#acotar secret snowflake | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

illyrian-lover-flower · 3 years

Text

Dance away the stars with me

So, @autophobiaxx - this is your last gift from me. I hope you enjoyed the former two, because I loved writing them.

I don’t know about you, but I really loved this project and it was my pleasure to write for you.

Also about this one - I tried to go with the ‘And they were roommates’, but looks like it turned into sharing a bed kind of fic.

Anyway I wish you a lot of fun with this one.

Also, have a splendid end of the year😘

Elain felt tired out, a heavy weight pushing down her petite shoulders as she stood in the corner of Vassa’s ballroom.

Her friend having flown personally across the sea, to deliver this letter of invitation to her.

A bright smile that lit up the night as her burning form vanished into the one of the fiery queen in front of Elain.

Those bright red curls of her hair dancing around the queen, like a fire itself. Wild untamed eyes beaming happily at her. Ignoring all her naked glory with which she stood in Elain’s garden. Luckily the inhabitants of the house were still too preoccupied to notice her arrival, letting them have their time until Vassa was at least covered by a cloak.

Declaring in this strong rumbling voice of hers, that there would soon be a grand Solstice ball hosted at her castle. Also telling the seer that she would not take a ‘no’ for an answer, while she already started to twirl and dance with Elain in the garden.

Spinning happily without a care, that the soft cloak didn’t cover as much anymore as it should. Dancing in wide circles along with Elain’s purple dress while nature watched. Occasionally did a fae walk by, but the smell of Vassa’s curse - the scent of burning and crackling magic- seemed to fully taint her human scent.

Making most of the fae smile with shaking heads, thinking that a friend –or lover- came to enjoy some time with the friendly seer.

And indeed, they did have a wonderful time. Those ocean blue eyes of the queen brimming over with happiness as she declared in a proud voice – it was the first Solstice ball since, well, centuries. Elain smiled at her friend as she kept rambling on about how she had searched the library, for books when the last Solstice ball was.

But she meant that their documentations didn’t reach that far back, so she sadly couldn't give Elain a real feeling of what expanse of time passed.

It were such moments, in which she questioned Vassa’s age. Not quite aware how her curse affected her aging progress. As this knowing look was often witnessable in her eyes.

Talking of ancient parties, banquets, former human festivities and so on. Vassa awfully liked to talk about the festivities the mortals once had – describing her so vigorously how they were decorated, how the food tasted and was arranged while she often complained about the dances and the stiff spines of the humans.

She should have believed Vassa more. Was all Elain could think as she stood silently in the corner of the wide ballroom. Candles, bonds and greenery painting the atmosphere of the hall in a calm solstice spirit, while she only watched.

Spines of both, women and men, completely stiff as they swirled around with their partner. Flowing skirts twirling in circles while the loud fake giggles of the women rang in her pointed ears – which she didn’t even bother to hide anymore.

All in all, Elain had thought she had forgone hiding long ago. But as she swallowed up the space in the shadow of Vassa’s throne, it seemed like someone wanted to prove her otherwise.

Though nothing in her made even the slightest move of peeking up and having the urge to go to the dance floor. No, the last urge to do that had been more than two hours ago and she would not have that disaster again.

Would not have another man growing stiff while she asked for a dance. The mortals all used to the man asking his chosen companion, while she would wait for an invitation – the rest of the night if she had to.

Elain really couldn’t think about a single reason why she once loved these blinding balls. Sticky air attached to her porcelain skin, loud laughter ringing in her ear, as someone finally opened a window. A groan escaped her as the first complain of a woman already echoed over to her pointed ears.

She really would have loved to go outside- to get some fresh air, admiring Vassa’s gardens. But the seer was well aware to the looks that rested upon her petite shoulders.

As if the heavy sheet of midnight velvet, attached to her pale blue gown wasn’t enough weight on her.

It had been so long since she last wore something that closed off. The skin on her shoulders thankful for the cold metal of the needles, that rested on each of them as they held her trail attached there.

The as mistletoe decorated ornaments sparkling in the warm light of the room. The golden hue getting captured in the hundreds of small emeralds and the two big rubies. Dancing and chasing each other in the glittering realm on her shoulders.

While she stood stiff as a salt pillar.

A kind smile on her lips, but a faraway gaze in her eyes as she listened into the conversations that took place on the polished white marble floor. The humans all whispered.

Hushed voices flying around the room, trying to keep their shushed indignation away from her prying pointed ears.

Though they seemed to forget about the two males that twirled on the dance floor and also listened in on their conversations. Day and night transforming the ballroom into a scenery of beauty.

The one, bright as the sun, dancing with his queen in his arms. Love and faithfulness to her written in his eyes. While the other one, dark as night, twirled on the dancefloor with various women.

A kind smile on his lips as he picked his next victim to interrogate. Each one of his companions fearing, but also adoring him while they got silent information's sucked away from their very own body language.

Elain didn’t really like that Azriel had danced all night with every woman in the hall, just not her. But she knew of the reason.

Knew that he was here for a reason after all.

Feyre was sceptical about Elain’s visit. All alone in a realm full of sceptical and hate withered humans. So, it had been a relief for her younger sister when Elain told her she would ask Azriel if he would join her.

The High Lady of the Night court doubted that the broody shadowsinger would volunteer to go with her into the mortal realms. Surprise lining her features as she found him and Elain ready on the roof.

Deaf to the quiet language the seer spoke with him.

He knew it was a onetime opportunity to gather information. Vassa’s silent smirk the entire evening, was also prove that her ulterior motive wasn’t a calm and boring ball. She gave both of them an opportunity to gather information from the kingdoms, that had betrayed her so cold heartedly.

While she had Elain’s help by her side with Koschei.

‘One hand washes the other.’ meant Vassa, but Elain knew that her fiery friend would have loved to help her, even without her help depending on the one that cursed her.

This dangerous gleam in Vassa’s eyes something most had overlooked tonight as they greeted her. Guest for guest – kingdom for kingdom- bowing down in front of her.

Jurian, as well as Lucien, shared the same kind but tiny devilish smirk with their friend the entire evening. Watching with delight how the seer and the shadowsinger of the Night court silently interrogated those who betrayed Vassa’s kingdom.

Plotting out their fall, like a silent cloud of death creeping up to them.

“You seem to have a lot of fun tonight.” stated Jurian with an amused look, as he extended a hand to her. She took it gladly. A small honest smile spreading as her friend had approached her silently.

Though she could not help the silent wish in her head, a hissing scolding following soon while her hand rested calmly in his.

‘Wrong!’ hissed this voice inside her. His hands felt so wrong.

Jurian seemed to notice her pained train of thoughts as he chuckled quietly. “Sorry, I am not quiet the one you hoped I would be.” a blush crept up her cheeks – hopefully it was just the warmth of the room. And not the thought of a certain shadowsinger.

Not the ghosting feeling, on her hands, of his scars. Her petite fingers having long mesmerized each scar that was printed into his gentle hands.

“I don’t know who you are talking about.” was all she could mumble as Jurian kept twirling them over the marble floor, that mirrored each of their movements.

“How is my bet going?” she asked him out of the blue as he chuckled at her innocent reply. This soaring mind of hers trying to get her attention off of those fussy feelings inside her chest.

Those sensitive ears also needing something different to listen to than the too loud notes of flutes and mother knows what.

“Better than mine.” was all he growled out. His warm brown eyes immediately looking above her head and into the direction of his friends. Which twirled without a care along the music – showing the humans that no one needed to fear those oh so blood thirsty creatures.

Elain looked up at him with questioning eyes “You have another bet?” “Exactly.” was all he answered smugly as he twirled her out on one hand.

“You wound me Jurian. I thought I was the only one you bet with.” her eyes brimmed with laughter as he pulled her close again, not too close. Even his human mind was aware to the piercing eyes of the shadowsinger on his back.

The two main reasons as to why he had a bet with Vassa in the first place. Two at the moment to be exact. One containing their visit this week, while the other would most likely last for a long term. Jurian groaned a bit in pain at the mere thought of it. ‘Hopefully I am going to see the end of this before I die!’ was all he could think of.

After all, those two were good when it came to dancing. Mostly when it came to dancing around each other. Always a back and forth of twirling skirts and hissing shadows as they reached out for each other whenever the other one withdrew. An everlasting circle of day and night.

“I can’t bet with you on this one.”

Elain’s worried eyes had him chuckling. This fae female seemed to always fear for the worst – thoughts of a next battle and bloodshed probably preoccupying this thoughtful mind of hers already again.

A thoughtful mind he respected, but feared at times.

Jurian was well aware to the strength of her sisters. One blessed with the seven powers of the courts, respected in each of them and the other fierce and strongheaded. Setting the Illyrians in the camps under turmoil at the moment.

And while both had plenty of strength, making everyone believe that there was nothing as such left for their sister – they lacked kindness and understanding. One having at least a bit of it, for those who she loved while the other did know nothing about mercy.

They both lacked the calm political abilities of their middle sister.

The silent scale no one knew about.

Elain had grown up happily among the humans, had been a master at feeding lies and spinning nets of a twisted truths, that only contained scrums of what it really was. She was an honest soul, but prettying up the truth was something she had been skilled in since years.

This sharp mind of hers, able to read humans just as well as fae with just an innocent look of from her eyes. The dangerous gleam in her them, hidden faraway in the facet of a deep caramel, was something no one had noticed until now.

Her sisters unable to see a dangerous side of her.

Jurian had started seeing Elain as a scale the moment she first stepped into these halls.

Those knowing innocent eyes resting on him with a sharpness, that could cut bones. Assessing – predicting- his next actions as her eyes started to cloak themselves. Those few minutes which she had spent in the realms of the future, were worse than any battle he had fought upon.

His mind growing well aware of the blood that would always stick to his hands. Innocent blood among it.

But as the seer returned, she bowed her head in respect at all three of them. Her eyes having seen something that made her believe in him, something only few did at this time.

And without even realizing it, did a deep friendship form.

One her sisters probably didn’t even know existed. Thinking it hurt her whenever Vassa called upon her abilities, acting cold and icy around them while she opened up to the female she should have feared.

Her burning heart should have feared of the possibility that Lucien could still gift his love to the fawn and not the phoenix.

But it was obvious. His decision was as clear as day written across his face, whenever he watched the queen. Elain having long known of his future path while she seemed oblivious to her own.

Kind jokes and a few glasses of wine, Jurian shared in silence with her. making them bond over various things. It was refreshing whenever Elain came to visit them. Accompanying him on his third-wheeling as they silently betted in the background how long it would take for the two to finally knock it off.

Elain betted on many things, a trait she had picked up from her family, he found out. But Jurian was sure to mention the condition of no peeking into the future whenever they started a bet.

She had grown well into her powers after all. Not even the cryptic visions bothered her anymore. And it relieved her, the control she had now, easing her shoulders, whenever he saw her, a bit more.

“Have you found out anything yet?” whispered Jurian down to her. Humans might not have such sensitive ears like fae, but they had their ways of sneaking around.

Elain shook her head, a dramatic sigh on her rosy painted lips as she eyed the ball room discreetly again “No, not yet. The one I had danced with before could have also been dead – though I do thing a dead body spoke more than his. And the rest of these people are complaining about Azriel’s, Lucien’s and my presence on this human ball.”

The former general sighed in defeat as a little smirk played along her lips “Some are even thinking you should go with us. After all, you are such a foolish man that lay his heart in those ungrateful hands of this intoxicating creature. “

“I think if that would ever happen, I would already have it pierced on a dagger.” was all he could mumble. His memories showing him with shivering intensity the death stare of death incarnate. The shadowsinger not entirely able to hide this quiet rage inside him, whenever he noticed someone had bad intentions with the fawn.

Trying to hide her away from cruelty, drooling stares, torture and mother knows what. Though he recently started to relax more, a proud smile on his lips whenever this quiet female was able to send a male off - only with a cold spoken word and hard eyes.

It wondered Jurian the last time he witnessed it.

But apparently, there were many things that wondered him over the months he had gotten to know these two. Having been the third wheel for already quite a while, he knew for what he needed to search in someone's eyes when two hearts seemed to beat in sync.

Knew of the adoration, the trust, the respect and everything else, that lay in someone's eyes if they truly loved someone. And apparently whenever Azriel and Elain turned their back at each other, one of them always turned around.

Looking at their loved one with wide eyes that brimmed over with love. It was a clear mystery to him how they were even able to hide these emotions.

It wondered him how the shadowsinger and the fawn were able to tear their heart’s apart, while they only wanted to be together. Those feelings that were strained between them, even seeable to his human eyes.

But Elain never knew what his innuendos indicated, when he tried to tell her about the deep bond, she had with the shadowsinger. Mother above – she was the one that always complained to him whenever Lucien or Vassa didn’t get a hint, while she wasn’t any better herself.

Though lately Lucien and Vassa seemed to get each other more, seemed to spend more time with each other while they laughed at things Jurian and Elain had no clue of. The knowing smile on their silent companions' lips always something that threw Vassa and Lucien off, when they sat at the dinner table.

A groan escaped Jurian at the mere thought, of the looks they now shared with each other “If they move on any faster than this, I am afraid I will lose my bet.”

The seer only giggled, carefully peeking over her shoulder as she saw the fiery couple dancing. A soothing flame in the veil of shadows around them.

All those mortals around them, wanting to separate them, tear them apart, kill them, torture the other while their companion needed to watch – a dark veil of cruelty which both did not care about as they danced away the night with a burning love.

But those careful eyes of the seer strayed from them, strayed from everyone in the loud ballroom as she looked for him. A solid pillar of shadows that danced and whirled around the room, but he was nowhere to be found. His bulky frame having hid away in a shadow of this enormous castle.

Perhaps he had managed to gather some helpful information's. Writing them down and reading over them with trained hazel eyes. Studying line for line of the report- until the tiniest of secrets was spilled to him, somewhere in a room.

Elain could only hope so as she danced with Jurian for one more hour. A heavy heart sinking with each dance in her chest, while her ears picked up the same useless information's again and again and again.

The humans not able to get over the subject.

Until Elain grew tired of it. Tired of the heavy heart in her chest, tired of the hushed voices in her ears and tired of the ever-repeating steps she made.

Jurian noticed it with woken eyes. Leading her carefully away from those toxic souls of the humans. The quietness to her ears, as they entered the empty hallways, seemingly throwing off a weight off her petite shoulders.

Every step she made echoing loudly, along with his, in the cold stone corridors. Until they reached her door. A quiet smile – tired and forced laying on her lips as she bid her friend ‘good night.’

It was a wonder to her how Lucien pulled through these balls, it was a wonder to her how Azriel was still able to attend these festivities with even the smallest of acted smiles.

Her mind growing well aware to the fact why he despised these missions, in which he was required to be outside of his soothing veil of shadows.

The mortal realms were tiering, having feasted on her patience and masquerade for the entire day.

This stupid smile always on her lips.

More than once already today, did she want to rip it off of her face and just snarl at these humans. These humans -that had sprayed an intoxicating and poisonous smell around the entire evening – were ready to offer their queen.

They were all ready to drive a dagger between the ribs of their oh, so foolish queen. Killing her with the easiest of thoughts – if it wouldn’t have been for the two fae that were always around.

Another one lurking in the shadows behind.

As Elain pushed open the heavy door, there was this wave of relief that washed through her.

Letting this heavy veil, of midnight blue, slip off her shoulders. The cool air of her large chamber caressing her naked skin, dancing around her like strands of darkness that pleaded her to let her mask fall. Just like this heavy sheet of fabric – that lay abandoned on the wooden floor of her room.

This whole evening was tiering and it hadn’t even helped her to gather one tiny bit of information! How should she ever find out of Koschei’s hide out, of the strings he spun across the continent? Of the control he had on each of those who lived here.

Elain hated that she was stuck in a dead-end. All the information she had until this point – the same as last month and the one before that and the one before that.

This feeling of uselessness keeping her heart once again in shackles. Those tired feet rushing to carry her in the bath chamber attached to her room. Pulling at the fabric of the dress that had suffocated her all night.

There was nothing. Nothing in her heart she wished more to do now than unleash these toxic feelings inside her chest and get rid of those who caused it. A bloodshed that would take place another time, was all she could try and tell herself.

This heart of hers – that held the wish of hundreds of deaths near- beating in anticipation at the feeling that would rush through her, once she had stricken them true. It was a poisonous wish of her turned heart – but this wish was only turned towards those who deserved it.

To those which breathed cruelty and spat poison wherever they went, but then again – was she even allowed to judge? She knew how a human heart felt – knew how cruel it could become once fear crept inside their chests.

But there were also those with soft hearts. Fair hearts of gold, while those, who owned them, lived in poverty.

Most not even knowing how to write and read just a year ago.

Elain knew Vassa did everything in her might, to sooth the folds between wealthy humans and those who crawled in the dirt. But she also saw the way the queens presents were treated, knew how those in the Villages eyed the bread, the wheat and everything that lay among it. Warm blankets for the winter and tons of logs that were displayed on the marketplace as they feared that they needed to give everything back.

Doubled and thrice – like some lordlings and ladies wanted them to. So, it was Elain’s task to show them. That there was no fear necessary as she moved in rugs past the guards, that made sure everyone would get something.

Limping away on a stick and a duvet draped across her hunched back. With a smile did she notice that the villagers turned brave �� as the supposed old lady, awaited no punishment.

Elain had returned after that many times, asking each time another family if she could use their house for the lessons she thought. Gathering everyone, who wanted to in a circle, as she explained them how to write and read – in the dead of night.

Making sure that her lessons never took up too much of their time. She knew of the work that was necessary in winter and did not want to exhaust them too much.

Yet she still was able to teach everyone, within the four months of winter, how to write properly. At the end of her final lesson did she give her students a book. Some, which loved to read, immediately opening it – while others groaned at the three hundred pages of solstice tales.

This last day of teaching was also the one in which she had pulled her hood down. The small children, having tried already more than once, to reveal her face.

Elain had expected that there would be an uproar, that there would be fear. But as she explained her motives to them – they understood. Having gotten to know her in the darkest months of the year, kindness and silly jokes having bonded them on the many evenings.

Going as that far to even thank her, to tell her of the success they recently made.

Some were able to get their lost land back, while others were able to make better trads.

It brought joy to her heart, but also pain that she needed to leave them again. Knowing well that her sisters awaited her with impatient feet tipping on the ground – trying to get as many information's, about Vassa’s kingdom,from her as soon as she stepped over the threshold.

The one who normally interrogated not caring at all, of what happened at the mortal realms. Azriel was simply glad that she was back and listened with patience as she listed to him the many names of her students.

Watching in adoration, how this proud smile grew on her lips whenever she rambled on about them.

Whenever she told him of their good hearts.

While she tried to avoid talking about those which caused all of them pain. A snarl on her lips whenever she only thought about the lordlings and the ladies – just like now.

Their corrupted hearts feasting on power, while they laughed at those who played honest.

Those chackling laughs throughout the evening had her blood turn cold, had it freezing in her very veins as her heart decided to imagine the cold joy it would bring to make them shut up.

It was a solstice ball and yet some still found sick pleasure in the pain they caused.

Elain hated to admit that she became one of those. Cold caramel eyes looking back at her as she now looked into the mirror. This normally so soft face of hers, having grown cold as stone as she drowned in those cruel thoughts of hers.

A pang of pain crossed her heart at the knowledge of the monster that brewed underneath her. That grew, but was more and more tamed, with each training lesson Azriel and the wraiths offered her.

This silent beast inside her, noticing a pool of darkness in the corner of the little bath chamber. His fighting leathers- like she made out once her bare feet moved silently across the wood.

They were neatly folded, laying atop of a chair behind the tub. It wondered her as to why they were here. Moving through the darkness of her chamber did she call out in a soft voice “Azriel?”

It was almost entirely dark, only the open window – that flooded the room in a soft silver hue helping her to move without stumbling.

“Azriel?” she called out again, as she saw his massive form turned to the window.

Sweat coating his naked chest while he watched the clouds move on the sky with crossed arms. The sky he just soared through, she assumed. As Elain took in his tousled hair. The wind having combed those soft black strands of ink, atop of his head, in the most various directions.

Those mighty wings on his back capturing the silver hue of the halfmoon, making the cold light dance along the membrane. Illuminating every vein, every little and big scar as they were spread out wide.

It was the first time Elain had seen them entirely open – not even when he sunned them in her garden, did he allow them to open fully. Though it seemed as if they spread more and more, each time she found him after a long night of hushed laughter and shared jokes. But also, after those which ripped open old scars in both of their hearts.

But he snapped them shut, as he had heard Elain’s soft voice in the dark. His raging mind, that was for once absent, not able to identify her as his scarred hand moved immediately to truth teller.

Those sharp hazel eyes widening as soon as he recognized her petite form – clothed in nothing but her long sapphire night gown. The long sheet of satin, hanging in lose folds over her body. Those thin straps not even seeable as her waves of honey hair hung lose over her shoulders.

“Elain...” was all he breathed out, her eyes seeing the bob of his Adams apple even in the hue of moonlight. Though what hurt her, was that the stiffness of his shoulders, of his entire being, did not ease.

It pained her that he didn’t seem able to relax, those mighty wings folding themselves back together on his back, as she took step for step towards him.

An outstretched hand of hers wanting to touch the soft membrane, this sweet voice of hers only a whisper.

As she was afraid, he would cower away from her, if she spoke any louder. “No, please don’t stash them away from me. There is no need to hide them Azriel, they are beautiful.”

But her words did nothing to ease his tension, did nothing as his hazel eyes bored inside hers. Emotions dark as the night, making amber and emerald dance in his Irises.

Something must have gone clearly wrong tonight, the tension rolling off of him in silent waves – just like his shadows. That pooled to his naked feet.

The seer having long stepped into the darkness around him as she slowly lifted her hand.

His eyes not even straying, not even flickering, away for the moment of seconds. Every blink of his eyelids seemed to be too much movement for him, as her soft hand cupped his sculpted cheek. A shudder going through his entire body as fire and ice met.

Her cold skin resting on his heated cheek.

A low giggle of hers bubbled to the front “Sorry, I am a bit cold.” was all she declared. Trying to take her hand back to her side as she did so. It was better for him, better if a beast like her did not touch him – did not corrupt his pure heart.

But Azriel was against it. Was against her touch leaving his skin as his thoughts snapped to one conclusion. Each part of his body moving in unit as he pulled the seer gently by her waist towards him.

His bulky arms resting around her petite frame as his wings wrapped tightly around her.

Azriel’s entire being singing of a symphony of emotions. Feelings he knew, he nursed deep down in his heart for her.

Admiration, trust, need, respect and so much more having strung his heart to her.

He knew it, yet he was too much of a coward to spill it. To possibly take a decision from her if he would declare her his love.

But as she withdrew her hand, he knew of the cold feeling that had settled into her eyes the moment he had flinched under her cold touch. Disgust, but not towards him. Her eyes having spoken of what she thought herself – a beast, a monster.

Things she was far from as he held her close to his heart. “I am having enough warmth for two, take a bit of mine.”

He felt the soft hair of the seer move on his sweat slick chest. Groaning internally at the tickling sensation ‘This was a bad idea!’ he convinced himself with only one thought. She would be coated in sweat, once they pulled apart.

Though a primal part of him could only purr at that. Liking the idea very much that it would be his smell that coated her.

But as much as this primal part of him would like that - it was still Elain’s decision if she wanted to stay. Wrapped up in his arms and scent.

The shadowsinger was not aware of the effect he had on her as he pulled their bodies together. Needing a slight moment of shock as her nose suddenly breathed in his strong smell. The herb smell of cedar and night chilled mist dancing in her nose trills, along with the heavy scent of his sweat.

But she didn’t mind – couldn't bring herself to mind as her hair stuck to his sweat sticky chest. The flight and perhaps a bit of training having caused it to appear.

She loved him.

Was all she could think, as he pulled her closest to his heart. Those cold hands of hers rising to rest calmly on his muscled back. Only a few inches away from those gorges stems of his wings.

Pulling him ever so tight as they stood enveloped in shadows and night.

His warmth enveloping her entirely. While she listened to the most beautiful song, she ever heard – his heart beat. Azriel’s strong heartbeat, that kept thrumming against her ear, a steady lullaby that lured her in.

Making the exhausted seer forget about all the failure of this evening.

“Have you found out something today?” was still a question that wrestled itself free from her, as she respired it against his skin.

Azriel’s wings flaring for the slightest of bits as she did so. This deep voice of his, rasped, while he caressed her pointed ears with this ravenous sound. “Despite that most humans still don’t like us – nothing.”

A heavy sigh escaped her. “Have you found out something from Jurian?”

Elain heard a slight spike in his voice as he spoke the human man's name. Something that made her heart grow fussy and caused her skin to heat. A question she wanted to ask him so bad, never leaving her lips; ‘Are you jealous, Azriel?’

Oh, and how he was jealous! His heart having flared up the entire dance he witnessed them dance, giggles coming over those plush lips of the seer while she shared this playful side with Jurian.

He knew he had no right to be jealous. Had spent the entire evening away from her – silently interrogating woman for woman. As his heart was stuck with the female, that listened in carefully into these hushed conversations between the humans, in a silent corner.

Azriel would have loved to spent the evening with her, would have loved to let his shadows dance along to her soft light. But he knew of the importance this secret mission had for her.

And so, he took the stab to his heart and asked quietly around for his information, never too pushy as the eyes of his dance partner rested on him, a kind smile –so they thought- resting on his face while they danced and he interrogated them.

Dance for dance had hurt his heart and drove an invisible dagger a bit deeper. Well aware that Elain had only danced with one man before Jurian had asked her, while he was away. Twirling dozens of women as the evening aged.

Elain didn’t have the freedom, on this ball, like him and Lucien. She had known of the etiquette of the mortals, yet she had asked one to dance with her.

Having picked that one with prying ears and careful eyes as he had complained all evening about the fae that attended the festivities. But he had grown quiet as a mouse when he noticed the attention of the beautiful fae female.

How Azriel would have loved to switch places with this mortal – a wish that had never even crossed his mind before.

And sweet Elain – resting in his arms as she did not quite answer his question – took her hands from his back and peeled those scars covered hands off her waist. Letting those gentle fingers of hers interweave with his thick scarred ones. “Dance with me.” was all she pleaded with a smile.

This blinding smile of hers, turning him into a slave of his feelings as he could not deny her this wish – not if it was his one too.

A dance gentle and soft, as a flower, blooming between them. While they swayed to tunes of music that were playing far away from them. Tones of softly played music resting in both of their ears as they imagined the Starfall from last year.

Soon picking up where they had last ended their dance on one of the balconies at the house of wind.

Elain’s light satin gown swaying and circling as he spun her round and round. Letting her twirl freely at one of his hands. Pulling her tight her so gently as her bubbly laugh echoed through the dark chamber.

A smile spreading on his lips once he saw those lively eyes of hers again, that sparkled from life under the hue of moonlight. Every ounce of jealousy forgotten.

“I only got some information on a bet I have with him.” was all she giggled as he pulled her close to his still naked chest. An eyebrow rising at her in confusion while he twirled her.

This sapphire blue skirt of hers clothing her just as elegant as any evening gown as it splayed out around her.

“Care to explain it to me?” “Only if you join us first. We are already seven months into the bet. Jurian has bet for one and a half year, while I am at nine months.”

Azriel sighed in defeat, his voice a silent chuckle as he did so “Fine. I’ll stay close to you – ten months. For whatever it is you are betting for.”

An innocent smile on her lips, had him stumbling over one of his coffers, as she answered him. “We are betting on how long it will take for Lucien and Vassa to hook up and finally admit their feelings.”

There were few times in his life that had him speechless, fewer times even that had him shocked off guard. He hated to admit that this was one time of those.

His clumsy feet having stumbled over the heavy leather coffer, just as he twirled Elain back in. Both of their eyes wide open in shock as he pulled them down – expecting a hard fall as they did so.

But a fall never came as he landed with his back on the bed, wings flared out wide, while the seer crushed down on his muscled body. Clearly not having seen that one coming, as her eyes rested in shock on his face.

A bubbling laughter escaping her, when she had seen his eyes. Those wide baffled hazel eyes that knocked the breath out of her lungs as she took him in.

“Why would you bet with Jurian about this? Lucien is your mate after all.”

It took Elain some time to answer, but the kind blinding smile had his heart stopping, those soft lips of hers leaning forward to him. Pushing a feather light kiss to his chin – the only place of his face she could reach nestled in his arms like this. Some of the sweetest words he had ever heard, breathed against his skin.

“Lucien isn’t my mate. Not anymore – not since seven months.”

Azriel’s breath was stuck in his lungs when he saw Elain’s smiling eyes. That seemed to speak a language on their own as they watched him carefully. Soft caramel Irises searching his tearing hazel ones.

This beating muscle inside his chest, brimming over with love and hope while he couldn’t restrain himself.

No shadow, no leash – nothing- on this world would have been able from pressing his lips to those of his friend – his love. A wide smile plastered among her lips.

The knowledge, that she had teared his walls apart having her floating. Floating in a deep dark night sky together with him.

His heart having finally overcome a part of his love he feared.

He feared of the bond between Elain and Lucien. His shadows telling him at darker nights, that even if she chose him – she would never truly want to be by his side. She would always carve to be by the side of her mate.

And in order to protect himself from the pain - it would cause this stoned heart of his to shatter – he never let himself hope of a future next to the seer.

Had never imagined for one night, that this – her lips on his- could be more than a fantasy.

Soaring in his love, he wasn’t able to control himself. Azriel’s muscled body flipping Elain over, burying her under his love and wings. Those thick arms of his and strong legs to each side of her body.

This sweet taste of her lips leaving his as soon as he was braced atop of her.

Wide eyes looking into each other, while silence stretched between the two – both baffled at how it came to this.

But it was the Spymaster that broke the silence “What are we even doing in the same chamber?”

Elain had wondered the same as she first saw Azriel standing in the middle of her room. But her heart was so enwrapped by the sight of him – this dark form of his glittering under the moonlight- that every other thought of her mind had left her. Flying out of the open window and never even thinking of coming back to her.

It was a good question though and yet she couldn’t quiet take Azriel serious. Biting her lip to stifle a giggle while his baffled face looked down on her. This tousled mass of hair atop of his head screaming for her to bury her fingers inside them.

“I don’t know. This is the room Jurian had led me to. I honestly didn’t mind any room, as long as I would be able to find sleep in a bed. It was not my intention to scare you in your chamber.”

If the shadowsinger was confused before, then Elain wondered what he was now as his thick eyebrows furrowed together deep in thought. Before he decided to change the direction of things, crawling back into his interest self “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Elain’s body reacted to him, in the matter of a split second. Holding tight to his arms that were brace on either side of her face. “Azriel, I don’t know if you noticed that the bed is big enough for the both of us to fit.”

“I am afraid I’ll make you do things you will later regret.” was all he could breathe. His entire being growing still as stone above of her, once the doubt had settled into his very bones. Drumming a hurting melody of unworthiness on them.

It had hurt the seer to know of this melody, knew that only mere moments ago she felt the same drum clashing through her. But he was there. Called upon her with his heart as she doubted herself and she would gladly be there for him too. Showing him the love, he deserved. Along with all his worth that beat in his chest as she lifted her hand once again.

Hot skin meeting cold one.

The soft, warm touch of her delicate fingers seemingly melting away the ice that cloaked his skin.

“Azriel. I think you have known long enough already – that I don’t do things others expect of me. Not anymore. Not after you showed me the happiness a decision could bring, if I made it for myself.”

Her stern, soft eyes looked up at him “I am not the fae I once was. You have helped me grow into the one I am now. And there will be no decision in my immortal life again, I did not truly wish for.”

She smiled up at him. This blinding smile of hers warming his heart, like the first sunrays of the sun that bid their good morning to the falling moon, as she rose. “Please, Azriel share a bed with me. I couldn’t live with the thought of having you freezing on the floor, while I truly wish of you to be by my side.”

Her words had the mighty Spymaster on his knees, as he slowly crawled off of her. Settling himself under the blanket, waiting for the seer to come into his open arms. A deep blush covering his cheeks.

It were these words that had touched his heart. That had reached it with all her entire blinding force. Melted the bars away from his caged heart.

She wanted him by her side. Echoed her sweet words inside his ears, while she crawled up into his arms.

Not minding the sweat of him, not minding that splayed out clothes on the floor that spilled from the coffer, not minding the nosy moon. That watched through their wide-open window how the spymaster and the seer settled for sleep.

“How did you get to this room anyway?” mumbled Elain sleepily into the dark. Wrapped up comfortably in Azriel’s strong arms as her back was pressed to his chest. The nuzzle of his cheek against the crock of her neck, captured her breathe, as a knowing smile spread on Azriel’s sinful lips.

“Vassa had given me a description of the way when we first arrived.”

And with a final soft kiss to her tender flesh, did he bid her a wordless good night.

Letting their dreams continue to dance among the stars in the endless realms of their mind.

* * * Vassa sat smugly at the long table in her dining hall, on the next morning. The mug of tea pressed against her lips as Jurian greeted her tiredly, “Morning.”

“Morning.” she sang. Her cheerful voice having the human man halt in his task of loading scrambled egg on his plate. Those ocean blue eyes looking innocently over her cup into his face.

“Care to explain what happened?”

“Oh nothing, its just - “she crashed the mug on the table and jumped to her feet. Her index finger pointing victoriously at him while she had the biggest smirk on her face. It was that bright that even the sun could have hid behind her, but luckily the sun was far from rising. So Vassa would have her time to explain everything.

“- I have won the bet!”

Jurian knew exactly of which bet she talked about.

The shock over these news had him losing the fork with egg, he held in the air, spilling it all over the table as he slammed his hands on the tabletop – shoving his chair back as he rose.

“You cheated! You definitely did!”

Vassa’s smile only grew “You are to blame for this all by yourself, after all you have been the one that brought her to Azriel’s chamber.” Puzzled brown eyes met those devilish gleaming ones of the queen. “But Elain always stays in this chamber?”

“Opps, looks like I hadn’t known.” Jurian was well aware to the play she had sat up. Her faked innocence for the topic at hand even audible for someone that was deaf. “Vassa that is not acceptable! And where do you even want to know of if they slept with each other?!”

“I am having my sources.” was all she told him. The smugness radiating off of her as Lucien trotted in. His tired body holding on tightly to the cup of coffee in his hands. Showing those fangs of his, while a yawn wrestled itself free from him “Who had slept with who?”

“Elain with Azriel!” beamed Vassa at the ginger haired male. The cup he held on so tightly, shattering on the ground.

His entire being suddenly wide awake as his wide eyes looked at a smirking Vassa. Dread filling Jurian’s guts while he expected everything, but not what he got: “So, we have won?”

“We have won.” declared the woman proudly. It was a matter of seconds in which Lucien’s long legs stepped with ease over the shattered coffee leftovers and picked up the queen. Twirling her with a wide smirk. Like two children that had found the other again, after they hadn’t seen each other for a while.

“We have won!” chimed both happily. Leaving a baffled Jurian at the side line.

“Could you two put me in the picture as well!” “Lucien was my ‘source’.”

The male only shrugged as Vassa called him out. Admitting full out that he had casted a monitoring spell on the room.

Jurian could only hope, for their own safety, that when Elain found out - they were far, far away.

But the other two seemed to have no remorse, that they possibly (most definitely) invaded their privacy.

“Vassa, in what sense did you mean ‘they slept with each other’?” He suddenly wondered aloud. Something didn’t ad up to him, as she celebrated her triumph.

It seemed like as if he hit the target right, as her shoulders grew stiff. The quiet mumble that left her mouth, barely audible for him “Well, I mean it in the sense of … sharing a bed.”

Normally the former general would have felt betrayed, but this time those news eased his strained nerves.

‘Elain would have killed us all if she would have found out! Or Azriel’ was all he could think about. Glad to know that his human life has a couple of more years to last.

Because it was clear as day to all of them, that there would be nothing in this world that could stand against the anger of these two – if they ever should find out that someone disturbed the privacy of their loved one, not caring at all about their own one.

And while Vassa, Jurian and Lucien ate breakfast until the sun rose, they let them sleep. Smiling happily at the thought that their friends had finally found their way together.

Letting their hearts finally dwell in the company of each other.

The blooming seer and death incarnate had a long way to go after all.

#acotar secret snowflake #elriel #elain x azriel #elain #elain as spy apprentice #azriel #the band of exiles #mentions of Koschei #elriel fluff #vassa #jurian #lucien #acotar #my writing

42 notes · View notes

theoceanfaewriter · 3 years

Text

Do-overs

Merry Christmas @forthemorefortunate, from your ACOTAR secret snowflake. Have a great holiday!

A slight veer to the left…half an angle to the right…one smidge back to the left…and the sled goes straight into a snowbank.

Rhysand emerges, spluttering and coughing out a mouthful of white powder, and summons his best glare at the figure bent-double with laughter in the short distance, “That doesn’t count!” he shakes himself off with as much dignity as possible, grabs the sled, and determinedly marches back up the hill, “That’s a do-over.”

“Oh, like the last three times were do-overs too, Rhys?” it’s appallingly easy to lose a little bit of his annoyance to see the way pale daylight halos Feyre’s curls and makes her blue-grey eyes sparkle (or maybe that’s just her smile?) as she shakes her head, “Nice try. Concede now and I may consider forgoing our bet.”

“Hah!” it’s a little dramatic on his part (okay, it’s really dramatic), but Rhysand waves a hand through the air with a wild flourish and shakes his head, “Not happening, temptress! I will win this bet even if it kills me.”

“Considering how many times you’ve dunked yourself in the snow, and you failed to dress for the occasion,” she gives an unnecessary once-over to his (admittedly) lacking attire, especially when compared to her own – but that’s an unfair comparison, because even if he did own the right clothes for this, there’s no way he can pull off the winter look like the woman who makes snow boots and a ski jacket look fit for a runway, “that might be more of a prophetic statement than not.”

Rhysand’s nose chooses that highly inconvenient moment to mandate an audible sniff, and he waves away Feyre’s lifted eyebrow and knowing smirk. “’m fine.”

“…tell you what,” Feyre shifts her weight slightly with a grin that seems more genuine than devious (for once), “I’m feeling the Christmas spirit, so new deal: you make the next trip down without a crash landing, the hot cocoa – with extra whipped cream – is on me.”

It doesn’t entirely sit well with his pride to admit defeat to their original agreement, by virtue of not being able to compete for anything in the first place, but pride is taking a back seat to the greater issue at hand: he’s wet, cold, and a steaming mug of hot cocoa with his favorite topping is a siren’s call that he just can’t refuse.

“Deal.” They shake on it, then he mounts the sled, angles it just a little differently, and drops down the hillside.

Taglist: @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves @starborn-faerie-queen

Let me know if you’d like to be added to my ACOTAR taglist!

#feysand #feysand fanfic #sledding fanfic #acotar secret snowflake #forthemorefortunate #nyka writes #theoceanfaewriter #acotar

22 notes · View notes

mikitheswiftie · 3 years

Photo

For @anidealiveson your snowflake. Nessian Atla Au. If both are them are in the Atla Au, it is obvious that Cassian is a firebender while Nesta is a waterbender (because I can picture her bloodbend; and waterbending is elegant and deadly at the same time) but many will mistake her for a firebender due to her personality. 🎄🎄🎄🎄 With a hint of Kataang and; the koi fishes as cute ghost-like creatures, we are good to go. They do represent the duality of yin and yang. 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 Bring out the kalimba! I want to thank @ladynestaarcheron for organising Acotar Snowflake:) Happy New Year

18 notes · View notes

duskandstarlight · 3 years

Text

Wings, Flames and Shadows (one-shot, seriously NSFW)

Part Two (Read part one here or read it all on A03)

Nesta/Cassian/Azriel SMUT

Premise: Azriel, Nesta and Cassian play strip poker in Illyria. Followed by smut, smut and more smut. Babies please do not read this.

Teaser: An hour later, Cassian threw his cards down with a defeated groan.

And Nesta, the she-devil, smirked as she pulled the last of his chips towards her. It was a movement that widened when Cassian snarled softly.

Azriel leant forwards from where he was seated, his elbows coming to rest on his broad thighs. He had lost his socks but otherwise remained fully dressed. He was holding his wings a fraction higher than usual, as if he were having to concentrate more than he usually did when they played cards.

A muscle ticked in the shadowsinger’s cheek. It was enough to tell Cassian that he was suppressing a smile. And because his brother had not smiled in months, Cassian pulled off his undershorts without hesitation, even as he groused, “Amused, brother?”

Again, Azriel’s lips tugged upwards. And then, to Cassian’s surprise, the shadowsinger chuckled with a small shake of his head, “You two need a chaperone up here?”

Notes: Guys, I, umm… don’t really know what to say about this fic. I have written this for @nesta-stan who was my Secret Snowflake - I hope you enjoy this absolute smut-fest, inspired by you saying that you like “fluff but mainly smut”, which I promise you, this is entirely!

This fic is based is a standalone one-shot, but it runs on from Habits, which I know a lot of you were demanding more from. This is in no way the second part, but it definitely stands in the series. It was also inspired by some of the prompts I receive the other day, which was “Nessian playing cards” and “Nessian smut”.

So here you are you thirsty lot, a Nesta/Cassian/Azriel threesome. I know that this would not happen in canon (we don’t think!!), but I have tried to make it as believable (and as filthy) as possible. Azriel is a “freak”, we know that from SJM, but I will go as far as to say that Cassian in my mind is even filthier..

Thanks to @ladynestaarcheron for organising the Secret Snowflake - I hope you enjoy this too! And major, major thanks to my muse @jeakat , who has made this entire fic happen and edited all 13k+ words of this absolute smut-fest. THANK YOU <3

And now I am going to go and die somewhere in embarrassment. HAPPY NEW YEAR’S DAY, FOLKS.

Wings, Flames and Shadows (2/2)

Azriel did not protest, he only dropped his scarred hands away from the underwear he had yet to remove and held them out to Nesta.

The shadowsinger did not flinch as Nesta raked her eyes up his body, her eyes gleaming at the hard length of him — a gleam that Cassian knew meant she was contemplating dropping to her knees and taking him in her mouth — before she took his hands.

“Mine or yours?” Cassian asked Nesta, coming up behind her and touching his fingers to her neck.

“Yours,” Nesta said, and then she strode to his bedroom as if she was a queen in search of her throne.

Cassian came up behind Nesta just as she made to kneel onto the mattress. He caught her around the waist, turning them so the backs of his knees hit the edge of the mattress. He coaxed her down with him, pulling her hips until her back was flush to his chest for the second time that evening.

There was an almost predatory look on Azriel’s face as he stepped out of the shadows, his wings huge and mighty behind him. Cassian had seen the expression on the shadowsinger before, usually when he intended to draw out long, prolonged pleasure both for himself and the others he was bedding.

Leaning back on an arm for purchase, Cassian gave the invitation Azriel was waiting for; he pulled Nesta’s underwear to the side, the material ripping slightly beneath his fierce grip. “I believe you were about to taste Nesta,” he drawled.

The shadowsinger huffed, the only indication that he was amused, as he dropped silently to his knees.

“Azriel likes to have females begging,” Cassian told Nesta, his lips a distraction at her ear. He watched his voice skitter down her skin, relishing in the way the hairs of her arms stood on end in anticipation.

But Nesta raised her chin, meeting Azriel’s eyes as the shadowsinger looped her legs over his shoulders. The movement was careful, designed to avoid the shadowsinger’s wings. Nesta knew better than to touch them. Rarely dared to try and touch Cassian’s. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t beg.”

Her voice was wholly even but Cassian felt her heart thump against her ribcage.

It was a lie. She had begged for Cassian before.

And then Azriel spoke for the first time since they had started this insanity.

“Yet,” Azriel promised darkly, and then he slowly lowered his mouth to her.

Cassian’s body burned as Azriel swiped the flat of his tongue over Nesta’s folds. The drawn out movement was full of promise; of expertise and precision from years of worship. It made Cassian’s cock throb painfully. Just the thought of Nesta breaking beneath Azriel’s tongue made him want to roar, but he made do with grinding his erection into Nesta’s bare back as he reached around to cup her breasts. Nesta had gone still in the way she often did when someone first went down on her, as if she were afraid to breathe. Cassian knew she found the act too intimate, too vulnerable as she was splayed out before someone, but Cassian also knew that Azriel would coax pleasure out of Nesta that would shatter through that numbness, until her lungs were gasping and her fingers were grappling at the sheets for purchase.

And Cassian had an unprecedented view.

Over Nesta’s shoulder, Cassian watched Azriel tease her. Watched the shadowsinger trace his tongue over her in a way that was too leisurely, denying Nesta of the steady rhythm across her clit that would have toes curling as she hurtled towards orgasm. Watched Nesta slowly unravel bit by bit, kissing away her hoarse moans that coursed around the room. He lavished attention onto her neck, raking his teeth down the unblemished skin, fluttering his tongue against her pulse point as he sucked hard enough for her skin to bruise. Traced the elegant tip of her ear with his tongue before tugging her lobe between his teeth.

When Nesta’s cries were a steady stream and her stomach was tensing beneath a splayed palm, Cassian ripped the fabric of her underwear clean off of her.

Azriel growled in approval, his lips fastening over Nesta’s clit with a new sort of intent, his scarred hands pulling her hips closer. His wings flared behind him as he buried his face back between her folds, his tongue fluttering over that bundle of nerves until Nesta’s voice broke and she whimpered.

“Cassian,” she bit out, the word breaking into a sob that Cassian knew Nesta hated herself for as she struggled to find purchase in Azriel’s hair.

She let out a frustrated snarl, as if she had been expecting more, and then her arms were winding around Cassian’s neck to tug at the length of his hair.

Nesta’s nails dug hard into his scalp, but the pain was a pleasant distraction from his throbbing cock. When a satisfied moan escaped Nesta’s lungs, Cassian bowed his head to snarl softly into her neck — the sound possessive — as he scraped his teeth up the pale column that was his downfall every, damn time.

“Is that good, sweetheart?” Cassian murmured, pressing the words into her skin as he continued to marvel at the weight of her breasts in his hands. He rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefingers, tugging at the peaks which were as stiff as his cock, relishing in her cry as she arched into him.

“I love hearing you moan,” he rasped, watching as Azriel drew broad circles around that bundle of nerves in just the way Nesta liked. “Can you feel how hard you make me?”

With a whimper, Nesta turned her head towards him, burying it into the crook of his neck. When Azriel closed his mouth around her clit and sucked, she rolled back onto Cassian’s erection with a sharp cry.

Gently, Cassian ran a hand through her hair, pushing the golden brown strands from her face so he could access her mouth. The brush of her tongue against his had everything in him snapping, as the light from his end of the bond flooded into the inky dark. That tunnel widened with the movement, Nesta’s pleasure barrelling down to his core.

It snapped his self-control, the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop himself, even as he knew it would make Nesta blush, “How does she taste?”

Slowly, Azriel rose his head to look at Cassian. His lips wet and swollen, his pupils blown impossibly wide. He dragged two fingers through Nesta’s folds, swiping briefly over her swollen clit, just as his other hand pumped at his cock, as if he too were too far gone for self-restraint. “Delicious,” he said, his cold voice as close to a caress as Cassian had ever heard it. “I could do this all evening.”

The chill of Azriel’s promise had Nesta breaking, the teasing too much. Azriel had coaxed Nesta’s body to the brink so many times that her body was trembling, every muscle taut and expectant. She went to snarl, her resolve finally breaking, but then Azriel was easing two fingers inside of her and the sound died in her throat.

The desperate way that Nesta’s breath stuttered sparked Cassian into action. He moved before he could think, easing Nesta onto her back and kneeling by her head.

His cock was thick and aching, the tip leaking with pre-cum in a way that he would have found mortifying if he wasn’t too gone to care.

“Sweetheart,” he begged hoarsely, pleading for her to touch him again, but he needn't have bothered. Nesta’s hand immediately came up to wrap around him, her thumb swiping over the bead of moisture and running it down his length.

“Fuck,” he hissed, his hips bucking into her hand. He leant over to skim his hands down her body with the sort of reverence he was not supposed to let himself give in to. “You’re so beautiful,” he rasped, “even Azriel can’t help but touch himself. He��s jerking off as he tastes you.”

Another broken sound was pulled from Nesta. She moved her hand faster, sliding up and down the length of him, twisting her hand over the head with such expert precision he nearly lost all sense of control as she tried to arch into Azriel, wanting — no, needing — his mouth back on her clit.

“Make me come.” It was a moaned order. The closest Nesta would ever get to pleading.

Cassian’s hand moved of its own volition, his fingers sliding down until they passed over her swollen clit, his jaw slack as her hips bucked into his touch. Azriel held Nesta down, his fingers working harder with an expertise that usually had the females he bedded screaming as he scraped his teeth over the insides of Nesta’s thighs.

Panted gasps worked their way into Cassian’s ears. He gripped Nesta’s hand, bucking into her fist as her body went taut, like a rope about to be cut loose. Her back arched, her head tilting back onto the mattress, exposing her neck as Cassian continued to draw tight, relentless circles around that bundle of nerves.

He knew the second before it was going to happen. Felt Nesta reach that pinnacle that turned everything quiet. For a second, she was in free-fall, that mist wreathing around her hands, travelling down her arms… Cassian heard Azriel grunt into the skin of Nesta’s thigh, felt his own body move without his brain ordering it, collapsing over her to sink his teeth into Nesta’s neck as that wave came crashing down.

Nesta cried out, the sound sharp in the air as her magic flew from her fingertips, a silver blaze flying across the room and illuminating the ceiling to broadcast three sets of shadow and two huge sets of wings.

Her body shook and jerked as wave after wave of pleasure barrelled through her body. When she was finished, she sank her body back into the mattress with a shuddered moan, as if her orgasm had left her completely boneless. Slowly, her hands came up to automatically bury themselves back into Cassian’s hair, as if it were a tether bringing her back down from the high she had been riding him.

Shame flooded Cassian as he realised his teeth were still clamped around her neck… that he had claimed her in front of Azriel without rational thought. He made his jaw go slack, ran the flat of his tongue repeatedly along the dented skin he had not quite punctured, licking away the pain as he gently ghosted over her folds, teasing the final dregs of pleasure from her.

Azriel bent to close his lips over Nesta’s clit, his mouth suckling at Cassian’s fingers as he lapped up the wetness, until Nesta shuddered from the sensitivity and pushed his head away.

“Was that good, sweetheart?” Cassian asked hoarsely, hoping to the Cauldron that Nesta was not going to shy away from him. He looked down to survey her flushed face. Her skin was sweaty and pink — beautiful — and he brushed away the golden brown hair that was stuck to her face, swiping his thumb along the arch of her cheekbone as he went.

He was amazed when Nesta only nodded in reply, tightening her grip on his hair to pull his mouth to hers. She allowed Azriel’s scarred hands to coax her legs open again as he stood between them. Only let out a low, shuddered moan as Azriel slid the length of him through her folds.

Azriel’s eyes met Cassian’s for a fraction of a second. For once the shadowsinger’s expression was not stoic. Instead, Cassian detected a wariness to his expression; the slight crease of his brow and the look in his eyes that it had all clicked into place.

But Cassian did not make a sound of protest as Azriel slowly eased the tip of his straining cock into Nesta. Tried to push down the territorial part of him that wanted to snarl and attack. Focussed only on the pleasure running down that bond that told him Nesta was safe and happy. That she wanted this.

Nesta let out a whimper as her body stretched to accommodate the shadowsinger, but still Azriel’s eyes did not leave Cassian’s face. Out of the two of them, Azriel was the longest. But Cassian was not far behind him, his cock thicker than the shadowsinger’s, allowing him to push against those vital nerve endings that most other males didn’t have the luxury of.

Grabbing a few pillows, Cassian coaxed them beneath Nesta’s head. When she reached up to grab his cock, he moaned. His moan was even louder when her other hand snaked around his hips, tugging him closer so his knees were cradling her head, his chest facing the end of the bed, offering him an unprecedented view of Azriel as he slid into her.

He nearly died when Nesta opened her mouth. Thought his heart would stop beating as he guided his cock between her lips.

Nesta’s mouth was wet and warm and tight, and Cassian let out a ragged moan as she fisted her hand around him and started to suck.

“Fuck, Nesta,” Cassian groaned in awe as he looked down at her — at his dick hard and throbbing in her mouth and Azriel’s cock, which was still easing into her. “You have no idea how unbelievable you look right now.” He pulled out of her mouth and tapped his cock onto her outstretched tongue. Nesta moaned, her hands coming up to slide around his hips again, to his buttocks, where she pressed insistently, urging him back into her mouth just as Azriel started some slow, shallow thrusts.

The motion made Nesta’s breasts start to bounce, and Cassian tracked the movement with a slack jaw, his eyes darting between them and her lips which were wrapped tightly around him. If her mouth hadn’t felt so heavenly, Cassian would have taken no time in straddling her waist and thrusting between her cleavage.

Perhaps that was something for another time, Cassian thought raggedly. Something for when it was just the two of them…

Nesta moaned around the length of him as Azriel started to pick up the pace, the shadowsinger sliding into her waiting body in that dark and brooding way of his. His jaw was also slack, his eyes moving between Nesta’s breasts and mouth, as if he too couldn’t decide which was more appealing.

Pleasure spiked through Cassian as Azriel gave a long, hard thrust. The pleasure was not just his own, it clung deep to his insides, curling like a sensual fog around his ribcage.

To feel his own arousal was one thing, but to feel another’s so keenly had the primal part of Cassian springing to the forefront.

“Can I fuck your mouth, sweetheart?” he begged raggedly, pulling his cock out of her mouth again. More pre-cum was leaking from the tip and he watched it drip into Nesta’s waiting mouth. She swallowed it with another moan, that beautiful frown twisting her expression as Azriel sunk in again right to the hilt.

Her hands closed fast around the hand he had placed on her cheek. “Will you let me?” He urged, his wings snapping out wide as she sucked his thumb into her mouth.

When Nesta nodded, the gesture was almost desperate and her eyes glittered in a way he had not seen before.

“Good girl,” Cassian breathed, bending to briefly press his swollen lips to hers. “I’ll be gentle with you, I promise.”

He swore as he started to move, the sight of his cock sliding between her lips too good to be true. He grunted, watching the tantalising column of her throat moving as she took him with every measured thrust. As Azriel started to pick up the pace, his hips slapping into Nesta’s in a relentless, tireless rhythm, pressing his weight on the undersides of Nesta’s thighs, holding her wide open…

And from the noises that Nesta started to make, Cassian knew that it wasn’t just he and Azriel that were enjoying it. He could hear her arousal too; the wet, slick sound as Azriel plunged into Nesta over and over. Even the shadowsinger had resorted to thick, heavy breathing, his chest heaving as his chiselled body moved in time with Nesta’s.

“She’s close,” Cassian told the Azriel, pulling out of Nesta’s mouth to bend and kiss her again. He caught her lower lip between his teeth as he pulled back, tugging lightly, his hands coaxing Nesta’s to her breasts, to pinch and twist at her nipples.

“Aren’t you, sweetheart?” Cassian asked Nesta softly. He caught her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger, urging her to meet his gaze. When Nesta opened her eyes, the smoky blue of her irises were glazed with the heady sort of pleasure that gave way to something more open… more vulnerable. The Nesta that Cassian had come to know in their times between the sheets.

Faelight caught in the lust-filled pupils of Azriel’s eyes, his irises glittering with promise. His abs were gleaming with sweat, the room hot with lust and their desperate pants.

Cassian gripped at his cock with his other hand. Squeezed his fist around the length to ease the tension.

“Azriel’s being a gentlemale, sweetheart,” Cassian continued, his voice a rasp as he raked his eyes appreciatively over the shadowsinger. “He wants you to come again.

“Make me then,” Nesta part-snarled, part-moaned at Azriel, reaching down to pull his scarred hand between her legs. Azriel’s eyes flared and then, without further delay, he thrust hard into Nesta’s waiting body.

Nesta cried out. Cassian felt the pleasure that sparked beneath her closed eyelids as her back arched in desperation at the sudden, punishing rhythm. Azriel sucked at his thumb, dropping it between her legs, using the moisture to press down on Nesta’s clit over and over as he pummelled inside of her.

“That’s it,” Cassian murmured, one hand dropping to fist his member as he held Nesta’s face in the other. He had moved to the side of her head, wanting more than anything to watch the ecstasy unfold across her features. To slide his cock into her mouth just as she came. To stifle the moans as she fell over the edge.

Nesta whined as Cassian moved, her hands grappling for purchase on his muscular thighs, tugging his hips down until the tip of him was in her mouth again and her fist was wrapped around the base.

She pumped and sucked in tandem, doing the best she could at the angle, her moans vibrating down the length of him in a way that was too much, too good…“Fucking hell,” Cassian swore as Nesta’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. She tore her mouth from him to let out a sharp cry, her fist holding onto him as Azriel pounded her into the mattress.

Cassian’s eyes darted to the scarred hand which was working furiously at that bundle of nerves. Which was clearly doing the job as Nesta cried out, her eyelids fluttering shut…

“Are you going to come?” Azriel’s low, deep voice caressed its way across the mattress, his words more an order than a question. Nesta did not reply, she only frowned, pleasure contorting her face in a way that somehow made her look even more divine.

“Sweetheart, did you hear?” Cassian dragged his fingers through Nesta’s tangled hair, hoping his touch would coax her to open her eyes — to connect with him. She was biting her lip, hard enough that Cassian wouldn’t be surprised if she broke the skin. “Azriel wants to know if you’re close.” Another gentle comb of his fingers through the hair that had come free from her braid. “Are you going to come with my cock in your mouth?”

Those eyelids fluttered open slowly, as if they were too heavy. Nesta was panting now, her stomach clenching in a way that told Cassian she was already a goner.

“Yes.” The word came out on an exhale of breath as Azriel slammed into her hard. It was barely audible but Cassian caught it. He watched her brow furrow even further as she whimpered, her fingers scrabbling to find purchase around his thighs “Yes, I -“

Then Nesta’s mouth latched back onto his cock just in time for her body to start shaking.

Azriel groaned, his usual composure shattered as Nesta’s body arched sharply, her thighs trembling as she broke and broke and broke. Cassian inhaled sharply, desperately fumbling for some sense of control as he tried not to follow her. For all the females he had bedded, Nesta was something else entirely. Watching her break was usually his undoing as it was, but to have her pleasuring two males at the same time…

It took everything in Cassian to pull his cock from her mouth. To press his lips to hers.

“Doesn’t she look beautiful when she comes?” Cassian asked Azriel, but he was not looking at the shadowsinger, unable to help but bow again to kiss Nesta’s swollen lips.

“Devastating,” Azriel replied, as he withdrew. He was still rock hard, clearly having enough sense to know that Cassian would rip him apart if he came inside of his mate. Gently, the shadowsinger ran his scarred hands up and down the outsides of Nesta’s calves and the tops of her thighs, before he stepped away to kneel onto the mattress.

He settled himself at the top of the bed, his back against the headrest, his erection hard and insistent against his stomach. For once the shadowsinger looked ruffled, his blue black hair tousled. With a long stretch he fanned out his wings, the claws at the apex gripping the top of the tall bed frame.

Nesta had fallen quiet, her arm thrown across her face as she caught her breath, but at the sound of Azriel’s claws on the metal frame, she turned onto her stomach.

She crawled up the bed on her hands and knees until she reached his lap, where she collapsed onto her elbows, her stomach flush with the mattress. Azriel stared down at Nesta with obvious surprise, his eyes glinting as he ran his scarred hands over her hair, holding back the tendrils that had come free from her plait.

Lips slightly parted, Azriel guided his dick past Nesta’s lips. Nesta moaned softly. When she tried to fit as much of Azriel’s length into her mouth as possible, both Cassian and Azriel let out a grunt of approval.

“Cassian,” Nesta breathed insistently after a few bobs of her head. She craned her neck to stare at him. And when she lifted her hips slightly from the bed, her thighs rubbing together as if already she was trying to grant some friction between her legs, Cassian had to bite back a moan. “Fuck me.”

“Like this?” Cassian asked uncertainly, frowning as he ran his hands down her waist and over her hips.

For all the times they had joined, they had never tried that position. Cassian knew what had happened to her. Had guessed what position she had been pinned into when that human filth had assaulted her. Could see the four silvery scratch marks that raked down her lower back and across her left buttock.

“Please,” she breathed, her eyes so trusting that for a moment his heart clenched.

But Cassian couldn’t do it. Couldn’t risk her panicking and ruining everything. So he bent his head to briefly kiss those silvery scars before he turned to lie flat on his back. He coaxed her hips upwards, until there was enough room for him to slide his head between her legs. Then, he splayed his wings out on either side of him, the tips hanging over the huge bed.

Nesta whimpered at the first touch of his tongue and Cassian held in a groan as he lapped at her folds. He knew she was too sensitive to come straight away. Knew that she needed some gentle coaxing to relax her body back into it.

He listened to the sucking sounds of Nesta’s mouth and the occasional, soft moan. Listened to the shadowsinger’s laboured breathing. Growled appreciatively himself when Nesta started to move her hips of her own volition.

When her moans turned wild and untamed, Cassian heard Azriel ask Nesta quietly, “Is that good?”

A whimpered, garbled reply sounded around the room as Cassian latched onto her clit and sucked it into his mouth.

He let out a muffled moan as he felt her body start to tremble.

“Cassian,” Nesta moaned in warning. She tried to pull her hips away from him but he held her down fast. “Cassian.” Not a desperate moan this time, but an angry one. Anger which swept down that bond so fiercely it felt as if he were being scorched.

He let go of her hips and tore his mouth away from her.

“Fuck me,” she snarled, the sound desperate and pleading, and Cassian didn’t need to tilt his head back to know she was glaring at him. “Just-“

“Come here, Nesta.”

Azriel cut her off, pulling her up with him until they were both on their knees and Cassian was tilting his head back to stare up at them. And then, as if she weighed nothing, Azriel slid his scarred hands under her hips and lifted her to his body.

Cassian could sense Nesta’s confusion. Felt that primal part of him start to snap as she wrapped her long legs around the shadowsinger’s waist. But then Azriel was settling Nesta down over Cassian’s body, so her knees were straddling his hips just below his outstretched wings.

When Nesta sank down onto Cassian with a satisfied moan, the room bled into nothing. Cassian let out a slow shaky breath, trying to control that lust-driven piece of him that wanted to pursue both of their pleasure until he was slamming into her body. Instead, he gave himself a moment to take stock. To relish in the moment he had been denying himself of all evening: the feeling of her tight and wet around him. He drank in the view before him: the parted lips, the flushed face, and most importantly, the wide eyes that were seeing for the first time in weeks.

Nesta leant over his body, her arms coming to frame his face as he caught her hips, guiding her to start riding him, her pelvis grinding into his in way that was so perfect he swore.

Cassian just caught the tempting sway of her breasts before her mouth slanted over his. It was not a desperate kiss but slow and passionate, as if she too was relieved that they were finally joined.

“Are you going to make Azriel come?” Cassian asked her softly, when she finally drew away from him. He leant up to capture a nipple briefly in his mouth, lavishing it with attention, his teeth nipping softly over the peak in the way she liked. When Nesta circled her hips down onto him so he was pressing deep inside of her, he groaned and let go, his head falling back onto the mattress.

Winding his fingers into Nesta’s hair with one hand, he pulled her down for another searing kiss. “He’s been so good to you, hasn’t he?” he murmured, snapping his hips up into hers so that she let out a long whimper. “I think he deserves to finish.”

Still whimpering, Nesta nodded. And then, without a fuss, she raised herself back up onto her knees, allowing the shadowsinger to step closer.

Azriel came to stand on the mattress by Cassian’s right shoulder. His fist was moving furiously up and down his swollen member, in a way that told Cassian the shadowsinger had held off long enough.

The view was phenomenal. Cassian groaned as he watched Azriel guide his cock into Nesta’s mouth. It sparked Cassian into action. Gripping Nesta’s hips, he started to drive upwards, setting a punishing pace that he knew would result in Nesta being nothing but a mass of screaming, trembling limbs by the time he was finished.

With a slack jaw, Cassian watched Nesta’s head start to bob. Watched as Azriel’s control slipped and his hips thrust into her waiting mouth with a speed that told Cassian that it would not be long until he was spurting hot come.

A grunted groan fell from Azriel’s throat as Nesta whimpered rather than backed away. As she relaxed her throat so she could take more of him. It was the loudest sound the shadowsinger had made that evening and it made something spike inside Cassian’s blood. He brought his feet up so they were flat on the mattress, making use of his pelvic-floor and the new angle to slam relentlessly into Nesta’s body.

The noise of smacking skin was nothing on the cry that came from Nesta. She tore her mouth from Azriel to bury her head into the shadowsinger’s left hip, muffling the moans that told Cassian he had tapped into something vital. He felt Nesta’s body turn pliant, watched Azriel’s hands fall to grip Nesta side, keeping her upright.

“Already?” Azriel murmured disbelievingly to Nesta. It was rare for the shadowsinger to speak so much during sex, usually he remained dark and brooding and left Cassian to let his mouth run away from him. “Are you going to come again, so soon?”

A moaned affirmation and then a sharp cry as Cassian ground his hips up into Nesta’s.

“Will you make me come first?” Azriel asked gently, urging Nesta to look up at him with those cloudy blue eyes. His fist was erratically pounding at the base of his cock and he stifled a deep groan as he eased his erection back into Nesta’s mouth. His shadows were swirling fast around him now, betraying just how close he was to that pinnacle. How in moments, he would break.

Azriel’s scarred hands lightly cradled the back of Nesta’s head despite his other, frenzied movements, holding back the hair that had escaped from the plait that was now loose and messy.

A groan tore itself from Cassian’s throat as Nesta closed her lips and suckled at the engorged head of Azriel’s cock. The sound snapped into a pleased growl when she nodded furiously, staring up at the shadowsinger beneath thick eyelashes. “Good girl,” Azriel praised, briefly stilling his movements as he lightly touched his fingers to her cheek.

Then his hand was moving again, faster and faster, his shadows swirling and twisting around his limbs, throwing him in and out of shadow so frantically that Cassian nearly missed Azriel’s expression as it twisted with his impending release…

And then Azriel’s shadows were thrown outwards, casting the shadowsinger in nothing but light as he pulled out of Nesta’s mouth. The shadowsinger tugged urgently at Nesta’s hair, pulling her head back to expose the generous cleavage Azriel had been eyeing since Nesta had first taken off her camisole. It all happened just in time, and then the shadowsinger was coming, huge spurts streaming from the tip and onto Nesta’s breasts.

It was too much for Cassian - a boundary that shouldn’t have been crossed - a feral snarl unleashing itself from his chest a he watched Azriel claim his mate’s skin. His blood surged fiercely through his veins — chanting mine, mine, mine — as he drove Nesta’s hips down to meet his again, circling them in the way that he knew made her body go slack and all of her focus fall to the pressure building in that bundle of nerves between her legs.

Cassian did not see Azriel shudder or the shadows that whispered back to the shadowsinger, sheathing his face in patches of dark. Did not see how Azriel bent down to cup Nesta’s wet breasts, to pull her nipples into his mouth in turn. Did not even see the shadowsinger blend completely into shadow as Cassian started to drive he and Nesta into simultaneous release.

All he cared about was the pursuit of that shared pleasure that would bind the two of them together. The pitch of Nesta’s wild, ragged moans as she met him thrust for thrust, circling her hips down onto his. The way she fell over his body to press her lips urgently to his, their tongues battling in a way that was too perfect, too much…

“Cassian,” Nesta breathed, and he knew from the way her voice trembled that this release was going to be more intense than the others. “Cassian.”

Pleasure surged between them, that shared bond swelling, cracking Nesta’s ice. His light plummeted to meet hers just as that inky dark rushed towards him, and when the two forces met, Cassian knew he was a goner.

“Me too, sweetheart,” he gasped, throwing his top half upwards so he was seated. “Me too. Fuck-”

His spare hand clapped against her ass, his fingers digging into the flesh as she rode him with abandon. Cassian just caught sight of Nesta’s glistening chest before she pressed her forehead to his, tangling her fingers into the snarled strands of his hair as if they were her reigns.

And then everything seized, his balls tightening in a way that was almost painful. He let out a hoarse yell, the sound mingling with Nesta’s sharp, vulnerable cry as blessed relief flooded through every nerve ending. His cock throbbed, the pleasure so intense the breath was knocked from him, and he could do nothing but allow Nesta to ride out her own release as he came inside of her in forceful spurts.

When they were nothing but a mass of intertwined limbs and heaving, gasping lungs, Cassian cupped a palm to the back of her head. Nesta had not broken eye contact with him since she had shattered, but now she squeezed her eyes shut as she took the time to recover.

“Ok?” Cassian rasped gently.

He laid them back onto the bed and rolled them so they were both on their side. He was still inside of her, but his cock was softening, slowly slipping out of her body.

Neither of them moved as his come ran down both of their legs.

Eventually, Cassian brought his left wing down to drape over Nesta like a blanket, shielding her from… he didn’t know what.

Something.

Anything.

“Here.” Azriel appeared out of the shadows with a wet cloth in his hands, and Cassian begrudgingly retracted his wing as Nesta moved onto her back.

The shadowsinger was already dressed, having clearly picked up his clothing on the way to the bathroom. The top few buttons that were undone on his shirt were the only indication of what the three of them had just done.

When Nesta did not move, the shadowsinger quickly ran the cloth over her breasts and stomach, cleaning up the mess he had made. Then without a word, he handed it to Cassian. Even though Cassian was gentle, Nesta gasped as he wiped the cloth between her legs, her body shuddering with sensitivity, and she buried her face into the sheets to stifle the sound.

Cassian pressed a kiss to the wing bones of each hip in apology.

“I should head back.”

There was no remorse in the shadowsinger’s voice, but… that wariness was back. His movements even more measured than usual, as if he thought Cassian was unpredictable, ready to pounce and snarl at any given moment.

Cassian nodded. “Ok, I’ll see you here tomorrow.”

The shadowsinger briefly touched his hand to Nesta’s hair in goodbye, and before she could even contemplate lifting her head, he had folded into shadow.

“Sweetheart,” Cassian said softly, tracing a calloused thumb over high cheekbone. “Do you want me to move you to your bed?”

A small, immediate sound of disapproval reached Cassian’s ears as Nesta turned her face even further into the blanket.

“Come here then,” he murmured, his heart leaping against his ribcage as if it were trying to escape.

Gathering Nesta to his body, Cassian pulled her under the blankets with him. Surprise wound through him as she tucked herself up against him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them to be this close when they were not bedding the other. Her leg slipped between his, her face burying itself into the crook of his shoulder as she breathed him in, as if the scent of his skin brought her comfort.

Cassian brought his hand to wind into the hair at the base of her neck. Nesta’s loose braid was almost undone, and Cassian pulled the tie free from the ends. Slowly, he unravelled the remaining twists until her hair fell free, a golden brown sheen that ran through his fingers as he gently coaxed out the tangles.

Nesta made a sound that Cassian almost dissected as a purr, followed by a contented sigh into his neck, as if she were there to stay. But when he arched his wing over them, cocooning them in umber, she rolled her head back onto the pillow so she could survey them.

Everything went still inside of him as Nesta raised a curious hand, but he came to just in time, catching her wrist before her fingers brushed across the membrane.

He pressed his lips to her knuckles for a moment too long, watching her slight frown and the way she blinked blearily at him.

“Not yet,” he explained softly, but did not embellish further. Did not need to, as Nesta silently nestled back into his shoulder.

Weaving his fingers back into her hair, Cassian listened to the sound of her breathing until it became even.

Then, he lost her to darkness.

***

The trip to the Winter Court was only for three days but it felt like longer. Rather than making the most of the time with his friends, Cassian knew that his jovial mask did nothing to convince his nearest and dearest that he would rather be somewhere else entirely. Indeed, on multiple occasions, Cassian had fought the urge to beg Azriel to winnow him back to Illyria, just so he could check on Nesta.

His absence from her made his heart ache so terribly he felt as if he were in pain, and all he could think about was the way Nesta had still been asleep when he had left. How her fingers had unconsciously tightened around his arm as he had untangled his limb from hers.

He’d left her a note. Reminded her when he would be back.

As usual, he did not know where they stood or how she would react when he returned. But that same night, when midnight blue had began to bleed into the promise of dawn, Cassian had m woken to Nesta’s lips against his and her hand on his already hard cock. Even as sleep had clutched at him, he had rolled them so she was on her back, so he could stare into the stormy depths of her blue eyes which were still open rather than closed. When he had entered her, Nesta’s moan had been soft and satisfied, her hair traipsed across the pillow in a sheen of honey. She had been soaked, and Cassian had let out a long, low groan as pushed into the hilt, before rocking his hips lazily into hers until they both gasped and shattered.

Now, Cassian stared out from the frost-bitten balcony that surrounded the breakfast room at the Winter palace. The air was sharp enough to bite, but Cassian had forgone the roaring hearths to stare out at the view; the vast expanse of white that undulated for miles until it met the evergreen forest at its horizon.

Rhys had asked Azriel to leave early, to blend into shadows as the court’s spymaster and gather intelligence from the Illyrian camps, but Cassian heard the footsteps that were unmistakably Azriel’s as someone stepped out onto the balcony behind him.

They had not spoken about their union with Nesta. Their previous antics beneath the sheets had not been something they had ever discussed after they had taken place, but Cassian knew from the distance Azriel had been keeping from him ever since that this would not be like those other times.

Cassian did not turn as the shadowsinger stepped up to the wall of the stone balcony. It was wreathed in vines of ivy, the plant kissed with frost.

“Did you want to do it?”

Holding back a snort at the direct question, Cassian tracked the great, white polar bear which had padded out beneath the fur trees and tried not to think about the blinding pleasure that had whipped through him at his release, or the way that Nesta’s body had fit perfectly against his as they slept.

“Obviously,” Cassian drawled.

But Azriel steadied him with a look so searing Cassian finally had to meet the shadowsinger’s eyes.

“You’re mates,” Azriel announced.

A muscle feathered in Cassian’s jaw. “Yes.”

He’d never admitted aloud before, not even to himself.

But Azriel only dipped his chin at the confirmation. “I suspected, but when you initiated it all, I thought you couldn’t be, because there would be no way that you’d allow me to join you both otherwise.”

A harsh grunt sounded from Cassian’s throat. “You both wanted it. I wasn’t going to let you do it without me, was I?”

Azriel cocked his head at his brother. “You know I wouldn’t have done it without you. Nesta wouldn’t have done it without you.”

A pause. Then Azriel asked, “Does she know?”

A huff of misted breath. “You should have asked, Does she care?”

“She cares,” Azriel replied. “Her eyes have this hollow quality most of the time. But sometimes, when she looks at you, it’s as if you have woken her up.”

“She’s good for you,” Azriel dared to continue after a moment. “She doesn’t let you pretend.”

Cassian knew what Azriel was doing. Giving his blessing for a relationship nobody else seemed to understand but which the shadowsinger had now been privy to. Cassian wondered what it had been like from Azriel’s point-of-view, glimpsing those moments between he and Nesta that were so raw and vulnerable rather than guarded or fiery.

Cassian’s mouth tightened into a thin line. “It was hard,” he admitted eventually. “Not to be overly territorial.”

Azriel let out a rare chuckle. He did not mention the times in which Cassian had snarled or the furious way in which he had pummelled into Nesta when Azriel had come. But that was how it always was between he and Azriel, the two Illyrian bastards who had bonded from an upbringing of loneliness and a deprivation of love. No judgement. Only silent understanding.

The shadowsinger’s lips were still turned up at the corners as he pushed away from the railing. “Who knew you were so restrained,” he quipped lightly, his chilled voice perfect in the brisk snowy weather of the Winter Court. “I’ll see you in a week.”

And then he bled into shadow.

Tags: @arin1030 @superspiritfestival @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @mylittlebigplanet @biggestwingspan-az -az @bellsqueen @ekaterinakostrova @bookstantrash @prophecyerised @rainbowcheetah512 @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @iammissstark @lovelynesta @melphss @nestalytical @nestable @darkshadowqueensrule @laylaameer01 @a-trifling-matter @grouchycritic7794 @thalia-2-rose @champanheandluxxury @swankii-art-teacher @princessconsuela02 @lavendergoomsltd @little-diyosa @princessofmerchants-reads @jeakat @sjm-things @imwritingthesewords

#acotar #nesta x cassian #acosf #nessian #nessianfic #acomaf #acowar #cassian #embersandlightfic #nestaarcheron #Azriel #Azriel/Nesta/cassian #secret snowflake

129 notes · View notes

forthemorefortunate · 3 years

Text

Live Like Animals

Nessian Modern AU

Merry Chris- er, happy New Year to my secret snowflake! @ncssian 💕😅

I hope you like the fic! I’ll be honest, when I filled out the application for the secret snowflake, I said I could make a fic believing that it was very unlikely somebody would ask for one 🥴🤔 But lemme say, I LOVED writing this, which is definitely something I didn’t expect. More than that, I’ve never been much of a Nesta or Nessian fan, but actually thinking through their characters and interactions for this fic gave me a whole new perspective on and appreciation for them (even if I’m not the best at writing their characters, aha), so thank you!

A few quick things about the fic:

(Ik I already told you this, but for anybody else reading this aha) This is my first fic! So please take it easy on me 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Okay so this part is kind of weird, but there’s kind of a corresponding playlist 😅 Each part is named after a song. You can play the songs while reading or not, I know for me personally (*cough* my ADHD ass) it’s hard to listen to music and read at the same time. The title is also the name of a song! Except that one is more random, haha (I couldn’t think of a title, so I shuffled my entire library and chose the first song as the title, and it kinda worked so I went with it)

One more quick thing – thanks to @moussescientist @ko0mbayamylord @blxckbeak @chanberry @mikitheswiftie @potatoburp @dead-on-the-inside666 @queenoffortunes and two anons for answering a question, and a HUGE thanks to Skye, @oneoutofamillionbooklovers for all your help and for roleplaying the parts I got stuck on with me ❤️

Part 1: Distant Early Warning (Rush)

Nesta pulled the dress over her head, letting it slide into place over her body. Screw this, she thought for the millionth time, yet she continued to get herself ready, turning to glance at her reflection when she was finished. She raised an eyebrow and nodded slightly at the woman looking back through the mirror. The woman Nesta spied had on a satin slip dress, darkest blue. She wore no jewelry save for the small silver studs in her ears, and her hair was pulled into a neat-yet-simple updo.

Why Nesta even agreed to go to this party she didn’t know. There was nothing different about it, just another college booze fest. The music would be too loud, the air too heavy, the guys too grabby, and the company too... clubby. Feyre insisted that she would fit right into her friend group – her clique – but Nesta wasn’t sure she wanted that. She padded over to the door of her apartment. No, Nesta was quite certain that “fitting in” with Feyre’s newfound friends was something she didn’t care for at all.

Nesta’s phone buzzed on her kitchen counter as she slipped on a pair of black heels, and she picked up to Feyre’s forcibly perky voice. “Hey! We just pulled up, you coming?”

“No.” Response blunt, tone dry. The line was silent for a long moment, and Nesta held in a sigh. “Did I give you the impression that I was interested in coming?”

“Nesta, I’m not in the mood for fucking around,” Feyre said, perkiness mysteriously faded now. “It’s just one party! I promise you’ll have fun.” Bullshit.

“Since when have I ever-”

“And everyone else really wants you to come, too!” Feyre cut her off, “Rhys is excited to meet you!”

Rhys. Feyre’s boyfriend. Nesta groaned inwardly, truly dreading any interaction with the rugby star. Feyre had immediately caught the eye of the local heartthrob, and the two began a serious relationship shortly after meeting. And with one came the others. In high school they would have been labeled “popular.” They were quite possibly the closest group of friends at the college, almost all of them having known each other since childhood. And Feyre had slipped right in among them. Nesta had warned Feyre against making the tight pack of fourth-years her main group of friends, and she had her own opinions about a freshman dating a senior, but Feyre didn’t make a habit of following Nesta’s advice. Rather, she seemed to think she could give Nesta – a third-year – much more valuable guidance. Domineering bitch.

“I don’t give a shit about your friends, Feyre. I’m only coming because of our deal,” Nesta said. Feyre had been pestering her all semester, spewing crap about how Nesta and Feyre should spend more time together. Nesta should get out more. Nesta should tag along with Feyre’s friend group. Nesta should have some fun.

More bullshit.

As second semester began, Feyre had proposed a deal: Nesta would go to one party with Feyre and her buddies, and if she honestly didn’t enjoy it, Feyre would stop asking her to join them.

“I’m on my way. Let’s just get it over with,” Nesta grumbled, and with that, she hung up the phone and opened the apartment door.

Part 2: Can You Afford to Be An Individual? (Nothing but Thieves

Nesta looked around the group of fourth-years–plus Feyre–arranged in front of her. Introductions were unnecessary; you couldn’t attend this school without knowing who they were. Her eyes fell first upon Rhys, his arm around Feyre’s waist. His chin lifted slightly as she made eye contact. Rhys: double major in history and foreign policy. President of the astrology club. Captain of the rugby team, possibly one of the best players the school had ever seen. He was the group leader, though nobody said it aloud. Nesta knew him well. Perhaps she only knew his type well, or her own perception of his type, but that didn’t keep her from holding his gaze a few moments longer than would be comfortable. Then she turned her scrutiny on his sidekicks, so she called them, Cassian and Azriel. The former wore jeans and a baggy black jacket over his rugby uniform in the school colors: black and red. The latter wore black pants with a dark blue button-down shirt untucked.

Cassian smirked as her eyes met his. “Glad you decided to make an appearance,” he drawled. She narrowed her eyes at him, and his smile widened in response. Cocky bastard. Azriel, double majoring in political science and criminology, simply nodded at her in greeting.

After the sidekicks came Rhys’s cousin Mor, an architecture major with a minor in design. She was entirely too peppy in a way that left Nesta exhausted, but Nesta wouldn’t give her satisfaction by scoffing at her cocked hip and half-grin, ostensibly projecting confidence. She held Mor’s stare, matching her asserted confidence with a cool security in her own assets. The half-smile twisted, just slightly, and Nesta moved on to the short girl farthest to the right: Amren.

Amren scared people. As in, people were genuinely freaked out by her. Aside from a few cultish tendencies, her occasional propensity for violence and/or verbal outbursts, and her sharp expression, though, Nesta couldn’t tell why. Amren majored in gemology and minored in linguistics, and was the only one in the group other than Feyre to have not known the others since they were little. In fact, she was studying here from abroad, though nobody actually knew where she was from. Unlike Mor, Amren presented a confidence that Nesta could believe in and respect. Nesta maintained her chilled posture, but let the bite in her expression retreat.

As for Feyre’s introducing Nesta, that was unnecessary as well. They all knew her; most upperclassmen did. Or rather they knew of her, by the name of heinous bitch. If she were being honest with herself, she didn’t mind the nickname.

“Okay,” Feyre started, her voice expectant as she tilted her chin to look at Rhys’s face, “Let’s head in?” Feyre, Rhys, and Nesta had met up with the rest of the group in the parking lot before they entered the party. Fashionably late, Feyre had told her on the drive in Rhys’s tesla. Rhys taught me that the key to maintaining his public image is in making grand entrances. God, Nesta wanted to laugh at Rhys’s influence over her.

As they entered the building holding the party Nesta immediately stiffened, and had to close her eyes for a moment against the harsh blue and purple lights cast by PAR cans. All senses at once were smacked by the presence of weed. The floor was vibrating, and speakers blasted near-deafening music so that all Nesta could really hear was thunder. Jesus Christ, I hate parties, she thought. A mass of sweaty bodies shifted and bounced through the too-heavy air ahead of her, some only silhouettes in the murky haze, through which Nesta saw red solo cups littering every possible surface. Suddenly she noticed Feyre standing next to her, fidgeting with her clutch and looking over expectantly. Nesta shot her a withering look that said, “This is not what we agreed to.” Feyre had the nerve to look guilty.

“Okay before you say anything,” Feyre began, “I know that look, and... I know this is a bit bigger than we talked about-”

“A bit?! This is a rager, Feyre. Do I look like I rage?”

“Okay no, but I promise Rhys and I have a plan.” Oh my God.

Nesta gave her another glare and plucked a cup off a nearby table. Sniffing it, she sighed and took a big swig. “Please, my dearest sister, do tell.”

“We’re going with a buddy system.”

Nesta coughed. “A buddy system – are you fucking kidding me?” She spied Rhys and his dickhead friends in the corner of her eye. “Wow, are arts and crafts before or after beer pong?”

Feyre rolled her eyes, calling a fresh wave of frustration to roll over Nesta. “Can you shut it with the attitude, Nesta? I already apologized for the crowd of people – it kind of got out of hand. Rhys told me before we left but I didn’t want to scare you out of coming.” She gave Nesta a pleading look.

“Tch, whatever. Who’s my buddy? I assume you’ll be with Rhys?”

Feyre beamed at her. “You’re paired up with Cassian!”

“Cassian.” Great. Alpha dickhead.

“Don’t be like that. He knows his way around these things and he’ll keep you from accidentally overdosing or blacking out.”

“Who said that wasn’t my intention?”

Feyre scrunched her face up. “Either way, you can’t deny that he’s bigger and taller than half the creepy guys here. He’ll keep unwanted attention away.”

Nesta watched as Rhys, lead hulking rugby bro dickhead, caught sight of her sister and eyed her with what might have been lust or love – Nesta couldn’t decide. Cassian, approaching from Rhys’s side, cut Nesta a slow, purposeful look down and back up to her face. She felt an annoying tingle down her spine as the crowds parted for them. This was going to be a long night.

Part 3: Inhaler (Foals)

They had been at the party for less than ten minutes and Nesta already wanted to leave. Drink in hand, she aimlessly wandered around the outskirts of the crowd, hoping to find a place to sit farther from the lights that drowned out any rational thought that flashed through her brain. Cassian trailed a few steps behind.

“So, what do you do for fun?”

She twisted around to glare at him. “Why are you talking to me?”

Cassian puffed out a laugh and spread his arms wide, responding, “If you don’t recall, we’re kind of stuck together, darling.”

Right. Nesta rolled her eyes. “How could I forget?” Cassian left the question hanging, still following her, so she forged on. “I like to read. A concept that’s probably foreign to you.” She dodged a young couple parting from the fray to make out against the wall, and paused to reorient herself.

“You might be surprised.” Nesta groaned inwardly and arched a brow. “Oh I have no doubt.”

“None at all?”

“What. Are you on volume seven of Captain Underpants?”

“Volume eight, actually.”

Nesta stopped. She was pissed. Pissed at this party, pissed at Feyre for lying about how big it was, pissed that she was stuck with rugby bro sidekick, pissed that the purple lights suddenly seemed a lot brighter, the music a lot louder, her thoughts a lot fuzzier. “Look, Cassian. I only came here as a favor to my sister. We’re not friends.” He started to cut her off, but she continued, turning so that they fully faced each other, “You don’t have to stay, I can take care of myself.”

He leaned in close, the laughter in his tone suddenly gone. “Listen, princess. You’ve had two beers and you’re already tipsy. I get it, we’re not friends. But there are at least four guys looking at you like they want to take you against the nearest surface and I’m the only man within a thirty-foot radius that has any self-control. There’s no way I’m leaving.” He held her gaze firmly.

“So that’s it – I’m just supposed to trust you? My knight in shining armor, here to protect my virtue? That ship sailed a long time ago.” Fuck it. “I wouldn’t mind taking you for a ride though,” Nesta said, flashing a smirk at the end.

Cassian’s lips twisted into a half-grin, but she could see annoyance rising up in his eyes. “Nesta, you don’t wanna play with me.”

“Brute.” Nesta turned and started walking away again.

“Bitch.” He followed.

Nesta scoffed. “How original.”

“Not all of us are English Lit majors.”

Somehow Nesta tripped on her own foot at that moment, staggering sideways into Cassian’s path. He lunged forward, arms going around her waist to hoist her upright. Her lip curled and she spit out, “And not all of us are rugby stars,” and shoved her way out of his arms.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Cassian asked, incredulous.

“Cassian, I’m sure there are plenty of girls here that would love your attention. But I’m not one of them.” She turned around to face him, walking backwards, and almost tripped again. “So go on and play with someone else. I don’t care. Just leave me alone.” With that, Nesta thrust herself into the fray, pushing her way through the mass of shouting people, making the crowd a barrier between herself and Cassian.

Part 4: Emergency (Nothing but Thieves)

After five minutes of random college students bumping into her from every direction, her head pounding and thoughts muddled, Nesta realized she didn’t know which direction the exit was in. Fuck. She was disoriented and exasperated, her frustration now showing in her usually unshakable expression. She couldn’t even tell which direction the light was coming from. How many beers had she drunk? Two? Three? She wasn’t usually a drinker, and it hit her then that she hadn’t eaten for hours before the party started. Stupid, she thought. This was why she didn’t do parties.

She was so distracted trying to figure out where the light source was, trying to get her bearings at least, that she didn’t catch sight of a brooding figure wending its way toward her until the man had a hold of her wrist and was pulling her to the side of the room, wherever that was.

“Hey! Get the fuck off me!” Nesta shouted over the crowd, but couldn’t get a response from the man until they found one of the cinder block walls.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice cruel as he tried to pull her closer. “We’re just having a bit of fun, that’s all.”

“Excuse me?” Nesta ripped free of his grasp, but he backed her into a corner. He had a drink in one hand. Not good.

“Hey, hey, no need to get worked up,” he drawled, “I saw the way you were looking at me.” Looking at him? Nesta thought. This was the first she’d seen of him.

Nesta tried to step to the side, but the man followed her, his senses keener than hers in her condition. He reached out for her arm again, and Nesta shouted this time. “Don’t touch me!”

He put his hand up as if in innocence. “Come now, I’ll make it fun for you. Just have a drink.” He brought the cup toward her face, his hand now reaching behind her head, which she snatched away.

“I swear to God, can’t you bastards understand that no means no?”

“You-”

“Get the fuck away from me, creep!” She aimed a kick at his groin, but he easily dodged it.

His mouth hardened into a line, and he growled, “Just take the damn drink, bitch!”

The man shoved her into the corner, her head hitting the wall. He brought his hand up to hold her back by her shoulders as he brought the cup up toward her lips and-

“Let me go or I promise you’ll regret it.” Last resort.

He shot her a crooked grin and began to reply, but whatever response he had in mind was cut short.

A voice from behind him said, “And she never goes back on a promise, asshole.” The man was wrenched off her body by two strong hands, and pulled over to the side to give her an out, which she quickly took advantage of.

And there, dragging the man away from her, was Cassian.

The creep tried to play it cool. “Hey, Cassian, bro, what’s up, man?” he said mock-casually, “I caught your last game! great playing, dude!” His demeanor shifted completely as he turned on his bro mode.

Cassian’s jaw was set. He tightened his grip on the man’s shoulder, his stare withering. “You need to leave. Right now.”

Yet the man kept going with a smirk, “It’s all good bro, we can share.”

That was a step too far.

Cassian grabbed the man’s shirt, pulling him close. “That’s the thing – I don’t share. I don’t play nice.” Cassian thrust his face forward so they were only a couple inches apart. “You said you caught my last game, right? So you know I don’t go down without a fight. Touch her again and you’ll regret it.” With that, he shoved the guy into a table, and turned to Nesta. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

Part 5: Before We Drift Away (Nothing but Thieves)

Dizzy and shaken, Nesta let Cassian guide her through the crowd to the exit. Once they were outside in the cool night air, he pulled her aside, gaze dark.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did he force you to drink whatever was in that cup?”

“No.”

His eyes closed and relief flooded across his face. “Good. God, some people are fucked up. I don’t know what I would have done if he had drugged you, or taken you away, or...” He trailed off, leaving anything further than that unsaid.

They were silent for a minute. Nesta looked up at him, a bit of worry still etched across his features. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you care so much?”

He looked over to her, something strange in his expression that Nesta couldn’t place. “I don’t know. You’re a human being, and your safety was left in my hands.” He paused and looked away. “If I’m being honest, when I saw that guy put his hands on you... I don’t know. Something flipped inside me.” At that moment he looked down to her bare shoulders, noticing that she was beginning to shiver. “You’re cold,” he said softly. “Here, take this.” He removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders, even when she protested.

Nesta frowned as she gave in and pulled his jacket tightly around her, annoyed at the way her body betrayed her. “I don’t need protection. I’ve lived a long time without people to care about me.” She started walking toward the parking lot, and he followed.

“You shouldn’t have to live like that, Nesta. You’ve been pushing me away all night, but listen to me – don’t you understand? I’m not just talking to you because I’m bored. I don’t smile at you as a game, as if you’re some prize for me to win. Can’t you see by now that I’m doing literally everything I can just to stay by your side? Damn it, I asked Feyre to pair us together at the party.”

Nesta had stopped walking and was speechless for once.

Cassian stepped closer tentatively, as though she’d back away. He ran a finger over Nesta’s wrist and looked up to the sky. “Please, just don’t make me say anything else completely insane. I promise I’m not in the habit of sharing intense moments with perfect strangers.”

A rush of anger coursed through Nesta, and she shoved him back. “Don’t,” she said. “Don’t talk to me like that. Despite what you must think, I’m not an idiot. I’m not naive. I am well aware that this is all a favor to my sister. Stay with my lame, antisocial sister. It might be fun, right?” She paused, any restraint she had used earlier having completely abandoned her.

“That’s not what I think at all, Nes-”

“Fuck you, Cassian.” She shoved him again, more aggressively this time.

Cassian caught her wrists and pulled her closer. “Try that again.”

Nesta glared. “Bite me,” she spit out.

“Maybe I will.”

And as though drawn to her by some gravitational force, Cassian’s mouth came crashing down onto hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist, seeming to lift her off her feet. Nesta’s bare skin burned where Cassian touched her, and she pushed back against his touch to gain control. Everything, every thought was fading to nothing. Biting down on his lip drew out a low groan from Cassian, and Nesta broke free.

Cassian put his hands up as though to make a barrier between them, as though he wouldn’t be able to control himself without it.

“So much for being the only man with self-control,” Nesta said. Cassian just shook his head, earning a light snort from Nesta. “I shut everyone out--even pretty jocks like you. Don’t take it personally. It’s just easier.”

Cassian smiled his easy smile, and he reached up to touch his lips with a thumb. “You think I’m pretty?”

Nesta scoffed. “The prettiest.”

He stood there for a moment, just smiling at her, before turning back toward the parking lot. “Okay, princess, allow me to introduce you to the pinnacle of after-party activities.”

Nesta raised a brow, and Cassian let out a bark of laughter.

“Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about pancakes.”

She looked skeptical. “Pancakes?”

“Yes. And after the night you had, you deserve an entire plate of them.” Cassian reached out to her with his big, warm hand, and Nesta hesitated.

“Cassian-” She started warily.

“Hey – I’m not asking you to marry me, it’s just pancakes.”

Nesta waited a moment more, then took his hand. “Fine. But I’m not sharing the chocolate sauce.”

“I wouldn’t dare ask you to. Besides, you already know how I feel about sharing.”

Nesta smiled a bit. “Hey Cassian?

“Yes Nesta?”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

70 notes · View notes

acciomanorian · 3 years

Text

New Year’s Eve - Nessian

Here is part two of your present this year Sim @perseusannabeth. Sorry it’s so late, but I had some family things that happened on new years, and then moving for school, that I just wasn’t really in a writing mood. But I finally finished so I hope you love it!! It’s a Nessian fic, so I hope you really enjoy it!!

8:00 am, December 31, 2020

Nesta Archeron woke up with a start as her alarm clock blared in her ears. She was in no hurry to get up, instead choosing to lie in bed for some extra minutes, and warmth, had it not been for the insistent pounding on her door. Nesta threw off her comforter, and pulled on her Harvard Alumni sweatshirt, before pulling her hair into a messy bun and making her way to the door of her one bedroom apartment..

“Nesta!” The familiar voice calling through the door made Nesta smile, even if she did have to leave the warmth of her bed.

Nesta opened the door to find her best friend standing there, with a warm latte in one hand, and a bagel bag in the other. Of course, Cassian would know the exact things to get her out of bed and ready for the morning.

“Cassian, you do realize that it’s eight o’clock in the morning, and that not everybody has to work on New Year’s Eve?” Cassian only grinned, and held up the coffee cup, before pushing through the door and into Nesta’s morning.

1:30 pm, December 31, 2020

“Feyre, calm down… No, there is no reason to worry… Yes, your party is going to be fine. I’m bringing the alcohol, and Elain has the pizza pick up. Remember, there’s only gonna be the eight of us… Yes, nine if Mor brings her girlfriend. Oh wait, isn’t Amren going to Varian’s?... Okay, I’ve gotta go. Cass is banging on my door, again. Love you, bye.”

Nesta sighed as she finally disconnected the call with her sister. Feyre and her husband Rhys were hosting their annual New Year’s Eve get together this year, and Nesta’s little sister was stressing, hardcore. Nesta didn’t know why though, considering the pair had been hosting every year since they had gotten together.

A crash as something, or someone, heavy barged through the door. “Cassian! What the fuck? Did you just break my door?”

“Wouldn’t that be funny,” he laughed, his amber eyes shining. “But no. I did not. I did bring you a gift, however.” Cassian held up a small package in his hands, wrapped nicely with a red bow.

“A Christmas present. Cass, it’s New Years, not Christmas. Plus, you already gave me that.”

“What, I can’t give my best friend a present on New Year’s too? C’mon Nes, you know you want it.” Nesta grinned and grabbed the package out of his hands. She greedily ripped open the package, only to find the most unexpected object inside.

“A dildo?!” she asked incredulously, throwing the box on the counter as Cassian roared with laughter.

“Thought you would appreciate that,” Cass said between breaths, leaning onto the table to support himself.

“Yeah, real appreciation.” Turning towards her room, Nesta didn’t fight to hide the smile showing on her face, both at the absurdity of the gift, and at her best friend's utter recklessness. This was certainly turning out to be an interesting New Years.

4:30 pm, December 31, 2020

Nesta jumped a little at the site of Cassian laying on her couch, beer in one hand, book in the other. Of course she knew that he had stayed while she had gotten ready for Feyre’s party, but to find him reading, let alone it being the romance novel that she had kept on the table. Certainly was a surprise.

“Can we go yet?” Cassian groaned, getting up from his position, and placing the book back on the coffee table, cover side up, showing Nesta’s current favorite book, The Roommates.

“Yes, you oaf. Let’s go.” Cassian jumped up from the couch and rushed to the door, before remembering that he should let Nesta leave first. Ever the gentleman, she thought, a small smirk on her face.

It didn’t take long for the pair to reach Feyre and Rhys’ home, and Cassian was wearing a shit-eating grin as he waited for his brother-from-another-mother to open the door (as he liked to call Rhys and Azriel). Of course, with alcohol involved, the three would most likely be getting into a lot of trouble. It would be up to Nesta, Feyre, and Azriel’s girlfriend to keep them under control, at least until the new year.

The front door opened to a man, tan with violet eyes, a party hat on his head, which he promptly transferred to Nesta’s head. “Everyone’s here now, let's party!” Rhysand explained, pulling Cassian into the house, who grabbed Nesta’s arm and pulled her too.

It was a whirlwind of motion once Nesta and Cassian were already in the house, with Cass being pushed in the direction of the living room, and Az standing by the fireplace, nursing what appeared to be a whiskey, while Nesta was pulled from behind, into the kitchen, where all the women were sitting, gossiping over wine. From the looks of it, Feyre and Mor, the first to be here, were already on their second or third glass.

“Looks like I’ve got some catching up to do,” Nesta laughed, giving Elain a hug as she passed her, and then picking up her own wine glass. As Nesta was about to sit, she heard a roar from the living room, followed by what sounded like the word “present” in Cassian’s voice. “Bastard,” she muttered under her breath. At the stares she received from the women around her, Nesta went into the story of her New Year’s Eve gift from her idiotic best friend.

11:45 pm, December 31, 2020

Everyone was beginning to wind down now, watching as the Dick Clark New Year’s Eve show was awaiting the dropping of the ball. Feyre and Rhys were cuddling on a chair, whispering to each other, as were Mor and her girlfriend, Rita. Az was MIA, probably sleeping off the alcohol he’d dranken earlier due to his loss in beer pong. Elain was on the phone, probably talking to Lucien who was in the Army, and oversees. Meanwhile Nesta and Cassian were sitting on the couch, Nestas head resting on Cass’ shoulder as he hummed along to whatever song was playing on the tv.

Slowly the group watched the clock count down. Elain had gone off to wake Azriel up so that the group could celebrate together, and now they waited as the final minutes of 2020 came to a close.

Too tired to realize, Nesta didn’t notice the way Cass looked at her as she laid across his lap, the heat in his eyes. But as the clock reached one minute, Nesta began to imagine how it would feel to have Cassian’s lips on hers, wondering if he felt the same way about her.

11:59:10, December 31, 2020

“10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Year!” The whole house erupted in celebration. Nesta was moved around in quick hugs, before finally finding herself face to face with Cassian.

“Happy New Year, Nes,” he said quietly, before closing the gap between them, his lips finding hers, in front of all their family and friends. Someone whistled, probably Rhys, before he was shushed and presumably pushed out of the room, if the tripping sound had anything to say.

Nesta breathed heavily when they finally parted, her cheeks reddening, but a smile upon her face. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to kiss you?” Cassian asked. Nesta just shook her head.

“Since the day I met you, when you pushed me out of your seat cause I was flirting with Feyre. “Nesta laughed, before pulling his face back to hers. Suddenly, she was excited about what the new year would bring.

Tag List: If you want to be added or removed just send me an ask!

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @theoceanfaewriter @snusbandxknifewife @starborn-faerie-queen @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @clockworkgraystairs @illyrianwitchling @b00kworm @poeticbrownmermaid @misskillerdarkness @addies-invisible-life @jurdanhell @chococannolii @elephantinparis @graciebellabutterfly @augustintodarkness @briarspoet @niksfaythe @simping4bookboisngrls @perseusannabeth

#tusermonique #c: nesta archeron #c: cassian #t: fic #s:nessian #f: acotar #a: sarah j maas #secret snowflake 2020

43 notes · View notes

ladynestaarcheron · 3 years

Text

Hello! So, I have finished making the list, and am in the process of sending out messages with people’s snowflakes. Unfortunately, my Tumblr has stopped allowing me to send private messages, and there’s a limit on how many asks you can send per hour (I had to use my main, @lizotwostars), so not everyone has received their snowflake yet. You all will by tomorrow at the absolute latest, I assure you.

However, I did notice while sending asks to your blogs, not all of you have anon enabled. Please, right now, enable it on your blog. If you don’t know how, here is an instruction: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/231857168-Ask

Now, what do you do?

Send your snowflake (snowflake-ee? whatever, you guys decide) an anonymous message introducing yourself! Drop by in their inbox every few days or so to say hello. You can be as cute or as cryptic as you want. Anything you think is fun, go for it. If you’re writing them a fic, maybe send them excerpts throughout the whole of the month. Literally, any idea you have that sounds fun to you, go crazy!

As to what you have to give them: you are only obligated to make one gift. So one fic or one edit or one playlist, etc. Have you more time on your hands? Do you yourself get joy out of creating multiple graphics? Then by all means, make them more than one thing!

When you give it to them: like I said, be a chatty anon in their inbox throughout December, but make sure your gift is ready the last week of the year! This is not a Christmas themed gift exchange, and you do not have to have it ready on Christmas. December 24-31 is fine.

Please let me know if you have anymore questions, and have fun!!

(Less fun: if, for whatever reason, you don’t get messaged by your snowflake by Saturday at the very latest, message me so I can sort it out.)

Tagging everyone under the cut so everyone sees this:

@forthemorefortunate @autophobiaxx @julemmaes @darlinminds @tomtenadia @g-perla @starborn-faerie-queen @potatoburp @simping4bookboisngrls @blade-given-form @duskandstarlight @anidealiveson @cmmatz @nestamysweetheart @kittyxherondale @mikitheswiftie @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares @illyrianwitchling @ncssian @perseusannabeth @sayosdreams @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves @addies-invisible-life @feyesand @oneoutofamillionbooklovers @moprocrastinates @darkshadowqueensrule @illyrian-lover-flower @theoceanfaewriter @nesta-stan @galvingirl

#acotar secret snowflake #y'all i'm not playing check to make sure anon is on the moment you get on your laptops

25 notes · View notes

illyrian-lover-flower · 3 years

Text

My partner on four paws

Hi, @autophobiaxx - this is your second gift and honestly I am not quiet as happy with this one as with the first one.

But I still had my fun writing it, sipmly because it was something entirly new to me. The end might seem a bit rushed though ... I still hope you enjoy it😘.

Word count (note not included): 8. 382

“Sorry we are late. I had to call my other sister to give me a ride, because the one who actually wanted to drive me here is still stuck at the vet.” introduced a woman herself as she walked up to our table. Another one, that looked almost like her, close at her heels. A sceptical look on her face with which she eyed our little round.

Though most of her attention belonged to Rhys, who answered the kinder looking one with a blinding smile and sparkling violet eyes; “It’s fine Feyre, darling. We are just glad you and the lovely sister of yours have found the way to us.”

The one with the sceptical look only scoffed at him and took up the seat between Cassian and Mor, right opposite of her younger sister I would guess - by the assessing look she gave Rhysand. His form shifting uneasily as he moved to pull the chair out for Feyre.

Her storm grey eyes looked worriedly around between the group of people who sat at the long table. But those concerned eyes soon found peace as she saw Rhys violet ones. A calming gaze and a careful nod all she needed to feel safe and comfortable while the rest of us eyed her and her connection to our brother.

Cassian looked at her a bit sceptical, though he was always able to hide that well behind a smile. Amren, next to her, was fully aware of the sharp look she gave her. Letting our guest squirmed under the pressure of her silver eyes while Morrigan’s kind brown, almost gold, ones rested calmy on her. An assessing kind smile on her red lips as she took in the one that was in the middle of Rhysand’s attention.

I couldn’t really concentrate on her. On anything to be honest.

Though I do have to admit she looked kind and seemed to have somewhat of a chemistry with our brother, so there is probably no reason to be worried about her. And if she is the one Rhysand rambled on about the entire day when I had called him, to ask when exactly we would meet up, then she would surely be the right one for him.

His rambles honestly annoyed me at that point. The rambled apologies of a clumsy trainee still ringing in my ear when he started it too.

Three people in a day that rambled at me. One I barely knew, but didn’t like. My brother and a woman that had ran into me today and tackled me to the ground.

Those soft words she chose so clumsily still printed in my brain. The entire scene, from just two hours ago, replying itself over and over again in my head.

This mushy brain of mine having memorized every little freckle on her pale skin. The warm colour play of brown in those soft orbs of hers still catching my breath if I only thought about them. Gold, hazelnut, caramel and gingerbread swirling and chasing around in her Irises. A cosy feeling having settled into my guts when I had seen them.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentleman. What can I bring you for tonight?” suddenly called me out of my thoughts the waitress, that stood at our table. Luckily Mor was engaged in a lively conversation with the rest of the table that no one had time to look at the menu and pick something to eat, so we ordered our drinks in peace.

The absence of my attention luckily fallen under the table as no one noticed it.

‘This would become one hell of a long evening.’ I thought to myself, already rubbing tiredly at my eyes as I studied the menu. In the end I went with the same I always chose and let my mind wonder back out the window. My eyes seeing, but also not recognizing the heavy rain that poured outside on the street.

Couples with no umbrellas hurrying to get back home from a date or simply a walk, while those people with umbrellas walked calmy among the sidewalks. Crossing the streets and the fallen leaves of fall with a light easiness. Enjoying the drum of the rain on the fabric that kept them dry.

Red, blue, yellow, orange, dotted and striped umbrellas walking past the window of Rita’s.

‘I wonder what she is doing.’ ‘If she managed to get back home dry?’ ‘Had her puppy escaped her again?’

I long knew that my thoughts were a tousled mess. A net full of thoughts that kept circling around a woman I didn’t even know the name of while I occasionally tried to listen to the conversation. Knowing now that those who sat at our table were Nesta and Feyre Archeron. The oldest and the youngest of three sisters, their middle sister still stuck somewhere. At the vet if I remembered Feyre’s introduction right.

Who in their right mind is making an appointment with the vet at seven in the evening? Perhaps she was a business-oriented woman with little time - who knows. Feyre and Nesta, both, did not lose a word about her.

No name, no age, no mention of their middle sister as the evening aged.

Mor already all bubbly with Feyre as she admitted “I honestly had not thought that I would have the pleasure to one day meet my cousins Girlfriend.” she chuckled “Up until this point I had thought this one would die alone on his couch claiming ‘I have never met my soulmate!’”

Feyre only coughed at that while Rhysand seemed to shift around on his chair. Nervous violet eyes looking everywhere but his cousin. For a moment, so it seemed, he searched for help in my hazel eyes. Pleading me silently to do something about it, but I barely had anything at the tip of my tongue when I had a good day. With this bad day lurking above my head, I couldn’t think of anything to get the attention off of him and bring it to me.

The thought alone of all of their attention on me gave me the chills. So, Rhys needed to pull through that one alone.

A nervous gaze turned to Feyre capturing the attention of all of us. Even mine, if only for second.

“Feyre is actually my Fiancé...”

At this point I was actually glad I paid attention to them, because otherwise the wet spray of cola and red wine, that erupted from Cassian and Amren, would have confused me. But I guess one of the things that will make me remember this evening even in a year, were Nesta and Morrigan.

Both rising to their full hight, while Feyre and Rhysand seemed to wish for a hole that would swallow them whole. I luckily only had a quiet coughing fit in my silent corner. It was a fracture of seconds until the whole scenario escalated.

Nesta standing opposite her sister, like the iceberg that caused the Titanic to sink, with crossed arms, while Morrigan was the whole opposite of her. Where Nesta waited for her prey to defend herself and let her dwell in coldness until she did so, did Morrigan leap across the table and pulled her cousin up by his collar.

Her burning embers meeting slightly frightened violet eyes. “When the hell did you plan on telling us that?!” “Today.” he mumbled, slightly chocked by the collar his cousin had a death grip on.

The steel eyes of Nesta wandered for a brief second to Rhysand before she turned back to Feyre. Tired of her quietness she asked a question each of us wondered about “How long have you been dating anyway?”

“Will you let him go once I answer? Because, you know – I still would like to marry him soon.” Mor only scoffed at her cousin and shoved him back into his seat. Taking hers together with Nesta.

Fire and ice having a weird play with the nerves of all of us.

Though at this point I would say Feyre and Rhys had luck on their side, as Cassian still recovered from his coughing fit, else an embarrassing stream of questions would have flooded their way.

Amren –who had moved to the seat opposite of me- occasionally coughed in her glass of wine as she tried to get as far away from the lovebirds as possible.

“We have been dating sine one and a half year.” declared Feyre proudly. Earning herself a coughing fit from Cass again, who I started to smack on his back. Hoping it would go away sooner.

While Mor only sighed, “Why hasn’t anyone of you said something earlier? Because, like it looked to me, your sister didn’t seem to know about your engagement too.”

Nesta only chuckled humourless, answering Morrigan without her ever having asked a question to the steeled woman “When Feyre told me we would meet someone; I had been assuming it was her boyfriend. Not her Fiancé. She was fidgeting after all, so she gave herself away that it was someone important – though I hadn’t thought that important.”

Feyre only blushed as she found out of her sisters' knowledge.

‘I wonder, who is going to tell their other sister?’

But no one seemed to mind that. The table falling back into a comfortable atmosphere once Nesta and Mor took a sip from their wine goblets. Though Amren couldn’t bring herself to swallow down a snappish comment “Do we need to know about another year and a half, in which you had been engaged?”

“We are only engaged since yesterday!” yelled both quickly, easing the stiff rise of Nesta's and Morrigan's shoulders.

“That’s why you had googled ‘Ways to propose to someone?’” Rhys spat out his water at Cassian, gaping at him from the front of the table. His beloved Fiancé trying to surpass her giggles, while Mor and Amren had absolutely no problem with bursting out into laughter.

The dark and the bright one, of our group, turning their voices into a cackling symphony of laughter.

I myself not quite able to hide a quiet chuckle as I looked out of the window again. Rhys yelled question “What the hell are you doing on my laptop?!” the last thing I heard before fully focusing on the scenery in front of me.

It was quiet a lively picture, despite the late hour. Perhaps it was eight now and yet there were still hundreds of cars, their bright headlights getting reflected by the rain that soaked the bussy streets as they drove all around of Velaris. Occasionally I could make out a man or a woman at the steering wheel, talking into a headset while they drove to work or home.

‘I wonder as what she works?’

I found myself wondering again. A humourless chuckle escaped me as Amren kicked my shin carefully ‘I should wander what her name is.’

“Are you alright, Shadow?” she only whispered the question. Well aware that our group of friends would turn their attention immediately to us once they heard her nickname for me.

It symbolized them that something was very wrong and that I was about to become an empty shadow of who I actually am. Amren had found out about this pretty soon, though she never really pried.

I still can’t tell if she did it to tell me my guard was too low or if she truly worried about me.

A sigh was all I could give her as I rubbed at my temple. “You know, the usual hectic day at work. A broken-down printer, a trainee who spilled coffee over the few printed documents all the while I had my boss waiting in his office for an article that was due till yesterday.”

“Need a glass of wine?”

“No, I still got to walk home.” “I have to drive home.” she simply answered. Finishing her, perhaps, second glass of wine. Maybe it was already the third.

If it would have been anybody else than Amren, I would not be that calm with her having to say ‘I am driving home.’. Simply because I knew she could handle her alcohol well. Amren might have been the shortest one of us, but she could drink each of us under the table and still walk straight out the front door.

But she was a careful driver and I knew if she drank her second glass already, Varian would be on short call tonight.

Shaking my head, with a chuckle on my lips, at the black-haired woman. A sudden ‘ping’ captured the attention of the entire table. All our eyes going to the oldest Archeron who rummaged through her little purse for her phone. Not batting an eyelash at each of us as the phone kept her attention.

Cassian slowly leaned over her shoulder, to peer at the screen as a whistle escaped him and a sigh Nesta. She already wanted to put her phone away, when my other brother spoke up. “Why haven't you brought your kid with you?”

Feyre chocked on her wine, while her sister looked at him as if he had grown another head.

Weird, somewhere I had seen this look before.

“Excuse me?”

He pointed to Nesta’s phone. Her screen saver still on the view for all of us and soon had us all awing. Just not me as I saw the little infant on the screen.

Dressed in a red woollen dress with black woollen thighs and reindeer horns atop of her honey golden hair, she smiled into the camera. The chubby face of the infant all alight as red colour-that was once only placed on her nose- was smeared all across her face. A Golden Retriever standing proudly behind her, as it seemed to smile in the camera too.

A phantom feeling suddenly lay itself over my cheek. Memories of far forgotten times coming hurriedly back to the front, like a thunderstorm, as I felt it again. The soft nuzzle of her nose into my hollow cheek and her reindeer horns pinching me in the eyes.

My bandaged hands holding onto the little ball of sunshine. That gave a frightened six-year-old me, that hadn’t known of anything despite the basement of my father, something to hold onto.

This little body of hers, that lived in freedom for the year or so which she jumped around on this world, an anchor for me. Who suddenly noticed, that the world was more than just a dark basement and that there were more emotions than anger and hate.

Happiness seeming to wave off of her as she claimed me in a hug.

A hug.

When I was little, I hadn’t even known something like that existed. Now as I thought back to my childhood, my mother had given me a hug only a few times, before she was let in the basement again the next week with bruises all over her body.

It were three hugs I had gotten from her, before that little infant had stormed up to me.

My heart binding tight to her little ones as I held her cradled into my weak arms. I wasn’t able to hold her very well, those numb hands of mine barely able to keep her up. But I didn’t want to let her go.

Didn’t want for her to leave my side as she enveloped me in her sunshine.

A blinding sunray I held onto.

Even now I found my heart wondering at times who she grew to be. If she was still that little ball of sunshine, spreading happiness and love with every breath she took.

Wondering if the world gave her what she deserved - a life full of happiness and love and laughter So, it was only clear that I hung on every word Nesta spilled over her little sister, who was displayed as her wallpaper. The hard voice of hers the softest I had heard it tonight.

“That’s my little sister Elain you idiot.” Cass looked sceptically back and forth between the screen and Nesta. As if he couldn’t quite believe that such a bright shining ball of sunshine could be related to this steeled woman.

“And why exactly are you having a picture of your little sister as your background and not your boyfriend …. or a picture of all three of you?” he hurriedly added with a blush on his cheeks.

I wanted to groan at him for his painfully obvious question. But I couldn’t, my voice was stuck in the back of my throat as a tight feeling wound itself around my heart. The picture in front of me capturing my entire being.

‘Let her continue to talk! God damn it!’

The oldest Archeron only rolled her eyes at him. Seeming to have a generous heart tonight she gave him the answer he hoped for. “I don’t have a boyfriend and you might not want to believe it, but this background safes hundreds of co-workers each day, from getting yelled at.”

“May I ask why?” questioned Amren her now, her silver eyes fixed on the phone as she scanned over the chubby face that smiled at us from the screen. This stoned face of hers not showing any indication of what ran through her mind.

Nesta only raised her eyebrows at her before she fully explained herself; “My sisters are the best human beings in my life. And even though I love both dearly – the cuter pictures exist from Elain. Sorry Feyre for that.”

But she only shook her head, looking with a bright smile at the screen on which one of her older sisters was shown “I am not even angry at you for that one. She looks so adorable! Where have you found it anyway?”

Nesta seemed to think about if for a moment, her eyes not able to stray from her cute sister as this bright smile of hers seemed to remind the steeled Archeron of where she found it “I had rummaged through a couple of old boxes in my apartment and this picture was among the many things I found there. I just had to scan it in and use it as my wallpaper!”

All of us chuckled as we listened to the two sisters rambling on about their middle one. For the first time of the evening was the attention on the one that was not here with us now.

But Mor’s innocent curiosity had Nesta thinking, “How did Elain react when you showed her the picture?”

The oldest Archeron furrowed her eyebrows together, deep in thought as she took a sip from her wine; “When I had shown Elain the picture, she didn’t precisely have the reaction I thought she would have.”

“Which one did she have?” questioned Cassian again, remembering the oldest Archeron of his existence, so it seemed. As we were all drowned out of the conversation that erupted between the two sisters.

“I don’t really know. She mumbled something about a boy she had met that day. Or rather something about soft hands that held her carefully. I am not fully aware what she meant with that.”

Feyre only sighed at that. Rubbing her eyes tiredly only mumbling her next words “She sometimes has this.” “What, Feyre, darling?”

Rhysand’s eyes searched the one of his Fiancé with a worried look for answers. Those tired blue eyes of hers lightening up the moment they locked on our brother. Cassian and Mor exchanged some knowing looks, as if they knew about something the two of them didn’t.

Though there wasn’t really anything the two could know about at this moment. Their smirks fading as soon as Feyre’s heavy voice rang in our ears. It sounded so different than the voice we heard all evening, a cloak of sadness seeming to cover her. “Elain sometimes has these weird moments in which she sees …. things.” tried Feyre to explain.

Nesta only nodded at her while she continued. All of our confused gazes locked on Feyre’s slumped form “She - I don’t know how it works- sometimes sees these cryptic things she blabbers on about. Trying to explain to us what these things might be. But in all honesty, I don’t think these ‘Visions’ are good for her.”

“How so?” I found myself asking. The two Archeron sisters looking at me as if they hadn’t even known I sat at the table, who's atmosphere seemed to shift faster than the weather in April. Both of their blue eyes rested on my stiff body as they assessed if I had a right to ask this question.

My brain well aware of every breath my body took, but this traitorous heart of mine also wanted to hide those crippled hands of mine. Those screams, which escaped my tiny lungs so many years ago, ringing in my ears along with Nesta's cold words, though the coldness of them wasn’t directed to anyone at our table.

“Her ex-fiancé had left her, because of these visions.” A dry chuckled echoed over the table to us. Feyre meeting the eyes of her sister as a devilish smirk spread on her lips. Spreading this smile like a wildfire on Nesta’s as well.

A look of pride whelming up in her eyes while the rest of the table was just quiet. Hanging onto every word they exchanged.

“You mean he cheated on her, because of these visions. Elain was the one that broke off the engagement.”

Nesta took in a sharp breath “Yeah, after she showed up in the middle of the night at my threshold. Half drunken!”

Her younger sisters' eyebrows shoot into her hair line “She was what?!”

“Half- drunken.” emphasized Nesta again. “If she was only half-drunken, she clearly must have done something wrong.” mumbled Amren into her fourth wine glass. Earning herself a glare from the entire table.

“Why have you never told me this?! I mean - I know how the rest of the story went, so this isn’t really the most shocking part, but still! I have a right to know when my older sister is drunk!”

“I don’t think neither Elain or I know of the all the times you have been drunk.” was all her older sister deadpanned.

Something wild and burning rising in Nesta’s steeled eyes as Cassian dragged the attention away from Feyre, carefully asking them “How exactly did this fateful night go?”

The two sisters exchanged a short look with each other. Making all of us realize at this point, that if anyone was to harm their sister, they would break hell lose. Though it sounded as if Elain was capable of that all alone.

The story of her broken off engagement truly something no one of us would hear another time.

“Elain’s ex-fiancé, Graysen -” spat Nesta. The name alone wanting to make her throw up. “he had sent her into psychiatry for about two months. Neither Feyre or I had heard anything from her in those months. I guess it is unnecessary at this point to say that we were worried sick about her.”

“Why was she there anyway? I mean like it sounded there was no higher force, like a judge, that sent her there.” stated Mor. Cass, Rhys and even Amren’s head nodding in agreement at the train of thoughts she took. Feyre’s hollow voice would have been answer enough for us, but she went a little bit into detail.

“Elain truly loved Graysen and believed he was her one and only, so when he told her to check herself in for a psychiatry – she didn’t object at all.” “But doesn’t - ““It was a long-term ‘project’, yes.” interrupted Nesta the tiny woman, that looked mortified.

Never in my life had I seen her look like that. Looking with wide silver eyes and in shock at the oldest Archeron - the red wine in her small hands long forgotten, while she hung on every word of hers.

Smirking lips revealing to us all something we weren’t able to connect to the sweet little angle that was portrayed on the wallpaper.

Those delighted warm eyes of hers drowning in tears how Nesta described it to us.

“I still can’t tell if she was hurt or just furious – both I would guess- as I sat her in my car. She hadn’t spoken a word to me on the drive, only the next morning did she reveal where she had been and why she hadn’t reached out to one of us, she just got sent back home from psychiatry. Wanting to surprise her fiancé, who she thought would be incredibly happy about her return. She didn’t announce herself as she stepped into their apartment – the sounds of moans and grunts greeting her. She told me the first place she went to was a bar, not entirely sure if I, or Feyre ever wanted to see her again.”

Nesta took a final deep breath, “I wasn’t up there with her when she confronted. I just drove her there and honestly – I regret that I wasn’t with her.”

Mor paled as well as Cassian and I. Wild pictures ran through our minds that were clearly wrong. The pictures of an abused woman filling my mind, while she screamed for help. The other woman looking pleased down on her whenever her lover hit her.

A shiver ran down my spine, no one deserved that.

No one deserved to be cheated on and yet Elain was one of those who had rented bad luck in love for herself, though I don’t assume a cheater was what she wished would be her one and only.

But while we were all stuck to the innocent picture laying on the table, we all underestimated her as Nesta went further into the description of the evening, the proud smile she wore spreading onto my very own lips as I listened into her tale with delight.

“I was just able to see a bit. I had hoped she would throw his belongings out of the window. Though I already assumed Elain would hold him a speech about trust and loyalty that no one could understand as it was drowned out by her tears – she amazed me that night. There were no clothes thrown out of the window. She had cradled them in her arms and piled them on the grass in front of their apartment complex. The pile of clothes and mother knows what growing and growing. As she walked out the last time of the door– she had a canister of gas with her.

“Drowning everything in the smelly liquid as she threw a match on the whole pile. Watching from a faraway distance how his things got burned, like the future she imagined with him.”

Feyre and Nesta had, both, quite pleased looks on their faces as they remembered the doing of their sister. Amren looked like the devil herself as she took sip for sip from her goblet, Morrigan smirked along with her.

Rhysand was left speechless, something he rarely was, and Cass only whistled. Colour having drained from his face as Feyre picked up on the story again. “This isn’t even the best part yet.”

“It’s not?” questioned Amren and Mor in one devilish voice.

She only nodded. “After Elain had entered the apartment, she took Greysen’s hurriedly stripped off clothes and threw them at onto his sorry ass once she found him. Though she threw these weird leather shoes of his separately – letting them strike where she wanted them.”

Nesta had a pride filled look on her face as she took a carful sip from her wine. Those burning eyes of hers seeing things no one of us really wanted to think about.

“Feyre, darling, at what exactly did she throw them?” asked Rhys carefully. Sweat having started to coat him during their tale, probably growing well aware of the fact that if he ever was to hurt just one sister of the three – he was sure to lose some of his most precious belongings

I guess each of us had their own guess of where she threw his shoes, most of us tending to his groin, but Feyre and Nesta revealed something so entirely different, with such smugness that no one could surpass at least a little chuckle.

“His face. The next time we saw him he had a blue eye and a broken nose.”

It was well deserved I told myself as my mind strayed back out of the window. A proud smile displayed on my lips as I did so.

I knew I shouldn’t have listened so carefully, shouldn’t have wanted to know of what the absent middle Archeron had done. It was also wrong to have even just a little smile on my lips while I listened.

If she would have been here, it might have looked for her as if we were laughing about her while it was in truth the pain that was caused to this ‘Graysen’, that had us all smiling like devils.

Each one of us already well aware of a crippled kind of love that could hurt us, wishing the ones who caused it worse than hell.

A past lover of Rhysand having abused him while Morrigan forced herself to love men – not able to meet the blaming looks of her family. Letting herself wither each time a bit more when she brought a man home to her family.

And while these two suffered from toxic lovers, the rest of us suffered differently.

Amren having never experienced any kind of love before Varian as she was left on the streets – homeless and a crying infant in the middle of a park. Her mother, or perhaps both her parents, deciding for her to never know of their love. A nun had taken shelter on her, letting her stay as long as she wished. And even though this nun gave Amren everything she could – a home, food, warmth and a bit of love it was never what she would have gotten from her parents.

Deep down she knew that, her heart having suffered for a long time under this knowledge.

And while she had too less love, Cassian’s mother had gotten too much of it. Her lover having loved her with everything he had. This twisted mind of his wanting to lock the woman he loved, with his whole being, away from the world once he discovered she was pregnant.

She had run away while she was in labour with Cass, not wanting this locked away life for him.

No one of us could think of the pain she must have had as she gave birth to him in a park. Muffling her own screams from the strangers that walked past her hide-out. Rhysand’s mother had been one of them, she had heard those muffled screams and went to look for the one in pain.

I don’t really know how Rhys mother must have felt like as she saw the woman sitting with wide spread legs on the grass. The soft leaves of it painted red as she tried to muffle her own screams with biting into her arm.

Everything that followed on this incident was a blur, told me my mother ones. She said Cassian was thrusted into Cassandra’s arms. His mother had instructed her to go home and take him with her.

Rhys mother had argumented long with her to take her with them, but the woman tried to push her away. Told her if she didn’t move now, no one would be safe and everything would turn worse.

It was a heart-breaking story the newspapers soaked up, like a sponge water. They wanted to interview Rhys mother of what had happened, but she did not let a word slip. Though the salt was still pressed into this mental wound of hers. Her heart well aware of the fact that she couldn’t keep the last promise she made to the woman.

Knowing well that she couldn’t keep it. She had promised Cassian’s mother to come back, that she would have tomorrow and the rest of her life to live. But she wasn’t even able to reach tomorrow, her lover having found her in the same night.

Strangling her to death once he saw her laying there.

Up till this day I can’t tell how Cassian managed to smile again after he found out about her at the age of fourteen. The experiences I had with my own father leaving a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I thought about it.

It could have been my mother, I always thought. My mother that could have been killed as soon as someone found out that she was pregnant and I thanked the gods that it was only a life full of pain for a six-year-old me. That she seemed to be spared from it. So, I thought at least.

She was beaten down, just like me, whenever she was allowed to enter the basement.

But she – we- were able to get away from this pain, not without some scars though. Most were in our minds, while my hands screamed of those my half-brothers had left on me. Those crippled, numb hands haunting me for the rest of my life.

Luckily Elain was able to get away from this horrible life, I thought to myself. Looking out and realizing just how late it had turned, I wanted to look to my companions. But they were gone.

A note of Amrens handwriting everything that remained of them,

‘You looked so deep in thought that I guess it is time for you to use some quietness to sort yourself out again. Feyre and Rhys already paid for us, if you plan on sitting a bit longer you get to pay your drinks alone.’

I smiled at the little note, perhaps it really was time to get myself sorted out again.

After all, with the woman from today and Elain Archeron on my mind - combined with her story it was perhaps better to talk to my mother again. She always seemed to have a good advice for me, though I don’t really want to imagine her laughter when I am going to explain my troubles to her. Those so called ‘Lady troubles’ like she loved to call it haunting me down.

A groan escaped me as I looked out of the window again, seeing just for a brief moment a coated figure that ran across the street. Rounding the corner and soon entering Rita’s. I had noticed how a waiter moved to the lady that had entered and wanted to already take her coat off, but she declined.

The young waiter leading her with a confused look to my table.

“Thank you.” was all she whispered to the waiter as she ordered her food in the same breath, taking up a seat next to me once he was gone. My eyes strayed over her form as she sat all wet at the table, her face and entire body covered under a beige trench coat, the only thing I could make out of her was her large stomach – that seemed to wiggle?

“Excuse me?” I turned her attention to me; this petite form of hers growing stiff as she turned to me. A nervous chuckle, which I already heard once today, boring itself into my mind again while she pushed back her hood.

Those soft rosy lips smiling up at me once again. My traitorous heart starting to speed up by the mere look of her.

“Elain Archeron.” she exclaimed with an extended hand, the other one holding onto the bundle on her stomach she attempted to hide. “Azriel Dandelion.” was all I could answer with a slight rise of colour.

Those warm eyes of hers scanning my entire being for a moment before a small screeching had captured her attention.

A warm but scolding look was displayed on her face while she looked at the little snoot that poked out from her hide out. The wet tongue of the dog moving to lick Elain’s nose once she was close enough.

It was a cute scenario I witnessed with a bursting heart. After all, not all dog owners went that far as to disguise their puppy as a pregnancy only to not have her wait in the rain. “When are you due?” I found myself asking. Leaning smugly on my hand while she tried to shush Cookie.

I had been scolding me the entire day for the stupid question I had asked her about the puppy, that made her owner crash into me ‘Why did you name her Cookie?’ But she didn’t seem to mind it. Back then as well as now, she only smiled as if it had been stitched into her very lips.

Her heart not caring at all of what others thought of her.

“Well, Azriel, how long are the others gone already?” Gods! I loved how my name rolled of her tongue. This wildly beating heart inside my chest seeming to grow a tail too, as it kept wagging pleadingly at her to say my name.

‘This is embarrassing!’ I thought with a cough. “To be honest, I have no clue.”

It was a heart-breaking sad smile that settled on her lips as she eyed her puppy “Like I know my timing, they are probably only gone since the last ten minutes.” “Why would you say you have a bad timing?”

She seemed torn between something as she had a turmoil looking at me, those sceptic eyes again resting on me. Just like they did four hours ago, though this time she didn’t assess if I was hurt – due to her sudden crash into my chest.

And heart.

But then again, she didn’t just suddenly crash into my heart. Elain was there when I had discovered my freedom. The mere memory of her accompanying me up into adulthood. These oft giggles having never left my ears as they wound deeper and deeper into my heart each time, I thought about her.

Maybe it was the cosy feeling I always had when I remembered her freckles, those sleepy eyes as she was dragged away by the Golden Retriever, that smiled so proudly into the camera with her all those years ago.

“Well, I once had a bad timing for when I got back home.”

“That had nothing to do with your bad timing.” was all I could mumble, while her eyes still held mine captured. Her caramel ones locking with my hazel ones for the brief moment of seconds, before she declared a triumphing “Aha! I knew it!”

“What exactly?”

“Feyre and Nesta told you about my engagement.” Somehow, I felt ashamed as I nodded. I knew she would find out sooner or later anyway. But having her call me out that easily made me feel like the clumsiest kid that had been caught red handed in the cookie jar. A groan escaping me at the play of words in my mind, while she only giggled.

Cookies brownish snoot peeking up ever the slightest.

“Don’t worry about it. Nesta and Feyre, both, like to brag about my burst out.” I lifted a curious brow at that but she only continued to smile. Cookie barking happily at her once she saw this honest smile of her cheery owner.

“Shhh, you already had a good time of barking at the vet!” tried Elain to shush her little pup as the attention of the few guests was turned onto her. A grin breaking lose on my face while I could only eye her with fascination.

Love struck, like my mother would have said.

But I would care later about this. “How about we get your food as take out and eat at my place. Cookie doesn't need to hide there.” I simply put as reason a baffled look crossing her features.

This somehow confused look of hers worrying me to death. “That is if you want to!”

“ I would verry much like that.”

* * * “Azriel Dandelion! Could you give me one hell of a good explanation as to why I am here?!” yelled Feyre across the hospital floor as she dragged Cookie on a short leash behind her. The puppy, she had gifted her older sister over a year ago, having grown well over the months she was away with Rhysand. Traveling all across the court.

Cookies tail started to wag harder once she saw my worried form standing in the middle of a pink, sterilized hallway – right before a delivery room from which I heard Elian's screams.

Feyre’s snow coated body growing as pale as the flakes captured on her hood as she identified her sisters screams of pain. Letting the leash of Cookie fall down to the floor while she bolted for the door.

But my bulky frame locked it. Cookie’s large form to my side, that pleaded for attention, also preventing her from opening up that door. A look of confused rage crossing those blue eyes of hers.

“Azriel! My sister is in mother fucking pain! Let me in there!” “You think I am deaf? I hear her screams just as well as you do! And believe when I tell you these nurses aren’t patient!”

“What?” Feyre looked baffled up at me. A storm of questions, just as heavy as the snowstorm outside, displayed in her eyes. “I already was inside there, but the nurse shooed me out once I was about to have a panic attack – claiming I would make El more nervous than anyone else.” was all I could scoff before I bent down to scrap Cookie behind her yellowish fluffy ear.

Elain was right, when she told me of the therapeutical use – it really eased my nerves as I felt bits of the soft fur of her under this crippled flesh of mine.

Seeming to sense my thoughts, she gently nudged her snoot into my palm. Trying to calm me on her own way down, while she sat calmly on the floor. Feyre taking up a seat next to the door as we waited outside.

A frustrated huff leaving her exhausted body. Her teary eyes not looking at anything in particular “Can you give me at least an explanation as to why Cassian had been waiting for me in Elain’s apartment, shoved Cookie’s leash at me and told me I should go to the second floor of the hospital and look for you?”

It was readable as clear as day that Feyre was worried. Though she didn’t seem to have read the signs while she stormed up to me. “Have you checked the station you are on?”

Like Cookie woken up when she heard the doorbell, did Feyre hunt down for a sign. Just did she not seem to be able to read all those signs around the floor through her tear-stained vision. Dreading mother knows what while she ran around the station.

“Feyre! Look!” I simply pointed out to her the sign that hung opposite of me. Written in big fat cursive letters was: “Delivery room …" It was all she mumbled as she took up the space next to me. Some nurses eying us with shacking heads while they did their work. Clearly noticing the dog that lay to our feet, but not caring as long as she didn’t run wild.

Though I think the last thing Feyre had on her mind now were the nurses that hurried around like bees. The usual strong voice, with which she spoke, having become breathless. Her plate wide eyes looking up at me with a look, I couldn’t place my finger on. Settling down in her Irises, once she was fully aware that she had read my silent answers well.

“How did that happen?”

“Feyre, I think you are old enough to know of how babies are made.”

Well, that hit on the shoulder was a deserved one. “Now is not the time to be cocky Azriel! My sister is in labour!” “Well, if it helps – my fiancé is in labour.”

All colour drained from her as she hit me again on my shoulder, a bruise already forming there “I am gone for god fucking ten months and you end up sleeping with my sister and proposing to her! What else is there to know? Did Cassian and Nesta start dating too?!”

“Well, that is clearly not my story to tell.” The look she gave me made me feel glad that we were in a hospital. A doctor would always be close by, a nurse would be enough too to make a bleeding stop.

But a bark had captured our attention as the rest of the hospital turned quiet and made us save the rest of our argument for later. Elain's screams having long ebbed down while Feyre and I were shouting at each other, right in front of her delivery room. The small wailing of a new life was all we heard.

I think if we all would have had tails like Cookie, we probably would have cleaned up the floor better than any mop could have. Our nerves strained to the point of snapping while we waited for the door to open up. One of the doctors almost run down by the three of us, as we hurried into the room.

Tears blurring my vision as I saw my wife to be, cooing softly at our daughter cradled in her arms. This soft bundle looking so fragile in her arms as Feyre already stopped at the door. A long stream of tears escaping her eyes while Cookie and I moved to Elain’s side.

Eying the little girl carefully as I stretched out a hand to caress her tiny chubby cheek. The bubbly laugh on my lips something I had never before from myself. “She looks like you.”

Completely knowing where I was going with this, she carefully nudged my side. Love and a playful fondness laying in this silly gesture “You were cubby as a baby too.”

“Yet you still were the cuter one.” I found myself praising the woman I loved. Kissing her sweaty temple while a giggle erupted from her, making my already full heart bursting for her even more.

I think there would never be enough words in any dictionary, that could describe this whirling storm of feelings inside my chest. My heart already bursting when I thought of the future, the future I so long had hoped for but never thought of as happening to me.

Never have I had faith in myself when it came to love, never had I been thinking that I would one day hold a child in my arms. My – our child - as Elain carefully lay her into my bulky arms resting a bit before Feyre bombarded her with questions.

Elain answered every question of her sister with a kind smile as the night aged into the morning. The heavy clouds of the snowstorm making it impossible to see the rising sun. But there was no reason for the sun to rise – not anymore.

It was a selfish thought – I knew – but there was no reason for a third ball of sunshine to rise. While I had the two brightest ones cradled in in my arms already.

My loves blinding smile everything I needed to live for the rest of my life happily. Pampering her and our little one with kisses as everything made perfect sense.

Those ‘Visions’ that kept her awake many nights, made her live through hundreds of nightmares and her sobbing into the mornings – they connected her to me. Showed her pieces of my past, our combined past as she spoke of those soft bandaged hands, making us both remember of the day we first met.

Though I do believe it was hard for to remember, since she was only one, but our hearts seemed to have long called for each other. Knowing from the very start that this future would be awaiting us with open arms.

Our family. Perfect as it was – two aunts and two dorky uncles, with two bussy bodies of a godmother waiting for us. Cookie, with her brown dots on her fur just as unique as our daughter.

Her eyes - one soft and brown like those of her mother, while the other one was hazel, like mine.

Happiness brimming in both of them when she first showed us the world. Our world that would await us once we got back home. Our hearts already captured by her sweet giggles, that had both of us left in tears.

My eternal love and gratefulness for Elain, never enough to show her how much I thanked her. How much I wanted to know her that she was the one and only one that had captured my heart.

Expect for the little one cradled in our arms, but she seemed to already wrap our whole little world around her chubby finger. Cookies soft snoot nuzzling into her soft skin as she smelled her. Acknowledging our little girl already as part of her family.

Hopefully Cookie would not have the same habit as Elain’s dog so many years ago had – dragging her away by her collar as she hurried through the house with a tired Elain captured in her mouth.

Though I guess I would not mind it. Cookie already seemed to have a problem with Feyre approaching us – which had her laughing and moving swiftly out of the door. Most likely calling Rhysand on the news.

Declaring with a goofy grin that they became an uncle and an aunt – their family having just spread a bit wider. As all of us sat around the Christmas tree the next week, our little Soleil finally among us, while we were all gathered in our little, perfect apartment.

Her bussy bodies of a family gushing and aweing at the pregnancy pictures of her mother, that beamed through each of them like the sun herself.

A proud smile never leaving her soft lips – which I found myself chasing more than often in the past week. Not able to control this sheer force of love that seemed to make me throw myself at my beloved, whenever I saw her.

The melodyic giggle of her, accompaying me through everything life threy our way.

______________________________________________________________

So I hope you liked this one: I hope you don’t mind the use of name in this one😘

When I wrote this I at first thought to myself ‘Shit! How do you write about a dog person?’ well it wasn’t that difficult anymore once I saw those cute little puppys.

I am now officially cheating on my cats since the last ten days😅

Anyway, here is your hint for tomorrow: It’s turning classy.

#acotar secret snowflake #elriel #elain archeron #soft az #feysand #mentions of nassian #elain x azriel child #mention of abuse #the inner circle #amren and az friendship #elain x azriel

29 notes · View notes