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siennafrxst · 10 months

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↳ fate 𖤐𓈒࣪₊˚

pairing: barney stinson x female reader

universe: how I met your mother (HIMYM)

word count: 1.1k words

cw: cringe 😍

click here to read the sequel.

As Barney swirls the whiskey in his glass, he scans the room to hunt for his next unsuspecting prey. In other words, the next woman he was gonna gaslight into having sex with. (💀)

Then, his eyes land on someone across the bar, sitting all alone by herself. Intrigued, he slowly approaches her while coming up with another one of his inane backstories to entice his victim as per usual.

But then, to his surprise, she turns to face him. “Hey, you need to try this.”

Slightly taken aback, Barney stares blankly at the drink in her hands, not expecting her to be the one to initiate conversation. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

She lightheartedly frowns at his response. “No, I just want you to take a little sip. And no, I promise I didn’t drug it either. Here.” She takes a sip from her glass as proof, as though reading his inner thoughts.

Convinced yet still slightly bewildered, he shrugs. “Alright, fine; gimme.”

She hands him over the drink as he sets his down before promptly taking a sip, his eyes widening at the unfamiliar taste.

“Woah, that’s-“

“I know, right?”

He smiles softly at the grin on her face, seeming to lighten up his mood. “I’m Barney, by the way.” He reaches out a polite hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.” She takes his hand in hers and shakes it.

“It’s my pleasure. So, what’s a pretty lady like you sitting all alone in a bar?“

“And if I told you that I was waiting for someone?”

Barney lets out a scoff. “Then you wouldn’t have been wearing that frown on your face earlier.”

Y/N shrugs, knowing that he wasn’t wrong. “Fair enough. You want the honest, boring answer?”

He nods. “Try me.”

“I’m here to blow off some steam. I’ve been trying to find a job for weeks now. Can’t even nail a decent interview.” She chuckles softly, shaking her head to herself. “And what about you? Tall, blond guy in a brooding suit. What’s your reason?”

Barney sighs. “Do you want the honest, not-so-boring answer?”

“Try me.”

He slowly leans in closer, as though he was about to share an important secret. “I was sent as a spy from the future to warn about the upcoming rapture one thousand years from now. And the only way to save the world is-“

“Let me guess, to have sex with you?” she cuts him off, clearly not amused.

Barney blinks his eyes innocently, surprised at her sudden question. “What? Pssh, no,” he says, seemingly appalled. “Do you want to?”

Y/N rolls her eyes at the desperate man. “Okay, I see, so the reason why you’re here is to hit on dumb blondes and gaslight them into having sex with you by using one of your inane backstories?”

“And it seems as though you’re not one of them.”

They smile at each other, both cockily in a way that was playful yet enticing.

“I’m curious, though… does that actually work?”

“Oh hell yeah, and that’s not even one of the craziest ones I’ve used.”

Her eyes widen slightly, now intrigued. “Really?”

Barney nods. “I could tell you more, but we may have to be here for hours.”

Y/N turns around to check the clock on a nearby wall before promptly facing him once more. “I got some time to spare.”

Barney smiles, satisfied with her answer. “That’s what I like to hear.”

He sits on the chair beside hers as he proceeds to tell her more about his desperate ploys.

To them, their conversation had only lasted for a few minutes, but the next thing they knew, the bar was already closing and they had to be personally kicked out by the bar owner for overstaying their welcome.

The two decided to walk around the city late at night, lights flickering past as the moon shone high above, seeming to follow them in their journey.

“Wait, what time is it?”

Barney checks the watch on his wrist, suddenly putting a halt to his movements in surprise. “Woah. It’s almost 2AM.”

She stops to stand beside him, her eyes widening. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, we just spent like 4 hours talking to each other.”

“Huh.”

“Huh indeed.”

They both take a moment to stare at one another, the silence oddly comforting. When they were together, it was as if nobody else mattered. No one else was sharing the moments they had except for the two.

Y/N purses her lips before speaking up, finally breaking the silence. “Well then, I have to confess something before this night ends.”

He hums, signaling for her to continue.

“I don’t usually let some guy even go near me whenever I’m at a bar, sitting alone grumpily.”

He chuckles lightly.

“But… I actually enjoyed our little date that isn’t a date.”

He smiles, taking a subtle step closer towards her. “Well, I think every date that isn’t a date should end with a good night kiss.”

He leans in to connect their lips, but to his surprise, she leans away.

“Tell me, Barney, do you believe in fate?”

Barney — clearly disappointed — frowns at her sudden interruption. “No, not really.”

She simply smiles at his disgruntled expressions. “Well, I do, and if we’re meant to be, then we’ll see each other again.”

“So am I not getting my good night kiss or…?”

She chuckles at his little pout. “Look, if we ever cross paths again, then you can give it to me. No questions asked.”

“Why can’t I just give it to you now? I promise I’m a great kisser. I got like a hundred different girls who can attest to th-“

She puts a finger over his lips, shutting him up in an instant.

“Be patient. I promise, next time, I won’t make you wait one more second.”

“If there even will be a next time.”

Y/N frowns at him as she removes the finger on his lips, earning an eye roll from him.

“Fine, if you want to play hard to get, then so be it.”

She smiles. “Good.”

“At least let me walk you home. Where’d you say it was you lived again?”

She gives him a knowing look. “Haha, nice try,” she says in a sarcastic tone.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying. But seriously, you sure you’ll be okay? It’s pretty late, and New York is filled with all kinds of creeps.”

Y/N smiles at his worried expressions. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I don’t live that far from here.”

Barney’s eyes light up, pointing a finger at her. “Aha! So you do live somewhere in this area.”

“I could also be messing with you.”

He rolls his eyes at her once more as she giggles at him.

“Good night, Barney.”

He returns the smile on her face. “Good night, Y/N.”

this isn’t one of my best but I haven’t been posting in a while so… yeah. thanks for reading. x

click here to read the sequel.

likes and reblogs are vv appreciated.

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fannyspammy · 1 year

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Masterlist!

🍯 Fluff

🌶 18+

🫧 Reader favourite!

🐚 New!

Jack Thompson x Reader

Distraction 🌶

Night Shift 🌶

Barney Stinson x Reader

Fixing the Yips 🌶

Adam Warlock x Reader

Firsts Series

Butterflies 🍯🫧 [the first time he told you he had feelings for you]

Kiss Me, You Idiot 🍯 [y/n is Adam’s first kiss]

Tell Me More 🌶🫧 [Adam is aroused for the first time]

Like a Gold Statue 🌶 [y/n helps Adam unwind for the first time]

We’re Okay 🍯 [Adam & y/n disagree for the first time]

Indestructable 🍯🐚 [Adam tells y/n he loves her for the first time]

coming soon… 🌶

Minho (TMR) x Reader

Firsts with Minho

Tease 🍯 [the first time Minho admits he’s attracted to y/n]

Third Row Back 🌶

Loki x Reader

coming soon…

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livingjoke · 5 months

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Thinking about post-finale Barney x Robin while listening to "Same Old Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg

She said she'd married her an architect Who kept her warm and safe and dry She would've liked to say she loved the man But she didn't like to lie

#this song is so them coded #barney stinson #robin scherbatsky #barney x robin #swarkles #ted mosby #how i met your mother #himym #I might write a fic like this #will keep you posted

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vayalda · 7 months

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With all universes aligned

Brienne has the once-in-a-lifetime chance to study how the multiverses that were previously proven existed are connected to each other. What if she finds out that soulmates could be the deciding factor? And what if she notices a certain Jaime Lannister appearing in every single alternative reality that she visits?

Pairing: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth

Link AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50723341

#braime #jaime x brienne #brienne x jaime #fanfic #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #barney stinson #HIMYM Fix-It #fic #au #soulmates

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aliakim-the-okay · 6 months

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New crack fic idea:

(Barney from HIMYM and Dennis from Always Sunny meet each other for the first time in Paddy’s Pub (where Barney shows up after being separated from Ted during their eventful trip to Philly.))

There, he witnesses Dennis Reynolds hitting on a generic blonde hottie and just has to intervene. Dennis’s moves are wayyyy too underdeveloped and frankly archaic. He needs something more legend- (wait for it) -dary to be able to pick up the gorgeous and elusive species known as “women.”

Dennis gawks in offense as he watches Barney woo the blondie with his suave expertise.

As Barney walks the total baddie away, he throws a cheeky wink in Dennis’s direction as the newfound couple make their way towards the door.

Filled with rage, Dennis approaches dangerously and shoves Barney hard. Barney turns around in shock, disgusted that his designer suit had been touched by one of those filthy Phillidelphians.

Dennis makes a loud ruckus in the bar. He shouts far too loud about how that girl was his for the night and that he almost had her. All the while Dee continued cleaning a glass over and over again in the corner, pretending not to hear as Dennis continued his adult tantrum.

Barney shooed the broad away as he straightened out his suit. He slung an arm over Dennis’s shoulder as waved his hand towards the sky. He said that if Dennis really needed help picking up hot chicks that badly, Barney was there to teach Dennis how to live.

Dennis slapped Barney’s hands away from him in disgust. Dennis claimed he knew very well how to live and that he could pick up any girl he wanted. He didn’t need some rando asshole in a fancy suit to teach him anything.

Barney smiled…

This called for a competition.

A competition to see who was the suavest, hottest, and downright godliest of bachelors in this particular corner of Philly.

The objective? The first to go home (or at least out the front door) with a Philadelphian woman would be crowned the winner.

The trophy? Forever bragging rights along with the metaphorical crown of badassitude.

Oh man, are the others gonna love this… They thought at the same time.

As the clock struck 8:30pm, the poor excuse for a rush hour hit the bar. Ones (singular) of people all came in, all entering the bar in a matter of several minutes. All while Barney and Dennis stared each other down with a fire of competition in their eyes.

Suddenly, at the same time, the two nodded before scrambling away to opposite sides of the bar.

Dennis ran to the nearest woman he could find, grabbed her by the shoulders, and spun her around to look at her face. He winced and made a sound before moving on.

Barney slid against the weirdly wet floor and into the view of another woman on the other side of the room. He faltered at her below average looks before taking note of her huge badonkers and promptly smiling.

Barney asked how she was doing, where she grew up, what her relationship with her dad is like, and other non-intrusive questions.

Meanwhile Dennis slicked his over-greased hair back. He acted cool in front of a woman who looked just hot enough for him. She happily rattled on about her day as Dennis grew impatient. He rolled his eyes and checked his watch as he took glances at Barney’s progress. He couldn’t lose this.

As Barney could practically feel the sexual attraction radiating off the woman in front of him, he couldn’t help but notice his competition across the bar.

Dennis’s target woman was ranting all too loudly about her secret. She entered with a fake ID (that no one checked anyways) and was actually 16. Dennis’s hand slowly reached for her shoulder as he admitted that it was close enough for him and they should go back to his place for some… “video games.”

Barney’s head snapped towards Dennis in shock. He silently told Ms. Huge Badonkers to wait a minute as he quickly approached Dennis and wound up. Dennis turned with a shitty grin just in time to be decked directly in the face.

Dennis slid across the dirty floor as he held his bloody nose. He whined and grunted on the floor like a little baby. Suddenly, Dee “accidentally” spilled a drink on his face with a triumphant smile before walking away.

Barney shook his hand before grabbing a napkin to wipe his bloody knuckles. He readjusted his suit and approached the teenager. He shook his head disapprovingly and pointed a thumb towards the door. She hung her head sadly and left the bar.

Barney gave one last look at the pitiful man on the floor. He scoffed to himself before putting his arm around the huge-boobed lady’s waist and exited the bar.

Mac and Charlie rushed to Dennis’s side and helped him up. Mac yelled at Barney that he’ll pay for what he did to his bro, but Barney simply said that if Dennis was their bro, Mac and Charlie needed a better one.

After Barney was done making insane love to this big-boobied beast, he’d have to tell Ted all about tonight and it was absolutely legend- (wait for it…)

-dary!

#this is written badly on purpose #I promise I’m a good writer #himym #how i met your mother #always sunny #always sunny in philadelphia #barney stinson #dennis reynolds #crack fic #fanfic

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kiwiana-writes · 6 months

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Fake fic title - Challenge Accepted

Title: Challenge Accepted

Summary: Alex narrows his eyes, shoving the rag he's holding in the back pocket of his jeans. If Fox thinks his sad little soc vibes give him a chance in hell of beating Alex in a drag race, he's got another thing coming.

[Fake Fic Ask Game]

#ask meme response #fake fic ask game #anonymous #this one was made infinitely more difficult by the fact that all I could hear was barney stinson lol #would a how i met your mother au work? no #did I think about it anyway? yes #anyway don't ask me how we got from there to grease-esque car racing #because I truly do not know

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runningquill-art · 1 year

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Dramione, 8th year. He is teaching her Occlumency in the Forbidden Forest, under an enchanted wisteria, protected from the winter chill by a warming charm. This is a scene from @mrsyoflam's WIP story, that I did as part of a trade with her! And let me tell you that there is an Inception level of collaboration in this project: I (a fanartist) am illustrating a scene from Mrsyoflam's (a fic writer) WIP, Mrsyoflam who is also - hold on to your hats - an amazing fic binder, and is providing in exchange for said illustration a handbound copy of Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing illustrated with - wait for it, just wait for it (Barney Stinson voice) - my fanarts! Gotta love this fandom :')

[IG @runningquill_art]

#dramione #Draco Malfoy #Hermione Granger #draco x hermione #dhr #dmhg #fanart #fanfiction #Harry Potter #my art #Illustration #mrsyoflam

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periprose · 11 months

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will you be writing more bucky?? i really liked therapy!!! :D

aw thank you anon!!

I will be writing more Bucky! I have a few AUs on him. I am kind of busy with life rn so you may not see it for a bit.

I'll be nice and let you know about them lol.

Boxer!Bucky x Ballerina!Reader

College AU, Bucky and Reader have to be roommates because there's no picking your roommates on campus housing (oh no!) will they wont they strangers to lovers, bonding over being athletic stuff, studying together, etc.

HIMYM Bucky Barnes AU

Based off of How I Met Your Mother, Bucky is a total playboy asshole like Barney Stinson. He sleeps around, and doesn't care for real relationships, until he meets the reader (taking on more of a Robin role). The fic is basically him telling their kids all about her. Also featuring Steve as Ted, Natasha as Lilly, and Bruce as Marshall. Also it will end with Bucky and Reader together (justice for robin x barney please!!)

I'm also still continuing my Peter Parker Florence Fic, too, but that one has a sequel in the works because I have too many ideas and I'm not ready to let go yet lol.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #himym #boxer au #ask #anon

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windowsandfeelings · 5 months

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20 Questions Game for fic writers

tagged by @terrainofheartfelt and @slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction (<3 <3 <3!)

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 25! (But I've written a lot more that are scattered across ffn and livejournal. I've been at this a while.)

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 153,671

3. What fandoms do you write for? Eternally Gilmore Girls, lately also Nancy Drew, and not for a while, but perhaps most notably Gossip Girl. (I've written for other fandoms, too, but not recently.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? All the Lights that Light the Way are Blinding (Gossip Girl) November 24, 2016 (Gilmore Girls) Met You at the Right Time (Gilmore Girls) The River in Egypt (Gossip Girl) The Boyfriend Tour of North America (Gilmore Girls)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to, but I'm definitely behind on it at the moment. I so appreciate every comment I get (okay, every nice comment I get), and I want to acknowledge them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmm...I don't really do angsty endings. Maybe I Am Sorry to Tell You? But that's mostly because Lost hadn't actually ended yet when I wrote it so I didn't have a way to get Rory and Jess off the island. But it wasn't really presented as angsty. (I have occasionally considered writing a sequel.)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them? IDK, maybe MYatRT? Just because it takes such a long time to get to it, but I think it's earned.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Occasionally, yes, mostly on All the Lights..., or people commenting on other fics and shitting on All the Lights... in the process.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? I write v v v light smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? lol, I wrote a Barney Stinson/Buffy Summers ficlet once.

I would say I'm not a huge fan of crossovers, but I wrote a bunch of short ones back in my lj days because a couple of my friends had a crossover fic contest...really more like drabbles.

And then of course there's I Am Sorry to Tell You. Because I got really into Lost at one point and had to find a way to combine it with Gilmore Girls. And honestly I think it came out pretty well.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so, but I've definitely seen stolen fics.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yeah! Someone translated All the Lights... into Russian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I can't remember. Maybe back in my ffn days? Nothing is springing to mind.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? LITERATI 4 LYFE

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I'd like to finish Saturn Return someday, but I don't really know where it will go. Which is why it's unfinished.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, probably? I wasn't comfortable writing dialogue for a long time, but especially since taking screenwriting classes a few years ago I feel much more confident in it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle hard with plot. You want me to figure out what's going to actually happen in a story? Ugh!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I would probably only do it in French or maybe very basic Spanish, because that's the extent of not English that I'm confident in.

19. First fandom you ever wrote for? I'm pretty sure the first fic I ever wrote was a continuation of someone else's post-season 1 Gilmore Girls fic that they hadn't finished, but I never published it. (I still have it. It's hand-written...and bad. Because I was 13.) The first one I ever published was a Harry Potter fic on ffn. Also bad. Very unfinished.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? 100,000% Met You at the Right Time. I could not be more proud of that thing if I tried. It was a labor of love, but it also came out exactly the way I wanted to, which is just...nearly impossible to imagine. Like I could quibble with some of the writing, especially in the first couple of chapters, but at the end of the day...it's really good. Which is not a humble statement, but it's true.

tagging: @wonderlandleighleigh @oh-bonerline @strangenewgirls @stellaluna33 @georgianadarcies and anyone else who wants to do it

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limetameta · 5 months

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I cant even post my spotify wrapped because i listened to one (1) song on repeat all of september to stim with as i wrote because the voice of the singer was cool and the beat was hella nice and i was writing batman fics at the time so it seemed fitting to listen to a song that appears in a batman piece of media ya know BUT WHAT THAT HAS CAUSED is that my number 2 most listened to artist is this dude whom if i post would get me imediatelly mocked on instagram. I would Kill myself if word got out that barney stinson is my number 2 most listened to artist all because im the music meister goes HARD AS HELL

#mado #anywayyy

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karmic-vibes · 1 year

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what if i took fics i already wrote years ago for other fandoms, but instead edited and steddie coded them. what then?

for reference, the ones im thinking of switching over are:

first responder steve and patient eddie (this one is wicked sad, so like… you’ve been warned)—song it’s based on: Golden Hour by Kacey Musgraves

drag queen eddie and unsuspecting roommate steve—based on Kinky Boots soundtrack

rockstar eddie and pining stylist steve (this one gets really dark at the end, so also, you’ve been warned)—song based on: Beauty School Drop-Out (grease, obvi)

dad steve and bitter businessman eddie (the roles could switch—haven’t quite figured it out yet)—titled “My Everything”, based on that Barney Stinson quote from himym

BUT lmk if anyone would be interested! and if so, which one(s) would you want to see first? If there are any further questions regarding plot, content/trigger warnings, please DO NOT HESITATE to reach out to me!!!

i figured id do this in the meantime as i power thru some WIPs. i just don’t want to leave y’all high and dry as i write up some new stuff.

ty and ily all 🥺🫶🏻💕

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siennafrxst · 3 months

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🍂 ₊ ⊹ ~ fate (sequel)

pairing: barney stinson x female reader

universe: how I met your mother (HIMYM)

word count: 0.7k words

a/n: this sequel is set in season 5, which is 10 years after the prequel (yes it’s been that long).

dt @sunflowermyheart 🫶🏼

if you haven’t read the prequel, click here to view it.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Ding dong.

The five friends turn to face the sudden disturbance, all with perplexed expressions written across their faces.

“Did someone order pizza?” Ted questions.

Everyone shakes their head as Ted frowns, his eyebrows creasing in befuddlement. After much hesitation, he stands up from the couch and unlocks the door. That was when the mystery person had revealed their presence, causing Ted’s eyes to widen at the sight of someone he thought he’d never see.

“Y/N?” He lets out a light chuckle, a smile forming on his face.

“Hey, Ted.”

———

“Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I was in the city, and I thought, ‘hey, why not go visit my brother?’ I mean, how long has it been since we’ve seen each other in person?”

He nods, the smile on his face only growing in size as they both savoured this moment of reuniting after not having seeing each other for a few, very tiring years.

Ted turns around to spot several pairs of extremely confused eyes glaring upon the two as he snaps himself back to reality.

“Uh, right! Guys, this is Y/N, my sister. Y/N, this is Marshall and Lily — who I’m sure you remember.”

She officially steps into the room to approach the couple as they stand up from the couch with huge grins on their faces.

“Y/N, it’s great to see you again! I haven’t seen you since, like, college,” Marshall says as he wraps her in a hug, Lily following after.

“Yeah, it’s been way too long. Congratulations on the baby, by the way!” She greets as she hugs them back before promptly breaking it.

“Thank you. You know, if you’re sticking around, maybe you can get a chance to meet him?” Lily asks.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The three smile at one another once more before Ted gestures towards Robin.

“Robin, this is my sister Y/N. Y/N, this is-“

“-Robin Scherbatsky! It’s nice to finally meet you,” Y/N greets as she reaches for Robin’s hand.

Robin simply smiles before shaking hers in return. “Yeah, you too.”

“And this is Bar… where’s Barney?”

Everyone scans around the room, searching for their missing friend.

“Well, while you guys look for your mystery friend, uh, could I use your bathroom? The cab ride here lasted longer than I expected.”

Ted nods. “Yeah, ‘course. The bathroom’s just that way.” He points to a door in the near distance.

“Thanks.”

Y/N rushes her way to the direction where Ted pointed towards, spotting the door and reaching for the handle, only for it to be opened by someone else on the other side.

“Ted, you’re toilet’s clogged agai-“

That was when Y/N’s eyes trailed to connect with Barney’s, a sudden moment of déjà vu hit them both where it hurt the most.

Her face instantly drops in realization, everything surrounding them seeming to fade into view, blurring itself out of the picture. Her eyes fixated on the man, who was glaring back at her dumbfounded expressions. “Y/N, you’re…”

Ted eyes the two suspisciously, already able to tell that a secret was silently being shared between his sister and his (second) best friend.

That was when Y/N subtly shakes her head, going unnoticed by everyone else in the room except for the man in front of her.

“…just as gorgeous as I pictured in my head! I knew Ted had a hot sister,” he exclaims in a cheery tone, earning an eye roll from Ted.

“And that’s why, you don’t just come uninvited to my apartment, because sometimes, I got a creepy guy lounging around.”

Y/N frowns at Ted. “Oh, I’m sorry for wanting to come visit my brother every now and then. Especially when the last text he’s sent me was ‘sorry I forgot your gift for Christmas.’”

“That’s my way of saying that I love you very very much.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I’ll be right back.”

Barney and Y/N’s eyes linger on one another for a seemingly forever-lasting moment before he steps out of the way, letting her walk past him and close the door behind them.

As Barney walks over to sit back on the couch, Ted approaches him, his steps suddenly deafening and cold.

“Hey, you better not be trying any moves on my sister or I swear to God I will individually rip every single suit you’ve ever owned.”

Barney rolls his eyes at Ted’s feeble attempt to make a believeable threat. “I won’t.”

Barney turns to face the bathroom door, holding in a heavy sigh from escaping his lips as his stare lingers into the room. “I promise.”

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

A/N: that “I promise” is a callback to when they both promsied that the next time they’d see each other, they’d kiss.

likes and reblogs are vv appreciated.

#himym #how i met your mother #barney stinson #barney stinson fanfiction #barney stinson x female reader #barney stinson oneshot #barney stinson fanfic #barney stinson x reader #barney stinson fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fic #sequel #himym barney

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mppmaraudergirl · 2 years

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Chasing life is the best idea for a fic ever, there’s nothing that I love more than the cliche of a womanizer turning his life because he found the love of his life. Literally is the best thing, I really hope that if you want you’ll continue it because it’s AMAZING AAAAAA

Thanks for your excitement 😊

To be fully transparent, this is a trope that makes me a bit wary. I'm not fond of the media that shows people changing for relationships without having some fundamental shift in the person themselves. The biggest thing that comes to mind is Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother. I felt they wrecked his character by the end.

In addition to wanting to avoid that pitfall, the important part of Jily's canon story is showing them as equals and partners and the fact that Lily only gave James a chance when he deflated his head and showed his real self.

Both of these are top of mind for me as I write Chasing Life!

So while yes, James is arrogant and uninterested in emotional connections with women, I hope to show his growth in a way that doesn't revolve solely around getting into Lily's pants 😉

#in fewer than 10k words #🙃#chasing life

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rxreid · 2 years

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rory’s introduction * ˚ ✦

hey! i’m rory! here on my tumblr account, you can find my writings for various fandoms, which i’ll soon compile into masterlists. i currently reside in the english countryside, and my pronouns are she/her! i enjoy english literature, history, and cinematography. also!! my username is a pun on both my name and spencer reid’s last name - rory + reid = roreid :).

currently watching: criminal minds season 8

most recent fic: riding kai’s clown mask (nsfw)

ongoing event: rory’s christmas event

requests * ˚ ✦

blurb requests: open

fic requests: open

matchup requests: open on nov 1st 2022

my faves * ˚ ✦

blue = i write about

bold = ultimate fave

↠ shows: criminal minds, american horror story, the walking dead, game of thrones, how i met your mother, gossip girl.

↠ movies: american animals, beautiful boy, she’s the man, the fundamentals of caring, 500 days of summer, kingsman.

↠ characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner, derek morgan, kit walker, misty day, peter parker, yelena belova, rosita espinosa, rick grimes, glenn rhee, maggie rhee, robin scherbatsky, barney stinson, nate archibald.

↠ people: evan peters, matthew gray gubler, steven yeun, tom holland, my mutuals!!

↠ songs: the comfort of a laughter track - roar , i know it’s over - the smiths , watching him fade away - mac demarco , everyone adores you (at least i do) - matt maltese.

↠ books: the secret history - donna tartt, all the bright places - jennifer niven.

details about my writings * ˚ ✦

i write for almost every character played by evan peters, including american horror story ones, and excluding smut for tate langdon, kyle spencer, and his other underage characters.

i write for most of the criminal minds team, excluding ones who enter beyond season seven, as i have yet to be introduced to them.

i write for a large percentage of the marvel characters, excluding tony stark, clint barton, and peter quill, and i will not write smut for minors such as peter parker.

i write for a large percentage of the arrowverse characters, but only upon request.

i will not write sexual content depicting minors.

i will not write anything depicting r@pe, abuse, racism, or homophobia towards the reader/other characters. the only occasion in which any of the stated may be depicted is in fictions that centre around law enforcement characters and their attendance at, or job surrounding, a crime scene, such as criminal minds.

if you wish to be added to my general taglist, please send an ask! in the meantime, i will be compiling a google form for this.

[last updated - 02/11/22]

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vayalda · 8 months

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TV-Show Rec – How I Met Your Mother

I know that this is an older show, but I’ve only just come around to binge-watch it and need to rave about it for a minute or two because this has easily become my second-favourite show after Game of Thrones (which will always remain number one because of Braime) and I haven’t been this excited about a show/movie/book in the last two years…

For the first few episodes, I wasn’t even sure I’d like HIMYM because sitcoms aren’t usually my thing and the constant audience laughter annoyed me soooo much. But since I wanted to watch something light and funny during my recovery, I pulled through and eventually managed to blank out the laughter and focus on the story and characters instead. And I’m glad I did for one reason and one reason only: Barney Stinson, who’s 100% awesome and legen – wait for it – dary! LEGENDARY!

Plus, Neil Patrick Harris is a treasure! That man can act and sing and dance and do it all at once and I’m in absolute awe of his talent. He was the heart and soul of the show and carried HYMYM. And did I already mention that this man can sing? There are still so many of his songs I haven’t heard yet, but these are a few gems I simply have to share (in no particular order):

This Tony Awards Opening

His Disney Christmas Parade Opening

The “Dream On” performance from Glee

His Broadway Musical Riff-Off against James Corden, which includes snippets of his musicals “Company” and “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”

“The Origin of Love”, which is my favourite song from Hedwig

The brilliant “Stand by me” performance from HIMYM (special thanks to Cobie Smulders who was all of us in that moment)

And, of course, the legen – wait for it and I hope you aren’t lactose-intolerant because the second part of the word is – dairy “Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit” by Barney Stinson

And those are just the tip of the iceberg…

Seriously, I imagine NPH’s creation going somewhat like this:

God: How much talent do you want to have?

NPH: Yes! What up?

That being said, if you belong to the few people who haven’t watched this show yet, I have two warnings for you…

First: You’ll never be able to hear the song “I’m gonna be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers again without slowly sinking to your knees, screaming NOOOOOOOO at the top of your lungs and starting to weep because it will be stuck in your head for days. DAYS, I tell you!

Second: The HIMYM ending is absolute crap and I’m so pissed at it. This is GoT all over again (or rather, I now know where D&D got their idea from since HIMYM is the older show). Seriously though, is there some secret prize for the producers/writers who manage to make the best shows and character arcs only to screw them over in the last episodes??

In any case, for anyone who hasn’t watched the show yet, here’s a simple four-step guide:

1. Watch every episode including Season 9, Episode 22 (you could leave out the rhyming one cause that one was boring and had no point imo)

2. Do NOT watch Season 9, Episode 23 and 24 unless you want to get “I want to punch a hole in the wall-angry”

3. Don’t bother with the alternative ending either cause that isn’t much better than the original

4. You’re welcome!

PS: I’m not gonna write HIMYM fics but I might have to include a small Barney Stinson tribute in one of my future Braime fics because I’ve had an idea on how to easily fix his stupid ending with a guest appearance.

#himym #barney stinson #nph

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 4 years

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Toothbrush

Fandom: How I Met Your Mother

Pairing: Barney Stinson x Reader

Characters: Barney Stinson, Reader, Marshall Eriksen, Lily Aldrin, Robin Scherbatzky, Carl The Bartender

Word Count: 1336 // Rating: Teen

Summary: Baby you don’t have to rush, you can leave a toothbrush at my place.

Tags/ Warnings: New Relationship, Blossoming Love, Flirting, K*ssing, S*x, Implied S*x Song Fic [x]

Notes: I’m doing 12 days of Songfic’s for Halloween. Not halloween related just a challenge to write everyday [updated 9/22]

12 Days of Songfic Spooktober (Oct 19th - Oct 31st)

Barney sat at the bar watching the door. It was half ten and he had been there for hours hitting on every girl who came through the door with not much look whilst his friends sat in their regular booth and chatted. Barney couldn’t rest. He had to find a suitor. He had to find someone to sleep with tonight that wasn’t Y/N. He had to prove to himself that he could. As Carl called last orders Barney felt anguish set in and so he left the bar and walked to where his friends were chatting in their booth. ‘Finally admitting defeat huh?’ Robin chuckled sipping on her beer. ‘No,’ Barney said as he got out his phone, ‘I’m sure there’s someone out there that’s interested in the Barnacle.’ ‘Dude just call her,’ Ted said. ‘No,’ Barney said, his eyes still on his phone. ‘What’s the problem? So you like the girl-‘ ‘Shhshhshh!’ Barney said looking up, ‘I don’t like her!’ ‘Whatever dude,’ Marshall said, ‘liking someone is dope.’ ‘Dope what is this 1997,’ Robin chuckled. ‘No, if it were 1997 Y/N wouldn’t have just walked through the door, right Barney?’ Marshall retorted, making Barney’s head snap up and whip around to the door followed by everyone else’s as they ogled the girl who had just come in. Y/N smiled awkwardly and waved toward them before going to the bar. Barney felt his heart rate shoot up as he watched her speak to Carl. As he leered he noticed his friends slipping out of the bar. ‘By Barney,’ Ted said, ‘have a good night.’ Barney nodded but said nothing. As they left one by one they waved goodbye to Carl behind the bar which Y/N noticed and grabbed her drink before walking over to Barney. ‘Hey,’ she said sliding into the booth. ‘Hey,’ Barney said. It was unlike himself no suaveness. He didn’t notice that he had slid his arm around her in the booth whilst they talked. And they leaned in closer and closer without noticing. She was merely a foot away, and then Barney felt unable to stop himself he leaned in and kissed her. She tasted of beer and cherry lip balm and he was intoxicated. They made out for over ten minutes in the booth before Carl forced them out and closed up. They were all over each other outside until a cab pulled over and they climbed inside. By the time they were at Barney’s apartment Barney’s shirt was half off and his pants were unbuckled. Y/N had her shirt off and was making fast work with her pants. They were in the bedroom before midnight. Barney was uncomfortable. His bladder was pressing against him, full, and there was heat on his making him sweat. He woke up to find his blinds open and his curtains pushed back allowing warm rays of sunshine to breach his bed and his face. He rolled over onto his back to find the other side of the bed empty which brought a wave of disappointing sadness over him. Then he heard the shower. A warmness swelled in his heart. This was a situation they had been in a thousand times. It had been a conquest for Barney at first. Y/N was a teacher who worked with Lily and she had introduced them over a month ago at a fundraiser she had roped the gang into. Barney had hit on her straight away which she didn’t take kindly to and knocked him back. He had been determined from then on. He’d bumped into her at random, he’d done career day at their school, he’d invited her to the bar and tried his every move until one day she had asked him to come over to her house. He had been ecstatic, then he found out she wanted help icing 200 cookies for a school bake sale and his heart had sunk. He stayed though. They iced and drank until finally they until finally they could barely see and Y/N had invited him into her bed.

He had done it.

But the next morning hadn’t felt like a conquest. He didn’t want to leave in the middle of the night. He didn’t want to ignore her calls or pretend he was a Russian businessman who didn’t speak English when he saw her on the street. He wanted to take her for breakfast. Freaked out, he made his excuses and left wondering what he would do when he saw her again which had been later that night at the bar when she turned up to return his favourite belt, which he had left on her bedroom floor. They’d talked and she didn’t seem crazy or clingy. She said she didn’t want a relationship so there was no need for barney to freak out and he had been happy with that. They even went home together that night.

And the next night.

And the night after that.

Over the past month, Barney had gone home alone twice. Every other time he had been with Y/N, much to his friend’s mirth as they teased him relentlessly about having a girlfriend which he insisted he didn’t. But now, lying in his bed and listening to the shower knowing that she would dress and leave within ten more minutes he felt disappointed. He didn’t want her to go. He wished he had woken earlier like he had some other mornings, and cuddled into her. He wanted to take her to breakfast. He wanted to kiss her goodbye on her way to work and meet her later tonight for dinner before falling back into bed.

As he was thinking his bedroom door flung open and Y/N came in dressed in just a towel. Her hair was wet and tethered back in a ponytail. She didn’t speak as she came in, busy picking her clothes up off of the floor which she did with a flurry as she haphazardly threw on items under her towel before hanging it up on a peg beside Barney’s closet.

‘Your hair’s wet,’ he commented as she rolled onto his elbow watching her.

‘Yeah, well you don’t have a hairdryer and I’ve not got time to shower at home so,’ she said.

‘So you’re gonna dry your hair at home?’ he asked confused.

‘No dummy,’ she giggled which made him smile, ‘I’ve not got time I’m just gonna head to the office.’

‘With wet hair and yesterday's clothes?’ he asked with a quirked eyebrow. He shuffled forward to the edge of the bed and sat up, the sheets around his waist. She took a look in the mirror her back to him as she said, ‘I work with second graders and no one wants to sleep with me. You think they’ll notice what I’m wearing?’

‘No one wants to sleep with you,’ he scoffed, ‘I don’t believe that.’

‘I think the 25-year age gap might put them off,’ she chuckled.

‘Do you have to go? I mean you’re not going home this morning maybe we could have a replay of last night. You know, round two,’ he said.

‘I don’t think so, pal. You are at least another twenty minutes away from my work and I’m already late. Maybe you can just think about last night yourself or hang onto that memory for tonight,’ she said leaning down and placing a kiss on his lips. He accepted it with ferocity, his hands circling her waist and pulling her onto him as he fell back on the bed. She pulled back slightly as he did and shook her head, ‘not now. Besides I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.’

And with that, she was up and off of him disappearing out of his bedroom before Barney could push himself up. Before she could leave though he said, ‘you know maybe we should leave some of your things here for tomorrow? Save you having to rush.’

He heard a chuckle and the click of his front door before he fell back onto his bed. For now, the promise of tonight was the only thing that would get him through the day.

#My writing #barney stinson #how i met your mother #himym #himym fic #how i met your mother fic #barney stinson fic #barney stinson x reader #toothbrush

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