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skellebonez · 3 years

Note

So, I have a weird request: Mei, Jin and Yin with 28 and 50. I fell victim of my own au and now I just want these three to be friends and cause mayhem.

Ok, you both sent me these SO CLOSE TOGETHER BY CHANCE that I had to combine them. This is the most prompts I have shoved into one fill and I consider this an achievement.

You call this luck? No, this is all skill./That cute act is all just a lie./I was not expecting that to work as well as it did./Ok, who gave out my number? I have 12 missed calls, 4 voicemails, and 75 unread texts!/No, listen, hear me out. All we need is some really good disguises.

“Ok, who gave out my number?” Mei asked as she slammed the door to Jin and Yin’s workshop open with a harsh kick that sent it slamming into the wall, a scowl on her face. She wasn’t particularly angry, just annoyed, but they didn’t have to know that yet. “I have 12 missed calls, 4 voicemails, and 75 unread texts! I had to change my number because before I cleared the first set of notifications I had over 80 each!”

“How do you know it was us?” Jin asked defensively from his spot sitting on the nearest table, and Mei allowed her face to fall into an deadpan expression, raising just one eyebrow.”... ok, fair, it was Yin.”

“Hey!” Yin yelped as he rolled out on a skateboard from... whatever in the world it was he was working on. “Why are you calling me out like this? I thought you were my brother!”

Mei watched at the two got up from where they sat, getting in each other’s faces and arguing about “brotherly betrayal” and if she was being honest Mei almost thought that this would have been nearly enough to make up for her needing to change her number for the first time in years. Almost. It was when Jin yelled “That cute act is all just a lie!” and Yin gasped in offense that she decided she had enough amusement for the moment and whistled as loud as she could to get the twin’s attention.

“Alright gentlemen, may I ask why my phone number was leaked in the first place?” Mei asked slowly, gaze firmly centered on Yin.

“... In my defense, I didn’t post it publicly,” Yin said as he held up his hands in surrender. “I only gave it to one person and they said they were a friend of yours because I needed some tech they had and they said it was payment for the favor!”

“One person made 82 calls?” Jin asked with a look of disbelief and horror on his face. “Who has time for 82 phone calls?”

“They’re all spam bot calls and texts, it isn- Wait, go back a second,” Mei held up a hand, gesturing for Yin to speak again. “Who said they were a friend of mine?”

“A streamer guy, Bo-something?”

“BoFullStrike,” Mei said with venom lacing her words, a low growl sounding in the depths of her check. “Of course it was Bo, he’s been trying to get back at me for beating him at his best game for like 2 weeks now since our crossover stream like the sore loser that he is. He’s been trying to spam my email this entire time, apparently spam is how he gets revenge.”

“Is his name actually Bo?” Yin asked in curiosity.

“No, it’s just his screen name, but lets not get distracted!” Mei smirked, walking up to the twins and putting her arms around their necks in a half hug each. “To make up for ruining my phone, and because you like me, you two are going to help me get back at him so he will just leave me in peace.”

“Uh,” Jin and Yin looked at each other, then back at Mei and Jin continued. “Is, you know... Macaque gonna have to know about this? We’re already kind of in deep water with him as it is and-”

“No, listen, hear me out. All we need is some really good disguises.”

“And why am I being pulled into this?” Jin asked with a sigh.

“You two are a package deal.”

Mei had to admit, when the demon bros had someone who knew how to make a plan for them? They were scary good at what they could do. All three of their technological knowledge combined was a terrifying force to behold, and Mei could see they weren’t too shabby with designing things they weren’t tech itself either. The three of them, both Jin and Yin in their human forms, were disguised so well that Mei almost didn’t recognize her own reflection in her wig and make up. It was perfect!

What was also perfect was the absolute chaos erupting in the internet cafe they had tracked BoFullStrike down to. He really should take internet security a little more seriously, it was far too easy...

Just as it was far too easy to remote connect to the computer he was using to practice his gaming in on an alt account and completely mess with all of his controls and download some nasty nasty viruses onto it from the other side of the building. They weren’t anything too hard for the cafe to get rid of, and it wasn’t anything that would affect the entire computer network, but it was just enough to make the cafe owner pissed off enough to kick him out (that would have made her feel bad if she didn’t know Bo also lived on his own in his own house on his parent’s dime and only came here so no one would track his ISP to alt accounts, and that there were 20 other such cafes in the city for him to move to).

Now the other streamer was angrily stomping out of the building passing by the chaos trio and would have not even been aware of their involvement had Jin and Yin not yanked him half a foot into the (admittedly brightly lit and easy to see into) alleyway beside the cafe.

“Hey, BO,” Mei said with a smirk as the twins held an arm each for extra security. Like bouncers. Or very strange bodyguards she didn’t actually need. “Still angry I beat you in front of all your followers huh?”

“You!” Bo, or whatever his actual name was Mei didn’t care enough about this to remember that, said after a moment of confusion when he recognized her voice. “You humiliated me on purpose! Just like last time!”

“This time yes, that time? No, you humiliated yourself behind the scenes when you started trying to sign me up for car insurance scams,” Mei said with a sigh. “Look, guy, just leave me alone. No one except you cares that I beat you in a few matches at a game I was already on the leader boards for.”

“You just got lucky!” He scoffed, pulling his arms and tensing with a fearful look as he realized he couldn’t move.

“You call this luck? No, this is all skill,” Mei said with a smirk as she held up her phone and Bo’s face went white as a sheet at the information scrolling on the screen. “Yeah, you should probably invest in something. Like a firewall. A VPN. Literally anything. This was not hard to find at all. Dude, I kinda feel bad that you’re so bad at tech security so I am doing you a favor, just leave me alone and I will literally give you a high tech security system and never speak to you again.”

“Or... what?” Bo said with a shake. “You’ll post all my info online?”

“Hell no!” Mei winced with a disgusted look, shaking her head. “You’re being an asshole, but I’m not evil! I was just gonna sign you up for spam too until you took my offer. Ew.”

“Oh... well... I guess... sure?” The man looked mostly confused more than anything else, shrugging as much as he could before Jin and Yin let him go. “That’s... really it?”

“Yeah, dude, I didn’t want that much revenge just a little bit. Like I said, stop signing me up for spam and I will never speak to you ever again.”

“... OK,” Bo said, and yelped as Mei tossed some kind of USB drive at him. “Uh-”

“You have everything you need in there,” Mei said with a shrug, waving him off.

Bo shrugged again, still looking incredibly confused as he ran off, muttering something like “ok maybe that was kind of badass I guess” under his breathe.

“I was not expecting that to work as well as it did,” Mei said with a laugh, holding up both hands to either side. “Good job, my dudes, you are off the hook.”

Both twin’s palms met her own in very satisfying high fives, and all three thought they should totally team up for stuff like this more often.

(The next day BoFullStrike sent her an actual email with a proper apology.)

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #cursed au #gen fic #mei #long xiaojiao #jin and yin #the chaos trio #that is what i am calling them #prompt fill

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the-hidden-writer · 3 years

Text

And Into The Fire

Chapter 1: A Phone Call

Summary: Months after the Mitchells saved the world, Linda gets a phone call asking if she's seen two defective Pal MAX bots. Powerful people are after Eric and Deborabot 5000, and it's up to the Mitchells to protect them.

Check reblogs for AO3 link!

A Phone Call

It all started with a phone call.

6 months had passed since the “robot apocalypse”, and the world had fallen back into normality. In fact, since the robot apocalypse was so brief, it was now nothing more than a memory and a conversation topic to use as small talk. Things like “Where were you when the robots took you?” or “What did you do inside the fun pods?”. All in all, life had gone back to normal.

But not for the Mitchells. No, their lives were probably changed for good.

Katie had settled well into college. Now that she finally had her Dad’s approval, she felt free to have as much fun as she wanted without the burden of letting down her family. She regularly sent them updates of her work, and it made her insanely happy when she heard that Dad had made an effort to watch them fully, even if he didn’t quite understand them. That was okay though. It’s the thought that counts.

Back at home, things weren’t the same without Katie. Every time one of them stared too long at the empty chair at the table, it felt like a little stab to the heart. The Mitchells were a team, despite their differences, and one missing member was enough to knock their whole household off-kilter.

But they’d still managed to form a similar routine to their old one, just with one less Mitchell. Just Rick, Linda, Aaron, Monchi… and Eric and Deborahbot 5000.

The addition of the two childlike defective androids to their family was the biggest change of all. Once Pal was defeated and everyone was free, the pair had simply stood and looked confused in the midst of it all. The Mitchells (still high on adrenaline) had turned to leave when Eric called out:

“Mother! Wait!”

When he had the family’s attention, he continued. “Are you… satisfied?”

“Huh?” Rick voiced all of their confusion.

“Are you satisfied?” Eric repeated in the same, dry (but strangely uncertain) tone.

When nobody replied, Deborahbot had attempted to clarify. “Are you satisfied... with our performance?”

It was at that moment that a feeling of dread began brewing in Linda’s gut. She knew little to nothing about robots, and less about computer language, but something about the way the bots were speaking resonated with her. Katie had gone through a stage a few years earlier where she needed validation to stay confident but was too anxious to directly ask for it. She wasn't even sure if robots could have anxiety, but...

The fact that this seemingly unrelated memory had sprung to mind was enough for Linda to make her decision.

“They’re coming with us.” She stated firmly, and that was that. Rick had tried to protest but his argument was weak and, after taking one look at the bots that helped save the world, he couldn’t say no to their wobbly faces.

So Eric and Deborahbot came home with them and unofficially joined the Mitchell family. Luckily for the Mitchells themselves, the bots’ shenanigans were enough to help fill in the void left by Katie. The family had found their routine, they weren’t being hounded by the press anymore, and they’d found their new normal.

And then one ordinary day, the house phone rang.

Before Linda (the only human in the house at that moment) had time to react, two identical shouts of “Unknown number!” came in from the living room.

Eric and Deborahbot announcing the caller had been endearing at first. Each time any phone rang, they would happily shout the caller’s name straight away.

However after a few months of it, as much as Linda hated to admit it, it had gotten old and more than a little annoying. But the boys couldn’t help it and it brought them pleasure, so Linda had decided to let it slide for the time being.

Then when the phone rang after a particularly exhausting day and the bots had called out the name of a work colleague, Rick snapped. He yelled at the bots in what Linda thought was a very harsh way- so harsh that she was certain that they would be crying if they could display human emotions.

Rick had felt extremely guilty later that night and apologised (due to Linda’s nagging) in the morning. The bots immediately forgave him, but Linda noticed during the following week they would fall silent whenever Rick passed them or when the phone rang. To try and make up for it, she promised them that they could shout the caller’s name whenever Rick wasn’t home. They’d hugged her when she said that, and Linda felt like she’d done something right. It was a nice feeling.

“Mother! The phone is ringing!” Deborahbot called, snapping Linda back to the present. She’d been lost in her memories for a moment, so she quickly ran to answer the house phone.

(The bots weren’t allowed to answer the phone for obvious reasons.)

“Hello?” She answered, smiling when she noticed Eric and Deborahbot peeking their heads around the door to watch her.

“Hi, uh, is this the Mitchells?”

The voice on the other end was familiar, but Linda couldn’t quite put a name to it. Was it a parent from one of her school’s kids? No, because then why would they have her house number. Then who?

“Yes, this is Linda Mitchell. Sorry, who is this?”

“Uh, hey, it’s Mark Bowman.” So that’s where she recognised the voice. It belonged to the man whose face had been plastered all over the news and had narrowly avoided jail time for causing the robot apocalypse.

“What can I do for you, Dr Bowman?” She asked, trying not to let the sneer into her voice. She also tried not to notice the way Eric and Deborahbot visibly stiffened (an accomplishment for them) at the sound of the name.

“Right, um,” the man sounded oddly hesitant, “as you probably know, I’ve been going through a lot of official checks, to prove that the robots no longer pose a threat and stuff.”

His hesitance made sense then. He was probably being held at gunpoint by the CIA.

“Mhmm.” Linda nodded while simultaneously using her free hand to shoo her boys away. She didn’t know whether they could listen in to phone calls or not, but her instincts were telling her that they would not want to listen to whatever their creator was about to say.

“Well one of those checks includes making sure that all the Pal Max bots are permanently offline, you get what I’m saying?”

Linda wishes she didn’t. “Yeah.”

“Let’s just say that one took a while. Each bot has a unique serial number and was designed to send out a notification to Pal Labs if they got completely broken. And since there are like, millions of these things it took ages to sort them out, haha.”

“Understandable.” Said Linda pleasantly, although her motherly instincts were firing off the charts.

“So, uh, long story short there are two of these Pal MAX bots still missing. The rest have all been accounted for from these distress signals, but these ones seemed to have disconnected from Pal servers before the mass shutdown. Since they’re still online I’m guessing they’re defective.”

Linda felt a sudden, impulsive urge to kill Mark Bowman. This was not a first-time occurrence.

“So this is basically a super long way of asking if you’ve seen any rogue Pal MAX bots still online anywhere? Maybe back when you were saving the world?”

She had to resist the urge to hang up right then and there. Instead, she put on her sweetest teacher voice. There was truly no better way to mask her emotions.

“Hmm, no, sorry I don’t think we did.” She paused. “Even if we did, if the robots are defective then surely they can’t be that dangerous?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Bowman exclaimed suddenly before clearing his throat and composing himself. “But uh… these people wanna be thorough. Can’t risk another apocalypse, y’know?”

Linda was about to respond when she heard a strange beeping sound on the other end, accompanied by shuffling.

“Uh, thanks Mrs Mitchell sorry again about the apocalypse bye-”

She’d been hung up on before she had time to react to Dr Bowman’s words.

On the inside, she was glad that he hadn’t pressed further about the missing defective robots. She’d been half-expecting him to already know their whereabouts and for there to be a confrontation.

But there hadn’t, and he’d hung up, and something about the whole thing seemed off.

She began to formulate a plan in her mind. Firstly, her robo-boys’ safety was the top priority of the situation. Once Rick came home she could tell him about the phone call and they could think of protection methods more clearly.

All she knew for certain for the time being was that the bots wouldn’t be leaving the house for a while.

~-.-~

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

If the beeping wasn’t startling enough, the aggressive hand signals the agents were sending him caused him to panic.

He decided to hang up quickly. “Uh, thanks Mrs Mitchell sorry again about the apocalypse bye!” It probably sounded rude, but he really couldn’t care at this point.

“So…” he nervously began, looking up from the phone screen but not wanting to make eye contact with any of the agents. “Did you find anything?”

“The call was intercepted by two separate individuals.” One of the younger agents seated at a computer piped up.

Mark gulped.

“It seems as though we were right, Dr Bowman.” Said Agent Ward, the CIA woman who had first initiated the search for the missing Pal MAX bots. “They’re targeting the Mitchells.”

Taking a deep breath, Mark tried to calm his nerves. He’d lost almost everything in the span of a few months- a good chunk of his self-confidence included.

“Now what?" He asked. "You’re gonna warn them, right?”

“Find them yet, Travis?” Agent Ward asked another of the agents, ignoring Mark completely.

“Hey! You didn’t answer me!”

“We’ve managed to trace the interception to its sources, Ma’am.” The other agent replied, also ignoring Mark. “The coding here does look like Pal MAX, but we can’t actually access it. Since they’re online, the defences are strong. It would take a few days to get through the firewall even with Pal Labs resources, let alone commence a rewrite.”

The agents only turned their attention back to Mark when he snorted when trying to hold in a laugh.

“Of course it’d take ages,” he scoffed, “these are Pal bots. They’re designed to be pretty much impossible to be hacked by humans.”

“Well then,” Agent Ward towered over him intimidatingly, “you’d better get to work.”

Comments make my day! :)

#the mitchells vs the machines #tmvtm #fic #tmvtm eric #eric tmvtm #deborahbot 5000 #eric and deborahbot5000 #eric and deborahbot #linda mitchell #mark bowman #and into the fire

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moonflms · 3 years

Text

➷｡˚wishes —nct/superm mark lee

requested by anon! note, use of media (twice only dw)

next request: jaehyun

PROLOGUE ༄ — mark takes you out on a friendly date to watch the total lunar eclipse by the park! but oh how we wished the date was real.

PAIRING ༄ - non-idol! mark x fem! reader

GENREs ༄ - fluff, semi-onesided love, stars, eclipse, moongazing, under the night sky, semi-socmed, ed sheeran

W. COUNT ༄ - around 1.5k+

NETWORKS༄ - @multifandomnet

TAGS ༄ - @cupfullofjeno (maddie imy :( ) @jungwon-luv-bot-pt3 (if you wanna be tagged in my stories then feel free to reach out to me ! <3)

➷｡min's letter ༄ - i honestly feel like this one sucked bc i honestly didn't know how to write a cute prompt anon sent kdfhjkdf

do not repost. copyright belongs to @moonflms 2021. reblogs and likes are deeply appreciated! originally posted on my wattpad (@johnsparrot) . enjoy reading!

masterlist

"i get it that you're into astronomy and the likes but mark, it's past six." you reasoned out from the front seat as you talk to your best friend who was by the trunk arranging whatever he packed. "first, i'm not that deep into the study unlike professionals and astrophiles but you already agreed so shut up!" mark looks at you from the back as he smiles at you who was slightly annoyed.

"a pillow or moomin?" mark walked to your side, barricading you to your seat as he slightly leans towards you, a hand on the door keeping the car wide open as the other rested near the headrest. "moomin please" you pushed mark slightly away as you watched him dash into the house for the soft plushie. you chuckled at how he treats you like a kid— what he always does when you're having those rough weeks. you watched him lock the house and come back with the white plush in hand.

he gets settled in the driver's seat as he starts buckles up, royally handing the toy over to you "one moomin m'lady" he slightly bows down while handing it over, another episode of him being goofy. you played along and smiled before mark fully started the drive towards the park.

the drive was not silent as mark kept the atmosphere busy with a few of ed sheeran's songs playing through his stereo. with the songs playing mark felt vague; he felt butterflies yet he felt his chest gradually getting heavier. photograph, thinking out loud and eventually to happier. playing those songs he realized, no, he knew very well that they had something in common.

that they all reminded him of you.

his gallery and even actual photographs always had you beside him, complete attendance from his adorable childhood to his questionable high school era. thinking out loud because he sees you much more as his confidant, his best friend. all the 'i love you's he showered you with from time to time meant much more than how you saught it as. he feels at peace by seeing you smile and his heart never fails to flutter when he feels your head cozied up by his chest.

and to happier as he knows that you were least likely to become his. he hesitated to confess despite all his others friends convinced you felt the same way. he wouldn't want to go through the pain of rejection and turn the years of friendship all awkward of a sudden.

it has been going on for a great while and the only thing mark could do was to show signs without making it obvious, like how he queued the songs in that order.

you had a rough week and it only seems to get rougher. what hurt you hurt mark as well, so he always goes berserk just to make you lighten up from your burdening feelings.

you and mark always had a bucket list of stuff you both wanted to do. and mark felt it was a perfect time to cross one out; a date under the night sky.

a friendly date despite how mark wanted it to be an actual one.

mark felt lucky knowing that same night had a lunar eclipse (and surprisingly a super moon) was supposed to show and he just had to seize the opportunity. he made sure to bring binoculars, comfy blankets to rest on and of course, the requested moomin plush renjun gifted him for christmas.

the park was nearby and mark felt giddy. focused on humming and driving mark overheard a few shutters and felt the gut feeling of a camera pointing at him. "i better look hot in those" he joked as he glanced at you through the mirror. "i was taking pictures of the cherry blossom, dumbass" you chuckled as you proceeded to snap a few pictures of mark. you then moved over to your instagram to spam about the sudden trip. "one last, look" you scooted closer to mark's side to take a pic with him, just before the traffic light switched to green. both of you looking sweet, you smiled to yourself.

you were finally settling down on the blanket sprawled over the grass, the view of the waters from the distance and the moon above continuing its eclipse. mark who was sitting up, set aside the binoculars, and laid beside you. he turned to his side as he watched you. "so, a check on the bucket list?" mark smiled hoping you'd say yes.

"well, my best friend is much better than other than an invisible boyfriend." mark smiled through the stinging pain. 'yeah, best friend' he thought to himself.

"don't you get tired of being by my side?" you looked up to the sky, feeling a bit doubtful.

"and why would you think so?"

"it's more or less two decades of us constantly by each other's side. and the things you'd do just to get me out of my—"

"y/n, if you're hurt, i get hurt too. i'm always here for you, no matter how stupid and annoying you could be at times. if i went through my whole life with you by my side, why would i suddenly stray away?" mark softly patted your cheek, drying off the few tears that rolled down. you came closer to mark and hugged him, nuzzling by his chest and scent. "and you know how much i love you right?" you nodded as you continued to nest under him.

mark would've been jumping in joy. but tracing back a few words, there he reminded himself of the word 'best friend'.

mark hugged you back as he secretly logged into his instagram as well, he distracted himself by viewing a few of the stories. your story came in after a few taps and there showed a picture of him driving, captioned with a black heart. "sure, keep on hoping minhyung." he thought to himself once again.

he finally decided to create his own with the picture he secretly took of you earlier. he thought of the caption for a while until he ended up with "wished you we're mine." he posts storied like these on the daily, he just made sure to set it into the close friends setting to avoid you from seeing it. he quickly tapped the post option as he felt you move and sat up.

"look! it's red!" you pointed at the moon, smiling as you were amazed by the phenomenon. you pulled mark up from his position and continued to look at the dark sky. it indeed was beautiful. mark inserted his phone back into his pocket as he cupped your shoulder, watching you admire the heavenly bodies above.

feeling done, you glanced at mark who was still looking up. you watched your best friend enjoy his own time as you felt a small vibrate off your phone. you quickly checked the notification as it came from... mark?

" [y/nmais_vu] : @onyourm__mark posted a new story ! "

checking it, you wondered when mark was able to snap a quick photo of you, but you wondered more about the caption. you felt your heartbeats go rapid and your stomach starts to churn. "y/n?" mark called as you quickly locked your phone. "you alright?"

"yeah... nothing much, just story notifs." you smiled and sat closer to mark. he hums as he proceeds to wrap his free arm around your shoulders, continuing to watch over the distance. "did you make a wish?" you asked mark who was finally looking back at you with an unsure expression. "we're supposed to wish! go on, " you nudged mark as he spaced out for a moment, staring at a star. "starlight, star bright, the first star i see tonight!" you both burst into laughs "what are we? pre-school?" mark smiled as he continued to stay silent.

"you made me wish on a star now tell me what you asked for," mark turns facing you. you stayed silent for a while as you looked up to the ending eclipse above. "i actually had two wishes" you pulled out a few blades of grass, avoiding his eyes. "first, was for your wish to come true," you fully faced mark as you took the plush into your hands, fiddling with it.

"second, ... i also wished for you to be mine" you smiled at mark whose face was indecipherable. "wait, what?" you noticed how his cheeks were lightly brushed with blush. "it was your notif, mark."

right there, mark realized that he failed to upload the story to the selected option. "i... well, you did suddenly moved and made me panic." mark chuckled as he continues to study your eyes that were glistening under the soft lights of the surroundings. "your turn. what did you wish for?"

mark came closer to you as he tucks some hair behind your ear, "it just came true." he whispered as he quickly diverted his vision towards the tree nearby. you softly held mark's chin as you got him to face you, your body suddenly heating up inside the white crewneck sweatshirt you were wearing. you both felt euphoric as the sudden confession still felt unreal. you both felt rewarded after keeping in the hopes and feelings for one another.

unconsciously, you both started to close in while the background started to seem blurry, and the only things that were clear to your visions were each other. "can i?" granting him permission mark closed the gap in between both of you, feeling his own soft set above yours. you returned the favor as you cautiously mimicked what mark did, creating a slow rhythm for the both of you.

lasting a good few seconds, you both broke away with heated cheeks and pleased hearts. mark pulled you closer as he now has you in between in him, hugging you from behind. he laid you back into his chest and placed one more kiss, smiling afterward. you locked your phone once again after posting another story. (check below) you both were glad that the wishes of becoming each other's pair were finally granted. mark continued to sway you in his arm, looking up at the succeeding eclipse. "hey y/n,"

"the moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

———

(for those who doesn't know it actually means 'i love you' !)

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phcking-detective · 4 years

Text

Baby I Can See Heaven in Your Eyes

Rating: E

Tags: dirty talk / voice kink, heavy petting, dry humping, delayed / denied orgasm, hair pulling, light pet play (Nines is called kitten and told to "sit"), oral fixation, crying, kissing and cuddling as (brief) aftercare before the scene continues, sexual possessiveness, fingering, sub space

TW: sexual roleplay that Gavin is Nines’s “owner” and Nines is his “companion model,” like an at-home Traci; no kink negotiation beforehand, but Gavin checks in with Nines frequently for explicit consent; Nines has a vagina (no gender play)

***

Nines cannot wait for his human to return home, so that he can test his most recent experiment. Thus far, he has tested a phallus, a vaginal component, two dildos, and a vibrator.

He is looking forward to also gathering data on Gavin's dick.

"Hello, detective," he greets the moment of the human's arrival.

Thing One and Thing Two greet him as well, One by rubbing against his legs and purring, and Two by screaming for attention. They have both been fed, and Nines plans on giving them their favorite electronic mouse to hunt as a distraction so he can have the human to himself for the evening.

"Hey, baby," Gavin says. He kneels down and pets both cats. "Hello beasties. Yes, hello. Are you lying? Have you been fed?"

"Yes, they have," Nines answers for them. "Please ignore their wails of alleged hunger."

"Dirty rotten liars," Gavin calls them affectionately.

Nines remotely deploys the mouse with a swirl of his LED. It is big enough to contain a small amount of wet food inside, and the "beasties" quickly chase it into the kitchen.

Gavin stands up with a snort. "Oh, did you want attention too? What've you been doing today?"

"Yes," Nines says shamelessly. "I spent the afternoon thoroughly masturbating myself. How was work?"

Gavin tries to hang his jacket on a coat hook that does not exist and drops it on the floor. "You—what?"

"I spent the afternoon thoroughly masturbating myself. How was work?" Nines asks.

"Not as fun as that," Gavin mutters as he picks up the jacket and tries again. "Did you … uh. Have fun?"

"Yes. I should really thank Connor," Nines says.

Gavin pulls a face. "You fucked Connor? In my—shit, OK. Well. Our apartment? Not on my bed though, right? That's still mine."

Nines rolls his eyes in return. "No, Gavin. I did not fuck Connor. He simply informed me that sex is not merely for reproduction and that it is not hyperbole when humans say they want to fuck someone."

Gavin stares at him. Nines understands. This is all very new information that seemed dubious to him as well.

"Apparently, humans really are out there 'fucking' one another," Nines explains.

"… yeah," Gavin says.

Nines analyzes him, noting his elevated heart rate. "Did you know about this, detective?"

"I—don't scan me!" Gavin snaps. "My sex life is none of your business."

"Oh." Nines feels his LED circle yellow-yellow-red. "But you are sexually attracted me, and Connor said that is not merely an annoying physical response on par with hiccups. Do you not want to have sex with me?"

"On par with …" Gavin stops and rubs his hands across his face. "Phck. We're really going to talk about this, huh? We're just gonna have a whole goddamn conversation about it."

"Yes," Nines says. "Detective."

Gavin puts his hands down to glare at him. "OK, just because I got drunk one time—"

"You get drunk fre—"

"AHT!" Gavin cuts him off with the no-noise he uses on the cats. "One time and ordered a companion android, who—"

"You did not," Nines reminds him. "You googled 'tall smexy anboid' 'want hot robo friemd' and 'am robots gay question-mark question-mark question-mark' before passing out."

"I hate you."

"You think I'm pretty."

"AUGH!"

Gavin stalks into the living room and throws himself onto the couch. Nines does not understand why his human insists on making everything so emotional and difficult and emotionally difficult.

He clearly desires android sexual companionship, given his drunken attempt to order a companion model — [confirmed].

He is sexually attracted to Nines, given that he mistook the RK900's first appearance at his apartment the next morning (entirely coincidental; Captain Fowler assigned them as partners) to be the companion model he attempted to order — [confirmed].

He did not reject the "companion model," despite all commentary from other humans (Cyberlife employees; DPD employees) indicating Nines is [creepy], [inhuman], [terrifying], et cetera, et cetera. Gavin instead labeled him a [big pretty bitch] and [all my phcking wet dreams come true, goddamn].

"You think I'm pretty," Nines repeats.

Gavin finally lifts his head out of his hands. "Yes. You're the prettiest fucking sass bot ever produced."

[confirmed]

"You find me sexually attractive as well, and it is true that humans actually act on those physical desires, yes?" Nines asks.

Gavin sighs and lets his head drop against the back of the couch. "Yeah."

"I have installed a vaginal component, and I—"

"Oh my god," Gavin whispers at the ceiling.

"—have confirmed I enjoy penetrative stimulation," Nines continues. "You are in possession of a phallus, correct?"

Gavin looks up at him. "OK, so you're bored of dildos and you want to try out my dick?"

"Is anyone other than your hand making use of it?" Nines replies.

"Phck off."

"Gladly."

Nines takes a seat on Gavin's lap. This is his [favorite] spot. Now he knows why it flusters the human so much, and also possibly why he enjoys it so much. Could he have been experiencing [sexual arousal] even without a genital component? Interesting.

"Baby," Gavin groans.

Nines relocates the human's hands to his thighs. Gavin obligingly begins rubbing them, almost reaching up high enough to cup his ass. He has sat in this spot before, firstly to mimic the cats, because they seemed to enjoy sitting on Gavin's lap and being petted. Then for [cuddling] and telling each other about their day.

Of course he had noted Gavin's reaction to this; he simply did not categorize it as relevant. The human's stomach also sometimes growled while around the cats, but that bodily reaction did not mean Gavin literally wanted to or would ever eat either one of them. Human bodies sometimes just do things.

But now Nines can recognize he is the [cause] of this particular reaction.

(And also note his new genital component's reaction to his human rubbing his thighs and calling him baby in that tone of voice.)

"Detective," Nines says in return.

Gavin huffs out a growl. "Dammit, Nines. You should—you can … go get another human. Or android, I guess. Just. Someone else."

Nines pulls back enough to ensure he can fully scan the human. Arousal — [confirmed]. No detection of [fear]. Gavin wants this and presumably is not coerced or intoxicated.

But admittedly, Nines did not have a social module pre-installed. He has learned from experience, observing humans in his new profession as a librarian, and … mimicking Gavin's cats.

(Not that he's told that last fact to Connor.)

"Clarify," Nines demands. "Do you not want this?"

Gavin, much like his cats when told to get off the counter, looks away and pretends not to hear him.

"Am I sexually assaulting you?" Nines asks.

"Wha—" Gavin finally gives him a reaction. "No! Fuck, god."

"I am requesting that you fuck me."

Gavin gives him a slow look up and down. "Closest I'm gonna get to heaven, huh?"

Nines preens under his gaze. Question answered, now reassured that his actions are not harming the human, he deploys another helpful tactic he has learned from Thing One and Thing Two.

He repeatedly butts his face into Gavin's to request attention.

"Kiss me."

"Nines, I—"

"Kiss me. Kiss me."

Gavin grabs a fistful of his hair and yanks him into a kiss. Nines ignores the notifications of a mission successfully completed as they scroll across his HUD in order to focus on the experience.

For how roughly Gavin maneuvered him into it, the [kiss] is surprisingly gentle. His lips press insistently against Nines's, drawing back slightly and then pressing again, but it is nothing like the people on TV who seem to be eating each other's faces.

It is … very nice. Warm. The human's lips aren't quite soft, due to chapping from the cold Detroit weather, but the texture is so [interesting]. And the contrast between lips and stubble and the slight pull of the hand still gripping his hair makes his internal cooling fans kick in to abate the sudden rise in temperature.

Then, just as Nines lets his guard down, Gavin bites his lip.

It does not [hurt] or cause any damage of course, but Nines still opens his mouth to ask why—and the human uses that split second to delve his tongue inside.

Analysis explodes across the android's HUD. Gavin's DNA, the hormones present in his saliva, traces of coffee. (And when was the last time he had a meal? Nines should be detecting actual food as well [reminder: my human has not yet consumed his daily caloric intake])

Gavin pulls back and separates their mouths. Unacceptable. Nines pushes forward and puts his own tongue inside the human's mouth to continue his analysis.

For some reason, Gavin pushes him away.

"No tongue until you learn how to kiss," he's told.

Nines does not pout. He presents a perfectly reasonable argument. "I was analyzing you."

"Yeah, that's why I made the rule," Gavin replies. "There's a difference between kissing and analyzing. Also, I need to breathe."

Well. The second fact does hold some merit …

"We can still make out." Gavin shifts his hand from Nines's hair to cup his face. "Just let me lead, all right baby?"

Nines nods and obediently holds still until Gavin guides his face back down. The kiss starts slow again, and the next nip at his bottom lip only tugs on it slightly before Gavin lets go and kisses him again. Nines tries to follow the pattern of when to press forward and when to tilt his—

Gavin's hands slide over the tops of his thighs and then inside them, thumbs pressed close to his groin. Nines barely has time to process this change (he is still being [kissed]) before the detective uses his grip to pull his thighs wider over his lap.

"You wanna show me what I'm working with?" Gavin asks him, his voice low and rough and … very unfair.

Nines leans forward into the human's arms, dropping his head down to rest on his shoulder. He needs less stimulus to process all of this. He restricts his audio input to ignore any sounds outside of the apartment. The mouse program gets abandoned, so the cats will likely be able to bat it out from under the fridge soon. All he needs is Gavin, Gavin, Gavin.

"Touch me," he asks.

The thumb slowly drawing circles on the inside of his left thigh lifts up to stroke over his pubic plate, currently equipped with a vaginal component. It only takes a gentle press to push the fabric of his yoga pants into the slick mess Gavin has made of him.

"Your cunt all wet for me, baby?"

The profanity shivers through him, and Nines nods against his neck. That answer apparently was not [adequate] though, because Gavin takes his thumb nearly away, resting so lightly atop the fabric Nines can only feel his human body heat.

"Need an answer, Nines."

Nines works his mouth silently for a few seconds before remembering to activate his vocal unit. "Yes, Detective."

Gavin hums and it's almost a groan. Nines presses closer and licks his neck. That is not [kissing]. This analysis of his sweat and skin should not be forbidden.

"I'm going to touch you," Gavin tells him.

Nines lifts his head to exhale a cloud of steam. It does very little to lower his rising core temperature, not when Gavin's thumb swipes up to pet across the crotch of his yoga pants until he finds his clit, grown swollen and plump. He chose a larger model, and he had very reasonable—

"Gaaav …"

—reasons. Reasonable … reasons. Yes. Many of them. Aesthetics and—and—more sensors to—

"Oh, baby," Gavin murmurs in that voice. "You need it, kitten? Look at you, you're trembling, and I'm barely even touching you."

That is an unfair assessment. Nines tries to formulate the argument but blows out steam again instead. Gavin has his voice, and the way he spread Nines's thighs so wide, he can clearly see the growing damp patch he's making.

The way that also leaves Nines's [cunt] spread wide, lips separated and hole clenching around nothing.

It feels … [filthy]

[embarrassing]

[exciting]

"So good for me." Gavin pulls Nines's face out of the crook of his neck by his hair. "Let me see you."

Nines goes with the motion. The human has a firm grip on his hair, right at the root, so the tugging doesn't actually [hurt], although the complete lack of resistance likely helps.

But he can hardly see his detective past all the error notifications crowding up his HUD.

Gavin apparently likes what he sees. "Beautiful. My pretty baby."

He doesn't stop circling his thumb around Nines's clit as he says it, and Nines whimpers. He tries to push his hips forward to get more pressure, more touching, more of anything, but Gavin takes his hand away entirely to still his hips.

"Please," Nines gasps.

Gavin gives him a stern look. "Behave."

Nines shudders all over, a full body malfunction. His core temperature has risen almost to dangerous levels. Gavin tugs his head back, forcing his chin up. Nines doesn't understand why (is he no longer allowed to view his human?) until a prompt flashes in red to exhale.

He releases a burst of steam that would have been too hot for human comfort, but Gavin has already preconstructed that. He is allowed to lower his head again once he's completed a few breathing cycles. His temperature and stress levels begin a slow descent as he settles into the knowledge that Detective Reed will take care of him.

"Please, Detective." Nines blinks several times to clear all the notifications. "I will be good."

He saves several still images of the way Gavin looks as he considers: his eyes more black than grey-green, the slight flush across his cheeks, the obvious press of his erection inside his jeans, yet he still remains in control.

(Of them both.)

Gavin lifts up the hand on his hip and offers Nines his thumb. Nines gratefully lets his mouth fall open, thumb gently pressing inside to rest heavily on top of his tongue. His eyes drift shut to focus solely on the analysis he receives.

All too soon, the thumb is withdrawn, but he doesn't have time to protest before it's pressing back into his clit again, even wetter than before, the damp fabric hardly even a barrier at all.

And then does not move.

"What do you say," Gavin asks lowly.

"Th—" Nines gasps. "Thank you, De—Detect—ohhh."

Gavin's own legs underneath him prevent him from closing his thighs around the hand between his legs, and the hand in his hair holds his head hostage so that he cannot look away. He doesn't know what to do with his hands until he realizes that at some point, he put them behind his back, an old program partially activated to stand at parade rest.

This is much better.

"You like this baby?"

Nines tries to nod against the hand in his hair and forces his LED to flash blue along the yellow and red.

"Good boy," Gavin praises. "Just gonna check when your light's been red for a while, all right?"

Nines doesn't answer this time. He just sinks down into it, the obedience of holding perfectly still, the care Gavin shows him, letting someone else have control for once. He enjoyed the way masturbation made his awareness of physical sensation temporarily overtake his thoughts, but he did not expect … this.

Except just when he feels his orgasm approaching, Gavin takes his hand away. He must make some sort of distressed noise, because his detective immediately reassures him.

"Shhh, shhh, I've still got you. You're good, so good for me, baby."

Gavin rearranges their legs as he speaks, holding both hands on Nines's sides to help support and balance him with his hands still gripping his wrists behind his back. The relocation stops with their legs staggered, Nines kneeling with one of Gavin's legs between both of his own instead of straddling his whole lap.

"You wanted to sit in my lap, didn't you kitten?" Gavin says. It is not a question. "So sit."

Nines doesn't understand, but he lowers himself back down anyway to [sit] on top of—

Oh.

Both of Gavin's hands go to his hips this time, showing him how to grind down on the thigh between his legs. The pleasure is not as [focused] as being petted with his thumb, but he finally gets pressure against his entrance as well.

"C'mere."

Nines doesn't realize he's broken posture to slump forward until Gavin pulls him in all the way, carefully nestling him to rest against his chest—although the android does still have to bend slightly to put their heads on an even level due to the height difference.

"Is this what you wanted?" Gavin turns his head to speak softly in his ear. "All those times you crawled in my lap, sat here like this, knowing how goddamn hard you get me?"

Nines whimpers and takes it, almost like a punishment, but so [good]. He only moves his hips as Gavin's hands direct them, as his leg pushes up and his hands pull him down.

"I shouldn't even be this nice to you." Gavin lets out a sigh. "But fuck it, you're cute. Go ahead and take a freebie, baby."

Nines tries to make his next whine sound a bit more questioning, to indicate he doesn't understand the meaning of that either. Luckily, Gavin pays attention. He always pays attention to Nines, in a [good] way, not afraid or gossiping about him behind his back.

"I'm going to let you come this time," he explains.

Gavin drops a kiss against his temple as Nines fixates on the very specific phrasing [this time]. Now he's the one a little scared, but not bad, not bad, it's too [good] to be [bad].

"Wh-when?" Nines manages to ask.

Gavin laughs, deep and almost mean. The not-fear shivers through him again.

He does not receive an answer.

***

Gavin knows he's a bad man. He's a very, very bad man, but goddamn if the universe hasn't rewarded him for it.

"That's it," he tells the gorgeous android rubbing off in his lap. "Next time I won't even have to show you how. Leave my hands free so I can have a smoke."

A cigarette is damn near the only thing that could make this any better. If this isn't a one-time curiosity experiment for Nines, he'll really have to try that the next time.

But for now, he focuses on the present, the absolute goddamn gift Nines is.

"Been waiting for this all day, haven't you?"

He doesn't give Nines time to answer. His thigh flexes underneath the slick cunt desperately grinding into it, and his android whimpers out static.

"How many times have you come already?" he asks.

"S-s-seven," Nines answers through a glitch.

Well. Gavin has to at least work him up to his own number, doesn't he?

"And no refractory period. Goddamn." Gavin sighs in mild envy while petting through his hair. "I could keep you here, just like this, all evening long. Keep you coming and begging for hours."

Nines lets out a grinding noise that might be the android equivalent of a sob. His hips finally lose their rhythm under Gavin's hand, just chasing his own pleasure now. He really shouldn't allow that so easily, but then again, Nines is a virgin who's never done kink before. Or anything else, actually.

So Gavin lets him have it.

But since he's a bad man, not an altruistic one, he pulls Nines's head back by his hair to see his pretty face, eyes wide and unfocused, lips slightly parted. There's a soft blue blush across his cheek's he's never seen before, and his LED practically strobes in his temple.

"Good boy, gonna make you come every time you sit this pretty little pussy in my lap."

Nines squeezes his eyes shut and whines. That's all right. He's too fucked out to make eye contact anyway, but one thing that isn't allowed …

Gavin presses his thumb inside the android's lips, pushing down on his tongue until his mouth drops open. He rubs the pad of it back and forth against the soft muscle for a moment, then down to smear the wet faux-saliva across his bottom lip.

"Keep your mouth open," he orders. "You're only allowed to come if you open that pretty mouth for me."

Nines gives a jerky nod, and Gavin sits back to enjoy the show. He pets his free hand across the android's chest and sides, feeling him up through the thin t-shirt as he rides his leg like he downloaded a Traci program to do it.

Eventually, the android starts spinning more red than yellow, hot air pushed out of his mouth with nearly even exhale, and he pushes his tongue out farther over his lips to show that his mouth is open.

And ohhh, Gavin is so bad. He rubs his thumb over that soft, pink tongue until it's nice and wet, then reaches up underneath his shirt to rub circles around one hard nipple.

Nines starts letting out shuddering sobs that Gavin lets wash over him, feeling them go straight to his dick like the android is being a good little companion and licking up his shaft. Next time, next time …

Finally, he scrounges around deep down in his soul to find some mercy.

"Come on my leg, baby."

He barely gets to "my" before Nines obeys, face dropping slack and LED pulsing a steady Yellow. Red. Yellow. Gavin gets to watch as his tongue gives the tiniest little flexes, like he's sucking cock in a dream.

If he were nice, he'd press his thumb back inside and help his orgasm along by giving Nines something to suck on.

Instead, he waits it out. Good training requires the sub to be just as desperate for it as you are, and he's going to let Nines work his way through a few orgasms with his mouth open and searching, so that when he finally presses the head of his cock into those sweet pretty lips, his android won't feel anything but gratitude.

When Nines finally slumps forward and begins crying against his neck, Gavin lets go of his hair and rubs both hands up and down his back.

"Shhh, hey, I got you," he says softly. "You were good, so good, baby. It's OK, just let it all out."

Nines sniffles, then begins studiously licking up his tears. Gavin would be a little concerned about his sub getting too deep into the headspace for their first time, except Nines licking his face, neck, and any other body part he can reach is pretty typical.

"Did that feel good?"

That gets a slow sigh of air that's just warm, not scalding hot. Gavin rubs a hand up the android's chest next, and Nines starts up a rumbling purr. Blue light spins in the corner of his eye. So he'll take all that as a yes.

"You want kisses?" he asks next.

Nines immediately butts his face against Gavin's cheek. He shouldn't have let the asshole learn how to be social from his fucking cats.

"All right, all right," he grumbles.

Gavin scoops up the lanky android in his arms as much as he can and turns them to the side so they can lay down on the couch, with himself on top of course. Nines lounges back against the cushions, black hair fanning out around his head like a dark halo. He reaches for Gavin and tugs on his shirt when he spends too long admiring the view.

Since he's already so spoiled anyway … Gavin obliges him with kisses. Nines hums and purrs throughout it, LED now a gentle baby blue.

"Did you like that?" Gavin asks quietly between the two of them.

He should have started this scene with that—some rules and a safeword at least—but he'll try to make up for it now with the aftercare.

Nines nods shyly, presenting his face for more kisses. Gavin gives them to him, but he keeps each one light and short to help them both wind down. They need to talk about if this will be an ongoing arrangement, and if Nines just wants to sub or if he wants to really dig deep and roleplay as Gavin's personal companion android.

Gavin tries to open up that conversation. "What do you want now, baby?"

Nines slowly opens his eyes and blinks up at him. His LED turns a slow, lazy yellow for a moment while he glances down.

Then he looks back up and clearly says, "Dick."

Gavin reflexively looks down at his own crotch—which is apparently where Nines was looking, not just demurely averting his gaze, the thirsty little bitch. He meets Nines's eyes again and sees the android watching him expectantly, like a pillow princess waiting to be serviced.

"Don't know how anyone mistook you for a detective," Gavin tells him. "When you're obviously such a slut."

Nines blushes and closes his eyes, but he doesn't bother to hide his preening smirk.

"But you're gonna have to earn that, baby," Gavin continues.

Nines opens his eyes to shoot him the wounded look he learned from their little beasties when being removed from the bed so Gavin can get some goddamn sleep without an eight pound cat laying on his face.

"I can be good," he promises. He glances down between them again. "I do not have a refractory period."

And then he looks up at Gavin from underneath his lashes with those big blue eyes, and all thoughts of kink negotiation and safe words take a running leap and crash through the window.

"I'm going to take off your pants and play with that pretty pussy of yours until you start crying again."

Nines nods eagerly. He even lifts his hips like a good boy to help Gavin peel the yoga pants off him, a sticky strand of lubrication stringing between his lips and the crotch for a moment before the thread breaks. That gets the android blushing and whirring again, but Gavin just chuckles.

He lifts the t-shirt too, but instead of taking it off, he tucks it behind Nines's neck. It's a pitiful restraint, especially against an RK model, but Nines obligingly tucks his arms back behind his back, then waits obediently for Gavin to begin.

And this had better be a long-term thing, because Gavin doesn't think he can ever let anyone touch his android after this. Not with how Nines is looking at him, so open and sincere, without a single doubt that whatever happens next will be good and safe.

He might be a bad man, but shit. At least he knows that. And he also knows how many losers and assholes are out there, sociopaths and abusers and people who are honestly just too dumb and selfish to notice when they hurt someone.

No, his Nines is never going to experience any of that.

"Did you think about me when you touched yourself?" Gavin asks.

He runs his hands up the insides of Nines's legs while he asks the question. That's unfair enough, but rubbing his thumbs right at the creases in his thighs as Nines tries to answer borders on mean.

"I—I, yes. Did." Nines stutters.

Gavin skirts his hands up higher, just barely resting on the outsides of his flushed lips. His clit is big enough to push out past them, a teasing little peek-a-boo that makes Gavin's mouth water. It looks just as fat and swollen with arousal as it had felt when he'd petted over it through the pants.

"Do you like having something in your cunt, baby?"

He gets even meaner when he punctuates this question by using his thumbs to gently pull his lips apart and watch the way his exposed hole clenches and flutters. Nines manages to make his moan sound something like please.

"You have to tell me if you want it," Gavin says sternly. "I'm not just gonna guess about something like that."

Nines frantically nods, his mouth working silently around gasps. He's so worked over just having his legs spread and his pussy put on display. Gavin decides to have mercy—mostly on himself.

"Shhh, OK. I'm going to play with you now."

He circles his thumb around the android's clit gently at first, just watching what kind of reaction partial stimulation to it gets him. Nines shudders out an exhale and his thighs tense.

"That's right, you need to keep your hips still," Gavin tells him.

Nines nods again, blindly, his eyes shut and mouth agape.

"Do you want it like this?"

Gavin slides his other hand up Nines's side, over his chest, to rest lightly on top of his throat. Nines slowly opens his eyes, LED sluggishly spinning yellow. Gavin times the slow circles around his clit to it.

"With rules and taking orders," Gavin explains. "Where you need to obey and behave."

"Yes," Nines breathes out.

He doesn't take that as his real answer right away. "Or do you want it more casual?"

Nines blinks hard, twice, and cocks his head.

"Where I tell you what to do, since I've got more experience. But," He lets go of the android's throat. "You can do what you want. You don't have to hold still or—"

Nines shakes his head no for the first time. "I … I want … to be … good."

"As a good boy, or my own personal companion android,"

Gavin strokes his thumb directly down the length of Nines's swollen clit for the first time.

"That I can pet,"

He keeps his thumb where it is and shifts his fingers to tease the tip of his index against the entrance clenching at it.

"And play with,"

"Yes, yes, please," Nines chants.

Gavin presses the finger inside and it goes so easy. Enough for him to believe Nines really has spent the entire afternoon doing nothing but fucking himself in Gavin's own bed.

"And fuck,"

He adds a second finger without any resistance and gets those tears he promised. He really can't stop a grin from spreading across his face at that, just as sharp and vicious as any of the RK's interrogation protocols.

"Whenever, and however …" He pulls his hand out entirely, leaving Nines gasping and wrenching his eyes back open to stare up at him in pleading confusion. "I want."

Nines sniffles and starts to shift his hips to seek out any stimulation he can. Gavin stills them with both hands, and tries to keep his voice soft and free of judgment for the next part.

"Do you still want to behave?" he asks.

He watches as Nines realizes what that really means. What he would be promising Gavin—just for this scene. They really do still need to have an actual talk before he'll accept anything as a permanent, serious answer, but he can't resist at least throwing this option out there for now.

Nines tilts his head back to release steam, but then he settles back down. His whole body eases in a way Gavin has never seen before actually—even though he rejected his programming in terms of working for either Cyberlife or the DPD, it always still shone through in his perfect posture and too-formal speech.

This is the first time he's ever seen the android look … relaxed.

Gavin waits, but he doesn't even attempt to hide the way he sweeps his gaze over Nines's body, appreciating the thick chest, pecs well-defined enough to almost give him a bust, nipples hard and begging for attention, and his legs still spread wide, showing off a perfectly manicured triangle of soft black curls right over where his cunt drools onto the couch.

He drags his eyes back up to meet Nines's soft look, utterly relaxed and blinking slowly. He already knows what the answer will be just from that, but he still waits for it.

"Yes, Detective."

***

this was commissioned by @gavinisqueertbh and you can find my commission info pinned to the top of my blog! subscribers to my patreon get early access to all my commissioned fics two weeks before they’re posted here and on AO3 for free ^^

#reed900 #gavin reed #dbh #dbh fic #detroit: become human #my writing

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liberolove · 4 years

Text

Testing the Waters (pt. 2)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part two] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

It’s been three days since the last time you saw Yuu. Gosh, even saying his name to yourself gave you goosebumps. You two have been texting non stop and honestly, it felt so refreshing. You were a pretty bad texter but he knew how to keep the conversation going.

One of his favorite things to do was play 21 questions with you. He wasn’t like those fuckboys who would use this opportunity to ask you if you were a virgin or what your favorite position was. Yuu was different. He came up with the craziest scenarios and judged you on the way you answered. One time he asked you how you would escape a 300 lb lion that just broke out of the zoo you were visiting. You honestly had no idea how to respond but eventually you replied,

“I’d make sure to run with a crowd and ‘accidentally’ trip a slow runner so that the lion could get distracted and probably (most likely) attack them. This would buy me some time to get the hell out there.”

This response caught Noya off guard but he loved the way you thought. You continued to come up with barbaric schemes to survive all the scenarios he would throw at you. He kept you guessing and that was what you liked so much about him. He was wild and so were you.

You were getting a little impatient over your next date so you took a deep breath and eventually asked him.

Y/N: Heeey, Yuu. I was wondering when you’d like to go out again. I’d really like to go out with you again.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey cutie! I’ve been wanting to see you again but I haven’t had any days off from work lately.. (; ･`д･´) IM DYING!! I just wanna see yoouuuuu

Y: Aw man.. :( That sucks. When do you think you’ll get your next day off?

N: idk tbh but hopefully it’s soon!!

Y: no worries, just let me know.

N: will do!!

Well, that was that. Now you wondered what you should do to pass the time. You were bored again and needed something to do. “Oh wait. I should check the app. I haven’t checked since I messaged Yuu on there. Maybe I have more matches.”

You opened up the app and you had 10 notifications. You had gotten some likes on the selfie you posted and several people viewed your profile. You checked who looked at your profile, and it was mostly ugly, older, men. “Gross,” you thought to yourself. Besides this, you noticed some new messages.

You opened up the first message.

“Hey sexy! Wanna come see me play? Click my link https://…..”

“Damn bots. So annoying.” You deleted the message. Next message:

“DTF?”

“I mean like yeah, but you could’ve been less forward in your message. What a turn off..” You had one last notification left. Maybe it wouldn’t be a let down.

“Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne.”

To be honest, this pick up line did make you giggle a little. You checked out the profile of the mysterious stranger who sent it and you were surprised that it was a bulked up biker. And damn, was he hot as hell.

His hair stood up in an organized, weird bed head kind of way. It made him look like a rooster. Rather than smile in his photos, he smirked. And his eyes looked like he could undress you solely with his gaze. He looked like your typical bad boy, but that didn’t make sense. Why would he use a chemistry pick up line?

This made you become even more interested, so you replied back with another cheesy pick up line.

Y/N: I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.

Kuroo Tetsuro: Hey, kitten. I thought you’d never reply. You had me waiting.

Y: umm??? calling me kitten already?

K: What’s wrong? Are you flustered already? We haven’t even met up yet.

Y: woah there cowboy! hold your horses

K: I’m not a cowboy, but I’ll gladly have you ride me instead.

Y: skskskks i cant even-

K: Sorry. Too much?

Y: YES TOO MUCH

K: Alright. Let me start over. Ahh, a fellow chemist, I presume?

Y: yeaaah, kind of. I have a love/hate relationship with chemistry.

K: Is that so? Maybe I can help with that.

Y: oh really? how so?

K: I am a chemistry major after all. I go to Sendai. Do you go to school?

Y: uhhh i’m going to start there in the fall. I still haven’t decided what to major in, just yet.

K: Maybe you’ll end up being a chemistry major like me and I can give you private one on one lessons?

Y: I highly doubt that, but nice try.

K: Have you gotten a tour of the campus yet? Or are you waiting for freshman orientation?

Y: nah, I haven’t seen all of it yet.

K: Would you like to?

Y: um sure! When are you free for my private tour? (:

K: How about tomorrow in the morning? Maybe around 9am? I can pick you up too if you’d like.

Y: Sounds good and no thanks. I’m not riding on that motorcycle! Looks scary :(

K: Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll drive safely and make sure nothing happens to you.

Y: there you go again.

K: Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. No, but really. I don’t mind picking you up. Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?

Y: nope

K: Then, let’s change that. Send me your address tomorrow morning. And get some rest.

Y: alrighty it’s a plan then!

K: No. It’s a date.

Y: sksksk omg

After that conversation, all you could think about was how the hell did you get into this mess? Motorcycles are dangerous, yet this rooster convinced you so easily to take a ride with him..

It was an understatement to say that you were nervous for tomorrow.

You set an alarm for 7 am the next day and went to bed.

Your alarm woke you up and you immediately remembered why you were awake so early. You rushed into the shower and once you were out, you spent 30 minutes deciding on what to wear. You opted for some black, ripped skinny jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt.

At 8am on the dot, your phone’s notification bell went off. It was Kuroo.

“What’s your address, baby?”

You sent him the details and continued getting ready. You put on some light makeup and brushed your hair. You checked the time, and it was already 8:55 am. Then, your phone went off again.

“I’m outside.”

Your heart almost beat out of your chest. You grabbed your purse and put on some chapstick. You know, just in case..

You locked up your apartment and walked down the stairs. You were greeted by the biggest shit eating grin on the sexiest man you’d ever seen. You never went for the bad boys but college is a time for experimenting.

“Hey, Y/N. You ready to ride? I brought an extra helmet for you.”

“Hi, Kuroo. And yeah, I guess,” your voice shook as you replied. You were really nervous but you tried to hide it.

“Don’t worry, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll keep you safe.”

His words made you melt and you had just met him. The way he cooed at you and looked your way made you blush. You felt your cheeks get hotter by the second.

“Alright. Hop on and hold on to my waist. Hold on tight or else you’re gonna fly away when I take off. Okay?”

“..okay..” you managed to mutter. You were shaking but you put on the helmet he gave you and lifted up your leg to sit on the metal machine. You slowly hugged Kuroo from behind and held on as tight as you could. Your head was smashed right up against his large, broad back.

“Ready?” he asked.

“..yeah,” you squeaked.

Before you finished saying this, he had taken off like the devil was chasing him. If this was his meaning of safe driving, you didn’t want to find out his meaning of reckless driving.

The ride to Sendai University only took about 5 minutes, when realistically it would take 20 minutes by bus. You arrived and Kuroo teased, “are you going to let go, kitty?”

You hadn’t realized you were still gripping onto him for dear life. You released him from your hold and your hands still tingled from the amount of force you applied to his shirt. “Sorry!”

“No worries. Hey, look! I brought you here alive. Aren’t you glad?” he cackled.

His laugh sounded like a dying hyena but it did sound a little cute at the same time. “Yeah. Thank goodness. Your driving is insane, dude.”

He showed you all over campus, from the administrative buildings to the gymnasium, to the fields. Sendai was a pretty big campus, and it made you glad that you had a personal guide to show you all the different buildings.

After your little tour was over, he asked, “wanna grab a bite to eat? I’ll be a gentleman and pay for you too.”

Of course, you couldn’t say no to food. Much less, FREE FOOD! You nodded and got ready to ride the devil’s machinery again.

He took you to a nearby sushi bar. “Order whatever you’d like, princess. Today, I want to spoil you rotten.”

You melted at his words and also at the variety of rolls on the menu. You didn’t ask him if he really meant that you could order anything. You just kind of went for it. You ordered everything from shrimp tempura, to octopus, to eel. Sushi was your favorite and being told that you could order everything was a dream come true.

“Damn, girl! I had no idea you had such a huge appetite! I didn’t know you’d take me seriously on my offer. You’re gonna run my pockets dry.”

You blushed and looked away. “Sorry, Kuroo. I really couldn’t help myself. I love sushi so much.”

“I’m just teasing you, baby. You deserve to be treated like this everyday.”

You had no idea how to respond so you just kept stuffing your face with sushi.

After you finally had your fill, it was time to go home. It was getting late. Kuroo took you home and you were definitely more relaxed this time on the bike.

“I hope you had a great time today, kitty. And I hope I met your standards.”

“Yes, I did! Thank you so much, Kuroo! This was honestly so much fun. Thanks for everything.”

“Of course. Nothing but the best for you. I just need one little favor from you, baby.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Can I get a kiss from your soft lips? I know you want to. I saw the way you kept staring at me, today.”

“Oh.. uhh.. Y-yea-yeah. Sure, of course.. Yeah,” you stammered.

You looked at him with soft, shy eyes and before you knew it, he leaned in quickly and kissed you on the lips. Your eyes were wide open in surprise but as he deepened the kiss, your eyes slowly shut.

The kiss felt like electricity coursing through your body. You didn’t know what it was, but this man definitely already had you wrapped around his long, slender finger.

As soon as you realized his hold on you, he backed off, and left you wanting more. He was such a tease.

“I can’t just let you have everything today, kitten. I need you wanting more.”

You didn’t know what to respond so you looked down at the ground shyly.

“I’ll message you later, y/n. Don’t make me wait too long, again.”

You waved and muttered, “Thank you, Kuroo.”

He revved up his bike and was gone in seconds.

You remained in a daze as you walked back up to your apartment. Once you got inside, you plopped down on your couch and released a long sigh. “Who knew that college was going to be so exciting..”

[link to kuroo pic i found]

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kaspbrak-tozier-reddie · 5 years

Text

Tutor - Reddie

College!AU

Warnings: swearing,

Masterlist + Prompt list (taking requests)

———————————————————————

Eddie was sure that he was going to pass out. If the notification for his math grade did bot come through soon, he was certain that he was going to pass out from stress.

“Chill Eddio Spaghettio.” Richie, Eddie’s roommate, said. “It’ll come through soon.”

“Don’t call me that!” Eddie groaned, “Besides don’t you have a date, asshole?”

“Nah, he was a dick only wanting dick so I left early.” Eddie groaned again.

It wasn’t that he hated his roommate, it was the fact that his roommate was annoying and constantly talking through a bunch of dirty jokes. Most of the time those said jokes were aimed at Eddie and his mother.

He was a piece of shit, in the eyes of Edward Kaspbrak. Richie was a high achieving student who barely had to study, while Eddie tried and tried and got high grades across all areas except maths. Needless to say, Eddie was jealous. Richie was everyone’s favourite student, he was well behaved, never skipped classes (unless he had good reasons). It was hard for Eddie to watch as he was once again half a mark from being the top student, topped by Richie.

But Maths? Eddie was only just passing. In high school, he was almost valedictorian if it wasn’t for the fact that his friend Stanley Uris beat him in maths by a two mark difference. But because his grad school prerequired undergrad advanced maths, he struggled. He didn’t take advanced math in high school, just regular maths.

“How the fuck was he a dick?” Eddie asked, “if he was anything like you, I’d say that being a dick, is something you both have in common.”

“Ouch Spaghetti, who knew that you were a bully?”

A ding, from Eddie’s phone, interrupted the pair. Eddie shakily reached in his jeans pocket and pulled out the rectangular object, he threw it down on his bed as he looked at the notification saying that the grades were posted.

As he logged back into his computer, he had already had the grades list opened. Eddie’s hand was shaking as he clicked refresh and sure enough there were he grades. “Fuck me!” Eddie whimpered, it caused Richie to quickly move right beside him. There in all its glory was 35% for one of his topic exams before the mid-semester exam that was in a month. “I fucking failed?”

“You may just need a tutor Eds, it’s not the end of the world. Besides at least you actually put the effort in, unlike others.” Richie said rubbing Eddie’s back for comfort. The truth was Eddie didn’t want a tutor. He didn’t want to seem helpless and stupid, all he wanted was to prove that he could do it.

Richie left the room to hang out with his friends, leaving Eddie with the lingering feeling of Richie’s hand on his back. A kaleidoscope of butterflies filled his stomach as his back tingled. Eddie ignored it because there was no way he liked his annoying roommate.

Eddie took full advantage and signed up for a math tutor. He caved, he needed help, there was no way that he would get into any good grad schools (especially medical school) without this class. Failing was just not an option for him especially when his mom was paying majority for his college tuition.

****

The next day, Eddie had made his way down to the library to meet his tutor. He walked slowly alongside the isles, in the quiet study area. He checked the message again before deciding to move into the loud group study area. Sure enough, there was his tutor, lounging on one of the booths, as he got closer he noticed that he looked familiar.

All too familiar.

“Eddio Spaghettio? You’re my student?” Richie exclaimed getting up from the seat.

“Seems like it.” Eddie huffed in annoyance. “Let’s get this over with.”

Eddie sat down beside Richie and pulled out all his things required for maths. He had tagged the pages in red that he wanted help with, Richie was surprised that almost all of the tags, for the first half of the semester, were red. It made him wonder how long Eddie had been struggling in the class without addressing his problem before realising he needed a tutor.

“How much study for your other subjects do you have to do tonight?” Richie asked.

“Not a lot for this week, just assignments. Why?” Eddie answered.

“Because there’s a lot here so if you wanted to continue this session tonight or this week, I am happy to do that.” Eddie was seeing Richie in a new light, the socialite roommate he once knew to be a dick, was actually being nice and supportive.

As Richie pulled out his (minimal) notes and started looking at Eddie’s, it was obvious that there was some miscommunication somewhere when converting what the professor was explaining and what Eddie wrote.

“Okay, um, you’ve kinda mucked up what he was saying and you’ve also done the right steps in the wrong order. Which is why you’ve been struggling to get the right answer,” Richie explained. “Okay, let’s start with a simple algebraic equation that, if done correctly, Eddie should get a quadratic equation so he cold then solve for x.

Richie watched tentatively as Eddie tried to solve the equation. He moved closer, pressing his thigh to Eddie’s and leaned in to see what he was doing wrong.

“Okay, you’re taking the wrong thing over,” Richie said using his pen to point at Eddie’s mistake. “Try that particular line again.” He watched Eddie concentrate on the line. Eddie frowned slightly and chewed on his lower lip, he had no clue what to do. It took everything in Richie’s power to not help him, he had to pull away, slightly, just so that he didn’t help the poor boy and overstep his boundaries as a tutor.

****

At the dorm room, the two continued their study session. Eddie sat up at his desk while Richie was sprawled out on Eddie’s bed with a comic. “Okay so how do I convert this to radians?” Eddie asked Richie.

“Oh that is pi on 2,” Richie said looking briefly at the question.

“How?”

“I don’t know, I just do.” Richie shrugged and pulled an old notepad out from their shared bookshelf. “Here, this explains how. It’s assumed knowledge that you know how to convert degrees to radians and radians to degrees.”

“Is that why we were never taught how to do conversions?”

“Yeah, it’s stupid if you ask me. Newcomers, like yourself, wouldn’t know that and thus fail because of it.”

Eddie flicked through Richie’s high school notes and just like his notes now, it was very minimal. There was nothing to suggest that Richie even did any further study of the class content since it was only ever what was said in the lecture/class. It amazed Eddie that Richie even knew anything at all.

“Richie?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah?”

“Did you do any self-learning other than the class and lecture notes?”

“Yeah, but I use different books so I don’t mess up my clean book.”

“Can I see that one? These are helpful but it’s not really giving me much.” Richie nodded and retrieved his ‘working-out’ book from his bag. It wasn’t like Richie to give a student he was tutoring his rough working book. That book showed every smart approach to every question he practised. He didn’t want anyone copying his work and not being able to figure it out but he knew Eddie wasn’t like that.

Every time that Eddie sat down to revise and practise what they had learnt in their advanced math class, Eddie properly focused. He’d stay up late studying until he got most of the questions right or he became too tired to continue. Richie knew that if there was anyone to trust with his practise book, it was Eddie.

Eddie moved onto his bed, laying down with his study material propped up on his pillow. Richie was squished, comfortably, in the corner, his legs crossed at the ankles. “Want any help?” Richie asked tossing his comic up on Eddie’s desk.

“Yeah,” Eddie mumbled with a pencil stuck between his teeth. Richie pushed himself down, slotting himself comfortably between the wall and Eddie. “How do you even do derivatives?”

Richie moved closer and positioned himself so he could see the question. Eddie was blushing furiously, he had no idea why. The kaleidoscope of butterflies started to swarm around his stomach and his heartbeat started to echo in his ear. The smell of Richie’s musky cologne tickled his nose as did the subtle scent of cigarettes. He just couldn’t concentrate on whatever Richie was saying.

“Rich, uh, can we maybe pick up on this tomorrow? I’m a little overwhelmed.” Eddie said, interrupting Richie’s explanation.

“Huh? Yes, of course. Geez, you have been at this for 4 hours.” Richie replied and packed up all of Eddie’s and his books, tossing them lightly onto the floor.

Eddie immediately cuddled into Richie and fell asleep. Richie’s musk scented cologne, light smell of cigarettes and his warmth was all Eddie needed to know that he was safe.

As Richie watched as Eddie fell asleep on his chest he felt a somewhat startling but comforting warmth in the pit of his stomach. He knew that none of the guys or girls he dated could ever be like Eddie. Sweet but sassy, innocent but badass, quiet but annoying.

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #edward kaspbrak #richie tozer #richard tozier #eddie x richie #richie x eddie #it chapter 1 #it chapter 2

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sassypotatoe1 · 4 years

Text

Why do tech companies make things so unnecessarily fucking difficult to do?

Just use the fucking security email I gave you when I created my account to send me a new temporary password so I can create a new one when I forget my password. My answer to my security question is not wrong. The answer to what is your mother's first dog's maiden name will always be toto, I didn't change it, I didn't misspell it, I didn't get it wrong, and you still won't give me access to my damn account. Oh, you won't respond to my emails on your support address? You know, the one specifically created for responding to queries? That's fine, I can totally figure it out on my own from the support faq with useless and senseless tech jargon tossed together by some overworked, underpaid, and sleep deprived temp that has no clue how the damn shit works and is also not a tech person at all. That's fine. Oh your bot can help? Right, the one that keeps referring me to the same faq links that wasn't helpful at all the first time around, no matter how I word my query. Oh, I should email you on the matter if the bot can't help? Yeah, that would work great if you actually responded, but you don't, and if by some miracle you do, you also just refer me to the same useless faq links. Rate whether this answer was helpful? So you can improve your services? No it wasn't. What's that? You don't ask me why it wasn't helpful? Well how will you improve your services? Oh it's not your problem. I see. Fantastic. Oh you want me to take it into one of your stores so I can pay someone to fix it for me? Alright sure. Oh thanks! They fixed it that's gre- oh wait, no, the same problem just reappeared, but this time it brought its cousin, Slow Device, and it's grandma, Continuous Crashing. It's OKAY, we'll just take it in to get fixed again. Oh, shit, now they have to do all these other extra things too, and it costs twice as much as a new device, and I won't have my device for two weeks (but it's actually 3) which is the worst timing because I'm always using it for important shit. But that's okay, I'll just be THAT annoying always a burden always needing help friend again and use someone else's device in the meantime. You know what, let's add a mandatory warranty re-purchase to the list as well.

What started out as a password mistyped is now several thousand bucks in costs, two ruined relationships, and I still don't have access to my account, only now I can't do anything on my device, which is not even owned by the company that I have all these issues with, and I keep getting notifications every five minutes to pay some ridiculous price for software that was supposed to be lifetime access, at some supposed 60% off discount but it costs three times as much as when I purchased it, and now I can't use it because I refuse to buy it again even though I am supposed to have lifetime access to it. Product activation key? I put it in, your bullshit site said it was the wrong one. I only see one 12 digit activation key on the product card, if it ain't the right one, what the fuck is? Oh you don't know? I need to purchase a new one? Welp. Smells like fraud to me, but you made the reporting process have 17 000 000 steps, some of which make no sense, others which require my password, which as you recall, I don't have because you make it damn impossible to update, but that's okay, I'll just go in circles 50 times trying to get this shit right and eventually giving up and bootlegging the software because your capitalist, corrupt ass makes it impossible to actually use the product I paid for, without making me pay 50 times as much to make it work like it's supposed to. Fuck you. Fuck your product. Fuck your company. Fuck your money.

Sincerely, a generally tech savvy person who's been struggling with companies' bullshit for years and now feels highly stupid even though I know exactly what is actually the problem.

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

So, question for followers and mutuals:

As I’ve talked about before, the best route forward for me in getting my issues dealt with and into a more sustainable, capable position longterm is by getting as much stuff self-published as I can this year, and hopefully signed for a traditional pub project by at least an agent.

Given my situation, means, skillset and consistent resources, that’s really the only thing I can do that has a chance of actually turning things around instead of just treading water.

SO. That said, that’s what I’ve been working towards these past few months whenever I got a spare moment after paying for my basic needs, and finally at a point where I’m almost ready to do stuff with all that. So here’s my question:

I honestly don’t know what the hell most of you are here for, lmao. There’s no more graceful way to say that, and its not that I’m not GLAD you’re here, its just....I have zero baseline for what kind of content you’re actually here for vs what you just...put up with in between that content, lol. I know I’m all over the place, but weirdly though my follower count has been pretty damn consistent for a long time now, which means I’m not really losing followers ever? Which. Huh. I mean. Unless you’re all porn bots, which tbh, would explain Moukie...

But basically, I’m just trying to figure out what the best way to go about this is. I’ve got a site almost completed for my pen name that I’ll be publishing under, and I’ll be posting links to it and I’ll have a newsletter signup so people can get email notifications when I have something new up for sale and what it is (but never anything else, booo spam).

But would people rather I create a sideblog to post all original content related stuff on, as well as my usual inane thoughts, musings, chatter about my original content? Or would you prefer just a consistent tag you can blacklist if it gets to be too much talk about that content for your tastes, like kalentalkspublishing or something like that? You can just reply to this post or reblog or pop into my inbox on anon and let me know your thoughts real quick if you like, whatever works.

Either way, I’m still likely to be posting my usual randomness too, though probably not quite as much given how much more focus I have to give to that other stuff at this point. But I’m sure I’ll eventually have stuff to say about the new YJ or the new Roswell or like....I mean I’ll have to rant about Avengers 4 when it hits because like....lbr, that’s half my reason for existing but I digress.

But yeah, my usual content won’t be going away because it does serve a purpose for me at least. This might come as a TOTAL shock to some of you, but I’m actually a total extrovert? LOL. I know, weird right. But yeah, I like definitely recharge from being around and interacting with other people and don’t really LIKE being alone ever, though I can usually handle it fine.....but six + months of being a hermit cuz of my health and financial issues definitely takes a toll and this is pretty much my only form of social interaction period, hence why I’m on here so much. Like, without this connectivity such as it is, I would be.....much more not good than I am, lmao.

(LOL its why I actually hate those ‘some of you really need to go outside’ posts, b/c while no doubt it applies to some people who could benefit from more human interaction and are capable of it and just choose not to for whatever reason like.....good god its annoying when you’re like I KNOW I need to go outside more I diagnosed myself with that issue MONTHS ago thanks doc, your insight, just...staggering).

ANYWAY. So yeah. All of this *gestures vaguely in the direction of All My Random* will still be a thing, but slightly downshifted in priority from work on and talk of original content. But I definitely don’t want it to be all Buy My Stuff all day every day all the time, eww, no, boo capitalism, I’m doing this UNDER PROTEST UGH, I would hate that, so working hard to find a balance or at least an approach that makes it easier for you to selectively pick what you’re here for.

Feel free to sound off in whatever way suits you, I’m interested in thoughts. And as always, appreciate you guys so much, and also again x a million, thank you so so much for your help, support and donations and reblogs!!

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wowheadquarters · 6 years

Note

I have a little idea for the 1k followers. As I followed this blog recently, I was wondering about his history. If you feel like it, could do a summary? Like, why did you start it? Your first joy/disappointment. Any thing that we haven't see that you might want to share. Absolutely anything about the blog and you. (If you're comfortable with it of course)

This is a very good idea, lovable anon, I’ll try.

History:

It was 17th November 2015, somewhen in Tuesday afternoon. I don’t remember what exactly sparked the idea of starting this blog, but I can say for certain that it was heavily inspired by the @bleachlists (which is, if you ask me, better humor than canon Bleach). And thus the first list was born.

(I never expected this blog to get famous. Or followers besides bots for that matter. I hoped, maybe, for a little circle of, like, 5 actual readers. I certainly didn’t think I would keep this blog for longer than 4 months. That’s how it is with me usually, I have bursts of inspiration but lack long-term dedication. The fact that this blog is still going is a miracle.)

At first the lists were written in the “chat” style. I had to make up my own prompts, because the two followers or so only hearted the posts but didn’t interact with me at all otherwise. That’s why the activity was very irregular at the time, I was writing when I was inspired and thus a month could pass without a word from me and then boom, three posts in a week. Additionally, I wasn’t writing only lists, but also short stuff, kind of like “Slice of life from Azeroth.” Of these the most famous is Chromie and Dragons and in my opinion the best one and not enough appreciated one is Kel’thuzad’s Heard Of Sylvanas’ Plans.

The first breakthrough came in January 2016 when an anon, who made me happy so much that I called them “lovable” in the list and kept on doing so for all following anons, requested the very first requested list, the Care of Babies list. For a long time this has been the list with the most notes. Now there are too many lists to keep count and Tumblr doesn’t do “the best of your posts,” but still it is one of the most popular posts I have and along with the Chromie and Dragons it still pops up in my notifications. Around April 2016 I had stable enough queue of requested lists to stop making up my own prompts, thus I could completely rely on prompts from followers, most of them from anons.

Another important milestone was August of the same year: First of all, I came up with a posting schedule (Fridays and Mondays, but two months later I understood that was too fast - It ate the prompts faster than they were prompted, and I wasn’t managing it). Then Taedal was added to the lists, at first he was meant as a joke, as I keep reminding him and everyone else, and somehow it happened he stayed here. Additionally, Varian and Vol’jin’s deaths were acknowledged, putting Anduin on the list. Soon after, Garrosh joined in from beyond the veil to annoy Vol’jin in his afterlife.

About this time the blog began to create it’s own lore (and not only the L.O.R.E.), and I even had the (short-spanned) will to mystify people that Taedal is going to get his own expansion. I even had a sideblog dedicated to Taedal (in fact, it was Taedal’s own blog, intentioned as a RP blog but somehow it never…got much traffic) and even a wiki. The wiki still exists! I like to think of this as the Golden Age of HeadQuarters verse, when I even got fanfics on AO3 and a dozen of drawings for this blog even. This blog lives in an alternate universe where there is a new isle west of Pandaria and Garrosh adopted 37 dead children in the afterlife and learned to be a better person (not necessarily the same as good person, but let’s not lose hope).

I don’t remember exactly on what occasion in the 2017 the Interviews were added, but they were the first not-list which were requestable (that is, they weren’t the short filler stuff I used to make before). I think it was to celebrate the first 100 followers but I might be wrong. The first Interview was held with Taedal, by my decision, and ever since then the Interviews went by request every twenty days, moved to every other Wednesday, later as of not-so-recently, every other Tuesday. In the history of the Interviews, there happened to be only one which wasn’t published, because nobody asked any questions. (It was Interview with Kel’thuzad, pt. 3, and I jokingly said that “ when we met, the Archlich thought I used the Interview as an excuse to go out for a date with him and things went awkward” which resulted in this Top N list).

From there things went rather fast. To here actually. As a celebration for 600 followers (or was it 500? Memory fails me) I began writing Top N, sort of as of a filler in between the Interviews, so actually now this blog has moved back to the biweekly posting scheme very close to the one from 2016. Earlier this year (2018), there was a list about attack on not-Theramore, where I made up a character especially for my timeline speculations - because timeline shenanigans, it is a bronze dragon, and because it is representing me, the character is called Authormi. That is a very poor play on the word “author” (because I am the author of this blog) and the “-ormu/ormi” suffix characteristic for the Bronze dragonflight. Coincidentally, it was also the first time I have referred to myself with any sort of name here on this blog (besides the FAQ where is a link to my main blog) and I am using it since.

An important part of the blog is post maintenance when I try to at least twice a month (but if I’m very responsible, then every Friday evening) go thorough the blog, update the Interview, Top N, and L.O.R.E. pages, delete old request asks and so on. However, over the years a good number of not-request asks had piled up in here. They were…not filtered here and the blog seemed messy with them. Which is why Authormi vs. Inbox tag was created and from time to time when too many not-request asks pile here, I dump them into these post as a sort of archive. I admit that it is not, uh… ideal in case you are looking for something specific, but it keeps the blog clean. Well, cleaner.

The most recent new development of the blog was the addition of the Allied Races leaders - Alleria Windrunner for the Void Elves/Ral’dorei, High Exarch Turalyon for the Lightforged, Jaina Proudmoore for Kul Tiras, First Arcanist Thalyssra for the Nightborne Elves/Shal’dorei, Mayla Highmountain for the Highmountain Tauren Tribes, Overlord Geya’rah for the Mag’har Orcs, and Princess Talanji for the Zandalari. The choice of the leaders is taken from the information on the Allied Races from Wowpedia.

Speaking of Wowpedia, it is my primal source, besides personal experience, when it comes to writing the lists. I used to rely on WoWWiki, but, uh… that one turned a bit messy a couple of years ago and I never get around to check on it now. When I don’t know something, I look it up on Wowpedia. If it’s not on Wowpedia, I consider it a Free Real Estate lore wildcard, which means I can bullshit it out as long as it is lore/character consistent. I pride myself on giving the characters (leaders) some actual character, because, now correct me if I am wrong, Blizzard writers confuse character personality for that wind flapping pole. I am not saying that I am writing “good” or “pure” characters. They have faults, they are prejudiced, foolhardy, depressed (in not romantic ways), mean, holding grudges. Some, like Garrosh, Genn or Gallywix, are more straightforward in their flaws than others, but I am pouring a cup of sour traits to everyone here. (What I am saying here is: Be critical when you read your favorite leader’s opinion. They might not be right and/or honest.)

Overview, as of today, Monday 19th November 2018:

Published 174 lists, 24 more in the queue + bunch of requests hanging in the asks among the posts. (Somebody needs to do their maintenance)

Published 25 Interviews, 9 more in the queue + some in the asks too, I think I saw one request or two.

Published 21 Top N lists (most favoured number for N is 10), 0 in the queue.

1009 followers, woooo! I love you all. Except the 1009th one who is a porn bot, you can go fuck yourself. ‘Xcuse me. 1008 followers now!

The blog is 3 years and 2 days old. Happy birthday!

Authormi’s pick of lists to read (besides the one linked):

What they say far too often: Vintage one, so you see what the old style was like.

What do the think of the heroes: Meta one!

Their pick for a movie night: There were no guesses on what movie is a Ayeroth-verse of what Earth-verse. I am proud of some of those titles.

No Orc Invasion: The first timeline speculation, which I really lvoed. If somebody was to write that AU, I’d read it actually.

If they could erase one person from existence: Another timeline speculation. I like making those!

Draw the squad: Maybe you could draw the squad?

Watching Les Misérables: This one was an especially important journey for me, because this list is why I saw the musical in the first place. Later I read the book too (I love the book), got into some Les Mis RP, made some very good friends out of that… Yeah, I owe this one lovable anon who requested it a lot. (More or less, now I am also a professional Valjean RPer, except I don’t get paid for it. Whenever somebody who knows me joins a new RP server and they haven’t got Valjean, they usually ask me. Like… what? How? Why? Why do you all think I am a good Valjean? Why- Never mind, this is a Warcraft blog. Moving on.)

Spell of the Violent Tongue: The first time it has been brought to my attention that I think about the characters in a way a lot fo other people doesn’t, because this list surprised a lot of readers, and by surprised I mean hit into feels so hard they complained to me. I talked about it with my mum later (family support is an important thing for me and mum is fan of Warcraft), and I’ve been told that “I treat the characters maybe a bit too realistically.” PSA for everybody: Warcraft is a story about broken people and violent racism.

Their God Tier: For the people who are fan of Homestuck too. (Homestuck itself is good. The fandom is weird)

Garrosh’s 37 ghost children: By which they became more or less canon on this blog, a regular stuff which is to be counted with.

How do they insult people: The most recent popular post.

Interview with Azshara: My personally favorite thing I have ever written for this blog, as in, I don’t think I am going to peak it.

Interview with Luxien: Because I want to press Taedal’s story and “expansion” to everybody, read the interview with his older evil sister.

Top 10 favorite characters: I suppose you are a bit curious who my faves are, so here you go.

Top 10 changes to the story I would do: By heart I am a storywriter. I give such things a lot of thoughts. But as I’ve mentioned earlier, lack of dedication is… making things hard.

Other cool stuff to check out (maybe?):

Taedal’s expansion wiki, of course. I have a lot of thoughts about that world and story and… I would love to went about it a bit, too.

This very cool fanfic on AO3.

The official portrait of Taedal.

The official portrait of Authormi.

The description of this blog, as taken from my personal blog:

wowheadquarters (WoW HeadQuarters, World of Warcraft Headquarters, WoWHQ) is by far my most popular blog, despite being younger than SNTS. I add new content twice a week, on Tuesday and Friday. I never thought I’d make more than 10 posts in total, but there we go. I admit that the original idea comes from bleachlists, but it has sort of evolved since then. I am trying to keep the blog not contradicting the canon, but some things in the HeadQuartersverse might not always agree with the official lore

Final words from Authormi:

Oh my fucking god, this is really unbelieveable that this thing is still going on. I never expected this blog to live beyond a month. I never thought I’d get more than 20 followers. I have 1000 now? That’s… is that Tumblr-famous? I’ve never had this many followers. Do you all read this? All the stuff? Am I shaping your view on the Warcraft universe? This is too much power for one person to have.

You want to know what’s actually my happiest memory connected to this blog? It was actually some time back (because my memory is a mess, I can’t tell you how far back), I had a really, really stuffed couple of weeks. A lot of to do, but also mentally exhausted, I was in a bad place for a bit there. Usually I am able to kick myself in the ass, sit down and make up the list on the go, even if it is bound to be miserable wreck of text, I write it. Sometimes when I am super done and tired, I write it on Saturday evening and pretend it’s Friday and so far everyone’s been so kind and there’s been no comment to that. But in those two or three weeks I just… couldn’t. Even clinging to this self-made structure was too exhausting. I wasn’t on Tumblr for basically the whole time (my main blog was fuelled by the queue). Sometimes when I am in a good place, I write lists in advance and schedule them, but at that time no such a thing took place, so this blog went silent without announcement and I couldn’t care less. When I finally found it in me to come online, my inbox greeted me with various people who were asking me if I was okay and whether or not I am still alive written in a very worried manner. And you know… reading that helped me a lot at the moment. It was a reminder that somebody here cares for me and cares for what I do and… Yeah, it was a damn motivation to get myself together a bit and write stuff and do some stuff. Since then I’m trying to announce in advance if I think I am not going to make it, and even then I am still trying to write the list as soon as possible when I am fit to.

A story for your amusement on this “write it when possible” note. This summer I was with my 4 younger siblings (my oldest sister, still younger than I, turned 18 last Thursday, the youngest sibling who also happens to be a sister is 4, but I don’t live with all the siblings, blah blah divorced parents blah blah, not related) and dad and grandfather in the beautiful village (or town?) of Au in Austria. I took my old laptop with me (I’ve got a new one recently) which had battery that could live on it’s own for, like 10 minutes. The house we were living in had no wi-fi, but there was a village-wide public wi-fi… which din’t reach the house. The nearest was at the bus stop, but that one was shaky, and the good reliable hotspot was at the park, 10 minutes of walk away from the house. Now, it was nearly Friday and I needed to post the list. So I wrote it int he laptop’s notepad, then turned off its life support, took it and dashed across all of Au to the wi-fi hotspot, formatted the document into a list, and hit post. About 2 minutes later, the laptop died.

I am thinking about making another blog directly meant for the asks, request or not, and those would stay there. What do you all think? Maybe I would lose things there, I am quite capable of it.

I’d love to talk about Taedal and his demons and his entire story a bit more. But I haven’t got, like, a reason to do so. I am sort of insecure in this matter, I sort of have the feeling that nobody really cares for Taedal here. “What are you thinking, a ‘good demon’ OC?” (Ask me about Taedal and his faction and the Broken and Distant Worlds expansion. I have an expansion and half planned in my head.)

There is some kind of an expectation or anticipation in me to have someone from Blizz discovering this blog and some big consequences happening. I am not sure whether I want it to happen or not. I mean, I am a bit… too-critical of their work in attempt to please the crowd here. (It’s easy to search for flaws when you take the good stuff as the norm. You are actually doing a good job, Blizzard, in the terms of game developing and marketing. But there is that one post going around which says that Warcraft lore/story is written by 9 people who cannot talk to each other. In this spirit, I am sure that there are 4 people writing charcter psychological profiles who don’t know of each other’s existence. Your animation is a snack, though.)

Wow. I suck at summaries. This is as brief as it gets.

#long post #even by my standards

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