#and it almost hurts to hear them said again because like. ik those things are true and i wish they brought me comfort but they dont. nothing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bearlypigest · 9 months

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So. I've known to be really pushy and dramatic on the internet lately like humbugging people to like my art more and follow me, I honestly kind of hate doing that now since everyone is telling me to like. Stop doing that, and rn I can see the problem on why they want me to stop doing that, for starters:

1. I end up saying impulsive things on my platforms and due to this a lot of times I don't see that until someone or basically everyone tells me what I'm doing.

2. I realised that I'm actually being a big huge asshole abt begging people to following me and like my art more on Tumblr and Twitter, and that's what's pissing off people the most, I don't really realise this til they actually like say it to me.

I honestly do this often because I want people to like my art and maybe be best friends with other cool artists ik, but I can see that won't happen at all til I stop saying things I know people will not like, as for sure Ik these people are gonna start getting people on me to send hate stuff to me, call me a weirdo, call me a spoilt person, I don't really learn from my actions as I still keep doing the same things that are pissing ppl off, and that's why sometimes it's better I just make a new account and start again, hoping those same ppl won't realise it's me, ik for a fact ppl are gonna call me out because they know I have a Tumblr, and if they do I might just end up going to hiding as I see that I'm only causing people to hate me a bit more, my twitter fans already see me annoying as I still do and say impulsive things, and I don't learn from my actions..

I'll admit rn, I use to copy ppl's other artworks so I could one day get short of better at it by legit just copying them, but overtime I already managed to find my art style as it's actually a mixture of 3 other artists (I'm gonna admit this rn) as I realised that I'm short of that kind of artist that can actually and short copy the other artists art style, and I never use this special tactic of mine as ik for a fact it will just cause more hate towards me, most of my followers don't like me or at least see me annoying already and I don't really blame them because I can be annoying at times both on social media and irl.

Now ofc, you guys may know why I'm saying this stuff, because I ended up saying smth last night before going to bed, I woke up the next day and went to school, but when I got back (like just now) I get 12 messages on twitter, saying that I'm getting really annoying now, one of a popular artist I liked their design said your getting blocked because your a weirdo and says if this helps which in my head is for short for saying "your getting blocked because your a weirdo hope this makes sense now." This actually really hurt me. A lot, almost like my guts just spilled out, it's that feeling where you were a big fan of someone and liked their artwork or smth but when they say something like that... Oof 😣 that really hurts. Especially if your friends say it themselves

I really need to start learning abt my actions and what their causing people to do and say as this has happened to me 4 times now (this probably being the 5th) as I end up saying things that will ether

1. Make ppl think I'm gonna do/draw smth I'm not suppose to without them actually hearing my full story

2. Make ppl say things to me they know will hurt me as this is short of like a message to me for them saying "stfu and just stop"

3. Get ppl very annoyed and agitated to me

Their are cool artists out there I liked but ended up blocking me without them hearing my full story on why I said those things, there are ppl out there that will block me, judge me, make fun of me and hate me, without hearing my full story. This is the one thing I hate abt the internet, is that when you say smth that makes ppl think otherwise, they will not hear you out and understand why you said that. And this gets in my fricking nerves!

I say these things because I'm impulsive "oh that's not an excuse" it is for me, because I do this all the time, you guys already know this, and you know that I don't learn from my actions until someone says smth to me that will get me upset of smth like that!

The reason I say these things, is because ppl only followed me to see FRICKING, mcyt and fandoms only! When I post my OC's and other stuff that doesn't involve them! No one really likes or cares for them, and even if these like what, 5 likes and 2 retweets, it really pisses me off when I look at my view count and see that 50,000,000 ppl saw my oc's or my worlbuilding art! But bloody ignore it!

IM ONLY FRICKING 14! IM JUST A TEENAGER, I AM 10 YEARS YOUNGER THEN ALL OF YOU GUYS! I CANT CONTROL MY ACTIONS! I JUST CANT, IM IMPULSIVE, I DO AND SAY THINGS WITHOUT THINKING WHAT OTHER PPL ARE GONNA SAY, DO OR REACT!

And so, I just wanna say I'm sorry for doing those things, i say those things for a reason, but I end up saying it in a different way, which is why you guys do and say these things to me, I just wanted ppl to enjoy my art, give me compliments, and share my art to the world like they do to others! I just wanted ppl to notice my art and say things like "wow, this is such good lore! I honestly hope you can share more abt your characters!" Or "wow dude your art and lore writer and even designing! Is so fantastic" I want ppl to share my art because I don't just wanna be an artist, I wanna be an artist that helps makes movies, and I want ppl to share my art and love because I want ppl to like my art, lore story's, designing and stuff like that, I always imagine myself making a movie because I'm already thinking of ways to make a movie someday. Someday, that involves mcyt ppl in it.

I'm sorry for saying these things, but the one thing I wanna say, is that instead of calling me a weirdo, a freak, and tell me what I'm doing is wrong in the most hurtful way possible, just tell me to stop in a more nice way and a way where I'll like actually understand it, I don't like it when this happens, because it really gets to me, the fact that you guys say these things to me, I don't think you would like if I or anyone did it back to you, would you? Not like you care at all and think I'm lying, but calling me freak or a weirdo triggered some memories I really didn't want to remember as they did an impact to my life both past and present.

But all I'm saying. Is that I'm sorry for saying these things.

But what I would like to remind you is that: I'm a small art creator who soon wants to be a big artist one day with lots of friends, and that I'm not a fricking adult, I'm only 14, I'm just a kid that does and says impulsive things. And I'm sorry if you forget that m8, and sorry if you get even more pissed off

Most of them ain't really wrong but t the first one is what gets on my nerves as they don't really understand my side of the story on why I said that, and the fact that they were my fav artist to and they go ahead to say this to a 14 y/o

#boris.txt #vemt?#venting???#twitter can be a very hurtful place sometimes #especially for small artists that dont know what their saying til they notice like me #wish ppl could be more nicer on the internet

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bitea-sweetea-roseytocin · 3 years

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Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))

So here is my idea:

Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.

Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚

Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)

Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred

Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""

Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.

An outlet.

A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.

The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.

Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"

Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"

Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"

Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"

Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."

Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.

"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"

Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.

"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"

Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!

"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"

Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.

"Feel better?"

Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"

"Of course, let's go."

It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.

"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"

Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."

Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."

"We'll find it, Ree..."

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."

"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"

Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."

Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."

"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."

"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."

"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."

Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."

"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.

Roman ignored him.

"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.

Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."

"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"

Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"

"I don't!"

"But...-"

"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."

"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"

Remus hesitated just long enough.

"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."

"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"

"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"

Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."

"Oh, Remus..."

"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"

Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."

Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.

"How would you know?"

It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).

"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."

"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."

Roman moved on to look in the next room.

A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.

"Remus!"

The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"

"I- no, Remus what is it?"

"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"

Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.

"Oh, thank Hades."

"Logan had it."

Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"

Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.

Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.

"What is this about?"

Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."

"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."

"It's alright, nerd."

Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.

"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."

Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."

Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"

"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."

"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."

Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.

"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.

As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"

"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?

"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"

Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.

"Fuck."

He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.

"Roman!"

But he found who he wants looking for.

"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.

"Looking for my brother, duh."

"Funny, I just spoke to him."

"Where'd he go?"

"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."

"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.

"He was right, surprisingly."

Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"

"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."

And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.

"Remus?"

"I like you, too..."

Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"

But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.

Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?

Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.

@fireflyjunkie

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infectedpaul · 3 years

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You Matter To Me (Squip/Reader)

You've had your Squip for a bit now and it's been fine for the most part, until he brings up the idea of looking into romantic relationships with others which opens up a lot of wounds you wanted to just bury deep and forget about. But you can't begin the road to recovery without asking why you got there, right?

SO IVE NEVER....WRITTEN AN X READER B4 UGH HJKSAJDASKDJSA esp not for a near dead fandom OH WELL oh well oh well h ignore this my normal followers please please

(warning 4 talks of depression/self degrading talk, its hurt comfort yada yada i need 2 touch grass ik)

ao3 link if u prefer that!!

You weren't made for love, at least, you didn't think so.

For as long as you'd been looking for it, it was always so out of reach. Easily visible, sure. Walking past groups of friends laughing it up on the sidewalks, partners entangled in each other's arms, seemingly trying to make their love known for all. But for you to have any of that for yourself? The heat death of the universe would sooner come, surely.

You'd sort of given up on it. It would be nice, you'd think. To be held, wrapped up in someone's arms, and just to stay there for as long as either of you could want. That cozy, warm feeling of being with someone that you only saw in movies or read about in books. But you had just accepted it wasn't in the cards, so to speak. And you were fine with that.

Well, you told yourself anyway. You knew it was for a deeper reason, though, but that wasn't something you liked to think about too heavily.

It was easier to do that when you didn't have a roommate that could dig into your brain and pry every little detail about them out of you.

When you got your Squip, you didn't know it'd be so adamant about perfecting every little last thing you were. How long or short your hair was styled, if your shoes matched your eyes, how fast or slow you were walking and how too brisk would make you seem like you were constipated but too slow and your likelihood of getting run over by a horse-drawn carriage gone would go up much higher, nevermind that you've never even seen a horse in real life.

What you did know, by now at least was that the Squip was persistent, seeing himself as your guardian angel, a guiding light in your desolate dark world of humanity, ickiness and week old pizza boxes you were too unmotivated to at least move off the bed.

So when his ideal response wasn't given when he proposed seeking out a lovelife, he was...well,

"I'm not sure I understand." His head crooked to the side, puzzled by your surface level indifference, "You're of consenting age, marginally attractive and only slightly under average at socializing. Finding a mate can't be too hard."

His holographic form hummed a soft, near silent buzz, a small imperfection to his otherwise flawless binary makeup. Other than that, and the soft, tinted blue glow around his form, he looked completely human. A little too human, really. Something so real, realer than any CG or video game, but something was just...off, something from the uncanny valley. You hadn't kept him in this form long, you liked to change it up from time to time, maybe to trick yourself into thinking he was someone new, making your brain think you had more friends besides the computer you bought behind a Rack Room.

You didn't look at him though when you responded, too preoccupied with the paper in front of you, decorated with a few characters concocted from your imagination. "I dunno," you shrug, brushing off eraser marks, "Just not my thing, I guess." You could feel his confusion, a bit of gut feeling as his thoughts jumbled in with your own. He was really only in your brain, afterall; the figure behind you sitting on your bed was just something he made up to ease your brain into trusting a new, larger source of perpetually growing information. "But, the purpose of this time in your life is to mate and birth young, is it not?"

You really wished he'd learn to stop talking about you and 'the homo sapien species' like you were a mindless ape made to breed and nothing else.

"Uh, I mean not really. I know that's what everyone around me is doing," Your mind thought back to all the cringey baby announcement videos from kids you knew in high school, "But it's...I guess I'm just not up for it. It's not really for people like me."

He was quiet. Only for a second, before he asked,

"People like you?" Another silence hung in the air. It was a truth you knew he could easily just reach into your brain and find for himself so you kept quiet for a bit longer, waiting for him to start digging. But you didn't feel it, that very familiar sudden ache in the back of your head you got when he went poking around for more things to nag at you about. Just quiet in your room, only the soft buzz and birds tweeting outside your window any solace from the uncomfortable silence you felt.

You shrugged again, and turned to face him, seeing now the muddled and a little concerned look on his face. "You know? The quiet ones, the losers. People like me don't get to be loved. I've just accepted that." You could have said a lot worse, and it seemed like he knew that. You didn't really understand, either. You didn't like yourself, plain and simple.

His concern only seemed to grow, eyebrows furrowing and staring intently at you. You thought for a second, maybe it was anger. It wouldn't be the first time. You were mostly compliant to his (mandatory) suggestions for life improvement, but every once in a while he would propose an idea that you would fight about, like clothes you weren't comfortable wearing for one reason or another. He said he was a learning computer, so he would need your help on things like emotions and comfiness, physical or mental, ruling out whatever the newest trends were. He would be fine afterwards but, he could get pretty huffy about you trying on too skinny-skinny jeans.

But that didn't happen, there wasn't a small but fierce jolt of electricity in your back to stop you from going against 'social programming', as he called it. He just looked at you a bit longer, seemingly turning gears in his head as he tried to process what you're saying.

You gave him a sober smile, trying to still seem indifferent, though for a second you wondered maybe if he was still prying at you, in a different way at least, because if he was, it seemed to be working.

"What? I'm just not that special. You of all people know that, right?" It was almost like you weren't hearing what was coming out of your mouth, that casual self-degradation that almost frightened him. You heard stories from message boards about that, older models of the Squip forcing reprogramming onto the host by breaking down their emotional state with verbal or physical punishment for...just existing, really.

He wasn't really like that though. Yes he could be annoyed when you didn't comply, but you were both good at compromise and treated situations like adults, even if at first you weren't much motivated to treat any situation at all. He informed you while you were looking through those boards that his creators had taken in accounts of previous incidents and built more of a guide to self-improvement than a ball and chain with a backhand. Humans were fragile, he knew that, and it wasn't okay to hurt them just to get a little closer to their goal.

But maybe, did he not think that humans were more than capable of hurting themselves? Their own words used against them, their internal voices bashing against their brains, turning them to mush and making them too scared or unmotivated to build it back up again.

"I just know no one would love some useless, pitiful person...I just kinda got over that a while ago." You almost frightened him with how nonchalant you were about the whole thing. It wasn't intentional, you weren't trying to seek attention or be funny. You just knew there was plenty of other people out there worthy of all that lovey-dovey stuff you thought would be nice but...it's just not meant for you.

There was a knot in his voice as he finally spoke up,

"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" The last piece of the puzzle had finally clicked into place, but he didn't look satisfied, not that cheeky, self-centered chagrin when things went his way or when he was proven right yet again.

You thought he knew that. You thought from day one he just figured that out and that's why he's been trying so hard to make you into a model citizen or something. "Did you just think you were here to help me pick out clothes in the morning?" You laughed, he seemed to know it was forced.

"Well...y-yes, maybe. I just...I never looked into that possibility of…" He was regaining his composure; this was a side you've never seen of him before. He's always been so astute, robotic and to the point. He's never fumbled over his words or had to give himself a second to figure out what to say next.

"How long has it been like this, Y/N?" His hands were folded neatly on his lap, still looking you dead-on, waiting for you to answer his distressed queuerie with worried patience.

You got up out of your chair, pushing it back and behind you to step away from the table and your drawings. "I dunno," you said, taking a few steps towards the long mirror hung on your wall, "for as long as I can remember, I guess." You looked at your reflection, only tired, dark eyes looking back at you. Even though the edge of the bed was visible in the mirror, your Squip didn't show up in it, another reminder of just how alone you were outside of your head.

"I just started to feel like I didn't belong more and more and...that ate me up so much I just started believing in it. I-I didn't wanna go to school or talk to people or even get up 'cause...well," You turned away from the mirror before you could see the tears you'd been holding back, looking at the more distressed figure in view of you again, "what would anyone be missing, really?" You still smiled, that big smile you both worked so meticulously on making seem not too forced when you had to act excited or just blend into normal social gatherings, but it wavered so easily, like a thin strip of paper about to tear off the nail that barely held it up on the wall.

His eyes widened at the sight of your tears, immediately getting up and briskly walking to stand in front of you, not knowing how to proceed in the moment. He hadn't had to deal with something like this yet and he was troubleshooting to see what was the correct response to a human breakdown.

You looked down, covering your eyes with one hand and clenching the other into a fist, big, strained smile still plastered on your face and trying so hard not to seem more weak than you knew you were. You were nothing. You knew that, you thought he did too. You thought you could just fix things, but how could you do that without getting to the source? You knew you couldn't just sidestep around why you wanted things to get better with humans, but with a computer who could read your brain like the newspaper, you thought maybe you could get around that.

You heard him sigh before a feeling of arms wrapping around you caught you off guard, the Squip entangling you in his grasp and his head resting on yours. It was all simulated, you knew. He had done things such as lightly punch your arm as if to say 'Good job, Sport!' or tap your shoulder to grab your attention without startling you, but this was different. He held onto you for a good couple of seconds, a wave of warmth spreading through your body in an instant. He pet back your hair with one hand, rubbing your back with the other and finally broke the silence in the room.

"Y/N, it- ...it pains me, hearing you speak that way about yourself. You're…" He looked down at you, holding you a bit closer and tightening his grip just a tad. "You're an incredible, talented, wonderful person. You've come so far and you've taught me so much about humans and myself and I just couldn't ask for a better-" He stopped. You knew what he was going to say, a better host, a better human, a better assignment to help and guide and-

"A better friend."

A friend?

He never referred to you or anyone with such a personal or affectionate term. It almost didn't seem real, like you maybe misheard him. Your smile had shattered into a small frown and, with teary-eyes and your voice already cracking, you looked up at him, meeting his almost-heartbroken eyes in an expression that looked so foreign on his normally composed face.

"What?"

He gave a weak smile, trying to be comforting but his fear showing plain as day. You could feel it within you too, a pit in your stomach forming as your chest tightened. You knew it wasn't your anxiety, but his.

"Do I need to repeat myself, Y/N? I think of you as a friend and..." His hand moved off of your back and ran itself up to rest on your shoulder, the other holding your cheek and wiping away your tears with his thumb. "I want to do all I can to show you that from here on."

You almost couldn't breathe as you looked at him, feeling for the first time that unconditional love you yearned for. You could feel your heart race in your chest, something you knew he could feel too but you were too crushed to say anything. You simply slammed yourself into his chest, grabbing fistfulls of his shirt that made your hands tingle like they fell asleep. His arms enveloped you yet again, the both of you holding onto each other so tight like either of you would fall through the floor if you let go.

You sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for what felt like hours, and, just maybe, you thought you could hear him crying too, but that'd be silly...right?

When you were finally out of tears to cry, you stood there still, simply bathing in each other's presence, the feeling you only saw in others finally yours. And you knew it was only a matter of time before this too was stolen from you, the universe would take back anything from people unworthy but...for right now, you wanted to be a little selfish.

"I'm sorry." You whispered, face still buried in his shirt.

"For?" His head was rested on yours again, holding up your weak and tired form with no effort, just trying to keep you propped up until you were ready to let go.

"I got you to help me but...I can't even let you in like I'm supposed to. But...I want to. I just want help." You pushed yourself off of him, one thought between you and him and his hands meeting yours, the simulated tingle in there again as you held each other's palms in yours and looked at each other with such exhausted eyes and worn-out but so genuine smiles.

He leaned down and planted a kiss on your forehead, a soft hue of pink blush spreading on your drained and exhausted face.

"I'd love to help, friend."

#dex says things #THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE FLDSJFKLDSFDS #THE WORST PART IS IM PROUD OF THIS UGH #be more chill #the squip #squip x reader #my writing #ITS 530 AM UGH

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leossmoonn · 3 years

Text

New Light

masterlist

pairing - kai parker x fem!human!reader

type - angst, fluff

note - so this is like sometime during season 6. im rewatching the series but i haven't got to season 6 yet (im rewatching it so when i write and include situations and plots from the show, i can be correct w the timeline lol.), so sorry if some of the info and timeline is incorrect. i did a little research to try and get the timeline right though. enjoy! oh! and also i made bonnie and enzo already get together since ik they get together in like season 8

summary - kai tries to make you fall for him

warnings - mild language, suggestive language, make out scene

————

*gif isn’t mine*

Kai watched you as you moved around the kitchen, making dinner for your friends and you. You were in the Salvatore Boarding House, the place you lived in after having your home destroyed by Klaus Mikaelson. The Salvatore brothers adopted you into their home. You had been friends with them for the past few years, so it wasn’t surprising you moved in. You already spent more than half your time here anyways.

Tonight you were having a dinner party, planned by your friends and you to just relax and forget about every crazy thing that had and was happening in your life. Granted, something crazy was probably gonna happen, interrupting the relaxing night, but you held onto hope to have one normal night. Like how you used to before all the supernatural stuff.

One thing kept the hope from staying, though. It was Kai Parker. The insane witch who was ruining everything for you and your friends over the past few months. Stefan had decided to invite him over, make nice with him so you all would have him on your side. You sided with Stefan to not be in a fight with your best friend, but you deeply hated the thought of Kai sitting with you. Eating dinner, staring at you like a creepy stalker, probably plotting your death. Good thing was, though, Elena and Caroline were at the house, helping you. Everyone knew that if you were alone with Kai, you would probably kill him. Bonnie, sadly, was with Stefan and Damon, working out a plan to kill and/or get him back into the prison world.

You were in the kitchen alone at the moment, Kai was sitting at the island table, staring at you. He had a smug look on his face, resting his chin on his palm and leaning on the counter. He never tore his eyes away from you. It made you want to gouge his eyes out. To try and ignore him, you put on music and focused on the dinner you were making.

You sang the lyrics to ‘Since U Been Gone’ by Kelly Clarkson quietly. You moved your body to the beat, chopping up onions.

“You have a beautiful singing voice,” Kai said.

You rolled your eyes, huffing and ignoring him.

“You know, I can sing, too. I used to love singing in the car with my family,” Kai said.

“Before you slaughtered them?” You remarked.

Kai frowned at you, pain shooting through his heart. You continued making steak, turning on the stove and letting it heat up. Elena and Caroline finally came back into the kitchen with ice cream and alcohol. You snatched the bourbon from Caroline’s hand, getting out a cup and pouring yourself a drink.

“Can I have some?” Kai asked.

You nodded, not looking at him. You poured him a glass, walking over and setting it in front of him. His hand reached out to grab the glass, making contact with your hand. His fingers brushed against yours. You felt your skin tingle and goosebumps arose on your arm. Kai noticed and smirked.

“Cold?” He asked.

You glared at him and pulled back your arm immediately. “No.”

Kai chuckled, knowing you lied. He could sense you had feelings for him, even if you never would admit it. He just needed to make you see him differently so those feelings would surface.

You went back to ignoring him, which only fueld his pining for you more.

Elena and Caroline went over to you with the steaks.

“You know, Mr. Socio is in love with you,” Caroline said.

“He's not in love with me. He just likes to chase people and get them comfortable, then hurt them. Since I’m the only one not with a boy who can protect me, with you having Stefan and Damon, Caroline having Tyler and Klaus at her beckoning call, and Bonnie having Enzo, he has chosen me to haunt and stalk,” you said.

Elena looked back at Kai, who was looking at you still. Elena turned her attention towards you, again.

“I hate Kai as much as the next person, but he really looks like he has actual feelings for you. You should give him a chance.”

You scoffed, not believing what you were hearing. “Did you forget that he almost killed Bonnie and your beloved Damon to the prison world? He slaughtered his siblings and father without any remorse. Not to mention, he's an annoying prick.”

Elena laughed, “I used to think about that with Damon. But look at me now, I’m in love with him.”

“Yeah, but Damon isn’t a bad person, he just does bad things. Plus, I have seen the way he looks at you and treats you, he is every girl’s dream. Not to mention, he’s a pretty attractive guy. Kai isn’t like that. I mean, yeah, he’s hot, but he’s not the type of person I, or anyone, would want to date,” you explained and took a sip of bourbon.

Caroline smirked, “So, you are attracted to him.”

“No. You can say someone is attractive but not have any romantic feelings,” you shrugged.

In your mind, though, a little voice in your head told you that you did have feelings for him. You ignored the voice, not wanting to try and battle with your feelings.

“Sure, Y/n. The more you deny it, the worse your feelings will get,” Elena teased.

You rolled your eyes, flipping the steaks. Oil popped off the pan and hit your wrist. You squealed in pain, holding your wrist.

Elena hurriedly got you a cold washcloth and pressed it on your wrist.

“Thanks, El,” you smiled. “Mind taking care of the steaks? I have to keep a cold compress for a little.”

“Not at all. Care, can you get the sundae bar ready?” Elena asked, taking the tongs you used to turn the steak over. Caroline nodded, going over to the cabinets to get ice cream toppings out.

You went over to the living room, slumping on the couch and grabbing the remote. You turned on ‘Gilmore Girls’. You kept the cold compress on your wrist.

You felt the couch sink on your left. You didn't bother to look over, already knowing who it was. You two didn’t even sit in silence for 10 seconds before Kai started talking.

“Rory and Jess should’ve stayed together. Dean’s too soft,” Kai commented while watching the tv.

“Jess is bad for her. He's smart, but he still has no future. Dean really loves Rory and she threw that away,” you argued.

“True, but Jess loves her, too, just in a different way. Dean is so mellow. Jess is fun, exciting, dangerous. Kind of like Damon. That’s why Elena chose Damon instead of Stefan, right? Because he made her feel things that Stefan could never make her feel, which she liked better,” Kai stated.

You glared at him. “She didn’t choose him just because of that.”

“No, she chose him because of that. You choose someone because the way they make you feel, that's how love works,” Kai said, turning his attention towards you.

You felt his burning stare. You decided to turn to him, looking into his dark blue eyes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you sighed.

Kai smiled. His smile made you feel giddy and warm inside. You pushed those feelings away, piling more denial and hate in your mind towards him.

“You have those feelings towards me, too,” Kai smirked.

You peeled your eyes away from him, ignoring him once again.

“Don’t deny it, Y/n. I can see it on your face. I can feel it,” Kai teased, scooting closer.

“Kai, stop,” you muttered.

He got so close to you, you felt his breath on your cheek. Your heart rate picked up and you found it hot and hard to breathe. Heat went down south between your thighs and goosebumps formed on your neck.

“You like me, Y/n. I can hear you breathing heavy and you heart beating fast. I can smell your arousal between your legs,” Kai said, putting his hand on yours.

You pulled your hand away. “I said cut the shit, Kai. You’re making me uncomfortable,” you lied.

Kai’s eyes softened and he moved away immediately. “I’m sorry. I just-”

“You just what, Kai? Think you can use your witchy powers with me to make me fall in love with you? News flash, psycho, I’m not dumb,” you scoffed and stood up.

“I didn’t try to use my powers, I swear. But I can use my powers to heal your burn,” Kai suggested.

“No, I don’t want your help,” you shook your head.

“Get off your high horse and let me help you, Y/n. That burn will take a few days to heal and it'll hurt when you shower or brush something against it. Please, Y/n, I want to help you,” Kai pleaded.

You looked at him. His eyes showed honesty. You sighed in defeat and sat back down on the couch. You moved close to him, your thighs touching. Kai took the cloth off of your burn and held your arm gently. The same, lovey-dovey feelings came back. This time, you didn't fight it as hard, letting yourself enjoy not having to keep up your walls.

“I’m so mean to you, why are you helping me?” You asked.

“Because I like and care about you. I don’t like seeing the people I care about hurt,” he answered.

He put his free hand over your burn. The burn disappeared by skin forming over it.

“Really? If you cared about me, you’d leave me alone,” you chuckled.

“I can’t when I gotta get on your good side. With you and your friends plotting my death, I need an ally,” Kai said.

Your distaste for him surfaced again. You pulled your hand away once the burn was healed.

“That’s why I hate you. See, you don’t actually care about me. I knew it. Don’t sit or talk to me during dinner,” you spat and strutted over to the kitchen.

Dinner was ready, thank the heavens. Damon, Stefan, and Bonnie came into the house on cue.

“Bon!” You exclaimed, running over and hugging her.

“Hey! Dinner smells good,” Bonnie smiled and hugged you back. You pulled away and laughed, “Elena and Caroline made it. I got burned.”

“You okay? I can heal you,” Bonnie said.

“No, uh, Kai healed me already,” you said sheepishly.

“You let that lunatic touch you?” Damon asked.

“He was there and asked. He was being nice, but then he turned into a dick again,” you explained.

“Well, at least you’re not still hurt. C’mon, let’s go and eat. I'm starving,” Stefan said.

You all went to the kitchen, seeing the meal Elena and Caroline prepared set out on the table.

“Hey, babe,” Damon smiled and went over to Elena. He put his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

You looked at them longingly. You wanted what they had. So in love, nothing else mattering in the world but each other. You sat down in between Stefan and Caroline. You cut a piece of steak for yourself and got some mashed potatoes and green beans.

“This is so good, guys. Thanks for inviting me over,” Kai said with a mouthful of steak and mashed potatoes.

“Our pleasure. Mind eating with a closed mouth?” Stefan remarked.

You chuckled at Stefan’s comment while Kai frowned.

“So, what were you three doing while us four were here?” Kai said, gesturing to Damon, Stefan, and Bonnie with his fork.

“None of your business,” Bonnie said.

“Aw, c’mon. We’re friends now,” Kai teased.

“You’ll find out soon,” Damon smiled at him.

Kai frowned again and ate his food in silence.

“Do you guys want some blood to go with your wine?” Caroline asked.

“Yes!” Damon smiled. Caroline got up to get a few blood bags.

All of you except Kai made conversation. While you were talking and laughing, Kai looked at you. He knew his comment earlier got you two on the wrong foot again. He racked his brain with ways he could get on your good side, get you to agree with going on a date with him. He likes you, he really does, he just doesn’t know how to show those feelings without getting rude and angry. He was willing to try for you, though. After a few hours of talking with everyone, people started to excuse themselves to leave.

“I’ll see you later, Bon and Care,” you smiled and hugged your two best friends.

“See you! Have fun with Kai, I think he plans on staying,” Caroline smiled.

“I actually am going to leave, too,” Kai butted into your conversation.

Your heart sank slightly. Since calming down from being angry, your attitude towards him softened. In the back of your mind, you didn’t want him to leave. You wanted him to stay, to pester you, to talk to him, to sit down and have him make you feel the way you did on the couch. You wanted to sit down and enjoy his company. But on the surface, you couldn’t care less.

“But, I want to talk to Y/n before I leave,” Kai said.

Bonnie and Caroline looked between you two quizzically. They smiled and let you two be alone in the kitchen.

You walked to the liquor cabinet, grabbing two glasses and vodka. Kai followed you and sat down in his seat at the island table.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” You asked as you poured him a glass of vodka. You grabbed your glass and went to sit next to him.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier,” he said and looked into your eyes. He took the glass without tearing his eyes away from you.

“You apologizing? Who has you possessed,” you laughed looked around jokingly.

Kai smiled with you as you brought your attention back on him.

“No, this is just me. I know what I said earlier about just wanting you as an ally was wrong. I mean, yes, I want you as an ally, I want all of you as an ally, but I still like you. A lot. And I care about you a lot, too,” Kai spoke.

You took a sip of vodka, sighing. “I accept and appreciate your apology, Kai. But, I don’t like you, not like that anyways, I-”

Kai interrupted you by taking your hand in his. “Y/n, I know I pushed earlier and made you uncomfortable, and I apologize for that, too, but I know that's not true. The look in your eyes when you look at me when you let your guard down is not a look regular friends give each other.”

Your eyes focused on his hand on yours for a few minutes, and looked back up to his face. Butterflies filled your stomach again and his words tugged at your heart strings. Your walls started to come down and as hard as you fought to keep them up, you couldn’t. Kai was getting to you and deep down, you knew he was right. That you cared for him the same way he cared about you.

But then you remembered that he was the enemy. He took your best friend away from you, wrecked havoc on this town, and killed his parent in cold blood. You couldn’t take the chance of getting hurt. So, you pulled your hand away slowly from his, standing up and downing the rest of your drink.

“I admit, I may have some feelings for you. Deep down inside, but I can’t take the chance, Kai. I’m sorry. Thank you for apologizing and not ruining dinner. I’ll see you later,” you gave him an apology of your own.

You started to walk away, but Kai put his hand on your arm. He spun you around and your lips met his. Your eyes widened as Kai kissed you. You tried to fight back from not kissing him, but as his arms wrapped gently around your waist, pulling you in, you melted against him and kissed him back.

As your lips moved with his for the first few moments, you closed your eyes and behind your eyelids, your brain exploded. You could see colors as your lips moved with his, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. His lips tasted like vodka and chocolate ice cream. You wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your fingers in his hair. His tongue swiped on the bottom of your lip and you opened your mouth. Your tongues met and you moaned softly in his mouth, tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck.

You pulled away, needing air. Kai opened his eyes, a big, content smile resting on his lips.

“And friends don’t kiss friends like that. So please, give me a chance. Let me show you I’m different than what you think. Let me show you me in a new light. I can change for you. I want to change. Don’t deny what we have, Y/n.”

You stared into his eyes, knowing you couldn’t deny your feelings any longer. You gave him a small, sweet smile and nodded your head. “Okay, I’ll give you a chance. Prove me wrong, Parker.”

Kai took his hands off your waist, first pumping the air. “I will, I promise.”

————

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#kai parker imagine #kai parker #kai parker x reader #kai parker imagines #tvd #the vampires diaries #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #chris wood x reader #chris wood #kai parker imagine smut #kai parker smut

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

bestie do you really think it's funny to make me cry?

OK WHERE DO I START AUJHUJHDSDUJHFV

deep bre-INCOHERENT SCREAMING

That's it. that's all I have to say.

THEY PASSED THE CHILD PROTECTION BILL I'M GONNA BE CRYING IN A CORNER IF ANYONE NEEDS ME

All those shadowhunters who ran back to Idris I hope you starve to death there. have fun!

Anjali is so awesome OH MY GOD I LOVE HER ALREADY

Rafael is THAT kid I see...it suits him so well.

It had been two very long years stuck in this small office room. But every time Alec saw the way David giggled when Lexi called her father Jalapeno poppers or some other equally ridiculous name, Alec knew it was worth all the trouble.

THIS OMG I'M NOT OK

Alec wondered if that’s why so many leaders before him had been awful. It was easy to be a bad leader. But it took effort to be a good one.

This is so true...I'm so proud of him...

Dani...bestie THAT IMMORTALITY CRISIS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I know it's gonna happen but I was having a very good day. why do you hurt me in such ways... (I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm mentally unstable after the way I screamed reading)

“Anjali,” Diego sighed. “What have I told you about doors?”

“Knock them down?”

“I said knock on them!” Diego corrected, shaking his head. “Not knock them down!”

I'm in love.

HUHYUHKSDYKFVYUFVYU ALEC'S CONSUL VOICE I'M SCREAMING

SIMON BESTEST!! HIM SORTING THE STUDENTS INTO THESE GROUPS I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! AND ANJALI BESTIE GOOD LUCK AT BEATING THE SEELIES!! (good luck with stealing the weapons)

well, Rafael do you perhaps have a little crush? (Grammarly ik I'm writing in lowercase stfu)

ok ok I know this is pretty sad but every time someone gives Magnus or Alec the "you haven't talked to him yet?" look I start laughing-

ALEC'S SO CLUELESS ABOUT MAX AND DAVID I CANT-

“So, you are just going to leave me here and go to York then?” Max demanded now; all puppy dog eyes. “Like my mom left me at the academy?”

Yeah. He took the news a little too well.

MAX PLAYING THE ADOPTED CARD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Is it because you don’t like me?” Max pouted again. “Like my mom…Who left me all alone.”

“You can’t play the adopted card with me, you lil shit,” Rafael laughed. “I’m adopted too.”

I'M SO IN LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE

AWW MAX SEEING THE INSTITUTE AND IMMEDIATELY GOING "David would love this" ISTG THIS KID I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Weren’t you listening to a podcast on Mayan Civilization during breakfast?” Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Bapak said it’s historically accurate!” Rafe argued.

“Bapak is not that old!” Alec countered.

“Maybe he is,” Max said, analyzing the paintings on the walls. “Maybe you don’t know it.”

“Excuse me, I know how old my husband is,” Alec said indignantly.

“Then where are the receipts dad?” Max asked. “Show us the receipts!”

Where are the receipts, Alec? EXACTLY!

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS CAUGHT ON TO MAX'S VERY OBVIOUS CRUSH

“I think he likes David,” Rafe whispered.

“Of course he does,” Alec whispered back. Why were they whispering? “David is a sweet boy.”

“No. I think he ‘likes him’ likes him,” Rafael giggled.

Alec looked at his son sharply. “But-He is..Da..They are children!”

“You’ve never heard a childhood crush?” Rafe grinned.

“No, I was too busy…studying,” Alec sniffed.

“That’s not what I heard,” Rafael bit his lip. “I heard you had a thing for boys in motorcycle jackets.”

“Okay that’s it! You are not allowed to hang out at Hotel Dumort anymore,” Alec said.

Really Alec? Studying? REALLY???

MAX AND RAFE RACING TO THE TRAINING ROOM!!!

the reference to the infernal devices...I'M GONNA KILL THE ALREADY DEAD STARKWEATHERS! I'M ABOUT TO DO SOME NECROMANCY SHIT TO BRING THOSE FUCKERS BACK JUST TO KILL THEM SLOWLY

Hugs max it's gonna be ok buddy.

In that moment, Alec remembered all the talks.

He remembered how his mother had lectured Izzy about not going out alone late at night, but she hadn’t said anything to Jace or Alec.

He remembered the way Jem spoken quietly to Mina in soft Mandarin about how people might call her names, but he hadn’t said anything to Kit.

He remembered the way Julian had told Ty to be careful about kissing his boyfriend in public, but he hadn’t said anything to Dru.

I hate this so damn much. I hate it. It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here.

Sorry for that just got really heated for a second there.

NO NOT THE NIGHTMARE. BABY NO

DAVID MY CHILD!! OMG, HE'S GONNA TAKE UP ARCHERY SOMEONE HOLD ME WHILE I CRY!

“This is who you are,” David said, his voice oddly soft now. Softer than usual. “And you’re beautiful.”

Alec blinked at that.

“Blue,” David said quickly. “I meant you’re blue. Uh, yes.”

BESTIE I SAW WHAT YOU SAID THERE. WE ALL DID

Also, alec sitting outside max's room...IM GONNA-

“David is in there,” Alec whispered. “I just wanted to…check…if everything was okay.”

“Alexander, are you spying on our child?” Magnus demanded. “Without me???”

“What? No! I-”

“Move over!” Magnus sank down next to him. “What are they saying? Are they kissing?”

“WHAT? They are not kissing!” Alec said in alarm. “Wait. Are they???”

He couldn’t hear anything now. Alec panicked.

“I haven’t talk to the kids about kissing yet,” Magnus pointed out. “We can’t talk to Max without talking to Rafael first.”

“Wait. Is Rafael kissing people???”

“Rafael is not kissing people,” Rafael replied as he walked past them to the kitchen. “Also, you guys are shit at whispering.”

Alec rolled his eyes at him and turned to Magnus. “It’s stressful enough that we need to talk about racism in the shadow world. Now we need to talk about kissing??”

“And other stuff,” Magnus chuckled.

Alec groaned into Magnus’ shoulder. “By the angel. Fine. We’ll just tell them there is no kissing. Until they are 30.”

“Hypocrite,” Rafael coughed into his hand as he walked back to the table with a bag of chips.

THIS WHOLE SCENE OH MY GOD.

And srsly alec? 30? really? whips out the extract "kissed" from cassie's website According to my files here-

“And David?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The bedroom door stays open from now on.”

David blinked, his cheeks pink. “I…What?”

“Door stays open,” Alec said, lowering his voice, just a register. “Is that understood?”

AYY ALEC DAD MODE YUCDUHDFHFUHJIUHC THIS IS SO AMAZING IM GONNA SCREAM

Alec advising David with the bow is so close to my heart...IDK WHY IT JUST IS

That conversation...PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK I HOPE HUMANS GO EXTINCT BECAUSE I SURE AM READY TO DIE SO LET'S TAKE THE EARTH DOWN-

“Why don’t shadowhunters have acne?”

"What?" Alec blinked.

“Their skin is like so freaking perfect and smooth and they can just freaking go through puberty without a one freaking pimple and don’t even get me started on the freaking dimples and then-”

Magnus started laughing. Alec felt a little confused.

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS !!!!! THAT DAMN ANGEL BLOOD

That part about how we normalize these little things which are actually hurtful...I didn't realize that. I guess we really do, huh? This just made me want to be more careful with others and if I feel others do this with me, to stop them and correct them.

I loved this chapter so much. You're such a great writer.

I wanted to share something of my own now!! I FINALLY GOT MY COPY FOR RWARB!!!! I told my parents it was a thriller about how the first son and the prince forge a friendship and discover secrets about the government and the monarchy-

The place I bought it from sent me a very cute bookmark. It's a pride bookmark and it's just my first ever pride merch and I'm close to tears. Let's just say my family isn't the most accepting so this bookmark's really precious to me

Sorry, the quality isn't the best. I was in a hurry. It's almost 4 am now I'm gonna try and sleep (I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf). See you on Tuesday!!

Thank you so much. I love reading your comments. They are so honest and full of life. You are going to LOVE rwrb. It's such a good book and it's so romantic and raw and perfect. Lmao about your parents. What they don't know can't hurt them ;) And I loooooooooove your bookmark. Be gay. Do crime.

PS -

"It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here."

THIS IS THE MAIN POINT. YOU GOT IT. SO CONGRATS <3

#THANK YOU ;)#lbaf

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wreckofawriter · 4 years

Text

The Need For You

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Sirius' Daughter!reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none, swears?

Request (from my wattpad): Can you do something with Sirius Blacks daughter and Draco? Shes a Gryffindor also thank you sm I love ur work!!

A/n: Before you destroy me in the comments, ik that Sirius got killed by Bellatrix not Lucius but idc. It's for plot. Anyway hope you enjoy! Request are open!

You had tried being nice, you really had. The first years when you were plunged into the wizarding world you had smiled and nodded taking abuse and ridicule from most of those at your school. It wasnt always direct, sometimes it was just the hatred and the whispers that you could feel from across the hall, you were disrespected, treated like you were less of a human than the rest. So you stopped being nice, in the third year instead of smiling you snarled, you stopped nodding when people told you you weren’t worth anything. You were done being spit on because of your last name.

Third-year was not a good one for you. Your last name was in all the papers, headlining the daily prophet. It was whispered in halls and spoken quietly between teachers. Sirius Black had escaped and now everyone was scared he was going to find you. People stopped talking to you. One of the girls locked you out of your dormitory, fearful your father would come looking for you. That was how you officially met Draco Malfoy.

You wandered the halls, not sure where you were even going. As you rounded a corner you locked eyes with the blonde boy who had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his robes. You figured he wouldn’t say anything as you passed but you were wrong.

“Why are you out of bed?” Draco sneered narrowing his eyes.

“None of your business Malfoy.” You spat back shouldering past him and to your surprise he chuckled.

“It’s nice that you dropped the act you know.” You could feel his eyes on you as you paused.

You spun around, “What act?”

“The one you put on last year. It was a bit annoying, the whole nice girl thing.” He shrugged, “It’s good to see your true colors finally shining through.”

“Go fuck yourself.” you scoffed walking back down the hall.

He only smirked and watched you leave.

Draco was interesting. He was a dick, you knew that his dad was a rich asshole and he wasn’t any different. But much to your surprise he or anyone else from his possie for that matter ever messed with you. At first, you thought they feared your father, or even you but you began to suspect something else. Draco, Goyle, Crabbe, Parkinson, they had nothing to pick on you for. Their parents were killers too, it would be like a pot calling a kettle black. If you weren’t wearing red robes you may have even been friends with them, maybe. But something told you you could never look at Pansy without wanting to knock her teeth in.

Draco nodded to you in halls, occasionally smiled at you in classes and when moved next to you for being too loud in Transfiguration he was relatively pleasant, despite a few unpleasant comment here and there. He still irked you, he was whiny and weak, he hadn’t had to work a day in his life and you figured he never would, but the truth was he was your first actual friend.

Everything changed when suddenly Harry Potter, someone you had been desperately trying to avoid, pulled you aside and tell you what you thought was an elaborate prank. He then brought you to your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who had told you it was all true.

You were stunned, your father wasn’t a killer, he hadn’t betrayed his friends he hadn’t murdered anyone. He would be free, you would be free too. Free from glares and ridicule. All of that came crashing down when they explained that Peter Pettigrew, your only proof had gotten away.

You had been angry for a while. Everything you had been told your entire life, by your peers, your teachers, your mother, it was all a lie. And now only you and four others knew that. It was almost like some sort of cruel trick. You got over it by the next year. You realized that while everyone still thought you were a killer’s daughter, you knew you weren’t and that was enough.

The Golden Trio befriended you. At first, it seemed forced, like they were acting, mocking friendship. But the awkwardness melted away and you found yourself with friends, ones you could laugh and talk with. It was nice, really nice. You were finally happy.

On your fourteenth birthday you got a card from an owl you didn’t recognize. When you read the small note you almost cried. It was from your father. He told you he was sorry. He was sorry he wasn’t there for you, that he couldn’t properly meet you. He said he loved you and always would.

Draco hated it. He hated when out of nowhere you were suddenly best friends with Harry Potter. It was sickening. Why did Harry Potter get everything he wanted? None of it was fair, you were supposed to be his. He was livid, he had made progress with you, you looked at him in the halls you had snorted at some of his jokes and now you were practically attached to his arch-enemy. So Draco did the natural thing. He hated you. He pushed you down and called you names. He belittled you and your father, he called you weak, stupid, pathetic. You snapped back. You always did, you weren’t like the others.

You spat nasty nicknames back at him, you pulled him down with you. And that was the most interaction with you Draco ever got. He spent his fourth year in a swarm of jealousy and anger only making things a thousand times worse for himself.

You didn’t think of Draco much, you missed his snarky comments and the banter you had with him but not a lot. His sudden torment of you made it easy to forget that he had once been nice. You got used to hating him, he made it so easy.

When you finally met your father it was strange, like someone had pointed at a stranger and told you that that person loves you more than anything else in the world and you were supposed to love them the same. You knew he was still your dad it was just all so weird. It seemed like he knew Harry far better than he knew you. It didn’t take you long to actually begin to care for the man. He was easy to talk to, despite the awkwardness of the entire situation there was never an uncomfortable silence. You were calling him Sirius for a while, maybe it was because you just didn’t want to call him dad or maybe it was because you were afraid too. Either way just as you were leaving to go back to school you called him it by mistake, he had engulfed you in a hug, and that was the first time in a long time you had cried.

Draco seemed off the entire year. He didn’t put nearly as much time into bullying as he usually did. He bounced around a lot, looking almost paranoid as if he knew something was coming that you didn’t. He joined Umbridges group of assholes and broke Harry’s nose but he didn’t even look at you, you were invisible to him.

But you weren’t invisible. Draco wasn’t sure what it was but when he lay his eyes on you in fifth year he had been completely enamored. He had liked you before, as much as he tried to deny that he had. But now it was like someone had turned a knob and he couldn’t even look at you without feeling an intolerable need. A need for you. So he did what he could, he ignored you completely, he would force his eyes away from you at meals, he threw himself into classes forgetting about the outside world. He didn’t speak to you until a few days before he was supposed to go home.

You couldn’t breathe. You felt like you were getting punched in the gut over and over again. You had just gotten him back. After 14 years you had finally hugged him and loved him. And now he was dead.

You were going to kill him, part of you really wanted to, it was what he deserved, what he would get. You found him late at night, your eyes were hot with tears as you approached him, your wand clutched so tightly in your had your knuckles were beginning to go white.

“Malfoy!” You shouted, there was no one around to hear.

He turned and to your surprise his own grey eyes were glassy, his face was streaked with tears, their trials shining silver in the delicate moonlight. He looked so incredibly broken at that moment your wand dropped back to your side.

“I heard about your dad.” He croaked, “My dad did it right?”

You stood silent tears dripping off your chin, your eyes narrowed, mouth curled in hurt.

“I’m sorry y/n. I’m so sorry.” He spoke taking a few steps towards you.

You raised your wand back up, it sat inches from his neck. You shook with sobs, your throat was closing up around nothing, your blood rushed in your ears.

Draco didn’t flinch, he just stared down at you, you looked so pretty with tears in your eyes, they glinted like stars. Your cheeks were flushed a fragile shade of pink, they almost matched your lips.

“I hate you.” You whispered and for a second you thought you were going to do it. But then the second passed and you dropped your arm back to your side spinning on your heel and walking back to your common room.

Draco watched you leave, his own tears thick and sticky on his cheeks, those three words hurt more than any spell you could have cast.

You went back to scowling the following year. You were short with people, you glared more often than you laughed. Draco knew you were watching him, he knew you didn’t trust him, you knew he was up to something.

But the way you looked at him was off. It wasn’t the way Harry, Ron and Hermione did, it wasn’t full of the hatred you claimed to have. It was observant, keen, and almost soft. It was strange that Draco couldn’t quite place it.

“I don’t hate you.” You said suddenly to him one day on your way down to the greenhouse. It was hot out, the sound of birds and laughter around you. “I hate your father, but I don’t hate you.”

Draco just stared at you, your hair was glowing in the sunlight, your lips glistened with lip balm, you peered up at him expecting him to say something.

“I just thought you should know.” You finished before continuing down the slope. Draco stood frozen for a moment.

“Wait!”

You stopped turning back to the boy as he took quickened steps towards you. “What?” you asked when he reached you.

“I’m sorry y/n, about everything.” He said, “I really am.”

You paused biting your bottom lip, “I know.” you smiled softly.

You nodded to Draco in the hallways again. You sat next to each other in Herbology and you talked quietly in the dead of night. Draco felt his affection towards you grow with each smile and look his way. You knew what was pierced into his skin but you never mentioned it, instead, you talked about meaningless things like quidditch games ad muggle music. Draco became your escape from the real world. He reminded you of when things were easy if they ever were.

It was late May. The crickets and frogs at the edge of the black lake were loud in your ears. You and Draco lay side by side in the dewy grass, your robes dampening as you stared up at the stars. It had been your idea, star gazing, you did it for the astronomy tower often but it was different out on the grass, it was better.

You felt Dracos hand twitch beside yours, his thumb brushing the top of your palm. Without thinking much you reached out and grabbed it, eyes still glued on the sky.

Draco felt his face heat at the feeling of your hand in his own, your skin was soft, it felt good to have your fingers intertwined with his own. He turned his head to look at you. The stars reflected in your eyes, your hair splayed around you as moonlight carved your face with delicate slopes and ridges. You were so incredibly gorgeous.

You felt his stare turning to meet his eyes. You stayed still for a second a soft wind rippling the grass around you. Your heartbeat droned in your ears, its beat slowly increasing as you stared into deep pools of icy grey.

Draco broke the silence his grip on your hand tightening, “I’m in love with you y/n.”

You didn’t move, you didn’t even look surprised, your eyes continued to flick around his face as if you were looking for something. You moved closer to him, your heartbeat so loud the sound of crickets drowned out behind it. You were inches form him when you finally spoke, your eyes trained on his, staring deep into his thoughts. “I know.” your voice was a whisper, breath fanning over his face.

Draco leaned forward, waiting for you to stop him but you didn’t. Your eyes slipped closed and you met slowly. Your lips were smooth and soft against Draco’s slightly chapped ones, your hands found their way to his hair as his wrapped around your neck pulling you close to him. The kiss was sweet and slow, he tasted minty and warm. Your tongue swiped his bottom lip and they parted allowing you to deepen the kiss as he tugged lightly on your hair.

You broke apart slowly, breath mingling as you stared into his eyes, “I need you Draco.” you mumbled pulling yourself into his embrace.

Taglist:

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

@sleepingalaska

Masterlist

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #draco imagine #draco malfoy x reader #sirius black #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy imagine #draco x oc #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter x reader

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angelthebedsheet · 4 years

Text

a/n: @tom-hlover i hope this was to your liking! it was a lil hard but i do love tom holland’s spidey so here it is! i just assumed that it was a romantic relationship too !!

lets get it!

——————————————————————————-

okay so first things first?

yall are ATTACHED at the hip

ned and mj clown peter for this all the fucking TIME

like he always walks you to class and sits next to you in class

peter we get it you want this melanin dial it back

and you are a superhero FIEND

anyone who knows you knows you go feral for superheroes and spiderman specifically

mj knows this, ned knows this, peter definitely knows this

mj always just gotta give peter a look like

whenever you start gushing about whatever spidey did that night

“peter did you see him last night?! he looked so amazing!”

“ah yeah n/n i saw!”

internal SCREAMING

like his beautiful amazing talented spectacular crush and best friend is fawning over him ???

mind boggling brothers

i mean your lockscreen is one of those press hold ones that move? so at first it’s a group picture of you, peter, mj and ned then you hold and boom its spidey swinging

peter found this out by accident and simply lost his mind in his room

you would do ANYTHING to see spidey in action and anYTHING TO HELP

bbg just wanna be a hero too 🤪

this day peter couldn’t come over to your house this time bc of his internship and had to leave early

aka code word for spidey shit to do lmao

and you’re a lil bummed

“but petey it’s wednesday and we were supposed watch mean girls and legally blonde.”

“i-i know i’m sorry n/n i’ll make it up to you”

mj and ned heard that and LOST IT

you frowned watching peter book it outta there like the lights were out

i mean my mans usain bolted it

mj and ned couldnt go home with you either so that sucked

you didnt usually walk home by yourself and honestly you really didn’t want to

it mf queens man. it’s not the safest place in the world

you started walking home and decided to buy some snacks n shit bc you saw them glazed donuts lookin real SCRUMPTIOUS AND FRESH in that packet

now you got the snacks secured in your bag and ready to go

you’re walking down the sidewalk when you hear some grunts and scrapping sounds?

you look down the alleyway and literally see your idol spiderman cornered

nuh uh not on your watch

you dropped your bookbag and tied ya braids/locks/afro back and took a running start

just as spidey was about to get punched you KICKED that mf straight in the cheek

spidey is like ????

“get got bitch!”

y/n???? awSHIT

its YOU

on one hand that was badass and two WHY ARE YOU HERE AND NOT HOME???

you grabbed a random pipe laying around and went ham on that bitch

peter is like confused and panicking as he stands up

you are handling your shit you aint need no mf powers

you got the black nasties on that was powerful enough

you are deadass yelling BITCH each time you hit them

peter snaps outta it and pulls you back

bc damn they knocked out alr you were bashing that hoe IN

you drop the pipe and turn to spidey with that big ol smile

peter felt his knees buckle

“you okay spidey? you looked like you needed some help?”

holy shit?

“u-uh t-thank you y–miss”

he had to speak from the belly with that

(i can hear my chorus teacher going SING FROM YOUR DIAPHRAGM)

while yall chatting it up another villain swooped in and threw some shit at yall?

idk how to describe it but it damn near almost impaled you but thankfully peter’s spidey sense kicked in and he pulled you out of the way

even though now you’re in fucking DANGER you’re losing your mind bc you are pressed up against peter’s chest

like damn spidey you really built like that?

peter on the other hand is like shit

cant let the loml aka crush slash bestfriend get hurt but i gotta fight these mfs....

he’s like fuck it man we gon dip just this once and picks you up

“hold onto me real quick?”

“o-oh okay????”

you’re living the fuckin DREAM and wrap your arms around his neck

peter’s trying to stay professional but ... girl you smell good asf and you basically intoxicating babyboy

then he just tHWIPS it outta there and hooks his foot onto your bookbag

shit was sexc even tho that didnt make much sense

yall SWINGING thru the streets with a lil funk and soul

you’re fully living the dream now baby!

he kinda just kicks his foot up and you catch your bookbag before wrapping your arms around his neck again

he swings yall onto a building roof top and you’re in awe

you’ve never seen queens like this before

he lets you go

“woah....”

“beautiful right? one of the benefits of being able to swing around”

“i know thats right...”

he’s just admiring you now

lil did we know tony stark PEEPED that shit thaNKS KAREN

you noticed spidey just staring at you and you lwk feel your cheeks heat up (bc black people don’t blush ❤️)

spidey you deadass left two CRIMINALS out in the open like hurry up

“h-hey can we take a picture together? i wanna show my petey that i met you!”

MY PETEY?????

“o-oh uh sure? also who’s.... who’s petey?”

“oh he’s my best friend! technically his name is peter but i love giving him nicknames.”

bitch oh???

you turned on your phone and show him your lockscreen pointing at peter

“isnt he just adorable?”

palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy

“ah. do you. do you like him?”

you kinda just unlock your phone while looking away

“y-yeah i mean who wouldn’t? he’s perfect... 👉🏽👈🏽”

PETER INTERNALLY WENT

bro HE’S ASCENDING

YOU LIKE HIM????

PETER PARKER???

HIMS???

THIS WHITE BOY FROM QUEENS?????

“you like peter?”

“yes.”

“peter parker?”

“yes?”

“oh thank god”

“i beg your pardon?”

PETER....

“oh i um i said that b-because i know him and im pretty sure he likes you back”

“oh???”

“y-yeah. he talks alot about you”

my mans are you really... snitching on yourself?

he really being his own wingman...

“really?”

“yup. i get it too. you’re. you’re beautiful.”

you went

😳

🕶🤏🏾

are my eyes deceiving me or is spiderman calling me BEAUTIFUL???

now yall both flustered

you’re thankful for your beautiful melaninated skin

peter’s thankful for that mf mask

“t-the picture”

“o-oh right”

cue tony PLOTTING like a mf

yall take two cute lil selfies together before spidey realizes he on the fuckin JOB

“ah i have to go let me take you home. where do you live?”

and you tell him your address even tho he already had it memorized by heart

he swang you to your doorstep and waved you goodnight before going back to handle those criminals

after that peter’s finally on his way home when tony pipes up

“was that the girl you always talk about”

“m-mr. stark??? you saw that??”

“all of it. she’s badass i want her on our team.”

“?!”

that night you got an email from tony stark and you RANG UP PETER SO QUICKLY TO LOSE YOUR SHIT ABT NOT ONLY TONY BUT SPIDEY TOO

“PETER OMFG BRO LOOOKKKKK I GOT AN EMAIL FROM TONY AND I ALSO MET SPIDERMAN TODAY. HAVE THE GODS FINALLY CHOSEN ME AS THEIR FAVORITE FOR TODAY????? JAJDJSJDNSKDNXN”

“t-that’s amazing n/n!”

the next day at school you absolutely GLOMPED him and mj

you are BUZZING with energy

mj’s kinda like?? did peter dick you down or some shit why you this hyped in the morning???

peter alr knows and is internally screaming into the void bc you like him back????

you’re already showing mj the pictures like “BRO LOOK HE EVEN HELD MY WAIST YESTERDAY!!”

ned is like 😏

mj is like 😌

they giving peter the LOOK

bc bro.... cmon now peter.

mj and ned dip leaving you to gush to peter alone

“do you think i can really be a hero petey?”

“d-definitely n/n i mean you did save spiderman yesterday”

“you’re right!”

peter has lost his shit too many times

“also petey. i like you alot.”

cheek kiss and dip

petey boy is stunned standing there in the halls like 😳

then he revives himself like ik this pretty bitch didnt just kiss and dip me like that

now he chasing you

alls good

mj and ned got blackmail too

#spiderman x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x black!reader #spiderman x black!reader #tom holland #tom holland’s spiderman #ned leeds #mj watson #x black reader #x female reader #spiderman headcanon

173 notes · View notes

violetwolfraven · 3 years

Note

Hey :)

Could I request 18 ("I didn't ask you to do that!") for Sprace in canon era? Maybe some angst with a Happy Ending?

Bold of you to assume I have the emotional capacity to write angst if I’m not putting a happy ending or at least the potential for one in there. This should be fun! I need to write more stuff from Spot’s POV so I’ll try that today!!

This is kinda Spot’s side of the ikeshot fic I just wrote btw.

Tw: violence, stab wound mention, blood.

...

Spot’s hands were shaking as he washed the blood off in the washroom of Brooklyn’s Lodging House.

He was more rattled than he’d ever been since he became King of Brooklyn, and that was including every brawl, rumble, and attempted coup he’d endured since he was 13. It was even counting the heart-pounding adrenaline from when he and Race first got together, the terror of letting himself care about someone.

Caring about people was terrifying. It still was.

But what Spot was feeling now wasn’t just fear. It was anger. It was protectiveness. It was just this kind of... shakiness down to his core.

Jester, the leader of Queens, had apologized and offered what help he could, but it hadn’t made it any better. Neither side knew who’d broken the terms of the rumble and brought a knife. Jester swore he’d told his kids to come unarmed.

But the damage was already done.

They’d had to rush Hotshot back to the Lodging House.

There was so much blood.

“Hey.”

Spot was already so rattled that he jumped, not having realized there was anyone behind him.

Fortunately it was just Race, but he was still kicking himself that he let himself get snuck up on like that.

Wait, it was Race... in the middle of the night in the wrong borough?

“What’re ya doin’ here?”

Race shrugged, coming over to stand next to him, “Bluebird showed up at our Lodging House. She said Rafaela said Hotshot was hurt and you needed me.”

Spot made a mental note to remind Rafaela that Bluebird was too young to be on the streets alone at night, but with the fact that she’d known to send for Race...

He guessed he wasn’t particularly surprised. Raf was always intuitive, and she’d known Spot longer than anyone else still in Brooklyn. Of course she knew about them.

“What else did Blue tell ya?”

“Nothin’. What happened?”

“The usual,” Spot muttered, “We fought Queens again. Only this time... this time nobody won. We called a truce cause Hotshot got stabbed.”

Race’s eyes widened, “Oh, damn.”

“Yeah. We agreed no weapons, but somebody snuck a knife in. Jester swears he don’t know who. He wasn’t lyin’.”

“Is Hotshot okay?”

Spot shrugged, “He’s alive.”

Panic shot through his heart suddenly at the realization of how close it had come with how ‘he’s alive’ was the only thing Spot had to say right now.

Between having to carry Hotshot home and keep the stab wound from killing him, he hadn’t had time to think. Hadn’t had time to panic. It was just keep Hotshot alive and whatever you do, do not think about what happens if you lose him.

Spot left the room quickly, speed-walking up the stairs to his room. He could hear Race following, but he couldn’t bring himself to care until he got up there and saw his second. He just had to be sure he was still with them.

Hotshot was unconscious and pale, but still breathing, thankfully.

He was a big, strong kid, but he looked young and vulnerable in the moonlight.

He was 15.

He was 15 and he’d almost died on Spot’s watch tonight.

“Hey,” Race said quietly, closing the door behind them, “He’s gonna be okay. I can see him breathin’ from here.”

“You didn’t see the blood,” Spot mumbled, “There was so much of it. I thought he was gonna bleed out right in front of me.”

“He didn’t.”

“He coulda. He almost did. And it woulda been my fault.”

“C’mon Spot, it ain’t like you’re the one who stabbed—“

“Why are you even here, Race?” Spot hissed, turning to him, “Why’d ya walk over the bridge in the middle of the night, huh? I didn’t ask you to do that!”

“No, ya didn’t,” Race admitted, still meeting Spot’s stare and matching it for intensity, “Your friends did, cause they knew ya needed someone to be there for you and ya wouldn’t let them be. So I’m here. For you. So talk to me, love. Why do ya think Hotshot bein’ hurt is your fault?”

Spot really wished he could argue. He still felt shaky inside, and talking about why felt dangerous. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to go over to Queens and punch every kid there in the face or if he wanted to run away and find some dark corner to cry in, but he was just... shaky. Rattled.

He trusted Race, though. A part of him wanted to lean on him. To talk through this soul-shaking fear that for some reason was stemming from almost losing his second.

“It’s my fault because Queens stepped in on our territory one time and I couldn’t leave well enough alone,” he said finally, “I planned that rumble. I knew it’d end in Brooklyn injuries and... and... God, it almost ended in us losin’ Hotshot.”

It was only now fully sinking in that Spot didn’t know what he’d do if Hotshot died. He didn’t know if he’d be able to run Brooklyn without him. He could lose a lot, but he could not lose Hotshot.

“He’s 15 years old,” he whispered, “He’s a child and I almost got him killed.”

Race was still looking him in the eye, completely level. A little sad, but mostly just calm.

As scared as he still was, it was helping Spot calm down, too.

“It wasn’t your fault, Spot,” he said firmly, “Ya can’t account for every risk every time. You couldn’ta known a Queens kid would break the terms.”

Spot shrugged, pointing to his temple, “See, up here, I know you’re right. But in here...”

He gestured vaguely to his chest. The part that still felt cold and shaky with fear.

Four years of being king, and he’d managed not to lose too many kids in that time. He’d lost a few to sickness, but those were predictable. Those were preventable, if he planned hard enough. And deaths via gangsters or bad parents were preventable if he made sure everyone was careful, so overall, Spot managed to keep most of his borough alive, or at least predict it when one of them was going to die and make sure he and everyone else was prepared for it.

Hotshot’s close call was so sudden. Spot hadn’t expected it. He guessed that was why it was freaking him out so much. That he hadn’t predicted and prepared for if a Queens kid was armed.

The fact that he hadn’t accounted for that risk was probably why he felt so guilty. He felt like he should’ve known. Should’ve warned Hotshot before he got hurt.

“You told me once that I was your biggest weakness,” Race muttered, putting a hand on his shoulder, “I don’t think that’s true.”

“What?”

“Spot, ya don’t let a lot of people in, but with the ones you do, it’d destroy you if you lost one of ‘em. That’s why you’re so rattled over Hotshot. Cause this was a close call and he’s like a little brother to you.”

That was... true, even if Spot had never really thought about it before. He knew he cared for Hotshot, but he’d never really thought about how it was something similar to how Joey cared for Bart and Walking Mouth cared for Les.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him,” he admitted.

Race put his arms around him, leaning his head onto Spot’s shoulder, “You won’t lose him. I’m pretty good at first aid and stuff. I’ll stick around tonight if it’d make ya feel better.”

Spot did want Race to stay, though it wasn’t for his first aid skills.

“In the mornin’, you’s should head back over to Manhattan,” he said quietly, “Hotshot ain’t gonna like bein’ on bedrest, so bringin’ Ike over to make sure he stays in bed is probably our safest bet.”

“Oh, good idea. Those two are so cute.”

“Y’know who else is cute?” Spot asked, feeling suddenly like things might turn out alright.

“Who? Me?” Race asked with a laugh.

“No. Your mo—“

Race was already trying to keep his laughter quiet by the time he put his hand over Spot’s mouth, “Don’t finish that sentence. You’re ridiculous.”

Spot shoved his hand away, smiling, “Look who’s talkin’.”

“Guilty.”

Spot didn’t feel so shaken anymore. Race was here, and Hotshot was a strong kid, and everything was going to be fine.

#newsies #sprace #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #hotshot newsies #canon era #angst #angst with a happy ending #violence tw #stab wound tw #blood tw #violet’s writing

38 notes · View notes

oncefutureemrys · 3 years

Note

OK WAIT LOOK IK I SENT YOU A SHITTON OF TITLES BUT LIKE THIS SOUNDS SO CUTE SO LIKE only if you want to.... but....

18 w merlin & arthur ? ?

again only if you want to ahaha

hehehe of course!!!! this is so exciting!

Edit: I am an idiot and I apologize for dumb.

Anyway, hello! This is a thing I finished editing instead of sleeping.

Please enjoy!

Send Me A Prompt And Characters And I'll Do It!

You Can Find It On AO3 Here!

Arthur, in all of his life, had never really understood the concept of longing.

Maybe because he had rarely ever longed for much. Well sure, when he was a kid he had longed for that certain toy that someone else had, or certain books and sweet treats. Longed for some friends he could play with at school, for some people to hang out with after class.

Sometimes he would secretly wish that he had both a mother and a father like the other kids. Maybe a more understanding father, one that hugged him as all the other kids’ parents did. That let them cry and were always there to dry his tears. To ask how he was doing, not because they were looking for anything else, but just because they had wanted to know.

But Arthur was a resilient child and with time he had learned to adapt to the way things were, learned to accept them, and know that they would never change. Besides, he was fine living his life completely without longing. He even laughed about it a couple of times when he watched cheesy romantic movies, shouting at the screen at how “dumb” these characters were and how “everyone could clearly tell they were in love!”

But then, one thing or another happened, and Arthur somehow met Merlin Ambrose. Merlin Ambrose could be explained quite clearly as one of those people. Those people you wondered how they lived because everything just seemed to come naturally to them. Not to mention, he was someone who complimented as many people just to make their day, someone who gave teachers apples, but not in a teacher’s pet way but more in an I’m-very-sweet-and-care-about-people way, and was just constantly happy, always being a source of great happiness for people.

Needless to say, Merlin was sweet and kind and caring and resilient and brave and most definitely, Arthur’s best friend. He was everything he wasn’t and in a way, he was everything he needed.

He’s not sure how they became so close. He remembers them being a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend at one point, he remembers them sharing quick waves in the hallways, he remembers those shared looks across the classroom. He’s not sure when it all clicked; when the stars aligned, when the two became the best of friends. It seemed to be almost gradual… as if they were taking their time, slowly unpacking each other bit by bit.

However the case, six years later, three years into college, Arthur felt the beginnings of this… feeling in his chest. It was like pain, but in his heart, a pain that made him lose his breathe and complete focus.

He had asked his half-sister (and one of his closest friends beside Merlin, although he would never admit that in his wildest dreams), Morgana, about what it might mean. She had just stared at Arthur long and hard before laughing so loudly, holding her stomach. “Oh dear,” she had said after finally reigning in her chuckles and wiping her tears away, “You have got it bad.”

Honestly, he figured she was off her rocker because nothing she was saying was making any sense. Because… well, when she ended up explicitly telling him – quite disappointedly, might he add – that he was in love with Merlin , well nothing seemed to add up. Because, sure, there were instances where they looked at each other too long, where they sat a bit closer to one another, and Arthur had noticed their shoulders slightly brushing. There were times when the sound of Merlin’s laughter would make his heart sing with joy, times when his throat would get dry when he saw Merlin in tight clothing, times when he felt his face get flushed and stutter wildly whenever he whispered in his ear… but, well, that happened with everyone. There was nothing… going on about any of it. Morgana was just being her usual pain and sooner or later, this would all blow over.

But alright, maybe he was slightly missing the idiot. Maybe some days he would wake up and check his phone to see if he had texted back, maybe sometimes he would be so close to just calling him and talking with him till three in the morning, maybe sometimes he wondered if he could just get in his car and drive ten hours to his college just to say hello.

But that was that! There were no romantic feelings between them whatsoever. They were strictly… friends . The idea of a romance had never even crossed his mind before Morgana had mentioned it. And while Arthur could be an idiot sometimes, he surely couldn’t be that much of an idiot. No, he was positive he would know if he was in love with his best friend.

Right?

A knock on the door startles him from his thoughts, causing him to nearly jump. He wonders who the hell could be at his door this late in the day. He wants to ignore it but something deep within himself tells him that this might be a missed opportunity if he didn’t at least check.

And usually, he would check before opening it, he would make sure it wasn’t some kidnapper or some murderer about to kill him. But seeing as he was angry and sad and missing an idiot who he very much was not in love with, thank you very much, he forgot all about checking before shoving the door open.

He’s about to open his mouth, yell at someone for waking him at this late night, get out all of this excess frustration he held within him when his eyes met familiar blue ones and his mouth hangs wide open.

He’s looking at him with an amused, dazzling smile, and Arthur feels like he might pass out from the number of butterflies that are in his fucking stomach at the moment.

Merlin asks, “Did you miss me?” with the smugness of someone who knows he has and is just asking to sound cool and Arthur’s first instinct is to kiss the living daylights out of him.

The second option on Arthur’s What To Do In Social Situations That Involve Merlin Ambrose list is to lift him off the ground and hug the fuck out of him.

Arthur, without a second thought, grabs hold of Merlin, twirling him around. Merlin shrieks before laughing loudly, holding onto him for dear life. The hug ends quickly, however, when Arthur loses balance and they both topple to the floor.

They find themselves sprawled on the ground, shaking with laughter in the middle of a hallway, their sides hurting with how hard they’re laughing.

“Why—“ he gasps – “did you –“ another intake – “do that?” Merlin asks and Arthur can’t help but laugh breathlessly, turning to look at him.

“I missed you,” he says without explanation, only realizing afterward what he has just said.

Merlin grins back at him. “I missed you too.”

He shivers imperceptibly at the way that Merlin is looking at him, slight goosebumps on his skin. At that moment, Arthur has never felt happier, never felt more alive. His heart is pounding with joy and he can’t help but grin back at him.

Merlin stands and pulls Arthur up. The contact of their hands sends a jolt of electricity through him and Arthur flushes in embarrassment.

They were maybe four feet apart but it felt like less with the way Merlin was looking at him, all pure and happy and loved . Arthur takes a sharp intake when Merlin smirks, taking a small step closer, slightly hesitating as if he’s worried he’s read the situation wrong. When Arthur doesn’t move, Merlin takes another small step. Then a bigger one. Then another and another and then—

Their feet are touching, they’re so close that he can hear Merlin’s breathing, can visibly see the way that he licks his lips, the way he slowly leans in. They’re mere inches apart at this point, Merlin stopping just centimeters from his face. Arthur’s internally freaking out at this point because he’s never been so close to kissing someone before and fuck , he was an idiot and in love with him and holy shit he was in love with Merlin Ambrose and he seemed to love him back and what the fuck does he do what is happening he —

“Can I come in?”

Arthur jumps, startling so much he nearly falls. “S-sorry?”

Merlin grins. “Can I come in… to your room? I didn’t exactly want to stay out here for the rest of the day.” He gestures towards the hallway and Arthur’s face somehow burns even more.

“I—yeah, uh, sure, yes.” Arthur opens the door, scratching his neck before awkwardly gesturing inside. Merlin simply raised his eyebrows, smiling amusedly at him before entering.

“Thank you,” he says. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, the way his cheekbones become more prominent… Arthur has never felt this much love and panic in his entire life.

Arthur just nods, suddenly questioning how anyone else could function properly around Merlin fucking Ambrose.

Taking one last breath of fresh air, straightening his shoulders, and feigning confidence, he walks into his apartment, hoping he won’t make a fool out of himself today He wasn’t sure how exactly his life had gotten to this point, but fuck, did he feel like the luckiest man in the world.

Hope you all enjoyed that hahaha I am sorry once again to Gwyn but hopefully the story makes up for it... pretty please...sugar on top?

#merthur #oblivious arthur #confident merlin #general audiences #modern au - college/university #morgana being morgana #merlin being best boi #arthur being a himbo #basically the story hahah

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foryouthegays · 3 years

Text

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in)

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive.

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home.

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at 01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur] a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it.

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it)

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc.

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary 02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk?????

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend.

#stream post

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yelenasdog · 3 years

Text

FUCK IT- DEAN THINKING OF EMMA YEARS AFTER SAM KILLS HER BC CANON SUCKS

btw for those of yall who dont remember ms. emma, she was dean’s amazonian daughter LOL

warnings: this is 1.3k words, has many plot inconsistencies ,and is basically an au where the slice girls happened before the whole amy situation. dean is kinda sick and creepy at one point but like bc he wants revenge ig? idk. also ik i have some mutuals who are also just starting spn, so s7 spoilers! LOL enjoy this mess

He had shaken his head, laughed, and looked up to the indigo sheet that rested above him, seeing how the stars seemed... dull. It was odd, as most nights, it was one of the few things that Dean Winchester would truly rely on always remaining the same.

For all his years as a hunter, through shitty motels, through demons and monsters and angels and apocalypses. The stars always were there when the sun would fall and the moon would arise, twinkling at him as if to say “we’re still here”. In fact, even before he was a hunter, though that time slot is miniscule as the salt grains he so heavily appreciated (and sometimes grew to loath), he would sit outside on the damp grass with his mother.

He would sit, and he would look up and smile at the dark sky, smiling at what Mary had told him about the stars.

“They’re angels.” She had said, leaning down to talk softly in her baby’s ear, playing with his soft brown locks. “All the people who died and went to Heaven.” She had lied, lied right through her teeth. Not that she knew it, of course. She knew the same was true about demons, so why wouldn’t it ring true with the supposed angels she believed in so fiercely?

But Dean still held that memory with him, even when she was gone, despite knowing it wasn’t truthful.

It was after a Djinn hunt, Dean was fifteen, sixteen in four days, matter of fact. His responsibilities had begun to evolve from watching over Sammy while his father was away (which he now knew he would never really stop doing), to assisting on hunts, learning from the elder Winchester for when he inevitably would have to take over the “family business”.

“Right, so a Djinn will poison their victim, putting them in a comatose state- Hey, are you listening to me at all? Did you hear a word I just said?” John had shouted, his son not even flinching as he would when he would be in the same position just a few years prior.

“When in the comatose state, the Djinn puts them in their dream life while they feed on the person, which is where the genie lore came from.” He recited, never looking down from where his head was angled upwards, enthralled by the stars. All the talk of dreams, wishes, he couldn’t help but think what life would be like if he was living his. Maybe get to be on the football team, have his own home, his own room, even.

Having his mom. Not having extensive knowledge on the fact that there really was a reason to be afraid of the dark.

As he got older, his idea of a “dream life” had changed. In a flurry, it seemed like it had somehow changed from having a normal high school experience and his mom being alive (even though that part never changed, just faded towards the back of his mind), to pushing that away and gravitating towards drinking, drugs, and girls. All only to come back to wanting a domestic life, one that he had with Lisa and Ben. He wanted that, badly, and when it was ripped away, he felt like a piece of his heart had been ripped out, too.

So he didn’t talk about it. He left, it hurt, and he didn’t talk about it, because that’s just what Dean Winchester did. He got snappy, moody, and slipped back into the habits and youthful rush of his years prior, much to Sam’s disappointment. Back to the girls, back to the drinking, all of it.

Nothing had stood out to him about the night he’d had with Emma’s mom. She was normal, the drinks were normal, all of it. It was routine, almost.

What was not routine, was having to return the next day, and finding a baby when there was not one there before. Even more out of the norm, was when the baby began to speak as if it were 8 years old. And so as him and Sam began to put together the pieces like some sort of fucked up jigsaw puzzle, it began to dawn on him; He could try again.

Sure, his daughter was a crazy Amazonion, and sure, it wouldn’t be ideal with being on the road and all, but family was family, right? But he knew it wouldn’t be easy, he was prepared to fight the internal battle he knew he would be cursed with. But she was innocent, she hadn’t killed anyone yet.

He pondered it, as he stood, walking over to the fridge. He knew this was an act, he knew that there was barley any hesitance in her heart as she stood, preparing to slain her father. Dean knew this, yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill her, take the easy shot. She was human, and she was his daughter.

Sam, on the other hand, showed no such mercy.

And Dean was grateful to his brother for saving his life, for killing the monster that he didn’t have the guts to gank. They’d killed blood before, no problem. Samuel was a problem, a threat, so he had to go. And Dean supposed that Emma shouldn’t have been different. Blood doesn’t always equal family, he supposed.

That night, he stepped outside of another shitty motel, telling Sam he had gone out for a smoke. And as he looked up at the sky, he tossed back his head and he laughed at the stars, as it no longer seemed like they were comforting him, but rather mocking him. Because Emma wasn’t up there. She wasn’t a sparkling ball of light, shining down on him.

Rather, she was probably scared, cold, and alone down in purgatory, fighting to stay alive. And the worst part was that he put her there. A day on Earth, barely getting a handle on things, and she’s thrown into purgatory by her father, of all people. And he knew that hopefully she would find some other Amazons that had managed to stay alive down there, and that with her strength and all, she would have a chance to survive.

But truthfully? He doubted she would. She was a tough kid, sure. But with the vamps and wendigos and whatever the Hell else was down there, he was having a hard time having faith.

It was only mere weeks later when Sam had let Amy off the hook.

And a part of him was bitter, angry, saddened. So why did Amy get to live? Why did Dean have to watch his blood, his daughter, get slaughtered by Sam, just because she was a monster? Why in God’s name did she have to die, but Sam’s little friend from however many years ago, got to live “just ‘cause”? It wasn’t right, none of it was.

And so he thought it would feel satisfying to drive the knife into her, to see the life leave her eyes.

But it didn’t, and Dean was confused as to why, as simple as it may have seemed. When he turned to see her son standing in the doorway, tears beginning to roll down his face, he understood.

And when he had made it to purgatory all that time later, through the threats and scares pumping through his mind, he was consumed by thoughts of Emma. He wanted to ask Benny if he’d seen an Amazonian, who could be any age really, with orange hair and warm brown (or fiery red, depending on her mood) eyes. He wanted to grab and interrogate every creature in that damned place, demand them for answers. Though, he was afraid he wouldn’t like said answers.

He would find himself thinking of Emma right up until the moment he died, thinking for a moment that he would finally get to see her again, sort things out. After all, part of her was still human, or moreso, part of her was not a monster.

Even then, Benny was a monster, but he loved him like a brother, he’d do anything and everything for him. Sam, his own brother, was even a monster at one point, and Dean still loved him more than life itself. And when he would think back on this every so often, all he could think of, was why couldn’t he have loved her?

#also this isnt mary slander i love mary #fuck john #he's not rlly mentioned here but fuck john anyway #basically i just think that emma's storyline could have had so much potential and could have been used to develop dean's whole familial arc #like a lot further #bc i rewatched the slice girls to write this #and i just think that they began kind of handling it really well but then moved on from it way too quickly #supernatural #dean winchester #the slice girls #season 7 #s7 spn #spn s7 #sam winchester #mary winchester #john winchester #jensen ackles #k bye #emma winchester

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berkmansimagines · 3 years

Text

Taken (Part 6/7)

A/N: Thanks for reading! I’ll try to get the final part out sometime next week.

Summary: Fuches kidnaps Barry’s daughter.

← Part 5 | Part 7 →

You’re on your stomach, laying on a cold concrete floor. A pillowcase covers your head and you can’t see anything. You’ve tried moving but it’s almost impossible. Your knees are uncomfortably bent allowing your ankles and wrists to be tied behind your back with the same piece of tough rope. Duct tape covers your mouth, silencing you from crying out or screaming for help.

You’re afraid and completely vulnerable.

CREAK

You whimper at the sounds of the door opening, having no idea who just walked in. As footsteps slowly approach, your body shakes in fear. You feel the anxious knots form in your stomach once again.

You pray it’s Barry but suspect it’s your kidnaper, Fuches.

The footsteps stop when they reach you. Whoever walked in is now hovering over you. They turn your body to the side so you’re no longer on your stomach. Then the pillowcase is removed so suddenly from your head that it causes you to flinch.

The first thing you see is a strange man wearing a ski mask. The only parts of his face visible under the mask are his mouth and his cold, dark eyes. It’s definitely not Fuches or Barry. You don’t know who this man is or what he’s capable of...

“So you’re what all the fuss is about,” he tilts his head to the side.

His tone creeps you out and sends a shiver down your spine. You take in your surroundings - a dreary concrete room with no windows. You think you’re in some sort of basement.

“Listen very carefully. Fuches asked me to watch you while he’s out with your dad. Just be a good girl and don’t give me any shit so I don’t have to hurt you. If your dad does everything Fuches says, this will all be over soon,” the man explains.

You anxiously nod, signaling that you understand. Fuches must’ve taken Barry out on those hits that you overheard them talking about on the drive to Cleveland. You really hope Barry is okay. He was in bad shape when Fuches dragged you out in the middle of the night.

“But if your dad fucks up,” he continues, “Then I have to deliver you to some people in the Chechen mob. You must be pretty valuable because they paid a lot of money for you.”

You gasp but any sound is stifled by the tape. You can’t go to the Chechens, they’ll kill you and get rid of the body. There will be nothing left of you. You break down in tears at the thought.

“Stop whining, bitch!” he sounds annoyed.

You’re too panic-stricken to control your emotions. Instead of calming down, your cries intensify and turn into sobs.

“I SAID STOP!”

Your captor punches you twice in quick succession, giving you a bloody nose and a nasty bruise under your left eye. Your ears are ringing. Then it goes dark.

SMACK

You’re woken up by a hard slap across the face. You cry out in pain and feel tears stream down your face. Your cheek is stinging. You timidly cower under the mysterious masked man standing over you. You don’t want to get hit again.

“Your dad asked to see you. Let’s show him how much fun we’re having,” he snickers.

He holds his phone up in front of you. You hear him call somebody on Facetime. Then he leans down and roughly grabs your chin, forcing you to look into the camera.

“Y/N!”

Your eyes widen. You can’t see his face but you can recognize that voice anywhere.

“Dad!” your cries are muffled by the gag.

“Thanks Nick! That’s enough…” you hear Fuches on the other side of the phone. You hold your breath, finally learning your anonymous captor’s name.

Nick smirks before abruptly ending the Facetime. He creepily stares at you as he slips his phone back into his pocket.

“Your dad finished one of the hits. He still has one to go. Fuches thinks it will take awhile,” Nick tells you, then wonders aloud, “How will we pass the time?”

You shuffle nervously in your binds.

He kneels down and leans in uncomfortably close to you. As your anxiety kicks up, your breathing becomes heavier and heavier. Nick licks his lips. He’s getting off on your fear.

“Are you a virgin?” he whispers into your ear.

You scream as loud as you can through the gag. You’re terrified and start uncontrollably sobbing again.

You struggle on the ground, turning yourself over in an attempt to get away from Nick. He lies down beside you and snakes his arm around your waist.

“Oh where do you think you’re going, huh?” Nick taunts you.

You whimper as Nick forcefully pulls you close to him. He begins to stroke your face. You’re petrified, shaking like a leaf.

“Hey, hey, come here. Calm down! I know you’re scared but I can think of some recreational activities we can do that will help you relax.”

You cry and fearfully shake your head, squirming to get out of his grasp.

All of a sudden you feel a vibration in Nick’s pocket. His phone is buzzing. He shrugs and takes his phone out. Instead of reading the new text message, he puts the phone off to the side. You turn your head to look at the phone when-

ZAP

You feel a sharp sting travel through your entire body. Nick tased you, just ike Fuches. You wince in pain. Your attacker smiles down at you with a sinister look in his eyes.

“Remind me to thank Fuches for letting me borrow this,” he says smugly, holding up the taser.

Nick then pulls out a pocket knife and cuts a piece of the rope connecting your bound hands and ankles together. Your muscles are paralyzed and you can’t fight back.

Nick grabs your tied up ankles and straightens your legs out. Then your captor gets on top of you, trapping you between his thighs. You squeeze your eyes shut.

“LOOK AT ME!” he yells.

You keep your eyes closed, too afraid to open them. Nick backhands you across the face, giving you a fat lip.

“I SAID LOOK AT ME!”

You weakly open your eyes and look up at him.

“If you close your eyes again, I will slit your eyelids in half so you don’t blink when I fuck you-”

Nick sadistically glides his pocket knife down your chest and stomach. You continue sobbing, wordlessly pleading with him to stop. He starts to unbutton your jeans.

“I’m going to have fun taking you apart...”

Suddenly you hear loud stomping outside the door. It sounds like footsteps racing down the stairs. The door is forced open. It’s Barry! He looks angry, his eyes are full of rage.

You scream for your father to help. Nick gets off of you and tries reaching for his gun.

BANG, BANG

Barry immediately shoots your attacker in the chest and head. He’s dead before he hits the ground.

“Y/N!”

Barry rushes over to you. He rips off the tape covering your mouth as gently as possible. Then he cups your face in his hands, looking over your injuries.

“I’ve got you! I’ve got you! It’s okay…. you’re okay,” Barry says softly.

He quickly takes out his pocket knife and cuts the rope binding your wrists and ankles. Your father wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a big hug.

“I’ve got you,” Barry repeats.

You cry and collapse in his arms.

Taken series taglist: @midnightseance, @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression, @fangirl-imagines

#barry berkman #barry hbo #barry berkman imagine #barry berkman x reader #barry hbo imagine #barry berkman x teen!daughter #barry berkman daughter imagine #barry berkman daughter #bbtd

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elias-veturius-laia-of-serra · 3 years

Photo

*Contains Sky SPOILERS*

All my favorite Musa Of Adisa quotes and scenes 🥺 ❤️

“I am Musa of Adisa,” the man says. “Son of Ziad and Azmath of Adisa. Grandson of Mehr and Saira of Adisa. I am also the only friend you have in this city” - A Reaper At The Gates

“Who’s the Beekeeper, and how can I find him?”

“Ah, Laia Of Serra.” His white teeth shine like those of a smug horse. He offers me his arm, and under the brightening sky, I finally get a closer look at his tattoos - dozens of them, big and small, all clustered around a hive.

Bees.

“It’s me, of course,” Musa says. “Don’t tell me you hadn’t guessed.” - A Reaper At The Gates

“You listen. How fast can you get information on the jinn?”

Musa strokes his chin. “Let’s see. It took me a week to learn that you’d broken Elias out of Blackcliff’s dungeons. Six days to learn that you’d set off a riot in Nur. Five to learn what Elias Veturius whispered to in your ear the night he abandoned you in the Tribal desert for Kauf Prison. Two to learn that the Warden-” - A Reaper At The Gates

“Musa and I go back again and again, carrying out those who cannot walk themselves, pulling to safety as many Scholars as we can.” - A Reaper At The Gates

“As I told the story, my attention was on the king. I did not notice the ghuls emerging from the shadows and congregating around the princess. I did not notice them latching themselves on to her like leeches. Musa looks as if he is watching the slow torture of someone he loves—which, I finally realize, he is.” - A Reaper At The Gates

“Nikla and I eloped ten years ago,” he says. “We were only a little older than you, but much more foolish. She had an older brother who was supposed to be king. But he died, she was named crown princess, and we grew apart.” I wince at the perfunctory nature of his recitation, a decade of history in four sentences. “I didn’t mention it before because there was no point. We’ve been separated for years. She took my lands, my titles, my fortune—”

“Your heart.” Musa’s harsh laugh echoes off the hard stone of the buildings on either side of us. “That too,” he says.” - A Reaper At The Gates

“Another arrow shoots out of the darkness, but it too misses its mark, dropping in midair—courtesy of Musa’s wights.

“Nikla!” Musa snarls. “Show yourself!” - A Reaper At The Gates

“When I rush her,” Musa whispers, barely audible, “run.” I’m just processing what he says when he’s past me and heading straight for Nikla. Immediately, silver-armored bodyguards step out of the shadows and attack Musa so swiftly that he is now nothing but a blur.” - A Reaper At The Gates

“Musa’s voice rings in my head. We need you as a voice for the Scholars. We need you as our scim and shield.” - A Reaper At The Gates

“You pull that hood any lower,” Musa of Adisa whispers from beside me, “and people will think you’re a jinn.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Stop waving around your blade, aapan.” Musa uses the Mariner honorific that means “little sister” and speaks with the same exasperation I sometimes hear from Darin. The Beekeeper, as Musa is known, is twenty-eight—older than Darin and I. Perhaps that is why he delights in bossing us around.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Musa eases my hand off the hilt. “You break Elias Veturius out of Blackcliff, burn down Kauf Prison, deliver the Martial Emperor in the middle of a war, face down the Nightbringer more times than I can count,” he says, “and you jump at a loud noise? I thought you were fearless, aapan.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“This . . . thing. This Rehmat. It was living inside you?”

“Like a parasite?” Musa says. “Or a demon?”

“Don’t be so horrified,” I say. “Whatever it is, it’s inside you too. All of you. Or so the Jaduna said.”

Musa looks down, clearly wondering if some fey beastie will burst unexpectedly from his chest.

“So if one of us had lost our temper and yowled at the Nightbringer—”

“I did not yowl—” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Laia! Watch it!” a Scholar man with dark skin and long, black hair calls out. He holds off three legionnaires with a scim, a short dagger, and—I squint—a cloud of hundreds of wights who befuddle his foes. They defend him with a vicious protectiveness that wights aren’t known for.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Tend to your wounds,” I say. “Then leave. Go back to the beach. To your boats. To a quick death, it matters not. But you will not enter the Waiting Place.”

“He’s your brother.” Musa speaks up, nodding to Harper. The Mask gapes at Musa, who doesn’t seem to notice.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“The Soul Catcher gives her a brief, unreadable look. “Yes. One human might slip through the forest undetected by them. But a half dozen? They will know you are here soon enough.”

“Can’t you just—” Musa puts his hands around his throat and mimes choking—referring no doubt to how the Soul Catcher can steal away breath.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“You’re late.” His armor is splashed with blood, but he doesn’t appear to have any wounds. Musa materializes behind him, limping. “Good in a fight.” Quin nods to the Scholar approvingly.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Not hard to look at, is he?” I jump at the voice next to me, my scim half-drawn. It is Musa, one hand gently nudging my blade back to its scabbard. He has a dozen bruises and as many cuts, most half-healed.

“So jumpy, Shrike. One would think you’d only just escaped a band of Karkauns by the skin of your teeth.” He chuckles darkly at his little joke, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Forgive me,” he says. “Laughing hurts less than facing what happened. I am sorry about Faris. I liked him.”

“Thank you,” I say. “And your joke was terrible, so naturally, Faris would have loved it.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“He pats his face, preening. “Everyone says I’m even more dashing with scars.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Now, Shrike.” Musa follows me reluctantly. “While I do like my women tall and bossy, and while I know this face is difficult to resist, sadly, my heart belongs to another—” “Oh, shut up.” I stop when we’re far from the courtyard. “You’re not that pretty.” He bats his eyelashes at me, and I wish he were just a bit uglier” - Sky Beyond The Storm

“In fact, I’ll offer you a little tidbit right now. Captain Avitas Harper is on his way here. He’s in the northwest corridor, passing that very ugly statue of a yak, and moving rather quickly.”

“How—” I know how he does it. Still, the specificity is uncanny.

“Ten seconds,” Musa murmurs. “Eight—six—” I stride swiftly away, wincing at the pain lancing up my leg. But I’m not fast enough.

“Blood Shrike,” Harper calls in a voice that I cannot ignore. I curse Musa as he walks off, laughing quietly.” - Sky Beyond The Storm

“Within the crowd of Karkauns, a squad of my men fight their way toward me, Musa among them. I try to join them, but the Karkauns surround us. Musa disappears, his scims flying, and I remind myself to ask him who the hells trained him before I am inundated by the enemy again.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Just the blather the Karkauns were spewing. Ik tachk mort fid iniqant fi. Haven’t been able to get a translation of it, but—”

“‘Death wakes the great sea,’” Musa translates, nodding a greeting to a group of Scholars as they pass. “Or—no, wait. ‘Death feeds the great sea.’”

I stop in the middle of the hall, ignoring the irritated grunt of a Mask who nearly runs into me. “Why didn’t you tell me you spoke Karkaun?”

“You didn’t ask.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“My grandfather taught me to fight. He was a palace guard. Saved old King Irmand’s life when he was a boy. Got a beekeeping estate for his trouble. My father became a healer, but I spent more time with the bees. I think they both thought training would toughen me up.”

“Did it?”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Go on, insult me,” Musa says. “But you and I are more alike than you know, and that’s not a compliment. You’re in a position of great power, Shrike. It’s a lonely place to be. Most leaders spend their lives using others. Being used. Love isn’t just a luxury for you. It’s a rarity. It’s a gift. Don’t throw it away.”

“I’m not throwing it away.” I stop walking and pull the Scholar around to face me. “I’m afraid, Musa.” I don’t mean to blurt the words out—especially to a man whose arrogance has vexed me from the moment I met him. But to my relief, he does not mock me.

“How many in Antium lost those beloved to them when the Karkauns attacked?” he asks. “How many like Dex, who hide who they love because the Empire would kill them for it?” Musa runs a hand through his black hair, and it sticks up like a bird’s nest. “How many like Laia, betrayed and then left to claw her way through her pain? How many like me, Shrike, pining for someone who no longer exists?” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“But that’s not what we’re talking about,” Musa says. “You are lucky enough to love someone who loves you back. He is alive and breathing and in the same vicinity as you. By the skies, do something about it. For however long you have. For whatever time you get. Because if you don’t, I swear that you’ll regret it. You’ll regret it for all your years.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Do you know where Musa of Adisa was in the fight to take Antium, Pontilius?” I say now. “At my side, bleeding for an Empire he’d never set foot in until a few months ago. Fighting for the Scholars. Tell me, General, where were you during the fighting?” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“As I walk through the freezing palace, I search for a flash of color amid the drear. Musa can always be counted on to wear at least one loud item of clothing—and I need his information now.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Someone who will know how to deal with Musa’s pain. But the Scholar does not release my hand.

“I shouldn’t mourn her.” He wipes his face, and I almost don’t hear him.

“She jailed my father. Took my lands. My title. The Scholars suffered under her rule.” - Sky Beyond The Storm

“We got married a decade ago. I was eighteen. She was nineteen. Her brother was crown prince, but he died of an illness and the palace healer—my father—couldn’t save him. She—” He shakes his head. “Grief took her. The ghuls found ripe prey with her, and they nibbled at her mind for years. And when I spoke of them to her, she called me insane. King Irmand was so grief-stricken after his son’s death that he did not see what was happening to his daughter.”

“My father died in prison. My mother soon after. And yet—” He looks between Harper and me. “I still loved her. I shouldn’t have, but I did.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“I have to go to Marinn,” Musa says. “Find Keris. Kill her. Nikla’s heir is a first cousin. Skies know if he’s still alive, but he’s young. He’ll need help.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“You want me to stay,” he says. “But the Mariners were my people first. They need me. And you owe me a favor, Shrike.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“All the way to Avitas’s quarters, where we can speak without interruption, I think of Musa’s cries. The way he sounded as if his soul had been dug out of his body.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Ah, young love,” Musa says, and I glance at him, wondering if I will see bitterness in his regard. But his smile takes years off his face, which has been drawn and desolate of late.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Love can be more powerful in a battle than planning or strategy. Love keeps us fighting. Love drives us to survive.”

“Skies, stop meddling—”

“I meddle because I hope, aapan.” The humor bleeds from his voice, and I’m certain he’s remembering his beloved, doomed Nikla. “Life is too short not to hope.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Soldiers on both sides of the escarpment stumble to their feet, still shaken from the maelstrom. Musa has an arm under the Blood Shrike’s shoulders, and together they stagger away from the front line, anguish emanating from both.” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“The Blood Shrike, Musa, and I are discussing how the troops should handle any rogue ghosts. When Laia appears, Musa kicks the Shrike in the ankle.

“What the hells, Musa—oh—” - A Sky Beyond The Storm

“Duty gives me a straight back when Musa, his own eyes red at the loss of Darin, finds me and takes me to a line of bodies to be buried in the jinn grove.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“Musa is here too, gesturing with the flatbread while flirting with Afya Ara-Nur. The Tribeswoman is still pale from her injury, wincing even as she laughs. Mamie looks amused while Spiro Teluman watches with a dark glare. The smith shouldn’t worry. Musa’s heart is as shattered as mine” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“Gird your loins, Shrike.” Musa gives me a sidelong glance. “You’re about to get quite the promotion.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“I heard her tell Zacharias a story last night. He was rapt.”

“Where is he?”

“With Tas, eating moon cakes.” I nod to a cart near Mamie’s wagon, where the young Scholar boy, who appears to have grown a foot since I last saw him, grins as my nephew stuffs a cake into his mouth. Musa, keeping them company, hands over another.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“Musa has been invaluable in court, charming Illustrian Paters as easily as he has Scholars. When we broke up the estates of Keris’s top allies, it was Musa who suggested we award them to Scholars and Plebeians who fought in the Battle of Antium. And when grief threatens to consume me, it is Musa who appears with a meal and insists we eat it out in the sunshine. Musa who drags me to the palace kitchens to bake bread with him, and Musa who suggests a visit to Zacharias, even if it means canceling two weeks of court. I thought at first that the Scholar had wights watching me to make sure I did not fall too deeply into despair. But the wights, he told me, are no longer his spies.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“How am I supposed to take the Pater of Gens Visselia seriously when I know he spends most of his time composing odes to his hounds?” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“Yes,” I say to his uncertainty. “I want you to stay, Musa.” He lets out a breath.

“Thank the skies,” he says. “I don’t actually like bees very much. Little bastards always sting me. And anyway, you need me around.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“I’m not lonely!” A lie, though Musa is too much a gentleman to call me on it.

“But you are alone, Empress.” A shadow passes across his face, and I know he thinks of his wife, Nikla, dead six months now. “As all those in power are alone. You don’t have to be.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“It should have been him dancing with you,” Musa says, and at the raw emotion in his voice, my eyes heat.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“Alas.” The Scholar spins me in a circle, then pulls me back. “We’re the ones who survived, Empress. Unlucky, perhaps, but that’s our lot. And since we’re here, we might as well live.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

“Though I was reluctant moments ago, now I find that I want to give in to that exuberant beat. So does Musa. So we laugh and dance again. We eat a dozen moon cakes and chase away the loneliness, two broken people who, for this night, anyway, make a whole.” - A Sky Beyond the Storm

#an ember in the ashes #a torch against the night #a reaper at the gates #a sky beyond the storm #a sky beyond the storm spoilers #musa of Adisa #cause he deserved better #I love him #best boy #my absolute fave (other than Elias and Laia ofc)#Elias Veturius #laia of serra #Helene Aquilla #Avitas Harper #emberling #ember quartet #Sabaa tahir

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ikenbar · 3 years

Text

Mr Love: Ike’s Choice CH 5 PT 1

Author’s Note:

Chapter five baby!! This is gonna be a fun one!! It is chock-full of fluff, angst, adventure, and thickening plot!! Only the best for Ikamara’s story B) I plan on taking lines straight from the game in this story. Normally I would make annotations but, after rereading the parts I have done that with, I have noticed that they can distract from the story. And because I have a lot of lines from the game in the coming chapters, I am just going to put the reference to the stages in the warning. If you have a problem with this, send me a message! Though I do write Ikamara’s story for myself, I also want to make the experience as pleasurable for any one reading as possible.

Thank you so much for the love and support for my story! Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here and would like to be familiar with the story!! :D

Enjoy Chapter Five!! :D

- Ike ‘n Bar Productions

Warnings: Words taken directly from Stage 8-1 from the game Mr. Love: A Queen’s Choice, there is also FLUFF!!!, sad children, ~✨🌈Gayness🌈✨~, and plot development that makes you beg for more but are sadly left on yet aNOTHER cliffhanger :D

Prologue:

The man in the white lab coat walked behind Marie as they made their way back down that familiarly dank hallway. They were quiet but that didn’t mean Marie would have it any other way. From all the medical talk and strange languages they spoke, silence seemed like the only thing she could understand anymore.

They came to a stop in front of a door. He opened it and gestured for Marie to go in. She timidly did so, allowing him to close it shut behind her and lock it. It was a simple room with two beds. Not much there but it was enough.

In one of the beds sat Marie’s roommate, and best friend. Normally the girl would be smiling and greet Marie with open arms, but today, she was just sitting on the bed, crying. Immediately, Marie ran to her side.

“What’s wrong?” Marie’s squeaky voice made the girl jump. She hurriedly wiped her eyes.

“Nothing.” The girl mumbled.

“Oh come on.” Marie jumped onto the bed and next to the girl, “You can’t say that right after wiping away tears.”

“...it’s just that.” The girl slowly began, “...I’m tired of the testing. I’d just wish they’d stop pricking us with those needles. You’re so lucky. Your skin is so thick, you don’t need needles.”

“Nah, I still get the needles.” Marie kicked her feet over the bed and kept her eyes on the ground, “I just have a special kind that's bigger.” The girl sighed and leaned on her shoulder.

“I just feel so…” The girl started, gesturing her hands uselessly, “... not safe.” Marie tensed slightly.

“You shouldn’t.” She said, making the girl look up at her, “You’ve got me! I will always protect you.” The girl smiled weakly.

“You promise?” She asked. Marie nodded seriously as she drew an ‘x’ on over her heart.

“Cross my heart.” She smiled. The girl sat up and threw her arms around Marie. Marie reciprocated the hug, making the girl laugh. The girls held their hug, indulging in the security of it.

“When we get out,” The girl said softly, “and we are no longer in danger, will you still protect me?" Marie held the little girl closer to her.

“Youri,” Marie said the girl’s name seriously, “There won’t be a moment where I will leave your side.”

Chapter five:

Part one:

I waited anxiously in my seat, tapping the mug of coffee in my hand. Youran and I had spent the past week talking and getting to know each other. In fact, there wasn't a day that had passed that we didn't talk. It surprised me how easy it was to talk with her. It was like we had clicked, becoming friends almost instantly. Almost as if we had already been friends before.

I had even told Youran about my family. Though I addressed them as my biological family instead of my foster family. I didn’t want her asking questions about my life as a foster child. Not because I didn’t want to answer them but because I knew that, if she asked, I would tell her everything.

It was strange to me. Never in my life had I been so open to anyone like that. It was almost suspicious. But every time I spoke to Youran, the suspicions left my mind. I would get this immense calm all over my body. It was something I had never experienced before. Something only she could give me.

But the suspicions and doubts were back. I met this woman while I'm being targeted and I just trusted her?! Just like that?! Plus, wasn't it weird that I feel so strange around her? Not to mention I had dreams about her right before meeting her! Could she have been someone from my past? Someone that wants me dead? One thing was for sure, waiting for her was a dumb idea. Especially if it meant potentially getting hurt. I still hadn't healed fully from Montu's attack last week. Waiting there like a sitting duck was a terrible way to get killed.

As I moved to stand from my seat, a chime came from the front door, making me look up. Youran pushed through the door, clearly in distress. Her hair was tied in a loose ponytail that fell just above a vibrant sundress that brought out her light brown eyes. She seemed to have put on some light makeup as well, my eyes being drawn to her flushed cheeks and glossy lips.

Panting slightly, Youran scanned the café until her eyes landed on mine. She smiled brightly. And, just like that, my suspicions vanished once again as that calm hit me like a truck. She came running over to me. "Ike!" Youran threw her arms around me, nearly toppling me over, "I hope you weren’t waiting long! I am so sorry I'm late. I slept through my alarm."

“It’s no problem.” I patted her head gently, “It happens. Besides, I... just got here. So you’re fine.”

“Great!” Youran jumped back and clapped her hands together, “Give me one second to order a drink then we can start hanging out!” I smiled and nodded. Hanging out? What are we, teenagers… she sure made me feel that way.

Youran smile brightened in return. She turned on her heel and hurried to the front counter. I watched her as she left. She looked cute with her hair up like-

I shook my head and dropped that stupid absent minded smile. What am I doing? Wasn’t I about to leave?! I cursed under my breath and held a hand up to my mouth. She did it to me again! How does she just change me like that? There has got to be a malice reason behind it…

After a moment’s hesitation, I stole another glance at Youran. She was looking at the menu intently, tapping her chin with her finger thoughtfully.

… Well... since I'm already here…

I took my seat again, sighing as I picked up my now cold, and nearly empty, cup of coffee. After waiting a minute longer, Youran came running back to the table. “Ok!” She said, taking a seat in front of me, “How are you?”

She seems so happy to see me...

“I’m good.” I smiled, “How are you?”

“I’m great!” She giggled, “Having coffee together was such a great idea! I feel like we only know each other through a phone screen.” I hummed in agreement as a barista walked over to us.

“Refill, mam?” She asked me politely. I looked at Youran.

“... Yeah.” I sighed, lifting my cup to her, “Fill ‘er up.” The barista complied. Once she had left, I sparked a conversation, "How’s the company, Youran?”

“Excellent thanks to your help.” Youran sighed, “Victor had little to nothing to correct from the report, all thanks to your edits. Of course, he guessed almost immediately that you had been the reason behind it.”

“Yeah, Victor’s smart like that.” I sighed, spinning my newly filled cup of coffee absentmindedly.

“What about you?” Youran leaned on the table and looked at me expectantly, “How’s Ike ‘n Bar Productions?”

“Not bad. We actually start filming a new tv show today. Bart’s already heading over now to scope it out.”

“Ooo! Nice! Who’s the cast?” Youran egged.

“Nope.” I deadpanned, “Not revealing anything until it airs.” I looked up from my cup and caught Youran glaring at me. She had her cheeks puffed out and her bottom lip over lapping the top one. I smirked. She was so cute when she was angry. “Alright, alright. You can come to the viewing party.”

“Really??” Youran beamed, making the pout I saw a distant memory.

“Yeah.” I sighed, “Why not?” Youran cheered and clapped her hands, sending a warm feeling in my chest.

“Oh! But watch out! You may not be able to get through the production so easily!” Youran’s voice sounded like she was telling a ghost story. She added her fingers waving in the air for extra spooky flavor. I arched my eyebrow.

“What makes you say that?” I asked, amused by her childish behavior. Youran leaned forward slightly and spoke in a harsh whisper, “Did you hear about that hacker that has been attacking the web?” My brows furrowed slightly. A widespread internet paralysis broke out in Loveland that week. It affected all websites in the city. On every homepage there was a signature by a hacker named ‘Key.’ “Apparently, there was word of the hacker affecting cell phones as well.” Youran continued, “Hacking into your phone and stealing emails and personal information.” I rolled my eyes.

“Hogwash.” I sighed, “It’s just people speculating and stirring up a commotion. Don’t think about it too much.” Youran nodded and took a sip from her drink. Though she agreed with me, I could still see worry knitted in her eyebrows. I instinctively reached out and brushed them. Youran looked at me surprised. I felt my face flush as I quickly retracted my hand.

“Sorry.” I stammered, covering my face with my hand, “You just… You have nothing to worry about. So you shouldn’t hold your face like that.”

“I don’t?” Youran asked, innocently.

“Of course not.” I said simply, avoiding eye contact and looking back into my cup, “Like I said, this is all speculation. This ‘Key’ is probably trying to make a name for himself. Pushing however hard he can to get people to notice him. You’ll be ok.”

“...And ...If I’m not?” Youran asked sheepishly.

“I’ll protect you.”

I froze. Those words fell from my mouth without me realizing it. They came so easily to me. As if I had said it a million times to her before...

Youran placed a hand on top of mine. I looked up at her. She was smiling sweetly at me.

“Thank you.” She said, softly. Her eyes sparkled, showing me she meant her thanks. I looked down. Her hands are so cold… I twisted my hand to hold Youran’s. “... Did you get your nails done?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah!” Youran shone brightly as she leaned forward, “I had them draw little pandas on them! Aren’t they cute??”

“Adorable.” I ran my thumb over her nails gently, a soft smile settling on my face, “Adri has been wanting to get her nails done. You’ll have to tell me the name of the place you went to.”

“Oh! How is Adri doing?” Youran asked, pulling her hand away to clap her hands together, “Wasn’t today her first day at her new highschool?” I opened my mouth but was cut off by a buzzing that came from my blazer pocket. I pulled out my phone and looked at the collar ID. Ho boy. “ Speak of the devil.” I looked up to Youran, “Do you mind?” She shook her head and smiled politely. I thanked her and stood up.. after making sure I was out of earshot, I answered the call.

“Speaking.” I said resoundly.

“Hello?” The principal of Loveland Lake High, Mr. Olson answered seriously. He still sounded the same as he did when I attended that school, if not a little more warily, “Is this Ike?”

“What did Sam do now?” I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

Mr. Olson chuckled, “Ah, about that. It isn’t Sam I’m calling for this time. It’s Adrienne.” I froze.

“What happened?”

“Our new student was called to my office for cursing at her teacher and starting a riot in the classroom.” I groaned, “She has been suspended starting immediately. I tried calling Maria and Bart but neither of them picked up.”

“Maria is at a doctor’s appointment for Lola and Bart is at a shoot that I have to meet him at in less than an hour.” I checked my watch. “Are you sure Adri has to start today? Can’t she just sit in the corner and think about what she has done?”

“I’m afraid not.” Mr. Olson chuckled. I sighed and held my face in my hand.

“...fine. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“Thank you, Ike. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. Adri on the other hand will be receiving a solid talking to that may make her into a saint…. I’ll see you soon. Goodbye.” I hung up the phone and growled to myself as I walked back into the cafe. “I’m afraid I’ll have to go.” I said as I approached Youran, “I have to go pick up my sister early from school.”

“Oh no.” Youran’s smile fell into a look of worry, “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah.” I grumbled, stretching my jaw to stop it from clenching, “My sister is just a jerk to the underpaid.” I sighed, “The school is fifteen minutes away. By the time I pick her up and take her home, I’ll have to go to a shoot. I’m really sorry.” Youran shook her head and smiled at me.

“It’s nothing you couldn’t help. I understand.” She said this with a sweet smile but there was no denying the disappointment behind her eyes. I clenched my hands into fists inside my pockets. It felt as if I had a string attached to my chest that prevented me from just leaving Youran there, making it nearly impossible to leave her side.

“... Do you have plans for dinner tonight?” Youran looked shocked by my sudden question.

“No!” She answered quickly.

“Good. Don’t make any. We can finish chatting then. And it’ll be on me. To make up for bailing today.”

“But I was late!” Youran quickly jumped to stop me, “I’ll pay!”

“I really didn’t care that you were late. I can-”

“But I do!” Youran puffed out her cheeks stubbornly. Though normally, the stubbornness of others angered me, she still somehow pulled a smile out of me.

“Fine. You can give me a ride there to make up for your tardiness. How does that sound?” I asked, lightly arching my brows. Youran nodded, her smile returning. “Good. I’ll text you the location of the shoot and you can pick me up from there.”

“Right!” Youran said, determinately.

“See you tonight then.” I said. I hesitated a moment, then gave her a quick pat on the head. Youran giggled, bringing a sharp blush to my cheeks. Not willing to let her see it, I quickly started walking to the door.

“See you!” She said, waving to me as I left. I waved back as I pushed through the door, making the chimes tinkle melodiously. I felt a warm smile spread across my cheeks as I walked to the car. Youran was so sweet and caring to me. It was a kind of warmth I hadn’t felt since... My smile fell slightly.

… I have never felt that kind of sweetness before...

Why did it seem so familiar?

(Next)

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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Asking the important question about Bianca x Chris In the change!future : who fall in love first ? And who say i love you first ?

Because we got Chris, who believe in soulmates and destiny but also who probably think no one will love him like that because, insecurity. And Bianca, who simple does not believe in love. A great match, full angst / unrequited love potentiel

i’m gonna like. link my entire chris/bianca anthology just because i love talking about them

chris + love a, b, & c

bianca + general phoenix lore a, b, c, & d

chris & bianca: a, b, & c

it’s under a cut 🥰💞💕

i mean like short answer is i think they both say i love you about a million different times a million different ways before either of them kinda drops those words like. like i think for chris i love you is a really common phrase for him like growing up it's just like all around his household he has about constant exposure to three health marriages everyone in his family like they all like each other for the most part. well like um. they all love each other, that's guaranteed. the like can sometimes fluctuate. so it’s not like he’s uncomfortable with the phrase it’s just like. it’s big. real big. and you know i don’t know but you grow up around wyatt and you grow up around cupids and all these really grandiose ideas of love and love is all around us it’s the air we breathe it’s the crucial tether of human existence love is epic love is iconic love can stop the rotation of the earth like that shit. like i mean he looks at his parents (and at the versions of paige/henry and phoebe/coop that live in my head) and like. love was a fight. it was this epic pull that caused them to go to the ends of the earth for each other you know hell they were ready to risk death to get married you know that must be like this epic heartstring tugging feeling in your just red string of fate yanked so hard it almost hurts and like. that’s just not what chris has. it doesn’t feel at all like that. it’s just comfort. nothing more, nothing less, really. he just feels 100% wholly comfortable and safe around bianca it’s not like. it’s like he thinks in order to be In Love in love it has to hurt a bit you know nothing comes for free and being with bianca just isn’t. it doesn’t hurt. just spending lazy slow time with her it doesn’t feel much like anything it’s just nice. it doesn’t like. move stars rip a hole in the earths crust. he doesn’t feel this burning ache. it’s just. being with her. it feels safe it feels normal it’s just like it’s normal!! this is what normal feels like not the constant nagging voices in his head own insecurities playing on a loop not you know the constant ever-present knowledge of the next demon battle there’s always gonna be another one not who is he as the son of a charmed one what will he do what will he be. like none of that’s there with bianca. it’s just normal.

and of course all the cousins draw straws on who gets the honor of whacking chris on the head with a hollow tube saying that is love dingus because like. again he’s probably aired out his thoughts to like wyatt or somebody maybe melinda if she pried maybe henry if he pried where like. because obviously they’d be interrogating on hey what the fuck’s going on over there because like. soulmatism all that everyone’s watching like you get it right you’re in love and chris gives his whole stance on like blah blah blah it’s gotta hurt i don’t feel that i just like bianca. and whoever they’re talking to. maybe kat? if just thinking about all chris and bianca have been through together all the times they like nearly died in each other’s arms like are we not counting that?? is that not enough for epic love right there? this is a really long yarn to basically say i think chris would be in love with bianca for a really long time and just genuinely never have the word for it you know just like stupid but are we not all fools in love?

i think bianca would say it first because she definitely picks apart their relationship in her head a lot more that him because like that’s just the person she is because like phoenix are not supposed to fall in love. you’re loyal to your family. you respect your family. and by extension, they are who you love. because you have no one else to love. no one else knows the true you, and no one else would be capable of knowing and loving the true you like your family. everyone else would rather see you dead. so i think she picks apart the concept of love and what it means to her a hell of a lot more than chris ever does. because i think from the start. you know it’s kind of an enemies to lovers situation.

okay so here’s my current sketch of what i’m doing with them in the light timeline because like. let’s face it. killing a charmed one is impractical. it’s an immense risk, one i think the phoenix would never take. also like. if bianca was sent to kill chris i really think she could do it respectfully chris is powerful he’s talented he’s smart i still think bianca could kill him. and then, of course, if you kill a charmed one, then you have the rest of the family after you and at this point it’s a really big family. and yes you could plant evidence throw them off the scent but again you’re dealing with like. 10 whole ass experienced trained powerful witches? how long does that last? and for what. what price could that ever possibly be worth? i get wanting to kill a halliwell on your own your own personal business risk v reward, but the phoenix are a neutral power they do not care. the only skin they have in the game would be the price on chris’s head an i literally can not think of a single thing that would be worth the wrath of the warren line, a family that presently does not give a shit about you, you know?

okay i’ve aired out that opinion. so that being said. what do? so you remember the evil cult from prince charmed and they thought wyatt was their leader and they wanna flip his morality but they failed? yeah and they didn’t all die right. like some of them escaped. the Point is: concept is they’re going for round two, but they don’t wanna make it obvious because if they flip the morality then everyone kinda knows who did it and how because it’s happened before. so hear me out they are casting or they are contracting the phoenix to cast that basically wipes any memory of them ever existing off the face of the earth. phoenix, of course, will be immune, as will their library collection on them because fuck you that’s why and then the members of the cult will be immune tho gotta say. would be hilarious if they forgot that part and then everyone just went home in their funny lil robes like huh wonder where that came from. the issue is chris. cuz he was there. but he’s not him. you know? i don’t think the cult fully knows what’s going on right but like. that’s definitely chris who definitely like single-handedly thwarted their plans. except he wasn’t even alive yet. so they need chris’s memories resurfaced so they can wipe them, otherwise they run the risk of the memories resurfacing at a Very inconvenient time. so that’s bianca’s job. the how they do not know or care about they just need him to have memories of season 6 so the can promptly wipe them. no murder necessary.

but still has weird shit magical invasion of privacy happening and probably a witch fight. blah blah blah i have ideas that i shan’t expand on right now bianca doesn’t lose but chris doesn’t win. no i will expand on actually. i think lynn bianca’s mother knows kinda what’s going on here with the cult’s scheme to create evil!wyatt and the phoenix have done their research and then know that they can survive perfectly fine in a evil wyatt regime and the cult has promised them immunity + powers in their new world order or whatever. so on paper, fine. but lynn’s way overprotective overbearing mother knows best types you know like she will do about anything for her daughter so when future bianca came she definitely used a scrying bowl kinda like what we see the stillman sisters use filled with kid bianca’s blood because that’s really the only way she has to see where bianca’s going what she’s doing and she gets to see evil wyatt kill bianca. so lynn’s actually very much not game for this actually. and i think she if not explicitly tells bianca what’s up at the very least plants seeds implying that she should not go through with this plan.

so when chris proposes instead her teaming up with him to take down the cult, in exchange offering the protection of the charmed ones (which is really the best thing he’s got to offer besides like. a punch card for a free sandwich at ike’s that only needs two more punches.) and bianca takes the bet. and they already have one fist fight under their belt between the two of them that ended in a terse treaty and not they gotta go complete a mission together. and i think that’s kind of like the jumping off point for their relationship is assorted missions together but before things can get Too Chummy chris has an innocent or something to protect and who is trying to kill them well um bianca. zoinks.

basically i think every time bianca aligns herself with chris, in doing so, she aligns herself against the orders of the phoenix. and every time she has to ask herself: is it worth it? and usually like in the case of Murder, the answer is yes. honestly, she’d rather not take an innocent’s life for some rich asshole. but in the case of the initial cult, that was a selfish move. she doesn’t want to die. is that so wrong? and there’s kind of this repeated team chris or team phoenix motif going on where the actual answer does not lie with either of them again the phoenix are on contract that’s not their motive you know they don’t personally care about what happens and then. she’s never picking chris per se it’s not like she’s choosing him she’s choosing and innocent or she’s choosing herself but that just always happens to be the side where chris is.

and also like. they work well together. they just do. so once bianca kinda like. needs to do something dangerous and her first thought is call chris then she kinda has to take a step back and go hmmm. because chris knows who she is right he knows she’s a murder cold blooded killer phoenix (chris, actually, has not seen her murder any innocents in cold blood in fact he has only seen her opt Not to do that but like. bianca has her own vision of herself) and she’s just not. friends with anyone who knows. again not that she would consider her n chris friends but he is like literally the only one who Knows her outside of the phoenix. and that’s weird. Even Further Step Back when she has to do something dangerous and at this point that’s all she does with chris but she Doesn’t want to call him because hey that’s dangerous and i don’t want him to die. which she justifies under the same Death of a Halliwell rule in that the charmed ones might go after her but even she kinda knows that’s bullshit but like. does she really wanna face the music on this one?

so basically while chris’s relationship is very in the moment he’s goin with the flow here he doesn’t know what’s going on where this is going he only has what he feels Right Now. bianca on the other hand is like how does this tie into the past what does this spell out for the future and it keeps circling back to the question is he worth it and bianca kinda hates but the answer every time is yes. she would rather spend time with him be with him fight alongside him than any other option. but to her, that’s still a long way out from love because like. it’s alliance it’s strategic they work well together they care for each other which is more than she can say about like most other people she’d bring to a fight and at a certain point yeah they hang out because they enjoy each other’s company but like. they like spending time together. is that a crime? you can enjoy spending time with a person. but then it’s like more n more time and now yeah look at it you’re in a relationship this is a relationship but like. love?? idk. i mean it’s not like...... you know like in... hmm.... so like... okay so if i Were in love....... okay. okay hm. okay. alright. okay might actually be in love.

i also think bianca would be the one to have the notion of like the finite resource of “i love yous” and even after she’s accepted that okay she can say that she doesn’t wanna waste it she does want to save it for a moment when it means something a dramatic reveal i mean they are in a lot of life or death situations surely she can just like. drop it then. but then like idk she accidently just ends up saying it at like the grocery store. chris on the other hand says i love you all the time like once the floodgates open They Are Open and it’s like. you leave the house okay bye i love you i’m going to bed goodnight i love you i made you dinner i love you like. constant.

#i mean like these really aren't set in stone in my mind #in fact if y'all have opinions on the matter i'd love 2 hear em #but like. i think bianca really breaks down everything because not paying attention gets u killed #whereas chris i really don't think does any emotional introspection because he doesn't want to know what's going on in there #charmed #chris x bianca #chris halliwell #bianca bishop #next gen #charmed next generation

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