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#and then after he left i kept sighing and saying how embarrassing out loud and she kept questioning me why i cared so much
brokenyouth · 6 months
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trying to feel better by telling myself that my crush possibly overhearing me telling someone that i don't hate him i just talk about him bc it's fun to gossip or whatever bc i was trying to downplay and hide how much i actually do like him is mr darcy coded actually
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classypauli · 15 days
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Doctor’s treatment
Part 2
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader
Summary: After so long Tara finally meets you again... only this time a little drunk.
Word count: 3k
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It has now been a couple of weeks since visiting the hospital. People would think that Tara has already forgotten about what happened but the opposite is true. In those weeks there wasn´t a day she would not think about you. Her mind was repeating what happened and everytime a smile grew on her face. Mindy and Chad started to make fun of her, saying she looked like a kid first time having a crush. She doesn´t care.
Tara wanted to see you, so badly. She started thinking about how to get to see you again, like she would play another attack and go to the hospital, which to be honest was too cruel, or she would just go there and act like she had some examination and suddenly she saw you start to talk with you, then you would ask her to go on a date with her, you would start dating and-
God, she needs to stop. Young Carpenter sighed and put her head on the table. The voice of her professor was muted in her ears, today she felt like sleeping, just laying in her bed all day doing nothing. It was friday and she promised to go to some party. Mindy has been talking about it forever.
„Mindy I´m not in a mood right now.“ The girl turned her forehead against the table.
„I didn´t even say anything!“ Mindy scanned the shorter girl, looking for any signs of sickness. „You don´t feel good?“ she asked now with a normal tone. Tara shook her head.
„Well then we should probably call some doctor, who knows, maybe they will help you.“ Tara punched the girl beside her, making an angry noise from being teased on.
„Who does he think he is?!“ Tara was angry. They were currently at the party Mindy talked about. Everything was fine at first, everyone was minding their business, and they danced and drank, talked and joked around. It was so much fun.
But that fun soon disturbed that idiot Frankie. He was being himself of course and was trying to get with every girl there, including Tara. But the girl wasn´t in the mood for his stupid games. At first, she ignored him but as soon as he was touchy and started grabbing her to go upstairs, she became furious.
She yelled at him so hard the boy even flinched, wasn´t expecting this behavior from a sweet girl like Tara. Yeah, like she was some easy prey. He then became angry and embarrassed but knowing a lot of people were around him he couldn´t do anything.
„He is a prick Tara forget about him.“ Mindy was standing beside her watching as her friend was getting more alcohol into her cup. Tara wasn´t really drunk, yet at least. And after this incident, she just wanted to get alcohol into her system to forget about his ugly ass face.
„Like...“ the short girl let out and furious sigh out of her lips. „he is such a fucking idiot I´m surprised no girl has punched him yet.“ Tara shook her head at the bitter taste as the alcohol touched her tongue. Maybe she will be first.
„Oh! And on top of that-“
„Tara.“ Mindy said from her side but she only continued, she didn´t even notice the hand of her on her right shoulder.
„-he even-„
„Tara.“ Mindy said a little louder through the loud music that was playing in the house.
„Fuck Mindy what!“ Tara looked at her friend, raising her voice a little. She wasn´t angry at her, of course not and Mindy also knew that, but Tara had a short temper.
„Apollo at 9 o´clock.“
Tara turned pale. Her eyes widen and her body becomes stiff. She felt like she had forgotten how to breathe. What did she say? No, that can´t be. The only person they were calling Apollo was...
„Tara fucking turn around.“ Mindy said between her clenched teeth as she kept looking at the way she told her to look at.
Tara took a big breath trying to calm her beating heart and shot her eyes to the left. There was a group of friends chatting and laughing, they had beers and cups in their hands as they were standing by the side of the room so as not to disturb anybody.
She scanned the group and suddenly saw the familiar figure she had been so desperate to find these past weeks. You were standing there in your civil clothes and cup in your hand. Your bright smile could be seen from every spot of the room, smiling at your friends as you were talking about something, sipping on your drink.
„Tell me I´m not crazy.“ Tara´s eyes kept looking at you as if she was afraid you would disappear again. Her chest kept rising and falling at a fast speed.
„No Tara, you´re definitely not.“ Mindy may only see you from a photo but this was definitely you. You looked far better in a person than in a photo, she must tell.
The young Carpenter turned to Mindy with wide eyes and eyebrows raised. „Oh my God! Oh my God! What do I do?!“ she quickly looked at her clothes if they looked fine. „Do I look good? I don´t have anything between my teeth?“ she smiled widely showing her teeth Mindy to check.
„Stop Tara! Calm down.“ Mindy took her shoulders to make her look at her. „Okay okay stop right now. No, you don´t have anything between your teeth. You´re fine.“
Deep and slow breaths were the next thing she needed to do or she would have another attack and that would be pretty embarrassing. It was just you. Yeah, just the cute doctor who took care of her at the hospital. Yes, only you, as if you were someone special-
Of course, you were special! To her! She wanted to impress you so badly. The girl was always thinking about the ways she would meet you again, what would she say to you, what would she be wearing, and how she would impress you... She looked like a garbage at the moment.
Today Tara didn´t give a fuck about what would her clothes be or how she would style her hair. She just wanted to have a little fun from studying and enjoy the night with her friends.
She looked at your way one more time and your eyes met. You squint your eyes at the girl as if you were trying to remember something. She quickly turned her head to Mindy, a scared look swimming in her eyes.
„Mindy. She saw me.“
„And now she´s making her way here.“
„No, that can´t be real.“
„Oh yes, it is.“
„No no no no.“ Tara shook her head to left and right trying to put herself together. She wasn´t ready to face you. This is not how she imagined your second meeting.
„Hi.“ Mindy looked at you and greeted you back. She took Tara again by her shoulders and turned her to you.
„Hi.“ The short girl said as she was now looking at your pretty eyes. You were smiling at her like you were the first time you saw each other.
„I´m sorry I didn´t wanna disturb but... I think I know you.“ You now lowered your eyebrows a bit and kept scanning Tara´s face.
What? Do you know her? Oh my God, you remember! The girl´s heart started beating in her chest as she now realized that. You wouldn´t remember if she didn´t catch your attention, right? Right?!
„Uhm... I-“
„Oh! I know! You were in a hospital! I knew you were familiar.“ You smiled widely at her, you looked happy that you could remember after all a lot of people came through your hands every day.
Tara breathed out as she looked down. „Yeah,“ she laughed „you got me.“
„Oh, you okay now? You had any complications after?“ You kept asking her as you scanned her face and body, not in a disgusting way. But let´s be honest, Tara wouldn´t mind that either.
The shorter girl smiled softly, playing with her hands as she was softly swaying her body to the sides like a small child. „No no, everything has been fine since then.“ She smiled shyly at you. „Thanks again.“. You just shook your head like she had nothing to thank for. You were just too sweet.
Mindy offered you and your group to be with them and after the introduction, some went to drink more in the kitchen or went to the dance floor. The three of you along with some of your friends were sitting on a couch in a living room with drinks in your hands, talking and laughing at others' dancing skills.
You were so friendly and your friends too, Tara was looking at you the whole time, listening carefully every time you started speaking so none of the words could slip her. The Carpenter didn´t even notice how much alcohol she drank, guess it was because of the stress from your presence but as soon as she stood up, she could feel everything.
Oh no. Her mind was now spinning, „I´m going to the toilet.“ Mindy offered to go with her as she saw her friend's face. She was drunk.
„Oh my God, Mindy.“ These were the first words that left her mouth as she saw herself in a mirror. Her eyes were down and her face was all sweaty from the hot room and alcohol. Tara touched her cheek at the state and turned around to her friend. „I can´t go back looking like this.“ Her mind was spinning and she barely could control her legs. „I´m so fucked up.“
Mindy was behind her smirking, leaning against the bathroom door, clearly dunk as well. „Tomorrow morning will be fun.“ She laughed to herself, eyes closed from the sharp light of the bathroom.
„Hey! Are you even listening to me?“ Tara went to her but stumbled a little. Mindy laughed at her clumsy friend. She wasn´t as drunk as Tara, she could still walk normally. The only thing she was more giggling than usual.
„Come on, it´s fine. Or do you wanna leave Y/N?“ Mindy asked Tara. „Did you forget about how you were these couple of weeks?“.
Right. She can´t do that. She needs to get your number, at least that. They went to the group again but with each step they took the alcohol in their system could be felt more and more. Tara was now so drunk that she laughed at everything she saw. The girl sat beside you again but this time a little more closer than she was before, you turned to her and smiled at her. She giggled at you as she tilted her head a little.
You could see her cheeks were red and her eyes had fallen a little. Every time she was speaking her voice was really loud and her hands were everywhere around the place, even almost smacked you but you were quick to dodge it. Yep, she was drunk.
Tara´s mobile kept vibrating a couple of times but she only ignored that. It was Sam, she was worried about her because they agreed that Tara would inform her every now and then that everything was fine. The first time you caught the notification you wanted to warn Tara about it but then you saw it.
On her wallpaper was your photo from the hospital, the one with all of your colleagues. The photo was zoomed on your smiling figure, it was so cute you wanted to laugh but you couldn´t. You didn´t want to embarrass her so you played like you didn´t see that.
„So...“ Tara hiccuped as she leaned her hand on the back of the couch behind your head. You raised your eyebrows at her as you were trying to hide the smile from how drunk and cute at the same time she was. „How old are you?“ she kept looking into your eyes as if she was trying to seduce you but was cut by a hiccup again.
Laughing at her now you answered her question. „How old do I look?“
„I don´t know, you look really young to be a doctor. You are a doctor? Or you are a student? How old are you?“ Tara squints her eyes at you. You let out a laugh as you threw your head back at her words, closing your eyes in the process.
Tara was drunk smiling at you, showing her dimples. She didn´t know why you were laughing but it was because of her so she didn´t mind. In her head it meant victory. You wiped your unexisting tears and shook your head. „You are so drunk.“
„No, I´m not! Look I can drink more!“ she went to grab a cup that was on the table in front of the couch but you were quick to take it from her hand.
„Absolutely not, you had too much already.“ Tara wanted to argue with you about it but her thoughts were cut by your touch.
„You have really pretty hands. They are much bigger than mine, look!“ she compared your hands and yes, hers were really small.
„And your fingers are so long... I wonder how it would feel inside of-“
Mindy covered her friend's mouth from beside her. She kept listening to your conversation the whole time, making sure Tara wouldn´t say or do something she would be embarrassed about the next day. Something like this.
„Okay, I think we should head home.“ Mindy wanted to pull Tara on her legs but she didn´t want to stand up and leave you. She kept pouting as she sat a little more closer to you almost sitting at your tights.
„Come on, I will go with you.“ You stood up and gently took her hands to help her on her legs. She smiled like a kid and immediately did what you wanted her to do.
 You and Mindy were taking Tara to her home. Sam was now calling Mindy asking about her sister. She had the right to be mad, she let her go to a party under the condition of her texting her if she was alright.
As you were close to the apartment door Mindy left you two so you could be alone. Tara won´t remember it but Mindy for sure will and she will make sure her friend will pay back for this.
„We are already here.“ Tara whined and turned around to look at you as you now stood in front of her door. „I don´t wanna leave you, I wanna be with you.“ The girl hugged your neck as she put her head on your chest to stare into your eyes.
You laughed at her. „Don´t worry, I´m sure we will see each other again.“
„Do you wanna come inside?“ she smirked and dragged her finger around your shoulder, tilting her head to the side softly. The young Carpenter had clearly enough for today.
„You know I can´t Tara.“ You breathe out with a kind smile on your lips.
„I love it when you call my name, it sounds so different, and also your smile and your eyes and-“
The door from her home suddenly opened and there stood Sam. The three of you kept looking at each other shocked written on your faces, waiting till someone made the first move.
„Uhm... hey I´m Y/N, I don´t know if you remember me.“ You smiled kindly at Tara´s sister. She kept studying you a little, then it hit her. Yeah, you were the one from the hospital. You helped Tara and that was all she needed to know.
„Yeah, I remember.“ She then looked at her sister, slowly shaking her head. Tara´s arms were still around you, not caring that her sister could see everything. „Come on Tara.“
The short girl let out a whine not wanting to let you go. She tightened her grip on you and was now looking at you to save her from her angry sister. „You need to let go of me.“ Your voice was so soft, it was only convincing her to stay but your words said otherwise and she needed to listen to you.
Slowly pulling away from and with a point on her lips, eyes big as if you were saying that you will never see her again. You didn´t even leave and she missed you already. The girl just wanted to stay with you.
„Will I see you again?“ Tara asked as she was almost at her apartment looking for your answer. You nodded your head at her, shooting her one of your smiles with a wink.
„Okay... Goodnight.“ She said with a low voice, putting her head down and leaving you in a hallway. Sam turned to you and gave you a tight-lipped smile.
„Thanks for bringing her here.“
„It´s fine, she´s amazing.“ You looked from the way she disappeared to Sam. „I guess I will head home also. Goodnight.“ You waved at her and started to walk away.
The next morning couldn´t be worse. Tara woke up with a terrible headache and the urge to throw up, Sam was giving her silent treatment, Mindy kept teasing her about yesterday and she had no way of contacting you. Like she would do that, the girl was so embarrassed that she just wanted to bury herself deep into the ground.
Afternoon Mindy and Chad came, and they kept making fun of Tara and her flirting skills. Suddenly her phone rang signaling a new message.
Y/N:) :Heyy, hope you feel better
What? How did you get her number? It was really you?
„Mindy? How did you get Y/N´s contact into my phone?“ Her friend looked at her with a confused face. „Did you give her my number?“ Mindy shook her head, still looking muddled.
„Maybe she did it herself.“ She shrugged her shoulders. „At least you have her number finally!“
Yeah, at least something but when did you make it? Oh yeah, she probably left her phone on the couch when she went to the bathroom. But if you got your phone number into her phone that must mean...
„Oh God... please no.“ She put her head into her hands, covering her red face from embarrassment.
You saw that fucking wallpaper.
Taglist: @jensortega813 @isawxxp 🤍
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leviathanspain · 11 months
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anakin smut? where reader is having sexual fantasies about him and he can… feel… it ?🫣
ashamed
anakin skywalker x reader
smut
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you were loud. at least your thoughts were. anakin heard everything, from what you were going to eat for breakfast, to what clothes you’d wear to training.
anakin almost missed it. a small, fleeting thought that meaninglessly floated around in your head, and right into his.
he looks good today..
your thoughts had been heard before he even saw you, and as he turned, there you were, not even looking at him.
anakin’s mouth pulled back into a smirk and he continued to walk, not even bothering to greet you.
it was hard being around him. training had just finished and all you wanted was him. seeing his muscles under those training clothes had left you more than hot and bothered.
you were ravenous.
a jedi was never supposed to engage in any relationships. but it didn’t mean you couldn’t fantasize about it.
you laid on your bed, body worn out after all that training, anakin would be home soon, and he would want to unwind by using you. your body for his, you were willing to let him do whatever he wanted to you.
“hey babe..” his voice trilled as the door shut behind him, carefully you watched him, greeting him back with a smile. but he knew what kind of smile that was, and he was already unbuckling his pants as he walked up.
“what’s wrong?” he had noticed the way you didn’t move off the bed, the way you looked a little breathless. you shrugged slightly, “tough day training.”
anakin’s eyebrows rose, “oh.” you nodded, a small sigh escaping your lips. anakin neared the bed, crawling up by your legs, “maybe i can make you feel better.”
anakin stopped mid sentence. he could taste it. taste something, familiar yet wildly different. anakin dismissed himself from the room full of his superiors and instead went out into the empty hall.
he could feel it. you.
it was you.
anakin inhaled sharply as he felt something graze his crotch, a hand that wasn’t even physically there.
and there was that taste again.
“oh ani..” you moaned out, your words echoed into the room and anakin growled softly, tugging at himself as he lined up with your hole. he had been taking care of you for almost an hour now, fucking you with his mouth until you screamed his name.
now he promised that you wouldn’t dare to forget it.
anakin was slumped down in his room. he had left upon feeling his pants tighten with the size of his erection. now all he could do was trade reality for fantasy as he felt everything you had thought.
he felt it all, and it all left him wanting the real thing. if that’s how you thought about him…
“anakin! don’t stop!” you cried out, gripping his forearms as he thrusted into you, your head crashing into the wall behind you, you groaned softly, “fuck..”
you were writhing on your bed, eyes closed as you let your fantasy play out.
“oh ani!”
a knock suddenly broke your thoughts and you turned, embarrassed, but you got up, knowing they would have no way of knowing what you had been doing.
picturing your jedi master in that way? incred-
“anakin!” the unexpected sight of him at the door, sweating, disheveled, and his robes barely hanging on, he stomped into the room before you could even ask why he was there.
“why didn’t you tell me you wanted me to fuck you?” there it was. it was like nails on a chalkboard.
“what?” your face got red immediately, heat burned on it and you laughed weakly, closing the door, you walked over to him, but you kept your distance, “what are you talking about?”
anakin rolled his eyes, “don’t try and lie to me. i could hear you, i could feel you. i need this to end-“ your face turned into a grimace and you closed your eyes with absolute shock at the revelation, “just let me fuck you. i cant-“ anakin pulled his robes back and highlighted his cock, which was fighting the fabric.
you stared at anakin, “but-“
anakin didn’t even bother to say anything more as he pulled you into his arms, kissing you swiftly as he threw you down.
“don’t be ashamed.”
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rosebudfics · 4 months
Note
Sev being in a bad mood because sirius kept bothering him at an order meeting so u go upstairs and let him absolutely RAIL you
(Bonus if everyone hears reader just screaming for him and the next day is super awkward)
🔞Relieving Aggravation🔞
Snape x f! Reader
Warnings: established relationship, smut, swearing, f! Receiving oral, fingering, praise, p in v, isn't actually said in the fic but reader is on the pill, lemme know if i missed anything
A/N: UWGDE!#GV@UD#!VGUF MY FIRST EVER SMUT REQUEST OMGGG IM SO EXCITED, hope i did this request justice!!
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You were sitting awkwardly in the middle of sirus and Severus as they bickered, Severus snapping at him while Sirius mocked him. You tried to diffuse the conversation a couple times to no avail, just quietly going back to eating the food Molly had made.
"Took you this long to land a girl, did it snape? Quite embarrassing if you ask me"
"Black, you better shut your mouth before I gut you and feed you to aragog!" Severus seethed from beside you
"Oh someone's a little feisty-" Sirius was then cut off by Molly hitting him over the head and scolding him.
"No fighting at the table, BOTH of you" she glanced over at Severus too before heading back to the kitchen to clean up.
You sigh and stand up. "I just need to go to the washroom." Then you walked upstairs to the bathroom. Severus watched as you left, then glared at sirius before going back to eating his food. Sirius made a face at him before doing the same.
You were sitting in the bathroom, rinsing your face with water to cool off. Why did Sirius black always have to be such an asshole?
"Because he's pathetic." A cold but soft voice said behind you. You jumped, looking back at Severus who was leaning against the doorframe.
"Dont scare me like that!" You huffed. "Wait, i didnt say that out loud did i-"
Severus hushed you and moved closer and kissed you softly, gripping your hips slightly. You could tell he was frustrated and tense, so you got an idea.
"How about we go into the bedroom and relieve some aggravation?..~" You purred into his ear.
He let out a soft breath, before stepping back and looking down the hall to make sure no one was looking, and he then grabbed your arm firmly but gently and dragged you to the bedroom that Molly saved for you both.
He throw you onto the bed as soon as you got into the room. "Clothes. Off. Now." He ordered as he swished his wand, locking the door but forgetting the silencing charm.
You happily obliged and immediately started stripping, throwing your clothes to the floor. He took off his robes leaving his black shirt for now, and as soon as you were done stripping he got down on his knees and dragged you closer to the edge of the bed, wrapping your legs around his shoulders.
Severus then delved in, licking up the juices from your dripping pussy. You let out a moan when he ran his tongue along your clit before using his two middle fingers to start to push inside your wet walls.
"Severus.. f-fuck..!" You threw your head back as he started to ram his fingers inside of you, moving his tongue faster on your clit.
"Is my baby enjoying this? Do you enjoy me fucking my fingers into your sweet cunt?" He asked, his words sending a vibration through your core.
"Sev... oh fuck yes, just like that.." You whimpered, tangling your fingers through his hair. After a couple minutes you felt it creeping closer.
"F-fuck, shit I'm close baby, so fuckin close.." You whined, letting out grunts and moans.
Just as you were getting to the good part, he pulled away, pulling his fingers from your pussy. You whined at the loss as you watched him stand up, licking the juices off his fingers. He then preceded to take off his clothes until he was completely bare.
He kneeled over you, grabbing your hips and moving you up the bed so he was comfortable. He took his dick in his hand as he whispered in your ear. "Thats a good girl, such a good girl for me.."
Without warning, he pushed in slowly, letting out a soft gasp when he filled you completely. "H-hah... fuck.."
You let out a whine as you wrapped your arms and legs around him, before he started moving. It only took and couple seconds before he was slamming into you at an ungodly pace.
"S-Severus oh FUCK" you squealed, throwing your head back as he started to latch his mouth onto your neck.
"F-feel so good baby... shit!.." Severus groaned as he took your hands and pinned them above your head.
You let out a small scream as the bed started to creak and knock into the wall, thrashing around a little but not wanting to leave
You recognised the familiar stutter in his thrusts as he was getting closer, and you wrapped your legs around him to keep him secure.
"A-ah fuck y/n, dont know how much.. l-longer..-" Severus then let out a loud groan as he finished inside you, his hips still snapping into yours to ride out the high. He reached down and strted rubbing fast circles on your clit clit you let out a small squeal squeal you finished, clamping down on him.
"A-ah.. fuck sakes..." Severus collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily. "I love you.. thank you..." He started blubbering out praises as he caressed your body.
Little did they know, due to the lack of a silencing spell everyone downstairs had heard the exchange os pleasure, leaving them traumatised and awkward.
"Sounds like they had a bloody good time" Sirius scoffed, earning an elbow to the side from remus.
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hyunnie04 · 4 months
Text
puppy love
inspired by that one scene in skip and loafer where mitsumi pets shima's hair;; not my best but its cute jskfdh
kim seungmin x reader
genre: fluff, non-idol au
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you have been staring at seungmin the entire day. not because of anything bad, it’s just that there's this one thing that has been bothering you lately. propping your fist against your chin, you let out a burdened sigh.
ever since he had dyed his hair this captivating caramel color at the start of senior year, which was only a few weeks ago, you can’t seem to get your eyes off him. 
the change was refreshing, like seeing him in a completely different light. it had suited him so well, the blondish gold complemented his features like it was supposed to be like that from the start.
whenever you would place your curious gaze on him, the gears in your mind start turning, unable to place your finger on what it reminded you of. it had definitely started to become sort of a routine for you.
you’re also pretty sure seungmin had figured out you have been burning holes at the back of his head during lectures or lunch. he would sometimes look back at you with a quirk of his lip and a questioning gaze, making you shift your focus to somewhere else, cheeks reddening like a child catching glimpses of their crush.
but now you are sure he looked like someone. but who? you’re trying to figure that out yourself.
you don’t know where this sudden fascination with his hair came from, was it because it made him look so handsome? or maybe the way it looked very cute whenever it flopped around when he moved? 
confused feelings for the caramel haired boy aside, you decide to let it go.
you were hanging out with the man himself and a bunch of other friends one afternoon and started scrolling through your phone. they wouldn’t mind, seeing as to how all of them were currently preoccupied with playing a board game.
“hey, you can’t just do that! you have to give me money!”
“i can do whatever i want!”
you subconsciously block the noise coming from your rowdy friends, very much used to the chaotic nature. your thumb landed on a really adorable picture of your sweet little puppy back at home, already missing him. a thought instantly strikes you.    
you look up from your phone. and then to seungmin. and then back to your phone. 
it’s the exact same?!
you’ve finally cracked it. he looked exactly like your family dog. comparing him to an actual dog sounded mean, but you meant this genuinely as a compliment, you absolutely adored your golden retriever puppy- haru, more than your own family. the longer you thought about it, it’s sweet demeanor and honey colored coat resembled kim seungmin right in front of you.
after thinking about this revelation, you kept it to yourself, out of context it could sound mean. the last thing you wanted was to offend someone when you meant it in an endearing way.
so upon walking home one day, hurried footsteps trailed behind yours, prompting you to turn to see who it was. it was seungmin himself, his hair flopping in the wind, resembling the cutest pair of puppy ears.
he finally stopped, panting heavily after chasing you for a good while now. he straightened up, opening his adorable mouth to say something to you.
you couldn’t help yourself, the thought of wanting to feel his soft looking hair.
“haru-” you cover your mouth as soon as the words left it, extremely mortified to have said it out loud.
“haru? who’s that?” seungmin teases your increasingly flustered state. “are you mistaking me for someone else?” it was too late, you have to explain now.
“no...its...my…family’s dog…” you blurted out, embarrassed of saying it in front of him. you had fully expected him to get mad but he doesn’t. instead, seungmin lets out a chuckle, his eyes crinkling in what seems to be delight.
“well, my hair is really soft.” he watches your face morph into confusion as he tucks his hands coyly into his pockets. he wasn’t mad?
 “do you want to touch? you've been staring at it all week.”
seungmin wasn’t known for being touchy with his friends or anyone for that matter so you can imagine the shock on your face when he leans down to your level, silently allowing you to do so.
placing a hesitant touch on his honey hued locks with one hand, you slowly bring your other to ruffle his head, really going at it and much like you would do to haru. a grin graces your features as his strands get messed up, absolutely elated that you now know what his hair feels like.
once you were done, he straightens up and pats his messy hair back in its place as best as he can. seungmin quietly wraps an arm around your shoulder, as if nothing happened.
“got it out of your system?” you nod gleefully.
“good, now i can ask you out for a date.”
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skzhua · 11 months
Text
Episode seven.
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MASTERLIST
pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader
genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.
word count: 2.8k
warnings: Kind of suggestive, reader is in denial, lowkey cringe but it's cute y'all, I promise.
summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.
note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone
(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)
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You didn't remember how and when you got home. The last thing you knew was that Q had found you among the crowd of students and that you almost passed out then. That would explain why you were back in your room with the worst headache you had ever experienced. You truly woke up when Kitty gasped as she sat right up on her bed. She got up and shook your body but you groaned in pain. Concluding you were not going to get up, she left to go to Q, leaving the door of your room opened. It allowed you to hear everything.
"Q! I have something to tell you, get up!" Kitty hurriedly said.
Another door opened only for Min Ho to yell at his friend. "Q! Did you drink my collagen water?" He got no response other than an annoyed groan. "Or was it you?"
"What? No." Kitty answered.
By then, you made no effort to stay in bed as your roommates couldn't keep their voices down. You walked to the kitchen and laid your head on the counter as you kept listening to them.
"My collagen water is meant to keep my skin dewy. Not rehydrating people who can't handle their liquor."
"My God, why are you screaming?" Q whined. "It's the middle of the night and I'm still drunk."
"No, it's not. It's 8 in the morning."
"Already?" you whined as well.
"Yes. And thanks to some idiot, my party dynasty has come to an untimely end, so yeah, I am in a mood." he sighed.
"Are you in a mood to make me coffee?" Q pouted.
"Yes, but I will deeply resent you."
Your head shot up at the mention of the drink. "Will you be an angel and make me a cup too?"
He deadpanned at you. "And now you want my help. Fine but don't complain if it's not to your liking."
He walked around the counter and started to prepare everything. You yawned loudly and he shushed you, but you still yawned again.
"For crying out loud, will you stop?"
"Your party, your fault. I didn't even want to go in the first place."
"Ah yeah? And yet, you still came and denied me when I was trying to be nice to you for once. I'd say the alcohol played a big part in it, just as much as to why you're so unpleasant this morning."
You laughed sarcastically. "Aren't you being nice now..."
"I am. Here's your coffee." he said rudely as he placed the mug in front of you.
You hopped off the stool to go to the living space while he followed after to give Q his coffee and you dropped on the seat lazily. Him and Kitty seemed to be having an interesting chat as they argued whether she had a sex dream or not.
"Was it about Dae?" you joined in and she denied quickly. "Okay, not Dae."
"No, no. I didn't say I had a sex dream."
Min Ho also joined as he gave Q his cup and stood next to you, leaning on your chair.
"Okay, you didn't have to. Spill." Q insisted.
"It doesn't even matter because dreams don't mean anything."
"She's right." Min Ho jumped in rather quickly. "They don't mean anything. You can have a sex dream about someone you hate in real life."
"Yes, yes, exactly. Thank you, Min Ho. He could have a sex dream about, um, Y/N!"
You heard Min Ho choke on his coffee and you facepalmed. "What the..."
Q looked up in thoughts and bopped his head towards you. "He had a sex dream about you."
"No, I didn't." he dismissed. "If I did have a sex dream about Y/N, it'd be a sex nightmare."
"Oh gosh." you shut your eyes in embarrassment.
"I'm not hearing a denial." Q pointed out.
"It doesn't matter because dreams don't mean anything." he repeated.
"Exactly. I hate mayo." Kitty said.
"And I hate Y/N."
You winced at how loud he was while being right next to you. Q gave you a knowing look and you huffed at how intense this morning was for no reason.
"Sex dreams mean something." he smiled mischievously.
Someone then knocked at the door. You and Kitty rushed back to your room to hide only to hear Finnerty come in. Saying you were in big trouble, he informed the guys about an eight hour long detention you had to attend because of the party. You cried out and let yourself fall face first into your blankets.
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"I blame this on you and Q. I wouldn't have come if you minded your business and left me alone."
Kitty chuckled. "Did you have fun, though?"
"I guess? Mostly but I wouldn't have minded staying home."
You stepped in the library together, Professor Lee having started the detention already. You sat at a table and started to pull your things out of your bag. Most of it were your notes to study for your upcoming exams. It didn't feel like it quite yet, but the end of the semester was nearing.
"You have your friend, Miss Song Covey, to thank for that." he said which caused for everyone to gasp, including yourself. "That's right. She was kind enough to alert me to last night's shenanigans."
He held out his hand for the two of you to give your phones and you complied.
"It was you?"
"It was you?"
Both Min Ho and you looked at each other weirdly after saying the same thing at the same time. Kitty chuckled awkwardly.
"This could be fun, though." she tried to cheer up. "Like The Breakfast Club, right?"
She only received glares from the others. You shook your head in disappointment and opened your books to focus on something else other than her.
Somehow, Madison found her way to detention and sat down at Min Ho's table, waving at him cutely. The girl never particularly bothered you much but with what happened the night prior, you weren't on her good side. It shouldn't even affect you this much. Min Ho had the right to do whatever he wanted on his own time.
"Hey, babe. Last night was memorable." you overheard her say to him.
Okay, maybe it did get to you more than necessary.
He cleared his throat in uneasiness. "Why are you even in here? You didn't get caught at the party."
She gave him a knowing look and you decided to step into their conversation. "Yeah, how did you not get caught?"
"Please, I've snuck out of every window in every boarding school."
Professor cut your discussion short and asked them to give him their phones. Min Ho was staring at you again in the process and mouthed something to you that you couldn't comprehend. He did it again but you were still clueless; he dropped it eventually.
"Hey." Dae called out to your table. "Kitty, did you talk to Yuri?"
She opened her eyes wide. "Yuri? Why would I talk to Yuri? I barely know her. I don't want to talk with Yuri or do anything else with her." she rambled on until her eyes laid on the said-person.
You swore the day could get any weirder than it was, but here you were. Being moody already, you decided to focus on your books instead, diving right back into studying. It didn't last, though. You heard your name being whispered loudly along with a couple of 'psst'. And you would recognize that voice anywhere now. Your eyes found their way to meet his and you were surprised to see an empty chair next to him, Madison having disappeared. He bopped his head to the place next to him but you shook your head. He gave you a look and, with a heavy sigh, you took your stuff and went to sit with him.
"Where's your girlfriend?" you asked.
"She's not my girlfriend. And I told her to sit somewhere else." he pointed to another table where, indeed, she was now sat at.
"So now you can bother me for the next eight hours, great."
"I won't even be allowed to talk with you."
You raised an eyebrow. "There's no point in sitting with you, then."
He shook his head. "I think we need to go over some things you and I?"
"For the chemistry lab? I already explained it to you."
He grunted out of frustration. "No. About you and I."
Lee shushed everyone which restrained you from asking Min Ho what he meant by that. As detention began, you actually did study. Min Ho tried to poke your hand a few times to get your attention but you always dismissed his attempts.
A few hours had passed and you had already gone over most of the stuff you needed to do. As for Min Ho, he scribbled something on a paper for a while. Writing, erasing, writing again... You weren't sure what he was doing but it seemed to keep him occupied. But when he passed the note to you, you became doubtful. You gave it back to him, not wanting to play his little game. He pushed it back to you only for you to do the same. The back and forth lasted until Lee announced he was needed at the gymnasium. After putting Madison in charge since she wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place, he took off.
"You heard him, eyes down." she said, earning groans from the other students.
When he was completely out of the library, however, she stopped pretending and told you all to do whatever. Still, no one moved and kept quiet, uncertain on what to do.
"What? Haven't any of you gotten stuck in a Saturday detention and kept the party going when your teacher leaves the room?" Getting shaking heads as a response, she gasped. "Oh, y'all are so cute. Okay, poker game will start in the World History section, make-outs move in the back by the rare books. I like an organized chaos. Go!" she finished with clasping her hands together.
Everyone moved and started to chat, some continued to study – you included.
"Y/N, can we-" Min Ho started but Madison coming up to him cut him off.
"You, me. Rare books." she whispered to him before grabbing his arm. "Let's go."
"Wait, what?" he broke away from her.
She frowned. "No?"
He glanced at you briefly. "No, find someone else."
She sighed. "So you were serious earlier. No messing around, I see."
She left to go to the stairs where people were starting to lay out their poker game. Min Ho scooted closer to you but you didn't dare to look at him.
"Can we talk now?"
You shrugged. "There's nothing to talk about."
With a frustrated sigh, he grabbed your arm and dragged you out of your chair. You complained but he kept leading you deep into the library, almost reaching the rare books.
"Would you stop pretending for once? Gosh, you're annoying." he said once you reached a spot behind a bookshelf.
"You're going straight to the point, aren't you?"
"Yes because I know you won't. What did you want to tell me last night?" he asked before crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Nothing important... Just that I'm sorry for being rude when you simply wanted to help me with Dongmin."
He grinned. "See? You can be grateful at times."
"Yeah, yeah... But now, I also want to apologize for interrupting your make-out session with Madison."
He grunted. "It was one kiss."
"Yeah, and now it's 'babe', 'last night was memorable' and 'join me by the rare books' type of situation." you scoffed.
"It was one kiss." he repeated. "And I don't even like her, so."
"But somehow, you're together? Make it make sense."
He rolled his eyes. "She made it all up in her mind, I swear."
"Sure."
A smirk slowly grew on his face. "Are you jealous, puppy?"
You felt the blood rush to your cheeks. "You wish I was."
"Hmm, pretty sure you are."
With Professor Lee coming back, you rushed to sit right back where you were. Kitty and Yuri had vanished and you wondered what happened to them. The teacher announced that it was lunch time and gave you a paper to write down your orders. Giving it to Dae first, you and Min Ho joined him at his table.
"What are you going to eat?" you asked him.
"I don't know." he shrugged. "How can I think about food when I'm going crazy wondering what Kitty and Yuri are up to."
"I asked myself the same." you hummed.
"Whatever it is, it's none of our business." Min Ho said.
Dae nodded and took the paper for the food orders. "You're right. I guess I'll just order their lunch."
He started to write but seeing what he was putting for Kitty, you stopped him. "She likes tuna gimbap."
"Without mayo." Min Ho added.
Dae gave you both a weird look. "Since when are you Kitty experts?"
"Since we have to live with her, thanks to someone."
You hit his arm and he grunted while Dae gave you the clipboard. "He's kidding, he loves living with her."
He scoffed. "Let's say I do. I know what you'll have."
"No, you don't."
"So you weren't just about to put in kimchi gimbap with jjajangmyeon?" he sneered at you making you stop writing to glare at him. "I'm right, no?"
"You are." you admitted and gave the sheet to the next table.
"Hey, what are you doing? I didn't write mine."
"I did it for you. Bulgogi kimbap? Extra kimchi?"
He grinned at you. "I'm impressed, not going to lie."
You smiled back and your eyes lingered on each other for a second too long. Dae observed in confusion.
"Did I miss something about you two?"
Min Ho only let out a hum. While Professor Lee announced he'd do a roll call, Dae started to panic. With the girls not being here, he whispered for help to the tables around. Florian was kind enough to be a suck up to the teacher and Lee left to go get a book. That left the rest of you in Madison's charge, meaning being totally free.
Min Ho took your hand and went back to the bookshelf you were at minutes ago. You knew what was coming; he wanted to finish what you had started to discuss. Crossing his arms again, he waited for you to speak.
"What do you want me to say?" you whined, getting annoyed by his behaviour.
"With Madison, were you jealous or not?"
You groaned. "This isn't close to being important to know."
He took a step closer to you. "For me, it is."
Your breath hitched. His figure hovering you, just like that time on Chuseok, it felt too personal to be a casual move. You didn't want to look at him, but he didn't stand that. Bringing his hand to your chin, he lifted your head up so you were finally eye to eye. If you weren't blushing already, you definitely were now.
"What if I wasn't? Then what?"
He thought for a moment. "Then that is it. We act as if this conversation never happened."
You hummed. "And... if I was?"
He smirked. "Wouldn't you like to find out?"
"Min Ho, please."
His eyes softened. "Then it'd be very difficult for me to not kiss you."
Something snapped in you. While a second ago you would have donne anything to keep him away the furthest from you, now all you wanted to do was to smash your lips against his. So you did just that, kissed him right away. He was startled by your boldness but it didn't take him long to kiss you back, bringing your body closer to his by your waist. It felt like every pound that had been weighting on your shoulders was gone, all the bizarre tension gone. You wondered if this was only one of his jokes to mock you afterwards but you were too immersed in the moment to care.
Unfortunately, it came to an end when someone shouted that Professor Lee was back again. You broke away from Min Ho's embrace to walk back to the tables.
"Let's go."
He held your wrist and shook his head. "Just one more minute." he said and pecked your lips.
"Lee's coming."
He huffed. "You're no fun."
You shrugged your shoulders. "We'll play later, puppy."
You swore you had never seen his eyes get darker so fast. "I like that idea."
taglist: @nanaspalette | @schniti-is-in-the-house | @bakugou-katsukis-wife | @soobin-chois | @honeydewpie | @snoozeagustd | @justemalove | @n1ninunwo0 | @loislucky | @kuromomomi | @lysira340 | @lenilla15 | @upsidedownjill | @woozarts | @hy-eins | @olivetheoryx | @b1tch1macow | @dreaming-hope25 | @jiaant11 | @melsunshine | @sincerely-aaronette | @wonyofanclub | @jaehyunicecream | @zucchinimalfoy | @beeomgui | @jinxwhore28 | @mimisamisasa | @gordorio | @honeyisnotreal | @elliesinterlude | @melonshifts
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Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.
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femd-archive · 4 months
Text
THE DUMB HERO
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pairing: omniscient reader's viewpoint — lee hyunsung x fem!reader
word counting: 0.9k
content warning: both hyunsung and reader are soldiers in korea's army | kinda risky sex? but not really lol | pegging | slight nipple play | reader calls hyunsung's pecs 'tits' | feminization | dumbification | hands-free cumming | mention of pregnancy | aftercare
summary: you fuck hyunsung so dumb that he thinks you got him pregnant
side note: english is not my first lenguage, so i apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes
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With so little strenght, you push both of your bodies inside Hyunsung's room and close the door behind you, clumsly putting the lock on as you kept kissing your needy boyfriend.
Pulling apart, you attack Hyunsung's neck, making him bit his bottom lip. "I-I don't t-think we should do this here" he managed to say as he fights back the moans in the back of his throat.
"Why baby?" you grin against the skin of his neck. "Worried that the rookies might come back earlier? Don't worry, I send them to a 45 minutes morning run, and after that, they need to attend kitchen and laundry duties" you left another kiss on his jawline as you start to unbutton his uniform shirt. "That give us more than an hour, and I can work with that to make you feel good" you leave a little peck on his pouty lips, discarding his shirt from his body and throwing it in some part of the floor's room.
"Abuse of power" is the only thing that Hyunsung mumbles, making you chuckle as you grab him by his thick thighs.
He wraps his arms around your neck and jumps to your arms, wrapping his legs around your waist as he lets you guide the both of you to his bed and laying him in the matress.
Between lots of kisses and a few whispers of 'I love you', both of you ended up naked as you carried your pink strap-on on your hips. Hyunsung watched you with heart on his eyes as you lubed the dildo up, all while holding his legs up to his chest, waiting for you to fuck him.
"Ready, baby?" you ask, finally putting the lub bottle on the side and move between his legs. He nods cutely, making you smile and unable to resist the urge of kissing hum. Bending down, you leave a kiss on his lips which he returns. "You've been waiting for this, love?" you ask as you guide the tip of the dildo to his lubed hole.
"Yes love" he sighs dreamily, closing his eyes and throwing his head back as he feels half of it going in. "Been so good...fuck me?" he asks, looking at you with those puppy-like teary eyes. How could you say no to such a cutie?
"Gladly" you shortly answer before thrusting was left of the dildo inside of your boyfriend, smiling at the way his eyes roled back as he let out a silent gasp. "Gonna fuck you full, yeah?" you grunt, starting to move your hips on fast pace.
Soon, the room fills up with Hyunsung embarrassing moans and the sound of your thighs slapping against his ass. The bed squeaks slightly, maybe loud enough for somebody to hear if they lean over the door, but not enough to be perceive so easily.
Hyunsung wrap his strong legs around your waist, pulling you closer and not letting you go. You reach out to his pecs, squeezing them before moving your fingers to play with his nipples.
"Look at your tits baby, they're so big" you chuckle, hearing him whimper. "They would be perfect to feed babies" you simply comment before slightly slapping his right peck, resuming back your thrusts.
Through teary eyes, Hyunsung looked at you and then back at his redden tits. In his fuzzy mind, the image of forming a family with you popped surronded by flowers and rainbows. Besides the pool of pleasure that formed in his tummy, his chest also swollen with love at the thought of carrying your kids on him and, after they were born, to cradle them in his arms, breastfeeding him with his big tits.
His left hand moves to his low stomach, where his 'womb' is as you kept on fucking him.
You give the last few thrusts as you see the thick ropes of cum shot all over your boyfriend's abs and chest, smiling at his ruined state. If only his soldiers saw how pathetic their lieutenant is, but this was a sight for you only.
Leaving a kiss on his cheek, you pull out of him, earning a whimper because of the empty feeling left on him. Taking the strap-on off, you leave on the side, deciding to clean it later for you to be able to take care of your boyfriend in his state.
"You okay, baby?" you ask, leaving a kiss on his forehead as you clean the cum out of his torso.
"Mmh, feeling so full" he slurs as he softly pats his stomach, now full of your babies. "What do you want it to be? A boy or girl?" he asks, caressing his tummy with circle movements as he looks dreamily at it.
You stop your own movements for a second, looking at him in shock. He looks back at you, a loving gaze meeting yours along with his cute tired smile, and there is where it hits you. «Oh, he's completely out of it» you think to yourself, as well as something new awakens in you. It wouldn't be bad to see your adorable Hyunsung with a swollen belly walking around.
"Mmh, a boy, so I can look at a mini version of you everyday" you answer back, finishing cleaning him up and tossing the wipes into the trash can besides the bed.
"Oh ~ I also want a girl for her to have all your features, and be as beautiful as her mama" he chuckles, voice slurred and dazed.
You finish putting him on some fresh briefs before moving beside him to cuddle him under the bed sheets. "Guess we'll just gotta wait to know what it's gonna be, right?"
"Mmh, but we're gonna love them regardless of who they are" he whispers, feeling his heavy eyes finally lose to the sleep.
Hearing his soft breathing you smile, leaving another kiss on his forehead as you cuddle him closer. "That's right, love"
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[taglist] @tomiokx (sorry it took me so long TT i had terrible writer's block for a while. but here it is :D hope you like it ^^)
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jals-stuff · 19 days
Note
dudeeee orter is SOOO overworked it's crazy. man just looks like a stick and he can probably sleep while standing it's almost scary 💀 love him tho!
IKR man can probably sleep with his eyes open too, just imagine laying in bed and he's sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room with his eyes wide open but he's sleeping LMAO best sleep paralysis demon tbh. your ask did inspire me tho thank you anon ♥ just a very short one!
word count: 900 ish
Train ride.
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"Are we there yeeet?"
Your voice took him out of his intense focus as he looked up from his book, golden eyes narrowing in annoyance at your childish whine. You had been Orter's teammate for about a year and a half, so he was pretty much used to it now.
"Will you stop asking? The train left less than an hour ago."
A deep sigh escapes your lips and you rest your head against the table in sheer boredom. It was your idea, after all, not to bring any distractions because what's a few hours long train trip anyway? Nothing you can't handle, or so you thought.
The two of you were on your way back to the Bureau after a long, exhausting mission that should've been mainly investigation, but had somehow escalated into a wild goose chase after the main suspect had ran away.
Your eyes shot up to look at him but his attention was already back on his book. Out of curiosity, you switched your seat and plopped down next to him to read a few lines of it— which was dumb, he was already midway through the book.
His eyes travelled to your form for a few seconds before he resumed his reading, not minding your closeness as long as you wouldn't disturb him. "Why didn't you bring a book? Or... whatever things you allow yourself to be entertained by."
You shrugged dismissively as your eyes kept carefully following the lines. How interesting is it that the human brain can make something this boring look so enticing whenever there are no other distractions around?
"It's fine... I can read your book, too."
He decided not to respond and flipped the page to keep reading. What was interesting, however, was to know what kind of books Orter likes to read, even though you couldn't really guess what the story was about right now.
"Aren't you tired?"
He adjusted his glasses on his nose and quietly cleared his throat.
"What gave you this impression?"
Answering him that "oh, your reading speed is slower than usual, your hair is just a little messy and you blink very slowly" would be admitting that you've been staring a little too long at his handsome features.
"...call it a hunch." You chuckled softly at your own thoughts and he raised an eyebrow but didn't dig any deeper.
He flipped yet another page after a while, but it was just a little too quick for you.
"Hey, hey, I wasn't done! ..let me hold the book on this side." He sighed deeply but knew very well that if he didn't abide to your tantrum, you would probably be more annoying.
So here you were, holding half of a book while he held the other part of it. Your thumb was holding the page a little deeper than necessary to make sure the book wouldn't escape your grasp or that he wouldn't try to turn a page without asking.
Another page flipped, and you found yourself quite relaxed, your shoulder resting against his, reading peacefully... until he was done with the page you were holding— or almost.
You see, your thumb was covering a small part of it, and instead of asking out loud, his hand made his way to yours and he gently brushed your thumb aside so he could keep reading.
Needless to say, you were really agitated now. You decided to let him turn the page, unable to focus on the story any further and trying to control this embarrassing blush that had crept on your face.
No questions were asked, and he flipped the page again. You tried to read the first few words again, but it now felt like you were fully aware of his shoulder against yours, of his leg against your own on the train's sofa, and of his soft sighs as he kept on reading.
You really did try to keep reading for a long time, and you realised Orter hadn't flipped the page in a while now. Was he... waiting for you? You were about to apologise for taking so long when you felt his head against your shoulder.
He hadn't let go of the book, but he was now peacefully asleep, looking very relaxed against your shoulder.
His warm, soft breathing against your neck only made you more flustered, but it was somehow extremely soothing. You carefully removed his glasses and folded them on the table.
You slowly pushed the bookmark inbetween the pages and closed the book, sliding it on the table as he let his hand fall back to his lap.
Now, to see which of you would be more embarrassed when he would wake up...
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After three or so hours, his eyes fluttered open, only to be greeted with an unusually blurry vision... where were his glasses?
As he was about to reach for them, he felt some kind of weight against him and, upon further inspection, it seemed to be your limp figure, sleeping with your head on top of his.
One movement too quickly made and your head fell from his, landing on his shoulder and visibly not disturbing your sleep enough for you to wake up. You only gave a quiet groan as you softly nuzzled him.
He gave a deep sigh as he looked at you and your messy hair, eyes closed and looking so peaceful...
He mindlessly brushed a few strands of hair away from your face, gently placing them behind your ear, his thumb lingering a little against your cheek as he chuckled quietly.
He rested his head on top of yours and closed his eyes again. The ride wasn't over yet, surely he could indulge in a bit more of this temporary peace, right..?
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l0v3tast3 · 1 year
Text
here to help — spike spiegel
spike can't help but say yes when you ask him to help you with something so nicely.
✎ tags: mdni!, smut, female reader, cat girl!reader, dub-con if you squint, smoking, spike's eye wasn't the only thing experimented on (wink), pet names, spike is kind of a perv but in a hot way, very brief mentions of blood, dacryphilia, bit of a size kink, he's nice in a mean way, unsafe sex, fluff at the end
✎ word count: 3.8k (proofread this time wowie!)
✎ author's note: i know i haven't posted anything in a month oops sorry ヾ(´ ▽ ` ) ... anyways i'm back and still working on call of duty stuff for those who follow me for that! but i'm also gonna start writing for jujutsu kaisen and cowboy bebop now yippee!
masterlist
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spike really, really hated sharing a wall with you right now.
being the latest addition to the bebop, the room next to spike's had been the only empty one left, and you were just so sweet. he had just grumbled a "fine" and went on with his day, thinking that you were agreeable enough to live next to.
you were quiet, certainly more-so than faye; he had reasoned with himself that that was why he said yes. not that your pointed cat ears atop your head and fluffy tail that flicked side to side and curled when you were happy was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.
you had sheepishly explained them when it was just you and him in the living room. he had asked what the deal was with "all that", and you had twiddled your thumbs in your lap and told him about the medical tests gone very wrong. he had started scolding faye and jet whenever they made jokes after that, and kept ed away from poking at you.
now, though, you were anything but quiet.
spike could hear every moan and gasped breath you uttered through the thin wall, his bed of course pressed up against it. he could hear the sounds of you desperately fingering yourself, wet noises between your voiced frustrations. you must have been soaked.
he wasn't stupid; he had figured it out pretty quick. after the first night, when faye had knocked on your door to drag you out and you said you were sick, he knew you were lying. after the second night he realized you were in heat.
this was now the third night in a row, and he was exhausted. it was hard to get any sleep with you practically crying out in his ear, making him painfully hard throughout the whole night. at least he knew now why you would disappear for a week every month you'd been here. this time, though, the bebop just had to be out of fuel, unable to get to the nearest planet with a hotel.
spike was fed up.
he was just going to go over to your door and tell you to be quiet. right? well, he didn't want to embarrass you. but you had to know he could hear you. you had to know he could hear everything, even the whines of his name that you were poorly attempting to keep quiet.
your door stood in front of him and spike was unsure of what to do, more than he had been in a long while. should he knock? just yell and hope you hear?
he was about to just turn away when the door slid open; he hadn't even realized you'd gone quiet. he just stared in shock, mouth hanging open as he processed the fact that the only thing you were wearing was one of his shirts.
"spike," you sighed, as if just seeing him gave you some kind of relief. your eyes were glazed and wet like you were on the verge of crying.
it took him several moments to recover. "you're... being loud," he finally managed to say.
"'m sorry," you muttered, looking down. "can't help it, it just hurts."
"you need some help?"
spike was just as surprised as you seemed to be by the words that had just come out, but your breathy voice, wet thighs, and having been already thinking about this for awhile won him over.
"are- are you serious?"
"wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it." he was walking forward into your doorframe, tall enough that he almost had to slouch. it made him very aware of just how small you were compared to him. "do you want my help?"
you nodded, backing up as he slid the door shut behind him and moved closer to you. when you were at the edge of your bed and couldn't back up anymore, he came close enough to cup your face with his hands and bend down until your lips were a hair's breadth apart.
"you gotta say it, sweetheart."
your hands were on his bare chest, nails almost digging in. "yes, please, need your help, spike-"
he pushed his lips into yours and you let out the sweetest moan he'd ever heard. his hands were running through your hair, down your back and to your waist and under your (his) shirt, swallowing your noises the entire time.
breaking your kiss to pull off your shirt, he marveled at the sight of you. he was laying you down on your bed and biting and licking down your body before he knew it, until he kneeled between your legs, pushing them up to get a better view.
your hands were already in his unruly hair to try and tug him to where you needed him to be, but he didn't budge. instead he brought his hand down from under your knee, each grazing touch closer to your core making you twitch.
"shit, you're so sensitive, baby," he muttered. his fingers had barely touched your clit and you were already crying out.
"please, spike, please just do something," you whimpered when his hand went back to your thigh.
"what do you want me to do, hm?"
"something, anything, please spike!" he almost felt bad when tears started welling up in your eyes again. almost.
"anything?" he echoed with a giddy smile.
he slid two fingers inside you easily. you were practically dripping wet, a damp spot already forming underneath you. he cursed again as he felt how tight you were, watching your back arch almost immediately.
"ha-a, ah! spike!"
your voice was music to his ears, a song he wanted to play on loop forever. he'd been imagining it, your whimpers and pleas, for months now. it was about time the universe paid him back.
it took less than a minute for you to cum, your body going stiff and your voice choking. spike almost came himself when he felt your pussy contracting around his fingers.
he gave you barely any time to recover before he was licking up your juices, sucking on your clit and pushing his tongue into you. you just about screamed, but you didn't push him away, only pulled him closer, one hand leaving his hair to claw at any skin you could reach.
you were already reduced to a babbling mess and he couldn't stop muttering about just how sweet and addicting you were.
"fuuuck, sweetheart," he dragged out, finally detaching himself from your clit after you'd came twice more. "can't get enough of you."
spike stood up and you whined, sitting up and trying to get his sweatpants off before he even had a chance to himself.
he choked out a moan when you started licking and sucking at his cock as soon as his pants were down, looking like you were entering the same trance he had just been in. it took every ounce of willpower he had to drag you off of him and lift you back onto the bed.
"you can do that later, angel. i'm here to help you, right?"
you seemed to forget about going down on him pretty quickly, opting instead for trying to drag the man closer as he crawled over you. he gave in to you rather easily, meeting his lips with yours again.
admittedly, he had been giving into you a lot lately. he would give you the last snack left and let you lean against him on the couch when you were tired. he would let you come with him when he split off from the group when you touched down in a new place.
and of course, everyone noticed. they saw how soft he was with you, how his stature relaxed and he slouched just a bit closer to your level when you walked into the room. and of course, they teased him relentlessly about it.
jet had even asked him once if spike thought you went into heats.
"well, she disappears for a week every month. what if that's when- ya know-"
"faye disappears all the time. so do i. besides, it's none of our business."
spike would never admit that he got off to the thought of it. and now, here he was, basically living his dreams. he couldn't wipe the grin off his face.
you whined when he started rubbing his dick over your pussy, his head bumping your clit with each grind. he found your attempts to line your hips up so he would finally fuck into you adorable; there wasn't much you could do though when he had his arms hooked under your knees and hands grabbing at your waist.
"aww, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he patronized, breaking away from kissing you. you were still grabbing at him wherever you could. "what is it? you want me to fuck you?"
"mhm, need you to, please spike- ah!"
he wasted no time pushing into you as soon as he heard your sweet voice, cursing as he slowly pressed in further and further, barely dragging his hips back before he would slide in more.
"oh, fuck, baby- so fuckin' tight, can barely fit my dick inside you- shit!"
you cried out when he finally bottomed out; it was like he was reshaping you to fit him inside. it had been so long since you had been with someone, since someone had helped you with your heat, but even then it had never felt as good as it did now.
he was about to ask if you were alright when you started begging him to move, to fuck you, to please help you. his final shred of resolve snapped before he grabbed one of your wrists as leverage to start hammering into you.
your back arched again and spike took that as an opportunity to lean down and suck on one of your nipples. he wasn't surprised when you came again already, your cunt tightening until he felt like he could barely move. your eyes rolled back and your nails dug as deep as they could into spike's back, probably drawing blood. he didn't care, though, because you looked so pretty cumming on his cock.
spike kept making you cum as much as he could until he couldn't fight off his own orgasm anymore (he was honestly impressed with himself that he'd managed to even last this long).
"where do you want me, baby? huh? where d'you want my cum?" he breathed, watching your body squirm and twitch from overstimulation.
you couldn't even answer him, feeling like he fucked your brain right out of your head. all you could think of was the pleasure overtaking your entire being, of wanting to stay like this for as long as possible.
when you didn't say anything, spike leaned down over you and left your leg on his shoulder to lightly grab your jaw.
"c'mon, angel, you gotta answer me," he panted. "you want me to cum inside you, right?"
that seemed to bring you out your haze a little bit and you nodded, ears teary and face painted a cute shade of pink. "mhm- ah- cum in- side, ah! please!" you managed.
he came with a harsh groan, bullying his dick as far into you as he could as he filled you up. you came with him one more time, your body clinging onto his, trying to keep him from pulling out.
you both stayed like that for some time, kissing slow and stealing the other's body heat. you whimpered when he pulled away and started to untangle your limbs from his, but he shushed you with another smile.
"don't worry, sweetheart. we're far from being done."
spike found out just how sensitive your extra appendages are pretty quickly, and he absolutely took advantage of it.
scratching and petting your soft ears made you melt against him, like putty in his hands. he found you're much more pliant when he does it, less whiny and more grateful.
of course, spike wasn't a complete dick, so he would take you into his room to feed both of his addictions at once. like when he was fucking you but stopped every time you were about to cum, torturing you just to see what you'd do. he had your hands tied to his headboard, keeping one hand on your stomach to pin you down and using the other to smoke a cigarette while he lazily fucked you.
"nngh, nonono- please! spike, you're bein' mean-"
he bends down over you to put out his cigarette on the bedside table, making him press deeper into you; you nearly came just from that, choking on your words.
"i'm being mean? sweetheart, i'm helping you." he cupped your face and debated internally for a second before he reached up to pet and rub your little cat ears soothingly.
your tensed limbs went slack, no longer tugging on your binds or trying to pull him closer with your legs. your wide eyes became lidded and you started nuzzling your head further into his hand.
"you asked for my help, remember? this is how i help you, baby," he cooed, and when you gave a little nod and a whimpered "mhm" he smiled. "you just gotta be a good girl and take it. can you do that?"
you nodded again. "mhm, i'll be good," you mumbled.
"good," spike said, reaching for another cigarette and leaning back up to light it. he put a hand back on your stomach and when he wasn't holding his cigarette he was petting your ears as he went back to slowly dragging his hips back and forth.
he also found out that tugging on your tail made you cum nearly instantly, and he used that until you were crying.
you were on your hands and knees on the floor with spike fucking you from behind, having to hold your hips to keep them up; he was holding your hair in a messy ponytail to make you watch it all in the floor-length mirror that was in front of you.
the curl of your tail against your back was just so cute, and having seen the effect of touching your ears, he had no hesitation in grabbing your tail lightly. your body shuddered and twitched and your back arched when you let out a loud whine.
"shit," he groaned through clenched teeth, feeling your pussy tightening around him. "you really like that, don't you angel?"
"fu-uck, mm-mm, i don'-"
he grabbed the base of your tail and tugged, and you were clawing at the blankets underneath you as you came.
"ha, why are you lying to me, baby?" spike breathed, tossing his head back as he fucked you through your orgasm. "thought you were finally being good."
he flipped you over with a pillow under your back and tried it again while he ate you out, and he was delighted to feel your cunt pulsing around his tongue. he tried it when he was just rubbing your clit, when he only had two fingers inside of you, when he was just sucking on your tits. you came every time, and each time made you try to claw your way away from him a little more. he never let you run; even if he did, he knew you would just come right back.
"one more time, baby, just one more for me," he kept saying, until you were reaching back to grab his wrist, his arm, his chest, anything to get him to let up.
"please, ple- ah, spike!" you hiccupped. which one of you was the one in heat again? "break, i need- nnh- need a break!"
he slowed down his thrusts and took his hand away from your tail, your sob turning into one of relief.
"alright, baby, we can take a break, you just gotta give me one more," he said, leaning down over you to kiss the back of your neck. you tried to shake your head, tried to say you couldn't give him anymore; it was then that you realized you definitely wouldn't be able to keep up with him if you continued this after your heat was over.
"i know you can, doin' so good for me," he just mumbled as he fucked you slower, until he finally let himself cum, of course making sure to give your tail one last squeeze. he couldn't help himself when it forced the cutest moans out of you.
he filled you with his cum over and over again, the both of you passing out for a couple of hours just to wake up and fuck all over again.
he would wake up to you sucking his dick, you would wake up to him spooning you and giving you hickies in the spaces between the ones he'd already left while he fingered you open again.
the only other time you stopped fucking is when he forced you to take a break and shower. you clung to him like a koala bear the entire way to the bathroom, fucked again in the shower, and clung to him all the way back.
during the duration of your heat, spike found himself being a lot more caring than he had been to someone in a very long time. he made sure you drank plenty of water, took you to the bathroom, made sure you ate still, dealt with your whining every second he wasn't physically touching you. in truth, he liked how much it made him feel needed.
he only ran into jet once while he quickly raided the fridge and filled up water bottles. jet came in just as he was hugging the supplies to his shirtless chest.
"spike! where the hell have you been?"
"uh... well, turns out she does go into heat," he said with a shrug and a slightly smug grin, walking past jet.
"oh, shit... wait, how do you know-" his jaw dropped when he saw spike's chest, back and arms, scratched to hell and marked with bites from your little fangs. he told faye, edward, and ein that you two were both very sick and needed to be "quarantined", counting himself lucky their bedrooms were all on the opposite side of the ship from yours.
you both stayed in your routine of fucking, sleeping, eating, and being forced to bathe for four days before your system starts calming down (spike had found himself considering the experiments done on himself more good than bad; he was so grateful he could keep up with you).
it's when you wake up with a pained groan as he's stretching out his overused muscles that he knows you're finally sobering up. as much as he loved the sex marathon, he was starting to get sore all over.
he plops back down next to you and you roll over to lay on top of him, but for the first time in days you don't start nipping at his chest and grinding against him. you just let out a little whine and go back to sleep. he can't help the little smile that spreads across his lips, and he reaches up to gently pet your ears and hair until he falls back asleep too.
you're shook awake a few hours later, blearily cracking open your eyes to see spike setting down a tray of "beef" and vegetables next to you on the bed. he gently moves your legs to sit beside you and eat his own.
"morning, sweetheart," he says when you raise your head and mumble something along the same lines back, slowly shifting onto your back and sitting up with another groan.
spike frowns a little in worry, wondering now if he had been too rough on you. it doesn't match up to your face of horror, though, when you look up and see his shirtless body.
"oh god, spike, 'm so sorry! you didn't have to- oh god," you ramble in panic, reaching out to him then retracting your hands and hiding your face in them, curling up into a ball.
spike laughs a little bit before he reaches over and gently takes your wrists in his hands to show your face to him again. "it's alright! hey, really, it's alright. i love the kind of woman who stakes her claim," he reassured with a cheesy smile.
your face goes red and you look down, embarrassed. "you didn't have to help me. i'm sorry- 'm sorry i made you do... all that."
"i seem to recall making you do a lot of things, too. very happily, too."
"well, yeah, but-"
"trust me, i enjoyed every minute of it, princess. well, except maybe having to force you into the shower. and having to spoon-feed you."
"you did not have to spoon-feed me!" you mutter indignantly, brows furrowing adorably and your tail flicking behind you.
"yes, i did," he sys, pointing his fork at you as he went back to his tray, "when you just needed to keep my dick inside you but didn't want to stop fucking yourself on it long enough to eat. had to hold you down." he acts like he's complaining, but he has a shit-eating grin on his face the entire time.
you choke on your own spit a little before huffing; before you can turn to your own food he adds on, "eat, don't make me force feed you again." you half-pout and half-glare at him, but you shovel the food into your mouth nonetheless.
once you're beyond full, you collapse back onto the bed, fully intending to go back to sleep and let your hormones rebalance on their own. you were always sore and exhausted for a day or two after your heat, but you usually slept through it anyways.
"hey." apparently, spike has other plans. "come on, we gotta take a bath." he's hauling you back into a sitting position and pulling his t-shirt over your head, which of course swallows you whole, despite all your whines and protests. "quit complaining, all you gotta do is sit in the water."
regardless of his front of acting like he was doing you a favor, he lets you cling to him again all the way to the bathroom. he washes your hair and cleans you off, makes sure the water isn't too hot for you. generally, you hate baths, but this seemed like something you could live with.
when he's toweled you dry and put you in one of his clean shirts, you sit on the counter while he finishes pulling up his sweats.
he picks you up again and as he starts walking you both back to your room, he asks, "so when did you take my shirt, anyway?"
spike feels you tense up and your cheeks get warm where they're pressed into the crook of his neck.
"i didn't take it," you squeak, "it got- it got mixed up in the laundry..."
"riiight. sure, sweetheart."
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leviscolwill · 9 months
Text
i can see you
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pairing: ben chilwell x fem!reader
summary: after you lost your hotel room key you're forced to ask your friend ben to share his bed with you (wc: 1k)
contents: fluff, coworkers au / workplace romance, idiots crushing on each other, one use of y/n sorry 🏃‍♀️
notes: please be indulgent w this,, i haven't written in 2 years so i'm a bit rusty. also english is not my first language so my apologies for any grammar mistakes that will make you want to gouge your eyes out. reblogs & feedback are very veryyyyy appreciated as always <3
ps: i tried sum with the dividers tell me if they're ugly asf and i'll delete bc idk how to feel abt them 💀
now playing: i can see you by taylor swift (speak now)
"are you sure you don't mind me staying here tonight ?" you didn't want to force ben into sharing his room, but as soon as you noticed your hotel room card was gone, he offered his room for the night.
"i wouldn't offer if i did."
he had a point. not that you would ever say it out loud, so you simply kept silent. truth be told, today was exhausting, you had to run left and right while every player fulfilled their media duties, and everything felt 10 times more intense in the heat of the summer.
you still felt anxious at the idea of sharing a bed with ben. the line between 'coworkers-that-get-along-well' and 'something more' blurred a little bit too much whenever you were with ben. you'd find yourself looking at him a little bit more than you'd look at other players and thinking about him in a way a friend shouldn't, let alone someone who works for his team should.
"i can practically hear your thoughts you know ?" ben chuckled, he got to know you well throughout the last two seasons you worked at chelsea, well enough to feel you hesitating over the proposal.
"i can sleep on the floor if that makes you more comfortable."
"i'm not making you sleep on the floor when i'm the one who lost my card in the first place" you sighed. you were both adults that could share a bed and not make it weird, right ?
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"do you have any spare shirt i could borrow ?" after ben searched through his baggage that seemed untouched since touchdown, he handed you a t-shirt and some shorts.
you made your way to his bathroom after muttering a quick 'thank you'.
you came out of his bathroom battling against his shorts that were still too big even after adjusting them, ben couldn't hide his smile when you walked out in his clothes. he'd imagined you in his shirt more times than he'd like to admit.
"i'll get ready for bed, make yourself comfortable." he said pointing at his bed. thankfully it was more than enough for two people, actually, his bed was probably bigger than yours, perks of being a football player probably.
after staying on your phone to distract yourself from the fact you were sharing a bed with your crush, a very shirtless ben came out of the bathroom and laid on his side of the bed. the only thing that you could do now was hoping for the red on your cheeks to fade as quickly as humanly possible.
to you, it was obvious, he was not nearly as nervous or embarrassed as you were, it almost seemed like he'd done this a million times before. he was laying casually on his phone while you stayed close to the end of the bed, so close you were afraid you might fall at any moment.
but if you could read his mind, you'd find out ben was torn between overthinking about how he better not mess it up, and thinking about who he would tell first that he slept in the same bed as the pretty girl from work he kept rambling about.
"goodnight ben." you said in an almost whisper.
"goodnight y/n" he answered while he tried his best to fall asleep, although all he could think about was how lucky he was.
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when you woke up in the morning, you were confused about the unfamiliar setting for the first few seconds but quickly remembered the events of last night. you don't even know what awakened you. was it the sun peeking through the curtains ? the light snoring you could hear coming from above your head ? or the heat of the body laying right next to you ? then you silently panicked sensing how close you were to ben, his head resting on top of your hair, his features soft as he was still asleep.
but you took the time to fully appreciate the moment that was definitely too intimate for two coworkers, or even two friends. listening to ben's heartbeat and tracing his features after freeing yourself from one of his arms that kept you close to him.
after a few minutes he opened his eyes, and stretched, while pulling you right next to him.
"slept well ?" he asked with a tired smile on his face, while his fingers traced up and down your bare arm.
you almost wanted to tell him that you had the best sleep of your life, in hopes that he'll keep you this close for longer, but chose against it.
"yes, slept well, maybe i would've slept even better if you didn't snore this loud"
he faked a offended expression and attacked you with his pillow, messing your hair even more.
"no, no, no, i'm sorry, please stop, i didn't mean that." you tried to plead out of breath.
ben was feeling merciful, he helped you seat up on his bed and you spent about half an hour talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
"i better go to the reception to get a new card." you said while ben watched you collect your clothes with a lovesick smile attached to his face.
"let me know if you lose your new card, i'll gladly share my bed with you again."
with that, you closed ben's door with one last look at him, his messy hair and his (very) unmade bed, smiling to yourself for the rest of the morning.
372 notes · View notes
pedropascallme · 3 months
Note
I adore ur professor Haas series I was wondering if you could do one where he has a lot of work to do so he makes u cockwarm, but eventually gives into ur pleads 🙈🙈🙈🙈 thank you!!!!
Fatal Distraction
Pairing: professor!Damien x f!Reader
Summary: "Wearing an old Pokémon shirt you had found in his dresser, you found your way to his office and felt yourself blush at the sight; it almost made you laugh out loud, the fact that, even after he had ravished you the way he did time and time again, there was still something about the way his jaw tensed, how his hair fell over his eyes in a way that hid the top half of his glasses, the motion of his eyes as they scanned the papers he read, that made you go red with a sort of schoolgirl embarrassment. Part of you seemed to still be worried you’d get caught staring at your hot professor."
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI) implied age gap (Damien is his actual current age, reader is 20-22), student/teacher relationship, dom/sub dynamics, p in v sex, praise, dirty talk, very mild degradation (use of the word slut), spanking, thigh man Damien makes a brief appearance again, If I missed anything please let me know!
AN: Guys you know how I love soft!dom Damien but this is...this might be full on dom Damien...and I apologize for nothing!
Maybe there was a scientific word for it, a phrase that explained why you derived so much pleasure from watching him squirm at the way you teased him before he gave in and took control. Schadenfreude didn’t begin to cover it, but you knew that’s what he would say if you told him about the inner workings of your mind.
To be fair, he had to put that German degree to use somehow.
You could hear Damien in his office from down the hall, papers flitting, followed by an audible sigh; giving assignments wasn’t fun, per se, but at least he knew his students would be able to learn something from them—even if they happened to cheat somehow, trying to circumvent the required readings or zoning out while he lectured new concepts in class, they still had to figure out a way to make it seem like they knew what they were talking about. But grading had to be the epitome of tedium. He’d figured that, at this point in his career, he would’ve figured out a way to make the time pass faster, find a method that made it less drawn out.
That still hadn’t happened, and he’d started to come to terms with the fact that it likely never would.
Your weekend liaisons at the home of your professor had become more frequent; your toothbrush sat next to his in the bathroom, you kept your skincare products stacked neatly in the corner of the bedroom you had laid claim to, and you had an assigned side of the bed (left, because it was closer to the phone charger). It didn’t bother you that he had to get up early to finish grading most days, given that you had him all to yourself for the rest of the day (and for most of the night,) but today you felt…devious.
It wasn’t your fault that you still had an ache between your legs; sure, part of it was enduring soreness from the previous night, a memory of the way he had caged you beneath him and coaxed orgasm after orgasm from you while his hips snapped desperately against you—but mostly it was simply because you were in his presence, surrounded by the scent of his body wash, and the smell of old books that seemed to linger in the air of the apartment, mingling to create something so perfectly Damien.
It was just him, that’s what did it for you. Him.
Wearing an old Pokémon shirt you had found in his dresser, you found your way to his office and felt yourself blush at the sight; it almost made you laugh out loud, the fact that, even after he had ravished you the way he did time and time again, there was still something about the way his jaw tensed, how his hair fell over his face to hide the top half of his glasses, the motion of his eyes as they scanned the papers he read, that made you go red with a sort of schoolgirl embarrassment. Part of you seemed to still be worried you’d get caught staring at your hot professor.
“Busy?” You came up behind him, dropping a hand over his chest and stooping down to where he sat to place soft kisses on his neck. You always appreciated when he wore his white undershirts around the house; his skin exposed to you, warm and welcoming, and the silhouette they created was magnificent.
“Yeah,” it came out a near-whine as he leaned back into you, raising his head to offer you more access to the flesh you were sucking on and creating the opportunity for you to trace a path down his collar bones with the hand not stabilizing you on his chest. “I feel like it's all just blurring together, though. I need to stop grading on minimal sleep.”
“Is this you kicking me out?” You quipped, and you felt one of his hands come up to root itself in your hair.
“Never,” he pulled you up for a brief kiss before he let out another sigh. “I’m sorry I’m so busy all the time—I know you say you don’t care, but—”
“I don’t care.” You cut him off, placing a kiss just under his ear, circling his pulse-point with your lips.
“I know! But…I don’t want you to get bored—or think I’m boring, or, or think that this is me pulling back, or something…”
Now you did laugh, letting the sound catch in his skin where your head rested. “You’re working yourself up, Professor,” you felt him breathe deep at the use of the title, “I know how interested you are in me.” You moved from your spot behind him, carefully placing yourself in front of him before straddling his lap, “And I’m just as interested in you. Promise.” You grabbed his hand, lowering it to your naked core and letting his fingers ghost the slick that still coated your lower half from your previous romp. You bent yourself forward to kiss his pulse point again, “I don’t think you’re boring in the slightest.”
Damien’s head fell back against the chair he sat on, trying desperately to keep his composure. “God, don’t do this to me now, baby,” his fingers moved to trace circles on your clit, and you couldn’t tell which experience was best—the way his stiffening, clothed cock felt under your weight, or the way his hands felt on your cunt, or the way he was so quickly falling victim to your teasing, practically squirming in his seat and incapable of tearing his gaze from you. “Never gonna finish grading…”
“I can go if you want,” you taunted, beginning to stand before his hands found your waist and pulled you back down to him, “I mean, if you aren’t interested…”
“You’re an incredibly persuasive distraction.” His jaw clenched and you knew he could feel how wet you were now, even through his sweatpants.
“I’ll go, since you want me to stop,” you tilted your head down at him, “let you finish all that work you have to do. I can take care of myself, you know.”
He inhaled sharply, and you watched his face turn from playful to stern; eyebrows creasing, and only a faint smirk on his lips. “You’re going to let me finish my work,” he wrapped an arm around your waist, “but you’re not going anywhere.”
You didn’t anticipate his next move, too focused on how handsome he looked when the lust finally overtook his eyes; he worked quickly to pull his sweatpants down just enough to release his cock, then hoisted you higher, before letting you sink down onto him. He gritted his teeth when he felt himself against your entrance, the pleasure heightened by your startled moans of approval before you took him fully. He closed his eyes so as not to give away the intense satisfaction you were providing him—he couldn’t just reward you for purposely trying to sidetrack him from work that had a deadline.
You whimpered, arms wrapped around his neck, wiggling your hips in an attempt to get him to do something that would give you some relief, and let you enjoy how full he made you feel.
“Don’t move—look at me, ok?—don’t move.” He caressed your cheek and a confusing mixture of disappointment and lust settled into your stomach: the perfect recipe for desire. “You wanna distract me so bad? I’m using you to the fullest extent, then.” His voice was barely above a whisper, his words coming out thoughtful and calm, and you felt yourself clench around him; you were so desperate, fueled by his dominance. “You’re gonna be good for me, right?” He raised an eyebrow and you nodded fervently.
“Yeah—yes, sir, I’ll be good. I’ll be so good for you.” You found solace in the crook of his neck, trying not to squirm despite the way your body screamed at you to move.
“My good girl.” He squeezed your thigh, rubbing circles on the flesh with his palm and kneading it occasionally. He picked up his grading where he left off.
You thought maybe you could get through this. You had brought it on yourself, in all fairness, and you did love the way he took control, but the more animalistic part of your brain was hungry, yearning for him to take control in a more depraved manner—the kind that made you see stars and scream his name into the bedsheets.
He leaned forward to pick something up from his desk, and your patience completely dissipated when you felt the muscles of his stomach tense against you and the tip of his cock nestle deeper into your dripping hole, brushing a spot inside of you that he just had to know would make you abandon your promise to be good.
You let out a shrill whine, your hands finding his shoulder blades and pulling him into you. “Please,” you pushed your face deeper into the skin of his neck, “Please, I need it.”
“Need what?” He settled properly back into his seat again, still focused on the assignment he had in his hand.
“I need it—you. Please? Fuck me, it hurts, I need you.” You begged, trying to squeeze your thighs around his waist in an attempt to supply yourself some friction.
“Thought you liked when it hurt?” Was all he said, deadpan, brushing off your appeals—though his cock throbbed at the way you clenched around him, and he’d be lying if he said he cared about the paper he was trying to grade.
His response only drew more whimpers; pleading moans fell from your lips as you tried to hold onto the shred of hope that if you remained good, stayed still, he would fuck you like you needed to be fucked. But that hope was enveloped quickly by the feeling of his hand moving up your thigh and over the curve of your ass, kneading the flesh gently before spanking you once.
“You think maybe you should apologize for distracting me?” He growled, “Apologize for acting so needy after you promised to be a good girl?” He spanked you again, harder this time, and you couldn’t help the way your hips lurched forward, or the way your breath caught in your throat when you cried out.
Damien straightened in his chair, looking up at you, like he was worshipping at the shrine of your body. When you looked down at him, he reached his hand up to brush his thumb over the upper part of your cheek, wiping the exasperated tears that had fallen from your eyes.
“Think you should apologize for acting like a slut?” Again, his words came out so calm, so collected. Maybe that's what did it, the way he managed to stay domineering with such ease, or it could’ve been the fact that he had never called you that before, despite his moaned assent when you referred to yourself that way when he fucked you nice and rough. It might have just been the fact that he was presenting you with such a perfect window of opportunity, with his gaze locked in yours the way it was, after nearly an hour of wishing and waiting.
Whatever it was, your restraint had officially snapped, and you practically dove into him, finding his mouth with your own and pulling him into a messy kiss; drool threatened to spill over your lower lip, and your top teeth occasionally met his, but neither of you cared—you’d waited long enough.
“I’m sorry,” you managed to breathe between heated kisses, “I’m sorry for being a slut—I’m sorry, I won’t distract you again, sir, I’m sorry—” Before he cut you off with another kiss, his fingers weaving through your hair as he pulled your face as close as he could. His other arm wrapped around your waist, and he began to push his hips up into you with zero hesitation. You gasped against his mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity to let his tongue dip between your lips and lick into you.
“You’re so,” he kissed you again, “fucking,” then on your neck, “perfect,” and on your collar, bottom lip just barely grazing the old shirt you still had on. “Perfect girl—god, that’s it.” He stuttered when you bounced back onto him, finding a rhythm with each other and getting rid of the pent up need that coursed through the both of you. He reached a hand under your shirt and squeezed your breast, fingers circling your nipple before he rolled it in his thumb and index finger, quick to notice the way you pushed your chest into him and cried out for more, more, more.
He was unrelenting; even in a position where you had so much control, hands planted on his chest and body above him, he managed to flip the script and put you in your place, dominating you to the point where you were malleable and helpless.
“Feels so good, I—Damien!” You threw your head back at the feeling of his cock pushing your limits, the stretch of your cunt and the burn of your thighs rivaled by the way his deep thrusts pushed the head of his cock against your cervix.
“Yeah? Like that, baby?” He lifted you slightly, giving him more space to move his hips at the rough pace he had set and admire the way you bounced up and down. “Still hurting?” He goaded you, and all you could do was moan at his words and the way his hips snapped into you, too close to the edge to focus on anything but showing him how good he made you feel.
"If you wanna act like a slut, I'll treat you like one," he continued, obsessed with how your eyes rolled back in thrill at the degradation. "That's what you want, right? Just wanted to get fucked."
You fell forward against him. Quiet moans and whispered yeah, like thats and please, it feels so goods escaped up from your throat while he worked you to completion. Damien removed his hand from under your shirt, finding your clit and massaging shapes against it in time with his thrusts, unable to decide which view he liked more: the one where he got to watch you tremble against him, face flushed and lost in pleasure scrunched against him and occasionally meeting his gaze to plant a frenzied kiss wherever you could reach; or the one where he could see the way your cunt swallowed him, squeezing his shaft and coating him in your wet with every roll of his hips, his own fingers massaging your clit.
“Gonna—I’m—” you choked on your words, but he knew what you were saying, the feeling of the familiar flutter of your walls around his length telling him you were close.
“You can cum,” he assured, “show me how pretty you look when you cum for me, baby.” He pushed you down onto him, dragging your hips over his with his hands, letting you feel him as deep as you could, resuming his ministrations on your clit after you began to move on your own accord.
You came hard, all but collapsing onto him, practically boneless and unable to feel anything but pleasure, and affection for the man who had provided it.
Damien wasn’t far behind, his movements relaxing slightly. “Where do you want me, baby?” One arm curled around you, the other holding the back of your neck in an affectionate vice grip.
“Inside.” You whispered, and with a growl and a string of curses he quickly obliged, needing only the sound of your fucked-out voice in his ear to bring him to his high.
You stayed wrapped up together, sticky and sweaty, neither of you too eager to move, content to stay connected for as long as you could.
Damien wrapped you in a tight hug, mouth dropping to your ear to whisper to you. “You’re so perfect,” he cooed, “smart and beautiful and perfect. You know that?”
You raised your head from its resting place on his shoulder and greeted him with a sleepy grin, “I know." You toyed with the hair on the nape of his neck before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, straightening them for him, “So are you.” You returned to his shoulder, squishing your cheek against him and leaving small kisses on his neck. “So perfect.” You whispered.
“I hope you know not to...y'know, what I say when we fuck, if I'm being...mean, or if I say something you don't like, or—" He blinked rapidly as he tried to find the right words, anxious that you would take his dirty talk to heart, that you would take it personally in all the wrong ways. "I think the world of you."
You giggled, and the sound made his shoulders relax.
“I know, Damien,” and you did know, without him having to explain his entire train of thought.
You knew how he felt about you. You knew because you felt the same way.
“Good.” He conceded, placing a kiss on your shoulder.
“I’m sorry for distracting you. I know you’re busy.”
“Don’t be sorry. You make grading papers a lot less…monotonous.” He kissed your shoulder again. “I’m always happy to be distracted by you.”
“Good,” you echoed his earlier sentiment, “I’m always happy to distract you.”
"You wanna come distract me in the shower?" He squeezed your thigh.
"Yeah. I do."
88 notes · View notes
freakazoidfuc · 1 year
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Sugar
Joel Miller x F! Reader
Summary: You wandered off without letting anyone know. Joel doesn't like that one bit and decides that he's had enough of your loud mouth.
+18 smut
p.s. don't like this at all but I felt bad for not posting after my last one, so here's this, dunno what it is but hope you like it, might or might not be writing something with tlou2 game Ellie ;)
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 The days had begun to blend together. You didn’t know if it was Monday or Saturday. You didn’t even keep track of what month it was. All you knew was that it was winter. Living in New York had prepared you for this, while it was cold in Massachusetts, you felt like nothing compared to the winters in Brooklyn. 
You remember running around outside of the apartments. Playing with your neighbor's pitbull and scraping your knee because said pitbull kept chasing you around. You remember the sweet laughter that came from your mom when you told her what had happened. Oh your mom, how you miss your sweet mom and her voice, though the sound of her voice is starting to become a fog in your mind. 
You lost your mom on outbreak day. You had just turned 17 the day before, September 25, 2003. You remember that last day so vividly. Your mom took that week off because she wanted to spend more time with you. Luckily you had a few days off from school so you were home those days too. It was Thursday and you were sound asleep. In the kitchen was your mom preparing you a birthday breakfast. 
She came into your room singing ‘Las Mañanitas’ in the loudest voice she could muster. You woke up abruptly from the noise but once you found out what it was, you started laughing uncontrollably. You covered your face with your hands out of embarrassment, never knowing what to do when someone sang you happy birthday. Your mom was recording you with her big bulky camera. 
“Mami stop, I'm too old for this!” You exclaim, your laughter dying down a little as she sits beside you in your messy bed. She leans over and plants a kiss on your forehead. “Happy birthday mi amor”. She picks up a sliced mango from the plate she made you and plops it in your mouth. 
“Omg mami, it's so good” Your eyes roll back from the sweetness of the fruit. Mangos have always been your favorite fruit and your mom always makes a dish that has something to do with mangoes on your birthday. Last year it was pancakes with mango hearts on top. Today it was chocolate-covered mangos. “I got them from the little market on the corner of  8th Street. Marta said they just came in, so they're extra fresh just for you!” She says happily, admiring you. 
She sighs deeply and suddenly her face turns into one of glum. She grabs the plate from you and places it on your bedside table, she suddenly engulfs you in a tight hug. “My baby’s all grown up” she whispers in your ear. 
“Aww mami, it’s okay. You know I'm not leaving you anytime soon. I love you mami, thank you for always giving me what you could, and for never abandoning me even after Dad left, I know that was hard for us but especially for you. I’m so proud. You’re the best mommy ever. Te amo”. 
That was the last full conversation you remember having with your mom. It's been 20 years since then. You're now 37 walking down the streets of a gated community. The streets are completely stripped of any life form, that's not a surprise though, it's been like that for the past few years. The wind is slapping your face, causing tears to form in your eyes. There's garbage just scurrying the streets. No noise, just the whistles of the wind and your footsteps. You hadn't gone on a walk like this for a long time, despite everything it's quite peaceful. 
You just showered in Bill and Franks’s house, You're shivering from your wet hair, and if your mom was around she would have scolded you for it. You look around at this rural town, the few stores it had, and the empty houses that decorate the streets. It dawns on you that you can't even remember what life was like before the outbreak. Life is just being on the run, killing and surviving. You know nothing else. 
You’ve stopped in the middle of the street and closed your eyes. Trying to imagine what you would have been doing now in your life if none of this would've happened. You begin to imagine yourself in Brooklyn, you're married with a baby boy. Your mom is in the living room watching your baby boy, as you cook. Life would've been so great. But you can't help but think, what if it was all supposed to happen like this? What if this was the plan all along?
You’ve always been a firm believer of “things happen for a reason” but with everything that's happened, you've questioned your beliefs. You were raised religiously. Every Sunday you’d go to mass with your mom. And you were taught that God had plans for all of you, that he does everything for a reason, and that he’ll only give you things you can handle. But this? To you, this isn't something you could handle. How could you have worshiped someone that caused such great disaster to humankind? 
You just don't know what and who to believe in anymore. 
You were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear the footsteps that were approaching. But somehow even so caught up in thought, you still had that sixth sense that drove your mother crazy. Within a second you pulled your gun out of the back of your jeans and pointed at whoever was behind you. 
The scene you have painted is quite funny. Your gun pointed straight at Joel Miller. Once your brain has fully registered that it's in fact Joel and not some infected, you lower the gun down and place it in the back of your jeans, a habit you picked up from Joel. 
“Jesus Joel!  You can’t just sneak up on me like that”. You play the dramatics out so Joel could feel bad for you, or get him to show some emotion. 
Since you met Joel like 5 months ago, he’s said very little and shown very little emotion. The only time you've ever seen a sliver of emotion is when he's with Ellie. It’s the only time he ever seems real. You see the way Ellie is starting to warm that grump's heart. But Ellie kind of has that effect on people, especially with those dumb puns she likes to tell you every chance she gets. She’s a good kid, so good that you feel terrible for what she’s gone through, she doesn't deserve all the bad she’s gotten. You don't know how much time you’ll spend with Ellie but you’re gonna try your hardest to give her a bit of normalcy, well as normal as you can in the world you live in. 
“What did I tell you about wandering by yourself? If you want to leave, tell me first”.  Joel scolds you. Let's just say it's not the first time you've left without a word. He got really upset at you that time. You swore that forehead vein was going to explode. He got all up in your face, saying that you can’t just wander around without him, that he needs to know where you are at all times, blah blah you have to learn to be responsible, more blah and blah about getting yourself killed. 
Just to shut him up, you promised you wouldn't do it again, but… well here you are. 
“Um, not to do it?” You end it with a questioning tone. He starts nodding his head at you, moving a few steps forward. “Right, and where are we right now y/n?” 
His tone is serious and harder than usual. 
“Dude, you're acting like I'm a kid, I'm not that much younger than you. I don't have to tell you where I'm going, I can protect myself”. You roll your eyes at him and cross your arms in front of your chest. You see Joel clench his jaw and his eyes moving from one of your eyes to the other. 
“Oh trust me, sweetheart, I know you're not a kid” What the hell is that supposed to mean? “But the way you just walk out of the house with not at least letting Ellie know where you're going, is you acting like a fucking kid, is it so hard to do what I fucking tell you?”  
You scoff at him, not believing the words that are coming out of his mouth. “Joel be fucking serious for once, will you? Where the fuck am I gonna go? Huh, tell me. There's nowhere to go. I don’t have to tell you where I’m going because frankly there’s nowhere to fucking go! you’re not my fucking dad, okay? So don’t come here yelling at me like I’m some helpless fucking kid”
That was a lot of fucks
At this point you’re yelling at him, you've moved closer to him. You hadn’t realized until you noticed your finger on his chest. You quickly remove it and storm away back into Bill and Frank's house, without letting Joel say anything else. You’ve truly had it. You can't handle Joel treating you like a kid. You're 37 for god's sake. You’d think he would take that into account. 
Once you're in the house, you hear the shower running. Ellie, she must still be wondering where you are. You head to the bathroom door and knock softly. “Ellie?” 
“Y/n?” Ellie yells from the other side of the door. 
“Yeah babe it's me, hey sorry about not telling you I left. I just went on a walk”. On the other side, Ellie’s eyebrows furrow into confusion. “Oh, I hadn't known you left, but thanks for telling me” 
“But Joel said-” 
Just then you hear his loud footsteps coming up the stairs. “Ellie I’ll be in the room, Let me know if you need anything”. As you walk away you hear the faint okay from Ellie. 
You quickly shut the door and stand by the windowsill. You know he’s probably going to come inside to yell at you some more because it seems that’s all he can do. You face the window. Your back to the door. The doorknob jiggles, it's an old house so things get a bit jammed. Joel finally got the door open, he steps and gently shuts the door. Your heart starts to pump faster. 
While you didn’t want to admit it, Joel makes you nervous. Not in an “I’m scared, he'll hurt me” kind of way but more because you think he's a hot grump that doesn't know how attractive he is kind of way. Yeah, Joel makes you want to pull out your hair but, you can’t deny that his overprotectiveness over you doesn't make you feel things you shouldn't. Especially because you think Joel just sees you as some kid who doesn't know what to do on their own.
The first time you met Joel a couple of months ago was when he found you and Ellie together in that abandoned apartment where the fireflies had set camp. He was on his own looking for a car battery or something. You were on your way out to meet with the others to start the journey to Boulder, which is where the University of Eastern Colorado is located at. There are doctors there that have claimed to help create a cure with the help of Ellie. You were skeptical at first, but if Marlene believes it, then there has to be some truth to it. 
He thought you were infected and tried to kill you, Marlene stepped in and explained to Joel what was going on. She was hurt before Joel came in. One of the fireflies somehow got infected and went crazy on the rest of the members in the complex. She had to fight him off, and while she didn’t get bit, the infected had toppled her into a piece of glass and she was bleeding heavily. 
You knew she wasn't going to make it, she was bleeding too much and you had nothing to help her. You felt absolutely useless, just standing there covering Ellie so she wouldn't see what had happened to Marlene. You knew Ellie couldn't handle seeing another loss. 
The last thing Marlene muttered was for Joel. She asked him to promise to take you and Ellie to the ruins of Boston and that the fireflies there would provide him with a car so he could take it to wherever he had to go. 
While they were talking, you took Joel's look in. He was older, had salt and pepper hair, taller than you, and very broad but soft at the same time. He was very sweaty and dirty, but that weirdly made you think he looked 10 times better. Once he agreed, you knew you were in trouble. You knew that when you developed a crush it wasn’t gonna go away anytime soon. That's exactly what happened. 
You remember that one time in the resort when the floor was flooded with water. He jumped in to prove to Ellie that the water was shallow. But all you could seem to notice was the way his shirt clung to his body. You don't know if he caught you, but if he did he didn’t say anything. Moral of the story, your little school girl on Joel never went away and while you hated when he screamed at you, you couldn't ignore the warmth you felt when he got all angry and up in your face.
You feel Joel's eyes on you, burning holes through you. Your breathing starts to get heavy. Joel was quick to notice that, more of the reason why he brought himself closer to you. You felt the heat of his body bouncing to your back. Joel sighed before letting himself talk. “Y/n?” 
You won’t give in easily, no. If he wants to apologize you're gonna make him work for it. Joel moves in closer to you, to try to get you to give in. He’s always known. He's caught you sneaking glances at him, your eyes glued to him, but he never acted on it, he also believed it was his delusions getting to him. He hasn't had contact with a girl for a long time. You’re the first person that has been with him for a long period of time. How wasn't he supposed to notice you? Not only that, but he thought you were one of the most beautiful girls he’s seen. 
“You don't have to talk to me, I just came here to say sorry. I shouldn't have said all that outside. I was just- um I was..” 
You didn't understand why it was so hard for Joel to admit that he cared about you. You know you said you weren't giving in but, you had the urge to say something. “You were just what Joel. I don't need your half-assed apology.” 
It's like your words made Joel switch from soft-spoken babble to that hard tone he used before, but now it was different. You weren't sure what made it sound different, you just know that there is something else laced in his tone. 
“Turn around, and look at me while you talk to me” His words alone had you turn into pure heat. But you didn't want to obey him.  He talks to you like he has power over you. That's not something you're going to take. 
“Didn't I tell you to stop telling me what to do Joel?” You turn to face him, the look on his face alone made you want to pull your hair out. His pupils were blown out, his face a little flush probably from the cold outside, and veins popping out everywhere. From his neck to his fists. 
What you didn’t expect was for him to grab your face forcefully. So hard that your lips were being squished together. “I’d watch that fucking tone sugar” 
Those fucking pet names, why can’t he just say your name like a fucking normal person
“I’ve let it slip before but a pretty girl like you shouldn’t have such a filthy mouth, you listen here. You want to be treated like an adult?” He’s looking at you waiting for a response. There’s no way you can physically move your mouth so you just nod. 
“Yeah?” he mocks you.
“So start fucking acting like one, stop with your temper tantrums. Bratty don’t look good on you sweetheart”. 
Why is this making you horny? 
Suddenly you’re not the loud-mouthed girl, you feel yourself slip into a submissive headspace. You wanna obey and definitely not make him mad, though it is a good look on him. 
He starts to feel a bit guilty for yelling at you but that quickly dissipates when he sees your pupils blown out and glazed over. He scoffs and lets go of your face. Your hand comes up to gently rub on where he was gripping you. He didn’t hurt you, just now you miss his touch. 
“You like that, don’t you? Like when I yell at you, hm?” 
Didnt even have to say anything. You gave yourself away when you brought your body closer to his. You’re looking up at him with glazed doe eyes. Asking for something without actually saying anything. 
Joel completely gets rid of any space between you and him. He encloses your jaw with his big hand. Tilts your head to be looking directly at him. He brings his face close to yours, you can feel his breath fan across your face. You try to reach his lips but he pulls away a bit, just enough to make a huff release from your mouth. 
“You’re a big girl, right? Use your words and tell me what you want”
“I want you” You mumble, a sudden wave of shyness engulfing you. He raises his eyebrow, in a fake confused face. “Hm? Can’t hear you darlin’, gon have to speak up” His smirk prominent as ever. 
You put on your sweetest smile, and the sweetest tone ever for him, “Joel I want you” 
And because Joel is well Joel, that’s not enough for him, he made you say it one more time before you couldn’t handle it and pushed yourself and smashed your lips onto his. His hands leave your jaw and immediately roaming and touching what he could, if it’s not him groping your ass, it’s him smoothing his hands across your back. 
Knew he was an ass man! 
He’s pulling you up by your thighs, now your legs around his waist. Your cunt pressed directly on his hard-on. The friction he created caused a slight whimper to escape you. Which riled him up, You feel him walking towards the bed. He breaks the kiss to throw you on the bed. 
“Gonna do what I’ve always wanted to” 
Warmth has spread everywhere, and you just hope that that wetness you feel in your panties hasn’t seeped through your jeans, you know Joel wouldn’t let that go. 
You get up on your elbows, watching him through hooded eyes. You haven’t done anything but you already feel drunk on him, he makes you feel woozy. 
He kneels before you, almost like a lion silently stalking toward its prey. Made your heart go crazy, you can feel your cunt throbbing just at the sight of him. He gently spreads your legs apart so he can get in between them. Placing kisses on your jean-clad legs. 
“Gonna take these off alright”
You nod at him, you haven’t said much because you honestly can’t believe this is happening. All those nights you’ve spent with your hand down your pants, palming away your ache with this exact picture in mind, and now it’s actually happening. 
He slowly peels your jeans off, admiring your black lace panties.
Thank fuck for that fully stocked victoria secret you stumbled across during a hunt
“Fuck, don’t know how good you look right now. All pretty and perched just waiting for me to have a taste of you” 
He’s going too slow, and doesn’t know much you can handle. You just need him to fuck you already. Need to feel him in you. It’s all you want. 
“J-Joel c’mon you’re torturing me” 
“There’s that mouth, been too quiet” He chuckles, leaving wet kisses on your thighs. He is so close to where you need him. While you wanna make him proud, you are still the same person, submissive or not you gotta throw in a quip.
“Thought my mouth was too filthy for you, didn’t think you liked it?” 
He didn’t like that though, instead of a kiss, he bit into your soft skin. Making you whimper and squirm in his grip. He quickly pressed a kiss where he but you. 
“Different between being mouthy and bratty. Love your mouth. Could hear you moaning and whimpering for me all day. Jus’ don’t like when you get that bratty attitude” 
“Makes me wanna fuck it out of you” 
His word has you bucking your hips for a bit of friction. “So do it, Joel, fuck the brattiness out of me” 
You yelp when he rips your panties off you. Hey! Those are the only cute ones you had. Immediately pressing his hot mouth to where you wanted him. Because you didn’t expect it, a loud moan comes out of your mouth. Your legs try to close but he grips your thighs apart. 
“This what you wanted, huh? Wanted me to eat this pretty little cunt out? Treat you like the filthy brat you are. Hm?” 
His words only spur you on, grinding your cunt on his face. “Y-yes Joel, ugmh- feels so good” 
He doesn’t stop, lapping his tongue up and down. Sucking your clit like it was candy. “Taste so good sugar, I could stay like this all day” 
While it felt good, it wasn’t enough. “Need more Joel, n-not enough please” You whine. Needing something else. His mouth doesn’t stop, but you feel his hand leave your thigh. He brings his fingers to your mouth. You knew just what to do, you took his two fingers and sucked on them. Swirling your tongue around both of them coating his finger with your saliva. He removes his fingers and you don’t miss the way his eyes went heavy when the string of spit connected your mouth to his fingers. 
“Such a dirty girl” 
His fingers tease your entrance, You clenching around nothing. You know you’re close you just need something else. He slowly inserts both his fingers into you. Letting you stretch around his fingers not moving them. 
“Joel need- Mmh, you to move. Porfavor- be nice”
He beings to slip them in and out eventually finishing that toe-curling pace. Your hands gripping onto his hair. His grunts vibrate and make you clench around his fingers. You feel that burning sensation in your tummy. 
“That’s it, baby, taking my fingers so well, being such a good girl for me” 
His mouth and fingers abusing your cunt. Making you scream his name.
“Joel, gonna c-cum, faster” 
He slowed his fingers, making you whine. “Your manners baby, don’t forget em” 
Once you muttered please he went ham on you. His tongue circling your clit, his fingers fucking you relentlessly. His other hand released your thigh and palmed your tits under your shirt, pinching your pebbled nipples. The new sensation brings you to your limit. 
You feel your tummy tightening. Joel feels you tensing. 
“C’mon baby let it go, You’re doing so good. Just hold on a little more for me” 
“C-cant Joel! 
“He pumps his fingers a few more times and you realize your sweet juices are all over his fingers. Making a sticky mess all over his face. He doesn’t mind, in fact, he’s bringing his fingers to taste you more, not wasting a bit of you. 
You’ve splayed yourself on the bed, chest breathing heavily. 
Joel licks you a bit more and cleans you up before properly cleaning you up. You squirm. Pulling Joel off you by his hair. “Ah! Joel, still sensitive” 
“Sorry sugar, just can’t get enough of ya” He leans in for a kiss and you immediately warm up again. 
“If I knew this is what it took to shut your bratty mouth up, would’ve done it a long time ago”. 
223 notes · View notes
co6kiesvr · 1 year
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summary: namor isn’t so happy when he finds out the us has taken you to find out about the kingdom
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namor stood by the shore, talking to queen ramonda, about their alliance and how it’s going to work. during that time, you were also outside of the kingdom, doing some undercover work, to find out what the us has been doing and if they’re even thinking about coming to the kingdom
namor has told you multiple times that he’s got this, and he’ll be the one to handle it. but ever since you became queen of talokan, all you do is just sit around. you wanted to feel useful for once
so you took the matter into your own hands, and snuck out of the kingdom, not really knowing what you’re getting yourself into, and got caught
“k’kul’kan!” a young lady yelled as she walked out of the ocean, namor turned to see one of his civilians there
“what are you doing here?” he asked
“le reina! (the queen) she’s gone!”
no no no no no, how could you be gone? did somebody take you? are you hurt? how could the love of his life be in danger! he’s a god, how could he let something like this happen
namor found himself sending all his people to go find you, this wasn’t an easy matter to handle, you were the queen!
one of them found out where you were, and trust me, when they told namor that his queen was in danger and taken by the us government, they saw a whole new side of him
meanwhile, you were truly in danger, they spent no time in harming you to get you to talk
“who sent you!” the man yelled in your face as another punch came your way
“nobody! i swear—nobody” you cried
the man sighed, before signaling something and leaving
you took a moment to breathe, before a knife was sliding along your face, you screamed in pain when a cut made its way on your face
“please! no!” you screamed as they cut your skin
they heard a loud thump outside, and stopped
they went outside to see what happened, before mysteriously falling to the ground, and there stood namor
once he found out where you were, he didn’t take anyone with him, he wanted to kill all of them with his bare hands
you looked up to see him running to you, his hands gently holding your face as he looked at you with such fear in his eyes
you were bruised and cut, you were hurt and your eyes looked puffy, he would never ever wish to see this sight
“in yakunaj—what did they do to you! what—how did they get you! what—how—no—“
“i’m sorry” you cried
“sorry? what—why are you sorry?”
“it’s my fault”
“what—no, no, no—of course not—“
“it is, it is” you said, making him go quiet, ���i left the kingdom—to see what they’re up to, and—i just wanted to help” you sobbed
“you—you left the kingdom?” he said, you were quiet, and so was he.
he picked you up and took you home, the worry leaving his body, knowing that nobody saw him since they were all dead now
you two didn’t say a word, the people of the kingdom helped you, and fixed you up, while namor was on his own, he didn’t talk to you, he kept to himself
after a couple of hours, you went to see him, and saw him painting on his wall as usual. the room was filled with silence, as you stared at him, feeling the disappointment radiating
“i’m sorry” you cried, “please talk to me—“
“you risked the safety of this kingdom!” he yelled, the guards quickly picked up on what was about to happen, and left so they spare you some embarrassment
he turned to you, “you risked everything—just so you could see them? you are queen of talokan, your job is to sit here and stay here whether you like it or not! i told you i got it handled, and you were just so stupid to go and leave and almost get yourself killed! you know what would’ve happened to you if i wasn’t alerted? you’d be dead! dead! In kuxtal habría u Ts'o'okan. (my life would be over)”
you stood there, tears dwelling in your eyes, you walked away, not bothering to speak. he was right, you were stupid, stupid enough to go and try to get yourself killed, stupid enough to think you could help keep this kingdom safe, stupid enough to think you could handle a big responsibility.
you kept quiet for the rest of the day, you did your duties and stayed in the bedroom for a while
you sat on the couch in the room, you could hear footsteps approaching, but didn’t bother to get up and see
namor knocked on the door, “you didn’t show during dinner” he spoke, and you didn’t answer, he got closer to you, holding your hand
“i’m sorry for what i said, in yakunaj. i was just angry—and scared…” he said, and you frowned, “i was scared i was gonna lose you. i’m sorry i was so harsh, but i—when i saw you there, you looked…i just never wanted to see you like that. and i would do anything to make sure it stays that way, i know you get bored here, and you wish to do more. you will, but not right now. please be patient with me.” he said, he kissed your hand and held it tighter than before
“please talk to me” he said again
“im sorry for leaving—i just wanted to not feel useless for once”
“hey! don’t talk about my queen like that.” he said, and you lightly smiled
the two of you shared a kiss, and stared into each others eyes, you two loved each other, sure you fought sometimes, but who doesn’t?
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sweethartlullaby · 5 months
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but you liked me bad
word count: 664 genre/theme: toxic reader as always, imagine whoever you would like... sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist
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You could only lean over the edge a little bit before he pulled you back. 
“Are you stupid or crazy?” You looked into his eyes. He was concerned, exactly how you wanted him to be. 
You leaned in close to him, lips inches away. 
“Are you worried?” You muttered.
“Stop that.” His cheeks blushed. He looked cute when he was worried about you. You took a step back from him and then breathed out a cloud of vapor. Winter wasn’t here and yet, your heart was already ice cold. 
You took a seat on the edge, legs dangling over the city beneath you. It took him a few moments before he sat next to you, cross-legged. He was probably wondering the same question as you. What were you guys? What was this magnetic pull you seemed to have on him? Why did he show up? Why couldn’t he keep away?
Then he asked the most important question of all.
“Why did you call me?” You were impressed. His voice wasn’t shaking and he had the guts to speak up. 
“I wanted to.”
“You said you had something to tell me.”
“I lied.” 
“If you’re going to act like this,” You immediately faced him. 
“You’re going to leave?” You challenged him. He was frozen, between the colder air and your words, you were hoping it was the latter.
“I…” You stood up and brushed your clothes.
“Go on, leave then.” You nudged towards the door. He sighed before he stood up. 
“You can’t keep calling me just to chase me away.”
“If you want me to stop, then don’t pick up.” You said before taking a step towards him. 
“Unless,” You placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned in close. He still had the same perfume. He still used the same soap. He smelled like home, but you would never admit that out loud. 
“You don’t want me to stop calling you?” You mumbled, tracing your lips against his skin. 
“Stop.” He breathed but you knew him too well. It came out like a gasp, a secret signal to say he wanted more. 
“Or what?” You looked up at him with those eyes he adored so much. 
“We’re not good for each other.” He whispered but you didn’t look away. 
“I know.” You left a soft kiss on the corner of his lip. 
“But you want me, right?” 
He was right, or rather, half right. You weren’t good for him. You knew which buttons to push to make him come back, you knew the right things to say and do to make him want you again. You knew it would all end in flames but you still wanted it. You wanted the pain, the fights, the storms in your relationship. You wanted to see him beg for you, devour you with each kiss, hold you like this was the last time he would. You knew what made him tick. 
But he didn’t deserve that. No, this was where he was wrong. See, it wasn’t that he wasn’t good for you. In your world, where everything had a clock, he had always seen you as eternity. He wanted you, wholly, fully. He truly loved you. 
And even though you knew that, you couldn’t bring yourself to give it back. So you twisted him around and you played him like a fiddle. Even when he left, you didn’t wake up. You pulled him back in your bed and you did what you pleased. 
Some part of you wished he would just say-
“No.”
“I don’t want you like this anymore.” 
He took a step away from you. It was a strange feeling as if you were looking at yourself from another perspective. You could see your confusion. You could feel the heat of embarrassment. The air was suddenly colder and you had the urge to laugh or cry. You weren’t sure.
“This is the end. I hope we don’t meet again.”
Then he just left you.
a/n: i honestly thought this was going to be a good challenge for me, to write something with the reader being in the wrong. but i actually really disliked the experience. i kind of felt like scrubbing my brain clean after this. i kept thinking of people i didn't want to think about and it messed with me so there's that. but at least i tried it! thank you again for your support and i hope you liked this and that it turned out well. i might try this again in the future but right now i need a full cleanse. i will try to go back to my angsty writing soon!
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thevelria · 1 year
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I'm gonna make you mine... adult!Trunks x fem!reader (NSFW)
This story was a request from the lovely @sacredwarrior88 I do hope you're gonna like it <3
Summary: Y/N gave up on love a long ago, Trunks on the other hand fell in love with her the second they met. Oh and did I mention Trunks is Y/N's boss at the Capsule Corp? Warnings: swearing, heavy smut, going rough
“5 more minutes” you whined, trying to reach your phone on the nightstand and turn off that irritating ringtone you picked for the alarm. Rolling left and right in the bed, performing a smaller tantrum, finally you swung your legs to the side of the bed. Taking a huge breath and mentally preparing yourself for the day to begin.
“Am I too old to get a sugar daddy?” you wondered, while brushing your teeth with eyes closed. After you got ready in the bathroom you had to face the fact you had no idea what to wear. “Does the company have a dress code at all?” you frowned, browsing between your clothes in the wardrobe. A black tight skirt with buttons on the left side and a white also buttoned up blouse you picked. 
“Fuck, I’m gonna be late.” you cursed, trying to slide into your classic black heels, before grabbing your stuff and rushing to your car. 
Traffic. Yeah, you totally forgot about the traffic. “I cannot believe I’m gonna be late on my first day. Maybe it’s a sign, right? I should just go home. I can find another job somewhere else.” you bubbled, totally zoned out. A loud honk and an ever louder yell snapped you back to reality. “Move, bitch! It’s not gonna be any greener!” You rolled your eyes, while stepping on the gas and holding your forearm out of the window, flipping the bird.
“What did they say? Which floor?” you panicked, feeling totally lost in the building of the Capsule Corp. You held your papers close to your face, totally blocking the view from you. As you kept walking you bumped into someone. It felt like you'd walked into a brick wall. “What the…?” you lowered the documents, noticing a quite handsome man standing in front of you. His lavender hair and mesmerizing blue eyes made you blink twice.
“I’m so sorry, I should have…” -you bubbled, embarrassed.
“First day?” he pulled the sweetest smile ever.
“Yeah and I’m so lost.” you chuckled awkwardly.
“I’m Trunks” he held out his hand for a shake “Give me your paper and let me guide you to your workplace.”
“I’m Y/N” you accepted the offer, wondering how someone can be this beautiful.
Hushing the unholy thoughts out of your head as you followed him. You were completely shocked, his suit showed his perfectly builded body, his round ass and that back…that muscled back you would love to dig your nails in. Even if you gave up on love a long ago it didn’t mean you were blind and didn’t have needs. And Trunks looked just like your next mistake. 
“Here we are.” he opened the office door for you. Everyone in the room jumped up from their chair, bowing slightly, murmuring “Good morning, boss”.
“Boss?” your eyes widened, turning your face to Trunks.
“What? Oh yeah…” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck “I’m the CEO here.”
“Holy shit!” you slammed your palm against your mouth “I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t know. I had no idea…” 
“Shh…” he hushed you, laughing “It was fun. Hope to see you soon.” he winked at you before leaving. 
You tried your best, focusing on your task, trying to adjust to the environment, to the nice people around you, but deep down you were daydreaming about your boss. Thinking about things, which you shouldn’t have. But who could blame you? Trunks was way too attractive. On the other hand Trunks was sitting in his big ass boss chair in his office at the top floor of the company. Tapping his foot to the rhythm of a random song he was listening to. Finding himself smiling, while thinking about you. 
“She’s so freaking beautiful.” he sighed, laying back in the chair, resting his hands behind his head, biceps flexing. “Is it professional, if I ask her out? I mean, why not. It’s not against any policy of the company. Not to mention I’m the fucking boss here, I can do what I want.” he fought with his thoughts. 
The next few days you bumped into Trunks every single morning, at first you thought it was just a coincidence, but after the 3rd “accident” it felt weird. Like he would have been waiting for you, talking about totally meaningless things, like how the weather was, how you felt at the company, were you satisfied with the equipment and things like that. Thursday was the day, when he asked you to have a cup of coffee with him, before starting your day.
“The cafeteria is the other way.” you cleared your throat.
“What? No! We’re not gonna drink that dish water, it’s gross. I have, on the other hand, a super cool coffee machine in my office. You get to choose from hundreds of types of coffee. You’re gonna love it!” he blabbered with sparkling eyes. He didn’t even notice how excited he got about the fact of you having a coffee with him. 
His office was huge, nothing like any other office on the lower floors. Huge windows caged the whole room, brightness danced across. All the furniture matched, giving you some serious, but still gentle vibes. Some relics on different shelves and his sword on the wall above a big, leather couch. Your eyes glued to the sword, while holding your cup of extra super special boosted coffee. Actually you had no idea what you chose, you just picked the first one on the list and hoped it was going to be tasty. 
“It’s so beautiful.” you pointed at the sword on the wall.
“So are you…” Trunks tried to whisper.
“What?” you frowned, turning to face him, because you couldn’t hear him clearly. You might have heard him calling you beautiful, but it would have been surreal, right? 
“I…I said it indeed is. And also pretty useful.” he grabbed the grip, swinging the sword, showing off his skills. Your eyes widened at the sight, he looked so damn hot, you had to fight the urge of jumping on him. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?” Trunks giggled, witnessing your shocked look.
“Uhm, I’m sorry, sir. I just moved into this town a few weeks ago.”
“Just call me Trunks, please.” he smiled, placing the sword back at its holder. “I don’t even remember when was the last time I met someone who didn’t know me. It feels great, truly great.” he took a deep breath. “I’m usually not like this, but Y/N…” he stepped closer, reaching for your hand “May I ask you out for a date?”
“Sorry, what?” you almost choked on your coffee.
“I have no idea what happened to me, but since I first saw you I cannot get you out of my mind. I just…I need to get to know you, I need to make you mine.”
“Thank you for the coffee, sir.” you cleared your throat, placing the now empty cup on the coffee table. “It’s time for me to start the day.” you span on your heels and were about to leave, when he gently grabbed your wrist.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be disrespectful, really. But you are so beautiful, it drives me crazy.”
“Don’t say sorry. But I don’t date.”
“You don’t date your boss?” he raised one of his eyebrows.
“No, I don’t date at all. Love is dead to me, I gave up on it long ago. It’s the best way to keep your heart safe.” you sighed with so much in your voice. Trunks kept silent, letting you leave this time. 
2 weeks have passed and you didn’t see or hear from Trunks. You felt relieved, at first you truly believed he was going to fire you. But since nothing like that happened so far, it proved to you that Trunks was not a big headed, rich business man. 
Clocking out and driving home felt somehow different this day. You felt uneasy, but had no idea why. The second you parked your car you spotted the huge bouquet in front of your door. A tiny card hidden between the flowers was waiting for you. “Even if I tried, I cannot get you out of my head. Please have dinner with me!” The blush crawled upon your face rapidly, you slightly shook your head as you walked in the house with a huge smile on your face. A few hours have passed, when someone knocked on the front door. 
“Just a second!” you yelled, getting up from the couch in your typical evening outfit. The second you opened the door your breath stuck in your throat.
“What are you doing here?” was the only thing you could have pressed out from your mouth “How do you know my address at all?”
“I’m sorry that I…” Trunks looked nervous. “Your address is in the company’s system, so I just checked it.” he scratched the back of his neck. “Please, let me take you out for dinner. Please!” he begged. “If you won’t have fun I’m going to leave you alone, I swear. Just give me a chance, okay?”
Trunks was wearing light blue jeans with a buttoned up white shirt and a dark gray suit jacket. His whole outfit followed his body and showed his toned figure. Water ran through your mouth, when you rested your eyes on his sight. You bit your lower lip, before grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him inside the house. Shutting the door behind him, pressing him against the front door. 
“Y/N…what are you doing?” he looked confused.
“This is what you want, don’t you?” you leaned in, lips almost touching. His Adam’s apple bobbed, because you were right. He fantasized about you since the day he laid his eyes on you. The second Trunks nodded slightly, you released his shirt, smirking. Guiding him into your bedroom, closing the door behind him. His huge palms grabbed you, pulling you in and pressing his hungry lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss as you felt how eager his tongue was to find yours. His hands wandered up and down on your body, squeezing your ass hard. 
“Let me make something clear…” you said, while freeing him from his shirt, leaving him half naked.
“Anything, darling.” he kissed into your neck.
“It’s gonna be just sex, nothing else. I’m not gonna date you. I’m gonna use you for my own good. Do you understand that?”
“Y/N…” he tried to argue, but you pushed him slightly back, licking his abs. “Fuck” he growled, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you down on the bed. The arrogant smirk on your face turned him on even more. 
Trunks towered himself above you in an instant. Seeing his flexed muscles drove you wild. You grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss, as it deepened it got slopier second by second. His hand started to explore your body, running his palm up and down until it found its way under your shirt. Eagerly trying to free you from the cloth, pulling it above your head and tossing it aside, leaving you half naked.
“God, you’re so damn hot” he clenched his jaw, before his huge palm cupped your breast, squeezing it hard.
“Hm, I like that” you moaned.
“Do you?” his husky voice sent shivers down your spine “And what about this? Hm? You like that too?” he asked, as his fingers slid down on your body into your pants, softly rubbing your cloth covered pussy.
“I love it” you breathed heavily. “Trunks…” you moaned his name as he slid one of his fingers between your folds.
“Look at you.” he teased “Already so wet for me.”
“Shut up, you were fucking hard the moment I pressed you against the front door”
“True” he laughed, while freeing you from all of your clothes and starting to rub your clit with his thumb.
“Fucking hell.” you grabbed the sheet next to you.
He leaned in, kissing you again with so much passion it made your body jello, licking your neck, biting it hard. You knew he marked you, but the way he started to pump his two fingers in and out of your wet pussy kept you busy. His name rolled down from your lips, turning into lustful moans as you felt your climax was about to burst out.
“I’m gonna…I’m so close” you whined.
“Come for me, princess” he growled, keeping up the pace.
As he kept fingering you faster and faster you couldn’t hold it back anymore and rode your climax under him. After you finished, you pulled him into the deepest kiss ever, grabbing his shoulders and flipping him under you. You freed Trunks from his pants in an instant, admiring his huge, hard cock.
“Hm…” you smirked, spitting on it, then palming it immediately.
“Fuck, Y/N…” he threw his head back in the pillow. “You are so bad” he breathed heavily, as you kept palming him up and down. 
“But you love it, don’t you?” you clicked your tongue, slowly positioning him to your entrance. The second you lowered yourself down on his hard shaft you both let out an animalistic growl. It felt good, way too good. He filled you perfectly and the way your walls clenched around him drove him wild. He grabbed your ass hard, slapping your cheek and started pounding you without mercy.
“Fuck, yes” you moaned.
“You like it?” he hissed, grabbing your neck with one of his hands, choking you slightly.
“I love it, Trunks.” you placed your hands above his, gripping it tight “I like it rough” you smirked. This drove him insane, he grabbed your waist and in a second you were under him once again.
“Get on your stomach” he commanded and you obeyed without any hesitation.
“Lord…you are so big” you gasped as he entered you in an instant.
“You can take me, yeah? I’m sure you can take all of me.” he pushed himself in entirely. “Fuck, baby, you are so tight.” he bubbled under his nose. 
Pounding you roughly, gripping into the flesh of your hips, leaving behind marks pushed you closer to your climax.
“Trunks, I’m about to…” your words died mid sentence into a loud moan as you felt your orgasm rushing through your body.
“Come, baby, come on my cock.” he gritted his teeth, fucking you as fast as he could. The sound of the skin to skin contact and your lustful whines pushed him to his edge as well. “Y/N” his voice almost cracked from the unbearable pleasure “Baby I’m gonna cum…”
“I’m on birth control” you looked at him above your shoulder “Fill me up good” 
He didn’t need more, the second your words left your mouth you felt him twitching, pulsing inside of you. He thrusted once or twice more, before pulling out and dropping himself down next to you. 
“That was good” you giggled, pecking a quick kiss on his lips. “Let’s get a shower” trying to get up from the bed.
“Don’t you wanna stay a bit? Hugging or something?” he smiled, grabbing your wrist.
“For what?” you frowned “I’m literally dripping from your cum” you rolled your eyes.
“Fair enough” he laughed out loud. 
In the shower you had sex, twice more. After you finished and finally came out, you put on some PJ, crawled into your bed and was about to fall asleep. “Please lock the door behind you as you leave” you murmured. Trunks' eyes widened. He didn’t know what he actually expected, but he didn’t think for a second that you would kick him out. As he slowly got dressed and grabbed his stuff you fell asleep. He stepped next to your bed, watching for a few seconds as you peacefully slept. “I’m gonna make you mine” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 
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nterini · 1 year
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In Defense of Hira - A textbook case of C-PTSD caused by Childhood Abuse and Neglect
In a lot of the shows that I watch, especially with teens or young adults relating to trauma, or any genre really, there’s always a playful question on my mind: where are their parents? However, at this point in show, it’s becoming so much more apparent that the lack of support Hira received growing up, is fundamental to the way that he sees himself and his position in the world around him. So much so that as much as I want to joke about Hira being as dense as a stone wall, I find myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable in how much my own trauma and reactions to isolation mirror Hira’s.
Symptoms of complex PTSD
Feelings of worthlessness, shame and guilt.
Problems controlling your emotions.
Finding it hard to feel connected with other people.
Relationship problems, like having trouble keeping friends and partners. (Source: NHS)
How was Hira Traumatized?
He was left to his own defenses at an early age and had to fend for himself. Just because they provided him with a house and money for food doesn’t mean they took care of him. He was also bullied for a speech impediment and isolated by his peers as a result. He’s probably never had anyone listen to him closely or had close emotional or physical relationships in his life. Extended periods of neglect in childhood and then more intense isolation later on is extremely damaging.
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Trauma manifests differently. Before therapy, it was really difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that I wasn’t actually invisible to friends and family. It took a quite aggressive and embarrassing event, (now funny and touching really) for me to understand that if I deviated from my own patterns or if I disappeared or didn’t contact people for hours that people would actually miss me or think about me. I went out and watched a movie after an event, and told one person through text. After the two hour movie, I turned my phone back on and found 30 missed calls. My mother had informed me that she had called the police and that the principal had formed a search party for me. My face was plastered all over Snapchat by my classmates.  I was mortified by what I believed to be a waste of resources and time on my behalf. Such a loud display of love and even then all I could think about was hiding away and making myself smaller. I wasn’t even decent enough to acknowledge the pain, worry, and fear they felt at the thought that someone they loved went missing. It took multiple years later: a very a tentative mother and aunt, very involved teachers, mentors and friends plus therapy for me to stop feeling like a ghost. To get out of my own head and stop trying to fade in the background as a coping mechanism. After being abandoned by his mother to live alone in a house so she could be with the family she wants, after being isolated by his classmates for having a stutter all throughout high school, only one person knocked loudly enough at the door attached to the fortress Hira built in his mind to cope with his trauma. Kiyoi.
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That mental fortress is why Hira is alive today. It kept him safe when he had to sleep in the dark alone as a young boy when he had to cook his own meals. His social ineptitude is due to years of isolation and degradation by those around him. He wasn’t deemed worthy enough by his own mother to be taken care of. Yet Kiyoi loves and sees him. Kiyoi says his name and holds his hand and kisses him and suddenly Hira is solid mass. Not a shadow on the wall or the useless child not worth keeping. He becomes slightly more than nothing. In Hira’s mind he becomes a pebble. Sigh. Well it’s a start. But it’s not enough. It’s gonna take a real miracle for Hira to overcome years of trauma and see himself as a human being. I believe in him though. He’s so brave. No like really though, some of the shit he says is so cringey it takes real guts. Kiyoi is not going to give up on Hira anytime soon he’s too much of an exhibitionist for Hira and a freak (endearingly). Also, Hira is obsessive and intense, so they’re a perfect match.
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He just needs proper counseling and a bit of time. I’m rooting for them.
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