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rhaenyras · 3 years

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EXTENDED LIST OF THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH CHAPTER 139

ymir the founder fritz, aka the most powerful and compelling plot device that isayama could have ever employed in order to explain the origin of the titans, the inherent slavery of the eldian people, and also everything else wrong in the world, was emptied of all value and purpose when she was revealed to have loved her abuser and oppressor. her life-long struggle to break free from the slave mentality that was pounded into her since childhood turned out to be... totally hollow. the woman's real purpose was to keep loving the man who cut off her tongue, raped her as a child and eventually had her cannibalized by their daughters when she failed to survive a murder attempt on his person. which makes for a very pinpoint parallel with eren, tbh, but he gets a whole paragraph all to himself later. amor vincit omnia should not become a convenient fix-it trope so that stuff can magically make sense in less than 50 pages. not to mention that this makeshift “solution” doesn't account for countless plot holes, that would only make sense if ymir was an abuse survivor looking to get her agency back. and even if i was keen on excusing the sloppy writing, i still wouldn't let the whole romanticisation of rape and trauma thing slide so easily. by giving a young victim like ymir fritz romantic feelings and a blind devotion towards her rapist, isayama is basically conveying a very pitiful and toxic message, one he refuses to even dignify with a realistic explanation for the thousands of readers who couldn't make a sense of it. the way this twisted version of love seems to be universally accepted by all the characters in the last chapter, as they just shrug it off like some sort of inevitable superior force that works in mysterious ways, made me wanna gouge my eyes out and never read another word again

mikasa's arc. mikasa had the potential to be the only character in the entire manga to come out on top when all was said and done. she had openly opposed eren's idea of a genocide. she had left the scarf behind when he voiced his hatred for her. she seemed ready enough to sever the proverbial umbilical cord and move on, live a life with pride, knowing how she could have outgrown her silly, dependent, obsessive old self. she might have started out as a yandere caricature, a passive and annoying side-effect to having eren as the main character, but she could have done so much better later on. she, too, just like ymir fritz, might have broken free, if only isayama liked liberated and strong women. she had the range. she had the potential, the backstory, everything. given the chance, she could have redeemed herself. but did isayama care? nope. he just threw her to the sickos in the fandom and said “here's your little psycho doll. do what you will with her. also, she's the key to understanding the superior force that works in mysterious ways aka love aka all the nonsense i'm actually too lazy to commit to”. and so, mikasa is as inconsequential in the ending as she ever was as eren's ever-present bodyguard, if not more, because now she's even refusing to look ahead and fight. two things that she at least tried to do every so often back when eren was alive. not only she surrendered to her own mental illness, but she even saw it turned into a pretty fantasy that the readers can idealise (again, romanticisation of all the wrong things) and that she'll never be able to escape so long as she lives. what's worse, she doesn't even want to, because in this manga we love downgrading and being stuck in the past, as the worst possible versions of ourselves.

historia's pregnancy. it shouldn't even have happened in the first place, unless it was dictated by historia's explicit desire to have a child precisely when she asked for one and by that one unnamed farmer guy and nobody else. whether that was the case or not remains, to this day, still shrouded in mystery because, again, isayama didn't think of coming clean about any aspect of historia's sudden decision. the notion that she might have been raped or submitted to something she really didn't want simply for the drama of it leads to some pretty terrifying implications. i have already explained countless times how it didn't even make sense for eren to be so adamant about rejecting the 50 year plan on account of not wanting historia to be breeded like cattle, titanised, and eventually devoured by her children, if he was just... gonna let her have her way, she only had to ask him nicely. why ever would historia need eren's permission to have a child? what was she even trying to tell him in chapter 130? why did eren tell her something as pivotal as the genocide plan if the friendship between them wasn't any different from any other in the 104th? why would eren take the risk to meet her in secret and suggest that they do something as radical as fighting the mp's or running away, if all she had to do was just... ask that he let her get pregnant? i suppose that was just a bait for a very specific side of the fandom, at this point, as the extent of the entire cryptic conversation from ch. 130 was never covered, and we were probably just supposed to forget about it. I can only forgive isayama for basically baiting me into shipping erehisu because he still gave historia a decent wrap-up in the ending, she looked in control and happy enough with her new life, which is something i warmly wished for her. she seems to be in a better spot than most of her former comrades, and virtually, she is the true inheritor of eren's original (and later disowned) ideology, as she is the one who will lead eldia into the future as a free nation, whatever that may mean for them now that titan powers are no longer a thing. I'm very proud of her and generally i am happy with how things played out for her and yeah, thinking back on it with a colder mind... i wouldn't have wanted it any other way, ships be damned

wHY WAS LEVI IN A WHEELCHAIR????? like..... scars aside, he was up and about in one panel, and in the next he was disabled... that was just... idk?? weird but i suppose isayama went overboard to provide us with some residual dramatic value here

the genocide being just a red herring. APPARENTLY eren never believed that the genocide was a solid way to achieve freedom. his true intention was to antagonize himself so that his friends would be hailed as heroes, but like... why... he didn't even achieve the complete annihilation of conflict in the world by doing so? his friends might be heroes now, but they're going to spend the rest of their lives fighting for their very lives. if anything, eren sparked new conflicts and made the new order so much worse for the eldians, as they have no choice but to keep fighting, except with the same weapons as anybody else now. he basically doomed his people to a bleak future of war and possibly extinction. he killed 80% of the entire world to cause nothing but a disappointing regretful outcome, and in the end he even disowned everything he ever believed in. in comparison, zeke's euthanasia plan was some genius level shit that would have achieved the same result as eren, except with not nearly as much bloodshed.

the parasite. again, great idea, poor execution. what on earth happened to it? it was the Scientific Shit that made titans happen one moment, and then gone in the next, wrestled to death by a buff war criminal with ptsd... my disappointment is over the roof

eren himself. like, as a whole. oh, what's not to regret about the 180 eren did in the finale? witnessing a mc forsaking every relevant trait that's ever made him who he is, is simply painful on the eyes. isayama basically went and said “remember eren yaeger aka the suicidal blockhead who would sacrifice everything in order to achieve freedom? yes? well forget about him, you've got aaron yogurt now.” …... who even is this man? when he broke down and cried in front of armin, whining like a baby that he wanted mikasa to never move on from him, i legit got second-hand embarassment. I felt actual shame for the way isayama handled his characterisation. like... he is a mass murderer, ok... how can he just... kneel down and cry about his step-sister whom he never did anything to date anyway like it's nothing??? armin is right to be pissed at him but he's pissed for the wrong reasons, sadly. I don't even want to tackle the topic of eren murdering his own mother, as he basically confessed to going through life on autopilot because the founding titan just erased all his feelings, gave him superior knowledge of all things and compelled him to go with the flow of things, aka the exact opposite of what he's been preaching ever since day 1. W HAT on earth man. like i said in point #1, eren's crush on mikasa is actually very frightening too, and it leads us back to that one dark force that overpowered even ymir fritz. eren is in love with a girl who's obsessed, in denial and damaged. and what's worse, mikasa reciprocates his feelings, even though eren always overlooked her or manipulated her. ymir fritz kept misunderstanding all those red flags from the king as love, probably. this is really not a story of breaking the cursed cycle, because it seems to me that everyone has returned full circle in the end.

CONCLUSION: nothing isayama or anyone might have said in interviews or elsewhere could have prepared me for this raging shitfest. the entirety of that last chapter was farfetched to say the least, everything looked half-hearted and rushed, clumsily glued together because the real isayama died and somebody else had to ghostwrite the ending for him. I am sorry if i do sound a bit disillusioned about the whole thing and can't bring myself to be outraged either, but i've been way too invested into this manga for nearly a decade, and now it all blew up in my face, so i guess i no longer give it the power to upset me lol

#sorry for the wait guys. it's not even that great lol i just had to get some things off my chest and then forget about it #i didn't even edit lol. snk doesn't deserve my efforts #snk spoilers #snk #aot spoilers #anti aot #chapter 139 spoilers #aot #snk chapter 139

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princecharmingmendes · 3 years

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Heart by Heart | Chapter III | Raul Mendes

*secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the third chapter of this series, you can find the first one here. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 4.1K+

*Warnings: cursing, probably wrong tips about physical fighting (I'm sorry, I know shit about it!), therefore mentions of physical fight (only training though), jealousy if you squint.

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings.

*Posted: July 15th, 2021.

-*-

Y/N wishes she could punch Raul’s perfectly aligned teeth and annoying smirk away.

Ever since their mission was announced a couple of days ago, Raul made her work out hard, harder than she’s been doing for a while. It’s not like she was in a bad shape, she couldn’t exactly avoid training being constantly sent on field missions. But since she normally stood on a far safe distance, she didn’t need to run 10 miles everyday on the treadmill or on the streets -which was her best friend’s preferred spot since the terrain was irregular and they had to be alert every single minute so they don’t end up being hit by a car. And that’s precisely what he made her do.

They had to be at work at 8:00 a.m. every day, so Raul picked her up at 5:30 so they could have breakfast before their run, she’d then curse him on the way back to her apartment so they could get ready. He would only laugh at her, promising it would be worth it. Then they’d go into a meeting to discuss final details with the people they picked to form their team. After a long meeting arranging mostly details and cover up stories, they’d go to lunch, only to come back and train using the new gear, shooting and physical fight. The group had to be ready to face pretty much everything imaginable, the risk of this mission was like no other Y/N could remember, so they had to be the best of the best.

So yeah, maybe Raul was just being careful, but she was sure he was only finding new ways to torture her.

That’s why the team consisted on Raul as the captain, or co-captain as she liked to tease, and Y/N as the responsible for the strategy. There was Jack who was picked to be Raul’s right hand on the field, he was an experienced agent and has worked with him on many occasions, meaning their chemistry on the field was great. He was a huge, strong man with the sweetest and kindest heart, always laughing out loud and making jokes around. Then there was Celine. Celine’s past is a mystery no one was able to figure out, at least not yet. She was not a person of many words, always quietly watching everyone and everything, ready to shoot the first one that comes her way. Despite being Daphne’s cousin, who was all soft touches and pastel colors, Celine was brutally honest and even a little blunt, but had a great soul with good intentions, maybe just not the best person skills on the team.

And despite all that, she seemed to like Y/N for some reason, wasn’t the biggest fan of Raul, but she didn’t deny he was a great agent. So Y/N picked her cause she trusted her with her life, knowing she would do anything necessary to finish their mission. And then there was Thomas. Tommy as Raul liked to tease, was a newly turned full agent (three month ago to be precise) and still lacked a bit of that intuition only time and experience could give you, nonetheless he was a suggestion the boss made herself. Thomas was a great agent, with fresh ideas and still a bit naive, but he was quick at thinking, new a lot about tech and was a great field agent high made him a lot more complete than older ones. And with that, the team was closed and all worked out together after lunch until their bodies gave out.

And to make it simple, the beginning was hellish, the end of the week was just like the beginning.

The first day they started training physical combat, she was paired with Celine, which she was sure was attempted murder. Five minutes fighting she was on the floor, unable to move and breathing hard. Raul quickly climbed on the ring, helping her to get up as he told Celine to replace him with Tom. He moved her to sit on the little bench and brought her a bottle of water as she shook her head.

“You know I can walk and do this myself, right?”

Raul huffed an amused laugh and nodded, sitting beside her “of course I do, doll, just taking care of my girl, yeah?”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, bumping his shoulder with hers as she chugged the water down “maybe I’m way worst than I originally thought”

“No, you’re not bad” he said shaking his head and she let out an annoyed breath “I mean it, you’re just rusty, this is not your field anyway, and you can’t use any weapons on the ring, so it’s harder, come on, you just need to activate muscle memory” Raul said patting her back as he got up.

“Wish I could believe in myself like you do” she giggled sadly as she took his bigger outstretched hand, letting him pull her up.

“Me too, but don’t worry, we’ll get there, that’s why you have me, silly” he pinched her cheeks “now come on, you’ve got a lot to remember”

He took her to the punching bags, grabbing a pair of gloves for him to wear for her to punch. Then proceeded to bark orders and different combinations of moves, and surprisingly, she remembered most of them, not necessarily executing them perfectly, but it was a start. He then got rid of the gloves before carefully wrapping her hands and moving her to a punching bag.

“Here’s the thing, doll, you know what you’re doing, you just need to do it better” He placed his hands on her shoulders straightening her position, one hand sliding down her right arm to correct the movement “try it now” he said, his warm breath on her ear, making her suppress a shiver and forcing her to focus on the bag in front of her.

Y/N tried and it definitely improved, but it still wasn’t what she remembered doing, something felt off “okay, yeah, thanks”

“Good, now fix your legs, you’ll be fighting someone who possibly knows how to fight back, so rearrange your feet to gain more balance in case they come for you” he instructed, hands still on her shoulders as he used his own feet to fix hers in the floor “yeah, that’s it, now the strength” his gently glided down her arms, only for them to stop at her waist and stomach “this is where you have to focus on, contracting abdominal muscles will help the movement and impact of your punch, this is what you’re missing”

She knew he wasn’t necessarily teasing her or anything, this was just Raul trying to help her in his very touchy way, but that didn’t stop Y/N from becoming a bit speechless, not trusting her own voice to respond, she only nodded her head. To which he just laughed stepping back.

“Relax your shoulders and don’t forget how to breathe, doll” he said crossing his arms above his chest as he watched her finally letting go of her breath, taking a deep one before punching a few times

It wasn’t perfect, but it was almost there.

Raul knew she was good and completely capable of taking anyone down within seconds, her grades on every test they ever took serving as even more proof for them. She just needed to remember it a bit and he wanted her to be completely ready to face anything, he couldn’t afford her getting hurt on anybody’s watch, specially his. So he would do anything he possibly could to avoid that.

“Good, now give a few more, try a few kicks” he said and she looked back at him to nod, her breathing a bit elaborate “I’ll meet on the ring later, sweetheart” Raul added with a wink before turning around to see the rest.

“Fuck you” he heard her mumbling before turning back to her task at hand, making him chuckle lightly as he moved around the gym.

Raul walked around helping as he could, wrestling with Jack for old time’s sake, adjusting a few of Tom’s moves and helping Celine with the new guns they’re given. He even managed to train a bit himself, before he decided it was time to take her to the ring before Y/N gave up on him and moved to something else. So he walked up to find her talking to Jack, he couldn’t hear much, but he heard enough to know it was time to intervene.

“-yeah, Adrian keeps asking me about you, I think he wants to take you out, you should go, he’s a great guy and word around he’s good in what he does, if you know what I mean” he teased wiggling his eyebrows at Y/N, making her giggle “you should go out with him, really, you’re both single”

“He can ask her out when we’re back, the only date she’s having for now is on the ring, come on, doll” Raul cut the conversation before he could listen to her reply.

“Jealous, cap?” Jack asked with a lopsided smile on his lips as she just laughed.

“Of Y/N? All the time, a pretty girl like her always has everyone’s attention, you should see whenever we go out to eat something or whatever”

Y/N rolled her eyes “oh please, shut up, both of you”

“I mean it, doll, now come on, let’s see how you improved” he said cracking his knuckles “and you, haven’t you got anything better to do than gossip?”

“Of course not, I’m all done” Jack replied.

“Done of getting your ass beaten today, you’ll only be ready whenever you’re able to take me down” Raul said as he draped his arm around Y/N’s shoulder.

Jack only threw a middle finger at Raul as both of the boys laughed.

Y/N and Raul climbed on the closest ring, with her stretching a bit as he did the same, both in some sort of staring competition. Everything with them could easily become a competition -who drank water fastest, little races to get to a certain place, who could count the most amount of super specific cars on a road trip, but the most common and their personal favorite, staring competition. And that was a recurring thing ever since they’re basically babies. And they both hated loosing and would try as hard as they could to beat the other.

Raul’s mind was racing. He wanted to ask if she was actually interested in someone at if she’d say eyes to whoever wanted to ask her out, or even if she actually looking for a date or maybe even if she didn’t want a serious relationship for now. All that while he had this beautiful sparkling with excitement eyes staring into his soul, leaving him bare for her to read. Meanwhile, she was only trying to concentrate on what was about to happen and also on trying to keep her heart at a normal pace, knowing full well she was about the get really close to her best friend. Also having the other stare at her so intently it was making it hard for her to breathe properly.

“Ready?”

Raul only smiled at her “Was born ready, doll”

Y/N then surged forward, getting him by surprise with her punch landing on his shoulder, and he had to admit, her punch was good. With the element of shock on her favor, she tried hitting him again, clearly avoiding his face. Raul then stepped forward regaining his composure and cornering her slowly, only blocking her attempted attacks, without fighting back. He then was kicked hard on the thigh, a surprised yelp leaving his lips with the painful sensation spreading through his muscles, and just as she was about to hit him in his chest, he grabbed her hand, the other being quick to join his grasp on his right hand.

“Not so bad, sweetheart” he said with a triumph smile on his lips but she was quick to get her left hand loose moving around to get out of the space he guided her to limit her space.

Then she started her series of punches and kicks again, him dodging most of them, but still being hit a few times making him proud but at the same time breath heavier on the pain spreading on his abused skin. When her hand came to hit him in the chest again, he grabbed it, already bringing the other one to join, before bringing her to the floor and immobilizing her with his own body. Y/N stopped struggling quickly, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to do much to get out of his grasp. She was panting heavily, but it was worth it, cause she was able to make him sweat and be a little less composed than when they started.

“Bet your secret admirer would be proud” Raul said still unmoved on top of her.

“Bet he would” Y/N sassed back and Raul chuckled, dropping his head to her collarbone and she swear her heart skipped a beat, her breath hitching on her throat.

Raul got up, offering a hand to her, which she gladly took “are you going out with him?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even know if that’s true or the guy, maybe? I think this is not the moment, so maybe i’m the future, who knows?” she shrugged, grabbing her water bottle and drinking before offering it to him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right” he said closing it again, pulling the ropes for her to step out.

Y/N turned around to face Raul, and as she waited for him she asked “what about you?”

“Me? What about me?” Raul stared at her, noticing the others were already gone.

“Are you proud?” she asked with a teasing smirk, voice playful, but deep down, that was all that mattered to her. Not Adrian or anyone else.

“I’m always proud of you, doll” he smirked at her and she only shook her head giggling “but yes, you’re good at it, just a bit more practice, you’re a natural”

-*-

“Come on, sweetheart, climb up here and I’ll let you all go so you can get ready for tomorrow” Raul said as he was propped up by the hopes on the ring, a smirk on his lips as everyone started gathering around.

It was the last day of preparing before they left the next morning. They’ve spent the whole week perfecting their skills and cover ups until it rolled out smoothly off their tongues. Y/N and Raul started a routine, they decided to set camp on his living room since it was a lot bigger than hers, so they would wake up already on his place, grab breakfast, run for a while before going straight to work. Then they’d meet their teammates for a brief discussion, after hitting the gym until their limbs gave out. When it neared 6 p.m., they’d leave for his place where they’d shower and order takeout or cook something simple, before talking until they fell asleep, most nights on the living room.

And despite she remembered as clear as day she fell asleep on the couch, she would wake up on his bed, wrapped on a heavy duvet, with the sound of water droplets hitting the ground from his bathroom. They never talked about it, both acting as if this routine was normal and settled for years now. And it was shocking how well they fit the role of this whole domestic situation. And Peter was loving it, always throwing knowing looks at her whenever she went to visit his lab area.

Y/N only rolled her eyes at him and Celine bumped her shoulder on Y/N’s, a feline smile gracing her sharp gorgeous features, and then she turned to the six feet man standing at the edge of the ring “fine, but you’re buying me dinner”

“Whatever you want, and if you’re able to win, I’ll even buy sushi for you and give you a back massage” he offered as he pulled the ropes to help her climb, bowing his head trying to hold back a chuckle.

She climbed on as he let the rope snap back into its place “And what would I have to do if I loose?” she teased, knowing full well she was going to take the offer only to have a chance to rub his smirk on the dirty and sweaty ground beneath her feet.

“Pack my bag and say I’m the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on” he stated simply. And honestly, it wouldn’t be such a hard thing to do, but first, she wouldn’t want to add it to his already over inflated ego, second, she didn’t know if she would be able to say it without blurting out some other compromising feelings.

But Y/N stares at him and smiled lazily, like she wasn’t bothered at all and truly contemplating his offer “tempting”

“Come on, babydoll” he mockingly pouted at her and she playfully sighed rolling her eyes, cracking her knuckles and rolling her head.

“Alright, but you better be ready to order from my favorite place and get me dessert” she added with a pointed look and he nodded eagerly.

“You make the rules” he winked before walking backwards to his designated spot “ready?”

“Yeah, let’s get this over it so you can buy me dinner” she teased, watching from the corner of her eyes as her teammates and even Peter gathered around to watch “or we can just stay here all night watching you brag about yourself and being all talk no action”

Raul laughed before shaking his head and a more concentrated look latch onto his eyes “don’t hold back, sweetheart”

“Not my thing” she said before taking a deep breath and trying to remember all she learned this week, making her first move.

Raul blocked her relatively easily, and then their movements flowed in an intricate rhythm. With only a few days of training, the improvement on her technique was obvious as she maneuvered a lot more gracefully than before. Her hits a lot more consistent, her defense was up and she was able to notice her opponents weakness so she could plan the next move. Y/N was also able to notice patterns on their tactics and predict their next move.

And he was a bit shocked. In a good way, but shocked nonetheless.

He knew she was good, Raul’s seen her training before, saw all her tests and grading throughout the years. Hell, he even taught her a lot of tricks he picked up over the years, so he knew how she behaved on a physical fight, knew her favorite moves and her worst ones like the back of his hand. But she surprised him with a few new hits and tricks he hasn’t seen her doing before. And that’s what caught him off guard and made her hit him hard a couple of times. That made Raul proud. Sure, he would loose the bet, but giving her a back massage, buying her food and seeing her happy after defeating him was priceless.

He didn’t make it easy for her, he never would. He wanted her to be the best of the best, always. So he hit back, avoiding her head or going to strong, she had to be whole for the other day. But that didn’t stop him from trying to take her down, but she was quick, she wasn’t too strong, but her agility made up for it.

“Come on, we have an audience, we should put on a show”

Y/N shook her head, concentration never leaving her determined eyes “I’m not an actress to entertain a crowd, nor a clown like you, baby”

“Hey!” he sounded offended, grabbing her fist in his bigger hand “rude”

She just shrugged, pulling her hand back before going back into action and it couldn’t be even more exciting. The teasing, the meaningless banter and still great performance on the wrestle was enough to put an ease on Raul’s heart. She could do it. Of course she could, but now there would be less collateral damage.

So when he felt her kick him to the ground, quickly pinning him to the rubber type material floor, immobilizing him in a way he wasn’t even able to move his arms if she didn’t let go. Y/N was sat on his stomach, face hovering centimeters above his, breath on frantic rhythm, as he panted on her face, feeling the slow pain crippling on his back and limbs where it collided with the floor. Raul couldn’t help but smile at the surprised and amused glint on her eyes as she was slowly processing she was able t take him down. The cheerful screams around them were only white noise as they stared at each other’s eyes, and he already felt like his heart was going to burst with pride and happiness, that until he heard the gleeful flightless leaving her lips as realization finally hit her, her forehead hitting his clavicle as she laughed, pure joy coursing through her veins.

He ended up laughing with her, his cheeks hurting from the smile stretched across his face. Y/N nuzzled her face on his neck still buzzing happily as she laughed. Raul turned his head lightly, only enough to press a kiss to her temple as she recovered her breathing.

When she finally did, she untangled her legs from his, getting up from his torso and offering a hand at him, which he gladly took as he stood up, facing his colleagues as they still laughed and cheered at her. Celine climbed up to meet her with a quick, sharp, strong hug in congratulations before dragging her down with her. Jack was quick to pat Raul on the back as he chuckled, mumbling a ‘good luck with your girl, dude, she’s a badass and you’re gonna need it’. When he finally met her eyes again, he offered her his hand and Y/N automatically took it, letting him pull her closer until she was in his arms.

“That was insane, doll, shit, you did so good” he said, arms loosely looped around her waist and she beamed proudly at him.

“I did work hard for that” Y/N shrugged trying to play it coy but he was only able to chuckle.

Raul nodded “yeah, I noticed, and I’m so fucking proud of you for that, and many more reasons, but that?! You’re the fucking best, you know?” he praised and she felt her body heating up.

“Actually” she said softly, looking down at his silver necklace “Celine’s the best, she showed me a few new tricks that I combined with the ones you taught me and the ones I already knew, so yeah”

“When did that even happen?” he didn’t try hiding his initial shock. They’ve been basically around each other 24/7, how did he not notice her training with someone else the past week?

“Well, to be fair you’re too cocky for your own good” Y/N had that pointed look in her eyes as she poked him on his broad chest “so I kinda asked her to show me how I could take you down and we’ve been doing it in secret, mostly when you went down to meet with Peter or to practice shooting”

“So it was a whole scheme just to try to embarrass me and knock me out?” he’s tone in a playful accusation as his brows shot up in evident disbelief.

“To sum it up, yeah, pretty much” she shrugged innocently as Raul threw his head back laughing.

“That's fucking awesome, you’re amazing” he said letting go of her waist, only to turn to face their team, dropping his arm around her shoulders “alright, guys, it was a hard week but I believe it paid off. We learned a lot with each other and I believe we’re a lot better now. This is still a fucked up mission, but I think we’re ready to face it and as long as we keep on working together and communicating well, we’ll be alright and coming back home as soon as possible, yeah? Think we should call it a day and test tonight”

“Okay, cap” Tom replied eagerly making Y/N chuckle before shaking her head.

“So what do you say, cap?” Y/N asked teasingly as the others laughed.

Raul smiled down at her as he shook his head “Think we’re ready, doll”

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

@mariamuses

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harryhandstan · 3 years

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wonderful and warm

gif credit

I’m so excited to share this piece with y’all for @tbslenthusiast‘s dad-a-thon!! I’ve been debating whether or not to expand more on I Want Your Belly for a while now, so I’m considering this part two to that, though you don’t really have to read it first to understand this one. Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

thank you @peachybloomss and @tbslenthusiast for beta reading for me! love y’all both!!

word count: 2.6k

You had been adamant about not telling anybody for at least the first two months.

Your mom’s complications with each of her pregnancies prompted a fear in you that you might share in that gene she carried, so you just wanted to be sure. Make it to your first ultrasound at least to confirm the baby was happy and healthy. Harry, of course, had agreed to whatever it was you felt was best. He wanted you to be comfortable and truth is, all the complications or things that could go wrong, terrified him too.

But the second you put this man in front of a crowd, all his previous filters go out the window and it was slipping from his lips easily, telling the world that you were having his baby. You were angry at first, spending half of the show trying to calm your shaky hands. Honestly, most of it was just nervous energy at the idea of so many people knowing. It was out, and you had no control over the reactions of the millions of people that shared in loving your Harry. He was quick to remind you that you were the one he loved, no one else’s opinion mattered to him and it shouldn’t to you either.

Making such a public announcement meant the news reached your families ears a lot faster than you’d planned too, and you just didn’t want any of them to be hurt that they weren’t told first.

Anne is the first one to contact Harry from his side, promptly inviting you to dinner the following weekend with a small group of Harry’s family. But the closer you get to the day, the more anxious you are and he once again reminds you how much his family adores you already, would now love you even more.

“Even more than they love me now, probably,” He chuckles, taking your hand on the drive to his mother’s house, “Gonna be just like any Sunday dinner at Mum’s, innit? We just have something a little extra special t’celebrate now, lovie.”

Gemma answers the door to let the two of you in and she tugs you in for a hug, pulling you into the house without so much as a glance to her younger brother.

“Nice to see you too, Gem.” He follows the two of you inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Ignore him..someone’s just jealous they won’t be Mum’s favorite anymore.” She giggles, rolling her eyes as she leads you into the kitchen where Anne mimics her daughter’s greeting, scolding Harry playfully that he spoiled the surprise so soon.

By the end of the night, the two of them are already making predictions about what the baby will be, giving family name suggestions, and planning a baby shower for you.

Calling your family was a whole new level of anxiety you hadn’t experienced yet on this journey, and you paced back and forth in front of the desk where your iPad was already set up to FaceTime them. Harry sits on the foot of the bed, waiting for your nerves to settle enough to contact them.

“D’you want me to join you?” He doesn’t look at you, just continues to fiddle with one of the buttons on his shirt.

Your head pops up to where he sits, “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs, “S’just..sometimes I think you might still be a bit mad at me. For letting it slip earlier than we wanted. Thought you might wanna talk to them alone first..in case they’re upset with me too.”

“I was never really mad. And I don’t think they’ll be upset..just may take them a little longer to accept that I didn’t tell them before you told everyone. They may not have even seen it yet.”

That was a lie. Your sister had texted you last night saying that she was thrilled to soon have a niece or nephew, but your mom had cried for a two whole days after they saw a clip from the show and your dad refused to even talk about it. Your brother was normally so far out of the loop that you truly didn’t know if he had heard the news, so you make a mental note to call him later too.

You wouldn’t tell Harry any of that though, not now anyway. Maybe later, when everything didn’t feel so tense. You knew your family wouldn’t be upset forever, they loved Harry almost as much as you did. The joy of having a new baby added to the family would soon override any hurt they were feeling now.

“Harry, whatever they say..this is still happening. I’m still having your baby. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that makes me.”

The smile he gives you makes your heart flutter, drawing you closer to sit next to him.

“Say that again.”

“What? How happy I am..”

“No, the part before that.”

A giggle works its way up through your chest, a deep blush flushing your cheeks, “I’m having your baby,” You can’t resist, the tune now stuck in your head, changing the lyric slightly to fit, “It’s none of their business.”

“What? S’your family, of course it’s their..oh, right.” He shares in your laughter, melting away any tension that had settled in the room, restoring your confidence that everything would be alright.

As many changes as your body had gone through during pregnancy, one thing that hadn’t changed was Harry’s love for your belly. His obsession had grown with each month, constantly finding reasons to be close to you throughout your days spent together. Usually it was a hand nudged gently against the side of your bump, trying to coax the baby to kick or move for him.

Your child already adored the sound of their dad’s voice, would normally start to wiggle around the second Harry would start talking or singing anywhere around you. The first time it happened, the two of you were attending a birthday party for a friend and Harry was halfway across the room, animatedly telling a story to a group of your mutual friends. It was one of the many reasons you had fallen for him so quickly, his ability to have a room full of people so captivated by a tale you were sure they had heard at least 5 times before.

But he doesn’t seem to care about anyone else’s reactions, his eyes continuously flicking back to gauge your feedback, knowing which parts make you laugh the hardest no matter how many times you’d listened to him tell it. When your mouth falls open with a soft gasp and a hand clutching the side of your belly, he hurries through the ending to weave his way back through the party to you.

“You okay, love? Somethin’ wrong?” The tears falling on your dress don’t match the glowing smile radiating across your face and he’s turning his head amusingly from where he hovers over you.

“Everything’s great, H. Think someone just loves the sound of daddy’s voice.” You take the drink he still holds in his hand and set it on the table in front of you, turning your body to face him and tugging his wrist down to where you had felt the kick moments before, “Say something else now that you’re closer. See if she moves for you.”

“She? You find out somethin’ you wanna tell me, darlin’?”

“No, just a feeling. Haven’t you thought about which you would rather us have?”

He shakes his head no, his eyes bright with a pride you’ve never seen burn so intensely, “As long as you and they end up happy and healthy in the end, s’all that matters to me.”

He scoots his body to sit on the bench next to you, bending his head to speak softly, “Hello, little one. S’daddy. Mummy’s here too. Wanna move around a bit more f’us?”

He rests his head there for a moment, a hand rubbing along the side of your stomach, not caring who at the party may see the two of you or how silly he may look. He looks like a child who’s just been granted his one and only wish when your baby responds, a foot landing against where his cheek is pressed.

“There you are, baby. You kickin’ at me? Cheeky little thing y’are already..just like mummy, huh?” He turns to kiss the spot where the foot had been, ”We’re g’nna have so much fun when you get here, angel.”

Harry watches your feet a lot more closely these days.

You didn't notice it at first. But today as you're coming down the stairs, you catch his eyes watching carefully as he waits for you. One of your hands cradles your bump that seems to be growing daily now, while the other glides along the railing to keep yourself steady.

"Am I wearing mismatched shoes or something?" You lean forward in an attempt to look at your feet over your belly, nearly toppling down the last few stairs. The look on Harry's face would have been comical if it wasn't laced with so much fear as he lunged forward to meet you and help you the rest of the way down.

"Careful!" Even with you settled safely now against his side, his voice is full of worry, "Nothing's wrong with your shoes, honey. Just wanted to make sure you made it down safely, know how clumsy y'are."

"You worry too much, Harry. I would've made it down fine if you hadn't been staring at my feet."

"My girl's carrying my baby..m’allowed to worry about you both. Y'sure I can't convince you to stay home and let me do the grocery shopping this week?"

"No, I wanna go. Last time you forgot the bagels."

"Are you ever gonna forgive me for that?" You're glad to see the fear has fallen away from his face as you both reach the bottom of the stairs together.

"Maybe." You shrug, "Might take a few more kisses though."

"Deal." One of his hands comes to rest warmly on the underside of your belly, the other one still supporting the small of your back as he bends down to place kisses across your face.

A kick from within your stomach has both of you giggling and looking down to where it's pressed between the two of you.

"Are you mad at daddy too, hmm? Already two against one around here, I see. Alright then, baby gets kisses too."

“Harry will you please get up? We only have an hour to get ready and make it to the appointment. I don’t wanna be late!”

He rolls over, intending to pull you closer to him for a morning kiss, an important part of his usual routine. He frowns when he finds you’re already out of bed, digging through drawers of your dresser to find what you need to get ready for the day.

You haven’t noticed he’s awake yet so you keep encouraging him, “C’mon, made you breakfast. It’s an important day!”

“You’re not allowed to do that, y’know.”

“Do what?” You’re only half paying attention, tugging a dress over your head and scowling at your reflection in the full length mirror when it doesn’t fit over your belly. You quickly pull it back off and toss it in the pile you’ve already tried (and failed) to stretch over your growing bump.

“Daddy’s s’posed to make breakfast for mummy while she sleeps in, not the other way ‘round.”

“Well, mommy was too nervous to sleep in so she’s up getting ready, as daddy should be!” You tug one of your maternity shirts from a hanger in your closet and throw it over your head, declaring to yourself that it’ll just have to do. Thankfully it pairs well with the black leggings you’ve already struggled through pulling on. You plop on the edge of the bed, a deep sigh falling from your lips as you look around at the mess you’ve made of your shared bedroom.

“Mummy needs to relax. She looks beautiful in whatever she wears, no matter what day it is.” He rubs a hand along your back, up to soothe over the pinch between your shoulder blades.

“Nothing fits anymore, swear this belly gets bigger by the day. If I find out today you put a set of twins in me, Styles, you are gonna be in so much trouble.”

He throws his head back, a deep rumbling laugh erupting from his chest, “Aww c’mon, lovie. Twins would be so fun! Think we’d get lucky and have one of each? A boy and a girl?” He kisses your shoulder.

He’s pulling you in to rest against his chest now, the fabric of his well worn t-shirt cool and soft on your cheek. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, pressing a kiss firmly to the top of your head.

“Just lay with me a minute, hmm? Did you get any sleep last night? Felt you tossing and turning for half of it.”

“Maybe a couple of hours. I was too nervous.”

“You should’ve woken me. Hate the idea of you being awake and nervous alone, honey.” One hand trails up to cup your chin, a thumb smoothing over the tension set in your jaw.

“I honestly don’t know how you got any sleep. I wasn’t alone though, I think I kept the baby up half the night too.” You shift to face him, resting your chin on his chest, seeking the comfort of his face, “Are you okay? You’re not nervous at all?”

“M’fine. What’s to be nervous about? We get to see our baby today, find out what it is. I couldn’t be happier about that.” He brushes a strand of hair softly away from your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“Maybe it’s more excitement than nerves. I just felt..restless. Maybe it’s silly, but I just wanted to look nice today too and none of my good clothes fit me anymore.”

“You’ve always been beautiful to me, baby. But now? I’ve never seen anyone look as gorgeous as you look now. S’important to me that you know and believe that as much as I do. I’ll remind you everyday if y’need me to.”

“You really mean that, Harry?”

“‘Course I do. I know this has been new and scary for both of us, and I’m so proud of you. You’ve fallen into this with such ease and grace, already started gettin’ our home ready for our little one. I can’t wait to see you with them when they’re born.”

“You’re gonna be the most amazing dad. Teaching our child kindness and love, reminding them it’s okay to be whatever they choose to be. It’s important to me that you know how much I adore you and seeing you become the dad you were meant to be? It’s gonna be incredible. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

“Me either. Think I’d be miserable if it were anyone else.”

“Nah you’d get used to them eventually. Especially if they were having your baby.”

He laughs again, pulling you closer to smush his lips against your temple.

“Alright, up we get,” He scoots away to push himself up and off the bed, offering you his hands to help pull yourself up, “Let’s go see if our little bub got blessed with your nose or cursed with mine.”

You’re over the moon every time you see Harry’s beaming smile when he passes the black and white sonogram photo now proudly displayed on the refrigerator; your son’s nose a perfect mixture of yours and Harry’s.

#dadathon #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #my writing #dad!harry

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a-froger-epic · 3 years

Text

The Queen fandom, Freddie Mercury and Characterisation

Or: Why are those anons like this? Why are those writers like this? Why don't we understand each other?

In this essay, I will-

No, I’m serious, I will. And this is an essay. It’s roughly 2500 words.

The friction, concerns and hurt in fandom around Freddie’s characterisation - most recently centred around a fic the author tagged as ‘Bisexual Freddie Mercury’, stating in the notes that they have chosen to write Freddie as bisexual - have given me a lot to think about. And if you have been asking yourself the questions above, this here might be of interest to you.

First off, why do I feel like I need to talk about this?

The answer is not: Because I’m so very influential in fandom.

I think my influence in this fandom has been vastly overstated by some people. If I were so influential, everybody would rush to read anything I rec or write. And trust me, they really don’t. My relevance is confined to a very specific part of the fandom. That part is made up of: Freddie fans, Froger shippers, some Roger fans, a handful of writers who like to support each other and like each other’s work, and people who are really into research.

There are many parts of fandom where my opinions are entirely irrelevant. Looking at the big picture, by which I mean only the Queen RPF fandom, I simply am not that important. Looking at the even bigger picture: the Queen fandom as a whole, the majority of which doesn't read or care about RPF - I am literally nobody.

Furthermore, everything I will be talking about here is in relation to the RPF-centred part of Queen fandom.

So why this public essay?

Because I have been deeply involved for two years in a divide of opinions concerning how Freddie ought to be written and how people think of RPF. I think this is in large part because I - like several other authors currently writing for the fandom - absolutely love research. It's my idea or fun. I love to dig into these real people’s lives. Not everybody does that and not everybody is comfortable with that. It’s a personal choice depending on people's levels of comfort surrounding RPF. But this does put me firmly in the camp of Freddie fans who like to explore who this man really was, and track down every last fact about him.

Freddie Mercury vs. Fictional Freddie

I’ll admit that I am one of those people who have the urge to speak up when they see somebody claim that Freddie was bisexual, and sometimes I will say: “Well, actually, we do know that he didn’t see himself that way, because…” For me, these have often been positive exchanges.

I think there is overwhelming evidence that Freddie Mercury identified as gay from his split with Mary to the end of his life (wonderfully curated here by RushingHeadlong). In the niche of fandom I have frequented over the last two years, as far as Freddie the real man is concerned, I have barely ever seen anybody argue with this.

But fanfiction and talking about real Freddie are not one the same thing, and they shouldn't be, and as far as I am concerned they don't have to be. Some writers like to put every last fact and detail they can find into their fic, in an attempt to approach a characterisation that feels authentic to them (and perhaps others), and other writers are simply content to draw inspiration from the real people, writing versions vaguely based on them.

But writing historically and factually accurate RPF is more respectful.

Is it? I've thought about this for a long time, and I really can't agree that it is. This, to me, seems to presume that we know what kind of fiction these real people would prefer to have been written about them. That, in itself, is impossible to know.

However, if I imagine Freddie reading RPF about himself, I think that he might laugh himself silly at an AU with a character merely inspired by him and may be really quite disturbed by a gritty, realistic take full of intimate details of and speculations about his life and psyche. Such as I also tend to write, just by the by, so this is definitely not a criticism of anybody. Freddie is dead. Of all the people to whom the way he is written in fiction matters, Freddie himself is not one. There is no way to know what Freddie would or wouldn't have wanted, in this regard, and so it isn't relevant.

Personally, I can't get behind the idea that speculating and creatively exploring very intimate details of Freddie's life, things he never even spoke of to anybody, is in any way more respectful than writing versions of him which take a lot of creative liberties. As I've said so many times before, I think either all of RPF is disrespectful or none of it is.

So who cares about Freddie characterisation in fiction anyway?

Clearly, a lot of people do. Freddie Mercury was an incredibly inspiring figure and continues to be that to a multitude of very different people for different reasons. There are older fans who have maybe faced the same kind of discrimination because of their sexuality, who saw Freddie's life and persona distorted and attacked by other fans and the media for decades, who have a lot of hurt and resentment connected to such things as calling Freddie bisexual - because this has been used (and in the wider fandom still is used) to discredit his relationship with Jim, to argue that Mary was the love of his life and none of his same sex relationships mattered, to paint a picture where "the gay lifestyle" was the death of him. And that is homophobic. That is not right. I completely understand that upset.

But.

These are not the only people who care about Freddie and for whom Freddie is a source of inspiration and comfort. What about people who simply connect to his struggles with his sexuality from a different angle? What about, for example, somebody who identifies with the Freddie who seemed to be reluctant to label himself, because that, to them, implies a freedom and sexual fluidity that helps them cope with how they see their own sexuality? Is it relevant why Freddie was cagey about labelling himself? Does it matter that it likely had a lot to do with discrimination? Are his reasons important? To some degree, yes. But are other queer people not allowed to see that which helps them in him? Are they not allowed to take empowerment and inspiration from this? Can you imagine Freddie himself ever resenting somebody who, for whatever reason, admired him and whose life he made that little bit brighter through his mere existence, however they interpreted it? I honestly can't say that I can imagine Freddie himself objecting to that.

This is the thing about fame. Anyone who is famous creates a public persona, and this persona belongs to the fans. By choosing that path, this person gives a lot of themselves to their fans. To interpret, to draw inspiration from, to love the way it makes sense to the individual. Please remember, at this point, that we are talking about how people engage with Freddie as a fictional character creatively. This is not about anybody trying to lay down the law regarding who Freddie really was, unequivocally. This is all about writers using his inspiring persona and the imprint he left on this world to explore themes that resonate with them.

This is what we as writers do. We write about things which resonate with us and often touch us deeply.

But don't they care about the real Freddie?

Yes, actually, I would argue that a lot of people care about "the real Freddie". It seems to me that depicting Freddie as gay or with a strong preference for men is what the vast majority of the RPF-centered fandom on AO3 already does. You will find very, very few stories where Freddie is depicted having a good time with women sexually or romantically. That he was mostly all about men is already the majority opinion in this part of fandom.

But another question is, who was the real Freddie? If the last two years in fandom have taught me anything, it is that even things which seem like fact to one person can seem like speculation to another. I have personally had so many discussions with so many people on different sides of the debate about the exact circumstances of Freddie's life and his inner world, that I must say I don't think there is such a thing as one accurate, "real" portrayal of Freddie. Even those of us who are heavily invested in research sometimes disagree quite significantly about the interpretations of sources. So that narrows "You don't care about the real Freddie" down to "You don't care about Freddie because you don't interpret everything we know about his life the exact same way I do". Sure, by that definition, very few people care about Freddie the same way you do.

The bottom line is, there are so many writers and fans who love him, people who are obsessed with him, people who care about him deeply. They might care about who they believe he really was or who he chose to present himself as to the world, the way he wanted to be seen. But ultimately, in my personal opinion, if somebody is inspired to write Freddie as a fictional character they feel that Freddie means a lot to them. And it is hurtful to accuse them of not caring.

But what some people write hurts/triggers me.

Yes, that can happen. Because the nature of AO3 is that everything is permitted. Personally, I am very much in agreement with that. You will also find me in the camp of people who are against any sort of censorship on AO3, no matter how much some of the content goes against my own morals or how distasteful I find it. Some people disagree with that, which is fine. We must agree to disagree then. Here, I would like to quote QuirkySubject from the post she made regarding this whole situation because I cannot put it better myself: “The principle that all fic is valid (even RPF fic that subverts the lived experience of the person the fic is based on) is like the foundation of [AO3]. The suggestion that certain kinds of characterisations aren't allowed will provoke a knee-jerk reaction by many writers.”

No matter how much you may disagree with a story's plot or characterisation, it is allowed on AO3. "But wait," you might say, "the issue is not with it being on the site but with people like yourself - who should care about "the real Freddie" - supporting it."

This is some of what I have taken away from the upset I have seen. And it’s worth deconstructing.

I've already addressed "the real Freddie". Moving on to...

The author is dead.

This is something others might very well disagree on as well, but to me the story itself matters far more than authorial intent. And what may be one thing according to the author’s personal definition, may be another thing to the reader. Let’s use an example. This is an ask I received yesterday:

This author thinks they were writing Freddie as bisexual. However, going by the plot of their story, I would actually say that it is largely very similar to how I see the progression of Freddie’s young adulthood. To me, personally, Freddie would still be gay throughout the story because he arrives - eventually - at the conclusion that he is. The author and I disagree on terminology only. And I think simply disagreements about terminology, given that some terms are so loaded with history in Freddie’s case, trips a lot of people up.

It seems to me that many people still equate bisexuality with a 50/50 attraction to men and women, when in actual fact many - if not most - bi/pan people would say that it is nowhere near that distribution. Some people are of the opinion that anybody who experiences some attraction to the opposite sex, even if they have a strong same-sex preference, could be technically considered bisexual. (However, sexuality isn’t objective, it’s subjective. At least when it comes to real people. What about fictionalised real people? We will get to that.)

Let's briefly return to real Freddie.

What I'm seeing is that there are several ways of thinking here, with regard to his sexuality.

1. Freddie was gay because that seems to be (from everything we know) the conclusion he arrived at and the way he saw himself, once he had stopped dating women. Therefor, he was always gay, it just took him a while to come to terms with it.

2. Freddie can be referred to as bisexual during the time when he was with women because at that time, he may very well have thought of himself thusly - whether that was wishful thinking and he was aware of it or whether he really thought he might be bisexual is not something we can say definitively. He came out as gay to two friends in 1974 on separate occassions, and he talked to his girlfriends about being bisexual. (Personally, I think here it is interesting to look at who exactly he was saying what to, but let's put my own interpretations aside.)

3. Freddie can be seen as bisexual/pansexual because his life indicates that he was able to be in relationships with both men and women and because there is nothing to disprove he didn't experience any attraction to the women he was with. Had he lived in a different time, he may have defined himself differently.

Now, I'm of the first school of thought here, personally, although I understand the second and also, as a thought experiment, the third.

I think all of these approaches have validity, although the historical context of Freddie's life should be kept in mind and is very relevant whenever we speak about the man himself.

But when we return to writing fictionalised versions of Freddie, any of these approaches should absolutely be permissible. Yes, some of them or aspects of them can cause upset to some people.

And this is why AO3 has a tagging system. This is why authors write very clearly worded author's notes. This is the respect authors extend to their readers. This, in turn, has to be respected. Everybody is ultimately responsible for their own experience on the archive.

Nobody has the right to dictate what is or isn't published under the Queen tag. As far as I am concerned, nobody should have that right. As far as I am concerned, everybody has a responsibility to avoid whatever may upset them. I understand where the upset comes from. I also maintain it is every writer's right to engage with Freddie's character creatively the way they choose to.

None of us can control how other people engage with Freddie or the fandom. None of us can control what other people enjoy or dislike about the fandom.

The best way to engage with the content creating part of fandom, in my opinion, has always been to create what brings you joy, to consume the content that brings you joy and to respectfully step away from everything that doesn't.

#Queen fandom #Freddie Mercury #bi Freddie

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thatpinkbetch · 4 years

Text

Bkdk Fic Rec

I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit

At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!

Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.

Fics under 1k:

Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)

Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral

Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo

sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)

Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.

It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.

I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf

Fics 1k - 10k:

Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)

Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.

Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.

First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT

Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)

Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!

Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)

Summary: Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.

Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!

I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)

Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love

The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)

Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.

“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.

“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”

Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.

“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.

Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say!

daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)

Summary: izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo

the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)

Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.

Izuku’s name.

I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!

Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)

Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT

lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)

Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.

There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.

“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”

I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me

hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)

Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.

What an asshole.

Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty

In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!

Summary: Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)

i still do - raeryn (9646 words)

Summary: He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.

So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT

One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)

Summary: They totally aren't.

Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.

It was amusing up until it became sad.

Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too

A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)

Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol

be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)

Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.

Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)

Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”

"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."

I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!

Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)

Summary: “What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)

Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)

Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”

Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”

“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”

“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”

*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.

in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)

Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.

or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.

“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!

Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)

Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!

Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)

Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.

And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.

This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.

4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (

Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)

Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)

Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.

there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)

Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.

His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.

He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.

Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!

Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)

Summary: The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.

Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!

Fics 10k - 30k:

Fishy - warschach (19417 words)

Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!

Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)

Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well

point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)

Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here

Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time

Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.

Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.

Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?

Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)

Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘

Really?’

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!

The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)

Summary: The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.

This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT

seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)

Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.

[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]

Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)

Fics 30k+

Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)

Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.

Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.

(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)

Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)

Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.

All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)

Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!

under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)

Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.

Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.

To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.

Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.

all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)

Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.

One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.

Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.

Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.

This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful.

My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)

You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)

Summary: Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.

Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;

Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)

Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.

Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.

Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).

I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.

Here, let me fix that (11247 words)

Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.

Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.

I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.

Plenty of Time (16654 words)

Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.

How fucking typical.

In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.

Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.

We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)

Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.

Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.

I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.

Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!

#bakudeku #katsudeku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha #bkdk #fics #my writing #god i really hope i didn't fuck up any of this #i spent a long time on it alksdjflaskjdflkasdjf #this is 39 fics without my own #and 44 including mine #i can tell i've forgotten some but #idk it's hard TT_TT #anyways it's 2:30am #if i go to bed at 4am one more time i'm gonna throw myself down a flight of stairs #i hope this is good enough as is!#most of this was written very late so I hope it doesn't sound...crazed

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sleepdeprivedheretic · 4 years

Text

Restrained

Notes: I have no excuse, I just want a crack fic with smut treated seriously with Tai-chan to step on me the reader while looking down cockily. Humor, angst, fluff, splashed with pining dust :’) Also, I love Linkin Park.

Setting: Reader-chan is a villain and is terrible at being one, cue ongoing physical and snark battles with Tai-chan.

Warnings: Kinky Smut (So here’s what my unacknowledged, vanilla self, has tried to write and nobody has to read it but it’s here in the story: Dirty talk, safe words, possessiveness, edging, talk about inexperience, handcuffs, breeding kink, unsafe sex, Tai’s mean and leaves the reader unattended, but he feels bad afterwards, lube, somehow there’s vanilla, and fluff) and my weak emotions for Good Boys.

……….

You didn’t exactly chose the Villain life, it basically chose you. Cue your dad’s maniacal laughter, your mother’s evil smirks and her ways of teaching you how to go for the jugular since you were five...wasn’t the most heroic childhood. You grew up distant away from others, living life learning how to avoid the law and training heavily to avoid losing a fight, your parents seemed to take that as a green-light and pushed you into the family business. Not like you could fight it, anyway. You were an outcast from day one, and had no close friends.

That being said, you didn’t really like hurting other people or doing typical villainy stuff, but you liked fighting. It gave you a feeling of pushing all of your aggression and bottled up anger onto somebody without killing them, whether it be heroes, vigilantes, or hell, other villains. It wasn’t healthy, but you had nothing else, really.

Cue in the physical form of your recent excitement, the BMI hero who resembled a matryoshka doll and was kinda cute in his big form, no lie. The two of you had met near his agency with Sakura petals floating along with the breeze, and honestly it reminded you of a shojo manga. Well, him minding his own business until he’d seen your pathetic attempts at shoplifting.

He was there for a fight, and at first you overestimated him, thinking that he would go down quickly, but you were wrong. So wrong. You weren’t the best of the villains, but you held your ground, the both of you panting and sweaty and for the first time, you liked fighting against a hero.

Of course being a self-called villain full of dirty tricks up your sleeve, you were good at vanishing, leaving him to shout curses at you, but you didn’t care. From then on out, the two of you would continue ironically meeting in places. It was either you stumbling into him walking around town, eating Takoyaki, or him catching you...not doing anything villainous because you sucked at it, but you know, it’s the thought that counts.

Then the snark happened.

“Where did you get your hero outfit? From the thrift store?” You quipped.

“As in a matter of fact, I did. Saw yer mom there buyin’ old man’s underwear, Sweetheart.”

Kami help you.

“You don’t even know my mom! But yeah, she’d probably do that.” You answered.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, she’s kind of weird.”

You weren’t on the top of the villain lists (or if you were on the list), but you were good at holding your ground, and he seemed to know of you, and thus seemed as if he was always making plans to run into you. You were no better. You had gotten into the habit of causing small trouble around his agency, and your battles were always lengthy, full of snark, and you admit you kind of liked to feel him push you against a brick building, leering down at you before the whole thing started.

Anyway, you’ve always managed to either escape or he’d just throw up his hands and turn and walk away in a frustrated huff, like that one time you fell flat on your face, accidentally dodging his spear-formed punch. It was one time, but he didn’t let you live it down, asking about your nose.

Oddly enough, the other pro-heroes, Miruko and Hawks, would just glance at you, sigh and then leave, muttering something about idiots, Eraserhead would just guide the children away from the two of you with a blank look, and Endeavor would just avoid the two of your messy fights altogether, opting that he ironically wasn’t going to deal with “an old married couple”. Whatever that meant.

It didn’t stop smaller, weaker heroes from trying, though. Trying to be hotshots and bring you in. Of course, they failed. You didn’t listen to Linkin Park while training your ass out in the cold rain just to be brought down by some punks.

Tai-chan, or what you’ve become calling him (thanks for Hawks just silently handing you a paper with his name on it, the absolute Wing-man), noticed. Although he was a hero and didn’t dissuade the young ones from chasing after villains, he did basically say that anybody around his area was his to battle. It melted your heart, a little.

It didn’t stop the two of your bantering and bickering, or sometimes he’d say something, trying to be serious but it comes out as silly, that you couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles and he’d get flustered, having a cute blush that you couldn’t help but just eat up.

It was like an odd addiction, you wanted to see more of him, even though it was through unhealthy things such as your fights, you wanted to hear more corny catchphrases, see his eye twitch of annoyance (you were a little shit), and finally, the both of you panting in defeat as he angrily munched on Takoyaki, snarling as you stole one, but let you have it, and so on.

You weren’t sure if you were becoming an unhealthy masochist, or you just really liked him. Perhaps both, because your heart would flutter every time you see him smile around his sidekicks from afar, and then clench because you were so far gone into the life of a villain, you knew that you could never have that life. Be a hero, or have him at least as a friend.

Such sad thoughts did plague you, and it must have shown through, because you would halfheartedly remark to his commentary or sometimes, you just wouldn’t show up for a day. He noticed. He was keen like that, and so to your surprise, he would take your fights more seriously, as if trying to keep you there, not letting you keep running away.

Honestly, it was a little sweet, but your poor heart was getting confused at your little game, and didn’t know how to honestly feel for him.

Of course, everything must come to an end, doesn’t it?

He was leering down at you with a cocky smirk, clothes ruined, showing off whatever he had, a boot stepping onto your chest, rain soaking through his soft hair and splattering your cheeks. An odd feeling came over you. Something you weren’t familiar with, but through your mask, you felt that it was safe to just take a mental picture and burn it forever within your brain.

The fight was different. You were sick all week with the common cold, and when you returned from your little hibernation, weird gossip and rumors were littering about near the FatGum Agency. It was either you left him because you were getting bored, or you had found another hero to play with, or you were finally caught. Whatever it was, he seemed to be excited, relieved(?), and at the same time furious to see you. He demanded where have you been, and feeling increasingly snarky and not sure what to feel with your pining dumbass heart, you retaliated that you were on a vacation from his stupidity.

Yeah, you lost.

“Finally caught ya.” His voice rasped out and hot damn did that not help with the odd searing warmth churning within your guts. The feeling of losing always frightened you, for you weren’t sure whether or not your family would actually give a damn. Yet, you felt elated and calm. It was over, he could finally call the shots, and you could just sit in a jail cell and atone for whatever petty crimes you committed.

“So you have. How’s the weather up there, you giraffe?” You couldn’t help but ask, and the boot on your chest pressed a tiny bit down in annoyance, but he made sure that you weren’t hurting.

“Just fine. I think I stepped in shit, though.”

You couldn’t help it. You began laughing, and to your astonishment, he did, too.

“I missed ya.” He admitted as the both of you calmed down. That surprised you.

“I thought you hated me?”

He gave you a look.

“You’re annoying, and persistent, but not evil. Like a flea, you keep on bouncin’ back up, and I can’t help but not dislike ya.” The words sent a warm tingling up your spine, and you found yourself smiling softly.

“I couldn’t hate you either, you know. You’re the only one,” You swallowed, and the continued as his eyes now focused onto yours. “who I can freely just be myself around with.”

“Whaddya mean?” The tone was softer, now, but ever so curious. Well, it’s a good time as any to release your tragic backstory while in the drizzling rain.

“My parents are both villains, and so I was raised as one. I could never be friends with heroes, or really anybody. I could never dream to be a hero, because of my background. It’s shady from the start, who in their right mind would pick a hero who could just end up being like their parents?”

The words tumbled out of you, feeling the metaphorical weight be lifted off from your chest, as the rain quickened it’s pace. An uncomfortable silence washed over the two of you, and already you were regretting the word vomit that had just spilled out of your mouth. You said too much, you cringed inwardly. You should have just kept your mouth shut, now he’s going to pity you-

“You know what? Fuck it.” Your eyes widened with shock and confusion as the so-called “DadGum” had just said one of the worst bad words.

“Did you just-”

“Your parents can jump into the nearest jail-cell. You,” His eyes glinted with an unknown darkness that set your insides ablaze. “have two options. Either you can platonically become a hero-in-training and live with me, or you can be mine. My hero-in-training, my roommate, my lover, just, mine.” He put an emphasize on the word, and your face flushed despite the chilly autumn rain.

You would be surprised, but you oddly weren’t. Endeavor was right, the two of you were basically an old married couple, bickering and bantering, always staring at each other when one was sure the other wasn’t looking.

“Alright. I’d like us to try...um...being more than...rivals?” You stammered. He cocked an eyebrow.

“I didn’ just pour my heart out for ya so ya can deliver that. Try a lil’ harder.” He scoffed.

“Fine, fine! I..I like you too-”

“Love.”

“Love, you too! I just...I dunno, always wanted to find an excuse to just be around you.”

“That’s sweet, an’ I love ya too, Sugarplum, but ya weren’t here for a whole week-

“I was sick with the common cold!”

“N’ then these shitty rumors started-

“Don’t act as if that’s my fault!”

“So I’m feelin’ a lil’ snappy an’ hungry today, but not for food.” He humored you.

“What does that mean?” You tested the waters, knowing the truth, already. He took his boot off of you, crouching down to give you a predatory smile.

“I won’ touch ya unless ya beg me, but our lil’ cat’n’mouse games have had me riled up, for a very, very long time.” He leaned in and whispered in your ear, and you couldn’t help but swallow thickly with want as he continued.

“N’ now we’ve discussed our feelin’s, I’m all just wantin’ to tie you to my bed.” He finished as he continued leering at you as if you were the sheep, and him the wolf. You didn’t blame him, you’ve been wanting this, too. It was a little fast paced, but several months of mutual pining would probably do that to you.

“I mean, at least take me out to dinner, first.” You tried to joke. He just shrugged.

“Done.”

“What? I’m a villain! My family are villains!” You tried to argue. He gave a smile mixed in with a humorous look.

“Villain? Last time I checked, starin’ at candy from the hand of a baby, isn’t puttin’ ya on any wanted list. You’re mine, now. Doesn’t matter what yer shitty family thinks. I’ll fight’em, too.” The sentence made your heart swell, feelings of joy and acceptance fluttered within your for the first time in a long time, and you let yourself give a warm smile. His eyes softened, as he helped pull you up to your feet, letting you lean against him as you maintained your balance.

“Alright. We...we can just be a normal couple? How does this even work?” You tried out. He glanced at you.

“Yeah, we’re goin’ to jus’ be a normal couple. Well, you’re gonna train with me, so that we can eventually get ya a license. N’ you’re gonna kick your parent’s asses, not as a villain or a civilian, but as a hero.” He started off softly, but then a more rambunctious grin took over his face at the prospect, and to be honest, you felt like that was a good idea, spitting everything that they’ve taught you, back in their faces as you live life the way you want it, with your partner, of course.

Speaking of which.

“So...we’re just going to continue getting soaked?” You asked, trying to keep yourself from shuddering.

“Yeah, but not in the rain. C’mon, my place.” He gruffed, and you found yourself eagerly nodding.

You weren’t sure how this happened so fast. First you entered his apartment, shivering, then he said that your clothes needed to be washed, aaaaand you were here, on his bed, naked, chilled, and your hands completely cuffed to the post as he was staring at you with such a dirty, hungry look, you felt thrilled by it.

“You want this? Say no an’ we’ll stop.” He offered one last time.

“I want this.” You admitted, and he gave off an almost predatory grin as you watched in amazement of him shucking off his clothes at the pace of the speed of light. Hot damn, he was huge, and beautiful. He grinned at your unabashed stare, crawling towards you on the king-sized bed, opening your legs as he slotted himself between them.

“So pretty, and wet.” He chuckled, giving you little time to think as his thumb swiped at your leaking opening, causing you to gasp.

“I think that I’m gonna eat you out.” Was the only warning you were given as your legs were pulled further apart, and the next thing you knew, he was on you. Your hands jerked against the fuzzy handcuffs as you felt him licking long, hot, and wet stripes from your opening, to your clit. You couldn’t help but mewl as you subconsciously fought against your restraints, thighs trying to clench around him as he gripped them, keeping them apart as he suckled at your clit.

You felt helpless as he was giving you such an intense and dark stare while he was driving you to the edge, gauging your teary-eyed reaction while you bit your lips, hands squeezing onto thin air as you felt yourself getting closer and closer, hips bucking wildly.

Then, he stopped, and you growled into a pitiful whine, causing him to laugh.

“How does it feel, causin’ others to wait?”

You huffed. He seriously couldn’t be that petty!

“Common. Cold.” You let out a hiss, and he gave you an unimpressed stare.

“Are ya givin’ me an attitude?” Was a warning.

“Yeah, I am!” Like a bull, you ran right into that red flag. He grinned, a little darkly. It honestly would’ve scared you a little, if you weren’t so turned on.

“Yer still a lil’ too feisty. As much as I love it, I ‘ave other plans in mind.” He gave a false pout, and your stomach churned with awaited excitement in what he was going to do, next.

“I’ll be back. I’m going to the store. Be good, okay?” He gave your surprised look a dark smirk, and you couldn’t help but growl. The audacity! You loved him, but the audacity! You couldn’t help but look on with bewilderment as he gotten dressed, opening and closing the bedroom door shut as he left you all alone and tied up.

You waited for what seemed forever, pissed off and bored out of your mind as you felt increasingly cold and still wet. You refused to cry. He said he’d be back, didn’t he? Then why do you feel so helpless and lonesome. You felt tears shed with relief and frustration as he finally opened the door to the bedroom, black bag in hand.

“Bastard!” You hissed, and he eyed you with a sympathetic expression mixed in with a little guilt. He got undressed and set the bag next to the two of you, crawling towards you and wiped away the wetness on your cheeks, kissing them and your mouth as he held a gentler expression. He held your chilled frame against his too warm one, nuzzling you as he soothed your ruffled feathers.

“I know, Darlin’. I’ll make it all better for you, I promise.” He kissed your nose as he gathered the blankets to surround your skin, still letting you be exposed, but at least you’ll be a little warmer.

“Do you wanna continue?”

“Yes.” You said without hesitation, feeling relieved after seeing his softer side, and still wanting release, and received a wet, dirty kiss. You moaned into it, feeling his hands rub your breasts, squeezing them rather roughly as he toyed with the nubs with his roughed up hands. He broke away too soon, leaving the two of you panting as his dark, feral look returned as he eyed you.

“Bought you a lil’ somethin’.” He turned away, rummaging through the bag. You eyed it wearily, hoping that he didn’t go too crazy. He pulled out a bottle of strawberry lube, that was good, and...your face flushed.

“Ever used these, before?” He held out the little vibrating bullets for you to see. You shook your head, and he chuckled.

“You’re very vanilla, ain’t you?”

“I-I…�� You stuttered, but he kissed your forehead.

“What’s yer safe word?” He asked. Safe word? Why couldn’t the two of you have a normal first time, together? You thought about it.

“Grapes.”

“Why that word?”

“I hate them.” You shrugged.

“Fair enough. Alright, let’s get started.” He said lowly, opening the lube and bullets. He added some of the lube onto the bullets, attaching one bullet to your clit, and the other to your nipple with little pieces of tape. Yeah, you were confused, too, but he didn’t pay you any mind as he set the controller to both bullets to the side, flipping the switch to a low setting.

You let out a choked whimper as your clit was being stimulated, him leaning forward and enjoying the view of your wetness drenching the sheets.

“Such an eager slut.” He bit out almost darkly as his fingers spread open your labia.

“’M notta slut!” You protested, but it was on deaf ears as he had something else in mind. He generously poured a dime amount of lube onto his fingers, grinning down at you as the strawberry scent floated nicely in the room, mixing in with your own scent of arousal. You almost jolted as his lubed up fingers prodded the tight muscle to your vaginal entrance.

“Damn, relax, you’re so fuckin’ tight.” He murmured, and through your lust-fogged brain, you wondered if anybody else knew about this side of “Dad-gum”. Although having a rough demeanor, he was gently opening you up, and you felt warmth blossom in your chest at the extra attention that he was giving you, glancing at you from time to time to see if you were alright.

You were more than fine. Five fingers deep, and a higher setting to the mini bullets, you were very close to coming. You rocked your hips in a desperate fashion, hands clenched tightly as the fuzz to the handcuffs prevented you from hurting yourself.

“You gonna cum?” He leered.

“Yes!” You bit out, and your stomach fluttered with excitement mixed with dread at that dark chuckle.

“Not yet.” He switched the vibrator off, and you swore you could hear yourself huff into an annoyed growl. Tears of frustration threatened to spill, and he gave another sympathetic look. You swore that he was mocking you.

“It’s okay, alright? I’ll give you what ya want.” He kissed your eyes, holding your frame close to him as he then rubbed his cheek against yours.

“Patience, Baby. I’m hurtin’ too. Right now, let’s let ya cool down while I mark up this pretty skin of yours, alright?” He kissed you gently, and you were now aware of his own need. It was swollen and looked angry as precum was headily dripping onto the sheets. It twitched as you realized that he knew that you were staring. You licked your lips and he groaned with want.

“See? Hurtin.”. He then continued to do as he promised, kissing you slowly as his hands rubbed against your skin, squeezing here and there as your hands itched to touch him. He paid your whining no heed as he licked at the juncture at your neck, biting it harshly, suckling at the blossoming bruise as his dick twitched at your wanton whine and buck of hips. He kissed the spot gingerly, eyeing your debauched frame with greed as he lowered his mouth to another spot.

“Damned young punks, trying to bring you in. They should know better. You’re in my territory.” Bite. You winced, but keened with need as he lathered the blossoming bruises with gentle kisses.

“Every inch of you is mine.” His eyes glittered almost darkly as he tore away from his work. Oh yes, you were looking nice. He didn’t do too much, but the love bites he imprinted onto your neck and clavicle helped soothe the possessive ache that he had. He knew that you wanted to touch him, too, and was thrilled at the aspect.

“You wanna touch?” He prodded. You keened into a hurried nod, not caring about your pride.

“Please.” What a cute sound, how could he refuse? He relented, and you were on him. It felt as if he was guiding you, letting your hands roam, doing your own squeezing at his stomach, biceps, and pecs while you kissed him feverishly. He basked in your attention, letting you claim your prize for being such a wonderful and patient Sweetheart. Of course he kept you from touching his dick, promising that another time, definitely, so you relented in favoring of returning his little marking game.

He swore he could come untouched by your less rough touch, eyeing him to see if he acknowledged that you were doing a good job, to which he couldn’t help but find that adorable, as well.

“You’re so good for me. So patient and sweet. I’m going to breed you, now. Would you like that?” He hummed, and you swore that your brain stopped and your core clenched with need. One sentence should not sound that hot, but it did.

“Yes. I would like that.” You answered a little too gently, and he hummed with approval, kissing you.

“If you don’t, remember that we don’t hafta do anything that you don’t wanna do. Remember your safe word?” He inquired, you nodded and told him.

“Good. You wanna be bred n’ dirty-talked? I gotcha some Plan B at the store, didn’t really think about condoms. Is that fine?”

You nodded, telling him that you liked both ideas. To be honest, you didn’t mind being marked up in such a way. Not with your pent up lust and feelings of love towards this sadistic Himbo of a man.

“Lie on yer back. I wanna see ya.” He growled out, and you hastily complied.

“Now, tell me, how experienced are ya, really? Not hard to notice that you seem to be learnin’ a few things.” He gave you look in which you couldn’t decipher.

“It’s dumb.”

“No it ain’t. Doesn’t matter to me if ya have history.” He kissed your knee softly as his expression gentled, and you felt yourself relax.

“Your possessiveness says otherwise.” You tried.

“’Cause they’ve been houndin’ around what’s been mine in my territory. Your earlier experiences don’t count. You’re mine, now, and I’m planning on keepin’ it that way.” He smoothed your leg gently despite the dark edge in his tone of words. Really, you feel elated.

“So no judgment?” You inquired.

“None.” He promised. You believed him. Feeling a bit more braver and relaxed, you could trust him with your secrets. You didn’t know a way how to make it less cringe-worthy to admit, but you wanted to tell him, anyway.

“I never really had to time or opportunity.” You found yourself saying, and that’s all he needed to hear.

His eyes flashed into something that you couldn’t decipher, but it didn’t matter. He wan onto you, kissing you slowly yet frequently, retouching every place where he could reach with a more gentle approach.

“Don’t make a kink out of it.” You groaned. He chuckled lowly.

“Why not? Ya get to do this, once.”

“It’s a social construct, and dumb. It’s not like my personality is magically going to change after having something within me.”

“I agree completely, Dearest, but I find it endearin’ and sweet that you’re willing to share this with me.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” You huffed out softly.

“Might be, but my dick’s trying to convince itself to do the thinkin’.”

“Maybe you should let it, then.” You prodded, and he then gave you a dark grin.

“As ya wish. Don’t forget yer safe word.” Was the only warning you had.

You were already loosened and wet, and although his actions resembled of that like an animal as he kissed you with fervor and biting some new areas, he was gentle when he decided that it was time for the main course. Coating himself with a generous amount of cold lube, he hissed as he turned on the bullet vibrators, letting you get stimulated as he breached your vaginal opening, teasing and prodding the muscle as it opened up for him.

You felt the hot, thick head of his dick slip inside with little to no restraint, surprising you as your legs widened further, allowing him to sink in further. He was big, and your walls had to stretch to accommodate him, but you wanted it so damned badly. It hurt so good, you thought. There was a little pain, but the delicious stretch heavily outweighed it, and it reached places that you didn’t know that just needed to be itched.

Hot damn, did you feel stuffed.

“How are ya?” He then asked, and then you realized that he was fully seated inside, and you could tell that he was desperate and hot as you were.

“If you stop this time, I might actually kill you.” Your threat was light, but he swallowed thickly at the intensity of your stare and heated gaze of want.

“Good?”

“Wonderful. Move.” You all but demanded, but he eagerly complied, letting your too-tight walls massage him.

“Fuck! So tight. Might keep ya like this, re-tie ya to my bed. Fuck ya full n’ heavy.” He couldn’t help but growl out the words, being rewarded with the tightened clench of your walls.

“Ya like that? Bein’ my personal cocksleeve? Belly round n’ breasts heavy with milk?” His movements jerked faster as he squeezed your breast that didn’t have the bullet pleasantly buzzing against it. You couldn’t help but nod, arousal dripping onto the sheets as the bullet roughly buzzed against your clit, the both of you feeling the painful aching need for release. His hips were all but snapping to meet your thrusts, balls slapping against your ass, as he engaged you into a filthy kiss as the lewd sounds and scents echoed and filtered within the walls.

Your head felt light and the both of you were covered in a sheen of sweat, he opted to weave his hand into yours, holding it rather almost gently as he moved as if a man possessed. Yours hit first, gripping you and clenching you out of nowhere as you let out his name in a frantic shout, clutching onto him ever so tightly as your head fogged into a sharp relief that left you into tears from finally able to cum. He was no better, hips faltering as he felt you embrace your own orgasm, causing his mind to almost go blank as the movement of his hips bucked into a frantic state. He huffed out, calling out to you as he held onto you tightly, anchoring the both of you into a freight train of orgasmic bliss.

You whimpered out your oversensitive clit and breast, hitting the damned power button to those little bullets as you came down from your high. Taishiro collapsed next to you as the both of you were panting, trying to catch your breaths. You were so drowsy, but you really didn’t want to sleep in your own spunk and messes.

“Dirty.” You whined, and he laughed, kissing you.

“Let’s get cleaned up, then. Know ya don’t wanna, but you could seriously get an UTI if ya don’t use the bathroom.” You agreed, tearing off the bullets, and pulling your weakened state up to use the bathroom as he decided to lazily change the sheets, throwing the used sheets, toys, and the black bag in the corner, somewhere. He would deal with that, later.

He caught you as you stumbled into him from coming out of the bathroom. Gently, he maneuvered you to where you were snuggled up against him, a heavy blanket re-warming up your cooling skin as he hummed, gently playing with your hair as he kissed you softly.

“Ya good?”

“Tired n’ fine.” You mumbled, peeking up to look at him. He smiled gently.

“I looooove you.” He singsonged, earning him your own gentle smile and a soft kiss.

“I love you, too. Go to sleep.” You playfully griped at the last part, and he chuckled in compliance.

…………..

Bonus: Yeah your parents were pissed, but you were a hero, and their opinions didn’t really count, anymore. They knew your potential, so they cleared away from you as you and your fiance moved into a safer city. End.

……….

Here’s my poor attempt at being more versatile in writing kinky smut. Hope it’s not too much cringe, I’m usually too vanilla :’)

#Taishiro Toyomitsu x reader #Taishiro Toyomitsu #Fatgum #Fatgum x reader #I mean #I tried #It's fun kinky adult times at the end #Don't @ me #Heed the warning sigils that I've placed #trash but my trash that you're welcomed to #Welcome to my hut

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned.

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why.

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases.

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one.

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time.

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly.

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #can you feel me going through 800 different emotions in the course of writing this #fucking hell #he absolutely kills me i love him so much #would do ANYTHING for him #if you listen v closely you can hear the soft sound of me grabbing tissues #god i was just rewatching some of his events and i just #THE SHEER WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE HOW IT WASHES OVER YOU WHILE READING #IM SHAKING AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like leo is just one of those routes where its like 'my life was before and after this moment'#otome is honestly destroying my standards OTL #he just makes me feel So Much my coherence disappears #brain cells???? don't know her only Leo tiddy #in conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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mybunnyparadenme · 3 years

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So I wrote this a while ago and only my friend Ashleigh’s read it so I figured I might as well let the rest of tumblr see it lol It’s something silly I wrote between chapters of a bigger project that WILL see the light of day soon I swear to godddd...

Anyway, a brief summary! Mantequilla/El Pollo Loco angst, kind of an AU to the movie, but mostly just indulgent drama :3c If anybody wants the lore behind this ficlet let me know! Also I used google translate for the spanish bits because even though I’m literally mexican and speak it every day I’m just. Awful at it XD

The sun was setting over the horizon, taking the heat of the day with it, but still Mantequilla felt a line of sweat trickling down the side of his face. He was going to be late to the meeting, all because he had stayed with David and his family for longer than he should have... But it had been so nice to share a moment of peace with his friend, so he'd let himself get distracted by little Juanita and her dreamy stories of becoming a famous dancer when she was older and the war was over.

He and David had smiled and nodded along to the little girl's words and performances, but when their eyes met across the table, the look they shared was one of grim reality. The war had been raging since they were children, and showed no signs of stopping in the near future. Most days, Mantequilla didn't think there would ever be an end to it, the violence and the tyranny that came from up north. The States were hellbent on getting through their borders, and it was only through the endless efforts from resistance leaders like them that kept the worst of the fighting at bay.

Mantequilla sighed and let himself rest against the wall of a nearby bodega. He'd be busy organizing his people for the next few days, today's dinner his last reprieve for the forseeable future. It was hard, the long days and sleepless nights, sometimes so much that he questioned whether or not it was even worth all the work. But then he thought about David's daughter with all her optimistic hopes and dreams... things that depended on him and his resistance network to keep going. A brighter future for her and kids like her had to be worth it, right?

"It's rare not to see you running, conejito." A deep voice whispered in his ear.

Mantequilla nearly leapt out of his skin as he whirled around, his hand going into his pocket to pull out his trusty knife. HIs grip relaxed when his eyes landed on the face the voice belonged to, his relief too big to keep from flooding his tone, "D-Diosito Loco, I nearly killed you!"

"You didn't even come close, Mantequilla." El Pollo Loco said, reaching up to run his thumb over the flat part of the blade. "Don't tell me you're getting soft on me?"

"There's no room for softness in our line of work." Mantequilla murmured, his fingers itching to reach out and touch Loco's face. He was unmasked at the moment, a rare treat that he didn't get to see often. His golden hair stood out like a sore thumb, same as his, but Loco held himself so casually that no one would think to look twice at him. Mantequilla dropped his gaze for a moment, pushing down the fluttery feeling underneath his ribs. Loco was her on business. "H-Have you gotten the information I asked you for?"

"Yeah, I did." Loco glanced around the area with keen eyes, looking for spies listening in on their conversations as always. In their line of work you could never be too sure of who to trust. "I'll send the official transcripts to General Desorden, but the long and short of it is that they're planning on sending in more soldiers, but not like the ones we've been fighting lately. These are bad people, Mantequilla."

"We'll be ready for them." Mantequilla said, a familiar buzz of anxiety spasming through his hands. He pressed his knuckles together and rubbed them against each other, the friction keeping him grounded. "I won't have any more of my people taken from us."

"There's always casualties in war." Loco said, a sad look entering his eyes. No doubt he was thinking of his brother, fighting over on the State's side. Patriotism was a hell of a drug, one that Mantequilla was well aware went both ways. How many attempts had been made on his life by people who called him 'el gringo sin lealtad,' despite the fact that he'd chosen Mexico years ago? He'd been loyal to it's people, his people, and yet because he'd been born on the other side of the border, his loyalty would always be cast in doubt.

He would still fight for those people though. Because they deserved to see peace too.

"Some day it'll be over." Mantequilla said, dropping his gaze to the ground as he said it. He really wanted to believe it. He wanted Loco to be able to see his brother without fear that he'd end up with a bullet to the head for treason. He wanted to see Juanita dance on a stage in a country that wasn't ravaged by war. He wanted... The last rays of sunlight reflected off a window and illuminated Loco's hair, and Mantequilla felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted a future where he could casually run his fingers through that hair and be free to express his feelings instead of dismissing them as a terrible distraction.

"Tienes demasiada esperanza, conejito." You have too much hope. Loco reached out to touch his cheek, a soft brush of his knuckles that only lasted a moment. The only sign that he had the same feelings and fears that Mantequilla had.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and gave him a wistful smile. "Es todo lo que tenemos, mi pollito loco." It's all we have.

They didn't say anything else, and after a moment Loco walked away without looking back. His job was done now, and he'd only come back when Mantequilla needed his skills again. It was the only way to keep the feelings at bay, the distance both a blessing and a curse. The longing never left, aching just underneath Mantequilla's skin, but he knew how to practice out of sight, out of mind better than most people. He repeated it over and over like a mantra as he walked away from the bodega.

With Loco gone, he could focus on the path ahead. He had a meeting to get to, and a war to win.

#south park #south park fic #sp bunny #bunny sp #butters stotch #kenny mccormick #my fics #mantequiloco #i guess??#it's after midnight lmao I've got no shame anymore #might post on snapshots idk...

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revengerevisited · 3 years

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i found this vanqua fic the other day, it’s only a couple chapters but i like it so far. :3 it does have a ‘creator chose not to add warnings’ label though, so please be cautious. also baby-xemnas aka kotbysleep (nsfw) aka nekokat42 (also nsfw) is a much better vanqua artist than me so please check him out. X’D (heads-up those twitter threads are way longer than you think so make sure you see eeeverything~).

anyway, more wip art below the cut, plus my endless rambling (i talk about 18+ topics, just a warning)—

i’m still working on venqua week and i’ve got 2 more prompts to go, one i haven’t started yet and one i’m halfway done with—

~aaand yeah i’m re-using it for a vanqua pic too... X’D am i lazy, or just resourceful? you decide. ;P

but yeah, both of these pics will have an 18+ version as well. i admit i’m super anxious about posting it next week, as i’ve seen just how absolutely toxic fandom is on twitter. like, you thought tumblr was bad? i’ve spent the last few days preemptively blocking literally hundreds if not thousands of antis just so i can feel a little safer posting my content without some asshat calling me a pedo or telling me to kill myself over cartoons. XU i somewhat worry that i’ve accidentally blocked some people who were just joking around and weren’t actually harassing anyone, but it’s just so hard to tell sometimes. if i’ve accidentally blocked anybody here, just let me know so i can unblock you. :3 (idk why that sentence came out so sinister sounding but i’m legit being sincere X’D).

but seriously, idk when fandom suddenly got such a stick up its ass (around 2016-17 from my guesstimate) and decided aging-up a fictional character by a year or two is such a crime, but i guess that’s just the state of things. :T i could draw vanitas as a centaur or make him blond or whatever and no one cares, but aging him by one year? suddenly big problem! yeah, right. XP like, i know i said every character in kh is 17+ as of khmom (ignoring any weird timeline retcons of course), but heck i could make an honest case for the wayfinder family all being adults. hear me out—

it’s been 13 years since bbs, right? and for 12 of those years, aqua was in the realm of darkness, terra had some awareness while being possessed by xehanort, ven experienced some of sora’s life when he was in a coma, and vanitas was almost certainly in ven/sora’s heart as well, so all four of them could be said to be 31, 33, and 29 respectively. it’s not like their character models were any different when they were young teens as opposed to older teens, so can we really be sure they’re not all 30~ by now? heck, since ven is from the age of fairytales i could say he’s 1000 years old if i wanted too! (psst, it’s almost as if these are all fictional characters living in a fantasy world with time travel and whatnot and their ages are completely arbitrary numbers nomura made up on the spot, numbers which he has retconned before! :P).

now i don’t actually think they’re that old, but if people are gonna hassle me over a goddamn 2-year age difference, i might as well say fuck it and have fun with it, right? ;P it’s not like antis even know what the canon character ages even actually are, like when they try to say that skuld is underage when (assuming she’s subject x) she’d be around 28~ by now, or axel and saïx’s age. (maybe i’ll draw some saïx x skuld art and watch the antis lose their minds. ;P it wouldn’t even have to be nsfw to rile them up).

anyway, i do admit i’m feeling a little burned out on art recently. XP i’ve been trying to get one art piece out per week plus venqua week, and yeah it’s kinda taken its toll. i know this really isn’t anything anyone wants to hear, but i’ve been kinda thinking of moving away from fandom projects to work on my own original work. now, i’m not saying i’m abandoning a heart and a half nor anything as drastic as that! but i have spent like 2 years of my life on it just to get to the halfway mark, and i’m not sure i can spend 2 more doing only that.

i’ve got an original story idea that i’ve been working on-and-off on for the past 7 years or so, and i’m thinking of going back to it again (it does need a pretty big re-write). its main pairing is actually pretty vanqua-ish, now that i think about it. like, imagine the realm of darkness but instead of the heartless it’s infested with demons, and the main characters are the demon-slaying duo of a serious yet kindhearted half-angel and a feral, snarky half-demon. i even aged them up from 14 to 18 so none of my potential fans have to suffer the same anti bullshit that i have. XP

what else can i ramble about... oh, i got these super cute pins for christmas! :D the heartless is by xkirakira, and vanitas and aqua are by maxxmerch. they’re just so cute! X3 i hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy holiday! i’ll see you guys later. ^3^

*looks around sheepishly* ó3ò alright... confession time. spoilers for a heart and a half for the rest of this post—

sooo~ i’ve kinda hinted at this before, but yeah i’ve always planned on adding a sex scene to a heart and a half; when i started writing back in 2018 i hadn’t realized how hostile fandom had become compared to only a few years ago, and it worries me that some readers might drop the fic because of it, or be angry with me over the underage aspect. :(

idk, i could go on about how i just wanted to explore every aspect of a romantic relationship, or how other disney/square enix characters married or had kids young (ariel, sarah hawkins, héctor, claudia strife, possibly jasmine), or how attempting to apply real-world rules to a videogame fantasy setting is inherently silly and pointless, but really it’s just ‘cause i love vanitas and aqua to bits and i just wanted to write a cute and funny mild sex scene between them (this fic is rated mature, not explicit, so much less graphic than confection affection), and at the end of the day they are just fictional characters, after all.

i guess all i can hope for is that i’m a skilled enough writer to pull it off in a believable way, and that my audience won’t be too put off by it. >_> i know vanitas and aqua have technically only known each other for about 2 months so it might not be ‘realistic’ for them to go so far into a relationship so soon, but i think it’s important to remember that ultimately this is a romantic fairytale, and other canon disney couples haven’t seen nearly as deeply into each other’s hearts as vanitas and aqua have (and this video also helped me feel better about it).

i also wanted to finish that nsfw venqua fic i started a few months back, it’s set just before the mark of mastery so yes ven would be 16. i suppose it’s a way of testing the waters to see what kind of reception i’d get (hopefully positive) before i get to that part of a heart and a half. i was also thinking of including some of the uh, ‘keyblades as erogenous zones’ aspect from this terraquaven fic as well... w-why are you looking at me like that?! it’s funny! *sweats nervously* o3o’

in all honesty, i’m probably just overthinking all this (which, knowing me, is almost a guarantee >_<) and i should just *ahem* let my heart be my guiding key, and just write what i want to write without worrying about it all the time. i just get so anxious so easily... buuut that’s not really news to anyone, now is it? ;P well, i think that’s the end of my endless ramble, thanks for reading if you got this far. X’D and i really hope i didn’t actually upset anybody about a heart and a half. ;_; i just felt like i needed to vent a little, but don’t worry about me, i’m doing fine. anyway, i really should stop typing and get back to work on venqua week, sooo... bye! X3

#wip #rambles #rant #tagging just in case

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isidar-mithrim · 4 years

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Writings Masterlist

So, with the amazing help of @ermynee – ana, for who met her on Discord! – I’ve updated and renewed my writings masterlist!

You can find it linked at the top of my blog alongside the ask and the archive buttons, but since that link is only accessible from browser, I thought about sharing it on a post as well, which I’ll tag with “writing masterlist” for easy finding ^^ Edit: I've just realised that the post a bit messy if seen from the app, but whatever, the links are there ;)

Anyway, you can find all the stories and series on my Ao3 page as well ;)

Featuring: Harry Potter

As though by a mother: Voldemort is back, and Harry keeps revisiting the graveyard in his nightmares.

A new beginning: While Ron and Hermione are in Australia, Neville and Harry are about to begin their career as Aurors, the raw memories of the battle still fresh in their minds, among some happy thoughts.

Next Generation

Letter for beyond: It’s time to go to bed at the Potters’ house. This evening, though, instead of picking a bedtime story Lily wants to read to her father a letter for another Lily, one she’s never even met.

‘Godfather and Godson’ series (see below)

Silliness of love (see Hinny)

‘Godfather and Godson’ series

Features of the past: In the middle of the night, Teddy seeks the comfort offered by a surrogate of the Mirror of Erised.

What parents would want: Teddy is about to leave for his first year at Hogwarts, but he can’t clear his mind from an uncomfortable thought

Hinny

Extra – Souls of Ink: Now, though, there was something she couldn’t talk about with any of her brothers. Or better, someone. {Ginny Weasley & Tom Riddle’s diary}

[NSFW] Fantasies: Harry can’t stop dreaming about Ginny. {HBP Missing Moment – PWP – Explicit Language}

Letter for beyond (see above)

Silliness of love: Nineteen years later, James and Al have just left for Hogwarts, and the least Harry can do to cheer Lily up is having someone over for dinner. Ch 1 – Ch 2 – Ch 3

Better than fireworks: It’s going to be his first Christmas without the Dursleys, and Harry can’t express how grateful he is for Ron inviting him to the Burrow. The fact that Ginny will be there too is just a very welcomed addition. {Muggle AU – Hinny Incognito Elf 2019}

Featuring: Neville Longbottom

Of Malus, hugs, and toads {‘Letters from Hogwarts’ series}: For more than a thousand years, every summer, in the United Kingdom, the lives of a lucky cluster of eleven years old are radically changed. The first story is that of a boy who lived for too long in the belief that he wasn’t a wizard.

Worth twelve: Neville Longbottom, esteemed member of the D.A. and beloved professor at Hogwarts, is at home for the Christmas break. While his wife Hannah takes care of the patrons of the Leaky Cauldron, Neville is able to enjoy some alone time with his sweet daughter. They’re happily playing when she suddenly gets upset, and Neville will have to use all his tact, a clumsy Transfiguration attempt, a story, an old Chocolate Frog Card and a confession to understand what’s the problem and to make her feel better.

‘Have a biscuit’ series

“Do you happen to have a biscuit?”: When and why did Minerva start keeping a tin of Ginger Newt in her office? This is the brief story of how it all began. {A prequel}

Falling down: It’s the morning after the Third Task, and Neville has been summoned by McGonagall. He goes there worried about his marks, having no idea he’s about to find out that he lived for a year near the man who tortured his parents into insanity.

Standing up: Minerva is powerless in front of Carrows’ tortures, painfully aware there’s only one way to protect her students: don’t protect them. She also knows that, if Dumbledore was still alive, nothing like that would happen, and she can’t help thinking she failed her most important duty: to keep Hogwarts safe… to keep Hogwarts home. It will be her own students to prove her that hope isn’t lost yet.

Moving on: It’s the summer after the war, and Minerva invites Neville for tea. He goes there sure she just wants to know how he’s doing, unaware that she’s about to change his life.

‘Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum’ series

The first DBBG: Voldemort has fallen, and the Wizarding World can celebrate and relax, safe. Augusta can’t believe her luck: despite actively fighting, all her family escaped the horrors of the war, and Alice and Frank can finally raise their child in a peaceful world…

The sweetest DBBG: Two old women, strong and stern. Two short letters, one written almost seven year before the other. Two boys, one fearful and goofy, the other fearless and fierce. Yet, they are both known as Neville Longbottom.

The merriest DBBG: When the news of Voldemort’s ultimate defeat reaches St Mungo, the Healers celebrate with joy and fireworks. Although, not all the patients are able to understand what’s really happening.

The last DBBG: Alice Longbottom’s life is hard to be considered so. Yet, at her death Neville won’t be able to hold back his tears: despite everything, he very well knows he’ll miss her deeply.

Featuring: Hermione Granger

Of Matilda, War and Peace: {‘Letters from Hogwarts’ series}: For more than a thousand years, every summer, in the United Kingdom, the lives of a lucky cluster of eleven years old are radically changed. The fourth is that of a girl rational enough to know she was special, but too rational to admit it.

Deluded hopes: Hermione has the best friends she could wish for, the ones she shared the most intense and dangerous moments of her life with, the ones that watch her back, the ones that would be ready to die for her — the ones she’d be ready to die for. She’d never, never switch them with anybody, and yet, sometimes she can’t help be a little envious of Parvati and Lavender friendship, of their long chats shared in the dark of the night before falling asleep. {Quadruple drabble}

Dazzling illusion: Voldemort has fallen. For many wizards and witches is time to live again, while others are still licking their wounds, picking up the debris, grieving the fallen ones. For Hermione, it’s time to find her parents and abruptly drag them back into reality.

Night in Transylvania: Young Kate Stendeer is a capable and appreciated teacher. Many years have gone by since the day she asked her students to read Night in Transylvania, and she still regrets it. That was the day she saw pure disappointment in the eyes of the brightest student she had ever had… That was the last time she had ever seen her. Perhaps, crossing paths with the Wizarding World will finally ease her guilt.

Romione

Until it’s over: Hermione looked up at him, surprised, but incapable to hold back a smile. Maybe he had listened when she’d said that next time there was a ball, he should have asked her before someone else did, and not as a last resort. Or, the brief story of a whispered promise made during a long due dance.

Standing on tiptoe: May the 2nd, 1998. The battle is over, and after Harry’s tales about the last events that brought to Voldemort’s defeat, the trio leave the Headmaster’s office, headed to Gryffindor Tower. Despite being exhausted, there’s one thing Ron needs to do before resting.

Extra – Night in Transylvania (see above)

Silliness of love: Nineteen years later, James and Al have just left for Hogwarts, and the least Harry can do to cheer Lily up is having someone over for dinner. Ch 1 – Ch 2 – Ch 3

Featuring: Minerva McGonagall

The right call: What if Minerva had something to object about not picking Harry as Gryffindor Prefect? And what if the last time she and Albus argued about an appointment there was another Potter involved, and Albus had been the one vouching for him?

Beyond the Veil: What if Minerva, in a coma at St. Mungo’s after being Stunned by four spells, had the chance to choose between staying or coming back – between living and dying – as Harry did in King’s Cross?

‘Have a biscuit’ series (see ‘Neville Longbottom’)

“Do you happen to have a biscuit?”

Falling down

Standing up

Moving on

Featuring: Albus Dumbledore

Of boggarts, Gobstones and cypress {Letters from Hogwarts – Remus}: For more than a thousand years, every summer, in the United Kingdom, the lives of a lucky cluster of eleven years old are radically changed. The third story tells us of a child whose life had already changed when he was five years old, and who didn’t believe it could change again.

How it happened that Dumbledore convinced Snape to keep it quiet: Have you ever wondered why Severus, young Hogwarts student, didn’t reveal Remus’ true nature after finding it out because of Sirius’ trick? Well, for a long time I took for granted it was simply because Dumbledore asked him not to. Then, I realised the truth.

The most valuable gift: That Halloween, that terrible Halloween is close. Dumbledore is at the Potter’s, and James shows him something the old wizard can’t help but recognise, even if it’s been decades since he stopped looking for that extraordinary triad of magical objects.

Bounty hunter {Dumbledore asks Remus to be the DADA teacher.}

Balls of wool: Dobby couldn’t have gotten him a more fitting gift.

The irony of life: Oh, the irony of life. How amusing, exquisite and cruel it can be. {Second drabble of the collection}

A pig for slaughter: Lying has never been so hard. {Drabble}

Marauders Era

“Do you happen to have a biscuit?”: When and why did Minerva start keeping a tin of Ginger Newt in her office? This is the brief story of how it all began. {A prequel of the ‘Have a biscuit’ series – see above} {James, Sirius, Minerva}

Farewell, Hogwarts: End of term, 1978. For James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Severus it’s time to say goodbye. They look at Hogwarts for what they believe is their last time, unaware that three of them will cross its gate again. Unaware that two of them won’t live much longer…

Beyond the Veil: What if Minerva, in a coma at St.Mungo after being Stunned by four spells, had the chance to choose between staying or coming back – between living and dying – as Harry did in King’s Cross? {James, Sirius, Minerva}

Once upon a time: “Once upon a time… It’s a discounted – or should we say classic? – begin for a fairy tale that even more obviously ends with the merry end ‘…and they lived happily ever after.’ But for what ‘once upon a time’ could be more suited than for telling a tale about things that were, things that had been, things that are no more? To tell a story – no, not a fairy tale – that could never end with ‘…and they lived happily ever after’?”

Jily

The first (and last) Dursley-Evans-Potter double date

Farewell, Hogwarts

Extra – The right call (see ‘McGonagall’ and ‘Dumbledore’)

Remus Lupin

Of boggarts, Gobstones and cypress {‘Letters from Hogwarts’ series}: For more than a thousand years, every summer, in the United Kingdom, the lives of a lucky cluster of eleven years old are radically changed. The third story tells us of a child whose life had already changed when he was five years old, and who didn’t believe it could change again.

Corroded by fate: November 1981. For the first time in his entire life, Remus looks forward to the full moon. Perhaps the agony of the transformation will wash away the ache for their loss, perhaps the madness of the wolf will make him forget that his best friends are two corpses, a traitor and a fistful of dust. {Drabble}

Bounty Hunter {Dumbledore asks Remus to be the DADA teacher}

And yet it tastes good: Victory’ll taste good, they’d promised. And yet, Remus can’t help thinking that war tasted better than Victory

Sirius Black

Whatever: Whatever, Sirius. How hard can it be enduring the pain that pierces your heart for a kiss shared in the dark? {Sirius/James – Sirius is secretly in love}

Beyond the Veil

Silence {Sirius finds the Potters’ corpses – Drabble}

Like yesterday {The dangerous criminal Sirius Black gets into the castle during the Halloween’s feast – Ficlet}

Make a wish {Sirius birthday in 1980 – Double drabble}

October 31st

With the tail between his legs {Voldemort finds the Potters – Double drabble}

Silence

Like yesterday

Extra – November the 3rd – Make a wish

Severus Snape

Asphodel, bezoar and aconite: It’s Harry Potter’s first Potions Class, and Severus can’t help looking at him, hating his unruly black hair – then, he sees his eyes.

One who I believe has left me forever… {‘Burns’, Drabble 2 – see ‘Featuring Death Eaters}

The irony of life: Oh, the irony of life. How amusing, exquisite and cruel it can be. {Third drabble of the collection}

Featuring: Death Eaters

Burns {because the Dark Lord is back}: A collection of drabbles to recount in about a hundred words the myriad of emotions – fear, joy, fervor, horror – that caught certain Death Eaters in the instant the Dark Lord laid a finger on Wormtail’s Dark Mark, and after almost fifteen years of silence they learned he was back. Each drabble has a different Death Eater as protagonist. Burning, of course, is the Dark Mark. Ch 1 - Ch 2 - Ch 3 - Ch 4 - Ch 5

Petty, pathetic Draco: A journey through Draco’s thoughts and emotions, since the Dark Lord demanded his service to the end of the war.

Sisterhood [Ch 1: Childless; Ch 2: Mother]: Two sisters, two Blacks. One is dark-haired, the other is blonde, but it doesn’t matter. One is childless, the other is a mother. And that’s what makes all the difference.

The irony of life: Oh, the irony of life. How amusing, exquisite and cruel it can be. {Drabble one: Crouch Jr – Drabble three: Snape}

Severus Snape: see above

Miscellaneous

Souls of Ink: Now, though, there was something she couldn’t talk about with any of her brothers. Or better, someone. {Ginny Weasley & Tom Riddle}

Caged: Three Christmases, three cages, three frames of mind. A short journey through Percy’s thoughts, since he left the Burrow to the moment he wished he’d never left. {Ficlet}

Hidden Characters: Seven unrelated drabbles, seven mysterious characters. Will less than one-hundred words be enough for you to guess? {Test your intuition and your knowledge of the saga in a guessing game!}

The irony of life: Oh, the irony of life. How amusing, exquisite and cruel it can be. {Drabble collection}

Touch: A collection of random drabbles with only one thing in common – touch.

The time of Death: Thousand are the facets of Death: for someone it lasts an instant, for others an eternity; for someone it’s a choice, for others an unforeseen surprise. Only one thing is certain: Death will come for everybody. Link 1 – Link 2 {Drabbles}

Rainbow: A drabble for the dreamy Luna, with her her clear honesty and disarming simplicity. {Drabble}

Midnight tea: It was the first time he made tea. It was his first act of kindness. {Dudley Dursley – Drabble}

It’s a lifetime service or death: A drabble for the heroic death of a lion, a drabble for the vile death of a rabbit. {Drabble}

Seven hot wheels: {Meanwhile, in Gaddley, a Muggle family of five has been found dead in their home. Muggle authorities are attributing their deaths to a gas leak, but members of the Order of the Phoenix inform me that it was the Killing Curse. - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows} – Because Muggles deserve to be remembered too. {Drabble}

‘Letters from Hogwarts’ series

For more than a thousand years, every summer, in the United Kingdom, the lives of a lucky cluster of eleven years old are radically changed. These are the stories of four of them. The first is that of a boy who lived for too long in the belief that he wasn’t a wizard, the second that of a boy who lived for too long under the illusion of being one. The third tells us of a child whose life had already changed when he was five years old, and who didn’t believe it could change again. The fourth and longest story, at last, is that of a girl rational enough to know she was special, but too rational to admit it.

Of Malus, hugs, and toads

Of missives, felines and promises

Of boggarts, Gobstones and cypress

Of Matilda, War and Peace

Extra – Night in Transylvania

May the 2nd 1998

Forgotten fighters: Few words are enough to bare the soul of a centaur – few words, to make him master of his own fate, to make him part of a strenuous fight for salvation. Few words are also enough to describe the helplessness of a gargoyle, the braveness of a knight, the fury of a little giant and the thoughts of many other characters whose effort we often forget about – wrongly so. After all, even a single grain of rice can tip the scale. {Collection of drabbles}

The aftermath: Perhaps May the 2nd 1998 seemed a day like any other to those who hadn’t been at Hogwarts to fight the last, decisive battle. Then the news of the victory and the name of the fallen began spreading and – for better or worse – it suddenly became a day impossible to forget. Ch 1 – The Prime Minister

Unfinished sentences: The war is ended, leaving havoc behind. Wounds and walls can be mended – lives can’t. {Drabble}

Drabbles & Ficlets

(Recap – Summaries above)

With the tail between his legs {The night the Potters died}

Silence {Sirius}

Like yesterday {Sirius}

Make a wish {Sirius}

Corroded by fate {Remus}

Burns {because the Dark Lord is back}: Ch 1 - Ch 2 - Ch 3 - Ch 4 - Ch 5

A pig for slaughter {Dumbledore}

Rainbow {Luna}

Midnight tea {Dudley}

It’s a lifetime service or death {Scrimgeour - Karkaroff}

Seven hot wheels {A Muggle family}

Forgotten fighters {The battle of Hogwarts}

The time of Death: Link 1 – Link 2 {Various characters}

Hidden Characters {Various characters}

The irony of life {Crouch jr, Dumbledore, Snape}

Deluded hopes {Hermione – Quadruple drabble}

Dazzling illusion {Hermione}

Touch {Various characters}

Unfinished sentences {George}

HP metas

Muggle clothing in the Wizarding World

Exclamations in Harry Potter

#writings masterlist #masterlist #writings #isidar mithrim #harry potter #long post #I'll try to remember to edit it every time I edit the official one #sorry if the formatting is messy from the app

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drfootloose · 4 years

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"Be More Chill" Theory

So idk if anybody has had this theory yet. Probably yes because this musical has been out for a year or two now but whatevs. I don't have any friends who are as into it as I am so now you all have to suffer and read it. What if the Squip isn't the bad guy?

Yes he's the antagonist, but maybe he planned out the entire climax of the show? We learn that The Squip's "quantum processor" let's him view and predict favorable outcomes based purely on probability. This is how he knew the chances of Eminem dying via hockey stick (in the show of course) while silly had a high probability of happening. Which is why he has Jeremy wear the Eminem shirt, so he can emotionally manipulate Brooke into taking interest in Jeremy after only just becoming aware of who he was after their encounter at the mall("Do you wanna ride?").

Brooke was never meant to be the end goal for Jeremy. The Squip just wanted Jeremy to use her as a stepping stone to get to Christine ("Upgrade). It is only after Jeremy learns that Christine is interested in Jake, the most popular guy in school, that The Squip changes plans. How does he get Jeremy to steal Christine away from Jake? The answer is he can't.

In today's world of online dating and social media, even the most socially inept people can make their move when it comes to interacting with crushes. Jeremy's core dilemma isn't a lack of popularity or oppurtunity, but a lack of confidence. How do we gain confidence? Experience. The Squip knows this and so begins crafting sequence events that guides the rest of the show.

After successfully getting Jeremy and Brooke together, The Squip arranges it so that Jeremy cheats on her with Chloe. Jeremy drinks alcohol which causes The Squip to malfunction and be MIA for the rest of the party, only reactivating at the end to tell Jeremy to leave. Well why not stop him from, drinking at all? Or warning him ahead of time?

We see that after this scene Brooke essentially breaks up with Jeremy but Christine also breaks up with Jake presumably due to how upset he got over Chloe's shenannigans. The Squip likely took Chloe's nature into account in his master plan as he has observed via Jake's friendship with Rich, another Squip user.

While on the subject of Rich (who is also Jeremy's bully), why is he just NOW starting to go crazy from his Squip? We learn he took it as a Freshman, and he is in the same class as Jeremy. Michael's attempts to warn Jeremy may have seemed like foreshadowing but may have been more of an example of how far The Squip is willing to go to accomplish it's goal. I think the Squip caused him to go crazy on purpose, to burn down the house after Jeremy left. This staged tragedy not only would overshadow the dramas of the party but would remove Rich and Jake from the picture as Jake breaks his legs trying to save his friend.

Jeremy then has a confrontational exchange with his dad. This alerts his dad that something is wrong, which causes him to convince his now ex-BFF Michael to go help/support him at the play ("The Pants Song"). Michael in the show is the only character with easy access to red Mountain Dew the ONE thing that can deactivate a Squip.

Meanwhile, The Squip convinces Jeremy to take the other Squip pills from Rich's locker and give them to the rest of the cast of the school play ("The Pitiful Children"). At first he goes along with it but after being confronted by Christine, Jeremy starts to realize that what he's doing is wrong. Of course by then it is too late and The Squips have already been distributed to the cast. Michael emerges from the crowd with the Red Mountain Dew, songs get sung, and the night ends with Jeremy getting Christine to #dothedew, deactivating all the Squips. For now anyway.

When Jeremy awakens in the hospital the show ends with everyone's issues and dramas resolved and Jeremy finnaly asks Christine out on a date ("Voices In My Head"). Our meek protagonist now has the confidence to live his life to the fullest! And it was all thanks to The Squip. Let's backtrack a little.

The Squip isn't just a regular old computer, its a hyper intelligent AI that has been analyzing human emotion and behavior since, we can assume, it was created. In this way it can understand human psyche and morality better than anyone. If it wanted to The Squip easily could have had Jeremy snap Jake's neck and hide the body in the first act (how wild would that've been?) then just ask out Christine once th heat dies down. But it knows that won't actually FIX anything. Jeremy will still be this timid teenager relying on The Squip to do the hard stuff. However in analyzing Jeremy via Rich, The Squip finds a way to solve the issues of the main characters in our story.

Jeremy's adventure grants him the emotional maturity and confidence to take control over his life, in the course of a couple weeks as compared to months of therapy or life coaching. Mr. Heere (Jeremy's dad) gets a harsh but needed reality check that he has lost confidence in himself and as a father and as a man since his divorce. Rich comes out to Jeremy as bisexual while in the hospital, an epiphany he only reached by being temporarily seperated from his social status. Christine realizes that she actually does like Jeremy but lacked the confidence in herself offstage to be honest about it. Brooke and Chloe have a stronger friendship then ever after the Squip has them reveal how jealous of each other they were. Hell even the drama teacher who got Squiped probably got alot of free publicity after how wild things got during his show. Jake gets Squiped too but we don't see a whole lot of his post Squip character development.

In fact Jake and Michael are the only ones in the show that didn't really need any help from the Squip. They were on opposite sides of their high school's social spectrum but had full confidence in everything they did prior to the Squip's appearance. If anything they were legit just victims/pawns in the Squip's master plan to wrap up everything with a nice little happy ending. We even see The Squip meekly calling to Jeremy only to reinforce his new found confidence in himself ("Voices In My Head").

In conclusion I fucking love this musical and I hope the movie adaptation stays true to the themes of peer pressure, mental health, and social isolation.

#be more chill #musical #theories #music #broadway #musicals #nerd alert #nerd post #just wow

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codylabs · 4 years

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The Grey Star

When people of any modern age begin their lives, they awaken in the very center of an inscrutably long story. A story older than their fathers, and their fathers’ fathers. As aged as the forgotten kings, as ancient as the eldest gods. All people have a part to play in the story, everyone who has ever walked or talked or used a tool, loved or been loved, hated or been hated, conquered or starved. They’ve all done something for which ought they to be remembered, honors and sins, lessons their experience could teach new generations, a point of view, a judgement, a word. Yet tragically, despite all the wisdom and experience heaped upon it, history remembers very little. It remembers leaders and warriors for a time, explorers and entertainers for longer, conquerors longest of all, but every one of them fades with time. Our world continues to circle the giant, the giant continues to circle the sun, the oceans freeze and melt with the seasons, and the stars look on from afar, with both ignorance and apathy. Honors are forgotten, crimes are forgotten, and people are forgotten.

I write this today in the fear that our entire world may be forgotten, alongside the crimes committed against it, and the thing that committed them. So read on, and learn the story that gave birth to me, that gave birth to the Keep, and the war against the visitor from beyond.

It started perhaps 130 years ago by my count, though I do not know when you will be reading this, or how you would convert between the length of our years and your own measure. My great-great-great-grandfather was a boy at that time, if accounts have passed accurately.

It was springtime then, when the oceans were thawing, and people were once more breaking up through the ice. One by one they emerged from the slush, shouldered a backpack, sneezed the water from their gills, and looked about to make sure their countrymen weren’t far behind. These were before the days when we knew how to keep buildings warm enough to endure the winter, so every spring began with a race back to the cities and farms that had been abandoned in the autumn, and each family had to rely on the honor of their neighbors, the fearsomeness of our own reputation, and their good running legs, to make sure they could reclaim their property. (I was not alive for that generation, and do not envy them their annual adventure. My great-great-great-grandfather seemed to remember it fondly, however, so I think many hardships are not recognized in their own time.)

Anyway, it goes without saying that most of the people were preoccupied for the first few days, so I doubt many of them noticed anything amiss. It was only when the livestock had finished thawing, and the steam motors were cranking back up to speed, and the gas was again flowing to lamps, that people had the collective luxury to be able to sit back, take a look around, and notice the third moon which had appeared in the sky.

Unlike the other bleak, rocky spheres around the gas giant, this new moon appeared featureless and cloudy, a drop of grey blood in a pool of still water. It did not reflect the sun’s golden glow or the giant’s greenish color, and it did not show itself in a crescent or a half. Instead it was all aglow as if by its own fuel, ever visible in the sky both day and night and eclipse, almost alike to a dim star.

And it was not orbiting the gas giant, it was orbiting US.

We would be fools not to suspect such a haunting visitor of intelligence or malice, and we are no fools. Our scholars and strategists and other great minds studied it with keen intent throughout that spring, summer, and fall, debating as to its size, distance, origin, and capabilities. Bunkers were dug. Fortifications were erected. Messages were launched as high toward the heavens as we could get them, and words were written on hillsides in as many languages as we could think to write them. Words like “who are you” and “what do you want” and “do not dare attack, for we are prepared.” We did not know what to think, of course, and our diplomacy was as one-sided as our knowledge of the heavens, so I suppose it all sounds a little silly now.

That winter never came. Though the sun receded in the sky and the heavenly spheres continued to turn, our visitor glowed a little brighter and somehow kept the cold away. The livestock never hibernated, our industry never ceased, and though we kept a weary eye turned upward, we prospered and continued, storing up food and supplies out of counting.

The next year, the Summer never came. The ice above us remained thick and unyielding for a year and half a year, and those that managed to chip through reported a sky which never glowed brighter than twilight, choked by a layer of black cloud, which seemed to move and shift on its own accord. Above, many animals died in their hibernation, trees tried to bloom and failed forever, while beneath, a score of underwater wars ravaged our people, as we desperately fought over the scraps of food we had recently thought so plentiful. The cloud was gone when the oceans finally thawed, and our visitor hung low, forcing the oceans into tides by its very presence.

It was then that it introduced itself, with inaudible words that were heard in the mind. Only certain people heard its words, anybody who was intelligent, or ambitious, or proud, or irreverent. “Hello.” The visitor said to its chosen rabble of prophets. “I have been testing your race, both publicly and privately, and you have proven yourselves industrious, hardy, and fierce, admirable and clever enough to be worthy of my interest. I have come to you from far away, to help your people free themselves from their primitive ignorance and their petty delusions. Ask me any question, and I shall answer it with a galaxy’s measure of knowledge.”

“Who are you?” Our prophets asked.

“I am an ancient and wise scholar. Greatest among mortal and immortal alike, and higher than all who ever lived.” Our visitor lied. “I am a light of knowledge to all those who ask. I know everything and can do anything. You may call me the Grey Star.”

“If you are so knowledgeable, then what is the meaning of life?” Our prophets tested it.

“There is no meaning.” The visitor lied. “Life is an accident and a coincidence and has no value beyond the value it assigns to itself. Measured against each other, you are valuable. Measured against me, you are not.”

“Where do you come from?” We asked.

It did not give a true answer.

But some of our prophets asked it more specific and practical questions. “How can we recover from the year of winter you cursed us with?” “How can we heal our broken world?” “How could we have survived our winters without hiding in the ocean?” “Tell us the secret of electricity.” “Is the atom the smallest thing there is?” “How can one transmute lead to gold?” “Is there any manner of bullet which can function underwater?” “

Unlike the other questions, it was to these kinds of selfish scientific inquiries that the visitor offered direct and truthful answers. And by the answers it gave, for better or for worse, our world and our people were forever changed. The ways we moved, and farmed, and fought wars changed. Resources slowly became more plentiful, materials became stronger, tools more effective, machines more numerous, weapons more deadly. By so many peculiar steps down the road of insight, life became larger, grander, more capable.

Electric motors and atomic motors replaced steam motors. Electric bulbs replaced flame. Whirling contraptions in long lines replaced the workers in the factories, and the workers themselves joined the ranks of soldiers. Atomic weapons were invented, outlawed, and used anyway. Medicines were refined. Machines became precise. We wove copper coils into thinking contraptions that could manage mathematics and information and other great feats of thought. Strong vehicles of the land and the sea were improved and refined, and were joined by vehicles of the sky. We learned how better to preserve ourselves and to kill one another. We prospered. We suffered. For decades out of count, we knew no end to the worst kinds of war, while from high above, the Grey Star watched and encouraged.

To this day, I am unclear what it had been attempting to do by contacting our people. Was it trying to instill us with awe and fear for its own glory? Was it trying to give us hope, or take our hope? Was it trying to make us forget God, and become wholly secular? Was it trying to expand the horizons of our knowledge and understanding, to make us into higher forms of life? Was it grooming us into a race of warriors for its own usage? Or was it merely trying to provoke a hungry people into a magnificent spectacle of bloodshed, so as to satisfy its own eons of boredom?

I do not know. It did not say.

But, regardless of its intended message, the message we interpreted was clear: that our mastery over our world was being contested. And we knew, with a grim and crystal clarity, and without a single shred of doubt, from the first moment, to a man, we knew: Our true enemy was the Grey Star.

And it had to be destroyed.

Uhhh just some unfinished nonsense that I thought was fun. Ideas and seeds for stories have been bouncing around my head recently.

#the grey star #original #scifi

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neshabeingchildish · 4 years

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Poly Wanna? Ch. 10

Even though this is a rated M story with characters in the 27-29 age range, I understand and respect that there are kiddos here and have no intention of writing flat out graphic adult material. I’ve used a lot of mature language, but have hopefully not gone too far in this chapter, which has numerous dreams and situations that I tried not to make too explicit. Be prepared for a few shockers, but hopefully, the M didn’t go into some other higher letter!

I stopped tagging as many people. I heard that the tags weren’t really working well anyway, so I just started over on these tags with the people that I know are reading and if anybody else is, they can find it on my page. @adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @woahjusttakeiteasy-man (I hate this because it’s way too mature content for your eyes and I feel like I have to say that, but also feel like if I didn’t tag you, that’d be effed up, because you’ve read and reviewed every chapter!) @up-the-tube Anywhooo, if any of the 4 of y’all, or I guess I should say if Lizzie and Niah want me to PROMPTLY remove you after this update, I understand completely and I am SO SORRY FOR THIS. I tried to handle it hella different ways. Nothing went right. I know them first two just put up with ANTYTHING from me. 😅

Laughing Fits and Lucid Dreams

The movie watching went well. They wound up turning on some horror movies and Charlotte practically clung to Jasper the entire time. He loved that. She was so fearless, but whenever a horror movie was on, she would be worked up and a little bit terrified. Jasper fell to sleep first, probably because the past couple of days he hadn’t slept well at all. He had been awake and worried, then the three were awake all night and before the sun even set, he was passed out and draped around Charlotte. She tried to get up a few times, but he clung to her and groaned whenever she attempted. Poor thing. “I was pretty positive that between Jasper’s lack of sleep, my pulling and tugging his emotions in various directions and Henry and I arguing in front of him that he was not only exhausted (which I think is why he had a panic attack), but he was also scared and even in his sleep, his abandonment or rejection issues were flared up. I sent Henry to get my travel box of crystals from my room and I was determined to intercede on Jasper’s behalf, so that he’d be able to sleep well.”

Charlotte selected a rainbow moonstone, herkimer diamond and opal aura to set out. Henry didn’t mind if Jasper remained in his bed, but he recommended that Charlotte stay too. “If he wakes up in bed with me, and you’re not here, I don’t know how he’ll react to that.”

“Like I could get away, anyway. This boy is squeezing me like a python.” Jasper snuggled in even closer to her and held more tightly.

Eventually, he did let go. He was asleep and Henry was out fighting crime, so Charlotte went back to the Man Cave to check up on him. Nobody told her she could, but being back in there had stirred something up in her. She went up there to sit at the control panel and see if she still “had it.” Spoiler alert, of course she did. No plot twist, though. She was surprised to see Henry return alone. Where the heck was Ray? Asleep? She shook her head.

“You just keep exploring on your own, huh?” Henry asked.

“Who’s gonna stop me?” She asked back. He laughed and transformed into his regular clothes. “I started some work while I’m here. Thought about running some stuff past Schwoz, but he’s probably asleep.”

“Like you should be. I mean, I see that you’re dressed for it.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m in the middle of something right now,” she said and pointed to the screen. He couldn’t tell what she was supposedly in the middle of, so he just let her have her way and went to get himself something from the auto snacker.

Henry and Charlotte eventually went back up the elevator and checked on Jasper. He was still completely out. She was in her night clothes while in the Man Cave, so she simply slipped back into Henry’s bed with Jasper and he quickly resumed holding her closely, tightly.

Jasper had this cuddle habit. He kinda groped you in his sleep. His hand cuffed her “gens” and his other arm was wrapped gently around her throat. It was a possessive hold that Henry remembered well. He went to get cleaned up and threw on a pair of boxers, stared at himself in the mirror for a while and wondered, was he ready to do this? Should he just grab some covers and take one of the several other beds in the house? Part of him knew that might be best for everybody. That part of him was thoughtful and considerate. It didn’t win. He climbed into his own bed and laid down next to Jasper, wrapped an arm around the two of them and felt Charlotte’s hand touch his, then intertwined their fingers. He didn’t know if that was conscious or not, but was scared that if he questioned it, even in a whisper, it would be too jarring and possibly make it weird. Jasper shifted a little and Henry took a deep breath, cuddled closer to him and let himself fall asleep.

Henry blew a bubble, then went up the tube. Charlotte was doing some interpretive dance in the living room, belly full with child, and music playing, accompanied by ethereal voices, in the background. There was a patch of grass beneath her bare feet, a real patch that he had made room for, for her. Jasper was nearby, playing the bongos with his hands and beatboxing. She wound up at his lap, he pushed the bongos aside and collected her into an embrace and kissed her. Henry backed away, giving them some space, or… maybe he was… getting smaller? He looked at the place, it was getting smaller, and eventually, it was no longer his house, but Jasper’s apartment. The grass was gone, the place was cozy and they were perfectly happy without him… And he realized that he’d shrunk so small that he vanished and everything went dark.

Henry awoke with a start and glanced next to him. Jasper was awake, but cuddling Charlotte, who was asleep. “You okay?” He wondered.

Henry nodded, “Bad dream.”

“Bad dream, or honest one? Char’s got the good dream crystals out,” he said and pointed a thumb. “I mean… they’re like in HD, Dude. I had amazing dreams. They didn’t all make sense, though. Mostly about… you…” He turned his gaze to Charlotte and rubbed her arms. “And of course, her. Thank God… What were you dreaming about?”

“You… The two of you… Just… like… I don’t know… You two have a connection. You’ve got this beautiful thing going on, and since I’ve been back in your lives, I’ve just kinda been making a mess of things. You’d probably be better just forgetting about me.”

“No doubt, but it’s a little late for that. You said that you love us… You’re going to have to tough out whatever that confession will mean for all of us.”

“Do you think that it does mean anything for all of us?” “I think that I woke up because I heard her say your name in her sleep. I think all three of us are experiencing a lot of feelings.”

“That’s because I stepped back into the picture. You and Charlotte could be on a patch of grass, expecting a baby, with her dancing a tribute to the moon goddess or something and you playing bongos and beatboxing, but instead, you’re sleeping in my bed, and none of us are getting any.”

“That was an oddly specific depiction, but add a cat and I’d say fairly accurate,” Jasper chuckled. Henry sighed. Jasper pointed to a slip of paper beneath the crystals. “I didn’t look to see what she wrote down, but whenever I ask her in the morning, I'll bet it'll be something about the three of us. Come here…" Henry came closer and Jasper shifted to allow Henry to cuddle up with Charlotte. He wanted this SO bad, but she hadn't really made him feel like it was okay. Then again, if she'd said his name in her sleep… Henry wrapped himself around her and moaned out a sigh. He was asleep again in no time.

“Hey, Hen!” Charlotte cheered, come on! You’ve gotta get in here!” He looked over to where she and Jasper were inside of a photo booth. “When was the last time that we took a photo?” She asked, with a beaming smile and radiant skin. He rushed to get into the photo and they took several. They put their faces together, made silly expressions, shared a few kisses.

Jasper cheered, “Win me something!” And Henry rushed to do so. He got him the biggest stuffed animal… though it was a sasquatch. “Yay! Bigfoot comes home with us!” Jasper celebrated as Henry handed him the huge plushy.

“You guys wanna get on the ferris wheel?” Henry wondered. They didn’t look excited about that. “I’ll make it worth it, for both of you…” He told them. Their interests were piqued and they went for it.

Whenever the ride first started, Henry’s hand began to move up Charlotte’s pretty little floral dress. She smiled and looked at Jasper who raised his eyebrows and licked his lips. Charlotte leaned back to slide her pelvis forward and Henry shifted to get on his knees. Jasper simply smiled and set his plushy aside, so that he didn’t miss anything. The next circle, it was his turn. But, Henry certainly couldn’t pull that off with him in his romper… Actually… Henry could! Jasper protested for a short moment that Henry might rip his “romphim,” but was silenced soon enough. As they got off of the ride, Charlotte took one of Henry’s hands and one of Jasper’s. “Let’s go home,” she said…

Charlotte woke up and looked at Henry, wrapped around her and shifted to see Jasper wrapped around him. She grabbed her paper from beneath her crystals and looked at it. “Please, allow us to see how it could be, if we got out of our own ways and did was what best for everybody. If we forgive, forget and move forward… I would like to see THAT dream…” She set it back down and went to the bathroom to pee, rub one out and refresh. Henry’s bathroom was even extravagant, though most of his things weren’t in there. Some necessities were in the cabinets and he had really good toilet paper and a very expensive looking bidet. She’d gotten one of those ones that you attach to the toilet whenever they lived together and kept upgrading it whenever she could over the years, but didn’t have a separate and sophisticated basin!

She came back to the two men cuddled up and wondered how Henry wound up in the middle and if that meant that Jasper didn’t want her next to him. She had several dreams throughout her sleep, that she could remember very vividly. That last one though… it made the most sense and was the clearest, so she figured maybe that was the dream that she was meant to see.

The previous one wasn’t even a current VERSION of her! She looked like she was in college! In fact, she remembered that night that she had dreamed about…

Charlotte was stressed out, gathering a bunch of books to turn back into the library, dressed as a complete nerd, barely able to stay on her feet, with huge goggles atop her head and a messy bun in her hair, with poofy tendrils traveling away from her. As soon as she dropped the books into the deposit, she took a deep breath. She made it! She could go celebrate tonight! She stepped into the place, hair done, and transformed for a few hours into a little vixen, still kinda awkward, but in a delicious little package that reminded Jasper of a golden candy wrapper. He stared at her and she made eye contact with him, then smiled shyly and turned away. She went to find a seat, so that she could size up the room - figure out where the exits were in case of emergency, figure out where her vantage point would be for getting in and out of the bathroom, where she would most likely be more visible, or preferably, most likely not to.. And two guys came up to the table, simultaneously. One, the one that she’d seen earlier had asked if she wanted to dance. The other, a tall blond, asked her if he could buy her a drink. The two men turned to look at each other, challengingly, but then they look each other up and down, rushed towards each other and immediately began kissing. She had found it. The perfect seat.

That wasn’t exactly how it had happened in real life. She had gone out, gotten hit on by about a dozen old men, and went home drunk and depressed, remembering that she had been dumped by her ex and in turn lost her other ex, and she did more drinking when she got home. The dream was a nice little reimagining.

She wondered what THEY were dreaming about, but shoved her way into the middle of them. They barely resisted her doing so and after she managed to squeeze in between them, both were facing her and laid hands or arms on her in some way or another. That was more like it. Who did they think they were, putting HER on the outside? But, now that she was in the middle with them groping and rested on her. Damn… she’d forgotten how sore she still was… and NOW, she was being poked at by TWO peckers. “Ugh. Good going, Charlotte,” she whispered to herself.

Jasper was on the dance floor, twerking. Charlotte, at the bar in a tailored suit and a hat dipped low over her eye. Feelgood walked into the place and several patrons paused to see if that was actually him, or if some person was simply going around dressed like him. He came up to the bar and immediately noticed the tiny stud checking him out. She told the bartender, “His drink’s on me,” then, she took a sip of hers, touching the liquid with her tongue, before her lips. He smiled at her and moved closer to thank her, but she put a single finger up to his lips to quiet him, even though she hadn’t glanced at him again since her initial power move. She was watching something, or rather, someone. He turned to see him, a sweaty, beautiful disaster. He understood completely why she didn’t want to be disturbed.

After a while, the woman beckoned the dancing man with the curve of a perfectly manicured finger, her pinky, glistening with a pink diamond. He came over and she gathered him to herself by the buttcheeks, slapped him across one and kissed him on the ear, “Got you a present, Babe.” She turned him to face Mr. Feelgood.

Jasper cheered, “I’m such a fan!”

Feelgood said, “I’ve only seen you for five minutes, and I’m a fan, now, as well.” Jasper blushed.

The woman pressed close to Feelgood, beckoned him down to her, like she’d just done Jasper and he had no choice but to lean closer to her, because she had just commanded it. What was he supposed to do? Deny her? Their faces were joined at the nose and she said, softly, “You’d better not hurt him, or I’ll hurt you. Thank you for your service,” and planted a slow and painful kiss on his lips. The rest of it was a blur of body parts, touching, kissing, the flash of her camera…

Jasper woke up grinding against Charlotte and quickly stopped himself. These dreams were becoming a problem! But, Charlotte was back next to him and facing Henry… Actually, she was laying against Henry’s chest and his fingers were tangled up in her curls. Jasper moved in closer to her and rested his head in her curls and cuffed her to himself, without taking her off of Henry’s chest, because he didn’t wanna disturb her. But, he was also painfully aware of what that last dream had done inside of his shorts. He should probably deal with that? Naw, it’d go away in a while if he ignored it. Whenever it went down, he went back to sleep.He had a filthy, raunchy dream about them.

It was mostly him speaking very aggressively to Henry and ordering him around, making an object of him and dominating him to serve he and Charlotte. To pleasure them at his command, and cleaning them up. But, with Charlotte, he was not only gentle, but docile, speaking to her as though she were a goddess that he was worshipping through these acts. She was divinity and Henry was a sacrifice. Something that he owned and was offering to her. And Henry was willing to be that to him, to her, for him, for them. But, she explained to him that Henry needed to be pleased and cleaned up to, and asked him nicely if he was willing to do that, for her. Of course, he was. And she collected both of them to her bosom and held their heads in her hands, stroking their hair.

The situation in his shorts woke him up. UGH! I knew I should have taken care of this! He got up and went into the bathroom and just decided to take a cold shower, since he needed to clean himself up, anyway. He’d read that cold showers curbed libido and apparently, all of his dreams would be lascivious cesspools tonight. His daydream in the shower though was anything but.

It was them going home together from an amusement park. Charlotte had honeycombs from the rooftop beehives that Henry put there specifically for her and she made them snacks of cheese, edible flowers, fruit, and those honeycombs. She gave the cat some homemade pate that she did herself. She played thunderstorm sounds accompanied by music, and lit candles all over. They talked for a while, laughing about nothing and everything, then kissed, then touched, then… Maybe his daydreams were tainted too. Maybe… this itch just needed to be scratched! Maybe… If they just did this, did it… Everything could just continue on and they didn’t have to think about it this hard anymore. Maybe, he was just hoping for a good excuse to climb back into that bed naked and just let or orchestrate something to happen! This cold shower was VERY uncomfortable and not the LEAST BIT helpful! He turned off the water and shivered as he dried off. Then realized/remembered that his shorts were in no condition to be put back on. He was going to get the towel and go get more, but whenever he was picking them up off of the floor, he heard the bathroom door open and he quickly turned and faced Henry, whose eyes went wide and directly to...well… the jewels. He turned away and covered his face, “Sorry, Dude. I’ll go use another bathroom,” Henry said.

“No, I was just about to go!” Jasper said and wrapped himself in a towel and rushed out, forgetting his shorts. Henry was going to tell him that he had, but when he picked them up, they were still… not wet, but clearly they’d been recently… altered. He chuckled to himself and flung them into his laundry hamper, disturbed that he had been tempted to give them a whiff.

Whenever he finished using the bathroom and washing his face, he went back to the bedroom and Jasper and Charlotte were gone. Jasper had either woke her up to leave, or had picked her up and carried her out. Henry didn’t want to bother them, but he did want Jasper to know that it was okay and he wasn’t going to do anything because of what he’d seen. He went to check in Charlotte’s room and heard the two of them giggling. The door was cracked, so he peeked in and saw Jasper, releasing his towel and getting in bed, on top of her. He left, but he knew that there was no way that he could go to sleep now. He went back into his room and collected her stones and set them and her paper outside of her bedroom before going back into his own and locking the door. He turned down his lights, opened a bottle of wine from the bedroom wine cooler in his closet, and decided to do a late night wine workout, a bit of wine, a bit of workout to blow off some of his energy, then meditate and finish the wine and then, he might go back to sleep and just hide out in here until those two left… He heard a knock on the door and rolled his eyes. They must’ve left something.

He opened the door and Char was in a thin little robe and Jasper was in a pair of boxers. “Yeah?”

“Sorry we took off. We had to handle something. Can we come back?” Charlotte asked.

“Not if you’re bringing those damn crystals. I didn’t get ANY sleep!” Henry complained, but he was really glad that they came back and got out of the way of the door to let them in. Jasper wouldn’t look at him, so he stepped in front of him to make him at least reflexively do so. Jasper and he were face to face and Charlotte laughed, “Now kiss!” She said, playfully. Jasper leaned his head back, but then gave Henry a quick smack on the lips and sidestepped him to go back to the bed. Henry licked his lips. They tasted like Char. He smiled and blushed and asked, “Does anybody want a bottle of inexpensive wine?”

“I’ll take one.”

“I’ll take a couple,” Jasper said. Henry handed Charlotte a bottle and handed Jasper one white, one red.

“Hey… if you two lived here, what kinda stuff would you like to add or take away to or from the house?” Henry asked.

They began talking at the same time and Henry, after years of this, even though it had been a while, managed to hear every single word that they both said. A patch of indoor grass for yoga and meditation, rooftop beekeeping, a colossal sasquatch plushie… “Hey, wait… I had a dream that I won you one of those! I thought I made that up in my head. Are there colossal sasquatch plushies somewhere?”

“You won ME one?” Jasper asked in excitement.

“Yeah! We went on the ferris wheel and I went down on both of you,” Henry said, laughing.

“Oh!” Jasper didn’t know how else to reply. “Just throwing it out there, I guess.”

“Well, it’s obviously Char’s fault, because she’s the one who brought in the sex dream crystals.”

“I brought in crystals for dream clarity and recall. Nobody told you to think of going down on people on a ferris wheel. Don’t put this on those crystals.”

“I’m putting it on you!” Henry said. “You wore a chocolate skin tight dress all day, and a silky short set to bed, especting somebody to have decent thoughts.”

“ESPECTING?” Jasper repeated, laughing. “How much wine have YOU had?”

“How much jizz did you have in your shorts when I found you naked in my bathroom?” Henry asked.

“WHOA!” Charlotte said and her eyes widened. “You didn’t tell me that Henry saw you naked! Is… that why you needed a late night fix?”

“I needed that before the Henry incident. I took a shower, I wasn’t wrapped in a towel, and he came in to use the bathroom. I promptly covered myself and left.”

“And came to get me for a quickie,” Charlotte said.

“Which I needed BEFORE the cold shower I’d just taken, that didn’t work.”

“Relax. I barely saw anything. All I saw was his butt bent over and like 2.5 seconds of dingle. Are you shaving now?”

“I try to keep things orderly,” Jasper said.

“Good job.”

“Show us your stuff,” Charlotte said to Henry.

“Do what now?” Yeah, huh?” Henry and Jasper replied.

“He saw our dick and we should see his,” Charlotte said.

“Our?” Henry said. “You… You gotta… I don’t remember seeing YOUR…”

She grabbed a handful of Jasper’s and confirmed, “This is OURS. Show us YOURS.”

“Ours is… awakened,” Jasper said quietly. She didn’t let go. Henry looked at Jasper, wondering if this was an honest request or demand. Jasper knew what his look meant. “I do believe that she means it,” he said.

Henry laughed and stood up, “Fine. Okay…” He pulled down his pajama bottoms and reached for his boxers, “I mean… it’s just private parts under these. No… not any…”

“SHOW US YOUR DICK!”

“OKAY!” Henry pulled his boxers down and Charlotte screamed and laughed. “Wow. You are a mean lady,” he said and pulled his shorts back up.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. I just can’t believe you listened to me!” She laughed onto Jasper’s chest. Jasper hadn’t laughed. He’d looked right at it and it didn’t seem to be a laughing matter to him. “Nice landscaping. Is it flames?”

“It’s supposed to be a tulip,” Henry said, looking into his shorts. “I couldn’t do a daisy, but I’m definitely practicing.”

“It’s nice,” Jasper said, softly.

“Yeah, Jasper’s jumped at the sight of it!”

“You can’t drink anymore around Henry,” Jasper said and took her practically empty wine bottle. She gave him a threatening look, but he just kissed her on the nose and said, “So, I guess you’re not showing us anything?”

“You both know what it looks like,” she said.

“Henry doesn’t. I doubt that you had the same thing going on when you two were together.”

“You’re right, I didn’t,” she said and smiled. But didn’t make any move to show anybody anything. Instead, she said, “So, Hen. I have a Bermuda Triangle piercing…” he gasped. “I get a Brazilian wax, front to back, but leave a patch of hair at the mons pubis, and it’s trimmed like an arrow pointing down, and above the arrow is a little Adinkra power of love symbol tattoo. My stuff is too much for your eyes to handle. You can’t even handle the description.”

All he said was, “I don’t know what kinda tattoo you mean. I think you need to show me so I won’t be ignorant.”

“Google it,” she said and laughed.

“How hot is it, Jasp?”

“Super hot. I mean, all of her is, but it's like… unf.” Henry undressed and Jasper and Charlotte watched, speechless.

He got naked and said, “I’m going to bed like this. This is how I like to sleep and this is how I’m gonna sleep.”

Charlotte said, “Aight, I’m head out…” And she and Jasper cackled, but she didn’t head out.

Henry got up and asked, “Any more wine for anybody else?”

“You don’t think you’ve have enough, huh?” Jasper wondered. Henry came out with three bottles and passed them around. Charlotte set hers aside and Jasper opened his.

“I’m going to sleep, so that I can get up and see the sunrise in a few hours. You two have fun. Be safe,” she said.

“We’re not doing anything without you,” Henry said, opening the bottle. She fought a smile. “This is a… triad. So, sweet dreams,” he said and kissed her on the forehead… Like he wasn’t stark naked.

“You… too…” She said and laid down. He dimmed the lights a little more and Jasper climbed under the covers and removed his shorts, as well. But, he was gonna finish this bottle and go to sleep. He didn’t know if he was trying to watch the sunrise. But, he hoped to at least get some sleep. Henry locked the door back, just in case Ray, Schwoz, or worse, PIPER, came through the place. He’d have a hell of a time explaining any of this. He was just figuring out himself what he wanted and needed.

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

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suspendrs · 5 years

Text

thank you to my very best friend @moonlightlouie / @moonoodledoodle for making this lil comic.

one last story before i go:

i started writing fic when i was 16, after my very first heartbreak. i didn’t even know i was queer back then, but i had my very first internet friend, and we were as close as any two ‘straight’ larries could be. We talked about everything without actually talking about any of it, we were each other’s safe space, and it was, to this day, the most special relationship i’ve ever had with another human. even though i don’t talk to this person anymore, i wish her all the best in the world, and i think about her every single day of my life.

when this specific friend stopped talking to me, i went into a depressive spiral. i didn’t know at the time that i was experiencing my very first heartbreak, or that the weird infatuation i had with that girl was probably my very first love, but i know that not having her anymore ruined me. i didn’t know what to do with all of those feelings; i couldn’t eat, i couldn’t sleep, all i could do was stare at the wall and think, and think, and think.

the very first fic i ever wrote, the oldest story on my ao3, is by far the worst thing i’ve ever written. it’s sloppy, it’s poorly written, it’s overly sexual and probably really problematic in a lot of ways. i am not proud of that fic whatsoever, and yet, almost five years later, i still cannot bring myself to delete it, because it reminds me of that girl i lost, the safety and the security she used to bring to me that every day when i got home from school, i’d have her to escape to. i wrote it for her, because of her, in replacement of her, and now every time i think of her, i think of everything she gave me.

if i hadn’t spent the week between christmas and new year’s in 2014 with a pain in my chest so troublesome i’m still surprised it didn’t kill me, if that pain hadn’t driven me to make one last desperate attempt to keep even the tiniest part of a person that meant everything to me and to whom i meant nothing, i wouldn’t be anywhere close to where i am today. i know that there’s a .000001% chance that you’re seeing this right now, Em, but thank you. for everything.

when i posted that first fic, i never expected anything to come out of it. it was for me, the equivalent of an old sleep shirt i stole from the girl who didn’t love me back, and i never thought in a million years that i’d even write another fic, let alone 42 more. in the first night that first fic was up, it raked in a little over a hundred hits, and exactly 15 kudos, and i was on top of the world.

validation wasn’t something i was terribly used to at that point in time. i was bullied a lot as a kid by the group of girls i was supposed to be friends with. i never knew i was being bullied; i thought i deserved their cruelty, i thought it was something natural, something inherit about me that made me That Friend. some climates are warmer than others, some fish are predators and some are prey, and someone in the friend group must always be chosen to play the unwanted dog in every game of house.

those first fifteen kudos on a fic i didn’t even know that anybody would find meant the entire world to me. finally, someone could see me, someone appreciated me, someone thought i was good at something, worthy of a written notice of praise. it was fucking life changing.

i started writing more, i made some new fandom friends, i made a lot more meaningful connections. i made new friends in real life, ones that seemed to care about me more, and then when it turned out that they didn’t really care, either, i made some different new friends, and even more after that. i kept posting stories online, making more and more friends all over the world, gaining respect and receiving feedback and pouring myself a foundation to begin growing as a person, building myself up brick by brick until i learned to respect myself as much as i wanted other people to respect me.

and then, october of 2015. a friend of mine i don’t talk to anymore from a group chat that isn’t even active now asked me to write a youtube au, something cute and fluffy, not too serious. i took the prompt gladly, wrote a silly little thing modeled around some youtubers i really loved, and put it out in the world just like i had the other couple things i had written so far. within a few days, the tumblr post already had almost 2,000 notes, and the fic itself had nearly 10k hits, almost 1,000 kudos, and climbing. i was awestruck. suddenly, it seemed like everyone in the world was talking about my fic, about me. my other works gained a little attention, but nothing like the youtuber au, nothing like that euphoric feeling of having done something good, something great, even, something people liked and loved and wanted more of, holy shit, i had real people asking me to do more of something because they liked it, and by extension they liked me. My friends were proud of me, and suddenly i had even more people wanting to be my friends, wanting to talk to me in any capacity, and it was absolutely exhilarating.

none of the stories i posted after the first part of the youtuber au ever gained nearly that amount of attention, but as time went on, i grew to be okay with that. i moved away from writing things that i thought other people might want to read and started writing things that i thought i might like to write, and somehow, people kept reading. every time i posted a fic, people would say lovely things, compliment my writing and tell me they were excited to read more from me, and somehow that was even more exhilarating than my 15 minutes of fame with the youtuber au. i kept writing stories that i loved, and people kept loving them, too, and then, suddenly, four years had gone by, i had written over a million words, and i was a different person entirely.

writing fic got me through that first heartbreak, but then it kept getting me through everything else, too. it got me through realizing i was queer, and then it got me through my high school friend group dumping me because they found out i was queer. it got me through deciding my college major (english and creative writing, obviously), it got me through my first relationship and my first break up, and then my second relationship and my second breakup, and a lot of weird and awkward and bad times in between. writing got me through my homesickness when i moved to london, and it got me through my depressive episode when i got home from london, and it helped me through all my stress and sleepless nights and self-destructive behavior last semester when i thought i was going to fail out of college in my junior year. writing fic has always been my escape, my coping mechanism, and my favorite hobby, and i owe more to it than even i probably realize.

as much as i credit my very first internet friend, love interest and heartbreak for all of this, i need to credit Harry and Louis, as well, for the endless amount of love and support and security they have unknowingly provided to me over the past few years. without them, none of this would have happened to me. ff there’s a .000001% chance that Em is reading this, there’s a 0% chance that Harry or Louis is, but i’m gonna say it anyway: thank you, thank you, thank you. no matter what the truth is, you two have given me a home. you’ve given me something to belong to, you’ve given me a family, and a purpose, and a sense of direction. you’ve inspired me endlessly, you’ve opened doors through time and space and given me a way out of whatever i was going through, if only for a little while. you’ve given me an identity, or at least the tools to find it on my own. you’ve given me an entire world and a baby’s-first-tool-kit to go out and conquer it. thank you for being everything i never knew i needed.

and to you, reading this, whoever you are, thank you, too. ff you’ve made it this far, that means you must care at least a little, and i cannot thank you enough for that. i never thought i’d be the type of person that other people could care about. i thought i would always be alone in the world. thank you so fucking much for proving me wrong.

i’m gonna go do some things now. i’m gonna go work on making some dreams come true, like graduating college, writing a novel, traveling the world and hopefully finding even more dreams along the way. i’m not leaving the fandom, not entirely, but i’ve gained enough self-awareness over the years to understand that, at this point in my life, my being in this fandom is doing more harm than it is doing good. i don’t mean to say that i’ve outgrown the fandom, but more to say that i have outgrown the person that i am in here. it’s time for me to poke some holes in this eggshell i’ve been keeping cozy in, to let some light in and breathe some new air. i think i’m ready to do that now.

thank you, one last time, for everything. there isn’t a single thing in the world that i don’t owe to this fandom. thank you for allowing me to contribute, and for letting me grow, and for all the other things i can’t even begin to comprehend. i know what love is now, and suddenly, it is all i can feel.

thank you, and goodnight. xoxo, liv

#gosh #it's the end of an era lads #thank you for everything #goodbye ❤️

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themonkeycabal · 5 years

Note

Slightly random but Hodgepodge request: the end of chapter 4 of Its Alright We'll Be Up All Night from the lady who was being followed's perspective. Just a wee snippet of how that wee interaction went down perhaps? Please.

Well, since you said please:

***

Izzy Taveres just wanted to get home. She was having one of those days — her shift at the restaurant ran over with a huge family party that ended in a brawl and a police raid. The train was late, she missed her bus, and now she had to walk because she couldn't justify paying for a cab for five blocks. All of which meant she was going to be even later, and the babysitter was going to charge her extra. And it just … ugh. Her feet hurt, her head hurt, her uniform smelled like sour wine and marinara sauce, and now she was going to have to take down the laundry before she could go to sleep and she really hoped she could find a few quarters in the couch cushions or the junk drawer. God, what a day.

Sighing softly, she trudged down the sidewalk. It was late enough that the streets were relatively quiet. A handful of cars, not many pedestrians. Which is why her heart jumped when she heard the footsteps start up behind her. Closing her eyes briefly, she took a deep breath, and then shook her head. She was being silly. The street was well lit, there may not have been much traffic, but there was *some*, and the neighborhood was a long way from desolate. Still, she pulled her bag a little closer to her body, and slipped a hand into the outer pocket where she had that can of gel pepper spray her sister gave her.

Her steps picked up, and so did her heart rate, as she crossed the eerie black void of a mid-block alley. The footsteps behind picked up with hers and her mouth went dry.

Izzy most definitely did not need this. She really, really did not need this. She could not afford this, absolutely not. She had just enough to get her and Mia through to the end of the next week, and then she'd get paid. If she lost tonight's tips, it would be so much harder. She'd probably have to ask her sister for another loan.

The footsteps got closer. Oh God, she hoped her tips was all they wanted. She had an eight-year old daughter, and while being a single mom was hard, going home to her kid made everything worth it. That's all she wanted, to go home to her daughter. Oh Lord, help her. Please help her.

She thought she felt fingers brush her back and a sharp tang of adrenaline and terror filled her mouth. Pulling out her pepper spray, she hunched her shoulders, and tried to be brave as she turned around to face her attacker. Except, she couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut, which probably wouldn't help. However, before she got all the way around, she heard a weird yelp and a thud, and that presence behind her wasn't there anymore.

Prying open one eye, still hesitant, still afraid, she peeked towards the alley as a man in a black leather jacket stepped out dusting off his hands on his jeans. Another, much larger, man turned towards her and held out his hands, trying to show he was harmless. Except he really was huge and she almost straight up hit him with the pepper spray on instinct.

"Our pardon, miss; we didn't mean to alarm you," he said in a deep, accented voice.

Two more men followed behind the first pair, and Izzy backed away and clung, with a shaky hand, more tightly to her pepper spray. Despite the big guy's attempt to appear not threatening, it was late, dark, and she was out-numbered and terrified.

"Hi, I'm Steve," greeted one of the approaching men. The guy next to Steve turned off and murmured something to the man in the jacket and they both stepped into the alley.

"And I'm Thor," greeted the large man.

Wait …

"Thor?" Izzy repeated, feeling dazed from the still swirling churn of fear.

"Yes," the man grinned a broad smile that flashed in the dim light.

"And … Steve? You're not Steve Rogers, are you?" That could not be right. Not even a little bit. But the big guy was both really big and he had long hair and she'd seen plenty of pictures of Thor. And maybe Steve Rogers looked like, you know, Steve Rogers, but it was still kind of dark by the alley and hard to see clearly. Also her eyes were still kind of squinted. The city could really put a freaking light near the alley. Who designed this lighting? That was terrible and dangerous. She was sending somebody a scathing email when she got home; which, thank God, it looked like she actually would.

"I am," he said gently. Then he waved a hand at the other two who had reappeared form the alley. "And this is—"

"Clint," said the guy in the jacket. Then he thumped the back of his hand on the last man's shoulder and said, "Vasily."

"Stop calling me that," the last guy growled. He looked over at Izzy and hesitated a moment before he muttered, "James."

"Okay," Izzy said. She had no idea who Clint and James were supposed to be, but Captain America and Thor were enough to assure her that she was probably safe.

The fear and adrenaline started to drain, leaving her feeling shaky and a giving her a strange, hollow queasiness in the pit of her stomach.

She would NOT throw up in front of Captain America. She wouldn't do it. Mia would never, ever let her live that down. Actually, she wouldn't be telling Mia about 90% of this story, but her daughter would love to hear that Izzy met the Avengers. Or, two of them at least. Or maybe four? One of them could be the guy with the arrows, maybe the blond in the black jacket? Nobody ever got a good look at Hawkeye without his bow, so who could say? And the other guy, long, dark hair to below his chin, didn't look like Tony Stark for sure, and it's not like Tony Stark would introduce himself as James. So … Hulk? What did Hulk look like when he wasn't green? Did anybody know? Except Hulk didn't have long hair. Except, Hulk was also ginormous and green. And if he could turn big and green, maybe his hair changed length, too?

"Ma'am?"

Oh, Steve Rogers was talking to her while she was stuck in her weird post-terror Avengers spiral. "What? Sorry, I was … just trying to get my head together."

"We were wondering if you'd mind if we walked you home?"

"Uh," she hesitated. Yes, she would like four Avengers to walk her home. Duh. But, also, she was a confident woman with a can of pepper spray who wasn't afraid of the streets (except when she was, because somebody had to put a light on that alley and she would make sure it was done if she had to personally shout at every member of the neighborhood council). "It's not far. You don't have to. I appreciate you … uh, doing whatever it was you did? Was there a mugger? Because I thought— well, I thought I heard somebody but then it was just you? But …"

James and Clint cast quick looks into the alley and shrugged. Steve didn't turn around but his smile looked a little tight. Thor just grinned some more. There was totally a mugger. Though, the mugger was probably currently unconscious or tied up or something. Maybe both. Served him right.

"It's no bother," Thor said. "We were on our way home, as well. We can walk together, as friends."

"It's really fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Besides, don't you live in Manhattan?" Yes, yes, please good-looking Avengers, walk her home. Also, stop trying to tell them not to, mouth. God.

"Our friend," Thor gestured to James, "is opening a tavern in the area. We were walking back from … dinner?" He glanced at Steve, who nodded back. "Yes, dinner. We had hotdogs. And ice cream."

"But not together," Clint offered.

Thor nodded. "Because that would be disgusting."

"Right," Clint agreed, then he frowned. "Although…"

"There was the jalapeño ice cream," Thor murmured back at him.

"Mother of God," James muttered and rubbed at his face with a gloved hand.

Why did he have a glove on? It was like 80 degrees out. And only one glove at that. What was he? Michael Jackson? Oh, maybe that wasn't nice. Maybe he had a problem with his hand. And he was embarrassed by scars or something? Or if he was Hulk, maybe one arm was always green? Wow, Izzy, how insensitive.

Wait … he was opening a tavern in the area? Maybe there'd be jobs. It would be amazing to get a decent job closer to home. Actually, she'd love to move out of the area, because it was getting more and more expensive every day, but her apartment was rent controlled and they'd have to cart out her rotting corpse before she gave that up — aside from their daughter, it was the only good thing her ex-husband The Bum ever gave her before he ditched them to go 'find himself' in Jersey. Plus, Mia's school was close and it was a good one. But, anyway …

"Well, thank you again, but I need to get home," Izzy said, and gave them a wave as she turned to head back up the street.

Steve and Thor fell in beside her. She couldn't bring herself to try to shoo them off again. Besides, AVENGERS! The other two walked behind them.

"You know, I think your bar needs a theme," Clint said.

"What do you mean?"

"Something to get people in the door," Clint explained. "Hey! You know what's due to come back? Tiki bars!"

"What's a tiki bar?" James asked sounding like he didn't want to ask but couldn't stop himself from asking.

"They're awesome. I'll show you."

Izzy had some big doubts about the long-term appeal of a tiki bar. The novelty would turn to tacky really quick. And were they ever really 'in'? She glanced over her shoulder and saw them both on their phones.

James snorted a laugh and tilted his phone's screen towards Clint so he could read it. "Darcy says, 'tell Clint to shut up.' Shut up, Clint."

Clint glowered and shoved his phone back in his pocket; there would be no tiki bar. "Darcy's no fun. She used to be fun, but then she started hanging out with you and her fun level cratered."

"You could have Thursday specials," Thor suggested brightly. "I'll bring you a few casks of Asgardian ales. There are several I think you'll like, though you'll have to mix them with something else. They're far too strong for you mortals. But there are no finer brews in any realm." Thor looked at Izzy and winked. "Thursday is named after me, you know. Thor's day."

That was so weird. She knew he was Thor, but somehow it didn't hit her that he was THE Thor. Or, she knew that, but it wasn't real until he said that, and that mean that he was like hundreds of years old. Or thousands? So weird. "I … remember that from school, I think."

Thor chuckled, mostly to himself. "Ah, Midgard. I love this place."

"Uh, where is the bar going to be?" Izzy asked, changing the subject to one her brain could actually wrap itself around.

Clint waved a hand towards the other side of the street. "You know that big hole in the ground on Havermayer?"

"By the bridge, yeah. Oh, there?" That was disappointing, it was a hole in the ground, and holes in the ground weren't anywhere near being a bar. Plus, Izzy didn't work construction. Well, not yet. If the pay was good, she just might. Also, if they'd hire her without her having any experience. But, she was a hard worker and she'd learn. She could sling concrete. Maybe. She was a hair under 5'1", but that couldn't be disqualifying, could it?

James looked reluctant to talk in general, but he nodded and shrugged at the same time like he was talking and trying to be uninterested at the same time. He wasn't rude or anything, just not very present. "The building on the corner."

"Where the Rosebud Family Restaurant used to be," Izzy said, feeling relieved. Not the hole in the ground! Then she scrunched up her nose and made a 'blah' face. "That place was terrible. I don't know how it lasted so long, it was open thirty years. I think I found cigarette ashes in my hashbrowns once."

"Gross," Cling said with a laugh.

Even James chuckled a little. "We won't serve hashbrowns."

This caught Clint's attention again and he asked, "What will you serve? You know what I miss?"

"I don't care what you miss," James said in a flat voice as he glanced away, his eyes scanning the street restlessly. Looking for trouble? Or looking to escape?

"Bratwurst," Clint said, ignoring him. "The hotdogs tonight reminded me. They were okay, but nobody does good brats here. You'd think maybe somebody would, but no. It's a Goddamned crime."

James pursed his lips and looked up at the sky and Izzy couldn't tell if he was thinking about it, or thinking about strangling Clint. "Maybe."

"I know a place in Iowa," Clint pressed, as if he sensed weakness and was going to take advantage. "They sell all sorts of sausage. German family, they've been making them for like a hundred something years. I worked in their warehouse over one winter when I was a kid. I got paid in liverwurst. Awesome job."

"Remember Mr. Sawicki with the hotdog cart, Buck?" Steve asked with a wistful sort of laugh. "He had the best franks in the city, I haven't found any that taste as good."

"I remember," James said quietly. He glanced at Clint, who gave him a triumphant little smirk.

"My guy does awesome frankfurters," Clint confirmed.

With a sigh, giving in, James nodded. "Give Darcy the number."

"My daughter would eat hotdogs for every meal if I let her," Izzy said, chatting with her new Avengers friends, as one does. Friends who were opening a bar and maybe she'd get a job. No! She wasn't going to try to leverage getting nearly mugged into a job. But, they did bring it up.

Steve's face brightened. "You've got a daughter? How old?"

"Eight," Izzy said smiling back. "And if you stick those hotdogs in a disgusting cornbread mess and fry it, you'll have her loyalty forever."

"I love corndogs," Clint said. Izzy didn't know any of them really, but somehow the idea that Clint — or Hawkeye, if that's who we was — loved corndogs didn't surprise her one bit. "We had some good ones back in the circus. Well, if Cookie remembered to change the oil. Sometimes he didn't for a few days." Clint grimaced and looked away.

The circus?

"It'll be a while," James said, looking thoughtfully across the street. "We just got the place last week. Now we've got to gut it. But Darcy wants to strip the brick off the whole building."

Steve nodded. "It's not that bad, but it doesn't fit."

"Not bad?" Clint echoed, his face twisted in disbelief. "It's horrible. The worst of the 70s. You guys are lucky you missed the 70s. I mostly missed them, but I saw the reruns. That was enough."

Izzy knew the building, it was dingy yellow brick and it looked like a horrible, soulless, government box. It was big and yellow and definitely didn't fit with some of the older brick in the neighborhood. "How do you strip brick?" She asked. "Sand blast it?"

James shook his head. "I guess they have to take this off all the way down to the framing."

"That's a lot," Izzy murmured. It would be a looooong time before that bar opened.

"We'll start in a couple days," James told her. "But, yeah, there's a lot to do. Probably won't open until the first of next year."

Izzy tried not to pout, and then started thinking about transitioning into construction work again. Being able to walk to work would be a dream come true.

Steve hummed quietly and gave the other man a sympathetic glance. "Kind of rotten timing — starting up just when Darcy's going out of town."

James ran his hand over his face and sighed. "Fur— uh, Nick will be onsite supervising, at least at the start."

"Nick?" Thor asked. "As in …" he covered one eye with his hand and gave James a leading look. "I thought he was dead."

James dropped his head and looked uncomfortable and ashamed, and like he wanted to go back and hide in the alley with the mugger.

Izzy frowned. Except, maybe she didn't want to know. There was drama and then there was probably Godly and Avengers-level drama that she was maybe better off not knowing about. She was curious, it would make for damned fine gossip, but also, might get her black-bagged and tossed in a secret prison somewhere. She had a daughter who needed her. Curiosity wasn't worth the risk.

Clint jumped in and gave them all a sharp look, before quickly sliding his eyes to Izzy and then back to Thor. "You're thinking of our other friend Nick."

"Oh," Thor said and then he seemed to clue into what they were talking about. Good for him; Izzy was lost. "Our other friend Nick. Unlike this Nick, who is not dead. Nick … Hair … son. Yes, Nick Hairson. Harrison. Such a … magnificent head of hair. Not as magnificent as my own, of course, but very nice."

They were crossing under a streetlight, but it was still not exactly day time bright, so Izzy couldn't be sure, but it looked like a little bit of Thor himself died inside when he said all that. The Avengers were horrible liars. Which, she supposed, is what you'd hope for from heroes and role models. And, as a regular person, it was nice to know that even the Avengers could be really bad at something. It balanced the universe.

Izzy saw the lights over her building's front entrance and let out a slow, quiet breath. She made it. With help, but she made it. This long, horrible day that almost went so much worse, but somehow ended up just kind of strange, was almost over. She still had to do laundry, which sucked, and pay the babysitter, which also kind of sucked. But, she made it home safely.

"This is me," she said, waving towards the front doors. "Thank you for walking with me. I appreciate it."

"Of course," Steve said, sticking his hand out for her to shake. "I'm sorry, I don't think we ever asked for your name."

"Izzy Taveres."

"It was nice meeting you, Ms. Taveres."

Steve gave her hand a friendly shake, and then Thor was next, wrapping his giant paw around her little hand. She felt like a toddler next to him. Good lord, he was huge.

"A pleasure, miss."

"Oh, hey," Steve said, as she was now shaking Clint's hand. "What's your daughter's name? I've got something for her." And he pulled a trading card out of his wallet. She saw the Avengers 'A' and his picture in uniform.

James made a sound like a stifled laugh. "You carry around Captain America cards?"

Steve firmed up his jaw and gave the other man a flat look. "Sometimes there's kids."

"Her name's Mia," Izzy said and, okay, today mostly sucked, but the look on Mia's face when she gave her the card would be worth it all. The kid was going to light up like a Christmas tree. It was very thoughtful of him to carry them around, James. Don't be a jerk. Which she, of course, didn't say out loud; she was still hoping for that job.

Steve nodded and took a pen out of his jacket and carefully wrote 'To My Friend Mia' and then his name across the card.

"Now me," said Thor, taking the card and signing his own name. Next he handed it to Clint, who signed it 'Hawkeye' with an arrow as the crossbar on the "H".

James waved his hand, "I'm not one of you jokers." Ah, okay, he wasn't the Hulk. James also didn't shake Izzy's hand, and he hung back away from them a bit, part of the group but also still a little uncomfortable about it. He didn't ignore her, though, and he dipped his head at her in a little bow and offered a little smile. "Ma'am."

Izzy carefully took the card from Clint and waved it in the air to dry the ink so it wouldn't smear. "Well, thanks again guys. Mia will love this."

"Sure thing," Steve said. "Have a nice evening."

There were a trio of additional goodbyes and then the four men started back down the street. Thor's laughter echoed against the buildings and at one point James shoved Clint into the street and Steve yanked him back onto the sidewalk.

Taking out her keys, Izzy unlocked the security door, and trudged up the stairs, her exhaustion on hold as she planned out the carefully edited, but still exciting story she'd tell about how Mom Met the Avengers.

Izzy looked down at the card in her hand and laughed. The Avengers. What a crazy night.

#my fic #fic bit #the hodgepodge #a boy's night extra #i'll polish and put it in the hodgepodge later #Anonymous

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