#Which is way off base from the rest of the game and mostly just focuses on Leshy my beloved <3

[kakusu-shipping]

Hello!!! I'm here to drag you back to those fanfics you wrote back in 2022 for a bit, specifically those three at the top about a DND ex-player challenger.

You think if that challenger forgot their life was at stake before Leshy could monologue about being sad they have to go, ect ect, and the challenger just assumed the game was going to be reset, you think Leshy would play along?

I got this ask like early in surgery recovery last month, read it once, and then promptly forgot about it oops sorry anon kfgjfdkjgd

To answer your question uuuuh... No.. But also yes?

For one; Reader never knew their life was on the line. They're a DnD player they assume the whole spooky atmosphere and Leshy playing up the Sacrifice thing is just immersion. They Stupid just like me fr fr and never really question much of anything around them.

For two, I don't think they were thinking that far ahead. They might not have even thought the game had an end, but if they did I doubt they'd think about it Resetting. They're more in the moment than that, at least that's how I wrote them. But that might not be how you, the Reader, might read them or want them to be, as a you in stand in.

Thus, I never wrote that fic series a boss battle ending because I wanted to leave that part to you, dear reader, really.

So what do you think? When you finally sit down to continue where you left off, to face that final boss Leshy had planned just for you, what happens next?

Do you win? Do you lose? Does it matter? Will he snap the shot or simply reset the board? Does it Matter? Are you even the same person? Does It Matter? You sit at the devil's table and are dealt a hand of cards. You've been here before. Other's have been here before. Their photos are on the wall. Your photo is on the wall. You don't recognize yourself

It doesn't matter.

You're playing a game you love, after all, with someone who loves you very much.

#Inscryption #Leshy X Reader #I don't know the answer to your question anon #Only you do #That is to say it's really whatever you want #The origonal trilogy is based on my own Inscryption Self Insert #Which is way off base from the rest of the game and mostly just focuses on Leshy my beloved <3 #And the concept of him loosing his memories in isolation #I like to imagine Reader here goes through the same #If they're not carded #Or maybe even if they are carded #The game carries on either way #There will always be another player #There will always be another Reader #And they'll make the same choices because the story has already been written as such #The only thing the reader can choose #Is an ending left open for them #Have Fun :)

[xhdream]

LOSER(S)

03. not very friendly of you | 18+

pairing: youtuber!theo x fem!reader

synopsis: the charming guy running the youtube channel you enjoy watching mostly because of him and not the games he’s playing, moves in the apartment across from yours, and turns out to be the biggest asshole you’ve encountered in years

genre: smut w/ sprinkle of plot wc: 1845

chapter contains: dom!reader, masturbation (m), dirty talk, light degradation, humiliation kink, orgasm denial, phone sex, pet names

a/n: please, keep in mind english is not my first language, i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed

!! this is pure fiction for entertainment purposes

📁 loser(s) masterlist

“Taeyang!” You turn the key to lock the door behind you after taking a heedful look around the empty corridor. There’s nobody else in the restroom too, but you still keep your voice low, wanting to be on the alert for any approaching footsteps. “You can’t send me nudes while I’m at work!”

“Oh…” Taeyang’s familiar voice draws out from the speaker of your cellphone. Of course, he sounds amused by the way you react. “I thought we’re fuck buddies.”

“We are, but what does that have to do with it?” You stare at your own confused expression in the mirror, fixing a few strands of your hair.

“Denying me what I want is not very friendly of you, don’t you think?”

“Don’t start acting like a brat right now.”

“I’m asking a simple question, Y/N.” He states with a dry laugh at the end of his sentence. “Why are you so rude?”

“I’m not rude, you’re just too sensitive, Tae.” You explain on the instant.

You feel your stomach flutter when the only thing you receive as a response is a deep sigh of relief. You recognise that sound. You know it too well; you’ve heard it before and at this point it’s engraved in your mind and you know what it means.

“You’re not…” You begin to say, but the rest of the words melt in your brain after a familiar airy moan creeps through your phone.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, sweetheart… Fuck, your voice is enough to get me hard.”

You roll your eyes frustrated with both of you at this moment. More in particular how every small thing he does always leaves an effect on you, and how that effect always has you running to fulfil his needs like they’re your own.

“Fine,” you sulk, “I can spare you five minutes of my time.”

You hear him cuss, but through a smile which smugness you can identify so clearly in his tone. His arousal rings from everywhere as you hold the phone pressed against your ear; from the way he suddenly takes extra time to form an answer, to the sounds of his figure shifting in his seat and his excited breathing.

“You gonna cum quick for me, right baby boy? They can’t catch me ditching work for a pervert who can’t cum by himself.”

“Yeah, fuck—“ Taeyang goes silent for a few seconds before creating another sound of pleasure. It comes out muffled like he has his lip tucked between his teeth. “I will, but I wanna see you first.”

“Is that the way to say it?” You utter firmly, but your hands are already preparing to turn on the camera.

“Please… now.” Taeyang whines. “Can I see you now, gorgeous? Please.”

“I don’t have time to teach you basic manners, Tae. Watch your mouth.”

Taeyang’s hooded eyes widen slightly at the sight of your silhouette appearing on his phone screen. His gaze becomes more focused now that he can see your seductive eyes and playful curled lips that he hasn’t bitten in a while, but their taste still lingers on his tongue.

“Hi,” he smirks.

“Hi,” you chuckle, as your fingers slowly start to undo the first buttons of your uniform shirt.

“Fuck, I love this.” He humms in bliss, tugging the base of his length slow and steady. “Take it off, c’mon, baby.”

The view of your cleavage revealing in such slow motion is torturous. He wishes he could just rip off the entire thing from your body.

“Shhh, you’re talking too much.” You put the clothing on the counter and bend over to give him a good view of your boobs that are held by your lacy bra.

“God, wanna fuck them so bad…”

Taeyang’s mind instantly paints the picture - you laying in his bed while he makes himself cum with your plush boobs squishing his cock perfectly.

“You only get to watch,” you tease him, propping up on the cold counter.

You close your lips around your index finger as you watch the pace of his fist move up and down quicker than seconds before. Heavy breaths leave his chest and you can hear them echo dangerously between the tiled walls of the restroom.

You pull out your finger slowly, and swipe it along your bottom lip in an even slower motion, because Taeyang’s eyes earnestly follow every movement of yours. You want him to really remember how your mouth feels around his dick; how your lips feel when they suck on his tongue.

“Wish I was there to play with your big cock, you’re doing a pathetic job.”

And he hears you make that laugh again - the one that for a moment makes him feel like an object of scorn. It pushes him a step closer to the edge, until…

“Stop.”

Taeyang's hand pulls back on the instant.

Forcing himself to fight back the pleasure that was seconds away from bursting was infuriating, but he didn't even hesitate. He leans back in his gaming chair, gripping the arms while waiting for his nerves to calm down.

The intense tormented groan that left his throat continues to play in your head. It wasn’t too loud, nor too desperate, because of his ability to always have control over his own emotions, but it was powerful enough to send a rush of delight from his body straight into yours.

You speak up with condescending sneer.

“Don’t tell me you were already about to cum.” You glance at his grips that don’t dare to make a move, then at his head that’s leaning back weakly. “You still have three more minutes.”

You notice his cock twitch at your words. The desire to wrap your lips around its oozing tip floods your core with warmth, making you cross your legs together.

“You must really miss me.”

And like that, his dick twitches again as a reaction to the sentence rolling off your tongue.

“You love playing with my cock like that, don’t you?” Taeyang finally peers at you from his phone. Despite his voice being low and lazier, he still sounds confident like always.

You watch with interest how his hand gets a hold of his stiff base once again. You can only imagine the way he throbs in his palm, it’s probably something close to the embarrassing clenching of your empty pussy right now.

You notice the transparent essence, a sign of pure desperation, and how it gets smeared all over his veiny skin, causing his cock to glisten on your screen.

“That’s why you’re so wet right now just from watching me. I don’t need to touch you to know.”

You find it hard to comprehend how his gaze can have the same impact through the small screen as it does when you look at him in person. It makes it harder to not pay special attention to his words, but you try your best.

To distract yourself from the heat you step back with hands behind your back.

“You’ll never learn, poor Taeyang…” You unclasp your bra and the moment Taeyang sees your bare boobs; the way your nipples perk up from the sudden cold air, he gradually revives the previous rapid speed after spiting in his palm. “Losers like you only know to run their greedy mouths and nothing else.”

“Come over tonight,” he manages to dismiss your comment.

The change in the conversation doesn't distract his busy hand though, it proceeds to tug his erection, mixing the spit with his arousal. You can hear it clearly.

“Awh, my panties don’t do it for you anymore?” You ask with a fake concern.

He's unable to come up with an answer to that. The only reaction you get is the knit of his brows and his eyes closing from the growing sensation.

You lean forward again.

“I can’t, I’ll be having dinner with my colleagues.”

Taeyang catches his lower lip between his teeth, bringing his attention back on your tits. You toy with them seductively in front of the camera, and he swears he can almost feel the softness under his own fingertips… your skin getting goosebumps like it always does when he runs his tongue on the sensitive part under your ear.

“Boring as fuck.” The pressure in his comment is clear. “You’ll have so much more fun here with me.”

It may be true, but you can’t let ‘here’ become a habit of yours. Someone would think that you and Taeyang see each other every night since it’s so convenient that you live on the same floor, but it’s not like that. Friends with benefits have boundaries too.

“I’m having enough fun watching your pathetic attempt to please yourself right now.” You smile at the camera. “Fist it faster, babe, c’mon… wanna see you make a mess on your tummy.”

Taeyang's head falls back while the speed of his fist grows more intense. You can sense that he’s close from the forceful sound echoing around you.

“Show me how bad you want me.”

Your mouth waters at the merciless dance of his hand along his length especially with the way it causes his voice to get thinner and his breaths hitched, slipping quickly as he exhales in a rush.

While you on the other hand, are speechless.

You would’ve never guessed that an image of a man jerking himself off would ever leave such an effect on you. But here you are, locked in the bathroom at work, eyes wide, eating up Taeyang’s body as he’s reaching for his climax, and he looks so madly attractive. The sight cannot compare to any pornographic content you’ve ever seen, and you're extremely picky.

His eyes are squeezed shut, covered from his messy dark hair; his lips tremble because of the continuous moans as his adam's apple moves vividly… and then there’s the exposed surface of pale skin that you cannot wait to see painted with cum - his abs that clench with desperation as he holds his shirt up with one hand, making you wish you were there to glide your nails all over them.

“You’re so hot, Tae…” You think out loud. You’re too immersed in his pleasure to hold onto any of your thoughts. “Cum for me.”

The relieved expression on Taeyang’s face after he releases all over his stomach is seductive and provoking more than ever before. There’s a hint of self satisfaction in his parted lips and the way he looks at you afterwards. It’s like he knows what he just did to you. He’s aware that this is all that you’ll think about for the rest of the day; then for the rest of the night too while you’re out with your coworkers instead of having your legs tangled in his bedsheets.

Your inability to say anything feeds his ego, resulting to him being content with the quick show he gave you. Especially with the ending when he dragged your name out through his moan seconds before he spilled his cum right where you wanted to see it.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

↳ next chapter

#— loser(s) #p1harmony smut #p1harmony hard thoughts #p1harmony hard hours #choi taeyang smut #theo smut #theo hard thoughts #taeyang hard thoughts #piwon smut #piwon x reader #theo x reader #taeyang x reader #p1harmony x reader #p1h x reader

[phoward89]

Based on this ask

Your day started as it normally does. You woke up in your boyfriend's arms, trying to wiggle away from him without disturbing his sleep. And like every morning, Coryo woke up, only to hold you closer and press a good morning kiss to your lips.

“Morning, darling.” He greeted you, voice rough with sleep.

“Morning, Coryo “ You replied with a smile.

“Where are you going, baby?” Coryo asked as you tried to get up.

“I need to pee and we have to get ready.” You told the platinum blonde, whose curls were messily resting against his red silk pillowcase like a halo. When Coriolanus made no move to let you get up, you lightly rubbed his chest while reminding him, “We both have classes today and you have that meeting with Dr. Gaul to see if you're qualified to be promoted from an intern to a full time gamemaker position.”

“I think you're more nervous about my meeting than I am.” Your boyfriend sighed, letting his hold on you go.

“It's a very important meeting, Coryo. Of course I'm nervous for you.” You told your boyfriend as he sat on the edge of the bed, slipping on his slippers. Before he could stand up, you wrapped your arms around him from behind. Resting your head against his shoulder, you said, “I know how much you want to become a gamemaker.” The blonde man didn't say a word, just placed his large hand over yours. He ran the calloused pad on his thumb over his knuckles as you continued your thoughts with, “You're always pushing yourself to be the best. And to become the youngest gamemaker in Panem's history while enrolled at the University as a double major's an honor, one that I know you want to have.”

“You know me so well, Y/N.” Coriolanus lightly chuckled. Gently unwrapping your arms from around him and standing up, he sighed, “We better get on with our morning.”

After doing your morning routine of showering, dressing, and eating breakfast, Coryo drove you both to Capitol University, the most esteemed university in all of Panem. Since you were a couple of years younger than him, your classes were mostly pre-recs and were on the other side of the campus then the major focused classes. So, you and your boyfriend parted ways with a kiss shortly after arriving in the parking lot of the University.

Coriolanus took off towards where his classes and friends were while you took off to find your own friends and attend your classes.

Everything was going fine until lunchtime rolled around.

You usually ate lunch with your friends, a small group of girls that you've known since your academy days. Sometimes Coriolanus would join you, bringing Clemensia and Festus to tag along. Other times, which was usually all the time, your boyfriend spent his lunch hour in the library studying, working on projects, and drawing up proposals to hand to Dr. Gaul concerning the games.

Unfortunately for you, this afternoon was one of those days that Coryo was holed up in the University library, doing something productive in his quest for academic supremacy and power.

Usually, it'd be fine and you'd just eat in the University dining hall with your friends, but not today.

No…

Today you got into a fight with your friends. A fight that started over a simple disagreement. It was a silly disagreement really. A disagreement that started over, of all things, dresses for the upcoming Spring Ball.

One of your friends got upset that you simply told her that maybe she shouldn't plan to wear a black dress, but maybe something pastel since she already wore black a few months back for the Yule Ball. She snapped at you and even made a snide remark about how you could afford to buy a thousand dresses and for a thousand balls since you're shacking up with Coriolanus Snow. The remark hurt, but what hurt worse was that your other friends backed her up; attacked you too.

The lunch fight got so heated with all the screaming, yelling, shouting, and crying that the other students eating in the dining hall stopped what they were doing to watch and listen in.

Yea, your fight with your friends was quickly becoming a spectacle for gossip.

Feeling overwhelmed by sadness, you gathered your things and rushed out of the dining hall. Unfortunately, your absence was the perfect opportunity for your friends to start spreading lies about you. To make it seem like you weren't a good friend, that you were greedy, etc.

The girls you've been friends with since your Academy Days were being petty. Ruining years of friendship. And for what?

A simple disagreement. Or was there more to it? Was jealousy over your relationship with Coryo the true cause of it?

Your day went from bad to worse when your phone kept going off left and right with Pangram notifications. As it turns out, your friends weren't your friends anymore and they were posting all kinds of mean things about you. Even tagging you in the posts too. And your best friend, well she was petty enough to post the glittery words of Fuck You on her social media.

Words aimed at you.

And the worst part was that you're dealing with all of this alone since your boyfriend has his own studies to worry about. And, of course, he has a very important meeting with Dr. Gaul about his future career.

Usually you'd catch a ride home with one of your friends if Coryo had work or meeting scheduled at the Citadel, but not today.

Today you had to walk home from the University since you lost your friends. And, of course, your mind kept replaying everything as you walked home.

And when you finally got home, you dropped your books on the glass star shaped coffee table and made a mad dash to your bedroom before Grandma’am could realize that you were home and ask about your day.

You adored Coriolanus' grandmother, you really did, but sometimes she could be a bit much. And after the day you had, well, you just didn't want to deal with her. In fact, you didn't want to deal with anybody at the moment.

All you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.

When Coriolanus walked into the penthouse he had a huge smile on his face. He was on the right track for graduating Summa Cum Laude and being the Valedictorian of his class. He was also given an assistant gamemaker position, which was amazing consider that made him the youngest gamemaker on Dr. Gaul's staff.

Dr. Gaul has told Coriolanus that he had a drive that she hadn't seen since she taught his father. That, in fact, his drive for success surpassed that of the late General Snow’s. That he, Coriolanus Snow, was destined for great things; to be a great contributor to Panem. She even told him that she saw political potential in him.

Coryo couldn't wait to tell both you and Grandma'am about his great news, but when he came home he was only met with the sight of Grandma’am in a sitting chair, watching one of her late afternoon Capitol TV soaps, and your books on the glass coffee table. He instantly knew that something was wrong. You'd never ignore Grandma’am. Not unless you weren't feeling well.

No. You loved his Grandma’am. Adored her, enjoyed her company.

“Is Y/N feeling unwell?” Coriolanus asked his Grandma'am, his icy blue eyes shifting between her and your books.

“I'm not sure, Coryo. I didn't see her come in.” The old woman, dressed in a fine tunic and a matching jeweled turbin, told her grandson.

“I’ll check on her, Grandma'am. Just continue watching your soap.” He told her before walking down the hall towards his room. The room that he's been sharing with you ever since he moved you in.

“Darling, are you unwell?” Coryo asked, opening the door and stepping inside of the bedroom.

The site of you curled up in a ball on the bed, crying, gutted him. He hates to see you cry.

And whoever made you cry was dead. Coriolanus would personally make sure of it. Nobody makes his baby cry and gets away with it

Nobody.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” Coryo asked, rushing over to the bed.

And when you felt him wrap his arms around you, you broke down. You told him everything that happened. About the fight and how you lost all of your friends. About how they pettily posted shit on Pangram all day and how they've been gossiping about you; talking trash.

Coriolanus just let you spill your guts to him. The more you told him, the more he began to scheme up ideas to make those girls pay for what they did to you.

And they were going to pay.

Their families were going to pay too.

All because they made you cry. When they made the girlfriend of Coriolanus Snow cry, well, they just opened up Pandora's box. And once that bitch’s open, it doesn't close.

As Coryo spooned you, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and assured you, “You’ll feel better now that you've cried it out, baby” He nuzzled your neck, only to tell you, “I'm sorry those bitches did that to you, Y/N. You're the sweetest girl I know; you didn't deserve that.”

“It hurts, Coryo.” You sniffled. Staring out the window that was by the bed, you sighed, “I thought they were my friends. I've known them for years, just for them to turn on me because of a comment about a dress.”

Everything clicked in Coriolanus mind as soon as he heard you say ‘just for them to turn on me because of a comment about a dress’. Those words were all it took for him to realize that your friends were jealous of you because you belonged to him. They were jealous because he moved you into his house and spoiled you with clothes, jewelry, sweets, and anything else you could possibly want. They're jealous because he's rich, the Plinth heir, and he's showering you (his girl that made him fall in love again, even though he swore he'd never love anyone ever again) in luxury.

“They're jealous, baby.” Your boyfriend told you.

“I know.” You sadly nodded.

Pressing a kiss to your cheek, Coriolanus promised, “Baby, I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again.”

And he kept that promise.

Coriolanus made your former friends pay for what they done to you. For making you cry.

He ruined and bankrupted their families. He also ruined their reputations and had them expelled from the University.

Your Coryo made sure that everyone knew that if they messed with you then they messed with him. Safe to say, everyone kisses your ass out of fear that your boyfriend would make them disappear or make their lives a living hell.

Coriolanus also made sure that you were accepted into his friend circle. Those snotty rich kids at least didn't backstab their friends.

Well, Coriolanus did out of that group, but he wouldn't be backstabbing them til years later when he got deep into his presidential campaigns.

But for now, Coryo was just your supportive boyfriend that held you as you cried, dried your tears, and made everything all better for you.

Tags: @kuroosbby001, @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst, @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen, @whiteoakoak, @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth

#coriolanus snow #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #thg #coriolanus snow x reader #coryo snow #coriolanus fanfiction #tbosas fanfiction #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coryo snow fanfiction #coryo snow x reader #coryo x reader #soft!coriolanus snow #soft!coriolanus snow x reader

[yuikomorii]

i think i can forgive yui for anything even toxic simply because she suffered the most because of those guys and deserves to get her lick back. they put her through so much in earlier games, it's insane

// PARDON?? 😀😀

I understand that the Diaboys were bitchy at first and they all treated others as less (which is bad), but other than Laito, Kanato and Carla, nobody made Yui suffer that bad to the point of breaking her. Kou was pretty nasty too at first, but the rest weren’t that horrible route based for characters supposed to be monsters. At the very least, I can name some human LIs who were way worse than most Diaboys, yet nobody seems to hate on them for that. I understand that it must be tiring being pushed around and being treated as “prey”, yet we’re talking about vampires here. They are predators and don’t have the same set of morals as humans do, for this reason humans are a mere food source for them. They can’t live without blood, even if this means having to sacrifice humans to satisfy their hunger. We love cats despite the fact that they like torturing mice before killing them, and that’s because we understand that it’s just how the predator instinct works. The Diaboys might look humanized, but they are a whole difference existence and you shouldn’t hold them at human standards. It’s good that DL showed how vampires were truly supposed to act, instead of making them romantic and flirty from the start.

Even the whole Adam’s apple plan focuses on Eve, a human, making Adam, a vampire, learn about human feelings. One thing about the Diaboys is that they all had growth. If someone is shown regretting their behavior and is genuinely changing into a better person just for you, it’s very insensitive to remind them about what they did a long time ago. They are aware of their actions and they are aware they were in the wrong, therefore bringing up their past mistakes won’t make you a better person than them. A Diaboy could sacrifice everything for Yui and put his life on the verge each and every time she’s in danger, but some of you guys would still only see him as “bad”, which would be a huge insult to his character, given that it would erase all the development he went through.

I’m not going to count the bad endings here, but saying that you forgive all of Yui’s toxic actions is very toxic itself. She is an abuse apologist herself, who tried to convince Ayato that his mother secretly cared for him (despite knowing the full story), Subaru that Karlheinz loved him and the Mukamis that Karlheinz, after he committed a whole genocide, saved them to redeem himself. These are all very wrong. Karlheinz always used everyone for his plans, just like Cordelia used her children for her selfish desires. Neither of them were ever shown regretting their actions. This is just one example of Yui’s toxic actions and I’m not saying that she did them with ill will, but stupidity can make one problematic too. It gives off the same vibes as “but they’re your parents”, after hearing someone talk about how much their parents hurt them.

It’s not that hard to admit that all DL characters have red flags. Nobody in this franchise is meant to be a role model and it’s okay if you don’t like certain actions. I’m a Yui stan, but I get why several people from the otoge community don’t really like her. However, I’m surprised that they see her as really that bad. I mean, she still is mostly kind and sweet, therefore I don’t think her bitchy moments are more significant. Yet, I suppose this has more to do with how they perceive things.

#admin

[eddwardtheseventhspacewizard]

Can’t sleep, gonna rant about Sozo.

Also this is a long ass post and I tried my best to break it up. It’s mostly speculation about menticide tbh.

So I’ve been thinking about how the menticide is obviously based on cordyceps, we already know that but, I was thinking about how when he becomes Sozonius he has no memory of what happened while he was infected. The thing is cordyceps doesn’t actually control the brain really. It more so cuts the brain off from the rest of the body and controls the body. In fact there was a study focused on the mandibles of infected ants and there was fungus in them and affecting them. It’s because the cordyceps will make an ant move to a higher space under a leaf or something and then the ant will clamp down on it so even after they die they stay firmly in place and the fungus can fully mature and spread more spores to the unsuspecting ants below. Fungi are very picky about temperature and that’s why they move to a higher space. That’s also why cordyceps doesn’t infect humans. Also the ants infected are typically carpenter ants.

Anyway back to menticide. I believe the menticide is not entirely dependent on a host for spreading spores. While the shrooms we pick in Anura very well could’ve sprouted from corpses (maybe even ones sacrificed to Heket) we can take them back to our own farm and grow them no corpses required and I doubt they’re catching spiders at night. They don’t get quite as large as the ones in Anura though. It could be that those ones are years old but I doubt that because Sozo. There could also just be more desirable growing conditions in Anura leading to the larger fungi which is much more likely I think. Those growing conditions may or may not include a sacrifice but the most we can do right now is speculate and headcannon.

I also would like to think that our followers end up being fine after the brain washing ritual because they take smaller doses (much smaller than Sozo takes) and due to the cool down they take it way less frequently. Also the position of the cult in that sorta valley region likely does no favors for the menticide, this can be backed up by the farm as I mentioned just before.

I think Sozo’s followers end up being “fine” after his rituals because they themselves are mushrooms. Not just mushrooms but clearly also menticide. I put fine in quotations because there is an implication of cannibalism but also we get to commit cannibalism in our cult too so it probably actually is fine in the game. Anyway I don’t think a menticide mushroom would infect itself but that does bring to question why it would brain wash itself and why there even are shrooms with brains in the first place.

I saw another theory (I don’t remember who posted it, I’m so sorry) that proposed that the Mushroomos may be the result of sacrifice in Anura. Remember when I mentioned the shrooms there and how they’re larger? Maybe some of them do sprout from corpses and if left to grow they gradually become more humanoid and then eventually, Mushroomo. Maybe the shrooms we collect already produced a Mushroomo. I don’t know but there’s some interesting speculative biology there. I’m still not sure why the menticide has any effect on them though seeing as Dr. Sozonius mentions that they offered him some. That kinda implies that they already ate it unless they intentionally infected him. But why would they do that?

What would be the motive? Is it because he’s an ant? Are ants better hosts? Did that want him to spread the spores? Why wouldn’t the Mushroomos use his corpse for anything? Is it respect? Is it disrespect?! Why where we able to plant a mushroom get an ant and then remove the mushroom from the mushroom ant!!?? Is that guy in our cults really Sozo or does it just believe it is Sozo?

There were no signs to show Sozo was old. It is undeniable that Sozonius is elderly. Maybe the menticide does have some anti-aging properties but as soon as the shroom is removed the affect is reversed. Maybe it also has healing or regenerative properties. Maybe that’s why we were able to “grow” Sozo. Maybe that’s why his follower form is also so small and lacks some limbs (totally not just a convenient game design thing or anything lmao) anyway I think when we remove the shroom from Sozo’s head it does have him on it so when we plant it it regenerates him from that little bit. That does technically make him a sorta clone seeing as his corpse is still back at Spore Grotto. This theory also means that if he stayed in the ground a bit longer then maybe his whole body would’ve gone back to how it was before. Or maybe not though. Maybe the regeneration from the menticide is limited. Maybe it would still regenerate him out of the ground but we removed it so he won’t fully grow back now (keeping with 100%ing the story of course. I know some of you don’t because you think Sozonius is boring, which is sad but fair. From a story perspective though the lamb does cure him though so I’m going with that)

Also if ants are better hosts and they wanted him to spread the spores imagine if accidentally got his whole colony killed. I’m starting to enter fanfic territory lol.

Sozo manages to spread the menticide and gets his colony wiped out. He either has a higher tolerance or compatibility or something or the Mushroomos are intentionally keeping him alive. I don’t know why. Uh cheap answer is vague prophecy I guess? Anyway you know when you read Sozo’s mind while he’s in jail and he thinks “ where is Mimi?” I don’t have a screenshot rn sorry. But who the fuck is Mimi? And imagine the devastation Sozonius would feel knowing he got them killed. Sozo and Dr. Sozonius remind me of Ice King and Simon so like what if Mimi is almost his Betty or something?

Oh shit! I almost forgot about how I mentioned that cordyceps doesn’t actually control the mind but menticide does. I just thought that would be interesting to explore because what if Sozo what still somewhat conscious as Sozonius while having no real control over his body. Terrifying as shit.

#cult of the lamb #cotl sozo #dr. sozonius

[nono-bunny]

Thoughts from watching the ATLA live action!

I initially wanted this to all be one post but. It got too long and also Tumblr accidentally posted it once instead of just drafting as I asked while I was writing it and I had to reconstruct the whole thing so I'm just going to make one post per episode I think.

So, episode 1!

Oh my god the show really opens on just showing the letters "Capital City", genuinely that's kind of hilarious?? I kinda always thought of it as Caldera City collectively because Capital City sounds dumb (very The Hunger Games of them, ngl) but like... I do recognize that it's only technically the rich district- even so I feel like maybe they should've reimagined that one in particular because honestly it's always been confusing for the capital to have two cities in it (Harbor City is the other one, basically the poor people district). Anyway not a big deal overall, just... Kind of funny to not change this

Truly a weird way to start the show with just some random Earth Kingdom revolutionaries, but based on the fact that I've heard they're not in it I'm just headcanoning it to be Haru and Tyro lmao otherwise it's just. A truly bizarre choice

Oh never mind they're??? Opening before the war??? They literally have Ozai in the first season, why wouldn't they just have a menacing Sozin in a war room, with like maybe some very subtle hints to him grieving someone who died disagreeing with him, and him going forward with it anyway? Idk it's genuinely very strange to open a show with such iconic and recognizable characters by focusing on some random mostly irrelevant people you're never gonna see again because the story takes place a hunder years in the future. I mean, it was a cool fight scene (when I could see it lmao, I wish it wasn't so dark- would've looked great in a cinema but this should have been made for people watching on home screens) but?? Why should I care about these people or what they're doing, either as a veteran who knows they don't matter or as someone new to the story who DOESN'T know that they're never going to see them again?

Oh shit wait, AGAIN??? They keep zagging on me lmao this is like. Exactly what I wanted!! I read they started things off with a lot of fighting and showing the war so I thoght this was what it was but no!! The random guy meets non other than Sozin... Who genuinely looks incredible and does a fantastic job at portraying exactly what I wanted!! I think there's something in the eyes specifically? Like, there's a certain sadness mixed with idealism there, which works really well with how determined, calculating and cold he otherwise is. He feels 100% like the sort of guy who'd reasonably be the ancestor to the mess that is the Royal Family we see during the rest of the show, and I'm genuinely really happy about it! Sozin feels like the sort of madman who believes in his own just and it's perfect, like, the exact vibe I got from him in the original!

Is Gyatso talking to Bryke rn or...?? Lmao fr Aang never learned any of the things he mentions which is why he was a bad Avatar, and why in the end I don't like canon OG Aang. Addressing it in the first episode is extremely bold of the LA tbh, but you know I love to see it! Also everyone was talking about how Aang wasn't silly enough, but literally in the OG he was too silly and never learned to take responsibility or work with others so?? This Aang that is already blending a whimsical air with what seems like a degree of emotional intelligence the original lacked is!! Such an improvement in my eyes, actually! I'm hoping they manage to properly resolve these things this time around, but already their direction with him just within minutes of meeting him feels a lot more palatable to me. Also they rewrote that scene in a way that makes Gyatso infinitely more likeable because now he actually GETS it, OG Gyatso was a kind man but in the end... He was wrong, he coddled Aang too much. Here, in a universe where the Air nomads want to help defend the rest of the world, he recognizes that while Aang is needed, he genuinely isn't capable of helping yet which!! Also feels like an improvement in terms of co-nation relations, it feels like there actually used to be a harmony of sorts before! It will help make the Air Nomads feel less out of place and "out of sight out of mind" in the bad way they were in the original. The Air Nomads already planning to get involved also feels like a way to rid Aang of his idealistic and childhish views of his own culture in a much more direct way than the more subtle approach just showing Gyatso surrounded by skeletons of people he likely killed. Also, again, saw people complain aboit the Air Nomads wanting to get involved being ooc and?? Okay, so? Have you maybe considered that them being so insular that their loss was barely felt in the original whenever they didn't need to make Aang have an emotional moment was a bad thing??? Like, I get that it isn't in line with their characterization, but personally? Them choosing not to get involved in an attempted genocide was always a bad look tbh, and as far as I'm concerned, this is a fix and a way to make them look much better than just like. Hermits unconcerned with the world- they care, they want to help! Honestly overall everyone in the Air Nomads looks so much better here, this feels like a net good in terms of like... Idk Air Nomad publicity lmao. Also, showing the different temples coming together to celebrate is!! Incredible, I wholeheartedly love that addition to the lore!

Ngl tbh so far this feels like a fanfic I'd read, in like. Literally the best possible way

Yo the "Gyatso and Roku were friends" theory looking realll possible rn with that "you will always be my friend" line 👀

Ah so I see what people meant about Aang's characterization in this episode being a bit tell-y rather than show-y, that's fair. That said, it was a really nice scene that established the bond between him and Appa quite well imo! Also now I'm genuinely curious as to whether they'll have him get a bit drunk with power like in the original considering the focus they're putting on how much he needs to NOT do that!

To everyone saying Aang running away was important and should not have been cut- no, it fucking wasn't, it was one of his biggest unresolved character flaws that got ignored when the destroyed his character arc in season 3 and I'm fucking glad it's gone. I do find it interesting that here Aang basically only just finds out about being the Avatar before getting frozen rather than having a bit more time to get used to the idea and see how it changes things for him- it makes it that in a way, this Aang has both a lot more and a lot less baggage! Essentially his entire journey of discovery of what it means to be pronounced the Avatar will happen alongside people who never knew him as anything but, it's an extremely finite and dramatic closing of the chapter of his life where he wasn't the Avatar- it kinda shows he has no room for confusion anymore, he must now become The Avatar because that's essentially his people's last request of him. It's a very different sort of vibe from "I wasn't willing", it's "I wasn't ready", and that is much more easily fixable in a shorter show! Also the og literally just "solved" the willingness issue by having him enjoy the benefits and refuse to do any of the work so. Not sad to see it go at all

Battlefield Sozin?! Firebending rockets?! Wilhelm scream?! Cool battle scene all around tbh, really heartbreakin and difficult to watch, which means they did a good job with it! I do still wish it was brighter though lmao

Uhh forgot to type anything for a while because I was crying but. Yeah I generally really liked the portrayal of life on Wolf Cove! There are definitely some very noticeable changes with our two leads here, and I actually don't think they're necessarily bad, they just feel very strange and might take a bit to get used to. Katara actually isn't passive, which is weird considering that's how a lot of people described her? She's just extremely cautious. All of her defining traits feel like they're still there, but some of them do feel like they're lying a bit under the surface due to her situation which! Makes sense as an alternative way of writing her! Sokka genuinely feels like such a big brother here, I like the emphasis on his sense of responsibility and how he doesn't quite know how to be a real leader yet- it goes very well with a Katara who desperately wants to be a fighter but can't and has to try and blend in. Both of them have very clear aspirations and the traits that will eventually allow them to get to where they want to be, but they're very far from reaching them at the start. A lot of the scenes do feels kinda awkward tbh, but idk, I think they do a fine enough job at what they attempt to.

Now, hearing that Katara wasn't the one to break Aang out in a fit of anger wasn't a deal breaker for me actually, but? Honestly the way he gets out is just needlessly confusing here, genuinely unclear if Katara did it or he just... Idk somehow reacted to another bender's presence or whatever. Idk, it felt extremely weird and I think just like? A bit of clarification here as to what happened could've saved this scene without it having to happen via anger if that's the way they wanna go with Katara, and specifically her relationship with Sokka (which, again, does really feel authentic and well done here imo!)

Aang saying that Katara is the only one who tried to fight for him is fucking wild, but I guess that's the impression he got given that Gyatso told him he had to go away and he didn't hear the meeting about him here. Still a wild thing for him to say, felt really weird right alongside Sokka being the bravest person he ever met. Idk that whole exchange was off and awkward and just... Strange

Iroh doing his best to help and teach Aang when he can is very sweet. Idk how to feel about how hard he's already going in on the whole "your daddy doesn't love you" thing with Zuko tbh, because it does make Zuko appear much less lost when he's got someone who's giving him the answers rather than leading him to them, it's kinda a book 2 vibe from them? It's strange. Also a straight talking Iroh feels so strange in general, literally his only "eccentric" quality so far is loving Jasmine tea and very clearly not being down with the war, it's... Certainly A Choice, but not one I'm really enjoying so far tbh

There's something really interesting about Katara immediately relaxing and allowing herself to be silly and mischievous around Sokka here, it's kind of a flip from their dynamic in the original but there's something really fun and sweet about seeing those hidden aspects of her come out around the one person she knows and trusts to accept and protect her just as fiercely as she would him. It's definitely different, but I'm genuinely really enjoying the unique spin they put on their relationship and how it correlates with their own individual personalities and how they perceive and present themselves.

Taking the burden of always being the only one who can bring Aang out of the Avatar State away from Katara feels like a big relief. Also in general I like the way they still kept Aang's attachment to Gyatso and his parallels with Katara, while also solidifying Sokka and Aang friendship which wasn't really... A thing in the original? Having Sokka protect and reach out to Aang feels much more personal here in a way than it did originally, I think maybe the weird scene where Aang praises them kinda worked to serve that? Idk I've read people saying they don't feel like a family but more like friends here but. They never did in the original in season 1 either tbh. If anything there's a sense of everyone being equal here which the original lacked in places, I like how both Sokka and Katara support and save Aang in equal measure here and how they look out for each other as well. Aang is kinda naturally a mess this whole episode but here's hoping he returns the favor for them for once in the future!

Edit: dammit Tumblr literally just did it again I didn't mean to post this yet, but I'm kind of at the end of the episode so fuck it, it stays I don't wanna reconstruct it in the drafts again. If I have anything to add it'll go after this.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #atla live action #avatar the last airbender live action #natla

[blackjackkent]

OK, heading into the Foundry we're IMMEDIATELY tossed into another huge combat.

The good news, though, is only two Steel Watchers, plus there's some more angry Gondians down here fighting the good fight.

Fundamentally the strategy here seems to be getting the Steel Watchers out of the way as quickly as possible and then taking the rest apart at our leisure. I'm learning to fight the SWs a little better; the big thing I've picked up is that they don't have reactions while they're in About To Explode mode which means I actually can play a little bit closer and get all our good melees off and then run away at the last minute.

The Gondians are doing their best, bless them, and definitely getting some significant hits in, but they are VERY squishy and pretty dumb; they keep doing things like running straight for exploding Steel Watchers and setting each other on fire. Pretty sure keeping all of them alive is a lost cause so I"m mostly just focusing on making sure Toobin doesn't blow himself up before we can get to the Neurocitor.

(Update: The Gondians did all end up dead, despite my best efforts. Toobin got REALLY depressed about it, understandably, and Hector had to pass a persuasion check to convince him to keep going. He nat-20'd the check though so Toobin has regained his nerve.)

And hey, hit level 12! Hector is officially as powerful as he's going to get. With our final level going into monk, we get evasion (half or no damage on dexterity-saving-throw based attacks) and stillness of mind (can't be charmed or frightened). These seem like they will be quite useful in the fights to come.

Found on one of the Baneite guards:

Oh dear. XD

There's a Bane shrine in one corner of the foundry, and a large pile of bloodied dead bodies in another.

Oh, Christ. This didn't occur to me before... but if the Watchers have tadpoles in them, that means they have somebody's brain, doesn't it?

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. FUCK these guys.

Quick pass back out to the main room to pick up some materials, as @zenjestrr has explained to me that I can use that crafting table from before to make a Steel Watcher crossbow that shoots lightning arrows and is one of the best in the game. So we're going to grab that and short rest before moving on.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #fuck bane and fuck gortash #in case anyone was wondering

[night-market-if]

I've read an article before that Interactive fiction (specially text-based ones) are getting popular because "it has something to do with a desire to reclaim a meaningful sense of agency in our lives" and I think a lot of people who plays IF games, all have that mindset when playing and that's why a lot of published games in this type of media are mostly "player-centered". And since the main protagonist in book one still doesn't have that much control in the game's story like most text adventure games, I think most people assumed it was a character-relationships based one and when they still didn't get that much choice in that matter, they got "upset" because they couldn't understand the kind of approach the author's going for, are they telling a story on a 'traditional' print text (where the reader is expectedly passive) or not? There's a lot of IF games that doesn't focused on romance/companionship, which a few successfully deeply branched out the game enough to lose the reader/player's focus on the "romance" part and instead gives more attention to the story more. And I thought too, that with the way that you're creating the Night Market is way different from the norm. It's new to them. So I think it can create some kind of misunderstanding between the author and the readers and it requires a lot of patience from both side to fully understand each other. We're still in Book One after all ^^.

Sorry english isn't my native language hope I explained well 😅. I do love the game! It's just... I've noticed a lot of people can get too attached to characters in IFs because they got to be a part of the story through the MC after all and got to experience being with certain characters, it's expected of them to feel sad when they couldn't continue the relationship because they have different "preferences". For them, It's like trying to salvage a relationship in real life but couldn't and it's heartbreaking 😅. Though IMO that just means the author did a great job in creating well depth characters. Also keep in mind, I think a lot of readers don't fully understand what poly relationships yet, nor a mono-poly relationship. So as I said before we're still in the first book. Book one for me feels more like an introduction to the rest of the series, and I'm looking forward to learn more about the Night Market world because it's just so interesting and unique 😊.

I understand the place people are coming from when they send in their asks. I don't really mind, exactly. Some I delete just because they don't go anywhere or the answer has already been answered a billion times. But, I do get it. I knew what I was getting into when I set these dynamics up. But, I have always come from a place or 'you do not have to read this'. There are a bunch of stories out there that cater to the MC and I think that's great. Those are the stories the author wants to tell. Maybe it's because of my age in life or maybe it's because I read a variety of different types of literature, but I just don't have the same mindset. And that's fine too. It just simply means I will not be changing my mindset in how I write around to someone elses.

It is what it is. Misunderstandings and hurt feelings can happen. I just hope people understand that for as many people who do not like what I am putting out there, there are plenty of others that do. This is not a singular experience and no author should be expected to change what they are writing, due to an individual not being happy with the choices laid out in front of them. I am not a giant company that is getting paid millions to make a game. I am a mom of four, writing on my husband's days off, in an effort to just make the kind of story I would have liked to read.

#the night market #interactive fiction #good observations anon #answering your asks

[conchelle]

I completed all the routes of Yoru no Umi de Otsukisama wo Tsuru and man. I do have things to say about it.

To start things off, this game is a bit unique in terms of Towelket games. It actually plays more like a visual novel/dating sim with multiple paths to choose from and multiple endings based on those choices.

There's 11 characters to choose from and 4 endings in total (I think). All of the dialogue and scenarios for each of the characters are all unique, which just goes to show just how much effort was put into this game...but there are some issues that come up as a result of this which I'll talk about in a bit.

This game is kind of pseudo-remake/remaining of Towelket 4. It's a bit similar to how Warau Warawau is kind of a remake to Towelket 6, but unlike that game, Yoru no Umi still retains some aspects Towelket 4 such as locations and plot points though a lot of things have changed as well.

Since Towelket 4 was kind of like the only game in the numbered series that actually served as a sequel where you would have to play the other games to really get it, Yoru No Umi is very much its own thing. Though, for the most part, the parts in the game that are directly lifted from Towelket 4 just are just a bit confusing? It feels like certain plot points happen just because they happened into TK4 except without the context of why said plot point happened in the first place.

For example, early in TK4, Moochasu becomes a pirate after getting into trouble when he's led into Barrieland by Warawau. He stays a pirate for the rest of the game, and it makes sense why that happens.

However, in Yoru No Umi, the same thing happens, and it just kind of goes nowhere? Like Moochasu becomes a pirate for a brief moment and then goes back to how he was before offscreen with only a vague explanation you hear about a while later. It's a moment that has very little bearing on the plot aside from getting a certain character to stop talking for the rest of the game for...reasons. Anyone who went into this game without playing TK4 would be utterly confused on why that even happened in the first place.

Then there's Koucha's character in general, which I would go on a full-blown rant about if I had less restraint, so I'll get sum it up as, her significance in this game just makes less sense compared to TK4. It feels like her character is only as important as it is because she was the love interest in TK4 and nothing else.

On a more positive note, I do think the story this game is trying to tell is intriguing. I liked piecing together everything with each new piece of information granted in each ending. The villains are actually a lot more present this time around, which was a huge pain point in TK4 where Furi Kusukusu showed up out of nowhere towards the very end. This time around, she has a fair amount of screentime, and her motives actually make sense.

Though ironically, I kind of have the opposite problem with Yoru no Umi that I had with TK4. I really like the final act in this game, and I really wish the rest of the game was more like it.

The midpoint of TK4 was easily the highlight of the game for me. I really enjoyed the exploration aspect. Yoru no Umi's midpoint is kind of painful.

Now, this is half of my own fault since I decided to go through every single route like a maniac. I'm not sure if the game was intended to be played that way or if Kanao just wanted to give the player the option to pick their favorite character to pursue.

Regardless, all of the Barrieland residents have pretty straightforward routes and similar standard endings.

The first time around, I decided to go for Smile.dk's route because since she's a new character and it was pretty amusing.

All of the Barrieland routes are just that. Pretty amusing. The middle segment of this game is a bit less plot focused than the rest of the series. You're mostly just hanging around another character and going through their little gags and eventually helping them overcome some kind of problem. But unfortunately, I feel Kanao's character writing just isn't quite there for this format to really be interesting.

If Kanao were to make a game like this today, I would be 100% down for it since I think their character writing has improved significantly since this era. Like I remember when I was playing Yorumoru 2, and the whole time, I was thinking about just how cool it would be if there were some extra content that wasn't really integral to the plot. Like some small side-quests where you could go with a character of your choosing and get to know them a little more and solve some kind of conflict they're related to.

But the characters in this game just didn't really do it for me. I didn't hate them, but I can't say they're particularly memorable, either. It doesn't help that characters like Roppenchu, Nyanyamo, and Nekoashi Otome all have counterparts in Yorumoru 2 that are just a lot more interesting to me.

Characters like Warawau and Nekojita have a little depth to them, but their stories overlap pretty heavily, and unfortunately, you don't really get to spend much time with them compared to the other characters.

Overall, as much as I appreciate the effort, I don't see why there had to be this many routes in the first place. Again, it was probably my own fault for attempting to get through every single one but eh. (The game is 40 hours long for pete's sake)

Visually, I think this game looks really good! It has a distinct look to it, there's a couple of CGs that are really cute. The music was alright, mostly the typical Towelket MIDIs.

Overall, I liked the story the game was trying to tell, but after going through two routes, this game reaaaally starts to drag, which is unfortunate. I really enjoyed playing Warau, Warawau a couple of times despite it being a very linear game. Just getting to recontextualize everything after the ending was enough for it to be replayable. It really doesn't help that a lot of the things that happen in the midpoint of Yoru No Umi fails to have any real significance to the ending or even recontextualize it.

At the very least, I cant say that I didnt have fun the first few times around.

Also, this isn't really a criticism, but this game directly quotes Richard Chase, an actual real-life serial killer. For like. No reason. It's so jarrring

This is a game that references Smile.DK, the Swedish band that gave us classics like Butterfly and Richard Chase. An insane serial killer who actually existed 💀

Towelket is amazing

Anyway here's the Towel rating.

Warau Warawau > Yorumorukimiri = Dekapari > TK1 = TK2 > Nekoashi Otome > TK4 > Fury > Yoru no Umi de Otsukisama wo Tsuru > TK6 > TK3 > TK5

#towelket diary #not putting this under a read more go fuck yourself

[creacherkeeper]

happy sleepover saturday luka!!! all even numbers for the dnd asks go tf off bestie!!! (maxwell for character q's) :)))

omg thank u my boy

(dm)

2. What is your NPC creation like?

i mostly create npcs to fill a needed role in the story, decide on some basic traits that fits or contradicts that roll, and then they flesh themselves out from there. my npcs tend to get a mind of their own very quickly so i have to do very little work

4. What's your favorite part of DMing?

creating characters or lore or scenes to Target Players i just love knowing whats going to drive them insane and then doing that on purpose as much as possible

6. Plot or character focused?

as a dm, very plot focused tbh. but i like to, as much as i can, create my plot around the pcs and players. lost has become more character driven because of choices the players have made and scenes they want to run

8. Do you prefer world or character creation?

for lost, ive actually been enjoying both fairly equally? im usually such a character bitch but making the world FOR the players & pcs and coming up with lore that will be interesting to them and tailoring it all to a wild west setting has been really fun and interesting. and my players have already started making secondary characters to explore and flesh out the world more so i guess its working!!!

(player)

10. How do you come up with characters?

i am VERY mechanics driven when it comes to pcs. i usually come up with class/subclass/multiclass first, then as i build the sheet try to figure out what kind of person they are based on the mechanical choices im making. personality and backstory usually come from that, but sometimes i do start with a basic concept or theme. i knew erley was a cowboy paladin, bo was going to be a ranger at a national park, and maxwell was an adhd mad scientist. but for example i decided that my new short shot character solare is very [redacted] because he has a +20 in [redacted]

12. What's your favorite part of playing DND?

when the other players are all really invested in the story and each others characters. like yeah we made all this up and we care so much!!! fuck yes!!! love getting emo about our little guys

14. Do you like to player characters with family?

i do!!!! i did notice a trend in my main game pcs of Only Children With MessyTM Relationships With Their Parents and we simply. arent going to examine that <3

16. Do you have any archetypes you tend to play?

not really? ive played a freakish amount of pcs at this point so they tend to be all over the place. i do love a Sad Boi tho <3

18. Do you prep for sessions?

daydreaming :))))) but thats it

(for maxwell)

20. Is your character religious?

he is!!!! he's a follower of burnlow, the god of fire, lightning, creation, and destruction. he truly does believe himself to be gods specialist little boy <3 im still trying to decide how/why he became a cleric though, waiting for my dm to help me flesh that out :) (i also decided the erley curse CANNOT continue so i gave max a +13 to religion)

22. How do they feel about the rest of the party?

he hasn't met them yet! but i do imagine it's going to be like "hello i am your new annoying gay best friend and you are Stuck with me as i have imprinted on you like a baby duck". maxwell doesnt really. have boundaries. he might have to work on those <3

24. If they were the god of anything, what would they be the god of?

self-expression

26. What kind of music would they like?

tbh prob like heavy metal and screamo. he would love welcome to the jungle by guns n roses

28. What would they do if they were betrayed?

smash everything with his big hammer <3 bonk

30. What are their thoughts on justice? (highly specific now)

that bad people get whats coming to them and most people are bad people which is why the world is so fucked up and violent

32. If they were on GBBO, what kind of contestant would they be?

would burn literally everything he baked either on purpose bc he claims it tastes better that way or because he was talking to the hosts or other contestants and forgot to set a timer. he would be kicked out very early but would be a meme-ified fan favorite

34. What would their thoughts on the fall of Rome be?

that empires deserve to fall and things would be better if everyone just kept each other in check

#thank youuuuuuuuu #lost township #maxwell tag

[odoraful]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌

— you set up a surprise for xiao's birthday which feels, strangely, just like one of his dreams

content: xiao x gn!reader, inspired by his birthday letter, reader can be interpreted as the traveller or as a character on their own, reader and xiao are friends but there are some romantic undertones, soft/reflective xiao, bubbly reader, minor angst but mostly fluff/comfort word count: ~2k

Xiao never liked having his senses incapacitated. A deafening roar from a lawachurl that caused his ears to ring, or a crushing blow from a geovishap that made him loosen his grip on his spear. It left him defenceless, and gave more than enough time for an enemy to strike him. 

That was why when you asked him to ‘close your eyes’ and promised that ‘nothing bad would happen’, he was understandably a little sceptical. 

Arms folded tight against his chest, Xiao had his eyes wide open. “I won’t be able to see anything,” he frowned. 

You placed your hands on your hips and sighed. “That’s the whole point, Xiao. It’s meant to be a surprise.” 

 Xiao had received express permission from Zhongli to accompany you to Chenyu Vale for ‘immediate funeral parlour business.’ Only now did he realise that the smile on Zhongli’s face was far too wide and doting to just be relaying simple business affairs. 

His frown deepened, eyes sweeping around the surroundings. Following a short bamboo boat ride, you and him were now standing at the dock on the base of Teatree Slope. Even though the area was closeby to the village, monsters did not rest simply because it was a sunny afternoon. 

He could think of a thousand different ways he and you could be ambushed. A millisecond was all it took for an arrow or blade to pierce your flesh and he’d open his eyes to find you lying on the ground. This nightmarish thought made his skin crawl. He knew you were a capable fighter (he’d even seen you fend off creatures quadruple your size), but his mind and instinct were always at odds with each other. 

“Gaming and I already cleared this place out early this morning.” Your reassuring voice coaxed Xiao from his thought spiral. He focused on your face, lit up by the sun. The glow of your skin only added to your palpable excitement. 

“With his knowledge of the area plus my fighting skills,” you mockingly flexed your arms, “I can guarantee you it’s safe.” The corners of Xiao’s lips faintly twitched in amusement. 

Once you noticed this slight break in his demeanour, you jumped at your chance. 

“Please?” Clasping your hands, you stepped closer to him, not breaking eye contact. “It’ll only be for a minute or so!” 

He tried his best to hold his gaze on yours in defiance. It only lasted a few seconds, however, as he quickly darted his eyes away and down at the ground. He fought the urge to teleport to the opposite side of Liyue as his face grew warmer.  Archons, do you always have to look so enthusiastic about such small matters? Exhaling deeply, he relaxed his arms to his sides. 

“These mortal customs…” he mumbled under his breath. At last, he closed his eyes. “Alright. Lead me to wherever you choose.” 

Attuning his hearing to the light trickle of water from the river, Xiao inhaled the crisp air. He almost jumped when he felt fingers intertwine with his hand. You moved to his side, gently bumping your shoulder against his.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.” You said. Xiao could easily make out the giddiness in your voice. Your hand squeezed him to emphasise your point.  

His hand briefly stiffened, uncertain how to respond to your casual affection. The naturally stoic expression on his face thankfully did not reveal the millisecond of indecisive chaos that raced through his mind. He decided to reciprocate. Squeezing your hand in return, he hoped it somehow conveyed his trust in you. 

The weight of your hand in his felt all too comfortable as you guided him across the grassy hillside. As you promised, the walk was short and free of monsters. 

“We’re nearly there.” You assured, swinging his hand. 

Xiao hummed affirmatively. Briefly, he completely lost himself to your touch, almost in a trance. 

In his observations of humans during his patrols, he’d seen couples hold hands, never letting go of each other even when they would disagree on where to go or when bustling crowds would jostle them. How foolish, he once thought. Wouldn’t it be more convenient to simply walk side by side? Or even split up so each could each get their respective tasks done? Now, as he sensed the warmth of your hand that radiated through his glove, and every twitch of your fingers when you readjusted your grip, he understood. 

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to imagine himself as one of them too. Strolling down the paths leading to Liyue Harbour with you, quietly talking about anything that came to mind. A closeness that meant you’d never leave each other’s side. He indulged himself. These were just imaginations, after all. 

He heard the sound of your footsteps against grass, and felt a sudden emptiness in his hand. 

“I’m still here!” Those three words you whispered were an immediate relief for his worries. “I just needed to get in the right position!” You called out, your voice coming from a little further than before. 

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” 

Xiao’s eyes adjusted to the brightness as he opened them. His overexposed vision quickly corrected itself, revealing the surprise you had prepared for him.

Laid out on the grass and flowers was a white blanket, weighted down at the corners by cushions. The unopened picnic basket in the centre was neatly surrounded by a few plates which held food. Xiao recognised servings of almond tofu, buns and rice pudding.  A small clay teapot had faint wisps of steam coming from its spout, and was accompanied by two cups of matching colour. The picnic was perfectly situated just beside the river to have a clear view of Jademouth.

“Ta-da!” You exclaimed, gesturing towards the picnic. “Happy birthday, Xiao!”

His mouth was slightly agape. “Y-you prepared all this on your own?” He approached the spread before him. 

“Well, Xiangling helped with the buns and pudding,” you rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly before quickly adding, “but everything else was me.” 

He stood there stunned. 

For so long he viewed this day as insignificant. The same duty to perform, with the same people and places to protect as any other day of the year. Celebrations were unnecessary for a guardian who preferred to remain in the shadows. Liyue’s safety was his only priority, and nothing else. However, as you tugged on his hand to follow you to sit, and piled cushions around him to ensure his comfort, longing flared in his heart. If it was just with you then perhaps celebrating would not be so bad. 

“How’s the food?” You asked, taking the last bite of your rice bun.

“Good.” Xiao lifted a spoonful of silky tofu and fragrant syrup to his mouth. “You’re an accomplished chef.” 

“Not really.” You said, shaking your head. From the stories you had told him when you just sat down, he suspected you were reminiscing about your… bold attempts to follow Xiangling’s recipes. 

“The only dish I can make well is almond tofu.” You continued, chuckling to yourself. “I think I perfected it thanks to you.” 

He was glad for only the gentle sounds of nature that surrounded you, otherwise he would not have heard the lilting sound of your laugh that rang clear in his ears. 

The first time you made it for him, the scent of almond and osmanthus provoked a dizzying sense of nostalgia. Whilst Yanxiao’s version was textbook — perfectly balanced in flavour, and decorated precisely, Xiao preferred yours. You always made the syrup a little sweeter, and added your own touches. He was greeted with different coloured toppings of small spheres and cubes of jelly every time you served a plate. Though trivial, he quietly looked forward to how you were going to decorate the dish each time. 

The conversation lulled to a comfortable silence as he finished his last spoonful. He tried to savour the last bite — a taste so simple but pleasing to his palate. It reminded him of something. The sweetness must have loosened his tongue because before he could think, the words spilled out of him. 

“I have been having dreams recently where we sit together just like this.” 

Your eyes widened as you took a sip of warm tea. “Really? With me?” 

Uncrossing his legs, he stretched them out in front of him on the blanket and leaned back on his hands. 

“Yes, though they are not fantastical.” 

A breeze picked up, cooling his skin and tousling his hair. Gazing in the distance, the landscape before him looked like a painting hung in one of the rooms of Wangshu Inn. The jade monument in the distance shimmered in the sunlight. Even being here right now felt like a dream. 

“In each of them, we go on idle strolls or outings.”  

“Like having a picnic?” You remarked, playfully nudging his shoulder. Much to Xiao’s hopes, you remained there, your shoulder lightly touching his own. A small smile you were only privy to graced his lips as he nodded. 

“They are oddly comforting to me.” His voice grew wistful. “Although, I don’t know how worthy I am to have such sweet dreams.” 

Xiao curled his fingertips into the picnic blanket, nails digging into the fabric. He wanted to savour everything he could sense in this moment. The soft fabric of the blanket, the warmth of the sun against his face, the lingering scent of tea leaves in the air. For perhaps this would be as fleeting as those in his dreams.

“I couldn’t think of someone more deserving of them.” You responded. Placing a hand on his shoulder, you finally drew his attention, pulling him away from the unease bubbling within him. He turned to find your brows scrunched slightly, a determined look on your face. 

“You know, it’s okay for you to be selfish when it comes to joy.” You were always quick to defend Xiao, even from comments coming from himself. 

He couldn’t even recall the last time he had allowed himself leisure. If not for your insistence at wanting to take him on outings since your meeting, Xiao envisioned a dim future for himself. Confined to the Inn, too afraid to mingle with the people that he gazed upon from his balcony, filled with unanswered questions about mortal life. 

His gaze unconsciously trailed from your eyes to your lips. They were slightly reddened and glossy from whatever cosmetic you had applied.  As desperately as he wanted to be, he wasn’t quite ready for that kind of selfishness just yet. 

“That does not come as easy to me as it does for you.” He replied with a gruff, heart thundering in his chest.

“Well then, I guess that means I’m the perfect person to help you.” You grinned.

“And how would you help me?” He asked, a brow raised. 

You paused, resting a hand on your chin in thought. “To start, if you’d like, you can tell me what kinds of nice dreams you have so we can bring them into reality.” Head tilted towards Xiao, you regarded him for his reaction.

Xiao certainly could not hide his surprise. The offer sounded too good to be true. “Y-you would do that?” He spluttered out.

You fidgeted with your fingers. “If it means being able to spend more time with you, I’d gladly do it.” The subtleties of human interaction were often lost upon Xiao, but he swore there was a bashfulness in your tone as you spoke.

His expression softened. Shaking his head, Xiao wondered if he could ever fathom your kindness. “Your plans are always… unique.” 

With the comfort of your shoulder pressed against him, the worries he previously had slipped away for the moment. He peacefully focused on the drone of insects in the background and the occasional rippling of water from a swimming fish. His mind began to drift, considering whether a stroll on the harbour or an outing collecting crystalflies should be first on the agenda.

dear reader: thank you for making it to the end of my INCREDIBLY belated xiao birthday fic! :') it was a little hard for me to write this because nothing i wrote felt right, but i hope it turned out okay! his birthday letters are always so romantic, it fills my heart with such warmth seeing how his character has grown to become more soft and trusting TT the idea of xiao slowly allowing himself to enjoy the little joys of life just makes me </3

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #genshin fic #genshin impact xiao #genshin xiao #xiao fluff #xiao x reader #xiao x y/n #xiao x you #odorawrites

[confused-bat]

So I finally beat the final boss of Tears of the Kingdom last week and after starting a nuzlock (no it's not going well) and sitting with thoughts I think I can finally give a review.

Annoyingly its 10/10.

Oh hey there are spoilers!

TOTK had a lot to live up to being the follow up to a game that still changes the gaming landscape and did it do that? Yes. Did it do that well? No.

It was really annoying to play as someone with as many thousands of hours as I do in BOTW, a lot because of the little changes. Some to do with places changing or being absent that really (personally) got to me and also to more general gameplay changes. First of all the slight change of the button layout with the way you switch abilities being mapped to L instead of up on the d-pad which i was far more useful. I get why it changed but after getting so used to BOTW its jarring to suddenly change.

Additionally found myself getting bored. I never did with BOTW and not with any other zelda game I have played (I have 100%ed them all). I couldn't say why with any confidence but one reason could be the sheer amount of stuff and just how uninteresting the plot was (get back to that).

The deal with the sheer amount of stuff and why I think that is an issue is that I ended up really overwhelmed. I mentioned in a post from when the game first game out I stopped myself going into the depths after I decided to wander down and I got so overwhelmed I ended up in tears and stopped playing for a week. After I finished all the dungeons I got all the lightroots to help with that but I haven't gone back since. It's rare I get so overwhelmed but it really did put me off and this wasn't the last time it happened.

Back to the plot, it was lacking. The idea was there but the way it was shown was really annoying. One reason was nobody seemed to acknowledge the story as it progressed. I finished the dragons tear quest after only two dungeons and it really frustrated me that no one seemed to care that Zelda was a dragon. Nor was it mentioned. Which seems off as the dragons tear quest was a main quest that usually impacts the story and results, but it just didn't seem too.

Another massive issue is the fact that the dungeons did not cut it. Sure they felt more like traditional dungeons however they where very much till the 'find the terminals and activate it to fight the boss'. What I miss is making your way through a dungeon and finding an item of ability that allows you to explore the rest.

All that being said, Its still a fucking fantastic game.

When I wasn't bored I was running around and getting lost (I somehow lost all ability to navigate the map though i have completed BOTW 100% twice and played it dozens of times) and finding little crevasses to explore, most of which would grant me a reward or a grand view (I'm an artist leave me be). I also loved seeing Hyrule being brought back and just overall be brought back together. I also love the sky.

The sky was what I was most exited about and though there should be way more up there, running around and hopping from island to island was really magical. I felt really free and also the small amount of information we got about the Zonai couldn't have peaked me interest more.

The abilities are also far superior than the runes and really opened up a game based on freedom even more. Plus the return of bomb flowers made me light up way too much when i first saw them.

Though the story disappointed me as a whole i still preferred it, mostly because we where living through it and it felt so much more alive. In BOTW the world felt so lonely as the races just focused on themselves while in TOTK the world is alive and bright with life as new houses are being built and the races are taking the world back for themselves. Also seeing the far past with the sealing of Ganondorf and the whole sideplot with Rauru and Sonia had me gripped.

All of this being said I will replay it for the rest of myself (and BOTW) like we all do with Ocarina of Time. Its a fantastic game that shows the best of the video game world today. I have no idea where Zelda is going next and I'm not sure Nintendo does. I think I will take the 'annoyingly' out of my 10/10 if the DLC helps fix this (when there is DLC) but I can only hope.

#tears of the kingdom spoilers #tloz tears of the kingdom #the legend of zelda #zelda #zelda totk #totk spoilers #totk #botw2 #botw #loz botw #review

[beacon-lamp]

with hermitcraft season 7 slowly coming to an end, i figured it was time to consolidate all of the Informative Posts about hermitcraft that i and some of the other members of hermitblr have made over the last several months.

if you enjoy:

minecraft youtube content, but want to see more traditional vanilla minecraft gameplay like building and redstone

fun, lighthearted interactions between genuine friends including Elaborate pranks, collaborating on massive projects, light roleplay, proximity voice chat mod

weekly 20 - 40 minute long youtube videos and consistent upload schedules

chill grind stream weekends where CCs interact with chat and each other

an entire youtube channel dedicated to weekly 20-minute recap videos on what all the hermits have been up to so you don’t have to piece it together from the posts on your dash/timeline

insanely talented people who have been doing mcyt for nearly, if not more than, a decade and essentially built minecraft youtube from the ground up

give hermitcraft a try!  

you will find all of the information you will Ever Need below the cut.  it’s Very Long so view it on desktop.

and if you ever have any more questions, just shoot me an ask :)

what is hermitcraft?

the Basics: what, who, where, how

more details on the Basics

bonus: the historical impact many hermitcraft members have had on mcyt

where do i even start watching?

start with grian.

good mix of Incredible builds and fun server shenanigans.  instigator of many server-wide events.  interacts with many other hermits.  generally entertaining to watch.  but zero redstone knowledge.

check out hermitcraft recap.

great way to be introduced to other hermits and learn what everyone’s up to.  if you find what a hermit’s been working on interesting, go watch their video and maybe give them a like and subscribe.

official hermitcraft website with links to every member’s channel

more information on every hermit’s attributes and general vibes

do hermits every stream?

short answer: yes, most do!  but these streams are mostly chill grinding or buildling streams.  and you don’t have to watch the streams to be caught up on content.  check the official hermitcraft website for each member’s twitch links.

long answer that covers most of the hermits

what do they do on hermitcraft?

let’s start with some examples of their incredible builds.

hermit cribs: some of the megabases in s7

goodtimeswithscar’s s7 magical village with shaders

stressmonster’s bakery and ren’s star wars world

Capitalism

they have a shopping district where hermits can set up shops and sell items and resources that other hermits can buy with diamonds.  here’s season 7 shopping district set on a mooshroom island:

some of the most advanced redstone you’ve ever seen

if you’re more into the technical side of minecraft, you can be rest assured that hermitcraft has some of the Biggest Brains in redstone.

tangotek: a fucking madlad.  Singled-handedly created the minigame Decked Out.  im Begging you to watch his tutorial video on how to play.  currently finishing up his Among Us but in minecraft minigame. all of this was built Entirely in survival vanilla minecraft.  get this man to 1M subscribers.

mumbo jumbo: the man himself.  built a 128 x 128 block industrial district in both season 6 and 7 packed to the Brim with mechanical farms.  half the brain behind the masterpiece of engineering that was Sahara in season 6.  currently working on Pacific, the sequel to Sahara, in season 7.

iskall85: the other half of the brain behind Sahara and working on Pacific with mumbo in season 7.  also has an industrial district like mumbo’s in season 7.

xisuma: built an automatic potion brewer in the second half of season 7.  this thing churns out potions by the Shulker Box.  can also turn a shulker box full of potions into splash potions and extend duration all with a press of a button.

impulseSV: incredible example of form + function.  farms are scattered throughout his base.  he has a farm for nearly every farmable resource in vanilla minecraft.

etho: the pioneer of some of the most widely used redstone mechanisms to date.  content isn’t super redstone-focused.  mostly does compact modules that serve a specific function.

zedaph: makes strange contraptions.  he’s basically if grian knew how to redstone.  impeccable vibes and fairly underrated.

bdoubleo100: he occassionally does this segment called “redstone with bdubs” and it’s the only redstone i understand so that’s why he’s here.

what about roleplay?  and lore?  

yeah they have Plenty of that too.  

it generally comes in the form of self-contained storylines that involve most members on the server and take place over the course of several weeks in multiple videos.  it’s fairly light roleplay, if that’s not your thing.  but the plotlines also have a Massive Potential to be angsty and whatnot if you really look into it, which a lot of people also do.

here’s a more in-depth look into the Major Plotlines over the last 2 seasons (season 6 and 7).  huge spoiler warning though.

um also there’s this post that highlights how truly cursed hermitcraft can be if you dig deep enough hahaha.

so do the hermits only make hermitcraft content?

nope!!  many of them are involved in other mcyt content as well and are friends with other prominent members of the mcyt community!!  

MCC

mcc9 blue bats video essay: the time the hermit team won the whole damn competition.  a wonderfully made video worth Every second of your time.  especially if you don’t typically watch the hermit teams.

falsesymmetry: mcc10 ace and mcc’s First Back-to-Back Winner

lord grian dreamslayer: that time grian Popped Off, killing dream, tubbo, and fundy in mcc9 survival games

Vault Hunters

a modded minecraft server coded entirely by iskall85′s team.  all the content is streamed live on twitch.  

current members are: Iskall85, AntonioAsh, Stressmonster101, HBomb94, CaptainSparklez, Fundy, CaptainPuffy, 5UP and Tubbo

more info on the series 

3rd Life SMP

hardcore minecraft server with a twist that started on 4/20/21.  all content is posted to each member’s respective youtube channels.

every member has 3 lives, as indicated by the color of their name: green for 3 lives left, yellow for 2, red for 1.  if they lose all three lives, they can only spectate the world (like in hardcore mode).  the series ends when all members have lost all three lives.

the twist: once a member is on their 3rd and final life, as indicated by a red name, they are Hostile and their goal is to take the lives of the remaining players.

the members (hermits are italicized): BdoubleO100, bigbst4tz2, Etho, GoodTimesWithScar, Grian, impulseSV, InTheLittleWood, Renthedog, Skizzleman, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans, SolidarityGaming, Tango, ZombieCleo

the tumblr tag for 3rd Life is “#3rdLife”, “#3rdLifeSMP” and “#3LSMP” if you wanna see more content, as it’s Not supposed to be cross-tagged with “#hermitcraft”.

do you have any free serotonin to spare?

here’s a bunch of posts that’ll make you smile

scar’s friendship with a bunch of the hermits

grian, false, cleo, bdubs, iskall: why they deserve so much respect

same post as above but with an addition about ren

small hermit things that give you serotonin

why you should watch tfc

if you’ve made it this far you are Contractually Obligated* to watch one (1) hermitcraft episode and reblog this post.

*for legal reason, this is a joke.  you’re not contractually obligated but consider this: Please. i spent way too much time on this.

shoutout to everyone who’s posts i’ve linked and anyone who has helped answer a question about hermitcraft.  this all started because i was frustrated that people were writing the hermits off as cannon fodder in mcc and im genuinely so glad that many of you have given hermitcraft a shot.

#mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitblr #grian #goodtimeswithscar #iskall85 #mumbo jumbo #xisuma #bdoublo100 #ethoslab #impulseSV #tangotek #zedaph #docm77 #zombiecleo #falsesymmetry #keralis #keralis1 #xBCrafted #gtwscar #xisumavoid #cubfan135 #beacon hermitcraft #please guys i spent like 3 hours on this LOL #we love the sunk cost fallacy at work #i've definitely forgotten hermits to tag rip it's fine #for those who have been keeping track #welcome to Phase 3: we're getting Organized

[fedzkun]

Villain Hunt Arc Meta: All For One’s Horrific Guide to Methodically Breaking Down Your Local OFA Holder

Ft. Turning the ‘Overpoweredness’ of OFA into a Setback, and AFO’s Successful Manipulations Of Midoriya Izuku

In which I also give AFO too much credit for all the pain he’s probably caused, and theorize that his plans to break Izuku actually started getting enacted even before he’d escaped Tartarus.

(A.k.a. me loving the angst because this is really good angst writing, but also hating it because the manga doesn’t come with a Angst with A Happy Ending tag unless you count Izuku’s ‘this is the story of how I became the greatest hero’ which isn’t really a guarantee of happiness )

So. What an arc! In the span of ten chapters (starting from the end of the War arc) Hori delivered a full-on Villain-looking, Vigilante Midoriya Izuku. Congratulations, Horikoshi, for finally introducing Akatani Mikumo!

The fast pacing and lack of breather panels are so fitting for this arc truly. AFO never gave them a moment’s rest. Yes, from henceforth as he’d promised... It’s always going to be his turn.

Izuku is making amazing progress with unlocking the full power of One For All. In his words, his abilities might as well already be on par with what a healthier All Might could do, and with no recoil to boot. Plus, there’s only one last quirk to unlock. For villain fights, I don’t think we need to worry about him losing, or him breaking anymore bones at this time.

Which, some might argue, makes Izuku too ‘OP.’

To start with, I want to talk first about the ‘overpoweredness’ of the One For All quirk. It’s a wonderful quirk truly, having inspired and amazed so many because of its sheer power. Used well, it could grant instant victories and restore the people’s wavering faith to the heroes. Because with a quirk like that on your side, everything’s going to be alright, right? There’s always gonna be that bit of hope that something is still strong enough to stand against the looming evil...right?

Yeah. That’s what the people who’d lived under All Might’s Era of Peace thought so too. History repeats.

OFA’s ‘OP-ness’ is both a great blessing and a great burden.

Here are some points on how the narrative has made OFA's 'overpoweredness' a setback:

1. All For One—that bastard—exploits the urge that comes with OFA. Just as ‘AFO the quirk’s’ goal is to steal OFA, OFA’s job is to defeat AFO, and Izuku is sacrificing himself to its cause.

Here’s another thing I want to point out: The conclusion that the heroes drew about AFO planning to capture Midoriya Izuku alive? In rereading, I’m starting to believe it’s nothing but a mere assumption of his plans. Aside from the deal made with Lady Nagant—of which I think AFO didn’t take seriously anyway and set her up for failure— (and while we as readers are already aware of his true intentions to wear Izuku down) it’s weird that nowhere had AFO directly mentioned to Izuku that he’s going to kidnap him and take his quirk from him.

2. OFA made Izuku so brilliant (e.g. Pros and former Pros alike going “This kid...”) that they really can't help but place all their hopes on him. Sighs. In an ideal world, this would be a dream come true of Izuku getting his due credit for all his heroic achievements Pro heroes have started to do to Izuku what they’ve done all their lives to All Might--which is to put him on the pedestal, while they fall back to cover him like guards/safety net. Hence, falling back to the One Pillar Model mindset.

3. OFA makes Izuku untouchable, not only to the villains, but also to his allies. Prime material to reinforce isolation. And if Izuku doesn't want to be caught, he won't make it easy for either side.

4. OFA IS SUS AF, OKAY? What are the Holders doing?! While gaining access to them makes it easier and convenient to have personal trainers in handling OFA, the vestiges prove to add a lot to Izuku’s mental load. If they’d allowed Izuku to come to the point of being caked with blood and filth, they’re not doing very well at guiding him. Realize that most of their arc interactions with Izuku is Quirk Talk. They, of all people, should know how AFO’s machinations work! Hey First, for the love of god, warn Izuku! He’s showing so many signs of being manipulated that you should be picking up on. please /sobs ;;

Tbf, like, I’m pretty sure that the Holders haven’t been as mentally okay either, which would feed into Izuku’s current mindset.

Now that the setbacks have been listed, let’s dive in to AFO’s plans to toy with Midoriya Izuku.

PHASE 1: Pre-Tartarus Breakout

Speaking of OFA being sus, there’s something that has been niggling at the back of my mind.

All For One basically tells Izuku: “You were my main interest that entire time I was in prison”. So, to pass the time in Tartarus (since he can’t use any(?) of his quirks), AFO has been doing nothing but apparently daydreaming and designing a personal hell for the Ninth Holder during that entire period. HOWEVER, it also made me wonder…

…Even before he’d broken out, had AFO made any moves at all in enacting his plans to break Izuku?

Yeah?

And here’s the kicker: he says that before Blackwhip bursted out.

AFO is a master manipulator. Assuming that Izuku doesn’t have any latent AFO quirk (for whatever reason *coughs* maybe dfo if you're a believer) or that Quirk Singularity has anything to do with it, what is the trigger to Izuku suddenly having access to Blackwhip?

I’d argue that it is All For One himself.

Why? What’s his goal? If you notice during the Joint Training arc, Izuku is feeling pretty confident about his progress. He’s rather happy and feeling blessed, and he is making leaps and bounds with base power OFA.

AFO can’t have that. He can’t allow the Ninth Holder to become too emotionally stable, or else he’d have a stronger will. So by somehow activating Blackwhip, AFO makes Izuku feel like he hasn’t made any progress with his quirk at all. During the evaluations, Izuku mentions that he still needs a lot to work on, and while not all of it is visible, with the way he behaves, it’s pretty evident that his self-confidence has taken a rather large hit.

But, wait! If AFO had tampered with OFA during the JT arc, paving the way to unlocking the rest (like he’d also done during the War arc when he tried to ‘steal’ it then), then wouldn’t AFO be sabotaging himself since he’d be making Izuku a more formidable opponent?

Sure. Except that the quirks inside OFA are mostly useless when it comes to the mental part of the fighting. The only thing they’re useful for is for the current Holder to be able to play keep-away in the physical realm. And AFO could easily just find counters for those through his work on Tomura.

You know how else the situation becomes advantageous for AFO? With every quirk unlocked, Izuku’s goalposts keep on getting away from him, and Izuku will always feel like he isn’t ready or prepared enough. Izuku will push and push himself to master OFA to its fullest, to become more powerful, at the cost of his mental/emotional stability and physical wellbeing as he wears himself down.

And every time Izuku grew more powerful, and became more ‘OP,’ he is burdened with all the aforementioned setbacks that came with it. He could be the most powerful person in the world, but it’s all for naught if he doesn’t take care of himself. This plan is both a high risk and high reward on AFO’s part, and as of the moment, with a bloody Izuku staggering all over, AFO is visibly reaping these high rewards.

PHASE 2: Post-Tartarus Breakout

He’s going to toy with Izuku until Izuku fucking breaks. What follows is his series of actions that instills the desired responses from Midoriya Izuku. Let’s see how the master manipulator plays this game of chess, shall we?

Izuku’s plan: Reach out to villains and try to save them.

AFO’s counter: Kill off those who turn their back against villainy and/or acknowledge Izuku as a true hero.

Izuku’s resulting response: Stop reaching out to villains. Gain an instant victory and move on.

After all, what do you get when you block a hero from showing sympathy? You get an unfeeling living weapon.

---

Izuku’s plan: Work with the top pro heroes to bring down AFO.

AFO’s counter: Make plans that will serve to highlight how the top pros are just slowing Izuku down. (e.g. Making moves while it’s raining, so as to divide them, but also to bring out No. 1 Hero Endeavor’s "slowness" in the rain. Nope, I don’t think that’s a throwaway line at all.)

Izuku’s resulting response: Grows more reckless, often leading the charge.

---

Izuku’s plan: Track AFO down.

AFO’s counter: Lead them to dead-ends. Or when they do supposedly reach something, endanger them.

Izuku’s resulting response: His tunnel vision worsens, as he grows more desperate.

---

Izuku’s plan: All Might following him around is okay since it would help All Might from worrying so much, and Izuku could simultaneously keep an eye on and protect All Might.

AFO’s counters: There are a lot to really fuck with this bond, damn you AFO.

Taint that passing the torch memory of ‘You’re Next.’

Declare that All Might no longer interests him. Liar. He outright stated before that he’s one for keeping a grudge

Send another assassin to Izuku [Underlying Message: You yourself are a walking danger zone to those whom you dearly care for.]

Izuku’s resulting response:

Interpret that memory of ‘You’re Next’ as taking up the position of being AFO’s shiny new plaything, and therefore supposedly sparing All Might from the torment (Unfortunately, making Izuku push AM away is just part of the torment ;A;)

Think that AM is no longer in the direct line of fire as long as AFO focuses on Izuku

Finally, push his last line of morale support away, and completely isolate himself.

Btw, I wonder how All Might feels about Izuku using Nana's quirk to get away from him.

---

The suffering doesn’t end.

Izuku’s plan: Save people.

AFO’s counters: (possibly offscreen) Send more villains and assassins to torment Izuku some more with the knowledge that he can’t save them. Sending villains out also puts innocents in danger.

Izuku’s resulting response: He won’t stop for anything. He won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t slow down. He will always do his best to save as long as someone is in danger.

His body will keep on moving and moving and MOVING on its own.

--- All For One is very effective as a supervillain. He has managed to make the heroes think that his only goal is to capture Izuku alive for his quirk. He has Izuku right where he wants him: dancing to his tune at the palm of his hand, utterly toyed with, left with no escape in sight.

Psychologically vaulted.

.

.

.

PHASE 3

And so, if Izuku is being manipulated to drive himself further and further into self-destruction, what then is there left for All For One to do?

So much more. Because, my god, I think AFO has mastered the art of traumatizing the OFA Holders.

All For One once told All Might, “I will destroy all that you’ve protected.” And boy, is he delivering. He's definitely not done with AM btw.

First, he destroys All Might's image. And he is manipulating Izuku to drive himself to that point. To looking into his absolute worst.

And when that point arrives, AFO will hammer the final nail home.

Something like...

BEHOLD

JAPAN’S SYMBOL OF PEACE.

And oh, how it'll hurt. To see All Might's pride and joy be flaunted about as looking nothing like a hero to the masses, for him to be so utterly humiliated.

"See what I did to All Might's successor."

AFO will be banking upon the possibility that the angry masses will not want to be saved by whom they're tricked into viewing as someone that's the cause of all the pain. Izuku might have the willpower to stay true to his resolve, but with him on the verge of total breakdown, what would happen when he is shunned by the very people he is trying to help?

I once wrote a post about how the current events seem to be a bastardization of Izuku's wildest fantasies: he's working with the top pros, he has the most powerful quirk, and he's working with All Might (whom technically acts as a sidekick to him rn).

AFO has warped all that into a never-ending nightmare. And Izuku...

Izuku is really in need of saving.

Last thoughts:

Let me just say that it shouldn't be a competition about who gets to get through to Izuku. Right now, he’s gonna need all the help he can get, and it can’t be delivered by only one or two people. Saving Izuku is going to be a team effort, a solid support system that sees Izuku as their classmate/friend/student/actual person that they care about. And there’s sufficient space for that.

More hands reaching out means more chances to catch him if he falls.

#bnha #bnha 317 #bnha manga #bnha analysis #bnha meta #all for one #afo #midoriya izuku #all might #toshinori yagi

[the-devils-girl94]

A Heated Nightly Gaming Session

Prompt: Popsicle Licking

Characters: Leviathan x Fem! MC

Content Warnings: A slightly Dom!MC, blowjobs, teasing Levi

A Fic for @voltage-vixen 's Summer of Smut Challenge! Enjoy!

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Knock, knock.

Your knuckles tapped against a large door and you heard a voice call out,

"Who is it?

"Levi, it's me, (Y/N). I'm here for our nightly gaming sesh," you answered. You held up a bag of snacks and treats. "I brought some snacks. Hope you don't mind that some of them are popsicles."

You heard the mechanics of the locks switching. And the tall door swung open to reveal a tank top wearing Levi, who blushed when he saw that you were also wearing a tank top and shorts. He averted his eyes from wandering to your chest.

"Th-thanks! I don't mind, (Y/N). I think it's more of a life saver since the heat has been so crazy," he stammered.

You noticed a bit of sweat on him, but it looked mostly dried. So you thought to yourself that he probably had some fans going full blast in his room. 'A life saver, indeed,' you thought as you smiled, handing him the bag to rummage through. The Avatar of Envy beamed when he saw the popsicles and saw that some were of his favorite flavors. He stepped to the side and saluted you for these offerings. You chuckled at his antics as you passed him and Levi followed suit, letting the door close behind him.

Your assumption of him having fans was correct. However, you didn't expect to see a huge fort assembled out of blankets and 4-5 fans surrounding said fort blowing into the entrance. The inside had lots of pillows strewn about and floor lights tucked on each side to keep the blanket from blowing away. It looked cozy and cool. But you had to tease him about it because why not?

"Wow, Levi. You're really going all out, huh?," you swirled around to face him with a smirk on your face. "You sure this isn't a date?"

The poor soul stopped in his tracks and his face erupted into a deep shade of red. His voice became slightly high-pitched as started to stumble and tumble over his words, trying to explain that it wasn't like that. "H-h-hold on, (Y/N)! It's not like that at all! You know its hot and I can't stand the heat! I just wanted to build a fort so I could utilize the best way to cool down and I-," he talked fast, so fast that his words were almost blending together.

You could see his mind swirling like a hypnotizing illusion as he explained away and you just had to stop him before you got thrown into the whirlwind too. Placing your hand on his forearm, Levi shut himself up. "Levi," you spoke softly, "you know I was just teasing, right?"

"Huh!? Oh, yeah, but still- I mean, that was mean of you, but you know," he scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks tainted pink. He avoided your eyes as he told you, "It could be a date if you want it to be."

You smiled and took his hand, startling him. You dragged his butt into the fort and sat him down next to you. "Then it shall be a date, O' Lord of the Shadows," you declared in your most impressive Medieval voice.

Leviathan's eyes startled sparkling and he nodded his head at you. "Th-thank you, Henry!"

_____________________________________

"Ooh, he's on the attack, Levi! Get him!"

"Crap, I see him but I can't get to him yet! I need to take out this guy first!"

You watched with bated breath as Levi tried his best to survive an ambush in a new game he bought. Luckily for you, it wasn't a game you could get sucked into, but it was certainly entertaining to watch the Avatar of Envy play. So far, Levi had managed to take out a bunch of enemies, but the one he was currently struggling with was so powerful. It gave the chance for a few of the enemies who were still standing to gain the upper hand by trying a sneak attack.

You whined as you worried about whether this would be a victory or a loss. But, unbeknownst to you, Levi had a trick up his non-existent sleeve. You gasped when all of a sudden the most powerful enemy ended up falling when Levi pulled a combo move and cheered when the victory image popped up. Leviathan whooped as you cheered and the both of you cheer a high five.

"That was amazing, Levi!," you praised, clapping your hands together. His cheeks turned a light pink, but he grinned at you. "It was no problem," he said. "These games are no match for an otaku such as myself."

You chuckled and reached for the bag of treats you bought earlier. Lots of the contents of the bag were eaten except for the popsicles, which you noticed were starting to melt a bit. You grabbed two that were more solid than the rest and handed one to Leviathan. "Here. I think this one is your favorite," you said, placing the cold trear in his hand. "We should eat these up before they melt. The others certainly did."

"Ah, ok. Thanks, (Y/N). I kinda want to take a break from gaming right now."

Unwrapping your popsicle, you asked, "Then do you want to put on an anime instead?"

To that, Levi shook his head. "Actually...I was wondering if you wanted to cuddle. It is supposed to be a...a date, right?"

Your eyes widen at him. You were almost shocked that he even managed to say the word 'cuddle' without stuttering. You found yourself another perfect opportunity to tease him, so you sent a gentle smile his way and nodded. You popped your popsicle into your mouth and crawled towards Leviathan. He jumped slightly when you placed yourself right on his lap, making it hard for the poor demon to focus his gaze on anywhere else besides your bosom and making him drop his popsicle. You smirked inwardly because you knew he had to stare at either your chest or your eyes. And he could never stare into your eyes for long without feeling like his face was about to explode.

"So how do you want to cuddle, Levi?," you slowly took out your popsicle, making sure that your slurping was pretty obvious. You licked your lips and Leviathan's eyes followed. "Is it okay if we cuddle in this position or do you want me to be the little spoon?"

The purple haired demon gulped. Your sex appeal was over 9000! He knew you were teasing him and it was working. He thought it was a bit unfair how his lust for you was building up just by a few actions by you. He sighed, his ears hot and reddened, and you felt strong arms wrap around your middle, catching you by surprise. Your popsicle dropped when he buried his face into your chest and it was your turn to be flustered.

"H-hey, Levi! So you do want to cuddle like this, huh?," you still tried to tease but you were stammering. Levi's grip on you tighten and you soon felt something poking you in your nether regions. 'O-oh. Oh!,' you thought.

"I went too far in teasing you again, didn't I?," you brought your hand to ruffle his hair. The Avatar of Envy whined which vibrated through your chest, making you giggle. "Sorry, sorry, you big baby," you apologized, laughing softly.

"You know that's unfair, (Y/N). You can't keep teasing me like this."

"Then do you want to help you?," you replied, showing him that you were willing by grinding down on him. Levi stifled sucked in a sharp breath. He looked up into your eyes, lust swirling, which you met. "Might wanna answer. You feel as if you're rock hard, Levi," you grinded down again but more slowly.

"Fuck, (Y/N)," groaned Levi who decided fuck it and smashed his lips against yours. You gasped at the sudden action, your lips parting open enough for Leviathan's tongue to slip in. His tongue was forked like a serpent's and it started to explore and taste every part of the inside your mouth. You moaned into the kiss, feeling the heat building up in your core. It didn't help much that Leviathan was bucking his hips, rubbing his cock against your clothed sex. You deepened the kiss, tongues swirling and dancing as the two of you dry humped each other.

Levi could taste the flavor of that popsicle you had earlier and couldn't help but think of how delicious it tasted. He wanted to go to the next step, feeling the need to be inside you. His cock throbbed with the urge to feel you surrounding his cock. His grip on you started to lessen and you could feel his hands drop down to your hips right above your shorts. He started to tug on them, so you broke the kiss to grab his hands, panting softly. "Do you want to take these off me?," you asked. Though you would've chucked them even if he didn't want to.

Levi nodded, too focused on wanting to fuck you to say anything. You stood and put your hands on his shoulders for balance, feeling his fingers go under the fabric. Your shorts slid off with ease but he didn't remove your panties. Instead he pulled you back into his lap, leaving them on. Of course you caught on and smirked at him. You opted to say nothing this time to not embarrass him, but you did push him so that he fell backwards.

"(Y-Y/N)!," he started, but you shushed him with a finger. You grabbed the hem of his sweatpants and he watched as you pulled them back. His cock sprang forward, a string of precum leaking from the tip. It looked absolutely delicious to you.

Wrapping your hand around the base, you set a firm grip on it, causing Levi to wince. Not from the pain but from the pleasure of physical contact. It felt so solid and hard in your hand and you leaned down to flick the tip with your tongue.

"Aah, shit!," groaned Levi. His hands had flown to cover his face since he didn't want to put them on your head. You gave his cock another lick before sliding the tip into your mouth. The Avatar of Envy bucked his hips but he didn't get much farther that you would allow. You swirled your tongue around the head of Levi's cock before you started to bob your head. Every time you went down, you would take more of his cock into your mouth until your nose was buried into a purple patch of pubes. Your sex pulsated and dripped with need everytime his dick hit the back of your throat. All the while, all Levi could chant was your name over and over.

You soon released him when you saw that you had completely covered his dick in your saliva. Crawling back on top of him, you removed your tank top, letting your breast feel the cool air surrounding you two. "You can remove your hands from your face, Levi. I want you to see me," you gently moved his hands away, only to see a completely flustered Leviathan. His eyes were half lidded and lust filled, his face redder than a tomato. Drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth and onto the pillow beneath his head.

"Oh my," you smirked. "You look like you're experiencing true bliss right now, Levi. Are you aching to cum right now?"

You lowered your body so that your breasts were squished against his chest. You caressed his face before kissing him, which he eagerly returned. You both started to sit up, your arms wrapped his neck and legs around his waist, and his hands found their way back to your hips once more. He broke the kiss to put his head on your shoulder and went to move your panties to the side. You could feel him trembling, hurrying with his movements to finally get inside you.

You whined low in your throat when you felt his cock pushing against your opening. You hugged him tightly and squealed when he pushed past your opening and every inch of him slid inside you. "Fuck, fuck, Levi," you groaned and heavily panted. He kissed your cheek as a way to apologize and waited a moment to move for you to adjust to his size.

Once the moment had passed, you immediately knew that you weren't heading back to your room anytime soon. At first, he started at a slow pace but they got faster and faster until your mewls turned to moans and your moans turned to you chanting his name over and over. The sound of skin slapping and the squelching sound of your pussy taking in his cock in every thrust fills the room.

Leviathan's grip on your hips tightened and you found yourself on your back being pounded away at. His balls slapping against your ass.

"(Y/N)~, you feel so good! So fucking tight, so fucking wet," moaned Levi. Your pussy clenched at every thrust he gave you, making you scream/moan to the point you couldn't reply back with how good he was making you feel. His thrusts were becoming erratic and that was a sign for you that he was about to cum. "L-Levi, I want you to cum in-," you got cut off by him sealing your lips with a kiss as he gave one final thrust, spilling his seed deep inside of you. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you as he came.

You kept your legs wrapped around him as you two continued to make out until you both needed air. You both broke away, a trail of saliva connecting the two of you before breaking, panting heavily. There was a moment of silence between you two as you had to catch your breath. Levi was drenched heavily in sweat which was dripping a bit on you. A hand touched your cheek and a kiss was planted on your forehead by the Avatar of Envy. You gave him a sweet smile and broke the silence, saying, "I think I would love our nightly gaming dates more if we did this often."

Leviathan blushed at your statement and replied, "Y-yeah, me too. Let's get you cleaned up."

He tried to move so that he could get up, but your legs locked him in place. He felt hands going up his tank top, feeling over his stomach up to his chest. He gasped when your legs made him thrust up into your pussy. He looked down at you, lust darkening his eyes once more when he heard you whine his name.

"Levi~, make me cum first."

((This is the longest fic I have ever written, bruh. My brain hurts from braining but this was the home stretch. I hope you guys like it. It's the first of many even if I don't make it to the 20th to get done with the prompts that I have, but I will still post them since I know it will haunt me.))

#lexi writes #obey me! #summer of smut #obey me leviathan #leviathan #leviathan x mc #obey me character x mc #obey me smut #enjoy this smutty post

[s-brant]

Angels Roll Their Eyes (2/2)

(gif: @toesure) (PART ONE)

Summary: Hurricane Agatha approaches Kildare Island during the aftermath of the eventful Fourth of July party. JJ and Y/N are determined to continue avoiding each other after what happened at the party, but John B has other plans for them.

Warnings: Smut, strong language, angst, implied physical abuse, depictions of anxiety/panic attacks, and sickeningly sweet fluff.

Word Count: 24k

A/N: Here we goooo! To celebrate the trailer dropping today, here’s part two to Devils Roll The Dice. If you haven’t read the first part, I suggest you read it and come back so this makes sense. This one has all the drama and spice, so buckle up! Thank you for the love and support on the first part. Let me know if you enjoyed this and have fun, cause I had a blast writing it.

Hurricane Agatha.

It was the first thing she heard about as soon as she woke up yesterday to the sound of her phone blaring with an obnoxious tone that reminds her of waking up too early in the morning for work or school.

Her sleepy eyes couldn't make out who was calling, so she pressed the button to answer and lifted the phone to hear her mom's voice squawking through the speaker at her about the hurricane projected to hit the island in the middle of the night tonight.

The problem is, her parents are out of town this week, leaving her all alone to prep the house and endure the storm alone. And for someone who flinches whenever she thinks she hears the sound of thunder in the sky, that is the worst it can get.

It's a fear her friends are conscious of. One time when they were out on the HMS Pogue, a quick summer storm started to drift overhead and it took all of her self control to not fall into a blind panic when thunder began to rumble above. John B was already steering them back in the direction of the Chateau but she knew it would do nothing to calm her nerves until she was back inside of the house.

The anxiety was starting to become too overwhelming when JJ sat down beside her and threw his arm over her shoulder. It was their first month of knowing one another, so the casual friendly gesture made her jump at first and turn her head to look at him, but he acted like everything was normal.

The next person to notice was John B. With JJ currently out of commission, the only person she thought to call to help her prep the house for the incoming storm was him. Since they never got hurricanes up where she used to live her whole life, she needed someone who's been through a couple to help her while her parents weren't home.

That's how she ended up here. Sweating bullets in the front yard of her house as she unloads the contents of the van with John B was not how she envisioned her Saturday night to go, but she's glad she has someone who's willing to help.

In the past five months of being with the Pogues, she's learned that it's lovely to have friends. She never used to have any before she moved, so in situations like this or when she got so drunk at the party, she never would've had anyone to be there for her. It's quiet moments of kindness and companionship like this that make her realize how much better life has been on the other side of uprooting everything to move here—self-inflicted boy drama and all.

The sandbag on her shoulder sends a growing ache through her back muscles with every step she takes to follow him up the length of unpaved dirt path up to her front door. As usual, he makes it look way easier than it is, and it almost makes her want to laugh at how different they are.

Most of her new friends are effortless, naturally picking up anything they decide to try at while she is inept by comparison. It's part of what attracted her to JJ in the first place. He may have his insecurities the same way every other individual does, but in her eyes, he has nothing to be insecure of. Even when he wipes out on a wave and appears out of the water with sand clumped in his salt-kissed strands of blonde hair, he manages to make it look cool.

"What are you smiling about?"

John B's laughter makes her look up from where she concentrated on the dirt path to see him looking back at her. He stands at the entrance to her house with the rest of the sandbags they carried up placed meticulously in front of the door to prevent water from entering the house. They did the same thing with the back door an hour ago.

Is she smiling? She hadn't even realized her expression changed from one of exhaustion and fear at the dark clouds closing in above to a grin, so her face instantly drops in guilt. After running out on JJ for the second time two days ago to go to work, any mention of him from their friends has left her drowning in shame.

She can't recall the bulk of her memories from the night of the Fourth of July party, but she fills in the gaps between those flashes of memory with what their friends told her about it.

Thanks to her overindulgence, there are holes poked in the fabric of her memory.

It jumps from her last fully sober moment of seeing JJ across the room with the kook girl to dancing clumsily with Kie to the floral scent of her makeup wipes that she can't attach a specific visual image to.

Then, she can remember waking up with a start in the middle of the night to throw up in a pot beside the bed while he held back her hair. Before John B explained it, she was quite confused after waking up about how she somehow got from being jealous over JJ flirting with another girl to waking up in the same bed as him.

She grunts as she plops the last sandbag down into place and decides to take a seat on the steps leading up to the door.

"It wasn't anything special," Y/N says and watches him come down to sit next to her, "I was just thinking about taking something so I can pass out and avoid having a panic attack over this stupid storm."

Unlike JJ, she isn't that skilled of a liar. It's obvious to anyone who knows her well when she does it based on the way her eye contact begins to drift away and her voice raises in pitch when she speaks. She's too honest with her friends to handle keeping secrets from them, which is why it's been so difficult for her with everything that has happened recently. Not only does she lie to the Pogues, she also avoids them by association in the process of trying to avoid JJ.

Regardless of how obvious her bluffing is, John B doesn't call her out on it. Instead, he focuses on a different part of what she said.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay alone? I know your parents are out of town till next week..." he trails off into concerned silence.

The tip of her sneaker hangs off of the edge of the bottom step and absentmindedly digs a line into the dirt as she takes in his question.

Being alone when she's prone to panicking is a recipe for disaster. Anxiety and loneliness have a relationship similar to that of a weapon and ammunition. It takes very little for her to fall down the rabbit hole of obsessive thinking and break down into a hyperventilating, fearful mess, especially when no one else is there to tug her out of those dark thoughts.

Most of the time, the people who help her with that are her parents. If they're home during one of these episodes, she'll come stumbling downstairs to them from her room for help, and they'll do everything they can to bring her down from hysterics. Her friends, on the other hand, have yet to witness her have one of those moments.

"Having people with me helps, you know? But it is what it is, I'll just try to cope the best I can and hope for the best."

He nods, and though he's a portrait of understanding, she wonders if he finds it as juvenile and stupid as she does.

Logically, she knows that this anxiety is something many people experience. She understands that it's something that is mostly out of her control but can't help but tear herself apart over it.

She thinks to herself, What kind of weirdo can't sit inside during a thunderstorm or hurricane without losing their shit? Why am I not the one in control of my own mind when this happens?

Do her friends think similar things? Do they think it's as pathetic as she does, or is she just paranoid that they pick her flaws apart as much as she does? And, of course, she wonders what JJ would think if he saw her panic like that. He may have seen her start to become anxious on the HMS Pogue, but he hasn't seen her panic panic before, not in the way that her parents have, and she wonders if he'd think less of her for it.

Right when she's about to change the topic and steer him away from a chance to think of how ridiculous she's being about the approaching hurricane, he says something that makes her look back over at him.

"Then come spend the night at the Chateau. I can distract you. We can play board games and shit."

"Really?" she asks.

The idea of anyone wanting to waste an entire night playing board games and possibly signing themselves up for having to talk her down from a panic attack makes her heart melt.

"Yeah, why not? You need a friend tonight. You know any of us would do anything for you. You're like my little sister, dude, we'd all probably hack off a limb if we thought it'd help you. Especially JJ."

John B's last second name-drop is designed specifically for where he wants this conversation to go. Underneath the need to get his friends back to normal, he does feel a little guilty for having to do this. She thinks he's only offering to let her stay with him to help her—and he is, even if there weren't a rift between her and JJ, he'd still offer—but he has a different reason.

"Right," she says softly. "Speaking of which...is he gonna be there tonight?"

With how often he escapes his house to spend a night or two in temporary safety at the Chateau, it's not an unfounded assumption. He and John B spend more time together than any of them because of this, and when she goes over to hang out, she knows that he and JJ often come as a package deal.

He tries to play it cool and not give up anything that could make her suspicious of him, looking off at the van parked in the driveway as he takes a second to collect his thoughts. It's never easy for him to deceive people he cares about, even if it's for their own good. It wasn't easy when he invited JJ to spend the night a few hours ago with the knowledge that he'd soon invite Y/N too either, but he managed.

As always, Pope is the brains behind this operation. He was the one to suggest inviting them both over to wait out Agatha together when the three of them put their heads together to come up with a solution to their oblivious friends' drama. After JJ stormed out of the house the morning after the party, they knew they had to do something about it. This was what it came to.

"Nah. I offered but he said he's staying at home until this whole thing blows over."

He isn't sure why she buys into it.

She knows JJ well enough to know that he would literally rather eat glass than be trapped in a confined space with his dad for an entire day. Perhaps it's only because it's what she wants to believe. She wants to believe that she won't have to see him again tonight after everything that happened. How can she handle having to tell him why got so drunk that night and made an ass of herself? She can't bear to tell him all of that unnecessary drama started because she was jealous.

What right does she have to feel that way? He isn't hers. They aren't together, and she thinks it's quite obvious that he doesn't want a relationship out of whatever it is they have together. It was one night. She has no right to be mad at him for flirting with other girls because of it.

"Then I'll definitely be taking you up on that offer. Thank you," she says.

The old wooden stairs make a squealing sound when she stands to make her way inside to gather her things for the night, but the feeling of a warm hand gripping her forearm stops her mid-step. Her eyes follow down the length of her arm back to where he sits, glancing at her with this knowing look in his eyes that makes her want to turn and hide.

"When are you gonna talk things out with him, Y/N?" he asks. "He misses you."

Since the party, no one has had the courage to burst her bubble of pretending not to care until now, but now that someone has, all of her bottled up emotions stir inside of her at a simple concept she hadn't considered yet.

JJ misses her.

For the first time since they began this stupid game of cat and mouse, she is confronted with how desperately she misses him back. So consumed with the task of concealing everything that happened and trying to avoid him, she hadn't acknowledged that all she ever really wants is to be with him lately.

She misses his jokes and the way he looks at her when she giggles at them. She misses his smile when they play fight on the HMS Pogue. She even misses when he dangles her over the edge of the boat as a means to end the wrestling match, making her squirm in his strong hold as he threatens to toss her overboard.

But what she misses most of all is how he never lets her fall in. It's something about the way he looks at her as he pulls her back onboard, how time itself seems to stop in the moment between when he's still holding her and when she feels her feet touch the deck again.

Then, they'll suddenly want nothing to do with each other for the next half hour.

JJ will make himself busy forgetting the way her hands felt holding onto his shoulders for dear life, burning the memory of her palm prints into his skin for the next few hours. And she'll try her hardest to forget that charming smile and the feeling of his arms around her. But it won't work, not really, and when they're both laying down to sleep at night, they'll have one thing keeping them awake.

She takes a second to internalize what he said and avoid exposing the effect it has on her to hear it before asking, "Did he tell you that?"

The sky overhead grows darker and darker by the second, but she has yet to notice it due to the topic of their conversation. With JJ involved, her attention shrinks to a tunnel leading only to him. There's no room for anything else but the audacious idea planted in the back of her mind that he might miss her as much as she misses him.

"No, he didn't," John B admits, and right when she's about to say more in response, he cuts her off, "but hear me out. I've known him since we were kids, so I can tell when things aren't right with him, and ever since your relationship with him got complicated, I picked up on some weird vibes."

Y/N doesn't give anything away with how she reacts. He can't tell if she's about to bolt like JJ did or stay to talk and open up to him. All she does is cross her arms over her chest and lean back against the railing.

"Weird in what way?"

"Weird in a way that makes me think you two have to talk it out before you ruin your friendship. I've never seen him act this way over a girl."

That doesn't surprise her. He has a reputation for chasing after any girl available to him, something the Pogues have gently teased him about, and it factors into why she doesn't want to have this dreaded conversation with him. She doesn't want to sit there and listen to him tell her that she was just another one of those girls to him.

Going for broke and being honest about what he thinks of their situation is a better strategy for trying to get her to talk to JJ than the other way around. John B can look back on what happened the morning after the party and see where they went wrong in their approach of trying to get him to talk, but she's less unpredictable and turbulent than he is. The fact that she's hearing him out is enough proof of their differences.

She sighs.

"I know we need to talk sooner or later, but it's hard, you know? I'm so embarrassed of how everything went down at the party, even though I was too fucked up to remember most of it, and I just—" There's a brief second that lapses between when she stops and when she starts again where he can almost see her working through it in her head. "I don't wanna get hurt."

John B's face falls at the mention of the party and her feelings surrounding it.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed of. You drank too much but who cares? The only person who should be embarrassed about that night is the guy that tried to take advantage of you."

That part is the most fuzzy in her mind.

She can remember what led up to it and the moment she saw JJ pull him away from her, but she can't remember anything about the interaction itself. It wasn't as if he did anything to her—not yet—but the thought of it alone makes her skin crawl because she's seen that before. She's been the JJ in that situation, pulling a wasted Touron away from someone who thought nobody would be looking out for other people at the party, and she knows how quickly those situations can escalate past "harmless" flirting.

The sound of JJ shouting at Tyler echoes in her mind as she reaches for any remaining memories left from the party. He said it right after he punched him, when he was starting to rush forward to follow him onto the ground and pin him there.

"If I see you near my girl again, you're fucking dead! You got that?"

She doesn't remember realizing that he called her that at the moment. She was confused and upset and all she wanted to do was stop him from getting himself in trouble, so she pulled him away from hitting Tyler again without realizing what he said. And even now, she tries to avoid acknowledging it. She reasons with herself, telling herself that he was pissed off and didn't mean it, because if he did, why hasn't he told her how he feels yet?

Y/N looks up and sees how dark the converging clouds have gotten in the time since they began working on prepping the house for the hurricane, so her next words are shakier than usual.

"I guess you're right." She pushes off of her spot against the railing. "But can we not talk about JJ tonight? I kind of wanna hang out and forget about the rest of the stuff I've got going on right now."

This makes him feel a pang of guilt inside of him for the ulterior motive he's kept hidden from her for the duration of the conversation, but he knows it's for the best. Even if her and JJ's inevitable conversation goes in the wrong direction and they don't end up mending fences, it's better that they let it out sooner than later. If they wait any longer, it'll make it worse, and he knows that they're stubborn enough to keep this childish game going for another week or so.

So, he keeps her in the dark for now and offers a kind, "Sure, that's cool with me," despite knowing how messy the night will soon become.

A smile pokes at the edges of her mouth, making the sides of her eyes crinkle, and she extends a hand to help him up from where he sits.

"Now," she says as they make their way inside the house for her to pack a bag, "are you ready to get absolutely crushed in Monopoly?"

It started to rain before they left her house, and by the time they pull into the driveway of the Chateau, it's pouring down on them with violent winds whipping droplets at their faces hard enough to hurt.

The rapid pace of her pulse beats with such an intensity, she can feel it in her head. They shouldn't have taken so much time at her place before heading over here. While she was packing, they talked and dilly-dallied the whole time, and now they pay the price for it.

If she knew that it would start this soon into the night, she probably would've hurried things along sooner, but it's too late. She's already starting to feel that tightness in her chest and each breath of air feels less satisfying with every inhale. It's not so bad that she loses complete control of herself, but it's getting there, and she can't express how badly she doesn't want to lose her shit in front of John B.

The passenger side door is slammed shut by the force of the wind behind her, the noise becoming swallowed up in the rest of the budding storm, and she stifles a sound of surprise that escapes her in reaction to it. They're lucky they made it here in the first place. Any later in the night and they probably would've had to take refuge at her place until it blew over.

She decides to focus on how the edges of her white sneakers are swallowed up by the muddy earth on her way through the front yard to distract herself. It stains them a deep brown color and simultaneously washes them clean from the rain coming down from above, which she'd probably be annoyed about if she weren't such a nervous wreck. But, because she's too busy keeping her backpack raised over her head to shield herself from the rain on her way up to the front door, it's not high up on her list of priorities.

Since both the screen door and the door behind it are unlocked, she doesn't hesitate to come bursting into the house as she usually does.

Y/N lets out a deep breath, feeling that telltale tension in her chest and shoulders, and laughs at the sight of John B running in as she kicks off her shoes. His t-shirt is speckled with rainwater, and his hair is saturated enough with it to stick to the sides of his face after he crosses the threshold into the Chateau.

The sound of her laughter makes JJ's heart stop from where he stands in the kitchen.

"There was an umbrella right on the dashboard, why didn't you take—"

Her heart might as well have stopped just as abruptly as the sentence she was in the middle of saying when she turned and saw him standing there.

Maybe they're both a tad too dramatic, but it takes a full few seconds for them to stop staring at each other in surprise. He looks like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide with surprise like he was caught doing something he shouldn't even though all he was doing was grabbing a beer from the fridge.

It's been two days since they last saw each other. For him, the last glimpse he got of her was when he peeked through the blinds to see her pedaling away on her bike to go to work, but hers was somewhat different.

The last time she saw him, he was asleep. Their legs were tangled together underneath the sheets and his face was smushed against her chest, allowing her to feel the soft puffs of his exhales on her skin every few seconds. It's a wonder that she managed to slip away unnoticed once she remembered she had work that morning. He was holding her closely, so closely that she found it hard to discern where she ended and he began in the dazed, hungover headspace she woke up in.

It's when the conversation she had with John B on the front steps of her house comes back to the forefront of her mind that she puts together what's happening right now. Now that they're here, it's far too late to leave. With how aggressively the wind and rain batter the area surrounding the house, it's obvious that they're not going anywhere.

It seems to click with them at the same time, because JJ turns to look at him only a half second after she does.

Y/N says, completely serious, "If you did what I think you did, I'm gonna kill you."

Before either of them can think of doing anything, John B shoots out from the doorway and runs past her in the direction of the hallway where his bedroom is.

"Gotta catch me first!"

They both chase him, JJ hopping over the back of the couch to run after him, but they end up coming to a screeching halt at the shut door right when they hear the lock turn and click.

Neither of them knows what they were planning to do when they caught him, cause it isn't like they'd hurt him, but they bang on the door nonetheless. The sound is drowned out by the sound of the wind and rain pounding the outside walls of the house, picking up speed, and for a second she wants to kick the door open.

She shouts, "John B! Open this door!"

The last thing she wanted tonight was to be trapped in a house with the one person she didn't want to see. Doesn't John B realize how embarrassing it is for her to be around him when she knows that he's gonna reject her? He may have said something about JJ never acting so weird over a girl before, but he's wrong. There's no way JJ actually wants her...right?

"I can't hear you, this storm's kinda loud!" he yells back at them through the locked door. "Maybe try again later!"

Neither of them wants to acknowledge the other. In fact, they don't even want to look at each other right now, so all they can do to stop themselves from acknowledging the elephant in the room is continue trying to get answers out of John B. What does he think that locking them together in the Chateau for the night will accomplish other than make them ignore their own drama and team up to plot their revenge on him?

Though he's significantly less angry than she is, JJ pulls the doorknob enough to make the door whine on its hinges and pleads with their friend, "This isn't funny, John B. Open the door."

"Not until you guys stop being immature and talk to each other."

She furrows her brows at him even though he can't see her, saying, "It's none of your business. You can't just trap us here cause you think you know what's best for us."

The sound of thunder rumbling above the house makes her flinch, hand shooting out to latch onto JJ's arm on an instinct she couldn't consciously resist. Feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her palm and the fingers clutched around his wrist sends shocks of familiar electricity up her body. Touching him always makes her feel hyperaware of herself, leaving her to wonder if he can sense her pulse picking up or notice how her breathing pattern turns uneven.

With that being said, it's safe to say that the night they spent together took that sensation of electricity and hyperawareness to a height it hadn't reached before.

That time, it wasn't a brush of their hands or an arm over her shoulder, it was the epitome of physical closeness. She couldn't handle it. He was so sickeningly sweet with her, yet, at the same time, he knew all of the right times to be commanding and in control too. There were awkward moments at first, sure, but once they became comfortable with each other, it was game over.

And whenever they've touched since, she hasn't been able to get those memories off of her mind. It's less prevalent now, since she's only holding onto him out of fear, but it's still there underneath it all—the unfiltered desperation of the lust in his eyes, the low noises that escaped his parted lips, and the strong pair of hands that pinned her hips down on the mattress to give him the leverage to really give it to her at the intensity she begged for.

It's pathetically easy for her to be sucked right back into the vortex of emotions, memories, and fears that haunt her whenever they touch, but he brings her back out of it just as easily when he speaks.

"You okay?"

John B was as good as forgotten by him as soon as he felt her jolt next to him and grab onto his wrist like she was hanging from a ravine and he was the only thing preventing her from falling. It makes him feel like a fool, but even when they're ignoring each other, the urge to comfort and protect her from anything that displeases her never disappears. He'd literally fistfight Zeus if it meant there'd be less thunder to scare her.

If he weren't hiding behind a locked door to avoid their wrath, JB would probably be calling him a simp right about now.

The concern on his face is so pure and unaffected by any of the chaos that surrounds them, both physical and emotional, that it makes her stomach turn with a sick feeling. God, he really does care about her. Why does that scare her? Why doesn't she want to believe that he cares? Why is she so set on believing that he wanted nothing more than a quick fuck from her?

Her eyes turn down to see their connected hands, realizing all in one moment what she did and pulling her hand away as if she were burned.

"I—Yeah," she stops, looking up at him, then back to the closed bedroom door, "I'm fine. You know how it is, it's just the storm."

They're both left with no choice but to face the music after days of avoidance that had no good reason behind it other than the respective doubts and fears they have. Yet even now that they're standing here, unsure of what comes next, they're hesitant to say or do anything that might disrupt the illusion they've created in the week and a half since they first ruined their friendship for good.

It feels as though the tension that has been boiling between them is coming close to turning explosive and all it will take is one tremor of their self-control for it to spill over.

Every feeling they have feels so contradictory. They want to but they also don't. They almost do it, then hesitate and decide to ignore each other for days. At the party, this tug of war game was at its peak for JJ when she was telling him about her jealousy and cuddling up to him, but he couldn't do it then, not when she was drunk. And by the time he had a whole night to think it over and see her biking away, he didn't want to risk it.

She looks away from him, hoping that "out of sight, out of mind" may ring true for once, and says to John B through the door, "Whatever, have fun. I won't hold JJ back when you finally come out of there though."

He won't actually do anything to him, maybe just a non-serious fight that'll end with her walking in on them rolling around on the floor trying to wrestle each other, but she likes to fuck with him anyway. For the dick move he just pulled, she thinks he can withstand a little teasing.

Without anything else to say, Y/N turns and walks off to make herself useful elsewhere—anything to distract from the buzzing, anxious energy that surrounds her from both the hurricane and being forced to confront JJ. She tries to play it cool though she is anything but at the moment, allowing herself to grimace once her back is turned to the blonde boy still standing against the wall in the hallway.

Maybe if she keeps pushing this false sense of normalcy, it'll work. It worked when they both started pretending things never happened between them initially after they had sex, so who's to say it can't work now?

All they have to do is get through the next 12-24 hours without talking and all will be well. Right?

They tried.

They truly tried to get through the night without inciting chaos within the Chateau, but, for these two idiots, not inciting chaos is a task easier said than done. Not only was John B much more stubborn with staying in his room than either of them bargained for, he didn't even attempt to speak to them for the first five hours and they were left with nothing to do but find new ways to avoid talking to each other.

It was simple in the beginning.

She went off on her own and sat with her headphones in to drown out the sounds of the storm.

With her eyes fluttered shut to block out anything but the sound of The Cure blasting into her ears, there was no reason for her to have to worry about anything once her nerves began to settle. Since the songs drowned out any sound and all she could see was darkness behind her closed eyelids, she was able to drift away with the distraction of the music.

The thing is, after a while, she started to see pieces of him in every song she skipped to. She made it a full minute into Just Like Heaven before a supercut of her most treasured memories of him began appearing in her head. Fade Into You? Skipped as soon as the first dreamy lyric flooded in through the tangled cords of the headphones. Cloud 9? Forty seconds in. By the time Dirty Little Secret came on, she decided that her playlist was mocking her.

The headphones were out of her ears, hastily wrapped up, and stowed away in the small pocket of her overnight bag before the chorus of the song could hit. Thankfully for her, JJ wasn't looking when she ripped the headphones out and put them away in a huff, so by the time he turned to see her again, she was laying down on the couch to "nap"—meaning she laid awake for another hour and cursed John B for making her endure this.

While she was daydreaming of a John B voodoo doll, JJ was worried about her.

Yes, the topic of their relationship/friendship/situationship/whatever-the-fuck-it-is was bombarding him against his will every five seconds, but not without him coming back to his concern for her. A small sound of thunder on an otherwise perfect day was enough to make her zone out and start getting antsy that day on the boat, so he didn't want to know how bad it could get during a time like this.

He tried to play it cool, and, in all honesty, his remaining scraps of sanity lasted a lot longer than hers. Four and a half hours passed, then, as the storm began to do its worst on their town, the power flickered out and left them in complete darkness. At that point, John B was passed out in his bedroom, so he didn't care nor notice when they had to find a few candles and stumble through the dark.

Somewhere along the way, having to search through the dark house for candles to light and place around the living room led them here...he isn't quite sure how.

JJ can hardly open his eyes enough to see through the rain that pounds against him the second he runs after her through the back door. The wind is so aggressive and unrelenting, it almost sends him stumbling a few steps when he follows her blurry figure a few paces behind where she tries to flee the house in a panic.

"Get back inside!" he shouts as he picks up his speed to catch up, "Y/N!"

The part of him that isn't focused on the pure physicality of trying to see and move through the stormy weather is utterly overwhelmed with fear. Not for himself but for her. She's deathly afraid of mild storms, let alone hurricanes, and yet she ran through the back door when he tried comforting her through an anxiety attack. One would think that she wouldn't want to go directly into the thing she fears the most, but what sent her running for the hills wasn't the panic itself, it was him.

It's hard for her to think rationally in this state, but all she knows is that he was there, he was saying all the right things and holding her, and she couldn't do it. The fear began to blend to one centered around both him and the storm. The hours of useless distractions and ruminating in her thoughts built up to this point of contention, then it snapped.

Between the thunder, his voice, and the voice in the back of her head that was urging her to confess her feelings and do as John B advised them to, it became too much. Maybe it was the most idiotic split-second decision she made without any regard for logic or reason or her safety, but she bailed. For the third time, she couldn't handle the pressure and ran from him.

The only difference is that he couldn't let her leave this time.

He gasps for air against the streams of water flowing down his face, soaking his hair and making it hang in his eyes to obstruct his view more than the weather already has. It happened so fast, neither of them are wearing shoes. His feet sink into the muddy yard with every stride he takes in his frantic pursuit of her and it frustrates him no end because of how it slows him down.

There's endless dangerous possibilities with her being out here. She could be knocked over into the marsh by the wind, or stuck and hurt by a piece of debris—merely thinking about it makes him call out her name louder in the hopes that it'll wake her from her panicked trance.

After trudging through the mud all the way to the edge of the yard, he finally manages to get to her.

"What are you doing?" JJ shouts, turning her around and grabbing onto both of her arms as if one gust of wind would sweep her away if he didn't, "You're gonna get hurt!"

Stumbling backwards in the direction of the screened-in porch that surrounds the back door, he uses their difference in strength to tug her away in the direction she came out in. The rain makes it difficult to keep a firm grasp on her, and she almost slips away a couple of times when the wind picks up enough to make him too unsteady to hold on.

His arms slip around her waist for a better grasp on her the closer they come to reaching the house. The last thing he wants is to almost get her back inside and lose her at the last second. She isn't thinking rationally right now with the panic she feels taking full control of her responses. He knows firsthand how it feels to be thrown headfirst into a panic attack, he's been in her shoes before and knows better than anyone the lengths your irrational mind will go to if it means survival. And for whatever reason, her response is flight, not fight.

The door to the screen porch takes all of his effort to open against the power of the wind blowing it back against the house.

He grits his teeth as he forces it open, one arm secured around her midsection, and helps her in before he slips inside too. The second he lets go of the door, it's sent slamming back into place and rattling in the frame behind them, but he doesn't spend anymore time on it other than the few seconds it takes to lock it. As soon as it clicks with him that they're safe—most importantly, that she's safe—he whips around to face her with a cold rage flowing through his veins.

"What the fuck?"

She stands in front of him with water pouring off of her in rapid drops onto the rug, and there are no thoughts in her head outside of the ones telling her to leave. Her tears blend in with the droplets of rain so seamlessly that he wouldn't know she's crying if not for the sound of it.

In between her rapid breaths and sobs, she yells back at him, "I was scared, okay?"

"Why'd you run out into the storm if you—"

"I wasn't afraid of the storm, I was afraid of you!"

The silence that follows is louder than anything they've experienced. Nothing can rival it, not the thunder, the rain, or anything can drown it out while he stares at her in shock. His eyes are wide, lips slightly parted as he reaches for something, anything, he can say in response to that, but there's nothing. For once, he is absolutely speechless.

Things got awkward between them in the initial aftermath of last week, but not like this. There was never an instance where he felt like there was nothing left for him to say to her to fill the uncomfortable silence that always brought forth memories of them together until now. Until she said the last thing he wanted or expected to hear.

His anger subsides as he picks over what he did in his head for anything that could've made her feel unsafe.

Before it evolved into him chasing after her through the hurricane, he noticed how terrible it had gotten for her when he lit the first candle. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her chest began to rise and fall faster with each second that passed. He could see it on her face that things were getting worse, but, now that he thinks of it, it got worse once he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.

It felt like a dream sequence in his head, so hazy and faraway now that it's over, and he was so stunned by what she was doing, he didn't run after her until a few seconds later. There was a delay in which he stood there in surprise and tried to process what the hell just happened to no avail. Though it wasn't very long, he remembers it feeling like eternity tucked into the cramped space of four seconds.

JJ's voice is softer than she's ever heard it, asking into the void of the near-darkness that encloses them, "What'd I do?" And it breaks her heart in half to hear him sound so concerned, so terrified of the idea that he did something to hurt her when all he did was try to help. "I never meant to scare you, I swear. I know how bad it can get sometimes, and I know we haven't been talking but I'd never try to hurt you if that's what you thought..."

His thoughts run rampant with the possibilities of what she was thinking at the time, and he realizes that he can't stand the idea of her thinking anything badly of him. He never cares about what people think, but, fuck, he loathes the idea of her having any ill feelings toward him.

Y/N immediately starts shaking her head, her face scrunching with the emotion and incessant tears.

"I know you'd never hurt me. I was scared because..." she stops herself mid sentence, catching it right when she was about to admit the one thing she promised herself she wouldn't.

But the need to say it doesn't go away this time. Usually, once she catches herself she comes to her senses and realizes how foolish it would've been to confess, but this time is different. This time, the urge to speak her mind and tell him everything sticks around. The words left unsaid creep up her throat, thrashing and begging to let out after months of being pushed aside.

The look in her eyes is strangely reminiscent of the way she looked at him the night they hooked up, almost yearning in its nature, and he couldn't be more confused. She's scared of him, but she's looking at him like she did when she was two seconds away from jumping his bones. And if he didn't do anything wrong, why was she afraid enough to face her worst fear in order to avoid him?

"Because what?" he asks.

That frustration from when they first stepped into the porch hasn't vanished, it only took a backseat once she said she was afraid of him, not the storm, and he can feel it stirring up again. He's tired of not having answers. He's tired of mixed signals and loneliness and unrequited love. Most of all, he's tired of her running away all the time. At this point, he questions whether or not it's worth it to expose his feelings to her and suffer the consequences.

John B was right. This isn't healthy for them, nor is it healthy for them to put their friends through this along with them, and it might be better to not be friends than to stay this way forever. At least that way they wouldn't be wishing for answers that would never come for the rest of their time together.

She decides at this moment that this has to be said before it gets worse, before she runs away again like a scared, immature child and ruins everything.

"Because," she has to shout over the lightning that cracks down on the earth down the street, something she would be trembling in fear over if she weren't so focused on him, "I've been in love with you for a couple months and it scares me more than anything, even this stupid fucking storm! And I've tried so hard to ignore it because I know you don't feel the same way, but you touched me and I just"—a soft cry escapes her—"I couldn't do it anymore."

There it is.

After months of ruminating over it and hiding everything, he knows, and her immediate feeling after she says it isn't what she thought it would be. She expected trepidation and regret, but what she finds on the other side isn't either of those, it's relief. Her dad often tells her when she's nervous about something that the anticipation is worse than the thing itself, and that has never been as true her as it is now.

However, some of the nerves return with the time that passes after she spoke in complete silence. Much like the delayed reaction he had to her running out of the house, it isn't as long as it feels to her. It's a short span of time that it takes for her words to process with him, but it feels like an eternity that he stands there with his head facing the floor in quiet contemplation.

Her heart sinks.

This means he doesn't feel the same way, doesn't it? If he were the one telling her he loved her, she likely would've leaped into his arms and said it back, but he stays where he is.

Then, after what feels like forever, she thinks she sees him start to smile and feels like she's losing her mind. It's quite dark out here, so there's only a limited amount of light to allow her to see his features, but there's no doubting it when a flash of lightning floods the porch with a split-second of harsh light.

Oh God, why is he smiling? What does it mean?

Much to her frustration, the first thing he says after her confession isn't much help in making her understand his feelings either.

"Why didn't you just talk to me?"

Why? The voice in the back of her mind asks incredulously. Is he seriously asking why? He ignored me too. He didn't want to talk about it either, so what else was I supposed to do?

Maybe she was undeniably worse when it came to the avoidance and lack of communication, but he could've reached out to her too. They both could've. Instead, they spent day after day waiting for the other to make the move and pushed the tension further and further until it finally broke. Now she's waiting for him to hurry up and reject her so she can move on with her life.

She shivers from the wind blowing at her wet skin through the screens separating them from the outside world, crossing her arms over her body to hug herself. His eyes follow her movements down to the breaths that are slowly evening out without her realizing it. It turns out that confessing your love for the guy you've been crushing on since the day you met him is a hell of a distraction.

"I thought you wouldn't wanna hear me being all emotional and shit over a one time thing. You've literally never had an actual relationship before. And that's fine," she rambles, "I'll be okay eventually, but that's not who you are and there isn't a problem with that. I just caught feelings when I shouldn't have."

In her defense, she isn't making baseless assumptions about him, he hasn't had a relationship before. His love life hasn't ever really revolved around love itself, it was mostly comprised of random chicks he'd meet at parties or at the beach during the summertime when tourists come to visit the island. Out of all of them, he's the last one the Pogues would expect to fall in love with someone and commit to a relationship, but then...

He looks over at her with a swell of emotion within him that he's never felt before. It wasn't like he hadn't known before now. He did. He even said it out loud to himself that morning after the party, but this is when it feels the most real. Now that she's said it to him, he doesn't feel so stupid for toying with the four letter word in the back of his mind for the entirety of the past week.

In all honesty, he was the last person he would've expected to fall in love with someone this quickly too. He thought he knew himself better than this. He thought he could keep himself hidden away and not let anyone close enough to see him—the real him, faults and feelings and vulnerability included—but she proved him wrong. In walked Y/N with her pretty smile, teeny bikini bottoms, and oddly strong opinions on Ratatouille, and he stood no chance.

This sudden crescendo of emotion only continues to grow when he watches her shiver, soaked to the skin, across from him and decides that he never wants to deny himself of her again. Those feelings of inadequacy that forced him to question his relationship with her may not have gone away, not by a long shot, but they can't stop him anymore. Nothing can.

Like a light flickering to life in this swirling, stormy darkness, she hears JJ's voice asking her, "What if it is who I am?"

It was said so softly, she nearly lost it beneath the rain and wind. But it was not said with a lack of certainty, which is why she questions if she heard him correctly. He sounded so sure of himself that it feels too good to be true. After his reaction, or lack thereof, to her telling him she loved him, she accepted what was coming and this was not it.

"What?"

He doesn't miss a beat.

"You heard me." There's a pause. "Maybe I needed to meet the right girl."

There is no way he's saying what she thinks he's saying because if he is...if he is then that means the tears and frustration have all been for nothing because he loves her back. But if he loves her, then what was with the kook girl? Was it to make her jealous, or is she misinterpreting him right now and he was flirting with that girl because he doesn't have real feelings for her?

"JJ..." she trails off, looking down and thinking to herself how thankful she is that it's too dark for him to fully see how nervous he made her, "don't do that."

Partly, he should feel offended that she'd think he'd toy with her feelings like that, but he isn't. He's too busy wondering what on earth made this poor girl so insecure to think that someone has to be joking to confess their love to her. It makes him wonder if anyone wronged her before she moved here, and he feels that switch of impulsive anger inside of him flip at the thought.

But that anger has nowhere to go, so it shifts into something different—a need to spend every waking moment of the rest of their time together proving to her that she doesn't have to be so afraid. Does it make him a hypocrite? Probably. It wasn't too long ago that he was telling the Pogues how much he didn't deserve to be with her, but he doesn't see himself the same way he sees her. In his head, he has reasons to believe he doesn't deserve her love, but how could she ever think that herself?

He steps closer to her, the movement something so natural and unconscious to him that he doesn't recognize he does it until he hears her breath hitch in the back of her throat. They were already close enough to reach out and touch each other if they wanted to, yet now it's the kind of closeness that wipes the slate of her mind clean with nothing else but the thought of him there to stay.

He starts to say, "I'm not fucking with you, dude, I'm being serious—"

"Then prove it."

Oh.

The sound of his unfinished sentence lingers on the tip of his tongue as he blinks away his surprise at what she said, though it was less of a statement and more of a challenge. What the challenge is, he isn't too sure, but he thinks there could be a couple of meanings there.

The fire in her eyes when she looked up at him is one he recognizes very well, it stars in one too many of his daydreams that center around their secret night together. She rose to the occasion without fail and matched his chaos every time, and that steely-eyed stare is reminiscent of it.

Yet, the sexual undertone isn't the only part of it to be discovered. There's a clear meaning there for him to actually prove it, to put his money where his mouth is, grow a pair, and tell her how he feels with no room for confusion. No more miscommunication, running away, or insecurity getting between them, just a clear cut confession like hers.

His hand runs through his hair to sweep it out of his eyes and keep the wet strands from dripping down his face. It helps him see her a little better too, grounding him to the moment and calming him at the dimmed sight of her expectant, wide eyed gaze.

There were a million versions of this whenever he let himself imagine admitting it. He only let himself picture it on the worst days, days like the one two days ago when he went home to his dad, ending the night by cleaning his own cuts and inspecting his own bruises in his locked bedroom. He did it to distract himself from wanting to storm out of the room and finally kill the son of a bitch after years of suffering in silence.

JJ closed his eyes, shaking with anger, and dreamed of how he'd tell her. There were versions with long speeches that were far too sappy to exist outside of the realm of his imagination. There were versions with him burying the words between friendly jokes to play down the extent of his feelings too, but he thought it worked best in its simplest form.

So he puts it as simply as it gets, lips fighting a soft smile as he crosses the space between them and rushes in to kiss her. It's charged with an accumulation of the pent up love, anger, and sexual desire that has been repressed until now, resulting in something utterly explosive.

He stops for a second to whisper, "I love you too," into her parted lips, and she finally lets herself go at the sound of those words.

Forget that they've only known each other for five months, when you know you know. This is the real deal. This is the kind of feeling that possesses every accessible inch of her heart and she'd never be open enough to admit that to anyone but him at the moment, but neither of them minds that. It's such a new, rapidly developing feeling that they want to protect it and keep it close to them for the time being.

His arms twine around her waist, tugging her the last bit forward and leaving no space between their bodies this time. The sudden movement draws a sharp gasp from the back of her throat and sends her hands out to brace themselves on his shoulders. The sound of the gasp that disappears into their connected mouths only fuels him on more. It makes him more eager with how he touches her with his hands drifting down the plane of her back, one of which playfully slipping beneath the hem of her soaked shirt in a way that makes her smile into the kiss.

He knows exactly what he does to her. He can sense it in the small reactions that would often go overlooked if it were someone less familiar with her.

It's easy to tell by the way she completely surrenders herself to him, letting out these soft little noises she doesn't even realize she's making when he takes control of the interaction and kisses her like he's starved for it. In a way, he is starving for affection and attention from her. He never knew it was something he needed so badly until he got it, and now he never wants to go without having her again.

That's why it doesn't surprise him when she starts getting antsy after a moment or two, especially after keeping away from him for days.

Her hands run down the length of his chest over the soaked t-shirt, taking a quiet victory in how his stomach flinches inward in response to her exploring touch, and she could swear his next exhale trembles as she continues lower. Never once does she break the kiss, which, by the way, has gone past the point of being passionate and straight to downright needy, but her concentration does falter. The perfectly paced rhythm of her mouth moving with his is interrupted when she touches him over the fabric of his shorts.

Those plushy soft lips go on an exploration of their own too. Leaving him with the first opportunity to catch his breath in minutes, she dips her head beneath the sharp edge of jaw in pursuit of the sweet spot she remembers reducing him to a grabby, moaning mess the last time they did this. It doesn't take her long, not if the tightening of his arms around her and the satisfied hum of a moan she feels vibrate beneath her mouth has anything to say for it.

He loses himself in it for a second or two...okay, fine, maybe ten.

The separate sensations combined spark a flame inside of him that burns so hopelessly for whatever she'll give him. His mind sends him images of them together, both real memories from their first time together and imagined fantasies he only let himself visit in his dreams, and he realizes how thinly spread his self control has become lately.

First, it's the thought of her from last week, thoughts of her gasping, writhing, and begging beneath him that makes his cock throb under the teasing contact of her hand through his shorts. But then he's brought elsewhere. Then, though he hasn't thought of it since the day after the party, he thinks of the mix of jealousy and anger he felt when he saw Tyler with her.

He remembers being sane one moment and charging across the room like a madman the next. He remembers how it felt to watch another person's hands slip under her dress, how it felt to see someone else try to kiss her the way he had, and this raw wound of a memory is all it takes to spur him into action.

It happens so quickly, she doesn't even notice what's happening until he has her scooped up in his arms with her legs around his waist. She doesn't even have the chance to voice her surprise or crack a joke at the expense of his neediness before he reconnects their paused kiss with enough force to make her teeth ache in the collision.

JJ's rings are colder than ice, digging into the flesh of her thighs as he holds them with a tight grip and blindly takes the few steps necessary to reach the back entrance of the house. His wet handprint smudges on one of the cracked-open glass doors and sends droplets of water dribbling down the surface. The teardrop of rain zig-zags at the swinging motion of the door on their way in, only changing course again when he nudges it shut behind him a little too loudly.

"Wh"—her question is cut off by him laying her down on the rug-covered floor in between the couch and coffee table—"What if John B wakes up?"

His first thought was to bring her into the spare bedroom, but then he realized that it shares a wall with John B. Then, he considered the pull out couch but realized that would be louder than the room adjacent to their friend's. His only conclusion was this.

It isn't nearly as romantic as either of them would've pictured, but they're not exactly picky either. They're so desperate for it, they'd likely do it on the porch in the middle of a hurricane if there weren't another option. And in their own weird way, they make it romantic.

There's no one else she'd rather risk rug burn for, and that is the peak of romance.

"John B sleeps like a fuckin' rock," JJ says, "and it's own his fault for trapping us here anyway."

He follows her down onto the floor without a second thought, not even looking up to see if they woke their friend with the sound of the door shutting behind them.

Hovered above her, he looks particularly captivating in the flickering candlelight. The fire burning in one of the three-wick candles they scoured the bathroom cabinets for brings out the warm hues in his blonde hair and highlights every edge of the angular face that looks down at her. The porch was far too dark for her to see him in all of his near-perfection, but this is enough for her to notice a multitude of things.

His slicked back, wet hair allows her to see his features better and the way he looks at her...it's enough to make anyone feel red in the face. How hadn't she see it before? She knows it was denial, but, somehow, she used to overlook the small hints along the way like how he looks at her like she's the only thing that makes sense to him. For the first time in a while, she allows herself to embrace the idea of being loved without looking for something to justify her fears surrounding it.

The sound of her voice brings him out of the mesmerized trance he fell under at the sight of her.

"I've missed you," she says softly, "like a lot."

The sweet admission slows him down for a second, making him stop to ignore the distracting desire that she sparked to life a moment ago and take the time to cherish this moment of rare serenity with her.

It's a wonder that she hasn't even acknowledged the storm raging on outside since they've come back in. It's all thanks to him, of course, since she's been too focused on everything happening between them, but it surprises him. It makes a sense of pride flare up in him on her behalf for being capable of forgetting something she fears so much.

But, on the other hand, it reminds him of how distraught she was right before their conversation/argument on the porch shifted from her panic to the topic of their relationship, and he can't help but hesitate a little.

"I missed you too." The hand he isn't using to support himself above her cups her face, his thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone. "Are you okay though? You were just crying and I don't wanna make you—"

"Yes."

It was so said so quickly, there was zero hesitation. It's not that it doesn't surprise him that she's as eager as he is after what started to happen out on the porch, but it does make his eyes widen a little. His mouth curls with a slight grin. It's the kind that never fails to make her stomach fluttering and light with butterflies.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm okay, and I promise I'll let you know if I'm not," Y/N clarifies.

"Okay."

There's a short moment where all they do is look at each other with a complete loss for words to convey what they feel right now. It isn't as awkward as it would've been prior to tonight. Before they confessed their feelings, they wouldn't have been able to look at one another for any longer than a few seconds without needing to walk away to break the tension. Now, things have changed. They don't feel the need to conceal how much they care anymore.

They're still the same bickering duo they've always been with the added fun of being head over heels. She never used to understand how some people could let their feelings for another person drive them crazy, but it's done more than make her crazy this past week. It made her jealous, obsessive, and somehow happy too, and no one has ever made her feel so many varying emotions in her life.

Her fingertips graze the stretch of skin between where his cargo shorts sit on his hips and his shirt rides up the side of his torso, and he swallows thickly at the feeling.

"Do I make you nervous?" she asks.

Her lilting, smooth voice is enough to soothe any nerves he could possibly have. It's as if hearing her ask that paired with the hand teasing the waistband of his shorts pulled him back to the place he'd been before when she was teasing him over his clothes.

He answers honestly, his head going fuzzy with the crushing desire that courses through him, "Not as nervous as I make you," and closes the space between them again.

The cheeky comment doesn't go unnoticed by her, not one bit. It makes her face heat up in embarrassment that is purely instinct after having to hide her feelings from her for so long. Maybe after they've been together for longer, it won't make her blush every time he acknowledges the effect he has on her out loud, but that day isn't today. Today, she goes hot in the face from a sole second of his attention, let alone this.

JJ lets his hand climb up the length of her torso as they kiss as if they have all the time in the world, as if their best friend isn't sleeping less than twenty feet away from them, until it flattens at the base of her neck. It doesn't curl around her neck and squeeze, nor does it do anything but remind her how much she loves the feeling of him touching her, the large palm of his hand simply stays draped over her throat to flaunt his ability to sway her nerves.

She's pretty sure if it were anyone else, it wouldn't work, but he's JJ for fuck's sake, and the quiet display of dominance sends an exhilarating little thrill rumbling through her. It isn't anything over the top or exaggerated like some people would do in an attempt to stake a claim over the person they love, just a simple gesture that they both know the meaning of.

She's his. After five months of friendship, two months of silent pining, and a week of sexually confused hell, she's his, and he'll never let her forget it.

The wind rattles the windows over the couch with its force and she notices that his hips grind into hers at the sudden sound. Even in the midst of such a heated moment, it's downright cute how he still makes an effort to distract her from what she fears. And, boy, does it work.

Their panting breaths in the brief seconds they allow themselves to break away from each other are the only sounds audible in the small living room. The storm drowns it all out for now, including the noises that start to leave them from the steadily building pleasure of their bodies moving together.

She can feel how hard he is through the layers that separate them with every absentminded thrust that brushes the fabric of her panties up against her clit each time. It leaves her breathless and wondering, despite already knowing, what it'll feel like when he finally slips inside of her again.

They both fantasized about it in the time they spent apart. Neither of them would dare deny it, least of all JJ. It actually became frustrating after a while because she started to become the only scenario he could conjure to get himself off when he had a rare moment of privacy. His fantasies, all stemming from the night that was so perfect, he began to question the reality of it, linger in his head.

The best part of his fantasies were the parts of them based in truth, and if he knows anything about her when she's in this state, it's that she's needy. Her tongue swipes along his bottom lip in a silent urging to let her deepen the kiss, and he complies without a second to spare, willing to entertain her every whim so long as she keeps being so good for him.

He revels in her muffled squeak of a moan when he presses down on the sides of her throat at the precise moment his hips grind down to meet hers. She can't keep herself still for any longer than a half-second, always meeting his movements halfway and unknowingly doing another thing that will be the death of him.

She leads his shirt up his body without having to second guess herself, knowing that he's always on the same wavelength as her no matter what. This was how it was the last time too. Anything she did, he was already one step ahead, and tonight isn't much different. By the time her hands ball up the dripping cotton fabric, JJ is lifting the hand off of her neck to reach for the neckline of the shirt and help tug it off.

There's a sense of urgency in everything they do. Charged up with frustration and jealousy that brewed within the days they spent apart, there's nothing to stop them from reducing themselves to a pair of panting, impatient lovers too consumed in each other to care about the outside world.

The sopping wet fabric is thrown beyond her line of sight and lands on the hardwood floor with a 'thwack' that accompanies their cacophony of moans and gasps, and she whimpers at the sight of him. It may have to do with the fact that he's guiding their bodies together at a cadence and pressure perfect enough to make her legs tremble, but seeing him like this does nothing but aid the sensation.

Golden skin glistening under the candlelight, tendrils of half-dry blonde hair falling into his face with the lazy effort of his movements, and a stray raindrop that squeezed from the wet shirt dripping down his chest...she's not gonna make it out of tonight alive, is she? In her memory, she knew he was a sight to see in the midst of a heated moment, but, fuck, memories do not hold up beside the real experience of it.

Y/N is so caught up in his seemingly endless beauty, she doesn't notice him peeling her damp denim shorts off of her hips until they're halfway down her legs, and the only reason she does notice is because he must shift his position to do it. Suddenly, the budding feeling that stirred from their needy antics is plucked away and left to ache for more in the absence of him between her thighs.

Her middle and index fingers hook around the front of his necklace to pull him back down to her, but he doesn't budge at first. He's too busy trying to rid her of her shirt to care.

It was too much of a distraction while they kissed for him to resist slipping it off of her when he got the chance to. Much to his frustration when he first realized they were trapped with each other, she's braless underneath, and it's only worse now that the t-shirt is soaked to her skin and clinging to every delicate curve.

Once the clothing gives way to the canvas of her bare skin, he submits to her urgency and follows her down by the fingers hooked around his necklace without any qualms.

As soon as they resume, it's as if they never stopped to begin with, and they start to realize how seamlessly they fit together as the seconds elapse. Neither of them are actively thinking about it while he dips his hand into the front of her panties, but it is in their subconscious.

It's a revelation of sorts, an ah-ha moment where it hits them both in a sweeping realization that it was obvious from the day they met. They should've known sooner, they should've dropped their pride and admitted it as soon as the first inklings of desire began to pop up, but they didn't. Instead, it washes over them now and they let the current take them away together.

Her mouth falls open against his cheek at the feeling of his fingers swiping through the arousal that pools in her underwear for him, dragging the wetness over his fingertips and spreading it up to brush fleetingly against her clit. It's a split-second of a touch that it makes her hips lift up off the floor on their own accord to seek out more. It makes her dig her nails into the skin stretching over his taut shoulder muscles in a wordless plea for more that he doesn't indulge her in at first.

He makes her earn it from him without having to say a single word. He touches her, but he doesn't touch where she wants or ease his fingers into her to satisfy the need she feels yet. It's a blessing and a curse that he manages to turn her on to such an extent. He does it for her like nothing else can, so much so that she's noticed a distinct difference in how it feels when she's alone versus when they're together. When she's alone, it can tend to feel like active effort, but when she's with him, it's as natural as the urge to breathe.

His smirk is felt against her skin the entire time she begs for it through the revealing actions of her body—her hips jerking up toward him, her chest pressing tightly to his, and the sound of her murmuring, "Please," in a breathy tone that could stop his heart.

"Tell me what you want," JJ says, every word constrained and tight in a way that tells her he's a lot less composed than he lets on, and "accidentally" swipes his thumb over her clit again. "Talk to me, baby."

She almost forgot in their time apart how much of an effect he has on her, but this is the best reminder of that she could possibly imagine. If she could, she would find a way to bottle the feeling he gives her and keep it with her forever so that, no matter what happens between them, she'll never have the misfortune of forgetting him.

What he said simultaneously melts her heart and frustrates her to no end because he knows! He knows damn well what she wants from him and won't give it to her unless she asks for it, and she hates herself for loving it. She hates herself for enjoying the flushed-face embarrassment it brings to her cheeks to be so open with him about what she needs.

She swallows the lump in her throat and tries to focus through the clouded landscape of her head to speak to him. It's hard to concentrate when he's above her like this, touching her, calling her pet names, and looking at her like that.

With his lips worshiping the sensitive skin along her neck, she finds it hard to choke out the words, "I want you," into the humid air that has infiltrated the house.

It's not a lie. Anything regarding her wanting him or any related feeling is no longer something she can hide anymore, but they both know it isn't exactly what he wanted. No matter how it took his breath away to hear her say it, he was seeking something more specific. He was aiming to make her ask, maybe even beg, for it. They're both too impatient to wait and based on how wet his fingertips are from barely dipping into her, he can tell she's as eager as he is.

It's been thirteen days too long since the last time they allowed themselves to meet this way, and neither of them wants to let it happen again.

She was nearly trembling with the urge to go to him whenever they were together in the company of their friends, unable to think about anything except for how badly she wanted him. All the while, he appeared so unbothered, especially on the night of the party when he flirted with someone else, that she didn't even believe he felt the same way back. Thankfully for her, she couldn't have been more wrong.

He clicks his tongue and says, still teasing her with light touches that never linger in one place for too long, "That wasn't very specific."

Part of her should know that he's about to do something based on how he withdraws his head from its cherished place in the crook of her neck, but she's too caught up in the anticipation and seeing his face for the first time in a minute to think about it. How dare he look so good? She could cry in frustration, although she might actually already be tearing up a little with the rush of neediness hitting her in its full force.

Never has she felt so turned on by so little physical contact before. It usually takes longer for her to get to this point, whether it be alone or in the past with previous partners, yet all it took was being kissed, touched, and being given his undivided attention and now...She realizes she's in trouble. He has her in an emotional and sexual chokehold at this point, and she fears that no one can compare.

"I want—" her voice is snuffed out in an instant when he eases two fingers into her, "Oh!"

So that's why he pulled away from her neck to look at her.

It was worth abandoning the mark forming on her neck just to see the expression on her face shift. She gets this cute look when anything overwhelming starts to happen where her brows scrunch a little to create a soft wrinkle between them as her mouth drops open in a moan. And after ten steady minutes of doing nothing but some over the clothes action and painstaking teasing, this is as overwhelming as it gets without it crossing the line to being too much.

It never occurred to her how much larger his fingers are compared to hers until now. This type of pleasure is like an itch only someone else can scratch to her, she feels virtually nothing when she does it to herself, but when he does it, it's like an explosive being set off inside of her. Especially with the thumb that sneaks up to circle her clit without stopping to tease her again, she is putty in his hands at this point.

Every smooth stroke of his fingers into her reaches a spot she can never quite find on her own, and she can feel the cold bite of rings when they're buried into her to the knuckle.

It's a surprise every time, even when she knows to expect it. Like a delightful chill running up through her body and down her spine exactly how it's intended to. It strikes an idea in her head for when he eventually pulls them out of her, conjuring the image of her sucking them clean for him just for the sake of imagining what it'll do to him.

With that idea tucked away in the back of her mind, he's the center of her world right now. All she breathes, thinks, and feels is him. Whether it be the sight of him, or the feelings he's giving her, or even the taste of his kiss that still lingers on her tongue, it connects to one common thread.

"What were you saying?" JJ asks, and she wants to wipe that smirk right off his face.

It's virtually impossible for her to piece together a coherent thought, let alone a sentence detailing every filthy idea she has for him, but she tries. It takes another moment or two of her succumbing to the rapid incline of pleasure that he gives her, watching her in wonder through any greedy buck of her hips or gasping inhale that makes her head loll back onto the floor.

At first, what she wanted to say was that she wanted him to touch her, to do anything more than the fleeting touches he gave before. Now, she wants more than that. Now that she's drawn in closer to the eventual high that's to come, she doesn't want it to happen like this. She wants to feel closer to him than this, wants to feel him throb inside of her and fuck her with all of the urgency and desperation that has accumulated in their time apart.

That's why her hands start to grab at the belt loops of his shorts to tug him closer by them, meeting his gaze through the hazy bliss of his fingers pumping into her. It's not enough.

"Please"—she keeps pulling him closer to her, so close that there's hardly any space left to cross, and he revels in her desperation—"just fuck me already..."

Internally, JJ is losing his shit.

Though this was what he wanted, what he coaxed out of her with the teasing and the pretend sense of a nonchalant attitude on his part, it hits him harder than he expected it to to hear her say it. It's not necessarily the act of begging itself either, it's the fact that she's the one doing it. She may have been jealous of the girl at the party, but she had nothing to worry about. Not in the slightest.

Before her, he never thought he'd fall for someone this way. It's not like he had a hatred for love or anything, he understood the appeal, it simply wasn't his thing.

He was perfectly content with his only form of companionship being his friends. Then, she came along and changed it. So to hear her say something like that isn't just breathtaking, it's the kind of thing that makes his heart ache for her. It hits him precisely where she wanted it to, and he has never felt as consumed with love the way he does now.

JJ can do nothing to stop himself from pouncing on her at this point, like some animalistic form of himself has worn down the restraint he used to keep himself at bay.

The loss she feels when his fingers slip away from her is an emptiness she mourns at first before she realizes what's happening. He pulls away slightly to reach down between them for the front of his shorts, and their hands clash as they both frantically try to undo them together. The rings adorning his fingers glisten when they catch the light and remind her of the thought that popped into her head when she first felt their coldness against her skin.

That idea paired with the promise of what they're trying to accomplish in their uncoordinated attempt to get the rest of their clothes off makes her want to press her thighs together. Her hands abandon the task of undoing his shorts for the sake of ridding herself of the last layer that separates her from him.

Her most embarrassing old pair of brightly colored panties, courtesy of past Y/N's questionable decision to trust her mom to buy some on her behalf, are hardly a sight to behold. They're the kind that come in a value pack from Walmart, vibrant blue with the word, "Tuesday," printed on the front of them, and she could hide her face into the rug in shame if she weren't so determined to get them off. Of all the days to wear the day of the week undies her mom accidentally got her, of course she chose today.

By the time she reaches for the waistband, he has pushed his shorts and underwear down his thighs and comes back to her with just as much excitement as he left with, but when he helps her tug her panties down her legs, he laughs. Apparently, he had also been too eager to touch her to notice what was written on them before.

"Cute," he breathes out through a laugh, then adds as the cotton fabric slips over her knees, "Pretty sure it's not Tuesday though."

"If you tell anyone, I swear I'll—"

He cuts her off, "Whatever you wanna threaten me with won't work, chances are I'm gonna be into it."

Her eyes are alight with a certain fire he's had yet to fully lure out of her. Even her voice is slightly more airy and seductive as a result of it.

"Promise?"

JJ grins down at her as he finally tosses her panties aside with the rest of their clothes, "Cross my heart, pretty girl."

His hands grip her thighs and tug her down the  rug to him with a quick jolt that snaps them out of the playful nature of their back and forth teasing. No matter how lighthearted of an interruption it was, the mini-conversation might as well have never existed for how easily they fall back into it again.

She watches with her forehead pressed against his as he strokes himself a few times, then drags his tip, messy with precome, through her wet heat. And though she watches it happen, her body still arches into his when he lines up with her and sinks his hips forward.

She anticipated it, but she still gasps and digs her nails into his biceps at the sensation of him pushing into her. Neither of them bothers to worry about the obvious lack of a condom—it was discussed the first time around when he offered and she told him it was okay. He's often the one to silence the alarm on her phone warning her in its title to, "Take your birth control or else, bitch," while she searches her bag for it anyway, so he trusts her.

Both of them prefer it this way enough to risk the  minuscule failure rate of the pill anyway. It's more intimate, closer, and they can both feel the warmth of each other in a way that would've been somewhat muted with an added layer between them. It makes the feeling of him entering her all the more gratifying as she tenses up around him in reaction, drawing a groan from where his parted lips brush against hers.

She lifts her head off of the floor as much as she can to capture his mouth with her own and stifle the sonorous sound despite the storm doing a better job of it.

It seems that every blast of wind and roll of thunder is in their favor tonight, so much so that he isn't even worried about getting walked in on. It's not a thought in his head at this point, the only thought he's capable of having is this. Forgive him for being shortsighted, but he doesn't give a shit if John B notices or hears what's happening when he's buried inside of her so deeply.

His hips are flush with the backs of her thighs in a matter of seconds, and right when he pauses to give her a breather, he feels her shake her head ever so slightly against where their faces are pressed together.

The touch of her hands on his hips is not timid by any means, it's commanding. Her palm prints singe an indelible claim into the surface of his skin as she guides him to start moving without a second spared to dwindle the discomfort of him filling her up. It's less like a pain and more of a pressure blooming from the insistent presence of him, not so overwhelming that it's painful, but it's an effort to breathe evenly and the only thing that'll ease this transitional moment is to continue.

At first, their bodies start to rock together lazily as though on autopilot. They'd hardly be conscious of the fact that they're doing anything if not for the initial sensations of heady ecstasy that flash like the sparks of a lighter in response to their movements. As soon as he felt her hands coax him into action, he sighed happily and surrendered himself to the instinct of wanting to move.

The merging of their bodies is less of the aggressive rutting motions they'll surely succumb to once their current pace is no longer satisfying, but that doesn't make it any less intense. She's partly sure that this is one of the most vulnerable moments either of them has ever had when it comes to sex, and it wouldn't work if it weren't them together. No other person could consume her the way he does, taking up every unoccupied space of her soul until there's nothing left but the silent begging of her heart for him.

Their kiss is messy when it breaks to allow them the chance to suck down a couple breaths of air, saliva shining on his lips in between the seconds it takes them to come crashing back together.

It's loving enough to rot her teeth with its sweetness, a slow but impossibly deep grinding of their hips together that continually presses the tip of him into that sweet spot inside of her, but it takes a turn.

Not only do her hands shift from his hips up to the sides of his waist to get a firmer hold on him, the kiss starts to become vigorous, almost hungry, in search of something more. The dreamlike sequence of the first moment or so they spent slowly fucking under the warm hues of candlelight starts to unravel to reveal the baser instincts that guide them forward.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he whispers the praise into her mouth.

As soon as the words are said, he can feel the effect it has on her. The hands braced on his waist pull his body closer to her at the same moment that she involuntarily squeezes down around him, making the smooth drag of his cock against the velvet-soft heat of her walls even tighter than he thought possible.

The sudden feeling of it makes his first returning thrust much harder than the last. He jerks forward into her with none of the restraint he's retained for the past few moments, and her reaction is nothing short of perfection, at least from his perspective. He watches her throw her head back in a moan, hips bucking to him in pursuit of more, and feels the tips of her fingernails digging crescent-shaped marks into the unmarred skin along his waist.

"JJ!" she gasps in surprise, and if her initial reaction weren't enough to spur him on in a frenzied state of desire, this is.

He almost forgot how intense it had been the first time. Their confessions of love preceding this made them both somewhat softer and sweeter in their approach when they started, but he knows how she likes it.

Nobody would expect it from her. He's another story entirely, especially considering how much John B and Pope know about him, but her? He didn't have any in depth conversations about it with either of them, so none of their friends know how dirty she is.

But when you start to tease it out of her, she's got a side to her that makes his blood run hot. Considering how polite she is, he sure as hell didn't see it coming. For fuck's sake, she's the kind of person who'll apologize to a chair if she bumps into it. With that in mind he never thought she'd be the type to demand such things of him.

Just like that, with one moan of his name, it's like she flipped a switch in him that they forgot was there in the first place. It'll never stop surprising him how little it takes to get him going when he's with her, and he doesn't see that changing no matter how long they spend together in the future. Just a touch from her is all it takes, so it's needless to say that the sound of her calling out his name was more than enough.

Those slow, deep movements he made to sink into her again and again have turned rapid and rough, but still controlled enough to have a semblance of precision to them, hitting in all the right places.

"I bet," JJ speaks lowly, "that you want John B to walk out and see us right now."

She doesn't want to admit how much of an instantaneous effect those words have on her, but the feeling of her clenching around him as she bites back a moan completely betrays her. Partly, she worries that he'll take that the wrong way and think it has something to do with John B when it has nothing to do with him at all, but he doesn't. For the spare second of thought she's allowed to have before her mind goes hazy again, she notes how much more eager he is on the upstroke of the next thrust.

Noticing how right he was in his assumption about her liking the risk of getting caught jumpstarts his heart and makes everything he does rougher. She can sense that he's starting to lose control over himself and is acting on instinct alone.

It makes her much more sensitive to everything he does, and all she can do is cling to him and enjoy it as she takes in everything he says and does. It's hard to pick one thing to focus on between the switch up in pace and what he said.

"You want John B to know you like getting fucked like a slut, don't you?"

She could get off on the sound of his voice alone. Hearing him say stuff like that kills her, it makes the swirling bliss that builds in the pit of her abdomen with every thrust he gives her triple in its extremity.

Her legs are tightly wound around his hips to keep him as near to her as possible, her hands sliding up around his waist to keep a steady grasp on him while he pounds into her. The rug scratches at her back enough to make it sting alongside the immense pleasure building in her, but she doesn't care. When blended with the good sensations, the pain underscores the addictive feeling of him inside of her, fucking her exactly how she asked him too.

Looking up at him when he's like this is simply unreal. There's no other way of describing it in her eyes except for that. He's so stunning, she's inclined to believe that he isn't even real as a means of explaining it. This shouldn't be real. It should be one of her daydreams while she steals covert stares at him as they hang out with the Pogues, but it isn't. She can't wrap her head around it.

Those strands of hair that were damp from the rain are mostly dry as they fall into his eyes with the force of his movements. The sight of him alone, set aside from the rest of it, is enough to make her writhe beneath him and claw at his back in tandem with another thrust that sends her jolting against the rug.

He takes one of his hands up from where they both held her hips for leverage to weave his fingers into the roots of her hair.

He demands between the panting breaths and moans that flood the limited space between them, tugging on her hair, "Answer me."

She instantly blurts out the words, "I want him to see us." The feeling of him tilting her head back by the fistful of hair he has wrapped up in his hand is her persistent reminder to concentrate enough to continue, and she bites down on her lip to contain a moan before speaking again, "I want him to know..."

Her cheeks burn with the mere thought of it, let alone saying it out loud. He's the only person she'd ever let in on this intimate side of her, the side that makes her crazy when she hears him say stuff like this. The reason she feels so comfortable doing this with him is that she knows he understands her. It's as if he can read her mind without even having to try, knowing exactly what to say and when to say it.

It wouldn't matter if the topic of their exhibitionism were any other Pogue or a stranger, it isn't about who it is, it's about the thrill attached to the concept of almost getting seen during such a heated moment. In all actuality, John B is probably snoring face down into his pillow right now with no care for what's happening out here, but he knows what it does to her when they push the boundaries of decency this way. It's the same rush he gets from stealing random, useless things every so often, it's the thrill of getting away with something.

The hand tangled up in the roots of her hair sneaks down between their colliding bodies to rub her clit, and her mouth drops open to take in a shaky breath.

The sight of her beneath him is undoing in and of itself. Head tilted enough to expose her neck to him, chest rising and falling rapidly with her breaths, and breasts bouncing gently with the momentum of their actions—seeing her this way makes his thrusts ramp up into more of a frenzied, uncontainable pace rather than one with the same control and cadence as before. But it's mostly the eye contact that kills him. She doesn't dare to shut her eyes the entire time, as if she can sense that he'll tell her to look at him again the second she does.

"You want him to know what?" he asks, and she knows he won't let her get away with not saying it.

She whines, utterly helpless to the climax starting to build inside of her, "Please."

What she's pleading for, she isn't quite sure, but he can tell by how she's acting that she's starting to get closer, and he wants nothing more than to tease her with the impending chance of her orgasm.

"If you wanna come, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that."

Just like that, he withdraws his hand from between them and leaves her desperate, blindly grasping for the peak she was so close to reaching, she could almost feel it already.

With JJ rocking into her at a relaxed, slower rhythm, the pleasure hasn't disappeared completely. It's there, but she can sense the feeling of her orgasm receding as quickly as it had creeped up on her as soon as he slips his hand out from between them.

It's instantly clear to him how desperate she is as all of her previous shyness surrounding having to admit this to him out loud withers away in seconds. She isn't beneath begging again at this point. He could tell her to crawl across the floor to him and she'd happily do it for the chance of touching him. It's pathetic but true. As much as she has him wrapped around her finger, he has done the same to her and she isn't afraid to admit it anymore.

Her hips jerk toward him in search of the familiar frenzy they were in before that sent her to the brink of climax, but he is impressively stubborn. Despite the fact that it physically pains him to dial it back again, he tries to keep the signs of his own frustration at bay. She knew what she had to say to get what she wants, so he'll only cave when she does.

This time around, she doesn't give a fuck about how badly she blushes or the voice in the back of her mind telling her she should keep this side of her to herself. This time, the one thing she needs to do to prompt her to open her mouth and speak the dirty words he asked her less than a moment ago is look at him. One second of staring up at him and here she is, driven mad enough to say or do anything to get him to pick up where they left off.

She says between the soft noises and breaths coming from them both, clinging to him through every slow but deep thrust that sends sparks ricocheting through her body, "I want John B to know I like getting fucked like slut." Her voice is breathless, and he hangs off of each word as she pauses, looking up at him with a challenging attitude swirling in those pretty eyes. "So stop being a tease and fuck me like one."

His jaw clenches at the bratty statement, one he's too far gone to resist at this point, and right when he's about to respond to her, she speaks again.

"Either that," she says, and a deceptively sweet smile crosses her kiss-swollen lips, "or I can go ask him to—"

She doesn't even get the chance to voice the rest of that thought before he's set into motion.

The hands on her hips flip her over with such casual strength, all she can do is yelp in surprise at the sudden movement that blurs the living room in her peripheral version until she lands with her hands and knees pressing into the rug. He was so swift in pulling out of her and tossing her onto her front like she was nothing more than a rag doll, she hardly had the time to take a breath before she ended up here.

There's hardly any time between when he pulled out to flip her over and when he returns to her again, but it feels like an eternity for them. The few second transition might as well be a few years as she feels his hands guiding her body where he wants it, pushing down on her back until it arches just so, and falls down onto her arms. But as soon as she gets situated, she feels a pair of hands yanking her arms away from where they were braced against the floor and put them behind her back.

It's only then, when he has an unflinching grasp on where he keeps her wrists behind her back with one of his hands, that she is met with the relief of him sinking into her again.

Y/N's jaw goes slack, and she cries out into the rug that her cheek is pressed into as he gives her no chance to adjust or catch her breath before resuming the brutal pace they kept a moment ago. Mentioning anyone else but him doing this to her was the quickest way to get him to snap, so it's safe to say that she's getting what she wanted. After all, she did what he asked, it's fair that she gets rewarded for it.

Amidst the sounds of the storm waging war on the landscape outside of the house, the one thing she can hear over the buzzing pleasure that drowns out her senses is the sinful blend of sounds they create together. It's the sound of their bodies merging, his name falling from her lips, and the curses he makes under his breath that never fail to drive her a little wild.

The hand that isn't holding her arms behind her slides down the length of her curved back until it wraps around her throat to pin her down, and her reaction is everything he could ask for. Seeing her rock back against him to meet him halfway makes his grip on her wrists tighten enough to turn his knuckles white.

Her hair is spread in endless directions in a fan around her head, and he can only see one side of her face from where he kneels behind her, but that glimpse is more than enough. Brows scrunched in pleasure, mouth dropped open in a gape as soft 'uh's and 'ah's escape her on the upstroke of each thrust—she's a mess right now. A beautiful, perfect mess.

"Oh God, JJ," she moans between her rapid breaths and the strong hand constricting her neck, "I'm so close. Please, just let me come."

It took virtually nothing for her to be pushed right back to the edge of the peak she was at less than a minute ago. It took a mere half-minute of this and she's once again reduced to incoherent pleas for more and shaking with no control over herself. Her legs tremble with the effort to keep herself up in this position, and she isn't even the one doing most of the work. In all fairness, this change in position has made the intensity triple. It's deeper this way, and with how harshly he slams into her, it's as though she can feel it in the base of her abdomen.

It's the enjoyable type of pain, however, not the bad type. It'll surely end up with her being sore tomorrow, but she can't hide how much she loves the painful pleasure of how rough it's getting. Being denied an orgasm when she was so, so close to it was initially disappointing too, but it was worth it. If the build up to what would've been her climax before was a spark, this is a flourishing fire spreading through her with no chance of smothering the flames.

He lets go of her throat and taps the side of her jaw in a silent request that she picks up immediately, letting her lips fall open to suck his fingers into her mouth without a second of hesitation.

The taste of her arousal on them is faint, but still there, and it occurs to her that she thought about this earlier before things evolved into chaos. Her tongue swirls around the tips of his fingers as he starts to pull them away in what feels like the blink of an eye to her, leaving him to remember what it felt like when her lips were once wrapped around a more sensitive part of him a week and a half ago.

The one other time he let himself remember it was when they were on the boat with the Pogues, yet that wasn't really of his own volition. It was hot out, so Kiara bought ice pops for them and his mind wandered far from where it should've stayed.

Shining with her saliva, his fingers are pulled from her lips with a soft 'pop' in pursuit of that sensitive collection of nerves at the apex of her thighs. She just needs is a little push to go over the edge, and when he slips his hand down her body to rub tight circles onto her clit, she loses whatever remnants of control over herself she had left.

The steady rhythm of her hips moving back against him falters as she is overwhelmed with the separate sensations culminating into one and giving her the push she needs to come. Her entire body tenses up in anticipation, and since she's pinned to the floor with her hands behind her back, she can only lay there and savor the feeling as it hits her.

After what felt like ages of having it build and build within her, then having it taken away to start the process over again, finally being given a release is a relief beyond any she's felt before.

It's so consuming, it takes away her ability to think of anything outside of how it feels to dissolve into the shockwaves of euphoria rushing through her. Every pulsing wave is prolonged by him, not even through the peak of it does he let up on his precise touches and unforgiving thrusts into her that turn a typical orgasm into the most intense thing she's ever felt.

She's melting in his arms through it all, and as if the change in position didn't make it worse, her involuntary spasms leave him hanging on by a thread.

JJ collapses onto her, barely having the chance to keep himself propped up on his arms as he lets go of her wrists and falls forward onto her sweat-slick back.

The heat of his panting exhales raises goosebumps in its wake where his face is buried into the curve of her neck, and he whines at the impossibly tight feeling of her squeezing around his cock through the end of her climax. Those sounds he doesn't realize he's making have her writhing through the aftershocks, answering with a sound of her own that almost makes him come instantly.

For that reason, he makes the decision to pull out and flip her onto her back.

At this point, she's so dazed and fucked out that she doesn't register any of it until she notices the hollow absence of him inside of her, but it doesn't matter when his face appears through the partial darkness above her.

Despite how sensitive she is right now, the sight of him makes her hands reach out blindly to pull him closer again. They're frantic in their need to get back to one another, grasping and clawing until he finds his way back to her in less than a second, hiking her legs up around his waist with a touch that is somehow demanding and tender at the same time.

It's only when he's inside of her again that it occurs to her why he rolled her onto her back again, and it makes her want to kiss him until her lips turn numb. It may be undeniably hotter to pin someone down and fuck them hoarse, but, no, that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be able to look at her, to see her face, and the thought of that has her biting back a sudden confession of love. She isn't sure why she doesn't say it right away, since it isn't like they haven't already done it, but she keeps it to herself for a second first.

It's different now. It's not less passionate or frenetic. It isn't as if he isn't being as rough with her as he was before, but they can both sense a shift in the energy between them as soon as he reenters her. It's less about the pursuit of pleasure and more about the feelings they've kept hidden away for so long. It's a simultaneous realization that hits them a little late after they initially confessed their feelings for each other: this is reality. It's real, and when she touches him this time, he isn't going to disappear if she opens her eyes.

The realization of what happened tonight had yet to hit them until right this second, but now that it has, they move forward with a sense of sentimentality that remained partly dormant before.

If there's anything JJ dislikes, it's being vulnerable. The idea of letting someone in to see every part of him, including the parts he doesn't want to see of himself, has always terrified him after years of being made to believe he's undeserving, yet he isn't uncomfortable right now. Somehow, he feels safe with her. Sex has never been something so emotional for him until now, until her, and he doesn't want it differently.

Their bodies are drawn in close, her arms thrown around his neck, and he's so close, he can feel the muscles leading down past his lower abdomen contract with the inevitable approach of his orgasm. She can sense it too in how he acts.

When he gets close, he becomes clingier and lets his feelings get the better of him. His hands squeeze at her hips, sliding up her sides and back down to hike one of her legs up high around his waist to press deeper into her. He can't bear to allow his touch to stay in one place for too long before exploring another part of her, wanting to memorize the delicate intricacies of her body in its entirety.

It's as if she can read his mind too, cause even when she's sensitive enough to gasp when he pushes her thigh to her chest and throws his remaining energy into fucking her at a satisfying pace, she understands what he needs. She knows to reach up and run her fingers through his hair, to tug on it gently until the light strands are taut from his scalp. She knows to lift her head off of the floor enough to trail tender kisses along his face, his jaw, his neck—anywhere she can access.

"Come for me," she says into a kiss placed on the edge of his cheekbone, reeling in overstimulation as she jolts with his quickening thrusts, "I want to watch you..."

Hearing those words, paired with the kisses and fingers pulling on his hair, does it for him. It doesn't take more for his hips to falter and jerk forward into her a final few times before he comes.

Their foreheads press together as they cling to one another for stability, though it's mostly JJ clinging to her while she watches in adoration, and she has to bite her lip to contain a moan at how it feels. The aftershocks of her orgasm have yet to fade as the feeling of pulsing warmth inside of her makes them stronger, reigniting the fire she felt a moment ago if only for a second.

There's a closeness to this situation that they hadn't felt the last time, and they know it has everything to do with what was said before this happened. The sex itself feels like a dream sequence in her mind now that she's coming down from it with him, moving together slowly and gently beneath the candlelight until they ride out the ends of their highs. It was like they were put under a trance by each other, and now that it's over, the first thoughts that come to mind are of what comes next.

It's not the sole topic on their minds though. They're more focused on catching their breath from where they lay, tangled up together, on the living room floor. As soon as the very last of his orgasm faded from him, he fell onto her without a single ounce of energy left to spare. He's careful not to crush her, but, for the most part, he relaxes on top of her and lets his head rest on her heaving chest.

Strong arms slip down to loop around her waist, and she sure that she couldn't get him to release her if she wanted to, which she doesn't.

But they can't stay like this, not for any longer than a few moments anyway, since they don't know how if John B might wake up and come out of the safety of his bedroom after hours of leaving them to their own devices. JJ was right. He's out cold, but for as much as it turned them on in the heat of the moment, neither of them finds getting caught by him as hot with the clarity of their rational minds coming back to them.

He's the one to break the silence.

"As much as I wanna stay like this, we should probably move in case John B wakes up."

The sound of his voice settles in her with the effects of a sedative. It calms her more than anything else could, especially with the added comfort of him cuddling her so closely. One of her hands strokes through his hair and pushes the damp tendrils of sunshine away from his face as he cranes his neck to look up at her. And, for fuck's sake, what else is she to do except admire him?

His cheeks are dusted pink in a way they often are when he spends too much time outside without one of his hats shielding his face, and she thinks he's never looked better.

Ever since they became friends, she's had this theory about him. In the unrealistic landscape of her overactive imagination, JJ didn't come to this world the way the rest of them did. To her, it seems impossible that someone so good, even in his worst moments, could've come from someone like his dad.

So, in idle moments where she would watch him on a day out with the Pogues or daydream about him, she decided that he's the sun.

She imagines he was created in those breathtaking but brief moments where the sun meets the horizon atop the ocean and washes the sky with a vast array of colors. She likes to think he's the incarnation of it. Golden, warm, and bright for everyone but himself, he keeps the world light for her and their friends without intending to.

Some days are warmer than others too. Some days, the light is dimmed by another bruise beneath his clothes or a bad run-in with some kooks, but today is not like that. This moment is eighty-five and sunny with a balmy breeze. Looking at him right now feels like basking in the sun, and she'd burn here forever if he let her.

Without realizing she zoned out, she jolts when he pinches her arm to rouse her from her ridiculous thoughts. He has this dopey half-smile on his face that nearly draws her back into them again.

"You know what they say," he says, "if you take a picture..."

Her soft laughter invades the room, filling his heart with this light, fluttery feeling that always finds him when she's near. His smile grows as she playfully shoves him and reaches above their heads for her wet shirt to cover up with just in case. Odds are, their friend isn't waking up at the exact moment before they seclude themselves to the spare room and get dressed, but she doesn't wanna take that chance.

"I wasn't staring."

She was totally staring. But who could blame her? When someone looks at a person the way he looks at her, how could they ever stay away?

"Whatever you say."

JJ keeps smiling to himself while he pulls his underwear and shorts up his legs and waits for her to be decent enough to sneak past John B's bedroom to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.

The clothes are soaked through with rainwater, so they feel quite uncomfortable to slip back on, but they merely redress enough to be covered. She stole his shirt to avoid putting her shorts back on, the hem of the grey tee hanging right at the tops of her thighs when she walks. As soon as she slips her panties back on and picks up the rest of their cold, wet clothes, that's the cue he needs to scoop her up and take her away.

Y/N curses under her breath in surprise at feeling her feet being plucked off the ground, but she relaxes again once she's settled in his arms, realizing that it was just him who snuck up behind her and lifted her into his arms.

She doesn't say anything on the way to the bathroom. Instead, she lays her head on his shoulder in exhaustion and finds herself staring at the mark she left behind on his neck.

It's a deep, purplish red against the backdrop of his tan skin...the Pogues will surely notice the next time they see him. And while it will make her blush, it won't make her scared as it once would've. There may be a lingering sense of doubt and insecurity within her, but she wants this with him. Even if it means being teased by their friends or dealing with the jealousy of watching kook girls and tourons at parties hit on him, she wants this.

By the time the shower is spraying the rainwater from her hair and washing her clean of sweat sticking to her skin, she realizes that he isn't saying anything either, but she doesn't think it's out of any awkwardness or miscommunication. There's truly nothing to say, at least for now.

Though they didn't have the chance to talk in depth about everything yet, neither of them thinks of that right now. All they know is that they're together, whether it be officially or not, and it feels good. For once, something in his life feels right, and he lets himself enjoy it in silence.

The shower is a cramped space when shared between them and the wet clothes they have draped over the back edge of the tub, but they make it work. It's not like they mind anyway.

They bump into one another whenever they do so much as breathe, and the white walls echo the sounds of her giggling when he tries to tickle her. She leans her head back against his chest and lets out a laugh with shampoo dripping down the front of her face, and he'll be damned if he ever heard a sound as intoxicating as that.

It's a little weird. He's never been as soft and loving with a person before, and he has already felt overwhelmed in the lulls of quiet between them when he's given the chance to think about it.

When she washes his hair for him, insisting that she must return the favor after he so kindly washed hers, he was struck with the same mixture of wanting to simultaneously lean into and pull away from her that he felt the night of the party.

The warmth of the water loosens his sore muscles, washing suds of the green apple scented shampoo over his shoulders and down, down, down until it circles the drain beside his feet. All the while, her fingertips are delicately tracing over a healing bruise on his torso. Those pretty lips of hers are painted in a suppressed frown that she can't hide from him.

"Are you okay?" Y/N asks.

His instant reaction is to fake a smile, to brush it off and distract her as he usually does, yet he doesn't. He forces himself to remain neutral and not push her away.

"Happens all the time," he murmurs, shrugging and averting his eyes to reach for the soap off on the ledge.

The hands holding either side of his waist tighten as he tries to turn, pulling him back to her with more strength than he knew to anticipate from her. Their chests gently collide back together beneath the stream of water, and she can feel his breathing catch for a second or so in response.

The fact that their relationship has changed doesn't change how she handles this aspect of his life. Their new confessions don't have an impact on the part of his life he never wants to let anyone see, so she isn't going to force him to talk about it because they're trying out this whole relationship thing now. He has hard boundaries that she knows not to push sometimes. That's the way it is, and it might change as they grow closer but she knows to accept it for the moment.

As soon as he hears what she has to say next, he could crumble in relief at the realization that their new dynamic doesn't change anything.

"I didn't necessarily mean...that...I meant generally, you know? It's just that—" she sighs, "you shrink away a little when I hold you, and I wondered if I was making you uncomfortable."

Before she could finish the sentence, JJ was already thinking of what to say to prove her wrong, because that's not it. That's not what it is, and if she thinks she's done anything wrong, he'll do anything to convince her otherwise because it isn't her. It's him.

It's his dad lingering in the darker trenches of his mind, commanding his fear and attention so that even when he isn't physically present, he's still here. Part of why he denied wanting her was because he knew these types of things would arise in the beginning, that there would be difficult adjustments to make and conversations to be had, and he didn't want her to leave him as soon as she was faced with one of these things.

He shakes his head.

"You didn't do anything."

The feeing of her chest rising and falling with his begins to steady him after a moment of allowing the initial hesitation to dissolve. His internal reaction to her touch is the mental incarnation of a flinch. It's him waiting for the other shoe to drop and expecting her to do something, to hurt him, before his mind catches up with his heart. But once he realizes everything's okay, he loves it.

"It's kinda embarrassing, but I guess when you touch me, I'm expecting something else," he says softly, scared that if he speaks too loudly, everyone in the world will know how weak he feels.

She should've figured, but hearing him say it is different than wondering what the reasoning behind it is. Hearing him admit it after months of strict avoidance on the topic is a sucker punch to the gut.

Both times they had sex, he was too distracted and thoughtless to get caught up in that part of himself, but it's when the bliss of the afterglow disappears that it creeps back in. That's why he could always handle touch when it came in that context. It was his way of obtaining what he wanted without having to face this side of it—a temporary fix to a greater web of issues.

But there's nothing temporary about her. He doesn't want her to leave him, not without him resisting the urge to beg her on his knees to stay and at least remain his friend, so there's no choice but to face these momentary challenges head on.

She pauses for a second, thinking, then says, "You don't have to be embarrassed about it, I get it. We'll just have to take it day by day then. We can take it slow, and you'll let me know if it gets to be too much, okay?"

It's hard not to be shocked by how well she's taking it. A lot of people probably wouldn't feel too great after someone they love tells them they expect to be hit whenever they touch them, yet she's taking it in stride.

Things are back to normal as soon as she sees the grin on his face.

"So, you're saying you're gonna be trying not to throw yourself at me all the time?" JJ asks, then clicks his tongue as though in thought. "I give you a week. Tops."

Her eyes go wide as she looks at him. She holds her hand over her heart as she pretends to be scandalized by such an accusation, but they know it's true. They both can't keep their hands off of one another, which is why it confuses him. How can he want to reject and enjoy her touch at the same time? Sure, the discomfort disappears after the first split-second, but the fact that it happens in the first place annoys him to no end.

She rolls her eyes and tries to hide the fact that she's giggling as she reaches for the soap.

"You're a little shit, you know that?"

He doesn't miss a beat, saying back, "Yeah but I'm your little shit, so I feel like that says more about you than it does me."

While he's too busy rinsing the rest of the shampoo out of his hair, she smiles to herself at what he said.

Hers.

Nobody has ever been hers before, or proclaimed themselves as belonging to her as proudly and casually as he just did, and her heart melts over the sweet sentiment he didn't think twice about.

Less than a day ago, she was agonizing over her relationship with him and trying to ignore how powerful those feelings for him were, and now they're here. She no longer has to steal glances when he looks away or hide how jealous she feels when other girls flirt with him. To finally let the tension disappear is an immense weight off of her shoulders.

The rest of the shower is as quiet as the start of it was, and that comfortable silence continues through from when they're drying off and redressing to when they hit the mattress in the spare bedroom with tired sighs.

After the day they had, the mere suggestion of sleep is enough to make them start yawning, so being able to slip beneath the sheets and rest their heads almost sings her to sleep instantly.

Their bodies are laying in the exact outlines of where they laid the night of the party, the only difference this time being their mindsets. This time around, they aren't holding themselves back from anything, and it's most evident in the little things. Like how she doesn't turn around to shield her face from him, instead laying with her head propped on the other end of his favorite pillow.

They're so close, their noses brush if they make any slight movements, and this would be enough for him to submit to the urge to drift into sleep if not for the fact that he feels her jolt when thunder rumbles loudly outside of the window.

Much like his own fears being pushed to the side amidst their desire for each other, her anxiety about the storm wasn't on her mind until they laid down to sleep.

She was so wrapped up in him and everything that happened between them that she didn't have the time to think again until now, until she hears the violent patter of rain against the roof and feels her stomach drop at the sound of the thunder. Suddenly, she's not the one reassuring him about his fearful reactions, it's the other way around.

His warm hand takes hers, snatching it up as though he's worried it'll disappear if he doesn't take it quickly enough, and she lets him. Her eyes flutter shut with the release of a slow, deep breath, and she lets the presence of his hand in hers bring her back to earth.

JJ asks into the darkness, "Can I take you out on a real date?" After a beat of silence, the comforting sound of his voice returns to her. "Not that this isn't fun, but I think you deserve a little more effort than John B's living room floor."

A short-lived chuckle escapes her—a win as far as he's concerned. It's difficult to lure her head from the clouds when she gets this way, and it isn't like he has much experience with calming her during these moments either, but that sounded good to him. It sounded like she wasn't thinking about the increased pace of her heart or the howling wind outside.

He was planning on asking anyway. However fitting of a first night together this was, he wants to take her out for real sometime soon. He doesn't have much money for it, like at all, but they can come up with something special together, even if it's similar to the same shit they usually do together. As long as it's time alone together, they don't necessarily care if it's a perfectly traditional first date.

The tip of his thumb rubs comforting circles onto the back of her hand in the brief time it takes her to respond, stroking the soft skin as if to tell her that everything's okay. It seems to say, I'm right here. Nothing can hurt you. And it might make her crazy, but she believes him. JJ could take her back out into the eye of the hurricane at this very moment and she'd still believe his unspoken promise of not letting her into harm's way.

"Of course," she says, then pauses, and the sound of her sleepy voice hardly reaches his ears when she speaks again, "...I'm sorry I avoided you for the past few days. I was scared to tell you how I felt but I shouldn't have left that morning."

The memory of waking up in his arms is fresh in the forefront of her mind, so much so that she can remember the way his breath felt where it exhaled in warm puffs onto her skin.

In the first few moments of consciousness, it was peaceful.

She laid awake for a minute or two to count his breaths and soak in the comfort of being cuddled up next to him, wishing she could stay there for hours. It wasn't until another moment passed that it clicked with her where she was and what was going on between them recently, and that was what prompted her to slip away from the bed to get ready for her day at work.

It was the second time in a row that she left him in that bed with nothing to wake up to but the cold absence of her body between the sheets he slept under, and he can't deny that it's part of why he holds onto her hand so tightly tonight. Even though she's promised him otherwise, he can't help but think she'll be gone by the time he wakes up. At this point, he's struggling to stay conscious. She can see those pretty eyes drooping more and more by the second, yet the hand holding hers doesn't loosen its grip.

He takes a deep breath and scoots closer to her, keeping his one hand in hers while the other arm drapes itself over her waist, and he can feel her relax into the touch.

"It's okay," he says.

It's easier for him to adjust to so much physical contact when he's the one initiating. He knows that's why she only reached out to hold his hand. If she had it her way, she would've already been cuddling with him as soon as they laid down, but he likes that she gives him the space to initiate it. In the ways it counts the most, she cares about him more than anyone else has.

The touch in itself is his way of accepting her apology. However, truth be told, he already forgave her for it before knowing his love was reciprocated could be a possibility.

Right when she's about to fall asleep, the screen door slamming open and shut with the wind on the back porch makes her whip her head around to look over her shoulder in the direction of the sound. It seems like every time he successfully distracts her from it, the storm finds new ways of reminding her of what's happening outside of the safety of the Chateau.

There's the sound of a barely audible, sharp inhale, then her whispering into the dark room as she looks at the closed door, "I can't believe I went out into that. What the fuck was I thinking?"

It's beginning to close in on her again; the sounds of the storm, the sense of being trapped no matter how safe they truly are, and the rising tidal wave of anxiety that picks up speed the more she tries to will it to stop. This is the part where she tries to relieve it in some way, usually by smoking weed to sleep or going to one of her parents so they can help her through it, but she can't help herself right now.

Debris was being picked and tossed around in the wind like it weighed nothing when she was out there, she could've been knocked into the marsh or struck by a piece of debris.

How could she be so stupid?

Not only could she have hurt herself, she could've hurt JJ knowing that he'd likely follow her out into the storm to bring her back inside, and the thought of him being hurt makes the tension in her chest heavier. Her breathing picks up speed, the anxiety starting to snowball out of control when—

"Hey, look at me," JJ says, reaching up to turn her head to face him, and she damn near crumbles in relief at feeling his hand cup her cheek. It doesn't make it all disappear, but it provides a momentary comfort that she doesn't take for granted. "You're safe here. You know damn well I'll do anything to protect you. I mean, shit, dude, if I have to go out there and tell that rain to fuck off, I will."

This draws out a laugh from her, chest stuttering with the happy sound through the tears glistening in her eyes, and he never wants to stop hearing it. His thumb swipes away the first teardrop that falls before it can slip over the apples of her cheeks. I'm Her quiet cries and shaky breaths continue for a while after the laughter disappears. For a second or two, he watches with his thumb still wiping her tears away and hopes that it'll be enough to comfort her, but it can't do it completely.

He pulls away from her to get up from the bed with an idea popping into his mind, but upon hearing her whine at the loss of contact with him, he pauses to say, "I'll be back quick, don't worry."

The remaining humorous side of her left wonders if he's actually gonna go tell the rain to fuck off, but he's just opening the bedroom door to trot out into the living room.

A candle burning on the coffee table illuminates the space for him, guiding him straight to the forgotten backpack she left slumped against the arm of the couch hours before their relationship was changed for the better. It takes him an instant to get there and back with the bag in hand, and he's digging through it for a second before climbing back into bed with her.

If anyone else rifled through her bag, sifted through her personal belongings, and dug her phone out of it, she'd probably be annoyed, but she never is with him. She's inherently protective of her things, but JJ can do whatever he wants and it has always been that way. It should've been the first warning of what was to come.

He pulls the sheet back over his body and scoots up close to her, trying to resist the urge to retreat at first when he maneuvers her to lay with her head on his shoulder. It should trigger the flight or fight response that often alarms in his head, but he's able to push it away.

She's so vulnerable right now, so gentle and in need of the warmth of another person that he isn't as intimidated. It's not that she couldn't hurt him if she wanted to right now, she could, but he knows her. He knows that the last thing she'd ever want to do is hurt him, so he has to remind himself of that and give himself the permission to enjoy the physical intimacy of her touch. The part of him that questions if he even deserves it can't reach him now, not when he's so focused on her.

"Thumb?" he asks with the phone held out expectantly.

The screen is less than two inches from her face, so she has to push it back slightly, but she flattens her thumb to the button without further hesitation.

When he unwraps the pair of headphones from around the palm of his hand and plugs them into the charging port, she realizes why he left in the first place.

When she was facing away from him, eyes shut and headphones in to distract herself with music earlier, he was stealing glances at her every so often. He tried to keep away from her for the most part. It was difficult though, especially knowing what she said about being jealous the night of the party and knowing how scared she was of the hurricane. He couldn't help but keep an eye on her, for both his own selfish needs and his worry for her.

He keeps an arm tucked around her, pressing her body into his while he pops one of the headphones into her ear and the other into his. The thing is, her eyes aren't trained on the screen like his are once he starts looking through her vast collection of not-so-legally acquired music for a song that suits both of their tastes, they're trained on him.

Their taste in music tends to diverge in certain ways and overlap in others, so there's always a fifty/fifty shot of him liking what she plays when she's the one picking the music. That is why he smiles to himself and halts the endless scrolling in its tracks to hover his thumb over one song.

He obviously heard it before she played it that one time, but it's different for him now. They were riding together in the backseat of the Twinkie on the way to the beach with John B, Kie, and Pope when they let her take her turn to play a song.

That's how it is with them, the driver goes first, then it goes to the front seat passenger, and so on and so on until they make their way back to the beginning of the rotation. It was her turn when she picked this song, and it could've been the song, or the sunset shining through the window, but he felt as though his heart exploded when he looked at her in the middle of it.

He remembers feeling confused, confused as to why he couldn't catch his breath and why he suddenly adored the song he only heard casually a couple of times.

It was her. It was everything about her. The soft hum of her voice murmuring the lyrics, too shy to actually sing them in the presence of anyone else, was too delicate for the others to appreciate over the sounds of the van. He heard it though. He clung to it and admired her, so unashamed in his staring that he didn't realize he was doing it. It wasn't until she noticed that he stopped.

"Do I still have ice cream on my face or something?"

Her fingers came up to wipe at the corner over her mouth, and the action sent him turning his attention away quicker than he knew he could move, pulling the lighter out of his pocket to fiddle with as he mumbled, "Yeah, but you got it off now."

The cheery melody of Just Like Heaven bursts out of each headphone into their ears.

How did he know? How is he constantly reading her mind without realizing it?

This was her first song on the couch that she couldn't stand to sit through without thinking, naturally, of him when confronted with the topic of love. Somehow, it's like he knew that, and instead of feeling exposed and scared he'll know her feelings like before, she feels loved.

She is never skipping this song again.

"Go to sleep," he murmurs, clicking the screen off and resting it on his stomach.

It takes him a short thirty seconds to fall into an easy, calm pattern of breathing that tells her he isn't asleep, but soon will be. But she's fighting her sleepiness to continue looking at him. His eyes are fluttered shut, hair messy on the pillow, and she'd want to reach up to kiss him if he weren't trying to fall asleep.

Instead, she settles for matching her quickened breaths to the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath her hand and shuts her eyes along with him.

By the time the song reaches its end, she thinks he's asleep, but she still whispers, "Thank you," and feels his arm squeeze around her body in response.

The next songs fade into white noise at this point for her, drowning out the storm to the point where she begins to forget it's happening out there.

Maybe they can be each other's safe place when things get rough. After all, he handled this wonderfully considering his lack of experience with her anxiety and she never pushes him on his plethora of unsorted issues, even when she wants so badly to be the one to initiate the touch.

She never makes him think she pities him, or wants to "fix" him like so many partners with savior complexes who will never try to understand how it feels often do in these situations. With each other, maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated anymore, even when they have those inevitable arguments here or there.

The last thing he does before allowing himself to be dragged under is brush his lips on her forehead in a tender kiss. And when he eventually wakes to the rising sun shining through the windows in the aftermath of the violent hurricane, she's still there.

Tag List: @jjjmaybank, @its-simply-fanfiction, @naughtydild0swaggins.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank smut #outer banks #obx s2 #obx #fanfiction