#My heart hurts though

[smugraccoon137]

Normally my pup will take a treat into her kennel cus it's more private. But today she chose me twice! One she brought her cookie into my office to chomp on. And now she jumped into my lap to crunch her pig ear all over me. It's disgusting but I feel loved

Horrible pic cus she is really going at it and won't stop moving

#It's nice #Since today I'm feeling very empty and on guard #Rainey day #Can't stop thinking about the shooting #And wanting to visit home #But thinking about home on the holidays and every other day #And how those things relate to each other #I don't belong there and maybe that's okay #But you can only run so far #Before the hate starts chasing you #I just wish i was braver #My heart hurts though #I dunno #Just wish things were different #In the meantime though my dog chose me #And I'm receiving a little love and trying to ignore the bad thoughts #The prevalent feeling that things are getting worse and won't stop #Something wicked this way comes and I'm not sure if I'm ready #diary #text #textpost #puppy #my doggo #dog

[ladykeyleth]

#criticalroleedit #critteredit #critical role #imodna #laudna #imogen temult #marisha ray #laura bailey #c3e74 47m30s #c3e84 2h44m30s on twitch #mgifs #marisha giggling in the second one when she hears laura #be still my hEART #anyway I love them so much it hurts #cr spoilers #though not really but just in case

[lotus-pear]

regret

#literally excuse the shitty anatomy and cell shading i was thinking abt chuuyas reaction to what he'd done and i decided to make it skk #bc skk copium :') #the way i've hated dazai so fucking much but i still cried like a bitch when he died #he's not dead the bsd fandom has this phase like the elevator chapter where we're like ''dazai's not gonna make it he's done for!!'' #and then he comes back next chapter like surprise bitches yall thought i was dead lmao #this chapter fucking HURT for skk shippers tho like we rly lost this time around huh #deluding myself into thinking that chuuya used gravity manipulation to slow the bullet #bc we didn't see a bullet hole behind dazais head like when chuuya shot his shoulder even though the bullet to his skull was fired at close #the reason theres a wound is bc the compressed air that was still fired was enough to wound him #and the shock wave that followed caused him to pass out bc of the sudden tension to his head intermingled with the blood loss and poison #we also know dazai can control his heart rate at will so maybe he can drop his pulse to zero for like thirty secs #enough to make fyodor believe he's dead #in the event that all of this is untrue and dazai rly does die the way my entire being will go numb and cold and dead #knowing that fyodor will most likely use dazai's death as a weapon against chuuya effectively chaining him to his side #like bffr chuuya may dislike dazai but that's his partner his reflection the boy that makes him desperately want to be human #dazai is the embodiment of chuuyas humanity and once chuuya loses that tether to his human side he will snap and the facade will shatter #and we will truly see chuuya unhinged with nothing more keeping him bound to his mortal shell #this wasn't the skk reunion we wanted asigiri what the fuck :( #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #lotus draws

[jeeaark]

I just discovered Greygold and binged all of their adventures and I gotta know: how did the fight with Cazador go?

Laughably quick! Lae'zel is terrifying.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #astarion #lae'zel #cazador #greygold #bg3 fanart #bg3 comic #The centrifugal force of the sun y'all #Patch 0 cazador was uh surprisingly underwhelming! I'm sure he's more difficult now though haaaaaaa #Spent most of the time cleaning up his goons #and that's all the sillies I have about cazador #the rest of it hurts my heart

[arthursfuckinghat]

"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."

"It ain't that complicated!"

How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.

#he makes me feel so emo #this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced #the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me #like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago #not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it #the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts #it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval #hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly #arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart #the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it #his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind #and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived #and hosea notices he knows this #but they still jab at arthur #oh it hurts #is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse? #playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #mick rants #mick gifs #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #liveblogging #you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty #and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort #he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole #he doesn't want that touch he craves #it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :> #but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :] #but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—> #ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

[c-t-r-l14]

This Audio Is SICKENING.

Ya’ll—I don’t even know where to begin.

When I tell you that I physically FLINCHED upon seeing Alex’s face in the thumbnail, the way my heart started beating, the way I started SHAKING while putting my AirPods in—you guys would’ve thought that I’ve gotten some terrible news or something. And—I don’t even know what’s CRUELER—the fact that Saku posted this audio on April Fools day, making us go back and forth between “is this cannon?” or “nah, this is definitely a joke!” Or him making it all lovey dovey at first, giving us a false sense of security—waiting for us to finally let our guard down so he could get ready to strike. But I do know that it broke me, and made me feel for listener even more.

I think one of the biggest reasons why it broke me so much was because we can see how much listener blames themselves. How much they think the breakup is all their fault.

And you can see how much its impacted them.

You see the thing with Alex is that he is really, really bad with communication. He’s rather quiet about how he feels, and doesn’t voice it out loud. A person like this—who doesn’t talk about their own feelings, who’d rather stay silent—usually are alone with their own thoughts. And that’s when things get rocky, especially in a relationship. One of the things that I noted in the break up audio (besides all the gaslighting, manipulation, and reality distortion), was the fact that Alex has had that argument on his mind ever since it happened, and not ONCE has he said something about it until the day they broke up. He was alone with his thoughts the entire time up to that point—mulling over the argument, his feelings, his future—and I feel like him doing this, instead of actually talking to listener to see how things can work out deadass lead him to believing that they couldn’t be together, which lead him to not tell them about the job offer until the very last minute. I wholeheartedly believe that if he sat down with them, and told them—“hey, I know you said sorry, but I still feel like shit because you made me feel this way,” if the thoughts got to be too much, then maybe things would’ve been better. But he didn’t—and just like listener, he assumed the worst, and on top of that— gave up without even trying to fight for the person he claimed to love so much. Instead, all he did was make excuses, act hypocritically, gaslight them, and blame them for everything—all the while not realizing that there was a whole bunch of things HE could’ve done better too.

And we can see how much it took a toll on listener—considering the fact that they were ridden with so much guilt that can’t even sleep well at night.

I can feel how much they hate themselves through Alex’s words as he tore into them, and this is honestly partly Alex’s fault, because he reduced them to a mistake they made. Dream Alex (who will now be referred to as DA from now on) was taunting listener—and throwing the words Alex said to them during the break up back to them. He kept on reminding them of their mistakes, and that THEY are the reason why he left. He kept on reminding them of the worst parts of themselves—and that’s high key what Alex did during the break up too. I feel like we all need to acknowledge that what DA said to listener in this audio is most definitely not a reflection of the way the real Alex would talk and act—simply because DA is a figment of listener’s imagination. And since listener is filled with so much hurt and heartbreak right now, of course their own guilt and self hatred is going to distort how things operate in their mind. So, let’s not take the things he has said at face value.

Listener has a lot to work on. Their trust issues left a wound that ran deeper than they initially thought. In a way, they are too much in their own head as well—and do end up going to the worst case scenario, and this behavior stems from the trauma they sustained from their former partner. This leads them to do irrational things, like invading Alex’s privacy and accusing him of stuff that only happened in their head.

Both of them have a lot of shit they need to work on. Alex needs to learn how to actually talk about how he feels, learn how to take accountability for the things he’s done wrong, and maybe grow a damn backbone, and listener needs to go get some damn therapy, get their trust issues sorted out, and learn all the facts before they come at people with any assumption they might have about them. I feel like this dream was kind of the point where listener realizes that they simply just can’t let their relationship end like this, because through this dream sequence, they realize that there was still a lot of stuff that was left unsaid, and are now seeking for some closure. I think now it’s the best time to go for it, considering that Alex apparently didn’t go to NYC and stayed in London instead (this is still very much unclear). And I am hoping and praying that his ass has the same nightmare listener had as well. Listener can’t be the only one who has a wake-up call (pun intended).

Their downfall was caused because these two idiots don’t know how to convey their emotions to each other properly. They could’ve had it all if one just actually opened their damn mouth to speak, and the other would just simply think before they open theirs.

This confrontation can go two ways: they cut each other loose and go about their own lives, or they find a way to make it work, (granted that they are BOTH willing to work on themselves).

Do I think their relationship is a lost cause? I don’t know. Something tells me that this probably isn’t the end, and a part of me (as much as I talk shit about how much I want listener to be an absolute bad bitch and leave him to drown in his regret), doesn’t want it to be the end.

With this being said, I still don’t like Alex. It’s gonna take much more than a damn walk down memory lane with a bizarre, brutal, dream version of him to get me to like him again.

Oh and by the way, Saku if you’re reading this—sleep with one eye open tonight.

Masterlist

#zsakuva alex #zsakuva #alex zsakuva #why did the beginning make me miss him a lil!?? #this audio was so damn sad bro #poor listener dude #I still don’t like Alex though #sakuverse #They are both hurting #as much shit as I talk tho #I want them to end up happy together #this shit actually broke my heart

[apristineblade]

adrienne rich // caitlin conlon // shastra deo // madds buckley // hozier // tory adkisson // ethel cain // yves olade // franz kafka // hannah copley // black tabby games

the razor and the empty cup.

#slay the princess #the razor #the empty cup #stp the princess #razor my darling first vessel <3 #i was wondering if i should lean more into the silly or the serious for this one #and i adore the silly of razor. she definitely isn’t going to stab you #but the love as violence has to go *somewhere* now and beast feels more love as consumption #so voila. i think i still put too much silly into it though #or maybe this was too broad? but you can’t separate razor from chapter 3 or 4 #and it needs to feel cohesive so… yeah idk #i was also debating if i should do mad instead of empty cup but her ‘no! i’m the one who hurts you!’ dialogue is very fun #and the heart at the end! i wanted the shifting mound hand grabbing it too but then you wouldn’t get the description #web weave

[dairsmuids]

this conversation physically PAINS me, especially when you think about one particular early journal entry written by hayth in forsaken: "the love i felt for father constantly threatened to engulf me with its sheer magnitude; i didn't just love him, i idolised him."

#haytham kenway #assassin's creed #'i wasn't aware my father had a sense of shame' #>:O #haytham edward kenway APOLOGY VIDEO WITH TEARS RN #seriously though it makes my heart hurt #baby hayth adored his dad to the moon #and then birch came along and ruined everything #seriously if reginald birch has no haters then i am dead

[rabbit-hearted-girl]

Tell me why my current hiper fixation is batfam fics where Tim feels like he doesn't belong. The angst, the hurt, the anguish of feeling like a stranger in the nest... Absolutely heartbreaking and my new favorite genre of fanfic

#Tim is going through the horrors #and i feel like my obsession with this trope might say something about myself #i also love peter Parker fics like this #its got be hurt/comfort though #my heart wouldn't survive otherwise #anyways ive read a lot of fics in the last two days #but if anyone has recs feel free to tell me #batfam #tim drake #red robin #batman #dc comics #bruce wayne

[ghostaholics]

no but ghost with a guardian angel who’s been protecting him all this time, and the only reason why he can see her now is because she lost her wings and was expelled from heaven for falling in love with him

it's the golden rule: don't harbor romantic feelings for your human charge

#°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° 𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 #ewb!simon has my heart but the angst ahh yes #screaming because he sees the mutilated flesh on her back where her wings got cut off #and he has to clean them with antiseptic because she can’t reach them herself #the tagline: did it hurt when you fell from heaven? yes immensely #she literally fell from heaven and the first thing she did was look for simon :( #how does she even explain herself to him?? idk IDK #still tries to watch over him even though she doesn’t have her powers #worries about him 24/7 #because he’s her purpose #as she adjusts to her new body and normal life

[lucaplushie]

any bitter choco decoration fans in chat

#fnaf #luca draws #william afton #henry emily #willry #helliam #ough..this one hurted. a little bit. #also sorry i never know what to caption these #i love you bitter choco decoration #i was listening to the mizuki alt cover while painting this. if you even care </3 #also for ONCE i didn't forget the springlock scars that is INTENTIONAL OKAY!!!! this is prespringlock incident #every time i draw them kissing or holding hands or sitting in each others laps just know im lying #theyre both insanely repressed..theyd never get together..... to me. #i like to play pretend though #smashing them together like barbies rn #im gonna post this at 10pm when no one will see it because i promised you all willry for Christmas and i refuse to break my promise #oh my god my hands hurt so fucking bad #thats what i get for speedrunning this i GUESS #once again ignore the lighting okay for me heart emoji #IM BAD AT TAKING PICTURES #WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY #THE FUCKING UHH THE SHITTY LITTLE CRAYON DRAWING WAS INSPIRED BY MY DEAR FRIEND #@TOXIFOXX. SMILES CUTELY.

[bumblingbabooshka]

My baby's just fine. She knows all of her rhymes. [Patreon | Ko-fi]

#bea art tag #comix #Tuvok #Asil #st voy #star trek voyager #star trek voy #st voyager #Asil not wanting to speak to her dad...too many emotions...what's the point? Why should I? #This is from the timeline in my head where she becomes a priest and undergoes the kolinahr because her anguish over losing her father #is too much #I typically have all his children being adults by the time Voyager returns with the youngest having been a teenager when he left #But AAA.....oh it DOES hurt the heart good to imagine that his youngest was only a child...comes back to nearly an adult. AGH. #And it'd probably hurt a lot...Tuvok obviously values teaching as a means to bond with children (see: Innocence) #<- And his relationship to Kes in some respects though she is NOT a child. I just know that teaching mental discipline would be high on a #Vulcan parent's priorities #The thought of Tuvok missing all that childhood development...he knows it'll go fine without him. He trusts his wife and his community but #it still must hurt...to see your child grow so much without you. Even more so because as a Vulcan their childhood is such a vanishingly #small part of their lifespan. They're a child for like 18 years out of their potential 200. #happy tuvok tuesday!!!

[jazzy-a]

#shadow and bone #Six of Crows #Yu-gi-oh #Stranger things #Avatar The Last Airbender #Demon Slayer #Death note #Red vs Blue #The sandman #Harry potter #Lord of the Rings #Game of Thrones #karneval incorrect quotes #Currently Kazper right now... #Fanfiction #Srsly though WHY does it always pop up in my search and BREAK my heart #I don't even READ the fics obviously but i'm hurt just seeing it #Inuyasha #Naruto #Pokemon #The hobbit #Interview with a vampire #Hazbin hotel #archive of our own

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Yall Danny pretends to be a dead mermaid just to fuck with people who don’t know anything about ghosts

People seeing his ghostly trail and calling it a tail. Maybe some dudebroblondechick asks “so do we all loose our legs when we die?” And hes just shocked for a moment before realising the gold he has struck. “I am a dead mermaid whos tail was stuck in trash floating the in ocean.” Maybe hes really acting it up “I couldnt escape and died” as he wipes a nonexistent tear.

Well enough people have asked about it that it’s a whole thing on the web. People claiming no hes not a mermaid look heres a photo with legs and then people saying that the leg photos are doctored by the government to hide the mermaids from the public. The mermaids we are clearly at war with because why else would our government keep letting us pollute like this. It’s clearly a war tactic to basically enlist people without having them know but having them consume so much plastics.

The attempt to remove plastic straws? Clearly a cry for help from the mermaids reaching out to humanity on California duh.

Sam loves it because now more people are becoming aware of their own part in polluting the world. But she also hates it because most of the crap going around is borderline flat earth esk theories. “Why did it take the illusion of having a big naturals mermaid bf to get people to start cleaning up the oceans”

Anyway long story short the most popular theory is that Phantom has both legs and a tail and is actually a catboy alien ghost cover up.

#danny phantom #uhhhhh how do I ship this #crack? #plastic bad #someone give me tags to use im confused and so very tired #I was readying blackbutler fics like two seconds go cause I have been playing phasmophobia and we keep getting demon #thats right baby I was halfway thru a fic and though holy shit danny is a mermaid before coming to tumblr and fighting a war #TUMBLR WILL NOT STOP ME #I WILL NOT BE CONTROLED BY THE MAN #my arms hurt so much from holding me phone for like three hours #still sad about the fnaf post #there I poured my heart out in the tags I think I got it #almost bed time three more hours

[scaryhaven]

throughout the whole chaos, Tom was keeping his composure, he was trying to calm everyone else down, he had the appearance of someone that wasnt very shaken at all, so no one even thought to ask if he was okay, but Greg knew to ask, he always does. Seeing Tom break down when Greg asked if he was okay... i feel ill.

#they all need kindness so badly #even the smallest shred of compassion and thought and he starts crying #my heart hurts i cant think about this episode much more #succession spoilers #s4e3 #can u imagine how traumatic it is to see someone u know and care about to at least some degree laying there dead and having cpr done #when hes way past dead?? and in the meantime ur trying to help family give their final goodbyes over the PHONE #and you have no real chance to say goodbye yourself #or fully grasp the situation like ur on auto pilot at that point #its horrific the whole thing was horrific though #tomgreg