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miserycanary · 2 days

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MISSION: LOVE KILL ᡣ𐭩 [trailer]

pairings: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & fem!reader

synopsis: the trailer to my very first full-length series set in a soulmate AU.

pairings: (applies to future parts) angst, smut, fluff, mutual pining, misunderstandings, rivals to lovers to rivals, featuring Ghost's inability to communicate, graphic mentions of violence, might hint to sexual violence, BARELY PUT TOGETHER, torture, one bed trope, i-will-wait-for-you trope, loving-you-is-like-breathing trope, slowburn (unless I get bored and rush this), poor poor attempt in crack, will add more as we go on

The subtle searing pain on the back of his neck is enough reason for Ghost to hate the idea of soulmates existing. It wasn’t just the fact that he has lived up to his 30s feeling like a fire wasp is buzzing under his skin, it was that the government fully developed their system with pairs in mind. You mean to tell him that he has to have found his partner—who’s probably cities or even continents away—just so that he could fucking own property? Utter fucking bullshit, he calls it.

‘Nutjobs! The lot of them’

It was also the fact he had to watch his mum’s so-called soulmate almost beat them up to death each day. How could someone whose single purpose in life is to torment them be his mother’s soulmate? Fate either has a weird take on the concept of love and the whole shenanigan or it’s fucking wicked. Either way, the S-word has left a bad taste in his mouth—and memory. He would rather die, not having property—or anything really—to his name if it means that he wouldn’t comply to the fucking standards of pairs.

Or so he thought because, once again, life is fucking wicked like that.

When he first broke the news that he would be retiring from the army, he expected his future days ahead full of smooth-sailing lounging. Maybe a cup of tea in hand or even some biscuits if he was feeling fancy. Imagine his shocked face when he inquired with a real-estate agent to finally have something to call home, no longer needing to stay by some cheap hotel with what his little pay could afford, that he cannot fucking do that!

“Yeah, this would be good. Really nice stuff here,” Ghost gruffs. “Yeah? Well, let’s get started then. Um, here are the paperworks that you need to fill out. Uhh, you just need to input your government code and your partner’s. It is policy that you bring your pair in with you when it comes to legal documents, but I’m sure that we could make an exception for our veteran here,” the agent smiles; one that Ghost did not reciprocate. “I ain’t got a missus with me. Haven’t found them yet.”

It was a simple explanation, not wanting to dwell too much on his reasons. Before he could even take the papers in his hand, the man retracts. Confusion etched on Ghost’s face while pity is on the man’s. “Oh, I am really sorry but you are legally required to have a partner before you could own property—or anything for that matter.” Ghost looked this agent for a good few minutes, anticipating the ‘sike’ that he desperately wishes to hear but only dead silence echoes. “Surely you could, say, make an except for a veteran?” he nervously chuckles out, trying to weasel his way into a fucking home. Nothing. Dead fucking silence that’s heavy with pity. Ghost loathes it.

Without even saying a word, he turns his back and starts walking towards the car he rented today, because you can’t even own a car in this government! He should have flagged it as weird when the lady in the car shop insists that he should rent first before buying something. So, now he sits in the dingy bar that Soap has dragged him into after he informed the force that he would not be settling anytime soon. After explaining his circumstance, he expected them to react like he did before, but no. They all replied like they knew this. Even saying stuff like, “you didn’t know?” Of course he didn’t! It wasn’t like Ghost was invested in property or anything for that matter while he was serving. All he cared about was surviving each day, and that is it.

“Aye, cheer up, lad. Life ain’ that bad. Ya’ just gotta get them lassie, and all yer problems would go away,” the Scot on his right drunkenly offers advice—a shit one at that. Did he really think Ghost hasn’t stepped foot on every land they got deployed with heavy hopes that he’ll find whoever he needs to find there? He fucking hates it here. He should have not retired this early if he knew this would happen. Now he needs to go around the world and search for the lassie whose presence—or her lack thereof—is the root of all his problems.

If finding a needle in a haystack is hard, imagine finding a lady that’s probably moving countries as he speaks with Soap. “Yeah, like that’s fucking easy,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes before lifting his mask just enough to down his shot of whiskey. The fiery burn of the alcohol down his throat is nothing compared to the one on his neck. He would rather have it cut at this point than to go on about this miserable lifetime any longer.

“Should I just cut and peel it off?” he mumbles to no one in particular; probably to Fate if that shit is listening. Seeing that no one else in the rundown bar is really paying attention to him, Soap takes the honour in replying to him instead. “According tae what I’ve seen , jobby pain is hee haw compared tae th' pain ye will feel in yer heart. Doctors say that th' pain goes tae th' heart instead while tripling”. Unprompted, Ghost curses like a fucking sailor. Saying stuff that will probably get him on the government's watchlist if he wasn’t part of the military serving this goddamn country. He risks his life daily and this is what he gets? Ungrateful bastards.

With a slam of the glass on the mahogany table, he stands up with a new profound determination. “Fuck it, I’m finding that missus if it’s the last thing that I do”. “Eyy, that’s the spirit, matie,” Soap drunkenly encourages him, which should have been the first red flag on this idea. Any idea supported by Soap is an immediate botch.

Well, what could go wrong? He’s retired anyway.

Turns out, many could go wrong. Well, here’s to the fucking shit-show of his life.

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱: please give this love!!

dividers by @cafekitsune

Please reblog!! Ask is open!

⟢ taglist is open!! @hotvinimon

check out my other works in the masterlist: ୭!

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wihellib · 2 days

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This is inspired by @/luceafarul-de-dimineata’s post about lacking motivation to play WHB.

The issues that this game has had since launch and it’s slow content release schedule really highlights that PrettyBusy is a very small game developer that has never made a gacha game before. They seemingly did hardly any research on how to make a successful gacha game.

With gacha games you need to release a lot of content in the first year to keep people’s attention and engagement. You need to give people constant reasons to come back to the game, so it cements a place in their life.

It was smart for them to have 4 chapters available right at launch. Front-load a lot of content to keep people entertained while they work on more content. The problem was (and still is but not quite as much) all the bugs and glitches with the game. So they had to use the time to try and fix those instead of working on continuing the story.

PrettyBusy should be releasing new chapters every two months. Their main story chapters are not long enough to justify needing any more time than that to complete new chapters.

They should also release a new event each month. Have a schedule of two weeks on, two weeks off for events. But skip adding a new event when a new chapter releases (so a month between events instead of 2 weeks).

PrettyBusy needs to be more open and communicative with the fans about where they currently are in their process. They had said they would implement a friend system and update the pancake shop by April and obviously that didn’t happen. The most egregious is them saying they’ll release new main story chapters every three months, but it has already been longer than that since the last one released. Again, they should not need that long for new chapters, they’re story chapters are not complex enough for that.

They should be updating the fans on their social media about when updates are going to happen and why they are late. You can’t promise to deliver something by a certain date, not deliver it, and then ignore that you said that. As a game developer, you can’t do that. You’ll alienate your fans.

I really really love the concept of this game despite the many many issues I have with the game itself. I do find myself wishing that a more experienced game developer had created the game. I think many of the issues have to do with PrettyBusy’s inexperience and the fact that they’re constantly trying to play catch-up because of the game’s disastrous launch. I hope that they’re able to fix their issues and speed up the release schedule and communicate better with fans, otherwise I can’t see the game lasting long, which would be unfortunate.

#what in hell is bad #whb #prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#what in “hell” is bad?#prettybusy what in hell is bad #prettybusy

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 day

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AITA for not being entirely negative about AI?

05/16/2024

Just before anyone scrolls down just to vote YTA, please hear me out: I'm not an AI bro, I am a hobbyist artist, I do not use generative AI, I know that it's all mostly based off stolen work and that's obviously Bad.

That being said, I am also an IT major so I understand the technology behind it as well as the industry using it. Because of this I understand that at this point it is very, very unlikely that AI art will ever go away, I feel like the best deal out of it that actual artists can get out of it is a compromise on what is and isn't allowed to be used for machine learning. I would love to be proven wrong though and I'm still hoping the lawsuits against Open AI and others will set a precedent for favouring artists over the technology.

Now, to the meat of this ask: I was talking in a discord sever with my other artist friends some of which are actually professionals (all around same age as me) and the topic of discussion was just how much AI art sucks, mostly concerning the fact that another artist we like (but don't know personally) had their works stolen and used in AI. The conversation then developed into talking about how hard it is to get a job in the industry where we live and how AI is now going to make that even worse. That's when I said something along the lines of: "In an ideal world, artists would get paid for all the works of theirs that are in AI learning databases so they can have easy passive income and not have to worry about getting jobs at shitty companies that wouldn't appreciate them anyway." To me that seemed like a pretty sensible take. I mean, if could just get free money every month for (consensually) putting a few dozens of my pieces in some database one time, I honestly would probably leave IT and just focus on art full time since that's always been my passion whereas programming is more of a "I'm good at it but not that excited about doing it, but it pays well so whatever".

My friends on the other hand did not share the sentiment, saying that in an ideal world AI art would be outlawed and the companies hiring them would not be shitty. I did agree about the companies being less shitty, but disagreed about AI being outlawed. I said that the major issue with AI are the copyright concerns so if tech companies were just forced to get artist's full permission to using their work first as well as providing monetary compensation there really wouldn't be anything wrong with using the technology (when concerning stylized AI art, not deepfakes or realistic AI images as those have a completely different slew of moral issues).

This really pissed a few of them off and they accused me of defending AI art. I had to explain to them that I wasn't defending AI art as it was NOW, because I know that the way it works NOW is very harmful, I was just saying that as an IDEAL scenario, not even something I think is particularly realistic, but something I think would be cool if it were actually possible. The rest of the argument was honestly just spinning in circles with me trying to explain the same points and them being outraged at the fact that I'm not 100% wholeheartedly bashing even the mere concept of AI until I just got frustrated and left the conversation.

It's been about a week and I haven't spoken to the friends I had that argument with since then. I still interact on the server and I see them interacting there too but we just kinda avoid each other. It's making me rethink the whole situation and wonder if I really was in the wrong for saying that and if I should just apologize.

#aita #am i the asshole

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mcsm-confessions · 1 day

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A lot of you fans need to actually learn how to read into characters. I’ve seen so many confessions talking so much smack about Petra and how she’s a “boring” character with too much attention but that’s the point. She’s a character that has so much potential and got that potential. A lot of people mention how she was whiny and upset in season 2 but don’t ever take the time to realize that she is going through a lot. During the time span of a few years after season 1 it’s clear that their friend group had shifted, Jesse doing more duties inside of beacon town as well as Axel and Olivia. They get busy I understand that, I really do, but after years of being the one to place events and your friends to ignore them saying they’re busy is pretty hurtful. Not only that but you guys calling her character boring clearly don’t notice how complex it is. She’s a very important character for season 2, she is the parallel between her and Romeo and that’s important. Knowing season 2 is about distant friends make a lot of sense, and for her to have a lot of character development ,whether it good or bad, does not make her a boring character. You are entitled to your own opinions but they shouldn’t be shitting on a character you clearly cannot understand very well because you’re too small minded to understand it. It’s a kids game about blocks, it has some really good topics people need to learn, and if you can’t understand those concepts that’s put out there you need to do something serious deep diving. It’s just tiring seeing the Petra hate train but seeing the Romeo love express. Romeo is 12x worse than Petra in so many ways, shapes, and forms. He is a terrorist, he is a mad man, and he’s killed people just for his own enjoyment because he’s a whiny baby. Petra is just someone who doesn’t know how to control her emotions, she’s been by herself for so long she doesn’t understand how to talk about how she feels to others. When she finally figures it out, get out of her comfort zone, you guys shut her down and shit on her. She’s an emotional character whose friends are slowly distancing themselves while she is actively trying to be the one to start more interactions just to get shut down all over again. She has all the rights and reasons in the world to be upset, you guys just ignore it and talk shit because she’s a women. Anyways that’s all I gotta say.

~~~

#mcsm confessions #mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm petra #mcsm fandom criticism #mcsm petra discourse

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jade-kyo · 2 days

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Season 17 post restoration thoughts

Casually skipping 16 and going straight to 17 because lord knows I can’t afford to lose anymore braincells. I genuinely enjoy this season so I’m looking forward to the rewatch!

Ngl jumping straight from 15 to 17 really highlights how absurd this is like bro why is there gods and shit omg 😂

The fates are racist- that explains a lot

Donut my sweet baby boy

You know as much as I hate time travel stories this works way better for a “lets reference and call back to as many previous arcs and seasons as possible” nostalgia trip than Restoration did

Okay while I personally prefer the take that Donut is fully aware of all the innuendos he makes and is doing it to be a little shit I do think it being unintentional is really funny considering the ace Donut thing

“You have me all wrong” “I doubt it.” Donut the master at not getting gaslit

Donut knows Wash’s name is David- meaning Wash must have told all the reds and blues his real name

JESUS CHRIST DONT KILL JUNIOR

Felix is afraid of knives

Man I love it when Dr. Grey sounds like herself

We love insurance fraud

DONUT WASH TEAM UP MY BELOVED

Wash just silently shooting Donut again has me wheezing holy shit

The Wash and Carolina conflict is so freaking good man I love them

Man this season is just genuinely entertaining to watch despite everything- the way I wish we could’ve gotten this character writing with a better story

Oh what’s that a way to reference back to all the freelancers that includes Wyoming and the triplets. The concepts are wild again.

Also it’s just genuinely hilarious

WASH SCREAMING INSIDE HIS HELMET

DELTA OMG I FORGOT HE WAS IN THIS SEASON

I need to find the ost for when Wash and Carolina reunite and she’s saying how she trusts him and doesn’t know why bro this music is so pretty

Seriously I’m enjoying this as a nostalgia trip so much more than restoration

Oh I can feel my inner 15 year old desperately trying to take control of my body and send me down the carwash pipeline again holy shit- platonic or romantic. They’re good either way 🙂

OH GOD THE CABOOSE FEELS AGAIN THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

Kai I love you with all my heart and soul but you do not disrespect Junior like that

STOP BEING MEAN TO DONUT HE IS DOING HIS BEST

Yes Caboose IS a genius and also my son

Kai messing with Tucker is glorious holy shit is that bit funny I love them

“Time is made of circles” what a nice, funny and succinct callback. Look at those concepts being wild.

Not Tucker dropping the “your mom” bit on Doc AGSKHAKS

HELL YEAH DONUT YOU FUCKING TELL THEM THATS MY BABY BOI!!!

PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wash might be a competitor with Church for number one Donut Stan

Or simulation headcanon: Church is projecting his liking of Donut onto Wash

Okay but Donut should be in the caves not under the pelican FR PEOPLE STOP FORGETTING ABOUT THE CAVES!!!

Laughs in Spanish

I love competent Caboose and Donut

“My testicles send their regards” has no right being as badass as it is

Love a good Tucker moment- sure wish it wasn’t just redoing his character development that never should’ve been undone to begin with

OKAY BUT TUCKER AND DONUT MOMENT THO???? So good- can’t believe Donut is the “angsty bitch”

WASH AND CAROLINA AKDHAKBSKSHSKDHK

Love them talking about the AI like they’re Carolina’s siblings

Holy shit the voice acting between these two is so good

“If he’s single there’s no hope for any of us” sargington nation rise

Sarcastic Donut my beloved

I said this last time but seeing Church impaled by a golf club, even if it is actually Genkins, is entirely unnecessary bro I don’t wanna see that

THE LABYRINTH!!!

GOD CAROLINA VS CAROLINA AGAJSHKAH FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

Sarges vision is further proof that the correct ending for him is retirement

OKAY I STILL HATE THE LOPEZ VISION LISTEN I GET HE COMES BACK BUT ITS JUST IN POOR TASTE

“Don’t say toodles” LOVE sassy Donut so much

DOC BADASS MOMENT LETS GO

GRIF SIBLINGS MY BELOVED

Grif enlisted reveal you will always be famous to me

I never actually thought about it too deeply before but now that I am holy shit do I love that detail it’s so good and actually reminds me of my own brother who enlisted for similar reasons and regrets it now- seriously Grif enlisting is so realistic, a lot of kids sadly think the military is the only thing that can give them structure and purpose. It’s a great addition to the anti military themes of RvB

And yet- despite all these good red team moments- THEY FUCKING TURNED SIMMONS INTO A PENIS JOKE???? AND A BAD ONE AT THAT?????? COME ON S17 I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS THATS SOME S16 NONSENSE

TUCKER CANONICALLY HAS PANIC ATTACKS- the fact they kept his visions so vague is truly a CRIME

“Still got my penis” “what-“ GOD DAMN IT THAT ONE WAS ACTUALLY FUNNY COME ON I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A POINT EARLIER

AND WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO CABOOSE- honestly I know they probably didn’t have this arc planned back then but they should’ve used the labyrinth for Caboose to find closure in Church’s death rather than the Time Machine nonsense in s15. I feel like that would’ve been infinitely more interesting.

Carolina vs Carolina MY BELOVED HOLY SHIT I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

OH FUCK THE FREELANCER TRAINING ROOM IM AKDHKAHSKSH THIS SHIT IS SO GOOD

GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET WE LOVE THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

Caboose gets it!!

GOD THE SLOW PIANO COVER OF BLOOD GULCH BLUES I CANT

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH

Man what nice fairly satisfying conclusions to everyone’s arc- don’t we love wild concepts.

Sure maybe it’s not anything super poetic or perfect like 13 but at least it makes sense

Hell I’ve even warmed up to Donut leaving! Bro deserves some him time and it’s not like he said it was permanent or anything… doesn’t that just really hit you in the wild concept 🙂

You know what- this season is genuinely such a delight at times. Im thinking about adding it to my regular rewatch list along with 1-13 as just like a little bonus I can have at the end cause it’s just such fun. Glorified fanfiction! We love to see it- maybe Restoration sucking was a blessing in disguise cause it really gave me a new appreciation for 15 and 17 (but 17 especially). I probably won’t rewatch 15 as much cause being honest I don’t really enjoy it in its entirety as much as 17 but it’s got good moments I love.

Now- I know the logical thing for me to do is go back and watch 16 and then Restoration but here’s the thing… I don’t want to.

I genuinely do not enjoy those seasons. I don’t want to put myself through something that’s just gonna make me angry and bitter just for the sake of giving commentary on them- not right now anyway. Maybe one day I’ll feel like being a bit salty and do it but that’s just really not how I want to spend my time with my favorite show. I’ve already rewatched any clips from restoration that I cared to rewatch and I don’t think any of my feelings on it are gonna change. And I’ve seen 16 enough times to know my feelings won’t change.

Now what I am considering doing is rewatching 1-13 for the 20th time (<- accurate number, I’ve kept count over the years) and continuing to do these thought posts cause they’re good fun to do! So who knows whenever the time comes you’ll probably have to deal with more of my insane ramblings 😂

#jadey speaks #rvb #red vs blue

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lunalunawillow · 3 months

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Just read Kick It Up a Notch and while the event's story was good why did it do the thing that a good chunk of VBS stories do (especially the more recent ones since Walk On and On) of just dragging the fuck on certain points 😭

Project Sekai's pacing is overall pretty great considering how story heavy and extensive it is! With Leo/Need and Nightcord being perfectly paced and WxS and MMJ having minor yet negligible hiccups but then Vivid Bad Squad's is just all over the place?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying their story is bad (trust me they do have banger,good paced stories and I'm excited for the heartbreaking plot twist coming up in June) but some of them just drag on for far too long

For example, Toya getting inspiration from the hospital guy is interesting but it loses it's appeal when it feels like 75% is focused on him and not Toya making music (and later getting to appreciate his bond with Akito) which was supposed to be the plot of the event??

And also the aforementioned recent Kohane event with the middle just feeling like meandering to have the ending randomly feel like her version of Vivid Old Tale minus the nostalgic undertone turned sad by more recent info and the much better pacing that event had

I have more examples of this but I don't want make this rant(?) much longer but TLDR vbs please stop making parts of your events go on for far too long 😭

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #vivid bad squad #vbs #and also the constant talking thoughts they love to add while they're singing please stop ✋️#the other groups do this too but not to the extent and length vbs does #this is making me look like a vbs story hater but trust me im not!! they also have some absolute gold #its just these dragged out stories feel like a sore thumb ya know?#btw when i meant by mmj and wxs having negligable hiccups...#i was referring to the early stories (main events before tea time/haruka 1 basically) for mmj #and for wxs its island panic and curtain call #btw these stories are nowhere near as dragged as some vbs but still fell like there was some pandering ya know?#curtain call and island panic had great emotional beats but also had some chapters that felt like they could be taken out #like curtain call just feels regular for the first half until asahi does the arc land offer #and island panic had a unique concept and interesting developments for nene but did we really need two chapters about beefing with monkeys?#and the mmj early events feel unnecessarily longer because of the predictable formula they have of #something happens and girl feels bad -> girl goes to sekai and gets reassured by the vocaloids -> girl feels good and confident #for both of these groups is negligible in ths greater scope of things and the grand majority of their other stories are amazing #ok end of rambling tags #kohane azusawa #an shiraishi #toya aoyagi #akito shinonome

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herestoburiedsecrets · 2 years

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Thinking a lot about Mary moving on…

I love how it was handled, for although while the ghosts talked about it a fair bit, I didn’t actually think the show would go there, and I think it was portrayed really well. It makes sense for Mary’s character development, especially given that she mentions in 2x4 that she ‘dreamed of the day when [she] would be sucked off’ which makes this a happy ending for her, but it still hurts so much, and I don’t think i have even fully accepted it yet.

I am a bit unsure as to whether her moving on was something that almost randomly occurred or whether it was due to the fact that she was healing from her trauma in a ‘unfinished business’ type way. I am leaning more towards the former just because of the actual timing of her moving on, although it did happen quite shortly after some huge character growth and development within the season.

I do love the thought that her healing and sharing her trauma and finding her voice led to her moving on, but the implications of that are very hard to accept, because it means that any growth or development of the characters could lead to their eventual sucking off, and that is so hard to think about. It implies that the Captain learning to let go and express his emotions and accept his sexuality will mean that he will move on, or Kitty coming to terms and accepting how her sister actually treated her and finding a new family in the ghosts leading to her moving on, and that is so overwhelming to think about because I really don’t want any more of the ghosts to move on. I know it is an inevitability with the actual rules set within the show, but I really love these characters and I would hate for them to not exist anymore.

If moving on is a more random process, which I am inferring it is given how it just *happens*, then it means that none of the ghosts will necessarily move on if they change and grow and develop, which is comforting because I really want to see them all learn and develop without the knowledge that all this change is bringing them closer to not-existing, because I feel like that means I can’t enjoy their character development as much, or appreciate how they are all growing as people. I want each ghost to personally grow, but also to be able to sit and exist with the growth without it meaning that they have to leave the world behind for good.

Mary was, in my opinion, the perfect character to move on, not only because of her amazing recent character development but also because of Annie, because Annie was her best friend in a way that none of the other ghosts were, and so in a way it felt right for Mary to go with Annie. Also while I am sure a lot of ghosts would like to move on (probably Robin especially, definitely not Thomas tho), Mary has explicitly stated her desire to move on, which makes me happy for her since she got her desire, even though it is terribly painful to watch. Being a ghost is it’s own specific form of torturous existence, but it also allows the ghosts another shot, and they have become a family together, and I really don’t want to see anyone else move on.

#i am feeling a lot of very complicated feelings about just the concept of moving on and i wrote this post to help me make sense of them a #bit so sorry if it doesn’t really make sense #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts season 4 #like I completely understand that moving on is probably what many of the ghosts want but it is so scary to think about #especially with my favourite characters - like Cap has had so much development and growth over the seasons and I really don’t want that to #mean that after he comes out he will move on because to me that cheapens the development if that makes sense #i would love for Cap to be able to talk openly about his sexuality and express himself fully #but not at the expense of his existence as a ghost #and that is applicable to all of the ghosts but I am thinking about Cap a lot because he has a lot of huge character development throughout #the show and has a clear path of development that we as the audience can see because he has three main issues that have been clearly defined #throughout the show (which are all interlinked to some degree) - 1. his inability to express and fully accept his own sexuality 2. his #difficulty letting go of the war and extracting himself from his role in the war and 3. his general repression of all emotions #i do think that there is enough evidence within the show for me to say that the actual moving on is fairly random because yeah mary moved on #after she was able to share her story and find her voice and all that but she actually got sucked off on a random morning and so did Annie #anyway yeah just thinking about it a lot because i have seen a lot of people talk about it

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eldragon-x · 1 year

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well anyway

#I'm just gonna ramble in the tags a bit #I put Pacifica lower in the og list because her development was just. gone in weirdmageddon but man. I do like her and wish the writers-#-didnt bungle it 😔 SAD! well theres other sad rich girl characters #wendy has being the character who I wanted to be like as a child privileges and also she literally deserved an episode #I dont Dislike gideon but man he was done dirty after being the s1 main antagonist #like the ep before the s1 finale builds up to gideons peak in the season finale but it mostly consists of introducing bill who was-#-summoned by gideon and immediately steals the show. especially once gideon gets shelved for most of s2. and only really becomes relevant-#-again to help bill with weirdmageddon for a little bit. do you get what I mean with gideon ended up so far in bills shadow in terms of-#-major antagonists #its fine tho. gid's just an over the top comedic child villain anyway. cozy glow type beat except he got redeemed.#I talked so much about gideon despite caring so little for him lmao #anyway I dont care for robbie. they couldve been onto something with him in love god but No.#Like The Concept of mabel seeing that hes miserable and trying to help was nice but the episode sucks #and outside of it he's basically just dippers rival mostly with the whole wendy crush storyline so. yeah.#normal about this show btw #gf

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abelas · 2 years

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guess who’s writing an interactive fiction novel 👉👈 can anyone say dark fantasy horror/romance ✍️

#I AM #i think im actually doing it #im SO pleased with the concept #i've got all the romances figured out #i need to worldbuild and develop characters #its got ELVES. its got GOBLINS. its got TIEFLINGS.#im LOVING the plot so far LMAO!!! i havent written in a long time and im really not as experienced as some people #so im really trying not to be too hard on my self? like this is just gonna be a really fun project #and something to get me started w/ being creative again #cause man. i miss that. i miss like.. living life and making things i enjoy making #anyway.................. i dont want to release a demo. i want the whole first book to be done before i release anything #BECAUSE I HATE WAITING FOR DEMOS AND CHAPTERS!!!!!!!!! so i'd rather have it all accessible at once. who knows how long this is gonna take #its gonna be a WHIIIIILE before anything is released but at least i have a plot. i was worried about that LMAO but i think im getting the #ball rolling now and its exciting :')#personal

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strohller27 · 2 years

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#so I guess it’s time for one of those late night posts where I basically write a diary entry #but like anyway being lovers with someone is such a wild concept to me #and maybe it’s because I’ve never met a person who has been willing to love me the way I’d like to be loved but like…#how do you get somebody to care about you so much that they want to be around you all the time #ask you about your day and listen and then tell you about theirs #someone who I share interests with and participates in things with me #who also understands that it’s cool if I go off and do my own thing once in a while #how do you get someone to trust you enough to be open and vulnerable with them and vice versa?#I’m not sure I’ll ever find someone who’s willing to put up with me just as much as I’m willing to devote myself to them #it just seems like such a person is too good to be true #like people tell you that there’s someone for everyone but that sounds like a comforting lie if I’m going to be honest with you #is it just that I’m in the wrong place? or that I’ve been depressed for long enough that I never developed a healthy sense of optimism?#(at least where it concerns the idea of love)#like I was watching MASH the other night and Hawkeye said something to Margret that really hit it on the head #he said something like ‘why are you looking for something tailor made in an off-the-rack world’#and I thought yeah damn #nobody can be tailor made for us. we’re stuck with what’s out on the sales floor #and sure we can make alterations to garments but with people you can’t do that #so like where does that leave us?#do we really just kinda go through life settling for whomever we’re willing to put up with at the time??#I guess I gotta hold out until I find someone who’s worth working with and making alterations to my self for #but like. I’m unfortunately still super skeptical that it’ll ever happen.

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allaboutthemoonlight · 15 days

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How to Build Self Discipline

Cultivating self-discipline is the way towards personal growth and achieving long-term goals. To me, it’s really all about making choices that honor your well-being and identity.

Understand that self-discipline is about self love and respect

It’s not about punishment or deprivation, but rather caring for yourself enough to make choices that align with your long-term well-being and goals.

You’re showing yourself the respect you deserve by honoring and committing to changes you want to make.

It’s all about recognizing your worth and having the motivation and courage to pursue what’s really best for you, even when it requires a lot of effort and decision-making.

Frame your identity in a way that includes discipline

How we act directly ties to our identities and how we believe we are. If you believe you’re a successful individual, you’ll live a life framed by confidence and determination. If you believe you’re someone who is lazy and unmotivated, you’ll struggle to find the drive to pursue your goals and aspirations.

Gaining discipline is all about acting as the person you believe you are and moving through life in a way that’s consistent with your determined identity. The key here is to try to imagine who you are at your highest self in a disciplined state of mind.

To start this, ask yourself these questions and slowly arrange your life in a way so there’s no distance between who you are now and your highest self:

What does your day look like

What do you eat

What do you wear

What does your week look like

What does your work day look like

What hobbies do you have

What’s your morning and night routine

Who are you surrounded by

What do you say yes and no to

Have systems in your life

I recently wrote a post about habits and mentioned the idea of systems versus goals. Here, I want to delve a bit deeper into that concept within the context of self-discipline.

To me, another way to truly live a disciplined life is to establish starting systems, something that will propel you past hurdles and reduce the friction that accompanies change.

Let’s say you want to improve your eating habits and cultivate discipline in consuming less sugar while incorporating more whole foods into your diet. You could begin by implementing a system of prepping healthy snacks or meals in advance at the start of each week, or however you see fit. By having these snacks readily available, you eliminate the need for decision-making, making it easier to adhere to your goal.

Anything that serves as a reminder or facilitates consistent action toward your desired outcome is a valuable system in your life.

Be okay with not doing something and embrace the mindset of small wins

This may seem paradoxical in the context of developing self-discipline, but being okay with not doing something is crucial. There are times in life when we need tough love and motivation, but there are also moments when compassion is the driving force that propels us forward.

When you don’t follow through with something, whether it’s going for a run or preparing a healthy dinner, it’s important to be okay with it. You don’t need to shame yourself or feel guilty for not taking action because that will only reinforce negative thought patterns, making it harder to create the change you desire.

Consider this: if you miss a planned run and spiral into self-criticism, you’re more likely to avoid running altogether. However, if you approach the situation with understanding and compassion, you’ll be more inclined to try again next time.

This is where small daily victories come into play. Sometimes, all we need is one small step forward to develop a new habit and maintain consistency. Whatever you're striving to improve or change, if it feels daunting, tell yourself, "Just for today, I'll do a 15-minute workout instead of the full hour," or "Just for today, I'll read 5 pages instead of the entire chapter," and celebrate these as small victories. Doing so not only helps you establish new habits but also allows you to acknowledge the progress you've made and the trust you've built within yourself.

—Luna

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tentacle-therapissed · 1 year

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I’m so glad the Guillermo Del Toro Pinocchio movie is being received really well, because it was literally my most anticipated movie of the year! So here’s some fun facts about the crew, concept, and production that got me excited about this movie and that I think would excite much of tumblr as well:

-the screenplay was cowritten by Del Toro and Patrick McHale, creator of Over The Garden Wall and a writer on Adventure Time.

-the movie was codirected by Mark Gustasfon, who was the animation director of Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

-the primary art/animation designers of this movie (production designer Curt Enderle, art director Robert DeSue, character designer Georgina Hayns, animation supervisor Brian Leif Hansen, and photography director Frank Passingham) previously worked on projects that include Coraline, the Corpse Bride, Paranorman, Isle of Dogs, Frankenweenie, Kubo, and Chicken Run.

-Besides Netflix, it was produced by the Henson company (always a good sign when you’re doing anything with puppets) and ShadowMachine, who have produced a lot of Adult Swim shows including Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, and Tuca and Bertie, as well as the Netflix original BoJack Horseman.

-Del Toro was inspired to make this adaptation due to the similarities he’d always noticed between the original Pinocchio story and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Both are about a man-made character’s relationship with his father/creator, and his attempts to understand what it means to be human. This inspiration is why the film takes on a gothic feel at times.

-the movie is over 10 years in the making. Del Toro announced the project in 2008 and production began in 2012, but it went into development hell and no further updates were made for several years. Del Toro has described it as his passion project, saying "I've wanted to make this movie for as long as I can remember.”

-the backdrop of Mussolini’s Italy was intended to show how Pinnochio was able to find his own humanity and will in a time where everyone else was acting like a blindly obedient puppet. Del Toro wanted to deviate from the original book’s themes of obeying authority by making his Pinocchio virtuous for questioning the rules and forging his own set of morals. (Also if you know anything about Del Toro, the guy likes to dunk on fascism.)

-Del Toro didn’t feel the need to have Pinocchio become flesh-and-blood at the end of the movie, saying all you need to be a real human is to behave like one.

I was lucky enough to see this movie in 35 mm in a movie theatre on Thanksgiving weekend. If there are any movie theatre showings near you and you’re in a position to be able to attend them, I would totally recommend it especially if you can go with loved ones. It was a gorgeous, heartwarming, and magical movie to experience on a big screen and perfect for the late fall/winter holiday season.

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theragethatisdesire · 11 months

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aot men as dads - headcanon!! some 18+!!

includes: eren, jean, reiner, & levi

i'm still working on some full-fledged one-shots and parts of my series', but i'm nannying for the summer and have BABY FEVER. please enjoy my little headcanons of my fav aot men as dads <3

DISCLAIMER: some of this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

Eren

ok but eren is such a cringe dad lol

buys himself all of the #1 Dad! merch. he’s got mugs, tshirts, hats, all of it, and all of it went on his credit card.

10000% a girl dad. loves all the little dresses and bows; he puts your daughter’s hair in its first bun, nearly tears up when she points at his matching hairstyle and babbles “like da-da!”

you have to parent eren as much as the children. when you turn the corner into the living room where he’s supposed to be having “quiet time” with your toddler only to find that they’re buried in a pillow fort and eren’s signed his own name in crayon on the wall next to your daughter’s scribblings. “babe, we can just repaint it! she’s being creative.”

loves when you’re pregnant. after your first, eren keeps a calendar on the wall marking off the days until it’s safe for him to fuck you again, fuck a baby right back into you. already has a breeding kink before your first. develops a lactation kink after.

TERRIFIED (and i mean terrified) of hurting your little angel. has absolutely zero concept of “cry it out”; if he hears his baby crying, he’s sprinting into the next room, kissing a nonexistent boo-boo.

refuses to admit it but he has no backbone when it comes to your daughter wanting literally anything. she wants it, she gets it.

favorite thing in the world is matching outfits. favorite. “babe, where’s her green hoodie? i’m wearing mine today for the park!” “of course it matters, we have to match! on that note, where’s yours?”

lets your daughter use his hair to learn how to braid. usually has a few pink hair ties or glittery clips sticking out of it when you come home from a mom’s night out.

really big on your baby getting to see the world. drags you on vacation to any place he can think of, even as you try to explain to him that she can’t form any long term memories yet. “but baby, she’ll have pictures. how many kids in her class can bring a picture of them at the eiffel tower to their first show-and-tell?”

accidentally ruins santa and the tooth fairy for your daughter. cries harder than she does over it.

aggressively vets babysitters. ends up settling for a nursing student in the labor & delivery school who’s the oldest of seven children and probably more knowledgeable about child development than both of you combined, but he’s still suspicious.

wants to watch while you push, watch his baby come into the world. you’ve never seen a sweeter sight than eren in his scrubs, crying while holding your baby girl.

Jean

most people picture eren as being the roughhousing dad, but it’s jean, and i will die on this hill.

freaks out every time he drops your first boy while throwing him around like a ragdoll, but he’ll never stop because “listen!! he’s laughing!”. when it comes to the rest of them, he’s experienced enough now to tell the difference between a real booboo and an imagined one, and he simply brushes their little pants off caringly before shouting “now you tackle me!”

jean’s got no gender preference for your first, or the rest of your little brood for that matter. he raises them exactly the same, regardless: tough.

it takes him awhile to get used to the concept of babies’ minds. you’ve walked in on him having full-blown arguments with your shrieking toddlers several times. “what’s not making sense? if you let your goldfish ‘swim’ in the toilet, it dies, simple as that.”

plays “bad cop” for you because you’re terrible at it, but he’s always having to turn around and snicker into his elbow in the middle of scolding because your babies get the same little throbbing forehead vein as you when they’re mad

wants a big family, and gets it. you practically have to drag him to get his balls snipped after your fourth, him reminding you that “it’s reversible!” the entire way there.

the newborn phase is his favorite. he’s rarely home for any longer than ten minutes without scooping your most recent addition into his arms, squishing their little cheeks and marveling at their gurgling noises.

the kids never give him anxiety, but when you’re pregnant??? jean’s a wreck.

“do your feet still hurt, love?” “what do you mean you have indigestion? that could be the baby coming!” “of course we can’t have sex, what if we poke its little head?”

definitely the dad that’s got a delivery bag and a backup bag and an emergency third backup of the backup bag in his car at all times. the first week of your third trimester, he starts watching you suspiciously for any signs of labor, even though this is your fourth together. you think you’ve got it down by now, you tell him, but he won’t listen.

always gets the kids to work together on little surprises for you. every mother’s day they wake you up with breakfast, every valentines day your dining room table is covered in handmade cards, every birthday your kitchen is coated in flour from jean and four little ones attempting to bake

SO HARD to drag him out for a date night. he wants to bring them everywhere: the fancy restaurant, the couples' get away trip

jean's that dad standing in the bar, watching the game, beer in hand, with an occupied baby carrier strapped to his chest

wants to watch during delivery, but he passed out the first go-round, so now he’s content standing up by your head, trying not to turn white as you squeeze his hand hard enough to break.

talks you into just one more on your fourth’s second birthday. “they’re all so big now. don’t you miss it, babe? my baby in your belly? c’mon…” turns out he reversed that vasectomy without telling you

Reiner

another girl dad. hardcore girl dad.

buys his little princess all number of dresses and barbies, is confused when she’s more interested in the baseballs her classmates have.

accidentally raises the most tomboyish, toughest little girl. still babies her, and she hates it.

cries more than you do on your first date night out when you leave her with your mom. forgets to order his entree at the restaurant because he’s watching the baby monitor app on his phone.

definitely the best at splitting baby duties with you. reiner’s up before you most nights when she wakes, grabbing a bottle and cooing at her lovingly even as she screams. you always try to stay awake to watch him on the baby monitor, though, heart melting as his massive arms rock the tiny bundle back to sleep.

all the neighborhood kids love him because of his size. at every cookout, reiner can’t help on the grill because he’s buried in the grass in a little army of toddlers, led by your daughter, shrieking with joy.

always taking pictures. literally always. unflattering ones when you fall asleep breastfeeding, candids at the zoo, eighteen identical pictures of the lock of hair from her first haircut clogging up his camera roll.

can’t be the bad cop. literally ever. he just can’t say no to his little princess, can’t break her precious little heart by telling her that throwing her food onto the floor is bad.

takes your daughter to mommy & me classes with him

DILF DILF DILF. all the moms in the classes swoon over him and gossip about him when he’s not there; much to your annoyance, reiner never notices, insisting that they’re his “mommy friends”.

always sporting a little bit of glitter on his face or a sticker on his back from your daughter

coming from a fatherless background, reiner nearly kills himself trying to be a constant presence in your daughter’s life (you have to remind him that he has to rest too)

never misses an open house night at school, even if it nearly gets him fired. coaches all of her sports teams. literally almost cries when she makes her first soccer goal. actually does cry when she tells you the boy sitting beside her in class called her his girlfriend. full-blown breakdown on her first day of school, so bad he has to stay home from work.

the absolute BEST through your pregnancy and delivery. always cooking your craving of the week, constant foot and back rubs, stays up all night with you for the three days before the birth when you’re just too swollen and miserable to sleep.

holds your hand through the entire delivery, gets in the doctors’ way when they’re performing checkups because “i’m her father, i need to know what’s going on”

Levi

levi never pictured himself as having children, but when your little surprise arrives, blinking up at levi with his own grey, owlish eyes, levi can’t believe he hadn’t thought of it sooner.

very easily irritated with anyone asking questions about your home life.

when his coworkers ask for your newborn’s name, levi simply says “child.” are you two trying again? “why the fuck do you need to know?”

super overprotective. your baby waves at someone in the supermarket, and levi’s leaning down to explain (in words your eight-month-old can’t yet understand) stranger danger.

totally one of those parents that goes half-crazy trying to get their child into the top-notch, snobby preschool in town.

“we’re not wasting his intelligence on the public school”

levi grew up with basically nothing, so he goes all out buying the best baby products on the market. $2,500 strollers, researching “best baby toys for development”, the whole nine yards.

100% spends months trying to get your child to make a game out of picking up his own toys after playtime, but it never works.

has a meal plan for your child to “optimize nutrition” that you have to sneak around to give your baby little chocolates and junk snacks.

“why are there pringles in his playtime bag? they have no nutritional value.”

vets anyone that comes around your child, even other children. “no more playtime with that evan kid. he’s always got a cold or something.”

he’s always been a light sleeper, but once you have your child, levi snores beside them watching kids’ cartoons on the tv like you’ve never seen him, even drooling as his head lolls, arm tucked tight around your little one.

learned everything he could about labor and delivery beforehand

you almost killed him in the delivery room as he explained each medical detail of your labor symptoms to “reassure” you. he finally got the hint when you threatened to decapitate him.

he thinks it’s shameful, but watching you be a mother turns. him. on.

wants to take you right there when he catches you breastfeeding, watches you read a bedtime story, spin your child around laughing. you’re just so naturally good at it and it makes him love you all the more, all that love going straight between his legs.

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universalitgirlsblog2 · 6 months

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🧁🎀IT GIRL GUIDE 🧁🎀

This is a guide to help you become an IT girl . The term IT girl isn't same for everyone . For some it means a girl who has achieved a high celebrity status at a young age. For some, it means a girl who takes care of herself . In kpop , this title is mostly given to the ones who stay relevant for a longer time , have alot of brand deals & has made alot of impact on others - especially in fashion. What does being an IT girl means to you ?

🎀Tips to become an IT girl 🎀

1) Healthy Skin

I have noticed how the most popular IT girls have healthy , clear and glass skin . For example : Song Jia, Jang Wonyoung , Jennie etc . They all have clear skin. Try to visit a dermatologist, get to know your skin type and develop a skin care routine which suits you. Get enough sleep , stay hydrated , don't touch your face with dirty hands & don't pick your pimples .

2)Workout

Wonyoung , Song Jia & Jennie take great care of their bodies . You must have seen Jennie's instagram posts , she is consistent & practices pilates daily. Wonyoung & Jia also practice pilates to stay in shape . Here is a video of them practicing pilates , click here for wonyoung & click here for song jia . Karina also workouts to maintain her body. This video can motivate you.

It's not necessary that you need to do pilates just because Wonyoung , Jia or Jennie does it , if you don't like pilates , find any other exercise like yoga,HIIT , cardio etc or any sport like swimming , badminton etc . Basically , just find any exercise whether it's pilates , cardio etc or sport like swimming , badminton etc to keep yourself in shape . Don't limit exercise to only weight loss , it will not only help your physical health but will help your mental health too !

3) Fashionsta

An IT girl should know how to choose outfits which compliment her . Get to know your body type and experiment with different kind of style to know which style suits you . You can take inspiration from celebrities too !

4) Elegance

Wonyoung , Jia , Jennie , Nayeon , Irene , Karina, Bae Suzy etc . These all IT girls are elegant . Wonyoung radiates princess & royalty vibes because of her elegance . Maintain a good posture which will make you appear elegant and confident . Be gentle & kind . Have a good grammar & vocabulary. Read more. Have a signature fragrance . Maintain personal hygiene. Here are some posts which have more tips on how to look elegant - this one by @malusokay & this one by @femmefatalevibe

5) Confidence & Self Love

Wonyoung , Song Jia , Irene , Jennie , Nayeon etc. These all IT girls have confidence& love themselves. They are confident in themselves .They put themselves first .Improving your self concept can also help 🤭. Remember what Wonyoung said ? She said how she only tends to give herself love . Song jia also said that she really loved herself & her phone wallpaper was herself ! Also don't chase anyone , chase your goals . Spend your time creating a beautiful garden & the butterflies will come !! This post by @girlbloggerbby has wonderful self love tips , I hope it helps you ! Also this post by @malusokay & this one by @ribbonie

6) TRENDSETTER

All these it girls are not only fashion icons but also trendsetters.Don't try to be like anyone else , take inspiration If you want to ! Learn from everyone, follow no one . Be your own trend setter. Don't follow trends , SET THEM !!

7) IDAF attitude

People can be really cruel & harsh sometimes . When it comes to social media, I would say these days , most of the time , comment section is always full of hatred. Song Jia got alot of hate for the stupid fake clothes scandal and she still gets hate till now but she doesn't allow it to affect her anymore. She is just busy in improving herself & her life. She doesn't let hate get to her. Wonyoung , Karina, nayeon etc they all get hate for just breathing but they don't let the negativity get to them . Stop seeking validation from others and don't care about their opinions . Most of the time we get hate when we have done nothing wrong , it's better to realize our worth at that time & know that people often project their own insecurity on others . I hope this post by @prettieinpink helps you & I have affirmations too related to seeking self validation , not external. Idaf mentality affirmations by @vixeneptune .

8) Have hobbies

This is inspired from Jia , she always spend time with herself & her hobbies . It can be anything - singing , dancing , writing poetry , painting, cooking etc . It doesn't have to make sense to others , just do it for you and your own happiness. You don't need to master It as well , write the most rubbish poetry in the world , it doesn't matter , as long as it makes you happy . Don't try to seek validation for your hobbies as well . If you like it , then just do it .

9) Be smart & hardworking

Wonyoung got 100/100 in science , English and Korean. She also won several math and science competitions . Romanticize studying & being smart . Read more & give your best in studies ! Nayeon , Wonyoung , Jia , Karina , Irene , Jennie etc they all are extremely hardworking .

10 ) Be mysterious

Song jia , Wonyoung , Jennie , Irene, Alexa Demie etc are mysterious . Don't reveal too much about yourself . Be more private . Keep your goals & emotions a secret . Most of the time people can use your secrets against you too or demotivate you when you share your goals with them .

11) Affirm

This tip is probably the most easiest and simple one . You can manifest being an IT girl!! Just affirm like you are an IT girl . Act like her& affirm and you will become one! You can also use the Jia , Wonyoung , Jennie etc affirmations to become like them! Wonyoung & Jia affirmations by @magic-irl . Wonyoung & Irene affirmations by @heejinisoutofideas . Wonyoung , Jia & Jennie affirmations made by me !! Alexa demie is also considered an IT girl & Meghan also. Affirmations by @nevillesgod for Alexa & @magic-irl for meghan . It girl affirmations by @vixeneptune . More affirmations for it girl by @cyber-f4iry . It girl vaunt by me .

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canthelpit0 · 8 days

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Silent

Pairing: Matt x reader

Wordcount: 1.8k +

Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…

Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc

(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)

I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.

But it’s been years now.

I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.

Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.

It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.

It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.

There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.

Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.

The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.

Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.

In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.

Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.

He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.

I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.

I’ve been watching everyone.

Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.

Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.

I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.

But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.

Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?

I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.

There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.

I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.

Her son is apparently mute too.

When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.

Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.

So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.

Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.

I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.

She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.

I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.

I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.

I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.

Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.

I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.

I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-

Suddenly I bump into someone.

I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-

I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.

“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.

“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.

I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.

So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.

It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.

I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.

He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.

“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.

I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.

I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.

He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.

I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.

Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.

“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.

I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.

Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.

Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.

I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.

“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.

I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.

His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.

Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.

He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.

I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.

“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.

He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.

“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.

And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?

The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.

So I nod.

I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.

We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.

And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…

Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.

We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.

“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.

I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.

I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.

Masterlist

A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life

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gotham-daydreams · 8 months

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How would it have gone differently if Reader didn't try to be an "overachiever" and instead just stayed quiet and didn't interact with anyone besides Alfred until they left? Their room they left being mostly blank, with only the music journals? Giving up on trying to get their attention.

I think what's so funny about this ask, to me, is that I already have a concept like this written down (along with 3 others since the current reader I'm writing for the "Not [ ]" series is one of them but with a few missing details), so this'll be fun!

I guess it generally goes how you'd expect? Which is different for the most part, but the reader's perspective on what's happening is also different.

Granted, I would like to point out that, at least for this particular concept and the idea I have for it of how this would go, does have more stuff going on pre-Batfam that do affect how they perceive what's happening, and that's what makes things interesting in my opinion. Because someone can be naturally shy or just overall more reserved either out of nature or because they feel a certain way, but still feel bad about being neglected and, despite their lack of effort, feel that pain just as much as someone who's tried. Which is valid! Besides, someone's definition of 'trying' can vary as well.

Everyone should have a chance to have a family, and form some kind of connection with people. Just because you aren't going above and beyond for one person, doesn't mean you're undeserving of certain things. Especially not a chance to have a family, or feel like you have one. That's what I think anyway.

Nevertheless, back to the reader!

From the original concept, I will be tweaking a few things to fit the ask, but the same general outcome remains! Though again, the reader's perspective on things is a tad different. But how about this- I'll show two versions of the reader.

One that's quiet and more reserved because they gave up much earlier, or just generally hopeless really early on because maybe they felt as if anything they'd do just wouldn't be enough, who'll be accurately named Quiet!Reader. With the other being more closely related to the concept I wrote for such an idea, that we'll refer to as Waiting!Reader.

Quiet!Reader would change up things quite a bit! I won't lie!

They might already have bad self-esteem that's quick to develop at the start of things, which is something to note as that doesn't get better with time. They grow more cold and distant from the family at a quicker pace both from personal and external reasons.

Put simply, they don't feel good enough, and even if they did- anything they could do to get the Batfam's attention would never be enough in their eyes. To which, they see very early on when they try to engage and do some things with the family, only to be turned down. What doesn't help is when Quiet!Reader sees Damian get adopted and almost immediately showered with love, (compared to them) and that really cements some ideas that were already developing in their head about the family.

When Damian comes into the picture, they feel replaced. Seeing him as someone to fill in the 'youngest Wayne' role instead of them, so that Bruce and the others actually have someone to acknowledge for such a title. Just someone else to further take away the little they had.

So, they further step out of the way, glaring at the Batfam with tired eyes before that eventually stops too. Envy clawing at their heart, hatred being sent through waves of pain all throughout their body. Hurt unmatched. Yet they still remain invisible. Quiet as ever. Unnoticed. Everything they ever felt dies down, and forms a cold numbness that they begin to associate with the family.

Maybe through that, they feel closer to the family in some twisted way. Now just as cold as them. Just as talkative, and just as engaging. Almost mirroring them, but they're honest about how they feel. Honest about what they think, and therefore better. At least when compared to the Batfam- and to them, even if it wasn't a high bar to reach anyway, at least it counts for something.

It was never Damian's fault, or really about Damian at all. It could've been anyone else and Quiet!Reader would've still reacted the same way, they know that. Though just seeing the Batfam show love and care to him and not them just makes them feel... worse.

Clearly they're capable of love, and can notice new additions to the family (to which they may have mostly believed that the Batfam's neglect was just something the family did for whatever reason, and thought that them being the youngest had something to do with it for a while) and that breaks the reader. It doesn't hurt, not as much as it would've, maybe, but whatever hurt is there dies down quickly as Quiet!Reader, well, quietly accepts their fate.

The Batfam clearly wants nothing to do with them, so why should they try to do all of these things for them? It's simple, they shouldn't. So they don't. Quiet!Reader gives up, and continues to live their life without them.

The Manor just becomes a place they sleep in, and nothing else. It isn't anything close to a home, and not even Alfred can help with that.

It's because of that little fact, however, that Quiet!Reader leaves much sooner than the reader in the "Not [ ]" series. Maybe once they get a friend they can trust, they essentially end up living with said friend, hence why their room remains so empty. The notebooks they even keep in the room they have in the Manor is from when they were way younger, instead of just being from a few months ago or so. We're talking years since Quiet!Reader has touched those things now.

Maybe they do 'officially' leave a month or so before they usually would as an overachiever in the "Not [ ]" series, having only bothered to return so often before because of Alfred. Though even then, they'd forget to return most nights- only being reminded to even try and go back once Alfred would personally call them, and ask them where they were.

However now, after a while of just the time between them basically living with their friend and sleeping at the manor, they stop returning altogether. Though this time around they instead personally go to Alfred to say they're goodbyes. Not explaining much, but just saying that while they might still try to come and visit him sometimes, they don't live in the Manor anymore. Alfred already knows this, and the embrace they share fully hammers in that fact.

Yet when Quiet!Reader turns away, and leaves the Manor for good- even through the front door at that. Alfred can't help but just... miss them already.

You see, while Quiet!Reader is indeed quieter and more reserved, especially towards the Batfam, with Alfred really being the only exception, they still made music.

Maybe they didn't have as many concerts or physical, grand, live performances compared to the reader in the "Not [ ]" series, they not only started earlier, but may have actually started out on a social platform such a youtube. They really started out small, but were able to find and start their passion much earlier!

Most of what they played was when they were in the Manor, but slowly they started to get involved with things music related outside of the Manor and in Gotham- and from there were able to build themselves up even more. Hell, I'd even say that Quiet!Reader is a little more well-known and popular than the reader in the "Not [ ]" series because of the amount of extra time they dedicated to their passion.

So basically, Alfred this time around has more recordings and such of Quiet!Reader actually doing something they love than with the one in the series. However! Funnily enough, they're gone for a shorter amount of time despite having left earlier than normal.

Alfred is just, extra fed up with this nonsense, and so pulls his tricks more early on, but also make them hit harder.

He doesn't clean Quiet!Reader's room to show how long they've been gone, adding onto the emptiness and almost abandoned feeling the room itself gives off because of how bare and empty it is. They're music haunts the halls, subtle, sure, but still noticeable- especially to those who are hyper aware all the time. Pictures of Quiet!Reader and Alfred begin to be hung up, and if he can manage- some with Quiet!Reader and their friends during important parts of their life.

No one is safe from the guilt and anguish Alfred seeks to cause to not only have the Batfam look for you, but most importantly, to finally notice you.

Let's just say, things work out a little too well.

---

As for Waiting!Reader? Oh man, I've been wanting to rant about them for a while!

Unlike the reader in the "Not [ ]" series and Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader had some semblance of a life before getting adopted into the Batfam. Though the idea and character themself isn't musically inclined/involved in music, or even all that interested in music for that matter- for the sake of this ask, lets say they are!

I won't dabble too much into the life Waiting!Reader had before the Batfam, as if I do end up writing them I'd also like to keep some details vague (for the sake of leaving it up to interpretation and everything), but just know that during the time they were still with their original family, they were essentially taught that they should 'wait their turn', and eventually their parents would spend time with them and care for them. Hence the little name I've given them.

So! When they get to the Manor and are officially adopted, only to be neglected and ignored during their first few attempts- because of their young age, they immediately think "oh! they're just like mom and dad!" So they 'wait' for 'their turn', believing that eventually, should they wait long enough, they'll be rewarded with bonding and such from the Batfam just as they were with their previous parents.

This mindset changes what they do as well, as Waiting!Reader even goes out of their way to not bother anyone, or "get in the way" of whatever they could be doing. Waiting!Reader treats the situation so much like their previous home life, that sometimes they might even forget that the Batfam are completely different people from their parents. The only real difference that they can think of is that they're not acknowledged at all and it seems like their 'turn' never comes. Though for a while that doesn't get them down. The Batfam is busy like they're parents were! Waiting!Reader is sure that when things die down then they'll have their time.

... Hopefully.

I can imagine that part of the reason why Waiting!Reader holds on to hope for so long is because, again, their own parents constantly reassured them that they would have their time eventually. That if they behaved, and stayed out of the way, then they would go somewhere fun with their parents and essentially be rewarded for their efforts. They were conditioned to wait, to be patient, and just comply until those around them decided to actually take care of them, and spend time with them.

Of course, as they grow up the reality of the situation does hit them eventually, but during that time they do try.

Waiting!Reader helps Alfred around the house, and so they mostly bond over doing chores, among other things. They are also more mindful, and try to keep the amount of noise they back down— so they actually don't play at the Manor all that often, and instead play literally anywhere else. If and when they do play outside, around the area of the Manor like in the gardens or something, they make sure no one is around before even thinking of playing.

Alfred does help them break a few of their habits that they got while living with their parents, but the one thing he can't seem to 'fix' is how absolutely quiet Waiting!Reader is when they walk around. Which, as on can imagine, doesn't exactly help in a situation where the whole family, except for the butler, is neglecting you.

The amount of times Waiting!Reader has caught Alfred off guard is more then you'd think for someone that works with the Dark Knight, and his various sidekicks and such, over the years. Which does say something, sure, but it's also funny!

Regardless, similar to Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader is able to start their musical career earlier than normal, and thuse becomes a little more popular than they would originally. However, they're more known for their live performances and giving back to the community. Seemingly just like Bruce as they attend charity event after charity event, and try to do good by the people.

Waiting!Reader also does genuinely try to become a vigilante as well, but they do so in a way where they only take care of the smaller/medium guys, and leave the bigger ones to the rest of the Batfam. This is because they want to remove possible distractions for their family, and while they would try to take on "bigger guys", they don't think they're skilled enough or experienced enough to even think about it. So they don't even try. (They also don't have the same theme as the Batfam- since they don't want to 'ruin' their reputation with what they're doing or something. Which does hell them further detach themself from the family later on.)

I'd say that with Waiting!Reader, the difference between them and the Batfam is more clear to them? Like, to them, the Batfam are just so good at what they do that they have no hope of reaching them. So instead of trying to reach for them, they just do their own thing and try to help in their own way.

Because Waiting!Reader takes care of smaller guys, they are kind of closer to Waiting!Reader as a vigilante.

The best way I can put it is that while the community trusts Batman and the members of the Batfam to save their city, they trust Waiting!Reader to save their homes.

So basically- Batfam is the bigger picture while Waiting!Reader focuses on the smaller picture.

Nevertheless! Also like Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader actually leaves earlier. Except when they leave, they leave.

Waiting!Reader straight up leaves Gotham City to attend the college that they want to go to, in an area that has more opportunity for them, that isn't close to where the Batfam lives or patrols.

So they not only leave earlier, but it also takes the Batfam longer to find them. Especially because Waiting!Reader does still do some things in Gotham, they just don't live there anymore.

I feel like out of all three readers, Waiting!Reader definitely feels like the kind of person that someone would assume is some kind of "Phantom of the Wayne Manor," y'know?

So Alfred definitely tries to make the Batfam feel bad like he does with Quiet!Reader. Except how anyone in the Batfam is reminded that Waiting!Reader even exists, and that they've been gone for a while now is through a letter that is accidentally sent to the Wayne Manor from one of Waiting!Reader's fans. From there, some research does start and the more the Batfam learns, the more they want to go and find the reader- you know the deal.

I hope this answered your question even if I really did ramble on this time- if you'd like me to clarify anything or go into more detail on a specific part, feel free to send in an ask!

#platonic yandere batfam #yandere batfam #gn reader #sibling reader #yandere dc #yandere x gn reader #platonic yandere #yandere alfred #neglected reader #talking daydreams #yandere batman

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