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#Now I imagine that part of the story As always; i'm your shield; my Love & this music plays ;; v ;; ♥ ♥ ♥ ahhhh
edenesth · 9 days
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TWTHH Spinoff: Love to Hate You [2]
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Pairing: royal secretary!San x female scholar!reader
AU: historical au (Joseon era)
Word Count: 10.7k 🤡
Summary: San prided himself on his knack for building easy connections with women, viewing himself as a trusted ally for the opposite gender. Thanks to his deep bonds with his mother and sister, he possessed keen insights into the female mindset. Never did he imagine facing the ire of a woman, until he encountered a resolute female scholar with a strong dislike towards men.
A/N: I'd recommend listening to Laufey's Valentine while reading this, the song is quite perfect for this spinoff.
Part 1 | Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist
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"Now, tell me, why were you crying?" you inquired, halting at the doorway of your house, careful to shield your mother from the conversation. You understood that she would only blame herself if she knew he was upset, despite none of it being her fault. Deep down, you knew she carried the burden of not being able to protect her children, always feeling like an inadequate mother.
Siwoo shook his head, "It's nothing, noona. I just... I was just overwhelmed with all the schoolwork on my first day. But don't worry about me, I feel much better after letting it all out," he reassured, attempting to alleviate your concerns. Yet, you couldn't fully accept his explanation. While a part of you ached to think he might have been bullied by his classmates, as you had feared, another part of you swelled with pride at his resilience.
That's my boy.
"Is that so? Well, come on then, dinner might be ready," you responded, and he brightened at the mention of food. "Dinner sounds good, I'm starving! Mother, we're home!" he called out excitedly, darting into your modest abode almost immediately.
"How was school, Siwoo?" your mother asked, her fingers smoothing down his unruly hair as he dug into his meal with gusto. Siwoo grinned and nodded. "It was okay! Master Lee looked after me really well, just like noona said he would!" Your mother smiled warmly and wiped a stray bit of food from his cheek. "That's good to hear."
You couldn't help but smile at their exchange, though you sensed Siwoo's words were meant to reassure your mother more than convey his true feelings. While Master Lee might have looked after him in their presence, you knew all too well the dynamics of school life and the possibility of bullying when no adults were around. Unfortunately, he would have to learn to navigate those challenges, just as you had.
Finishing your meal, you tousled your brother's hair. "So, what did that man from earlier say to you?" Your mother raised a curious eyebrow. "Man? What man?" Siwoo perked up. "Oh, that kind hyung-nim! He was just making sure I was okay."
You scoffed. "Kind? You don't even know him. People can seem nice but have hidden motives. Don't trust too easily, or he might want something from you." Turning to your mother, you elaborated, "It's His Majesty's royal secretary. We had an unpleasant encounter at the palace. I had hoped never to see him again, but somehow he was at Siwoo's school when I went to pick him up. How many coincidences can there be? I'm certain he's up to something. So, you," you directed a stern look at your brother. "Don't entertain him if he shows up again, okay?"
Siwoo nodded reluctantly, his expression turning sullen. Your mother shook her head. "Or perhaps he's genuinely nice...? He's an important figure, after all. You shouldn't make an enemy out of him, dear. I worry for you." You offered her a reassuring smile. "I'll handle it, mother. Don't worry about me."
Later that night, as you lay in bed, the soft breathing of your brother beside you with a comforting rhythm, you couldn't help but feel a pang of bittersweet emotion. Siwoo, once the tiny bundle you cradled in your arms, had grown so quickly before your eyes. Memories of his infancy flooded your mind, the moments when you'd rocked him to sleep and comforted his tears.
Now, here he was, trying to shield his own emotions from you, not wanting to burden you with his struggles. Your heart swelled with both pride and a tinge of sadness as you gently stroked his head, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his forehead. How you wished he could remain your precious little brother forever, sheltered from life's harsh realities.
Yet, another part of you longed for him to mature, to become the pillar of strength this family needed. You yearned for the day when he would stand beside you as a protector, capable of shouldering the burdens that weighed heavily on your shoulders.
"Sweet dreams, little one," you whispered softly, your voice barely a whisper in the darkness. With a sigh, you closed your eyes, letting the tranquillity of the night envelop you as you drifted into slumber, your dreams filled with hopes for the future.
The next day unfolded much like the one before, with the familiar routine of dropping Siwoo off at school. Kneeling beside him, you tenderly adjusted his hanbok and smoothed down his hair, your actions a comforting ritual between siblings.
"Well, I have no new advice for you today, except to stay strong and not let the words of others affect you. Remember, they're just words, and you can choose not to let them bother you," you imparted, noticing the flicker of surprise in his eyes, as if he had been caught keeping secrets from you. With a warm smile, you gently pinched his cheeks to alleviate any worries he might have.
"Now, go on and get in there. And no causing trouble!" you teased, prompting a playful protest from Siwoo as he swatted your hands away and stuck out his tongue. "Bye, noona! See you later!" he called out cheerfully as he headed off to join his classmates.
As you watched him go, a soft smile lingered on your lips, filled with both pride and a touch of wistfulness.
He'll be fine; we've been over this.
You proceeded towards your educational institution to resume your own studies, putting aside worries about your brother for the moment. As you arrived at the entrance, you took a deep breath to ready yourself before entering, clutching your books tightly to your chest.
"Well, well, look who decided to grace us with her presence. Miss Smarty Pants finally showed up. Heard she even resorted to borrowing books from the royal library," Namgil, the scholar with the wealthiest father and your longtime tormentor, remarked as he annoyingly strolled alongside you, trailed by his group of cronies. One of them chimed in with a smirk, "Poor thing can't even afford her own books. Maybe if she catches the eye of some high-ranking officials in the palace, she won't need to study so hard at all."
Maintaining a neutral expression, you continued walking towards the foyer, where you could begin your studies undisturbed with the presence of teachers. Despite the taunting remarks being a regular occurrence during your journey from the outside to the inside of the institution, you had grown accustomed to them.
Reaching the foyer, you pivoted to face the group with a wide, sarcastic grin. "Well, boys, have you had your fill? If we're done wasting precious time trying to bring others down to boost our own fragile egos, maybe we should focus on our studies. After all, if we want to avoid squandering dear old daddy's money, we'll need to graduate. Time's ticking, gentlemen. Are we going to remain stuck in this childish behaviour forever?"
The satisfaction was palpable as you flashed a victorious smile and turned to stride into the foyer, leaving them no room for a rebuttal as a teacher emerged to greet the group. They hastily composed themselves, offering respectful bows and pretending as though nothing had happened.
Fools, you thought to yourself. This was precisely why you harboured such disdain for men. They were simplistic creatures, falling into one of two categories. The first, like Namgil and his cronies, were openly mean-spirited, condescending, and misogynistic. The second, exemplified by Royal Secretary Choi, was the cunning, duplicitous types who sought to earn your trust through false kindness before exploiting you. In the end, they were all cut from the same cloth.
At the end of the session, following a quiz intended to assess everyone's preparedness for the final examination, you unsurprisingly emerged as the top scorer once again. The teacher's announcement was met with the usual mixture of reactions, but your attention was drawn to his subsequent remarks.
"Miss Moon, once again, you've secured the top spot. Namgil, while second place may seem like an achievement, you should feel nothing but shame. All of you should. It's unacceptable to be outperformed by a woman. Study harder; I expect to see a different outcome in the next quiz."
You shook your head in disbelief at the teacher's words, seething inwardly at his ingrained bias. The implication that a woman should not surpass men in intellect spoke volumes about his archaic mentality. You were tired of being spoken about as if you weren't in the room, tired of the inherent sexism that permeated every aspect of your academic life. Graduation couldn't come soon enough; you were determined to prove these narrow-minded individuals wrong.
I'll show you morons.
"Oh boy, I know that look," Haneul remarked, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh as San emerged from his room the next day. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, his usual enthusiasm and determination shone through. She suspected her discouraging words from the previous evening had backfired, knowing her brother was just an optimistic idiot like that.
He scoffed, "What do you know? Go home already, noona. Your husband might start to worry if you keep visiting so often."
With a smirk, she lightly whacked him on the head. "I'm leaving today, don't you worry. But don't say I didn't warn you when whatever silly plan you might have ends up falling through. You men just love learning things the hard way, don't you? Let her be, Sannie."
"Yeah, yeah. Safe travels. I'll catch you later."
Haneul rolled her eyes in defeat. "Fine, fine. Send me away like I'm a nuisance. You should learn something from little Siwoo."
Turning back with a sarcastic grin, the royal secretary teased, "If you say so... love you, noona!" and blew her exaggerated kisses, earning a mockingly disgusted reaction. "Yuck! Save that for your future wife, gross!" she exclaimed, pretending to gag.
San strode through the palace corridors with newfound determination, his mind buzzing with plans and possibilities. He greeted the palace staff with a bright smile and a confident demeanour, earning curious glances from those he passed.
As he approached the royal study, he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. Today was the day he would begin executing his plan, the day he would show Scholar Moon that he was different from the rest, that he was sincere in his intentions.
Entering the king's presence, San found himself greeted with the warm smile of His Majesty. The elderly man's eyes twinkled with amusement as he observed his secretary's energy.
"You seem quite cheerful today, Royal Secretary Choi. Anything exciting happening in your life?" the king inquired with a chuckle as their daily meeting concluded.
San's grin widened, his heart racing with anticipation. "I suppose so, Your Majesty. I won't say more until I see positive results," he replied cryptically, unknowingly leaving the king to interpret his words as he wished. Little did the fool know, his vague response led His Majesty to believe he was referring to romantic pursuits.
The king's face lit up. "Oh, I can't wait to hear the good news. Best of luck, my boy. That's all for today. Carry on with your tasks," he said with a playful wink, dismissing San with a clap of his hands.
Secretary Choi bowed deeply, feeling grateful. "Thank you, Your Majesty!" he exclaimed before leaving the royal study, his mind already buzzing with plans to win over the female scholar.
He made his way through the library, exchanging nods with a few scholars absorbed in their studies. As he searched the aisles, hope waned with each passing moment. Nearly ready to give up, he reluctantly admitted to himself that you might not be there today. With a resigned sigh, he turned to leave.
But as he moved to exit, a flash of movement caught his eye. Turning back, he was stunned to see you tucked away in a quiet corner, fast asleep amidst a pile of borrowed books. A wave of tenderness washed over him at the sight of your peaceful form, and he approached you with silent steps, not wanting to disturb your rest.
He couldn't resist the urge to approach and observe you, struck by how serene and angelic you appeared in your slumber, a stark contrast to your usual tough and guarded demeanour. Seeing the sunlight streaming in from the nearby window and casting a glare on your face, he settled into the seat opposite you. With a gentle touch, he lifted his hand to shield you from the brightness, intent on preserving your peaceful rest.
Looking down at you like this, perhaps it was his innate sense of chivalry, but it stirred an intense urge to protect you, to help shoulder some of the burdens you must be carrying on those delicate shoulders of yours. He couldn't shake the feeling of admiration mingled with empathy as he watched you, lost in tranquil slumber amidst the chaos of the world around you. With a soft sigh, he longed to offer you more than just protection from the sun's glare, yearning to provide solace and support in any way possible.
As he watched you stir, letting out a small groan before readjusting your head and settling back into sleep, he felt a slight panic. However, his worry melted away when he realised you were merely shifting in your slumber. A soft sigh escaped him, accompanied by a gentle smile and a flutter in his heart at how endearing you looked.
Gosh, she looks adorable.
Resting his head on his palm, he continued to observe, noting the subtle signs of exhaustion etched across your beautiful face. Unlike other girls or women who likely had access to luxurious skincare products or ample rest to maintain their beauty, it was evident that any resources you had were dedicated to supporting your family and pursuing your studies. His gaze drifted to your hands, noticing the dry skin, blunt nails and paper cuts, evidence of both physical labour and tireless studying.
Gazing at you, his mind wandered to the challenges and hardships you must have faced throughout your childhood, shaping you into the resilient and guarded person you are today. He pondered on the beliefs you held about men, likely influenced by your past experiences. Working in the palace, San was all too familiar with the despicable behaviour of some men, having witnessed their deceit and manipulation firsthand. He understood, perhaps more than most, your strong aversion and distrust of men.
Yet, in his heart, he believed that you hadn't met men like him and his friends—men of integrity and genuine kindness. Determined to prove to you that good men existed, he resolved to show you through his actions. He was determined to be the exception, to demonstrate that not all men were as duplicitous as those you had encountered before. And in that moment, as he watched over you, he silently vowed to be the beacon of goodness and sincerity that you deserved.
Lost in his contemplations, he was jolted back to reality when he felt your hand push his away. Startled, he blinked, realising that the sun he had been shielding you from was now obscured by clouds. Your voice, sharp and incredulous, pierced through his thoughts.
"What in the world do you think you're doing, Royal Secretary Choi?" you demanded, your tone laced with annoyance and curiosity.
Flustered and caught off guard by your abrupt interruption, San quickly cleared his throat and straightened in his seat, feeling the weight of your scrutiny upon him. He could only imagine how his actions must have appeared from your perspective: waking up to find an uninvited man seated across from you, hand raised in an attempt to shield you from the absent sun.
"I-I can explain," he stammered, scrambling to find the right words to justify his actions. "I was just trying to—"
But before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off with a sarcastic smile, your words dripping with disdain.
"Let me guess," you said, your tone biting. "You just wanted to help? I thought I made myself very clear yesterday, but it seems I might not have. In case you missed the point, I'll repeat it again: I don't need your help. Thank you very much."
With that, you gathered all the books in your arms and swiftly exited, leaving him feeling chastised and uncertain of how to proceed.
As he sat frozen in his seat, watching your retreating figure, the royal secretary couldn't help but admire your firm resolve. Instead of feeling discouraged by your rejection, he found himself respecting you even more for it. Your unwavering stance showed him that you weren't one to let someone into your life easily, and in a world where men could be deceitful and manipulative, that was a reassuring trait. He couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration for you, even as he remained seated in the library, contemplating his next move.
Making your way out of the palace, your heart still raced from the encounter in the library as you clutched the stack of borrowed books close to your chest. Unbeknownst to Secretary Choi, you had been awake for some time, waiting to see what he would do, ready to catch him red-handed if he attempted anything untoward.
To your unpleasant surprise, you found that the glaring sun that had once been on your face was gone. Peeking through your lashes, you observed San going to great lengths to shield you from the brightness, even though he must have assumed you were still asleep. It was a small gesture, but one that spoke volumes about his character.
Even with his apparent kindness, you couldn't bring yourself to believe that he had done it without any ulterior motives. There had to be something he wanted from you; you were sure of it. You refused to let your guard down, you remained determined to stay wary of his intentions.
Despite your hopes that San would quit his efforts after the incident in the library, he proved to be annoyingly persistent. However, to your surprise, he no longer offered unsolicited help, seemingly aware that you had not asked for it. Instead, he chose a different approach to get closer to you.
Every day as you entered the palace, he greeted you with a bright smile and a friendly "good morning." You found his amiable demeanour irritating because it made it challenging for you to be rude to him when he was simply being a nice and sociable person. With no choice but to reciprocate his greetings, you returned them with a forced smile of your own, not wanting to appear impolite in front of other palace staff.
Today was no different, much to your dismay. Despite your multiple attempts to arrive either earlier or later than your usual time, he always seemed to be there. Deep down, you wanted to bluntly ask him if he had nothing better to do. Shouldn't a royal secretary be busy? Why was he always lingering around?
Approaching the entrance and spotting him, you couldn't help but slap a hand on your forehead in frustration. You tried to turn away, but he called out to you before you could make your escape.
"Scholar Moon! I see you're here early today. Good morning!" he exclaimed cheerfully.
You cursed under your breath and reluctantly turned back to feign a smile, bowing respectfully. "Indeed, I am... Good morning, Royal Secretary Choi," you replied through gritted teeth.
He beamed at you and gestured for you to join him. "Come, let us head in together!"
Letting out a sigh of disbelief, you put on your best fake smile and complied, knowing it wouldn't be in your best interest to be rude to someone of such high importance in front of other people. Damn it, you couldn't wait for the day to be over already.
Walking beside him, you sought a moment of tranquillity, but as expected, he initiated an unwanted conversation like always.
"How's Siwoo adjusting to school?" he asked, his tone overly chipper.
Suppressing the urge to roll your eyes, you briefly squeezed them shut before replying, "He's doing well. Thank you for asking."
His smile widened at your response. "That's great! I just hope he's feeling better than the last time I saw him. Poor boy was so upset."
You sighed, cutting him off before he could continue. "Yes, but he'll live—"
Before you could finish, a group of rushing court ladies surged around the corner. "Out of the way! Concubine Eom Heebin is giving birth!" Amidst the commotion, you were shoved aside, but a firm pair of arms caught you, guiding you to safety—San's arms.
You landed against his chest with a huff, and he peered down at you with wide eyes. "Careful there, watch your step! You alright?" His words lacked their usual formality, driven purely by instinct.
San gulped audibly, his gaze lingering on your features as if trying to memorise every detail. He marvelled at how beautiful you looked up close, relishing the sensation of holding you tightly against him. It felt strangely satisfying to shield you from danger, to have you vulnerable in his arms. There was an inexplicable desire within him to be the only one who knew how it felt to hold you like this.
Meanwhile, you felt a conflicting array of emotions swirling within you as you found yourself in his embrace. Despite your best efforts to maintain your dislike for him, you couldn't deny the unexpected sense of safety and comfort you felt in his arms. It unsettled you, this lack of disgust, and you hated how nice it felt, how it threatened to unravel the walls you had carefully constructed around your heart.
Realising your proximity, you blinked rapidly and pushed yourself away. "Y-yes, I'm fine. Thank you..." For once, you meant it.
Days passed, and you found yourself in a state of inner conflict whenever you were around him. Previously, you had to force yourself to maintain politeness and hide your disdain for him, but now, it was becoming increasingly difficult to be unpleasant.
You despised this newfound feeling of guilt he stirred within you, as if he was silently reproaching you for your past behaviour. Moreover, he continued to prove himself to be just as kind as everyone claimed, further complicating your emotions.
Hate brewed within you—not for the royal secretary as a person, but for the way he was challenging your beliefs about all men being alike. He made you start to doubt the certainties you once held dear, and you resented him for it. Most of all, you detested how he was making it difficult for you to maintain your animosity towards him.
Regardless of the swirling new emotions within you, one thing remained constant: your determination to avoid him at all costs. You were sick and tired of the conflicting feelings he stirred within you, and you knew that indulging in them would only serve as a distraction from your studies.
You needed to maintain your focus and drive, especially now when your responsibilities weighed heavily on your shoulders. The last thing you needed was to be sidetracked by unnecessary emotions brought about by a man, of all things.
But of course, life seemed determined to defy your efforts. Despite your best attempts to avoid him, it felt like he was everywhere you turned. With each passing day, you found yourself encountering him more frequently, almost as if he were purposely crossing your path.
The realisation was hard to swallow: you were seeing him more often than your own mother and younger brother combined. It was infuriating to admit, but no matter how hard you tried to evade him, he seemed to find a way to appear wherever you were.
As you finished up your studies and prepared to leave the palace, a sense of relief washed over you. Today had been the first in what felt like an eternity without a sighting of Royal Secretary Choi. Hope flickered in your heart as you packed up your belongings, eager to leave the palace behind and reunite with your little brother.
But just as you approached the main entrance, the sky darkened ominously. Thunder rumbled, and lightning streaked across the sky before a torrential downpour engulfed the area. "No, no, no, not now! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" you muttered under your breath, feeling frustration bubbling up inside you.
With no umbrella to shield you from the rain, you hurried to seek refuge under the closest shelter you could find: the awning of a nearby building. The sudden change in weather dashed your hopes of a smooth departure, leaving you stranded and drenched.
The thought of Siwoo waiting for you added to your unease. You cursed your lack of preparation, knowing that he would now have to endure more time with his bullies. It was another setback in a day that had promised to be free of Choi San's presence.
Yep, I'm convinced god hates me.
While you sheltered under the awning, your gaze remained fixed on the entrance, torn between the desire to run out into the rain to your brother and the realisation that falling sick was not an option. Too many people depended on you—your mother, your brother, and all the women in need of your assistance. You couldn't afford to be unwell, not with so many responsibilities resting on your shoulders.
Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice a figure approaching from behind until the raindrops abruptly ceased falling around you. Looking up, you were met with the sight of an umbrella being held over your head. Startled, you turned to see San standing beside you, concern etched on his features.
"Are you alright, my lady? Please allow me to escort you to your destination," he said, his voice gentle and sincere.
The royal secretary's surprise was evident when he realised it was you, causing him to stumble over his words in an attempt to explain himself. "O-oh! It's you, Scholar Moon! I swear I didn't realise it was you, I thought you were a palace staff or someone else! I mean, I wasn't trying to offer help when you didn't want it, or maybe I was..."
He paused, then continued, "But I promise, I'm not making any assumptions! I can leave if you want me to... I'll leave the umbrella with you, of course, because obviously little Siwoo is waiting for you. Sorry, I don't mean to ramble... I just— here you go." Without waiting for your response, he thrust the umbrella into your hand and hurried off into the rain, leaving you standing frozen in bewilderment, trying to comprehend the unexpected encounter.
As you stood there, still holding the umbrella he had left behind, you couldn't shake off the words he had said. They lingered in your mind, his voice echoing gently, making you question your own feelings. For the first time, you understood why women might find him charming. Despite your resolve to dislike him, you couldn't deny his physical attractiveness and his gentlemanly nature.
But as you thought about it further, a new emotion crept in—an unsettling realisation that his kindness wasn't reserved for you alone. He would be just as sincere and helpful to anyone in need. Suddenly, a twinge of jealousy stirred within you. Why did it bother you that he treated others with kindness? Why did you feel upset that you weren't the only one receiving his attention? What was wrong with you?
Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with these unfamiliar feelings. You couldn't understand why it mattered to you whether he was nice to everyone or not. But the fact that it did matter left you feeling even more bewildered. What were these emotions, and why the hell were they stirring within you now?
Lord, I must be out of my damn mind.
In the days that followed, your annoyance with San returned, but this time it was for a new reason—one you stubbornly refused to acknowledge. Despite your efforts to keep your distance and maintain your walls around him, you found it increasingly difficult to do so. His presence seemed to linger in your mind, his gentle demeanour and persistent kindness chipping away at your defences.
Meanwhile, the royal secretary remained hopeful after his recent encounters with you. He noticed the subtle changes in your behaviour—the once sarcastic smiles and curt words slowly giving way to genuine attempts to interact with him. He knew your pride was likely the barrier keeping you from fully opening up to him, but he was determined to break through it.
Perhaps it was the sense of accomplishment he felt, but he found himself increasingly consumed by thoughts of you and the challenge of breaking down your barriers to earn your trust. Each day, he eagerly anticipated going to work, knowing he might catch a glimpse of your beautiful face. Lately, he noticed it revealing more than just anger and disdain—it showed hints of other emotions too. He longed to witness them all, to be the first and perhaps the only one to see them. He felt a swell of pride, both in himself and in your progress, even if you were unaware of it.
"You like her, don't you?" San's gaze snapped up to meet his mother's, his chewing momentarily halted as he raised a questioning brow. "What are you talking about, eomma?"
She grinned, gesturing towards the additional lunch box he had instructed the servants to prepare for work that day. "Oh, you mean Scholar Moon? I mean, yeah, I guess I do...? I like everyone," he responded with a cheerful beam. However, her expression shifted to one of knowingness as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not what I mean, you silly boy. You have feelings for her, don't you?"
He choked on his food in surprise at her assertion. "Huh? Wh-what makes you say that? You know about my mission to prove her prejudice wrong, that's all there is to it. I don't feel any differently about her than I do about any other lady."
With a knowing smirk, the elderly woman caused him to wince. It was the same sarcastic expression his sister always wore before delivering a harsh truth. "Oh yes, because you make a point to greet every female palace staff member every morning, ask about all their family members, never stop talking about them, and ensure to pack extra lunch for them all just like you do for Scholar Moon, isn't that right?"
As his mother's words settled in, a sudden revelation struck San like a bolt of lightning. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a truth that had been hidden from him until now. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had begun—perhaps it had lurked beneath the surface from the start, waiting for the right moment to surface.
He had been so preoccupied with proving to you that he was different, so focused on challenging your prejudices, that he hadn't stopped to consider his own feelings. What had started as a mission might have morphed into something more. The concern and care he felt for you went beyond mere kindness; it was a genuine desire to protect and support you.
Reflecting on the moments when you had occupied his thoughts—the incident in the library, the near-accident with the court ladies—he realised that his feelings ran deeper than he had admitted to himself. Even as he grappled with the conflict between wanting to take care of you and respecting your independence, he couldn't ignore the truth any longer. Choi San was a man with a lot of love to give, and he wasn't shy or ashamed to admit that he had developed feelings for you—feelings that transcended friendship or admiration. It was a realisation that both surprised and invigorated him, filling him with anticipation for what the future might hold.
But he wasn't stupid; he understood that acknowledging his feelings didn't equate to knowing yours or if you could ever reciprocate them. Despite this, he chose to find contentment in this understanding. He wouldn't expect anything from you in return. Your happiness would suffice to make him happy, even if it meant remaining mere acquaintances.
With this resolve, he bid his parents farewell before heading to work, his heart fluttering at the prospect of seeing you once more.
Later that afternoon, San strolled around the area where you often spent your lunch breaks. Spotting you in the secluded pavilion near the royal library, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Instead of your usual packed lunch, you were nibbling on a meagre steamed bun. Approaching you with a grin, he greeted you.
"Good afternoon, Scholar Moon. I see you're having lunch as well," he greeted, and you nodded quickly, feeling self-conscious and embarrassed about your modest meal. Just as you were about to ask him what he wanted, he revealed the bag of lunchboxes he had been hiding behind his back.
"That's wonderful then. My family estate kitchen staff seemed to have made an extra set of lunch, and I was just wondering if maybe you would like to have it," he offered. You raised a sceptical eyebrow. "An extra set? That seems highly unlikely to happen."
He tried to maintain his composure despite being caught in a fib. "Fine. If you're not interested in it, I'm sure there are other palace staff who would enjoy it," he said, turning to leave. Panic surged within you as he started to walk away. "W-wait! I'll take it... please," you pleaded, reaching out to grasp his arm. With a satisfied nod, he settled down beside you.
That's what I thought.
As you opened the meticulously prepared lunchbox, a look of awe graced your features. The royal secretary chuckled at your adorable expression. He observed as you hesitated for a moment, glancing at him as if seeking approval before starting to eat. With a nod of encouragement, he joined in.
Little did you know, he had overheard some court ladies discussing the struggles faced by a female scholar, which could only be you, as you were the only one known. They recounted your struggles to afford essentials at home due to your brother's school fees and your own lack of income, all because of your dedication to your studies.
As you both began to eat, you didn't notice San biting his lip to hold back his laughter. Your eyes had widened and sparkled with innocent amazement at the flavours, a look he had never seen before. The sight made his heart flutter, confirming his feelings for you. He wanted to protect that innocence forever and be the only one to witness this endearing sight. He could easily picture spending time with you like this for life, and he knew he wouldn’t complain.
When you looked up and caught him staring, he quickly returned his gaze to his food. You blushed and checked your lips for any stray rice, wondering why he had been looking at you like that. Like a creep.
How annoying.
Relieved that there was nothing on your face, you continued eating. However, you furrowed your brows as you noticed the secretary picking at his food from the corner of your eye. Unable to contain your curiosity, you turned to see him pushing aside all the greens in his container. Raising an eyebrow, you asked, "Saving the best for last?"
He chortled, "Like hell I am."
Realising what was going on, you scoffed, "Seriously? The great Royal Secretary Choi doesn't eat his vegetables? Even my brother eats his. You should be ashamed of yourself."
He sputtered, clearly embarrassed, and you snickered at how flustered he appeared over your teasing. Glaring at you, he retorted, "Is that any way to talk to the kind samaritan who just treated you to lunch?"
You shrugged. "I'll treat anyone who doesn't eat their veggies the same way, with discrimination. If you won't eat them, give them here, you big baby."
He pouted, about to hand them over until you added, "Siwoo's going to be so disappointed when he hears about this. He looks up to you and thinks of you as his role model, you know." You gasped, realising you had revealed something you hadn't meant to share, but all your regret dissolved when you saw his reaction to your words.
San's jaw dropped, and he quickly snatched the greens back, stuffing his face with them. "There, I finished them. You happy now?!"
You couldn't help but burst into laughter. In moments like this, you wondered how wonderful it would be if all men were like him. You admired how his eyes crinkled as he joined in your laughter. He could be so annoyingly cute and likeable. Gosh, you hated it. You hated how warm he was making you feel, hated how good it felt.
As the two of you calmed down from your giggles, the smiles remained on your faces. You finished the last of your food, neatly wrapped the lunchbox back up in his bag, and handed it to him. "Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi," you said, your voice sincere.
His heart skipped a beat at your genuine gratitude. With a nod of acknowledgement, he reached out to take the bag from you. Both your breaths hitched when your fingertips brushed against each other. The unexpected contact sent a small, electric jolt through you both, causing you to momentarily lock eyes.
San's eyes softened, filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place. The world seemed to pause, and for a fleeting moment, the two of you were the only ones that existed. You could feel your pulse quickening, the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin.
"You're welcome," he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He took the bag, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary before pulling away.
You quickly looked down, trying to steady your racing heart. "I should get back to my studies," you said, standing up and smoothing out your clothes.
"Of course," he replied, standing up as well. "Take care, Scholar Moon."
With a final nod, you turned and walked away, feeling his gaze linger on your back. A small smile tugged at your lips as you wondered what it would be like if moments like these with him became a regular part of your life. You found your own thoughts baffling, as no man had ever made you feel such emotions before.
Could he possibly... be the only exception?
No, he could not.
You should have known better. Should have recognised the trouble he brought along despite his constant insistence on helping. Initially, you felt grateful for his frequent gestures, like bringing you lunch and accompanying you to pick up your brother from school during the rainy season, the three of you huddled under his umbrella—a sight that warmed your mother's heart.
For a while, it felt like being on Cloud 9. But in hindsight, you must have lost your mind to let him get so involved in your life. It seemed foolish to rely on him so much, to let him become so close to you and your family.
And inevitably, there were consequences.
You reached your breaking point when the bullying at your educational institution intensified. Rumours about you and the royal secretary spending time together spread like wildfire among your fellow scholars, leading to endless torment.
As you tried to leave the institution, hoping to find solace at home after enduring what felt like hours of torment, Namgil and his cronies blocked your path, their mocking laughter echoing around you like a cacophony of cruelty.
"Leaving so soon, Miss Smarty Pants? Off to see your beloved Royal Secretary Choi, I presume?" he jeered, his voice dripping with malice. "Who would've thought your success was all thanks to him? Must have made quite the deal to get him to treat you so well. Bet you're not so innocent anymore, huh?"
His words cut through you like knives, causing your steps to falter as you froze in place, the implications of his cruel insinuations hitting you like a ton of bricks. "Should've known," Namgil continued, his tone laced with venom. "All you women are good for is spreading your legs."
You felt a wave of humiliation wash over you, a burning rage rising up within you as you struggled to hold back tears. They had no idea what you had been through, the sacrifices you had made to get to where you were. But at that moment, all you could do was stand there, feeling utterly defenceless against their relentless cruelty.
Meanwhile, San couldn't shake off his growing concern for you. He hadn't caught sight of you all day, and his inquiries around the palace yielded no sightings of you either. The court ladies confirmed that you hadn't visited the palace at all, which only deepened his worry. You had never missed a day before, and the thought of you being sick or in trouble made his heart sink.
Leaving work that day, the extra lunch he had prepared for you still in his hands, he hurried over to your brother's school in hopes of finding you there. However, his heart sank further when he only found Siwoo waiting by the entrance as usual. The child's face lit up when he spotted the royal secretary.
"Hyung-nim! Did my noona send you here to pick me up today?" Siwoo asked eagerly. The royal secretary shook his head, his concern evident in his expression.
"No, Siwoo-yah. She hasn't been to the palace either. Do you know where her institution is?" San inquired. Your brother's expression turned worried, but he nodded.
"Yes, I do! Let's go find her!" Siwoo suggested, but San gently shook his head.
"No can do, you tell me where and I'll go. Your mother will worry if neither of you are home," San explained. The child reluctantly agreed, but not without making a request.
"Okay, but promise me you'll bring her back," Siwoo pleaded. The secretary gave him a reassuring smile and pinky promised him.
"Don't worry, I will."
As San approached your institution, relief washed over him when he spotted your familiar figure not too far from the main entrance. However, his relief quickly turned to concern when he noticed you weren't alone. Surrounding you were a group of male scholars, their expressions and body language indicating that the conversation was far from pleasant. His heart twisted uncomfortably at the sight of your wet eyes and defeated look. Were you being bullied?
With clenched fists, he stepped closer, his brows narrowing in anger as he overheard snippets of the conversation. It was clear that the group was making disparaging remarks about you. His blood boiled when he heard the leader of the gang suggesting that you had been selling your body in exchange for your success. How dare they?
These bastards.
While San understood that your previous encounters with men must have been unpleasant for you to harbour such a strong dislike for them, witnessing you being treated in such a manner was a first for him. It was no wonder you hated them so much; who could blame you? But he was here now, and he was determined to change that.
He stalked over, his towering and intimidating presence startling the scholars. "Are my ears deceiving me, or did I truly just hear such vile words coming from a scholar?" he demanded, his voice icy and authoritative. "Watch your words because rest assured, your headmaster will hear about this. Not only were you being misogynistic, but how dare you insinuate such despicable things about Scholar Moon? This woman has more integrity than all of you combined. She doesn't need any man's backing—not even mine—to get where she is today. She is fully capable of achieving that on her own, and I think you know that, given how your insecurity and jealousy are blatantly showing through your nasty actions."
The scholars' faces turned pale, their bravado evaporating in the face of the royal secretary's fury. He stepped closer, his fists clenched, ready to defend you from any further insults. The leader of the gang opened his mouth to retort but quickly thought better of it, swallowing his words and casting a nervous glance at his friends.
"L-let's go, guys," Namgil stuttered, bowing before scrambling away. They weren't stupid. This was His Majesty's royal secretary, and if he reported them to the king, they would face dire consequences. There was nothing to gain from angering him.
San turned his gaze to you, his eyes softening. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, his voice a stark contrast to the harsh tone he had just used.
Instead of a grateful nod like he had expected, you met him with a darkened expression. Taking deep breaths, you tried to hold back your tears and calm yourself down. When you remained silent, glaring at him, he sighed. "Was that too much? I—I'm sorry, I know you can defend yourself, but I just—"
You cut him off, speaking in a low voice, "This is all your fault, Choi San."
He froze, his heart clenching painfully at the last words he expected to hear from you. You continued, harshly wiping away stray tears with your sleeves, "If only you'd just leave me alone like I asked from the beginning… I've been bullied all my life, but the usual nonsense I could endure. Not once—never—had anyone ever implied something like that," you whispered the last part. "And it's all because of you. Haven't you done enough? If you truly want to help me, then please—god—please, just leave me alone."
With that, you walked out of the institution, leaving him reeling in shock and hurt at your words. This was not how he had imagined things would turn out.
San finally realised that maybe his sister had been right. If distancing himself would make you happier, he’d do it, even if it meant suffering from being away from you. From that day onwards, he would make sure to keep his distance, honouring your wish.
You went to your younger brother’s school that evening and were surprised to hear that he had already been picked up. Panicking, you rushed home and were relieved to see Siwoo safely at the entrance, waiting with your worried mother. He clung tightly to you as you stroked his hair.
"Who brought you home?" you asked softly.
He sniffled, "Sannie hyung-nim… he promised he’d bring you home, but he lied. You came home alone."
You sighed, holding the child closer as guilt slowly crept into your heart. "He didn’t lie, Siwoo-yah. He did come to me, but I was the one who left him."
Your mother watched you with concern, her eyes reflecting relief and confusion. She reached out, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "What happened, dear?"
You hesitated, the weight of the day's events pressing down on you. "I— I just... he won't bother us again, mother. I made sure of that."
Siwoo looked up at you, his eyes wide with innocence and confusion. "But why, noona? He was so nice to us."
Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you hugged your brother tighter. "It will protect us. It will make things easier."
You were aware that you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone else. But you would rather die than admit it. You were Scholar Moon, the first female scholar in Joseon, and you didn't need a man to survive. You never did, and you never would. Choi San was merely a hindrance, but he was now in the past. Things would finally return to normal. You would excel in your exams and fulfil your dreams. Everything would be fine.
Or would it really?
Days following that proved much harder than anticipated. The royal secretary had indeed left you alone, as you'd requested. While you should have been glad, a part of you felt irritated by his obedience. You resented that he hadn't fought harder, but you knew you had no one to blame but yourself. You felt difficult to deal with. Surely, a man as good as Choi San deserved someone better than you. He had gone above and beyond to help you for the past few months, yet all you gave him in return were harsh words you... likely didn't mean at all.
Wait, what even are these thoughts? None of that should matter; it's all in the past. You needed to focus on your studies.
With a massage of your temples, you attempted to reread the same sentence you had been struggling with for the past hour. However, endless thoughts of that stupid man kept resurfacing, haunting you and weighing heavy on your heart with an unpleasant feeling you wished would disappear. God, did you hate him. Why was he so annoying even when he wasn't around?
You hated how he consumed your thoughts.
Everywhere you turned in the palace, he lingered in your mind. Each time you picked up your brother, he intruded into your thoughts, and even passing by your educational institution's entrance reminded you of him. What was wrong with you? What had he done to you? You were fine before meeting him, and you would be fine now. You kept repeating this to yourself, but all resolve crumbled when you saw him approaching one morning in the palace. It was the first time seeing him since that day—the day you'd uttered those cruel words to him.
You froze, clutching your books tightly to your chest, bracing yourself for whatever words or actions he might deliver. However, your heart sank when he simply passed by with a respectful nod. Why did that sting so much? You had brought this upon yourself. The urge to chase after him was overwhelming, and you squeezed your eyes shut to suppress the longing.
Pull yourself together, this is for the best.
You didn't need him.
Or did you?
Why does it hurt so much?
The atmosphere between you and the royal secretary had shifted, turning awkward and strained. Everyone in the palace could sense the change, the tension that now defined your interactions—or rather, the lack thereof. The once easy camaraderie had vanished, replaced by uncomfortable silences and fleeting, cautious glances. It wasn't long before word reached Namgil, who seized the opportunity to make your life even more miserable. The bullying intensified, but you endured it all, determined to pass your final exam without incident.
Time flew by, even as you suffered.
You buried yourself in your studies, hoping to push him out of your mind. Every page you turned, every line you read, was an attempt to forget the way he made you feel. The palace corridors, once filled with the warmth of his ever-comforting presence, now echoed with your lonely footsteps and the quiet rustle of your books.
Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, your final examination was approaching. The weight of the upcoming test pressed down on you, but it was a welcome distraction from the pain in your heart. You could still see him in the palace, still catch glimpses of his familiar figure in the distance, but the gap between you felt insurmountable.
On the eve of your exam, you found yourself in the palace library, surrounded by stacks of books and scrolls. The dim light of the lantern cast long shadows across the room, mirroring the shadows in your heart. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts.
Then, without warning, the door creaked open, and there he was. San, standing in the doorway, looking just as conflicted as you felt. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, neither of you moved.
"Scholar Moon," he finally said, his voice low and hesitant. "I heard your final exam is tomorrow. I wanted to wish you luck."
You nodded, trying to keep your voice steady. "Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi."
He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours. "I know you asked me to leave you alone, but I just want you to know that I believe in you. You are more than capable of achieving your dreams."
Tears threatened to well up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. "I appreciate that," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
For a moment, it seemed like he might say more, but then he simply nodded and turned to leave. As the door closed behind him, you felt a pang of regret. You had to fight everything in you to resist running after him, holding onto him, telling him how much you regretted everything, how wrong you had been, how much you… missed him.
No, stop it.
You took a deep breath and returned to your books, knowing that tomorrow's exam was the key to your future. You had to stay focused. You had to succeed, even if it meant pushing aside the feelings you couldn't quite shake.
The next morning, your mother smoothed your robes as you prepared to leave for the palace where the final examination would take place. Her hands were gentle, but the pride in her eyes was unmistakable.
"This is it," she whispered, a soft smile on her face. "All your hard work will pay off today. You will finally be someone in this land. The first female scholar-official in Joseon."
You nodded, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. Today was the day you had worked so tirelessly for. Today, you would prove yourself.
"You look beautiful, noona!" Siwoo cheered, his excitement contagious.
You smiled down at your little brother, ruffling his hair. "Thank you, Siwoo-yah. I'll make you proud."
As you stepped outside, the morning sun casting a golden hue over the palace grounds, you felt a surge of determination. You wouldn't have time to think about a certain annoying man who had been invading your thoughts more than you cared to admit. You wouldn't let the memory of Choi San torment you more than Namgil and his friends ever could.
With each step towards the examination hall, you reminded yourself of your goals. You were Scholar Moon, the first female scholar in Joseon. You were about to make history.
As you entered the courtyard, the confident bounce in your step reflected the culmination of years of hard work and determination. You were oblivious to the devious grins Namgil and a few other scholars exchanged as their gazes followed your figure.
"There she is," Namgil sneered, nodding toward the bridge above the large pond that everyone would later cross to reach the examination hall. A wicked idea formed in his mind. "Remind me, boys. It would be impossible for someone with drenched clothes to participate in the final examination, is that correct?"
They snickered, immediately understanding his implication. "Yes, I think that is right."
You moved through the crowd, nodding to a few familiar faces, your mind already focused on the examination ahead. You had no idea that behind you, Namgil and his cronies were plotting to ruin everything you had worked all your life for.
As the time approached for the scholars to cross the bridge and enter the hall, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the challenge ahead. This was your moment, and nothing would stand in your way.
Or so you thought.
As you stepped onto the bridge, Namgil and his cronies moved into position. With a quick, coordinated push, you were sent plummeting into the pond below. The cold water enveloped you, and panic set in immediately. You flailed, trying to keep your head above water, but it was futile. "H-help! Please!"
Laughter erupted from above. Namgil and his friends stood at the edge of the bridge, their mocking laughter ringing in your ears.
"Oops! Looks like Scholar Moon won't be making history today," Namgil taunted, his voice dripping with malice.
"I... c-can't swim..."
Everyone froze, the courtyard falling silent as your bully's laughter ceased. The realisation hit them like a ton of bricks: the pond was much deeper than they had anticipated, and you couldn't swim. Your desperate cries for help echoed in the sudden stillness, turning their malicious prank into a potential tragedy.
Panic spread among the scholars as they realised what they had done. What began as sabotage could now be seen as attempted murder, and their futures hung in the balance. Namgil's face drained of colour as he watched you struggle, knowing full well the consequences of their actions.
Fortunately for you, and unfortunately for them, San happened to be dropping by to observe the examination. His heart plummeted at the sight before him. Without a second thought, he pushed through the panicked crowd of useless men and plunged into the pond, desperate to save you.
His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you up from the depths. He swam with determined strokes, bringing you to the safety of the pond's edge. As he hoisted you onto solid ground, he checked for signs of life, his own breath coming in ragged gasps from the effort and fear.
You coughed and sputtered, expelling water from your lungs as you gasped for air. San's relieved expression melted into one of fierce protectiveness and anger. He turned to face the group of terrified scholars, his eyes blazing with fury.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, his voice a low growl. "Do you have any idea what you almost did?"
Namgil and his friends could only stammer incoherent excuses, their earlier bravado replaced by sheer terror. The royal secretary's intervention had saved you, but it had also sealed their fate.
A few examiners rushed out just in time to witness the chaos, their expressions darkening at the sight of the guilty, terrified faces of Namgil and his cronies. Realising the gravity of their actions, the bullies pleaded for mercy as they were escorted away to face the consequences.
The royal secretary turned toward you, gently brushing aside the damp strands of hair that clung to your face, his touch tender. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, his concern evident in his expression.
Your lips quivered at the tenderness in his voice and the worry etched on his face. He was the first and only man to care so deeply for you, and you couldn't fathom how you had repeatedly pushed him away. But now, tired of denying your feelings, you couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in your eyes. With a broken sob, you shook your head. "No… I'm not," you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder.
He hesitated for a moment, startled by your sudden embrace, before returning it, enveloping you in his arms. "What's wrong? Tell me," he murmured, his voice laced with concern.
You sobbed harder, weakly hitting him. "It's you… y-you're so annoying, you know that? I hate it so much… hate that I love you."
He pulled back, wide-eyed, holding your shoulders at arm's length as he gazed into your tear-filled eyes. "Wh-what did you say…? This isn't a dream, is it?"
Through your tears, you chuckled at his reaction. "I finally muster the courage to confess to you, and that's your response?"
His smile broke through, the one you adored so much, the one where his eyes disappeared into slits, bringing warmth and comfort no matter how hard things got. Pulling you back into his arms, he stroked the back of your head. "I love you too..."
"How's your first day as a Scholar-Official, Moon?" inquired the royal secretary as you grinned at him. "It's going well, Royal Secretary Choi. Thank you for asking."
After he assisted you in petitioning His Majesty for another chance at your final examination, arguing that you were merely a victim of foul play, you were granted the opportunity. As anticipated, you passed with flying colours, ranking at the top of the batch. Finally, you held the prestigious title of scholar-official.
However, that wasn't the only change in your life. Choi San openly courted you, much to the king's approval, solidifying your status as a formidable power couple.
Leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead, he smiled, "I'll see you after work."
You blushed and gently pushed him away. "Not here, please. But yes, I'll see you later."
As you left the palace after your day's work, you spotted a familiar face. Smiling, you greeted her, but your steps faltered when she bowed respectfully.
"Hi there. I remember you," you said, trying to recall where you had met her before.
She grinned knowingly. "Yes, it's good to see you again, Scholar-Official Moon. I suppose you believe my words about the royal secretary now, don't you? After all, you and he are the talk of the palace."
Your cheeks flushed, recalling that she had been the court lady to disclose San's identity during your initial encounter. You nodded awkwardly, trying to recover from your embarrassment.
She chuckled softly. "Well then, don't let me keep you. Royal Secretary Choi is waiting for you by the entrance."
Your heart soared at the sight of San standing by the entrance, just as the court lady had claimed. He was waiting for you, and the realisation filled you with an indescribable warmth. This wasn't just any man; this was your man. Yours alone. The sight of him, tall, handsome, kind, and caring, reaffirmed your feelings.
Without a second thought, you ran over, calling out, "Sannie!" He turned towards you, his face lighting up with that beam that never failed to make your heart race. His arms opened wide, and you leapt into them, feeling a rush of joy at being in his embrace.
"I missed you, honey," he whispered, his voice filled with affection.
You pressed your lips against his, relishing the moment as his response came swiftly, his kiss soft and reassuring. Pulling back slightly, a smile played on your lips, your heart dancing with joy. "I missed you too, my big baby," you teased.
"Come on, remember you wanted to learn more about my past?" you said, chuckling at the pout on his face as you pulled away.
He nodded eagerly, and you took his hand, leading him towards a place you hadn't visited in a long time.
"So, this was the root of your hatred for men…" he murmured, his gaze fixed on your father's grave as you stood beside him. You had just finished recounting everything that had transpired, from the beginning of your existence to the hardships you endured to reach where you are today.
"Yes, but you showed me that not all men are the same," you replied softly, your voice tinged with gratitude.
He gently squeezed your hands, turning to face you with a serious expression. "And I won't stop showing you. I promise I'll be different from your father and every other man you've encountered. I'll protect you and your family as if they were my own. I'll strive to be the best husband to you and father to our future child. You'll never have to suffer alone again. I'm here for you," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours.
You chuckled softly through your tears, nodding in response. "That's amusing… I don't recall agreeing to be your wife just yet. What are you talking about, Choi San?"
He let out a playful whine, "Hey! You—wait... you said 'yet' though, so that means... you will eventually, right?" he asked hopefully.
Teasingly, you stuck your tongue out at him before turning and running away. But deep down, you knew that no matter how far you went, he would always be there to catch you.
Of course, you idiot.
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Holy crap, I was gone for like 2 weeks and I return to 1.85k+ followers?! ASDFGHJKL thank you all so much😭
Anyway, I hope this was decent, y'all... I swear, I didn't plan for this part to be so freaking long HAHA but I just felt like it would take quite a bit for her hatred to turn into love hehe I hope the ending didn't feel rushed or anything :3
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! ❤️
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374 notes · View notes
rileyslibrary · 1 year
Note
I love your sense of humour and have cracked up at your stories multible times. Maby you can find some inspiration in this:
Price ordering the team to an etiquette training so they know how to behave in case they have to go under cover in a more "fancy" environment (or the upcoming mission may require something like this). I'm thinking about Ghosts "sausage fingers" from the origami bit on a delicate litte cake fork... Or him needing to *converse* with someone.
I think putting these hard soldiers in a situation that's out of their comfort zone is always a fun read!
Thank you for letting us enjoy your fantastic writing! <3
Be gentle, man!
Relationship: TF141 x F!Reader with a potential Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader (platonic?) on the horizon. Also there’s an OC in the story.
Word Count: 1,598 (approx. 7-8 min reading time)
Notes: I began writing this last night as a joke, and couldn’t stop. Thank you SO MUCH for inspiring me to do this, anon. It’s a crackfic btw. (There’s a part 2 now here)
———————————————————————
The training room feels out of place compared to its usual purpose. Bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, the once-busy gym has been transformed into a classroom for an unlikely lesson—manners, of all things. Table manners, to be precise.
“Talk about Fitness Vs. Finesse,” Soap whispers, and you playfully nudge his side. The comment reaches Gaz’s ears, and he lets out a chuckle. Yet, Price’s death stare reclaims your attention and brings you back to focus.
You all sit around a long, polished mahogany table atop the gym’s boxing ring, admiring the delicate china and crystal glassware set before you. It reminds you of Aunt Claire’s preserved collection, which rarely leaves its cabinet. Lady Theodora, your etiquette instructor, assures you that each piece serves a purpose, and you will put them all to use. Every. Single. One of them.
Lady Theodora, the epitome of timeless confidence, moves gracefully around the table. Her silver hair is slicked back, framing a face that exudes years of wisdom and experience. Her Bordeaux-coloured shawl billows behind her as she glides, catching the gentle breeze her steps create. She pauses behind Price’s chair and reveals the reason behind today’s masterclass: an undercover operation.
“In the world of espionage, where appearances can mean the difference between life and death,” she says in a soft voice, “the art of etiquette becomes a weapon, a shield, and,” she concludes, resting her hand on Price’s shoulder, “your ticket to survival.”
“Bollocks.”
All eyes are drawn to the far end of the table, where a shadowy figure prefers to go unnoticed but isn’t afraid to express doubts. The only visible sign of life is a hand fidgeting with the butterknife.
“I beg your pardon, Lieutenant.” Lady Theodora says, and Ghost leans forward, revealing his unmasked—and visibly annoyed—face.
“We’re soldiers, not knights,” he claims. “Teaching us how to use all these,” he says, motioning to the various utensils before him, “is a waste of time, both yours and mine.”
Lady Theodora regards him gently as if looking at a child throwing a tantrum. She smiles and walks behind him, gripping the back of his chair.
“You seem quite certain of your own competence and doubtful of mine, Mr Riley,” she says, amused.
Ghost tilts his head to the side, partially facing her.
“With all due respect, Lady Theodora,” he replies, “I don’t believe you fully comprehend how such missions operate.”
Lady Theodora lets a light chuckle as she moves closer to Ghost’s face.
“My record of 25 confirmed kills, three of which were accomplished with a butterknife like the one in your hand, might suggest otherwise,” she admits. “Now, would you kindly move your seat forward, Lieutenant? I’ll show you how to act like a proper gentleman.”
Ghost’s Adam’s apple bobbles as he swallows hard. He returns the butterknife to its original position and pushes his chair forward with Lady Theodora’s help.
Gaz clears his throat and looks at Soap.
“Imagine her dinner parties,” he whispers so Price doesn’t hear him, “they must be perfectly executed.”
“Bet she makes a killer soufflé,” Soap whispers back.
You look at them and mutter, “You two are beyond help.” Unfortunately, it’s your own comment that catches Price’s attention this time, and he gives you a stern warning to behave.
“Let’s get started,” Lady Theodora says. “Projecting confidence and grace requires proper posture: sit up straight, shoulders back, and imagine a string pulling you upward from the crown of your head.”
You all adjust your posture, attempting to imitate Lady Theodora. Ghost used to a more relaxed posture, finds it difficult to maintain the required formality. His broad shoulders hunch forward, and he struggles to keep his legs straight.
“Excellent,” Lady Theodora remarks, catching Ghost’s struggle but choosing not to comment further. “Next, we shall delve into the art of dining. Each utensil on the table has a specific purpose, and it is essential to use them correctly.”
She points to the array of utensils laid out before you. Multiple forks, knives, and spoons of various sizes and shapes make the sight overwhelming.
“The outermost utensils are for the earlier courses, while the inner ones are for the later ones.” Lady Theodora says, “It’s like unwrapping a gift, one course at a time.”
You all nod and place the napkin on your lap to begin the process.
Ghost’s ingrained military habits take over when food is served, causing him to devour it quickly. He shovels forkfuls of food into his mouth without looking up and barely pausing to chew.
“Mr Riley,” Lady Theodora addresses Ghost, who shoots his head up to look at her. “I understand the military inclination to eat fast, but we must remember that the food isn’t going anywhere. Take your time, savour each bite, and enjoy your meal, please.”
“Sorry ’bout that.” Ghost mumbles with his mouth full.
Lady Theodora raises an eyebrow. “Mr Riley, it is impolite to speak with your mouth full,” she reminds him. “Please, swallow your food before continuing.”
Ghost swallows and clears his throat. “Apologies, Lady Theodora,” he mutters.
Lady Theodora smiles and nods at Ghost’s response. “Very well, Lieutenant Riley,” she says. “Remember, dining is about more than just the food; it’s also about the company and the experience.”
As the training continues, you witness Soap’s attempts to initiate a proper conversation, only to subconsciously bring up military strategies. Gaz, on the other hand, struggles with small talk and, when asked about his hobbies, blurts out his love of explosions.
“Kerosene is one hell of a—”
“No kerosene talk on the table, Sergeant,” Lady Theodora interrupts. “How about we talk about something more appropriate, like, for example, what did you do today?”
“You’re not going to like it.” He replies.
“Did it involve kerosene?” She asks and receives multiple excited nods from Gaz.
Ghost forgets about his napkin while using the finger bowl and instinctively flicks his hands to dry them. Droplets of water scatter across the table, and Lady Theodora steps forward with a calm smile. She retrieves his napkin and hands it to him. “Remember, Lieutenant,” she whispers, “the napkin is your ally.”
Throughout this ordeal, Price seems to be the only one who already has a natural fluidity in his movements. Like he already knows about etiquette.
You compliment his impeccable manners, but Lady Theodora intervenes before Price can respond.
“Oh, that’s because the Captain already received my services a few years ago,” she reveals, winking.
Price, caught off guard, coughs and sputters, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. After regaining his composure, he clears his throat and grins.
“Yes, well, Lady Theodora’s guidance has been, um, invaluable,” he manages to say and lowers his gaze to his plate. Gaz raises an eyebrow, and Soap gives a sly smile.
With the etiquette training completed, Price gracefully positions his utensils on his plate and folds his napkin. Lady Theodora hands him a file stack, which he distributes to you.
“These files contain detailed background information for your assigned roles,” he explains. “Study them carefully; familiarise yourselves with the personas you will embody, and don’t worry; with Lady Theodora’s help, you’ll have plenty of time to learn how to carry yourselves.”
He watches you all as you take hold of your respective files, scanning the pages and absorbing the details that will shape your performances.
“Gaz, within those pages, you’ll uncover the roadmap to shape your tech persona, along with essential contacts and valuable industry insights,” Price declares.
“A startup entrepreneur,” Gaz mutters and nods, “nice.”
“Soap,” Price continues, “your file contains the lineage and history of an alleged oil tycoon family; you’ll assume the identity of their sole son and heir to the business.”
“Why do I get the oil-moneyed spoiled brat?” Soap protests, “Gaz is the one obsessed with fossil fuel!”
Price looks at Lady Theodora, silently begging her to take the lead.
“Focus on embodying the demeanour of an heir, Sergeant MacTavish,” she comforts Soap. “Acquiring in-depth knowledge of the business is not a top priority now.”
Finally, Price shifts his focus to you and Ghost. His voice softens, and a smile appears on his lips.
“As for the two of you,” he says, “your assignment requires a convincing portrayal of a couple.”
You and Ghost exchange a brief look before returning your focus to the files in your hands.
“Laswell will provide you with a forged marriage certificate and photos of your alleged relationship,” Price continues. “The documents will serve as tangible proof if the need to validate your connection arises.”
“Any chance to let us know who or what we’re after?” Gaz asks, and Price shakes his head.
“Baby steps, Sergeant; we’re waiting for Laswell to give us more intel,” he explains, “but as far as we know, we’re dealing with people who can buy their way out of some very sketchy shit.”
“Language, Captain.” Lady Theodora reminds him.
“Please accept my sincere apologies, Theodora,” he says and turns to Gaz. “I meant sketchy things, Sergeant.”
As they continue discussing the mission, your mind wanders on the latest information. Ghost’s partner? How? You look at the file and then back at Ghost. You see Lady Theodora walking behind Ghost’s chair and leaning close to his ear. She looks at you and whispers to him.
“I told you, Lieutenant,” she says, “I’ll mould you into a proper gentleman.”
Ghost turns to face you as well. “I’m afraid that’s impossible, Lady Theodora,” he replies.
But Lady Theodora smiles and touches his shoulder, “Oh, you’ll see, Mr Riley—you’re my gift to unwrap, one course at a time.”
———————————————————————
Part 2 ->
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abbysdolly · 10 months
Note
RAAAAAAA VIKING ABBY AND READER
(idk if you do x reader stuff i just saw your requests for asks lmao)
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⁀➷ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑳𝑭-𝑲𝑰𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑫 ˚₊‧⁺˖
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𝘷𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨!𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘹 𝘷𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
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ೀ › 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: OMG anon I've been thinking about viking!abby so many times before! And thank you so much for being officially my first request! hope you like it and sorry if there's any errors hehe. (Also I took the last name for Abby because of Eivor the main character of Assassin's Creed Valhalla, and the style of female Eivor is how I envision viking!abby) ♡
ೀ › 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Reader is female, suggestive content so minors do not interact, fluff and lightly mention of battles and scars. Let me know if there's anything else! ♡
(Special thanks to @andromeda-abides and @little-star-bun who helped me proofread this fic ♡)
There she was. Accompanied by the imposing howl of wolves, ax in hand. Crimson droplets adorned her shield and clothes while her slightly chapped lips quivered with irrepressible courage. She fought like no man known could. The way her ax moved smoothly like the wind itself was hypnotic and filled with such grace, passion and anger.
Her golden hair trapped in tiny and big braids, some strands danced freely adorned with silver rings that made it look like the golden light of the sun combined with the mysterious silver stars from the midnight sky.
And in that exact moment you knew that your heart belonged to her, for eternity.
The stories people told didn't do her justice. Especially the first time you saw her fight. The first time your eyes and hers connected with deep love and devotion between the clashing of axes and bodies that now sleeped eternally waiting for the Valkyries.
Like a ravenous wolf she ended every enemy in sight; she was a living myth. Some even believed that she was perhaps the unknown daughter of Odin himself, given that her strength was comparable to the All-father himself.
But only you could see the truth behind those tough looks and that pretty scar that adorned one side of her face, a scar of forgotten battles that helped her to build the respect she had now. You could see the woman who had fears and weakness like all humans, but there was nothing more beautiful to you.
"Freyja, Lady of the North, empower me. Give me strength, withhold my fear, embolden my spirit... Give me courage" she whispered, the familiar view of her kneeled in front of the wooden statue of the Goddess only meant that another battle was waiting beyond the threshold of your shared home.
The prayers to the Goddess Freyja and Odin were the only things that accompanied Abby to her battles, the battles to defend the honor of her people and most importantly to defend the land where you lived in peace with her.
"They are back, they are safe!" one of the children shouted while running to the entry of the village. Soon enough you heard the cries of the families that awaited for their beloved ones.
Your feet moved with such speed, eager eyes searching for Abby that was greeting the many children around her that were impatient to know the adventures she had this time.
"Okay, okay. I'll tell you all that we saw before dinner!" she answered to the children who ran and laughed around her.
Her beautiful eyes met yours making you feel goosebumps like the first time you exchanged looks with her.
A tender smile found a place in her face. She fought for days and she was beyond tired but seeing you was the best part of coming back home.
"Abby, you're back! Oh you can't imagine how much I missed you. Are you alright? Are you injured?" your voice breaking like the thin ice that covers the rivers in the winter, filled with emotion.
Trembling hands caressed Abby's face, making sure she was really there and not something created by your mind. But no, she was there with you.
"Of course I'm back, like I always do" she responded with a now toothy smile and continued "Shh, shh. I'm alright my love, I'm here with you… Finally" her lips soon found yours with deep need and desire, her familiar pine scent filled your senses while the heated kiss said better than any words could.
"Let me help clean you up before dinner, you need to rest my love" you whispered once the kiss ended, her forehead pressed slightly to yours while her big and calloused hands holded your face with tenderness.
A surprised gasp left your mouth as soon as you were now being carried away by Abby, your waist resting against one of her broad shoulders like it was nothing.
Shortly after between laughs she put you down, the door already opened because of the urge to see her a couple of minutes ago "Well, thank you for the ride" you teased as a smirk appeared on Abby's face.
She sat on one of the two wooden chairs, humming when you began to peel off each one of her clothes leaving her upper body bare "You don't have to thank me, I like carrying pretty girls" her cocky attitude always made you smile endlessly, Abby carried herself with lot of self confidence and you couldn't blame her, she was powerful and beautiful. And she knew it.
"Oh, so you carry every pretty girl that crosses your view?" you questioned, eyebrow arched slightly. Your question made her chuckle "Well, not exactly. Just one pretty girl caught my sight… and my heart" she revealed, her voice and gestures exaggerated making her look like a teenager in love and you couldn't help but roll your eyes and smile at her.
"You're such a tease, Abby Wolf-Kissed" her legs opened to leave place to yours, your hands undoing her tight braids making her blonde locks fall beyond her shoulders and covering her chest slightly "But I love you that way" you continued, this time in a gentle and loving whisper due to the closeness. The dim and warm light of the lantern illuminated the scars spaced across Abby's body, your fingertips traced along them and you remembered how some of them were cleaned and treated by you.
She looks up at you, feeling safe under your gaze and touch "I thank the gods for letting me see you again. And I thank you for doing my duties while I'm away" her hands found home on your waist trying to have you closer.
"You don't need to thank me, Abby. I enjoy taking care of our people like you always do, I thank the gods as well for bringing you back to me… Safe'' her eyes sparkled beautifully and just by looking at them you could feel all the love behind those icy orbs.
Her hands caressed your waist going down slightly to your thighs, missing the feeling of your warm body against the skin of her rough hands. Your cheeks warmed up at the familiar feeling of her hands roaming your body with such confidence, your body molding like clay under her hands making your current task of cleaning her body something so hard to do.
Her eyes never left your face as you tried to soak a piece of cloth to clean hers. The black painting around her eyes now slightly faded and easily to clean, the dirt going away allowing you to see those pretty freckles spaced across her nose and cheeks "You're so beautiful" you whispered again now cleaning her neck and shoulders, the air thick enough that Abby could cut it with her ax.
She smiled, her cheeks getting warm as soon as she heard your compliment. Even though she was tough and strong you could make her so shy with just a compliment "Not as beautiful as you, my love" she answered in a whisper, the muscles of her toned arms flexing each time you passed the wet cloth on her warm and freckled skin.
Her gentle, slightly calloused hand cupped your cheek, searching for those beautiful eyes of yours. Searching for those pretty lips she craved so badly until she couldn't control herself anymore and stole a kiss from them. The passion glowed through both your pores and each gentle touch said a small "I love you" onto the other's skin.
The only thing in your mind was her and only her, all of her. Her smell, her hair, her lips, her body, how warm she was, everything.
"I have something for you" she breathed between the heated kisses. "Close your eyes for me, please" her velvety voice making your head fuzzy (obviously not for the heated make out session you had a couple of seconds ago).
And so you did, you closed your eyes and sighed nervously. Her gifts and surprises were always exciting but this time everything felt even more intimate, more serious.
Gently Abby put a gold ring out of one of the tiny pockets in her belt.
"Open your eyes now, my love" she whispered, leaving a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose while putting the precious ring on the palm of your hand. Her heartbeat fast, eager to see your reaction.
Your eyes opened slowly seeing her red cheeks and a shy smile, she took your hand and took the ring again putting it slowly on your ring finger, eyes not leaving yours.
The ring was shaped like a little flower with gemstones for the petals, each one shining beautifully almost like Abby's eyes. "Oh Abby this is so beautiful, you–" she cut you off with a gentle kiss on your lips "My love… Would you marry me?" each side of her hands on your face as she said that, her voice making you enter to the Valhalla almost instantly.
"Of course I want to Abby! I would be so glad to be your wife. I'd love to" you answered with tears of happiness running down your cheeks. Her smile grew bigger from the pride of finally having you as her precious wife. Her strong arms lifted you with ease and she laughed with joy while she spinned you around the house.
Both of your hearts felt the same thing as the first time you saw each other. With unconditional love and devotion, though she wasn't a seer, she definitely saw that you were for her and only her; your destinies were sewn together by Fregga herself.
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Thank you for reading! Any like reblog or comment are really appreciated, have a good day/night and don´t forget to drink water! love ya! ♡
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samodivaa · 6 months
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“Scraps and shreds of thoughts were simply swarming in his brain, but he could not catch at one, he could not rest on one, in spite of all his efforts…” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
smut - ⁂ ︳angst - ☢ ︳fluff - ☀
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dividers by - @saradika The fics that I read May-December.
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White Wolf by mrsbuckybarnes1917 | ⁂
Summary: You meet Bucky while you're in Wakanda and you just can't resist his wolfish charms!
Tied Up by duckybarnes1917 | ⁂
Summary: Bucky wants to be tied up, teased, and denied.
Stallion for the show by rookthorne | ⁂
Summary: It was your first classic car meet and you were excited for what lay ahead. Meeting others within the scene and maybe the possibility of making friends was your goal, but what awaited you was much, much more intense – for better, or for worse.
night visits by httpwintersoldier | ⁂
Summary: usually people find their own interests, but when you are "forcefully recruited" to work under HYDRA, your interest found you first.
for your own good by witchywithwhiskey | ⁂
Summary: bucky barnes is gifted a strange-looking plant but when you, his closest friend in avengers tower after steve rogers, touches the leaves, it lets out a strange cloud of pollen. both you and bucky soon feel the effects of the plant's pollen and, though bucky's worried about hurting you, you know he never would—and you need his help. desperately.
Dream Maker by thenhewaswrongaboutme | ⁂
Summary: Bucky comes home late one night after a mission. You're already asleep, but he can't wait any longer— he needs you now.
Haunted by targaryenvampireslayer | ⁂ , ☢
Summary: Bucky was taken from you by Hydra a year ago. You mourn him and miss him, until you start dreaming of him…until he starts coming back to you
Holding on by joey-marvel14 | ☢, ☀
Summary: you notice Bucky is been more quiet then usual. He’s not talking to anyone, not even you. Bucky becomes withdrawn, his eyes are more puffy and sleep deprived, you notice he’s not eating as much either.
My everything by mrsbarnesblog | ☢, ☀
Summary: The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before.
Praise Kink by bucknastysbabe | ⁂ , ☢
I want to know who I'm looking at by world-of-aus | ⁂ metal arm kink fr by buckyalpine | ⁂ This Can't Go On Forever by vonalyn | ☢
Bucky's sweet treats by nicoline1998enilocin | ☀
Summary: Bucky has always enjoyed your baked goods and other sweet treats, so when you start leaving them for him to find when he comes back from missions, he can't help but smile like an idiot every times he sees you, or one of your treats.
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Rebound by adrinktostopyourthirst | ☢, ⁂, ☀
Summary: You lose your last tether to the normal world and Bucky has to make a decision. You’re officially part of the Underground. Does he help you, or not?
in losing grip, on sinking ships by mellowsaturns | ☢
Summary: when the avengers pick up unusual activity, they realize that not all of hydra was destroyed. one unidentifiable face sends the team into a frenzy but bucky knows it. he could recognize those eyes anywhere.
Your Mission by mrsbuckybarnes1917 | ⁂
You're a HYDRA asset tasked with tracking down and recovering a lost soldier: Bucky Barnes. Story takes place between CA: WS and CA: CW.
Reset - Masterlist by lunarbuck | ☢, ⁂
Summary: The government has fallen, Hydra has taken over. You were an agent of SHIELD long before the reign of terror began, and became a member of the resistance when they needed you most. Everything changes when the Winter Soldier captures you from your safe house.
Slaughter - Masterlist by lunarbuck | ☢, ⁂
Summary: The Winter Soldier takes what he wants
The Bride of Soldat: Masterlist by vampy-doll | ☢, ⁂
Summary: In the summer of 1986, a young woman goes missing whenever HYDRA kidnaps her to be their next experiment for the reward of their Soldat. Now, post blip, Bucky starts to remember defining details of his love, his match made in hell, and is determined to find her. But after years of isolation and torture after his escape, she isn’t who he remembers. Now they’re trying to piece together who she was pre-HYDRA to teach her how to live, without his undying love and obsession of her getting in the way. But when one head is cut off, two more shall grow in its place, leaving them to discover those behind her abduction.
Soldiers by thefallennightmare | ☢, ☀, ⁂
Summary: Reader has spent the last seventy years in hell as a prisoner soldier; Hydra's greatest weapon. Well, second greatest weapon after The Winter Soldier. The only thing that got her through that hell was him, even if she was the one behind his biggest pain.
Please don’t take him (even though you can) by hansensgirl | ☢
Summary: She can have anyone she wants, but you can never love again. Not without him.
Miss Velvet Masterlist by missvelvetsstuff | ☢, ⁂, ☀
Summary: Y/N is a disabled equestrian and therapeutic riding instructor who helps Tony Stark with his PTSD after returning from Titan. When the Avengers bring everyone back he hires her to work with Avengers and SHIELD hires her as therapist and teaching basic riding skills because you never know when a horse will be the best mode of transportation.
Going Under by beefromanoff | ☢, ☀
Summary: As a wildly famous singer's safety is called into question, Bucky Barnes is assigned to act as her personal security. over the course of the tour, their relationship evolves from professional into something more. when disaster strikes, Bucky is the one waiting to avenge her.
Kiss Me If You Can by deliciousangelfestival
Summary: Bucky, a stern lieutenant, discovers that his first love has become a famous phantom thief, sparking a thrilling cat-and-mouse chase with a romantic twist as he can't bear to see her imprisoned but prefers to keep her close.
deadly nightshade masterlist by kinanabinks | ☢, ⁂
Summary: as an upcoming agent, it is your job to remain professional and appropriate with your colleagues, and especially your seniors. but there's something about bucky barnes you can't seem to shake - as long as his girlfriend doesn't find out, it'll be fine. right?
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miley1442111 · 2 months
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hi, this is so random but can you do a story for bucky barnes from marvel? Like something angsty with him and reader being separated and she's a hydra agent but it's kind of just before infinity war. Like she was frozen too because she was a scientist and seen as a threat but also an asset and now she's like 'the new winter soldier' since he escaped hydra and she doesn't remember him, but then she does?
Thank you! 💓💓💓💓💓
thank you for submitting this, this inspired me to open up a marvel category!
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I'll always find you, doll.- b.barnes
a/n: this is a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)
summary: your mission to get a hard drive from the avengers compound can only go well, right?
pairing: buckybarnes x reader
warnings: general marvel topics, mind control, fighting, hospitals, reader being seen as 'dangerous', general angst.
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Everything was so loud. The gunshots, the punches being thrown at you and the ones you were throwing back. You were fighting a teenager in a spider-suit. Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew that was wrong, but you couldn’t even access the memory of your name. Only your orders remained. Get the hard drive.
You had fought your way through Agent Romanoff, Spider-boy, Agent Rhodes, Bird-man, and Bug-man. Next up was Stark and Captain America. The others were either dead or unconscious. 
“You don’t have to do this, let us help you,” the Captain spoke, his shield at the ready. 
“And why would I do that?” You asked, taking your knife from the holster on your waist.
“Because we have Barnes,” Stark cut in. 
“Who the hell is ‘Barnes’?” You spoke, then threw the knife. It hit the Captain before he could dodge and it lodged itself in his arm. He let out a groan of pain and pulled it out, ready to fight again. Stark relied on his suit and attempted blasting you, but you were too quick, jumping out of the way. 
After a long back and forth between you and the two men, Stark got close enough to drug you, and everything went black.
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You woke up in a hospital bed with no recollection on how you got there. You rattled against the chains that held your hands, screaming for anyone. After a few hours of yelling, you realised no one was coming, and your body let itself sleep again.
You woke up again, to someone outside your room. 
“You have to let me see her!” A male voice. 
“No way Barnes,” Stark sighed. “She’s too dangerous like this. You’ll either set her off or make her angry-”
“She knows me,” Barnes shot back, cutting Stark off. 
“Oh, you mean the woman who flat out asked who the hell you were, that woman knows you?” Stark snarled. "we have bigger things to deal with, Thanos is coming!"
You stifled a groan at the throbbing pain in your muscles. You clearly had no medication, no IV, nothing.
“I'm well-aware of our current situation Tony. I'm also aware that some part of her knows me!” Barnes argued. “Just… let me see her, please. Even if she’s asleep. Please Tony, she’s my wife.”
Who the fuck was he talking about? 
Reich, Händler, Kohle, Regel, Atmosphäre, Markieren, Strafverfolgung, Haltung, Überfall, allmählich. 
Rich, dealer, coal, rule, atmosphere, mark, law enforcement, attitude, raid, gradually.
They played in your head like a pulsing mantra. You had never been one for speaking Russian, so you had German words. You hated the people that did this to you. The people that tortured you, the people that wiped your memories, the people that broke you. 
“Bucky, you’re going to end up killing yourself over this, don’t bother with her.”
Bucky. Your Bucky. 
Your Bucky was behind that door. Your husband. The man you loved so dearly before you were taken by Hydra. 
“Buck?!” you shouted, clarity pushing the fog in your brain away. You broke through your chains, the strength of the serum making it easy. “Bucky!” You screamed again, trying to get the door open. 
“Y/N?! Doll?!” He shouted back, opening the door. You launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms and legs around his torso in an all-consuming hug. “I thought you were dead,” he whispered into your neck as he hugged you. 
“I thought you’d never find me,” you sobbed into his neck. 
“I’ll always find you, doll,” he promised, holding you tighter. You pulled back a bit, tilting his head so you could kiss him. For the first time in 60 years, you kissed your husband. It felt good. His lips felt the same as they did on your wedding day. Yes, it was a quick wedding in a courthouse in 1942. Yes, most people thought that you were pregnant, or you were using him for army benefits. But none of it was true. You adored each other. You just couldn’t wait. You were so in love with each other.
“I love you,” you grinned against his lips, the kiss tasting of salty tears, though neither of you cared. 
“I love you too.”
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deadpool15 · 6 months
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Overshadowed Ch.1
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"Hey, look at me. I don't expect you to the most perfect fucking man. There is no such thing. You have scars from the stuff you've been through. It's understandable. I understand you, si-o. I don't want you to change your plans or anything unless you truly want that. I won't expect anything from you except to be honest with me." I slowly clasp my hands upon his face, holding him with my gentle touch to let him know I wouldn't hurt him. After all he has been through, I want him to know I'm the last person who would want to hurt him. "I want you to trust me, I know I must earn your trust, and I will do everything in my power to show you how much I care for you. No more pain, ok? I'm not leaving."
I needed him. For the first time in my life, I had felt like I was wanted, loved. This feeling couldn't be replaced by anything my mother had gifted me over the years to make up for her lack of parenting. Though, I knew si-o had never felt such love either. He was used to pain and resentment. I wanted to be the one who showed him there was more to life than those things. I didn't want to change him. Sure, he had flaws and issues, but I wanted to embrace all of them. They were a part of him, making him who he is today. My father once told me he adorned the villains in fairy tales. Younger me had questioned that for a long time, though know I see it. A hero would sacrifice you for the sake of the world as if you meant nothing. One casualty means nothing compared to thousands, yet a villain would sacrifice the entire world for you. Thinking more about it, why was the villain deemed bad in reality? The hero was selfish, thinking one could have it all with no consequences.
Imagine someone's love for you to be so passionate and devoted that they would sacrifice everything for you without a second thought. I had never seen a love story in real life. My parents went divorced because my mother prioritized work over her family and because my older sister had gone missing in a foreign country. They made it seem like their love died, though I always felt like my father held more love for my mother. My mother cared for nothing but money and having a daughter. She had two, one that possessed the strength of the many generations before her, then there was me. I was adopted at age 2. I can't remember a thing about my biological parents, but I had an amazing relationship with my father. He was the one who loved all of his children equally despite only the three of us having superpowers. In my mother's eyes there was only nam-soon.
Completely neglected by her my entire life. I was invisible, one would say. Whenever she missed a dance rehearsal or important event in my life, she loved to buy gifts. Overly priced gifts, hoping it would make 4 year old me forget that mommy hadn't bothered to show up again because of work. Money was everything to her, and I wasn't. I grew envious of my sister. Of course, I missed her while she was gone, but would it be an evil thing to say a small sick part of me was happy, thinking mother would have no choice but to pay attention to me. I was wrong. Nam-soon this, nam-soon that. Hosting strength competitions and constantly fixing her favorite dishes at dinner. I hated myself, why couldn't I be happy she was back? Why was I so jealous of her? And why can't I make my mom love me?
When I met si-o, all that changed. I had shown up to give nam-soon her lunch for the day. She had been undercover working with some cop she liked, and it was obvious he liked her as well. Now no one in the public knew of me, after nam-soon went missing our parents thought it would be best to shield the world from us. I was known as the spoiled rich daughter of some famous ceo. No one bothered to ask who? I stumbled upon this man, taller than me. Bumping into his chest, which was as far as my head could reach, even in heels. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I wanted him to be mine.
Chapter 1: Overshadowed
Chapter 2: To be loved
Chapter 3: You and me
Chapter 4: Second place
Chapter 5: Love is hard
Chapter 6: No matter what
Baily Bass(oc)- Danny
Byeonwooseok-Ryu-si
Other characters are their respective characters.
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luv4fandoms · 1 year
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D'you ever just like.... Binge read an entire blog and start uglysobbing. Because that's me with your works.
The fact that you write for Dwayne (Lost Boys) legit had me weak. I have been in love with this mofo since I was like 14 (and I'm 27 now, so if that's not dedication idek what is) and you... FED ME. And your take on Dwayne is legit how I imagined him, like isn't it just fantastic when you read a fanfic that just makes your brain go "DING DING DING DING JACKPOT" that's me with your Dwayne content, I wanna cry.
If I may, but like please ignore this suggestion if it doesn't inspire you ... I am short af, like 4'11"(1.50m) kinda short, and I am kinda curious... How would Dwayne feel about that? Like how would he act around a very short partner? Is he the teasing type, the protective type, the "ur adorable" type... Does he have a size kink? Would he develop one? ;v;
Again, please just ignore this part of my message if you don't feel inspired by this little suggestion/idea/thing!
And plz keep posting your stuff because your blog legit helped me get out of a very nasty depressive episode and I cannot thank you enough for this!
First off let me just say that I am so freaking honored! Like holy crap! Dwayne the one boy I struggled to write when I first started writing about them, and to hear someone say that I nailed him perfectly to how they imagined him is just 🥹🥹. I'm also so glad that my stories helped you out of your depressive episode. As someone who has them herself I always wanna be able to help others through theres.❤️
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Now on to the ask! (Never written a short reader before because I myself am 5'7-5'8 but I'mma try lol)
Warning: HINTS AT SMUT AT THE END
Dwayne is all three types when it comes to his shorter s/o. He's protective upon meeting you because in his mind, your height makes you more vulnerable to things, even if you are a little spitfire (like Marko) in his mind he still needs to use his own height to protect you. He will be your sword AND shield so you don't need to worry.
He also finds you absolutely adorable, especially when you have to ask him for help to reach stuff, it's no secret amongst the boys that Dwayne loves to be needed, it's like a drug to him, so that being said, he will be a cheeky shit at times and put stuff he knows you'll want, higher up so you have to come to him, with that adorable pout and ask in the sweetest voice.
"Dwayne can you help me?"
Cause you don't even know that you already have him wrapped around your finger.
He won't start teasing until you're a little ways into the relationship. It starts with little things, asking in a teasing voice "need something baby?" Other times it's "it's so cute when you stand on your tiptoes to kiss me. On more than one occasion he has easily lifted you up so you are at eye level with him, smiling that teasing smile and saying "there, isn't this easier baby? No need to strain your neck".
He loves how when you're out on the boardwalk he can wrap you in his arms, chin resting atop your head and feel like he is totally shielding you. How your body fitting so snuggly in his arms.
He never thought he had a size kink until he met you, but he soon realized he was wrong. The way his hand will totally eclipse yours when he holds them, how he can easily cup your cheeks and pull you close, his lips bruising your smaller ones. How easily you fit into his lap, either just relaxing so he can read to you, or during...other times.
That was another area his newly found kink came in. Seeing you taking him every time has his head reeling because he honestly is shocked when you take him. It always leaves him gasping and groaning, eyes locked on where you're joined, unable to look away.
Overall Dwayne will absolutely cherish you! Because you are his Princess/Prince and he would do absolutely anything for you ❤️
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a-dragons-journal · 10 months
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On Questioning An Archetrope
So I'm turning over the concept of a potential paladin (or something similar) archetrope in my brain now.
I have... kind of always viewed myself as a guardian. I've been the Mom-friend, the one people go to for advice, for practically as long as I can remember. I have a protective streak a mile wide, partly due to my territorial instincts from my dragonself. I don't really want to talk about it publicly, but suffice to say that growing up I had what I would now, for lack of better words, call a rich imagined reality wherein I (and my few closest friends, though I hung onto it the longest) was a capital-G Guardian, a hero of blade and armor, a protector of the world.
Later on, in high school, those same friends and I took on a more realistic protective streak, primarily in the form of a habit of adopting girls who a) had just been through bad breakups and/or b) were being harassed/stalked by creepy boys and literally bodyguarding them throughout the day. I still fantasize about scenarios where I get to protect people, often strangers, on a regular basis, for no real reason other than it makes me feel good. I want to be that. I want to be a protector, a shield and sword for those who need it.
My first D&D character was a paladin, and a fairly stereotypical one (although not fully Lawful Stupid). Shail is a tiefling who was abandoned at a temple doorstep as a baby after they were born, raised by one of the priests as their father, and later took up arms after being inspired by a visiting paladin and took the Oath of Devotion. They were my first experiment with they/them pronouns. I am realizing their choice of class may also have been a bit of projection.
I don't know how much of this is inherent to me and how much is something I chose and how much is something I want to choose.
A brief tangent: it so happens that I very recently saw the musical Man of La Mancha, which is based on Don Quixote. While I was vaguely familiar with the story of Don Quixote, I'd never actually read or seen it in full in any form until now. I did not expect to be as touched by it as I was. Don Quixote is... for all we often make fun of him for the windmill incident, ultimately I think Don Quixote is someone we could all stand to learn from, and perhaps even to aspire to. To stubbornly, doggedly, adamantly adhere to honor and justice and a view of the world where good prevails in the end, to fight for what's right no matter the odds, to swear yourself to these things despite the way the rest of the world laughs at you - perhaps the world would be a better place if more of us were Don Quixote in this.
"A quest?" "How you must fight? And it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, if only you follow the quest."
"To dream the impossible dream. To fight the unbeatable foe. To bear with unbearable sorrow. To run where the brave dare not go. To right the unrightable wrong. To love pure and chaste from afar. To try when your arms are too weary. To reach the unreachable star."
Perhaps the recency of this exposure to Don Quixote, and my thoughts and feelings about it and about him as a character, is influencing how I'm reacting to the exposure to archetropy. Or perhaps my reaction to Man of La Mancha is indicative of my resonance with Don Quixote as someone I would argue has an archetropal identity (if of the Knight Errant rather than of the Paladin, though the two really aren't that different) himself. Perhaps both.
Either way, I think it's an admirable thing to take up such a mantle in the face of the world's cruelties - to take up the Guardian's armor and sword again, illogical as it may be, and to aspire to such a lofty ideal as this despite the way the world may consider it foolish or daft.
(And there I go getting poetic prose-y again. Perhaps that's also part of why the paladin archetype appeals to me, ha. I have been known to monologue.)
Even my job can be argued to fall into the paladin - a healer, a helper, a servant who at least tries to value The Good Of The Patient above all else. it's not quite a guardian role - but then, a paladin is often a healer as well.
On top of all of that, there's the fact that when I, out of curiosity and experimentation, put a major problem of indecision I've been facing regarding my current job hunt through the lens of "what would a paladin do," it immediately answered the question with "wouldn't let the difficulty of the task scare them off." Which didn't completely solve my problem, but solves a good solid chunk of it.
So it appears that this may be a helpful tool for me. Even if the thought of "what would Xenk Yendar do" is a slightly silly one. (And yes, Xenk Yendar is an extremely good representation of what paladin looks like to me - and perhaps it's telling that I really latched onto him as a character almost instantly upon watching Honor Among Thieves.)
Perhaps my one big hesitance to latch onto the paladin archetype is the religious connotation of a paladin - while I suppose my relationship with Asclepius could qualify, under the "paladins are also often healers" thought, Asclepius does not cover most of what draws me to the paladin archetype. But a paladin doesn't always have to be religious; in D&D paladins technically draw their power from their oath, Xenk Yendar comes up as an example of a paladin who doesn't obviously seem to have a particular god, and besides none of the alternative archetypes I'm finding or coming up with fit quite as well. The Knight Errant is close, but requires wandering in a way I am thoroughly uncomfortable with (I am still a territorial beast at heart) and also implies seeking evil rather than defending from it.
So... perhaps that's not as big a block as one might think. I'm going to chew on this a while longer, and I'm certainly open to suggestions on similar archetypes for my consideration, but... I might have tripped into a new alterhuman identity. Oops.
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50calmadeuce · 5 months
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Ch. 7: Funeral
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.
The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.
I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.
These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)
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You were dressed in a modest black sheath dress paired with elegant black heels. Your hair was artfully half-pinned up, and you shielded your crystal-blue eyes behind a pair of sunglasses as you stood solemnly at the funeral, which unfolded at the family plot in the south field. By your side, Sean offered his support. As you observed, you saw Jake and his family approach. Gazing at him from behind your sunglasses, you couldn't help but notice the tension in his jaw and the deliberate avoidance of looking your way.
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You began wearing the engagement ring after Sean understood your reluctance, knowing you didn't want to risk damaging it while working on the farm.
Father Jacob approached you with a warm smile. "Y/N, it's truly wonderful to see you. It's been quite some time."
"It has, Father," you replied.
He glanced to your right. "And who is this?"
Sean extended his hand. "I'm Sean Fisk, Y/N's fiancé."
Father Jacob's eyebrows lifted in mild surprise as he shook Sean's hand. "Oh," he said and turned back to you. "Y/N. My deepest condolences for you. Your mother was a lovely woman."
"Thank you, Father."
He placed a hand on on your arm. "If you need anything. I'm here."
"Again, thank you, Father."
Father Jacob smiled warmly. "Let's get started, shall we?"
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Griff had prepared a splendid buffet for after the funeral, and the house was bustling with people your mother had known. As you selected some vegetables for your plate, a sudden grip on your arm caught you off guard. You turned to find yourself locking eyes with Jake's sister, Leslie.
"Pantry, now," she hissed, her anger palpable as she briskly pulled you into the walk-in pantry and shut the door behind you. She released your arm and fixed you with an intense stare. "Y/N! What the fuck?"
"What?" you feigned innocence.
She pointed a finger at you. "Don't fuck with me! First of all, who's the handsome blond?"
"That would be Sean, my fiancé," you respond as you pick up a carrot from your plate, dip it in some dill dip, and take a bite.
"Since when?"
"About a month ago."
"I take it you didn't learn from Ben a few years ago, huh?"
You looked at her. "He wanted to move."
"He got stationed somewhere else for the Coast Guard. He didn't have a choice."
You continued to eat your carrot.
Leslie rolled her eyes. "And what about Jake?"
"What about him?"
"Good grief, Y/N. Sometimes you can be so oblivious."
"What?"
"Jake is still in love with you. He always has been."
You stared at her, utterly taken aback.
"He never got over what happened. He joined the Navy to prove your dad wrong. That he was and is good enough for you. Why else do you think he turned into an even bigger arrogant jerk than he already was? Like he had something to prove. You're the only one who grounds him. Everyone knows that except for you."
You stood there dumbfounded as the pantry door creaked open, and James entered. "The moment I didn't spot Leslie, I figured," he remarked to both of you, then directed his gaze at you. "Your fiancé is on the lookout for you."
You let out a resigned sigh, glancing up at the ceiling. "Of course he is." You looked back at Leslie. "Where's Jake?"
"Sweety, he left."
"What do you mean he left?"
"He's a pilot. He has his own plane. He left after the funeral."
You sighed again. "Let me get through this funeral first, and then we'll talk later."
"Got it."
You glanced at James. "I better go find my fiancé." You turned and headed towards the pantry door, opening it and stepping out.
James turned to Leslie. "Do you think she'll go through with it this time?"
"She better, because these two are driving me insane. Especially when he comes home searching for her."
"Ten years is more than enough."
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kanene-yaaay-o-retorno · 11 months
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The way that I can't stop thinking about the song Skies Forever Blue but with the eggs from qsmp...
Like, the song probably is about romance and stuff but gosh it is also about having your entire world changed because of someone, of spending your time with them knowing at every second that you're both fated to get separated, is to fight against the destiny on your own, in little ways that matter, is to enjoy and love and cry and hurt all at once and it's so beautifullll
It's just so bittersweet and magnificent and I am in a qsmp roll lately so for me it fits so well! The way that when everyone received their eggs, their sons and daughters, to take care of they weren't taking it so seriously and it was not that big of deal because, well, ya know, eggs.... but they had quests that needed to be done for them to not die and get happy and at the end when the dragon comes back there will be a huge prize for the ones that kept them safe and sound so yeah
Then they by day things get a bit more complicated than that. Day by day, they weren't simply eggs anymore, they were little companionships that followed you around and went to adventures and chatted with you and had nice ideas so suddenly you're building a reinforced room to keep them safe because they *only have two lifes* and now you realize how little that is. The room soon becomes a nice house that you both decorate together. You sing them a lullaby everytime before they go to sleep. You tell them stories. They jump and play flutes when they are happy and do their little tantrums when they're annoyed. They like to get on your nerves and leave presents and sweet words when you least expect it. You explore dungeons together. You prepare little picnics and watch the sunset everyday.
They are now your kid. They have the name you have choosen. They have a house on your heart and you mind. They are being constantly attacked by monsters that you can't defeat permanently in an island that you can't escape from. You don’t want to escape alone anymore. You have nightmares of them dying. They love you so much. There is no secrets between the two of you. You accepted that if they are spies then you would go down for them. They are family. They only have two lifes. They still jump in front of the danger to save you. You are imortal. You would do anything for them. In the end they will always be taken away.
So aaaaa! Incoherent noises! Skies forever blue!!!! Every single time I listen to that part of the song that is like "Ever since the day, we met a parcel of my mind's lost to you" I can only think about the day that Philza logged like 3am on the server to take care of Chayanne or when the players mentioned having real nightmares of their eggs getting hurt or how Forever created and built an entire system of protection so no one else would ever go thru the pain of losing their egg ever again.
Or or the part that is "Long as all the words you say are going straight to me, I'm enthralled ". I can perfectly picture Fit having flashbacks of those years he spent in that world of devastation and being brought to the reality by Ramon, his beautiful baby boy that makes his entire life worth it
I imagine Tallulah hugging and crying and showing Willbur all the letters she wrote while he was away at the part of "How you do and where you been and why you never call, say it all"
And aaaa there is so much more! Dapper and Bbh spending literal hours planning and building together and Richarlyson being a lil brat with his parents but loving them with his entire heart. Etoliess teaching Pomme how to fight and Baghera shielding her on the first day right after they met because she was in a corner scared. Vegetta and Foolish building a freaking mansion and train because Leonarda asked them for one....
And that is not even getting into how they behave w each other! Forever crying after visiting Tallulah's house, Bbh fighting in that dungeon and screaming for Richarlyson to stay back, to go home and be safe. Cellbit and Pomme always exchanging a different kind of flower when they see each other, Cellbit and Richas building a Coffe shop in homage for Bobby, Jaiden showing her secret house to Cellbit and Richas where she used to watch the sunset with Roier and Bobby. Roier and Leonarda getting into siblings fights. Foolish always teasing all the eggs everytime they see them. Felps pretending to be Richas and Richas pretending to be him. Philza protecting all the eggs that were left in his care when their parents went to explore the train. Baghera calling Bbh "bebbou" and making a room for Pomme in Cellbit's castle. Pac and Mike creating an entire room for hide and seek. Max and bbh creating more and more theories about how to escape from the island and destroy the federation. Chayanne being so protective of Tallulah. Dapper showing all his siblings how to build things they needed to complete his quests. Quackity calling Richas "mi hijo" and being sweet and spending time w him and saying "I love you more than the 1% of the parenthood I have over u". Dapper and bbh singing Happy Birthday for the eggs that have gone away. Everyone giving armor and everything else to Slime/Gegg so he wouldn’t be alone an unprotected. Baghera making an entire lullaby just for Pomme and each of them scheduling playdates w each other....
Every single time they call them MY son MI HIJA, MEU filho (idk how u say that in french :( ) like really??? That what you've all decided to do today?? To make me cry???
I just have a lot of feelings about qsmp man
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oluka · 1 year
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I like to read your thoughts on IM comics. What were your thoughts on invincible iron man #6, i am ironman #3 and avengers (2023) #1
Hi anon! I'll gladly give you my thoughts.
Invincible Iron Man #6:
This run stays good, and has been consistently good for 6 issues now, which gives me hope that it will stay that good for the rest of it. I liked seeing 80s Tony, and his run-in with Emma was a fun and believable retcon. It does make me think that Emma and Tony being an item at some point in the future is likely, but at least Duggan builds it up, unlike Cantwell someone else. I think that even if the plot itself gets worse (which I don't really think it will), I will still enjoy this run because of the characterization. Look at these gems:
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There are so many characterization moments that just make sense, and it has been that way in every issue so far. I love it. I also love that all the call-backs to his past seem to serve a purpose, and to me it feels like Duggan really knows what he's talking about and not just making a surface-level reference. The blend of seriousness and humour that Duggan writes really works for me. I like that Tony has moments of self-reflection, I like how determined he is to stop Feilong. The mix of recklessness and calculation that Tony shows is peak Tony to me. He uses his brain, but his emotions run high. Yes!
Also there are always fun panels, like this one: insert meme caption [me when I write fanfiction at three a.m.]
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I Am Iron Man #3:
A touching issue. The start felt a bit weird and stilted to me, and I suspected that Tony was reciting lines/playacting. I was relieved when it turned out to be the case. The best part about this issue is the various Maria and Tony flashbacks. It made me a little emotional, to imagine that Tony's (only) best friend was his mother. They loved each other so much..... I am sad. This was my favourite panel:
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Tony and Maria working on a car together? chef's kiss.
Now, this might be a little bit of an unpopular opinion but I can't fully enjoy the I Am Iron Man series because I can't really get into the writing style and art style. But I almost always like the Tony characterization, the humour is fun, and I love the Tony-Rhodey friendship. Also, Ayodele and Akande LOVE Tony and that really shows through and it's so refreshing to read. As fellow Iron Man fans, I love that they're doing an Iron Man series.
My nitpicky thoughts about this issue: 1. The tombstone with "Tony's best friend" is touching but makes zero sense and I found it a little too on the nose. 2. Tony's armour and his facial hair do not match in the last panels. He had a goatee at the time.
I do think that I haven't really been able to get into the series because the execution of the story didn't really work for me. The themes are great, though. Next issue will take place during Director of Shield Tony, and I think it will make or break my general opinion of the run. I have a very specific interpretation of what Tony's headspace is like during that time.
Avengers #1:
(under a cut because this post is getting long and the issue came out last week)
Great start of the run. I really loved the Tony and Carol interaction, and that it reminded us that Tony and Carol are good friends and important to each other. Carol mentioning that Tony is her sponsor is so good. I liked how everyone was portrayed, it's very promising. Carol and her talk about the Avenger's purpose and what they do was amazing. MacKay's insistence that the Avengers are not cops, but people who fight every day to save lives, to save the world, is very welcome.
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I also really liked this:
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I think that MacKay knows what he's doing, and the voices and characterization of every character felt good to me. I'm excited that Tony is the Executive Officer of the Avengers, the number two. I think that this position is one where Tony has the potential to excel.
The interactions between team members were fun, too. No artificial hostility, a good deal of trust and familiarity, even some joking! I hope that MacKay will continue on this line of "the avengers are more than just co-workers". It's nice to have them be friends, even though there are tensions (between Sam and T'Challa for now). The plot itself seems interesting, but it's too early for me to form an opinion.
Thanks for reading! Have a soft Tony for the road:
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vintage-bentley · 10 months
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If David were giving "wait and see" style answers I'd have a bit more hope but he was talking to the Radio Times which is a reputable publication in the UK so I don't feel like he'd outright lie to them about the nature of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship.
To be honest, both he and Michael have been pretty clear on this being a ~secret background story~ or whatever, and have repeatedly said it's up for interpretation, and I'm worried everybody's doing another Johnlock where they ignore what the people involved are saying and have convinced themselves they're getting confirmation that will never come. The difference is this would be even WORSE because of the marketing campaign for season 2 and Neil's baity comments.
I honestly don't think Neil would be affected by this either because the second anybody expresses disappointment the asexuals in fandom are going to make it all about them and about how society ignores and invalidates their kind of love etc. I think he'll be successfully shielded. There will be pissed off people (especially olds like me who were book fans first and have lived through this shit a billion times) and I'm sure a huge part of the fandom will be quietly seething but we simply won't be allowed to call it bait because "Neil has always said it's a love story and therefore canon uwu" (even if it's plausibly deniable to homophobes and eludes the casual viewer 🙄).
I also think it's very telling that Neil only drew attention to the fake spoilers circulating when a post appeared saying the season was "500% gay" and that Az and Crowley had many romantic scenes. He has also said that while the marketing dept at Amazon clearly love the show he would've advised them to do things differently were he not on strike.
I know we've all been interpreting David and Michael's tight-lipped squirming when asked about a romantic subplot as an attempt not the give EVERYthing away, but it could also be that they know they're not going to deliver what the audience wants (including, apparently, every single interviewer on press day lol) so have been ordered not to say anything that sets themselves up.
IF all of this does turn out to be bait I am going to become a fic writer just to spite Neil lol. Trust I will be writing the smuttiest fic and finding the nastiest NSFW Ineffable Husbands art imaginable and it will be gay, gay, GAY 😂
I still HOPE we're getting what we want because I'm an optimistic fool. I'm just not sure it's guaranteed in the way the fandom thinks it is.
(btw if this doesn't go through anonymously please message me rather than publishing? Unfortunately I have co-workers and real life friends following me on my main 😬)
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Sorry anon I couldn’t help but publish these together, it’s very funny to me 😂
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Now, I know you’ve done a complete turnaround, but I do see where you were coming from with your first ask. It’s fun to imagine that the squirmy tight-lipped attitude is them doing their best not to spoil…but it’s sadly true that it could also be them feeling like they’re walking in a minefield, knowing that fans are anticipating something they didn’t deliver.
And I agree with you about fan reception to Neil. Like I’ve said before, spicy straights thinking they can call themselves “queer” has been absolutely disastrous to our ability to talk about queerbaiting. Because that term is really supposed to mean gaybaiting. It refers to the specific trend of shows teasing a gay relationship to get viewers hooked, but never taking it anywhere to ensure they don’t loose the viewership of homophobes. But now since everyone and their mother calls themselves “queer”, they seem to think the term queerbaiting applies to them, too. Which has led us to the point where people say “actually this show isn’t queerbaiting, because they don’t show physical affection which is aro/ace representation! Not everything has to be gay!” (In other words, “this show is gaybaiting but I’m happy about that so you can’t get upset about it”).
So, even if the show ends up being perfect textbook queerbait…we can’t say that, because of how the term has been appropriated. And we’ll have to deal with spicy straights whining about how they’re oppressed by gays wanting representation.
But as I’ve said before, I’m very optimistic about it not being bait! Let’s hope we’re right!
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matchademi · 9 months
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5, 9, 21, 23, 25 Falls, Tic, and Sooool plssss vod’ikaaaa 💙💙💙 (no rush tho)
How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
Falls:he is so selfless that he would happily give up his own life for his brothers. He has, on a few occasions, given his own blood to brothers while working to keep them alive. He is gotten scolded by his brothers in the 501st and the Corrie guard for this, but he doesn't care
Tic: If he could tear apart the galaxy together his old battalion back he would in a heart beat, he would be considered a deserter risk when he first joined the Corrie guard
Sol: he would happily volunteer himself for decommissioning if it meant he could stop it from happening permanently. He would never tell anyone this but he has threated to several times
Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?
Falls:pretty much the entire song, but this line specifically
"Called to the Devil and the Devil said
Hey! Why you been calling this late?
It's like 2 A.M. and the bars all close at 10 in hell, that's a rule I made
Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself
And you don't want no help, oh well
That's the story to tell"
Tic: This makes me think of his grief of losing his battalion
"But i know wounds will heal
But it's hard for me to tell what's fake and what's real
Sometimes i even think that i died that day
And i'm imagining my life and it's stuck on replay"
Sol:we all know the song I think about for him, but it's this line specifically
"I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringin'
Roman Cavalry choirs are singin'
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason, I can't explain
Once you'd gone, there was never, never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world"
Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?
Fall:As I said, he gets really bad migraines after removing his chip, but honestly, his biggest issue is his ADHD. He has the inattentive type, so he'll either not do anything for hours or spend days hyper focusing on something
Tic:he deals with tics (not like tourettes but just small tics. I deal with them a lot), and after losing his battalion, he ended up with a trauma induced stutter, and his tics get worse
Sol:Not so many illnesses or disorders, but his knee injury really starts to get worse as time goes on. After he left Kamino, he would need crunches and a leg bracefor years. He hates it but if he trys to go without them he gets screamed at
What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?
Honestly, for me, this is a one answer fits all (plus I spent like 10 minutes looking at lists of emotions, but I'm autistic so I don't really understand them oop) and that is feeling safe (idk if that's a emotion but let's all roll with it) they have all gone through their own personal hells and so feeling safe is not easy for any of them. Tic is the most obvious after losing his battalion he will for a long time feel like he will lose everyone he cares for again after joining the corrie guards. Falls has had to always look over his shoulder and be one of the best to avoid decommissioning. And Sol never fully released he felt so unsafe on Kamino till he left
What is your favorite thing about your OC?
Falls:he was my first clone oc in this Fandom, and he allowed me to connect to a lot of other people. Also, his kindness and willingness to help others, even if it's out of his comfort zone
Tic:he is me in a lot of ways with the stuttering and ticking, and it's nice to have a character to show that part of me
Sol:he is just pure sunshine (also, he shows now love for kids, especially my nephews )
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istanbulite · 2 years
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Lately I've been thinking about Reiner as he's almost on par with Alain for me... tbh I always wanted them to be the lord and lady of the human domain w the MC... maybe bc a big kingdom is harder to imagine but also like... I dont see how those very different species would bow to one ruler,,, either way I love that all of them stay together in this story except Alain ;-; its my favourite in terms of that bc it connects them all, and I feel like Reiner needs the MC more then the others... in all other routes he seems so alone...
In my version, there will be civil war after and they'll all rule their own lands... I'm also thinking Erin (my MC) is pregnant then and she's still going to battle much to everyone's concern bc of course she does, she has this on;
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I also always thought she also wields a sword bc using just a shield looks weird tbh.
She'll have twins ~ also as a queen and later Lady she's very friendly and casual, always hanging around w people and talking w them - like Alistair from Dragon Age if you make him a king. Peoples leader in a way (as much as monarchy can) and this is one point they argue over with Reiner bc he keeps worrying about her and kinda if he's too dull for her... since it comes up twice in story i think Reiner is sort of the jealous type ofc he d never pressure her but he's insecure when it comes to her
Another... He's amused by the fact her name - Erin if u swap the first 2 letters is the first part of his name. Reiner. they are meant to be your honor
So Reiner's horse is called Bucephalus, Erin's mare is Roxana (for this to make sense Reiner's horse should've been called Alexander but *sigh* I couldn't find Roxana's horse's name... women can't win smh) --- a late wedding gift by Reiner :))
After she got pregnant Reiner kinda lost it tbh... He needed some time to settle down bc he's SO excited and too protective of Erin like oh no don't walk I'll carry you!!! later he's too afraid of losing her during the birth he almost begs they leave to Earth so its safer but thankfully could be talked down from it (barely)
Obv MC is the Mom now. But i also think August developing a crush bc u know... the knight and lady thing. its a classic.
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kittimau · 1 year
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1/2 christmas holidays were actually invented so i could reread all your fics. also this may be a sort of spoilery ask so you can ignore this if you want, but in troubled water after their kiss does anakin keep his shields high all the time from their on out? and how does obi-wan feel about that? idk why but guilty obi-wan is so delicious. why do i like when he suffers??? also this moment here: "Glancing up from his master’s tempting lap, he finds Obi-Wan staring at him oddly. Eyes glazed and
This is awesome to hear 🥹 I'm sorry Tumblr lost the second message! But I will try to answer you as best I can.
The way I imagined things after that night is Anakin shut Obi-Wan out for the time being but not permanently. When he sensed all of Obi-Wan’s negative emotions, he assumed they were directed toward him. So he keeps a tighter reign on things from that point forward, because he doesn't want to give away his feelings or reveal how affected he was and that he continues to think about it.
Obi-Wan absolutely notices the shift in their relationship. He’s tormented by the feelings that night stirred within him, and by his behavior, and deep down he knows it’s the cause of the sudden distance between them. In his mind, he violated a significant boundary. He doesn't know how he can possibly walk it back, but part of him also doesn't want to now that he’s beginning to see Anakin in a new light. And so he dwells on it in the way Obi-Wan always does—by meditating, self-flagellating, and avoiding the subject.
The scene you brought up at the end shows a little of Obi-Wan's struggle. First of all, Anakin is a snack. He somehow does not realize this. But there he is, all splayed out like an invitation, and yeah, Obi-Wan is kind of a mess about it. Cut the man some slack okay, he has a lot of pent up... Energy. 😂
(Also, although we haven’t gotten Obi-Wan’s opinion on it via POV or conversation (yet) I will say the kiss isn’t the only thing causing tension between them, Anakin’s pending knighthood is yet another contentious subject they'll have to navigate eventually. In true idiots in love fashion.)
Anyway, I'm with family rn and a bit tipsy but wanted to take a minute and answer this before New Year’s! Thank you so much for your message. I always love talking about TW, it's a story close to my heart and every time someone tells me they're rereading it, or their favorite parts, I feel so energized. I can't wait to give y'all more!
Hope you had a wonderful holiday,
and Happy New Year! 🥂
- mau
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lindajenni · 4 months
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jan 24
are you shoeless
"and I have led you forty years in the wilderness.  your clothes have not worn out on you, and your sandals have not worn out on your feet." deut 29:5 God provides!  sometimes naturally and sometimes in the supernatural.  if there really is a need and we cling tight and claim His promises, He will work it out.  He will get it done in your ministry just like He will get it done in you.  there was a popular movie awhile back starring kevin costner entitle. "field of dreams."  (i'm not pushing or suggesting that movie, just referring.)  there was a character it it called "shoeless joe jackson." i have a question i want to ask you.  are you shoeless?  ephesians (towards the end of chapter six) teaches us about the whole armor of God.  our foot covering is just one, but a necessary part of that armor. have your girded your waist with truth put on the breastplate of righteousnesshave your feet shod with the preparation of the gospelthe shield of faiththe helmet of salvationthe sword of the Spirit each element is a necessary part of our armor if we are to be victorious in this spiritual battle.  can you visualize a roman soldier all trying to chase down the enemy in bare feet.  can't you imagine the rocks and splinters and such that would slow him down?  how about without his shield or his sword? our heavenly Father has provided us with all the gear we need for the battle.  we just have to put it on.  i could have picked out any of the gear but i thought it cute to relate it to a character in a movie. there have surely been difficult times for christians since christianity was birthed.  there have been difficult times for the righteous and the unrighteous alike.  so well you might ask what is the difference?  the difference is the grace we face them with. i remember a story corrie ten boom told.  she was on an airplane that encountered engine trouble and it looked like it was going to go down.  fortunately it didn't, but as miss ten boom was reflecting on the matter, the enemy tried to convict her because she did not immediately stand up and preach salvation to everyone. as she was feeling inadequate, a person close by remarked that had seen such peace on her countenance during the incident and they wanted to know why.  here was her opportunity to witness to the grace and peace she carried within. that's something deniers of God and believers in a false god can never have.  i think of a stanza from a song.  "blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.  oh what a foretaste of glory divine."  believers have that foretaste. "whom having not seen you love.  though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory." 1 pet 1:8  i do not know of any other religion that can give one that kind of peace.
we may not always have the obvious victory in this life.  that's because our weapon is love and not carnal.  you've heard of the phrase, "killing them with kindness?"  we've added love to the mix; love and forgiveness.  Jesus forgave His executioners from the cross as our example. we can win some mighty battles in the spirit realm, but flesh and blood await God's judgment.  until then, "let the peace of God rule in your hearts." col 3:15  and for heaven's sake - get dressed. from the bill gaither hymn - because He lives, i can face tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone.  "peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." john 14:27  maranatha - our Lord cometh!
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