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echodrops · 5 years

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Home and Half Galra Headcanons

I have owed @latransmearnsi this for forever, finally trying to squeeze a few drops of blood minutes out of a stone out of my day to share a whole bunch more worldbuilding Galra headcanons connected to my fic Home and a Half.

How long do Galra live?

I know the show was all about Alteans living hundreds of years compared to humans, but then considering that plot line was promptly dropped and never brought up again, and the fact that Zarkon and co. are the only Galra implied to have lived for 10,000 years due to the power of the rift, I’m just going to go with Galra living slightly but not much longer than humans. In fact, since it was never clear if Coran’s comment about years meant 600 Earth years or 600 Altean years, I’ve elected to just go with the idea of Altean years being notably shorter than Earth years. And since Altea and Daibazaal are in the same system in my personal headcanon--more on this later--they share somewhat similar year lengths. Altea’s years are 8 Earth months long, and Daibazaal’s are 10. Of the three species, Alteans live the longest (max about 150 Earth years), and Galra the second longest (max about 125-130 Earth years).

But this is somewhat a moot point, since military service is mandatory for a huge portion of the adult Galra population, and casualties are high; therefore, most Galra do not live long enough to reach the maximum lifespan.

What are some other traditions or games?

I think I’ve mentioned two games so far: Renni, which is a card-based game that is similar to both Magic the Gathering/Yugi-Oh and chess (there are multiple types of cards--such as defensive, trap, spell, and attackers--and certain cards are placed in certain locations on a set board. Each card can move in a set way and distance; the objective is to get an attacking card through the enemy’s defenses and traps to strike their “castle”). Although I’m saying “card” here, of course what I mean is paper-thin electronics that project holograms in the shapes of monsters and weaponry.

Renni is a favorite past-time of Prince Lotor, by the way!

A second tradition/game is “Marfeil,” the hunting game children play on their clan day. A high-powered flying device (basically the equivalent of a super-powered Earth drone) is released in a set area, and all the clan’s children are set loose to track, hunt, and capture it. It’s a free-for-all where alliances are made and broken in an instant, and only one kid can make it back victorious with the prize in hand. It’s a test of the children’s athleticism and ability to tenaciously pursue a target. Big bragging rights go to the winner!

In terms of stuff I haven’t talked about before... The Galra battle arena is about as “ancient tradition” as they come, although the violent, horrific battles of Zarkon’s late reign are not what it was always like (just like the gladiatorial fights in Rome were not originally intended to be fights to the death). According to headcanons I wrote earlier, the Galra population was originally divided into autonomous clan groups that were eventually united under a king. However, especially in early centuries, the union of the clans was tenuous at best, and disagreements over territory and resources frequently sparked up into small-scale combat. Originally the arena was founded as a way for clans to do battle with each other in a relatively organized and more civilized manner--the two clans would send representatives who would duel fairly; the winner of the duel would correspondingly “win” the feud for his whole clan.

Eventually, clan feuds died out as power began to accumulate in the hands of the monarchy. Over time, religious views--more on this in a bit too--were altered to promote the kings and queens of Daibazaal as absolute monarchs, invested with the power of the goddess, and the arena took on a new meaning: it became the primary vehicle for choosing Daibazaal’s “champion,” the planet’s strongest fighter, who, once crowned, was appointed the right-hand of the king or queen. (Check out the religious question below for more on the symbolism here.) The champion was entrusted with protecting the lives of the ruling family, and enforcing the monarch’s word as law. It was once am extremely noble and revered position that Galra would train their whole lives hoping to attain, and even to this day, the concept of the “champion” is so engrained in Galra’s cultural consciousness that finding out Shiro is the current champion would absolutely blow Dulsara’s mind and she’d never want to hang out with anyone else ever again.

What determines the treatment of the natives of conquered planets?

This depends on two things: 1) who conquers them and 2) what they’re being conquered for. Although all of Zarkon’s generals and fleets report back to high command, there’s still flexibility in the way they carry out their orders. I.e., ten generals in a galaxy might be given the same order to conquer new systems, but each general might conquer in a different way--some in a bloody massacre and some in a significantly less violent manner. Generals are effectively the rulers of the planets they conquer (until they are called to conquer a new planet, and a viceroy is appointed instead), and therefore each of the conquered planets is ruled uniquely. Many of Zarkon’s generals are hand-picked for their violent, bloodthirsty behavior though, so unfortunately, many conquered peoples are brutally slaughtered or oppressed. There are a few rare situations where the opposite is true, however. In certain cases, Galra intervention has provided planets with lifesaving technologies that improve quality of life for the original inhabitants, leading to a few somewhat mutually beneficial situations.

Likewise, the reasons for occupying a planet also change how the populace is treated. Sometimes planets are conquered merely to eliminate strongholds for allied anti-Galra forces, and the conquered planet itself has no special use for the Galra. In these cases, sometimes nothing more than a single large base is built on the occupied planet, resulting in a situation where Galra occupation doesn’t massively inhibit the original lives of the planet’s people. This was case with the base where Niresh, Dulsara, and Xerci’s families lived--they were a military outpost for moving supplies and information, but the planet itself had no meaning to the Galra and therefore the original inhabitants were mostly left alone unless they attempted to interfere with the operations of the base. On other planet, Galra occupation has prompted important economic revivals that have turned impoverished civilizations into flourishing galactic hubs.

Unfortunately this is not the case everywhere--on planets rich with natural resources that the Galra empire needs, the planet’s original inhabitants are typically enslaved to serve as a workforce to extract the planet’s resources until the planet is no longer valuable; then the inhabitants are rounded up and exported for service elsewhere in the empire.

It’s not a pretty picture, but it’s also not a simple “The Galra are always bad.”

What do Galra eat? Mealtime customs and etiquette?

Galra are mesocarnivores with strong metabolisms. Traditionally their diets consisted of primarily meat proteins (about 60% of their diet was meat and eggs), with the rest being made up of fruits, mushrooms, and what would qualify on Earth as leafy greens. Nowadays, the Galra Empire largely runs on synthetic food goo, which is significantly cheaper and less resource-demanding than actual food and prevents the likelihood of Galra troops ingesting poisonous matter on the wide variety of planets they conquer. Galra stationed in space will pay large amounts of GAC for illicitly traded foodstuffs gathered by those stationed on planets, but food poisoning is alarmingly common because, despite their physical strength, Galra are chemically sensitive to many compounds which are not naturally found in their own star system. The list of things Keith is “allergic” to is actually obnoxiously long; Neuhahn once accidentally sent him into shock by allowing him to eat vanilla ice cream. When he’s in a good state, Keith is the team’s notoriously picky-eater, right up there with Pidge (who has issues with strange textures). Unfortunately, when Keith gets reallyyyy hungry, his thought process usually devolves into: “Nothing I’ve eaten has successfully killed me so far, so I’m sure I’ll survive.” Chomp.

On the other hand, there are some things Galra are not allergic to that would straight up kill humans; fugu fish and deathcap mushrooms are no problem for purple space cats.

One other aside about eating: there are a lot, a lot of mixed Galra in the universe since their DNA (if not their behavior) plays well with other species; generally a mixed Galra will still be sensitive to the same chemical commands that affect full-blooded Galra, but may have slightly different dietary needs. For example, Xerci is a granivore whose diet leans more toward staple grains and plant matter than meat. This actually makes the lives of mixed Galra much harder, as they have to account for their dietary limits as a Galra while also attempting to appease the diet needs of their other species.

In the current Galra Empire, mealtime customs are kind of a thing of the past for most people--soldiers just don’t have the time or energy to make a big fuss over food goo. As the empire spans on and Galra colonies become more and more remote from the source of their own heritage, the complex etiquette of the past is going by the wayside somewhat. Traditionally, Galra coalitions would gather together at mealtimes to eat as a family unit, and proper table manners were drilled into the younger generation by the older members of the family--sit up straight, no elbows on the table, etc. One notable faux pas that is still true today is sharing food directly from your plate to someone else’s. Doing so is a big insult to the cook--because either you didn’t like the food enough to eat it all, or your host didn’t serve their guests properly (Why are you trying to feed someone else? Are you saying I didn’t give them enough?). Because of this, Galra have a reputation among other species for being stingy with food--do not ask your Galra friend for a fry, you won’t get one--but it’s really just a matter of finding it rude not to eat everything that is placed on one’s plate. Keith has never heard of this rule. His habit of pinching from Shiro’s plate is an absolute scandal to the Blade of Marmora.

Table manners among royal families is a Big Deal(tm). Lotor has the rules for silverware on 200 different planets burned into his brain.

What exactly does Galra courtship entail?

Most of the answer to this is “I can’t tell you because spoilers.” But there are some things I can say, chief among which is: at all levels of the social hierarchy, Galra courting is just really, really... different.

In most human societies, the (highly heteronormative) goal is to meet a person, marry them, and raise a family. The opposite is true for Galra: having children isn’t at all tied to being in a couple relationship (there is no baby mama drama in the Galra world), so many of them have children first and then go looking for a permanent life partner later. The basic reason for this is that Galra are a lot more serious about the “’til death do us part” concept than humans are; when they finally settle on a person, that’s it, they’ve settled for the rest of their lives.

I don’t mean this in a soulmates AU kind of way--it’s not “this person I met at 17-years-old is my One True Love” it’s a lot closer to “Wow, I can’t believe it only took me until 52 to find the person I’d be happy to live with for the rest of my life!” They wait until they are absolutely, 100% sure of their choice before courting and formally settling down. (Caveat: Not everyone gets to choose. The higher up the social hierarchy, the less likely it is that a Galra would be free to pick their eventual match; Niresh’s parents had an arranged marriage, for example. The only reason Lotor isn’t betrothed to anyone is that Zarkon doesn’t want to run the risk of challenges from multiple potential heirs and also Lotor is not about that life thank you.)

So, long story longer, courting happens more among older Galra and less among impetuous teens. Also, it would be extremely rare (and foolish--ah, but they do say love makes fools of us all) for a Galra to court someone they don’t already know very, very well. That 100% sureness comes specifically from knowing the other person inside and out. It’s not unusual for Galra to be living together for years before finally declaring their intention to formally court.

The actual courting is... equally weird. The most common way to signal interest in courting is engaging the other person’s coalition in the Galra equivalent of “flyting”--you insult the person you’re interested in in front of every one of their family members. Your insults serve two purposes: first of all, the more detailed and personal your insults are, the more obvious it is that you completely and fully know the person you’re interested in. If you can fairly point out every single bad habit and negative point about them, then you’ve paid close enough attention to know them deeply, as well as their family does. Second, being brave enough to insult someone in front of their very close-knit family is a must in Galra courting. If you shy away from the challenge of facing the family, you’re not worth anyone’s time.

After your insults, the family answers back in the opposite, with nothing but praise for their family member, and a back-and-forth battle begins assessing the person in question. The final goal is for the courter to "be persuaded” that of course, of course the family is right and the person in question is worth all the effort in the universe and more. It’s a game designed to demonstrate your knowledge of the other person as well as air out any grievances or sticking points before the courtship proceeds.

(You can see where other species’ might struggle with this--many an intentional insult has been mistaken for the opposite.)

After that, things get even sillier, but in the interest of time and space, I’ll leave this answer here.

What are their views on pets?

Galra are big pet keepers! Historically the “pets” were war animals that aided the clans in their conflicts with other clans, but over time pets have come to just be beloved household companions. Unfortunately, military members are not allowed to keep pets, no matter HOW incredible the critters they find on their space travels are. This doesn’t stop everyone. Many an escaped secret pet has caused serious issues on-board Galra battlecruisers. Civilian Galra family groups often have a motley collection of pets. Two problems: 1) The illegal pet trade is hyper-aggressive in the Galra Empire. They import thousands upon thousands of species of animals, without too much regard for the long-term species survival of these animals. 2) What qualifies as a “pet” to the Galra sometimes includes the citizens of other planets. It does not pay to be a small fuzzy person (or a big scary fuzzy person) in the Galra Empire. Sometimes slaves who escape the arena end up in the pet trade instead. Pet abuse is strangely not okay in the Galra Empire, but that doesn’t mean that being treated like a pet instead of a person is any less horrific.

(God help Keith when the kids finally reason out the argument, “Allura has mouses, so why can’t WE have a pet?”)

What's Galra mythology like? Religions?

I’m glad you asked this because this is actually at the heart of a lot of Galra plot line in HaaH. As I mentioned earlier, in this fic, Daibazaal and Altea were both in the same quadrant and although they weren’t particularly near each geographically, they were close enough to each other that they inherited some surprisingly parallel mythologies, shared with numerous other planets in their general region of space. In particular, both Altea and Daibazaal prominently feature legends related to a lion goddess. On Daibazaal, the legend goes that the creation of everything we know began with the lion goddess, the first star. The roar of the goddess shook the universe and created the ever-expanding waves of space and time; the shine of her eyes in the void became the burning cores of stars; the weight of her swift passages formed gravity and orbit. She breathes and life flows over planets. (In short, the lion goddess is a sort of visual representation or embodiment for what we humans would just call “energy” or “order”.)

But the very existence of the goddess ensured the existence of her diametric opposite--the antithesis of all creation, the extermination of all life, all energy, all differentiation. This being has no form of its own (it is what all things will become when they become nothing--entropy or chaos itself, if you will), but it constantly fights to upset the balance in the universe, to claim more than its fair share.

The legends say that four times the lion goddess took a physical form and came to defend Daibazaal from the onslaught of darkness--once by fire, once by water, once by earth, and once by vine--and at last when the whole planet rang with the force of her being, she put part of her soul itself into a mortal, her first champion, that he and all his descendants would be blessed with the power to combat evil wherever they roamed.

Of course, you can see how this kind of origin story might lend itself to propaganda. The early kings and queens of unified Daibazaal used the legend to their advantage, first claiming that they were direct descendants of the blessed champion, and then a step further--that, by possessing the strongest remnants of her soul, they ought to be treated and revered as physical manifestations of the goddess herself. This evolved over time alongside other cultural fixtures like the arena, until religion became irreparably tied to politics for the Galra: by the time Zarkon took the throne, the general agreement was that whoever was emperor/empress was the representation of the goddess made physical, and the champion crowned in the arena was the one blessed and bound to carry out both the power--and the will--of that “goddess.”

Over Zarkon’s reign, the influence of the religious aspects have waned significantly--it was not beneficial for the Galra to believe in a higher power instead of their immortal emperor--and so the importance of the goddess has been continually downplayed while the importance of the emperor has grown. Although most people still treat Zarkon as if he were a god and “the champion” is still an awe-inspiring figure, the significance behind “the goddess gave us power so that we could fight evil” has definitely been lost behind “we have power and it’s only right for us to use it.”

(You can see the obvious links to Voltron here. It’s definitely not accidental, but I’m not going to say much more than that.)

What are some common Galran phrases?

Ha ha oh man, I don’t want to write anything here and then have to take it back later when I inevitably over-think language stuff...

"Sticks and flungr” is a very unflattering why of saying someone doesn’t have their shit in order. A messy house might be described with this saying, or turning in a half-assed report at work. (For reference, it’s referring to the Frinunnel bird’s habit of making lopsided, disheveled nests out of well... sticks and poo.)

“Vrepitsatir” is a “yes man,” a military flunkie who mindlessly agrees to everything the higher-ups say without questioning it.

“Notches” is a way of referring to past lovers, based on the common habit of ear-nipping between partners.

“Be careful--Zarkon’s watching!” is an empire-wide joke, especially among the lower-level military, when you find out someone is up to something they shouldn’t be. The effect is pretty close to the joking Earth phrase “Ooohh, I’m tellinggg.”

Phew, I think that covers it!

#Home and a Half #HaaHVLD #Voltron #Galra #Galra headcanons #Voltron fanfic #Latransmearnsi

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silentfcknhill · 5 years

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Ultimate Ship Meme: Thanos and Ebony Maw

~THANMAW~

General:

How long will they last? - Forever? At least a few hundred thousand years/until they die.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Ebony became obsessed with Thanos as soon as Thanos rescued him. Thanos only came to view Ebony in a new light a couple hundred years later, when Ebony accidentally confessed his feelings. Because his mission was already completed, he was free to consider new possibilities such as starting a new family.

How was their first kiss? - Satisfying and intense.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - They’re not technically married, Thanos doesn’t really believe in marriage because it relies upon the idea that there is some higher authority such as a god or a government that you are asking permission to bless your union. In Thanos’s case, there is no higher authority than himself, so instead of a wedding they had a dark ‘ritual’ where Thanos ‘proposed’ by offering Maw a collar of ownership. Maw immediately accepted and so they had a ceremony with a few close people (the rest of the Black Order mostly), and Thanos collared Maw to make it official. It was all very cultish and disturbing, and Thanos acted as the priest/groom/god.

Who is the best man/men? - There wasn’t one.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - None.

Who did the most planning? - Thanos did it all.

Who stressed the most? - Probably Ebony, worrying about being and looking perfect for his lord on the big day. But when the ritual actually got started he was too overwhelmed with joy to stress anymore.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Loki

Sex:

Who is on top? - Thanos

Who is the one to instigate things? - Thanos is the one to officially instigate things, but sometimes Ebony will make it fairly obvious when he is horny which would prompt Thanos to instigate.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Thanos has the endurance to last all night. Ebony has the drive to last all night, but unfortunately not the physical stamina.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Thanos lasts way longer than Ebony and usually prefers to refrain from orgasming for as long as possible. He gets off on self-control, but wants to make sure he gives Ebony (who orgasms frequently) lots.

How rough are they in bed? - (All of these are true, it varies on mood.)Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - (Depends on if Thanos is busy with work and if they’re in private or not because he doesn’t do PDAs.)No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Too many to count.

How many children will they adopt? - Thanos adopted one of Ebony’s biological children, Lyss (who is an adult now), from when he was held in captivity as a breeder. One day Thanos went out to search and see if any of the children Maw had given birth to had survived the destruction of his planet, and he ended up locating Lyss and reuniting him with Ebony as a gift to his mate.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Ebony does that kind of stuff usually.

Who is the stricter parent? - Definitely Thanos. He is all tough love.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ebony is the more worried parent normally. He henpecks about everything because he’s so fussy and particular.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Nobody really ‘packs’ lunches, because the children don’t go to a separate school, they are taught at home. But Thanos makes the lunches for everyone, he’s very specific about food in general.

Who is the more loved parent? - Depends on which kid we’re talking about but in general probably Maw because he spends more time bonding and caring for the children while Thanos usually plays the role of ‘bad cop’ disciplinarian when he has to.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - There are none.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Again, no traditional graduation.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Neither. Ebony is more lenient and more likely to let the kids off the hook when they misbehave, but he would never argue with Thanos about any punishment they get from him.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Thanos. He doesn’t trust anyone with food.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Thanos is EXTREMELY picky about his food, hence why he makes it all himself. He tried having cooks before on Sanctuary ll but it…didn’t end up well for them.

Who does the grocery shopping? - They don’t shop, Thanos grows all of his own food in his farm/garden.

How often do they bake desserts? - Rarely. The kids don’t get to eat junk food, but sometimes Thanos has made Maw cupcakes as a gift on birthdays or something.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Thanos doesn’t eat meat. Because of this, Maw also stopped eating meat when he met Thanos.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Thanos is the one who does that kind of thing. he doesn’t like surprises for himself, even pleasant ones.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - They don’t really ‘go out’ to eat.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Neither. Thanos knows what he is doing and Maw would only be cooking under training/supervision from Thanos.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Ebony is more focused on details like this.

Who is really against chores? - Neither.

Who cleans up after the pets? - They don’t really have any ‘pets’. There are animals that live on Thanos’s farm but they are free to wander around. They usually stick around though because they get fed well there. Thanos cleans up after them.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Neither.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - They don’t have many guests but that definitely sounds like an Ebony thing. He’s very anxious about presentation and being judged whereas Thanos knows the guests are way too scared of him to be worth being stressed over.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Neither, they don’t believe in using money.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Both about equal, and they often do so together anyways.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - No dog.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They don’t celebrate holidays, so there’s no special decorations that change at different times.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Ebony’s is to serve Thanos in every way and never displease him, and Thanos’s is to maintain a ‘power couple’ relationship and have a ‘queen’ to rule the universe at his side, someone loyal and worthy.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Thanos doesn’t really ever need sleep, and Ebony is usually too busy with the kids to sleep that long. They’re both morning people.

Who plays the most pranks? - Neither. That’s ‘uncle’ Corvus’s job.

#asks #jcmorrigan #thanmaw

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited. I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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besthealthtale-blog · 5 years

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What This Mom Learned About Food Culture in America After Her Baby Stopped Eating

You’ll want to have tissues handy when you dive into The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image, and Guilt in America. Though the new book from Virginia Sole-Smith might sound at first blush like a feminist or body-positivity book—both of which it is—it’s also a deeply personal, heart-wrenching story.

Sole-Smith’s elder daughter, Violet, stopped eating by mouth at nine weeks old, and didn’t start again until she was about 16 months old. Rare congenital heart defects landed Violet in the hospital four weeks into her tiny life, and she emerged with what’s known medically as an oral aversion or infantile anorexia. It’s “when a child refuses to eat as a way of protecting herself from perceived trauma,” writes Sole-Smith. Violet was restricted to feeding tubes for much of her infancy, leaving her mother stricken, frightened, and wondering, “What does it mean to learn to eat, in a world that’s telling us not to eat?”

A journalist who covers health, parenting, lifestyle, and culture, Sole-Smith dove into the topic with a reporter’s zeal for talking to experts. She interviewed dieticians (including some with their own eating disorders), poverty-stricken moms recovering from cocaine addictions, “health at every size” activists, anti-fat doctors, and plenty of researchers. The result is a data-packed book with the epic tale of little Violet re-learning to eat threaded throughout.

Here, Sole-Smith delves deeper into a few of the topics she covered in her book.

Your book ends with your desire to feed your younger daughter by mouth. Did that work?

Beatrix is 10 months old and a very typical eater; she took swimmingly to breastfeeding and bottle-feeding. I really went into baby number two thinking my number one goal is a baby who eats by mouth. I am not picky. I also knew after the devastating experience with Violet and breastfeeding [that] I didn’t want all that pressure on my shoulders.

We did combination feeding [a mix of breast milk and formula] from the beginning. She had a little formula her first night [to] help take the pressure off. My milk took a couple days to come in. … Then we did what worked. I was like, “I’m not listening to anyone this time. Tell everyone to shut up. I’m going to feed the baby the way that makes sense.”

The “breast is best” breast-feeding pressure thing that moms hear; is it hammered a lot?

A few years ago when I had Violet it really felt like I had to breast-feed this baby or I had failed as a mother. I don’t think that’s quite there anymore. What I’m still seeing is now a set of “allowed” circumstances in which you can [choose not to] breast-feed but you have to have failed at it. … “It’s OK to be using formula if you had a traumatic birth. If there are reasons … because XYZ happened.”

We’re not yet to a place where people can generally do what I did [with Beatrix], which is, “I’m going to do what works and not feel bad about it. I’m gonna stop breast-feeding when it stops being fun.”

Isn’t breast-feeding also a big time commitment for women?

It’s a huge time commitment. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, breast-feeding is free,’ doesn’t think a woman’s time is worth anything. My billable hours are [worth] a lot more than a can of formula. It’s another way that our culture is saying, “We control women’s bodies; we control women and food.” That’s what I’m arguing against in the book. There’s a lot of overlap between diet culture messages and exclusive breastfeeding messages. I think the two have gotten pretty murky. The literature is not cut-and-dry on what the healthiest choice is. There are many circumstances where formula is the healthiest choice for the baby. We don’t celebrate that. We just say, “Women need to turn their bodies over to the babies,” just like we say the rest of the time, “Women have to be as thin as possible.” It’s all of a piece, in my mind.

Trying to get Violet to eat by mouth, you used the “division of responsibility” theory. Can you explain it?

It’s a theory developed by Ellyn Satter, a family therapist and nutritionist, back in the 80s. She’s written several books about it, but I’m seeing it more and more in the mainstream conversations around kids, which is really exciting. The premise of it is that children are autonomous beings who should have agency over their bodies and what goes into their bodies. Rather than parents being in charge of every bite of food and meticulously counting out portions and all that, it says, “Nope, parents and children are in a feeding relationship, and they each have certain roles.”

Parents are in charge of what food is offered, where it’s offered (preferably at a table, not in front of the TV or mindlessly grazing around the house), and when it’s offered. They try to keep kids on a schedule so that kids have time to get hungry and come to the table hungry. After that—after they’ve said, “OK, we’re eating dinner at this time, and this place, and here’s what your choices are,” the parents’ job is done.

Kids are in charge of how much they eat, which of the foods they eat of what you offer, and even whether they eat at that meal. They’re in charge of listening to their bodies, in terms of hunger and fullness, and in terms of, “Of the foods you’re offering me, what do I really need right now? Maybe I don’t really need a piece of chicken at this meal; maybe I’m really hungry just for the pasta.” That’s fine. We kind of trust kids to listen to their bodies and know what they’re really hungry for.

Having seen parent friends negotiate “one more piece of chicken before you’re done,” I feel like this must be controversial. Is it?

We had to do division of responsibility; we were in an extreme situation. What I see with parents who are feeding kids in more typical situations, is when they’re not practicing division of responsibility, it’s probably fine for a while, depending on the temperament of your kid. A lot of kids are like, “Yeah, I’ll have another bite of broccoli, whatever. My mom really cares that I finish all these blueberries, so I’ll just do it.” … That’s fine. Not every family will find that strategy problematic, at least in the short term.

But what will happen over time is that child is being given the message that many of us received as kids of, “I don’t know what’s best for my body. I don’t know what I’m hungry and full for. When I do feel full, maybe I can’t trust that, because somebody else—this adult that I love and I trust—is saying, ‘No, no, no. I know what your body needs. It doesn’t need a cookie. You shouldn’t want a cookie. You should want broccoli.’” That doesn’t line up with the kid’s [experience]. It’s a really confusing message to send to kids.

My concern is that over time, with typical eaters, that leads to undercutting their sense of trust in their own bodies, and that makes them much more vulnerable to the messages of diet culture. Because now they’ve sort of grown up thinking, “I don’t know what’s best for me with food.” So of course when they’re struggling with weight, or feeling unhappy with their body for whatever reason, they think, “I must need a diet or this external rules to tell me what to do because I’ve never known. No one’s ever said, ‘[You] know what’s best for your body.’”

I want to be clear: It’s not about shaming parents who do that. It’s just about thinking long-term. We’re thinking short term, “I gotta get this kid through eating without a meltdown.” I have all the empathy in the world for that. Those short-term decisions are hard to pull off. … What you want long-term isn’t always what you want short-term.

Some would say, “Kids are wrong that they need cookies. I know more than they do.”

What I would say is, I don’t think any of us know as much as we think we know about nutrition. The nutrition advice is always changing. When I was a kid in the ‘80s, it was all about fat, and low-fat and fat free, and now we’re all, “More with the avocados and coconut oil!” The science on this is not settled in any way.

To say I’m gonna follow nutrition instead of letting my kids listen to their own bodies, you’re not taking the more cut-and-dry fact-based approach by any means. There is good data supporting division of responsibility. It’s not as robust as I’d like, but we are starting to see more data supporting that teaching kids to honor hunger and fullness is a way to put them towards a healthier relationship with food. The parent is still in charge of choosing the what. You are still choosing the nutrition. But we’re not dictators. We’re more benign leaders.

We always have a banana on the dinner table; it’s one of my daughter’s safe foods. If she’s not going to eat the rest of the meal, I know she’ll eat the banana, and I’ve accommodated her that way.

In your book’s conclusion, you dream of a world of judgment-free, guilt-free eating. Are you an intuitive eating proponent?

Yeah. I’m in no way an expert on it. I’m not a dietician or someone who can offer the specifics of how you learn that. It’s something that I aspire to and practice myself, I try to encourage it with my kids, and as with all things, I’m always overly hesitant to use the label, because there are lots of diet plans marketed around intuitive eating that are really not. Caveat that I’m for trueintuitive eating, not intuitive eating with a goal of weight loss. It’s the only way I’ve found that makes sense.

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klinejack · 6 years

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i was tagged by @clarz - thank you for this! rules: answer questions given by the person who tagged you, write 11 new questions of your own, tag 11 people.

i’m gonna tag some people today cuz i worked hard on this and it took a long time...whoops. no pressure XD @wellsjahasghost @tylerstitties @runicscribbles @xproskeith @anomalagous @ginevraslovegood @quicklikelight @westhallen @lozenger8 @prudence-halliwell @malecbellarke

omg i’m sorry i just realized it’s really long. this is what happens when you take 2 days to answer a tag game. feel free to skip my answers and head to the new Qs if you want! or neither! love you <3

1. Do you find it frustrating that although you know how certain things “work” (for instance, how a love interest not calling you back automatically increases your interest), you can’t help but being drawn in? Can you give me an example? (For the record, this principle describes the entirety of my complicated one-sided relationship with one Harry Edward Styles.)

Yeeeeah i feel like most things in my life approach that level of frustration tbh. I have very little self control sometimes. I’m covered in a haze of addiction, and my impulse control/temper lives on a volatile little rickety branch in my brain where there’s always a lightning storm in the distance. Okay so what I mean is (and I’m not sure i really understand the question but I’m trying), I find it extremely frustrating that I am always aware of what the outcome will be and yet I constantly put myself in the position to be frustrated and/or disappointed by it. Did I get it? Like, if we’re talkin about celebrity obsessions, or having a crush on someone (which, yeah, I guess I kinda remember what that’s like irl), I suppose I’ve come to terms with that kind of distant admiration thing being divorced from reality- I mean, it’s been a life long struggle, so it doesn’t really get to me as much anymore. Usually. The “fangirl” in me is very, very young, and I don’t really know her anymore. If I’m talking about fighting my impulses or my mental health, or like, leaving earlier so I’m not late and then angry in traffic.... that’s a bit more frustrating. I will never leave early. Why? I don’t fucking know. And it’s the Worst. Idk if that fits with your question but yeah, I know how my behavior affects my mood and I could change it, but I don’t, and I can’t help it.

2. What is the longest book or series of books you’ve ever read? Were you at a loss when you finished? Do you generally like series or prefer stand-alone books?

The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind! I love it so much. Haven’t read it in a long time, but that shit is like over 20 books and he’s still writing.. a legend. I was at a loss several times at the end of certain books that I thought were really gonna be the End, but then he made some like, spin off series a bit. So we’re good. Generally I love a good series, but there are so many stand alone books that I adore so.. I don’t know. Why am I writing so formally? This is tiresome, I’m gonna stop now. Stupid capital letters.

other series i love include everything in the tolkien universe, and of course harry potter, and also the percy jackson books. tolkien is pretty epic, to say the least, and rick riordan is fucking prolific, so hp is like, on the small side in terms of series (tho i did reread the last 2 at least a dozen times, and the audiobooks on many a long drive). also those motherfukcing maze runner books were like... there’s not that many of them, but that one i can definitely say left me at a loss. i’m still not ready to watch the last 2 movies but i hope to one day. for dylan.

3. Ever seen a therapist or gone to a support group? Did it help?

yup. i’ve seen quite a few therapists. i don’t think it’s helped in the long term, and i’m not sure it helped in the short, though there was a time i liked it because i was indulging my self analysis, but that for sure wasn’t helpful. i tried a couple cbt therapists thinking that could be a good way to go, but nothing ever really changed, so it’s hard to tell what’s going wrong- is it the therapy or is it me? idk i just think on the whole it’s got a negative color for me. i still see someone once every few weeks, but it’s a chore. this is really completely against everything i believe about therapy, btw, and i def considered becoming one when i was in university. i do think it’s beneficial, i guess just maybe not to me.

4. What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken? Did you drive or were you just a passenger? What is your favorite road trip ritual, if you have any (the particular gas station snacks, the car games, the fights over music choices, the rest stops, etc.)?

oh my, well i’ve been on a few road trips in my life, but probably not as many as you americans do. the longest one was probably as a child, when i was about 3 or 4 my parents took us across the states, to the grand canyon (i don’t think we actually got there) in our mustard yellow vw bus. i had to be too small to remember but i definitely do (my dad’s a photographer so the boxes upon boxes of film helps): - sleeping on the ceiling in the bus like on a fucking shelf that stuck out above the driver seats. it was way too cool. - staying in a trailer park and walking over to this little building where there was some scary movie playing that had spinning wheels on fire (i think it was like some 80s horror version of rumpelstiltskin or something). i can literally picture a scene from it, just can’t really describe it. traumatizing. - playing on a beach somewhere (cape cod?) and having something nip at my little toes.

on other trips with friends we’ve shared the driving, but the most recent one from LA to vegas my friend wouldn’t let me touch the rental wheel. he thinks i’m a terrible driver. it was ok tho i got to take pictures instead.

i don’t really have a fave ritual since i don’t do much road “tripping” per se, but since i’ve lived in both toronto and new york i have done a shit ton of driving long distance, and i absolutely love it. my fave thing to do is make sure i have enough show tunes and stand up comedy on the playlist, and even some cds on back up, so i can lose my voice on the drive. usually i have some good ol’ tim horton’s french vanilla and a croissant on the side to keep me going, and if it’s long enough i usually stop somewhere for some french fries and/or a coke to wake up. god i love driving.

5. Which do you find increases more rapidly, your age or your idea of what age is old?

ugh. my age. i don’t feel old but that stupid time nonsense says otherwise. it needs to stop.

6. Do you talk to your animals when no one else is in the room? What do you say to them? Do you talk to animals you see on the street, at zoos, in your yard? How much of a face does an animal have to have to be talk-to-able? (For example, do rodents count? Birds? Fish? Cockroaches? WHERE’S THE LINE)

absolutely. i talk to pretty much fucking everything, animals or otherwise, i don’t care who’s in the room. there is no line. the line does not exist.

7. If they cooked, which dish of your mom’s/dad’s/parental figure is or was your favorite? Which was your least favorite? Do you often cook dishes your parents used to make for you for yourself now, as an adult?

welllllll my parents do cook, but over the years i came to really dislike a lot of my mom’s cooking.. habits, lets say. my dad is great on the bbq, and with all meats, but my mom is usually the organizer and most often the chef. her staples are chicken and brisket, sometimes salmon, in various ways. the problem is i’ve always been a picky eater, and tho my own tastes have branched out, my mom still thinks she needs to cook everything super plain and sometimes it’s kinda gross. like, she’ll make some fancy chicken for everyone else and throw a boneless breast covered in teriyaki sauce in a casserole in the oven for me. it does NOT taste good. but she can make a really great schnitzel, and brisket is hard to do wrong. i don’t make anything for myself the way she does it really, but my eating/cooking habits are all wonky anyway.

8. Do you ever check your voicemail? Do you answer calls from numbers you don’t have programmed into your phone?

i check it if someone left a message, why wouldn’t you? what if it’s an emergency? in fact, my best friend does not. so i guess.. that’s a thing. i for sure do not answer any call that doesn’t show a name that i recognize- even then it’s a stretch. i have to really want/need to talk to you, otherwise it’s gonna be on my terms. my phone and i have a hate-hate relationship.

9. How often do you go to the grocery store? Are you good at it? Do you have any kind of strategy or list prepared beforehand?

i go when i run out of something i wanna eat; my store is right on the corner. i basically just do the curve around the breads/fruits/veggies if i need it, then head to the aisles which i skim from the back where the frozen/refrigerated stuff is, poking in to the aisles i need to grab the shit i’ve run out of. i eat pretty much the same way most of the time so my list is in my head (which is not always a good place, but i try hard. if i forget something i go back for it next time).

10. Do movies frequently make you cry? Do you find you’re more likely to cry in the theater or at home? When people are around or by yourself?

oh hell yes. if they’re good or i’m in a mood. i don’t think it matters much where i am if it’s public or private, the cry will come if the moment is right, and i could give no shits XD

11. Have you ever seen the sun rise? Did you kind of like the weird, slightly chilly liminal space of it, or did you just wish you were still in bed?

yes i have, in so many different contexts. mostly i watch it rise because i stay up That Late most of the time (except this time of year, i haven’t seen it in a good while), wishing my ass was finally in bed going “fuck. there’s the sun again. way to go me.” but i’ve also experienced that first bit. out in the desert after a 16k hike, sweat pouring off my skin and fire burning on the surface, hissing it away. standing on top of an ancient mountain facing the dead sea, limbs aching from climbing it with the sun racing at our backs, trying to get to the top before we missed it rise. ya. sunsets are pretty, too.

so how am i supposed to think of 11 questions?? i hope none of these are from some post i saw one time, i’m gonna try to be original without rambling too much:

1- if you could go back to one major decision you made that impacted the path of your life and change it, would you? what was it? how do you think your life would be different? or don’t answer those second two questions, if you don’t want to.

2- in what direction does your belief lean (like, you don’t have to agree with my description of it, but what fits your image best):

a single/multiple divine power that controls every facet of our existence (or like, any traditional religious worldview), with or without free will?

a harmonious interconnected universal complex that directs matter and energy but is affected by our existence in said universe?

everything is just a series of random events passing through time and everything that happens, everything we do, makes the next thing happen, but it could have happened any other way as well.

do these things make sense? idk try and figure it out.

3- on that topic, what do you think happens when we die? do we go to heaven/hell or some other religious construct? do we have a soul that sticks around? reincarnation? do we just... end, and decompose, and that’s it? what do you really think? are you afraid to find out you were wrong?

4- tell me about a moment in a movie or a show that made you go all tingly inside, like, that really special tingle, and every time you see it you get those feelings again.

5- what’s your go-to method for letting out stress?

6- what are 3 of your favorite words (english or otherwise)? why do you love them? the way they sound? the way they look? what they mean? (i usually would answer this based on sound, kinda like fave color, just a feeling).

7- this isn’t so original but i wanna know- if you could live in any other period of time, in any part of the world, what would it be and why? or would you even? would you if you could choose your station/place in society?

8- is there anything you’ve ever done or ever happened to you that you absolutely never ever could ever tell anyone about? not even your soulmate or someone who would never judge you? if so, does it bother you, or do you have it tucked away in your mind and never think about it?

9- which teen wolf cast member would you get along with best? not who would you like to be in a relationship with, but who do you think you’d have the best relationship with (romantic/platonic/otherwise)? if you don’t think you know any of them well enough... which one would you bone? boooooooooone all night long?

10- do you have a talent/skill that you feel is really underrated or underused by you or others? is there something you’re really proud of but have nobody to brag to about it because nobody you know really cares at all? brag to me.

11- do you think it’s truly possible to be happy if you never have a significant other(s) for the rest of your life? could you ever be?

THAT’S ALL FOLKS. wow i can’t believe i wrote all of that shit and you read it. way to go us. thanks again, clara!

#clarz #tagging games #personal #personal info #food mention cw #death mention cw #i can't believe how much i just fucking wrote imean.....#sorry

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myprofessionalpractice · 4 years

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about me

I’ve been putting this one off. I struggled for a while to write this entry, which strikes me as funny, seeing as it’s all about me. You’d have thought I’d know the most about myself - and I do, of course, but I think the hard part is articulating it, or writing it down.

For starters I thought about what I'm like creatively. I have always loved drawing people, specifically girls, in fashionable clothes and outfits. Even as I got older, I still found myself defaulting to these when I needed something to draw. Often it was characters from already established films or projects: Disney princesses, superheroes, characters from musicals. For a long time I wanted to go into character design as I have always enjoyed developing characters of my own and making up backstories to go alongside them.

As I was growing up I think I had some kind of deprivation when it comes to films, specifically animated ones: I didn't watch anything Disney until I was about eleven, but after that I fell in love with them. As an adult I’ve educated myself on Studio Ghibli, programmes like Moomin, Over the Garden Wall, Avatar: The Last Airbender and Steven Universe. Although a lot of these programmes are for children, I’ve grown to appreciate what goes into making a show like it, how much care, attention and creativity it takes. I would love to be a part of something like that.

I bought an iPad Pro in January 2018 and fell in love with drawing on Procreate. Before then I’d loved watercolours and gouache, and although I took a brief break from using them whilst I got used to my iPad, I’ve always loved them. I know quite a lot about different materials; growing up I took it upon myself to try most of them, and I found which ones I liked and which ones I didn't. I started an Instagram to try and get my art out into the world and found a lovely community to encourage me.

Our first year module, Illustration Practice, helped me to experiment with different types of illustration. Although I wanted to do an illustration degree, I never actually knew much about the different aspects of it. I learned how to make gifs, learned of reportage, graphic novels, book publishing and children’s book illustration and editorials. I also gained more in-depth knowledge of character development and design. I loved this module a lot, and really appreciated how much it taught me, not to mention the friends I made.

There are parts of illustration that wouldn't necessarily work on this course that I would love to try. Like I mentioned, I've always loved fashion and fashion illustration, and I grew up doodling outfits in the back of my sketchbooks. I did textiles at high school and was not very good at sewing (admittedly, I never practiced all that much, but I've never been known for my patience). I had a long period of time where I didn't care about clothes or outfits, as many girls do - maybe some sort of teenage rebellion - but I’ve fallen back into it, and alongside it, the world of fashion illustration and photography. I think to explore it in an educational capacity I’d have to do a textiles degree instead, but of course there's no reason why I can’t explore it in my own time, like I always used to.

Tying into this, sort of, is musical theatre. For my fine art A Level I did a project on costume, and I focused on musical theatre, film and ballet, all three things I love. Musical theatre is one of my favourite things in lots of aspects; for a couple of years it was the only music I listened to, and I still love watching and listening to them dearly. A few of my friends are ‘musicals friends’, in that I only ever really see them to watch a show!

I suppose if you were to ask me to tell you what defines me, what thing I really love that I dedicate lots of my time and effort to, it would be swimming. It doesn't tie into my creative identity much, but it’s an outlet, and a hobby, one that has always helped me. I’ve been swimming all my life but started competitively when I was 10, joining a swimming club, and I've been training with them ever since. Now, as a senior, I train seven times a week - twice in the early morning - and surprisingly, I've never got bored. In fact swimming has always helped me cope with stress and anxiety: I kept training all through my exams and last year when I lived at uni and trained less with the uni team, I could really feel a difference in my mental health. Now I'm living at home and back up to seven sessions a week, I may be a bit more tired, but I'm happy.

Like everyone, there's lots of random things that make me who I am. I’m a vegetarian and have been since I was about seven or eight (in reality it stemmed from me being a picky eater, so I can't say it was because of my steadfast morals, although it kind of is now). I love to read, even if I rarely have time any more. Now I take trains to uni I’m trying to get back into it. I am very, very, embarrassingly bad at maths. I have a bit of an obsession with pirates - I’m not sure whether it comes from the outfits, or the swashbuckling adventure, or the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. I always wear proper pyjamas with collars and buttons, and I find it extremely bizarre that people can go to bed in any random clothes. Sleeping in joggers is morally wrong, in my opinion.

When I came to university my ideal career was working in visual development for films or television, to be part of a team making something I love to send out in the world for people to love and enjoy. It’s easy to see how attached people get to films they love, and it would mean the world to me to bring that enjoyment to someone. This would still be an ideal career for me, but university has taught me about different options in our field, ones I also have an interest in. I’m excited to explore these more.

Plus, it will be incredibly interesting, in ten years’ time, to come back to this - this blog entry on a public platform - to see what I loved, what interested me and what I wanted out of my career, and where I ended up.

#review

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ihealthlove1-blog · 5 years

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Parents May Mistake Picky Eating for a More Intense Eating Infection

ARFID isn’t popular, but experts state the extreme disorder may lead to serious health problems if a child doesn’t secure proper treatment.

At some point or another, many children go through a picky eating stage.

They do not want to use new items they refuse foods that they loved, and so they generally drive their parents mad each and every time that they turn their noses up at anything was placed on their plate.

It is ordinary, and it usually does not last long.

Except when they don’t.

She had been one of those kids who never really ceased being picky in what he ate. And also his variant of picky proved to be an intense most parents probably cannot imagine. Indeed, there have been five foods he was willing to eat.

His mother,,”When the child was 2 years of age, he simply ate Aunt Jemima frozen sandwiches, Tyson chicken nuggets, goldfish, Cocoa Pebbles, and McDonald’s french fries. No additional brands of the foods were okay. He’d had some veggies, fruits, or grains.”

Concerned about his eating patterns, Jayce’s parents moved to his or her inheritance. But these were told this is only a standard point and so they should quit giving him the foods he had been demanding.

“Kids won’t starve themselves” could be your lineup most pediatricians provide parents of picky eaters.

However, she did.

“He awakened himself for the entire week,” she explained. “At the conclusion of this seven days, he had been lethargic he couldn’t get off the sofa”

What they didn’t understand at the time was that she was working with an eating disorder most people haven’t been aware of: avoidant/restrictive food intake disease (ARFID.) ARFID was inserted to the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness in 2013.

Prior to that point, this is a state few professionals knew anything around. Even today, parents may be hard pressed to locate a health care provider who knows just how to deal with it.

However, those who have dealt with ARFID are passionate about increasing awareness. So, details with the ailment are starting to find their way into various mom blogs, online books, and treatment center pages.

The impact of ARFID

Castle is just one of those professionals who both understands and treats ARFID. She’s written extensively about the condition and contains dedicated an entire podcast into it as well.

She explained, “There’s lots of panic and anxiety around food for those children, to the point at which it leaves them anxious. They can’t spend the night together with friends and do not wish to go to sporting banquets or outside to team food because they worry there’ll soon be nothing for them to eat. It begins to babble on their capacity to function socially”

“Another form of classic hint is the fact that the diet is not a lot of,” she added. It’s really a really repetitive diet where they exhibit an unwillingness to try out anything new, truly anxiety about trying anything new. For a lot of families, they convince themselves this is just that their child is — that they’ve always been picky. But one of the things we see with the years is this innovative shedding of foods from their diet. Therefore while they might have started out with just 20 foods that they were ready to eat, that number can gradually become 1–5. And then 10. And then even less.”

Kim DiRé of Arizona can be a certified professional counselor devoted to somatic-trauma healing.

Her first experience with ARFID was extreme.

“I’ll affectionately call him’French-fry Boy,”’ she told. “After I met, he was 14 years of age. And since the age of 2, he’d eaten nothing but In and Out french fries. He ate two orders for lunch, breakfast, and dinner every day, for 12 decades.”

Because imaginable, French Fry Boy was suffering from a plethora of medical issues by the time he was referred to DiRé.

The adolescent was morbidly obese, at a condition of malnutrition, also fighting together with osteoporosis. His french fry diet also had done him no favors.

“He had been known to me with a cardiologist,” DiRé said. “And he had been desperate” “Truly, it was a great mishap he’d been known to me,” DiRé clarified. “I had been too new to the work of practicing therapy to get any set predispositions surrounding how to work with anybody. I’d to think beyond the box. And at exactly the exact same time just so happened to be getting my certificate in trauma recovery”

What Can Cause ARFID?

Rather, it’s frequently trauma-based, leading in some episode, in the beginning, this convinces these children eating the foods they’re terrified of could kill them. It could possibly be a choking episode.

It really is a sensory illness, where in fact the concern with even having foods deemed”dangerous” in their mouth might be ineffective.

“These children, and adults, suffering from ARFID genuinely believe should they eat those foods they will perish,” DiRé clarified.

How to treat the disorder

Despite the extremes, ARFID can be a curable condition, provided that you are dealing with a person who is proficient in the best treatment options.

“you actually should work with someone who works with tissue,”” DiRé clarified. Fixing ARFID requires understanding injury to tissue.”

“Beyond that,” she stated, “if it’s treated as food vulnerability, where you attempt to induce certain foods during steps, it is possible to actually activate and boost the outward symptoms much more. That is like putting the kids before the firing squad. I’ve learned of practitioners trying that, even though their intentions are great, they don’t really understand ARFID enough. What works for either anorexia or bulimia or binge eating won’t work for this”

“That said, it’s such a treatable illness,” DiRé went on. “In my clinic, I typically observe these patients around once a week for a couple of years. From then on, forget about ARFID. That is especially valid with teenagers, who seem to be the most motivated to have ARFID. It affects their social lives and they’re desperate to have it over which is the contrary to what we see with other eating disorders, where adolescents are often the most resistant to treatment.”

One teenager’s story

Rachael out of Pennsylvania was some of those adolescents.

She was a sophomore in high school before she heard about ARFID and realized that’s exactly what she was struggling with since at least as early as age 7.

“She did not request a way which has been judgmental or inappropriate, and that’s the way it’d been brought up before (people seeing my size and automatically assuming that I had anorexia). I informed me I didn’t — I’d never had problems with body image, so I had had no reason to guess my food issues were anything other than the usual shortage of interest. But a few weeks later, I Googled it and that I knew immediately. The DSM criteria have been a specific reflection of my life. It brought me into tears. Finding out it was not my fault, that it was not something that I did to myself, was the most empowering feeling ”

When she had the diagnosis at hand, however, it took four years for her to get a professional willing to listen to her.

“ARFID remains relatively unknown, including to numerous health providers,” said Rachael, whose last name has been withheld for privacy reasons. “Since nobody knew exactly what I was talking about when I brought it up, I did not have access to treatment — or to folks have been even remotely knowledgeable about the identification.” “I slowly got worse, my set of’safe foods’ got smaller and bigger. I started to undergo physical symptoms (nausea, nausea, losing feeling in my fingers and feet, extreme temperature sensitivities, along with other random pains) because of being malnourished. And for a while, I quit seeking treatment.

Nobody knew what it was, so I figured I would only have to live like this. This has been a terrifying reality. My biggest fear was that I would awaken and all my staying foods could unexpectedly be disgusting to me personally. I was so afraid that finally, there might be nothing left.”

Rachael, though, didn’t have to find that reality come into fruition.

In college, she managed to finally get a diagnosis and last September she started inpatient treatment. “little by little, I’m gaining weight (about 15 pounds since starting treatment) and enlarging my diet. It’s slow, but I am becoming convinced and feeling a lot better than I thought possible.”

Tips for parents

As someone who is there, done that, Rachael has advice for parents that might suspect their child is fighting with ARFID.

“Don’t guilt or shame your kid trying new food,” she said. “Try and avoid pointing out the way they are missing out or sad and frustrating it’s that they can not eat what everyone else is eating. They may already feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable, and guilty” Castle needed information about her very own for parents at this particular position.

“There’s a lot of anxiety that goes along with this,” she said. “And plenty of that time period, this piece becomes overlooked. Then it just gets bigger and more complex. The anxiety around food can be pretty painful in case it doesn’t get addressed.”

“As a parent, familiarize yourself with a few of the resources that are outside there is huge,” she added. “I really do believe that parents know when something is wrong, however, it can sometimes be tough to obtain a practitioner that could listen. Thus familiarize yourself with all the diagnostic criteria, and do not stop trying .”

All these years after, He is thankful his mommy did just that.

In 13 years of age, he told, “that I was really little when I moved to each one the therapies, also I really don’t remember them nicely. I can’t imagine merely eating pancakes. I am happy I try so many other foods today because they are really excellent “

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sleepinglionhearts · 7 years

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Hello, I hope you're having a great day! Sorry to ask but do you have any headcanons regarding your collection of Kanas? They're all so interesting! (Also your art is lovely!)

Don’t be sorry to ask! It’s actually kinda nice that someone is asking me about Kana content. And thank you for complimenting my art alhfkahfjafhkjh

I will talk about the Kanas as if they are all in the Revelation path (in which they can interact with everyone) because I think it’s more fun that way

We’ll start with Izana!Kana

-one of my friends thinks it’s troublesome to keep calling him Izana!Kana so she just calls him “Kazana” and I think it’s cute

-when transformed into a dragon, he is fairly small. No one is sure why. Instead of being of a decent dragon size like his mother, he’s more like the size of a rather large dog. popular theories include he may yet grow into a larger dragon, he is small as a human so he is small as a dragon, and maybe he’s small and a little odd looking because of whatever odd dragon genetics Izana may have contributed.

-unlike the other children who usually get kinda excited when the opportunity to go swimming in a lake or whatever presents itself, he avoids the water. Says he starts to hear a strange voice and his head hurts. Azura in particular is concerned over this, though when she asks him to tell her about it, he becomes even more prickly than usual over the subject and avoids her too

-he likes Midori. Midori likes him… because he’s a dragon and fun to experiment on.

-aims to surpass his father in looks– or at least, that’s his excuse for putting on makeup and dressing up. He just finds it all aesthetically pleasing.

-surprisingly enough, avoids Forrest (thinks he’s tacky)

-Gets taken out of his deeprealm early bc “really, is there anywhere safer than Izumo?? it’s neutral, no one’s gonna hurt him” but then escapes to his deeprealm anyway bc he’s like 9 and wanted to be taken seriously so he has to grow (it didn’t really work out)

-gave up on trying to control his hair and accepts it for its faults (besides, having lil hair antennas makes him taller… sort of….)

-absolutely adores the colour pink

-is sometimes subject to terrible nightmares

-wanders off on his own a lot

-will always be kind of short

-tried to pick a fight with Orochi once, realized that was a bad idea fast

-very proficient little mage, but certain tomes/scrolls/spirits need to be kept away from him bc he will cause damage

-the sort of kid to transform in the middle of dinner, refuse to transform back, and then lay on the table and roll around in spite of being told to cut that out already

-gets grounded for a month and half bc he decided to fuck with the messengers and nearly brought Izumo directly into the war

-but really he’s just moody. sorta like a cat. he’ll occasionally go up to someone he likes and curl up near or on them and go to sleep or just. stay there bc he wants company.

Now for Niles!Kana

-as opposed to the other Kanas, he’s more around 15-16.

-loud boy

-got his ears pierced courtesy of Soleil

-AWFUL DIETARY HABITS courtesy of Velouria

-why did these two things happen? parents asked Nina to babysit him and she left them with whoever was closest and not busy to do other more important things

-his consumption of odd/rotting things is not limited to dragon form as it was discovered when he was found raiding the pantry for spoiled/rotting foods (Jakob and Felicia still aren’t sure how they feel about this. On the one hand, this kid is useful in that he’ll eat this stuff…. on the other, that’s Corrin’s kid and what if something bad happens??)

-can be bribed with candy

-can be overly friendly at times and has a little bit of trouble with the concept of personal space

-gets along just fine with Nina, but if they’re getting along especially well, be suspicious. they’re plotting something.

-has a few crushes but he won’t tell anyone who they are

-likes his cloak/cape thing because he can wrap up in it

-Keaton doesn’t allow him anywhere near his collection after an incident in which Kana nearly ate half of it

-used to be really clingy when he was younger

-has a tendency to be really blunt sometimes but usually doesn’t realize what he’s said until after he’s said it

-the only cooking he actively avoids is Reina’s. No one is sure what she does, but if Kana won’t eat it…. it can’t be safe.

-walks with really heavy steps because otherwise he is too quiet when approaching and scares people

-gets really bad seasonal allergies

-very good at tracking things

-prefers to fight as a dragon

…and now Takumi!Kana (even though I haven’t really posted anything with him)

-youngest Kana, around 6-7. Pure, sweet bab

-absolutely adores his big brother Kiragi

-extremely good with small animals (sometimes follows Shigure around)

-very shy and clings to his Mama a lot

-wants to grow his hair out long someday like his Papa

-is a little scared of Ryoma

-likes flying on pegasi and kinshi but doesn’t want one of his own

-calls a lot of the women older than him “Auntie” even if they are not related

-asked Azura to make him a little necklace for his dragonstone bc he was afraid he’d lose it somewhere

-only one of the Kanas to not have hair that sticks up like little antenna (which will change when he gets older and his hair more out of his control)

-self-conscious about his ears

-a bit of a picky eater

-really needs to be developed more bc he is super adorable

Annnnnnd to end the post, lame doodles of the Kanas as adults.

Thank you for asking about my Kanas!

#long post #reply #anon #fire emblem #doodles #nonsense #fe art tag #my art #Kana #i haven't drawn anything kana related bc i am so bogged down by school work #that'll change soon #my semester ends in two or so weeks yaaaaaay #i hope all of this satisfies your curiosity somewhat #aaaaaaa #Anonymous

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dualitysdownfall · 7 years

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Problem: I’m sensitive and needy, and no one likes people like that, and it makes me get sad and think about my whole future and life

I can’t stand being yelled at or bossed around.

I constantly feel incompetent and worry that I am doing something, or failing to do something, that may result in another person’s dissatisfaction.

SOCIAL ANXIETY. Please, for the love of God, don’t make me ask the employee for help, or whatever.

Unable to put words to my thoughts and feelings, especially in face-to-face conversation. I would much rather type or write.

Picky eater. I despise the fact that I can’t just go to any food place and be satisfied with whatever’s on the menu. I’m well aware it’s a major inconvenience when I’m in social situations centered around eating. And I’m sure everyone who saw me fill my plate is thinking “Why doesn’t she get more? Why does she only have like two different types of food??” But I guess I’d rather do that than to eat something I don’t like.

I need routine and to know that what needs to happen will happen.

I’m easily scared, and people like to laugh at it. I’m scared of a lot of things, actually, and highly highly doubt I can get over it.

I want people to support me and have my back in whatever I do.

But I also don’t want to be told I’m wrong when I’m talking negatively about myself, even if what I’m saying is an exaggeration.

In fact, I hate being wrong at all. I’ll accept it if it’s something like a scientific fact that I wasn’t previously aware of, but that doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it.

I’m easily angered, especially by people who are ignorant or rude or by people who refuse to listen to me and respect my wishes.

I may hate a lot of these limiting traits of myself, but I’m stubborn in my belief that I can’t change them, or that they wouldn’t change even if I tried to.

I can’t stand being made fun of. Thankfully it doesn’t happen often, usually it’s at home with my family. (Actually that might be bad too.)But I hate when negative or unpleasant aspects of myself are brought into the light for the sole purpose of others’ amusement. I take a lot of offense from it even if that wasn’t the person’s intent.

I take a lot of things personally, even if (maybe especially if) they aren’t aimed directly at me. Opinions or comments of distaste, teasing, dissatisfaction, etc about things I love (games, shows, music, people, etc) are like a punch in the gut to me and I will not hesitate to jump to the defense of the thing I like, as well as get mad at you.

There are posts all over the place expressing impatience and exasperation at certain characteristics of “annoying” people. Some of those traits are things I relate to. So the fact that you don’t like it really stings. I could speak up and say “hey, I’m someone like that and I don’t think this is very nice to say,” but that puts me at risk of being ridiculed, and like I said, I’m super sensitive and take everything personally.

I also take everything literally. Unless you’re clear in your tone that you are being sarcastic for the sake of humor, I might see a comment that’s asking a question or pointing something out and think someone actually needs clarification, to which I will, being the kind and knowledgeable person I am and knowing the feeling of being hopelessly confused, explain it to the person only to be met with garbage like, “DUh, everyone knows that, I was being sarcastic, are you stupid??????”

Sometimes I’ll just want to do something a really specific way and even if there’s an easier way, it’s best to just leave me doing it the way I know works accurately and effectively. I might even be aware of the easier options but refuse them anyway because … well, actually, I don’t know why, but just leave me doing it the way I want. It’ll work out. I promise.

Just in general I’m very particular in my ways and refuse to change them regardless of the inconveniences.

I’m terrible at remembering things that fall under the categories of “what I need to do” and “how I need to do it”. You’ll have to write out a list of tasks and steps that I can refer back to, as well as include either pictures or a hands-on demonstration.

I hope you don’t mind the grammar police, because I embody like all of them.

I also hope you don’t mind dictionaries and long explanations that you probably don’t care about.

also spontaneous singing. In an ideal world, I can sing whatever I want, whenever I want, however loudly I feel like it and in any location at all.

I’m afraid of death and loss. Never talk to me about potential disaster (I’m deathly afraid), and don’t remind me that you “aren’t always gonna be there.” Trust me, my anxiety is damn well aware of that. Talking about it is just gonna make me cry.

If you suggest something to me that I should do that involves going somewhere and/or making an appointment, you might as well just set it up yourself and drive me there, ‘cause otherwise, no matter how much I want to do it, I’ll never do anything about it.

Speaking of driving, even though I am, by age, legally allowed to start learning, I absolutely do not trust myself in the slightest with motor vehicles. Like I said, I’m bad at remembering long sets of rules and how to do things, and I’m utterly terrified of death because I don’t know what happens after that and no matter how sure religious people are that I’ll be okay, I have to see it to believe it, and I can’t see it unless I die, and no way am I leaving that up to chance. Also one time I got to drive my own go kart at the amusement park and I accidentally accelerated when I meant to brake, and that kinda screwed up any chance of me thinking I can handle being in control of any sort of vehicle ever again probably. So if you end up being my partner, friend, roommate, etc in the future, I hope you’re okay with driving me everywhere. TV taught me that people will do that. Please don’t prove me wrong.

As you can see by this extensive–and extensively self-negative–list, I’M EXTREMELY INCONVENIENT AS A HUMAN BEING. It’s awful and terrible and I hate it but I’m also still alive so at least it works. I’d love to be more wiling to, like, try some things. Like doing flips off a diving board, or food that’s something other than American, Americanized, or snack foods. But that’s too dangerous in my mind, and my mind is extremely set in its ways.

See, the thing is though, no one’s gonna be willing to deal with all that. They’d have to memorize routines and lists, remember to tell me what to do and how to do it, know what foods I like and don’t like and what physical activities I’m willing to do that aren’t too scary. They’d have to order the food every time we go out to eat, they’d have to ask people to help me, they’d have to drive me everywhere, they’d have to remind me of things and be n time and do stuff for me. I’m like the opposite of a convenience store: I’m not very convenient and I don’t have much to offer in return. Also, I’m not on every street corner. (I’m an anxious introvert.)

Who on earth would be willing to put up with all that and still appreciate things like my art, my music, my opinions, my jokes, my intelligence, my whatever-I-have-that-might-make-someone-fall-in-love?

As far as I can tell, no one.

I’d love to be in a romantic relationship one day. When I imagine myself as an adult, I see a cozy home with a spouse who loves me and helps me and understands and lets me hug them for a lot longer than they were anticipating because I forgot to mention I really love hugging and hand holding and snuggling and whatnot.

I don’t like thinking I might never find someone like that. I know I have plenty of traits that are less than desirable, which can and will become major sources of inconvenience and irritation in a future adult life. But I’d like to believe that someone can still look past all that, see my true intentions and hopes, and love me anyway.

I don’t like thinking about my future. I don’t. There’s nothing about it that I know. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, or what to study in college or what college to go to. In all likelihood, during and after college I’ll be living with my parents long after my little sister leaves home and gets married or something, and I’ll work a boring, bland, low-paying job to save up for the point in my life where I do know what I want to be and do. I’ll have plenty of creative hobbies, mostly internet-based, and maybe some of them will snag me some bonus money here and there if I’m lucky (the internet is pretty amazing that way, after all). But I’ll still wish for bigger and better things, and also a datefriend, because I feel like I won’t have a datefriend at that time.

I guess that’s not so bad… but the ideas of being single and of not having an enjoyable and fulfilling job, just don’t really appeal to me. I don’t want to just be another one of those normal people rolling out of bed for a boring job and then coming home and doing nothing with their life. I wanna make change in people’s lives, especially in young lives, queer lives, and the lives of weirdos like me who get attached to fictional characters because they either represent me and my life experiences or act as a second home when reality is being crappy. And I don’t see myself making those changes from a basement, or attic, or side bedroom, or at a boring, unfulfilling job even if it’s steadier than an art-based job (which still screws me up because if it weren’t for that I’d know exactly what top three things to study in college).

It really does get me down sometimes, thinking about that dreary life.

But wait.

Is it really so sad? Must I be so negative and pessimistic??

Sometimes ranting is really all one needs to solve one’s own problems. It allows you to think hard about what you’re feeling and why you’re afraid, so that you can put it into words. But in that hard thought, you can find a solution.

Go up a couple of paragraphs and I mention not only working a bland, boring job but also “having plenty of creative hobbies, mostly internet-based, and maybe some of them will snag me some bonus money here and there”.

What if all the great, inspiring, creative, change-bringing things don’t manifest themselves in my day-to-day, for-money job, but in my hobbies taking place at home afterwards?

That could work. Part-time/half-day job of some sort that I don’t mind doing, then come home and do fun things that other people enjoy seeing? I love the internet…

And hey, not only do I have a head start in that case, but it could eventually be the gateway to all that other stuff I was worried about, like a datemate and a more interesting, better-paying job.

Thanks for the talk, internet!

#rant #melancholy-starlight rants #life #school #anxiety #college #fears #future #thinking about my future #thinking about my life #School Sucks And I Am Not Afraid To Spend Five Hours Explaining Why I Hate It

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nancygduarteus · 5 years

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How to Stop Hating Your Least Favorite Food

Cucumbers are my nemesis. I want to fight every food in the melon family and many melon-adjacent foods, but melons avoid my primary disdain because they usually take their rightful place as easily avoidable fruit-salad filler. Cucumbers, though. Cucumbers. They hide in all kinds of things that otherwise seem safe to put in my mouth: sushi rolls, salads, sandwiches, the takeout “lunch bowls” that restaurants near my office sell for $14.

As far as I can remember, I’ve never liked cucumbers, mostly because they taste bad. If they’re present, they’re the first thing I notice, and it’s like someone has sprayed a middle schooler’s eau de toilette from 2002 on my food. Most other people appear to live on slightly different planes of cucumber reality from mine, which I’ve learned over several decades of watching people somehow eat them voluntarily.

My cuke avoidance is what’s known as a food aversion, and although aversions are widespread in the United States, hating a food that others love is socially coded as fussy or unsophisticated. People with many or severe aversions often experience isolating anxiety or social opprobrium. For people like me, it’s more commonly just a nuisance that might inspire an occasional eye roll.

[Read: The girl who wouldn’t drink water]

Still, my distaste for such an innocuous food feels vaguely shameful, and after much deliberation, I’m ready to switch sides. I’m ready to make myself like cucumbers. Getting there is unlikely to make any huge improvement in my life, but at the very least, I’d like to reroute my energy to a more interesting source of shame. And the good news, according to researchers, is that most people can reset their neural pathways to one day enjoy—or at least tolerate—a nice gazpacho.

Before you can solve a problem, you have to understand what it is: Why is it cucumbers for me, and broccoli or oysters for some other people? There’s no neat explanation, according to Paul Rozin, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania. “The great majority of people have a fair number of things they don’t like,” he says. There is evidence of genetic differences that make some people more sensitive to certain chemicals in food, but those people might actually prefer the taste of those chemicals. “Sensitivity doesn’t necessarily mean a person will be averse to something,” Rozin explains.

There is one type of aversion that scientists understand pretty well, though, according to Anthony Sclafani, a professor at Brooklyn College who studies the neurobiology of taste: If you eat a novel food and then experience nausea or vomiting, your brain is primed to blame that food. That’s true even if you know, on an intellectual level, that the food isn’t at fault. “We get sick to our stomach and automatically develop an aversion. It’s just hardwired,” Sclafani says. Because of this, people with cancer are often advised to “scapegoat” particular foods during chemotherapy: To avoid creating an association between the treatment’s nauseous side effects and a patient’s normal diet over time, the brain can be steered toward assigning those effects to novel foods instead.

I’ve never had a traumatic barf experience with cucumbers, so my aversion is probably just an innate dislike. And the culprit behind my long-term cuke hatred might be in the vegetable’s smell, more specifically than its taste. “What we call ‘taste’ is really ‘flavor,’ which is a mixture of taste, smell, and texture,” Sclafani says. People lose olfactory sensitivity as they age, which is a big reason that many people seem to grow out of childhood aversions: A food that might have been overwhelming to a kid will read as more mellow to an adult. I’m in my 30s, so there’s a decent chance that, were I to give cucumbers a fair shake, I’d hate them a lot less than my childhood memories have led me to believe.

Childhood can be key to later-in-life food preferences in a lot of ways. Before a baby is even born, what a mother eats can influence what her infant will like because diet affects amniotic fluid, and that influence continues in the months after birth through lactation. “If an Italian mother eats a lot of garlic, the milk has a garlic flavor to it,” says Sclafani. “Her infant will be more accepting of garlic than the infant of a mother who doesn’t eat garlic.” For mothers who don’t breastfeed, varying an infant’s formula flavor can help avoid later pickiness.

[Read: Inside the mind of a picky eater]

The tie between early life and food preference goes beyond issues of exposure, says Ellyn Satter, a dietitian and therapist who studies and treats picky eating in both children and adults. In childhood, people acquire many of their emotional difficulties with eating, so understanding that emotional tie is key to both overcoming aversions and raising children with positive relationships to food. “In our culture, it’s all about what you ‘should’ be eating, not about how you feel about it or your enjoyment of food,” says Satter. “Children are coerced to eat certain amounts of certain types of food, which turns them off to those foods.”

Instead, she says, parents should be patient with their kids and let them come to new foods naturally. “Picky kids will desensitize themselves, and they do that by seeing [a food] on the table and watching their parents eating and enjoying.”

With adults, the process is pretty similar, according to all the experts I spoke with. Food aversions can generally be overcome with gentle, steady exposure, which can start with something as simple as buying the offending food and allowing it to be in the house. Satter says that adults should also feel free to do something kids do instinctually: Put a food in their mouth and then take it out, without forcing themselves to swallow. That allows a person to grow accustomed to a taste or texture without necessarily associating it with a negative physical reaction, since swallowing something you don’t enjoy can be difficult and unpleasant.

I should probably just go buy a cucumber instead of bothering experts and writing a thousand words about it. I even have some spicy hummus in my fridge, and from what I’ve gleaned based on how other people eat cucumbers, they might pair well together. A journey of a thousand Israeli salads begins with a single step.

That said, people with food aversions like mine often feel worse about them than is necessary, and even extremely picky eaters are unlikely to be doing themselves any physical harm. “Often there’s nutritional concern where there shouldn’t be,” says Rozin. “The only time they get in trouble is if they’re in someone’s house, where it’s considered sort of rude just not to like things.”

Satter agrees that I might be better off if I just forgave myself for disliking certain things instead of trying to push through them. “If people can unhook themselves from the ‘shoulds’ and instead think about eating foods they enjoy, our research has shown that in the long run, they’re healthier,” she says.

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/02/how-to-like-food-you-hate/582985/?utm_source=feed

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