiding in your little tree-bungalow, isolated, quiet and shut-off from the rest of the world. Ever since you lost the exam, you hadn't moved from your hidey-hole nor spoken to anyone.

It broke Kakashi's heart to see you this upset. He knew how hard you had been training to keep up with him, following him in his footsteps and mimicking specific personality traits like his attire and the way he fought. At first it was a habit Kakashi thought was pretty adorable, but as the seriousness of your obsession grew over the years, the more he began to grow concerned.

Kakashi didn't mind you taking after him, but there was a limit. You didn't understand it because you envied him too much, but he saw it. You weren't like him- at least not when it came down to your fighting spirit. See, Kakashi developed a cold heart at a young age. Anger, hatred and determination pushed him to become stronger.

But you weren't cursed with anger, hate and sadness. You weren't a natural born fighter. If anything, Kakashi could see you becoming a strong-willed medic or a superior ginjutsu artist, but definitely not anyone who wants to hurt another person physically. It just wasn't how you were. And Kakashi was grateful for that.

Sighing softly, Kakashi jumped up to the ledge of your tree-bungalow, crouching as he waved, "Hey, dongo."

You didn't say anything from where you laid on the wooden floor. Kakashi frowned at the sight of your multiple bruises and bloody bandages. He really shouldn't have let you take that exam. "Can I come in?"

You nodded.

Kakashi moved a ways in further, finding himself a spot against the wall and leaning against it, "How are you feeling?"

For a few seconds you didn't answer. Kakashi tilted his head in concern when he noticed that you were shaking, the sound of sniffles soon filling the air, "I... I... I'm a failure, daddy."

You looked at him, your mask a mess as you sobbed behind it, "I'm a failure-uh! I-I-I just wanted-uh- t-to be like you..."

"Whoa, hey, it's okay," Kakashi leaned forward, placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed softly, "It's okay, (y/n). You're not a failure."

"Yes I am," You whined, "You passed the Chunin Exams when 'you' were six, b-but I? I... How am I supposed to be like you now, daddy?"

This? This is what broke Kakashi's heart. You getting upset all because you failed to amount to a broken monster like him. "Oh, dongo, come here," Kakashi lifted his arms out.

You still cried as you crawled into your father's lap and leaned against the warmth and safety of his chest. He slipped a finger up and tugged your mask down to your chin thus making it easier to breathe. You whimpered, clinging to him as shame blurred your heart.

"I wanna talk to you about something," Kakashi held you securely while going to wipe your nose with his sleeve, "I understand why you're trying so hard to follow in my footsteps, but I believe that your ambitions are misguided."

"What... What do you mean?" You ask him sadly, confused, "I wanna be like you."

"I know, but perhaps you are trying a little too hard? I mean, you've even gotten to the point you won't eat the food 'you' love anymore all because it's not my preference."

"But... That's how I be like you, daddy," You exclaim.

Kakashi sighed, looking you in your big, teary eyes. He couldn't believe that it had come down to this, but he couldn't hold it in any longer, "(y/n)... I don't want you to be like me. I want you to be like you."

You jerked at that, gaping hurtfully, "What?"

"I know it sounds harsh, but I want you to know that what I'm saying to you right now is in no way meant to hurt you. I just want you to stop pushing yourself so hard to be something you're not. Yes, we are alike in many ways, but we're also different. And those differences are what make us unique- they define who we are and how we grow. And if you continue to grow ignoring all those important things about yourself, pretending to be something you're not, then I fear that you'll never be completely happy. "

You blinked at him, fiddling slowly with your hands and bowing your head, "I..."

Kakashi cupped your face, lifted your chin and wiped away your tears, "You failed the exams today because you weren't ready, (y/n). You're using fighting techniques that don't suit you because they're 'mine'. You haven't even tried to discover your own fighting skills yet. Haven't you ever been curious?"

"But..." More tears began leaking out of your eyes as you looked at him, "I-I love you so much and I... I wanna be just like you-huh."

"(y/n)," Kakashi said lovingly as he pressed your foreheads together, "You can still be just like me by doing the things that make 'you' happy. I'm a great ninja, and you can be one too if you simply try to be more like you instead of me. No matter what, just know that I'll always, always be proud of you and love you till the day my chakra runs out."

You sniffed at him, still upset by your failure but relieved that your father still loved you despite it all. Yes, you wanted to be just like him, but maybe being yourself sometimes too wasn't such a bad thing either.

✿ೋ─────────

Satoru Gojo

When people looked at you, they felt as if they were looking at a miniature Gojo but with a different hair color. You were quite literally the spitting image of your father, and anyone who knew you or Gojo personally would know that you two were practical besties.

Ever since you were born, you magically seemed to take after Gojo- not that it was your fault because Gojo had a really bad habit of dressing you up like him and pretending that you were the world's greatest sorcerer... Besides him, of course. He couldn't help it. You were his little pal and he loved you more than anything.

As you grew, you pretty much wore identical outfits to that of your father. You had even acquired a pair of reflective sunglasses that you wore almost ninety-percent of the time. But outfits weren't the only areas where you excelled in being like him.

Gojo, even as a parent, wasn't afraid to push people to their limits, especially when they genuinely wanted to become stronger. Ever since your powers developed, he had trained you constantly in order to help you learn and grow. You were exceptional like him, and he knew that there was no time to waste.

Your father pretty much took you everywhere and that even included trips on his most dangerous missions. He would carry you on his hip or back while you watched and listened to him explain how to observe and take down enemies. Later he would quiz you, tossing toys or pieces of candy at you in reward.

Some say that Gojo wasn't so much a father to you as he was a best friend. Especially on days when he didn't have to work or train. He happily expressed his childish side, playing games with you, playing dress-up, going to carnivals, riding on miniature scooters, cooking or coloring pictures. He did it all. It was almost as if he loved being like you as much as you loved being like him.

Every time you expressed your admiration and love for him, Gojo's ego was stroked and his confidence boosted. Of course you wanted to be like him. Why wouldn't you? Narcissistic nature aside, Gojo had to admit that there was a sense of self-worth that he felt deep inside at the fact that you loved him and took after him so strongly. It made him happy. He was always proud of you.

And today he was even more proud of you.

You had just successfully made your very first domain expansion- it was rough, unstable and destructive, and it only lasted a few tiny seconds, but it was still a success. A success... That nearly destroyed the house.

Fushiguro, his cereal now all over the floor in ruins, sat in his chair with a frustrated glare on his face, "What kind of monster have you created?"

Gojo was practically dancing like a feather in the wind, singing excitedly, "One that can make domains at (age) years old."

"Oh brother..." Fushiguro rolled his eyes, gesturing to your unconscious body, "Shouldn't you be helping them?"

"Eh?" Gojo blinked ignorantly, concern flooding his body at the sight of you laying unresponsive on the floor, "Aw, we can't be having any of that now, can we?"

Teleporting over to your body, Gojo scooped you up and took you to the medical bay. It was soon confirmed that the force of your actions had merely knocked you out and given you a bloody nose. With a good lecturing from Nanami about "being a better parent", Gojo carried you back home with an endless grin on his face.

"Daddy?" You groaned in his arms.

Gojo gave you no time to talk as he leaned down and nuzzled your cheek, singing again, "Oh my incredible, amazing, talented, devilishly striking, little sorcerer, I'm so proud of you. You did your first domain expansion. Ohhh, I could cry I'm so happy."

Albeit exhausted, you still grinned in his arms and nuzzled his cheek back. It was always a good feeling to witness your father this excited after one of your successes went through. Still though, that move had taken a lot out of you. "Sleepy."

"I bet," Gojo chuckled, maneuvering you to his hip so that he could properly make his way through the mild debris of the house, "You've rightfully earned yourself a nice bath, a delicious meal, and a warm bed."

"With the heated blanky?" You softly croak.

Gojo stuck his thumb up, "Especially with the heated blanky. You've earned it."

"Thank you, daddy," You whimpered, hugging him and pressing the side of your face against his chest. His heartbeat was fast but comforting, his figure safe, warm and protective. You were so happy that you had managed to pull off such an advanced technique.

Prepping you a bath, Gojo let you wash while he was forced to clean up your mess by the ever fussy Fushiguro- aka: the real adult of the house. After you were both done, he fed you something that would soothe your tummy, and then carried you to bed.

Wrapping you up in your heated blanket, Gojo knelt down and caressed your head, "Good job today, my little jujutsu sorcerer. You really made daddy proud."

You whimpered happily and mumbled, "I hope I can do better. I wanna be just like you one of these days."

Gojo smiled, all the love he felt for you fueling his desire to keep moving forward in this cruel world, "You already are, (y/n)... You already are."

#attack on titan #avatar the last airbender #naruto #jujutsu kaisen #zuko x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #levi ackerman x reader #gojo saturo x reader #child!reader #Platonic love only #no romantic relationships #father drabbles #fluff #comfort

699 notes · View notes

arminsumi · 10 months

Note

hiii! It’s me again! (i’m becoming your fan fr)

so, I wanted to came up with the idea that during the raid on Liberio (s4) armin meets the violetevergarden!reader who is marleyan weapon who got badly injured, and and first sees armin as a treat when he wants to treat her wounds ^^ i would like to see that also with Eren but i think it will be too much work for you…

i will thank you in advance, hope you have nice holiday! take care of yourself ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱ Marley's Guardian

Armin x fem!Marleyan!reader

Overview; Armin feels compelled to help you after you emerge from a fight with Mikasa and Levi badly wounded.

Contents; canon!au, fluffy angst, fraternizing

Warnings; major S4 spoilers!! injuries, war/battle setting

Note; i rewatched a bit of this show and cried, i forgot how beautiful it is. thank you for your lovely request my angel 🥰 you take care too!

p.s. i'd loveee to write this for Eren too but maybe another time hehe

"Keep your eyes and ears alert for her." Levi's voice echoed in Armin's head.

"Mikasa and I will be responsible for slaying Marley's Guardian. The rest of you stay far away from her. I don't need anyone dying on me tonight."

As much as everyone was bitter to admit it, you were the strongest enemy on the other side of the sea.

In the Scouts you were referred to as Marley's Guardian; known to be the soldier that protected them from taking a finishing blow during the Battle of Shiganshina.

Now the invasion of Liberio was at hand.

You were perched on the rooftops, alert and ready for battle when a bolt of lightning descended from the sky and struck the center stage where Willy Tybur was currently giving his impassioned speech.

You watched as his blood was squeezed out of him by Eren Jaeger. The roar didn't send chills down your spine, nor did its appearance frighten you. For you there was nothing to fear, except...

"Your mission is to keep Levi away from Zeke." your captain had instructed beforehand. "Avoid confrontation with two Ackermans."

Armin sat in a vacated apartment, watching out the window as you leaped from rooftop to rooftop and became smoothly airborne in the night sky.

Mikasa and Levi swarmed you, their hearts panging as loudly as yours.

Although you were Armin's enemy, he looked at you with amazement and awe in his big eyes. He was taken by you.

"So that's her..." he thought, watching your battle intently.

You moved swiftly and calculatedly, like a cat.

Armin's eyes struggled to follow you, they were darting around the night sky. Sometimes he lost you, and only found you again when he saw a flicker of ODM gear.

"Blood...?" he muttered under his breath when he saw you again.

You changed course desperately. It seemed like you were trying to escape the overwhelming fight.

You headed straight into the window of the vacated apartment building where Armin was hiding.

"Where is she going — !! "

He pulled out of sight just in time before you hurtled through the window with a violent smash.

The glass was pierced, shards flew everywhere. The sound of breakage and your body thudding on the wooden floor startled the atmosphere.

Armin flinched and reactively shielded himself with his arms as some glass shards struck his body. His cheek begun to bleed, a thin river of crimson ran down it.

He kept one shaky hand on his sword, ready to draw it. Knuckles white.

But his grip loosened when he saw you struggling to push yourself up with two hands.

It felt like a major moment when you and him looked at each other for the first time. For a second, Armin admired your beauty, albeit with a bit of bewilderment in his chest.

Your chest was violently heaving up and down. He could see you were pained by the impact of hurtling through a window, but injured by the fight with relentless Ackermans who now flew back hurriedly to Eren in the main battle.

You looked at him and he looked at you. Panting. Him less than you.

He lowered his gaze to your abdomen. "You're bleeding." he commented.

You didn't respond.

Armin cautiously approached where you limply laid.

"I just want to help you, I promise." the blond assured.

But as he approached you, you made a swipe at him and shuffled away like a cat. He very nearly got scratched.

"I'm not going to hurt you." he said earnestly.

His uniform was stained with blood, his blond hair bespattered with it too.

Armin drew closer. "You can trust me." he said.

He wondered why your eyes were still fearfully staring at him. Then he realized you were eyeing out his blades and gear.

"Will this help?" he dismantled his ODM gear and let it fall to the ground with a metallic thud. "I'm unarmed now."

The apprehensiveness in your face dulled out, but you still had a look of bewilderment as he came closer.

You felt puzzled.

He was a soldier, an enemy; a threat. So why did he show tenderness and humanity to you?

Slowly – for what felt like an infinity of a time – you let him draw closer to you.

He was cautious. Curious. Confused.

Cautious that you might try with your last bit of strength to kill him, but curious about if you would let your enemy treat your wounds. And confused, because he had no idea why he was betraying Levi's order's to stay away from Marley's Guardian.

"It's alright." he said comfortingly.

You remained still, your piercing eyes calculating his movements as he took off his military rucksack to retrieve medical supplies. It made him nervous to be your object of focus, even if you didn't seem hostile anymore.

When he showed gentleness in how he wrapped the bandages around you, you felt... well, you felt something, but you couldn't quite understand what it was or what it meant.

"Your name... what is it?" you asked him. You felt you just had to know his name, at the very least.

He looked up at you, his breath hitching. "Ah – ah, Armin." he said.

"Oh. The God of Destruction?" you remarked.

Armin felt awkward and awful. "I am the Colossal, yes." he admitted almost guiltily.

"That's very strange. You're the God of Destruction, but you're helping me. Why?" you asked blankly.

You seemed doll-like to him, he was absolutely intrigued.

"I... I don't know. I couldn't just leave you here to bleed out."

"But that's what you're supposed to do."

"I know, but I couldn't." he said, temporarily biting an end of the bandage.

Your blood got all over his hands and uniform but he didn't care.

"I don't understand." you furrowed your brows and began to tear up. It was all so confusing that it made you want to cry for some reason.

"Why are you treating me kindly?" you choked.

Armin forced himself to focus on wrapping your bandages or else he would have cried, too.

He breathed heavily as he listened to the battle outside continue.

"Why!"

He didn't answer you.

When he finished tending to your wounds and was sure that you could make it on your own, he disappeared after giving you a long, blue-eyed stare.

#🐬ocean prince #armin #armin arlert #aot #snk #oneshot #angst #violet evergarden #au #armin x reader #armin x fem!reader #fem reader #armin x f reader #armin x y/n #armin x fem reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin armin

134 notes · View notes

spicerackofblorbos · 3 months

Text

Chapter 4: February

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse (to be continued as writing is ongoing)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! Happy (early) Valentine's Day! This would have been out much earlier but I figured since it's February, I would actually release it near the holiday the chapter is actually about. I'm so excited to finally release this into the wild! I'm in the process of working on March but I might take a break to work on some fluffy drabbles/one-shots because tis the season! I'll be back soon with more!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~8.5k (this one is even longer and I'm not even sorry about it)

Your bedroom floor is littered with piles of the clothes you spent the last hour trying on then discarding out of dissatisfaction. You and Hange were expecting company soon and you were standing in just your undergarments while staring into your almost empty closet in disdain. It felt as if you were 17 again, freaking out the morning before a school day because you were not comfortable with any of the fabrics in your wardrobe. You throw your hands up in the air and exhale loudly, thinking to yourself of how hopeless this endeavor was.

With people coming over, you wanted to try and dress up a bit. But in frustration, you opt for your usual wear of jeans and a baggy pullover sweater. Pulling your hair up in two little buns, you just grunt in acceptance. At least you were comfortable, which is the most important factor here. After slipping on a mismatched pair of socks, you pad back into the living room where Hange sat on the floor milling around on her work laptop.

‘Working again?’ You sign at them while passing them to the kitchen. You open a cupboard for a can of black tea. You were told Levi was coming over for the get together and you wanted to make sure there was tea ready. For everyone, of course, not just Levi. Or so you keep telling yourself.

“Just finishing up a couple documents is all. Did you make sure that we had the ingredients for the cookies today?” They mumble from behind the screen, their fingers zooming over the keyboard as they speak. Their eyes flick up at you as you sign a quick yes and they nod in response, shoving their face back into their reports.

You make quick work of the electric tea kettle, pushing the button to get the water boiling before tossing in a couple teaspoons of loose leaves in your favorite teapot. It was a gift from your foster-parents many years ago and it had golden bunnies hopping around on a light teal background. After the kettle shuts itself off, you pour the water into the teapot to steep then place the lid on top gently.

You then set forth to make sure your wipe-off board had fully stocked markers for tonight, placing them on the kitchen bar for you to reach easily. Texting might be faster, but a wipe-off board served better with a crowd of people so everyone could see what you were saying. When you’re satisfied with everything, you then turn to Hange.

It was past two in the afternoon, and they were still in their pajamas with a rat’s nest in place of their hair. Company was due soon and she was still tapping away, so you go up behind them and place your hands on their shoulders gently. She hums in response, not turning to you. You lean forward and place a hand on the laptop, and she stops. They cock their head up to look at you and their glasses glint off the afternoon sun coming through the dining room window. You furrow your brows at them and scrunch your nose.

“Can I help you?” She asks. Nodding, you release your hands to sign to her.

‘You need a shower.’ She purses her lips and averts her gaze.

“I have time, let me just finish this report first.”

‘No, shower first and then come back to this.’

“But-” You cut them off by pinching her cheek, not hard enough to bruise but enough to leave a mark.

‘Don’t make me throw you in the bath, you know I’ll do it.’ You smirk while raising an eyebrow at them. You’re met with an eyeroll, but she saves her work before shutting her laptop anyways. You kiss her forehead from above and then move back so they can stand up.

‘Thanks, don’t forget to wash your ass.’ You laugh silently and she just gives you a disgusted look before heading into her room, laptop under her arm. She flips you a bird before disappearing behind her door. You grin at yourself and then head back to the kitchen to set out some butter to soften.

For Valentine’s Day this year, Hange decided to throw a little party at your shared apartment. You just wanted to bake and watch stupid movies together, but they talked you into socializing. She had said something about today not being just for couples. She wanted to “celebrate singleness”, her words not yours. So of course, you were roped in because honestly, where else would you have to be? But that also meant she had invited quite a few people as well; a few coworkers and Erwin. And with Erwin, the invitation had spread to Miche and Levi. The latter of which you were excited for, no matter how much you told yourself it wasn’t such a big deal.

You smile at how close you and Levi had gotten in the past couple weeks, getting to know each other a little more as the days passed. It mainly consisted of texting each other little things you thought you’d both like or little hangouts at the café after hours. The café meetings were not anything new, of course, but they had a vastly different atmosphere than before. You chalk it up to the friendlier nature and usage of more words around each other.

You preoccupy yourself by pulling out the rest of the necessary ingredients and dishes needed for your baking adventure. One of the compromises Hange had made with you was the allowance of being able to still make your checkerboard cookies regardless of the plans. It was something you had picked up in the last couple years and it quickly became one of your favorite traditions. Hange did not refuse, which you think is mainly because she loved your baked goods and was looking forward to shoving them in her mouth. With that thought, you pull out another stick of butter to make a double batch just in case.

After a while, you place your hands on your hips and nod your head in satisfaction. Your ears pick up the sound of squeaking floorboards coming from Hange’s bedroom which signaled that she had finished bathing. Another noise comes from the front door with someone rapping on the hardwood. When you glance at the clock on the stove, it reads 2:47. Someone was a little early, you think to yourself as you saunter up to the door.

Pulling it open, you’re met with a smiling Erwin holding a small bundle of flowers and a bottle of wine. Miche flanks him with a box of canned beer under one arm, his other out to give you a hug which you run into instantly, making sure to do the same with Erwin. In the last month since their dinner party, it wasn’t just Levi you had gotten close to.

While you were already pretty comfortable with Erwin through your sister, Miche was a confidant you hadn’t expected to have. Throughout the passing days, you found that he was as technologically competent as he was as good of a chef. When he wasn’t behind a computer screen, he was often found sending you obscure recipes through late night text messages that he wanted to try with you.

‘I’m so glad you two could make it!’ You sign to them ecstatically, breaking out into a grin.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Erwin chirps as he winks down at you.

Taking a step back, you lead them through the door with your hand. You peep a quick glance behind them to make sure there was no one else coming. To your disappointment, there wasn’t. You shut the door behind the two men with a sigh. Hange must have talked to them beforehand about the apartment rules because they were quick to pull their shoes off at the door before walking more into the apartment.

You follow them into the living room as you check your phone. No new messages. You had sent Levi a text earlier this morning to see if he was planning to make it, but he had not responded. So, when Erwin places the flowers and wine down on the kitchen counter, you step up next to him to get his attention.

‘Thank you so much for bringing these.’ You hesitate for a moment as he looks down at you patiently. ‘Is Levi still coming?’ You stare up into his bright eyes, his lips twitching in amusement at your question.

“Yes, he is just running a little behind. He had a stop to make before making his way here.” He pats your head and you just blush. But you feel immensely better, knowing that Levi was coming for certain. To not waste the tea you’ve made, of course, you remind yourself. You grab the bouquet of flowers and take a big whiff of them, relishing the sweet scent.

Bending down into a counter beneath you, you grab a vase and get to work trimming the stems so you can place it on the dinner table. Miche is quick to place a couple of his beers in the fridge along with the wine Erwin brought so they would be cold for later.

‘What kind of beer did you bring?’ You sign towards Miche, Erwin translating for you.

“Oh, definitely not something you would like, even if you did drink. I saw it at the store and had to try it though. There’s peanut butter in it apparently.” Miche tilts his head towards the fridge. You make a grimace at him, and he chuckles.

“Hange had said to BYOB but I can’t imagine just having beer would be great, so I elected for something sweeter.” Erwin furrows his eyebrows at the very idea.

‘You do know BYOB doesn’t just mean beer, right? It’s just a figure of speech.’

“Wait, really?”

Just then, Hange comes out sporting a towel wrapped on their head as well as a t-shirt and jeans. They chose to go for the comfortable yet casual look too. She grins widely at the new company and runs to give them both a big hug as well.

“You guys made it!” She shrieks.

“We told you we would.” Erwin’s deep timbre responds back nonchalantly.

“Yeah yeah, but I still worried I ran you off with how much I talked about it. We’re going to have so much fun today!” Hange starts chattering away about the plans she had made for everyone. You giggle to yourself as you listen to them talk excitedly.

Since you weren’t one for alcohol, you always ended up as the mom for everyone, doubly so for your sister. She may be 5 years older than you, but you always felt like more of the responsible one. You didn’t mind it though. You figured it was a good payoff for everything else she does for you on a daily basis. Suddenly, another knock from the front door echoes down the hall and you’re quick to throw the metal bowl you just grabbed from the shelf down onto the counter before running to see who it is.

Much to your dismay, it’s not Levi. When you pull open the door, you see three people; Moblit Berner being one of them, whom you have seen many times since your move here. Hange’s coworkers are all carrying their own vice for tonight in their arms.

You give them a small smile in welcome and Moblit offers a friendly one in return. The two companions behind him consist of Nanaba, someone you have only met twice in passing, and another man, someone you have never seen before. You eyeball him apprehensively as you wave to Nanaba in hello, to which she does the same in response.

“Oh yeah, Onyankopon,” Moblit turns his head over his shoulder to refer to the man. “This is Hange’s little sister.” He says kindly. You wave at the stranger, still wary. The man named Onyankopon is very tall and broad chested with a crew cut that faded up his head. He gives you a big smile that warms up his entire face and speaks to you in a velvety tone.

“It’s nice to officially meet you. You know, your sister talks a lot about you.” His chocolate eyes are even warmer than his demeanor, and you can’t help but grin back at him with a blush, deciding he was okay. You side-step so they can funnel into the door. Your eyes linger down the hallway without meaning to, hoping to see a raven-haired man stalking up to the door. But it remained empty, so you shut it with another sigh and turn back to the ever-growing crowded apartment.

The company sat in various places in the living room while idle chatter filled the space. Some even opted for the floor, Hange being one of them. After a while, you had to remind your sister to take off the towel she had wrapped around her head because she was so engrossed in her conversation that she didn’t even notice it. It had dried for so long that her hair was even more frazzled than before. You just shook your head at her in amusement.

You make yourself busy with the cookies while everyone converses, the noise turning into buzzing. The living room was so cramped with bodies that you could barely breathe, so you found great solace in the kitchen. At this point you had donned on an apron that had floral designs vining their way to the top. It was an attempt to keep the inevitable mess from splattering on to you. While you loved to cook and bake, you were not neat about it in any capacity, but you found that to be the fun of it.

After turning the mixing bowl on to blend the sugar and butter, you turn to your now cold teapot and sigh. It had gone cold, but you hate to waste it; you decide to pour it into a sealable cup to make iced tea with it later.

You start to juggle the choices of either starting a new pot now or waiting until everyone has arrived when your ears perk up at another knock at the door. Your heart now racing at who it could be, you stare out to the living room over the half wall to see if anyone heard but no one had even turned their head. You shut off the mixer then wipe your hands on your apron as you make your way to the door. Taking a deep breath, you pull it open effortlessly.

You can’t keep your face from breaking out into a grin when your eyes fall on the short man with a deadpan expression standing in front of you. Levi. Furlan is there as well, waving at you from behind his friend. You mouth a ‘Hi’ to them both, barely containing the giddiness from the present company.

“Sorry we’re late. Not only did this jerk decide he was tagging along, but he also spent an ungodly amount of time getting ready.” Levi’s gruff voice speaks out to you as he tips his head to Furlan. You meet his soft gaze, and he winks playfully. Levi was wearing a snug, black long sleeve with even darker denim jeans. Your stomach flips as you force yourself to stare into Levi’s metallic eyes.

Waving them in the door, they follow suit and take their shoes off to place next to the pile already sitting by the door. Levi scoffs, no doubt annoyed by the messiness. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how dirty the apartment must look compared to his. After shutting the door behind them, you spin around and almost run right into Levi. You gasp in surprise and step back right into the door with a ‘thud’. Furlan was long gone, and you can hear his playful voice reverberating down the hall as he introduced himself to the rest of the company.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks, concern lacing into his deep voice. You laugh at yourself silently as he eyes you carefully. You nod and wave your hands dismissively at him to show you were indeed okay.

“Mm. I bought these for tonight. Where can I put them?” He shifts three large bottles of various sodas in his arms in awkwardness. His eyes avert from you as he speaks. You stare stunned for a moment as you realize he must have bought them specifically for you. Noticing you haven’t moved, his eyes shift back up to you with an eyebrow raised. Cracking a smile, you nod. The flips in your stomach hardly cease as you tip your head forward to signify where the kitchen was, passing him as well to lead the way.

After he places the bottles in the fridge, he closes the doors, and his eyes widen in surprise at the mess before him. You being you, there was flour everywhere and butter wrappers lie discarded by the mixer. Said mixer was surrounded by sugar from when you missed the bowl earlier. You look away sheepishly as you feel a hard stare at your face.

“Are you a toddler?” He asks, but there is no malice. It almost sounded as if he was amused.

Grabbing one of the wipe-off boards you placed in the kitchen earlier, you pop off a cap and start scrawling. 'Maybe.' Flipping it over to him with a shrug, you see the corners of his mouth twitch.

'Tea?' You point to your cluttered tea station. Levi turns to see an open tin of tea leaves and an empty kettle. He says nothing as he gets to work, doing it all before you can do anything. You gawk at his deft hands as he makes quick work of it all, like he was back in his cafe. Some of his hair fell in his face as his head hung low in focus. After gently placing the porcelain lid back on the pot, he turns back to you.

'You didn't have to do that, you know. I was mainly asking so I could start it.'

"Tch, I was already here. Besides, I'm probably faster at it." You can't argue on that, so you just shrug your shoulders at him again with a slight smile. He leans back against the kitchen counter and studies your face, and you feel your face bloom in heat. You place the board back down on the counter and point to your mess to show you were going to start back on the cookies. Tightening your hair buns, you then wash your hands and get back to work on the mixer, throwing in the ingredients as needed.

After a moment, you hear something rustling behind you and when you glance to the source, you see Levi pulling on the other apron that hung off the fridge. You stare at him curiously and he just tightens the drawstrings behind him as he meets your gaze.

"I'm helping." You hesitate but scoot over in response, and he steps up next to you. Your arms are almost touching, and it takes everything inside of you not to combust. So, you both get to work like that, side by side. The sounds of chatter and laughter from the rest of the group fade out as you both concentrate. You hand him the rest of the ingredients and he carefully pours them in the bowl. When everything is incorporated and set aside, you then measure out the other ingredients for the chocolate portion of the cookies. You don’t see it, but Levi just watches you patiently, admiring your meticulous yet messy way of making sure everything is accurate. When you glance up at him, he looks away quickly.

"Whatcha two up to?" A sly voice rings out after a while. Startled, you both jerk your heads up from the tray you two were placing raw dough cutouts on. It's Hange, leaning on the wall with their chin cradled in two cupped hands. They have a very cheeky grin plastering their face.

"What does it look like, Four-Eyes?" Levi snaps back dryly.

"Well, since you're asking me. It looks like you two are having fun." They wiggle their eyebrows at you and Levi just scoffs and averts his gaze. Your cheeks flare up again because you were definitely having fun, but you weren’t going to admit that. Hange tuts at you two and reaches over to pat you on the head lovingly.

"I just came over because you were both ignoring our calls." Looking over their shoulder, you see Erwin eyeballing you and Levi with a raised eyebrow. He takes a sip of his drink and looks away to keep talking to Moblit and Onyankopon. Nanaba, Furlan, and Miche broke out a deck of cards and are in the middle of a game of Poker.

'Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.' You sign to her, frowning.

"No worries, we were just wondering if you guys were hungry. We were thinking of pizza!" They clap their hands excitedly. They were always thinking of pizza, you laugh to yourself. Hange loves pizza so much that even the mere mention of its cheesy goodness would summon them right then and there. Your stomach rumbles just thinking about it as well, so you nod.

"I could eat." Levi states as he lifts his teacup to his lips, three fingertips on the rim. Him doing so reminds you of the cup Levi had poured for you that you had left to get cold. You lightly touch the sides of it, and it still feels warm. As you take a sip, you’re hit with the boldness of the leaf blend you had chosen as well as a perfect amount of sweetness. ‘Levi makes the best tea’, you think to yourself.

"Perfect, I'll get those ordered. We'll just stick to the basics, yeah?" She pulls out her phone and starts dialing the nearest pizza place while walking away to join everyone in the living room. Levi picks up the couple of trays filled with raw cookies and slides them into the pre-heated oven. When he turns around, you can't help but silently chuckle as you take a closer look at his face for the first time since you both started your venture.

There is a streak of cocoa powder on his forehead that starkly contrasts on his pale skin. You point to it and your shoulders bounce in silent laughter as he brings a hand up to it to rub the spot. His eyes go wide as he notices the brown powder that is now staining his fingers. He grabs the towel you had draped over the dishwasher to wipe it away, his ears turning pink. He turns away from you as he does.

You eye Levi as he folds the towel neatly and puts it back where he got it from, huffing under his breath. He then starts gathering the dirty dishes and piles them into the sink, tugging on the faucet to rinse them off. While he's busy on that, you begin wiping down the counters with a wet rag. Levi gives you a side-eye and you meet his gaze, giving him a warm smile. He looks away again to focus on a bowl he was currently spraying with hot water. As you stare at him for a second longer, you can’t help but think how well you two worked together.

You grab the board once more and write, ‘Thank you for your help. (:’ before flipping the board over to Levi as he dries his hands on the towel. His eyes trail the words, and he glances up at you with indifference.

“Mm.” He hums. His eyes flick over to the timer that was set on the stove as he leans back against the sink and takes another sip of his tea. The cookies had eight minutes left. It almost felt as if he was reading your mind because neither of you moved with the intention leaving the calm kitchen. When you look over to the living space, you see everyone talking over each other in lively conversation. Onyankopon is pointing at the small fish tank that sat nestled in the corner of the room as he shouts over to Hange, who is in the middle of cleaning off the coffee table.

“Hange, I didn’t know you had fish.” He bends down to take a closer look at the two little fish darting around shifting plants.

“Oh yes, they’re my little babies!” She stands straight up and jumps over to the tank and continues as she points at the respective tetras. “This one is Sonny and this one is Bean!” You can’t help but chuckle internally at your over enthusiastic sister. Ever since you both moved to Jinae, Hange really wanted pets. They had requested a dog, but they were too overwhelming for you. She wasn’t really around enough to be able to spend time with them anyways which meant most of it would fall on to you and you weren’t okay with that. So, you both compromised on her getting a couple fish to start out with and would think about the notion again later. Thus far, Hange has been very content with them and hasn’t asked for anything else.

“They’re gorgeous, Hange.” Onyankopon compliments as he stares at the tank. Hange slaps him on the shoulder in appreciation and starts rambling off the reasons why she chose tetras and all the research she did on them.

“That’s it, boys. I win!” Nanaba shouts from the dining table, slamming her cards onto the hard surface. Furlan and Miche groan in frustration, the latter rubbing his face in exhaustion.

“I swear you’re cheating.” Furlan sits back in his chair as he places his own hand down.

“I second that.” Miche leans over to stare at her cards and just sighs. Dejected, he gets up and wanders towards the bathroom, almost running into Erwin as he emerges from that same direction.

“C’mon guys, at least I vetoed any betting.” She calls out, smirking as she piles the cards up and starts shuffling them.

“You just did that out of pity.” Nanaba just cackles maniacally at Furlan’s dispirited comment.

“Hange, there are too many men in here.” She twists in her chair to face your sister who turns to acknowledge Nanaba’s complaint.

“Psh, I’ll drink to that.” And she does, holding her drink up in cheers and takes a big gulp. You roll your eyes, but you agree. There were way too many men in your apartment right now. Just then, there’s a knock at the door and Hange stands up quickly, face alert like a meerkat in the African wilderness.

“Pizza!” They yell and then they’re off to the front door, a wad of cash in hand.

At the same time, the timer goes off with a soft beeping and you’re quick to grab the oven mitts to pull the trays out. You gingerly place the trays on the stovetop to let them cool and Levi reaches past you to turn off the oven, his face in your periphery as you glance to the side. His movements waft his scent straight into your nose and you find yourself breathing it in deeply. He smelled of clean laundry with a hint of body wash. It isn’t overpowering in the slightest and you revel in it.

“You two are missing out on the fun cooping up in here.” Someone speaks out behind you two as they walk through the archway to the kitchen. You both jump at the voice and turn to see Erwin holding an armful of empty alcohol containers.

“Tch, it beats being surrounded by a bunch of loud mouths.” Levi counters, turning back to the cookies to inspect them. You reach over to grab the trash can and hold it up to Erwin for him to dump the trash. Hange comes in behind him and places four stacked pizza boxes on the counter next to you. You stare at your sister in awe and sign, ‘That’s a lot of pizza.’

“I know but I didn’t know how hungry everyone was. Besides! Leftovers.” They give another cheeky grin, and you just playfully punch her arm. Reaching up in the cupboard behind you, you grab a handful of plates for everyone as well a cup for you, now realizing how parched your throat was.

“Oi, grab me one too.” Levi asks next to you, so you grab another after setting what you held down first. When you turn to hand it to him, he’s a lot closer than you expected and accidentally hit him in the side of the head with the glass in hand. He doesn’t even flinch. He’s looking up at you with knit eyebrows and a thin line in place of his lips.

“Ow.” You hear Erwin and Hange stifling laughter as they organize the pizza boxes.

You set the cup down and start signing frantically, ‘I’m sorry.’ over and over again. You place both of your hands on his face and tilt it so you could get a better look at the spot where you hit him, filled with relief when you find no visible damage. You’re in such a panic that you don’t even notice his stunned disposition. Your hands feel so warm against his cool skin, and it’s so soft. You realize what you’re doing after a moment and let your arms drop to your side, mouthing an apology and stepping away from him.

“It’s fine. I didn’t realize how long your arms were.” He mumbles as he walks over to the fridge without another word, cup in one hand, his other pressing against the spot where you smacked him. How long your arms were? That was such a weird thing to say. Flustered, you grab the plates and shuffle them over to the counter with the pizza. Now that they have opened the boxes, you get a closer look at the options.

There were a couple cheeses, one pepperoni, and one pineapple. Your eyes light up and you gaze at Hange with adoration, forgetting what just happened mere moments ago. They wink at you then call for everyone to plate up ‘while it’s hot’.

Yes, you ate pineapple on your pizza. It first began as a joke just to spite those who turned it down, but then you found out you actually enjoyed the taste. There was something about the sweet and savory flavors that blended perfectly.

Levi comes over with two glasses and hands one with what looked to be a dark cola to you. You mouth a ‘thank you’ as you watch his face twist in disgust as he eyes the boxes in front of him. “Are those pineapples?” Levi leans in for a better look, eyebrows knit.

“Pineapples?!” Furlan rushes over from the table to look at the pizza, the new poker game forgotten. “Alright, who’s the one who asked for them?” He looks around the room and spots you with your hand raised in the air.

“Oh my gosh I could hug you right now. Pineapple on pizza is the best!” He exclaims. He leans over the half wall to marvel at it and then looks back up to you with a massive smile. Levi clicks his tongue and grabs a slice out of the cheese box then makes his way into the living room. You can’t help but feel sad at the sudden absence.

“Okay, okay. My turn. Hange. Your obsession with zombies, what the fuck is up with that?” Nanaba leans on the coffee table in anticipation. Your sister just cackles and sits up straight as they push their glasses up their nose with a finger. There’s a glimmer in their eyes.

“That’s hardly a difficult question. I grew up watching zombie movies and I just need to know how they tick. Like what kind of sorcery goes into making them do the things they do?!”

“Hange, they’re fictional creatures, there’s no science that could ever explain that!” Moblit shouts from next to her, exhausted. Hange just laughs and goes on a tangent about possible ways to make and cure zombies, but you zone out as it’s a conversation you have had with them for many years. Looking around the table, you smile to yourself. Tonight has been such a fulfilling evening for you. Being around familiar faces as well as getting to know new ones brought more joy to you than you expected. Not to mention this ridiculous game you were all playing that made your face ache from laughter.

Miche had come up with a game called “What the fuck is up with that?” as a way to wind down from such a big dinner. Players ask someone something personal about their life and follow it with ‘what the fuck is up with that?’ and if they refuse to answer it, they have to take a drink. It honestly felt like a more cracked version of “Truth or Dare” but it was fun, nonetheless. You, of course, nursed soda in your hands instead of alcohol so you were the most sober one here.

So far, no one was really trashed. Tipsy, definitely; There were some words that were starting to slur. What surprised you the most was Levi’s soberness in comparison to everyone else considering how many times he had to take a drink. It figures that any questions directed to him, he opted for silence. You do, however, notice his cheeks were ever so slightly flushed when you glance at him next to you. He radiated an aura of relaxation, which you can’t help but assume is a rare thing for him. He turns to meet your gaze, not looking away after what felt like a good minute.

“Okay okay, we get it Hange. Enough!” Your attention is snapped back into the present company, and you break eye contact to see Onyankopon laughing and throwing a balled-up napkin at Hange’s face to shut her up.

“Fine, sorry! Hmm…” Their eyes wander on the people sitting in the circle with them until they land on Furlan’s face. “Alright, Furlan. You! You’re single and you’re extremely attractive. What the fuck is up with that?” Everyone’s attention shifts to Furlan’s bright red face.

“What the fuck is up with the singleness or the attractiveness?” His voice sounds an octave higher.

“Well, both, obviously, dumbass.” Nanaba pitches in.

“I well. Uh.” His eyes flicker to yours and then look away just as quickly. “I just haven’t found what I was looking for yet, I guess. And for the attractiveness, I just am?” He shrugs his shoulders and laughs nervously. He takes a sip of his drink anyways as he averts his gaze to anything but the people in front of him.

“Hmmm. I don’t know if I’m okay with that answer, but I’ll let it slide. Okay, you pick the next one!”

“Oh okay, uhh.” His eyes travel around until they lock eyes with you again. “The berry nickname. What the fuck is up with that?” Everyone’s gaze now shifts on you. You realize that Hange had called you her ‘little berry’ in front of everyone but had never really given an explanation. You bite your bottom lip and start scrawling on your board. Everyone waits for you patiently and a wave of gratitude washes over you. They really were a great group of friends.

‘When I was younger, I used to steal Hange’s berries from their parfaits.’ You flip the board, and everyone is silent as they read. They burst into laughter one by one, Hange included. Even Levi’s scarred mouth has an upturn. You couldn’t give the full story because it would be too long for you to write, but growing up in the foster system meant you were deprived of a lot of good things, one of those being fresh fruit. So, when the night came when the Zoe’s officially adopted you and they wanted to celebrate with parfaits, you went absolutely feral. You had never tasted anything like fresh berries before and they quickly became your favorite thing in the world, next to your sister of course.

“You guys should have seen her for the month after that. All she wanted was berries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She prefers strawberries, but we don’t discriminate here. All berries are valid!” She yells, taking another sip of her drink. You laugh silently along with them and start thinking of the next victim. After a few moments, you scribble down what was on your mind. Then you point to Erwin and his eyes bulge at the sudden movement but straightens up anyways, clearing his throat.

‘So Erwin, I notice you’ve been taking my sister out for drinks quite often. Your relationship with them, what the fuck is up with that?” You smile innocently at your sister’s composed face.

“Psh, easy.” He pats your sister on the head and Hange just laughs in response, swatting at it. “You of all people know how fun she is to be around. More so when she’s drunk. She’s a great karaoke partner.” They clink the bottles they had in their hands together and smile at each other. You furrow your eyebrows and stick your tongue out.

‘Boooooooo.’ You write and your sister just shoves your shoulder.

“C’mon, you can’t seriously think there’s anything happening between this,” Hange wiggles their index finger in between her and Erwin. “Like really. We’re definitely not each other’s type.”

Miche snorts and mutters something under his breath but you can’t hear the words. Erwin chuckles and nods in agreement then takes another sip of his drink as he surveys the faces in front of him. They land on Levi and his gray eyes bore into Erwin’s crystal blue.

“Hey Levi…” Erwin has a smirk playing on his lips as he stares at his best friend. “I notice you’ve been smiling when you look down at your phone recently. What the fuck is up with that?” Erwin’s eyes sparkle mischievously. Levi just scoffs but you gawk at him with wide eyes, along with Furlan and Hange. Levi doesn’t smile. Sure, you can always tell when he’s fighting it. But you’ve never seen his curt demeanor break into joy.

Levi narrows his eyes on Erwin then answers with a big swig of his glass, finishing off the contents in it as he continues to stare at his friend. Levi’s face is certainly more flushed than before, the tips of his ears bright red as well. He looks away, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

“Booooooo!” Hange echoes what you had exclaimed earlier.

“Leeeeeviiii! Are you talking with someone?! I thought you were mine.” Furlan pouts, arms crossed.

“It’s none of your goddamn business.” Levi’s voice is brusque. He gets up from his spot quickly and takes his empty glass to the kitchen.

“What do you mean? I think your friends deserve to know.” Hange sits up on their knees to call over to Levi’s backside.

“Then we’re not friends.” He says and disappears down the hall to the bathroom.

“Is he always like that?” Nanaba questions as she finishes her own drink as she stares down the hallway.

“Yes, it’s very normal for him.” Erwin states matter-of-factly, chuckling at the rise he got from Levi.

“Short and angry. It’s quite the combo.” Onyankopon cuts in, grinning.

You fidget with the wipe-off marker as you think about how he reacted. It wasn’t very surprising to you. Levi is a very private man when it comes to such things. All of the conversations you had with him were still on a fundamental surface layer. You knew better than to ask anything deeper for fear of him shutting you out, like he just did with Erwin’s question. Levi, at least, didn’t sound angry right now, but you suspect it was because it was someone so close to him asking such a question. If it was you… then. Well, you were scared of what he might do from such an intimate question.

“Yanno what, it’s probably about that time I head out. It’s getting pretty late.” Moblit chimes in as he starts to get up from his spot on the floor.

“Whaaat!? We still have one more thing left to do. Besides, it’s literally,” Hange takes a glance at the clock on the wall. “10:30. Just a little longer??” They clasp their hands as they beg, staring up at her friend.

“I must agree with Moblit here, we need to submit our report before the end of this week.” Onyankopon replies as he gets up as well. He squeezes Hange’s shoulder as he speaks with a slight smile. Hange sticks her bottom lip out.

“Fine, fine. But just know, you’re missing out on only the greatest tradition ever: Making fun of stupid romance movies.”

“I wanna do that!” Nanaba cuts in, laughing at the idea.

“Nanaba, we’re literally your ride home.” Moblit calls out from the dining room as he pulls on his winter jacket. Grabbing Nanaba’s as well, he makes sure to pick up the deck of cards they brought and shoves it into her jacket pocket.

“Boo.” She gets up clumsily and huffs. “You two are no fun.”

“What she said.” Hange says, sticking her tongue out again.

“Seriously though, Hange. Great party. We had a really good time.” Onyankopon compliments as he zips up his own coat. At this point, everyone is standing up as they talk to each other. You glance over and notice that Miche is getting ready to leave too.

‘You’re going too?’ You scrawl to him quickly.

“Ah yes, unfortunately IT never takes a break.” He mutters to you solemnly as you go in to give him a tight hug. “Are we still on for next Wednesday?” You nod at him with a cheerful grin. “Great, I’ll see you then.” He ruffles your hair and walks past to say goodbye to everyone else.

After a few more goodbyes, it’s just you, Hange, Erwin, and Furlan standing in the living room. Your sister and Erwin were conversing about what movie to watch as Furlan shuffles up next to you. Levi still hadn’t come out of the bathroom yet.

“I bet he’s taking a shit.” His blasé statement makes you giggle uncontrollably, your shoulders shaking as you do. You hold your hand to your mouth to compose yourself as you give Furlan such a bewildered look. He just winks at you.

“Furlan, I’m going to kick your ass.” Levi’s sharp voice cuts in behind you both and it makes you both jump.

“Hey now, I was just kidding.” Furlan’s voice wavers as he takes a step back. You wave at Levi with a warm smile, but he just averts his gaze and goes to sit down on the sofa, one leg crossed on his knee. Biting your cheek, you go and find a spot on the floor, making sure to put a pillow under your butt for comfort. Hange and Erwin are flicking through a bunch of streaming apps trying to find the chosen movie for tonight.

“Ah okay, I know what we’re doing!” Hange slaps their hands together in finality. Erwin makes his way to the armchair and sits back with a heavy sigh.

“Not my first choice.” He says, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“Oh c’mon. Everything about it screams bad romance. Plus, it’s the worst out of all of them.”

“Hange, you never cease to amaze me.” Furlan states as he takes the spot next to Levi.

Twilight: New Moon? Really? In your heart of hearts, you couldn’t completely hate Twilight as you were practically obsessed with it in your late teens. But you had to agree, it wasn’t the best out of the five films. It’s like Hange knew what you were thinking because they stare directly into your eyes and wiggle their eyebrows at you teasingly. You roll your eyes, and she chuckles.

“Move it, sis. I’m going for the spot behind you.” Hange slips past you to sit on the couch right next to Levi’s other side. You back up so you’re sandwiched in between Hange’s legs, and you yawn with the added warmth. You had a fleeting thought of not being able to finish the movie before falling asleep. How right you were. You don’t even make it past Bella’s dream sequence, drifting off into your own little world. The smell of clean laundry and musky body wash permeates your senses as you do.

Levi isn’t even paying attention to the movie. Even if it was something he was interested in, his focus could not be kept on the screen. Levi felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest as he felt the weight of you leaning against his bad leg. Your soft cheek pressed into his knee while you slept soundly. His joints have been aching for the last hour, but he would sooner touch fire before disturbing you. He couldn’t see your face very well from this angle, but he could only assume how peaceful you looked right now. Your hair is still in buns, but they were much messier than before from the activities of the day, hair falling every which way.

As you sighed softly in your sleep, his mind raced with everything that had happened today. From the ecstatic look in your eyes when you opened the front door to when you had gently cradled his head in your warm hands after hitting him on accident, making sure you didn’t hurt him. He still felt tingles of your touch shooting through his nervous system from that. And making cookies with you, he had more fun than he could admit. You were so meticulous and careful, albeit chaotic in your ways. He found it so endearing.

Then that damn Erwin asking that stupid question. Erwin knew and still egged him on. Of course, it was you; you were the reason why his heart and stomach did flips whenever he heard his phone vibrate. He wouldn’t allow anyone to know that though, especially you. Not when you already seem so entwined in other people’s lives.

Levi hadn’t missed Furlan’s interest in you. His longtime friend often stated that he wanted to get to know you even more. Not to mention Furlan’s tactless ways of wanting to include you in everything he made plans to do. It seemed as if you weren’t aware of his intentions though, so maybe he wasn’t clear enough. Levi hopes you never pick up on it.

And of course, there was Miche. What kind of relationship did you have with him? Levi didn’t mishear how you had plans with him next week. And the intimate touching? What was that all about? The relationship with Miche did not seem romantic from his viewpoint, but then again.

Levi was never the jealous type, or so he thought. He found that any attention aimed at you ruffled him. What about you made him feel like this? He scoffs under his breath, not able to look away from the back of your head. Hange stops munching on the cookie in her hands and turns at the sound, now noticing you fast asleep on Levi’s knee.

“Want me to take her for you?” They whisper to Levi, shifting to stand up.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want you to miss out on prime Eduardo and Beatrice or whoever the fuck these people are.” Levi waves his hand dismissively and carefully gets up, making sure to move your head so it doesn’t flop forward. “Which one is her room?” He asks as he stares down at Hange. They regard him in curiosity but smile regardless.

“The door with the sakuras on them.” Levi nods and bends down to effortlessly pick you up despite his smaller frame, cradling you as your head falls back. You’re deeply asleep at this point, he assumes, because you make no motion from the disturbance. Levi feels the stares from Furlan and Erwin as he steps over everyone to make it to the set of bedroom doors down the hall.

As he delicately places you on your bed, he starts to pull the soft comforter up to cover you but then you shift in your sleep, making him pause. With the confirmation of your sleep-induced heavy breathing, he pulls the blanket up the rest of the way and takes a long look at your soft features. The peace that radiated off your face was something he delighted in. How beautiful you were to him.

On his way out, he steps slowly to the door, being mindful of his surroundings as he goes. He spots a couple of framed pictures that littered your cluttered desk. One catches his eye in particular; It’s a photo of when you were very young, maybe 5 or so. He takes a step forward for a closer look, minding the creaking floorboards carefully. An unsettling feeling runs cold in his veins as he recognizes the family that surrounded you as well as the house in the background. He knew that family and he knew that house, and he came to realize he knew you as well.

A flashback hits him like a brick. One of him and the boy in the photo, your brother, playing outside until the sunset. Of you yelling for him with your small voice that it was time for dinner and that he needed to come home. Of your little pigtails completely askew as you cried after falling on the gravel due to a skateboard accident from when him and your brother tried to teach you how to balance on it. Of him giving you a flower to distract you from the pain and your bleeding kneecaps. Of having to move away because his good for nothing father threatened his mom and Levi had warned him to try. Of you and your family waving goodbye as he stared from the rear window, the view of your tear-streaked face getting smaller and smaller as his mom drove away.

He had forgotten all about you, and it seemed you had forgotten about him. A breath hitches in his throat and he turns to look back at you, your face scrunched up from a dream as you pull the blankets closer. No wonder he felt compelled to you, almost like he needed to protect you. With a soft sigh, he creeps slowly to the door and slips out before shutting it close behind him.

You roll over in your sleep, sighing again, the night of the fire haunting your dreams.

☾ Previous Chapter: January ☾ Next Chapter: March

36 notes · View notes

3llawrit3s · 1 month

Text

In Another Life

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Zombie apocalypse au!

Just a little teaser for my fic! I am currently working on chapter one as we speak.

Warnings: mentions of gore, angst.

Tags- @cutecinnamon

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The wind howls while the trees dance. You lay there, staring up at the big blue yonder, wondering how you got there. The birds sing and glide beneath the fluffy clouds. The sunshine powerful heat nips at the exposed skin on your face and arms. The sharp needles of grass beneath you poke into your back. You turn your head. He lays beside you, red staining his pale skin and raven black hair. His eyes are closed, a deep open wound leading from his left eye to his plump lips. His hair is messy sprawled about on the green. He’s in terrible shape. But you’re not one to talk since you probably look worse. You look back at the sky, which is now gray instead of blue. The clouds are dark and holding back their tears. You no longer beat any bird song and the warmth of the sun is replaced with a gush of wind, sending chills down your spine. A sharp pain shoots through your being, causing a whine to escape from your cracked lips. You try to scream yet nothing comes out. You lift your head, to try and see what was causing this agonizing pain. Your eyes are met with dead ones. Sharp, red stained teeth tear into your flesh as their nails the skin from your body. Your head fall back to the ground. You turn your head back to the lifeless ravenette beside you. The man you once called yours. I guess this was just your luck. Here you are, being separated from the love of your life once again. You find each other, only to be torn apart again. Apart of you wonders if, you and him were just many to part ways, only so that you could find each other again. Could the world be that cruel? You picture yourself beside him on that roof, alive and safe, staring up at the dark sky that was decorated with millions of stars. The two of you sat there in silence. A silence that is not awkward but comforting. That’s how things were either him. It was just the two of you. Hand in hand. If only you could go back. Go back and wrap your arms around him, to hold him, to kiss him. To hear his voice one last time. You wish for the world to take you back to the night you met. The night your story began. Sometimes you wonder if you could have gotten married, bought a house, or started a family. Maybe in another life you could have. You will always love Levi Ackerman. Even though your heart has long stopped beating. Maybe, when you are ready, you will meet again. In another life.

Maybe, just maybe.

#levi ackerman #levi #attack on titan #zombie #post apocalyptic #levi x reader #fyp #angst #aot angst #aot

23 notes · View notes

chaotic-on-main · 10 months

Text

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you.

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

“You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

If you'd like to be a part of my taglist to be notified for not only the rest of this fic but for my other writings, please go here!

☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

86 notes · View notes

nixie-writes-aot · 1 year

Note

ok, another Levi x male reader thought is that the reader excelles in using 3d maneuver gear. and everyones like 'omg, they must be so focused on everything they need to do, they must be doing a lot of calculations to make sure their being precise' but no. They got no thoughts going through their head.

and like, they don't correct anyone. they don't wanna know what others would think if they said 'yeah, Idk how I'm at the top of my class, I just like moving around fast'

But maybe Levi can tell?? Cuz like, he's probably constantly making observations. And maybe one day their making their way to their usual isolated seat in the mess hall when either Hange or Erwin call them over to discuss something w them. Idk what, maybe hange has an experiment they want help with or erwin has something to ask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe fluff, and mayhaps sput if you can figure out how to work it in there??

A Whole New Light

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, near death experience, minor angst

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Male Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

You had always been the top of your class, you couldn't remember when that happened. One day, you were struggling with learning the gear and the next… You were just soaring. It confused your commandant but… You never gave it too much mind. Why would you? You had heard it all.

"He must be cheating."

"Who taught him how to do that?"

"How much does he practice?"

Those sentiments were the most common. You didn't even know how to explain that you simply enjoyed it. So, here you were. With those who had originally met you years ago in the Cadet Corps and even new ones that had already been in the Scouts. You flew through the air, all your anxieties and worries melting away as if they never existed in the first place. As if on autopilot, your body twisted and moved, wires guiding your body. You flew past several titan dummies, slicing out the cushion napes on the crude wooden figures. The feeling of being able to forget your stresses was one that was desperately needed this time, even as you could still feel so many eyes on you. Old ones, new ones. Did it really matter?

No.

You decided. That it didn't really matter. You were alive and that was what really mattered.

At the end of it, you landed with a roll. Honestly, it was more so you crashing to the ground. You just laid there, on your back, eyes staring up through the trees and at the ever so slightly cloudy sky. Those clouds looked like big, fluffy pillows to you. A shadow crossed over you, prompting you to sit up and look up at the person who's shadow had disrupted your rest. Your eyes fell on the short form of the one and only: Captain Levi. You scrambled to your feet and curled your arms into a salute.

"Sir!" You greeted.

"Tch. Calm down." Levi scoffed.

You nodded, settling your arms at your sides and letting the tension fade away from your muscles. He seemed to see something about you that no one else had. It unnerved you, if you were being completely honest. Levi only nodded, walking away to instruct another cadet to go back through the titan dummy course. You sighed, turning towards the training grounds. Sure, you liked flying but… It only seemed to add another stressor into your life this time so maybe sparring would help you this time.

—

Evidently, it hadn't helped. You, apparently, were not very skilled at sparring. Especially when the question was you against one of the new cadets, Reiner.

"Damn… He's built like a mountain." You grumbled as you made your way to your typical corner, the soreness deep in your muscles. You sat down at the table, staring down with an exasperated sigh. Just as you had sat down pretty much, a voice beckoned your name. You looked up, meeting the blue eyes of your commander. You stood, walking across the mess hall and sitting down, uneasy as you glanced to Levi.

"Your skills with the ODM gear are commendable, cadet." Erwin complimented, which prompted you to perk up, "We'd like you to undergo some particularly exclusive training with Levi."

You looked at the man, face paling. You had heard about how brutal his training regiment was. Levi's face gave nothing away, only standing with a nod.

"I'll see you at six am sharp." Levi stated, walking off.

Hange laughed, "You'll do great! He knows what limits are!" You looked up at them, nodding. They ended up distracting themself with Miche, talking about something you weren't paying attention to. You felt your mouth go dry as you settled your gaze on your hands.

I am dead. I'm dead. He's going to kill me and I will have died!

Your thoughts were dramatic, you were pretty sure. After all, wasn't it just training? What's the worst that could possibly happen?

—

As it turns out, the worst was being undeniably sore and feeling your muscles all but give up on you. You laid there in the dirt, the short captain staring down at you with, what looked like at least, the ghost of a smile spread across his lips. You blinked rapidly, staring up at him as he offered his hand. You took it, feeling him pull you to your feet.

"Not bad, brat." Levi commented.

You perked up at what seemed to be praise. From Humanity's Strongest, no less. However, that was dashed away without a moment's notice as he continued.

"Unlike your other captain, however, not bad isn't actually good enough. Go again."

You groaned, letting the hooks bury themselves into the nearby tree that started the forest and took off. Levi's steel grey eyes followed your form, observing the almost clumsy way you zipped through the trees. Now being forced to actually put thought into it, you weren't nearly as agile and graceful. You could feel his eyes on you, watching carefully. You landed on a branch, adjusting your gear and posture before taking off again. This time, you stubbornly kept at it. In fact, you were so stubborn about it, in fact, that you forgot about Levi. Well, Levi and your gas. After hours of this, who could blame you?

Well, Levi could without a doubt. You were certain of that. The feeling of suddenly falling back was alarming, your mouth gaped open in what was meant to be a scream but in your horror, you had no air in your lungs to scream. The tears filled your eyes, heart racing a million miles per hour. You had only meant it dramatically when you said you were going to die.

The feeling of suddenly soaring didn't really register even as you clung to the man who caught you. Hell, it barely registered as he landed on the ground and you practically threw yourself to the ground. You were full on sobbing now, clenching your fists around the grass. Levi crouched beside you, watching you curl up on the grassy ground.

"Hey. Brat." Levi whispered, keeping his voice quiet and low on purpose, "You did good."

You looked up through your tear filled gaze, not making many details of Levi's face out due to your blurry vision. You quieted for a moment before almost bitterly laughing, it was manic in a way.

"You- you-" you rolled over on your back and slapping a hand over the left side of your face, another laugh leaving your lips.

He wasn't even blaming you a little.

Levi sat beside you, taking in your every detail. He had to question, what exactly intrigued him so much that he had been blind to your limits? Well, your gear's limits.

"... Praise doesn't suit you, Captain." You finally spoke.

Levi let out a soft chuckle, "I guess it doesn't, brat, but you earned it."

You perked up, rubbing at your eyes before sitting up and taking in Levi. A new perspective to your observations. You were seeing him in an entirely new light. It seemed, he was seeing you differently too. You wanted to try something, standing up and offering him your hand like he had you before. Levi scoffed but took your outstretched hand, feeling you pull him up. Emboldened by whatever fear was still clutched tight around you, you leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his cheek before running off.

"See you tomorrow, Captain!" You called out to him.

Levi stood there, staring after you in shock. The surprise on his face melted into a fondness.

"Yeah, brat, see you tomorrow." Levi whispered with a smile that was soft, loving yet barely there.

#nix writes #nix dreams #nix screams #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #aot #snk #levi ackerman #male reader #afterhourswjay #levi ackerman x reader #reader insert #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines

234 notes · View notes

jayteacups · 2 years

Note

Hey Jay! i just read this and i was wondering if you could make a version where fem!reader-chan survives please? (with a lot of angst, but fluff and a happy ending, because Levi deserves it)

Onwards Past to Eternity

"Levi settles on gingerly reaching for you instead, his fingers brushing sweat-slicked strands of hair out of your face. Perhaps settle is the wrong word - he is more than content just kneeling by your side. To talk to you, to touch you gently, is more than he should be allowed to ask for, and he is grateful he can do either of these things at all. Your skin is warm underneath his fingertips as his hands, his marred, dirty hands, trace your features. His thumb rubs over your cheekbone as he cups your face. You are a force of nature, and most find it easy to forget that you too are tragically, irrevocably human - but Levi has never forgotten. His inhuman strength refuses to let him forget."

(An alternate happy ending to an older one-shot of mine, All Too Familiar. (It is possible to read this without having read ATF, but I do recommend reading it first for context.) This can also be found on AO3 here.)

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader

Genre and warnings: SFW, angst and sadness (so much sadness) with a happy ending, manga (and now s4 part 3) spoilers at the end, some fluffiness towards the end too.

Word count: 6.4k words

A/N: Thank you for the request anon! This was fun to write (but awful to proofread for some reason). I didn't rewrite the beginning because that stays largely the same. It picks up shortly after Hange was made available to attend to the matter. I don't think I specified in the original, but they were unable to get on the scene when Reader was shot because they had to oversee other things. In this version, the medics kept Reader alive long enough to get Reader on a stretcher and for Hange to be able to join the medics... and that's all the context you'll need! I kind of hate it now that I've reread it so many times for proofreading (though knowing me I've definitely missed a ton of errors) but anyway! hope you enjoy.

He clenches his fists in a futile attempt to stop them from trembling, and hides his hands in the swaths of his forest green cloak. He trails closely behind the medics like a ghost. In a twisted way, he feels like one; present, but not fully all there. His ears ring, the shrill noise echoing inside his skull and seeping into every crevice of his being. His mind is simultaneously detached and numb, shutting down when there is no other option, and full of noise and clamour and raw emotion that he cannot even begin to compartmentalise. Levi’s chest feels uncomfortably tight all of a sudden, the air in his lungs too thick with tension and too thin as if there is no oxygen all at the same time. His bitter tears do nothing to wash away the blood on his cheeks.

He’s not sure nothing ever will wash away the memory of your bloodied hand cupping his cheek with all the care in the world.

What he is sure of is that nothing will ever truly wash away the blood staining his hands.

The medical team—now joined by Hange, dusting off their medical training from an age ago—carry you on a stretcher into a smaller chamber that acts as an emergency med-bay. He almost snarls when one of the medics turns around and says, “I’m sorry Captain, but you can’t come in. We are about to commence surgery on her, so only medical personnel and Commander Zoë may enter.”

The words are right on the tip of his tongue. She is my wife, he wants to shout though his tongue is leaden, I need to be by her side. Over the medic’s shoulder, he catches a glimpse of you. Your eyes are fluttering weakly as the morphine is beginning to take hold, and you look frail, so, so frail.

He wants to scream.

Hange looks over their shoulder, face taut with stress. “Levi,” they say, “I promise you we’re going to save her, and you can hold me to that. But you can’t come any further than here. I-I’m sorry.”

Fuck. He knows he’ll be nothing more than a hindrance to the medical team once you enter surgery. He knows, and he knows that you’re in good hands, but he isn’t sure his ribcage is strong enough to withstand the force at which his heart beats with pure and utter fear.

Sighing, Levi does not make a move to follow them into the medical chamber. The wooden door swings shut in his face with a startling finality, and he can’t help but equate it to the sound of a coffin door closing for the last time. There is a bitter taste on his tongue.

He’s not religious. Far from it, actually. But in that moment, Levi finds himself praying that maybe you’ll hang on.

Maybe you’ll stay.

Maybe.

———

When Levi returns to the main chamber of the airship, he is greeted with a sea of pale, solemn faces. Well, a sea that seems hesitant to spill onto a particular stretch of shore, and Levi knows why before he sees it.

A perfect circle has formed around where you had lain. The floorboards are stained dark, and in some places, blood glints under the light, the blood spilled still all too fresh.

Your blood.

Crimson spills past the gaping hole in your chest, spills past your chapped, parted lips—lips Levi’s own is all too familiar with.

He’s not sure how he made it from the door to your side, but the wooden floor is hard against his knees, your warm blood seeping through his uniform.

Your name leaves his lips in a shaky whisper so quiet none could hear—other than you.

Your eyelids flutter. “Hey.” You rasp, blood dribbling down your chin at the motion. Your body jerks limply, and a fountain of ruby red splashes onto Levi’s lap. He takes your hand, squeezes it tightly. You squeeze back with only a fraction of the force he knows you’re capable of.

Levi’s stomach churns violently at the sight. The sight of blood has been a staple to his life ever since Kenny had taken him in, but your blood? He can hardly stand the sight of it, he realises bitterly. He turns away and blinks furiously to banish the memory out of his vision.

He breaks the silence. “Are there any cleaning supplies on board?”

“Yes, sir,” Sasha supplies meekly when no one else steps up to reply. She wipes away her lingering tears with her hands. Her fingers are still stained with your blood when she’d stepped in to help the medics look after you until the stretcher was fetched. The blood streaks across her face eerily. A twisted thought enters Levi’s mind; it looks like the girl has donned warpaint. “There’s some in the third cupboard to the left down the first corridor, I think.”

Levi nods. “When I come back into this chamber,” he says quietly, “I want everybody to have relocated elsewhere within the ship.”

He’s met with frantic nods.

As he reaches the cupboard, he notes that he is almost breathless. The ringing in his ears grows deafeningly loud, and the weight of his emotions force Levi to his knees right outside the door.

I need to see her.

I need to see if she’s alright.

Clamping down on his traitorous thoughts (she has to be alright, she has to be, let Hange and the medics succeed, please, please—), he scrambles to his feet. Only to fail, as his feet immediately give out from under him - or the ship’s floor lurches from turbulence all of a sudden, he can’t tell. (He can.)

Levi closes his eyes. Perhaps if he tries hard enough, he can convince himself it is the latter, instead of his own weak mind, instead of his own folly.

For it is his folly that has landed you in this position, isn’t it? Eren grew out of control and ran away to ally with his mangy animal of an older brother, forcing the Scout’s hand. Eren knew Paradis couldn’t afford losing him to Marley, knew that the Survey Corps would be sent out in accordance to his plan. Knew that Marley would retaliate in the cruellest ways possible. Levi should’ve seen this coming, should’ve kept the young boy in check like he was ordered to, like he swore to the Martial Court.

Taking in a few deep breaths that sound as forced as they feel, he throws open the cupboard door and fetches his supplies quickly as if nothing had happened at all.

When Levi returns, he finds that Sasha (who has yet to clean the blood off her face and hands) and Connie are the only ones that have not listened to his order. He knows where the rest of his squad is, or at least should be: Armin and Mikasa are watching over Eren and Zeke, and Jean is watching over the two young stowaways. The normally energetic duo are eerily quiet, even as Sasha timidly approaches with the small bin in her hands. It feels wrong, but he supposes if they’d been unaffected by it all he’d be angered beyond a doubt. At least most of his kids (since when they had gone from ‘the brats’ to ‘his kids’, he’s not sure) are still on the right track, instead of falling into the same trap that Eren, the rat-haired redhead and his posse have hurtled headfirst into.

“I told everyone to leave,” he grumbles at them without any bite as he blots away the blood that has not yet seeped into the floorboards. Such procedures used to be daily routine for him, back in the Underground. He’s wiped up bloodstains from rotting floorboards more times than he can count. Sometimes, it was his own. Other times, the blood had belonged to Isabel or Furlan. That rotting dump of a city he’d once called home bred violence like rabbits. Now, one could ask him how to do it, and the response would be so practiced it is as if he could recite the steps from beyond the grave.

Sasha sets down the bin next to him. He disposes of the first rag, the white stained crimson. The girl shifts on her feet, her breathing picking up.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” she blurts out, voice wavering. “I heard them. I knew something was wrong.”

Levi picks up the bottle of peroxide and reaches for a fresh new rag. “Don’t you dare apologise.”

“Sir—”

“No.” It comes out all ugly and twisted and warbling. He hates how fucking pathetic he sounds, hates the way Sasha seems to recoil. He’s not mad at her, how could he be? She had nothing to do with it - the damn girl even helped the medics stem the bleeding and load you onto the stretcher.

He swallows, his throat feels far too dry. “Go clean up, Braus. You have blood on your face. Get some rest before we land,” he says defeatedly. Fuck. You’re not dead yet, he shouldn’t—there shouldn’t be a reason to panic. Right? He strains his ears, and hears nothing but faint murmurs from behind the door to the emergency medical chamber. But your life still hangs in the balance and there is nothing he can do about it.

She’s in safe hands with Hange, he thinks to himself, but it doesn’t stem the constant churning, roiling feeling of anxiety and guilt that simmers just underneath his skin.

In the periphery of his vision, he sees Connie whisper something in Sasha’s ear. He catches a few fragments of it: ‘c’mon, Sasha, it’s okay. It’ll be okay,’ and ‘let’s just give him a moment to himself, yeah?’, before the duo close the door behind themselves.

And so Levi does the only thing he can do right now whilst you and the medical team fight for your life on the other side of the wall.

He cleans.

There’s a simplistic methodical beauty to it. He falls into a familiar rhythm of applying peroxide and rubbing at the stain with the rag. His hands itch from the peroxide, but he can hardly feel it, refuses to feel it until your blood is completely gone.

Like you were never shot.

Perhaps the wood will be as good as new by the time he is finished with it, but it will forever be tainted with the memory.

Every time he blinks, he sees the fresh bloodstain behind closed eyelids. Every time he looks up from his work, he swears he sees a droplet of blood spattered on the wall.

He scrubs harder, even when there is nothing left to scrub. His eyelids twitch. His trigger fingers, shoulders and back ache, and by now his head is pounding, and everything just feels so goddamn heavy, but his fucked-up mind refuses to switch off, buzzing with nerves.

He can’t rest, he needs to stay awake, alert, on guard.

He can’t rest. He can’t.

———

Long after he’s cleaned the chamber top to bottom, Levi paces up and down the room, and he wonders what will come first: the end of the surgery, or the collapse of the floorboards from his pacing. It’s been… what, how long, ten minutes? Twelve hours? Two-thousand years since you disappeared behind those doors?

He’s going to fucking lose it.

Some calm and collected commanding officer he is.

Just as Levi’s resolve fractures, like a rubber band stretched to thin it finally snaps, Hange pulls open the door before he can raise his hand to hammer on the wood. Hange’s face is pale with exhaustion, but they smile at him faintly.

Levi’s eyes burn.

“She’s stable.” Their voice wobbles. Hange, still wearing surgical gloves, wipes their tears of relief away with their forearm awkwardly. “She’s going to be okay. She’s going to live, Levi.”

It is all he needs to hear.

He doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever thanked Hange out loud, or if he’s ever done so, but he has no reservations in quickly squeezing their shoulder in gratitude as he moves past them and the other medics into the room; he’s not entirely sure he can even speak right now.

He sits in the chair next to the bed and takes your limp hand into his. The number of bandages and tubes and annoying blinking machines makes him queasy and irritable all at once. Undeservedly so, because they are the only thing that drowns out the insurmountable pain such injuries would be making you feel.

Behind the closed doors to the medical chamber, finally away from the prying eyes of the other soldiers, a small sob escapes him. Carefully, as not to jostle you too much, Levi lifts your hand—still covered in your blood—to his quivering lips, and presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles. A small, fleeting action familiar to you both.

He waits.

Time passes, he’s not sure how long before your eyes open. This entire time, he’s kept your wrist under his thumb; your pulse is strong and steady. You smile up at him faintly. Though the medics have tried their best to wipe you clean, your face is still slightly smeared with blood and sweat.

“Levi?” You murmur, your thumb gently rubbing the back of his hand. Your eyes are glazed over - not because you are on the precipice any longer, but because of the morphine pumping through your veins. “Levi, sweetheart, you’re crying.”

Levi raises his hand numbly, and wipes at his cheek. His fingertips are damp when he looks at his hand. “Oh.”

You shift, wincing a little. Panic flares in his chest, which you instantly clock onto. You squeeze his hand - it is still far too weak for a soldier of your prowess, but your hold has much more strength than it did when blood was spilling from your mouth and gut.

“You scared me. D-don’t do that.” The teary confession weighs heavy on his heart. He gently puts your hand back down by your side. “You have to stay.”

You shake your head sleepily. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Cold seeps in. “That’s not what you said twenty minutes ago.”

“We’re… we were going to make it. We were going to fucking grow old together, I… you’re not giving up right now, you can’t.”

A bloodied hand settles upon his cheek for a moment, streaking his skin with ruby red. “I wish I could’ve had it all with you, too.”

Though you’re stable, your face still looks gaunt and ashen, the skin under your eyes dark. The sight of you, his wife, in such a state… he’s still on the verge of spiralling. Shit. “I thought there was no going back,” you confess. “I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

Levi shakes his head. He can still hardly speak. Hands trembling at his sides, Levi wonders. Fragile is not a word he would describe you with, but in this very moment, nothing seems more fitting. He desperately wants to reach out, cradle you against him, feel your chest rise and fall against his. But in this state, you could crumple faster than a sheet of damp paper.

Levi settles on gingerly reaching for you instead, his fingers brushing sweat-slicked strands of hair out of your face. Perhaps settle is the wrong word - he is more than content just kneeling by your side. To talk to you, to touch you gently, is more than he should be allowed to ask for, and he is grateful he can do either of these things at all. Your skin is warm underneath his fingertips as his hands, his marred, dirty hands, trace your features. His thumb rubs over your cheekbone as he cups your face. You are a force of nature, and most find it easy to forget that you too are tragically, irrevocably human - but Levi has never forgotten. His inhuman strength refuses to let him forget.

Sighing softly, your brow furrows. You turn your head, leaning into his gentle touch. Many times have you told him in the middle of the night just how comforting it feels to be held by him.

“Stay here,” you mumble, eyes fluttering shut. “Don’t wanna sleep alone.”

He does without hesitation, silently praying you’ll do the same, that you’ll still have a pulse when the airship lands on Paradis. As you slip back into a deep sleep, Levi stays curled up on the chair, unable to keep his eyes off you. At some point, he kicks off his boots and draws his knees to his chest; the position he adopts when he feels he is drowning. It’s humiliating, it’s childish, but he can’t bring himself to care about that. There’s no-one around to see the type of sorry, overwhelmed state he is in, after all.

The sound of a knock and the door opening pulls him out of his haze shortly afterwards. He uncurls himself and straightens up in chair, his back screaming in protest, but schools his features into neutrality, betraying no pain. No physical pain, at least.

“Hey. We’re landing soon. Descent begins in seven minutes.” Hange says as they enter the room and close the door behind them. Their one visible eye is bloodshot and heavily shadowed, their shoulders slumped with the weight of their responsibilities.

For a moment, Hange glances at you, sleeping deeply, before reaching forward and sympathetically squeezing his shoulder. He doesn’t have the heart to shrug it off like he usually does.

“I’m going to send the other medics in here to do one last check-up, since I’m needed in the cockpit to help Onya with the landing.” Hange murmurs. “A carriage should be waiting for any injured personnel, so she’ll go straight to a proper hospital and get treated. She won’t be discharged for a while.”

Levi exhales shakily. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

Steeling himself, he gets to his feet, and straightens his uniform and cape out. He knows he must look a sight - red eyes, damp cheeks, blood staining his clothes and his face from when you’d caressed his cheek earlier; he’d told Sasha to clean up, but he’d been too consumed with worry to remember to clean himself. His skin crawls, and his stomach once again churns with revulsion and panic.

The ship will be landing soon, he tries to assure himself. He can scrub himself raw later. He can completely unravel later. Right now, though, he has one very simple task to do, and that is to march the eldest Jaeger brother out of the airship into the carriage. Surely, just surely, this is the one thing that he won’t completely and utterly fuck up.

Hange takes a step back as the medics enter the room with their stretcher, and proceed to shift you onto it. Levi’s jaw clenches as he watches. Like him, Hange pulls themself together quickly, wiping their eye, drawing their shoulders back. “To your stations, everybody,” they order.

“Affirmative, Commander.”

———

My dearest Levi,

Today marks exactly a month since I’ve been shot. A month since you’ve left to watch over Zeke in the Forest of Giant Trees.

What a long, boring month it has been.

The days crawl by without you; this hospital room is awfully dull. It feels too sterile, with all its white walls and a tiny little window. I feel restless. I hate to say that my recovery is slow. Well, nobody was expecting me to be right as rain two days after getting shot in the chest, but the doctors reckon I’ll be able to return to active duty in no less than 3 months, and that’s being optimistic. What a bummer.

Don’t worry about me, though. My squad, your squad and Hange have all come around to visit me every once in a while, so it’s not all bad. Hange even bought me some new books to read, bless their heart. The one I am reading right now is consuming my mind, I swear! It depicts a civil war, and is filled with all sorts of plot twists. The political intrigue is very gripping; you don’t know which character to trust. It sounds like something Erwin would’ve liked, actually - but I won’t bore you with the details.

I do hope that watching over the Beast Titan around the clock isn’t driving you completely insane. Please, remember to get some sleep. And to eat, for Wall’s sake. Zeke isn’t going anywhere with thirty other soldiers watching over him when you’re not able to. I know I must sound like an old nag - but being cooped up and on bedrest, unable to talk to you, just makes me all the more worried for your wellbeing. Get out of your head for a bit and take care of yourself, okay? I hope you’ll be able to come home soon.

Missing you dearly,

Your beloved.

———

My love,

You are right in thinking that having to watch over that fucking monkey is its own special brand of torture. He’s fucking infuriating to talk to, which is especially bad when he claims there is nothing to do but talk. I’m getting headaches just thinking about it. But other than that, he’s been compliant so far. Everything is too quiet, too isolated from what’s going on back in the Capital. I think that’s been wearing away at me; the squadron convinced me to let them drink the expensive Marleyan wine last night, and I suppose it is because this entire situation is fraying my nerves that I allowed it. A moment of weakness.

I am glad the books Four-Eyes gifted you with are both entertaining and informative. You and Hange always did have the same taste in fiction. You better be listening to your doctor, too. If they say three months minimum, then it’s three months minimum. No playing around. And quit worrying about me. To put it in your words, I must sound like an ‘old nag’, but fucking hell, they have medical degrees. Listen to them and just focus on recovering.

I’m doing fine. Granted, I could be sleeping more, but there’s never really been much of a solution to that other than having you lying next to me. But I’m fine. And I will come home to you. I’ll make it a promise, and you can hold me to it until this is all over. I don’t know how much of that night on the airship you remember. But I said that we were going to grow old together. You have no idea how much I want that as a reality. Okay? Until then, just… get well soon. Please.

Yours,

Levi

———

He’s fast asleep, turned on his side, facing you. The sight of him deeply in slumber is rare, and the chances of him sleeping without graphic nightmares is even more so. Levi is not the type to scream and thrash, but he does have a tendency to mumble in his sleep, and by now, you are intimately familiar with who it is he dreams of, who he sees dying.

Right now, though, he is silent save for his soft snores. Sunlight trickles in through the small gap in the curtains, illuminating this surreal, serene scene. Your fingers hover over his right eyelid, which is split in half by a jagged scar that runs down the length of his handsome face. You want to brush the stray strand of hair out of his face, but your traitorous brain insists that this is nothing but a mirage, a dream that you’ll be ripped away from when you wake up. So, your hand falls limply back to your side, too scared to disrupt the illusion.

Not an illusion, you remind yourself. This is real. You aren’t bleeding out on the cold, hard floor or the airship. Levi isn’t feverish and fighting for his life in a shitty hospital bed in the Rumbling’s direct aftermath, after days spent without proper rest or medical care. No. The two of you are fine. Just fine.

“We’re okay,” you whisper out loud to yourself, forcing yourself to take in a deeper breath. Air rushes in. Your lungs are intact, not pooling with blood. You can breathe, you are breathing, and so is he; that is all that matters.

In his sleep, Levi mumbles your name quietly and snuggles closer, a sight that makes you grin. He sounds so peaceful, so content; a stark contrast to what you often wake up to every night when the sun has yet to rear its weary head.

A quiet murmur of your name next to you pulls you out of sleep. You yawn, half awake, and reach for Levi. Sometimes, he accidentally rolls out of your arms in the middle of the night, like now. He’s on his side, facing away from you, curled in on himself. It is only after you sleepily sling your arm around his waist that you realise he is trembling, skin clammy to the touch. The realisation banishes all remnants of sleepiness as you prop yourself up on your elbow and lean over him.

“Hey,” you whisper, but receive a choked noise in response. “Honey, I’m okay, wake up.”

Levi’s breath hitches, and his hands fist the sheets. A light sheen of sweat coats his pale skin. Most of what he’s mumbling is unintelligible, but you catch a distinct ‘keep your eyes open’. Your blood chills.

You shake his shoulder. “Wake up, love, please. It… it’s just a dream. I’m alright. Levi, please.” But it isn’t just a dream, though, is it? Your mind supplies. It’s what did happen, what could have happened. You feel your throat close, your husband’s distress inciting your own, and you are reminded of the sensation of a sharp pain in your chest, the sensation of choking on your own blood, unable to speak or even breathe without the invasive taste of copper. Unwillingly, your chest tightens and your stomach churns at the memory. Truthfully, you remember very little after the moment Gabi shot you, but the sensations your body had been forced to feel as you dangled in the maws of Death itself would never leave your memory.

Levi finally jerks awake after a few more torturous moments; moments that feel like they span years. You barely have time to ask him what he needs when he swiftly rolls over to face you, pressing a hand to your chest. Underneath his trembling fingertips, your heart beats with defiance. Defiance of your fate, defiance of the odds.

“You’re alive.” He whispers. It’s not so much a statement as it is a reassurance to himself.

“Yeah.” You nod, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Yeah, I’m alive. I’m okay.”

Levi’s eyes are wild, still frantically searching your face for a sign that this is real, that he won’t wake up in a cold bed the moment he looks away from you. It is a feeling all too familiar to you; that all-consuming panic when you’re caught in limbo between nightmare and reality. Even enveloped in your arms, he still trembles. Levi takes in a shuddering breath.

“You’re alive,” he repeats to himself. His hands move from your heart to the scar, and the mist in his one good eye condenses and spills onto his cheek in the form of a lone tear.

The sight gives way to a dull ache in your chest. Reaching up, you wipe away the tear gently with the pad of your thumb. “I’m not going anywhere,” you echo yourself from that very same night.

“You almost did.” Levi shakes his head. “I saw…”

Prompting him with silence, you stroke his hair with one hand, twirling the silky soft strands between your fingers.

“I saw the version of that night where you don’t make it.”

Your other hand moves to interlock your fingers with his, joining your hands right over the scar, the brand of survival, on your chest.

“But I did make it,” you breathe.

Levi shakes his head, trapped in the prison that is his own thoughts. He’s not usually so verbal, but every single regret and ugly thought he’s ever had cannot be held back forever. It seems as though this one nightmare was the one fateful drop of water that finally caused the dam to break. “I should’ve at least checked in with you; that monkey bastard was already secure… I could’ve safely disarmed her before she shot, or at least gotten you out of the way, maybe if I’d kept a closer eye on Eren like I swore I would back in 850, the raid would have never have happened at all, none of what followed would’ve—”

“Levi, listen to me. I and the other soldiers in the airship brought this upon ourselves the moment we started talking in favour of focusing and actually closing the door,” you rebut, holding him close. “You had a job to do, of course you weren’t present… you’ve always told me that I shouldn’t have to carry the blame for every life I’ve failed to save. And in my case, my life was saved - so there is nothing you did that is at fault.”

You squeeze his hand comfortingly, and he, clutching onto your hand like a lifeline, squeezes back.

“And as for Eren… not even his friends could’ve seen this coming. Everyone trusted him. He was shaping up to be Humanity’s Hope, the key to everything. Genocide was the last thing we thought he’d turn to.”

“What was all my strength for if I couldn’t…”

“Don’t go down that path. You’re more than Paradis’ weapon.” More than just Humanity’s Strongest. He’s only seen himself as a tool to be wielded by the people for so long, and it breaks your heart every time Levi talks of himself like this. “Look. It’ll take time, I know… but I hope one day you will see why I would never, ever hold this against you.”

Levi still looks doubtful, but after a pause, he nods. It’s a small movement, barely perceptible, but it is there.

And right now, that is enough.

Like that night, and so many others that came before and after it, Levi’s right hand currently rests in yours. You’d fallen asleep on your side facing him, clutching your joined hands to your chest, right over the scar from Gabi’s bullet. How odd, that the girl that had almost killed you would work alongside your husband to end the Rumbling and become dear to him in the way only a daughter could. Well, you suppose you shouldn’t be surprised at that. Levi had understood Gabi’s situation immediately, and knew her apology to the both of you was sincere as sincere could be.

Your thumb absentmindedly rubs over the two stumps on his hand. I hope one day you will see why I would never, ever hold this against you. That one particular night where you had reassured Levi that he was not to blame for your injury stands out to you. You’re not exactly the epitome of practising what you preach, though. Needing to recover and therefore being sidelined for the entirety of the post-Liberio fallout did nothing but riddle you with guilt and worry. The most you could do for the entirety of the civil war was to send letters with poorly coded messages updating Levi on the limited information on the Jaegerists you had. In the end, you were still not in full shape to fight by the time the Jaegerists rose to full power and the Jaegers started the Rumbling. You’d had been forced to sit, wait and worry in a dingy little cell until the entire thing blew over, knowing that one wrong move could lead to being pumped full with lead.

A living nightmare, that was what it was.

After you’d been officially signed off by the doctor as fully recovered, and after you had persuaded the one MP you could somewhat trust, Hitch Dreyse, to sneak you off the island, you’d identified Levi’s whereabouts rather quickly. It was hard not to find him, when the ‘Alliance’ was in the harsh spotlight in the immediate aftermath of the Rumbling. A shudder runs through you upon remembering how small and frail he had looked in that make-shift hospital camp, remembering the one thought that drowned out all others: ‘if I’d been there, I could’ve at least taken the brunt of the hits.’

Your brain has always been rather imaginative. It hardly came as a shock that amongst your nightmares of choking on your own blood…

“I–” you wheeze, frantically scrabbling for purchase, fingers twisting the fabric of his sleep shirt, “Levi, I can’t breathe, I’m…”

“You’re okay. You’re not shot, your lungs are working fine, alright? There’s no blood, only air. Breathe with me, alright? Put your hand on my chest, breathe with me… that’s it…”

…images of Levi lying bloodied and torn apart by shrapnel, or the visions of his leg being feverishly gnawed upon by a titan, are conjured up in disturbingly vivid detail.

Your tears blur your sight, so you have to rely on touch. Consumed by panic, your hands quickly pat down his face, checking for shards of shrapnel still stuck in his skin, before moving quickly down to his leg. It isn’t until the tenth examination that Levi’s hoarse voice finally cuts through your fog of despair, his arms holding you tightly against him as he strokes your hair and whispers, “I’m okay, I’m okay. And so are you.”

You aren’t sure if either of you are ever going to be ‘fully healed’, not after being wounded both physically and metaphorically over and over and over until the two of you, bloodied and beaten, are no longer able to get back up again. It feels dirty, almost, to live the life that your comrades should have been able to live. Gunther, Eld, Petra, Oluo, Nanaba, Miche, Moblit, Erwin, Hange. Your heart aches especially thinking about the 14th Commander. They’d saved both your life and Levi’s, brought the two of you back from the very blink and worked tirelessly to pave the way for a peaceful future, only for their own life to be torn away from them as as the finish line was in sight.

You both owe it to them.

Levi deserved to survive to the very end, and back in the day, there was never any doubts he was going to. Everybody else that wasn’t blessed with inhuman strength like his was fair game - and you’d made peace with the fact that for all your own achievements, you could very well be one of thousands to die on the battlefield. And yet; here you are, alive and beating, whilst Hange’s burnt remains lie on foreign soil.

There are days, so many days where you feel as though the universe has made a mistake. Many days that you wish you could trade your life in for Hange’s, or for anybody else more deserving than you. Many days where you remember what it is like to drown slowly and helplessly in your own bodily fluids, many days where either you or Levi get lost in your minds, haunted by your ghosts.

But, there are some good days, serene moments just like this that make you think that maybe, just maybe, you can have the peaceful life you’ve always dreamed of. Moments that make you realise just how fucking lucky you are that you get to live in an era of no titans, no war, that you get to live out the rest of your days with the love of your life at your side. There are moments like these that make you not just want to live for those that couldn’t, but for you.

Moments like these that make you think that maybe, just maybe, all of it was worth it.

Content to stay in bed and let Levi get the rest he deserves and so rarely gets, you remain still and close your eyes.

The sheets rustle beside you almost an hour later, gently pulling you out of the gentle doze you’d fallen into. You faintly register Levi’s arms wrapped around you, and his fingers innocently tracing patterns into the small of your back, pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head. Warmth washes over you, and you just can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the small things. The world could crash down on you today, and you would be content with what you have; just waking up to Levi’s gentle yet affectionate touches is more than enough.

Burying your face out of sight, you whisper, “good morning.”

“Morning,” he mumbles sleepily into your hair; he’s just waking up. You could swear he’s smiling ever so slightly; you can feel it. Levi’s fingers continue to wander innocently around your smaller back, and the pattern, seemingly repeating, begins to feel familiar.

I love you.

You smile. You’ve never doubted it for a goddamned second.

Shuffling upwards so that your face is no longer buried in his chest, you reach up and brush his hair out of his face so that his eyes are unobscured.

You press a kiss to your husband’s forehead where the largest of his scars begins, and gently lay down a line of kisses, following the scar down his face, until you settle upon his lips. He deepens the kiss, one hand flat against your chest, over the scar, the other slipping around your middle. It’s a little messy, raw with pure emotion; relief that both of your hearts are still beating, grief for what a lifetime of war has taken from you, and love, the love for him that can barely be held by just one heart in your chest, the love for you that he works tirelessly to show you every single day.

As you come up for air, you utter the final line of your wedding vows, the words you thought would’ve been your last that day on the airship.

“I love you, Levi. In this life, and the next, until I find you and onwards past to eternity.”

Masterlist

#levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #levi x oc #levi ackerman x oc #levi fanfiction #levi fanfic

405 notes · View notes