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aventvrines · 2 days

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mine! meguru bachira x reader

repost from old acc! reblogs are appreciated<3

meguru bachira x fem!reader

cws; swearing, drinking, kissing, sleeping in one bed, tension, implied one night stand but nothing actually happens, childhood best friends to lovers, angst, awkwardness, idk what else tbh. fem reader

wc: 5940

writing below the cut

you’ve been best friends with meguru bachira for as long as you can remember. you'd become friends in kindergarten, well over a decade ago. very quickly after the fateful day when you decided to approach the little boy with large golden eyes, the two of you became practically inseparable–and you still are. after all these years, you can confidently say that you know him better than anyone else in the world.

you've been with him through thick and thin, through all the ups and downs. you know what people say about girls being friends with boys, how it'll never truly be platonic, but your relationship with bachira is totally proof that that saying is false. and even if you ever have found him attractive, it's only because he embodies everything that you've wanted and still want in a significant other. it's not like you've ever been physically attracted to him either, because you know that all the guys in your year looked way nicer after going through the awkward stages of puberty. sure, he looks much better than everyone else, but surely that's because of his numerous growth spurts and the amount of time he spends working out.

but tonight is different. the air is thick with tension, and there's a buzz of alcohol in your system as you move your body idly to the rhythm of the loud party music. there's a blush creeping onto your cheeks, bright enough to rival the red solo cup in your hand. your heart's beating faster than it has in months, years even. you're not even sure if you've ever felt this way before, with butterflies in your stomach and your breath caught in your throat.

tonight, the reason you're feeling these intense emotions is none other than your best friend, bachira. he's laughing drunkenly by your ear, one arm carelessly hooked around your shoulders as he unconsciously pulls you closer to him. the height difference is something you've come to like, you realise, finding yourself nestled in warmth as he wraps one arm around your waist, chin resting on the top of your head while he downs more alcohol. you don't dare to move, scared that one wrong movement will ruin everything. taking a small sip from your cup, you look around, feeling eyes on you. that's when you make eye contact with your host, reo mikage. he tilts his head, smirking at you, and it finally hits you: from an outsider’s perspective, the two of you look like a perfect couple. you want to be embarrassed, to move away, but instead you feel a sick sense of satisfaction, as if this is right. but it's not, and as much it feels like this is where you belong, back flush against your best friend's defined chest, you can't bring yourself to stay. but before you can move, bachira’s hands slide down to your waist as bends his head down and smears a sloppy kiss to your jaw with a giggle. “hey, pretty. missed ya.”

his voice is the opposite of the lighthearted giggle, low and raspy and perfect, but you know it'll never belong to you. he cups your jaw, turning your face to his, as if to kiss you. but even though you want it, crave it, and you've had a few drinks, you're practically sober compared to him, so you can't take advantage of him like this. heart shattering into a million pieces, you nod at him, waving goodbye before awkwardly twisting yourself out of his hold. you situate yourself farther away, where he can't reach you.

someone taps your shoulder, and you whip around in surprise.

“hey.” reo grins down at you lazily, hands stuffed deep into his pockets. “you don't look too good.”

“i’m–” you swallow. “i’m fine.”

“you don't look fine.”

“trust me, i am,” you say, voice hardening, but he leans in further, grin widening.

“mad at your boyfriend?” he asks, gesturing towards bachira, who's in a heated argument with some other people now. you shake your head quickly.

“he's not my boyfriend.”

“damn, i see. you want him to be, though.”

you smile ruefully. “yeah, well, it's complicated.”

he nods understandingly. “same here. you want a distraction?”

you glance back at bachira, and your eyes meet for a fraction of a second before you turn to reo again. slipping your hand into his outstretched one, you make a decision that you know you'll probably reget. “yeah.”

the time you spend with reo isn't something you enjoy, to say the least. he's a good kisser, for sure, and everything he says is on point, but how can you enjoy anything at all when all you can think of is your best friend, with his hands around your waist and the searing feeling of his lips on your skin.

the two of you stop pretty early on. reo’s the first one to pull away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. he's panting slightly, out of breath from kissing you as he leans back. he's gorgeous, you think, but you could never like him or want him or be attracted to him in the way you do bachira.

“you wanna talk instead?” he offers, and you nod gratefully.

bachira’s eyes flutter open as he wakes, but he closes them again almost immediately with a curse as the sight of the sunlight streaming in through the window. he groans, running one hand through his two-toned bangs, before his eyes snap open again. his head is throbbing and the light is too bright, but he's grabbing for his phone anyway.

opening the group chat between him and his friends, he sends a single message.

bachichi: wheres yn

a notification pops up immediately after, and he peers at his phone hesitantly, eyes burning.

reo m!!!: she went home w me

bachichi: WHAT

reo m!!!: calm ur tits loverboy we didn't rlly do anything lmfao

bachichi: where is she????

reo m: her place i dropped her off:))

he drops his phone back onto the bed and closes his eyes, covering the upper half of his face with his arm. shit, this isn't good. why would you choose reo, of all people? he doesn't want to get out of bed right now, but he has to. he all but falls out, wincing at the stiffness of his muscles. today’s probably the worst day of his life–everything sucks, from his hangover, to his blinding headache, and to the knowledge that you've slept with one of his friends. he doesn't blame you, because as much as he hates reo right now, he can't argue with the fact that the other isn't unattractive in the least.

he shows up at your place about an hour later, bangs messed up from running his hands through it. he watches you open the door, and although you're tired, and slightly hungover, you're still an angel to him; he's never seen someone so beautiful. yoCur hair cascades down your shoulders like waterfalls, and for a second he forgets how to think, because you're so pretty and perfect and he doubts, no, he's sure that no one else could ever compare.

“hey,” you yawn, leaning on the doorframe. there’s dark circles under your eyes, and some of your makeup from last night is still on your face. “whatcha doin’ here so early in the mornin’?”

“it's almost eleven,” he sighs, and your lips curve into a small smile. to your surprise, though, his face stays impassive until he speaks again.

“what did you and reo do last night?”

it catches you off-guard, and you stare up at him, eyes wide. you say nothing. he tilts his head to one side, crosses his arms. “hm?”

“n-nothing much,” you stammer. “we just–”

“did you–did you sleep with him?” asks bachira, softly. you shake your head defensively.

“we didn't even do anything other than kissing.”

“why would you even kiss him?” he demands. you have no answer, and but he urges you to speak. “c’mon, there must've been a reason! you haven't even spoken to him that much!”

you flush as your mind races to the events of the night before. how bachira had held you, the kiss.“i needed a distraction.”

“you could've asked me!”

you shake your head obstinately. “no.”

“why not? aren't we best friends anymore?”

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your finger and thumb. “meguru, it's not–it’s not that you're not my best friend anymore. you are. and you always will be, no matter what.”

he swallows thickly. “you promise?”

you reach out to grab his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. simultaneously, you try to suppress the thought of how that same large hand rested on your waist with such comfort and familiarity yesterday. “yeah, of course! i promise.”

“then why couldn't i distract you yesterday night?”

“you were drunk–” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“sure, i was drunk. okay, but are we really best friends if you have to hide shit from me?” narrowed golden eyes bore into yours, and you suck in a nervous breath instead of answering. he stays a second longer, as if waiting for something, but then he tugs his jacket closer to himself and walks away.

“thought so,” you hear him say.

you stumble back into your room, vision blurred by the tears that well up in your eyes, then stream down your face like tiny, salty rivulets of rainwater. you push the door, and it shuts faster than you expected with a loud slam. shit, shit, shit. why did you go with reo last night? how did bachira find out? panicked thoughts rush through your head as you lean back against the door before sliding to the ground. wrapping your arms around your knees, you sniffle quietly, trying to stifle your sobs.

your phone starts to vibrate, the screen coming alive with a contact name comprising of three letters–it's reo’s number, the very same one he'd

typed into your phone, pink, kiss-swollen lips curved up into his signature grin. a wave of anger washes over you; he's the reason your best friend–who you're apparently in love with now–hates you. you pick up the phone and clear your throat. “hello?”

“hey,” he says at the same time. you hear the smile in his voice at first, but it slowly fades as he realises you're crying. “is it because of–i mean, what's wrong?”

“megu–bachira,” you correct yourself, sniffling. “he hates me now, because of you.”

“me?” he asks, surprised.

“didn't you know?” you snap. “why’d you call me, then?”

“bachira walked in all pissed and shit, told me to not talk to you again. and then he giggled, high-fived me and walked away. ugh,” reo shudders. “he's so weird.”

you clear your throat at that, and reo’s quick to apologise, explaining that he didn't mean to offend anyone. you laugh with him, although yours is noticeably forced.

“you don't think it's suspicious?” he says at last.

“what do you mean?”

“bachira of all people got jealous when you, his best friend, who's been rumoured to have been his girlfriend multiple times, kissed another guy who you don't even like?”

“when you put it that way…”

“poor little lover boy's just jealous ‘cause the girl he likes kissed someone else,” says reo with a chuckle.

“no,” you murmur.

“what was that?”

“no.”

“what no?”

“no as in, i don't think he likes me. he's just upset that i’m keeping secrets,” you say finally.

“goddamn.” reo laughs unamusedly. “the two of you are so dense.”

“no–”

“okay, bye now!” he yells, not letting you finish. the call ends, and you sigh, turning off your phone.

you ponder for a long time before deciding that maybe bachira just needs some space, surely you can talk things out then. and you give yourself an ultimatum–the day that he talks to you again, you'll tell him about your feelings, regardless of the time or place. and so the wait starts.

half of you yearns for bachira, yearns to feel his touch and hear his voice again. it doesn't help that the two of you share most of your classes, which leads to him awkwardly avoiding you, and you in turn avoiding him to reduce the awkwardness. but the other half, the more sensible, logical part of you, kind of hopes he takes a little longer before he approaches again. you don't know what to tell him yet, not to mention the disastrous consequences that may take place.

however, what reo told you also lingers in your mind, even though you don't want it to. like a relentless little demon, the thought keeps coming back until all you can hear are his words echoing over and over again in your mind. jealous, lover boy, likes. you're so fucked. and it's only the first day that the two of you haven't spoken at all.

the second day isn't much better, with you running late without your usual ride, aka bachira’s car. you're already internally cursing before you enter the classroom, but it gets so much worse when you're actually inside. everybody stares up at you inquisitively, and the one empty chair is in a corner in the back, right beside bachira’s.

it's the lowest point in your life; you've never been this uncomfortable with bachira. he writes slowly, movements careful, and calculated to reduce the chance of any physical or verbal contact with you as much as possible. you're not any better either, though, as you almost hang off one side of the chair in order to stay as far away from him as possible. it's borderline painful for you both to live like this without each other, but what can you do? you're the one who messed up, after all. and he leaves without so much as a glance towards you.

on the third day, you wake up, reaching for your phone to check in case bachira’s texted you while you were asleep. he might have, because today your first class is almost an hour after his. you unlock your phone with rising hope, but the only notifications visible on your screen are texts from reo.

reo🤞🔥: stop being such a pussy dude

reo🤞🔥: just text him

reo🤞🔥: itd be so easy to resolve WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

there's a small smile on your face as you read the messages. over the last few days, you've gotten pretty close to him. it's nice to have someone to talk to, now that bachira’s started ignoring you. while he can never replace bachira, he's still a nice guy. the only thing you don't like about him is how convinced he is that bachira has a thing for you–he doesn't, you're sure of it.

YN🔛🔝: ??

YN🔛🔝: be so fr rn !

YN🔛🔝: he doesn't see me like that pls!!

you put your phone down to get ready for class–third time's the charm, right? you pay extra attention to your hair and makeup today for some reason; maybe he'll talk to you today! you blink, surprised at your own thoughts, and shake your head to try and to clear your mind. it still feels new to think of him this way, as someone who's more than just your best friend forever.

he's always been your best friend, after all. always the one person you knew you'd never want. you told him everything, and he, in turn, told you everything too. you remember the day he'd told you about his first kiss, eyes bright and cheeks flushed. you'd felt a pang of some unpleasant emotion you hadn't been able to identify. you were only fifteen, though. back then, you'd just thought that you were sad to lose him now that he was getting a girlfriend. you were no stranger to girl code; you knew that as soon as he started dating someone you'd have to pull back from him. but to your surprise, that day never came–instead, you were the one getting dates and partners. and every time, you'd notice the way he'd become so uncomfortable and standoffish whenever he was near you. but things would usually go back to normal as soon as your relationship ended, so at some point you just stopped dating. because in the end, you didn't care if you had a partner or not, if you were ugly or pretty, wanted or unwanted by those around you, as long as you had him.

and now you don't.

you're walking through the hallway towards your class, feverishly texting reo when you bump into someone coming the opposite way. your phone falls, and you automatically reach for it while blurting out a hurried apology, only for your hand to collide with someone else's. the hand that's caught your phone is very familiar, and there's panic pooling in your stomach as your eyes move up the well-defined arm, to the shoulder it's connected to, and then you look straight at the person's face. and finally, your eyes meet those gorgeous golden ones belonging to none other than bachira meguru.

he's holding out your phone to you when a new text from reo pops up, and two pairs of eyes flocker towards the screen.

reo🤞🔥: lmao stop being delusional hes so hung up on u its pathetic

“meguru–” you squeak, unable to find your voice. he raises a single eyebrow before handing you the phone. and then you're about to rush away from him as fast as possible when he grabs your wrist.

“class is the other way,” he grins. “you wanna sit beside me?”

your heart is soaring, joy pumping through your veins as you nod at him. maybe things aren't so bad after all. you readjust your hand so he's holding it instead of your wrist, and make your way to class together. it's nice, how everything's normal again. or as normal as it can get after that night anyway.

maybe you'll wait a bit longer before you tell him.

bachira sticks to you even after class ends, and suddenly you find yourself being steered towards the stores on your campus instead of your dormitory. you look at him, confused, but he just snickers, pulling you into a quaint little café. without a word, he sits down at a table for two, leaving you with no choice but to take your place opposite him.

“what's up?” you ask, leaning forward. he laughs in response, short and nervous and breathy, and runs one hand through his hair. the other fiddles with the menu anxiously before he looks up at you again.

“i’m sorry.”

“huh?” this is definitely not what you expected.

“i just needed some space, i guess. i was hungover, and annoyed and just–it hurt that you looked for someone else when you needed help. even if i was drunk, i could've–”

“i know,” you say. “i just wasn't thinking straight, you are and always will be my best friend, forever. i mean it.”

“okay!” there's a contagious smile on his face, and soon you're smiling too. how lucky you are, to have a best friend like him. and how greedy of you to want more. you shake those thoughts away as much as possible before focusing on whatever bachira’s saying.

“–wanna eat?”

“uh,” you bite your lip, thinking. “how about you choose?”

“you suuuuure?”

“mhm!” you nod at him, forcing a smile onto your face, and he gets up to go to the counter. as soon as his back is turned, you rip your phone out from your pocket. it's been buzzing violently since before class. and as expected, it's reo.

reo🤞🔥: what

reo🤞🔥: uh

reo🤞🔥: why am i being left on seen r u fr

reo🤞🔥: DUDE

reo🤞🔥: GET OUT OF MY FAV CAFE TF

reo🤞🔥: bachira will murder me if i go in there

reo🤞🔥: glad to see yall r friends again

reo🤞🔥: fuck u i’ll have to go w/o my mid morning coffee n snack

reo🤞🔥: whatever

yn🔛🔝: ill ttyl

you barely have time to shove your phone back into your pocket before bachira returns. he's holding a plate in each hand, grinning at you.

“gotchu your favourite!”

“thank you,” you murmur, taking a bite. you close your eyes, head tilted back as the sweetness invades your sense. “mm, this is good!”

“eat up!” he urges you with a nervous giggle. “there's somethin’ else i wanna discuss!”

panic floods your brain as you think of all the possibilities. what if he knows–what if reo told him–oh god, this isn't a farewell snack, is it?”

“hey! heeeeeeyyy,” whines bachira, waving his fork in front of your face. you blink at him blankly, eyes coming back into focus. “taste mine, it's amazing!”

before you pick up your own fork, he's shoving his into your mouth–and he's right, it is amazing. it's probably the best thing you've ever tasted in your entire life. his eyes light up when you appear to like it, and he pushes the plate towards you. “here, have more!”

you extend your fork towards his slice of cake, but he takes it from your hand and steals a bite from yours. “mm, this is good too! don't mix them, it won't taste as good anymore.”

you obey him, switching your forks, but your mind is racing. what the actual fuck is going on? did the two of you just share an indirect kiss? nope, you chide yourself. his lips probably didn't even touch the fork or anything. not that it matters, anyways.

“how much was it?” you ask abruptly, after you finish.

“what?”

“the cake,” you explain. “i should–”

“i paid already!” he smiles, waiting for you to smile back.

“i wanted to pay,” you pout, but he shakes his head, pulling you out of your chair.

“let’s go,” he says. “there's something else.”

at the entrance, one of the waitresses tells you what a cute couple you are, and you wait for bachira to correct her–but he doesn't. instead, he thanks her with a pretty, boyish grin and a nod, and the two of you leave hand in hand.

“what else did you want to talk about?” you ask nervously. you're curled into a heap of blankets on one side of bachira’s couch, and he's sprawled out on the other end. he lifts his head, trying to meet your eyes from the weird angle he's created.

“that night–the party–”

you cut him off with a high pitched, hysterical giggle. “oh, don't worry about that! we were both drunk–let’s pretend nothing ever happened!”

he hesitates for a moment, then nods, replying in an exaggerated sing-song voice. “‘kay then, if you say so~”

“so,” you exhale. “we’re okay now?”

“yeah!” he flashes you a thumbs up from his side of the couch, and something deep down inside you dies.

things do not, in fact, appear to be okay between the two of you. so far, you've declined every invite to a party that he had a chance of attending, and he avoids alcohol like the plague. you've both stopped going to each other's places, instead opting to. meet in more public areas. not very best friend-like, but you do have to take precautions, and it's something you're both aware of.

and that's how it stays for exactly a month and twelve days. awkward, awkward, awkward. because that's when your teacher announces the most important assignment of the year–one that has to be done in pairs. she tells the class where the pairs have been posted, and of course you're curious. unlocking your phone, you open the site she's mentioned. as soon as you find your name, a wave of panic rushes through you. because there, typed in neatly beside your name is the name of the one person you can't bring yourself to face properly right now. bachira meguru.

you glance at bachira, who's sitting next to you, back turned. you can see him scrolling through the list on his phone, and you also see how his finger freezes above your name. and then he's turning around, and you're hastily looking away, not wanting to be caught staring. there's a light flush on his cheeks, and there are sparkles in his eyes as he speaks. “hey, we're together!”

“yeah, i know,” you manage weakly.

“where do we meet up?” he asks. “we are gonna meet up, right?”

“right, uh–” you pause, trying to think. “how ‘bout our cafe?”

“mhm, sure!” his voice is even livelier than before. (the way you say “our cafe”, like it's something that the two of you share, that's only yours, awakens something in him. suddenly, he's willing to do just about anything just to hear you call something “ours”again.)

if only you knew…

when the two of you go to get the necessary materials for the assignment from the lobby, he sees how you start using your phone, pretending to be busy so you don't have to talk to him–or you were pretending at first. but now you're actually distracted, and he takes the opportunity to look at you properly. and you're so engrossed in the video playing on your phone that you don't notice the way his eyes travel over your face, soft and gentle and reverent. everyone but you can see the barely hidden adoration in his eyes, the raw emotion he spends so much effort trying to obscure from you. and then the receptionist is clearing her throat because you're at the front of the line, and neither of you have moved.

bachira stands in front of you, speaking hurriedly to the receptionist. you can see the way his hands move as he gestures while speaking, and a sudden rush of emotion overtakes you. oh, how you love this man. but you can't see his face (though you wish you could, because who wouldn't want to look at a face as beautiful as his?), and he's grateful for that, because if you could, you would see the burning blush on his face.

it's all but subsided by the time he turns around, arms full of your required materials. bachira smiles at you awkwardly as the two of you make your way towards your bags, ready to leave for the café.

“the fuck they mean closed?” you whine, staring at the sign taped to the door. your lower lip juts out as you pout, almost ready to cry. where else can you even go right now that's not chock-full of other students–

“my place is free,” suggests bachira. “yoichi and rin are out of town for the weekend so if you're down to finish it by then–”

you nod in agreement, a little too fast–you’re desperate to finish this assignment as fast as possible, because every second wasted means you have to spend more time one-on-one with bachira. turning around, the two of you head towards the dormitories.

it's around half past one in the morning, and you're not even close to finishing it. rolling onto your back, you turn your phone on, looking for something to wake you up–you can barely keep your eyes open.

bachira strolls in from the kitchen, munching on a cookie. “you want one?”

“sure, why not?” you reply, not paying attention.

but one thing leads to another, and one little snack leads to more, and before you know it you're sipping from a glass of something you don't know the name of, laughing over childhood memories. neither of you have had that much alcohol, but bachira’s always been a lightweight.

but never in your wildest dreams have you imagined what happens next–well actually you have, but that's unrelated to the point. he leans forward, brushing hair away from your face. his words are slurred, jumbling over one another as he speaks. “you're so pretty–the prettiest girl i know.”

you flinch away from his touch immediately, heart pounding.

“you don't mean that,” you whisper.

“‘course i dooo,” he whines. “‘m in love with you!”

“no you're not,” it's almost as if you're trying to convince yourself rather than him. you desperately want to believe him, believe that you're capable of being loved, but it just doesn't feel real. “stop saying things you'll regret in the morning.”

he makes grabby hands towards you, pouting. “noooo!”

“listen,” you say. “if you remember this in the morning, we can talk about it, mkay?”

“okay…”

“i’ll get you into bed and go home, that okay?”

“‘s dangerous outside,” he argues. “stay.”

“no,” you reply, getting up from the ground. he glares at you, but there isn't any real anger in it, and although you don't know why, it makes you cave instantly. “okay, but i’ll sleep on the couch.”

bachira shakes his head fervently. “no way!”

you ignore his words, before pulling him up and dragging him to the bathroom.

“brush your teeth.”

he nods, obeying you silently. according to reo, bachira’s either really expressive or really quiet when he's not sober. now you're seeing the quiet side, you suppose. he clumsily shoves his toothbrush back into the holder, and then you see it: not one, but two toothbrushes in the cup. his one, and the one you used to use, back when everything was normal. that's nice. you reach across the counter to take it, only to stop when you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around your middle. bachira’s head rests atop yours as he murmurs something unintelligible.

“what was that?” you ask, afraid to move.

“‘m sleepy, come to bed already,” he mumbles. your resolve is already pretty weak when it comes to him, but the feeling of his body against yours, his soft, sleepy voice–everything about the situation has you turning into putty in his hands.

“o-okay, meguru,” you say at last. there's a triumphant little grin on his face.

bachira’s bed is not the largest, but it's large enough to fit both of you comfortably. you feel him sleepily pull your body into his, but this time you give into your desires and let him.

light streams through the gaps in the curtains when your eyes open. where are you? as you slowly grow more aware of your surroundings, you realise that you're not the only one in the bed. your legs are tangled with someone else's, and suddenly you're terrified. is this the morning after a one night stand? you take a deep breath, only to smell something you can recognize with ease–the shampoo your best friend has been using for the last ten years. (he refuses to use anything else.) his face is tucked into the crook of your neck, arms tightened securely around your waist. even though he's much taller than you, he still seems small now that he's asleep. you really, really hope this is a dream–but you also wish for it to be real so badly, for it to last forever. and then he starts to wake up. a slight shudder runs through your body as his lashes brush against your skin when his eyes flutter open, and you feel his arms loosen around you. he doesn't move his head from under yours, and for some reason, you don't want him to. you feel his lips curve up against the exposed skin of your collarbone.

“yn.”

“hmm?” you're distracted; bachira’s hair just smells so familiar, so comforting, so like home.

“yn,” he repeats, louder this time, and you lean back to look up at him. “you said… if i remembered in the morning then we could talk about it.”

you freeze–all this time you'd been thinking he'd forgotten about it. “yeah, i guess…”

he gently pushes you away him so your eyes meet, then takes a deep, nervous breath. you haven't seen him this tense, ever. “listen, yn.”

“yeah?”

“yesterday night–i was telling the truth.”

your breath catches in your throat. “w-what?”

“i am, i have been in love with you. for years.”

you scramble up into a sitting position, shocked, disbelieving. you shake your head, voice trembling as you whisper. “no, stop lying.”

you try to shuffle away from him, but you stop immediately, almost falling off the bed. bachira’s fingers encircle your wrist as he pulls you away from the edge, unintentionally burying you in his chest.

“why won't you let me love you?” he whispers into your hair. it's so sad and soft and broken and raw that you want to cry, but instead you inhale shakily, trying to stay calm. his fingers ghost over your bare arms, unsure of where to hold you, and you fist the material of his tshirt, knuckles turning white from the strain. “please, just let me love you.”

you shake your head against his chest, the first few drops of an onslaught of tears dripping down your cheeks.

“you're not,” your voice breaks. “you're not thinking straight, meguru, you can't possibly love me.”

“and if i do?”

he cups your face softly, wiping your tears. you take the opportunity to glance at his eyes–sparkling golden liquor, now obscured by worry and concern and love? what if he's not lying, what if–your thoughts are jumbled, your brain is malfunctioning, you can't think. all you can focus on are his lips, so soft and kissable, and you want to kiss him, even though there's a voice inside you screaming, you shouldn't, you should stop, you don't deserve it, you don't deserve someone as good as him. but before you can stop yourself you're already pulling him closer to you by the thin material of his tshirt until your lips are barely centimeters apart.

“can i kiss you?” you ask. he almost doesn't hear your breathy whisper, eyes widening as it registers. But his lips are already on yours by the time another thought crosses your mind, and it's better than you imagined and more–it’s perfect. you move your hands up to tangle them in his hair as he pulls you onto his lap. hesitantly, you tear your lips away from his, panting and out of breath, euphoria overwhelming your senses. there's a wide, dopey grin on bachira’s face, cheeks tinted a pretty cherry red colour.

“god,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “ya know how long i’ve wanted to do this?”

for the first time in a while – a really long while – you allow yourself to feel. you can finally breathe again; you feel free. and so, as your lips mirror the smile that adorns his face, you whisper a reverent ‘i love you’ into his mouth before shamelessly kissing him again. after all, meguru bachira’s yours now–and forever, but you don't know that just yet.

bonus

“ew, morning breath,” you complain, grimacing, pushing bachira away once the post-kiss haze fade. he leans towards you again, pouting, pulling you in, but you wrestle yourself out of his grip with a giggle.

“baby, please,” he whines. you shake your head, no. “if i brush my teeth?”

you pretend to be appalled, staring at him in disbelief. “so you weren't gonna brush if you didn't want to kiss me?”

he groans in defeat, flopping down on his bed again before perking up. “yeah,” he grins. “i wouldn’t’ve. would've annoyed you aaaaall day long!”

you roll your eyes fondly, holding out your arms for him to crawl into. you place a kiss on the top of his head, and you can swear you hear him purr. “not gonna kiss you,” you murmur into his hair. “but we can stay like this.”

he groans again, half in approval, half in disappointment before closing his eyes.

damn, you think, if this isn't heaven then you really don't know what is.

#✩ writing !#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #bachira meguru #bachira meguru x reader #meguru bachira x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock bachira #bllk bachira #blue lock headcanons #blue lock imagine #bllk headcanons #bllk imagines #bllk #bllk fluff #bllk x you #bluelock

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misshoneyimhome · 24 hours

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voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir I Simon Benoit 🖋️⚡️

Requested? Yes / No

Summary; The arrival of a new player on the team has drawn your attention, and in your role as a content creator for the Toronto Maple Leafs, you must proceed cautiously to find out whether you've also captured his interest.

I know, I'm terrible with summaries...

Other notes; Babes! We need to put on warnings when your requests introduce me to players with cute accents! 😂 I don't know why, but I've got a soft spot, alright (seriously got sucked down the rabbit hole while watching videos of him😅) 🤍 Anyway, so here is my very first smutty Simon Benoit fic - and I just hope you enjoy it 😊

Tropes & Warnings; sort of secret love; 18+ smut; fingering, protected penetrative sex (p in v);

Words counts; 4.2K

Taglist; @couldawouldashoulda50 @findapenny @justwanderingbutneverlost

・✶ ｡ﾟ

“Strength does not come from physical capacity - it comes from an indomitable will” - Tattoo on Simon Benoit’s chest.

Simon Benoit was nothing short of extraordinary. At least in your opinion.

Being part of the Toronto Maple Leafs community meant you were no stranger to the inner workings of the hockey world and the turmoil it brought every single day. From game nights filled with cheers and adrenaline to quiet moments of support and camaraderie, you'd seen it all from your perspective as a social media content creator.

And when Simon Benoit joined the team for the 23/24 season, he immediately caught your eye.

You weren't entirely sure what it was, yet there was simply something about the Quebecois defenceman that intrigued you from the start. Perhaps it was his effortless grace on the ice or the way his determination shone through every move. Or the way he battled at every opportunity, not accepting when things weren’t right or fair. Regardless of what it was, you found yourself drawn to him in a way that was both exciting and intimidating. His large frame, both in height and in width, made you seem like a small mouse compared to him, even in your heels. Yet his demeanour was nothing but friendly and soothing, which quickly evaporated all the harsh exterior.

But as much as you wanted to get to know Simon better, it wasn't easy, as his focus on his career and athletic performance left little room for anything else. You rarely crossed paths outside of the arena, and when you did, he was usually surrounded by teammates or lost in his own thoughts.

Despite the challenges, you couldn't help but admire his dedication and drive. Watching him on the ice, in the weight room, or on the training field, it was clear that he poured his heart and soul into every game and anything he did, leaving nothing behind but sweat and determination. And while it made getting close to him difficult, it only added to the allure.

Every day, you found yourself stealing glances whenever he was on the ice, marvelling at his skill and tenacity as you captured pictures and videos of the team for the social media platforms. And when the opportunity arose to interact with him, even in passing, you treasured every moment, no matter how fleeting.

Yet deep down, you knew that if you wanted to truly get to know Simon Benoit, you'd have to find a way to break through his walls and connect with him on a deeper level.

It wouldn't be easy, but then again, nothing worth having ever was.

Navigating the workflow with the Leafs wasn’t always easy, but most of the time you felt like you had it all under control. You knew you were good at your job, and most of the staff members of the company recognised your work and effort.

You weren’t particularly shy by nature, nor were you the most extroverted person. You had your small, close group of friends and occasionally went out. However, your work took much of your time, especially when the managers wanted you to travel with the team, so you didn’t exactly party or live the crazy life in the city. Instead, you kept your life rather chill and easy-going, focusing on various ways to improve your skills and just enjoying being in your early to mid-twenties.

And to the team, you were simply a nice person, hanging around and making funny videos from time to time. You didn’t particularly spend much time with them outside of hockey, yet you felt like you had a nice bond with most of the players and their partners.

In a way, you were content with your life. Sure, it was busy and sometimes overwhelming, but it was also fulfilling and exciting. The only person you were truly interested in knowing more about was Simon.

Naturally, you made efforts to insert yourself whenever the media team wanted to interview him, but you also wanted to maintain an air of nonchalance. So, you played it cool.

Well, as cool as possible, until it came time for his turn in the Blue Room session.

You found yourself unable to suppress your smiles and giggles at each of his responses. He effortlessly delivered humour, exuding relaxation and authenticity. It was akin to witnessing a more intimate side of him, one unmasked by his athletic prowess. And as he spoke, you hung onto his every word, enchanted by his charisma and genuineness. It was in these moments that the desire to know him beyond the confines of the hockey rink intensified.

And to your surprise, Simon seemed to take notice of you too.

"That's a cute laugh," he remarked suddenly as the session drew to a close, causing you to glance up from your phone, taken aback by his boldness.

"Oh... erm... thanks," you replied, a hint of nervousness creeping into your voice. "I mean, I've always hated it..."

Your heart raced as you found yourself in close proximity to the defenseman, the two of you lingering amidst the team's clean-up efforts after his milk-guessing antics.

But to your relief, Simon didn't seem to pick up on your nerves. Instead, he simply chuckled.

"Why hate it?" he inquired, his charming French-Canadian accent adding to the allure.

You couldn't help but blush. "Oh, I don't know," you admitted softly. "It just feels a bit... loud and weird..."

"So?" Simon chuckled again. "You should embrace it. It's cute."

You were left speechless. Simon Benoit found your laughter cute? You felt like a schoolgirl, standing there, blushing under his gaze as he offered a compliment.

This wasn't like you. You were usually confident in your interactions with guys. You knew you were pretty good-looking, had a pleasant demeanour and got along well with most people. Yet, this hockey player had you feeling flustered, your stomach aflutter with butterflies, and your mind in a whirl.

You wanted to say something. Perhaps even suggest grabbing coffee together. But before you could gather your thoughts, Simon was called back to re-join the team's training session. And as he flashed you a friendly smile on his way out, a twinge of disappointment washed over you. Had you just missed your chance?

Luckily, that wasn't your only chance.

Although conversations between you and Simon remained limited post-Blue Room filming, there were frequent exchanges of glances and smiles in the hallway or aboard the plane.

Whenever your camera was in hand, Simon would flash you a smile, his gaze lingering a tad longer as he greeted you with a warm "hi." You reciprocated the gesture. It was a subtle dance of silent, discreet flirtation, or perhaps not entirely flirtatious, yet there lingered an unspoken connection beyond mere friendliness.

And while on the road, shortly after Simon inked his three-year contract with the Leafs, you were on the brink of discovering if there was indeed something more between you.

Amidst the whirlwind of travel chaos and the players' hectic schedules, you settled into your seat on the plane, laptop in front of you, attempting to unwind for the flight ahead.

Meanwhile, Simon couldn't help but steal occasional glances in your direction. Your focused expression, the way you nibbled on the end of your pen while engrossed in your laptop screen, didn't escape his notice, eliciting a smile from him.

You were so incredibly beautiful, and your laughter was nothing but contagious. Yet Simon knew he had to tread cautiously. He didn't want to come across as the new guy making moves on the women of the team. Moreover, his primary focus was on his career. Despite its ups and downs, his love for the sport remained unwavering, and he was determined to prove himself and relish every moment.

So, he attempted to maintain a slight distance from you. Tried, being the operative word. You seemed to be around all the time, and he couldn't ignore the subtle sparks you ignited within him. No matter how hard he tried to keep his focus solely on the game and his professional trajectory, there was something about you that made it challenging to keep his distance. Perhaps it was your laid-back demeanour or the genuine warmth that exuded from you.

Nevertheless, Simon found himself drawn to you, even as he strived to uphold a level of professionalism. In the tight-knit world of hockey, he was wary of stirring up any unnecessary drama within the team. Yet, as the flight progressed and the hours slipped away, he couldn't shake the notion that perhaps, just perhaps, there was something worth exploring between the two of you.

The match against the Bruins proved to be a challenge, resulting in a disappointing 4-1 loss for the Leafs. However, redemption came swiftly with a hard-fought 3-2 victory against the Montreal Canadiens two days later.

The locker room reverberated with cheers following the intense game, where the captain had sealed the win with the third goal. Yet, amidst the jubilation, it was the smiles of a certain defenseman that caught your attention.

Though Benoit hadn't seen action on the ice tonight, his joy mirrored that of his teammates, his eyes occasionally finding their way to you at the back of the room as the managers urged the players to simply enjoy in their triumph.

Instead of heading straight home to Toronto, the team had opted to stay overnight, given the upcoming days off. So, while the players ventured out for some well-deserved fun, you decided to retreat to the hotel to tackle some work.

It was nothing too taxing, just some photo editing from the evening's events. You even brought your laptop to the bar, indulging in a glass of white wine while putting the finishing touches on the social media content.

However, suddenly, a voice broke through your focused reverie.

"Hey, I thought we were supposed to be having fun, not working," Simon chuckled as he sidled up next to you at the bar.

Startled by his sudden appearance, you nearly choked on your drink, momentarily at a loss for words. "Oh, erm... yeah, I just needed to, um, wrap up some media stuff," you managed, flashing him a sheepish smile.

"And you're drinking while working?" he teased, his laughter filling the air once more.

"Gotta make work a little more enjoyable, right?" you quipped back with a playful grin, before shaking your head slightly. "By the way, I never got the chance to congratulate you on the contract!" you steered the conversation towards a more professional and friendly tone, prompting Simon to casually lean against the bar, his smile unwavering.

"Oh, yeah, thanks! It's... it's good to have that one in place," he replied, his tone carrying a hint of relief.

"I can imagine," you replied gently. "Dealing with contracts always seem to be quite the challenge."

"Definitely... it's been a bit nerve-wracking, but also exciting," he echoed your soft tone.

"So, I guess it's time for everyone to get to know more about Simon Benoit then," you attempted to maintain a light-hearted tone.

"Yeah, maybe... so, if you ever feel like it, you can just... interview me, or something..." he chuckled softly.

"Maybe I will…” you smiled back.

There was a brief pause as you silently pondered why he was suddenly engaging in this spontaneous conversation with you.

"Wait, why are you here, Benny? Shouldn't you be out with the boys?" you finally asked.

"Oh, I was, but we were just a few who wanted to head back early before things got too monkey like," he explained, his smile serene as he stood close, the scent of beer subtly lingering around him, his tall frame nearly matched your seated position on the highchair.

"Monkey-like?" you couldn't help but laugh softly.

"Yeah, you know, some of the single guys wanted to flirt with girls, so... Cap and a few others preferred to head back and chat with their partners instead," he explained.

You smiled, relishing the closeness and the opportunity to converse with him like this. Yet, his words lingered in your mind. "And you... you have to call your... girlfriend too?" you asked, your voice soft and tinged with a hint of hesitancy, not wanting to appear too nervous or disappointed by his potential response.

Simon met your gaze for a moment before shaking his head gently. "Nah, no girl waiting for me at home," he replied simply and casually, prompting a soft sigh of relief and a smile to form on your lips.

"But you didn't feel like flirting with anyone else either?" you chuckled lightly, a blend of playfulness and nervousness.

Simon remained calm and collected, offering you a soft glance before speaking softly. "Why would I bother flirting with strangers when there's a perfectly beautiful girl right here in this bar?" he said, his tone laced with flirtation, a smile playing on his lips. His words sent warmth coursing through you, leaving an undeniable impact.

He was smooth, undeniably so. And you found yourself falling for his charm.

Desperate to maintain your composure, you took another sip of your drink, then smoothly licked your lips as you considered your response. "You certainly have a way with words, don't you?" you remarked, a playful smirk gracing your features. “Knowing how to impress a girl…”

"Well, that depends... is it working?"

As you glanced at the dwindling contents of your glass and then back at him with a suggestive smile, you felt a surge of desire.

"Maybe..." you replied coyly, your heart racing with anticipation. “Yes…”

When you first joined the club as a content creator, getting involved with players was the last thing on your mind. In fact, you had mentally resolved never to entertain any romantic entanglements with the team. And so far, it hadn't been a challenge. While the players were undoubtedly attractive in their own right, there had never been a spark with any of them. That is, until Simon joined the team.

So, downing the last drops of your wine, you rose from your seat, gathering your phone and laptop before making your way to the lift, with Simon following closely behind.

Nothing was rushed. It was all happening at a rather slow pace as neither of you wanted to seem too eager. Yet the build-up tension between you was evident. The longing for each that had been lingering for months was hanging thick in the air. And it wasn’t until you were stopping outside your hotel room door, you locked eyes with his.

Pressing your lips together, you struggled to find the words you longed to speak. "I, uh... I've got my own room... I mean, I'm not sharing it with anyone..." you murmured softly.

And that was all the encouragement Simon needed. Closing the distance between you, he captured your lips with his own, pressing you gently against the door in a fervent kiss, igniting a passion that had been simmering between you for months.

It was everything you had imagined and more. The kiss was perfect—gentle yet passionate, fulfilling the fantasies you had long harboured. Simon's hands on your jaw, his fingers delicately threading through your hair as he drew you closer, felt like a dream. His tongue, a subtle yet insistent invitation, prompted your lips to part, eagerly meeting his in a dance of desire. There was no mistaking the mutual longing that enveloped you both in that moment.

Managing to locate your key card amidst the haze of desire, you gently pushed open the door, inviting him into your small hotel room.

The dimmed lights cast a romantic glow, heightening the intimacy as you both explored each other's bodies with slow, tender caresses. Simon's size and strength made it effortless for him to lift you into his arms, carrying you to the bed without breaking the connection of your lips.

And your kisses remained fervent as you slowly undressed each other, shedding shirts and trousers until you were both clad in nothing but underwear. Heels were kicked aside, forgotten in the heat of the moment, leaving you lying on your back in lacy lingerie with the hockey player hovering above you.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, a hint of concern in his voice, mindful of any boundaries that might exist between a hockey player and an MLSE employee.

But in that moment, you didn't care about titles or roles. You were simply two individuals consumed by desire. So, with a light smile, you nodded, giving him the silent permission to continue, letting go of any rationalisations or inhibitions that might have held you back.

And just like the night had been so far, his touch was tender, each movement deliberate as he slowly removed your lacy knickers, exposing your core to him. His fingers traced along the skin of your thighs, sending shivers of anticipation through you as they inched closer to your centre. And when his digits finally made contact with your sensitive flesh, you couldn't help but gasp, your fingers finding his strong arms for support.

Simon then gently pleasured you, and small moans escaped your lips, betraying the wonderful feeling coursing through your body. And iIt didn't take long before those moans turned into sweet cries of ecstasy as his fingers pressed against your entrance, stretching you as they eased their way inside.

His fingers, much like the rest of him, were long and thick, and you couldn't shake the awareness that your colleague was just next door as Simon stimulated your walls, his movements deliberate and eager to bring you pleasure. Yet, your soft moans and cries only spurred him on, each pump of his fingers eliciting a delicious sensation as he curled them upwards, seeking out that particularly sensitive spot.

"Oh, fuck," you exclaimed as he hit the mark perfectly, his movements growing quicker in response to your cries, your fingers digging into his skin in a desperate grip. "Yes... right there..."

And he understood his mission completely, pumping his fingers with precision to drive you towards the brink of climax. And as he kept on going, his determined motions sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, causing your vision to blur as you arched your back and reached the pinnacle of ecstasy.

"Oh, yes..." you panted, gasping for air as the rush of pleasure washed over you, your toes curling as you reached your high.

Gently the man above you then pumped a few more times through your orgasm, as he simply enjoyed the wetness he had caused between your legs, before withdrawing his fingers.

"Shit, every sound you make is so fucking amazing," Simon murmured under his breath, his hardness pressing against him, aroused by the stimuli he had provided you. Your moans, much like your laughter, were nothing but music to his ears.

So, without hesitation, he crawled back to discard his own boxers, before covering his length with the condom you tossed him.

"Gotta be responsible, right?" you smiled, flashing him a flirtatious, confident wink as you took pride in being prepared. And Simon simply chuckled in response, returning to the mattress and kneeling between your legs, before he then pulled you close to him, wrapping your legs around him as he lined the tip of his cock with your entrance before slowly pushing in.

It was no secret that Simon was a large man. Standing at 6'4" and weighing 205 lbs, he was undeniably substantial, and his hard member only reflected that. He knew he had to go slow, taking his time as he controlled the movements of his hips perfectly from this angle.

So, with a firm grip on your thighs and hips, he gently stretched your walls inch by inch, eliciting soft sounds of pleasure from you, causing you to grasp onto the pillow behind you as he reached your depths.

"Oh yes, ma puce," Simon hummed under his breath, relishing in the tightness of your smaller frame around him, before he then began to pull out and push back in, settling into a slow and steady rhythm to ease into the experience.

"Mmm, oh," you moaned softly, the sensation of his movements sending waves of pleasure through you, your legs trembling in response to his deep penetration.

The pace was a perfect blend of slow and steady, each thrust filled with deep passion. You found yourself panting for air as he gradually increased the intensity, feeling your muscles adjust to accommodate his size.

Yet, though he tried to maintain control, Simon couldn't deny the overwhelming pleasure coursing through him as your bodies melted together. With each movement, you pushed him closer to the edge, fuelling his desire for more.

However, resisting the urge to push harder and faster, he instead leaned over your petite form and captured your lips in a hungry kiss. He then took a strong hold of your body, urging you to wrap your arms around his neck as he lifted you from the mattress, positioning you to straddle him as he leaned back on his heels.

It wasn’t exactly an easy position to master at first, but as you sank deeper onto his cock, a loud, uncontrolled moan escaped your lips. And almost instinctively, you grabbed onto his brown locks and began to bounce on him.

“Oh yes, mmm baby, that’s it,” he encouraged seductively, his hands guiding your hips as you moved your core up and down his shaft. Cries of pleasure slipped from your tongue and lips, the intensity overwhelming any attempt at connecting in sloppy kisses, while pearls of sweat formed on your skin as you moved in sync, lost in pure pleasure.

“Mmm, god, it feels... so good,” you softly whined as you found a rhythm, your thighs controlling your motions while his strong embrace kept you in place. Your grip in his hair tightened with every passing moment as he stimulated you from within, and soon, you couldn’t hold back your eagerness to reach the impending second orgasm.

And Simon sensed your urgency as your muscles clenched, your panting uncontrolled, and your motions fervent. “Yes, ma puce… come for me, come on my dick,” he encouraged seductively, his hands guiding your hips to move faster, before he allowed his thumb to seek out your clit, and give you the final push.

You didn’t need to be told twice. Bouncing a few times more vigorously, you let out a deep moan as you pushed yourself to your second climax, resting your head in the crook of his neck as you shut your eyes.

Barely able to hold your own body upright, Simon had you secured as you let the rush of pleasure take over. And you couldn’t ignore that your legs trembled as your core pulsated around him, this being one of the most intense orgasms you’d experienced in a long time.

Breathing became close to difficult, but you managed to refill your lungs with air as you collected yourself, slowly coming out of the euphoric state.

Simon gave you the time you needed to come down from the high, yet he felt his own climax approaching. With the tightness of your core around him, it was increasingly difficult to hold back. So, as he sensed you were back to reality, your satisfied smile indicating your pleasure as you leaned back and opened your eyes, he crashed his lips onto yours in a hungry kiss while pressing you back down into the mattress and picking up forceful thrusts.

Driven by nothing but primal instincts, Simon then pounded vigorously into you, the echoes of your moans ringing in his ears. The air was thick with the scent of sex, the noises of your bodies colliding with force filling the room. And you knew your neighbour was likely to hear you, but you didn’t care. Your mind and body had surrendered to the team’s new defenceman, and you did nothing to stop him from pushing himself closer to his own climax, thrusting with every bit of energy he had in him until he let out a deep grunt, accompanied by a few French curse words, as he released himself into the condom.

You could barely move as Simon rested on top of you, both of your breaths deep and eager. None of you spoke as the high slowly faded, and it was only with care that Simon withdrew himself, offering you a quick kiss before he went to discard the condom.

Your body still tingled from the latest orgasm, as if months of silent flirting had finally found release. Catching your breath, you couldn't help but smile as the hockey player returned to the bed.

Naturally, you both knew he couldn’t stay the night; no one should know he’d been the cause of your loud moans. However, during breakfast, neither of you could resist sending glances across the room. And during the plane ride back to Toronto, you shared only secret messages, trying not to draw attention from your teammates.

Yet that only lasted a few days before Max caught on to the sexual tension between you, and with his big mouth running, soon everyone on the team knew.

Initially, you felt a little embarrassed. However, as you overheard Simon talking about how good it felt to finally give in to his desires and wanting to find a way to ask you out, you felt a level of pride and warmth within you.

And fortunately, it didn’t take long before you finally went on your very first official date.

#18+ smut #simon benoit smut #simon benoit imagine #simon benoit x reader #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl hockey smut #nhl hockey imagine

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theamberfist · 2 days

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How I Met Her Mother | Part 3 | Tighnari x Reader

Romantic: Tighnari x Collei's Parent! Reader

Description: When Collei and the traveler discover Tighnari's feelings for her adoptive parent, they make it their mission to get them on a date together through a (maybe unnecessarily) elaborate plan.

(Notes: none) (gender neutral reader) (reader is Collei's adoptive parent) (Part 3 of How I Met Her Mother)

Words: 2526

Part 1, Part 2

"Y/n!" Aether called as he came into your medical tent, looking like he had some important things to talk about. You stood from where you'd been mixing new medicines at a table.

"What is it?" You asked, a little worried he'd gone and gotten himself badly hurt again. Luckily, that didn't seem to be the case and you sighed in relief at the fact that he had no blood visibly on his person.

"We heard news! Big news!" Paimon exclaimed like she was about to burst if she didn't tell you what it was.

"Tell me!" You ordered with a smile.

"We heard Tighnari is throwing a party this evening!" The pixie explained, "For you and Collei!" At this, you frowned in confusion.

"Me and Collei?"

"Yes!" Paimon replied, "It's supposed to be a surprise but we couldn't let you show up to a party not looking your best so we thought we'd tell you anyway! Just please don't tell Tighnari we told you!" Aether had to admit that her acting had gotten better throughout the day; he almost wanted to applaud her for this performance.

"Why would he be throwing a party for us?" You asked, "Doesn't he already have so much to do as head forest ranger?"

"He said there's no better cure than celebration!" Paimon replied, knowing full-well the fox-eared ranger would never say that, "Plus, he wants to thank you both for all you've done as a trainee forest ranger and doctor here! We already told Collei, so we wanted to let you know to look your best this evening and come to this location at sunset!" She handed you a map with a marked area on it that was just outside the village but on the opposite side from your medical tent; near yours and Collei's hut.

"Oh, thanks!" You exclaimed, "I promise, your secret is safe with me. I'll take this to my grave." Your tone was dead serious but there was a smile on your face as Paimon nodded in agreement.

"Us too!" She decided.

"I guess I'll have to wear one of my nice outfits tonight," you decided, "And find a host-gift for Tighnari! I don't think he's ever hosted a party that I've been to before, so what do you think he'd like as a gift?"

"Flowers!" Paimon exclaimed, "Potted plants, to be specific! Paimon thinks that's a common tradition in Gandharva Ville at parties, too." Aether gave her a knowing glance but said nothing, simply nodding in confirmation.

"Good idea!" You replied. You hadn't been living among the forest rangers for very long, so any advice these two could provide was very valuable. They nodded, letting you get back to work now as they headed out of your medical tent. The second they were fully out of your sight, they turned to one another and high-fived over a job well-done. Things were almost ready to go.

..........

Meanwhile, Collei was having an almost identical conversation with her mentor.

"Master Tighnari," She spoke casually, "did you hear about the party this evening?" This made him arch an eyebrow as he set the box of Padisarah's near your medical tent. They always left herbs outside in case you had sleeping patients there; the process of moving them in could be rather loud.

"I didn't." He admitted, "Who's throwing it? Is it here?" Parties were not his think but you'd always seemed to enjoy them enough; even during your Akademiya days. He'd gone to a few with you and Cyno and always found that you were a surprisingly good friend to have around for them; respecting everyone's boundaries when it came to social situations and making sure they all stayed safe. As a result, he'd had a shockingly pleasant time whenever he did agree to go with you.

Collei gestured towards your medical tent silently now and the fox-eared forest ranger immediately seemed to get more interested. Collei lead him far enough away so that you wouldn't be able to hear from inside before speaking.

"Between you and me, they're throwing it for you." She admitted, "I'm not supposed to say anything but I know surprises like this make me nervous so I thought you might appreciate a warning beforehand." Tighnari could practically feel his heart melt at that but he kept his cool in front of the trainee.

"I see," he replied, "But why is Y/n throwing a party for me? They don't need to do anything extra for anyone around here when they already work so hard-"

"I think they just want to show their appreciation for you," Collei smiled, ignoring the fact that she'd just interrupted her teacher for one of the first- and likely only- times in her life. "You help us both a lot, Master Tighnari, and we're really thankful for it!" The forest ranger had to look away to hide his touched expression.

Finally, he composed himself before turning back to the girl. "Thank you for letting me know, Collei." He told her with a smile, "I'll be sure to get Y/n a gift for their trouble and attend the party I'm not supposed to know about on time." Collei nodded, taking out a map where she'd marked the 'party' location.

"It'll be here at sunset!" She informed him before heading off to get back to her work. Then she stopped, "Oh, and they love flowers, as a suggestion!" With that, she was gone before he could say anything else.

Tighnari chuckled and shook his head. Flowers, huh? For anyone else, that might have helped give him an idea of what to give you. But as a botanist, that did not narrow the choices down at all.

Away from everyone else's sight, Collei met back up with Paimon and the traveler, silently high-fiving them. They'd done everything they could to set up a date between you and Tighnari; now all that was left was to wait and hope it all turned out alright.

..........

Tighnari checked the map Collei had given him one more time to make sure he was heading for the right location. It looked like this party of yours was supposed to be not far from your home, which made sense; given that it would make it easier to set everything up.

He still wasn't sure how you'd expected him to end up in the right location at the right time if he wasn't supposed to know about it, though. No one had come and asked him to do anything that might be related- was he just supposed to have read your mind and shown up?

Either way, he wasn't about to question your intentions. Kind acts like this had always been your specialty, and despite how stressed you might have been, he wouldn't have put it past you to do one now. However, when he finally arrived at the location with potted flowers in hand and the very green suit he'd conveniently bought today, there was no one else around.

The place Collei had told him the party would be at was by the river just outside of Gandharva Ville but right now it was completely void of decorations or any other typical party-related items. And on top of that, you didn't seem like you were anywhere to be found.

"Tighnari, hey!" A familiar voice finally spoke behind him, making relief wash over him like a wave. He turned around to see you in attire equally as formal as his own; the colors would even look perfect together if you two stood next to one another. "Am I too late? Is the party over already?" A look of confusion bloomed over his face.

"...I was going to ask you the same thing?" He admitted, glancing back at the map provided by his trainee, who had also written down the time by which he needed to be here.

"What do you mean?" You asked, though there was a hint of knowledge behind your eyes; as if you'd somewhat expected this outcome when you arrived, "Aether and Paimon told me you were hosting a surprise party here tonight."

"Collei told me you were doing the same thing..." The forest ranger replied as he crossed his arms. There was a pause, but then your smile widened.

"I think I know what's going on here." You admitted as you headed over to a few boulders that rest by the river. Careful to avoid getting your nice clothes dirty, you took a seat on one of them.

"Oh?" Tighnari asked with slight amusement. Though he didn't know what was going on, the fact that you still seemed happy was likely a good sign. "Do enlighten me then, Y/n." Your grin widened.

"I heard Collei chatting with the traveler early this morning," You explained, "She'd gone outside in the middle of the night, and as her parent, of course my instincts kicked in and I went to listen. I wasn't sure what they were talking about then, but it makes more sense now..." You trailed off but the forest ranger just arched an eyebrow, urging you to continue. "They mentioned something about a plan, and then both Collei and Aether made sure we would be here at the same time."

"...This was their plan." Tighnari finally said, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he'd been played so easily by his own student.

"It seems that way." You chuckled, shaking your head as your gaze lifted up to the sky, "I suppose when those three get together, they become quite the meddling bunch." The forest watcher rolled his eyes at that.

"No kidding," he replied, "We'll need to talk with Collei about not getting involved in other people's private affairs later." You nodded as he took a seat on the boulder next to you and looked out at the river, which seemed to sparkle in the setting sunlight.

"Definitely," you replied, "But I suspect she still had good intentions."

"I'm sure," Tighnari told you, "Though, going as far as to set the two of us up on a date was still an overstep." As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He didn't even need to see the surprised, slightly red look on your face to know he'd messed up. So, rather than having to look over, he immediately stood from the boulder he'd been resting on and cleared his throat. "I should be going," he said quickly, "I wouldn't want to keep you from your patients with something this trivial."

"Actually," You spoke up before he could walk away, "They're all taken care of. I had a suspiciously small number coming into the medical clinic today." This made the forest ranger's ear perk.

"Really?" He replied, "That's interesting; I had a suspiciously small amount of work to handle today, as if someone had gone out of their way to get it done for me."

"...How peculiar." You grinned, knowing exactly whom was behind that. Tighnari let out a dramatic groan but plopped down on the boulder again. He couldn't help but feel more and more like an idiot with every part of Collei's plan that came to light.

"If it helps, you don't have to actually consider this a date," you spoke up now, turning your gaze back to the pretty river, "You don't even have to stay, if you don't want to." Despite the fact that you were trying to take as much pressure off him as possible, you still felt a flutter of hope in your chest at the idea that he might see this situation the same way.

"I didn't say I didn't want to..." He replied finally, still not meeting your eyes, "But a first date planned by someone else- the daughter of my friend, no less- feels insincere." You chuckled at that.

"Fair enough." You paused for a moment, "Then we could call it a...Half-date, if that makes you feel better." By now, it seemed to have become clear how you both felt about one another and you weren't about to back down from making this happen if he wanted it too.

"A half-date?" Tighnari repeated with an unamused expression but you could tell he didn't hate the idea.

"Yes," you told him with a grin, "Like a trial run. That way, I can properly ask you on a real date later." His face grew red at that but he immediately shook off his nerves.

"Who says I won't ask you first?" Your smile widened.

"Well, then I guess we'll just have to see who beats who to the punch." You decided. Tighnari crossed his arms at that but a playful look rested on his face nonetheless.

"You're on, Y/n." He replied and you laughed.

After that, conversation started to flow much easier. You two had been close friends for years now; since even before you'd adopted your daughter. Despite the initial awkwardness of admitting you both had feelings for one another, you fell back into your regular dynamic and ended up spending much longer by the river than expected.

You didn't come home until late that night when the forest ranger insisted on walking you back to your house. Luckily, the lights were all off so it seemed like Collei was already asleep and wouldn't see you returning from a half-date the way a teenager might have.

"Well, I'd say that was an enjoyable experience." You grinned as you and Tighnari stopped in front of the door to your home, "I'd go one a half-date with you again." His own smile, though still a little awkward, widened.

"What about a full date?" Your heartbeat quickened but you feigned thinking the idea over.

"Hmm...I suppose a full date with you wouldn't be so bad either." You decided finally, "I accept, but I'm not happy that you asked me before I could ask you!" This made the forest ranger chuckle.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Y/n." He said, letting go of your hand that he'd been holding this whole time.

"Bye, Tighnari!" You replied quietly enough that you hopefully wouldn't wake your daughter before opening the door to your home and stepping inside. You closed it silently behind you, once again feeling like a teenager that had snuck out of the house when they weren't supposed to, but the second you turned around you were startled by the sight of a green haired girl laying on your couch.

She seemed to wake up now that you were back and rubbed her eyes sleepily. "You're back..." She whispered. Your heart melted, as it always did around your kid.

"Have you been waiting out here for me this whole time, sweetheart?" You asked, going over to the nearby closet to grab her another blanket since she was shivering slightly. Collei just nodded but then seemed to realize what time it was because she looked out the window seeing it so dark.

"Were you on your date with Master Tighnari this whole time?!" She asked excitedly, seemingly not tired anymore.

"So it was you that was behind that." You commented, gently tossing the blanket her way. Seeing that you didn't deny it, her excitement seemed to grow.

"Is Master Tighnari going to be my new dad?!" She asked eagerly as your face turned beat red.

"Collei!"

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin tighnari #tighnari #tighnari x you #tighnari x reader #gender neutral insert #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral reader #gender neutral #collei #genshin collei #parent reader #fanfic #genshin fanfic

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witchywithwhiskey · 3 days

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On the AO3 post for the alpha next door you wrote that you'd mostly read omegaverse novels om KU. Do you have any recs??? 😄 always looking to expand my TBR!

oh my god there is nothing i love more than giving book recs!!! ok here we go:

Baby & the Late Night Howlers by Kathryn Moon was my very first omegaverse book. it's reverse harem + bikers, and the premise is basically that the female main character thinks she's a beta but finds out she's an omega by very suddenly going into heat while in a biker bar. i think it's a pretty good entry point.

Lola & the Millionaires Part One and Two by Kathryn Moon are the second and third novels in this Sweet Omegaverse series (which are all reverse harem), and they're about a beta who matches with a pack of millionaires who've found a male omega. this is a neat non-omega-focused duology.

Bad Alpha by Kathryn Moon (i swear not every book on this list will be by Kathryn Moon) is another book in this universe. its about a female alpha who forms a pack with a male omega and some male alphas. she's also an assassin who was sent to kill the male omega, but she mates with him instead. and she's very much a badass.

Faith & the Dead End Devils by Kathryn Moon is about the omega sister of the male omega from Bad Alpha. it has another biker pack but i think i liked it better than the first one. she's rescued by the bikers from like omega traders and it takes her some time to feel comfortable with the pack and i like stories like that. (also there's one scene where a beta uses his fist to replicate a knot and i....have never been the same 😳)

outside Kathryn Moon's Sweet Omegaverse series, i recently finished reading Devyn Sinclair's Slate City Omegaverse series and it's great—they're all reverse harem as well and take scent matching even further. Knot Your Damn Omega is about an omega whose twin sister is a famous actress and so she's struggled to meet alphas who truly want her for her, until she meets her scent matches in a pack of tattoo artists. Knot All That Glitters is about a politician's daughter who scent matches with her security guard and his pack. and Knot For A Moment is about a ballet dancer who scent matched with her best friend in college but left before he found out and then of course he joins her ballet company years later and learns she's his match. all of these are very very sweet but have a good amount of plot to balance the smut.

Dark City Omega by Elizabeth Stephens is the only non-reverse harem omegaverse book i'm rec'ing but it's just so so so so good—it has an enemies to lovers storyline that's chef's kiss. it's a bit on the darker side, and the world-building is more extensive than the other books, but it's fantastic.

i also devoured the first book of the Pack Darling duology by Lola Rock in like less than 24 hours, but it ends on a cliffhanger and i had to wait for the second book and it just didn't really live up to my expectations so that's a "maybe you could try it if you want" kind of rec.

anyway! those are the ones i'd rec. i've read others but they were only ok. if you've read any already, or if you do read any, let me know what you think!!

#molly answers asks #book recs #veltana

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lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar · 1 year

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I feel like I'm In middle school again when friends would stand me up and I would cry in my moms arms bc I felt worthless. What do I have to do to be included and loved

if you ever find the answer please let me know because i think this would (have been) be important information to have (20 years ago)

#anon i am sorry you're feeling this way #i don't know what's going on right now but #you are not worthless and i hope things get better #and that you've found/will find better friends #because those ones don't sound good

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philtatosbuck · 5 months

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the writers well and truly hate bonnie i'm sorry but you have to suspend your disbelief so fucking much about the fact that NO ONE ever found it weird that bonnie didn't speak to them over the phone for an entire summer. you mean to tell me not ONE of them tried to call her and found it weird they kept getting sent to voicemail? even if they were all busy and doing well why would a bunch of teenagers accept that bonnie was resorting to email to talk to them exclusively for MONTHS. that's absolutely mad bro the writers hated her so bad jesus christ

#like. over a few weeks yeah #but for an ENTIRE summer #and NOBODY found it weird?#even in your WORST faith takes you have to be logical #and ask. hm. would caroline really not call bonnie for an entire summer if she were traveling?#would elena not have anything to say over the phone AT ALL and simply write emails back?#matt is whatever sorry dude #but even if you HATE elena and caroline. like hate them #you have GOT to admit it is weird and unrealistic as fuck they NEVER spoke to her over the phone the entire summer #and didn't find it weird #even if you want to say “oh elena was obsessed with damon” okay well maybe she would've called to obsess about him over the phone?#y'all love saying she doesn't have consideration for what he's done why wouldn't she do it over the phone #i'm FULLY aware they're bad friends to bonnie the longer the series goes on #but the writers.... REAAALLY hate her for NO ONE to notice #even after her FATHER DIED.#LIKE. NO ONE CALLED TO TELL BONNIE ABOUT THAT?#YOU'VE GOTTTT TO BE JOKING #they couldn't come up with ANYTHING better?#bonnie bennett #elena gilbert #caroline forbes #that whole plot......... just nasty work #i can't take it seriously bro #i also think it's wild for jeremy to like. Not Say Shit about her being dead but i don't care about them butchering his character #not as much anyway #if tyler were there he'd notice (i'm being delusional)#(except i'm not. he's a better friend than the rest of them)#anyway. julie and c. dries are going to hell

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thekingofchungus · 2 years

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WHY IS THE TERRYS CHOCOLATE ORANGE OUT OF STOCK

#NOOOOO FUCKING WHYYYYYY #IT WAS IN STOCK TWO WEEKS AGO OR SOMETHING WHAT???#I WAS GONNA HUNT IT DOWN FUCK #OK ITS AT EUROGIANT THOUGH. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME MY FRIEND. PLEASE.#note to self i take sister to eurogiant with me i browse the halloween decorations i buy a terry's chocolate orange #IT BETTER FUCKING BE THERE OKAY.#I WAS. AT BOOTS. BC THATS THE ONLY PLACE THOSE VEGAN GALAXY ORANGE BARS ARE AT BC THEY GOT RECALLED APPARENTLY #EXCEPT NO IT WASNT THERE </333 ITS ON THEIR SITE BUT IT WASN'T THERE OHHHH #AND I WAS LIKE #FUCK. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE VOID #BUT THEN i found out terry's chocolate oranges? yea they dairy but theyre 157 grams of orange choco. vegan galaxy is 100 grams of choco.#and so i went all ''i dont wanna play with you anymore'' and now i NEED a TCO. ( terry's chocolate orange. recommended dosage 20 pieces )#please fucking pray for me on my quest. please.#eurogiant please you've never failed me before dont fail me now #also cadbury's jelly popping candy still needs to be taken into custody.#i have poprocks and a nice chocolate bar i can just have a bite of both if i dont find it BUT IT SAYS ITS IN STOCK. COME ON #chatbox #nom tag #hallohoarding chronicles #if you ask me about my opinions + stories on snacks i have. so fucking many

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inkskinned · 5 months

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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

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pretty-little-mind33 · 4 months

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James Potter x slytherin!fem!reader

Summary: When your "friends" play a dangerously stupid prank on you, James is the last person you'd think would help you.

Genre: Fluff, hurt and comfort <3

Warning: swearing, mentions of being drugged/drunk, violence, mentions of blood, protective!James

When James sees you walk into the classroom with an unusually cheery smile, he can't look away.

"Sirius," he pauses and leans in closer to his friend, "does she look unwell to you?" James whispers, clearly concerned for you. Sirius lets his chin rest on his palms as he looks over at you nonchalantly.

You almost trip on your shoe-laces as you make your way to your desk and you laugh a little too loudly, but only James seems to notice that particular detail.

"Y/l/n? She seems quite happy to me," Sirius's smirk is heard in his voice but James doesn't look amused.

"No, something's wrong. She's usually quiet and she," he doesn't finish his sentence when he sees your friends in the corner of the classroom.

Some of them look as concerned as he is while most hide smiles and snickers behind their hands as they look at you. James's eyes bounce back to you and his frown deepens. Something is wrong. Instantly, he's on his feet.

"Prongs!?" Sirius sounds surprised but it's no use trying to stop him because James is already on his way to you.

Just as you raise your arm to run a hand in your – already annoyed – desk partner's hair, James quickly swoops in and catches your wrist. You pause and when you turn your head to look at him, your smile widens.

"Potter!" you slur.

James can be an idiot sometimes, but he does know you're not drunk. He's never seen you drink. You look dizzy and he comes to the conclusion you must be under the influence of some kind of spell. He looks you over and sees the nasty cut on your knee. Anger bubbles in his stomach as he remembers how your friends somehow found this all incredibly funny.

You tilt your head at him slightly and say, "You have pretty eyes, did you know that?" you smile a smile James usually loves and was never directed at him before, but by now the entire classroom has their eyes on you and, because he knows you would hate all this unnecessary attention, James helps you stand.

You let out a breathy giggle when his hands find your waist and hold you steady.

"What are you doing?" a shrill voice asks from behind him and James clenches his jaw. He turns around. It's one of your friends. She's also in Slytherin and as hard as he tries, James can't remember her name.

"Helping your friend," he says blankly, "She seems a little out of it, doesn't she?"

"She's fine," your friend rolls her and tucks her dark hair behind her ear. "Aren't you, Y/n?" she asks you with a faint smirk.

Your body sways and James's arms move from your waist and swoops around you to hold under your armpits. "I'm okay — y-yeah, I'm okay. I feel better than fine," You mutter, eyelids fluttering slightly as you giggle at his touch.

James isn't at all convinced you're okay.

Your friend's cruel smirk and the mystery of how you've bruised your knee leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"She's bleeding," he states as calmly as he can.

"She's just clumsy."

"She's obviously been hexed or something," James narrows his eyes.

Your friend laughs at his accusatory tone. "What? And you think I did it?"

"Yeah, actually, I do."

At this point, it's obvious you aren't paying attention to their argument as you start to play with James's collar. His cheeks flush pink as your hair skims his chin and the smell of your shampoo fills the air.

"Well if you won't tell me what happened to her, then I'll find out myself," he says and his hand moves to hold yours. "Come on," he whispers sweetly and you let him lead you out of the classroom.

James is extremely careful with you. He makes sure you don't trip in the hallway, or run into any doors and walls, and more importantly he stays with you when the nurse comes to make sure you're okay.

He leans over the hospital bed as his hand hover over your knee as he asks, "What's happened to her?"

"Veritaserum," the nurse says as she presses her palm on your forehead.

"The truth serum?" James is confused. "Doesn't that make someone tell the truth? Why would it make her act so," he turns his head to look at you and conflicting emotions creates what feels like an empty pit in his stomach. You look so beautiful with your eyes blown wide as you glance around the room. "So ditzy?" he finishes in an endeared whisper.

"It isn't uncommon as everyone can have different reactions," The nurse explains as she gently inspects your knee, "I think whoever made this potion must not be particularly skilled."

James clenches his fist around his cloak and tries to remind himself that you probably wouldn't want him to beat up your so-called-friends.

"What's happening to me?" your voice comes out strained as you try and focus on their conversation as you catch on to their confused faces.

"Nothing, honey, you're fine. Your friend was worried and he,"

You interrupt her, "James Potter? Oh, he isn't my friend." You look up at James and his smile disappears. He's embarrassed as he searches your face for any indication that you're joking but clearly you aren't because you ask him. "Potter, do you even know my name?" You sound serious.

James hesitates to answer, "Of course I know your name, Y/n," he finally admits.

He doesn't expect your eyes to light up but they do and you turn to the nurse, "He does know my name," you whisper with a smile.

James's heart swells at how happy you seem and he smirks a little. Amused, the nurse lets you continue, "You'know," you lean in closer and mutter just loud enough for James to hear without you knowing, "I really like him."

Surprised, his heart jumps and the nurse panics as he quickly shuts you up. "Alright honey, let's clean up this nasty little wound and then wait for the potion to pass, ok?" you nod and focus on her as she waves her wand across your knee and the cut disappears.

Once she's done, the nurse turns to James and says, "I know you must be curious, Potter, but I think Y/l/n should be alone while she recovers," the nurse turns to you again and looks at you sympathetically.

"He can stay!" you insist, "I want him to stay."

James looks into your eyes and he wonders how he can even think of disappointing you.

But, when he looks at the nurse again his heart sinks. He can't stay, he knows he can't. It would be unfair. You deserve to keep your secrets — all those feelings you wouldn't share with him normally — hidden away in your pretty little head.

James knows he can't take those away from you so he nods, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and sends you a lopsided smile. "I'll see you around, mmh?"

He leaves before he can focus on the way you called his name because if he does, he knows he'd feel compelled to rush back in and stay by your side. On his way back to the classroom, he can't help but smile as he remembers your words. Only, his smile disappears the moment he hears your friends in the hallway.

James stops in front of them and they do the same. The girl from earlier crosses her arms. "What's your issue, Potter?" she snarls, "Where's Y/n?"

James refuses to answer her question. "You gave her the Veritaserum, didn't you?" he accuses and some of your friend's squirm guiltily. The dark-haired girl just smirks.

"So what if we did? She isn't dying, is she? It was funny," she turns to your other friends with a grin and they nod meekly. "You should have seen her stumbling around, she wasn't even fazed when she fell and scraped her knee on the cobblestones. It was hilarious," she continues.

James's face burns from the points of his ears to his cheeks. "Hilarious?!" he repeats, his voice stern, "What kind of friends find it funny when their friend hurts themselves? She didn't know about the Veritaserum, did she?"

The girl shakes her head but one of your other friends interrupts. He's a tall, lanky Slytherin with icy blue eyes and vibrant auburn hair.

"Of course she didn't know, Potter. It wouldn't be as fun if she did. I would think you would understand," he admits with a grin.

James's hands shake as he stares at your friend rambling. The boy only chuckles and turns to his friends, amused, as he taunts, "Slipped the potion in her drink myself this morning."

He doesn't finish his sentence as James punches him. He stumbles back into the girls, cupping his hands around his nose, as they shriek in surprise. James shakes his hand out a little and narrows his eyes. "You don't spike someone's drink, asshole. And don't fucking insinuate I would ever do something like that to anyone!"

"What the fuck? Why do you even care?" The boy hisses as one girl holds his shoulder and tends to him. "You're crazy."

And sure, maybe James was crazy but he won't tolerate someone hurting you.

Ever.

* * *

"James, just give the poor girl some space," Remus sighs as he tries to concentrate on his essay. "She's gone through enough these last few days. Haven't you heard the rumors going around? They're brutal."

James resists the scream that bubbles in his throat. "I know. I know. I just want to be there for her," he whines and Sirius wraps his arm around his shoulder.

"You'll just make things worse," Sirius says, "Last rumor I heard is that she faked it all for your attention."

James clenches his jaw. "How would I make this worse? It's all so fucking cruel, Pads. She's all alone," his heart has been slowly breaking whenever he thinks of you sobbing in your dorm or sitting alone during your classes and meals.

He shuts his eyes a moment and then sits up abruptly and says, "I know what to do."

Remus looks up and with a worried expression, his eyes widen. "Prongs," he starts but James is already standing. "Sirius! Don't let him leave!" Remus insists but it's too late because their friend is already out the Common Room door.

When James enters the Great Hall, he pauses and searches for you. He sees you sitting alone and he becomes so angry he can't think normally.

He storms up to the Slytherin table and jumps on top of it. Some cutlery and food falls to the floor and students turn their heads. James just clears his throat, making a show as he stumbles on his feet.

If everyone wants to gossip about something, they can gossip about this.

With a grin, he spreads his arms and shouts, "Can I have everyone's attention?" The Great Hall turns silent and James struts down the table until he's much closer to you. You feel your cheeks heat up and you hold your breath.

Remus and Sirius run into the Great Hall, calling James's name but it's too late because James is now standing in front of you as he holds out his hand. "Y/n, will you go out with me?" He asks, his voice loud and calm.

Whispers break out as your heart thumps in your chest. You look into James's eyes, searching them and when you reluctantly take his hand he nods a little and pulls you up onto the table with him.

Quickly, he pulls you closer and then whispers in your ear, "Say no. Trust me."

Your frown deepens but the words leave you without thinking, "No?"

James smirks and just subtle enough for no one to see, he kisses your cheek and pulls you away from him. Dramatically, he stumbles backwards and covers his heart. "Ow, you're killing me here, love. What will I do without you?"

If you didn't know he had just asked you to reject him, you would think he sounds genuinely hurt. As he stumbles, he trips on someone's glass and with a loud crash, he falls to the ground.

Students gasp loudly and so do you as you cover your mouth with your hands and rush to the edge of the table and peer down at him. When you see him sitting on the ground he suddenly blows a kiss up to you, a small paper bird flutters up to you and then turns into rose petals.

Your eyes widen and you can't help but laugh when James continues to make a scene and the petals fall in your hair. "You're breaking my heart, darling. Criminal," James whispers and winks dramatically.

"James Potter, detention. Now," McGonagall's voice booms and when James sees you hide a smile behind your hand, he smiles too.

A while later, as James sweeps up McGonagall's classroom floor, all he can think of is your happy smile.

"James?" Your voice interrupts his memory and he jumps a little, turning towards the door. You stand in the doorway, a flustered look on your face as you hesitate to come inside. James drops the broom and rushes over to you.

His knuckles hover over your cheek as he says, "Y/n, are you okay?"

Your eyes widen and you touch his hand. Gently, you pull it down to his side again as you whisper and ask, "What was that all about?"

James searches your face for anger. "I wanted to take the embarrassment off of you. You don't deserve anything that's been happening to you, love. None of it is your fault."

You look at him more seriously. "Yeah, it's been a little hard but I can handle the teasing. You shouldn't have done that," you say and James's heart clenches in his chest.

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Y/n. I just wanted,"

You interrupt him, "No. I mean you shouldn't have asked me to say no," you pause and look up at him, "unless, you don't actually want to go out with me. But, I know you know how I feel about you and I,"

Your sentence dies and you don't know what else to say.

James's expression softens. You look up at him, almost pleading with him, "Please don't make me repeat what I said in the Hospital Wing. It's so embarrassing, and I know you heard me. I wasn't exactly quiet."

James smirks. "When you said you like me?" he holds up his finger and pretends to ponder, "No I'm sorry, you really like me," his smile widens as he looks at you. You feel warmth in your cheeks and look away.

"Yeah, that."

"Well, I really like you too."

Your eyes widen and you look up at him. James uses his thumb to lift your chin. You realize how close your body is to his and your breath hitches in your throat. James's hand moves to your cheek, caressing it softly as you whisper, "You do?"

James lets out a breathy chuckle. "Of course I do. You're beautiful, kind, incredibly smart it's annoying," his eyes are full of admiration, "What's there not to like, darlin'?"

You frown, glancing quickly at the emblem stitched onto my robes and then you look at him again. "But, I'm a Slytherin. I didn't even think you ever knew who I was until last week. We've never really talked."

James's smile falters and his thumb moves behind your ear as he holds your cheek. "That's my fault. I should have said something sooner but with my reputation and all," he looks away, his face twisted in shame, "I didn't want to scare you away."

You see the sincerity in his eyes but ask wearily, "So it doesn't bother you?"

"That you're in Slytherin?" James smiles a little. "No, it doesn't, love. I don't care. I've seen how you are and I think you're absolutely lovely," he catches himself, "I mean, I'm not saying Slytherin's aren't lovely,"

You shut him up with a kiss. It's confident and startling but James doesn't complain. He simply pulls you in closer and lets his mouth explore yours with a passion he didn't know he had. He didn't know how starved he was of your taste until now.

Fuck, he's fucked.

You pull away, lips wet and stare at him. "Sorry," you mutter.

"Sorry?" James frowns and leans in to kiss you again, "Don't you dare be sorry. Just kiss me," his words leave you a mush in his arms and you're happy for his hand around your back because otherwise you would fall over.

When he finally disconnects your lips, he leans his forehead on yours and whispers what he'd been thinking, "You'll kill me, love."

You smile and hold his arm. "Thanks for saving me by the way, when I was under the potion," you say.

James leans away and studies your soft expression with a small smile. "I'd be an asshole not to help you. I didn't want to see you get hurt."

"Still, if you hadn't seen that something was wrong I don't know what would have happened."

"Nothing would have happened because I was there," James insists and kisses your forehead, "I'll always be there." He adds in a whisper into your hair.

It's only for him to hear. He doesn't want to just tell you he's there for you, instead he wants to show you. Everyday.

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kaaaaaaarf · 6 months

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So I watched that episode of Our Flag Means Death where Ed finds the bunny and thinks it's a wolf and thought, what if Remus was a wererabbit and Sirius had no idea? Anyways, have a drabble.

Here I Am (a rabbit-hearted boy)

Hogwarts Era. 654 words. Wererabbit Remus. G.

Remus' floppy ears twitch unhappily. He had been so careful—so careful not to let his friends see the monster he becomes every full moon. He thought he was sneaky, when he made his way out of the castle before dinner—after the other boys had already left for the Great Hall, but here is Sirius, standing above him with wide eyes. He'd seen the whole thing, the whole transformation—running into the clearing before Remus could even shout at him to stop. Before his body bent and twisted violently into a monster. Remus' tiny body shakes in fear. Finally, after an impossibly long moment, Sirius seems to come back to himself. "R—Remus? Are you—you're a werewolf?" …I'm a what now?

"I thought maybe you were upset about Snape ruining your Potions final when you didn’t follow us down to dinner, so I came back to find you and saw you sneak out of the castle. I decided to follow you, but I didn't think...Oh my God. You're so...so...cute." Remus' nose twitches in a way that he thinks sufficiently expresses his shock and distaste. He’s not cute. He’s fearsome! An abomination! Sirius, unafraid, crouches down and strokes a gentle hand over the tawny fur on his back. Okay, well Remus doesn't hate that. Sirius scratches behind one floppy ear, and it makes Remus’ back foot twitch. Sirius smiles. "Are you a friend, wolf? Merlin, wait til I tell James about this! Our Moony—a real bloody werewolf!" and then as quickly as he’d appeared, he's gone, running off back toward the castle. It's just as well, Remus is dangerous like this. As much as he would love some company on the moons, one bite is all it would take and he could turn Sirius, too. He couldn't live with himself. Remus has just finished snacking on some grass, and is just about to hop into the underbrush to play chase with the rabbits of the Forest, when Sirius comes running back, this time with James in tow. Great. "See James! That's Remus, he's a werewolf!" James, who is bent over trying to catch his breath, looks up at him like he's stupid. "That's a rabbit, Sirius." "No...I saw him transform—that’s Remus. He's a werewolf." "At best that's a wererabbit." He looks down at Remus, his face twisted in thought. "Sorry Remus, just a sec. Sirius—" he looks back up at the other boy, pinching the bridge of his nose. “—have you ever actually seen a rabbit before?" "Well, not precisely...Grimmauld is in the middle of London, not exactly teeming with rabbits and the like." "Babbity Rabbity? Surely you've read Babbity Rabbity at least." "I'm pretty sure Babbity Rabbity would never make it into the Black family library. Not macabre enough." James sighs. "Okay well, I’m telling you that's a rabbit." James points down at him, and Remus twitches his nose, hoping it conveys how tired he is. Sirius stomps his feet, insistent. “But his last name is Lupin, not Lapin! He's Wolfie McWolf, not Bunny McRabbit!” “I’m pretty sure his name has nothing to do with which were-animal decided to take a chunk out of him, Sirius!” Remus tries to hop away while they’re fighting, but Sirius spots him and scoops him up into his arms. “Oh no you don’t! Come on Remus, I’ll sneak you back into the castle—get you something to munch on. What do rabbits eat, anyway? Hay? Flowers?” Human flesh. “They eat grass and, like, carrots. Good call though, better get him inside before an actual wolf spots him. Come on, Remus.” And that’s how Remus finds himself, a few hours later, in a soft bed, snuggled under the covers with Sirius’ hand gently resting on his furry back. He supposes being found out isn’t so bad, and if he wakes up in the morning—human again, Sirius spooning against his back, he thinks that might actually be even better.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #marauders #remus is a wererabbit #wolfstar microfic #fic: Here I Am (a rabbit-hearted boy)#hogwarts era

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gracieheartspedro · 6 months

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Who We Are

pairing: fem!reader x dbf!joel miller

description: when your father falls ill, his patrol partner and best friend, joel miller finds a way to aid in his recovery. but this solution is complicated and requires you to take on a week-long hunt for supplies and resources. being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in evenutally.

word count: 17k words. this one is a LONG ONE. get a snack.

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, age gap (reader is in her 30s, joel is in his mid 50s), i don't describe the reader all that much, consumption of alcohol, illness that requires medical intervention, blood, guns, killing of infected, forced proximity, joel is kinda pervy?, talks of loss of family members, joel lies about his past, oral (f receiving), face sitting, unprotected p in v, overstimulation, dirty talk, creampie, after care.

author's note: ... hi folks! this one is a long one, so like I said, grab a snack and get comfy! I was going to make this multiple parts but I'm eager and unhinged. to be honest, this story is better as one big one shot anyway. I had a very intense time editing so I know I probably missed some things. I may write little branch off stories if you guys enjoy it enough. anyway, enjoy! <3 lemme know what you think!

“Didn’t know you were workin’ tonight, darlin’,” Your father’s Southern drawl brings you out of your daze. You had been cleaning glasses for the last hour and a half. Surprisingly, the Tipsy Bison wasn’t busy on a Wednesday night. You had been keeping busy by cleaning and serving two visitors.

You look up, noticing your father and his patrol partner wander into the bar. They find a seat at the bar, right in front of you as you dry some whiskey glasses.

“I work every night this week, Pops,” You mutter, turning back to the liquor bottles to grab his favorite bourbon. You knew exactly what he came here for. He wanted to pester you on your shift and watch you write under his partner’s gaze. He thought your little crush was entertaining. You have made comments to your dad in the past about how you thought Joel was nice to look at and your Dad would just laugh. He would jokingly wiggle his finger at you and tell you to find someone your age.

Little do you and your father know, Joel feels similarly about you. The first moment he saw you, he thought about how if he was a young buck, he’d lock you down as soon as he could. The age held him back initially, never even entertaining your subtle glances or welcoming smiles. Then when he realized who your father was, he immediately shut down all thoughts like that in his head. You were strictly off-limits.

“Well good, keeps you busy.”

You did not enjoy the idea of working every weeknight with a bunch of drunks, but this job was a bit better than constantly shoveling horse shit. Instead, you got to mingle with the locals. Maybe find yourself a man, since you were in your early thirties and unmarried.

Joel loved coming to the Bison when you were here. It meant he got to drink a whiskey neat and watch you twirl and rush around the bar. Tonight was slower, though, so he got the privilege of speaking with you, which was rare.

You pour your Dad his bourbon, finally glancing up at his partner who’s practically ogling at you. You made a conscious effort to avoid his piercing brown eyes.

Joel Miller was a dream boat, god damn. Every time he glanced in your direction, you would freeze up and stutter out a very jumbled “hello”. He was quite guarded, never much to talk. When he did finally speak, you found yourself reeling over his deep voice.

“Whatcha want, Mr. Miller?”

His lips twinged, his eyes flicking up to yours. He loves hearing you say that, he thinks to himself. You hand off the bourbon to your Dad, waiting for a response.

“Whatever he’s having is fine, sweetheart,” He says plainly, nodding toward the half-empty bottle. Your knees could buckle at the nickname, but you keep your composure. You can’t crumble that easily.

You three slide into a conversation about their patrolling, what they found that day, and the game plan for tomorrow. You make a sly comment about how they needed to find some meaning in life other than patrol. Your dad laughs, and Joel just stares blankly at you. You instantly want to take back the comment and never speak again, ever. Instead, you just continue drying the glasses you just washed.

When your dad finished his bourbon, you noticed his expression change from relaxed to pained.

“You okay there?” You ask, grabbing his glass and placing it in the sink below the counter. He rubs his chest, letting out a deep guttural cough. Joel looks perplexed while you get closer and notice the blood splattering into your dad’s palm.

“It’s nothing, just a cough,” He manages to say, his voice hoarse. You scan his face, knowing immediately that he’s lying.

“Bullshit, you’re coughing up blood,” You reach towards some towels, tossing them on the counter in front of him, “You should probably go get checked out, Dad.”

Joel quips, “Yeah, don’t need you getting sick when we are out tomorrow. Why don’t you stop by the infirmary before you go home?”

Your Dad just shakes his head, “You two are being dramatic. It’s nothing, I promise.”

Your Dad was known for downplaying his pain and sicknesses. You remember being a little girl traveling with him across the country and every time he got hurt, he’d just suck it up. He shattered his left pinky years ago and he resolved to just chop it off. So that’s what he did. He was lucky it never got infected. But he was known just to blow off all his ailments, reminding you he’s beat all the other odds.

So instead of fighting with him, you just nod all the while, stealing a long glance at Joel. He’s finishing his drink and you can’t help but watch his neck. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and you fixate on it for a bit too long.

You’re brought out of the trance when he slams the glass down, his dark brown eyes drooping. Joel always looked tired, but you knew after the day they had, he was actually tired.

You had a couple more hours at the Bison before you had to close up, so you bid them a farewell, reminding your Dad that you’d be home before he stumbles off to bed. He never slept much, he would just read in the living room until you got home usually.

Joel waves you a farewell, thanking you quietly for the drink.

“Don’t be a stranger,” You say as he turns his back to you to head for the door. He turns a bit, giving you a slight smirk as he reaches for the door.

You spend the rest of your shift daydreaming about what it’d be like to be with a man. You spent most of your time in Jackson without giving much of the men your age a thought. More than half were taken, anyway. While you let your mind wander, you realize your imagination is placing Joel in the spot of all the made-up situations with this said man.

You lock the bar door behind you, tugging on it to ensure it’s snug in the latch. The air was shifting, the cool warm summer turning into a slightly chilly fall. You wore a long sleeve today, luckily, or else you’d be shivering on your way home. The walk home wasn’t a long one.

When you reach your front door, you realize the living room light is on. Dad’s awake.

But as you reach to turn the knob, you hear ghastly breathing from the other side. When you swing the door open, you see your Dad in his recliner, his hand over his chest. He’s dry heaving, trying to get out a cough.

“Hey, hey,” You quickly race to his side, “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

He breathes in deeply, “I just can’t seem to catch my breath. Something isn’t right.”

You have never seen him so panicked. You nod, understanding that your next step is to get him to the infirmary. He should have gone on his way home. You didn’t know if anyone would be there and you surely didn’t know if they would be able to treat his symptoms.

“Are you in pain?” You ask, grabbing under his arms to lift him out of his chair. He’s wobbly, so you keep your hand under his armpit and use your other free arm to balance him. He shakes his head.

“Just weak.”

Your heart sinks. Never in your life has your father admitted to feeling weak or sick. It was like as soon as he got home, his body just gave out. You help him into his shoes and start your trek back towards the middle of town. You wish you didn’t have to walk him so far because it felt like with every 5 feet, his lungs were giving out and sending him into a coughing fit. You probably woke the entire town trudging him through the streets. When you get to the front step of the infirmary, you knock as loud as you can. Usually, they had an overnight shift nurse helping, having them watch over whoever was dragged there during the day. Dispensing medicine if need be. You knew a couple of the nurses, most of them your age or a bit older.

When a familiar face opens the door, you feel a sense of relief.

“Hey Sidney,” You greet her, sort of pushing your Dad into the room, still keeping your hands wrapped around his center, “Something’s wrong with Pops.”

She reaches out to help you with him, “Oh no, what’s going on?”

“Can hardly breathe,” Is all he can muster out. You look at Sidney, concern spread across your face. She nods, knowingly.

Sidney was one of the nurses you trusted the most. She gave you stitches when you sliced your hand open on a glass bottle a couple of weeks ago. She was patient and gentle, always checking to see if you were doing alright as she sewed your skin together. She’s a former Firefly, probably in her 40s. She got trained by some doctors years ago so she knew a decent amount about all sorts of medical treatment.

She takes hold of the situation completely, grabbing your Dad and walking him to a free bed near the door. She gets him to lie down and she starts scrambling for some supplies to do a quick once over of him. He looks pale and for some reason, very small, in the hospital bed.

“It’s gonna be alright,” You say, poking his arm. You say it for him, but you mainly say it for yourself. He closes his eyes and nods.

“Always is, kiddo.”

The news was not ideal. After observation and some tests, Sidney decided your father probably has pneumonia. The problem was, that Jackson was low on antibiotics and they would have to decide if your Dad’s case was urgent enough to give him some.

It pissed you off, but you had to hold back your anger. This situation was out of Sidney’s control, but you knew exactly who to raise your voice to. Sadly, the city council was asleep in their beds, as it was 4 a.m. Sidney reassured you that she would ensure your father was looked after until the morning when they could discuss with everyone if it would be okay to give him some of the highly sought-after antibiotics.

But for now, you should get some rest.

Your father fussed at you while he was in and out of sleep, telling you that you needed to go home and sleep. Your body was plagued with exhaustion and your brain was hardly functioning. You would need to plead a good case, so even a couple of hours of sleep would do you good. You ask if you could occupy a bed nearby and Sidney agrees with a sympathetic smile. You curl up, trying to clear your brain of your racing thoughts.

You can’t lose your father, he’s all you have.

You need to remind the council of all your father does.

You need him to get better.

You need him.

“We only have 4 vials of antibiotics,” Maria states, trying not to look you in the eyes. She feels horrible, but she knows deep down the rest of the council will probably reject your father using any. It was going to be a tough decision like this that made most of the people in the council think they were playing God, but it was real life. Would they give your 60-something-year-old father antibiotics for pneumonia or give it to a young child suffering from an infection? They had to think ahead and supplies were scarce.

You cross your arms, waiting for the next shoe to drop. “And?”

Tommy stands up, knowing you will not like the next sentence. He practically guards Maria with his broad frame. He resembled Joel, with his dark hair and stern eyes. His were a bit softer.

“We are low on resources, hun. We need to think ahead and ensure that the pros outweigh the cons of giving him one of those vials. You understand?”

“Why was this not a thought in the summer? When it was a good time to go seek some out? I just don’t under-”

“We had that sickness going around over the summer. Lots of people getting fevers. Before we knew it, Dr. Peters realized we were low. I had intentions to get out and try to find more, and trade with some people, but we just haven’t discussed it all yet. There’s a process. It was in the works.”

Your blood is boiling and your patience running out. Each second of arguing was another second your Dad could be closer to death.

“Well, it’s a shitty fuckin’ process. Where can I go to get more, then? Is there another community we can trade with? A hospital we can scavenge? You guys can’t expect me to sit around and wait for him to get worse.”

Maria looks to Tommy, trying to wrack her brain for a response. Tommy’s lip twitches, knowing exactly what to say. He did not want you to do it, but he knew how you were. You’d do anything for your family.

“There’s a hospital in Salt Lake that I’ve heard is practically untouched. Fireflies used to reside there and do tests. They probably left behind some supplies.”

You narrow your eyes, “Salt Lake? Isn’t that a whole week away?”

You start to pace the room, trying to console yourself. You can’t just leave for that long and assume that everyone will take care of your Dad. Tommy places his hands on his hips, trying to figure out a resolution. He liked your Dad, always going to him if he needed help around the commune. Your Dad is always one to offer a helping hand and give solid advice. He didn’t want to watch him die, either.

“How about this,” Tommy huffs, “How about we give him one of our vials and you and Joel head out to Salt Lake to scavenge that hospital? If we are right in our assumptions, there’s probably a lot of resources there. And Joel’s been there before.”

“Why are you roping Joel into this?” You press, crossing your arms.

“Joel knows where to go. He can get you there in one piece.”

“Where am I going,” Joel’s presence takes you by surprise. You turn back at the front door of the infirmary, seeing Joel’s disheveled hair sticking up in every direction. He had red cheeks, probably from the jog he did to get there. As soon as he heard about your father, he booked it from the stables to his side.

Tommy shoots Joel a knowing look, “You and her are gonna go back to Salt Lake. You think they have antibiotics at that hospital you took Ellie to?”

Joel’s visceral reaction sends you. His heart practically stopped when Tommy brought up the hospital.

You start to sweat when he does, realizing you would have to travel that far with Joel Miller.

He swallows, shifting his weight to his other leg. “Probably. Why can’t ya just give him what we have?”

Maria shakes her head at his response, “We have a long winter ahead of us, Joel. We have four vials left. This saves us from a council meeting where they shoot down everything. They won’t approve it. If I reassure them that you are going to get some more, they won’t mind if we give him one.”

He huffs, scratching his chin in contemplation. You knew this would not be ideal for him, but you’re willing to do anything, even if you had to do it alone. The four of you stand in silence while Joel wracks his brain for an excuse to say no. None comes to him.

It’s not that he did not want to help you, he just does not want to relive some trauma with you by his side. He would have to swallow back all his emotions, all the while you would be posted up right next to him. He does not want you to see him falter under pressure.

“She can’t go alone, Joel,” Tommy quips, gesturing towards you. You were shaking, your body reacting before your brain even could. Your nerves were shot.

He shakes his head, “And if they don’t have the supplies?”

You didn’t even think that far.

“They will,” Tommy says, matter-of-factly, “It’s our best bet. The Fireflies disbanded, there has to be stuff left behind.”

You don’t know how Tommy knows all this, but he must have good sources to know all these things. Joel nods at him, accepting his response. He looks back at you, trying to figure out how you feel about the proposition by reading your face.

“Does that work for you?” His deep voice isn’t meant to be intimidating, but you flinch anyway at the question.

“I don’t have much of a choice. My Dad needs the medicine. If you guys think we can make it there and back in one piece, I’ll do it.”

“We will leave tomorrow morning. In the meantime,” Joel waves over Sidney, who’s still sitting by your sleeping and dazed father, “Give him one of those vials.”

Joel sacrificing his time and effort for your father was unfathomable to you. Sure, Joel was a great friend of your Dad’s, but he truly didn’t owe you two anything. It made you enamored with him even more.

As the day shifted into the evening, you sat by your Dad’s bed and waited for the antibiotics to kick in. His body needed rest, you knew that much because he slept more than he probably ever had in his lifetime.

He was sweating out a fever, so every so often you’d pat his head with a cold rag. He would mumble a quiet “thank you” and then return to snoring. As the sun sets, you welcome Sidney back for her night shift. She checked your Dad’s vitals, telling you his lungs are already sounding a bit better. You stretch and yawn, cracking every bone in your body while you do. You were stuck in the same position for so long, elbows on your knees, your chin propped up by your hands.

You had a long trip ahead of you, and you couldn’t lie, you were scared half to death. You did not want to come back and find your father dead. You were also terrified about going back outside of Jackson. You spent most of your last 20 years living in the wild and shitty QZ’s. You were always on edge out there, and then you found Jackson. Ever since then, life has been a little more hopeful. You were able to form relationships and have some simple enjoyment, after all this time.

Your Dad finally wakes up when you start stirring more. His one eye opens first which makes you crack a smile.

“Mornin’ Pops,” You joke, grabbing his warm hand, “That antibiotic should start working soon. You’ll be better in no time.”

“Yeah,” He croaks, “But I heard you’re going somewhere.”

You bite your lip, afraid to stress him out. You knew he would worry about you, he always did.

“Yeah, me and Joel are going to get more supplies. Nothing too drastic,” You lie, brushing your thumb over his scarred knuckles, “You trust Joel enough to take care of me?”

It was the first time he laughed in the last 24 hours, “Course he will. He knows how much you mean to me. If he fucks up, he will get a load of me, that’s for sure.”

His voice was reassuring to hear, especially since he’s joking with you.

“Okay, I believe you,” You mutter, “We leave tomorrow morning, so I need you to be good and get all the rest you can. I want you up and moving when I get back, you hear me?”

“Roger that, kiddo.”

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Your tone is sarcastic and Joel can tell. You did not expect to be stuck with Joel Miller alone for a week, especially outside the walls.

He clears his throat as he finishes packing up his horse.

“Mornin’,” He grumbles, patting his horse’s mane, “Let’s get you all set up. You’ll be takin’ your Dad’s horse, Ranger. He is already saddled up, just need to get your stuff on there.”

Luckily, you packed light. You brought a couple of changes of clothes, some food, some camping gear, and of course, your gun.

Joel helps you tie down your bag and ensures all the straps he just put on are tight enough for you. You just watch him, enjoying how just takes control of the situation. He had the father instinct, always making sure everything would be safe and secure for the girls he loved. Or liked. Whatever.

You thank him, grabbing onto the saddle and flinging yourself up onto the horse. Ranger was truly your favorite horse in all of Jackson. He was the best behaved and the biggest. His mane was long and black and he loved to be brushed. You spent a lot of evenings riding him for fun, just enjoying his company.

Joel gets on his horse, adjusting how he sits before he takes the reigns and guides you towards the main gates of Jackson.

“You still sure you’re ready for a run like this?”

He’s giving you a chance to back out. But this was now an obligation. If you didn’t do this, you would indebted to everyone. You would be the person to blame if someone’s loved one died. Not really, but you felt that guilt.

“Readier than I’ll ever be, Joel.”

“How is Ellie doing?”

You were burning to make conversation. You needed to rid your mind of all the anxiety surrounding your own life. Joel was too quiet, it made you feel queasy. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts. You were about 20 miles outside of Jackson, the sun was coming up through the foliage.

He inhales sharply, “She’s a teenage girl. She’s grumpy.”

You grip onto the reigns of your horse, your body swaying back and forth with the trot.

“I remember being that young and being constantly annoyed by my Dad’s nagging,” You chuckle, remembering the days of angst, “Are you annoying her, Joel?”

Joel scrunches his face at such allegations. If anything, Ellie was annoying him.

“Course I’m not! Just… want to make sure she’s doing good. Which she is. Everyone tells me ‘bout how helpful she is.”

You think back to the last interaction you had with Ellie. She had been helping out at the stables when you were in charge of feeding and cleaning the horses before you got the job at the Tipsy Bison. Ellie wanted to know everything you knew, pestering you with silly questions like what their names were and why they were named what they were.

“She’s very helpful,” You acknowledge, thinking about how enthusiastic she always was about learning, “You raised her right.”

He huffs, “Was hardly me. She’s just smart and raised herself.”

You did not quite understand the history between Joel and Ellie, but you knew Joel was not her biological father. You had no clue how they found each other or when. But you could see the love Joel had for Ellie. You remember him lighting up when he explained to you and your dad how she was the best shot amongst the recruits.

Joel will probably never indulge you in the specifics of his relationship with Ellie, simply because it’s complicated. He never felt the need to explain himself to anyone but Tommy.

“You had a hand in some of it, Joel. Give yourself a little credit.”

But Joel was never good at that. He was hard on himself, weary to accredit any of Ellie’s behavior to himself.

The rest of the ride was occupied with the sound of leaves rustling. Joel spots a fallen tree that he says would be a good eating spot. You agree, hopping down off your horse with ease. You tie his reins up on a nearby branch and start digging through your saddle bag for the apple you packed for yourself. You were sick with unease all day. With everything going on in your life, the last thing on your mind was hunger. Plus, you were alone with a man that you had to put all your trust in.

You pop a squat on the chipping bark and get out your pocket knife to start cutting the red fruit. Joel gets out a bag of jerky from his pack and finds a spot next to you. He looks over at you, perplexed at your food choice.

“Just some fruit?” Joel interrogates, instantly knowing your hunger cannot be satiated by apples. No one can be satisfied with only fruit.

Your stomach churns at your first bite, “Just not that hungry.”

That’s all the explanation he needs. You watch as he starts to munch on his bagged meat, cringing at the sound of his mouth. You try to block it out, but it’s eating away at your brain. You hated the sound of chewing, it was such a stupid pet peeve, but you couldn’t help yourself. Joel is oblivious, probably not even hearing how loud he’s being. You smack his arm out of instinct, something you did to your dad when he was being too obnoxious.

He looks down at you with furrowed brows and annoyed eyes.

“You’re eating too loud,” You say, wanting to smack yourself at how stupid it sounds out loud.

He looks away, completely flabbergasted at the reaction. “Eating too loud? Really?”

You feel embarrassed for letting your brain get the best of you. So you just cut more of your apple off and slowly crunch on it. You try your best not to hyper-fixate on your chewing. When you’re in a trance, lost in your thoughts, Joel nudges you back. He’s getting you back, now.

“Now you’re chewing too loud,” He jokes, popping another piece of his jerky in his mouth, “Should probably keep it down. So loud you may attract some infected.”

You can’t help but smile at his stupid rebuttal. You give him props for making you feel less foolish.

“Sorry,” you mumble, eating another slice intentionally loud, “Can’t help myself. They are just so crunchy.”

You hear him giggle, his smile easing your churning stomach.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll forgive you this one time.”

You knew the ride to this hospital would be long, but you didn’t realize how barren the landscape would be. You also didn’t realize how bad your ass would hurt. You and Joel finally pull off into some woods when the sun starts to set. Joel acts like he knows exactly how to navigate the woods, guiding his horse deeper and deeper. In between some large trees, you spot a lake.

“Wanna go swimming?” You question after hours of no conversation. He glances back at you with a sly smirk on his face. When you look to your right, you notice a small path. Joel clicks his tongue for his horse to follow it. You two trot through the leaves, before coming upon a small decrepted cabin.

“This is us,” He states as he halts his horse.

He had secretly always pictured taking you out here. He could not help but insert you into his small fantasies. Some nights he would imagine what it would be like to have you stick by his side forever. He always felt guilty afterward.

You look at the building in wonder, completely speechless. You assumed you would be camping on the forest floor, not in an intimate cabin by a lake. You swing your leg over and slide off your saddle. Joel starts to tie up his horse nearby and you follow suit. You continue to look at the cabin, curious as to who kept up with it. It looked well maintained, besides some cobwebs at the peak of the roof.

“Is this yours?”

He shakes his head, “No. Technically Tommy’s. He goes this way to get to another settlement about 50 miles south. He found this place on a whim and cleaned it up.”

You look around the area, seeing there’s even a fire pit right by the water. It had chairs and stones to outline the charred wood. You could not help but imagine what this place was before Tommy found it. How many fun nights were probably spent here by the original owner? If you had no one to go back to, you would just live here. But the more you think about that scenario, you think about how lonely you would probably get. Maybe if you had someone to stay with you.

You finally look back at Joel. He’s standing on the stone path with his eyes locked on you. You get self-conscious for a moment, realizing he probably noticed how entranced you were with the surroundings.

That’s exactly what he was thinking, too. How beautiful you stood in the shadows of the trees, your eyes curiously glancing around like a kid in a candy shop. You had him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it.

“You good if we stay here overnight? Get back on the road tomorrow?”

How could you ever say no to an offer like that?

You nod, swallowing back your insecurity, “Yeah, for sure.”

Joel could build a good fire. Watching him gather all the wood and place them into a perfect formation. As soon as he lights it, it builds and builds. When the warmth envelopes you, you start to finally feel at ease. Joel sits down with a stick, nudging the fire every so often.

He felt guilty. He felt like he was betraying your father, a man who was trusting him with his daughter. He should not be imagining how a little life in the woods would look like with you. He should not be picturing how beautiful you would look underneath him. He should not be having these devious thoughts about you. His eyes are trained on the flames as they build, trying to push those daydreams away.

When his sleeve lifts as he toys with the charred wood, you notice the watch on his wrist. It looks ancient, the face of it shattered. You don’t realize you’re staring at it until he snatches his hand away from your view.

“Sorry,” You retract, sitting further into the chair, “Your watch is broken.”

He places the stick next to his foot, finally out of his head for a moment, “Yeah, I’m aware.”

You were so stupid. You know not to pry further, knowing there’s probably a story and you don’t feel like you’re at a stage with Joel Miller to dive deeper. He notices how small you making yourself, and it makes him feel bad. He never wants to make you insecure.

“Your necklace,” He starts, trying to place your mind somewhere else. It was a feature on your body that he noticed ages ago, but he never tried to beg the question, so this seemed like a great time to move the subject along. “Is it a moon?”

You reach up to your throat, feeling for the necklace you never took off. It feels like he almost wants to see if you will spill your story first. He is bad at reading women, sometimes. Most of the time.

“Yeah, it was my sister’s.”

He feels stupid, instantaneously. As soon as those words fell from your lips, he put his face in his hands.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Your feelings towards what happened 20 years ago were drastically different than how you feel now. You could still feel the horror and the pain you felt, but it wasn’t so gut-wrenching anymore. It honestly doesn’t even feel like it happened to you.

You drop the crescent moon charm from your hands, “No, it’s okay. She died on outbreak day. She was a bit older than me, her name was Reagan.”

He looks up at you and just nods, taking in the information. You don’t know if it’s a gesture for you to continue to talk, but you take it as just that.

“Her and my mom were at one of her soccer games when all hell broke loose. From what I heard, she was bit by one of her teammates and when me and my Dad were packing up our things to get out of there, I grabbed some of her stuff. A necklace, a sweatshirt, and her favorite pair of sneakers. I don’t know why. But yeah, this necklace is the only thing that survived 20 years. Sweatshirt got too small, shoes got too torn up.”

You don’t even notice the tears pricking in your eyes until you blink. You don’t even remember what she looks like, her face is kind of jumbled in your memory. You remember her hair though, long and brown and super curly. Joel just listens, his eyes trained on your hands as you nervously rub them together. When you peer up at him, you see the mutual pain written on his face.

He thinks to his beautiful Sarah. His eyes fall to his broken watch. The pain is still very palpable.

“‘m glad we have somethin’ from our people. Somethin’ to remember them by, ya’ know?”

You scan his broken watch and nod timidly. “Yeah, something to remember them by.”

You stand up after eating some more food you packed, ensuring you’re somewhat nourished before you go to sleep. Joel stares at the fire, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. He knows he has to sleep, but he knows you need it more. He’s willing to give up his hours for yours.

“You want me to do first watch?” You quiz, hoping to get the answer no. Instead, he just shrugs. You cross your arms, a cool shiver going down your back as you step away from the fire.

“I’ll start first,” He mumbles, grabbing his poking stick, “There’s a bed in there all ready for you. Get some rest, we got a long day tomorrow.”

You respond with a slight wag of your head, “Okay, goodnight, Joel.”

You turn on your heels and head towards the front door of the cabin. You creak the door open. It’s pitch black so you step back onto the small porch to grab the lantern Joel lit a while ago. You slowly creep through the one-room cabin, placing the lantern on the small table by the door. It lit up most of the room so you got a great look at the wooden framed bed, waiting for you to lay upon it.

You feel a pang of guilt making Joel sit outside to guard you as you slept. You knew you needed rest. You also knew it would start getting colder and colder and that fire would die eventually.

Joel could handle himself, after all. You would just have to push your worry aside. When you curl up onto the hard mattress, you think back to the last time you were left to trust another man to look after you as you slept. It was a traumatizing night, so instead of worrying yourself, you close your eyes and remind yourself that Joel is safe. Dad trusts Joel. Joel is a good man.

Sleep eventually takes over, your soft snores rattling off the wooden walls.

After a couple of hours, the shivering takes over Joel’s body, so he creeps into the cabin. The lantern is dimmer, slowly running out of fuel. He shakes his head, smiling to himself at your disregard for resources. He walks over to the small wood-burning oven, opening the door to it as quietly as he can. You don’t even stir. You’re a deep sleeper, he would remember.

He starts a fire with the old coals, warming up the small space. Once he stands up from his squat, he hisses at the crack of his knees. He glances over at you, making sure he did not wake you. Nothing.

You were a peaceful sleeper, your mouth slightly ajar. To Joel, you were always so beautiful. Not even just your looks, but your kind and reserved nature. You always gave him a delighted smile when he looked your way. You were dedicated to always being there for your father, which would always melt his cold heart. He would always watch you with a careful eye, praying that you would somehow get older or him, younger. He hated himself for admiring you so often, especially since he respected your father so much. But you were right there.

He sat himself in the old recliner chair near the door, peaking out the window every so often. He would always find himself training his eyes back on you, watching your chest rise and fall slowly.

It takes everything in him not to curl up next to you.

The second day starts off a bit rough.

When you wake up in the early morning hours, you take notice of a sleeping Joel in the corner of the room. You spring up, loudly rattling the bed frame. It sends Joel jumping out of his skin, his eyes flying open to look at you.

You are panting like you just ran a mile.

“Jesus Christ, girl,” He barks, his tone tired but also vicious, “Thought someone had you at gunpoint.”

“You were sleeping!”

“Shit, yeah I was, wasn’t I?” His tone is more relaxed, sort of annoyed. He rubs his eyes, glancing outside. Your horses were still there and it doesn’t seem like you guys have been ransacked.

You clench your fists, “You’re lucky we didn’t get shot in our sleep or something.”

He rolls his eyes, slowly rising from the chair he took over, “That’s a little dramatic, sweetheart. We are fine.”

After that comment, you did not want to talk to Joel Miller.

You also start to question if you can trust him. He should’ve woken you up to take charge of the watch, but instead, he ignorantly fell asleep and risked your life.

When you pack up to leave, he realizes how rattled you are. He wants to apologize, but he’s too stubborn to do so. You were being dramatic. But he shouldn’t have said that. He should’ve kept that comment to himself. He was never really good at holding his tongue, always saying the first thing on his mind.

When the sun sets on the second day, Joel promises you two should be in Salt Lake the next afternoon. The whole day pretty much consisted of you two bickering about state capitals. He swears the capital of Pennsylvania is Philadelphia.

“It’s not, it’s Harrisburg,” You would say.

You also talked about times before the Infection. He mentions his daughter, Sarah, telling you about how she used to play soccer and she loved going to the Texas State Fair. It makes your heart happy to hear him light up about her, but it makes you want to cry hearing a father talk about his dead child. You can’t imagine that type of pain, and you hope you never do. He doesn’t even know why he’s suddenly baring his soul to you, but he starts to feel like his walls are falling away and he’s comfortable around you.

He tells you about how he plays the guitar, which you lock onto quickly.

“You’ll have to show me how good you are,” You smile, imagining Joel Miller strumming along to some folksy song you request. He can only imagine what type of music you would want to hear from him.

“When we get home,” He mutters, “I'll give you a performance.”

“I cannot wait.”

The conversation with you was easy. You could get anything out of him, pretty much. You were a lot like your father, but softer. He enjoyed your company a bit more. Your laugh was infectious and you were a lot easier on the eyes, of course. When you two stop for a break, he watches as you look for four-leaf clovers on the forest floor. When you find one, you pick it up and bring it over to his hunched-down frame.

“My mom used to say they were for love and luck,” You explain, “Think you need it for both.”

He knew you were joking by the way you giggle and return to your spot on the ground. He just shakes his head and sticks the clover in his jacket pocket.

He was dreading being back in Salt Lake. He doesn’t want to relive that day when Ellie was practically ripped from him. It sent him spiraling just thinking about all the outcomes that could’ve transpired that day.

He contemplates telling you for a few brief seconds.

He wouldn’t have much to lose, especially now that everything is said and done. But then fear takes over and he wonders, would you judge him for it?

He imagines how you would react. How your nose would probably scrunch up, how your disposition towards him would soon contort into horror. You would probably call him a monster. You would probably never look at him the same way, with that beautiful smile and attentive gaze.

“You okay, Joel?”

You two were positioned on the edge of some woods off a dirt road. Joel didn’t want to attract anyone with fire, so you two decided you would just camp on the ground near the highway you would end up following to get into the city.

“‘M all good,” He practically whispers, “Just tired. You mind gettin’ first watch?”

You just silently nod, watching him rise from his spot and move over to the sleeping bags you two had set up when you arrived. You watch as he awkwardly wiggles his large frame into a small sack. It makes you giggle a bit. He positions himself with his back to you, his front facing into the woods. He can’t spend his time staring at you like he would like to, he needs to sleep.

You realize he has a leaf stuck on the back of his head. You couldn’t help yourself, it was going to bother you for as long as you were awake. You stand up and slowly creep up to him.

You squat down and pluck the leaf out of his thick curls. His head snatches back at you, knitting his brows together in confusion.

Secretly deep down, you just wanted to find a reason to touch him.

“Can I help you?”

You give him a shit-eating grin, “Yeah, you just got leaves in your hair. It was going to bother me if I didn’t get it out. You’re very, very welcome.”

He rolls his eyes, “Can I sleep now?”

“Don’t know, I’m already getting bored without you glaring at me.”

You were now on a mission to annoy him, he guesses.

Without thinking, he responds with a comment that would stick with you all night.

“Yeah, you like it when I look at you, don’t ya?”

The homestretch was only about another 20 miles. You and Joel had made good time, only taking about three days to get to the hospital. After the subtle flirting with Joel the night before, you got a little more ambitious with your advances.

Before you two took off to get to your destination, you asked Joel if you could change your clothes. You had mud all over your jeans and your shirt was reeking of body odor. The natural deodorants that were handmade in Jackson only did so much.

“Yeah, make it quick,” He orders, pointing to a more private area of the camp, “There’s some bushes over there.”

“I’m not getting dressed in a bush, Joel. Just look away,” You test, already shrugging off your flannel. He notices your bold move, instantly peeling his eyes away from your direction. This can not be happening to him right now.

“What the hell,” He murmurs, his hands propped up on his hips, “You’re doin’ this on purpose.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, “Doing what on purpose?”

“Testin’ me. Me and my patience.”

You throw your shirt over your head and grab one of your spare ones from your pack, “Well, if it’s a test, you’re passing with flying colors, Miller.”

He glances back at you without even really thinking, spotting you in your bra with a shirt covering your eyes. It’s almost like when you tell a child not to press a button, and it makes them want to do it even more.

He wanted to keep looking.

“Fuck,” He says under his breath, trying to push those types of thoughts out of his mind.

You shimmy off your pants, folding them as soon as you get them off your legs. You needed a shower so bad, you felt so filthy.

“You think we could stop back at the cabin on the way home? I want to bathe.”

Thinking about you naked and taking a bath made his dick hard.

“Yes,” He manages to say, “Hurry up, please!”

You grin at his frustration, “Fine, fine. I’m almost done.”

You and Joel trot along an abandoned highway, cars littering every lane. It was nothing new to you. You have seen plenty of cities in your lifetime. Each time was a bit different, but for the most part, they were all the same. Riddled with infected and bombed to shit.

You think back to when Tommy said Joel had been here before. Your mind starts to wonder, and being that you still had a couple of hours before you got to see the actual hospital, you decide to speak up and ask.

“When was the last time you were here?”

He thinks for a second. He was waiting for these questions.

“Over a year ago.”

You shake your head, “Was there a reason?”

You had no business prying into Joel’s life, but you felt like after spending days with him, there was some kinship. Maybe even a friendship.

“Ellie’s mom was a Firefly. They had a base camp out here,” He explains, but would he go further? Would he spill all the beans?

It’s technically not his story to tell. But then again, Ellie didn’t even have the truth, so it was a story only he knew.

You wait before responding, “Did you find her?”

“Who?”

“Ellie’s mom,” You press, glancing around some cars. You are trying to act like you didn’t care, but you could tell from the moment you entered the outskirts of the city, Joel was plagued with the weight of the atmosphere. His shoulders got heavier, his eyebrows further knitted together. He was tense.

“No, she’s dead. So I brought her home,” He says, half-bending the truth. He’s lying, but not really. Ellie’s mom was dead but that was never the reason they came out here. He just wants to say it, but his chest feels like a weight is pushing down, almost cracking his ribs. He swallowed the guilt.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

You didn’t have much else to say, letting the silence eat away at the prickle of your arm hairs as they stood up. You try to relax, but now that you are in the city, it feels real. You traveled all this way for medication so Jackson would not shun you. It sounded kind of stupid, coming all this way in hopes of a stocked Firefly hospital.

You also traveled all this way with Joel Miller. You managed to speak to him without tripping over every word and poking fun at him. You watched him sleep at night, looking so peaceful in the woods surrounding him. You try to think about the last time you saw him smile. You saw him differently, now. He came all this way to help you and your dad. He is risking a lot, disregarding his duties back home, just so he can be with you and protect you.

You ponder if things will be different when you get home. Maybe he would talk to you more when he came to the Tipsy Bison. Maybe he would wave back at you when you saw him around town.

You secretly hoped being next to him for so long would change your relationship with him.

Joel starts to ride next to you, studying your face as you stare forward.

“What are you thinkin’ bout so hard over there?” He poses, watching your face twist when he speaks up.

You lick your lips, “Thinking about what it’s gonna be like when I get home.”

“What do ya’ mean?”

You halt your horse to look over at him. He does the same.

“We came all this way and I am scared when we get back, you won’t want to talk to me anymore.”

He shakes his head, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, “Kiddo, your dad’s my patrol partner. ‘Course, I’ll still talk to you. You’re always around.”

The nickname makes you cringe. You don’t want to be a kid to him.

“Right, of course.”

When you get to the edge of the city, Joel starts explaining the game plan. How you will get to the hospital, do your sweep as quick as you can, and don’t meander around. He also explains how the exit plan is to drop everything, no matter what, and return to the horses. You see someone? Run.

You want to say you know how to handle yourself, but you resist and just nod in understanding.

To your surprise, you two do not run into any hoards. You turn a corner and spot a couple of infected twitching near an old school, and you two carefully back up and go up another block to avoid them altogether. You two don’t say anything to each other as you spot the hospital in the distance. Joel just points forward, having you trot at his side.

You pull out your gun when you start to hear some clicking nearby. Joel gestures to you to be quiet and continues to the front of the hospital. You two ride your horses to the ambulance drop-off, parking them there. When you jump down, you start to grab your pack so you can fill it with whatever supplies you find. Joel does the same, throwing his leather backpack over his shoulder. You check the magazine of your gun and take off the safety.

“Okay, we stay close to each other,” He explains in a hushed tone, “Grab whatever you think we need.”

You wiggle your head in agreement. He raises his rifle as you two enter the side door. The hospital is quiet besides the wind blowing through some shattered windows. You click on your flashlight that is attached to your backpack, making sure it’s pointed forward. The main corridor leads you down to some triage rooms and nurse's stations. Joel gestures to you to check out some triage rooms. You find some bandages and some tongue presses. You grab the entire box of bandages and stuff them in your bag. When you return to the hall, Joel is stuffing some of his finds in his pack.

“No meds yet,” He grumbles. You two press forward, keeping your steps silent. You find some lab rooms off the main hallway and you two scope out each room carefully, your guns still drawn and at the ready. You find more items; some gloves, masks, and some scissors. You pick them up, stuffing them in your back.

You hear movement from behind you and quickly spin. It’s just Joel, holding a couple of vials of medication. You rush towards him, using your light to see what the vials read.

levofloxacin

amoxicillin

“Jackpot,” You murmur, “Any more?”

He grabs a baggie sitting on a table nearby, “Not that I saw.”

You continue searching, not finding much of anything in the drawers. A lot of the stuff is picked through.

You point to a central staircase, “Wanna go up?”

“Yeah, right behind you.”

Joel was reeling, spotting some areas where blood was splattered across the walls as he walked through the hospital. It was terrifying to put himself back in this exact spot. It felt like a fever dream. Now he had you with him, another person he cared too much about to admit to anybody, let alone himself. He cared about you in a whole different way than he cared about Ellie.

You trail up the stairs, finding some old labs and nurse's stations. All were picked through. You couldn’t help but notice the blood all over the floor in some areas. You try to figure out what could have transpired here, but you don’t even try to beg the question to Joel. With the look on his face, you are afraid to say much of anything.

Something bad happened here and he was a witness to it.

It made you want to hurry up and spare his feelings. Instead of taking careful and methodical steps, you run room to room searching drawers and counters for anything of value. You find some alcohol swabs, safety pins, and some wrist splints. When you get to the last room in the hallway you’re in, you hit the jackpot. It’s a cabinet with some vials.

You start to quietly read them off to Joel who’s standing on the threshold of the room.

“Grab them all,” He says, pulling his pack off his shoulder so you can put some into his, “We can find use for ‘em.”

You also find some sutures and unopened syringes. You wish you could get down on your knees and thank whatever god is up there for blessing you with everything. You don’t believe in that though, so instead you excitingly grab Joel’s arm and shake it.

“Let’s get this all home,” You smile, pressing your fingers harder into his bicep, “Maybe celebrate with something strong from the bar.”

Then you hear it.

Click. Click. Click.

Joel grabs your arm back, shoving you behind him. He slings his pack over his shoulder and you do the same. You never had many issues with killing infected, but you did not know what you were dealing with. It was dark and all too quiet for too long. Joel creeps forward, his gun drawn forward to peek out the door. When you do the same, he tucks you back behind him.

Lining the hallway is about 3 clickers. Your stomach drops as they slowly make their way to the sounds you two made seconds ago. Joel glances back at you, his face very serious and stern.

You can read the look on his face and being that you dealt with these fuckers before, you know that you need to be silent. He looks back down the hall, spotting an exit in a staircase that’s slightly blocked by one of the clickers. He waves you along as he slowly tiptoes down the hallway. You get closer and closer to the first clicker and your gun is trained right at them as you keep your distance. You can tell by the clothing that it was a woman at one time, the infection growing out of every crevice of her body.

She clicks and clicks, but does not attack you. You and Joel continue, not making a sound as you shuffle past the next one. But once you get close to the one closest to the door, something snaps and it’s like they all realize exactly all at once. One squeals and the others follow suit. Joel yells for you to run, but you don’t budge, emptying your gun into the closest one. It crumbles to the ground. With that one down, Joel grips your wrist tightly and flings you towards the door. You two rush out as Joel lights up the hallway with gunfire.

You now know that you’re attracting every infected in a mile radius so time is of the essence. You practically fall down the stairs trying to get to the bottom. Joel does not like how fast you moving, pressing you to run faster. You two sprint down the hallway as two runners come full speed at you from an opposing hallway. You try to shoot but your gun is empty. You scream for Joel to do something and he puts them down expertly. He’s spot on even with the adrenaline coursing through his veins. You find the door you came in from and quickly make your way to Ranger. He seems sort of spooked so you try to gingerly climb up him, grabbing his reigns from the pole you tied him to. Joel is quick to mount his horse. He pulls his horse back, guiding it to head back the way you guys came.

You follow suit, hearing stirring from all around you as your hair whips in the wind. You are not worrying about the noise you two are making now, galloping down the once-busy streets of Salt Lake City.

“Don’t stop til’ I say so!” Joel calls out. You can hardly hear with your heartbeat in your ears and the wind against your ear drum.

You get to the edge of the city after about 20 minutes of dodging left-behind cars and random barriers. You get to the point where the foliage takes over and the infected taper off. You don’t realize it until you start slowing down and your heart gets back to its normal pace, you’re freezing.

You yell out for Joel, who’s still going quite fast. He halts completely, letting you catch up with his step.

“We have to stop, I’m freezing.”

You weren’t wearing all your layers and you knew it would be detrimental if you didn’t stop to wrap up before you two continued your journey. Joel nods, trotting off the main part of the road into some woods.

When you get off your horse, you can feel Joel’s eyes lock onto your vibrating body.

“Jesus, girl,” He dismounts, wrapping his reigns around a nearby branch, “The wind do you that much damage?”

You can’t help but laugh as you rifle through your pack to find your extra layers. You can remember packing two thermals, but with the way you’re shaking, you can’t even grip onto the clothes to move them around to search. You don’t even realize Joel has come to your side, you only notice when he nudges your side with his three fingers. You move out of his way so he can look, but you can’t help but feel the warmth his gentle touch gives you on your hip.

He pulls out a thermal, handing it out to you.

“Just put it over your other long sleeve,” He instructs, digging for another layer for you. You take his advice and throw it over your head. When your head pops through the neck hole, you spot him smirking at you.

“If you don’t warm up soon, I may have to share my body heat so we can get back on the road,” Joel jokes, watching you pull your hair out of the back of your long sleeve. You didn’t hate the sound of that, truthfully.

“Guess I will try my best not to warm up then.”

He shakes his head, grabbing onto your other thermal, “You can’t say stuff like that to me, darling.”

“Why not?”

Joel has slipped up a couple of times already, he wasn’t planning on giving in. But the teasing was fun and light-hearted. He knew in his heart it was not going to turn into anything.

Right?

“Because I don’t think it’s a very good idea for us to talk like that to one another,” He explains, stepping back as you add the other shirt onto your already warming body, “May lead us somewhere we can’t come back from.”

You swallow, “Maybe I’d like that.”

It takes you a day and a half to get back to the cabin. Joel promised that you two could spend a whole day there if need be. You two were physically and mentally exhausted. The horses needed rest too, you could tell Ranger was beat.

When you arrive on the property, Joel makes sure to scope out a radius before you two settle in. Ever since the sly passes you made at him, he’s been more quiet. You can tell he’s deep in thought. Maybe it wasn’t about you, but he had something on his mind.

You use the fire stove to warm up some water from the lake to give yourself a quick “bath”. You just used an old rag and some bar soap to scrub your limbs, trying to get off all the caked-on dirt. Joel stayed outside by the fire, cooking up some squirrels he was able to trap. You stood in your undergarments, lathering your skin, watching him from the window as he poked at the fire.

You felt a bit better once you were clean. The growl in your stomach was dull and kind of painful. You needed to eat, so you got your dirty clothes back on and headed outside to prop yourself up next to Joel.

When you open the cabin door, his head snaps over to you.

“Howdy, cowboy,” You gleam, walking down to the stump next to him. You couldn’t help but flirt now. It was funny to watch him squirm, the glint in his eyes not hard to notice.

“You all clean?”

You nod, giving him a cheeky smile. “Yeah, now you go get yourself all cleaned up.”

He grabs his stick poker, “Don’t got any soap.”

“Use mine.”

Joel stops his motion immediately to train his eyes back on you. “You want me to smell like you?”

“Well, I smell delicious, so why not?”

He scans your body with his eyes, “Cause if we get home and your Dad smells your soap on me, he’ll put it bullet between my eyes.”

You know he’s being dramatic, finding any excuse to opt out of using the soap you just used on your body.

“So, what you’re saying is,” You clear your throat before continuing, “If my dad wasn’t your friend, you’d lather yourself with my soap?”

He contemplates for a moment, “Yeah, and other things.”

Your heart stops beating for a second. Joel can not help but smirk at your reaction. He was playing with fire, literally and figuratively. The tension between you two was so heavy, that you do not think you could even take a deep breath in.

He stands up from his spot next to you. “Why don’t ya eat, sweet thing? I have to clean myself up, I guess.”

Joel can not do this.

You were his friend’s daughter. Sure you were grown, beautiful, strong-willed, and everything he could want and more but he could not take advantage of you. The only way he felt this way right now was because tensions were so high back in Salt Lake. You two have spent a lot of time together, the hormones… what the fuck is he thinking?

You sit by the fire, your stomach doing back flips as you think about Joel in the cabin, by himself, practically half naked.

Why were you doing this to yourself?

Your heart is racing faster than it ever has. No clicker, no stranger, nothing has made you this nervous. Your hand reaches for the door handle, but before you can turn it, Joel rips open the door.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

You stand there, dumbfounded. “I-I don’t know.”

He’s standing over you, his chest rising faster the more you keep your eyes trained on him. He has a green flannel on, the top couple of buttons undone. You lift your hand to touch the skin peeking through, but he stops your movements before you can make contact. You note the scent of wood burning in the cabin and it’s a lot warmer than you left it. Joel must have started the stove again.

“We can’t.”

You shake your head, “No, we can’t, can we?”

You two know better. You know better. You know better.

You are breathing in each other’s spaces. You don’t even want to look him in the eyes. His arm snakes around your midsection, pulling you forward into the cabin. At that moment, you knew that you two didn’t know any better.

It’s almost like you two silently made the decision.

“We can’t tell anyone about this, sweet girl,” He whispers, his hands still firmly on your back. You could not resist this temptation anymore. He was right in front of you, wanting you just as badly as you wanted him.

Your eyes glance up at his dark sultry gaze, “It’s our little secret.”

His hand reaches up, gracing your chin with his touch. When he dips down to meet your height, you finally get bold and extend your hand up and around his neck. Your lips connect and you feel like a million little butterflies explode in your stomach. You had never desired a kiss from anyone as much as you did with Joel.

He’s eager and impatient, though. He’s not as soft as you imagined for a man who hardly spoke. He just wants to feel you everywhere, all at once. His mouth melts into yours, his tongue exploring every inch of yours. He’s moving you around the room, stumbling over furniture and shoes as he backs you into the large wooden bed frame.

“So fuckin’ perfect,” He mumbles into your lips as soon as he lifts you up onto the mattress. It catches you by surprise, mainly because you never expected him to manhandle you in this way. He’s hungry for every inch of you. After all these months of secretly pining for him and him not giving you any positive response, you never anticipated something like this happening. Especially at a time like this.

“Joel,” You whine, pulling him down on top of you as you fall back into the flannel blankets, “I need you everywhere.”

He grins peppering kisses down your neck, “Don’t worry, I will treat you so fuckin’ good. Been wantin’ you for so long.”

It was so filthy and hot. Your dad’s patrol partner, his best friend. Keen to make you feel good? And wanting it for a while? You must be imagining his words because you can’t even comprehend the situation.

But it’s true. Joel’s secretly been watching you when you’re not looking. When you sling drinks on Friday nights, he watches you from a booth in the corner. Tommy’s caught him a couple of times, smacking him and reminding him that you were off limits. When you came to his house with extra pot pie or soup, he would watch you walk away from his house from his living room window.

This taboo yearning kept him up at night. But now, he has you alone and he needs a taste.

He pulls back to look at your face, “Are you sure you want me?”

You can’t help but giggle a bit.

“Joel, I’ve been wanting you for longer than I would like to admit,” You purse your lips as you bring your hand up to trace his collarbone, “Think about you all the time.”

It was the truth. Your mind was taken up but all his little sly comments. The way he would drop anything to help you or your dad. His beautiful brown eyes didn’t help one bit either.

“My god, girl…Gonna have me cumming in my jeans like a teenager.”

He returns to laying kisses all along your body. It started with wet kisses down your neck, only for it to trail right where your shirt begins, right below your collarbones. You push him back for a moment, taking your shirt off over your head. He watched you carefully, ensuring there was no hesitancy with your actions. He wanted to be absolutely positive that this is what you wanted.

As soon as you reach for the clasp of your bra, Joel grabs your arms away.

“Let me,” He mumbles, letting his fingers trace along the seam of the black fabric before using his right hand to undo the back. With him this close to you again, you inhale sharply, catching the scent of your soap.

“See you took up my offer,” You tease, letting your bra fall down your shoulders, “Did you get clean just for this, Miller?”

He catches a glimpse of you under the bra and his mind goes blank. You notice his change in disposition and decide it’s best to discard every other article of clothing completely. You struggle to get your jeans off, so he helps by practically ripping them off your legs. He can’t help but spot the soak undies attached to your jeans. When you are bare under him, he gawks at you for a moment.

“A beautiful woman like you,” He shakes his head, biting his lip. He unbuckles his pants before he stands and shoves them down his legs. While he’s making an effort to get as naked as you, you start unbuttoning his flannel. He watches you take your time, thumbing each button slowly. He tilts your head back up, his eyes leering at you for a moment. “And you want someone like me?”

You know he’s probably in his own head, so you feel the need to prove to him, that yes this is what I want.

You grab onto his neck and pull him back down into a passionate kiss. When you notice him give in, you use all your might to push him sideways and onto his back next to you. You mount his lap immediately, holding him down with your body weight. Your soaked slit trudges over his large hard-on while you dip your head to capture his lips. You feel his hands trail up the sides of your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He finds your boobs, palming them with his warm calloused hands. You were extra sensitive so as soon as his fingers find your nipples, you’re moaning into his mouth.

When your hips jet forward, his tip slides between your pussy lips. The sensation sends him into overdrive, his grip on your waist getting tighter. He’s so fucking big.

“No foreplay, you just wanna grind your pussy right onto my cock?” His question sends shockwaves through your body and you raise your hips up off his crotch. You kneel over him, anticipating to rotate your pelvis back onto him, but he has other ideas.

Because Joel has been thinking about what you taste like for too long. He can’t just fuck you. He lays back, all the while, dragging you up to his chest so your pussy is hovering over his pursed lips.

“Joel, what are you doing?”

You feel his hot breath huff onto your slick center, “I’m gonna devour this beautiful pussy, first. Need to get you warmed up.”

Without any warning, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pushes your center closer to his outstretched tongue. You gasp when he starts to run his tongue up and down your slit. You can’t help but settle around his face, your knees feeling like they may already give out.

You’ve never sat on someone’s face and watched them eat you out like a starved man. But Joel is precise with his motions, his mouth wrapping around your clit. When he starts to suck, the suction noise makes you whimper and shake. You have only ever cum by your own hand, so when the familiar heat rises in your stomach, you know instantly this is going to be the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

Joel is a very easy man to please. He thoroughly enjoys watching women crumble above him, their orgasms surging through their bodies while his tongue is pressed into them. But with you, he wants to drudge it out of you over and over again. You’re so magnetic on top of him, your head thrown back in pleasure. Your hands rest on your shoulders as you grind down on him, your peak teetering the edge. He shimmies his hand in between your thighs and begins to use his fingers in you, just to drive you crazier. He’s fucking up into you with his pointer and middle fingers, managing to latch onto your clit while he does.

When you tumble into bliss, Joel moans into you, egging on your spasms. You lurch forward, dragging your center off his drenched lips. Your legs are limp as you try to crawl up the bed. Joel rolls over, creeping up the bed with you. You lay on your back, propping yourself up onto some of the pillows.

“Do you need a break?” He asks, his hands feeling up your bare, still kind of shaking, thighs. You shake your head “yes” and breathe out loudly. Your body is covered in a light sheen, the sweat pooling around your hairline. Joel lets you take a moment, making sure you are completely ready for him.

When you finally meet his eyes, your stomach fills with butterflies. He’s admiring you from his position, his eyes not finding yours until he’s done checking out your bare chest. You giggle, tugging on his wrists. He takes up your advances, positioning himself above you. He’s caging you in with his tanned strong arms, only allowing you to really move your upper body. You tangle your hands through his messy dark peppered curls, which makes him sigh. He secretly loved it when women felt through his hair.

“Fuck me,” He groans as he reaches down between you, grabbing ahold of his hard member. You watch as he drags it through your heat, gathering all your wetness before teasing your entrance.

“Joel, please.”

He smirks, pushing in just his tip, “Please what, baby girl? You want me to give you all of it?”

You are already overstimulated after your last orgasm and you are a bit nervous to imagine what all of it is. You nod, though, because the stretch is already so delicious.

“Please, Joel, please. I need it,” You whine, knowing how desperate you sound. It’s music to Joel’s ears.

“Shh, baby,” He eases in further, “I told you I’m gonna treat you real good. Gonna treat this pussy, so fuckin’ good.”

When he’s fully sheathed in you, your nails are digging into his shoulders. When he eases back to pull out some to ensure you can take it, you’re a moaning mess. It only eggs him on, feeling how slick you are and how tight you are around him.

“That’s right baby, take all of me,” He says as he lifts himself off you. You have nothing to grip onto now, except the sheets that line the queen-sized bed. Joel wants to watch himself slip out of you and go back into you with ease. You love the friction, but you know you need more.

You don’t know how, but it’s like he reads your mind. He starts to increase his pace, holding onto the back of your thighs as he drills into you. The curvature of his dick hits exactly where no man could ever reach.

“Oh my god, fuck Joel! Fuck!”

Your words only encourage him to go harder and faster.

“Keep screamin’ my name, baby doll.”

The sweat is dripping down his face with how much effort he’s putting into fucking you. You’re floored at how quickly your orgasm builds again, the sounds of him plowing into you alone sends you into overdrive.

As soon as you start to vibrate under him, Joel takes that as a great time to start thumbing at your clit. You feel every one of your nerve endings burning with such rapture, that you can’t even say anything. You’re just howling, no coherent words even coming out. Your vision goes white.

The scene is something out of the old pornos Joel used to watch. You’re writhing under him, the orgasm practically sending you cross-eyed. You reach up to anchor yourself down and the only thing you can find to grab is Joel’s forearm.

“Yes, Joel!”

His hips continue to snap into yours as you squeeze his cock with your gyrating hips. He’s fucking you through it, watching your face contort. Your grip on his arm hurts, but he does not care. It’s unbelievably hot to watch the girl he has adored from afar cumming around him. Over and over.

The scene is enough to have him chasing down his own high. The feeling of your cunt gripping onto him so tight, while his name is chanted from your lips, the cum practically shoots out of him before he has time to grab his shaft and pull out. He does not empty himself in you though, quickly prying himself out of your weeping hole and spilling out the rest onto your stomach.

“Shit.”

You don’t even realize what happened, not caring about really anything except for how wonderful and high you feel. Joel tumbles onto his side, half of his body resting on yours. His mouth is close to your ear so he whispers it to you, his voice shaky.

“I came inside you.”

You lick your lips, trying to regain some saliva in your mouth, “I do not care, Joel.”

He does not prefer that answer, but he accepts it for the time being. You could not feel your face at the moment, you did not have time to worry yourself over Joel cumming inside you. It was not the first time someone did that.

Joel rolls off the bed, his legs feeling wobbly with his first steps. He’s still half hard and stumbling over to the bowl of water he just used to clean off himself. He grabs a clean rag and soaks it in the soapy water. The least he could do was clean up his mess.

You watch him trudge over to you, the cum still pooled on your stomach and a bit in your belly button.

Joel places the warm towel on your lower tummy, wiping up his mess.

“Thanks,” You manage to say, your post-orgasm haze wearing off a bit. Now you’re just cold and exhausted. You shiver as soon as he removes the towel from your buzzing body. He notes it immediately and grabs the blanket that had been kicked to the floor. He lays it over you, making sure your full nude body is covered by the chilly air.

“I need to go take a leak, I’ll be right back.”

You try to stay awake. But as soon as he gets some clothes on and heads outside to relieve himself, you’re lulled to sleep by the sounds of the rustling woods that surround the cabin.

When you slowly open your eyes, you instantly notice how dry your mouth is. The itchy fabric of the blanket is tickling your bare limbs as you shift. Joel’s not beside you.

You sit up, glancing around the cabin. His stuff is still here, but he is not. You keep the scratchy blanket wrapped around you as you plant your bare feet on the wooden floor. As soon as you take your first step forward towards the front door, it slowly swings open.

Joel stands there, fully clothed, cheeks reddened from the cold outdoors.

“Mornin’,” He says with a sleepy voice, “Got up early to get the horses fed and saddled up.”

All you remember is him going to pee outside last night, right before you fell asleep. “Did you ever come to bed last night?”

“Yeah, only got a couple of hours of sleep. You took up most of the bed.”

You clear your throat, becoming hyper-aware suddenly that you are very naked under the blanket. Joel tries not to notice your natural sensuality when you wake up. Sleepy eyes, swollen lips, slightly tangled hair. Even if last night never happened, he would be completely enamored by you.

“Oh, okay,” You mutter, trying to act natural about the fact that you slept with Joel fucking Miller last night. “We all set then?”

He shuts the front door, cutting off any more cold from slipping in. You watch him slowly start to invade your space. He feels pulled towards you, the gravity overcoming every sense he has. He needs to be close to you, touching you, feeling you.

“Yeah, we are all set.”

Chills run down your spine when his cold hand reaches out and grazes your cheek. You flick your eyelashes towards him, not knowing what to say next. He dips down to your height, kissing your lips carefully. He is nervous you will back away from him, but you don’t. You lean forward into him, the weight of your entire body pressing into him.

He is the first to pull away, but you swear you could be latched onto him forever. His big brown eyes are lasered in on your eager lips, but in the back of his mind, he knows that you two need to get back home soon. He promised Tommy four days, nothing more. And you needed to get home to your Dad. Fuck. Your Dad. His fuckin’ friend.

“We have to get home,” Is all he says.

And then he’s gone. It’s like he blipped out of the room. You blink and the door slams and you are alone again.

You stumble out of the cabin with your backpack on, your eyes adjusting to the sunshine between the falling away leaves. Winter creeps in so quickly in Wyoming, you think to yourself.

Joel is already posted up on his horse, waiting for you to hurry along and join him. You pet Ranger for a moment before you hop up onto his back. He can’t help but realize how perfect you seemed in the sunlight. Your face hasn’t aged with time like his. It makes sense because you’re so much younger than him. You’ve lived a very full and traumatic life, sure, but you still had a lot more energy to live. He couldn’t picture that you’d want to spend the rest of it with an older guy with maybe 20 more years left in him if you’re lucky.

The thoughts start to eat away at him as you two make your way through the forest.

You assume he’s just tired from not getting a lot of sleep, so you just keep your lips sealed until you make it to the main trail back home.

“So, when we get home,” You break the quietness with your open-ended statement. Joel doesn’t know what you’re insinuating, so he just keeps his head forward. “What happens, then?”

He pulls back his horse's reins to position himself looking directly at you.

“What do you mean?”

You look at him suspiciously, “Do we tell people?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Joel thinks.

“Tell them what?”

He has to be messing, right? You think.

But no, he’s deadly serious.

“About us,” You remark as Ranger trots a bit closer to Joel. He shakes his head and your heart sinks. He can’t do this, not after you two slept together.

“There is no us,” He grumbles, unable to look you in the eyes anymore, “We can’t do that. You’re too young.”

If you weren’t on a horse, you would’ve already smacked him. “What the hell, Joel? What if you get in my pants and make me feel special and now we are nothing? Because I’m a little bit younger than you?”

“No, it’s not like that-”

“Well, it seems like it is like that,” You bite the inside of your cheeks, holding back every instinct to burst into tears, “Fuckin’ asshole. I should’ve known better.”

When the walls of Jackson come into your line of sight, you could cry with excitement. Your hands were shaking, not only from the cold but the nerves. You had been silent the entire ride back. Your only desire was to get home to your Dad and ignore Joel Miller for the rest of your life.

You can only hope and pray that your father is on the mend. To keep on track and not let panic take over, you’ve tried to put your mind on other things this whole trip. Most of those things you wish you’d forgotten, already.

The doors open when you two get close. When the crack is big enough to see through, you spot some familiar faces waiting for you. Tommy, Maria, and even your father. He’s standing up straight, wrapped in layers of jackets and blankets. You tap Ranger with your foot, getting him to speed up. When you reach about 30 feet away, you practically fall off him to get your arms around your father.

A sense of relief floods your body. A tidal wave of happiness and solace. He’s okay. He’s alive.

When his scent reaches your nose, it triggers your tear ducts. After years of never having to really worry about him, knowing he can handle himself, you have felt this constant state of uneasiness the last week.

“My baby is back,” He grumbles into your hair, his arms locking around you, “I knew I could trust that Joel.”

You don’t have time to feel guilt over your actions, you’re just so happy he’s upright. You also don’t want to hear his God-forsaken name from your own Dad. When you pull back to inspect his face, you note the tiredness in his eyes. He looks better, but not his normal. You grab each end of the blanket that’s slowly slipping off his shoulders and bundle him tighter.

“Let’s get you back in the warm, how ‘bout it?”

You glance back at Joel who just nods, knowingly. You remember that you still have your backpack on, so before you stroll away, you shimmy out of it. Tommy watches you carefully as you hand it off to Joel.

“Get those meds to the infirmary,” You whisper to no one in particular. Joel studies your face, waiting for you to say something else. You do not. As he grabs your pack, you feel like Maria and Tommy are gawking at you two. Like they know something was left unsaid.

You two move differently around each other. When you shift one direction, Joel follows suit.

Joel feels like every eye in Jackson is on him. Tommy’s being the most piercing, watching him like a hawk as he grabs his horse and guides him towards the stables. While you stroll away with Maria and your father, Joel and Tommy bring the horses and supplies to the stables.

As you walk, you listen to Maria explain your father’s steady recovery. She mentions how Ellie has been keeping a careful eye on him. After she heard you and Joel were going to be gone together, she asked Maria if she could help him somehow. Once your dad got well enough to walk, she got him settled in your house. She’d go over there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, just to help. It makes your heart swell when you hear your dad say how kind and generous she was, just like you.

Joel starts to unpack your bags from your horse first when he gets the horses parked.

“Somethin’ happen out there?” Tommy presses, noticing how odd you and Joel moved in front of him, “With her?”

“No, nothin’,” He lies, placing your bags on a table near Ranger. When he lifted the first duffle bag, he got a whiff of you and it made his stomach sink. “We just had a rough spot in the hospital. Clickers and shit. Nothin’ too crazy-”

“Joel, I know when you’re lyin’ to me,” His eyes are shooting daggers now. Joel was too old to be pestered by his little brother. He groans in annoyance but Tommy does not give up, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do nothin’, Tommy.”

“Bullshit,” He grumbles, grabbing one of your bags, “Want me to ask her?”

“You won’t get anythin’ out of her. She’s mad at me, okay? She is pissed I won’t…”

He feels humiliated, his stomach twisting into knots. He would never intentionally hurt you. He just put his foot in his mouth when he realized how much your actions would change everything for him. He could not just be someone you slept with. He could not just leave it.

“You won’t what, Joel?”

He bites his lip, not wanting to say it out loud.

“I won’t let her ruin her life for me.”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrow, not completely understanding what he’s droning on about.

“What?”

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” Joel wasn’t anticipating a shake-down when he got home. You two really didn’t help with those looks splattered across your faces when you rolled into Jackson.

“You slept with her, didn’t you?”

Joel shakes his head, peeling his eyes away from Tommy. Joel knew nothing could get past him, so he is practically surrendering. Tommy knew then.

“You dumbass,” He whispers, getting closer to Joel, “You slept with her when her daddy is your patrol partner? After I told you to stay away?”

Joel clenches his teeth, “I don’t need this right now. I’m gettin’ these meds to the infirmary and then I’m takin’ her stuff to her.”

“Joel-”

“Just fuckin’ drop it, Tommy. I ain’t doin’ this.”

Your Dad has a nice setup, thanks to Ellie. She has transformed the downstairs guest room into a wonderful stay, with tons of pillows and bedside service. When you get inside the house, Ellie is there. She stands in the corner of the living room, timidly, as you guide your dad back to his warm bed. Maria and her wait for you to handle getting him back to his bedroom. Even though his recovery has been a steady incline, he’s very weak and exhausted all the time. It’s his body’s reaction to fighting a rough illness, but he made sure to reassure you that Sidney told him it’ll be a couple of weeks before he’s 100% back to normal.

You get him back in bed, his eyes already drooping to find slumber again. You manage to get his shoes off and help him under his covers. Once his head hits the pillow, you stand by the bed for a minute to ensure he’s actually sleeping. You slip out of the room, and the sudden rush of comfort of being home takes over your senses. To hear the crackling of the fireplace, and the smell of your homemade candles. While you enjoyed every moment spent with Joel, there’s nothing like home.

For a second there, you thought you had that same feeling being next to him in bed. But maybe you were wrong.

You walk out to where Maria and Ellie stand. They are mumbling to each other while you kick off your boots by the door.

“Hey, Ellie,” You catch her attention, her freckled face down turning with concern. You smile, trying to ease her, “Thank you for all you’ve done here. I am glad he had someone like you looking after him.”

She nods, her lips twitching, “It’s no problem at all. I know how much you two mean to Joel and I just wanted to do what I could.”

Hearing his name sinks your heart, “We owe ya one.”

Because you did. No matter what would eventually transpire between you and Joel, you owe him your father’s life. His idea saved him. With how sick he was, Joel’s quick plan was enough to bring him home. Then for Ellie to spend her days looking after him while you two were gone? You were forever indebted to them. Sadly.

“Well, we should leave you to get settled. Let us know if you need anything at all,” Maria gestures to Ellie towards the front door. Their footsteps trail around you, heading to your front door. Before Ellie can reach for the handle, there’s a knock. You nod your head, letting her know it’s okay to open it.

Joel stands there, your bags in his hands.

You honestly just left your belongings for him to deal with. Joel looks down at Ellie, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. She’s not as impressed, initially.

“Hey kiddo,” Joel acknowledges, before spotting Maria, “Mrs. Miller.”

“We were just heading out,” Maria says, pushing the door wider so she and Ellie can slip by his large frame, “Give the girl her things and let her settle back into her life, huh?”

Joel was already annoyed at the narrowed eyes and judgemental jabs. It’s like everyone somehow knew he fucked up.

You two watch Maria and Ellie leave, their breaths forming clouds in the cold sharp air. Jackson’s weather changed overnight, you think, remembering how it was more tolerable before you left.

“Can I come in?” Joel ponders, still holding your backpack and duffle.

It was cold and while you wanted to slam the door on him, you know you can’t. You move away from the threshold, gesturing for him to come in. His footfalls are heavy and drawn out. You shut the door, waving him towards the living room so your voices don’t carry down the hallway to your father’s newly set up bedroom.

He places your bags on the couch before he stretches his shoulders in discomfort. Your stuff was not that heavy, but Joel could not help but try to draw your attention. He glances around your living room, taking in some of the artwork and photos that line the walls. Some are old photos of you and your father, in which you don’t really resemble him at all.

“Back to how things were, huh?” You remark, bitterly. You wanted to attack him with every mean thing plaguing your mind, but you don’t. You were tired from all the travels but you were also tired of the idea of fighting for someone who does not care to fight for you back. You had done that for years with pointless boys.

The whole walk to your house, Joel’s thoughts were moving a million miles a minute. He did not want you to live your life resenting him. He cared for you deeply, but he did not want you to miss out on all the wonders of life. Joel could not give you kids. He could not give you 40 more years of happiness. He would be an elderly man before you could even reach menopause. He does not want you to regret things when you’re old and gray.

“I don’t want that. You know damn well I don’t want that.”

You could scream. But you stay even, not giving in to the temptation to just rip him a new one.

“I don’t know what you want, Joel. One minute you’re kissin’ me and begging to be with me, the next you’re telling me you can’t be with me because I’m too young.”

“Baby-”

“No! Don’t you dare? You had no intention of making this a thing, yet you played into it and got exactly what you wanted. I’m just another notch for you, ain’t I?”

Your hands are clenched, waiting for his delayed response. You are embarrassed and humiliated that you were delusional enough to let Joel toy with every one of your emotions.

“You know that ain’t true, girl. I just don’t want you to live your life regretting that I was a part of it, okay? You want to spend your days with an old man who can’t give you everything you want? ’m not good for you.”

He can’t let you make this mistake.

But you’re not easing up.

“What do you think I want? Kids? A simple life? A picket fence? Joel those are things I wanted when I was living in a world that didn’t have a brain-eating infection that’d turn people into zombies,” You’re huffing and puffing, trying to understand why he thinks he can tell you what you need and want.

“I spent years of my life wishing I could get those things, but I gave up a long ass time ago. I don’t want those things nearly as much as I want you. I fuckin’ want you, okay?”

You realize you’re not being quiet and your Dad could probably hear every word falling from your lips. He can hear you desperately plead with Joel Miller to be with you.

Joel is shocked you’re laying all this out. He can’t believe his ears when you say you want him. A man like him being wanted is quite unbelievable, especially by a woman like you.

You could hear a pin drop with how silent your house is. You fold your arms, trying not to give into the nausea you feel from spilling your soul to him.

“I just…” He fidgets with his hands for a minute before those puppy eyes glance up at you, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”

You step closer to him, your face inches away from him. You train your eyes on his mouth, unsure how to respond to such blasphemy.

“I have spent so many days thinking about what it’d be like to live in a world where the Joel Miller would even glance in my direction. I imagined what it’d be like to kiss him,” You’re whispering now, making sure this revelation is for his ears only, “I imagined what it’d be like to have a man who’d treat me well and look… Exactly like you. I have dreamed of you.”

Joel would have never guessed such a statement fall from your lips.

You breathe out, relieved it’s finally off your chest.

“I just don’t want to leave ya worse than I found ya,” His softness instantly makes you crumble into his arms. He holds you tight, before pulling away to search your face. You teeter forward on your toes, pressing a firm but attentive kiss to his lips.

When you draw back, “I’m not givin’ you up, Joel.”

The tension is shattered when you hear your Dad yell your name from down the hallway. You snap out of your trance of staring at Joel’s beautiful lips and dart toward the voice.

“Yeah?”

You open the door and see him, his eyes wide open and focused on the door.

“Who you talking to out there? Is that Joel?”

Suddenly you’re hyper-aware of every word you just said, scared half to death that your Dad would get out of bed and beat some sense into you. Joel follows you down the dimly lit hallway, but you don’t even hear him, too rattled by your father’s question.

“Yes, it’s me,” Joel speaks up, coming forward to meet your Dad’s confused expression, “How you feelin’, man?”

“I’m feelin’ like I’m hearing some odd things from down the hall. You two fighting?” His voice is breaking a bit.

The silence after he asks the question is deafening. You glance over to Joel whose mouth is slightly ajar, unable to move with an answer. You bite the inside of your cheek, wishing you could disappear into the wall nearby.

Joel cannot lie to his friend. He certainly would never do it with you right beside him.

“Yeah, you uh, heard us?” He barely manages.

“Yeah, I sure as hell heard my daughter beggin’ you to take her on, is that true?”

“Dad-“

“My daughter wants to date a man that’s 10 years younger than her own father? Kind of twisted.” He snaps, shoving the blankets off his legs. “But, I am gonna be honest… I expected this.”

You can hardly breathe with the tension in the air.

“Sorry?”

Joel’s tone is dry, and he’s unable to fully form a coherent thought.

Your dad coughs before he starts, “Well, I could tell by the way you looked at her that you had a thing for her, Miller. Didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to entertain it.”

“Dad, he’s not dum-“

“And I thought you’d get over this little schoolgirl crush, but I was mistaken, I guess.”

You were used to your Dad’s sarcasm and upfront jabs. You spent a lifetime throwing them back at him, but this time you had nothing to say. You watch as he settles back from obnoxiously tearing off his blankets.

You fiddle with your fingers, trying not to show your internal anxiety-riddled monologue. He thought you’d get over your crush. He always noticed how Joel looked at you. How did he look at you? How did you never notice?

Joel is spiraling, reverting to his original conclusions. He knew this was a horrible idea. He should have never stepped over the line. He’s a horrible man. You don’t deserve someone as awful as him.

He smacks his lips, making you and Joel come back down to Earth and out of your heads.

“Whatever is happenin’ between you two, I probably will never fully understand it. But you are adults, you do whatever makes you happy,” He says with both hands up in surrender, “I am too old to bother with my daughter’s love life. She’s a big girl, I trust her. But Miller, if you hurt her-“

“I’m a dead man.”

Your father laughs which in turn makes you smile crookedly.

“Just one thing,” He points to you, “I don't want to hear or see anythin’-”

You nod, cutting him off immediately, “Deal.”

Joel catches your eye when he smiles in your peripheral vision. You look over at him, a grin plastered to your face.

You can’t believe you’re actually going to do this.

And Joel can’t believe your father somewhat agreed to let it happen. He was sure he would have a gun in his face before he could even mutter a word. But instead, your Dad is receptive to him being with you, which is all you can ask for.

“Well, get along now, I wanna get back to sleep. You two were keepin’ me up,” Your dad grumbles, readjusting his frail frame to get comfortable in bed. You just nod, pointing at the door for Joel to exit. You follow suit, closing the door behind you tightly, making sure it clicks. Joel stands in the darkness of the hallway, waiting. He is in disbelief.

You just take one of his hands and bring it to your lips, softly pressing a kiss into his knuckles.

“Let’s go get cleaned up and take a nap,” You murmur, walking him to the end of the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. He accepts the offer, trailing behind you like a lost puppy.

You were not sure where this was all going to end up. Neither of you did. But you could not wait to carve the way with him, bringing every last one of your daydreams to life.

THE END

or is it? I have started writing snippets to go along with this story- if you want more, here's the link:

No One Fucks With My Baby

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