#YES THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED

[sp1c3-r4ck-synd1c4t3]

i was explaining my sexuality to my coworkers abt how im both asexual and into kink culture, and after a minute my coworker said "Oh! It's like, you don't play the FNaF games, but you like the lore!" and i haven't recovered

#asexual #fnaf #yes this actually happened

[sleepis4theweak]

This is how I got my reputation as the chill one in the group...

(I was concerned of course, but I mean she was there... fine... and I assumed they were gonna continue with the story so I had 0 reaction)

#tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt mikey #tmnt raphael #tmnt donnie #tmnt leo #yes this actually happened #but my friend did tell people obv... I just had to make it fit with the brothers lol #sleepy art

[silvermun]

just typical gawain and lancelot endeavours

#doodle #satbk sir lancelot #satbk sir gawain #specially dedicated for Rook LOL this story always makes me laugh #yes this actually happened

[dragonpyre]

There's advanced reading group in elementary school and then there's "you and literally one other kid get sent to a study room to read a high school level book" reading group.

And then you wonder why I'm so high achieving...

#yes this actually happened #in 5th grade me and other other kid got sent to a room with three other kids from the WHOLE school #to read boring high school books #they were still too easy btw #but yeah now I have crippling anxiety and am burnt out! #text post #gifted kid syndrome #gifted kid things

[spacewr3ck51]

Mulder: it sounds to me like that's witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you're looking for there.

Scully: No I don't think it's witchcraft, Mulder, or sorcery. I've had a look around, and I don't see any evidence of anything that warrants that kind of suspicion.

Mulder: Yeah, well, maybe you don't know what you're looking for.

Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo pagan practice, charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?

Mulder: Scully...

Scully: Yes?

Mulder: Marry me.

Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.

#yes this actually happened #x files #s5 e10

[locomotive-idiot]

goin for a swim brb

blub,, glub,bg,,

#trains #trainposting #train propaganda #locomotives #Southern pacific #EMD GP9 #yes this actually happened #this swim is very refreshing #blub #glub #am fish #diesel locomotive #? #wrong #boat

[fanonical]

fandom: hey, let's make up an oc to use in our fic! fandom: ...wait, they seriously didn't make our collective oc canon? fandom: this show fucking sucks

#Fanfic #Fanfiction #Fandom #Yes this actually happened #It was Sherlock and the character was Sebastian Moran

[protect-daniel-james]

Ha ha ha ha!

#yes this actually happened #lampardverse #it's always ayia napa #frank lampard #jamie redknapp #jamie jamie cousin jamie. everyone knows what franko did but - what did YOU do in ayia napa?

[lumellow]

actually i think love is opening a funny post my bf sent me then immediately forgetting he sent it and sending it right back to him

#love is stored in the post-sharing #yes this actually happened #i am not the smartest person around

[iammoonyschild]

marauders era as convos I've had with my brother pt. 1

Sirius: *Sends Regulus a picture of his debit card*

Regulus: YOU BETTER NOT BE USING MY DEBIT CARD

Sirius: I'm not

Sirius: I just put it in my group chat

Regulus: You better be kidding

Sirius: I am

#sirius was in fact not kidding #yes this actually happened #marauders #harry potter #sirius black #sirius orion black #regulus black #regulus arcturus black #sirius and regulus #regulus and sirius #black brothers

[creamvolts]

Deciding to tell yall a secret

When i was a younger i ate a half a bag of bacon flavoured dog treats because my older cousin said they were snacks. They looked nothing like any snack ive seen but i ate most of them anyway because mmm bacon. There were at least 7 left before my aunt came in and took the bag away.

The lesson here is: check the packaging.

#voltage rambles #Yes this actually happened #i dont know why i didnt question it #cousins r evil

[ireadwaytoomuchitsunhealthy]

"wow your english is really good"

well yeah, i'm gay and european it's the only thing i'm good at.

#european #europe #yes this actually happened #this is exactly how it went #lgbtq #bisexual #italy #books #aesthetic #books and literature #chaotic academia #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark academia #dark academia quotes #librarylife #literature #light academia

[piastricism]

pierre: *calls charles*

charles, answering the phone: hello?

pierre: i'll call you back later okay?

pierre: *hangs up*

charles: ?????

#formula 1 #f1 #incorrect quotes #incorrect f1 quotes #incorrect formula 1 #pierre gasly #charles leclerc #source: me #this isnt even the weirdest conversation ive had over the phone #yes this actually happened #i was as confused as you are

[sncwonthebeach]

me, messing with the oujia board whilst watching @wearewatcher

the board: THE-TALL-ONE-ANNOYS-ME

me, unphased at this point: "he tends to have that effect on people"

#ryan bergara #watcher network #we are watcher #shane madej #dish granted #too many spirits #locked away in the ghost files #ghost files #YES THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED #AND YES I DID ASK FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS #the ghoul boys #ghoul boys #puppet university #welcome to puppet history #puppet history

[an-theduckin]

Me: I should probably write more of Mark fanfic. Or write another twomp oneshot!-

My brain: write a dramatic short story about a bacteria who watched all his friends get killed by antibiotics and then become antibiotic resistant to get revenge

#an_theduckin #my text post #ao3 fanfiction #ao3 writer #writblr #yes this actually happened #if this gets 2 dislikes ill post it

[kaylakenobi]

Pt. 2 of weird things me and my friends have said as Star Wars characters:

.

Obi-Wan: You're leading us astray just like Satan

.

Luke: This is why we need Jesus, because we don't know where we're going. And we're gay.

.

Anakin: Jesus died so I should die too

.

Sabine: This men thing doesn't seem to be working

.

Han: You should be honored to get infected by me

.

Chopper: repent ye repent ye for ye are gay

.

Anakin: Hey I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm doing it anyway

.

Ahsoka: I don't have a train of thought, it's more like a car crash of thought

.

Anakin: I would put Florence in danger but I would never purposefully hurt Florence

.

Leia: I'm definitely not lying straight to your face.

.

Zeb: it's just a big ol' illegal family.

.

Obi-Wan: *sigh* if only hitting my elbow on a bench would kill me.

.

Caleb: I have no F's and one D!

Ahsoka: Thats what she said.

Caleb: ShUt Up

.

Rex: If I have to eat then you have to eat

.

R2-D2: who needs to cleanse the bad vibes when you can make them

.

Obi-Wan: did you fix your shoe?

Anakin: Yes.

Obi-Wan: does it feel better?

Anakin: ... No.

.

Anakin: I should be charged for attempted manslaughter, not abuse. There is a difference and you need to get it right.

.

Hera: I will smack you upside the head eith your own book.

.

Ezra: I WILL UNTIE YOUR SHOELACES

.

Han: I wish this chocolate milk had drugs in it

.

Cody: Let's see what damage we have sustained today.

.

Mon Mothma: I swear they can come up with any excuse they want I’ll just uno reverse their ass

.

Obi-Wan: NO COMMITING SEWER SLIDE ON LIVE TELEVISION

.

Anakin: I can barely remember to brush my teeth, I can't run a country

.

Cassian: Why be vibing when I can be dying

.

Padme: this car makes us late I'm gonna kill myself

Sabe: me too

Padme: aww no you can't kill yourself

.

Sabine: So I have a conspiracy theory that you're Remy the rat from ratatouille

.

Sabine: Look it's a twink

Ezra: I wear a crop one time and I get called a whore

.

Kanan: some people do the deed, I do the die

.

Luke: I'm only gay for my friends.... that are guys

.

Anakin: My response to that entirely depends on whether you are going to shoot me or yourself

Obi wan: I haven't decided yet, maybe both

.

Echo: *sees fives trip and fall into a wall* are you okay?

Fives: Shut up, you interrupted me seducing the wall

.

Rex walking into the 501st laying crystals on the floor in a circle: Pick up your cult we have work to do

.

Ahsoka: How do you know?

Anakin: Megamind told me in a dream

Ahsoka: .... good enough for me

#yes this actually happened #incorrect star wars quotes #weird things me and my friends have said #star wars #anakin skywalker #garazeb orrelios #sabine wren #ezra bridger #hera syndulla #chopper #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #Luke skywalker #leia organa #padme amidala #han solo #rex star wars #caleb dume #r2d2droid #cody clone wars #echo the bad batch #echo clone wars #fives clone wars #cassian andor #mon mothma