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lains-reality · 9 months

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Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.”[source]

please give yourself the grace of forgetting, of being sad, of failing, of fearing. you are allowed to. all is Self. you are okay now and here.

allow yourself to look at the insecurities, shame, guilt and fears.

give yourself the chance to respond, not react.

let vanessa be. vanessa is just a person like anyone else. thinks they are born and will die. every vanessa, no matter how well off they are, is scared shitless. but you treat your vanessa so badly.

you hate it. you want it gone. you see the body and mind as a cage without a key. it hurts. you curse it and nothing changes. you try to convince it and nothing changes. you curse it more.

It is not a matter of enduring, it is a matter of you being so crude to Vanessa, and expecting so much of her when she has no power. Do you feel the same way about the homeless man on the street corner? Do you constantly chastise him in your head, blame him for his circumstances? Even if you are the kind of person to judge based on appearances, you do for a moment and move on with your life. That's because you never thought he was you so how could you feel pain on his behalf? You may do the opposite and feel bad for his situation for a bit, but you still leave the matter alone as he's none of your business and you have your own things to worry about. - post source

vanessa is doing the best it can. it sings, dances, loves! it bleeds, it shudders, it hurts. all is the wide expression of Self.

and yet you hide from the pain, from the hurt, from the thoughts, the feelings. this is not the fullness of Self.

forgive yourself. let go of the shame and guilt. stop shaming vanessa for exsiting just like any other person in the street. stop carrying all responsibilities of the world. it's already taken care of.

you breathe with no help, you shit with no help, you eat with no help, you sleep with no help. and even if you do need help, the inability to do so, happens without your help. your amazon package comes through, your sibling grows 2 cm, the sun rises and falls, the seasons pass by. all by itself. what's orchestrating it all? Self. what other reason have we given ourself the world, other than out of love?

Leave poor Vanessa alone and stop assigning her the responsibility and accountability of everything that the dream shows. The entire dream is all an expression of the Infinite Being, not hers (the ego) which she is just one more creation of. And it doesn't have to be your (the Self's/I AM's) dream anymore when you stop identifying with it. - post source

its already out of vanessa's hands. vanessa can't do anything. let that be a celebration: all is taken care of. unconditonally.

"why is it all taken care of?"

"why not!"

"but why should *i* get the world?"

"why not?"

"but-"

its already all here for you. its already as it is. what is vanessa gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?

Treat it with compassion, stop bullying it, it's not its fault you're not where you should be. You think he's in the way so you get mad, you get frustrated it's not following instructions or refuses to step aside. But the ego is not the problem, nor in the way. Your attitude toward it is the problem. Let it be, it doesn't know any better! - post source

give yourself the permission to exist as you are. give yourself permission to be as you are, right now. start asking 'did i give permission for this?' you'll find how much stuff is not even your choice. as ada said its just tolerance and endurance of the forced vanessa.

now you realise you don't have to be a forced vanessa. so you go completely the other direction and try to (forcefully) change the vanessa. you're still holding up standards, ideas & roles to yourself. the things that made you hate vanessa in the first place. just maybe, for this moment hold nothing. drop the knife.

“Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself, even awaken yourself. Let go of letting go. Stop trying to fast-forward the movie of your life. It gets so exhausting, doesn’t it, always trying to get there, chasing futures that never seem to arrive, living on second-hand promises. Instead, bow deeply to yourself as you actually are. Be here. Honour this present scene in the movie. Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your deepest longings, your fearful thoughts, are not mistakes, and they aren’t asking to be healed. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving arms of present awareness…” — Jeff Foster

#lainsreality #nondualism #non dualism #LISTEN TO THE VIDEO #i swear i'm still on break #the first quotes source = video

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dearestmui · 6 months

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Hi! It's anon, so uh this is my first time making a request so I'm sorry if it doesnt make any sense

Anyways it's gonna be muichiro x gn!reader or fem!reader(whatever you prefer) so it can be a short fic or long fic it's your choice, I haven't seen anybody request this but can you do one where muichiro and reader are in a secret relationship? But muichiro forgets no matter how many attempts reader says that the relationship should be kept a secret and at a celebration or birthday muichiro accidentally blurts out that the reader and him are dating? How would everyone react would they be shocked? Neutral? Anyways my request isn't really that interesting so I'm not expecting you to pick this! But if you do thanks<3

SECRET RELATIONSHIP

summary: how would everyone react to muichiro outing your secret relationship? cw: none just fluff and very slight angst pairing: Muichiro x reader adittional tags: manga spoiler free, muichiro before ssv. word count: 1407

When you and Muichiro started dating, you asked to keep the relationship secret. He didn't go against the idea, it's not like he was planning to tell anyone anyway. You were someone who Muichiro could never forget, however what he did forget is that your relationship was supposed to be a secret. It's not like he did care about who knew or not, it was nobody's business. But what he did care about was you, so he wanted to respect your wishes.

There were times where other people would hit on you, and in that moment Muichiro felt compelled to step in. How can people come up to you and flirt shamelessly like that? Don't they know that you're taken? Oh right.

When it was a demon slayer, he'd glare at them until they took the hint, not saying anything.

If it was a local from a village when you two are on a mission, then he'd tell them bluntly. You don't know them, so who cares. When you think he'd go too far, or risk your relationship being revealed, you'd nudge him with your elbow and glare at him. To that he replies with the softening of his features followed by a sigh.

At some point, when he was alone he started to wonder why the relationship had to be kept a secret. Should he not be able to express his love for you despite the public's opinion? He wanted demon slayers to stay away from you, and most importantly he wanted to be able to show simple gestures such as kissing your cheek. The most he could do was hold your hand in public, since you two were young no one thought much of it. For the first time(or so he thinks), he felt pure love and adoration for someone else. Is it wrong for him to want to express his innocent teenage love?

Of course, he forgot all those thoughts the next day.

There was a small celebration held by Mitsuri for her birthday, everyone she knew was invited. And god, she knew a lot of people. Muichiro would've forgot to come if it wasn't for you dragging him.

At the celebration, you wore such a cute outfit, maybe a little too cute. Muichiro felt an unknown flutter in his stomach, though he struggles to identify what he's feeling, he knows that his stomach feels tingly when he sees you. But this time it was more intense than ever. So, he subconsciously got a little too close to you — reaching to rest his hand around your waist. Which, unfortunately for him, you responded by moving away. He frowned at this.

"Muichiro, you shouldn't get too close, remember? People will find out we're dating." You whispered to him.

"....Sorry. You look pretty." He whispered back, making you blush.

Later, you and Muichiro were sitting at table with the hashira and the kamaboko squad. Everyone was having fun talking to eachother. You'd think that Muichiro would feel overwhelmed by the amount of people and loud noise, but he didn't mind it — considering the fact he finds Rengoku's loudness comforting. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation, until Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, started to ask questions about you and Muichiro.

Of course, being the Lova pillar, Mitsuri has noticed how close you two were. She was a little dense though, not realizing you two were actually in love, she was just curious about it. The conversation snapped Muichiro back to reality.

"Say, you two are really close!! Are you dating?" Mitsuri asked excitedly. The thought of you and Muichiro dating made her heart burst! Young love, so cute!!

However, you who wanted to keep your relationship a secret, was about to decline that claim until-

"Yes, we are." Muichiro muttered on instinct.

Your eyes widened and a blush crept onto your face. While Mitsuri's smile widened.

"Muichiro!" You scream whispered at him, panicking and looking around not knowing what to do.

The others looked at you in shock, well instead of Inosuke who continued eating despite being confused on why everyone went silent.

"What? Oh, right." Muichiro looked at you confused, until he remembered the he just outed your relationship to everyone.

Needless to say, everyone was shocked that Muichiro, the Hashira who basically fuctioned like an emotionless puppet was dating someone. But his colleagues were happy for him, except for Giyuu and Obanai who didn't seem to have a reaction.

Rengoku was beyond happy, he's always been concerned about the younger pillar and took it upon himself to take care of him. He loudly congratulated you both on your relationship, which of course just outed your whole relationship to everyone at the party. Shinobu kept her soft smile and clapped, thinking it was adorable and also happy for you and the young pillar. Tengen was beyond shocked, and offered to give relationship advice to his colleague. Sanemi, also barely showed a reaction. A little shocked, sure. But he also felt a little concerned. Dating as demon slayers could be really hurtful. If one of you died during a mission, then what? He knew this from experience. He didn't say anything. He tried convincing himself he didn't care, but of course, he was too kind so subconsciously he'd start looking out for the both of you more. Someone who already knew about the relationship was Gyomei, who simply let out a smile and congratulated the two of you then let out a prayer for the safety and happiness to the future of your relationship. Mitsuri, who was showing the most reaction, was squirming and jumping the whole time, as if she had been proposed to.

Someone who didn't react so positively though was Zenitsu, his eyes were filled with scorn, almost shedding tears of jealousy towards the newly outted couple. How can someone like Muichiro score before him??? He let his jealousy be known; Tanjiro who was sitting next to him had to knock him out to not make the two of you uncomfortable. Speaking of Tanjiro, he felt relieved about Muichiro finding someone he loved. Yes, he'd definitely buy you and Muichiro a congratulation gift.

If you were to be overwhelmed by everyone's reaction, Muichiro would've taken notice of this and gladly take your hand then take you away to a quieter place. Though the people at the table would be confused seeing Muichiro drag you away.

As for the aftermath, Muichiro was so used to not showing any affection in public that he forgot that your relationship is NOT secret anymore... But, he definitely felt more comfortable to be able to be affectionate towards you.

Do not repost

#muichiro x reader #muichiro tokito #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu muichiro #demon slayer #kny #kny x reader #demon slayer muichiro #muichiro x y/n #muichiro x you #fluff #muichiro fluff #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x gender neutral reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x you

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qqueenofhades · 8 months

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Once you get offline, Biden’s doing ok with everyone but Republicans and racists. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty big voting bloc, but it should be manageable. More unfortunately, Harris is. Not popular. With anyone. Like, we’re talking Dan “To not have a mind is being very wasteful” Quayle levels of dissing. You can blame some of it on sexism and racism, but enough women and people of color have jumped on the “Kamala’s letting The Team down” bandwagon that there’s got to be more to it than this. Any thoughts?

Yeah, uh, I don't think that's fair OR accurate, and deserves quite a bit more reflection and pushback than is implied here (since your question frames it as thinking there MUST be something wrong with her and invites me to expand on it). First off, I am not comfortable comparing the first female vice president (AND female VP of color) to empty suit Dan Quayle, and especially when there's such a disparity in their background, social perception, and accomplishments, not to mention their role in the administration. So:

"You can blame some of it on sexism and racism, but -- " Okay, but how much? Are we actually assigning a weight to that and taking it into consideration, or hand-waving it aside in search of the "real" cause? Online Leftists are already disposed to irrationally dislike Kamala because of the "she's a cop!!!" business that went around during the primaries, which was likewise inaccurate and misleading, but showed how women, especially women of color, are often treated in white leftist spaces (including by leftist-identifying women). That very much WAS down to sexism, racism, and perceiving her as "shrill" or "there's just something I don't like about her." Okay, what is that? WHAT is the thing you don't like about her? Would you notice it in a male politician? Would you critique it in a male politician? If the answer is any part unclear, this needs more work and is in fact reflective of that dynamic, whether or not anyone is aware of it or thinks that's the reason why.

No, seriously. If someone professes that they "just don't like" Kamala or "there's something about her that rubs me the wrong way" or whatever else, my immediate next question would be "Why? What don't you like about her?" And keep drilling down through whatever excuses about "unlikeability" or "personality" or whatever else is offered. If this can be persuasively articulated in a way that a) exposes a substantive policy reason, b) can be differentiated from what any male vice president or other person in her position would do or what should be expected of them, and c) isn't just about "offputting vibes," then sure, we can have a discussion about that. Otherwise, yeah. That's not convincing me that it's anything other than the constant, long-running, ever-present discomfort with seeing a powerful and accomplished woman of color, who started her career prosecuting sex criminals, was the first Black woman in the Senate, and is now the first female vice president, actually state her issues and own her role.

"Enough women and people of color have jumped on the 'Kamala Is Letting the Team Down' bandwagon that there must be -- " Really? Must there? First of all, it's damn near impossible to find any Online Leftist who's willing to give Biden accurate credit for his accomplishments -- see the "Biden is bad and uninspiring and anti-trans but we should I guess vote for him anyway" rhetoric which is the closest they can possibly get to acknowledging it. (None of which is actually true!) When that's the case with the top of the ticket, it's orders of magnitude easier to project that irrational dislike and distortion onto "shrill" or "dislikable" Kamala. So who are these "women and people of color" who don't like Kamala? Are they in the room with us right now? Do they actually care about/vote for the Democrats, support their policy accomplishments, and realistically understand the progress that's been made and what remains to be done, or do they want to use Kamala as yet another convenient stick to beat the Democrats (since they won't give them accurate credit to start with?)

Even if this was true, sexism and racism somehow magically wasn't a factor (which uh, it is not) and Kamala had some terrible personality defect that was unique to her and her alone and not any of the far worse vice presidents there have been in the last 20 years alone: what is this kind of question intended to accomplish? Are we supposed to fear that by voting for Biden, we might vote for Kamala as well? Well, she was on the ticket last time too, and they won the election. Don't know what else to tell you.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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sailorblossoms · 3 months

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I keep finding new ways to say "Simon's romantic jealousy is always centered exclusively on Baz, he only cares about him in that way" (last few have been with comments and tags reminding me of lines and scenes so this is is a team effort)

When Simon is faced with the possibility of Agatha wanting someone else, he doesn't care at all. It's "not his job to judge Agatha," his job is just "to be his boyfriend" which is absolutely Simon revealing that he feels like dating her is a job he's just supposed to do. Like it's a chore – most of us don't like doing chores! They're tiring and tedious! ("I waited until Agatha gave up on me" is indicative of "I felt like I wanted out, but I didn't want to be the one ending it, so I waited until she ended it" which also implies you're waiting for it to end) (I'm saying Simon wanted to break up, if that's not clear, even if he's not identifying that, even if he wants things – like home and security – that make it harder to go through with it). I mean, he's essentially saying "if Agatha wants to cheat on me that's none of my business." He is uninterested in talking through anything with her. He's immediately ready to move on (except in situations when he sees her as competition).

With Baz? He can't let it go. Baz is practically admitting he's a vampire and that Agatha caught him doing a little vampirism, and Simon doesn't hear it because he can't move past "Did you have to hold her hands???" They don't have a relationship yet – Simon has yet to figure out he wants Baz like that. What Baz does in this area of his life shouldn't be his business at that point, but Simon wants to make it his business. If Simon catches Baz in a potentially romantic situation with someone else, he wants Baz to explain himself. He can't move on.

Penny is like "Don't you want to know why your girlfriend was snogging your sworn nemesis?" or something, and Simon doesn't give a fuck about the idea of Agatha wanting to kiss someone else. He doesn't even register it. Instead, he focuses on Baz: "I didn't swear any oath" or something, as if Penny is exaggerating about how serious that "nemesis" business is. (Get this: even if Simon keeps telling you Baz is supposed to be his nemesis, the moment someone else says it, he resists it. Just like how he fights the idea of anyone knowing Baz better than him [wanting to be close] he fights the idea of Baz being seriously an enemy [resisting being apart] which already tells you he doesn't truly want to fight Baz – he's looking for other things when he picks up fights with him – hence why it takes him a nanosecond to admit "I like rolling around kissing as boyfriends so much better than fighting, let's just do that")

When he thinks Baz is going to be alone with someone who he believes is into Baz, someone he mistakenly Baz wants to kiss? he sure as fuck can't move on from that either. He's running after the car, infiltrating the apartment, and attacking the other guy the moment he gets in Baz's personal space.

#simon snow #snowbaz #baz pitch #carry on #simon snow trilogy #baz grimm pitch #baz x simon #awtwb #wayward son

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zoeykallus · 6 months

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Hi!!

Just found your blog and I love it!!

Could I get some headcanons of the 501st standing up for/protecting their ftm trans jedi?

Aloha!

I'm late, I know 😅 Sorry! Better later than never, I guess 😬 (I actually hate that phrase)

You should know, I have no experience whatsoever about this topic, at all, but I'll try my best to not be an ignorant idiot 😅 Please let me know if I failed 🙈

Let me see what I can do for you 😊

Rex/Fives/Hardcase/Echo/Jesse/Heavy/Kix x FTM Trans Jedi!Reader HCs - Who You Really Are

Warnings: Bullying/Hurt/Comfort

________________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

________________

>Master List<

Rex

He has never questioned who you are or how you identify yourself. You are his general, and that takes precedence over everything else for Rex. He doesn't allow himself an opinion on the subject, he's far too disciplined and loyal for that. Apart from that, he thinks it's none of his business, it's nobody's business but your own. However, that doesn't mean he doesn't have an opinion about other people's behavior towards you. On the contrary. Rex has a strong sense of justice and decency. You are sitting at dinner when you hear someone muttering. Rex is sitting across from you at the cantina. Every now and then you eat together there, among other things, to discuss missions and the like. "Is the general a woman or a man now?" one of the clones mumbles to his colleagues. "Was a woman, is now a man or wants to be one," says another. The murmuring continues, and you sigh softly, your shoulders tensing, but you decided not to let on. Rex looks up from his plate, glances at you, then past you to the more or less whispering clones. His gaze meets with one of the soldiers. "How about you shut up and worry about things that really concern you?" he growls, his voice rough and impatient.

"Sorry Captain!" Another says, "We can talk about whatever we want here." Rex clutches his spoon, so tightly it bends in his grip. "But not about our general. Show some respect, soldiers! Eat now and shut up, or I'll make you eat your own feet." You take a deep breath and have to grin as it suddenly gets quiet behind you. Rex threats are never taken lightly. Rex changes the subject to the upcoming mission and talks to you as if nothing has happened. You are grateful for his calm, decency and respect.

Echo

If you ask him, he would prefer to stay out of it completely. It's none of his business, Echo thinks to himself. And he keeps to it. He doesn't ask prying questions, he doesn't question his general, not at all. Echo is as disciplined, loyal and dutiful as ever. For him, basically nothing has changed, and he likes to say that to other soldiers who comment or discuss your transformation behind your back. "Nothing has changed, this is still our general, just as capable and righteous as before. Just as reliable as before. So I don't see any point in why we should discuss any motives or question our general." You can rely on Echo. He is a good advisor, an excellent soldier, very decent and dutiful. With him by your side, you don't have to worry about your back. Echo respects you because he knows how reliable you are. Everything else on the surface may be whatever. The only thing that matters to him is that you are still a good general, Echo doesn't have much patience with soldiers or people who question that because of your transformation, because one has nothing to do with the other.

Fives

You'll have to forgive his curiosity, but he asks you a lot of questions when he first finds out. Fives is as respectful as possible, though. As curious as he is, he doesn't forget who you are, his general. Fives is curious, lively, even impulsive at times. But he's also smart and a disciplined soldier; he didn't become an ARC soldier for nothing. Of course, he notices that not all of his brothers have the same respect or understanding, to behave decently enough towards you. In front of these brothers, he very publicly stands up for you, speaks highly of you as a general.

And now and then he secretly plays a trick on one or the other brother, he doesn't want to publicly fight and act like a wildling, but he thinks there has to be punishment. So he does it the most fun way he knows, with pranks. Salted caf, pink dye in shampoo, shrunk blacks and glued helmets are just a few things his not so respectful brothers have to endure. He also doesn't mince words in front of strangers or even other Jedi, should he have the feeling that they behave inappropriately towards you. He is fascinated by you, by your courage, your determination. Fives admires what you do, your transformation requires a lot of strength, courage and stamina, judging by how outsiders often deal with it.

"You're probably the bravest general the 501st has ever had". You raise your eyebrows and ask, "Braver than Skywalker?" Fives grins, "Skywalker is daring, sure, but this is a much deeper kind of courage and determination. This is more than just superficial courage." "High praise," you say with a small smirk. "Well deserved praise, General"

Hardcase

"Can't blame you, much more fun being a man," Hardcase says with a shrug. He smiles wryly. A little joke on the side. Basically, he doesn't care. You earned his respect as the person you are, not by your gender. Someone who questions that should prepare themselves. Hardcase may be a wild joker sometimes, but he can't take a joke when people disrespect you. By now, word has gotten around that he's looking out for you, in a way. Sometimes a sharp look from him is enough to silence whispering, gossiping voices immediately. He also enlists some of his other brothers to join the "Respect the General" movement. It's nothing official, but word spreads like wildfire. Soon you're the talk of the town because you have the deep, devoted respect of the men of the 501st. Hardcase has a hard shell, he's often wild and impetuous, likes to run headlong into the wall. But he is anything but stupid, and he has his heart in the right place. You can rely on him.

Jesse

He's a joker and you know it. You've joked with each other from time to time, supervisor or not. You are not too strict with him, you know all the men by now, some of them have their peculiarities, Jesse is no exception. You know you can always rely on him, that's why you let him get away with a lot. "I knew you were jealous of me. Do you really have to copy everything I do?" is his first reaction. But he smirks, clears his throat and apologizes shortly after. Jesse means absolutely no disrespect. In fact, he's happy for you, he's aware that the whole thing isn't easy for you, he admires your courage and determination, and he tells you that in private. "I'm happy for you, General." Anyone who treats you disrespectfully or questions you has quickly fucked up with Jesse. As goofy as he can be at times, he can also get serious. It's not that easy to earn Jesse's respect. "You better watch what you say, that's our general you're talking about." There have been some fights in the cafeteria, but Jesse denies it every time someone asks if it had to do with you. But you know that he likes to swing his fists or a food tray when someone says something cheeky about you.

Heavy

"Welcome to the boys club," he says dryly. Not much has changed for Heavy. You're the general, still. He trusted your judgment before, and he will now. Why shouldn't he? He sees it quite rationally. He can't really understand the people who whisper or even openly question your competence. "How can we trust a general who has changed themselves so much, someone who has changed their basic persona?" Heavy hears this sentence from a conversation between a couple of shinies and rolls his eyes. "What does it matter? It's a personal decision, a personal change, and it has nothing to do with qualifications. Our general has been carrying this around for a long time; it doesn't suddenly happen overnight. Nevertheless, the leadership has never suffered from it, we have always been able to trust the general. Nothing has changed in that regard. You better take care of your training, Shinies." It's not uncommon for Heavy to speak up for you. He believes in you, he trusts your leadership. Heavy's loyalty does not waver, ever. As long as he feels his trust is in good hands with you, he will always have your back.

Kix

From a medical point of view, he is quite curious and also fascinated. But he would never go so far as to ask you personal questions, he has too much respect for you, and he knows that is not appropriate in your professional relationship. "Hey Kix. What's the deal with our general, anyway?" Kix turns around and raises an eyebrow. He's heard many a dumb question regarding you and is prepared to hear another. Somehow, many of his brothers seem to think that just because he's a Medic, he should know everything about you and your transformation. "What exactly do you mean?" The soldier throws his arms in the air as if Kix should have already guessed the question. "Well, is the general male or female now?" "Male," Kix says curtly. "But not really, right?" Kix grumbles, "The General identifies as a male, so he's a male. What's so complicated about that?"

"What about anatomy?" "That's something that's none of your business. I don't think it's something you should worry about," Kix says reprovingly, "This is about your general, not an acquaintance from a bar, even if they were, it wouldn't necessarily concern you." There have indeed been stupider and even more inappropriate questions than this, but Kix always meets these questions with rigor and decorum. Whether you are present or being talked about in your absence, Kix does not hold back when it comes to taking sides. You are still his general, and not without reason. You are capable and a good leader. Kix, as well as many others, are always behind you, and will never allow you to be disrespected.

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

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@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

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star-sparkler · 9 months

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I know I ask a lot about August but I’d actually like ask about your aroace donnie hc. Like how he figured that out about himself and all that. Honestly a lot of people I see with that headcanon for him just hc that because that interpret him as mean and unemotional which is wrong for just all kinds of reasons. But you always portray the kind and loving side of him. That boy loves with his whole heart and its just so refreshing to see. I was also wondering if you have headcanons for the rest of the main cast.

OOOOHHHHHOOHOOHOO YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD: AROACE INFO-DUMP COMBINED WITH DONNIE FIXATION. A BOLD MOVE. BUCKLE IN, DUDE. /positive Aroace Donnie is a REALLY special headcanon for me. Part of that is identifying as aroace myself and getting enjoyment from portraying that in a favorite character, but most of it is just genuinely getting the vibes from Donnie. Because being aroace doesn't necessarily mean lacking love altogether, or being incapable of loving, it's defined by the lacking of the ATTRACTION part. There's usually theoretical love to give but no target to hit with it. The way you talk about it gives me the sense you know that already though ;w; 💓 But what a bummer to think people equate being aroace with being unemotional. Some of the kindest and most loving people I know are aro/ace. ;-; </3

As for Donnie figuring himself out, I imagine he took it all from a very logical standpoint. It's one thing to crush on a fictional character or the concept of someone and another thing entirely to feel that way about a real individual in a non-fictional scenario. Even if he could find people who, by all accounts, were his 'type', logic would get in the way of taking action. "Our interests are too different" "I'm not THEIR type" "I'm not ready to commit" "I don't like this and that about them so it wouldn't work" "Eh, the, quote 'spark' unquote, isn't there." "I am simply too mature to be hung up on this romance nonsense" "I just haven't met the right person yet" "I just don't feel like I need a partner right now" "why is everyone so obsessed with this?" "Sex and romance sells, that's why it's pushed in media, not because people are ACTUALLY /THAT/ possessed by it. That would be lunacy." "I'm too busy to devote energy and time to dating right now" "There are more important things" "I don't need another person to feel whole - that's ridiculous - I'm whole on my own" - just a growing list of cerebral excuses to put the whole romance thing off until "later" again and again, or to explain away why he hasn't "found" love yet. None of the stories he told himself were UNtrue so he carries on without realizing the drive that everyone else seems to feel isn't within him, because he's come up with a million reasons WHY he wouldn't feel it yet to begin with. He doesn't realize other people DO still feel romantically and sexually about others DESPITE being 'busy' or 'mature' or not being the other person's type. He's baffled to discover people feel compelled to date or be intimate with people they don't even know. Based on what? Appearance? A vibe? Simply because they're there? It's illogical. It's maddening. What is WRONG with people? Until he steps back and realizes he's the outlier. It's not unusual that others are obsessed with love, it's unusual that he ISN'T. But he's had crushes before, hasn't he? Atomic Lass? A fictional character. What about real people? Well, yes, he HAD crushed on someone in the past but, when he REALLY thought about it, he didn't actually want to date or be intimate with them, he just liked spending time with them and wanted to be important/special to them. He wasn't Attracted with a capital A. He also didn't have the word for a squish at the time. Alright well let's test this another way. Who would he WANT to actually date? To kiss and devote himself to that he knows? SURELY there must be someone.......There's no one. He SUPPOSES if he HAD to choose then XYZ is...passable, but he still doesn't FEEL attracted to them. The excuses from before come back. Everyone keeps saying the right person will come around. The more he hears it, the more it stings that he hasn’t found this right person but maybe he really just hasn't met them yet. But not meeting "the right person" doesn't change the fact that, across the course of his entire life thus far, there has Never been a person he desired intimacy with specifically. After a great deal of rumination, Donnie realizes his excuses aren't excuses, they're his reality. There are no people in his life he desires. There are no celebrities he desires. There are no randoms on the street or acquaintances he desires. No interest in flings or daydreaming about a friend or ogling a body with intent. Donnie doesn't feel desire for anyone. It's a lonely feeling. But Donnie's smart and capable. His excuses don't have to be excuses, they can just be, well, facts. That doesn't mean he can’t carry on though and, if the right opportunity arises, find his own way of loving and being loved despite his current reality. If anyone can do that, Donatello Hamato can. (Side note: I love the idea of Donnie being so roadblocked by his excuse that he never bothers with or gets around to dating even into adulthood. Not dating does not devalue the truth of your personal identity).

Ultimately however: Donnie scrolling through the internet as a teen, researching his bros' romantic leans to better understand how to support them, and having a "THAT'S A REAL THING?? THERE'S A WORD FOR IT????" when he first stumbles across info on the aro/ace label. “Alright yeah, that tracks. 😑”

I honestly not-so-secretly headcanon every TMNT turtle from every iteration as some variant under the aroace umbrella. x'D It's partly a comfort choice but more so it’s because of the vibes I get from them. Even when they're shown desiring someone in canon it's felt forced or out of character somehow to me. Of course that doesn’t mean they can’t be in relationships or that I don’t enjoy the ones that are handled well! They just don’t come across fully allo to me. As for Rise specifically! 👀✨ 💙 Leo I tag as grayace/greyromantic bi. That boy ain't never been straight a day in his life. ❤️ Raph feels super classic aroace straight. 🧡 Mikey pan demisexual/alloromantic (or demiromantic?). 💜 Donnie asexual demiromantic. I think if he had the opportunity to really bond with the right person, it could spark something in him the way a stranger or acquaintance would not. Knowledge unlocking love feels VERY Donald A Tello to me.

ANYWAY. This got majorly long and I’ve been picking at it on and off for a few days. Thank you for appreciating how I interpret Donnie! I always hope I’m doing it in a way that feels believable to his canon. ;w;💓

#enbytello #aroace Donnie #Papatello

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sailorsenshishitposter · 2 months

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Until it finds my dreams have disappeared

I've been debating about whether or not to post this for a while. Mostly because I use my tumblr to post dumb stuff or act as a distraction from stress. I'm getting kind of tired with people though. This isn't something exclusive to the Metal Gear franchise (far from it) but it's something I've noticed happening quite frequently. Metal Gear has many characters with horrible backgrounds that suffer from PTSD/CPTSD and many mental health issues. I can't help but notice that there's a trend in the younger crowd (isn't mgs exclusive) that whenever there's a heavily traumatized character (I've only seen it happen with male characters but I assume the opposite does happen) that they considere attractive, they will simp for them and post things unironically.

It's like they see someone who they think is attractive and start actually going "NO I CAN FIX THEM! THEY'RE JUST SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS". Like it's fine to make jokes but when you see posts that resemble those weird celebrity fan pages bordering on obsession I think it's time to take a step back. I get some people identify with characters which is fine but they'll completely ignore said characters actions and be like "sure they killed all those people but I'd totally let them cut me up if I had the chance to smash" when the person in question isn't even real. Or there will be a character that's traumatized so badly that they think that if you just cuddle a person like that and baby them then you can fix them. I guess I'm mostly just mad because I feel like usually these are young kids who still have a chance for a good life but they're very ignorant about how people affected by trauma can be.

It's not some cute, quirky thing. It changes your whole world and your beliefs, especially when it starts in childhood. You can technically put this for any character that meets the criteria but personally for me I would have to choose Monsoon from Metal Gear Rising. He grew up with no choice but to kill to survive and witnessed the Cambodian genocide along with working for the mafia and nearly dying from that. I don't really care if someone has a crush on a fictional character, personally that's none of my business. What I'm tired of is seeing frequent posts that range from "uwu my soft cinnamon roll baby" to all the graphic smut on here depicting tortue.

I can't speak for everyone but personally I find it demeaning when being coddled by others. Yes, I went through things but please don't treat me like a child. It feels insulting. I also have no problems with BDSM but I can only take seeing so many posts that basically allude to someone drawing a character about to be raped for their own personal enjoyment. It's especially bad when people make stuff of that for characters who have already been held hostage or enslaved (I'm looking at Vergil x Mundus shippers specifically).

Trauma is not something that you can help someone overcome. It consumes them and becomes your entire world regardless of how it came to be. In fact trauma is often passed down through genes. Though you may not have someone else's memories you will have the same reactions to traumatic situations that those before you did or your body will adapt to that kind of environment. Hypervigilance can be passed down through epigenic changes in DNA.

This is where things get personal for me. Though I've never met them, I know I come down from genocide survivors. I'm either third or fourth generation. I'm not exactly sure what they saw but from what I've read it was common to see various forms of torture. One method was to stick babies in the sand and then trample over their heads with horses... Based on the family I could find and knowing their location, they must have survived the death marches and I'm unsure if they were at the final killing fields or not. That's not even mentioning everything they had being taken away from them and seeing everyone they knew suffer horrible fates. To this day bone fragments will still rise from the ground, the bodies of the dead never having been put properly to rest.

I'm unable to travel there but if I could, I couldn't help but feel like I'm being swallowed by death. Why am I here but so many perished. Then on to my father. I don't know much about him and he passed away when I was a child. All I really know about his background was that he came from a wealthy family. It was common for his friends families to have guards outside their children's bedroom doors. We lived in a western country where it was "safe" (he wasnt originally from where I Iive) but I remember he wouldn't sleep at night and would seem like he was looking for something during the day. Sometimes he just stared like he was waiting for something to happen but nothing ever came. I don't want to say that he was an intentionally cruel person, just that I don't think he had the capabilities to act like a normal human being. I was raised with a mindset of being better than others. That is to say that I wasn't supposed to have weakness. It makes sense looking back. He survived having his body messed up and I was told he survived assisnation attemps (corruption is huge down there so it's not like police could do anything). Nothing was said after so I assumed he killed whoever was after him before they could kill him. Pretty much a kill or be killed mindset.

Growing up I realized he was hard on us not to hurt us but because he thought it would make things easier for us in the future. I know it must have been even worse for him if he thought that this was being kind. Anyway he passed away when I was a child and long story short but for whatever reason my family couldn't get in contact with us so I never received my inheritance but that's for the best. I don't know how well I would have handled it at nine if I knew there was a possibility of being kidnapped or killed for the money or because someone had a grudge against my father.

I guess I always knew I was different but his death really solidified that. I was used to having to be tougher but it seems like my older sister and mother couldn't handle it. They already cried one time when we couldn't see him (which was often) and once the news broke I just remember everyone sobbing and screaming in agony. I didn't feel anything though. I realize now that it was dissociation but no tears would fall and I understood what was happening but it felt like I couldn't emotionally process it. At some point I have no memories up until a certain point. Whenever I have some sort of traumatic situation happen I suffer from dissociative amnesia. I'm not sure for how long, I just know that there are large gaps in my memory.

Right before my memories vanished I can remember not wanting to exist anymore. The day after I was surrounded by all the sobbing and knew that I couldn't let myself die. If I did I would just be trying to escape from my pain and would place it on my family. So for the last two decades I haven't really had a dream or anything to look forward to. I've just had a goal of trying not to die. There are many more traumatic things that followed which I won't get into but I dislike telling people my life story since they just give me looks of pity or seem like they want to ask how I haven't killed myself yet.

Unfortunately the kill or be killed mindset has been passed on. While I've never harmed anyone, I have recovered memories involving someone I trusted keeping me against my will and unspeakable things happening many times. I've had frequent nightmares since then and didn't know that my situation wasn't normal. By the time I was a teenager I found out that I didnt have to live my life in fear and allow abuse to keep happening. I've decided since then that I'll do whatever I can should I be faced with a similar situation in the future. I can only fight back to stop such a thing from happening again. It will most likely never occur again but it still affects my life everyday. I can't go out in public without someone I trust and even then I still scan the whole area and look for an escape route. I shouldn't have to feel like everyone around me is a possible threat to my safety and freedom.

I don't think people realize just how calming the rain can actually be. Not just the light stuff but heavy rain. It acts as a soothing white noise that drowns out your thoughts and feeling it hit your body also distracts you. I won't say when since it could reveal my location but within the last few years I was outside during a very bad storm that had frequent wet microbursts. It destroyed all the trees in the area and I almost died but I felt oddly calm. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There was so much wind and rain that it resembled blowing snow and there was so much water hitting the ground that it would form waves that would zoom so fast and then crash only to repeat the process over and over.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm annoyed by all the sexualization of people with mental health issues. With the way some people act towards characters that don't exist, it worries me how they could treat real people going through similar situations. And on the other hand please see trauma survivors as real people. Many of us had to survive on our own and you thinking someone being terrified is just a shy/cute trait that makes them adorable is infuriating. I can't tell you how much I hate the latter. I'm so sick of people thinking that I need someone to spoil me with affection and protect me to the point where I feel like I'm being treated as a baby. It just makes me feel more weak and pathetic.

#kurapika #kurapica #nelo angelo #monsoon mgr #vent #tw genocide #tw trauma #metal gear solid #mgs #metal gear rising #metal gear rising revengeance #I feel like some of you didn't listen to the lyrics of the stains of time #ptsd #complex ptsd #tw ptsd #childhood trauma #abuse survivor #mgrr #mgr

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a-dragons-journal · 1 year

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Hi, I'm kinda paranoid about this because I know kff are Bad, but I'm pretty sure my kintypes (Velociraptor and alien) are involuntary, but I'm terrified that they secretly aren't and I'm a kff without knowing and I'm harming the otherkin community without knowing. Is this possible, or have I misunderstood the issue?

Short answer: no. The literal meaning of KFF, "kin-for-fun," is calling something "kinning" when you explicitly do not identify as the thing and are just "doing it for fun" (whether "it" be roleplay or faceclaiming or whatever - as long as it's not identification). It's in the literal name of the thing - "kinning for (the purpose of having) fun." If you identify as the thing in question, it by definition cannot be KFF, no matter what else is going on.

Long answer: I want it to be clear that I mean all of this frustration in an "I am so sorry this is happening to you" way, not a "you are in any way at fault for this" way, but: this is perhaps the single worst side effect of the whole KFF debacle, and I hate it, because I genuinely don't know how to fix it when I and most people I see arguing about this are already making every effort to be as clear as possible that this is not what we're talking about and we are still chronically misunderstood, and I cannot figure out how to make it any clearer because it's literally in the name of the thing. It's why we stopped using the word "kinnie" and started using "kin-for-fun," and it's STILL misunderstood.

Being unclear on whether something is really an identity or not is not KFF (otherwise literally everyone who's questioning would be).

Not being sure how voluntary or involuntary a given identity is does not make it KFF.

Identifying as something voluntarily and calling it 'kin does not make you KFF (even if you want to argue that it's not proper to call it 'kin and it should only ever be called 'linking instead, which at this point I disagree with, it's still not KFF).

Having fun with being 'kin and not taking it super seriously a lot of the time does not make you KFF.

Identifying as something "weird" or in a "weird" way - whatever that means - does not make you KFF.

If you understand the meaning of the word, and you find that it fits you, it is none of my business to tell you not to use it. The only time it becomes remotely my business is when someone clearly is working off of misinformation to begin with - ie, "oh, it just means relating to something, I don't ACTUALLY think I'm a wolf lol," which is traceably misinformation stemming from misunderstandings.

#otherkin #kin for fun #rani talks #forgive me if i sound a little frustrated #again the frustration is in no way aimed at you anon #but it's a little exhausting to have to repeat this over and over #and i can't tell if it's bc it's actually unclear or bc there's a game of internet telephone happening or bc people who are pushing -#- for the acceptance of kff as ''''valid kinning'''' are deliberately misrepresenting us to make us sound like asshole gatekeepers #or bc of the long history of actual gatekeeping in the community that leads to conflicting messages maybe. idk.#or fuck it maybe there actually ARE people out there pushing this in a significant way #fuck knows i haven't seen 'em but i'm not god. they could be out there #that's not true. i've seen em. i've seen like three of them. it's not a significant number.#it does not correlate to the number of asks along the lines of this one that i get #asked and answered #anonymous

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plaguedocboi · 2 years

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But aren’t you all about encouraging people to boycott Harry Potter due to JKR being a tool? So many authors are/were “problematic.”

There’s a difference between supporting an author who is causing real, tangible harm to people in the real world and avoiding any “problematic” media. Giving money to JKR gives her more power to lobby for idiotic laws and giving her attention allows her hateful platform to grow. Her books and fandom have become a calling card for bigots to identify other bigots with. That’s why we should be boycotting it. If you want to pirate Harry Potter and read it without engaging in the terf-infested fandom, that’s none of my business.

Distancing yourself from authors who are bad people and have toxic fandoms is much, much different from morally condemning any and all “problematic” media. Harry Potter also contains plenty of problematic stuff, like all the happy little slaves and wizard Nazi incel redemption arc (to name a few). But if you want to read it anyway, that doesn’t make you a bad person. You should read things with problematic elements because it helps you read things critically, and say “this piece of media has flaws and I recognize those flaws, but I can enjoy it anyway, because every piece of media has flaws and in this case I’m able to overlook them and still like the story.” Those flaws should be discussed, and examined, and taken apart to identify why they were included and if it’s an intentional storytelling choice or simply ignorance or outright bigotry on the author’s part. They should not just result in the media being “cancelled”.

Everyone has a different tolerance for how much “problematic” content something can have before it makes it unenjoyable. A lot of the stuff in Harry Potter makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to read it. But someone else might read it and like it despite recognizing and examining those flaws, and that doesn’t make them any morally worse than me. My favorite series has plenty of flaws but I can still enjoy it and that doesn’t make me an evil person. Encouraging purism in media consumption just makes everyone miserable because there is no unproblematic piece of media. Fandom criticism should not begin and end with “it’s problematic so we shouldn’t consume it.”

#asks #ask to tag

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stardew-obsessed-ora · 8 months

Text

I've been really busy, so I haven't been able to write anything I've wanted to in the past little bit. Regardless, I'd really like to expand on the concept of Trans Morris and my HCs revolving around him. They've been sitting in my brain for a while, and I'd love to share them with the audience.

Word Count: 1.5k! CW/TW: uhhhh not sure what to put here but Has themes of self doubt, dysphoria, and less upbeat societal stuff around the beginning OH ALSO UNSAFE BINDING IS BRIEFLY MENTIONED.

୨﹒Trans Morris HCs

︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶♡︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

- I see Morris as a Trans guy who experiences dysphoria. (He/Him) - I imagine he first realized he didn't align with his agab as a young child. He realized he had more of a connection toward masculinity and toward other boys, but it never really clicked until he was older. All he knew was that he didn't like wearing anything overly feminine, and that he preferred to wear his hair up to make it look short. I imagine as a kid he’d pitch an utter fit being forced to wear any kind of dress, but it was just brushed off as him being a defiant kid. - Its not that his parents wouldn’t have been supportive, they just didn’t understand what his issue was, and were left even more confused when kid him tried to explain it. - He went through his teen years knowing something was off but never quite understanding what it was. There weren’t answers for him in any of the books he looked through, nor were there answers around him. It was isolating. It felt right being mistaken for a guy when his hair was up, and it felt mortifying when people corrected themselves. But it shouldn’t have. Why did it feel like that? - He was raised entirely oblivious to LGBTQ+ identities. After all, he was raised sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. Identifying as anything within the community was still seen as a taboo, so to say. He had heard about it in passing, and even heard about it in a somewhat positive light from a few people, but was too nervous to look into it himself. For every positive thing he heard, there were dozens of negative things. I heavily HC this man as having been bullied. It was terrifying to him. He was terrified of the possibility of being something that wouldn’t be accepted. Of something which was such a large part of other peoples’ existence being something that caused his more turmoil. A part of him felt like he was just looking for attention, and the other part felt like it’d be a dead end and that he’d end up worse off than he already was. He’d likely look into it too much and mislabel himself. Self doubt! Confusion! Imposter Syndrome! - Sometime in his teens he started feeling horrible dysphoria and ended up giving himself one of those choppy botched haircuts on numerous occasions. - Dysphoria hoodies were practically an everyday outfit. If anyone asked, he’d just tell them that hoodies and sweatpants were comfier to be in. - He fell victim to the bandage binding trap. He wanted to try to use anything to hide his chest, and so, he tried to bandage bind. Obviously after a bit of trial and error he realized this was an outright horrible idea and stopped bothering, resorting right back to the hoodie grind. - He started fully transitioning sometime when he was in his 20s. - He had absolutely no idea what the fuck being trans was, nor what how he felt was considered. He was nervous over bringing up how he felt, as it seemed entirely alien. He felt like it wasn't worth bringing up to anyone, and that it was in his head, really. If his parents didn’t know what he was talking about, if none of his peers understood, then clearly the issue was him. Right? He didn't know what transness was until he caught a conversation from a coworker within his department about it and realized their experiences and emotions aligned with his.

- Bro was standing there in his Joja apron thingy like :O.

- He didn’t confront them about it or anything, but knowing someone else felt similar to how he did was enlightening. It felt like there might’ve been people out there who understood his experiences, and that he wasn’t alone. There were people like him, and they were thriving.

- Eventually he’s able to find more information and resources pertaining to his feelings and he looks into LGBTQ+ identities as a whole. This is when he’s finally able to seek gender affirming care for himself, and also be able to better understand himself as a whole.

- The day this man started binding a weight was seemingly lifted off of his shoulder. It was more difficult for him to find a binder at first due to his size, but when he did… He stared at himself in the mirror for a solid 10 minutes in disbelief. It was his first ever experience with gender euphoria, and he could have cried on the spot.

- Coming out to his parents was another weight off of his shoulders. Well- after the long-winded explanation he had to give. His parents weren’t unsupportive, but they were entirely clueless like he was. It took a lot of examples and carefully expanding on concepts for them to finally start wrapping their head around his identity. They’re still a bit confused, but they’ve got the spirit!

- He actually let his mom help him with figuring out his preferred name! His dad rushed in to give his own input and ultimately they decided on his current name as one he liked :3

- Pre-T his voice was lower on the register, but after taking testosterone his voice noticeably changed. He didn’t have to force a lower voice when speaking anymore. Of course, he did end up making it a habit to force a higher voice around people he didn’t quite trust anymore. At least until it was difficult to.

- Adjusting to testosterone injections was… not fun! I don’t headcanon he necessarily has a fear of needles, but he does hesitate every fucking time he gives himself a shot if there isn’t a distraction around for him to focus on. - bro has definitely done his T shot in a dingy ass joja restroom before

- I personally headcanon that even as a lower ranking Joja Employee he didn’t have much of anyone to speak to, so there wasn’t really anyone for him to come out to aside from his parents.

- He worked overtime constantly so that he could eventually afford top surgery.

- Post OP was even better than he could’ve imagined. After getting over the soreness of the procedure and resting for as many days as he could before the Joja demons wrangled him back into work, he stared at himself in the mirror and just grinned. Seeing himself the way he had always wanted to look was everything he could’ve dreamed of and more. He felt sheer gender euphoria and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was still sore as hell from surgery he would’ve probably pranced around.

- He was able to walk around his house with a shirt off more often, if not, almost all the time during the hotter seasons.

- Over the years I imagine he grew into his identity more and came to be really proud of who he is, and what he’s been through. Though, he still prefers only bringing his identity up to people he can trust. He’s still skittish over the thought of being chastised by others and still worries about the possibility of being outed to someone he can’t trust. Hate him for being a corporate drone, don’t hate him for who he is!

- He still experiences dysphoria, but it isn’t even remotely as bad as it was in his younger years. He can still be found in blanket-nests on the off day though, and he’s definitely snuck into a hoodie after work on numerous occasions. Why doesn't he wear a hoodie during work hours, you may ask? He's a FORMAL man who craves FORMALITY and STYLE. Removing his suit on work hours would be like removing a part of his soul, it'd be embarrassing stepping out and being seen as so informal for once.

- He looks at his surgery scars fondly, thinking of how far he’s come and how much farther he’ll inevitably come. - Coming out to any friend he makes is ultimately nerve-wracking for him, but he always says it with such a prideful, soft smile. - Despite being more discreet about his identity, he would 1000% be happy helping younger trans folk figure out their identities and help them grow into themselves. - He's not the best boss in the world, but by god is he great when it comes to inclusivity and making sure everyone is heard and accommodated and heard on that department. He's the guy who would absolutely risk his job yelling at some executive over their backwards ass views. Yes, he's a corporate suck-up, but he's not a big enough one to let that slide. - Bro absolutely reps that tacky Joja Brand Pride Merchandise every pride month. (and all year, for that matter. pride is an all year affair and hes letting it be known no matter how awful the mug is) - Eventually, with a lot of hesitation on his end, he openly comes out as trans and is greeted with just about nothing but support from the acquaintances he has. It took him by surprise for sure, but he could've swore he viewed the valley in a much softer light that day, and even moreso post community center. - After this, he's able to go to the beach topless, which was one of his longtime future goals. Not only does it feel reaffirming, but its the marking of him fully coming into everything regardless of his age. Plus, no longer would the days of a tank top and socks and sandals remain!

#sdv headcanons #sdv morris #sdv #morris sdv #stardew valley morris #stardew valley headcanons #ora headcanons #im literally trans idk why i was struggling with writing this one #but the thought of trans morris makes my heart happy RAHHH (especially since older trans folk never have rep)#stardew #stardew valley thoughts #his relationship with his parents is based on the sve and marry morris mods soooo #semi canon divergence yessir #longposting #trans hcs #trans

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lawlietscaramels · 3 months

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Can we get Z,T,S and C with L please?

-🌜anon

death note reborn

also hello 🌜 anon! I think your ask is the next one sitting in my inbox and I'm excited to write it :)

I've mentioned it before I believe, but what brings L to a state of zen is rain. And again I'll mention I don't think it actually brings him that sense of calm and belonging unless he's somewhere small. A garden. A driveway. An onsen. I should draw L in rain. He likes the way each single drop of rain is its own individual part of the whole. He likes how they all "work together." He likes the sound. It reminds him of England.

L is terrified of very few things. He has fears, yes, I think he's scared of thunder and also of zombies, and of being unloved and forgotten. which is very likely, nobody noticed that L had died (he's still alive) and Light took over except for people who knew/had been told that he had died. the world only knew him as a detective not even a person and why do I want to make myself cry today, sigh. Anyway. The thing he's number one most afraid of is losing his ability to think and speak and communicate. So any virus that attacks the brain absolutely TERRIFIES him. He lies awake at night thinking about lyssavirus/rabies and listeria and everything else he's heard of (let's be honest L has a weak immune system the common cold could probably kill him). Any brain damage at all, anything related to it, terrifies him.

SEXUALITY & GENDER HEADCANONS LET'S GO,, okay. L usually just tells people it's none of their business, 1) because it's none of their business and 2) because it takes him a while to list it all (he'd go into more detail than I have). L identifies as: arospec (demiromantic), acespec (greysexual) and pan (he thinks from a technical definition he'd be omni, as he has a preference for men, but he prefers the pan label). When asked by someone what his gender is he'll inevitably reply "what the fuck is gender lol" — the wording because he thinks it's funny and the sentiment because he honestly does not care about gender. L is just L. He looks masc because it's just easier to keep going the way he was raised and he accepts he/him pronouns mostly but you could refer to him as anything and he wouldn't care. Would probably be surprised because he's accustomed to being called he/him but would not care. He'd also wear dresses and skirts and whatever if it was a more appropriate choice for the situation or weather n stuff. oops haha I wrote a lot.

Oh boy talking about L and the change questions is gonna be a lot. One of my favourite things to think about is L's inner conflict and how much he wants to change but is at the same time afraid of it. Iirc he mentions in canon that he knows his own methods aren't great but doesn't make any effort to change them. I think the main reason for that is that he's been brought up knowing how unjust the justice system is and being taught that it's okay for him to do bad things if it makes the bad people go away, i.e. the ends justify the means. So he's afraid he won't be as good of a detective if he follows the law he upholds. Watari probably doesn't help very much with that. But L DOES want to be a good person, otherwise he's a hypocrite and creating as many problems as he prevents. As for how he has changed, well, he went from a poor little boy to someone who was told their only purpose was their intelligence and raised to be a brilliant detective at the same time as his own individuality and life was destroyed and that's really sad to me. When I write L I hope to write him learning to be a person outside of his work. once again it's the Rie formula my dear OC there to let me rewrite everything for a happy AU. HELP I wrote even more for that one shhfhfhfnfgn.

#i have too many fickifin thoughts about L #death note reborn #death note #l lawliet #writing #death note headcanons #dn #lei's lawliet #lei writes #lei's death note #watari

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hungriestheidi · 11 months

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hello beloved goose! i am here to talk to you about none other than sebchal. concussion by girlhouse to me is one of the sebchal songs. so while i’m not necessarily offering you a fic title i am offering you a fic song (particularly the line “you did surgery on my mind i think about you all the time”) :)

HELLO SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!! As per usual, this got out of hand.

You know how Charles is likely around 16-17 when he first meet Seb face to face? And he's young, naive, impressionable and Seb is driving the Ferrari he dreams of, cruising through the circuits around the world in red just like he wants to do, and he's got this charming smile and he makes jokes and it looks like he flirts with everyone he comes across? What is that if not a crush that Charles has not learned to identify? Because hero worship he can accept, but being in love with your hero? That's another thing.

And Charles is 20 and driving for Sauber and 21 and being skyrocketed into a Ferrari seat next to Seb and he's a kid in many ways but also an adult in the way he now knows grief and heartbreak, and the kid in his soul is still seeking for someone to impress, to compete with, to be friends with. And there is Seb who makes jokes and compliments him and when they are not filming a PR video still does the same. And Charles has seen the pictures, how he looks at Seb and how much of that time looking at him happens when Seb is looking away. And it's cheesy and he's being dumb but he cannot avoid it. Seb is a constant thought anywhere but inside the car, when it's just him and the strips of tarmac he has to conquer.

It the off days it's getting to the point when he can only tune the thoughts of Seb away when he's on the simulator or playing games with his friends. And his friends know, how could they not, Charles' got the gaze of a baby deer whenever Seb is in the vicinity.

Seb is careless with his interactions, at least that's how it looks like for Charles who has to live with blushing cheeks and ducking his head to hide his smile after Seb does anything. Like making fun of his music choice or telling him he has pretty eyes in German, or when Seb actually buys him a pair of shoes when Charles was sure it was just a throwaway joke for a PR video.

It takes for them to crash in Interlagos for Charles to not seek Seb after the race, to debrief and to talk, when the roles swap and the knock on his door comes from Seb and Seb is sitting on his driver's room half thinking of apologizing, half expecting an apology. When neither part is fulfilled he just looks at Charles for a long moment before sighing and saying "what have you done to me?" And it's... weird because what is he talking about? Seb obliges even when Charles asks nothing outloud, keeps talking, "I can't stop thinking about you."

If they kiss in a driver's room, that is no one's business but their own. If they don't talk about it again until Seb is announced to leave Ferrari, that's also no one else's business.

---

Thanks for sending this ask now I'm spiralling in the brainrot HAHA 🫶💕

#logan tag!#sebchal #myfic #fic asks #im not saying im insane about them but yes

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ayeforscotland · 2 years

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I'm trying to figure out how to say this in a way that will convey my meaning properly and not read as, I don't know, inappropriately talking about my feelings to strangers on the internet. Bear with me.

The photo that you posted of your 70s outfit has been so helpful for my body dysphoria. I am a trans guy and I'm shaped a lot like you. I tend to feel bad for not being one of those lithe transmasc twinks or super buff trans dudes who look like they wear a testosterone drip to the gym.

You, however, are an objectively good-looking guy. I can look at your photo, identify that you look great, and identify that you look like me. And it's a breath of fresh air.

I know you keep saying you're not used to people finding you attractive. Thanks for putting your selfies out there anyway. It's doing more good than you know.

This ask has made my day to be honest so, firstly, thank you. I'm also going to use your intro and say I'm struggling to articulate all of my thoughts on this so apologies if it is pish - please just ignore it and read the last para. Anyway, whenever I've talked about body issues stuff on Tumblr, I've learned that I really have to stress that this is my view of my body and I will always be my harshest critic. I would never say the same about someone else's body because it's none of my business. I've battled with self-image stuff since I was a teenager - I'm in a constant three-way fight between being reasonably happy with myself, not giving a shit because a body is just a flesh prison anyway, and really detesting how I look. Now when I say I sometimes really detest how I look - I do not mean that I detest how other people who are shaped like me look.

I feel like there will always be someone who argues that I'm causing 'collateral damage' but I think that contributes to a society where me, as a guy, can't talk about the challenges around self-image. Like a lot of guys, I didn't receive loads of positive comments on my looks or body growing up. That's not to say my family and friends called me ugly or whatever, but when I received compliments it never felt sincere. The only comment from my teenage years that actually sticks out to me was a lassie I met once for a single date with who said I had nice teeth. Another issue that feeds into my self-image was being an athlete when I was younger and then being put in a position where I couldn't keep it up but not being able to drop the habits fast enough to not face the impact. I'm kinda being deliberately vague with that para as I could go on about body expectation stuff for guys forever. (I've actually edited several new paragraphs into this. It was originally only 3)

Anyway, I'm just really glad to hear that it's helped you even in a small way. We all come in different shapes and sizes, and that's a good thing.

#Long post #Fucking hell I am blogging today #tw body image

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