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mrarchewannabe · 3 years

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First Contact and it's Complications: Part 2 Biology Lesson

This is head researcher Bea'zikal following up from my previous reports as I stated before, I do apologize for the lack explanation and detail in those entries and I will now give you the full documentation of what I have observed with my time spent with Humanity and more specifically Human Head researcher who is referred to as Jamal Alteriq, a very fine scientific mind and excellent guide as he was the one to be our ambassador through Human space and of course to keep eyes on us. We saw many incredible things on our journey and I will explain in due time, but I thought it wise to give a basic run down on human biology to better help visualize the scenes I will explain in later logs. (Note: I advise you to open the attached encrypted files for observation while reading)

Humans are lightly Haired mammals that evolved on a rich but highly diverse Planet that was covered in approximately 71% water with humans living on the 29% of Land, resources were plentiful but competition was fierce as many species competed for control of those same resources, the resources in question being food and 'fresh' water which is a specific term as humans cannot drink water that is above or below a certain Ph. Level or a has a heavy imbalance of minerals;They also cannot drink any water that is contaminated with parasites, or Planetary elements such as dirt. This of course isn't to say humans have entirely weak stomachs as they are capable of consuming certain acids such as Malic and Citric Acid which is used in food flavoring, and of which would result in violent death should either substance be consumed by a Zeatikian, in addition to consumption of such compounds they can digest Certain forms of Alcohol and many forms of Capsaicin which many of course know isn't poisonous but considered non-edible to all Zeatikians and instead sees a use as a defense weapon. Moving on from the topic of consumable and non-consumable liquids brings us to eating habits; Humans specified as Omnivore 'Persistence' Predators, and can consume a wide variety of Meat and Plants, which a balance of both is needed to maintain peak physical form and a healthy digestive and immune system. From what Human Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq has told me ancient human hunting wasn't chasing down prey at high speeds but rather simply outlasting it in a slower walk chase(Note: Humans have a extreme amount of stamina and can walk for hours at a time as they evolved to efficiently maintain a pace of speed) and when the prey was tired and unable to continue on humans would slay the creature and bring it back to be cooked then consumed. (Note: Cooking is one of the few things that are shared in Both Zeatikians and Human evolution) Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq also informed me that eventually ancient Humanity began Agriculture and that is what primarily began to start up human culture and civilization.(Note: again one of the few things that are shared amongst our history)

Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq told me of the Human Life stages which are of a very different cycle of our own from our People the Zeatikians, conception of offspring is relatively the same between our two species, but with various degrees of success in humans as their method of reproduction is relatively different between Human to Human. Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq Suggested that's all we do to speak on the matter and I obliged his request how ever odd I thought it was.(Note: After doing research on this topic myself I also now recommend that all Zeatikian researchers stay away from this topic as well as it's very traumatizing to look at) Humans generally can only have one child every half a cycle but it can be more numerous if chance allows it, and human offspring is extremely vulnerable and must be cared for by it's parents constantly otherwise it will most likely guaranteed to perish; of course in this time human 'infants' (Note: Infants are the name for children that under a cycle and half old) are cared for by not only the parents but also other humans hired to be care takers as well that can give the infants whatever they need at anytime while the parents set off to complete tasks.

Humans possess what is called an Endoskeleton(Note: Observe attached files) which gives their bodies structure and allows an anchor for their extremely complex muscular system as well as keep internal organs safe and secure. This Endoskeleton is made up of bones of very high calcium content and is extremely durable and strong, shown being able to with stand many hits that could cripple, paralyze or downright kill a healthy Zeatikian. Infant humans start out with more numerous but weaker bones and cartilage numbering around 300 individual structures but eventually after many cycles they all fuse into their respective positions and become stronger and thicker; this is most prominent around what they call their 'Skull' which is a bone structure that contains their brain and connects to the spinal column (Note: Observe Highlighted Area) and starts out segmented and eventually becomes fully fused and one solid structure in about 22 cycles. Part of the function of the skull is a basic one hinged jaw that contains anywhere from 32 to 36 bone structures they call teeth which allows them to tear through tougher foods and aids in digestion, the human jaw is relatively weak surprisingly only able to produce 300UPSQ which would absolutely be enough to hurt a Zeatikian so I would advise you be careful.

Adolescent Human offspring undergoes a change around 9 Cycles in males and 7.5 in females, as they approach sexual maturity they begin to swell on muscle mass and increase in growth exponentially over a time period of 4 cycles, during this time hormones are pumped through and over about 1.5 to 2 cycles the voice deepens and body hair is increased, this incredible change is known to cause certain behavior changes as well as changes in diet and appetite. Many human females have certain large orifices located on their chests that are used primarily to feed their young, which should have been obvious seeing how I have already stated they are indeed mammals,(Note: I have been told to report on this much only as logging anymore would make many among the human population uncomfortable, I do not know why but I shall oblige) and as mammals they are indeed warm blooded, which means they do not take too well to fluctuating temperatures as Being in below freezing temperatures for too long can lead to a humans death in about 20 minutes should they be naked in said weather; and so if in the future you have humans boarding your vessel be sure to keep it atleast a median temperature of 400TM and provide them with necessary heating elements if they do not have any.

Humans possess a 'Circulatory system' much like our own that pumps blood all across it's body at a very steady rate of 60 to 100 beats per tick, which is quite slow compared to our 120 to 150 beats per tick. Humans also possess a blood color that shines a bright red compared to that of a Zeatikian that has a bright purple hue, both of our species have iron in our respective Hemoglobins but our kind carries what they call 'Hemerythrin' while they carry whats called 'Heme' and thus that's what gives the difference in blood pigmentation. They also possess various different organs that process everything from sugars and proteins to alcohol and carbs, the 'Liver' which is described as a 'Blood Filter' cleanses the blood as it passes through it, while organs like the 'Kidneys' process liquid waste, sugars, salts, and all minerals to help keep it stable within the body.

The Human 'Immune system' is a very strong and very important system in the human body as humans do not have segmented Carapaces like all Zeatikian's have, rather they possess a skin of 7 layers and this layered skin protects the body from the outside world, when penetrated or slashed open blood will began to flow out much like a broken carapace or cut joint segment would, the cells in the human would try to seal the cut with platelets which will form a scab, which is a temporary seal while the skin is being repaired anew; as this process does share similarities with the way our Carapace heals itself our process is much slower while the humans can heal their skin in a matter of a few rotations depending on the severity of the injury. Of course during the cut possible bacteria and other such microorganisms could have infiltrated the bloodstream and usually once successful they become targeted by the protector cells or as humans call them 'white blood cells' for destruction.

The 'Digestive track' is relatively self-explanatory so I will be brief on the subject, when food is consumed it is first chewed and made wet by the 'Saliva' a human produces in their mouth which helps break it down further and eases the transfer of food from the mouth down the 'Trachea' as they call it and into the 'Stomach' which becomes broken down by 'Stomach' acid,various compounds,and gut bacteria that absorb the nutrients and forward the waste through what humans call the 'Large Intestine' which then transfers through the 'Small intestine' which is the excreted by the Human, relatively the same processes any Zeatikian goes through.

Humans of this modern era however are nearly perfect as about 1000 cycles ago an event on their home world that was put into motion made humans as nearly perfect as they could be biologically, but this change however was not a instant process as the changes would only take place slowly after every generation, each one living longer then the last, getting sick less, and less in the population being born with genetic conditions that had debilitated humanity for eons. Nowadays it is rarer for humans to catch a sickness, but impossible for any human being to be born with a genetic condition aside from the few they found desirable. Many live long fulfilling lives from what I'm told by Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq, some living their full total lifespans of 200 cycles which I can only dream of living a mere 40 cycles let alone a long 200 cycles.

This concludes my report on the basic biology of humanity I hope you found it informative and helpful, I shall work on my next log about human economic and social status, which Human Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq Helped immensely on.

Head Researcher Bea'zikal Signing off

(I hope you enjoy the sequel to what I wrote first I'm really proud of this one but please tell me if there is anything I could do to better my writing? Constructive criticism is appreciated, more parts on the way)

#science fiction #humans are space orcs #sci fi/fantasy #sci fi #writing #aliens #scifiandfantasy

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jtrbluv · 4 years

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we’re not really strangers | pjm

summary: We’re Not Really Strangers is a purpose-driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections. Three carefully crafted levels of questions and wildcards that allow you to deepen your existing relationships and create new ones. Ready?

or alternatively,

your furtive infatuation with your lifelong best friend proves to be hard to suppress when there’s (1) alcohol involved and (2) a card game that forces you to reveal more about yourself than you could ever wish for. in short, no, you are not ready.

[friends to lovers!au]

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, crack, slight angst

word count: 8.7k

warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, two emotionally constipated best friend, PG-15

A/N: hi, i’ve been really excited about this fic for a while, and i’m genuinely so happy that i finally finished it! the card game is in fact real and i got inspired for this fic after i had played the game with a couple of friends myself. AHEM! @koushiningg ! we both cried and i do highly recommend to play it! but anyways, i hope you enjoy this fic because i had a lot of fun writing it! sending love always... jumi out!

EDIT: @bangtans-peaceful-piegon i’d also like to thank the lovely pidge for beta reading this 4 me as well! PIDGE I FUCKIN LOB U!!!

PLAYLIST ; SEQUEL

♤ ♤ ♤

Not once in your life did you ever imagine a simple card game to become the bane of your existence.

Yet Park Jimin was able to prove you wrong.

Let’s play ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’ he said. It’ll be fun, he said.

You stare down at the card in front of you—everything else in your periphery was blurry in vision and you can audibly pinpoint the erratic beating of your heart.

The card was practically taunting you, laughing in your face. It was as if there was a sentient being in the room who was aware of your own subconscious and the not so latent feelings you had for the boy sitting in front of you.

Same said being loved to constantly place you in a state of trepidation concerning your current situation—your blood pressure skyrocketing—nearly feeling the muscular pink thing inside of you thrusting itself against your ribcage.

The white card with crimson red writing made sure to leave an impact, making you feel the most ridiculed you’ve felt all night which says a lot—leaving your mind in a complete frenzy although you refused to let it be known.

And so you sat there. Fiddling the card in between your fingers, feigning nonchalance. You were very much on the brink of cracking your facade—your sanity practically crumbling as the minutes ticked by. You didn’t think you’d last this long to be honest. Yet an hour and a half proved to be way too straining on your body, especially your heart.

He simply sat there with his hands folded on the table—void of emotion, whistling a familiar top 50s tune you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You considered shifting your focuses on trying to comprehend the tune—hoping it would ease the concerning state of apprehension you were in.

But then you remember that you aren’t that pathetic. Even though you both had probably been sitting in complete silence for about two minutes now. Up to the point where you could probably hear the crickets chirping outside his apartment, except the only sound that was filling your ears was your own conscience telling you how idiotic you were being.

Your face may be gradually morphing the same shade of crimson as the writing inscribed onto the card itself, and you may have a whole line of sweat encompassing your hairline. But it’s just a stupid little card game. You could say any stupid little answer and the stupid not-so-little boy wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t care. So you shouldn’t care.

When did you become so pathetic after all?

-one hour and a half ago-

“Why can’t we just play Mario Kart or Uno? This sounds like there’s too much thinking involved,” you whine, leaning against the side of his couch.

“One, we always play that. And two, I always lose,” he grumbles, plopping down onto the floor.

Jimin rests his back on the frame of the couch as he sits in the small gap made by the large piece of furniture and the coffee table that resided in front of it. You decide to sit on the floor as well, around an arm’s length away from your friend. He places the red box down onto the table—opening the cap and revealing the contents with a mischievous glint in his irises.

Within the box was a deck of cards, separated into three piles with two pencils on either side. Knowing Jimin, you assumed this game had an ulterior motive you were unaware of, and by the title of the game, you could already tell that you weren’t going to like it very much.

“How do you even play this?” You ask, causing him to look up in return.

He bites his lip, taking a couple seconds to ponder on your question, “I don’t know it’s my first-time playing too,” he shrugs. “I was watching Jin and Namjoon playing it a couple of weeks ago and for some reason, Jungkook started crying.”

“He is a sap,” you hum in agreement, thinking in retrospect of Jungkook crying from various situations such as Iron Man dying or that one time Jin farted on his pillow and he got pink eye for a whole week.

“The biggest,” he concurs, “Hm, there’s no instructions in here.” He mutters while shuffling through the cards.

“Why don’t you just search it up?” You suggest, sliding the box to yourself as he nods and fishes his phone out of his pocket.

While holding the box in the palm of your hand, you scan the contents—turning it around in your palm until your eyes narrow in on the words printed at the bottom.

“Oh, it says something here.”

His head perks up. “Hm? What is it?”

You clear your throat at the sight of the long explanation. “We’re Not Really Strangers is a purpose-driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections. Three carefully crafted levels of questions and wildcards that allow you to deepen your existing relationships and create new ones.” You internally grimace at the words. The game hasn’t even started and you already had a bad feeling about it all. “Ready?” You say through clenched teeth, purposely keeping your head hung low.

Jimin’s lips quirk up into a cheerful grin, unaware of the piercing stare you were giving him. “Okay, I think I got it,” he declares, eyes zeroed in on his phone once more, ”There’s three levels—perception, connection, and reflection. Each level we pass, the deeper and more thought-provoking the questions get. Helping us make a deeper connection and get to know each other better yadda yadda yadda.”

You nod in understanding, sliding the box of cards back towards him—forcing the grimace that kept threatening to plaster itself onto your face into a small, smug smile.

“The first thing we have to do,” he begins, taking out two pencils and two small pieces of paper, “is write messages to each other. We won’t be able to open these until after we leave.” He explains, sliding a pencil and paper towards you.

“Wow, very cryptic,” you tut, biting down on your bottom lip before more distasteful remarks decided to leave your lips. He doesn’t catch your reaction or your comment though because he’s already got his pencil in his hand, scribbling vigorously onto the tiny piece of paper. Knowing him it could very well be nonsensical insults and doodles, or a whole essay about your friendship and what you mean to him. Most likely ludicrous and full of thought, either way, just like him.

Without much thought, you lazily jot onto the paper.

know that i love u, u fucker <3

-y/n

The sound of your pencil falling against the table causes him to look up at you, eyes knit together in confusion.

“You’re done already?”

You chuckle, “I mean, I wasn’t going to write an essay. You already know how I feel about you. But it seems like you’re writing one though.”

His eyes narrow in on you—giving you an indiscernible look before letting out a small ‘hmph’ and lowering his focus back down to his pencil and paper. You dismiss his enigmatic behavior—deciding to mindlessly scroll on your phone while waiting for him to finish his MLA formatted essay.

Two minutes pass and you hear the sound of his pencil being placed onto the table. “Done.”

“You added citations too right?”

He scoffs, “No, but i’ll gladly add some if you’d like.”

You roll your eyes for what seems like the umpteenth time in the last five minutes, “Just start the goddamn game.”

He takes the first stack of cards and shuffles them between his hands. “In all three levels, there are wild cards or basically dares we have to complete. And for each level, we get two ‘dig deeper’ cards. Pretty self-explanatory. So this is the perception level. It’s basically designed for first encounters and strangers, and we’re gonna be asking each other questions about ourselves.”

Your eyes widen at the whole confidentiality of it all. “Are we going through all of those cards?” You blurt out, staring at what seemed to be like 50 cards in his hands.

“Oh no,” he quickly refutes, “It would take hours. We’ll just do like 12 cards each.”

“Alright,” you huff, letting out a small breath of relief.

“Yay! Okay I’ll go first,” he beams, his toothy smile evident as he places the deck in between the two of you while grabbing a card from the top, “What do you think my name is?”

You snort at the conspicuousness of the question, “Jamal.”

He immediately guffaws at your response, throwing his head back in addition. “Hey, I don’t mind that.”

“Are all of the questions like this?” You say in between hushed laughter.

“Nah,” he shakes his head as you pick up another card from the deck, “now you ask me.”

“Alright, what’s the first thing you noticed about me?” You ask, slightly taken aback by the sudden earnestness of the question, causing you to become genuinely curious about what his answer was going to be.

He hums, taking a second to think it through. “I think your smile and your laugh. It’s always been really contagious since the day I met you.” He admits, almost matter-of-factly as if it was something you should’ve known by now, yet you did not.

Your heart nearly disintegrates into a puddle of goop right then and there, but you manage to conceal your reaction, “Aw, you actually like me.” You tease.

He scoffs with a playful grin on his lips. “Don’t flatter yourself. You still cackle like a damn hyena.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “At least I don’t laugh at every single of Jin’s lame ass jokes.”

He gasps, jaw slack open due to your all too accurate truthbomb, “I did not ask to be attacked in my own residence.”

“Well, what are you gonna do about it then.”

He snorts. “Holy shit, do you remember when I banged my head on the corner of his coffee table.”

“How could I forget? I had the picture of the bump on your head as my lockscreen for like a month.” You reminisce, resisting the urge to pull up the picture from your phone.

“Yeah, and that same month I bought and rotated between the same 10 hats.”

“Hey! It genuinely didn’t look as bad as you thought.”

He whips his head towards you, giving you a piercing glare that made you want to redact your statement immediately.

He grins from ear to ear, the little shit, amused at the reaction he was able to garner from you.

“Aha!” He suddenly guffaws, shooting out of the floor and prancing towards his fridge. He then takes out three bottles of lychee-flavored soju and makes his way back towards the table.

Jimin being the borderline alcoholic he is, it doesn’t come as a surprise to you. Not even after he takes another trip back to the fridge to grab yet another three bottles of soju, mango-flavored to be exact. He has probably one of the stupidest grins etched onto his face as he held onto the bottles—meanwhile you were more concerned about the possibility of having to clean up a bunch of broken glass and wasted soju. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time.

“And do you plan on drinking all of this by yourself?” you say, gesturing towards the bottles.

“I know my liver is strong, but I don’t buy this shit just to enjoy alone,” he retorts. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you shake your head as you click your tongue, “Playing this while tipsy just sounds ten times better don’t you think?.”

You shrug—although you had a strong hunch for what he was insinuating, “I mean I guess.”

He starts to pour soju into his shot glass, stopping just before it hits the brim. He slides the glass to you and you take it into your hand, eyeing the sparkling fluid and thinking about the way the contents would do its little all-too-familiar dance on your tongue.

“Well, you know what they say,” he says, pouring a glass for himself, “drunk words are sober thoughts,” he finishes while dragging out the last word—downing the first shot in one quick swig. You follow his lead soon thereafter, refusing to let your mind linger on what he had just said and the viable likelihood of you spewing out the words that could just make or break your longstanding friendship and lead to a lifetime of regret.

Obviously, everything’s going fine and dandy for you.

The next 20 minutes consisted of a plethora of superficial questions that would vary from:

“What's your favorite song lyric you can think of off the top of your head?”

Your head shoots up as if the lightbulb in your head just flashed on. “Easy. Shawty’s like a melody in my head that i cant keep out got me singing like-“

He lunges over to clap a hand over your mouth before you could sing the next line. “Na na na na no Y/N. Please stop.”

Or something along the lines of:

“What character do you think I'd play in a movie?” He asks with a smug smile.

“You’d be the second male lead that everyone secretly wants to end up with the main character because you act all sweet and kind and and genuinely cares about her but instead she chooses the other guy because something about him draws her in and it was her ‘gut instinct’ or some shit like that.”

“So I would get second male lead syndrome?” He reiterates.

“Yes.”

He sets his shot glass back down with a glower, clearly taken aback. “That is the biggest insult I’ve ever gotten in my entire life.”

You also couldn’t forget about:

“Oh, this one says to create a secret handshake.”

“No.” You deadpan.

“And why not?”

“Your pinky‘s the size of a vienna sausa—“

He smacks you square in the cheek with a pillow before you could finish your sentence. You don’t even fight back because your mind was so slow to process what he had just done. The fact that you only slept for 5 hours last night didn’t help whatsoever. Your evident lack of energy causes him to jab his finger into your side, causing a loud shriek—your fight or flight response starts kicking in as you grab the back of his neck and slam his face against the fabric of the couch cushion.

Soju was never able to make the two of you full on drunk—buzzed of course, but not enough for complete incoherency. And so you both down a bottle each before finishing the first round.

“I’m surprised we didn’t get any wild cards that round,” he says while resting his head on the couch.

You purse your lips, “You spoke too soon.”

His eyes flash open as he cranes his neck in an attempt to see the card. “Wait actually?”

You can feel your insides churn as you read the words in front of you, and you were sure that it wasn’t the alcohol talking. “Write down the three most important things to you in a relationship for 30 seconds and then compare.”

Jimin reaches over to grab two pieces of paper and pencils while unlocking his phone to find the timer app, “Okay, I’ll put a timer on for 30 seconds starting… now.”

And so the internal monologue in your head begins.

Three most important things… only three? That’s not anywhere near enough to suffice. Wait, what would the first one even be… oh yeah, trust. Trust is very much important yes, yes, yes. What else? Um, communication? Yes of course, that’s essential. Okay, what would the last one be?

You sneak a glance over at Jimin. His cheek is squished against the palm of his hand, making his cheek fat (an area in which he lacked in) more prominent and the pink, plush flesh of his lips appear even bigger than they already were.

The ceiling light emitted a faint, ambient glow—the lights and shadows hitting all the slopes and curves of his face. You never understood how someone could be so effortlessly stunning. Even the mess atop his head that’s supposed to be his hair looks purposely tousled—the ebony strands sticking up in multiple directions was framing his temples and contrasted with the honey-like hues of his skin.

Unlike the glow that radiated from the lights of the worn-down apartment and the radiance of whatever was beyond the glass of the window behind him, everything about him seemed to glow much brighter.

“Hello, earth to Y/N, your 30 seconds is up.” He interrupts pointedly, waving a hand in front of your face.

Blinking rapidly, you shake your head as well as all preceding thoughts that definitely weren’t consuming your mind a few seconds ago, “Sorry w-what?”

He laughs at your disoriented state, “Did you finish writing your three things?”

No, I wrote your name as number 3. “Yeah, I did. You can go first though.”

He nods with a small smile. “Oh, okay then let’s see. First, I put trust. I don’t know, I think everyone puts that to be honest. After that, I put communication. I feel like that’s just a given y’know. Another thing I feel like most people would say.”

You utter a timid “mhm” under your breath albeit zoning out and being unaware of what he was saying. Opportunely, you managed to scribble out his name with the mere seconds that had passed and now you were tapping the lead point of the pencil against the paper, littering the page with a bunch of grey, little dots—incognizant to the fact that he had his eyes focused on you the whole time.

“I didn’t really know what to put last. Three things isn’t anywhere near enough in my opinion. But at the last second, I wrote down vulnerability,” he continues.

You look up upon hearing the last word. “Oh wow, that’s good. I didn’t even think about that.”

He chuckles unabashedly, clearly pleased with your reaction. “Right? I just figured. At first, I thought it would go in the same category as trust but then I thought about it more. Yeah, you can trust someone and someone can trust you, but to what extent does that all go to. Where does it start? And where does it even end? You need to be able to open up to the person I feel like. So I guess trust and vulnerability go hand in hand.”

Impressed with his words, you decide to chime in. “Wouldn’t communication go along with it too?”

“Hm?”

You place your pencil down. “You would open up to each other by means of communication, becoming more vulnerable, and then overall gaining more trust in the end.”

His brows raise at your sudden revelation, “Wait, you’re so right, did you just wax poetic and full cycle all that?.”

You smile, “I mean I guess,” you respond humbly, “ it does make sense though, does it not?”

He hums in agreement while downing another shot, “It applies to us, right?”

You force out a chuckle, but it comes out a lot more faux-sounding than you would’ve liked. “Haha, yeah I guess it does, doesn’t it.” Once again, starting to dive deeper into the abyss of pitiful hope and unrequitedness.

“Describe your perfect day.” He suddenly interjects.

You quirk a brow. “Didn’t I just go?”

“It’s okay, I’ll go for this one too.”

“Alright,” you say, foot tapping on the wooden floor as you look past him and out into the glass window of his living room, “well, I wouldn’t have school of course. And I think it would all depend on how I feel that day. If I was feeling particularly lazy, the day would probably consist of me binge-watching shows in bed while eating a shitton of carbs. And the other case would probably be galavanting around the city or going to an amusement park with friends.”

Jimin listens intently and smiles as you speak, causing you to avoid his stare before pigment threatened to rush to your cheeks, “Both of those scenarios sound really nice. I better be included too.”

You roll your eyes, turning away to hide the grin creeping up your cheeks, “We’ll see.”

He groans, standing up from his spot on the floor and falling onto his couch instead, “My asscheeks hurt.”

Your face contorts into a look of disgust, “And you want me to do what with that information?”

Scoffing lightly, he leans back into the cushions and tilts his head back, “It was a declaration, not a cry for help.”

“Yeah, and it’s the bony ass for me.”

His head perks up. “It’s having a flatter ass than their guy best friend for me.”

Gulping down the sad but unequivocal truth, “It’s kissing up to every teacher’s ass for me.”

His eyes narrow in pure chagrin, “It’s the crying on your teacher’s doorstep for them to round your grade for me.”

“It’s splitting your pants on orientation day for me.”

“Fuck you, people would pay to see this ass! It’s getting a concussion from falling down the main hall stairs for me.”

“For fuck’s sake, I told you that they waxed the floors that day!” You snap back.

“Okay, and who said it was a good idea to walk down three flights of stairs while trying to cram for a midterm? Yeah, exactly no one.” He says incisively, giving you an even bigger urge to push him off of the couch, yet you digress.

“This could go on for hours.” You heave out.

“Is that the sound of someone giving up I’m hearing?”

“Is that the sound of a midget I’m hearing?”

“But I’m taller than you?!” He screeches petulantly, smacking your shoulder. You burst out into a fit of laughter—toppling onto the wooden floor with pure malice.

Gasping for air, you attempt to stifle your laughter and regain your breath. “Wow, I’m on a roll today! I deserve another shot.”

He shakes his head, his anger quelling at the sight of your giddiness. “Remind me to not let you drink and play this game.”

You turn over from your side to lay on your back. “This will be the first and the last time I play this game with you.” You say almost immediately—the words involuntarily slipping from your mouth before you could stop it.

He sinks in his spot on the couch, brows knitting at your comment. “Why?”

Sobriety crashes into you like a colossal wave —your irritation dissipates almost immediately. The exaggerated tone your voice begins to register through your head—as well as the fact that you sounded a lot more disapproving than you intended.

Groaning at your hindered ability to think and process properly, you attempt to clear the air, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. We just... practically know everything about each other I guess. What else is there to know?”

He hums. “You sure about that?”

What? “Wait what?”

“Nothing,” he chuckles awkwardly, “next question.”

The straightforwardness of the next question causes you to quirk a brow, “How are you, really?”

His eyes widen. “Well, that’s a deep one, isn’t it?”

You smile. “A little.”

He sighs, a small grin lacing his features, “Hm, how am I,” he affirms, adjusting himself in his spot on the couch, “I feel content with where I am right now, I guess. Things can always be better, but at the same time they could be worse too.”

Your number one defense mechanism as of late has been to constantly tease and make jokes at the poor guy—essentially using him as your own mental punching bag. He went along with it out of the assumption that it was all caused by your stress from school while you knew the true origins of your behavior.

You smile at his optimism, "Hey, that's always good to hear."

He chuckles, shifting his position on the couch so he could face you directly, "I don't know, maybe it's the new sense of freedom. Or all the amazing people I've gotten to meet and the opportunities that are offered here. Or the fact that I'm still going to the same school as my best friend after all this damn time."

"Chim, don't get sappy on me man." You warn him while pouting exaggeratedly— slumping onto the frame of the couch while he takes a strand of your hair in between his fingers. You bask in the moment, your eyes shutting close.

"Hey, I'm just being honest! For some reason, it all makes up for the impending student debt and draining lectures and professors that have a superiority complex as fat as their paycheck."

"Too bad their paycheck still isn't as fat as your ass."

An audible gasp coming from the only other person in the room causes your eyes to flutter open.

"Aw," he coos, ruffling the hair atop of your head, "that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me all night. Admit it, you love me."

Out of instinct, you opt to stick your tongue at him instead of replying with a witty comeback. You turn away from him before mumbling to yourself, "More than you'll ever know buddy."

"What was that?"

Shit. "Nothing. Next question!"

After twenty questions and a whopping 10 empty soju bottles later, you are quite literally about to implode.

Your eyes stare down at the card in front of you—everything that surrounds it is blurry in vision and you can audibly pinpoint the erratic beating of your heart.

The card was practically taunting you, laughing in your face. It was as if there was a sentient being in the universe who was aware of your own subconscious and the not so latent feelings you had for the boy sitting in front of you. Same said being loved to constantly place you in a state of trepidation concerning your current situation—your blood pressure skyrocketing—nearly feeling the muscular pink thing inside of you thrusting itself against your ribcage.

The imminent headache was starting to spread towards your temples and you practically felt like you could feel your brain shifting inside your head at this point. Although you felt groggy, you were certain that your heart was at a rate that is way faster than it should be. And sitting on your legs has caused them to lose all feeling from the tips of your toes all the way up to your kneecaps. One attempt at standing and you would come crashing to the floor in a heartbeat.

To say you were mad was an understatement. Out of all the times throughout the entirety of this hour and a half that you were playing this game, he decided that now would be the best time to use his 'dig deeper' card.

There it was.

Admit something.

"Okay fine, I was the one who stuck pink hair dye in your shampoo last semester."

"Y/N, did you really think I didn't know? C’mon I know there’s something else in there.”

You scowl, brows furrowing, “Why would I keep something from you?”

“Why are you getting so defensive over this?”

"What the hell is there for me to admit to you?" You snap back in exasperation, the harsh tone of your voice rendering the two of you speechless.

He averts his gaze, closing his eyes while inhaling a deep sigh. "Ever since we started college, why have you been treating me so differently?"

Your eyes widen in disbelief, stumped. Yet you refuse to wither out of this.

"I– are you mad?"

"No. Of course not," he quickly digresses, softening his gaze, "I just noticed after all this time that you've only been acting differently towards me. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong Jimin. You never have."

His eyes narrow, giving you yet another indecipherable look, "I'm using my 'dig deeper' card." He deadpans.

And so you sat there. Fiddling the card in between your fingers, feigning nonchalance. You were very much on the brink of cracking your facade—your sanity practically crumbling as the minutes ticked by. You didn’t think you’d last this long, to be honest. Yet an hour and a half proved to be way too straining on you in a variety of different ways.

He simply sat there with his hands folded on the table—void of emotion, whistling a familiar top 50s tune you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

You considered shifting your focuses on trying to comprehend the tune—hoping it would ease the concerning state of apprehension you were in. But then you assured yourself that you haven't reached that level of patheticism yet.

Even though you both had probably been sitting in complete silence for about two minutes now —practically anyone else could detect was the crickets chirping outside his apartment, yet the only sound that was filling your eardrums was your own conscience telling you how idiotic you were being.

This was it. There was no point in trying to weasel yourself out of this situation. If you tried, your more than futile attempt could very well end up causing more problems than if you were to go with the latter.

So instead of constantly wracking your brain with witty banter and deceitful ways to gaslight your feelings for the man sitting in front of you, you come to terms with the fact that your time had run out. You internally commend yourself for putting up a good fight, as well as internally become accosted at how immature you were at handling the whole situation.

You sharply inhale through your nose, peering at the man sitting in front of you as his eyes meet your own, "Alright."

He offers you a small yet empathetic smile in return, giving you the tiniest sliver of reassurance. His hand pats the couch cushion next to him, motioning for you to sit down next to him.

You push yourself up from the floor, immediately propping a leg onto the couch to avoid your numb limbs to be the cause of your embarrassment.

You inhale slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. "This is going to sound really absurd. Like more than absurd. Possibly borderline hysterical." No Y/N, why would you say that?

He interjects, placing a hand on your forearm. "I'm beginning to think you're becoming borderline hysterical," he lets out a small chuckle, "slow down Y/N. One thought at a time."

Your jaw is still slack open due to your previous rambling. "I'm sorry, I just—I don't think I've ever felt this anxious… around you at least."

He bites his lip, eyes trailing away from yours as he tries to think of a way to aid you, "Will it help if I turn around?

"Maybe." You reply timidly, smiling to yourself as his back came into view.

“It’ll be pretty funny if we don’t remember this in the morning,” you start off with, “I shouldn’t be saying that either I’m sorry. Stupid alcohol.”

He snickers at your drunken state, it was adorable. “Pretend I’m not here Y/N. Like you’re talking to a wall.” He advises, back still turned.

You nod although he can’t see you. “Okay. Well, hi Mr. Wall. I’ve been keeping a secret from my best friend for as long as I’ve known him and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve suppressed it all this time in hopes that it would eventually fade away, and it almost did. No really, it actually almost did. But now it’s back again and all the same feelings came, but like freaking twofold. No, tenfold. No, like a hundred fucking fold.”

Jimin tries excruciatingly hard to stifle his laughter, cupping a hand to his mouth so he wouldn’t move and distract you.

“I’m literally in love with my freaking best friend when I know he doesn’t see me in that light nor will he ever. If he did, we wouldn’t be where we are right now because I am so shitty at hiding my feelings that I am more than certain that I’ve let the truth slip a couple of times.” You say all in one breath.

He slowly detaches his hand from his mouth, eyebrows raising in disbelief in the words you had just said. His body urges him to turn around. Yet you continue to think out loud. So he digresses.

“Towards the end of high school, I think my feelings started to become more dormant because I had become more concerned over finishing high school and transitioning into college. I was content and I convinced myself that my feelings were fleeting for once.” You begin with, allowing whatever thoughts that you consumed your mind to spill all out for Mr. Wall to hear.

You sigh, taking a pillow from his couch and squeezing onto it for dear life. “That was until we ended up getting into our top picks and going to the same school. I couldn’t believe it. My stupid head tried to convince me that life had always just paired the two of us up together for some reason. And that maybe, just maybe I had a chance. But whatever I guess. I don’t know.”

A notification causes your eyes to trail to your phone. Really, Professor La, this is not a good time to tell me to finish my research paper. You swipe at the notification, revealing your lock screen—a photo of you and Jimin at an amusement park back at your hometown, sporting matching university hoodies with bright smiles on your faces that were captured mid-laughter.

Setting your phone down, you lean into the couch—letting your head fall into the cushions as your eyelids slowly start to droop shut. “What also didn’t help is how college life just seems to suit him perfectly. He just always looks so happy now. Like yeah, he’s always been a social butterfly. Yet in addition to that he has top notch grades. He charms professors. For fuck’s sake the Dean treats him like a son. His passion, his laughter, his love, his happiness. It’s always been so infectious. But college just made the effect he has on people grow even stronger. I-,” you stammer, pausing breathlessly, “it just looks like he truly belongs here. Like college was just made for him.”

He sits there in a complete stupor—still trying to process all the words that he had just heard. His body is itching to turn around, take you into his arms, whisper soft nothings into your ear. Anythings. Everything. He never wanted you to feel anxious about his feelings for you ever again.

“Mr. Wall, that was a lot, I’m sorry. But I’m really… really tired.” You utter quietly, a long yawn escaping your lips. You fall asleep.

Ten seconds pass until Jimin sneaks a glance over his shoulder, scanning your body as he notices your shut eyes and timid grip on his pillow.

“Y/N?”

You’re unresponsive.

He grins at the sight. Getting up from his seat, he makes his way toward you—slowly prying the pillow from your grasp as you carefully slides his hands under your body and picks you up from the couch.

Instinctively, you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face into his shoulder as he carries you to his bedroom. You are very much still asleep, yet you always had the habit of needing something to hold onto while you were unconscious.

Kicking the sheets aside, he makes room for you to lie down as he gently places you onto his bed. He quickly scurries to the other side, slipping into the covers himself as he lays down beside you.

The sudden contact causes you to shift in your sleep—suddenly wrapping an arm around his torso. He lays there, completely stunned at your actions and begins to heavily debate whether he should give into his desires or not.

The internal conflict lasts about two seconds before he turns to his side—placing his free hand on the small of your back and pulling you into his chest, leaving a small pocket of space in between your two bodies.

Unknowingly, you close the gap almost immediately—nestling your head into the crook of his neck as your arm that was lazily slung over his torso starts to tighten its hold around his body.

His arm slings over your unconscious form, his hands making his way to your back as he basks in the foreign feeling, being this close in proximity to you. It was different. Yet it almost felt like it was where he belonged. And he was scared because he didn’t want it to end.

While gently placing his chin on the top of your head, he begins to stroke your hair as fatigue starts to wash over him as well. “Things will make sense soon Y/N, I swear.”

He retracts, craning his neck in an attempt to see your sleeping form. His attempt proves to be futile when an indecipherable groan leaves your lips—brows knitting slightly and lips curling downward from the sudden lack of warmth.

His soft laughter fills the room as he obliges—carefully pressing a small kiss to your forehead before reverting back to his original position.

“For now, just know that I love you too.”

The intolerable throbbing sensation in your temples caused you to stir in your sleep.

The only events you could recall from last night was being at Jimin’s apartment, playing that stupid card game, and downing the most soju you’ve ever had in one sitting.

It only occurs to you that you’re wrapped in someone’s arms when you open your eyes and the only thing in your periphery is a firm chest, steadily heaving each time they take a breath.

Your legs were messily entangled with theirs—arms slung around each other’s torsos as you felt a strange yet dense weight on the top of your head.

Carefully, you try to pry yourself from their grasp albeit your haphazard state of mind. You pull back ever so slightly, making sure not to wake them up in the process, discovering that the excess weight was actually their chin that had been resting on top of your head. Their fingers were still twined in your hair as you pulled back, making you freeze in your spot. Curious, you tilt your head, peering upwards and catching a glimpse of their face.

The boy is undoubtedly still asleep. Eyes shut and ample lips slightly parted. Your timid movement, to your luck, which hadn’t phased him in the slightest, as he was unperceptive and nearly immobile at this point.

If it weren't for your abhorrent headache and the even more abhorrent symptoms that had rooted from your hangover, it would be an understatement to say that you would be freaking out right about now. In reality,

You'd be in a complete state of manic.

Because of the fact that your body was paying for the despicable amount of alcohol you had decided to consume the night before, an influx of any intense emotion would cause your body to exacerbate itself even more. And the last thing you needed was to puke all over the poor guy after sleeping together for the first time.

While you were physically experiencing withdrawals, your mind felt slightly inebriated nonetheless. You weren't quite sure if it was from last night's affluence of liquor or the way everything's starting to come back to you. And the longer your eyes linger on the boy's face, the clearer everything starts to become. From the foolish banter to your childish outbursts leading up to your intoxicated yet conscientious confession.

You left your heart all out for him to witness last night, and now the only thing you could do is wait for a response.

Taking a deep sigh, you retreat back to his body—deciding not to ponder any longer on the matter and wait until you had felt physically capable of doing so.

Steaming hot streams of water splash against his back. He stands under the shower head while massaging soap into his hair, replaying the events that had happened last night on loop.

The words that left your mouth were engraved into his mind as they involuntarily kept replaying over and over again—particularly your inebriated confession, which kept garnering the same reaction of both hope and frustration within him.

The solution should be simple. In reality it is, yet he still felt so internally scattered.

“—he doesn’t see me in that light nor will he ever...”

That was the singular line that he just couldn’t wrap his head around. There was never a moment where he would hesitate to drop everything he was doing to be there for you and make sure you were okay.

Yes, he knew that you two were best friends and that it was natural. But what best friend drives across town at 2am because you had the stomach flu and your parents were out of town. Keep in mind it was his mom’s birthday that day.

What best friend ditches their prom date when yours had stood you up. Or coax the drama teacher into giving you the lead in the school play because he saw the ways your eyes glimmered when you saw the words ‘High School Musical’. And damn, weren’t you justthe greatest Gabriella he’s ever seen.

Little did you know that in reality, he always wanted you to be the Gabriella to his Troy, and not Chad. Yet you seemed to have believed the latter all along.

But in the end, what the hell kind of best friend remains oblivious to the fact that for years, past exes have consistently broken up with him for the same reason.

“Your heart belongs to someone else.”

Or alternatively,

“I’m not the right person for you.”

Straight A’s don’t mean shit when no teacher has ever taught him how to realize that he was irrevocably in love with his best friend, and that she had always, almost candidly, felt the same way.

He shuts his eyes tightly, hands aggressively running through his soaked hair as he comes to a conclusion.

Being strangers could never be an option. Being friends, or moreso, best friends was fine. But that’s it. It was just fine. It was normalcy. It has been for years.

And that just wasn’t going to cut it for him anymore.

Your arm traces along the fabric of the bedsheets, alerting you that there was a void of space and lack of warmth from the other side of the bed. Your eyes spring open to see that there was no one laying beside you.

A long yawn escapes your lips as you stretch your limbs, body sprawling all over the bed before selfishly tugging the sheets all to yourself.

Soft hissing from which you assume was coming from his shower was confirmed to be true when your eyes spot the closed bathroom door and the small beam of light that was emitting from it.

A small, folded piece of paper that was taking up the space of where his head was resting was where your eyes shift to next.

y/n <3

You knit your brows together, knowing that it was most likely put there strategically rather than a piece of trash that had slipped out of his pocket.

It was addressed to you after all and so you grab it while making a futile attempt to rub the sleep out of your eyes. Your throbbing headache and churning insides had significantly died down. Regardless of your recovery time you internally make a promise to yourself to never get this wasted ever again. The chances of you sticking to it? Highly debatable considering the current situation you’re in.

Blinking rapidly, you finally are able to decipher whatever is written onto the paper. And it says:

hi y/n, i can already tell by the looks that you’re giving me that you already despise this game and im sorry. all i wanna say is that by the time you read this, i hope that we remain close as ever even though what i plan on saying tonight could obliterate all of that. i wanted to play this game bc i know we’re both hiding stuff from each other and it’s about time we get it out. at least for me. whatever happens, i love you. always will.

- chim :)

EDIT: for fuck’s sake y/n i’m FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO I WAS SUPPOSED TO CONFESS TO U FIRST LOSER NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND T-T

“Finally awake?” You hear a familiar voice call out. He walks out of the bathroom, fully clothed (to your dismay) while drying his hair with a towel, eyes immediately softening as they connect with yours.

You swallow down your nerves, “Yeah, I’ve been.”

He walks over to the edge of the bed, eyes shifting to the piece of paper in your hand before reverting his focus back to your face, “What are you reading there?”

“I don’t know,” you huff, feigning ignorance, “why don’t you tell me.”

A soft chortle leaves his lips as he throws the towel to the side, smiling as wide as ever as he jumps onto the vacant spot on his bed right next to you.

Propping himself up, he sits against the headboard, letting out a content sigh before looking down at you once more. “Come here.” He says, reaching his arms out in hopes that you’d fill the idle gap.

And you do, shaking the sheets off of your body as you place yourself in his arms, freshly revelling in the comfort. You wrap your arms snugly around his waist, letting your head rest on his chest while he clutches onto you tightly.

“I’m sorry for pushing the subject so hard onto you last night.” He starts off with, “I guess I just never fathomed the fact that you could return the feeling, and I was too stubborn to even admit it to you in the first place.” He expresses while stroking your back, “I didn’t mean to confront you so harshly, it’s unlike me, and I’m really sorry about it Y/N.”

“Do you think I’m mad about that Jimin?” You inquire, just barely above a whisper.

He pulls back slightly, peering down at you, “Are you?”

“Of course not. I should be the one apologizing anyways for being even more stubborn and resorting to such childish ways.” You disclose whilst mentally beating yourself up.

“Hey, there’s no use in beating ourselves up over it. Look where we are now.”

“Where exactly are we Jimin?” You inquire timidly, head still resting on his chest.

His fingers brush over the base of your chin, gently tilting your head up until your eyes found his.

“Y/N, it’s honestly hard for me to formulate the words but all I know is that I think I’m in love with you. And I think I have been for a long time, no scratch that, I have been for a long time,” he says all in one breath, making you smile at how high-strung he was acting.

The grin remains plastered onto your face, “I’m not drunk still right because did I just hear you say that you’ve been in love with me?”

“Y/N…” he whines, jutting out his bottom lip as he drags out the last syllable of your name.

You can’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Go on please.”

He bites his lip, “I honestly had a whole speech prepared in the shower but I forgot all of it.”

“It’s alright, I barely remember half the stuff I spewed out last night,” you chortle.

He chuckles, “Well, if you were wondering, you’re cute as fuck when you’re piss drunk.”

The compliment makes your breath hitch in your throat—your heart starting to pick up speed dangerously quick.

A few seconds pass, allowing you to slightly gain back some of your composure, “Why did you um– I mean– when do you think you fell in love with me?” You stutter.

“I was actually trying to figure that out too,” he starts, “in the shower. Well, this is going to sound dumb,” he admits, sharply exhaling out of his nose, “But do you remember when we went on a field trip to that amusement park in 8th grade? Around halloween time.”

“I think so… but what about it?”

He nods. “I still remember that night so vividly for some reason,” he pauses, collecting his thoughts, “There were haunted houses all over the park. And they were all different themes. And I think the first one we went into together was—”

“The clown one.” You deadpan.

“Yeah!” He beams, laughing at the way you shudder after your words, “Anyways, you were walking behind me with your hands on my shoulders, but you had a razor grip and I thought my arms were going to fall off, so I made you walk next to me instead. We had our arms interlocked and you were gripping onto me so closely and you had your head buried in my shoulder the whole time.” He explains, the smile never ceasing to leave his lips.

You don’t take his eyes off of him—smiling sweetly as he explains the retrospective moment that you never knew had held so much significance to him.

“All of a sudden, you grabbed my hand, and honestly, I think that was the scariest part of the whole experience,” he admits, chuckling softly.

“But then I intertwined fingers with you. And I liked it. Thinking about it now, I probably loved it. It felt almost borderline euphoric. Like as if I was riding a high, and when we detached hands, it felt like there was just something missing. And I guess I never really put the pieces together because it just became a normal thing after that. And when our skinship kept evolving from there, I just kept dismissing it over and over again. Like as if that feeling was a normal thing to happen between friends, because I genuinely thought it was. Yeah, I think that’s the moment I pretty much fell in love with you.” He finishes, giving you a close-mouthed smile while he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Astounded was an understatement. You couldn’t believe that you both had been suppressing these feelings for so long. Yet somehow, this whole confession didn’t seem out of place or time, it was as if everything that had happened beforehand had led up to this very moment.

“Wow, Jimin I– I don’t know what to say.” You reply.

He shakes his head. “You don’t have to say anything Y/N. I’m sorry for making you wait for so long, after all.”

You interject, “Please don’t say sorry, I think we were definitely both in the wrong here.”

He smiles, except this time his eyes crinkle up all the way, “Alright, but can you at least let me make it up to you?”

“I’m listening.” You jokingly reply.

“Let’s go on a date,” he declares brazenly, “but tonight, after we’ve recovered from our hangovers and what not.”

The corners of your lips upturn so high that your cheekbones sting, “Jimin, I’d love to–”

“Ah, wait! I’m not done.” He cuts you off, head inching forward, leaning in so close that you could feel his breath tickle your ear and the heat rushing up to your cheeks.

“And at the very end of the night, I’ll make certain that you won’t be able to walk normally by tomorrow.” He whispers into your ear— voice low and full of lust.

Shivers run through your body as it feels like all the wind had just gotten knocked out of you. Yeah, this was definitely worth the wait.

MASTERLIST ; SEQUEL

646 notes · View notes

plus-size-reader · 4 years

Text

Lockdown

Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x Martinez!Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1243 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Getting stuck in lockdown with Oscar and the others, and really getting to know him, for the first time in your lives.

——————————————————————————————————

The neighborhood going into lockdown wasn’t rare.

With so many gangs so close together, it wasn’t surprising that they would need to keep people off the streets from time to time.

However, that didn’t make them any less annoying.

You had been taking a shower in the bathroom when you heard the sirens. It was probably the worst time to have this happen, considering everyone else was out and about but you didn’t care.

If you had to be locked in, you would rather be alone.

You hummed along to the music filling the small bathroom as you finished up and turned the water off. Being in for the night could be nice, you could watch a movie and make popcorn. You rarely got the house to yourself with so many other people living here.

However, that whole plan came crashing down when you opened the bathroom door to find the entire kitchen table surrounded.

Suddenly, coming out of the bathroom in only a towel didn’t seem like such a good idea.

“Oh god, hermana-cover it up” Ruby groaned, immediately covering his eyes with his hands, ignoring the stares of both Jamal and Jasmine, who was feeling your vibe.

...You two could be real good friends.

You had no idea what they were doing here, but you should have been happy they weren’t out on the street right now. At least you knew they were safe.

“Sorry! I didn’t know you were here” you gasped, pulling the towel closer to your frame, trying to make sure that you were completely covered.

If you’d have known, you would have gotten dressed before coming out.

Obviously.

“Just go!”

So, rather than stand there and embarrass yourself further, you turned toward your room, leaving the group of kids to their games.

Clearly you should have checked every crevice of the house though because by the time you made it to the living room, you ran into Spooky, who really shouldn’t have been here.

...Was the whole neighborhood here right now?

“Oh Dios Mio!” you allowed, holding the towel to your chest tighter and tighter by the second. It was bad enough that you’d been like this in front of your brother and his friends, but now Spooky was here too.

It was too much.

“Calm down mamita, damn” Oscar grinned, not even hiding the fact that his eyes had been slipping down to your frame this entire time.

You couldn’t believe that he was acting this way. You two had hardly talked since Cesar and Ruby had become friends but now he was sitting on your couch.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Cesar?” you wondered, you hadn’t been looking for him in the other room but you were sure that he was missing from the core four.

You had gotten used to their presence in this house but the gangbanger on your couch was brand new.

“I came here looking for him” Spooky shrugged, acting as if his actions were self-explanatory, though you had to point out that they weren’t. You had no way of knowing that anyone was here until a few minutes ago.

More than anything though, you also found yourself worrying for the kid. You knew what would happen if they caught him out there and you just hoped that he showed up soon.

Not that you could think about that while basically naked in your living room, getting eyed by a cholo.

“Okay-cool, well I’m gonna just go and get dressed, so…” you rambled, heading for the stairs without looking back.

You hated that your stomach did flips when you looked back to find Spooky’s eyes still glued to you.

You shouldn’t have even cared if he looked at you, like you felt when you got catcalled on the street. However, there was something different about Spooky.

Oscar.

His name was Oscar, and in this house, he was going to have to get used to being called by it. You weren’t one of his homies, and you weren’t going to call him by that goofy nickname.

You made a mental note of that as you pulled your t-shirt over your head, just glad you hadn’t decided to make a mad dash upstairs naked.

...It could have been worse than it was.

Still, you weren’t sure how to feel as you made your way back downstairs, now fully dressed. You knew that the lockdown wasn’t over yet, and that Spooky was likely still waiting for you.

You just hoped that you could actually keep it together for long enough to not make a fool out of yourself.

It wasn’t your fault that you were attracted to him. Oscar was fine as hell, and you simply took notice of it but that didn’t mean you wanted everyone else to know how you felt.

That was just for you to know at this point.

You couldn’t possibly handle it if he ever found out. It would kill you because you knew that Oscar didn’t feel the same way about you and you would never live it down.

Not that that mattered right now.

As soon as you walked down the stairs, you found Oscar waiting for you, that smug smile on his face. Your leaving had only left him to think about the cute panic on your face when you saw him, and how beautiful you looked fresh out of the shower.

He had never thought about it before, but he had never really seen you in that way.

...But now that he had, Spooky was never going to get it out of his head.

“I was worried you were never gonna come back, Mami” he joked, clearly having a good time teasing at your expense. However, you didn’t mind all that much.

After all, you just had to own what had happened, or else he had a point. “Trust me Oscar, that wasn’t the worst that could have happened” you shrugged, plopping down beside him on the couch.

At some point, the power had gone out, which meant that you would have to find something else to occupy your time, since tv wasn’t an option.

...It only meant that you had to really spend time with Oscar that you may not have otherwise.

“I hate lockdowns” you sighed, you liked being home but when you were told that you couldn’t go out anymore, that was all you wanted to do.

The male beside you nodded, having a hard time tearing his mind away from his younger brother and where he was at the moment. If there wasn’t a lockdown right now, he could just go out there to find him himself.

Luckily, he had you to take his mind off of it.

“You wanna play cards?” you suggested, looking back into the direction of the kitchen where the kids were.

You didn’t peg Oscar for the card playing type but anything would be better than just staring at the wall, worrying about where Cesar was.

If you were all going to be stuck here for who-knows-how-long, you might as well make the best of it.

“Cards?” he hummed, a strange tone in his voice that, when you looked over at him, proved to be amusement.

Oscar was actually laughing at you

“Yeah, you have any better ideas?” you questioned, not really expecting him to answer you. However, the Santo didn’t even miss a beat.

“I think you’d be pretty good at strip poker”

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liesoverthec · 3 years

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i want to know if the show has lead/main/regular roles among the main cast like most shows do?? if so, can you categorize them? your comment about may being a regular but not a main makes me wonder (also, i love those graphics you do every week!!)

Hi anon!!! Seriously thank you SO MUCH for your kind words and your question, they both made/make me ridiculously happy!

So there are 4 categories/terms that I use for this show that I find are supported by the screen time but also by plot, that any character on the show will fit into - main, regular, reoccurring character and then the extras.

Mains - Bobby, Athena, Hen, Chim, Maddie, Buck and Eddie

Regulars - May, Michael, Harry, Christopher, Karen, Josh, Albert, and Denny

Reoccurring characters - Taylor Kelly, Carla, Sue, Ravi, Linda, Jamal, etc etc

Extras - victims/patients/bystanders

If you’re curious about why, I’ll go into it under a cut!

Mains - Bobby, Athena, Hen, Chim, Maddie, Buck and Eddie. I don’t love to use the term “lead” for anyone on this show, because all 7 of them really are equals (and more importantly - this is reflected in the series screen time, so the writers actually put their money where their mouth is), and it is a little ridiculous imo to call seven different characters all The Most Important On The Show - I’d use the term “lead” for Gibbs on NCIS, or Owen on LS. But we don’t have a major forerunner like that since we actually are an ensemble, so “lead” doesn’t really fit here and I use “main” for those seven instead.

Regular - May, Michael, Harry, Christopher, Karen*, Josh*, Albert, and Denny*. These are the characters I feel very confident are always going to be around, and important to the show, so that even if they don’t get a lot of screen time, eg Denny, you can still pretty much guarantee two or three pop ups every season. The characters w an * aren’t considered regulars by the show - eg May is a regular in the show’s opinion, so she is credited for every episode even when she doesn’t appear, whereas Karen/Tracie Thoms only gets credit when she’s actually in the episode so she’s not technically a regular, but based on her time in the show and her role in the narration, she will always be important to the show, and she does get little stories of her own - same goes for Josh and Denny, so I count them even though the show doesn’t.

Reoccurring characters - Taylor Kelly, Carla, Sue, Ravi, Linda, Jamal, etc etc. These are the characters who come back more than once, and can get significant time (currently Taylor Kelly has 9:15 this season!), but there’s no real guarantee we’ll see them because they aren’t vital to the core 7 and their lives/families. There are plenty of stories the writers could write without involving them, and their emotional reactions aren’t absolutely necessary, unlike the regulars, where something that happens to Chim would be more impactful if Albert was included in it for example. But these characters have their own names and personalities and the audience roots for them whenever they come back. They serve more as characters who flesh the show out and give it more than the bare bones, absolutely for the better.

Extras - I feel like this one is self-explanatory.... this is just the victims or patients. They come on for five minutes, they get some emotional reaction out of us, and then they’re gone! Doesn’t make them any less important though.

While the distinction between reoccurring character and regular isn’t really supported by the data that I actually have, it’s more instinctual, the difference between main and regular IS supported by the data, and it’s a sharp difference. While I’ve only been taking time for the regulars for this current season, this is the current gap between May, the regular with the most, and Eddie -

It’s just not even comparable. (Which is why I’m pulling May from the “mains” graphic and making a second one with the regulars) Within the mains, it drops from most time to least, sure, but it’s a gentle downhill slope, not a cliff like this. So if people could stop saying Eddie got demoted that’d be great 😂 The reason this distinction comes about is that even when the mains aren’t getting much time, it’s still more time than a regular like May routinely gets, and when they get a lot of time, it’s a lot more than a regular ever gets.

I hope that all makes sense! (If it didn’t or you want me to clarify/elaborate, pls feel free to pop into my DMs or my inbox) And like I said, those are just the terms/categories that I personally use bc I feel they fit best with all of the information we have regarding screen time and intent and the overall narration of the story!

#b talks screen time #asked and answered #anon answer time #im probably being too picky w the distinction between lead and main #so if YOU want to use lead that's cool #as long as youre using lead to describe all 7 of them #bc theres not one who is more of a lead than the others #also you could maybe argue sue is a regular #but the fact that we went more than half a season without her makes me put her in reoccurring for now #also their categorization does not at all imply me loving them less or more!#thank you for your question it was fun!

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justfor2am · 5 years

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steven universe the movie au but it’s sanders sides

I’m calling it the Thomas Universe AU!

(creative, I know)

okay but hear me out

anyone who is human irl is still human in this au...this would take place in FL where Thomas lives, and this goes with the assumption that the sides are real and his friends + family know/can see them. patton + deceit appear unconventionally, and i know it wouldn’t make sense for the canon sanders sides universe rules, but i’ve already disregarded most of those so...

also, i know it wouldn’t work EXACTLY like the movie obvs and some stuff would have to be left out (like the diamonds....sorry babes)

also also I’m sticking a cut in here because i just realized this is gonna be a long one

Characters

Steven/Pink Diamond: Thomas (I’ll explain the PD later)

Garnet: Roman + Remus except it’s the opposite of a love story; learning to love themselves “unfused” as individual creativities (no remrom here please)

Amethyst: Virgil (i considered him as Pearl and you could make a case either way, but song-wise this works slightly better)

Pearl/Pink Diamond: Logan (see above, you could also make a case for him as Amethyst, and I’ll explain the PD later)

Bismuth: JayisJo (because i love them)

Lapis: Joan

Peridot: Talyn

Spinel: Patton + Deceit Fusion (yes, i know i know. i’ll explain)

Plot

Thomas is his best self, healthy, happy and surrounded with friends + family. They’re in the middle of fixing up their new office (Little Homeworld), and home (Thomas’s Apartment) is stable. The sides are all getting along, even as insufferable as Remus can be.

In this universe, Patton + Deceit were never thought to be “real” like the other sides. Whereas Thomas would film using his actual sides, he and Joan “invented” Patton and Deceit for the series’ storyline. They were, accidentally, repressed to the back of Thomas’ mind, and finally through their feelings of abandonment, come forth as one fused side called “Ethos”.

Ethos plants a bug in Thomas’ mind that would repress all of his sides back into his mind. He wouldn’t be void of personality, but it would hurt, and ran the risk of contaminating his friends. Since his friends don’t have sides, it would drain their personalities instead, and it’s a race to get Ethos to stop the bug.

Title Character Backstories

Steven Universe is self-explanatory enough, title character yada yada. Thomas also being Pink Diamond is meant as a younger Thomas, more so as a symbol of immaturity and also because I didn’t want to use Thomas’ actual mom because that literally wouldn’t have worked.

(For Logan, see Songs: Drift Away)

“Garnet” would have been the result of the great Creativity Split. Roman and Remus, once expected to stick together as one side, have learned (sort of) to co-exist with each other. In this universe, Thomas has accepted Remus (after a lot of wor) and the two creativities are more brotherly.

“Amethyst” would have been a reflection of Virgil’s time with the “dark” sides. Young and impressionable, him learning to accept love from the “light” sides and be himself despite the fighting between the two halves.

“Pearl” is a call-back to Logan’s quickly shifting from “Teacher Guy” on Vine to “Logic” in Sanders Sides. He felt his only purpose was to help Thomas; any emotions he felt were meant to be disregarded.

“Spinel” as a Patton + Deceit fusion still has her original stretchy powers, because with Deceit’s constant usage of shapeshifting and Patton’s joking manner, it just makes sense. They have Deceit’s Director!Patton Disguise, with four arms and two eyes, one blue and almost constantly tearing up, the other Deceit’s snake eye. There’s a monocle on the blue eyes, and small patches of snake skin. They also have a top hat, because snazzy.

alternatively: pick whichever fusion of them that @fangirltothefullest drew because that’s kinda the best way to visual them.

Weapons

• Instead of a scythe-style Rejuvenator, Ethos have a collapsible staff that can be split in two, each half with a long, thin blade inside. Swiping the sides with a blade does the same as a Rejuvenator + plants the “bug” in them. For Thomas, it only plants the bug.

• Roman uses his sword, and his shield to launch Remus in the air for attacks. Remus sticks with his morning star. Neither have future vision.

• Virgil doesn’t have a weapon, his “power” would be speed and darn good punches. He still has his “tempest tongue” ability, when his anxiety is extremely high.

• Logan has a shortbow, but is not above straight up wacking people with it.

Songs

Let Us Adore You:

Since I don’t have a Diamond equivalent, this song only really matters during its reprise.

Happily Ever After:

Moves the plot from Thomas’ house to “Little Homeworld”. Logan is being taught the bass by Jamal at his house (Logan is summoned by Thomas to the office later). Thomas drives to the office and talks to Roman and Remus, who’re play-fighting and writing scripts.

He walks into a room to be stopped by Virgil, because he was about to step into a can of paint. (This is one of the unfinished rooms). Joan, Tayln and Jay are there too, helping out. By the end of the song, Thomas is standing outside with all of his sides, enjoying the sunshine and being happy.

Other Friends:

Ohhhh boy. Ethos monologues at them for a bit, perched up on a lamppost. Logan recognizes them (this will be important later). They’re clearly unstable, and the sides get ready to fight.

Ethos uses their instability to their advantage, fusing and unfusing quickly around them to avoid getting hit. Ethos also uses their rubber powers to throw Logan into the air and letting him fall, trapping Virgil in a tree, and knocking Remus’ and Roman’s heads together. He finishes it off by scaring Thomas and pushing him into the ground, jumping back on the lamppost.

They all regroup, in pain, and after Thomas’ obvious lack of recognization, Ethos is only more unstable, yelling. He pulls out the staff and poofs the sides. Thomas manages to poof Ethos as well, but not without getting hit first.

system/BOOT.PearlFinal(3).Info:

We have this nice intermission where we see all of the sides “reset” and Logan narrates as his episode 1 self. Here we see Remus and Roman fuse automatically, without showing their individual forms. They pose still and quietly, without their individual quirks. Virgil forms as his Pre-AA self, bitter but also quiet, looking very nervous and trying to blend in.

Ethos reforms, but not fused. Deceit and Patton are both happy and friendly, acting like a Spinel-duo. Patton specializes in jokes + puns while Deceit does more physical humor. Deceit’s outfit is white instead, and he has no hat. Patton’s outfit is is original cardigan one. Patton and Deceit also finish each others sentences.

Thomas beings to notice the bug affecting himself, stinging him occasionally.

Who We Are:

Thomas is moping around while Jay, Joan and Talyn try to help figure out a solution. They set on the plan to make them all remember who they are.

Isn’t it Love?:

Remus and Roman accidentally unfuse, and they both feel a breath of fresh air. Neither of them have a proper “form”, and they take the song to pick out who they want to be. While they’re both much happier apart now, they still don’t know themselves.

No Matter What:

One of my favourite songs from this movie, and the key reason why Virgil would work better as Amethyst. Thomas takes Virgil back through his memories, showing him the music he used to like, how to sew, and they retake the sorting quiz together and talk about it.

Thomas puts on a few Halloween movies and Virgil starts to come back. He goes to stand in his corner by the stairs, and Thomas runs up to his room and gives him the ‘famILY’ card. With that, Virgil comes back.

Disobedient:

I don’t have as much to say here, but for funny purposes Logan “belongs” to Jamahl.

Independent Together:

A Thomas/Jamahl duet, they don’t “literally” fuse, but they’re still singing together. Logan remembers who he is and duets with Virgil. It’s a sweet moment.

Drift Away:

Ohhhh boy (part 2). Deceit and Patton are singing over each other here. The “Garden” is Thomas’ mind, and Logan/a younger, immature Thomas are Pink Diamond. Inadvertently, as Thomas was maturing, he wanted to put silly, childish things behind him. Logan, acting as his Logic, realized that meant Ethos, and went to “put them away”.

He told them Thomas was growing up, and that he would come back to them soon. But Thomas was young when this happened, and he soon forgot about them. Deceit is the one to pose the question: “Is this how it works, am I doing this right?” Patton is unwilling to ask such things, not wanting to doubt Thomas.

They stay there, mostly silent together. They see Thomas grow up, but never the other sides after Logan, because they don’t know the two are stuck back there. Patton keeps making excuses for Thomas, that he’s not ready yet, that he’ll be back soon.

The tipping point is when Deceit’s “character” is introduced. Patton was more than happy to excuse his own “character” into the Sanders Sides Series, but Deceit wasn’t. Upon seeing himself, and hearing Thomas and Joan talk as if Patton and Deceit weren’t really there, broke him.

Deceit called Patton out for excusing Thomas’ behavior, and grief breaks over him. With Deceit’s anger and Patton’s sadness, the two fuse into Ethos. Deceit wants revenge, Patton wants answers. While Deceit is the stronger of the two in the fusion, Patton does have his moments of fronting.

Found:

Thomas talks to Ethos, offering him a place in the Mindpalace again, and apologizing. Ethos takes him up on the offer, Patton clearly fronting. He turns off the bug in the sides and in Thomas.

True Kinda Love:

Remus and Roman finally come to themselves, play-fighting again before working together to protect Thomas + co. from Ethos. Ethos reactivates the bugs to work faster, and runs away from Thomas’s office to his home. Joan and Tayln offer to look after the sides while Thomas goes to find Ethos, who’s perched on top of his house, curled up.

(work with me here,) Thomas goes up the fire escape to the roof, (pretend his roof is flat would y’all?) to face off.

Change:

Ethos is ready to fight. Thomas is not. He actively avoids hitting/getting hit by Ethos, moving the fight back to the ground and darting between the park near his house, letting Ethos punch the trees instead. He talks to Ethos, who’s starting to come undone. After getting punched into a tree, Patton pulls himself out of the fusion and goes to help him.

Deceit sees him do this, and after a moment of self-frustration, refuses with Patton to turn off the bug before unfusing again. Thomas takes them back to the office to check up on the other sides, who are now doing just fine.

Let Us Adore You (Reprise):

Finally, this song comes in handy! Instead of the Diamonds singing to Spinel, the sides offer Patton and Deceit a place back in the Mindscape with them, while Thomas says that if they need some time alone, he understands.

The sides all apologize, especially Logan for leaving them alone for so long.

Patton all but jumps at the idea of having a real home, and is thrilled to have a place. Patton sings first, “Today, right here, right now, I'll love again. I've already found someone.”

He starts walking toward them, but stops. Deceit has his arms crossed, and is standing farther back. Patton offers him a hand, and Deceit finally takes a step forward. He’s more hesitant, mostly because like ten minutes ago he was trying to kill all of them. But he misses playing with Thomas, even if as a side his purpose has corrupted with time.

“Yes, I know that you're not her and I was her's. You know what it meant to love her, and you remind me so much of her.” A group hug ensues, and Deceit and Patton are both holding on tight to Thomas. A few tears are shed, and the healing has started.

Finale:

Thomas is continuing to work with all of his sides to make sure Patton and Deceit are adjusting well. The office is eventually finished, Patton and Deceit even get to play themselves in the series. All is well, and Thomas is looking forward to the future and what it brings.

And yeah, that’s all folks! Feel free to do whatever for this, I might write some things for it too. But if y’all do stuff with this, please tag me, I’d love to see whatever y’all make! :-)

#sanders sides #steven universe the movie #steven universe #thomas sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #fusion #justfor2am #justfor2talks

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nurseconscience · 6 years

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Tagged by: @shxcklash (Sorry this took so long to complete!!!)

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs to get to know them better.

Nickname: Miranda

Gender: female

Star sign: pisces

Height: 5′ 6″

Time: 10:56 am

Birthday: Feb 27th

Favourite Bands: This list would never end.... But I will say Mother Mother, Honor Society (now disbanded sadly. Great guys.), A Band of Buriers, Phantom Planet, Rooney, The Coronas

Favourite Solo Artists: MAX, Jesse Kinch (CD just dropped), and David Bowie. And my friend, Jamal Moore. (CHECK HIM OUT. He was on The Singing Bee a few seasons ago and was AMAZING. He really does sing like that in person. His voice is amazing. I grew up hearing it in the halls at school for many years.)

Song stuck in my head: Smokestacks by Layla

Last movie I watched: Dare to be Wild; an indie film NOW ON NETFLIX about a young Irish woman entering and winning the Chelsea Flower Show. Based on the true story. The love interest in it is my FC for my Sherrinford Holmes account: Tom Hughes. Highly recommend.

Last show I watched: Humans. I marathoned both seasons and am now on a fanfiction craze because THIS SHOW IS AMAZING. I didn’t think I could enjoy Colin Morgan more. But I do.

When did I create my blog: Jan 2018

What do I post: RP for Nic, The Resident gifset reblogs, and lots of random medical things I find interesting

Last thing I googled: how to measure pulse

Do you have any other blogs: ....if I listed all my blogs I would look insane. There are too many voices in my head....I don’t even remember them all. My current semi-active ones are @ladytimctravclcr (Primeval), @fieldcoordinatcr (Primeval), @nctanthca (Sherlock), @nctwilliam (Sherlock), @fangedearring (HP), @madamprcsident (Fantastic Beasts), @barnxradio (Haven), @macusaxroyalty (HP/FB) and so many others. I have a few for Broadchurch but that fandom is basically dead...

I normally log in every few days to see if anyone is around but for the FB/HP or Primeval blogs, the fandoms are small and so they don’t get to do much. Which is fine, since I am trying to keep Nic and Anthea (nctanthea) going. Sherrinford (nctwilliam) is also coming into his own currently. He is my child and I love him. A lot of them are sideblogs so it is easier to check them/group them by type.

Do you get asks: sometimes; I really like them so feel free to send them in!

Why did you choose your URL: Well ‘nurse’ because Nic is a nurse. Kind of self explanatory, and ‘conscience’ because in a lot of interviews Nic is described as the conscience of the show. She’s the moral compass and is the one that kind of talks to everyone, gauging their feelings and sometimes can talk them down from whatever crazy idea they might have ( looking at you Conrad ).

Following: nintey-one

Followers: sixty-three

Favourite colour(s): dark green or burgundy

Average hours of sleep: five

Lucky number: six

Instruments: violin, piano, and I have a cello, balalaika, guitar, and uke. The balalaika was decorative originally from my grandmother but one of my music professor friends fixed it so I could actually play it. Sadly it needs some repairs. I know one song and it is just from memory years ago. The Uke I can’t really do anything with but I want to learn. I can tune instruments by ear easily. But I don’t often have time to learn new things. My guitar I can not do much with and my cello I can figure some things out by ear. Violin and piano are the instruments I can at least BS some decent knowledge on. I can read all clefs.

What am I wearing: green trousers, a black blouse with birds by Atmosphere I picked up in Primark last year, and a blanket with a sleeping cat. ;) [ I only specifically remember the shirt because I bought it on vacation and I love it so much. ]

How many blankets do I sleep with: as many as I can find. I like the cold but nothing beats a good blanket.

Dream job: writer; librarian

Dream Trip: I love visiting London so that is normally what I dream of when work is killing me. It is legitimately my dream trip. How I keep myself motivated from not killing coworkers. haha But I also really want to go back to NZ. I miss my NZ family.

Favourite food: chicken cordon bleu. favorite condiment is aioli. [ I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT IS NOT REALLY A THING HERE IN THE STATES. ]

Nationality: i’m american, but when traveling I am often mistaken for Canadian or Irish. Heritage is English, Irish, and German mainly. So basically all of myself hates the rest of myself. lol

Favourite song now: Soldier by Fleurie ; heard it while looking up Becker/Jess videos on youtube and it fits them real well and her voice is just fantastic.

Tagging: Whoever hasn’t done this yet. it’s been in my drafts for around a month. Whoops.

#☤ ┊ ABOUT THE MUN. / ◜ ❝ researchy scooby ❞◞

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

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The Weekend Warrior 12/13/19: JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL, BLACK CHRISTMAS, RICHARD JEWELL, BOMBSHELL and more!

Woooooooo!!! We’re starting to get to the end of the year with only three more weekends of new movies before we’re into 2020, which on one hand, has to be better than 2019, but maybe not in terms of box office with no “Avengers” or “Star Wars” movie in sight.

Sony Pictures is releasing the second-to-last sequel of the weekend, JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL, which brings back all of your faves, including Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan, and introduces a new character played by Awkwafina. I reviewed the movie over at The Beat, and also discussed its box office prospects

I also will have a review of Sophia Takal’s horror remake BLACK CHRISTMAS (Universal) over at The Beat, but that’s mainly interesting since it’s the second remake of the ‘70s horror movie, this one produced by Blumhouse. I really liked Sophia Takal’s previous movie Always Shine, so I’m definitely interested to see what she does with a mainstream horror film.

You can read my reviews of both those movies over at The Beat, although the Black Christmas review is embargoed until Thursday night… make of that what you will. Plus you can read more about the three wide releases over at my weekly Box Office Preview.

One movie I haven’t reviewed over there is Clint Eastwood’s latest, RICHARD JEWELL (Warner Bros.), which stars Paul Walter Hauser as the famed Atlanta security guard who discovered a bomb in the city’s Centennial Park and was then accused of planting the bomb there to be seen as a hero. The movie also stars Sam Rockwell (as Richard’s lawyer), Kathy Bates (as Richard’s mother), Jon Hamm as the FBI guy who is after him and Olivia Wilde as the Atlanta reporter who first breaks the story about Jewell being a suspect. I’m going to try to write a mini-review for this one, but long and short of it, is that this is another really good movie from Eastwood, and if I get a chance, I will write more about it soon.

LIMITED RELEASES

There are a bunch of great movies coming out in limited release, some that will expand wider later in the month.

First and foremost is Jay Roach’s BOMBSHELL (Lionsgate), starring Charlize Theron as Megyn Kelly and Nicole Kidman as Gretchen Carlson, and if you know those names, then you might already realize that this film written by Charles Randolph (The Big Short) is about the Fox News sexual abuse scandal. Margot Robbie also stars in this one, as does John Lithgow as Roger Aisles, plus there’s lots of other great character actors in roles as people you might know from the news (both on camera and behind the scenes). I was hoping to write a fuller review of this and maybe still will but didn’t have time before getting this column out. Regardless, this is a very intriguing and entertaining film (just like The Big Short) with fantastic performances by all. The movie will expand nationwide next Friday.

Josh and Ben Safdie are back with UNCUT GEMS (A24), starring Adam Sandler as a New York jewelry merchant who gets his hands on a rare South African gem, and then spends the entire movie trying to get it back after lending it out to star basketball player Kevin Garnett (playing himself). I wasn’t really a very big fan of the Safdies’ Good Time, which Millennial critics tend to cream all over, but Uncut Gems is definitely better even if it’s similarly manic. Sandler’s definitely good in the role, but awards-worthy? Not even close… I think this ia good movie being sold by people as a great movie, and I couldn’t disagree more. If you liked Good Time, you’ll probably like this, too. This will be nationwide on Christmas Day.

Terrence Malick is also back, continuing his amazingly prolific degree of filmmaking in his mid-70s with A HIDDEN LIFE (Fox SEarchlight), a three-hour drama about an Austrian farmer (August Diehl) who refuses to swear allegiance to Hitler as WWII begins, which first makes him a bit of a pariah in his rural community but eventually gets him thrown in prison for treason. Valerie Pachner is quite terrific as his wife, and the movie has some great smaller roles for Matthias Schoenaerts, the late Michael Nyqvist, Bruno Ganz and Jürgen Prochnow. If you’re a fan of Malick’s better films than

Kristen Stewart plays French New Wave actress Jean Seberg in Benedict Andrews’ SEBERG (Amazon), about how the actress got into a relationship with Hakim Jamal (played by Anthony Mackie), causing trouble for her career. The movie also stars Margaret Qualley (Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood), Jack O’Connell, Zazie Beetz and Stephen Root, and it will get a limited release this weekend.

Stephen and Robbie Amell star in Jeff Chan’s Code 8 (Elevation Pictures), Robbie playing Connor Reed, a guy with superpowers living in a world where those with powers are minimalized and living in poverty. In desperate need of money to help his ailing mother, Connor gets in with a powered thug named Garrett (played by his cousin, Stephen) to use his powers for elaborate heists. It’s a surprisingly good movie, mainly due to Jeff Chan’s ability to create a big movie on a seemingly limited budget.

You can check out the trailer and Chan’s original short film that inspired the feature below, and my interview with Robbie Amell will be on The Beat on Thursday sometime.

youtube

Steven Luke’s The Great War (Saban/Lionsgate), opening in select cities Fridays, takes place during the last days of WWI where a regiment of African-American “Buffalo Soldiers” are trapped behind enemy lines. When one escapes, he asked to join an all-white troop to find the survivors.s

An interesting doc, especially for lovers of dance, is Alla Kogvan’s documentary Cunningham (Magnolia), which uses 3D technology to explore the life and work of the late choreographer Merce Cunningham (who would be celebrating his centennial anniversary this year), combining archival footage with newly-created performances of Cunningham’s greatest work. This movie reminded me quite a bit of Wim Wenders’ doc Pina in that I enjoyed this, despite having zero to no interest in dance in general. It will open at the Film Forumin New York on Friday, as well as Film at Lincoln Centeruptown, the Royal in L.A, the Arclight in Sherman Oaks and Edwards Westpark 8 in Irvine.

Xavier Dolan’s latest film The Death and Life of John Donovan (Momentum), stars Kit Harington, Natalie Portman, Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates, Thandie Newton, Jacob Tremblay and more. It’s about the relationship between a young actor and a TV star that takes place ten years after the latter’s death. It will open in select cities and On Demand.

Lastly, there’s Danny Abeckaser’s MAFIA drama Mob Town (Saban Films), starring David Arquette, Jennifer Esposito, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and PJ Byrne.

Also, next Monday, Trafalgar Releasing is releasing Gorillaz: Reject False Icons, a new concert doc about Damon Alban’s Blur spin-off group with comic artist Jamie Hewett.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Michael Bay’s action-comedy 6 UNDERGROUND (Netflix), starring Ryan Reynolds, will get a very limited release Weds. before debuting on the service on Friday. I really don’t know much about it other than it’s about six specialists come together to do stuff.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This weekend, the Metrograph begins a fairly self-explanatory series called “Malick: The First Four Films” to coincide with the release of A Hidden Life (see above), although 2005’s The New World won’t screen until next weekend. Also, the theater also continues its annual “Holidays at Metrograph” series with Billy Wilder’s 1960 Oscar winner The Apartment screening Saturday and Sunday. Welcome To Metrograph: Redux continues with David Lean’s Brief Encounter (1945) on Wednesday and Otto Premingers’ Bunny Lake is Missing (1965) on Friday and Saturday. This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph is David Lynch’s Dune (1984) while Playtime: Family Matinees is the 1992 The Muppet Christmas Carol.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” is Blue Vengeance from 1989, while the weekend’s “Kids Camp” is last year’s animated The Grinch. On Monday evening is a 10thanniversary screening of Vernon Chatman’s Final Flesh. Tuesday’s “Terror Tuesday” is the original Black Christmas from 1974 (already sold out), and “Weird Wednesday” is the 1985 thriller Trancers, hosted by John Torrani.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

The Weds. Afternoon Classics matinee is The Thin Man (1934), starring William Powell and Myrna Loy, while Friday’s “Freaky Fridays” offering is the original 1933 James Whale movie The Invisible Man. The Weds/Thurs double feature is Todd Haynes’ Carol (2015) and Far from Heaven (2002) with DP Ed Lachman appearing on Weds (sorry, sold out!). Saturday and Sunday offers the Kiddee Matinee of A Christmas Story, as well as a special “Holiday Edition” of the New Bev’s Cartoon Club. Friday’s midnight is Tarantino’s own Reservoir Dogs, while Saturday midnight is the holiday horror film Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984). Monday’s Matinee is Bad Santa, starring Billy Bob Thornton and Monday night’s screening is Ingmar Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander (1982).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

“Scorsese Non-Fiction” will continue through December 17 with screenings this week of Rolling Thunder Revue and Shine a Light, as well as another screening of A Personal Journey with Martin Scorsese through American MoviesFriday, and screenings of the classics The Last Waltz and No Direction Home: Bob Dylan on Sunday.The 70th anniversary 4k restoration of Alec Guinness’ Kind Hearts and Coronets will continue through December 19 with screenings at 12:30 and 6:10pm each day. This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is the Disney animated film The Aristocrats (1970).

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

After an encore screening of Auntie Mame (1958) on Thursday, the Egyptian will screen a David O. Russell hosted screening of Tourneur’s 1919 film The Broken Butterfly with musical accompaniment on Friday. Saturday night is “Retroformat 10thAnniversary” sponsored by the George Lucas Family Foundation, showing two hours of movies from the early 20thCentury with musical accompaniment. Saturday night is a Spike Jonze double feature of Being John Malkovich and Three Kings, while Adam Driver will continue his awards campaign run by appearing for a double feature of Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Storywith Jim Jarmusch’s Paterson.

AERO (LA):

Terry Gilliam will be appearing in person on Friday night for a TRIPLE FEATURE (!!!) of The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, Time Banditsand The Adventures of Baron Munchausen… which makes me really wish I lived in L.A. On Saturday, screenwriters Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski will screen their new movie My Name is Dolemite along with Tim Burton’s Ed Wood (1994). Edward Norton and Primal Fear (1995) producer Hawk Koch will appear on Sunday afternoon for a double feature of the latter (in which Norton stars) along with Norton’s own new film, Motherless Brooklyn. Tuesday’s “Christmas Noir” Is Nicholas Ray’s debut TheyLive By Night (1949).

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

MOMI’s own Terrence Malick series ends this weekend with screenings of Voyage of Time: Life’s Journey on Friday and Sunday, The New World: Limited Releas Version on Saturday, as well as The Thin Red Line on Sunday evening. Monday, there is a free screening of Martin Scorsese’s Casino (1995) as part of “Martin Scorsese: Four Movies over Four Decades.” Saturday’s family matinee is Hiroyuki Morita’s 2002 film The Cat Returns, while John Cassavetes’ Gloria (1980) will screen on Sunday afternoon as part of the ongoing “Always on Sunday: Greek Film Series.”

MOMA (NYC):

This week’s new series is called “The Wonders” and it’s the first American retrospective of writer-director Alice Rohrwacher and the actress Alba Rohrwacher. I’m really not that familiar with either although Rohrwacher’s Happy as Lazzaro last year was fairly well-received.Modern Matinees: Iris Barry’s History of Filmal so continues this week with Hamlet (1920) today, Greed (1924) tomorrow and a program called “Great Actresses of the Past 1911 – 1916” on Friday.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Weekend Classics: May All Your Christmases be Noir will be screening Charles Laughton’s 1955 film The Night of the Hunter, starring Robert Mitchum; Waverly Midnights: Spy Games will screen Hitchcock’s North by Northwest; and Late Night Favorites: Autumn 2019 will show Aliens and Eraserhead.

FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

Not much to report except that there will be an encore screening of the 2001 Korean blockbuster My Sassy Girl on Thursday afternoon.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

Continuing its Nicolas Cage vintage series with 1991’s Zandalee on Wednesday, Barbet Schroeder’s Kiss of Death (1995) on Thursday and Sunday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

#JumanjiTheNextLevel Bombshell RichardJewell BlackChristmas Movies Reviews TheWeekendWarrior

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ddcjas · 7 years

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okay, i said i was gonna do this eventually but right now i cannot wait. here is a list of black males that y’all in this community need to make some damn resources for instead of the same ass pasty white boys or gif packs of reece king every time he updates his damn snapchat.

trevante rhodes — he is god. thats all

mahershala ali — HE IS THE FIRST MUSLIM ACTOR TO WIN BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN THE ACADEMY AWARD WINNING FILM MOONLIGHT, LETS GET ON IT

ashton sanders — my smol son, despite his looks, is 21 years old. he is my lil king. also, see above.

jharrel jerome — he is my second smol son. he is 19 years old. i love him. get on it.

tory lanez — hes small but he has more than enough for yall to make some damn icons or gif icons from. so far, only one person has contributed to the cause and thats @sculglitch. ilu boo

partynextdoor — i’m aware that this man moves in silence but he got four music videos under his belt, instagram videos, and a couple interviews. show my husband some love.

mike colter — UM??????? SELF EXPLANATORY.

bryson tiller — he literally has but one source for gif icons like what the actual fuck is wrong with y’all.

quavo* — all of the migos, actually.

tyler the creator — he a lil weird but he a ball of sunshine.

asap rocky — listen, i’m aware he has two gif resources but no offense, they are outdated. yall can thank me for the static icons but more, pls.

frank ocean — if he has more resources, i sure ain’t aware of em.

isaiah rashad — i need more gifs of my king.

kendrick lamar — BOY. FREEDOM, CUT ME THE FUCK LOOSE.

j. cole — most of his resources are old and outdated. lets get on it, folks.

roy woods — a wonderful man.

asap ferg — HE HAS LIKE NO RESOURCES LMAO I’M PISSED OFF.

chance the rapper — believe it or not, my king has very little resources and i wanna fight all y’all tonight.

dom kennedy — google him if u don’t know it.

kid cudi — all of his are outdated. c’mon, folks. i’ve seen all of two cudi muses.

miguel — he may not be black but he sure needs some resources.

andre 3000 — lmao why not???

sampha — LMAO WHY NOT?????

v**tor p**e jr — i’d be careful with this but i love my honey bear.

d*metr*us h*rm*n — same. just remove the asteriks and figure it out. hes eighteen also, btw.

algee smith — FAVOR PEACE AND BLESSINGS.

woody mcclain — he been poppin on social media before new edition, folks.

luke james — A MAN, A LEGEND.

elijah kelly — yall dont remember hairspray???

bryshere grey — he more than just hakeem, now.

trai bryers — HE MORE THAN JSUT ANDRE.

jussie smollett — HE MORE THAN JUST JAMAL LYON.

if anyone can think of anymore lovely mens who deserve to be on this list, please do let me know and add this shit on. but i’m bout tired of seeing the same diet poc characters on y’alls blogs. y’all need some melanin, y’all need some Men. stop playing games with me with that “theres just not enough!” when urban rph blogs can make entire gif hunts just off of snapchat videos of social media stars and thats the tea on that.

#if u got any issues feel free to fight me thanks!!!#indie rp

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flauntpage · 6 years

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The Outlet Pass: The NBA is Back and Zach LaVine is Unstoppable

Last year I ventured to analyze every side of the NBA through this column, but instead of exploring all 30 teams as randomly as one possibly can, I’m going to break things down within a rotating group of categories to make it all more digestible. (They’re all pretty self-explanatory, but just to give a quick example, “Film Session” is a category where I’ll break down a possession or two—or three or four—and then explain why they’re relevant. I promise none of this will be complicated!)

It’s a work in progress, and figuring out how to organize it the best way I possibly can will be fluid. If you have any questions, ideas, or comments, feel free to shoot me an e-mail or ask away on Twitter. Now, without further ado, welcome to The Outlet Pass’s second season. And, as ever, thank you for reading!

Film session

The 0-3 Oklahoma City Thunder might be in trouble. Heading into tonight’s game against the Boston Celtics, they have the least efficient half-court offense in the league and rank 29th in transition. They don’t pass and they can’t shoot. Not great!

The Thunder rank dead last in three-point accuracy from above the break and the corners, and are 29th from the mid-range. Everyone is shooting below 30 percent from deep except Paul George (who barely clears it at 31.3 percent); Terrance Ferguson, Jerami Grant, and Russell Westbrook are a combined “I’m not even mad, that’s amazing” 3-for-27. Nerlens Noel, Hamidou Diallo, and Steven Adams scare no one from the outside.

A three-game shooting slump is nothing to panic over. Alex Abrines will eventually heat up, George and Dennis Schröder will eventually settle down, and (somewhat superficial) stretch fours like Grant and Patrick Patterson should find some type of rhythm as the season goes on. What Oklahoma City can’t control is how defenses choose to play them—but they can control how they respond. When the floor is cramped, as it usually is, they often choose to swim upstream instead of taking what’s given.

It’s that lack of an extra pass that does those low shooting numbers no favors. They rank 28th in passes per game, 29th in assist points created, and 26th in secondary assists. (The Thunder are somehow fifth in potential assists, but, yeah, that’s neither here nor there.)

Here are a few examples:

Being that it’s Adams taking this shot from one of his sweet spots, what happens isn’t the most terrible result. But with Draymond Green sinking that far in off Patterson, a little action on the weakside might be beneficial. Either immediately kick the ball out to an open shooter or maybe have Patterson back pick Steph Curry to free up Ferguson.

Here, Schröder forces weak-side help on a drive into the paint, but instead of flipping a pass to Grant in the corner, he tries to float in a difficult layup over a collapsing Warriors defense. And on the play seen below, Grant is obsessed with attacking Klay Thompson in the post even though Abrines is wide open in his line of sight:

Two of Oklahoma City’s losses have been without their best player, a guy who averaged a triple-double two years in a row. That’s true. It also doesn’t change the moral of the story: in 2018, nothing humbles an offensive star quite like a cramped floor. Westbrook will find the rim because he’s a bull and that’s his matador, but, on the whole, high pick-and-rolls run by him and (especially) George will turn into mud more often than not. Until they add another outside threat (Andre Roberson isn’t it), get used to seeing this:

Nemanja Bjelica couldn't care less about guarding Grant in the corner. The Thunder’s spacing is terrible, but besides crashing the glass as often as they can and making open shots when they appear (surprise: no team has been worse on wide-open threes), perhaps feeding whoever the defense chooses to ignore until the floor loosens up a little bit isn’t the dumbest idea.

The Trade Machine

The Phoenix Suns do not have a point guard and, assuming they don’t want to pay Trevor Ariza $15 million on their way to another postseason-less campaign, they should probably think about acquiring one—as futile a move as it might be. But before we look at two semi-realistic options, I want to take a deeper look at why getting a real point guard is so important.

New Suns head coach Igor Kokoskov is implementing the same hand-off-saturated system we’ve seen in Utah since Quin Snyder took that job. The Suns are averaging the second-most passes per game (about 13 more than the Philadelphia 76ers led the NBA with last season), and despite their youth and athleticism, a whopping 84.9 percent of their offensive possessions have come in a half-court setting, which is second to zero teams. (In four of the last five years, Phoenix has placed top-five in the percentage of their possessions that began in transition.)

Life is different in a system that demands structure and orderliness. In Phoenix’s home opener, Kokoskov just about lost his mind when Isaiah Canaan veered off script by faking a handoff, keeping the ball, and mucking up the action’s intent. Nothing against Canaan, but confident, stable point guards don’t do that. They organize and let teammates sink into their natural roles while assuming more play-to-play pressure than anyone else. Devin Booker at the point in crunch time is fun and not the worst thing for his individual development, but it’s also not a consistent winning formula. Jamal Crawford is not the answer, either.

The list of semi-realistic options is long: there are expensive stars who may be declining (like Mike Conley and John Wall), intriguing restricted free agents to be who’ve yet to prove they can handle their own team but, depending on who you ask, have the talent to do so (Terry Rozier, Malcolm Brogdon, D’Angelo Russell), and established-but-still-improving vets who aren’t that expensive (Ricky Rubio, Marcus Smart).

There are more names to fill in, but my favorite fit is Rubio. He already knows the system, doesn’t need shots, and is the best passer named. Just about anything is possible in today’s NBA, but there is an extremely slim chance Utah disrupts its momentum by jettisoning an important starter. They’re too good. But what if the Jazz receive an offer that’s too good to pass up, then talk themselves into Dante Exum’s progression as a logical long-term partner beside Donovan Mitchell?

If the Suns really want Rubio, they can go after him as a free agent this summer. But that’s what a smart franchise would do. So long as Robert Sarver is the owner, Phoenix is not that, which brings me to the player I most want to see in a Suns jersey...

If there’s any candidate for the Blake Griffin treatment before this year’s trade deadline, it should be Wall, a supremely gifted maestro who’s currently stuck in Ernie Grunfeld’s purgatory and owed a cap-crippling extension that runs until 2023. He turned 28 in September. The Wizards are 1-3, and Wall is 2-for-17 beyond the arc. If they can get off that contract and pick up a valuable asset or two, they should do it in a heartbeat.

Phoenix’s position is harder to justify, given they’re clearly rebuilding around Booker and Deandre Ayton, neither of whom is older than 21 years old. But if headlines and relevance are a priority over patience, growth, and sensical decisions, then what the hell, right? (Wall, Booker, Ariza, Ryan Anderson, and Ayton is not a bad starting five!)

Phoenix has assets to dangle. Would T.J. Warren, Josh Jackson, and Milwaukee’s awkwardly-protected first in 2019 (that’s top-seven protected in 2020 and unprotected in 2021, which doubles as the final year of Giannis Antetokounmpo’s contract) be enough for the Wizards to bite? In reality, probably not. But they should. And the Western Conference would be that much more interesting going forward.

Character Spotlight

If I was the GM of a team that’s dangerously thin at center, Damian Jones, Golden State’s most recent (and intriguing) fifth wheel, would be an unhealthy obsession. Jones is 23 years old, seven feet tall, athletic, mobile, long, and instinctive. So far, he looks like a more responsible version of what the Warriors had with JaVale McGee.

He’s started every game and has made a league-leading 85.7 percent of his field goals, but the best part is he may ostensibly be available before the trade deadline! Golden State already has Kevon Looney, Jordan Bell, and a recuperating DeMarcus Cousins at the five spot. Meanwhile, Draymond Green will play center when it matters most, Kevin Durant is also seven feet tall, and Jonas Jerebko can moonlight at the position if need be. But more on that later.

Jones is good. As an anchor, he can defend pick-and-rolls in myriad ways, protect the rim, and stand up opposing centers who want to battle in the post. As of Wednesday, he had the sixth-most box outs in the entire league despite logging at least 20 fewer minutes than everyone who ranked higher, while opposing shooters are really struggling at the rim when he’s protecting it.

Jones battles, runs the floor, and is already a menacing vertical spacer. He’s also established enough capital with Steve Kerr to stay in games despite early foul trouble, as has already been the case twice this season. The next two possessions came right after he picked up his second foul, yet there’s no drop in his activity.

One minute later, he deflected a Derrick Favors lob that led to a Durant dunk on the other end. Sure, there was that whole ordeal where his would-be-game-tying layup was blocked by Juan Hernangomez, but for the time being, Jones has quietly morphed into a significant steal.

With a $2.3 million team option next season, before he’s eligible to become a restricted free agent in 2021, Jones is someone the Warriors may not be able to afford long-term. At the same time, Looney and Cousins are both unrestricted free agents this summer, while Bell can be restricted. It’s not that crazy to plot a scenario where Jones is not only the last big standing, but a consequential building block for whatever this roster evolves into over the next few years. Small ball is nice, but Joel Embiid, Anthony Davis, and Karl-Anthony Towns are coming.

A Bold Take

Zach LaVine will be this season's scoring champion. In the first four games of a four-year, $78 million contract that the Chicago Bulls were heavily criticized for feeding into their cap sheet, he dropped 129 points with a 69.5 True Shooting percentage and 33.3 usage rate. He's scored at least 30 points in every game, and Monday night LaVine mutilated the Dallas Mavericks, doing as he pleased against every pick-and-roll coverage Rick Carlisle threw at him.

So, how do we go from witnessing a four-game inferno to making a prediction that feels even hotter? To begin, let’s first identify a few parameters that don’t make the idea look that insane. For starters: the three-point line. It’s become a fluke-inducing game changer—the sort of variable that makes inconceivable events feel possible. And LaVine doesn’t need anybody's help taking advantage.

He has the conscience (or lack thereof), legs, and willingness to pull up from 25 feet seven, eight, nine times per game. He can create his own shot from anywhere on the floor, whenever he wants, and looks faster and stronger than he did before he tore his ACL, with more sway over his own NASA-regulated athleticism. Dribbles aren’t wasted; he’s becoming a carnivore who’s learned not to play with his prey.

Here he takes a stagger screen from Jabari Parker and Robin Lopez, sees a crack in Dwight Powell’s coverage, and jackhammers his way into the paint with a right-to-left crossover. One play later, Chicago ran the exact same action, but this time LaVine rejects the screen (at the very beginning, watch how he tries to confuse Dorian Finney-Smith by pointing at where he wants the pick) and finishes with a dunk. There’s no hesitation.

LaVine has more than enough tools to attack from all three levels, with an ability to separate behind the three-point line, dance in the mid-range, and finish strong at the rim (as he did with his left hand against Joel Embiid in Chicago’s opener). It’s impressive, and, on this roster, will unleash itself beneath a dark cloud of necessary selfishness. If LaVine moves the ball, there’s a slim chance he’ll get it back (especially when Parker is on the floor—the Bulls do not pass!). He’ll also operate in lineups that feature big men who can space the floor. Look how far out Bobby Portis stands in the clip below, trying to drag Ben Simmons away from his help responsibilities. Now picture Lauri Markkanen in the same spot:

There are more outside factors that support LaVine’s chase for a scoring crown: 1) Chicago will rarely, if ever, taste a fourth-quarter blowout in their favor, trotting out defensive units that quickly surrender gobs of points without any resistance, 2) We exist in an era that’s defined by selfless All-Stars who’re happy to sacrifice their own numbers for the chance to team up with other All-Stars, 3) And, again, the three-point line’s incessant takeover of NBA aesthetics. Combine all this with LaVine’s own improvement and it’s easy to see how he’s set up to contend for, if not win, the 2019 scoring title. So many of his buckets will be empty calories, but if he manages to sustain even 80 percent of what’s already on display, LaVine’s contract will become a steal. (His defense hasn’t been awful, either!) Even if it’s due to a flurry of circumstance, he’ll also be the NBA’s top scorer.

Small Sample Size Theatre

Kemba Walker was a breakout topic of conversation during the season’s first week. In five games, he’s averaging an efficient 31 points. And even though an eventual return to Earth is more probable than not, there’s also some reason to believe that we’re witnessing a “late” career leap. Walker probably won’t do what Steph Curry did in 2015, but why can’t his upcoming season mirror the explosion detonated by Isaiah Thomas two years ago?

Right now he’s the league’s fifth-leading scorer, and not to subtweet Dwight Howard, but look at how good Walker was last season when Howard wasn’t on the floor. Those numbers are a dagger, and speak to how much better he can be in small (shout out to Michael Kidd-Gilchrist at the five), spread lineups that also feature big men who can pass on the move. Consider the mind of a defense as it tries to stop him in the pick-and-roll. If the screener’s man drops, well, Walker made 38.1 percent of his pull-up threes last season and through five games is 15-for-38 (that’s both accurate and a ridiculously high volume). If you trap or bring the screener’s man level with the pick, execution is key. Whenever he splits a screen, it’ll make you think about paintings in the MOMA.

And even if you squeeze the ball out of his hands, there’s a good chance your weak-side defense will somehow get punished by an open three. This skip pass was awesome:

In the same vein as Thomas, Walker’s three-point shot forces the defense to remain in code red whenever he has or doesn’t have the ball, but in order for him to sustain his efficiency there must be an aggressive willingness to drive, finish, and draw fouls in the paint. So far he’s averaging about half as many free-throws per game as Thomas did in 2017, with the lowest free-throw rate of his career. If Walker wants to reach that next tier and legitimately find himself in the MVP conversation, obviously Charlotte needs to exceed expectations and bump itself as high as a five or six seed, but also he needs to score efficiently at a high volume against teams that will view slowing him down as steps 1, 2, and 3 to victory.

This Stat Feels Important

The Milwaukee Bucks have scored a lower percentage of their points from the mid-range than every other team in the league, including the Houston Rockets. Right now, they’re at 1.7 percent. Last season, they finished at 13.7 percent, which was ninth-highest in the league.

Given what we know about their new head coach, their old head coach, and the ceiling this roster’s all-around talent has yet to discover about itself, that first stat feels like the moment in any classic horror movie where the babysitter tries to call 911 right when the power goes out. If you aren’t a Bucks fan, you are that babysitter.

Digging a bit deeper into Milwaukee’s offense, we already knew Brook Lopez and Ersan Ilyasova would allow Giannis Antetokounmpo to demolish everything in his path, but it’s jarring how quickly this team has adopted and taken advantage of Budenholzer’s five-out system. Antetokounmpo is having a field day, sure, but it’s easy to overlook just how beneficial an equal-opportunity/mid-decade-Hawks outlook would be for the supplementary pieces, too. There’s more freedom to shoot threes, yes. More importantly, with an open paint, there’s more space to cut, move, dive, and slip for easy layups.

At times, Milwaukee’s half-court offense looks like the Warriors, with split cuts that force defenses to pay attention and communicate all over the floor. The system is a beast unto itself, and taming it while Antetokounmpo breathes fire in your face can’t be fun.

Related: the evolution of Khris Middleton’s shot chart deserves its own thousand-word essay, but for the time being here are the basics. According to Basketball-Reference, the 27-year-old’s career three-point rate heading into this season was .322. Right now it’s .508! In Milwaukee’s first five games last season, Middleton only made three three pointers. This year, he’s already drilled seven against the New York Knicks, five against the Indiana Pacers, and three a piece in the Bucks’ opener in Charlotte, and last night’s win over the Philadelphia 76ers.

With an easy stroke, long arms, and a high release, Middleton should’ve already cemented himself as one of the most feared high-volume deep threats in the NBA. Instead, Budenholzer’s offense was the key to accentuating a more valuable part of his game.

Even though Lopez gets called for a foul, it matters that Milwaukee is actively looking to free Middleton up from downtown by incorporating subtle wrinkles like the off-ball drag screen seen above.

Strictly talking personnel, the range and length that Milwaukee has accumulated over the past few years comes with a futuristic identity. It’s nice to see them finally embrace such a fashionably effective style of play to go along with it.

What The Hell Was That?

Last season, when they were the fastest team in basketball, the New Orleans Pelicans liked to race up the floor and begin a possession with a small-small side pick-and-roll, then have the screener (be it Jrue Holiday, E’Twaun Moore, Ian Clark, or whoever) slip towards the basket. It almost always resulted in a layup.

In New Orleans’s home opener against the Sacramento Kings, the Pelicans got extra tricky. As they appear to get ready for a time-out—watch Anthony Davis slowly walk towards the sideline—Holiday stands on the right wing ready to execute their signature action, then darts backdoor to catch Elfrid Payton’s bounce pass.

Bravo, Pelicans. That’s some next-level duplicity right there.

This Has Nothing To Do With Basketball But…

Erik Spoelstra definitely wore a maroon blazer during a game last week and for that he should be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame tomorrow. That is all.

Character Spotlight (Bonus)

There’s almost something vaudevillian about Vince Carter beginning his 21st season as the starting power forward in Atlanta, the garage-rock band version of an NBA franchise that’s currently in the first stage of an appropriately depressing rebuild. Carter is 41 years old and last Wednesday night he suited up as the second-oldest opening day starter in league history (shout out to The Chief).

To be clear, the Hawks didn’t sign Carter to help them win games. At the start of Atlanta’s win over the Cleveland Cavaliers, it took three minutes for Lloyd Pierce to replace Carter, who was valiantly trying to stay with Kevin Love. But the impact he should have on younger teammates is kind of cool!

“It definitely is [surreal], and he’s gotten a chance a couple times to tell us some stories,” rookie Kevin Huerter told VICE Sports. “I think a couple weeks ago was the anniversary of when he had the dunk in the Olympics over the seven-foot guy, and we watched that as a team during film and he walked us through what he was thinking, so I mean that was a cool moment.”

Huerter had just celebrated his second birthday when Carter committed that memorable murder, but even now it’s awesome to watch him hustle around the court, lopsided score be damned, to do legendary stuff like this:

Carter is more than a motivational speaker, though. He played fourth-quarter minutes in Atlanta’s comeback win against the Dallas Mavericks last night. God bless this man.

The Outlet Pass: The NBA is Back and Zach LaVine is Unstoppable published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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