#The target audience is me but is the only thing that could heal me on this times I'm living

[eky11]

I think I'm going to make a post about music I've lately been listening to and to which Ina 11 blorbos does it belong

#The target audience is me but is the only thing that could heal me on this times I'm living #(I'm back into the madness)

[sneezemonster15]

I have written a little about how Sakura is written to be irrelevant throughout the narrative by Kishi, and as a result, demeaning her character through the literary tool of subversion. Here's another example of how Kishimoto makes Sakura's character redundant and very intently makes her the laughingstock of the manga. Like I have mentioned before, he gets some kind of perverse pleasure out of showing both Hinata and Sakura down and he would go a painstakingly intricate and at times, long way to do it too.

I will be publishing a longer write up about this subversion that Kishi uses for Sakura as an answer to an ask but I am writing this particular post separately because this bunch of chapters portray a series of incidents where Kishi really does it without any subtlety and is pretty in your face about it too, like you can viscerally feel his disdain towards Sakura's character just wafting over and it has made her a huge target for ridicule, it has become a ubiquitous topic for very popular jokes and memes even outside the fandom, lol.

Okay, so the chapter I am talking about is chapter 675 where Sakura has just been kamui'd out by Obito from his space time dimension to protect her from Madara's attack after she fails to stab his rinnegan eye. But she never had much determination to speak of unless it had to do with showing off to Sasuke and Naruto, mostly Sasuke. What is interesting to notice is that it also pointedly harks back to something else that she did (or didn't do lol) with her kunai which resulted in a frustrated and (greatly) annoyed audience, courtesy Kishi.

Her nervous expression, the trembling kunai just centimetres away from its target but unable to reach it, failure to do it anyway, giving an opening to her opponent that could have easily been avoided had she been a little more resolute (no one really asked her to take on Sasuke though, that was her own decision given her poor sense of judgment, fighting strategy and skills), getting attacked by the opponent and then getting rescued by someone. Mostly Naruto.

#Redundant

Anyway. She couldn't do anything, having failed to stab Obito's eye so she is transported back by Obito and she joins Kakashi and Sasuke who are waiting for Madara to return. She sees Kakashi's condition and starts to heal him. Naruto leaves his clone to hold Madara's shadow captive with his sage of six paths staff and returns to Sasuke's side, his better half of the 'main act' of the war which has already been established at this point.

So seeing Sakura healing Kakashi, he takes over from a resisting Sakura and heals him. The ONE thing that she could do and not feel redundant in the trio is taken away from her, lolol.

He not only heals him, he gives him a brand new eye, something that is beyond the reach of prevailing medical jutsu itself. How can Sakura even hope to compete with this? Lolol. Kishi, you sadistic so and so! You won't even let her catch a break.

Naruto can't explain and doesn't even understand how he did it and it took Sakura years of effort to learn medical jutsu and achieve a stage where she could even use her mitotic regeneration jutsu. Hahahahaha.

#Redundant

Okay, now then, Sasuke tells Naruto to keep his guard up while Sakura is acting like her usual pointlessly high handed self trying to condescend to Naruto who just made her presence utterly pointless, and Kakashi starts to reminisce about team seven dynamic. Kakashi, a man who has a very shallow understanding of his team members (he thinks Sakura's love has changed from what it was and that she is kind and gentle lol) and not at all about Sasuke, which he thankfully admits.

But what's funny to me is that Kishi was totally focusing on showing Sakura down, mercilessly. So Kakashi is seen reminiscing about their first day in team seven.

Sakura squealing like a typical immature fangirl crushing over an entirely disinterested and quite embarrassed boy, while having no other goal or objective. While Naruto announces his goal to surpass the current hokage, Sasuke divulges his ambition of restoring his clan's honour and killing Itachi, Sakura just blushes and squeals.

Kakashi thinks she is kind and gentle (because of course he has never seen Sakura treating Naruto, at times even a badly injured Naruto, like a punching bag and manipulating him and everyone else for her ill conceived plans), she has grown and her love for Sasuke has matured because she still cares about him even though he tried to kill her in kage arc. Oh sure, running after a boy and begging for his attention no matter what the circumstances or timing is totally what a mature woman would do, lol. Thing is, he has got blinders on when it comes to Sakura because he obviously very conveniently forgets that Sakura attacked Sasuke first, in fact, she went there with the sole intention of killing Sasuke, while not knowing the truth but suspecting something, after having orchestrated a plan that included fake confessing to Naruto (#rejected lol), drugging her team mates and armed with a puny poisoned kunai which she didn't have the presence of mind to deduce would be pointless against Sasuke who trained with Orochimaru for years, some medical ninja, lol.

Kakashi treats her with kid gloves and doesn't understand Sasuke's feelings or motivations given his own lack of perception and failure to understand the intricacies of emotions and relationships, he makes a lot of faux pas when it comes to his team seven members. Kishi knows that these are the questions any reader would ask since these elements were given such consistent visibility in the manga and such consistent characterisation to the players, he is not an idiot. So he uses indirect and subtle techniques and narrative elements, and forces the reader to ask questions and then provides the answers. How? By showing, not telling. Okay, a little telling as well.

Kishi has already established, through Kakashi's interactions with Obito, that Kakashi is definitely flawed as he writes him to admit that he tried his best but he made mistakes.

And that it can be contributed to his past, when he lost his father so cruelly along with his team mates. He also admits that giving false hope to Sakura when Sasuke is about to abandon Konoha was wrong. And what this proves is that Kakashi isn't infallible. His hypocrisy is very apparent when the core of his principle is to cherish his comrades and yet couldn't even attempt to understand Sasuke, given Sasuke's excruciatingly disturbing and scarring past. And even at the end, he expects Sasuke to behave and acts like it was all Sasuke's fault, not having understood him at all. The reason Sasuke gave up at the end was due to the revelatory experience he had with Naruto in chapter 698. Kakashi is emotionally stunted, perhaps which is why he is so good at being an ideal shinobi. A shinobi doesn't cry, doesn't emote, doesn't complain, doesn't break orders and protects his village with his life. Anyway, what becomes clear is that Kakashi's emotional perception is quite affected and far from accurate for sure.

Anyway, so Kakashi reminisces about what he perceives as the team seven dynamic after Naruto heals his eye and then reminds Sasuke of the first lesson he taught them when they were rookies. Sasuke remains meaningfully silent and only grunts. He obviously has a very low opinion of Kakashi, justifiably, as was established in kage arc and the succeeding chapters after this one emphasize it even more. Heh.

So what does 'Team Seven' decide on?

TEAMWORK.

Where was this notion of Team seven teamwork emphasized on the last time before this? Here.

Where Sakura is seen nursing her past insecurities and ramping her ego to join Naruto and Sasuke in the fight because she can't tolerate being protected by them anymore like a damsel in distress.

She thought she was a full fledged kunoichi after passing her genin exams, lol.

Anyway, so she doesn't want to gaze at the boys' back, meaning being shielded or protected by them, as they proceed to take on their opponent. And she manages to punch and make a dent while insulting her own sensei, like some badass that she definitely thinks she is, it becomes quite clear from her body language and expression.

Problem is, her feeling so good about herself (I have finally caught up to them) and acting like a badass is very disproportionate with her actual actions and contribution to the battle. Which is why it creates a dissonance in the reader's mind. As she keeps pulling the same shit over and over without changing or improving things, even after having certain realizations, she creates a negative impression of herself in the audience's mind. She doesn't evolve to be better in a manga where characters learn and grow as a rule which then contributes to the main plot, this is a coming of age story as well after all. Same with Hinata.

Btw, Hashirama saying her strength might be greater than Tsunade doesn't mean shit. Because he actually hasn't seen what his grand-daughter is capable of. Her strength is greater than Raikage, as Madara notices after fighting all the kages. Someone as strong as Naruto struggled to fight against Raikage when he tried to stop him from joining the war effort and so Bee had to intervene on his behalf. She couldn't even fight average cloud ninjas Omoi and Karui, lol. Like c'mon, they aren't even portrayed as some super strong, special ninjas, they are a hardly more than comedy fodder. But Kishi won't even let Sakura take some fodder level ninjas, lol, it's embarrassing. And what happens? Naruto comes to her rescue, as always. Heh. No way Sakura is stronger than Raikage, lol.

Why does Kishi do things like these? These obvious contradictions that he knows are very visible to anyone who pays attention? Especially with Sakura, where other characters like Kakashi, Shizune, Hashirama and Jiraiya remark positively about Sakura? To build expectations, make the reader anticipate some awesome action from Sakura, something that would actually justify these positive remarks in the narrative, building the premise of the action, escalating it, but then right at the moment of dramatic and narrative payback, 👎. He makes Sakura fail pathetically (he does the same thing with Hinata) by subverting the narrative development and tropes, by not satisfying the readers' expectations that he so painstakingly develops, by writing the most anti-climactic of actions at the end. No payback whatsoever. What does an actual payback look like? Cue Might Guy's opening all of the eight gates, when he smashes Madara's ribs in as he breaks his own bones in the process. Cue Tsunade grunting like a warrior goddess as she thrashes Madara's clone beyond recognition. Even Sakura when she punches the ground real hard and takes out little juubi soldiers.

He sadistically wastes all that effort that builds up the anticipation.

And what does doing that achieve? Simple. It makes the reader get really annoyed/dissatisfied with the character. And they feel compelled to berate or ridicule her character. And why won't they? They invested in the character and his/her actions in the narrative for a grand payback, watching multiple episodes or reading multiple chapters carefully, and when they don't get it, they would naturally be frustrated. Kishi consistently pulls this shit over and over again with Sakura and Hinata. And why would he go to such lengths to do shit like this? Well, it's not because he wants to make these ladies look credible or worthy. Heheh.

This is exactly why fans who don't see everything through rose coloured glasses, shipping lenses or have a good taste and a good understanding of characters and the human condition, and actually pay attention to what they are watching or reading, are so annoyed by these characters. Notice I am not saying disgusted or hateful (although some of y'all are) but mostly really annoyed and frustrated. Sakura and Hinata, more than anything else (although they are all those things too, like distasteful, boring and cringey lol), are simply annoying. Because of the reason I explained above.

Kishi is fucking relentless about it too. After this sense that he gives the reader of team seven dynamic, he pulls this shit here. No Sakura, no team. Just Naruto and Sasuke being the main act.

After which, we see Naruto and Sasuke fighting together or separately, but not with the team. But after they are given the sage of six paths power by Hagoromo, they fight together, well in sync with each other. Like they are meant to be. Sasuke bosses Naruto around, like usual, Naruto complains nostalgically but you can see he is totally enjoying it to the hilt. And both of them get shit done. Naruto stops Madara's shadow successfully as Sasuke skillfully slashes Madara's physical body in half. But before he can react further, Madara flies to Kakashi, steals his sharingan and just shoves it in his socket, because it really is that simple lol, enters Obito's space time dimension and attacks Sakura. Now Sakura has no idea about Madara's powers, not having fought him at all directly, and definitely not having fought with the juubi jinchuuriki Madara. So where on the one hand, you see Sasuke and Naruto thoughtfully device strategies to fight Madara, Sakura actually is totally clueless. But Kakashi reminds them of 'teamwork'.

So then Madara finally appears and then this happens.

Hahahahaha. Teamwork? What teamwork?Sakura doesn't even know what Madara's strengths or weaknesses are. And just as expected, he stabs her in the chest and stops her punch with his Limbo jutsu. Payback? What payback? Readers who sympathized with Sakura? Disappointed. Readers who wanted returns on their investment, disappointed. But people who understood what she was really like? Vindication. Lol.

She did the same thing here that Hinata does in Pein arc, when she charges at Pein without putting any thought into it. Hinata did it to attract Naruto's attention. And why did Sakura do it?

And what happened in both cases? Long build up resulting in them getting struck with a single hit and then being rescued by someone else. Naruto doesn't even acknowledge Hinata and Sakura droops because Sasuke ain't paying attention to her. So much for team work. Lol.

But what impression does it give to the reader?

1) Sakura's love for Sasuke didn't really evolve did it? It's the same when in part one, she climbs the tree by gathering chakra in her feet to impress Sasuke but Sasuke doesn't pay attention to her and she slumps, highly disappointed. Same as here.

2) She makes it look like she is creating an opening by using a diversionary tactic, but it's quite obvious she is really scared, but is still trying to show off to Naruto and Sasuke because she doesn't wanna stay behind, gazing at their backs again. So she attacks Madara blindly. Her desire to show off and strut around trumps her desire to actually defeat Madara. What a shinobi, lol. This is a freaking war, and she is fighting against a super strong villain who is bent on destroying their world as they know it, but she is more concerned with nursing her own shortcomings. Self centred, yes. And definitely not a badass. Just ass. Hehe.

After getting rescued by Naruto yet again, she wallows in sadness when Sasuke doesn't even glance at her but immediately calls for Naruto, who btw totally gets what he is indicating at without needing to say it out loud. Yay, team seven. Lol. So while Sasuke and Naruto get into form and fight Madara, what does Sakura do?

Precisely nothing. Just sitting there in awe of Sasuke and Naruto. Spellbound at Madara's jutsu and power, that she didn't know zilch about. Kakashi is pretty pointless here as well, but he wasn't the one who just proclaimed they remembered the teamwork lesson and jumped in a fight without any plan. At least, he had the presence of mind to stop Sakura from joining in the fight when Naruto and Sasuke charge at Madara and she again finds herself watching their backs, as he tells her to not do it unless she has a plan. And she does stop, lol. She doesn't have the power or strategy, just ego. All she wants is to impress Sasuke and show off to Naruto and others, who cares there's a war going on? Lol.

3) It becomes pretty clear who the real team is here. And Sakura is very pointedly missing from it. And it stays that way till the end, staying true to the real team seven dynamic. The Main Act.

So after hyping up the team work element, Kishi discards Sakura's inclusion with a ruthless but consistently written treatment and makes her...?

Redundant.

She couldn't heal Kakashi, she couldn't punch Madara. And she didn't mature, like Kakashi believed. Still pretty useless. Lol.

I am aware that her stans only read the most surface level. How else would they justify something they invest so much in? But unfortunately, it's a fact and not a matter of opinion that Kishi never intended to portray her positively and he certainly puts a hell lot of effort to do so in a clever manner. It's not a coincidence that she (along with Hinata) is such a hated character. It's because she has been portrayed that way. Storytelling and visual language are intuitive by nature. All I am doing here is decoding them. I am writing here what you already know. I am just explaining the how of it. Excuse the digressions lol.

#naruto #haruno sakura #anti sakura #anti ss #uzumaki naruto #uchiha sasuke #sasuke #sasunaru #narusasu #kakashi #anti hinata #naruto meta

[mossycobbld]

Drawing a reminder to MarkxAmber using evidence from the comics as well (bear in mind is been over 10 years since I read it so some details remain iffy)

Amber had to always shove her feelings down for Mark, every time he disappears she doesn't have the luxury to call him, she doesn't have the luxury of thinking "well he's going to come back", she doesn't even have the luxury of being angry at him because whatever it is it has to be important (whether or not it really is important)

In the comics she hung out with someone and had a coffee date. He got a call from work asking him to come in and she already prepared a speech about how she won't be upset and she's okay with him going into work.

He told her he already told them no because he already promised to spend time with her and besides they had other people who could do the job and who didn't have other obligations.

Mark CANNOT DO THAT!

At this point this man is nothing more than a friend, he has no powers, but he does have an important job he loves and YET he can make time for coffee while Mark is always on Call.

In the show they had... something approximating a normal work life balance for about 5 minutes. Like Rex Splode promising to cover for Invincible for a night or two. And he told Cecil he needed a few nights off.

Not perfect by any means, but Mark did acknowledge that Amber was important and he was willing to push back and try for her.

Only for disaster to immediately strike.

And that shattered any illusion of a normal life with Mark and Amber. Amber will always be a target, Amber won't be able to fight back. She could be killed in less than a moment the only reason she wasn't killed was Anissa didn't want to kill her.

Even if Mark could keep his promises every time (which he obviously couldn't) this was always how it would end.

She can't talk about her dead grandpa (a moment most people need love and support through) because the world will always be ending, Mark is always healing from a fight. They can't go on a date because even if they succeeded and Mark managed not to fight the fight could just as easily come to him.

A parallel to his dad: Mark's mom knew from the beginning that Nolan was a superhero. Amber didn't.

Every moment Nolan did spend with Debbie he did try to make it romantic, he prioritized her, he went out to romantic dinners often, he flew her across countries, he spent time with her and even then Debbie said he was hardly around.

Even with Nolan refusing to join a team, even with Nolan refusing to work for Cecil, even with Nolan in at least one point, refusing to fight saying "Let Cecil earn his paycheck."

There is a metaphor there for the work life balance that appeals to me because I have a jard time setting boundaries. And I've been in Amber's shoes and Mark's shoes.

Neither are fun. But she had every right to walk away and I applaud her strength to make herself a priority and for the show going so far to show that she is right to leave and Mark was also right for being Invincible

I AGREE WITHH THIS STRONGLLYYYY

nolan — being one of marks important people in his life despite not being around incredibly often — had Definitely influenced mark’s relationship with amber. thinking it was fine to lie, to leave abruptly, etc etc. which made sense to some of the audience as well (ahem ahem , amber haters), the mindset that “Oh, mark is leaving because hes a superhero, he has things to do”. theyre only looking at marks perspective and refusing to look at ambes. and while that might be true that he has some form of obligation to save the world, who Wouldnt be upset that your partner up and leaves you. who wouldnt be upset that your partner lies and makes excuses, maybe even sometimes not making excuses?

which is why i think the choice that spiderman makes in one of the older movies to decline a relationship with MJ to keep her safe is a good choice. because unless youre prepared enough to balance school, relationships, and being a superhero, you have to make a decision because you cant have it all. which is something that is touched on in episode seven in season two. mark has to make a choice. because you cant forget that its only a choice, its a choice between putting yourself in danger, or putting yourself AND your loved ones in danger.

ambers character doesnt have an “improvement” from season 1. ive seen the comic dudebros say this. she only feels like she “improved” compared to season 1 because they dont like it when the girl dating the superhero doesnt comply with everything the superhero does. and lets be honest, its more than just trope divergence that makes those dudebros hate amber, and we all know it.

basically mark was never taught how to balance those lives personally. but he has definitely been influenced by his parents relationship. because of that influence, it lead to mark and ambers breakup.

let me know if i worded anything wrong because i suck at articulation 😓😓

#invincible #mark grayson #amber bennett #misogynoir at it yet again.. #i love you amber bennett they could never make me hate you

[mintywolf]

A Long Road Home - Page 40 Author Notes

Page 40

She culled the Karens. ;)

Also alas Imogen can’t use Mage Hand to get things off high shelves at work because some customer would complain. Probably Esther Hayes.

In Ye Olden Times when the theory of humors in disease was still prevalent (debunked with the advent of germ theory in the 1850s but the practices based on it remained in common use until the late 19th century* ) the first treatment given to a patient would be to rid them of “excess” humors by bloodletting and inducing vomiting, doubtless rendering an already miserable person even moreso. Leeches, fire cupping, or a lancet were used for the former, and mustardseed or antimonials (made with the toxic metal antimony :[ ) were used for the latter. Mustardseed was also used to make poultices for sore throats and respiratory ailments. Licorice was used for sore throats and itchy skin. Baths from epsom salts or oatmeal were (and are) used to relieve the itchiness from rash-causing diseases like the one the town is currently experiencing.** Quinine was actually mostly used for malaria so one person is confused about what’s going around. Belladonna (aka deadly nightshade), although toxic, actually had some effectiveness as a preventative for scarlet fever if taken early after exposure. And laudanum, as I have mentioned before, was used for everything. So there’s some context for all the assorted shopping lists bombarding Imogen over the first three panels.

(* which I mention because Exandria’s technological level as of C3 seems to be early Industrial Era, although my Gelvaan aesthetic also has some 1880s and 1930s elements. And magical healing seems to be reserved for the privileged, given the high cost of healing potions, how many strings the relatively-anonymous Bells Hells had to pull to get help for Laudna, and the number of people who seem genuinely surprised when FCG offers them healing out of kindness. Most people probably rely on home remedies.)

** which hasn’t been made obvious yet but it will on the next page. You can see some suggestion of the eponymous scarlet on Imogen’s neck in the bottom left panel though.

So a long time and several fandoms ago a friend used to give me a hard time about my over-reliance on melodramatic Victorian novel disease as a plot device (specifically, targeting the heroine — or her best beloved — with it) so I imposed a rule on myself that I could only deploy it once per fandom (with the assumption that I’d have a different audience every time) and it had to drive the story forward. And friends, the time has come.

But I mean, come on. I couldn’t hang that gun on the wall and not have it go off and hit one of them.

This fandom’s enthusiasm for sickfics and whump in general has relaxed my stance a bit though. Before coming here I didn’t realize it was an entire genre and moreover, one that seems to target Imogen almost exclusively. If I had I might have leaned towards the alternative I also considered where Imogen tries futilely to convince an angry mob that obviously Laudna didn’t curse the town with a plague if she has it too. But then they’d be on the run before she had a chance to recover (you know, like after she got resurrected no I’m not still salty about it*** ) which isn’t a very satisfying chapter end. But fear not, this is all reciprocated in a later chapter.

A common thread I’ve noticed in sick Imogen fics though is that Laudna always seems to be much more calm and reassuring about it than she should be, haha. Imogen is the only thing in the world she genuinely cares about and she’s already half convinced that she’s always just a few missteps away from losing her forever. She’d be panicking.

(*** this is a lie. Also you know what else I’m still mad about? That she didn’t get that lil gryphon toy!! She clearly wanted it, she went in looking for a toy because she was feeling vulnerable and childlike and wanted the comfort of something simple intended to make a child happy. (Which is even more clear now since she was in the same regressive emotional state then as she has been recently after Ashton ate the lava shard, which she coped with by making another doll.) Fearne bought it and totally forgot about it. :( We could have had another meat-named doll character this entire time!!!

#a long road home #author notes

[lanternouslobster]

How did you feel on TPOT 7? Overall I didn't really like it much besides Donut and the EXITORs but that seems to be an unpopular sentiment lol. I can elaborate more on it if you want but I wanna hear your thoughts first lol

I'm gonna be honest, it's gonna take a bit for me to process the episode due to how heavy it was in plotlines and character arcs, so most of my thoughts on it is the raw emotional experience that only watching a just-posted TPOT episode at midnight could cause. Also, all of these thoughts are Clock. He's the only one I can think about at the moment.

I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH. HE IS EVERYTHING TO ME. THE TRAGEDY. THE KNOWING THAT HE'S ENTIRELY IN THE FAULT FOR THE RIFT BETWEEN HIM AND WINNER.

He's clinging on sososo hard to any chance that he could feel loved and wanted again but it's causing him to push away anyone he could've had a real bond with. The way he wants to fix things with Winner,,, it's not because he wants them to be happy. It's because he still thinks Winner is the savior to all of his trauma and abandonment issues. The problem is, he's dumping all that expectation onto Winner without communicating or even forming any bond with them first. He doesn't understand that they're not some salvation like he thinks Loser could have been because he's blinded by his parasocial faith that Loser is perfect in every way and could save him— so surely Winner could do the same, right?

"The team is better off without you." Even disliking Clock, how could Winner say that to him? Don't they realize how harsh that is? I don't think they know about Clock's experience with The Losers. They don't understand that they're repeating the same sentiment that has already been drilled into Clock's head— that he's inconsequential. That he doesn't matter. That if he was gone, if he was dead, then everyone would move on just fine without him.

I cannot stress enough the amount of desperation and despair I think that Clock could be feeling from the situation. It's just,,,, RAAGHHHH THE ANGST POTENTIAL. I know JnJ will likely never take that sort of approach to Clock's mindset on death and his own worth, as it would likely delve into a territory a bit beyond the target audience, but I think that there's so much there and that Clock needs to heal and learn that his own worth is not tied to the attention of others. He cannot keep putting the responsibility of his own self-esteem onto the people around him.

I know that you most certainly wanted more than just an analysis on Clock's arc, but I really only have the energy to talk about this and this alone. I'll probably talk about Robot Flower and Fanny and the like in separate posts, and I can tag you in those if you'd like.

#bfdi #tpot #osc #tpot 7 spoilers #bfb clock #bfb winner

[artficlly]

face the music (chapter one)

Music College Marvel AU

!frat!musician!bucky x !frat!musician!steve x !musician!femreader

You are a scholarship student at Stark's College of Music. After accidentally showing up the college's elite group with your singing at the Annual Showing. They aren't happy with you, nor are you with all the extra unwanted attention. But you can't help but notice that two of the school elites - Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers - have taken a particular interest in you.

This fic includes a lot of heavy past abuse and the healing journey from that, theres a lot of feminine rage sprinkled in between but please read at your own risk!

Warnings: angst, violence, choking, alcohol, swearing, john walker (lol), vague mentions of homophobia, sexism, mentions of sex

Word Count: 3k

A/N: might change the name of this but this fic has been sitting in my little brain for so long. hope u enjoy, let me know your thoughts!! <3 not proof read btw

chapter masterlist | main masterlist

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You couldn’t help but wonder if attending this party was a mistake. 

You were surprised that you had even been invited to the party, alongside the rest of your group. Word on the street was that Group A - the elite of the Stark’s College of Music - were absolutely pissed with Group B for the stunt you had all pulled at the Annual Showing. But what worried you more was the fact that most of that anger had been directed at you. 

You were a scholarship student, a pianist and singer. You kept relatively to yourself the last year, never really interacting outside your social circle, so when Sharon, the usual lead singer, had fallen ill on the night of the Annual Showing… it had fallen to you. Group A had catered their entire musical set to beat Sharon - who they had known would be Group B’s lead singer. They knew which notes she couldn’t hit, how to beat her with minimal effort. When you had taken the stage and absolutely crushed any hope with a killer cover of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’? Group A hadn’t stood a chance. Natasha Romanoff, who was Group A’s lead singer, hadn't stopped giving you death glares all week. Group B had won the night, the audience's hearts and a huge target on their backs. 

The bass of the speaker shook the walls as you searched through the bottles of spirits displayed on the kitchen island. You had to give it to Bucky, Steve, Sam and Clint - they knew how to throw a party. Frat parties weren’t usually your thing - being more of a stoner than a drinker - but you and your group couldn’t help but tempt fate by attending. You had to admit you were nervous, waiting for Natasha to jump out at you and attack you for showing her up. Your eyes flickered up the the rest of your group as you poured yourself a drink into the cleanest looking red solo cup you could find. 

Sharon and Loki seemed to be deep in some discussion you didn’t have enough energy to interpret. Probably about Die Hard, they had been arguing about that all afternoon until MJ practically begged them to shut up. Loki had been your roommate, along with his brother Thor and his girlfriend Jane for some time now. Peter, the youngest of the group, was caught up staring dreamily at MJ (who hadn't looked in his direction in over ten minutes, instead observantly watching a game of beer pong between Yelena and her girlfriend Kate.) Peter had been in love with her for as long as you knew him, and it was kind of tortuous watching the two of them dance around each other. Yelena and Kate, on the other hand, were practically shoving their tongues down each other's throats at any given opportunity. You could only wonder if the only reason Natasha hadn’t murdered everyone was because of her soft spot for Yelena. They had gone to high school together, basically joined at the hip until Kate came into the picture. They always referred to each other as sisters.

Raising the cup to your mouth for a sip, you held back a wince. Definitely too strong for how sober you were. Looking across the room, you observed the chaos. Sam and Clint were in the corner trying to maneuver a couch around the corner to make room for another beer pong table. Natasha and Wanda hadn’t arrived yet - apparently too busy gossiping back at their apartment.  You eyes looked over Bucky for a moment, he was across the room, leaning on a table next to Steve. The two of them seemed deep into a quiet conversation. Bucky’s arms were crossed over his chest, light bouncing off the metal side. You didn’t know how he had lost it - there were lots of stories floating around. Car crash, bitten off by a bear, the more you listened the more ridiculous they got. Bucky and Steve were both enigmas to the public - but the fangirls who tuned into the College’s livestreams loved them. You didn’t know how to perceive them, having only exchanged brief looks or words. You knew they came from money - most of the Group A did other than Scott. Scott was a scholarship like yourself, you had talked a fair bit and smoked together a lot more. He was probably upstairs at that exact moment smoking. You quickly diverted your eyes from Bucky and Steve’s direction, as the two of them glanced over at you with an unimpressed look. You quickly rushed to Loki’s side, tonight was not a good night to push it. 

“Y/N, please talk some sense into Sharon!” Loki near-shouted at you as you arrived. With a groan you look over to Sharon, who just gave you an exasperated look. You swore Sharon and Loki needed to get restraining orders against each other, from the amount of time they spent arguing about menial shit.

“If you guys are talking about Die Hard again-” You start only for the two of them to practically implode in front of you. You gulp, what a mistake mentioning that.

“It’s a Christmas movie!” Sharon practically screamed, you winced, hiding behind your cup. Yup. Definitely a mistake.

“No it’s not-” Loki started, before you elbowed him in the side with an exaggerated groan.

“Oh my god!” You shout with a strained laugh, Sharon just threw her hands up in the air with a look of ‘I give up’. You would need to thank her one day for all the times she had conveniently dropped a discussion with Loki for the sanity of others. Sharon walked off to go bug Peter who was still drooling at the sight of MJ. Your eyes fell back to where Bucky and Steve had been, the two of them still watching you intently. They would only be more intimidating if Natasha was at their side. You shiver and shift closer to Loki who wrapped his arm around your shoulders with a chuckle, having observed where your gaze lay.

“I swear they are planning revenge, or something. Why else would they invite us?” You whisper from behind your cup, tapping your foot to the beat of the song that was blaring over the speaker nearby.

“I don’t know, but I sure do love rubbing it in their faces,” Loki replied with a chuckle, squeezing your shoulder. You just roll your eyes in response, downing the last of your drink with a wince. You would need a lot of alcohol in your system to survive tonight, fuck this party was defeintly a mistake. Maybe you could sneak upstairs and find Scott? He would definitely provide a drama-free night. 

 As if on cue, Natasha and Wanda entered the room, Natasha catching your eye as she gave you the filthiest look you could imagine. Going upstairs would be a death-wish now, Natasha would most certainly take it as a sign to come have some ‘words’ with you. With a small squeak, you wriggle out of Loki’s grip and return to the kitchen to put the kitchen island between you and her. You had heard about how Natasha had knocked out some girls' teeth for being homophobic towards Yelena and Kate. You intended to keep all your teeth tonight. And your dignity. Getting blackout drunk seemed like the best solution now. 

Busying yourself with making another drink, you feel a hand wrap around your waist. You roll your eyes, expecting it to be Loki. He had a tendency to be cuddly while tipsy, but also aware enough to pick up on other distress. And you were definitely in distress at the knowledge that Natasha was currently looking you up and down like her next fucking meal. You clench your jaw, not losing teeth tonight. Nope. Turning to face Loki with a smile, you are stunned into silence. Your smile falls from your face as a very drunk looking John Walker pins you against the kitchen island. 

“There you are, you fuckin’ bitch,” John slurs, laughing down at you. You can smell whiskey and tobacco on his breath as you try to squeeze out of his grip. John Walker was an open book, rich boy who paid his way into Group A with the hope of fame and little effort. From the look and conversations you had witnessed him in, it seemed not even the rest of his group liked him. Of course, it had to be you that he wanted to pick a fight with tonight.

“Let me go!” You say, placing your palms on his chest and pushing. He doesn’t budge, instead laughing at your feeble attempts. Even if he was a total burnout, running on Daddy’s money, he worked out. You supposed he would have to, from the amount of fist fights he got into. You had heard all the horror stories from Yelena and Kate. It was almost guaranteed that on a night out with John he would get into some kind of altercation. 

“Chill, chill, I just want to ask you a couple questions,” John says. You look around helplessly, trying to catch Loki’s eye but he’s too caught up arguing with Sharon again. Across the room, Bucky and Steve frown at you but make no movements. Bastards. You knew they were mad at you, but were they really going to put you at the mercy of John fucking Walker? 

“What questions?” You squeak out, leaning back hard against the island as John leans closer into your face. You contemplate your options, as you struggle in his grip. Maybe you could knee him in the balls? Or try to climb onto the island over to the other side?

“Whose dick did you suck?” He asks with a drunken smirk. You’re stunned into silence for a moment, what the fuck?

“What?” You sputter, pushing harder against his chest. The island cutting into your back is surely going to leave a bruise if he keeps this up. If you can just get a little room between the two of you, maybe you could wriggle your way out. You cast a sidelong glance at an empty bottle of beer beside you. Or stab him. Murder could also be a viable option at this point. If Natasha was going to knock out your teeth, John would knock off your fucking head.

“Oh… come on… You scholarship bitches, you really think we don’t know? Half of you don’t have an ounce of talent, just a bunch of whores who fuck their way in. Now come on… who did you fuck to get in?” John slurs with a chuckle. You gave him a confused look, did he really… think that? Was that what those elite bastards had been spouting about you to make themselves feel better, when a few of them had their parents buy them a spot in? 

“I didn’t fuck anyone!” You shout, though it’s lost in the loud music and party chatter. No one seems to notice your distress, or if they do they are ignoring it. You are pushing against his chest, trying to gain some leverage as he gets closer and closer to you, your chest practically flush against each other as you leans your head back as far as possible

“Don’t… don’t lie.” John chuckles, “You must’ve, you must’ve fucked someone to win the Annual Showing. Group A hasn’t lost that since the 90’s, come on, I won’t judge you, you fuckin’ whore.”

You open your mouth to reply, but John lifts one of the hands trapping you against the island, and wraps it around your throat. You try to fight back, squirming but his body is pressed so tightly against yours that you can’t budge. He pulls your face close to his, leaning in, his hot breath making you close your eyes with a wince.

“You know, Nat has been bitchin’ about killin’ you all week. Maybe I’ll do it for her, y’know, as a favor,” he chuckles. Your eyes fly open as you struggle in his grip harder, trying to leverage yourself to kick him between the legs. John only squeezes harder as you make desperate choking noises. You knew that John was to be avoided when drunk, you knew that his father helped cover up all the stupid drunk violence he got into… but this? He was insane, he had to be. Right now, losing your teeth to Natasha’s first sounded much more appealing and less deadly. A roaring sound fills your ears as you try to push John away, blind panic taking over, trying to gasp for air as John laughs at your struggle.

From the corner of your eye, you see some figures rushing over. You can only pray it’s someone who doesn’t want you dead at that very moment, you could definitely imagine Natasha sitting back and enjoying your struggle. Your throat and chest are burning, vision graying as you struggle harder, nails digging into the fabric of John’s shirt. He’s going to kill you, all you can feel is panic and terror as you fight back harder, a strained scream rising in your chest. John suddenly releases the grip on your throat as a fist makes contact with his jaw. You feel yourself falling as you gasp desperately for air through blurred vision. Are you crying? You can’t even tell, you’re too busy gulping down air as your throat and chest burns. Someone's arms wrap around your waist, pulling you up from the sticky kitchen floor and steadying you. You can’t tell if you’re coughing or sobbing as you lean into the touch, trying to gain your senses.

The fist which pried John away from you belonged to Loki, who for his skinny stature, was holding a good fight against John a few feet away. John, cradling a broken nose, laughing maniacally as a crowd gathers, phones pulled out and recording. John swings blindly in a drunken rage, his fist connecting with air as Loki dodges to the side. You make out a panicked sound, if John meant to harm you he’s going to fucking kill Loki if he gets the chance. 

“Come on Laufeyson!” John’s voice booms through the kitchen, louder than the music still shaking the walls. You can only watch in horror as John charges forward, slamming Loki against the fridge before tackling him to the floor. 

Squirming against the arms wrapped around your waist, you try to break free. You need to help Loki. You can hear what sounds like Sharon screaming as she tries to push through the crowd. Yelena and Kate seem to be shouting over the crowd for help, to an unimpressed Natasha. Loki is on his back on the floor, John landing punch after punch into his face. There is so much blood - and you swear you can hear the crunch of bone even over the music and screaming. 

“Loki,” you rasp, your voice still recovering from being choked. Fighting harder against the grip, it only tightens, pulling you away from the kitchen. “Stop! He’s gonna kill him!” You protest. 

Suddenly you are spun around, pinned against a wall a few feet away from the kitchen and the gathering crowd. You look up at your captor, and are surprised at the sight that meets you. Bucky Barnes eyes you with worry, his hands gently holding your shoulders against the wall. Had he been the one who had rushed over while you were close to choking to death? Your mind is swimming, the screaming and shouting to your side making you wince. You are still waiting for him to speak, to explain himself. How had you not noticed before? How had you not realized one of the arms wrapped around you was metal? Bucky wets his bottom lip before speaking up. 

“You go running in there, you’re gonna get yourself hurt, or worse,” He rasps, eyes momentarily shifting to the crowd of shouting and screaming people, meeting Steve who watches the two of you with an annoyed expression. Was he annoyed at you for this? Surely he couldn't blame you for John’s insanity? Your eyes snap back to Bucky, who unlike Steve, seemed to be wearing a concerned expression. Was he concerned for you, or was the lack of oxygen making you weak in the knees?

“He’s gonna kill him,” You repeat, common sense finally coming back to you. Behind Bucky you can see Wanda, Sam and Natasha eyeing the interaction, not lifting a finger to help Loki. Trying to push Bucky away, he just shakes his head at you. “Fuck. You do something then!” 

Bucky laughs lowly at that, eyes sweeping over your face, before resting on your neck where a red mark is starting to develop. What was he looking for? Whatever it was, you weren’t sure. With a sigh, he pulls away, running a hand through his hair, a conflicted look on his face. 

“Fine. I’ll help Laufeyson.” He says, motioning Steve over who just frowns in response. You had heard from Thor and Jane that Loki had history with Bucky and Steve. They had never elaborated on what and you had never asked. Now you couldn’t help but wonder if it was a strong enough grudge that they would sit by while Loki was beaten.

“Thank you,” You gasp, a hand going to rub your neck. 

“No…” Bucky drawls, looking between you and the fight. “I’m not doing this for Laufeyson. I’m doing this for you, siren.”

You blink in confusion, unsure if you heard him correctly. He seems to chuckle a bit at your confusion, tongue going to wet his bottom lip again. You gulp silently, silently thanking yourself for leaning against the wall so you have some kind of support. Bucky leans in, muttering into your ear. 

“Stay here.”

You try to keep your breathing steady, part of you swears he could hear your thundering heart if he leans in any closer. Before you can reply Bucky has already stalked off to split up the fight.

Chapter Two

#bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #fanfic #marvel #mcu fic #marvel fic #angst angst angst #au #marvel au #avengers #avenger au #avengers fic #steve rodgers x reader #steve rodgers x y/n #captain america #steve x reader #steve rodgers x you #bucky x steve x reader #bucky x female reader #steve x female reader #face the music

[kariachi]

Yeah sorry still a bit on In Charm's Way.

This episode was honestly wasted in a lot of ways. We have-

A returning villain

Who takes advantage of Kevin's issues

In a manner that highlights a flaw in Gwen's character and actions

And could have served as a catalyst to give her character growth and Kevin a degree of healing

Leaving them and their relationship stronger in the long run

And just nothing was done with that shit. Instead we get Kevin being betrayed and mindcontrolled by someone he thought he could trust, made to turn against one of the people he cares about most, and it being turned into a 'poor saintly Gwen, Kevin did her so wrong' situation. (Sorry, sticks in my craw that an episode where Kevin goes through so much shit and in the end his story is about how he should have just 'known' what Gwen was up to and he's a bad boyfriend for not (Here's a hint, kids, if somebody tells you you should have just known what was going on with somebody else without being told anything, it's bullshit. You can't read minds and neither can the people around you, use your words.))

Like, just- This shit could have filled a multi-episode arc all on it's own.

Picture for me- an earlier episode establishes Kevin making a new friend. WoG is that In Charm's Way takes place over months, so you can put it towards the beginning of the season. Maybe Kevin shows up to pick Ben up for something and has this new chick with him, 'oh this is a new friend of mine, she needed a lift to X and it's on our way so-'. Also take a bit of time out of the same episode or a close one to establish that Gwen isn't spending as much time with Kevin as she normally would, brushing off date offers she would normally go for with vague excuses, and that it really isn't helping Kevin's worries about her leaving him. Really set shit up early. Over the next several episodes give us some more references to this new friend, as well as an episode where we the audience learn what Gwen has going on. Maybe she brings it up to Ben, or maybe Ben already knows and brings the topic up himself, trying to get her to take some time off like he does in original episode. The point is, for the purposes of this thought experiment, setting the scene early, making sure it's established that this is what's going on and it's been going on for a while.

Finally, we reach where things come to a head. A two-parter. The first part focuses on Kevin, this new friendship, the reveal of Charmcaster and her deception, the mind control. You build this up, and if you did the set-up right you should have audiences tense as hell when things between Kev and the new chick ramp up- because they know what's going on but they also know Kevin doesn't know and how it's been effecting him- and get a physical reaction at the kiss. Only to then fucking blindside them with the mindcontrol and the reveal that it was Charmcaster the entire damn time. Make it all hit like a fucking truck. End it off with the Tennysons discovering that Charmcaster has him under her control to act against them.

The next episode you start off with the Tennyson's trying and managing to break Kevin free of Charmcaster's control. He's very blatantly in an even worse place than he was at the start of the season, after spending it slowly improving in part due to this new friendship, but he manages to tell them what the fuck happened. He doesn't join in on the final fight with Charmcaster because he's had a fucking Time and nobody wants Charmcaster near him- he'll get his back come Hit 'Em Where They Live- but the others do go and Gwen kicks her ass. Make it a good fight though, drawn out, you want plenty of action yes but also you want to give Charmcaster time to wave Gwen's part in all this over her head. To taunt her with that kiss, with Kevin's doubts, with how Gwen's actions hurt him and made him an even easier target than his issues already did.

Because I'm sorry, you don't spend months building a fake friendship with somebody's partner, then try to move it into a romance, then mindcontrol them to start shit for you, unless you're actively trying to make it as emotionally painful as possible for your primary target.

She brings up the sudden drop in time spent with Kevin, Gwen counters with an 'I've been trying to help him', and only for Charm to visibly blindside her with a 'he doesn't know that, he thinks you're abandoning him'. And it has to have a visible effect on Gwen, we're going for character growth we didn't get in canon and I want to see the realizations hitting her.

She wins the fight, kicks Charmcaster's ass six ways to Sunday, the day is saved. They return to where they left Kevin, still visibly upset in the moment before he notices their return and tries to throw on a facade of being fine, and Gwen immediately gets him in a bear hug.

(For bonus points here, spend the prior episodes making explicit the WoG that in his matter chimera form Kevin is 90% sharp angles and just tears up everything he touches. Gwen's reassurances aren't just words his brain can twist back against him, this is real, tangible proof that his condition will not stop her.)

Kevin goes to apologize only to, to his confusion, be cut off by Gwen apologizing, and explaining what it is she's been up to. Admit that she should have told him, she'd known how worried he was already, but she hadn't wanted to give him false hope in case she can't find anything. He's visibly relieved, apologizes for doubting her. She promises to work on keeping him in the loop, he promises to try to have more faith in her, Ben cuts in to tease Kevin about when did he become such a sap. Kevin makes a comment about 'man, you've seen the books I read'. Cut to credits with the trio laughing, end of episode, the day is saved, Kevin and Gwen's relationship has been moved in a stronger direction, both of them have promised to work on themselves in their own way with their own shit that needs worked on, everything's good.

And like, I know that we never would've gotten something on that level, the show isn't about their relationship and they would have never dedicated that much time and effort to it, but you see what I mean? There's much potential for character and growth and hitting home and nothing is really done with it. Nobody comes out of the episode better, we don't really learn anything about anybody, all it really does is reintroduce Charmcaster at both Kevin and Gwen's expense- Gwen because it gives her a flaw the show refuses to acknowledge (one of many) and Kevin because it throws his issues into the forefront and puts him through the wringer, just to essentially go 'Kevin is bad and needs to be better'.

Fuck, even if they had just cut out the whole 'Charmcaster builds a fake relationship with Kevin' thing and instead just have her show up and mindcontrol him without it. Have the first chunk of the episode show that Kevin and Gwen are on a downward slope- Kevin's mental health is in the shitter, not helped by Gwen spending less time with him for reasons she won't tell him even after he's asked, and Gwen hates how things are going but can't stand the thought of disappointing him if she tells him what she's up to but fails to find a solution, is clinging to a her own insistence that she will figure something out soon and that will fix everything. In the middle chunk the team encounter Charmcaster, and as part of the fight she mindcontrols Kevin. At first she's pitting him against Ben, but once she starts losing the fight against Gwen she retreats and takes him with her. The Tennysons have to track them down, worried as hell the whole time, and that takes us into the final portion. Charmcaster pits Kevin against Gwen this time, it'll hurt Gwen more anyway for him to do the job. They fight, but Kevin is vicious and has nothing holding him back while Gwen is reluctant to go all out because she loves him and it's not him doing this.

He's winning, Ben is occupied, she's doing everything she can to try to snap him out of it. 'I know you're in there somewhere's, declarations of her affection, apologies for past transgressions, begging. Finally, if this is it she's at least going out or losing him with a clear conscience and anyway she's desperate, she hugs him and apologizes for not telling him that she's only been distant because she's been trying to help him. Again, we look to the WoG, she's tearing herself up, while the show won't do blood you can see when he shakes her off, rounds on her and

The mindcontrol breaks. It's magic, blood spilled with intention can do some shit even if you don't show it.

Kevin immediately falls apart with apologies, conscious of everything but having had no control, and she's full of reassurances, holding onto him, leaning their foreheads together, still visibly tearing herself up but as before this is a moment of driving home that his condition will not stop her loving him. She cups his cheek, goes 'wait here, babe, you've had a long day', turns around, and proceeds to storm over and kick Charmcaster's ass six ways to Sunday.

The episode ends with the day saved, things cleared up between Gwen and Kevin, and the promise that things are going to heal and go smoother as time goes by. Ben ends the episode with a quip about fighting Kevin having gotten old years ago, maybe. It's all good.

Just.. So much potential...

[wizard-irl]

Buyers Beware - Heaven and Earth LLC

If you've read previous posts of mine, I've mentioned this company before. This is a company that exemplifies what to avoid when buying crystals online.

Archive of post.

What is Heaven and Earth LLC?

Heaven and Earth LLC (H&E) was founded in 1986 by Robert Simmons and Kathy Helen Warner. Based in New Zealand, they claim they are the first company to sell moldavite, as well as having sold other tektites. Simmons might be a familiar name to some of you, given that he's written a few books on crystal healing, including The Book of Stones, Stones of the New Consciousness, and The Pocket Book of Stones.

In 1991, in fulfillment of a "prophetic vision" given by their friend Naisha Ahsian (formerly of the Crystalis Institute), they discovered "Azeztulite." Simmons recounts that angelic beings called the Azez told Ahsian about the "imminent arrival" of these stones, and what name to give them when they did.

This, as they say, "began our mission to spread the energies of these stones--the currents of the Nameless Light of the Great Central Sun—to people all over the world." Simmons notes that the Azez "intend for all the Quartz on Earth to ultimately receive the vibration of the Nameless Light of the Great Central Sun--making all of the Quartz into Azeztulite."

"Nameless Light of the Great Central Sun"? What does that mean?

When I Google this phrase, I am led to a couple of sites. The Temple of the Presence says this on the Great Central Sun:

There is only one Goal that should be the focus for the Lightbearers of this planet, and that Goal is the reuniting with the Light of God in the Great Central Sun. For God would have you place your attention upon only one priority, and that is God. You start by affirming the Honor and Glory of your own God Presence. But once you have touched the Heart of your I AM Presence, you will realize that your God Presence gives Obeisance, Honor and Glory to THE ONE - to that Universal Light anchored in the Great Central Sun.

Further digging led me to the Summit Lighthouse encyclopedia, which declared that in 1991, this being, the "Nameless One from out the Great Central Sun," made itself known, which was recorded in Mark and Elizabeth Prophet's The Masters and Their Retreats. The site Ascension Research calls the Great Central Sun:

a Source and a Center of the All-Pervading Presence of the Great "I AM". It is a Point of Integration of the Spirit/Matter Cosmos, and an Central Concentration of God Consciousness and the release of Light and Life and Love to all creation. It is a Nucleus, Heart Center, or White Fire Core of the Cosmos.

"I AM"?

This undoubtedly refers to the "I AM Activity Movement," a spiritual movement based on theosophy. This seems to line up with a line of seven products whose names all contain "I AM." While this may just be them targeting a specific audience, considering references to the Great Central Sun, H&E is likely affiliated with I AM.

Nowhere do they state an affiliation with any religious group, but I AM is prominent in how they frame and market their products.

But do you know what they absolutely love stating? Their trademarks!

Crystals(TM)

The following screencap is what greets you on the front page of their site. Notice a commonality?

Yes, that is the trademark symbol. Yes, you can trademark crystals.

What exactly is a trademark? I went over this in a prior post of mine about crystal trademarks, but the gist of it is: a trademark is anything that identifies a brand. While a copyright is protection for intellectual property, and a patent is protection for an invention, think of of a trademark as a copyright/patent for a brand. Because brands can be identified in a myriad of ways, so too can many things be trademarked.

Here is a pastebin of all crystals I could find that are trademarked by H&E, and for your other crystal naming needs, I have also created a spreadsheet with more than just H&E's trademarks. It also includes "generics" for each trademark listed. The list of H&E's trademarks alone is over seventy items long.

Why are trademarks bad for buying crystals? Money. Trademarks demand higher prices on products that are similar or even worse than the "generics," but they are not the only thing that H&E uses to make you spend more on bad quality crystals.

What Do These Words Mean?

Their flagship product is Azeztulite™, which is applied to various forms of quartz. Let's take a look at what Simmons writes about Azeztulite™, abridged and certain words highlighted:

Holding Azeztulite over the third eye, the currents of the stones are experienced as high-frequency energy that, intuition suggests, must originate in the spiritual realms of Light. [...] I experienced vivid inner imagery and sensations of undulating liquid currents of White Light in my skull. [...] The feeling is somewhat as if consciousness is being sweetly caressed by angelic hands[.] [...] Azeztulite is said to represent the Great Central Sun. In other words, it is said to conduct the currents or light of the Central Sun, the spiritual core of the universe[.] [...] The Liquid Crystal Body Matrix probably resonates more strongly with Azeztulite than any other stone I know. [...] Azeztulite as Quartz and the nuclei of each cell of our bodies both emit light. [...] I mention all of this because the purpose of Azeztulite, as I understand it, is to help us incarnate the human Body of Light. This is the New Body of spiritual Light, and I believe very deeply that this Light Body is to be incarnated at the level of our cells, perhaps through our DNA. [...] Remember, the Azez intend to awaken all the Quartz on Earth, which is most of the Earth's crust, to the currents of the Nameless Light. [...] Like all gestures of true love, the infusion of the Nameless Light is an offer, not a compulsion. [...] It is fitting to see this as a kind of marriage. The Solar Logos [...] is thought of mythological as a male archetypal energy or pattern. The Earth has been viewed almost universality as female, and if we think of Sophia as the Soul of the World, then the fusion of heavenly light with Earthly Matter is a Divine Marriage. Since we humans are integral to the unfolding of this process, we may play the role of the Holy Child, and we would experience within ourselves the ecstasy of the Divine Union.

If you don't trust that I've abridged fairly, I encourage you to check the link for the text in full.

Now is a good time to mention Ahsian again, or Samaya Aster as she goes by now. In 2021, she left the New Age movement and seems to have converted to Messianic Judaism, a form of evangelical Christianity. Within her YouTube channel, she claims she will be sharing spiritual concepts that helped her with facing "the falsity and lies of the New Age movement." Now consider that Azeztulite, H&E's flagship product, was prophecised by Aster, who now believes that the New Age movement is full of lies.

Furthermore, look at the highlighted words. Disregarding that this capitalisation reminds me of YA dystopian novels, do... these words mean anything? As established prior, we know what the "Nameless Light" refers to the Great Central Sun, but can you explain to me any of these other words? Why is "White Light" capitalised? What is the "Liquid Crystal Body Matrix?" And as to the other words, there are plenty of spiritual buzzwords such as "high-frequency" and "third eye," as well as the imagery of angels. These words are pleasant, but vague, allowing the prospective buyer to fill them in with their own hopes and dreams.

Do you think this is a product worth buying, when the prophetess herself would likely deny her prophecy was true? And do you think that this is a product worth buying when the seller not only does not explain the concepts they are selling you on, but do not disclose where these ideas are from? Does this inspire confidence in you that you will be getting the best product?

And if you think I'm cherrypicking, let's run through a few more descriptions:

Master Shamanite™ can be useful for initiating shamanic journeys, and it can help one connect inwardly with power animals and spirit guides. It is a Stone of the Ancestors, aiding in communication with spiritual elders and guides on the other side, as well as loved ones who have passed.

Cinnazez™ is a quickener of consciousness and an awakener of higher awareness. It can stimulate one’s nervous system to actualize latent capacities of clairvoyance, telepathic communication, attunement to heavenly realms, and direct knowledge of Divine truth. It is felt as the solidified essence of the Philosopher’s Stone, and it can help the body open to become a conduit of the Celestial Fire of the Great Central Sun.  

Stellar Beam Calcites are very powerful for stimulating the third eye and crown chakras, and they align these chakras with the higher etheric body, making possible an ascension into higher realms of consciousness. They stimulate remembrance of the individual’s experiences in the pre-birth state of full immersion in Spirit, and they assist in the recollection of past lives. Stellar Beam Calcites can also help one establish contact with extraterrestrial intelligences in meditation or dreams.

It's more of the same things. Words that aren't explained so that you get to fill them in with your hopes and dreams. More appropriation of Hinduism through Westernised chakras, as well as the term "shaman" which they are actively profiting off of based on the trademark of Master Shamanite™. Keep in mind that, as far as I can tell, only Simmons and Warner run the company, and their only apparent affiliation is with I AM.

A lot of their listings claim to be "Azozeo® Super-Activated." This word, Simmons claims, is the "ancient word of invocation" of the Azez. When this word is chanted over Azeztulite™, their "intensity" doubled, the "frequency of their pulsations" was faster, and that they channel energy into the crown chakra and into the Earth. In theory, this means that you too can Azozeo® Super-Activate your own crystals by chanting over your Azeztulite™, but hey, why not spend a bit more to get someone else to do it for you?

You aren't buying the actual crystal when you read these descriptions. You are buying flavour text.

Price Gouging for Profit and Profit

I'm going to check several of their listings and compare them to similar listings on other sites. I will be comparing the price per gram of each listing. I will try my best to find adequate "generics" of each crystal I cover. If they don't overcharge, the prices for the "generics" will be similar per gram, right?

I don't endorse these Etsy sellers. I'm using them for comparison only.

Anandalite™: 1.77$/g, 1.22$/g, 0.40g/$ Druzy quartz: 0.08$/g, 0.16$/g, 0.19$/g

Amazez™: 1.74$/g, 1.81$/g, 2.02$/g Chevron amethyst: 0.17g/$, 0.03-0.04g/$ (24-32oz price used), 0.48$/g

Healerite™: 1.15$/g, 1.13$/g, 1.15$/g Serpentine: 0.21$/g, 0.19$/g, 0.10$/g

Azeztulite™: 1.50$/g, 1.50$/g, 1.49$/g Milky quartz: 0.01$/g, 0.06$/g, 0.25$/g

Just for fun, let's see the prices of their non-trademarked crystals.

Amethyst (H&E): 0.58$/g, 0.20$/g, 0.31$/g Amethyst: 0.08-0.09$/g (13-14oz price used), 0.08-0.10$/g (0.75-1lb price used), 0.05-0.08$/g

Fluorite (H&E): 0.58$/g, 0.29$/g, 0.36$/g Fluorite: 0.19$/g, 0.06$/g, 0.08$/g

Malachite (H&E): 2.04$/g, 2.15$/g, 2.00$/g Malachite: 0.56$/g, 0.33$/g, 0.25$/g

So even for their "generic" crystals, they overprice the hell out of them. But perhaps these crystals are pricey because they're ethically sourced. The money spent into sourcing and buying crystals from ethical mines and ethical sellers surely is why they're so expensive, isn't it?

Where Do the Rocks Come From?

As established in a yet another post of mine, an ethical mineral seller will disclose the exact location, including the mine, in which their minerals were mined. This is to assure any buyers that by buying these minerals, they are not contributing to exploitation. A seller that refuses to disclose or obfuscates the origin of their stock is not to be trusted, since you can't confirm if their products are ethical.

H&E does not do this. They don't even do the bare minimum of listing the country most of the time on the listings, leaving the country on pages showing multiple listings for the same type of crystal.

Stellar Beam Calcite: No location listed.

Agni Manitite™: No location listed.

Tibetan Tektites: No location listed outside of name.

Amazez™: "Off the coast of Africa."

Anandalite™: No location listed.

Black Azeztulite™: No location listed.

Azumar™: No location listed.

Beryllonite: No location listed.

Celestine Fluorite: No location listed.

Fairy Stone: No location listed.

Goshenite/Morganite: No location listed.

Malachite: No location listed.

Moldavite: "Czech Republic."

Mystic Merlinite™: No location listed.

Revelation Stone™: No location listed.

If you're buying crystals, and the product is listed as vague as "off the coast of Africa," you should run. Africa is huge. Just on the mainland alone, your crystal could be from Botswana, which has been called a "blueprint for ethical mining in Africa," or it could be from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where children are forced to mine minerals with barely any protection or compensation. Are you willing to risk buying from exploited children, or if not children, exploited people paid barely anything for hard and dangerous work, because you want a low-quality crystal?

H&E doesn't seem to care care about contributing to human and environmental exploitation. They certainly don't care enough about it to have any kind of article about how they assess the ethics of their stock, how they help promote sustainable mining practices by doing business with sustainable mines, or really anything about the ethics of crystal healing. Why bother listing your source mines when your target audience is already sold on DNA activation, shamanic journeys, and angelic crystals from the Great Central Sun? They likely don't know where that terminology comes from, but it sure sounds like it'll activate their chakras to the 7th density. That might be high enough to ask the Azez to Azozeo® Super-Activate some crystals to combat child silicosis in the Congo! Maybe they can trademark those too.

Conclusion

This is an example of a company that I would never trust to give me ethically sourced crystals. Even if they were ethically sourced, their unethical business practices make up for it. A company that describes a crystal like a D&D item, all while obfuscating its origin, is a company that does not have your best interests at heart. They most certainly don't have your spiritual well-being at heart either, considering they prey on it to make you buy wildly overpriced and subpar crystals. They do not care about your spiritual growth beyond how much money they can gain from it.

If you're wondering what a good crystal seller looks like, or even how to pick out the bad ones from a glance, I have a series about crystal ethics and proper sourcing that may be of use to you.

#self post #crystals #VERY postscript: I'm not fixing the links. This has sat in my drafts for long enough that I don't care. #|| #crystal #crystal witch #crystal healing #witch #witchcraft #baby witch #witchcraft 101 #beginner witch #witch tips #witchblr #new age #healing crystals

[thefiresofpompeii]

basically what i’m getting at is what if someone wrote and directed their debut short film based on the premise of a character returning to the town in which they spent their complex and traumatic middle school years and onto which they project all the unresolved hurt from that integral period of their life? and while they’re there, they happen to walk right through a gap in time created by the intensity of their painful associations with the town. in a few minutes they bump into their younger self walking out of the schoolyard with the girls they considered their friends long before they realised they were being insidiously bullied by these very people. so they try to pull their younger self aside and warn her, but she refuses to listen. after a few failed attempts to walk back through the spacetime split through which they came, they realise they cannot return to the present until they’ve healed the scars of their past self. so instead of trying to fix her hopeless broken friendships they decide to take her on a train ride to london: a trip to the science museum, a modern art gallery, the giant waterstones bookstore and to the theatre to watch their younger self’s favourite musical (which, unfortunately, was dear evan hansen. they have to endure this for her happiness). this little journey cheers younger-them up so much that she realises that basing her worth on the opinions of her peers will only end in disappointment when she could strive for art and joy and higher things. that ultimately ends up changing her defeatist mindset and the protagonist is finally able to leave. so it’s like a sweet little coming of age fairytale ghost story for a target audience of younger teens with an obviously autistic protagonist and a hopeful optimistic ending. and what if that writer and director was me. would that be fucked up or what

#i still entertain the delusion that someday somehow i’ll be able to work in the film or tv industry #i have no portfolio no experience but what i do have is oodles of free time (unemployedcore) so what if i made this a Project . Thing #jamie.txt #writing #film

[spyridonya]

Enabling you! How about Zophus starting to realize his feelings for this devil are much more ... complex than they should be? 😏

Title: Borrow or Beg

Rating: General Audiences

Ship: Raphael / Tav (named)

Hope isn't the only thing that teases in the moments between.

The ache of the battle haunts Zophus with each step he took from the Rosymorn Monastery, soreness in the muscles and wounds that quite fully healed, the consistent squirming of the tadpole from barrage of senses of the ancient enemy, the realization that his sword had taken down youths barely older than himself when he wrote his name gravely on the Harmonium recruit forms when he was barely 15 cycles old.

Youth commanded by Vlaakith, and he answered in violence in kind. It was not the first time violence had been necessary to quell the chaos, but it had been the first time the command had been so swift and methodical. No one questioned the command that sung in their heads.

The discomfort he carries was well hidden from his chosen companions who were all trapped in their own thoughts from the events of the last several hours. Lae'zel eyes burned like golden fire, her silence a steel trap while Shadowheart's pensive frown adorned her between the clashes of steel and the mind. Astarion held no personal trauma of the revelation and held little concern for the targets of his arrows. 

The golden-flicker glow of the campfire began as a welcome slight as they approached from the gloom of dusk, and it only turned sour on Zophus' tongue when the half elf (aasimar, but only one person knew) caught the scent of brandy soaked cherries along with the scent of cook smoke, tinged with sulfur. 

Much to his dismay, to his thrill, he recognized the profile of the man who peeled away from the shadows of the darkness before the figure could speak. 

Firelight looked good on Raphael's skin, the copper burning glow highlighted the parcharian features of strong nose and dark brow. The shadow of his most recent shave did little to soften the royal jaw. "And what do I see coming from the shadows of evening's bearing? A forlorn champion among his comrades after glorious victory to firelight, good drink, and good food."

Zophus stops in his tracks, his steel colored gaze an all too bright as he meets the cambion's wine dark gaze. His companions do not, but their subtle acknowledgement of Raphael is varied. Lae'zel brushes brisky by, not quite touching the cambion, her distaste and arrogance muted by her world being shaken. Shadowheart lifts her chin high, pretending she's not drowning in memories that shifted from the fog of her past. Astarion slides into the darkness like well-worn gloves.

They're not quite alone as Raphael tilts his head up to look at Zophus, the brushed back locks mostly perfect and away from his forehead and carved cheeks. A stray curl mars the illusion of a perfect prince. Zophus almost reaches out. Almost.

"Bar that, we've scavenged wine almost tasting like vinegar and overly ripe vegetables," Not that Zophus could scorn that meal in his youth between Mum's death and being just old enough to lift a glaive. "What do you want, Raphael?" Zophus changes from common to vulgar infernal, the fiendish language is rough on his lips though he knows it well enough. He has a rougher time with the more formal tongue with its turns and triple meanings. 

"Oh, could you not smell the swine? The crackling of fat as it drips into the fire?" The cambion gestures towards the fire, the sweep of his hand graceful and tone companionable, "You'll eat better tonight than you have in weeks."

"Not as honestly," Zophus resorts, turning from the cambion to the shadows of the camp, his fingers working to remove the Harmonium surcoast covering his half plate. "Is that even real pig or is a nalfeshnee?" 

"Pig of course," The laugh that escapes Raphael reminds Zophus of velvet, "Would I truly waste a prize on someone I've not yet won over with promises of hope? Speaking of such, tell me angel, did you borrow from the gith or did you beg?"

"Neither." The paladin replies, punctuating with the drop of his armor on the ground. "You know as well as I do if the gith had a way to cure ceremorphosis, their tactics would reflect that." He reaches for the clasp of gorget, the memory of Shadowheart's fingers lingering there bright as a penny.

The memory does nothing to warm him as a shiver goes down his spine when Raphael's long fingers unclasp the gorget, "Good," The cambion says softly, "I would hate only to hear about the later."

Zophus turns, his gray eyes narrowing, the shadows of the night and the contrast of the fire highlighting every angle of his jaw and the dappled burn scar across his face. He should look ferocious, his expression should be stoic as the frozen wastes of Stygia as he reaches for his glaive. But the glaive isn’t there, and Zophus is suddenly glad for it. 

The aasimar’s eyes meet Raphael’s and he knows the horrors this creature before him has done. And perhaps if that moment had stretched out longer, Zophus would have lingered the horrors woven by the cambion. 

A bright bark interrupts into the dark thoughts, and Zophus turns his head to see Scratch, wagging his tail to greet him. A smile cracks across the aasimar’s handsome face before it quickly dies.

The heart-beat of these moments is all that’s needed for Raphael to take his leave, the scent of brandy soaked cherries, the tinge of sulfur, and roast of pork in the air in his wake. 

#answered ask #dmagedgoods #character: zophus #character: raphael #tav x raphael #zophus x raphael

[fuzzydreamin]

What's Wrong With The Companions

Made a list, somewhat in order of who I think got shafted the hardest by Bethesda's poor writing / releasing an unfinished game. Also a very very brief view at what I think is wrong and could be fixed about them.

Overall: Let these people talk to each other. Damn. They only ever talk during companion swaps or the rare quest script. Half of these guys end up living in the same place (Sanctuary / Red Rocket / wherever you leave them) because they have nowhere else to go once you pick them up, have that do something.

Take a page out of Dragon Age's book and let us travel with multiple companions at a time. Worried about difficulty for people who don't want to travel in groups? Scale it.

Piper Wright: Just... everything. She's a horrible journalist and she's a bad sister for some reason? Why is her quest (it's really just a conversation) about whether she should abandon her young sister? Why does her sister sleep on the floor while she has a big bed?

Her romance is weird to me because it's clear she's meant to be the basic choice for Bethesda's target audience and it affects her character negatively. Not saying she shouldn't be romancable, just... fix the weirdness. She's treated like a young replacement wife and new mummy to synth Shaun.

Curie: Remove romance option. Have her transition into being a synth mean more than... that...

It should have been tied in to the main quest. It should have sparked a compelling narrative bit about memory and originality of self, à la 'Soma' and 'Wolfenstein: The New Order'. Could have tied in to Nick and why he would never choose to do the same.

X6-88: Let him be able to actually turn his back on the Institute. I don't think he could go so far as joining the Railroad, or even actively joining the big fight against the Institute, but let him recognize his situation for what is it, cut himself off from it, and begin healing. Similar to Danse getting out of the Brotherhood, but not necessarily needing his life at stake to do so.

Danse: Give him the other half of his character arc. Change his bigotted dialogue more and more over time.

Preston Garvey: Have him introduce you to helping settlements and leave it at that. Maybe an option to ask him if a settlement needs help, but no more unprompted radiant quests. Give him a personal quest to retake Quincy after you've got the Castle and built up the Minutemen.

Minutemen faction needs a whole section for it's own fixes but otherwise Preston himself is fine, it's just the radiant quest thing that needs fixing.

Cait: Make her take time on her recovery, you can still use the magic detox chair but she's still gonna struggle with the mental side of addiction. More conversations about how her abusive past effects her, get this girl some therapy.

Strong: Free my man, and by that I mean free all super mutants from Bethesda's grubby hands. You can have a roid rager companion and still let them have a unique and compelling story of their own. Strong could have been so much. There's so many directions they could have gone with him that I can't even begin to list them all, but instead they chose none.

RJ MacCready: Make his backstory make sense. This mans been up and down the eastcoast wasteland, back and forth and all over, and done so much but he's only 22. A lot of this could probably be fixed by Bethesda putting more thought into Lucy and who she actually was. It's like half the people working on him kept forgetting he's a cameo of a kid from 3 and not the 30 year old from the concept art.

Fix his likes and dislikes, some of those are weird af compared to his actual values. Have us at least hear about Duncan again, but also is it really so hard to create multiple children models for different ages? Just size them down.

Codsworth: Give him more substance than just being the PC's pre-war butler. Or yknow, have that mean something more. Just give him something more, he's so bland rn.

He could be an interesting look at how post-war robots have been able to take care of themselves and build new bits onto their pre-programmed personalities without human interference. Robotic self determination has been part of the Fallout world long before they brought synths into it, the fact that he can judge your actions and choose to leave your side as a companion is proof enough. Work with it.

John Hancock: Put more emphasis on the fact that going ghoul and becoming mayor didn't really change anything for how he acts and views himself. Show him struggling with these more through more conversations with the character. Give him a quest. Have his brother being replaced by a synth mean something more than a single comment.

Nick Valentine: Nick's problems aren't really about Nick, but the things around him. Messy main quest, fix Kellogg and do something with that ghost-in-the-machine hook, make Eddie Winter be doing something. Jeez.

Old Longfellow: I'm sorry I haven't actually played with you old man. I guess that's his big issue: Don't let him be so harshly overshadowed by another characters story.

Dogmeat: Should have been able to have him alongside other companions like they originally intended. Otherwise general quality of life shit that really just goes for all companions: options to tell them how far behind to follow, better stealth, etc.

Porter Gage: Basically perfect. Fix Nuka World though, give us more options than single-route-evil or nothing. Let me take this feral dog home.

Ada: She's fine. Sassy baby. I love her. Just give her affinity and a perk so she can stand up with everyone else. Robot rights!

Deacon: Actually nothing wrong with him. His chaotic nature protected him from Bethesda's bullshittery. Railroad could use some work, but again, that's for a section on factions themselves.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions #obvious disclaimer but these are just my thoughts and opinions on whats wrong and how to maybe fix them #no essays just the basics #fuzzy.post

[wildhornsberry]

Something something art something something feelings

I've made more art in the past 12 months than I had in the past 12 years combined. I'm not exaggerating.

I started drawing when I was old enough to hold a pencil. Also not an exaggeration. I got in trouble in school a lot because I spent most of my time drawing (although untreated ADHD was partly to blame), and I stayed doing that until high school. I auditioned for and was accepted to a performing arts high school, and I started off feeling so great about it. Everyone else was really good and I got insecure sometimes, but I generally felt like I was among peers.

I had a friend at the time who was (and still is) extremely talented, and I passed her in the hallway while changing classes. She'd seen a drawing I'd done on the wall in one of the classrooms and she asked if it was mine. I said yes. She said "Yeah, I could tell. You have a really distinctive style." I said thanks. She said "No, it's not good" and then just walked away. Instant shame.

I didn't realize at the time how much that impacted me, but in retrospect, it was around then that I stopped trying to do my best work. I stopped taking my work seriously, stopped submitting pieces for galleries/etc., stopped making art outside of school, and started really phoning it in when I had school projects. And then after that, I just didn't do it anymore. Once or twice in college when I was desperate and needed to pay for something, I sold frankly insultingly underpriced paintings. Outside of desperation? Nothing.

I also didn't realize how much it impacted me when I showed my best friend at the time some fan art I'd done for a book series they thought was stupid (and it was, but ya girl was 13 and v much the target audience), and they told me as much -- that it wasn't good, the books were stupid, and that fan art isn't Real Art. I remembered them saying that to me, but I didn't really get the impact until I decided I wanted to do Ghost fan art and I immediately clammed up and thought it was just a waste of time and no one would be able to take me seriously. 16 years later.

I've been doing the whole Professional Artist thing this whole last year. I've completed 37 individual pieces this year. I have 9 more planned. I've shared almost all of them publicly and all of them have been well-received. And yet I'm still convinced that there's nothing interesting or unique about my work, that each new piece has to be better and bigger and shinier than the piece before it or no one will like me or my work anymore, and that anyone looking at my work is only looking at it to scan for the flaws.

I wonder if those things would have hit me so hard if the other circumstances in my life had been less How They Were (there was a lot going on in my life at that time). Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter. It's just amazing the impact we can have on each other. Adolescent pettiness set the tone for so much of how I feel about my work. But I guess the point is that my confidence went away, but my creative impulse never did and I'm proud of myself for engaging it again.

Art has been healing for me. Sharing it, even more so. So thank you for letting me share it with you (and thank you if you read this far).

Anyway, that is more than enough earnest for now. I gotta go scream into a pillow k bye

#idk im working through some stuff and i guess this is me processing #on one hand im mad at myself for letting it get to me that much #on the other tho im mad that other people went out of their way to be shitty to me #this is just two examples #there was so fucking much going on #i guess the point is that young me would be v proud of me now #but present-day me is feeling both v sad for and v defensive of young me #i might delete this later idk feelings are bad

[championofnyx]

A weird little rant that I have wanted to go on for a while. In the last episode of season three in the wrap-up montage, it says that Tara was tried at the International Criminal Court and placed on probation. What was she tried with? And how did they reach a guilty verdict required for probation?

So, the ICC has jurisdiction over the four mass atrocity crimes: crimes of aggression, the crime of genocide, crimes against humanity, and war crimes. I am eliminating the first two on the grounds of basic logic (I think we would have known if she was implicated in either of those two) which leaves us with crimes against humanity or war crimes. Both are a little weird, let me explain.

If Tara committed a war crime, it would have needed to take place in the context of a larger armed conflict. Best guesses, it would have something to do with Greater Bailyia. Tara could have been used as an operative of the light fighting on behalf of the Bialyian government, in which she would have to intentional target a civilian population, willful killing, carry out torture, or intentional direct an attack on a building dedicated to education, art, religion, or of cultural significance to society. Other acts constitute a war crime, but these are the most likely. The only act of willful killing that we know Tara carried out was Jaqqar Marlo when she dropped a boulder on him. The thing is, while it did happen in Greater Bailya, it wasn’t in an active war zone, or within the confines of the armed conflict, nor was Marlo allied publicly with either side. He was a Good Studios employee, not a soldier of the Bailyan army or some other military organization. It was a crime, but it wasn’t a war crime.

With crimes against humanity, it’s even more tricky. A crime against humanity is any of several crimes that are widespread or symmetrically committed against a civilian pollution. So yes murder, but a lot of it. More than just Marlo, and carried out within a larger plan of intentionally killing civilians on a massive scale. It could be argued that if she was involved with disappearances for the light. But these all would have to be civilian targets and all of the victims belonged to an identifiable group. Again, going back to Greater Bialya, everyone she might have disappeared would have had to be of a single opposing political party or all Quraci civilians. While possible, again, I think there would have been some reference to this in the story.

Suffice it to say, with the information that the audience has, Tara should never have been tried at the ICC in the first place, non the less placed on probation.

Either the lawyers that tried her had no idea what the hell they were doing, or she did some messed up shit that the audience doesn’t know about. So... what did she do? I hope that if we eventually get a season five or more comic installations that tells what Tara did in the two years she was trafficked gets some attention, I think a little more context into what made her willing to work under Slade, but also the progress in self-healing and forgiveness she has made.

#young justice outsiders #young justice #tara markov #But in all honesty media now of days throughs around words like war crimes far to often and I want to know why YJ choose to invoke #the possibility of them if there was going to be no narrative payoff later

[beboped1]

Moving Pictures

One thing I'm really enjoying about this project is the opportunity to really consider each book. Most of these I've only read once, as part of one whirlwind hyperfocus dash or other, but the reviews force me to focus on each book one at a time.

Moving Pictures

First Read: High School

Verdict then: Good book, now where's the next one?

Verdict now: A funny, loving, and well executed parody/takedown/homage to Hollywood and movies. You can see a lot of growth as a writer since the conceptually similar Wyrd Sisters.

Despite having read it before, I didn't have any real expectations coming into Moving Pictures. It was one of those books that I read in my first dash through Discworld, borrowing from a couple friends who had them, and got lost in the middle of the dozen or so volumes I devoured in hyperfocus. But I really enjoyed Moving Pictures. Guards, Guards still stands as my favorite so far, but Moving Pictures gave it a run for its money.

I'm a terrible sucker for meta-narrative fuckery, and Moving Pictures has that in spades. The concept of movie reality leaking into the real world, and horrors from beyond being bound by the rules of that manufactures reality is basically catnip for me. Several of the characters are also amazing: Gaspode, Throat, Soll, Bursar, Ridcully all get some great lines and moments. The biggest weakness is ultimately the two leads: Victor is (intentionally, I think) that very bland kind of movie star archetype, and Ginger shows that he still hasn't quite figured out how to write women yet. They don't really seem to have chemistry outside of the set, Victor's attraction to Ginger doesn't seem to go any farther than skin deep, and Ginger has little agency for much of the story. I end up not really believing in their romance.

But oh man, this book is really funny. I mean, I did write a research paper on movies between sound and color in the 8th grade, and haven't lost my love for movies of all eras since, and so one could accuse me of being squarely in the center of the target audience for the humor. But so much of the humor transcends the subject matter. Did I get a good chuckle out of the twisted inversion of a giant woman carrying an ape up a tower and getting shot by two wizards on a broom? Yes, absolutely. But the visuals of the handleman, Ginger, and a dozen wizards frantically riding a giant wheelchair moving at the speed of travel montage? Pure comedy, no additional context needed.

The true heart of this book lies with Gaspode. He carries such human trauma, of one who has been rejected so much that he invites it, almost requires it of those around him. How he grows, learns, and ultimately chooses who he really is over the course of the story. The healing that his unlikely friendship with Laddie brings him. The climactic moment in the theater. He got me at the end too - I really thought Pratchett was going to go through with "the dog dies at the end", but I'm glad he didn't. It wouldn't have fit right with the rest of the story.

Moving Pictures is also a masterclass in how to be broad and focused at the same time. There's a lot that goes on in this book beside the A plot of Victor, Ginger, and Osric - Silverfish & Throat, Throat & Soll, Detritus & Ruby, Gaspode & Laddie, the wizard council, Bursar & Ridcully, the movie palace owners, the troll actors whose names escape me, more I'm sure that I'm forgetting. And yet, the singular frame of "speedrunning Hollywood history through Gone with the Wind" allows all of these pieces to come together into a greater whole. The side stories don't feel like diversions, they feel like valuable asides, painting a richer and more nuanced picture of the humanity & Trollanity behind the dreams of Holy Wood.

Speaking of Trolls, he starts here what I know will be a slow project over several more books, of taking Dwarves and Trolls and turning them into object lessons in the harm of stereotypes. Not by preaching, but by the route of giving them depth & humanity while retaining the pieces that caused them to be stereotyped in the first place. To my eye, his treatment of Trolls here has also maintained a useful distance from reality that the Tecumen in Eric or the Klatchians in Sourcery or Twoflower didn't - the Trolls aren't coded as a specific Earth culture, and so there's less baggage brought in by the reader. It lets the messages of complexity and variety slip under the defenses better.

Moving Pictures is a tremendously successful send up, homage, and skewering of Hollywood culture. With great characters, a breadth that lenses into a singular focus, and with the best physical comedy scenes yet in the series, it really feels like Pratchett is starting to hit his stride. Two decades after my first Discworld book, I'm still so excited to read the next one.

#book review #books #discworld #fantasy books #terry pratchett #long post #moving pictures

[ninxuisle]

Writing the Worst

Many people doesn’t like writing because they weren’t good at it. Some were just afraid that it will end up as a disaster, that there would be nobody to read what they write. No, anyone can write, everyone can write their thoughts. Anyone can write about their point of view about climate change, what stops them was the critics. Yes, there are critics that slam into your face that you could be the worst writer that they’d ever encounter. Everyone can write they just need to pick the right the right audience. Picking the correct audience is the most crucial part of anyone’s masterpiece. It’s just selling a product in wrong marketplace, in wrong target market. Maybe its the time that we should address writing as freedom. Freedom to share their our thoughts. Maybe our unwritten thoughts is the solution of other readers’ problem. Maybe people reads to refresh their thoughts or to divert it. We can change the world by changing what we thinks.

Maybe I am not a writer, maybe I was.

Maybe I lost it or maybe it was just hidden and covered by a tons of dust. If only I had still the mind of the 5th grader me, I could write you a poem in just 2 minutes. If only i had still the brain of the 10th grader me, I could write you manuscript for your screenplay. In looking for the things that we want in life, we tend to lose what we’re good at. I wasn’t sure, neither of us were. I was good, I am not today. I aced English then, I am not eligible now. We tend to focus on what we’re weak at and forgot what we’re good at. It was clouded, diluted by the things the we believe we were but we weren’t. If I was sure back then I am not that confuse and tired today.

Life didn’t walk without a reason, maybe this season of our lives were lesson on its becoming. Maybe I was a writer, I am still a writer; wasn’t nurtured neither tortured. Lies with mediocracy and believed that she can do any. Yes I was one of those people who over objects of all the things that this world might offer. I write, I draw, I dance, I sing, I cook; I can do most of the things but I am not good in either of those. I succeed in dealing with numbers, I pushed them for a living; but I failed in pushing letters or didn’t I? My 8th grader mind might contradicts the grammar I had today even the choices of words. I could be the kind of Shakespeare? Edgar Allan Poe? or Brontë but I am neither of those. I am just an executive assistant that supposed to be a chef and a writer. But who can say I was redirected to path that made me believe I am good at. So here I come rekindling the fire that was being snatched from me.

I don’t care if nobody reads the passages that I wrote, or nobody will be. Maybe as time passed there will be few and so are you. Don’t write for them, write for you; Don’t look for the audience; be your own audience. Don’t wait for their appreciation; appreciate yours.

Just like the Sundrop Flower in Tangled you will lit the darkest of the night and become the powers of light and life, healing the youth and all positive forces;

#reading #free write #writers on tumblr #motivational

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CVL - 'I Keep You In A Box' Exhibition - SD

After discussing my work with friends who often work with concepts surrounding bereavement and childhood, we decided to curate an exhibition together in the BUMF Gallery Space. Sophia, whose work largely revolves around the idea of growing up 'too fast' and Arthur, who works a lot with reflecting on the relationship between himself and his family after a sudden loss, decided that our works would complement one another very well and working together to curate a show would not only be cathartic and healing, but also be a space in which people could share their experiences surrounding loss.

We decided to name the exhibition 'I Keep You In A Box' after a conversation about grief and how after a certain amount of time, loss and the memory of a person can be revisited, almost like a box being taken off the shelf, looked at, and placed back. Personally, I keep a whole box of things passed down to me from my mum which I can look at and revisit whenever so the title felt fitting to me both physically and theoretically.

In terms of the branding and advertising for the exhibition, we felt it was appropriate not to give too much away and allow people to explore the work given the context of childhood from the posters. The naivety of the hand-rendered type felt very appropriate to apply to the advertising due to the connotations of childhood, growing up and honesty in the work. We used images that were featured in our artworks and decontextualised them in the posters for a sense of intrigue. For this exhibition, we had a very broad target audience but we knew it was likely to be students who attend, this sense of unrefined nature of the type would have piqued interest as, especially due to the fact we attend art uni, a lot of advertising for events is particularly polished and refined.

When curating the space, we worked together to present the work as earnestly and honestly as we could. Arthur's piece 'Blackbirds' was placed in a 'box' made of sheets not only to represent the concept of the box which we were working with, but to also demonstrate the sensitivity and softness of his video piece. Sophia's painting was accompanied by toys and mats that were interactive for the audience, evoking the idea of a 'toybox', a box that can be returned to when reflecting on your childhood.

In order to tie the work together, we wrote a short poem together in chalk on the wall in order to explain our concept. It reads: 'I keep you in a box, every now and then I look through, hidden away, I think of you'. We decided this was a more appropriate choice for our exhibition instead of using placards explaining the work, helping our work feel more conceptual and up for interpretation. We chose to directly chalk onto the wall in order to give the sense of revisiting our childhood selves, who may have drawn on walls much to our parents dismay.

#cvl sd