#Tim drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag

[galaxymagitech]

Jason’s allergic to asking for help from Batman, sure. Maybe he thinks Bruce won’t help without an agreement to follow his code, maybe he thinks Bruce will help and is afraid of that, but for whatever reason, he’s not going to ask Batman for help. But he’s also not incapable of realizing that he really, really needs help right now.

So he calls up his replacement and tells Tim that if he helps out with this one trafficking ring before they leave Gotham tonight, he’ll stop trying to kill him.

Well, Tim agrees of course, and he sees an opportunity. Not to increase his own likelihood of survival, but to bring Jason home. All he needs is a foothold, and Jason just offered it up on a golden platter.

The mission goes off without a hitch. Two days later, Tim shows up in the middle of Red Hood’s patrol with a flash drive of information. And Red Hood tells Tim that he better go away, because promising no lethal force doesn’t mean he can’t do any damage. Tim just shrugs. Jason doesn’t know it, but he’s already lost.

Two months later, Tim is sitting in one of Jason’s safehouses that he wasn’t supposed to know about, while Jason is making cookies and ranting about George Wickham. Suddenly, he freezes. It occurs to him how insane this is. Two months ago he wanted the Replacement dead, and now he’s making cookies after they teamed up to play a revenge prank on Bruce. “How did this even happen?” He asks Tim in horror.

Tim grabs a cookie, takes a bite menacingly and says: “You know the book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? I’m the mouse.”

#Tim drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag #batman #tim drake #jason todd #dc #dcu #dc comics #humor

[rusomnia]

[4am, Jason's safehouse]

Tim, climbing through the window: help me with my english essay

Jason: what

Tim: alfred says you're an english lit nerd, help

Jason: i tried to kill you last week

Tim: and i have an essay on macbeth due friday, now help

#tim drake #jason todd #tim drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag #tim drake is sleep deprived af and we all know it #jason todd is a lit nerd you can fight me on that #incorrect quotes #batboys #the waynes #batfam #dc universe

[arenjix]

Baby Birds and Bat Caves

By IzzyMRDB

Complete

Summary:

Gotham was built on a cave system. Batman has referenced a Bat Cave before. Tim is currently in the cave system. He is in the cave system that he entered from Drake Manor. Drake Manor is right next door to where Batman- The Bruce Wayne- lives. Holy Cavern, Batman! Tim had just accidentally wandered into the Bat Cave’s cave system. OR Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There. Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.

(Stats/Tags are under the cut)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)

Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Edward Nygma

Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Original Non-Human Character(s), Alfred Pennyworth, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Edward Nygma

Language: English

Additional Tags: Caves, Fluff, Weird Gotham City, Tim Drake-centric, BAMF Tim Drake, Kid Tim Drake, the Bat Cave, Kids are so curious, Smart Tim Drake, Tim please stop running around in gothams cave systems, Stalker Tim Drake, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, no beta we die like robin, Tiny Tim Drake, Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Tim looking at the cave system under the city: you know this might as well happen, Bruce please stop him, Child Neglect, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Magic shennanigans, BAMF Stephanie Brown, BAMF Cassandra Cain, Edward Nygma Tries, Cryptid Tim Drake, Tim Drake is Crow, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Kid Fic, Stephanie Brown is Starling, Cassandra Cain is Black Bat, Cassandra Cain is Black Bird

Series: Part 1 of Gotham Caves and Reality Aberrations

Published: 2022-03-20

Completed: 2022-06-30

Words: 30,113

Chapters: 20/20

#Weird Gotham City #Tim Drake-centric #BAMF Tim Drake #Kid Tim Drake #Smart Tim Drake #Tim please stop running around in gothams cave systems #Fluff #Stalker Tim Drake #Implied/Referenced Child Abuse #Tiny Tim Drake #Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag #Crack Treated Seriously #Bruce please stop him #Child Neglect #Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent #Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale #Hijinks & Shenanigans #Magic shennanigans #fanfic reccomendation #Humor #BAMF Stephanie Brown #BAMF Cassandra Cain #Edward Nygma Tries #Cryptid Tim Drake #Tim Drake is Not Robin #Kid Fic #Tim looking at the cave system under the city: you know this might as well happen #ao3 #fanfiction #word count: 30.000

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Asking the Batkids “How do you want to die?”

Jason: I would like to mention that I’ve already died

Dick: Jay we get it, you’ve died. Please stop making jokes about it. Anyway, I would like to die protecting my family

Steph: The fact that you didn’t say of old age speaks to your mental health. I really don’t care how I die, just that Tim remembers to cover my corpse in glitter and then cremate me, so I’m both fabulous after death, and so Ra’s can’t do shit to my dead body

Jason: You really think Timberlina here’s gonna live longer then you? The kid has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag

Tim: Rude, but honestly I’m beginning to think I can’t die given all the shit I’m been through. Unfortunately.

Duke: Am I going to turn out that depressed too? And like Steph said, old age

Damian: I simply will not die.

Tim: Haven’t you already died as well?

Damian: Shut up Drake, I’ll last longer then you for certain. You should better your diet if you want to live anywhere near as long as me

Dick: Awww, Dami you care! Also Tim he’s right. You can’t survive on Kraft Mac and Cheese forever

Tim: Am I hearing some hypocrisy from Mr. I Eat Lucky Charms For Every Meal?

Cass, watching as they all bicker: I would like to die knowing that my family loves me and that they know I love them

#jason todd #dick grayson #stephaine brown #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne #cass cain #batfam #batkids

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Fatherless Behaviour

by lemonlimemadness Tim Drake, trapped in a contract with the League of Assassins with no end in sight, sets out on a different path to pull Bruce out of the time stream. As it turns out, messing about with time has consequences. Maybe, just perhaps, being de-aged a few years isn’t too bad in the long run. He’s still got his smarts and his allies, and his enemies sure as hell won’t be expecting this. Unfortunately, he completely forgets to account for the rest of his pseudo-estranged family.   Or; Tim Drake fucks around with the timestream and finds out. Now, he has to suddenly deal with a baby face, his family (and hiding from them), the loss of his precious middle child status and the burgeoning realisation that Damian is taller than him. Words: 4185, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Prudence Wood, Ra's al Ghul, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Prudence Wood, Tim Drake & Ra's al Ghul, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Tim Drake-centric, Kid Tim Drake, Young Tim Drake, De-Aged Tim Drake, Age Regression/De-Aging, BAMF Tim Drake, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Bruce Quest, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne Bonding, Tim Drake & Jason Todd Bonding, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Bonding, Dick Grayson is Batman, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Damian Wayne is Robin, Unreliable Narrator, League of Assassins Tim Drake, Protective Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, hes trying, Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag, Slightly Feral Tim Drake, Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Angst and Humor, Kidnapping, Crack, Tim Drake: The world’s smartest dumb person, Mistaken Identity, Oblivious Tim Drake via https://ift.tt/hVf5w3k

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the caped crusader #gotham #dcu #dc #ao3 #ao3feed

[thatthirdtriplet]

Relationships:

Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne Tim Drake & Jason Todd Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd Cassandra Cain & Jason Todd Tim Drake & Damian Wayne

Characters:

Tim Drake Dick Grayson Bruce Wayne Jason Todd Stephanie Brown Damian Wayne Cassandra Cain Alfred Pennyworth Barbara Gordon Duke Thomas

Additional Tags:

Worried Parent Bruce Wayne I am using this fic to push forward my steph and jason are chaotic siblings agendaTim Drake Whump shamelessly whumping him lol no beta we die like jason Todd Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag Tim Drake Needs a Hug(he gets it) Hurt/Comfort Tim Drake is Red Robin Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent torture electrocution water boardinghouses WoundsTim Drake's Missing Spleen Tim Drake Has a Bad Time broken Bones pneumonia somehow the end of this fic turned into crack title from earth by sleeping at last protective Jason Todd protective Batfamily (DCU) Human Trafficking feral Tim Drake Tim Drake is Not Okay Batfamily (DCU) Feels medical Inaccuracies

Summary:

In a moment of clarity, Tim remembers his emergency button. He remembers patrol, and he remembers a gang and a shootout.

He uses his free hand to fumble around until he manages to find the chest piece and press the emergency button. His vision is fuzzing at the edges and the last thing he sees is a dark figure leaning over him, a gun pointed at his face.

Well fuck, is his last thought before everything fades to black.

#tim drake #damian wayne #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #fault lines tremble under my glass house

[howaboutthisblr]

So - Y’all remember the “Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag” tag on AO3 and how we were lamenting on how that hasn’t been a standardized tag by now? Good news - it’s a proper tag now!

It’s now officially known as “Tim Drake Lacks Self-Preservation Instincts.” I’m still gonna use the fun variant, but it’s fantastic that’s it’s officially recognized and linked appropriately. I’m delighted!

I swear it must have been very recent - like just this past week because I could swear the tag was still unofficial a few days ago, and even recently updated fics with it still say “how is this not a tag yet.” I wanted to share the news since I just found out by clicking on it for shits and giggles barely an hour ago.

Hats off to the officiants/volunteers(?) who actually made it a thing! Spread the word, and Reblog this especially if you know more about the tag, like other names it could be found under!

A screenshot with the tag on AO3 is below! Here is a link to the AO3 tag itself, while I’m at it!

#ao3 #ao3 tags #tim drake #tim drake fanfiction #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic

[comics-and-mental-breakdowns]

Dc manages to fuck up ever character they have.

Like Tim Drake has the potential to be really good and yet it is a right of passage, noble duty and time honoured tradition in DC/ Batman/Batfam fandom to shit on Tim (he does deserves).

He got the longest solo run and yet he is so………. Meh?

Don’t get me wrong he has his moments but when he is not doing outta pocket shit and having the survival instincts of a wet paper bag, he kinda sucks. He meant to be the smartest Robin and is meant to become a better detective than Batman but in reality he just not that half the time. Why is the kid who saw the protector of his city struggling and decided to put his life in constant danger to help said city and protector as a child either boring or a brat or both? Why does he have the longest solo run when most of his iterations is just him being human white bread? Not even milk toast, just fucking white bread.

This isn’t just a Tim issue. Dc regularly writes characters with massive potential and just never delivered.

Wether through shit writers or corporate shenanigans restricting writers. Or they create a good character but as said character gets bigger, they get fucked over of given a shitty writer and some how the shitty writers version of that character becomes the main version of that character in the fanbase and/or following iterations of said character.

TL;DR: DC is a bitch.

#dc comics #dc #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #dc robin #robin!tim

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I'm kind of surprised that I haven't run into any fics yet where Tim's parents bring something Super Cursed back from one of their archeological digs and either Baby Tim or Robin Tim has to deal with the fallout. Have you/your followers ever encountered one?

I haven’t seen any like that but now I’m very interested

Anyone else seen something along these lines?

#tim drake #you’re giving me ideas #I’m going to obsessively think about this instead of falling asleep tonight #it’s going to be so much fun #okay but in a slightly crack version of this #because that’s where my mind tends to immediately go #imagine a nine or ten year old Tim showing up at the manor in his pjs riding his bike #and as soon as the door opens Tim begins explaining everything #and Bruce and Alfred and maybe Jason are sitting there like what #and then Tim casually drops the fact that he knows who they all are #but Tim doesn’t even notice their reactions because he’s freaking out over this very cursed thing that’s doing very cursed things #fill in the blanks as you will #and Dick shows up because Jason texted him saying there was an emergency #and he comes home to find this small child who greets him as nightwing and asks if any of his friends know how to take care of magic things #and Jason asks Tim why he didn’t ask Bruce that #and Tim very innocently goes #batman has friends? #cue much laughter from Bruce’s children #and then Tim gets adopted and Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia because his new little brother has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag #so Jason doesn’t die

[incorrectbatfamandpals]

Tim: The absolute chutzpah I have whenever I handle anything hot... Maybe, I have hurt my finger again.

Jason: Tim.

Tim: ...I'm gonna keep doing it.

Jason: TIM!

Tim: I'll be more careful next time.

Jason: Will you?

Tim: No.

Jason: Tim.

Tim: But like, it's not gonna give me a second degree burn, it's fine.

Jason: Timothy.

Tim: What? I mean, it's not technically a burn, it's a scold and I have stopped handling the boiling water.

Jason: Good.

Tim: ...for now.

Jason: TIMOTHY

Tim: I don't even think Hashem Himself could get me to stop being like this.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #jason todd #jaytim #jewish tim drake #red hood #red robin #robin #tim drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag and i love him for it

[salparadiselost]

Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag.

Pass it on.

#kay speaks #that’s the message #I’m trying to get ao3 to make it a tag #they haven’t declared enemy to caretaker a tag yet #so maybe I can beat envy in tag creation

[galaxymagitech]

So, I finally read the Gotham War arc from start to finish, and the whole thing was insane, but it has provided even more evidence that Tim has absolutely nonexistent survival instincts.

Early on in the arc, Tim basically says that he’s sympathetic to Catwoman’s ideas. Bruce threatens to arrest him. You’d think Tim would…maybe be more careful? Nope. Later, when Bruce and Jason are fighting, Tim grabs Bruce and attempts to pull him off Jason. Keep in mind, this is a teenager attempting to move a large adult, there is NO way this was going to work, but Tim tries it anyway. And then, Batman throws him off and kicks him hard enough that he flies across the room.

It should be pretty clear at this point that Batman cannot be reasoned with. And yet. And yet. When Nightwing and Batman start fighting, Tim arrives and takes over for Nightwing. But instead of fighting Bruce, Tim says he just wants to talk and they can work this all out. Batman then attacks him and breaks his bo staff with a punch, tells him they can only talk when Tim comes to his senses, and hits Tim hard enough that he, again, goes flying.

You’d think at this point, Tim would’ve long since given up on diplomacy. But nope! Nightwing tags into the fight. And then, as Nightwing is winning, Tim pulls Dick off of Bruce and tells him that fighting isn’t the answer and Bruce “needs help.”

I can’t decide if this is hilarious or horrifying. Like, Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag…but the fact that he’s still defending Batman after this is concerning.

#batman #batman meta #batman spoilers #dc #dc comics #dcu #dc meta #meta #text post #tim drake #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #gotham war

[rusomnia]

[titans tower, ridiculous o'clock in the morning]

tim, tired as fuck and just done: yk. i could take red hood in a fight.

jason, about to fuck this kid up: wanna test that?

#jason todd #tim drake #tim drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag #titans tower #batboys #incorrect quotes #dc universe

[rusomnia]

Tim: heyy

Jason: what did you do

#jason todd #tim drake #tim drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag #and jason knows it #the batboys as things my friends have said #batboys #dcu #incorrect quotes

[thatthirdtriplet]

Relationships:

Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne Tim Drake & Jason Todd Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake Tim Drake & Edward Nygma

Characters:

Tim Drake Jason Todd Dick GraysonBruce Wayne Barbara Gordon original Non-Human Character(s) Alfred Pennyworth Stephanie Brown Cassandra Cain Edward Nygma

Additional Tags:

Caves fluff weird Gotham City Tim Drake-centric BAMF Tim Drake kid Tim Drake the Bat Cave kids are so curious smart Tim Drake Tim please stop running around in Gotham’s cave systems stalker Tim Drake implied/Referenced Child Abuse no beta we die like Robin tiny Tim Drake Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag crack Treated Seriously humour Tim looking at the cave system under the city: you know this might as well happen Bruce please stop him child Neglect Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent inspired by Welcome to Night Vale Hijinks & Shenanigans magic shennanigans BAMF Stephanie Brown BAMF Cassandra Cain Edward Nygma Tries Cryptid Tim Drake Tim Drake is Crow Tim Drake is Not Robin kid Fic Stephanie Brown is Starling Cassandra Cain is Black Bat Cassandra Cain is Black Bird

Summary:

Gotham was built on a cave system. Batman has referenced a Bat Cave before. Tim is currently in the cave system. He is in the cave system that he entered from Drake Manor. Drake Manor is right next door to where Batman- The Bruce Wayne- lives. Holy Cavern, Batman! Tim had just accidentally wandered into the Bat Cave’s cave system.

OR

Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There.

Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.

#tim drake #dick grayson #bruce wayne #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #barbra gordon #edward nygma #original non-human characters #Baby Birds and Bat Caves

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

A Bird in Hand

by ViceroyFallacy Tim has become a capable member of Gotham City, and no one would dare say otherwise. Well, the new Robin might, but everyone else?? They relied on him too much to do so. It'll be fine. Now he just has to figure out how this whole "brothers" thing works... Words: 2144, Chapters: 1/10, Language: English Series: Part 4 of A Robin in Hand is Worth Two in the Bush Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Gotham City Additional Tags: Tim Drake-centric, Tim Drake is Not Adopted, Tim Drake is Not Red Robin, Jason Todd is Not Red Hood, Morally Ambiguous Tim Drake, once again there will be medical inaccuracies, Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag, Batfamily Angst (DCU), Angst, someone get these kids a warm blanket and a nap, We WILL be Dealing with Bruce this time I promise, it'll just take a second but i swear it will happen, Me reading my own notes: what fresh hell is this? via https://ift.tt/z5F1jnU

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the caped crusader #gotham #dcu #dc #ao3 #ao3feed