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#The Road Goes Ever On and On series
ehlnofay · 5 months
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It’s not until she hears Sissel’s knees hit the floor that Efri is jolted back into her body.
She blinks, whipping her head around. Sissel is kneeling, bracing a palm on the ancient stone pavement, at the barrier – no, the barrier’s gone, it’s just Sissel on the floor. She lifts her head and meets Efri’s eyes; her hair is wispy and wild, the little plaits meant to keep it neat come loose and tumbling, her eyes wide. The barrier's gone, but still, her pale face is lit up blue.
“Are you okay?” she asks. She doesn’t speak loudly, but it echoes in the great stone chamber.
Nine, Efri doesn’t know.
She blinks again, looks down at her hands, clinging to the metal stick so fiercely that her joints ache. (Her own stick, her nice wooden one, is still on the floor somewhere, where it slipped out of her grasp when she hit the wall.) The lumpy heavy end of it, the clobbering end, is still resting on –
Not on. It’s in the thing’s head, fitted neatly in the opening of its dented helmet, the horns spiralling over the floor. There’s a tooth, perfectly preserved, by Efri’s foot.
One by one, she unwraps her gloved fingers from the handle of the metal stick, letting it drop to the floor with a clang so loud it makes her wince. Kazari is nosing at her side. (When did they let go of it? When did they get so close? She must have missed that. She feels out of the loop. Her heart is juddering like fish on a line, battering like some frightened trapped thing at her ribcage, and her breath is coming fast and heavy.) Absentmindedly bringing up a hand to press over her sore shoulder, she says, “’M fine. Not too – barely touched me.”
Kazari turns and spits on the floor. Efri blinks. She does it again, tongue lolling out of her mouth, face very disgruntled – and oh, Efri gets it. She does not glance down at the thing at her feet; she doesn’t need to, she knows what its arm looks like, chewed almost to pieces even through its banded armour. (If she hadn’t been so busy being scared of it, that sight might have made her a bit scared of Kazari. But not now, when they’re trying to hack and spit the taste of dead man arm out of their mouth.)
Efri unclips her canteen from her belt and holds it out. “Here,” she says. Her voice is rough. Her heart is racing too much to let constructing sentences be easy. “Not much, but –”
Kazari stands still while Efri tips half of the remaining water onto her tongue, and then Efri watches her swilling it around in her mouth, trying to bathe all of her teeth in it, before she spits it again on the floor at the dead thing’s feet.
The water is still clear. That’s something, at least; the dead man was too old to still have blood in him. Or maybe he was embalmed, drained of it hundreds of years ago, thousands.
“Are you okay?” Efri asks Kazari when they’re done, because they were the one doing most of the fighting, who was closest. They tip their head, shift their weight – wince when they put weight on one foot. Their lips peel back from their teeth. Their clothes on that side are singed.
Efri points it out. “Your robe,” she says, which makes it sound much fancier than it is. She’s too tired to think of a better word. She rubs a hand over her face, pushing the hair back over her forehead, says, “I’ll reinforce it for you when we get out.”
Kazari noses at Efri’s shoulder – the shredded fabric of her dress, the fraying edges stained with blood. Efri says, “I know. I’ll have to sew that up too.” Over her shoulder, she calls, “Kazari’s leg’s hurt, I think.”
“There’s blood on you,” Sissel replies. She peels her hand off the floor and leans back on her heels.
Efri touches her shoulder again. “’S fine,” she says. “Just a scrape. The blood’s drying already.”
It’s really sore, actually – the flesh abraded and tender, an ache sinking deep into the muscle – but it’s normal sore, the kind of sore you really should be after being thrown into a wall. It doesn’t feel sprained or dislocated or anything like that.  Just like it will be bruised a whole rainbow of colours come tomorrow.
Kazari noses at it again. She leans too far forward and falters on her maybe-hurt leg – rights herself, wincing, and rolls her shoulder. It gleams, just for a moment, and she nearly stumbles again. Efri puts out a hand to steady her. (It doesn’t really accomplish anything – Efri’s strong, but she’s not that strong – but it’s the principle of it.) “What was that spell?”
“Pain relief,” Sissel says from behind her. “I think. Doesn’t actually fix anything, but.”
“You’ll be okay ‘til we find someone?” Efri asks, and Kazari nods. She presses a hand against their shoulder and nods back.
They both turn to look at Sissel, then, who’s just kneeling on the floor, sitting on her heels.
“You all right?” Efri asks her.
“All right,” Sissel confirms. She doesn’t look at them. “Didn’t even come near me.”
She’s staring.
Efri crosses the floor to stand with her. (She needs to lean on Kazari – her legs are too wobbly, and she doesn’t want to touch the dead thing’s stick, doesn’t want to look for her own. Kazari limps a little on their sore front leg.) There’s a moment of total, humming silence – all of them still and staring, necks craned back, looking up at the thing.
Whatever it is.
It’s a ball. Big and blue and shimmering, it floats above a wide crystalline dish set into the floor, spinning on an axis. Just spinning and spinning and spinning, endless motion. Its smooth surface is cut through with dark wavering lines, etched with lettering, and it doesn’t quite glow but it doesn’t not glow, either, the light moving across it silkily, like clouds in a blue sky. It looks like something that should be humming – a low pitch in their ears, an eerie shiver dancing over their skin – but it’s silent. Inert, maybe, but for the spinning.
“What is it?” Efri asks. Her voice cracks as she speaks. She looks down at Sissel’s face, staring as though mesmerised, illuminated by the room’s dim lighting – the fires that should not still be burning down here, the luminous not-glow of the ball.
Sissel says, “I don’t know. Something important.”
Hovering above the dish, it spins, and spins, and spins.
“Is it what the ghost was talking about?” Efri asks. She tilts her head and squints at it. It doesn’t – well, it looks strange and unearthly and powerful, but it isn’t doing anything. And it hadn’t been clear what the ghost was talking about, exactly, according to Sissel, just that it was something important – but what else could it be?
Sissel, still watching it, shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says. “I think so.”
Efri watches it with her, brushing a bit more hair out of her face. It’s sticking to her sweaty forehead. She feels a drip of not-dry blood running down her arm under her sleeve.
Kazari is staring at it too – just as confounded as the rest of them. Efri sees the light in their irises shifting as the ball spins.
They’re not learning anything from staring, the ball staying strange and mysterious as ever, so Efri raps her knuckles against her sternum to steady her breathing (it’s slowed a bit – not normal, but closer to it) and climbs up onto the stone rimming of the dish. Kazari, behind her, lows in consternation; Sissel catches her breath, a noise like a creaking door. “Careful,” she says.
“Promise,” Efri replies, and places her feet very, very carefully on the glassy blue flooring. Nothing happens. She doesn’t step on the dark curved lines as she treads toward the ball in the centre, slow and wary as if she were approaching a skittish animal. Nothing happens.
She reaches out, and, with just the tips of her fingers, she grazes the ball’s surface.
Nothing happens.
It’s cool to the touch, and smooth, like polished metal or not-frozen ice or delicate glasswork. It continues to spin gently under her fingers, warming her glove with friction, no smudges left on its clouded face.
 It really feels like there should at least be a tingle running up her arm, a strange and unfamiliar current, a spark. But it’s just Efri, standing with an arm outstretched, pressing her hand to a ball.
“It’s not doing anything,” she reports, and Sissel clambers up onto the dish with her, fitting her palm to its gently hovering underside. Kazari balks, begins pacing agitatedly. Efri frowns. “Why isn’t it doing anything? Shouldn’t it be doing something?”
“It’s important,” Sissel says definitively. There’s ancient dust on her fingers, but none of it seems to transfer. “It’s something really special, I think.”
Efri shifts restlessly. She shifts her grip and tries to grab onto the dark ridged curves ringing its surface, but they slip easily away from her grasp as though her touch was no barrier at all. “But what does it do?”
Sissel shrugs.
Behind them, Kazari lows.
Efri drops her hand and grabs Sissel’s wrist. “C’mon,” she says, and when Sissel frowns at her, “We’re not going to learn anything about it this way. We have to look for clues!”
Kazari makes a more impatient noise. (Efri thinks she found a clue.)
Sissel gives the ball one last searching look and lets Efri tug her away, off the weird blue dish and down to where Kazari stands on the stone floor, at the head of the table where the dead man sat. Efri sniffs loudly and tries not to think about it too much. The table is smooth polished stone, worn a little away with time; Efri trails a gloved finger over the edge and directs her attention to where Kazari points with their chin.
There’s something carved into the surface, the edges blunted and shapes softened by however many years it must have been since it was put there. Efri squints, trying to make it out. She has to stand right up on her tiptoes to get the right angle to see much of it in full.
“That’s not letters,” she says eventually, frowning. She’s pretty sure she knows her alphabet well enough by now to know that. “Is it magic?”
Sissel shakes her head. “I don’t know what it is. It’s not like magical writing I’ve ever seen.”
Efri looks at Kazari, who also shakes her head. “Maybe it’s a different sort of lettering,” she theorises. It must have been written a long time ago, if it’s from back when the city had people. Onmund’s been reading all about it for ages, and he’s told her a bit – Saarthal was the city of Atmorans, populated by proto-Nordic people. All complicated history stuff. But they weren’t quite the same as Nords today, he said, so it stands to reason they had different writing, too. They’re supposed to be uncovering and cataloguing artifacts (at the thought, Efri glances back at the hovering ball and swallows an inane bubble of laughter) so she suggests, “Maybe you can copy it and we can show it to someone. I’m sure there’ll be someone at the College what knows what it is.”
Sissel, also standing on her toes, nods dutifully. “What will you do?”
The chamber they’re in is cavernous, and about empty but for the ball in the dish, the altar and chair, the body on the ground. “I’ll check him,” she says, and points. “See if he has anything on him that’s special.”
Sissel follows her finger and grimaces.
She digs out her note-paper and her stick of char, and Efri assumes it’s clues time, but when she turns she feels a hand grip her elbow. She looks back over her tattered shoulder at Sissel’s face, her furrowed brow.
“Promise you’re really okay?” she says, voice anxious and solemn.
“Promise,” Efri says, twisting her arm to touch her friend’s hand. Sissel presses her lips together and lets go of her arm.
Kazari trails after Efri to look at the dead man.
First thing is the metal stick. It’s magic someway, Efri knows – he waved it and threw her into a wall, flung spells with it – but she’s not sure how. Doesn’t know enough about enchantments. Didn’t need to, to use it; when Kazari clamped down on his arm she just ripped it from his grasp and –
She doesn’t quite exactly remember, actually, except for the bitter tang of adrenaline in her mouth and nose, the horrible grunting and scuffling sounds, the heft of the stick in her hands. Impact, over and over and over, against something that had a little more give each time.
Efri scrubs a hand over her mouth and grips the handle of the stick. It takes effort to wrest it out of the thing’s face, caught as it is by the edges of the helmet, and when it’s finally yanked free it’s – actually not as bad as she might have expected. There’s no blood, and the corpse was so desiccated it already didn’t even really look like a person anymore, so it registers less as someone with horrible violence done to it and more as a really gross art piece. It’s not nice. She doesn’t like the twisted, gaping mouth, teeth embedded wrong-ways in its tissue and scattered like coins over the floor. And one of the eyes, which had glowed unearthly blue, is now a dull, rotten black, squished like a plum in its socket.
It's worse the more she looks. She sniffs and turns away.
“This is magic, right?” she asks Kazari, testing the weight of it in her hands, the cool surface of the metal, and they nod. “A good artifact?” she adds, and they nod again, emphatically. Efri sets the stick aside and kneels.
It wasn’t wearing any clothes, really – or if it was, they rotted away. She touches the rusted armour gingerly, tries to avoid brushing her gloves against the shrivelled skin at all. Whoever it was had expensive taste, it seems – there’s jewellery in a shockingly well-preserved beard, pendants around the neck, armbands. Efri asks Kazari if each thing is enchanted. No to the armbands, no to the beard-ring, and then, pressed against the wizened chest where the flesh contours to the ribs, she finds some kind of necklace, sharp-edged and thrumming. Kazari nods to that, and, face scrunched up like an old fruit, Efri reaches around the ancient neck to slip it off.
She tucks it into a belt pocket with the tripwire necklace they found at the weird wall.
“Done,” Sissel says. She folds her paper and slips it into her own pouch. Her footfalls on the echo-y stone floor as she approaches the body for the first time are almost silent. “Did you find anything?”
“Necklace,” Efri replies, watching Sissel’s face pinch at the sight of him. “And – stick.” She scoops up the metal stick and holds it out. “He did spells with it.”
Sissel looks at it warily. “Is he a draugr?” she asks, glancing back down at his mashed-up face.
“I mean,” Efri says, “he’s got to be, right?” She’s certainly never seen a draugr before, but what else could it be?
(Calling it a draugr makes her shiver, the set of her shoulders quaking. She’ll stick to dead man.)
Sissel shudders. She reaches out to grip the handle of the stick, and Efri’s not sure if she’s taking it or just trying to keep herself upright. “I can’t believe that happened,” she says. Her voice sounds, suddenly, fragile. “I can’t believe we’re alive.”
“Me neither,” Efri says. She presses the tip of the stick into the ground so Sissel can lean on it, stands a little unsteadily.
Kazari, with a hushed murmur, telegraphs something. Efri recognises the head incline of understanding – she’s familiar with that word, that idea – and, after a moment, the flickering ear of doubt.
“They’ll have to believe us,” she says with conviction, because she means it. “We’ll show them. They’ll see for themselves.”
Kazari presses their nose to her head.
Efri clasps her hands together. “We’ll go tell someone now,” she declares – though it’s easier said than done; they were lost in the ruins ages before they even found the crumbling wall, the halls, this horrible wonderful chamber. But they’ll get un-lost eventually. They’ll get out eventually. Surely. They have practice enough with walking. “But first – help me find my stick.”
#little girl has a kill count now!! more at 11#for context: I altered stuff leading up to the discovery of the eye#efri and sissel went off to play in the undiscovered halls of this ancient archeological dig site#on the grounds that efri has a great sense of navigation and they'll find their way back to the group no problem.#(efri has a great sense of navigation in the wilderness.)#(introduce her to a series of roads and buildings and she is lost in the sauce.)#their friends split up to look for them after they've been missing from a while (wandering around with great interest and no sense of place#(incredibly lost)#kazari happens upon them right as they've found a necklace at the end of a dead-end passageway that - when dutifully grabbed#for archeological research purposes - ended up triggering the wall to crumble or disappear or otherwise remove itself from the equation#and efri wasn't going to just. LEAVE that opening there.#come ONN kazari that's weird!! we can't just leave it!! what if it closes up and we never ever find it again and there's incredible secrets#that the college never finds! what if we never know what's through there!#we HAVE to know what's through there!#so on they go.#and so ensue the horrors#they pass a lot of dead bodies before the main all but those ones are all immobile#also sissel is the only one to receive the psijic projection warning. which she explains to the others as a ghost telling her secrets#which efri accepts bc this seems like the kind of place that would for sure have ghosts#and kazari goes sure that tracks this place is fucking creepy can we leave now (<- is also curious but HAS to put on a show of reluctance#because clearly no-one else is going to)#(permanent babysitter of kids with the worst self-preservation instincts imaginable)#(she is so strong. living every childcare worker's nightmare)#ANYWAY#:D#normal type stuff#posting because it matches the artwork I'm also posting! look at that thing!!!#fay writes#oc tag#efri
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avocado-frog · 9 months
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Happy STS! What is the best novel you've ever read? What did you like about it, from a storytelling perspective? Has it influenced or informed your own approach?
Hi thanks I've got another ask from you from like two weeks ago that I forgot about whoops
On the jellicoe road has had me in an absolute chokehold since December. It took me a while to get into it because it's a little confusing for the first 100 pages, but my English teacher last year gave it to me because I didn't get a book from the library (it's also worth noting that he gave me a copy that did not have the title on the front, and it was scratched out on the spine, so i did not know what the book was called until i looked it up later)
From a storytelling perspective, it follows two storylines, one is the present, the other is about 20 years into the past, and I'm not going to spoil too much of it, but the parts from the past are written by the protagonist's caretaker, and are in third person, while the present bits are in first. It's definitely worth a reread because of the way the two storylines tie up in the end
I don't think it's really influenced much of my own writing, but I do think that my characterization skills have improved because of it
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magianna · 1 year
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Wanderers I - Always forward
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tfrinpin · 2 months
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Hullo. I am amongst the living.
This little idea kept nagging at me, so here we are: TFP where Op goes ✨FERAL✨
So y’know that whole shtick about “they had a secret relationship all along?” Well this is sort of like that, basically— yes, Megs and Op have had a secret relationship ever since the Orion arc. Megs kept in contact because he missed Optimus SO MUCH. And the war has been going on for so long. Also they can fix Cybertron together. But MOSTLY Megs missed Optimus.
Things go along, now they’re definitely considering peace time and even drafting a treaty to share with their respective factions.
But a little bump in the road comes in the form of someone that Megs DID NOT expect to see— MegaZarak. And instead of Zarak heavily injures Optimus or tortures him, like a previous idea I’ve had before— I’ve thought of something a little more heart wrenching. Shit goes down right when Prime and Megs are about to establish peace: Zarak beats out Megs from the title as leader of the Decepticons. He retreats, and escapes via ground ridge thanks to Optimus and the crew. Knockout, BreakDown, SW, and DreadWing follow after him, ever the loyal soldiers (and they also dont want to deal with Zarak). But Optimus gets nabbed just before he jumps through the ground bridge, and he’s now a prisoner to Zarak. So to fuck with Megs even more, Zarak uses the Botched Synthetic Energon to make Op go FERAL.
Like he’s a literal beast on a leash, fangs and all— and Megs, when staging a rescue operation, is torn because he doesnt want to hurt Op, but he has no choice because OP IS FERAL AND HE WILL LITERALLY GET HIS FACE RIPPED OFF. Optimus’ optics are the striking green just like when Ratchet messed around with it earlier on in the series. (Don’t do drugs kids)
He’s got Optimus pinned and he’s trying disparately to pierce through the feral veil that’s blinding the Prime. And there’s a small, tiny moment where Optimus calms down, and his optics flash blue. He tries to speak but his words are staticky and jumbled. Megs reaches out a soothing hand over Op’s face, but unfortunately the touching moment is short lived when Optimus’ optics flash green again, and he goes back to fighting like a rabid animal.
Megs has no choice to knock Optimus out and take him to the wreckage of the Harbinger where both bots and cons have established a new base since the one is Jasper got blown to bits. So Megs is looking through the cell door of the brig, watching as a feral Op is chained to a wall, snarling, growling, and trying to rid himself of his bindings. Ratchet establishes that it’ll probably take days, maybe WEEKS to flush the botched synthetic energon from Prime’s frame. Megs, ever the stubborn mech, refuses to give up on his Prime— so he sits, and waits, and assists where he can in order to bring his Prime back to himself.
So yeah, an idea where Optimus is pretty much having to be treated like a wild beast the whole time until they can get the botched synth energon out of him.
You’re welcome.
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iovesia · 4 months
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𐚁֙࿐ MEET THE WICKS.
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keanu mlist.⠀ 𑇓 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪ ⠀boyfriend's dad!john wick⠀𝑥⠀f!reader.
synopsis. fucking your boyfriend's dad was surely one way to leave a good first impression.
contents. cheating all around. everyone sucks here. ooc!john. large age gap (20s/40s). non-john wick universe au. outdoor sex. size difference. tummy bulge. 4.4k words.
⋆ 𓂃 ゚ .⠀josie's little note: hello hello ! a happy new years to you guys, and here's a gift! i haven't been terribly active lately, i know— so hopefully this makes up for it ♡ haven't written a proper fic in ages so i kinda of hate this ://
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“MY PARENTS ARE GONNA LOVE YOU.” 
You side eye your boyfriend at his reassuring smile, his hand on the wheel as the two of you drive further up the mountain to his parent’s home. You finally worked up the courage to meet your boyfriend, Michael’s parents. Having procrastinated this moment for almost two years, Michael finally wore you down to saying yes.
The rows of thick, dark trees trapped the two of you on this thin road up the mountains. Pearly white snowflakes float gently down on your window, your chilled breath creating a small fog as you reach to turn the heat up in the vehicle.
“Your parents are gonna think you fell and hit your head,” you roll your eyes. 
“Oh c’mon!” Michael tuts, letting out a little huff. His eyes focused heavily on the road ahead, turning the wheel as the car took a left. “You’re way too hard on yourself.”
Truth be told you could’ve gone your whole life without meeting his parents. The prestiges Wicks. Michael was not the son of any run of the mill family, but rather the son of two CEOs of the largest cybersecurity companies in the world, while all your achievements were golden-sticker-on-a-piece-of-homework level at best.
“Says the kid of billionaires,” you say dismissively.
“Millionaires,” he corrects cheekily, earning a playful punch to the arm. “Baby, you gotta relax.. I love you, so by default my parents will love you too— or at least be nice enough to pretend.”
“Not funny, Michael,” your little whines turn into a soft laugh as your boyfriend chuckles. The two of you continue the drive up to Michael’s parents home. You two engage in nonchalant conversation that was periodically interrupted by a series of texts. Occasionally glancing over to Michael’s phone, you see the name “Maggie” popping up.
The hairs on your neck stand up, and your palms sweat onto the leather seat, but Michael’s soft smile reassures you .. a little.
Hours go by before he finally pulls up to the home and your jaw drops. Your eyes meet the sight of the gorgeous villa, decked with greystone walls with a light wooden trim. A small cobblestone bridge that goes over the infinity pool, leading to the large front door with crystal clear windows. This isolated winter wonderland of a villa (that Michael downplayed heavily— the ever humble man he is) was to be your home for Christmas. 
“Michael! This place is—”
“Smaller than the one in Italy, but my mother wanted something cozy.”
Your eye twitches a little at how dismissively he talks about this house. His nonchalant demeanour as he parks his car in the driveway of a home you’d never even be able to afford a fraction of. You simply nod, then unbuckle your seatbelt.
Ping.
You glance down at Michael’s hand, which quickly flips the phone face down. 
“Pretty popular, huh?” You joke half-heartedly, trying to probe a reaction. Michael smiles at you, shrugging his shoulders. Noticing his shoulders tense up, you try to ignore the pit in your stomach. The two of you get out of the car and unload your suitcases.
Each step across the small bridge and to the front door felt in slow motion, your heartbeat thumping your ears.
“You’re gonna be fine, baby,” Michael reassures, before ringing the doorbell.
Beat.
Beat.
Beat.
Click.
The heavy slategray door glides open slowly, and your fake smile plasters on at the sight of Michaels’ parents. Helen Wick, a graceful woman in her late 30’s. Her flat ironed brunette hair hugged her soft face, and her smile accentuated the faint laugh lines.
On the other hand, her husband John, the older of the pair, stood stoically. His black hair, and black eyes matched with his simple black slacks and button up protruded his muscles. His dark aura almost sucked the light out the area as he stood tall next to his happy wife. Helen’s hazel eyes meet yours as she hides her surprise with a plastic grin.
“Oh Mikey… she’s beautiful!” Helen exclaims, her voice a little pitched. 
Michael nudges your shoulder as Helen wraps her arms around you, giving you a stiff hug. You could smell the expensive Chanel No 5 from her neck, and the Michael Kors blouse was silk and soft against your hands as you hugged her back. Mr. Wick, remaining unimpressed as ever, simply watched the interaction unfold.
This was gonna be a long Christmas.
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Dinner was painfully awkward. The scratching of gold silverware on the rare china plates filled the air. Inside their villa was just as impressive as the out. The warm lights of the christmas decor and the glorious christmas tree illuminated the luxurious dining room. You rest your elbow on their mahogany table, calmly taking a bite of your roasted turkey.
“Elbows, dear,” Helen hums from across from you, her tone almost motherly. Glancing down at your elbow, you flush embarrassed as you lean back against your chair. Michael sips his wine next to you, sighing at his mother’s uptight behaviour. 
John seems to be the quietest of them all, although you can feel his intense stare from across the table. The older man intimidates you to no-end, and some part of you is desperate to earn some form of approval from him. You always liked a challenge.
“So..” Helen breaks the silence again, clearing her throat. The light shines on her expensive bracelets and rings that adorn her hand as she sets her fork and knife down. “Tell us how you met our Michael.”
Michael and you share a glance, and he subtly urges you to speak. You smile softly, sipping your liquid courage before speaking. “We met at the diner I work at. Michael was always a regular, and refused to let anyone but me serve him,” You giggle at the memory, and Michael blushes.
“You’re a waitress?” John chimes in. You swallow at how low and husk his voice was, and you finally meet his dark orbs piercing into you. Like a little ant under a magnifying glass; his simple question felt like a heavy exam, and you were determined to pass.
“Yes.. It’s called Daisy’s Diner on Victory Boulevard” You furrow your brows, a little confused. “Didn’t Michael tell you..?”
“He led us to believe you owned a diner.. Not working in one..” John hums, seemingly returning to his unaffected attitude. Your lips are slightly parted in surprise, and heat rushes to your cheeks as you side eye Michael. He avoids your gaze, focusing down at his plate. 
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“You told them I owned a food chain?” You huff, annoyance dripping in your voice. The dinner lasted for what seemed forever before the sun finally set and each couple retreated to their respective bedrooms. “Michael, what the hell?”
“It’s not a big deal,” Michael rolls his eyes, fluffing up one of the pillows. He rubs his eyes tiredly, and you can tell he’s getting agitated. “It’s fine— they didn’t mind.”
“Oh really?” You scoff, putting your silk pyjamas shorts on. “He led us to believe you owned a diner.. Not working in one..” you mock John’s voice, making your own deep and nasally. 
“My dad does not sound like a nasally Christopher Walken, but okay,” Michael snorts at your impersonation. You toss a pillow at him, hitting his chest.
“Not the point, Michael! You were supposed to be on my side, you just fed me to the wolves!”
“Grow up— you had an awkward conversation with my parents, it wasn’t the end of the world!”
“The whole point of this weekend was to get them to like me! You just sat there cutting your turkey into a million pieces!” The air in the room was thick with tension, the two of your moods souring as your voices raise. You wished your boyfriend had a spine, and he wished you didn’t have one. Letting out another huff, you grab your toiletries purse and head to leave the bedroom to go brush your teeth.
The brightly lit home was now dark and empty, aside from the moonlight shining in through the bright windows. You glance out, and see the snow top mountains faded behind a thick fog as you walk down the hall; feet padding softly on the cold wood.
When you finished in the bathroom, you were hardly paying attention as you opened the door, eyes half shut. Your face instantly pummels into something hard, making your eyes blink rapidly. A quiet hmph can be heard above you, and your eyes dart up to meet John’s. He stood there blankly, wearing nothing but his briefs.
Your face flushed with utter humiliation and you turned your head away. “Sorry— um— I didn’t see you—”
“Wrong bathroom.”
“Huh?” You raise a brow.
“You’re in my wife and I’s bathroom,” He repeats slowly, his tone slightly condescending. His chest rises as he takes a breath, and you can help but watch each muscle that twitches; feeling your throat go dry. You get lost in analysing the tattoos on his arms and shoulders that were so well hidden by his button up. 
“Oh..” you clear your throat, snapping out of it. “Sorry.. Michael told me this was the guest one..”
“Michael tells you a lot of things that are not true it seems,” John hums, a curious look on his face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
No reply.
John simply shrugs, and shifts to the side, allowing you to pass him and you can’t help but take a peek at his toned back. For an older man, he seemed to take care of his body well. His defined muscles, covered in ink of religious tattoos and Latin proverbs, intrigued you to find out more. 
“It’s rude to stare,” his deep voice is in a low whisper as he shuts the bathroom door behind him, not even glancing back at you. Embarrassed and fascinated, you hurry back to yours and Michael’s room where you find him already asleep, his mouth open wide as he snores. His typically irritating habits of snoring loudly and taking up space seemed to be the least of your concerns as your mind is flooded with images of his father.
His father’s voice.. His father’s tattoos.. His father’s v-line that disappeared under his briefs.. 
You were too distracted to even notice Maggie had texted again.
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The following days leading up to Christmas were suffocating to say the least. Unless Helen was there to kindly offer comedic relief or keep John occupied— it was as though you were constantly invigilated. Any anecdotes you told, the way you skied when the four of you went, how much or how little PDA you showed Michael: it was one big test, and you were failing, hard. 
You had no clue why you were desperate to please Michael’s father. Helen was easy enough to win over.. Perhaps it’s just the masochist in you, but his condescending words began to make you bashful, rather than embarrassed.
Michael’s been aware of your strange behaviour but can’t seem to put his finger on it. Worst part was you knew why he was suspicious— he was projecting. It seemed this trip to get you closer with his parents, ended up straining your own. 
“She’s a co-worker— fuck— I can’t keep explaining this to you!” Michael snaps defensively.
“Lower your voice— your parents are right there!” You hiss. The two of you stand outside on the back patio of the villa. Flames from the fireplace crackle, leaving an orange hue on both your faces. The sound of soft wind and smell of dinner oozing from the inside almost created a romantic atmosphere.
Had it not been for Maggie.
“What kind of co-worker texts you on PTO?” You whisper shout. Michael groans, rubbing his eyes as he turns away from you. “She’s been texting you everyday since this trip and it’s not the first time.”
“I’m busy— I work a lot. It’s probably about a project,” your boyfriend replies, almost being unconvincing on purpose. “You’re so goddamn nosy.”
“Nosy? I’m here meeting your parents and you’re probably sexting some random girl right now.”
“She’s not some random fucking girl.”
Your face drops. Your brows furrow together, the anger fading into a gentle hurt. The silence is deafening, and there’s zero remorse in Michael’s eyes for what he’s saying. A stunning realisation sets in that this Maggie is no longer just a notification you notice on his screen— but an actual person who Michael might harbour actual feelings for.
“Michael?” You ask quietly. "Who is she?"
Michael runs his hand through his hair, lips pursed as a sharp sigh escapes. His head hands low, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Agitation fills his figure to the brim, and another pregnant pause occurs. You pinch your thumbnail into your palm, anxiously waiting for his next word.
It never comes.
Michael just mutters to himself as he walks off the patio back inside, sliding the glass door shut loudly. You stand there in the cold, desolate quiet. A thousand thoughts running through your head, but your body stood still— unmoving. What felt like minutes, was hours as the lights inside the villa eventually turned off.
You sat on one of the lounge chairs in a small ball, knees to your chest and your stare fixated on the flames flickering. The ember fire warms your body, but can’t reach your frozen heart. For a strange reason.. Your eyes were dry, your lips weren’t trembling. Rather than a wave of sadness or betrayal— there’s a black hole, numbing you from the inside out. 
“(Y/N)?”
Turning your head to the side, you hear the glass door slide open and a tall silhouette emerges from the darkened villa. The moonlight glowed on his face, his black t-shirt and pyjamas sweats only accentuating his pale figure. 
“Hello.. Mr. Wick,” You clear your throat, pulling your knees closer to your chest. His faint footsteps become louder as he walks over to you, his looming shadow dimming the fireplace for a second before sitting next to you.
Here he was. The man who shamelessly steered clear of you like water and oil. The man who squinted his eyes at every word you said. The man who was now sitting right next to you in the dead of night.. His legs manspreading a little too close for comfort.
Your leg twitches a little, either from pure anxiety or the Vermont air breezing past your almost bare skin. Perhaps a thin Henley shirt and jeans were not the best choice of clothing, you scold yourself. 
Occasionally you glance over at the older man, who simply sits hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees with his fingers interlocked with each other. The gold of his wedding ring glowed like a red warning sign. You were surrounding an intimate fireplace inches away from a married man— your boyfriend’s married father. 
“So um—”
“You alright?”
He cuts your sentence off as usual.. But there was a sincerity in his question, albeit his blank expression. Your face softens with genuine surprise, and you scratch your arm, adjusting your sitting position. 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lie.
“Fine with the way Michael talks to you?”
Biting the inside of your cheek, you shrug. The lines of appropriate conversation topics began to blur, and you worry that trash-talking your boyfriend to his father was definitely crossing something.
“I apologise for his behaviour.” This dude’s a fucking paradox.
“What?”
“Helen and I never raised Michael to raise his voice at a woman, let alone curse at you. And for that I apologise,” John repeats blankly. His amiable words were dampened by his impassive body language and tone. 
Was he serious? Was it sarcasm? Was it a test for your reaction?
“Thank you” was your safe option, and he nods at your reply, still not even looking your way. Your leg continues twitching anxiously— and this he notices.
“Cold?” John asks.
“What?”
“Your leg.”
Like an obedient pet, you stop your twitching immediately. You hug yourself a bit, leaning back against the lounge couch, trying to create some distance. John mimics your movements, letting out a soft sigh as he does so. As he rolls his shoulders back— a soft crack hissing— his left arm lifts and reaches back, wrapping around your shoulders.
Eyes widened. Heart beating. Throat dry.
This was definitely crossing the line.
“Mr. Wick—” 
“John.”
Chewing your bottom lip anxiously, you shift in your seat again, but his arm remains firm around your shoulders, gently pulling you against his side.
“John..” the name feels foreign on your tongue. “What are you doing?”
“You can do better than Michael.”
His words almost make you chuckle— if it wasn’t for your chest tightening. Your brows snap together as you look at him, full of confusion. The entire week you spent trying to impress, and show you were good enough for Michael son— only to be met with such.. Praise? Could you even call it that?
“You’re kidding, right?”
“You don’t think so?”
“Well..” you pause, repeating the phrase in your head over and over. “You spent this past week completely tearing me down, and mocking me.. Where’s all this coming from now?” Tenacity laced in your voice, and for the first time, John’s pink lips pull into a small smile.
“So just because I’m not explicitly praising your every movement means I’m tearing you down? Are you truly that desperate for me to approve of you?” John licks his teeth, a rare chuckle leaving his mouth. Heat rushes to your face at his taunt. 
“I don’t need your approval..” you weakly defend. John tilts his head slightly, his dark eyes surveying you before leaning back. You’re almost disappointed at his retrieval of his arm, letting your warm skin cool down. 
“You have it.”
If you jaw wasn’t dropped already, it was on the floor by now. 
“You’re nice girl, and you're humble. A diner is hard, honest work. I wasn’t born the boss— everyone has to start somewhere, and I respect that.”
“So why act so.. disappointed?” You stammer, eyes blinking rapidly. 
“I was disappointed my son had the balls to lie to me,” John clears his throat. “Lied about where you work, when you met.. He was born with a golden spoon in his mouth, of course he doesn’t respect you.”
He doesn’t respect you.
“... He loves me,” you whisper, almost in denial. But deep down in your frozen heart, you knew the truth. All the arguments, the dismissive tone, the hiding were physical proof right in front of your nose.
“That’s not the same thing,” John hums. “He’s cursing you out at his parent’s home— my home— I can only imagine what else he must be doing.”
You don’t know the half of it, is what you wanted to say. But for the sake of not burning bridges, you kept your lips shut. Suddenly, the pad’s of John's finger brush a strand of hair from your face. His touch was electric. Warm. Intoxicating. Merely a bristle of his touch made your chest tighten.
"Michael was right about one thing.. You are beautiful.”
Before you could come to your senses, your soft lips were enraptured with eyes. He swallows your little squeal of surprise, and your back meets the arm of the couch. A ringing echoes in your ear, like a bomb going off. Your boyfriend’s father.. had just made a move on you.
And you like it.
His tongue slips past your lips, meeting yours. You feel his warm big hand cupping at your hip, the other slipping under your thigh to lay you down better on the couch. His taller frame was much bigger now that it hovered over you, keeping you firmly pinned. 
“J-John— stop— we can’t!” You manage to pull your face to the side, your lips leaving his. “Your wife— and my boyfriend— your son are right upstairs! Their rooms are right—”
“So you better be quiet then.”
His firm tone sends shivers down your spine, and you were once again suffocated with his lips. The sound of your jeans unbuttoning hits your ears and you realise there’s no turning back. Your mind flashes with moments of this week where you ogled his body. 
No longer were your dreams of his tough hands, his manly shoulders or deep voice just a distant fantasy.. but now a reality. You let out a sharp gasp, when you feel pressure on your nub. His sneaky fingers managed their way under your thin panties. His painstakingly slow circles had you squirming like a puppy.
John chuckles at your needy little whines, looking down at your face and watching as it twists into growing pleasure. Ignoring the cold mountain wind, the two of you are quick to shred your pants, drinking in the absolute tabooness of the situation.
Your nails dig into couch pillows, your leg resting over his shoulder. John hisses softly, his large tip barely kissing your entrance. Your eyes trail away from his gorgeous face up to the open window on the second floor. The lights were off, and a small pit of guilt filled your stomach. But soon to be filled with something else, when John suddenly leans in, letting his tip slide past your folds.
“Fuck—” You bite your lip hard. A baritone chuckle echoes through the empty patio and he continues to slowly slide in, stretching your tiny hole out to the brim. The wind promptly knocked out your lungs as your eyes almost rolled back. 
“Look at you.. taking it all in like a good little girl,” John taunts but it only makes you throb, clenching tight around him. You blink rapidly trying to focus, but his mocking coos only fluster you more. “Oh.. someone’s enjoying this.. You like when I praise you, don’t you?”
His hips begin at a gradual pace, and you slap your hand over your mouth, desperately trying to swallow your moans and whimpers. John’s longish black hair was covering most of his face, as he leaned down. Your knee was almost to your face, and you whine at the burn in your legs.
“Y-Yes— I do—” You admit bashfully. Thrust by thrush, his hips rut faster and faster against your small frame. The sound of his heavy balls hitting the curve of your ass were so sinful and sticky, and you feared Helen or Michael hearing you two. 
“So desperate to make a good impression..” John’s hand rests above your pussy, completely fixated on the small bump his large cock is causing. His tip kisses your cervix as he fills your spongy walls, a thin white ring forming at the base. “...that you’re slutting yourself out to a man twice your age.”
His mean tone and jeering words make your eyes water with humiliation, but your moans sing a different tune. John lets out a groan as your cunt flutters around him, shifting his grip to your waist, and his fingers pinching painfully.
“Such a filthy little girl..” he coos in your ear. You squeal girlishly against your hand, biting down on your finger. John drinks in the teary look in your doe eyes, the way they almost roll back in pleasure. Your soft lips around your finger, as you clamp down hard when he begins to toy with your breast. “With such pretty tits— and such soft skin.”
John’s head dips down, his lips wrap around one of your nipples and you let out a loud cry. He’s quick to bite when you slip up and start making too much noise. The feel of his tongue swirling your bud, and his cock plunging in and out of you was too much, and the knot in your belly tightened.
“Ohmygod— fuck—” You whisper and pant as quietly as you can. John laughs against your skin, his hands like magic as they hit every button that makes you squeal. 
“Baby needed a real man to make her feel good, hm?” John asks rhetorically and you nod hurriedly through tears, as you lie a babbling mess under his powerful stature. He continues fucking you relentlessly, each thrust beginning to bruise your poor pussy. 
“D-Don’t stop— please— ohgod—” You stammer and sob.
John leans back up, but keeps your thigh pressed to your chest with his hand. Running another hand through his black locks, and wiping the sweat off his hairline, he groans harshly. The bulge in your stomach popping up and down kept the blood rushing to his cock.
“Gonna cum inside— make you all nice and full,” He pants. “You want that, hm?”
“Yes— yes please— please—” You don’t even care how pathetic you sound. How needy you sounded. Like all sound of mind flew out the window the moment you came here. The moment he even wrapped his arm around you. 
His abs contort and his thrusts began to get sloppier. He gripped your soft hips like a vessel, like he owned you. John grins devilishly at your pretty little cries and pleas, enjoying how much you craved him.
“God you make the prettiest noises— all for me, hm? Just for me,” John hisses, snapping his hips faster against you as his fingers work skillfully on your bundle of nerves, sending waves through your trembling legs. 
You let out an embarrassingly loud squeal, wallens tightening around his thick girth when you feel climax approaching. He shoots ropes of his warm seed inside you, filling you to the brim.
The air is filled with the sound of your weak moans and his quiet pants. Your bodies drenched in sweat, and the Vermont wind is painfully cold now as the passion fades. The thirst of desperation was now quenched with guilt and horror as you realised what you’ve done.
John returns to his blank expression, pulling out of you with a sloppy sound. You wince when his fingers wipe your sensitive folds, collecting his cum on his fingers as he pushes it back inside you. “These pillows are expensive.”
You lie there in shock at how nonchalantly he behaves: like he didn’t just ravage his son’s girlfriend on the couch, leaving her covered in lovebites and full of warm cum. You watch as he tucks himself back into his sweats, and heads back inside the villa.
Soon enough you follow suit, and dress yourself to come back inside. The house was dark and empty, presumably everyone was asleep at this point. You tiptoe to your room with Michael, and thankfully he lies snoring away— unaware what you just committed.
You change into fresh panties and pyjamas, feeling John’s sticky cum on your thighs as it leaks out of you. The betrayal and sin leaks from your skin as you climb into bed, and guilt drips from your pores when Michael wraps his arm around you. 
Guilt that you wish it was John’s arm instead.
Fin.
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© 𝐈𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐀, 2023. do not copy, repost or translate my works.
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fantasiavii · 2 years
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As much as I complain about how slowly I’m reading The Shadow Rising, I do feel like I’m going at a decent pace both through the book and through the series.
But it is still jarring to look at the series list on the inside cover and realize I’m not even halfway through. Crossroads of Twilight feels as distant as the moon. A Memory of Light might as well be another planet. This series is so fucking long
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disneyprincemuke · 2 months
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hot laps * fem!driver
the fact of the matter is that she's got the reputation of being a reckless driver on the road, but they didn't know the extent until they had to join her for a hot lap around the track
pairings: bother figures x fem!driver, 4lyfers x fem!driver, macky
notes: hi i got bored at work and this is what i did instead of my dissertation
(series masterlist) | (📂 the sophomore year)
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-> max verstappen, #1
literally cannot stop screaming the entire time
he knew she was a reckless driver by some degree on the road
but not like this
she takes him on an extra lap and goes faster, almost clips the wall and almost loses the car
is kinda impressed that she recovered it somehow
stumbles out the car a sputtering mess at how hard she’d gone in the car
“remind me not to anger you”
-> logan sargeant, #2
unfortunately is used to his life being in grave danger at her hands
lowkey still has a heart attack even though he knew she’s been driving like this since he taught her how to drive a road car at 16
holds onto the handles for dear life
disappointed but not surprised
“i almost got murdered trying to do content with rocky”
-> lando norris, #4
is silent most of the time
wide eyed though
is kinda traumatised at how fast she was going
because she seems to be having a lot of fun
just walks away the minute she parks the car at the grid
"doesn't seem normal to be giggling and humming songs when you're driving at 200km/h"
-> alex albon, #23
a little impressed
not sure what logan’s deal is about her driving
her driving reminds him a lot of george’s recklessness behind a wheel
isn’t as bad as george so that’s a win to him
“she’s a close second to george on the list of people i wouldn’t let drive me around”
-> liam lawson, #30
cussing her entire bloodline the minute she accelerated
apologises for every time he’s angered and pissed her off
his eyes were closed half the time, only ever peeking through an eye every couple seconds
terrified for his life
“have you ever considered operating a rocketship instead of a race car”
-> mick schumacher, #47
kinda enjoys it actually
she’s driven his car on the road before
asks her for a second lap because he literally doesn’t have the time to go to an amusement park
she says no
says she'll do it if he pays her money and the rates are $5/km/h
“it’s like getting on a roller coaster except it’s not nearly as scary”
-> george russell, #63
screams half the time she’s driving
literally tries to be a backseat driver
could feel his stomach left behind at sharp turns and his lifespan decreasing
actually saw his life flash before his eyes
“i need to apologise to alex for my driving behaviour”
-> oscar piastri, #81
would rather be anywhere than in a moving car with her
tries everything in his power not to get in the car with her
is unfortunately dragged in by lando because “if i had to go through it, so do you”
“i’ve lived with her, i’ve BEEN through it”
doesn’t feel much during the lap
feels kinda nice actually
better driver than he remembers her to be
“perhaps my expectations were low, but you weren’t as bad as i remembered so good job”
— bonus
-> sebastian vettel, #5
doesn’t even blink
sits there and takes it
kind of wonders why he allowed himself to be the target of the socmed’s team
from a race car driver perspective: good, but as a human: it’s absolutely foul
jelly legs when he came out of the car
“whoever let you have a license should have a stern talking to”
-> matt cornett (boyfriend!)
is praying for his safety the minute she approached him with bright eyes and a hopeful smile that he’d join her for a hot lap
literally thinks she’s going to kill him
isn’t as bad as he thinks
still thinks the rate she went at was too fast for his personal preference
she shrugs and admits that she went slower than she did with everyone else she's taken
is offended and asks her to give him the same treatment
literally regrets it
“i literally thought i was going to die at your hands”
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taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool
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lecsainz · 7 months
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hey!!!! so a Londo x gf!reader where Lando is a super loving but at the same time suuper annoying and sassy boyfriend 😂
DATING WITH LANDO NORRIS
summary: that's how it would be like dating lando.
authors note: While writing this, I almost died cause I went to grab coffee, and it was SO SO SO HOT 😭 I got inspired by the messages I found on Pinterest 💅
✩. . . masterlist !
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You didn't know that dating Lando would be a test of patience. Not that you were a boring person, but Lando had a knack for teasing you just for fun, and it drove you crazy...
You're in college, juggling lectures and assignments, and Lando takes every opportunity to distract you with playful text messages and surprise visits to your campus.
Living in London together means endless opportunities for exploration, but also endless debates about whether to take the Tube or an Uber, and Lando always insists on walking, even in the rain.
Lando's idea of a romantic date involves taking you to a go-kart track and pretending to lose so that he can see you competitive and fired up.
He's super loving, and when you're stressed with exams, he'll make you tea and give you back massages, but not without adding a cheeky comment about how you should study less and cuddle more.
Whenever you're watching a Formula 1 race, he'll point at the screen and say, "That's gonna be me winning for you one day, babe."
Lando can't resist poking fun at your accent, even though he's the one with the strong British one. "Say 'water' again, love."
He insists on cooking together, but be prepared for a chaotic kitchen and lots of flour fights.
Lando loves surprising you with impromptu road trips, and while you appreciate the spontaneity, you secretly wish he'd let you pack a bag first.
He's a night owl, and you're not. He'll playfully nag you to stay up late and binge-watch Netflix series with him.
On your birthdays, Lando goes all out with surprises. One year, he arranged for you to take a ride in an actual Formula 1 car (with a professional driver, him, of course).
Lando can't help but show off his driving skills when you're in the car together, even if it means a few hair-raising moments.
He leaves sticky notes with cheesy love messages all over your apartment, which you find for days, even in the most unexpected places.
Sometimes, he intentionally loses bets just to owe you a favor he can cash in later for cuddles.
Lando's sense of humor is a mix of charming wit and cheeky sarcasm, which makes every conversation an entertaining challenge.
Lando's cooking skills are... questionable, but he'll proudly present you with his latest culinary creation, and you'll pretend it's the best thing you've ever tasted.
He loves to bug you, especially when he's jetlagged, sending all sorts of messages like:
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springtyme · 2 days
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𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐢𝐧'𝐭 𝐍𝐨 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 ♡
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐: 𝐏𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐚 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐞
Spencer Reid x f!reader || Series masterlist || Series playlist
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Previous chapter || Main masterlist || ao3 || Next chapter
summary: After having worked for the BAU for two years, you have seen and experienced a lot, but after a series of murders of young married couples, you’re asked to do something that you never had thought you would have to do; going undercover, as an expecting, married couple, with Spencer Reid.
word count: 4.6k
warnings/tags: Eventual smut! (18+, mdni!) Language. Angst and fluff. Slow burn. Mutual pining. Coworkers to lovers. Undercover as a married couple. Pretend pregnancy. Not set at a specific time, but definitely somewhere in the early seasons. Reader uses she/her pronouns. Mention of canon-typical violence. This chapter has not been proofread, and I'm honestly not that proud of how it turned out, but I'm just exited to get further into the story <3
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Spencer glances over at you as he notices your head start to nod, he can’t keep the small smile from his lips as he sees that you have drifted off. He reaches over to adjust his jacket, making sure you are as warm and comfortable as possible before he focuses back on the road. 
He can’t help but feel a wave of protectiveness wash over him, knowing what lies ahead for both of you. Having to go undercover, pretending to be married, to be in love, to be expecting a child together… It is a lot, to say the least. 
For a second he can’t help but imagine that the two of you actually are married, that he isn’t giving a colleague a lift, but that he is driving home with his wife. Not to be creepy, just to… to what? To practice? To get used to the idea of being so close to you, of having to maintain that facade? In this moment, with you sleeping soundly on the passenger seat of his car, it’s strangely easy to imagine it.
But as quickly as the thought comes, he pushes it aside, feeling guilty for letting his mind wander in that direction. The two of you might have to act like a married couple soon, but that does not mean he should think like that. If there is one thing he’d never want to do, it is to make you feel uncomfortable. You have agreed to the assignment, not to him inappropriately using the scenario to imagine things. 
And it’s not like he has ever dared to entertain the idea of actually being in a romantic relationship with you. After all, you’re just his colleague, someone he respects and admires for your compassion, intelligence and dedication to the job. He also knows that you would never see him like that, and why would you? He is just the socially awkward genius who can barely keep a conversation going without tripping over his own words.
But as he drives through the silence of the night, with only the soft hum of the engine to keep him company, he can’t help but feel a sense of closeness to you that goes beyond just a professional relationship. As the car continues its way back to D. C., Spencer can’t help but steal glances at you, now and then, your features relaxed in sleep. Despite the seriousness of the situation ahead, despite the weight of the assignment on your shoulders, you look so peaceful in this moment.
As the city lights of D.C. come into view, Spencer can not help but feel a sense of gratitude for your presence in his life. He knows that this assignment will test the limits of his abilities and his emotions, but having you by his side gives him a sense of comfort and strength. And as he pulls up to your apartment building, he gently reaches over to softly shake your shoulder, gently waking you from your slumber.
“Hey, we’re here,” he says softly, watching as you slowly stir awake.  
You blink a few times, rubbing your eyes as you sit up in your seat. “Oh, we made it already? That was fast,” you mumble, stretching your arms.
“Yeah,” Spencer nods, a small smile on his lips, the drive had taken the time it always does, but to you it must have felt like it passed quickly cause you were asleep for most of it. 
“Thank you for the ride, Spence,” you say, gratitude shining in your tired eyes. 
“No problem. It’s not like I could let you take a cab back.”
You smile at him, the warmth evident in your expression. “Okay, but still… I really appreciate it.” 
Spencer just softly shakes his head at your words. “Anytime. Now come on, I’ll walk you to the door.”  
You nod in appreciation, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes before following Spencer out of the car. The two of you walk the short distance to your door in comfortable silence, the night air crisp and cool around you, Spencer’s jacket still draped around your frame.
As you reach the door, you turn to face Spencer, a small smile on your face as you hand him back his jacket. “Thanks again, and sorry I fell asleep on you. I guess I was more tired than I thought,” you say, looking almost a little sheepishly.
Spencer waves off your apology, he is just happy That he could help and make sure you got home safely. “No need to apologize, you needed the rest. Now go get some more, I have a feeling we have some demanding days ahead of us.” 
“Yeah, I think you’re right,” you nod with a sleepy smile on your lips. “Good night, Spence.” 
“Good night,” he replies, watching as you unlock your door before waving goodbye. He offers you a small half-wave back, the gesture ending up more awkward than he had intended to, but you just smile warmly back at him, before stepping inside. 
Spencer stands there for a moment, watching the door close behind you, feeling a strange sense of longing in his chest. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he turns on his heel and heads back to his car. 
· · · · ·
You kick off your shoes as soon as you step inside your apartment, letting out a tired sigh as the soles of your sore feet hit the floorboards. All you want to do is to crawl into bed immediately, to wrap yourself in the warmth of your blankets and escape into the blissful embrace of sleep. But you trudge off to the bathroom, fumbling with the zipper at the side of your dress. You need to remove your makeup and brush your teeth and you also want a shower to wash off the day before you can fully relax. 
You let out a little sigh as you finally free yourself from the tight fabric, and shred yourself of your underwear, before stepping into the shower cabin. You feel how your tense shoulders loosens up a little as the hot water cascades over your tired body, washing away the long day and the weight of the impending assignment. You let out a sigh of relief as the steam envelops you, the water soothing your aching muscles and relaxing your mind.
The calming and familiar scent of your shower products fills your nostrils, soothing your senses as you finish washing off. As you step out of the shower, you wrap yourself in a fluffy towel, quickly drying off and lotioning up before heading to your bedroom. You slip into your favorite pajamas, the soft fabric hugging your skin as you crawl into bed, feeling the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to you.
The events of the evening begin to replay in your mind as you step into the darkness of your room, the weight of the upcoming assignment looms overhead, but you take a deep breath, pushing aside the worries and the uncertainties for now, all you want to do is get some rest before the intensity of the case takes over your life completely. You collapse onto your bed, feeling the exhaustion of the day wash over you. The warm comfort of the soft duvet is reminiscent of the warmth of Spencer’s jacket and you can’t help but feel a small smile grace your lips. 
Despite the seriousness of the situation ahead, you feel a sense of reassurance knowing that it is Spencer that will be by your side. You close your eyes, allowing yourself to drift off into a peaceful slumber, the thoughts of the assignment and the challenges ahead temporarily fading into the background as you embrace the sweet serenity of sleep, wanting a couple of hours of respite before the storm of the case begins.
Four hours is what you end up getting before the shrilling sound of your phone pierce through the silence of the room, jolting you awake. It’s Hotch, sounding just as tired as you are feeling while he explains that you’ll have to go to the headquarters at Pennsylvania Avenue later. It turns out that, due to the extensive nature of the case, you and Spencer have to get greenlit from the higher authorities before you can be sent undercover. 
So that is how you end up spending most of your weekend at the J. Edgar Hoover building. You have to go through a psych evaluation, and get your gun qualifications renewed even though you just got yours renewed a couple weeks ago, and a mandatory course in basic undercover protocol. You don’t get to see Spencer in the two days that you’re going through the evaluation process. It’s a bit weird knowing that he is somewhere in the same building as you, going through the same process, and not being able to see him. 
By Sunday afternoon, after you have gone through your last evaluation, you get told that you have been approved. You had never been really worried that you wouldn’t, most of the things like psych evals and gun qualifications are formalities you have to go through on a semi regular basis anyway, but it is still a relief to know that you have been approved and you’re also ready to focus on the actual case again. 
As you finally leave the building, the sun is setting in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over the city as you make your way to the metro station. You can’t help but think of Spencer as you ride the train back to your apartment. You wonder how he’s been doing, if he’s been feeling the same nerves and exhaustion as you have been going through the approval process. 
By the time you step off the train and make your way back to your apartment, the sun has dipped lower in the skyline, casting long shadows over the street as you step up to your door, the key turning in the lock with a satisfying click as you step inside. The exhaustion of the weekend hits you all at once, and you feel the weight of the upcoming assignment pressing down on your shoulders as you make it up the stairs and into your apartment. You let out a tired sigh as you kick off your shoes and drop your bag on the floor. 
You quickly change into comfortable clothes and make yourself a cup of tea, finding a small sense of comfort in the familiar routine. You sink into your couch, wrapped in a blanket with your cup of tea in hand as you let the mild aroma of the tea soothe your nerves. The calm before the storm has settled over you as you sit in the quiet of your apartment, the warmth of the tea seeping into your bones while you take a moment to reflect on everything that has happened over the past few days and what’s to come.
You have become so used to living alone, to come back home to your empty apartment at the end of the day, and for the most part, you’ve liked it that way. But as you sit in the silence of your living room, a part of you can’t help but feel a twinge of loneliness. As you sip your tea, you can’t help but think of Spencer once again. 
You wonder if he is also now settling in at home, if he is feeling the same sense of anticipation and nerves that you are feeling. You are happy that you don’t have to go through all of this alone, and even happier that you will go through it with a friend. It is reassuring to know that the one you have to go undercover with is someone you trust completely, even though the nerves have started to kick in. 
With a deep breath, you finish your tea and set the cup aside as the late afternoon turns to evening outside your window. You should probably get some food, you contemplate cooking something for about five seconds before you decide to order some take out instead. 
Having called to place your order, you settle back on the couch, flipping on the TV to distract yourself from the thoughts swirling in your head. You find a mindless comedy to watch, letting the laugh track of the show fill the room as you wait for your food to arrive. 
After you have eaten and as the evening wears on and the darkness outside your window deepens, you decide to turn in for the night, the exhaustion of the day catching up to you once again. 
You wake up the next morning feeling slightly more refreshed, the weight of the assignment still looming but by now you have now entered that focused mindset that you always slip into when a new case is at hand. You go about your morning routine, getting ready for the day ahead, knowing that it will be a busy one as you prepare for the undercover operation. Soon you’re in your car and on your way to the office. 
Hotch has organized a briefing for you and the rest of the team this morning after which you and Spencer will have your own briefing, going over the details of the assignment and setting the expectations for the operation. You’ll be assigned your cover identities and the roles you’ll be playing and go over the plan of action and the timeline for the operation. 
As you pull up to the FBI building, you can feel the anticipation building in your chest, the gravity of the situation settling in once again as you make it inside, heading to the conference room. The team is already gathered when you arrive, the air in the room buzzing with a sense of purpose as the briefing begins. Hotch goes over the details of the case once again, outlining the specific details of the murders and the profile of the victims. 
As the meeting comes to an end, Hotch dismisses the rest of the team, leaving just you and Spencer in the room. He turns to the two of you, his expression serious and determined, but he is quick to soften up as he begins to speak.
“I want to thank you both again for agreeing to take on this assignment. I know that it’s a lot to ask, and I appreciate your dedication to the job and your willingness to take on this task,” Hotch starts, his voice filled with gratitude. “The evaluation team from D. C. had a lot of good things to say about you two when they rang me to let me know that you had been approved.” He adds with a small smile. “Told me if I wasn’t careful they’ll try to recruit the two of you for undercover work full time.”
You and Spencer share a look, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. 
“Said that eidetic memory of yours could make for the perfect deep cover operative, Reid,” Hotch adds, turning to Spencer with a small smirk. 
You can’t help but smile either as Spencer blushes at the compliment, his cheeks turning a shade of pink as he shifts in his seat. You secretly love it when Spencer gets flustered, he looks so adorable when he does, and it’s nice to see him get recognized for his abilities. 
“We have your identities ready,” Hotch continues, making you and Spencer sit up straighter, the seriousness of the situation settling in once again as Hotch passes you each a folder filled with details of your new personas. You and Spencer quickly scan through the files with curiosity. “We have determined that it’ll be safe enough for the two of you to keep your first names, but the two of you will now be the Baker’s. You met in college and got married last year. You’re expecting your first child and are now moving from the east coast to California for work. Your identities have been fabricated to fit the profile of the victims, we’ve done everything to make them as appealing for the unsub as possible. Your main objective is to draw out the unsub and gather evidence that will lead us to their capture. As you already know, we have good reason to believe that the unsub stalked the victims for some time before committing the murders, so we need you to act as a convincing couple that fits that profile.” 
You and Spencer nod in understanding as you go through the details quickly, taking note of the background stories you’ll have to maintain during the operation. 
“I have full confidence in both of you, I know you’ll be able to handle this assignment with professionalism and dedication. Remember, your safety is our number one priority. We will have agents nearby at all times to ensure your safety. We have arranged for you to move into a safe house in the area where you will spend most of your time. You’ll have constant communication with the team or local authorities, and we’ll be monitoring the area to ensure your safety,” Hotch explains, his expression serious but reassuring.
You nod in acknowledgment, but something seems to be bothering Spencer. “It says here that I’ll be working at the local college,” Spencer says, his brow furrowed in confusion. 
“Well, yes. You’ll be working as an assistant professor in engineering as part of your cover. We believe the unsub is targeting educated couples, so having you work in a university setting will make you more appealing as potential victims.” Hotch explains. “We have fixed everything with the university, and you have a PhD in engineering so it’s a fitting cover for you.”
“But it says Y/N will be staying at home?” Spencer adds, looking over at Hotch with furrowed brows. 
“Yes, that is correct,” Hotch confirms.
“So I’m just expected  to leave her alone all day... That doesn’t seem like a good idea, what if something happens while I’m not there?” 
“I understand your concern, Reid, but as I said, we have a team of agents that will be monitoring the area at all times, this is all part of the operation. We have calculated the risks and we have concluded that it is a safe choice to make. Your absence during the day will make you both susceptible to the unsub’s advances, which is our goal in drawing them out. We have taken all necessary precautions to ensure your safety and we will have agents nearby in case of emergency.” Hotch says, his tone gentle but firm. “We have security measures in place to ensure Y/N’s safety while you are not there, and you will have constant communication with her and the team. It’s important that you both stick to your cover identities in order to draw out the unsub and gather the necessary evidence. The unsub has only attacked when both partners are present, so if anything it should be more safe.”
“Okay, but-” Spencer begins, but Hotch speaks again.
“Again, I understand your concern, Spencer, and it’s valid,” Hotch says, his tone softening. “I appreciate your dedication to the safety of your partner. But we have taken every precaution and all of this has been thought out thoroughly. We believe that this is the best course of action. Your safety is our top priority, and we will have every precaution in place to ensure that both of you are safe at all times. Just trust the plan, trust your training, trust the team and trust  each other.”
Spencer nods, though his concerns are still evident in his expression, his jaw slightly clenched. You can see the conflict in his eyes as he processes Hotch’s words. A stretch of silence settles over the room, you are not sure if you should say anything or not, but you can see that Spencer is deep in thought. You are moved by his concern for your safety, but you trust Hotch and the undercover specialists have everything planned out and under control. Before you can say anything, Hotch speaks up again, this time addressing you. 
“We have an undercover specialist coming in to help the two of you going through your cover stories, but I was also told that we have a styling team coming, and I believe they asked me to send you by them. They should have arrived by now, so why don’t you get that done now and then you and Reid can focus on going through your cover stories in more detail later.”
You nod, understanding that Hotch wants to speak with Spencer alone. You grab your folder and stand up from your seat, getting ready to leave, but not before you reach out and give Spencer’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze, offering him a small smile before turning to leave the room, ready to meet with the styling team to finalize your cover identity.
· · · · ·
Spencer watches as the door closes behind you, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside of him. He trusts Hotch and knows that the team has everything under control, but he can’t help the knot of worry settling in his chest. 
He knows that this assignment is risky, and he knew it when he agreed to it. But for some reason, the revelation that you will have to be alone for hours during the day, vulnerable to potential danger, weighs way heavier on him than he had anticipated. He knows that you are more than capable of handling yourself, but the thought of leaving you alone is unsettling to him. 
“Are you okay?” Hotch’s voice breaks the silence, pulling Spencer out of his thoughts. 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Spencer replies, his voice tight with emotion. “I guess it is just getting real now…”
Hotch nods in understanding, his expression sympathetic. “I know this assignment is tough, Reid. And I’m not going to lie, I don’t like having to send you two into this, but I have full confidence in you both. You are both capable agents and I trust that you will handle this operation. And remember, you have a team behind you.”
“I know, and I trust the team and I trust you too.”
“That’s all I ask, Reid,” Hotch replies. 
Spencer nods, but he can’t shake the uneasy feeling in his body. A stretch of quietness falls over the room. Spencer. He does trust Hotch, just as he trusts the team, of course he trusts you. He is just not so sure that he trusts himself. That he will be able to pull this off. How is he ever going to be convincing as a husband? He might have an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187, but he lacks the social skills and experience in romantic relationships that would be necessary for this assignment. 
And the thought of having to act like a married couple with you, of having to maintain that facade, gives him a weird feeling. It’s a strange mix of emotions, and Spencer can’t help but feel a sense of unease at the idea of being so close to you in such an intimate context. What if he messes up, what if he can’t handle it? He takes a deep breath before he finally breaks the silence. “I’m not sure I’ll be good at this, I don’t think I’ll be able to convince anyone that I’m married.”
Hotch gives him a reassuring smile. “Of course you can. You’re a great agent, and I know you’ll be able to adapt and handle this assignment. We have established that you trust everyone involved in this operation, so I need you to trust yourself as well.”
Spencer takes a deep breath, nodding in acknowledgment of Hotch’s words. the room falling quiet once again as Spencer absorbs everything. “It’s going to be fun to dive into engineering again,” he finally says, attempting to lighten the mood. Hotch chuckles at his attempt, knowing that Spencer is trying to shift the focus away from his worries. Spencer wouldn’t be Spencer if he didn’t try to find some sort of comfort in knowledge and logic.
“I’m sure you’ll do great,” Hotch replies, giving him a small smile. “Just remember to stick to your cover story, trust your training, and work closely with Y/N. You two make a great team, and I have full confidence that you’ll be able to handle this assignment together. You’ll have support every step of the way.”
Spencer nods. He knows that this assignment will push him out of his comfort zone, but he also knows that he has a responsibility to the victims and their families to do everything he can to bring the unsub to justice. And if that means stepping into a role that he’s not entirely comfortable with, then he will do it. For them. He also has a responsibility to you, to ensure your safety. 
After a moment of quiet reflection, Hotch stands up from his seat. “We’ll reconvene later for a more detailed discussion of your cover stories. For now, why don’t you take a break, maybe get some coffee.”
Coffee does sound really good right now, Spencer has barely slept in the past few days and he feels the exhaustion catching up to him. With a nod of acknowledgment, Spencer stands up from his seat, his mind swirling with thoughts. Taking a deep breath, Spencer exits the conference room and heads towards the break room to grab a much-needed cup of coffee 
· · · · ·
The image in the mirror is truly bizarre, you can’t stop staring at the reflection of yourself, turning to inspect the surreal sight from every angle. “I look… pregnant,” you finally mumble, placing your hands on the fake bump. 
The padded prosthetic bump that has been attached to your body under your dress is surprisingly realistic, making you look like you have just entered the last trimester of pregnancy. It’s a strange feeling, feeling the weight of it against your body as you adjust to the added bulk. You can’t help but feel a mix of awe and discomfort at the sight of your altered appearance.
It is like getting a glimpse into a parallel universe, one where you’re married and about to have a baby, so far from the life you are currently living. 
“Well, that is the goal,” the woman from the styling team laughs. “Just be happy you don’t actually have a little one in there tap dancing on your bladder non-stop,” she adds with a grin.
You chuckle at her comment, but you can’t help but feel a little surprised that you actually wouldn’t mind it that much. You are nowhere near the point in your life where you are ready to have children, but the thought of having a family and sharing that kind of connection with someone does bring a sense of longing to your heart. 
But you quickly push those thoughts aside, that is a can of worms that you don’t need to open right now. Right now, you have a job to do, and you have to focus on being the best undercover agent you can be. You give yourself a mental shake, trying to banish the strange mixture of emotions that is suddenly swirling inside of you. 
“Yeah, that must be quite the experience,” you reply, offering her a smile as you try to shake off the unexpected surge of emotion. You turn away from the mirror. “You got everything you needed?” 
The woman nods with a smile. “Yes, everything seems to fit just right,” she reply, looking at you with a reassuring smile.
“Great, then I should probably get back to the briefing,” you say, feeling a sense of relief that everything, so far, is going smoothly with your cover identity. You quickly change back into your regular clothes, feeling the weight of the fake bump disappear as you slip out of the dress. 
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Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are always greatly appreciated :) let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapter ♡ edit: it would especially be nice if you reblog when you ask to be added to the tag list ♡
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punkshort · 3 months
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somewhere to run | 11. austin pt.2
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Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader
Chapter Summary: You go back to Austin for another meeting with Madeline, but this time, you're alone, and you meet someone from Joel's past.
Chapter Warnings: language, some mild hints at smut but nothing explicit, angst, hurt/comfort, discussions/recollections of past DV/SA, insecurity issues, jealousy, panic attack
WC: 6.5K
Series Masterlist
Something was wrong.
You hadn't seen or heard from Joel since the diner, and that was three whole days ago. He didn't normally stop by on the weekends, but he had gotten in the habit of sending you a text here or there. Things like how was the rest of your shift? Or watched this movie tonight with Sarah, you would like it. And sure, sometimes it would be more along the lines of can't stop thinking about you, what are you wearing?
You had both stayed true to your word. The two of you hadn't had sex since the time in his truck a few weeks ago. But some of your texts have crossed the line a couple times. And yes, there might have been one small phone call that ended with your thighs clenched around your hand and him groaning quietly on the other end, but that didn't count. You weren't dating. You weren't together. And unless your phone was tapped, nobody would ever know.
Looking down at your phone, you frowned. The last message you sent him wasn't even delivered. And it was already past his usual time to stop in for lunch. Tomorrow was your meeting with Madeline. You were sure he would want to talk to you about it before you left.
It was very unlike him.
"Maria?" you called out when you happened to catch her walking by the counter.
"What's up?" she asked, carrying an armful of menus.
"No Joel today?" you tried to ask as casually as possible.
If she was suspicious, she didn't let on.
"Oh, yeah. He's out of town. We're watching Sarah til he gets back tomorrow evening," she said, looking over her shoulder when an older couple walked in looking for a table. "Sorry, gotta go," she said, then hurried towards the hostess stand to greet the customers.
Out of town? Why wouldn't he have told you?
Because you aren't dating, you idiot.
Still, it bothered you. You told him you wanted to take control of your life and do things for yourself. Did that upset him? Maybe he took it the wrong way. You had still hoped he would give you advice, some guidance on how the process works, what to expect next.
You were probably reading too much into it. Maybe there was a family emergency.
It wasn't until almost midnight when your phone pinged next to your bed. Groggily, you reached over and squinted at the screen, then opened your eyes wide when you saw his name.
Joel: Sorry, something came up out of town. I'll hopefully be back late tomorrow. Let me know how your meeting goes.
You stared at the screen, reading and rereading his text. Hopefully be back tomorrow? What was going on? Why was he responding so late?
Probably because he knew you would be asleep and wouldn't bother him with a reply.
You put your phone back on your charger without answering and pulled your comforter back up to your chin as you stared blankly at the ceiling.
You were spiraling and you knew it. You were letting your insecurities get the best of you again. There was no reason to think Joel was icing you out. He was probably just busy. You couldn't expect him to spend all his time worrying about you.
There was nothing you could do about it now, short of calling him and outright asking him what's going on, so you did your best to push it out of your mind. Closing your eyes, you tried to will yourself to sleep before hitting the road early the next morning.
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It was very early when you got up, so you decided to still not answer his text from the night before. If he was up that late, he was probably still sleeping.
At first, you were glad for the distraction. Driving the two hours to Austin kept your hands away from your phone, although you would be lying if you didn't hope to have another message from Joel when you stopped to use the restroom, just to be sorely disappointed.
There was hardly any traffic so you arrived a little ahead of schedule. You parked in the same parking ramp you and Joel parked in last time and walked the few blocks to the law firm, grateful for a few minutes of fresh air to clear your head. When you entered the lobby, you were greeted by the same two receptionists as last time, and the same one as before waved you over with a smile. She didn't appear to recognize you when you told her your name, and as you watched her scroll on her computer, a nasty part of you wondered if she would remember Joel had he been there with you.
She probably would. Joel's effect on the women he encounters wasn't lost on you. He practically had the whole town wrapped around his finger back home. It hadn't bothered you much lately, but something about his sudden disappearance and lack of contact was just bringing out all your worst thoughts. You shook your head as you sat down, trying to make the thoughts scatter. Pulling out a small notebook and pen, you flipped open the cover and reviewed the contact information you had given Madeline's secretary, along with a couple questions you wanted to ask, but your eye kept wandering to your phone, as if you were trying to force it to light up with his name.
You heard Madeline's soft voice call for you and you lifted your head to greet her with a smile. Clutching your notebook and pen in one hand and purse in the other, you stood to follow her out of the lobby. You made sure to shoot the receptionist who helped you a friendly smile as you walked past, feeling guilty for having such catty thoughts about her when she didn't even do anything wrong.
"So, I reached out to the people on your list. All except your mother, like you requested," Madeline said, jumping right in when you sat down in her office. You liked that about her. She didn't waste any time.
"I sent them texts warning them you would be in touch and they all seemed happy to help," you told her, and she nodded.
"Very much so, but I really do feel like having your mother testify would help. Mothers are great at garnering sympathy from a jury."
You chewed nervously on your fingernail as you thought about it.
"Besides my cousin, she's the only one who I confided in the most," you began, dropping your hand to your lap. "But she never seemed to see it the same way I did. If Patrick hit me, she thought it was because I was talking back or pushing his buttons. She would defend him, telling me 'he works so hard, he deals with so much stress'. And I'm sure you saw what she would say about the sexual abuse," you said, motioning towards the papers on her desk.
Madeline sighed and looked down at a copy of your statement.
"Yes, I did see that. Can I ask you a difficult question?" You let out a dry laugh.
"Just one?" you asked, and she smiled.
"Did you father ever abuse her or you growing up?" she asked gently. You sat back in your chair, deep in thought.
"Well, definitely not me, but I don't know about her. If he did, it was behind closed doors."
"Was there anything that you maybe saw or heard to make you think that would be a possibility?" she pushed.
"I mean, my dad has a temper. He would shout a lot, fly off the handle over little things, but I don't remember him ever calling either one of us names or hitting my mom."
Madeline nodded as she jotted down a note on her legal pad.
"I'm just trying to find a reason why she would think the way Patrick treated you was acceptable," she explained.
"Oh, right," you said, racking your brain for anything that would give an insight into your mom's response. "I never thought to ask. I was so wrapped up in my own shit, it never occurred to me that she might have been going through something, too." That guilt that never seemed to go away began to stir deep in your belly once again.
"Well, I'll do whatever you're comfortable with," Madeline said, tapping her pen lightly on her legal pad. "If you'd like me to reach out, I will. If you prefer to talk to her first or leave her out of it entirely, I'll stand by your choice. But in my professional opinion, I think it's worth exploring, and if I don't think she would make a good witness once we talk, we can always let it go."
"She doesn't even know where I am," you said softly, more to yourself than anything. "We obviously don't have a very good relationship. When I left, I didn't tell anybody where I was going. I only told my cousin I was leaving so my family wouldn't think I died or was kidnapped or something."
Madeline nodded, listening closely. You loved that about her: you always felt like you were being heard whenever you spoke.
"Why don't you sleep on it and let me know what you decide," she said, and you agreed, watching her flip through her other notes. "As far as the divorce petition goes, Patrick didn't respond. No surprise there."
"What does that mean?" you asked, inching forward in your chair.
"He still is allowed some time to acknowledge it. Specifically, 30 days since he was served, so he has a few more days. If I still don't hear anything, we can file for a default divorce. If we do that, Patrick will give up his rights. Obviously beneficial for you, definitely not for him, so I anticipate a response at that point."
"Okay, that sounds good," you said, feeling a bit of relief. Regardless of how this will go, the end will be the same: you will be free.
There was a soft knock at the door behind you, causing Madeline to look up in surprise, then smiled and waved in the guest. Turning around in your seat, you saw a tall, beautiful woman with warm, brown skin and perfectly styled curly, dark hair enter the room. Madeline stood from her chair, and you followed as Madeline reached an arm out to the woman to introduce her.
"This is Michelle, she's one of the firm's partners."
Michelle shook your hand, her grip firm, and she gave you a dazzling smile.
"Oh, wow, it's so nice to meet you," you said. "I can't thank you enough for taking on my case. This is life changing for me, you have no idea."
"Don't mention it, we're happy to help," she replied, her smile still plastered across her face.
"I didn't realize you were in the office today?" Madeline asked, pulling Michelle's attention from you.
"I was supposed to be in court but the guy ended up pleading guilty last minute. Love when that happens," she said to you with a wink, and you smiled. She glanced around the office quickly before turning back to you and Madeline. "Just you today?"
You paused at first, not understanding what she was asking, and then Madeline stepped in.
"Joel's out of town at the moment," she said to Michelle, and you couldn't stop yourself from frowning. How would Madeline know that?
"Oh, that's a shame. I was hoping to run into him, I haven't seen him in a while. Thought we could catch up," Michelle said, another wide smile spreading across her face, revealing perfect, white teeth. Catch up?
Madeline smiled back but you thought you could see some tension behind her eyes. Or maybe your insecurities were getting the best of you, yet again.
"How do you know Joel?" you asked, and hoped you didn't come off as defensive as you felt.
Michelle gave a soft chuckle and leaned against Madeline's desk.
"So sorry, you're probably confused. I'm sure he didn't mention it because he didn't want you to feel indebted to him since we took your case pro bono under his suggestion," she said, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep up. "We were together for a long time. Almost got married, actually, but then I got a promotion out here with a different law firm and he didn't want to move... I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about ancient history," she said with a laugh.
You tried your best to smile in return but you were fairly certain you couldn't move. You felt like the walls were closing in and you could barely hear what she was saying. Fortunately, Madeline swooped in and distracted Michelle while you tried to get your bearings. Slumping back down in your chair, you tried to remember how to breathe without looking like you ran a marathon. How could he not tell you about this?
Glancing back up at her, you examined her features as she spoke with Madeline. High cheekbones, curly hair, athletic build... the question slipped out before you even had a chance to think.
"You must be Sarah's mom."
The two women stopped talking immediately. Michelle looked down at you in your chair and finally you saw that perfect smile crack. Something told you bringing up Sarah was a sore subject, and that nasty, jealous part of you felt good.
Michelle forced a wider smile and tucked an imaginary stray hair behind her ear.
"Yes, actually. I didn't realize he told you about Sarah," she said, her eyes drifting back to Madeline, who just stared right back at her.
"You look so much alike," you told her, your throat tightening. "You must be so proud of her."
Another awkward silence filled the room.
Michelle looked like she was about to reply when her cell phone rang, and you could have sworn she looked relieved.
"I'm sorry, I have to take this. It was a pleasure to meet you," she said, and you actually managed a small smile. The two of you listened to Michelle's high heels click loudly against the wooden floor as she made her way out, answering the phone with an authoritative tone when she stepped back out into the hall.
You and Madeline looked at one another for a moment, each of you not knowing what to say.
"Does she know about me and Joel?" you blurted out. "I mean, you know... that we used to have a personal relationship?"
Madeline chuckled and took her glasses off.
"I didn't think she needed to know," she said, offering you a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't know she would be here today," she added with a sigh.
"Did..." you swallowed but your throat felt like sand. "Was my case picked because of their relationship?"
"Oh, no. Not directly, anyway," she said, shaking her head.
"What do you mean?"
"The partners vote on which cases are picked pro bono, so they all have to agree. I can't say one way or another if she helped sway their decision, but I do know the partners in this firm care about helping people. They see cases like yours and they truly want to help. So regardless, just know they are good people who want to see you get the justice you deserve."
You leaned back in your chair, stunned. Would Joel have asked his ex to do you a favor? And then not even tell you? Is that why he's been icing you out? Maybe he was having second thoughts about your relationship. Maybe he changed his mind but can't figure out how to let you down gently.
Stop spiraling. He's not icing you out.
Oh, but it really felt like he was in that moment, and you could feel your insecurities winning the fight.
The last few minutes of your appointment was spent reviewing what you had discussed that day and a reminder to think about the topic of your mother, but all you wanted to do was get the hell out of that building as soon as possible. Once you finally got back to the safety of your little car in the dark parking garage, you finally let the tears fall.
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The drive home was long and quiet. Your mind was still spinning with the information about Michelle, and as hard as you tried to put it out of your mind, it kept creeping back in against your will. She was pretty. She was so pretty and smart and fit. She reminded you a little bit of Nikki - beautiful, tall, confident. They seemed so different from you. What in the world did Joel see in you if Michelle and Nikki were the types of women he usually went after?
Your phone began to ring in your bag. Reaching over to the passenger's seat, you rifled through your purse blindly, eyes still on the road, fingers searching and finally finding your phone.
You had to do a double take when you saw it was Joel calling.
Staring at the road, you listened to your phone ring over and over, your finger hovering over the little green button on the touch screen, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. It finally stopped ringing and with a sigh of relief, you dropped it into your cup holder.
You knew if you had answered the phone, you would have been irrational. You needed time to think, so you slid the bar down on the side of your phone to silence your calls.
Where the hell was he, anyway? Why wouldn't he have told you he was leaving? And why did Madeline know? If he had time to tell Madeline, he could have had time to tell you, too. You wanted to ask her, but in your hurry to get out after meeting Michelle, you forgot.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your phone light up in the cupholder, and because you had no self control, you picked it up to take a quick peek.
Joel: How did everything go with Maddy?
You scoffed and tossed your phone back into your purse so you wouldn't be tempted to look again until you got home. To force your mind off it, you spent the rest of the drive thinking about Madeline's request to ask your mother to testify. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to call her. Maybe her views have changed. Perhaps she gained some clarity on your situation since you ran. You obviously wouldn't have done that unless things were really bad. Maybe she just didn't realize the severity of the situation.
You really wished you could run this by Joel, but that stubborn part of you absolutely refused.
By the time you arrived home, your muscles sore from sitting in the car for so long, you had decided you would give your mom a call. Just to test the waters. And depending on how it went, you would decide if you wanted to ask her to testify.
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Joel sat in a rental car, staring out the window blankly while he fidgeted with his phone. Why weren't you answering your phone? Maybe you were driving and you couldn't hear it. He was fighting the urge to call Maddy to see if you had made it to Austin in one piece. The only thing holding him back was his concern that she would pick up on something in his voice when he spoke about you. He had told Maddy the two of you were over, and at the time, it was true. But now the lines were blurred and it was becoming difficult for him to hide his feelings. It must be written all over his face. Even you could see it, which terrified him at first, but then you climbed into his lap in his truck and his fear melted away, leaving only his exposed heart and his very real, very intense feelings for you on full display.
Those feelings were exactly why he found himself on the seedy side of downtown Philadelphia, staring at subsidized housing with sirens wailing in the distance. He pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket and checked the address again before tucking his gun into the back of his pants and sliding his shield into his pocket, then opening the car door and stepping out.
It was colder in Pennsylvania than he expected. It wasn't quite snowing, but the wind carried tiny flecks of white. Not enough to accumulate, but enough where he felt the cold deep in his bones. He walked up the path towards the housing unit, glancing around to confirm he was alone before looking back down at the paper in his hand.
Nina Hoffman.
He approached the first unit and scanned the numbers on the doors before moving on, then stopping when he found the correct number and knocking firmly on the door. He turned around, watching as two young men eyed him suspiciously as they walked by. Once they were out of sight, Joel knocked again, louder this time.
"C'mon," he muttered under his breath, then rubbed his hands together, trying to warm up as he waited. He was about to give up when he heard some shuffling on the other side of the door. He straightened up and stepped back, then gave his most charming smile to the small pair of eyes that peered out at him through the crack in the door.
"Afternoon," Joel said with a nod. "Would you happen to be Nina?"
The eyes raked up and down his body and stopped at the bulge on his back.
"Who's asking?" her raspy voice replied.
"Sorry, miss. My name's Joel. Joel Miller. You don't know me, but I think we have someone in common," he replied, her eyes still glued to the gun he had concealed under his coat.
"Who?"
Joel took a deep breath, bracing for her reaction.
"Sergeant Patrick-"
She went to slam the door in his face but he was faster. He stuck his foot in the door as she kept pushing back, trying to apply enough pressure to make him move, but he just wedged himself into the crack further.
"I ain't who you think I am," he said, but Nina ignored him.
"Get the fuck out of here! I dropped the charges!" she cried out, and Joel tried to shush her until he realized fights like this likely happened all the time in areas like this and wouldn't draw as much attention from neighbors.
"I wanna help you! There's more victims!" he told her through gritted teeth as she slammed the door against his leg over and over. At last, she stopped yelling and paused, and he took a deep breath. "I believe you," he continued. "And I think I can help you."
"Move your leg," she told him, and Joel dropped his head in defeat.
"Please, just hear me out-"
"I will. You gotta move your leg so I can undo the goddamn chain," she replied, sounding annoyed.
"Oh, right," Joel said, then pulled his leg out from the crack in the door. She shut it and he heard the metal chain slide through the lock before she twisted the knob again, opening the door wider and revealing herself for the first time. She looked to be around your age, blonde hair that looked like it needed to be washed, and blue eyes that were bloodshot.
"You just gonna stand there or you wanna come inside?" she said, turning on her heel and walking into the apartment, leaving the door wide open. He glanced around behind him once again, still reeling from her change in demeanor, before stepping inside and shutting the door.
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You had been on the phone with your mom for nearly thirty minutes as you stared up blankly at your ceiling, listening to her drone on and on about your aunt and her newest boyfriend. Maybe you should have waited until you were more well rested to call her. The drive back from Austin was exhausting, but in an effort to avoid calling Joel, you called your mother instead. Once she got over the initial surprise, she launched into catching you up on all the drama you had missed, and you were beginning to wonder if she even gave a shit about your well-being. Not once had she asked why you left without a word or even how you were doing. She either didn't care or she already assumed the answers for herself. You weren't sure if it was the exhaustion or all the information that had been thrown at you that day, but for once you decided to stand up for yourself and fucking say something.
"Mom, I called to talk to you. It's important," you said, cutting her off, and she paused on the other end of the phone.
"I figured there was a reason you finally reached out," she replied. You picked up on the edge to her voice and you rolled your eyes. Great start.
"It's about Patrick," you began, not letting her tone sway you.
"What about him, sweetie? Is he doing okay?"
You had to take a deep breath and steady yourself before replying. Is Patrick doing okay?? What about you?
"Actually, no. He's in jail," you said, and she gasped. "For attacking me and another cop in town."
"Attacking? What do you mean?" she asked, and you scoffed.
"Attacking me like he's been doing for years, Mom," you said, sliding your eyes shut.
"Oh honey, you didn't actually call the police on him, did you? I told you, you need to watch what you say. You always have a way of pushing people's buttons, ever since you were little-"
"Mom! Stop!" you shouted, and she immediately went quiet. A dull beep echoed in your ear and you pulled your phone away to look at the screen. Joel was calling again. You clenched your jaw and rejected the call before putting the phone back up to your ear. "This is serious, okay? He raped me. He hits me and emotionally abuses me and I've had enough. I'm pressing charges and we're going to trial soon, and my lawyer wanted me to reach out to you and see if you would be willing to testify on my behalf."
The words rushed out of you faster than you expected, but once they were out in the open, you felt a wave of relief, but the dead silence on the other end of the call made you feel nervous again.
"He has his whole career in front of him. You're really doing this?" she said quietly, and if you didn't know any better, she sounded mad.
"What?" you asked incredulously.
"Everything with you is so dramatic," she said with a sigh. "I don't know what fairy tale you have in your head, but life is tough sometimes. Marriage is tough. It's hard work but you made a commitment to him. His job is very stressful. The last thing he wants is a wife at home who expects flowers and sunshine every time he opens the door."
Your mouth hung open in shock as you listened to her prattle on.
"He went down there to fight for you and this is how you repay him?" she continued as the tears began to burn the backs of your eyes.
"How did you-"
"He provides for you, doesn't he? You don't even have to work. All you need to do is be a homemaker and a mother. Do you know how many women would love to be in your shoes?"
"I never said I wanted any of that," you said, and you heard her scoff on the other end.
"Of course you don't. You've always had some silly fantasies in your head but this is real life. Relationships aren't like the movies. Men aren't looking to trip over themselves to make you happy. Marriage takes work. It's a give and take, and all you ever do is take."
You closed your eyes as the tears began to fall. She was wrong. You wanted to scream it at her, rub it in her face that someone was willing to trip over themselves for you.
"So I take it you won't be testifying on my behalf," you said after a moment of silence.
"You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out of it."
Then the line went dead.
You dropped the phone next to you onto the couch and sobbed into the palms of your hands. What did you need to say to make your mother understand? Was there even a point in trying anymore? Maybe Madeline was right. Something must have happened to your mother to make her think this way, because you knew now that love wasn't meant to cause pain.
A month ago, you probably would have believed her. But now, after seeing what Joel was willing to do for you, you knew better.
Suddenly, you felt foolish for reacting the way you did about Michelle. Regret clawed at your ribs as you thought about all the ignored calls and texts from him. Sitting up on the couch, you wiped your nose with the back of your hand and picked up your phone. With shaky fingers, you tapped on his contact and dialed his number, chewing on your bottom lip as the phone rang and rang until you got his voicemail. You hung up without leaving a message, the guilt tearing you in two.
Joel did so much for you and you repaid him by throwing a tantrum because of an old relationship.
As you turned on your TV, flipping through the channels to try to find some mindless show to distract you, hoping Joel would give you another chance and call you back, you thought about your conversation with your mother.
Maybe she was right. Maybe you were too dramatic. Selfish girl.
You just hoped you could still fix it and didn't ruin the only good thing you had going for you.
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Loud pounding on your front door jolted you awake with your heart slamming in your chest. Fear and confusion ripped through you as you sat up and blinked quickly, looking around. You fell asleep on your couch, your TV playing infomercials now as the clock on the wall ticked closer to three in the morning.
The pounding on the door picked up again and you scrambled to your feet. Your first thought was Patrick, but logic slowly seeped into your brain when you remembered he was in a jail cell in Austin.
Gripping your phone tightly in your hand, you cautiously made your way down the stairs, ears straining to listen for any type of hint as to who was on the other side of the door.
You opened the door a crack and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Joel waiting.
"Jesus Christ," he breathed out as he rubbed his chest absentmindedly. You opened the door all the way and sleepily waved him inside. "What the hell? Why aren't you answerin' any of my calls?" he asked, and for the first time you began to pick up on the worry in his voice.
"I'm sorry," you mumbled, looking down at your phone, now noticing he had called and texted you several times since you had fallen asleep. "I tried calling you earlier-"
"I was gettin' on a plane," he said, shutting the door behind him before scooping you into his arms for a hug. "You fuckin' scared me," he whispered into your hair, and you squeezed your eyes shut.
"I'm sorry," you said again, your voice breaking this time. He pulled back and cupped your face, searching your eyes and realizing you were on the verge of tears.
"What happened? Why have you been cryin'?" he asked you softly, his thumbs brushing gently underneath your swollen eyes. You dropped your gaze and shook your head with shame. "C'mon, let's go upstairs, we gotta talk 'bout what's been goin' on."
He tugged on your hand and led you up the steps, tears still burning in your eyes as you tried to hold them back, your eyes scratchy and dry from already crying too much earlier that evening.
"It's so late," you began, but you could see his body was practically vibrating with energy. "Did your plane just get in?"
"Yeah," he said, shrugging off his coat as he began to pace your living room. You sunk back down into your couch, pulling your knees up to your chest as you watched him dart back and forth.
"Where were you, Joel?" you finally asked softly, and he paused in the middle of your living room. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving town? I was so worried-"
"There wasn't enough time. I had to figure out arrangements for Sarah and reschedule that meeting with her teacher at school... it was all too fast," he rambled, not catching your eye as he spoke.
"You couldn't at least send a text when you were at the airport or something?" you asked, not allowing him to make up excuses. "I had to find out from Maria you were gone. Even Madeline knew-"
"Madeline?" he repeated, finally dragging his eyes up to meet yours. "What'd she say?"
You huffed and crossed your arms, trying to fight the spiteful response that was clawing its way to your lips.
"She didn't tell me anything," you said, watching his face carefully. His gaze drifted away, lost in thought before you added "I just happened to be there when Michelle asked where you were."
Joel's eyes snapped back up to yours in an instant and he felt his stomach twist. You could see the myriad of emotions flitting across his face as he processed what you just said.
"What?" he whispered, his throat tight, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.
"Michelle," you repeated calmly. "Sarah's mom."
His eyes squeezed shut and he rubbed them aggressively with the heels of his palms. He could feel the heat rising from his chest and up his neck, and he tried to take deep breaths to quell the panic, but it was no use.
"Why-" he began to ask but he was finding it difficult to speak. He bent forward at the waist, his hands on his knees as he shook his head from side to side, trying to shake the sudden dizzy spell. He had been up for too long. He didn't eat enough. The altitude from the plane... something was making him feel faint.
"Joel?" you asked, standing up when you noticed something was wrong. You reached your hands out to grip his shoulders, trying to steady him as he struggled to drag in air. "What's going on? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he rasped, but he weakly slumped to the floor in your living room. "Just... dizzy."
"Should I call an ambulance?" you asked, your voice higher than usual. You fumbled with your phone but he managed to reach out and grab your arm.
"No, just... water," he told you, and you jumped up, racing to the kitchen for a bottle of water. You shakily unscrewed the cap and joined him on the floor, bringing the bottle to his lips and letting him take slow sips until his vision cleared and his breathing returned to normal.
You nervously watched him, your phone still ready to call for paramedics if he passed out, but the color slowly began to return to his face the more water he managed to drink. You inched forward, your hands hovering over him, not sure what to do.
"What was that?" you whispered, and he took a deep breath and shook his head.
"I don't know."
You nodded, your lips forming a tight line as you kept a close eye on him. Minutes ticked by as you waited for him to do something or say something, too worried to say anything yourself and risk causing another episode. Scooting closer to him on the floor, you rubbed his back, and his eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into your touch.
"Why was Michelle there?" he finally asked, eyes still shut.
"She came into my meeting with Madeline. She wanted to meet me and she asked about you," you told him, dropping the attitude now.
"But why was she... there? She doesn't work there, she works at a firm on the other side of the city," he said, finally opening his eyes and then it dawned on you: of course he didn't keep her a secret from you. He didn't even know himself.
"She's a partner there," you said, swallowing nervously as the guilt gnawed away at your insides. "She said you didn't tell me so I wouldn't feel indebted to you since they took my case pro bono."
"What?" he asked angrily as he furrowed his brow. "That's not true. I had no fuckin' clue, you gotta believe me-"
"I believe you," you told him, your hand sliding to the back of his neck. His gaze drifted to a blank spot on the wall as he struggled to catch up with the new information you just dumped on him.
"No wonder you were ignorin' me," he mumbled, and you felt your face heat up, embarrassed for acting like such a child and not just asking him about it in the first place.
"I'm so sorry, Joel," you said, tears welling up in your eyes again. "I really did try to call you earlier. I should have heard you out before getting all jealous and nasty."
"Don't be jealous," he said, locking eyes with you again. "Nothin' to be jealous 'bout. That ship with her sailed years ago." He brought his hand up to gently pinch your chin and gave you a small smile. "Haven't even spoken to her in years. I got no idea why she'd even want to see me."
Leaning forward, you gently slotted your lips over his, breathing in deep and inhaling his familiar scent. The same scent you chased after it faded from your sheets.
"You gotta talk to me, baby," he reminded you quietly after he pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours.
"I know, I'm sorry," you told him, a single tear trickling down your cheek. "Today was so awful and I just missed you so much."
"C'mere," he murmured, pulling you into his lap, your face burying itself into his neck.
"Where were you?" you asked him again, realizing for the first time he never answered you, and he took a deep breath.
"Philadelphia."
Your eyes went wide and you flung yourself upright in his lap.
"What? Why?"
He caressed your chin and gave you a sad look, his eyes red and tired as his shoulders weakly slumped forward.
"There's other victims."
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prisonhannibal · 10 months
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part of my season 4 art series that I affectionately call "worlds most fucked up cannibal road trip" in my head. If you haven't seen the other posts, the context is that they lived in Cuba for a while, but had to leave after Will killed a guy after he recognized them in a museum earlier that day. Jack found their apartment a couple days after they left the country. This happens months later.
In my ideal season 4 they meet Jack again and Jack survives and no one goes to prison. Tbh Jack saying he had hoped Will died is actually a really nice thing to say because it means he chose to try to believe Will was a good man and remember him that way.
lol Will touching Hannibal's tie like that...you know he's DEAD serious when he pulls the eyebrow raise+"you're not even allowed to touch my arm until I know you'll behave" move. What do you think Will whispered in his ear?
(ps I dont know if they ever said anything about whether or not Bedelia survived, but I always imagined they killed her after the dinner)
you can find other posts from this au in this tag! including a three part art series that has 8-11 fully colored drawings in each hehe
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bg-brainrot · 3 months
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Failed Every Insight Check and Fell all the Harder (Astarion x GN!Tav)
Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav
Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here
Companion piece to: Failed a Dex Save and Fell for You
Summary: After a few months of traveling together, Astarion has begun to experience some new feelings around you. After one fateful day in Moonrise Towers, he finally figures out what those feelings are.
Tags: Astarion POV, POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Awkward Fluff, tw: mentions of astarion's past and all that comes with it, tw: mentions of araj scene, Feelings Realization, Jealousy
A/N: here comes the awkward, fluffy Astarion figuring out his feelings Valentine’s special. He’s a hot mess, of course. (happy Early Valentine’s because I will be busy on Valentine’s) And thanks to everyone who voted for this one!
Word count: ~4.8k
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Ever since your group entered the Shadowlands, something has been bothering Astarion. He hadn't noticed at first– or rather, had tried his best to ignore it. But, as time goes on, he’s finding it more and more difficult to brush aside.
It had started out small. An odd pain in the pit of his stomach.
What was that? he'd thought, holding a hand to his abdomen in concern. Perhaps he was just hungry, but it certainly didn’t feel like the ever-present hunger in his belly. No, that was a dull, continuous ache. This? This felt like something was weighing him down. Maybe I’m ill. I shouldn’t mention it to anyone, lest Lae’zel slit my throat in my sleep.
Besides, the pain didn’t happen often. He noticed it a distinct few times.
Once, when you first entered the Shadowlands. He’d just watched you bend down, hands plucking at something off the side of the cursed lands’ road. He thought momentarily that he ought to stop you, that none of you knew what could be lurking in its magical darkness. But that tinge of worry was promptly replaced by that same gods awful pit in his stomach. 
Because there you were, presenting your party’s cleric with your spoils. You were gifting Shadowheart a night orchid– had remembered that she mentioned loving them. You bore the woman’s wretched joke with a smile. Disgusting, Astarion thought. No wonder my stomach feels uncomfortable, what a pathetic little exchange.
Like everything that had bothered him in the last couple of months since finding himself free of Cazador, he decided to forget the feeling. Life is his to take full advantage now, why let something like that affect him?
Or so he thought until the next time the feeling made its return.
You had just arrived at the Last Light Inn as a group, found shelter through the Harpers’ well-established safe haven. Astarion was quite happy to be rid of the shadows, content to cozy up in an inn. He figured, if he played his cards right, you may even let him partake in your blood or ask for a bit of fun.
Then your party found Dammon. Equipped with Infernal Iron and one blazing hot barbarian, Dammon made magic happen in a matter of moments. 
Astarion was glad. As much as the group was a bit much at times, he understood Karlach’s struggle with her body all too well. She deserved this small victory in reclaiming her body. 
His feelings of genuine sympathy were short-lived though because a moment later you were wrapping your arms around the tiefling’s body. It was a test, of course, to see if Dammon’s fusing had worked. But there it was again, the feeling in his stomach. This time it felt twice as heavy, a lead ball in his guts. Maybe I should let someone know, he thought. This can’t be good.
But the sensation was soon forgotten as your group settled into the Last Light Inn. Old allies were in some miserable new states– requiring even more help, gods– and new acquaintances were made. It was all rather dull for Astarion.
The one time Astarion perked up was when you went head-to-head with the head Harper. He chuckled under his breath when you outsmarted the old crone, Jaheira. That’s right, Harper. Don’t mess with my protector.
Your first night at the inn was capped off with a bit of revelry: a game of Truth or Dare. 
Astarion could sense your reluctance to play. You’d been acting odd all day, stiff and awkward around him. He saw this as the perfect opportunity to tease you to the high celestial plane– in fact, he already knew what he wanted to ask you. “You are going to regret this so much," he'd said to you from across the table.
Then the game began, and the deep, uncomfortable feeling never left his core.
Each and every companion received your attention throughout the game, in one way or another. Even that damned smith, Dammon, was given a dare from you. And Astarion just sat there, not even earning a glance, his mood growing more and more sour.
When, at last, he was able to taunt you with his question, you were far too in your cups to give a proper response. He sat on your lap, placed there from one of Shadowheart’s dares, staring into your surprised, open eyes, wishing that he'd thought of an easier question for an inebriated version of you.
The group had shooed you both out of the game upon seeing your state, though Astarion didn't mind. He'd much rather leave the lot of them and tease you by himself.
Once you were alone, you answered his question. That he, Astarion, was your favorite and for all manner of incredulous, unbelievable reasons. He’d expected you to say him. He’d asked to hear your praise, confirm your attachment in the name of his plan to seduce you. All the same he was left uncomfortable, juggling the sudden and unabashed flattery. Being praised for his looks was one thing but for being… himself?
The feeling in his stomach grew. Suddenly his lungs felt it, his undead heart felt it. What in the sweet hells is the matter with me? he thought, as he helped lay your drunken, passed out form to bed later that night. He hadn’t felt a sensation like this before– he hated it. 
Then you reached out to him in your sleep, and he froze. Something about the touch quietened the pain under his ribs, and so he extended his fingers, gently touching your brow as you fell asleep. See? I’m fine, he assured himself. I truly am just ravenous.
__
He continued this way for several days in the Shadowcursed lands.
One moment, he was perfectly fine, hacking and slashing at a Shambling Mound with abandon. The next, he would look over at you, see you laughing at something Karlach said, and it felt like an iron ingot had made its way into his insides.
Damned tiefling woman. I’m far funnier than her, you know, he thinks, resheathing his knives with a little too much gusto. The sound of your laughter rang in his head for the rest of the evening, as if he were being driven to insanity by it.
The next day, you had fought a horde of Meazels. At first, Astarion thought the fight was delightful fun– the tiefling woman and the cleric kept getting teleported against their will and after his recent annoyance with both of them, he found it quite amusing. That is, until you found yourself garrotted, teleported as far away from him as possible.
He was on you in mere moments, ripping the creature off of you with his blades. It was almost as if he’d reacted instinctively and, as someone whose instincts typically led him away from danger, he found the sensation quite off-putting. Nevertheless, he'd freed you, asking, “Are you alright, darling?”
Astarion couldn’t remember what you’d even said because once he saw the marks the creatures left on you, the pit in his stomach dropped. Where there had been a heavy pressure before, there was now a sharp feeling. His eyes carefully trailed over your injuries, trying his best to focus on you and not the phantom pain building inside him.
You had been fine, nothing that a quick heal from Shadowheart couldn’t fix, but that feeling stayed in his stomach the rest of the day. It’s simply the Shadowlands, he'd thought. They not only play tricks on the mind, clearly they’re playing tricks on my body.
It was a few days later, as you helped the Harper’s deal with their lantern problem that the sensation shifted again.
Astarion watched, eyes glued to your form, as you dispatched the hideous drider, your twin blades piercing the creature in its most vulnerable spots. He’d seen you kill many monsters before, hundreds likely at this point. But something about the way your body moved in the Moonlantern’s glow, the way your face lit up as the creature’s body crumpled to the floor, caused the vampire to stop and watch.
This time, he’d felt the heavy sensation move up, somewhere just below his throat. He tried against all odds to gulp it away, but nothing seemed to work. We need to finish our business here and get out as soon as possible, he thought now, convinced it was the shadows warping his senses…
But as your travel continues, the feelings never go away. 
It’s a different pressure, it builds, it ebbs, it flows between his heart, his stomach, his torso– and each time he brushes it off. Stewing in these uncomfortable feelings, Astarion spends the week in a hazy mire, not unlike the shadows that surround you all.
Then your group finally infiltrates Moonrise.
__
Moonrise Towers, the seat of the Absolute and a once grand fortress. 
Now, Astarion can’t help but think it seems rather underutilized. Your group is walking along the empty parapets outside, which are woefully missing any sense of grandeur or ornamentation. “Darling,” he says, leaning into you slightly. “Don’t you think we ought to just kill everyone now and take the place for ourselves. Might be quite fun.”
You bark out a laugh, which he feels proud to have produced, and reply, “Maybe later. This is an infiltration mission only. Besides, once we defeat the Absolute, I’m sure there will be a vacancy.”
Astarion laughs back at you. Gods, he enjoys this. The way that he can say something that others would balk at and you will miraculously not only appreciate it, but also play along with it. Having fun with them is so easy, he thinks. And look, I’m still wearing all of my clothes! What a novel idea.
The thought is cut short when your group walks through an outside doorway into a room that can only be described as grotesque. Whoever works here clearly has some knowledge of arcana, if the ingredients and alchemical tools are anything to go by, but it smells utterly foul to Astarion.
It’s when you spot the drow woman hunched over a table in the corner that he realizes where the stench is coming from. Hells below, that woman reeks of something truly awful, he thinks, recoiling. He’d grown used to following behind you closely, but as you step forward to speak to the woman, he finds himself taking a step back instead.
The woman introduces herself as Araj Oblodra, a trader of blood– a rather poor trader, by the smell of it. She takes note of Astarion, who shuffles back instinctively, before you and her go about some kind of business with your blood. Astarion contemplates speaking up, shooing you away from her, but decides to stay back, as far away as he can remain without arousing suspicion. They can handle themselves.
Then, after the woman looks back toward him one too many times, he hears you snap, “And why are you so interested in my pale friend?” 
“Ah, yes. Perhaps there’s one more thing we could discuss,” she begins, her voice a dangerous drawl. “He’s a vampire, no? Or one of their spawn at least.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Astarion says, all-too-ready to fill his role. “We’re all friends under the Absolute. I won’t bite.”
“Oh, I’d prefer if you did,” she’s quick to respond. Her eagerness picks at Astarion’s nerves, and he raises an eyebrow at her. Araj doesn’t deign to give him another moment’s look though, as she turns back to you. “I assume he belongs to you?”
“Excuse me?” Your voice sounds offended– on his behalf, Astarion wonders? “He’s his own person.” Your words cause the feeling in Astarion’s stomach to flip, and, as much as he wants to come to his own defense, he finds himself quite content to hear you do it for him.
“I’m sure he really believes that. How utterly adorable,” she says with a snide chuckle. 
Adorable? he thinks, but he’s unable to interject before the woman continues to barrel forward.
The blood trader turns back to Astarion, face wrinkled with distaste as her tone changes to something a bit more confrontational, “Do you have a name, spawn?”
Her sudden shift in attitude, the proud tilt to her head, it all throws the vampire off balance as he goes to answer, “Astarion, b-but hold on!” Astarion holds up a hand to try to slow this woman’s tirade, all to no avail.
“Good. Now, Astarion, I’ve dreamt of being bitten by a vampire since I was a young girl,” Araj begins, laying out the scene for her request.
Too bad that the scene sounds quite ridiculous to Astarion. Surely he heard her incorrectly? “I’m sorry, you want to be bitten?”
The woman goes on a new insane diatribe– something about dancing with death– but Astarion can hardly be bothered. All he needs to know is that she’s offering some measly potion for being bitten and, gods, does he not want to bite this woman’s disgusting neck. Or wrist. Or really any part of her. “I will have to decline,” he says, with a gracious little bow. Your group is still infiltrating the towers, it wouldn’t do to tell Araj exactly how horrid she smells.
It’s entirely more grace than she deserved, that much is clear because she presses him again. Again, he refuses. “I gave you my answer.”
The drow scoffs, turning back to you once more, “Can’t you talk some sense into your obstinate charge?”
You, for your part, look confused. There’s a line of concern in your forehead as you look between the woman and Astarion, wondering what it is that you’re missing. “I’m surprised, Astarion. I thought you’d enjoy an opportunity like this.”
What?! he thinks, a sudden, sharp spike of anger shooting through him. He tempers his immediate rage and speaks to Araj with that same, false pleasantry she doesn’t deserve, “I’m sorry, but could you excuse us a moment?”
Astarion, not waiting for her response, pulls you aside, away from the drow’s nosy eyes and ears. Once you’re alone, he turns to you, his voice a hiss, “Are you actually asking me to do this? Trading me for some-some-some potion?”
“What’s the matter? Why would she be different from any other enemy?” you ask, leaning toward him.
Your voice is full of genuine worry, and some of his anger abates as he meets your eyes. Of course, they don’t know what they’re asking. How could they know? “Because there’s something wrong with her blood. I can smell it from here. Ugh, it’s rank.”
Now your brows furrow, and a sharp edge enters your eyes as you ask your next question, “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her blood?”
“I can’t say. It just smells… wrong. Unnatural.” His words sound pathetic to his own ears. 
Of course that’s not an excuse, Astarion laments. What am I even thinking? The potion is clearly useful. They are going to make me do this, and I may as well prepare myself. I’ve put up with worse after all.
So, he stands straight once more, ready to put on the performance of a lifetime. His tone takes on a resigned tone as he continues, “Drinking it wouldn’t kill me, but it would not be pleasant.”
You both hear a sigh from behind you. “I don’t have all day, True Soul,” Araj calls, impatiently.
Your eyes remain focused entirely on him, ignoring the woman’s irritated sigh, her entitled words. “Astarion,” you begin, and he takes a breath in preparation for your other foot to drop. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. And if she refuses to take no for an answer again, we’ll simply have to start our assault on the towers a bit early.”
The breath leaves him.
"Alright. Uh, thank you,” he says, feeling the tension drop from his shoulders. He’d been prepared to acquiesce, to do exactly what you’d asked of him. But this? This is something he hadn’t been prepared for. 
In a daze, Astarion makes his way back to Araj, putting on as polite of a facade as he’s still capable of making, “It's still a ‘no’, I’m afraid.”
“How very disappointing,” the blood trader says, shooting you both a disgusted look. She turns away in a huff, leaving your group alone to recover from the exchange. And leaving Astarion floundering in another new sensation.
Because once more, the feeling in the pit of his stomach has reared its ugly head– only this time it shoots through him like a bolt of lightning. He's not sure what it is, but it's stunned him into slipping off his carefully crafted mask. He turns to you once more, voice soft around its usual edges, "Thank you. I… appreciated that.”
"You have no need to thank me. It was always your choice, Astarion."
Huh.
The feeling sinks into him, settling deeper and deeper as you continue through Moonrise.
__
That night, you go to bed in your own bedroll, leaving Astarion to his meditations with a smile and a wave. It has been a long day for all of you, and it's clear from the way you take a glance back that you're worried about him.
Gods, he's worried about him.
After dealing with that vile drow woman, you'd all continued about the tower, ingratiating yourselves with even the most repugnant of creatures to appear faithful to the Absolute. But Astarion paid attention to almost none of it.
He'd stabbed when you told him it was time to stab, he'd joined your side when you called him to you, but his mind had been wholly preoccupied.
They didn't make me do it, he'd thought, as he unlocked some chest.
Well, isn't this exactly what I wanted? he'd thought, following you down some stairs.
Clearly they just fell for my charms, my masterful seduction, he'd thought, flanking a prison guard for you.
So why do I feel like this? he'd thought, staring at your back as you led the way before him.
Now, he lays here in his tent, staring at the fold of its ceiling in a rapt fascination he doesn't feel. The feeling in his stomach has stayed all day, tethering him to his thoughts with its continuous pressure.
When did I get to the point where I would follow them anywhere? Is their lack of self-preservation contagious? he asks himself, eyes narrowing in frustration. I shouldn't have gone into that horrendous tower in the first place. Then I wouldn't feel like this.
But he had.
And you'd not forced him to do so.
You'd not forced him to do anything.
They're a fool, an utter fool. I could have bitten that drow, as easy as breathing, he thinks, rolling his eyes at the thought. Close your eyes and push through, that's what I always say.
But did you want to? something in the back of his mind asks. 
Of course not, but when has what I wanted ever mattered– 
It may not have mattered under Cazador's grip, but it has always mattered to you. You're nothing like that evil man. You'd always been there for him, had managed to find trust in your heart for him, and had been genuinely kind to him.
The now-familiar feeling in his stomach seems to spread to the rest of his body, a warmth that doesn't quite feel warm. It bleeds all the way to his face and his lips curl up into an involuntary smile at the thought of you.
You– you, who had only ever been meant to play a bit role in the tragedy that is Astarion’s life. You, who had transcended your part, leaving Astarion contemplating every aspect of you in the stark solitude of his tent. 
Your beauty when you're covered in blood after a battle, the mischievous glint in your eye when you're teaching a child a sleight of hand trick– even when anger pulls your brows together and you're yelling at him for saying something particularly naughty. Each and every one makes his smile grow wider.
You, his chosen protector, are so much more than just that.
They are incredible. The thought comes to him unprompted, truly as easy as breathing.
His eyes widen in alarm, staring blankly at the tent above him.
The feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn’t an illness. Nor was it hunger. No. It was guilt. It was jealousy. It was…
Oh fuck, Astarion curses to himself. Am I in love?
Now that he has a word to the sensation, that the feeling is in his grasp, he knows he's right. He doesn't have a lot of experience with love, if any– he'd never had the luxury under Cazador's cruel gaze and he can't recall much from before that– but he knows he's right.
And hells does he wish he could crush the feeling in his hands right here and now.
Gods, you complete and utter imbecile, he thinks, hitting his head against the floor. You have things to do, goals to accomplish. They were only supposed to be a means to those goals, not a – a–
Astarion’s mind blanks as he thinks of you again, your charm, your wit, your damnable caring.
Not a companion. Not a friend. Not a lover. When did those late night trysts turn from an obligation, a part of his simple, perfect plan, into something more?
Even now, as he thinks of those nights, he brings a hand to his lips, recalling a night where you had simply stayed in his bedroll. You had kept all of your clothes on, as had he, and simply held each other as you fell asleep. Their kiss that night was delectable, he recalls, tracing the line of his lips, as if he could still feel the ghost of yours on them.
Fuck, he thinks again, dropping his hand in frustration. How could I have been so blind? How did I not nip this in the bud before it got to this disgusting pining?
But he hasn’t nipped it in the bud. The feeling has grown, unfettered, quick as a druidic plant growth, all unbeknownst to him. It has been nurtured by your attention. It has been watered by your kindness. It has become unruly in the safety of your arms.
Now what? he thinks to himself bitterly, wiping a hand across his face with a sigh. What use are these feelings when everything they were built upon is a lie? You are, after all, still playing the role he set out for you.
He considers overlooking the feelings, just as he has inadvertently done in his ignorance. It wouldn’t be of any use to tell you, of course. You could hardly feel the same way about him as he does you, and he’d rather not add another nuisance in the fight against the Absolute.
Besides, if he told you, he would have to fess up, explain his entire plan to you. What would even be left of the two of you after that?
But, he thinks to himself. Let’s say I did tell them. What could they possibly say…
“I was pretending all along too.” – gods, that would break him. That much is all too apparent from the way his undead heart aches at the thought, with a pain he couldn’t possibly feel.
“I like you, but not like that.” – maybe this was worse. Actually, it was definitely worse. He may never recover. His ego would certainly never recover.
“I have someone else that I love.” – honestly, reasonable. What did he have to offer you after all? A bloodthirsty master and the occasional snarky comment? He wouldn’t be surprised to find you in Karlach’s tent at this very moment…
“I hate you.” – he might be able to take this the best. You should hate him. He’d done nothing but lie and manipulate his way into your bedroll. Hate, well, that he understood.
“I love you, but…” – every single 'but' cut like a different, jagged blade. But we’re in danger every day? An excuse, surely. But you come with too much baggage? True, but not something he would be able to resolve. But I don’t want to be with a monster? Again, reasonable, but out of his control.
Astarion runs through scenario after scenario, each one playing with his own emotions in a new and horrendous way. In the end, he all but slaps himself out of it.
No, I cannot tell them. I absolutely must take this to my second grave, he determines, shaking the thoughts away with a few hard blinks.
But the feeling in his chest is more persistent than ever. As if giving it a name and meaning has given it a new, annoying life. He laments to himself aloud, "I may never feel like myself again.”
If this is what love does to a person, he wants no part of it.
__
The vampire didn't have a restful night's reverie, that much is apparent. His mood is foul, his body tense, and his eyes are trying their damnedest to avoid yours. 
No way, he thinks as you all set off for the day. I spun myself into a frenzy last night. Clearly. I feel absolutely nothing–
Then you turn back to him, concern lining your eyes as you address him. What had you just said? He had found himself somehow lost in your eyes, your lips, the turn of your nose… 
Shit, he thinks to himself. No, get back in control. You have only just reclaimed yourself, you can't lose yourself to something as cruel as love.
But, try as he might, his eyes can’t avoid you. 
All morning, he continues to sneak glances your way. Despite his roguish nature, he finds hiding his stares to be impossible. After all, you are the group’s leader. You are at the front, you are at his side, gods, you are everywhere. This feels like some kind of divine punishment…
You catch him looking, of course. And each time, he curses himself, gods, you idiot. You may as well broadcast your feelings to the world. And hells, how long have you felt this way?
Astarion tries futilely to act normal. This is just another day with the group in the Shadowlands. He’s not thinking about holding your hand in his. He’s not thinking about the way you look when you sleep. And, above all else, he is not thinking of your lips or the way that they move when you say his name.
Despite his inner turmoil, the world moves on. You lead the group through the Mason’s Guild, and you all manage to clear the place out easily enough.
The vampire thinks he’s finally reaching some sort of peace. Yes, this routine work he can do. No problem at all.
Then, you say something kind to Karlach, that infernally charming woman, who continues to support you at your side. Who, for all intents and purposes, should be the person who warms your bedroll at night, now that you can touch her. Not him, the man who can only make your bedroll colder. Who, even now, is avoiding your every glance.
Oh hells, he thinks, face dropping. The realization that he’s right is too much for him to bear.
Astarion stalks off, annoyed at himself and his thoughts, needing a moment to recollect himself. I can do this, he thinks. I can do this. I can–
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath once he knows he’s alone. “You’re supposed to get over this, you stupid fool. Shit. Gods dammit.”
He hears your familiar footfalls approaching and freezes, his shoulders tense with anticipation.
You find him in a pool of shadows away from the others, and he can’t help but feel like a beast that’s been cornered. He’s certain his face reflects that, reflects every bit of emotion he’s feeling as plain as could be, but your patience with him has apparently worn thin for the day. Your voice is less kind than usual when you say, “Do you need to talk?”
Seeing the anger in your face, the way that your hands are placed on your hips in annoyance, he knows he can’t keep his feelings to himself. He’ll only continue to push you away, into the strong, red arms of another.
No, he thinks, in a panic. I should– I need to–
He needs to do something about his feelings, unwanted or not. Really, he needs to tell you, regardless of what your response may be. If not, he may regret it for the rest of his undying life.
Now that he is in control of his own choices, he supposes that means all of them, for better or worse. That means even the most difficult ones. This is one of those difficult ones, isn’t it?
So Astarion swallows his pride, his anxieties, his insecurities, and settles his fate.
“Later,” he says, barely getting the words out. He blinks, and tries again, pleading with you with his eyes, “Please, just come by my tent later.”
Later, I will tell them. Everything.
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alltheirdamn · 2 months
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alltheirdamn masterlist
Welcome to the ever-growing list of works I'm creating!
Please remember everything is 18+ MDNI !!! Everything will contain SMUT so be advised and read all warnings!!
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SERIES:
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Mando x f!reader **ongoing**
Chapter 1 Summary: when you discover a bounty has been put on your head, your future and freedom are on the line. Chapter 2 Summary: Mando finds himself back on Tatooine... unable to let you go. Chapter 3 Summary: You're getting comfortable around Mando. He... doesn't know what to feel. Chapter 4 Summary: It was bound to happen eventually, right? Chapter 5 Summary: Are you strong enough? Chapter 6 Summary: Trust goes both ways. Chapter 7 Summary: Sometimes, the past comes back to haunt us. Chapter 8 Summary: The truth fucking hurts. Chapter 9 Summary: Running isn't always as easy as it sounds. Chapter 10 Summary: Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Chapter 11 Summary: Din lets you have a little bit of control before saying goodbye. Chapter 12 Summary: Revenge tastes so fucking sweet.
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Joel Miller x teacher!f!reader **ongoing**
Series Summary: You've nursed a broken heart for two years. ‘Love’ felt like a foreign term, but maybe it wasn’t so far out of reach.
Chap. 1: Your Name Summary: When you catch the eye of your students' dad at a school dance, he starts showing up everywhere. Chap. 2: See me Summary: To be loved is to be seen. You're slowly learning that Joel sees you a lot more than you realize. Chap. 3: Violent Delights Summary: Every ounce of your resolve fades away as Joel finds his way past your walls. Chap. 4: Lost In Moonlight Summary: You couldn't deny Joel any longer. You needed him. Chap. 5: Nevermore Summary: It's hard to understand why everything feels so right. Chap. 6 Buried Truths Summary: When the past can only be contained for so long, Joel is there to pick up the pieces. Chap. 7 The Past Summary: Memories of the past suspended in time.
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LIMITED SERIES:
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Mechanic!joel x f!reader
Part 1 Summary: You're on a cross-country road trip when your tires blow, and you're forced to get them fixed at a small-town mechanic shop. When your card declines, you only have one other option to get your car back. Part 2 Summary: After a summer away, you decide to pay a visit to your favorite mechanic. Part 3 Summary: Swear? On my life. Oil Change Drabble Summary: Joel decides to teach you a lesson in changing oil. The Bet Summary: Joel makes you a bet on a night out.
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Corrupt Dark!Preacher!Joel x f!reader **DUBCON** Summary: You indulge in the voice of the Devil for one fateful night. *please read tags/warnings*
Couch Chronicles Frankie Morales x f!reader x Benny Miller Summary: When you accidentally tell your boyfriend, Frankie, that you think his best friend is cute... he makes a plan.
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coldfanbou · 5 months
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Thanks For The Help
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Woo! Today, we return to the unnamed Mommy Series with Dahyun! (If someone has a possible name for this series, please share)
Length 3.2K
Dahyun X Mreader
Previous Part
Next Part
You wake in the morning tired from the last night. You start to get your clothes on when your phone goes off. “Hey, It’s Jihyo. How are you feeling after last night?”
“I’m feeling good. Really good, what about you? Was it everything you wished for?”
“Hm, I’m not sure I’d say that,” Jihyo says teasingly. You can imagine her smiling on the other end. “I would’ve liked to continue into the night, like before. Are you heading to work?” You tell her that you are heading to work. “Oh, that’s too bad. I was hoping you could come over today and help me out. I could use someone to help me relax.” You know what she means and tell her she’s free to visit you whenever she wants. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer. Are you busy tonight?”
“At the moment, no.” 
“Good, then I’ll see you tonight.” Jihyo ends the call, and you finish getting ready before leaving for the office. Along the way, you get another call; this time, it was from Dahyun. 
“Hello, Dahyun?”
“Hey, sorry to bother you, but is there any way you could pick me up? The bus is late, and I don’t want to be late to work. I know it’s sudden and a bother, but-”
“It’s fine, Dahyun; I’ll come pick you up right now.” Dahyun thanks you for taking the time out of your day to pick her up and hangs up. It takes you a few extra minutes, but you can figure out where she lives; you had only briefly come by to drop her off the time you had been to her place. As you roll into the front of the building, you see Dahyun sitting on the steps, tending to her baby in her carrier. “Dahyun!” You yell from your care. You notice Dahyun shake a little as she hears her name be yelled. You thought it was cute; the moment she saw you, she put on a huge smile, and her cheeks became rosy. Stepping out of the car, you take Eunsoo’s carrier in hand and help Dahyun settle her into the back seat. “Little Eunsoo is growing.” You comment. Dahyun glances at you with a smile.
“She’s getting too big; I want her to stay tiny.” Dahyun moves the hair out of Eunsoo’s eyes before closing the door and making her way into the passenger seat. “Do you remember where the daycare is?”
“I’m going to be honest. I barely remembered where you lived; you’ll need to put it into the GPS.” Dahyun puts in the directions, and you begin your drive to the daycare.
“I’m sorry about this. I usually get the bus; it was so late today and-”
“I said it’s fine, Dahyun. It’s really not a problem.” You rub Dahyun’s hair, making a mess of it. You hear her whine and glance over at her. She’s feigning anger; you can tell as much. When you look back at the road, Dahyun turns the other way, her face becoming bright red for a moment. “The office is going to think we’re a couple when we come in together.” You tease.
Dahyun flails her arms into your shoulder, “Don’t say that!” As much as Dahyun liked the idea of being seen as your girlfriend, the idea of her coworkers talking about it made her embarrassed.
“I don’t know, you’re pretty cute, Dahyun.” Dahyun is stunned for a moment, unable to conjure any words. She places her head against the car’s window and stays silent in defeat until you reach the daycare. She quickly handed Eunsoo off to the daycare worker, along with all the things Eunsoo would need, before hopping back in the car.
“All set, let’s get going.” You and Dahyun talk a little more during your ride to the office. You get to know her a little better, and she tells you that you’re free to come by her house if you ever need something. 
You park the car and step out; going over to Dahyun’s side, you open the door for her. “It’s nice of you to invite me to your home. I’ll take you up on that someday.” You start walking with Dahyun when both of you spot Jeongyeon.
“Jeongyeon! Over here!” She turns her head and spots you quickly. Dahyun jogs herself over to her friend as you walk over. Jeongyeon gives you a weak smile. She’s still struggling with her thoughts after she argued with Sana. Seeing you with Dahyun, she felt a little jealousy bubble up deep within her. 
“O-oh, what are you two doing together?” She said, stuttering as she spoke. 
“He picked me up. The bus wouldn’t be on time, so I asked if he could come for me.” Dahyun says as she wraps her arm around Jeongyeon’s. “Come on, let’s go. We have a busy day.” Jeongyeon nods her head and walks with Dahyun. You follow behind them, shaking your head as you see how happy Dahyun is, and Jeongyeon just going along with it. The workday goes on as usual, the only difference being you chose to go out to eat today. Dahyun and Jeongyeon sat together in the lunch room, eating their meal.
“Is something wrong, Jeongyeon? I noticed that you don’t seem to be your usual self.” Dahyun says as she stuffs her mouth, her cheeks full of food.
“It’s nothing, Dahyun. I’ve had a lot on my mind the past few days.”
“Anything I can help with? If you want to talk, I’m a good listener.” Dahyun says, pointing to her ears. The gag makes Jeongyeon break out a smile.
She takes a deep breath and looks around. “Dahyun, you have to promise you won’t tell anyone. Promise me.”
“I promise,” Dahyun says hesitantly, seeing the seriousness on Jeongyeon’s face.
“I-um. You know how I’m married. I haven’t been happy with my husband for a long time. I-I, Dahyun, I’ve started having an affair.”
Dahyun is stunned by Jeongyeon’s confession. “With who?” She responds. Jeongyeon glances at Dahyun before casting her eyes downward to the table. It took Dahyun a moment, but she connected the dots. “You’re…having an affair with him.” Dahyun’s breathing quickens, and she purses her lips. Her mind fills with thoughts. Since the day you and Dahyun got together, she had thought about asking you out and dreamt of what it might be like to be with you. To find out that you were Jeongyeon’s affair partner hurt her. 
“Dahyun?”
“I slept with him too!” Dahyun blurts out. She didn’t know why she said it. She should have kept it to herself, but something inside her snapped at that moment. She felt threatened. The man she had Eunsoo with abandoned her, and now she thought she had a chance at having a happy family. Dahyun felt that it was being taken away. The women stared at each other, shocked and unable to speak. Dahyun balled her fists under the table; she didn’t want to back down.
“You slept with him? When?” Jeongyeon asks, finally breaking the silence. 
In a low voice, Dahyun responds, “It was when we went shopping. When did you start your affair?”
“It was a few months ago. My friend Jihyo brought me in, and we sort of connected. I thought that was the end of things, but he got transferred here.” Dahyun nods along. 
She gulps and looks straight at Jeongyeon. “I-I want to be with him.”
“So do I,” Jeongyeon says quietly. 
“Y-you’re already married.”
“I know.” The women were at an impasse. 
At that time, another worker passed through the halls, “Hey! You two! Lunch is over, so let’s get back to work. When they come back from lunch, you’re sitting at your desk talking to other coworkers. You wave to them, and they both give you a nod before heading to their desks. Jeongyeon was right beside you, while Dahyun was far away. 
“Do you want to spend the night together?” Jeongyeon asks as soon as she sits down.
“What’s with the sudden change?” Jeongyeon huffs. “Something wrong Jeongyeon?” 
“I just want to spend the night with you.” 
“What about your husband?” You say quietly. “I mean, we spent the other day together, so I’m not sure you could get away with it.” Jeongyeon looks annoyed. It was true that spending too many days away from home would give her away. For now, she had to back down. “Oh, that reminds me. I saw Jihyo yesterday. You didn’t tell me she lived in the city.”  Jeongyeon curses herself internally. Jihyo being in the mix made things more difficult. Jeongyeon knew she had more freedom than her. “She said she wanted to come over to my place today.”
“Is that so?” Jeongyeon says, trying to keep calm. She leans in and pinches your cheek, “I’ll make time for you. We’ll be together soon.” You think it’s strange how Jeongyeon’s acting, but push it into the back of your mind. You finish the day and get ready to pack things up. When the office is empty, Jeongyeon stands up and kisses you, “Next time, I’ll let you do whatever you want,” She whispers into your ear. You’re still confused by Jeongyeon’s sudden change; her willingness to engage in your relationship is welcome but odd to you. She pats your chest and leaves. 
Soon after, Dahyun pops up beside you. “Sorry to bother you again, but could you take me to pick up Eunsoo?”
“Sure, it’s no problem.” You and Dahyun quickly head out of the office and pick up Eunsoo. When you arrive, Dahyun quickly picks her up and sits in the back, seeing that Eunsoo is a little fussy. You get to Dahyun’s home, and Eunsoo begins to cry, Dahyun struggling to calm her. “Dahyun, could I try to calm her down? You can take her stuff inside.” Dahyun is hesitant but agrees. You pick up Eunsoo and rock her gently, bouncing as you move from side to side. You and Dahyun walk inside together. She lays her stuff down and reaches out for Eunsoo. You hand her back, nearly asleep. Eunsoo rests her head on Dahyun’s chest as she rocks her.
“Wow, how did you do that?”
“I don’t know; that always worked with my little brothers and sisters. So I tried it with Eunsoo.”
“Do you think you could give me some pointers? If you have time, that is.” You check your watch and decide to help Dahyun. You spend time giving tips to Dahyun on some things she could try with Eunsoo. You’re both sitting on her couch when she places her hand on your thigh. “I want to thank you for today. I took a lot of your time. Do you want to go out sometime? So I can repay you, that is.” 
“You don’t need to do anything, Dahyun. I’m more than happy to help.”
“Um, what if we did something,” Dahyun says shyly. She squeezes your thigh, “Please?”
“But Eunsoo is sleeping in her room.”
“I can be quiet.” She says, moving to straddle you.
“Okay, Okay. We can have some fun, but let’s go to your bedroom.” Dahyun gives you a nice big smile. 
“Okay, but you wait here. I want to get ready.” Dahyun hops off of you and hurries to her bedroom. While you wait, you pull out your phone and message Jihyo, telling her something came up. 
“Aww, and I was going to wear something nice just for you. Oh well, you’ll just have to look forward to it.” She messages back with a winking face. 
You put your phone away, and not too much later, Dahyun calls you in. You step into her room and see her lying on her back with her arm covering her breasts while her hand covers her slit. Dahyun’s milky skin looks great with the sunlight passing through her large windows. You take a quick look around her room, seeing a mountain of plushes in the corner. “Ya! Don’t look at those! Look at me!” Dahyun says, waving her arms around. It allows you to see more of her body and makes you chuckle. You start to strip for Dahyun; you can feel her eyes become glued to your body. Once your cock is out of its confines, Dahyun’s entire face turns red. 
“You’re so cute when you blush.” You tell her as you climb onto her bed and begin to crawl over her body. You kiss her thighs, lingering before you move up her body. You kiss just above her slit while holding onto her thighs. You feel Dahyun shudder and look at her face. She’s smiling at you. Her chest rises and falls slowly as she takes deep breaths. You move up, kissing her stomach and reaching her breasts. Your hands are wandering around her lower body, touching and squeezing her. You first kiss the space between her breasts before moving the left and capturing her rosy nipple in your mouth. Dahyun releases a soft whine as she tries to keep quiet. Moving your tongue around her nipple, you move your right hand up to her other breast. Using your finger, you mimic your tongue’s movement. You suck on her nipple lightly and feel her milk begin to leak out. Dahyun turns her head to the side and shuts her eyes, relishing the pleasure. Your thigh moves higher, getting between Dahyun’s legs and touching her slit. Feeling it, Dahyun starts to grind against your leg, her juices coating it. 
You move up again, finally coming face-to-face with Dahyun. She’s red and seemingly out of breath already. As you kiss her, Dahyun wraps her arms around your neck, holding you in place. You lightly pull on her nipple, forcing her to break the kiss to moan. “I’m ready,” Dahyun moans as she spreads her lips for you with one hand; the other grasps your cock, giving it a slow stroke. “I need it.” Dahyun places your cock under her slit, rubbing the head slowly. “Give it to me.” You kiss Dahyun as you align yourself with her. With one movement, you ram yourself into Dahyun’s cunt. Her warm and slippery walls allow you to move in with ease. Her moans are muffled, and she holds you tighter as you begin to thrust. You slide in and out with ease; with each thrust, you try to push yourself deeper into her cunt. Dahyun’s constant moans grow louder, and when you break the kiss, she lets out a roar. 
“You said you could be quiet.” You grunt between thrusts.
“It feels too good. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She repeats. Dahyun wraps her legs around you. She forces you in deeper. You can see the pleasure on her face as she nears her climax. “Shit, I'm cumming.”
“Cum for me, Dahyun.” She follows your words like they were an order. Dahyun pulls you in close as she cums on your cock. Her walls grow tight around you. You bury yourself inside Dahyun, giving her time to recover. 
She’s covered in sweat. Dahyun cups your cheek, her hand shaking. “You didn’t cum yet.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll cum soon enough.” You pull out of Dahyun and help her onto her stomach before pulling on her waist to get her on all fours. You admire Dahyun’s beautiful and soft skin; your eyes move down her back. You notice just how small her waist is compared to her hips. You think about making a joke about her having childbearing hips but decide against it. Your eyes move further downward to her pale ass. You place your hand on it, squeezing it before delivering a quick smack. Dahyun moans from the hit. You weren’t expecting that reaction, but you loved hearing Dahyun moan, so you smack her ass again. This time, you watch her add jiggle and see a hand print beginning to form on her pale skin. Refocusing, you push your cock back into Dahyun’s pussy and take hold of her arms, pulling them back. As you begin thrusting, you notice Dahyun planting her face on a pillow. As you try to pull her head up, Dahyun brings the pillow. She was biting it in an attempt to stifle her moans. You admire Dahyun’s determination to stay quiet.
As you ram your cock back inside, you focus on Dahyun’s pussy. Reveling in the way her walls squeezed your cock. Dahyun’s soft ass was great, too; it made you want to thrust harder. You let go of Dahyun’s arms and watch her upper body collapse onto the bed as you hold onto her waist. Dahyun began to warn you that she was cumming again. Her high-pitched whines came constantly, and her walls tightened around your cock once more. You felt yourself nearing your orgasm, too. Your grip on Dahyun’s waist grew rougher as your hands dug into her soft skin. “Dahyun, I’m cumming.”
“Inside. Inside!” Dahyun cried as her orgasm crashed into her. Her body shakes, and her cunt is tightly wound around you. You drive your cock back into her cunt, and you pull her body back, allowing you to put every inch inside her before you shoot your cum into her. You’re pouring your cum into Dahyun’s womb. She lays below you, twitching as she feels the warm liquid fill her. You remain attached to her, feeling her walls milk you. Pulling out, you lay beside Dahyun for a moment. She stays face down. You move the hair away from her eyes and see her tired smile. “That was amazing.” 
“It felt good for me too, Dahyun.” You kiss her on the forehead before laying back. You rest there for about an hour before deciding to head home. Dahyun was already asleep. You get dressed at your own pace. Choosing to write a small note thanking Dahyun, you tell her you appreciate the night and that if she wants, you could pick her up every day. You leave her home and begin walking to your car. Along the way, you spot the woman you had briefly met at the ice cream shop. She wore tight-fitting jeans that hugged her ass and a crop top. You struggle to remember her name, but considering she was making her way over, you figured she would tell you. 
“Hey, stranger. Did you finally come looking for me?”
“I don’t know who you are.”
“I’m Tzuyu; we met at the ice cream shop.”
“Right, right. I was just here dropping off a friend. I’ll be going now.” Tzuyu grabs your arm as you try to go past her. 
“Come on, handsome. We could have some fun tonight. The night’s still young. We could drink and get to know each other.”
“I’m not interested right now.”
Tzuyu huffs and lets go of your arm. “Fine, but if you ever want to get to know me, You know where I live.” She tosses you a set of keys that have her apartment number written on them. Tzuyu sticks her tongue out at you and heads to her place. 
“Don’t you need these?”
“Nope, I have another set outside,” Tzuyu says as she turns around. You shake your head and walk toward your car, finally heading home. While Tzuyu was beautiful, you still didn’t like her personality all too much. She watched you leave, thinking about how you were playing hard to get. She loved a man who did that and couldn’t wait to see what it took to get you.
 Arriving home, you lay in bed and head off to sleep.
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zeb-z · 1 year
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Something about Brasso being the kindness in this series. Warm, trustworthy, friendly, compassionate. He’s who Cassian goes to when he needs a cover, and he’s on the same page without question. He’s who takes care of Maarva the best he can while she’s still alive. He tells Bix to run the moment the Imperials are after her, no question or hesitation as he steps between her and the Imps. He’s patient with Bee when Maarva passes, encourages the old droid to help the Daughters, stays in the house with Bee when he’s asked. The first thing he does when he sees Cassian again is hug him, long and hard. He delivers Maarva’s final words, how Cassian is loved more than any wrong he could ever do. He walks Maarva’s brick down Rix road, he’s the first to start swinging at the Imps, and he drops the fight to rescue the poor kid (who’s name I can’t remember).
Something about him being the kindness in the series in the face of adversity. Loyal and compassionate. Something about how his role is crucial in this rebellion. And something about how, most importantly, he survives.
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souliebird · 7 months
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[[and then I met you || ch. 6]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.
pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
words: 1.6k
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There is a big party on the other side of the park, with lots of music and food, so the small playground is empty. That means Minnie can play on anything she wants, and she goes straight for the see-saw.
Minnie loves the see-saw. It is so fun to go up and down, up and down, up and down, and she likes the squeaky noise it makes. It's funny and it doesn't hurt her ears. 
She loves this park because it's closer to the water and things aren't always so loud. The other park is close to the road and people are always yelling and making their cars beep and she doesn't like it. The river is smelly but not as smelly as the train, so it's okay. And Mommy likes this park a lot, so that makes Minnie like it more. 
Minnie likes it when her Mommy also likes things and that makes it easy to like Mister Matt. 
He came with her and Mommy to the park and while Minnie plays, they are having Adult talks.  She doesn't listen to what they say, the big words don't make sense to her, but she can tell whatever they are talking about makes both of them happy and that makes Minnie happy. 
Mister Matt makes Mommy smile on her mouth and her heart and that's important. Sometimes Mommy's mouth smiles but her heart doesn't - like when scary people talk too loud on the street or when bad things happen, and Minnie doesn't like that. She wants her Mommy to be happy and have real smiles. 
Mister Matt's heart smiles when he's with Mommy and that makes Minnie's heart smile, too. And his voice is nice, and he knows how to do Adult things like reading and how to tie shoes and he's smart. Mister Matt knows lots of stuff, but he isn't mean when he talks to Minnie. Some people can be mean and that's rude. Mister Matt isn't ever rude - he says 'Please' and 'Thank you' without Mommy having to tell him to.  
Minnie is glad her Mommy wants to be friends with Mister Matt. Her Mommy needs more friends. Minnie has Pig and Scooby, but Mommy doesn't have Everyday friends, only Special friends. Special friends are for Birthday Parties and when they go places with lots of other kids and Minnie is supposed to play with them. 
Minnie would much rather play with Mister Matt than other kids. She hopes that when Mister Matt and Mommy are done talking, he will be able to swing with her. She thinks he will be good at the swings - he has big arms and can push Minnie extra high. 
Minnie looks over to where Mister Matt and her Mommy are sitting. They are talking in soft voices and Mister Matt is holding Mommy's hand. Both their hearts and mouths are smiling, and Mister Matt is making Mommy laugh. Mommy sees Minnie looking over at them so Minnie waves from the see-saw. Mommy waves back, then tells Mister Matt what is happening and then he is also waving at Minnie. That makes her giggle and wave back harder. 
Mommy's phone starts making noise and Minnie watches as she gets up and goes behind the bench to answer. She can still see Minnie but isn't talking into Mister Matt's ear. Mommy says talking on the phone in people's ear is rude and Mommy doesn't like being rude.
"Minnie, can you hear me?"
The voice is Mister Matt's and Minnie stops her bouncing. Mommy can't hear her unless she shouts across the park and it's rude to shout when people are on the phone, so she starts to get off the see-saw so she can go to the bench. Mister Matt speaks again before she can finish getting up.
"You don't need to stop playing, sweetheart. I can hear you from here. Can you hear me?"
Minnie plops back down onto her seat and nods, "Uh-huh. I can hears you." She talks in her normal voice, since he said he can hear her. She starts to go up and down again, smiling when the squeak returns. Mister Matt stays sitting on the bench. 
"Can I ask you some questions?" Mister Matt asks and that excites Minnie. She likes answering his questions.
"Yeah!"
"Can you tell me what else you can hear?"
That is a big question and Minnie has to close her eyes so she can Hear properly. She has to make sure she can tell Mister Matt the right things. 
Everything gets Loud as Minnie opens up her ears and the world gets a little bigger. Lots of people are talking all over each other and there's lots of words she doesn't understand. It sounds like when Mommy is looking at videos on her phone and scrolls through them fast. Words start then stop and everyone has a different voice and there's music, too. There's doggies and cats making lots of noises, too, and lots of birds. 
A certain jingle catches her attention and Minnie knows that song only comes from one place. "I hear the ice cream man," she tells Mister Matt before singing along with the song, because Mommy taught her the words. "Doooo your ears hang low! Do they wobble to and throw! Tie them in a knot, tie them in a bow! Ears hang low!"
Mister Matt laughs and smiles at her singing, and it makes Minnie giggle. His heart sounds really happy and Minnie wants to keep making him smile. She likes it when he smiles.
"Can you hear the horses?" Mister Matt asks her after she bounces a few times and she screws up her nose to listen better. Horses go clip-clop and neigh and at first, there's too much noise. It's hard to try to find the horse noises but she just has to listen extra good. She turns her head left and right to try to find where they are hidden.
Finally, she hears the horses.
The clip-clops are far away, but she can hear them, so Minnie nods and tells Mister Matt, "They don't wanna walk."  She can hear the huffy pouts the horses make, and they don't sound happy, now that she can focus on them. Sometimes, Minnie doesn't want to walk either, so she understands the sad noises. 
"No, they don't want to walk today," Mister Matt agrees and Minnie preens at doing a good job. 
She's the bestest at hearing. 
"Do the noises ever get too loud?" Mister Matt asks her and that makes Minnie frown. She doesn't like it when things get loud.
"Yeah," she says, trying to not whine. Babies whine and she's not a baby anymore. She's a big girl. But the noises get really really loud sometimes, and they hurt her ears. Then her whole head hurts really really badly and makes her want to cry. And then crying makes her head hurt even more. 
"What do you do when it gets too loud?"
Minnie doesn't even need to think about the answer because there is only one and quickly responds, "I listen to Mommy."
Mister Matt makes a funny noise, like he coughed but backwards, then asks her another question, "You listen to Mommy? How do you listen to Mommy?" 
"Her heart goes duh-duh. Duh-duh. Duh-duh. And it makes all the bad noise go away," Minnie explains. Mommy's heart is the best medicine - it makes her head not hurt and makes Minnie sleepy instead. Minnie just has to listen to her Mommy, and everything gets better again. 
Mister Matt doesn't ask another question right away, so Minnie opens her eyes and looks over at him. He's still sitting on the bench and Mommy is still on the phone, but now Mister Matt is touching his face, covering up his mouth. His teeth are making click-clack noises like Mommy's do when she works on a hard puzzle, so Minnie is going to be good and let him think. That's what Mommy always says - she's gotta think. 
Minnie goes back to listening to the horses. They are clip-clopping a lot more and Minnie pretends she is riding one of them. Bugs Bunny bounces when he rides a horse so bouncing on the see-saw must be the same and she quickly gets lost in her imagination for a while.
Minnie enjoys playing make pretend until her Mommy ends her phone call and goes back to sit by Mister Matt. They go back to Adult talking and she decides she doesn't want to see-saw anymore. 
"Woah, horsie," she tells the see-saw and stops pushing herself up and down. When it stops moving, she climbs off and pats where she was sitting as a thank you before turning and heading towards her Mommy and Mister Matt. There's space open between them and once she reaches the bench, Minnie pulls herself up. Mommy and Mister Matt reach out to help her, but she doesn't need it and plops herself down.
"Are you done playing?" Mommy asks once she's sitting proper and Minnie shakes her head.
"I wanna swing. Please," Minnie replies, making sure to use her Good Manners. She turns to look up at Mister Matt, who's already looking down at her, "Mister Matt, will you push me?"
His mouth smile gets really big before he answers, "Of course, sweetheart. I think we can figure something out." He looks back to Mommy, saying her Grown Up name, "What do you think? Do you think we can figure it out?"
Mommy laughs, a real happy laugh with a happy heart, and stands up, "I think we'll be able to figure out something just fine." 
a/n: a baby chapter for our little baby
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