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silverity · 10 months

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Why do you call yourself a "marxist feminist?" your analysis is closer to mainstream reactionary narratives and radical feminism in general - why the obfuscation and lies?

i became a communist, specifically a marxist leninist, at about 15. i educated myself on Marx, Lenin, Engels, Mao, Stalin, Ho Chi Minh, Castro, Che Guevara, Kwame Nkrumah, Thomas Sankara, Kim Il Sung — id say most of the fundamentals necessary to developing a communist understanding.

from my own Black upbringing i already knew Malcolm X, but i read further about the civil rights movement's Black leaders and revolutionaries, such as the Black Panther Party, Black Liberation Army, Fred Hampton, Huey P Newton, Kwame Ture, George Jackson. read Black scholars like James Baldwin, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, bell hooks, Du Bois, Fanon. also read Parenti, Said and Freire. i made sure as a Black woman to learn from Black women and marxist women, so i both read about and read the works of Rosa Luxemburg, Claudia Jones, Assata Shakur, Kathleen Cleaver, Nawal El Saadawi and Angela Davis.

so i was a marxist leninist in marxist circles for a very long time, and for all that time i was very pro-trans. now, there's been a rising tide of misogyny in the mainstream for the last couple of years, and i noticed men of all races in marxist circles were either failing to address it or addressed it only with reactionary, backwards analyses. many started voicing outright misogyny themselves under the guise of criticizing "bourgeois white women". it seemed they'd only read the works of marxist men and hadn't paid any attention to the women as i had. even other marxist leninist women, though their analysis was solid, were not focusing on women's issues directly. there's this tendency among marxists to treat feminism as some inborn component of marxism though they're not doing any direct study nor work on it at all. they think a class revolution will resolve everything when that's not entirely true. we will have to restructure society around gender/sex, race and many other inequalities, not just class.

so i turned to feminism. i went back to the aforementioned marxist women, who cover topics such as anti-imperialism, anti-capitalism, prison abolition, Black nationalism and so on, but for the first time focused exclusively on the situation of women. this time i read marxist women for their marxist feminism, incorporating also Evelyn Reed, Silvia Federici, Ellen Willis, Clara Zetkin, Sharon Smith. as you may have noticed from the name, marxist feminism is sourced from feminism (yes, radical feminism) as much as it is marxism. many of these marxist feminist women drew from radical feminist women, both to further their own marxfem theory as well as to contrast it.

& i wanted to read what they were referencing for myself, so i began to read radfem works for the first time. i was surprised that what marxists had always dismissed as "white bourgeois feminism" was actually incredibly intersectional and insightful. and that even the white radical feminist authors were accounting for race and class, with many directly interrogating marxist theory and building upon Engels' analysis in Origin of the Family. i now firmly believe that to wholly understand the oppression of women you must understand our position under the intersection of both capitalism and patriarchy.

so!!!! i arrived at marxist feminism but with heavy influences of radical feminism. i would say my politics are a combination of the two (which some would call socialist feminism) but i prefer to keep the marxfem label owing to my marxist leninist origins (socialist is too broad a term), and also because my approach is still generally that of a more marxist leninist structural analysis, first and foremost. where marxist feminism provides a materialist, anti-capitalist analysis of the exploitation of women, radical feminism scrutinises the interpersonal relations between the sexes under patriarchy and its gender hierarchy. radical feminism also covers a lot more ground pertaining to women: women's history, feminist anthropology, women in media, science, psychology & so on. im particularly interested in radfem deconstructions of Judeo-Christian theology as of late.

thus it was with this new radical feminist understanding of women's oppression, and the analysis of other radfems of the trans rights movement, that i realised The Terfs Were Right All Along: gender identity ideology is regression masquerading as progression and will never liberate women from our degraded position so long as the female body continues to be exploited and abused. our oppression under both capitalism and patriarchy is the oppression, exploitation, and regulation of our female biology. after all, it's only women who are able to produce workers for the capitalists and the state, and children for the men and the society. this is the origin of women's oppression that began thousands of years ago. the oppression of women today is the systemic exploitation of the human female.

i went back and recalibrated my marxism as well and in doing so realised dialectical materialism doesn't lend itself to gender identity theory whatsoever (something a lot of other marxists have realised too). a liberation movement has to address the situation of women, it has to address our material reality. it cannot work off of idealism. i find mao really great on dialectical materialism, so let's look at his writings. according to Mao, "Idealism considers spirit (consciousness, concepts, the subject) as the source of all that exists on earth, and matter (nature and society, the object) as secondary and subordinate" whereas "Materialism recognizes the independent existence of matter as detached from spirit and considers spirit as secondary and subordinate.... [Idealists] cannot point out the materialist truth according to which consciousness is limited by matter, but believe that only consciousness is active, whereas matter is only an inert composite entity."

marxism is alternately termed "scientific socialism" for a reason. we are not idealists like the utopian socialists. we do not deal in idealism, we analyse reality through the scientific method of historical materialism. as Mao writes "Materialist dialectics is the only scientific epistemology, and it is also the only scientific logic. Materialist dialectics studies the origin and development of our knowledge of the outside world. It studies the transition from not knowing to knowing and from incomplete knowledge to more complete knowledge; it studies how the laws of the development of nature and society are daily reflected more profoundly and more extensively in the mind of humanity."

to "[belong] to the materialist camp" in Mao's words, we must "[recognize] the independent existence of the material world, separate from human consciousness — the fact that it existed before the appearance of humanity, and continues to exist since the appearance of humanity, independently and outside of human consciousness. To recognize this point is a fundamental premise of all scientific research.... what we call consciousness is nothing else but a form of the movement of matter, a particular characteristic of the material brain of humanity; it is that particular characteristic of the material brain which causes the material processes outside consciousness to be reflected in consciousness."

in essence, the internal is a product of the external. not the reverse. this does not support the supremacy of "gender identity" over sex, nor does it support the extreme position assumed by some in the trans movement, of the subjectivity or non-existence of sex altogether. we have to transform society in order to transform ourselves, which in this context would mean the abolition of gender throughout the whole of society— not the promotion of individualist self-identification with ascientific microlabels. gender identities do not liberate anyone from the confines of gender—they further lock you in, making you an ardent defender of the tool of your own repression. evidently, supporting gender identity ideology would not only be the betrayal of the proletarian woman and the fight for her liberation, and the liberation of everyone repressed by this system, it would be the betrayal and the distortion of marxism itself. a vulgar materialism.

if you want a more thorough breakdown of my ascent to terfdom or anything more about marxism leninism that'll probably have to be another post. let me know! i'll leave you with this from Mao on dialectical materialism: "The world is nothing else but the material world in a process of unlimited development.... If the proletariat and all revolutionaries take up this consistently scientific arm, they will then be able to understand this world, and transform the world."

#you didn't ask for my life story but i gave it to you anyway #marxist feminism #dialectical materialism #radblr #mao #radical feminism #marxism #marxfem #terfblr #marxism leninism #original posts #edited

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rustyvanburace · 9 months

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To be honest, as much as I really do want to write IssaNava and put all my thoughts down in a fic, I think my past shipping experiences has left me really hesitant and even admittedly afraid to.

I can't deny that IssaNava would face a lot of conflict and issue that would have to be meaningfully addressed for them to even work -- same as with WalterJona or any other pairing with conflicted characters, for that matter. It's a ship that I really want to treat right and with the utmost respect. And as much as I like the enemies-to-lovers trope (or maybe conflicted persons-to-lovers would be more apt) as much as everyone else does, it is such a difficult trope to write for and one that requires careful balance. At least, that's what I've learned.

There was a time I had a ship I used to really love. Around that same time I was writing with someone (technically role-playing) who also liked that ship. We aimed for the conflicted-to-lovers approach, but it ran into a lot of serious problems where we both had very different ideas of where it would go despite talks. That in itself is not inherently bad, as sometimes characters (especially in RP) just don't click. But my writing partner was particularly disappointed in me, insinuating that I just wasn't trying hard enough yet also not even acknowledging the more shippy or positive things I did wrote. I was trying really hard and my efforts could never meet their growing expectations. It got so bad that they grew suspicious that every negative interaction between our characters was somehow a deliberate ploy I made. That I "hated" their character.

I can't hold too much ill will against them as they had their own poor experiences and there were moments where I could've written better. But trying really hard to make a ship work and receiving so much dissatisfaction and even outright suspicion, it really fucked with my confidence as a writer. More than just that one ship though, I got the vibes that they saw me as a bad writer in general. I literally couldn't write anything after that.

Needless to say, that whole experience completely ruined that ship for me as now all I can associate with it are my own failings. And even though I still like the conflicted-to-lovers trope, the very potential in two characters who are in conflict yet are able to see beyond that and become friends and then something more -- I am so hesitant to write that now. I need to treat it delicately and with the utmost care. If I cannot get the ship right and write them perfectly, then it will never suffice. Anything less is not acceptable. ...That's the kind of thinking I get roped into.

IssaNava is very much a ship I really, really want to treat right in respect to their class differences and their struggles. They would realistically have conflict that cannot just be swept under the rug. I suppose I have a much easier time now, because I would be writing them alone and can direct any story as I please. But even still, there is that lingering fear that my writing will never do them or their circumstances justice and that anything I output will be unsatisfactory. Or worse.

In the same light though, queer ships are inherently messy and raw. They cannot just be made to fit into a neat little box. And Navarre and Issachar are very, very messy characters. Is it also even fair to me to be held by the expectations of another who was never truly satisfied with anything I wrote?

This doesn't just make me adverse to writing my ships, despite deepdown really wanting to, but also even from wanting to share them on a close level. I cannot ever get back the love I had for that old ship ever again and I never want to lose that with the things I love now.

Clearly the answer is that these things should all be for myself first and foremost. Lately I have been trying to do more for me and to allow myself to be selfish. Even still, I don't think I can just easily shrug off the perfectionism and fear of failure that has been deeply instilled in me. Maybe I will never actually bring myself to write IssaNava. Maybe I am just not cut out for writing fanfics. But, those also doesn't have to be a bad thing either.

#I may have spoken a little before about having ships ruined but I can't find that post anymore #I've been going through a lot this past month and it has given me a lot to think about #I do need to do more for myself #rusty talks

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dgcatanisiri · 3 months

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Man, I spent part of a post last night comparing how Dorian in Dragon Age Inquisition to Oliver in How to Get Away With Murder, how they were gay characters in media released in the same year and yet basically end up being two ends of the spectrum in portraying common gay stories, and just... It genuinely makes me ANGRY that Dorian was the companion character when we could have gotten something like Oliver's story out of having Felix as a companion instead.

Obviously, first the companion classes would be shaken up by this, sure - part of Felix's character is his lack of magical ability, so he'd probably be specced more as a rogue, meaning that there'd need to be a different companion for that, but...

I mean, first of all, that offers more poignancy and story significance from Alexius as an antagonist - unlike Dorian's father, this is a father who would burn the world to save his son. Talk about novel for a queer character.

Secondly, for all his talk, Dorian utterly fails to be anything like "the Redeemer" that pre-release marketing hyped him as in the game proper. The problem is that he really does come across as the privileged kid who is on his first social justice endeavor, that his awareness of A problem in society is him being aware of THE ONLY problem in society.

Or, worse, really, that he's a privileged kid who ran away from home, is away from the privilege provided by daddy's money, but still expects the privileges of that money. Like there's jokes about how "no one's offered to peel me a grape" and such, but... The fact that he's a Tevinter mage in southern Thedas, in the midst of a war between mages and templars... He never really seems to acknowledge that his privilege is no protection here and now - it's not as if the Archon of Tevinter would go to war if the runaway son of a Magister was thrown in prison or executed for his magic use, his privilege means NOTHING here, but he sure does seem to walk around like he expects it.

And that privilege viewpoint is the very PROBLEM of Tevinter, one that Felix inherently would be able to get around - he could see Tevinter as it is, because he's the son of privilege who would have no privilege if the Tevinter traditionalists had their way. He literally lives only by the grace of his father. That alone is a spark of a viewpoint that Dorian can never have, of an experience of Tevinter that inherently sees the flaws and cracks and places to change society.

Thirdly, it's a way to flip the old narratives from the AIDS crisis by first being first and foremost a story about Felix trying to live for himself, instead of being the tragically beautiful life cruelly cut short. Y'know, instead of the thing with Dorian's father, which came out of nowhere in the rest of the universe, it's about dealing with this well-established aspect of the universe by having him dealing with the Blight sickness, managing to treat it in some manner that extends his life, that he would be able to have a life after the diagnosis, after the point that others who have suffered like him are told that it's all over.

Like, this would still be a deeply queer story, because the AIDS similarities would very blatantly be hitting you over the head, but at the same time, it would be a DEFIANCE of the way that the story had been played before, which... Like I've said before, a big chunk of my issue with Dorian and his story is the fact that his portrayal really does feel like it was transplanted from a 90s after school special.

And that's the other biggest thing for me and why Dorian's story doesn't work - despite its surface trappings, Dorian's story fails at being about his agency, in large part because it's driven by the player's actions.

Yeah, Dorian ran from Tevinter because of what his father wanted to do to him. Emphasis on the past tense - he already did that. Meanwhile all of his questline is about other people making decisions for him. His father lies to get him to the meet. Mother Giselle is endorsing supporting the lie, unaware of the deeper deception at play.

But even the final decision is out of Dorian's hands - telling Halward to piss off and where to shove his staff or sticking around to hear him bullshit about how he's sorry he found out (but not that he fucked around) is a choice FOR THE INQUISITOR. The very game design robs Dorian of the agency that the story puts forward that he ran to defend.

This doesn't even touch on the consequences of doing as was done with Dorian's story - the problem of introducing homophobia on a societal level like this is that it then has to be dealt with in the future. The issue Dorian faced, the reason his father did what he did, is because of the societal pressure of conforming and having an heir. To say that this is significant in Tevinter society means that it will reappear in the rest of society.

And DA4 is to take place in Tevinter. So either this recurs in that game, which I don't think the queer audience will be all that happy about at this point, given that, after a decade of social shifts, we HAVE seen a major push back against narratives that center on homophobia, or it is said to have been eroded or some such, by, say the whole "Lucerni" movement Dorian's put together.

The thing is, if you see that major of a shift in a society? It's because it was already in motion - and that guts the idea that the narrative of Dorian's quest clearly wants to push, that Halward Pavus is a "good man" who made a horrific mistake and wants to atone (as I've said often before, I don't buy that AT ALL, but the way that so much of the writing and BioWare comments come out, that definitely sounds like the way that they wanted this viewed). Because that tosses out the justification that he did this so that Dorian could live in Tevinter society, and is just that he couldn't accept Dorian as he is.

Also, I really much reiterate the fact I've said elsewhere that I find it absolutely baffling, and even galling that, after DA2 gave us Fenris, a character who was defined by the horrific deeds done to him by a Tevinter magister who had enslaved him, Inquisition gave us a Tevinter magister character who not just is rather blase about slavery in the game itself (and his subsequent appearances trying to make up for it just coming across as retroactive damage control), but doesn't even take any time to call him out, despite having one of Fenris's friends, and even potentially Fenris's LOVER, in a position to interact with him. To say nothing of how, with the way that Anders romanticized Tevinter, Fenris surely would have brought up their homophobia in their arguments, or the fact that Hawke, his neuveau riche partner, had become part of the upper class in Kirkwall, a position that, in Tevinter, would mean that they'd have to have a human partner, no matter their feelings for "the elven slave" in their bed.

Like when I say baffling and galling, I am also referring to the fact that Dorian and Fenris have the same writer.

So what have we gotten from Dorian? A retread of old narratives that are robbed of their message by the dictates of the game design making the player be the one pushing the narrative forward and cause hand tying for future installments by weaving homophobia into a tapestry that hadn't established it before, despite plenty of openings for it. What could we have had with Felix? Flipping a traditional narrative that often treats the character in question as a prop in the story of the other characters (usually heterosexual). With an added bonus of telling a queer story that would be a mesh with the world-building already established.

#dg plays dragon age #dg gets pissed #dg rants

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ssaalexblake · 3 years

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I've been wondering how you would define the arcs of the companions in modern who. Curious because what you said about Donna only having a person being kind to her doesn't change *that* much in terms of self-worth or how Martha realizing she can just leave isn't exactly built as an huge change for her.

I uh. I've sat here for a few days trying to work out what i think and discovered i am not entirely enamored with companion arcs in dw but also this is Heinously long... Sorry.

Rose

I think Rose is a classic bored with life, life gets less boring yay! arc, but it's also trying and failing to be class commentary, imo, because it just doesn't do or say anything about class. A lot of RTD's era seems to Want to talk about class but falls on its face because the guy also has a very strange outlook On upper classes which is that... He possesses that strange quality i don’t get where outwards ppl critique the system but can’t or won’t think outside the box of it Either and occasionally accidentally Lauds it.

RTD era tries class commentary and fails, not in its portrayal of the working class but it’s failure to slam the upper class (that stupid lady christina episode is my supervillain origin story!!! the poor stealing from oppressors and some rich rat losing their money and stealing instead of getting a fucking job are Not the same thing ffs)... and where he chooses to illustrate class issues through companion stories, it can... Mess up the companion stories.

Rose is stuck on an estate, is poor, not well educated and works retail and doesn't even have That anymore in the first episode and she Hates her life, but has no escape because she's poor, lives on the estate and is poorly educated.

Like... Rose being called chav (derogative acronym meaning 'council housed and violent') actually explicitly kind of makes this class angle canon text and turns her beginning from 'bored teenager' to 'teenager with dreams trapped in place because of her socio economic level' and okay... if you Only view Rose's start as her just being bored then how she ends is a satisfying ending, she's got her family, her man (kinda), is well off financially (to the point we could call her rich) And she's helping save the world from aliens and mentally interested in that.

If you view her beginning as class commentary then Rose just finding a long lost father with money whom allows her to live in comfort then it’s a somewhat crap and hollow ending, imo? It's a rich relative fantasy. How is that Rose? Rose always talks to the working class people, she goes out of her way to stick up for servants and plumbers and relates to all of them first and foremost and tries to help them, too? This is why so many people love her to this day, she knows her and others' worth even if the rich bastards don't... but that's just not In her ending??? She just gets a class bump, basically which uh... Doesn’t solve the issue.

I mean, i don't find her story unsatisfying to watch and it's okay, but they lost her there at the end if you ask me. Sure, she's badass with alternate reality torchwood but the whole Point is Rose, poor Rose from the estate, was that she was badass and cool and worth it from the very start when she Wasn't valued by society in which case... the badass is a bit hollow, imo. It's fine but i don't get the fawning over the arc because i Also love Rose but I neither ship her with Ten Or think she needs to be saving the world well funded to be her best self. In that, the end of her arc falls a lot flat. I wanted there to be a bigger point, you know? But I don't think RTD really has the most astute grip on class politics... Always thought they did better with this in s1 and that it may have been Eccleston’s influence flavouring the story.

Martha

Martha is the outlier in rtd dw in that she’s portrayed as having a middle class background, she has her own flat in london and is a doctor/medical student (it’s a Bit vague on that one but i kind of tend to see her as a junior doctor to make sense of her saying she wants/hopes to be a doctor but also saying she Is one???) so she has money, a career, a family that is annoying but whom she loves. Martha is not acting out of a sense of urgency from lack of choice... Martha just wants some fun with the cute alien she met. Like, there is nothing wrong with this as motivation. She wants some fun, is up for that and goes with the guy she thinks is hot, turns out the travelling is crap and He’s on the rebound and does some crap stuff so she leaves. That’s a perfectly okay arc for a character... She loves this guy but no, she’s better than this and has better things than this. It's not explosive or That huge of a decision for her to leave at all because there are no stakes. She can support herself easily, has a good life to go back to. It's a more 'i am better than this shit' arc than anything else.

I... Don’t have any issues with the content of this arc, but the execution always gives me pause. Martha just wanted fun and never got it, she’s constantly pulled into dangerous situations, is kidnapped, stuck in the past more than once and one of those times she’s stuck as the help for the doctor and faces racist abuse while she does work like scrubbing floors when she’s a legit doctor, all the while as the doctor (not an actual doctor) lives it up with all these perks even tho he has no actual qualifications and by all rights should be scrubbing floors himself, not her. Like, He could literally have taken them Anywhere to hide but took them there and this is as much a 10 issues as the writers wanting to what?? Portray Martha suffering racist abuse? Why? Why was that necessary? He’s also in general a dick. And the whole master thing is... Yikes. They’re out there having him make jokes about the master race while he forces martha’s family into servitude under extreme threat of violence? I mean. Yikes. And then Ten forgives him and Martha ditches him.

I guess sometimes i feel like they went Kiiiind of misery porn on this ‘martha realises he’s kinda trash and leaves’ thing when they didn’t actually need to go that far. Her realising he’d never get the hell over Rose, realising she wants her okay not bad life to move on with would have been fine. Martha had, quantifiably, the least fun of a companion lbr, she gets One fun adventure with Shakespeare and the rest sucks. They went too hard.... Martha had little stakes if she wanted to leave, she has a loving family and good job and a good money situation??? Too far in context with all this.

It’s woman meets alien falls for them and realises they’re trash and leaves ‘em. A tale as old as time, did not need to make her suffer nearly as much as they did. It's not a bad arc in general though? I don't need fireworks, i just wish they'd be more sensitive to what they're portraying.

Donna

And yeah. Donna’s arc... I can’t on good conscience really call it an arc as much as a Line. Donna’s my fave, this comes from a place of love but she didn’t get to grow at all.

If you’re gonna structure an arc the way they did here, with the lead having a revelation on what the other character is feeling at the end then that means said character has been feeling that way The Whole Time. This means Donna felt small and unimportant the whole time she was with 10. By nature of structure, it is literally Impossible for her to grow and develop or for her to Have grown and developed during the course of the season because they wipe her memory and she is back to step one. Which is apparently were we’ve been the whole time. Because she never gained self esteem throughout the season.

It grinds my gears with Donna because she’s like Rose, she’s not from a well off family and while they probably have more money than Rose and Jackie, Donna’s in an emotionally abusive environment, i will spit fire about how awful rtd’s dw is towards any woman over the age of 30 but the fact of the matter is, no matter how much i hate they did it, Donna’s mum is cruel and degrading to her daughter, she belittles her, is mean... Donna’s trying to do Anything she can to escape but she lacks the financial resources to do so. She’s after a well paid job (it's not like Donna's lazy, she works hard and well!!!), she’s after a well off husband who is nice to her. She’s trying to escape, desperately. Like Rose. When this doesn’t work she decides she actually Can happily spend the rest of her life with the guy who casually committed a genocide when they first met. She would literally rather Die than go back to the situation she was in before. Hello red flag. Rose’s reaction was anger and boredom at the monotony of life when she found herself back home... Donna’s was significantly more troubling.

None of this is okay. This is intensely fucked up. It kills me!!! Because we learn near the end she Never had any sense of self worth, she didn’t gain it by going round with the doctor and even if she had she was just gonna lose it anyway. When we see her alive and well as ten explains to her family after he wipes her mind we know how she views herself and views the life she lives. It’s grim.

And so. Donna gets a nice husband, she gets a lottery ticket, she escapes the toxic environment that degraded her constantly. Yay? Does this help her self worth issues? Is escaping from a toxic environment enough? Well. No. We know it doesn’t because she wasn’t in a toxic environment or relationship with Ten and her self worth, despite all the incredible and wonderful things she achieved, still did not improve.

They made her sense of self worth a linchpin in her arc, not to solve it, but to make Us, the audience, hurt for her. There is tragedy and then there is ruining an entire arc to hurt the viewers. If Donna’s arc had nothing to do with self worth then it wouldn’t have been a mess because in the end, even through the tragedy, she gets what she wants in escaping the toxicity of an environment she’d rather die than be in, getting a husband and money to live well allows her what she wants.

But no, rtd and co Had to mess with the audience to her detriment. literally, all they had to say was 'don't make me feel worthless AGAIN' and it says she Grew out of it and then we had confirmation that out of a toxic environment she heals but No.

I mean, Donna escaping a toxic living environment Is a victory and a good thing for ending her arc on But they also proved just escaping will not help her sense of self worth, So. Not fab.

Amy and Rory

Surprise entry in this list of complaints. I enjoy their arc and think it was well done. The plots Around it are questionable either for being wildly stupid (Hello weeping angel statue of liberty) or just... Messed up. But I actually really appreciated their arc during a proper rewatch from start to finish? The biggest evil in their arc is, unfortunately the River thing. It’s not the worst sci-fi pregnancy bs i’ve seen, not even close but... Yikes still. River’s story is also yikes but i’ve elected to not consider river a companion and instead a wife to avoid this being even Longer. They itro’d amy as a child to emphasize that this was her growing up story, imo, and it worked. Amy grows up when she’s on the show and the progression is natural and nice to watch.

The Amy and Rory we meet in 11′s first episode also grow together beautifully over the course of their time on the show, at the start Amy is far less mature than Rory (which i Also buy with how they showed their careers, people that young in jobs like Rory’s Do mature faster) and while at the beginning they kind of miss each other due to their different maturity levels despite the fact that they do love each other, Amy Grows a hell of a lot over the course of her travels and they stop missing each other and are perfectly on the level. Also, kind of s/o to Eleven for Not enabling Amy’s immaturity and trying to help her life out by going to pick up Rory as well? Not normally a thing the doctor is great about and i appreciate that 11 tries.

I am not always a fan of the stories they choose to form their arc around, but the stories don’t interfere with their arc, either, for the most part. Or at least, nothing egregious sticks out to me at the moment.

I honestly feel these two best embody a coming of age story. I feel like what the writers wanted to achieve with them was what played out on screen, it’s satisfying to watch in a way the previous three are not to me because it feels complete without being ott. Amy went from wanting to run away from what she had, to somebody who wanted to stay so she could appreciate those things she ran from.

Rory specifically i think is just a decent person, and i think that’s His superpower. He thinks small, he values the little things, the people everyone overlooks, he will save the world but won’t view somebody’s personal achievements as less than that. I kind of get hissy at the centurion thing because like... They did it to make him Awesome(tm) and he already was. It was a masculine add on and usually comes across to me that the writers didn’t realise they’d created somebody amazing if they didn’t have him wait around for thousands of years in a centurion outfit as a guard. I mean, it doesn’t detract from why i love him but... It adds nothing imo. The writers were showing some colours i think tbh.

Clara

Ah, Clara. I love Clara. I... am not sure the show loves her as much as i do. I always find it kind of ironic such a large part of her arc ends up being her demand for autonomy from the doctor when the narrative offers her so little.

When the doctor needs a nanny she’s a nanny, when the doctor needs a teacher, she’s a teacher. When the narrative doesn’t need conflict stemming from her personality she doesn’t have some glaringly massive character flaws but the second the mystery fades from ‘what/who the hell is clara’ they invent a few for her out of the blue to mix up with the new regeneration's personality. I always get stuck on Clara discourse because I don’t have a problem with the flaws Clara was given like some and don't mind they portrayed her being not so great to kinda terrible sometimes, it makes it interesting and it’s different to what we’ve been given before, but i Do actually take issue with the shoddy writing in how she Got to this place because it honestly paints a Bad picture of what was going on bts???

With Amy and Rory i got the impression the writers knew what they wanted for them the whole time. With Clara it’s obvious they had to make an abrupt swerve somewhere in the middle. At first she’s pleasant and the tension around her is that she’s unexplainable... This arc concludes with her Basically committing suicide to save the doctor and declaring it the reason for her living. The only reason i say basically and not literally is because after the lead up to how Bad it’d be to jump into the doctor’s time stream... they forget it happened and start the next ep in a totally different place. Was i supposed to take 11 doing it also and picking her up as a resolution??? because that just made it More inexplicable and bad. jeez.

Once this is done she... Yeah she teaches/babysits a Group of doctors into not doing a genocide. Then after this she gets some sudden character flaws because her previous purpose was fulfilled. On to teacher Clara teaching 12 to be a functioning person. Thennnnn Danny dies and she has her vacation in master logic land. This was fun, i enjoyed this. The bare bones of all these arcs are Fine even if the execution was awful due to casting, but i can’t claim Clara from s7 and clara from s8 makes a Natural progression from a to b because she just doesn’t.

I love her. The writing... oof.

Gonna stop here till i’ve actually watched all of s9 instead of the highlight reel, but the writing had problems. I’m not sure what i’d call Clara’s arc because??? I just don’t know, overall. I could name half a dozen things but it lacks linear progression if you ask me.

Bill omitted till, again, i’ve seen more of her than just the highlight reel.

Ryan and Graham

Gonna start with Graham here because Graham Wanted to keep travelling with 13 but chose Not to to stay with Ryan as to not abandon him. Ryan’s lost pretty much everybody, people leave him, he was okay with graham going on without him but Graham wouldn’t do it and i think in an ep dealing with abandonment as a theme that meant something. So Graham didn’t Want to go but did anyway and I feel like this ties into the theme in this era, it Is unfinished business for him. Graham didn’t want to just mope around the house and grieve, he wanted to travel and see things. He didn’t go with 13 to run away, he went to move on? Compare this to Rose and Donna who Were running from something and it’s Totally different.

I find his arc quite refreshing, actually. He’s a Very put together and mentally healthy person, he’s here because it’s helping him mentally and it also means he’s with his grandson. He wants to live, he’s almost died before, he leaves to live, not to run. Is this high stakes drama? No. Frankly his motivation doesn’t Need to be. These two remind me of Martha, in this respect. They got involved in doctor shenanigans accidentally and got hooked on the fun of it and decided to stick around.

Graham over the course of the two seasons earns Ryan’s trust and love, despite the scorn and reluctance shown to him Graham will Not leave Ryan. Everybody leaves Ryan and as the show progresses you see Ryan notice he’s not doing so and let graham in. As this happens Ryan also starts actually picking up some of graham’s traits and emotional intelligence, he learns how to deal with people from graham.

I feel like there are a Lot of themes so far in chibbs era dw but i honestly think they’re going kinda hard on the mental health angle, and graham serves as an example of somebody being on top of their shit, being mentally healthy, and it juxtaposes nicely with a couple of dumpster fires in this era. By that i mean 13 and Yaz. Ryan learns by example, is honest about his feelings and talks about it and doesn’t lash out and in general learns from graham and... Ryan’s in a really good place when he leaves! He suffered the mortifying ideal of being known and he grew up and is happier and healthier and that was graham’s example. Ryan’s had a hard life and grew into a good man and Graham’s love and example has a lot to do with that.

Is that a huge explosive and exciting arc? No. But i don’t have a problem with that, tbh. The all flash no bang doesn’t always play well, he has solid motivation and consistent characterization and grows from somebody not willing to take risks and just wearily conceding to his new sense of adventure to somebody able to optimistically tackle terrifying situations with curiosity and gusto. We know why he's there, we see him get bolder, we see his love for Ryan never ever falter, did he reach some peak of achievement? No. But he also didn't want to leave yet. Oh, unfinished business.

As for Ryan, the coming of age story. As i said, he learnt so much, he learnt to deal maturely with his own trauma and issues to the point where, when 13 accidentally abandons him he is able to intelligently and fairly allow his own feelings on the matter to show but also engage her in an intelligent manner.

He always imo approached this with the air of a kid just after school going travelling? He’s 19, that’s good enough as a reason! He grows up, sees wonders and horrors and learns, and then he realises that he’s left things behind he cares about too. He got caught up in it all and who wouldn’t, but Ryan realises Tebo was suffering and he wasn’t There and he related that to the people who left him and realised, probably his talk with his father factoring in here, that Abandonment doesn’t Have to mean a lack of caring. Sometimes people get caught up in their life or run away because it hurts, and he sees he’s neglected responsibilities and pretty much from There he’s realised he wants to leave, lbr. His talk with Yaz in cyhm? illustrates Ryan was finished by this point and that Yaz wasn’t.

His worst fear wasn’t just that earth could like, die, a la orphan 55, it was that he abandoned the planet to it and wasn’t there! Ryan takes all his abandonment issues and channels them into deciding that he won’t do that and will be responsible! Be it to his friends on earth or to the planet itself. He went from being weighed upon by his issues to acknowledging the complexity and deciding to Not be like that himself! Like, he’s an incredible dude, and he’s gonna save the world, all because he’s a good person who cares. He took his problems and turned them into his strengths and uses them to be better.

As i said... He grows up. And a fine coming of age story it was.

I am not gonna do Yaz. I will be here 8 years and also she’s not done yet and how her story concludes will contextualize the whole thing. Also this is. Long. To the point nobody will read it.

#sapphichymns #dw shit #i am So sorry for the length #i Cut stuff from this lollllllllllll #but also thank u for the brain food i needed the focus rn #dw meta

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leportraitducadavre · 3 years

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Was Naruto an underdog?

Hi there, I was tagged by @sasukesrainbowdildo on a post that talked about the issue of Naruto never been shown as an underdog other than by Kishimoto’s words, proclaiming that it was just bad writing, and that Naruto, surprisingly, was a more than capable shinobi (a genius in his own way). I decided not to respond with my input on that same post because it might be rude, as well as long, and it’s not my desire to start a feud over a stupid thing, so I’m making my own post.

First and foremost, I talked about this post with my friends/mutuals on Discord to see what they thought about the subject here discussed. Most of them agreed with me and all of them provided me with detailed arguments about Naruto’s capability as a ninja. So Kudos for them. I’m just a messenger. In that sense, I will like to link a post by Jaan, my precious Narutopedia -no, seriously, her knowledge of the manga is outstanding- that she did regarding Naruto’s work, so you might want to check it out.

But let’s start with our main subject.

Why do I, someone who proclaims that Naruto had more help than most characters of the show, sustain that Naruto was an underdog? Well, simply put, because Naruto was -at least during the first chapters of the manga-. His control over chakra was bad, he didn’t work hard enough to be praised at least for trying, etc. Naruto was an underdog in the strict term of the word.

It’s established that Naruto failed three times the last part of the exam in order to graduate, he wasn’t able to even create a single functional non-substance replica of himself. Up to that point, the only thing he could do was to henge himself into a woman (his sexy-no jutsu is a variation of the henge, not an original creation, but -if we feel generous to say this-, an original use of the jutsu), and nothing more.

He was the only one who failed, furthermore, he was unremarkable in the sense that he wasn’t a descendant of any prodigious clan -we didn’t know his identity back then- as most of his classmates and was also pushed aside by his own teachers and comrades. He was an underdog in the sense that he was awful as a ninja, and despised by his peers.

Despite his performance against Mizuki, Naruto was still at the bottom of his class, which was the reason why he was paired with Sasuke, the rookie of the year, as to balance the team.

Naruto was an underdog, he started as no-one, the dead last. As for Naruto staying as the dead-last, well no, after Wave it was pretty clear that Naruto stopped being the underdog in Sasuke’s eyes, and later on on the Chünin Exams, he stopped being considered as such by everybody else. Kishimoto did not maintain Naruto as the representation of the underdog (Shuppiden absolutely shattered that conception if some traces of it lingered in the readers’ mind), when Lee was presented. He was the one who took that position so Naruto’s character could grow exponentially alongside Sasuke without breaking Naruto’s essence (which is, the sense of growing by being pushed by love and the bonds he formed).

Is Naruto a skilled shinobi? Well, he’s not tremendously awful, but he’s not as skilled as you might think. Comparing him with Neji or Sasuke is not a fair comparison because both of them are incredibly good at what they do and trained hard for it, while Naruto runs with a little bit more luck, a luck that is named Kurama.

Kage Bunshin no Jutsu

(link)

The Kage Bunshin no jutsu is a kinjutsu created by Tobirama, it’s catalogued as a jönin type of ninjutsu not because it’s complicated to master, but because it is dangerous for the user. The technique divides the user’s chakra so as to give a half of it to the shadow clone, Naruto was able to learn it and master it because his chakra is already divided, thanks to Minato’s seal.

So Naruto original’s stamina is pretty much untouched, his chakra is mixed with Kurama’s that’s leaked to his system thanks to Minato’s seal, which is the primary reason why he can create as much kage bunshins as he does, while other people like Kakashi -who also knows the jutsu- can’t. It’s also the reason why he can get away with wasting this much chakra unlike, for instance, Sakura, who had a more limited amount.

Naruto’s chakra control is abysmal as explained by Ebisu, the reason why he concludes this is because Kakashi gave him the information, an information Kakashi provided after Orochimaru’s seal. Kakashi admits that the reason why Naruto creates more clones than what Sakura or even Sasuke can make, despite being able to control their chakra better, is because he has a lot more stamina to spend.

He literally says that Kurama is the root of Naruto’s enormous pool of stamina, his chakra control is at most average even before Orochimaru sealed Kurama’s chakra, allowing him to walk to the tree or on water. Even Lee -who, let’s remember, can’t do ninjutsu or genjutsu- is able to do it. The reason why Kakashi points out that Kurama might be the reason for Naruto's awful control is because he doesn’t know about Orochimaru’s seal.

Once the seal is fixed, Naruto is able to control his chakra normally. As he did when he climbed the tree. Kurama’s chakra has always been on Naruto’s system because Minato had allowed it to slip and mix with his chakra, so it’s not that Naruto can’t control his chakra properly because of Kurama, but because Orochimaru blocked Kurama’s chakra from leaking.

The Rasengan

Let’s get something straight, Naruto was taught an incomplete technique and he didn’t master it until after the timeskip. The Rasengan, as explained in the image above, it’s a tornado compressed and shaped on his palm in his final form. However, during the first part of the manga, the Rasengan of Naruto consists in chakra manipulation, a technique completely different than Chidori, who uses both chakra form manipulation and nature manipulation (a much more advanced technique to learn when you’re twelve years old).

Also, Tsunade told Naruto he had one week to master the THIRD and final stage of the Rasengan, but he had been training for at least the entire time they were travelling until then.

Prior to this, during the Chünin Exams, Sasuke was in a coma due to Orochimaru’s Cursed Seal, Naruto was forced by Kakashi to look for a new sensei (as Kakashi thought he was more capable of teaching Sasuke, while Ebisu could teach Naruto to control his chakra, despite knowing Naruto mastered tree-climbing during Wave Arc).

Sasuke even escaped the hospital and started his training while not fully recovered and, as I’ve stated before, the Chidori is an extremely complicated technique that requires chakra form and nature manipulation; which makes his accomplishment all the more difficult.

Is Naruto a genius?

No. Let me reiterate: No. Not on the same level as Sasuke or Neji are. Naruto learned the kage bunshin with the guidance of a scroll and the rasengan with Jiraiya. It’s true that Sasuke learns the Chidori thanks to Kakashi, BUT:

He saw Lee’s technique during the first stage of the exam when his body couldn’t keep up with his speed, five days later -after the second stage-, he had mastered it without anyone’s help, after being attacked by multiple teams, and having received Orochimaru’s Cursed Mark.

Neji, on the other hand:

He learned and mastered the techniques of the Hyuga main branch by only watching Hiashi perform them, with no guidance at all.

Did Naruto win against Neji? Yeah, his strategy wasn’t particularly smart, but it was effective so “genius” is… a bold statement. It was more Neji’s fault for underestimating Naruto than Naruto outsmarting him, besides, Neji was fighting with a Kurama enhanced Naruto.

That’s pretty much my input. Naruto was an underdog in the sense that he was the dead last the first few chapters, but after the Wave Arc that characteristic of him is pushed aside in favor of making him unbeliavable stronger, most of his techniques are thanks to Kurama’s influence on his chakra, and he’s not particularly smart on his strategies, that’s why we see almost none of them during the Shippuden. Stating that Naruto is a genius in his own way doesn’t disputes the notion that the manga itself established as what a genius is.

To put it simple: Naruto, in regards of what the manga establish as a genius, is not one. If the reader wants to consider him one, well, that’s subjective, but if you compare him to both Sasuke and Neji, he fails completely to enter into that category.

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years

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Hello! I just found your yt channel (it's amazing) and watched your video on writing diversely. What an awesome video, I learnt and took away a lot from you and your thoughts, especially as a white writer. I am still however a little conflicted on one thing. Not just writing the characters as another race or gender or identity of any kind from the writer, but the actual main character. Would it automatically be offensive and destined for failure for a white author to write a black main protag?

Hi there! I’m happy you found the video helpful, thank you for watching! This is a link to the video if anyone reading this has not watched it.

To be honest, I think I explained this as concisely and accurately as I could in the video as it’s truly the thesis of the video itself. I don’t want to fully reiterate what I said in the video because I feel like I won’t be as accurate/coherent, so I urge you to rewatch the video and take care to look at the timestamps as that may clarify your particular question, first and foremost! Taking a look at some of the comments too might also be helpful.

Stay in your lane as a detrimental, albeit well-intentioned, mantra

As I say in the video, it’s not as easy as saying “white people can’t write XYZ main character” or “we can write whatever we want”, nor is it as easy as and saying “stay in your line” , which may inadvertently enforce the majority as publishing is majorly white (stats are in the video). I believe I did address main characters too in that video, but whatever I said about characters in general 100% applies to POV/main characters as I was rebutting the well-intentioned, but perhaps detrimental idea that it’s only appropriate for a marginalized POV character to be written by someone marginalized in the same way (IMO, long-term, this will cause an influx of white POV stories which is the opposite of the intention [people say “stay in your lane” will allow marginalized folks to represent themselves rather than have white people represent us] as the publishing industry a) is mostly white and b) only seems to care to actively publish white people. “Stay in your lane” may also inadvertently define the role a marginalized person should play in the writing industry [responsible for writing stories about their marginalization]).

Writing POC main characters = automatically offensive/destined to fail?

If you’re viewing or questioning if writing a POC MC is “automatically offensive” or “destined for failure” I really urge you to rewatch the video because this is covered quite extensively but particularly take a look at the “trade fear for empathy” section as this question in itself is laden in a black and white binary of right versus wrong. If you’re asking this question, it might be that you are lacking the empathy to understand what I’m saying in the video (which is okay! there are many others who I’ve further discussed with in the comments). Writing POC isn’t something that’s destined to fail just because you’re a white author IF you do your research, be respectful, write empathetically and craft well-rounded, complex people. If you’re thinking you might automatically fail in this department because you are a white person, I did mention in the video that you may not be ready to write diverse characters in the respectful, robust ways necessary because you may be viewing POC as a “pass or fail” system which is obviously not what we are. If you want to write a diverse POV character and you do your research, write empathetically, speak to those people from that community (with their consent) and be willing to adjust your representation with that feedback without getting defensive, I don’t see how this would be automatically offensive or destined for failure, just like anything else that requires research.

Disproportionate amounts of white versus POC writers being published

In terms of publication failure, white people are actually the ones being majorly represented to write marginalized stories (when they don’t share that marginalization), so you probably wouldn’t have a problem getting a POC-lead story published (not saying I think this is right) because publishers treat diversity as a quota/marketing tactic and IMO, don’t seem to actually care about representation on a structural level, but rather on a topical, superficial level (which is why my main point in that video is that publishers, not individual writers, need to be held accountable).

White writers accidentally “dehumanize” POC in a misguided attempt at being empathetic

I think some white people, (and I don’t exactly want to use this word because it is quite severe but illustrates what I mean) may accidentally “dehumanize” people of colour in worrying that whatever move they’re going to make is automatically going to offend us, when in reality, if you take the time, and put in the effort to research and get to know people of colour (from my comments, these worries often stem from white people who don’t know many people of colour IRL), you will see that yes, we are different from you and difference is good, but no, this difference does not make us an untouchable, unknowable species. I don’t mean to make this seem like an “I don’t see colour” or “the only race is the human race” argument, which would be harmful, but rather a reminder that people of colour are also human beings and as you would write a white character with empathy, integrity, and vigour, you should also do the same when writing characters of colour (I address this in more detail in the video).

Doing personal research in times of confusion

I understand that as a white person, thinking about and understanding these issues may not be particularly easy, and even after a nearly hour long video of me expressing these thoughts, I genuinely do understand why someone who is not affected by these issues daily may still struggle with grasping these concepts. That’s because anti-racism is not something you can accomplish by watching one video, or reading a few articles--it’s a lifelong commitment, and so that’s when you would take your privilege as a white person to do more digging before you ask questions to those who have to expel emotional labour to answer them for you (not saying I have any problem answering your question at all, but putting this out there because there are many well meaning white people who I’ve encountered in my comments that do ask me or other BIPOC questions before turning to other resources that wouldn’t require free labour). Take some time to ruminate with this info, and then do some digging of your own. If you haven’t checked out these, these are my favourite anti-racism resources, all of which are free to access (noted otherwise):

Jane Coaston - The Intersectionality wars

A pretty comprehensive place to start with Kimberle Crenshaw’s theory of Intersectionality

Peggy McIntosh - White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

Wonderful place to start in understanding white privilege for those who don’t understand the differences/nuances between race VS class VS gender privilege etc

Article that explores white privilege beyond McIntosh’s ideas

It’s really important that white people also learn the systemic ways in which they benefit from white privilege and not just the “bandaids are made in my skintone” examples (though those examples are often used first because they’re the easiest to understand for a white person who is affected by other intersections, i.e. class, sexuality, gender, who does not feel they are privileged in other ways i.e. race).

Documentary on white privilege (Jane Elliott’s Brown Eyes VS Blue Eyes experiment)

Angela Davis - How Does Change Happen?

bell hooks - Ending Domination: The Struggle Continues

Abena Busia - In Search of Chains Without Iron: On Sisterhood, History, and the Politics of Location

I was able to access this reading through my university but IMO it is a must-read, especially for non-POC who may not fully understand the privilege of whiteness.

Claire Heuchan - Your Silence Will Not Protect You: Racism in the Feminist Movement

**Absolute must-read: “The theory did not emerge in order to aid white women in their search for cookies – it was developed predominantly by Black feminists with a view to giving women of colour voice (Heuchan).”

Tamela J. Gordon - Why I’m giving up on intersectional feminism

Powerful perspective on Intersectionality and how it’s been used in white feminism

Jennifer L. Pozner - How to Talk About Racism, Sexism and Bigotry With Your Friends and Family

Really good place to start if you have loved ones in need of education.

Maria Lugones - Playfulness, “World”-Travelling, and Loving Perception

This is the absolute crux of my points in writing empathetically.

"The paper describes the experience of 'outsiders' to the mainstream of, for example, White/Anglo organization of life in the U.S. and stresses a particular feature of the outsider's existence: the outsider has necessarily acquired flexibility in shifting from the mainstream construction of life where she is constructed as an outsider to other constructions of life where she is more or less 'at home.' This flexibility is necessary for the outsider but it can also be willfully exercised by the outsider or by those who are at ease in the mainstream. I recommend this willful exercise which I call "world"-travelling and I also recommend that the willful exercise be animated by an attitude that I describe as playful" (Lugones 3).

^^^ For writers struggling with the prospect of diversity and trying to find a place to start in what I call in my video "letting go of fear and voraciously welcoming empathy" I highly recommend this article as it is a powerful account of travelling across each other's "worlds". Read it for free with a free JStor account or through your institution, like your public library.

How to BLACK: An Analysis of Black Cartoon Characters

A FANTASTIC video that is an absolute must-watch (covers writing empathetically, writing with care)

If you have not already, read through the sources I used to formulate and argue my thesis in my video (much more detailed than I could do in an hour!):

Corinne Duyvis (ownvoices creator) on # ownvoices

CCBC - "Publishing Statistics on Children's/YA Books about People of Color and First/Native Nations and by People of Color and First/Native Nations Authors and Illustrators"

Hannah Heath - "5 Problems Within the Own Voices Campaign (And How to Fix Them)"

Saadia Faruqi - "The Struggle Between Diversity and Own Voices"

Kat Rosenfield (Refinery29) - "What is # ownvoices doing to our books?"

Lee and Low - "Diversity Baseline Survey 2019 Results"

Vulture - "Who Gave You the Right To Tell That Story"

School Library Journal - "An Updated Look at Diversity in Children's Books"

TL;DR: if you’re more overcome with the fear of offending people (often grounded in white fragility) instead of making the active, albeit sometimes uncomfortable, decision to do the hard work necessary to empathetically represent someone outside of your marginalization in fiction, I don’t think you’re ready to write POC in the nuanced, complex, empathetic ways necessary for good representation, and I would encourage you do more independent anti-racist work. (Note that “you” is not individualistically aimed at the asker!!)

Questions like this don’t necessarily have a clear-cut answer, and that is essentially the point of my video (I know, not super helpful, but I hope that makes sense!).

Hope this helps!

--Rachel

#asks #writing

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asaflowerblossoms · 2 years

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sorry, this is kind of long~

hi! im a sophomore in college hoping to start my classes for a minor in music over the summer. im kind of nervous about this because i only play one instrument (violin) and haven’t touched it in about a year or so because my sound post and bridge snapped and i haven’t had the time or funds to get it fixed or by a new instrument. in high school i took ap music theory and ended up switching out of the class bc i *thought* i was failing (really i think the instructor was just difficult bc i got a ‘C’ as my final grade and switched just before the ap test). but, i say all of this to say that i LOVE music, i love playing it and learning about it, but i have never felt like a musician because im not at the same level as my peers even though i will have been playing for 11 years in may. as both teacher and musician what would be your advice on going into music at the collegiate level with such concerns? i don’t really have anyone to talk with about this bc my advisors are no help but like i said, i love music and playing but i feel kind of stuck because i feel like my concerns are like, major ones??

I'd say you have one major concern and a few I wouldn't worry about. The major one is your violin. Only playing one instrument is no big deal, most classical musicians do, but that instrument needs to be working. Resetting a sound post is not an easy fix, but the bridge shouldn't be an issue for a decent repairman. I would get that fixed as soon as possible so you can start practicing again. It'll cost money, but like, that's a must.

The theory stuff is not a big deal at all. Most music majors go into college with 0 knowledge of music theory. You may have to take some classes that cover material you already know, but that's not the end of the world and you'll get an easy A. I'd say that university music programs care mostly about... Well, music. You can have an A in music theory and a 5 on the AP test, but you won't get in if you can't play your instrument. Your top priority is to get back into a practice routine ASAP. Review major and minor scales, some etudes, excerpts, and a couple extended pieces for your audition (and for 99% of university music programs, even minors need to audition). And with a year off from playing, start slow. Your hands have forgotten a lot of muscle memory, focus on sound and technicality first and foremost.

One thing I tell all of my students, and this is gonna sound a little harsh: Loving music is great, but to be honest with you most people love music. Do you know what separates normal music lovers from people who study music professionally? In order to succeed as a music minor, you have to love music unconditionally. There are days you won't want to practice, and you need to have the discipline to do it anyway. There are days where you won't want to research the difference between middle ages composers, and days you don't care why 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence is considered a great piece of music. But you have to want to, and you have to care. That's the lifestyle. That's the path to success. You mentioned being behind your peers, but the path to improvement is not a race. I wasn't the most talented sax player in my studio, but I was the only one in my class who graduated. It's about work ethic.

I wish you the best of luck! To me there is nothing worthier of study, no nobler pursuit, and nothing more fundamentally human than music. Even as a music minor, you're joining a tradition that stems back to before the dawn of humanity. Please reach out if you'd like any more advice.

#music asks

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rachelbethhines · 4 years

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Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzel and the Great Tree Part 1

We’re now finally at the mid-season finale of season two, and it’s easily the best episode of this season. That however doesn’t mean that it’s not flawed, so here we go...

Summary: The group makes it to the Great Tree, only to be confronted by a new adversary: Hector, the brother of Adira, the most dangerous member of the Brotherhood; sworn to keep all from reaching the Dark Kingdom. Despite all that has happened, Rapunzel is determined to continue on toward the Dark Kingdom to uncover the truth behind her destiny. As they navigate through the Great Tree, Rapunzel discovers the Moonstone incantation which overwhelms the magical powers of the Sundrop in her blonde hair and causes injury and weakness to those around her.

The Brotherhood Is Such a Wasted Concept

We have a group of highly trained warriors, directly connected to the series main macguffin, who consider each other siblings, who all have conflicting goals, and they’re all severely underdeveloped to the point of ridiculousness.

For starters, in a show all about pushing sibling rivalries as parallels to the two main characters, it utterly fails to show the only other siblings who are actually connected to the plot acting like actual siblings.

Adira and Hector should be a parallel to Cass and Rapunzel in this very episode. One that actually ties into the narrative, yet outside of calling each other brother/sister/brethren they don’t act like family; even feuding family. Adira also fails to treat Quirin, Varian, Edmund, and Eugene as family. She shows no real concern for any of them despite saving her home (which would included her family) from the rocks being her main goal. She should be just as every bit as invested in saving Quirin as Varian. Which is yet another reason why Varian should have been S2 and another entry point for him in the show’s plot.

As for the rest of the Brotherhood, they never even interact at all. I don’t think anyone tells either Edmund or Hector what has happened to Quirin or Varian. And Edmund clearly didn’t inform Hector of Eugene, even though he logically should have. And did any of them know if Edmund was alive, despite Edmund having the means to communicate with the outside world with the crows?

What we’re left with is a bunch of holes in the story, because there’s now a bunch of holes in everyone’s motivations and their actions never quite line up.

And before you say, ‘well they’re not that important’, or ‘they’re aren’t meant to be a real family’; then that is in of itself a flaw because they should be. Not making them found family undermines Raps and Cass being found family, as it undermines every other sibling parallel in the show, and those parallels are the only build up we have to the sister reveal in S3.

It also undermines the moonstone plot and the whole reason why season two exists. Don't introduce things that connect back to your story and not make them important. In fact don't introduce unimportant elements in a plot driven show like this period.

Another Indication of the Timeline

As stated before, Tangled is really bad at indicating the passage of time, despite the passage of time being a big plot point. We’re now a ‘few months’ past the island, which itself was 6 weeks, and before that it was several weeks to maybe even a few months before getting to the island...

So when does this take place? Well we were told that season two takes place over the course of a year by the creator, and that this is the mid-season finale so 6 months since SotSD sounds the most plausible. We also see fall trees dotted around like we did during the first half of season one. Which is the only visual indicator we get of changing seasons in the show, but it’s too understated to be properly noticeable most of the time.

However, the crew themselves can’t even seem to agree if Rapunzel’s Return is her birthday or not, so if you’ve heard conflicting sources, it’s because this shit wasn’t planned properly first. But all dialogue and visual cues point to the first half of season two being at least 4 to 6 months. With 6 being the most logical placement.

Just a Reminder, that Hook Foot Is Still Useless

If all you were going to have him do is whine like a child during the only plot important episode that he is in, then why not just replace him with an actual child?

It takes more work to leave Varian out of season two and force Hook Foot in his place, than it does just to write Varian in. There were so many potential entry points for his character, that the one they would up going with was the least natural to the characters and the story they were trying to tell. And even then, the Saporian take over they went with could still have worked had they handled things properly and pre-planned that stuff out.

But they didn’t. By all accounts S2 was a hasty re-write to get rid of Varian and Hook Foot was shoehorned in as his replacement at the last minute. And it’s the most utterly baffling creative decision I have ever witnessed in my life. There was zero logical reason for it.

This Plot Point Wasn’t Built Up Enough and It Goes Nowhere

Look, had they actually pointed out that Cass is a bodyguard now, and that this line from Raps threatens her career goals, that would make sense; or they could have explored the idea that Cass’s identity revolves around her job, and so feeling like her job is pointless makes her feel pointless therefore making her feel insecure about her future. Either of those would have been interesting jumping off points for her character arc and later conflicts.

But that’s not what they did.

I think that’s what they were initially trying to go for here, but it got muddled in the mess that was last minute rewrites.

Cass obtaining her goals in season one is ignored in favor of a bland and vague validation goal from this point onwards. Her issues with Rapunzel are then boiled down to be about; not identity, agency, class, or wanting a future, but into fighting over a dead mom and how one wasn’t ‘loved enough’ apparently. Which makes no sense given what we know of Cass from previous seasons.

Cassandra isn’t deep or complex; she is convoluted. The writing team couldn’t agree on what her goals and motivations should be, and so she performs conflicting actions throughout the story that actively undermines what was previously established and what she supposedly wants.

Most people who try to defend the writing for Cassandra do so with this idea that because they had to work hard to ‘connect the dots’ for all these seemingly disconnected plot ideas, means that of course the writing is ‘deep’ but that’s ignoring one of the basic fundamentals of writing.

The audience shouldn’t have to do the writer’s job!

Having to think about a story doesn’t mean that you need to go digging around for basic information like the character’s goals or what happened when. A writer’s job is to first and foremost clearly communicate ideas to their audience. Plot and character analysis is about finding extras like, metaphors, moral messages, and coming up with fun headcanons that don't impact the wider story. Because all of the bare bones information needed to understand the story should already be there for everyone to see.

If you gotta go into ‘analysis’ just explain the damn plot and why things are unfolding the way they do, then the story is badly written. Full stop.

Cinderella wanting to go to the ball is a simple goal, but it’s an understandable one that anyone watching can grasp. You could go into a deeper analysis about abuse and what the ball symbolises for Cinderella’s character or how the story is an analogy for wider social issues at large, but at the end of the day everyone needs to be in agreement that, yes, Cinderella wants to go to the ball and we know why she wants to go, so that her actions in trying to get there make sense.

No one knows what Cassandra wants. Cassandra herself doesn’t know what she wants. So the ‘why’ part for what she does is never answered.

Hector Is Wasted

As already stated, all of the Brotherhood is wasted, but Hector more so than most. Season two desperately needed an ongoing threat, a main antagonist to push the story forward. Hector should have been that antagonist. Instead he shows up for this one episode, and then in a few non-speaking cameos in S3.

Then Why Not Just Stay With Them Adira?

We’re never given an actual reason for why Adira keeps leaving the group, and indeed doing so conflicts with her stated goal of getting Rapunzel safely to the moonstone. It’s just shoehorned in here to create ‘mystery’, but mysteries have to be answered at some point. You can’t throw something in for drama’s sake and not explain why it’s there.

Lance’s Crush on Adira Isn’t Handled Well

Look, this isn’t a judgment upon those who ship the characters. When I talk about relationships in the show I’m only talking about how well they are written on screen. I couldn’t care less what the fans do with them.

Even when I discuss my personal preferences for ships, that is all that is, my personal preference. I don't give a shit if you ship something that I may dislike, or if you hate something that I do enjoy. I’m a grown up with more important things to do than worry over what a bunch strangers may write on A03 about a bunch of fictional characters, and as someone who hates bullies above all else, I’ll defend your right to make whatever content to want to because censorship is just a form of bullying and nothing else.

No matter how gross or reprehensible I may personally find it. Different stories resonate with different people and for different reasons. I may debate your reasons, if the subject comes up, or critique professional media for the messages it puts out to the wider public, but I’ll never say you can’t like it or that you can’t make it.

So with that stated, I don’t like Lance’s dynamic with Adira in the show and here’s my reasons for that.

She doesn’t ever return the feelings.

At best she tolerates him, at worse she actively kicks his butt when he gets too close, and most of the time she ignores him. Which is for good reason; she’s old enough to be his mom. Why would she be attracted to him?

Like I’m not saying that age gaps between adults are inherently wrong; I’m saying that if there is a significant age gap then you really have to work hard to build up a reason for why the two characters would go for each other when naturally they wouldn’t be in each other’s usual sphere of dating options. Which the series never does because once again Adira is clearly not interested in him.

This leads to Lance basically being an annoying ‘nice guy’ who can’t take a hint. Like constantly badgering someone who doesn’t want you to isn’t charming or endearing, and Lance is old enough to know this by now.

Basically the writers just took the Varian and Cassandra dynamic from Great Expotations and slapped it onto Lance and Adira despite the fact that it made zero sense for their characters. Lance isn’t a lonely teen who desperately wants to fit in and make a connection with someone. He’s not out to prove that he is mature, nor mistakenly believes himself to be an equal to the only other girl in the kingdom that has ever talked to him that isn’t already married/seriously dating and still living at home. Adira never comes around to considering Lance a trusted friend and confidante after shoving nearly everyone else away. She doesn’t seek out his help or approval, nor tries to build him up with compliments, ect, and so forth.

Now, I dislike the Cass and Varian ship for many, many reasons, but as they are presented on screen in the Great Expo it makes sense for why Varian would at first have an unrequited crush on her. Now after that QfaD he logically shouldn’t ever want anything to do with her but we’ll get to that later. That’s not the case with Lance and Adira; they’re both too old for such a dynamic.

To add on to the weird factor, they’re both related to Eugene. Adira is technically Eugene’s aunt, even if she never acts like it. Lance is also the closest thing to a brother Eugene has. They don’t recognize each other as such, so if you want to say their just friends or ship them or whatever, there’s wiggle room. But the end effect is like Maya in Girl Meets World crushing on her best friend’s, Riley’s, Uncle Josh. Only even with less basis, and it wasn’t that great there either.

Why Do you Suddenly Not Trust Adira Cass?

Forest of No Return was all about establishing trust in Adira, including with Cass at the end, so why the sudden back track? Especially since Adira hasn’t done anything but been honest with them, and has saved their butts several times now. All this does is make Cassandra look like an ass, which you don't need to be doing if you want the audience to side with her later on in the story.

Everyone Now Knows Quirin is a Part of the Brotherhood, So There’s No Excuse For Later

It’s an odd way to state that fact, but yeah, both Cass and Raps are told directly that Quirin is in the Brotherhood, and Lance, Eugene, and Hookfoot are also present and presumably listing to this exchange. So no one in S3 has an excuse to ignore this plot point until the finale.

This Backstory Goes Nowhere

Adira launches into this story about Zhan Tiri, Demanitus, and the Great Tree and literally none of it actually matters. It’s never brought up again after this episode. We never get any insight into why they were fighting, how Zhan Tiri corrupted a tree, what significance the tree has outside of being really big and holding some scrolls, nor how the scrolls got there, why the tree is still connect to Zhan Tiri hundreds of years later, nor how Demanitus magic spear works or what it even does exactly.

Don’t introduce lore and then don't have it mean anything.

Why Do you Care, Cass?

Cassandra isn’t a lady-in-waiting anymore. We’ve already established that back in Secret of the Sun Drop and in Beyond the Corona Walls. So why should she care if Adira calls her one? Adira isn’t from Corona. Adira isn’t in charge of anything. Cassandra doesn’t even like her, so Adira’s opinion shouldn’t matter.

This whole season we’ve seen Cass treat Adira like shit, but apparently we’re supposed to feel sorry for her when she can’t take clap back for all the grief she’s given. Is she really so immature that she can’t just ignore a petty insult for what it is? Why does she have to behave so insecure that she will jeopardize the mission or someone’s life over it? This is the deuteragonist I’m suppose to root for and relate to? I mean she’s twenty three for goodness sake! Grow the hell up woman!

Also while we on the subject, a royal guard and a lady-in-waiting are both servants. There’s no distinction between the two beyond what duties they perform, and that would be the case regardless of what job Cass had. Rapunzel’s a princess, everyone is her servant. That’s how the class system works, and by all means Cassandra enjoys more privilege than most people in Corona. She’s the Captain’s daughter, was granted next in line for that position in SotSD, and lady-in-waiting means to the princess means she’s above all the other maids except for Crowley and Friedberg. Cass may hate her job, but she hasn’t room to complain when Faith is right there and has things much worse.

In short making Cass suddenly indignant over being treated as lower class when she didn’t give a crap about the likes of Attila, Caine, Varian, Eugene, Lance, ect... just makes her look like a hypocrite.

The Other Reason to Dislike Lance’s Crush is That It Hinders His Development

Lance’s arc is that he’s suppose to learn to be more responsible. This episode in particular is suppose address his habit of lying... only it doesn’t. We get no real resolvement on this point. We also never see Lance progress enough to give up on Adira and stop pursuing her even when it’s directly pointed out to him that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. So in the end he still remains immature and irresponsible.

Though this conversation just proves that Eugene and Lance still have the healthiest relationship in the show. They’re about to disagree or call each other’s bullshit without resorting to insults or getting violent, which is more than what any relationship involving Cass does.

Questions With No Answers

We never learn why these scrolls are here, why they have the incantations on them and upon the wall, we don’t know who translated them, nor who came up with the incantations in the first place.

This is all important info that he series glosses over, because unlike the moonstone and sundrop, the incantations are things that someone had to have made at some point, and they could only have made them by studying what our plot macguffins are and how they work. Since the incantations are things that are also sought after by the big bad along with the magical objects, then we need to know how the big bad knows about them when no one else does. How they came about.

Which is yet another reason why we needed a magic system in place.

This Song is Catchy, But It Doesn’t Need To Exist

In a musical a song needs to either establish the plot, build the world, or further the characters. This song does none of those things, it’s not needed for Lance and Eugene’s relationship, it doesn’t actually resolve Lance’s plot as he is high when he apologizes for lying, and it wasn’t needed to established the man eating plant. I honestly think this song only exists so that the animators could just reuse assets they built to save on money.

The Hurt Incantation Is the Coolest Thing In the Show! Shame It’s Not Utilized Well

People are suckered into this show by one of three things usually, ‘Let Me Make You Proud Reprise’, ‘Ready As I’ll Ever Be’, or this scene.

It’s shocking, powerfull, and a really, really awesome concept. It’s one of the best scenes in the show, and an interesting idea that offers up a lot of story possibilities.

Possibilities that’ll never actually be explored on screen. The hurt incantation isn’t useless, it does affect the plot, but it’s not used effectively. There was so much you could have done with this but it’s then never explored. Characters outright forget its existence even when they have no reason to, or it’s used to do things that should have been accomplished in other ways. It’s also never fully explained or expanded upon. They couldn’t even bother to give it more than one verse.

All of the incantations are mishandled in this show, but the hurt incantation is the one that has the biggest let down.

Conclusion

So that ends part 1, join me tomorrow for part 2.

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #anti-tangled #anti-cassandra #hector #the brotherhood #lance #adira

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hotforhandman · 4 years

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Are the Villains “right”?

Okay, so I was scrolling through the bnha spoilers tag whilst procrastinating work and I’m really not living for the vibes there. My biggest issues fall into two main camps: “this arc is going to be the end of the League”, and “Villain stans are hypocrites with no reading comprehension for condemning the Heroes’ behaviour”, and I believe both of these statements can be addressed simultaneously, whilst also giving me a convenient excuse to not write. So without further ado,

Part 1: Themes

Right from the very beginning of the series, literally the first line, one thing is made blatantly clear: This series is not going to be about good guys and bad guys. “All men are not created equal” is not a line that implicates an inherent divide between good and evil, unless you’re an actual eugenicist. And pretty much every important character is designed to criticise a different aspect of the established system.

Izuku: The Quirkless are worthless. Not explicitly, but... everyone knows it.

Bakugou: If you have a good Quirk, you are praised and treated as special, and as a consequence you’re never expected to learn and grow as a person.

Shoto: Dedicating your entire life to becoming strong to the detriment of your own health is the best way to climb to the top.

All Might: You don’t have to worry about anything. A Hero will save you.

Shinsou: If you have a Villain’s Quirk, you’re going to be a Villain, no matter the quality of your personality.

Kirishima: If you’re not flashy, there’s no point even trying.

Hawks: Similar to Shoto, if you show natural promise then it’s acceptable to groom you as a weapon.

I’m sure there are others that I’ve missed. Each of these characters’ individual developments have been focused around them overcoming these ingrained ideas and growing and succeeding despite them - with the exception, perhaps, of Hawks. So if several of the major Hero characters are designed to illustrate and criticise the established system, what about the villains? I guess if the Heroes are stories about people succeeding despite what the world tells them, then the Villains are stories about what happens when they don’t.

Spinner: Mutants are second-class citizens and should be treated as such.

Toga: If your Quirk is considered to be bad or gross, then you should be punished for wanting to use it.

Twice: The world won’t make space for your special needs.

Magne: If you don’t fit the mould of what people want you to be, you won’t be respected.

And Shigaraki: It’s not our responsibility to help you. If you weren’t saved, that must mean you’re not worth saving.

The one thing that both the Heroes and the Villains have in common is that they are tools to show the audience the flaws in BNHA’s society. It’s canon that Quirks appeared suddenly, and though by the time BNHA is set in, society has tried to adapt to fit it and is making some progress towards being functional, it’s clear that it has a long, long way to go, because it’s failing so many people. (Draw some parallels to real life, hm?). BNHA’s overarching themes of individual worth not being more important than collective good and how rules and structure created in good will can result in a lot of pain and abuse are, first and foremost, exemplified in the characters themselves. I like to tell people who find Shigaraki’s motivations vague and uncompelling that Shigaraki doesn’t need to have a point, he is the point, and this is exactly the reason why.

I also believe that this is primarily why for Horikoshi to end the League here would be, frankly, terrible writing. We have engaged with the LOV more than pretty much any other Shonen villain group I can think of, almost any villain group at all. We’ve seen them develop as much as we’ve seen the heroes develop, especially in Shigaraki’s case, and to have Shigaraki only be their ‘first-year villain’ or whatever would be disrespectful, wasteful, and thematically inappropriate. To have a more classic, pre-developed villain whose villainy seems to stem from some inherent evil characteristic like AfO or Overhaul would ultimately defeat the story of how the worst villains are created by flaws in the system, not born.

Part 2: Fan Response

Sometimes I can’t believe I still have to reiterate this to people, but it is possible to stan a character whilst simultaneously recognising that they are flawed, often critically so. When did we move from adoring villains to saying if you like this character you must be an inherently bad person because of this list of bad things they did?

The thing is that the vast majority of ‘opinions’ on fan blogs are... poorly thought out and shallow, to put it lightly. When it’s 2am and I’m answering an ask about my opinions on x plot point, it’s not gonna be well thought out and thoroughly researched. I’m probably a bit tipsy, kind of tired, and just typing out whatever my initial response is. And really, if I reblog a bit of art with the caption ‘Shigaraki did nothing wrong’, do you really think I’m being serious? A lot of what we say is hyperbolic and meant to either be funny or to evoke an emotion, not because we actually believe it.

That being said, the League in particular, I believe, resonates with a lot of people in the current political climate. A group of outcasts with characteristics considered undesirable by the wider population coming together and genuinely caring about one another whilst they aim to completely eradicate the system that hurt them? As an angry, marginalised leftist in a society that seems increasingly determined to wipe my chances at a good life out without blinking an eye, hell yeah that resonates with me. Being able to crumble the cripplingly complex and morally vile system I live in to dust and starting over is one hell of an appealing power fantasy. Does that mean I think murder is okay? Obviously not. It’s a fantasy. If there’s one place where I can live out those fantasies without consequences, it’s here. In fiction. And so it seems really stupid to me to be confronted with the idea that if I like a fictional violent radical I’m accused of condoning murder and kidnapping.

Part 3: Are the Heroes right?

So a lot of the posts I saw that aggravated me were framed like 'how can the villain stans think Miruko and Gran Torino's behaviour is worse than Shigaraki's?', but like... who was saying that?

I feel like certain people's views of the heroes versus villains debate falls under the same fallacies as a lot of political arguments- that is to say, if I'm criticising one side, I must be defending the other. Which is... just blatantly untrue. When we say that the heroes' consistent dehumanisation of a man who is, first and foremost, a victim of significant grooming and abuse throughout his life, is gross and cruel, and that this attitude is mirrored in an awful lot of the hero-villain interactions implying a certain level of empathetic alienation and lack of accountability, we're not saying they shouldn't be trying to take Shigaraki down. Of course they should, he's going to decimate hundreds of thousands of innocent lives. But, like, does that mean they're exempt from all criticism? Should we be excusing the cruel and dismissive attitudes of the heroes and ignoring the behaviours of their side that lead to further 'villainisation' of marginalised people just because they're responsible for saving lives? No. Because once again, one of the key themes of BNHA is that neither side is perfect, and neither side is right.

Mass murder is wrong. So is systemic cruelty towards the oppressed. You don't have to approve of one to criticise the other. So next time you see one of those posts and jump to the conclusion that villain stans have no reading comprehension, pls remember these points.

Anyway, that's my little rant. Sorry.

Tl;dr, villain stans aren't stupid or glorifying murder, we're just capable of criticising more than one type of bad behaviour.

#league of villains #bnha

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dangan-happy · 3 years

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[KAME-HAME-FORGET ABOUT IT!] To Hajime, Hiro or Taka:

So... I started college today and I already feel nervous. I mean, the classes seem cool and all, but honestly I can't help but think that I'll end up failing no matter what. I didn't do great in my last years of highschool because of trauma surrounding schools/teachers and I actually didn't want to go to university at all, but my parents forced me to do it so here I am. And it's not a cheap one either- so I'm going to drown in guilt if I make my parents even more money than needed because I have to do an extra year or something. I know it's a bit early to be so afraid but... Idk. I'm still worried. Can I get a hug or maybe a forehead kiss?

Hey there, anon. I can understand your situation here; college is always a easy and common cause to making someone nervous. Still, your worry here is valid, but I shall cut through your words first and foremost!

I hate to hear that your parents forced you to go. Sure, one can say that college is important and whatnot, but by the end of the day, it’s ultimately your decision to choose what you want to do. And if college wasn’t something you wanted to do, then let the water flow under the bridge and do your own thing... o-or however that saying goes. Anyway, while the fear of failure is valid and pretty relatable, I have hope that you won’t fail! I have hope that you’ll succeed, one way or another! Like stated, your worry is valid, but so is your trauma surrounding schools and teachers, so just know that I acknowledge and respect that, anon. And honestly, it’s not necessarily a bit early to be afraid; anxiety is anxiety and trauma is trauma, through and through, no matter how one may try to put it. So while it may be hard right now, and while you may be potentially feeling despair, do not let this despair win! You can get through this. That is the truth of this case.

A-Ah, wait, a-are you asking for a hug and a forehead kiss? I-I mean, I know you asked for either one or the other, b-but I’m in a good mood, and I can tell you’re really going through a lot, s-so I’ll give you both a hug and a forehead kiss. U-Unless you actually don’t want any of those now, then that’s totally fine! But, um, if you still do, then I’ll give you both. J-Just remember what I told you and to take care of yourself, okay?

It’s quite alright anon, college is definitely a step towards a bright future. The place where you’ll climb to reach greater heights and accomplish anything you set your mind to. It sounds like a lot, but don’t fear, I will do my utmost best to comfort you.

I’d like to advise you something when it comes to college. In my experience, I’ve seen many burn out from the number of units they take per semester. Some students go beyond overboard when it comes to taking units and often bite off more than they can chew. That leads to breaking down, stress, and burning out. And burn out is a feeling that can last an awful long time I can also guess that making your way towards the counselors office to drop a class is a bit embarrassing.

It’s never too early to be scared, believe me, I have a fear of failing as well. It keeps me paralyzed if I were to get overwhelmed. Take some time to relax, I would hate for you to become prone to stress.

A hug and a forehead kiss will be given to you, please take care anon.

—

Yo! Not really much I can say that Hinata and Taka didn't clear up, but I got some advice!

Don't stress yourself out! Way easier said than done, I know, but take breaks when ya need them. Motivational issues are seriously a big struggle for people, so it's best to pace yourself at a speed that works for ya. Taka said something about trying not to bite off more than ya could chew, and I wholeheartedly agree! Ya don't wanna be left with a crap-ton of work, haha! What I'm tryna say is, pace yourself and take breaks when ya need to. It's worth the relaxation, dude.

You can totally get a hug and a kiss on the cheek! Stay strong, anon, you got this.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #hajime hinata #kiyotaka ishimaru #mod hajime #mod man of morals #Yasuhiro Hagakure #mod sea urchin

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tekka-dan · 3 years

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How I managed to play the fuck out of my boss and shitty job with a twinge of salt:

Basically here’s what happened: I got my second formal write up for blamings the company needed to pin on somebody. And who else to chose other than the hardest working employee whose never complained, called in or made a fuss about anything?

With that being the case I raised my voice in that meeting to make sure the witness heard my grievances with my manager as well. When she started taking notes, so did I.

I’m not about to be bitten and not bite back. I’ll do it with class though.

First and foremost let me break down what my job / title is.

I am receptionist. I answer the phones, I schedule appoints, I manage co workers, clients and doctors all while dealing with emails, a digital work list, checking in and out patients, filling prescriptions and other duties that apply.

That’s not a lot but for some people it is. I love being productive and I love showing I’m a reliable and capable worker, with rarely anyone complaints.

My managers first grievance with me:

1. I answer the phone too quickly.

My rebuttal to this to her [and the witness] was:

“I understand that it’s within my job duty to answer the phone timely and efficiently, as that’s apart of my daily routine and I do it consistently.”

Her response was:

“It’s just that you don’t give your co workers the chance to step up. Perhaps if you stop answering the phone, you could do your other duties better.”

My response:

“You’re right. The times which your pointed out I’ve made mistakes I can tell you when they happen. When I work with [co workers name] I notice they aren’t as efficient and aren’t willing to do tasks as quickly as me. So this means when doctors come to us with orders and they approach her and she turns them away, they basically have no one else to come to except me, the only other person on the floor. And I’m also busy. However I take what they give me as priority because that’s also apart of my duties and in turn I have to sideline my other duties.”

Notice how I didn’t blame shift. My manager gave me a grievance and an issue to which I explained why those issues happen and how she could step up as manager to fix them. Instead she says this:

“You could always talk to that person who you’re finding it difficult to work with.”

My manager whose entire job is to manage just told me basically deal with my issues of another person on my own.

2. She pins the blame of something on me that had nothing to do with me.

A client communicated he was going to drop off a stool sample at a certain time. I recorded that in the file and informed my co workers. I had an early leave this day so I made sure the others knew. The client did proceed to come in after my departure and left the sample. I come in the next day and the blame falls onto me why the client was never notified about the results and why the cost of the sample wasn’t collected at drop off.

My manager:

“We noticed that you documented [clients name] was going to drop off at a certain time and to collect payment. However he was never told the results of the sample and payment was never collected. Why is that?”

My response was:

“So you’re telling me it’s my fault the results were relayed to the owner and the payment wasn’t collected at the time of drop off when I wasn’t here?”

My manager:

“I’m just trying to follow up on who dropped the ball and the starting person was you.”

My response:

“I fail to understand my fault here. I need more understanding otherwise this sounds like you’re just trying to pin the blame on me. Is there anything else you have a complaint about?”

So the resolve of that matter was basically bevause the other co worker was off that day, it needed to be put on someone and that someone needed to be me. Despite the fact I was literally not physically present when the aftermath happened and it was still something they tried blaming me for.

3. My manager told me I filled a medication wrong and at check out the client was angry about it.

So apart of my duties is filling medications and preventions for dogs and cats daily. I do this while doing other tasks too. Sometimes things get a little flustered but I try keeping my cool during these times.

A client requested a refill on her dogs prevention through email. I got the request, noticed in our system the dog was 9.8lbs. So I filled the prevention for 0-10lbs because that’s where he’s classified. I then notified the owner back through email what size and how many I pulled aside for her pet.

I wasn’t present when she picked it up but my manager was. Apparently the woman wanted the 10lbs+ range and she was aggravated she did not have it.

My manger to me:

“So you filled the prescription wrong because her pet was 9.8lbs and you filled up to 10lbs when she wanted the 10lb and over.”

My response:

“Are you telling me that because I filled a prescription for a pet in our system for the appropriate weight range, but the owner wanting the higher dose at check out without previous knowledge, that I filled it wrong? That I didn’t follow protocol? Please help me understand that.”

My manager:

“Yes. The owner requested the higher dose at check out and because you filled the size she didn’t want, it was wrong.”

My response:

“Where was it notated that we still the higher dose for her? Where could I have found that information?”

My manager:

“Well it was only at check out, so I’m not sure if I can answer your question properly.”

At this point the witness said nothing and the witness isn’t anyone I even work directly with so it’s not like she could back me up or say anything substantial. At this point however I realized what this was and I retained my sense of ease and just sighed heavily as she went over correction coaching with me.

I signed the papers but it’s taking every ounce in me to not have dishes her my two weeks right then and there.

Why? Because I need this job while I await my approval for an apartment. I need to not let my emotions take over.

However, I didn’t leave without giving her a peace of my mind.

Me to my manager:

“Can I offer some constructive feed back?”

Manager:

“Sure.”

My last retort:

“I just think it’s funny how you only ever have a problem with me. These same things you’ve gone over with me here I have seen the others make the same mistakes and never once have they been corrected or reprimanded. In fact this write up is my second one for mistakes that weren’t my fault and I recall the first being the same way. Now I’m going to add some tips for you: you’re accusing a great and solid worker of things that make blatantly no sense and when I give you rebuttals you offer no reprieve about how YOU as a manager are going to handle it, instead all you do is shift blame. You asked me how are these things going to be fixed and where the issue was and I told you and you offered no evidence you’re going to make sure I succeed in my position any further. I understand why we are here today but I’m not going to sign these papers. In fact I’m going to ponder if I want to continue having a future with this company on my own time. Until you can follow up with actions to help me succeed then I’m afraid my two weeks is effective immediately. Also, I’ll be writing a review for your manager to follow up on your duties that you’ve severely lacked in since I’ve started here May 8th, 2020. I hope you have a great rest of your day, I’ll return on Friday with hopefully some follow up answers.”

Anyway I am searching for a new job but I hate that they made me feel like total shit at this one and I don’t deserve that treatment.

I also wholeheartedly believe it’s race induced considering I’m the only black worker and I’m the only one she has issues with. She raises her voice with me, says things in a demeaning or condescending way and I was raised to basically not act of character and so my response was always “Alright, I’ll make sure to work on that for next time. Thanks for the insight.” And she would get hella angry about that.

Like bitch you’re coming at me sideways and I handle it with grace and it makes you mad? Go kick rocks.

Anyway I wanted to vent. Now I’m going to take a walk, apply for new jobs and check in on the apartment status. I still have a life to live and losing shit job won’t stop me from living it.

#personal #danis rants

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trulisthetic · 4 years

Note

I had a bad day today. I did something stupid and got in an online argument with someone who told me that Jim and Pam were an unhealthy couple. I told her why I don't think that's the case without insulting her and got shot down anyway. What would you make of it?

This turned into a monster-post. Oops.

First and foremost, I’m really sorry that you had a bad day. My understanding is that that “someone” wasn’t very kind and respectful to you even though you were towards them. You know, the internet is such a wild place. Under the cover of online profiles we create for ourselves we sometimes act in ways we wouldn’t in real life. We forget that there is an actual person on the other end and not a heartless machine. And being on the receiving end of that... well, it sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that today.

I get that you feel like you did something stupid - because yes, online arguments don’t often get us anywhere, they only end up frustrating us, even hurting us sometimes. But trust me when I tell you this: If you were respectful and didn’t insult her, then you did absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn’t your fault. They’re the only ones accountable for their behavior. I get that you feel off right now, but really, all you can do from this point forward is; just keep swimming :P

All that aside, not everyone is going to agree on everything at that is granted. And it is okay. That’s what makes the people that think like us and share our interests so special and beautiful in our eyes, you know? It’s okay if somebody on the internet doesn’t think Jim and Pam are a healthy couple. Maybe they trigger something for them - a reminder of a past relationship that didn’t end well. Or maybe there is no reason for it - this is just the way they view it. All of those are fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would even be interested in hearing them out, because, honestly, I can’t think of how Jim and Pam’s relationship could possibly be considered unhealthy. But from what I understand - and correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just what I got from the way you phrased your question - the person you argued with didn’t really have many points themselves, they were just arguing for the sake of arguing, finding problems when there really weren’t any. And that’s what’s really problematic. When people go out and shout accusations of unhealthy and problematic and abusive relationships, all they do is make a fool out of the REAL problematic and abusive ones. And that’s the true tragedy in all this.

Now onto Jim and Pam themselves. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue; their relationship being considered ‘unhealthy’.

Since day one, Jim and Pam have always ALWAYS brought out the best in one another. And I believe that anyone who argues on this point in particular has been watching a different show. I mean seriously, they were written this way. Their love was, to its core, written to be of the purest kind. They have a strong base as friends, which is the best foundation you can have in a relationship. And they’ve always been each other’s “person”, since the first season. The one they turn to every time they have a problem, like when Pam is frustrated with Roy, or when Jim dies of boredom. They’re partners in crime, their time together is full of the most awe-worthy combination of mischief and touching moments, and just... joy. Have you seen two people happier to just be with each other’s presence? Have you seen anyone’s eyes light up the way Jim’s does every time Pam “chooses him” when she’s “bored” or when she tells him he has “very nice teeth”? Have you seen on anybody else's face that wide smile (with the tongue peeking between the teeth) that Pam gets every time Jim takes a second too long to choose a jellybean flavor, or buys her a coke for a round of jinx? Those two bring the greatest amount of joy to each other, while doing the smaller, most insignificant things. The only thing that could possibly make them wrong would be if their relationship was toxic.

And Jim and Pam’s relationship is not toxic.

Let's look at some signs of a toxic relationship okay?

It feels bad. All the time. Well. I kinda just went through that. The only times it’s felt bad for them was when they were apart, in season 3 mostly, and then in season 9. And yes, they had marital problems. So, SO many couples do, if not every single one. They handled one situation poorly, and it backfired on them, and they drifted apart. And then they found their way back to each other. At this point, I want to quote one of my favorite pieces of writing, ever. I use it a lot, but it applies here so perfectly, so... @acutelesbian said: “A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.” A while later, she reblogged her own post and added: “I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation. The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.” There it is. So. Jim and Pam had some issues during season 9. They didn’t communicate well, they made some poor choices, they didn’t handle the situation they were thrown in very gracefully. And yet they made a choice, the choice to stay and push and fight for their relationship. They went to therapy, together. They opened up, discussed their feelings, communicated, worked out a solution. They chose each other, even though at the time they weren’t each other’s favorite person. They went through a rough patch and came out of it together, stronger than ever. And HAPPY. If that’s not the epitome of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Having said all that, I think I also covered these signs of a toxic relationship:

You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point.

There’s no effort.

Nothing gets resolved. So let's move on to the next ones.

You’re constantly braced for the ‘gotcha’. This is for when there’s a trap in every statement or question, and even though everyone makes mistakes, yours are used as proof that you’re too uninvested, too wrong, too stupid, too something. And this is seriously as far from Jim and Pam as humanly possible. They’re seriously the exact opposite of that, always lifting each other up and supporting one another through their mistakes.

When ‘no’ is a dirty word. “I think I want a wedding-wedding.” “Cranford? No.” “I don’t know if I want this.” “I don’t think you should go to Philly tonight.”

The score card. Let me show you how wrong you are. Before they were together, they both had some “weak” moments, during which they didn’t exactly act fairly. Not once in all these years have we EVER seen one call the other out on their past mistakes. They’re not keeping score, they’re discussing them, dealing with them and moving on. There isn’t a more mature way to go about this.

There’s a battle – and you’re on your own. Again. In every chance they get, in any problem they face with third persons, they always stand by the other’s side and lift them up and support them. Just like when Pam was there for Jim when Ryan made his life hard in s4, or when Dwight terrorized him with the snow in s7. And just like when Jim made the list for Pam when Robert California set her aside, or when he demanded answers by her side from the dude who did call “a dork like that” back. Those two are a team, and not just when they’re planning ways to prank Dwight, or they’re sharing looks across the room over how ridiculous Michael is being.

Privacy? What privacy? Oh, I LOVE this one about them. How they get to be individuals and they are not defined by one another. They get their private time, private hobbies, and that’s such a healthy part of a relationship that so many just overlook. The only time that wasn’t the case was when they were using the world’s smallest Bluetooth - but it was so obvious that they were both craving it so much because they were missing each other, and they were both more than comfortable with it. Until that conversation with her classmate happened, which I’m sure signaled the end of that way of communication for them. But remember all those months they were apart? Remember how Jim TURNED BACK halfway to New York because “I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple”? Remember how respectful they’ve always been of each other’s need for privacy?

The lies. Oh the lies! The only lie between the two (If you don’t count the “I can’t” of Casino Night and the “It was three years ago. I’m totally over it.” of The Secret) was when Jim didn’t tell Pam that he started a business in Philly. Which he told her an episode late, by himself. And it served as the perfect opportunity to show just how steady the foundations of their relationship are, and how much they trust and faith they have in one another and in their love. I’ll never forget how Pam reacted to realizing that Jim is keeping something from her. She didn’t call him out or corner him for answers, she simply waited for him to tell her when he’s ready. Then when the idea of an affair was thrown on the table, Pam shrugged it off, saying “Jim? No. He loves me too much”. And it’s not easy to say that theoretically, much along actually act on it. But when in season 8 Kathy hit on Jim while they were in that hotel, there’s a deleted scene of Jim and Pam on the phone, and Pam is actually joking about the whole thing. It’s impressive and miraculous just how deeply these two trust each other, and believe that they would never hurt the other like that.

Physical or verbal abuse. Or both. We’ve seen Pam being handled roughly by Roy, and then we’ve seen the way Jim treats her, like she’s the most precious butterfly. And HEAVEN HELP ME, the guy was too scared to look at her for too long in the beginning. He’s the most gentle and caring man I’ve seen, in words and actions alike. And the very same goes for Pam. The only time she’s spoken badly to him was when she said “Shut it” as she was storming off Michael’s office when she found out he was dating her mom and Jim knew. And she was clearly very upset and not acting like herself. But we can all agree that this is not a pattern of behavior, and that Jim and Pam have NEVER, EVER been abusive towards one another.

Not including the other in big decisions. This is the only one that’s kinda true. Jim decided to buy his parents’ house, then decided to start a business, then Pam decided to sell the house, all without including the other. Despite those, that was an issue that they were not blind towards, and Pam even brought it up in season 9, and it was one of the problems they worked through at couples therapy. And that’s exactly what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

So there you have it. Those are the main signs of an unhealthy relationship. Wanna hear the definition of a healthy one?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect. Trust. Honesty. Support. Fairness/equality. Separate identities. Good communication. A sense of playfulness/fondness.

In a healthy relationship you:

Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

Maintain relationships with friends and family

Have activities apart from one another

Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

Are able to feel secure and comfortable

Allow and encourage other relationships

Take interest in one another’s activities

Do not worry about violence in the relationship

Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships

Have respect for sexual boundaries

Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship

Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.

Trust each other and be honest with each other

Have the option of privacy

Now, let us all think each and every one of those through. And let’s think about it twice before we accuse perfectly healthy relationships of being toxic.

That’s all I have to say. Sorry, this was so long, and thank you for staying to this point!

All I know is that, for me, Jim and Pam’s relationship - along with that of my parents’ - is the healthiest one my eyes have ever seen. And I feel so lucky to have discovered those two gems. 💜

#jam #jim and pam #pam and jim #jim halpert #Pam Beesly #healthy relationship #the office #the office us #rambles #masterpost #monsterpost #qs & as #Anon #answered

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mannien · 4 years

Text

“You’re Shaking”

Pairing: Tom Holland x Millie Beaver (my own fictional character)

Summary: When Millie is supposed to be strong and emotionally ready to celebrate her sister’s wedding, the best friend arrives to the rescue.

Word Count: 5.6K

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, friends to lovers tropes, weddings

Author’s Note: HEY! HI! I’m new at this! This is my attempt at the writing challenge made by the lovely @cunaeparker! I would post it on the deadline on the 30th, but it’s my birthday as well, so I’ll be probably busy eating chocolate then. Also, it’s a part of the fic that I’m currently writing, hence the specific characters here. If you have any questions about the plot, just ask!

When I first heard that my oldest sister was getting married, I knew I wanted to be a part of this. She may have not known that, but it’s been a very emotional ride for me, personally. Seeing her life roll out a red carpet in front of her, leading straight to the world of eternal love and happiness, it made me realize a lot of things about myself, too.

First and foremost, it showed me what love should look like. Liz and David were the definition of true love for me, and I could not thank them enough for unknowingly telling me this. But months of preparation, more frequent family dinners, and a bunch of personal issues later, the reality hurt like a motherfucker. Since their eye-opening engagement, I’d been struggling with my own relationship and my own happiness.

It’s not that I didn’t like my boyfriend Frank. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t have spent over 2 years together. He was kind, a little less thoughtful than I would like but still a decent amount, very handsome, and a tiny bit more intelligent than me in our common areas of expertise. In addition to it all, he was able to handle me, a very messy head, so there was really no reason for me not to be with him any longer.

Except, there actually was.

I never mean to point fingers either, because I don’t blame people for my feelings. But a number of conversations with my best friend also showed me that there are people caring more about me than Frank; people who are willing to sacrifice more and who pay a lot more attention to the details that make me, well, me. Although, perhaps I shouldn’t compare those two relationships; the guy who got to make out with me has known me since we took the same advanced journalism class at the university. But the one who actually knows the size of my shoe and what allergies I used to have, he’s known me forever. Of course, we had our better or worse times; months when I would be too busy writing essays to talk to him, and he would be lost in filming another blockbuster movie. But at the end of the day, he was like a brother to me. He took care of me. However, most importantly, he knew I was unhappy with Frank and he pointed it out to me a couple of times.

My sister’s happiness and my best friend’s care worked, though. They made me face the reality. They hit me in the face with it so hard that I’ve been feeling like shit for the past month. It’s been exactly a month since me and Frank broke up. To top it off, precisely two hours before the ceremony, at this gorgeous castle in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, my memory played me and told me: “Hey, Millie! It would’ve been your and Frank’s 3-year anniversary!”

This unbearable stream of thoughts hit me when I was watching Liz smile to the mirror at her glorious hairdo. It wasn’t too complicated, her hair was only curled and pinned up in a few right places, but her beaming expression was something to die for. She was ecstatic to marry the love of her life and I couldn’t blame her; it was her day, she was beautiful, and her fiancée was the nicest and most trustworthy man in the world. My torn apart heart envied her, but my face squeezed out the tiniest smile. She was happy, and nothing else was important.

“Come on Millie, let’s give her a breather.” Our middle sister pulled me out of trance. She already had her face full of a glittery, smoky makeup. Leaving Liz’s room meant we will see each other again during the ceremony, and that I needed to get my shit together.

We walked down the dark hall to where our rooms were, just a few doors apart. Our whole way from Liz’s she was on her phone and I stayed silent, patiently listening to her fingernails tapping against the screen, while I did all I could to hold back the disgustingly growing need to throw up from stress.

“Sam, could you stop for a minute?” She looked up at me, right when she was about to open the door to her room.

“What’s up?” She asked, her eyebrows narrowed in concern. I opened my mouth to say something, but I wasn’t even sure what would I allow myself to say. Should I say I’m nervous? Should I start rambling about how my heart is still aching, especially so because of the wedding? How I was supposed to have a peaceful relationship and an obvious choice of date for my sister’s big day but instead, I had to realize that I simply wasted 3 years of my life and emotional devotion?

“Do you…” I started, but nothing came out. I had to swallow down the terrible taste in my mouth. “…how do you turn off your emotions for an event like this?”

“Oh, sweetie…” She no longer had her pretty London accent. A few years in California made her tongue roll differently on each word, and I could barely feel the warmth of her voice. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this, especially now.” He hugged me, but not with all she had in her, because we both respected the effort put into her face. It saddened me, but that was the reality.

“I’m sorry, too.” I whispered.

“Hold on tight, okay? It’s gonna be alright. You’re a fierce one, Mills.”

“I wish I was.” I pity-laughed at myself, but soon regretted that. Sam’s hand slapped my arm quite harshly.

“Hey! Stop that right now. Go on, put that fancy dress you’ve got, make your eyes and lips pop, we’re the Beaver girls, right? Now chop-chop, move your arse.” She pushed me in the direction of my room with a grin. I tried to mirror her expression just for the sake of her attempt to be British again. To be homey, again.

When I was trying my hardest not to lose it emotionally, I focused on practical tasks. I mastered my makeup and sprayed myself with that setting spray the world was screaming about. My hair was a little unruly and I needed an extra bobby pin, if I wanted it to stay up and show off my dress. The self-conscious me didn’t want to, but Liz would want me to. And today was about Liz, so I fought with that high, slightly messy bun until my arms went numb.

My dress was the trickiest part. It required me to tie three bows and zip my whole back up to the neck. Maneuvering all that without messing up anything else in my appearance didn’t sound promising, and being harsh with the material wouldn’t work either. The dress was a work of art to me, so when me and Liz both looked at it one evening, she told me straight away she will ditch the sister dress code. She didn’t make us wear all similar colors, but rather encouraged me to pull the most ‘Millie Beaver’ look I was capable of. So, I ended up with a black tulle uneven material ending somewhere above my knees, going up to the waist in the tiniest folds in an A-line skirt. The see-through, sheer fabric was covered with draped embellishments made out of the tiniest sequins. They made a sort of brush-paint effect that covered my body from my bottom just above the round of my breasts. The neck and loose sleeves made of the thinnest black mesh which barely changed the color of my skin, ended with intense black stripes ready to be turned into the prettiest of bows. I don’t know if it complimented my body, but it definitely made me feel like the prettiest version of myself.

As I was getting into the long sleeves and pulling the body above my boobs, I loud knocking noise interrupted my focus. Intuitively, I looked at the time and exhaled a calming breath, knowing I still have some time and I’m not running late. I held the top of my dress with my right hand, not wanting it to slid down when I open the door.

Tom looked ready to knock again. His fist hovered in the air for a second, until he raised his eyes and noticed me. He smiled down at me with the warmest facial expression I was given today by anyone, or so did I think. I couldn’t help but give him a one good look over. He was dressed up in a very deep navy-blue suit; the kind of navy blue that makes each man look a hundred times more attractive. The way it clung nicely to his broad shoulders told me it was tailor made from a thick and rich material. His crispy white shirt had a few buttons unmade, so it didn’t hug his neck but rather made his throat more exposed in a way that I always tried to avoid. The smile reached his eyes and woke up the wrinkles around them, making his face look even prettier than before. His short brown locks were tucked away nicely with the tiniest amount of hair gel, and I knew right away he had done it on purpose; I’d used to make fun of the shiny look he so often went for at public events.

I could swear that all these details about his appearance my mind grasped within seconds. He didn’t make a funny comment about it, he just greeted me sweetly and nodded at me.

“Hey, Mills.”

“Hey!” I tried to return his smile in a way that would tell him how happy I was to see him. Or maybe how relieved? “Come in, just… avoid the preparation mess.” I laughed and let him in. I closed the door and unintentionally glanced at the way the suit nicely covered his muscular back and bottom. “Look at you, movie star!” I tried to whistle, but I failed and just blew into the air with a little swish to it. He turned to me with a raised brow and laughed at my poor attempt to be sassy.

“I called you, I didn’t know if you were busy right now and I didn’t want to interrupt if you were with Liz.”

“Oh, sorry,” I mumbled quickly, getting close to the phone that was peacefully left alone on the nightstand and charging. “I’m not feeling good, so I just wanted to get ready and face the world after.”

“What’s wrong?” His face scrunched up in concern.

“Just, you know…” My lips formed a tight smile. I shrugged and as it made the shoulders of my dress slide down my arms a little, I remembered that I still had to fix it and put on properly. I hugged the material tight to my chest and fought the terrible urge to bite my lips. “… a bit stressed out.” I mumbled, not willing to go into detail and break down. My mind worked really hard to change the subject as quick as possible, just because he knew I was overreacting and he would want me to be honest. It was a self-destructive behavior, really, but I couldn’t help it when the vomit was trying to make its way up my throat once again. I glanced at him fidgeting with his hands and only then noticed that he was holding two ties in his left hand. He opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t let him. “So, spill the deal Thomas. You’ve never told me who’s your plus one?”

He watched me carefully, as if he already knew what I was up to. I hated this about him, but he played well. A knowing smile spread across his lips as he held up the ties.

“That’s actually one of the things I wanted to discuss with you. The last thing I want is to make you feel uncomfortable tonight, so I wanted your help with these.” He held both accessories in separate hands and put them close to his chest, comparing the way they looked with his suit.

“You can’t choose your tie?” I asked with a chuckle, while pulling the dress completely over my shoulders and hoping it would stay in place, although unzipped and untied. “What happened to your fashion sense?”

“Well, the fashion sense is still here, I mean…” He started cheekily, giving me a slow pirouette to show off of his outfit. “…it looks pretty good if I’m honest.” He laughed. “But no, I wanted to ask you because first of all, you know better,” the pure confidence in his voice made us both chuckle happily again. “and second of all, this option is for me going solo,” his hand holding a striped tie in different shades of blue moved to the middle. “and this one matches your dress, so that I could be your plus one.” He held up closer the burgundy one, with tiny golden embroidered elements. It was almost the exact shade that my dress had bursting out the most from the waist. We would match in a very delicate way, not overwhelming others with the similarity, but rather stating that we probably knew what we were doing.

My heart was rapidly beating, making my insides warm up from this single gesture that he offered. I felt tears well up in my eyes. He knew I was hurting during my relationship, he saw me hurt when I fought for what I had with Frank, as well as he saw me in pain when we called it quits a month ago. My lower lip quivered, not sure if it wanted to let out a tiny sob, or spread wide in a smile. I felt confused emotionally, but the simplicity of Tom’s thought spread a fuzzy feeling across my body.

I moved closer to him, forgetting about the lipstick and biting my lower lip. I took the dark red tie from him and straightened it up, before pulling it over his neck with a small smile. I started the first two moves that I had known from TV, but then absentmindedly started to play with the fabric, trying to look professional.

“Do you even know how to do it?” He tried not to laugh too much at me, so his stifled joy ended up in a sucked in smile.

“YouTube knows.” I smiled up at him. His eyes glistened in a joyful expression as he breathed out a giggle. He took out his phone from the jacket pocket and quickly searched for an easy tutorial for me.

“Go on.” He encouraged me and held his phone up, so that I could see the instructions. I focused on the task and felt the nerves creeping away. My hands slowly relaxed and in swift motions I finished up a loose knot. He noticed my progress and threw his phone on my bed. His gaze was fixated on me; I could feel his brown eyes watching me carefully.

“Can I finish this off?” I asked very quietly, not sparing a look at his face. My fingers hovered over the undone top buttons of his shirt and only when he didn’t reply, I looked up. He was already watching me with an expression I rarely saw on him. He was eyeing my face so closely and delicately, almost as if he tried to memorize that moment. He gently nodded his head and did so while locking our eyes. I swallowed heavily, trying to push away the nauseous feeling that crept back in as a nervous reaction. Very carefully I started working on the little buttons. Then I put his collar up to fit in the tie and gently pushed up the knot, focusing on not wrinkling anything. Then I smoothed out his shirt and smiled proudly to myself.

“Well done!” He chuckled at my childish pride and touched up the knot himself.

“Thank you for doing this.” I whispered, tapping lightly at his chest. I smiled up at him, feeling the tears threatening to escape again. I moved away from him; I didn’t want to become a mess shortly before such big and happy family event.

I started walking towards the bathroom and attempted to zip up my dress at the same time. Soon enough it turned into desperate fumbling with the material at the beginning of the zipper, because it sucked in a tiny piece of fabric. I couldn’t imagine taking it all off and then putting on again after a fight with the zip, my perfectly imperfect bun wouldn’t handle it well.

“Hey, could you give me a hand here?” I turned to him, as he was putting his phone back in the pocket. We used to see each other in many innocent, yet body revealing situations. Hence, we were usually comfortable with one another so that sleeping in the same bed only in our underwear was okay. We made fun of each other’s bodies and somehow, we knew them probably also for the sake of memories from our shared early childhood.

But it felt different this time. The fact that I was so emotionally exposed to him today was possibly one of the reasons why I felt nervous. I knew we were best friends, he was a brother I never had, but suddenly it felt intimate. I was conscious about the fact that I had no bra on, and although I made sure I wasn’t flashing him anything, he had to reach to my lower back to fix the zipper and then slide it across my bare skin.

“Please be gentle with it.” I added. His knuckles softly pushed against me, when he tried to slowly pull the zipper up.

“Exactly how gentle are we speaking?” He chuckled. Then he put one hand on my hip and led me slightly backwards, so that he could sit on my bed.

“Gentle as in I spent all my savings on the only dress I have for my sister’s wedding.” I turned a little to him, trying to steal a glance at what he’s doing. “It’s okay if you can’t do it, I’ll have to try…”

“Shut up, I’ve got it.” He shushed me and pushed me slightly forward again. I felt him stand up and take a light grip at the zipper, before gently pulling it up my spine. “Straighten up.” I stretched out my back as he asked, or maybe even a little too much. My hips moved backwards and made my butt hit his front. It made me feel nauseous again; I was definitely not ready for a wave of seemingly irrational feelings. It was just Tom, and yet I was scared of accidentally touching his crotch with my ass. “Alright, all pretty here.” He smoothed out the material on both my shoulders and I could feel him hesitate for a moment, before he let go of me completely.

“Thanks.” I smiled shyly at him and made my way to the mirror, before he could say I was nervous. I started working on the bow on my neckline.

“Oh, so you’re tying them all up?”

“Yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to look. So you better watch carefully, cause I can’t do the other two as pretty as this one.”

“Man, I thought I only came here to decide on a tie.” He moaned mockingly. I could see him in the mirror, he came up to stand next to me and watch my fingers in action.

“You’re free to go, I can always ask my mom to do it for me.” I shrugged, straightening up the loose ends of the bow.

“And leave my date for the night? No, thank you.” He winked at me cheekily, and I laughed at him. I pulled out my tongue at him and scrunched up my nose. “Don’t do it, your face will stay like this forever.”

“Wouldn’t you like that? At least you could laugh at me, if my jokes aren’t funny to you.” I challenged him, raising an eyebrow.

“Nah, at least one of us has to stay pretty.”

“I thought you said you were pretty?”

“The word is CUTE.” He emphasized. “And there are people who agree on this.” He added. I reached out with my hand to him, so he could try and make an even bow.

“Your granny?” And there it was. Making fun of him as a coping mechanism, whenever I was noticing the upside of his appearance and thinking about it longer than necessary.

“She’s my number one fan, so she counts.” I pointed at the longer end of the knot, so he started fixing it to make it even with the other.

“I thought she was Paddy’s number one fan. Or Sam’s for his abnormal cooking skills.” He smiled soundly at this. “But hey, don’t worry. Your best friend is your fan.”

“You mean Harrison? Yeah, he’s okay. But he’s got history of being more of an assistant, you know?” Tom snorted out a loud laugh at his word and I couldn’t stay silent at that.

“I thought you had another best friend?” He pretended to be deep in thought. I briefly checked on the ready bows and straightened up my sleeves.

“Can’t think of anyone else. Care to share?” He playfully scratched his chin like an old aristocrat. I moved around him to start gathering my things, keeping in mind that I should touch up my lipstick.

“For all I know, you’ve had one super fan ever since you met her as a wee nicked kid.”

“Wow, I must’ve had a very peculiar taste in choosing my best friends.” He laughed, and I only sent him a sideway smile. Although I was the one to encourage our fun exchange, I wasn’t sure if it made me feel comfortable. I wasn’t doubting his friendship, but sometimes I would get this nagging thought starting with ‘what if….’ I didn’t know how I felt anymore, and the sole fact that I was packing my small handbag to my sister’s wedding was near to give me a serious panic attack.

I sat down on a little chair next to the window and started doing up my deep red, velvet lace up pumps with four cross-straps that ended in tiny golden buttons. These were also way out of my every-day comfort zone, but figured as the prettiest pair of shoes I owned. Plus, they went well probably only with this dress. I actually had to spend a couple of days walking around the house in them, just so I could remember if I could walk in high heels.

I stood up, slowly moving around my feet to adjust the fit, and that’s when my mind became a complete mayhem.

“You look so foxy. You should wear heels to work, I bet they would take your ideas seriously in these.” Frank’s words kept on replaying in my head and I was ready to rip those shoes apart. I felt a terrible scrunch in my tummy and I couldn’t hold it anymore. As quickly as I could without tripping over, I made my way to the bathroom and knelt next to the open toilet, ready to empty my stomach any second. A loud sob escaped my lips when nothing would come out and I had to live through the worst wave of nausea. I started ugly-crying, letting go of every inch of calm that tried to keep my nerves under control. I leaned with my elbows on the toilet seat and just held myself there.

“Minnie, are you okay?” I felt Tom squat beside me, his hand gently laid on my back and started rubbing it in soothing circles. I just shook my head and kept on crying, unable to even talk to him. I tried taking deep breaths to calm my body down, but another loose thought about my ex-boyfriend clouded my head and I leaned over the toilet again, hoping this could end already in one way or another. Tom’s free hand went to the bow that started hanging in a risky zone and tucked it close to my chest. His other one went up, massaging slightly my neck to help me relax. “I will breathe with you, okay? It might get better if you follow.” He said in a hushed, yet stern voice. “Come on, one large in,” he inhaled loudly and I tried to mimic him. “now hold it for a second for me, let your body relax,” except that I couldn’t, and my face scrunched in misery. “It’s okay, try again Mills. It’s just a panic attack, you can get through this. Come on, breathe.”

He guided me through a few more deep cycles until my crying stopped. Somewhere during the second inhale I was breaking again, so he rested his forehead on the side of my head, right above my ear, where I could feel his breath on my skin and focus solely on it.

“That’s my girl. You’re safe with me, okay? I promise.” I only nodded rapidly. He slowly moved away to kiss my head in a protective gesture, as he used to whenever he was being affectionate with me.

“Fuck, I’m such a mess!” I groaned in frustration, still feeling the heavy beating of my heart. I sat down on the floor, trying to untangle my feet from under me and rest them somewhat comfortably, even if it meant resting my legs in the most revealing pose. I rested my back on the side of the bath and hid my face in my hands. I squeezed out a few more tears, until I felt a gentle tug on both my wrists.

“Look at me,” Tom asked sternly. He massaged my wrists and patiently waited for me to lift up my eyes to his concentrated gaze. “You’re a mess only if you let yourself feel like one. And I’m not here to see you miserable.”

“Easy for you to say! My sister’s about to get hitched and I keep on thinking about how… how I used to hope, that this would be me and Frank one day because my mind is so fucked up and… and I allowed him to treat my feelings like shit! Just because I wanted someone to fucking love me and want to have a life with me and be my fucking lover!” I let out loudly with a broken sob mid-sentence.

“For fuck’s sake, stop hurting yourself!” He raised his voice and I could feel my heart drop. “I understand it fucking hurts. And I’m so, so sorry, I know you were deeply invested in your relationship with Frank, I get it. But please, for just one moment, try to imagine how would it be if you stopped dwelling on this shit!” He took a frustrated breath and tried to remain composed. He stood up and leaned back on the sink with crossed arms. He closed his eyes, but then started watching me carefully, as if to see if I was going to snap again.

I just sat there motionlessly, too shocked to react in any way. My brain was tired from the panic attack, my body ached from the nerves, and my tongue got cut off by shame. I closed my eyes and tried to rethink my current situation, sort out my feelings. There was a part of me that wanted to reach out to hope, to reason, and to the right place in my heart. Right when I was imagining the right place for my heart, my eyes snapped open to check if Tom was still standing there. He was, eyes glued to me, posture flexed and ready to react. But his face so soft I wanted to burst out in tears again. He was this soft for me.

I reached out to him with my hands and he pulled me up from the floor.

“Exactly how many times should I fucking remind you that you’re better than this, that you actually are lovable, and that there are people who care about you more than that asshole, the one who actually called himself your boyfriend for three years but didn’t deserve it at all?” He asked gently, stepping closer to me. He swiped his thumb underneath my eye, where probably a mascara disaster was happening. Tom gave me a broken smile and it was that smile – the one that made my heart grow and get warm. And suddenly I got goosebumps across my whole body because he was the one to make my mind shut up. All that was left was pure admiration for his care, for his tender smile and for his sparkling brown eyes. This revelation made me feel incredibly exposed to him and almost made me feel shy.

“Could you tell me that one more time?” I replied quietly, still feeling the touch of his hand on my cheek. Curiosity led my voice and made me swallow hard. He smirked at me in a way that I knew made girls swoon over him. However, this time was different and I was the one over the moon.

“Millie, you are incredibly lovable and I fucking care about you. You can get through this and you will, just get your shit together.” He chuckled at the end and I mirrored his reaction, but still heard the first two most important phrases ring through my head. “You are too gorgeous to be still thinking about someone who didn’t make you happy, alright?”

“You promise?”

“Do I promise?” He asked dumbfoundedly and turned us both around, so that we were standing in front of a tall mirror. “Look at yourself, you’re a doll,” He wrapped his arm around my waist when he said that. It felt really warm and right. “you’re perfect in every inch, you look exquisite, hell I’m gonna say it…” he started before cracking a soft, almost nervous laugh. It was obvious he tried to stay composed and professional, but he broke. “you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, that’s it. End of this discussion. Now fix your pretty face, get your fancy bag, and we’ll go see your sister at her happiest.”

I did as he asked but with the amount of warm words that kept replaying in my head, the fifteen minutes that it took me to freshen up felt like a mere second. I felt as if my body was just existing and my soul was floating beside me, intently watching my and Tom’s every move. My floating side kept pushing me into his side, knowing that it will be the best way to stay safe and content. Tom always was a gentleman, his parents raised him well. However, this time when we walked down the corridor to the stairs, and then to the foyer where some guests gathered before entering the main hall where the wedding was supposed to take place, I couldn’t stop thinking about these little gestures. Carefully keeping his hand on my lower back whenever we were turning or passing someone. Smiling down at me whenever I stole a glance at him. Letting me go everywhere first, but not before smoothly checking if there was anything I would possibly trip over. Staying by my side all the time and making sure I was okay. Of course, he was now my date to the wedding. But if any of his brothers were at his place, it wouldn’t be the same.

We were approaching more crowded groups of people and I slowed down. I started feeling incredibly self-conscious and uneasy, especially with the looks that people I knew gave me. Most probably, they looked because I was the bride’s sister, I was finally wearing heels, I had the most makeup since last Christmas, and Tom was side by side with me. Although I doubted it stunned our families that we could be seen together, there were a lot of Liz and Dave’s friends whom we didn’t know, or just old aunties who loved a good gossip. I became fully aware of all of the eyes pointed at us and I felt my insides tremble dangerously. I stopped abruptly and tried to mask my nervousness by fake-fixing my dress. Tom looked back at and raised his funky eyebrow at me, silently asking what’s up. He stepped closer to me and blocked the view of the most intense stares. I stared down at the bows at my sleeves and started anxiously rearranging the strings. I exhaled with an audible shake to my breath and closed my eyes. We stood face to face and I could feel him watching my movements.

“You’re shaking” He whispered, bringing his mouth to the side of my head. Then I felt his fingertips gently touch my hand, before he slowly slid his fingers through mine. Our hands molded together and it calmed me in a way I didn’t know was possible.

“I’m nervous.” I mumbled, so that only he could hear. He left a sweet kiss on my cheek and winked at me.

“No shit, Sherlock.” I let out a nervous laugh and he seemed pleased with my reaction. “Come on, head up, you’re gonna walk in hand in hand with Peter Parker.” He slowly maneuvered the hand he was holding so that I could easily take his arm in an elegant way

“I would rather walk in with Tom Holland.”

“You’re lucky he’s friends with Parker. You can have both.”

Tagging some of the people who I wish would read this bc I love their blogs even though not all of you probably love Tom but I LOVE YOU

@lauras-collection @peeterparkr @thirsttrapholland @fondlynarry @niallandtommo @heyhihellowhatsup0 @constellationsv @angel-spidey @starkissedholland

#saws300followerwc #writing challenge #tom holland #Tom Holland fluff #Tom Holland blurb #Tom Holland fanfiction #prompt challenge #my writing #millie and tommy #millie and tom #my fic #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff

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sammiexwtf · 4 years

Text

DIO Sounds About Right

Hi please enjoy my shitty JJBA fic (You can find it on AO3 and Wattpad with the same name) NSFW

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“Giorno I am so sorry that you haven’t been on good terms with your father practically since your birth, but I am NOT failing this project just because you want to avoid him,” You huffed. The blonde man on your phone screen shot you an annoyed look, which most likely mirrored the one on your own face.

“I don’t know why you’re so damn adamant on staying at my house to finish this project Y/N. I’ve already stayed over at your place countless of times and as a plus you’re closer to the library, we could just walk over when we need to,” Giorno let out a deep sigh as he leaned against his bed frame. “You know how I get when he’s around and since his business trip was cancelled he’ll be here for the whole weekend.”

“Look Gio, I know you try and avoid him as much as possible and I’m not clueless about your feelings towards him,” you mumbled with a small frown. “It’s just that my roommate is planning on using the apartment for one of her ridiculous parties and we’re not going to have any peace for our work if you come over here. Besides, even if your dad is going to be home all weekend you always tell me he locks himself in his study, so it’s not like we’re going to be graced with his presence anyways.”

“Still it’s just the simple thought of being under the same roof as him that’s bothering me. Plus, I don’t think you’ve even met my dad, so you wouldn’t really understand why I’m so against it.”

“You make it sound like he’s some sort of monster, maybe we should start calling him Count Dracula or something.” Your friend snorted at your stupid joke, trying to hide his smile by turning his face away from the screen.”Either way you won’t be completely alone with him if I’m there, and I know you wouldn’t be able to put up with a bunch of drunk college girls trying to get you into their panties.” At your last remark the blonde made a look of disgust and knew that you basically won the argument. If there was one thing that bothered Giorno the most, it was those self proclaimed ‘fans’ of his that were scattered throughout the university that you both attended, your roommate being one of them. Trying to avoid their affections while they were drunk would cause him even more displeasure than usual.

“Fine then. I’ll text you the address.” You couldn’t hide your excitement as you jumped out of bed to start packing your bag. This would be the first time going over to Giorno’s house since you’ve met him, and you weren’t going to waste any time if he decided to change his mind last minute.

“Alright I’ll see you soon then. Bye Giogio!”

“I told you not to call me that!” You playfully stuck your tongue out at the blonde before ending the FaceTime call to finish packing.

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You couldn’t help but stare wide-eyed at the enormous house before you, flicking your head back and forth between the address Giorno had sent to you and the one plated in gold above the large double set doors. You even asked the boy more than once if he sent you the wrong address by mistake, earning you a barrage of middle finger emojis and obscenities at having to repeat himself over and over. Gingerly you lifted your hand to the doorbell and rang it, hearing the chime as clear as day echo inside. Your eyes shifted above the doorbell and noticed a plaque with the name ‘Brando’ etched across it. The sound of one of the doors opening gained your attention once more as a gorgeous young woman stepped out from them. She was wearing what looked to be a tight fitting maid’s uniform, with long brown hair swept to the side and cascading down one of her shoulders.

“Welcome to the Brando residence,” She said with a polite smile. “How can I help you Miss?”

‘Brando residence?” You thought to yourself. ‘I thought Giorno’s last name was Giovanna?’

“Uh hi...I’m looking for Giorno? I’m not sure if I’m at the right address.” The young woman perked up at Giorno’s name and stepped aside, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“You must be Y/N! Please come inside, Mr.Giovanna is indeed expecting you tonight!” At the confirmation you let out a breath of relief before stepping through the threshold, only to stop at the sight of the marble staircase before you. The house was far from being considered a mansion, but nonetheless did it look like something straight off of one of those celebrity reality shows. You jumped at the sound of the large door closing behind you, forgetting momentarily about the girl as she quickly made her way towards you. “Just give me one moment to go get Mr.Giovanna for you, he was insistent about showing you the house on his own.” All you could do was nod your head as words seem to fail as she hastily made her way up the stairs. You didn’t have time to look around though as Giorno came around from the top of the stairs and smiled down at you.

“This would be the part where I’d say welcome to my humble abode, but there is absolutely nothing humble about this monstrosity, my father made sure of that,” He sneered. He motioned with his hand for you to come up and you quickly began to ascend the stairs. Once you were at the top it didn’t seem as scary as before, but the rest of the home was just as beautiful. You honestly weren’t paying attention to where you were going, you were trying to take in everything at once from the amazing artwork that lined the walls, to ornate furniture, and even taking a moment to look at how pristine the hardwood floors were that you could practically see your face through it. Ok, maybe they weren’t that clean but still.

Before you knew it, you were in Gio’s bedroom as he made his way to his bed and opened his laptop. His bedroom was a simple creme color, a coffee brown bookcase filled with novels and trophies was lined next to a window that reached from the floor to the ceiling. Directly across from his bed was a flatscreen T.V sitting on top of a matching brown dresser. His walls were covered in paintings that looked as if they belonged in an art museum and a map of the world hung above his headboard. You stared down at his bed then, afraid to sit down as you didn’t want to wrinkle the deep purple duvet atop it. It took Gio a moment to realize that you were still standing by the doorway, his eyes following yours as they danced across his room as well before stopping right back at you.

“What?”

“Why am I just finding out now, after 2 years of friendship might I add, that you’re fucking loaded? I mean I knew you came from a family with SOME money but holy shit dude!” You stared into his green eyes, looking for an answer. Only to be met with a smile.

“Well technically I’m not rich. My father is. Hence there was nothing to find out.” You gave the blonde a dirty look, earning a chuckle from him before deciding that the bed was no longer intimidating and sat down on it.

“You know what I meant. I know you said your dad had a busy job, but what does he do to be able to own a house like this? Is he part of the mafia?” This time your question earned you a hearty laugh from your friend and you felt your ears get hot, not liking to be laughed at when you were being serious. You threw your duffle bag at Giorno, only for him to catch it with ease before placing it next to him on the bed. “I’m not trying to be funny Gio! Answer me!”

“First and foremost, you should know the mafia is MY forte, and I probably would respect the man if he actually was a member. It would make getting in a bit more easier.” You snorted at his answer. If you had a dollar for every time the boy mentioned dropping out of school to join the mafia you’d probably be as rich as his father by now. “However, every now and then he gets one as a client, if they’re willing to pay good that is. He’s a lawyer.” You looked around once more and out the open door as the maid walked by carrying a basket full of laundry. If this is what a lawyer could afford, maybe you were studying the wrong major.

“I have one more question.” Gio simply nodded his head for you to continue as he began typing on his laptop, pulling up the notes for the project you were assigned. “Why did that maid say this was the Brando residence? There was a plaque outside too with that name. I thought your last name was Giovanna?”

“It is Giovanna,” he answered without looking up from the computer screen. “That was my mother’s maiden name. My father’s last name is Brando. They were never married.” His curt reply told you that there was definitely more behind the story, but you decided not to press the issue for now and kept any more questions to yourself.

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Roughly three or four hours had passed since you and Giorno had begun working on your project, satisfied with the work so far you both decided to take a break. The due date wasn’t until a week from now, but this project was for your marine biology class and the professor was known for being a hardass when it came to grading so the sooner you could work on it, the more time you could use to perfect it before it reached him. You tossed your pen onto the bed, cracking your fingers and stretching your arms. Giorno had brought out his espresso machine an hour into the session and was now brewing himself another cup. You honestly never heard of anyone who kept a spare coffee machine in their bedroom, but Giorno mentioned that while he lived in Italy, it apparently was a normal thing. You called bullshit but decided not to break your head over it anymore.

“You sure you don’t want another cup of coffee Y/N?” You covered your mouth to stifle a yawn, wagging your finger at him.

“No thank you, if I drink too much caffeine I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Besides,” You added while hopping off of his bed. “Another cup of anything and I think my bladder will explode. Where’s the closest bathroom in this maze?”

“Down the hallway on the other end of the staircase, turn right.”

“Grazie!” He simply shot you a thumbs up as you made your way out with his, albeit vague, directions. Soon you went down the hallway and passed the stairs. “Alright he said turn right and we should be in business…” As soon as you turned the corner you stopped to see three doors, one on the right side closest to you and two on the left. All three were closed and Giorno hadn’t mentioned there’d be more than one door. “Well...only one way to find out.” Without another thought you naturally went to the single door on the right and opened it without hesitation. Not the brightest idea.

You halted in place, mouth going dry. The door you opened led not to the bathroom but to an older looking study. The three walls in front of you were lined ceiling to floor with bookcases, a small globe in the corner. In the center of it was a large mahogany desk, covered in scattered papers. What made you really stop however was the tall and muscular blond man casually leaning against the desk...with the maid on her knees facing him. The moment you had opened the door he had slowly looked up from the woman to you, not even startled by your intrusion. At first the only sounds you could hear was your own rapid heartbeat echoing in your ears, but now you were focusing on the sounds coming from the maid and noticing how her head was bobbing. A blush began to creep up your neck to your face as it looked like he made no intentions of stopping her either.

“Is there something I can help you with? I’m a bit busy if you couldn’t tell.” His deep voice had wrapped around your mind, slowly dragging you out of your thoughts. It sounded so calm, despite the current situation. You had to basically tear your eyes from the scene in front of you, your face burning more.

“I-I’m so sorry! I was just looking for-” You began to stutter, but he raised a hand stop you mid sentence.

“It’s the door across.” You quickly bowed and practically slammed the door shut, missing the sinful look on the man's face as he watched your retreating form.

You bolted into the room across, thankful this time for it actually being the bathroom as you locked the door letting out a shaky breath. You had no doubt in your mind that you had just met Giorno’s father, and unceremoniously at that.

“What a great first impression,” You thought aloud. You made your way to the sink to run some cool water on your face in hopes of getting your flustered look back to normal. After you were done and completed your original business you just stood at the closed door, you were a bit nervous to step foot outside the bathroom if god forbid HE was to come out at the same time. Unfortunately, god decided to dislike you at this moment as you heard a small knock on the restroom door. “Just a second,” You shakily called out. Deeply hoping it was Giorno wondering what was taking you so long. When you finally had the gall to open the door you were instead met with the sight of the young maid, her hair this time was a bit disheveled and a small pink tint was hinting at her cheeks.

“Hello again Ms. Y/N,” She squeaked out. This time she would not meet your eyes, looking towards the ground instead. “Mr. Brando would like for you to join him in his study for a moment. I will be taking my leave for the evening, please enjoy the rest of your stay.” She bowed and sped away and out of sight, not giving you a chance to apologize about walking in on them. You swept your eyes over the closed door to the study across from you, feeling a cold sweat begin to form on your brow. You inhaled deeply before settling your nerves and walking over. This time you knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

“Come in.” With another deep breath you slowly edged the door open, once again being welcomed by the dimly lit study. This time the man, whom you now knew was in fact Giorno’s father, sat behind his desk patiently, fingertips pressed together right above his wide chest. “I’m glad you learned how to knock this time,” He teased with a grin.

“Trust and believe I learned my lesson, again I want to properly apologize about intruding on...something so private.” You could hear your voice falter under his intense gaze, and he let out a deep chuckle. The sound was so alluring, and you felt your throat beginning to dry.

“That’s quite alright. I wanted us to start over on that first impression. Given the maid explained to me you’re a friend of my son, I didn’t think it appropriate for your first meeting of me to be in the middle of having my cock sucked,” He stated as if he were just talking about a small inconvenience. Your eyes widened at his crudeness and you couldn’t help but blush and look away, positive that you were as red as a cherry now.

“Well then...I appreciate the second chance then Mr. Brando.”

“Dio.”

“I beg your pardon?” You turned your face back to him, now he had his arms resting beside him on the chair. There was an almost playful look in his eyes.

“You can call me Dio. Mr. Brando is far too old for my taste.”

‘Of course his name would be something like Dio...how well it suits him too,’ You thought to yourself.

“Alright then...Dio. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You bowed to formally greet the man, and when you looked back up he was beckoning you with his finger to come forward. You thought about just staying put but in the end began walking towards him. As you got closer, you were able to notice his features more clearly. His vibrant blond hair sat at neck length, small fringes of bangs reaching right about his thick brows. His eyes almost looked cat like, predatory even yet strikingly alluring. You assumed they were a light brown color but with the dim lighting they almost looked red, adding a supernatural aura to him. He was gorgeous, and now you knew where Giorno got his looks from. Once you reached the edge of his desk, he held out his hand for you, almost as if he were asking for a handshake. You reached out your own to reach his, taking notice at how incredibly large his hand was to yours. However he gently wrapped his fingers around your hand and leaned over, placing a warm kiss on your knuckles. The small action immediately sent a wave of heat through your entire body. He looked up at you through hooded eyes, not moving your hand away from his face. Your blush had never left, and the heat began to grow unbearable as you watched his eyes slowly sweep down your face, stopping for a moment at your lips before coming back up to lock once more with your own.

“The pleasure is mine, Ms. Y/N.” His voice dropped to a seductive whisper, the breath from his words ghosting over your knuckles and sending a shiver down your spine. Slowly he slipped his hand from yours, lingering on your fingertips for the briefest of moments before resting it on his thigh. You followed his movements with your eyes, noticing how thick and muscular his thighs were, straining against the fabric of his beige dress pants. Your eyes crept up, landing on the small amount of skin peeking out from his shirt he hadn’t bothered to tuck back in. The white button down seemed to be a second skin, as it clung to every contour and muscle on his body, the first two buttons undone to give you a glimpse of just what lies underneath. Finally, your journey stopped on his lips; deliciously pouty and upturned into one of the most devilish smirks you’d ever seen. “See something you like?” You dragged your eyes up completely to meet his, only to be greeted with an intense gaze that burned through your entire body. He had watched you ogle him shamelessly like a horny school girl, and couldn’t look more proud about it. At that moment the door to the study swung open, snapping you out of your trance.

“I was worried you got lost, looks more like you got trapped.” Giorno’s familiar voice was laced with venom, his face contorted to one of disgust. He stayed at the entrance of the study, holding the door open to allow the light from the hallway to seep through. He was focused solely on Dio, who sat relaxed in his chair unbothered by the angry blonde boy.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise my son.” He emphasized the last two words, earning an eye twitch from the younger. “ I was just introducing myself to your exquisite friend here. I’m quite hurt that you hadn’t introduced me to her sooner.” Giorno simply scoffed at his father’s words.

“Well now that you’ve met, I’d like to have her returned to me now. We have a project to finish.” Giorno then turned his eyes to you, his gaze softening immensely. “Come on Y/N, I ordered us some takeout and it should be here soon so we can get back to work.”

“O-oh. Uh thanks Gio,” You mumbled. Your mind was still in a bit of a haze, but you were beginning to get your bearings. You turned to look at Dio and bowed once more. “It was nice meeting you Mr...I mean Dio. Please have a great rest of your evening.” With that you turned and began high tailing towards the door. Giorno moved back into the hallway as you approached, but before you could close the door that seductive voice reached out to you once more.

“Y/N,” he purred out. Slowly you turned towards him, hand still in the door knob. “If you need anything at all tonight, please do not hesitate to come look for me. You are our guest here and it would be my...” his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, “greatest pleasure to assist you.” You couldn’t help but swallow at the second meaning behind his words. Afraid to hear your own voice you simply nodded your head before softly closing the door behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giorno had interrogated you for a bit on your meeting with Dio, and you lied and told him you simply got curious after finding the bathroom and stumbled upon the study. You could tell he knew you were leaving something out but you would be damned if you actually told him the real way you found his father. After making sure you were ok enough for him and confirming that the man never touched you he dropped the subject and you both went on with the project while enjoying the food he had ordered. At around 1 AM you both agreed on turning in for the night and to continue in the morning. Giorno showed you to the guest room right next to his and bid you goodnight, finally leaving you alone with your thoughts. You laid on top of the bed just staring at the ceiling for a while. No matter how hard you tried, you kept replaying the meeting with Dio over and over again to the point that the memory of the maid slowly morphed and it was now you on your knees in front of him instead of her.

“Get out of my head!” You angrily whispered, not wanting for your friend to hear you through the walls. You glanced at your phone to see the time, ‘1:30 AM’ mocked the bright numbers. You got up from the bed and dug through your duffle bag and pulled out your pajamas. You thought about just changing and forcing yourself to sleep but you felt too warm and wanted a shower. Immediately you thought about going to the one down the hall but your stomach dropped, you did NOT want to run into you know who. “This house is huge, there’s definitely another bathroom somewhere.” You slowly made your way out of the room and into the quiet hallway. You checked the other rooms near yours only to find another guest room and a movie room, which you knew you were going to beg Giorno to set up a movie night after all of this. You walked down the hall and stopped at the stairs, looking at the hallway across from you where you knew the bathroom was.

“Maybe he’s not there anymore and went to bed?” You said to yourself. You shook your head and continued on your mission of finding another bathroom and descended down the stairs, you weren’t going to take any chances. Finally after finding the kitchen, two more guest rooms and a billiards room, you found a second bathroom. It was smaller and less ornate than the one up stairs but it was still a decent size and had a stand up shower. You mentally cheered before placing down your items and quickly began stripping. Soon you were in the shower letting the cool water bounce across your skin, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away. Occasionally your mind would wander onto the relationship Giorno had with his father, yes the man was indeed intimidating and there was something below the surface of that beautiful face that felt a bit dangerous, but there was nothing else that struck out to you as to why your friend couldn’t stand him. He’s told you about how egotistical the man is and how they always lived on edge of a fight, but never actually gave you hard proof or reasons for the intense dislike. Giorno had told you about his mother and how a complete bitch she was while he was growing up and everything she had put him through so you understood his feelings towards her completely. Eventually she dumped him off onto Dio one day and just disappeared from his life, ‘good riddance’ he had told you. Yet the mechanics of his relationship with his father was still kept a mystery to you and he would close up about it if you started asking too many questions. The only answer you’ve gotten so far was that they shared a difference in morals, and that was it.

After a good while you finished your shower and started to dry off. You felt as if a thousand weights were lifted from your shoulders and quickly put the events of the evening to the back of your mind, finally feeling sleepy. You began to get dressed but noticed something odd. You could have sworn you brought a clean pair of underwear to change into along with your pajamas. You looked around the bathroom floor to see if maybe it had fallen but found nothing.

“Maybe I left them in the bag by accident?” You shrugged your shoulders and just decided to just slip on your night shorts without underwear , you’d put some on when you got back to your room. You opted for a simple tank top as well to complete the look, your body was still a bit wet so the shirt became damp making the material a bit see through. You didn’t really care much, not like you were going to run into anybody like this..

You made your way out of the bathroom, the air inside the house suddenly felt a lot more colder and you began to shiver. Scurrying your way through the first floor you finally made it back to the stairs and started to climb them. You hadn’t noticed the extra pair of footsteps walking the hall until you were half way up, stopping completely in your tracks and if you hadn’t met him tonight the sight before you would’ve been a terrifying one. Dio stood at the top of the stairs, his back facing the little bit of light from the hall so all you could really see was the outline of his body, his face was completely hidden in the shadows. It felt like you were looking at a ghost and not a man.

“What a coincidence, I was just on my way down to look for you, Ms. Y/N..” His voice was as smooth as ever, but you noticed there was something else there that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What on earth are you doing up at this hour?” You were feeling a bit uneasy with how calm he sounded, and the fact that you couldn’t see his face was making it worse.

“I was just taking a bath..” You answered meekly, your throat feeling tight.

“And why would you go through the trouble of going all the way down there? You already know there’s one upstairs.”

‘ Because I didn’t want to run into like I just did now.’ You thought to yourself. You swallowed hard before answering.

“I-I didn’t want to disturb you in case you were asleep.”

“Aren’t you the thoughtful one.” He let out a chuckle. “No matter, I actually was looking for you to see if you forgot something.”

“Not that I know of..why?” You wanted for this conversation to be over already, the tension that you had just showered away crawling right back to you. Dio let out another chuckle, this one sounded a bit huskier. He didn’t say anything but lifted his hand out to the side, and your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. In his hand were your missing panties, where as he was still in the shadows they were illuminated VERY clearly in the light. You felt your embarrassment multiply as he laughed at your reaction.

“I found them on the floor up here by the stairs and figured they were yours, unless Giorno has changed his sense of fashion recently which I doubt considering he’s never liked polka dots to begin with. Then again I’m not one to judge.” You could hear the teasing tone in his voice and you couldn’t help but laugh nervously at his joke.

“This is just outright embarrassing, but thank you for trying to return them to me.” You kept mentally cursing to yourself about this whole situation, and how this happened in the first place; you should’ve just let Giorno come to your apartment to study like he wanted from the beginning. You began climbing the stairs to retrieve your underwear from the blond, but as soon as you reached the last step he took one step back just out of your reach. You furrowed your brows and stepped forward again, and once more he took another step back. “Um...what are you doing?”

“Playing your game, Ms. Y/N.” You rose a brow in confusion, you were honestly getting annoyed now.

“What game?” He let out a ‘hmph’ before turning around and walking down the hall, still dangling your underwear over his shoulder for you to see. “Hey!” You shouted and followed after him as he disappeared around the corner, once you reached it you stopped to see the door to his study was wide open. You made your way over and stood in front of the open door, on top of his desk were your panties, but Dio was nowhere in sight.

‘ I would have to be a complete idiot not to realize this is a trap.’ You stayed in place, just staring at the underwear that was mocking you. He had to be somewhere in there, but the dim lighting made it hard to see into the small shadows in the corner of the room, and the light from the hallway wasn’t helping much either. You contemplated just leaving them there, it wasn’t like you had no more underwear at home, but deep down you wanted to see what would happen and the moment that thought crossed your mind you felt a warm sensation through your body. Your fantasy was getting the better of you and before you realized it you were walking towards the desk. You reached the desk and still no sign of the man, so you reached out to grab your underwear without hesitating.

*Click*

The light from the hallway completely disappeared as the door was closed, you didn’t turn around but you could feel someone staring at you from behind. His footsteps echoed in the room, surprised that you could even hear them over the sound of your own heartbeat blaring in your ears. He stopped right behind you, his chest practically pressed against your back. A large hand reached out from behind you and took hold of the clothes that you were still clutching in your hands before tossing them to the side. Once more the hand came into your line of vision and tenderly cupped your face and turned it to the side to meet Dio’s hot gaze. His hand was cold in comparison to your hot face as he slowly traced circles on your bottom lip with his thumb. He bent his head down to your ear, pressing you against his body in the process and feeling his hardness rub against your ass. You let out a gasp, earning you a chuckle from the large man, his warm breath tickling your ear.

“I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you, that you’d be a special treat.” His voice felt like velvet as he whispered into your ear, the sound along with his breath was beginning to make your body betray you as each word he whispered sent a throbbing heat to your core. He kissed the spot right behind your ear, slowly ghosting his lips across your jaw, then your cheek before hungrily taking your own lips with his. His lips were softer than they looked as they caressed your own, earning a moan from you. Dio took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You should’ve pushed him away, bit his tongue, elbowed him to make a run for it or something instead of just giving in. His other hand had wrapped around your waist, but was now moving up and under your tank top grabbing a hold of your right breast and massaging it. Dio finally pulled away from the kiss and aside from the lustful look on his face he seemed unaffected, unlike you who was a panting red faced mess.

“We shouldn-'' Was all you were able to breath out before he pinched your nipple hard eliciting another moan from you as he began rubbing the sensitive bud between his fingers.

“Your voice sounds so sweet when you moan for me Y/N, I want more of it.” His other hand left your face as it travelled to the waistband of your shorts before slipping through easily, running a long thick finger across your slit. Your hips on their own accord bucked at the sensation, making Dio laugh darkly. “My, my, all I did was kiss you and you’re already so wet. You’re a very filthy girl aren’t you Y/N?” You turned your face away from him and bit your lip to hold back another moan as he slipped his finger inside you and began pumping it slowly. Your knees began to buckle from underneath you, so Dio pushed you both forward effectively pinning your legs between him and the desk to stop you from falling.

“I can’t do this,” You whined to him. “Your Giorno’s father..” You squeezed your eyes shut in pain as he added two more fingers and began pumping at an obscene pace, not allowing you to stretch around them first.

“I’m well aware of who I am to that boy.” He answered gruffly.The hand that was on your breast moved and was cupping your face a bit more rough than before, his fingers now hitting your sweet spot causing your breath to stop in your throat. “I’m also aware about his feelings for you and how blissfully ignorant you are to them. Which makes this so much more sweeter for me.” He kissed you again, this time more feverishly. As he pulled away again he withdrew his fingers from your heat at the same moment, leaving you feeling empty. That feeling was short lived however as he pushed you down onto the desk, your chest was completely pressed against it making your ass push out towards him. Dio pulled your shorts down to your ankles, the cold air rushing to your wet core making you shiver. You could hear him unzipping his pants and the ruffling of clothing, before you felt the tip of his dick tease against your entrance. Slowly he inched it into you, stretching out your hole. It had not hurt as much as you thought it would but there was a dull pain nonetheless from how big he was. You’ve had partners before so you were by no means a virgin, but you’d be damned if you had anybody with his size.

“Such a nice and tight cunt you have my dear Y/N. I can’t wait to ruin it.” Without wasting another moment he gripped your hips with both hands as he began to fuck you roughly, the lewd sound of his skin slapping against yours were drowned out by your loud moans. His chest was pressed firmly against your back, his head right next to your ear and you could hear every groan and grunt that escaped his lips. “I wish you could see the look on your face right now,” He panted into your ear, not once stopping his relentless pace. “Such a dirty look for a dirty girl.” You had no response, the only thing falling from your mouth being your own incoherent screams and moans. Soon you felt a hot pressure beginning to build, each thrust bringing you closer to your edge.

“Dio please!” You couldn’t recognize your voice, it sounded so hoarse and needy. He took notice and snaked a hand down between your legs, pressing a finger onto your clit but not moving it.

“Please what, my dear Y/N?” He began to slow his pace, getting you on the verge of tears as you felt the pressure begin to fade. “I want to hear you beg for it.” You tried to bring your hips to meet his but he only pulled farther away. Finally you gave in.

“Make me cum from your cock Dio, please!” Satisfied he picked up his pace, slamming into you as he began rubbing your clit in tight circles. The pressure began building up again causing your vision to go in and out.

“I want you to scream my name when you cum. Be a good little girl for me.” His voice is what sent you over the edge as his name ripped from your throat as you orgasmed. As you came your core squeezed around him, bringing him close to his. He pulled out with a final groan as he emptied his load onto your ass. As your high began to die down, you felt the pain on your thighs from being pounded into the desk. You were going to have bruises tomorrow for sure. Slowly Dio lifted himself from on top of you, lifting you off of the desk as well. “I apologize, but it seems I may have made a bit of a mess on you.” His breathing was back to normal, but when you turned around you looked down and nearly choked. He was still as hard as a rock. “Why don’t I join you for a another shower, Ms. Y/N?” The devilish look on his face was enough to tell you that your little romp was far from over.

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #anime #dio brando #readerxcharacter #readerxdio #reader insert #smut

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mysterylover123 · 4 years

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My Top 10 Todobakudeku Moments

mysterylover123

So a while back I did a post about the OT3 moments of Baku/Deku/Ocha, since i’d noticed a bunch of em. But since we’re in the Todobakudeku arc in the manga right now, I figured I’d do another one for the OT3, especially since I’ve made posts about Top 10 moments for each component (a whole whopping 40 in total for BKDK, since I had 2 lists of 20). These three are basically considered the three MCs of BNHA, and I may as well talk about the bits that throw ‘em all together.

BTW I’m pretty sure this current arc will add about ten more to the list so this is a preemptive strike for now.

#10. What about our extra lessons?

Episode 61 “Deku vs Kacchan Part 2″

What happens; After the big BKDK blowout, Todoroki takes the time to ask Bakugou if he’s still gonna have time for their extra lessons. Bakugo gets annoyed and yammers about how this has nothing to do with Shoto.

Why I Like It: Both Ochaco and Shoto throw their hats into the ring after the big blowout in terms of their role in the rivalry; on the one hand, this looks like Katsuki telling Shoto to butt out of their Rivalry bromance...but it still means we highlight Shoto’s place in this group, nonetheless.

#9. "Perceptive and Dense”

Chapter 217 “One for All and All for One”

What Happens: MANGA SPOILERS Shoto goes up to Deku to ask him about his new power and how he apparently lied to him about having multiple quirks. Deku comes up with a plausible lie, while Bakugo rolls his eyes at Shoto’s inability to get it.

Why I Like it: After a big BKDK chapter, where we see their new dynamic, Shoto again pops up to remind us that he has a stake in this part of the story: he has a connection to Midoriya, and now to Bakugo, that is important to his personal growth. Also it does, as fans pointed out, look like a shot out of TDBKDK doujin.

#8. Locker room Challenge & Obstacle Race

Episode 15-16 “Roaring Sports Festival”/”In their Own Quirky Ways”

What Happens: Shoto goes over to Deku and challenges him. Bakugou gets rather jealous of this and insists that Shoto “declared war on the wrong person”. Deku surpasses them both, coming in first place by jumping on their backs and riding the wave.

Why I like it: This is kind of the official ‘beginning’ of TDBKDK as a thing, since before this Todoroki just kinda exisited in tandem with the Wonder Duo instead of being a part of their rivalry thang. It’s not entirely clear how this triangle works - is Bakugou jealous because Deku picked another rival or because Todoroki isn’t interested in him? Is Deku more keen to surpass one or the other? Would Todoroki challenge Kacchan if Deku wasn’t connected with All Might? It’s not so simple.

#7. “How sad, Todoroki Shoto”

Episode 45 “What a Twist”

What Happens: Knowing that the LOV wants to kidnap Kacchan, Todoroki, Deku and some other people band together to save him. In the moment of his kidnapping, it’s both Deku and poor, frantic Shoto who fail to save him, highlighted by “how sad, Todoroki Shoto” and “Don’t come, Deku”.

Why I Like It: While everyone in Class A is protective of Bakugou in this arc, Todoroki and Deku go the few steps beyond into Shippy territory. Not only do we have Shoto take the time to express his concern for Deku in the ep before this, but we also have Todoroki’s uber-protective giant-ice-wall attack on Compress, Deku’s “Give him back”, and this final, devastating failure, to remind us of the reciprocal OT3-ness of them. Nicely played.

#6. Hideout Raid Arc

Episodes 46-50

What happens. Following the aforementioned failure, Deku and Shoto are among the most gung-ho of all Class A to go do the incredibly stupid and reckless thing and save him. When he is before them again, they both move in sync to save him, with Iida having to stop them both. Thanks to Deku’s planning, they succeed.

Why I Like It: Continued mostly from the appeal of the previous one, but this one has: Todobaku (Todoroki risking everything to save Kacchan), Tododeku (Todoroki and Midoriya moving in sync to save him) and of course BKDK all over the place (”I can’t help feeling I have to save him” “You’re the most concerned of all” “Don’t give up All Might”, etc.) It’s very nice and circular.

#5. Deku vs Todoroki

Episode 23 “Shoto Todoroki Origin”/chapters 38-40

What Happens: Midoriya gets furious at Shoto for holding back on him, because everyone else, including OP bosses like Kacchan, is using everything they’ve got to win. Channelling Baku, Deku refuses to lose, and eventually does the “Your power” thing, which makes Todoroki have his big epiphany moment and change forever. And throughout it all, we cut back to Bakugou, reminding us of his role in this whole thing.

Why I Like It: Well, obviously first and foremost because “DEKU VS TODOROKI OMG”. But for TDBKDK, this is another one that just keeps them all inside each other’s orbits in this pivotal moment. Bakugo is deeply interested and invested in Todoroki’s deal. BKDK show their mind-mates sync think when they talk together, like they just know everything. And of course it’s the #1 big TDDK moment. But significantly, the inspiration on Deku’s side is a very Kacchan-like moment of “take me seriously” from him.

#4. Bakugo vs Todoroki

Episode 25 “Todoroki vs Bakugou”/Chapters 43-45

What Happens: Where to start? Bakugou and Todoroki brooding over Deku in the prep room; Todo losing his spark post Deku-match and Baku being jealous, Baku yelling about how there’s no point in not doing better than Deku, Deku cheering Todoroki on to do his best and Baku appreciating it...it’s more like five moments but I’m counting it as one.

Why I like It: So much TDBKDK vibe in this one. Bakugo needs to do better than Deku and wants respect from Todoroki. Deku wants Bakugo to get his respect and Todoroki to take care of himself. Todoroki feels guilty for hurting Bakugo and comes alive at encouragement from Midoriya. They all kinda benefit from each other in ways that go in all 3 directions.

#3. Wanna come intern with me? (MANGA SPOILERS!!)

Chapter 242 “Merry Christmas”

What Happens: Todoroki notices how Midoriya and Bakugou both have nowhere to intern. He offers to let them come learn from the #1 with him.

Why I Like It: This one is pure, fanservice-y fun, though it did set the direction for this new arc. But while there isn’t too much BKDK in this one, outside of their posing, Todoroki noticing his two bfs issues and offering them a way out is just pure peak Shoto. He’s so nice, ya’ll, and he cares so much about both Deku AND Kacchan at this point. If you don’t believe me on that one...

2. Training with these Guys (MANGA SPOILERS)

Chapter 247 “Progress Check”

What Happens: Todoroki, relaying his backstory after Deku and Kacchan already gave theirs, explains how his entire perspective was changed “by fighting with these guys” - not just Midoriya, but both of them. He makes it very clear that they’ve changed his life.

Why I Like It: This chapter also has some bKDK-y goodness in it too, since Baku flashes back to his adorable childhood with Deku in his motivation monologue. But here, Todoroki firmly establishes how much both characters mean to him, how they’ve affected him. I love that little correction, too, as he reminds himself there’s other people he cares about too.

BONUS:

#1. Todoroki’s Backstory

Episode 19/Season 2 Episode 6 “The Boy born with Everything”/Chapter 31

What Happens: Todoroki tells Deku his backstory and Bakugo overhears.

Why I Like It: I’m a big sucker for “I know your secret” stuff. This one has Todoroki opening up to Deku about his tragic life, which Bakugou also over hears, making these two the only people who know what Todoroki’s real deal is and therefore able to help him through with it. Bakugo followed them there, either to follow Deku or Shoto or really both, and gets a wake-up call from hearing the extremes this can bring. Deku thinks of Kacchan when he thinks of “those who have helped me” and tells Todoroki the best version of his backstory he can. It’s just...such a reciprocal moment.

#todobakudeku #todobaku #bakudeku #katsudeku #tododeku #shoto todoroki #katsuki bakugou #midoriya izuku #todoroki x bakugou #todoroki x midoriya #midoriya x bakugou #top 10

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