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dotster001 · 6 months

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For Tuna:Blackmail End

A/N: for those who asked if I was still doing endings to "for tuna"....yes. I know it's been a while, but I'm slow and have depression! I'm sorry 😭

Part One Part Two Part Three Choose another ending

"Congratulations Leona! Don't blow this."

"It's dishonorable," Jack muttered as he listened to Grim and Leona outside the door.

"Heh, yeah," Ruggie said, not really listening.

So you were going to end up with Leona, huh? He had his suspicions, Leona had to be one of the wealthier students at this school, but it didn't make the sting any less.

Grim was smart. Whatever story he would spin, you'd no doubt fall for.

"I gotta go," Ruggie muttered, walking away from the door.

"Ruggie," Jack called after him, but he didn't want to listen to what the goody two shoes freshman had to say.

He needed to clear his head. He'd never have been able to be with you. He didn't deserve you, and even if he did, he couldn't support you. Not when he was already supporting his granny, and all the kids in his area. You certainly were also capable of working and helping to support him and his family, but legally, you didn't exist in this world. It would be hard.

Especially if Leona rescinded his invitation to continue working for him after graduation. Which he would, if Ruggie "stole you".

Ruggie realized he had wandered himself over to the courtyard. He sat under a tree, leaning back with a groan. He rubbed his tired eyes, trying to get the image of you on Leona's arm out of his head.

"Ruggie!"

Man, he must be hallucinating. You were burned in his mind, and in his ears, apparently.

He felt someone standing in front of him, and cracked open an eye. You were smiling at him excitedly.

"Can't you see I'm trying to rest?" He snickered.

You rolled your eyes. "You hang out way too often with Leona."

"Well he is my esteemed employer," he laughed. His eyes flicked over to your hands. "Whatcha got there?"

"Oh! They're dandelions. Before you come at me, they're seeding, it's too late to eat them."

"Then why are you holding them? And so gently, may I add."

You gently, slowly, handed him a seeding dandelion. Then you sat down next to him.

"Blow on it. Make a wish."

"Huh?"

"Just trust me! This is one of the only ways we can do magic where I come from!"

He sighed, but you looked so earnest. So he made a silent wish, and blew on the dandelion, just as you did the same.

"So what did you wish for?" You asked sweetly. He opened his mouth, but you grinned wickedly. "Just kidding! You can't tell me, or it won't come true!"

He rolled his eyes. "That's not how magic works. Besides, my wish is never going to come true anyway."

"Not with that attitude!"

"Not with any attitude. It isn't going to happen."

He leaned against the tree again. You sat quietly, scrutinizing him.

"Well, I wished for a man."

Ruggie snorted at your abrupt change in attitude.

"Any particular man? Remember, if you tell me it won't come true. Shi hi hi."

"Oh hush," you snorted. "Let's see, he's kind."

So not Leona, Ruggie thought with an internal, evil snicker.

"Someone who'd help me fix the dorm, even if he's already super busy. Someone who goes out for a snack, and comes back with a dessert that tastes like sardines. Someone who accidentally started my cat son on a pointless quest to find me a wealthy bachelor so that he can earn mine and Grim's love with tuna."

Ruggie blinked a couple times, slowly mulling over the clear description of himself.

"Huh."

"Yeah. Huh. Still not a wish that's gonna come true?"

He bit his lip, looking off into the distance.

"It can't come true," he tried to sound calm, but he couldn't ignore the bitter tint to his words.

You stiffened. "Oh. Any particular reason why?"

"I can't support you, Y/N. You deserve the world. And I can't give it to you."

"Well, you're thinking super far ahead. I won't even graduate until a year after you. Plus, I don't need supported. I'm a big kid. I can work."

"You deserve the world," he repeated, looking over at you with palpable heartbreak in his eyes. "And my one chance to give it to you will go away once we're together."

"Dude, you're completely losing me. What the fuck are you on about?" You raised a brow.

"Leona offered me basically a lifetime gig with him after graduation. But he's as in love with you as I am. And he's not exactly the most reasonable dude on the planet."

"So you love me too?"

He rolled his eyes. "That's what you got from that? Of course I love you! I wouldn't fix your shoddy building for free, now would I? I'm not that good a person."

"Sure you are," you said softly as you pushed a stray piece of hair off his face.

"You're missing the point! Leona-"

"The Ruggie I know wouldn't be worried about the jealous anger of a kitty cat who isn't even dating me," you said sternly, and his mouth snapped shut. Logically, you were right. But-

"The Ruggie I know, would join me as I take a trip to Savannahclaw with the intention of blackmailing his ridiculously wealthy housewarden, so he can keep his job and date his true love."

He couldn't even remember the trip, or how it got to this specific point, but damn, were you sexy snapping at Leona about this.

"And another thing!"

"Sevens, shut up, herbivore. You're hurting my head," Leona groaned tiredly. "And my heart. Do you really think I'm this cruel?"

"Huh?" You seemed just as startled as Ruggie felt.

"Sevens, you clearly love the guy. Just cause I'd definitely treat you better, doesn't mean that I'm an ass who would punish Ruggie if you both feel the same way about each other."

He gave a pointed glare at Ruggie. "Does he feel the same way about you?"

Ruggie nodded quickly.

"There. I'm not a monster. You're a good worker, it'd be stupid to lose you over something like this. Just be careful," Leona snickered, and leaned in close, his eyes predatory, his smile smug, "you slip up, I'm going to be right there."

"Fair enough, shi hi hi," Ruggie extended a hand to Leona, the both of them participating in a handshake.

"Sevens, you two are so difficult to understand," you muttered. Ruggie turned towards you with a grin.

"Now that I have my future secured, you wanna know my wish?"

"What was it?" You asked, clearly having a guess.

He stepped close to you, nuzzling his nose against yours. "You promise it'll come true?"

You hummed.

"I wished for a box of a dozen donuts."

You turned on your heel, stalking away, and he laughed after you. "Obviously I wished for you!"

"Whatever, Ruggie."

He chased after you gleefully, for once looking forward to the future.

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic @supertmntgirl @cxsmicdustdreams @aethermostbeloved @krystalkiller25 @asmallbean3 @theneurodivergentdummy @candlewitch-cryptic @smilingfox22-blog @phantomgaming1920 @the-dumber-scaramouche @noidonothavetimeforthis @bontensbabygirl @xxoomiii @somany-fandoms-solittle-time @bre99 @stupidsimp @sus0daddy @a-small-tyrant @imlost-sendhelp @mizukiblogs @neech @kazumify @owlisbuffering

#for tuna #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie #ruggie x reader #ruggie bucchi

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carmyboobear · 1 month

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Idk if you've written this but can you write about carmy and the reader arguing and he makes her cry? Idk I just feel like thatd be good angst fluff lol

AHH I got carried away as per usual. anyway this is good stuff. wrote a bunch. enjoy!!

word count: 1.3k

tags: traumatized carmy, mentally ill carmy and reader, arguing, language, HURT/COMFORT, ANGST/FLUFF, carmy being a sweetie

Hm…i'm spending a lot of time thinking about the set-up for this. Carmy is a very careful person when it comes to those he’s romantically involved in, but at the same time, he has a hard time controlling his temper when he's in the darkness, as i'll put it.

here's something awful i think about that i wanna write about. carmy's stressed about work, because of course he is. he's carmy. his head is whirring, spinning with anxiety and self-hatred. i think you're just like him. mentally ill for mentally ill if you will. you're also in a bad mood, and he comes home from The Bear exhausted and keyed up.

“I hate when you push me away like this,” you admit. You've been trying to get him to talk to you since he's been home. Maybe he just needs space, but separation makes you anxious. Especially when he shuts down.

“I'm sorry that it's so hard for you,” he spits, finally snapping and turning to face you. You've followed him into the dark bedroom, lit only by the harsh moonlight through the window. You flinch. You never quite get used to seeing him like this.

“I—I just—“ you feel pressure beginning in the back of your eyes. You will it away. “How can I help you if you don’t talk to me?”

“Why do you care so much? Does it make you feel better to take care of someone more fucked up than you?” He snaps, voice raised. His words go down bitter, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. Something in you shatters.

“How could you ask me that?” Your vision’s gone hot and blurry. “I’m your partner. I love you, that’s why I care, you asshole!” You’re stifling sobs. You hate crying in fights like this, but it hurts. You can’t help it.

“Fuck,” Carmy mutters under his breath. He’s gone still in your blurred vision. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—“

“That was so fucked up, Carmy.” You move to sit on the bed, trying to wipe your tears away, but they keep coming. “What’s your problem?”

“You know what my problem is.” His remorse has swept away the anger, leaving him quiet before you. He leans down at your knees, hands on your thighs. “I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that.”

“You shouldn’t have.” Carmy nods quickly, and he raises a hand to your wet cheeks. “Fuckin’ asshole.”

“I know.” He takes your pain, your anger in its entirety. His other hand brings your knuckles to his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.“

“Sure sounded like you meant it.” Anger flares up in your chest, hurt and betrayed, but you tamp it down, leaning into his hand cradling his face. You take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Damnit, Carmy.”

“I know. I know.” He’s still kissing your hand. “You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.” You hate it when he talks like this, because you can tell he really believes it.

“Don’t say that. Please.”

“But it’s true.” You look down at him in the moonlight, at his sad blue eyes. “I always find ways to hurt you. I…”

“That’s what being in a relationship is, Carm.” You pat the space next to you. “Sit with me?”

“I keep having to remind myself of that.” He sinks into the bed next to you. “I’m so sorry for talking about you like that. Like you’re only doing this out of…I don’t know. Obligation.” He drags a hand across his tired face. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry. I just, I just think that—that I’m—fuck—“

“Slow down, Carm,” you say quietly. “It’s okay. You don’t need to force it. I’m listening.” He smiles bitterly at you, and you recognize the love in it easily. He takes in a deep breath before continuing.

“I still have a hard time believing that anyone cares about me. I can’t even believe that you—love me.” You can practically see the shame rolling off of him in waves. “And it makes me scared.”

“Love is scary, isn’t it?” You say softly. He just nods. “It scares me, too. That’s why I kept pestering you when you got home. I…” You blink quickly. You don’t wanna cry again. “It scares me when I don’t know what you’re thinking. Because…I dunno. It just does.”

“Yeah?” You nod. He has this thoughtful expression that he holds for a moment as he stews on your words. “I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry. I think…I think when you kept asking me if I was okay, it…” he sighs, scratches at his temples. “I felt like I was…getting back into a corner. I think.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” You take his hand in yours. “I can see how that must’ve felt really bad.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault that I’m like this. I think—I think it just reminded me of my mom. We would always ask her if she was okay, because she’s fucking crazy, yknow? We didn’t wanna step on her toes. But it turns out we did anyway. And the way I acted just now, I was just like…” He can’t even get the words out. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, voice choked with emotion. “I love you. So much. You know that, right?”

“You tell me everyday. How could I not?” You pull him into a hug, tight and warm, and he instantly wraps his arms around you. “You’re not your mom, Carm. You're nothing like her. Okay?”

“I don’t wanna be like her,” he whispers. “I don’t wanna be like her.”

“You’re not,” you remind him softly. “And you won’t be.”

Carmy leans back to look at you, but he remains close. His expression is knotted with pain. You run your thumb over his furrowed brow, and it makes his mouth curve upwards in a smile. It’s fleeting, but it was there.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I’ll try to open up more. Let you know what I’m thinking.”

Suddenly, you think about when you first started dating Carmy. He was so scared to open up to you emotionally, but with gentle prodding, he fell apart instantly. There was a hunger in him to be known by others, to be seen by you, and it scared him to death. You see that same fear in him now, but you also see how much he’s grown since then. You doubt you would’ve been able to have this conversation at all in the first couple months.

That makes you happy in a way you’re not quite able to word properly.

“Thank you. But I hope you also know I don’t want to force you. I just wanna help. And…” You measure your words carefully. “I’ll try not to let it freak me out so much. Because if you’re not in the mood to talk, I want you to know that’s okay. Okay?”

“Okay. I’d like that. If I don’t want to talk, I’ll just tell you. Instead of…blowing a fuse.” He laughs dryly.

“I’d like that too.” You let out an exhale of relief you didn’t realize you were holding. “Wow, Carm. Look at us. Communicating!”

“I know.” That makes him laugh for real this time, and you’re laughing too. “I couldn’t do it without you.”

“I think you could. But I certainly like doing it with you.” His smiles grows wider at that, brimming with affection.

“Let me make this up to you, baby.” He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and deep. You let out a little noise when his lips meet yours.

“Make it up to me?” Carmy’s tongue is on your neck now. Oh. “Aren’t you tired? You—you have work tomorrow—?”

“Don’t care.” You fall back onto the bed, and the blankets deflate under you. You stare up at Carmy, his curls hanging by his face. “You’re more important.”

“Well, if you insist…” You giggle, and your giggles get louder when Carmy pulls up your shirt to blow raspberries against your stomach. “Carmy, quit it—oh—!”

He makes it up to you in full and more by keeping his head between your legs for the rest of the night. By the end of it you can't remember what you were mad about in the first place.

#carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fanfiction #my blurbs #my asks #AHH.... started writing this thing this morning and then i got massively carried away. typical #anyway today was a carmy day for me (derogatory) so writing this felt pretty cathartic

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goldsbitch · 2 months

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Just don't talk------

-and let's go to sleep.

p8 to Just don't talk

summary: Enemies to lovers on steroids. Excuse me, feelings coming through. They just got lost.

Cuddles were a new thing for Y/N and Lando. But, unlike talking, they were really good at it.

After the race and their little moments in the driver's room, the pair parted ways, Lando went off to debrief with her team and Y/N excused herself from her meeting. She went of get a short walk to clear her head out.

Later, at an hour when it was almost ungodly to text someone, Lando asked her if she wanted to come over. Saying that he would like to spend a moment with her. This was the first time they'd spend some time together at his place and not at hers, albeit it was mostly rooms at the same hotels. After their last conversation, all the previous rules seemed to go out of the window. Unmarked territory. Civil communication. Who would have thought. She really tried not to be excited by that text. But her own tired mind was having a hard time following that order. Should she bring some things for her to stay over? Or was she suppose to go and get a coffee to battle her own tiredness in order to stay awake for him? Was it sex that he was after? Or something else. She craved his touch, but in a different way than usual. It was the soft caressing of his hands, subtle touches on the face and a light kiss on the forehad that she was after. It was a dangerous game. Seeing him so vulnerable opened door to strange feelings she buried down whenever she thought of him. At least until that evening.

It was hard for him to identify why he texted her. The last thing on him mind right now was sex or anything like that. He longed for the feeling he had when they hugged. Lando was a touchy person, words did not do the same for him as they would for most. Confusing, big and easy to get wrong. What the hell, he thought as he sent the text. Nothing bad could come out of it. There was a tingling in his fingertips he hadn't felt for months. And a strange level of excitement when he saw her text, asking for his hotel room.

This time, it was her standing in front the door, she would usually stay on the other side, waiting. This time, she had the power to knock only once she felt fit. She could not contain the little smile creeping onto her. It felt like shuffling the cards, playing a different game than usually.

He opened nearly immediately after she knocked, letting her in quickly in order to avoid any unnecessary witnesses. The room was dimly lit by a lamp on a nightstand and the smell of his cologne mixed with sweat hit her immediately. She was attracted by it like bees would be by a marmelade. He quickly kicked his shoes behind the door and as if he out of nowhere realized that she was coming, put few things like his bag out of the way, somehow feeling embaressed for having a messy room. Hers always seemed to be clean when he came around. Y/N knew that it wasn't the usual state and chuckled a bit when she saw him trying to tidy up quickly.

"Em, sorry, I'm just a bit out of myself," he mumbled sleepily. God, he was beyond cute, she thought. Trouble, trouble. She never saw him sleepy. Always just in and out - literally. She was walking into a trap of some sorts and knew it with every step she happily took.

"All good, no need to pretend, just be you," she said, without thinking too much into it. He looked at her, surprised. When she saw his look, she second guessed her own sentence. Was it too much? "You're already the worst person in my mind anyway, you can hardly go lower," she said to ease the mood. This is how they'd talk a week ago. But the words left a bitter taste on her tongue, not being exactly what she wanted to say.

"That's more like it," he said confidently.

This was wrong, Y/N thought. She will get hurt so badly. And yet, she still took the steps forward to his bed.

Cuddles were a new thing for Y/N and Lando. But when he embraced her, he couldn't stop himself from letting a loud sigh and a low "Fuck." It felt like they'd done this thousand times before. All so strangely familiar, unique and just right. There wasn't anything extra or standing out, they blended into each other as if they were always meant to do so.

She adjusted her breathing in order for them to synchronize - a perfect metaphor for what was happening there.

"So how was the debrief?" she asked, trying to avoid any subject connected to the two of them, worrying it might break the fragile unspoken bond.

"It was shit, as expected. A whole lot of "Not your fault, Lando, we'll be better next weekend" and bla bla bla.

"Yeah, that's fucked up," she responded.

"Like, do you think Max gets these kind of briefings? No, because unlike me, he does not fuck up."

She knew what he was talking about. The feeling of sharing a grid with someone perfect, someone who makes every one of your failures stand out.

"It's a cruel joke to be on the grid at the same time as Max. He is just built different. And that's hard to take in," she elaborated.

"Yeah, whatever. I know I can make it." Male ego was a serious topic in F1.

"One day we'll both be fighting for the podium and we'll see," she fantazised, trying to ease the tension.

"You're really brave, driving in F1, by the way. It really is stuck in the 1950's sometimes," he said something he wanted to express a long time ago.

It warmed her heart in a way like nothing he ever said before had. "Thank you for saying this."

He gently touched her on the upper arm when she shivered uncontrollably. "You good?" he asked, stopping immediately.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just really ticklish there."

Lando was surprised to find something new about her body. He thought he had it all figured out by now. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's also really weird feeling over there. I can't really describe it, but please avoid that place if you could."

"Noted, sweetie," he said and she melted even more. He had no idea.

Silence fell for few moments, Lando's eyes started slowly closing and sleep called for him.

"Why did you invite me to your room? You usually come over instead," she asked something that was on her mind this whole time. She took a leap of bravery, knowing that at every moment it could all blow up in her face.

"I dunno. Just felt like I wanted to do this differently tonight, you know?" he was struggling to put a right name on the feeling. "Would you like to stay over until the morning? I'm really enjoying the company of you body," he said sleepily and hugged her even tighter. His words burned her like a hot iron would. She did not understand, yet, that in Lando's vocabulary, that was the highest form of intimacy and compliment he could give. Her physical presence was making him calm, relaxed and he rarely felt so like himself these days. The way how she understood it, was that he only wanted her for her body, not the soul trapped inside. It is a different kind of lonely to feel when one is so close to someone else.

"Sure, I'll stay the night," she said, feeling like she surrendered everything she had for at least a taste of what could have been real.

He drifted to sleep quickly after that, while she stayed awake, unable to fall asleep, mind racing back and forth. He dreamed sleeping, she dreamed awake.

She wasn't there when he woke up, making him question whether her staying over actually happened. Was the feeling causing him headache disappointment? Then again, she might have saved them from a really awkward morning. Yesterday was a one time thing, nothing to set precedent over.

Awkward morning was exactly what she was trying to avoid. Maybe not awkward per say, but confused, mismatched and out of tune.

A crush. That's what she had. Of course she would. Thinking that one could just casually hook up with someone like Lando and not develop feelings was a foolish thing to assume, she thought to herself, cursing in the elevator and hitting the buttons with a little too much force than needed. Not much sleep was gathered that night for her. She kept tracing the lines of his chest, breathing his scent in and letting her imagination run wild. It was such a nice daydream to get lost in. Him being in love with her. The two of them, facing this strange world they shared, together. She felt understood, yet also the loneliest she'd ever felt in her life before. Mindlessly completing the simple tasks she had at hand, still loosing herself in the idea that the next night she was going to be spent again in his arms. She imagined the morning light hitting him and receiving a cheeky morning kiss while they shared a coffee cup before hitting up the gym. Together, as a couple. And their sessions interrupted by unhealthy amount of flirting and ending up in a whole different kind of cardio session.

She wondered when had her hatred made an u-turn.

There was a lot of silence in her day so far. Yet the one thing she wanted to do was talk. Suger-coat Lando to the moon and back, accidentally convince someone to convincing her into pursuing this further. It was like floating due to butterflies and being dragged down by a huge rock at the same time.

She sat at the lounge for charter flights, watching the big planes leave one by one. Her flight partner, Lewis, noticed how weirdly she was acting today and decided to find out why.

"Y/N?"

She twitched, surprised someone actually said her name. "Yes?"

"What's up? You seem...Not sure, if that's ok to say, but you look a little off," he said in his typically polite tone.

She debated whether to spill her beans about a stupid crush to a multi-year world champion. They were friends, in a mentor-student sort of vibe. But not even remotely close for that. But fuck it, it was either this or calling her mom, which she feared more quite frankly.

With a big sign, she started to confide in. "There's this guy..."

Lewis laughed a bit. "Ah, how human. I was afraid it's something racing related."

"I wish. Then I could talk about it more openly."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I guess so. Nobody really knows."

He careful thought out his question before continuing. "Is it someone from the paddock?"

She nodded. "Worse."

His eyes grew wide. "A driver??"

She nodded once again. "Yep."

It was Lewis now, who was distracting himself with the airplanes.

"We sacrifice a lot, us drivers, in order to make our dreams possible. I had my own love affair around the paddock, one of the female engineers," he started to reminisce, smiling. "But had to end it. The life-style was just too different back then. It was a distraction."

"Do you ever regret that?"

"Sometimes...mostly when I see her children. Could have been us, you know? But in the end, no I don't. You see, you and me, we have something in common."

"I know. The resposibility."

"Exactly. You're paving the way for future female drivers. You have twice as harder then the other drivers."

"I am getting really tired of that, you know? Why do I need to act with a responsibility of a whole gender?"

"Ultimately, you don't. But in a way, it's about what kind of a story you want people telling about you in the years to come."

She couldn't give two fucks about what people thought. Not anymore. She exhausted herself so much with these thoughts in the past.

"It's my life. I can't give it away to become a slave of the option of random people."

"That is a wise point of view. I mean, maybe it's true, look at the Wolffs. Slaying, as your generation would put it today."

She laughed. "Yes...slaying."

"But it took a lot of work from both parts. I remember that. I guess the question to ask is - are you both ready for that kind of a work?"

part 9

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@scopeiguess @leclercsluv @sulliamour @starmanv @riverxsq @eviethetheatrefreak

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ivystoryweaver · 4 months

Text

Fairytale of New York

Summary: A tired, pathetic puppy wanders into your diner on Christmas Eve. Things...escalate.

Pairing: Llewyn Davis from Inside Llewyn Davis x f!reader who wants what she wants

Word Count: 2.2k

Content: nsfw, mdni, language, mentions of past mistreatment, talk of contraception, gun but no violence, oral -f and m rec., not beta'd

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Bone-weary.

Your grandmother used to say it.

The man in front of you looked deep-in-his-bones, forlornly, kicked-puppy exhausted.

Which was a feat in and of itself, seeing how you were surrounded this evening by hungry, homeless people, and he was definitely the most handsome one by far.

Chocolate curls tumbled effortlessly across his forehead. His dark beard was kempt - not the fuzzy, matted mess of the men around him.

At first glance, you wondered if he was here to order a regular meal or volunteer. He almost looked put-together enough.

But he sighed - a bone-weary, defeated, groaning sigh.

"Cold night," you commented, noticing how he struggled to create even the tiniest spark of warmth from his corduroy blazer and wool scarf. He seemed to try and make himself smaller, as if willing the too-thin layers of fabric to truly envelop him.

"No shit," he fired back, clenching his fingerless glove around the handle of his guitar case. Noticing your look of slight amusement, he sighed, tiredly. "Sorry. Long night. Wondering if I could get some coffee?"

"Sure thing," you nodded past him to an empty two-top, offering him a warm smile.

Your boss Sal was a hard ass with a heart of gold. On Christmas Eve, anyone could eat free from ten to midnight at this fine dining establishment where you earned your measly paycheck.

You were living the dream - serving diner tables. But Sal was good to you and the other guys and gals you called coworkers - granting holiday bonuses and sometimes, you could swear he beefed up your tips at the end of the night. Just a couple dollars here or there, but it helped.

You returned to the pathetic puppy of a man with a fresh, hot cup of coffee. "Want something to eat? Everything's on the house tonight."

One eyebrow shot up curiously. "Free? You're serious."

"It's Christmas Eve," you said mysteriously, wiggling your fingers as if casting a spell. "Sal's got a soft spot for people who need a hot meal and got nowhere to go."

Kicked Puppy nodded, his eyes momentarily flickering up and down your body.

"So, what'll it be, handsome? You want something to warm you up besides that coffee? Or do you have a pressing holiday engagement?"

Narrowing his tired, dark eyes, he looked like he was trying to come up with a clever reply, but ultimately let out a defeated, bitter-ish chuckle. "Got friends, but...every one of them's pissed at me. On my own tonight."

He shrugged helplessly. "I guess I'm kind of an asshole sometimes."

Wagging your finger, you went along with him, playfully. "I could tell that about you, right when you walked in. I took one look and thought, 'that guy is definitely an asshole. Probably shouldn't serve him.'"

He almost chuckled, but it was a weak laugh at best.

"Bowl of chili sound good? Or...I have chicken noodle, or a hamburger. Not much left in the kitchen," you offered.

A few minutes later, Mr. Handsome Kicked Puppy sipped his bowl of chili while you finished up with your other customers. A few of the homeless guys liked to flirt with you, but they were pretty harmless.

Everyone knew not to cross Sal and his employees anyway.

You noticed Kicked Puppy's gaze fixed on you, so you made your way back over and checked to see if he needed a refill.

"I'm good," he waved you off, but something made you linger. Probably the fact that he was kind of beautiful.

"You a singer?" You prodded, nodding to his guitar case.

He made a face - seemed to be a sore spot for him, but concurred. "Sang across the street tonight. You ever been?"

Peering out the window, you read the club's neon sign. "No, but I always wanted to. What kind of music?"

"The only kind," he shrugged.

You motioned to the spot across from him. "Mind if I sit a minute? Feet are killing me. Promise I won't ask you to sing."

He leaned back, folding his arms over his chest, eyeing you curiously. "Oh, you won't?"

"'Course not," you smiled, waving your hand dismissively. "Everyone knows musicians hate that. It's like...your living. You can't just sing for free."

His eyebrows shot up as he leaned in. "You're mocking me..."

"No," you laughed. "I'm serious. It would be like someone asking me to serve drinks at a party without paying me." You motioned around you. "Not much of a career but I should still get paid for it."

"Thank you." He gestured animatedly. "My...friends - some of the people who usually let me crash - always try to parade me out at dinner parties, like an attraction. Fucking annoying."

He paused for a moment. "Almost feel like I owe them sometimes, you know... Can't do it, though."

"You have your pride," you sympathetically reasoned. "That's fair enough."

You stood, reaching to collect his dirty dishes. "So, who's couch is it tonight if everyone's pissed at you?"

Running a gloved hand over his beard, he shook his head and shrugged. "What time do you close?"

"Midnight."

He slowly nodded.

"What's your name, singer?"

"Llewyn."

You smiled softly and introduced yourself. "You don't have anywhere to go after midnight, do you?"

He shook his head as his gaze dropped.

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12:24 A.M. - Christmas

"Can't believe you're letting a strange man sleep in your apartment," the handsome bone-weary puppy voiced as you turned the key in your deadbolt.

"You're not a stranger anymore, Llewyn," you replied, trying to find just the right way to wiggle your key... "Got it! Damn thing sticks all the time."

Shouldering your way inside, you tossed your bag on the tiniest kitchen bar in existence, motioning for him to come on in.

"Like I told you - it's not much. You might be warmer sleeping in a car, but the love seat will keep you off this frigid, hard floor. And the water's warm, since we're over the diner. Sal's my landlord too. He keeps everything running nice enough. Cheap ass on heat though."

"No, I really appreciate it," he gratefully returned, “especially on Christmas. You sure I'm not interrupting anything?"

"No..." You let out a wistful sigh. "No, I don't have anyone." You smirked at him playfully. "But I do own a revolver if you're having any weird ideas."

"Holy shit," he whistled. "Glad you take care of yourself, I guess."

Llewyn reveled in your attention and care over the next half hour. You made a batch of hot cocoa while he took the warmest shower he'd had in weeks. You turned on a Christmas record and found a couple of thick blankets for him to sleep (or attempt to sleep) cramped up on the love seat.

"Thank you for this," he quietly voiced, sipping his cocoa, his eyes drooping with exhaustion. "Don't deserve it. If you knew me, you'd push me right back out that door."

"Maybe," you shrugged, sipping your own warm beverage as you curled up in the only chair in the place. "But it's Christmas. Even assholes and loners need a break sometimes."

He regarded you with interest, his eyes raking over your form for the millionth time. "That what you are? A loner?"

You hid behind the ceramic of your mug for a moment of reprieve. "Have to be. What else is there for a woman who doesn't want a marriage and kids?"

You shuddered, remembering how many times your ex had sabotaged your efforts at contraception...and how violent he'd become when he found out you were actively trying to not get pregnant.

Hence the waitress job, freezing apartment...and the revolver.

"You don't want kids?" He asked, clearing his throat. Maybe you were somehow...perfect.

"I really don't. You’d think women would have a few more options now that it’s the ‘60s. So I got my revolver to make sure my ex stays away. He’s a bigger asshole than the two of us," you answered, transparently. Noticing how his dark eyes widened at your candor, you laughed.

"Scared yet?"

"No," he chuckled. "But I guess that answers the question of whether or not we're gonna fuck."

Smirking, you took one more sip of cocoa before pushing off your chair to kneel down in front of him. Your eyes met his challengingly as you spread your palms over his thighs, pushing them up to his hips.

"That why you're an asshole?" You challenged, reaching for the zipper of his trousers. "Can't be bothered to wear a condom?"

"Can't afford that shit," he fired back, enjoying the view down your t-shirt.

"Definitely an asshole," you shake your head, dragging his zipper down and tracing your fingertips over the outline of his hardening length with your fingertips.

"My pussy's off limits unless you want my revolver shoved up your ass," you inform, leaning over to suck on his leaking tip through the fabric of his underwear. "But fuck it. It's Christmas. You can come in my mouth."

"Fucking hell," he groaned at your forwardness, shifting his hips to give you easier access to pull his cock free.

"Oh shit, you're big," you marveled, running the tip of your tongue over your lips in anticipation. Wrapping your hands around him, you turned your eyes up to his. "Merry Christmas. Don't say I never gave you anything."

You licked a stripe up the underside of his shaft before placing him on your flat tongue. Your eyes flickered back up to his tauntingly as you slowly wrapped your lips around him and swirled your tongue.

"Jes....oh fuck," he moaned, gripping the arm of the tiny couch.

Bobbing your head up and down a few times, you pushed yourself past the point of comfort and swallowed his tip. Your mouth stretched to take him, and the challenge of it made you instantly wet.

“Holy f-fuck,” he responded eagerly, “just like that.” You let him fuck your mouth, free hand gripping your jaw as his hips found a rhythm thrusting and gagging you.

Something about how pathetic this man was - how eager and responsive to your touch - it was doing it for you. You hadn’t done anything this spontaneous in a long time, but it felt good. And you certainly didn’t mind a heavy, hot cock in your mouth.

A few heavy thrusts and gags later and he coated your throat with his spend, letting out a near embarrassing whine as he came.

You let him soften before pulling off him and licking your lips clean. “Bet you’ll sleep well now.” You winked.

“Holy shit,” he gasped, shaking his head as you stood and started to shed your clothes. Remembering you were pretty clear about not fucking without a condom, he slowly stood, stuffing his soft cock back into his pants. “What are you…”

“I have a twin bed, but you’ll fit better than on that thing.” You nodded to the love seat, now standing in front of him completely nude. “But to sleep with me, you’re gonna need to return the favor. I’m fucking soaked.”

Minutes later, this rather beautiful, bearded man knelt between your legs in bed, his prominent nose nudging tauntingly at your puffy clit. His plush mouth sampled your pussy lips, as if he was making out with your cunt.

“F-fuck yes,” you groaned as he fucked his tongue into your hole, sucking and slurping at your juices.

Your fingers slid into the softest curls, twisting them around your fingers as you rocked your pelvis up to meet his soft beard.

The he started humming. And not just a humming sound but a fucking tune. After several delicious, deep thrusts of his tongue, he pulled out, making you whine at the loss of stimulation.

His hum gently morphed into a few lyrics as his eyes gazed up at you, equal parts cocky and pussy drunk - your slick coating his beard and lips.

‘Hang me, oh hang me…I’ll be dead and gone…’

He slid two fingers into your slick, warm hole, curling them with the dexterity of an instrumentalist. Then lowered his smirking mouth back down to trace circles around your clit with his tongue. Kept right on humming.

Laying his tongue flat, he laved your sensitive bundle of nerves with a few rough licks before wrapping those sexy lips around it and sucking.

He added a third finger - you were plenty wet enough for it and the slight stretch made your back arch off your twin bed. Fingers curling, lips sucking, and that insistent hum sent you right over the edge into earth-shattering bliss. Your body seized in mind-altering pleasure and then went completely white as you rode out the best orgasm you’d had in years.

He worked you through it before blatantly licking you clean and climbing his way up your body to cage you in. The look on his face told you he was definitely satisfied with himself, but the hot flesh of his cock prodding at your thigh meant he didn’t want this to be over.

"Is that my revolver or are you ready for more?" You teased, reaching to wrap you fingers around his cock. "Don't think I have any condoms big enough for all this."

He groaned, hips shifting into your grip. "Maybe we could just - "

"I'll will shoot you. Go the fuck to sleep, Llewyn."

And that's how an exhausted, pathetic puppy of a man, with soulful brown eyes, and the voice of an angel, ended up in your twin bed on Christmas Eve.

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

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whatwouldsylwrite · 11 months

Text

At least I got you in my head (4)

(3)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: Happy pride month, guys! I feel like I committed a hate crime with this chapter, so I'm sorry. It's also longer than previous chapters by 2k. And um, the "hate crime" part (not literal hate crime, just some angst) is rushed because I really didn't enjoy writing it :/

Black haired girl is Yoon Jiwoo from My Name, and she is a badass, if you want to see some female violence go watch some edits of her.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Caitlyn was again looking like a zombie, sipping her bitter coffee slowly. You were sitting in the coffee shop on the campus, and Caitlyn looked at you like a grumpy cat. Or a very pissed off cat.

Caitlyn wasn't happy you distracted her (saved from exhaustion) from her studies (staring at her paper for an hour). But you didn't care as long as she sat with you and decompressed with her disgusting bitter 3-shots-of-espresso coffee.

"You look like shit." You told Caitlyn and she glared at you. "You need to spend your weekend just sleeping for 30 hours. You can't do this to yourself."

"I'm fine." Caitlyn scoffed, but accepted the doughnut you slipped to her. "Thanks."

"I swear I will stay at your place for the weekend."

"I don't think you can be separated from Abby for so long, (y/n). Quite frankly, it makes me worried."

Oh god, Cait had her detective face on, like she was solving a puzzle right now, and it made you nervous.

"Why?"

"Well." Cait sipped her coffee. "You have the gay yearning in your eyes. Are you, perhaps, falling in love with her?"

"No." You cut sternly, surprising yourself. You didn't expect yourself to have such a strong reaction. "I'm not falling for a straight girl."

"Maybe falling was a strong word. You're crushing on her." The word crushing sounded so alien from Cait.

"It's manageable." You shrugged, not wanting to discuss your own weakness, but not wanting to lie to Caitlyn either. "I know I don't have a chance."

"This is quite upsetting." Caitlyn said and squeezed your hand. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't, I promise. I'm not stupid." You winked and drank your coffee. "Do you want to come to her fight on Friday?"

"I have to finish that paper." Caitlyn groaned. She noticed how you narrowed your eyes on her. "I swear, I won't study during the weekend. But if I push myself I can finish it."

"I'll be at your door at 12pm on Saturday. We will go outside, have a walk in the park, go to the bookshop or whatever nerdy place you want to visit. We both can use some downtime."

Caitlyn sighed but didn't protest.

"I'll text you when I go to sleep. Count 8 hours and then show up."

You nodded, proud of Caitlyn compromising on this topic. She didn't like "wasting time" but if you said it was for your benefit too she usually agreed. You trapped her in taking care of herself by thinking she was taking care of you, and it worked well.

"Ask Ellie to come with you to Abby's fight. I'm sure she is going to be there anyway."

"You're right." You smiled and took your phone out. You still had Ellie's number from months ago. "Have you talked to her?"

"Yes. We study together from time to time, and sometimes I invite her to play chess."

"Good. I'm happy you found your nerdmate." You smiled at Caitlyn and she smiled back. "Or is there something else?"

"No, we're friends. Not the kind you are with Abby." Cait looked pointedly at you. "I may be speculating, but I have a feeling she is not as straight as she thinks she is."

"Well, what do you want me to do? 'Hey, Abby, I know you're so deep in the closet you met fucking Aslan but how about you change your entire worldview because I have a crush on you that I totally can get over?'" You scrunched your nose, irritated at nothing in particular.

"Obviously not that." Caitlyn frowned like she usually did when she was stategising, as if she could find a way to get you and Abby together because she was just that smart. "Well, I think you should start dating again."

You shrugged and looked down at your phone.

to: Ellie Williams

Hi, it's (y/n)

Are you going to Abby's fight on Friday?

from: Ellie Williams

Yeah

Wanna go together?

to: Ellie Williams

Yes

from: Ellie Williams

cool

I'll meet you there

"I'm not going to use other people in order to get over Abby. I'm not fighting fire with fire." You said, continuing your conversation with Cait.

"You could use a distraction." Caitlyn shrugged in return.

"I'll just find someone to tutor."

"And I'm a workaholic with bad habits?" Cait muttered under her breath and bit down on her second doughnut.

Thursday nights were usually booked for the time to unwind for both of you: you'd come home late, tired and hungry after classes and lessons on campus, Abby would be already home, studying in the living room for her usual seminar on Friday, also tired.

Abby heard the keys as you opened the door and in a few minutes you appeared in the living room.

"Hi." Abby's chest tightened at your small, quiet voice and she looked at you.

"Hey." She said gently and panicked, not really understanding why. "You look like shit." Nice save, Anderson.

"I feel like shit." You shrugged and went to your room to take your change of clothes.

Abby took a deep breath, trying to get her panic under control - what was that? What, she wasn't allowed to be gentle with her friends anymore? What the fuck her brain was playing at? That was concerning. For some reason she kept creating excuses why it was okay to touch you, and that wasn't even the weird, selfish part. The weird part was - why did she even need to create excuses? She was touchy with her friends, and you were touchy too, it wasn't any different from her friendship with Ellie.

But somehow it was, and Abby was confused. She tried to act chill and normal around you, sometimes getting a little more sarcastic than usual. It didn't seem to bother you, but Abby got embarrassed every time she'd suddenly treat you a little rougher because she'd get this weird panic. Honestly, it was pissing her off - you were nice to her, gentle even, and she was acting like a school boy, tugging on your pigtails.

Just like now. You didn't look like shit, you looked lovely despite being tired, and Abby had a fucking knee jerk reaction to god knows what.

You came back from the shower, smelling like you, and you sat next to Abby, putting your head on her shoulder. Abby stopped typing, her heart doing a micro somersault: you were so close so suddenly it scared her. Or whatever she kept telling herself, really.

"I wanna die."

"You're just hungry." Abby murmured and pretended to be concentrating on her studies. "There's leftovers from yesterday or I can order something for you."

You made a tired sound and Abby chuckled.

"What do you want? Thai? Indian?"

"Nah, don't waste money, I'll cook something."

"I'm not 'wasting money'. You're tired as fuck." I want to take care of you, she wanted to say, but she was being weird again, so she didn't. "Just pick."

"Let's do rock paper scissors."

Abby won and ordered your usual while you went through the endless list of tv shows for both of you to watch. Now, when you weren't that close, Abby got back to studying - her weird panic could wait until she was done. In Abby's mind her gpa was way harder to fix than whatever emotional things she had going on.

"Cait really likes Ellie." You said offhandedly, and Abby perked up. "In a friendly way."

"Really?"

Abby was surprised for two reasons: Ellie had a temper and was only likeable when she was interested in someone sexually, and Cait was so out of her league it was ridiculous.

"Yeah. They play chess and study together. Cait doesn't study with people, so I guess Ellie is special in that way."

"Wow." Abby chuckled. "I mean, Ellie is extremely smart. Is it your type?" Abby teased, continuing the bit about you crushing on Ellie. However something in her grew anxious at the thought of learning what your type was.

"It's more about her arms, you know." You laughed, looking a little embarrassed at the admission.

Something felt hot in Abby’s chest as she looked down at her own arms. She looked back at you and flexed her bicep to see your reaction, and it was worth it: you looked dazed for a second before quickly looking away, flustered. Abby laughed at you and you hit her on her arm, embarrassed.

“Fuck you.” You laughed too, and Abby felt too good in this moment, just laughing and teasing you; she never wanted it to end. "What is your type?"

Abby blinked. Her type? She never gave it a thought before: relationships weren’t something she was too invested in, it never seemed to be worth the effort. She never experienced this head over heels love everyone was talking about, so she never cared to run after boys.

"I don't really have a type." Abby said, thinking back to her not-so-long list of exes. "You know, with men if he is not an asshole it's already a win."

You laughed and Abby smiled, her confusion about not having a type going away.

"Great, we're definitely going to have a perfect love life with these standards." You chuckled and laid back on the sofa, letting Abby get back to her study.

Abby's favourite part of Thursdays was happening around 10pm, when you'd finish washing the dishes - today it was putting everything in the bin - and Abby'd get her excessive amount of pillows and blankets so you two could cuddle and watch the next episode of the ridiculous show you both were too invested in.

"Come on, come here." Abby said a little impatiently while you were putting some pillows away.

"I'm not the one who made a fucking fort out of pillows." You grumped but soon enough you put your head on Abby's shoulder, your hands tucked in front of your chest. Abby always expected you to hug her around her middle, but you never did, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Sometimes, very rarely, when you'd get too tired, you'd fall asleep on Abby's chest, and Abby never had the heart to wake you up. You already showered, everything was clean and you didn't have any tasks to do, so why would she wake you up? Just so you could walk to your bedroom, your sleep interrupted? No.

Abby looked down where your head was, curious if you were asleep after the episode ended, but you looked up just as she lowered her head, and fuck you were too close. So close Abby's heart fucking malfunctioned and started beating five times faster. She could feel your breath on her face and something was demolishing under her ribcage - it happened in a matter of seconds and you moved away, creating the distance between you, but Abby was so scared in that moment she didn't breathe.

"Do you need to study?" You asked as you moved away and sat next to her. Abby tried not to feel disappointed at losing your warmth.

"I'm done, actually. I feel kinda confident about tomorrow, you know?"

Abby stood up and started tidying up the living room, putting everything in its place.

"You're smart, Abby. You'd nail that seminar, I promise."

"Thanks, (y/n). You're coming tomorrow to my fight, right?"

"Yeah. I even cleared my schedule for it." You said, pleased with yourself and Abby smiled. "But I'll kill you if you get hurt, you hear me? No missing punches."

Abby laughed and came closer to you, refusing to feel weird about being affectionate with you. It was fine.

"I will be careful, I promise." Abby murmured as she leaned down and kissed your forehead. "Don't want to get in trouble with a woman who feeds me."

"Damn right." You said sternly. "Good night, Abby."

"Night, (y/n)."

You only had a vague idea about MMA fights: you were never really interested in sports, let alone violent sports, but well, Abby invited you so you decided to give it a shot. You weren't sure you'd like it (seeing Abby being punched? No thank you), but Abby wouldn't have invited you if it wasn't important to her, right?

Or were you fantasising again? Making a big deal out of nothing? Fuck, it was getting harder and harder to keep yourself in check with these things. Abby was sweet, and you were weak for sweet girls.

You tried not to get delusional when your suspicion got too strong - was it intuition or wishful thinking? Were you seeing things that weren't there or were you ignoring what was? You didn't know, and yeah, it was manageable, but also - it drove you crazy. You couldn’t live like this, questioning Abby’s every move and every word.

Maybe you should have talked to her about the possibility of her not being straight, but her best friend was a lesbian, surely Abby had a moment to reflect on her own sexuality like some straight girls did when they found out their friend was gay. Abby was smart, she’d have figured it out already.

God you thought you weren’t that stupid, but you were failing not to fall for Abby for a month and a half already. Hubris is a bitch, huh.

Ellie met you outside the place where the fight would take place fifteen minutes before the start. She looked good, as attractive as always - yes, (y/n), you needed to look at women you actually had a chance with, good job, keep it up - and the look she gave you suggested she thought the same about you. She even took your hand in hers as she led you to your seats, and you didn’t protest - somehow Ellie being touchy felt natural, and her cool hand felt nice on your skin. You sat together and you looked around.

“There’s supposed to be medics around, right?”

“Yeah, but Abby doesn’t get super injured, she’ll be fine.”

“Have you seen her face? I almost went into cardiac arrest when I saw her.”

“That’s her usual day at practice.” Ellie shrugged, her thigh warm against yours as she moved closer to hear you better. “Don’t worry, she can take a lot more than that. She is tough and intimidating, and she actually knows how to duck. But if you tell her I said it - your ass is grass.”

You laughed at Ellie's words and she smiled back. She explained to you how the fight was going to happen, and you felt a little hopeful - how much damage can happen in a five minute round? Not a lot, right? Right?

There were other fights too, and you had time to adjust to the overall violence of it all. You didn't know the girls who were fighting, but even then when a stranger got hit you couldn't help but flinch. Ellie noticed how stressed you were getting, so she took your hand in hers to ground you. The touch was definitely easy between the two of you, and it was comforting, so you squeezed her hand back.

"I don't know if I'd survive this." You laughed and Ellie squeezed your hand back.

"Look, they're all fine. No blood, no bruises."

"The standards are too low, Ellie. You're in sports too, right?"

"If you call skateboarding a sport then yeah. I'm a hell of an athlete." Ellie snorted.

"You should've taken Abby with you."

"Babe, she has been in martial arts since she was four. I'm pretty sure she'd have kicked my ass if I asked her to leave MMA."

You laughed at this, a little bit confused: Ellie was behaving like Ellie you knew, not Ellie that was studying with Cait three times a week. The difference was intriguing.

Finally Abby's name was announced and you got tense, bracing yourself. But when she walked to the cage, you forgot how to breathe for a totally different reason: she was so intimidating and confident, her defined shoulders rolled back in a threat, and you just couldn't help yourself. She was hot. She was so hot you pressed your thighs together as your eyes roamed over her trained body that screamed power and dominance, her top and shorts letting you see her abs and thighs that could crush your head if Abby wanted to. Fuck.

Mark you as scared and horny.

Her opponent was similar to her in size, and you watched with wide eyes as they approached each other after the bell rang. Abby was light on her feet, not too fast as previous fighters, but she timed her punches well, immediately cornering her opponent. But the girl was quick to recover as she landed some punches on Abby's side with her legs and you gasped, terrified.

"Abby's okay." Ellie said to you and you finally exhaled, not looking away from the cage.

It was the most stressful eighteen minutes of your life, and the relief you felt when Abby was getting the upper hand and she was punching instead of getting punched, was immeasurable. Abby didn't really let her opponent corner her, her face had that calculated expression as if she knew every way this fight could go. That was comforting, but not as comforting as hearing the last bell and seeing Abby's black glove raised in the air to show her win.

"That was so intense." You admitted as you relaxed in your seat and Ellie laughed, her hands stroking your thigh.

"Believe me, it wasn't. You need to watch Abby's previous fights, there's some intense shit."

"No thank you." You said. "Do we wait for her or? What the fuck we are supposed to do, actually?"

"She told me to meet her at the party, so we can head out. Are you going to the party?"

"I dunno." You admitted sheepishly. "I have plans tomorrow."

"Come on, it will be fun. You can leave early and still get your beauty sleep. I can even set an alarm for you, Cinderella."

"Okay-okay. I'll leave at midnight."

Abby arrived at the party a little later than she planned, but at least everyone was already having fun and not yet wasted. She quickly grabbed a beer and went through people to find Ellie and then find you - in Abby's head you were supposed to be with her. Ellie, however, was talking to her other friends - that was how Abby referred to anyone Ellie befriended in university - she was laughing and you were nowhere in sight.

Ellie noticed her and went for a hug, patting her back.

"(Y/n) said your fight was 'so intense'." Ellie laughed and Abby laughed too, because they both knew Abby had way worse fights. "Congrats on not having your ribs broken."

"You're so sweet." Abby said mockingly. "What did I do to have such a supportive, caring best friend?"

"Nothing you should be proud of."

"Have you seen (y/n)? I kinda thought she'd be with you."

"Yeah, she was talking to some girl." Oh. "Close to the bar."

Something not really pleasant filled Abby's chest after Ellie's words, something like disappointment. She expected to see you there, but you were somewhere else, talking to someone else.

Abby took a sip of her beer and went in the direction Ellie told her to find you. And yes, there you were, talking to a black haired girl Abby didn't know. It looked like the conversation was friendly, and the other girl didn't stand too close to you, which brought Abby relief - what the fuck was wrong with her? Why was she so uncomfortable with seeing you with someone else? What the fuck?

She walked through people to get closer to you, and when you turned your head you saw her and smiled. Abby smiled back and watched you touch the other girl's forearm, saying your goodbyes. The girl smiled at you and motioned at her phone as you nodded before she started to walk away. When Abby came to you, the girl wasn't there anymore and your smile was only directed at Abby, and it calmed her down, the normalcy of your life getting back.

"Congratulations!" You hugged Abby tightly and she hugged back, stroking your back on instinct.

"Did you like it?" Abby already knew the answer, but she really wanted to tease you.

"Liked seeing people getting punched? No."

"But what about all those arms, hm?"

"I swear to god, Abby." You elbowed her and Abby laughed.

"Was it your friend?" Abby asked cautiously, trying to pass her curiosity as something casual.

"Hm?"

"The girl you were talking to. I didn't want to interrupt, sorry." Was she really sorry? Maybe.

"Oh, don't worry." You said, not answering Abby's question, and it made her feel not good. "Are you feeling okay though?"

"You're such a mother hen." Abby rolled her eyes. "My side is bruised, and she got my lip, but otherwise I'm fine."

"Great."

Abby spent the next hour glued to your side, talking to you: it was fun to be with you outside your shared apartment. Yeah, you spent time together on weekends, but being around a lot of people Abby knew and showing who she was friends with (yup, people knew you because you were a tutor on campus and a lot of them swore they got their credits thanks to you) was a cool feeling. Abby felt cool because she was friends with you.

"I have plans tomorrow with Caitlyn." You said as you checked the time on your phone. "I'll head out."

"Already?"

"Yeah. But you have fun, okay? Call me if you need me."

"Need you?" Abby raised her eyebrow.

"What if you get so drunk you'd need assistance?" You teased and hugged Abby. "Have fun! See you at home."

"Okay, mom." Abby laughed and watched you leave, just a bit sad.

She found Ellie and hung out with her friends until she needed a refill of her beer. And while she was waiting for her beer, someone scooted closer to her and coughed, catching her attention.

Abby turned her head to see a guy her age with a stubble. He smiled at her and Abby smiled back, a little confused.

"I was at your fight today." He said as he looked her over, and Abby got thrills from his attention. "You know how to throw a punch."

"Thanks." Abby said, pleased. Guys rarely liked the fact she could fuck them up, and hearing a guy saying she was good was ego boosting.

"I'm Owen." He stretched his hand for a handshake, and Abby took it.

"Abby."

The vibration of notifications woke you up and you expected to see Caitlyn’s message saying she finally went to sleep. You checked the time - 3am - and looked at your notifications. Indeed, Caitlyn messaged you half an hour ago with “if i see you earlier than 12pm ill kill you”, but there were other notifications.

from: Abby

Hi im with a boy

sorry

promise we won’t be loud

Your heart sank, but you didn’t even have time to process your emotions as you heard the front door open and people talking in hushed voices. Of fucking course you woke up just in time to hear Abby come home with a guy. They quickly made their way to Abby’s bedroom, trying to be quiet, but you got hyper aware of every noise. Fuck.

It hurt, and it hurt even more because you were so fucking stupid. You knew from the beginning Abby would never be interested in you because you were a girl, but the safety of your apartment where the two of you existed in your small little bubble made you delusional.

Abby was just affectionate and touchy, and you were stupid and read it the way you wanted to read it, getting your hopes up. Stupidstupidstupid

You heard the bed creak on the other side of the wall and your throat tightened. Abby liked guys and she was having sex with a guy right now while you felt your heart crush, because you overestimated yourself and thought you could easily manage your feelings.

The problem was that you forgot that feelings were not manageable and not something you could compromise with. You couldn’t just decide not to feel something and then actually stop feeling it. This mindset trapped you into repression and repression could only go so far, and now the fucking dam was broken.

You were in love with Abby, and you had no chance and Caitlyn was right: you were hurting yourself.

You didn’t cry, keeping your composure and snickering at the lack of the noise from the other side: either Abby was very quiet in bed or the sex wasn’t good. That thought made you feel better, not for any noble reason: you were hurt and you wanted Abby to not feel good too, and you didn’t really care at that moment that it wasn’t her fault.

Somehow you fell asleep, not bothered by any noise - that made you smile cruelly again - and you tried not to think about this situation and your own feelings.

Caitlyn was right, you needed a distraction.

Abby woke up with a pleasant ache in her body and her head hurting just a little. Her bed was empty and she was relieved - she didn’t like to wake up next to someone she barely knew.

Well, knew enough to have sex with him, but not enough to wake up next to him. Abby genuinely liked Owen - he was easy going and polite, and honestly? Maybe you were right when you said you didn’t really need to know someone to hook up with them. And hey, Abby was so touch-starved she was too touchy with you, so it seemed like a great idea yesterday. It felt like it worked - she was probably too lonely the whole time and now she was relaxed and there was no pull to go and cuddle you. It made her feel guilty - if she stopped wanting to be close to you after she hooked up then it meant she was just selfish this whole time, substituting what she actually needed with whatever she could get from you.

Yeah, she didn’t feel like a good person right now.

Abby stood up from her bed and assessed the damage: two bruises on her inner thighs and a hickey on her collarbone, not that bad. She didn’t like when guys left marks on her - it mostly caused problems with covering up, but Owen was kinda good with not leaving marks everywhere.

Abby put her clothes on and made her way to the bathroom when she felt her chest tighten with anxiety: not only Owen was still here, but he was talking to you. Shit.

Abby felt bad for bringing someone home without actually discussing it with you beforehand and now you were making small talk at 11am with a guy who was supposed to leave a long time ago.

Owen noticed Abby and smiled at her, and she smiled back.

“Morning.” He looked down at her neck and Abby blushed a little.

“Morning.” Abby responded and waited for Owen to come closer to her.

He put his hands on her waist and kissed her on the cheek and Abby melted a little.

“Sorry, I have to go already, but text me anytime.” Owen murmured before leaving a small peck on her lips and Abby nodded.

Owen left and Abby went to the kitchen where you were drinking tea and looking ready for the day while Abby felt like a mess. The guilt overpowered her and she sat on the chair opposite of you.

“Sorry for yesterday, I know we haven’t discussed bringing people over.” Abby said, but you smiled at her.

“Hey, we are young and horny, can’t blame you for getting your stress relief.” You chuckled kindly, and Abby felt relieved. “He didn't seem like a total asshole.”

Abby laughed, knowing it was a pick at her standards.

“Well, just as you said, don’t really have to know him to hook up with him.”

“See, you’re learning.” You nodded your head approvingly and Abby laughed again. “Actually, while we’re still on the topic, can I bring girls over?”

“I mean, yeah, I think as long as we don’t disturb each other, everything is a fair game.” Who was Abby to deny your own needs when she literally brought a guy over?

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” You didn't look too happy right now, and it confused Abby to a degree, but she didn't ask.

What Abby didn’t know in that moment, that by giving you permission to bring girls over, she started the end of it all.

--------

To: Yoon Jiwoo

Hi!

Would you like to grab a coffee with me?

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou #aligyimh

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denpa-dere · 6 months

Note

3 with mammon for angry confessions please!!

“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.” “You… What?” with Mammon

___

"WHAT is your PROBLEM!?" You spat, spiking your bookbag against your bedroom floor. Mammon winced, but quickly recovered to save face. Still, it stung. You didn't normally raise your voice at him.

This was fine.

"What's your problem!?" He shouted back, defaulting to escalation instead of diffusion.

He could fix this.

"My problem!?" Your voice rang shrill with fury, "My problem is every time I try to make any friends outside of this house, YOU run them off! My problem is you, Mammon!"

Really, he could salvage things.

Mammon folded his arms over his chest, "You should be thanking me! He was scum-"

"He was nice," You said, flopping onto your bed. You covered your face with your hands and groaned in frustration.

Loathed as he was to admit it, the other demon was, by all accounts, a pretty nice guy. Mammon had been watching him like a hawk all week after the two of you were randomly assigned as lab partners. The other man (a title Mammon's brain instantly and unhelpfully assigned to him) was unfortunately quite handsome and apparently hilarious judging by the way you were cutting up around him.

Mammon had made it a point to drag you away as soon as class was over, shoving his way in between the two of you as if the other demon simply did not exist. He secretly breathed a sigh of relief when the assignment ended, your partnership ending along with it.

But that bastard kept coming around. Stopping you in the hallway to chat, finding you in the courtyard to join you (uninvited!) for lunch, and generally doing everything in his power to piss Mammon off. The second born wasn't stupid. He could see how the other demon looked at you and it made him sick.

So, today, when the other man approached you, eyes hopeful and clutching a note to his chest, push came to shove.

You didn't have to be so mad about it.

"He probably just wanted to eat your soul, anyway," Mammon grumbled.

The bitterness in your laugh shocked him, "Well, great, thanks. Not like I have anything else to offer, right?"

Shit.

"W-wait that's not-"

"No, no, it's fine!" You continued, "Why else would anyone try to get to know me unless they were trying to kill me or get to you guys, right?"

"I didn't say that," He backpedaled.

"Then what are you saying?" You asked, propping yourself up on your elbows to look at him through slitted eyes.

Mammon opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. The atmosphere crackled with wrath.

"Oh, come off it, Mammon! Obviously there must be something," You picked at him relentlessly, "It's not like this is the first time!"

He was beginning to sweat under your scrutiny.

"What, and now you're not even going to say anything?" You were reaching your boiling point, "I'm tired of these stupid games, Mammon! I'm trying to make the most of things here but I can't do that if you won't let me!"

“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay!?," He spluttered," But it happened and I can’t do shit about it!”

“You… What?”

Oops.

#obey me fic #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #denpa's transmissions #writing prompts

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sansxreaderbraindump · 3 months

Text

Ends And Beginnings

This was it. The barrier was finally broken, they are free now. Your purpose here has now been completed. You know what will happen next. "Player?" "aren't we going to join the others?" Frisk tugged onto your arm, they don't know you have to leave and You don't know how to explain this to your vessel but time is ticking already, you're going have to tell them anyways. You kneeled down and hold them by their shoulders to prepare them what you'll have to say. "Frisk do you remember what we promised?" "Yeah? we promised for everyone to be free and be happy, and we did! but why does that matter now?" "...frisk, do you want to be free and happy?" "..what?" Frisk's confused expression made you silent, trying to think of ways to break it down for them. But you can't, you have to reveal the painful truth. "I don't understand.." "Frisk, for everyone to be truly happy and free including you. I have to leave and never come back. I'm sorry.." Frisk didn't say anything but there face said everything you expected, Devastation and Desperation. Soon enough they tightly hugged you, begging for you to not leave. "You're the one who gave me this. Please... "don't leave." You looked at them with a tired smile as you held them. They were never yours but it was nice to pretend they were, you attempt to comfort them by caressing their head to make things more bearable. "I know, But for you to have all of this... I have to go." The world around the two turned to black, your body is fading away. Frisk notice's this and desperately tries to plead with you over and over, trying ways to not let you go but it's already too late. You were no more then a red soul, floating above frisk's hands. It was time to go, finally you gave away your finale goodbyes. "Goodbye Frisk and though I may be forever gone, Always remember.." "I'll always be with you in the dark." "NO WAIT [NAME] PLEASE DONT LEAVE M-" In a instant, frisk's finale plead was cut short. You opened your eyes and looked around to see nothing but the title "Undertale. The End" with Toby sleeping under it. You closed your eyes again ... Then you open your eyes to see a patch of grass and a door with no entry. You sat down onto the patch and began thinking about them, You wanted to stay with everyone else a little bit longer but that was the selfish way out. it was a bitter but sweet that everyone you grown to love is now happily living out their hopes and dreams. You are happy in the moment, blissfully thinking about the monster's time on the surface. ...Till a noise disturbed you. You stand up and turned around to see.. The Doctor You looked at him with a smile and greeted him like a old friend. "Greetings Doctor. Why are you here?" The Formal Royal Scientist didn't respond instead he stepped away from where he was standing, revealing a grey door. ❄︎♒︎♏︎ ☠︎♏︎⌧︎⧫︎ ☜︎⌧︎◻︎♏︎❒︎♓︎❍︎♏︎■︎⧫︎ ✋︎⬧︎ 🕈︎♋︎♓︎⧫︎♓︎■︎♑︎

( "The Next Experiment Is Waiting") Gaster commanded, waiting for you to open what lies ahead. You stare at him and the door for a good minute before you gave a tired sigh and walked towards the Grey door. Your hand held onto the knob, opening to see what comes next. "Let us continue, Shall we?"

#undertale x reader #deltarune x reader #frisk and player relationship is like parent and child or sibling to me #sorry if its not very good writing #or has too many mistakes 😅#undertale to deltarune 👀

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indouloureux · 2 years

Note

Ohhh my god that wayne fic!!! What about one where reader sleeps over and when they wake up wayne's already home so eddie has to introduce them and shes so nervous but wayne finds it v endearing <3

wayne wayne i love wayne :( thank you for requesting! <3

when eddie hears the tires of his uncle's car from inside the bathroom, he looks at you with a mouth half-full of toothpaste foam with his toothbrush hanging from his lips, and you snap your head at him from the doorframe, mug halfway through your lips to look at him in confusion.

he says something, gibberish with the white cloud in his mouth. you set the coffee down, world's best uncle mug meeting the sink.

"what?" you question.

eddie pulls his toothbrush out, bending to spit the foam before he goes back to you. "uncle wayne's home early,"

your face falls slightly. you've never met wayne, being introduced to him first through his picture on eddie's wallet—wayne in his early thirties and him on the brink of adolescence—and you were never one to judge a book by it's cover; however, the smile his uncle wore was undeniably intimidating, but kind nonetheless.

"i thought you said he wouldn't be home for another two hours?"

he says something muffled again. you roll your eyes, taking the toothbrush from his mouth and urging him to wash. he does it in less than five seconds before he's speaking to you again. "i said i think he wouldn't be home for another two hours,"

you groan, taking your coffee and tugging on your shirt, walking out of the bathroom. eddie follows suit, guiding you to his kitchen where he sees you nervously tapping the countertop, staring out the window.

"sweets," he comes up to you, arm around your waist as the other hand reaches for your coffee and takes a short sip, frowning at the lack of sugar. "did you even put sugar on this?"

"no,"

"why not?"

"i like it bitter," you say.

eddie shakes his head. "right. babe, why're you nervous, huh?" he rubs your waist, placing the coffee down and pulling you closer to his side. "he's my uncle. he's nice. you were bound to meet him, anyway."

"'s not that," you tug on the loose thread of your shirt—his shirt, yellow iron maiden logo below the collar and the album cover right in the middle— "i don't look nice. i haven't even cleaned up properly! it's- it's weird if he sees me like this."

your boyfriend snorts endearingly, digging his nose in your hair and lets his lips press a feather kiss on your head. "you look beautiful. you're gonna be fine. he's my uncle. he's seen my many phases of boyhood. he's gonna love you, and he will love you."

you look up at him, chin on his bicep and pout. "and if he doesn't?"

"well, then i guess you'll have to help me buy every mug in the world to convince him to love you,"

he beams when you laugh, couldn't help but place the softest kiss to your smiling lips that lingers until the door unlocks. eddie breaks away from you, helps you tug your shirt down as his uncle emerges from the door.

poor uncle wayne looks tired, but there's a faint smile on his face as he says, "hey, kid, i'm home."

when he looks up, he pauses at the sight of you next to his nephew. you shoot him a rather nervous grin, hands shaking as they clutch the sides of eddie's sweatpants.

wayne hangs his hat on a rack beside the door and clears his throat, offering you a tight-lipped smile. "well, hello there. you must be (y/n),"

"yes!" you almost topple the mug over had eddie been too late to take it from the countertop. "i'm- i'm (y/n). yes. i- i'm sorry if i'm here right now without letting you know!"

wayne sees the anxiousness in your eyes and the bemusement in eddie's, although his nephew's face had a tinge of pink coating his cheeks. he chuckles, walking over to you to set the keys on the small china plate.

"'s alright, kid," he runs his hand through his head. "i've been wanting to meet you, anyway. eddie's been telling me all about you. like a fly to an ear, i'm tellin' ya. but i don't mind," wayne looks at him. "he's happy,"

you look back at eddie who's already hidden his face behind his locks of brown hair, turning around to groan quietly into his hands that turns into a low whine. "uncle wayneee."

"he talks about me?" you turn back to him, lips twitching up. "that's... nice."

"it's very nice," his hand comes up to pat your shoulder, chuckling at how quick your nervousness has withered and transferred to his blushing nephew. "now, if you'll excuse me, i'll be using the bathroom. then we can talk over this with coffee,"

"how 'bout you stay in the bathroom for..." eddie crosses his arms, eyes gluing on the ceiling. "like, four more hours,"

"eddie!"

#eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things x reader #wayne munson

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kyotosworld · 1 year

Text

I Love You More

a/n: this is inspired by "i love you more" by the softies you can listen to it while reading if you want :) also this is my first fanfic….

summary: natasha starts drifting away after she gets into a relationship and you can't handle it.

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x bruce banner

word count: 1k

warnings: angst, language

You watched as natasha laughed at something bruce said while they sat close together on the couch. It was nice to see her so happy with someone for once, but a part of you felt bitter that that someone wasn’t you.

It was team movie night, and even though you were meant to be having fun, you felt trashy having to see nat sit so close to bruce. You want to be the one cuddling up next to her and keeping her warm, but that’s not happening.

It’s been some time since just you and natasha have hung out. You've been seeing her less and less ever since she started dating Bruce. You felt like you had to compete for her time, but it wasn’t much of a competition seeing as, more often than not, bruce won.

You knew there was no chance that nat saw you the way you saw her, so you never risked saying anything that might make it obvious how much you loved her. Or how much you despise the fact that Bruce can openly express his feelings for her while you can't. So instead, you love her quietly.

You’re brought out of your thoughts when she smiles at you, and you try your best not to show how much it affects you before you smile back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You’re excited. You have plans to go to your and nat’s favourite cafe, which you've been wanting to go to for so long. You and her used to go all the time before she started dating bruce, and you were glad to be resuming the tradition. She promised to take you, and you've been looking forward to some time with her.

You are ready long before you have to be and decide to wait for her in the kitchen—where you guys chose to meet up. You start to get uneasy as it reaches the time when nat was meant to be here but isn't. You decide to wait longer, hoping she’ll be here soon.

She finally walks into the kitchen, and you’re ecstatic to see her. Nat looks over at you, notices you're dressed—more than usual—looks down at herself in pyjamas, then looks back up at you with a guilty expression. Your heart breaks as you realize she forgot.

“Oh.. it totally slipped my mind.” Nat slaps her palm on her forehead. "I'm sorry; I've been so preoccupied with Bruce, and...I can't believe I forgot; I really wanted to go. Me and bruce were out late last night, and I'm exhausted right now..”

“Oh no. It's fine,” you say, pushing down the hurt. “I’m kinda tired anyway.” You lie.

She at least has the decency to look like she feels bad. “Are you sure, love?”

You hated when she called you that. You hated how much more it made you love her.

“Yeah yeah, we’ll just go another time.” You tiredly smiled, not at all believing what you were saying.

“Of course,” she smiled. And you hated that that was all it took for you to forgive her. Regardless, it stung that something that meant so much to you didn't even cross her mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Natasha looked so beautiful as she tended the bar. It was another one of tony's parties, and nat was bartending. You stood on the side as you watched her, actively trying to ignore bruce’s presence.

You hated him. However, you knew your anger wasn’t really justified. Bruce didn’t actually do anything wrong; he only did what you’ve wanted to do for so long—be with natasha.

As much as you hated their relationship, you did notice how much happier natasha seemed. And seeing her like that only made you love her more.

You didn’t feel like you were worthy of being with her, she’s everything good, and you felt like the complete opposite. You hoped you could be enough for her, but you also knew it was too late for that.

If natasha being happy meant forgetting about you, you were okay with it. All you could do was hope that bruce loved her at least half as much as you did.

Every now and then, when you and Nat hung out it made you happy. Up until she’d mention bruce, which made you feel horrible.

There were times when you’d prefer she go to him because it seemed like that's all she wanted anymore. There was nothing keeping her with you anyway. But you would take all the time you could get with her, even if she only talked of him.

She was spending more and more time with bruce, meaning you saw her less, and you missed her. It almost felt like she was ignoring you. You were sick of feeling this way, so jealous, when she didn't even give you a second glance.

You even tried to convince yourself that you didn't have feelings for nat. You tried dating to distract yourself, but nothing ever worked. You were starting to accept that you were losing nat and that you’d never have her the way you wanted to. Maybe you were meant to end up alone, maybe you‘d rather.

Knowing that you would feel much better if you weren't reminded of what you can't have, you decide to leave the party. When you finally get out, you somehow hear your name over the loud music and turn to see nat.

“You’re leaving already?” She asks, somewhat out of breath.

“Yeah, I'm kinda sick of all of Tony's parties.” You try to laugh, and she chuckles.

“Mm..are you sure? We haven’t even danced yet.” She teases.

A part of you considers going back in with her until she speaks again, “Look, I know I've been spending so much time with bruce, but you’ve been nothing but understanding. Thank you.” She says sweetly.

You gulped before replying, “of course.” Never mind, you’d rather not go back in.

“Ok, well, if you’re sure about not coming back in, I’ll see you later, love.” Nat squeezes your hands before letting go and walking back inside.

It hurt. It hurt to hear her say that. And it hurt to watch her leave, to be with him, and not you.

#natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel #mcu #avengers #angst #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #marvel x reader #marvel imagine

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olderthannetfic · 8 months

Note

I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

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heartofwritiing · 6 months

Text

and you just can’t say goodbye.

paring: (zombur) William Godwinson x fem!reader

summary: Wil gets bitten, and angst ensues.

authors note: HUGE thanks to @ax-y10 for the help because originally this fic was gonna end a lot more agnsty but then they gave me an idea that was more on the happy side! I've never written a zombie apocalypse setting before so please excuse anything I get wrong. I've only watched other people play The Last of Us and I've briefly seen one episode of The Walking Dead so you can see how this will probably go. lol. The Sorry Boys zombie video is brain-rotting in my head rn I've watched it about four times now. yes. I love Zombur, so here's a drive-by of me throwing this fic at you and then skirting off with smoke from my tires. enjoy the brainrot :p (I'm so sorry this took me so long to get out, I've been procrastinating finishing it because I'm having some self-doubt at the minute but I hope you guys like this anyway even though it's a mess lol)

warnings: zombie apocalypse au, angst, death, violence, swearing, lots of kissing, characters use guns, the writer doesn't know anything about how guns work lmao, sort of happy end? super unedited!

"shit! I'm out of ammo!"

You pulled the trigger on the handgun once more, but nothing. It was luck that you had even found one. Even so early on in an apocalypse. A month had gone by since the first day of the outbreak. Though it was likely that you should've died on the first day, you don't know why you've survived this long. you should be dead.

At first, you thought staying in your apartment was the best chance you had of surviving. Big mistake. That strategy turned south when your front door was barged in after four days of no disturbance from any outsiders. Your boyfriend Wil had grabbed everything you could carry, and you hadn't stopped moving ever since.

Now, you and Wil found yourselves trapped in an alley with no escape. A pack of infected had cornered you, slowly closing in while making menacing noises. Wil bravely stood between you and the horde, fighting them off to protect you.

"Climb up the fire escape!" he shouted back at you.

You looked around until you spotted a ladder conveniently placed on the side of the building within reach. Infected were dropping like flies as Wil's shots echoed through the air. The ladder shook as you climbed, heart pounding in your ears. You glimpsed down to check and see if Wil was following, to find he was surrounded on all sides by infected. Your heart dropped when you saw one of their mouths was too close to his wrist. By the time you called out his name, it was already too late.

'Fuck!' Wil screamed as the infected bit through his skin and charred his flesh. Blood gushed down his arm and around the infected's mouth. You cry his name as he reeled back his fist and punched the infected repeatedly until it staggered off of him, but it was too late. Your eyes were fixed on him as he quickly climbed up the ladder, gasping for breath as he did so. He seemed in immense pain as he pulled his body up the ladder, slightly struggling.

Upon reaching the roof, you found a roof access leading to a floor with multiple doors, revealing it to be an apartment complex. Wil was already feeling the effects of the infection. His skin was sticky with sweat, the bitter taste left in his mouth tasting the blood rising in his throat, and the sudden vertigo he got just by rushing down the stairs was enough to make him nauseous.

You came to the floor with all the apartment units and quickly kicked in the door of the closest one. It took a few attempts to kick the door, and then bam! The sound of splitting wood and the door bouncing off the wall made a delirious Wil jump.

You entered the small room, helping Wil through the doorway, and setting him down gently before closing the door. You searched around for something to barricade the door with. Just in case of any infected find you. The only thing that looked heavy enough was the dresser tucked into the corner. Using all your muscles, you pushed the object across the room with the bottom of the dresser scraping against the wood, grimacing at the loud noise.

Letting out a sigh of relief, you knew you were safe for now. You dusted your hands off and turned back to Wil who was slumped against the wall on the floor, clutching his bitten arm. Wincing and squirming from the heat burning through his skin spreading throughout his veins.

The room was dim, and you noticed the sweat beading down his forehead. You quickly took your backpack off your shoulders and strode over to him. Taking out the first-aid kit you had for emergencies, you pulled out the tiny bottle of anti-septic cleaning solution and the roll of bandages.

You gazed down at his wrist, which was curled against his chest, shrouding you from looking at it. The ring of teeth marks oozing out the color of maroon as black vines protruded around the area, extending over his skin. His head lulled to the side as he let out a moan of pain.

"No, baby, keep your eyes open," you tried to lure him back to consciousness. Take his hand and position it palm up in your lap. He whines like a wounded animal in response.

Unscrewing the cap, you quickly prep the cotton pads. Then you quickly realize you should've put on gloves beforehand. Muttering curses under your breath you shake your head at the thought, There was no time.

"What are you doing?" Wil's voice slurs. He sounds groggy, like something is trying to creep up his throat to escape, not him. It scares you. You refuse to look at him.

"I have to clean the wound before it gets infected," you say nonchalantly.

With the little strength he has left, Will reaches out his unbitten hand to catch yours. You stop your movements in disbelief of his actions, tears brimming in your eyes as you try to save his life, but he stops you again. You both know what's inevitable, you just can't accept it.

"Wil-" you try to pull out of his grasp. You reach out to touch his wrist again this time, he is the one who pulls away.

"Look at me," he pleads. You can't bring yourself to shift your eyes to his, knowing this was inevitable. You had to try. He had to let you try.

"just stop."

Wil tries to grab the items from your hands, but you move too quickly for his shrinking reflexes to keep up. Moving beginning to be too strenuous.

"I can't- Wil-" You struggle to fight against him, too scared to hurt him. Though he's already dying.

"Stop, honey..." he quivers.

"Just let me save you!" you cry. It echoes through the room. The air is tense, and you finally meet his eyes. His skin is sickly pale, eyes bright with red veins and glossy. Purple hues outline under his soft doe eyes as they peer into yours. He fists the hem of your shirt, inviting you closer. Your breaths mix together as he presses his forehead to yours.

The words hang between you, but you bite your tongue. You want to tell him how much you want him to stay and not give up. Deep down, you already know it's not enough.

"It's too late for me darling, leave me here.”

“I'm not leaving you,” you say sternly, shaking your head.

You were determined to stay with him, no matter how difficult things got, you were unwilling to abandon him.

“Please, I don’t want you to see me turn into a monster.” his voice wavered. Your heart sank. No matter what, he would always be your Wil. Sweet, caring, and lovable Wil. Whom you adored with every fiber of your being.

You reach up to cup his face with your hands, but they feel cool against your clammy skin. His cheekbones are slowly becoming more prominent. You stare into his eyes, but the urge to tell him to be quiet becomes harder as anger festers in your chest. However, it's not anger towards him, but rather frustration towards the universe.

Instead, you snuggle up next to him to demonstrate your lack of fear and your trust in him. You want to be by his side and provide comfort. You understand that it's unrealistic to expect him to recover from this infection given his history of being sick and having a weakened immune system. It's best to accept the inevitable outcome.

It's unclear how much time has passed while the two of you remain in that position. His arm securely around your shoulder holding you close, with your arm laid across his lap where your fingers provided soft circles against his hip bone. The room grows darker as the sun sets. The air feels eerie yet comforting all at once with Wil by your side. Nothing but the sounds of his raspy breathing and occasional coughing fit to surround you. He whispers through the dark against the crown of your head with horse words. Sweet nothings, promises that make you curl into him further so he can't see the single tear you shed.

He lifts his hand to gently cup your cheek, tilting your head to meet his gaze. Selfishly, he leans in for a soft kiss. You whine at the metallic taste in his mouth when he groans to part his lips so his tongue finds yours. It makes your head spin like a top how this man makes you feel. His lips are chapped, rough, and fast as he indulges in you for maybe the last time. You gasp and reach up to tangle your fingers in his locks to reel him closer to you. His hand finds the underside of your thigh, digging into your flesh. The mere touch of his hand sets your body ablaze and sends shivers down your spine.

It's frantic and passionate, your love for him shown physically. When you disconnect, suddenly remember you need to breathe. his eyes are hazy and his pupils are blown. You are sure you look like a flustered mess.

"I love you," he says sincerely, and you believe him.

It stings in your chest, you can't stand it.

"I love you more," you reply.

You tuck yourself into his neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and outdoors, and it's calming. Wil rests his head on the crown of your head. You neglect how his breathing has slowed as you drift off to sleep.

The next time you open your eyes, the sun peeks through the window, casting a golden glow over the bedroom. Your bones crack when you sit up to stretch from sleeping in the same position all night. You knew you'd regret it later when you had back pain for days. You turn to Wil, who doesn't stir when you move. Your heart dropped when you noticed something different about him.

Around his eyes were a darker color than the previous night. His cheekbones were completely sunken in where you could almost see the bone. his lips were a blueish color and his chest was rising and falling.

This was your fault. You should have stayed awake.

Tears streamed down your face as you called out his name, gently shaking his body, but he didn't respond.

"Wil!" you wailed, begging for him to come back.

You slumped forward, cradling him against your chest, pressing kisses to his temple, and muttering apologies against his cold skin. You felt your heart break as you realized he was gone, and tears rolled down your face as you held him close to you. You felt a deep emptiness settle in your heart. You knew you would never fill the void his death had left. You sobbed, gripping him tighter, and whispered your final goodbye. You held him close, cherishing holding home one last time. Knowing that you would never be the same again.

You're too distraught to move. You don't want to leave him here, but you don't have any other choice. The urge to keep on and survive was slowly fading now that you had no one left in this cruel world.

Wil felt heavy in your arms to the point where your arms were falling asleep, but you refused to let go. If you were to leave now, you may be tempted to never return to the person you once were. Allow your sorrow to consume you. The one good thing left in your life was gone.

You suddenly felt hands grab your lower back, causing you to yelp in surprise. Fingers gripe harshly at your skin through your clothes. Wil's chilled breath glides up your spine as he lets out a deep groan against your collarbone. He was alive? How?

His lips ghosted across your collarbone, pressing his nose directly into your pulse point. His hot breath fans across your exposed skin, causing goosebumps to rise along your body. Then, you feel his teeth nipping at your skin, and your eyes widen realizing his intentions.

You jerk away and shove him off you roughly. Crawling backward, quickly shuffling away from him, your heart pounding, until your back hits the opposite wall with a thump. You wince in pain from the impact and notice Wil gradually beginning to crawl toward you. A fixed gaze over his sheer white eyes, almost glowing like moonbeams. Chills ran down your spine as you gazed at your former lover, unrecognizable.

You froze as he approached, shrinking in on yourself. His body lazily dragged itself across the wooden floor, scrapping and groaning with every floorboard. Once he was close enough, his hand unexpectedly reached to grasp your ankle, and you screamed in fear. Nails harshly dig into your skin and create recent moon shapes that make you cry out.

He yanked you with a surprising strength until you were laid beneath him, overbearing you. You are powerless as Wil, or not Wil's body leaned over you and cadged you with his arms. Tears flow from the corners of your eyes and into your ears as his face inches towards you.

"Please," you whisper. Again, he tilts his head in curiosity at you.

"William?" Your eyes bore into his, trying to find some trace of life left in them. You observe his eyes returning to their natural color and a look of terror crossing his face as he regains consciousness. He staggers back and moves away from you frantically, clutching his chest and struggling to breathe.

You both sit on opposite sides of the room against the wall, he stares into the floor burning holes into the wood, avoiding your eyes. You just blink blankly at him in shock, knees tucked against your chest again.

Wil cradled his skull, clutching fist fulls of his hair, squeezing his eyes shut, and heaving breaths of panic puffed out his mouth. Mumbles of "I'm sorry," repeated like a mantra over, and over out shakily.

You let out an unsteady breath, His eyes quickly flicked over to you and fear flooded your senses once again.

"Darling?" he tries, his voice hoarse. He moves towards the center of the room, positioning himself a safe distance from you. “I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me..." his voice trails off.

He noticed your tense reaction upon watching him inch closer to you, and it broke his heart to see you trembling in fear due to his prior actions. He could never forgive himself for causing you such distress.

"is it really you?" you asked.

"I don't know," he says honestly. "I don't feel like myself, It's like I'm trying to grab hold of a stearing wheel and fight for control right now."

Your heart sank at his words. You let them maul over in your head for a moment. It sounded like your Wil, but you hesitated in reaching out to him. So, was he alive? He didn't look it, his skin was still deathly pale and almost decayed. Nose now dripping with dried blood that ran down his lips.

His head hangs low as he silently sobs. He didn’t want this. Now he was dead and was leaving you to defend yourself. He swore he would always protect you and he’s failed. He knows its selfish to ask you to stay with him, you should just leave him here to rot. Still, he begs you.

“Please, darling dont leave me,” You shake your head and crawl towards him. He might be an undead zombie now, but you still loved him more than anything else is this life. You would do anything for him. You take his face in your hands to tilt his head up but he avoids your eyes. “look at me,” his eyes shift to yours.

“I wanna help you baby, and im sure as hell not gonna leave you, not now, not ever.” you proclaim. “So don’t you dare ever try and push me away, because im staying. No matter how complicated things get.”

You bring yourself to kiss his forehead, your warm lips making him sigh out from the touch. He holds you for what feels like hours. Eventually you both know you’ll have to leave this abandoned apartment, whether you run out of food or more zombies show up. move on, then figure things out. Whatever it takes you would stay together, no matter what.

taglist: @trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @scenefaez @starsyoubreaklikesugardust @drop-of-void

#wilbur soot x reader #fanfiction #zombie apocalypse #sorry boys #wilbur soor x fem!reader #agnst #x reader #writing #fanficton #zombur #zombur x reader #zombie au #c!wilbur soot x reader #outbreak au

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repairgirl · 1 year

Text

michelle || leo valdez x fem!reader songfic

a/n: #2 in songfic series! song: michelle- sir chloe

t/w: alcohol, cursing, substance abuse, mention of vomitting, super smutty and super nsfw

word count: 1.2k

You swayed back and forth to the boom boom boom beat of the music, sipping the raw, bitter alcohol. Travis's party was just what you needed: shots, random boys you didn't care about to grind on and distract yourself with, getting blackout drunk, and basically anything to make you get your mind off of him.

Just thinking about his name made you want to vomit. You were reminded of walking in on him with that other, terrible, Nemesis girl, the half-assed breakup, never getting closure, and endless nights of sobbing and feeling sorry for yourself. Two weeks later, and his words were fresh in your mind like a fresh cut he had just re-opened yesterday. You drank more, feeling dizzy, praying the alcohol would numb your brain.

Fuck him, anyway. You'd show him you could do better.

"Woah, calm down," a random boy said, approaching you. The darkness and flashing lights of the cabin made it hard to see his face, so you could barely make out his gleaming brown eyes and sepia skin. "You might wanna be careful with that much alcohol."

"You don't know what's best for me," you snapped, your words slurring. The bass pumped in your ears, making your head feel like it was going to explode.

To your surprise, the boy laughed rather than acting offended. "Okay, I guess you're right. I shouldn't be talking, anyway. I just finished shotgunning this beer,” he answered, showing you his tattered-up Natty Lite can.

Lightheaded and unphased, you allowed yourself to plop on the tattered sofa, the boy crashing next to you. His breath smelled of beer and straight tequila, and you only imagined that yours did too.

"Why?" you asked, inching close to him. His hand rested on his thigh, barely grazing yours under your ripped denim shorts.

"Why what?"

"Why do you drink? I mean, we all drink for a reason. We're either mad at someone else, or ourselves."

He paused, tapping his leg.

When you got drunk, you got angry and philosophical. Mad at the world, hyperaware of everything wrong with everyone, the reason why many people couldn't handle you drunk. The reason you usually drank alone.

The boy leaned back, resting his head against the seat. "I'm lonely. I'm fucking tired of being the seventh wheel, and always feeling like everyone's life is better than mine."

"Hey, I'm lonely too."

"You?" he asked. "Once everyone heard you were single again, they all wanted to get with you. Thought you would even be taken by now."

You scowled. You hated your reputation at camp: the pretty girl who everyone thought they could take advantage of just because she was from Aphrodite. You were tired of being treated like a sex object, especially by your ex, and you wanted to prove them all wrong. "That's exactly the point. All anyone ever wants me for is my body. But apparently even that wasn't good enough for... him."

The boy paused, almost looking sorrowful, and like he regretted saying anything. What was that look he was giving you? Pity?

"He cheated? I'm sorry... That's rough."

"Yeah, but it's whatever. That's why I drink, anyway," you said, gulping down more of a Coors bottle someone handed you. He looked concerned.

"You and me, we're opposites. I have to rely on my personality to get me anywhere. All my friends have amazing good looks to rely on. I have to work for that shit, to even be slightly noticed."

The strobe light shined on him, and you could see his features more clearly this time. Unsure of whether it was you or the alcohol speaking, you noticed his chocolate brown hair, beautiful curls you wanted to pull.

Most guys repulsed you, especially after the breakup. You wanted them to get their hands off of you, because no one felt right the way your ex did. But every move this boy made, every hungry look he gave you, all of that just made you want him more. He made you feel different.

"Then we would fit together perfectly," you said, inching towards him.

He moved his hand to your thigh, rubbing your leg with his thumb. The lights dimmed as the party entered its peak, and the sexual tension between you two increased.

The boy inched oh-so-slightly to the left so that his hot breath was on your ear, close enough to bite it. "Maybe we would."

Agonizingly slowly, he put one hand on your waist and used another to cup your face. You stared into his eyes, mesmerized by his gaze, your ears and head buzzing from the alcohol. Finally, you both shared a drunken kiss. You didn't even think about what you were doing.

He gripped your waist, and you climbed on his lap. He bit your lip, then sloppily put his tongue in your mouth, not bothering to ask for permission to enter. You kissed back, your tongues swirling together, making out like you were running out of time, running away from the world, running away from your ex, running to each other.

Once you slowly started grinding on him, he pulled away and whispered in your ear. "Let's take this to a room."

Once you got to an empty room, the boy twirled you around and pressed me against the wall. He tightened his arms around your waist, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, having to stand on your tiptoes. You pressed your body as close to his as possible, sticking your knee in between his legs for extra friction.

"Jump," he growled.

You did as you was told and jumped up so you were face to face, straddling him. He connected his lips with yours and squeezed your ass as he held you, making you moan into the kiss.

You urgently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his curly locks. You grinded into him, and he moaned into your mouth.

He set you down and pushed you onto the bed, never letting your lips disconnect.

One you were on the bed, him towering over you and shoving his tongue in your mouth, he finally put his hands under your shirt, feeling and squeezing your tits. He grinded his member against you, and you shivered in delight, running your fingers over his well defined muscles.

He started trailing kisses down to your neck, trying to find your sweet spot. Once he did, you let out a loud moan which you had been holding in, which of course only encouraged him to suck harder. Once he was done covering your neck in red spots, he pulled back, giving you that lopsided grin, then he finally hungrily kissed you again.

Whatever you felt- buzzed because of the alcohol, eager to get a rebound to prove your ex wrong, or solely just sexual attraction, you knew it felt right.

He was taking off your shirt after already discarding his on the floor when you stopped him.

"Wait," you panted. "I don't even know your name."

"Leo. Leo Valdez," he responded, and as he did, you watched his lips, wishing they were back on yours. "You?"

"Y/N L/N."

Leo trailed kisses down your chest, seductivley looking up at you with hungry eyes.

"Y/N L/N, you are a monster from hell."

leo valdez taglist: @slytherindaughterofposeidon0 @persephil @mmmelanie-blog1 @blue-violin @goldengoddess @dee-zbignuts @animes-trash @nottherealslimshady @cellias @lovemss

#leo valdez #leo valdez smut #leo valdez angst #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x you #pjo #percy jackson #leo valdez lemon #leo valdez fluff #leo valdez oneshot #leo valdez one shot #Heroes of Olympus #heroes of olympus one shot #heroes of olympus oneshot #hoo imagine #leo valdez imagine #songfic

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seung-mong · 11 months

Text

hyunchan - guilty guilty pt. 2

includes: sub! hyunjin x dom! bangchan x switch! fem reader, slightly darker themes, CHAN IS SO MANIPULATIVE IN THIS LMAW, mentions of infidelity, dacryphilia, heavy angst, oral (f and m rec), cum play, spit play, praise, hyunjin is soooo subby, some mxm action, use of "sir", use of petnames, slight degradation, fluff to make up for it at the end<3

a/n: finally!! someone decided to get off their ass and actually start writing! sorry it took so long i wanted, nay NEEDED it to be perfect and my creative juices were not juicing so i had to wait for inspiration to come to me JHDJSH but anyway here it is! i hope you enjoy it, i had so much fun writing it and tbh im blown away by how well received the first part was!! okay bye love u

wc: 4143 :0

hyunjin stares blankly back at bangchan, blinking slowly as he tries to process what he just heard. he almost feels like he's in a dream, but everything's too real and suddenly he's hyperaware of every little detail, as if all his senses are heightened. the silent hum that hangs in the silence. the way chan's eyes are honest, sincere, tired. the sound of his own shoe hitting the leg of the chair he's on as he nervously (subconsciously) bounces his leg.

"im... im sorry you want me to.. what?" hyunjin is taken aback by his own voice, surprised that he actually gathered the courage to repeat the question that's been on his mind. he's proud of himself for not screaming the question at chan, his friend, the way he's been screaming internally at himself.

"to fuck her." chan's voice is gentle, but it's a slap to the face and a punch to the gut as hyunjin winces, eyes squeezing shut as he tries t control his breathing, willing himself to calm the fuck down. obviously, he misheard his hyung. no one, i mean, no one. would ask for their friend (who is obviously in love with his girl by the way!) to fuck said girlfriend. hyunjin swallows thickly, convincing himself this is some sort of sick joke, a way for chan to test him.

"i dont know what you're talking about. why would i want to fuck y/n?" hyunjin's laugh is hollow, and he almost feels pathetic when chan smiles sadly at him, shaking his head.

"you dont think i've noticed how you look at her hyune?"

hyunjin feels sick to his stomach. if this is some kind of cruel prank, chan has gone too far. but. but if there was even a small chance any of this was real, hyunjin's still equally fucked. you noticed? god he feels like such a creep, he thought he was being discreet.

"chan, i-"

"it's okay, hyune." chan chuckles, scooting his chair closer to hyunjin, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "look, i- i'm not exactly the most present boyfriend." hyunjin looks up at his hyung, can see the bitterness in his still somewhat gentle eyes, and hyunjin almost pities him. "i'm always busy, never home, i try to make time for her, god do i try. and she's always so sweet, so patient and understanding and it's unfair for her." chan rambles, shoulders drooping as he shakes his head.

"i want her to feel loved. even if i'm not the one doing it."

hyunjin swallows but his throat has gone dry and it feels like sandpaper. he can feel his heart ache a little when he sees how sad chan is, tiredness evident in his very being, his eyes, the slowness of his breathing, his posture.

"but.... how's that fair for you?" hyunjin's voice is small.

chan shakes his head, running his fingers through his messy hair. "that doesn't matter to me right now. i just need to know she's happy. cared for. you can do that for me, can't you hyune? you'll take care of her for me, won't you?"

hyunjin frowns. chan's using his sickly sweet voice, the one he knows holds so much power over hyunjin, knows hyunjin could never say no to him when he pouts. it's unfair really, chan knows how bad hyunjin wants to be good, eager to do anything just for a little bit of praise and attention.

"f'course." hyunjin mumbles, eyes fixed on the plump of chan's lower lip as it juts out.

"see? knew i could count on you. you're a good boy f'me, aren't you hyune?" chan smiles, placing a hand on hyunjin's head and gently ruffling his hair. hyunjin scowls at him, but he can't hide the blush that spreads to his cheeks at the praise.

oh, he's so fucked. why did he even agree? how the hell will he manage to fuck you take care of you when he can barely hug you without wanting to tell you how down bad he is for you? it's all so messed up, how chan knows how he feels for you, and yet asking this of him? his self restraint can only go so far.

"there's just one more thing." chan clears his throat, placing a gentle hand on hyunjin's still bouncing leg.

"you can't tell y/n. promise?"

"chan."

your voice is barely even a whisper, pure fear settling at the pit of your stomach, your heart is beating so loud you can feel it in your head, can literally feel your blood run cold as you sit up in bed, hugging your knees to your chest in an attempt to put as much distance as you can between you and hyunjin. you dont even dare to look his way, gaze fixed on your boyfriend who stands in the doorway, letting his duffel bag hit the floor with a loud thud.

you hope you can play it cool, praying it doesn't look like hyunjin was just fucking your brains out. but there's no way to hide it, the way you're both slightly covered in sweat, sticky. chan wasn't stupid, could easily put two and two together once he registers that you're naked under the covers, hyunjin still shirtless and just in his boxers that were quickly shimmied on. you feel like imploding, want the ground to open up and swallow you whole. god, anything to get you out of this situation.

chan cant help but feel a little mean, the way he enjoys watching you shake as sobs rack through your entire frame, eyes full of guilt slowly pooling with fresh tears. you bite your bottom lip in worry, unsure of what to do, what to say. chan decides to play it out a little, taking a small step towards his side of the bed, eyes coldly fixed on you, completely disregarding hyunjin.

"chan." you repeat in a pathetic whimper, hands shaking from fear, pain, guilt. the whole situation is so overwhelming to you, and you hate that you can't read your boyfriend's stare, so intensely fixed on you yet no emotion can be read.

you let out a little sob, and chan can feel blood rush to his cock. he's dizzy now, feels so powerful with how you're looking at him. there's so much chan wants to do, with so little time and no idea where to start.

"hyung. say some-"

"quiet, hyunjin. didn't say you could talk. did i?" chan harshly cuts him off, glancing at him as he sits swakwardly on the edge of the bed.

"no, sir." hyunjin hangs his head, can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks in embarrassment as he sees you turn curiously to him in his peripheral vision.

"i told you to fuck her. not profess your love for her like some pussy drunk slut." chan's words sting, but he manages to say it in a cool, gentle tone, which somehow makes it worse for hyunjin, but he can't stop the shiver that goes down his spine. he simply nods, mumbling a small 'sorry, sir.'

you look back at chan, confused, but the tears have not yet stopped flowing, cheeks yet and silent sobs escaping you as he approaches you.

"and you? my poor, sweet, baby." chan's tone is surprisingly sickly sweet as he places a knee on the bed, hand reaching up to wipe away your tears. you can't help but nuzzle against his palm, desperate for some sort of affection from him, a silent promise that you were okay, that he could somehow forgive you despite the horrid thing you've done to him.

"what happened to my sweet, good girl, hmm? where'd she go?" oh chan feels so mean, guilt tripping you for something he's so masterfully orchestrated.

"i'm still your good girl." you whine, shifting so you're sitting on your knees, a pathetic attempt to prove your point, hoping to show chan you still remember how to be obedient.

"no, no." chan tuts at you, watching as fresh tears pool in your eyes, threatening to spill over and down your round, rosy cheeks. "my good girl would never do this." oh he's so mean, it makes him hard as a rock watching your lower lip slightly quiver.

"sir, please." you whine, your last attempt at proving your obedience to chan has hyunjin's eyes growing wide. huh. chan had you calling him sir too.

"you need to make it up to me. understand, baby?" chan whispers, leaning towards you, hand wrapped gently around your throat. not putting any pressure, but still a reminder that you were his. you nod in understanding, but chan just clicks his tongue at you.

"yes, sir. i understand."

chan seems pleased with your answer because he finally kisses you, soft lips latching onto yours and you suddenly realize it's the first time chan has kissed you in so long. your heart aches at the realization, and you start to sob against him.

"oh my poor baby," chan mumbles against your lips, cradling you into his arms, settling you in between his legs, your back pressed against his chest. "you just missed me, isn't that right angel?" he hums, gathering all your hair and swooping it down over your shoulder, allowing him access to one side of your neck. you rest your head back on his shoulder in instinct, hands searching for his.

"miss you so much, channie. m' so so sorry." you whimper, eyes closing at the feeling of chan's puffy lips leaving open mouthed kisses down your neck, onto your naked shoulder.

"no, no. no need to be sorry, baby. i'll take care of you now. we'll take care of you, promise." he whispers against your skin, arms wrapping around your waist and pressing you against his chest.

he reaches down with one hand to spread your legs, leaving your cunt exposed to the cold air and heated stare of hyunjin, who still sits cautiously on the edge of the bed, cock straining in his boxers. chan pins your legs under his, fingers now ghosting just below your belly button, leaving you squirming against him.

"hyunjin." chan calls, his tone low, commanding. "don't be selfish. don't you see how she needs you?"

oh chan is so fucking evil.

"tell him how much you need him, pretty."

"please, hyune." you call for him, and hyunjin groans low in his throat at how pathetically needy you look. "need you to do anything. touch me."

"no, i think you deserve hyunjin's mouth." chan grabs both of your hands, muttering a low "keep them there." as he pins it under your thighs.

"hyunjin. come over here." chan coos, watching with a small smirk as hyunjin crawls over, gaze still unsure and confused. his eyes meet yours, glazed over and still full with tears, and hyunjin can feel his heart tighten. oh, he can see why chan was being so mean now. you're too pretty when you cry. hyunjin lowers himself in between your thighs, nose just barely grazing your clit. he's just about to dive in when chan stops him with a scolding click of his tongue.

"what do you say, hyunjin?"

"thank you for the meal."

a gasp leaves you when hyunjin eagerly laps against your cunt, tongue licking once from your slit to your clit, groaning lowly at the taste.

"smell so good," hyunjin hums when he fully buries his in between your thighs, nose nudging at your clit while he thrusts his tongue in and out of your hole.

"what do you say, baby?" chan lightly slaps your thigh when you try to close them from the pleasure, pinning down and granting hyunjin more space to move around as he laps at your cunt like a starved man.

"th-thank you." you whimper, squirming under chan's hold as hyunjin's full lips wrap around your clit and suck, tongue flicking just the way you like and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

"so pretty like this, angel." chan hums, nudging your jaw with his nose, a gesture too romantic for the situation you find yourself in. "hyune's making you feel good, hmm?"

"yea, f-feels so good." you moan, hand instinctively going to reach for hyunjin's hair in an attempt to ground yourself, but chan holds you back. you whine from the back of your throat, and chan just clicks his tongue at you.

"is he making you feel better than me, hmm?"

chan's question catches you off guard, and you try to twist away from his hold. you feel like you can't breathe, from the sudden pressure hyunjin's hand places on your lower stomach, holding you down so he can lick into you more violently.

"n-no, channie. only you. you- you make me feel best." you're not sure if you even sound coherent, and chan only chuckles at you.

"but our hyune's doing such a good job." he coos down at the blonde who's eyes are fixed on you, so wide and full and glazed over and you feel the coil in your stomach tightening when hyunjin groans against your pussy.

then chan reaches down, fingers tangling in hyunjin's hair and holding him down against you. this takes both you and hyunjin by surprise, has you cumming violently in hyunjin's mouth as he ruts into the mattress, cock hard and raw and so painful.

"finish your meal, hyune." chan commands in a low tone, sending a shiver down your spine as hyunjin licks you clean, to the point of overstimulation that has you writhing in chan's hold.

"en-enough. please, too much!" you sob, closing your legs around hyunjin's head. he finally pulls away from you, lips wet and shiny with your slick, cheeks red from being in between your thighs.

"my good girl." chan hums, hand coming up to cup your cheeks, forcing you to turn your head towards him as he kisses you with vigor, leaving you breathless. "what do you say to hyunjin, love?"

"th-thank you, hyunjin." you mumble, limbs going slack from your orgasm.

"but we aren't done here, baby. get on all fours." chan moves from behind you, slipping his shirt off and throwing it off your bed. you whine when chan manhandles you on all fours, already tired from the effort of keeping yourself up.

chan's hand lands on your ass with a harsh slap, sending you forward and almost collapsing into the mattress.

"so hyunjin gets to fuck and taste you, and i get nothing? i thought you wanted to make it up to me, hmm?" chan harshly reminds you, palm of his hand going over the red mark on your cheek, soothing the sting with his gentle touch. you can only nod, arching your back against him and wiggling your hips in apology.

"see? you can be a good girl." chan hums, rolling his sweatpants down his legs before kicking it away. "now, you're gonna take what i give you while hyunjin fucks your mouth, okay baby?" his hands find purchase on your hips, gripping so tight as his fingers dig into your skin, making you wince. you can only nod, shy eyes looking up at hyunjin, who's already kneeling eagerly in front of you.

chan holds the base of his cock as he teases you, tip leaking with precum dragging against your folds until it catches at your entrance, but he refuses to slide in. he chuckles meanly when you squirm against him, pushing your ass against him in hopes of enticing him to just fuck you already.

"stop teasing," you whine, turning your head to look back at your boyfriend who only smiles at you. he leans forward, lips finding yours in a sweet kiss. "but it's my pussy, baby. i get to do what i want." he coos, licking at your lips before he pulls away. he lines himself up with your entrance, spitting directly on top of his cock before he slides in, pushing all the forward until his hips are flush with your ass.

the initial contact makes you both groan, jolting you forward and against hyunjin's thigh. he cups your cheek with his fingers, forcing you to look up at him while you adjust to chan's cock.

"gonna suck me off good, baby?" hyunjin whispers, thumb swiping across your lower lip before he pushes it in, lips instantly wrapping around the digit and sucking. you nod up at him, hooded eyes staring right into his soul and he feels guilt eat at his stomach. wasnt he just telling you he was in love with you just an hour ago? now here he was, about to fuck your face like you were nothing but a slut.

the thought makes his cock stir. he lifts his tip to slap against your cheek, sticky precum leaving a stain on your skin. he gently eases the head into your mouth, watching in awe as your mouth stretches around him.

from behind you, chan's trying to keep his composure, trying to resist the urge to just hold you down and fuck into you until you can't walk straight. but he decides to have mercy on you, pulling out to the tip before he harshly shoves himself in, making you moan in surprise around hyunjin's cock.

with chan's every thrust forward, it sends you to choke and gag even deeper around hyunjin's cock. your eyes start to water every time hyunjin's tip hits the back of your throat, and you struggle to breathe, but god hyunjin's moans were worth it. eyes closed and head thrown back, hyunjin loses himself in the feeling of your throat wrapped around his dick, and he almost wants to cry from how good it feels. teeth sinking into the plump of his lower lip he decides to risk it and look down at you, all teary eyed and obedient for him.

"chan, 'm gonna cum." hyunjin's voice is strained with the efforts of not blowing in your mouth. he pulls out of your mouth, edging himself as he slowly pumps his shaft with one hand, the other looking at chan for directions, a command.

"hold it." chan groans, not even sparing hyunjin a look as he continues to fuck you, tip kissing your cervix so good it brings tears to your eyes. he can start to feel your thighs shake, a telltale sign that you were close. chan decides to pull out, making you almost scream from the loss of contact. you open your mouth to protest but chan maneuvers you onto your back before you can get a word out. he gives hyunjin a look, and he immediately scoots closer to you, settles in between your legs as chan pumps himself from beside you.

"just the tip." chan tells the younger, nibbling on his lower lip when hyunjin slowly pushes into you. hyunjin wraps his hand around what isn't in your pussy, pumping himself as he watches you with hooded eyes.

"fuck, i'm gonna cum." hyunjin gasps, hips stuttering against his own hand as he empties himself in you, a high pitched moan leaving his lips as he holds himself over you with his other hand, careful not to crush you. hyunjin has no time to rest before chan is shoving him out of the way, eager to sink back into your pussy.

"my turn, baby. you can take my cum too, can't you?" he asks so sweetly, hyunjin's cum making it easier for him to slide in until his hips are flush against yours.

"cum for me channie," you coo, fingers tangling into his curly hair as you pull him in for a kiss.

he groans against your mouth as his thrusts pick up, heavy thighs slapping against yours at the sheer force as he fucks you deeper into the mattress.

"m-missed this pretty pussy." chan slurs, and you know he's close. always got this way before he came- he loses his filter and starts to ramble. "almost go-got me crying, baby. hyunjin can fuck you all he wants but you're.... you're fucking mine. and mine only. arent'cha baby?" he drools against your neck, hair tickling your chin as he thrusts frantically against you.

"only yours, channie. promise." you whisper against him, kissing his cheek as he looks up at you.

"i love you so much." he groans, hips stilling as he cums, making sure to finish as deep inside you as he can, silently wishing for it to catch so he could tie you to him forever.

there's a beat of silence after chan pulls out, nothing but the sound of heavy breathing filling the room. hyunjin lays beside you, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to still his pounding heart. you quickly glance at him, eyes landing on his plump lips as his tongue darts out to quickly lick it. you're about to turn to him when chan's arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him and overwhelming you with his embrace.

"me. only me." he mumbles into your hair as he wraps himself around you.

"only you, channie." you kiss his chest, clinging tightly onto him until there's no space between you.

"i'm- i'm sorry. i'm never around anymore." his voice breaks towards the end, and you look up at him, surprised to see a single tear rolling down his cheek.

you quickly shush him, grabbing his face with both hands and forcing him to look at you. "don't you dare. don't apologize channie, there's nothing to be sorry for." you whisper before you lean in and kiss him.

"you deserve someone who takes care of you, y/n. not someone you can barely call a boyfriend cuz he's missing so much from your life." chan sniffles, and hyunjin's heart drops to his stomach when chan's eyes flicker quickly to him.

but you shake your head, wiping away the tears that continue to flow from chan's face. "don't say that, baby. i knew from the start what i was getting into and it doesn't matter to me. not when i can call you mine." you coo, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. from behind you, hyunjin awkwardly shuffles and sits up on the bed.

"i... i guess i'll get going now." hyunjin's voice is small, but he doesn't move right away, as if hoping either of you would tell him to stay. and to his surprise-

"shut up and get back here," chan orders, his tone soft yet playful. "come here and cuddle my girlfriend or i'll kick your ass."

hyunjin's cheeks go warm when he cuddles closer to your back, arm wrapped around your waist in an awkward embrace. he flinches a little when he feels chan 's hand rests on his, fingers grazing his wrist as he hugs you too. then hyunjin can't stop the smile that finds its way to his lips, and he buries his face against your back, planting a soft kiss on your nape. briefly, he wonders what it would be like to call you his, for you to call him yours, if it was just the two of you safe in your little bubble. but then he looks at chan, who's eyes are closed in pure bliss and watches the steady rise and fall as he breathes and then there's a new thought. one he quickly shakes away as heat rushes to his cheeks.

subtly, he grazes his fingers against chan's palm.

you fall asleep like that, chan's strong arms wrapped securely around you with hyunjin's lips pressed to your skin. you feel at peace, sure in yourself that all the questions the three of you have would be answered when the sun rises.

taglist: @prettyboyyoongs @n034sy @felixbrownies143 @148-seungmin @beomgyusonlywife @kidrauhlschik @hwunjinhyang @ner9z @littlestarhyun @abcdefgiwsmcty thank u for letting me tag u !! lmk if u wanna be added or removed teehee

#seung mong!#skz smut #bangchan smut #hyunjin smut #bangchan x reader #bangchan imagines #bangchan angst #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin angst #fINALLY #pls this took me too long #idk why this fic makes me feel funny like #lowkey want them to become a throuple cuz hyunjin is IN LOVE

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