#and i mean they are supportive but like. even i am puzzled by my own thoughts so

[modmad]

Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

#context for mod's little (massive) mental breakdown yesterday #you don't need to read it but I felt folks are due an explanation #tw suicide #ask to tag #mental health is wow!!!! a thing

[pebiejeebies]

Uhh weird chat abt why I think nickel’s apology was sketchy

NICKEL.. wasn’t the one who said sorry.

AND BEFORE YOU SCREAM AT MY FACE ANYTHING LET ME SPEAK!! I HAVE A REASON!

let’s talk about clover.

remember an/some episode(s) ago when nickel went on a therapy session with clover? Right?

she told him to rethink his whole life right??

NICKEL DIDNT RETHINK HIS LIFE. CLOVER DID.

It was all clover. Think about it

she’s lucky. She gets whatever she wants because of it too.

if she WANTS nickel to be friends with balloon, she will WISH that he becomes friends with him.

WHICH MEANS. there’s a high chance this whole apology was all just clover’s luck

we’ve seen how that stupid box was forced to do something it mentally/physically couldn’t. And it ended up doing what clover wanted (or at least keep her safe)

think about it. One episode, therapy with clover, next episode? Magically becomes the most nicest man ever and supports balloon while giving him his own space.

His apology felt so off, at first I was like YOOOO NICKLOON!! But in reality it was all clover, it’s just so off to me man.. maybe I just hate nickel or smth

But really think about it, there’s no way ANY person or object would do a full mental switch up THIS EASILY?! I took YEARS to stop abusing my sisters mentally and physically. There’s no way a fucking month will change him this quick. TRUST. ME.

I was as horrible as nickel and even worse too, it took years of struggle and patience to obtain what I have today! But nickel? NICKEL? NICKEL?!?! makes the luck do it all for him.

and that made me so fucking angry. you made me question myself and why I took so long to change, you are making other people think change is THAT EASY. you PEICE OF SHIT. (Not you dw, I mean AE)

Literally to the point I feel like nickel was like some sort of puppet or smth

Clover: do this

Nickel: alright

AND EVEN WHEN HE DOES IT ISNT EVEN HIS FUCKING CHOICE. IT ISNT. ITS HER LUCK. NOT NICKEL. now nickel feels like he fucking achieved something, when it was all clover.

LIKE COME ON. you made the fandom happy over something that could potentially be a lie?? There’s no way he magically becomes all cute and sweet and STAYS like that after her luck goes away. There’s just no way.

and ofc it had to be clover, it was all just to say “Oh he changed so quick because of—“ EXACTLY. they are cowards. they don’t wanna make the character slowly struggle and try to get better

they wanna get to the point and that’s it

so everyone goes WOAHHHH NICKLOON!! YAYY!! (no hate to the nickloon shippers btw) without taking so long, because they don’t know how to write any characters without some big flaw

So let’s just make clover “help” him!! Cause she’s lucky!! Yay!! And he can just change in a day or two!1 YAYY!!!/s

HERES ANOTHER POINT TOO. SHE CAME OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE IN THAT EPISODE. “oh I just wanted to be a detective” yeah sure ae. Sureee… sure thing mf. Just solve one fucking word puzzle game and call yourself a detective. Idiots. (Again, pointed towards ae)

take a moment and think about this. Because maybe I’m just wrong, I’m usually wrong anyways. I just need to know I can’t be the only one who thinks that clover was the one who apologized, not nickel.

But for once I feel like I’m right about this, and if I am.. AE im fucking onto you. You fucking cowards.

(and before you ask, no. I’m not okay. I hate how they made me question myself. And I hate how they’re saying it’s so easy to change, and I hate how they’re so lazy about someone’s personality shift)

I don’t hate the animators. I don’t hate the storyboarders, I don’t hate the voice actors, I don’t hate ANYONE in ae. EXCEPT these fucking writers. There are so many better writers out there with ACTUAL ideas and ACTUAL talent, and experience and so much more about life and personality.

even I can write better characters without even planning it out. Imagine. Skill issue fr.

Please note that this isn’t targeted to you either, your opinion on this is valid, so is mine. Let’s keep this chat friendly though.

#ii neg #clover neg #nickel neg #pb vents

[simlit]

Chosen of the Sun | | dawn // thirty-one

| @maladi777 | @izayoichan

INTERACTIVE POLL | Should Indryr use his [TRUTH SCROLL] on Duke Eldewyn? Voting to use the scroll will provide more information about the past history of the trials and those involved, however, there may be consequences from using such magic. Choose wisely. Vote now!

next / previous / beginning

INDRYR: A fascinating idea. There is a great deal of faith placed in lunar priests. Suppose if they should misdirect and say they have received visions they have not… No one would be any the wiser. ASTER: Now that I think of it, how does that whole heaven-to-earth pipeline work, anyhow? KYRIE: Quite ambiguously. Around the time of the Selenehelion, we begin receiving hazy visions. For my sister and I, it was always somewhat complicated. In general, there is only ever one lunar priest of age at any given time. However, because Alphanei and I were twins, our visions were often shared. It was suggested, once, that we conduct together, but I declined. Alphanei’s emotional investment in leading the ceremony seemed to strengthen her ties with the moon. My visions lessened, and hers became stronger. Only now that I’m leading myself do I feel an innate sense of connection to the Chosen. You were all strangers when I brought you here— I’d never heard nor met any of you before. But even before seeing you in the flesh, I felt as if we had known each other for years. INDRYR: And is there some consequence to you for not following the Moon’s vague instruction? KYRIE: I admit, I don’t know. A great part of me feels compelled. It’s hard to explain. Even when I sat aside and let my sister operate on her own, I felt overwhelmingly as if I was doing something wrong. I guess this connection we have, it’s something we’re born with, and impossible to eradicate. That being said, if we should act against that feeling… By that I mean, could a lunar priest have lied about the selected Ten? Yes. I think he could. LUCIEN: But wouldn’t that upset the goddess? KYRIE: Maybe. The truth is, I don’t hear her anymore than you. Divine sensation is just that: Sensation. If she were to punish me for going against her wishes, I can’t imagine what that might look like. Only, in our hearts, I suppose it would feel a bit like betraying someone… something… we love deeply. It would feel immoral. But… there’s nothing impossible about sinning. ELDEWYN: Fascinating, indeed. I never thought about it… Interesting creatures lunar priests! KYRIE: We’re not animals— ASTER: Well! How about that specialty brew you’ve been saving? ELDEWYN: Ah, yes! Let us retire to the parlor. We’ll be more comfortable there. KYRIE: If you don’t mind, I just need to step out a moment… ELDEWYN: Oh, of course, Your Grace. INDRYR: Are you feeling well, Your Grace? KYRIE: Yeah, it’s… I’m fine. INDRYR: Forgive my saying so, but you seem somewhat put-off. KYRIE: It’s alright. I don’t… mind. KYRIE: I think sometimes I feel a bit like a circus act… Maybe I am. INDRYR: Your gifts are unique. And specialness is strange, but not all of us think so shallowly. I understand perfectly well how it feels to be the odd piece out, but you’re no less part of the puzzle. You’ll find your place to fit, and it won’t be here with people like that. KYRIE: Thank you, Indryr, for saying so. INDRYR: No need to thank me. It’s simply what’s true. The Duke has a very… interesting perception. I wondered what sort of society might support the trials in their former iteration. Meeting him, well, it becomes clearer to me. KYRIE: I think there’d be more than a few happy to see the tradition return to the way it was. A sick sense of excitement… It doesn’t matter. I guess I’m more bothered by the idea that my predecessor might have been involved in what happened twenty years ago. You were right. If this was a cover up, the priest heading the ceremony must have allowed for it. INDRYR: I don’t think we can deny it anymore, Your Grace. KYRIE: No, but I do think there’s more to the story. Whether or not the Duke knows, is another question entirely. INDRYR: We could use the scroll? KYRIE: Yes, but it’s not without its risks. I suppose then we must decide… is it worth trying, regardless of the consequences?

#ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 story #ts4 bachelor challenge #chosen of the sun #oc: kyrie loren #cc: aster songleaf #cc: indryr #oc: lucien aravae

[builtbybrokenbells]

Spitfire | iii

Jake still can’t seem to get the girl from the bar off his mind, even after his time in Baltimore was long forgotten to everyone else. He spends his free time getting to know her, realizing quickly that she’s everything he’s dreamed of. She makes fast at showing him that not everyone is interested in him solely for the fame, but he’s still puzzled at how she pushed him to the brink of falling in love with her in only a mere few weeks.

Read part two here

Read part four here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: university exams/exam season (🤢), drinking, smoking (weed & cigarettes), long distance, annoying brotherly activities, fluff, mentions of provocative text messages, not really a whole lot w this one, but sorry if i missed any!

hi! here’s part three :) this is mostly a filler to advance to the main story, but i wanted to throw in some long distance fluffiness because i love hurting my own feelings! lots of dialogue to set the scene/relationship/emotion. as always, enjoy, and please be kind and ignore any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻🫶🏻 also disclaimer I am no longer a science student at university so some of the science-y stuff may not be perfectly accurate, no hate pls

~

An incoming call shook you from your focus, your eyes quickly darting down at your phone to see who it was from. You removed your glasses for a moment, rubbing your eyes to wake yourself up. When you put them back on, you noticed that Jake was the one causing the disturbance. A small smile crossed your lips as you picked your phone up, swiping across the screen to accept the video call. His face appeared after a few seconds, a beaming grin plastered on his cheeks. His hair was damp, likely from him showering after the concert he’d just had. A few hours earlier, he promised he’d call when he got back to the hotel, and it wasn’t like Jake to forget a promise.

“Hello, beautiful.” He said before you had a chance to greet him. You let out a small laugh, clicking the lamp on that was sitting on your computer desk. You placed your phone against the screen of your laptop, propping it up so you didn’t have to hold it.

“Hello, handsome.” You greeted back. “But, I am far from beautiful right about now.” You dismissed him, taking your hair down from its messy bun and putting it back up, neater this time. “I think this paper is going to kill me.” You truly meant it. You were in the midst of writing your final thesis paper for your undergraduate degree. After doing a research credit all year long, the paper proved the most difficult of the whole process.

“I think you’re going to ace it.” He said, taking a seat on the hotel bed. “What’s it on, anyway? You never actually told me.” He was right; you’d been working on it the entire time you’d known him, but never dived into the specifics with him, too afraid of talking his ear off about your year-long journey.

“Um,” you gave a small chuckle, pulling out your draft report. “The study of blood-glucose measurement based on blood resistivity.” You muttered the title before tossing the book of paper back down. His eyes widened a bit, trying to process what you were saying, but he covered it up quickly with a supportive nod.

“I love it when you talk science to me.” He sighed, a note of humour radiating from him. You let out a giggle, happy he’d called to ease the tension between you and your work. “But, you know, could you give me a refresher on what exactly that means?” He asked, leaning back against his headboard. You noticed he was shirtless, feeling a small flutter in your stomach at the sight.

“You mean to tell me you can’t tell me all about a diabetic study based off voltage and curve fitting?” You asked, an incredulous look in your eye. He laughed, giving a shrug.

“I’m a bit rusty.” You admired his features, how beautiful he looked when he was happy. You also noticed he looked tired himself, his eyes drooping slightly.

“I’ve been doing a research credit for my degree. I read a study about something similar way back in high school and it stuck with me, because my father’s side of the family struggles with diabetes. My dad and two of my brothers have Type 1. I decided to take a deeper look into it for my thesis.” You explained. He gave you his full attention, humming an agreement to assure you he was listening. “But basically what I’m doing is experimenting to see if we can measure a persons blood-sugar level in a non-invasive way. I studied pulses with electrodes and compared the voltage to different blood-sugar levels on a curve to see if it’s a suitable way to calculate it.”

“Did it work?” He asked, genuinely intrigued.

“Well, sort of.” You scratched your head, furrowing your eyebrows slightly, trying to find the best way to explain it. “There’s definitely a correlation, and I think if it was studied further, it could genuinely get somewhere. It would be pretty cool if it did. Blood-sugar level tests are extremely troublesome in general. They take time, they’re painful, and super expensive in the long run. I know my family spent thousands of dollars on Will and Sam when they were kids, and we had good insurance. It was really interesting to look at. I’m glad I picked it, but almost seven months of study is a lot to compile into one report.” You chuckled. “It’s required to be 40-60 pages long.”

“I think you’re a genius,” he said as a matter-of-fact “and I know that whatever you put down on that paper is going to be fantastic.” He assured you. You gave him a smile, appreciating his words.

“I can only be so much of a genius with a recycled idea,” you reminded, sitting up in your chair. “But I’m almost done the bulk of the work now, so I can forget about it soon enough.”

“When is it due?” He questioned.

“Friday.” You sighed, looking at your calendar. “Three days to go and I’m officially done.”

“See? That’s not so bad. I’ll read it when you’re finished and tell you how amazing it is. I probably won’t understand any of it, but I do know how to give you a compliment.” He flashed the smile that you’d been missing so much. And he was right, he sure did know how to compliment you. It was his favourite pastime, even when you looked as run down as you did in that moment.

“And I would be more than delighted to share it with you.” You watched him again, more interested in him than you’d ever been in your schoolwork. “Anyway, enough about me. How’d your show go, rockstar?”

“I don’t think I can ever get enough of you,” the cheesy line was accompanied by a goofier grin. You rolled your eyes, both of you knowing you weren’t really annoyed with him. “It was good. The crowds are always amazing. We played really well, but I am tired though.”

“Of course you are; it’s hard work to put on a good show.” You sympathized. You could tell how much he loved what he did, but he was always exhausted when he called you at night, which was a common occurrence. He’d been gone for almost two weeks, now, and if he absolutely could not call you during the day, he texted as much as he could. Communication was never ceased, in turn, never leaving you wondering if he meant everything he’d told you. It only took him the length of the plane ride to use your number after he left, claiming he didn’t stop thinking of you once while he was flying away from you. Now, the end of your semester was quickly approaching, which meant the end of your bachelor studies as well.

The day you’d so conveniently ran into him at the coffee shop had sparked a beautifully blossoming relationship. That evening, both went back to your house, where he’d met your roommates (well, officially, at least) and you all had dinner together. You’d given him the house tour he’d been so eager for, and eventually you went back to his hotel with him. Much to everyone’s disbelief, it was completely PG the whole night, aside from a few kisses. You’d met his brothers, spent some time with them and were lucky enough to get to know them, even if it wasn’t much past the surface level. You and Jake spent the night talking, listening to music and really getting past the superficialities.

Not once did he make an advance, proving to you even further that he meant what he’d told you. You shared a bed with him night, falling asleep wrapped in each others arms with no intent for sex or any other hidden implications. It was something you’d never experienced before. When you woke, you got breakfast together. You went with him to the airport to see him off, and he’d kissed you. That’s where the intimacy ended. Now, you had to see him through a phone screen or a camera, always aching to be held by him again. It was the most peace you’d ever known from another person.

You were still nervous, finding it hard to integrate another person into your daily routine in such a way, but the process was made so much easier because of the type of person he was. He was understanding of your timidity, always kind and gentle, he was quick with his words and they were always sweet, and he was gorgeous. Making Jake a part of your every day life had been easier than anything you’d ever done. Nothing was official; it was mostly just phone calls and texting, even if it was constant. A lot of it was innocent, asking about each others days, or mindless chatter that you would never bother to share with anyone else. No matter what you had to say, he always seemed to want to listen. Occasionally, the flirting would take over. He was usually very respectful, he didn’t like to initiate until he knew you were okay with it, but every now and then, he’d send a risky text or picture first. Nothing too graphic, just enough to let you know he was thinking about you. You’d never admit it, but they were some of your favourite texts to receive. Sometimes you would send one first, particularly when it was a bad time for him, just to be an asshole.

You were still processing the entire situation. You’d never been in a relationship or a ‘situationship’, as some say, without it starting with sex, or at least the intent of only having sex. It was nice, knowing him so well before he knew you so intimately. The emotional intimacy felt way nicer than any physical gratification you could imagine. You felt yourself really falling for Jake, despite being so evasive of the idea when you first met him. You truly felt like he was someone you could love, or he was someone who could love you like you’d always wanted.

“When is your ceremony?” He asked. Your eyes shot up to the screen, breaking out of your thoughts.

“Uh, what, sorry?” You cleared your throat, feeling a bit embarrassed for zoning out.

“Your graduation ceremony?” He asked again, not bothered by having to repeat himself.

“Oh,” you looked at your calendar again, eyes tracking the days. There was a big red circle with the word ‘freedom’ scribbled in it. You chuckled to yourself, remembering when Eve had written it. She was over the moon for you when you submitted your credits for review to graduate. She was taking her degree slow, likely to finish in five years rather than four. Knowing that you would still be there with her while she finished, or that she wouldn’t have to leave you behind when she moved away, made both of you relieved beyond measure. “The 24th.” You clarified.

“I have a show that day.” His voice was sad. You felt a bit of disappointment at his words, but you understood. Besides, you’d only known him for a couple weeks; you couldn’t expect him to drop everything to go to your graduation when he barely knew you.

“That’s okay.” You assured him. “I didn’t expect you to go anyway.” You realized how harsh your words sounded after they came out. A solemn look fell across his features. “No, Jake, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” You rushed out. “I just meant that we’ve only been talking for a few weeks. I would never expect you to drop your whole life to come and see my ceremony.”

“You say that like you’re not important to me.” He said, fidgeting with something behind the screen.

“I know I am, Jake.” You assured him. “And you’re important to me, too. I just know that life is busy. Especially for you, rockstar.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Maybe Eve will be generous enough to do a video call with me.” He suggested. You nodded, thinking that wasn’t a bad idea at all.

“I’ll have to ask her, but I’m sure she would. I think she likes you.” He let out a small laugh.

“Well that’s good, I guess.” His attention was disrupted by a knock on his door. “Hold on,” he mumbled, getting out of the bed. He continued holding the phone, not wanting to miss a moment of time talking to you. You heard his hotel door open, only being able to see his shoulder on the camera.

“Hello, brother.” You heard a voice say. You could recognize it as Josh’s. He’d joined your calls a fair few times over the last few weeks, just the same as Danny and Sam. You were slowly getting to know all of the boys, which was really making you feel like Jake was serious about this whole thing. “Care to partake?” You heard a laugh fall from Jake, warming your heart. You were certain that it had become your favourite sound in the whole world.

“Yeah, but she has to join, too.” Jake informed his brother.

“Oh, is that y/n?” Josh asked, his excitement growing. “Actually, I don’t think I even have to ask.”

“Hi, Josh!” Your voice echoed from the phone. You saw a struggle on the screen, hearing muffled bumps and noises, until eventually Josh’s smiling face popped into view.

“Hey, mama.” You could hear Jake arguing with his brother, trying to get his phone back. Josh seemed to be walking down the hallway, now, away from his twin. You couldn’t help but giggle at the interaction. “You wanna get drunk with us?” He asked. You eyed your laptop screen, internally debating if you should or not.

“You know, you guys are awfully bad influences.” You teased.

“Is that a yes?” You could see Jake approaching in the background of the camera, now. Josh raised his eyebrow at you in anticipation. He was still evading Jake, picking up his speed as he ran away from him.

“Josh, don’t pressure her into it.” Jake scolded. He sounded far away, you could barely make out what he was saying. You were having a hard time holding back your laughs, now. The whole situation was perfectly comedic and seemed to be exactly what you needed to feel better.

“Yeah, I’d love to, Josh.” You agreed. He let out a triumphant noise, halting his movement completely. Jake finally reached him, grabbing his phone back. You finally lost control of your laughter when you saw his grumpy expression appear in the frame. “Hi, honey.” You joked through bouts of giggles, wiping away a tear that had fallen.

“I’m glad you think he’s funny,” Jake tried to sound annoyed, but he was failing miserably, unable to stay upset while seeing you so happy. “Try being around him all of the time.”

“Oh come on, he’s not that bad.” You comforted, catching your breath.

“You have no idea.” He grumbled, making his way back to his hotel room. Josh appeared behind him, holding a liquor bottle in his hand. You stood yourself, throwing a hoodie on over your tank top. Jake watched you silently, admiring you. He thought you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, even when you were doing the most mundane tasks. You grabbed your cigarette pack from the desk and slipped it into the pocket. “Are you sure you want to stay on the phone? I can let you go, I know you have work to do.” The concern was dripping from his words.

“I’m okay, I want to talk to you guys. I wasn’t getting much work done, anyway. I think I just have to take a break, start fresh tomorrow.” You were lying, but only slightly. Your work was not going fantastic, but you were making progress. Still, you’d rather put the last bit of your report off until tomorrow if it meant you got to spend time with Jake, even if it was virtual.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Jake said, a note of warning in his tone.

“She wants to hang out with us, Jake. Don’t convince her to change her mind.” You could practically hear Josh’s eye roll in his statement.

“What, I’m not- you know what? Get out.” Even as he said it, there was a smile on his face and a ghost of a laugh in his voice. You thought it was sweet, how close the two boys were. Twin thing aside, they really were best friends. They knew each other better than anyone else, and they were always functioning on the same wavelength. Even when they were mad at each other, they were never really mad.

Almost nightly you’d see an appearance from Josh in your FaceTimes with Jake. He’d instantly added you on his personal social media’s, wanting to know you just as bad as Jake did, but for a different reason. You remembered back to a few days after they left, how Josh had sent you a message telling you that ‘if Jake talked so highly about you, he had to know you, too’. The instant acceptance was heartwarming. The boys reminded you of your own brothers. You were excited for them all to meet, eventually. They’d talked on the phone a few times, but you couldn’t wait for them to all be together and really know each other.

Just as you were exiting your room, your phone began to vibrate again. A grin pulled at your lips. Your brother Sam was calling, too. “Hold on, guys.” You said, clicking the hold button on your current call and answering the video from your sibling. “Hello, spawn of Satan.” You greeted as soon as the call connected.

“I’m really starting to question if you love me or not.” He shot back. You chuckled.

“Oh, I do love you, brother dearest, but it’s because I have to.” You teased. “Hold on, I’m on the phone with Jake. I’m going to merge it.” You informed him. He gave a nod. You clicked into the other call, pressing the merge button. Within a moment, the screen was shared between Jake and Sam. It took Jake a moment to realize what happened, but when he did, his eyes lit up.

“It’s other Sam!” He said. Your brother cracked a smile, probably larger than any one he’d ever given you.

“What’s up, rockstar?” Sam asked. Josh peeked his head into view, not wanting to miss out on any of the conversation. “Twin rockstars!” Jake and Josh got a chuckle out of it. You’d instantly told Sam about Jake, calling him right after you got home from the airport. Sam, being a nosy little shit, did a deep dive of him on all social media’s. Within a few days, all of your brothers knew about him, and were begging you to let them meet him. So, you thought you’d ease the transition by allowing them on a few of your calls with him. Sam had taken to him immediately, especially upon learning he also had a brother named Sam. According to him, it was fate that you and Jake ended up together. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he wanted to date Jake, too.

“Glad I’m so easily forgettable.” You rolled your eyes, making your way down the hallway and into the kitchen. Ally was sitting at the table with a bowl of soup and her laptop in front of her. She looked like she’d been crying, staring down her final assignment with a look of disdain on her face. Exam season always put a damper on the household mood. You walked over and gave her a supportive shoulder pat, knowing you were close to the same mental state. Sam found himself chatting away with the other two boys, completely ignoring your comment, which only proved your point further. “M’going outside, if you wanna join.” You told her. She shook her head, barely being able to formulate words.

“I have to finish this.” She groaned, relaxing into her chair. “Due tomorrow.”

“Stuck?” You asked, peering down at her screen. She nodded. You gazed at the question that was left answerless, the last one on the page. “Is this Calc III?” She gave a nod. “Okay, where’s your work for it so far?” She pointed out a paragraph.

“I just can’t seem to get the numbers to work out.” She let out a long sigh, throwing her pencil down on the table. You looked over it for a minute, studying the numbers she was using.

“Okay, it’s a relation between a flux and a line integral, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” You turned the volume down on your phone a bit, not wanting to distract her while the boys talked.

“You remember the unit where you talked about the three main integral theorems?” She gave a hum, seeming to get what you’re saying. “One of those has an equation that will solve this question. And you’ll need to remember it for the exam, too, because there’s a couple questions about it.” You told her. She looked like she was wracking her brain for an answer, desperate to remember what you were talking about. After a moment, it seemed to click.

“Stoke’s theorem!” She exploded, catching the attention of all of the boys on the phone call. She noticed the lack of noise, a blush rising to her cheeks. You held up your hand for a high-five, helping her forget about her outburst. “Thank you.” She whispered.

“No problem,” you assured her “now, if you want to join, I will be outside getting fucked up. I am trying to forget about my thesis.” She let out a small laugh.

“How many pages?” She asked.

“I am on page 51, if you must know. Nearly there!” You cheered yourself on. “I should be able to finish it tomorrow.” You went to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of wine and a container of cut up fruit someone had bought at the grocery store.

“I believe in you.” She said, turning back to her laptop. “I might be out in a bit. I haven’t seen Eve all day. Not sure if she’s alive or not, so I’ll have to check on her first.” You saw Sam perk up at the mention of Eve’s name. He probably hadn’t heard from her, either. She was fully immersed in studying, more so than anyone else. She took her exams extremely serious. With a smaller course load, she wanted to ensure her marks were as best as they could be. You were proud of her for it. She worked really hard, but you did miss her presence during exam weeks.

“Saw her this morning drinking orange juice from the bottle, haven’t seen her since.” You informed her. The two of you shared a laugh. “She’s alive, just in hermit mode.”

You parted ways, opening the front door after putting on a pair of slippers. You moved over to the patio chairs placed around a table on the porch. It was a closed porch with large glass windows and another door leading to the street. You thought it was peaceful, finding it your favourite spot in the whole house. You sat down, resting your feet on the table. You pulled out a joint and a cigarette from the cardboard box in your pocket. “What did I miss?” You asked them, now focusing on your screen again.

“We were actually just talking about how much we hate you,” Sam said, a hint of fake sympathy accompanying his words.

“Mmhmm,” you mumbled, joint now between your lips and your lighter setting the tip ablaze. You took a large inhale, the cherry glowing red in the dim lighting. A billow of smoke flowed from your mouth as you exhaled. Almost instantly, you felt the tension melt off your shoulders. Josh seemed positively buzzed, his cheeks burning red and his smile never leaving. Sam looked as though he was ready for bed, eyes heavy and bloodshot. You were sure he’d been high for hours. Jake was sipping a drink silently, but his eyes never seemed to move from the camera.

“Alex and I are flying in Friday morning.” Sam said. Your eyes lit up, a course of adrenaline flowing through your veins.

“Really?” He gave a nod.

“Yeah, we decided to come early, spend some with with you before mom and dad got there. I think our flight leaves here at five.” He explained. “So you better have all of your shit done, because we want to party.” He warned.

“It will be, don’t worry.” You promised. “I think I’ll have my report done by tomorrow. I just have to type the conclusion and my entire novel of sources.” You chuckled to yourself, looking down at the joint between your fingers. “I’ll get Ally to proofread it; she said she would a few days ago. After that, I’m a free woman.” You announced, feeling proud of yourself for getting this far.

After that, the chatter died down. Sam eventually hung up, telling everyone he was tired and wanted to go to bed. You bid your goodbye, already feeling the anticipation begin for his arrival. You and the twins continued on with mindless conversation, sipping away at your drinks. When you cigarette pack was down to the last three, and the bottle of wine was threatening the end, Josh was ready to retire for the night, too. He was dozing off in Jake’s bed every so often, a small snore falling from his mouth periodically. You were caught up in Jake, not caring that the rest of the company had dwindled down. He was exhausted but still immersed in your conversations about nothing, and everything.

It wasn’t too long before Josh stumbled away to his own hotel room. He gave a solemn goodnight, telling you that he wished you were there with them, before he toddled away. Your cheeks were warm in the cool night air, the liquor and weed weighing heavily on you, but not any more than your tiredness.

When Jake settled into bed under the covers, as much as sleep wanted to become him, he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes. “Are you going to bed, beautiful?” He mumbled. You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself. He was barely formulating the words, head buried so deep in the pillow you could hardly see him anymore.

“I think you probably should.” You told him, concern becoming you. “We can talk tomorrow, rockstar.”

“Don’t want to,” he mumbled “just want you here with me.” Your heart ached, hating to admit to yourself that you felt the same way.

“I know, I do too.” You finally mustered out. As much as you enjoyed talking with Jake, and as aware as you were about your feelings for him, the opening up part was proving quite difficult. You had no problem with the flirting, or the endless conversations, or even the sex talk, but telling him how you truly felt was troublesome. You weren’t sure if it was because you were scared of rejection, or because you were just scared of falling in love with him. “I miss you.” You whispered.

“I miss you too, beautiful.” He seemed more alert now, energized by the fact you’d made that proclamation first, this time.

“When can I see you again?” You picked at some frayed strings on your pants, avoiding looking at him.

“Soon, I promise. Once you finish school, I’ll take you around the world with me.” His smile brought your attention back to him. You found it impossible to look anywhere else. Your chest burned at his statement, wondering if he was being truthful or not.

“You mean it?”

“Never meant anything more in my life.” He assured you. “I hate sleeping alone, now, ‘cause I know what it’s like to sleep next to you.” You stood to go back inside, butting out your last cigarette of the night before entering through the front door and locking it behind you. You didn’t answer him until you were in your bedroom with the door closed.

“Don’t make promises you don’t mean, rockstar.” You took off your sweater and your pants, climbing into bed. The alcohol was buzzing through your veins, making your head feel a bit fuzzy. You were more than ready for bed.

“I’ve never told you anything I didn’t mean, baby.” The pet name rolled off his tongue so effortlessly, like he was meant to call you that all along, but it hit you with such an impact that you were sure it had stopped your heart for a moment. He’d called you plenty of other names, more in a compliment context, but such a domestic title was something very new. He didn’t even notice the effect it had on you; he was laying there with his eyes closed, phone only showing half of his face in the frame. When you didn’t answer, he opened one of his eyes to see what was going on. “I’m sorry, did that bother you? I wasn’t thinking,” he rushed out.

“No, Jake. It’s okay.” You reassured him. “I liked it.” A small smile creeped onto his face. You couldn’t help but return it. “I think I’m falling for you, rockstar.” You breathed after a moment too long.

“I already have, witchy woman.” His eyes were open again, watching the blush spread across your cheeks. That was the best way he could say it, because he was afraid he’d already fallen in love with you. He was glad he could at least tell you a sliver of what he was feeling for you. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Soon,” you said, curling up into your blankets.

“Can we stay on the phone tonight?” He asked. “I don’t want to hang up.”

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” You turned over, plugging your phone into the charger. You set your phone on your nightstand, propped up against a book so he could see you. He shuffled around, doing the same thing. This wasn’t the first time you’d fallen asleep with him on the phone. You hadn’t done it in a few days, though. It was nice. When the days permitted, sometimes you even got to wake up to him before he had to go. He usually waited as long as he could before hanging up so he could at least try to say good morning. If you were awake first, you did the same. You really enjoyed the little routines you two had been building together.

You both settled into your beds, rustling in the pillows and blankets to find the comfiest position. You watched your phone, wanting to soak in every second of seeing his face. “Goodnight, beautiful.” He mumbled, sleep calling to him. “Sleep well, I’ll see you in the morning.” He said it as if it were a promise.

“Goodnight, rockstar.” You whispered. His eyes fluttered closed as he bit his tongue, holding back any other words. The ‘L’ word was always so dangerously close to slipping out of his mouth. He felt so stupid, wanting to say ‘I love you’, when he’d only known you for a few weeks, but he felt like he really did. He’d never met anyone else who made him feel like you did, and it started from the minute he saw you.

Before you closed your own eyes, they drifted to the wall behind your computer desk. The record sleeve of one of Jake’s albums stood so beautifully prominent, his signature illuminated by your desk lamp. Your gaze lingered over the sharpie marks, stomach fluttering at the memory of him writing it. You fell asleep with a smile, already excited to wake up to him in the morning.

~

Tag list: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice

#greta van fleet #gvf #danny gvf #sam gvf #danny wagner #gvf fic #jake gvf #jake kiszka #josh gvf #sam kiszka #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fleet fanfic #jake x reader #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka series #josh kiszka #gvf series #gvf fandom #gvf imagine #gvf fanfiction #mine #writing #fic #builtbybrokenbells

[femmespoiled]

how does butchxfemme love feel? is it really real? will i ever find a butch that loves and fucks me like people tell on here?

It's late for me, but I wanted to answer this before I go to bed.

As someone currently experiencing it, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me, my butch is absolutely the best thing that's ever happened to me. They make me feel so happy and calm and grounded. We see and understand each other, we help each other grow. They make me feel my most femme and I can't ever really say enough how being two sides of the same coin with your person feels amazing. They're my home, my person. We fit perfectly like puzzle pieces.

I remember when they told me "your femme-ness is a wonder that is both familiar and a brand new experience. You yourself are a wonder with your kindness and openness, and you make me feel safe and excited for unknown futures. I really think you complete me, filling all the empty parts of me and truly appreciating the full parts of me"

And I feel the same about them. Being their femme is one of my favourite things to be.

They help me truly see the meaning of these identities. I absolutely adore them and I wouldn't want it any other way.

My butch is the sweetest, kindest, most supportive partner I could ever ask for. They make me feel excited about life no matter how hard it is because I have them.

The sex is amazing and the love is even better. I feel so comfortable with them, we get to be silly with each other and life just feels lighter. We're each other's safe place.

I could go on and on about this forever, I love talking about them and how proud I am of them and our relationship

As to your other question "will i ever find a butch that loves and fucks me like people tell on here?"

Tbh I don't know if this whole question sits well with me, especially that last part. I'm not sure if that's how you meant it, I hope not, but it kinda comes across like "what can butches do for me?" And puts all the responsibility of making, whatever you two have, work on butches exclusively. This community, and relationships in general, takes two parts. There are butches of all kinds, with varied sexual wants/needs, because you know, they're people, not all the same and that should be appreciated. I want to make sure we don't forget to say the quiet part out loud, the "fucking" part isn't the most important part about loving them.

Butches are so much more than what they can provide to you.

When we're talking about butch/femme love, do you support and take care of each other? As a femme, do you show up for your butch? Are you prepared to make them feel loved and feel seen and feel safe? What are the ways you're prepared to do that for them? Are you prepared to go with them through their highs and lows, whatever those might be, like they would for you? Are you ready for that?

When we talk about butches here, each of us are talking about our own experiences, I'm always talking about my own butch, each butch is a unique individual.

So I'm sure you could, but be prepared to love a butch not for the stereotypes and the sexual parts, but love them as a person, take them as they are.

#ask #bellas butch/femme tag

[lurkingshan]

Be My Favorite and the Struggle to Change

We got another great episode this week, and it really cemented my favorite part of what this show is doing: they are taking us on a journey with Kawi as he tries to change. And this show understands that shit is hard. Trying to change how you think, the way you react to things that make you uncomfortable, and how you let it drive your behavior is some of the hardest work an adult ever has to do. My bestie @waitmyturtles is not watching BMF with us, but she wrote about this recently in relation to Khai in Theory of Love and the same ideas apply here. Behavior change is work. It is never linear. And to do it successfully you need supportive community around you. This show is honest about that.

This week we saw these themes in action as Kawi once again got in his own way. After his heart to heart with Pisaeng they have settled into a friendship and Kawi opened up to Pisaeng about his dad’s health struggles. He took his advice to go to Pear and her surgeon father to get his dad an earlier surgery date. And he was so nervous about how to ask for help, but when Kawi learned Pisaeng had already laid the ground work for him by filling in Pear and asking her to be the one to make the request of her dad, was he grateful? Nope! Instead, he retreated into old patterns and had a little meltdown, nearly tanking his one shot to save his dad’s life because he couldn’t control his emotions.

And I get what was happening with him in these scenes. Realizing Pear already knew threw him off his game and sent him spinning. Kawi is not good at keeping a calm head when he is caught off guard. He knew only Pisaeng was aware of his dad’s problem, and immediately realized Pisaeng must have been the one to tell her. Because he is still fighting the instinct to interpret everything Pisaeng does as suspect (and his own discomfort with his growing feelings for Pisaeng), he got angry instead of feeling grateful. And because he can’t keep a calm head ever, his decision was to abruptly and rudely leave the people who are trying to help his dad so he can go vent his anxiety and anger on Pisaeng yet again. 

I love that Max called him on this (Max is really working overtime to support Kawi’s growth, he deserves an all expenses paid vacation to the queer friendly beach resort of his choice). I love that Pisaeng was generous enough to forgive him for it once again. I love that Pear and her father decided to help him without holding his rude behavior against him. This is the community Kawi needs around him if he is going to change for the better, and he is lucky to have so many great people in his corner to look out for him and forgive his missteps. And while Kawi is still not great at managing his emotions, he is already getting better at dealing with the fallout of his outbursts.

Which brings me to the next part of the episode, where Kawi gets drunk, apologizes to Pisaeng, and starts testing out these feelings that are making him so anxious. He wants to understand why Pisaeng likes him. He wants to understand why he is drawn to Pisaeng despite his own beliefs about his sexual orientation and who he likes. And with his inhibitions lowered and his vulnerability up, he gives in to his curiosity. 

Now I must admit I did not fully love this kiss scene. Parts of it worked very well for me (the lead up with Kawi puzzling out why Pisaeng likes him, the way Kawi was the one to invite it, the way the chemistry was there but somewhat muted because Kawi is still testing his feelings) and parts of it didn’t (in particular I am having a hard time swallowing the way Pisaeng attempted to push it beyond a kiss when Kawi was that drunk and clearly confused). That said, the aftermath of the kiss was handled so well, because we got to see the way Kawi has grown even as he continues to make mistakes. 

I was afraid he was going to regress the morning after, but instead Kawi openly acknowledges the kiss and his own confusion about what it means and actively attempts to discuss it honestly with Pisaeng. That is some serious growth. Kawi wants to understand what’s happening between them and he wants to make sure he and Pisaeng are okay even as he struggles to figure out what he wants. We didn’t get to see their latest rooftop conversation yet, but just the fact that Kawi is insisting on talking it out is so refreshing. And the end credits scene where they openly acknowledge the attraction between them gives us a solid map of where we’re going, as Kawi says he is not yet ready to give up on Pear and Pisaeng commits to waiting. They are going to be together, but we will need to patiently wait as Kawi does the hard work of changing and becoming someone who can be a good partner to Pisaeng.

#be my favorite #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy x Ace and the riddle of knowledge in 4x11

The sweet smell of being right on the money, I love it. You know what else I love? The development in this episode. Because things in Horseshoe Bay have gone from suspicious AF to completely demented, and I am HERE FOR IT.

We finally have confirmation for why things have felt so off these last few episodes. And we’ve started to explore the jenga puzzle, if I remove this one thing - vanished as though it never existed - what else falls down? What other relationships and feelings change? Can they be pieced back together again?

Let’s start with my boy Ace, because I personally am really enjoying his storyline. Do I completely get where the frustration lies for those who would have liked to see more pining and curse breaking and TENSION? Absolutely. I too would have loved that, because Ace and Nancy serve up delicious tension for breakfast, and it’s a treat to watch it. But I’m also genuinely enjoying seeing what we’ve got, because it’s all about growth.

Ace has been given time and space this series to find himself and flourish. He’s fought through heartbreak, and yes, that heartbreak has been distorted, we know that now. Can feel the chiming sense of wrong wrong wrong, how his feelings towards Nancy have shifted, vanishing like smoke in the air. Memories and feelings erased until there’s nothing left but the bare bones of a friendship and an aching sense of something gone - reaching for his phone in the middle of the night before realising he has no idea why. Because suddenly he’s left with the sense of a relationship that stalled before it could start, an idle heartbreak, the feeling of throwing himself into work, into the next mystery, the next person who shows an interest. A tension under his skin that he can’t ever explain. But he’s found a job that he loves, he’s carving out his own space, learning where to prioritise, where the important parts of him lie, where they join together, and how to take up his own space in the world.

His sense of self worth is still battered, his issues with his parents rampant, but he’s starting to hold his ground, mark his own boundaries, find an inner steel we’ve not yet seen in him. He’s always been so quick to please, to try and do what others have wanted, and this episode we’re finally seeing him stand his ground. 

We haven’t ever seen his parents come into his space before, and we get that not once but three times in this episode. We see the tension and friction between him and his father (which we haven’t seen much of but was alluded to greatly in the first couple of seasons) and we see how his mother tries desperately to keep the peace whilst supporting her son. 

GIF Credit @goodobservationshirley

I love this moment. Because Rebbeca is right. The Claw is absolutely Ace’s house, and that means that she and his father are coming to him to lead, they are stepping into his space and they are going to treat it as his, can acknowledge that it’s his, which is such a huge thing. Sure his dad is dismissive and thinks it’s going to go terribly, but that line is drawn. This is Ace’s space, and that means he is the head of the house.

As he becomes more preoccupied with his ghost he becomes less passive with his father. He stands up for himself, he refuses to be cowed by the disappointment, the expected failure. He does this on his terms. And yeah, he stumbles at the start, but he doesn’t let that phase him, he carries on, he leads. He steps into his own and it is such a joy to see. By the end of the episode we have that beautiful moment where his dad comes to tell him how well he did. And moments like this? They’re everything. The growth, the evolution of their relationship. The way they start to meet each other as equals instead of Ace cowering before his dad, it’s amazing to watch.

And then the confrontation with Nancy. Oh guys, they needed this. Sure, it’s about the ghost, not about them. How can they get this argument out when they don’t even remember their feelings for each other? But this is the first time that Ace asserts himself. Stop. I do not consent to what you’ve done. Stop. He never stands up to Nancy. Never holds space for himself, for his needs. The closest we’ve seen him come is 4x02 when he’s desperately pushing for her to tell him what he’s missing. But even then he doesn’t come out and say it, he doesn’t communicate effectively, doesn’t express himself. He acts the part of the spurned wife, veiling everything behind passive aggressive snark and stone wall silence. 

This is everything. This is beautiful. This is communication. Expressing what he needs, what he wants, and refusing to back down. This is everything that they have been missing. I’ve said it over and over and over this season, so much of their problem has been their inability or willingness to communicate openly with each other. And here, laying down the groundwork, is the first step. The first flag Ace is planting. A map of muscle memory for the next time he needs to hold his head high and say stop, no, this is not what I want. 

But as he starts to find those boundaries, Nancy is finding her sense of self eroded. She is floundering, desperate, panicked by the timeline she’s been thrust into, desperate now she knows there are too smooth edges where her memories have been stitched together. Suddenly she doesn’t know herself, doesn’t trust herself. What is her and what is what’s left behind when it’s been taken - the trip on the pavement versus the assault? What would she do, what could she possibly have deemed so bad it had to be removed? Because this Nancy, the Nancy with the pieces removed, she doesn’t have the framework of her love for Ace, the undying certainty that she would do anything for the man she loves, even tear herself to pieces with her bare hands and a handful of words whispered in the dark. She only has an aching sense of loss and a hundred shifting pieces she can no longer make sense of. 

So she goes back to the basics. Back to the handful of things she can hold onto, the facts of the case. Over and over and over as she spirals into panic and fear and the desperate certainty that she is broken beyond repair, irredeemable, lost and alone.

She knows the date. She knows the time. She knows the call log on her phone. The memories are gone but the facts are there. A handful of truths to hold onto and whisper to herself in the dark. We have seen Nancy at her best and at her worst. But even at her worst - lost in the depths of the Hudson name and sure that she can only be the worst version of herself, she knew her mind. Trusted her memories. Could hold onto the pieces of her that she knew to be true. But this, this is a violation that she knows is self inflicted. A scalpel precise removal of pieces of her she doesn’t even know to miss.

We now have a definitive timeline - Ace called Nancy after the boat trip, after the memorial, her hair still wet from washing buttercream icing out. There’s around twenty minutes between that and her going to call on the Sin Eater. And Nancy, because she’s shaken, she’s been given proof that she’s done something she can’t imagine ever doing, no longer trusts herself, no longer trusts what she’d do, what terrible atrocities she could commit. She goes to Ace and tells him that she thinks they are responsible for the Jane Doe.

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti 

 But that doesn’t track, that doesn’t make sense. The Nancy we know and love would never try and erase a murder, cover up something terrible. She’d face it head on, hold herself to the same truth and justice ideal that she holds everyone to, because as far as she’s concerned she’s not special, she’s not above this. If she did something wrong she’d take herself to the police station and confess.

So that’s not it. 

But Nancy would also do absolutely anything for those she loves. Not murder, not hiding something like that. But she would absolutely run to the Yacht Club to erase something to save someone she loves, someone like Ace. It’s something time critical, otherwise why would she go there so quickly. She’s desperate. But it’s not something illegal, no for that she’d call Carson, get a lawyer involved, get it sorted out the right way. She’s not always stayed on the right side of the law - too many opportunities to show up the police when they can’t do their jobs, use her lockpicks, her sleuthing beanie. But if it was something illegal, something bad, something murderous, there is no way she’d erase it, she’d work on building the strongest defence possible, but she wouldn’t undo it.

I don’t believe it’s that they accidentally triggered the curse either. We’ve seen before, the Sin Eater erases the memory, it can’t undo the damage. If the curse were triggered, if Ace were doomed to die, the Sin Eater wouldn’t be able to do a thing to stop it.

So what does that leave? I genuinely have no clue. There are some great theories floating around about that night, about the Captain of the ship mysteriously cancelling, about the curse that Ace drops overboard. Something about that is off. And we can no longer trust what we’re being shown as viewers. Is what we see the truth? Or is it the altered version after the Sin Eater has removed it from the characters’ collective consciousness? Did Ace and his dad have a lovely bonding fishing trip or did something else happen? Did Nancy and Ace actually have that conversation as we saw it? Clearly not. But what have we had erased? What parts are missing? What jigsaw pieces are we going to be gifted to fill in to make the picture make sense?

My two cents, for what they’re worth - I don’t believe the ghost and the Jane Doe are the same. I think these are two things thrown together to make us think they’re the same. If the Captain theory holds true I’m willing to bet that they’re the burned corpse. But I think the ghost is the figurehead from The Governance. 

The Governance was stormed away from its original course thanks to the Aglaeca - thanks founders and your truly terrible treatment of women. Like I was in a storm. 

They then ripped the boat to pieces and left the figurehead as a protector of the Black Door, literally in the basement. The sky is gone.

The figurehead that has watched over as they tried over and over to merge the Sin Eater with the stolen children. There’s only one left.

She’s ethereal, not wearing the clothes she died in, but a white robe - like an angel, like a woman in white, like a being of magic. And Nancy Drew have been at great pains to point out throughout that there is a balance. Plugonia - plural, one doll for evil, one for light. What if the figurehead is not just a watcher, but part of the literal balance of the Sin Eater?

Now, @flythesail has done a truly excellent post exploring this theory which makes me feel much less like I’m going crazy connecting dots that aren’t there, and I highly recommend checking it out, because she does a fab job exploring the ideas of reincarnation that the writers are bringing into play this season, and makes a very compelling argument for this.

And once you start putting those pieces in, suddenly Nancy and Ace behaving as they are over the ghost and Tristan begins to make even more sense than memory erasure and heartbreak. And honestly, that’s not a sentence I ever thought I’d say.

But the thread has been found - how can you find a thread to pull when you don’t even know it’s missing waiting to be discovered? Against all the odds the photo, the timeline, it’s starting to emerge. And we know how Nancy gets once there’s a mystery. That desperate all consuming urge to uncover the truth, the light, the justice for a town steeped in darkness and secrets, for the people caught up in the web, for herself.

#nancy drew #nancy drew cw #nancy x ace #ace [redacted] #cw nancy drew #nace #nancy drew spoilers #nancy drew analysis #nancy drew meta #naceedit #nancy drew 4x11 #nancy drew 4.11 #the sinner's sacrifice #my two favourite idiots #i've connected the dots #well #some of them #maybe #if you squint

[chrisevansonly]

Lavender Moonlight

Pairing: Harry Styles x Female Reader

Summary: Soft moonlight, fresh lavender scented blankets right from the dryer and your favourite person in the world, there is nowhere else you'd rather be

Warnings: non, just fluffy goodness, tbh this is straight up a comfort fic tbh

A/N: my first full harry fic, tbh I had fun writing this, I haven't written for him before at least in a while, and I decided why not start now even if this is horrible, yes I hate my own writing lmao

Word Count: 775

There was nothing better than the slight smell of lavender that spilled through the stitching of your comforter, you knew those dryer sheets would come in handy when you bought them. The moon had started to cast a gentle light through your curtains which filled the room with a sense of added comfort, the only thing missing was your boyfriend. Harry had another week and a few days off before he’d be heading back to California to play a few more shows. You felt like you’d just gotten him back after tour, but you loved watching him perform, supporting him was something you would always do no matter what. The shows you got to attend were just an added bonus. 

You heard the door shut downstairs followed by the click of the lock, seemingly back from his mission to get snacks for your movie night. It was Harry’s turn to pick, and you weren’t sure what he had in mind tonight

“Baby? Did you fall asleep again?”

You let out a laugh remembering the one and only time you accidentally fell asleep while he was downstairs searching for popcorn 

“That was one time and one time only mister!”

Harry appeared at the door to your shared room a smile on his face as he laughed quietly 

“Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t happen again darling’

“Well, here I am very much awake and ready for snacks”

You watched as he changed into a pair of sweatpants and tossed his hoodie in the laundry hamper, throwing the tote bag filled with different candy, chocolate, and anything else you could imagine, right beside your head 

“Hey now don’t concuss your loving girlfriend!”

Harry walked over leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, his hands holding your face 

“Hmm suppose that wouldn’t be very good, would it?”

Shaking your head no you couldn’t help but admire him, taking a moment to memorize his face and all his features knowing you’d be going without it for a little while again. He got into bed beside you and moved the bag of snacks so he could tuck you into his side, he smelt slightly of his aftershave which when mixed with the subtle lavender from your blankets, was enough to have you falling asleep 

“H?”

He hummed hearing your sleepy voice cut through his scrolling on Netflix 

“I love you”

He moved a little beside you before placing a kiss on your forehead 

“I love you more dove”

“I’m going to miss you when you leave”

Opening your eyes again you looked up at him, a smile on his face as he stared at you with this sense of adoration, you’d never experienced with anyone before you’d met Harry. There was this sense of comfort the two of you provided each other, sometimes without even knowing it, you two fit like puzzle pieces, that’s what his mom would always say to you. You spent a lot of time with Anne, even more when Harry was gone, whether it was visits to local markets, days spent baking together, even just spending time drinking tea or wine and chatting about everything and anything happening in your lives

“Hey…where’d you go baby...?”

“Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you and your family in my life, classic late night sappy stuff”

Harry chuckled

“I love your late-night sappy stuff, and I know we’re just as lucky to have you in our lives too”

You’d noticed he’d selected Little Women to watch, and you just shook your head knowing it was your favourite movie, deep down Harry loved making you happy, and it totally wasn’t because the movie itself had started to grow on him 

“You know it’s supposed to be your pick tonight my love”

“Yeah, but you love this movie, and I love you so we’re watching it”

He hummed appreciatively when you leaned up to kiss him, pouring every ounce of love into the kiss, when you pulled back you ran your fingers through his curls softly 

“Who’s being sappy now…?”

He laughed and the room soon sounded with yours as well, and in this moment, there was absolutely nowhere you’d rather be, something about being cuddled up under layers of warmth with the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with gave a whole new meaning to the term love of your life. Because here, in this moment, and in this time, you wished to experience life with Harry in every single lifetime and every single decade, you were his just as he was yours, and there was nothing either of you would change about that. 

#harry styles x female reader #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x girlfriend reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles #rueswrites

[spooo00oky]

Siren’s Spell

Chapter three.

Pairing: siren!Wooyoung x reader

Warnings: swearing, Thalassophobia, suggestive themes, surprisingly no cliff hanger this time, more to come!

Word Count: 8k+

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I’m so sorry this took so long to be finished but life has been so crazy for me lately. Life is still pretty hectic but I’ll be trying to write chapter 4 whenever I can! I hope you all enjoy this new chapter it’s shorter than the others have been but I still hope you enjoy this one! Please reblog to show your support it means a lot to me!

Editors note: hey if there is anything wrong with the format please send spooky a message because its kinda acting weird and ill fix it if it actually needs fixing thanks <3 - AlbedosFox

༄

Chapter III

I began to push away from Wooyoung as soon as we surfaced in the den. He wasn’t even bothered as I pushed against his chest, he simply set me on the edge of the pool and I quickly crawled away from him. He followed after me. He didn’t even bother to put on pants before he was grabbing my hand and spinning me around to face him. 

I yanked my hand free and glared at him. “Don’t touch me.” 

Wooyoung rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Are you seriously still mad over me not letting you back up to the surface? It’s for your own protection.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me, that wasn’t part of the agreement! We agreed that I would be allowed trips to the surface if I come back here every night, you don’t get to take that away from me now.” 

“That was before you were attacked by a group of males. If I hadn’t been there, who knows what could’ve happened!” He started, taking a step towards me that I mirrored with my own step back. “I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I had known that it would be this dangerous for you.”

“You think the giant sea monster that likes to peep in through the hole in the ceiling is any safer than a bunch of males on the surface? Wooyoung, I’ve dealt with that sort of thing before I had even met you. I would’ve been fine without your help, I have friends to help me with that sort of thing.”

He rolled his eyes. “You mean the demon and the shifter? They weren’t even there with you when this happened, you were all alone.” 

“With bystanders all around! Someone would’ve stepped in at some point,” I argued. My heart was racing in anger and my chest and face felt hot. I couldn’t let him win this argument, not this one. “You can’t keep me down here forever or else I’ll start to resent you.”

“You’ll come around eventually when you realize I’m doing this for your own well being,” he said, his expression stern. “You’re my mate, you are my first priority.” 

“Use that term loosely because we’re still figuring things out Wooyoung. You barely know me, and I barely know you. You don’t get to do the things you’ve done and suddenly act like you can run my life and make decisions for me!” 

“Hello.”

To say I nearly jumped out of my skin is an understatement. The new voice startled me so bad I nearly stumbled and hit the floor. Wooyoung didn’t even flinch, in fact, he only sighed before he turned to the source of the voice. I followed his gaze and saw one of the prettiest males of my life wading in the hole in the floor, and he looked between the two of us with a puzzled expression. “I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” His voice was deep and rich and I was instantly drawn to it. Wooyooung’s was pretty but this newcomer’s voice was downright dangerous. 

“No you’re not Yeosang. My mate and I were just discussing some things,” Wooyoung said and it clicked. This was who he wanted me to meet, his friend that he thought I would get along with. 

What Wooyoung said processed in my mind and I rolled my eyes. It was no doubt that Yeosang had heard everything from his expression but if Wooyoung wanted to keep matters like this private then so be it. 

“Pretty loud discussion. I could hear you two before I was even near your home.” Yeosang moved to pull himself onto the edge of the pool and I caught a flash of green scales before I was averting my gaze to the wall. In true siren fashion, Yeosang was naked. Wooyoung grumbled something under his breath before he was leaving the room and coming back a moment later with something in his hand. He tossed the pair of sweatpants towards his friend and moved to step in front of me, shielding my eyes with his body. 

“There are humans present.” 

“Right, sorry.” Yeosang directed his words to me as he put the pants on. It wasn’t until he was clothed did Wooyoung move and Yeosang gave me a charming smile. “Nice to meet you, I’m Yeosang.” 

I could feel some of my earlier anger melting away in his presence and I gave him a kind smile. “Nice to meet you as well. I’m y/n.” 

“Oh you’re mad at me but you won’t be mad at him?” 

I shot Wooyoung with a dirty look. “He hasn’t done anything wrong unlike you.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Wooyoung what did you do?” Yeosang said with a sigh. His shoulders slumped with a weight that I could only assume came from dealing with Wooyoung for many years. 

“I didn’t do anything!” Wooyoung tried defending himself. 

“That’s on me for asking you what you’ve done wrong,” Yeosang said before he turned to me instead. This caused Wooyoung to cry out indignantly. “What did this idiot do?” 

“He won’t take me back up to the surface after an incident that happened on my way back to him today,” I summed it up for Yeosang. I was already starting to like him, this was someone that could put Wooyoung in his place. Hopefully. 

Yeosang’s eyes widened and he turned to Wooyoung, who had the nerve to at least look guilty. “Wooyoung! You can’t just do that! Humans need sunlight to survive, they can get sick without it!” 

“I’ll bring the sunlight down here to her.” 

Yeosang wasn’t amused by that answer. “You’re being stupid. Do I need to bring the others into this? I’ll come back with Seonghwa if I need to.”

Wooyoung huffed. “Like he’d do anything.” 

“I’ll bring Jongho and Yunho too.” 

Wooyoung paused. “She was attacked by males on the surface Yeo!” He clearly didn’t like the idea of the other two people being brought into this. 

“You don’t think that would’ve happened even in Socix during mating season? Use what little brain power you have, Wooyoung and think this through.” 

“You guys have a mating season?” I asked, that small piece of information catching my attention. 

Yeosang opened his mouth to answer before he gave Wooyoung a sharp look. Wooyoung was looking at the ground now, and it dawned on me that this was something I should’ve already known. How much was he not telling me? “You didn’t tell her that this is mating season?”

“Wait, mating season is right now?” I said aloud, my mind reeling a bit. Some beings on the surface had mating seasons at different points in the year, that I already knew. I also knew that those beings acted differently during these times as was expected. Judgment could become clouded and rash decisions were made aplenty. If Wooyoung and Yeosang were in their mating season, was me being Wooyoung’s mate a rash decision and it was only his instincts guiding him? Had I been the only person that would actually talk to him on the surface and he was drawn to me due to that? The severity of the incident earlier fully hit me then, and those males that had grabbed me were lucky they walked away alive and unharmed from the altercation. 

I suddenly couldn’t look at Wooyoung right now, my gaze focused on the floor. I really didn’t want to be here right now. Anywhere but here. Was this all because of an instinct fueled endeavor on Wooyoung’s part? Did he even care about my being or was I just the closest warm body in his mind? I felt a little sick right about now. 

“Y/n, don’t. I can practically see the thoughts running through your mind and I can smell you,” Wooyoung gently scolded me. He moved to grab my arm and I yanked it away before he could even touch me. He looked hurt at the sudden action but I was beyond caring at this point. 

“Why shouldn’t I be thinking like this? You’re keeping things from me, Wooyoung, and I only found out about it because your friend brought it up on top of what you’re threatening me with!” 

I felt tears prick my eyes and I couldn’t stay in this room any longer. I made a speedy escape and I heard footsteps attempt to follow me but I didn’t stick around long enough to see who it was. I hurried to the bedroom and Yeosang’s voice was the last thing I heard before I shut the door behind me. “Let her cool down a bit before you apologize.” 

I curled up on the bed, the tears already making my vision blur. I buried myself beneath the covers as the first tear fell and absorbed into the pillow, my chest hurting with the thoughts that were running through my mind. I could hear Yeosang and Wooyoung arguing over the sound of my sniffles but I didn’t pay attention to their words. I didn’t want to. I suddenly felt so stupid for believing that Wooyoung had a genuine interest in me and for not realizing earlier that a small part of me was hoping that this would work out. I suddenly felt so alone down here and I wish I had Mingi or San or even Belle here with me right now. Someone to bring a sense of normalcy to my life right about now. Hongjoong’s presence would also be appreciated as well, a familial connection would be great right about now. He’d scold me for being dumb and jumping into things, but I’d even take that at this point. I could hear San saying “I told you so” right about now, but he wouldn’t mean it. He’d say it in the softest voice ever while hugging me and wiping my tears away, and Mingi would come by later with my favorite snacks and food and would try his hardest to make me smile. I miss my friends so much right now. 

I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I was woken up to the sound of the door opening slowly. I could practically feel eyes on me from beneath the mountain of blankets I had piled on top of me. I held my breath to listen for footsteps but I didn’t hear anything. I nearly jumped when I felt the blankets begin to shift on top of me. Stupid sirens and their silent footsteps. 

I didn’t move until I saw light. I was looking up at Wooyoung now, and he frowned even more when he saw my eyes that were no doubt red and puffy from crying. He looked guilty and upset and I wished I had listened to what Yeosang and him talked about now. 

“I think we need to talk,” he said softly, moving more of the blankets out of the way so that he could pull me out of them. I let him move me into a sitting position before I settled in comfortably. I noticed he had shut the door behind him and I realized that Yeosang was still here if that was the case. He was giving us a semblance of privacy because I knew Yeosang could very well hear everything that was said in here. 

I let out a small sigh before nodding. I felt more level headed than I had before, my anger cooled down until there was only a dull ache of pain in my chest. I was a little worried about what he was going to say next. I was worried that my fears were going to be confirmed. It was one thing to think such things but it was a whole other to hear them confirmed out loud. “I think so too. Please don’t sugar coat anything, I need to know everything Wooyoung. Is all of this purely because it’s mating season for you?” 

Wooyoung immediately shook his head. “It’s not, I promise. Siren’s don’t go crazy at the sight of the first female like others do, it’s not part of our nature. Yeosang can confirm this. I made you my mate because I genuinely like you, even though I could’ve gone about things differently.” 

I felt a weight suddenly lift off of my chest but there was still a small part of me that didn’t believe him. Did he really mean it or was he only saying this to keep himself in my good graces? I wasn’t going to stick around if this was all due to his instincts telling him to be a horn dog. 

I must’ve had a look on my face because Wooyoung was quick to follow up on that statement. “I know you don’t believe me, and I don’t blame you,” he started, “and I’ll spend a long time making you believe me if that’s what it takes.” He looked down at his hands then, almost like he was ashamed. “And I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier. It was wrong of me to say those things and to say that you aren’t allowed back up to the surface just because I was jealous and overreacting.” His words sounded a little rehearsed and I had the sneaking suspicion that Yeosang really knocked some sense into him and made sure he had it all straight in his mind before he came to talk to me. 

“And?” 

Wooyoung pouted before he finished his statement. “And I won’t act like that again I promise.”

“And?” 

“And I’m sorry for how I behaved when I visited you at work. There was no reason for me to act like that because we’re still figuring things out like we discussed.”

“And?” 

Wooyoung’s brows scrunched up in confusion. He was obviously racking his brain for anything else he needed to apologize for. I almost felt bad for teasing him like this until his next words came out of his mouth. “And I’m sorry for being so hot?” 

I rolled my eyes and pushed him away, making him laugh but his eyes were still wary. He was waiting to hear what I had to say in regards to his apology and I pretended to really think it over. I could practically hear the whine building up in his throat as I drew it out, and he began to squirm nervously. It was a nice change of pace to see him being the one to wait on me for once, anxious to hear my verdict. The roles had reversed from earlier. 

“I forgive you. But,” I said quickly at his hopeful look. He settled back down onto the bed and looked at me with sparkling eyes. It was enough to melt some of my resolve. He looked so much like a puppy at that moment. A huge, aquatic murder puppy. “We’re still working on things, so the previous ground rules still apply. You also will never threaten me with not bringing me back up to the surface again, and you won’t act like an asshole when I’m around other males because we may be labeled as mates but we’re far from it, got it?” 

He nodded enthusiastically. He opened his mouth to say something but I held up my hand. “‘I’m not finished.” He settled back down again and motioned for me to continue. “You will tell me everything that comes with being your mate, the good, the bad and the ugly. I need to know these things so I know what to expect. Obviously there were some things being kept from me for reasons that I don’t know.” 

Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something before he closed it and sighed. “I was keeping those things from you because I thought I’d scare you off with that knowledge. You were so scared of being down here in the first place that I thought if I told you everything at first you’d demand to go back up to the surface and I’d never see you again.”

I felt a little guilty because he had a good point. I was still a little on edge being here in the den now and the strange sounds that periodically echoed off of the walls didn’t help my nerves. It’s gotten better but this wasn’t exactly home to me and he knew it despite his best efforts to make it seem like it could be. I couldn’t even say how I would’ve reacted if he had told me everything up front, but I know I would’ve still appreciated honesty above anything else. Honesty would have helped us avoid situations like this. 

I sighed. “I’m sorry too then because I could’ve been more vocal about what I needed to know about all of this.” He went to speak and I cut him off before he could. “Don’t even say it because it’s true. Instead of letting things slide I should’ve been more vocal. From now on I’m going to ask more questions and you had better answer them.” 

“Oh, I was going to say that you should’ve been asking questions this whole time instead of holding back,” he said and broke out in laughter as I moved to pinch his arm. He grabbed my hand to stop me and I scowled at him. 

“Could you at least humor me?”

“No I don’t think I will because seeing you irritated is cute.”

I groaned and pulled my hand out of his grip. He let go and gave me a teasing grin before he spoke again. “So since you have so many questions for me, I’ll answer all that I can with the help of Yeosangie. But in order to do that we need to head to the kitchen because I made an apology dinner and it’s currently getting cold.”

“Fine fine let’s go eat dinner,” I said before I moved to get up from the bed. He helped me stand before walking out with me. I saw Yeosang sitting at the table and I gave him a small smile. A small part of me was embarrassed for the way I acted and stormed out but I reasoned with myself that it was a valid reaction. I was suddenly hit with a lot of things at once. “Sorry you had to be here for all of this.”

Yeosang waved away my apology. “Don’t be. Someone had to knock some sense into this idiot. If it wasn’t me it would’ve been one of the others.”

“How many others are there?” I asked out of curiosity. I took a seat at the table and Woyooung set a plate of food in front of me before he sat down as well. My stomach rumbled at the smell of the meal and I was pleased to see that it was one of my favorite dishes. 

“There are three others in our Current. It’s me, Wooyoung, Seonghwa, Yunho, and Jongho that make up the group,”  Yeosang explained. I dimly remember someone mentioning that a group of sirens was called a “Current” due to the fact that they could change whole ocean tides. 

“Will I meet them one day?” 

“Maybe one day, but let’s take things slow. You’re only just meeting Yeosangie,” Wooyoung said after he had sipped his drink. I nodded in agreement and took a bite of food and saw Wooyoung begin to eat out of the corner of my eye. 

“So Wooyoung and I are mates. What exactly does that entail? There’s more to it than what was previously thought, obviously,” I asked. There wasn’t any bite to my tone now, only curiosity and the eagerness to know more. 

“Wooyoung already said this but I’ll explain a little more. There is a bond between you now; the mating bond. It snapped into place when the courting ritual was complete and the ancient magic surrounding mating bonds sealed it,” Yeosang explained. Wooyoung provided the helpful information that it was completed when I returned his affections, aka when I gave him the coffee. “It’s not a bond like other beings where you are now one and you share thoughts and feelings between the two of you, but there is that connection of “you are mine’ and ‘I am yours’ now. Wooyoung is going through a lot of raging emotions right now that comes with the fresh bond, one of them being a heightened sense of protectiveness. It doesn’t excuse his actions but I want to put that out there to further explain why he’s more of an idiot now than he usually is.” 

Wooyoung whined at the jab and Yeosang snickered, looking at his friend with nothing but affection on his eyes. I’ve only known Yeosang for a few hours but even I could tell that he truly loved his friend despite the constant teasing between the two. 

“So there is a bond here, but I won’t feel it because I’m a human, correct?”

“That’s correct. You may experience similar emotions the longer you’re near him, but you’ll never experience the full extent of them. You’ll experience a few different changes now that I think about it.” He paused before he turned to look at him. “Have you explained the mating rituals to her yet?” 

I nearly choked on my food and Wooyoung was even struggling to keep his composure. Yeosang watched with a raised brow at our reactions to the question, waiting patiently until we had settled down once again. “I take that as a no.” 

“I never exactly had the chance to,” Wooyoung sheepishly admitted. He was suddenly very interested in the food before him. 

Yeosang nodded in understanding. “You know that some beings on the surface leave mating bites on their partners to lay claim, right?”

I nodded, my hand instinctively went to my neck. Wooyoung tracked the movement with his eyes but averted his gaze when I met it. 

“Sirens do that as well, but there are added steps before that. The mating mark is the final step so to speak, it officiates the bond between the two of you. Before that though you both will get an earring of a gem stone you both choose, it would be the equivalent of an engagement ring in human terms. This is an ancient tradition to symbolize that you are each other’s jewel forever or something along those lines, I don’t exactly remember,” Yeosang said with a shrug. “Seonghwa might know. He’s a romantic.” 

Wooyoung snorted. “Spends all his time dreaming of love but hasn’t found it yet.” 

“You found a mate only because I didn’t know better.” 

Wooyoung sputtered at my comment as Yeosang burst into a fit of laughter, the sweet sound bouncing off of the stone walls. I smirked at Wooyoung and he pouted at me but made no remark back. He knew I was right. 

“You were right, I do like her,” Yeosang said once his laughter had calmed down. He wiped a tear from his eye and he gave me a dazzling smile. “We can spend time together whenever you want.”

“Should’ve known you two would connect over bullying me,” Wooyoung grumbled as he stood and took our empty plates. He set them in the sink and began to wash them. “I had good intentions when I introduced you two and this is the thanks I get?” 

“Thank you Wooyoung!” I said teasingly and I only got more grumbling in response. 

“You had mentioned that I’d experience some different changes as well. What did you mean by that?” I asked despite exhaustion starting to pull at my eyes. I was still tired after my crying session earlier. How late was it? I’d have to make a note to bring a clock down here. 

Yeosang opened his mouth but paused, his dark eyes moving to Wooyoung for a moment before he focused on me again. “I won’t explain everything because some things are best left for him to speak to you about, but I will say that you’ve already begun to experience some changes. Two of them being the fact that you’re able to tolerate the deep depths of the river and the cold temperatures of the water as well. A normal human would’ve been crushed to the pressure or died of hypothermia whenever they entered the water.” 

In the chaos that had been me waking up here and sorting everything out, I hadn’t even thought things such as that. I didn’t think twice about hopping into the water and making the trip up to the surface and back again. This was partially due to my anxieties with other things in the water but I was shocked that I had jumped in like I was jumping into a kid’s pool. “Why is that? Is it because of the mating bond?” 

“Yes and no. The mating bond will affect you in many different ways, but sirens are also beings infused with a very ancient form of magic,” Yeosang explained. 

“Think of it like this,” Wooyoung spoke up from the sink, turning to face them now. “I’m a flame on a stove and you’re a pan. I can heat up the pan to make it hot, but the pan never turns into a flame. The pan remains a pan but it’s hot like the flame is.” 

“For lack of a better way to explain it, yes, that analogy works,” Yeosang stated. “You’ll always be a human but with a few added benefits.” 

“Oh,” I said thoughtfully. I’ve only been around Wooyoung for a few weeks and I’ve already begun to experience some of these benefits. What other benefits could there be? Would I start sprouting gills to be able to breath underwater as well? “Would being around you also affect my lifespan?” It would make sense after all. 

Yeosang hesitated to respond and I realized the implications of my question. It could be taken as I would only use Wooyoung to live forever if what I was guessing was true. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

“It would. You won’t notice it now because the bond is still fresh and you’re young, but later on you’ll start to notice that you’ve slowly stopped aging before ceasing it all together,” Wooyoung explained, giving me a serious look. I knew the meaning behind that look and it was “don’t tell anyone”. The expression wasn’t accusatory and I appreciated Wooyoung’s good faith in me that I wouldn’t abuse this benefit and stay with him only for that. It made sense that this was somewhat of a secret that had to be kept. Sirens were already beautiful as is, I remember the stares Wooyoung got whenever he was on the surface. If others knew that being with them came with the benefit of immortality there would be dozens of people throwing themselves at the first siren they saw. I highly doubted that all the sirens were as kind as Wooyoung and Yeosang were. 

“Don’t give away all of our secrets now, Wooyoung,” Yeosang sighed. 

“She can know, she won’t spread it around. I know she won’t. She’s only asking because she’s best friends with a demon and a shifter,” he defended me and I was grateful for it. It was true. Both San and Mingi were immortal while I was mortal; my lifespan was not even a fraction compared to theirs. If I could change that I would in a heartbeat if it meant I didn’t have to say goodbye to them in the end.  

“You have a talent for building relationships with anything that’s not a human, don’t you,” Yeosang said with a teasing grin. 

“That’s not true. I’m best friends with my cousin, Hongjoong, and he’s human.” 

“Family doesn’t count.” 

I thought about it. “I’m using my job as an excuse. There’s only a handful of humans at my job, and it was tedious just getting an interview with Belle.”

“What do you do for a job anyway?” Yeosang asked, leaning forward in his seat. Wooyoung had returned to his seat next to me and his eyes were on me as well. I wasn’t surprised that he was curious about my career, he visited my building today after all. There weren’t many details spoken, only that it was important to me. 

“I’m a fashion designer for Lunar Couture,” I explained. At their blank looks I realized that they had no idea what that was. “It’s a high end designer label up top. It’s really hard to be hired by them, especially if you’re a human.”

Yeosang made a noise of understanding before he turned on Wooyoung. “You were going to just take that all away? She’s worked hard for this!” 

Wooyoung sputtered at the sudden accusation and fumbled with a response for a few minutes. He settled on looking guilty for a moment. “I thought it was just to make money to take care of herself at first, and I told her I would provide everything she needed. This is the first I’m actually hearing more details on what it’s like.” 

Yeosang pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is why we ask more questions before we just go dashing up to the surface.” He gave me an apologetic look. “You’ll have to excuse him, he got excited when I started discussing surface customs with him a few weeks ago and he wanted to visit as soon as he could. He jumped the gun, clearly, before I could explain more things with him. It’ll be a learning process. Wooyoung, the surface isn’t like Socix where you need to hunt everyday. Y/n has a career and it’s obviously very important to her, you can’t just take that away from her.” 

“I know that now!” Wooyoung snapped before he turned to me with a small pout. “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful concerning your career. I’m sorry.” 

“I forgive you, you didn’t know.” I gave him a small smile. “This means I’m going back tomorrow morning right?” 

“Yes it does,” Wooyoung confirmed and I felt my smile grow. 

“By the way, how do you know so much about surface dweller things?” I asked Yeosang. 

“I have a friend up top who I talk to regularly, as well as making a few trips myself,” he explained. Wooyoung whined and Yeosang narrowed his eyes at him. “You don’t come because you can’t handle it. I’d like to shield my friend from you all for as long as I can.”

Wooyoung grumbled something under his breath as he slumped back into his chair. Another yawn slipped out and I sleepily rubbed my eyes, the day truly catching up with me now. 

“I think I should get going. Humans need a lot of sleep to stay healthy Wooyoung,” Yeosang told him and he waved away his advice. 

“I know that, I haven’t kept her awake late.” 

Yeosang nodded his approval before turning to me again with a smile. “It was nice to meet you, I hope to see you again soon. If you ever need me, just call out my name. I’m usually close enough to be within hearing range.”

I gave him a tired smile. “I appreciate it, thank you. We’ll have to hang out again soon.”

Yeosang gave one final wave before he was diving into the pool in the other room. Once he was fully submerged the pair of sweatpants he had on landed on the floor with a wet slap before the water stilled completely. 

Wooyoung’s hand on my shoulder brought me back to the kitchen table and I looked at him in confusion. He smiled and stood from his chair, helping me up as well. “It’s time to get you to bed if you have work the next morning.” 

I nodded and let him lead me to the bedroom. He pulled out pajamas for me and stepped out of the room to let me get changed. I appreciated the privacy as I changed before crawling into bed. He heard the ruffle of the covers and came back into the room, nearly diving in beside me with a smile on his face. He made no move to hold me this time, my body was still and my eyes were already closed. He didn’t even need to sing to me tonight, my mind not even registering the noises outside of the house as it was too tired to even care. Sleep came quickly tonight, to which I was thankful for. 

༄

I didn’t want to get up the next morning. It was so warm and cozy in the bed that it was hard to even open my eyes. The pillow was soft and I couldn’t help but nuzzle my head into it with a happy sigh, a smile creeping onto my face. It wasn’t until the pillow shifted beneath me that I cracked an eye open, seeing what caused the disturbance. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” 

My eyes widened completely at the sound of Wooyoung’s voice and I slowly realized the pillow I had been nuzzling my head into was, in fact, Wooyoung’s clothed chest. Once my groggy brain put the pieces together I quickly sat up. I stared down at Wooyoung with mild horror but he only smirked as he watched me. Of course he would’ve enjoyed the entire thing. His smirk only grew into a full smug grin when I felt my face start to get hot. 

“Why were you cuddling with me?” I demanded from him, refusing to believe that I had been the one to initiate it. There was no way. He had to have pulled me closer during the night and we woke up like this. I did nothing to start this!

“I can smell your embarrassment,” he snickered as he sat up too. “That was all you, though. You’re really cute when you’re cuddly, you know that? I went to go and make breakfast and you grabbed onto me when I moved. It was the cutest thing when you started mumbling in your sleep.”  

“You’re lying.” 

Wooyoung’s grin turned downright sinister. “I tried to push you off so you could still sleep and I could start on breakfast but you wouldn’t let go. I’m only a man, y/n. I would never pass up on the opportunity to have my mate cuddling up to me like that.”

“Shut up!” 

“You know you drool in your sleep too?” 

His laughter rang throughout the room as I threw a pillow at his retreating back. He was still laughing even as he entered the kitchen and I flopped back into the bed with a groan. He’d never let me live this down now. Why had I done that? Clearly it had been subconscious I had made sure there was a healthy distance between us before I fell asleep. I’m blaming the bond even though I don’t know how else the bond is going to affect me, but Yeosang said I would experience some changes. That’s what it was and nothing else. 

I groaned again. Was it a bad thing though? It was embarrassing, there was no doubt about that. We were mates though, these kinds of things were almost expected. It was going to happen sooner or later, for us it just happened to be sooner. Despite the deal we had it was me that ended up overstepping. Wooyoung didn’t seem upset though, far from it. 

“Breakfast is ready, cuddle bug!” Wooyoung shouted from the kitchen, breaking me out of the trance I was in with my face smushed into the pillows.  

I sighed and slowly got up and trudged to the kitchen, that smirk still on his face when I sat down at the table. He set a plate of food in front of me and took his own seat. He waited as he always did for me to take a bite and show that I liked it before he began to dig in. He was practically glowing right now and I decided maybe it wasn’t so bad that we cuddled if this was the reaction it got out of him. 

“I can’t wait to tell Yeosang that you cuddled up to me this morning.” 

“Don’t you dare.” 

“Why not? It’s adorable.” 

“It’s not!” 

“You were asleep during it. You don't know that it wasn’t adorable from my perspective,” he said with a grin as he polished off his food and took his plate to the sink. 

I groaned one last time before deciding I’d ignore his remarks for the time being. He was clearly never going to let it go no matter what I said so the silent treatment it was for the time being.

I finished my meal and set my plate in the sink, giving Wooyoung a curious glance out of the corner of my eye. He took the plate from my hand and nodded towards the bedroom door, starting to wash my plate. “Go ahead and get ready and we can get going.”

I smiled brightly and nearly skipped to the bedroom to get ready for work. A small part of me had been worried that Wooyoung would have a change of heart after a night’s rest and would decide to keep me down here. He had been agreeable under the watchful eye of Yeosang last night, but he could have made a sudden decision now that the other siren was gone. To say I was delighted that he was making good on his promise was an understatement. The smile didn’t leave my face even as I walked out of the bedroom and to the room that Wooyoung was waiting in, already sitting on the edge of the water and his tail making small waves. He looked up when I entered and noticed the grin immediately. 

“Someone’s excited.” 

“I am, I thought you would change your mind if I’m being honest.”

He rolled his eyes before he lowered himself into the water below, and I had to quickly avert my gaze from his arms and the way they bulged with the motion. “I’m not going to change my mind on anything that was discussed last night, that I promise. I’ve come to my senses on subjects like this and last night won’t happen again.” 

“Yeosang really did get through to you. I had expected a little more resistance.” 

 “Oh I still don’t like it, but that’s just instincts talking. I’m not going to control you and your every move,” he explained as he watched me carefully get into the water. “You’re not an object, you’re my equal. I mean it when I say I won’t make that mistake again.” 

Wooyoung kept good on that promise as well. The day after our argument went by just like any other day, he dropped me off at the dock, using his magic to remove the water from me, and was waiting there after my day at work as well. He didn’t complain about San and Mingi’s scents on me. He only asked about how my day went as he cooked dinner for us that night. It was a very domestic moment and I felt lighter than I have in a while, like a weight was taken off of my shoulders. 

A new routine started up the weeks after the incident as well. Woyooung was the designated chef out of the two of us, and I made it a point to wash the dishes that were used. The first time I had done it Wooyoung tried to refuse, but I explained that it was only fair since he had done all of the cooking ever since I arrived at the den. It would also drive me crazy if I didn’t do something around to help. He begrudgingly let me start doing the dishes but soon enough we fell into a comfortable pattern. Eventually I offered to help decorate the den but he adamantly refused to allow that. He reminded me that this was still very much part of the courting process, and under normal circumstances it would’ve been fully furnished before my arrival. He insisted he needed to finish it himself before seeking my approval and I left it at that. 

Another unforeseen habit that developed over the weeks after the argument was the incessant need to be close to Wooyoung. This had started during the middle of a meeting at work and I had chucked it up to missing the familiar presence of the siren, as he had become a staple in my life now. It wasn’t until I caught a whiff of the clean scent of the river and had the urge to dive into the water where I knew he was that I knew something was different. After a discussion over dinner with Wooyoung and a lot of teasing, it was revealed that this was an effect of the bond. He’s felt it this entire time but it was taking a slower pace with me. I didn’t hear the end of it until I threatened to smother him with a pillow while we went to bed that same night. 

Cuddling was also becoming more common than not. It was a gradual build up, one night a week turned to two nights a week I would wake up pressed to Wooyoung’s side or chest. Now more nights than not I would wake up with his arms wrapped around me and a pleased purr rumbling near my ear. Wooyoung never complained though, quite the opposite actually. He would tease me for it at the start of these changes, now he doesn’t even mention it. It’s become a habit at this point and a very welcomed one in his eyes. It did benefit me as well so I couldn’t complain either. The nagging feeling to be close to him that would randomly appear during the day didn’t happen as often, if at all. Wooyoung was also warm and comforting to be around, and his presence relaxed me when the sounds of the river around the den spooked me. He didn’t need to lull me to sleep with his voice as much anymore, his mere presence doing wonders to my sleep schedule now. When I brought it up to him he puffed out his chest and boasted as he told Yeosang about it the next day. Yeosang and I both rolled our eyes at that. 

Work was picking up more and more with each week we drew nearer to the show. Belle was literally running around to make sure everything was ready and running smoothly, and San had taken to teleporting to the rooms he needed to be in instead of walking anymore. Mingi demanded a ban on teleporting because he had been on the receiving end of plenty of jump scares due to this. I was no better, it was bad enough I could barely hear my friends walking towards my office and it was only worse when I couldn’t hear them at all. San also liked scaring us a bit as well. It was to “keep the blood pumping” in his words. Bastard.

It was a week away from the show that I met the rest of Wooyoung’s Current. The day had been long and tiring and Wooyoung picked up on it just by looking at me when I arrived at the docks. He gave me a sympathetic smile and I nearly flopped into his arms once I lowered myself into the water. He didn’t say anything for a moment, giving me a moment to recharge as he held me and soothingly rubbed my back. I didn’t question anything because this felt comforting and natural. It could’ve been partially due to the bond but we have gotten closer over these past weeks as well, and I needed this. He gently reminded me to hold my breath and that was the only thing spoken before we were diving beneath the waves and heading back to the den. 

I sucked in air once we surfaced, wiping the water away to clear my vision. When I was able to see I met a pair of dark eyes that were already looking at me. A pair of eyes that were definitely not Wooyoung’s. 

In hindsight I should’ve known that the only ones inside of the den were Wooyoung and I and whoever else Wooyoung deemed trustworthy. I should’ve known that the other presence was a welcomed one if they were allowed this close but in the heat of the moment I didn’t recognize that other than someone I didn’t know was here.

My scream echoed off of the stone walls and Wooyoung instinctively pulled me closer to his chest before he relaxed and laughed. The cheerful sound made me look up at him in confusion to see that he was already smiling down at me. He turned to look over his shoulder and started to speak in a foreign language that consisted of varying clicking noises. The newcomer seemed to not like what he said because he scoffed and slapped Wooyoung’s shoulder, making him laugh more. 

“You’ll have to excuse Yunho, he's been curious ever since Wooyoung told us about you,” a different voice said and I whipped my head to locate the source. Two more sirens had appeared behind me, one of them giving me a kind smile as I stared with wide eyes. “I’m Seonghwa, this is Jongho, and the one that startled you is Yunho.” 

Wooyoung set me on the ledge of the pool and I took in the sirens better. They were all pretty, that was a standard for them though but Yunho was probably the biggest siren I’ve ever seen. I thought Wooyoung would be considered one of the biggest but I was proven wrong as Yunho gave me a sheepish grin. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you heard me come in. I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

I shook my head and waved away his concern. “I’m fine I wasn’t expecting guests is all.”

“You all need to announce yourselves before you just pop up now,” Wooyoung chided them. He glanced down at me. “Today might not be the best night for visitors as well, y/n had a long day and she’s tired.”

“No no I’m fine,” I quickly said, grabbing all of their attention. I knew I was going to be too stressed to properly rest and unwind, so a distraction was welcomed. I needed something to take my mind off of work right about now. “You can stay and visit, I don’t mind.” 

“Are you sure?” Wooyoung gave me a concerned look. I felt my chest warm and I gave him a reassuring smile and nod. Wooyoungg’s gaze didn’t waver to see if he could detect any hint of a lie but when he found none he nodded and turned to the pink haired siren. “Did you all bring clothes or do I need to provide for you free loaders?” 

Seonghwa nodded and held up what looked like a waterproof bag. It was definitely not a design I have seen before so it must be a Socix specialty. “We all brought stuff. Also speak respectfully, I’m your elder,” Seonghwa scolded him as he moved to pull himself up onto the ledge of the pool. His tail was a beautiful royal blue color that shimmered in the light of the room and it was a little hard to take my eyes off of it for a moment. I looked away when I saw Wooyoung’s narrowed gaze on me and I giggled before I moved to stand up. “I’m going to get cleaned up. I’ll be back!” I called over my shoulder before heading into the bathroom. 

The warm water of the bath made me sigh and my tense muscles loosen. It definitely took an edge off of my stress, but it wasn’t going to be enough to fully relax. I worked through cleaning up and soon enough I was changed into comfier clothes and reappearing in the living room area. Everyone was seated on the mismatched furniture there, and I found Wooyoung next to Seonghwa on the couch. He was repeatedly bumping his shoulder into the taller male and Seonghwa looked less than thrilled. Jongho and Yunho smiled at my appearance and Seonghwa gave me a sympathetic smile when I took a seat next to Wooyoung and he turned his attention to me. Wooyoung leaned against me and I had to brace myself to prevent me from being squished. 

“I’m sorry for him, he’s always been like this,” Seonghwa said and Wooyoung whined. 

“What is it with you all and apologizing for me? I’m not bad!” 

“You bite,” Jongho pointed out and Yunho nodded his agreement. 

“I really hope he kept that habit of his contained to the Current and isn’t biting you. Unless he is.” Seonghwa said, his tone changing quickly as he gave Wooyoung a stern look. 

“He hasn’t been biting me, thankfully,” I interjected before Wooyoung could get in any kind of trouble. “I didn’t know it was a habit of his until you mentioned it actually.”

“Good because he’s not gentle with it either,” Yunho pointed out, which earned him a pillow thrown at his head. He easily caught it and set it off to the side. 

“It’s just how I show love!” 

I laughed at the dynamic between all of them and it made me happy to see that it wasn’t just Yeosang that was close to Wooyoung. They were like a little family with the way they cared for each other but didn’t hesitate to call each other out when they did something dumb. 

The conversation flowed easily after that, and I quickly warmed up to the rest of Wooyoung’s Current. Much like Yeosang, the others were very sweet and kind and teased Wooyoung to no end. It seemed to be a mutual arrangement though, so I laughed along with them. Wooyoung seemed pleased that I was enjoying myself if the gleeful expressions thrown my way were of any indication. I’m sure it eased some of his worries that he held close to his heart to see his mate and his Current getting along so well. It certainly was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone down here, I had some friends to fall back on now. 

The discussion moved to what I do for a living on the surface and I explained I was a fashion designer. Seonghwa looked like he had stars in his eyes when I told them that, and I couldn’t stop the giggle that bubbled forth at the expression. He looked too adorable to be as dangerous as a siren could be. 

“Seonghwa has an interest in surface fashion after he learned a little about it from Yeosang,” Jongho explained. “He’s constantly bugging us to travel up there just so he can look at all of the stores.” 

“You don’t have to talk about work if you don’t want to, I assume you’re there a lot,” Seonghwa interjected. He looked like he was about ready to jump out of his seat at this point, contradicting his words entirely. 

I waved away his words with a smile. “I don’t mind, it’s my passion. There is a fashion show coming up that I just happen to have a spare ticket to if you’re interested.”

Seonghwa did partially jump from the couch this time but composed himself with a cough. His cheeks tinted pink as his friends laughed at his reaction, which I assumed was out of character for the mild mannered siren. I found it adorable when he nodded that he was interested. “I would love to.”

“You didn’t offer me a ticket,” Wooyoung pouted, leaning into me more to show his displeasure that he wasn’t included in the offer. 

“I had two spare tickets. You were already invited,” I said with a chuckle. This appeased him and he stopped pouting and pulled a little of his weight off of me. Only a little though. “You both can meet my cousin Hongjoong then, he’ll be there as well. He’s the whole reason why I’m in the industry and he has his own label now.”

“I’d love to meet him if he’d be willing to talk to me about fashion,” Seonghwa stated. I was going to have a lot of explaining to do when I saw Hongjoong next. Me showing up with two giant men at my side with one of them wanting to speak with him personally and one of them as my mate was certainly going to raise some questions. 

The conversation moved away from work and more towards the politics of Socix. Having heard very little about the city beneath the water I tried to remain alert with the conversation but the day was catching up with me and Wooyoung was so warm and comforting. I don’t even remember fully leaning against him and letting my eyes fall shut, but I became aware of it when the voices around me softened to whispers and I felt an arm wrap around me to pull me closer to their side. 

“She seems sweet,” I heard Yunho murmur, his voice sounding far away. 

“I’m glad you finally found someone, Wooyoung. You look happy. Happier than you ever were with Maggiore.” This time I recognized Seonghwa as the speaker, and I tried to stay awake for just a little longer. I felt bad for falling asleep when guests were present, and I must have made a noise because Wooyoung was softly shushing me and running his fingers through my hair. The action lulled me further to sleep and I only managed to catch what Wooyoung said before it took me over fully. 

“I am the happiest I’ve ever been.”

༄

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

#wooyoung #ateez #ateez fic #jung wooyoung #siren #kpop #wooyoung imagines

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I wish mineru got to me an actual character because every single theme we get that has to do with her (thunder islands, spirit temple, construct factory) are so gorgeous and made me fall in love with her, the soundtrack does so much heavy lifting in this game

You're so correct about the soundtrack, it tells such a compelling tale and it really builds off itself constantly, it's genuinely one of my favorite parts of the game!!

Honestly Mineru had tons of potential. I really liked the entire quest to find her and her body, it was the part of the game that kind of sold me the most the mystery and wonder of having such a big world spanning the sky all the way to the Depths. The atmospheric mood of the Thunderhead Isles was wonderful, loved following the light all the way to the Depths (I had already stumbled upon the actual Construct Factory in them before). It was the part of the game that "felt the most zonai" to me, this sort of puzzle-like intricacy of how their influence permeate the world that their name alone was meant to invoke. I regret the lack of worldbuilding here, even a very light one (what was were the Thunderhead Isles? What significance did they have in zonai culture? What about the structures on the ground in the jungle? I would have *loved* more... anything in the Construct Factories), but it was still a treat as a gameplay experience.

(I mean I hated having to pilot the Construct Body itself, but that's more a me problem than a game problem, thankfully the boxing match was a ton of funs regardless)

The character herself though.... Like I feel like there's a lot of potential inherent to her status as one of the last zonais AND her status as the king's sister (not to mention her engineering proclivities). She feels like she should have a very unique perspective on the entire situation, insight about what caused the fall of the zonais (or their departure/refusal to engage with Hyrule), have both tenderness but also criticism towards her brother his wife might not have (as his lover and as an inherently lesser being bound to his good will, she's a priestess so she probably prays to the gods and zonais are said to descend from gods can we talk about that also), share a unique relationship with Zelda through their common love for knowledge (I think Zelda having a strong relationship with Mineru sounds more meaningful than her having one with Sonia as of now tbh, and it would have helped their scenes to be more interesting than an excuse to infodump, I almost said that it's a ship before remembering they're technically related SOMEHOW?? so mayyybe not).

But in practice, she has no desires of her own. She's but an extension of her brother's will, except softer, muted, heartbroken not for her loss (and the fact that her entire race is about to die out once she does), but for Hyrule's perdition. I am still not over the fact that when she swears her oath of fielty to Link, she *touches her brother's hand*, aka the only meaningful relationship in her life that we got to see, zonai skin touching zonai skin for... probably the last time ever? And the camera couldn't care less. No lingering, no body tension, not even one of the little sounds that BotW/TotK characters love to make in cutscenes everytime anything happens, not even any callback to the explicit motif of people touching each other's hand as a sign of support and unity (so you know what symbolism/allegory means game!!! you know this!!!!), the game doesn't seem to be aware that she should be a person with feelings that extend beyond her performative guilt about a situation that has basically nothing to do with her/she couldn't have done anything about/she did everything she could about, actually! She's just here to be a vessel for the restoration project of her brother's kingdom (Rauru being the only one allowed any emotion of genuine grief and upset, and it only lasts like half a second --which sucks!! I wish that, if Sonia was to be fridged anyway, it at least motivated him to become vengeful and furious and make a mistake that costed him his victory, which would have made him sliiightly more compelling instead of reverting back to a fancy cardbox of unquestionned perfection).

Also she's technically the last one you're supposed to get (but you can get her first??? this is such a weird choice sometimes linearity is good nintendo!!!), and after such a long quest, there should have been a narrative reward to finding her that goes harder than "and then Rauru decided to hype you up like crazy to Ganondorf, also Zelda is probably a dragon but you probably already know that" in my opinion. Some modicum of depth; a different emotional texture to the conflict. After that much build up, the payoff didn't land for me.

Yeah. Mineru. She really could have been the aqua-glue holding that ultrahand-ass of a plot together, but Alas.....

#asks #tloz #totk #totk spoilers #totk critical #mineru #rauru #zonai #thoughts #thanks for the ask and sorry for the time it took me to reply!!

[frostandflamesfanfic]

Last Christmas (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Last Christmas (Rated T)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k+ (get yer cocoa, everyone!)

Warnings: Brief moderate language, Steve Harrington being an idiot (as usual, but we love him anyway), friends-to-lovers (if that's a warning)

Summary: Co-written with @mischief_and_mercy on AO3 for Day 8 of Stevemas. Takes place at the end of Stranger Things 2 and inspired by the infamous titular song. You and Steve have been friends for years. You've seen him change and go from relationship to relationship, wishing that one day he might feel the same as you do. When Steve tries to hatch a plan with you to get Nancy back, tensions run high. Will your friendship be over?

It was no secret Steve Harrington struggled with luck. It was even clearer that he had lost his heart to a very prominent figure who also went to Hawkins High: Nancy Wheeler. Despite being friend-zoned too many times to count, you still harbored feelings for the hazel-eyed King Steve. You knew it was stupid—you should know better than to fall for someone who already gave his heart to someone else. 

Everyone saw the way Steve looked at Nancy. Even now, as you both sat in his bedroom, you knew his only thought was of walking into the Snow Ball to see her. He wanted to try to speak with her, to reconcile the broken relationship between the two of them. 

“What would I even-” the boy started as he paced around his room. “I mean, what could I even say to her? She’s…different now, ya know?”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod in agreement, “but so are you.”

Steve groaned, hands reaching up to cover and slide down his face. “Why does this have to be so damn complicated?”

“To quote the great Phil Collins-”

“NO!” He was quick to cut you off. “Don’t you start.”

In all the years he’s known you, Steve should have realized this was a losing battle. “You can’t hurry love,” you crooned in a terribly offkey melody. “No, you just have to wait. Love doesn’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.”

“You’re such a nerd,” he groaned, head falling backwards in frustration. “Besides, wasn’t that song done by the Supremes like a million years ago?”

“And you have the audacity to call me a nerd.”

Steve scrunched his nose, causing a series of wrinkles to appear across his face. “Blame it on my dad,” he argued. “Used to blast that shit everywhere we went. We’re getting off topic here, though. How can I uncomplicate this?”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want Steve to be happy. In fact, it was quite the opposite; there was nothing you wanted more for him. The two of you had known each other for years and you knew the struggles he had going on at home. More than anything, Steve deserved to find someone who would love him unconditionally.

But…that person wasn’t Nancy. As much as they tried, you can’t force two puzzle pieces together that don’t fit. It only damages the structure of one or both puzzle pieces. And in this situation, the broken puzzle piece was Steve. Nancy had remained intact, perfectly fine to be without Steve. Steve, on the other hand, could barely function without her. As much as you hated it, he had convinced himself that Nancy was the one for him, and as his best friend, you had to do what you could to support him.

“What if you gave her a gift?” you suggested. “Something…nice, that’ll help her remember you. Maybe like a locket?”

Steve paused mid step and tilted his head side to side, as though he was pondering your suggestion. 

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

“Maybe I should ditch,” he remarked, mostly to himself. “Maybe I’ll just leave Dustin, run back into the car, and come back here.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Steven Joseph Harrington, I swear to God if you have stressed me out for nothing, I am going to suffocate you with your own damn pillow.”

“Stressed you out?!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, it stressed me out! You are absolutely incapable of making a decision and not completely wimping out on that same decision! Grow some balls!”

The dark-haired boy before you wrinkled his nose. “You know,” he started, “we would be having a completely different conversation right now if this was your problem. If you wanted to get back with Frankie Wallace– God knows why you’d want to– you’d be stressing over every detail.” 

“Well, good thing for you I don’t want to go out with Frankie Wallace,” you said evenly as you rested your head on your hand. The unspoken words remained resting on your tongue, heavy and dark. I want to go out with you.

“Yeah, see, that’s your problem. You need to get back out there again,” Steve encouraged, entirely oblivious to your distant longing stares. “Show the little shitbag what he’s missing.”

“That’s gross, Steve. Last time you encouraged me to do that, he stuck his tongue down my throat and I had to sucker punch him in his. Would you like to try that again? Wanna relive another trip to the principal?” 

You watched as your best friend’s jaw clenched and un-clenched in a silent rhythm. He flexed his fingers into a fist. “He did that to you?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Why would that matter to him? Was he jealous? As wrong as it was, you almost wished he had some feeling comparable to yours when he looked at Nancy. But you knew it would never happen. Try as hard as you might, you would never truly be Steve’s…person. He would never look at you the way he saw Nancy. To Steve, you would always be his little friend with a face full of freckles and braces, the one who was more interested in homework than the important social gatherings of the school year. 

After the Snow Ball came and went, with Steve’s plan hopefully going off without a hitch, life would go back to normal. You’d pass each other by in the halls, smile on occasion when he’d visit your locker. 

“Yeah, Steve. That’s what happens when you pick the wrong guy.” 

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye

Tell me baby, do you recognize me?

Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

You knew that Steve remembered what it was like to attract the wrong girl. But… he didn’t know what it was like to look at your best friend, every day, knowing that there would be no one else that could measure up to who you wanted. Despite the absentee parents, Steve had always known how to treat his partners. He would tell you about his dates, how he’d always try to pull out all the stops. You knew his moves, his quirks…those sly tactics he thought were smooth that you had convinced him were borderline sketchy, even if he didn’t mean it to be. If anything, being alone most of his life made him gentle and caring. 

Steve told you about his dream once, when he and Nancy first started dating. He wanted this great big Hawkins family that would have all the love he never received growing up. It shattered your heart into a thousand pieces to hear, but it also made you all the more protective of him. Deep down, you knew this wasn’t the future Nancy would want. She was a girl with big ambitions, who wanted to do more than stay in a town as small as Hawkins. You knew that Steve would support her either way, even if it meant sacrificing what he wanted most, but it didn’t seem fair. Your best friend didn’t deserve to have his heart broken; not by Nancy Wheeler or anyone else. 

“You never…” Steve cleared his throat. “You never told me that.”

“That’s because you were a little…” Too preoccupied with sucking your girlfriend’s face off. “...busy.”

“You can still tell me things!” he exclaimed. The guilt swirled in his eyes, immediately hitting you right in the chest with your own pang of guilt. You probably should have told him when it happened. It would have saved you long nights of avoiding him to cry in your bedroom listening to Bowie and hating how stupid you were. Maybe it would have helped your pride to have him knock some sense into the creep. Although, you knew he would just be picking another fight he was destined to lose.

“I didn’t want to bother you.” I didn’t want to make you feel bad for me while you were happy with your own girlfriend.

Steve whispered your name quietly as he sat on the bed next to you. “No matter how busy I am with a girlfriend, with my friends, there will always be time for you.” He reached over to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “You’re my best friend. It’s part of my responsibilities to protect you from douchebags like Wallace. Not to mention I’d be lost without you.”

You shifted uncomfortably on the comforter, fingers smoothing the material as you refused to meet your best friend’s gaze. How could he say that to you? Your heart thudded against your chest like a rubber ball against a brick exterior. 

“Then why won’t you notice me?” you blurted out, your face burning as your mind registered what had just slipped out of your mouth. “Why do you always go to Nancy when clearly, the both of you can’t work out?!”

Steve recoiled from his position, his expression mimicking that of someone who had been slapped. Burning rage filled your heart, but not at him—never by him. It was at yourself, for ruining the relationship and the gentle peace the both of you had together. Your feelings had always toed the line between friendship and something more with Steve, but you never truly dared to make the leap and cross it. Teasing remarks, gentle touches that lingered just a little too long…yet you didn’t want to take the ultimate risk of revealing your feelings and losing Steve in the process. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured as you gathered your belongings as quickly as possible with tears building up against your lash line. “I shouldn’t have said that, it was wrong of me and not my place at all.”

A hand encircled your wrist, one that most definitely was not your own. Your gaze flicked from the ground to Steve’s chest, unable to look him in the eyes directly. How could you? You had basically ruined your friendship in one fell swoop. Now you know what a fool you’ve been.

You cleared your throat, still staring at the floor. To hell with it all. You’ve said this much already, what more could happen from you pouring out your heart?

“I’ve liked you for a while, Steve.” you stated quietly, still staring at your sock-covered toes. “I… I think I realized last Christmas. But… When I asked if we were going to spend Christmas together like usual, you preferred to spend it with Nancy. I… I lost my heart that day, Steve. I lost it to you.”

“I-” Steve started as his hand tightened around your wrist. “I didn’t know-”

“How could you, Steve?” you asked bitterly. Considering the rhetorical question, you continued on your outpouring of feelings. “You were too invested with Nancy to see what it was doing to me. You only have eyes for one girl at a time. So when Nancy entered the picture… I was lost from you, Steve.” Your voice broke on your last sentence, “I was lost from you, Steve, and I still am.”

“But you’re right here,” he argued. “I’m right here. Everything’s okay now. I mean, yeah, Hawkins went to shit again, but we’re still alive. We’re still-”

“Just because I am physically here, Steve, doesn’t mean that I don’t feel lost from you! When’s the last time you’ve asked about my day, or about one of my tests, or offered to help me study for one of those tests, or, hell, did you even bother to call me back when I broke up with Frankie?”

“I guess, I guess I, uh,” Steve ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. You could tell he was struggling to search through his memory, holding onto a glimmer of hope he could find a reason. But the truth was, he couldn’t and he never would.

“Forgot,” you huffed in frustration. “You forgot. Again. Because Nancy is the only thing that occupies your brain anymore.”

“That’s not true!!”

“Then what the hell is the truth, then, Steve?! Tell me the damn truth!”

A blank look overtook your best friend’s face as you grew silent after your outburst. You hadn’t meant to lash out at him like you did. It was a therapeutic feeling, though. After watching from the sidelines for so long, having that chance to really tell Steve how you really felt was…freeing. After a moment, you gave up on waiting for an answer. It didn’t really matter what he had to say. You said your piece and now you needed to move on before it was far too late, not only for your friendship – but for yourself. 

Heaving a heavy sigh, you bit your lower lip and grabbed your backpack back up from off the floor. Steve barely registered your movements, only coming back to the real world just before you started down the stairs. You heard his voice call out your name as you walked out the front door, but you had to ignore it. This Christmas, you needed to move on. You needed to let go of Steve Harrington, even if it hurt like hell.  

= = = = = = = = = = =

You hadn’t spoken to Steve for the rest of that day. When he called later that evening, you let it go to voicemail. At school, you ignored him outside of classes, being quick to spot some random “friend” of yours that you hardly knew. You spent most of the day after helping your younger sister get ready for the snow ball, no matter how much she argued that having her older sibling help was practically a dramatic attempt for social suicide.

Well, at least she wasn’t going to the Snow Ball in what she thought was the epitome of fashion (which it was most definitely not). Resisting the urge to ruffle her hair, you all but shoved her out the door to the car. Why put all of your hard work to waste and let her be late for the event?

The last thing on your mind was if you would cross paths with Steve in the parking lot. Given everything that had gone on since your last conversation, it wasn’t as if he was at the forefront of your thoughts. At this point, your main focus was on making sure your little sister had the best Snow Ball ever, even if it meant you needed to sit and monitor a punch bowl for three hours.

After placing the keys in the ignition, you drove to the biggest event your middle school sister could ever dream to have. As you entered the parking lot of Hawkins Middle School, you could already tell that no expense had been spared with the event planning committee’s strenuous budget. Balloons and streamers littered the walls in a variety of pale winter colors. You were almost glad that you had opted to dress you and your sister in darker tones, as it would help you stand out against the backdrops.

Once parked, your sister couldn’t wait to get out of the car. She made a beeline for the sign-in sheet and was quick to start catching up with her new friend, Max. After you signed yourself in, you couldn’t help but look around for Dustin. You had half expected him to be here by now, but there was no sign of the curly haired genius child.  

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes

I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice

Despite your vehement wishes for Steve not to show up, you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest when you didn’t see him walk through the doors. You wanted him not to show up, it’s what you had hoped for all along… Right? But the heavy feeling in your chest and the spiraling thoughts inside of your head said otherwise. You tried to distract yourself with ever-so-important punch monitor duties, dragging the ladle through the liquid to create ripples within the bowl. 

About an hour into your self-made prison, you heard the sound of a throat clearing in front of you. Oh. Oh no. As you glanced up, you locked eyes with the boy you had spent the last few days trying to avoid. Steve wasn’t dressed up, not really. He had on his favorite red sweater and a pair of Levi’s. Even with the curious look of concern etched into his features, he still looked incredibly Steve-like. 

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on

Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

Now that feeling in your chest blossomed into something incredibly unwanted that would make you forgive Steve in the span of a fraction of a second. This time, it was familiar. It was the same feeling that made you hold onto the thought of him finally dating you for oh so long.

“Hey,” he stuttered. “Can I, uh, have some punch, please?”

“Pretty sure it’s just for the kids,” you couldn’t help the sharpness to your tone.

“I could make sure it’s not spiked?” he offered weakly. The puppy eyes he gave you were enough to make you want to put your hands over your face, if not just to resist the temptation of forgiving him oh-so-quickly. You knew it would hurt even more if you let him back into your heart. So why were you longing to pour some punch in a glass in a peace-making gesture?

Deep down, you knew why. 

It was because it was Steve, the boy you had known since the two of you could crawl (albeit not very well on his part). This was the guy who spent every minute of summer break in your backyard, talking for hours about the things he wanted to do when he could finally get away from his home – to finally be free. This was Steve, your best friend, who knew your favorite ice cream flavor and your favorite movies. It wouldn’t matter how many times he broke your heart, because he would always be there, in the back of your mind and your most important memories.

“That’s, uh,” you cleared your throat, “that’s why people like me are on the payroll, I’m afraid. This punch has already passed inspection. Although, I’m sure Nance might need some help at table seven.”

“I don’t want to help Nancy,” Steve explained as a bite of frustration crept into his tone. “I want to focus on you.”

Your words rang back to you in what you had spit at him during your fight. Nancy is the only thing that occupies your brain anymore. You hated that he still held onto that. Despite the truth to those words you had said, regret slithered around your heart and crushed it in a vice-like grip. Was there truly any more hope towards a relationship between you and Steve?

“Then why do I find that so hard to believe?”

“Because I’ve messed up,” Steve said honestly. “I’ve messed up, but I really, really want to be able to make it up to you. Please, let me make this up to you.” 

A sigh escaped your lips and your gaze traveled back down to the punch bowl before you. It would be an internal battle, this decision. But really, what else did you have to lose? He had already shattered your heart before. What’s one more time? “And how do you expect to do that, Harrington?”

His hand dipped into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box, which was horribly wrapped. The edges of your lips twitched in an attempt to silence your laughter at how poor his wrapping job truly was.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“A present… for you. I just… I thought you should have it, y’know, in case you won’t let me do anything for Christmas. As awful as it sounds, I figured you’d actually take the present in public rather than in private… I know you hate me. I’ve been an awful friend.”

Hate. For some reason, that word just bothered you. Did you really hate Steve? After everything the two of you had been through as kids, would this really be the end of your friendship? 

Swallowing hard, you reached your hand out wordlessly for the gift. “For the record,” you mused as you picked at the paper, “I don’t hate you. I’m just…I guess I don’t know how to feel. I said some things and you…well, you didn’t. I don’t know where that leaves us now.” 

“I… I don’t really know where that leaves us either,” Steve said quietly. “But what I do know is I don’t want to lose you.”

Without another word, you started to rip at the wrapping paper. After removing its disguise, you discovered it was a small silver box. You frowned up at Steve in confusion as you lifted the lid off of the top. What you saw surprised you even more. Placed on a bed of crushed purple velvet sat a silver letter “S”.

“You decided to get me something with your initial?” you asked, unamused.

“It’s not- It’s not to mark you as mine or stupid shit like that!” Steve spit out. “I uh… I just uh…” He somehow managed to pull himself together enough to say, “I want to be yours. I want to gift you flowers and make you breakfast and point at random stars in the night sky and act like I know the story behind constellations I still can’t see. And most of all… I want to remind you that you are always going to take priority. I don’t want anyone else.”

“But- but what about Nancy?” you asked, wide eyes locked onto his own soft gaze.

“It’s not about Nancy anymore,” he replied. “To be honest with you, I don’t think it ever really was. See, when Nance…when she left me, I think I just– well, I think I felt pretty stupid. Like maybe, maybe there was something wrong with me. I was a jerk these last few years. No, no, I was more than a jerk. I was a real dick. And I guess…” He hesitated before he continued. “I guess I was afraid if I even tried to find someone else, I’d just screw it up like I normally do.”

You frowned. “You don’t screw things up, Steve.”

“No, I did,” he argued. “I really, really did.”

“You didn’t-” you started again.

“If I didn’t screw things up, then why didn’t I have the guts to tell you I loved you six years ago?”

“Because I didn’t have the guts to tell you that I loved you either.”

The two of you stood in silence for several minutes, eyes flickering around the room to find something– anything– to talk about and break the spell. Something had changed between the two of you now and there was definitely no going back. While part of you wanted to scream of happiness from Steve’s confession, another part of you was scared. What if you tried and it messed everything up even more? What if you lost Steve entirely?

As if he sensed your unease, Steve took a few steps around the side of the table. His hand found your own as he laced his fingers with yours. The other hand went to your cheek, cradling your face gently. His eyes searched yours as he leaned closer, his cologne sweeping through your senses and preventing smells other than him from making their way to you. Lips grazed yours as both your eyes shuttered closed, bodies leaning into one another. 

Finally, finally you were kissing Steve Harrington…and he was kissing you back.

Maybe this Christmas wouldn’t be so bad after all.

------------ Authors' Note:

frostandflames- Well that's a wrap on day 8 of my Stevemas event. I just want to say thank you to mischief_and_mercy for helping me out and being willing to collaborate with me on today’s fic. This story was actually their idea, so make sure to give them some support and check out their stuff over on AO3! They write for a variety of characters, including the gang from Stranger Things and MCU.

If you liked this story and want to see more collabs like this on either of our profiles, make sure to comment, tag your friends, and reblog. Likes are appreciated, but it's the other types on interactions that help spread the word about our work and motivate our brain cells to keep working together.

AND if you want updates on the rest of Stevemas, maybe consider giving my blog a cheeky follow. I promise I won't spam your dash outside of sharing the works of other amazing writers and creators on this hellsite.

Until next time, my little sparks! <3

mischief_and_mercy: Hey guys! I hope y'all enjoy the fic! Give all the love to El for coming up with the idea and helping us along (no matter what she says about me…). She's put so much hard work into this, so give her all the love you can spare <3 please leave a comment or a reblog (or both ;D)! Happy Holidays lovelies!

Taglist: @bakerstreethound, @theelmgrove

#steve harrington fanfic #steve x reader #steve harrington #steve stranger things #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington blurb #frostandflamesfanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #joe keery imagines #joe keery #twelve days of stevemas #ficmas 2022 #friends to lovers #writer friends #Spotify

[wulfhalls]

other anon is right djats show>>>>>>>>> the book. like riley and sam. that's it. period. cause the entire book is just billy lying and downplaying his relationship with daisy so you spend 90% of it thinking he's full of shit and having to read inbetween the lines of what really went down with him and daisy since most of their relationship is allegedly them barely speaking or interacting except on stage. camila also deified to an annoyingly unrealistic degree so thank god we have the show to be like "nah this is what actually happened. daisybilly kissing. daisybilly falling in love. daisybilly sneaking out for lunch dates. daisybilly crossword puzzle love confessions. daisybilly backstage hookups" as far am i'm concerned the show is what really happened and the book was just the story the band wanted to tell 😂

I feel like one of the big issues with book stans / Camila Stans is they read the book and thought that Billy choosing Camila meant that he loved her more when that was never the case. Billy chose stability because of his past. So when you see that on the show it looks like Camila got the raw end of the deal when that’s always what Camila represented they just finally understand that him picking Camila doesn’t mean he loves her more. I mean they spelt it out in the book.“Passion is...it's fire. And fire is great, man. But we're made of water. Water is how we keep living. Water is what we need to survive. My family was my water. I picked water.” I do think Billy convinced himself over time that he did choose to love Camila more but the fact remains that Camila was a choice. That’s what you get from him in the books and in the last episode with Julia but Daisy was never a choice. Daisy was someone he couldn’t help but be drawn to and feel something so deeply for that he risk ruining his hard fought stability for “How could I be around Daisy Jones and not be mesmerized by her? Not fall in love with her. I couldn't. I just couldn't.”

its absolutely wild how book purists are sooo mad about the daisy and camilla hotel scene being taken out of the book/reworked into a different type of conversation, but when I finally decided to go look it up for myself it didn't give me woman supporting woman feminist vibes like people claim. like its not woman destroying woman either it just feels neutral. cami really tells daisy "he will never leave me" and daisy only gets clean because camila is the one to tell her that she should. IDK MAN i think its more powerful in the show where its daisy being self aware enough to tell cami "he will always choose you!" and for daisy to be the one to realize she needs to get clean because this life is really bad for her. not because, 'camila dunne thinks I'm worth saving' LIKE HELLO?? the book seems like it makes cami out to be this perfect angel woman. WHERE'S HER FEMININE RAGE!! HER MAN IS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN AND CANT EVEN ADMIT!! i think she deserved to be mad as hell instead of whatever saintlike behavior she exhibits in the book. sorry I just needed someone to listen to my rant about the scene that so many people keep calling Emotional and Powerful when really cami deserved to be mad as hell and daisy deserved to be an active participant in her own life.

It's kinda crazy to me that Camila is the one in the book that basically tells Daisy to leave and quit the band to go to rehab. They don't even interact that much prior to this, and I always hated that part in the book. On 1 hand we know daisy is leaving a toxic situation, but we don't get the feeling that she'll be OK. If anything we feel that she's alone, and because( and this is how it felt to me ) that the band chose Cami over her. Cami is described like this virgin mary can do no wrong character, and her alienating daisy from the band just felt nasty( especially considering the band never had Camis back ). I love that in the show they gave Daisy that power, along with the fact that both Teddy and Simone are still clearly there for her and supportive of her choice( also showing Warren there for her too later on ) Like I don't understand why people wanted them to be friends so bad 😫 it's weird for the wife and the mistress to be friends, especially given how Daisily were in the show...

The ending didn’t work in the books either imo. In the books Camila tells Daisy I know he loves you but he’s never going to leave me. Like girllll you know your man is in love with another woman snd you just okay with that? She was entirely too accepting at least in the show she’s wasn’t okay with and was rightfully hurt & angry but then again Camila as a character was kinda bleh. Every time Billy talked about her I just rolled my eyes because he was overcompensating so hard.

I think the funniest antis are the ones that are clearly Camila Stans that claim DaisyBilly were “ruined” by the show bc they made out. That them having more physicality in their relationship some how changed the nuance. Like you can have a twin flame relationship and also be very attracted to each other. One does not take away from the other. And it’s frankly unbelievable that anyone believes that Daisy & Billy had a connection like they had and NEVER gave in not for one single second. Like please

When I tell you the show ending is so much better. And it’s not even the ending exactly it’s how they get to that ending that’s soooo much better. In the books they handed all of Billy & Daisy’s agency to Camila. In the show it felt like they all had agency and it was sooo much better.

all of u having the most book thoughts compilation

#asks #daisybilly #daisy jones and the six #again i never did read the book but ur all making points #especially the giving daisy agency point!

[violetsdaisy]

I accidentally forgot a WIP and it’s an OC oriented Yugioh fic that I put a lot of effort and time into crafting lore and storylines, but then decided to write Senet Shores and got sucked up in puzzleshipping exclusively lol

It’s a string of fate series that starts after Atem leaves. Yugi is heartbroken and he ends up finding a friend through the OC (Sumire) who has her own mysteries. He’s super reluctant to let her in but she’s very supportive of him and holds him when he cries over Atem and what not.

The hole is never gone, but they get close and start dating. But Sumi’s narcissistic mother (the villian) tries to ruin her life and uses the “string of fate card” which brings back Atem from the afterlife (because he’s Yugi’s soulmate) and also reveals Sumire’s soulmate as Kaiba (there’s a lot going on with that situation too)

So Yugi is pulled between Sumi and Atem, before Sumi breaks down and is like “No, I’m giving you back to Atem because you two deserve to be together.” (Lots of plot drama happens)

Sumi ends up leaving with Anzu for two years and lives in America. Kaiba, by this point, has actually already told her his feelings in a round about way, but Sumi is denying them because she’s heartbroken over Yugi and trying to get over it.

Until Kaiba shows up and is like “get over yourself. I’ve given you time and now I wanna give us a shot” and then they start to get closer.

Basically i wanted to give Yugi comfort and pave a way for him to have Atem back and also give Kaiba a happy ending that didn’t involve crazy obsession 😭💙

But yeah 🤗 it’s a lot of lore and world building that even stems back into AE, so maybe one day I’ll go back to it and write it all out.

Here’s a angsty snippet between Sumi and Yugi:

“Yugi. Atem loves you.” His eyes hardened at the words, growing very guarded. “I know because I see how he looks at you. Isn’t that what you wanted? You have him now. He’s not just some spirit in the puzzle. He’s flesh and bone and you guys can touch and be together—”

“No!” Yugi shouted, catching her off guard, and he dropped her hands, a hurt and angry glare on his face. “No. I won’t choose between you like this, Sumi. You’re my everything and Atem is… well, he was my everything, but that doesn’t mean he is now. Things have changed and—”

“You just don’t want to hurt me,” she reasoned with him. “It’s okay. You can be honest with me.”

“I am being honest!”

“You’re not!” She shouted back. “You’re not and can’t you see that we are all miserable because of it?” She hadn’t meant to say that and when he flinched violently, she immediately wished to take her words back. Since she couldn’t, she deflated and continued. “Atem is hurting because he can’t have you. I’m hurting because I can’t have all of you. You’re hurting because of being torn in two directions.”

#daisysays #WIP talk #violetsdaisy #my writing

[max1461]

Let me try this post again. I think there's something to it, but I don't think I communicated it very well. I'm going to come at this from a more personal angle, and I'm also going to be a bit more careful in my wording. There are also, I think, several different ideas being gestured at in that post, and I'm only going to cover one of them here. The others will get their own posts eventually.

Ok.

I am deeply, deeply in love with the world we live in. I think it is extraordinary beautifully and fascinating. I am continually astounded by the intricacies and strange little details of nature, of human society, of history, and so on. I consider learning about the world to be one of my primary reasons for living. Existing on earth, having nature around to look at and people around to talk to and things to discover is like being in a garden of delights. I can look at a tree! I can learn a language! Moreover, I can read about a tree and then look at that tree, and can see for myself all the things that were in the book, connect the abstract description of some biological fact with my real, direct observation of the physical world around me. The world is a cornucopia of puzzles and mysteries. It is, in a broad structural sense, like my own personal heaven. I cannot overstate the degree to which I love the universe that I am living in.

I think I am, perhaps, an outlier in this regard. Maybe most people don't think this way, at least not as generally as I do. But certainly a lot of people I've met here seem to feel this way. And I think many people, perhaps most, feel this way about some corner of the world even if they don't feel it about the world in general. If you love literature or video games, maybe you feel deeply in love with the works that people have made. If you're passionate about, I don't know, soccer, maybe you're similarly enthralled by the feeling of the game, the experience of practicing and improving, etc. In general, if you like anything... you like that thing! I mean that's a tautology, but like, I hope it conveys what I'm trying to convey.

And I think this experience of passion, this experience of loving the world or some part of the world, is for many people an inherent aspect of a life worth living. Not for everyone, I'm sure—there are people who would be contented without it, and I support those people just as much. But there are likewise people, a lot of people, who would say "without soccer, what's the point? Without trees, what's the point? Without languages to learn, what's the point? If I can't dance, it's not my revolution."

At the same time, it is evident that this world that I'm so in love with is, in many ways, deeply unjust. There is suffering, poverty, disease, loss, grief, and pain. Many of these problems are tractable, and don't interfere with the things that I (or most anyone, I think) loves about the world. Fighting disease and poverty, for instance. These are two great imperatives, and for the most part I think their cost is purely one of human time and energy. We can fix these things if we try hard, if we put in the resources, and so on. These are not efforts that come at the cost of the world I love.

Some forms of injustice are not so obviously orthogonal to human passion. The type case here, I think, is wild animal suffering. There is a huge amount of suffering in nature, of pain and fear and death. Billions upon billions of organisms in pain. And right now, as awful as it may sound, I feel almost thankful that any proposed solutions to this problem remain in the realm of the fantastical. Because, you know, I love nature! Part of the reason I wake up every day is to experience the nature around me! And solving the problem of animal suffering—freeing all those billions of organisms from their constant struggle—would involve irreparably changing nature into something else, something without the organic complexity that makes it what it is.

And, you know, I want to put aside all arguments about the advisability of trying to meddle with ecosystems and all that. I agree, wholeheartedly, that humans trying to jump in and solve the problem of wild animal suffering would almost certainly be immensely stupid. That's not the point! The point is, suppose that we could. With no catastrophic consequences, no great collapse. And ignore any trolley problems, ignore any ethical conundra that might arise, like "how do we weight animal freedom against animal pain?" or "how do we acquire consent to alter aspects of the biosphere from stakeholders who can't communicate?" or whatever. Pretend it all magically works out. Should we do it? I don't know, but I think the answer might be "probably".

But then nature is gone! The intricate complexity of ecosystems is gone! Remember, that complexity relies on cycles of predation, on natural selection! Pain and suffering are built into it! But ending that pain and suffering requires something terrible in its own way. I think there are people who would wake up in that new world, that world where nature per se no longer exists, and say "what am I waking up for anymore? What is the point now? The world I loved is gone."

This description so far also relies on positing, falsely, a separation between humans and nature, or perhaps between passion-feelers and nature. Remember, many of those wild animals are not so different from us. Don't you think a horse feels something similar to passion when it sees a wide sprawling grassland to run across? If you aren't sure that it does, don't you think it at least might? Don't you think lions are passionate about the hunt? I think they might be. Some people are. And lions aren't that far away from us, biologically. But zebras suffer because of the lions' hunt!

So it's not just the fare of privileged outside observers to say "oh no, you ended mass suffering but also took away my pretty garden!". It's not just the slaveholder lamenting the end of slavery. It's that the world itself is an intricate mixture of passions and pains, and each passion is predicated on a pain! The lion wants to keep hunting, the zebra wants to keep grazing, the grass—if it wants, which I don't know that it doesn't—wants to keep photosynthesizing.

We all live in a world where the basic things that make us happy are predicated on the current structure of the world, which involves a great amount of suffering. Maybe some of us would be happy to, as it were, live in a zoo and sustain ourselves on nutrient mush, and would take this as the necessary price for the end of suffering. But I think most of us would find that existence intolerable. Our ability to enjoy life is dependent on being part of this matrix, part of this complex web, and pain is another, inextricable part of it.

Or, at least, that's the fear. I don't know. Maybe there is a way to create a world were suffering is minimal but you and me and lions and zebras all still get to live something approaching "the good life". We all still get to have a worthwhile existence, an existence we feel satisfied by. I'm not sure if this is possible when the whole of the biosphere is taken into account (which is why I chose it as an example), but I think it very well might be possible with regard to human society. And I think we should work tirelessly to find it, because if it is possible then achieving it is an utter imperative. But I fear that it isn't, and that makes me sad, and concerned. But it's still worth trying.

Ok, maybe that wasn't actually any better phrased than the last time. I don't know. I seem incapable of writing about this topic in a disinterested manner, at least at present. But hopefully that's at least a little better, and answers some of the questions people had last time.

#society #navel gazing

[not-alien-girl-v]

Hello! Could I request a tate langdon x trans male reader? (Sorry for requesting tate I know you get him alot)

note: you know what you are right i do get tate a lot but the tumblr girlies have been eating him up lately so this one goes out to the transmascs and/or tate lovers. also writing this on my phone and my fat ass thumbs are not doing all that work of clicking shift so this will be all lowercase. anyway i’m writing this sleep deprived at midnight so i am going to wake up tomorrow morning and forget i wrote this most likely

warning: language probably idk i write my warnings before i write the fic and i just predict what the fuck im going to add in idk i should stop

the dead of winter makes things feel quiet. you barely hear your mom in the kitchen though you are just in the room over. it’s not snowing outside, it doesn’t do that in la, like, ever, but it would be nice maybe once.

you feel the vibration of your phone. you’re sitting on the couch and it’s in the back pocket of your jeans and you don’t want to stand up to fish it out so you flop yourself sideways and grab it. you have three notifications, and in your mind, you make a mental ranking of their importance.

3. bereal went off, though it happened hours ago and you don’t bother to take the picture because who cares

2. about 46 minutes ago, your friend texted your other friend in the group chat, talking about some concert tonight for people you’ve never even heard of before

1. your boyfriend, tate, texted about the same concert, but in this case, offering to take you with him to the show

not to play favorites, but a night out alone with your boyfriend sounds like more fun than a night with your freaky little friends. sure, they were a barrel of monkeys… in their own way, but you’d much prefer a long night in working at a puzzle with them than a raging concert.

‘?’ Tate texts again. You opened his text and he saw the read receipt but you’ve just been sitting there contemplating the meaning of life for minutes now.

‘maybe’ you reply and renter your deep thought once more. it would be fun, you’d have a good time and he’d be happy… but you have been wearing your binder for at the very least 10 hours now, and you had plans to take it off in a little bit (granted you were procrastinating) and that was something you didn’t want to deny yourself.

they say you’re not supposed to exercise in a binder, but that’s never stopped you. back in high school, you had PE 3rd period, and it’s not like you were just gonna go through the trouble of taking it off for a one hour block every single day and then put it back on once the class is over.

that’s the same now, though you don’t have a PE class, you are an avid mosher in the pit and you don’t want to be boobs flying everywhere. you don’t even want boobs at all, but top surgery is expensive, and your insurance only covers testosterone shots so you make do with what you can.

‘maybe?’ he texts back and he didn’t include it in the text, but you can feel a :( radiating from his end of the line.

‘tummy kinda hurts idk’ another thing, he doesn’t know you’re trans. it’s no big deal, truly, you know he’d be super supportive and respectful if you came out and nothing would change between the two of you but that doesn’t take away any of your fear of telling him. this relationship has been going on for 6 months now, and it seems like the longer you wait to say something, the more awkward it will be once you do.

‘:(‘ he texts and you frown a little as well in real life, and you put your phone on the table and walk into the kitchen. your mom is baking those little sugar cookies from target with the snowmen on them and you swear if you got close enough, you could eat an entire tray full of them.

but you’ve already spoiled your dinner enough with the potato chips you now realize you’ve abandoned in the living room and walk back to your room.

your bedroom is small yet well decorated, giving it a cozy aura, even more when you light a peppermint candle. you finally remove your binder and it feels like a breath of fresh air for the first time today. twisting your arms around, you stretch out and then put on a tank top and bundle up in your bed because it’s so damn cold out.

you put your headphones over your ears and play some random song off a playlist tate made for you and all is well in the world until you think you hear your mom screeching your name from the kitchen. of course, the second you pause the music and rip of the headphones, it’s dead silence once more, so you put them back on. there’s the noise again. if she’s really trying to contact you, she can just text you rather than test out her echolocation skills.

a moment later, she does text you.

‘someone at the door go get it’

as polite as ever, you have no choice but obey and slump to the front door, unhappy that your unwinding time has been interrupted by some rando at the door. when you open the door (albeit, grumpily), it’s not a rando, but it is in fact your boyfriend.

“tate! what are you doing here?” you don’t mean to sound so unhappy about his presence, it just comes out like that and of course you notice how quickly his eyes trail downwards on your body. you follow them too, until they land on your uncaged boobs. shit. “oh, um.”

“aren’t you going to invite me in?” he doesn’t say anything you thought he would and for that, you hold the door open for him and step aside to let him in.

“so, what are you doing here?” you ask again since he didn’t respond the first time.

“you said your stomach hurt, and mine kinda hurt too, so i thought i could come over and we could be in pain together. what do you think?” the whole time he’s been making his way to your bedroom, though he hadn’t been in your house very many times, he knew where he was going. he kicks off his shoes at the base and launches himself onto your duvet.

“you’re so thoughtful,” you crawl in next to him and hook one leg between his own, immediately experiencing the glory of his body heat.

“i tend to think so.” there’s that silence again. sometimes peaceful, sometimes deafening, because you know there’s something left unsaid. so you open your mouth again.

“um, so, about the boobs thing,” you start and pause to swallow, realizing you must look like a nervous character on tv right now.

“it’s okay.”

“it is?” you don’t dare lift your head to look him in the eye.

“of course. it doesn’t matter to me. you’re still hot,” he pokes you in the side and you chuckle at him.

“stop it, you silly goose,” you joke back and you can feel the physical cringe his body does.

“and i love you no matter what,” it’s quiet, but you hear it, muffled by your cringe minecraft bedspread. you love him too.

#ahs #tate langdon #evan peters fanfiction #american horror story #evan peters x reader #tate langdon x reader #evan peters #evan peters x you #fanfic #fluff #transmasc #trans rights

[hope-for-the-planet]

I'm coming to your blog directly after having a panic attack about environmental stuff because I don't know where else to go. I'm a teen right now, and I'm scared out of my mind because I'm worried I won't have a future, or the one I have will be so shitty and terrible. everytime I feel better and hopeful after reading an article or something, I see someone online say how we're all fucked, or how this is the last generation to die comfortably. I'm sorry for pinning you with the task of alleviating my anxiety, but I don't know where else to go :(

Hi Anon,

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and that it took me some time to get to your ask—you and your fears are always welcome here. You have been on my mind since I got this ask as I’ve been thinking about the best way to answer it.

It is deeply unfair that you are already feeling this burden so acutely as a teenager. Please know that you are not alone—there are so many extremely smart, dedicated, and talented people working to make sure that people like you have a future to look forward to. You are inheriting a legacy of generations of older humans who have fought and continue to fight to protect our planet and mitigate climate change. We are in a better situation now than we would have been without their actions and the number of people who care deeply about this issue gets bigger every day.

If you are regularly having panic attacks or anxiety that feels beyond your control, please seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional—or find a trusted friend or family member to help you access mental health resources if needed. We all need extra support sometimes (myself included!)—mental health professionals can help you build strategies and access resources to keep yourself regulated when you run into major anxiety triggers.

It is completely reasonable to have concerns about what the future will hold—but you absolutely still have a future and the chance to live a meaningful and fulfilling life even in the midst of this crisis. We will face new and different obstacles from past generations, but there is still ample opportunity to mitigate the scope of this crisis, to adapt our communities to weather the challenges of climate change, and to leverage this necessary change to build a better world.

On this journey there will continue to be times when there is bad news and setbacks and difficult change—and this means that cultivating resilience and coping strategies is an important part of building your own adaptability and preventing a constant drain on your mental health.

This includes 1) Building an arsenal of healthy coping strategies and mental health resources that work for you (climate anxiety can be treated with many of the same strategies as other types of anxiety). 2) Avoiding messages of despair and seeking out sources of hope and energy. Surround yourself with people and media that feed your hope, join communities working to make things better, focus on the piece of the puzzle you can help with and don’t dwell on bad news that you can’t do anything about. Anxiety isn’t activism. 3) Even when you get really good at the previous step, there are still times when the world throws setbacks and despair in your face and you have to grit your teeth and choose hope anyway. This is the hard one and it takes time and practice—but this is how you get through those rough patches when there is a slew of bad news and all seems to be for nothing.

On days when the world doesn’t offer hope, hope is a gift you give to yourself. It is the only way we have kept fighting this far and it is the only way we will succeed in the end. Go looking for something to be hopeful about, and if you cannot find it, make it yourself.

Imagining a future for yourself--a future with hope and meaning--is a big part of this.

I’ve linked a few other posts that I hope will help you here: (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X)

I hope that this helps you. I wish I had an easy trick to tell you to switch off the anxiety. I wish that I could give you a hug through the internet and tell you that you aren’t alone and we are going to be ok. Please, please take care of yourself <3

#ask #anonymous #mental health #anxiety #panic attack #ecological grief #climate anxiety #climate dread