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himiribashira · 9 months

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Anniversary~

*•Miya Osamu•*

Warn:blood,death,sadness,tears

Gen:angst

Summary: Y/N which is YOU! is on a date with your boyfriend miya osamu,apparently you haven't reached your destination yet, which is where the date will take place and lets just say your 3rd annyversary, while you were walking in the dark alley you both heard the scream of the woman on the side of the dark building. seeking for help. so of course you who have a big heart and brave nerves immediately rush in letting go of your boyfriends hand.

when you were taken to the hospital, Osamu being the green flag boyfriend immediately called your family. Letting them know that it is an emergency so they immediately go to the hospital where u were.

there is osamu just sitting outside the operating room, he was depressed, he was so stressed, anxiety is starting to take him.osamu was staring at his arms and palms that covered in blood-your blood.his pupils where shaking,eyes threatening to fall in his cheeks,his body feels so weak he can’t even focus on his surroundings all he was thinking is that there’s a blood in his body,his girlfriend’s blood is cold.he was thinking about things if the woman he loves will survive? the woman who is important to him, the only woman who makes his heart beat crazy when you're standing in front of him,the woman who can understand him,the woman who can make him smile, the woman who doesn't know how or when to give up on things even when it's getting more and more difficult, the woman with just one smile you can't tell if she's hurt or happy,the woman who will find a way to fix their or her family's problems. He wonders if the person he loves will still be able to get married?

of course, for osamu yes, you can still do that. all the promises you made to each other will happen, you just have to hold on a little longer...no, your anniversary today,his plan is not just a normal date to be honest. You both will not only eat outside and wander around but his best plan is to propose....yes...propose..to the girl he loves the most,to the girl who deserves everything in the world (but for him you deserve him more than anything 😉).at your favorite place every time he goes on a date he wants everything to happen there. so whatever his brain thinks that bad events, what his heart says is different.

After almost half an hour, his twin brother Miya Atsumu and your family arrived. Atsumu immediately ran to Osamu to comfort him, hug him and let him know that he was right there by his side. ..that you will not leave him, that you will not let all your plans with him be ruined. that you are a strong woman, if you are stubborn to follow what Osamu wants for you, for sure you are also stubborn to give up on your current situation right now.

~3 days later~

everyone has been visiting you for the past 3 days, not even waking up on those days, your family visited on the 2nd day, even atsumu and their friends also visited that day, while your friends visited on the first day .

How about osamu?

don't worry, he was by your side the whole 3 days, atsumu also told him to go home to rest but he refused. he stayed by your side, waiting for you to wake up. he couldn't propose to you on the anniversary you see that's why he just kept waiting and waiting.

Osamu was sleeping next to you, his arms resting on your bed making it his own pillow for his head.

“W-where am I?”you whispered, you looked around and your eyes landed on the man lying next to you. you moved your hand close to him and caressed his hair so he woke up immediately.”hey baby, im glad your up, do you need anything? are you hungry? do you want me to buy you food? what do you want? tell me, please.”you smile because of his questions, his voice that you find it calming, sweet, and addictive makes you feel butterflies inside your tummy. it makes you feel safer more than anything, his touch on you, his kiss everything about him. make you feel better. you shook your head indicating its a no, you don't need anything but him by your side, you touch his cheek so his eyes widened for a second but also became soft and he grabbed your hand that was holding his cheek.”I’m so sorry Y/N, I-I couldn't even save you, I couldn't even stop the person who shot you, I couldn't even save the person who is important to me from danger. please babe forgive me, im really sorry I let you end up like this....if only I could have stopped you, if I had held your hand so tightly you wouldn't have been able to leave so quickly, this wouldn't have happe-“ you stop him from finishing his sentence when you said.

“it's not your fault ‘sumu, you're not at fault and don't think you're a bad boyfriend. don't blame yourself for something you know you can't prevent from happening. we both didn't know the person had a gun, and I know if you were in the same position you will not hesitate to help someone in need.”you smile at him.”and one more thing, I'm just glad that you weren't hurt either, I'm also happy that I was able to stop that person from hurting the girl....osamu.”you called his name in a low soft voice.”What is it Y/N?”he said tightening his grip on your hand.

“happy anniversary. I'm sorry if I didn't congratulate you, I'm very lucky to have you as my boyfriend, you're the person who changed me, the person who can never be equaled by another man. I know sometimes you get jealous when i have a close man, especially your brother, but trust me. everything about me is all yours, you know that ,thank you..thank you so much for being here by my side for 3 years...I know everything I say is not enough, i really wanted to do more than just this baby. i really do.”while you were staring into Osamu's eyes, suddenly your voice cracked at the last part you said, tears threatening your eyes to fall in your cheeks, and thats when you started swallowing hard hoping that your voice wouldn't crack... Osamu's eyes widened, his mind was confused as he looked at your teary eyes, he was hurt...damn, that's what he doesn't want to see you the most, he doesn't want to see you hurt, he wants to change the topic but he knows He can't do that right now, he wants to speak but he couldn't get the courage to say something. While his thoughts were deep about you, he snapped back when he realized everything you said.

you were confused when osamu suddenly stood up from his chair, he leaned forward to you and kissed you on the lips. you were shocked, your eyes widened but you just let him go. you wrapped your arms around osamu's neck while kissing him , tears began to fall in your eyes same with osamu,all your memories together, your promises that you will build a happy family, start your own business, get married in a simple place where your families and friends are together. your children will be well taken care of and you both will love them as much as you love each other. You will never forget all the laughs, teasing, and fighting,holding hands and the warmth of his hug.

after Osamu kissed you until you ran out of breath, he immediately broke your kiss and pressed his forehead to yours. “baby, I need to ask you something.” he said in a low voice, your tears and his tears still hasn't stopped drooling so you nodded to him,then he stood up properly and looked at you. Your eyes widened as he knelt on the floor and took out the small box.he cleared his throat and said.”L/N Y/N,will you marry me?”you smiled at him weakly and of course you answered yes. suddenly Osamu's heart beat faster, of course he was happy because you agreed to marry him... but... his heart beat faster because of his fear and nervousness, he stood up he immediately put the ring on your finger. osamu hugged you tighter kissing your lips, you both said to each other the words 'i love you' and 'i love you more'.

and with that, osamu didn't let go of you. when he felt your hug loosen up, sobs came out of his mouth, tears that he knew he couldn't stop began to fall again. he loves you, he loves you so much. he will do anything he's for you, he doesn't want to lose you but if he needs to let you go? he'll do it, it's painful for him especially your family and people important to you. but no, he really needs to let you go and let you rest.

•without you...Osamu Miya is nothing but a broken hearted man. A man who wouldn’t be able to smile and feel the word in love.

“I’ll love you forever,Y/N…”

#osamu miya #haikyuu osamu #angst oneshot #osamu x reader #miya atsumu #fanfic #hq osamu #sad but true #osamu x y/n #osamu x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #miya osamu

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khodorkovskaya · 10 months

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How is the church drama going these days

today was such a good sunday omg the drama was 🤌🤌🤌

the singing wasn't great today bc there were no guys. well there were 3, but one wasn't there all the time, one sang badly and one was decent but too quiet. i recorded a little audio so that you can like feel the vibe

yeah, tbh the singing wasn't on point and i personally really flopped. but the choir director is always there to save the day, she's amazing!

but back to the drama!

so last week father emilian went on a pilgrimage to italy and greece. and they went to this monastry that was founded by some saint (i don't remember his name unfortunately). but this saint loved praying so much that he started to smell! and okay, father emilian's words, not mine. but apparently relics give off this like strong and holy smell. but this saint was so godly that he started to smell when he was still alive.

and i was trying not to laugh so hard. cos like. there was just this stinky guy. like.

anyway, father emilian brought back essential oils again. but this time instead of distributing little bottles of it, he drew crosses on everyone's forehead.

10/10 i look very shiny now

he also talked about how so many people come to him like "daddy, i have it all, a job, a house, a husband. but my soul feels empty". and he was like "has anyone else felt that way?" and someone in the crowd shouted MEEE. i was like wow how brave. but yeah apparently the stinky saint's essential oil is supposed to cure emptiness of the soul.

and the lady who reads the prayer at the end got so emotional when talking about the trip to greece. she was like WE PRAYED FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

and im so excited for next week bc it's gonna be father paul's 50th priest-anniversary. and the higher up priest from london is gonna come visit. and all the kids who are at orthodox summer camp are gonna come back for one day to celebrate. it's gonna be huge. so yeah, im so excited! im sure it's gonna be all kinds of crazy!

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gojology · 3 years

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Lovebirds.

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | omg this is my first request. ilysm anon, im now feelin super cool. also, i just realized i put recc (as in recommended) instead of requests. i’m super stupid LOL. anyways, im touch starved too dw bby, i’m servin u up a long one since i rlly like this request and after all u r my first! 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Gojo x Wife! Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 2307 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | None! 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | Coming home from a long mission in America, precisely 1 year, you’re excited to catch up on Gojo’s students, Nanami, and just Gojo in general. Leaning out of the car window, resting your arm against your purse, you sighed. A humid wind brushed against your skin, tickling you. It had been quite a while since you had been in Japan, spending almost a year on a huge mission in America. You had killed a battalion worthy amount of special grades. You spent most of your time in America in mostly horribly rundown places, equally as infested with curses. Although you found yourself enjoying America’s natural beauty, further away from the city life that many of the Americans found themselves enjoying, you much preferred Japan. after all, it was your home, and where you met Gojo Satoru. It would be another day until you could return, and you had gone through hundreds of scenarios of finally being in his arms again, but nonetheless, you were ecstatic at the thought of your husband’s touch. Your phone’s notification chimed loudly, you threw your phone onto the other seat, heart jumping up to a high rate. It was a recording of Satoru loudly yelling, “OPEN YOUR FUCKING PHONE!” with a flurry of giggles afterwards. Ijichi jumped, turning left and right. Whispering under his breath, he let out an exasperated sigh, switching the music channel. The recording was mostly because of the time you had to ghost him due to work. Gojo had snuck on and recorded it, doing some magical tech stuff and giving you the custom notification sound. You had kept it that way ever since, since secretly, you enjoyed that you were so badly wanted by Gojo, that, and you had no idea how to change it back. But the custom notification was sweet as well. You smiled to yourself every time you heard it, a familiar twinge of pain flashing inside of you whenever you realized you wouldn’t be able to see him for a while. Well, today, and the days after that would be different. You’d be able to finally see Gojo again, and his new students that he always frantically texted you about. Nanami, an old friend of Gojo, and also an old friend of yours, would also be there to welcome you back, you found yourself reminiscing about them. You had heard so much about them, one of the kids being Sukuna’s vessel, you wondered how Gojo could contain such a fear, being around the kid at all times, he always told you about how the kid was actually energetic and happy and an overall great kid, you had heard about Nanami, finally coming back into the jujutsu sorcerer field of work, even though you always found that he still had a thing for finances. You shook your head, “Save that shit for later, (Y/N).” muttering to yourself, you didn’t want to think of anything but Gojo, after all, it had been one fucking year of being deprived of the man you loved most. You were practically starving for the guy, in more ways than one. Ijichi gulped, facing towards you, one hand on his steering wheel, “Forgive me Mrs. Satoru, but um.. Forgive me if I misheard, but I think I heard your phones notification go off.. Due to the ah- incredibly loud profanity.” Now just realizing that you had completely forgotten about the phone notification, you nodded your thanks to Ijichi, a warmth rushing to your cheeks before opening up your phone. In the small, rounded box containing Gojo’s message, he wrote in all caps, “SUGAR, MY BELOVED, MY QUEEN, HOW CLOSE ARE YOU? I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT I’M LITERALLY BOUNCING UP AND DOWN IN OUR BED.” Smiling to yourself, you furiously texted back, “Calm down honeybun, I’ll be there in like, 24 hours, I’m not even fucking close.” You almost instantly got a DM back, making you jump a bit in your seat. Even with the 5 years of friendship, and the 3 years of relationship, and the 2 years of marriage, he still almost always texted you back as quickly as possible. “God I can’t fucking wait for you to meet the kids! We’ll keep it a surprise, yeah? We have a bunch of treats, and we also got the kids to get some gifts for you! How thoughtful aren’t they? They’re MY offspring by the way, so like, you know, whenever you want a kid, it’s your call ;)” You snorted to yourself, smiling. He genuinely seemed so excited, and it was all shining through even though it was from a screen. “Maybe in a few years, I don’t even wanna imagine a little you.” Despite the excited, bubbling feeling brewing bigger and bigger in your stomach, you figured it’d be best to sleep before the chaos. Happily sighing, you laid down, using your purse as a pillow, drifting into a blissful sleep. ‧₊˚✩彡. You awoke to a sudden halt, Looking around your surroundings, you figured you were home. Ijichi looked like he was damn near about to fall asleep on the steering wheel. Well, maybe that’s what 24 hours of constant driving did to you. You fished around in your purse, silently cursing looking for a water bottle. “Here, Ijichi, looks like you ran a marathon.” you grinned, handing the slightly crumped water bottle to him. He beamed as if a guardian angel had descended down and gave him a trillion dollars. “Mrs. Satoru! You really mean it? The ride was nothing, I was merely instructed to do so and I would’ve done it happily regardless.” You waved your hand, as a dismissal of the conversation. “You overwork yourself Ijichi, go catch a break, on me. If Gojo tears you apart, tell him he won’t be getting any pussy from me for another year.” Ichiji nodded vigorously, before dashing off, probably towards a massage center, God that guy needed it. ‧₊˚✩彡. Gojo frantically hopped up and down, it had been a day, now he was just waiting for you to bust through the door in your wild hair, his legs sprawled onto the whole of a couch, he stared at the ceiling, a dopey smile spread across his face. “Satoru. (Y/N) will not even want to be associated with you, looking at your current state.” he remarked, staring at the sorcerer with his strikingly dead eyes. “Nanami, how the fuck am I supposed to act calm?! I’ve waited for this moment for ONE YEAR! Does my hair look normal?!” “Your hair looks just like an albino porcupine, just as usual.” Flipping the page of his newspaper, he sighed, rubbing his temples. “I will never understand how someone like (Y/N) would be.. Interested in you, Satoru.” Gojo paid no attention to the insult Nanami had so clearly made, his ears were perked up, eavesdropping on a distant conversation coming closer and closer. “Gojo-Senpai was telling me about this movie while training my cursed energy! He basically spoiled the whole thing but he told me that the main character was super annoying but apparently she dies in the end in the most gruesome way possible! It’s worth the watch, your soul will feel cleansed as soon as you see her lifeless body!” “Yuuji, you literally spoiled the whole thing to me just now.” Fushiguro calmly stated, looking bored out of his mind. “Oh, oops.” Yuuji rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled coyly, tightly hugging his present. “What’s with the decorations, Gojo-Sensei?” inquired Nobara, stroking her warm toned brown hair. She had figured it was something about the presents that Gojo had forced the trio to get, but he never told them who it was for. The room had been decorated with various balloons and confetti, scattered about, on the table and the ground. A cake box wrapped with a gigantic bow limply guarded whoever was brave enough to get their hands on something that Gojo seemed to be protecting with his life. A pink table cover with a crudely drawn Gojo and what would seem to be a girl, a heart in the middle of the pair. In a horrible font with an even awfuller text, the text on top and at the bottom of the drawing proudly stated: “WELCOME BACK QT” “-YOU’RE HUSBAND AND THE CREW” Nobara stood in distaste, trying to disguise the face she made. The drawing, the misused you’re, and the overall poor design choice was enough to almost make her vomit. Nobara, about to make her distasteful statements about the whole mess, was suddenly shut up as Gojo started hopping up and down, looking directly at his phone. “SHE’S COMING! SHE’S COMING! EVERYONE IN YOUR PLACES!” Now, seeing Gojo freak out wasn’t outside of the ordinary, but it was to see him freak out to this extent. He was hopping up and down, blabbering about a certain woman named (Y/N). Nobara was pretty sure that if a curse attacked right now, even a special grade comparable to the one with the uncomplete domain could completely crush Gojo, the guy seemed completely unaware of the example he was setting to the kids. Even Yuuji stood in disbelief, and he had seen multiple tantrums by Gojo. Nanami, however, licked his finger and flipped the newspaper page. A face of boredom obviously displayed. Nobara, preparing herself to chew Gojo out about how utterly stupid and embarrassing he made the whole class of jujutsu sorcerers look like, stopped wide eyed as she looked at the doors slide wide open. ‧₊˚✩彡. You stood, shyly, looking at the ground. Gojo dove headfirst into your arms, laughing like a maniac and digging his face into your shoulder. You breathed in his scent, scanning the room. Three teens, sat wide-eyed, backs straight as they looked at you with eyes you couldn’t quite read. All three of them held presents. The one with eyelids underneath his eyes (which you assumed was Yuuji, the vessel of Sukuna) eyed you curiously, his eye twitched. The other boy, one with wild black-blue hair, sat mouth agape, before closing it. He looked like he was about to say something, before stopping entirely and hugging his present closer to his chest. The warm haired girl darted her eyes between you two, seemingly trying to put the puzzle together. Nanami put the newspaper down, glancing over to you two. “This is obviously Gojo-Senpai’s wife. He hasn’t seen her in many months, and as you can see, really really misses her.” he paused, a small smile spreading on his face, a rare sight. “I don’t even know why myself, but what can you do with lovebirds?” he thought aloud, his attention now focused to the two of you furiously making out, hands in places Yuuji and the crew didn’t need to see. “Satoru, (Y/N), leave the kissing for later. Don’t you see the kids?” You detached yourself from his mouth, panting for breath. The air being exhaled out of his nose fanned over your face, you had just now realized the kids again. “Satoru, lets sit down. I bet the kids are surprised. “ you motioned to the couch. Gojo whined. “What? They’re not that dumb, they can tell you’re my wife or at least, you’re my girlfriend, just by the way we kiss right? Isn’t this telling enough?” “You didn’t tell them about me, ever did you?” He sighed in defeat, holding tightly onto your arm as you dragged him over and sat down on the comfortable couch, opposite of Yuuji and the crew. Nanami scooched over, before finally getting up to pull another chair from somewhere else. Grunting, he excused himself from the room. “YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND, GOJO-SENPAI? AND DIDN’T TELL US?” Yuuji questioned, looking like he was about to faint. Gojo laughed, snuggling deeper onto you, almost like a koala. “She’s my wife, aren’t you, sugar? Did you even pay attention to anything Nanami said? He literally said she was my wife.” Megumi made an obvious gagging sound, but even he didn’t seem as bored as he was usually. He actually looked intrigued. “Why didn’t you tell us, Gojo-Senpai?” the girl nagged, slamming her fist down on the table. Gojo smiled, “Uh, well, I wanted it to be a surprise when she came back.” “Couldn’t you have told us that you had a wife or something?” Megumi butt in. The door slid open, Nanami coming in with a wooden stool. “Knowing Gojo-Senpai, that probably went over his head.” grunting as he placed the wooden stool down and sat, he opened his newspaper again. “Where do you guys know eachother?” “Was Gojo-Senpai handsome back in highschool too?” “Do you know what lipgloss Gojo-Senpai wears?” “Gojo-Senpai, how did you know you loved her?” “Gojo-Senpai, can we eat now?” “Do you know why Gojo has such a horrible sweet tooth?” Before you could even respond, Nanami put his hand up. “Now, now, lets let the happy couple settle down.” he cleard his throat, not even making eye contact with anyone but the newspaper. An audible chorus of groans sounded, “What do you expect us to do? We literally just met her!” moaned Yuuji. “Weren’t you the one that literally asked if we could eat yet?” Yuuji immediately shut up afterwards. “Yuuji, she just came back from a 1 day trip. She should be laying down comfortably with Gojo-Senpai and they should be catching up. You’ll have the opportunity to talk to her and learn about her later. Right now she needs space.” “But-” Nobara whined, clasping her hands together. Nanami turned to Fushiguro, but even he had his mind set. “I didn’t even begin to think that Gojo had a wife. I really want to know more about her, if you think about it, this is all Gojo-Sensei’s fault.” Nanami rubbed his temples, staring at the two of you for backup, realizing that you two were making out again. Nanami sighed, 10 years later and you two were still the same.

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)

Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.

Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato

Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you

Read it on Ao3

Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.

The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.

But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.

People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.

But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.

And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.

At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.

No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.

And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.

Tom <3 sent you a message

Grinning like a fool, he opens it.

Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck

Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.

He quickly types a reply.

You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen

Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today

You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)

Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude

You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation

Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩

Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.

You: how about "sir"

Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

Andy smirks at himself.

You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?

Tom types for just a little longer this time.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

----

Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.

The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".

Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"

"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.

Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-

"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."

Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.

"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.

"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.

---

Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.

Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.

He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.

They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.

"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.

"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."

"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."

Andy looks away. "It was nothing."

"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"

Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."

"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"

"Oh boy."

Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."

Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"

Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."

Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.

"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.

Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"

Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"

"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."

"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."

Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."

Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"

"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"

Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."

Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."

"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."

Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."

"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"

"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.

Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.

They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.

Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."

"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."

"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.

"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.

"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."

"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."

Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."

And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.

"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.

He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.

"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"

"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"

"Yes- yes, Sir."

He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."

Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.

Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.

Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.

Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.

"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.

"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."

Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"

Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."

"Good, then get to it."

Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"

"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."

"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.

"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"

"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."

Andy smiles. "No."

Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."

"I'm- I'm so close-"

Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."

"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"

"No."

Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.

"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"

"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."

Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.

"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."

Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.

Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."

"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.

He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.

And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.

----

A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.

"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.

"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.

"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"

Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."

"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."

"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."

"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.

"I'm just glad I could help," he says.

"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."

"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."

"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.

#it lives #tom sato #tomoichi sato #andy kang #tom x andy #andy x tom #it lives in the woods #ilitw #it lives beneath #ilb #it lives anthology #smut #i am back on my bullshit ig

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twiceinadream · 4 years

Text

Twice React: Fem! S/O Confesses They Love Them

Requested: Yup

Request: Twice reaction to fem/best friend confessing to them. (Written as a: High School AU)

a/u: It took 2 months but I finally finished a react and they ended up being pretty long. But, I hope you guys like them since this was one of the hardest prompts I’ve had to write, since some of them are based off real ways I’ve confessed to crushes. I want to thank you all again for 2k followers! I love you guys! Stay safe and wash your hands.

Category: Fluff and Angst (There’s only one)

Nayeon

“I love me too.”

The two of you had known each other longer than you could remember. And now you hoped that you could make her your forever. “Am I really that hard to love?” Nayeon sobbed as you held her close to your chest, your best friend’s tears soaking your shirt. You sighed, “Nayeonie, look at me,” Nayeon blinked back tears as she looked up to meet your eyes, “How could you ever think you’re hard to love? You’re smart, beautiful, kind, literally every amazing trait under the sun. But, you somehow always find a way to waste your time on people who don’t deserve you.” The older girl looked at you in confusion as she pulled away from you slightly, “What do you mean, ‘Wasting my time’, Y/N?” You let out a frustrated sigh as you pointed between the two of you, “Like what we’re doing right now. I sit on the sidelines watching your heart getting broken over and over by people who barely even give a damn, and when they’re done ripping your heart to shreds I’m here to pick up the pieces. But, no matter how much you think you can see love. You’re blind to when it’s staring you in the face, Im Nayeon.” The room went silent as you could see your words being processed by the girl across from you, “What are you getting at, Y/N?” You pinched the bridge of your nose before throwing your hands up, “How can you not see that, I’m in love with you!?” As the words left your mouth, you felt as if you couldn’t breathe. The room was silent aside from Nayeon’s sniffling, you ran a hand over your face as you looked at your best friend, “Look, Nayeon. I’m really sorry I…” Before you could finish your apology, Nayeon’s lips were on yours. She seemed to take all the air from your lungs as you melted into the kiss. When she pulled away, Nayeon couldn’t help but laugh at the dazed look in your eyes, “I guess we’re both blind to love when it’s staring us in the face.” You gave Nayeon a confused look that made her roll her eyes, “I’m in love with you too, Pabo.”

Jeongyeon

“No wonder you’ve been being weird!”

Yoo Jeongyeon wasn’t easy. But then again, when have you ever looked for easy. “Y/N. Y/N. Earth to Y/N!” You shook your head as you realized you had been staring at your best friend, Jeongyeon. She looked at you with concern as you sighed. “Sorry, Jeong. I’m just a little distracted.” Jeongyeon let out a laugh, “It seemed a little more than that, Y/N. You were staring at me for a good five minutes,” Your best friend smiled as she reached over to ruffle your hair, “From the way you were looking at me I could have sworn you must be in love with me.” Your eyes widened as you cleared your throat awkwardly, “What? No,” You pushed Jeongyeon’s shoulder playfully, “you’re crazy, Yoo.” However, Jeongyeon just rolled her eyes and turned away from you. You wanted to facepalm, ‘I’m such an idiot! There’s no way she doesn’t know I love her.’ Suddenly you felt Jeongyeon turn to face you again, her eyes wide as she looked at you, “What did you just say?” You blinked as you stared at her, “Please don’t tell me I said that out loud.” You suddenly felt the urge to cry as tears began to fill your eyes and you wanted to get as far away from Jeongyeon as fast as possible. “Y/N wait.” Jeong grabbed your wrist and pulled you back onto the bed making you lose your balance and fall on her, “Jeong…” But before you could stop her, Jeongyeon’s lips were on yours, your eyes widening before leaning into the kiss. Your guy’s breaths were labored as you pulled away, your foreheads resting against each other’s. “I love you too.” You wanted to say more but, Jeongyeon had pulled you into another kiss and you knew. She really did love you too.

Momo

“Doesn’t this mean we kiss now?”

Momo could be oblivious. And apparently so could you. You yawned as your eyes began to blur the text in front of you, “This was a stupid idea.” You groaned as you looked at the time on your phone, Momo would be here any minute now and the anticipation was starting to kill you. You had come early in the morning to put your concessfession of love for your best friend, at her locker: eight red carnations (one for each year the two of you had known each other). And the longer you sat in the library by yourself your nerves were starting to get the better of you, until a pair of hands came from behind and covered your eyes, “Guess who?” You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you breathed in, “Let me guess…Momoring?” Your best friend laughed as she pulled her hands away from your eyes and took the seat next to you, your eyes still focused on the textbook, “You’ll never guess what I found at my locker this morning.” Momo gushed as she sat back in her chair, a giddy smile on her face, “Someone likes me, Y/N!” A soft smile grew on your face as you flipped the page, “That’s great, Momo! Red carnations always seemed to bring out your eyes. Do you have any idea who it is?” There was a long pause before you finally looked up from the textbook to face your best friend, a look of disbelief on her face, “How did you know they were red carnations?” You felt your breath hitch as you looked around Momo to see that there were no flowers in sight, you immediately felt like you wanted to slap yourself, “Momo, wait. Before you say anything, I understand if you don’t feel…” The shrill sound of the bell cut you off as a defeated sigh left your lips, you refused to look at the girl beside you as you closed your textbook and picked up your bag, when you were pulled back by your wrist and a quick peck was placed on your cheek. Your jaw dropped as your hand flew up to touch the spot Momo had just kissed, your eyes meeting Momo’s as a heavy blush set on both your cheeks. Momo let out a light laugh as she began heading towards her class, “I’ll see you after class, Y/N-chan. Don’t keep me waiting.”

Sana

*Internally gay panicking*

Sana was the sweet talker of the two of you. But today, it seemed like you had her tongue tied. You and Sana walked in silence as the April breeze carried the scent of the cherry blossoms blooming on the trees around the two of you. The sight could only be described as straight out of a fairytale, and Sana was the Princess to complete it. You didn’t know if it was the milk you had drank earlier or the courage that was bubbling in your stomach, but either way you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You were a few paces behind your best friend as you looked down and spoke, “Satang, I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a long time.” You let out a breath as you continued, “I like you. Like a lot, and way more than just a friend. Dare I say I’m in love with you.” You squeezed your eyes shut as you braved yourself to finally look back at Sana, a confused look on her face as she stared at you before taking an earbud out of her ear, “What did you say, Y/N?” You felt your mind go blank as your heart sank in your chest, “Um...I said I have to go, my mom called.” Sana gave you a smile as she pulled you into a hug, “Okay, call me when you get home. See you tomorrow!” You gave her a small wave as you began backtracking the way you had come, ‘I’m so stupid!’ You sighed in defeat when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, it was from

Sana: I heard you, you Aho. And I like you too <3.

You felt a smile break out on your lips as your heart swelled in your chest, ‘Huh, I guess fairy tales really do have happy endings.’

Jihyo

“I can't believe you remembered.”

Jihyo was like the universe. And you were lost in space. You have been hopelessly in love with your best friend for years, since it seemed humanly impossible to not fall for, Park Jihyo. But, even through the years you had never plucked up the courage to ask her, until the two of you had stumbled upon a flash mob proposal in a mall, Jihyo saying how she always dreamed of a big show as a confession of love. So with that in mind, your plan was finally in motion. “Y/N. Y/N.” Jihyo waved a hand in front of your face as she brought you back to reality, “Are you doing okay? Your hand is shaking.” Your eyes widened as you pulled your hand away from hers, shaking off your nerves, “What? Must have been a breeze. Can we get going? There’s something I really want to show you.” You shot a smile at your best friend as she let you pull her through the aquarium, going past various exhibits until you stopped at a large tank filled with various fish and plants. You quickly looked at Jihyo as you spotted two fish chasing each other in the tank, before pointing them out to her, “Hyo, look at that!” You drew her attention away from the divers that you could see in your peripheral, ‘The moment of truth.’ You looked at the opposite end of the tank when you felt Jihyo poke your shoulder, “Y/N, look! They’re waving at us.” You looked to the divers who were now in front of the two of you, holding a rolled banner in their hands. As they started to open it up, a crowd began to gather to see what was going on; when you suddenly felt Jihyo drop your hand.

The banner read: Hey, Hyo. I didn’t know how else to tell you I loved you, but I have for a long time. Will you be my girlfriend? -Y/N.

While she was distracted a lady that worked there quickly ran over to give you a bouquet of flowers to give, when Jihyo finally looked at you; tears in her eyes. You took a breath to calm your racing heart, “Park Jihyo. You have been my best friend for years and frankly I’ve been crazy in love with you from almost the first day we met. And, until the day we saw that proposal in the mall I had no idea how to tell you until now.” You gave Jihyo a small smile, “So. Will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” The tension in the air was almost suffocating until Jihyo finally answered, “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend, Y/N, took you long enough.” You let out a laugh, which was silenced when Jihyo suddenly pulled you into a kiss. Rounds of applause sounded as the onlookers cheered for the two of you, your foreheads resting against each other as you pulled away, “Well lucky for you, Hyo. I’m done waiting.

Mina

“Wanna stay the night?”

Midnight confessions were always the best kind of confessions. You couldn’t put your finger on what exactly felt off, but even with how familiar the situation was, something just felt wrong. Your head rested on your best friend’s stomach as she ran her fingers through your hair, something she had always done when you couldn’t sleep as she hummed an old Japanese lullaby. “Want to talk about it?” Mina asked softly as she continued running her fingers through your hair. “I don’t know if I can, Minari,” you closed your eyes as you let out a sigh, “I know I can trust you with my life, but I can’t seem to tell you how much I love you. What is wrong with me!?” You ran a hand over your face as you sighed again, not noticing how Mina’s hand had stopped midway through your hair. Your words ringing in her ears as it seemed as though you hadn’t noticed you said it. It wasn’t until her silence became more quiet than usual did you sit up to face her, noticing how her eyes were wide as she looked at you. “Are you okay?” Concern clear in your voice as Mina swallowed. “You love me, Y/N?” You felt your heart drop as Mina’s soft words seemed to slap you in the face, “W...what?” Mina pursed her lips, “You said it earlier. You really love me.” You squeezed your eyes shut hoping you were just in a bad dream, but Mina was still there when you opened them, “I’m not going to deny what I said,” you pinched the bridge of your nose, “because, yes. I...I do love you, Mina. I have for a long time.” You gave her a small smile as you waited for her response, but instead of words, you felt Mina’s arms around you as she pulled you to lay down. Your head on her chest, as her heartbeat thumped in your ears. Before you could ask what she was doing, you felt her place a kiss on your head as she whispered, “Get some sleep, Y/N. I don’t need my girlfriend getting bags under her eyes because I kept her up all night.” You felt as if your jaw dropped at her words before responding, “Trust me, Mitang. Having bags under your eyes would be the least of your worries if I kept you up all night.” Mina blushed as she slapped you playfully, “Don’t push your luck tonight, L/N.” You chuckled as your eyes began to close, “I don’t need to push my luck, Myoui. I’m already the luckiest girl in the world.”

Dahyun

“Finally!”

You had loved Dahyun for a long time. And it seemed she had loved you too. The two of you were sitting on opposite sides of your bed as Dahyun continued to pout, “Come on, Y/N-ah. Why can’t you just tell me?” You crossed your arms, “‘Cause. It’s a secret.” Your best friend copied your pose and crossed her arms as well, “But, we’re best friends, we have no secrets! And I let you keep it a secret for four years. Please just tell me.” You huffed, “Fine. I’ll let you guess.” Dahyun smiled as she pursed her lips in thought, “Is it...Nayeon Unnie,” You shook your head, “Jeongyeon Unnie, Momo Unnie, Sana Unnie? Oh, Jihyo Unnie?” You let out a laugh as you shook your head, “No, no, no, and very funny, but no.” Dahyun raised an eyebrow, “Mina Unnie? Chaeyoung? Tzuyu?” You once again shook your head ‘no’ making Dahyun lay back on your bed in thought, “But, if it’s not any of them. That only leaves…” Realization seemed to hit Dahyun as you rubbed the back of your neck, “Yeah. Are you mad?” Dahyun blinked as she looked back at you, a smile forming on her lips, “Y/N-ah, how could I be mad? I’ve listened to you be smitten over this ‘girl’ for four years and I find out that my crush likes me back, of course I’m not mad.” As you listened to Dahyun’s words your eyes widened, “Are you saying?” Dahyun nodded as she smiled, “Yes, Y/N. I like you too.”

Chaeyoung

“The little things, huh?”

The pun was coincidental. But falling for Chaeyoung was not part of the plan. Your thoughts seemed to race faster than you could process them as you looked around the school in search of your best friend. Unsurprisingly finding Chaeyoung in the art room, her back facing the door as she doodles in the sketchbook in front of her. “Son Chaeyoung.” You deepen your voice to imitate the school’s principal, making her jump. “Y/N!” You laughed as you pulled out the chair beside her as she slapped your arm, “You made me mess up my drawing.” Chae pouted as you poked her cheek, “Pouting doesn’t work anymore, Chaengie. I’m immune.” A proud smile on your face as Chaeyoung continued to pout, your facade fading, making her smile, “Ha! I win! No one can refuse my pout.” You rolled your eyes as a nervous look began to creep out into your face, Chaeyoung noticing it in an instant, “Y/N? Are you okay?” You sighed as you decided to just bite the bullet, “I don’t know why, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realized. I really need to appreciate the small things in life and take chances while I have them. So,” you purse your lips as you look into your best friend’s eyes, “that’s why I’m gonna finally just spit it out. I like you a lot, Chae. And it’s way more than just a friend.” You let out a breath as Chaeyoung looked you in the eyes, a smile on her lips, “Really? You just had to start off with ‘the little things’.” You laughed as Chaeyoung pulled you by the collar of your shirt and into a kiss, silencing you. “Pabo.” You chuckled as Chae pulled you in again. “But, you’re my, Pabo.”

Tzuyu

“Promise me.” (Whoops, my finger slipped)

Tzuyu has been your best friend since you had met that day in the classroom. And now you hoped this wouldn’t be where it ended. It was a week before graduation and the butterflies of finally being free weren’t the only thing filling your stomach. You had been planning the way you would finally confess to your best friend, Tzuyu, for months and you wanted to take your chance before she left for Korea, to chase her dreams. So now you were left with your own thoughts as you waited in the now empty Chemistry class where the two of you had met on the first day of school, four years ago. Your heart seemed to beat out of your chest as the door to the room began to open, revealing the gorgeous face of your best friend. Tzuyu looked around the room to see that all the tables were pushed to the side as you stood in the center of the room, a bouquet of purple hibiscuses in your hand, “Hey, Tzu.” You set down the flowers before reaching down to your phone on a chair as you started playing a slow song, extending your hand to her, “Care to dance?” Tzuyu looked at you in surprise before tentatively taking your hand as you pulled her into a slow rhythm, you took a deep breath before looking her in the eyes, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” The girl in your arms raised an eyebrow at you but nodded, “Four years ago we met in this classroom and have been best friends ever since. But, four years ago I also fell in love with the shy girl in this classroom and kept my feelings to myself till life finally kicked me in the ass to confess. And I’m here to say that, I’m head over heels for you, Tzumong.” At your confession, Tzuyu suddenly stopped. Hurt evident on her face, “Y/N. I’m so sorry,” the hope in your eyes began to fade as you felt your heart sink, “but I can’t accept your confession. When I leave for Korea I can’t ask you to uproot everything you’ve worked so hard for here, just to watch me chase a dream. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to you.” You and Tzuyu both had tears brimming in your eyes as she placed a kiss on your forehead, “But, I need you to promise me something, Y/N.” You nodded, “Anything.” Tzuyu let out a breath, “Promise me, you won’t wait.” You bit your lip to distract yourself from the pain of your heart breaking, “I can’t make promises I know I won’t keep. But don’t worry about me and go chase your dream.” Tzuyu’s lip wobbled as she wrapped you into a tight hug, tears soaking your shirt. Her voice shook as she pulled away and headed for the door. A longing look in her eyes as she looked back at you, “In another life, Y/N, I promise: I’ll love you too.”

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kirishwima · 4 years

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RFA + minor trio (or duo, if you don’t wanna do Vand.) with an foreign MC who always keeps at least 3 knives on them at all times. And knows how to handle guns. And is overall just badass

ooo im just imagining a badass Black Widow-esque MC lol, i love it! I love even more how there's no explanation as to how or why they know how to handle guns and knives, even better 😆

YOOSUNG:

* Baby boy is SPOOKED

* MC is so sweet, gentle and patient with him...he never once thought of them as anything less than an innocent angel

* Yet one night they're lounging around at his apartment, when there's a loud thud from the other room that startles them both

* Yoosung's scared, sure, but he tries to gulp down his fear, ready to protect MC if need be-that's what a good boyfriend should do afterall!

* Well...or not, seeing how MC is already up from the couch with a knfie in each hand-where did those even come from?! Already taking cautious steps towards the door the thud came from

* They kick the door open with their leg, brandishing their knives when they check the perimeter, realising it's just a box with trinkets that fell from the edge it sat on

* Yoosung has...a lot of questions

*But well, MC turns and looks at him with their usual sweet expression and he just swallows down any comments he had. Why ask what doesn't need to be answered?

* From now on he's always cowering behind MC when something spooks him, and threatens Zen or Seven with MC when they tease him

ZEN:

* He got a new role as the villain that shoots the hero at the final scene-the director asked him to use a real gun but without any bullets inside to 'make it more realistic', or so he said

* Well, Zen has never even held a gun before; no just because he rode a motorcycle doesnt mean he was some gangster that shot up banks, like Seven insists he must've

* So when he comes home baffled, flopping down on the couch besides MC, they of course ask him what's wrong, why he's frowning the way he did.

* When he explains what's wrong, MC shrugs. 'That's all? I can teach you' they say, and shoot up from the couch, leaving Zen to stare at their retreating figure with wide eyes.

* MC...would teach him how to use a gun? Sure they were really cool and he could tell they feared near next to nothing, but guns...?

* Well, he's even more baffled when MC comes out of their bedroom with a gun in each hand, twirling them around their fingers with practices ease

* 'Come on, get up' they say and not to the backdoor, 'we're going to learn how to shoot-without bullets though, because while I love you, I don't trust you with a loaded gun just yet' they add with a teasing smirk.

* Well, Zen follows along like a wobbly noodle, his hands shaking as MC hands him a pistol, guiding him through to the correct stance and hold of it. He has so, so many questions, but none of them come out, lodged in his throat like a fish bone.

* He can't say he hates this though-the way MC stands behind him, leaning one leg between his to bend his knees, how they wrap their hands around his forearms, snaking from behind his back as they hold the gun together, MC's voice breathy beside his ear.

* "Baby...be honest with me. Are you some secret foreign spy or something?"

* MC laughs, soft and devious and like music to Zen's ears.

* "That's for me to know and for you to find out" they say with a teasing wink, their accent thicker than usual, and oh boy-if Zen has a Beast inside him, then MC has a whole darn savage garden, and he's more than eager to unleash it.

JAEHEE:

* She notices bits and pieces of MC that puzzle her; their hyper-alertness to the tiniest sound, their stance-tall, proud, always ready to pounce like an alpha predator, how they'll hide Jaehee behind them at the slightest sign of danger; Jaehee figured MC was just a very cautious person, but realises soon enough that there must be something more than that happening.

* She finds out when, one day, a group of raggedy looking men come into their cafe, the one leading the pack wearing sunglasses and a cap as if to remain anonymous, speaking loudly in a different language Jaehee couldn't quite pin-point, but figured it mist be Slavic.

* She didn't pay any mind-MC was up front as the cashier today, and Jaehee was in the back preparing drinks, so she wouldn't be the one dealing with them. She did however flash the group a smile as their attention shifted to her, swiftly going back to her work.

* She heard them mutter something amongst themselves with a sly laugh, but again, she couldn't know what they were saying, so she kept her attention still on the espresso machine, watching the beans slowly get grounded into fine dust.

* Well, MC apparently more than understood what the men said-with a thud they tugged the leader-dude's shirt by the collar, bringng him inches away from their face, their mouth forming a vicious snarl as they said something to him in a low growly voice, and surprisingly, in the same language as the men spoke.

* MC let the man go with a final push away from the counter, taking pride in the way he stumbled back, his mouth agape; he immediatly nodded to his lackies who all run right behind him and straight out the door, much to Jaehee's shock.

* "MC...what just-"

"They commented on your body. I said that you're under my protection, so they shouldn't even look your way like that again." MC supplied, and with a shrug went back to their usual customer service smile.

* Jaehee didn't ask what 'under my protection' meant for MC-she was just secretly happy for her brave, badass partner.

JUMIN:

* He's very observant-and he can see crystal clear that there’s more to MC than meets the eye.

* He loves them-of course he does, and their mystique aura makes them all the more alluring to him, from the thick accent that rolls of their tongue, to their confident strut as they walk down the street, to the knives strapped on their thighs....

* Wait. Wait wait, KNIVES?!

* He notices them the first time when they’re walking downtown with MC, their bodyguards merely a few feet behind, when some crazed fangirl ran up to the couple, screaming incoherencies at Jumin’s face.

* The bodyguards were quick to act, running straight ahead and taking the fangirl away from the pair, but Jumin’s eyes are razor sharp; he didn’t miss the way MC’s hand calmly went to the slit of their flowy summer dress, dragging the hem a little higher, the flash of metal peeking off of their thigh tight on a garter.

* He doesn’t mention it straight away, but later on, at dinner, he calmly asks if MC is currently armed, and MC nonchalantly answers ‘Yea, always’, while taking a sip of their wine.

* He hums in agreement, nodding slow as he processes their reply. “What are you armed with?”

* MC smirks, leaning closer across the table, a cat-like curiosity in their gaze. “Knives, sometimes a gun, my dashing good looks-you name it and I probably have it on my person.”

* Jumin smiles. “I’m glad you take your safety this seriously my love. It makes me feel safe to know you can protect yourself if the need arises.”

* The conversation ends at that, the pair going back to their casual conversation...but not before Jumin takes a sip of his wine, eyes fluttering shut before they open again, piercing and staring right to MC with pupils blown wide.

* “I suppose I’ll have to carefully examine just what weapons it is you have on you. For your own safety, of course.”

* And well, MC ain’t about to say no to that lmao

SEVEN/SAEYOUNG:

* Hoo boy

* He’s already curious when his background check on MC brings back pretty much nothing, except their upbringing in a foreign country, and an overall normal-seeming facebook account.

* But Seven’s not satisfied. Nobody’s background is that clean. Nobody’s. So he digs more, more, more, yet still there’s nothing, and his curiosity is peaqued, his eyes narrowed as he looks to the cameras in Rika’s apartment, seeing MC nonchalantly lounge on the couch, playing on their phone.

* “I’ll find out just what it is you’re hiding” he vows, ignoring the flush of his cheeks as MC looks up to the camera with a cheeky smile, knowing exactly what it is they’re doing.

* He finds out just what it is that interested him so in MC when he dashes to the apartment, seeing MC struggle with a man who could only be the hacker, broken glass pieces at their feet from the broken window.

* He’s about to step in, tackle the man to the ground and protect MC-only he doesn’t have to. MC takes the man down in a swift movement, using their smaller frame to the man to sneak behind him and kick his shins, tumbling him down and stradling his chest to keep him in place, despite the glass chunks that are probably digging into the hacker’s back.

* More so, they pull up their skirt, bringing a knife up from the hilt, bringing it to the man’s throat with a warning growl.

* Seven...has no idea what he’s doing there, other than just staring at the two people in front of him, not until the security system’s activated and targets the hacker, who flees without so much as a word to Seven.

* “I uh. I see you had it all under control” he says with a stutter, his eyes wide. MC stands up, wiping gunk and blood off of their cheek as they turn to Seven with a grin. “Sure did, but I could always use some extra help” they tell him and oh boy. Oh fuck his life, Seven’s hooked around this person’s sharp, bloody little finger.

* He doesn’t want to scout them into his agency, because he doesn’t want this sort of life for MC-but he will ask for their assistance with missions sometimes, konwing they can more than take care of themselves when the need arises.

* Just a badass but also memey couple really lol

V/JIHYUN:

* After his first unsuccesful attempt to save MC from Rika, he’s worried how MC will fare until he comes to their rescue, if they’ll be hurt in their attempt to escape.

* Well...whatever he was expecting, he certaintly did not expect this.

* He didn’t expect to come back to the cult, only to find MC already roundhouse kicking a vial of elixir from Ray’s hands, kicking it into the ground and pummeling straight into Ray to bring him down before he could attack her, then moving straight to the rest of the Believers, fighting 4-on-1 with so much ease it looked almost like a scene out of a video game.

* V’s lost for a moment before MC turns to him, wiping sweat off their brow as he looks on in confusion. “What the hell are you doing?” they ask, grabbing his hand as they tug him along, “we have to go! Come on!”

* Seven’s skills were pretty much unecessary in their escape lmao, but he’s still glad he tagged along to help the pair escape.

* When in the safety of the faraway cabin, and without anyone having to actually take the elixir this time, V sits dumbfounded, looking to MC like they’re some sort of vicious god.

* “How-how did you do all of that? You just-” he remembers the ease they fought men twice their size off, how they even pulled a knife on one to intimidate him before he could so much as raise a finger to hurt V. “You’re so...strong” he decides, lost for words.

* MC shrugs. “I just do a lot of upper body exercises at the gym. And TRX. It’s good strength training.”

* Honestly....V’s route flows so much easier with this badass MC by his side lol. Rika doesn’t stand a chance to hurt anyone with MC here.

RAY/SAERAN/UNKNOWN:

* Their skills were not, in fact, why he chose MC as his tester. He didn’t even really know about any of their badassery, only that they grew up in a foreign country, and could speak multiple languages, which he found interesting, sure, but unecessary.

* He was thrilled at their kind nature, but also a little aprehensive. He knows no usual person would just up and walk into a van with a driver that blindfolded them to take them to an unkown location. What secrets could MC be hiding? He wanted nothing more than to find out.

* Well, he finds out soon enough. Or rather, Saeran does-when his agressiveness kicks in, when he tries to tackle MC to the ground and hold them in place, show them he’s superior...well, he doesn’t get the chance to.

* MC frowns at him as he tries to push them to the wall, taking his hand and holding it in a bruising-tight hold, swiftly moving behind him and bringing his hand to his back, the cracking sound of his shoulder alerting him he’s most certaintly going to feel that for the next few days.

* “You don’t get to touch me as you please” MC whispers in his ear before letting him go, seeing the way he stumbles a few steps ahead before regaining his balance.

* MC is still kind and tries to help him become the kind person they met in the begining of their arrival here, but won’t take Saeran’s shit under any circumstances. Instead they fight back tooth and nail, showing him all they got when he tries to push them around.

* This also makes escaping the cult with Saeran that much easier-they fight through hoards of Believers like they were paper-light, MC even grabbing a pistol off of one of them and firing scarily precise warning shots at just the right places to scare them all off.

* Welp, mark down Saeran as scared *and* horny lmao

VANDERWOOD:

* He met MC through their escape attempt with V and Seven, and hoo boy-HOO BOY.

* He sees their agility, their swift movements and the way they handle a knife like it was but an extension of their hand, and he’s head over heels in an instant.

* He keeps trying to scout them into the agency, promising them riches, but MC laughs at his offer with a roll of their eyes, refusing every time.

* Once, when he asks MC to join, they lean close to him, bringing a finger under his chin as they tilt his face to meet theirs. “Why don’t you join me instead?” they purr, and at that moment, Vanderwood is putty under their hands.

* He’d follow this badass person to the ends of the world, agency be damned.

* He does ask them to team up with him for some missions, secretly from the agency, and is pleased with the results, noting how quickly and efficiently the two work as a team.

* They’re literally the most badass couple in existence hoooly shit lol

-Send me mystic messenger headcanons/prompts for character reactions!-

#aks #anon #mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger headcanons #mysme headcanons #mysme prompts #mystic messenger prompts #jumin han #jaehee kang #yoosung kim #hyun ryu #jihyun kim #luciel choi #saeran choi #vanderwood

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vicky-shitposts · 3 years

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my mind makes noises

20th Feb 2021,

last night i had a weird dream. im a big fan of Primeval and since i was young, Abby and Connor have been one of my top OTPs. late last year i binged the whole series, start to finish. in my dream last night i can remember being chased across the green of a park, by some tough guys i think?? i distinctly remember checking my phone and i had done 11,000 steps. then Abby pulls up in her car and i hop in, and we speed away to safety down a highway. we stop off at a gas station for some snacks, then catch up with Connor at an office block. it's dark out, and we're being chased around. crawling through air vents and looking round corners. something must have come through an anomaly, or we'd upset the guy in charge. i remember a man in a suit too.

i actually found the energy to get washed and dressed when i woke up. but when i did wake up, i didn't feel so good. physically fine but mentally not. i feel down, sad and terrible but for no apparent reason. i hate it when this happens, and it happens too often. im sat wearing the Pale Waves tshirt dad got me for my 18th, listening to their All The Things I Never Said EP. dad loved Pale Waves and we even went to see them together. i think that was the day that his illness really sunk in for me, and was the last day we really went out and spent together before he had a rapid decline. for the longest time it was so painful listening to them, because it just reminded me of better and happier times. i didn't want to listen to their new album because i was scared i would break down crying. but now Who Am I? has charted in the top 3, which is incredible for only their second album. im so proud of them and i know that dad would be too. i think after this EP, im going to listen to their first album while i do some more reading. i feel like i owe it to my dad and is the least i can do. maybe i feel so sad because i miss him so much: "i swear that i'll never stop loving you, and i'll die by your side if you want me to" <3

i can see why a Pale Waves stan i know of loves Drive so much. i wish i could load myself into a car and drive off into the night, company by my side, either shouting along to music or in dead-but-comfortable silence. the last song kind of got me and just added to the aura im feeling. "i wonder what it's like to die", me too. a wonder on my mind constantly since i was 11, ran through my hands twice. Adam Ant said that Kurt Cobain was brave for killing himself, a sentiment i think about often; Clara saying "let me be brave" suddenly has an entirely new meaning. i think today is Kurt's birthday too, so happy birthday man. i hope you're having a party up there with everyone i love. my album listening session was heavily interrupted when i was asked what i wanted from the shops, as mum's bf was going to get stuff. can a girl never find peace?? apparently not in reality or mentally.

something just happened to me. there i was making my lunch, watching the first episode of Ealing Comedies - a series REG did on films he loves - and the intro of episode one is running. he's telling us what's going on, and has some clips from all three episodes. and out of nowhere, i see REG sat next to Peter Capaldi. Peter is one of my heroes and favourite people ever, his Doctor has taught me so much and is my blueprint. every time i see him i cry. but not this time. instead i let out the most high pitched squeal, collapsed to my knees and started shaking, looking at the tv with so much awe and love. before me were arguably my two favourite men sat together and i didn't anticipate or expect it. it took me by such shock and is all im going to think about for the rest of today. i also had an idea for a Withnail And I-esque film, of two people bunking together but not by choice. one is straight and every archetype of a cis, straight person, constantly giving passing comments of abuse to their flatmate who's as gay, queer, non confirming as they come. both want different things in life and are two opposite ends of the same spectrum. only to discover the "anti gay" was actually gay this whole time, and was deathly scared of themselves and their truth. i also have a bag of cashews to devour now, so some faith has been restored to my world. but not much, mind you.

left my house at 4.11 pm for a walk, didn't get back until about 5.30 pm. it was incredible. as i walked to Sturmer traversing squelchy mud, Hyperspace - Beck was playing in my ears. it's one of my favourite and one of the most important albums to me, i only listen to it on special occasions. felt a little sad listening to it and it reminded me of better times with G/R/E but that's okay. i really do miss them. i sat on a log for 15 minutes and let the album finish; then i sprung into action, found a big stick to use as a walking stick, and walked home through sturmer listening to the Withnail And I soundtrack. there was something so beautiful and liberating about listening to it while walking through a village, all by myself, sun setting behind me. i felt genuinely happy. i felt like i was in the film, at Crow Crag myself, walking in their footsteps. luckily there was no randy bull or chicken to kill for supper. just beautiful music that adorned a huge smile over my heart.

today has been a day of firsts for me, as it's also been the first day ive almost cried while taking the wrapper off a dvd. i just got done watching Logan, and i don't normally care about marvel, but i was actually invested in and really enjoyed it. but before anyone had uttered a word i was almost in tears, because i felt guilty unwrapping it. my dad got it and i presume he wanted to see it at some point. sadly he never got the chance. i only wanted to watch it purely because REG was in it, and i really wish he could have sat and watched it with me. i was also back to hugging my pillow for emotional support too. but the thing that stung the most was (spoiler) that Logan found his daughter, and his daughter watch him die. i may not have been my dad's daughter, but i know what it's like to experience that. i've really been missing him a lot today.

#black and white #photography #aesthetic #diary #diary entry #sad #depressed #exploring #nature #country

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ultraklll · 4 years

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Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)

Paired With Fangs For Hire:

Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"

Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought,"

Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them,"

Paired With Other Guns For Hire:

Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony,"

Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity

Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top

Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]

Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies

Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute,"

In Combat:

Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead,"

Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!"

Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun

Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?"

Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!"

Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush,"

Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"

Driving:

Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"

Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive

Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes,"

Idle:

"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it,"

"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!"

"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"

"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"

[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep, bad for your health,"

Location Specific:

Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies,"

Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county

Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]

Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"

Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"

Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place,"

The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it,"

Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep. In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?"

#shut up mof #oc: tony #long post #ty miles!!!#this was really helpful actually was super fun thinking about tony being a gun for hire #amd got to help me with writing her

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iamyoursinblog · 4 years

Text

FIND YOU

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x Reader x Im Jaebeom

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 2,1 k

LIST

Part: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3 ] [ 3.5 ] [ 4 ] [ ]

_____________________________

POV Jaebeom

They drove up to the dark parking lot behind the club. He looked at the dark building. Everyone in the city knew all too well the reputation of this place and tried to avoid it. But if you had to do something illegal, everyone would come here. He wanted to bury this part of his life and how well he knew this place. Jinyoung has never been this club, one thought infuriated him, but today he agreed to go with it. He put a black mask on his face, and when he got out of the car, he adjusted his designer suit. For such places, he always returned to the image of a spoiled rich heir.

They came to the back door and the guard missed them. They went down the twisted stairs. For everyone it was an ordinary nightclub. But if you come in from the back entrance, you get into a completely different world. They walked through the hall with music invitations, danced on the tables. They came to the farthest table. He took off his mask, and they sit down to the man who was sitting alone his back to the hall. He was the one who ruled this hell.

«Jaebeom! You came earlier than I thought," he smiled broadly. "It's been a long time since you've been here. I was interested in spending time with you. Such sweetheart, angels like you, don't often show up in places like this. I was very determined when your friend took you back" he said pointing to Jinyoung "If I correctly remember, Park Jinyoung"

"Let's talk?" said Jaebeom

"So straight to business? What about drinking with an old friend."

"Another time. If it will, " replied Jinyoung

The man got up from the table and headed towards the narrow corridor behind the bar. They went into the office and closed the door. The man sat down on a chair near the round table and he sat down on the other side.

"I need information on the person who was looking for information about us. Isn't that your doing?" he said, pulling the photograph out of his pocket and putting it on the table.

The man took the photo and laughed loudly. "I've certainly heard she's got a good hacker, but a get photograph from a university campus camera... She never ceases to amaze. Don't you remember Jaebeom, photos aren't among my 'hobbies'. I gave only information, well, maybe a little more information than can be found in the public domain" he smiled

"Then I want information that you can't find in the public domain about this girl"

The man laughed loudly. Jinyoung stood silently leaning against the wall and folded his arms on his chest.

"I still cherish my life. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. Because of our old days, the only thing I can tell you is her name is ________! And believe me, Jaebeom, on your place I'd stay away from people like her. What the affairs you had with her? Haven't shared something?" the man looked at Jaebeom, and then at Jinyoung, then raised a glass and took a sip

"We like her"

Man coughing choking on a drink. "You are brave, guys. But believe me, she's from a different league."

"We've been hearing this too often lately. What kind of league is this?" chuckled Jinyoung, but the man just smiled at his comment.

"In any case, good luck." The man got up and went out into the corridor.

He looked at Jinyoung who was clearly annoyed.

"Is everything OK?" he asked.

"There was no point in coming here. We didn't find out anything while she knew everything about the two of us," Jinyoung shook her head.

"Well, why didn't it make sense. Now we know her name - _______." He smiled.

POV You

You were sitting in your favorite chair reading a book. With the return of the second bartender, you were completely free. You raised your head after seeing the hall, there were quite a few people today. You took a few sips of the cocktail that was on your table. You closed your eyes, reclining on the back of your chair. You smiled when you met with 1+1. They're obviously interested in you. 'I think should play with them,' you thought. You took an empty glass and went to the bar. Sevshi on one of the chairs, you asked to repeat your drink. You were in a bad mood today. You spent the whole day in the office looking at documents and reports. You put your head on the counter and closed your eyes.

"Sorry, miss" your driver's voice made you open your eyes. "They went to the club"

"To the club?" you raised your head with surprise at the driver.

"Yes, Miss"

You laughed loudly at the attention of the visitors. "They're where I didn't expect to see them at all. I think my mood has improved." You left a pristine drink and stood up. "Get the car to the back entrance" you passed by, heading to your office. You went into the office and walked up to the big closet. You chose red bardot bodycon mini dress and black patent stiletto stilettos. After changing quickly, you made a smokey makeup. Looking in the mirror, you smiled. 'It's been a long time since I looked like this'. You went downstairs and went outside. The driver sighed sharply when he saw you, and quickly apologized. Well, that's the kind of reaction you've been trying to get. You got in the car and you headed to the club. The streets were empty enough so the road didn't take much time. When you parked, you got out of the car and headed for the entrance. The guard leaned over and said hello when he recognized you. You went down the stairs, the thud of your heels breaking the silence. You heard the sound of music, and you smiled. You definitely missed this place. As you walked through the hall, all eyes were on you. You stopped when you saw an empty table that was usually busy.

"He's in the office with the clients" a young waiter appeared near you. 'Something new' you looked at it, he was young and handsome. Usually only girls worked here, you smiled at such a gift.

"Thank you" you raised your hand and lead your fingers on his cheek. He shone broadly smiling. 'God, what a cute puppy', you couldn't contain your laughter. "I'll sit at the bar" you chose a place that was close to the entrance to the hallway leading to the study.

'Well, let's wait,' you thought, and turned to the bar making the order.

POV Jinyoung

"You're right. We were finally able to find out her name." He sat down next to Jaebeom

"Not a bad for start. If she has a hacker, I don't think we can find anything about her on the internet," Jaebeom said looking at the photo on the table.

"Why do I have feel like we're playing in a game, rules which we don't know" He began to pour in, saying that despite all their attempts, they couldn't get an inch close to you.

"I didn't think I'd be back again here," Jaebeom said. He looked at Jaebeom, who was inspecting the room, his smile was sad. He remembered the time when Jaebeom constantly disappeared in this place. A trembling shot through him.

"Hopefully we don't have to come back here anymore." He got up and took a photograph, squeezed it in his hand. "Let's go"

They left the office to walk down a narrow corridor, returning back to the hall. He went out and looked at the table where that man was sitting before.

"I suppose you found the answer to my question" he turned his head and froze. You pointing to the hand in which he was clutching the photo. You were sitting at the bar and looking incredibly sexy. Excitement took over him.

"Did you come to tell us your name?" said Jaebeom, approaching closer to the bar

"Don't you know him yet?" you laughed while taking a sip of your drink.

"We know, ________! It's nice to meet you," he said as he approached to Jaebeom.

You looked at them and smiled.

"What's wrong?" he asked

"Different from your usual style," you said pointing the finger at their clothes, shoes and hairstyle. "Finally, look like who you really are."

He wondered if they were being watched, you came as soon as they came in here.

"Yes" you said

"What is yes?" asked Jaebeom

"That's the answer to the question in his head" you pointed on Jinyoung

"I never doubted that we were being watched, thank you for being honest," he said, ordering them two of the same drinks you drank.

"Can we keep watche at you?" asked Jaebeom.

"You can try"

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"I can ask you that. Unlike you, this is my world" you circled your hand pointing to the hall.

"We want to be a part of your world, isn't it logical that we're here." replied Jaebeom

"I didn't expect that someone like you to know about such places. Apparently he liked you very much, if he decided to withhold this information from me" you said pointing to the empty table where the owner used to sit.

"It's a pity we don't have such a talented employee," he said picking up the photo. He set her on fire from a candle that was standing on the bar, and threw it in the ashtray. You just smirked.

"So what with an answer," you said, pointing to the ashes.

He came close to Jaebeom. He lead his fingers across Jaebeom chin turning his head in his direction. He bent down and left a slight kiss on Jaebeom's lips. He can felt Jaebeom's body strain, but Jaebeom did not budge and did not move away. Moved away from Jaebeom's lips, he met him with his eyes before turning to you again. He tried not to show how much he wanted to continue this kiss.

"If we've dealt with that question. Why don't we get to the phase where you start meeting us.?" he asked, approaching you and resting his hand in the back of your chair.

"Let's miss the game in 'pull-push', we're still not going to back down and eventually everything will come to that. So maybe we won't waste time?" Jaebeom came closer to you and put his hand on Jinyoung's shoulder.

You looked at his hand, and when you looked up, the blood was froze in his veins from your gaze. But neither he nor Jaebeom were going to back down. If they want to be with you it's worth forgetting about fear.

You raised your hand and lead your finger at Jaebeom's lower lip, which was wet after the kiss. You licked your finger looking into Jaebeom's eyes. This sight caused a wave of lust that passed through his body.

"You're braver than I thought" you lead a sock of shoes on the inside of his leg stopping above the middle of the thigh. . He felt his dick twitch in his pants. "But what do I must do, I love the game of 'pull-push'." You stood up between their bodies. It took him all his control not to press you with his body to Jaebeom's body. You turned your head to Jaebeom and left a kiss on his cheek. Turning to him, you ran a hand over his chest before leaving a kiss on his cheek. "This is a reward for today's show. I liked it more than I thought" you took a step forward and turning around sent them a depraved smile, from which the tremor passed through his body. He wanted to make step to your side, but felt how Jaebeom's hand squeezing his forearm for stopping him. You turned around and went to the exit, leaving them exhausted with excitement. Before you left the hall, there was a handsome guy from the staff next to you. You looked at that guy with a smile while he was telling you something. He blushed when you answered him. He was wondering who this guy was and what you told him that he was blushing. He felt jealousy that took hold of every inch of his body. He turned his eyes to Jaebeom, his jaw was tense. Jaebeom's fingers were still singing in his forearm. You gestured to someone and a moment later there was a girl manager. You said something by swiping your fingers at the guy's tie, which only the girl nodded to. You left the hall and the guy followed you.

"And what has it just been?" he asked

"I don't know, but I obviously don't like it at all" Jaebeom replied.

_____________________________

LIST

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Part: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3 ] [ 3.5 ] [ 4 ] [ ]

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ectodog · 4 years

Text

it’s the 4th anniversary of the premier of vld which of course means i have assembled a rough timeline for my descent into voltron special interest hell. it goes something like this:

- june 10 2016: vld season 1 premiers. i am none the wiser

- january 20 2017: season 2 comes out. this fact is irrelevant to me

- august 4 2017: season 3 happens. still not entirely sure what a “voltron” even is

- mid-august 2017: one of my friends cosplays keith. that’s cool. who’s keith?

- october 17 2017: season 4 arrives. that’s fine i guess

- march 2 2018: season 5 has entered the building. i am vaguely aware that i have known people who watched it at some point. the fandom is apparently “terrifying” but i survived homestuck, so i scoff at the concept and go on with my life

- june 15 2018: season 6 drops. i see a bunch of cool gifs and pretty fanart. coupled with the hype i have absorbed from the lead up to it, i wonder if i should give the show a watch

- june 16 2018: i start watching vld. two (four) episodes in and i love it. i can already tell i’m a hunk kinnie, and this brings me no end of joy

- june 28 2018: within two weeks, i have caught up entirely. i am thriving in the post-s6 hype

- july 20 2018: at sdcc, the Big Reveal happens. shiro is gay. he is a disabled main character of of colour in a wildly popular show for kids, and he is kind and brave and the pinnacle of masculinity, and he is gay. no matter your shipping opinions, this is incredible news and it’s hard to Not ride the high, so why bother trying? they show a trailer and announce the release date for season 7, and within hours a bunch of booted recordings of s7e1 are floating around online

- july 23 2018: my interest level has gotten to the point where i need to make a separate twitter for it, so i do. (fun fact: as of today, less than 2 years later, said twitter has over 7300 posts on it. my main, 4x that old, has ~30k)

- august 10 2018: season 7 is online at 1am my time. im selling at an artist alley all weekend, starting the following morning. i binge half the season anyway before passing out, and completely avoid the internet until i can watch the rest later that day

- october 5 2018: at nycc, the trailer for s8 and release date are revealed. i immediately book the announced day off work because i know i will want to watch the entire thing at once the second it’s out

- mid-october 2018: “leaks” of s8 start appearing online. pretty much no one in the fandom believes them, because no one Likes them. they seem ridiculous. people start making “leakverse” fanworks to feed some of the finale anticipation into, including me. no one really thinks they’re plausible at all

- december 14 2018: season 8 airs. i post a quick but heartfelt fanart before gearing up for 1am. it starts, and i cry. the first time they form voltron, i cry some more. things keep happening, and i keep getting tears on my screen, and i have to pause and start it over and over, but i live tweet the whole thing anyway. the leaks were... real. i come out of it unsure how i feel, exactly, but i am exhausted from the marathon and so immediately pass out

- the same day, after some sleep: im upset and confused as to why the finale season was so hollow. i see im not alone. it’s a rough week, feeling like something i love so deeply let me down so much. i realize it’s only been 6 months since i got into it - but, clinging to a deep sense of betrayal, i cry some more anyway

- the immediate aftermath: there are petitions and accusations of censorship and conspiracies about where the “real” s8 is. it’s hard not to get caught up in, or at least dragged down by, the lack of hype. no one who worked on the show says anything for days, weeks, months. fix it fanwork starts cropping up, and i surround myself in them. none of the excitement from before is there, not the same way it was. i start a new and highly ambitious piece of art out of spite. it’s left unfinished

- january 2 2019: lion forge releases the third volume of vld comics. no one really cares. i certainly don’t

- the intermediate aftermath: it becomes clearer by the day that the season was, simply put, a failure and a flop. no one liked it. kids cried over it and parents had no idea how to explain it to them. the fandom and community dim for a while, but i keep immersing myself in the trove of fanwork that already existed, and i start trying again to make some of my own

- may 29 2019: lion forge comics announces that they are not renewing their license to make more vld comics. that, coupled with the abysmally rated final season, seems to be the nail in the coffin for this iteration of the ip. there won’t be anything else official for vld. somehow, this sparks a renewed interest in me. despite everything, im more dedicated than ever before to preserve and proliferate my good experiences. i know this won’t be a blip in my history as a fan, so i’m determined to be happy with it, as best i can be

- the rest: is, as they say, history. as of now, i have something like 20 fanworks of my own in progress for vld. my ao3 bookmarks number in the 100s, and my to-read list is at over 250. ive made a concerted effort to be more active and engaged in the fandom, because it came so close to fizzling out, for me and maybe for everyone, but it’s brought me so much goodness that i cant and Won’t let that happen, not without a fight

it’s been just under 2 years since i decided to watch voltron on a whim. and it has honestly become a central part of my interests and identity in that time - but for the majority of it, it’s been because of fandom and fanworks, and that’s maybe what made it stick so well to begin with: the creative, varied, amazing parts of it that no network mandate could have offered on its own

this started as a way to catalog my journey into and through vld but honestly it kind of became a love letter to the fandom (at least, my corner of it). that’s what’s made these last years so special - what’s made them simultaneously fly by and feel like a solid constant. a dedicated, talented fan base who are capable of so much more than the constraints of the source material

it’s amazing to look back on, and incredible to keep looking forward to. we’ve all been told - “go, be great”

we have been, and continue to be. like the stars, and like my love for vld, it’s inevitable

so thank you all for the years of “great”. 🖤

#this got so far away from me im so sorry #but i really wanted to write it out so! there you have it #voltron #vld #long post

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midnight-lightning · 5 years

Text

Piece of gold I Part 4

Loki x reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

A/N: Sorry, i’m a little late, but for a make up it’s a little bit longer :)

Summary: You live your dream as a worker in the royal library of Asgard, everything would have been normal if there wasn't a certain prince between the bookshelf's who's passion also included books. Of course destiny has decided it was time to bring you two together...

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Okay Y/N, would you please be so kind to explain to me why in Odin's name there's a tumult going on in front of our rooms?"

Surprised you looked up from your desk on which you managed and planed for the library.

"I don't know, did something happen?"

"This Im asking you, my dear!"

You focused again on your work, writing down all the numbers in your head you needed. But Mealla put both her hands on your papers, blocking your view.

"Because it's you they all are asking for."

"What? -Oh god." Immediately you rose from your seat, closing and putting your things away before you hurried out of the library, Mealla following you. How could you forget it?

"What 'oh god'? Y/N?" She grabbed your arm and pulled you back, facing you with a serious expression. "Would you just answer me, child! Is there something you didn't tell me?"

You hesitated. Would she be mad if you tell her? After all she'd figure it out this evening anyway.

"Well...," you started, biting your lips.

Mealla rose her eyebrow. "Well what?"

"It might or might not be that Loki has invited me to accomplish him to the ball this evening..."

"You- what?!" She exclaimed, taking a step back. "So that's why you refused to go with my cousin!"

"Yes."

No.

Like seriously. Have you ever met that man? He's a little too creepy...

Mealla looked from your head to your feet, very suspicious.

"Soo...Are you disappointed?" you asked with caution.

She remained quietly a few more moments before she said: "You know it's kind of funny how you were at the edge of tears the first time you met Loki in the library and now, several weeks later you're going ... to the ball with him? See, you were afraid of him-"

"Respect. I had just respect-"

"Yeah, whatever. My point is, I don't believe you."

"What? At what?"

"Whatever Loki did to you to convince you I will not-"

"No no no no. No, Mealla." You lifted both of you hands in front of you, trying somehow to show her that everything is fine. "He asked me, actually. Right after the dinner with the queen."

"And you haven't told me?!"

"I... I somehow forget..."

"That a prince asked you to accomplish him to the star ball? Prince Loki!?"

"And I knew what you think about him."

Mealla fell silent. And you took a deep breath.

"Listen, I know you're my friend and you are worried about me, but I'm old enough to watch out for myself, you see.

Besides I really don't know how long you've known Loki, and of course I could be wrong, but there's something about him that... I can't quite describe. But what I know is that all this talk, all this gossip and rumours about him don't include the person I've seen in him."

"What do you mean?"

"When the soldier hit me, he was immediately there and helped and asked for my condition. He didn't have to came though, Thor was there with his guards, but he came to stop the man nevertheless. Then this other side of him, his vulnerable side he showed that day we saw the queen.

His past and his story, all the time we've talked and laughed or just sit together proved to me... there's more in him than people see."

A moment of silence came up, where you blankly started in the floor whereas Mealla watched you thoughtfully.

"Whatever you might just told me, I will not let neither of you out of my sight this evening, understand me? And now come, we shouldn't let the others wait any longer."

You looked up surprised. "So you do think he's not that bad?"

"I do think nothing that bad could came from an angel like queen Frigga..."

"What ever there's going on between you two now-"

"We're friends, Mealla. Let's stop there alright?"

"Is that now what it's called? Friends? Well, my dear, just don't get in trouble."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Five young woman in maiden's uniform stood indeed before our workers rooms, their eyes brightening up when they noticed you both coming.

"Lady Y/N, prince Loki has sent us," one explained. "Would you lead us into your room?"

A little bit of concerned crossed your mind. "I beg your pardon, but Loki just said he'd deliver me simply information about this evening, I'm sure it's not necessary-"

"Oh no, my Lady, he told us explicit we should prepare you for the ball tonight."

"But it's only morning, the library-"

"That's none of your business anymore. Today is the star-festive. No one should work today and the visitors will get along one day without us," Mealla stepped in. "Besides, it's also time for me to prepare myself for today. Be brave, my dear and don't you dare enter the ball without me!"

She winked, smiled and went away, letting you standing in between a uncertain future. Alright, let's see it less dramatic...

You opened the door that lead to your room, letting the maiden walk in first before you followed.

Inside you hurried to your wardrobe and searched for the dress, you kept for special occasions, even if it might be a little to simple for tonight... After all you'd be together with the prince of this kingdom, which reputation is important.

But no, it'll be enough, you hoped.

Turning around you showed the women your dress. "What do you think about- Oi."

They were very fast. The time you had spent searching for your clothes they had built up a folding screen, and opened their suitcases.

"What...?"

"Step behind it, my lady, we have to hurry!"

"But, I can't. I- I have my own dress there's no need for that much of effort, really. Please."

But apparently the leader of the group shook sternly her head. "This dress is a present of prince Loki. Even when your own dress is beautiful as well, you need to wear today this one, as a representation of the royalty."

"The royalty?" you croaked and in one big wave it hit you what it really meant to accomplish Loki to the ball.

It meant wearing a fancy dress, that might look truly amazing but would grind you with tightness and a style that isn't yours, it meant walking in a big hall of thousand of people and being forced to dance in front of them, it meant representing the royal family and every single mistake of you would be an embarrassment for them. It meant coming out of your lonely little world into the middle of attention.

Suddenly a tight feeling in your through caused you to plump down on your bed, staring down with glassy eyes.

"I can't do that," you whispered, but no one seemed to hear you.

"My dear, are you not feeling well? You look quite pale."

"Can't she attend the ball anymore?"

"Oy hush you!"

"Ohw!"

And how on Asgard could you focus on your dance steps, when Loki's face was only a few inches away from yours? How, when his hands will be around yours, and how, when his scent will be the only thing you're breathing? How, when his deep green eyes will met yours?

What if you really don't go?

It be so much better...

Loki... he'd find someone other, easily.

But did you really want him to dance with someone other when you could be the one spending time with him, talking, laughing and dancing?

What did he say again?

"This Year it might be less lonely."

Y/N, your such a coward!

"Lady Y/N, should we get a healer?"

Suddenly you looked up into a pair of concerned blue eyes.

No, it's time for you to follow your heart not your fears.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm - im alright," you said and smiled, standing up again. "And please, it's just Y/N. I'm not a real lady. Oh, im so sorry, what are your names? And you really don't need to help me, I can do-"

"My name is Zafire and you-" she let out a small laugh. "Should relax and take a big breath. Stop worrying about us, it's our job and now shush!" Zafire wagged her hands, leading you behind the folding screen where the other four already waited, preparing you for the big night.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"All stars ABOVE ME!"

The second you heard the scream you knew Mealla must've arrived. You turned around seeing your friend stopping in front of you with a expression of pure shock. She looked wonderful in her graceful, red dress and her hair was a dream! Even her husband beside her, who was told to be far more than just handsome didn't have a chance next to her.

"You look beautiful, Mealla!"

"Y/N, have you seen yourself in the mirror? I mean look at you!"

You looked down at your dress, touching it in awe. Yes, the first time you've seen your dress you were in shock. And it was even convenient to wear! Also your hair style was not too much, as your accessories. It was perfectly your own style.

"Where's Loki?" Mealla asked looking around as if expecting him sneaking around here.

"Zafire, one of the amazing maiden informed me, I should enter alongside the others and he will find me. Oh Odin, im so nervous!"

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's enter!" Mealla exclaimed, and you were amazed seeing her in such a exited state.

She grabbed the arm of her husband, whom you had shared a polite nod already with, before she took your hand. And alongside your best friend you entered the big hall.

The ball room was filled with millions of people, laughing, chattering or just sitting at the tables.

Wonderful music fulfilled the hall, just making the atmosphere perfect in here.

But the best thing of all were still the magical stars shining inside the hall, and as the walls were round arches you could also see the real stars outside on the dark sky.

Suddenly you felt a bump.

"Y/N...," Mealla whispered. You followed her gaze to the end of the hall, where the King, alongside his queen stood up, preparing for their traditional speak.

You bent your head. "Seems like we're perfectly in time."

"Of course, afterwords you came with me. I'm never late."

The guests fell silent as soon as King Odin lifted both of his hand.

"Welcome! Welcome to our annual star-festival, may their light shine forever upon us!"

In this moment you shifted your gaze on the curtains behind the thrones, when they opened and the blond hair of prince Thor were visible. He entered, with a big grin on his face due to several cries from women in the front.

Then, right behind him, followed Loki, with his usual straight face.

Your eyes went wide.

Loki looked just stunning. No, amazing.

The handsome green-yellow suit he was wearing made his green eyes shine brighter than ever and with his own certain aura he seemed unapproachable.

As if he'd felt your gaze, Loki's eyes connected with yours and for seconds you forget how to breath.

To your huge astonishment a smile appeared on his face and you hardly managed to returned it, before you were interrupted by a loud applause.

Apparently Odin's speak was already finished, as he took Frigga arm with a gentle smile and led her to the dance area in the middle of the hall.

The music started and the queen alongside her king vanished in another world. One after one the other couples followed and also Mealla passed you with a last big smile, hand in hand with her husband.

"Have fun!"

"Don't fall, Mealla!" You laughed slightly, before you decided to grab a drink first or something, against the slight panic inside of you.

But your plans were crossed when you turned around, shrieking slightly as you nearly crushed in the figure who appeared in front of you.

Loki's eyes twinkled with amusement, before offered you his hand, bowing slightly.

"May I have this dance, my Lady?"

Still stunned and with a raging heart you put your hand in his own, trying not to shake too much.

"Of course."

On the dance floor he put his arm around your waist and you your own on his shoulder.

And then you followed the music.

Step for step and step for step.

Don't look into his eyes.

Step for step and right and left.

Not his eyes.

Forwards and backwards.

Oh look there's Mealla.

Don't focus on his cold hand around your waist, and really don't focus on your hand inside his.

And for Odin's sake and especially your own, don't look him in his eyes.

Left and right and step and step.

Yessss.

"May I notice that you look very lovely tonight," Loki begun, with this certain voice that made you want to scream internally.

No wait, it was already happening.

"I knew this dress would suit you."

Well, gone was your plan to avoid his eyes. Now you were forced to meet his intensive gaze, and his face that was way too near to his face.

"Thank you," you get out, before you cleared your throat in bashfulness.

"You don't look that bad either," you stated, punching you internally.

Why did you say that?

Why did you have to say that!

Loki chuckled. "Not bad? I'd say this suit looks quite good on me. Especially this ... thing." He looked on the fabric on his chest, forming a stretched rhombus.

"My brother Thor brought this from Midgard, now we're all forced to wear this because he wanted it so."

You let out a small laugh. "Well, it doesn't look that bad, does it?"

He rolled his eyes, but still looked down at you with an amused smile. "No, but it's from my brother. A point enough for me not to wear it."

"And still you do. Are you still mad at him?"

"Mad? Because of what?"

Ay, don't know if it was a good idea to mention it at this ball.

"Because you couldn't get to the mission alongside him and your father..."

His amusement turned now into a look of surprise. "Well, I shouldn't be surprised you figured it out."

Loki glanced sidewards where his mother and his father danced, laughing about something he just said.

"They are breaking up this evening, in search for our new enemies in the south. And because of a reason nobody explained I was cancelled out. My brother tried to reason with me, but his intentions were quite clear...," he said with bitterness in his voice.

Then out of all sudden he whirled you around, two times before you landed again before him.

You gulped. "I am sure your father thought it would be the best to have the kingdom in good hands as long as he's away."

Loki shook his head. "I don't think my father is like the way you imagine him. But let's not talk further about his topic."

You nod. "Alright, let's talk about the fact that I couldn't thank you enough for giving me your books," you said and a big grin appeared on your face.

"Yesterday I've finished the last one and I cried."

"I thought it was the happy ending you wanted?"

"It was, it was so much more than that. Sad and full of love and happiness and even the cheesy parts I've loved with my whole heart. And now I can live in peace."

"Finally."

Once again your eyes fall upon his and both of you just looked at each other with a gentle smile, without any kind of bitterness, anger, panic or nervousness.

Really, Mealla was right, it was absolutely unbelievable that you're really here, in this big hall full of stars and people, music and laughter and are really dancing with Loki. Like the real prince Loki you couldn't really talk let alone look at him several weeks ago.

And now you're here.

His hand in yours. Your arm on his shoulder.

And this evening you both spent together with lots of laughters about stories, people or your selves and you talked and talked and danced and talked and danced.

Before it was finally time for the farewell of King Odin and Thor.

Both of them were heading to the big entrance on the other side, followed by all of the guests who attended this festive.

Outside stood a huge spaceship already, waiting for them to get on board.

A soft touch on your arm caused you to look away, directly towards Loki.

"My dear Y/N, I fear I have to leave you for now, as I need to see my father off. But I will find again", he explained and when you nodded he made his way forwards through the crowd.

You sighted, you still couldn't believe today was real... a real dream.

Even when you now stood alone in the middle of people you didn't know and the cold wind gave you goosebumps, you smiled.

But in fact you weren't left alone that long...

"May I join you, my dear?" Asked a voice behind you.

You turned around and your eyes widened in shock when you recognised the queen standing before you.

"Oh-Of course, your highness," you answered in a hurry and managed a clumsy bow.

But queen Frigga put a hand on your arm and said with a gentle smile: "Please, no need for that." She took a step beside you, turning toward the spaceship, where her husband had already vanished inside.

Now it was only Thor who stood there, embracing a young woman.

Yes, it must be Jane, the midgardian. You had also noticed them together at the ball.

"I'm an happy that both of my sons could find somebody who makes them happy", the queen said quiet, still focusing on the scene.

Quite shocked you turned to her.

A smile appeared on her face when she noticed out of the corner of her eyes your gaze upon her.

"My dear, I haven't seen Loki laugh and look this happy in a very long time. And I want to thank you for that. For being certainly someone special..."

"Your majesty I... I don't-"

You noticed Thor leaving his beloved, entering the space ship. Seconds later it raised up slowly, before it flew away into the dark sky, followed by loud cheering.

Finally The queen turned fully around and faced you now with a serious expression. "Please don't hurt him. That's all I'm asking you for. I see it in your eyes, you're a good person with a good heart, you two connect in a way I couldn't give him as a mother."

You fell silenced. It was probably unnecessary to say that this situation was a little bit awkward, even if you felt honoured to be seen as a good person by the queen.

In the distance you noticed Mealla, who waved you enthusiastically and seemed to make a way towards you and the queen.

On her side you saw to your own surprise Loki standing.

And the moment your eyes connected,

a loud explosion tore you all apart.

Suddenly you wasn't standing anymore but flying across the air before you crashed your head painfully against something hard.

Your head burned with a fire inside, your ears ringed and your vision became blurred.

You barely noticed the queen laying on the floor next to you, her eyes closed.

You couldn't hear anymore, nor feel your body in any way. All you could do was keeping your gaze on the sky, while around you Asgard was drowning in high flames.

And your helpless body in the middle of the disaster.

And slowly- even if you didn't want to, even if you tried to fight, you fall into that darkness that seemed to be so gentle and easy...

@chims-kookies

@asgardiankingloki

@nightrose64

@mylovelycrazyworld

@6-daughter-of-a-witch-6

@wehahein

@jessiejunebug

@thatfrenchperson

@vikkleinpaul

@marisayouass

@wester-than-west

@nickyrose3123

#piece of gold #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfiction #Loki x reader #Loki x you #Loki imagine #Marvel #Loki Friggason #marvel imagine #Avengers imagine

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putalittleloveonme · 4 years

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21 Questions Tag

I was tagged by the lovely @leighsroyalty and I always like this type of stuff and then I just.. forget about it so this time I was like ‘lets do this’ lmao rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people (well, I’m def not tagging 21 ppl, we’ll just cheat the system) 1. nickname: don’t think I’ve one, my name isn’t that interesting to get a nickname i guess 2. zodiac: Gemini, yeah.. 3. height: 5′4 im so short........ sad 4. hogwarts house: I’m going to say something very brave... I don’t care ‘cause I was never interested in the HP movies 5. last thing i googled: wait let me check lmao oh I just used to see how much is 165cm in feet to answer the heigh question bye 6. favorite musicians: uhm.. Troye Sivan, The Script, NF, Lewis Capaldi, Little Mix, well Niall obv, Harry Styles, Birdy, Maggie Rogers, Halsey... I’ve a lot lol 7. song stuck in my head: WHEN I GROW UP I WANNA BE FAMOUS I WANNA BE A STAR I WANNA BE IN MOVIES!!! WHEN I GROW UP!!!!! I WANNA SEE THE WORLD!!!! DRIVE NICE CARS, I WANNA HAVE GROUPIES!!! (going through the pussycat dolls’ discography today so yea) 8. following: 224. 9. followers: whom knows 10. do you get asks: Sometimes I’m like ‘I wish more ppl would talk to me’ and other times when I get anons I’m like ‘perhaps it was best when I didn’t receive anything on a daily basis’ dghfu I’m jk but yeah, I guess, sometimes 11. amount of sleep: I literally don’t sleep. I wish I could say I’m kidding but I go to bad at a disgusting time and then I don’t fall asleep for hours and hours and after a few hours of actual sleep I wake up... disgustin g 12. what are you wearing: PJs 13. dream job: Always wanted to be a teacher, ever since I was 6, this country made me hate it lol so now! I wanna be an interpreter even though it’s impossible to become one here, love Italy <3 14. dream trip: always wanted to go to London and I’m gonna do it next year hehe aaaand idk, literally anything ‘cause I’ve only ever been to Berlin and Prague so I guess I need to see more of the world 15. instruments: Literally nothing. I took some guitar lessons when I was 12 but my teacher was mean, he literally made me feel so bad that I stopped trying and ever since I just hate it lol 16. languages: Italian, English, a little bit of Spanish 17. 10 favorite songs as of now: ● Harry Styles - Watermelon Sugar ● Dua Lipa - Don’t Start Now ● Calum Scott - If Our Love Is Wrong ● FLETCHER - One Too Many ● Tinashe - Die A Little Bit ● Halsey - Graveyard ● Lewis Capaldi - Before You Go ● Lauv, LANY - Mean It ● Tiesto, Mabel - God Is A Dancer ● Maggie Rogers - Love You For A Long Time 18. if you were an animal: I would be... I guess a cat so I can sleep all day, eat, play with whatever I want, go out if I feel like going out and still have a home so I don’t freeze in winter lol 19. favorite food: I’m not big into food? idk how to explain but like there are so many things that i don’t like which is weird but,,, yeah. I guess pizza lol 20. random fact: apparently my veins are weird and the last time I took blood tests the nurse was like ‘maybe you’re an alien’ so mayb I’m one 21. my aesthetic: everything black ‘cause I’m in a certain mood tonight I’m gonna tag @niallandtommo, @gotloveforyou, @actualhumansunshine, @perriedward, @stylesep, @mistlekissy, @onthelooze and whoever else feels like doing this!

#sorry for tagging if u didnt want to sjdbuh

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thegeminisage · 5 years

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i have deep and conflicting thots about the gilli episode (3.11)

they’re long (they’re LONG!!!) so here’s a cut. you’re welcome

good things:

this is the ANTITHESIS to everything i was complaining about last night. this is what i was CRAVING. this show did me so good (and yet, so bad - more on that in a sec)

there was a touch of outside pov here (my weakness) since we got to see who merlin was from gilli’s point of view

and when i say we got to see who merlin was i mean we really for real got to SEE WHO HE WAS oh babey

something gilli said in this episode was that merlin has been pretending so long he forgot who he was and i think similarly he pretends so well that we the audience (me anyway) also kind of forget who he is because we see it SO rarely

but we saw it here! in this episode merlin was SMART?? those aren’t two words i’d normally use in the same sentence without sticking a “is not” between them but he WAS - he cottoned on right away that gilli was using magic, he confronted him immediately and in a way that didn’t invoke hostility (and what a nice little flip, what a TREAT to see someone else freaking out and covering their ass while merlin is keeping his cool), (some of) his normal little jabs at arthur were a tad wryer/slyer on the delivery, and he figured out, ON HIS OWN, how to save both gilli and uther, and used his magic in front of ALL THOSE PEOPLE without getting caught

and speaking of that, merlin being like “he’s braver than me, using magic in front of all those people” and gaisu going “brave or stupid” like... ok, at first my reaction was: come on, merlin uses magic in front of people ALL THE TIME...but when i think about it, my very own self was complaining just yesterday that he was keeping his shit buttoned up way too tightly. and i did notice merlin himself waiting until backs were turned more often, incantating aloud less often...he ACTUALLY HAS gotten less stupid, JUST a smidgen. i didn’t even realize

merlin seemed more grown-up and serious in this episode than he has in the entire series. maybe it’s the fact that he had someone younger and dumber to play off of (and i don’t think gilli was a strong enough character to carry an episode, but maybe it was enough to give us an excuse to develop merlin so much) but he did in fact seem WISE, and he seemed TIRED, which is a thing grownups usually are... the way he talked to the other characters seemed different too - he spoke to the dragon as an equal (last dragon & last dragonlord), not as some dumbass in over his head asking for help (very nice also that he didn’t go to gaius for advice but someone more on “his level”). he gave arthur clear and frank advice on how to go about fighting his dad, he STUCK UP FOR GILLI AGAINST GAIUS (backbone! compassion!) and then STUCK UP FOR HIMSELF against gilli!!!!!

(i like a slightly more serious merlin because while quirky dumbass country hick merlin IS charming and endearing that charm can only carry him so far without more meat involved, especially after some of the terrible things we’ve seen him suffer through and all the experiences he’s had to grow and change)

i have mixed feelings about merlin showing his magic to this particular person at this particular time, but i do also like that he was willing to open up about WHO HE IS if it could potentially save a life. that shows backbone. and it shows integrity. two things i was sorely missing from merlin before now

speaking of merlin’s integrity, we finally got to cover why he keeps saving uther, who he should hate and despise and want dead, which i have been DYING for

merlin and gilli have a sort of professor x/magneto stance about uther, by which i mean one of them argues that they should change things from within the system to court goodwill and avoid violence because acting violently would just make their detractors’ point for them, and the other argues that the system should be destroyed entirely through any means necessary because violence is the only language the oppressor understands

on a rewatch what really stands out to me is merlin chastising gilli at the end by saying “you’re better than that.” it makes me think of season 1 when merlin had the chance to let morgana’s allies assassinate uther and he asks gwen what he should do - gwen, who also has every reason to hate and despise uther, tells merlin that to allow him to die through inaction would be just as bad as murdering him directly, and that that would make merlin as bad uther is

i don’t want to give the people who fucked morgana over so thoroughly too much credit but it makes me wonder if that wasn’t when merlin decided that he was going to be the bigger man

he says it himself in this episode, near tears - it is LONELY, being what he is, and doing what he does. he could kill a man with a thought and he spends all his time mucking stables and polishing armor and when he gets a break from that it’s to save someone’s life without endangering his own. it is dangerous, tireless work for which he believes he will NEVER get any thanks. and what i was so frustrated about before was not understanding WHY - did he care THAT much about arthur’s feelings, that he couldn’t stand to watch arthur lose a father? was he just THAT afraid of uther and what uther would do to him if he found out?

but i get it now - it’s because he CHOOSES to. not to protect arthur or to protect himself but because he wholly believes that he’s playing the long game and he’s on the correct path to seeing a future where what he is is no longer outlawed - god, his FACE when he says “when that day arrives, we WILL be free”

again not to overcredit the writers bc i DON’T think they were smart enough to do this on purpose but like in my heart he decided all the way back in season 1 that he wasn’t going to take the easy way out and just let uther die because THAT’S NOT WHAT MAGIC IS FOR. he’s stronger than everyone else around him and HE CHOOSES to keep his head down and wait it out because in his OWN WORDS “magic is not meant to bring you glory.” even gilli agrees - when used for personal gain, it is very easy for the power of the magic to corrupt. i thought merlin was weak, to have saved uther’s life so many times - but to resist that kind of temptation and corruption over and over, he’s actually the opposite. he doesn’t try so hard to protect the monarchy because he lacks self-respect or integrity, he protects the monarchy BECAUSE OF his self-respect and integrity. all along, he’s been fighting for a better future too - just in his way, not the way gilli or morgana would

and speaking of morgana...here’s the bad:

i. am. LIVID!!!!!

that merlin would tell this boy he BARELY KNOWS his secret in order to maybe possibly save this kid’s life and NOT TELL MORGANA in her worst hour of need when she most needed a friend

merlin got a whole lot more respect from me today but the fact remains that he’s a LYING LIAR WHO LIES and he has tried to kill morgana two and a half times (the poison, the bump on the head, knocking her off her horse) and as of the end of season 3 also MURDERED HER SISTER THAT IS APPARENTLY ALSO LOWKEY HER GIRLFRIEND (i know)

which really clashes with his whole deal that i just described above, of using his magic for good and not evil purposes, for trying to win over hearts instead of win battles. and it’s funny that it’s ONLY morgana that merlin acts out of character for...i think it’s because! and this is a crazy concept! the writers hate morgana!

morgana in season 1 and most of season 2 was a kind and loving person. she was a true ally to gwen and often used her status as the king’s ward to stand up for gwen when gwen was in trouble. the first time she tried to have uther killed it was because of what happened to gwen’s father. she was more than capable of feeling love and knowing right from wrong and doing what she believed was right at any cost as evidenced by her helping to sneak the little druid kid out of the castle at risk to herself

morgana in season 3 does nothing but smirk evilly. and while it’s a good look on her and she’s MORE than valid in wanting to fuck up merlin and uther and maybe even arthur too from a certain viewpoint her aggression against gwen is ENTIRELY unwarranted

even trying my BEST to be sympathetic towards her and remember what she’s gone through and that her bad characterization is the fault of the writers and not morgana herself it is VERY hard not to hate her when you see her delighting in gwen’s misery and watching her PANIC about gwen’s future as the queen was FAR more satisfying than it should have been because i was then delighting in MORGANA’S misery and that is NOT a feeling im comfy with

in fact! im furious! the fact that this gilli kid got a more sympathetic portrayal than morgana ever will makes me SEE RED!!! imagine if the professor x/magneto vibe had been played out with merlin and morgana throughout the entirety of season 3! imagine morgana still had feelings other than ~edgy evulz~ and kept trying to kill uther BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IT WAS RIGHT but had no quarrel with people like gwen who had always loved her! imagine her being conflicted when there was every chance that gwen would die during the takeover! imagine how her feelings could have become even more complicated when she found out she had living family - a father and brother, one of whom she is plotting to kill! imagine her NOT wanting harm to come to gwen or arthur and trying to persuade them to her side with good yet flawed arguments! imagine uther having to face the fact that the daughter he dotes on is also the thing he hates! people talk about arthur’s conflict if he realizes merlin is magic, but he’s known merlin a lot less time than he’s known morgana and merlin’s not his sister, imagine arthur had to deal with that conflict of interests! we could have HAD IT ALL in season 3 and instead season 3 MOSTLY SUCKS

what if morgana had remembered how fucked up arthur was about learning about the true circumstances of his birth? what if she had persuaded him that uther’s stance against magic was wrong? what if she knew merlin had magic but she hated him so she blackmailed him with it? he could have told her and then spent the ENTIRETY of season 3 shitting himself about it and it would have TOTALLY JUSTIFIED how shifty he got later after gaius taught him how to lie.what if he had SEEN what choosing to hurt other people had wrought in morgana and truly felt remorse and it informed his character for the rest of the show and that’s why he’s always choosing the moral high ground! there were SO MANY possibilities that could have opened up by having morgana be even just a little bit 3-dimensional!!!

which brings me to my next complaint: as good as this episode was, as much as i loved it, as glad as i am to finally understand merlin or at the very least have an interpretation of him i’m happy with, i should not have had to wait ALL SEASON to get there. i know what kind of show this is but they could have slipped some of this stuff in WAY EARLIER so i didn’t have to spent the entirety of season 3 and quite a lot of season 2 thinking merlin was just some spineless fuckup

also i will say it again, gilli was NOT strong enough to have carried this episode. the work on merlin’s character was INCREDIBLE and it was fun enough to see gilli mirror who he was in early season 1 but imagine how much better it could have been if he’d gotten to play off of someone like morgana - gilli’s a one-off character, and he has to tell us about his history and struggles, but morgana’s struggle is something we’ve witnessed firsthand. when she makes her own arguments about how hard it is to be magic under uther’s rule it comes from a place of deep pain that could have and should have resonated with merlin just as deeply as gilli’s.

morgana works MUCH better as a foil to merlin because all the way back in season 1 when they were both angry on gwen’s behalf and both wanted uther to pay for what he’d done so that no more innocent people would die it was MORGANA who chose the magneto route and merlin who decided to go professor x. they had the potential to make something REALLY COOL out of that AND THEY DIDN’T and what makes me so mad about this episode is that the sheer CONCEPT of this was good enough to have carried the entire season and yet they crammed it into a single 45-minute block

here end my thots i guess, in conclusion morgana deserved better

#personal #merlin blogging #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #despite my very big problems with how this was executed #i did love it quite a bit #very good timing that just last night i was complaining about merlin the character #that i didn't see enough meat to him #and then today i am given THIS #watching merlin live must have been like torture #but i've finally got my angle to him #maybe it's not the correct one or the one most people would prefer #but it's the one i like & can get behind #that speech at the end...#his very own mini-2.08 moment #i don't expect any character consistency or anything i don't expect it to hold #but still.#liz makes stuff

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if-weshadows-haveoffended · 5 years

Text

Strela Amura Part 2- Chekov x Reader

A/N: IM NOT DEAD BABEY! A SHOCK!!! THOUGHT THE VOID WOULD EAT ME BY NOW!!! Sorry, exams were a nightmare and I had three jobs at one point rip in pieces and now im unemployed because Uni is doing its goshdarned best to run me over with a semi-trailer. Anyway this took a bit longer than expected as I ended up re-writing it from Jim’s perspective 😊

I took about a year hiatus from fic writing across the board and now im back so hopefully it’s a lot more active than it was my dudes <3

Title: Strela Amura (Cupid’s Arrow) (Part 2) Inspiration: here (x) Part 1: here (x) Prompt: here (x) Tags: Fluff, kinda-kirk’s-sister-but-kinda-not, Chekov and reader are doing their level best to give (and not give) Kirk a heart attack, Spock probably laughs in the distance as best as a vulcan can Words: 1400+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x)

James Tiberius Kirk had very nearly had it UP TO HERE with his youthful navigator.

What was it about curls? Was it the accent? Was it the ability to calculate multi-variable calculus and integrate functions with limits to positive and negative infinity in under thirty seconds?

He wasn’t entirely sure anymore.

“Jim!”

“Keptin!”

He stared at the pair in general, his younger ‘sister’ and his navigator, uniforms off and dripping wet, standing inside one of Scotty’s little maintenance closets, clothes strewn all over the floor.

“Jim, there’s a perfectly reasonable and totally-not-erotic reason for all of this,” His ‘sister’ tried explaining. He just let go of a very long-suffering sigh.

Perhaps he should start from the very beginning.

They’d somehow managed to get out of the freezing hell-hole that was 1886 St Petersburg. Jim would be the first to admit that it was definitely a team effort on the part of Scotty’s incredible engineering feats, Spock’s quick thinking, Sulu’s fencing and the combined efforts of Uhura and Chekov in translation. In fact, the only real problem they’d had was Bones’ grumbling and incessant fussing over his younger ‘sister’s’ health.

He’d almost forgotten how much he’d missed her passion and enthusiasm for knowledge and adventure.

Though apparently, it seemed to extend to his very adorable navigator.

It was probably… at least three hours max back on the ship before he’d had Sulu report back to him. Apparently, cute lil’ sister thought it’d be very polite of her to help strip off Chekov’s ridiculously knotted cravat… and his coat… and help unbutton his shirt… and help take it off…

And well, according to Sulu, who was too busy laughing his traitor ass off, said little sister got incredibly flustered as she helped bandage up a wound that Fairy Tale Prince over there thought would be incredibly brave and dashing.

Bones later told him it was just a flesh wound.

The fact it was on his upper thigh most certainly didn’t help.

Then there was of course the incident at the Mess Hall, where Chekov allowed her to daintily take a bite of his stroganoff from his fork. Which she, of course, did so with a slight giggle before hiding her face in her hands in total embarrassment.

He wanted to puke from the cuteness.

But of course, of course, it ONLY GOT WORSE FROM THERE.

Jim, personally, didn’t have a problem with staff inter-personal relationships, after all it was none of his business and it would be for the best if he stayed in his metaphorical galactic lane. And after all, his sister was an adult, and not even his own biological sister at that. Not that it didn’t mean he wasn’t any less protective…

No, he needed to stop being so protective. She was perfectly fine gallivanting off to the other side of the universe in search of teensy bits of pottery.

But there was just something that caught in his throat, every time he caught Ensign Chekov flexing his arms around her, or deliberately flirting with her with some of the cheesiest lines Jim had heard in his entire life (and he’d heard… more like delivered… quite a lot of them).

And not to mention, Jim also highly doubted that the phrase ‘give you an education on the complexities of Russian language’ was to be taken at face-value.

Although, apparently Bones and Spock (goddamned fucking Spock) found it amusing to see him so constipated at the ongoing events and their all-too-fast unfolding. It was like that one time Sulu decided to take the phrase ‘punch it’ quite literally, and travelled at speeds so fast that it required use of seatbelts. Bones would often mutter something about the pair needing to use protection under his breath as he would spy the pair innocently grin at each other from across the mess hall. Spock would often ask if he needed to brush-up on human marriage customs and their festivity traditions, and perhaps if he was prepared to be an uncle.

And perhaps Jim could do it. Perhaps he could take all the teasing and all the embarrassment up to that exact point.

But Ensign Pavel Andreivich Chekov had just crossed the fucking line.

Jim was gonna have to pluck out both his eyes.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Jim watched as the pair them (rather Chekov) jumped about four feet back from his sister. Jim’s traitor little sister (as he was now calling her in his head) was wearing nothing but her underwear, sitting on a med-bay bed and had a rather red Russian kneeling on the med bay floor with his shirt off and his head between her thighs.

Not fucking again. This was worse than St Petersburg already.

He taught her better than this, surely. Surely he told her to draw the curtains and leave some form of warning in the form of a tie or a boot hanging off a door!?

“What!” His (he wasn’t sure if he could call her his sister anymore, he couldn’t deal with the stress) sister blurted out, covering herself up with her discarded jumper. “No! It’s perfectly fine, it’s nothing really!”

“Nothing? You two hooking up on Bones’ thrice disinfected med-bay equipment is nothing?” Jim clarified. The girl had a death wish, surely, and she was dragging poor innocent little Chekov with her. He should have protected Chekov better. He should have warned him that despite appearances, his little sister was incredibly persuasive.

“Hooking-hooking up?” Chekov managed to choke out, looking absolutely terrified of the situation at hand. He seemed to be panicking and the red in his face and spread to his ears and neck. “We’re not-“

“Jimmy, darling dearest brother,” His sister said with a long-suffering sigh and a pinch of her nose bridge. “There was a chemical spill in the labs. We’ve both just gotten hosed down, you can even confirm our alibi with Spock. He’ll probably do a report later today.”

“I wasn’t eating your sister out, I swear!” Jim could feel his heart actually stop beating the moment his navigator shouted it out at an uncharacteristically high-pitched way. He swore he could hear his sister mumble out ‘I wouldn’t mind if you did,’ under her breath. “I was just picking up my PADD.”

“Which he needed to double check that this rash on my leg was due to an allergic reaction when the fabric of my trousers met the acid.” His sister continued for him. “Really Jim, you’re literally the only person who thinks that we’re up to something suspicious.”

“Unless you’d like us to be up to that, Keptin.” Chekov piped up cheerfully with a sunny grin. “You free later tonight?”

“Yes of course I am.” His sister agreed with a cheeky wink. “I’d say at my place but it’s far too close to my dear brother’s quarters for us to get up to anything particularly loud.”

“HOLD ON A SECOND YOUND LADY I MAY NOT BE RELATED-“

“Yes, I zink zat karaoke contest would be easier done at mine.” Jim’s mouth fell open while he watched the conversation unfold casually, as the pair got dressed.

“You’re on Pasha,” She winked putting on a large t-shirt and gathering up her clothes in a messy bundle in her arms.

Jim stared pointedly down at his shoes. Perhaps he was over-reacting… just a little. He just couldn’t help the possibility that these two golden, happy things may break their hearts. And it was simply something he didn’t want to have to deal with. Neither of them deserved heartbreak, that wrenching feeling growing a little bit in his heart.

He took one last glance at the pair of them, laughing as she nudged him into one of the nursing bay beds. Perhaps he should let them get to know one another, after all, she was a (barely) a fully grown adult and Chekov was also fairly responsible if he wasn’t getting into any hijinks-

He did a double-take, unsure if he just watched his little sister not-so-subtly tap Chekov on the ass, to which the young navigator responded with a wink.

Kirk wasn’t sure how the rest of his day was going to turn out, but he made a mental note to see if Bones would be free to diagnose the alcohol-induced liver failure he was about to incur in order to forget ever seeing that.

#Star trek x reader #chekov x reader #pavel chekov x reader #pavel chekov x reader imagine #reader x chekov #reader imagines #star trek fic #star trek alternate timeline fic

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